#i actually did a bit of editing this time round so theres a bit of flaire and pizzazz ✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

[mythtiide]

speedpaint to the game night drawing …! i like it loogat da process..

[amethyst-draws09]

The weird side of the smiling critters fandom need to be addressed and brought to light as Its actually vile creepy and I don’t see many people talk about it.

Before I get in there are mentions of pedophilla. Nsfw. And sexual assault. If these topics are sensitive to you. Feel free to go now.

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Now I’m not gonna go to in depth with this bit as I already did in another post a while back. But the weird art you see on thumbnails on YouTube. On Tik Tok. Or on twitter is downright wrong. Your basically showing NSFW to minors what is wrong and a crime. Also let’s not forget how children coded these characters are aswell.

Now with the second part. TIK TOK AND TWITTER

Now unfortunately on Tik Tok there is very weird art of all these characters. Specially dogday and catnap. I’m sure you’ve all heard of that one edit and unfortunately there are people basiclsly posting porn on there but censoring it very lightly. I’m sure if you’ve been on Tik tok you’ve heard about the “burrito incident” with a piece of art that has dogday and catnap in. If you haven’t all you need to know it’s very disgusting artwork of catnap SA dogday in his heretic form. (The one where he’s in half) and it’s all censored with a fucking burrito.

Not only has it basically been shared round the fandom on tt but also the original post IS STILL UP?!?!?

I shouldn’t have to say why this is disgusting but just in case you need to know. NOT ONLY ARE BIGGER BODY CATNAP AND DOGDAY KIDS. WHAT IS PEDOPHILLA ALREADY? THE FACT THERES SA IN IT? THATS FUCKING DISGUSTING AND INSENSITIVE AND DOWNRIGHT WEIRD? ugh the whole situation on Tik tok annoys me. And to the people who say “ima give catnap the hour of joy” he’s 8. Don’t try argue. Oh BUt HE dIEd 20 YEaRs aGo. DOESNT matter. It’s still weird and he is still 8.

Not gonna go In depth with twitter but twitter has even more disgusting art on it. And also people that attack you if your even in the fandom. So yea.

Now finally the shipping aspect of all this…

Now I’ll say this. I think the cartoon versions being shipped. As long as it’s platonic and nothing nsfw and aged up. It’s fine. In fact I’ve seen some genuinely wholesome art on tumblr about it. But you need to tread thin with this as stated above.

Now with the experiments? Please don’t. There kids first of all. and second of all anyone who ships catnap and dogday in experiment form REALLY needs to play the game. Cause yk. Catnap kinda cut dogday in half. Just don’t ship the experiment versions. It’s wrong.

Sorry for this post but I had to say it again. I seen so much bad art of them around and the fact it’s not being taken down is bad very bad. It shouldn’t be able to roam free of no consequence. Want my opinion? See a weird piece of art? Report it and block the creator. Done. Thanks for your time

[n0bluev]

Somehow, im inspired to write that 'revision fic'. === (EDIT : u can skip but heres another snippet for u (3 separate bits that fit together nicely, actually haha) cuz hihi. THE AU: As i said, its a failed "3"rd regression context, where yjh is now in his "4"th round. The last memory he has of kdj is him dying, and to make things worse "In this round, that guy doesn't exist." is a thing, so yjh freaks out a bit but hes totally normal about this whole ordeal & the fact that he doesnt even remembers kdj's face now. Wdym! Hes fiiiiiine!

sorry lol back to the actual post : (,hope u enjoyed that little treat tho^^)) ===

!!THAT [Somehow, im inspired to write [...]] HAS NEVER HAPPENED TO ME BEFORE!!. I always like. do an outline for the overall story and vibe, then flesh out the start or something and cook up a little 500 (probably unsatisfying) words for fun kind of as a bonus. Keep it mostly for my private enjoyment and move on before the story comes to life. And that's okay... Yes, it would be cooler to actually write the AU ideas i get in novel or comic form instead of having them stay at just the 'sketch' & 'idea/brainstorm' phase before i get another idea and leave them to dust up in the pile,,

But yeah, its okay.

In the few years since ive started getting ideas for more elaborate aus/fics, ive noticed that my ideas improved with time. (no shit, i know, but it makes me happy! i grew up!!! i can see it.) My planning methods are better too. So all of that unfinished or abandoned stuff is not at all useless work in my eyes. And who knows, maybe one day i'll bring them back.

--> as a plus, all my fandom brainrot experiences even get transferred into my OC stuff, and frl whenever i read my notes these days (or listen to my voice memos lol) and im just like "HOW DID I THINK OF THIS WOW" or "WHEN DID I PUT THIS LIKE THIS? IT WORKS!" (not to brag or anything but my oc lore goes hard ☝️)

BUT. NOW THIS IS UNEXPECTED.

I DID NO PLANNING. I just started writing for orv and its. Lowkey, good ???? Dont get me wrong i only have 1.5k right now and there are clear holes i have to fill and stuff but... CLEAR HOLES! CLEAR HOLES. Sure Im used to being like "something of the sort should go there..." BUT THIS TIME ITS "THIS SHOULD GO THERE, ILL WRITE IT LATER BUT THE IMAGE IS IN MY MIND, CLEAR AS WATER, AND ONCE I START PUTTING IT ON THE PAGE ISTG THOSE WORDS WILL STREAM OUT OF MY FINGERS AS IF IT WAS A NORMAL OCCURENCE FOR ME" ,,- !??? Yo!

Anyways. Point is that somehow theres interesting stuff going on in my gg doc and the more i write the more i know where i want to go, so that's cool, i feel all powerfull for once

idk if that ease is going to stay once im done with the first scenes (ughh!!! theres so much potential!!!!!!!!) but hopefully yes. either way ill probably post it so im not baiting yall with a "um actually im writing smt rn --- *never shares with the class*" --- either 1) things go well and i write a "real fic" (!? wtf that wasnt my plan!) --- or 2) i only post the finished version of what i have now (expect around 5k? (i have no idea actually)) and we wait together to see if i pick up the idea again haha. (i do wish to write it tho! im not a 'writer' writer but i want to be one, u get me?)

! thank u see u byebye

[nicegaai]

Ch 7:

(i ragequit halfway thru rereading this chapter bc i decided i hated it and everything in the world and etc <3 its literally fine tho. im going to finish this reread bc i said i would and i WILL. and i keep daydreaming ab this universe lately. i miss them.)

Ohhh this is where I took a big break between chapters and I was never sure the flow between them made a ton of sense… idk I guess because the two of them had a good talk and then immediately Emil dreamed about sucking oniichan off…..

Ohh this is so silly… Emil my boy.. this is so awkward for sig what are u doooooing <3

HMM. There are edits I want to make here. I didn’t need the last sentence. I used to like it, now I don’t . :/

OH!!!!! I did write Leon into this!!! Id forgot! I had several scenes with him i cut out bc I just didn’t want to write them..

ohh my god I duplicated a whole paragraph. This has all just been an elaborate exercise in embarrassment. I can’t believe I got away with this.

Wow </3 if u think about it, Sig wanting to fuck Emil sooo bad actually saved him from the gay incel lifestyle. It could have been so much worse for my boy <//3

Oh. The transition made me gasp. Gagged me a bit. Get it boysss. Wild Fucking Scene between these three. Idk what to say to this. Op you have problems.

Another error to edit :-/

CRAP DUDE I LEFT IN NOTES THAT WERE FOR ME!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOW DID I NOT SEE THAT. I can’t take it anymore im so madddddddd 

Actually this whole chapter is my least fav yet. SIGHH. I wanna go in and edit dialogue again bc this just. ughh. Ive changed I could do him better this time

(I actually walked away here for like 4 hours. Maybe im just at the anger stage of grief. )

Ok forget Sig, Berwald would not say that either. What is any of this? Why is any of this. Mannnnnnn get me out of here!!!!!  Haha wait I can just skim read. Its fine.

(It was not fine. I rage quit again and started again the next day.)

IM SORRY FOR THE NEGATIVITY ALL OF A SUDDEN I don’t know what my problem is. It’s Sunday now, back at it. Im gonna finish this reread TODAY so I can START WRITING !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hm yeah this scene really didn’t play out as well as I hoped it would. I wanna throw up and cry but its good im good its good I am good … Its not good and I don’t know why it not being good is fucking w me this bad lmao

(RIGHT HERE is where i quit for like a month and im back again let's see if i freak out a third time<3)

so i guess this is why books go thru multiple rounds of edits. i understand now. writing is a mess and i came at this thing overconfident i could hammer something out on the fly,,,,,,,,

i will allow myself to go in and do rewrites and scene rearranging and such AFTER i finish the last chapter ONLY. thats my new motivation to finish this. and i will finish it. i will. i say this bc i really do fucking hate this scene and i want to do something violent to it in the rewrite phase sooo bad ill tear it to bits ill kill it dead #positivethinking

actually fuck this its my reread. i dont HAVE TO read this scene. aaaaand skip (<- liar who continues to skim and cringe)

ok scene over i lived. back to my darlingbabyboybabybooboobear

it was a mistake to involve characters that i dont want to throttle and soak in milk and slam against the wall. the writing only gets good when iceland is there i think & the rest is filler. the quality fr jumped about 3 levels this is so funnyyyyyy. im not hopeless after all ...!!

im going to squeeze emil until his head pops like a zit

im going to scream i m going to!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH MY GOD ARE THEY FUCKIN IN THIS CHAPTER? OH MY GOD ARE THEY? WAIT THERES STILL LIKE 1/3RD LEFT TO GO I DONT REMEMBER THIS ARE THEY GONNA --

im only getting more intrigued. what is this. whats happening. are they fuckin or nah

i love typos theyre eachand every one my special little friend *shaking w barely contained rage(

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i do not remember where this is going but i hope they fuckin oh my god oh my god im kickin my feet and gigglinggggg aiigieieghhghe

hes a nervous little thingg ...... uwa.. moé ... <333

this is stupid and indulgent but i live for emil reacting to things.

make another edit here i think emil could be reacting cuter. future me, make the gayboy MORE moe please tttthnak you

i made a stupid noise when they kissed im weak i a m a weak man. also i knowwww they fuckin now but i dont trust that the sex is going to be well written i know it wont be.

already i am disappointed. and i know why cuz i can feel exactly where i struggled w the eroticism of the peenus and im reading this like. yeah i didnt enjoy writing that and its coming across to the reader alright. or to me at least with my criticism goggles on. god the next few chapters are going to be so much worse. but i think i can make it work. theres. i have. ..im seeing visions from fujoshi jesus

oh no i squee'd .. theres not another word for it. AHH!!!! i fucking squee'd!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ]IM KICKING M Y FEET AND STUFF WHAT denice got me rolling around schoolgirl style . im a full on mess i love them sm ,THIS IS SO SILLYYYYYYYY I LOVE THEMMMMMMMMMMMMM WHAT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

im actually enjoying this so much i love denice.....

BWAHHHGHHH

EAUEGHAEUEGAHGAEHGA

projection in my fanfic? nooo neverr,

HES SOOOOOOOOOOOOO CUTE EMILLLLL BABYYYYYY I WUV UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

kicking my feet again aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

fav chapter ending ive ever written in anything ever. so good. what a horrible piece of shit i hate him. i hate all of this. something something my twisted mind. one more chpater ill read idk tomorrow maybe the next day.....well goodnight

im attempting my fic reread today. im announcing this bc i will be liveblogging to keep my morale up, NOT THAT anyone cares but i personally need this, like ill only commit to do the thing if theres an imaginary audience holding me accountable. & i like to have fun :3

anyway. captains log, its a beautiful sunny july weekend. i just finished my morning coffee, and, i am dreading this so much. i dont like rereading my own writing but i shall get over it. ok here we go.

Þetta Reddast vagueblogged directors commentary edition

Ch 1:

*opens fic and starts convulsing immediately* god i wish i smoked weed rn. i cannot chill out ever for the life of me

My Mission For Today Is: to remember what plot threads I’ve left hanging so I can resolve this story properly. And also try n remember where the flow is going. I have the end plotted out, I just am a little lost … it’s been a while :-(

------------

Abrupt beginning!!!! I’m not mad because I have . I HAD. Almost no writing experience when I started this. it isn’t ideal but I refuse to be one of those fanfic writers that starts rewriting early chapters without finishing the last ones. Ive never seen one of those types actually finish a longfic. …I’d already rather yap than actually read LMAO AHH

Oh this is worse than I remember. thats cool that s great ok alright *coughs up blood*

"20 somethings" WOW I really did not know where I was going with this when I started huh

LKJSDLKSJDLGKGDJSLDGJK ??? Who authorized this. Who let me cook. What the hell

I could write this better now. I could edit this into something beautiful. <- devil on my shoulder

FORGOT I WAS MAKING RICE BRB

"generously offered nothing to the exchange." wait STOPPPP. I’m so funny

GRAMMAR ERROR DETECTED why is there two periods. I’ll be coming back to fix that …………………. :-(((

Fuck. This is a lot. Marge Simpson Hiding Her Face dot Png

Oh this is stupid this is gayyy this is fukcinnn . Who fucking did t his. What was wrong with me,. This is so good actually. what was i ONNNN. 

Im gonna throw up and I don’t know if thats like/. A complimentary thing or if im just cringing that hard . Im feeling emotions. I love my OTPs..OT3~5? I love them so so much

Ok as much as im like “eww bad writing” this is .. dare I say, rly good in places. Not to suck my own dick but maybe all hope isnt lost and imposter syndrome is an illusion

Grammar mistake #2. Goddddddd. they should ban me from the archive for this

EMILLLLL EMIL EMIL EMIL HIIIIII BABYYYY EMILLL I LOVE UUUU AWWHUUGHH everyone clap for my bewoved baby bruvver right FUCKING now

Urghhh gritting my teeth… Im fully expecting the flow of events to start not making any gd sense. There’s no way this came together the way I hoped in my head and .... For real I was never able to read this all the way thru. this is my first time, lol. and it was all disjointed on the authorial end to say the least. Im scared T-T

Jlxjvklsdkjfsjlkdkjlsjklkljzsdkjlgaskljdgjklasljkgdljkasljkdgjklasjlkdgljkaskljdgjakl?????????? 

Im not liking the ratio of dialogue to whatever the other stuff is. scene-setting I guess. prose maybe. i could have dragged this out way longer... By which I mean made it a more satisfying read. But WHATEVER !!!! 

TIMO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TIMOOOOOOOOOO NUMERO UNOOOO DO MUNDOOOOOO I really need to utilize him more. As soon as I finish this fic I need to write a Timo POV spinoff where he gets cancelled on furry twitter for proshipping in real life

Hmmmm chapter ending didn’t hit as hard in practice as it did in drafts. Oh well. God damn that was a lot to happen in one chapter LMAOO???

OH SHIT MY RICE IS STILL COOKING —— 

[just-gay-thoughts]

Im very new to this site

How do I navigate it's kinda confusing and my ADHD keeps seeing colors and I can't figure out how to use things

Help pls 🙏

First of all, hi, welcome to the party!

Okay you figured out asks so yay! If you haven't noticed, theres also a little toggle for anonymous asks if you ever wish to send those, if I remember correctly though you can't send pics and vids on anonymous.

Basic getting started advice: use the search to find tags that you're interested in, it can be Fandom or hobby interests or anything really. You can choose to follow that tag (the option should be in the search bar after you've searched it, if that makes sense) and random posts from the tag will show up on your feed from time to time. You can also go through and follow people who post a lot in that tag that you enjoy the content of. Basic rule of advice for following people is to do it as freely as you wish, but don't feel bad about unfollowing for any reason.

And this explanation is going to be scatterbrained as I mention things as I think of them so I do apologize for that lol

Make sure you go into your settings and set your dashboard preferences to not include 'in your orbit' (or do, but most have their dash in chronological order rather than the more algorithmic version), this way you see stuff just from people and tags you follow.

Great ways to find people to follow are by searching like mentioned before, but also if you notice someone you follow reblogging someone's posts a lot and you enjoy those posts, that can be a great way to find more people.

You yourself can post as often as you want but there's a couple things to be familiar with that would show up on your blog.

The first is likes, which can be turned off (if I remember correctly the option might be when you go to edit your profile)

The second is reblogs, this is how posts get spread around. I like to think of it like likes are you telling the op they did a good job, and a reblog is you running to show your friends what you just found. It is greatly encouraged to reblog things like art and gifsets if you liked them because of the lack of algorithm on this site.

The last is your own posts, there should be a round plus button on mobile (it's been a bit since I've been on desktop but I think it's at the top?) That will take you to the text editor. I didn't llan ahead so this is the only one I have pictures for :)

Things to note: very bottom has the ability to add links, gifs, photos, audio, polls, and the Aa let's you edit the way text appears. Just above that you can add tags, many use tags for organization (I tend to use #gay thoughts for many of my own posts, eith #gay asks being added when I'm answering an ask), but there's also a huge culture around talking in the tags. Many add thoughts about the post in the tags, as anything said in a reblog will always stay with that version of a post, but tags are only visible when viewed from the actual reblog theyre on.

The 3 dots in the corner give you some additional options for your post

You can post it now or later, change who can reblog it, who can blaze it(pay money for it to appear on a number of random peopl's dashes), all that jazz!

Sorry if anything was hard to understand, please let me know if you have any other questions!

[dapperrokyuu]

Unknown (Till the End...) (XENO VIBE and BL8M | Alien Stage: Round 2 Song) - English Translyrics

Hi! Is Alien Stage continuing to consume me? Yes. Was Till’s song a banger? Also yes. Was it also an easy set of lyrics because a significant portion of the song is already in English? Yes, but HEY...

Enjoy, nonetheless, smh. As always, feel free to use, as long as you credit me! If anyone wants further thought process clarification for any lyrics, feel free to ask too! Have a wonderful day, fellas!

Translation Base: Captions in original video.

(Come on!)

(Yeah! Hah!)

(Get with me now!)

Nothing was my everything. Melody filling this empty, It’s you, alright. My feelings are… ERROR: no better options.

I’ve a shaking paradigm, I don’t care if my world is turned upside down, I wanna know all about you! (Oh!)

No more takin’ it slow. My feelings’ edelweiss that bloomed because of you… (You’ll never know.) I don’t wanna stop!

Don’t even– Think this time’s enough! Cause, you baby, still, it's not enough! (For me, alright?) Don't leave me, li li dadada…

Cause, you baby, still, it's not enough! How dare you think this time's enough! Ain't nobody but– You're the one that I'm feeling it's love. Don't be afraid… (Ohhhhh!) (Come on!)

(Ohhh, wa-ohh! Wa-ohh!) (Wa-oh-oh o-ohh…) (Ohhh, wa-ohh! Wa-ohh!)

Cause I like it better… (Feel like I’m crazy! Oh, yeah, yeah!) (Come on!) Can’t refuse this, take this overdose.

---

This session of translyrics shall feature notes as opposed to the usual alternative translyrics! Because I didnt really have any alternative translyrics this time around, lol.

NOTE 1: The lines “(Yeah! Hah!)” and “(Come on now!)” are based primarily on speculation of what I heard in the original video, it actually did not provide subtitles for those. I just felt it was worthwhile, something WAS sang here, lol.

Ive come to recognize the possibility of “(Get away now!)”...? But contextually, that doesnt make too much sense? Theres an extra syllable, so “(Come on now!)” cant be it exactly, but...ahh, jotted down, at least!

Ive settled on the idea that its probably “(Get with me now!)” fitting the syllables and the context. Ive considered the idea of “(Get on me now!)” but thats, uhh. Raunchy. “(Get with me now!)” kind of fits the persuading tone as well as...Till wants to get with Mizi, lol. The prior “(Come on now!)” has been edited accordingly, but is immortalized here, just for thought process demonstration, lol.

NOTE 2: The last line, “Can’t refuse this, take this overdose.” Ultimately, this line is pretty ambiguous in the original captions (”Can’t refuse, overdose”), so I opted to maintain the ambiguity. You could easily do, “Can’t refuse me,” or “Can’t refuse, so take this overdose” but former took away the ambiguity (and also added vibes that could make Till sound WEIRD, considering his obsession with Mizi), and I think the “this, take this” was a bit of fun wordplay and matched the rhythm a bit better.

I enjoy the ambiguity because you COULD attribute the line to Till himself, but you could also apply the line to how Till and the other contestants cant refuse their situations in Alien Stage. So I personally enjoy the interpretation of, “[I, Till,] Cant refuse this [Alien Stage], take this overdose [him securing his win by all means, even killing someone and shocking the audience].” The whole point is that THE ALIENS CANT REFUSE HIS WIN AT THIS POINT. Its an overdose, an excessive action, its a backlash to his oppressors. Theyre forcing him to play? Hes going to play and win in every way (survival and gratification).

The “Can’t refuse this, take this overdose” also gives the sense that Till CHOSE this action as opposed to “Can’t refuse, so take this overdose” having the feel of responding in a hopeless and helpless manner. Theres just more POWER in the former, so that was that, haha. Thank you for listening to my TEDtalk!

[finn-shitposts]

Tagged by: @theydoctor :3 thank you!!

Favourite time of year: Summer! Used to be autumn for years cos of the pretty colours and just the overall cosy vibes, but after living in england for so long I just crave the warmth and joy of summer year round lol

Comfort food: POTATOES! BOIL EM MASH EM STICK EM IN A STEW. (no but really growing up w coeliac my most staple carb is potatoes so theres just comfort to it. Though ill say pörkölt is up there too)

Do you collect something: so many random things. Rocks, shells, broken bits of ceramics and pottery, feathers, eggshells (like songbirds not chickens lol), dead insects if i happen to find any intact etc etc

Favourite drink: WATER! all i ever drink is water istg sksksk, but if i had to pick a non water beverage then hot chocolate or apple juice

Favourite song: this is evil so evil you cant make me pick just one T.T "barcelona" by george ezra or "sitting on the dock of the bay" by otis redding are definitely up there tho

Current favourite song: "March of the resistance" by john williams or "hajolj bele a hajamba" by péterfy bori & love band

Favourite fic: also evil, i cant pick just one so ill inflict like 30 upon you >:3 (i did try to slim it down, but theres still so many and i cant bring myself to write a description for each one, youre gonna have to do fic roulette w this)

(edit: ill be slowly editinf through this to make all the links actually clickable cos for some reason tumblr decided to just paste them as plain text)

Spn fics -

The Most Important Thing by northernsparrow

Under the Midnight Sun by northernsparrow

Flight by northernsparrow

A Winter's Tale by northernsparrow

Ye be warned by orphan account

Into the Fire by northernsparrow

One Step At a Time by tricia_16

Marvel -

despite the threatening sky and shuddering earth (they remained) by praximeter (Zimario)

Rivers and Roads by AustinB

War, Children by Nonymos

We’re all playing the same game, laying down alone. by FlawedM

Total Institution by thelittlestpurplecat

Dragging Me Down by cleo4u2, cobaltmoony, xantissa

Star wars -

step out into the sun by plutos

Superluminal Motion by nekosmuse

Doubt Thou the Stars Are Fire by linatrinch

Actualization by diversionary_tactician

The Tides of Mustafar by buckstiel

The strangeness of us by Tarasque

The Soulmark by LightningStriking

On My Wing by Nerdinablender

Racing By by rebelforce

You Will Fly Again by mybuckystar

Jessika Pava: Best Wingman in the Resistance! by ScarlettStorm

you promise me, my life by beautifullights

The Wanderer and the Seer by aiden_ng

Doctor Who -

Those We Love the Best by Yamx

Bliss by DameRuth

The Mardi Gras series by diannelamerc, lizbetann

Major Arcana by Canaan

Universal Lost and Found by OneOfThoseThings

The Contingency Plan by gingerteaandsympathy

The Choice by lastincurableromantic

Witcher -

With a Conquering Air by inexplicifics   

it’s a long way forward (so trust in me) by suzukiblu

If I Must Starve (Let it be in Your Arms) by Igneum807

Xmen -

Directive by Kalimyre

The stars incline us, they do not bind us by ikeracity, Pangea    

An Ideal Grace by afrocurl, nekosmuse

Alrighr alright im done now xD

Tagging:

@englishbunnyrocks @saecookie @cerberulix @everybodygotawaterbuffalo @k9ok and anyone that feels like it!

Also i know this isnt part of the tag challenge but if anyone has good fic recs in the fandoms i posted up there pls send them me 👉👈🥺

[ask-mortarion-the-death-lord]

some continuation i guess

this time with the emperor

we get the basic rundown, born to human parents, massively gifted, immortal, hidden among humanity and all that. It’s here where his motivation to shepherd humanities psychic awakening is really first brought up [something thats given overall more prominence in the book as well]. a much more interesting note however

now, this probably seems inconspicuous enough at first glance. Indeed even in modern canon 40k’s imperium is first actually created over ten millennia ago. However, take into consideration this little bit earlier in the lore section that i didn’t think to much off at the time

now, taking this into consideration, the implication here is that the age of strife, something that is typically thought to end right before the unification wars in modern 40k lore, is only considered to have ended after the emperor’s internment upon the golden throne, and that further the imperium seems to only officially be a thing upon the that internment. Now this suggests some things to me, two large ones possibly being

a) the unification wars and the great crusade were more so part of the same wider war, ie that the wars ‘only the emperor remembers’ were a large conflict between various warlords to determine who got the rightful rulership of the crumbling pre age of strife human civilization. or

b) the emperor started the age of strife in order to dominate humanity to control and shepherd the psychic awakening he saw humanity stumbling into.

take your pick i guess. food for thought and all that. also

in my earlier post i jumped the gun, the 1st edition emperor is still a punk who needs human souls to survive. Though in this case its not some vague need to bind his soul to the chair or anything, no, its just that he apparently cant eat or drink anything else and hes really god damn hungry and thirsty all the time. Which is hilarious and i almost feel is just a better explanation in general.

to be fair he does look like this 10 millenia later

makes sense he would need to eat unconventionally.

as well, as opposed to specifying 1000 psyker souls a day it just mentions a vague ‘hundreds dying every day’ which is still a lot but also likely less then modern emps eats everyday.

some explanation/emperor wank on why the emperor needs to be fed everyday. not much to say, just that i feel like the implications here atleast lean a bit more towards the emperor being pitiable in his own right as someone so dedicated to this vague future ideal of humanity that hes forsaken most of his own physically and mentally. 

apparently humanity underwent no genetic changes over 38,000 years that werent the direct result of mutation from environmental hazards.

@ lordsofmedrengard  early dark angels lore, here we can see where they got stuck with the moniker of “first legion” from in 30k modern lore, and its cause here in the first 40k book they’re noted as being ‘honored as the first marine chapter’. Guess it was something they felt needed to carry over... I like the copious more amounts of wine in the old dark angels chapter, and they seem a lot more aristocratic here then in modern 40k. Which makes an interesting contrast compared to the barbarian stocks of soldiers mentioned earlier in the book as being preferred for “legiones astartes”

we get some rundowns on the branches of the adeptus terra next, not much particularly new to note outside of them all being part of this larger governmental priesthood. some highlights though

the old school custodes uniforms are in fact the traditional uniform of the custodes in 1st edition. 

custodes wielded ‘lasers built to resemble the traditional and symbolic guardian spear’ whatever the fuck that means

tech priests and the adeptus mechanicus were monastic monks who primarily lived on earth and didn’t stick metal parts into and all over their bodies. they were consequently much more boring as the echlissiarchies IT department.

arbites basically doubled in the sisters of battle’s role as the militant branch of the state religion.

arbites fashion choices and the arbites acting in a similar manner of chaplains as well really.

the more voluntary nature of the astronomican in the first edition, the trainees learn how to safely let the battery drain them but it still seems to be a demanding job with a high fatality rate

they also share monastic tendencies and a uniform with the mechanicus, though theres is a fashionable blue.

included the entire bit on the administratum cause honestly, i find it incredibly fascinating. The parallels are certainly there between modern and 1st edition administratum, but i feel how its presented here just has more teeth and intrest to it. That is to say, its not just the ‘oh what fate, administration has become even more horrid, tedious and soul draining in this grim dark future, woe be us!’ that tends to get tossed around when mocking administration. Instead its a literal organization of religious monks dedicated to tax filings, school administration, rezoning and what have you. Blessed be the regulations and all that. Is there small cults dedicated to paper clip gods? what holy rites are involved when faxing documents compared to when faxing fourms? This is shit i want to know more about.

all adeptus terra adepts carry a knife and are likely legally allowed to shiv you here as well incidentally. 

the inquisitors are mostly the same, though with no mention of chaos whatsoever. less sub divisions from the looks of it too. this bit did catch my attention though.

psychic powers seemed to be a hell of a lot more common among inquisitors back then as well.

quirky inquisitors, who’d have thunk it. [its not that surprising, i just like that they took the time to mention it is all]

don’t know wtf is going on here though, especially as to whats going on with dudes armour on the left. looks like a knight crossed with an oven.

we get the usual spiel of psyker background, but then we get some interesting differences in opinions here on psykers compared to modern 40k imperium. How justified or not it is, is up to you but its definitely a shift in tone i would say.

possibly the proto servitor narrative wise? As said, 1st edition 40k readily uses robots, so servitors would be unnecessary. technomats on the other hand fall between that as menials who likely operate these things but dont full on replace them like servitors eventually will.

astropaths are basically the same, though the 90% statistic im not sure if it holds over to modern 40k. im thinkin likely but i could be wrong.

navigators outside of not ubiquitously having the third eye mutation also seem to have much more personal freedom and respect in imperial society in 1st edition. probably pretty comfy to be a navigator back then really. Aside from that, navigator families are still a thing.

space marine time!

well we get the same ‘feral world recruits as warrior god soldiers’ sortta stuff, it is mentioned and stressed that hive world criminals apparently make better stock in terms of raw aggression. Entire gangs will even be rounded up for the purpose of making new space marines.

the early process to create a space marine. no special organs, but bio-chem and the black [plastic?] carapace were there from the start, and hypno indoctrination is alluded to. Apparently this is still barely controlled chaos though. [and on a personal note, nothing that indicates it was male exclusive either, outside of general attitudes of the 1980′s]

early organization graph of a space marine chapter.

chapter markings and armour

AND THE POSSIBLITY OF SPACE MARINE BAGPIPES, WHERE ARE THEY GW WHERES MY SPACE MARINE BAGPIPERS!

iron hands apparently only had the one iron hand?

list of chapter symbols with names and colours, these keep appearing in the book. seems i was wrong on only the imperial fist symbol, its actually the crimson fists chapter symbol so thats 3 of the modern big 9 that didn’t exist back then.

we get a break down on the typical structure of a fortress monastery for space marines next, using the space wolves funnily enough who were far more normal as it were in 1st edition [and also their home world was lucan isntead]. and its got a lot, and well its all fairly interesting ill just shotgun blast some highlights

that the space wolves had an entire fuckin ship hanging in their great hall i find endlessly amusing, so thats why its there. the rest are interesting in terms of the domestic situation of space marines.

[irene-sadler]

math time

still editing the last 3 chapters of my mf thronebreaker fanfiction in between long hours of senior level math classes. anyway in lieu of a further extended period of radio silence, a brief side trip into some quick math i did when i decided i needed to take a break from doing math (and wanted to work these details out to support a minor recurring joke in an upcoming chapter anyway):

1. problem: idk how old any canon thronebreaker char is supposed to be like it is not mentioned ever. the only specific numbers timeline-wise I recall ever coming up are

uh, when Meve claims Villem is (almost?) 16. (presumably despite being kind of a shitty parent she does know how old her sons/heirs are. like, u would think.) i rounded ‘almost’ up to ‘actually’.  

also reynard says he’s worked for the rivian royal family for 18 years in total. (not sure if he means ‘18 years after i almost got hanged for being a dumb idiot’ but u know, i just assumed he does.)

if theres any others mentioned they weren’t all that important and i forgot about them. 

2. anyway i decided it was easiest to consider the 2nd number first so

The Internet claims reynard is 20 when he joins the military. this seems pretty reasonable to me, assume it is legit. further assume the time it takes him to get thru whatever training the rivian military does and then get in enough trouble to get arrested is roughly a year. 20+18+1=39 years. easy. 2nd problem turned out to be way vaguer as it always is:

the gwent card blurbs or whatever claim that meve is maybe 17(?) when she gets married (ok sure I guess so, why not.) anyway some quick numbers scribbling (17+16) indicates that if that's true, Meve cant be any younger than 33 during the game. however this relies on her getting married and having a kid in the same year which is possible but a lil unlikely. adding a couple years seemed right which would make her around 35.

(especially b/c it seems like the intention in the game is that reynard is a little bit older than meve but no way of knowing how much older. 3-4 years seems reasonable. 6-7 years seemed like a lil much. 35 it is.) 

ur welcome, pls cite this very rigorous piece of research and mathematical reasoning if u use it in a paper (jk lol it doesn't matter)

anyway thats enough fun for one week, back to trying to teach myself time series analysis b/c the actual instructor is kinda not great. tune in next week for maybe some more fiction that is not just vaguely coherent rambling and addition. also im almost done making a new gasket for the projector ft some more math.

ps. i did not even attempt to nail down a concrete age for gascon. he is obviously older than 8. he does not appear to be as old as meve. my headcanon is he’s round about 24 or 25 since he’s gotta be old enough to have enough life experience that a large group of cutthroats would willingly follow him around and do what he says but he can’t be so old that him becoming an orphan is not too much of a tragic struggle for him. 24-8=16, assume his sad backstory event didn’t happen the same year the king dies so - approx. 5 more years would make him around 11 at the time. 

[tarantulas4davey]

you know that micheal reeves video where he got a twitter bot to decorate his room? yeah race did that. it was a mistake. someone got him a fire hydrant.

eventually they do a cover of a song together with race singing and al on keys and everyone loses their goddamned minds

race has a habit of vaguely alluding to crimes he may or may not have committed in videos to the point to where theres a fifteen minute comp of all the times hes talked about doing illegal activities. like once the were playing a game and race had to pick a lock and he started complaining that it wasnt realistic before abruptly stopping and claiming it was a joke and that hes never picked a lock before. hes alluded to commiting tax fraud, breaking and entering, arson, and murder just to name a few. even al doesnt know whats a joke and whats the truth any more.

jack (or some other newsie idk my brain is fried like a chicken wing) doesnt cuss on his channel so when they play among us with him, al and race on their best behavior to try not to cuss and it was going well until al killed race, winning the round and race immediately shouted "you goddamned bitch ass mother fucker" so from jacks (maybe?) perspective its just "you bleep bleep bleep bleep mother bleep." race feels really bad for it after but its fucking hilarious

when race is scared al acts kinda indifferent or like he doesnt notice but fans started to realize that when race gets really scared al will just start talking about whatever and talk over the game to distract race or call out when theres a cheap jumpscare coming up. if you point it out to him al gets really embarrassed as per usual

the way that i smile like an idiot whenever i get an ask cause y’all are honestly better at this than me i just happened to give you something to fixate on

- he WOULD do that. al kept the fire hydrant in the corner of the game room cause it makes him laugh

- oh everyone flips their shit. it’s not as insane a reaction as them singing iconic disney duets in a karaoke stream though, everyone cried during “i see the light” from tangled (al is flynn, and race is rapunzel. it’s the only full cover of albert singing on the internet and everyone fucking loves it)

- oh al does it too. they’ve been best friends their whole life and spend like,,, all their time together so fans are trying to figure out if they’re bullshitting or not. for the most part they are, but they DID used to tag stuff and race knows how to pick locks from sneaking into school after hours. they also burned all their old work at the end of every year but they never technically committed arson. (al also got into a lot of fights but he was underage in all of them and they were never that bad so ✨no assault charges for him✨) so like they’ve technically committed crimes but not all the ones they allude to, and they can’t their stories straight because of it. race tends to do it more so al is like “did you actually do illegal shit without me or is this a bit”

- (the one that doesn’t swear on his channel is 100% specs or romeo, take your pick) everyone, ESPECIALLY al, laughs their asses off at the bleeped version but race literally offers to edit the whole video cause he feels guilty (what a good lad 🥺)

- sjhdbdhd i love this one like,,,, extra a lot. albert does a lot of little things to help race (or anyone, really) feel more comfortable without calling attention to it unless their embarrassed by it or just don’t wanna talk about it but if you call him on it or notice and mention it later he goes scarlet cause HE knows what he’s doing but YOU aren’t supposed to be able to tell. he’s just a considerate boy that thinks about the people around him and it makes me soft

✨i love they sm✨

[drawlfoy]

Mirror, Mirror P.5

masterlist (<- to read parts 1-4) request guidelines want to be tagged? 

pairing: draco x ravenclaw!reader

request: nope!

summary: y/n has admired draco from afar for a hot minute. what will happen when they’re finally paired up to do rounds together and run into the mirror of erised?

warnings: language, mentions of being very very ill, my terrible editing skills, way too much dialogue

a/n: here it is :) it’s been a bit. the finale will hopefully be posted this tues! i hope all of you guys have been continuing to social distance and i hope everyone reading this is healthy! also, important update: the first part of just a call away has been postponed until this monday (i originally expected it to be posted tomorrow but i’ve hardly been able to work on it at all). enjoy!

word count: 2.3k ;)

music recs:

permanent tags:  @gruffle1 @missmulti @cleopatera @hahaboop @accio-rogers @geeksareunique @eltanin-malfoy @war-sword @cams-lynn

tags for mirror, mirror:  @theres-a-dog-outside-omg​ @mey-rapp @kaibie @blackpinkdolan @sugarbby99

“Rena, I am going to kill you!” 

Y/N’s roommate looked up, the fear of Merlin struck into her eyes. The Transfiguration study guide in front of her lay entirely forgotten as she watched her friend slam the door and flop on the bed. “Oh?”

Y/N flung off her robe and tossed it on the floor. “When were you gonna tell me that you talked to Malfoy about me?” 

Her roommate narrowed her eyes, leaning forward in her chair and propping her chin up on her hand. “What are you talking about? He approached me and asked if you knew what the mirror was. I said you did. That was it.”

The venom seeped out of Y/N’s expression as the realization crept in.

“Oh. Oh, Rena, I’m sorry. I had no idea. He told me that you told him ‘everything’.”

“And you took a Slytherin’s word? Malfoy’s word? Honestly, Y/N, you give me a headache.” Rena sent a gentle smile her way. “What happened? Did you tell him?”

A sour feeling crept into Y/N’s chest as the memory she had suppressed on the walk to her dorm surfaced like bile in her throat. The rest of their shift was tense at best and downright agonizing at worst. Malfoy was uncharacteristically quiet, wringing his hands over and over again and scratching the back of his neck when he exhausted his wrists. Y/N knew that she was bright red by the time that they said their goodbyes--which really wasn’t much of a goodbye, just an uncomfortable nod before they parted ways to their respective dormitories--and cursed the fact that their ending spot was right under a torch. 

She would much rather prefer him to just straight up tell her he wasn’t into her; however, she supposed he technically did, that week or so ago in the Great Hall when he had told her he wasn’t into Ravenclaws.

Maybe I’m the one that needs to pull back. Maybe I’m actually the git in this situation and I’m making Malfoy feel uncomfortable.

“Yeah. I did.”

“And?”

“That’s it. He doesn’t feel the same way.” The words left her mouth feeling like heavy lead, weighing her breath down.

Rena stood up from her chair, her face softening. “He said that?”

“He didn’t say anything, really.”

“Well that doesn’t mean he doesn’t feel the same way,” said her roommate. Her voice was painfully cheerful for Y/N. “Maybe he’s just nervous.”

Y/N offered a weak smile as she pulled her hair out of her ponytail and got up to rifle through her drawers to find something to sleep in. “It’s over, Rena. I don’t know why I’ve entertained this for so long. It wasn’t even a thing to begin with. I just want to go to bed.”

“All I’m saying is that he’s Malfoy, Y/N. I’ve literally never seen him flirt before in his life. I don’t think he knows how. Maybe he’s just being mean because he doesn’t know any other way?”

“I think I just want to stop thinking about it.” Y/N began changing into her nightclothes quickly with her back to Rena. “I want to go to bed and forgot about it and get my O on the Transfiguration exam tomorrow and just never think about rich daddy’s boys again. No matter how cute they look!”

Y/N tossed her old robes in her hamper, turning to Rena one more time with a blazing expression on her face that said I dare you to disagree.

“All I’m saying,” Rena said slowly, “Is that Malfoy didn’t seem like a total rat when he came up and asked me about you. It just seems strange that he would do that if he had no interest in you.”

“The only interest he has is in antagonizing me,” Y/N snapped. “He’s a class A git and I hate him.”

Rena raised an eyebrow, her expression slightly amused. “Whatever you say, Y/N. We can talk tomorrow morning. I think you need some sleep.”

oOo

Y/N’s dreams were torturous--just a loop, replaying over and over again, of her interactions with a certain Slytherin. She was dragged through her memories against her will, feeling the initial admiration of seeing him read in the courtyard for the first time, crumbling under the anxiety of their shift assignments, suffocating through the tension of their final meeting, reeling at the way his hair looked under the torch lights…

It was too much. She awoke with a pounding headache and a throat so sore that she may as well have swallowed a healthy spoonful of fire over the night. Her eyes hurt to open, like the edges of her eyelids had been lined with Dittany. 

“Merlin, Y/N, you look like shit.” A voice that sounded suspiciously like her roommate wafted from her right side, but she couldn’t be sure. “I’ve gotta get you to Madame Pomfrey.”

“Rena?” 

“Y/N?” 

If she hadn’t felt like she was toeing the line between the dead and the living she would’ve been sure that the tone in her roommate’s voice was tinged with amusement. She tried to croak something more out.

“Don’t worry, Y/N,” Rena cut in before she could try any harder. “I’ll be back in just a minute. Don’t try and get up, alright? You need your strength.”

Y/N nodded--or at least, she tried--and turned back into her pillow to sleep. A part of her mind registered that she had a Transfiguration exam today and then rounds that night with Malfoy, but as a cold bead of sweat ran down her spine, the thoughts were pushed to the back of her mind. He could wait. He’d already taken up her entire night by filling her dreams and she was not eager to see him again any time soon.

“Y/N?” The door creaked open and her roommate’s voice dragged her back to lucidity. “Hi girly. Can you walk?”

Y/N forced her eyes open and winced at the light filtering through the curtains. It was hardly light out, but the weak morning light sent pangs through her head. The heavy quilt that she had been burrowed under was lifted up off of her...and the shivers started.

Her entire body began shaking, her teeth clattering together so hard that she was afraid she would break them. She wondered if anyone had ever chipped their teeth from fever chills.

“Just swing your legs around the edge...yes, just like that…”

Rena’s hands held her shoulders with a firm grip as she shakily made her way to her feet, swaying slightly. 

“Fuck, Y/N, you’re absolutely shaking…”

“Mmmhmmm” was all Y/N had the sense to use as a reply.

“All you need to do is make it down the stairs. I can put you in a wheelchair and push you the rest of the way.”

“Love you,” Y/N mumbled as her friend guided her down the stairs. Even though she’d been walking up the stairs to her dorm for years, everything felt oddly foreign to her through her feverish haze.

“Love you t--whoa! Easy.” Rena caught Y/N from near demise as she almost missed a stair. “You’re almost there, doll. Just hold on a bit more.”

“I need you to....” find someone to cover my rounds tonight she tried to say, but the words caught on what felt like daggers in her throat as she felt the wall. 

“Focus on getting down the stairs,” Rena interrupted. “You can tell me once we’re on the way to Pomfrey’s.”

Finally, she made it down onto the last step and allowed herself to be guided into a seat. Exhausted from her trip, she slumped back in the chair and forgot about her request as she drifted back off into her feverish dreams.

This time, they were different. Instead of interactions that had actually happened, her brain took her through a different whirlwind of events. A flurry of sensations met her--a thumb dragging across her slightly parted lips, a chaste kiss placed on her neck, a hand softly squeezing hers, a warm breath fanning across her cheek, a pair of just barely blue eyes staring down at her with so much affection that her heart skipped, a rough hand shaking her shoulder, the sting of something pressing into her wrist (a wand, she thought absently), voices around her calling her name…

Her eyes shot open as she recoiled from a burst of unbearable cold across her chest. The ceiling of the infirmary wing greeted her. Her torso was wet, and once she cast her eyes down to the end of her bed, she could see why.

Madame Pomfrey stood next to Professor Trelawny and Headmaster Dumbledore, brandishing an empty bucket in her hand. 

“Thank goodness! She’s awake!”

Pomfrey sent Trelawny an irritated look as she rushed forth, muttering incantations and running diagnostic tests on Y/N’s body. 

“What...what happened?” she managed, trying to sit up.

“Stay down,” Pomfry commanded, turning to her nightstand to mix a concoction of various potion ingredients. 

“I just had the flu.”

Trelawny moved to the side of the bed to clasp her hand firmly in hers, a kind look in her loony eyes. “Miss Y/L/N, I’m afraid that wasn’t the case. You had an acute case of Dream Sickness. We’re lucky that you were able to wake up when you did. You’re even luckier that your roommate noticed and brought you down here.”

Y/N knitted her eyebrows together. “I’m sorry. Dream...what?”

“Dream Sickness,” the headmaster finished. “A very rare affliction that primarily affects the overthinkers in the wizarding community. Naturally, you Ravenclaws are at a higher risk than other students.”

“So who gave it to me?”

“No, dear,” said Trelawny. “It’s not contagious. It can happen to anyone, but it’s more common if you spent time around powerful magical artifacts. Have you?”

Y/N cringed at the thought. 

“Er...yes, I guess I have. I ran into the Mirror of Erised on one of my prefect rounds. I never lingered, though.”

“That would do it,” Dumbledore mused. “The mirror has a tendency of...inflaming emotions. I ought to locate it and put it in a safer place.”

“So I’m okay? I can go back to classes? I have a Transfiguration exam today, and I’d really like it if I could make it.”

“McGonagall’s Transfiguration exam, I presume?” he asked. 

“Yes. It’s later in the afternoon. I promise I’ll be careful!”

The adults beside her shared uncomfortable glances.

“Dear,” Trelawny began, “You’ve been here for two days.” 

The air was sucked out of her lungs as the realization kicked in. “But that’s impossible! I was only sleeping for a little bit. And I had rounds! How did I miss my rounds?”

Pomfrey seemed mildly sympathetic as she emptied the mixture she had been stirring into a crystal goblet and offered it to her. “It’s normal to be disoriented after a bout of Dream Sickness. Professor Flitwick is sure to understand the situation, and if he does not, I am willing to vouch for you. Now drink. You have some recovering to do.”

oOo

Rena Severjyn was always the confrontational type. It had been a shock to her as well as her family when she’d been sorted into Ravenclaw (with all the bookworms and the teachers’ pets, as her older brothers said to her) instead of Gryffindor, but she’d grown to love her house. Studying came more naturally than cliff-jumping, or whatever it was that Gryffindors did, but when it came down to it, she had no problem with telling someone off.

So when she ran across a deliciously alone Draco Malfoy reading in the courtyard, she had no trouble walking right up to him.

“Hey, arsehat.” She plopped down next to him as he started, nearly dropping the book on the gravel walkway. “We need to talk.”

“Severjyn,” he greeted, his tone even but his eyes flickering nervously. “Do you know where your roommate is? I had to do my rounds alone last night.”

“She’s in the hospital wing. But no matter. I want to know why you’re being such an intolerable prat to her.”

His mouth opened and closed a few times, clearly trying to cope with the fact that he was at a loss for words.

“Spit it out, Malfoy. I don’t have all day.”

“Is she okay? Did something happen to her?”

Rena rolled her eyes. “No, she just decided to spend more of her time around Pomfrey. Yes, something happened to her. She’ll be fine. You’re not answering my question.”

“I don’t understand.” The crease between his brow deepened with worry.

“She said she told you how she felt and you didn’t say anything about it!”

“I’m sorry. I just got nervous.”

“Are you dense?” Rena’s voice became shriller. “You told me yourself you fancied her, and you can’t even manage a measly ‘me too’? Even though you had the whole of fucking two hours to do it?”

A blush spread across his fair cheeks as he slammed his book closed and stood up. “It’s not that easy. You know it isn’t.”

“It’s never that easy. But she was able to do it, and you even told her that you weren’t into her! Honestly, I cannot believe you.”

“Please just…” Draco evaded eye contact, dropping his eyes to the floor and grinding his toes into the gravel. “Just leave me be. I promise I’ll talk to her once she’s better. Just don’t tell her, okay? I want to do this myself.”

Rena rolled her eyes. “You better.”

final a/n: finale is coming out soon! let me know what you thought :)

[futurewriter2000]

Convince me

A/N: This took me so long and no I won’t edit it because I just don’t want to read it again. I’m just gonna listen to my George Michael and chill at 2am.

PAIRING: Fred Weasley x reader

REQUEST: Could you do a Fred Weasley x Reader when their in their fourth year where they both are secretly in love with eachother. But one day George asks somethin like what do you like in a guy and since shes a few months older then them she jokingly says she likes older men. Later Percy asks her out she says no but Fred doesn't know that and thinks she said yes cause "she likes older men". And theres angst and stuff.

XX

 Sometimes you couldn’t describe what you felt. You knew exactly when you were angry; the gritting of your teeth, heart pumping faster, blood reaching your cheeks, nerves thinning, brain clouded... or when you were sad; usually feeling like your heart was in a dark pit, floating in a shallow sea of sorrow. 

But this feeling- this emotion- this whatever this is, you couldn’t describe it with words. You couldn’t even figure it out what this really was. It wasn’t just an affinity, nor attrection and desire but it wasn’t love either. So what was it? 

When your eyes meet, your heart stops for a second and it starts pounding in your chest. When his smile reaches his cheeks and is directed to you, your hands become clammy and feel yourself get sweaty. When he speaks with his voice, your stomach twists and starts doing rhythmic gymnastics but what happens when he’s close and his hand brushes against yours?- Combination of chaos, hormones and emotions. A mess to put it subtle.

“Hey, Cherry.” you snapped your head at the ginger boy, your eyes narrowing at him. 

Cherry. The nickname George and Fred thought of when they pulled a hair-colouring prank on you. Your hair was vibrant red, sticking out in every direction and because of the poor inovention, it kept letting red drops fall on the ground, turning them into cherries. It kept going on for three days. 

“Stop calling me that, George. If anyones hair is cherry, it’s yours.” you rolled your eyes at him. 

“George? What in the right mind made you think I am George and not Fred.” he scrunched his eyebrows together and crossed his arms over his chest as if he was offended. 

You could only wish it was Fred talking to you at the moment but he wasn’t. It was his brother. His taller brother whose nose was more crooked, eyes more round and brown, lips more thin yet more rosier, shoulders less broad, more brawny body and grin almost reflecting his brother’s yet with less mischief. Oh, and one more thing. You weren’t in love with George and the energy around was quite different than around Fred.

“Don’t bother, George.” you slightly pushed his shoulder so his arms uncrosed and fell down against his body. “You know it doesn’t work with me.”

He bent down, looking directly in your eyes and wondering. “You never cease to amaze me. From all the people that can tell us apart, you are the only one.” 

A blush crept on your cheeks, flattered by his words. “You make me swoon with your choice in words,George Weasley.” you crinckled your nose at him and started walking forward. 

Yet, he was more nervous when he walked. Tensed as even, You quirked an eyevrow at him and he smiled awkwardly. “Swoon, you say, I wouldn’t be surprised because, well...” he stopped in front of you, showing himself off. “Look at me.”

“I am.” you narrowed your eyes. “Can’t say I see much.” you joked and he let out a scoff.

“Oh, okay Mrs. Heartbreaker. What is much for you?” 

You laughed at his response, looking over his shoulder and seeing a 7th year Gryffindor Quidditch Keeper laugh with his roommate. “You see that Gryffindor over-there.” you nodded behind him and he turned around to see the 7th year. 

“Really? Oliver Wood?”

“Not just him. Your brother there isn’t so bad either. It’s like killing two birds with one stone- or more likely two birds killing one stone.” you winked and George laughed.

“Percy? As in my older brother Percy??” he kept looking at you with shock.

“How older exactly?” you continued to tease.

“Like too old for your picky arse- are you serious?” he still couldn’t believe his hearing. “Percy?”

“You know what the say; the older you get the more experianced you are.” you winked at him, walking away as his mouth fell agape. 

“Your dirty mind cannot compare to your innocent name, Cherry.” he spoke behind you.

“It’s always the most innoncent that are the wildest in bed.” you turned around with a grin, waved at him and left for your dorms.

And it was not all lie. You liked Percy even if he was a stuck up sometimes, he could really be sweet with you, caring even. You’ve never seen Percy Weasley rested nor relaxed. He was always trying to achieve something. His ambitions drove his mind almost to insanity.

Yet, you remembered this one day, back in your 2nd Year, he was sleeping in the library. His head was supported by his hand and his horn-rimmed glasses were on the pile of papers, his other hand on top of a few open books that were on top of some other closed books. And though at the time, you and Percy only exchanged a nodd or a simple “hi”, you decided to wake the Prefect up. 

‘ Your hand touched his shoulder and you rocked him gently. “Percy.” you spoke very quietly, trying not to frighten him. “Percy.” you tried again and he opened his eyes slowly. They were just like Fred’s, you noticed. When his mind awoke as well, he jumped up-straiht and started looking around. 

“Merlin! What time is it?!” he shouted and you shushed him.

“It’s late. That’s why I woke you up.” 

He looked up, calmed down and smiled softly. “You’re (y/n), right?”

You smiled and nodded. “Yes. That’s me.” you kept smiling. “I didn’t know you knew my real name due to your brothers always calling me Cherry.” 

“My brother’s can quite step over the limit but they don’t mean harm.” he smiled as well. It was as if you were looking a completely different side of him. “Sit.” he offered, gesturing his hand to the chair. “I hear you’re doing great in all of your classess except Charms. I could tutor you if you would like.” 

“YES!” you blurted out desperatly. “I mean...” you looked down with a blush and fumbled your fingers. “I’d love to.” ‘ 

Charms was always hell for you. Always. Since the first year and you could notice that Flitwick wasn’t very fond of you as well. Fred and George, as great as they were with Charms, were never much on school and tutoring after-school hours wasn’t their idea of living. So, Percy was the one who always helped you with your school work, especially Charms and since that night, you got to know a completely different side of him. He could be patient and sweet. He takes his time with explaining how to do a wand movement or how to figure out Arithmancy when you decided to take the class.  

Yes, you liked Percy Weasley but he wasn’t his brother. He wasn’t Fred. He wasn’t the one you felt a mess for.

---

It was odd though. The next time you saw Percy, he was a bit on edge. He kept playing with his fingers, his mouth kept being curved up into this awkward smile and his voice kept shaking- speaking far too quickly for your ears to catch his words.

“Percy.” you put your hand on his, looking into his eyes. “You keep bouncing your leg and that is really distracting. I can’t concentrate.”

He sat solid on that chair like a rock, watching you back before shaking his head and smiling softly.” Sorry. I’m just a bit nervous.”

“May I ask you why?” you smiled and dropped down your pen to listen.

“Uhm...” he chuckled awkwardly, avoiding your eyes. “Well, George told me you fancied me for a while and I sort of fancy you back but I never wanted to say anything because of the-” he stopped for a while, reading your expression that stayed just the same as he started telling you this.”-age thing.” he continued with caution. “But he said you actually prefer that so I thought, maybe. if you want, we can go to Hogsmeade together next week?” 

You stared, empty for words, confused at what he just said,- what? What just happened?

“Percy...” you started with a disappointing sigh, seeing as his shoulders dropped. 

“It’s alright. I knew-”

“No, Percy. I do like you and if I do go on the Hogsmeade date with you, what would happen after? After you grauate and leave. I still have 3 years of Hogwarts left and you have a carrier to think about.” you smiled and put your hand on top of his. You could see his mind clear up, the pieces coming together. “Plus...I know you are still in love with Penny and I- well, I’m also in love with somebody else.”

You could see him exhale the breath he was holding it. In a way, he expected to be disappointed but if he was honest with himself, he was actually relieved. 

“Does that someone else have to do with my brother?” he smirked at you and you felt your eyes widen at him. 

He knew!

“You knew!” 

“The puppy eyes, the obvious red stain on your cheeks. It doesn’t take a genious to figure out.” he chuckled and leaned back on the chair.

“Yeah, well obviously it takes your brother quite some time to figure it out.” you sighed and leaned back as well.

“Just tell him then.”

“You tell Penny.” you snapped back.

“Tell her what?”

“That you want her back.”

“I do not!” he denied but you knew he was lying through his front teeth. You fixiated your gaze on him and he smiled awkwardly. “Perhaps I do but like you said, my Hogwarts years are coming to an end and we’re both going seperate way. All I want to say to you is that don’t wait as long as I did.” 

---

The next time you saw Fred Weasley, he wasn’t in his best of moods. You walked in the Gryffindor common room and saw two red-heads together, whispering. 

You rolled your eyes and made your way to the armchair opposite. “Hey, there strangers.”

Their heads popped up. George smiled meanwhile Fred didn’t. “Hey.” they both said in unison and then started whispering again. 

You knitted your eyebrows together and moved closer to them, trying to start a conversation. “What are the two of you doing?” 

“Noone of your business, Cherry.” said Fred with a forced grin. 

You leaned back, amazed by the attitude Fred just gave you and looking at George who shared the same expression as you. 

“Okay.” you said and stood up. “Guess, I’ll leave you both alone.” 

“Come on, Ch-” George tried to speak but Fred cut him off.

“Yeah. I think you know where my brother’s dorm is but I don’t think he’s there.” 

You turned around. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing.” Fred mumbled and turned his eyes back on the paper he was working with his brother. 

You kept looking at him. Shocked? Furious? With the most horrible feeling in our stomach? - More or so. Furious. 

“Guess, I will. He seems to be far better of a company than the two of you.” and you stomped up to the boys dormitory, walking into Percy’s room and starting to rant. “Your brother is such a prick! I cannot believe I fell for him!” you sat down on the bed and then got up again, throwing your arms around nervously. “Firstly, he’s all flirty and touchy with me! Always Cherry this, Cherry that! I honestly thought he might like me back but noooo,, not Fred-right! NOT FRED! He’s just gonna make a girl feel more daft then she already feels!” you turned to point finger at Percy who was grinning at you, flicking his eyes to his right. 

You looked to your right side only to see Oliver Wood, sitting and grinning on his bed. 

You covered your lips with your hands, feeling more embarrased than you did with Fred. “I didn’t see you there.” you spoke shyly and he just laughed. 

“I’m glad you didn’t. Then I wouldn’t see this intimidating side of you.” he said and put his hands away from the books. “So I gather you fancy Fred?”

“What gives you that idea?” you joked.

“Just a guess.” he joked as well, getting up and stretching his arms. “It’s funny because Fred fancies you back, you know?” 

“No, he doesn’t.” you laughed in denial. 

“He does?” Percy sceptically looked at Oliver. 

“Yeah.”

“I don’t believe you.” you said, still laughing. 

“Want me to prove it?” he rolled his eyes.

“How?- actually no.” you shook your head, standing up. “I- Fred doesn’t like me. He just doesn’t and he just proved it. He would never act the way he did right now.” 

“(Y/n). That’s what guys do-”

“No, no.” you shook your head. “I am better than him. Better than planning schemes and trying to prove a point.” you said and walked through the doors. 

---

Well, you thought you were better than that. Fred’s been driving you insane all week. He kept teasing you, something about dating older guys and it didn’t bother you much because you only retorded something back but he crossed the line when he told other people you were shagging one of them.

You stormed into their room, red-stained, furious. “HOW?!” you clenched your fists and stared at his eyes, meanwhile Oliver just smiled.

“Just follow my lead.”

---

You never really knew what Oliver meant by following his lead but you did what he told you to do. You waited in the common room but since his Quidditch practice took a bit more longer than he told you it would, you decided to read a book. 

It was until the loud voices came echoing from the portrait hole and the whole Quidditch team reappeared. 

You looked up at Oliver and he smiled at you, meanwhile Fred behind them quirked an eyebrow. 

“Come on. Go.” Angelina pushed Oliver, meanwhile Fred shot his head to her. 

“What’s going on?” Fred asked, switching his gazes between Oliver, you and Angelina. 

It was until right that moment when Percy came from behind them and leaned on Fred’s shoulder. “Oh, so he’s finally going to ask her out.”

Fred now shot his head to him. “I thought you asked her out?”

“I did but she made me realize I still have feelings for Penny and that because of the age gap, it wouldn’t work out.” Percy said and Fred shot his eyes back to the laughing pair at the couch. 

“Then she’d say no to him as well.” he said more nervously. 

“Wouldn’t know. Wood can be pretty good with the ladies-” he said but Fred was already with the two of you. 

You continued to giggle, touching Oliver’s arm and not taking a second glance at the boy who stood above you. He cleared his throat and both of you looked up to him.

“Yes, Fred?” 

“What’s going on here?” 

“Just two people enjoying each other’s company...alone.” 

“Aren’t the two of you a bit too cosy?” he kept glaring.

“So what if we are?” you crossed your arms over your chest. Was he really getting jealous? 

“Why would you care, Freddie?” Wood grinned, leaning back and wrapping his arm around your shoulders. “It’s not like you like her. Do you?” 

He glared into Oliver’s eyes and felt his body shake. He wanted to punch him and tore that arm around you off him. He gritted his teeth and clenched his fist, red staining his cheeks. 

“Fred?” you asked and his eyes shot to yours who looked so innocently at his. “Do you?” 

Fred kept exchanging looks. He wanted to deny. To say no or something but the way you were looking at him, he just thought that maybe- just maybe you liked him back.

But that was impossible. 

“Uh-I-”

“Oh bloody hell this is torturing.” Oliver groaned. “Just admit it. You like her, she likes you- end of story.” he stood up and clasped his hands together. “Now go make out and thank me later.” he started walking away. “Preferably with those nice sour gummy worms.” and he was out of sight, leaving both you and Fred blushing and awkwardly standing alone. 

“Do- do you really like me?” he looked up in your eyes  and sat down next to you. 

“I mean there’s no point in hiding it anymore.” you laughed and tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear. 

“But I thought you liked older guys.” 

“Who told you that?” you smiled and felt the tension thinning.

“George said-”

“George?” you laughed. “All we ever do is joke around and make stupid sarcastic retords. Why would you ever believe George?” 

“I don’t know-” he smiled. “I just guess since I like you as well it felt serious at the time.”

A smile wiped itself from your lips.

It was true. Oliver and Percy were right. 

And then the biggest curve your lips could form appeared on our cheeks.”Really?”

“You don’t believe me?” he rolled his eyes, smiling. 

“I mean-”

His hand reached for your cheek and he pulled you into a kiss. A soft, short kiss just for the first taste. He pulled away, looking at your eyes and smiling. “Believe me now?” 

“I think I’ll need some more convincing.” 

[gritt3y]

ok uhhh kinda important announcement? sorry it’s so so sudden but i wanted to disclose this before i got on with the rest of my day since it’s been giving me immense discomfort to be hiding it for so long and just ahwhw i wanted to make this clear before i start to become alive again and active and such so ahwhwh

this is not at all a danger thing or something gone wrong in the household but ahwhwh i wanted to let y’all know anyways cuz i think it’s pretty important, at least to me, and it’s a really important thing for my identity right now

oh god i’m so nervous ahwhwhw why are you so nervous grit whyyyy ahwhwh

ok

i, think, i’m, a median system? a system that has its headmates kinda have one ultimate identity but not at the same time?

i thought for sure i was a singlet back when i joined tumblr and became active and such and i was vv confident that i wasn’t plural, but now i just feel

weird ahwhwh

recently i’ve just been feeling these, odd feelings? feelings like i never was truly alone? it’s just, so weird for me i can barely type rn i’m so scared hah ahwhwhw but like

in the beginning i thought for sure i was just one person

those who know me well know how i typed long ago, and that truly used to be my typing style for a while

but over time i felt this new “state” or state of being? it’s just, bruhhhh ahwhhww i feel so weird rn i’m ahwhwhw so nervous ahhh ahwhwhw

but like,

i first thought it was just a new typing style or whatever but i slowly came to realize it was something more than that

this “state of being” had their own desires, wishes, views on the world, even gender pronouns and it was like

wow, i never realized it ahwhw

i kinda realize how plural systems feel when they discover they’re plural and it’s just

wild honestly wow ahwhwhw

now by no means am i claiming i know how they feel, as my headmates are not as distinct as others, but they feel just distinct enough, if that makes sense

it’s just,

crazy honestly i’m ahwhwhw

so as time passed this headmate began to become the dominant one and the other state of being began to go dormant for a long time, months even

and i tried to act it off for the longest time that they were “just another typing style” or “just a side of me” but like

it’s so weird man i, never got those types of experiences before it’s insane ahwhwhw

but like,

time passed and the feelings just grew more and more

these “states of being” each had their own desires and views

i’ll go more in-depth about what those are maybe in a future post when i’m more relaxed but just

ahwhhw i’m so scared rn it’s crazyyyy ahwhwhw

but actually just, typing it out

i’m beginning to feel a lot better about myself

when i used all-encompassing pronouns like us or we it just felt, so natural

sometimes when i’m talking to myself to round my thoughts i automatically say we and it’s just, so new to me ahwhwh

so after time passed those states of being or headmates as we like to call them began to grow stronger and stronger in presence and just

man ahwhwhw it’s surreal

the realization and just, the comfort it’s bringing is crazy ahwhwh

so fast-forward to now and a new headmate came into existence recently, me, the one typing this currently ahwhwh

i think i came to existence around, 1 or 2 months ago? the system needed a sort of “auto-pilot” person to take care of the daily stuff that the others can’t really handle that well (school, chores, dealing with rens, etc etc ahwhw)

so yeah ahwhw

you might notice i type less animated than some of our other headmates (no capitalizing no emojis etc ahwhw) and i might come across as harsh or cold, but dw ahwhw i see myself to be friendly, as long as you don’t anger me or my friends we good ahwhwh

also just a quick disclaimer that while we all identify in a way as grit, we are distinct from one another and have our own names

for example my name is none, literally ahwhw i know that’s really odd but i’m comfy with it so ahwhw

feral (again literally ahwhw) is our headmate who’s very hyper, uses emojis, etc etc ahwhw

we tend to co-con (co-conscious) frequently, which is why i’m never really seen and can’t be noticed most of the time ahwhwh

finally theres wholesome (again, literally ahwhw) who’s vv sweet, the sweetest we both met personally and just, ahwhwhw they’re a bean tbh ahwhwh

they probably dissociate the least when they’re out, they’re very stable and just, overall very very wholesome literally ahwhw

i probably dissociate the most, as feral wants to come out frequently or co-con and it’s just ahwhw a mess tbh ahwhw

honestly most of the times feral edits a lot of the posts i make to kinda hide our identity as a system and kinda go off as a singlet identity but just

it honestly made me really uncomfortable, like i was fine with it in the beginning, we all were, but over time we just became so uncomfy as we knew we weren’t exactly a singlet but not exactly a very distinct system either and just ahwhw being in the between felt odd, really odd ahwhwh

but now we spilled and we’re rlly rlly happy now and just

ahwhw

i’m honestly really scared how all of y’all will react and just

god ahwh

so tldr

we are grit, as whole, we all identify as grit

but we also don’t

we’re a median system ahwhwh

so for the sake of this blog in particular i think we want to pursue single pronouns for now, as i know it’s a bit odd with the whole we and us pronouns ahwhwh

but they do make us happy ahwhw so if y’all use we or us on us we love it keep doing it ahwhwh

but yeah!

just for the record, i use he/him and they/them pronouns, feral uses they/them, and wholesome uses she/her and most often they/them pronouns

we actually sort of? prefer if y’all just call us by our singular identity, grit, but i in particular really like being called by my headmate name, none so if y’all notice me when i’m typing or such uhhh hello yellow ahwhwh

but yeah that’s all! feral and wholesome might put some notes or reblogs under this post whenever they want to and uhhh yeah!

oh also i want to let y’all know that yes, we do have a good idea of what each headmate did and stuff like that, so if y’all asked feral and wholesome they can recount exactly what i’m doing and yeah ahwhw we all in here ahwhw

anyways uhh that’s it!

if y’all have any questions shoot, and just uhhh

yeah we still super scared ahwhw

but ye! soon the weekend is coming and feral can respond to y’all texts y’all have been waiting a long time and just, ye!

sorry i should end this

okay ending it ahwhw

[veeranger]

ok here are my thoughts on SPV3.2′s rendition of Halo CE’s first level: The Pillar of Autumn, which i played last night. 

please keep in mind these are my subjective opinions based on my single playthrough of the level on normal difficulty, and that i have nothing but respect for the obviously large amount of effort put into this mod by its creators. 

first of all its great that this level skips the camera orientation shit even on normal difficulty, thank god. 

so basically the level plays out exactly the same as it did in the original game with the exception of the weapons behaving differently, until you get to that one staircase room that was a nightmare on legendary in the original game. its clever actually because the enemies are positioned on the same side as you but above so you run up the stairs and turn around to find yourself face to face with....a brute! not an elite but a brute in the halo 2 style. 

with the brute comes their signature brute shot, brute plasma rifle, a new brute plasma pistol, and a new weapon called the shredder, a brute version of the needler that lacks the projectile tracking of its sister weapon but has a much higher projectile speed making it very fun to use and extremely deadly to unshielded foes including the brutes, who all lack energy shields like the halo 2 and halo reach variants, which makes sense. gameplay wise they’re much less of damage sponges than they were in halo 2 however i did notice that theyre markedly less aggressive again compared to their halo 2 iteration. i have yet to see a brute do its signature charge, but im going to chalk this up to engine limitations and not developer oversight, for all i know these brutes are probably just reskinned elites with no shields. brute chieftains are also missing alongside their iconic gravity hammers, though i assume this is engine limitations preventing something like that from existing. 

 now all this said i am sorely missing the spiker as the brute’s signature weapon because way too many of these bastards are carrying brute shots which can make encounters a bit frustrating at times, while paradoxically making other encounters far too easy due to the weapon’s ability to one shot weaker enemies and carry much more ammo than its halo 2/3 counterparts. it also makes vehicle segments suck sometimes because there are 2-4 brutes with these things knocking your warthog around but thats for the next level.

anyway back to the level, it quickly takes a turn into uncharted territory with a major detour that has you going through large storage areas and a lot more hallways before you finally end up back on track in the original level. i dont hate this per say and it certainly spices the familiar levels up but i can’t say i love how long these new areas are. i think i spent at least 30 minutes on this level and most of that was the new areas. now this isnt bad per say and the areas were not explicitly poorly designed, though i wasnt the biggest fan to be honest, its more so that the level becomes a slog after a while with no end in sight. i also think this addition muddles the intended game design of a tight corridor shooter than blossoms out into a massive open sandbox in the second level but that is not relevant really so i will not actually put stock into that opinion. 

after getting through the new stuff you just drop back into the original level and the rest of it plays out basically the same as it would otherwise, new sandbox notwithstanding. if this level and the second level are showing me any kind of pattern, its that i can expect every level to just suddenly branch into new content before eventually falling back on the original level path and playing out like that. more on this in other level reviews i’m sure. 

all said it was not the best level ive ever played and it dragged on too much but i wouldnt say it was all bad. i had fun more or less and i will say the level ran together pretty organically even with the new additions. oh yeah theres a few extremely minor environmental manipulations you can do like turning gravity down in some areas giving you moon physics and turning on auto turrets in some battles. nothing major but still cool. 

i dont think i want to speak on weapons yet because i havent gotten to use everything yet but i dont like this mod’s assault rifle. it added the smg from halo 2/3 (which i also dont like in this mod) so now the ar is the 32 round variant with a severely nerfed rate of fire which doesnt feel very good to me. the smg has way too much kick to fill the roll of the original ce assault rifle so i feel a little lost without a reliable spray and pray gun, but i suppose comparing and contrasting to the original game is a bit pointless considering this mod really wants to be a totally different experience. still i dont like the ar and im not crazy about the smg. 

i will speak on grenades though, there are two new ones, a clusterbomb which is self explanatory and a gravity bomb, which pulls enemies into it and then weakly explodes, killing weaker enemies and usually dropping elite shields. interesting additions to the sandbox but i feel like the clusterbombs make frags redundant.  

this mod has armor abilities now like halo reach, taking the place of your flashlight when equipped. i assume this has to be this way otherwise i would want to berate them for making me kill my flashlight for sprint or VISOR, which is basically just the detective vision mode from odst but in a really displeasing color pallet. now im nitpicking but yknow. the game is still very dark in a lot of places thanks to this mod still using halo ce’s original lighting engine or just respecting the fact that it was like that for a fucking reason unlike anniversary edition, so losing the flashlight is a real pain sometimes. 

oh also this mod changed the HUD, now your shields and health are where the should be, in the top middle of the screen like in every halo game starting with 3.  

anyway i think thats all i have to say about level 1, not a massively successful first impression but it was not bad and i did not hate it. pretty so-so for me. the next level i’ll have more positives to talk about i think

[uselessmonsterboy]

Hey, theres an app that rips works from AO3 and puts them in it's own archive that's passing itself off as a "AO3 fanfic mobile reader". Aaaannddddd it has a subscription part to it, so the app developers are making money off of it. Idk if your stuff is on there, I refuse to touch that app with a 10 foot pole, but I'd check and see if your stuff is on there. You can either make your account/work user only, which takes it down, or you can yell at the publishers yourself. 'Cause that's illegal.

Hey ive been seeing this make its rounds and i wanna clear some things from the poking around i did.

This looks like its mostly a result of jumping the gun style fearmongering. The app essentially seems to be a minibrowser specialized for AO3. It is not hosting the information or stories its just a pocket browser that is just a way to view the fics on the AO3 site. They aren't profitting off the fics the way I've seen a number of posts claim, they are charging an optional subscription base to use the app itself. You are paying to use the app and whatever addons it may have, not to read the fics themselves. It's essentially being framed as just funds to keep the codebase running in main part and yeah maybe they make a bit of money but I'm not confident its got that much userbase yet that its anything monumental.

It's not trying to pass itself off as anything it literally is just a mobile reader that is just a super fancy skin for reading AO3, which you could do free on the actual mobile browser anyway but thats neither here nor there. I get the whole thing about worrying about the fic you have made and such that are posted there but its not stripping anything off the fics and making them lose the sources of authorship or credit or anything. It is just a viewer browser and that's all. I have been around online a while and shit gets stolen all the time but I don't see this as one of those times, at the moment at least. Im not going to make my works user only since a number of my readers do not have accounts and I'm not going to punish them for some app that was made to view fics.

The only thing im not happy about with the app is the option to connect your AO3 account directly to it which gives the owner access (but presumably not rights I have to dig more on that) to your log in information.

I'm out and about right now but I will come back and edit this in a bit but for now have this:

[kaysreviews]

My Review of Neon Genesis Evangelion (1995)

For my first review I want to talk about Neon Genesis Evangelion, a show that everyone has already talked about millions of times. It is arguably one of the most well known and classic animes and has sparked a shit ton of games, merch and spin offs. This show was created in 1995 by Hideaki Anno and is a 26 episode show. It revolves around a middle-school aged kid, Shinji Ikari, who fights in a massive robot-not-robot-human-monster-thing called an Evangelion. He fights alongside two other middle school girls, Rei Ayanami and Asuka Langely Soryu, to defeat mysterious destructive creatures called Angels.

Of course the story goes a lot deeper than that, sometimes being borderline confusing. Theres Adam sleeping under NERV, but it’s not Adam it’s Lillith, and its not NERV running the show it’s SEELE, and SEELE wants human instrumentality and... what the hell is human instrumentality? What is Adam and the angels? what the fuck is happening? On my second watch through (after doing heavy research on what the hell that show was about) I was finally able to even comprehend what was going on with the show. And when I did, I fucking loved it. Granted, I barely paid attention the first time around which was my mistake. The show really requires your full attention to get all the information that it throws at you.

On the surface, this show looks like your regular 90′s mecha anime, but once you dig deeper you discover this show is about loneliness, escapism, and what it means to be human and how shitty it can be. This show is actually a deconstruction of the mecha genre, which is usually a genre filled with substance-less shows that are primarily meant to sell toys. (though evangelion had it’s fair share of merch and toys as well.) and I’m a big ol’ sucker for deconstruction shows. 

Now let’s get into what I thought of it. I love it. The art is beautiful, the animation is great (as great as a low-budget anime from the 90′s can be) and the story and characters are original and thoughtful. On my first time watching, I hated our main man Shinji. I though he was a little bitch for lack of a better word. He wouldn’t stand up and be a man, he was awkward and pervy, and he was so distracted by his past trauma that he couldn’t live in the present. Then on my second watch I unfortunately realized something. I am a whole lot like Shinji. I’m socially awkward, I often live in my past traumas, I expect people to care about me without caring for them back, I expect pity and I live off of the praise of others. This shocked me when I realized how much I can relate to this little bitch. It actually made me want to start to work on myself and grow, unlike Shinji. In a way, Shinji represents the worst in all of us, that’s when I started to understand him and feel for him. I hated him because I saw so much of me in this character, and I decided to like him for the same reason. I like him because he is literally the worst. It’s an interesting take to have the main character of the show be someone no one roots for, but be such a reflection on the worst parts of all of us. I fuckin love it.

I went through this love-hate with several of the other characters too, particularly Asuka and Gendo (though there isn’t really any kind of redemption for Gendo I just love that he’s somehow worse than Shinji) But overall the characters are very well-rounded and we get to see the best and worst of them all, and why they act they way they do. This show about mechs and aliens is extremely human and discusses the worst parts of us.

Ok now we’re done talking about the subtext, lets talk about how fucking badass this show is. I love when shows get biblical. Now this show isn’t actually referencing anything that actually happened in the bible, it only uses vague ideas, names, and a whoooole lot of crosses. But doesn’t it make everything a bit cooler? I thought the lore in this show was very interesting, the second impact and human instrumentality especially. I thought it was a good blend of the science fiction and post apocalyptic genres (my two favorite genres) while also being a creative concept. I loved the fight scenes between the Evas and the angels, I thought they were well choreographed and made use of dynamic editing to give the scenes more weight and power.

The only gripe I have with this show is the last two episodes, just like everyone else. I didn’t like them and I thought the show needed a grander ending. I understand, though, why they happened the way they did. The show was not doing well production-wise and they didn’t have the budget left. This paired with Anno’s deep depression at the time produced episode 25 and 26. the episodes were very slide-show like as we delved into the psyche of the NERV gang as human instrumentality took place. The show even regressed into paper and pen illustrations near the end of episode 26. At the end of the show Shinji eventuallly accepts human instrumentality and everyone congratulates him. The end. And that was the happy ending? people were not happy about that at the time so two years later in 1997 came End of Evangelion which gave us a more grim, but way more badass ending. (it honestly needs its own post so I won’t talk about it here) In my canon EoE was the true ending, but that does not mean the last two episodes should be negated. As abstract as they are, they still give a lot of insight on the characters and are still worth the watch.

I could probably go on and on about this show but I decided to keep this review to my main thoughts. As far as a review its a 9/10 and I’d recommend this to anyone honestly. There’s a reason why this show has lived on for 25 years and why it should live on forever. What do you think about Neon Genesis Evangelion? do you love it? do you think its pretentious garbage? Let me know!

Thank you for reading.