#hyperventilation

[thekingofcrochet]

In case anyone was wondering...

The Hyperventilation animation (23 minutes) is available on vimeo for $0.99. It's not downloadable but as long as it stays up you can watch it anytime after you buy it.

The Mignon animation (68 minutes) is no longer available on vimeo at this time which is a total bummer. I watched it most recently on aniwatchtv.to (but you can watch it wherever you can find it)

Both of these titles are MATURE as in 18+.

Side addendum: Indie queer stories and art depend on all sorts of consumers - buyers, (legal) sharers, readers & watchers. If you find something that you like and you can't buy it, tell others about it. If it's in your budget, buy it. If it's outside of your budget and you really want it, splurge (don't go bankrupt though).

[exolefirstclass]

Hyperventilation // Eruri AU

Ko-fi // Twitter // Instagram

[nori-kakyoin]

megan thee stallion wearing a bruno bucciarati inspired dress the the crunchyroll anime awards

[hold-him-down]

🚑 Rushed to the hospital

✥ The Hospital Arc - Part 1 ✥ 

Notes: ~ 18 months in, just a little introduction to a long awaited mini-arc.

Trigger Warnings: Med Whump, Panic Attacks, Hyperventilation, Medical Restraints, Needle Mention, Institutionalized Slavery

✥ ✥ ✥ 

It was supposed to be a simple enough task. Go to the grocery store. Get the things on the list. Go home and get back to his books and cook dinner and watch the sun set and, if it’s a very good day, once Luke gets home they can watch a movie in Luke’s bed and maybe Luke will hold him, even if just for a little bit.

But it’s not a simple task. Anxiety builds in Leo’s peripheries as he weaves through the aisles, hyper-aware of every person he encounters. It’s busier here than he’s comfortable with, and the noises and the lights and the narrow walkways put him on edge. He urges himself, not for the first time that day, to pull himself together.

Still, he selects items almost carelessly, checking off his mental list as quickly as he can. 

It’s because he’s moving too quickly, and he’s too jumpy, and everything is too much, that he makes the mistake. He rounds the corner to the cashier, and his cart nearly collides with someone else’s. He dodges it, issuing an anxious, “I’m sorry,” and tries to keep his head down.

He knows the moment that he sees the scrub bottoms, though, that he’s in trouble. Handler, his mind screams at him. He tries to quiet that voice.

He closes his eyes, taking a breath. Another. Another. The sounds of the store grow distorted, far away and warbly and almost silent against the ringing in his ears.

It’s just a doctor or a nurse. The hospital is nearby. It is not a handler. It’s just a doctor. Maybe it’s Rob. Maybe it’s Luke. It is not a handler. Rationally, Leo knows that the nearest site is over an hour away, and no handler would still be in their scrubs after their shift. Leo’s not thinking rationally, though. 

He struggles to pull in air as he forces his eyes open. 

The man is staring at him. Does he look angry? He’s speaking to him, he thinks, but he can’t make out the words.

I’m sorry, he tries to say again, but isn’t sure if the words come out.

He takes a step back, raising his hands in apology, and tries to draw in another breath. He’s hyperventilating. His fingers shake as he reaches toward his pocket. If he can call… if he can call Luke, Luke can explain. If he can get home, he has medicine in the pantry he can take, and he can… he can hide somewhere until Luke gets home and helps him. He can… he needs to get home, he tries to say. 

The man takes a step toward him, his hands up, mirroring Leo’s. Leo’s eyes dart around the store, but he processes none of what he sees. 

He can hear voices behind him, telling the man to back off, he thinks. 

“I’m sorry,” he chokes out. “I–” He wants to tell them he’s allowed to be here. That he’s under contract, and that Luke told him to come here. He wants to tell them not to touch him, that if they touch him right now, it’ll be so much worse. He wants to tell them he’s going to be sick. He wants to tell them he can’t breathe. 

But all that comes out is another apology, choked off with a sob.

He’s going to black out. He reaches for his wallet, for his phone, for anything. He grasps at whatever memories of Luke’s voice he can find, clutching onto the sound and the words with every piece of rational thought that he has left. 

From behind him, he feels hands on his shoulders, and almost instantly, he’s back in training. The handlers are shouting at him, the handlers are holding him down. He’s crying, he’s begging them to let him go. He’ll do better, he cries. He’s so, so, sorry. 

✥ ✥ ✥ 

There are hands on him when things come into focus. There are fingers pressing into his neck, there’s a mask over his mouth and nose. Breaths don’t come easily, but they come, chased by a burning pain. 

He feels a jolt, and forces his eyes open; he’s in an ambulance, he thinks. He reaches up to take off the mask, to tell the man who’s holding him that he’s okay, to beg him to call Luke and to tell him that Luke will help him. His hands won’t work, though. 

“It’s alright,” the man says. “Take it easy.” 

Do they know he’s a worker? Do they kn… do they know he’s under contract? He tries to ask them if they’re taking him back to a DLS site, but he can’t. He feels tears pooling in his eyes; he tries to lift his hands again, but canvas straps dig into his wrists at the movement.

He sobs, while a desperate plea that probably isn’t understandable to the man works its way out of his chest. The mask muffles the sound, and the man looks concerned, so Leo lets himself hope that maybe… maybe he’ll listen.

Focusing is difficult. Producing words is even harder. 

“Let him talk,” another EMT says, nodding.

The first, the man at his head, says, “Stay calm and breathe, okay? You’re gonna be alright.”

The man is obvious with his movements as his hand closes in on Leo’s face, and Leo shrinks into himself.  The moment he’s free from the mask, Leo immediately whispers, “I’m s-sorry,” broken by a kind of panicky gasping.

“It’s okay,” the man responds. Leo’s not unaware of how closely he’s watching him, “You’re not in any trouble. They’ll get everything sorted out at the hospital, you’ll be out of there in no time.”

“C-Can you call Luke?” He swallows, forcing as much air into his lungs as he can. It’s not enough. “B-Bennett,” he whispers. “He’s my… he holds my c-c-c-” His whole body is shaking, and the man puts the mask back over his mouth.

“Your contract,” the other EMT says. She squeezes his hand, eying the strap holding it in place. “They’ll call him as soon as you get checked out,” she continues. “There’s… protocol, we need to follow, with people in the system.”

Luke will come, he tries to tell them. More importantly, he tries to make himself believe it. The world is spotting, though. The handlers’ voices are back in his head. Every time his eyes close, images of restraints, of hands on him, of laughter, of his collar, of tubes and white coats and bright lights and scrubs and pain, force their way to the front.

He can’t quite parse out what’s real and what’s in his head, so he sucks in breath after breath, tears streaming in waves down his cheeks as two hands turn into four hands turn into so many hands, and he's too scared to open his eyes and he's too scared to speak and all he can think of, over and over, is that Luke will come for him. He just needs to be good, and Luke will come for him.

FIGHTER TAG LIST: @whump-cravings , @afabulousmrtake @crystalquartzwhump @maracujatangerine @pumpkin-spice-whump @distinctlywhumpthing @thecyrulik @highwaywhump @batfacedliar-yetagain @finder-of-rings @dont-touch-my-soup @skyhawkwolf @suspicious-whumping-egg @also-finder-of-rings @whump-for-all-and-all-for-whump @prodigal-zoe, @peachy-panic @melancholy-in-the-morning @urban-dark @nicolepascaline @quietly-by-myself @pigeonwhumps @whump-blog @seasaltandcopper @angstyaches @i-msonotcreative @mylifeisonthebookshelf @anonintrovert @whump-world @squishablesunbeam @considerablecolors @whumpcereal @whumperfully @pirefyrelight @whumpsday @whumplr-reader @lonesome--hunter @darkthingshappen

[tayasui-mono]

WHAT DO YOU MEAN HYPERVENTILATION AND MIGNON WERE MADE BY THE SAME PERSON AND ALSO WHEN ARE THEY RELEASING SOMETHING ELSE

[dedf1sh-is-missing]

(Oh boy, I do love me a panic attack)

(Finally, time to actually get the ball rolling story wise, am I right?)

[weirdstrangeandawful]

By the way, your fingers get numb and tingly when you have too little carbon dioxide in your blood even before reaching dangerous levels.

This happens to me when I overbreathe. My blood oxygen drops sometimes and I hyperventilate and often end up overcompensating and breathing off my carbon dioxide. This can also happen with panic attacks too. My body always figures itself out but just a tasty little whump nugget for your various I-want-to-cause-terrifying-but-benign-symptoms whump needs.

(It can be not benign if it gets to the point of respiratory alkalosis if you want to go that route too)

[theknucklehead]

Lime Chiffon hyperventilating in a paper bag.

At least we know where she gets it from.

Even her closet friend Bread Pudding is not immune to doing it.

[esunapesimaidea]

[picchan]

inspired by the absolutely mind blowing red and orange hues in this animated bl (I mean it’s Korean I can’t call it anime)

[rrain-writes]

@badthingshappenbingo: Shaking and Shivering

Characters: Twilight, The Chain, Ordon Village

Warnings: Hyperventilating, falling into ice

Twilight woke to someone jumping on him, and a young voice cheering excitedly.

"Link!" Colin said, grin across his face. The chain had ended up in Ordon village, much to Twilgiht's delight. They had only been there a day, but everyone had quickly settled and been introduced to his family.

"Link, it's snowing! An' the lake is frozen over!"

Twilight laughed as he sat up, rubbing sleep from his eyes. It was good to hear his brother’s voice again.

"Well, I guess we better get out there, huh?”

Colin nodded and jumped up, running out of the room. Meanwhile, people stirred around him. Wind was already awake, staring out the window with his eyes wide.

Twilight stood and scruffed his hair, but the sailor was too in awe to even bat the hand away. Twilight chuckled. “I forgot you’ve never seen snow before. Wanna come outside?”

Wind gasped in delight, promptly running over to where Hyrule, Wild and Four were.

“Come on!” He called to them, before disappearing through the door excitedly.

-

When everyone was wearing appropriate clothing, they gathered down by the lake. Beth and Colin were already there, sword fighting with hooked sticks.

“Uh, Twilight?” Hyrule asked. His eyes were drawn to Twilight’s shoes. “What are you wearing?”

Ilia had wandered over as Hyrule asked the question, and laughed. She was also sporting an odd pair of lace up shoes, that had thin blades attacthed to the soles. “They’re so you can slide on the ice.” She answered. “It’s for a game here in Ordon.”

Ilia offered another one of the hooked sticks she was holding to Twilight, who accepted it before turning to the chain. “Want a demonstration?”

-

The people of Ordon village had divded themselves into two teams, before gliding out onto the ice with their bladed shoes. Mayor Bo stood in the centre of the lake, dividing the teams, and he held a smallish round object.

Everyone tensed, and the Link’s all leant forward in anticipation, waiting to see how the game would go. Twilight and Ilia, who seemed to be the captains of each team, faced each other in the centre.

Then Mayor Bo dropped the disc.

Twilight and Ilia immedietly fought for control over it using their sticks, and Twilight emerged victorius. He hit it towards Colin, who took it and skated towards their makeshift goal. Colin hit the puck towards Twilight who sped along beside him, but it was intercepted by Uli, who turned around to go the other direction.

One thing the chain took notice of was the Twilight was fast. He slid along the ice with his bladed shoes as if he had been doing it his whole life (which he probably had), and quickly drew himself parallel to Uli. Rusl, who was standing at the goal, braced himself.

The game was going fine. Competetive and enjoyable, with everyone standing around the lake cheering on the players. Then a sharp crack echoed across the lake.

Twilgith let out a cry, arms flinging out as the ground underneath him dissapeared. The gap at his feet caught on his shoes, and the chain could only watch as their brother fell down.

-

Twilight skated forwards, inline with Uli who was heading towards her goal. Rusl stood in the goals, ready for her to shoot. Twilight went to snatch the puck away from his adoptive mother, when a loud crack caught his attention.

First there was the sickening realisation that the ice had broken. Then there was the intense feeling of COLD that engulfed him, taking over his body. Then there was what Rusl called the ‘cold shock response’, and he felt his lungs tighten, which caused him to gasp for air that wasn’t there.

The icy water that he inhaled only made him freeze up more, and he felt himsef begin to hyperventilate. ‘Don’t panic, control your breathing’ Uli would tell him. It was a shame his brain and body didn’t seem to want to listen to reason.

COLD. It screamed.

COLD.

COLD.

COLD.

He couldn’t feel anything.

AIR. It gasped.

AIR.

AIR.

AIR.

He couldn’t breathe.

Alarm bells went off in his head. He was going to drown, he was going to drown, he was going to-

‘If you fall into the ice, you have to stay calm.’

He knew that voice. His panicked brain might not be able to identify who it belonged to, but he knew he could trust it.

‘Find where you fell through and orientate yourself.’

There. There was the hole in the ice. Twilight forced his freezing limbs to move, andwith great difficulty, reached up and grabbed onto the edge of the solid ice above him.

‘Get into a horizontal position, and kick your legs. This will help you pull yourself onto the ice.’

He did. He kicked his legs, and hauled himself up, spluttering as he pulled his head above the water.

‘Don’t try to stand up. Roll yourself out of the water.’

With a shuddering gasp, Twilight rolled himself out, panting heavily. He didn’t remember much after that. Someone gently helping him back inside, someone fussing over him.

“Let’s get you warm, hey?”

That sounded good.

[talk-bookish-with-me]

So I read hyperventilation today and it has left me confused. Is he or is he not married? If not why is he wearing a wedding ring? If so why you giving your wedding ring to another man?

3/5 because I am confused

[radio-4-is-static]

ハイパーベンチレイション | RADWIMPS from BACK TO THE LIVE HOUSE TOUR 2023

[meowmeowneon-arts]

I want to die, not very but want 😭😭😭😭😭

[alen09blog]

過度呼吸

這和強烈的責任感、單純的善意、溫暖的同情心等抽限概念有關。同樣地，遺憾的原因與黑暗的人被耀眼的東西所吸引的心理，以及不成熟的人被堅強而完美的東西所吸引的感覺，還有在意想不到的瞬間迎面而來的微笑那樣單純的事物，它們的來源都是相同的（頁19）。 還沒整理好的感情就像是被抓住腳踝一樣糾纏著，沒什麼話要說卻總是想轉身過去大聲呼喊他的名字，真是件可笑的事。對於沒有勇氣的人來說，欲望本身就是一種痛苦，就像積滿水氣無法傾瀉而出的積雨雲一樣，李明艱難的邁開了潮溼的步伐（頁22）。 摘自J.Soori、뿡빵뀨《Hyperventilation》（과호흡）下（Racie譯）

究竟保全自己還是周全自己，孰輕孰重，何以衡量？那麼迷惘的行屍走肉，搖搖欲墜地，以活下去為目標的振作，踩著心碎散漫與麻木不仁的節拍，雨低落地下著，汗濕了屁股縫，口罩裡悶著抿起來的心聲。以致於什麼人的事聽起來都有點好笑，什麼珍貴的好事都流星似地消逝在你的視線裡，什麼亂七八糟的錯誤都像是髒汙那般侵入你空虛的情節裡。

抵禦這些失望的集結，滲透，占領，我是愈來愈沒有把握了。

---

Henry Moodie這首歌讓我想起Joe Brooks的音樂。本來這個月就想放April Winds，那就剛好了。

[gonagaiworld]

J-Pop Manga presenta Hyperventilation di Bboong Bbang Kkyu Arriva in Italia l’attesissimo manhwa Boy’s Love dell’autrice rivelazione Bboong Bbang Kkyu in versione regular e deluxe. Info:--> https://www.gonagaiworld.com/j-pop-manga-presenta-hyperventilation-di-bboong-bbang-kkyu/?feed_id=430495&_unique_id=65c7eb77938fc #Hyperventilation #JPOPManga #Manga