#i NEED that debt to be paid off fr

[sanchoyo]

guess who got a JOB 👈👈😎

[ghostgirl101]

Imagine if Paul Atreides claimed you as his destiny: PART Ⅰ of Ⅱ

|| Word Count: 1.5K || Angst → Fluff ||

A/N: I had this as a big idea that I had to get down before the basic headcanons and stuff, so here's my take on our Lisan al Gaib 😎 if you like this then hit me up for some relationship headcanons and the like, I'm up for it all. Enjoy reading or watching the movie if you haven't already - I'm going again lol, and screen X is the best way to experience it fr Also I feel like I should write a second part to this lmao, if you liked what you read?

You weren't one for dreams of destiny.

The dreams you had seemed meaningless, confusing, nothing to do with what ifs and what could. Not like his.

But you always seemed to feel some kind of atmosphere, an aura you couldn't quite shake off, even when you woke up from the darkness. There was no face to go with the voice, the voice in the dark that called to you in whispers that you didn't understand. Beautiful words that weren't yours, but sounded so soft and gentle and powerful, as they reached out to you from distant lands.

You could never place them, pin them down and study them, understand them, until the day the Emperor was challenged by a ghost of a lost House, thought to be dead, left to be forgotten. You stand near the Emperor and his guards and men, the Great Houses looming and listening from higher above, as the Fremen fill up the space to watch the confrontation in spirited anticipation.

The life debt was paid. The late Emperor was overthrown. The ascendancy of Paul Atreides rose and took from the throne to claim it.

His attention flicks from his eyes boring coldly into the Emperor's, to meet yours, his voice smooth and set, full of conviction and force.

"Our destiny is together. I'll take her."

Your eyes widen slightly as his words sink in, blinking through the shock and incredulity that rushes through you and makes your heart race in apprehension and wonder. Though his voice twins with your wandering dreams, you don't know whether to feel fascination and longing, or fear and cautiousness at some greater force beyond your understanding, playing out before your very eyes.

"I..." your voice falters in uncertainty and disbelief, and you try again. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me well," Paul responds with an undying, stoic certainty that's almost unnerving. "As I know you."

His eyes study you, his Spice-stained blue eyes bleeding into yours, scanning every freckle on your face and curve of your outfit. Assessing you, knowing you, ridiculous throngs of power filling his aura and projecting onto you with his intense stare. You have to fight not to shiver under it, ultimately failing.

"What of me?" is the wisest reply you can think of before the silence stretches into dangerous uncertainty.

"Everything," Paul says evenly, but there's no mistaking the challenge and determination in his tone, almost daring you to reject him, to disagree, a built-up desire of dreamt promises resolving his stand. "I choose you, as my Empress. We will rule together, over the Empire."

Scepticism and bewilderment washes over you and makes your blood heat and stir, retreating into silence as he takes a step closer to you, gazing at you as if you're the most curious, exotic being he's ever seen.

Desire threatens to override Paul Atreides' reason, clinging onto the hope and chance of a narrow way through to light, a light that could only be sought out with you by his side. Without you, there was nothing in sight but pools of blood replacing luscious marine life and oceans running through Arrakis, disarray and disillusion at every turn and infecting every heart.

You were absolutely perfect.

And you were already his, long before this moment, before you and he were born into the world and named. There was no manipulation needed, because everything was laid out for him to take, welcoming him to rule and grow higher and higher. Fate had bonded you and strung you along to here and now, and as you blink up into his bright eyes that narrow slightly at you, frowning softly as if you hadn't understood his demand.

"Do you know what I am?"

You pause for a moment, speaking slowly and cautiously, as the crowd of Fremen and the wary, late Emperor watch on in tense wordlessness. "You are Leto Atreides' son. Former Duke of Caladan."

"What I am," Paul repeats evenly, "not who I am." He stares at you in silence for another beat, before speaking up again. "Do you know of the Bene Gesserit?"

You stop yourself from glancing in Lady Jessica's direction just in time; the runes patterning her skin, her once soft eyes now spiked with an unfamiliar darkness of ages past. Anyone could get trapped in her watchful glare, and her son's holds almost as much intensity.

"No," you decide on hesitantly.

"Kwisatz Hederach," he adds, taking another step forward until you can feel his breath tickling your cheeks, standing above you with unspoken grace and vigor. "I see the future. A part of me is the future."

His hand is suddenly squeezing yours warmly and tightly, making you flinch slightly and glance down at them before looking back up at him.

"In this future, I am with you."

All you can do is stare at him in awe and wariness, not knowing whether to let your curiosity guide you, or distance yourself as far as possible from the boy who reigns over the dunes.

"Why?" you whisper, the crowds seeming to fade around you as you focus on the boy in front of you, his fingers tangling with yours boldly.

"I've seen it," Paul insists, his tone a touch softer in thought and wistfulness. "All of it. When I am with you..." His grip tightens over yours, the fire in his eyes returning. "We're unstoppable."

"And..." your words dry before you can speak them, and you will yourself to go on, unable to break away from the deep blue hues of his gaze. "And without?"

His jaw visibly clenches at your question, and his hand drops yours, shaking his head only answer as he glances away in slight frustration.

"You don't have the leisure of choice. It's all been made for you, written in the sands and stars, and what you need to do is walk in its path. I will show you the way. You have no other. Do you understand?"

The firmness is strong in his words and glare, making you look away from him too, still in a slight stun over the rush of events. In less than a day, your freedom has been stripped to this young man's desires and destiny, entwined with yours. You, who barely knew him until now, only familiar with his voice, his words, that echoed and rang in your head like a lullaby.

But this feels so harsh and strict. The eyes of the former Emporer linger between the two of you, and Paul's army of Fremen stand behind him attentively, some gazing at you in admiration and hope, of their messiah's promised bride. And she is beautiful.

"That's unfair."

"The future is unfair," Paul says calmly, his collected, cool tone wavering for a moment. "But it will be so much worse without you by my side, and I will not accept that. Not for my people... not for myself."

You stare at him in fascination and caution, lost for words. His fingers rise to brush against the skin of your cheek, sending tingles in their wake and making you fight back the automatic reaction, your eyes following his surprisingly gentle touch. Two fingers trace down the shape of your cheek down to your chin, tilting your head slightly upwards. Just one step closer, and your lips would be touching too.

"Name anything," he murmurs to you, the Fremen straining to hear his voice as it reaches you effortlessly, his expression earnest and determined. "Anything. And it is yours. Only if you willingly wed me in turn. Not as a concubine, nor a mistress."

You blink, then blink again, taken aback as a million thoughts and suggestions race through your mind and make your head spin for a split second. You glance at the elder Emperor, who gazes back at you and the infamous Lisan al Gaib wearily, his eyes clouded with sombreness and light spite.

"I... I don't," you shake your head, overwhelmed by an impossible choice. "I don't know..."

Paul's expression softens into a smile you haven't seen before, one that makes your cheeks flush with colour as you watch him; a gentle, amused smile that's somehow familiar and unfamiliar all at once, one meant just for you, as he disregards his surroundings.

"You will know," he replies quietly, "and I will have you, and protect you, rule with you. Love you. As I am meant to."

Paul suddenly brings you closer, pulling you into a searing kiss without warning. The exotic, earthy taste of the Spice on his tongue floods your senses and sends shudders of ecstasy and heat coursing under your skin and hushing the myriad of thoughts buzzing in your mind in an instant.

When he pulls away, all too soon, you find yourself chasing his lips before you catch yourself, and Paul gives you another soft smile, his forehead resting against yours as your eyes lock.

"And as I long to," he finishes against your lips, his words grounded with a look of protectiveness and desire that makes you instinctively relax further in his hold.

⊹⊹⊹

From beyond you both, his mother smiles slightly at the scene, a hand hovering over her rounded stomach.

The first step has been made.

══════════════⊹⊱≼ part two coming soon ≽⊰⊹══════════════

[mrworldwideshoulders]

all the wrong places || reader x myg

After getting separated from your friends during a night out, you get stuck with a hefty bill – one that you can’t pay. So when a handsome, emotionless stranger covers your tab in a random act of kindness, you’re determined to track him down and pay him back. inspired by 24K Magic by Bruno Mars.

‣ Pairing: reader x yoongi (dual pov; feat. JK and Jimin) ‣ WC: 6.1k ‣ Genre: slight angst, fluff, strangers to lovers ‣ Warnings: alcohol consumption, reader and jimin joke about her being an alcoholic 🤪 (psa fr tho, please drink responsibly), credit card debt, yoongi (gently) manhandles the reader, bouncer!jungkook and his tattoos, jeon jungkook being freaking annoying, unrealistic scenarios that could only happen in a fic (is it fate, or is it just fanfiction?), reader in her dumb bitch era (said lovingly) ‣ a/n: same yoongi from my fics bang bang and give me novacaine; different y/n tho. i’d def recommend checking those two out first (though for this one i don’t think you really have to unless you’d like more backstory). i like this fic a lot and i think it’s cute so i hope you enjoy it too! as always, bannered and beta’d by the amazing april aka @onmypillow-onmytable​, plus credit for the general idea of this story! 😘 thx! ly – robyn ‣ P.S. I do not own BTS, their likenesses, or the music of Bruno Mars, they just inspire me.

part of the 24k magic collection (masterlist)

This might actually be the worst night of your life. Or at the very least, one of the most embarrassing ones. 

Your friends, who were supposed to be splitting the bar tab with you, have all but evaporated into thin air, and you’re so far gone you can’t even remember when you saw them last. And it’s starting to dawn on you, as your credit card declines for the third time, that you may have overdone it – in more ways than one. Declining once, that’s normal. Two times, that’s just bad luck. Three times declined, however, that’s just embarrassing. If there were ever a time you wished you were more proactive about budgeting and keeping your credit card paid off, it would be now. It’s not the end of the world, of course. You just won’t get your credit card back tonight, and you’ll have to come all the way back over here to retrieve it at some point – after you go home and recover enough of your senses to pay off some of the balance on your card. But going without your credit card for any length of time makes you anxious for some reason, and having to come back over here just for that doesn’t particularly fit into your already busy schedule. 

“Are you sure you don’t have another card?” The bartender that’s trying to close out your tab looks at you pointedly as you’re rummaging through your bag. You can feel the weight of his judgmental gaze all over you.

“No, but, listen,” you ramble, face hot with a mixture of shame and too much alcohol. “I wasn’t supposed to be the one paying for everything. My friends, they stuck me with the bill, and I really need—”

“Sounds like you don’t have very good friends.” He stares you down unsympathetically. “Either cough up or get out.”

“Can’t you just…give me my card back?” you manage helplessly. You feel tears of frustration starting to form behind your eyes. “I’ll come back and pay you tomorrow. I’m good for it. Really. I just have to—” Rearrange my entire bank account, pay off my credit card, reevaluate my whole life, and promise to stick to a budget from here on out, no matter how much Jimin and Nayeon want to go out drinking. Yeah. That’ll last about a week.  

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” grumbles a low, irritated voice from behind you. You turn to find a man dressed completely in black, with dark eyes and an expressionless face shrouded under a heavy curtain of black hair. He hands the bartender a sleek black card. “Here. Will you leave her alone now? Go back to pretending to do your job or something.” Your eyes widen. Who is this guy? And what is he doing? 

The bartender eyes you sullenly and hands you back your card. You turn to the man to thank him, but he’s already walking away, being swallowed up by the crowd. “Hey!” you call. “Wait up!” You push clumsily after him, jostling people left and right as you try to catch up with him. He’s at the front door before you’re finally able to tap him on the shoulder. 

“Now what?” he snaps.

“I just wanted to thank you,” you say breathlessly, taken aback by his brusque reply. “For what you did back there. I can’t even tell you how much I appreciate it. I was about to cry because of that guy, and then you just appeared out of nowhere to save the day. You must be my guardian angel or something.” 

He lets out a bitter chuckle. “Trust me, I’m no angel.”

Your cheeks seem to flush all over again and you almost forget the other reason you chased after him in the first place. “Oh! Money! I can repay you.”

His face doesn’t change. “Don’t worry about it. It’s not a big deal.” 

“But…it’s money.” Your face falls in disbelief. “Of course it’s a big deal. And I don’t like owing people anything. Especially money.” 

“Well, I’m not big on people feeling like they owe me anything either.” He shrugs. “So consider it forgotten. And stop following me.” He pushes through the front doors and out onto the street. 

You start after him again, but you stumble on your way out the door, falling almost directly into the bouncer’s well-muscled arms, one of which is adorned in a full sleeve of tattoos that recedes under the sleeve of his black t-shirt. “Careful,” he says, steadying you on your feet. 

“Um – thank you,” you manage. “That guy I was following. Did you see where he went?”

“Down there.” He points you toward the taxi stand. “He’s not bothering you, is he?”

“No, it’s just – I need to talk to him, but he keeps running away from me.” You march wobbily toward the man from before. “Hey! You!”

He sighs resignedly and turns around. “Do you make a habit of following random men out of nightclubs?”

“Only when they do me favors and won’t let me pay them back.” You plant yourself in front of him, arms crossed. 

“Look, I told you not to worry about it.” He scowls. “Do you really want to do something for me? Go home, pay your credit card bill, and forget you ever met me. You’ll only hurt yourself if you don’t.” 

“Suppose I don’t want to.” You gaze defiantly into his eyes. “Is that a threat?” 

“No. It’s a warning. I’d listen if I were you.” A taxi pulls up, and he grabs you by the arm, firmly, but loose enough that you could break away if you needed to, and pushes you inside. “Go home.” The door slams, leaving him standing there on the sidewalk. 

“Well?” says the driver impatiently. “Where to?”

You stammer out your address, still too stunned to think about anything else. Who was that guy? And what was that about a warning? He doesn’t seem like a bad person – why else would he have paid a stranger’s bar tab? 

Forget you ever met me. You’ll get hurt if you don’t. 

Why did he say that? You don’t know why, and you’re still far too drunk to figure it out tonight, but one thing is for certain. 

You’re going to track him down. And you’re going to pay him back.

Jungkook whistles as Yoongi heads back toward him. “That was a close one.” 

“Too close,” mutters Yoongi. “She could have blown the whole thing.” 

“What did you do, anyway? Weren’t you supposed to be blending in?” 

Yoongi shrugs. “The bartender was harassing her about her tab and her card wouldn’t go through, so I paid it for her. She wanted to repay me.” He thinks back to the look on your face, like you were about to burst into tears at any moment. A strange, unfamiliar surge of protectiveness in his chest, one that he hadn’t felt since he’d recruited Jungkook all those years ago. ”I told her she didn’t have to, but.”

“Aww.” Jungkook slaps Yoongi good-naturedly on the shoulder. “See, hyung? You’re a good guy after all.” 

“Hah,” he scoffs under his breath. “No. I’ve just gotten soft, that’s all. I’ll probably regret it in a day or two. No good deed goes unpunished and all that.”

“You say ‘soft’ like it’s a bad thing.” 

“Maybe not, maybe so.” Yoongi sighs, running a hand through his hair. “We should get back to work. We’ll stick around here until closing, then debrief in the morning.” 

“All right.” Jungkook nods, resuming his post near the front doors, despite the sidewalk in front of the club now empty at one o’clock, an hour before closing. “I’ll be here.” 

Yoongi heads back inside, his head still filled with thoughts of you, that defiant expression on your face when you’d asked him what would happen if you refused to forget him. Anyone else would have just accepted this good deed and carried on as if nothing had even happened, or worse, they would have screamed at him, told him he was overstepping and a creep, to fuck off and leave them alone. Why hadn’t you screamed at him? He’d even grabbed you, a stranger – and a woman – by the arm to push you into the cab. Yoongi knew for sure he’d overstepped there. You just didn’t do that when you were a man, not in this day and age – especially not when you were a man with a past like his. Even someone as supposedly stupid as he was knew that much. Why, he wondered, were you so intent on repaying him? Had no one ever done anything nice for you before? Purely for the hell of it, never expecting anything in return? The two of you must have something in common, then. No one had ever done anything like this for him – with the exception of Hoseok – but that was different. Hoseok was his friend, for one thing, and didn't understand the concept of taking no for an answer. At least Yoongi knew to just say thank you and get on with his life, instead of trying to push it. A chuckle rises in the back of his throat before he can stop it, and he swallows it down almost as quickly as it came, shoving aside the thoughts of you along with it. 

He tucks his hands into the pockets of his jacket as he forges back into the depths of the club. There was something about you, something that made you want to insist upon repaying a random man that had just done you a favor, something innocent, idealistic, even, that made him want to protect you. Something that made him want to know you, even if it was only as friends, to explore your thoughts, to live inside your head for just a day, to find out just what, exactly, was going on in there. But he would never allow himself to get close enough to discover what that was – or risk you doing the same. Someone like him and someone like you – that could be dangerous. 

Especially someone like you. 

As it’s beginning to turn out, tracking down your angel in black – that’s what you’ve been calling him – is far easier said than done. Somehow you’d stumbled up to your apartment after the cab dropped you off, and from there you’d somehow managed to let yourself inside and fall face-first into your bed, where you’d slept soundly until late the next morning, awakening with a pounding head and a foggy recollection of the man from last night, convinced the whole thing had to have been a dream and that your credit card, at this very moment, was probably stashed behind the counter of that bar. Or so you thought, because it’s definitely there when you go to check your wallet. That man, the angel in black – he was definitely real – and that means his warning was real too. The only problem is…you don’t have his name, and the only thing you can remember was that he was dark-haired and wearing all black – which could be literally any man in Seoul. Now it’s Wednesday, a week later, and you’re staring at your screen, open to a browser window that’s now littered with the failed remnants of your search, and rest your chin on your hand with a sigh. Ugh, what was I even thinking? How am I going to find some guy on the internet when I don’t even know his name and I can barely remember what he looks like? Talk about a needle in a haystack. You’re supposed to be working, as in, doing your actual job, but you haven’t been able to focus all week, and you've been off your game since that night. 

“What are you so laser-focused on over here?” comes Jimin’s lightly chiding voice from over your shoulder. His sudden appearance makes you jump and knock your hand into your half empty mug, causing a small wave of tepid coffee to slosh onto your desk. 

“Damn it, Jimin, you scared me!” You hurriedly reach for the wad of napkins you keep in the top drawer of your desk. “Don’t sneak up on me like that. You know I startle easily.”

“Sorry.” Jimin grins mischievously and leans in to take a closer look at your screen. “Y/n, are you seriously still looking for your mystery man? It’s been a week. You know, if he wanted you to find him he would have at least told you his name. Or slipped you his number. He was probably just being nice. People do that sometimes. Like on those hidden camera shows where little kids will ask you to help them cross the street or tie their shoes. Just accept it and move on already. He’s clearly not that worried about it. You said he had a black card, right? That kind of money is probably nothing to him.”

You finish mopping up the coffee and heave another sigh, sitting back in your chair. “I know It’s stupid. And I’m definitely wasting my time. But he saved my ass in a really big way. I can’t just move on like nothing happened. There has to be some way for me to pay him back. And besides…” You debate whether you should tell Jimin what he told you before he shoved you into a taxi. “He told me to just forget I ever met him, that I’d get hurt if I didn’t. I know it’s a bad idea to keep looking at this point, but you can’t just say something like that and expect me to forget about it. It only makes me want to find him even more.”

"That’s a weird thing for anyone to say," says Jimin, leaning against your desk, "but I suppose that's your choice, even if I do think you’re only setting yourself up for disappointment." 

"Thank you for the vote of support." You run your hands backwards through your hair and hum thoughtfully. "I guess I could always not pay my credit card bill and hope that it summons him out of the abyss to save my ass again." 

"Then he'll think you're trying to scam him instead of repaying him.” Jimin pats your shoulder. "Cheer up, y/n. Maybe you'll find him. Maybe you won't. But we've got a meeting about the new skincare line in about…" He checks his watch. "...two minutes? And they'll kill us if we're both late so maybe put a pin in that for now?" 

Of course, your actual job, the main reason you're able to have a credit card in the first place. "Shit, you're right. I completely forgot about that." You stand and gather your meeting materials into your arms. "What would I do without you, Park Jimin?"

"Mm, probably lose your job?" He straightens up and smirks. 

"Mean." You slap him lightly on the arm. "I wouldn't even be looking for this guy if you and Nayeon hadn't ditched and left me with your billion dollar bar tab." 

Jimin chuckles. "Okay, true, but need I remind you that you were responsible for most of it anyway?" He makes a tutting noise as you're walking down the hall. "Honestly, it's unnatural how much alcohol you can put away.”

"Please," you scoff, pushing open the door to the conference room. "I just have a high tolerance. It takes practice. You’ll get there one day."

“God, I hope not.” Jimin looks horrified at the prospect. “No offense.”

The meeting drags on, well into the afternoon, and your mind continues to wander in the direction of your angel in black, no matter how hard you try to pay attention to the subject at hand. Normally you’d be rapt with attention – skincare is your area of expertise, after all, and it’s been your dream to work at a cosmetics company ever since high school – but for the life of you, you just can’t seem to shake him from your memory and focus on your work. 

Wait. The bouncer. He was standing there the whole time you were arguing with the guy. That sleeve of tattoos was pretty distinctive-looking; you’d definitely remember it if you saw it again. It would be way easier to find him than the guy in black. And he works there. He’s more likely to be there than the other guy. Maybe he remembers something you don’t. 

As soon as the meeting ends, you hurry back to your desk, intent on getting all of today’s work finished by the time it hits six o’clock so you won’t have to work late, and spend the rest of the afternoon in a state of hyperfocus, only noticing that time has passed when you see that most of your coworkers are getting ready to leave. “Jimin.” You sidle up to him as he’s shrugging into his coat. “What are you doing tonight?” 

“Probably just going to head home and—” He stops and narrows his eyes. “You’re up to something, aren’t you? Is this still about that guy?” 

“I was thinking we could go back to that club,” you say earnestly. “There was this bouncer outside, and – well, I don’t really remember what he looked like either, but I’d know him if I saw him. I’m sure of it. I want to ask him if he remembers anything from last week. Maybe he knows something about this guy.”

“Y/n, it's Wednesday." Jimin says. “That place is going to be dead. I doubt anyone will be there, let alone your mystery man.” 

You make your best pouting expression. “You’ll come with me, right? For moral support?” 

“Fine.” Jimin sighs. “If it'll get you to stop fixating on this guy, I'm all for it. But you're buying me dinner.” 

You throw your arms around him. "Jimin-ssi, have I ever told you you're my favorite person in the whole wide world?"

"On multiple occasions.” He smirks. “This is the first time you've ever been sober, though." 

“Wow. See if I ever buy you dinner again.”

The club, as Jimin predicted, was nearly empty, with only a few clumps of people dancing here and there, a handful of people at the bar, and a completely different, tattoo-less bouncer working the front door, who seemed to think the man with the tattoos was a temp. 

“There’s nobody like that working here!” he bellowed back to you, over the thumping music. “Your guy’s probably a temp!”

“No, I’m positive!” you shouted. “It was here. I tripped going out the door and he caught me. I’d know him if I saw him. Are you sure?”

“I’m sure!” he said. “Would you mind stepping away from the door? People are trying to come inside.” You didn’t hang around much longer after that, figuring that if neither the bouncer nor your mystery man were there now they probably wouldn’t be there later either.  

“Well, that was a bust,” comments Jimin, once you’re back in a cab on the way home. 

You blow out a frustrated breath. “Yeah. Sorry to drag you all the way over here for nothing.” 

“Ah, don’t worry about it,” he says. “That’s what friends are for, right? At least I got dinner out of it.” 

“Ha, ha, ha.” You roll your eyes. “I knew I should have just waited ‘til the weekend. I was just so excited to test my theory that I jumped the gun a little.”

Jimin frowns. “Don’t tell me you’re planning on making another special trip back over here to look for this guy.” 

“Well…I was.” You turn to look at him, taken aback. “Why shouldn’t I?” 

“Y/n…” Jimin sighs. “I'm your best friend and I love you, but…don’t you think you’re going too far with this? You don’t think maybe it’s time to move on? I mean, what if this guy really is dangerous, like he said? What if you get hurt?”

You scoff a little. “Would a dangerous person really come right out and say they’re dangerous?”

“Yes. That’s absolutely what a dangerous person would say. Please let this go, y/n. I’m begging you. For your own good. The universe will forgive you this one time for not paying that guy back.” 

"I know, but…" I won't. You sigh. "One more time, Jimin. I have to try one more time before I can tell myself I did everything I could."

"Okay. One more time." Jimin's face softens. "But I'm going to hold you to that. No more midweek club nights, internet searches, whatever. You have to let this go because it’s weird that you’re still hung up on this."

"I promise. One more time, and then no more. If I don't find him this time, I'm done."

"Good. Be careful, okay?"

"When am I not careful?" Your best friend raises an eyebrow and squints at you with the most skeptical of sideways glances, probably armed and ready with at least a dozen examples of how you’ve most decidedly not been careful in the past few years you’ve known each other. "That was rhetorical, Jimin. Drop the judgy look, please."

“What judgy look?” he demands. “This is just my face.” 

“Uh-huh. Sure.” 

If Wednesday night’s visit was bad, then Saturday’s is even worse. It’s crowded, almost as crowded as it was the very first night the man in black saved your ass, with barely any good vantage points to park yourself and people-watch in hopes of catching a glance of your mystery man. You should have taken the other bouncer’s inability – or reluctance – to tell you anything about his tattooed coworker the other night as a warning – because it’s obvious that no one else is going to tell you anything about him either, for one reason or another. You’ve asked bartenders, waitresses, anyone who looks like they work there, and all that’s gotten you is in trouble with management. 

“We’re not allowed to give out that kind of information about our employees.” The manager’s eyes narrow. “Stop nosing around before you get yourself banned. Permanently.” With one final scowl he stalks off.

I guess that’s it, then, you think. You let out a sigh as you sit back down at the bar. God, what was I thinking? I never had any chance of finding this guy, not in a million years. Jimin was right. Why did I drag this out so long? It's time for me to move on. As soon as I finish this drink, I’ll walk out of this club and I’ll never think about him again. I’ll go home, and I’ll catch up on all that work I’m behind on because of him. No, I’ll get ahead. Yeah. That’ll show them. Part of you wants to feel relieved, but the realization only makes you feel dejected. Damn. I really wanted to meet him. You get to your feet, and collect your things, taking one last glance around the room. 

That’s when you see him. 

Your angel in black, drinking whiskey in the corner. Same black suit, same heavy bangs, same blank expression. Right as you’re about to leave and never look back, you just happen to see him? It’s too coincidental to be anything other than fate.  

You draw a deep breath, steel your nerves, and march up to his table. “And to think I was just going to walk right past you and out of this place forever. It's almost like the universe wanted us to meet again." You pull out the chair across from him and sit down. “You know, I never did catch your name.”

“That’s because I never dropped it,” he says dryly. “What are you doing here again? Didn’t I tell you to mind your own business?” 

“What, can’t a girl drink where she likes anymore?” You lean in. “Who says I’m here to mind your business? I’m busy minding my own. Which, as it turns out, happens to involve you – and making sure you get something in return for covering my ass that night. Thank you, by the way. You barely let me get it out last time.” 

He scoffs, sitting back. “I told you to forget about it. I didn’t spot you because I expected you to pay me back.” 

“Why did you do it, then?” You cock your head to one side. “There must have been some reason you felt like rescuing a damsel in distress. Nobody does anything without a reason.” 

The question seems to catch him off-guard for a moment, before he quickly regains his composure. “Why does it matter?” He stares down into his glass. “You don’t know anything about me. I could be dangerous for all you know. Like I've been trying to tell you this whole time.” Dangerous. There’s that word again.

“Well, you can’t be all that bad, or you wouldn’t have helped me out. And besides,” you muse, “if you were going to do anything to me you probably would have done it already.” 

“Suppose that’s true.” One side of his mouth twitches, almost imperceptibly. 

“Then again, maybe it is like you said. Maybe you aren’t a good person. But I don’t think that necessarily makes you a bad person. And I don’t think you would have done anything to me, even if you did have the chance. Which you did, the other night.”

A hard laugh escapes from his lips. "Clearly you haven't been listening to anything I've been saying. Because you definitely wouldn't be saying that if you really knew me.” 

You purse your lips thoughtfully. “Well, you know, I have this theory. Everyone has a color, right? Some people you can just tell whether they’re one way or another, black, white, whatever. But you…well, I’ve never met anyone like you before.”

“Hah. I’ve heard that one before.” The man avoids looking at you and stares down at the table, features set in an unreadable expression. “So, what color am I, then?” 

“Mm.” You grin. “First impression? Silver.” 

“Silver, huh?” He smirks. “Why silver?” 

“On the surface you’re a very gray person. Kind of an enigma. You’re not black and you’re not white, you’re somewhere in between, which makes you gray. But on closer inspection, anyone can see there’s something different about you that sparkles a little bit. Something that shines.” His face doesn’t move. “It’s just a theory, anyway,” you say hastily. “I’d have to get to know you a little better before I could really say for sure.” 

“What makes you think that’s going to happen?” An eyebrow quirks just slightly.

“Hm. You seem like the type who would have gotten up and left already if you weren’t at least a little bit interested in me, even if you came off as rude. And you’re still here, so you must be somewhat intrigued, right?” 

“That’s a compelling theory – but you're wrong. I might be an asshole but I'm not that kind of asshole.” He leans back, an arm draped over the back of the booth. “Anyways, before I answer your question, let me ask you one of my own: why are you so hellbent on paying me back to the point where you thought you had to track me down?” 

“You know, I’m not sure myself.” You rest your chin in your palm. “It just feels like the thing to do, that’s all. Most of the time strangers tend to either ignore me or glare at me when this kind of thing happens. You probably think I’m a mess. I know I do. I also know from experience that I can only ever count on my friends to have my back, so imagine my surprise when you, a random stranger, had my back the other night. You did something only my friends ever do for me.” You shrug nonchalantly. “And I always repay my friends.” 

“All right,” he says after a moment. “I won’t say I’m not at least a little impressed that you even found me. And now that you have…I’m guessing you’re not going to leave me alone until I give you what you want.” The whiskey swirls in his glass, resting in one long, slender hand. “Which is?”

“Dinner,” you say, boldly, without hesitating. “Or drinks, at least. I know I probably can’t afford what you’re used to. Obviously, considering the other night…but let me treat you sometime. Just to say thank you. Honestly, I’m a great date. Really. Or I should be." You sigh. "I've been on a lot, so I've had plenty of practice. But I promise I’ll make it worth your while. I even paid off my credit card. Just for you.”

He releases a resigned sigh and sets his glass down. “Okay. Say I agree, even though you have no idea what you’re getting yourself into and I definitely shouldn’t indulge you any further than I already have. Will you stop following me around if I do?”

“That depends. Are you going to ghost me as soon as it’s over?” 

“Now that,” he says, “depends on whether or not you’re as good of a date as you say you are.” 

“Oh, I’m positively delightful. Excellent conversationalist. Top-notch table manners. I won’t even stick you with the check this time. Best night of your life, guaranteed. Or top-ten, at least.” 

He pauses, looking like he might regret what he’s about to say. “Fine. We can have dinner. On one condition.” 

“Oh? What’s that?”

“You really have to stop following me around.” His expression turns dark. “It’s not a good idea for you to get involved with me. You could get hurt.”

“This again?” You sigh. “Let’s just see how dinner goes, and then I’ll decide if you’re worth any more of my time.” 

“You’ll decide, huh?” He eyes you. “You don’t even know my name.”

“I don’t know your name yet,” you correct him, “and that’s only because you haven’t told me what it is.” 

“Yoongi,” he says finally, after a moment of hesitation. A tinge of amusement plays across his features. “Min Yoongi.” 

“Yoongi,” you repeat. “It’s nice to finally meet you, Yoongi. I’m Y/n. Y/n L/n.” You extend a hand across the table. 

“Y/n,” he says, giving your hand a firm shake. It’s cool and dry, and you spot the barest remains of a scar on his palm as he pulls his hand away. “Only time will tell whether I’m going to be able to say the same for you.”

“Mm.” You shrug. “I think you’ll be surprised.”

“Like I said.” Yoongi gets to his feet, taking his glass with him. “Anyway. I have some business to take care of. Can you get out of here on your own, or are you going to be needing my help again?”

“I’ll be fine, but – wait, I didn’t give you my number. How are we going to get in touch?”

“Don’t worry about it.” He looks down at you and smirks, the unmistakable hint of a sparkle somewhere in those soft, dark eyes. “You seem to think we’re fated, so I’m sure we’ll run into each other again if we’re really meant to. We’ve exchanged names now.” Yoongi raises his glass slightly. “You can find out a lot about a person from just a name.” 

“Hey, wait a—” Yoongi is gone before you can finish your sentence, swallowed up by the dense crowds of the club. “He still didn’t answer my question,” you mutter. 

But despite all that – you have a hopeful feeling about the whole situation. 

"Yoongi," you repeat. "Who are you, Min Yoongi?"

The silence in Yoongi’s office the next morning is nearly palpable, the air between him and Jungkook filled with the sounds of clicking keys as they’re finishing up their paperwork on the case at the club. Even without looking he can sense the younger man eyeing him over the top of his laptop screen. Yoongi heaves a resigned sigh. “Spit it out, Jungkook. I can practically hear the gears grinding inside that giant head of yours.” 

Jungkook stops typing and leans forward, grinning in a suspiciously sunny manner. “I was just noticing how good of a mood you’re in today, boss,” he says. “Better than you’ve been in months.” 

"Bullshit I am." Yoongi’s eyes don’t move. “You're imagining things." 

“You are too!” Jungkook insists. “I told you good morning on my way in and you didn’t even tell me to stop bothering you and get to work.” He squints at Yoongi. “You said it back to me. And you weren’t even being sarcastic about it.”

“So I said good morning to you. Once. Big deal. I’ve been known to be cordial every once in a while, haven’t I?” 

“But you’re never cordial with me,” insists Jungkook. “You're cordial with clients. And people who are gonna give you money. Normally it’s all grunts and scowling when you talk to me. Something good happened last night, didn’t it? I saw you chatting with that girl, the one you paid the bar tab for last week. She managed to track you down, huh?” He’s not going to let this go easily. He’s like a dog with a chew toy whenever he finds an interesting enough tidbit to hang onto. 

Yoongi suppresses a sigh and presses his fingers to the sides of his temples. “Yeah, and? What are you getting at?”

“Oh, nothing.” He plasters an innocent-looking expression on his face. “She went through all of that trouble to track you down when most people would have just let it go. She must like you. Seems like you like her too.” 

Yoongi snorts. “Y/n? Flighty, irresponsible, doesn’t even know her own limits, so impulsive that the first thing she thinks of when a man does something nice for her is to follow him out into the street y/n? No way in hell.”

“And you, a guy who’s so cautious, practical, and down to earth that he never does anything without thinking about it for weeks?” notes Jungkook. “All I’m hearing is that you’d be perfect for each other. Opposites attract, you know?”

“The worst thing she could do would be to get involved with me,” Yoongi scoffs. “Trust me. It’s not happening.” He rolls a pen back and forth in his hand. “It’s not like that, anyway. She said she’d leave me alone if I let her do this. She doesn’t like me, she just feels like she owes me. That’s all. I’m just humoring her so she’ll leave me alone.”

“Uh-huh.” Jungkook smirks. “You do like her, don’t you?” 

“I didn’t say that,” grumbles Yoongi. “Why don’t you mind your own business for once?” 

“In case you’ve forgotten, hyung,” says Jungkook, still grinning, “you left me in charge of minding your business for the past six months. You know, while you were off the grid camping in the middle of nowhere?” 

“Yeah, and I’m starting to regret it,” he mutters. “Humor me and let it go. It’s too early for this shit.” 

“All right, fine.” Jungkook turns his eyes back to his screen, but it doesn’t last for long. “So when are you going to see her again?” 

“We didn’t set a firm—” Yoongi’s eyes narrow, pinning Jungkook with a searing glare. “Hey. I’ll fire you if you don’t watch yourself.” 

“Ah, go ahead and fire me, then,” Jungkook says cheerfully. “I’d like to see how well you manage without me covering your ass.”

Yoongi flings the pen in his hand across the table, aiming for Jungkook’s head, who easily dodges it. “Aish, you’ve gotten cocky since I left. I managed just fine on my own before you got here, thank you. You were the one who came bitching to me about how much you needed me to come back, weren’t you? This case that you just couldn't handle by yourself, even though you've probably handled about a dozen of the exact same type of cases all by yourself?”

“Come on!” snorts Jungkook. “We both know you were ready to come back. I just needed to make you feel good about yourself so you’d actually get off your ass and do it. You should be thanking me, hyung.”  

“Thanking you?” demands Yoongi. “What the hell should I be thanking you for?”

“I think you know.” Jungkook’s eyebrows dance suggestively, eyes twinkling. “Y/n – she’s pretty, isn't she?”

“That’s it. You’re getting demoted.”

“Okay, okay.” Jungkook falls silent suddenly before he speaks again. “I missed you, boss. Good to have you back.” 

“Ah, shut up,” Yoongi snaps. “And get back to work. These reports aren’t going to write themselves, you know.” 

Jungkook turns his attention back to his computer screen again, eyeing Yoongi’s scowl with a knowing smirk. Yeah. He totally likes her. 

©2023 by mrworldwideshoulders || series masterlist || collection masterlist || my masterlist ||

[liplinerloser]

Hi! May I request Kirari Momobami with a reader who disobey the rules of the School? Like not gambling or doesn't act like a pet, that stuff.

Have a good day :)

Yeah sure! Thanks for the ask, shit got me thinking fr

Hope it wasn’t too long or anything

Kirari Momobami with a disobediant reader

as we all know, Kirari herself is a self centred narcissist parading herself as an honest and true member of the school. She fully believes in abiding by the rules (her rules) and doesn’t appreciate the disruption of the order

so when she notices you, of course you were an issue only she could resolve

She first is aware of your unregulated behavior when she sees you directly disobey someone despite your mittens/Fido status, and she’s intruiged. You wouldn’t be the first case she’s seen, but she finds a particular enjoyment in breaking people like you down

She has a need to make you conform for her, before her, below her

At first she’s unknown and unnoticeable to you, but you aren’t to her. She will quietly keep track of you, watch your failures and wins in the gambling halls, your participation within the school and your rebellion towards the system

She’s particularly interested in your reasoning behind the rejection, seeing if your background could impact it, or your family, or your wealth. She won’t admit it but she’s digging into your history In order to find something on you. Dirt. So when the time comes she can use it to keep you obedient

The chances are you’re likely to evade her, that stops when she directly challenges you. And you fail (because of course you do)

Kirari had planned this moment too, as she had waited until you had nearly paid off your debts from previous years just to plummet you back into it

As if that wasn’t bad enough, she had decided to relieve Sayaka of constantly being by her side, opting for you to be waiting on hand and foot for her at her order like the obedient pet she would train you to be

Due to this however, Sayaka feels a strong disgust towards you for being a wedge in their “relationship”

Seeing as she encourages the mistreatment of students, her punishments for you will be no different. In fact they’re probably crueler to properly ingrain the schools hierarchal importance into you

She says the cruelty is necessary to fix you : “I’m doing this for you.”

After a while it feels less subservient and more like a toxic relationship. One minute she will praise you, for your work as her personal Mittens/Fido. Then on the next she will practically disregard you and throw you into losing games for her pleasure

She forms a sort of grim interest in you, not quite love, but a near enough obsession to keep you around. She likes the feeling she gets off your suffering to which she gladly contributes to

Due to this interest it’s likely she’ll never leave you to go back to your normal place in the school, she’s going to control you for a long time

After some punishments shes uncharacteristically sweet to you, tending to you, and sympathising. Only to put you through it again and again

However she’s very strict on the fact that you’re her play thing, and she doesn’t like sharing you.

If at the beginning of your role as a pet you decided not to be obedient, then that isn’t an option for her, she would snuff that flame almost immediately

If she struggles to find weaknesses in you to manipulate in her goal to ensure your obedience, she’s not below threatening people you love. She knows everything about you and will use it.

“Be good for me, and you won’t need to see them suffer”

By the end you’ll be moulded into the perfect gambling student, by herself only. But she’ll never let you go <3

[mintmatcha]

i stopped reading after two family houses idc idc sign me up i can cook, clean, everything ‼️‼️ need my student loan debt to be paid off fr 😭

he doesn't have a lot of money-- but once his parents die you are SET

[darlingshane]

cross my heart

Joe Teague x F!Reader

Rating: 18+ Warnings: Explicit. Smut. Angst. Fingering. Vaginal Sex. Smoking. Forced work. Some Love & Fluff.

WC: 1,7k

Summary: You work at a Gentlemen's Club, not by choice, and you're hassled by Detective Teague for information.

-- Read below or at AO3.

A/N: I wasn’t planning on posting anything today, but I was working on a couple of fics, and I got this idea for Joe that I quickly wrote instead of finishing all the wips I have.

After a long work night, all the girls spread out through the street like busy ants, all dressed in elegant black. A handful of them have cars waiting for them. The rest of you march up towards the bus stop. You lag behind, tired of those damn shoes hurting your feet, and finally decide to take them off. You clutch the heels in one hand and hit the pavement, letting the thin layer of your stockings be the only thing that separates your aching soles from the concrete slab. It feels better, though.

As you walk past the alley, you hear someone calling you sweetheart. It rolls out of his tongue like smoke. It’s so low it vanishes as soon as it touches the air near his lips.

You should keep walking. You really really should. But you stop on your tracks. You don't need to look to the side to know that's Detective Teague waiting in the shadows minutes before the sunrise. It's been a while. Like every man at the gentlemen's club you work at, he uses you, though he doesn't pay like a gentleman would do. He squeezes you for information in exchange for shallow promises of love, and getting you out of their hands safely one day. A day that will never come, you’ve come to accept. You're way too valuable for him to let go of you.

You know what he's after without him having to ask. Something is going down, and you, being Ned's favorite, have exclusive access to most of his deals. Men like to talk in the club, mostly about their business, and especially if they’re shady. That’s why they created this place to begin with. They certainly underestimate what women's brains can grasp on. Whether you're serving drinks, cigars, dancing on stage, or tucked in bed with them, you're all always gathering information.

The only exception between you and the rest of the girls, it's that you've been chosen by the Detective purposely to keep your eyes and ears open, because he has something on you. They all do. Even the men who forced you to work at the club. You have a debt to pay. A debt that wasn’t yours in the first place. It was your late husband’s, who stole something from them, and they’re holding that against you until it’s fully paid. Every dime you make here, goes directly into their pockets, like throwing salt into the ocean.

“I have nothing for you, Detective Teague,” you keep your head straight up, looking at a cab pulling up at the curb as two girls get inside.

“Then, why did you stop?”

“To tell you that I don’t know anything.”

“Why do you always try to protect him? He doesn’t love you.”

“No shit, Sherlock. I’m just trying to stay alive.” You finally glance at him to see him take a long puff of his cigarette under the low brim of his hat, “I heard something interesting about you, though, a couple of weeks ago.”

“That so?”

You nod, “heard you and Ned used to be best buddies.”

“That was a long time ago.”

“He ended up a crook lawyer, you came out a crook cop. It’s kinda ironic.”

“I’m not a crook.”

“No? I beg to differ.”

“Look, I know something is going to happen soon. I just need to know where and when. If we don't stop it, a lot of people are going to get hurt.”

“You care about people?”

“Well, some people,” he scoffs, “I care about you.”

“He’s a better liar than you are,” you shake your head, “and takes better care of me too.”

“Yeah? What has he ever done for you?”

“Tips better than you, for starters. It’s the only thing that’s keeping me from going homeless.”

“If you needed money, you just had to say so, darling.”

“I don’t want your money, Joe,” you turn your head again to see the bus taking off from its station.

“C’mon, get in the car. I’ll give you a ride.”

“No.”

“No? You’re going to be late for your shift at the diner.”

“You know so much about me; yet I know so little about you.” You sigh heavily, and even if you don’t want to, you stride towards his car and get on the passenger seat, placing your purse on your lap, and your heels on the floor.

“What do you want to know about me, sweetheart?”

“I don’t know,” you shrug, and think for a moment, “do you have a dog?”

His lips pull up at the corners, “no, I can’t take care of a dog.”

He starts the car, and it begins moving as you look out the window, watching the sun slowly rising, turning brighter by the minute.

“Are you married?” you ask next.

“Once. Not anymore.”

“Kids?”

He shakes his head.

“Do you like the beach?”

“Not particularly, no.”

“Do you… sleep with all your informants?” you utter with trepidation, and glance at him to see his Adam’s apple bobbing.

“No. I don’t.”

“Do you really care about me, or is it just an act just to get what you want?”

“I do care about you, sweetheart,” he gazes at you, so you can see the honesty in his doe-eyes.

You exhale as he pulls up in front of your building. You stay quiet in your seat, biting the inside of your mouth before asking him to walk you up to your apartment. If he wants to know what’s going down, you damn sure are going to make him earn it, and have him prove that he cares about you.

It’s your usual dance, he hassles you for information, and you use everything in your hand to hold onto it until the last minute. It’s very unhealthy, but it works for both of you. You get to feel loved, even if it’s just for a few minutes, and he gets his precious insight.

As soon as you’re inside the apartment, his eager hands rid you of your skimpy satin, black dress that’s tainted in smoke and Ned’s cologne. You take off his hat and hang it on the rack. Then, you undo his tie, unbutton his shirt, and push it all back over his shoulders along with his jacket. He slips off your underwear; first your bra, then your garter and panties, leaving your stockings on. He tilts his head and captures your lips, as you blindly guide him backwards to the bed. You slowly lower yourself, pulling him on top of you. He buries his face in your neck, as his hand slips between your thighs to rub at your folds with passion.

“You smell like him,” he grumbles against your skin, viciously collecting your arousal between his fingers.

“He smells better than you,” you lie to rile him up, and he pulls his head back to watch you react to his fingers, questioning you at the same time.

“Has he fucked you yet?”

“No,” you pant, gripping at his strong wrist, “go slower, Joe.”

“Why not?” his rough touch doesn’t waver.

“He doesn’t want to… doesn’t let me fuck other men either… Please, Joe,” you beg, clutching desperately to his arm until his fingers grant you some mercy, “figured, he wants me there for as long as possible. The less I fuck, the longer it takes me to pay my debt.”

“That’s nuts.”

“Oh, you think so, champ?” you retort, ironically, of course.

“No. It’s nuts that you have to work there at all,” one of his fingers slips into your slicked entrance, “what does he like to do with you, then?”

“He likes dancing,” you half-moan, as he strokes your walls back and forth, “he lets me touch him sometimes. Touches me too.”

“Like this?” he slips a second finger in.

“No. Not like this.”

“You take him in your mouth?”

“No,” you laugh breathlessly.

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

He deeply grunts, pleased, and his fingers slide off you. He kneels between your legs, opens his belt and fly, and releases his erection. He’s already throbbing as he trespasses your opening, stretching your walls with ease. He dominantly thrust into you with great power. He likes the illusion of you belonging to him, and you give it to him, cause you like it just as much. The thought of being only his has your core furiously furling and knotting in a million directions. The temperature of your body rises at the friction of his broad frame. Your nails are pressed hard on his back, seconds away from sinking into ecstasy. Your legs lock and he holds one of your thighs up to his waist, pushing sharply until you both come undone.

Joe kisses you sweetly afterwards; talks your ear off, promising and promising, saying he loves you more than anything, and he’d never let anything happen to you. He absolutely means it, and you half believe it. Actions speak louder than words, you've come to realize, and he’s yet to show you that you’re more than his informant.

Then, you curl against his side and tell him what you’ve heard in the last couple of nights.

“Someone important is coming from New York in a week. They call him The Duke. They're supposed to take him to the new club in San Diego. They’re also bringing some girls there.”

“Not you?” He lifts his head to capture your eyes.

You shake your head, “Ned said it wasn’t safe, he kept me out of it.”

“Good. I don’t want you involved in this, either.”

“What’s this exactly?”

“It’s better if you don't know, sweetheart,” he exhales as if the weight of the world was suddenly pressed against his chest.

“When am I going to see you again?”

“Hmm, soon, darling. If this goes right–”

“Joe,” you interrupt, “don’t say it if you’re not going to keep your word.”

“Shh, I’m gonna,” he wraps his arms tighter around you, and finishes his sentence, “if this goes right, I’m gonna get you out this time. For good. Maybe…” he pauses, smirking bashfully out of your sight, “maybe I could take you to that beach you love so much when it’s over.”

“Promise?”

“Cross my heart.”

[saltyloafy]

THEY PUT CRACK IN THE GREAT ACE ATTORNEY SOUNDTRACK DUDE I'M FUCKING JAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMINN

I want Partners ~ The Game is Afoot! played at my WEDDING, my FUNERAL, my BAPTISM, EVERYTHING. THAT SONG IS VERSATILE IT IS GRACEFUL IT IS FANTASTIC

ALSO EVEN JUST RYUTARO NARUHODO'S OBJECTION THEME IS SO????? I COULD LISTEN TO THIS FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE THE STRINGS OH MY GODDDDD THE STRINGS!!!!! AND THE TAIKA DRUMS? '???????? MELTINGMELTINGMELTINGMELTING

this needs to be separate from the rest of them bc my feelings for kazuma asogi ~ samurai on a mission are GHVGGRRREEEEEEEEEE3EEEEEEEEEEEEWEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!! genuinely squeak when I hear it I cannot not stim when I hear it its fr top 10 themes of alllll time for me I love it I love it I LOVE IT!!! I'M GNAWING ON MY BIT DOES ANYBODY HEAR ME OUT THERE HELLO. HELLO.. SAME THING WITH KAZUMA ASOGI ~ NOCTURNE I FEEL LIKE I AM ASCENDING INTO A SECONDARY PLANE LISTENING TO THIS

herlock sholmes ~ great detective of foggy london town makes me happy in a similar way but not to the same degree. BUT butbutbutbut I will say that hearing those strings NEVER fails to me make me smile and the TAPPING!!!! GOD SUCH A GOOD COMPOSITION GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGROWLGROWLBARKBARK. the tapping,,, the tapping is yujin's thing and its in sholmes' theme,,, much to think about much to think about

ok one more. the pursuit theme is AGGGGHHH!!!!!! PURSUIT ~ A GREAT TURNABOUT CHANGED LIVES. IT BIRTHED MY CHILD. IT PAID OFF MY DEBT. I LOVE IT SO DEARLY ITS SO HYPE THEY WENT SO HARD ON THIS SOUNDTRACK OHHHHHHHHH YASUMASA KITAGAWA YOU SON OF A GUN YOU'VE DONE IT AGAIN!!!!!! YOUU!!!!!!!!!!

ok I'm done I'm done I'm DONE (I'm crazy)

[victimized-martyr]

1, 3, 8, 15, 26

1. where do you fall on the kyman scale? mountain, tie, or pine?

uhhh I’m assuming this is fandom-jargon for top/bottom?? or who’s taller?? more dominant ?? actually lol I still have no idea what these mean sorry, I’m a baby in this fandom. sorry i can’t answer this, idk 😭

3. where/when/why/how do they get together?

lol thats a whole ass fic just begging to be written. My opinion will probably change, and these two are so unpredictable fr so WHO KNOWS how they’ll end up together, if they ever do. Will be an absolute miracle fr. But here’s my attempt:

Where- somewhere private, just them two. Could be either of their rooms, stark’s pond, the woods, hell maybe @ a U-store it.

When- the EARLIEST I can see them get together, is their last years of high school. Otherwise, sometime after college. Not during college… I think the boys’ career paths will divulge and all 4 of them won’t be able to hang as often. They adjust from the definition of friendship from childhood to adulthood lol. So, it makes the most sense to me they get together as adults. I’m talkin, they’re in their early thirties.

why-follow up to above^ Kyle and Cartman are doing… fine in their lives. Bills are being paid, they each have a job, but Kyle stays in south park because firstly, growing up with the debt of the entire city fucks up Kyle’s credit, and also he stays out of obligation to his family (and hey! he doesn’t have to worry about buying a house), and on a deeper level… he doesn’t know what to do with himself. with the boys out of south park, he’s never learned how to live outside those relationships. What are his hobbies? Who is he? What does he want? Cartman, meanwhile, is a wild card. He could be in another country, maybe he’s working in denver as a freelance photographer, maybe he went to los ángeles to do something with his talent, maybe he got stuck in South Park too, taking care of Liane and feeling trapped because she doesn’t have anyone else in south park and damnit Cartman’s a moma’s boy through and through. No matter what Cartman does though, he feels hollow.

Kyle and Cartman learn from their time apart that outside of their fights, they value each other’s company. There’s a mutual intensity, a fierce competitiveness that stimulates their brains, a deep bond that they can’t shake off. They’ve been obsessed with each other since they were in diapers…. they don’t have a choice in staying together in SOME proximity to function. It’s vital to their survival.

how- it’s NOT over a peaceful dinner or a lazy day of hangin with the bros that’s for sure lol. It’s south park. They can’t get a moment’s peace and nothing will ever be mundane. I imagine that it takes a large scale event, laden with toilet jokes or a matter of politics, or some wacky hijinks, where they nearly lose each other.

Kyle has a realization he agonizes over for days on end “holy shit I need this motherfucker in my life like goddamn oxygen, no way, no fucking way, HIM???”

with Cartman, things just kinda click. It’s painful acceptance of what’s been there probably since the beginning. It’s a lot to handle. Prolly to the point he actually develops a fever over it and whines like a diva. “Oh.. all those sexual fantasies of Kyle make so much sense… I’m never going after anyone else that’s not Kyle. Kyle Kyle Kyle!!! Oh god, I want Kyle! It’s always been Kyle!”

8. who is the breadmaker? (follow-up question, who’s the stay-home dad?)

hm… their futures are very muddy to me rn. To paraphrase Kyle in Mexican Joker, the decisions the characters make *right now* affect the future…Post Covid and Future Me’s endings support this idea, that the slightest decision can like, alter an entire career path and character development.

With the direction Matt and Trey are taking Cartman and Kyle as of Streaming Wars, Kyle would definitely be the bread maker. not that Cartman’s lazy (he is, but Kyle would NOT let him be), but because his ambitions change from day to day. As a result his career path will likely not be as conventional (so in Kyle eyes, unstable lol). Cartman, as he’s acting right now, would be absolutely content as a stay at home dad. He’d get to tap into that hedonism left over from childhood “I hardly have to lift a finger! If I want the newest X-box, my hubby Kahl will get it for me 💞”

no matter what role Cartman will take though, he WILL want to be in a position of authority. Be it a Ceo, or director, head detective..even as a stay at home dad, he WILL fight the Becky’s and Karen’s to be THE director of HOA in his town. He WILL be obnoxious about it too and probably integrate aspects of that job into his personality like he did being a rabbi in PC jfjfkgk (seriously who on earth screams about their love of abraham while having sex. Fuckin Werido. He might’ve changed for the better but Cartman definitely let it go to his head hhfhfh he integrates his interests into every aspect of himself, even foreplay. like goddamn Mattrey u made a freak fr)

15. headcanon heights and body types?

basically what we have in canon!

Kyle is the tallest (6’2) and the skinniest, no matter how much he eats. his jersey side keeps him from ever appearing lanky. I imagine he’s got very nice toned legs.

I do believe on some level Cartman IS big boned, so no matter what he might do to lose weight, he’ll always appear “big”. But of course, Cartman is nothing without his blubber, so he’s fat forever in my eyes. I think Cartman’s got a pear shaped body where a lot of his fat just goes to his mid section and ass (indeed, there is truth in his moniker), but was graced with the cherubic looks of his mom, so as he grows up, not a lot of fat goes to his chin. In fact, he’s got a well defined face. Any trace of chub is stored in is his cheeks. He’s a short lil guy (5’6)

26. why do you ship kyman?

Oh god… this is such a loaded question 😭 where do I begin?

in part, I truly can’t see them with anyone else. Does that make sense? Like, heiman arc and Cartman Finds Love showed us that Cartman and Kyle will sabotage each other’s romantic relationships and make it about each other. The gf becomes white noise, or worse, a prop in their fight. I pity any woman that dares come between them.

I also ship them because they have such an electric, rich and iconic dynamic. It’s one of the pillars of the show. There’s literally never a dull moment with them, all their interactions, be it simply playing a game and smiling at each other, teasing each other on the playground, running washington redskins, playing airsoft as a broship, is such a delight to watch.

As I said in the Why section of the ask, they complete each other in ways they might never come to terms with, but is super obvious to the audience nonetheless. They stimulate each other, there’s no one else that can bring out like, every single human emotion as intensely as kyle and cartman do with each other.

also, I ship kyman bc canon dumptrucked all this cosmic shit. They saved each other’s lives unknowingly, they’re the only ones in town to share the same fuckin blood type and kidney, like broh this shit is writing itself I’m just here for the ride.

[conniemb]

Working in minimum wage fast food is probably like the worst vibe ever tbh when your frustrated with where your at in your life. Like seeing people with their shit all figured out serving them coffee before they go off to their adult jobs and be out here just living. It's like a massive slap in the face while I'm stood here getting paid pennies, Hella in debt had to drop out of college because I can't afford it/ brain chemicals hate me so college is even harder and it's just like b r u h. I hate holiday season bruh fr cuz like it's just money money money and the need for it shoved in your face 24/7 and as someone with no money it's like AHHHHHHHH and then I have to spend more money to travel and see family etc. Like I have plans in place to make shit work and get through it but yano little road bumps pop up here and there all the time and it makes it fukin stressful. I just wanna have the energy to sit at home and make shit and get paid to do it ;^;

[princess-pill-enjoyer]

Yet another notice that I aint dead just yet!

That meltdown was.... pretty bad I won't lie. I actually did try that time.. first time in 5 years lmfao

I won't go too in detail. I feel like I talk too much all to say the same two things over and over again. It was a really weird feeling though. My previous attempts throughout my childhood were kinda misguided. Like the intent was there and all but.. ya know. Barely got over the fear of my parents busting through my room with printouts of my search history 😭

Soo although throughout my life I've probably tried to unalive myself 7-8 different times I really only count or mention about 2 of them (and barely that tbh). I never really researched further into what exactly it'd take for all that. I think the good majority of those are random days I'd get upset and just pop a few handfuls of... usually ibuprofen? I mightve tried it with Tylenol as well but 9 times outta 10 we'd usually have more orange pills so it just made sense in my mind

Anyway. Yeah. First time really being 1000% certain about what it'd take. It was kinda scary. Having all the shit just.. lying there. Knowing that it was gonna at the very least cause some actual damage once it was all said and done. It didn't end up mattering anyway. I mean. I'm here 💀💀💀

As far as life updates? Uhh. Well me and R are speaking. Not really but. I at the very least can almost always know she's safe + alive so I'm fine with it for now. I really don't have the energy atp to fight to go back to before her ex dipped

Uhh i think I dipped right before my training really started but today was my first day really doing the job part of it. It was alr. I'm gonna jump ship as soon as I get my preferred place all down pact but for now the only real downsides is A. Having to verbally speak for hours and hours kinda having to throw away my speak-when-spoken-to/tbr... only when needed to keep up with appearances. Hence why 99% of what I say nowadays is just shit I'd expect the person to want to hear. I really want to just get out the conversation as quick as possible for the most part

Side tracked sorry. B. Being that my shit while being pretty easy, is also kinda limited. Like there can fr be someone sitting there boohooing about how they lost all their money in a house fire that killed their whole ass family and blew up all the cars or something and I'd STILL have to ask well is there anyone else I can send the payment to? We can't service you until the payment is authorized. Or possibly even cutting off people if they take too long not to effect my AHT.. I hate that shit. I'm pretty good at just nodding along and taking whatever but I HATEEE that I gotta kinda give af while also not caring enough to fight too hard for them since I can just poof my contract away doing that too much apparently..

Ah shit speaking of above and beyond.. my dumbass prolly just got scammed

🗿🗿🗿

Don't laugh when you read this alr...

LOOK so basically. This woman named noreen came in my dms talking bout some omg bro PLEASE if you got it.. spare like $12 I am STRUGGLING. And I'm sitting there like damn... I only just got this $200 my stepmom/dad owed me annd I just paid off all the small debts I had from this lecture money I end up getting from my mom

The orange section is unrelated but I get "small debts" sounds shady so context

Long story short, was borrowing and putting back thru cash app borrow so I can slowly increase my borrow limit showing ya know like I'm not gon just spend what I don't have and just leave my shit overdue, tho during that period in April-early May I started blowing through any and all money thinking it wouldn't matter. But my shitty spending habits caught up to me when I not only didn't get as much as I was expecting from this one shit, I also balled out depending on said money with the little I had left somehow someway needing to pay off seemingly 1000 things all at once. I got it mostly under control in right after my middle sister's birthday and now it's back to normal.

Basically I told her the last/less dire parts of that and kinda explained I don't really buy too much of anything with it it's just OLD. When another emergency finally came through and forced my hand as far as spending, it finally came to a head where I didnt have enough to borrow so I could pay it off again. She kinda scolded me for letting it carry on for that long and explained the normal stuff. I didn't really let thst lesson sink in tbh. I know I should've but knowing it was moreso my situations putting me there I just kinda.. nodded along and hoped for the best. I didn't think she'd help me tho

Tho... my dumbass. Ack. I really need to get my spending together. I'm a lot better don't get me wrong. I'm not as huge of a fast food person as I was in the past. I'm not as big on balling out on whatever game I happen to like for the month or two I'm hyperfixated on it. I try to stay within my means even knowing damn well I don't really have anything that i urgently need to pay. Not to say I'm completely dependent, I still have a few things I have to keep up with on my end but I know even if I have $0 in my bank acc, I'll have something to eat and somewhere to rest

Whiiich in the past kinda led to me balling just cause. I won't lie.. seeing me blow through my open house money in a year. That switched INSTANTLY. I always thought it was out of never really getting to have anything new so I thought I'd just get everything I wanted and be okay from there. But going through... soooo much money.. yesh. That sure as hell ain't the only reason

Anyway I bring all that up to say Im kinda shocked that even with that, my dumbass still be shelling out money over nothing at times. I don't get why atp.. The woman dmed me and I asked a few things feeling like I could tell she wasn't a bot or anything.

Then I sent like $20 cause I felt bad for interrogating the poor girl in the first place.

Rhen like a day or two later she asked for 10 (£. Pounds are a little more valuable than usd) and I figure well damn. I even gave her some extra the first time. She must be really desperate. So I gave another $15.

But then TODAYYYY she asked for another 10 and that's about when I started to put two and two together. By that point I had already given bout triple the amount she was initially asking for. I get shit being more costly than you thought but like.. bruh. I just gave her another $15 and said that I couldn't give anymore past that. I was pretty polite about it just incase I am just being paranoid.

But yeah.. I'm out $50 cause I tried to help spme random. I don't really regret it. It's not really like I had anything too too much better to do with that. Plus, at thr end of the day, it's $50. It's a lot yeah but its not life changing or anything. I'd rather possibly get scammed out of some petty money like that than being too paranoid and not helping someone I could so easily help. I still feel like an idiot tho lol

Uhh in my addiction news.. I actually unintentionally broke the cycle for a little. I bought these thc disposables to try and give my stomach a break from all the pills. It had already started back burning from it all and my unaliving situation made it really bad. Though it was only for about a week. Then I started mixing em. I've gone back to my once or twice a day habit now. Currently on about 650. There's a small part of me that's starting to care less and less about my problem. It's just been too much. I cant even try to care atp

I'm pretty much never sober. I smoke during training all the time and I almost always take dph during the night. Sometimes, I'll even take both right before my training. It's one of the perks of working online ig lol. I'm gonna try and start scaling it back some since I now gotta stay pretty normal for calls. Once I memorize scripts annd ain't so nervous I'll probably go back go it but for now I kinda cant

Uh yeah but.. that's bout it. I'm finna take a nap. Shits hitting me harder than I expected and I just smoked a before I hopped on here

[tehamelie]

What a weirdly coherent dream. My old friend was back in town and insisted on paying for me to have a professional haircut - which I could do myself but never would. Then we went on having fun for a long, long night. There was movies, videogames, meals, running through the woods, doing extremely low effort parkour. I don’t remember where we were but it was some city neither of us knew a lot about.

And much later we woke up on mattresses on the floor in a hotel room. I stuck some large bills into some kind of breakfast machine that I think was going to make extravagant pancakes. My friend watched this and started to act like he was in pain, squirming in bed like it was physically uncomfortable for him to bring himself to say, “it’s time for me to bring up the certain matter of a certain haircut that I need to be paid for.” (He would do and say that sort of thing.) (20 years back before he moved from town.)

I couldn’t figure out how to politely tell him I never cared about my hair to pay money for it and he never gave me a choice to decline that gift, so instead of making things uncomfortable I just asked how much I owed him. If you’re sensing some warning signals here, imagine my feeling next when he just wandered off with an innocent smirk instead of answering the question.

I stomped after him with some amazingly loud stomps. He was confused by the noise, couldn’t guess it was coming from me - I could hardly believe that either - and he asked if I could hear it, and I went “that’s the sound of me trampling all over your sensibilities”. Then I woke up from being angry, in the middle of formulating the line “you can either tell me what I owe you or shut up about it”.

If you haven’t experienced a particular kind of abuse it might not make any sense, so I’ll explain: He didn’t want me to pay him back, he wanted me to “be in debt” to him. So I’d have to follow him where he wanted to go, do what he wanted to do, maybe pay the bill the next two or five or twenty times he wanted us to eat at a restaurant. My friend would have thought I was too socially inept to see through that manipulation or dare call him on it directly, and maybe thought I was out of spending money and that’d make me embarrassed to talk about it (I wasn’t, and I wasn’t) which is why he didn’t have an answer ready for the obvious question. That’s how I used to act 20 years back when I loaned him $1200 out of my once in a lifetime payout from the disability office (accumulated benefits for the months they spent reviewing my case), you see.

It’s really more my stepbrother who died in 2016′s move - although in my dreams the two are often conflated. My stepbrother once offered to pay half for a SNES NTSC/PAL converter I wanted to play import games. Well, just Final Fantasy 3. It was my console, but he did sometimes buy games for it that he liked and I let him play on the few occasions he wanted, and it was not inconceivable he might want some import games himself. Which of course I would let him use my converter to play just like I let him use my console; but I wasn’t going to turn down $12 if he was offering.

He never bought any import games. There was only one time his partial ownership of the converter ever came up: When he demanded I leave it at home when our mutual friend and I wanted to go over to the friend’s place to play FF3 for reasons I think mostly involved getting away from my stepbrother who I believe felt this extremely intellectually challenging game allowed me and our friend to grow to be better friends with each other than with him. I didn’t figure any of this out at the time, least of all how anyone would manipulate people with debt like that on purpose, but I did get the distinct feeling that now it made sense why he’d want to give me those twelve dollars so badly: because it gave him a new way to be shitty to me. Of course he wanted to refuse to take my money when I tried to pay him back, too. I had to explain to him he was getting free money and free use of the converter if the day should come he had some use for it and put him on the spot by asking what exactly he was getting out of refusing that deal before I was allowed to leave him alone. Relevant to the story is, I was 17, my stepbrother was 13 and our friend 14.

The moral  here is, people who maneuver conversations to where you have only one course to avoid making things awkward are not your friends, and if you do then make things awkward it forces them away from you if they aren’t willing to act friendly and you’ll be better off either way. As Captain Awkward would probably not put it.

[perplexities]

yeahnot to point out what you might already know but they definitly do this stuff on purpose like to cause the exact reaction youre having, banks do it schools do it its about people getting so close and them alarming them so that they crash, its not a cospiracy theory its literally to cause mass suffering bc it keeps ppl down (poor and mentally ill) so id say the reaction youre having is literally The Point and its not your fault (ur parents are wrong for not being comforting and compasionate) check with the school and find a payment program that can spread the cost out or go directly to the program leaders and talk to their faces about it, in person meetings do have an impact and explain the amount of time and money youve already poured into the program. beyond that, go to your student counsler your teachers etc involve as many ppl as you can the more ppl that know the more likely youll have help, beyond that you could always try to take out a loan from a bank evryone says avoid those butliterally like if the alternative is not finishing then,,,,,youre better off in debt than wasting all that time. time is more inportant than money. did they give a specific reason why theyre threatening you at this point?

WELL IT WORKED (they literally caused me to have the worst depressive and anxious episode i have had in months!) but. ya they were threatening me bc my program is basically done by next week and did not want me to complete my placement/internship next month without paying them in full and basically said they won’t let me graduate without a fully paid tuition. so it was “overdue” payments which i was never notified for and NOW it’s being sprung up on me??? like wtf but honestly omg i need u to know that this msg genuinely saved me. i was in such bad shape this morning but i took ur advice sincerely and spoke to my academic financial advisor and my bank who advised me on what to do. so like i was actually able to work out a payment arrangement plan w the director of the school where i can still continue w my program w smaller payments biweekly <333 so thank u SO much fr beloved mutual!

[hxwks-gf]

😩 I wish we were friends irl so I can make you some celebratory cookies for 1k!! You totally deserve it! 🥳

I hope I can do this matchup request correctly 😂.

Bakugou is my comfort character. I think I picked him bc I see myself in him but I'm not as aggressive as he is. I think we both tend to let our feelings come out in a more aggressive type of way. I don't like anyone else to bully my friends other than me as well, so I think that's another thing I we have in common lmao.

My favorite troupe is enemies to lovers (not sure why). It's just something about 2 people developing feelings for each other from butting heads a lot that's just so satisfying.🤌🏽✨ Oh and don't get me started on those relationships where the guy is an ass but has a SOFT SPOT for his boo!! 🥴 And his s.o has to like LEARN how to take care of him/understand him bc he doesn't know how to express himself (me too tho👀).

I'm short asf (5'0" to be exact). I am USUALLY a happy go lucky person and try not to let a lot bother me, but I also hide how I feel a lot. It's a reflex atp 😂. So usually I seem irritable and annoyed to others when they try to help me and I want to fix it myself (aka I know I need help but I don't want it). I love to help others! So ig my role in mha would be to heal people or help if ABSOLUTELY necessary (I'm not coordinated enough to fight fr fr). I've always thought about my quirk being something like a siren/telepathy type of thing. I alter other people's reality and disorient them if needed with my voice depending on my pitch or the melody of the tune.

Hope that's enough! Haha congrats again!

I WILL TAKE VIRTUAL COOKIES MY DARLING, THANK YOU SO MUCH 💞✨❤️🥺

hxwks-gf’s 1k follower event!  *✧･ﾟ:*

“Will you just listen to me for once?” you snapped, trying to step in front of Bakugo. “This is supposed to be a team effort, you know. You can’t solve everything yourself.”

Bakugo scoffed and side-stepped out of the way, turning his nose into the air. “Oh yeah? Watch me.”

You wanted to rip your hair out. “Are you kidding me right now?”

“Are you going to finish this rescue mission or not?”

“I’m trying to finish it, but you’re not working with me!”

Bakugo turned his back to you and continued walking, his footsteps echoing through the ruined building. “Either follow me or go back to the agency. I’m sure they’ll send another incompetent hero that will just whine and complain the whole time.”

“You’re an asshole,” you seethed, but you followed him anyway. “I thought you grew out of that shit after we graduated.”

“Shut up and let me work, will you?”

God, he was insufferable. You had known him most of your life and had accepted a position at his agency not too long ago, hoping he had grown out of his incorrigible attitude, but you were sorely disappointed.

The rumble of falling debris pulled you out of your thoughts, and before you could figure out where it was coming from, Bakugo was turning around with an expression of horror and shoving you out of the way. Senses regained, you quickly tumbled into a roll and safely got to your feet once the debris had stopped falling. 

“Bakugo?” you coughed, waving your hand in front of your face to disperse the dust as it settled. “Bakugo, are you hurt?” 

There was no answer. 

“Bakugo!” you called again, already feeling the panic setting in. “Answer me!” 

A moment later: “God, why do you have to yell so loud?” 

You shoved a piece of rubble out of the way and saw his face peeking out from beneath it, covered in dust and dirt. He blew some of it off of his lips and glared at you. 

“Are you going to help me out of here or not?” he snapped.

You rolled your eyes and gripped his hand, pulling him free in a waterfall of broken concrete and rebar. He dusted himself off and held up one of his gauntlets, dented from the impact. 

“You pushed me out of the way,” you said, staring at him. “You...saved me.” 

“Tch,” he scoffed, inspecting his bruised gauntlet closer and turning away from you. “Don’t go getting ideas.” 

“Bakugo...” You paused and bit your lip. “Thank you.” 

He looked up and scowled, but was unable to hide the blush that had crept into his cheeks. “You’re welcome. Dumbass.” 

“Are you always this insufferable?” 

“Are you?” 

“Are you hurt at all?” you asked, stepping closer to study his head in case he had gotten injured by the falling debris. Without thinking, you reached up and ran your fingers through his hair to get rid of the dust, as well as feel for any wounds. The entire time, Bakugo stayed completely still and just...stared at you. 

“What?” You dropped your hands and stepped back. “What’s that dumb look for?” 

“Nothing,” he muttered, lowering his eyes. “I’m not hurt.” Saying nothing else, he cleared his throat and gestured towards the rest of the building. “Let’s finish this.” 

The rest of the rescue mission went by smoothly, and you found yourself back at the agency in Bakugo’s office watching the city skyline light up as the sun went down. You should’ve been focusing on the rest of the paperwork for the mission, but your mind kept wandering to the way Bakugo acted after you had touched him. Never in your life had you seen him stand so still, so quiet. 

“What are you still doing here?” Speak of the devil. 

You turned around and saw him standing there by the door, dressed in street clothes. “Finishing the reports, because I know you won’t do it.” 

Bakugo rolled his eyes and adjusted his scarf. “It’s late, (y/n). We can take care of it tomorrow.” 

“The HPSC will be up your ass if you miss one of these again.” 

“Goddammit,” he groaned, kicking at the linoleum floor, but he dropped his bag and sat on the edge of your desk, looking down at the stack of paperwork in front of you. “Fine.” 

“Lucky for you, all you need to do is sign them,” you teased, holding out a pen. “I already took care of the rest.” 

Bakugo blinked at you. “All of it?” 

“All of it,” you repeated, wiggling the pen. “Figured I owed you one after you pushed me out of the way earlier. Consider my debt paid.” 

“I wouldn’t have been able to forgive myself if you got hurt on my watch,” he muttered, staring at his feet. He noticed your dumbfounded expression and a furious blush colored his cheeks again. “Don’t get the wrong idea! I was just doing my job.” 

“Right,” you grinned, arching an eyebrow. “Will you just sign the reports, please?” 

He was at a loss for words, but reluctantly took the pen and leaned over the paperwork. You got up from your chair and pulled your coat on as he scrawled his name, picking up your bag and moving towards the door. 

“Oh, you’re walking me home, by the way,” you casually threw over your shoulder. You could feel his eyes burning a hole in the back of your head. “Is that a problem?” 

Bakugo dropped the pen and fought to keep his pace even as he caught up with you and flicked off the light. “No,” he growled, leading you out of the agency and into the chilly night air, not-so-innocently placing his broad hand at the small of your back. 

Maybe he wasn’t that insufferable. 

[riseofthecommonwoodpile]

Warehouse of Prayers by Laura Kasischke

1. 

It’s dark in here. Please, let me out.

2.

No, I hear him say. I want to show you. And to see it, you have to stay.

3.

And, O, I saw it then. So many prayers. Who could answer them all? And yet

what god would have the heart to toss them out?

4.

Yes, he says, I know. It terrifies. The silence, and the din. The tremendous weight of them. It defies

anything you might think or say

about sound about size.

But, yes, of course. Of course I’ve kept them all.

5.

“We had gone for a walk in the dark.

Of all things, I was deeply in love with my husband! Then

something silent I couldn’t see crept out of the darkness, and bit his hand.”

6. 

The beauty of it. The great

beauty. The true beauty of it. The beauty beyond—

It’s 

bitten me. I’m bleeding.

7.

In the dark one night you felt around for your blue scarf. Its blue diffusion. Its shameless would-be sky. But it was gone.

Gone, with your watch, and your wallet, and those cheap beads. How

strange to understand, so suddenly

that none of it was yours. Not

a snippet, not a glimpse, not a bit, not

even the dust that had gathered

Amishly on it for years.

8.

And the green lawn rolls, and the green lawn rolls to the foot of it all, to the foot of it all

telling the story of a world created by a god, who wanted to be loved but did not like to talk.

9.

“We predicted this. Something

strapped to the chest of a child. Light pouring up from holes in the ground. A fountain

run dry, and a mild-mannered man on a rampage in July.

Still, we were confused. We

thought we’d looked for this trouble everywhere, and

never found a thing. We

believed there’d be more warning, despite the many warnings. We

deeply believed a mistake had been made.”

10. 

Then, in the morning, a mannequin sitting in the rain on the neighbor’s porch. The rain on the mannequin, like so many kisses bestowed upon a corpse.

11.

No. (He takes my hand. He opens a door.)

12.

Wow, I say. So this is all—

and this is the vault in which they’ve hoarded it.

All:

What is, what was, what will be—

added to in increments. (A skyful, a pocketful, a teaspoonful, a pinch.)

13.

And still, mostly vault.

14.

The blood and the bed. The basement full of blankets. The 

freezer full of meat. We

all will rise again, and all be dignified.

The vein straight through the center

of the leaf. The woody stem of a rose. The dark suburban fruit of mulberries on the lawn.

We will rise over it all, and all of it will still be here when we are gone.

15.

Hello. It’s me, Eurydice. I want to tell you about his eyes: Stupid

hopeful windows. You

idiot, I said. All this resurrection business just to have your dumb love-glance sideswipe me dead.

16.

Her boy, in the war, the gate, left open, the field full of flowers, the day, so cloudless, she couldn’t help but see the mysterious sense and emptiness of it: As a child, he was so quiet, you could have drawn a circle

around it with a piece of chalk.

You could have taken a bus to the edge of that silence, and stepped off

onto a sidewalk, made of time, and walked

for years and years, all through his childhood and still kept walking.

17.

This is the illegible scroll

on which Orpheus’ reply was written.

This

is the book, thrown from the window.

A cough.

A broken telephone.

A few notes of a song.

18.

And a woman sobbing in a hospital gown, Not fair. Just this one body, and not even the body I wanted, and still it clings to me weeping when I have to leave. Not fair.

19.

“Eurydice? Eurydice? Are you there?”

20.

RSVP: She

will not be arriving by ship of by plane. No car door slamming. No

driver to be paid. She will not be walking. Neither shall she run. Thank you for asking, but she can’t come.

21.

Please, please, please, sweetheart,

pick up the fucking phone if you’re there

22.

“The Czar was killed on the spot, as

were the Empress and the Grand Duchess Olga, neither of whom could finish making the sign of the cross.

But the daughters

wore corsets

lined with jewels. For long moments the bullets, fired at their chests,

ricocheted around the room.”

23.

Please?

24.

One day I saw the divorcée take a letter from her ex-husband.           Briefly, his fingertips touched hers, and then she slipped the letter into her purse:

But, O, that purse, full of old pleasure, and that letter. Memory, like a dark hole full of feathers.

25.

“Lust, that goat in violets. Those violets like so much tenderness

scattered in the grass. Love,

that rusty chain dragging you home through your past.”

26.

A woman turns at church in her pew and tell me before the organ starts up, “I know a story about your house.”

27.

Oh? Yes?

28.

“In the forties, a farmer named Elmer Barow, in your kitchen, shot himself.”

29.

Oh, I thought, I know. I know. Time,

passing, all along— the hum of the cobwebs in the corners crocheting their intricate shrouds. The

dripping of the faucet. The blackened toast. Of

course, when we sat down at the table with our heads bowed, that

was him listening in on our prayers— Elmer

Barow with a rifle in his mouth.

30.

Always that

flash of desire, always

in the way (that

gray cat sleeping in the driveway, those

teenage girls bathing in a pond of bees)— that’s

what’s left of the freedom God had to make us, or remain free.

31.

Eurydice?

32.

In winter a woman I work with gets the idea that her hands are poisoned. She can’t touch anything anymore. She wears

gloves to bed, in case, in her sleep—

33.

No, E., of course, your hands aren’t poisoned. You cannot kill your children if you stroke their hair. You

know this, you know it.

34.

But, suddenly, gradually, myself—

everything I touch, there’s—

35.

There’s something wrong. (Not that. But something.) I

spend hours trying not to think about the something, but it’s

always there

in the shadowy tissue, in the silvery microscopic gloom, the lazy fluid slip of it, which,

released by love, billows loosely around the cerebral cortex—

a poisoned flume.

36.

Then—?

37.

“And then the day is over, and the—”

38.

And the day is over.

And in the dark I hear God say,

Laura, go ahead and pray.

39.

Okay.

40.

Okay. I— Okay. I—

Dear God, I—

offer up this prayer of dryer lint and hair.

41.

Orpheus here in a cellar made of glass. In it, with me, a blizzard of small black words. I

am sending this message to you from the world, but “This is a message from the world” is all it says.

42.

“Oh, to the teeth, sweetness is the medium, but the message is decay. Like

the soul, a hunch, wrapped in disintegration. Sweater

wool, skin cells, carpet fibers, ash, a gray

breeze: Virus,

and pollen, and ourselves

blown to breathing pieces.”

43.

And then at the petting zoo I knew

animal terror for the first time. Animal

despair: The trembling of the lamb under my trembling hand.

44.

Suddenly, God answers me!

I am made of the same thing you are, after all, and you

are made of me:

Some darkness, a supplication, a moral silence breezing

over the glassy stubble in a vacant field.

45.

“And let us not forget the petty prayers. The insatiable hunger of seagulls. The sunset

in the blood, and those

birds turning

in on themselves. Crying, reeling, happiest hungry. Let us be

you amphetamines! they scream. The market

full of fruit out of season. The locked

door of the embassy. The high

gate surrounding spring:

Please, God, I want all of it for me.”

46.

To: Orpheus Fr: Eurydice Re: Death

The babble. The cold, teeming, intangible hotel.

47.

God, do your hear that? That

bit of stitching in the wind? It unravels when you listen. Listen.

48.

The Debt Birds screeching, Insufficient! Someone shoveling snow onto a fire. A figure in a black suit swinging a lantern through the dark

in arcs, coming closer, and closer.

And my mother standing by the lilac

(the lilac, which is the suburb’s lyric poem

about death) talking

to a man she never met. I

overhear him say, Whatever

crazy sorrow saith.

49. 

“No one was crying, no one was bleeding, but the mail had been dumped in the street, and

someone’s husband a few blocks over was shouting loudly about accountability.

Shadows stuffed into envelopes— as when the forest creeps to the edge of the freeway, perfectly tamed, finally revealed,

and the wild illegal animals people keep as pets,

escape, are seen.”

50.

Jesus Christ, this stuff is everywhere!

51.

Excuse me.

I couldn’t help but overhear your prayer...

52.

“What the bloody hell is this? Someone must have written down every word ever said, then

shredded every word ever written.”

53. 

O, honey, O, lovely, O, please. It’s me,

Orpheaus, again, Eurydice.

54.

“Okay, now what we need here is a warehouse, or an abyss. Which one of you guys can get on this—

ASAP?”

55.

Like

trying to hold fire. Like

trying to hold perfume. Like

wearing fog to work. Like

stoppering a bottleful of light—

trying to talk to God.

56.

“Hello. Yeah. It’s me. Is he in? We’ve got a major mess on our           hands.”

57.

“Shit. Shit. Is he ever in?”

58.

Like stoppering a bottleful of light. Like wearing fog to work. Like trying to hold perfume. Like

trying to hold fire—

to make the simplest goddamned contact with—

59.

O, wait, look after all— that

warehouse, that

abyss, and

a beautiful naked stranger diligently trying

to ladle the oceans into it.

[myinnerthoughts53]

pay rise for the working class

while the cost of living keeps rising, our wages... dont budge at all, sure we get some sort of increases  around tax time and its maybe about $0.50 per hour.. which is better than  nothing, but while we work out butts off looking after the company. looking after consumers & what they want & what they need & making sure that all runs smoothly in which ever area of occupation you reside in .... we get not a lot in return, my team & my co workers got a $25 gift voucher for Christmas but to spend at the company we work for so essentially . the company gave us $25 then got it back; but in exchange for food & personal products... which is fine, a nice gesture. but help me live on a weekly basis not just when the season is right, help me pay the bills that my wage doesn’t cover. casuals get more money, I’m  part time so okay my job is mostly secure i get sick pay & annual leave, casuals have to deal with not knowing when their next shift is coming, they have to deal with no annual leave, no pay if they get sick, which sucks! I've been there, but as a part timer, my wage went down to cover the sick leave, the annual leave, but what if i got paid the same as a casual.?  just a few $$dollars$$ extra as well as annual leave, or sick leave, now i went part time because i had been with the company for 2 years & 3 months now ive been part time for a year and I’ve done a couple of extra shifts over the year, but i feel like if i do any extra shift i got from having $450 for my contracted 20 hours of work to $520 for 1 extra day. not a lot extra when you take into account that I’m a women with private health insurance & that s#@t Is Not cheap...& they are raising the premium by $10! not much right?! ... well lets break it down...  $450 for weekly expenses: think about how much you spend on groceries fruit, veg, meat, personal hygiene$ pet food,   bread, and basic dinner ingredients  .... then add in a bill.. lets say water = $205 now lets add in fuel to get to work =$50 lets add on a phone bill =$70 opps its the week your car insurance is due $60 (mines not to expensive) oh shit your Netflix payment is due $15 ... ish  oops now your in the red and you still have to pay your after pay or zip pay bill  oh and its someones birthday in a week  “sorry cant come i have my car registration due and my health insurance but have a great night and when im not choking in debt well do brunch” oh you want pizza or Thai or sushi for dinner because you dont feel like cooking ... mmm not its cereal for dinner or you cook what you have. how is anyone meant to save money towards anything nice... screw having kids because where is the money fr anything for them? now i get a lot of people are in nice cushy jobs where they earn $800 a week.... that would be amazing!!! but i dont have one of those jobs and trust me i have applied for many jobs where the pay is better but other people are more qualified or better suited to the roll. i never went to uni or anything because i never knew what i wanted to do so yes my life right now is suffering... i have asked for extra house and spoke to bosses about a promotion because i am a senior in my area of work, i have been there over 3 years... ye there are other who have been there longer but only very few, the rest are all school kids that can only work after school.  so please ... companies... cover your workers, help them out, im sure you have struggled to at some point before you got your high paying job, before you got a desk with a name plate or before you pulled the stings  there some of us behind the check out stressing about putting food on the table or stressing about where the money to pay that bill is coming from because its a final notice. 

[punkscowardschampions]

Ali & Carly

Ali: How do you like your  🥚🍳 in the morning? Carly: no 🐣 Carly: ha Ali: 🐔 didn't show up in your roost later, did he? Carly: he must be scared of you Carly: 🔮 Ali: or my 🐺 Carly: maybe Ali: eggs aside, how you feeling, chick? Carly: 😷🤒🤕🤢🤮 Ali: 👎👎👎👎👎 Ali: unacceptable! Ali: what do you need, kill or cure? Carly: cure forever Carly: im too young to die Ali: I'll swing by with my witches brew Ali: actually doesn't taste like ☠ either Ali: pure 😇 Carly: aw Carly: really? Ali: 'course, not gonna half-arse the job Ali: and it makes a full pot, no sense in not sharing the 💚 Carly: 💙 Carly: wat does it taste like? Ali: like Christmas 🎄🎅🤶🎁❄️🌨️☃️✨🌟 Carly: 😋😊🥰 Ali: it's got ginger and peppermint in Ali: the only other person hanging out their arse is my brother and he would rather die 'cos he's grumpy 👴 man energy so Carly: no 🦃 tho yea?! ha Carly: oh no he sounds like my da Carly: which cute bro is it? Ali: definitely not 😂 Ali: some greens but not sprouts Ali: the freckly one Carly: did u heal my heart to 💔😢? Carly: course itd be the most beautiful one Ali: oh no, you're delirious Ali: I'll come quick 😜 Carly: dont b jealous 👼 hes only the most beautiful boy Ali: 😏 My ma'll be gutted Carly: do u have a tea for that? Ali: 🍋 'cos she's so bitter? Ali: I'll see if she goes for it Carly: noooo 🍯 so she wont be Ali: you're too sweet yourself, Walsh Carly: aw Carly: but ur the 1 who saved me Carly: ur the sweetest Ali: anyone would Carly: nah ur the 1st Carly: not just saying it to u get ur fairy wings Ali: had to fly away from that particular 🐔 plenty myself Ali: harmless and flightless though he is, most the time Carly: yea Carly: he talks about u wen hes been on it Carly: the 1 that flew away Ali: uh oh Ali: can't let a boy ✂ your wings Ali: ever Ali: ever Ali: 👼🏽 🐔 🐧 🐦 🐤 🐣 🐥 🦆 🦢 🦅 🦉 🦚 🦜 🦇 🐝 🦋 🐞 🦗 🦟 🐓 🦃 🕊 Carly: im 😕💫🙃 but idk if those were the guests i danced with Carly: did get a cute lil 🎶🎤 to fall asleep to tho 💙🕊 Carly: 🌚🌝🌛🌜🌞 Ali: very 👸 of you though Ali: I can 👀 it Carly: my ma is trying to make me clean Carly: 🐇🐁🐀🐿🦔🐾 pls Ali: also unacceptable Ali: not 'til you're better Ali: use my wings to fly through and 🤞 he don't get the wrong idea about who I'm there to see Carly: [sends her a pic of whatever caravan mess she caused last night that her mum is raging about] Carly: so u can play a game of spot whats got her 😠 Carly: cuz idk Ali: Fun 🧐🤔🤨 Ali: angry mothers are my forte Ali: [does the circling the hazzards moment on the pic] Carly: making her angry is mine but nah to knowing y ever ever Carly: k ur cute & smart Carly: 🌟 Ali: it's rarely logical, but 🤫 on that or it's hulk levels in 0-60 Ali: how are you this nice when you're 😷🤒🤕🤢🤮 Ali: that's a skill, rare one at that 💎✨ Carly: my da is looking green must of had his own 🎶🍻💃 ha Carly: idk i can b nicer? but k now i know ronan aint been talking bout me when hes 🍺 or 💊 Ali: can be a tea party for three Ali: have to bring his own 🎩 though Ali: not to me anyway Ali: but as you can tell Ali: 🐺 keeps all the 🐓🐓🐓 away Carly: 🐇🐇🐇♠️♣️♥️♦️🐇🐇🐇 Carly: she is fierce Ali: she likes to think so Ali: 🐶 really Carly: course ur not scared of her silly Carly: u love her Carly: im a 🐈 person ha Ali: [sends her a load of pictures of Bluebeard she didn't ask for rather than being like do I love her hmm] Carly: AW!!!! Carly: 🥰🤗 Ali: he's captain ☠🏴 but there's always room aboard Carly: thats the best offer ive had from a gentleman ever ever ever Carly: whats his name? Ali: Bluebeard Ali: and he is MOSTLY a gentleman if you can handle some toe nibbling Carly: 😍😍😍😍 Carly: into it Carly: ive done more for lads i just met who aint as beautiful so Ali: 😂 I feel that Ali: honestly, it's quite comforting, when he doesn't sneak attack you with it Carly: [sends her a selfie that shouldn't be as adorable as it is] Carly: now u can introduce us Carly: 👋 baby blue Ali: the 😍😍😍😍 are mutual Ali: I can tell Carly: yay Carly: 🧡 Ali: is there anything else you need/we want for the tea party? Ali: en-route at last Carly: ur really coming? Ali: yeah, sorry I was ages, it's a whole process brewing it Ali: also a dead giveaway you're 😷🤒🤕🤢🤮 which obvs my ma takes as her cue to be all Spanish inquisition about it Ali: 📚 of my mostly-fictional-but-which-are-and-which-aren't-mother exploits later Carly: sorry iou so much magic Ali: nah, don't worry about it 👸 Ali: who doesn't love a little scandal with their morning brew? she deffo does Carly: its too late im looking for 🍀 Carly: among the 🌼🌼🌼 Ali: awh Ali: I'm never turning down extra luck Ali: we can make daisy-chains Carly: its the dresscode Carly: soz da Ali: does he have a 🧔? Ali: that's a #look Carly: not rn Carly: my ma wasnt on @ me only to clean up Carly: he had his turn Ali: damn it Ali: maybe a nice belt Ali: I'll be 🤔 Carly: dont b 💔😢 he has bushy eyebrows Ali: same Ali: he's earnt his invite back Ali: your ma gonna have to chill though Ali: and it ain't that kinda tea 💔 Carly: you wont b able to tell if shes angry or surprised Ali: 😚 ⬅ I know the vibe Ali: you do you babe Carly: she used to let me sort em out but there was an accident Carly: which im sworn to secrecy about Ali: I'm so good with secrets 🙏🙏🙏 Carly: k Carly: my head zoned out but my hands kept going like Ali: you were meditating you can't help having  🌌🧠 Ali: I'll 🤭 now and never tell, don't worry Mrs W Carly: @ school yea im meditating on your q sir relax Carly: ha love that Ali: they just ask questions to answer it themselves, what is the point Carly: u coming for my ma again? Ali: 🤫 bad first impression, that Carly: shes heard it from ronan too sorry Carly: lad has loose lips Ali: honestly Ali: 🙄 can't keep up with my bad reputation Carly: ud think hed be better at kissing Carly: its talk talk talk Carly: more good things about u than ive made it seem like tho Ali: he was a big talker Ali: probably 'cos he ain't allowed with the lads Carly: if he talked about what a 👼 u are & how 💔😢 he is theyd uninvite him from the bonfire Carly: its sweet really how hung up hes got Ali: he only thinks I'm an 👼 'cos he took my virginity probs Ali: that's more suitable 🔥side chat Carly: he goes on about that alot but I thought he was lying Carly: oh no that sounds bad Carly: not calling u a slag ur obvs not its y he likes u more Ali: 😂 I'm fine with slag Ali: all definition dependent anyway Carly: yea same Carly: can be hot if ur in the mood Ali: right, and if I'm a slag 'cos I didn't marry him then I'll take it Carly: & hes not allowed to marry gorgers theyd wanna throw him in the 🔥 Ali: exactly Ali: we can't both be 💔😢 forever can we boy Carly: just me @ the party til u came to my rescue Ali: 🥺 Ali: What was he even on about then, like? Ali: dickhead Carly: idk i zone out wen he shouts @ me too Ali: I can always poison a cup and send it his way Ali: just say the word Carly: hes not that bad Ali: okay okay, just some laxatives Ali: 'cos he's a bit 💩 Carly: ha Ali: no 🌼🌼🌼 unless he says soz then Carly: but his beautiful curls 🥺 Ali: hmm, a good point Ali: be strong, baby Carly: ill throw one @ him & run away Carly: back to u Ali: you're so adorable Carly: says u Carly: 👼👸🏼 Ali: 💚 we're gonna have an adventure when the tea hits okay Ali: I've decided Carly: k thats the kinda 🎄🎅🤶🎁 it is Carly: i do want the energy of a kid on xmas morning Ali: that's the best Ali: how I'm tryna be every day Carly: 💫⭐️🌟✨⚡️☄️ 🚀🛸 Ali: if only 🚀 Ali: this bike can only go as fast as my lil legs can carry, like Carly: aw baby Carly: i shouldve asked u where u live before this 2nd rescue was launched Carly: im sorry Ali: No distance is too far for a fair maiden Carly: ill have to see what other 🔮 i can find before u get here Carly: dont love ious Ali: there's no ious Carly: [sending her loads of pics of her with or just pics of the cat lady's cats that she's rounding up for this tea party and they're adorable] Ali: 😍💞😻 Ali: okay, non-debt fully paid though Carly: [just rambling about the names she's given each cat cos her and cat lady don't know each other properly til Ali comes along and like facts about each cat/her fave things cos she's a big nerd] Ali: I love them Ali: I'm gonna get them some 🐟🐟🐟 when I get tea party tings Ali: some cream, awh, okay, this is happening Carly: im picking enough 🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼 for everyone Ali: should've put Bluebs in my basket Ali: next time Carly: aw Carly: Humbug might try & fight him Carly: youd b there to protect him tho Ali: I can ref Ali: my little brother is always trying to play-fight everyone so I'm well-versed Carly: is he ticklish? that works for me Carly: broken up lots of fights Ali: big time Ali: his kryptonite Ali: reckon it's against the rules in professional fights but preparing him for anything like any good big sister Carly: ha Carly: aw i bet ur an amazing sister Carly: if i had 1 maybe id wanna be on site sometimes Carly: my ma's eyebrows r hardly a call to home Ali: he might disagree but he's 5 so what does he know 😉 Ali: feel that though Ali: home is just a base, whole 🌍 out there Carly: wen ur 5 you argue to argue Carly: yea if u dont use ur wings theyll think u dont want em 💔😢 Ali: flying is like riding a 🚲 though Carly: r we goin on a 🚲 adventure? Ali: definitely Ali: ugh, need one of those wagons for the 😻😻😻s Carly: ☺️its gonna b so fun! Carly: we might meet more 🐈🐈🐈🐈 Ali: way better than 🐔 Carly: ha Carly: do u have 🔮 left to help me find shoes? Ali: have you checked the fridge? Carly: [a pause while she do] Carly: theyre not there 😕🧐 Ali: damn, that'd be the last place I'd look though Ali: were they in the mess your Ma was sounding off about fr Carly: o mayb Carly: if i was wearing any when you dropped me off Ali: 🤔 I don't know if I recall any glass slippers Ali: I'll ask Lene hold up Carly: 👸 energy Carly: but idk if i wanna scary 🐺 at my door Ali: turns out she's actually your 👵 Carly: ha my grandma is 💍 to god Carly: its not close to the energy shes putting out Ali: she'd probably tell your actual that God is a gay girl Ali: nah she's well 😇 around fam, just hide behind your Ma and me, baby, you'll be fine Carly: ha that wasn't in any of the kids bible stories she sent me every 🎄🎅🤶🎁 Carly: her god is 😠 than Humbug Carly: he likes to shout so i gotta zone out Carly: aw that's sweet ur ma loves her too? Ali: Hooray for Catholicism, yeah? 😏 Ali: she loves my Ma, more like Carly: we spend our sundays on our knees nana but its 🚽🤮 or u kno a bigger sin Carly: u do look like her i remember Ali: that's not QUITE 🚽🤮 levels but close 😂 Carly: nah its nice u have the same 👀💙✨ Carly: idk who i look like Carly: postman maybe Ali: now I don't know whether to 😳 or be 🤨 you like my Ma too Ali: you look like you and that's Ali: 💛 😍 😘 🥰 😚 👸 👼🏽 🐰 🌼 🌻 🌞 🍓 🍑 🍨 🍰 🍭 🍬 🎆 💜 Carly: yea 🤞🙏🌠 the postman isnt my da cuz hes a ride Carly: aw now youve got me 😳 Ali: rude, my postman is not Carly: 🚫💌 then baby Carly: ill text u instead Ali: so grumpy, don't stick your hand right into our house if you don't wanna get bitten, sir Ali: not by me, whatever Ronan has said Ali: though I'm well flattered I'm getting a text back Carly: ha its k its not that u use too much teeth Carly: & course ur my hero Carly: tho 🤞🙏🌠 wont b an sos every time Ali: good, can't have him putting you off with blatant lies Ali: it won't be if I do a better job at the heroics and get there before any bad shit can happen Carly: its k i like it Carly: helps me remember what i did Carly: 💔😢 no lads r spelling their names out in bruises for the who Carly: 🐇🐾🐇🐾🐇 Carly: nooo theres no better u could do Carly: ur flying to me faster than anyone has ever ever Ali: amateurs, like Ali: so rude, ain't they heard you're 👸 Ali: I'm basically there now, prepare for the best tea party you've ever been to Carly: aint wat theyve heard but idc Carly: yay 💙 i havent had 1 since me & my 🧸🧸🧸 Ali: I'll be 🎶🔊 it so get in the know lads Ali: awh, can I meet them too? Carly: not too 🔊 or ur gf will bite me which could b fun but im not trying to do u like 💔😢 Carly: some r shyer than others but if u work ur 🔮 how u did for me ull make friends Ali: fill your boots, babe, I don't reckon she's your type, like Ali: I'll be on my best behaviour 🤞 Ali: the loveliest guest you've ever had 🤞🤞 Carly: be fun though Carly: not boring Ali: 😲😲 Ali: Is that the impression I give off? Ali: or another Ronan tale, either way Ali: gonna have to prove otherwise now in the most extra ways imaginable Carly: nahhh Carly: he don't lie to me its his 1 saving grace Carly: its just like a pls Carly: to u & the universe Ali: I won't be boring Ali: trust me Carly: k Carly: i do ur a lifesaver Ali: nah Ali: just happy to help Carly: im happy we r mates Ali: me too Ali: idk why we weren't before, like Ali: too many people at school Carly: & i dont go much ha Ali: this is true Ali: lesser spotted walsh 🐦 Carly: oooh wat colours am i Ali: 💗💜💛🧡💗 Carly: cute Ali: very Carly: wats ur fave colour? Ali: It's a harder question than people reckon, that Ali: like, there's so many beautiful things of every colour Ali: if I can decide for the day, I feel like I'm doing a disservice to all the others Carly: sorry Carly: i havent decided on mine either Carly: when i was a lil kid it was 💛 for the 🌞 then wen i started goin out it was silver for wat i thought the 🌚 looked like Carly: but ive seen so many new colours since Ali: kids always know Ali: they're much smarter than adults about everything Carly: i bet ur lil bro is the smartest Carly: like u Ali: he likes red for 🚨❌🛑⛔️🚫💯‼️🥊🥤 Ali: and I see the appeal Carly: does he like 🍎? i kno somewhere that sells the reddest shiniest 1s Carly: or we cud just throw 🍅s Ali: he's at the anti-fruit stage Ali: but I reckon he could be convinced if we let him smother 'em in caramel and sprinkles Carly: its a date Ali: Me first