#i aborted so many Complains over the course of last week on the grounds of not being able to think

[hag-o-hags]

last weekend I went way too hard, and by Sunday night I was running on completely empty. not even partying hard, just. Ikea and redecorating and blah blah blah blah blah, in our mid-30s we ball.

all this week I've been OUT, batteries dead, zero energy, can't brain for shit, plus Mon/Tues/Wed I have a sore throat, so I'm hitting it with alka-seltzer the first couple days, till it starts to feel better and I'm just drinking SO much tea.

Wednesday the Dizzy starts. By Thursday, I can't sit up without everything spinning, and through Sunday, I have to be flat on my back. Getting up to feed the creachurs is exhausting, disorienting, and generally miserable, let alone feeding myself. Dramamine does nothing. Also, super bonus, my body fucking hurts because I can't move!

Surprise, this is exactly what getting over La Rona felt like, except I don't have La Rona.

Since November I've been sort of operating on yes, this is still LongTallShortFatCovid in the absence of enough data to officially diagnose it, so let's just behave like it's ME/CFS and see what happens. So, supine on the sofa on Sunday, I'm trying to figure out if Gentle Stretches™ are a good or bad idea with post-exertional malaise (the hallmark ME/CFS symptom that I am pretending I know I have for reasons of science). Because, again, I am stiff and sore and I fucking ache.

I know that unfortunately there's a LOT of anecdata and not much hard review around symptom relief, but I also know there's quite a lot of people trying to figure out what works. One person's dribbly candles and magic circles and stuffed crocodile hanging from the ceiling and 13 other chronically ill people chanting the universe's esoteric and black history leads to another person's 4 cc of mouse blood and three small sticks.

I found a blog with a good enough balance of science vs multiple personal experiences that it felt worth digging into -- also Gentle Stretches™ probably not gonna make PEM worse, thank god, sitting yoga ahoy. Some people found NSAIDs or steroids helped them to recover, but the really interesting one to me was a couple very very very small studies about Dextromethorphan Hbr, an OTC cough suppressant.

That tinged a tiny little ding in my foggy jelly brain, and I rooted around like a drunk opossum until I found the alka-seltzer box in the recycling. (Coulda looked this up online. But again, jelly brain.) The cough suppressant is DXM Hbr. And it's got aspirin. I'd been taking a little ibuprofen all week because Ache, so it wasn't necessarily the NSAID. But when I phased out the cough suppressant, that's when the dizzy started.

It's just a correlation, I've got n=1 here. I know that. But I took a standard dose of OTC cough syrup (DXM Hbr and guaifenesin -- no NSAIDs), and in a couple hours I could get up, and walk around the yard and water the plants, despite being kinda dizzy. I started some laundry. I kept taking it just according to the directions yesterday, and today, for the first time in an ENTIRE WEEK, I can think enough to write, I can go upstairs without needing to sit after, and I'm a little lightheaded but I'm not stumbling.

Placebo is a thing of course, but also, Dramamine couldn't touch this, even though it helped last time. Day by day it was getting worse, not better, and I was laying on the couch because I'd finally managed to finish a shower but I couldn't be upright any more afterward.

(All shower euphoria is erased when I gotta sit flopped on the ground towing the faucet hose around my head and trying not to blast my eyeballs out.)

I have an appointment with my doctor on Wednesday. I'm really lucky -- she's been great thus far, and takes me seriously when I say wacky things like I HAVE AN HYPOTHESIS REGARDING THESE SYMPTOMS, CAN WE LOOK INTO THEM. ("Yes and also would you like a referral to get spayed").

That being said, Saturday morning, I cried and cried, feeling like I had to hold onto the sofa to not fall off, because I'm scared and frustrated and angry and grieving. Grief is probably the worst because right now I don't know what I've lost. If I've lost anything. If this is real, if it's going to pass, if I'm panicking ... or if this is my life. Other disabilities have taken things from me -- doors that get closed and then bricked over. This feels like I could get shut in one room forever, like. Yes you, the Stress Powered Engine, who lives for pushing eustress as close to distress as you possibly can for fun and profit! Doing that will now hit you like a semi at highways speeds!

Or, I could recover. I don't have the data to know.

[benex78]

Forgive our Sins

5 years after the events of Immortality, Sara and Grissom are living back in Las Vegas when a ghost from their past reappears in their life forcing them to face some old decisions. GSR of course! Enjoy it! I hope you like it and please review it! (Sorry if there are mistakes but I'm not a native English speaker and a special thanks to my friend LuLu for reading it)

PART 1 They went through a lot together during their 16 years long relationship. She left him and the sin city, he went to Costa Rica for her, they got married, they got divorced, she went to San Diego and sailed with him. They hurt each other more than once, but their love never stopped. In the end, they gave up their carriers to stay together, got married again and now they were finally living happily together. Grissom and Sara are back in Vegas, living in a small house in the university district. While Sara works as a consultant for the crime lab, Gil is a part-time professor of entomology who tends to stick his nose in his wife’s forensic cases. 14 years have passed since the miniature killer events and Natalie Davis is still in prison. In her cell she keeps a collection of miniatures and she is now working on a new one. She interrupts her work on the miniature to write a letter. It’s a difficult one: she had tried to write this letter so many times without success, in fact there are a few ripped sheets of paper on the floor. This time is different, she manages to use the rights words and, once done, she sends the envelope to the Las Vegas Crime Lab. It’s addressed to Sara Sidle. What does she want from Sara? Does she want to make amends? Does she want to go after her again? PART 2 A car is parked outside Sara and Grissom's house and the driver is observing Sara. One day on her way to work, Sara notices him and tries to run away, but suddenly she’s caught in an incident. She is brought to the hospital where a frightened Grissom arrives. Fortunately, Sara is fine, she only has some bruises and she is soon allowed to leave the hospital to go home with her husband. Sara tells Grissom what happened and now they fear someone is chasing them. Thanks to the street CCTVs the police finds and arrests the stalker, however the man has nothing to do with the accident. Thus, he is released, but not after securing a conversation with Sara Sidle. He is a private detective and he needs to talk to Sara because his client, a woman named Kelly Ross, wants to meet her. Sara asks the detective the reason for this meeting and he responds that Mrs. Ross instructed him to reveal only in which part of Vegas she lives and, most importantly, that they have someone in common. Sara is caught off guard as she doesn’t know what to expect from this. However, she can’t help but feel curious. PART 3 On their day off Grissom drives Sara to Mrs. Ross, but he waits outside in the car. He is worried but he respects Sara’s decision to go in alone. When opening the door, Mrs. Ross welcomes Sara with a warm hug then she lets her in. Gil Grissom observes the whole scene speechless. When Sara comes back couple of hours later, she is in shock and immediately askes Grissom to take her home. He wants to know about the meeting, yet Sara begs him to give her some time to put her thoughts together. That evening in their kitchen Sara tells him a story she kept for herself for far too long. FLASHBACK:13 YEARS EARLIER The miniature killer had changed everything: the team had found about her relationship with Grissom, she had to join swing and above all she felt something inside her had broken and no one, not even Griss, could do anything to help her. She was so depressed that she decided to leave Vegas and the love of her life. She was in L.A. visiting her mom when she started to feel unwell. It took her a few days to even conceive the idea that she could be pregnant. She went to the nearest drugstore and paid for a test that she took directly in the customers toilet. She waited in there for almost an hour with the result in her hands: POSITIVE! How could it be? She didn’t want a child and Grissom neither. They talked about this at the beginning of their story and even more recently when he proposed. They (she and Griss) were the only family they wanted. How could she tell Grissom something like that? At least by phone she could avoid looking into his eyes and see his disappointment. She went back to her motel room and waited for the morning to come. She didn’t sleep all night, she kept looking at the clock on the wall. When she was sure Grissom could be home from work, she called him. He picked up almost immediately. She heard him giggling at the other side of the phone, but his joy faded at the news. Sara was so depressed; their relationship was stalling and surely, he wasn’t ready to be a father. Thus, they both agreed to end the pregnancy. Grissom offered to come to L.A. to be close to her, but Sara declined. She wanted to do it alone and he didn’t complain. She had just booked an appointment at a private clinic, when her mother got sick, so she had to postpone the whole thing. When she finally got there 3 weeks later, it was too late to proceed with the abortion. She had no another choice but to contact the social services to find a family for her unborn child.  She never told Gilbert she carried their baby and that he was put up for adoption. To him, this was a dead story. Just 10 days before Warwick’s murder she delivered a healthy baby boy who she held only briefly in her arms before giving him away. When she came back to Vegas, Grissom was so devastated he didn’t even notice her body didn’t have the usual silhouette and she kept the secret for herself. Until now. Sara’s confession is very painful, she fears Gilbert’s reaction. She fears he will hate her and never forgive her for taking his son away. However, Grissom isn’t angry. He seems quite relieved instead. Grissom reaches his hand out across the table and places it on top of Sara’s, giving it a gentle squeeze: - I don’t begrudge you honey. In the end, you did what we had decided. At the time we didn’t want a kid and you didn’t keep it. Honestly, I’m quite happy it went this way. – Sara raises her head: - Really? – Grissom admits: - Yeah, because now, 13 years later, we are talking about someone we created, someone who has our genes and who probably is still alive. Even if he is somewhere, we don’t know where and who raised him – Sara reveals: - Gil, his name is Dylan, he is here in Vegas and Mrs. Ross is his adoptive mother – Grissom is astonished: - What? He’s in Vegas right now? Did you see him? – Sara shakes her head: - No, he was at school - Grissom: - How did Mrs. Ross find you? – Sara: - I can’t explain it, but since I had decided for an open adoption, she must have assumed a detective to find me. - Grissom: - But why now? – Sara: - Because she wants to give us a second chance – Grissom: - Sorry I don’t get it – Sara: - She is dying, she has terminal cancer and her husband has died of Covid last year. She fears that once she’s dead her boy will end up living in an institute until his 18th birthday. -   Grissom’s heart starts beating fast, he can’t bear it any more. Maybe it’s his age but he wants to be a father now. However, he knows everything it’s up to his Sara: - Can we…? What do you want to do? - Sara: - Honestly… I don’t know – Grissom: - Sara, we are his parents! – Sara’s answer is firm: - No, we lost that right a long time ago Gil! – Grissom corrects himself: - You are right, but we have to do something. Don’t you want to get to know him? To see who he looks like? – Sara:  - Of course I want to, but I am also terrified. I abandoned him. For all I know he could hate me. – Gil replies: - He could love you. -   Sara gives Grissom a sad smile. Grissom tries to lift her spirit: - He could be a geek like us - Sara announces: - Gil, he is a special boy, he is not like the other kids – Grissom asks: -What do you mean? – Sara: - Mrs. Ross told me Dylan can’t hear, he has a genetic disease that made him almost deaf 5 years ago. Grissom is hurt, he can’t find the words to express his feelings. Sara notices his reaction and she gently touches his leg. Sara: - Are you ok? – Grissom nods: - I just don’t know how to feel about this: happy because I have something in common with my son or sad that I passed this pain to him It's all my...  – Sara raises Gilbert’s chin, she cuts him off this time, shaking her head: "No, it's not. and it's not right to put the blame all on you. We both made stupid decisions in our relationship that lead us to where we are now." She takes a breath and speaks again more softly. "Now, I just want to put all of that behind us and start over..." Grissom clears his throat and asks in a more serious tone: - So... what do you think? –   Sara takes both his hands in her and smiled a little: - I think we are going to speak with Kelly Ross and arrange a meeting with Dylan. Ok? – Grissom nods satisfied. Sara: - Let’s see what happens but we have to keep our hopes grounded – Grissom: - Ok… Come here – and takes Sara in his arms: - I love you, no matter what! – Sara leans towards him. She looks him in his eyes and responds with a tender kiss on his lips whispering against them "I love you too”.

PART 4 Sara spends the week working and thinking, thinking and working. Tension and expectations building up every day, more and more. In her mind Sara has imagined their meeting with Dylan at least 300 times, she has repeated all the possible things she could say to him, but every time his reaction is bad and the meeting goes wrong. Even Grissom is anxious; nonetheless he tries to distract Sara: he invites her to see one of his lessons at the university, he proposes a trip on a boat over the lake Mead and he takes her out to dinner. The Italian restaurant they go to is one of their favorites. They eat a very good lasagna and they drink a little more than they usually do, just to relax. Once at home, they go to bed. They face each other but, thinking of the day ahead, they can’t sleep. Grissom: - It’s gonna be fine – Sara: - You can’t know that – Gil caresses her hair: - No, but we have to stay positive – Sara takes Gil’s hand and brings it to her cheek: - I don’t know what to tell him – Gil’s finger brushes her lips: - The truth! If he asks, we’ll tell him the truth - Sara: - But? – Grissom: - Honey, if we want his trust, we have to be honest. We can’t lie. - Sara: - I am scared! -   Grissom: - Me too – and he slowly kisses her. She returns the kiss as they are taken by the passion of their bodies, entangled in one. Their minds are lost in the rhythm of that primordial act of desire, they know so well. They are just flesh and skin, sweat and moans. PART 5 It’s afternoon and they are sitting in a park near Dylan’s school. The sight of the boy approaching them with his mother takes their breath away. Kelly greets them from afar and points them to her son. They stand up and walk in their direction. Sara and Grissom stop when they are in front of Dylan and Kelly.  4 souls, 4 people meant to be a family finally together.  Dylan is a mini version of Grissom. He is not so tall but he’s slim. He has short curly brown hair. His eyes are blue and curios. Behind his left ear he has a hearing aid. Kelly addresses them to Dylan; she gestures in sign language and tells him: - They are the friends I was talking to you about. – Grissom takes courage and speaks first, gesturing his words: - Hi Dylan, my name is Gilbert and she is my wife Sara. We are happy to meet you. Your mother told us a lot about you. – Sara: - Hi, sorry but my sign language is a little rusty. I will try to improve. – Dylan: - Don’t worry, I can hear you (he indicates the implant to Sara). Moreover, I’ve learned to read lips. You, (he addresses to Grissom) on the other hand are very good. – Grissom: - Thanks. My mum was deaf, she taught me – Dylan nods pondering the answer. Sara tries to break the silence: - How was your day? Do you like school? – Kelly intervenes: - He is the best of his class – Dylan gives her a little buff on her right arm: - Mum please! – Kelly smiles: - He is shy, he doesn't like to brag – Grissom and Sara, grinning, exchange a look of complicity mixed with pride: - We can imagine – Dylan fixes them and he asks abruptly: - Why don’t you tell me who you really are? – Grissom and Sara almost choke: - What? – Kelly scolds him: - Dylan?! – Dylan continues: - You are my real parents, aren’t you? Sara feels responsible and wants to give him an answer: - You are right, I’m your birth mother and he is your father. – Dylan insists: - Why are you here? – Kelly: - I asked them to come – Dylan turns to his mother in shock but Kelly goes on: - I have to know that you would be safe, cared for and loved when I will be gone – Dylan: - How could you think that I would stay with someone who abandoned me? – Kelly interrupts them: - You three need to talk, you need to know each other. Dylan please, you have to listen to them – Dylan: - I don’t want to – and he runs away. Kelly touches Sara’s shoulder, she feels her pain and apologizes for Dylan’s reaction: - Give him some time.  He is a good boy… he’s very smart – Grissom sighs: - I see – Sara is ashamed: - He is right, I made a mistake. – Kelly tries to soothe her by saying: - We all make mistakes, Sara – Sara: - But he is the one who’s paying the consequences of that mistake – Grissom: - We had our reasons, dear– Sara locks her eyes on Gil: - and why does it all seem so wrong now? – Kelly: - Let me talk to him – Sara replies: - No, I want to try - Sara goes to look for Dylan; Grissom follows her but she turns and stops him: - Give me 5 minutes – Gil nods; she approaches the boy. He is sitting on a swing. Sara asks him permission with a soft voice: - Can I? – Dylan shrugs his shoulders and Sara sits in the swing next to him. The boy leaps down and faces her. Sara: - I’m so sorry for everything, Dylan. I’m sorry for your mum, for your dad, for your earing problems, and above all I'm sorry for what I did to you. – Dylan: - Why did you leave me? – Sara tries her best to formulate an answer: - It’s complicated.... I wasn’t feeling very well. Something bad had happened to me. – Dylan interrupts her: - My father? Did he hurt you? – Sara: - No, absolutely not. He has always been kind to me – she invites Grissom to join them and he moves in their direction. – I was, I still am a Crime Scene Investigator. Do you know what it is? – Dylan nods and Sara continues: - I was working on a case, and a serial killer kidnapped me and left me to die. I managed to escape, your father and other members of my team saved me – Dylan listens very carefully. – But after that, nothing was the same. I was broken and unhappy. I wasn’t myself anymore and I couldn’t stay there. I went away from your father, from this town, from my old life. I could not be a good mother for you, you deserved more. – Dylan looks at Sara and then Grissom and says: - You are married now – Sara declares: - We got back together 5 years ago. – Grissom kneels in front of Dylan: - We're not here to be your parents, you already have them – Dylan states: - My mum is great! – Grissom agrees: - It’s true. We just want to know you, Dylan! – Sara teases: - Can you give us a chance? – Dylan thinks and then asks Sara something that has always intrigued him: - Did you give me a name before.. you .. ? Sara affirms instantly: - Arthur, I named you Arthur –

LITTLE FLASHBACK OF 13 YEARS EARLIER Sara was holding her baby when a nurse entered the room to take him. The social assistant was waiting outside. The woman checked the papers she had filled in. On the birth certificate she had written her name, Gilbert’s, and a new one: ARTHUR. She gave her baby a kiss on the forehead and passed him to the nurse who left the room, closing the door to a crying Sara. Grissom turns towards Sara, surprised by her admission. Sara looks at him directly in his eyes: - It’s your father’s middle name! – Dylan chuckles, satisfied by the answer: - It’s my middle name too – Sara is grateful that the Ross in some way had kept the name she had chosen for him. Dylan remarks: - My father was a pastor, he always told me to forgive the others. I’m forgiving you! – They give him an appreciative smile before Grissom touches his head saying: - He’d be very proud – Dylan nods and walks over to an emotional Sara. He wipes a tear from her face, similarly to what Gilbert would have done. She whispers a thank you to him, then they return to the bench where Kelly was sitting, watching the whole scene.

PART 6 Grissom and Sara start seeing Dylan every day after school. Their bond gets deeper and deeper. Dylan looks more at ease with them. He loves spending time with Gil, making experiments, going fishing or sailing. They find a new balance in their lives. Every once in a while, he even spends the night with them. The guest bedroom has become his room now. Kelly’s cancer on the other hand gets worse and she ends in hospital. It’s a Wednesday morning when Sara picks up Dylan from school and brings him to the hospital to give his mother one last hug. Kelly Ross dies at 2.00 PM of that same day and Dylan cries in the arms of Gilbert.  At the funeral he stands between Sara and Grissom. He is brave but silent. Over the last year, he has lost both of his parents and found two new ones. It’s strange how life takes an unexpected turn sometimes and turns up the way it should have from the beginning.  In fact, before her death, Kelly had arranged things so that Sara and Gil could have full custody of the boy and become a family.

PART 7 Sara is in a hurry; she greets her boss and some other members of the team as she prepares to leave the office. The receptionist at the desk calls her back and gives her some correspondence. She doesn’t have time to read it, she will do it later with calm. All she wants to do now is to go home to her boys and to enjoy the evening with them. After dinner Dylan does his homework in the living room, Gil prepares his lesson and Sara tidies the kitchen up. She suddenly remembers the letters in her purse, so she takes a break to read them. An envelope without a sender attracts her attention. She rips the envelope and her jaw drops.

Dear Sara Sidle, I’m Natalie Davis, you probably remember me as the miniature killer. I’ve been thinking of you very often lately. I know, I don’t have the right to write to you after all this time, but my journey here in prison made me reflect on my actions and on what I have done to you and to the other victims. I’m so sorry Mrs Sidle, I can’t change the past and my apologies can’t relieve your pain or what you’ve lost. I was angry and I seeked vengeance for no real reason except because I couldn’t accept the daemons from my past. I should have known that that wasn’t the answer but I was too lost. I hold Mr Grissom responsible for the death of Arnie Dell and I tried to take you away from him because of his love for you. However, and now I know this, it was not his fault and you were a collateral damage in my inner war. I don’t deserve your forgiveness; I’m not searching for redemption. I’m just happy that you are alive. I also hope life has been kind to you and that Mr Grissom is still by your side.                                                                                                      Sincerely, Natalie Davis                    

Sara confronts Grissom about the letter and what to do next. They are concerned, still they decide to go to the county jail to see Natalie in person. As CSI they get a special permit to meet her in the interrogation room. The door opens and a guard escorts Natalie Davis inside. She is handcuffed and she’s wearing an orange suit. For the first time in 14 years she, Sara and Gil are in the same room. The guard moves to stand in a corner and Natalie sits at the table. Natalie is surprised by this visit: - I didn’t expect you to come. - Sara: - I didn’t expect your letter either. - They contemplate in silence for some time. Natalie clears her throat: - Anyway, thank you. Your presence here is very important to me – Sara replies: - I’m here because I wanted to look you in the eyes, to make sure your words were true and your regret sincere. Natalie: - Mrs. Sidle, I don’t know what to do to prove it to you - Sara: - You wrote you don’t deserve forgiveness… – Natalie: - No, I don’t. I’m a sinner and I need to be punished for my sins! – Sara: - Hmmm. It was not easy to understand it but now, now I’ve got it. We have different backgrounds, different stories but we have one thing in common – Natalie looks confused. Sara continues: - We are survivors, Natalie! We are women with physical and psychological scars. I could have surrendered to the difficulties that life put in front of me, as you did, but I decided to move on and I’m still doing it – Sara grabs Gilbert’s hand and squeezes it. They exchange a tender look. They both smile before Sara shakes her head and goes on: – Therefore, I forgive you! – Natalie is incredulous: - Why are you so good to me after all I’ve done? - Sara: - I’m not good, I just think this place and your sense of guilt are enough for me. We cannot live in resentment forever, and you know what? I’ve learned such an important lesson from a very mature 13 years old boy who has been through hell in such a short time. Goodbye Natalie. - Sara and Gil stand up and leave the room, Natalie and her nightmares behind. Dylan will be home soon with some of his friends. Tonight, they will go to the Luna park, they will ride the rollercoaster and then eat pizza. Their future is definitely bright.

THE END

[yamisnuffles]

Falling For You

A week after receiving the thermos of holy water from Aziraphale, Crowley leaves London to try to clear his head. It goes even worse than expected. Luckily he has someone to save him from himself.

Read on Ao3

- - - - -

Crowley was falling. No, not like that. He'd already done that once and thankfully it wasn't the sort of thing you were expected to do twice. Also not like that. That sort of falling, for someone as it were, was something you could do more than once but Crowley never had. Well, perhaps he had but it had all been for the same person, time and again. No, this was a completely mundane fall, the sort humans did countless times a day. Only, this was no trip over a step and he was no human. He was a demon who had accidentally stumbled right off a cliff.

It was stupid. It was so stupid that he couldn’t think of anything else. He really wasn’t looking forward to explaining himself in Hell when he got discorporated. Did he leave out the part where he’d seen an angel, got so distracted by that fluff of hair as white as the cliffs that he hadn’t paid attention to where he was walking? Of course, if he left that out, it just left him with the scenario where he’d gone and stepped right over the edge. For no reason. There really wasn’t a good way to spin it. He’d have to spend however many decades getting mocked for it while he waited for a new body.

Great. Fantastic. What a way to finish the week. Start it by going too fast and end with a quick tumble to his death.

He closed his eyes and readied himself for a crash into the rocks. Instead, he heard the loud whump of something large passing through the air above him and came to an immediate stop. His eyes snapped back open to find that the very angel who had literally just about distracted him to death had come to save him. Aziraphale had his arms wrapped around him and his cloud white wings flared wide to abort their fall.

Crowley thought he should say something but apparently thought was still not playing nice with him. Instead he garbled out a bit of nonsense as Aziraphale adjusted his grip on him and flew back up. Aziraphale had Crowley held flush to his body in an iron tight embrace and Crowley thought he was just as likely to discorporate from that as from the fall.

Aziraphale flew up, up, up, until they were nowhere near the cliff edge and then lay Crowley on the grass. His arms were still draped loosely about Crowley, as though he was afraid if he let go altogether, Crowley would toss himself to the sea. Unlikely, Crowley thought, given that all he could do was gawp at the angel’s still unfurled wings and the light press where their bodies met at the hips on the ground.

“Crowley,” Aziraphale said, in his best, most chastising tone, “what were you thinking?”

Crowley worked his mouth.  He still couldn’t get his brain to work, let alone form words. Maybe he had died and he had been granted one last ridiculous fantasy before he left his body.

“Well?” Aziraphale pressed.

“Wasn’t. Thinking.” Try again. “Wasn’t thinking.” This whole impromptu trip was an exercise in that. He’d climbed in the Bentley without a destination in mind and driven until he hit the sea. “Was just sort of-” He waggled a pair of fingers like legs to get across the idea of walking.

“You just walked. Off. A. Cliff?”

“Nnnnnnh…” If he hadn’t wanted to tell Hell that he’d fallen because he’d spotted Aziraphale, he certainly didn’t want to tell the angel himself.

Aziraphale took his nonanswer as confirmation. His face crumpled and his sea blue eyes turned grey. “I know we didn’t part on the best of terms and while I’m quite glad you didn’t turn to the holy water for this, I didn’t think… I had hoped…”

Crowley felt like he was tumbling off the cliff again for the way his stomach plummeted. He waved his hands quickly to stop that line of thinking. “Angel. Angel. Angel.” There were tears falling onto his face now and Crowley couldn’t handle it. “Stop. Hey. It wasn’t on purpose, okay? I was just out here to clear my mind because being in the city was starting to drive me crazy and then who should I see but you and I, er, well. Ijustwalkedoffonaccident.”

Aziraphale blinked quickly to try to rid himself of some of the tears. “What was that?”

Crowley wrinkled his nose, swallowed hard, and sighed. “I said I just walked off on accident. I was so surprised to see you here that first I thought maybe I was hallucinating. Then I thought, hallucinating isn’t good. Then you were running toward me and shouting and I guess I figured that was a weird thing for a hallucination to do. But that meant you were really here. So then I felt stupid for staring and, well, ah, off I went.” He shrugged his shoulders as best he was able while lying in the grass in an angel’s arms. “Whoops?”

It was Aziraphale’s turn to gape. His mouth worked around word that wouldn’t come. Finally he said, “It was an accident? Truly? Why didn’t you fly back up yourself, then?”

Crowley blinked. Good question. “Uuuuuuuh… Could have done that, couldn’t I? Not my finest hour, gotta say.”

Aziraphale pulled Crowley in for a proper hug. With the Principality’s surprisingly strong arms, Crowley felt like he was being crushed. He wouldn’t complain, though. Wouldn’t dream of it. It felt like Heaven or better, really, since it was Aziraphale embracing him like both of their lives depended on it. 

“Oh, Crowley. Oh, thank goodness,” Aziraphale said between sniffling breaths. 

Crowley felt hot tears soak the shoulder of his jacket where Aziraphale’s face was buried. He let his hands flutter uselessly for a moment before he finally worked up the courage to put them on Aziraphale’s back. “There, there. Wouldn’t do for an angel to cry over a demon,” he said. He moved them in what he had intended to be a soothing motion but the effect was probably ruined by the way they jittered with his nerves. After more hesitation, he reached a little further and let his fingers ghost over feathers. And then, though he hated to say it, “Also probably wouldn’t do for any humans to see those.”

Aziraphale finally remembered himself. He released Crowley with a start and folded his wings safely back into another plane as he shuffled backward. With a water laugh he said, “Right. Silly me.”

Crowley tried to regain some dignity from the day’s events by picking himself off the ground and rematerializing sunglasses that he’d lost in his fall. He brushed off his jacket with his hand to buy himself a moment more. It wasn’t enough. When he looked back at Aziraphale, the angel’s eyes looked startlingly blue against the red that rimmed them.

“So, I guess you were out here for the same reason as me? Get away from London and-” You. He didn’t need to say it for Aziraphale to understand.

The angel nodded. “Funny that we both ended up in the same place.”

“Yeah, funny that.” He scratched the back of his neck. There was still air that needed clearing. “I know you still have your own ideas about why I wanted that holy water and I can promise you that’s not it until I’m out of breath but… What I’m trying to say is… Still the Ritz to look forward to, yeah? Listen, I’m not great with-” He wheeled his hand around in a gesture that didn’t really mean anything. “Anyway, sorry for scaring you, I guess.”

Aziraphale gave him a wide, wobbly smile. “Sorry for being such a distraction that you walked straight off a cliff.”

Crowley laughed, a real whole hearted laugh for the first time since that night with the thermos. “You bastard.” He jammed his fingers into his pockets to keep from reaching out and drawing Aziraphale into another hug. He jerked his chin inland. “Want a ride back? Unless-” Could he say it without shredding his own heart? Two could be bastards and he had a reputation to upkeep. “-You still think I go too fast.”

Aziraphale swatted his arm. “You do drive abominably. But, yes, I believe I would appreciate a lift.” He strode forward a few more steps at the demon’s side before adding, “That is, if you think you can keep your eyes on the road and not drive right off another cliff.”

“Alright. I’m not gonna hear the end of this, am I?”

“Hmmm, no, I don’t think you ever will.”

Crowley groaned. “Look, it’s not like this is worse than marching into the middle of a revolution to get some crepes.”

“Whatever helps you sleep at night, my dear.”

[inactiive-shit]

The Shoulder

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Warnings: mentioned violence

Pairings: platonic DLAMP

Words: 2,795

Summary: Virgil gets hurt and the last thing he wants to do is be vulnerable withe people. Unfortunately for him, there are a few people he might like to be able to be vulnerable with.

Any inaccuracies with this one are on me, as I have never dislocated a shoulder. My sincerest apologies to every character I wrong when I get bored. Sorry, I had no idea what to name this.

Virgil didn’t want to knock on the door. He wanted to turn around and run away, tail tucked between his legs, and face the wrath of his friends sometime next week, when he couldn’t feasibly put off seeing them any longer. Truth be told, he wouldn’t have even come here if it had just been a few cuts and bruises.

But it wasn’t.

No, Virgil’s entire arm was kind of useless at the moment. Mostly because his shoulder got dislocated. While Virgil would love to say he could deal with that wound on his own, he knew better. He also knew that if he didn’t come for help and his friends found out, they might actually kill him. So, here he was. Trying to knock. It was harder than it looked, okay?

Finally, Virgil rapped the bruised knuckles on his functional hand against the door, trying not to wince. He only had to wait a few seconds before he heard pounding feet coming right at the door. Then it flew open to reveal Patton’s excited face.

“Hey, Virge! We weren’t sure if you were going to come tonight or-” Patton’s speech ground to halt as he finally took Virgil in. His hand reached out and gently cupped the less bruised side of his face. “Oh, Virgil.”

“Could I come in?” he grunted. Patton nodded and withdrew, leaving the entryway wide open before Virgil. He stumbled inside, and when Patton tried to wrap an arm around his waist to support him Virgil jolted. There were just too many bruises on his body for anything to not hurt.

Patton helped Virgil into the kitchen and he (carefully) collapsed in a chair. Patton rushed off before Virgil could even say thanks, and then he came back with the first aid kit and Logan in tow.

“Who did this to you?” Patton asked as he began setting up the supplies he needed. Virgil glanced away, and then made an aborted shrug-stupid fucking shoulder.

“Same old, same old.” He tried not to notice the assessing gaze that Logan directed at him, the sharp eyes that would see the reason Virgil had come here likely before Virgil felt like addressing it.

“Virgil, that’s not a name.” Patton began wiping Virgil’s face with something wet, a little harsher than he needed to. Virgil hissed and jerked back.

“Jesus, Pat. Are you trying to reopen the cuts?”

“Stop complaining,” Patton shot back and continued cleaning up the blood with barely any change to his methods. “You know, if you could just call us before doing something so-so-”

“Obtuse? Ludicrous? Half-witted? Shortsighted?” Logan suggested.

“Stupid, then you wouldn’t be nearly as hurt half as often. We could help you. You know we would.” Patton hesitated, eyes softening for a second. “We take care of our own, Virge.”

Before Virgil could refute that, say that they shouldn’t have to, or explain that it actually wasn’t his fault this time, he heard two more pairs of feet stomping down the steps.

“Padre! Nerd! What’s taking so long-” Roman stopped dead as he entered the kitchen, causing Dee to walk face first into his back. Roman barely budged, eyes glued to what he could see of Virgil’s injuries. His voice was an unbearably soft, concerned whisper as he said, “What the hell, Virgil?” and then turned angry and much louder as he proceeded it with, “Another fight? Are you fucking serious?”

Once again, no one waited for Virgil’s response or defense. Logan told Roman to calm down, and Roman began yelling at them both, and Logan got in Roman’s face. Then Patton abandoned his station as caretaker to get between the two of them and prevent the second fight that Virgil could lay witness to that night.

It was only Dee, who edged around the brewing tensions, that acknowledged Virgil in the situation at all.

“Damn,” he muttered, taking in Virgil’s face and pinching his chin to move it around to see from all angles, “I’d hate to see the other guy.”

“Guys.”

“What.” Dee’s voice lost all emotion and he brought Virgil’s face back to stare directly into his eyes. “What the fuck did you just say?”

“Guys. Plural. As in more than one,” Virgil spat. He was glaring, but they both knew it had nothing to do with Dee.

At least, Virgil thought they both knew that.

Dee dropped Virgil’s face and stalked across the kitchen like a storm, finally gathering the attention of the other three. His face was curled into a snarl, scar standing out stark white against the burning red. He stood at the sink for a moment, staring out the window. Logan reached forward.

“Dee, is everything-”

He spun, startling Logan into going quiet. “Are you telling me,” he said - at Virgil more than to him, but at least he was speaking with Virgil in mind, right? “Are you telling me that you went out and fought multiple people at the same time without getting us first?” Dee’s voice had gone from barely controlled anger to outright yelling, and as soon as he finished the others were all piling on, adding their two cents to something they knew nothing about.

Virgil launched himself out of the chair then, and went for the back door. Gods, he wouldn’t have come at all if he had known that they would react like this, if he had realized they were just going to yell and scream and set off his anxiety after he’d already had his ass beat once tonight. This was bullshit. And really, wasn’t it what Virgil got? The one time he actually tries to get help, accept the offer that they will always be there for him, of course they would only get mad and blame Virgil for it, as though Virgil wanted to be covered in bruises and blood and injuries and-

Virgil felt the hand wrap around his dislocated arm, and Virgil tried to backpedal before his arm got yanked by his own stupid momentum, but -

But it was too late.

Virgil screamed as his arm wrenched backward and he hit the floor, curling in on himself. He could only be vaguely aware of the hand on his arm disappearing because the pain exploding from his shoulder was taking up all his senses. It pounded through him like a hammer and anvil, and all he could do was press his face into his knees and force breaths through clenched teeth in the same pattern Logan had taught him so long ago. It helped with panic, so maybe it would help with pain, too.

Minutes later, or hours or days, Virgil could hear Logan’s voice in front of him. “Just keep breathing Virgil. You’re doing very well. Keeping breathing.” He could also hear Logan’s hand making a steady beat against the linoleum of Patton’s kitchen, and he began the nerve-wracking process of matching his breathing to that pattern. Logan was a much steadier counter than Virgil was. It made for a much more effective breathing exercise.

It took at least ten more minutes for Virgil to be able to think coherent thoughts past the pain, and another two to even consider talking when every part of him hurt so badly.

“I’m-I’m good now,” he panted to Logan. He slowly uncurled himself from his knees. “Help me up?”

“Where-where will it not hurt?” Logan asked, and Virgil snorted. (Which hurt and almost threw Virgil headlong into a round of crying, but he had some self control, give him credit.)

“Everything hurts, L. Just, just take my hand, yeah?” Virgil offered Logan his more functional arm, and after a moment’s hesitation Logan used the arm to pull Virgil up. When he was standing again, Virgil pressed his head against Logan’s shoulder with his eyes closed and chanted I will not puke in his head until the vertigo passed.

“Virgil? What’s wrong?” That was definitely Patton’s voice, shaky and soft. Virgil glanced at him to see Patton was standing farther away than the other two, and he was holding his hands to his chest like he’d been burned.

Patton had been the one to grab his arm, then.

“I-it’s, um, can I-sit. I need to sit down.” Logan helped Virgil to the table, barely touching him like he thought one wrong move would kill him. Virgil wanted to laugh, but that wouldn’t be appropriate right now, and it would probably kick start another argument and Virgil would definitely have to leave if that happened.

“Is your arm broken?” Dee asked, and he tried for his regular look of nonchalance, but he was pale and holding Roman’s hand. Virgil opened his mouth to speak, but another bout of nausea almost had him redecorating Patton’s kitchen, so he clamped his hand over his mouth and tried not to let the bile come up.

“Who did this, Virge?” Patton asked. “How did this happen?”

Virgil took a deep breath in, and tried to focus on the others’ breathing. It was better than pain and more real than the chair he was sitting on.

“I was coming here, and I crossed the alley by the river,” Virgil said.

“Stupid,” Roman whispered. It was less an accusation than a plea. Virgil whole-heartedly agreed. Stupid didn’t even kind of cover it, and he wished he could stop.

“Yeah, well, I thought-I don’t know. It doesn’t matter. Point is, Remus’s friends were hanging down there, and I didn’t realize that until I was getting the shit kicked out of me.” Virgil did laugh then, small and cold and painful. It was too funny, really. He was always warning the others not to take that path, not to go where they knew those assholes hung out alone, and yet Virgil decided to do it. Alone. At night. All because he’d been running a little late and had missed more than his share of their hang-outs. It wasn’t fair, and Virgil was tired of not seeing his friends. Virgil was tired of showing up with bruises. Virgil was just very, very tired.

“I am going to kick hisss asssss,” Dee muttered, slipping into the hiss that only his closest friends got to hear. The look on Logan and Roman’s faces seemed to say that they agreed, which was odd considering Logan was the one most opposed to violence in their group.

Virgil decided not to dwell on that.

“So, what’s wrong with your arm?” Patton murmured.

“Shoulder’s dislocated, I think. I felt something pop and it hurts like a bitch.”

“God, I am so sorry, Virgil. I didn’t even-”

“It’s fine, Pat. It’s not your fault.” Virgil kept his eyes firmly on his hands in his lap. “I didn’t exactly tell you.”

“No, V, it’s-”

“Not now, Patton. We need to handle this injury before anything else.” Logan was eyeing Virgil’s shirt and jacket like a particularly difficult puzzle. “I need to see your shoulder to fix this, and to do that I will need to remove your clothes. I can infer that such an action would cause you immense pain, so I am unsure as to how we should go about this.”

“Cut it off,” Roman suggested. Virgil’s head shot up to him incredulously.

“What?” he demanded.

“Cut it off,” Roman repeated. “That jacket is shit, no offense Virgil. It’s not even lined and you’ve been wearing it so long it’s not even black anymore. It’s gray. And the shirt isn’t anything special either. It’s just a plain shirt.”

“I don’t have any clothes here, you moron. What am I supposed to wear?” Virgil said.

“Patton has clothes.”

“I am four inches taller than Patton.”

“And I’m three inches shorter. What’s your point?” Virgil looked wildly between Roman and everyone else. They all seemed to be in agreement.

“This is so stupid,” Virgil mumbled. He leaned back in the chair, one arm crossed and the other hanging uselessly at his side.

“Actually,” Logan said, staring consideringly at Virgil’s clothes, “we may not need to cut it off completely. The jacket is big enough it can probably be moved out of the way with relatively little difficulty, and the shirt would only need a cut through the fabric so that I can see your shoulder. But past that, I don’t think we would have to cut the whole garment off.”

Virgil sighed. “Fine. Do whatever.” He did his best not to whimper or flinch when Logan leaned closer, though judging by the look he got from Roman he still looked pretty damn pathetic.

“Definitely dislocated,” Logan announced. Virgil refrained from shrugging. “I can fix this. However, it will hurt. It will hurt a lot. I’ll be quick, Virgil, but I have to pop it back into place. That entails quite literally moving the ball of your arm around the socket in your shoulder until it goes back into place.” Logan’s eyes were large and worried behind his glasses.

“That’s supposed to be quick?” Virgil asked. He definitely didn’t whimper it or mumble it at his lap like a scared kid. He asked, because he was Virgil and Virgil got hurt enough that he would never embarrass himself by being scared of it.

Really. That’s...mostly true.

“It sounds a lot more complicated than it is,” Logan said. “But you are going to have to stand up. And I would feel a lot more comfortable if Roman could also come over here to steady you.” As Roman crossed the room, Logan looked over to Patton. “He’s going to need a sling. Do you think you could find one or perhaps something we can turn into one?”

“There should be one in the basement,” Patton murmured, staring with a distant horror at Virgil. But then Dee grabbed his arm and he snapped out of it. They both went downstairs.

“I’m not entirely sure I can stand back up,” Virgil said. Roman smiled, strained.

“That’s what you have me for, Dark And Gloomy. I’ve got ya. Just push with your legs.” Roman secured one hand under Virgil’s good elbow and put the other on his opposite side. On the count of three, they pulled Virgil to standing and he swallowed the vertigo down again. There could be time for puking up stomach acid later.

“Alright,” Logan said, placing one hand on Virgil collar bone and wrapping the other around his wrist. “I’m going to, well, essentially I’m just going to yank your arm and then the ball should pop back into the socket.”

“Should?” Roman asked. Virgil knew if he looked at Roman’s face and saw the incredulity there, he wouldn’t be able to do this.

“Fuck this,” Virgil said.

“It will,” Logan rephrased, then looked at Virgil. “Are you ready? On the count of three. One, two, three.”

The next thing Virgil knew, he was blinking awake and laying in Roman’s lap on the kitchen floor. His arm hurt like hell, but a lot less of hell than it had been before. He didn’t try to move it. He’d honestly rather just sleep.

“Are you awake there, Edgar Allan Woe?” Roman asked. One of his hands was brushing through Virgil’s hair. Virgil grunted and shook his head. Roman laughed. “Good for you. You really, uh, scared me there, Virge. I thought Logan had killed you.”

“‘m harder to kill than that, Princey,” Virgil mumbled.

“Obviously,” Roman agreed. “So, Logan got you a glass of water then went to see what’s taking Patton so long. I could give you the water, or I could move you to the couch in the living so that you’re resting somewhere comfortable. Your choice.”

“I doubt you could move me. I have seven inches on you.”

“And zero pounds,” Roman retorted. “To the couch we go.” Virgil hissed as Roman stood up with him and carried him to the other room. Roman set him down more gently than Virgil felt he’d ever been treated before, and then Roman was grabbing the glass of water from the kitchen and making Virgil drink.

“You have any other major injuries we should know about?” Roman asked. Virgil shrugged, winced, and then shook his head.

“Just bruises and stuff.” Virgil shut his eyes. “I’m going to sleep. Wake me if something cool happens.”

“You got it, Count Woelaf. See you in the morning.” Roman wedged himself under Virgil’s head and began running his hands through Virgil’s hair again. “That’s totally unfair. Somehow, even when you’re covered in dirt and blood, your hair is still softer than mine.” Virgil snorted, and let himself drift off. It was probably the most comfortable and safe he’d felt in weeks, and he was fucking exhausted. Putting on a sling could come later. For now, Virgil would sleep. And in the morning, he would eat. Simple as that.

[avengerscompound]

Mixology - The Soldier and the Orphan

Mixology - A Captain America Fanfic

Series Masterlist Previous //

Buy me a ☕ Character Pairing:  Steve Rogers x Reader

Word Count:  2905

Series Warnings:  Angst, Character death, Breaking up and making up, past trauma, pregnancy, talk of abortion, smut (vaginal sex, fingering, other things)

Synopsis:   Steve Rogers comes into your bar and after a night of flirting you take him home.  When he leaves the next day you never expect to see him again.

A/N:  This fic was written pre-Infinity War.  Here’s where it deviates from canon.

The Soldier and the Orphan

Four months.  Four months you wait without a word for the Avengers to return.  The fight against Thanos for the Infinity Stones occurred both on and off planet.  Sometimes you’d see Steve fighting in the far off distance in news reports, only to not see him again for weeks.  Tony sent updates periodically to FRIDAY.  At one point Clint was badly injured.  He came back in a jet with Natasha who just dropped him with the medical team and ran.  There was no time to fill you in.

You visited in with Clint regularly.  He tried so hard not to worry you.  Telling you the last time he saw Cap he was fine.  That they were struggling but he hadn’t lost hope.  The careful words he used made you feel more fearful than if he straight up told you they were losing.  It made you feel like you were standing on a tightrope and at any point, you could plunge off.  At least him being honest you’d know.

“Don’t worry, darlin’,”  Clint said as you sat beside his bed trying to ply him for more information.  He was drinking from a juice box that looked ridiculously small in his large hands.  “He’s Captain America.  He’s coming home.   Look! I came home and I’m just a regular guy.”

“You only barely came home.”  You mutter.

“Yeah, but like I said.  Regular guy.  Cap’s not a regular anything.  He’ll be back for you.  It’s all he talked about.”  Clint assured you.

He crunched the juice box in his fist.  “Ugh, I feel like I just stole my kid's lunch.  Sneak me in a beer or something next time.  Or better yet… Long Island Ice Tea.  We can pretend it’s the prohibition.”

“You’re not allowed to drink on your pain meds.”  You sigh.

He rolled his eyes and groaned.  “That’s why it would be like the prohibition.”

Clint went home a couple of weeks after that.  He was permanently out of the fight and he just wanted to be around his family.  You could sympathize.  You wanted the exact same thing.

By the time the Quinjet returned to the compound your morning sickness had gone away.  You were starting to show a little, but you weren’t so big it was uncomfortable.  All the test were fine, both you and the baby were healthy.  If only the crushing weight of fear would go away.

You rush outside, running across the tarmac and as you get closer you start seeing them emerge from the jet.  Tony comes first, followed by Rhodey, then Natasha, Bruce, Wanda.   They look so exhausted and battered.  Tony sees you and he starts running towards you.  That action is when you knew.  You knew.

You drop to your knees as he gets to you and wail.  Crying out incoherently in anguish.  Tony wraps his arms around you.  “I’m sorry.  I’m so sorry.”  He says, stroking your hair.

His apology just makes it worse.  You sob, loudly.  It wracks your body.  You can’t get control of yourself or bring yourself to do anything other than to succumb to the anguish you feel, sitting on the hot runway.

Tony lifts you and carries you inside.   Taking you to the room that was Steve’s room and putting you into bed.  You cry yourself to sleep with Tony sitting beside you stroking your hair.

He was completely obliterated.  That’s what you got from them.  He, Doctor Strange and some raccoon.  A raccoon they said.  It felt like they were making a joke out of it.  How could he have been fighting with a raccoon?  They were hit with an energy blast so large that when the dust cleared all that was left was a crater in the ground.  You didn’t even have a body to bury.  There was a memorial put up outside the compound.  It nearly killed you having to attend the revealing of that.  Here’s the permanent reminder of what happens when you’re determined to fight in battles in which you are ridiculously outclassed.

You weren’t the only one struggling with his loss though.  They all were, to different extents, but none more so than Bucky Barnes.  You and Bucky were inconsolable.  You were also both completely alone and out of place with the Avengers.  None of the others seemed to really like him.  There was just this level of resentment and fear around him.  He spent so much time alone.  While the others tried to draw you in and make sure you felt like you had them to lean on, they at best ignored Bucky and at worst were openly hostile to him.  Only Wanda and Sam seemed to tolerate him and show him any level of kindness.

You started to circle each other.  Attracted to the shared grief and isolation.  Neither of you really speaking to each other.   You were each someone to be sad next to, so you didn’t have to be sad alone.

You were sitting in the communal living area together.  The last of the others had just passed through the room off to work.  You were now seven months pregnant and still had no idea what you were doing with yourself.  You felt the strong need to leave, but you had no one anymore.  No one except this group of friends of Steve’s.  Many of whom had shown they weren’t exactly good friends and none of whom you knew particularly well.

“Why do they hate you so much?”  You ask, as Natasha said goodbye to you and ignored Bucky all together.

“You don’t know?”  He replies, looking at you sadly.

“I only know what Steve told me about you.  Most of that was what you did as kids.  I know that you were captured by Hydra and that he spent two years trying to find you.  He never liked to speak to me about Captain America stuff.  It’s why they don’t really know me well.  I was Steve’s place to be Steve.”  You explain.

Bucky reaches over and squeezes your hand.  “I’m glad he had you.”  He sighs and runs his hand through his hair.  “They don’t trust me.  I was under mind control.  I’ve openly attacked Sam.  I threw him off a helicarrier.  Natasha too, but worse.  We have history.  I shouldn’t say too much, because it’s her personal stuff but I was made to do things to her you wouldn’t do to an animal.  Tony…  I murdered Tony’s parents.  It’s all justifiable.”

“You were under mind control?”  You ask.

He nods but doesn’t look at you.

“So, it wasn’t really you.”

“I know.  But it happened.  They think it might happen again.  It’s not always easy to forgive.  I’m not sure that I deserve it if they could bring themselves to anyway.”  He says.

This time you take his hand and squeeze it.  “Why don’t you leave?”

Bucky shrugs.  “I’m not allowed.  It’s one of the conditions of me not being in prison that I remain in the custody of the Avengers.  I’m basically their weapon now.”

Your heart breaks for him.  What he’s going through is so much more than losing his best friend.  He’d lost the only person who trusted him.  Who saw him as a human being.

“Steve talked about you coming to live with us a lot.  He wanted you back in his life so badly.  He trusted you, Bucky.  So I trust you.”  You say.

He looks at you and smiles.  “Do you think that when the baby is born you’d let me be part of its life?  I mean like it’s uncle or something?”

“Of course you can be her uncle.  Steve wanted that.  I think they’re going to need someone other than me.”

“Her?”  He asks, his eyes going wide.

“Yeah.  I’m having a girl.  Do you think Steve would have been excited to know that?  I sometimes wonder what his reaction would have been to finding out.”  You reply.  Tears start slipping down your cheeks.  You wipe them away in frustration and Bucky moves closer to you putting his arm around your shoulder.

“He would have been really excited, doll.  He would have been ecstatic.”  Bucky soothes.

You rest your head in the crook of his arm, not realizing how badly you’d missed physical contact with another person.  “She has the hiccups.  You wanna feel?”

He looks at you with eyes wide.  “You can feel that?”

You take his hand and place it on your stomach.  A moment later it twitches as your daughter hiccups inside the womb.  Bucky grins at you.  “Oh wow.  That’s so weird.  Poor little thing probably has no idea what’s going on.”

Out of nowhere grief just takes hold of you.  Bucky’s genuine interest and concern for your unborn baby just reminds you of how Steve was never going to get to be part of this.  That you have been and are completely alone in this.  You break down in loud, uncontrollable sobs and get up, intent on heading to your room to escape your embarrassment and how vulnerable you feel.

Bucky gets up and stops you with a hand on your elbow.  “What happened?  Did I do something?”

You turn to face him, trying to get yourself under control.  “How - am - I - supposed to - do this?”  You ask.  Your words coming out in short burst as you sob.  “He was - supposed - supposed to be here.  I’m so alone.”

Bucky wraps his arms around you and holds you against his chest.  Holding you as you release all the grief you’d just been sitting on in an attempt to stay strong for the past three months in one go.  “It’s okay.  It’s okay.  You don’t need to be alone.  I’m here.”

“It’s not the same.”

Bucky shakes his head.  “No.  I know.  But you aren’t alone, doll.  You’re not.”

Bucky is as good as his word.  By your ninth month of pregnancy, he’s attended every visit to the medical wing with you.  He’s seen every ultrasound.  He’s catered for every craving.  He rubs your back when you complain about back pain and your feet when you complain about them.  He’s not Steve and he never will be, but he’s there for you and you both need that person so badly.

The closer and closer you get to your due date the more and more it becomes clear that neither of you belongs in the Avengers compound.

You knock on Tony’s office door and he waves you in like you’re bothering him. He spins in his chair and puts his feet on his desk.  On his window sill is a sketch of a monkey on a unicycle that looks like something Steve drew.  You frown when you take your seat.

“What’s up, sad sack?”  He asks.

“After the baby is born I’m leaving.”  You say.

Tony sits bolt upright and puts his hands on the desk.  “Hey, hey.  Let’s not make any rash decisions.”

“I don’t belong here, Tony.  You know it.  I know it.  Everyone does.”  You sigh.  “It would be different if Steve was here.  But he isn’t and we all need to start realizing that.”

“He told me to look after you.”  Tony implores.  His reaction is like you’re causing him physical pain.

“You have been looking after me.  I don’t plan on going far.  I can’t exactly run like I did last time.  I have someone else I have to consider now.  But I don’t belong here.  I do need …”  You stop short of saying him.  “The Avengers.  You were his family and I don’t have any.  But I just need my own place away from this.”

“You’ll stay nearby?”  He asks sounding relieved.

“Of course.”  

Tony puts his feet back on the desk.  “Alright, well let me know what you need to set your place up.  If that’s it…”

“I’m taking Bucky with me.”

His feet come down and now when he looks at you he looks furious.  “I don’t think that’s going to work at all.”

“Why?  Why not?  He’s miserable here.  You hate him.  It would be better for everyone.”

“Are you two?”  He waves his hand at you.

“No.”

He once again seems relieved.  “Good.  Good.  So why do you care?”

“He’s Steve’s best friend.  You think Steve would want to see him like this?  Just let him come with me.”  You implore.

Tony spins in his chair so he’s facing out the window.  “I can’t.  Both he and Wanda have to remain on Avenger’s property unless on a sanctioned mission.  It was the conditions of his release.”

You take your phone out of your pocket and open up your web browser before sliding it over to Tony.  “This is a four bedroom two bathroom house for sale just on the edge of town, about half an hour to the compound.  It’s $185,000 dollars which I think you will agree is pocket change for you.”

He picks up the phone and looks at it.  “Are you suggesting that I buy this house and register it to the Avengers just so Barnes can live with you in it.”

“You owe me.  Let’s not pretend you don’t.  You owe him too.”

Tony slams his hands on the desk making you jump.  “I don’t owe him shit!”  He yells.  “He killed my parents!”

“No.  He didn’t.”  You say, calmly.

“I saw the footage.  It was him!”

“You know that’s not true.  Not really.  And what does it matter?  You won’t have to have him around anymore.  Won’t that be better for you?”  You ask.

He just stares at you not saying anything.  You stay silent too and you don’t break eye contact.  Eventually, he breaks.

“Fine.”  He says turning back away from you.  “I’ll make it happen.”

You get up and walk around the desk putting your hand on his shoulder.  He turns and you hug him. He’s startled, to begin with, but his arms wrap around you.  “Thank you, Tony.”

He grunts and holds you for a little longer before letting you go.  “Okay, get off me.  You’re crushing me with that giant belly of yours.”

You smile at him and ruffle his hair before going to find Bucky.

You find him in his room lying on the bed listening to music with headphones in.  You lie down next to him and he pops an earbud out of his ear and smiles at you.  “Hey, waddles.  What’s up?”

You punch him in the arm and he starts laughing.  It might be the first time you’ve ever heard him do that.

“You’re such a jerk.”  You say.

Something passes over his features and he frowns for just a second before his smile returns.  “You’re oddly not the first person to tell me that.”  He shifts his body so you’re resting on his bicep.  He feels warm and you snuggle down against him enjoying the contact.  “Did you need something?  Or just felt the need to get into bed with me?”  His metal hand strokes over the large curve of your belly.

“Don’t even joke about that.  I’m so fucking horny at the moment.  You’d be crushed under me.”   You groan.  You look up at the ceiling and take a deep breath.  “When the baby is born, I’m going to move out.”

Bucky’s face falls.  “I - I thought we - that you’d let me…”

You put your hand over his mouth silencing him.  “You want to come with me?”

Bucky shakes his head.  “I can’t.  They won’t let me.”

“I talked to Tony.  We worked something out.  You’d still be under house arrest.  But it would be our house away from the rest of them.”  You explain.

His face lights up and he leans in and kisses you.  It’s just an excited press of his lips against yours but it feels so good, a little part of you wants it to be deeper.  You shake the feeling off and while you watch him the lights suddenly go out behind his eyes and he frowns again.  “Just as friends though?”

“Yeah.  Just as friends.”  You agree.

“Because you’re Steve’s wife.  I like you, doll.  But I couldn’t do that.”  He explains.

“It’s fine.  I miss him too.”  You say.  “And even if I was ready to move on, which I’m not.  He was an anomaly for me.  I don’t do relationships.  They’re messy and they hurt.  I broke my own promise to myself with him and look where that got me.  Broken hearted, widowed and with an orphan about to enter the world.”

“You shouldn’t close your heart off like that,”  Bucky says, reaching over and tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.  “You deserve to find happiness.”

You shrug.  “I don’t think that’s how it works. And I have to believe it doesn’t work like that because if what I’d been served over the course of my life has been what I deserve I must be the worst fucking person on the planet.”  Tears threaten to break again and you rub your eyes.  “It’s the way it is for me.  From now on it’s me and the baby.  I’ll try and make sure she doesn’t grow up as damaged as I am.  Maybe she can get the happy ending that was denied to me.”

Bucky pulls you against him, holding you tightly to him.  “We can get that.  I know we can.”  He murmurs.  You decide for his sake you won’t correct him.

// NEXT

[godaime-obito]

my fill for @kakaobiweek2019 day 14: free day. im on my monster bs; enjoy konoha plus 100% more gorgons and witches

Obito hasn’t been back to Konoha in a long time. Not since before the cave, and the witch, and the curse. But as much as he dreads being back here, risking seeing familiar faces, he can at least be sure there won’t be any more witches. At least not ones like Kaguya was. The city has an excellent grasp on its supernatural population. Thank you Tobirama Senju: master of regulation and city planning.

The streets are the same as he remembers, dimly lit by old lights, but some of the stores have changed. Obito wonders how many closures and grand openings he missed the last decade and a half. His favorite dango stand is gone, and it makes him feel exceptionally old for only being 28. It’s silly of him; it was just a little stand. He detours from his path to the administrative building, where he intends to register the type of supernatural being he is and, well, finally report in as not being dead, to check that Ichiraku’s Ramen is still there.

Dusk is falling over Konoha. It’s settling in to be a foggy night as well and the streets are emptier than he expected. Ichiraku’s banners wave in the slight breeze, barely illuminated by the shop’s single outdoor light. They’re still open, and he can hear customers talking inside. A shout, a giggle, and then a reprimand in familiar voice.

Obito would be lying if he said he didn’t recognize who the last voice was. It’s not too late for him to turn back to his original path, content in the knowledge the shop is still here. He doesn’t, instead he slips through the curtain and quietly takes a seat on the opposite end of the bar from the ones already there. Ayame comes to take his order. She’s about the same age as him. He remembers coming here with Sensei and Kushina-neechan and seeing her tracing her father’s steps, eager to learn the family business. She doesn’t recognize him. To her credit, he is wearing a mask.

He wonders if he’s changed too much to be recognized at all, even without the mask. He was already scarred when he woke up after Kanabi Bridge, but then the witch happened too. Uchiha aren’t supernatural, despite their eyes. He was normal until the curse. He still can’t believe he was turned into a gorgon. Logically he knew gorgons originated from a curse, but he thought nowadays they were all just descendants of the ones originally cursed, not that there were witches running around still using it all haphazard. He couldn’t remove the mask if he wanted to without temporarily or even permanently freezing anyone who isn’t also a gorgon, and he has to keep his hood up in case he gets emotional and his hair goes serpentine on him.

Never mind. He doesn’t want to linger on that. He’d even rather think about Kakashi. If Obito spoke loud enough for him to hear would Kakashi know his voice like Obito knew his? Does he want to be recognized? It would be better to go unnoticed, but at the same time he wants to be important enough to remember. Wants Kakashi to have retraced every memory of the team’s time together the way Obito has.

Glancing over, he catalogues the other customers. Kakashi and three others, all of them sitting together. The others are just kids. He can only see their profiles; A blond boy, a girl with pink hair, and a boy with black hair and a very Uchiha look. They’re eleven or twelve or thirteen. About the age he was when he last saw Kakashi. The man’s new team, for which he is the Sensei? He can’t imagine him teaching anything. But it’s been a long time. People change. Obito certainly has.

He can’t help repeatedly glancing over as he eats. He feels like a real creep, but Kakashi is right there. He looks so much like Obito imagined. Well, considering a portion of his imagining was just ‘the same mask covering half his face’ maybe that’s not too impressive. It seems like the others might be ready to leave the last time he looks over and his gaze lingers in preparation for it being his last chance to see them.

Kakashi glances his way before he finishes starring and catches him in the act. It’s embarrassing, but with the orange mask on he at least he can’t see the weird face Obito’s probably making. He quickly shifts his eye back to his ramen. Maybe Kakashi will just move on and forget the strange man with one eye and a bright orange mask staring him down during his team dinner? Yeah, right. He’ll probably track him down and bother him later. Obito had to get ramen and see him, and now he’s going to be dodging him every step of the way. Literally hunted by his past. He shouldn’t have pissed off Konan; he could still be in Ame, which is blessedly low on both witches and ghosts. Or at least low on ghosts from his past. Plenty of the other kind.

Obito manages to avoid seeing Kakashi again for a full week. A true testament to his greatly improved ninja skill. He couldn’t even avoid him a full day as a kid. He’s not so clumsy now, except perhaps in the moments he most needs to be graceful and said grace immediately abandons him. No, he doesn’t want to think about that.

His luck runs out on a bright and beautiful day at an open field used as a training ground. Obito isn’t actually training, just lying in the grass enjoying being alone, only to be suddenly not alone.

“Hello there,” a voice calls from a short distance away, “I’ve seen you around lately, but I don’t think we’ve been introduced.” Kakashi is standing at the edge of the trees bracketing the field, leaning lazily against one.

“To the contrary,” Obito replies, “I think we have been before. I couldn’t forget a mask as nice as yours.” He doesn’t move from his spot on the ground.

“Strange,” Kakashi says, “I don’t think I could forget one as livery as yours either, yet it doesn’t seem to ring a bell.”

“I suppose we met before I started wearing this mask,” he answers.

“Well then,” he exclaims, “You must introduce yourself! It’s only proper to do it again whenever you change masks.”

“Of course!” Obito says, rather enjoying their little façade of a conversation. “How about a trade?” he proposes.

“A trade?” Kakashi prompts.

“I’ll reintroduce myself if you take off your little mask,” he says, “Why I’ll even take my mask off too.” Ha. What do you have to say to that Kakashi? He’s worn that mask practically since birth and never shown anyone his face. Obito wouldn’t be surprised to find out Sakumo never saw his own son’s face.

“You drive a hard bargain,” he says with consideration, “I don’t know if seeing my face is good for your health.”

“Are you being vain or self-deprecating? “Obito wonders aloud, “Does that mean it’s too ugly or too beautiful to be seen?”

“Neither,” Kakashi says cheerfully, “Just too powerful. I have a very strong face you know.”

“What a coincidence! That’s also why I started wearing this mask.”

The air is tense in the field. They stare at each other waiting to see if either will break character or give in. He considers just taking off his mask for the satisfaction of seeing Kakashi frozen in place indefinitely. Obito wants to see Kakashi’s face even more than he wants to freeze him though. He sizes him up a moment and then finally stands up and moves towards Kakashi.

“How about I give you a few hints first?” Obito suggests, “We haven’t seen each other in more than a decade and I was born here in Konoha. He comes to a stop just in front of him. “Ring any bells?” he asks.

“I suppose it does a bit, but it’s still far too vague,” he answers. Kakashi’s tensed slightly after is approach, slight enough a less observant person would miss it.  

“Really?” Obito drawls, “How about this: Bakashi.” His heads jerks at the sound, utterly shocked, and he moves forward without thinking. He aborts halfway through a step towards him, but it’s too late. Obito snaps a hand toward him and grabs ahold of the top of his mask and pulls downward as Kakashi tries to step back again.

He is beautiful. However, Obito doesn’t feel particularly overpowered by it. Kakashi looks less like Sakumo than he thought he would, and he has a rather adorable mole below his lip. Oddly it almost sounds like he’s being hissed at. Kakashi’s mouth isn’t moving, but his hair is. He glances up at it. Snakes. He looks back down at Kakashi’s bewildered face.

“You’re… okay?” he says.

“What the fuck Bakashi. You never mentioned being a gorgon. We were teammates for years,” Obito complains and jerks off his own mask, tossing it on the nearby ground.

“O- Obito?” Kakashi says. He looks no less confused than a moment ago and his hair is still made of little silver snakes. They’re kind of cute. “It never came up? How are you okay? Where have you been all this time?” he adds. He doesn’t seem like any of this has sunk in yet.

“I was pulled out of the rubble by a plant creature. I wanted to come back, but then I got cursed and had to fight a witch to the death,” he explains, “It didn’t get rid of the main part of the curse though. Guess it’s permanent.”

“Curse? Permanent?” Kakashi questions. In response Obito yanks back his hood and allows it to transform. Unlike Kakashi’s short hair and snakes, Obito’s hair is long. He hasn’t bothered to cut it since he was crushed, and his meter-long pitch-black snakes twist out into the air around them. Their scales glimmer with a blue tint in the sunlight.

“Oh,” Kakashi breathes. “Are they poisonous?” he asks

“No. I… I didn’t know that was even an option,” Obito stutters, “the fuck. Could I have accidently poisoned myself with my own hair if they were? Fuck. Are yours poisonous?”

“No,” he replies and finally breaks out of his daze. Unfortunately for Obito, he does so in order to laugh at his bewildered outrage. “You can’t poison yourself. Gorgons are always immune to their own poison. Although, if anyone could have managed to do so it would be you,” he teases.

“It’s not funny Bakashi,” he says.

“Of course not,” he says still laughing. “I’m just… really glad to see you,” Kakashi says. The laughter abruptly cuts off. “I really thought you were dead,” he murmurs.

“But I’m not,” Obito assures him, “Sorry I’m late.” His snakes are getting awfully friendly with Kakashi, flashing their little tongues to smell him and winding around his arms to slither up him.

Kakashi looks intently at him, soaking in his face and scars, before stepping even closer. His silver snakes rub against Obito’s own snakes and brush against his forehead. Obito stand perfectly still as he waits to see what he’ll do. Even his snakes, who often have minds of their own, go still.

Obito inhales sharply as their lips press together. He shivers as he eagerly allows Kakashi to deepen the kiss, and his snakes seem to spring suddenly back to life. They wind around Kakashi’s own silvery ones, and do their best to loop around his torso as well. When their lips finally break apart, Obito is flushed a gasping lightly. Their lips are still only centimeters apart, as the entwined serpents prevent them from stepping away from each other.

“Just one thing,” he says, “Were you born a gorgon? Your dad definitely wasn’t a gorgon. Oh my god, he really didn’t ever see your face.”

“Yes, I was born this way. My mother was a gorgon,” Kakashi says with fond exasperation, “Aren’t there bigger things we should be addressing?”

“Well, since I won’t be leaving again,” Obito says, “I imagine we’ll have plenty of time to get around to whatever it is you think is important to talk about. But I want you to explain how these cheeky snakes work.”

This certainly didn’t turn out to be the reunion Obito was expecting. Honestly it went way better. He’ll take it, copious unexpected revelations and all.

 Kakashi’s hair snakes are conception bank silver boas & Obito’s are northern black racers

[wyrm-wolf]

Rapunzel

Another day, another day. I still can't believed how overly excites I am getting about this event. Think you @thesilverqueenlady for making the event! Alone. That's how Will wanted to live out the rest of his life, just alone. No more FBI, no more Jack, no more dead bodies, and no more human contact. No, no, no, and most importantly, no. So that's why he left Wolftrap to find a new home, deep, deep in the woods. A place where no one could hear a person scream, okay wait that makes it sound like he's a killer, no, Will just wanted a place to relax, fix boat motors and play with his pack. Which he did of course, sure sometimes the nightmares would still linger, but he was most at peace then he had ever been. His pack had grown from only five to now adding onto nine dogs, who all loved and adored Will. Each week he would leave once a day, only to coke back with a large enough kill to last him and the dogs a week. He had started growing most of his vegetables, and cut down on a once a month shopping trip. People had stoped calling him, so he cut off electricity in his life, which was marvelous since he no longer had to worry about Jack showing up on his door one day. So when the day came that four weirdly robed people stood outside his door, he was not expecting a roommate to be added to his house. "I'm sorry, what did you just say?" "Will Graham, under the super vision of you I am putting this criminal in your custody, he will not harm you in anyway. We have already put ruins on this house so he cannot run away or use any powerful spells." The bald head leader said, which he thinks was called the Ancient One. Man, cosplayers are getting really weird lately. "And if I say no?" "You won't." Will sighed, knowing that they were probably right, so he stepped back and opened the door for them. "As long as he doesn't bother me, he can stay." The Ancient One then smiled, and motioned to the two men who were holding onto a single man to cone forward, they then threw the man in roughly to Will's house, where his dogs began to sniff and inspect him. "When will you come back for him?" Will asks turning to find that the strange robbed people are already gone, he groans closing the door to face the- "HOLY HELL!" Will finds himself being pressed against the door by the man who had been thrown in his house. The man growls at Will, grabbing his arms and throwing them over his head, before-did he just fucking sniff me? "Yup, this is completely normal, allowing some stranger in my house, who immediately starts sniffing me. Good job, Graham." He says to himself. Things could not get possibly worse as the man sniffs him like a dog, Will whimpers and stays still until the man is satisfied and releases him before stalking off into his house. Will falls to the ground, and groans into his hands. His dogs come up to him curious and a little scared as to what had just happened. "It's okay guys, we're just going to have some unwanted company...for awhile." He hopes. Instead of mulling over what to do with the unwanted guest, he gets up and begins to make dinner for himself and the dogs, and...for the stranger. Who he now needs to get a name from. After making a nice sandwich, and some soup, Will walks down the hall to find the stranger in an empty bedroom doing a ton of push ups. He stops in the middle of another push up, and looks at Will with a glare. "Hey, don't give me that look. I don't want you here either, so get over it. We're both in a loophole, so here, I made you some food. Eat it, or don't care." Will snaps, setting the food down. and leaving as quick as he can. Lord give hum strength. The next days are, to be put kindly, Hell. Will wakes up the next all but thinking the yesterdays events was just a bed dream, only to find the stranger doing pull ups on the door. He stares, because one, that man has a body of a God, and two, because who in there right kind exercises all day? He leaves the man to his...work, and makes himself a cup of coffee so he can scald his tongue and focus on that all day. Then spends the rest of his day ignoring the man, as he fix motors and plays with his dogs. It goes like that for a week, until Saturday arrives and Will's shoving his socked feet into his boots, and pulling on his gun. The man doesn't come out to check on him, since he's still brooding. Because that's exactly what with all that intense exercise, the man is definitely brooding over something like Barman would. Will goes out into the cool morning. and spends most of his morning hunting down a deer. Once he catches it, he drags the body back to his cabin where he'll proceed to cut it up, and skin it. Use everything it has to offer like a hunter would do in the ancient times. When he comes back he finds the house wrecked, furniture turned over, and the dogs are whimpering. "What...Hey!" He finds himself being enveloped by strong arms, and an elegant long nose pressing against his curls. The man is...crying. And then it clicks, his empathy reaches out to the man, and he feels his loneliness, and his fear that Will left him. He sighs, and let's the stranger hold him and comfort himself. "I wasn't going to leave you, if that's what you were thinking. I just needed to get some food, you know that thing we eat." Will says, when the man releases him. "You're going to have to clean up your mess though, because I am too tired to clean up." "Kaecilius...my name is Kaecilius." "Will. I'm Will." The strange robed man looks up at Will, like actually looks up from the grey locks of hair on his head and looks at Will. He has to gasp as the sight before him, because Kaecilius is a marvel to look at. With sharp, defined cheekbones that make him appear as a Greek statue, but the real interesting thing is his eyes. Yes, GIS eyes are something Will's never seen before, there a deep maroon but surrounding the eyes are a purple-blue hue of colors. Like a bruise that sparkles. "Wow. Do you have an eye disease? Man I hope it's not contagious." Will blurts out, Kaecilius frowns a little before laughing at him, and shaking his head. "Humans." "Excuse me, but if you have any complaints about my species then you can leave it at the door." After that the two begin to lighten up to each other. Will walks into the kitchen the next morning to find Kaecilius trying to figure out how the coffee maker works, he takes note how the man seemed to have cleaned himself up a bit. His hair had been brushed and pulled back into a ponytail, and his face looked cleanly shaven. "This contraption, how does it work? I see you make some black liquid with it every morning, and it smells awful yet delicious." Kaecilius scrutinized, rubbing the bottom of his chin. Will snorts, and presses a single button on the coffee maker. He watches as Kaecilius eye's brighten with interest when the machine starts to brew coffee. "It's called a coffee machine, and it makes coffee. One of the seven wonders humans had discovered in our conquest." "Interesting. Tell me more about this coffee." "Well, it has healing qualities that lifts the spirits of humans, and helps us work for hours on end in the morning, even when we had like three hours of sleep." Will explains, trying to hold back a smile. "It was gifted to us by an angel I'd the lord, after many years of sacrifices and war we had won, and he gifted us with coffee. Now it has become our sanctum." "Really?" "No, it's just a bean we ground up, and puts caffeine in our body which gets us moving. Wanna try some?" "I can see why not." Will watches as the man sniffs at the cup handed to him, before taking a sip and spitting it back out. He laughs, bending over and holding onto the counter so he doesn't fall. "This taste like shit, ugh, how do you drink this? Kudos to you for ruining your taste buds with this." Kaecilius says, snacking his lips as a way to get rid of the dull taste. "I may have forgotten to mention the little fact that coffee taste like crap, until you add sugar or sweetner to it." Will snickered passing the jar of sugar to Kaecilius. Kaecilius shakes hic head, and sets the coffee down. "I think I'll stick with tea." "Whatever. You're just missing out." Over the weeks spent loving together, and actually talking Will learns a great many things about Kaecilius, and where he's from. Even if it hurts his brain from processing the whole thing over, and over again until it clicks. Then comes the time where Kaecilius actually tells him why they placed him here, complaining how it was down right dumb of him to trap him here and he did nothing wrong. "Kaecilius, you tried to destroy the world, what do you mean you did nothing wrong. You did like the number one most wanted thing wrong, of course your going to get punished." Will tells him, laughing when the man scrunched his nose at him in distaste. "Yes, well when I escape from here, I'll make sure to make a space for you in ny world conquering for you and your dogs." "Aww, really? Kae, your going to soft on me." Will jokes pushing at the man's shoulder and laughing. "No, it's because I love you." "Wha-mhhhmmm." Kaecilius leans over and plants a nice warm kiss to Will's lips as they sit in the couch together, and when he pulls back, Will grabs at him and pulls him in for another kiss. The kiss, and kiss, and soon there moving into Will's room for a more private area. And when the morning comes, Will walks outside with a cup of coffee in one hand and a cup of tea in the other, as he watches Kaecilius do push ups in the freezing snow. Naked. Will stands there watching him, without even announcing his presence, but Kaecilius seems to notice him as he stops to look at him. "Something the matter, Will?" "Oh, no, don't mind me. I'm just enjoying the view, that's all." Kaecilius aborts, standing up and walking over to Will, planting a kiss on his forehead before taking the cup of tea to sip at. Will winks at him, and moves back inside of the house, because it's way too cols for a man only in a robe to be standing in. Of course, there is a downfall to their love story. Each day Kaecilius rest and grows stronger, soon practicing spells and forming ruins. And then the day comes when he breaks the ruins on the house, gives Will one last kiss, and just like that is gone. "I'll be back." He said, before opening up a portal and leaving. Will waits, and he waits and he waits. Each day he grows worried, and his heart aches. Falling back in step with the days where he lived his life alone, and happy. Now the absence only makes him sad and weary. It isn't until he's in town one day, and sees the news about some attack going on in New York. Dropping everything, he gets into his car and drives. Next thing he knows, he's running through a crowd of screaming pedestrians, and marching right up to where Kaecilius is fighting some blue robed man. "Kaecilius!" Will yells out, trying to get the man's attention. When he doesn't get so much as a glance towards his direction, he opens his mouth taking in a deep breath before yelling. "KAECILIUS, YOU BETTER GET YOU ARSE DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW, BEFORE I GO OVER TO YOU!!" Both strangely robed men look down at Will, before Kaecilius glances at the blue robed and flies down to Will. Marching over to him, and speaking. "Will you shouldn't be here, it's dangerous." He says, worry seeping out into his words. "Oh no, if you think you can just waltz into my life, and make yourself a home in my heart, then try and leave me for world domination. You are out of your mind." Will growls, crossing his arms over his chest and stomping his foot. "Now come on, we're going home right now." "I-" "No." "But-" "Ah!" "Will-" "Right now, Kaecilius. Say good bye to your arch-nemesis, because we are going HOME." Kaecilius's head drops and his shoulders slump, but he gives Will a nod. Turing back towards the blue robed man who has just landed next to them, and is staring confused at Will. "You were a good for, Mr. Doctor, bit it is time for me to return back game with my lover. Until next time." Kaecilius says, like he just didn't get his pride told by a puny human. "That's it? You're just going to give up like that, because some human told you?" "I'll have you know that I have been dealing with this man for the past couple months, and had to endure as much pain as anyone would with his sappy arse when he was first dropped off. But we got through things together, and fell in love." Will hissed, shoving a finger in the smirking man's face. "So if you think I'm some puny human, then put down the magic tricks, and come fight me like a human. Cause I assure you that I will kick your cape wearing arse." Kaecilius snickers from where he's standing as the blue robed man stares at Will with shock, and makes a incoherent sound when Will tugs Kaecilius down and kisses him. After that Will watches as Kaecilius makes a portal that leads straight into their home, and they walk through it, together. Back to the dark tower that had held them both from seeing the world, and where they will enjoy a long, non world dominating, life together. Hope you all enjoy Kaecilious, what a great man he is. Tomorrow is "Snow Queen" and what I have prepared might just break your heart, might

[biofunmy]

Get Ready for NASA’s First All-Female Spacewalk

It happened by accident, really. After a rocket launch aborted mid-flight, grounding two astronauts who were supposed to go to the International Space Station, NASA had to shift its schedule. Without thinking much of it, the agency announced that Christina Koch and Anne McClain — two women — would do the spacewalk instead, and just in time for Women’s History Month.

“First All-Woman Spacewalk,” celebratory headlines declared, only to turn critical when it was announced that, actually, the first all-woman spacewalk would not happen as planned, because NASA didn’t have enough spacesuits to fit the two female astronauts. (Both needed a size medium.) “Make another suit,” Hillary Clinton tweeted.

NASA did prepare another suit, and Ms. Koch and Jessica Meir will make history on Friday when they venture outside the International Space Station for a six-and-a-half-hour mission. It is the first all-woman spacewalk in more than five decades of spacewalking.

Jessica Bennett, The Times’ gender editor, and Mary Robinette Kowal, author of the “Lady Astronaut” book series, discussed the walk’s significance — along with spacesuit construction, menstruation in space and who’s really better at dealing with the stress of spaceflight.

Jessica Bennett: So these women are installing lithium-ion batteries to improve the station’s power supply. And then Ms. Koch will remain in orbit for a number of months, so that researchers can observe the effects of long-term spaceflight on a woman’s body. It’s fascinating to think that we just don’t know enough about the effects of spaceflight on a woman’s body.

Mary Robinette Kowal: It’s not surprising, given how few women have been in space. Of the more than 560 people who have been in space around the world, only 65 have been women. There are some things that we’ve learned from the ground, such as the fact that men and women have different sweat patterns. Men sweat more than comparably fit women, and the areas where they sweat the most occur in different parts of the body. On a spacewalk, the astronauts have to wear a cooling and ventilation garment to maintain their body temperature at a safe level, but it was designed for male bodies.

JB: So basically like how office temperatures are set at the temperature for men’s bodies. I’m shivering in my cubicle as I type this.

MRK: Exactly. The fictional “ideal man” is used to set chair heights, temperatures and even ladder rungs. But there are other questions, about things like vision, that can only be tested in space. Male astronauts go through a vision change over extended periods in microgravity. They get nearsighted, essentially. Women haven’t experienced the same change. We don’t know why.

JB: Speaking of bodily differences, I will never forget reading about how, as Sally Ride prepared to become the first American woman in space, in 1983, she was asked by male NASA engineers how many tampons she might need for a week. “Is 100 the right number?” they asked her. “No, that would not be the right number,” she told them. Can we agree that is a lot of tampons? Apparently they strung them together like sausages, tying their strings so they wouldn’t float away.

MRK: Can you imagine the bandolier of tampons floating around the cabin? They ended up cutting the number back to 50. To be fair, the engineers probably did some intelligent math by looking at tables of absorbency and average flow. However, if there had been any women on the team, they might have known to just ask her and then double that for redundancy.

JB: The agency also designed a makeup kit for Sally Ride, right?

MRK: Yup. Because of course a woman would need makeup in space! Sally Ride, in fact, did not want it. “It was about the last thing in the world that I wanted to be spending my time in training on,” she said in a 2002 interview.

JB: What happens when you try to put makeup on in space?

MRK: You can’t include powder, because it would float and become an eye irritant. So, you’ve got mascara, eyeliner, blush, eye shadow, eye-makeup remover and lip gloss.

JB: God forbid you go into space without lip gloss.

MRK: While Ride had no interest, Rhea Seddon was aware of how the media treated women without makeup. “If there would be pictures taken of me from space, I didn’t want to fade into the background,” she said. This time NASA asked the women astronauts to help them develop the kit.

JB: This is so fascinating, because this wasn’t just considered fluff — these were serious conversations happening at the time about whether women could and should be allowed in space. As I understand it, there’s a report from the 1960s that raised concerns about putting “a temperamental psychophysiologic human” (read: a hormonal woman) together with a “complicated machine” (the spacecraft). The authors of that same report also feared that microgravity might increase the incidence of “retrograde menstruation” — i.e., blood might flow the other way.

MRK: I would blame it on the 1960s, but honestly, there are people today who don’t understand how menstruation works. The irony is that the actual science parts of that study demonstrated that, in many ways, women are actually better suited than men for space travel. They are smaller and lighter, on average, and consume fewer resources.

JB: Women astronauts also handle stress better, is that right?

MRK: Yes. We know this because of a series of experiments conducted by Dr. W. Randolph Lovelace II with women who called themselves the “First Lady Astronaut Trainees.” The Air Force started the program, then worried that people might think they were actually going to send a woman into space. So they passed it off to Dr. Lovelace’s clinic. He ran a group of women pilots through the same tests he gave the male Mercury astronauts. Among other things, he found that they handled stress testing significantly better than men.

JB: This happened in 1960, and yet there is a famous 1962 NASA letter written to a young girl who was interested in becoming an astronaut, in which the agency explains that they have “no present plans to employ women on spaceflights” because of the training and “physical characteristics” required.

MRK: Well, by that point, they realized that they wouldn’t need receptionists and secretaries in space. Seriously. That was one of the reasons for the support of the initial testing.

JB: How much better did those women actually handle the stress?

MRK: Let’s compare John Glenn, the first American to orbit the Earth, with Jerrie Cobb, the first of the First Lady Astronaut Trainees. Glenn’s stress testing consisted of sitting in a dark room for three hours. There was a desk with some paper. He wrote poetry. Cobb and the other women went into a sensory deprivation tank. It was thought that six hours in the tank would induce hallucinations. Cobb was in there for 9 hours and 40 minutes when it was finally ended by the staff. But she didn’t write any poetry so … you know. One of the women in the FLATs was a mother of eight, and I always imagine her feeling like this was a vacation.

As a side note: For years, the Air Force thought women could not fly jets, because their ability to tolerate the high-gravity forces of acceleration seemed to be lower. It turns out the G-suits were built for male bodies and didn’t make contact in the right places for women. When they got suits that fit, miraculously, they performed as well.

JB: So that brings us back to spacesuit sizes. The earlier all-woman walk didn’t happen because both women needed a size medium torso. But of course, NASA didn’t have multiple mediums ready, because they simply hadn’t needed the size. Is it safe to say that spacesuits have been designed by and for men?

MRK: Certainly this generation of suit, but it’s important for people to understand how outdated these spacesuits are. The suits we’re talking about were designed in the late 1970s based on Apollo technology. Rhea Seddon, one of the first six astronauts, worked with NASA to create suits that would work for women. So they designed extra-small, small, medium, large, and extra large suits. The extra-smalls were never built. The smalls and extra-larges were cut for budget reasons. Men complained about not being able to fit, so NASA brought the extra-larges back. They never brought back the smalls.

These suits are modular, so you can swap out parts, but it’s a time-consuming process, never designed to be done in zero gravity. So when they decided to restaff the last spacewalk and postpone the all-female walk? That was absolutely the right choice.

JB: So do we think NASA might consider hiring a female spacesuit designer?

MRK: In fact, they have. The lead spacesuit engineers at NASA for the Artemis suits, which we’ll take to the moon, are Amy Ross and Kristine Davis. It’s a truly beautiful piece of engineering, with a back entry, which not only makes donning it easier but also means that the geometry of the shoulders allows for a wider range of motion.

One other thing I want to mention is that this spacewalk won’t truly be an all-woman team. The robotic arm will have to be driven by one of the men on the station. The spacewalk on Oct. 10 was the first time that women outnumbered the men. The coordinator on the ground was Stephanie Wilson, also an astronaut. Jessica Meir operated the robotic arm, and Christina Koch spacewalked with Andrew Morgan. He was the only man involved in the spacewalk.

NASA is working on having gender equity in the program. Currently they have 38 active astronauts and 12 of them are women. But it’s an international station. The other countries have only three active women astronauts.

JB: So in other words, let’s not call this a victory just yet.

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POLITICO Playbook: SHUTDOWN AVERTED, problems punted to the end of the month

POLITICO EUROPE’S CHARLIE COOPER — “The European Commission recommended to the European Council on Friday that ‘sufficient progress’ has been made in Brexit talks to allow negotiations to move on to Phase 2, which will cover trade and the U.K.’s future relationship with the EU.” http://politi.co/2AF1dGS … Read our very scoopy London Playbook, by Jack Blanchard http://politi.co/2yOKLTd

Good Friday morning. Senate Republicans passed a two-week government funding bill last night avoiding a government shutdown. Now all eyes are on Dec. 22 and whether President Donald Trump and congressional leadership can come to an agreement.

Story Continued Below

— THE TIMELINE: We hear Republicans want to have their tax bill finished and passed by Dec. 18, 19 or so. That leaves three days to get another government funding bill, which is expected to last sometime into early or mid January. The spending cap deal will also hit the floor that week in December, as well. Aides we talk to are pretty firm that DACA cannot and will not happen this year. But most Republicans seem eager to get that done in early January.

ONE INTERESTING AND IMPORTANT DYNAMIC — While House Democrats have toiled away in the minority, when it comes to government funding fights they have always been relevant because House Republicans haven’t been able to secure enough votes to pass stop-gap funding bills. That changed yesterday. Republicans stood together and passed the two-week bill without the help of Democrats.

WILL IT LAST? — Doubtful. Conservative Republicans aren’t eager to vote for whatever funding bill comes next — they’re already freaking out about the budget cap deal. They will put up more of a fight when it comes to a massive package to keep government funded through 2018.

THE LATEST ON THE FIRES – “Homes, horses burn in newest California wildfire,” by AP’s Elliot Spagat and Andrew Dalton in Fallbrook, California: “Retirement communities built on golf courses, semi-rural race horse stables and other usually serene sites were engulfed by flames as the San Diego area became the latest front in California’s wildfire fight. The fire broke out Thursday amid dry, hot, windy conditions across the region that would be extreme for any season, but are especially stunning just two weeks from winter. It exceeded 6 square miles (16 square kilometers) in a matter of hours and burned dozens of houses as it tore through the tightly packed Rancho Monserate Country Club community in the small city of Fallbrook, known for its avocado orchards and horse ranches. Three people were burned while escaping the flames.” http://bit.ly/2nI5V1Q

A1, NYT — SHANE GOLDMACHER, MAGGIE HABERMAN and KATE KELLY: “On Tax Bill, It’s Trump vs. His Hometown”: “While Mr. Trump has tried to sell the tax package as a giant tax break for all Americans, a different story is unfolding in New York and other high-tax, mostly Democratic states. The mayor of New York City, Bill de Blasio, has estimated that there could be tax increases for as many as 700,000 residents if the legislation is approved. Nearly half of households in surrounding suburban counties itemize their deductions — and stand to lose valuable write-offs of state and local taxes on their federal returns. …

“It is almost unimaginable that President George W. Bush would have championed a bill that would have harmed Texas relative to other states, or for President Barack Obama to have embraced legislation that took a particular bite out of his birth state, Hawaii, or adopted hometown, Chicago. …

“Some of the largest hedge-fund managers who operate in New York are also concerned about an element of the proposed legislation that prevents executives in certain financial-services companies from partaking of the new, lower pass-through rate — even if they are structured as partnerships. Their argument: that their treatment under that bill would drive the taxes for New York-based financial-service partnerships to 50 percent or more, driving business out of New York and into lower-tax states.

“This week, Kenneth C. Griffin, a major political donor and the founder of the hedge-fund company Citadel, which has its headquarters in Chicago but employs hundreds of people in New York, went to Washington to press that case, according to three people with knowledge of the travels. In discussions with lawmakers, Paul Singer, the founder of the hedge fund Elliott Management and one of the Republican Party’s most generous donors, made similar concerns known.” http://nyti.ms/2iGGSH8

FOR YOUR RADAR — ON THE GROUND IN ISRAEL — “Israel beefs up Jerusalem police force ahead of protests,” by AP’s Ilan Ben Zion in Jerusalem: “Israeli police deployed reinforcements in and around Jerusalem’s Old City on Friday, in anticipation of Palestinian protests over the Trump administration’s recognition of the contested city as the Israeli capital. Palestinian political groups have called for massive demonstrations in the West Bank, Gaza Strip and east Jerusalem after Friday prayers, the highlight of the Muslim religious week. Separately, the Gaza-based leader of the Islamic militant Hamas has agitated for a third uprising against Israel.” http://bit.ly/2j68rxn

CLEANING UP WASHINGTON — “Zinke booked government helicopters to attend D.C. events,” by Ben Lefebvre: “Interior Secretary Ryan Zinke spent more than $14,000 on government helicopters this summer to take himself and staff to and from official events near Washington, D.C., in order to accommodate his attendance at a swearing-in ceremony for his replacement in Congress and a horseback ride with Vice President Mike Pence, according to previously undisclosed official travel documents.

“In a case detailed in the new documents, Zinke ordered a U.S. Park Police helicopter to take him and his chief of staff, Scott Hommel, to an emergency management exercise in Shepherdstown, West Virginia, on June 21. Zinke’s staff justified the $8,000 flight by saying official business would prevent him leaving Washington before 2 p.m., too late to make the two-hour drive to the exercise, according to the documents. …

“Zinke also ordered a Park Police helicopter to fly him and another Interior official to and from Yorktown, Virginia, on July 7 in order to be back in Washington in time for a 4 p.m. horseback ride with Pence. The trip cost about $6,250, according to the documents.” http://politi.co/2BM7yhl

****** A message from PhRMA: A medicine’s path from the biopharmaceutical company to the patient involves many entities across the supply chain. A new report examines how money flows through this system – which includes wholesalers, pharmacy benefit managers, pharmacies and insurers – and how that impacts what patients pay at the pharmacy. Read more. http://onphr.ma/2kgd6Nu ******

SEXUAL HARASSMENT FILES — “Ethics Committee launches investigation into Farenthold sexual harassment allegations,” by Rachael Bade and John Bresnahan: “The House Ethics Committee launched an investigation into Rep. Blake Farenthold over allegations that he sexually harassed a former aide and then retaliated against her when she complained about it. The committee said new evidence in the matter, which was first reviewed in 2015, warranted an investigation. Earlier Thursday, the panel said it was seeking an interview with Lauren Greene, the former aide who says she was sexually harassed by the Texas Republican.

“Greene received an $84,000, taxpayer-funded settlement after she sued Farenthold in Dec. 2014 over allegations of gender discrimination, sexual harassment and creating a hostile work environment. Even though the Office of Congressional Ethics cleared Farenthold, the Ethics Committee has continued to look into the matter.” http://politi.co/2Be5SRw

— “Texas water board chairman Bech Bruun resigns ahead of likely challenge to U.S. Rep. Blake Farenthold,” by the Texas Tribune’s Cassandra Pollock: “Bech Bruun, chairman of the Texas Water Development Board, resigned Thursday from that position ahead of an anticipated bid to unseat U.S. Rep. Blake Farenthold, R-Corpus Christi. … Bruun is expected to file to run as a Republican for Texas’ 27th Congressional District as early as Friday.” http://bit.ly/2yOvkKI

–SPOTTED: Rep. Blake Farenthold (R-Texas) at the Chamber of Commerce holiday party yesterday evening. “He seemed like he was having a good time,” per our tipster. Another tipster said he was enjoying a corn dog.

— THE NEWEST: “Rep. Trent Franks to resign after discussing surrogacy with female staffers,” by Elena Schneider: “Rep. Trent Franks announced that he would resign from office as of Jan. 31, 2018, after discussing surrogacy issues with female staffers. ‘I have recently learned that the Ethics Committee is reviewing an inquiry regarding my discussion of surrogacy with two previous female subordinates, making each feel uncomfortable,’ he said in a statement. ‘I deeply regret that my discussion of this option and process in the workplace caused distress.’

“The Arizona Republican’s announcement shocked Capitol Hill. Franks has been a vocal social conservative since being elected to Congress in 2002, and has authored numerous anti-abortion legislation. He is married with twins. Franks is the third lawmaker to announce plans to resign this week as the furor over sexual harassment sweeps Capitol Hill. He will be the first Republican to vacate his post amid the growing scandal.” http://politi.co/2yOxMkq … Full text of Franks’ resignation letter http://bit.ly/2jwJnwn

INTERESTING VIEWING: Last night on the House floor before Franks’ resignation announcement we spotted him having a long conversation with North Carolina Republican Virginia Foxx. At one point she held his hand, appearing to console him. Afterward, Franks huddled with several House Freedom Caucus members, including Reps. Mark Meadows (N.C.), Jim Jordan (Ohio), Louie Gohmert (Texas), Robert Aderholt (Ala.) and Mark Walker (N.C.).

— “Sheriff Joe Arpaio Not Interested in Trent Franks’ Seat—but ‘Seriously, Seriously, Seriously’ Considering the U.S. Senate,” by Scott Bixby in the Daily Beast: “Former Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio has no interest in running for Rep. Trent Franks’ (R-AZ) soon-to-be vacated seat, he said on Thursday. Instead, the controversial lawman, who was recently pardoned by President Donald Trump, has his sights on a higher office. ‘I am seriously, seriously, seriously considering running for the U.S. Senate,’ Arpaio told The Daily Beast, ‘not the congressman’s seat.’” http://thebea.st/2j9V538

— “Democrat Kihuen hanging on despite harassment claim,” by Heather Caygle: “House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi won’t call for a primary challenger to take on Nevada Rep. Ruben Kihuen, despite saying the freshman Democrat should resign due to sexual harassment allegations. ‘This is not about politics. That’s the last thing this is about,’ Pelosi (D-Calif.) said Thursday in response to questions about Kihuen, who has refused demands from party leaders to step down.

“The Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee did not respond to requests for comment on whether it would fund a primary challenger against Kihuen. The campaign arm has, however, removed Kihuen from its ‘frontline’ program, which prioritizes funding for vulnerable members. But beyond those steps, Pelosi and other Democratic leaders have not maneuvered to force Kihuen out as they did with Rep. John Conyers (D-Mich.), who resigned Tuesday after a concerted behind-the-scenes effort. That could change, Democratic aides say, if more allegations crop up. The Congressional Hispanic Caucus is also divided on how to handle the issue.” http://politi.co/2AotfYw

— HUFFPOST’S YASHAR ALI: “Former Congressman Harold Ford Jr. Fired For Misconduct By Morgan Stanley”: http://bit.ly/2BJPCnm MSNBC is pulling Ford Jr. from programming as it investigates the allegations, which Ford denies. He’s threatening to sue Morgan Stanley and the accuser.

POLITICO MAGAZINE FRIDAY COVER – “Kirsten Gillibrand’s Moment Has Arrived: The New York senator has made sexual assault the focus of her political career. Now, the world has caught up with her,” by David Freedlander: http://politi.co/2Ao1Tle

ONE DOWN — “Ethics Committee clears Rep. Devin Nunes,” by Elana Schor: “The House Ethics Committee on Thursday cleared Rep. Devin Nunes (R-Calif.), chairman of the House Intelligence Committee, of allegations that he disclosed classified information earlier this year. Nunes was forced to step aside from the helm of the committee’s investigation into Russian meddling in the 2016 election, including alleged collusion with President Donald Trump’s allies, in the wake of his March statement that members of the Trump transition team had their communications legally monitored by the U.S. intelligence community.

“The Ethics Committee, however, announced Thursday that it would close its investigation following consultation with experts in the classification process, a step that resulted in the conclusion that any information Nunes shared was not classified.” http://politi.co/2k9350W

THE RUSSIA REPORT — “Previously undisclosed emails show follow-up after Trump Tower meeting,” by CNN’s Jim Sciutto, Manu Raju and Jeremy Herb: “The British publicist who arranged the June 2016 meeting with Russians and Donald Trump Jr. sent multiple emails to a Russian participant and a member of Donald Trump’s inner circle later that summer, multiple sources told CNN, the first indication there was any follow-up after the meeting. The emails raise new questions for congressional investigators about what was discussed at Trump Tower. Trump Jr. has for months contended that after being promised he would get dirt on Hillary Clinton, the brief meeting focused almost exclusively on the issue of Russian adoptions, saying there was no discussion with the participants after that session.

“The emails from the publicist, Rob Goldstone, were discovered by congressional investigators and raised at Wednesday’s classified hearing with Trump Jr., who said he could not recall the interactions, several sources said. None of the newly disclosed emails were sent directly to Trump Jr. They are bound to be a subject during Goldstone’s closed-door meetings with the House and Senate intelligence panels, which are expected to take place as early as next week.” http://cnn.it/2B3rVKd

— “Russian social media executive sought to help Trump campaign in 2016, emails show,” by WaPo’s Ros Helderman, Anton Troianovski and Tom Hamburger: “An executive at a leading Russian social media company made several overtures to Donald Trump’s presidential campaign in 2016 — including days before the November election — urging the candidate to create a page on the website to appeal to Russian Americans and Russians. The executive at Vkontakte, or VK, Russia’s equivalent to Facebook, emailed Donald Trump Jr. and social media director Dan Scavino in January and again in November of last year, offering to help promote Trump’s campaign to its nearly 100 million users, according to people familiar with the messages.” http://wapo.st/2kFx0ln

— “Manafort attorney: Op-ed published to ‘correct the public record’ in Ukraine,” by Darren Samuelsohn: “Paul Manafort’s attorney swung back at special Russia prosecutor Robert Mueller Thursday over accusations the former Donald Trump campaign chairman violated a court gag order by ghost-writing an op-ed about his work in Ukraine. The article was not intended for a U.S. audience or to influence the pending U.S. criminal case against Manafort, who’s pleaded not guilty to multiple charges including fraud and money laundering, argued lawyer Kevin Downing.

“‘All he has tried to do is to correct the public record in Ukraine concerning his consulting activities in Ukraine,’ Downing wrote in his six-page brief to the U.S. District Court for the District of Columbia. The nearly 800-word article was published online earlier Thursday by the Kyiv Post, an English-language newspaper based in Ukraine, under the byline of Oleg Voloshin, a former spokesman for Ukraine’s Ministry of Foreign Affairs.” http://politi.co/2j5K03k

LAST SHOT IN ALABAMA — “How to beat Roy Moore, according to the guy who nearly did,” by Daniel Strauss: “Democrats haven’t won a statewide election in Alabama in almost a decade. But in 2012, one Democrat almost pulled it off: Bob Vance, a mild-mannered circuit court judge from Birmingham, who came within 4 points of beating none other than Roy Moore Now Democrats are looking back at that state Supreme Court contest for clues on how their Senate nominee, former U.S. attorney Doug Jones, might improve slightly upon Vance’s performance and stage a special election upset in a state long seen as out of reach to the party

“In an interview with POLITICO, Vance described how he almost toppled Moore five years ago: by combining strong turnout from African-Americans energized by President Barack Obama’s reelection campaign with aggressive outreach to what he called ‘reasonable conservatives’ put off by Moore’s hard-line politics — outreach that was unusually successful in Alabama’s most-educated suburbs, according to a POLITICO analysis of the 2012 returns.” http://politi.co/2yOfpfv

STICKING AROUND? — “Hatch hosting re-election fundraiser in January,” by CNN’s Maeve Reston: “Utah Sen. Orrin Hatch is hosting a re-election fundraiser in early January, according to an invitation obtained by CNN, stoking further intrigue about a Senate seat that’s being eyed by Mitt Romney. Hatch is inviting donors to his eighth annual ski retreat January 5-6 at the posh St. Regis Hotel in Park City, Utah. The suggested donation for the family pass for couples with children is $5,000 to The Hatch Election Committee. A $3,500 donation to the PAC is requested for two passes.” http://cnn.it/2yOwu92

TRUMP’S FRIDAY — The president will have lunch with VP Mike Pence and later this afternoon meet with Defense Secretary James Mattis. He is flying to Pensacola, Florida to participate in a “Make America Great Again” rally. Afterward, he will head to West Palm Beach.

HOLIDAY-SEASON SNUB — “Congressional Democrats Left Out of White House Hanukkah Party,” by NYT’s Julie Hirschfeld Davis: “Mr. Trump, who prizes loyalty and seldom forgets a slight, left Democratic members of Congress off his Hanukkah list this year, according to congressional aides tracking the invites. He also did not invite Reform Jewish leaders who have been critical of him or progressive Jewish activists who have differed with him publicly on policy issues. …

“Representatives Lee Zeldin of New York and David Kustoff of Tennessee, the two Jewish Republicans in Congress, were attending the party, their offices said. But Jewish Democrats left off the invite list — many of whom have been harsh critics of Mr. Trump — were not in a festive mood. …

“‘I am not aware of the political affiliation of any of the guests, but I do know that this year was meant to be more personal than political,’ said Stephanie Grisham, a spokeswoman for Melania Trump, the first lady, whose office oversees White House party planning. She declined to elaborate.” http://nyti.ms/2iE2FPG

— HOW THE REST OF WASHINGTON ACTS. Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultz (D-Fla.) is hosting a Hanukkah party with Zeldin, a New York Republican, and has invited lawmakers and … wait for it … some reporters!

SPOTTED last night at the White House Hanukkah party (the lamb and latkes were a hit): Jared Kushner and Ivanka Trump, Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin and Louise Linton, VA Secretary David Shulkin, Israeli Amb. Ron Dermer, Jason Greenblatt, Gary and Lisa Pevaroff-Cohn, Justice Stephen Breyer, Rabbi Shmuley Boteach, Josh Raffel, Michael Cohen and his wife, Sheldon and Miriam Adelson, Elliott Broidy, former Sen. Norm Coleman (R-Minn.), Jeremy Katz, Eli Miller, Avi Berkowitz, Julia Hahn, Cassidy Dumbauld, Joe Hagin, Boris Epshteyn, Matt Brooks and Josh Mandel.

SPOTTED: Michael Cohen on the Acela from NY to D.C. yesterday. He was heading to the WH Hanukkah party, where he took his wife, son and daughter.

SPOTTED at America First Action’s Hanukkah party — co-hosted by the RJC at the Trump Hotel: Reps. Lee Zeldin (R-N.Y.), David Kustoff (R-Tenn.), Ed Royce (R-Calif.), Don Bacon (R-Neb.), Raul Labrador (R-Idaho), Claudia Tenney (R-N.Y.), Brian Mast (R-Fla.), Mike Gallagher (R-Wis.), Scott Taylor (R-Va.), and Joe Wilson (R-S.C.), Ohio State Treasurer Josh Mandel, Norm Coleman, Matt Brooks, Brian O. and Natasha Walsh, Corey Lewandowski, David Bossie, Sheriff David Clarke and Katrina Pierson.

QUOTE OF THE DAY — @Olivianuzzi: “Melania Trump, who loves being the First Lady, said today she would like to spend the holidays ‘on a deserted island,’ per pool report”.

ON DAVID BROOKS’ MIND, NYT, “The G.O.P. Is Rotting”: “The Republican Party is doing harm to every cause it purports to serve. If Republicans accept Roy Moore as a United States senator, they may, for a couple years, have one more vote for a justice or a tax cut, but they will have made their party loathsome for an entire generation. The pro-life cause will be forever associated with moral hypocrisy on an epic scale. The word ‘evangelical’ is already being discredited for an entire generation. Young people and people of color look at the Trump-Moore G.O.P. and they are repulsed, maybe forever.” http://nyti.ms/2AnTGh2

–ROMNEY VS. BANNON — George Romney, the brother of RNC chairman Ronna Romney McDaniel and grandson of the late Michigan Gov. George Romney, posts on Facebook: “I heard that Steve Bannon knocked my Uncle Mitt and my entire family including my grandfather, my father, my brothers, my cousins including all five of Mitt’s sons, and me for serving religious missions instead of serving in the military. News flash Stevo, if you are saying that you are dishonorable for not serving in the military you are insulting most of the people you were speaking to at that rally. You were also insulting those who serve in the military that fight for our religious freedoms. Serving a religious mission is a much more honorable activity than molesting a 14 year old girl, or supporting someone who did. Supporting a conservative child molester is not conservative.” See a screenshot of the post http://bit.ly/2iD5znG

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU — Last night’s debut of the Politico Playbook Live Audio Briefing was a huge success. We’ll release the audio on our feeds (Apple Podcasts http://apple.co/2uK0bDc … Stitcher http://bit.ly/2BTyvQZ) tomorrow! Pic of Anna, Jake and NYT’s Michael Barbaro http://bit.ly/2k8kAyk

ERIK PRINCE UPDATE — “Private War: Erik Prince Has His Eye On Afghanistan’s Rare Metals,” by BuzzFeed’s Aram Roston: “BuzzFeed News is publishing the slide presentation by the founder of Blackwater to privatize the Afghan war and mine Afghanistan’s valuable minerals. He pitched the proposal to the Trump administration. Prince told BuzzFeed News, ‘You’re a f***ing hack.’” http://bzfd.it/2AmQxhk

JOE HAGIN PROFILE – “This is the White House wise man Trump’s detractors are counting on,” by McClatchy’s Katie Glueck: “Around 2 P.M. on the afternoon before Donald Trump’s inauguration, Hillary Clinton’s longtime aide and gatekeeper Philippe Reines was sitting on a couch in his Georgetown condo, still in pajamas, absorbing the new reality of the Trump presidency. Reines had stayed home from his consulting firm that day, still deeply shaken by Clinton’s loss two months before. But as he watched televised scenes of the president-elect’s team assembling in Washington, Reines glimpsed the one incoming Trump staffer who could offer a glimmer of relief. ‘I recognized Joe Hagin, and immediately had a feeling of, well, at least that’s one person to say thank God about,’ Reines told McClatchy.

“‘In my mind, Joe Hagin is the first line of defense in avoiding nuclear Armageddon. I think if it ever got that far, Joe Hagin might save the world.’ Hagin, deputy chief of staff for operations in the White House, is the rare, perhaps singular person in Trump’s orbit who commands near-universal respect and even gratitude from across the ideological spectrum. He is widely seen as a steadying hand in an administration that has struggled with investigations, inexperience and infighting.” http://bit.ly/2BYGTic

****** A message from PhRMA: A medicine’s path from the biopharmaceutical company to the patient involves many entities across the supply chain. A new report examines how money flows through this system – which includes wholesalers, pharmacy benefit managers, pharmacies and insurers – and how that impacts what patients pay at the pharmacy. Read more. http://onphr.ma/2kgd6Nu ******

THE BOOK DEAL — “2 Times Reporters Will Write Book on Sexual Abuse Scandals,” by NYT’s Maggie Astor: “The New York Times reporters Jodi Kantor and Megan Twohey will publish a book about the sexual abuse and harassment scandals that have convulsed the nation over the past two months, Penguin Press confirmed on Thursday.

“‘In this moment of attack on their profession, Jodi Kantor and Megan Twohey’s investigative reporting on sexual harassment has proven that the discipline, craft and ethics of journalism can truly spark social change,’ Ann Godoff, president and editor in chief of Penguin Press, an imprint of Penguin Random House, said in a statement. ‘Their book will contextualize and enlarge this important conversation.’” http://nyti.ms/2nI1sMC

MEDIAWATCH – PER MORNING MEDIA: “ASSOCIATED PRESS LEAVES NATIONAL ELECTION POOL: The news agency confirmed to Morning Media that it has left the consortium of major networks that share expenses and the results of exit polls used on election night. … The AP quietly left the consortium a few months ago, but its departure had not been previously reported. Fox left the network election group in April over frustrations with 2016 election night polls.”

–DATA DU JOUR — NYT’s Ken Vogel: Brent “Bozell’s Media Research Center … has raised $87 million over the last half dozen years.” http://nyti.ms/2AY74YB

SPOTTED: EPA Administrator Scott Pruitt taking his staff out to Le Diplomate last night

THE CAFE MILANO CROWD, last night — Newt and Callista Gingrich … Gary Cohn and Lisa Pevaroff-Cohn

SPOTTED at the Trump Hotel last night at a book party for Corey Lewandowski and David Bossie’s book “Let Trump Be Trump: The Inside Story of His Rise to the Presidency” — $16.20 on Amazon http://amzn.to/2B26EQY: Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin and Louise Linton, Newt and Ambassador Callista Gingrich, Sheriff David Clarke, Kellyanne Conway, Heather Nauert, Reps. Steve King (R-Iowa), Mark Meadows (R-N.C.), Louie Gohmert (R-Texas), Roger Williams (R-Texas), Ron DeSantis (R-Fla.), and Billy Long (R-Mo.), Brian Darling, Peter Doocy, Jon Allen, Kevin Cirilli, Chris Ruddy, Alexandra Preate, Eli Miller, Amy Holmes, Toby Harnden, Amanda House, Charlie Spiering, John Coale, Katrina Pierson, Ed Henry, Sam Stein, Lachlan Markay, Andy Surabian, Ned Ryun, Rob Wasinger, Natalie Davis, Mike Rubino, James Reed, Ralph Reed, Jim Gilmore, Jon Karl, John Roberts, Eric Bolling, Kayleigh McEnany, Josh Dawsey, Jen Jacobs, Sergio Gor, Hadas Gold, Cherie Paquette, Robert Draper, Jackie Alemany, Kylie Atwood, Ali Dukakis, Major Garrett, Kathleen Parker, Bill Bennett.

SUNDAY SO FAR – CBS’ “Face The Nation”: Sen. Susan Collins (R-Maine). Political panel: Molly Ball, Margaret Brennan, Lanhee Chen and Ed O’Keefe

–“Fox News Sunday”: Rep. Jim Jordan (R-Ohio) … Rep. Barbara Comstock (R-Va.) … Panel: Newt Gingrich, Rachael Bade, Mike Needham, Charles Lane

–NBC’s “Meet the Press”: Panel: Cornell Belcher, David Brooks, Hallie Jackson, Peggy Noonan

–CNN’s “State of the Union”: Panel: Amanda Carpenter, Bakari Sellers, Nina Turner, Marc Lotter

–CNN’s “Inside Politics” (guest host: Nia-Malika Henderson): Eliana Johnson, Manu Raju, Sara Murray, Matt Viser

BIRTHDAYS OF THE DAY: Judd Legum, editor-in-chief of ThinkProgress, celebrating with his “wife and my 5-year-old, Mo. We’ll probably play some Monopoly Jr. or Legos.” How he thinks the Trump presidency is going: “It’s been going for 321 days. Every day is a long day.” Read his Playbook Plus Q&A: http://politi.co/2nHEvcs … WaPo publicist Brooke Lorenz. A fun fact about Brooke: “I’m conversational in American Sign Language. If ‘Party In The USA’ comes on, there’s a strong possibility I’ll break out a performance of the sign language version.” Q&A: http://politi.co/2BMzYaP

BIRTHDAYS: Rachel Sklar … Lizzie O’Leary, host of Marketplace Weekend (hat tips: Ben Chang) … Marc Burstein, senior executive producer at ABC News … Jordan Morrell … World Bank President Jim Yong Kim is 58 … Ann Coulter is 56 … AP’s Pablo Martinez Monsivais … Honey Sharp (h/t son Daniel Lippman) … ThinkProgress editor Judd Legum … Politico’s Danica Stanciu … Ginny Badanes, strategic advisor for Campaign Tech Services at Microsoft … Brie Sachse, head of Siemens USA’s public affairs … Cayman Clevenger … The Guardian’s Sabrina Siddiqui … Stephen Spaulding, chief of strategy and external affairs at Common Cause … Nick Colvin, general counsel and senior adviser to the Chicago City Treasurer … Steve Bouchard (h/t Jon Haber) … P. Lynn Scarlett …

… Rep. Raul Labrador (R-Idaho) is 5-0 … former Rep. Duke Cunningham (R-Calif.) is 76 … NYCLU executive director Donna Lieberman … Sylvester Okere … Elyse Perlmutter-Gumbiner, NBC News’ new White House producer (h/t Olivia Petersen) … Al Williams is 68 … Mark Zavatsky is 53 … Michael Shapiro … M. Dolon Hickmon … Courtney Johnson … Luis Rosero, an Obama HHS alum … Karen Keller, director of special events and protocol at the Smithsonian … B.R. McConnon of DDC … Emily Leaman … Solange Uwimana … Alison Matarazzo Edwards … Jen Minton … Anna Waterfield … Tom Bush … FTI Consulting’s Sarah Mann … Courtney O’Neal … Austin James … Jeff Neubauer, proud father of Greta Neubauer running for the open assembly seat in Racine, Wis. … Steve Day … Jackie Gran … Milwaukee mayor Tom Barrett … Nancy Balz (h/ts Teresa Vilmain)

****** A message from PhRMA: In the competitive marketplace for medicines, negotiations between pharmacy benefit managers (PBMs) and biopharmaceutical companies result in substantial rebates and fees. According to a new report, in many cases, this system often creates incentives for PBMs to prefer medicines with higher list prices and higher rebates. Read more about how money flows through the supply chain here: http://onphr.ma/2kgd6Nu ******

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from CapitalistHQ.com https://capitalisthq.com/politico-playbook-shutdown-averted-problems-punted-to-the-end-of-the-month/

[nancy-astorga]

‘The dogma lives loudly within you’: The battle over Trump’s effort to remake the courts in his image is starting to heat up

A whole heck of a lot happened this week in President Donald Trump’s quest to reshape the federal judiciary.

The ongoing effort turned particularly hot this week as Democratic senators moved to block two of his circuit court nominations while two of his other nominees to top courts were grilled during a Capitol Hill hearing.

That hearing was followed up by Trump announcing his seventh wave of judicial nominees, an additional 15 names that are about to be submitted to the Senate, bringing the total number of district and circuit court judges he’s nominated to roughly 50 — blowing far past the number of judicial nominations made at this stage of a presidency by any recent predecessors. That’s in part due to the massive number of vacancies in the federal judiciary, which has swelled past 140.

With all of those vacancies, “if we don’t have an increased pace of confirmation, it’s just totally unsustainable,” Carrie Severino, the chief counsel of the Judicial Crisis Network, a group that has gone to bat to defend Trump’s nominees with large ad buys.

But the week began with one of those possible confirmations getting shut down before the candidate could even get the process, essentially, off the ground.

Democratic Sen. Al Franken of Minnesota on Tuesday refused to sign off on Trump’s nomination of Minnesota Supreme Court Judge David Stras for a vacancy on the 8th US Circuit Court of Appeals. Franken said he could not support Stras, nominated by Trump in March, and would not be returning a blue slip to the Senate Judiciary Committee.

That “blue slip” process is Senate tradition in which senators are able to give or withhold their blessing for a judicial nomination from their state. While not entirely uncommon for senators to deny a blue slip — several of President Barack Obama’s judicial nominees met the same fate — Franken’s move was just the first of three refusals from Democratic senators this week.

On Thursday, Sens. Jeff Merkley and Ron Wyden of Oregon announced that they will block a judicial nominee for the 9th US Circuit Court of Appeals who had been announced as Trump’s pick just earlier that day. The duo said in a letter to the White House that they would not be providing blue slips for Ryan Bounds, an assistant US attorney in Oregon, because he had not been approved by a bipartisan judicial selection committee in their state.

“Unfortunately, it is now apparent that you never intended to allow our longstanding process to play out,” the Democratic senators wrote to White House counsel Donald McGahn in the letter, obtained by Politico. The pair later added, “The judicial selection process is not a rubber stamp, and the insinuation that our offices were purposely delaying the process is an indication of the partisanship with which you are pursuing this nomination.”

Franken, Merkley, and Wyden’s moves to refuse blue slips emphasized what is the biggest roadblock for Trump as he tries to remake the courts — landing Democratic support for his judicial nominees in the roughly 30 states with at least one Democratic senator. While his nominees have received blue slips from Democratic senators in Colorado, Michigan, and Indiana, Trump has mostly avoided naming judicial nominees for district and circuit courts from states represented by at least one Democrat.

While the denial of a blue slip does not legally restrict a judge from being approved, Glenn Sugameli, an attorney who is an expert on judicial nominations, told Business Insider in an email earlier this week that “no circuit court nominees have been confirmed over objection of one (or two) home state senators — including under Obama.”

Roughly 80% of his nearly 50 nominations to such courts are from states that are represented by two Republican senators. Just five nominees hail from states with two Democratic senators.

At the same point in his presidency back in 2009, Obama had nominated nine people for vacant district court seats and seven candidates for circuit court openings. Of those, 56% were from states represented by two Democratic senators — meaning 44% faced the scrutiny of at least one member of the opposition party before they could be advanced in the Senate.

The intent of the blue-slip process is to have a more bipartisan consensus on judges who will serve in or represent a senator’s home state when the president is of the opposition party, encouraging communication between the White House and home-state senators before a nomination.

Some conservatives were angered by the trio of Democratic senators moving to block the nominees. Severino said the practice “is not something” Democrats “can be allowed to abuse,” adding that it is not longstanding tradition for the refusal of a blue slip to mean a nominee cannot move forward.

Democrats “are trying to create a filibuster of one,” she added.

The blue slip refusal by a home-state senator is virtually all the leverage Democrats have in the process, with Republicans controlling the majority in the Senate. Republicans need just a simple 51-vote total to confirm a judicial nominee after the filibuster on lower-level court judicial nominees was killed by Democrats when they last controlled the Senate in an effort to help move along some of Obama’s nominees more quickly.

Carl Tobias, a University of Richmond professor and expert on judicial nominations, said that when it comes to a discussion of the blue-slip process, there’s a “double standard” that is “inappropriate.”

“If you look back at the last eight years of what Republican senators did, there is plenty of bad behavior which is much worse than what Franken did the other day,” Tobias said hours before the Oregon senators announced their intention to block Trump’s nominee to the 9th Circuit. “I don’t think the Republicans have a lot to complain about.”

But he added that “there is going to be a lot of pressure on” Senate Judiciary Committee chairman Chuck Grassley “to change the blue-slip policy.”

The blocking of two Trump nominees superseded what was an uncommonly stacked hearing before Grassley’s committee this week. The hearing featured two of Trump’s circuit court nominees, two district court nominees, and a nominee to be assistant attorney general.

It also featured a few fireworks. 7th US Circuit Court of Appeals nominee Amy Coney Barrett, a Notre Dame law professor, was questioned intensely about her Catholic faith as a result of past writings expressing her beliefs on whether Catholic judges should recuse themselves from death-penalty cases if they believed they would be unable to impartially uphold the law, writing that — in limited situations — judges should step back in cases that conflict with their personal conscience.

Barrett did make clear in the paper that “judges cannot — nor should they try to — align our legal system with the Church’s moral teaching whenever the two diverge.”

The relationship between views on the death penalty and abortion — both issues in which Catholic teachings and US law are not in alignment — were zeroed in on by the panel.

Sen. Dianne Feinstein of California, the Judiciary Committee’s top-ranking Democrat, said Barrett’s nomination was “controversial.”

“When you read your speeches, the conclusion one draws is that the dogma lives loudly within you, and that’s of concern when you come to big issues that large numbers of people have fought for, for years in this country,” Feinstein said.

Barrett, for her part, said she would “never impose my own personal convictions on the law.”

Severino, the chief counsel of the conservative Judicial Crisis Network, called Feinstein’s line of questioning “anti-Catholic” and “wrongheaded on so many levels,” adding that there are “no religious tests” for such positions in the US.

Tobias said he did not believe the hearing went particularly well, noting that he thought some questions were “close to the line, especially about religion.”

He also took issue with the size of the hearing, adding that Michigan Supreme Court Judge Joan Larsen, nominated for the 6th US Circuit Court of Appeals, “got off fairly easy” with Barrett taking most of the heat.

Tobias was critical of Grassley’s scheduling of the hearing, saying that having so many nominees come before it at once is “overloading” the committee, which in turn causes the hearings to “become meaningless.”

Grassley addressed the controversy ahead of the hearing in a statement, saying that the large contingency was a result of having lost a hearing in August.

“Of course, I aim to be fair in the process and made sure the other side had ample time to review these nominees’ qualifications,” Grassley said. “We’ve had Professor Barrett’s materials for 120 days and Justice Larsen’s materials for 96 days. I believe this is more than enough time to thoroughly review these nominees’ materials.”

He said it’s “nothing new” to hold a hearing with multiple circuit court nominees, something Tobias disputed and said the Republicans were underselling. The professor said it happened only a handful of times during Obama’s time in office, and only then with the Republican minority on board.

The wild week is almost certain to see similar iterations in the coming weeks and months with Trump’s impressive number of early nominations to the federal bench.

As Severino said, part of the reason Trump has sought to move so quickly is because of the sheer number of vacancies. But another is a result of the focus on the judiciary in the past election, with the outsized campaign around replacing Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia particularly sticking out.

“This election was more about the courts than any in my memory,” she said.

SEE ALSO: A Democratic senator’s obscure move highlights the biggest roadblock Trump faces in his quest to remake the courts

Join the conversation about this story »

NOW WATCH: Putin says Trump is not his bride and claims Americans don’t know the difference between Austria and Australia

[alanafsmith]

'The dogma lives loudly within you': The battle over Trump's effort to remake the courts in his image is starting to heat up

A whole heck of a lot happened this week in President Donald Trump's quest to reshape the federal judiciary.

The ongoing effort turned particularly hot this week as Democratic senators moved to block two of his circuit court nominations while two of his other nominees to top courts were grilled during a Capitol Hill hearing.

That hearing was followed up by Trump announcing his seventh wave of judicial nominees, an additional 15 names that are about to be submitted to the Senate, bringing the total number of district and circuit court judges he's nominated to roughly 50 — blowing far past the number of judicial nominations made at this stage of a presidency by any recent predecessors. That's in part due to the massive number of vacancies in the federal judiciary, which has swelled past 140.

With all of those vacancies, "if we don't have an increased pace of confirmation, it's just totally unsustainable," Carrie Severino, the chief counsel of the Judicial Crisis Network, a group that has gone to bat to defend Trump's nominees with large ad buys.

But the week began with one of those possible confirmations getting shut down before the candidate could even get the process, essentially, off the ground.

Democratic Sen. Al Franken of Minnesota on Tuesday refused to sign off on Trump's nomination of Minnesota Supreme Court Judge David Stras for a vacancy on the 8th US Circuit Court of Appeals. Franken said he could not support Stras, nominated by Trump in March, and would not be returning a blue slip to the Senate Judiciary Committee.

That "blue slip" process is Senate tradition in which senators are able to give or withhold their blessing for a judicial nomination from their state. While not entirely uncommon for senators to deny a blue slip — several of President Barack Obama's judicial nominees met the same fate — Franken's move was just the first of three refusals from Democratic senators this week.

On Thursday, Sens. Jeff Merkley and Ron Wyden of Oregon announced that they will block a judicial nominee for the 9th US Circuit Court of Appeals who had been announced as Trump's pick just earlier that day. The duo said in a letter to the White House that they would not be providing blue slips for Ryan Bounds, an assistant US attorney in Oregon, because he had not been approved by a bipartisan judicial selection committee in their state.

"Unfortunately, it is now apparent that you never intended to allow our longstanding process to play out," the Democratic senators wrote to White House counsel Donald McGahn in the letter, obtained by Politico. The pair later added, "The judicial selection process is not a rubber stamp, and the insinuation that our offices were purposely delaying the process is an indication of the partisanship with which you are pursuing this nomination."

Franken, Merkley, and Wyden's moves to refuse blue slips emphasized what is the biggest roadblock for Trump as he tries to remake the courts — landing Democratic support for his judicial nominees in the roughly 30 states with at least one Democratic senator. While his nominees have received blue slips from Democratic senators in Colorado, Michigan, and Indiana, Trump has mostly avoided naming judicial nominees for district and circuit courts from states represented by at least one Democrat.

While the denial of a blue slip does not legally restrict a judge from being approved, Glenn Sugameli, an attorney who is an expert on judicial nominations, told Business Insider in an email earlier this week that "no circuit court nominees have been confirmed over objection of one (or two) home state senators — including under Obama."

Roughly 80% of his nearly 50 nominations to such courts are from states that are represented by two Republican senators. Just five nominees hail from states with two Democratic senators.

At the same point in his presidency back in 2009, Obama had nominated nine people for vacant district court seats and seven candidates for circuit court openings. Of those, 56% were from states represented by two Democratic senators — meaning 44% faced the scrutiny of at least one member of the opposition party before they could be advanced in the Senate.

The intent of the blue-slip process is to have a more bipartisan consensus on judges who will serve in or represent a senator's home state when the president is of the opposition party, encouraging communication between the White House and home-state senators before a nomination.

Some conservatives were angered by the trio of Democratic senators moving to block the nominees. Severino said the practice "is not something" Democrats "can be allowed to abuse," adding that it is not longstanding tradition for the refusal of a blue slip to mean a nominee cannot move forward.

Democrats "are trying to create a filibuster of one," she added.

The blue slip refusal by a home-state senator is virtually all the leverage Democrats have in the process, with Republicans controlling the majority in the Senate. Republicans need just a simple 51-vote total to confirm a judicial nominee after the filibuster on lower-level court judicial nominees was killed by Democrats when they last controlled the Senate in an effort to help move along some of Obama's nominees more quickly.

Carl Tobias, a University of Richmond professor and expert on judicial nominations, said that when it comes to a discussion of the blue-slip process, there's a "double standard" that is "inappropriate."

"If you look back at the last eight years of what Republican senators did, there is plenty of bad behavior which is much worse than what Franken did the other day," Tobias said hours before the Oregon senators announced their intention to block Trump's nominee to the 9th Circuit. "I don't think the Republicans have a lot to complain about."

But he added that "there is going to be a lot of pressure on" Senate Judiciary Committee chairman Chuck Grassley "to change the blue-slip policy."

The blocking of two Trump nominees superseded what was an uncommonly stacked hearing before Grassley's committee this week. The hearing featured two of Trump's circuit court nominees, two district court nominees, and a nominee to be assistant attorney general.

It also featured a few fireworks. 7th US Circuit Court of Appeals nominee Amy Coney Barrett, a Notre Dame law professor, was questioned intensely about her Catholic faith as a result of past writings expressing her beliefs on whether Catholic judges should recuse themselves from death-penalty cases if they believed they would be unable to impartially uphold the law, writing that — in limited situations — judges should step back in cases that conflict with their personal conscience.

Barrett did make clear in the paper that "judges cannot — nor should they try to — align our legal system with the Church’s moral teaching whenever the two diverge."

The relationship between views on the death penalty and abortion — both issues in which Catholic teachings and US law are not in alignment — were zeroed in on by the panel.

Sen. Dianne Feinstein of California, the Judiciary Committee's top-ranking Democrat, said Barrett's nomination was "controversial."

"When you read your speeches, the conclusion one draws is that the dogma lives loudly within you, and that's of concern when you come to big issues that large numbers of people have fought for, for years in this country," Feinstein said.

Barrett, for her part, said she would "never impose my own personal convictions on the law."

Severino, the chief counsel of the conservative Judicial Crisis Network, called Feinstein's line of questioning "anti-Catholic" and "wrongheaded on so many levels," adding that there are "no religious tests" for such positions in the US.

Tobias said he did not believe the hearing went particularly well, noting that he thought some questions were "close to the line, especially about religion."

He also took issue with the size of the hearing, adding that Michigan Supreme Court Judge Joan Larsen, nominated for the 6th US Circuit Court of Appeals, "got off fairly easy" with Barrett taking most of the heat.

Tobias was critical of Grassley's scheduling of the hearing, saying that having so many nominees come before it at once is "overloading" the committee, which in turn causes the hearings to "become meaningless."

Grassley addressed the controversy ahead of the hearing in a statement, saying that the large contingency was a result of having lost a hearing in August.

"Of course, I aim to be fair in the process and made sure the other side had ample time to review these nominees’ qualifications," Grassley said. "We've had Professor Barrett's materials for 120 days and Justice Larsen's materials for 96 days. I believe this is more than enough time to thoroughly review these nominees' materials."

He said it's "nothing new" to hold a hearing with multiple circuit court nominees, something Tobias disputed and said the Republicans were underselling. The professor said it happened only a handful of times during Obama's time in office, and only then with the Republican minority on board.

The wild week is almost certain to see similar iterations in the coming weeks and months with Trump's impressive number of early nominations to the federal bench.

As Severino said, part of the reason Trump has sought to move so quickly is because of the sheer number of vacancies. But another is a result of the focus on the judiciary in the past election, with the outsized campaign around replacing Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia particularly sticking out.

"This election was more about the courts than any in my memory," she said.

SEE ALSO: A Democratic senator's obscure move highlights the biggest roadblock Trump faces in his quest to remake the courts

Join the conversation about this story »

NOW WATCH: Putin says Trump is not his bride and claims Americans don't know the difference between Austria and Australia

from All About Law http://www.businessinsider.com/trump-judges-nominations-hearings-democrats-2017-9

[viralhottopics]

No joke: 6 times comedy changed the way we live

(CNN)There’s only one rule in comedy, most comedians will tell you. It must be funny.

But those on the listening end don’t always agree. Take what happened to comedic screen siren Mae West in 1926 after she dared to write and star in a Broadway play titled “Sex”: She was sentenced to 10 days in a woman’s workhouse and fined $500 on obscenity charges.

Of course, times change. Some 70 years later, there was so much “Sex” happening in the city that an entire television series was devoted to it.

As comedian Patton Oswalt puts it in CNN’s “The History of Comedy,” ” ‘Off limits’ is not a permanent address. You couldn’t say ‘pregnant’ on TV when Lucille Ball was pregnant on ‘I Love Lucy.’ So to anyone who says, ‘Well, it’s off limits’ … enjoy the next 10 minutes because that’s about as long as that’s going to last.”

Like mischievous children, comedians have long pushed boundaries to see what they can get away with. And if it weren’t for the Mae Wests of the world, we may never have had the cultural breakthroughs that led us to where we are today.

Here are six times when comedy broke barriers, shocked audiences and, in the process, changed the way we live.

1. Lenny Bruce convicted of ‘word crimes’

When: 1964

What happened: When Bruce came along in the 1950s, he stunned audiences with his unfiltered routines about drugs, race and religion. His material outraged the era’s moral crusaders, who banned Bruce from several cities and tried to shut down his act.

In 1964, undercover police secretly recorded Bruce performing at a New York club and arrested him on obscenity charges. At his trial, despite testimony on his behalf from Woody Allen, Bob Dylan and others, a Manhattan court convicted Bruce of “word crimes” and sentenced him to a workhouse. The verdict derailed Bruce’s career, and he died in 1966.

A famous line:

Why it matters: Can you imagine a world in which Louis C.K., Eddie Murphy or Margaret Cho would be arrested on obscenity charges for their stand-up? “Lenny opened the doors for the comics today,” George Carlin, another influencer on this list, told CNN in 1990. “He made it possible to think that someone could even be funny that way.”

2. George Carlin’s 7 dirty words

When: 1972

What happened: Carlin began doing a monologue in his stand-up act called “Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television.”

The words: sh*t, p*ss, f**k, c*nt, c**ksucker, motherf**ker and t*ts.

After Carlin did the bit onstage at a festival in Milwaukee, he was arrested and the monologue was played at his trial, drawing giggles in the courtroom (a judge tossed out the case). The next year, a man complained to the Federal Communications Commission that his young son had heard Carlin’s routine on the radio, sparking a dispute that went all the way to the US Supreme Court.

A famous line:

Why it matters: The Supreme Court ruled that Carlin’s joke was “indecent but not obscene,” upholding free speech while also giving federal authorities the power to restrict offensive broadcasts when children are likely to be watching or listening. Asked later about his profane style of comedy, Carlin said, “I like to find out where the line is drawn, and then drag the audience across the line with me and make them happier for the experience.”

3. Norman Lear’s sitcoms reinvent TV

When: Early 1970s

What happened: Lear broke the existing TV sitcom mold when he created “All in the Family.” The series, which revolved around the insult-spewing bigot Archie Bunker, tackled the sweeping changes of the era with such honesty that CBS ran an onscreen disclaimer before the first episodes.

By balancing comedy with thorny issues like racism, homosexuality, menopause and misogyny, “All in the Family” became the No. 1 show on TV and inspired several spinoffs, including “Maude.” That show broke ground of its own by airing a two-part 1972 episode about the main character’s decision to get an abortion.

A famous scene:

Why it matters: “TV only started to become socially relevant in the early 1970s,” said Robert J. Thompson, founding director of the Bleier Center for Television and Popular Culture at Syracuse University. “The norm before that was more likely to be talking horses and flying nuns.”

4. Richard Pryor gets provocative about race

When: Early-to-mid-1970s

What happened: While some comedians avoided joking about race, Pryor tackled the topic head-on in electric stand-up performances. Pryor wasn’t afraid to make whites feel uncomfortable by mocking racist behavior with thinly veiled anger, and he was one of the first comedians to make liberal use of the N-word.

Editor’s Note: The following video contains graphic language and content. Viewer discretion is advised.

“This one night I decided to make it my own,” he said of the racial slur. “I decided to take the sting out of it … as if saying it over and over again would numb me and everybody else to its wretchedness.”

A famous line:

Why it matters: Pryor inspired almost every black comic who followed him, including Eddie Murphy, Bernie Mac, Damon Wayans and Chris Rock. “Richard basically blazed a trail for black comedy. He defined what it is,” Wayans told The Washington Post in 1998. “As a young black man he was saying what he felt — and that was shocking.”

5. Ellen comes out

When: 1997

What happened: Two weeks after comedian Ellen DeGeneres came out as gay on the cover of Time magazine, her “Ellen” character came out in a two-part episode of the ABC sitcom (titled “The Puppy Episode” after the network’s suggestion that her seemingly asexual character get a puppy to boost slumping ratings).

The fallout was swift and severe. Some companies pulled their ads, and an affiliate in Birmingham, Alabama, refused to air the episode. Guest star Laura Dern, who played a lesbian, said she had trouble getting work afterward. But the episode drew huge ratings, and 20 years later it’s hard to imagine what the fuss was about.

A famous line:

Why it matters: DeGeneres’ was the first lead character to come out as gay on American television, and her example helped usher in major LGBT characters in “Will & Grace,” “Glee” and other series.

6. ‘South Park’ skewers sacred cows

When: 1997-present

What happened: From the very first episode of this subversive cartoon, titled “Cartman Gets an Anal Probe,” creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone seemed bent on offending as many groups as possible. Over the years the show has gleefully lampooned conservatives and liberals, satirized Jesus Christ and Mohammed, made insinuations about Tom Cruise’s sexuality, depicted Steve Irwin with a stingray barb stuck in his chest and called Scientology a “big, fat global scam.”

Editor’s Note: The following video contains graphic language and content. Viewer discretion is advised.

In one episode the word “sh*t” was said 162 times, complete with a helpful counter that tallied the utterances in the lower-left corner of the screen. Because the show airs on Comedy Central, not broadcast TV, it has been largely spared the wrath of network censors. Still, numerous parents’ and conservative groups have called for boycotts.

A famous line:

Why it matters: By skillfully skewering religion, ethnic groups, celebrities and other targets while pushing the bounds of decency, “South Park” has largely obliterated TV’s last remaining taboos. Almost no topic, no matter how sensitive, has been immune. Thompson, the Syracuse University professor, compared such trailblazing comedy to the pioneers who pushed west in the 1800s to tame the American wilderness. “The wilderness is now closed,” he said, “and sometime in the ’90s we hit the Pacific Ocean.”

Read more: http://cnn.it/2k6LIM9

from No joke: 6 times comedy changed the way we live