#hyperfocused on it for the past day and a half

[culttonotfollow]

Why I love “Hellblade: Senua’s Sacrifice” so much

So as I stated, I'm writing a post about my experience with this game and why I think it's as good as it is, including my favourite aspects of it. To this day it's my favourite game and one of the few I've managed to 100% complete.

This post is going to include spoilers. Do not read if you do not want spoilers.

Disclaimer out of the way, I actually want to start by saying that before this game was recommended to me by a friend (thank you, Markus- shout out to you), I had no idea what it was about other than the fact that it dealt in some way with mental health. I mostly forgot about it until I saw it on sale sometime in October (it might have been the Halloween sale), at which point I made the decision to purchase it.

To begin with, the visuals are stunning—beautiful and terrifying at the same time. And just to get mechanics out of the way so I can ramble about the story and the way it made me feel—some of the puzzles are challenging at first, but they are so rewarding after you figure them out that I almost didn't mind the difficulty. The fighting feels almost perfect, particularly with the autobalancing option.

The premise of the game is that Senua, a Celtic warrior with severe mental illness, sets out on a journey to the homeland of the Northmen after discovering what had happened to her lover, planning to enter Helheilm, the mythological land of the dead, or what would be considered hell, and retrieving his soul through bargaining with Hela (or Hel, as she's more commonly known). Throughout the entire game- with the exception of a segment in the story- she wears his skull on her belt, wrapped in a cloth.

The Game uses sound to mess with you??

The game throws you right in with whispers bouncing all around your head (even during the menu when you first open the game)- I will never not applaud Ninja Theory for their choice of using binaural sound (here is an article by Splice on what it is), otherwise it wouldn't be what it is. This is one of the few experiences where the classic "Best experienced with headphones" recommendation should be taken seriously.

As you paddle past, well, burnt, staked and hung corpses that don't make it less tense either, the voices get progressively louder and more erratic until you don't know how many there are anymore or where they're coming from, urging Senua to turn back or calling her a coward in many different ways- with the exception of a few, who actually argue with the others and encourage Senua to push on.

There have been moments when the voices stopped for a little while, but by the time I realized there was nothing in the background anymore except for my own racing thoughts, I was already somewhat uneasy.

To add on to that, one of the trials Senua goes through relies solely on intuition an hearing to get throught the darkness safely, with an extremely limited field of view. I can safely say that was when I was most terrified and hyperfocused in my 12 hours of gameplay. I have to admit after my first run I went to bed and the whispers were still there because of how much I was hearing them the past several hours.

Mindfuckery taken to the next level

I spent the majority of the game in awe, watching the story unfold in front of my eyes. A lot of games or franchises, in my opinion, struggle to make their characters feel human, but Hellblade managed to do it. Even equipped with a sword, I felt vurnelable at all times, the game does a great job at causing anxiety even during the most mundane moments.

There isn't a combat tutorial of any kind; you have to either figure out the "guide" is in the menu, or keep failing the first battle until you figure it out. The game actually only gives you a single prompt in regards to combat: Each time you fail (die), the rot on Senua's arm spreads, and when it reaches her head all progress is lost. This alone made me so much more conscious of every move I was making for over half the game, until I learned the truth.

It's not an actual mechanic, it's only put in place as a warning to add another thick layer of tension to every other already existing, anxiety inducing element of the game, and further enforce the game's primary goal of distorting your perception: what's real and what's not, what/who can you actually trust, what is the truth? It brought me anxiety to the point where it was borderline uncomfortable, and that's exactly why I loved it so much.

I spent the majority of this game in awe, just watching the story unfold. Every twist or reveal felt like a gut punch (in the best way I could mean this), and it made Senua (the girl you play as) feel human, something not a lot of games can do properly in my opinion. This game uses everything in its arsenal to create a truly dreadful experience: visuals, audio, light, combat, etc. without abusing jumpscares or scary monsters (although fighting Fenrir scared the ever loving hell out of me, but so did dealing with him in general). Rather, it capitalizes on its strongest suit: the childlike fear of what lies in the dark- what might occur if the dark really does take control.

The ending made me question my entire purpose (sort of)

It's going to sound weird, or insane, but the ending changed me as a person I think. It made me seriously reconsider some major things in my life, and take a moment to appreciate some others. It's both some sort of psychological torture or terror and an enlightening experience. It brought me to tears and left me completely speechless for what felt- and actually was- hours.

In its own very special and well done way, it's not strictly a game about a girl that's gone mad, or a quest about retrieving a soul, but it sucessfully and sensibly touches upon themes of grief, loss, and folklore. I can safely say I've never been more immersed or touched by a game on every single level. There are tens of memorable moments that I think back on, and I can't believe I got through every single one of these.

The ending took a twist for me. It was far from what I expected, but I think that's what made me as satisfied as it did- and yet it left me wanting even more. Which is why I'm so incredibly pumped for when the sequel comes out. Despite warning about spoilers, I won't actually say how it ended. I'll let whoever reads this discover for themselves one way or another.

Conclusion?

I recommend this game with my whole heart to whoever can handle these kinds of topics. It's beautiful, the story is heartbreaking, the gameplay is fun, and the visuals are beyond gorgerous.

[pikapeppa]

Year-End Writer's Round-Up: 2023

It’s that time of year, writer friends — time to take stock of what we’ve been up to this year! Tagging to literally ANY AND ALL WRITERS who would like to participate, but I’ll throw down some tags from the top of my head: @contrivedchaos @jadefyre @kittynomsdeplume @iamcayc @hollyand-writes @elveny @johaerys-writes @crackinglamb @mogwaei @alyssalenko @about2dance @cthu-boo @chloefraazers @fogsblue @lordofthenerds97, join in if you fancy!! If you're not a smut writer, feel free to leave out those stats, and feel free to add any accomplishments and "metrics" that are significant to you! 🥰

(Blank template at the bottom for convenience!)

Words written (published or not, WIPs totally count too!!): 999 496 — ARGH IT WAS SO CLOSE TO A COOL MILLION. I did this calculation on the evening of Dec 31 and I was like DAMMIT I NEED TO WRITE A DRABBLE LMAO. 😂🙈 Honestly, I’m surprised the word count was so high this year — I could have sworn my word count had dropped because I wrote very little for a few weeks after BG3 first came out LMAO!

Smut scenes: 42 — I've done better LOL. I’ll blame the slow-burn BG3 ships I’m working on currently. 😂

New things I tried:

I started dabbling in M/M smut this year, in the context of my beloved Horizon F/M/M polycules (Aloy/Drakka with either Kotallo or Nil). Usually when I write F/M/M threesomes, the focus is on the men pleasing the lucky lady of the group, but I headcanon Drakka in particular as being very unapologetically bi, so it’s only fair and right that he get some sweet M/M action. I’m looking forward to putting this M/M practice use on Halsin/Tav/Astarion when my BG3 writing finally gets to that point! 

This was also the first time that I wrote an AU where I gleefully yeeted the canon deaths LMAO. I’m usually a stickler for adhering to significant plot points including character deaths, but the dastardly and darling @iamcayc nudged me into writing Here Come the Dreams, where Varl and Fashav both get to live, and it was a total delight to keep those darling men alive and happy. 

I wrote a smut scene in first-person POV for the first time, using the adorable voice of Karlach from BG3. This was a particularly interesting challenge because I feel that the first-person voice calls for a more urgent in-the-moment kind of narration, which means that I had to alter my usual way of writing smut in terms of phrasing/wording and pacing, so it was a fun challenge! 

With Astarion/Tav/Halsin, this is my first time writing an OC who falls in love simultaneously with two people, and it’s been… interesting trying to negotiate the polycule coming together. Of course I had to get enamoured with (arguably) the two most emotionally complicated male LIs in BG3 and make my own life difficult, LMAO. I’ve been struggling a little with bringing the relationships together and it’s been slowing my writing down over the past month or two, but I’m trucking on because I love both Halsin and Astarion and I really do believe in the dynamics of the OT3. SILVANUS GUIDE MY HAND AS I FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT.

Fic I spent the most time on: 

Even The Hardiest Desert Blooms! I really sank my focus into my beloved Desert boy this year and wrapped up his fic, which is always a bittersweet feeling when you adore the pairing. 😭

Fic I spent the least time on:

Burning Blue (Karlach/Dammon). I was bitten by a sudden bug of adoration for them, and that piece basically came together in a day and a half because I was on fire to get it out. I LOVE THIS PAIRING SO MUCH. 😭🔥

Favourite thing I wrote: 

Even The Hardiest Desert Blooms has always been my self-indulgent pleasure because I just love Drakka to the moon and back, so focusing a lot of this year on his fic was a treat. But Here Come the Dreams was also an enormously fun project because I just went ham and hyperfocused on it for a month and a half. I really wanted to see if I could finish it in a month just for shits and giggles, but AS ALWAYS it ended up being longer than anticipated so I didn’t meet that goal, but it was still a total ball to come up with a fun little project and finish it as quickly as possible. 

Favourite thing I read: 

Hands-down, without a doubt, What’s A Sex Tape Between Friends?  by @auntie-coagulant. I don’t read much fanfic, and when I do, it's only for the ships that I don't write. So when I saw this fic recommended in the Kotallo server and I was like “Travis/Lis?? You have my attention.” My eyes were popping and I was HOWLING by the first chapter, and I’ve been dead in the water for this fic ever since and procrastinating on finishing the fic because MY EMOTIONS ARE NOT READY FOR THE HEARTBREAK.

Writing goals for next year: 

Finish Coming In Like A Western Wind. I’ve been sleeping on this fic since September because Astarion and Halsin turned my head and I feel really bad about it… but I do mean to finish it! 

Just keep on keeping on with my BG3 fics for Astarion and Halsin! I’ve been DYING to write smut for Halsin for months, and I have images living rent-free in my head of Astarion enjoying some very tender sensate focus, so let’s hope I get around to writing these scenes before I explode. 

**************

Template time!

Words written (published or not, WIPs totally count too!)

Smut scenes written (if applicable)

New things I tried

Fic I spent the most time on

Fic I spent the least time on

Favourite thing I wrote

Favourite thing I read

Writing goals for next year

Enjoy, friends!!! And cheers to another fulfilling year of writing! 🥰🥂

-- love from your friendly neighbourhood Pika! xoxo

[thatoldstandby]

Games What I Played May 2k25

My next few days are gonna suck, so there's 0 chance of me playing something new, so I may as well do my monthly wrap up. Before that starts, what's this, some wild links approach. January! February! March! April!

CARRYOVER GAMES

Trails from Zero

I ended up hyperfocusing on this juuuuust a bit and actually completed it. Total time of about 43 hours. Turns out, it’s great. I've grown to love the Trails games, and in particular their heavy focus on characters and characterization. Trails from Zero is the first step away from Liberl and the Sky cast established in the Trails in the Sky trilogy, so as a focal shift it could have easily fucked up in a lot of ways. Luckily, it’s set in the Zemurian country I’m most interested in as a setting (Crossbell), and it’s super strong as an introduction to that nation. Plus, the new characters are all excellent and the game somehow does this thing where you spend just enough time with the new characters that when the returning characters start sneaking in they feel fresh and interesting. You really see what the returners look like from a fresh eyed, relatively weak team. It's great. On the whole, I think I may prefer the cast of Sky, but that’s also a function of having spent three games with them in the first place.

I do have a couple problems with Zero. First, the ending of Zero felt kind of rushed. I didn't hate it, it made sense in the setting and with the pacing of the story, and if it hadn't all coalesced like it did at the end I'd probably have a few more issues with it, but I feel like the late stage reveal could have been given a bit more room. The second problem is the fact that it is a cop drama. Now, admittedly, it's a cop drama where you're playing The Good Ones, in a group that's based on the Bracer organization that runs throughout the series, which means they are explicitly community focused and based on doing work for the populace, but they're still cops. There's a lot of thought and emphasis put into the depiction of the corruption that's at the heart of Crossbell and it's unique position in the world and how your characters deal with it, but they're still cops. Like, I'm not exactly the most revolutionary of anyone I know, but even I can recognize that that's an issue. That said, I do love that new Crossbell cast so much, and I will always support when characters are trying to do good despite the system they live in. Also, special shout outs to the side characters; so many of them are so good, especially the theatre troupe.

Good time all around. Also of note, I haven’t done NG+ on a Trails game before; I felt like I largely cleared out FC and SC, and I did everything I cared to see in Third, but I missed out a ton in Zero based on the numbers. So I may NG+ that before heading on to Azure.

Final Fantasy XIV

Her ass is not taking a selfie, that camera is not on. She does not know how to work a tomestone.

NEW GAMES

Like a Dragon: Pirate Yakuza in Hawaii

Hey, finally wrapped it. I don’t have any more to add beyond saying that I finished it. My previous musings were pretty accurate to how i felt throughout the thing. Maybe I should have tried to meet it in it’s place more, but I just couldn’t get there at the end of the day. It’s fine. The ending was fine; I liked the framing device they used. It’s worth playing. It’s a lot of fun to play, which is kind of shocking since, if I’m being charitable, Yakuza action combat hasn’t been great in the past. But now it’s great. Maybe next time it’ll be attached to a plot I care about more than not at all. OH WAIT FUCK so Matt Mercer kind of totally killed it as Majima? I'm genuinely surprised; he really brought a lot of the tone and inflection that Majima has into his voice over. Really well done, an absolute standout. ANOTHER AFTER THOUGHT; this game had the single worst half hour of any Yakuza game. Literal torture. Nevermind anything good I said about this game zero out of ten.

Skin Deep

This is super interesting. I like it; but I don’t think I love it. It’s a new Blendo joint, and it’s essenbtially a first person version of Heat Signature, the second game in the Defenestration Trilogy that I love. I don’t really love Heat Signature; mostly because it’s the most narrative-light of the trilogy. There’s a lot of systemic fun to be had, but super story light. My feelings are basically the same with Skin Deep. Here, you play a character who’s job is to go onto space ships that have been captured by pirates and rescue the cat crew, then escape. To rescue those cats, you have to steal/find cat keys from the armed and dangerous pirates in whatever way possible and free the cats from their captivity. Guns and explosives are a rarity, so the game forces you to be creative and use all the tools and systems available to you. And it’s *great* as a stealth immersive sim. I love the loop of seeing a thing, making a plan to get that thing, beginning to execute the plan to get that thing, and then immediately fucking it up and having to improvise a way out of the situation while also maybe getting the thing. It’s great, highly suggested if you love stealth games or immersive sims. Or Blendo games in general; the Blendo-vibes are strong in the narrative, light though it is

Ok that's it. No more games. Come back in a month. I'll be sad, and have played more game in the meanwhile.

[liyahaffirmed]

UPDATE.’

i havent been active at all in the past week, and heres why!

(life update, future posts, success stories, new love 👀, & why everything is going good for me right now)

so basically ive just been feeling really drained and out of energy lately.

but! my mother ordered me a shein haul (which i manifested 🤭, success story post coming soon!) my gma took me on a shopping spree and bought me some clothes toooo, im getting a room makeover from my mommy, dad is giving me some money, my best friend did my hair for free (i did hers too!), I got a check for $100 for a program i did durring the school year (no warning or anything! didnt even know they gave out checks for the program! success story coming soon on that too + a method!) Im getting my hair done tommorow, nails done this week, and im going out for half of the week for my best friends birthday. my skin has also been clearing up after suffering a baddd breakout with really painful bumps!

why?

subliminals, writing out my affirmations and desires and then simply LEAVING THEM ALONE. i wrote down all of my desires & i affirmed for three days straight, “i have all of my desires, my life is exactly like my script.” and then, i stopped thinking about it. I just listened to subliminals in my sleep, i started the playlist with an asmr video to put me to sleep, then have my subliminals lined up in order of most important to me to least important. then i just…went to sleep 🤷🏾‍♀️.

i think what others do is hyperfocus on their manifestations, desires, and affirmations too much when that isnt the method that serves and fulfills them. sometimes you just have to make clear what your desires are and that you have them, and then simlpy let them clear from your mind and let your subconscious handle it from there. All ive been doing for the past few days is writing down my desires or what i want to happen, leaving it alone and letting it fade from my mind, and boom, instantly, they just happen!!

new love 👀?

so, like 5 months ago i had mapped out the “perfect guy for me.” Tall, dreadhead, sweetheart, treats me right, etc etc. the list was titled something like “my ideal boy” and it had EVERY SINGLE trait i wanted in a guy. now, for the last two months i was focusing on my old sp (we’ll call him “jake”) he’s toxic, doesnt talk to me unless i talk to him, doesnt be on the phone with me unless i call him, and said he “doesnt want me around.” so after i did all that hyperfocusing on trying to change him, i gave up, i didnt truly believe that he would change. and i didnt feel like he was worth even manifesting anymore.

so i texted my sister (not by blood) about it, telling her that i was officially #cooloffjake and that i was tired of the way he was treating me, that he didnt care about me, and that i was done with him. that SAME DAY, i was on ft with my sister when all of a sudden she asks if she can put me on with her brother (not by blood) so i talk with her more and more about him, and she added him to the call so she could better explain the situation im in.

as of right not, i, not allowed to date until im 16, he knows that and has agreed that he would 100% stay loyal to me even though we arent together right now! he understands my predicament completely and said has no problem waiting till i turn 16 to be in a real relationship with me 🤭. hes so sweet, he texts me all the time and calls me cute nicknames, and hes a total loverboy. he just makes me so happy 🤗.

whats funny is that i wrote that list and forgot about it after a week! i dont even know where it IS anymore. but this just goes to show that when you let go of things that do not serve you, the universe will send you something (or rather someone) who does 💞.

have a lovely day my (idk what you guys want me to call yall 😓)

- liyah 💖

[chainsofaether]

Does your character like their appearance/does it fill them with a sense of pride? Do they take full ownership over their body and engage in things like hair dye, body piercings, tattoos, etc? Or are they shier, whether due to outside expectations or their own dysmorphia?

A very basic picture for reference.

Nyxathe is pretty aware she is generally attractive and she makes effort to enhance that where she can. She uses makeup rather often, partly to draw attention to certain features but also to add a bit of color to her otherwise extremely pale skin. She's a bit of an oddity for someone that lives in Ul'dah though.

Very tall for a woman in Ul'dah considering most are Lalafel or Hyur. She also doesn't tan at all. She just burns if she spend to much time in the sun. Her eyes are pretty, if mismatched. Full lips, often painted in a pale red to add more color.

But without getting in to more detail as we trail down past her shoulders, yes she's proud. Though she might not admit it. Bragging isn't really her thing. But even without the admission it's easy enough to see that she spends time on her appearance, picks out clothes that flatter her shape rather then hide it. All that leads the suggestion of pride.

Of course few people are entirely narcissistic about their appearance. Does she really find her eyes attractive? After all the right is rather odd. That's closer to something she's learned to accept then outright have pride in. It's a unique aspect if nothing else though.

A small hit to her pride though is her memory of her mother. A small part of her thinks she doesn't quite live up to her beauty. While Nyx knows she's nothing to be ashamed off she does wish she was a bit more. Nyx forgets though that she hasn't actually seen her mother in more then half her life. Her memory is less reality and more a figment. Plus, just maybe, if she ate more she'd get what she wants. Put a little weight on girl. Stop hyperfocusing on experiments and enjoy a cupcake or something.

As for the second question, Not really. One she likes her stark white hair. Not that she doesn't look good in other colors and styles. Plus the white makes taking on any color extremely easy.

But have you ear tired to dye your foot plus long ears without getting the dye in them? It's something of a nightmare. She can do it but it's extremely time consuming. Plus she has another problem. Thanks to her messed up aether her hair grows at rapid rate. So any dye job would be obvious if she didn't reapply almost daily. Which also means long hair styles are a must if she doesn't want questions.

So dying her hair is largely off the table. The ears present another problem though. They are extremely sensitive. She does not like random people touching them. She really doesn't like the degree of pain they experience. So ear piercings aren't really her thing.

The rest of her body is untouched too though not for any particular reason beyond she's content with her appearance. She could probably be convinced to try some piercing elsewhere. Or one day she'll find a piece of jewelry she'd really like to wear.

Tattoo are another topic entirely though. Nyxathe has some skill in Alchemy so she can make her own grimoire. But this has put the thought in her head of applying magical symbols to her skin. She knows some tradition of magic go that route and she's curious of the benefits. She's been considering a nontoxic, but highly conductive ink she could use. A lot of grimoire ink isn't really appropriate for the body though all of it is Aetherically conductive.

So one day she'll turn herself in to a canvas. One that she gets someone to stain with geometric patterns.

But no, not shy. She's comfortable up to just straight up striping down in front of people if it's more expedient, the situation is more important then modesty. They can look if they want, just no touching without asking.

Thank you Sea for the ask! I hadn't really thought about piercings that much in regards to Nyx. Give her magic ones and she'll put get pierced immediately though. Now I have to sit here and think what she thinks about piercings and tattoos on other people. First thought, hot. Well see if that's really her thought though.

[squish36-writes-and-draws]

12 November: Unraveling

Word count: 579

TW: Swearing, (hyperbolic) self-harm and/or gore, Keefe being allosexual

General Taglist (lmk if you want to be added/removed!): @stellar-lune @faggot-friday @kamikothe1and0nly @nyxpixels @florida-preposterously

@poppinspop @uni-seahorse-572 @solreefs @corruption-exe @rusted-phone-calls

@when-wax-wings-melt @good-old-fashioned-lover-boy7 @dexter-dizzknees @abubble125 @hi-imgrapes

@callum-hunt-is-bisexual @callas-pancake-tree @hi-my-name-is-awesome @katniss-elizabeth-chase @sillyguy-supreme

@void-kill @thefoxysnake

Unraveling Project Specific Taglist (lmk if you want to be added/removed/upgraded): @cutebisexualmess @crippling-pages @daizythegreat @sophiefostersno1stan @iggydancebreak

@theleopardstalker @you-will-meet-your-downfall @multi-fandom-lunatic

On Ao3 or below the cut!

First (3 November) / Previous / Next

Keefe Sencen's Journal

    I had a surprisingly not shit day. I mean, I did get threatened by a guy with a pair of very dangerous looking garden shears, but, honestly, that’s nothing compared to the last few days. I’m trying to not think about those last few days and it really isn’t working, so I’ve taken to hyperfocusing on the previously mentioned garden shears incident. 

    Apparently I scared him by hiding in the bushes trying not to get found because it’s hard to hide when you didn’t bring an obscurer and, as discussed many times before, I don’t have any fucking money. 

    So, you know, like any rational person, he started yelling at me and I thought for a second that my polyglot thing was broken but it just turns out that it’s a processing speed limitation as a result of barely sleeping for the past week and a half. 

    As I was blinking away the exhaustion, I found myself looking at his eyebrows, the angry crease accentuated as they move up and down while ye yells at me and —

    Fuck. 

    It’s kind of a great wonder of the world that I hadn't figured this out yet. I am a buffoon of the highest order. No one has ever or will ever buffoon more than I have. It’s almost like a world record, except bad. 

    Get me a shamkniv. I need to remove my eyeballs. I’m not doing this again.     

    If you haven’t guessed, dear journal, I may have gotten deeply distracted by another person’s existence once again, and, as such, I cannot fucking deal with this anymore. All logical options point to me just fucking off to another city, but I’m just going to do it again, aren’t I? 

    This is the neverending cycle that I’m going to throw myself into. Not even a full forty-eight hours in a new city and I’m already doodling in the margins about a guy who, statistically, I’m never going to see again. And even if I do, that’s not happening. I’m not dragging anyone else into this mess. 

    Who am I fucking kidding? Either I’m going to leave or I’m going to fuck up. Those are the two options. There is no secret third choice where no one gets hurt. 

Later: I should probably also muse poetic about the fact that he’s, you know, a guy and how the elves try to pretend like that whole thing doesn’t exist, but we all know what’s going on behind closed doors with the councillors. Also Alden and Quinlin. They think they’re so clever, but, dear stars, they are so completely and absolutely wrong. I don’t think Fitz knows though. That’s going to be a bit of a revelation if he ever finds that one out. 

    While we’re talking about Fitz, of course I have to reflect on how our friendship has existed over the last insert-number-of-years-here. And, uh, well, shit. Fitz is hot. How dare he? If I ever go back to the Lost Cities and then get rejected by Sophie, I’ll gladly get rejected to the oort cloud by Fitz. 

    He’d totally fucking murder me while directly quoting the laws governing the Matchmakers. Although, that does sound kinda hot too.

    Who said that—? 

    Maybe I need to turn off my brain for a bit. That sounds nice. Just give it a nice little bath in cerebrospinal fluid. I’m going to try to get some sleep. It’s not going to work, but it’s worth trying, right? 

[maria021015]

SPOILERS FOR CHAPTER 23 AHEAD!

At the sound of footsteps, Zaida turned with her muscles tensed, ready for another fight only to drop her guard when she saw it was Allison dressed in her black combat clothes and carrying her crossbow with her, aimed right at Zaida. “Oh, thank God it’s just you.” She laughed and waited for the girl to lower her weapon and explain what was going on with the hunters storming the place. Except Allison didn’t change her stance.

“Have you seen Derek?” The girl asked Zaida, but there was something off about the darkness in her eyes and the stiffness in her features that was unsettling.

“Yeah, the Kanima got to him - got to pretty much all of us - but don’t worry, he’s healing. Jackson was distracted by you guys arriving, so he should still be okay.” She answered. “Perfect timing, by the way.”

“Where is he?” Allison coldly ignored everything else that Zaida said, hyperfocused on the location of the alpha.

“Why? What’s going on with you, Ali? You totally disappeared from Lydia’s party.” Zaida’s brows furrowed in her confusion. Something was off.

“Tell me where he is!” Allison snapped, her finger twitching over the trigger of her weapon, which was still aimed at Zaida’s chest.

“Or what? You’re gonna shoot me?” The shorter brunette arched a brow jokingly until Allison’s lack of a reaction alerted her to the fact that what she had said was not far from the truth at all. “You’re taking the piss, right? You’re not actually going to shoot me…? Ali, what do you want with Derek?”

“If you aren’t going to tell me then just stop wasting my time and get out of my way.” Allison’s tone was as cold and unyielding as an iceberg.

“You’re gonna kill him, aren’t you?” Zaida came to the only possible conclusion for the huntress’ attitude and stood her ground. “No, I’m not going to let you do that.”

Allison tried to walk past her, but Zaida stepped directly into her path. The girl only tried to dodge around to the other side, but Zaida was just as fast to follow and block her once again. The muscles in Allison’s jaw clenched as her anger sparked. “If you don’t get out of my way, I’m going to have to make you.” She warned with a flash of apprehension behind her dark doe eyes. “Please don’t make me do this.”

“Ali, you might be furious with him right now - and I have no idea why - but you’ll regret it once your head clears. I’m not gonna let you live with that.” Zaida refused to move, knowing that Allison wouldn’t go through with her threats.

The crossbow shifted, lowering, and Zaida smiled, but in a split second her expression twisted into a scream of pain as Allison pulled the trigger and sent an arrow sinking into her thigh, right beside the half-healed crescent wounds of Derek’s claws just below the hem of her party dress. “You shot me!” Zaida gasped and stared at the girl, absolutely flabbergasted. “You actually fucking shot me, you bitch! What the hell?!”

“You’ll heal,” Allison sent her a half-shrug and walked around nonchalantly as Zaida sagged against the wall, her free hand clutching at her bleeding leg.

“What in the fiery pits of Tartarus has cursed this day?” Zaida sobbed to herself, tears rolling down her cheeks. In the span of an hour she’d been held hostage, paralysed, betrayed by her own flesh and blood - again - and shot by one of her best friends with a damn crossbow!

As the screech of the Kanima echoed from the direction Allison had run off to, Zaida staggered the opposite way, hissing in pain with each motion but still trying to find where Scott and Stiles had gone. She didn’t have to hobble about on her injured leg for long before she came across Stiles, dragging his own immobile form across the floor towards the holding cells, using only the strength of his arms to crawl forward. When the boy’s eyes landed on her they widened in horror, immediately sweeping to the bolt buried within her thigh.

“What happened?” He questioned in alarm, hating his inability to get up and run to help her.

“It’s a long story, and we need to find Scott now.” Her words came out in a huff between her ragged breathing.

“He left to look for you,” Stiles explained, craning his neck to look up at her from the ground. The sounds of crashing and screeching were now accompanied by the roars of wolves.

“Well I think he found someone else instead,” Zaida commented, grunting as she slid down the wall, leaving her leg straight and propping it outwards whilst she lowered herself to sit on the floor. “I need to get this out so I can heal, but…I can’t do it by myself.”

“I am really not the person to be asking for assistance with something like that.” Stiles wrinkled his nose in disgust at the oozing wound, managing to regain enough motion to haul himself into a sitting position beside her. His legs were now working up to his knees, and most of his upper body was functional.

“It’s not like I have a lot of options right now.” Her words dripped with sarcasm and the pain in her wince filled Stiles with enough determination that he reached out to grip the shaft of the arrow in his fist, the other hand bracing against her cold, blood-soaked skin. Normally something like this would make him faint, and he could feel the lightheadedness seeping in, the corners of his vision going dark and blurry. Just looking at Zaida’s face - completely drained of colour and twisted into a grimace - forced him to push through it and count.

“Is that for me, or you?” She joked, but he ignored her as he finished on ‘three’ and tugged the weapon out of Zaida’s flesh with all the strength and speed he could muster. She cried out and bit down on her bottom lip to smother the sound, drawing blood that glistened on her burgundy lipstick. When it was finally done she collapsed against his shoulder, closing her eyes to rest as the exhaustion of the night finally caught up to her. Using her powers, healing Derek’s claw marks, losing all that blood…It had taken everything she had out of her, and she still needed to finish healing this new gaping hole in her leg. Stiles tugged his flannel jacket off himself and bundled it up, pressing the wad of fabric against her thigh to staunch the bleeding. “I think…I just need a minute, and I’ll be good to go.” She mumbled, giving into that comfortable hazy feeling as it completely took over and the world around her faded away, leaving only the warmth of Stiles' body against her cheek.

When Zaida regained consciousness, she was lying in the back of Stiles’ Jeep across the row of seats, the boy’s blood-stained flannel wrapped around her leg, and Sheriff Stilinski’s heavy uniform jacket covering her bare legs like a blanket. Her tiny little black dress didn’t exactly leave much room for preserving her dignity. It was well into the early hours of the morning, judging by the dawn cracking just over the horizon, sending rays of warm pink light through the windows to illuminate her vision of Stiles in the driver’s seat, waiting for her to wake up and keeping watch over the car park. Zaida pushed herself into a seated position, the worn leather groaning beneath her ensnaring Stiles’ attention and causing the boy to whip his head towards her with wild amber eyes roaming her face to check if she was okay.

“You should be resting.” He warned her, but she ignored his words and pulled back the flannel to see smooth skin beneath, abandoning the fabric on the floor now that it was no longer needed.

“Sorry about your shirt.” She apologised groggily, but he brushed it off. “What did I miss?”

“After you passed out Scott managed to find us and help me get you into the car before anyone could notice you were hurt. Then we went back inside for our parents. Turns out, while we were otherwise occupied the Kanima attacked and Derek and Scott were forced to fight it in front of Melissa, so she saw everything and now she knows.” Stiles sighed heavily as if letting the weight of the information off his chest. “Scott took his mom home to try and help her come to terms with everything, and Dad was none the wiser. Matt and the Kanima escaped, and the hunters all cleared out pretty quickly. Your brother came by not too long ago and reported a crime scene. He said he got locked in an office and while he was climbing out of the window he saw Matt making a run for it and followed. By the time he got to him Matt was already dead - drowned in the lake under the wharf. He and my dad are just filling out the paperwork to shut the case, and I thought you might want to wait to see that Xander’s okay.”

“No.” Zaida’s heart leapt in her chest as the events of the night all came flooding to the forefront of her mind. “No, I can’t see him. We have to go. Stiles, please just drive. I don’t care where, just go.”

“Oh-” Stiles jumped at the urgency in her tone, not waiting to ask questions as he started the engine and pulled out of his parking spot. “Okay, I’ll take you to the apartment?”

“Not there!” She exclaimed, pulling her seatbelt and clicking it into position as the car pulled out onto the road. She tried to think of a place to direct him to, but she couldn’t go to Lydia’s - what with the party being shut down and the girl likely already being in trouble with her Mom because of it - and she certainly couldn’t go to Allison’s, which left… “Can I stay with you? I normally wouldn’t ask, it’s just…I have nowhere else to go.”

“Zay, there’s no way I’m leaving you where you’re not comfortable staying.” Stiles scoffed at the fact she thought she even had to ask. “Despite all his complaining, my dad loves you, and after tonight I’m sure he’ll understand you sleeping over.”

“Thank you,” She relaxed into the back seat, some of her panic mellowing out. She stared out the window and watched as the glowing street lights flew past them.

“Have you heard anything from Allison since her disappearance act at Lydia’s?” Stiles questioned casually and Zaida’s muscles stiffened at the sound of the girl’s name.

“Allison was there tonight.” She stated, her throat dry and voice rough. “She’s the one who shot me.”

“She what?!” The car suddenly jerked to the left as Stiles looked over his shoulder at her, swerving unintentionally and then correcting his fault.

“She was looking for Derek with literal murder in her eyes and she told me to move, but I didn’t. I didn’t think she’d actually…” Zaida trailed off, finding it a bit too raw and painful to talk about at the moment.

“Was she the one who locked Xander in that office?” Stiles tried to piece together the missing information, guessing entirely incorrectly.

“I’m the one who locked Xander in there. I froze the door shut.” She swallowed effortfully, trying to wet her throat. “He’s a hunter Stiles. He’s with the Argents. He knew this whole time - about werewolves, the Kanima, what I am, what happened to our parents…He’s always known, and he never told me. He was never going to, and he still won’t. I just…can’t look at him right now. I can’t be around him. I don’t even recognise my own brother anymore. I don’t know what to do.”

Stiles didn’t know what to say to that as he pulled into the driveway of his house and parked the Jeep. He and Zaida were both silent as they entered the house. Stiles retrieved Zaida a spare pair of grey sweatpants and a t-shirt, leaving the girl to shower off the blood. When she emerged she found him downstairs, watching Star Wars episode two on the living room couch. She joined him wordlessly, and instead of protesting when she leaned her head against his shoulder as she half-expected him to, he brought his arm around her shoulders and rested his own head atop hers. Needless to say, neither of them slept that night. How could anything go back to normal after this?

[lev1athantwins2]

redid my hc form for Octavio :) hc notes below

some hc notes:

he's autistic. not stereotypical bazinga autistic, im talking "these are my comfort mechs and i treat them as my children", im talking "i got so hyperfocused on what i was doing i forgot to bathe for 3 days straight," im talkin- you get the point

he is a closeted bi man, and will always be in the closet. he knows he could hypothetically come out, but due to an abusive father in his childhood up to early 20s, he's been emotionally scarred for life. it'd be too much on him. (this hc is based off of my own experience as a bi woman.)

his wife Sashimi knows he's in the closet, but would never push him out of it. she respects his boundaries.

he can actually walk with legs, but being in humanoid form takes a lot of energy out of him so really half of the time he's in octoling form. it's a disability of his.

he's got bipolar type 2. black and white, yellow and green, pink, red, there's no two shades of moods he's exactly in. he's on medication for it, but still struggles with it. he passed this down to his granddaughters, but not to his grandson. he got his fear of crowds instead. (i have also based this off of my own experience with having bipolar type 2, and having it passed down from me to my great grandpa.)

as for personality...Octavio is not tired. He's exhausted. After trying so hard to bring the octarian people up to the surface, he soon found out that he no longer was needed as they came up to the surface on their own. Which...kind of hurt. Yes, he tried to take over the world, but he was doing it to try and help others. But since he's not needed...well, what good is he for? Agent 2 tells him that he's not bad deep down, but part of him feels like that no matter what he does, he can't fix everything. At least, not like how he fixes the octobot king.

personality pt. 2: He's learning to change, but part of him is afraid to do it. Because of his past actions, his own sons barely tolerate him for the sake of his wife, and the octarian empire of the past isn't really there anymore, just in name at this point. Sashimi says it's never to late to change, and tries to believe it. At least his grandkids think he's okay, even if he's a bit old-fashioned and is willing to throw hands. Or er, a tentacle and a hand at this point.

(please do not tag as "kin" or "me", as ive based part of his personality and hcs off of my actual great grandfather and myself, ty!)

[sizzlingpatrolfox]

the reason why I think that Jimin might be cautious of what he says about Jungkook is that it's in his personality to talk about him. among the members, it's Jungkook who he's eager to talk about or he'd have side comments. so seeing changes about him makes me think whether he's just guarding what he says. I'm used to Jungkook keeping mum about him so the constant mentioning of his name is a surprise, even if it's not alluding to them hanging out. I remember when he had IG he has never interacted with Jimin, never liked any photo. even in the early lives I can't recall him mentioning Jimin in passing, maybe barely. but 1 live for him? and he certainly doesn't look forced or bored. it's funny when he told army in the chat that he won't read comments and he did barely read them.I guess it paid off. he's #2 in brand reputation. lol

Jimin has mentioned Jungkook a lot of times, and it was always random tidbits, or how he practiced this or that with Jungkook. But that was always while BTS was the BTS we knew. We knew they were spending time together, even if it was just for schedules. So I just honestly believe he's not mentioning him that much because there isn't much to talk about. If you spend a lot of time with someone, you have anecdotes with them, they're fairly present in your mind because you're around them a lot. If you don't see them often, you don't share that many activities with them, then it's just natural that you won't have much to talk about them. And I think that's how things are right now. Or at least is a valid, logical possibility to consider.

In fact, not too long ago in one of his lives before FACE was released, Jimin made a comment about JK which was suspicious to me because it was in the past tense. Jimin talked about how he'd realized he can't text and speak to people irl at the same time, and he said something like "back then, Jungkook was the same and I thought he was ignoring me on purpose". The words "back then" were surprising to me.

I think also people are hyperfocused on what he says about Jungkook or if he even talks about him at all because they're trying to prove that they're still together or whatever. But Jimin doesn't talk about anyone, actually. As I've said in another post, it's not like Jimin talks about anyone else. There would nothing suspicious in him talking about Jungkook, anyways. Maybe there's just nothing to talk about.

Jungkook is seen literally several days a week out and about having dinner. Does he talk about them? No. So if seeing someone and not mentioning them means they're concealing something and trying to hide a personal relationship, then Jungkook must be dating half of south Korea. I'm sure Jimin too goes out on his own or with his friends and he's not seen, but he doesn't talk about it either. Jimin went to a football game with Hoseok last year and neither of them posted about it.

That's what I have a problem with. I have a problem with this conspiracy theory that has settled that because Jimin doesn't talk about Jungkook, MUST mean They're being privet and closeted couple struggling to live in a homophobic oppressive society. Let's just stablish for once and for all that neither Jimin or Jungkook talk about which people they meet. It is regular behavior for ALL BTS MEMBERS. As I've said a million times too, taekookers thought that taekook were never seen together because they were a secret couple but the truth is that they just didn't meet often because they were NOT dating. Most times the truth is as simple as that.

I think it's also useful to look back and realize how much "off schedule" content there has actually been through the years and most importantly what was the source of said footage. Were they seen? Did they talk about it? Did they post about it? And realize that it's not much different from how it is right now.

I had to block this person because they kept insisting about the privet off schedule couple and didn't care to understand my point, but all the content you have ever seen about jikook always came from the company. Period. I'm not saying it was a lie, I'm just saying that's where everyone got their interactions from. Look at jikookers now, crying and throwing up because they don't hang out, because a year has passed since the last time they were seen in the same frame. And realize that the difference is that there's no more source for the content, because the source used to be bighit content, official content. The source for ALL jikook "moments" has been BTS content, and it stopped the moment BTS content stopped too.

And this one just to point out how Jimin hasn't really been acting strange, at least for me.

[chestersbraincell]

finally getting around to this

2,4,9,10,11,16,18,25,27,31,36,37,40,47,48,54,63,64,74,79,90,91,97,100

no pressure to answer all of these and feel free to skip any you don't wanna answer

2. Very tall. Like, slightly taller than what’s considered averagely „tall” by human standards

4. I don’t remember the name rn but the fear of reflections. I HATE that shit. Both my tv and the mirror above my desk is covered up. The only mirror I interact with day to day is the one in the bathroom and when I do wash my hands etc I prefer to lean foward to the point where my forehead is touching it and look down so that I don’t even see it in my periphery

9. Receiving is definitely Quality Time, as well as perhaps a little Verbal affirmation or whatever it was called is also very very appreciated. I think I’m pretty much the same when Giving.

10. I used to have this latent constant tension at the back of my mind whenever I would leave the house/knew I had to do something. In my current life situation its not there anymore but I suspect it will come back if I ever get better enough to function day to day again

11. Ofc I would! Maybe not all of them at once, I’m the type of person to like, if given the chance, always save atleast one for a dire moment or whatever

16. Why you can look at my archive for that! Very, very recently, though. I think about half a year ago now. Perhaps a little less

18. Hmm, probably my most recent somewhat lucid one that I talked about on the blog, the one that was lightly inspired by the Oblivion theory for deltarune. That and that random possibly deltarune prediction one

25. I quite like Halloween, I’m not sure if I had come to terms with the fact tht I’m otherkin by the time last year’s Halloween had occured, but if I make it to this year’s I might just take the excuse to go wear some gear-ish stuff(mostly just dress in all black with a mask or something like that) and wander the forest near me, maybe freak out and individual or two. Couldn’t really do this at any other time of the year lol

27. I would eventually like to get enough money to gear up as my kin type sometime as mentioned above. But if we’re talking past costumes I’d say the one I put the most care and effort into was my fnaf puppet one from a couple of years back. Brought a paper mask and painted it myself!!

31. Is any of this worth it? Why do I continue?

36. It’s a bit pathetic really, but I often daydream about just. Being able to live life normally. Being able to afford everything without a care in the world. Taking up swimming again without being mortified by my body. Possibly getting a surgery here and there to get my body to look less feminine. Loosing weight, but because I want to have access to clothes I’d actually want to wear(alot of fashion Is unfortunately very innacessible past a certain weight). That and I’d appreciate having less health issues that I currently do because of my weight. Working at a neat little cafe, nothing fancy. Not a fancy life at all. Just, a comfortable one. One where I don’t have to worry, I guess. Oh and I also make up a bunch of imaginary music videos to the music I listen to so there’s that.

37. My room, where else is there to go? Music sometimes helps

40. Yours was the first one I thought of haha. It’s very calming, what can I say. That and I dont really pay special attention to voices so

47. It depends. Though I’m definitely not a fan of morning. Either that time after eating dinner at around 3-7 pm where life is just, comfortable, I guess or the late post-midnight hours when it’s between 2am and 5am and you get those random crazed moments of energy, usually when hyperfocusing on something. It’s quite magical. It’s like the world doesn’t exist, for a moment

48. Not particularly, I have a few in my room, mostly mementos, so I don’t sleep with them. I do love my flowey plushie alot though, my greatest treasure. Aside from the Important Person shirt it’s one of the only pieces of Undertale merch I have and it’s merch I got after YEARS of being in the fandom but being too young to like. Get merch I guess. That and I’m also proud of myself for getting official merch that can actually at least partially go towards the person who’s changed my life(thank you toby)

54. Can’t think of one right now sorry. You can probably like search up hot take on my blog and find one if not a few idk

63. Actually no! You’d think so, wouldn’t you? But no, not particularly. If we’re talking BIG youtubers I watched as a kid I will point you to DanTDM. The fucker(/affectionate) is mostly responsible for how quickly I learned english upon watching his mod showcases once I moved here at the age of like 9

64. Either very simply in word and very shy in voice, or I straight up deny. It depends

74. Come on you KNOW that we’ve been on that tangent in DMs. But I’ll summarise: the hugerrrrrrrrr(I pile up a bunch of pillow next to myself of snuggle up to them)

79. Ohohohoho there’s ALOT. I’ve gone into alot of it in question 36. I guess I would also like to be less impacted by my parents/be less like them in terms of being. A bit of a pain to love.

90. All nighter but if we’re talking actual like going to sleep while it’s still night I think it was something around like 7am or so

91. Kinda??? I’ve had curtain bangs before I think. I also once cut the two strands that remained from my ponytail back when my hair was long asf much shorted but not exactly bang-short, and used to dye em purple. So I guess there’s that.

97. Sometimes. I used to more back when I was in the manifestation kind of sphere/not negative. But I do take notice when a time like that shows on my clocks. Perhaps I don’t wish but it does comfort me a little in an odd way

100. Is it not obvious? Labels are confusing and I’m not sure how possibly inaccurate or outdated my old ones are but I’ve given up trying to specify and keep up with em so. Take this with a grain of salt: genderfluid(currently non-binary and I refuse to try to label is further than that cuz its confusing. Like, most of the time I dont feel particularly attached to the concept of gender and would prefer if people weren’t ABLE to assume me as any one, but I do occasionally lean into/dabble in gender, so to speak), omnisexual(very little known label for how surface-level it is I swear more representation for omni folk pls) and maybe possibly somewhere on the tail ends of the aroace spectrum. Am definitely not completely aroace, I’m not even entirely sure if I’m to any extent 🤷

[dubblebubbletea]

Orre Region is vastly underappreciated

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[aesteraceae]

2AM

Relationship: 3Racha (Chan, Changbin, Jisung)/fem reader

This fic was created for the @skzseasons may event!

Tags below the cut!

Word count: 7,142

Ao3 Link!

Tags: polyamory, songwriter & producer!reader, sub bang chan, sub Jisung, sub Changbin, dom reader, mentioned Chan/Changbin/Jisung, mommy kink, Noona kink, biting, nipple play, Changbin is a brat, semi-public sex (kind of, they're in a locked studio), voyeurism, foursome, 3racha is horny, dacryphilia if you squint, spanking, blowjobs, Praise kink, degradation, sadomasochism, face fucking, objectification, cum play, light pet play, edging, orgasm control, feminization

Notes: Mommy kinks are super fun to write, so I had a lot of fun with this one ^^

3racha's dynamic as a whole is so much fun, so it was a no-brainer to use them for this prompt.

If you enjoy this, please reblog it! It motivates me to write and I really enjoy hearing feedback, even if it's just an emoji or two <3

Tags: @sunnyville36

(Let me know if you'd like to be added or removed from the taglist!)

· · ────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

The studio is pleasantly warm, the AC blowing hot air into the room to combat the chill of late fall.

Changbin lies over the arm of the couch, tapping out a beat on the leather cushions while he goes over the lyrics he'd written so far. His brow is furrowed, lips pressed into a thin line, and you can tell he's frustrated. Jisung is sitting on the floor, back against the couch, obviously half asleep but still making a valiant effort at humming a melody.

Chan's hunched over his desk, clicking away at the audio files they'd recorded so far, and grunting softly every few minutes. His shoulders are tense, bunching up with stress and exhaustion, held tight like he'll collapse if he lets it go.

And you're in the middle of it all, lyrics sitting abandoned in the little notebook you brought.

The night had started well, ideas flowing easily, inspired by the changing season and all the metaphors that came with it.

But after a few hours the motivation slowly dwindled, and while you knew when to call it a day, "rest" doesn't seem to be in 3Racha's dictionary.

"It's getting late." You say, unlocking your phone to see that it's already well past 2 AM. The building was likely deserted by now, but of course it wasn't out of the ordinary for them to stay up this late.

Taking the opportunity to work with 3Racha had been an easy decision, but you really wished you'd known just how often they did this before you accepted.

Jisung snorts, obviously aware of the irony with the phrase "getting" late. You nudge him with your foot and he grins, stretching his arms above his head.

"It is late. And we've been working for quite a while." He says the words around a yawn, snuggling back into the couch like he planned to sleep right there on the floor.

"We've gotta get this finished, Ji," Changbin says, but he yawns soon after, and you know fatigue when you see it.

"You guys can leave, it's cool. Get some rest, it is pretty late."

Bang Chan, ever the leader. Jisung rises, moving to get his bag, but you put a hand on his shoulder.

"And I'm assuming you plan to stay here?"

Chan takes off his headphones, and you don't miss his wince at the ache of blood rushing back to his ears.

"Yeah, I have to finish this track. I won't be long."

You lean back on the couch, crossing your arms, and take in the situation. Jisung was eager to leave, eyes struggling to stay open, but he was obviously unwilling to leave Chan alone here.

Changbin was hyperfocused, still chasing a thread of inspiration that would ultimately lead him nowhere. You knew the feeling well, and it was easy to recognize.

He was most likely not going to leave until he finished the verse or fell asleep on the spot.

Or, unless you helped him relax.

Chan, however, was a completely different beast.

You'd worked with Chan before. While this was the first time with 3racha as a team, you often came to help Chan with lyrics or production, a fresh set of eyes when he got stuck.

You'd seen Chan like this. His eyes are bloodshot and drooping, blinking a bit too hard to be normal. His hands are shaking around the mouse, making the headphones clatter, and the more worrying part is that he doesn't even seem to notice.

"Okay," you clap your hands together, making Jisung jolt and Chan wince. You send them both an apologetic smile but carry on. "I don't think anyone's being productive right now."

Jisung shrugs, Changbin sighs, and Chan opens his mouth to protest.

"Nope, I'm hearing none of it, especially not from you. We are taking a break. I'm going to get water, and we're all going to think about things that aren't working for at least 20 minutes."

Chan still doesn't seem pleased, so you amend the statement. "It's that, or we

all

finish up work for tonight and go home to sleep. Those are the choices, pick one."

"There's water in the mini-fridge," Jisung adds, helpful, and you smile at him even as Chan glares.

Changbin seems hesitant, but he hands over the notebook when you hold out your hand for it.

Jisung's already put his phone and headphones away, so you move on to Chan.

He looks pissed.

"Noona, I really don't think this is necessary."

You just smile, "Ah, but that's the thing! It's not your decision to make. I know, it's a hard pill to swallow for you."

The tease was a little uncalled for, but it did get on your nerves sometimes. You didn't care when he did it for Changbin and Jisung, but when he directed his orders at you, it made you want to slap him in the face. Only a little, but still.

Chan scoffs, straightening up in the seat, squaring his shoulders.

"I'm not a child, I think I can figure out when I need a break or not."

You glare right back at him, "Your hands are shaking, Chan. When was the last time you had water or looked at something other than a screen?"

Chan opens his mouth and closes it again, and you can practically see him do the math in his head.

"Six hours," you inform him, taking his headphones and replacing them with a cool water bottle.

Jisung gives Changbin a bottle and Chan breaks with a sigh, untwisting the cap and drinking. You're handing him another bottle the moment he finishes it, and some of the tense energy seems to drain from the room.

"Good. 20 minutes starts now."

…-…-…-…-…-…-…

20 minutes did not work.

Chan lasts all of 5 minutes before he starts getting restless, rolling around in his chair and sighing dramatically as if you're going to give him attention if he does it loud enough.

At least Jisung and Changbin are well-behaved. They're curled up next to each other watching some nature documentary, one they offered to watch with Chan as well, but he refused.

"Chan, stop sighing like a princess trapped in a tower. What's your problem?"

Chan looks up, caught red-handed, and you just raise an eyebrow.

"I feel better now. Can I please work? I have an idea."

"Write it down. I'm not giving the headphones back for another 15 minutes, so you're shit out of luck there."

Maybe you were being mean, overstepping a boundary or something, but Chan doesn't blow up at you. Instead, he pulls out a pad of sticky notes and obeys, writing something out and stocking it onto the screen of his monitor.

"Good job. That wasn't hard, was it?"

You're just teasing, but Chan's eyes widen and his ears go pink. You have to break through the wave of 'that's adorable' that floods your system to respond, but you're fairly certain it doesn't show on your face.

Your tiny tiny crush on Bang Chan, (and Changbin and Jisung, for that matter) was irrelevant right now. He was probably blushing because you embarrassed him, because you just spoke to him like a dog.

Oops.

Instead of something annoyed, however, Chan just says, "Thank you." And turns around in the chair, playing something on his phone again.

... Huh.

Chan didn't seem angry, or annoyed, or even like he was going along with the teasing. He seemed sincere.

You feel eyes on the back of your neck and look back to see Changbin and Jisung watching the exchange. Changbin's giving you a knowing look, one far more suggestive than you'd expected to ever see from him.

Jisung's trying to hold back laughter, pressing his face against Changbin's shoulder.

"What?"

Jisung snickers, quickly progressing into full-bodied laughter, and Changbin can't help but join in.

Chan, however, is fuming, ears practically glowing red, though you can't tell if it's embarrassment or anger.

"Could you two not be insufferable for ten minutes?" He hisses, carefully avoiding your gaze.

"What? What's funny?"

"Nothing!"

"Chan's just being a sub."

"Changbin, for fucks sake!"

Chan looks just about ready to punch Changbin in the face, glaring and huffing, and this is the opposite of what you wanted.

"Alright, everyone relax, Jesus Christ."

Jisung and Changbin's laughter dies down and Chan looks more mortified than angry now, which was only a little better.

"Okay. I'm confused? Did I say something wrong?"

"No, noona, you didn't do anything. Chan's just being horny, that's all."

Oh. Oh.

Sometime in the last few minutes, Jisung has shifted from beside Changbin to on his lap, and Changbin's drawing little patterns on his stomach.

Oh.

You... You might have missed something important.

"I can... I can go? I don't- um, I'm not sure what you've all got um, between you so I think I'll just... Go. Yeah."

Now you're the one blushing, finally putting together all the pieces you'd just brushed off as them being close. The little glances, jokes you didn't understand...

You needed to leave. Now. Maybe then you'd keep some of your dignity and not look like a complete idiot, or worse, a creep.

"Noo, noona!" Jisung whines, sitting up a little to reach for you. He looks small like this, wrapped in Changbin's arms, which is just the weirdest fucking thought, oh my god.

"None of you know how to explain things," he huffs, glaring at Chan, who's now got his face hidden in his hands.

"Okay, listen. It's not weird, yeah? If we thought it was we would have asked you to leave ages ago. But we didn't, so it's not weird." One of his hands gestures wildly as he speaks, the other one held securely in Changbin's grasp.

"Chan isn't weirded out by you either. He's embarrassed because what you said turned him on, and that was funny to us because we've had to listen to him pine over you for months."

Chan lets put a mortified groan, and you sit back down.

"You're the worst friends ever, for the record. Fucking horrible."

"You're the one who got all hot and bothered over a little praise, that's not our fault."

Chan looks up and you think he's actually going to punch Changbin or something, but he catches your eye and stops in his tracks.

You just stare at each other for a while, time slowing to a stop as you take in his expression. He's embarrassed, sure, cheeks almost glowing with heat, but there's also something bright in his eyes, like anticipation or hope.

"What do you want me to do about that?"

You ask, voice barely above a whisper. Chan gasps, his grip tightening on the armrest. "I- what? You don't have to- I'm sorry, this is so weird, you don't have to do anything!"

Why was that so

cute? Chan's words should be making you feel even more awkward, maybe even annoyed by his evasiveness, but you can't help the endeared smile on your face as he rambles out apologies and excuses.

Your voice is more of a purr when you speak next, cutting off another apology. "That's not what I asked, Chan. What do you want me to do to you?"

He literally whimpers, covering his face with a hand and pulling one of his legs up to his chest.

"Damn, noona. You're good at this."

You have an idea.

It was probably stupid, and might get you kicked out for real, but you're already here, it can't get much weirder.

"Hey," you start, turning away from Chan for the time being to address Changbin and Jisung.

"Has it just been Chan pining over me, or you two as well?"

Changbin seems startled by the question, cheeks flushing, but Jisung grins. "Yeah. We fuck a lot, you know, and we'd always fantasize about if you were there, telling us what to do."

You blink at them, waiting for the outraged protests, but they never come. Changbin's pretending to watch the documentary again, cheeks pink, and Jisung looks somewhat annoyed rather than embarrassed.

"Huh. Then, are you both okay with doing that now? I have an idea."

Jisung jumps off of Changbin's lap, moving to stand in front of you like an obedient dog.

Changbin puts down his phone and nods, his previous cocky attitude gone as if it had never been there.

"Good. And Chan? Are you okay with this? You can call it off at any time, any of you can."

He looks up, confused at first at being addressed, but he nods after a second.

"Okay. Let's use stoplight safe words, yeah? Green for good, yellow to slow down and talk, and red to stop." Jisung bounces on his heels, impatient and growing more so by the second, so you decide to hurry along.

"Chan, get up for a second."

He blinks at you, confused, but eventually his brain catches up and he stands, stepping toward you.

"Come sit on my lap, honey."

You take Chan's spot, patting your spread thighs for him to settle down on.

"What? But- I'm... I'm heavy." His voice is small, confused and scared, and you can't help but coo at him. "Shh, honey. Just follow directions, I'll worry about everything else."

Something melts in Chan's expression, and after a moment of hesitation, he walks back over, slowly lowering himself on your lap. He doesn't fully sit, hovering above you on his knees, so you hold his hips and guide him down.

He gasps at the contact, face somehow getting redder, and he looks away.

"God, you're so pretty when you blush like that."

He immediately goes to deny it, but you just shush him.

"Let's lay down a couple ground rules, yeah?" You direct it at Changbin and Jisung as well, who jump to attention.

"Number 1, none of you can touch yourselves or each other without permission." Jisung pouts but doesn't protest, so you continue.

"Number 2, if I tell you to do something, you do it. If I say you are something, like pretty, or cute, you just accept it and don't deny or protest."

Chan looks back at you, outraged, but you level him with a warning look. "These are in effect now, unless someone has an issue with them."

He opens and closes his mouth a few times, eventually sighing deeply and looking away again.

"Number 3, I want to hear every little sound you make. Every gasp, every moan, every

scream.

I'm taking full advantage of this room being soundproof. If I catch you muffling your noises, I'll stop touching you. Understand?"

Changbin curses under his breath, and you smile.

"Okay. I might add rules later on if I deem it necessary, but that's all for right now. Any questions?"

"What should we call you? Noona, or something else, like mommy?"

You think the question over for a moment, imagining how the boys might say both names, around moans or through tears.

"Either one. Mommy or noona, nothing else."

Changbin raises his head, a challenge in his tone. "And what if we don't? Will you punish us?"

There's a tease in his voice, something condescending and rude, but you just smile at him.

"If you want to go ahead and find out, be my guest. It'll be Jisung giving you your punishment until I finish up with Chan here, so I suggest you get it out of your system now, before my hands are free."

He curses again, louder this time, and you blow him a kiss.

"Alright. Let's get started, then."

You take Chan by the hips again and pull him closer, chest to chest, and ignore his yelp.

"You two, get on the floor by my feet and start getting each other off. Do whatever you need, but you're not allowed to take clothes off, and you need to ask me if you want to cum."

They jump on the opportunity, Jisung practically pulling Changbin down to the floor with him and into a kiss.

Sloppy moans and sighs quickly fill the room, so you turn your attention back on Chan. His dick is pressed right against your stomach, so close you can feel it twitch.

"Can I kiss you, honey?"

Chan nods, tongue darting out to lick his lips. You hold his jaw as you lean in, keeping him still as you press your lips to his.

He reciprocates as much as he can with his jaw held so tight, little gasps and sighs escaping every so often as you deepen the kiss, guiding his lips apart and sucking his tongue into your mouth, mapping out every inch of the wet space.

When you finally pull away Chan looks wrecked, tongue hanging out of his mouth for a few seconds, like he'd forgotten what to do with it without you there to guide him.

Fuck, this was going to be

fun.

If Chan got this overwhelmed from just a kiss, you can't wait to see what happens when you actually touch him.

"Fuck, hyung, you're so hot. Noona, you're making him such a slut already." Changbin moans, fingers tangled in Jisung's hair while they grind on each other, both turned so they can see what you're doing to Chan.

"I'm not a slut!" Chan snaps, ducking his head into your shoulder, and you can't help but laugh.

"But you are, Channie." Changbin's voice is low, almost a growl, only getting deeper every time Jisung rolls his hips. "Such, fuck, such a little whore." Jisung adds, far less coherent than Changbin seems to be.

"All noona did was kiss you and you're already shaking. Is he hard, noona?"

Chan's whining against your shoulder, shaking his head every so often. "N-no, I'm not a whore!" He says, voice shaking, and worry floods your system. "Chan, color?"

He gasps, choking back a sob, "Green. I'm green, I like it, just- it's a lot."

You nod, securing an arm around his waist as your other hand combs through his hair, gentle and grounding. You stay like that for a moment, letting him breathe, and once he doesn't seem on the verge of tears anymore, you tighten your grip on his hair and pull his head up.

"Tell them, honey. Are you hard from just a kiss?" Tears spring to his eyes again but you can tell it's from embarrassment this time as he raises a hand to cover his face. "Yes. I'm- fuck, I'm so fucking hard."

Changbin groans and Jisung lets out a delicious little whimper.

"Good boy. You're so good for me." You praise, sliding both hands down to his hips. You squeeze, gently at first and then harder, making sure he can feel your nails digging into his skin. "Mommy, fuck!" He hisses, back arching, trying to press further into your hands.

There's something about the way he says

mommy, desperate and shaky, like the word is unfamiliar to his jaw but forces itself out anyway, purely out of wanting to please you. You can't help but groan, using your grip on his hips to grind him against you.

Chan gasps, grabbing at your arm as you repeat the motion, rolling your hips up to meet him.

"Jesus Christ, Jisung,

fuck-"

You glance up, just in time to watch Changbin toss his head back, falling back on his elbows as Jisung grinds on him, both hands pinching at his nipples.

He shaking, gasping for air, and you can see his thighs tensing, see the euphoria slowly spreading across his face.

"Jisung, stop right now."

Your voice is sharp, and Jisung stops, more out of being startled than actually wanting to obey.

Changbin whines, reaching for Jisung's hips to make him move again, but you snap your fingers.

He pauses, staring at you with a mixture of frustration and annoyance.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you. What did I tell you to do if you're about to cum?"

Jisung climbs completely off of him, trying to hide the smile on his face.

"Fucking- stupid fucking rule-"

He cuts himself off on a groan, too embarrassed to touch himself with you staring him down like this but almost frustrated enough to do it anyway.

You heave a deep sigh and kiss Chan again, tapping his thigh once to signal him to get up.

He does, even if you need to steady him a bit.

"I hadn't even started with Chan yet, so you get to have

me give your punishment."

Changbin sits up, sensing the dangerous edge in your voice. It's intoxicating, seeing the fear and excitement in his eyes, knowing that you're the reason for it.

"And because you interrupted Chan's turn with your disobedience, you'll get him off while I punish you."

Changbin's breath hitches, and you smile.

You end up sitting on the couch with him over your knee, pants and boxers pulled down to his ankles while you rub small circles against the skin, just to see him squirm.

Jisung kneels in front of you, kissing and biting at his thighs, scratching his nails against the soft skin. He was excited when you asked him to help punish Changbin, but if you were reading Jisung right he wouldn't be well behaved for very long.

That was fine, though; You liked a challenge.

Chan's sitting next to you, petting Changbin's hair as he waits for your cue to start fucking his mouth.

"I'm going to spank you until you can make Chan cum."

Changbin perks up, glancing at Chan's dick by his face with anticipation.

"But, Chan will be fucking your mouth. You'll go at whatever pace he wants, or whatever pace I tell him to go at. Do you understand?"

Changbin noticeably deflates, swallowing hard. He'd underestimated your intensity, but you'd make sure to correct that mistake.

He nods, small, more of a shift really, and you smack his thigh. He jumps, snapping his head back to look at you, outraged. "Verbal answers, Changbin. Do you understand?"

"Fuck, yes! Jesus Christ."

You can't help but roll your eyes, grabbing him by the hair to guide him onto Chan's cock.

"Such a mouth on you, Jesus. Let's hope you're just as good at giving head as you are at mouthing off."

"He is," Chan whispers, eyes already closed as Changbin sinks onto his cock, hands scrabbling for purchase on the couch.

"Grab his hair, guide him. Just take what you want, baby, use him like a toy."

Changbin whines, thighs pressing together, and Jisung laughs, prying them back apart.

He slides between them, lazily jerking his cock while he sucks another hickey into his hip.

"Oh, do you like that?" You dig your fingernails into Changbin's ass, smiling when he jolts. "Do you like the idea of Chan using you like a toy? Having him fuck your mouth like you're just a Fleshlight, nothing more?"

"Fuck- god that's hot, shit." Chan groans, guiding Changbin's mouth in slow, deep thrusts.

His eyes are glued to Changbin's face, refusing to leave even when you lean over to kiss his neck.

"Binnie here's got a thing for being treated like an object," Jisung says, ever the helpful one, and you reach over to run a hand through his hair as a reward.

"Once, I used him as a footrest while I wrote lyrics. He was so hard afterward, all I had to do was pinch his nipples before he came."

Changbin groans, kicking Jisung with surprising force, and you wind your hand back and bring it down on his ass with a sharp

smack.

He gasps hard enough that Chan lets him up to breathe, stilted moans and whimpers at the leftover pain.

"Plus, he's got the pain tolerance of an ant."

You smack him again, a little lighter this time, but he still flinches away.

"You're so helpful, Jisung. Thank you, honey."

Changbin scoffs, glaring back at Jisung. "Kiss ass."

Another smack and all traces of smugness leave him, replaced by pain and pleasure.

"You talk so

much.

Get back to doing what you're good for, bitch."

Chan helps him back onto his dick, moving faster this time, and you make a little game of matching your slaps to the soft noises he makes.

He's sobbing after a few minutes, nails digging crescent-shaped bruises into Chan's thighs as his pace picks up again, now fully fucking his mouth. Chan's head is thrown back, one of his legs pulled up onto the couch for more leverage to thrust his hips back into Changbin's mouth.

Jisung joins in, smacking Changbin's thighs, right over every hickey and bruise.

Changbin gargles something, sounding urgent, and you pull his head off of Chan's dick.

"Gonna cum!" He shouts, tongue rolling out to still lick Chan's cock even with your hand in his hair.

Jisung grins, somewhat feral, and he leans in and

bites Changbin's hip, hard.

"Oh my god, oh my god- Fuck!"

"Don't you dare cum without permission, slut. Make Chan cum first, can't you do the one thing I asked?"

Changbin starts again with renewed fervor, licking and sucking while Chan gasps and moans above him, startled by the sudden change in enthusiasm.

"Oh my god-" He gasps, tossing his head back against the couch, and you can't resist pulling him into a kiss.

He tastes like sweat and heat as he moans against your mouth, high and desperate. You can't focus enough to keep spanking Changbin so Jisung takes over for you, whispering things in his ear and biting anywhere he can reach.

You don't pay him any mind, too preoccupied with Chan, with his masterful tongue even as he comes undone. "Please, mommy, I'm close," he pants, lips brushing against yours as he speaks and you don't want to pull away to give him permission, so you just kiss him harder, intense and

hot, and Chan seems to take the hint.

He groans, hips bucking up and shoving his dick deeper into Changbin's mouth, making him gag and moan around it. Chan pulls him off then, letting his head rest on his thigh while he rides it out. You reach for chan's dick, sliding your hand over it even as Chan whimpers from the overstimulation.

"So fucking hot. Did you swallow, Binnie?" You turn to him, hips still grinding into nothing, mouth sealed shut.

Jisung moves to whisper into Changbin's ear, "Go on, show her. Show noona what you like to do with Chan's cum."

Changbin leans up on shaking arms and kisses Chan, wet and sloppy, and oh.

Changbin didn't swallow, he held chan's cum in his mouth, and now he's kissing Chan with it.

Chan whines into the kiss, lapping up the cum from Changbin's tongue like a puppy, even making sure to lick up the excess that escapes their kiss.

"Holy fucking shit." You whisper, entranced, and Jisung climbs onto the couch next to you.

You don't pay him any attention as he starts pulling your clothes off, still too focused on Changbin and Chan, who've now started grinding down against each other. It's too good of a show to chastise them for it, and you suppose they both earned the reward.

Jisung bites your shoulder,

hard,

And you yelp. "Hey! You've ignored me this entire time, noona. I've been patient, I even helped! They'll entertain each other, please, I want you to touch me."

And just like that, your attention couldn't be further from the kissing pair next to you.

Jisung is flushed and pouting, annoyance bright in his eyes, and you can't help but feel a little guilty. That's alright, you'd make it up to him.

"Oh, you poor little thing," You push him back against the couch and straddle his hips, dragging your wetness over his aching dick. You're not sure when he got naked, probably before he undressed you, but you were too preoccupied to notice either action.

Now, though, it was hard to focus on anything other than your nakedness, how the warm air makes your nipples ache, and how perfect Jisung's dick feels against your cunt. He's not the biggest, smaller than Chan but a little bigger than Changbin, and suddenly your hit with the image of the three of them, lining their dicks up and checking which one was biggest.

Chan won for biggest, but you had to admit that Jisung's looked absolutely delectable. It curved upwards towards his belly button, decently thick and veiny, and you can't decide if you want it in your mouth or your cunt more.

Jisung reaches for your hips, not guiding your motions but supporting them, just looking for something to hold on to while you're taking him apart.

"Shit, please. I'm not gonna last long to begin with, please, I need you, noona."

You smile, bracing a hand on his chest to get more leverage to grind on him, "Aw, what an easy little pet you are. Are you gonna cum just from me grinding my pussy against you? Is that all it's gonna take?"

He gasps, turning his head away to try and hide his face in the couch cushions.

He's so pretty like this, cheeks a pretty pink, and you can tell your moans are getting to him. He's twitching against you, pulsing, and you're sure that you could feel his heartbeat if you focused enough. "Please, noona- I'm not gonna last, please!"

"So pathetic, I can't even fuck you properly without you cumming on the spot. Fine, cum, I'll just fuck you through it."

You finally reach for his dick and line it up with your pussy, sinking down in one smooth movement.

Shit.

You can't even tease him like this, entire body so insanely sensitive that you have to take a breather. It was easy to ignore the way you soaked through your panties while watching them, always more focused on dominating, but now, finally being stimulated after what must have been an hour now, it's overwhelming.

"You're so tight, oh my god-"

Jisung looks like he's just seen God, head thrown back and hips twitching, just begging you to move.

Some of the teasing spirit returns to you as you slowly start to ride him, long, deep strokes keeping you both on the edge.

"Fuck, so good. And to think, I'll only get it for a second because you'll cum so soon. Really a shame."

Jisung shakes his head even as you feel him twitch inside of you, watching his abs tense with the force of his upcoming release.

"Don't deny it, slut. You're going to cum, I can feel it. Do it, I want to feel it fill me up, I want to watch you whine when I fuck you through it."

Jisung moans, back arching, and his hips snap up once, twice, and-

You don't do this enough, you decide as Jisung cums inside you, sobbing and loud, holding onto your hips for dear life.

"Good boy." You keep riding him, shuddering at the wet slide and the absolutely obscene noises it makes.

"Fuck, look. Chan, Binnie, come look." You lean over Jisung, caging in his head with your arms. He takes the opportunity to pull one of your nipples into his mouth, which is not helping your attempts at being coherent. Changbin squeezes your ass, spreading your cheeks to get a better view of where your pussy takes in Jisung's cock.

"Can I touch, mommy?"

You can almost feel Chan vibrating with energy behind you, but your voice is so shot you can't do anything but nod.

He leans over your back and kisses your neck, almost reverent in his touch, and you feel that familiar curl in the pit of your gut.

The wet slide of Jisung's dick inside of you, his desperate moans directly in your ear, Changbin kneading your ass, and chan's lips on your neck, it's all too much to handle.

You feel a scream building in your throat and muffle it by pressing your lips against Jisung's, speeding up and swallowing down every whine he lets out.

Changbin snakes an arm around your hip and draws tight circles around your clit and you're done for, thighs clamping down around Jisung's hips and sinking fully onto him, scratching at his shoulders for something to hold on to.

When the world stops spinning you sit up, rising up off of Jisung and back into Chan's arms. He cuddles up against you while Changbin helps Jisung up, and you notice the wet spot underneath him.

"Oops. Sorry about your couch, Chan."

He just shrugs, burrowing deeper into your shoulder, and you hold him tighter. "This has to happen again. Immediately."

Changbin muses, the most lucid of them, already cleaning Jisung up a bit with a towel.

"Give me like 3 days to remember how my legs work and then I'm down," Jisung says, words still slurring together.

"I give it 48 hours, tops, before he's sending you nudes." Changbin smiles, approaching you with a fresh towel. You let him clean you up, unsticking from Chan for a moment. His touch is gentle and grounding, and you definitely feel less sticky when he's finished.

"Thank you, honey. You've got this aftercare thing down, huh?"

You can't help kissing his cheek before he turns to Chan, smiling at the way he flushes pink.

"I do it a lot. These two turn into liquid after they cum, so I usually do it."

You just hum, standing up to retrieve a towel of your own.

Chan manages to get Changbin into his lap while he cleans him up, so you take the opportunity.

He jumps when you start kissing down his back, but he doesn't stop you.

Chan does whine a little when you have to turn Changbin around, but he's quickly sated with a kiss.

Changbin looks confused as you clean up the sweat and cum off of him, but you pause when you see that he's still hard. He notices the moment you do, turning his head to the side and hiding his face with a hand.

"Did you not cum?" You ask, massaging one of his thighs, and he shakes his head, just a little.

"I got distracted by Chan, I wanted to make him cum, and then you were fucking Jisung and I sort of... Forgot?"

You put down the towel and sink down to your knees, smiling up at Changbin's blushing face.

"Well, that just won't do, will it? I didn't edge you that hard just to not see your face when you cum."

He looks down at you, startled, and you just smile, licking a long stripe up the length of his dick. He gasps, head falling back, and you can't help but laugh a little.

"You- you really don't have to, I'm okay." You smack his thigh, smiling again when he winces.

"Binnie, you earned this," you whisper, pulling one of his thighs up and over your shoulder.

"You took your punishment so well, and you took such good care of Chan and Jisung for me. You've earned a good, hard orgasm, and I'm going to make sure you get it."

"Really, it's okay. You don't have to worry about me. I've gone without cumming before, I'll be fine."

"Changbin, I want to make you cum. Can I?"

There's something hesitant but hopeful in his eyes as he says,

"Okay."

His voice is timid and low, and you wrap your lips around his tip.

Changbin wasn't the biggest, but he made up for what he lacked in length with thickness. There's a distinct satisfaction with having him in your mouth, full, stretching your lips wide.

He breaks out in full-body shivers when you reach the base, hands fluttering around for a moment before he decides on putting them on his thighs, back arching with pleasure.

You trail a hand up to his chest, cupping one of his pecs just to hear him whimper.

His thighs are shaking, and you can tell he's trying not to fully pull you into him, you can tell he's holding back.

"What is it, Binnie? You're shaking like a leaf."

He turns away, caught red-handed.

"I- it's nothing, I'm sorry."

That's bullshit and you both know it, so you turn your head to press kisses against his thigh.

"Tell me, honey. I just want to make you feel good."

The muscle jumps under your lips, still on edge, and you soothe him with a soft squeeze.

"I... It's- it's embarrassing." Changbin's face is fully buried in his hands now, bright red, and you hold back a smile to make sure he doesn't feel mocked.

"I think at this point we can get past a little embarrassment, yeah? I mean, your dick was just in my mouth."

He nods and takes a deep breath, finally peeking an eye out to look at you.

"You... Um, can you... Could you humiliate me?" His words are barely above a squeak but you can still understand him, and you smile.

"Of course, honey. But I was doing that earlier, and you didn't get like this about it. What else do you want me to do?"

He pulls one of his legs up to his chest and hides against it before he answers. "Can you, like... Call me girly things? I mean, like- treat me like a girl? I know it's weird, I'm so sorry!"

You coax his leg back down and rise up to meet him on the couch, keeping his thigh over your shoulder so he ends up almost bent in half. He yelps at the new position but you don't pay him any mind, instead leaning down to whisper in his ear.

"Ah. You want me to treat you like a little whore, huh? A slutty little girl?"

The reaction is immediate and oh so satisfying. Changbin gasps and his cock twitches against your leg, eyes sliding shut.

"Y-yeah..." His voice is barely more than a whine, shaky and soft, begging for something you're all too willing to give.

"Does my baby girl want mommy to touch her nipples?"

Changbin shudders, eyes slipping closed, and he can only manage a nod.

"Use your words, slut. Tell me, tell me how much you want it."

"Please," he whines, barely audible, reaching for your shoulder.

"Please what? I can't read your mind."

He huffs, frustrated, and you just smile at him while he works out what to say.

"Please touch my nipples, mommy. Please, I need it."

You lean down and wrap your lips around one of them, pinching the other, and Changbin

sobs.

"Mommy!" He gasps, burying a hand in your hair while you bite and suck, making his back arch and hips buck with every flick of your tongue.

"God, I love how you sound. Keep moaning like that for mommy, okay?"

You can see tears in Changbin's eyes as he nods, mouth opening around another desperate whine.

Changbin's writhing by the time you finally pull away from his nipple, lips bitten red and cheeks flushed.

"You're so pretty like this, all flushed and desperate for me."

You wrap a hand around his cock, rubbing circles on the tip, and he practically chokes on a moan. "Mommy please, please make me cum, I need it," you muffle his begging with your mouth, digging your nails into his thigh while you jerk him off, swallowing up his desperate moans.

He throws his head back after a moment, chest heaving with effort, and you pull back to look at him properly.

He's flushed pink from head to toe, legs shaking, hips bucking up into your hand with what little leverage they have. He's

loud, louder than he ever was before, whining and moaning at anything you do, even if it's just a heated look.

He's desperate for you, and the feeling is almost enough to drive you insane.

"Is my little girl going to cum? Do you want to cum for mommy?"

Changbin sobs, loud and needy, voice shaking, "please, please let me cum, mommy!"

"I'm going to count down from 3, okay? When I get to 1, you can cum."

Changbin whimpers but nods, eager to please you, to follow orders.

"Three,"

You speed up your strokes, leaning over to bite hickeys into his neck and shoulders.

"Two,"

Changbin sobs, scratching bright red lines into your back as he braces himself, that heat threatening to explode.

"One."

Changbin wails, thrashing like a wild animal as cum coats your fingers, sobbing and shivering as you stroke him through it.

Gently, you take his leg off of your shoulder and place it back down, retrieving a towel to clean you both up.

He's still jittery when you finish, shaking with aftershocks every so often, and you smile as you snuggle up beside him, pulling him up against your chest.

Jisung had long since fallen asleep, not even stirring with how loud Changbin was, but Chan was still awake, so he snuggles in closer to you as well.

"Thank you."

"What for?" You reach up to run a hand through his hair, resting your head on his shoulder.

"All of this. Helping us relax." You raise an eyebrow and he laughs, sheepish, "Alright, helping

me relax. It means a lot."

Chan's voice is soft, even a bit nervous, and it makes your heart rate spike a little even with how tired you were. "Of course. This was really good, 10 out of 10."

He snorts, but there's still something distant in his eyes.

"Alright, what is it?"

Chan breaks almost immediately, "Okay, just- you don't have to."

"Respectfully, you couldn't force me to do anything."

"Right. Well, all I'm saying is that I get like that... Decently often. And this... This helped. Not even just the sex, you telling me to relax and making me do it. It took away the internal stuff of thinking I should be doing more, because I can't. It's just... It's nice. So, if you're up for it, could we do this again? Or even regularly, if you want?"

Instead of an answer, you reach up and press your lips together.

"Stupid Channie," you smile against his lips, "As if someone could deny you three?"

[sha-n-dowbannedlol]

To say that you aren't used to being away from your daughter, Jolyne, for long periods of time would be the biggest understatement that ever slipped past your lips.

It's not that you didn't trust your husband, Jotaro, to care for your daughter—you do trust him, more than anyone, in fact. But still, Jolyne is your baby girl, your only daughter, and you hadn't been away from her for such an extended period of time ever since she was born.

You had to be out of the country for two weeks on a business trip, which lead to Jolyne being left in Jotaro's care during the time you were away. Despite conversing with your husband over the phone every night and his constant assurances that your Jolyne is doing well, you still can't help but still feel antsy.

Which is why you came home as soon as you possibly could—three days earlier than your supposed return.

Neither Jotaro nor Jolyne knew about this when you spoke to them over the phone before leaving to catch your flight, and by the time you landed, it was already past midnight; they must already be asleep so you didn't bother calling them.

It would be a pleasant surprise for Jotaro tonight and for Jolyne tomorrow morning too.

You thanked your company's driver for dropping you off at your home and for helping with your luggage before bidding him farewell and a good night before you face the door to your home. It was the first time in the past week and a half that you truly felt relief, as you know that when you open this door, you'll finally be able to see Jolyne again.

Oh, and your husband too, of course.

As you expected, the house was dark the moment you stepped in, to your surprise, however, you can hear familiar muffled giggles coming from the second floor which made your brow raise.

What is Jolyne doing up this late?

After silently closing the door behind you, you decided to leave your luggage at the entrance of your home for a moment so as to not alert your mischievous daughter of your arrival. Had she pretended to fall asleep again?

She did that once when she was five years old, pretended to fall asleep while you were tucking her in and you and Jotaro ended up waking at 3 AM after hearing a glass breaking in the kitchen, thinking someone might have broken in—only to find your daughter in the verge of tears, looking at the shattered cookie jar on the kitchen floor.

You went through the house and up the stairs as silently as you possibly could, and there in the dark hallway, the only source of light is coming from the bathroom with the door left open. Furrowing your brows in confusion and your lips pulling down to a frown, you approach the bathroom, hearing Jolyne's giggles grow louder with every step you take.

In all honesty, you didn't know what you expected to see—but definitely not this.

Your daughter, Jolyne, sat on the sink with the widest grin on her face, her bangs wrapped in foils in sections and resting on her forehead, her eyes looking up to her father who was standing in front of her, a section of Jolyne's hair placed on a foil in his hand, his tongue sticking out of the side of his lips as he focused intently on what he was doing, his other hand holding a dye brush.

A smile breaks out on your features as you cross your arms and lean on the doorway, admiring the scene before you. Your husband was so hyperfocused on dyeing your daughter's hair that he hadn't even noticed your presence.

You watch silently as Jotaro wrapped the section he was dyeing in foil, allowing it to rest on Jolyne's forehead before taking a step back. A slight, proud smirk plastered on his lips at Jolyne's excited grin.

Now that you thought about it, you shouldn't have been surprised to come home to this as you remember hearing Jotaro watching hair dye tutorial videos a few nights ago when he called you. You asked him then what he was watching them for but he only shrugged off your question by changing the topic and pausing the video (or maybe he just lowered the volume? either way, you couldn't hear the voice of the instructor anymore)

"Mama!"

The excited voice of your daughter brought you back to the present, to see her index finger pointed at you and her sea-green eyes looking in your direction with stars in them, excitement radiating off her figure despite how late it was. At this, Jotaro turns his head to look at you, surprised aquamarine gaze meeting yours as he takes a moment to register that you're actually here, that his wife is home.

"Hello, what's going on here?" You took this moment to finally step forward and approach them, smiling over at Jolyne who didn't waste any time wrapping her arms around your torso and burying her head on your chest only for her Dad to scold her and remind her to be careful of her bangs.

After letting out a 'good grief' under his breath after Jolyne blatantly ignored him, you wrap your arms around your daughter as your husband focuses his attention on you.

"You didn't tell me you'd be home today," His voice has taken that uncharacteristically soft tone that he only ever uses on you and Jolyne when either of you had a bad day, but it still held a bit of an accusing tone which allowed you to know what he was truly trying to tell you.

"Ah, it was quite unexpected too," You replied, a tired smile stretching your lips, "And I thought you were already asleep, didn't want to bother you."

"Give me a break. We've been together for a decade," he reminds you, a frown on his face, "You really think picking you up from the airport would be a bother?"

You gave him a sheepish smile, and before you could respond, you were cut off by the sound of your daughter calling your attention. She has now pulled away from your embrace, her fingers excitedly pointing towards her bangs still wrapped in foil.

"Look, look, Mama! Papa dyed my hair!" She informs you, her feet kicking in the air in delight.

"Ah, I bet you'd look very pretty, JoJo!"

"You should dye your hair with me too, Mama! Then we'll be pretty together!"

"That's a great idea!" You happily agreed. In all honesty, your mind was too tired to actually process what she was saying. But the giddiness your daughter felt from your words was enough to make you feel like you said the right thing.

"See, Mama agreed to dye her hair!" Jolyne then turns to her father, this time her brows are turned down as she glares at the man, "Now you absolutely have to dye your hair with us too!"

"No,"

Leave it to Jotaro to be cold-hearted and straight to the point, even with his own daughter.

A gasp left Jolyne at the blatant rejection she received, her eyes now watering and lips quivering.

"Please, Papa, please!" The little girl pleaded, looking up at him with puppy dog eyes and lips puckered out into a pout, her hands clasped together. "Pleeease!!"

Jotaro sighs then, squeezing his eyes shut as he lets out his catchphrase in his native tongue under his breath. Who was he to say no to those eyes?

"Yare Yare Daze."

[the-official-account]

Episode 20 let's go babeyyy

Oh kits on the recap hello!!!! I spent thirty seconds like "did essay go on T?" HFKDGSKDGKSGZZ

And oh yeah it is worrying about Jack right now...I hope he's alright. I hadn't really thought about it that hard...

Hearing Jordan and ila go "mhm, mhm" in unison is so funny because as soon as I realized Jordan's (usually three times) "mhm"s are like, a thing, I was like yeah. There's no way that's not gonna become a vocal habit for me now. It's infectious!

Talking about the schematics are making me think of the "👀 I also don't know how you party agent vellum" scene and it's sending me all over again. And I will NEVER get over the third T taekwondo.

JDVLSGDKD IM THINKING OF THE TRIPLE THREAT IN A COWBOY AU WHERE THEY'RE COWBOY BOOTS—this is not an advanced thought, but vellum in cowboy boot would be SUCH a look.

OOOOOOF vellum is shattering my heart into a billion pieces right now I just...he deserves to have a family that makes him feel....familial!!!!!

Couples dance happening on the same day as grey's arrival is .......hmmmm the pieces are piecing together! They're piecing!

The harvest and feast for singles and couples is pretty cool. OF COURSE DIAMOND IS IN THE COUPLES SHOW LMAO

Crystallis being a name for morpholomew sympathizers

I AM THE RAINBOW THAT LURKS IN THE SHADOWS WHEEEEEZE

Ohhh so stone skin is in Crystallis

GOD these facts are so good today

FIRST MENTION OF THE NAME IOSWITCH CROWSWADDLE he doesn't.....he doesn't know cars exist 😂😂😂

Louie zong never fucking misses

THE FUCKING DNDADS HOLD MUSIC. something about that tune is like a cat making biscuits with my brain

If Tatiana...okay not Tatiana

"for bad reasons to do crimes probably" 10/10 investigator shit

THE RADIO CUTS OFF?

Spar just became a customer service agent.

WAIT HOLY SHIT.

WAIT HOLY SHIT

Ooooooooooooof. Oof. Fuck.

JUST HAD TO TAKE A QUICK BOMB THREAT

Vellum hyperfocusing just like me fr <3

T....T Felspar...........

THE WAY I GASPED!!!!! JAKUB IS BACK!!!! I LOVE HIM! AND HE'S A REPORTER!!!!!! GAHHHH special place in my heart!

Ohhhh my god this comic book ass situation is gonna have my whoooole heart, isn't it? Fuck.

The three genders. Man, person, other.

OH MY GOD THEY'RE GOING ON A DATE. Ipswitch completely forgot why he was here fjsjdvsodgsodg

SPAR AND VELLUM ARE HERE TOO IS THIS THE BIG MEET UP? WITH JAKUB HERE TOO?

Jakub! You're so forward! But oooh the obvious next step to the mysterious in-costume encounter.

AN EXPLOSION IN BEE BY THE SEA?

WHERE'S XBALA???

*Half of a building goes up in flames*

IC: Hmm...well there cutie pie! I've uhh. Gotta go shuffle some papers. Let's talk later, huh?

Jakub: 👁️👁️

Yeah the hotel is definitely a distraction, huh?

I love that ipswitch is gonna walk away from jakub, change behind a bush, and return to helping where Jakub is in a thin-ass disguise and I am SO pleased with this.

KNIGHTS ARMOR?

Oh my godddd these shenanigans are so good. The clovenheart vibes were also wonderful and the sense of the creeping past is a part of the slow I adore, but the urban comedy these episodes are becoming is SOOOO good also. This show is giving me everything. I am FEASTING. I am also nearing the lastest episodes, which does make me feel a little bit sad! But the anticipation of serial media is just as good as the binge, if to the left. Oh I'm so hyped.

@threeheartscast

[promithiae]

How I, a person with ADHD, manage to keep a vaguely tidy house

Let me first clarify that I recognize that I am very lucky to only be working 4 days a week, and having a 3 day weekend is a big part of why I can actually be somewhat consistent. I am very privileged to have a living situation where that is possible, and I know not everyone has that.

However, this was a pattern that started when I was working more hours and more days and none of my days off were clustered together and it sucked, but I still kind of sort of managed to keep it up most of the time.

Vaguely tidy is being generous.

Ok. Caveats done, let's get to it

First and foremost shoot the voice in your head that tells you it's all or nothing, the coach or the teacher or the parent or whoever you hear that says there's no point in doing a thing if you're going to half ass it. They don't know what the fuck they're taking about. Half assing is better than no assing.

Figure out what your bare minimum is. If you don't have the energy or focus or the executive sure is dysfunctioning, what do you absolutely have to get done on a weekly basis? They should be very, very bare bones and minimal. (For me, I have to get my laundry cleaned but not necessarily folded and put away and at least vacuuming the floors, if not mopping them. 2 items, that's it.)

Figure out the things that should be done every week. Accept that sometimes that list isn't getting completed. But like I said, that's better than nothing. It's ok, I promise. Do what you can, try to do more, but if you can't that's ok too.

Figure out a list of things that only need to be done on occasion, maybe once a month or every 6 weeks. Try to do 1 of these every week

Make a list of super detailed weird things for those days when you're hyperfocusing and you are absolutely in the mood to take a q-tip to the weird corners on the cupboard panels or shove a cloth on a stick under the stove to get all the trapped cat hair out.

Keep a detailed list of steps. I know that one of the things I have trouble with is getting overwhelmed because I don't know where to start. So I have a doc that has all the things I need to do, the steps that they involve and the order in which to do them. It's kind of a flow chart where the once a month things are added in. It's also very detailed because some days are just 14 steps to make coffee kind of days. Sit down with a freind or your mom or your favorite uncle and have them help you strategize if you need to. There's no shame in asking for help, I promise!

Pick a day of the week to be chore day. I've tried doing 15 minutes a day, I've tried doing 1 room a day, I've tried a lot of different things and none of them stuck except just making Sunday chore day. I think it's because my levels of energy and focus and executive function can be so variable that it's impossible to be that consistent on a day to day basis, but ymmv. Try different things, figure out what works for you.

Allow for the entire day to be chore day because we're building in distraction. When you finish a task go ahead and take a break. It can be 2 minutes or 2 hours, it doesn't matter so long as you have enough time to do the bare minimum list. Have a snack, dick around on tumblr, watch a movie, whatever. End your break whenever you feel like you're ready to do the next task. No one's timing you.

Getting overwhelmed? The other week I put a freind on videochat and she hung out with me while I cleaned. Mostly she played videogames while I was doing my thing, but we chatted here and there, and when I got overwhelmed I was able to ask her what I should do next and turned my computer to the scene and she gave me a direction to go. It was actually really nice to have company! And to have someone else make a decision for me, because that's where I get the most hung up. Like, give me a task and I will do the thing until I'm done, but ask me to come up with the tasks and steps for it? Hahahahahahhahaaaaaa oh no.

That's mostly what I've been doing for the past year and I've been pretty consistent. There are still many weeks I only do the bare minimum list, and there are still many weeks I don't get to all the things on my weekly list, but that's ok. Partial credit is good, too.

Now, if anyone has any strategies on remembering to put things away I am severely lacking there.

[trickstarbrave]

I love your takes on the elder scrolls universe!!

I’d welcome any ramblings on any of your ocs! Please? <3

OKAY sorry for ignoring this ask i have had a hell of a past few days. roommate was hospitalized (theyre okay now), got very high, hyperfocused so hard with autism i achieved new revelations, made a new blorbo a god, you know how it is

today i will be talking about: EYJA bc i love her and i'm thinking about godhood

idk if i'll have a chance to cover this in the fic. i probably will soon if i can slot it in there without being weird. but

eyja is not quite a god. she is immortal with great power but currently operates as an extension of alduin. the reason why is because she is simply not ready for divinity yet and because it would shatter reality. if you achieve godhood in an instance, then you have always existed and always will exist. history will be rewritten, a la what the tribunal did when they used the heart of lorkhan. so i classify her as a demi-god

will she in this timeline achieve divinity? it's possible. might result in a dragon break but i dont think alduin would mind at this point.

what is eyja's god form though...? hm. hard to tell. i do like preservation/creation as opposed to alduin's destruction. its so funny that as a being made from anu (stasis) alduin is a destructive force of change, an ending to all things so they may begin anew. isnt that interesting? maybe she can be the interplay of creation, nir's embodiment. def a dragon with connections to akatosh, but maybe a being that guards and watches time, the dragon tamer who soothes the madness of akatosh and loves the world eater. maybe then the ending of the world would not be feared, but instead looked at fondly as an expression of love and creation, beautiful like the sunset

if not, i think in the next kalpa she will definitively be a god in the new world, the other half of alduin