#i LOVED to throw my instrument in the air and use it like the flags

[uncanny-tranny]

*does a color guard routine I learned in middle school with my cane, hitting twelve people and injuring fifty when I toss it and fumble*

[dontcallmecarrie]

“I’m on the mend

Like I’m wearing a neck brace

Like I’m sleeping in my own place

Like I’m pulling all the stitches out of my own face.”

I Lost a Friend by Finneas

Genre: going all in on the h/c, it feels like. Works for anything set in canon after the first Avengers movie, basically

Fandom: MCU [I was tempted to pick something else, but this song can basically be another theme song for one of the arcs of one of my WIPs and I’m trying to switch it up right now]. 

.

...hmm. There’s [unfortunately] far too many scenarios this song fits in, really. Are we talking Tony’s POV anytime after Iron Man 3? Natasha after Age of Ultron? Civil War? How about Steve after the Winter Soldier? 

Sticking very close to canon seems a bit boring, though, for this thought exercise. How about...okay, let’s try this for a change. 

The Avengers’ perspective of Moments of A Dying World, aka the one where Tony becomes a villain [for realsies, and it is not pretty because rocks fall and literally everyone dies in the original AU]. 

...however, since I don’t have the stomach for 100% downer endings at the moment, here, have a potential fix-it remix that’s bittersweet instead [more bitter than sweet, though]

.

Nobody noticed when Tony Stark died in that corridor, alone and afraid.

Nobody could pinpoint the exact moment the Merchant of Death took his place, a cruel monster who saw the world around him as nothing more than a game and oh, was he going to have fun.

...or, at least, that was the plan.

.

It’s Bruce who first picks up on the fact that something is very, very wrong with his best friend. 

Kind of hard not to, when Tony came back strangely quiet— though he’d been a chatterbox not five minutes beforehand. 

Which, okay, might’ve made sense if it’d been because of the Chitauri corpse they’d found— after all, he knew better than anyone just how Tony’d been dealing with things after New York— but.

When he asked, all he got was a puzzled look and a, “now, why would I be bothered by something like that?”

Like it genuinely didn’t bother him, as if the panic attacks Bruce’d had to help him through not two months ago had never happened, and now is when the red flags start cropping up because it might be his imagination, but he could’ve sworn he saw the flicker of red in his best friend’s eyes.

From there, it’s so, very easy to restrain him, and figure out just what the hell was going on—

.

The rest of the team’s convinced after the readings show up, and Tony— or, rather, the stranger wearing his face— rolls his eyes but drops the ruse and oh shit this guy was bad news. To the point where the ball of evil that tried to take over a cell phone was a footnote, because this ‘Merchant’ guy had all of the ruthlessness and venom Tony’d ever buried and had absolutely no compunction about using it against them.

It’s...not pretty. More of an eye-opening experience, really.

Because Tony’d been nothing but kind and supportive towards them, had always gone out of his way to try and help— whereas this guy...well.

Steve now knows just what kind of man Howard became, and all the ugly details of the Winter Soldier program Tony’d been in the process of compiling in an attempt to help him with his search for Bucky; Bruce gets every single insecurity he’d ever had aired out in front of everyone, and Thor nearly gets driven to tears; Natasha is the only one who can spend more than five minutes in the same room and come out relatively intact— and even then, it’s a very draining experience, having to deal with the Merchant.

But hey, now it’s just a matter of figuring out how to fix this. 

Because they can fix it, right? 

Right?

.

After having spent several hours in the company of the Merchant, and consulted multiple experts on the readings, the Avengers decide to try and go with the old-fashioned ‘head trauma to break the mind control’ for lack of better options. 

[Look, it’s the best they can do, okay?]

And...well.

To be fair, it works.

One sharp tap to the head, and the Merchant collapses and all instruments say the weird energy’s gone, so that’s it, problem solved, right?

Except.

.

Tony Stark blinked awake, and tried to raise a hand to rub at his aching head— only to freeze as he noticed the handcuff keeping him stuck to the chair bolted to the floor.

And the redhead standing above him eyeing him warily, and the other people milling around in the corner but priorities.

“Who the hell are you, and what the fuck do you want.”

.

pro: Tony’s back!

con: his memories are scrambled, especially when it comes to the Avengers and now there’s a lot of getting to know each other [again] and there’s an added level of awkward because now the team’s seen him in multiple crisis situations and are very very aware of just how bad he can get, whereas Tony’s just seeing a bunch of random strangers who he trusts about as far as he can throw without his suit. 

bonus angst if there’s some subconscious instincts/dramatic irony going on here too, because this Tony wants to befriend these guys but part of him just can’t. 

Like, he’d love to geek out in his labs with Bruce Banner! It’s just...a part of him feels very very uncomfortable with the idea of opening up to him, and Steve Rogers really really wants to spend time with him, but Tony’s just not sure why??? 

[jamaisjoons]

suncity | jhs

⟶ ����𝑢𝑚𝑚𝑎𝑟𝑦:〝 when you’d taken a spontaneous trip to Barcelona, you hadn’t expected to meet hoseok. more than that, you hadn’t expected to begin a torrid affair with him. 〞stranges to lovers au. vacation au.

❥ 𝑝𝑎𝑖𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔: hoseok x reader

❥ 𝑔𝑒𝑛𝑟𝑒: angst ⋆ fluff ⋆ smut

❥ 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑑 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑡: 17k

⟶ 𝑤𝑎𝑟𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠: grinding in public (just dancing), kissing, nipple play, fingering, dom!Hoseok, sub!Reader, dirty talk, praise, degradation, cum eating, cum swapping? penetration, creampie, public sex, blowjob, cum swallowing, sacrilege, exhibitionism, the slightest daddy kink (literally used twice,,, for sacrilegious purposes), rough sex, cunningulus, sweet lowkey sad sex, sex on a boat // there are three different smut scenes

➵ 𝑎/𝑛: hello!! here is the third instalment of the mixtape series! I had quite a bit of fun with this au and I just,,,, fell in love with jung hoseok all over again and I hope you do too! thank you to my beta reader @slashgashbridesmaid for being wonderful and editing this for me!

⇥ part of the mixtape series

Stepping out of the air-conditioned airport, you take in a deep breath, the humidity mixed with the heat already seeping into your pores, sweat forming around your temples. The sun blazes overhead, the sky completely cloudless and streets bustling with both traffic and people. You have no idea if it is the bright weather, the stunning vintage architecture, or just a placebo effect, but everything about Barcelona feels completely different from Seoul. Which, of course, it is, but it’s almost as if the air itself is different. It feels electric; livelier.

You take another deep breath, relishing in the complete change of pace. Barcelona. You’re really in Barcelona. You hadn’t really planned this. In fact, this was probably the most impulsive decision you had made in a very long time, but recently, you’d just had enough of the same routine, fast-paced life in Seoul and you had desperately needed a change of pace lest you finally lose your mind. Thus, you had hopped in the first cab you could hail, ridden straight to Incheon Airport, and grabbed the first flight with a seat open to the sunniest available destination, which just happened to be Barcelona.

Grabbing the handle of your small roller suitcase, you begin walking down the streets, more lost than you had been in, well, years. You’d gotten so used to expertly navigating the streets of Seoul that the sudden displacement and unfamiliarity of Barcelona sent a rush of exhilaration down your spine. Aimlessly wandering down the streets, you can’t help but be in awe of the sights. Everything is vibrant, pulsating with life and music, from the bright vivid colours of various flags, shops and people to the low thrumming of different songs blending together in an intoxicating amalgamation of rhythms.

You find yourself inexplicably drawn down a random street, a rhythmic Spanish beat getting louder and louder. Almost as if it called out to you, you find yourself being drawn to it, like a sailor to a siren’s song. Stopping short, you spot a large group of people gathered around a huge circle painted on the floor. There’s a band playing their instruments and a man singing in Spanish as people bustle around, some even dancing. Stall vendors occupy the outskirts, smiling and singing along to the music as tourists and locals sit around.

“Miss? Free Sangria?” a woman asks, popping out of nowhere. Her voice is thick with her accent and her eyes kind. Your eyes widen slightly before you graciously accept the small cup of red wine and chopped fruit. Somewhere in the back of your mind, your consciousness screams at you to not accept random drinks from strangers, but you’re already losing yourself in the free spirit of Barcelona.

“Sorry, do you know where I am?” you ask, trying your best to communicate. The woman looks at you apologetically, replying in Spanish before wandering off back to her stall. You let out a sigh, looking around and wondering if you could find someone that could guide you to a nearby hotel or something. Perhaps wandering down the streets of an unfamiliar location was a bad idea. Exhaling heavily, you take a sip of your drink, eyes widening at the pleasant taste. You’d always hated red wine, finding the acidic taste too sour and tart. However, mixed with the chopped fruit, orange juice, and lemonade, the taste more than appealing.

Continuously sipping your drink, you walk further into the crowd, the sensual beat of the music only getting louder. Breaking further into the throng of people, you stop. You’re close enough to the band that the sultry cadence of the instruments vibrates through your bones. You’re pleasantly surprised by the man dancing in front of the band, muscles moving to the beat. It’s as if he were music himself; as if the bassline of Spanish melody coursed through his veins. Each sensuous movement of his limbs was completely in tune with the undercurrent of the music. The most surprising thing, however, was that unlike the rest of the people dancing he wasn’t Spanish, yet, he moved with just as much intensity. You couldn’t help but notice that he was also definitely better than the natives.

Your eyes stay focused on him, unable to look away. The way he moves is intoxicating, and you simply can’t find it in yourself to pull your gaze away. More than that, you just don’t want to. Watching him dance is almost like watching the waves of the sea: each movement flows like water. His moves glide into the next with relative ease, completely in tune to the undercurrent of the melody. His hips swivel sensually, rocking to the rhythm as his thighs ripple in light-wash ripped jeans. The song slowly fades to the end, the guitarist playing the final few chords.

Sounds of cheering fill the air. The dancing man turns around and bows deeply. Then, he catches your eye, and you can’t help but gasp. He’s beautiful, with caramel skin that glows and brown eyes that lighten to a dark shade of honey due to the sunlight. He’s got the largest heart-shaped smile, and you may be in the sunniest city of Barcelona, but you can’t help thinking that his smile could rival the sun. He’s slightly out of breath, and sweat drips down the outline of his face, seeping into his slightly sweat-soaked hair.

He gazes at you with idle curiosity. You have no idea how long you stare at each other but the strumming of guitar strings has him breaking away. He slides towards you, a swivel in his hips, and before you know it, he’s grabbing you by the hand, empty Sangria glass dropping before he drags you into the throng of dancing bodies.

You don’t know why you allow him to pull you along. Perhaps it’s the alluring Spanish rhythm or maybe the glass of Sangria you’ve consumed on an empty stomach, or maybe, just maybe, it’s the way his eyes inexplicably glint in the sunlight, but either way, you allow him to pull you onto the makeshift dance floor. The movement of his hands lifting towards you catches your eyes, and with a surprised gasp, you feel his hands rest on your hips. He pulls you close enough to him that he’s able to slide his leg between your thighs.

You stare up at him through the thick of your eyelashes; his breath fans your face and you can almost taste him. He tastes like Sangria and sugar. When the beat picks up, you feel his hands on your hips tighten and then he’s swirling you both in one deep circle. Your breath hitches, eyes flicking to the thigh between yours, caramel skin peeking through his jeans. Again, he rolls both your hips, deeper this time: your ass brushing closer to his crotch.

You feel something deep within you telling you to give in and let him guide your hips. It’s hard to resist, and so you find yourself throwing caution to the wind. His lips quirk up into a smirk, his eyes darkening marginally. You feel your heart speed up, hammering in your chest as adrenaline courses through your veins. When the song deepens into a more sensuous rhythm, he spins you around before pulling you back. His hips are pressed into your ass, knees against the back of yours. You let out a breathy exhale, his hips rolling once again.

One of the hands currently placed on your hips moves, sliding across your stomach until it wraps around your waist. He pulls you closer, hand guiding your hips against him. You aid his movements, rolling your hips and grinding against him of your own volition. When his nose runs along the column of your neck, you let out a moan despite yourself, heat already beginning to pool in your stomach. It shouldn’t be turning you on. You’re in a foreign country, grinding on a man whose name you don’t even know. It definitelyshould not be turning you on, yet, the way he rolls his body against yours, his groin twisting into yours, leaves you even more breathless than your movements.

A particularly deep pivot of his hips, paired with you grinding lower, your crotch brushing against his thigh, has you throwing your head back into his shoulder. He lifts his head up, lips brushing against the outer shell of your ear. Hazily, you recognise that he’s singing. Your ears strain, core dripping when you hear the dulcet sound of his voice echo in your ear. His voice is soft, and he sings with such a smooth accent that you’d think he was a native. Spanish was already such a sensual, romantic language, yet, with the way he’s singing, you can’t help but think it sounds even more erotic, his voice dripping with sex.

You can’t think straight, the heady scent of his sweat-soaked skin and the low rumbling of his singing against your ear leaving you spellbound. You can’t bring yourself to pull away from him, even when the hand on your hip moves slightly under your top, even when his lips brush against your collarbone. However, you don’t want to pull away, so instead, you roll your head to the side, giving him more access.

Lust clouds your every movement. Your arms twist backwards, wrapping around his neck as your movements become more exaggerated. He chuckles in your ear, and you find yourself gasping at the sound. It’s light and practically twinkles in your eardrum, completely different from the sultry atmosphere, but it only draws you deeper into him, your body rolling both with and against his. Vageuly, you hear the song slowly begin to fade as it comes to an end. Your hips move slower, now more sensuous than needy, until the beat finally hums to a stop.

His arm tightens around you, fingers flexing and digging into your hip, just under your top. You both pant, heat flushing and prickling against your skin. Slowly, your eyes flutter open; you don’t even remember at which point they shut. You can feel his breath, hot and heavy against your ear. The haze in your mind slowly clears, and the cheering of the people around you fills your ears once again. Immediately, the man is twirling you until you’re facing him. His eyes are dark, lust swimming in his coffee irises. Then tension between you both is so palpable, it practically suffocates you. Your eyes flick to his lips; they’re pink and luscious, a small mole on the left of his top lip drawing your attention.

“Do you wanna get out of here?” he asked, his voice strained with lust.

You should say no. You don’t even know his name. He’s a complete stranger in a foreign country.

“Yes.”

Your decision is completely impulsive, the word tumbling out of your mouth before you can even think about it. Then, he grabs your hand, snatching your suitcase before pulling you along the streets of Barcelona.

He pushes you against the hotel room door, lips feverish against yours. Your suitcase lies forgotten, his hands digging into your hair and pulling you into him. You moan when his tongue brushes against the seam of your lips. Without hesitation, you part your lips, letting his tongue slide into your mouth. Your own hands desperately wander over his chest before they fist in his collar. He pulls away, and you can hear the rustle of fabric as you urgently press your mouth towards the column of his neck.

Your teeth scrape against his neck, causing him to hiss. You hear the swipe of his keycard as he attempts to open his hotel door, hands shaky with lust. Moments later, he finally succeeds. The door pushes behind you, and the only reason you don’t tumble back is due to his strong arms wrapping around you as he draws you in for another kiss. You groan against him, letting him push you inside as he kicks your suitcase into his room before shutting the door.

Long, slender fingers fervently divest you of your top before expertly unclasping your bra. You gasp out as the cool air of his air-conditioned hotel room hits your skin, nipples hardening to stiff peaks. He immediately bends down, taking a nipple in his mouth before a gentle bite causes you to cry out in pleasure. You feel him smirk against your breast, tongue swirling around as he lightly sucks. Your hands begin vigorously unbuttoning his shirt before impatiently sliding it off of his shoulders. He twists his arms, slipping his shirt off of them and leaving both of your top halves naked.

He stands back up, his lips barely brushing against yours before he pulls your bottom lip between his teeth. He pushes you backwards, and you fall onto the bed with a slight bounce as he crawls on top of you. You lean up, hands twisting into his thick, dark locks as you pull him closer to you, kissing him passionately once again. His hand slides down your body, your back arching when he brushes against a nipple before he’s thrusting his hand down your jeans, completely bypassing your panties.

Long, expert fingers brush against your clit, and you break your kiss, crying out against his lips. Your pussy is unbelievably hot, stifled in the material of your panties and jeans. He brushes his fingers against your clit again, lips trailing down your jaw. Deft fingers part your lips before he plunges a single digit into you, simultaneously biting the supple skin of your throat particularly harshly. Instantly, his actions have you crying out, your cunt walls gripping around his finger at the mixture of both pain and pleasure.

“Please-” you gasp out. You want to cry out his name, but you have no idea what it is.

“Please what, sweetheart?” he asks, chuckling against the skin of your neck. Despite his words, however, he sinks a second finger into you. You hiss, biting your lip. He doesn’t have enough room to move around due to your jeans, so instead, he pulls his fingers out. You whine, hips chasing his hand as you buck into the air. He grins at you before suckling his fingers, licking your arousal clean off of them.

“More,” you whine, wanting his fingers back against you. He kisses down your body until he comes to the waistband of your jeans. His fingers make quick work of your button and zipper before he pulls both your jeans and panties down your legs. You help him kick them off, and then he’s parting your legs. He groans, eyes feasting on your pussy. The heady scent of your sex is heavy in the air, and you blush, attempting to close your legs.

“Don’t” is all he says as he parts your thighs once more. He leans into the space between your thighs, pressing a soft kiss against your clit. You cry out, your hip thrusting into his face as your cunt flutters, releasing another gush of wetness. He pushes his soft lips against your clit, tongue flicking out and licking the little hardened nub as he sinks his finger back into you. You cry out once again, hands automatically moving to play with your breasts.

Messily, he eats out your cunt, tongue lashing against your clit as he plunges his finger in and out of your clenching walls. He draws out feverish, breathless moans from you as he pushes a second finger into you, scissoring your walls. There’s a slight pain to the stretch, but you’re too lost in the sensation of his lips around your clit. He gently bites your clit, sucking harshly as his fingers piston into you, and, all of a sudden, you’re crying out.

“Are you cumming?” he asks, and you can’t find it in yourself to string together a cohesive thought, so instead, you just moan louder. “Cum then.” He chuckles. The vibration of his words has your orgasm ricocheting through you, thighs shivering on either side of his head.

“Good. That’s my good little slut. Cum for me. Cum on fingers,” he goads, drawing out your orgasm. Your walls clench tightly, forcing his fingers out of you. He lets out a little groan, instead his lips moving down to your cunt as he laps at your cum. When the trembling of your thighs calms down to erratic spasms, he finally leaves your cunt. Crawling back over you, he leans on top of you before he draws your lips into his for a kiss. You moan against him, licking his lips. He slides his tongue into your mouth, your tongues curling against each other as you taste yourself. You’re thick on his tongue, your cum carrying across his mouth and into yours.

When he pulls away, a narrow string of your saliva and arousal clings between your lips until it breaks away, dripping down your chin. Your tongue flicks out, swiping at it before you swallow. He groans on top of you, pushing his damp locks out of his eyes and behind his head. Your core immediately tightens. He’d looked beautiful with his bangs down, but with them out of the way and his forehead exposed? He was a completely different human being. He was practically god-like.

“Want you,” you mewl out, still not knowing his name. His jaw twitches and you watch as nimble fingers unbutton the trousers of his jeans. He pushes both his trousers and boxers down his thighs, not bothering to take them off. His cock releases with a slight bounce before standing to attention. Your mouth immediately goes dry and you watch as he fists his length. He’s deliciously long and so incredibly veiny: the perfect cock to ride. Precum drips out of the slit on his cockhead, and he’s immediately scooting closer to you, hips pressed between your thighs till you feel the heat of his dick brush against your hot cunt.

You cry out at the sensation, feeling him rub his cock through your folds. Finding your cunt, he presses his cock in slowly, inch by inch, sinking into you and opening you out. You let out a heavy groan, feeling him slowly opening your walls until he finally bottoms out with a hiss. You feel the rough denim of his jeans scrape against your sensitive inner thighs as he draws out of you before thrusting back in.

He falls over you, his arms caging you as they strain on either side of your head. You can spot the slight twitches of his biceps as he sensually rolls his hips into yours. It’s completely unfair. You were used to stilted movements and plain thrusts, but the way his hips grind into you has you feeling a different level of ecstasy. Each of his movements is calculated and flows into the next. The way his hips undulate has his cock gliding into you at different angles, hitting your depths differently with each thrust and slowly driving you wild.

“More- faster,” you groan out, your hands shooting out and gripping into his shoulder. He hisses on top of you, lowering his body until his chest is pressed against yours, the speed of his thrusts increasing. The change in position lets him hit deeper, and you groan every time he bottoms out; his hips continue swivelling sensually, the tip of his cock brushing against the sensitive spot inside you over and over again.

Your hands slide down his back, nails scraping against his skin and leaving angry, red welts in their wake. The pain has him grunting, his hips rocking harder into you. You feel your orgasm slowly begin to build up, the brushing of his cockhead against your g-spot causing your eyes to roll into the back of your skull. He shifts on top of you, one of his hands moving to rub your clit, the other hand straining under all his weight. He can feel his own end near, his cock pulsing inside you.

“Cum again. Cum on my cock,” he commands, thumb repeatedly flicking against your clit. You keen under his actions and dig your fingernails into his flesh harder, almost breaking the skin as your second orgasm washes over you. You cry out loudly, voice cracking. He lets out a deeper grunt, the movement of his hips turning stilted as he fucks into you. The rippling of your cunt walls around him, paired with the gush of your cum has him impaling his cock into you as hard as he could, burying into you deeply.

His hand leaves your clit, fisting in the sheets by your head as he practically collapses on top of you. You feel him spurt rope after rope of his cum into you, coating your walls white. He stays buried in you moments longer, both of you panting as you try to catch your breaths. Finally, when he struggles to hold his weight on top of you, he slowly pulls out his cock, rolling over and flopping onto the bed beside you. You feel his cum slowly leak out of you, moaning before shutting your thighs, your muscles protesting the movement.

“I’m-” he begins before gasping for air, “Hoseok by the way,” he finishes, introducing himself. You want to laugh at the absurdity of it all. He had justfucked you senseless and was just nowintroducing himself? You want to reply with something witty, but your brain refuses to put together a single coherent sentence, so, instead, you keep it simple.

“I’m ____.”

The next morning, your eyes flutter open. Thick streams of sunlight burst through the lace curtains of the hotel room, and with an annoyed groan, you roll over, burying your face into the pillow. A small chuckle rings through your ears, causing your face to scrunch into the pillow. Sitting up in bed, you look around, eyes stopping short at the man you’d both danced with and fucked yesterday. He’s seated casually on the sofa facing the bed, cross-legged and watching you with an amused grin. You blush under his gaze, drawing the sheets further to your chest.

“I was wondering when you’d wake up, but I figured the jet lag would have caught up to you,” Hoseok chuckles, smiling at you. You bite your lips, the dimples on the top of his lips indenting. Your heart speeds up slightly. How had you not noticed them before?

“Sorry, you should have woken me up and kicked me out,” you reply, voice groggy from sleep.

“I could have, but I didn’t want to. Do you want to join me for breakfast?” Hoseok asks. You chew your lip as you contemplate the decision. Shouldyou have breakfast with a complete stranger in his hotel room while in a foreign country? Probably not. Then again, you can’t help musing, you’d already fucked him. Besides, you’d spent the night with him, and he hadn’t murdered you; so that was a good sign, right? Hoseok quirks his eyebrow, gaze levelled at you as he awaits your decision. The sound of your stomach growling has you nodding your assent.

“Perfect. I was thinking we could have breakfast out on the balcony. There’s a stunning view of Barcelona. I’ll let you get ready. The bathroom is just through that door. Here,” Hoseok says. He throws you the shirt he wore last night before walking through the large door and out onto the balcony. You slip his shirt on, buttoning it up before walking towards your suitcase. Hastily, you pull out a pair of fresh panties along with your toiletries before entering the bathroom.

Once you were done freshening up, you pad onto the balcony. Your toes curl at the cold marble against your feet. The sun isn’t out like it had been yesterday, but the day was still incredibly bright, the sky vividly azure and obstructed by just a few clouds. Hoseok sits casually, facing the Spanish horizon, the quaint city of Barcelona just below him. The scene is almost picture-perfect, the mix of Catalan Gothic architecture, large steeples and towers from the various cathedrals, paired with the more modern buildings only adding to the charm.

You clear your throat, feet shifting as you announce your presence. Hoseok turns around with a soft smile on his face, and you can’t help the way your breath hitches. He’s dressed casually in a white linen shirt and denim shorts, his hair falling onto his forehead. He’s beautiful. In fact, he’s probably the most beautiful man you’ve ever laid your eyes on. He gestures towards the seat opposite him, his eyes trailing over your figure, dressed in nothing but his shirt and your panties. Suddenly, you feel nervous. Maybe you should have gotten dressed? You pad over to him, smiling timidly as you take a seat.

“I wasn’t sure what you’d want, so I just got a bit of everything,” Hoseok informs, gesturing towards the mix of cut fruit, Spanish hams, eggs, and various pieces of bread. Your stomach growls once again, making him chuckle as you help yourself.

“I couldn’t help but notice your luggage tag. You flew in from Seoul?” Hoseok asks, mouth slightly muffled by food. You finish chewing the morsel in your mouth and swallow before replying.

“Yeah, I live there.”

“Wow, small world. I live there too. Why are you here?” He asks curiously before popping some chorizo is his mouth.

“I guess I just got bored with everyday life? Things were just becoming… boring. And I hadn’t travelled in years, so, I went to Incheon, booked the first available flight, which just happened to be to Barcelona, and, well, here I am. For about a week. How about you?” you ask, wondering what his story was.

“I was here on business. I own a company, and some of my clients are Spanish,” Hoseok says. Your eyebrows knit together, looking at him oddly.

“And that business entailed dancing on the street or…?” you tease. Hoseok clicks his tongue at you, sipping his orange juice.

“CEOs have hobbies too! Also, I said I wason business, but that ended a few days ago. Now, I’m on vacation for two weeks,” he continues, looking at you pointedly. You find yourself laughing, somehow feeling completely at ease with him despite knowing him less than a day.

“You seem to know your way through Barcelona well. Do you come here often?” you ask curiously, remembering how easily he’d navigated you from the plaza and towards his hotel.

“Mhm. Maybe once every three months? My Spanish clients are very important, and they like meeting in person. This is my permanent hotel room,” Hoseok says, throwing his arms out and gesturing towards the room. Your eyes bug out of your skull.

“Permanent?”

“Yeah. I own this hotel, and, since I need to be here every few months, it made sense to have a permanent residence,” Hoseok says. His tone is completely casual, but you have no idea how to point out that that isn’t a normaleveryday thing.

“If you want, you can stay with me. I could show you around,” Hoseok offers, and you feel your eyebrows shoot straight into your hairline.

“Oh- Oh no! I couldn’t possibly ask you to do that,” you try to refuse. As lovely as that sounded, you didn’t want to impose on his holiday.

“Oh come on! I know my way around pretty well, and you’ll need a guide considering you came here with no plan. It’ll be fun. What do you say?” Hoseok suggests. You shut your mouth, brain whirring. He made some valid points. You were completely lost in Barcelona with no money considering you hadn’t bothered to convert your currency. Plus, he seemed nice enough from what you knew, andyou enjoyed spending time with him.

“Alright. I’ll take you up on that offer,” you finally agree. Hoseok smiles at you brightly, pretty teeth on display. You swallow thickly, wondering if his smile was always as dazzlingly beautiful as it currently was.

“Perfect. Do you have a hotel room? If not, I can book you a room here, unless you want to stay with me?” Hoseok asks, eyes flicking briefly towards your chest peeking through his shirt. Your core clenches at the suggestion in his tone. Your mind reels back to the previous night, and just the memory of your orgasm has your toes curling. You make your second impulsive decision then and there.

“I’d like that.”

It’s not as if you have anything to lose.

Hours later, you find yourself being pulled by Hoseok into Barcelona Cathedral. You stop short once inside, in awe of the beautiful interior. Candles illuminate the area, sunlight streaming through large arched windows. The ceiling is incredibly high, gargoyles of varying creatures, from animals to mythical beings, decorating the roofing. The pillars are simple, made up of alternating bricks: stones that are greying, blackened, and smudged. You wonder what it would have looked like when it was first built and brand new. The interior is truly beautiful, and you can almost feel the history seeping out of each and every slab of stone, depicting events that people have forgotten but time has not.

Hoseok smiles at you, gripping your hand and walking further into the building. You gasp as you draw nearer towards the altar. The walls around the seating are ornately designed, intricate patterns of gold glittering in the amber light. There are quite a few people milling about, some kneeling and praying while others quietly walk around, taking in the sights like you were. As beautiful as it is, this was arguably notwhat you had in mind when you’d asked Hoseok to show you a side of Barcelona no tourist guide could ever show you; something you express to him.

“Don’t worry, we’ll be getting to that,” Hoseok whispers against your ears. His words are ominous, his voice lower than usual, vibrating through your ears and causing heat to pool in your belly. Your face flushes in mortification. You could notget horny in a church. There was far too much wrong with that.

Still holding onto your hand, Hoseok drags you further into the church. Your eyes flick to your entwined hands, your fingers locked together. His palms are small, but his fingers long and slender, yet are the perfect size in your own hand. It’s a small gesture, and Hoseok probably doesn’t even think about it, but you can’t stop thinking about how his hand feels. You shake your head slightly, trying to clear your mind. You had just met.

“So, what about this is something a normal tour guide couldn’t show me?” you ask, wanting to prevent your mind from straying into dangerous territory.

“This,” Hoseok says, stopping in front of an empty confessional booth. You look at him closely, peering through the holes within the baroquely carved wood. It’s too dark inside, however, and you can’t see a single thing.

“A confession boo-” you say, but before you can finish your words, Hoseok is dragging you inside.

“Hoseok!” you cry out, Hoseok immediately shushing you. He pushes you against the door, his nose running along the column of your throat before his hand slides down your stomach, rubbing just above the waistband of your skirt.

“This is what’s different. No tour guide would fuck you in a confession booth,” Hoseok whispers in your ear. Your pussy gushes into your panties, your breathing becoming laboured.

“Do you want that sweetheart? Do you want me to fuck you here?” Hoseok asks. You whine, pushing your ass against him. Hoseok chuckles before pushing your skirt up to your hips and sliding your panties to the side. His fingers swipe across your slit, leaving them dewy with your arousal. He pulls his fingers up to his lips, licking off your slick.

“You’re already so wet, sweetheart. I bet I could just slide into you,” Hoseok whispers, thumb brushing against your clit over and over again. You groan, pussy clamping and releasing another gush of wetness.

“Please.”

Hoseok groans at the want in your voice. He quickly moves his hand towards his shorts and unbuttons them. His hands move feverishly, pushing his trousers down to his thighs before gripping his cock and running it through your folds. You let out a high pitched whine, wanting his cock buried into you.

“Quiet. We don’t want people to catch you being a little slut for me,” Hoseok orders, and with that, he slides into you in one motion. You pull your bottom lip between your teeth before biting hard, trying to suppress your scream. Leaning your head against the door to the confession booth, you twist one hand back to rest on his torso, stilling his movement.

“Just- give me some time,” you sputter. The lack of preparation had you hissing in pain, taking in a deep breath as you tried to get used to him inside you. Hoseok brushes his lips against your shoulder blade, shushing you. You both stay still for a few long moments before you finally give Hoseok the go-ahead.

“Good girl,” are his only words before he pulls out, and then he’s slamming into you once again. The force of his thrust has you hurtling into the door with a slight bang causing it to vibrate.

“Hold yourself. I’m gonna fuck this dirty pussy real good, and I want you to be quiet,” Hoseok hisses, cock plunging into your depths again. You quietly whimper, Hoseok pinching your clit as punishment.

“I said quiet.”

You nod, taking in a shuddering breath. Hoseok’s hips lunge forward once again, and this time you manage to keep quiet, earning you a kiss on your shoulder. His soft attention has you keening. Then he’s back to setting his brutal pace, fucking his cock into you over and over again. His rough movement has you struggling to keep quiet, wanting nothing more than to scream out in ecstasy. People wander closer to the booth, and you’re able to peak at them through the small, carved out gaps of the door. Your stomach flips in fear, and your pussy gushes at the thrill. You could be caught with Hoseok’s cock buried deep within your cunt any moment.

“Fuck, do you like that? Do you like watching people pray while you get this pretty little cunt stuffed?” Hoseok whispers into your ear, his words causing your pussy to clench involuntarily.

“Yes. Shit, you do. You’re such a dirty little slut. I think you need to confess your sins,” Hoseok continues, your eyes rolling into the back of your skull when he hits particularly deep. All of a sudden, Hoseok swats your ass, and you have to bite your lip even harder to prevent yourself from moaning out loud.

“I said tell daddy your sins.”

“I’m sorry daddy; I’ve been so bad.”

“How?” Hoseok asks, plunging in deeper, one hand moving to play with your clit as he bites your earlobe.

“I’m being a dirty slut.”

“Keep going.”

“I’m getting my pussy fucked deep while people are outside praying. I’m being a dirty little slut by letting you pound my little cunt when people are around us. Hoseok-” you whine lowly, pushing your hips out. You can feel your skin begin to prickle with the heat of your orgasm, Hoseok’s fingers strumming your clit only driving you closer to the edge. How were you supposed to keep quiet when you came? Almost as if your prayers were being answered, you hear the loud baritone sound of the organ. High pitched voices of the choir members join the loud melody, your ears almost deafened by the sound. Hoseok smirks into the back of your head.

“Are you cumming sweetheart? Are you gonna be a good little girl for me and cream my cock?” Hoseok asks, lips brushing against your ears so you can hear him over the music.

“Yes! Hoseok, please,” you mewl. Your heart pounds in your eardrums as you teeter over the edge of your orgasm. Hoseok bites your earlobe, rubbing your clit harder.

“Cum. Be a good girl, and scream for me.” With that, you hurtle over the precipice, your orgasm washing over you in waves. Your thighs shake uncontrollably as you brace against the door. Thankfully, your screams are drowned out by the choir, Hoseok chuckling as he continues pistoning in and out of you.

When your legs finally stop shaking, Hoseok pulls out of you, sliding your panties back in place. You groan at the sticky feeling, your cum soaking into the material and wetting your thighs. Hoseok pulls your skirt back over your ass before flipping you around. He places one of his hands on your shoulder and guides you onto your knees, pumping his cock with his other hand.

“Now. I want you to be good and worship my cock,” Hoseok says, staring down at you through dark eyes. He brushes his cock against your lips, staining them in both his precum and your cunt juice.

You open your mouth, taking him into your cavern. The taste of you is heavy on his cock, masking his own headier taste. Your tongue swirls around his cock, gathering your essence before swallowing thickly. You close your eyes, bobbing up and down on his cock. Hoseok groans in approval, tenderly petting your hair and gathering your locks into a ponytail before thrusting his cock further down your throat. His sudden movement has you gagging, saliva coating his cock.

“Fuck that’s it. You’re so good. I’m going to cum,” Hoseok sighs, throwing his head back. You increase your efforts as you bob harder, wanting nothing more than to taste him in your throat. Hoseok thrusts into your throat once, twice, and then thrice before stilling. With a quiet hiss, he cums down your throat. You feel him fill up your mouth, swallowing him down as quick as you can, relishing in his taste. When his cock goes limp, he finally pulls it out, tucking himself back into his trousers.

Hoseok grabs you by the chin, pulling you up to your feet before taking your swollen lips between his. His tongue licks the seam of your mouth, and you grant him access, letting his tongue slip between your lips. His hand entwines into your hair, tongue moving sensually against your own. You moan into the kiss, drawing closer to him until your chests are flush against each other. Hoseok’s kiss is completely different from the way he fucks: he’s gentle and tastes sweet. You find yourself lost in him, allowing his presence to drown you.

His lips are incredibly soft against your own, his hand moving to delicately cup your neck and pull your face higher. When he inevitably pulls away, he has you completely spellbound and chasing his lips, not wanting the kiss to end. Hoseok chuckles at your actions, and your cheeks puff in a pout. He tuts, pressing soft kisses against your lips as he tries to mollify your pout. He succeeds very easily, a smile breaking onto your face at his tender touch.

Finally, he pulls away, a soft sigh leaving your lips. His lips press against your forehead as he holds you close. The two of you stand in that dark confession booth, the sound of the choir slowly fading. The people that had once been near you also move away, leaving the coast clear. Hoseok grabs your hand, checking the outside once again to make sure no one was around before he drags you out. Once you’re both out, he turns to you, a devilish smile on his face.

“How’s that for an unconventional tour guide?”

Hoseok is a voracious lover. He’s practically insatiable and hasto have you at least twice a day and in as many positions as he could bend you into, which is why on the fourth day, you find yourself being awoken with Hoseok softly pressing kisses to the back of your shoulder, his hard cock pressing into your ass cheek. Through the fog of sleep, you feel his hand flit across your stomach before pressing between your thighs, one finger pushing into your cunt. You were still wet enough from the remnant of his cum from last night, now only acting as lubrication for his fingers. However, rather than feeling the tingling pleasure you’re used to, sparks of pain shoot up your nerves. You wince, curling into yourself before letting out a groan, muscles protesting the movement.

“____? You okay?” Hoseok asks, his hand immediately pulling out of you. You hear him shuffle, and then he’s turning you over, looking down at you in concern.

“Mmm. Sorry Hobi, I’m just really sore from the past few days,” you whine, voice gravelly from sleep. Hoseok sighs, pressing another kiss to your shoulder. The action is far too intimate for someone you have only known about three days, and yet, you find yourself sinking into his touch. Hoseok wraps an arm around your waist, lips brushing up your shoulder before he presses a kiss just below your ear. You find yourself biting your lip, attempting to suppress the sigh that almost leaves your lips. Honestly, his embrace was far too comfortable and felt more like home than it should have.

“Have I tired out your pretty little pussy sweetheart?” Hoseok asks, voice deep in your ear. Your core involuntarily clenches, and you find yourself groaning in pain again.

“Hoseok,” you warn. He immediately chuckles in your ear, his laugh light and carefree. Your heart flutters at the twinkling sound, your face softening.

“Sorry, sorry. You’re just so irresistible,” Hoseok replies as he presses an apologetic kiss to your shoulder. He unwraps his arms from you before slipping out of bed. You try to contain the disappointment you feel from the sudden loss of his body heat. You really do, but the instant he’s out of your reach, feet padding into the bathroom, you miss him.

You flip yourself, ignoring the way your muscles scream in displeasure and shuffle onto Hoseok’s side. Your face buries into his pillow, nuzzling into the soft sheets as you breathe him in. The scent of citrus and pine washes over you, and you inhale deeply, wanting nothing more than to wrap yourself in his scent until it was all you can breathe. Fifteen minutes later, Hoseok exits the bathroom, only to be met with the view of you holding his pillow tightly, and, with it pressed so close to your face, he’s worried you’ll suffocate. However, when you inhale deeply, he lets out a little chuckle. You stiffen, knowing you’d been caught red handed, before you shrink into your sheets, wishing they would just swallow you up whole.

“You’re so cute,” Hoseok coos, pulling the sheet off of you. You whine in protest, clutching it tighter to you, your cheeks flushed pink with embarrassment.

“Don’t tease me,” you pout. Hoseok clicks his tongue, tugging the sheets harder until you were naked. You yelp, shooting up so you were sitting before glaring at him.

“Get up, and get dressed. We’re going out,” Hoseok says, pointing towards the bathroom.

“I’m tired!” you whine, almost petulantly as you fall back into the bed, rolling until you lie on your front, facing away from him. Hoseok clicks his tongue once again, and then you feel him swat your ass. Hard.

“Ouch! Hobi!” you hiss, turning your head and glowering at him.

“Don’t be a brat. Get up, and get dressed, or I’ll bend you over and spank you until your cute ass is red, which I’m sure you don’t want considering you’re already sore,” Hoseok says, quirking his eyebrow knowingly. You tut, grumbling under your breath before doing as you were told. Twenty minutes and a hot shower later, you finally exit the bathroom. Hoseok smiles at you, watching as you shuffle towards him, despite protesting muscles.

“Good girl,” Hoseok praises, kissing your forehead. You preen under his praise before Hoseok grabs your hand, dragging you out of the room.

“Where are we going?” you ask curiously, hoping he hasn’t got something too vigorous planned. You were far too tired, and you’d only been in Barcelona three full days, coming up to your fourth.

“I’ve got a surprise for you. Don’t worry; you’ll love it,” Hoseok says, nudging you into the car with a bright smile. Your eyes narrow into small slits, looking at him with apprehension before once again following his direction. Hoseok gets into the driver's seat, smiling brightly at you once again before he begins driving.

Twenty minutes later, when you’re out of the heart of Barcelona, Hoseok stops. You look out the window, face scrunching in perturbation. He’d stopped directly outside what looks to be an old abandoned warehouse. You turn to him in question, wondering what he’s up to. He cuts the engine, turning to you.

“After you,” Hoseok says, gesturing for you to leave his car. You swallow thickly, turning to the old, decrepit building before turning back to him.

“Are you sure about this?”

“Don’t you trust me?” he asks. It’s a simple question, but one that has you stopping. Do you trust him? He’s basically a stranger to you, a stranger in a foreign country. Do you trust him? He hasbrought you to an abandoned building. However, there are no warning bells ringing in your mind. You take a deep breath before turning to him.

“I do,” you reply. It’s a simple answer, but your face is stoic, not a single shred of doubt on your face. It’s foolish. You have too much faith and trust in a man you really only barely know, but you dotrust Hoseok.

“That’s my good girl. Now come on; I think you’ll love this,” Hoseok says, opening his car door and getting out.

You follow him, letting Hoseok walk around the car and up to you before he wraps his arm around your waist. He leads you into the building, pushing the door with ease. Once you’re inside, you’re pleasantly surprised. It’s not an abandoned building at all. There’s a small reception with a concierge and a large archway leading further into the building.

The man greets you both in Spanish before spouting off something you definitely cannot understand. Your face scrunches up as Hoseok replies in fluent Spanish. You’re completely astonished, before you remember that he visits Spain quite frequently. Of coursehe knows the language. You patiently wait as they speak in a back and forth and soon, Hoseok is reaching into his pocket and pulling out his wallet. You quickly put your hand out, reaching into your bag and pulling your own purse out.

“Hoseok, you paid for dinner yesterday. Let me grab this,” you quickly say. Hoseok shakes his head, already handing his sleek black card over to the man.

“Nope. This is my treat for you,” Hoseok replies, wrapping his arm around your waist again. You scowl slightly, placing your purse back into your bag. The man smiles at you both before ushering towards the archway behind him. Hoseok smiles and nods at the man, before leading you down the path.

“A treat for what? I haven’t done anything,” you say, peeking up at him curiously. Hoseok doesn’t reply, instead, only leading you further into the building. Slowly, the walls change from the modern white of the reception to dark, fading brick. You look around curiously, the harsh of the white light fading into a more soft, muted amber. Your eyes widen when you finally exit the tunnel, a large pool greeting you.

Exposed brick makes up the entirety of the interior, giving the room a dark and dreary feel. The gloominess, however, is juxtaposed and alleviated by the warmth radiated from hung lanterns and small boxes filled with small candles littering the floor. The movement of water from the large pools reflected on the ceiling only adding to its charm. It was romantically dark, the candles, lanterns, and pulsating of water warming up the darkened brick.

“I thought you deserved a relaxing spa day. Sorry for making you so sore and not thinking about giving your body rest,” Hoseok apologises. You turn to him, chewing on your lip. His face is completely serene, and he looks at you with a tender smile that has your heart gripping. His eyes are almost as dark as the room surrounding you and yet just as soft and comforting. The water’s reflection ripples over his face, breaking up his features.

You don’t know how long you stand staring at him, but Hoseok eventually breaks your gaze. He grabs you by your hand before leading you towards the edge of the pool. Your fingers twitch imperceptibly as you watch Hoseok slowly undress. His tan skin is only deeper under the low lighting of the room, and you’ve seen Hoseok naked multiple times, but the sight of his smooth caramel skin never fails to tighten your throat.

He shimmies out of his trousers and boxers until he’s left completely naked, and your throat goes dry. You had never truly gotten to admire Hoseok’s form; you were both far too busy ripping each other’s clothes apart in a heated manner, but now, in the tranquillity of the atmosphere and the dimly lit room, you have nothing stopping you. Immediately, you’re struck with what you’ve been missing. He truly was the most beautiful man you had ever had the pleasure of laying your eyes on.

Your eyes stay locked on his as he slowly approaches you. He stares at you through thick lashes, his hair falling into his eyes. Nimble fingers slowly undo the belt from around your waist before deft fingers work away at the buttons of your dress. When he undoes the final button, Hoseok slips the dress off of your shoulder. His touch is so incredibly tender that you’re afraid to move, instead, letting him unclasp your bra and throw it on the floor with your dress.

Large hands trace over the curves of your sides almost reverently until he reaches the waistband of your panties. This time, you aid him in divesting your final piece of clothing. It’s low, but you hear his breath hitch, eyes flicking over every inch of your figure. You both stand there, taking each other in for what feels like an eternity, and it could have been. For in this room, away from the bustle of Barcelona, and even further away from life, it feels like time does not exist: as if you and Hoseok are the only two people left in existence.

Hoseok is the first one to break away. He reaches out to you, interlocking his fingers between yours before gently tugging you. Slowly, he steps into the pool, not once breaking his gaze away from you. You follow him faithfully, letting him guide you into the water. The minute the water hits your muscles, you let out a shuddering exhale. It’s not cold like you were expecting, but, instead, it’s pleasantly tepid, and faintly, you think you can smell sea-salt.

Gradually, Hoseok lowers you into the pool, your eyes fluttering shut when the water encases your entire body. Your muscles relax under the weightless feeling the pool provides, allowing the water to slowly ebb away the soreness your body felt. Hoseok pulls you into his chest, his back resting against the wall of the pool. You let out another sigh, his warm, hard chest pressed against your back and his flaccid cock rests just at the top of your ass.

“How are you feeling?” Hoseok asks, his hands moving to rub your shoulders, fingertips firmly massaging the flesh as he tries to work out the ache in them. You let out another sigh, head lolling back to rest on his shoulder, your eyes shut in relaxation.

“Perfect,” comes your whispered answer. You can almost feel Hoseok’s smile, his lips lightly trailing across your shoulder before kissing your neck.

The two of you sit for however long, Hoseok’s hands slowly working their way across your body. You sink further and further into him with each of his movements, small moans of appreciation escaping your mouth as expert fingers dance across your skin. His hands trail down your sides and towards your thighs as he continues lavishing kisses upon any bit of skin his mouth can reach. His touch is reverential and delicate. Leisurely, his fingers knead the supple flesh of your thighs, alleviating the soreness in them before slowly working his way down towards your shins.

When Hoseok is finally done massaging the ache from your muscles, his arms wrap around your waist, holding you close. You snuggle further into him, body completely relaxed against him. Mindlessly, Hoseok’s hands begin moving; his fingers trail up your arm, goosebumps prickling against your skin at his light touch. You feel him trace lazy circles into your skin before taking your hand between his and bringing it up to his lips. He kisses the pad of each of your fingers before doing the same to the other hand.

The entire time, neither of you speak. You let Hoseok’s hands gradually trace over your skin. He’s incredibly thorough, making sure that every single inch of your flesh is lavished with attention. Each and every one of his ministrations has you sighing deeply, sinking further and further into his embrace until you’re nothing but jelly. His hand moves to lightly grip at your chin before he turns you to face him. You stare up at him through thick lashes, and then he’s leaning down.

The feel of his lips against your own has your knees weak, and you’re thankful you’re both already sitting because you’re sure if you were standing, you’d have buckled under his actions. He licks the seam of your mouth, your lips parting slowly and allowing his tongue to enter your orifice. Your tongues move against each other in a sensual dance, tasting each other and the salt of the water on your lips. His lips are firm against yours, and his tongue moves so sensuously it has your toes curling.

Hoseok pulls away eventually, a gentle sigh leaving your lips. He smiles softly, pressing tender kisses against your lips. Once, twice, and then three times before completely pulling away. He manoeuvres you so that you’re slightly further down, head resting against his chest so he can lean his chin on your head, his thighs caging in your body. His arms once again wrap around your waist before he presses a kiss to your temple. You both sit in the pool of water, unmoving as you lie in each other’s embrace.

You hear nothing but the gentle sound of the water’s waves, Hoseok’s breathing, and his heartbeat. Your eyes flutter shut. It’s completely calm; quiet and serene. It’s then and there, in the harmonious tranquillity of the room, that you completely fall into him.

On the fifth day, the sun is incredibly bright. So bright, in fact, that it radiates with the vengeance of hell fire. That, however, doesn’t stop Hoseok from dragging you outside. Sweat coats your skin, staining your clothes, and you briefly wonder just how Hoseok is coping with the heat. You eye him warily; his white linen shirt clings to his back, drenched in sweat, and yet, he looks completely unperturbed. He smiles brightly, his grin rivalling the intense sun rays.

“Where are we going? It’s so hot!” you complain, panting from the heat.

“Some place to cool down,” Hoseok replies cryptically. That’s the only response he gives you before he’s once again pulling you through the crowded streets of Barcelona. You let out a little sigh, shifting uncomfortably as your clothes cling to you. The bustle of people around only serves to increase both the temperature and humidity.

“Why couldn’t we have just driven?” you whine, almost stomping your foot petulantly. The heat was slowly turning your brain to mush, and you were sure you’d lose all reasoning soon.

“Too crowded. We’d never get parking. Now stop complaining, we’re almost there. I promise you won’t be hot for long,” comes Hoseok’s voice. You purse your lips in a thin line. Whatever he had planned better be worth it, because you are incredibly close to drowning him in your sweat as punishment for dragging you out in the middle of a heat wave.

You have no idea how long Hoseok drags you through the god forsaken cobbled streets: the white of the houses paired with the beige paving only serving to reflect heat directly onto you. Moments later, when you’re close to calling it quits and heading back to Hoseok’s wonderfully air conditioned hotel room, Hoseok finally stops. He holds out his hands on either side, a pleased grin on his face. The only thing missing is a small ‘tada’. You quirk your eyebrow. He’s stood in front of a black metal gate, the tips glittering gold in the sunlight, and beyond the fencing, you can make out large trees.

“A park?” You’re not impressed.

“Oh come on! It’ll be great,” Hoseok says, grabbing your hand and pulling you beyond the gates.

“Hobi! It’s too hot-” you begin complaining, only to stop short once you’re in the park.

It’s almost as if you’ve walked into a different world. The vivid green of the tree canopy offers the ground an ample amount of shade, cooling down the entire park. The air inside is somehow much cooler than the main streets of Barcelona, and your body involuntarily shivers when a light breeze runs across your sweat-soaked figure. Tree branches sway in the wind, and the rustling of leaves along with bird song vibrate through your eardrums.

“Well? What do you think? It’s cooler here right?” Hoseok says, eyes shining with amusement.

“It would be cooler in your hotel room,” you point out, a small scowl on your face. Hoseok laughs at your slightly sullen tone; he knows you’re more mad at him being right than anything.

“Yes, well, considering you’re leaving in a couple days, I didn’t think you’d want to stay in,” Hoseok points out. His tone is completely casual, but you can’t help the way your stomach drops. You had completely forgotten you were on holiday and would have to part with him soon. Hoseok catches your sombre tone and immediately grabs your hand. You turn to him in surprise, eyes widening at the large grin on his face.

“Come on! Let’s not waste the day,” Hoseok says before he tugs you along.

The two of you walk hand in hand down the winding gravel path of the park. It’s relatively quiet. Hoseok points out that most people would have gone to the beach to cool down. You relish in the calm moments with Hoseok, his hand nestled comfortably in yours as you wander along the shaded trail, trees encompassing you on either side. A while later, you hear the sound of flowing water, and Hoseok pulls you into a clearing. You stop short and let out a quiet gasp.

Amidst the large park sits a small oasis, completely deserted of anyone. Crystal clear water floods from moss encrusted rocks, cascading into the lake at the bottom of the waterfall. The sound of rushing water is almost deafening, drowning out the singing birds. Across the lake winds a white makeshift bridge made up entirely of boulders, disappearing behind the gushing water. It’s completely idyllic.

Hoseok grips your hand tighter, and he drags you towards the bridge before pulling you onto it. You both carefully hop along the rocks, making sure not to slip. When you get to the middle, just behind the waterfall, Hoseok stops. Somehow, the water is even louder now, echoing in your eardrums. With wide eyes, you take in the sights. It’s truly beautiful. Vines rooted in the cracks of the cliffside drip with dew while small vibrantly coloured flowers grow around the area; the kaleidoscope of colours contrasts with the grey rocks and cerulean water.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” Hoseok asks, eyes soft as he takes in your awe-struck expression. You have no words and, instead, just find yourself nodding.

Hoseok tugs you gently, carefully pulling you onto a large slab of stone. He quickly shrugs off his jacket, laying it on the damp ground before gesturing for you to take a seat. Once you’re seated, Hoseok joins you. His shoulders brush against your own, knees drawn up to your chests and feet almost touching. You take in a deep breath, the strong scent of earthen musk and flowing water filling your senses. The both of you sit quietly, Hoseok letting you attempt to breathe everything in.

“I think I’ll miss things like this when I’m back in Seoul,” you finally say. Your voice is quiet, drowned out by the rushing of water, but Hoseok hears you clearly.

“Like what?”

“Like this: sitting, doing nothing - just watching nature. Life is hectic in Seoul; you should know that better than anyone. I’m a personal assistant to the CEO of a law firm. It’s a demanding job, and I practically live for my boss. I’ll miss doing things for myself: walking through a park, going to the spa, dancing on the streets. I’ll miss-” you don’t finish your sentence. The word ‘you’ is at the tip of your tongue, but you can’t bring yourself to say it. Your stomach drops as you realise that you will have to separate from Hoseok, and your heart aches when you realise you may never see him again. This is unchartered territory - something you hadn’t planned when you’d spontaneously booked your flight. Hoseok goes quiet, and the once easy atmosphere turns maudlin.

“Hey! Come on; let’s take a picture. This is the ideal place, yes?” Hoseok asks, his voice suddenly loud and cheery. Your eyes soften at his attempt at cheering you up as he tries his best to alleviate the tense mood. He holds his hand out for your phone, and you quickly shift, reaching into your pocket before handing it to him.

Hoseok shuffles away from you, putting distance between your bodies as he tries to capture the perfect angle. The way his head is tilted, tongue poking out as he concentrates on getting the best shot, has you instantly perking up. You crack a large smile, practically beaming at him. Hoseok yells in glee, his loud voice competing with the deafening waterfall. He takes a few pictures before shuffling back closer to you.

“Now, one of us!” Hoseok calls, pressing his shoulder tightly against yours before wrapping his arm around your waist, pulling you closer against him. Just as he takes the picture, he moves, pressing a kiss to the corner of your mouth. Your eyes widen at his action, the camera clicking that exact moment.

“Hoseok! That’s a bad picture!” you yell in indignation. Hoseok’s eyebrows knit together before he shakes his head.

“It’s great! You look so cute,” Hoseok coos, taking in your shocked expression. The camera had captured your reaction to his kiss just in time.

“Delete it!” you whine, Hoseok shaking his head.

“No!”

“Well, it’s my phone. I’ll just delete it myself,” you reply, poking your tongue out before crossing your arms.

“Don’t! Promise me you won’t delete it,” Hoseok says, tone completely serious. You look at him curiously. He raises his brow, awaiting your answer. When he doesn’t budge, you finally sigh, giving in.

“Okay! Fine, I won’t delete it,” you relent. Hoseok beams at you, his lips pulling into their trademark heart shape.

“Good! Now you’ll remember me forever,” Hoseok says. Once again, his tone is completely casual, but the meaning isn’t lost on you. Your heart plummets in your chest as your inevitable separation rears its ugly head. There’s so much you want to say to him. I want to stay with you. I’ll miss you. I don’t want to leave you. I think I love you. However, your throat is sealed shut, and your tongue is unable to form the words. There is one thing you’re completely certain of though. You didn’t need a photograph to remember Hoseok.

He was etched in the back of your mind and carved into your heart forever. You were sure that whenever you thought of Barcelona, you’d remember him. You’d remember the way his skin glowed under the sunlight as if he were the sun himself and the way his body felt pressed against yours in the cool night. You’d remember the way his lips pull into the shape of a heart whenever he smiled and the carefree inclination in his laugh. You’d remember the way he’d hold you whenever he wanted to dance as he sings, voice low in your ear. You’d remember how his hand fit within yours as he dragged you through the streets and the way he’d intimately kiss your shoulder. You’d remember Hoseok. Forever.

“Sing for me,” you demand softly, the words tumbling out of your mouth before you could even ponder them. You don’t regret them.

“Now? You won’t be able to hear me,” Hoseok says, looking at the waterfall pointedly.

“I’ll hear you. Please, Hoseok, sing for me,” you repeat, voice slightly louder this time. You desperately needed to hear his voice. Hoseok pauses for a minute before relenting.

“What do you want me to sing?” he asks, looking at you expectantly.

“Anything,” comes your simple answer. Hoseok bites his tongue before nodding. He looks around, taking in the vibrant hues of the blue lake and the white foaming waterfall before his gaze falls on you.

“Inside my blue dream, I want to contain you,” Hoseok begins. His voice is quiet but the hauntingly dulcet tones resonate loudly in your ear. Your stomach plummets at his words, and you take in a deep, shuddering breath as you gaze at him softly. You want to remember this.

“Even if you say no, inside my eyes,” he continues. Intense eyes gaze at you, coffee orbs swimming with emotions that you cannot comprehend. You don’t even try to. Instead, the entire world fades away. The once deafening sound of water ebbing away to nothingness in the back of your mind as you focus on Hoseok’s mellifluous voice.

“Inside my blue dream, I want to hold you,” Hoseok sings, voice rumbling. His words are deep and meaningful, completely juxtaposed by the melancholic melody belying his voice. Goosebumps prickle at your skin, and your chest crumples from all the emotion bubbling up inside of you.

“Even if you say we can’t, inside my embrace,” Hoseok breathes out as he finishes, his voice fading into nothingness and the sound of the waterfall growing louder. An agonising ache grips your heart when his voice comes to a close. Without thinking, you lean over and draw his lips between yours, pouring in every bit of emotion you feel but can’t bring yourself to express.

Your kiss is slow and sensual, lips interlocked with each other. Hoseok’s hand moves to cup your cheek, drawing you in closer. Neither of you quicken the pace, more than content for your tongues to leisurely curve around each other. When the need for oxygen burns deep within your lungs, you both pull away. You flick out your tongue, licking your lips and tasting him on them before you lean your forehead against his. Deeply, you stare into his eyes, wanting nothing more than to preserve this piece of blue paradise between you forever.

On the last day you have in Barcelona, you find yourself blindfolded with Hoseok leading you somewhere. From the crashing of waves and the slight taste of salt in the air, you hazard a guess that you are somewhere on the beach. Suddenly, Hoseok stops before you feel him move behind you. His hands press into your waist, and then he’s gently pushing you, making sure you walk with careful steps. Your eyebrows furrow in confusion moments later, head snapping side to side as you hear the rumbling of an engine.

“Hoseok?” you ask, curious as to where you were. The wind rushes through your hair, sending the locks flying through the sea breeze. It almost felt as if you were on a boat.

“Just ten minutes sweetheart,” Hoseok says, his voice low as he brushes his lips against your temple. You nod, patiently waiting for him to give you the all clear and take off the blindfold. A while later, you assume ten minutes, you hear the engine cut off, leaving you in the quiet silence of the sea.

“Okay, now,” Hoseok says, and you tug of the blindfold. When you can finally see clearly, your breath hitches. You were correct; you hadbeen on a boat. Now, you were in the middle of the sea on a large white yacht that rocked gently on the waves. Hoseok stands just in front of you, a hesitant smile on his face. Beside him, is a table laid out with two plates and what you assume is dinner.

“I wanted to treat you to something special for your final day in Barcelona,” Hoseok breathes out, his voice carrying over the mellow sea breeze. You swallow thickly. His words cause your heart to clench, the ache in your chest returning. ‘Final’. It’s a simple word, and yet it leaves a sour taste in your mouth.

Hoseok holds out his hand, and you place your palm in his, allowing him to lead you to your seat. Your eyes follow him, watching as he takes a seat opposite you. He pours you a glass of white wine before smiling gently at you. Your eyes flick to your food, a mix of seafood laid beautifully on your plate. It’s presented elegantly and usually would have your mouth watering, but right now you simply have no appetite.

Despite this, you tuck into your food, and vaguely you can recognise that it tastes delicious. Hoseok idly chatters in the background, you, however, can’t focus on anything but the sight of him. The sun is low on the horizon, shades of copper and gold lighting up the sky. Hoseok’s form is illuminated by the glow of the sun, encasing him in an amber halo. The wind lightly combs through his dark hair, white sails ruffling behind him.

When he finishes his meal, he takes a sip of his wine before smiling at you. Your throat closes. Once again, you’re consumed with all the things you feel for him: feelings you shouldn’t have developed within such a short amount of time, yet you had, because Hoseok is perfect and so incredibly beautiful that it was entirely impossible to not fall in love with him. Your mouth is completely dry, as if you’ve swallowed cotton.

So, instead of saying anything, you get up and take his hand between yours. Hoseok blinks at you in surprise, before shuffling out of his seat. He lets you drag him towards the sofa and towards the bow of the boat before you push him gently. Hoseok falls onto the sofa. You climb on top of him, straddling his hips, your dress bunching up around your thighs as Hoseok’s hands naturally fall to your waist. He looks up at you through thick lashes, skin luminous in the warmth of the sun. He’s radiant.

Your neck bends down, Hoseok’s straining as you softly brush your lips against each other. He tastes intoxicating; the aftertaste of the tart wine is undercut by his natural sweetness. Hoseok deepens your kiss, pulling you in closer towards him, tongues savouring each other. Your hands curl into his hair, gripping his soft wavy locks tightly; his own hands wander across your back till they fist in your dress.

The deeper Hoseok kisses you, the more desperate you both become. Hoseok pulls away, breaking your kiss before trailing his lips across your neck as he suckles bruises into your throat. You cry out, his hands moving up your back to unzip your dress. Warm hands splay across your naked back, your own hands fervently moving to unbutton his shirt. Impatiently, you push it off of his shoulders before standing up and shimmying out of your dress. Hoseok follows your movement, both of you eagerly stripping until you were naked.

Hoseok lets out a little groan of appreciation. Nimble fingers caress the side of your breast before they trail along your side. His touch is featherlight and tickles your skin. Eventually, his hand reaches your waist, and gripping you just above your hip, he pulls you into him. Ever so gently, he spins you over before laying you down on the sofa. Climbing on top of you, he traces kisses down your collarbones and towards your sternum. Little moans of appreciation escape your lips when he presses his mouth against the skin between your breasts, feathering kisses along your flesh. Instinctively, your hands dive into Hoseok’s hair, and you admire how soft and silken it feels. Hoseok litters soft kisses in a straight line down your belly, tongue flicking out and swirling into your navel. When he kisses the skin just above your clit, you let out a wanton keen.

“Please, I want you in me,” you mumble, wanting to skip the foreplay. You were practically leaking down your thighs, pussy clenching in a desperate need to feel his cock. Hoseok shakes his head, long hair tickling your skin.

“I want to eat you. I need to taste you before…” Hoseok mutters, not finishing his sentence. ‘Before you leave’. Those are the words left unsaid. You ignore the sinking feeling in your chest, and, instead, buck your hips into him.

“Please,” you whimper. Hoseok delicately presses his lips against your clit, your breath hitching as your pussy gushes with a wave of wetness. His tongue laves between your slit, licking a line from your molten core all the way to your throbbing clit. A pleasurable sigh leaves your lips while your fingers tighten in his hair.

Hoseok’s hands skim up your thighs and towards your hips before soft pads press into your hip bones, pulling you closer to his face. His nose lightly teases your clit and only serves to add to your lust induced pleasure. He swirls his tongue through your pussy and collects every bit of arousal he can onto his tongue. You’re dripping all over him, his lips and chin wet with a sheen of your slick. Hoseok keeps his eyes trained onto you, tongue moving expertly through your folds. It’s completely erotic - the way his coffee irises glow honey-gold in the sun as he eats you out.

His mouth trails slightly lower before he’s plunging his tongue into you. The way his tongue pierces your cunt has you releasing a shuddering breath. Your eyes flutter shut, and your spine contorts, forcing your back to arch off the sofa. Red hot ecstasy scorches your skin, chest flushing in heat. Your hand leaves Hoseok’s hair, instead, gripping onto the armrests, nails clawing into the linen. Messily, he slurps at your cunt, soft pink lips gently suckling around your soaked hole.

“Hoseok,” you mewl, eyes screwing shut and hips gyrating against his face.

“I love the way you taste. I love the way you drip for me. Your pussy is always so wet and ready for me. You taste so sweet, I can never get enough,” Hoseok says, his words vibrating across the nerves of your cunt. The way your pussy contracts in pleasure is completely contrasted by the ache you feel in your chest. Everything he says has a deeper undercurrent of meaning that you don’t want to think about right now, but you can’t help thinking about it. This could be the last time you feel Hoseok between your thighs -the last time he tastes you.

“Close,” you mewl, thighs beginning to quiver around his cheeks. Immediately, Hoseok pulls away, and you cry out. Desperately, your body begins writhing as you whine, trying to get him back between your legs.

“Hoseok,” you beg, voice high pitched with want. Hoseok presses a kiss to your lips, the taste of you heavy on his tongue.

“Patience, sweetheart. I want you to cum on my cock where I can watch you fall apart,” Hoseok says, lips brushing your temple. Your heart flutters at his words as you draw him in for another kiss. You flip yourselves over, gently lowering Hoseok onto the sofa before you drop to your knees.

“Wait no, I want to feel you,” Hoseok begins protesting, but you shush him. He lets out a quiet hiss, throwing his head back when you kiss his cockhead.

“I want you in my mouth first,” you reply, words mirroring his. Hoseok groans before nodding, hands gathering up your hair. Your tongue flicks out, licking up the underside of his dick, all the way from the base to his head before swirling around his slit. Hoseok sinks further into the sofa, thighs splaying out as he gives you more room. You shuffle closer and wrap your hand around his cock, pumping as you lightly suckle his tip.

The taste of him is heavy in your mouth, his cockhead leaking with precum and coating your tongue. You relish in the taste, and briefly, you can’t help but wonder if you are ruined for anyone else. You don’t think you could ever forget the way he tastes. More importantly, you are completely addicted to him. No one could or would taste as good as him. Your mouth sinks further onto him, eyes trained on the way his teeth clench, jaw flinching. You squeeze your hand around his length before gently sucking as your cheeks hollow.

“Fuck… You’re so good. I’ll miss your mouth,” Hoseok pants, hands tightening around your hair. ‘I’ll miss you’; you can’t help it when those words flash in your mind. You will. You’ll miss Hoseok more than you ever thought you could miss someone. When you take him further into your mouth, his tip hitting your throat, Hoseok lets out a little hiss.

You begin bobbing your head on top of him. Your eyes stay focused on the total pleasure etched on his face, his jaw twitching every now and then as he tries his hardest not to lose control. Tenuously, your hand unwraps from his cock, and you relish in the way he bucks into your mouth, protesting the loss of your hand. Instead, your hand trails down to cup his balls, rolling them in the palm of your hand. Hoseok sucks in a breath. Suddenly, he’s pulling you off of him.

“I need you. I need you right now,” Hoseok groans. His voice is needy and full of desire. You feel your stomach churn, nodding as you stand up and in between his thighs. Hoseok pulls you into him by the hips, pressing his head against your stomach before kissing just under your ribcage, his hair tickling your skin.

Small palms slowly maneuver you until you’re straddling him once again, his cock brushing against your thigh and painting the flesh in his precum. You shift over him until his cock is pressing against your entrance, threatening to enter you. Then, you circle your hips over him once, coating him in your arousal until his cock is as sticky as your pussy. Hoseok’s hands shoot to hold your hips before he slowly lowers you onto him. Dexterous fingers flex against your hip bones, his face buried into your chest as he attempts to stifle a sigh. Inch by inch, he sinks into you, gradually splitting your walls open on his cock.

A shaky breath leaves your lips, and halfway into your descent on his length, you let out a soft whine until he’s finally buried into you. He stills your hips, holding you there as he inhales sharply. You both lay motionless, just feeling each other, taking in as much of the other as you can. He feels deeper in you than he ever has. It's probably just your mind playing tricks on you, but somehow, you feel even more connected to him. When you grow impatient, your flex your thighs and pick yourself up off of him before lowering back down. Your head lolls back in pleasure, every ridge and vein of his dick brushing against your walls.

Hoseok begins moving you on top of him, letting you ride him in a slow, erotic pace. Hands skim up your spine, pressing a kiss above your breast, just to the side of your heart. His touches feel different this time, somehow more intimate, more reverent, as they wander over your body. There’s not a single inch of skin that he doesn’t feel, pleasure tingling up your spine at his attentive actions. Suddenly, he wraps his arms around you tightly before pulling you flush into him. Then, his hand moves to cup your cheek, drawing you into his lips. Your mouths desperately move against each other, the kiss filled with raw emotion that neither of you want to reveal.

When you both break away, Hoseok sucks your swollen lips between his own, nibbling on the tender flesh. You gasp into his mouth, hands moving to wrap around his shoulder. Hips begin surging against each other harder, each motion filled with an urgent need for the other. A sudden thrust from Hoseok has him hitting particularly deep, and your pussy involuntarily flexes. You keen over him, clawing at his back.

With every one of his movements, you climb higher and higher towards the precipice of your orgasm. Lips smash into each other fervently, Hoseok’s hands wandering all across your body, mapping out each and every one of your curves. Your own hands clutch Hoseok’s back desperately, both your torsos pressed against each other so tightly you are practically melding into each other. You bury your face into his shoulder, biting into his flesh as you teeter on the edge of your climax.

“Let me see your face. I want to see you when you cum,” Hoseok says, his tone almost pleading. You relent, unable to deny him anything. Lifting your head, your hands move to his shoulders, nails pressing into his skin. Your eyes stay focused on one another, hips writhing desperately against the other’s. With laboured breaths, you rut each other, eyes unable to tear away from the other’s gaze. Hoseok suddenly moves his head, placing one final kiss on your lips before pressing your foreheads together.

“Cum- want to feel you,” Hoseok whispers, his lips skimming yours with every one of his words. The words are choked, and you can feel his cock pulsate. Immediately you know he’s close. Harder, you undulate your hips, pushing him deeper into you, as deep as he could go. When your clit brushes against his pelvis you finally cum. Your muscles seize on top of him, nails digging further into his skin. With trembling arms, you cling tighter to him, whimpering out his name over and over, as if it were a prayer on your lips while your orgasm washes over you in hot flashes.

Hoseok groans, your walls undoubtedly clamping tighter around him. He thrusts once, hands pulling your hips down onto his as he attempts to bury as deep into you as was physically possible. Then, with a choked groan, he cums, your name escaping his lips. You desperately want to close your eyes, lids heavy with the strength of your climax, but you force them to stay open, even when they begin tearing up from the intensity of your orgasm.

You don’t want to miss anything. Your eyes scrutinise every single detail you can: the way his face contorts in pleasure, the way his hair clings to his forehead, and the way his breath tastes against your lips. You commit every piece of him to memory: his dark honeyed eyes scrunched in ecstasy, the elegant slant of his nose and his high cheekbones, his gentle cheeks, and the sharp curve of his jaw. You don’t want to forget a single thing.

The sun sets lower and lower as you cling to each other. You’re both swimming in the afterglow of your orgasms, limbs spasming erratically. Heavy breathing circulates the air as you pant. Hoseok’s hands are splayed across your back, keeping your sweat-soaked bodies clinging to each other. When you both finally manage to come down from your post-orgasmic highs, the euphoric haze gradually fading, the sky is painted purple and pink. Your throat closes when you realise the sun has completely disappeared below the horizon. It only serves to add a tone of finality to everything.

When the weight of your emotions begins to physically crush your chest, you finally close your eyes and let the tears fall. This time, they’re not from pleasure.

Hours later, in the very early morning, you lay in bed watching Hoseok. The sun hasn’t even begun to rise, and your only light source is the waning gibbous moon shining through the curtains. You know you should probably get out of bed; you have a flight to catch, yet you can’t find it in yourself to tear your gaze away from him. You still have a little while before you have to leave, your suitcase already packed and ready. So, you take one final time to commit every last detail of Hoseok to your memory.

His skin glows under the low lighting, the moon illuminating him. Your chest floods with the overwhelming amount of emotion you feel for him. You’ve thought it multiple times during your trip, but he truly is the most stunning man you have ever laid your eyes on. He is so tremendously beautiful, in fact, that you were sure the god of beauty had personally blessed him.

Hesitantly, you reach your hand out, tracing his face as gently as you can. You don’t want to wake him just yet. Your finger trails along his forehead and eyebrows before drawing down the elegant slope of his nose. Unable to suppress the grin that breaks out on your face, you bite your lip, his nose twitching under your ministrations. Your fingers continue tracing his features, along his soft lips, and finally down the curvature of his defined jaw. When you’re done, you let out a deep sigh, shifting closer on his chest as you continue watching him.

Subconsciously, Hoseok’s arm around your back tightens, pulling you further into him. Nervously, you chew your lip, resting your head back on his chest as you listen to the steady beating of his heart. It’s loud in your ear, the rhythmic sound almost lulling you back to sleep. Your own heart aches, knowing that in mere hours he’d be far away from you, his heartbeat further than you could reach.

You love Hoseok. You are sure of this. You don’t know exactly when you had fallen for him, but somewhere between the intimate touches and the thrill of Barcelona, you had lost your heart on him. It’s foolish really, to have fallen for someone in such a short amount of time - someone you knew you were bound to leave. However, you hadn’t planned it. It had been completely spontaneous and involuntarily. Now, here you are, pining for a man that you will probably never see again.

A part of you wants to wake him up and ask him if he loved you the way you love him, if he was willing to be with you and only you. You have no idea what he feels for you or if you are just another notch on his bedpost. What if he replaces you the moment you were gone? The thought of you leaving Barcelona and Hoseok falling for someone else leaves a sour taste in your mouth. You are his. You wholeheartedly belong to him. Of this, you are sure. You could never love any man the way you love Hoseok, and your feelings would never burn for anyone the way they do for him, yet, a part of you wonders whether it was just the Barcelona air - the atmosphere was so inherently romantic that it would have been impossible not to fall for someone, right? You try to convince yourself of this, but when the ache in your chest deepens, you know you’ve failed.

The first light of day breaks over the horizon, the sky painted in different hues of the dawn. With a small sigh, you lift yourself off of Hoseok’s chest before leaning up and pressing a kiss to the corner of his mouth. You don’t miss the way your heart palpitates, pace quickening when his eyes flutter open and sleepy pools of chocolate meet your eyes. You’ll miss waking up to him.

“It’s almost time for me to leave,” you whisper. A part of you prays for him to say something, anything- for him to ask you to stay; for him to tell you he loves you. He doesn’t. Instead, he just nods, pressing a kiss to your forehead and holding you tighter. You let out a disappointed sigh before picking yourself up off of him and getting out of bed.

You pad into the bathroom before you begin your morning routine. Moments later, Hoseok joins you, dressed in nothing but his boxers. From the corners of your eye, you watch him. He presses a lazy kiss to your shoulder before reaching for his toothbrush and brushing his teeth next to you. Your heart grows heavy in your chest at the entirely domestic scene. You’ll miss early morning moments like these.

An hour later, you’re both ready. You quickly do a final sweep of the room, ensuring you haven’t left anything behind before following Hoseok out of the hotel room. You bite your lip and blink away the tears when you’re finally out. There are so many memories trapped behind the door: tender kisses and gentle touches between whispered words of sweet nothings. When Hoseok shuts the door, obstructing your view of the room, you let out a heavy exhale, knowing that you’d probably never see it again. Hoseok takes your hand in his, lacing your fingers together before rolling your suitcase.

The entire car journey, your hands stay held together, Hoseok expertly steering with a single hand. It’s dangerous - he probably shouldhave both hands on the wheel, yet neither of you really want to let go. Your eyes are downcast, focused on your joint hands, not wanting to look at the happy scenes of Barcelona. It’s a complete one-eighty flip from when you first arrived a whole week ago. Then, you had wanted nothing more than to lose yourself in the happy, almost exhilarating ambience of Barcelona. However, now that you were leaving, you didn’t want to take in the happy scenes or vibrant colours - not when you’re heart was aching.

The journey is long, minutes only lengthened by the sombre air, thick with emotion and unsaid words. You’re almost suffocated by how stifling the tension is and you cling onto Hoseok’s hand as if it were your last lifeline. When you finally arrive at the airport, you stare at it with blank eyes, not really wanting to leave. Except, you have to. Your life is in Seoul, not Barcelona. You have a job there, family, friends. You can’t abandon them all, even if you wanted to, even if your entire being is screaming, yearning for you to stay with Hoseok. You cannot, so, with a steely expression, you open Hoseok’s car door and walk out.

He follows you into the terminal, clinging to you almost like a lost puppy. Hoseok stays with you through the entire process, from when you check in your baggage right until the final moment before you have to pass security, lest you miss your flight. The entire time, his hand never leaves yours, gripping it tighter when the gates toward security near. Neither of you want to let go, though neither of you say anything to make the other stay. You shift nervously from one foot to the other, hiking your handbag further up your shoulder as you turn to Hoseok.

His eyes are intense. He looks at you, eyes laden with emotion. You’re sure your own eyes reflect the same. Once again, there’s so much at the tip of your tongue. I love you. I want you. I want to stay with you. Yet, none of them tumble out, your tongue tied. Hoseok lets go of your hand, your fingers flexing as they immediately miss his touch. Instead, Hoseok moves his both palms to cup your cheeks, pulling you in for a short, sweet kiss.

“I don’t think Barcelona will ever be the same without you,” Hoseok sighs against your lips, pulling away and resting his forehead against yours. Your heart grips at his words. He doesn’t think Barcelona will feel the same without you. Youdon’t think your life will feel the same without Hoseok. Somewhere in that short week, he had become a constant in your life, one you would sorely miss when he was no longer in it.

“I didn’t know what would happen when I booked that flight spontaneously. I didn’t expect meeting you, but you, Jung Hoseok, have been my favourite part of Barcelona,” you choke out earnestly, nothing but honesty in your voice. Hoseok’s eyes soften, and you feel the tears well up in your eyes. Once again, Hoseok pulls you in for a kiss. This time, it’s long and deep.

Automatically, your hands fist into the collar of his button down, pulling him closer to you. You pour out everything you feel into it, tongues laving against each other as you taste one another one final time. Moments later, Hoseok pulls away, his gaze flicking to the electronic board of flight timings.

“You should go,” Hoseok mumbles, his throat tightening, “or you may miss your flight,” he finishes. You can’t help the way your stomach churns or the way your chest caves in at his words, crushed under the weight of your heartache. Standing on your tiptoes, you lean over and press one final kiss onto the corner of his lips.

“Goodbye, Hoseok.”

“Goodbye, sweetheart,” Hoseok replies. You bite your lip, the pet name almost causes the tears in your eyes to fall. However, you stay strong, not wanting him to see you cry. Undoubtedly, however, you would miss the way he called you that.

Finally, you grip the strap of your handbag before turning and walking away from him. Your footsteps thunder, echoing in your eardrums as with each step the distance between you grows. The further you move away from him, the heavier your heart grows. The ending is more bitter than sweet, and as you’re passing the security gate, tears blur your vision. You turn back one final time, catching his eye. His gaze never leaves yours. He stands in the middle of the busy airport, hands in his pockets as he watches you. You smile ruefully and wave at him before passing through. When you finally get through security, the tears fall, little sobs escaping your mouth.

Hoseok watches you until the moment you disappear from his line of sight and out of his life. Then, he continues watching, waiting for you to come running back out and into his life, almost like the movies. A minute passes, then five, then ten. Finally, when almost fifteen minutes pass, he realises that you’re not coming back -that life isn’t a movie. With a stinging heart, he wipes at the tears pooling in his eyes before choking back a sob. When he turns away, walking away from security and out of the airport, his heart finally breaks.

You are gone.

Months later, you find yourself going through the motions of your life. Everything feels listless and monotonous. Your boss has become a lot less demanding, hiring a second personal assistant so that you don’t burn out. You are grateful, but it only means that you spend longer reminiscing about your short holiday - spend longer missing Hoseok. You miss him every day -miss him when you wake up without him next to you, miss his loud, boisterous laughter, miss the feel of his arms around you.

Today is one of your days off. Usually, you’d have your job to keep your mind occupied. Today, however, you’re feeling even more morose than usual. You sit in the quiet of your apartment, staring at the photo of you and Hoseok from that day in the park. If you try hard enough, you can still feel the ghost of his lips against your skin, and if you close your eyes, you can hear his hauntingly beautiful voice as he sings.

You stay seated on your sofa, unmoving, daydreaming about Hoseok and how beautiful he looked with the sun setting behind him. You would never forget his face. More importantly, you couldnever forget his face. You had carved him deep into your mind and held him even closer to your heart. You don’t know how long you spend lost in your reverie, but suddenly, you’re drawn out by a knock on your apartment door. Your eyebrows furrow in confusion. You aren't expecting any guests, so you have no idea who it could be. You throw your phone down onto the sofa before padding over to the door, unlocking it. However, nothing could have prepared you for what, or who, is on the other side.

“Oh finally! Do you have any idea how many flats I’ve visited in the last week looking for you?” Hoseok admonishes. You can’t answer, instead, staring wide-eyed at him. You blink once, twice, and then three times before rubbing your eyes. Is he real or are you just imagining him? The sight of your shocked face has Hoseok finally calming down. He shuffles nervously as it finally dawns on him that he had finally found you.

“Hi,” he says shyly. It’s completely different from his initially loud words. Now, his eyes are full of hesitation.

“H-Hoseok? What are you doing here? Why are you here? How did you find me?” you stammer, completely in awe. Hope flutters in your chest. Had he missed you the way you missed him? Surely, that is the reason he’s here in front of you.

“Yeah… hi. Sorry, this is probably rude, and I know you weren’t expecting me to just show up but...” Hoseok begins, voice trailing off before he runs a hand through his hair. “I missed you. I miss you. I tried to forget you, I really did, but I just couldn’t. Barcelona isn’t the same without you. My life isn’t the same without you. I think… no I know I love you. I love you. When I came back to Seoul, you were the first person I looked for. It took me a while to locate you, but I finally found you!” Hoseok begins rambling, the words blurting out his mouth. You can’t really comprehend them, still stuck on the fact that he’s here right in front of you.

“I found you, and I was just… I was wondering if we could continue where we left off. I want you. I need you. So much. Please say something, you’re just staring at me, and I’m running out of words,” Hoseok finishes. His fingers fiddle nervously, and he shuffles from foot to foot. His words finally resonate in your head, your brain processing the meaning behind them. You don’t know what to say. This is almost like a dream come true. Hoseok is standing right in front of you like you had been wishing for the past months. However, you can’t help the hesitation that grips your heart.

“Hoseok… I love you too, but this isn’t Barcelona. We’re not on holiday. We have jobs and lives. I love you, but what if… what if our love was based on us being on holiday? We can’t just wander around Seoul fucking. There are so many things that could go wrong. What if we don’t have time for each other? You said it yourself: you travel the world every few months. How are we supposed to cope with not being able to see each other? What if, now that we’re away from Barcelona, the romance between us dies?” you breathe out, laying your worries out for him. Hoseok, however, barely hears the words past ‘I love you’. He lets out a large grin, and your heart quickens when his heart-shaped smile radiates all the warmth you had missed.

“You’re worried about the wrong things. I love you. You love me. That’s all that matters. Besides, what we feel is real. I know it. My feelings for you are as real as it gets. It’s been months, and I can’t stop thinking about you - can’t stop missing you -can’t stop loving you. We’ll figure things out slowly.  Plus, romance isn’t a city. It’s the love we feel for each other. Romance is me and you,” Hoseok replies. His tone is completely steady and his words confident. There is not a single shred of doubt in his tone. A smile breaks out onto your own lips, so wide that it almost matches his.

Then with a kiss, you pull him into your apartment.

a/n: look!!! this one isn’t as sad as the other ones!!!! even though i seriously thought about ending this with them not getting together kenflke,,,, but please let me know what you thought! and if no one fell in love with suncity hobi then you’re all fake and don’t deserve rights

Mixtape Series | Masterlist

[nastassia1031]

Thoughts on 15x20 after a few days

It’s been a few days now since the finale aired, and I’ve had time to really digest it and think about it. After all this time I can definitively say that I hated it.

On my first watch, I was so caught up in the fact that it was the last episode that the actual content of the episode was somewhat lost under nostalgia. Now that I’ve had time to really digest the episode, I can honestly say that as far as I’m concerned, the show ended at 15x19. And I thought 15x19 was a weak episode.

The main reasons I disliked the episode have very little to do with Destiel, though we are definitely going to discuss that.My biggest complaint is the fact that we undid 15 years of character development for Dean with this episode to regress Dean back to his season one self. Dean spent the entire series learning self-worth beyond his status as a hunter and in forty minutes it was all erased. Dean never got a childhood because his entire existence was protecting his brother. His entire adulthood was spent being caught between a toxic level of codependency with his Sam and a stranglehold of self-loathing. All of his anger issues that boiled over so intensely this season were due to getting the fears he’s had his entire life confirmed, that he was just a blunt instrument in someone else’s plan, that he’d die violently because why else did he exist if not for that.

That could have made him cruel, but everything Cas said about him in 15x18 was true. Everything he did was always for love, even when he hated himself. And Dean was getting better. Telling Chuck he wasn’t a killer showed he was finally beginning to internalize everything Cas said to him. He was starting to get past his self-doubt and trauma. He was applying for normal people jobs (in the first montage there’s a clear shot of a job application sitting on Dean’s desk). He got a dog. Dean Winchester had just found a reason to live, after an entire lifetime of putting himself dead last and throwing himself on every grenade that presented itself. Killing him before he got the chance to enjoy the life he fought so hard for is unforgivable.

The song says there’s supposed to be peace at the end. When you’re done.

Dean wasn’t done.

That’s the biggest reason why I hated the episode, but it’s far from the only reason.

Dean’s entire complex character was reduced to beer car pie. Dean’s speech was beautiful, but it also reduced the brothers right back to their first season selves - codependent far beyond what is remotely healthy.

“Family don’t end with blood” sure got thrown in the garbage. Dean dies and not only is Dean’s hunter funeral empty except for Sam and the dog, but the montage of Sam’s life has him looking utterly miserable. Using a montage was also just lazy storytelling, and only served to make Sam seem more isolated.

Jack snapped everyone back, so what was the reason why we couldn’t have had Sam on the phone with Jody reminiscing about Dean? How about Sam just talking to his brother? There’s not a person alive who doesn’t talk to their dead loved ones. Instead, we get glimpses of a Sam who looks and behaves like a shell of a person, who seems to have abandoned the entire family structure this show spent 15 years building.

Eileen’s utter absence. Why even bother bringing her back if she wasn’t intended to be Sam’s endgame? The COVID excuse doesn’t remotely hold up, because it would have been beyond easy to establish her as Sam’s wife instead of Generic Blurry Woman. That montage of family photos? Photoshop Eileen in a couple. Problem solved.

And then we get to Cas. The fact that Dean was never allowed to respond to Castiel’s declaration is utter bullshit. We’ve seen the way Dean has behaved in the past when Castiel has died. He carried the trench coat in the trunk of his car like a war widow with a flag. He saw Cas everywhere and literally rewrote the narrative in his mind to make it his own fault that Cas was stuck in Purgatory. He was actively suicidal to the point that Billie called him out on it after Lucifer killed him.

For all that I found 15x19 to be a weak episode, we at least got a few instances of illustrating Dean’s grief - Dean drinking until he literally passed out on the floor, his sprint up the stairs when he got the fake call from Cas. But denying Dean the chance to actually pray to him when we have an established history of Dean doing JUST THAT? Not okay.

This episode also ignores the entire narrative structure of the season. Becky is the stand in for the fans, and when we have her reading Chuck’s original ending, she brings up a lot of the complaints the fans have - too sad, no Cas, a generic monster of the week case. All the way up to episode 18, a significant portion of the season was focused on Dean and Cas’ emotional arc. We have their breakup in 15x03, outside characters commenting on the strain between the two of them such as Rowena in 15x8 to Dean’s prayer and their subsequent reunion in 15x09.

To have that much lead-up culminating with Cas’ confession in 15x18, (an episode that was originally titled “The Truth” but then changed to “Despair”) with absolutely no chance for Dean to respond? That’s bad writing. That’s bad storytelling, and it’s wholly unfair to Dean’s character that we got a series of bad montages that cheapened Den’s entire character arc.

Reducing the third lead of the show to a throwaway line that Dean isn’t even given a vocal response to is a slap in the face to Misha Collins and all the work he did as one of the most beloved characters on the show.

I could write an entire dissertation about how Supernatural has a long history of queerbaiting, and Dean’s character has been coded as bisexual and his relationship with Cas hits nearly every narrative beat and trope of a romantic relationship. I could also go into accounts from PAs and other members of the show that have very different accounts of what was filmed for 15x18 and 15x20 than what we actually saw, as well as accounts from the cast of script changes that go way beyond COVID required changes.

But the simple truth is, Supernatural could have done something with the finale that could have been incredible. Instead, we got a disjointed, badly paced mess that is frankly an insult to all three of the leads and a slap in the face to the fandom that kept them on the air for 15 years. Jensen’s absolute silence regarding the finale on social media speaks VOLUMES about what his opinion of it is.

Is this going to change my love for the show? No. There are 326 episodes that aren’t garbage. And give the fans a couple weeks and someone will recut the finale into something passable.

This show means too much to me to allow Andrew Dabb’s shitty writing in one episode and the CW’s bullshit to destroy. Fandom can fix almost anything, and I’m far from being alone in my opinion on the finale.

Sam Winchester deserved better.

Castiel deserved better.

Dean Winchester deserved better.

And most of all, the fans deserved better.

Carry on.

[lady-divine-writes]

A Change in the Weather AU (inspired by Cacophonylights's A Change in the Weather) - Chapter 31

Read on AO3.

Notes: Finally! I meant to have this up yesterday but I was having some technical difficulties and then life kicked me in the face. But here it is, a nice light-hearted romp before the heavy chapter, which will also be a monster length wise, so be prepared. Also, if you’re enjoying this, please share the love. It would mean the world to me.

Sebastian drives with the top down all the way to Red Hat. He’d been considerate enough to warn Kurt ahead of time so he wouldn’t spend too much time fussing with his hair. Kurt already had a look in mind since the moment he found out they were going, so this news wasn’t well received. But he rolls with the punches, managing to throw together a style that comes across as attractively disheveled - morning-after-bedhead with a twist of reluctant apocalyptic superhero. On the up side, not having to sculpt his do ends up being a huge time saver. And Sebastian being Sebastian knows how to adjust the windows of his car with the top down so that Kurt doesn’t get buffeted too badly by the wind.

That move adds stock to Sebastian’s boyfriend cred.

The drive to the amphitheater is magical  - the night air that whips over their heads warm and fragrant, the sky bursting with stars, and relatively smooth sailing for the first leg of their trip. Sebastian had created a playlist of Airiel Down’s hits for them to listen to, but they end up forgoing music altogether to relax in companionable silence. Sebastian’s right hand finds and holds Kurt’s left above the gear shift, and they remain that way for the entirety of the drive.

The second leg of their journey ends up being a bit rockier.

The pulsing beat reaches them from over a mile away. Fingers of multicolored search lights stretch to the sky, welcoming them from the highway. Kurt gets swallowed by deja vu the second he sees those lights in the air, and excitement washes over him. Traffic into Raleigh is hellacious and, in the end, parking scarce, but it’s worth it. The vibe coming off Red Hat is electric. It hits them before they get anywhere near the amphitheater. And even though Kurt is heartbroken for Julian, he’s grateful that he offered them these tickets. Kurt wants to make it up to him, but the only way he can think to do that (the only way he’d agree to, that is) is if he could pull Cooper out of a hat, make him keep his promises.

And make Julian Julian again.

Sebastian and Kurt foot it from the only lot with valet parking that had space available down to the venue. They did find a spot closer, but it was on the street, and would have only given Sebastian’s Mustang a foot of clearance front and back.

Sebastian balked.

“Do you know how many people are going to be walking by here, intoxicated, carrying keys, phones, and God knows what else that might scratch my paint? Not to mention the spot seekers who won’t pay any attention and might take off my rear view mirror. Nu-uh. I have no intention of putting my baby in any danger,” Sebastian had said, putting a protective arm around Kurt’s waist and squeezing tight. “Not even for prime parking.”

From the parking lot, it’s a stretch of the legs to get there, and also a bit of a dance - swarms of people migrating up and down the street, stopping Kurt and Sebastian’s progress every five feet. The stop and go gets frustrating after awhile. But before Kurt knows it, they’re waiting in line, watching the opening numbers by way of a gigantic flat screen positioned behind the stage for the people stuck in lawn seating. Kurt turns in a circle, getting a lay of the land. He sees a hotel across the street - a Sheraton or a Hilton, some chain establishment. The drapes on each window are pulled open with guests sitting in front of the glass, enjoying the music from the comfort of their rooms.

‘That’s the way to do it,’ Kurt thinks enviously. As much as he enjoys a night out, he envisions being in one of those rooms, watching the concert from beneath the covers of a king-sized bed, perhaps using the music as a backdrop while he and Sebastian make love with the curtains wide open. Or right in front of the window, kneeling on the carpet, holding on to the drapes for leverage, hot skin pressed against the cool glass as Sebastian takes him from behind.

Would people notice them and call the police? On the average Wednesday or Thursday possibly, but not during an event like this, with everyone’s attention focused elsewhere. There’s a chance there is a couple doing the exact same right now. Kurt wouldn’t know. Even with an unobstructed view of the windows, he’s hard pressed to zero in on any single one.

That fantasy is not like anything he’s ever wanted before - more exhibitionist than he would have been comfortable with at the beginning of summer. But now - who knows? He’s game for pretty much anything. He’s been aiming to mark items off his bucket list, but maybe he should consider adding a few things, too - things that will be possible because he has Sebastian to do them with.

Once they get through the main gate, Sebastian and Kurt breeze past the line of people trying to buy last minute tickets. Sebastian gets his phone screen scanned by the guard manning the turnstile and voila.

They’re in.

The place is packed. There are still seats available but they’re difficult to pick out due to the sheer amount of bodies filling the rows. Not a single person is sitting down - everyone on their feet, hands in the air, moving to the music. An usher offers to help them find their seat. Sebastian tells her that he’s familiar with the layout and, to Kurt’s surprise, she lets them go off on their own. Sebastian finds their seats, or seems to find the general location, and leads Kurt down the row to the center.

Kurt had really been hoping for an aisle seat. He isn’t a crowd person. He doesn’t like germs or bacteria, and human sweat teems with it! He’d stretched his boundaries at that bar in Columbus, too fascinated by the flesh on display, too intrigued by Sebastian’s promise of a boozy good time, one where Sebastian acted as designated driver while Kurt got his buzz on. But this is different. This is that crowd of half-dressed, writhing bodies times ten! Aside from the people bouncing around them, getting way too close by accident, the temperature soars about twenty degrees immediately.

They have excellent seats, a stone’s throw from the front with a clear view of the stage. Kurt focuses on that, and on the music, on the beat humming through the cement floor, drumming its way through his body.

He focuses on Sebastian, standing so close, they may as well be fused together, a single entity swaying and grinding in time to the music.

But even with Sebastian’s body pressed against his, Kurt finds himself having a hard time letting go, feeling like a pinball caught between bumpers: his incredible boyfriend to his left, and a woman to his right who has never heard the meaning of the word restraint.

His mind takes a turn back to the hotel across the street, those open windows, and the people on the other side of them, doing whatever with this music as a soundtrack. He wonders what Sebastian would think if he suggested they watch the rest of the concert from a rented room and put his fantasy into action.

Odds are, Kurt feels, Sebastian would be willing - and eager - to oblige.

“How are you enjoying yourself?” Sebastian asks, lips hovering close to Kurt’s ear. He wouldn’t need to ask if they were standing chest to chest instead of chest to back. If Kurt’s hips were flush against Sebastian’s, he’d have an accurate indicator of whether or not Kurt is enjoying himself.

“Great!” Kurt tilts his head back, hands cupped over his mouth so he doesn’t blow out his vocal chords trying to be heard. They are his instrument, after all. “I really like it!”

“Really? You like this kind of music?” Sebastian asks, smiling as if Kurt’s enjoyment is a personal triumph, which leads Kurt to believe that Airiel Down must be one of Sebastian’s favorite bands. Kurt has never heard of them before, but when he gets the chance, he’s going to hop onto YouTube and download every single of theirs he can find.

“Apparently!” Kurt replies, rolling his eyes.

“I didn’t think this would be your speed.”

“You underestimate me, Sebastian Smythe!” Kurt says slyly. “For I have many speeds!”

Sebastian chortles loudly at that remark and Kurt blushes. It sounded different in his head. A lot different.

“I only have one complaint,” Kurt continues.

“And that is …?”

“The woman next to me keeps elbowing me in the arm! And she has sharp elbows!”

Sebastian looks past Kurt at the woman in question, bouncing up and down, limbs flailing, without a care in the world. He grabs Kurt by the elbow and shimmies him away, moving him to his other side as he peers over the crowd towards the stage, eyes sweeping the amphitheater from end to end. He must see a solution to Kurt’s problem because his face lights up.

“Come with me,” he says, taking Kurt’s hand. “Maybe I can fix that.”

“You’re going to cut off her elbows?” Kurt asks hopefully.

“Even better.” Sebastian pulls him through the crowd the way they came. It’s tight, but eventually they stumble out into the aisle without too much more elbowing and race straight for the stage. When they get there, Sebastian positions Kurt between himself and the barricade separating the audience from the stage.

Then he starts jumping up and down with his arms in the air like a lunatic.

“Wait! What … what are we doing?” Kurt asks. “Am I missing something?”

“I’m flagging down a friend. Hey! Hey, Viola! Vi! Down here!”

From where they’re standing, Kurt can see four hands on this end of the stage - three men and one woman, all wearing dark jeans and black t-shirts with Airiel Down printed in white letters across the front. The woman Sebastian seems to be hollering at has on a pair of enormous headphones with no less than three antennas sticking out the side. Kurt’s father owns a pair of BOSE noise canceling headphones that don’t look half as intimidating as these. When Kurt borrows them, they block sound so effectively, he wouldn’t hear a 747 if it came crashing into his bedroom.

He doesn’t see any way that she’ll be able to hear them.

Sebastian does, however, manage to grab the attention of a security guard - a mountain of a man with more head than neck - who frowns and walks their way.

“Uh … Sebastian …” Kurt tugs on his boyfriend’s sleeve. “I think we’ve been spotted!”

Sebastian glances down the barricade and spots the guard coming toward them. He’s not rushing, so he obviously doesn’t consider them a threat.

“Nah. Don’t worry about him.”

“But I think he has a Taser!” Kurt points out nervously.

“He’ll have to catch us before he can use it!”

“Believe it or not, that doesn’t exactly fill me with confidence!”

“Relax! I’ve got this under control!” Sebastian bends his knees and jumps higher, windmilling his arms over his head while he’s airborne. Kurt doesn’t see how making an ass out of himself means he has things under control. But seeing as luck is a way of life for Sebastian, it does the trick. When the woman spots him waving frantically from behind the barricade, she smiles wide, teeth gleaming unnaturally from the UV lights. “Hey! Sebastian! Let them up!” she calls to the guard marching their way. “Let them up!”

The guard, nearly upon them, seems to have no problem switching gears last minute and moves the barricade a sliver to let them pass.

Kurt, getting an up close and personal look at what is - yes - a Taser, has a mini heart attack.

“Oh my God!” she squeals. “Long time, no see!” She motions to a staircase that leads to the stage, greeting Sebastian at the top with open arms.

“I’ve got good reasons,” he says, hugging her back. He bumps Kurt’s hip with his own when she lets him go. “This is my boyfriend, Kurt.”

Smiling brown eyes land on Kurt and look him over. “Wow!” She offers Kurt her hand to shake, gives Sebastian an approving wink. “Very nice! Nice to see you finally using your charm and sense of humor to land you a man with class.”

Kurt decides there and then that he likes this woman. Not because she called him a man with class, which was nice, but because she described Sebastian as charming, and with a sense of humor.

She didn’t mention anything about his money.

“That tends to happen when you grow up and come to your senses,” Sebastian says bashfully.

“Word. So, you guys look a little beaten and battered.”

“You might say that.” Kurt rubs his arms, knowing he’ll be covered in black and blues tomorrow - bruises he’ll need to explain to everyone he encounters if he doesn’t want them to think his boyfriend covered him in head to toe hickeys. Which he might if they’re going to speculate over his sex life unsolicited anyway. Too bad Rachel isn’t here, he thinks. The jealousy in her eyes would be delicious.

“You guys through mixing with the rabble?” Viola asks.

“You know it,” Sebastian says.

“Well, you’re welcome to hang in the wings for the rest of the concert. Here …” she reaches into her pocket and pulls out two stickers, taking the liberty of affixing one to each boys’ thigh before Kurt gets the chance to complain about the catastrophic effects of adhesive on his jeans. “These’ll keep security off your back. They’ll even get you back stage after.”

“Thanks a bunch!” Sebastian says. “ I knew you’d hook us up!”

“Anytime. Look, I’ve got to get back stage before intermission. If I don’t see you later, it was nice meeting you, Kurt.”

“Likewise,” Kurt says.

She jabs a thumb in Sebastian’s direction. “Keep an eye on this one. He has a tendency to get lost.”

Kurt watches her hop behind the curtain, disappearing in the cover provided by a nearby fog machine, thrown by the poignancy of her parting remark. He turns to his boyfriend gazing out across the stage with a look of genuine joy on his face that leaves Kurt speechless.

“What?” Sebastian asks, sheepish when he catches Kurt staring.

“Of course you would know the stage hand of a professional rock band.”

“No, Julian does,” Sebastian defends. “They went to Berkeley together. From what I hear, they bonded over Nueva Cancion, small batch craft beers, CBD gummies, and the trammels of having a broken younger sibling. The only contribution I’ve made to this friendship thus far is knowing Julian … unfortunately.”

“That’s apparently enough in the circles you run in.” Kurt chuckles. “But I would have thought you’d be just as famous. You know, your name and number written on bathroom walls from here to the space station ...”

Sebastian’s expression changes, becomes muddled, every default expression he has scrolling by on his face, trying to land on an appropriate one. When he can’t seem to settle, he shoves his hands in his pockets and looks down at his shoes, still trying to choose.

Kurt doesn’t know why, but he feels like he needs to apologize. They’ve exchanged jokes back and forth like this before, but this one … it landed differently. “I’m sorry. I insulted you, didn’t I? I didn’t mean to.”

“It’s not that,” Sebastian says, shaking his head with a look in his eyes like even he’s trying to make himself believe that that’s not what he feels. “It’s just …” Kurt watches Sebastian’s lips move, trapped between words. “I’m not ashamed of who I am, and I’m not going to apologize for who I was, but … I don’t want you to see the Whore of Babylon every time you look at me.”

Kurt wants to tell him that he doesn’t. It’s simply a fall back joke. The two of them have tons of them. It’s not even one of the crueler ones as far as Kurt is concerned. It’s never bothered Sebastian before …

No. Kurt can’t say that. It bothers Sebastian when Julian calls him that. It bothers him a lot.

“Who do you want to be?” Kurt asks, taking Sebastian’s hand and moving closer, as impossibly close as he can until he becomes Sebastian’s entire field of view. “Who do you want me to see when I look at you?”

Sebastian loops his arms around Kurt’s waist, threading his fingers into his belt loops. He holds him tight and leans back, lifting Kurt off the ground a couple of inches, grinning when Kurt yelps and squirms. “I want to be yours. Just … your man. Kurt Hummel’s boyfriend, and that’s all.”

“Just Kurt Hummel’s boyfriend?” Kurt repeats with a laugh when he tries to touch the ground and Sebastian refuses to put him down.

Sebastian rolls his eyes up, stares contemplatively at the flashing lights overhead while he swings Kurt back and forth, only the soles of his shoes brushing the floor. “How about … Kurt Hummel’s sexy ass boyfriend?”

Sebastian sets Kurt down, but Kurt doesn’t move from his boyfriend’s embrace. They rock there, swaying side to side, reminiscent of middle-school kids at their first official dance, even though the music being performed doesn’t support their rhythm, pounding like a short-circuiting jackhammer locked in a metal box. But Sebastian’s arms around Kurt’s waist transport him to a different plane of existence entirely, where the crowds down below and the band on stage become nothing but static.

Sebastian’s lips brush Kurt’s forehead and he wonders if Sebastian knows, the way he seems to know about everything, that forehead kisses are one of his weaknesses.

If he didn’t know before, he definitely figured it out.

“Noted,” Kurt says, tilting his chin up to capture Sebastian’s next kiss with his lips. “I’ll look into having a shirt printed up.”

***

“Okay, so … uh … that there’s Ursa Major.” Sebastian points to a series of stars up and to the left above their heads. Kurt squints in that direction, trying to make out an outline of a bear in the group Sebastian indicates. If he unfocuses his eyes, he can kind of see it. He can also see a pig, Mario’s go-kart, one of Rachel’s carousel horses, and that girl from The Grudge. “And that over there is Ursa Minor. And those three stars in a line all together, that’s Orion’s Belt. That makes this whole section of sky …” Sebastian holds up his hands, framing between his thumbs and forefingers the portion of the heavens they’ve been staring at “… The Capricorn Sky.”

Kurt turns his head from its resting place on yet another of Sebastian’s Dalton sweatshirts, folded in a square on the windshield of his Mustang. Kurt wasn’t too surprised when Sebastian suggested they lie atop his hood and stare up at the stars when the easier and more practical option would have been to put the top down. After all, Sebastian literally jumped on the hood of his father’s Aston Martin - a memory that still haunts Kurt, causes him considerable pain when it flashes behind his eyes. However, being his baby and all, Sebastian did add the caveat that if Kurt scuffs his paint, he’ll be paying to have it buffed out.

Kurt retaliated, saying he could buff it out himself no problem wearing nothing but a tank top and Sebastian’s old gym shorts, and that if Sebastian was a good boy, he’d let him watch.

Sebastian agreed to those terms, but he had a difficult time climbing up on the car after that.

“Really?” Kurt asks, partially skeptical.

“Kurt …” Sebastian looks at him, intelligent green eyes brimming with mild hurt at Kurt questioning his authority on this subject. But then his mouth splits into a grin and he laughs. “How the fuck should I know? They’re stars! They all look the same! Big balls of gas thousands of miles away that some drunk asshole on a ship hundreds of years ago claimed made pictures and I’m supposed to remember them all? This is just what guys do. They look up at the stars and identify shit.”

“I don’t!”

“Well …” Sebastian says, waving his hand in a vague gesture.

“Wait … what’s The Capricorn Sky then? Did you make that up? Because that sounds like a limited edition Starbucks drink.”

“It’s the title of a book by Colly Campbell. Not my usual cup of tea, but it was decently entertaining.”

“Damn.” Kurt shakes his head in mock disappointment. “I was impressed, too. Smart guys get me hot, you know.”

“Well in that case, I actually do know a few constellations. The popular ones … big dipper ... little dipper … Pauly Shore …” Sebastian slides closer while Kurt’s laughter fades.

“Trying to save face, Smythe?”

Sebastian’s smile is bashful, smooth around the edges. Though Sebastian’s smiles haven’t held their razor edge for a while. “Maybe a little.”

“And how do I know you’re not putting me on again?”

“Because I have an app for it.” Sebastian reaches into his pocket and pulls out his iPhone. He swipes his finger over the screen, searching through his apps until he finds the one he’s looking for. He raises his phone, focuses on the darkness, and takes a shot of the night sky. Then he shows it to Kurt.

“Wow.” Kurt moves the image with his fingertip, reading the names of constellations as the app identifies them. “Now that’s impressive.”

“Isn’t it though?”

“Five bucks says this app was developed by a twelve-year-old.”

“You’re probably right.” Sebastian selects a hyperlink in one of the sections and scrolls through the details. “Oh hey - according to this, you can’t see Orion’s Belt in the sky over North Carolina at night during the summer. Good to know.”

Kurt giggles, the fact that Sebastian wasn’t just wrong, but nowhere near the ballpark, makes his fronting even more hilarious.

Something gooshy hits Kurt’s forehead and he jerks upright. He scans the area around them in a mild panic, looking for anyone who might be lurking nearby, throwing things.

After the concert, they roads out of Raleigh had been cluttered with cars, turning the highway into a parking lot in both directions. Sebastian suggested they go for a drive, hang out for a while until the traffic died down. He took them to another one of his thinking spots high atop a hill with nothing else for miles around - no lights, no houses, and (since they had to drive over a gravelly road at 2 miles per hour to get there) no easy way down if they get ambushed by wild animals. Or vagrants.

Or homophobes.

But Kurt hears nothing, sees no one. Not a single shadow against the black. Another wet splotch hits him on the head from straight above and he glares at the sky. “What the …?”

“What’s up, babe?”

“I think …” Kurt wipes at his forehead and stares horrified at his hand in the dark “… a bird pooped on me!”

Sebastian switches on his flashlight app and aims it at Kurt’s head.

“Ah! God! Bas!” Kurt screeches, shutting his eyes and squeezing them tight “Are you trying to blind me?”

“Yup. That’s the goal. You’ve uncovered my brilliant plan. I’m trying to help you, you walnut! Now hold still.” He takes Kurt’s wrist and re-aims the light down at his hand. “I don’t think …” He leans in close, examining the wet spot. “It’s not bird shit. It’s just water. Probably from one of the trees---” Sebastian jumps, scooting back as if poked. He, too, looks threateningly up at the sky before wiping the back of his hand down his cheek. “It got me, too!”

The next drop pegs the hood of the car, darkening the paint. Those four drops are the only warning Kurt and Sebastian get before the skies open up and a deluge starts, water pummeling the ground and the car around them, the roar deafening.

“Shit, shit, shit, shit!” Sebastian grumbles, sliding down the hood, then rounding to Kurt’s side to help him. “Get your ass in the car quick! If you get drenched, I’m not letting you in!”

“Nice,” Kurt remarks, though it doesn’t go over his head that Sebastian helps him first, opening his door and ushering him inside before he races to his own door. Kurt follows Sebastian with his eyes, biting back a smile when Sebastian hits a wet patch, slides three feet, spins in a complete circle, and then, thrown off track, starts running the wrong way. He finally makes it to his side of the car, throws open the door, and ducks inside as lightning splits the sky overhead. The interior of the car glows white as they stare at one another, breathing hard. The thunder that follows rumbles for close to a full minute.

When the noise dies down, they burst out laughing all over again.

“That happened fast!” Kurt says, pointing in wordless ridicule at Sebastian, who’s twice as soaked as Kurt and looks like a drowned rat.

“Yeah, it did. Jesus Christmas!” He gathers up the edge of his shirt and rings it out onto the floor mat. “Who ordered up the tsunami?”

“Don’t say that!” Kurt presses wrinkled fingertips to Sebastian’s lips. “After everything that’s happened to us on this trip, you don’t want to tempt fate!”

“So true!”

Kurt doesn’t pull his fingers away for Sebastian’s mouth, and Sebastian starts kissing them one by one. When he reaches Kurt’s pinkie, Sebastian takes him by the wrist and presses a kiss there, too, traveling up to leave another one in his palm.

Kurt’s heart skips, every muscle in his body reacting, sparking off with tiny fires one by one by one. Water drips from the hair at the nape of Sebastian’s neck, rolls down his skin to the collar of his tee. How that isn’t absolutely driving Sebastian crazy, Kurt doesn’t know.

But Jesus, he’s sexy when he’s wet!

Kurt counts each drop as it hits the forest green fabric to keep from tearing off his own clothes and begging Sebastian to continue those kisses over every inch of his body. Not because he doesn’t want that, but because with everything on this trip, he’s trying to make this moment last. But when Sebastian sits fully up again, Kurt can’t help himself. He leans forward, bringing his mouth to Sebastian’s neck, licking up the drops with the tip of his tongue before they can make it to Sebastian’s shirt, moving up to his hairline to catch them before they even fall.

“God, Kurt,” Sebastian moans when Kurt’s tongue flicks along the sensitive skin behind his ear. “Can we …?”

“Yes,” Kurt says, reaching up to start undoing the buttons of his own shirt.

“You … you didn’t even let me finish,” Sebastian stammers, wasting no time following suit and peeling off his own wet garment. “How do you know what I’m …?”

“Were you going to ask if we can fuck?” Kurt snorts when Sebastian startles as if he’d slapped him across the face.

“Uh … possibly …”

“Then the answer is yes. Do you have any objections?”

Sebastian’s stunned expression melts into a conniving grin. “Not. A. One.”

Sebastian launches himself over the center console and into the back seat, grabbing Kurt’s arm and tugging to get him to follow. Kurt starts kissing Sebastian before he even makes it over the gear shift, kicks off his shoes and unbuttons his pants before he’s anywhere near a seat.

“Do you have a towel?” Kurt mutters when his knee hits leather.

“For what?” Sebastian mumbles against Kurt’s neck.

“For your seats.”

“We’ve already gotten the seats wet. They’ll dry. They’re leather … made from cows … and cows get wet.”

Kurt snickers. For a boy who acts so edgelord regarding his sexual prowess, Kurt quite enjoys the fact that lately he turns into a bumbling fool when he gets excited.

“That’s not … mmph … that’s not what I mean. There are ways of baptizing your seats that don’t involve water, Bas. Things that will crust in the seams … leave stains...”

“Oh. Right.” Sebastian laughs. “Okay. Just … mmph … try not to splooge all over them, will ya?”

“Don’t worry …” Kurt grunts, shifting his weight and adjusting his balance to give Sebastian easier access to his body. It’s a tight squeeze, a bit of a juggle, but once he does, once Sebastian preps them both and gets there, slides in and finds the right spot, Kurt almost loses control of his legs. “If I do,” he says, his voice breathy and needy and begging for Sebastian to move for crying out loud! “I’ll detail it for you.”

“Detail?” Sebastian repeats, his voice just as shaky, just as needy. “You know how to do that?”

“Of course I do. As it is, your baby … mmph … looks like it’s a bit overdue.”

“Bite … your … tongue,” Sebastian snaps, punctuating each word with a particularly forceful thrust. Kurt gasps as Sebastian adopts a slow rhythm, shuts his eyes to fully absorb the sublime pull of it. “I take excellent care of my baby.”

And there he goes again, making another remark that can be taken two ways.

“You have leather seats. They need going over with a horse hair brush … a rub down with Maguiar’s and a microfiber towel … polish your trim with some Aerospace Protectant …” Kurt’s voice begins to fade, lost in the ebb and flow of Sebastian’s body working into his own. “A-and when this vacation is over, I’m dying to hit those wheels with some non-acid cleaner and a bottle of tire shine. I’ll make it … make it look just like … black glass …”

“Oh God …” Sebastian’s body shudders, the hand that had reached around and found Kurt’s cock going still before it began. “That’s … that’s it. I just came.”

Kurt’s face snaps back over his shoulder, desperate to check if Sebastian is lying. Either he’s an incredible actor or no, he’s not. “What!?”

“I’m … I’m done,” Sebastian says with an embarrassed chuckle.

“You have to be joking! Please, tell me you’re joking!”

“It’s your own fault. You shouldn’t talk cars around me.”

“But you don’t know anything about cars!”

“True, but the way you sound when you talk shop … oof!” Sebastian lowers his forehead to the curve of Kurt’s spine and shivers. “It’s really erotic.”

“OhmyGod!” Kurt groans. “Sebastian! You ass---!”

“All right, all right. Hold your horses.” Sebastian rolls gingerly to one side. Holding Kurt against his body, he takes him with him, balancing to lie down carefully on the back seat while staying buried inside his boyfriend. “I guess I can go a little longer.”

“How very gracious of you,” Kurt growls, allowing himself to be manipulated, lifted and carried like a half-naked rag doll. Sebastian settles his rear into his seat, scoots down a hair with his back against the inner panel, then positions Kurt in his lap. The change in angle and in depth has Kurt seeing stars, brighter and more brilliant than the ones outside.

It’s not the easiest position in the world for Kurt to move in, but he suspects Sebastian has something else planned.

“What do you want me to do?” Kurt asks, moaning when Sebastian slides both hands down his body to his groin - one wrapping around Kurt’s cock, the other reaching further down to caress his balls.

“Just stay like this and let me touch you.” Sebastian moves both hands in different maddening directions. Kurt reclines against him, and Sebastian starts to buck up slowly. “There you go. How’s that? Do you like that?”

“Y-yes,” Kurt replies, limp in Sebastian’s arms, shuddering with each roll of his hips, each pass of his hand.

“What do you like about it?” Sebastian presses with kisses to Kurt’s temple.

“I like lying on you like this. Being close to you …” This isn’t dirty talk. It’s conversation. Sebastian wants to know how he makes Kurt feel. They could have this conversation anytime, but doing it now, in the midst of making love, feels intensely intimate. Extremely sensual. “I like feeling your heart beat against my back, your skin against mine, and your hands ...” Kurt swallows hard.

“What about my hands?”

“They’re just so … sure. So talented. So … so … mmm fucking good at this …”

Sebastian presses more kisses and a smile to Kurt’s skin. “Anything else?”

“We’re not rushing. There’s no race to the end. Oh God …” Kurt’s legs trembles when Sebastian’s hand on his cock speeds up, but the one on his balls slows down. “I want to stay like this, just like this, and listen to the rain. How long do you think we can stay this way?”

“How long would you like to stay this way?” Sebastian asks. There’s a whine in it. He may be the one in the lead, but he’s not necessarily in control. He’s becoming fully hard again, but he’s oversensitive. But he fights against that to give this to Kurt.

To satisfy someone other than himself.

“Forever? At least till morning. Can we watch the sun rise this way?”

“I’ll do my best. But there doesn’t only have to be a round one. I can make you cum … let you have a breather … then start all over again … keep going … and going … and going …”

Kurt thinks about being locked against Sebastian’s body with his boyfriend inside him, all over him, caressing him, kissing him, making him cum all night long. “That’s … good to know,” he whimpers.

Sebastian can’t competently kiss Kurt on the mouth in this position, which is the only thing Kurt doesn’t like about it. But Kurt will rectify that later. Watching the rain fall outside the window while Sebastian makes love to him reminds him of his fantasy from before - of being in a hotel room, making love in front of a window with the curtains open.

That would have been fun, but this is way better.

He feels like he’s floating, being carried on a tide, the wind and the rain rocking the car adding to his sensation of weightlessness in Sebastian’s arms.

Sebastian changes speed again, changes direction, bucks up harder and faster at odd intervals, then stops to let Kurt simmer. “Do you like that, baby?” he whispers in a broken voice as Kurt’s legs and arms become restless, hands grabbing for whatever they can touch and hold, reaching behind to thread into Sebastian’s hair and gently tug. “Do want me to keep doing that?”

“Yes … please, yes …” The change in pet names from babe to baby flips switches inside Kurt’s brain, lighting him up from the inside like the forks of electricity dividing the sky. Sebastian’s thrusts remain shallow but they pick up in pace, and his hand, traveling leisurely from the base of Kurt’s cock to the head, matches it. Kurt tries to move his hips, help Sebastian out, but that’s met by Sebastian’s hands stopping in their tracks.

“Uh-uh-uh. None of that,” Sebastian teases. “I like you at my mercy.”

“Sebastian …” Kurt says, a plea and a warning all at once.

“Now you stay still,” Sebastian says into Kurt’s shoulder, his hot breath tickling Kurt’s skin, “and I’ll give you what you want.”

Kurt swallows hard, lies still, but that’s not his first instinct. His first instinct is to argue, to say he’d like to be an active participant in this act of love that they’re sharing thank you very much! But there’s nothing wrong with taking every once in a while without needing to give.

Or being helpless with someone you love.

Good things do come to those who wait, and Sebastian had said that Kurt was a good thing.

Sebastian starts up again when Kurt gives him no indication that he’s going to move, going as excrutiatingly slow as possible to begin with, probably to put Kurt in his place. Kurt clears his mind, lets the frustration in his body take a sidebar as he concentrates on the rain. The floating sensation comes back as the wind picks up, seeming to mirror Sebastian’s movements. Or maybe Sebastian is the one doing the mirroring, linking his stroking, his thrusting to the rhythm of the weather.

Sebastian is the first to signal how close he is to cumming by moaning Kurt’s name.

“Kurt … oh, God, Kurt … you feel amazing, Kurt …”

“Sebastian,” Kurt murmurs, taking advantage of the only body part he’s apparently allowed to move. “Sebastian …”

“Yes, Kurt …” Sebastian moans, voice changing, not entirely his own but an amalgam of what he’s doing, who he is when he’s around Kurt. “Say my name again. Please …”

“Sebastian … Sebastian …” Kurt chants, first out of request, but then over and over until Sebastian’s name doesn’t sound like a word anymore. But it’s not just a word. It’s the word, the only one he can think of, one he starts crying as his fighting not to move makes him cum harder than he ever has before. And when he’s done cumming hot over Sebastian’s hand, he keeps saying it, his throat dry with it until it is literally the last word on his lips.

“There,” Sebastian pants, shivering bodily as what’s left of his second orgasm evaporates into Kurt’s body. “I hope that made up for me finishing early.”

Kurt smirks. “It was … acceptable.”

“Acceptable, huh?” Sebastian says, and Kurt can hear him smirking, too.

“Yup.”

“A-ha. Well, I know me,” he says, retrieving his wet tee from the floor to clean them both up with, “and I’m excellent.”

“If you say so.”

“How do you feel?” Sebastian asks in a softer, less teasing tone, one that sends the liquid warmth of a long, relaxing orgasm pooling in Kurt’s stomach shooting out to the rest of his body.

“I feel …” Kurt rolls his head to look up over his shoulder at Sebastian “… radiant.”

Sebastian drops his head, giggles into Kurt’s neck. “Jesus Christmas, Kurt! We’re not in a Jane Austen novel! You could use a normal word like good … excellent … bitchin’.”

Kurt snorts. “Bitchin’?”

“It’s a word!” Sebastian giggles again, offering up no excuses for his horrendous vocabulary.

“I’m sure it is. That doesn’t mean we should use it,” Kurt counters, which makes Sebastian giggle more. Kurt removes himself from his boyfriend’s flaccid, overworked cock, rolling onto his side to face him. “Sebastian …”

“Yes?”

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Go for it.”

“Why me?” Kurt asks, inching closer, lips ghosting Sebastian’s mouth, enticing him to answer.

“What do you mean?” Sebastian asks, rising to the bait of a kiss … then another …

“I mean, of all the boys you could have chosen for your ruse, why me?”

Sebastian stops kissing Kurt, which Kurt had been trying to avoid. Sebastian rolls his head on his shoulders and huffs into the air, as if this question is beneath him. Or so far behind them, his motives don’t matter. “I told you. My dad …”

“I know what you said,” Kurt interrupts gently, sliding down Sebastian’s body to rest his head on his shoulder. This may not be the time to ask, but he can’t shake what Charlotte said … He chose you for a reason. So why won’t Sebastian tell him what that reason is? “But I’ve always found that a little difficult to swallow. How in the world was I the first person that came to mind? You go to Dalton Academy. There has to be tons of boys from prestigious families with more impressive pedigrees than me. Boys that you could stand better, that you wouldn’t have to fight …”

“Fighting with you is half the fun,” Sebastian says, clicking his tongue.

Kurt gazes at him, eyes imploring. “Tell me the truth, Sebastian? Please?”

Sebastian sighs, fingers fidgeting, tapping against Kurt’s spine. Like he’s playing a piano, Kurt thinks for a second time this trip till he it dawns on him. No. Like a violin.

“You’re right. There’re a lot of boys at Dalton from so-called prestigious families, with money and connections and yada yada yada. Boys who’ve been after me since I enrolled in school, who watch me everywhere I go with disgusting moon eyes. Boys who would do anything I ask them to with the snap of my fingers.” Sebastian stops tapping, his fingertips moving to Kurt’s cheek, paving feather light paths down his skin. “A lot of polite, vanilla, cookie-cutter Dalton boys. But there’s only one Kurt Hummel.”

Kurt sighs, part frustration, part flattery. “Are you ever going to explain it to me?”

“Maybe.” Sebastian plants a kiss on Kurt’s forehead, his lips coming to rest there. “I just … need to decide how.”

“You could always start at the beginning? Stop when you reach the end?”

Sebastian rolls his eyes and kisses Kurt again. “Where’s the fun in that?”

[cilliansaccent]

The Peaky Designer - Cillian Fanfic, Chapter 18

Hello, welcome back. Below is the next instalment of my fanfiction!

Leave a like or a comment if you liked it, or if I can do anything better! Please, it would mean the world and to understand if anyone is enjoying my writing. Also, sharing/reblogging would be even better.

PLEASE READ:

I will not be including Cillian’s family as it’s kinda weird since he has children lmao. Just a mention of his parents and a previous lover.

I will indicate in a chapter if there is smut in the beginning and before the actual scene!!

I will add trigger warnings if there is any!!

There is a variety of levels of swearing during a chapter, I will not hold back, everyone swears.

The timestamp for the Fic is now 2016 and onwards!!

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Background: Gabrijela Babic is a Croatian girl from Sydney, Australia. She is born in the year 1991 on the 24th of December. She studies a Fashion degree in a University with a major in Game Design as well. Her teacher in the fashion designer class managed to nail an Internship on the set of Peaky Blinders with the shows very own Costume Designer, Allison McCosh. There, she travels to London for under a year to learn how to be one, working alongside the actors as well the man she admires, Cillian Murphy. But, her platonic feelings for the man begins to grow into something more, and she wonders whether she should pursue them or let him go for fear of her strict parents and her three older brothers…

Characters:

Swantje Paulina as Gabrijela Babic (swalina on Instagram)

Cillian Murphy

Word Count: 2,918

!!Warnings!!: Intense smut at the end of the chapter! 

Date: Februrary 2017

Chapter Name: Surprise! 

Brief Chapter Outline: Gabrijela finds it hard to be without Cillian before she falls ill and gets some very unexpected news... and a very unexpected guest at her gig...

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It was a very odd feeling waking up each day without the man she loved beside her. 

Gabrijela had a lot of restless nights despite talking to him almost every single night. Her heart was breaking and she missed his gentle kisses every morning. 

She still had not told her parents about her time with Cillian, she was not ready to tell them that she was dating an older man. She knew a hundred per cent her father would freak the fuck out and would do anything in his power to break them apart. 

She wasn't going to lose Cillian just because of her father's old-style views. 

But with her missing Cillian and the fears of her family's views, she was happy to be home once more. She had missed Sydney a lot and the warm weather, a little more predictable. 

Though, Gabrijela did not miss the annoying bitch Lucia who hounded her private messages and her many calls. It seemed that with the rest of her friendship group they had also ignored her as bigger issues had risen up and none of them was taking Lucia's shit. 

Gabrijela continued on with her life and as some weeks went by, she began to feel sick. Her body felt sore, especially her breasts and she had also missed her period. The period bit didn't bother her too much, she often missed it when she was off her pill. 

Yet, when she felt nauseous and felt like throwing up around her most favourite food... She knew something was wrong. Her mother wanted to come with her to the doctor but Gabrijela was sure she would be fine. 

So her mother stopped pestering and off Gabrijela went. 

Once inside the office, she made a light talk with the lady doctor until it was time to tell her about her symptoms. 

"Hm, have you been sexually active lately?" She asked. 

It was now seven days into February, "About a month ago, I was." She murmured. 

The doctor sat back and pulled something out of the caddy behind her. It was a pee cup. 

"Take a wee in this and come back. We will test whether you are pregnant or not." The doctor said. 

The word pregnant clang through her brain and she paled, "I can't be." She whispered. 

"Just, go do it okay? And then we can talk after." She said gently and Gabbie stood to go pee in a cup. 

She returned, still shaken up. She was careful with taking her pill, she was so careful. 

The doctor popped in the stick, gave it a few minutes. Then checked the stick, "Well, it seems you are pregnant." 

"No," Gabrijela whispered taking the stick, "Oh god no I can't be. I was careful!" 

"Not all the time pills can work." The doctor watched Gabrijela, "What would you like to do?" 

She sat back as she held the stick, how the fuck was she going to tell Cillian? Her parents? Fuck that. But... 

"I want to talk to my boyfriend first. See how he feels... about it. May I keep this?" She looked up. 

"Of course. Here pop it into this bag." She handed her a small waste bag and she popped it in. "If you need anything, come in anytime. Whatever your decision, I'm here also." 

Gabrijela smiled and tucked the bag into her handbag as she left. As she headed to the station, got on the train she just... floated away. She wasn't sure how she was going to tell anyone about this. 

She was panicking within herself and put on a fake smile when her mother asked her how she was. 

"Perfectly fine. Probably just ate something weird and making me all queasy." Gabrijela replied. "I gotta go shower and get ready for my gig tonight." She kissed her mother's cheek and hurried upstairs. 

She tried to call up Cillian as well, knowing he would still be awake at this time. But no use. It didn't even call. So she went to have a shower, tied her hair up in a high ponytail with two strands of her hair fall down her temples. 

She pulled on a black lacy bodysuit with a short miniskirt. She finished it off with a pair of white converse shoes, the necklace Cillian gave her and simple gold studs. 

By the time she was ready, she was off with her guitar in an Uber into the city. There she chatted with her group of friends who were already there. They drank a little bit, Gabbie going only for one glass of wine. 

Then it was time to play. Tonight's theme was rock, power rock and a little bit of metal. Their first song was from Beast in Black, From Hell with Love. The pub was pumping with the hard beat, but it got people hyped as they danced before the stage. Elijah was their main singer and he had a very powerful voice, especially when it came to rock music. 

Gabbie loved the songs from Beast in Black. It got her going especially when it came to her exercise. 

Their next song was Die by the Blade, Born Again and Sweet True Lies. Benjamin then sang Kiss of the Cobra King by Powerwolf and then various other rock music. 

Then it was Gabbie's turn. Everyone loved her the most and she felt so at ease, especially after today. She sang I Am the Fire by Halestorm, White Flag by Bishop Briggs and to end their time on stage, Faster by Within Temptation. 

As she finished the song off with an encore for the last minute of the song, her eyes fell on someone particular in the crowd. 

Eased back in a table a chair on the raised level in the back, a tall glass of Guinness in hand... was Cillian. 

Wait. What the hell? Was she seeing this right? As the crowd cheered and took photos as they bowed and set their instruments down, Gabrijela slowly walked down the stage to the man who stood from his chair.

He was dressed in his classic skinny black jeans and a blue almost black buttoned down-shirt with faint checkered design, the sleeves were rolled up. 

"Oh my god," She felt tears sting her eyes as she was overcome with emotion and flung herself into his arms. 

Cillian laughed and wrapped his arms around her, lifting her and spun her, "Darling, my beautiful, beautiful darling." He whispered. 

"Cillian! Cilly!" She laughed some more, pulling back to look into his eyes. "It's really you!" 

He grinned, "It is really me, darling. Oh god, it is good to see you again." He cupped her face, his accent washing over her, cleansing her soul. He leaned in and kissed her deeply and she melted into his body.

She linked her arms around his neck and returned the kiss with equal passion. Cillian's arms moved around her waist and held her tight against his body. 

They continued to kiss until someone cleared their throat behind them, Gabrijela pulled back to see her bandmates all watching the pair. Elijah had a raised brow and a cheeky smile, "Wow, okay. I'm gonna be honest here but I seriously did not think you really mean Cillian Murphy. I thought you were pulling my arm." 

"Of course you dummies wouldn't believe her, she didn't show you her other photos," Maya smirked. 

Gabbie blushed as she kept her arm around Cillian's waist, "Shut up! Ugh!" She laughed, gazing up at Cillian with so much love in her eyes. 

"Nice to finally meet you, man," Elijah held out his hand and Cillian shook it along with the rest of them. "Come on, sit on our table." 

"Alright." Cillian nodded and grabbed his beer as they headed to a large booth that fit them all. 

Gabrijela was still aghast at the sight of Cillian. He was here. With her. Right now. "How?" She asked her lover. 

"How what?" He sipped his beer and set the glass down. 

"You being here?" She gripped his hand under the table, her other hand pushing back his hair which had grown out longer now. 

"By... a plane?" He smiled, a cheeky glint in those beautiful eyes. 

"Smartass." She shook her head. "But really. I've been trying to call you like the past three days." 

"Well, I was getting ready before the flight and I spent those two days in the air," Cillian said, his hand cupped her cheek, gazing longingly into her eyes. "Take it as an early Valentines present." 

She giggled, V-Day was next week, "Cheeky bastard." She whispered and leaned in as they began to kiss again. 

"Excuse me!" Maya made a face, "Not in front of us. Keep that in the bedroom." Maya shook her head. "But anyway, I gotta go care for the bar. Also." Maya turned back to the pair, "Bring him to the wedding next Saturday. We'll fit him on a table." She said and headed off. 

Cillian raised a brow, "Wedding?" 

"Yep! Maya is getting married. The one I told you about." She pecked his lips. Elijah gagged. 

"Ah yeah. That's right." He nodded as he sat back, Gabrijela close to his side. 

"Oh, so you've been talking to him about us? I hope only good things, right?" Karsyn looked at Cillian with his smirk. 

"Of course. Only good things." Cillian nodded and felt Gabbie squeeze his thigh under the table. He felt himself harden from the touch. 

"I want to mention how good you guys played." Cillian praised, "Crowd was crazy." 

"Thanks, all help and gratitude to Maya and Ben. They deal with the marketing and we get new fans every couple of weeks. The bar is always packed from Monday to Sunday even if we don't play during the week." Elijah replied as he took a swig of his beer. 

"Awesome. I'll definitely be here tomorrow night as well, and Sunday." Cillian felt Gabrijela's hand move higher on his thigh. He tried not to shift too much. 

"Sweet. Might bring extra people cause of who you are." Elijah teased. 

"Yeah, yeah." Cillian rolled his eyes before the boys launched into a debate on music. 

Gabrijela couldn't stop staring at her love, she had missed his freckles, his sharp jaw, his eyes... God his lips too. Everything about him. So she kissed his cheek and headed to the bar to see Maya. 

"Hey," She said to her. 

"Hiya girlie. How's it goin'?" She asked as she prepared a mocktail for her. 

"Good! So good. I can't believe he is really here. I never expected that." She looked over to find Cillian glance at her and wink. 

"Girl, I- fuck you two are so in love! Makes me giddy." Maya grinned as she handed her the glass. "But I can also see you want to do more than just kiss him." 

Gab blushed, "Yeah. And I wanted to see if you can vouch for me tonight, I'm gonna tell my mum and dad I'm going to stay with you tonight cause you are closer and I'm too tired." 

"Hell yeah I can, don't you worry. You go get that man." She wiggled her eyebrows. 

"Shut up." She stuck her tongue out at her, "Take my guitar will ya." She said and headed back to the booth. 

By the time it was midnight Gabrijela wanted to go already. So Cillian stood and they said their goodbyes to the group and headed out. It was a warm summer's night. 

"So, how you getting home?" Cillian asked as they stood off to the side. 

"With you." Gabrijela turned to him, placing her hands on his chest. 

"With me? Your parents cool with that?" He asked as his hands rested on her hips. 

"Totally, they think I'm going back with Maya." She pressed her lips to his, "Now, Cillian. Make up the time we've been apart." 

He let out a growl that made heat explode between her legs as he called over a cab. 

They got in and it wasn't long they were at the hotel positioned on Darling Harbour. In they went and up the elevator. 

Cillian had her against the wall beside the door to his room, their kiss feverish. She gripped his shirt, unbuttoning it. 

"Baby," She muttered as his lips went to her neck. She found his key in the back pocket of his jeans as she tried to unlock the door. It swung open and she broke away from him and stepped back inside. 

"Come, Cillian. Have what is yours." She bit her bottom lip and he came at her, shucking off his shirt and threw it aside as he pulled her back in for another hot kiss. 

Her bag dropped as she turned, his lips along her neck before he bent her over the bed. "No waiting to undress. I need you." He let out a groan as he unbuckled his pants then lifted up her skirt, unbuttoned the buttons of her bodysuit. She was wearing no panties. 

All the fucking better. 

His cock was hard and he was already leaking pre-cum, then in one swift movement, he was deep inside her warm sex. He let out a heavy groan, her own voice matching his in a way. 

"Oh fuck." She gripped the sheets, head tilted back with her mouth wide open. "Fuck me Cillian! Fuck me!" 

"Gladly." He said and began to move his hips. Her walls were tight around him, sucking him in with each drag as she clenched. She felt absolutely heavenly, he had wet dreams of her and woke up at night having to jack himself off with visions of her luscious body he was so drunk over. 

He was hard and fast, the sound of skin to skin filled the air. The desperation of their bodies was the fuel to his pounding into her. 

Cillian gripped her shoulder with one hand, gritting his teeth as he stared down at where they connected. "Shit! Gabrijela!" He gasped, head tilted back now. 

"Cillian! Don't stop baby. Don't stop!" She begged, being thrown forward by his powerful thrusts. But she wanted to see him badly, this wasn't enough. "I want to be on my back, I want to see you, baby." She let out a half cry half grunt. 

Cillian pulled out as she turned, she quickly pulled off her clothing but not her skirt when he crawled back on top of her and was back between her legs, resuming his rough fucking. 

Gabbie gripped his shoulders, holding his gaze. His expression was what stuck to her in her lewd dreams, the deep frown of pure concentration and pleasure as he took what he owed. 

He knew exactly what he was doing, he was very familiar with her body and what she liked. He leaned in and claimed her lips, swallowing up her moans as his arms slid under her to hold her shoulders. He was already close. 

Gabrijela could feel herself getting to that edge, it would be huge. Nothing like a cock she loved inside her rather than her own fingers or her toys. 

Cillian was so much better. She was seriously addicted to him. 

"Cillian! Oh, baby." She moaned as his head was tucked into her neck. "I'm gonna cum baby. Oh, Cilly!" She kept her legs around his waist, her body warming up and the pressure between her legs grew more and more. 

His soft grunts became louder against her ear, his voice doing that familiar crack she so loved from him before fireworks exploded between them. 

She let out a loud, blissful cry of his name as she tipped over the edge, his curses followed with her name as well came after her and she felt his warmth spread through her abdomen and up to her heart. 

He thrusted till they were done, a light coat of sweat covered them both. He held himself up with his hands on either side of her head, panting softly as he stared at her. "I love you," He gasped. 

"I love you too, baby." She smiled, running her hands up and down his sides, his jaw then down his arms. "Oh fuck, I love you." She pulled him down as his body lightly rested on hers and they kissed for god knows how long. 

He rolled off her but he kept her close even as she discarded her skirt. She laid on her side and stared at him, her smile warm and gentle. "My love," she muttered. 

"My love," he replied, his hand running slow lines down her back. 

"It was so hard to sleep without you at my side." She said softly, touching his jaw. 

"Same. I didn't like how quiet the house was. Without you, it was so cold." He pressed his forehead to hers. 

"Now you are here, though. I can't believe it still." She pressed a soft kiss to his lips. 

His smile matched hers, "Neither can I. You are in my arms, back with me." 

She giggled and snuggled close, they only had a light sheet across their waist, it was warm in the room. "My cilly." She sighed in happiness. 

He held her, still touching her slowly. He didn't expect her to fall asleep so fast but she needed it. Tonight was big and he was also exhausted from the flight. 

His eyelids felt heavy and he was soon fast asleep. He was beyond happy to have Gabbie back with him, so, so happy. 

[duker42]

Part2 Both sides are very wary because they still are Eldians/Marleyans and especially Levi is at loggerheads with the ship's captain (both share the same title and he has a hard time accepting that his experience isn't that helpful in the sea) yet they fancy one another.

I hate the fact that I accidentally deleted the first portion of the request. It was outlining that Pirates, Marleyan pirates are taking the Survey Corps to Marley.

💜Pirate Captain💜

“Talk to me like that again and I’ll throw you off the damn ship.” Y/N glared at the short ass stubborn man in front of her.

“Tch, how the fuck you plan on doing that?” Levi challenged, stepping closer to the Captain of the pirate ship they were on.

The Survey Corps needed to get to Marley and when the pirates had come to the shores, they had struck a tentative bargain with them. Passage in exchange for revenge.

The pirates with citizen of Marley who had been ousted, hunted by their former government as they roamed the waters of the ocean. They had much in common with the Eldians of Paradise Island, even if they didn’t trust one another.

Y/N and Captain Levi had clashed from the outset, Levi being stubborn and unwilling to believe that he shouldn’t be in charge of every aspect of the mission, including the ships steerage. The crew and his squad were wary of each other as well, each one doubtfully of the trustworthiness of the others.

Y/N was a Captain her own right, master of the ship and of the seas. She wanted nothing more than to put the annoyance standing in front of her in his place.

“Listen here you asshole. This is MY ship, MY crew. You do what I say or I will dump your ass back on that piece of shit island you call home and sail away, my headache magically relieved.” Y/N threatened.

“We have an agreement.” Levi growled, annoyed at the woman who constantly challenged his authority.

“Yes, I bring you to Marley. NOT you ordering my ass around.” Y/N replied as she walked away, done with the conversation.

Levi couldn’t look away from that ass as Y/N walked over to her first officer and ordered a course correction. He admired her, as much as he didn’t want to admit it. She was free, her ship and the wind and seas taking her where ever she wanted to go. It was reflected in her spirit and take no shit attitude. He grinned internally, he always liked his women feisty, not that he would ever tell her that.

~~~~~

“Ship!!! Starboard side. 1000 meters and closing! Marley flag!” The watch called front the crows nest.

Y/N’s eyes widened as she looked through her scope to see the ship making their way towards her own ship.

“Hard to port! Make ready the cannons, we can’t out run her!” Y/N bellowed as her crew sprang into action.

She started ordering the squad around, bellowing commands that years spent under Captain Levi had them jumping to obey. Levi found himself taking orders from her, impressed at her calm demeanor as she prepared to fight out on the open water.

The cannons blasted shot after shot at the incoming ship, as Y/N ordered reloads and manned the helm herself. The ropes were let out and other sails pulled in as the crew moved in a well choreographed dance. It was oblivious she had done this several times, be it in actual battle or in training the crew.

The air was tense as the ship grew closer and Y/N caught his attention, yelling at Levi.

“Can your men use that gear to get on board?” She demanded over the cannon blasts.

He looked at the ship and nodded his head. “Yeah, what do you have in mind?”

10 minutes later, the battle was over, the ship captured and it’s crew dead. They had fought to the end rather than surrendering. Levi wiped his blades as he watched Y/N nimbly jump from one rope to another to cross over to the enemy ship.

“Nice slicing. Years of killing Titans paid off.” Y/N commented.

Levi just gave her a look “Plenty of humans in the mix as well.”

Y/N just nodded and turned to the crew that had come over and the squad. “Strip the ship of anything we can use. Provisions, weapons, ammunition. We sink her in one hour.”

Levi started as he heard her plan. “Sink her?”

Y/N turned and sighed as she explained. “I don’t have enough crew to sail two ships. Plus Marley will be looking for her. Better to send her to the bottom of the ocean and let them think she was lost at sea.”

Levi nodded thoughtfully and ordered his men to help.

~~~~~

That night they held a small celebration on the ship. A wine barrel brought over from the enemy ship was opened and the cook made extra provision. Those crew that could play instruments set up a band and the crew and their guests had a party under the stars.

The lanterns gave the deck a lovely glow and the revelers were feeling fine as the drink set in their system.

Y/N looked at the Captain as he sat off to the side, watching the interactions of the crew and his soldiers but not joining the fun.

She had to admit he was a handsome man. Stoic yet quick witted, he had a foul mouth and sharp tongue that appealed to the pirate in Y/N. She took another gulp of her wine and decided to extend the olive branch.

“Dance with me.” Levi looked up as Y/N held out her hand. Her eyes bright with the joy of surviving the day, he couldn’t find it within himself to turn her down.

They went out to where the other’s were dancing and started to move. The dancing from the years of boring parties paid off for Levi as he held his own against Y/N’s easy movements. They looked at each other in a new light as she let Levi lead her around the other couples.

By the end of the dance, they had fell into a natural rhythm with each other, looking like they had been dancing together for years. The others had stopped to watch their respective Captains glide along the deck together, their focus solely on each other.

At the end of the music, Y/N looked at the raven haired man and smiled. “Maybe you Eldians aren’t so bad.”

Levi smirked. “Maybe not all Marleyeans are complete shit.”

Y/N’s first officer shouted out from behind the helm “Fucking finally!”

They both turned dark glares on their men as everyone laughed and nodded in agreement. They scoffed at the idiots they had under their command and looked at each other with a new perspective in their eyes. For Y/N maybe the Scout Captain was so bad as she originally thought. For Levi, the Pirate Captain had captured his interest.

Mobile MasterList

[littlefrenchfryesblog]

Visitor Students (Part 2)

Pairing: Jacob Frye x Reader

Characters: Jacob Frye, Evie Frye, Ethan Frye, Henry Green, Arbaaz Mir, Kaur Pyara, Ezio Auditore, Maria Auditore, Claudia Auditore, Mario Auditore, Arno Dorian, Elise De La Serre, Edward Kenway, Connor Kenway

Modern AU

Summary: The reader lives in Turkey (The reason I choose this country because I want the reader to talks a language that none of the characters can speak or understand.) And the characters visited the school, that reader studies. The reader studies in one of the most successful schools in Istanbul. Reader and reader's friends have talents just like Assassins. The reader meets with visitor students. But the thing she didn’t know is the reader’s dad is the friend of Ethan Frye.

Note: (T/I/Y/W/T/P) = The Instrument You Want To Play

            (Y/N) = Your Name

            (L/N) = Last Name

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     From now on I will have some songs to you guys to read my stories with!! So, can you open the song from One Direction - Story  Of My Life Luv You All!!

undefined

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     (Y/N)'s POV

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              We continue to talk with Jacob when I told him how many things our teacher can do with a pencil, he just surprised. Because our teachers did not just write with a pencil. They can throw them in air and catch 'em in the same place and they can do that forever. And they are not stopping, not fail, every time. And so many things like that. That conversation starts when Jacob saw in his Twitter a text but it was Turkish so he wants me to translate it, and of course, I said ''Yes'' because how can I say no to his smirk and those hazel eyes of his. I look to the text message, it says ''Avrupa'da avukatlık okuyorum, Galatasaray Lisesi mezunuyum ve önüme geçen her testin tamamını doğru yapabiliyorum, sizin yetenkleriniz nedir?'' I looked to the text message with impressed and Jacob quickly realizes it and said ''What was it, love?'' I said ''Damn, this girl is so successful. It says ''I study to be a lawyer in Europe, I graduated from Galatasaray High school and I could solve any questions that come in front of me. What is your talent guys? And Galatasaray High School is the most successful school in Turkey. If you want to get into that school you should at least get the LGS exam full correct and all of your subjects and exams should be 100 and it means in your education system  A+.'' When I told him that he was impressed. And I continued ''So, what is your talent, Jacob Frye?'' And he smirks at me and I felt a heat goes to my cheeks. I hide my cheeks with the sleeve my loose sweater. He looks at me and says with a grin and a smirk ''Well (Y/N) (L/N) I can fight so deadly and I can take aim from so far and I can shoot my target from there.'' He looks at me like he asks me to say him my talent. And I realized he is quite sexy. When I realize it he asks with his low voice ''So, (Y/N) (L/N) what is your special talent?'' I answered him with nervus. ''Well, Jacob Frye I can remember everyone's teacup on an occasion that includes 100 people. And I don't think I have another talent.'' He still looks at me with one of his elbows on the kitchen counter, and he said to me when I just finish my sentence ''Lie. I saw the paintings you do, I heard you memorize everything you see and you prove it in the history class. And I saw your ballet and how you play (T/I/Y/W/T/P) in videos...'' He continued but After my dad calls me, I got the coffees and put them on a tray.

      I went to the living room, give everyone coffee. And went back to the kitchen, I found Jacob looking at his phone with worry. He looks like some child on a swing and looks for the sky with worry when it rains.

        ''What happened? I just went to the living room to bring others coffee.'' He didn't react to me. I go near to him and I saw an emotion like... Like... Heartbreak?

         ''My ex...'' And I say with  ''Oh...'' He continued ''I saw her story on Instagram.'' And he showed me the story for like five seconds ''As I say, she just gets over me...'' and he takes the phone to his direction and I stop him ''No, No, show that again.'' He looks to me with a smirk and gave me his phone. I looked again and I said ''I know this guy.'' I lead the phone between us and said ''Look for the man behind them. And look at the zippo he uses to light his cigarette. It has a Turkish flag on it. And if you look for the view it matches with the Barırköy coast. Wich is not a real coast. Wait, I know here. I was in there!'' And I took my coat from the chair.

           ''Wait!? What are you doing?'' I shout at him and I say ''If you want to see her, Quick! We don't have any time to waste''

           When I saw that he is not making any move, I grabbed his hand and lead him to the outside. First-time my luck smiles to my face and I found a taxi. I told the driver where we should go and he shakes his hand and we start to go.

           I looked to Jacob he looks like a villager who saw an alien. I said to him ''What?! Didn't you want this?'' He said when he stands straight. ''No... Well, maybe. But not like that.'' And when he said that we arrived. ''Too late.'' When I look back I saw he didn't move. He looks at me with a smirk and le relaxes more I shout at him ''Okey Mr. Sexy if you want to see her we need to go.'' And I picked his hand and lead him outside. When I lead him outside, he said with a huge, flirty and in my option sexy, smirk that sends a shiver down to my spine ''So, you think I'm sexy?'' I rolled my eyes and say ''Don't you dare start.''

        When we arrived, I felt a huge pain in my stomach. And as a normal human, I cry for the pain I felt. And when I almost fell to the ground Jacob pick me and looked me in the eye. ''(Y/N)! Are you okay?!'' I said when I got up. ''Y-Yes, yes. I'm good.'' 

              Shit.

         This shouldn't happen here. Like a bad memory, It was two years earlier, my friends turn their back to me. They shoot me behind. And when I was alone at home. All I want is to be free. So I go to the window and I close my eyes then open them again, I thought that look was my last look to the world. The last thought I have was  ''When people say you're worthless, that does not mean you are worthless. When people say you're a wrong person, that doesn't mean you're a wrong person. That's just prooves they are just stupid.'' And I jumped. But I didn't think I will live. But when I learned to make a child to me is nearly impossible, I want to die twice. And the doctors said to me ''You jumped to an iron bar. And the iron bar enters your stomach and damage the wall of the womb. So, you have a serious stitch. You shouldn't be in so hot and so cold.'' And if I will be somewhere like that it could bleed. For that, I take some pills to it. But I remember I forgot to take them today. 

          So, when I got up he was still looking at me so I showed him the girl named Teressa I think ''Look she is there! Let's go!'' And when we go near to them, I felt pain again and I touch the wound. I look to my hand again and when I looked, all I could saw was blood.

I got up and said to Jacob ''I'm in the toilet!''

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Jacob's POV 

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        (Y/N) wnt to the toilet with panic in her eyes. So I started to look for Teressa. There is a man that looked familiar to me. Of course, That was Trevor, he is one of the popular guys in my old school. 

        I came closer to them and I start to hear the conversation they have. Trevor said ''I will make you happier than that Jacob. When I get his gang called Rooks, I will win.'' I start to get angry. How could he say something like that? Then they continue to that conversation, some people go to that table too. When I take a closer look I saw my traitor friends. They were the first Rooks and the first friends I have in middle school. The first one I met was Ed, I was best friends with him, then someday Nigel came and when I so busy with making a gang in school, I didn't realize they were hiding secrets from me and after that, they start to talk among themselves. And after all of the time they just... They just... Go...

          After like thirty minutes I started to worry about where (Y/N) is. And I looked around for her. When I saw her she saw me too and she smiles at me. 

          She sat next to me and said with a warm smile ''So, what happened?'' And I look back to the crowd. And back to her. When I saw Teressa and Trevor kissing I just got up from the chair and start to walk over to the table Teressa and others are sitting. But when I feel something on my arm. It wasn't hurting me, when I look for it I saw it.

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(Y/N)'s POV

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    I took Jacob's arm and when he looks back at me I saw something at his eyes, a  child, broken and crying for help. And I saw it, his soul was wounded.

    ''Jacob, don't. If you will do that, you won't feel better than before. Believe me, they don't deserve someone perfect like you.'' He looked at me with sad eyes, ''How could you feel sure about that?'' I know that was an S.O.S. came from him, that no one looks for. ''Cause, I see it in your eyes. Let's just get out of here and I promise you we will talk about it.'' He just nodded. And we started to get out of the restaurant.

     We walked a little bit and arrived at the rocky place on the coast.  I jumped to the rocks and Jacob came behind me. When we sat to rock and look for the sea, I was the first one to talk. ''What happened? I mean when you look to them, you are not looking to them with anger or revenge ''What did they do to you, Jacob?'' He stopped a little bit. I was sure that he remembers the thing or things happened. I was just like a child who waits for her lollipop from her parents. He took a deep breath, ''It was two years ago, I have the most perfect friends around me. Or I was thinking like that. When I started high school, I was the most popular guy at school as usual. Come on, look to this face.'' And he shows me his face, I giggled ''And I planned to start a new gang. I joined all of the sports clubs I could join as possible, that's where I meet with Teressa, but that's another story. I was busy with my gang, and I think I get away from my friends. I still don't know how I didn't I get caught by teachers eye, I think that's Evie's thing. My friends start to ignore me, and '' When he didn't even finish his sentence I continue. ''Let me guess, and they tell you to move on and they finish their friendship with you, you start to feel like you are so weak and you are not enough for their attention. You became a depressive person, sometimes you feel numb and paralyzed. After some time you have new friends around you and you trust them very well. Is this how your story ends?'' His face looks like he was taken aback by my words. He just said ''Exactly.'' But I continued to my sentence I picked his hand and say ''Look, Jacob, people can be blind sometimes. Most of the time they don't see what's in front of them. If you're worried about you're not enough, all I can say to you is ''Enough to who and enough to whom?'' sometimes you see a beautiful person and an ugly person, you can say ''Wow! Look to the girl and look to the man with her he looks like her grandfather.'' and someone can say ''Wow! Look to the man and look to the woman with her. She isn't enough to him.'' so, don't forget, you are soo special, there is no other person like you. That means you don't need to worry about being enough for something or someone, cause you're always enough or more than enough. Ok? And you don't need to worry about the things you have a problem with. You can always come to me. Cause if you can't find a way to get out of them, maybe WE could find a way to get out of them.'' He looked to me with thankful eyes. ''I lived the same things too, so it looks like we share the same fate, Mr. Frye.'' I stood up and told him ''We can go now don't you think. We will have a lot of time to talk, Am I wrong?'' he stood up too and he said ''Oh, yeah lass.'' and he presses a thing in his hand and he moves to left a little bit and shows the car behind him. I ask with shock ''How did you?'' he said ''Oh, I have a lot of surprises.'' And he gave me his hand to help me get out of the rocky area.

       When we got in the car, I feel like his eyes always are on me.

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Jacob's POV

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  When we were in the car, I couldn't get my eyes off of her. She was the only person who spoke to me like that. She was soo merciful, kind and positive. When I was thinking all of them at the same time, she opened the window and her hair was flowing with the wind and her eyes were closed. I could saw her smile on the wind came to her skin. She was like the stars. She lights more when it gets dark. I could just look at her and see the stars in her. So I wanted to make her close to the atmosphere, where she belongs. I opened the top window. And she quickly looked to it. She said ''Why you didn't tell me you have a top window in the car!?'' I said with the usual smirk on my face ''I said to you love, I'm full of surprises.'' And after that, I saw some drops on the window. When I look up to the sky, I was full of dark clouds and I started to realize the rain was started. The storms are coming. And when I looked to (Y/N), I saw she isn't at the place that she was sitting. And I looked to her legs. I saw she was climbed to the car's seat and she was out of the top window. I said her ''(Y/N)! It's raining! What are you doing!?'' She said back to me ''That's why it's soo fun!'' After those words, I saw her hair was wet, and she smiles the brighter than the sun at the storm. She was different. I felt something. But I didn't care about it. I was busy watching her. She said ''Can you pull over?'' when she sat back to her seat and I closed the top window. I asked her ''Why?'' and she looked to me with naughty eyes and she started to talk ''Just don't think about it! It's my surprise for you.'' and after that, I pull over. And she said ''I knew you like surprises.'' After that, she got out of the car and rut outside with her arms and hands open with a smile on her face. I got out of the car and I yell at her ''(Y/N)! What are you doing?'' when she heard that I yell at her she came back to the car and opened the song ''One Direction - The Story Of My Life '' and she got the voice level as high as possible then she took me from my hands and lead me to the pouring rain. Then she yelled at me ''Thought you were brave to walk under the rain, Mr. Frye'' Then she leave my hands and started to run. I said ''Oh, I am Ms. (L/N).'' and she yelled at me again ''So prove it, Mr. Frye! Catch me if you can!'' After that, I tried to clutch her.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Guys let's chance the song to Ruelle - Live Like Legends from here... All right! Let's continue to our story!

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  When she was running I heard a voice came from behind when I turned my back I saw a woman with an angelic voice and a long white dress. Then she started to talk ''Hello Jacob Frye, we need to talk.'' I asked her who is she, she answered me with kindness ''I have so many names. But...It was Minerva when I was dead.'' I remembered the name. And she continued ''I learned that you are always praying for Juno to show you what your soulmate is doing.'' I started to feel awkward and a little bit scared ''There is no need to be afraid of.  We are not the gods. We are just the ones that came before. I just want to know why you are caring so much about your soulmate.'' I answered her ''I just want to know who she is.'' and she continued ''I know you are so connected to her even now but I think I could help you more than Juno and when you need to make a choice I need you to promise me, child, that you won't release her.'' and I was so excited and I promised her I won't release her. and she contınued to talk ''All I can tell you is you are so close to being with her. Goodbye, my child, we will talk again soon.'' And then she disappeared. I turned to real-life when I heard (Y/N) called me. ''Jacob? Are you okay?'' And she came more near to me. When she was trying to hold my shoulder I caught her and swing her around. When I sat her to the ground she giggled at me and she said ''No! That's not fair!'' and I catch her once again and said ''Oh, isn't is fair, love?'' And after that so many times and rouns of running and catching. When I tried to catch her again she stopped and I jumped to her back ''Gotchya!'' she put his finger to my mouth and continued to talk '' Yes, of course, dad. We are on our way! Bye!'' she looked back to me and giggled ''Your face is so funny right now cause, you realize my dad was on the phone'' and I answered her with a smirk on my face ''Oh is it?'' and I catch her again and raise her to the air. And she said ''Why we don't take photos?'' and we started to take photos. And when we went back to the car we looked at the photos and send them to each other.

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(Y/N)'s POV

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     And we arrive back home with all of our wet hair and clothes we went to our rooms secretly. I told him that I will take a quick shower and I make a beeline to the bathroom. When the hot water hit my shoulder I was soo relaxed by the feeling. And my brain went back to Jacob again and again. I still don't know why I feel so attached to him but I thought that's because we lived the same things, the same infidelities, same problems. When I was thinking those things I got out of the shower and quickly changed my clothes. I wished everyone a good night and I pulled over by Evie and I told her everything we do, not the special parts, of course, and she told me that there is a very good harmony between us and she told me to be careful about her stupid twin, and after a little chit chat with Evie I went back to my room.

     When I was nearly sleeping, I heard Jacob's voice that calling me. I opened my eyes and ''Jacob? Why aren't you sleeping?'' and he answered me with puppy eyes ''(Y/N) I can't sleep. Can I sleep with you cause Evie sleeps with Henry my dad is in another room and I have a problem with sleeping in a place that is new for me?'' When I saw nervous in his eyes I said ''Of course Jacob, you can sleep with me. That's not a problem.'' and I made a space for him to sleep and when he sleeps next to me, his face was full of peace.

     I woke up again at 4 a.m. and I found Jacob sleeping on my chest and my hand was on his hair. And I use the opportunity of playing with his soft chocolate brown hair. When I was nearly sleeping I heard a whisper came from him ''Thank you (Y/N), sweet dreams.'' And I leave myself to the arms of sleep. 

@sassenach-on-the-rocks

[gojngdown]

why every tøp song is for the gays

there’s at least one reason for each tøp song as to why it’s for the gays. so please enjoy. if i missed anything please feel free to add it in. written by a disaster nb lesbian.

SELF-TITLED

implicit demand for proof: the first time i heard this song, i was in world history class. we were learning about ancient greece at the time. ancient greece is literally the gayest place on the planet. implicit demand for proof is for the gays.

fall away: the backing vocals of “la da da da da” are just . it’s Gay. fall away is for the gays. also there’s that one live video of fall away with an epic trumpet solo and i watch it religiously and i’m gay. fall away is for the gays.

the pantaloon: i am too lazy to draw it out but the rhythm of this song is roughly the same as “mama” by my chemical romance. if mcr isn’t for the gays, i don’t know what is. the pantaloon is for the gays.

addict with a pen: this is my crush’s favorite song. addict with a pen is for the gays.

friend, please: this song is so meaningful and powerful, just like gay rights. friend, please is for the gays.

march to the sea: this song mentions spaceships. space is gay. march to the sea is for the gays.

johnny boy: simply because it is a Huge Bop that also has really relatable lyrics, johnny boy is for the gays.

oh, ms. believer: one of the prettiest songs tøp has ever wrote. you know who else is pretty? GIRLS. oh, ms. believer is for the gays. snow is also super cool just like gay rights. oh, ms. believer is for the gays.

air catcher: this song flows with passion, just like me when i see any girl ever. air catcher is for the gays.

trapdoor: “everyone gather around for a show.” show = theater. theater is gay. trapdoor is for the gays.

a car, a torch, a death: again this is one of the prettiest songs tøp has ever wrote. and who else is pretty? GIRLS. a car, a torch, a death is for the gays.

taxi cab: the live performance of this song absolutely knocks everyone off of their feet. this is also one of the safest songs on the planet. it’s also my favorite song off of self titled and i’m gay. taxi cab is for the gays.

before you start your day: “put on the glitter that your soul hides behind” can be alluded to closeted gay/trans kids having to hide who they are because they’re closeted. before you start your day is for the gays.

isle of flightless birds: “we put our worth in giving birth and stuff” single-handedly, this line makes the whole song for the gays. we put our worth in heterosexual intercourse when the most important thing is to be gay and do crimes. isle of flightless birds is for the gays.

REGIONAL AT BEST

(i did the songs on rab that are not on vessel!)

slowtown: “i put my socks on my feet.” a beautiful, meaningful line. also a very very gay line slowtown is for the gays. also this song mentions pokemon and pokemon is for the gays. slowtown is for the gays.

forest: the whole chorus is just,,, it’s so gay. like bringin all ur friends out and just singing songs in the middle of a forest there’s no heterosexual explanation for that. forest is for the gays.

kitchen sink: this is @serainechor’s favorite song and sera is a LGBTQ+ ICON. kitchen sink is for the gays.

lovely: the ending. that’s just. it’s. words fail. lovely is for the gays.

anathema: the whole last rap part is from no phun intended, aka For The Gays. anathema is for the gays. also it’s the song playing during that one scene from dreamers at best by @vialism u all know that scene yep. anathema is for the gays.

ruby: “UR AN ANGELLLLLLLLLL”- me @ girls. ruby is for the gays.

be concerned: “where’d you go, HUUUUUUH?” that line is so gay like u hear it and u just Know. be concerned is for the gays.

clear: so many good puns and misheard lyrics can be made out of this song, and we all know memes are for the gays. clear is for the gays.

VESSEL

ode to sleep: literally half of this song is from npi which as we all know is a Gay Album. ode to sleep is for the gays. also this song practically SCREAMS be gay do crimes. ode to sleep is for the gays.

holding on to you: tyler held up a gay pride flag during the live version of this song. holding on to you is for the gays.

migraine: AMM I THE OOOOONLY ONE I KNOOOOOOOW that’s gay that’s so amazing and Gay Culture also i listened to this on repeat on the way back from a band field trip and band field trips are gay. migraine is for the gays.

house of gold: this is the first ukulele song tøp ever released. it’s common knowledge that playing the ukulele is gay culture. house of gold is for the gays.

car radio: just the fact that tyler screams half of this song makes it for the gays. also during the alter ego festival, tyler said “peace” after this song which is gay. car radio is for the gays. also josh takes off the mask at the same time as tyler but no one notices and that’s also very meaningful just like gay rights. car radio is for the gays. tyler illegally climbs a lot during this song and once he literally built his own tower which is chaotic and gay. car radio is for the gays.

semi-automatic: hope is ur friend!! that is very gay and very powerful also keep telling me those sun metaphors those are extremely gay. semi-automatic is for the gays.

screen: another uke song. ukes are for the gays. screen is for the gays. “excuse us while we sing to the sky” is a Gay Line. screen is for the gays.

the run and go: DO DO DO DO DO DO DO DO thats just the grandest gayest lil tune what a Bop also tyler called josh baby on stage during this song “oh hello josh! hello josh”. the run and go is for the gays.

fake you out: this song is very sad and very real- just like me. i’m gay. fake you out is for the gays. “i have committed dirty crimes” HEY BE GAY DO CRIMES. fake you out is for the gays.

guns for hands: turn ur guns into a fist. rise against the homophobes who spread hate. guns for hands said gay rights. guns for hands is for the gays.

trees: the live performance of this is everything and is enough of a reason as to why it’s for the gays. trees is for the gays.

truce: a meaningful yet simple song about staying alive. fantastic as Fuck. it’s also in the key of G aka the best key ! truce is for the gays.

BLURRYFACE

heavydirtysoul: THERES AN INFESTATION IN MY MINDSIMAGINJDHDJDNDBSJBBSBM. heavydirtysoul is for the gays. also the drum tabs are chaotic just like the gays. heavydirtysoul is for the gays.

stressed out: this is the tøp song that so many people heard first. as we all know, the clique is very very gay. stressed out is for the gays.

ride: once again, a song that a lot of people heard first. and the clique is like, SUPER FUCKING GAY. ride is for the gays. during alter ego fest, tyler said during this song “save the best for first” aka the most chaotic and gayass thing i’ve ever seen. ride is for the gays.

fairly local: the contradiction between the first and second verse is gay. fairly local is for the gays. also YEEEEEEEEEEAH is gay. fairly local is absolutely for the gays.

tear in my heart: this song is about jenna. tear in my heart is for the gays. it’s also the first tøp song i ever heard and i’m a gay icon. tear in my heart is for the gays.

lane boy: the riff on this boi. i mean Wow. lane boy is for the gays. “will they be alive tomorrow” he’s talking bout the straights that shit on the awesome lgbtq+ community i don’t make the rules. lane boy is for the gays.

the judge: i listened to this song on repeat when i first got my gay haircut. the judge is for the gays. tyler did a mashup of this and holding on to you (quite obviously for the gays, of course.) on the ukulele (a gay instrument.) the judge is for the gays. the simple act of screaming “JOSH DUN!” is gay culture. the judge is for the gays.

doubt: “don’t forget about me” me @ my crush. doubt is for the gays. no to be completely serious i interpret this song as a message to god and i feel like a lot of lgbtq+ ppl can relate to that sort of interpretation. doubt is for the the gays.

polarize: this is @poisonous-vibrations’s favorite tøp songs. ty is a LGBTQ+ ICON AS WELL. polarize is for the gays.

we don’t believe what’s on tv: tyler once dedicated this to josh. wdbwotv is for the gays. it’s also a ukulele song and the uke is a gay instrument! wdbwotv is for the gays. “YEAH YEAH YEAH” is gay. wdbwotv is for the gays. this is my brother’s favorite tøp song and my brother is a gay icon. wdbwotv is for the gays.

message man: this song just slaps u in the face and screams GAY RIGHTS. message man is for the gays. also the sleepers version of this is on the ukulele a gay instrument. message man is for the gays.

hometown: THE SLEEPERS VERSION OF HOMETOWN WAS MADE FOR THE GAYS I DONT MAKE THE RULES. hometown is for the gays.

not today: the brassline in this is absolutely gay. not today is for the gays. JUST BECAUSE I PLAY THE PIANO DOESNT MEAN IM NOT WILLING TO TAKE U DOWN im sorry. that’s the gayest and most chaotic thing i’ve ever seen Hello???? not today is for the gays.

goner: tyler screaming is gay culture and he screams a lot during this song. goner is for the gays. “i wanna be known by you” me @ my crush. goner is for the gays. to be serious this song is so meaningful and powerful and raw and i love it so much. goner is for the gays.

TRENCH

(there isn’t a yellow this is home of phobia)

jumpsuit: tyler screams in this one too and that’s gay culture. jumpsuit is for the gays. i feel like anyone who joined this fandom before july remembers exactly when and where they were when this came out. and of course, the clique is very gay. jumpsuit is for the gays. also throwing yellow flowers on ppls head is gay culture. jumpsuit is for the gays.

levitate: tyler fuckin rapping a mile a minute non stop is the epitome of gay culture! levitate is for the gays. also vultures = clifford. clifford is a gay icon. levitate is for the gays.

morph: every line of this song is gay! i don’t make the rules. morph is for the gays. (gorph is for the mays) the simple act of morphing to someone else is a metaphor a lot of gay/trans kids can relate to. morph is for the gays. “not done not done not done josh dun” is the gayest thing ive seen in a while. morph is for the gays.

my blood: this one is all about family and friends. a lot of lgbtq+ people have a chosen family, and i feel like my blood emulates not only family by blood but your chosen family as well. my blood is for the gays.

chlorine: ned is a gay icon. chlorine is for the gays. the arpeggio in the second chorus is gay culutre. chlorine is for the gays. red carnations were used by the gays to tell other gays they were gay. chlorine is for the gays. josh wearing a bucket hat is my aesthetic and i am gay. chlorine is for the gays.

smithereens: this song is about jenna. smithereens is for the gays.

neon gravestones: neon has a very important message. 100% for the gays. also it’s a very pretty song and i know ive said this twice already but who else is pretty? GIRLD. neon gravestones is for the gays.

the hype: the second verse is all about not caring what others think of you! the hype is for the gays. a sample in this song is from the two piece video and that is ... :((((( the hype is for the gays. the bridge has a uke in it and ukes are gay. the hype is for the gays.

nico and the niners: EAST IS UP im fearless when i hear this on the low EAST IS UP wearing rebel clothes is gay culture. nico and the niners is for the gays. flying from a fire is also gay culture. natn is for the gays.

cut my lip: “though i am bruised face of contusions know i’ll keep moving” gays have always persisted thru prejudice and u can totally take that line as 100% gay. cut my lip is for the gays.

bandito: this song is all about the fans. the clique is so gay y’all have no idea holy fuckin shit. bandito is for the gays. also it’s such a pretty song ,,,,, repeat after me ,,,,, who else is pretty . GIRLS ! bandito is for the gays.

pet cheetah: THE BOP OF THE CENTURY. absolutely gay culture. pet cheetah is for the gays. also josh takes his shirt off right before this song so. pet cheetah is for the gays.

legend: me and sera were talking abt how ned is a legend and we referenced this song. two gay icons talking abt a gay icon. legend is for the gays. also !! ukulele song. ukes are gay. legend is for the gays.

leave the city: i have no words to describe this song other than that.......... it’s definitely for the gays. <3

SINGLES/UNRELEASED SONGS

heathens: once again a song that brought many more gays to the clique. heathens is for the gays. the piano intro to this song live makes u ascend to heaven. heathens is for the gays.

cancer: this is a mcr cover. my chemical romance is gay culture. cancer is for the gays. this song is also super frickin pretty and girls are also pretty. cancer is for the gays.

two: so eerie and pretty at the same time. just,, really hard to describe. but definitely , definitely two is for the gays. me and sera are gonna do a two piano duet when we meet and we’re both gay icons. two is for the gays.

time to say goodbye: this is my favorite tøp song . the song i DO NOT SHUT UP ABOUT. as such, it’s automatically gay culture. ttsg is for the gays. also it was the first tøp song josh ever heard i’m not crying you’re crying. ttsg is for the gays.

in conclusion: every tøp song is for the gays and i just proved it.

thanks for reading this whole thing i really hope u liked it this took me two hours but hey . Gay Rights.

[elisexjapan]

12 april 2013 Okay, just came home from my concert with D. I started listening to them 2008 and I used to listen to them every day the last months in Japan back then, when going back and forth between school. Now I've finally seen them live. And what a live it was!! It was a bit tricky to find my way, and when I was looking at a map when I was where I had thought it was (but it wasn't), a kind japanese woman in visual kei-ish clothes came up to me and asked "May I help you?" whereupon I answered that I can speak japanese, haha. I then said where I wanted to go, and, ofc, she was also going to D's live! So we went together. Thank you, kind woman, you were a great help!! There were Visual Kei, goth and lolita people EVERYWHERE. Holyyyyyyyy shit. Everyone were so beautiful!! Woah!!! It was my first time going to a visual kei concert in Japan (i've been to several in europe tho), and let me tell you that it was very different... Either way, the lady asked me if I had the flags with me, and I was like what flags? And well, I found out when they started, that they were all having flags... all people in the audience. Two little flags in black and red. And they were waving them in a very special pattern along with the music, and they knew EXACTLY when to do what move! It was... wow. Like when the hell did they practice that? In came all the band members one by one, recieved applauses, and went to their instrument... And last, came Asagi. My dear Asagi. The theme right now is Pirates, so he was dressed fully in a captain's goth pirate outfit, and was carrying a huge D flag. He was absolutely absolutely lovely. <3 <3 <3 During some other songs he also had a pistol that he pointed at us, hehe, and also a telescope that he pointed at us while saying "I can see you veery clearly..." omg. And at one point he also was carring a camera with the microphone, and at the back there was a projector where we could see, live, what he was filming! He used it especially when he had told us to do The Wave. He sweeped the camera over the crowd and the crowd would jump when the camera filmed them. I was on the second floor in the middle kinda, so I doubt I will be on the live DVD later, oh well. Either way, when they were playing normal songs that didn't use flags or stuff, all the people were still DANCING. In UNISON. They had little moves with their hands that they would do at certain points in the songs. ALL. OF. THEM. HOW DID THEY KNOW!? How did they know it all!? The lady who showed me the way said that someone of the band members had said on their twitter to people not to forget their flags, but seriously, what? Do I have to check their twitter to know that I should bring flags? Where am I even supposed to learn the silly little moves in each song? By going to all lives? Watching earlier live DVDs? XD It was absolutely hilarious, embarassing, boring and funny all at the same time. The moves were basically like crossing you hands in front of your chest, putting them up in the air, one hand in the air, and stuff like that. At first I thought they were way too silly, but after a while I joined in - it was better than doing nothing. Oh and they even had timed HEADBANGING at some points in some songs. Yeah. Lolitas headbanging. I never thought I'd get to see that. Needless to say I joined in a few times. But seriously, there were a lot of times when I felt like headbanging but it wasn't that point in the song and they were doing some other little silly dance in the audience, meh. I stood between two very petite little japanese girls in half-lolita clothes. They looked absolutely out of place, but they knew each silly dance by heart, wow. O_O; And one of them headbanged like I've never seen anyone headbang before, daaayumn gurl! Seriously, seeing so many people dance little silly upper-body-dances together to a Visual Kei band.... seriously. When the drummer were using both his feet on the big drum, the audience were like treading their hands in the air slightly... I felt so much like jumping and putting up my hands or something, but nooo, I had to tread my hands in front of me a little bit at the most hardcore parts of their songs. Meh! We also recieved a Rose Pen each at the entrance when we handed in our tickets, it was actually to fill in a poll thingie but I never did it (didn't have time afterwards as I rushed out to buy goodies)... and one song we used the Rose pens instead of the flags :D Finally I could join in, haha. I got a nice red Rose Pen. Oh, and, actually, since this was also a live where they released a new single, they of course played the new songs (the b-side too).... And then we had to use the flags (I used my hands), and Asagi actually showed us the dance. We practiced with him. It was so cute ;_; Perhaps that's how they learn the silly dances? Either way, the performance itself.... They played a lot of nice songs, and MY FAVOURITE SONGS!!!! OMG!!! Since they're in the Pirate theme now I never thought they'd repeat old songs, but YES they did! They played "Vampire Missa", "Yami yoru kurai doukoku no a capella etc", and "Der König die Dunkelheit" too!!!!!   The last two there are two of my favourite songs, oh my god, I was so happy!!! I've seen them sing them live, oh my goooooooood!!! They were also having some videos playing on their backdrop, like a rose blooming and some other small stuff like that. One of the slower songs, they had the sky in the background and had a lot of smoke coming out. They were also talking quite a lot, mostly Asagi of course. Oh god his voice is so nice, I could listen to it forever and not get tired.... He was mostly talking about how grateful he is to all his fans and so on, since it was their 10th anniversary special premium live that I went to (thus why there were decided seats). Also at the end he passed around the mic to all the band members so they could say something each. They were mostly thanking us fans and saying how awesome it is to be able to see 10 years as a band. Asagi also said some beautiful words, like, "This moment only comes once. So make sure you appreciate this moment the most. Noone knows what comes in the future. Appreciate what you have now." or similar. I couldn't help but shed some tears, as that fits perfectly to what I feel right now... I also recorded a minute or two during the live. It wasn't allowed of course, and I will NEVER post it online ever, but I wanted desperately to savour the (most likely) only moment I'll see this awesome band live ever. There were no guards on the second floor and it was also kind of half-empty so I took my chance, mwehehhe. They also did like two or three encores, and before the first one, they had the Big Announcement that they had promised..... And the  Big Annoucments, rolling on the screen, was a summer all-country tour, a SMARTPHONE GAME based on their Vampire Saga arc that will be out INTERNATIONALLY OH MYYY GOOOD, and also that they will sign with another label and go Major Label, omg!! So happy for them!! They were also PERHAPS hinting at a world live?? It's very possible at least. It was so fun to hear Asagi chuckle when he commented on the game later, haha. His laugh is so refined and beautiful, with a low and nice voice. <3 After another encore (they played the Vampire Saga themed songs then, like I said; Der König Der Dunkelheit and also In the name of Justice, since they had just announced the Vampire Saga mobile game), they came out with CHAMPAGNE!! (that you could buy afterwards too) and we all cheered for them as they celebrated with us. <3 As they went off stage (twice or thrice just to come back for another encore) they waved to us all, and Asagi pointed his microphone at us and we screamed, I screamed his name so many times so high, wow. Asagi. <3 Asagi!! Asagi!!! There was also a nice moment when all of us sang... like, the band sang a song, then got quiet, and we all continued singing in unison while Asagi directed the microphone towards us. It was very beautiful.... And glitter. Glitter everywhere at the end, they had so much glitter raining down on them, ahaha, and some shot out into the audience too. I couldn't grab any though. And, at the very end, before going out the last time, Asagi came out with a chest full of red roses, real roses. They all them threw them out into the audience - Asagi kissed his roses before throwing them out. I was on the 2nd floor like I said, so I could only stand and watch :\ Oh, and Kamijo and Moi Dix Mois had sent them flowers to congratulate their 10 year anniversary (japanese do that to each other, one company to another or similar stuff). The huge bouquets were by the entrance. Let me just say that I've been playing this video and song on repeat for some days now: http://youtu.be/zf0w16UZf6o . That song is pure love. And when they started playing the intro... omg I just died right then and there and screamed so much... I didn't think they'd play it at all, oh my god yes. So all in all, it was an absolutely awesome night, I cired, I smiled, I laughed, I screamed. D, and especially Asagi - thank you for being so amazing. Thank you. I love you, forever.

This is the live I went to:

2013年4月12日渋谷公会堂

D 10th Anniversary Special Premium Live「Bon Voyage!」 2013.4.12[Fri] 　渋谷公会堂 OPEN／17:30　START／18:30 前売／￥5,200　当日／￥5,700 全席指定 一般発売日 2013.2.24[Sun]

[creaturecarnival]

Monsters From 9

Hey, it’s ya [REDACTED], mod Frankie, and for my first post, I thought I’d review a movie which I wish I’d watched much sooner than I did, 9! If you haven’t seen 9, I highly suggest you watch it as soon as you get the chance. It’s about a bunch of grimy magic rat-people dolls called the Stitchpunks fighting evil robots in a war-ravaged post-apocalypse, and if that doesn’t entice you then I’m afraid I can’t help you. This post will contain major spoilers, so if you want to avoid that then get the fuck outta here and watch the movie, ya dingus! Or don’t and just ogle these cool ass monsters, whatever boats your float.

The Cat Beast

We’ll be reviewing these monsters in the order that they appear in the film, so first off we have the Cat Beast! The Cat Beast really does perfectly exemplify the aesthetic of the movie, mixing together organic and inorganic elements to create something more disturbing than the sum of its parts. The part that stands out the most is obviously the cat skull that comprises its head, complete with a super evil glowy red eye in the left socket, and a blinding spotlight in the right, which really kicks the design up a few notches in my opinion.

This official art gives a nice profile view, and you can really see all the bones intermixed. One of my favorite things about it is the way it moves. Its posture and general appearance would suggest that it would be crude and animalistic, but it shows signs of higher intelligence such as picking things up in its claws and carefully inspecting them, and throwing 2 in a cage after capturing him instead of killing him outright, meaning it is capable of much more complex thought than you would expect at first glance, which is really eerie and jarring.

The Fabrication Machine

The main antagonist of the movie, the Fabrication Machine is an enormous robot that was created by the same scientist who created the Stitchpunks. Where our heroic rag dolls were made from fragments of their creator’s soul, the Fabrication Machine was made from the scientist’s intellect alone, meaning it could be easily influenced by outside forces who controlled it. It was made with the purpose to be an instrument of creation, but the only other human character, The Chancellor corrupted it and used it to create war machines that would eventually turn against humanity, wiping out all life on Earth with poisonous gas. I think that it would get along well with GLaDOS.

Design-wise, I LOVE the Fabrication Machine. The iron wrought industrial aesthetic is just so cool, and I’m a sucker for gigantic machinery in general. As a bonus, whenever it gets excited about something, a network of sparks run across its surface! It’s an unnecessary detail, but it elevates the design as well as the expressiveness of the character. The way that it cobbles together all of its creations is also really fun to watch, specifically the scene where it’s making our next creature on the list...

The Winged Beast

After the beheading of its first lil’ abomination, the Machine decided to take to the skies with the aptly named Winged Beast. Equipped with a total of four beady red eyes and a scorpion-like tail tipped with a harpoon gun, this thing is gnarly. Its wings are stitched together tatters of a flag, it uses a fan to propel itself through the air in addition to its wings, and apparently it has human bones incorporated into its body, because we see the Fabrication Machine cutting up the remains of a human skeleton. I can’t identify any on the creature’s design, but we can assume they’re in there somewhere. My favorite part of its design the “beak”, which is made up of at least 10 discreet blades, and opens up like a nightmarish origami fortune teller where all of the predictions read “death”.

THAT’S what I’m talkin’ about, babey!

The Seeker Drones

Next we have possibly my favorite design in the whole movie, the Seeker Drones. The first time we see them, there’s only one and it just brings the Winged Beast’s head back to the factory. The next time we see them, however, there’s dozens of them, and they’re patrolling the skies outside of the factory with spotlights.

We can really get a lovely view of it on this texture call-out sheet. It uses bellows to propel itself, and has a siren attached to it that it can crank with its single talon-like arm. And just look at those adorably googly little eyestalks!!! That’s the part that really makes the design for me. It just gives this goofy charm that you don’t expect from an evil robot and I love it. I love this silly snail-zeppelin.

The Spiderbots

These guys can be seen crawling all over the factory in a couple of scenes. It’s not really clear why they were created, and I really don’t have all that much to say about them. They’re just fairly generic little spider robots, and that’s okay, because they don’t really have to be anything more than that.

The Seamstress

Well, this one wins the contest for “most viscerally disturbing” by a landslide. It is incidentally also the most powerful creation of the Machine by far, capable of paralyzing onlookers with 2’s corpse, which it has attached to the end of its serpentine body like a rattle, tying them up with thread, and then storing them inside its own body. Clearly it was at this point that the Machine decided it was time to quit fucking around.

Here we can really appreciate all the components of this monstrosity. This was the highest resolution image I could find, I swear. Anyway, the cobra-like silhouette is really cool when mixed with six limbs befitting of an insect with a crippling sewing addiction. It’s also bookended nicely by the two most wonderfully ghastly features it possesses.

That bisected doll head complete with spooky red eye is a nice callback to 2’s trinket cart which was comprised of a similarly damaged doll, and is a really neat way to incorporate visual elements that the viewer associates with 2, since this monster’s basis is to take that character and twist him into something horrifying. I thought the Seekers were my favorite at first, but after looking a lot more closely at the Seamstress than I originally planned, I’ve gotta say it’s my favorite just because of how strong it is in both concept and execution.

Conclusion

When I first saw 9, I fell in love with it. The aesthetic, the characters, the worldbuilding, and yes, the monsters, all come together perfectly to create a true masterpiece. I was shocked to see that it has a 7.1/10 on IMDb, a 57% on Rotten Tomatoes, and a 60% on Metacritic. If you read through this review and still haven’t watched it, it’s on Netflix as of the writing of this post and I strongly encourage you to do so. Also, I’m calling it now, there’s gonna be a sequel movie or series released on 9/9/19.

[sith-shenanigans]

OTP Song Meme

Tagged by @lumielles and @frozenabattoir— thank you both so much! You may regret this. :>

I am going to wildly ignore the rules of this and post their entire playlist instead of a single song.

1. Lost Girls — Lindsey Stirling

[instrumental]

2. The Long Way Home — The Birthday Massacre

Here in the dark, don't fall asleep / We walk through the snow, trying not to breathe / Don't let me go / Stay close to me / Don't look behind us / There's nothing to see

Below / Let me go / From here I know / It's a long way home

Into the woods, under the trees / We follow the trail, down to the sea / There's nowhere to hide / Don't wait for me / Don't look behind you / There's nothing to see

Below / Let me go / From here I know / It's a long way home

3. Still Alive — Leslie Fish

Running from the living / Running from the dead / Running from the memories / Just one jump ahead / But you're still alive— / There's a face in the mirror / Still alive, the dead don't bleed / Still alive, life is a changer / And you're no stranger / Come take what you need

There will be an answer / The sun will rise / Love is a survivor / Open your eyes

4. Wish That You Were Here — Florence + the Machine

And if I stay, oh, I don't know / There'll be so much that I'll have to let go / You're disappearing all the time / But I still see you in the light / For you, the shadows fight / And it's beautiful, but there's that tug in the side / I must stop time traveling / You're always on my mind

You're always on my mind...

5. Still Here — Digital Daggers

Musing through memories, losing my grip in the grey / Numbing the senses, I feel you slipping away / Fighting to hold on, clinging to just one more day / Love turns to ashes, with all that I wish I could say

[...]

Every night, I dream you're still here / The ghost by my side, so perfectly clear / When I awake, you'll disappear / Back to the shadows / With all I hold dear / With all I hold dear...

6. Back From the Dead — Skylar Grey

I'm so confused, I don't know what to feel / Should I throw my arms around you or kill you for real? / 'Cause I worked so hard to put the past to rest / Now it's tumbling down on me just like an avalanche

[...]

I never thought that you and I would ever meet again / I mourn the loss of you sometimes and pray for peace within / The word "distraught" cannot describe how my heart has been / But where do we begin, now that you're back from the dead?

Where do we begin, now that you're back from the dead?

Where do we begin, now that you're back from the dead?

7. Bound — Suzanne Vega

Once you said I'm made of fine stuff / I've been corrupted, and taken enough

Now you appear, making your claim / Inside my heart is the sign of your name

8. Bleak December — Set It Off

In that bleak December, you're just too cold / But I need the answer before you fold / You would hold your cards inside your chest / I think I drove too far / For that bleak December / And how full of shit you are

[...]

Now what are you to me / But a fly inside a web of lies you weave / You're not fooling anyone, not you, not me / So I wonder how you stay alive / When all I do is freeze

9. How to Start a War — Simon Curtis

I thought we were meant to be / Thought it'd be you and me / Standing together at the end of the world

I guess that's not what you want / I guess that I should just move on / So tell me, how am I to move when I can't even breathe

This is not how you make love / This is not what we signed up for / This is not how it's meant to be / This is how you start a war...

10. Down — The Birthday Massacre

Tell me why / We never cared to do this when we still had time / We'll never have to give up if we never try / I know I'll only want it when it's gone / Into the fire

Show me now / I wish that I could fake it but I don't know how / I know we'll never make it but I can't stop now / We're only just beginning and it's over

[...]

Leave me here / I'll never see tomorrow 'til my eyes are clear / We never could run faster than the passing years / I know that I won't miss you 'til you're gone / Into the fire

Cross my heart / We'll never have to let this end if we don't start / We'll never see the light 'til we step into the dark / We're only just beginning and it's over

11. Enemy — Simon Curtis

All this time I thought you knew, I thought you were aware / Of how much I would do for you, of just how much I care / All this time you sat here thinking that I wouldn't give / Every bit of life of mine just so that you could live

And now I've got a feel from you it's bitterness and cold / I'm hearing what you say but not believing what I'm told

[...]

You built so many walls around me that you couldn't see / That without you there is no us there is not even me / I'm standing here before you with no armor lying bare / Lying stranded and defenseless you could help me if you care

You built so many walls around me that I wouldn't dare / Try to climb them but I'm standing with a white flag in the air

12. Bleak December (Acoustic) — Set It Off

[reprise]

13. Lies — Martina McBride

Hummingbirds don't fly backwards / Lovers don't say goodbye / Saturn has 7 rings / And I have never told a lie

[...]

I'm finally moving forward / Getting on with my life / I never dream of you and me / It's strange I don't know why

I'm really not that lonely / You never cross my mind / And when I hear your name / It doesn't cut me like a knife

I don't walk these halls / And I don't climb these walls / Every night...

14. Thick as Thieves — Shinedown

Evidently we can't work it out / I guess that courage ain't allowed / Evidently you're not in the mood / And everything I say just bothers you

You built this fortress / I stumble towards it

Evidently you look furious / Walls up and I know you're serious / Evidently I'm not always there / But you left and I looked everywhere

You built this fortress / I stumble towards it / I stumble towards it...

15. No Light, No Light — Florence + the Machine

Would you leave me / If I told you what I've done / And would you leave me / If I told you what I've become / 'Cause it's so easy / To say it to a crowd / But it's so hard, my love / To say it to you alone

16. Half Light — BANNERS

Sometimes I join you / Let you wash over me / When we're in the darkness / Only the blind can see

And you can tear it up / Oh, no one tears it up like you / Oh, you can rip it up / Oh, I can rip it up like you

When you're in the half light / It is not you I see / And you live a half life / You only show half to me

And can you shake it off / Oh, can you shake it off for me / When you're in the half light / I don't like the half I see

17. Burn — Silent Rival

You wrote a note from a pile of ashes / The pen in your claw got me laughing / No one believes I still feel the weight of your head in my lap

I shudder to think of you out in the cold / Wherever you are I hope you’re warm / Don't worry about me, I'll find my way back / Fire light in my path / Your light in my path

Watch you burn / You light up, you rise up, and you burn / Glow as you fly from the earth / Watch the engines ignite as you burn / Before I could say my goodbyes / Goodbyes, goodbyes, goodbyes / You’re burning and burning

Some call it pain, it's just a feeling / Some call it pain, I call it healing / Will I ever heal, I'm always raw / I'm always raw / Set fire to it all / Set fire to it all...

18. If I Say — Mumford & Sons

I came here without a choice / I'm sorry I could never thank you / For saving me more trouble / I didn't want any trouble / If you were given one more chance / Would you bring me back to life / Bring me back into the light / Into the light

[...]

Show me your hands / Are they cleaner than mine? / Show me your face / Did you cross the line? / Show me your eyes / They any drier than mine? / Your soul survives / But peace, you'll never find

19. Things We Lost in the Fire — Bastille

I was the match and you were the rock / Maybe we started this fire / We sat apart and watched / All we had burn on the pyre

You said, we were born with nothing / And we sure as hell have nothing now / You said, we were born with nothing / And we sure as hell have nothing now...

20. Magpie — The Mountain Goats

Feed the kittens in the kitchen / Set food out for the strays / Try hard to do your best / The magpie will have his way

Fill your mouth with berries / By the full light of the moon / Work all night if you have to / The magpie comes at noon

Shore up the crucifixes / Above the archways and the doors / The magpie will come at midday / And you will go down on all fours

And when the cherry's white with blossoms / Be ready and be brave / And remember what we had here / When there was something left to save

21. Supernova — Within Temptation

I'm waiting for your last goodbye / 'Cause I'm not over it, not over it / I'm waiting for your last goodbye / The kiss of time

Like thunder screaming out for a flash of lightning / Stars are falling down for God's applause / I'm waiting for the light of your supernova / Your last goodbye

22. Through the Mirror — Beyond The Black

Watch you spin in your veils of protection / Layer on layer of dark colors unwind / Shake them off, but you never forget them / Show your scars to the mute and the blind

Only showing your face to the lonely / Wear a mask for the masses so cold / Choosing roads that are broken and stony / Let me tell you my dreams of our destiny

Speak to me, sing to me, bare your soul to me / Step through the mirror, join me inside / Run to me, stay with me, till eternity / Show me the faith that you hide / You hide

You are wandering spaces in limbo / Hearing words from the voice in your head / Give a sign and I'll open the window / Step outside and I'll hold you instead

Only showing your face to the lonely / Wear a mask for the masses so cold / Choosing roads that are broken and stony / Let me tell you my dreams of our destiny

Speak to me, sing to me, bare your soul to me / Step through the mirror, join me inside / Run to me, stay with me, till eternity / Show me the faith that you hide / You hide...

23. Mercy Mirror — Within Temptation

I don't like to think about the pieces / All the cracks in the bricks that still remain / If I could breathe, I'd ask you

To look in my mercy mirror / I need you more than I have known / So look in my mercy mirror / 'Cause I'm not ready to let you go...

24. You Are the Only One — Sergey Lazarev

We can never let the word be unspoken / We will never let our loving go come undone/ Everything we had is staying unbroken now / You will always be the only one / You're the only one

Won't ever give up 'cause you're / Still somewhere out there/ Nothing or no one's gonna keep us apart / Breaking me down but I'm still getting nowhere / Won't stop, hold on

Thunder and lightning it's getting exciting / Lights up the skyline to show where you are / My love is rising, the story's unwinding / Together we'll make it and reach for the stars

You're the only one, you're my only one / You're my life, every breath that I take / Unforgettable, so unbelievable / You're the only one, my only one

25. Paradise (What About Us?) — Within Temptation

There's no sense, the fire burns / When wisdom fails, it changes all / The wheel embodies all that keeps on turning

Blood red skies, I feel so cold / No innocence, we play our role / The wheel embodies all, where are we going?

All in all, you'd expect the wise to be wiser / Fallen from grace / And all in all, I guess we should have known better, 'cause

What about us / Isn't it enough? / No, we're not in paradise / This is who we are / This is what we've got / No, it's not our paradise / But it's all we want / And it's all that we're fighting for / Though it's not paradise

You and us, or I and them? / There comes a time to take a stand / The wheel is watching all that keeps on burning

The venom works, it's like a curse / A Trojan horse, when will we learn / The wheel embodies all that keeps returning

All in all, you'd expect the wise to be wiser / Fallen from grace / And all in all, I guess we should have known better, 'cause

What about us / Isn't it enough? / No, we're not in paradise / This is who we are / This is what we've got / No, it's not our paradise / But it's all we want / And it's all that we're fighting for / Though it's not paradise

What about us / Isn't it enough? / No, we're not in paradise / This is who we are / This is what we've got / No, it's not our paradise / But it's all we want / And it's all that we're fighting for

What about us / Isn't it enough? / No, we're not in paradise / This is who we are / This is what we've got / No, it's not our paradise / But it's all we want / And it's all that we're fighting for / But it's not paradise

What about us, what about us, what about us, isn't it enough?

What about us, what about us, what about us, isn't it enough?

What about us, what about us, what about us, isn't it enough?

What about us, what about us, what about us, isn't it enough?

[purplesurveys]

535

What is your favorite thing to do on your phone? Tweeting, looking at my photos, or more recently, playing Mario Kart Tour hehe. Do you know what you are going to be for Halloween this year? If so, what? I dunno if we have plans for Halloween this year. I don’t really want to spend my money on a costume either. Do you still go trick-or-treating, and if so, how old are you? I do it for some years. I think the last time my friends and I did it though was 2015. Gabie’s sisters trick-or-treated last 2017, but we just accompanied them.

Which Disney princess resembles you the most? Physically? Moana would probably be the closest. Which fairytale seems closest to your life story? I don’t really like fairytales so I don’t know enough of them to identify which one I could possibly relate to.

What color was your first phone? It came in a red Winnie the Pooh skin when my parents got it for me. Was your first phone a flip phone? Nah it was the old Nokia 3310. My third phone was a Sony Ericsson flip phone. Have you ever butt dialed someone? Nope, but I’ve called people in my sleep haha. What is your favorite pizza parlor? Pizza parlors aren’t a thing here; we just have Italian restaurants in general. My favorite place that serves Italian food is Mama Lou’s. What is an old website that closed down that you miss? TWITPIC. I posted so many photos there from 5th grade which was my favorite year of elementary school. I have no idea how to retrieve them since the site shut down around five years ago. I’d be happy even to find out my pictures just floating somewhere around the internet; I just don’t want them gone forever. If you're a girl, have you ever had an embarrassing period story? Yeah, I was in PE class two months ago and was doing sit-ups when my partner looked at me nervously and she said I had a huge stain on my shorts. I had to do the rest of the workout in denim, ripped jeans. ...If so, what happened? ^ That. What was your worst experience in high school? Not having friends and struggling to know who I was and what I wanted. What was your high school's mascot? Meh my school doesn’t have one. How much did your senior prom dress cost you? A few thousand bucks. I didn’t take my prom seriously so I didn’t want my parents to shell out too much for my dress. Do you listen to Grace VanderWaal? I know a couple of songs of hers and I admire her, but I’m not a rabid fan. ...if yes, what's your favorite song of hers? The song she sang at her AGT audition has always struck me. I think I’ve cried every time I came across it. Do you watch America's Got Talent? Nah I only watch the really viral ones and the golden buzzer bits. Which country has the best accent? I can’t distinguish or identify English accents but I reeeeally like the way Tanya Burr sounds when she speaks. That’s an accent I really like. Oh and the one Claire Foy uses in The Crown; I’m not sure if that’s her natural accent but anyhow that one sounds pleasant too. Which country's flag do you like the best? The ones that go outside the box, like Nepal and Switzerland. Libya’s old flag (all-green, no design) was a bit interesting too. Did you cry at your high school graduation? No. I cried the days before. By the time of my grad I think I was just elated to finally finish high school and excited to finally be out with Gab. Did you cry at your college graduation (if applicable)? I haven’t reached that point yet but I have a strong feeling I’ll be trying not to cry the whole time, because my dad plans to be there and he’s never been to any of my graduations yet. Do your parents try to stop you from chasing your dreams? No. I know they support me so long as they know I can handle whatever it is I want to attain. What dreams have stuck with you since childhood? Going to the moon, fighting a fire, having a job that involves caring for animals. Oh and stepping in a wrestling ring. Who is a former friend that you wish would come back into your life? Sofie. She’s still a friend, but I’ve seen her like twice in the last three years. Sad, considering how ridiculously close we were in high school. Have you ever been in a serious romantic relationship? Yes. Who was your favorite Spice Girl? Uh I was too young to ever be a big fan. Did you ever want to be in a band or music group? I wanted to learn how to play the drums, but I didn’t actively aspire to take up a career in music or be in a band. What instrument did you play in the marching band? If you could take any one type of dance class right now, what kind you take? I’d love to go back to ballet. Who got kicked off of your favorite talent show that you were mad about? Pia Toscano and Siobhan Magnus from American Idol, without a doubt. Do you own the entire series on DVD of any TV show? If so, what? My dad got me Seasons 1 and 2 and a bootleg pack of Seasons 3-8 of Perfect Strangers. What show did you always want to be on when you were a kid? Hi-5!!! I always wanted to be a part of that crowd of dancing kids. I had no idea they shot everything in Australia, and that just because they air the show in the Philippines doesn’t mean the studio is also located here. Can you tell the difference between Mary-Kate and Ashley? No, I never paid that much attention to them. I know they dress nicely though. Who is your favorite set of twins? Les Twins! They’re Laurent and Larry, dancers who’ve performed with Beyoncé for the last several years. What is the stupidest baby name you have heard recently? Stupid is kinda harsh...but a weird name I’ve heard of would be Luckysia. I can’t even begin to think where that came from. What is the grossest thing you have ever vomited up? OMG I dunno...straight-up vodka, I guess? I don’t look at the things I throw up lmao. Have you ever thrown up in public, in front of someone else? Yep. ...If yes, was it embarrassing? Very. I haven’t gotten that drunk since. Did you ever take your dog to school? No as pets aren’t allowed in my school. Name one person you know who had a baby in high school. I don’t have a batchmate who gave birth while in high school, but there are several who have since had kids while in college. If you had had a baby in high school, what would you have named him or her? I’d probably have named a girl Audrey and a boy Gino, because those were my favorites back then. I still like the name Audrey but now I’m not so sure if I’d still want it as a first name for my kid. If you had a baby now, what would you name him or her? Olivia. Dunno what name I’d pick for a boy. Do you make lists of names that you like? Yes, but it’s a list for girl names only hah. Do you keep a list of your favorite quotes? Nope, I don’t like living by quotes. Describe your dream wedding in three words. Lots of: flowers, people, food. What is your favorite Chinese restaurant? The Shang Palace in Makati Shangri-La. Does Chinese food make you feel sick? Nope. It’s part of our culture so it would be unusual to get sick from Chinese food. I know it spoils quick, though. Have you ever seen someone throw up on a plane? Nah I’ve only seen that in Mr. Bean haha. I’ve seen more people get dizzy and throw up in boats/ships. Do you get motion sickness? Yes, mostly in cars, and especially if it isn’t my parents driving. Has God ever healed you of anything? If so, what? Do you believe in God? Do you pray, and if so, to whom? What is the most boring church you have ever attended? All of them. What is the most lively church you have ever attended? Do you find church fun or boring? Boring as fuck, but that’s because I’m a nonbeliever and am only forced to go because my mom is a crazily devout Catholic who makes sure her whole family catches church every Sunday. When was the last time you went to a church service? Last Sunday. When did you learn to ride a bike? I never learned :( A couple of years ago my dad tried to teach me and I was able to retain my balance for like three seconds, but I was never able to repeat it. What do you hate the most about summer? When it gets too boring it’s usually easier to fall into depression or negative thoughts in general. What is your favorite thing to do in a swimming pool? Just float in the water and relax. Which part of your body is the most muscular? I don’t know. Do you like sugar skulls? I’ve never encountered those before, so no.  Have you ever painted a sugar skull on your face? Nope. Are you an artist? I am not. Did you ever take Latin in school? No, but we were briefly taught French in Grade 1 because my school's origins is in France. They didn’t keep up the lessons, though. What was the last race you ran called? Idk, does Mario Kart on my phone count? Hahaha Do you prefer to run in the street or on the sidewalk? I prefer to...not run at all. Which major holiday is closest to your birthday? Easter Sunday, typically. Does your zodiac sign fit your personality at all? I don’t care. What is your zodiac sign? Taurus.

[lovejustforaday]

Album Review - You Forgot It In People by Broken Social Scene

You Forgot It In People - Broken Social Scene

Main Genres: Indie Rock

A decent sampling of: Post-Rock, Chamber Pop, Noise Pop

WARNING: One of the tracks on this album features prominent usage of the F slur and themes of self-harm.

Something that only the nerdiest of music nerds care about, which naturally I think is pretty interesting, is the difference between “alternative rock” and “indie rock”. Both are scenes that basically came out of a counter-cultural reaction to the over-produced world of 80s radio rock and hard rock. There’s definitely a lot of overlap in terms of bands that fit well into both categories, so they’re best understood as two scenes inside of one larger movement. But still, I would absolutely make the case that “alternative rock” and “indie rock” represent two distinct things when it comes to sound and approach.

To me, indie rock is the world of mature, often bittersweet, slightly weirder/dorkier rock music that’s ideally made best to be enjoyed by introverts and college students, even though anyone can love indie rock. There’s also a distinct DIY ethos and aesthetic to most of the indie rock scene that really defines the name.

Meanwhile, alternative rock is smart and subversive but still largely accessible, radio-ready, and flashy. In my mind, alt rock embodies a lot of the rock-star image that hard rock, glam, and heavy metal conjure up, just with a little more introspection and down-to-earth-ness.

Anyhow, the only real reason I mention any of this at all is because when I was a teenager in high school, it was mostly all alternative rock for me. I was into Garbage, The White Stripes, and Smashing Pumpkins. Bands that were subversive and challenging, but also huge successes with a clear rock-star appeal. Sonic Youth was one of my early loves too, and they sorta bridged the gap between ‘indie’ and ‘alternative’.

But if I’m being honest, Broken Social Scene and their enthralling 2002 LP You Forgot It In People was my gateway drug to the world of indie rock.

Like many of my first indie records, this was an album that my older brother passed down to me, and likewise this album in particular represents how important his influence was in helping me to discover so many great bands. It also represents the last days of my senior year and the fleeting summer of transitioning to university that followed, which is a time in my life that I deeply cherish.

Truthfully, a lot of the albums that I loved from those years have worn off a tad bit as I delve deeper into their influences and more music in general. But this still totally holds up as one of the best things I’ve ever heard from start to finish. You Forgot It In People is one hell of an ambitious record, and I have a lot of favourite moments on this album. But first, let’s take a look at the “band”.

Broken Social Scene are a Canadian indie rock ensemble that formed at the turn of the millennium. Spearheaded by Kevin Drew and Brendan Canning, other members of the group are rotational and the band regularly has upwards of seven members at a time. Broken Social Scene has hosted some of the most successful creative minds in the Canadian indie scene at early points in their careers; You Forgot It In People alone features Feist before her big breakthrough, as well as Emily Haines the lead singer of Metric who would go on to drop their first LP a year after this record.

Essentially, You Forgot It In People is a legendary piece of 21st century Canadian indie rock lore. Everything here is so ridiculously tight, so brilliantly conceived and crafted with care, and yet you can also totally feel that it’s a bunch of indie kids throwing stuff at the walls and seeing what sticks. This might sound pretentious, but I think I can honestly just feel how important a moment this record was whenever I listen to it.

It all starts with “Capture The Flag”, a short two minute instrumental opener of building ambient suspense, like a far away twinkling object in the night sky getting closer and closer.

This leads into “KC Accidental”, a sublime burst of rock instrumentation and fresh morning air that, incidentally, makes for a great alarm clock on your phone. But in all seriousness, this track is one of those moments of pure musical euphoria that feels like it could encompass the entire world.

“Stars and Sons” is so slick and smooth, I feel like incredibly hot stuff every time I listen to it, and it’s one of my absolute favourite tracks on the album. Brendan Canning’s cool vocals and the guitar riffs here both remind me of a cold glass of water, so clear and refreshing. I also just really love the laid back but propulsive feeling of the song and those claps get me every time. Seriously sexy production, an incredibly satisfying auditory experience.

“Almost Crimes” is a triumphant noise pop jam session of guitars, saxophones, drums, and synthesizers that makes me wanna jump up and flail around until I get dizzy and throw up. Kevin Drew and Feist make a wonderful duet - Kevin’s laid back slacker vocals are swallowed by the chaos while Feist’s melodic shouting becomes part of the chorus of noise.

This LP features quite a few instrumental tracks but “Pacific Theme” is definitely my favourite of them. True to its name, the lead guitar riff sounds like it’s floating lazily along a gentle ocean breeze while the rest of the music bubbles beneath the surface of a lively blue ocean. I wanna lay in a hammock by the beach with this song playing in my headphones as I stare up at a cloudy blue sky. Seriously, this track genuinely sounds like the colour “blue”, maybe even “ultramarine”.

“Anthems For A Seventeen Year Old Girl” is the signature song of You Forgot It In People and it’s one of if not THE essential bittersweet teenage indie anthem. The song is a heart-wrenching chamber pop ode that vocalist Emily Haines dedicates to her teenage self, a sad reflection on how society forces you to suppress your free spirit and act a certain way when you grow up with the simple refrain “used to be one of the rotten ones and I liked you for that / now you’re all gone got your makeup on and you’re not coming back” being repeated again and again over pained strings and a sad-happy banjo riff until you’re probably left in tears. This might be my one true favourite song on the LP, but then again You Forgot It In People is such a varied experience that it’s hard to pinpoint just one song.

“Lover’s Spit” is the other emotional core of You Forgot It In People, a grand and swaying chamber rock ballad that paints an oddly dramatic and emotional scene of oral sex with its lyrics. It’s not that erotic at all really, kind of sad sounding actually as if it were about having sex right before the end of the world. The backing band on this track sounds like it’s absolutely drenched in some kind of rainstorm. I know this sounds like a really weird combination of moods and ideas, but it actually works really well and I think this track is one of the most quirky and charming “sad” indie songs I’ve ever heard.

Meanwhile, the follow up track “I’m Still Your Fag” is warm, soothing, and folky, but the lyrics are downright miserable. The song is a story of two former same-sex lovers from the perspective of a gay man who was left in the dust by his closeted ex who left him for a heteronormative family life with wife and kids. The lyrics reference the narrators feelings of betrayal and abandonment, as well as self-harm and the narrator’s hesitant participation in his ex-lover’s kinks.

To be honest I don’t know this for certain but I don’t think Kevin Drew is even gay or bi, but the emotional delivery is incredibly sincere and I’m personally not offended by his usage of the “fag” slur because contextually I think it captures a really poignant aspect of internalized self-loathing that many gay men including myself have experienced. This is still a very bitter track for me to listen to even now, but it’s oddly comforting and beautifully poetic.

The album closes with “Pitter Patter Goes My Heart”, a small stripped-down instrumental reprise of the strings on “Anthems For A Seventeen Year Old Girl”. I think it’s a really excellent choice to reuse the signature musical motif of one of the most feelsy songs on the LP, especially right after the complete downer of the lyrics on “I’m Still Your Fag”. It leaves you with these little traces of tender memories and I think “Pitter Patter Goes My Heart” solidifies the emotionally rewarding experience of the LP.

It’s pretty obvious that a lot of really talented and creative people came together to make this project when you listen to it. Broken Social Scene really captured something spectacular on You Forgot It In People. I’m really glad I was able to first hear this LP at what feels like exactly the right time in my life, but truthfully I’ve only come to appreciate it more with time.

There’s a few tracks I didn’t mention here, but I should really reiterate that nearly everything on this album comes together in such a grand, perfect way and its one of the best flowing albums I’ve ever listened to. Seriously, if you’re someone who is at all into indie rock and you haven’t already heard this one, do yourself a huge favour and go experience You Forgot It In People for the first time.

10/10

highlights: “Anthems For A Seventeen Year-Old Girl”, “Stars And Sons”,  “Lover’s Spit”, “Almost Crimes”, “Pacific Theme”, “KC Accidental”, “I’m Still Your Fag”, “Cause = Time”, “Capture The Flag”, “Pitter Patter Goes My Heart”, “Looks Just Like The Sun”

[lovemesomesurveys]

do you have a favorite sibling? I’m closer to my younger brother.

apple or android?  I’m an Apple gal.

what color is the blanket/quilt on your bed? Currently I just have a top sheet, which is mint green.

any languages you want to learn? I’d like to be fluent in Spanish. My mom has been learning with the Duolingo app and it’s actually been helpful for me as well. I’ve been able to help her out and in turn brush up on it. It surprises me how much I still remember. 

is math easy or hard? I always struggled with math. 

do you play basketball? No.

ever prank called someone?  In middle school my friends and I prank called places a few times. So stupid. *face palm*

ever tried carrot juice?  EW, I have no desire to try carrot juice. I like raw carrot sticks with ranch, but cooked carrots and carrot cake are disgusting and I imagine carrot juice would be, too.

what's an unusual/weird food combo you like? People probably thought that Oreos and peanut butter were weird up until the Parent Trap aired, but I’m still addicted, years later. Doesn’t hurt to throw some fluff on there, either. <<< I love that combo. There’s peanut butter Oreos, but honestly regular Oreos dipped in peanut butter are so much better. Anyway, yeah I have a few food combos others would probably consider weird. The first that comes to mind is scrambled eggs and ranch. Scrambled eggs with guacamole and ranch are really good as well.

favorite milkshake flavor? Banana is the only flavor of milkshake that I drink. <<< Banana milkshakes are the best! Strawberry or vanilla are good choices as well, but banana is number 1.

favorite type of milk?  I’m lactose intolerant, so sweetened vanilla soy or almond milk. I don’t like to drink it by itself, though. Regular milk doesn’t taste good either, so I’m not missing out.

would you rather wear a suit or dress? I’d prefer dress pants and a nice blouse. 

best year of your life? Childhood years

how loud do you like your music in the car? I don’t need it bumpin’.

prefer to write or read? Read, definitely.

favorite apps? YouTube, TikTok, Kindle, Spotify, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, and Facebook.

did/does your favorite teacher wear glasses? Yeah, he did. I’m sure he still does.

how do you like your eggs if you like them at all? Scrambled, over-easy, hard boiled, deviled. 

ever seen snow? Yeah, but only a few times.

ever gone sledding? No.

favorite holiday?  Christmas, Easter, Halloween, and Thanksgiving.

is your hair long? Yeah, it goes down to my butt.

do/did you play an instrument? I played violin in the 4th grade and I also took piano lessons as a kid and for an elective my senior year in high school.

do you have a nintendo switch?  I do. 

ever skipped class?  Sometimes in college, but I definitely didn’t make a habit of it.

ever skipped a whole school day? Yeah. ^^^ Prior to college I only ever missed school if I was sick or had a doctor appointment (my doctor appointments were out of town and I always ended up being there awhile).

what is a fruit you refuse to eat? Oranges and tangerines. I’m actually allergic to tangerines.

would you rather gain weight or lose weight? I need to gain weight.

would you rather gain height or lose height? I wouldn’t mind being a little bit taller. <<<

when was the last time you ate cotton candy? I’m not sure, it’s been several years.

are both your eyes the same color? Yes.

do you prefer to carry a backpack or a purse?  I like using a mini backpack. 

do you like glittery things?  They’re pretty, but getting glitter everywhere can be annoying. Still, some glitter never hurt.

ever watched a play in the theater?  Yeah.

are you naturally blonde? No, I’m naturally a brunette.

do you have a pet rabbit? No.

do you have a pet fish?  No. I had a lot as a kid.

do you have a pet cat?  No.

do you have a pet chicken? No.

best thing that's happened today? Not much as happened, it’s barely going to be 8AM. I need to go to sleep...

opinion on brussel sprouts? Ew.

what color is your country's flag? Red, white, and blue.

are you studying any languages? No. I should really practice my Spanish again.

how many followers do you have on instagram? *shrug* Not a lot.

how about twitter?  *shrug* Not a lot there either. I don’t feel like checking either one right now to get an exact number.

are you brave?  No, I’m weak and scared.

how much would i have to pay you to get you to do karaoke? Gahhh, I don’t know. Getting up in front of people already is panic inducing for me, but then you wanna add singing to it?? Big yikes. I can’t sing, so it’d be humiliating. I don’t drink either, so I wouldn’t even have liquid courage. haha. Although, even when I did used to drink I’ve been to bars at karaoke night and there was no way I was getting up there. Not everyone who went up there and sang were good, but still... 

would you rather watch a movie from home or at the movies?  Can’t go to the movies right now, but when we could I enjoyed going. Some movies I have to experience in theaters the first time, it just makes it so much better. Like movies I’m excited about. And even if it’s not one I’m dying to see but looks good can be something fun to do. There’s some movies where I’m like eh, it looks like it might be good but I can wait until it’s released. 

last time you went ice skating?  Never.

have you cheated on a test? No.

painting or drawing? How about coloring.

art or science?  Neither.

dancing or singing? Neither. I wish I could sing.

history or geography? History. 

favorite season?  Fall and winter.

do you watch supernatural?  Nope. I’ve never even caught some of an episode before. 

if you could change your eye color would you?  Sure, blue or green would be nice.

what color would you change it to? ^^^

what is your religion? Christian. 

are both your ears pierced?  Yes.

[thehouseofgrey]

I got tagged in this ask game by @bookloveranimewatcher (i have so many of these to watch up on)

1. Hamburger or hotdogs

hotdog

2. If you had to live in the world of the last anime, book or tv show you’ve seen. How fucked are you?

assuming you don’t count my rematch of shadowhunters (bc if so RIP) the last thing the last tv show I watched was trollhunters  (which is actually a v cute show) so i’m like pretty okay with my odds of survival.

3. Any college advice (I really need some advise I am lost) (super optional this one)

so many

* carry a planner

* don’t take an 8 AM if you can help it. (you think you can handle it because hs started at 7:30 so how is this even different. i promise you it’s hell)

* in fact the more of your schedule you can keep between 10 Am and 4 PM the happier you’re going to be

* refillable water bottle with those little water flavor packets. saves you hella money and also makes you drink way more water

* work out for one hour at least twice a week. it doesn’t have to be anything strenuous. it can be walk down around the park. it can be a dance class. it can be yoga. find what you like and do it. the exercise increases the release of endorphins in your brain. endorphins help control mood. exercise literally makes you happier.

* don’t skip lectures unless you need to. i know it’s tempting but you’re only hurting yourself

* use your on campus resources. the health center if you have one. the counseling center if you have one. they are there to keep you well.

* make a friend or two inside your campus police station. not only will it makes you feel instantly better whenever you see them around campus but you now have a trusted contact in case of any, god forbid, emergencies.

* join a club or organization. easiest way to make friends

* i know college students have to work, but if you are working more than 20 hours a week, odds are you’re spreading yourself too thin.

* try to make nice with your roommate(s). it’s easier to live with someone if you can talk to each other. my friend heather practically lived with me and my roommates last year because she and her roommate exchanged maybe 3 dozen words in the whole year.

* make lists before you need to go to the grocery store. it’s really hard to make sure you get what need if you can’t recall off the top of your head. keep a running list as you think of it.

* everyone has comfort objects at school. they just do. blankets or stuffed animals that mean the world to them. no one is going to look at you twice for having one.

* go to events. plays. go see like at least one football game. go to homecoming. go to your res hall’s movie marathon. don’t stay holed up in your room

* netflix and/or hulu is a wonderful investment. if you and a friend can go like halvesies and where one of you buys the netflix and one buys the hulu and you share, you’re in wonderful shape.

* surge protectors. the ones with the switches. at least two of those

* between you and your roommate(s) you need/ will want a mini fridge, microwave, and kuerig. touch base before you move in to see who has what.

I’m sure there’s more but that’s all i can think of off the top of my head and i’m sure it’s a good start.

4. Do you play a instrument? Do you sing?

No, but i’d love to learn one. Yes, i sing. I’m no Adele or Ariana Grande or whomever but I can carry a tune.

5. What’s your unusual skill?(Mine’s knitting)

I don’t think i have an unusual skill. except for maybe my apparently uncanny ability to estimate fl oz of liquid. (if you want to hear the story i’ll tell it but otherwise suffice it to say, i think there’s a few people on this campus who are convinced i’m an alcoholic)

6. Favorite fruit?

Golden Delicious Apples

7. Which school archetype do you think you fit into best? Which one would you want to be in?

Definitely the Nerd Type. My group was the one where we sat in the corner and discussed fandoms and some of them played like their card based rpgs. i wouldn’t trade that group for anything in the world, but i always did secretly wish my school had a color guard team because i wanted to be a flag twirler. 

8. Do you consider tomatoes a fruit or a vegetable?

vegetable but it doesn’t matter because i hate them and almost everything made by them

9. Do you have a pet? Would like to have a pet if you don’t already?

So many. if we consider my dad’s family still part of my family (even though he won’t even talk to me anymore) then i have between my mom’s and my dad’s three dogs and four cats. I would love to have a massive pet python though. (that’s something for when i move out)

10. What’s jobs did you want to be when you were really young?

i was adopted so for a long time when i was younger i liked to pretend my birth parents were royalty and there would send for me some day and i would get to be a princess. aside from that, i always wanted to be an actor, but my mother constantly told me i was neither attractive enough nor talented enough to make it worth my while and that i needed a real job so... (i mean she was definitely right about the attractiveness part. I might be able to pull off a solid 7 with full makeup and such.)

My questions

 Do you believe in ghosts, spirits, angels/ demons, etc? Have you ever encountered any?

If you could cameo in any t.v. show still on the air, which show would you pick and what would your character be like? (i’d wanna be a warlock)

do you have a favorite musical?

what would you do with ten million dollars?

what’s one thing that’s not socially acceptable to do that you definitely would do if you could get away with it?

do you believe in soulmates?

how do you feel about rain? what about snow?

do you collect things? if so what do you collect? ( i collect notebooks)

i you were throwing a dinner party, and you could invite any 10 living people, who would you invite and why?

what’s your favorite quote (it’s okay to have more than one) and where/who is it from?

I’m tagging: @codeblackglitter @halfaheartus @alecslittlesnores @247malec @howeverlongittakes23 @waystobuild-blog and anyone else who wants to play!