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astonmartinii · 4 months

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i can do it with a broken heart [guilty as sin part three] | charles leclerc social media au

pairing: charles leclerc x fem sainz!reader

life goes on after a bombshell but this silence isn't mysterious it's ominous

MASTERLIST | GUILTY AS SIN MASTERLIST | TIP JAR

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1 and 1,304,509 others

yourusername: don't tell lies about me and i won't tell truths about you

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user164: oh holy moly this is so much worse than i thought

user165: i don't think i can ever look at those men the same ever again

user166: SEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS FOR FAVOURS?

user167: my mouth dropped open when i read that

user168: so like not to be insensitive but like who do we think it was

maxverstappen1: so like y/n obviously can't talk on this because she needs her silence but my big mouth will remain open they tried it on me that's why she mentions that she managed to make friends.

user169: what the fuck

maxverstappen1: they thought that i would be an easy target because i was so young but jokes on them i've always been taken advantage of so i saw that from a mile away (also y/n didn't want to so that obviously helped)

user170: that is actually insane like her and max are the same age so that would've made her so young i hope to god that they didn't try it with anyone older

maxverstappen1: they did but by the time they realised that it hadn't worked on me y/n had allies and fernando and seb were not about to let any of that happen

user171: thank the lord she had some friends when people control your money you'll do anything

fernandoalo_oficial: she became my daughter the moment that i saw them try and offer their family to some of the older men in the paddock

user172: i am actually in shock this was a "oh gosh this is so dramatic situation" but now it's just "holy shit i kinda need to see these guys in jail"

fernandoalo_oficial: me and you both

user173: i'm going to need ferrari to let charles out of the cage for this one

user174: kinda expected him to be in the comments supporting her i'm not going to lie

user175: he's in the likes?

user176: girl? his girlfriend is being sued by his own family and is confessing that she was offered round the paddock like a prize cow i feel like he should be actively voicing his support

oscarpiastri: you're loved and have the full support of the paddock

maxverstappen1: we're behind you 100% of the way

olliebearman: nothing but full support for you mum

pierregasly: we're all here for you no matter what we're allowed to say

fernandoalo_oficial: 🫶

sebastianvettel: it'll all work out in the end

user177: still no charles ???

user178: eh i feel like pierre is confirming charles' support in his place

maxverstappen1

liked by charles_leclerc, yourusername and 835,923 others

tagged: yourusername & charles_leclerc

maxverstappen1: i'm missing my best friend has anyone seen her?

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user179: oh good i was just about to lose it from y/n and max withdrawals

user180: at least one of the trio of dumbasses is keeping us fed

yourusername: i miss you toooooooooo :( (reply fast my lawyer has gone to the bathroom)

maxverstappen1: hurry up and win your lawsuit so we can go back to kicking ass and drinking gin and tonics

yourusername: i'm trying 🤞

maxverstappen1: and if i said it's time to red wedding them?

yourusername: i think we would be swiftly arrested

maxverstappen1: they can't arrest us our face cards are too strong

yourusername: well one of us is currently in court so what does that say about my face card

charles_leclerc: THAT YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL REGARDLESS FUCK THEM

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user181: so is that like confirmation that charles is back in PR jail in maranello

user182: right i understand that he's literally employed by them but like he's also a grown ass man who can speak up

user183: like i know max isn't obviously at ferrari and isn't contractually obligated to be teammates with carlos but even he's out here slamming him

user184: and oscar who's only in his SECOND year in the sport

oscarpiastri: bold assumption that you're the best friend max

maxverstappen1: let's not get too rowdy piastri i can deal with you as the 'child' - you cannot be a bestie as well

oscarpiastri: i don't think that's the exact rules

maxverstappen1: you'll soon learn that I MAKE THE RULES AROUND HERE BUSTER

oscarpiastri: i can't wait for y/n to kick their asses so she can come back and KICK YOURS FOR ME

maxverstappen1: she would NEVER

oscarpiastri: okay maybe she wouldn't, but my dad on the other hand ...

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user185: charles just PLEASE GET ON THE MIC

user186: i'm about to lose my patience i'm not going to lie

user187: guys we have to remember that this is a complicated situation with a lot of different moving parts, as long as charles is there for her in REAL LIFE it doesn't matter what we're seeing

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carlossainz55

liked by landonorris, user190 and 308,994 others

carlossainz55: what was it you said? all is fair in love and poetry.

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user191: WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

user192: not the childhood dog too ???

user193: these are unbelievable levels of hating

user194: i'd be impressed if he wasn't such an asshole

maxverstappen1: get fucked

carlossainz55: she shouldn't dish it out if she can't take it

maxverstappen1: she fell in love ?? and you thought that was a good excuse to take everything she's ever had

carlossainz55: she cost me my dream

maxverstappen1: as far i can remember, she's not on the fucking FERRARI BOARD GENIUS

carlossainz55: it's her pussy-whipped boyfriend that's the problem and she deserved this as soon as she choose him over her blood

maxverstappen1: you're insane and history will always remember you as the biggest crybaby loser to ever grace this sport

user195: so this ^^ is definitely referring to y/n's poetry

user196: are we living through scooter braun volume two

user197: @taylorswift PLEASE HELP

charles_leclerc: EAT SHIT I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL MAKE YOUR LIFE A LIVING HELL

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charles_leclerc: you are the lowest of the low and you will get what is coming to you

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charles_leclerc: there's only so long i have to stay silent and the people will know just the type of person you are

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user198: so is like carlos deleting this comments or ferrari?

user199: i bet it's ferrari

user200: 1. can they stop being allergic to fun 2. i think this has gotten past the need to uphold image like these are your employees and this is serious actually

user201: also like silencing charles when its CARLOS BEING THE MESSY ONE HE IS ACTUALLY STILL YOUR EMPLOYEE

yourusername: old habits die screaming

carlossainz55: you can spout all the 'poetry' you want it'll all belong to me anyway

yourusername: i'd rather burn my whole life down than listen to one more second of all this bitching and moaning

user202: stealing poetry? now that's a new low

user203: i'm gonna need someone to take one for the team and put a cheeky front wing in his tyre

georgerussell63: well this sounds like a job for me

charles_leclerc

liked by oscarpiastri, maxverstappen1 and 893,450 others

charles_leclerc: lets go racing.

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user206: is this even charles? where are the emojis? where is the excitement

user207: i think we might be witnessing a lil PR takeover after his deleted comments tirade under carlos' recent post

user208: you'd think they'd at least get his tone right like the rest of his account is RIGHT THERE

user209: charles leclerc's PR team we now have beef

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maxverstappen1: ugh you people are useless

oscarpiastri: i'm not going to lie i'm losing my patience

maxverstappen1: for real i'm gonna need this court case to finish up fast so we can get back to being a united front of haters

oscarpiastri: and then we can also wrestle charles' phone back by force

olliebearman: PLEASE KNOW THIS ISN'T ME I LOVE Y/N AND WE WILL LIVE TO KICK ASS AGAIN

user210: oh so they quite literally took his phone?

olliebearman: whoops

user210: ollie coming for kid of the year

olliebearman: i can't be told off for accidentally leaving my phone out while in the car and accidentally making my password something easy to remember and accidentally telling charles that his PR team had posted something - accident i swear

user211: @maxverstappen1 can you confirm they're still grossly in love?

maxverstappen1: i do have the letters to prove so but i think he's going insane with withdrawals

user212: that's it GET ME TO MARANELLO RIGHT THIS SECOND I HAVE A SCORE TO SETTLE

user213: yo i know we just got some confirmation from max but i can't help but think how lonely this must be for y/n

user214: for real if i was being sued by my family and had everything stolen from me i'd want more than some 'confirmation' through her bff in an instagram comment

carlossainz55: i hate to say i told you so @yourusername but that would be a lie i'm enjoying this so much

maxverstappen1: i want to fight you so bad but my therapist said that's bad

oscarpiastri: it's also illegal?

maxverstappen1: what's the point of being a rich white man oscar if i can't use to it to traverse the justice system and defend my bestie's honour

user215: @charles_leclerc get a backbone and do it like these two ^^

user216: i still have faith that he'll rain hell on that family when he's free

user217: well can he hurry the fuck up cause he's really shaping up to be the worst boyfriend of the year

user218: he has to get fucking loud HE CAN'T PROVE CARLOS RIGHT I DON'T WANT TO LIVE IN THAT WORLD

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, oscarpiastri and 934,520 others

yourusername: i can do it with a broken heart

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user223: no no NO WE'RE NOT DOING ALL THIS GUESSING GAME SHIT WHAT WAS THE VERDICT?

user224: it's finished?

user225: that's what the spanish media are saying

user224: well in that case Y/N WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU HAVE YOUR POETRY BACK?

maxverstappen1: a wine evening without me? prison changed you

user225: SHE'S IN PRISON?

yourusername: STOP TELLING PEOPLE I'M IN JAIL

maxverstappen1: want me to put some money in the commissary so you can buy cigarettes?

yourusername: i don't even smoke and i'M NOT IN JAIL

maxverstappen1: now you've done time can you employ some stricter parenting on oscar and ollie, they've gotten unruly with both parents absent

yourusername: i'm not an absent mother :(

oscarpiastri: SHE'S VERY PRESENT SHE'S BEEN TO EVERY RECITAL SHE CAN IN HER CURRENT CIRCUMSTANCES

maxverstappen1: did you just refer to literal FORMULA ONE GRAND PRIXS AS RECITALS?

oscarpiastri: maybe i did

yourusername: he's allowed to call them what he wants

olliebearman: i feel sufficiently supported by you mum x

yourusername: i'm glad

olliebearman: family dinner when dad gets released from ferrari's top secret base jail?

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maxverstappen1: did he just get sniped by ferrari's PR?

user226: okay cool got the main kids update but WHAT ABOUT LEO?

user227: please tell me he's been been in good care

yourusername: he's been my rock 🤞

user228: not the dog being more present than charles - it would be funny if it wasn't so sad :(

user229: so are any of you going to address the literal caption of this post

user230: there's two options here she either lost the court case or her and charles have actually broken up

user231: the fact carlos is not in this comment section actively gloating makes me think she might have actually won?

user232: but i don't want it to be the other option... charles and y/n are end game :(

user233: but he's been so so silent and that BULLSHIT response in the press conference

user234: idk the delusion in me has this theory ... she won the case but like t swift, doesn't have access to her old work so maybe she's heartbroken over losing that and then it's just exacerbated by her boyfriend's useless bosses that are holding him captive in italy (also he was totally coached to say that shit in the presser it's written all over his strangely expressive face)

user235: at this point i might go to italy and just prison break him out of there this is ridiculous

fin.

note: DON'T HATE ME YALL i promise it'll get better we must have faith in the man (i know i hate to put my faith in men) xx

extra note from me here. first, i will fix this tag list at some point idk why it's not working rn. secondly, i have been made aware by multiple people that there is a series just like this one down to characters and the name of the series on here and i can't lie i'm bummed about it. as i said on the first part (?) this is an idea i've had since the release of TTPD (and people will back me up on this) so it bums me out that there are blatant copies coming out! i'm all for inspiration but sometimes there's a difference between taking inspo and copying especially when my masterlist was posted ages ago and my first part was posted on the 9th of may.... anyways that's all i have to say! enjoy xx

taglist: in comments!

#f1 imagine #f1 x reader #f1 instagram au #f1 x you #f1 #f1 social media au #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc #charles leclerc x female reader #charles leclerc x you #charles leclerc fanfic #guilty as sin?#astonmartinii

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sociopathicartist · 6 months

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In case I don’t tell you enough, I love you.

a letter from sans directed to you, his lover.

y/n,

it’s been five years since monsterkind was freed from the surface.

it’s been four years since i’ve met you.

it’s april, and i’m still missing you.

maybe it’s stupid of me to miss you considering that i left your house only a few hours ago, and i’m laying in bed writing this on some loose paper i found on my floor while i think of you.

weirdly enough, the silence in my room is now unsettling compared to how calming it used to be. i guess the fan in your room blowing wind on your bed that i’ve yet to see turned off has grown on me. or maybe it’s the rain sounds you always have playing on your tv that clash with the fan that grew on me.

or maybe it’s you that's grown on me.

sometimes when i have a nightmare or i can't sleep i play fan and rain sounds on youtube to help me rest, not even thinking consciously about it anymore. it always just makes me feel like i’m back in bed with you with my eyes closed, waiting for you to come back from the kitchen with the glass of water that you wanted.

i wish that i could sum it up and say i can't find the words to describe how i feel, but that’s a lie. i know exactly how i feel about you.

tracing my phalanges along the little scars and nicks of your skin when i’m next to you never fails to entertain me. neither does running my hand through your hair, or twisting the rings on your fingers, or kissing you quickly for the 1000th time. i never thought i would be fond of that sort of stuff, i never thought i was a guy for any sort of romance.

i guess i just never realized that all i needed was the right person to give it to me. all i needed was you.

i’m not the best writer. even my lab logs from the rare times when i help alphys with her scientific tests are messy and short out. it’s almost like having all these thoughts about you is starting to eat me alive. i guess i have nowhere else to put them but on a piece of paper. if we ever get married one day like i hope we do, i’d like to give this to you. who knows when that will be though, so i guess this letter will just sit in one of my drawers collecting dust until i can give it to you. it kinda sucks to think about the fact that these words might never reach you, but that’s the way life is. it sucks most of the time.

i get this weird sinking feeling in my ribs near where my soul rests sometimes. it’s mostly when i think about how i miss you. sometimes my hand reaches up and brushes up and down my shoulder blade when i’m lying in bed alone, mimicking the motion that your hand does to me all the time when we lay together. i don’t even notice it happens anymore, but when i do and i realize you’re not actually there, that’s when that weird sinking feeling happens. it also happens on the rare thought of you not being in my future one day, even though i know that won't happen. i know you wouldn’t leave me.

i can’t help but wonder what this feeling was before i met you, and why i never got it.

was i just empty all the time?

even though i remember in great detail why my depression was so bad back then, back before i met you, i guess these happy years with everyone have slowly washed away that feeling. i felt so horrible for so long, and i didn’t care to ever try and get better because there was no point back then, but for some reason whenever i try to think of what was there in my life that i had like this, it’s almost numbed away from my memories. it’s like a bad nightmare that got washed away with the morning light.

that’s not to say i’m not thankful and glad i’m doing better now. sure, i’m still working things out, but who isn’t? i don’t think i wouldn’t have ever actually gotten help if it wasn’t for you, though. you’re really the only person who's ever seen me so clearly. i love how i don’t even have to tell you if something is wrong anymore, you just look at me and know. did you know that i’ve never had anyone take the time to notice the small difference between my genuine smile versus my resting and permanent one? the day you pointed that out to me was the day i realized i liked you.

i also thought it would take me a while to realize when i liked someone seriously. i think the last time i ever had a crush was… actually, i can’t remember. in the movies and books, it’s always the same scenario of ‘i like you but i haven’t liked anyone before so i don’t realize i like you until it’s too late’ but that wasn’t the case. i knew the moment i liked you.

it was this odd twinge in me that just kinda sprung throughout my bones. i think it’s the same equivalent of getting butterflies in your stomach, but without a stomach. i noticed your looks before, and i guess this sounds weird to say, but it was like after so long of friendship that i actually… noticed you.

you looked so beautiful, and you still do.

the shock at work and from other people was really funny when they found out we were dating. i don’t think they ever actually thought i’d find someone to settle down with. our friends knew better though. as shocked as our friends tried to act, it was pretty obvious that they were expecting it. i can’t believe it was that obvious that we liked each other.

there’s no big resolution to writing this. i just felt like writing it so that i could share the feelings i feel about you but that i forget to say when we are around each other. it’s not like i can get a single word in with how much you smooch on me though. not that i mind.

it’s not to say that if my puns ever get too much for you, or if you decide that i’m too lazy and you feel like you can’t leave, you can. i just really don’t want you to. i have a strong feeling that you don’t ever want to leave either.

i can’t wait to see how the rest of our lives turn out together. when we move in, get married, and just enjoy each other’s time. i know it’s crazy to hear from me, but i can’t wait to do the dishes with you and put away the laundry as you fold it. i can’t wait to enjoy your company every day one day. i know it’s a bit selfish, but i hope that things stay like this forever.

i hope that you get to read this one day, and in case i don’t tell you enough, i love you.

#undertale #undertale au #undertale alternate universe #sans #sans undertale #sans x reader #classic sans #sans x you #sap #sans headcanons

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tigergirltail · 2 months

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TIGER HRT CHAPTER 5 - MONTH 4 - COMMUNITY

FIRST - PREV - NEXT

It took another month after my check-in, after starting the correct dosage, for my transformation to stabilize and stop hurting all the time. My bones have settled down, my tail is getting long enough to get in the way which is honestly more exciting than annoying, and I've even got little bitty claws pushing out of my fingers! The mechanisms for retracting and extending them haven't grown yet, though, so I just… am sharp now.

It's actually become kind of a bloody inconvenience, and I use the term 'bloody' very literally. The first few times I went to go scratch an itch, I'd end up drawing blood, and having to go clean myself up and put on a bandage. I thought about clipping my claws, but I have no idea if that's going to stunt their development or have consequences when I can finally retract them, and it's not something that seems worth bothering Dr. Erian about. The biggest problem is that sometimes I'll move my arms in my sleep, and there's no way of telling what'll be in the way. I've already had to conduct emergency repairs on three plushies, and my bedsheets are kind of a write-off.

I was a little afraid of the pain subsiding, if I'm being honest, because it means going back to work, which means existing in a public space with my half-human half-something-else face. It's still cold enough that I can wear a scarf and toque over the more off-putting features, but that won't last much longer and it's not something I can do indoors. I'm just going to have to face the truth…

I don't pass as human anymore.

My first day working in-person again, my supervisor walks into my office with the intention of welcoming me back, but what actually happens is he stands in the doorway dumbfounded before asking, "Now what in the world happened to your face??"

For all the time I had, I never actually managed to think of a clever lie, so I just tell him it's a side effect of some new meds I'm taking. Technically not a lie, if you ignore the word 'side'. Fortunately, he doesn't ask what's wrong with me. I'm not looking forward to having to tell someone who doesn't get it that Being Human counts as Something Wrong.

Work has been alright, though, if a bit dull. My coworkers mostly leave me to my own devices to get things done.

It's doing anything else that becomes an issue.

I get lots of stares in the grocery store or the mall. I'm not sure whether it's the inhuman face that does it, or the fact that I nearly always wear t-shirts and my fur is now growing up to my wrists. I think it's growing faster now that it's run up against peak arm hair territory. Either way, I basically don't dare set foot outside without my partner in tow. Nobody's tried anything yet, but I see them shying away from me, and just the other day a little kid called me a 'monster'. It's… still eating at me.

I never could take being the centre of attention.

It's not all doom and gloom, though. I don't know whether the tactile senses of my hands have changed or it's something psychological, but that thing cats do where they knead something with their claws? "Making biscuits" I've heard it called?

It feels soooo niiiice.

Last weekend I went to take an afternoon nap, and ended up spending a solid half hour just squishing my blahaj with my hands (or would that be 'paws' now?) All the stress from the previous week just… melted away. It was like an ASMR video for my sense of touch.

Is it bad that I'm really enjoying being a little more cat-brained?

I've also become RAVENOUSLY hungry. As in, "destroy an entire rotisserie chicken in one sitting" hungry. The meat cravings have kicked in, HARD, and I've basically lost my appetite for bread and pasta. You really don't realize how much human food is grain-based until you stop wanting to eat it…

All the big changes hitting at once are getting hard to withstand sometimes. There are nights when I go to bed absolutely euphoric about how it's finally happening, I'm finally embodying everything I'm supposed to be! But there are also nights when I cry myself to sleep because oh gods, what was I thinking, why am I doing this to myself, I look and feel like a godsdamned circus freak, and it really doesn't help to remember that white tigers are pretty much universally victims of inbreeding and abuse.

In a moment of weakness, I catch myself eyeing the remaining contents of the HRT bottle. I ran some numbers a little while back and figured out that at the recommended dose, this bottle is an entire 18-month treatment, give or take. Well, 12 months now, I guess, since I was accidentally taking a triple dose for the first three months. The fact that it's a diluted Fifteen Minute formula means that if I just brace myself and chug the entire rest of the bottle, that would finish out the treatment in one go, wouldn't it? It… probably wouldn't even hurt as much as doing Fifteen-Minute from the start, right?

My partner walks in on me holding it and staring at it, and asks what I'm doing, so I explain my thought process. They just silently put one hand on mine and use the other to gently remove the bottle from my grasp.

"But I -", I begin to protest.

"No."

"I keep getting stared at and -"

"No."

"That one little girl called me a monster!"

"No."

I start crying, and I can't help raising my voice. "If I just finish it all NOW then maybe -"

"NO."

They set the bottle down and pull me into a tight hug, pinning my upper arms to my sides. "I love you very much, and I don't want to see you hurt yourself. You went into this knowing it was gonna suck for a while, and right now it sucks, but it's not worth risking your life over."

I don't have a counter-argument. I just lower my face onto their shoulder and sob. "I just… I don't want to keep doing this alone anymore! I need… I need help! Support, guidance, SOMETHING!!" I cling to them, digging my fingers, my claws, into their back. "I don't want to be the only one…"

"You aren't.", they reassure me quietly. "Didn't you tell me yourself that there's a bunch of people doing this? We even saw a whole crowd of them at that seafood place."

"Y-yeah, but I don't know anybody local!"

"Then find them online. It's better than nothing, isn't it?"

"It's… It's just not the same…"

They pat me on the back. "Just… try. For me."

They let me cry into their shoulder for another several minutes before I let them go.

Back at my computer, I sit down and start searching for a humanity removal therapy support group. A Discord server, a Facebook group, a Tumblr sideblog, ANYTHING. Gods help me, I'm even looking to TWITTER for help. Even as a human I was a solitary creature, and tigers are about as solitary a creature as they come, so it takes a lot of effort to bring myself to reach out. I end up doing it right before I go to bed, just firing off a few quick messages to some figures in the community, then forcing myself not to look at social media the rest of the night. For all my growth, I'm still a bit terrified of being noticed.

By the time I wake up, some of them have gotten back to me. I… wasn't expecting it to be so fast.

It turns out there's a private group chat where a bunch of them hang out on the regular to talk about what they're going through. They sound open to the idea of bringing me in, but want to get to know me a little better first. I don't blame them for wanting to keep to themselves. I get to talking with one of them, a lamia-to-be, and through our conversations I get the distinct impression that, well, I'm not alone in feeling alone. Somehow I manage to convince her I'm worth knowing and having around, and she sends me an invite to the group chat server.

Time to face the mortifying ordeal of being known.

I go through all the typical new-to-the-server motions. I read the rules page - it's the usual "don't be a dick" type stuff, with some bonus content applicable to our unique situation, like not stereotyping based on species, and a reminder to not present your own experiences with humanity removal as universal fact. Then into the welcome channel to type up a quick introduction:

"Hey all, I'm Alexis, transfem (she/her), 38, 4 months white tiger HRT. Interests include gaming, tabletop RPGs, costuming, and witchcraft. Looking forward to getting to know everyone!"

A few people react with heart emojis and tiger emojis. Discord only has the standard orange tiger as an emoji, but, you know, close enough. One person reacts with a witch emoji, and it gives me a laugh.

There's a channel for serious questions about the transformation process, so I decide to hop in and fire off a quick one:

"Not that I mind this, but why am I so hungry for meat now? It hit around the 3 month mark and now I can eat an entire roast chicken in one go"

Over the course of the next hour or so, a few people weigh in. The consensus is that my body is entering a 'bulking up' phase, and needs a ton of protein to generate muscle. Just out of curiosity I go to do an online search to confirm something, and yeah, tigers are a lot more proportionally muscular than humans are. Someone else suggests taking calcium supplements to help with bone growth, unless I'm prepared to drink a LOT of milk. I am in fact prepared for that, but it couldn't hurt to drop by the pharmacy.

It also turns out that the server isn't just for people who have started their HRT, but for aspiring humanity-removers as well. There's even a channel specifically for advice navigating the whole process, including how to convince your medical provider that you're for real and you won't immediately regret it when the itching/soreness/bleeding kicks in.

One of the regular posters is a teenage girl with a corvid avatar who asks a lot of questions about what it's like to become nonhuman. Surprisingly, she's not trans like most of us are, but she is queer. It sounds like she's not in a stable situation, though - she asks at one point if anyone can think of a way to get the meds without her parents noticing.

The problem is, even if that's a possibility, someone would notice when she starts sprouting black feathers and a beak.

---

(guest cameo from @ariathelamia!)

#therian hrt #animal hrt #furry hrt #tiger hrt #trans artist #queer artist #lgbtq artist #my art #transgender #transwoman

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cheesycatz · 2 months

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The Worm's Apple

(Spamton AU reference sheet) 1 2

Text ver and close ups below

This version of Spamton claims to be a spam program, but his credibility appears to be dubious. Covered from neck to toe and wearing a strange mask, the little of him that is visible doesn't quite match. But, the only thing more hated than spam is malware, so what reason would he have to lie?

- He walks stiffly. His torso barely moves, his legs don't bend, and his arms hang limply when he attempts to look normal.

- He purposefully wears baggy clothes to hide the abnormal shape of his body and limbs.

- While he attempts to make his legs look plantigrade, the actual digitigrade shape of his legs often shows through his pants.

- He keeps his long tail curled tightly behind him. However, it often unfurls when he experiences strong emotions or feels comfortable.

- His neck is unnaturally long and flexible, as though it lacks vertebrae.

- Not beating the cat allegations

- Spamton often hisses and spikes up his fur when angry or threatened. His suit limits his senses, physical defenses, and mobility, so he resorts to many threats.

- Even when alone in the city, Spamton usually leaves his suit on until he can bring it home. However, he won't pass up the opportunity for a meal along the way.

- (Tiny comparison of a real spam program, an addison, and Spamton in the bottom right corner)

- Spamton actually keeps himself as clean as possible, even if he can't clean his clothes. Regardless, he likes performing his self cleaning mechanisms as a stim, even while wearing his suit. He rubs his nose and rubs his arms together in the same way that insects clean dust off their antennae and legs.

- Spamton's hands are quite small, and his relatively long fingers often show up through his mittens. The fabric is damaged from the numerous holes that his claws have poked through them.

- He's around 5 ft (~150 cm) tall, with a 7ft (~215 cm) long tail

-----

I'm no character designer (Spamton's suit here is literally just the miniature outfit I made for my spam plush), but I like what Disguised Wormton has become over the past two years. While completely accidental, the five-petal shape and yellow thread of his button/pin perfectly represents an apple tree blossom, a nod to his symbolism. The rest of his attempt at an outfit is "hide as much as possible, but still look good doing it." ...as good as he thinks an untucked shirt and clothes ten sizes too big look. He's meant to appear incredibly uncanny when he puts effort into "being normal," looking more like a shuffling zombie than anything natural. I think the round and wide shapes of his suit contrasted with the long, thin, and sharp points of his only visible features adds to the untrustworthness he radiates. His animalistic tendencies look worse when performed by something trying to look humanoid. Even if it's more comfortable for him, the incorrect bend of his legs, the perpetual raptor arms, the absurdly long tail, and his awkwardly long neck highlight the concept of something trying so hard to look human (or humanoid in the case of Deltarune) yet always failing. That's what I was going for when designing him, at least. After writing like 50k words about disguised Wormton, he honestly might be creepier than normal Wormton. I'd rather deal with the obscure cryptid that hisses and runs away than be approached by this kidney stealer lookin mf trying to sell used cigarettes or something. He's definitely grown on me, though. In a "I would never want to be locked in a room with any of the characters I like" kind of way.

#spamton #spamton fanart #deltarune #deltarune chapter 2 #deltarune fanart #spamton g spamton #spamton au #wormton au #cheesycatz art posts #how did this guy pull an entire friend group of well adjusted addisons when he looks like this

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cruyuu · 27 days

Note

Just saw the leaks of the new chapter and.....well, this is it for me then

Hi anon!

I was holding myself back (desperately) from taking a look. In fact, I really wanted to stop looking at leaks and wait for one chapter normally but once my friend started spamming me and I saw the messages...

I'll put everything behind the cut for those who do not wish to be spoiled. Let's just say that I'm moved. Gege killed me.

Ok, so. Wow. I don't know where to start lmfao.

I was doubtful, anon. I was so, so doubtful how this story is progressing and what the hell was even happening. In fact, I also made peace with the fact that maybe whatever the hell was happening between Yuuji and Sukuna was never going to be addressed (because, oh well, who cares), Sukuna will kick the bucket and Yuuji won't even look at him, etc.

Only for Gege to deliver everything I was hoping for.

I don't know why some Sukuna fans are disappointed by this chapter. Yes, he is put in a pathetic position, despite practically carrying the narrative on his back and being this incredible villain but "looking cool" and "being powerful" had consequences in this manga (points at Gojo).

I, as a Sukuna fan, am not dissatisfied because I love him whether he's cool or pathetic. Tbh, I'm really happy! because I always believed that both of them were pretending and that it was about damn time the masks fell. It was about damn time these two saw each other for who they truly were.

And Yuuji accepted him!!! He said "lets try one more time", not "go rot in hell". He broke the cycle because he had grown to understand him. Not hate, but love. Accepting. Empathetic. Being everything no one in this narrative was able to give to Sukuna and therefore failed in reaching him.

Now, on the other hand, this was also the final proof I needed for my theory that these two were always twins (that the uncle/nephew through reincarnation was just a lie because, again, this never got mentioned again and is barely given relevance) but because Sukuna had rejected such fate, Yuuji didn't get born alongside him, but got born in a totally different era. By eating his twin- stealing Yuuji's fate- Sukuna got born in the wrong era (the era of peace) while Yuuji got thrown into the hell that is the modern world (and he has Sukuna to thank for that). They practically switched destinies (hence why Yuuji talks about matters of chance) and are both living at the wrong time, yet living at the wrong time had gotten them to this point, where both got what they wished for. Sukuna - strength. Yuuji - company.

The way the narrative did a very clever switch is also lowkey messing me up. Considering Sukuna is Yuuji (what Yuuji tells Sukuna), then their personalities are basically switched. They're true reflections of each other- Sukuna shows who Yuuji is, and Yuuji shows who Sukuna is. It's Sukuna who wanted company while Yuuji wanted strength.

This explains their contradicting behavior. How Sukuna understands love yet says it's worthless (but never elaborates) and also explains how Yuuji was incredibly strong in his youth, why he couldn't understand why his grandfather is choosing euthanasia (if he cared for others viewpoints, he would've known why) and why he's constantly shouting "it should be me" yet constantly sending people to death and not killing himself.

And yes, I know this isn't confirmed but atp it's pretty believable more so than the uncle/nephew thing.

Yuuji sees Sukuna in such a state and doesn't mock him, doesn't hate him and as someone who expected Yuuji to just straight up start laughing at him (because I know how severely Sukuna is hated by this fandom and this is what the fans were expecting) this was already a big win for me. An even bigger win was Yuuji telling him to try one more time. Hell, he says "even if no one accepts you, I will live on with you"! Hello!?!!??!!!!?!? That's practically pure love right there. Seeing him like this and yet still accepting him... that's actually really deep. If it was anyone else in Yuuji's shoes, they wouldn't act that way. (Hell, just look at this fandom itself. People love ideas, but close their eyes to the truth. They love power, but once that power is gone, they're quick to jump ship and escape or think "That can't be right".)

I love this chapter truly because I always had an inkling Sukuna was projecting this entire time, as was Yuuji. There's a reason, after all, why he escaped from him and looked for a "better vessel" and why Yuuji was putting on a front this entire time (about being caring and living for every single moment) while at the same time willing to eat a finger (like it was no biggie), eat his half-brothers and "want to die" yet not die.

And now the truth is exposed? Sukuna is Yuuji. Yuuji is Sukuna. They've inverted their destinies, fulfilled their dreams (Yuuji had come to connect with people finally, Sukuna had come to achieve incredible strength and not be a weakling), and finally managed to understand each other. Sukuna understood how Yuuji felt all this time and Yuuji had grown to understand how Sukuna felt all this time and why he's telling him this in the first place.

It's genuinely beautiful.

Even if the "we were twins" theory of mine is debunked, them not being twins just adds even more beauty to this. They didn't need to be born together to understand each other. Hell, if they were born like that, the fate which would've awaited them would probably be similar to what happened with Maki and Mai.

Yet they were different. They survived.

#jjk leaks #jjk spoilers #jjk 268 #melanswers #sukuita #you might be hearing more for me abt this chapter #i just wanted to point out what made me insane #my thoughts are all over the place now and there's just so much to talk about! like omg #still im patiently waiting for the ending

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justmenoworries · 5 months

Text

Lore Olympus Episode 280 (Finale) Spoilers

Final episode les gooooo!

As expected, the "fight" was underwhelming af. Gaia just yoinks Apollo out of Ouranos (lol) and that's it. And despite being dead - sorry "in HibERnaTioN" for like milennia Gaia somehow knows exactly what's up. Persie has to stay three months in the mortal realm because we gotta get the change of seasons in here somehow and after RS fucked up all the other ways it could have happened this extremely weak "you gotta" is all that's left.

The rest of the episode is time-skips because RS has learned absolutely nothing.

Persie gets crowned even though she was already queen, TGOEM disbands because RS hates women supporting women if it's not for the purpose of pushing them towards a man.

Oh yeah and Apollo is sentenced to community service.

You heard me.

Community service.

After admitting to sexually assaulting Persephone on live TV. After literally trying to murder the king of Olympus. After teaming up with Kronos 2.0 and almost causing the end of the world.

Community service.

I fucking hate it here I'm so glad this bullshit is over.

Hera gets to be sole ruler of Olympus after divorcing Zeus (how does that work???) and getting together with Echo (I wish I could feel anything for their relationship but RS was too busy slobbering over hxp to develop it).

Eros and Psyche were let out of Leto's basement off-screen and have a kid now because every couple in this comic has to be a standard nuclear family in some way.

We also skip over Dionysus growin up because otherwise RS would have to write Persie and Hades actually being parents to him. Melinoe happens because Persie's magical womb powers make Hades' infertility more of a minor obstacle (have I mentioned I hate it here) and then we also get Macaria because why tf not.

Whelp, that's all she wrote!

I won't lie even though I've grown to despise this comic and everything it stands for it's helped me find some really cool people and a fun community.

Even some people who've taken the premise and did so much more with it.

Sincerely, thanks to everyone whose essays and posts and comics created such a wonderful time when the actual comic failed to do so.

It's been fun. Take care!

#anti lore olympus #lore olympus critical #anti lo #lo critical #lo criticism #lore olympus criticism

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anxious-lee · 5 months

Text

|| Ramshackle Tickle Headcanons ||

A/N: just watched the pilot last night and read the comic this morning, I'm ready 💪. I can tell these three are gonna be my new beloved found family. as far as I can tell, there isn't a whole lot of fan content of this on tumblr so I'm really scared this is gonna find its way to the normies 😢

---

Vinnie

- chaotic ler

- usually the first one to initiate a tickle fight

- fights to WIN (and have fun with her friends)

- the roughest tickler of them all; squeezes, scribbles, and pokes anywhere and everywhere she can reach. she will the loudest laughter she can out of you

- skipp is her easiest lee; he'll start a chase and everything for the game of it, but he doesn't fight too hard once he gets caught

- stone, however, is the hardest lee, but we'll get to that later; despite how difficult he is to corner, she likes the challenge; besides, somebody's got to make sure that sad twig boi smiles

- once she finds your worst spot, she's not leaving

- teases with evil laughter and playful mockery; "no mortal can escape the clutches of the TICKLE MONSTER MWAHAHAHA!" "You wanna get away? You wanna get away?? Well you're not gettin' away~"

- when tickled, she SCREAMS and CACKLES but will NOT beg

- doesn't mind being tickled, doesn't love it; it's all in good fun

- ^ you wouldn't know that based on how hard she fights her ler; kicking, clawing, flailing, you name it; she does not like to lose

- in fact, she'd rather have her face turn purple than call it quits; the ler just has to know when to stop on their own because she's sure as hell not going to tell them

- most ticklish spot is her armpits

- do not try to outrun her because she is so damn persistent. she will catch you; tackles and pins you down before she tickles you

Skipp

- lawful lee

- has the goofiest little giggles in the world; a real "teehee" lad

- can't and won't hold back his laughter

- by far the happiest to be a lee

- actively likes tickling and WILL admit it

- most ticklish spot is his sides

- he can tickle if he thinks one of his friends needs it but he mainly prefers to be the lee

- doesn't wiggle that much; all the energy that would go into squirming goes into giggling instead

- cups his pink cheeks and gives tiny feet kicks 🥰

- will squeal if you tickle his neck

- a lot of teases don't work on him because they rely on being embarrassed, and he's not embarrassed about tickling

- the teases that DO work are baby talk, since it adds to the silly feeling

- pokes tickle him the most

- his giggly laughter is laced with mangled outcries; "HEHEHEHE WAITHEHEHE STO- HEHE NOT THERE HEHEHE"

- if skipp gets in stone's personal space one too many times, stone'll wreck him (he knows skipp is doing it on purpose)

- isn't that invested with winning or losing a tickle fight; he's just happy to be there

- tries to get stone to loosen up about tickling (explanation later)

- gets ganged up on by the other two the most

- falls for those old tickle tricks, not because he wants to get tickled, but because he is just so obliviously trusting

Stone

- HOOOO BOY

- the one we've all been waiting for

- I'm gonna let yall know right now this ones going to be the longest (SUE ME OKAY?!)

- neutral lee-leaning switch

- will swear up and down on his life that he's not ticklish (it's a lie!) until the other two little gremlins finally decide to prove him wrong

- he's very embarrassed about being ticklish; skipp doesn't understand why and tries to get him more comfortable with it, which causes stone to turtle-up and shut down the conversation; vinnie takes a less gentle approach and just tells him to "loosen up, dude!"; it seems like a childish thing to him, like something he should have grown out of

- despite how embarrassed he is about his weakness, he's not actually embarrassed about saying the word; he can say "tickle" all day long, he just can't admit he's ticklish

- he repeats the same three words everytime someone asks: "I'm not ticklish"

- if he thinks for even a second he's about to get tickled, he sprints like his life depends on it; this means the first ten times his friends have tried to tickle him, they failed, no matter how stealthy they were.

- finally, on try eleven, they managed to overtake him; he wouldn't laugh for the first two whole minutes; vinnie was straddling his waist while skipp kept him from kicking and bucking her off; eventually, he did crack; it only took a random squeeze at his death spot for him to slip up: his thighs; vinnie caught on right away and went to town, and then poor stone couldn't keep himself together; if he laughed any harder, he swore he'd crumble to pieces; his arms waved around, too jellied up to put any real force behind them; his eyes were still squeezed shut, but his smile was brighter than the motherfucking sun; it even put skipp's to shame; he looked uncharacteristically like a little baby, laughing and shrieking

- vinnie and skipp's eyes practically filled with stars; neither of them had ever seen this side of stone before; but that was about to change

- he can't claim he's not ticklish anymore, but he'll still go to any lengths to avoid talking about it

- stone didn't know he had a death spot until that moment, nothing ever came into contact with his thighs so he had no way to know

- his laugh is very high-pitched, differing from his usual deep rumble; pure belly laughter with a side of hiccups (no not hiccup laughs, ACTUAL hiccups. it's the cutest thing I swear)

- within thirty seconds of laughing, he's lost all ability to save face; cries out a lot of "please"s if vinnie goes hard enough

- the tops of his cheeks will go red while he's being tickled; not full tomato, but just enough to shatter his pride

- he's the most adorable lee 💓💓💓

- he is SO HARD TO CATCH THO

- he's got the reflexes of a cat

- doesn't like being teased, then he gets a little too embarrassed

- the only comments that ARE acceptable are ones of curiosity; like if skipp goes "hmmm I wonder if this spot is ticklish?" or vinnie says "dang bro I didn't know you could laugh that hard"

- if he's comfortable with anyone tickling him, it's skipp; he knows he can trust him to not laugh at him

- as much as he'll deny it, he doesn't hate tickling as much as he wishes; in fact, it might even be a little bit fun <3

- as a ler, he's pretty skilled

- where vinnie is a very rough and sloppy ler, stone is very careful and methodical

- starts with light traces to amp up the tension, then goes in for the kill

- tickles skipp the most, because there's a significantly smaller chance of skipp fighting back

- he tickles his friends in an older brother sort of way; mostly its when they're bugging him

- teases with "ya learnt your lesson yet?" "that doesn't sound like someone who wants me to stop tickling" "you were practically asking for it, being a pain in the arse and everything"

- specifically teases skipp because he knows he likes it; "having fun, down there? i can see that smile, mister, you ain't fooling me"

- most of the time though he'll just watch the other two tickle fight and watch boredly

----

IT TOOK A LOT OF RESTRAINT NOT TO RAMBLE

AND I DID ANYWAY!!!

I'll save the rest of my thoughts for potential fics

Hope you enjoy!

#tickle #tickles #tickling #ticklish #tickle community #tickle headcanons #ramshackle tickles

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piracytheorist · 10 months

Text

Episode 32 notes!

Starting off right in the middle of action, right where we left off!

And some great animation there, too!

The thing about Anya is that her plans are so innocently silly that thanks to her young age, they actually work.

She's right there in front of Yor, acting like she doesn't recognize her, and Yor accepts that because a) it's easy and b) well Anya is a little kid, isn't she?

The fact that Anya is visibly sweating and has a very nervous expression shows that she's worried her plan won't work, and the entire family could come apart right there. She knows it's a risky plan... but because of the circumstances, it works perfectly not only to cover Yor but also to cover Anya's knowledge of Yor's secret.

I love her.

Also, a great way to take the fear of exposure away from Yor and help her focus on the fight! Worth waiting the entire week for!

I also love how excited the entire crowd was about seeing two people "play" with what seems to be lethal weapons. They'd do numbers as WWE fans.

The camera focuses on Yor as she's starting to question herself.

Yes you are! You're hesitating to get close because you fear you'll get hurt and you know that will make Anya and Loid sad! (And of course because you'll have no excuse to tell them but okay yeah)

Anyway. I just like how in comparison to the manga, we see her expression there during her inner monologue.

Yor comments about how professional the guy is with the chain, but then she has no problem using the chain's momentum to wrap it around his wrist and then his torso. Some excellent animation there showing the small details of her control of the chain!

~YOU'VE BEEN HIT BY-

YOU'VE BEEN STRUCK BY-

THE THOOOORN PRIIINCEEEEEEEESS~

She even used his immobilized body to make him bow. She's an absolute legend.

I've talked before that this isn't even a five-year-old roleplaying. She's actually getting involved with actual enemies of the state, helping their plans without them knowing, and having a blast. Her moral compass may be a little unhinged but by god is it steadfast XD

And then. The Grand RevealTM

WHITE ASS LEGS

I love him your honour. How did he even combine all that, I don't wanna know. The rainbow-tinted glasses is what ended me.

Anya Forger, professional heart-breaker.

Again. Talking with a guy who believes humans will never understand each other and who wants to wage another war, while Twilight has his own war trauma? No big deal. Anya calling him uncool? THE SHOCK AND DESPAIR OF HIS LIFE.

And off to the next chapter! Great transition in the anime - I can usually notice when they jump onto the next chapter, but this time I was surprised with how smoothly they took it from one to the next.

Turtleneck guy says he can't pick up Yor's scent? Even though he seems to have extraordinary smelling abilities?

Is that another reason why Yor is so good at sneaking up on people? She did sneak up on Twilight, after all...

"The bones" mentioned above... is that Loid talking about the skeleton keychain? There was, after all, a hidden bug in the store Loid and Anya were in...

Some things never change.

I can't wait for the moment he realizes how soundly she sleeps on his arms because she trusts him and he makes her feel safe, just like his mother did for him :)

Zeb! I finally get the name of the guy! I won't lie that calling him Furseal felt so weird, like, apologies if your name is Furseal but hey.

Anyway. His outburst felt so real. This man doesn't belong in crime.

And of course, Olka is way too desensitized to such violence, having grown up in the family, after all, and I kinda like how she goes like "Yo snap out of it". Endo really doesn't hold back from having women tell men off huh. I also love the baby talk she used with Gram. So cute.

This scene has the very same music used in the first episode where Twilight has his flashback and remembers what his reason to become a spy was. I feel kinda sad hearing it here because I'd thought that this melody would be used as [redacted]'s leitmotif, but its meaning seems to be connected with how people broken by war can find the hope in humanity needed for peace. Or something.

McMahon berates Yor for going near the door earlier even though she didn't hear their secret knock, but in reality it wouldn't matter - unless the assassin heard their voices from outside the door - because the assassin shot anyway. It would have been the same if she had protected Olka from the first moment and then tried to assess how to attack the guy. So maybe calm down, dude.

The moment Zeb was like "How are we supposed to sleep like that?" I was certain we'd see him sleeping and snoring deeply. I was not disappointed XD

Me when proper trigger discipline: 🥳💯👀🥳👌💯👀👌👌👀🎊👌🎊💯

First, good ol' focus on the ring on McMahon's finger. Second, I'm confused by the translation here in comparison to the manga. Here it says "as long as people continue to be people" while the manga says "as long as people are the way they are", and that can have a different meaning. The former sounds like conflict is in the nature of humans and that it's something we can never avoid, which doesn't seem to follow the story's ideal. It's what Donovan Desmond beliefs are based on, after all. The latter sounds like people are currently very focused on matters that cause conflict, and have a chance of reaching peace if taught differently.

I think, depending on the interpretation, it can tell a lot about McMahon's character. I will wait to see the rest of the arc to make up my mind.

And after he says that they're soldiers even in time of peace, the manga treats us to a panel of a pensive Yor, but the anime doesn't.

Stop robbing us, anime team!

Yor tells the others they should keep their shoes on - nice detail, btw - and Olka looks very familiar with such a concept, while it's Zeb who is a little surprised but accepts it. It's interesting what a character not reacting to something can tell about them!

As expected, Yor and Olka are vigilant, while Gram and Zeb sleep like babies. Let them rest XD

Some brand new music there! There's a lot of new music in general. And then THIS!

THIS IS THE FUTURE LIBERALS WANT ETC

The way Yor widens her eyes when she realizes what she just imagined! AAAAAAAAAHHHH!

And BOY we talk a lot about Loid's denial but the way Yor is still going like "No, no, no, priorities!" though. THE WAY SHE THINKS OF YURI BEING PROUD OF HER, THEN BEING AN INDEPENDENT MAN SHE MANAGED TO RAISE WITH A FEW ISSUES, AND THEN THE HAPPY FACES OF LOID AND ANYA EATING HER FOOD I WILL GO FERAL

Someone hug her omg she deserves the world 😭😭

Neither Twilight nor Yor are the only people neck-deep in denial though.

"The man decided to live for his job" yeah right. He sees one (1) pretty woman pay him some attention because of Bond and he's like "Well imma adopt a dog then". Bond's doubtful and rejecting reaction was priceless XD

This is so fucking funny to me for some reason aadshadfhsdgh. Look at him. Brought into despair by one (1) five-year-old.

I kinda love how he admits that he does fear the unknown, and has been simply trained to overcome it and try to deal with what he has in front of him.

And currently, his fear is for Anya's emotional state.

Having no idea that she's actually having the time of her life, even though she hasn't realized how deeply dangerous her situation is.

Anyway, I love that she brought Mr. Chimera with her on the trip <3

LOID HAVING HIS VERY OWN OH MAH GAH MOMENT I LAUGHED SO HARD

He is very seriously focusing on how he can make Anya happy. He thinks she asked to go for mini golf because she likes it, so he followed along, he saw her upset with how she lost, and believed she needed to experience winning in order to feel fulfilled, so he was determined to stay there until she won.

Anya takes him to the library and of course he's read everything. And even if he hadn't, he has photographic memory and can practically read through an entire tome in minutes.

But still, he's focused on her happiness, and he's satisfied that Anya is having fun reading comics. She goes for the puzzle (btw I love the idea of having a big puzzle available and leaving it to passersby to solve it. I once visited a school where they had one on a table in the halls and students would sit and try and solve it during recesses) and he analyzes it, thinks he can solve it quickly. Anya reacts in shock, and we hear a tiny hesitant "Oh" from him, because he noticed her sudden change in reaction.

Oh no. Twilight is rubbing off on her a little too much. You're five, darling. Enjoying yourself is your job!!

Just like with the bullet in butt date, Loid cannot understand why Anya looks so angry now after having spent an entire day having fun - and he cataloguing what she seems to be having fun with.

The way that he ends his internal monologue with his fear of the Forgers breaking apart and Operation Strix doesn't cross his mind once, tells a lot about how his priorities are starting to change enough to even silence his "For the Mission" talk. My mans falling hard.

Anya sees how worried Loid has gotten... and maybe she reads even deeper and realizes how genuine of a worry it is? That he's not worried for her as an asset of Operation Strix, but as a kid that deserves to have fun and be happy. And she steps up to reassure him.

And oh, how his face changes! T_T

And the way he alternates between "Loid voice" when he speaks and "Twilight voice" when he thinks. Have I congratulated Takuya Eguchi for this feat yet?

And by the way, he "justifies" Anya being so upset of missing her mama because she's still a "small child". Because of course only small children can miss their mothers, right? Twilight definitely doesn't miss his, right?

Forget neck-deep denial, this man is deep down the Mariana Trench of denial.

And the "Small Daily Life" track from the soundtrack plays, with the beautiful family leitmotif...

I love them. He can be so sweet with Anya, I can only imagine how he'll end up post-identity reveals and especially post-feelings realization.

The final few hours before Olka, Gram and Zeb get safely transferred! I think you can see the tension on their entire faces.

Also some intense, new soundtrack there! Interesting! The composers have done a lot of job this season, carefully mixing up tracks from the previous season with new ones to create the respective mood.

And that's it for this week! I foresee way more action on the next episode! :D

#Spy x Family #sxf reaction

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chaeinedup · 5 months

Text

1 + 1 = S2

Loud music could be heard from both rooms in the house. Your neighbours have probably grown accostumed to such thing, it meant it was going out night. Part of them was relieved it wasn't another noisy game night, which are pretty frequent as well.

You were seated on the floor, redoing your ponytails for the 3rd time. Your arms were on fire but you were committed to this look.

"Siri, call yuyu please."

"Calling yuyu."

.....

"Hello ? Y/n ?"

"Hiii just wanted to ask where you are."

"We're almost ready to leave the house. You guys ?"

"I'm almost done if my hair cooperates with me. Wooyoung is most likely waiting for me. I'm surprised he hasn't barged in my room yet."

"Try not to be late!"

"AS IF!!"

"Don't give me attitude missy. Now I'm gonna get the car started, I'll see you in a bit. Bye"

"Bye Bye, don't miss me!"

.....

After 10 more minutes you were finally done. One last look in the mirror and all that work paid off. The boots made your legs look longer and your mini skirt complemented the cropped shirt well. You grabbed your purse and headed to the leaving room where a very impacient Wooyoung awaited you.

"What took you so long ?"

"It takes time to look this good you know?"

"Pleeeease!!"

"Don't roll your eyes at me wooyoung I'll hit you."

"And I'd like it so who's really winning?"

He gave you his signature smirk and winked at you from the couch.

"EW. Let's go. The others already left."

The club was pretty crowded, expected for a friday night, but you weren't scared to get lost. You like to get loose. And it's not like you don't have 8 guys that are constantly keeping an eye on you.

"Don't run off on us again for the love of god."

"Seonghwa for your own sake if I stay none of yall are pulling anyone. Same applies to me."

"Why do you want to get with anyone ?"

"Wouldn't you like to know! I'm off, if you need me yell."

You made your way t the dance floor before he opened his mouth.

"BUT YOU WON'T HEAR IT!!"

"YEAH THAT'S THE POINT!!"

Since it was a 2000s night you were more than happy to have traded your comfortable apartment for the hell. It has it's perks.

You had no idea but someone was drilling holes in your head, Wooyoung was exceptionally bothered by how you left them behind.

"How can she just leave ?"

"Cause she can ?? What are you on about, chill she's not your girl."

Mingi's words were harsher than what met the eye. Sure you weren't dating but he can't lie that the though of some other guy touching you infuriated him. He kept denying his feelings and that maybe this was just him wanting to protect his friend. But Yunho smiled to himself when he saw Wooyoungs furrowed eyebrows.

"You should just tell her how you feel you know?"

"What feelings? It's just unfair we're her friends and she doesn't care."

"And you care too much for "just a friend" don't you think? Listen she can take care of herself she's always been this way, you get used t it."

Yunho tried to relax him but it just made Wooyoung get int his head. Maybe he should've stayed home. No, he couldn't possibly let you out of the house by yourself looking like that.

Meanwhile you were having the time of your life, you had met a group of girls that were on their bacherolette party. It's like you knew them all your life, screaming all the songs, taking pictures, clinking drinks. Girlhood.

You decided to go get another drink and since no one else wanted anything you went alone. Normally this would mean getting approached by a couple of random guys trying to smooth talk you and al of them failling to do so. But unlike other times, the voice behind you was familiar.

"So. Are you having fun ?"

"Oh my god Yunho, I am those girls are so fun. Did you know that the bride and groom met through mutual friends and they actually lived together for a while before he realised he had feelings for her?? How CUTE is that??"

He couldn't help but smile due to the resemblances.

"Yeah it's really sweet. I guess you really never know when love is ready to knock at your door. But what about you, have you gone maneater on anyone?"

"I kinda don't care honestly, I'm having a good time and that's all I care about."

"That's my girl. Now be sure to behave. If you need us, we're at the booth.

He kissed your cheek before disappearing into the sea of people.

You looked at the time, 5:23am. Time to call it a night. You sayed goodbye to the group of girls that accompanied you through the night and wished them all the best. Making your way up to the booths you realised you were a lot more under the influence than you thought. You didn't really care, it's almost the end of the night and the guys are more then used to this side of yours.

Once they saw you they cheered and clapped, you bowed like a princess and smiled at their unnecessary but appreaciated "welcome back".

"How many fishes did you catch sailor?" Mingi gave you another shot he had brought upstairs.

"A THOUSAND" You yelled and chugged the green liquid. "I'm kidding 0, there's no cute guys here."

You sat down next a very pouty Wooyoung.

"What's up with you? What happened to my loud and energetic comrade?"

He gave you no answer, just his cold gaze.

"Damn are you really that upset that I didn't stick around? I thought you were used to it by now."

He got up and made his way to the balcony. There's no way he's throwing a tantrum for something so stupid, you thought to yourself. You followed his angry steps.

"Be so fucking serious Wooyoung? What the fuck?"

He turned to you and you could see there wasn't a hint of alchool in his system. This wasn't one of his drunk stunts that he pulled when he wanted a tad bit more of attention. He was actually upset.

"Okay, I'm sorry I'm being so agressive, just talk to me woo, please."

"I don't like you running off on us that's all."

"That's not all Wooyoung, we've never been mad at eachother and it's not gonna start now."

You got closer to him holding his hands and caressing them. You were giving him your most sincere eyes and he couldn't believe that he was about to kiss you.

It caught you by surprise, so much so you froze in the first few seconds, not knowing if this was a dream or reality. You decide to give in nonetheless. His hands soft, like you remembered from all the times he touched your skin in times of need. Heartbreaks, cramps, tickles, you name it. He was always there for you.

Yunho sipped his drink with a victorious grin, as he watched from the inside. He looked at the rest of the guys and let out a "I told you so."

previous// //next

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https-furina · 1 year

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Hello! Can I req sugar 'n' spice prompt 26 with scaramouche??^^

✎ means of silence.

ft. scaramouche x gn!reader

prompt: "i love you, but you need to shut up."

w.c. 760 words

content: fluff, partner most likely has adhd (or just a very quick, talkative brain teehee), as always harbinger! scara

notes: aaaaa content for my favourite harbinger~

standing before a bunch of fatui lackeys that he's supposed to be commanding and not to mention also tartaglia - scaramouche keeps glaring at him in disgust, why is he even here? - scaramouche is suddenly questioning his choice of bringing you to 'work.' you've got the fatui soldiers entraced with tales from other lands, yapping with the biggest smile on your face. even childe is humoured, a smug look on his face when he sees the absolute deadpan scaramouche is giving everyone in the vicinity.

he figured grown men and women such as these fools wouldn't be so wrapped around your fingers the way they are but when your eyes light up at a particularly interesting part of the story, their eyes also widen in excitement. it's no hidden secret that you're extremely pretty, some may even call you breathtakingly gorgeous but never within earshot of your boyfriend - unless they have a death wish. the fatui find you innocent and amusing compared to the harbinger bosses and they do sometimes wonder how in teyvat scaramouche landed you.

some of them in particular are fascinated by how you can jump topics so effortlessly - and forget the previous one while you're at it. you could be talking to them about the fungi in sumeru but it reminds you of a funny story about your friend nilou, it's only a matter of seconds before you forget completely that you was even talking about fungi in the first place. scaramouche would lie if he didn't find it amusing when he has to remind you about the actual conversation you're supposed to be having, watching you purse your lips before correcting yourself.

scoffing lightly at how his soldiers seem to be leaning ever so slightly closer to you in their trances, scaramouche finds his lanky fingers wrapping around your wrist before he tugs you roughly out of earshot - especially for his sake, considering childe's striking blue eyes are watching like a hawk. you yelp, pouting with puffed cheeks. so childlike, scaramouche thinks as his eyes fall down on you.

"i love you," he starts and you quirk a brow, who is he and what has he done with your boyfriend? "but you need to shut up."

a wave of relief washes over you, there it is. that snark tone and scary aura he carries so confidently everywhere he steps - not that it could ever fool you. you've seen behind closed doors, when the curtains are shut and nobody else is around. albeit he doesn't drop his grumpy façade but he's softer, a hand cupping the edge of your writing desk when you bend down to pick up something you've dropped so that you don't whack your head on the mahogany or perhaps, when you wake up some mornings and there's a mildly bitter aroma of tea wafting around the house because he woke up early to cook you shimi chazuke.

"maybe i should be a harbinger," you tease him playfully, making the male scoff in disbelief, "they listen to me."

"because you won't shut up about some alcoholic in mondstadt-" he groans and you huff, hands on your hips when you cut him off.

"his name is venti!" you exclaim softly. scaramouche could really care less. he knows exactly what his name is but he also knows that the tone-deaf bard is the country of anemo's archon - that much you do not appear to know, "anyways, you're going to have to make me shut up! they like my stories."

scaramouche bites his tongue until the metallic taste of his own blood fills his mouth and he furrows his brows. he has so much authority here, in front of his own soldiers - mayhaps not when it comes to tartaglia, despite the hierarchy of the harbingers - and yet you haven't an ounce of fear for him. you never have feared him no matter how much he's tried to scare you, it's futile. there's a smug grin appearing on your face when you notice that scaramouche has no means of shutting you up. he's silent, as if thinking but when you open your mouth to speak the harbinger has leaned down and locked his lips to yours in a sealed kiss.

that works, you think as your eyelashes flutter shut and scaramouche's pointer finger and thumb grip at your chin, tilting your head up to him. in the distance, the eleventh harbinger rolls his eyes with a chuckle. you really do have all these fatui men wrapped around your finger.

#— 🧁 sugar ‘n’ spice #https-heizou #genshin x you #genshin #genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact fluff #scaramouche x reader #genshin scaramouche #scaramouche #genshin fluff #genshin x reader

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canirove · 29 days

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Rice, Rice, baby | Chapter 23

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Masterlist

Declan’s pov

❃ An hour after Liv told him he was going to be a dad (chapter 19)

“Dec, bro. You won't believe what I just heard downstairs” Mason says, storming into our room at St. George’s Park. “It's about Liv.”

“What happened?”

“Declan… she is pregnant.”

“I know.”

“You know? Did Harry tell you?”

“She did” I smile.

“She… what?” Mason says, sitting down in his bed.

“Yep.”

“When did that happen?”

“Like an hour ago.”

“Oh… I see. Did she also tell you who the father is?”

“Yep.”

“Then why are you smiling like that? The girl you love is having a baby with another guy.”

“She isn't, Mason.”

“Of course she is! Harry said Alex is the father! Though they don't seem to be together, it must have been a one time thing or some kind of rebound after you… Well, you very well know what you did.”

“I know, yes. But Alex isn't the father. I am” I grin.

“What?” he laughs. “Wait, you are being serious.”

“I have never been more serious in my entire life. I am the father of Liv's baby, Mase.”

“You… holy shit” Mason says while looking at me as if I have grown another head. “But if you are the father, why are they saying it is Alex?”

“It is a long story, but apparently, he is trying to protect her” I say, rolling my eyes.

“Protect her? From what?”

“Her dad. If he finds out an Arsenal player got his daughter pregnant…”

“Yikes.”

“Exactly” I sigh.

“But wait, there is something I still don't understand” he says after a few seconds in silence. “How did you get Liv pregnant?”

“I think you are pretty familiar with how babies are made, Mase” I chuckle, making him roll his eyes.

“I mean how did you two ended up sleeping together if you haven't seen each other or talked since the summer. Or have you?”

“Well…”

“Did you lie to me, Declan? To your best friend?”

“Not really.”

“Not really? What does that mean?”

“Remember that during the previous international break I was going to talk with her before going home to recover from my injury?”

“I do, yes” Mason nods. “But you said you didn't manage to do it, that you didn't get the chance to tell her everything you felt for her.”

“And I didn't, but not because she didn't want to talk with me. I mean, she didn't want to, she made it very clear when she saw me and tried to slap me again. But we didn't talk because when that happened and I stopped her hand, we were so close and I was feeling so many things that I couldn't help myself and I kissed her. And then… You know” I shrug.

“Yeah, I know what happened next, I don't need the details” Mason says. “Actually… No. I do need one detail. Where?”

“What?” I laugh.

“Where did you… you know. Because I didn't see you come back inside. Or her.”

“Mason, I'm not going to tell you where we conceived our baby” I laugh again.

“Why not?”

“Because that's private and Liv would kill me if I told you.”

“But she already wants to kill you for breaking her heart, doesn't she?” he shrugs. “Or has that changed since she found out she's pregnant?”

“I don't know.”

“You don't? Didn't you talk about it earlier?”

“Mason, she had just told me we were going to have a baby. We had more important things to worry about.”

“I guess, yes… But because you are going to have a baby together, which I still can't believe is true…”

“Neither do I” I chuckle.

“Don't you think you should talk about your feelings for each other? About what happened last summer and how that is going to affect you both and the baby? And preferably before they come. Because this is serious, you can't fuck things up this time. You just can't” Mason says.

“I know. And I won't.”

I won't.

Life is giving me a second chance, one that I probably don't deserve, and this time I'm going to do things right. Because this isn't just about me and Liv anymore. Now there is a third little person involved, and they are the most important one. They deserve a mum and a dad that even if they aren't together as a couple, will be there for them and love them no matter what. Though if Liv said yes to this, to doing this together… Maybe she hates me a bit less. Maybe part of her still loves me. Or maybe that's just what I want to think.

Because if she hated me and didn't want to see me again, why would she let me be there for them? She could have told me the baby was mine and leave it there, tell me that she was planning on raising them on her own. But she didn't want to. She didn't want to be alone, and she said yes to me helping her and supporting her. She said yes to doing it together.

“And you also have to talk with your girlfriend the singer” Mason adds. “I fear she won't be taking the news very well.”

“She… urgh” I groan. I had completely forgotten about her. Most times I actually forget we are dating, to be honest.

With her work schedule and mine, we barely see each other, and when we do it, it basically is always the same. We go out somewhere, we get papped, she takes some photos to post later on Instagram and have everyone say we are couple goals, and then she leaves. I actually suspect she is seeing someone in New York and that that's why she flies there all the time and lives glued to her phone more than usual.

“You should break up with her, Dec. And the sooner, the better” Mason says.

“I should and I'm going to, yes” I say. “That relationship isn't going anywhere. We are wasting our time, and if we keep forcing it, we are gonna end up hurting each other.”

“If I'm honest, I think she's never loved you. I think she just likes the idea of you, Declan Rice, football star. And you've never loved her either.”

“I haven't, no. I thought she could help me forget about Liv, but…”

“She's the one you love.”

“She is” I nod.

“And now you are going to have a baby together. Like, you are going to be a dad. You, Declan. You!” Mason laughs. “I still can't believe it!”

“Neither do I, I already told you” I smile. “But it is happening, Mase. I'm going to be a dad, and I'm gonna love that baby with everything in me. The days of being a coward and being afraid of my feelings are gone, that's over. Because I can't do that to them. I can't.”

To them, and especially to Liv.

“You're going to be an amazing dad. I'm sure of it” he says, moving on the bed to sit next to me and hug me. “Congratulations, bro.”

“Thank you, Mason” I reply, hugging him back.

“Do you think Liv would say yes to me being the Godfather?”

“We'll see” I chuckle, hugging him a bit tighter. We'll see.

#declan rice #declan rice x reader #declan rice fanfic #declan rice imagine #football fanfic #football imagine

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toomanythoughts2 · 7 days

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Dethklok Agere HCs: Nathan Edition

☠️🎤🍕🦞🫖🍷🍺🍹🥂🐊🐋🏰🎢🏍️👓🧨🏈📢📰💭❤️‍🩹🤘

Here we are! Finishing strong with the frontman himself, Nathan ☠️! I definitely had to sit with myself longer about my thoughts and feelings toward him. I think he was the biggest challenge yet, but I believe I did him justice. Anyway, here's Nathan ☠️!

Everything is below the Keep Reading tab.

(Nathan. You have been through so much in such a short amount of time.)

☠️ To me, Nathan is an example of someone who fully recognizes regression, is knowledgeable (to an extant) on regression, and has really no prior desire or experience with regression, but wants to give it a go. Nathan's regression is most similar to Skwisgaar, where he's "testing it out" so to speak. With his PTSD he was diagnosed in AOTD and possible CPTSD from his classroom incident, Nathan wants to try see how it helps him cope.

☠️ I think Nathan regresses to around the same ages as Skwisgaar, 5 to 8. I think he tries to embody the age we see him as in "Dethgov" during the classroom incident. Try being the operative word because he was not a "normal" 5 to 8 year old, so his understanding of that age is skewed. However, how he portrays his age isn't as potent as say Toki. Him, Skwisgaar, and Murderface stay within a typical young boy playing field. Whereas Toki is very toddler-ish, sometimes borderline baby if it gets really bad. Pickles is the only preteen, sometimes leaning into young boy.

☠️ I won't lie, I originally did not see Nathan as a regressor at all. However, knowing that regression can be used as a tool, I like to think that Nathan post-AOTD is more open to all possible coping mechanisms for his PTSD. He doesn't want to go back to the person he was before DSR or after DSR. He wants to be the person after AOTD. An interview revealed that the band regularly uses Dr. Twinkletits and he has no shame going to see him. So after AOTD, I think he would broaden his horizons to consider regression as a possible tool to cope.

☠️ Following the post order, Nathan would be the last one to regress in the band. I think once he told the band, it would be a mix response of, "We were waiting for you to finish it out." and "Oh, you actually want to try this out." It's not bad responses, just a little shocked. I think the only one who isn't shocked would be Pickles, since he spends the most time with Nathan and knows more about him than anyone else.

☠️ I think Nathan would have the hardest time trying to drop. He's too focused on the fact that he is a grown man trying to do "kid things."

☠️ The band helps him the best way they can. They encourage him to "let go" and let himself be in the moment. Toki brings him coloring books and will color with him to try and get him to drop. Murderface brings out his Hot Wheels and tracks and races with him in the living room. Skwisgaar offers to play with him outside or take walks around Mordhaus. Pickles tries to appear and act more "motherly" in the hope that by being a parental figure in the moment, it will make Nathan feel comfortable dropping.

☠️ There is a shyness to Nathan's regression. In both trying and wanting to regress and his actual regression. Meaning he's shy trying to regress and his regresses mind is that of a shy little boy.

☠️ Nathan feels almost shameful for wanting to regress, since he knows the others regress, but especially WHY they regress. Nathan, in respect to everyone else in the band, had the best and most normal upbringing. It's down right healthy in some aspects. Nathan is well aware of the shit his bandmates have gone through; child abuse, sexual child abuse, neglect, homelessness, poverty, addiction, toxic home lives, religious abuse. He feels like he has no real excuse to regress or that the reasons he does have aren't as severe. (Trauma Olympics) He feels like by regressing, he's taking away time his bandmates could have regressed, or forcing himself into the spotlight. The band and Dr. Twinkletits have all encouraged Nathan to regress and have made it clear, over and over again, that yes, you have every reason and right to regress. Your trauma is important. Even if you didn't have trauma, you can still regress. Nathan is still working on getting over that hurdle.

☠️ Because he is apprehensive to regress, he usually asks the others if it's ok to regress. He's trying to plan it out like on a block schedule. The others always do and remind him that, if he needs to regress, he can regress.

☠️ He has mixed results with regressing by himself. On one hand, it's easier for him to drop because he's alone and doesn't feel the "pressure" of "being good at regressing" or that he's not bothering the others. But on the other hand, he can't stay regressed for long because he gets in his own head. While he does not mock the others for regressing, a part of him mocks himself. He can't help but fear the idea of someone other than the band seeing him like this and going to the public. He warps into these realities where the press have photos of him regressing and he's having to read all of the awful things people are saying about him, or reading chat forums. It gets him upset and angry and he stops. He ends up just being afraid of doing it for a while.

☠️ Charles personally encourages Nathan to explore all possibilities to help him cope. He's well aware of the stress that AOTD and DSR caused him. He offers his office for Nathan to regress if he feels like he can't do it in front of the band.

☠️ Speaking of that, Nathan does sometimes feel embarrassed when he regresses with the band. He can't help it and often feels upset that he can't just let himself regress like everyone else. He knows they won't make him feel bad, but it's an internal hurdle he has to get through.

☠️ Through trial and error, the band does realize that Nathan is feeling understimulated and that's one of the reasons he can't stay regressed. (Remember in "Renovationklok" when he turns on the music over the construction noises and relaxes? Like that.) They've tried different methods to combat that like loud music and interactive stations with his interests, like a children's museum. They're still working out the best way to do it.

☠️ Nathan has an odd hang up on regressing because he is so large (Football Player physique). Mentally trying to envision himself smaller is hard when he can see and feel how big he is. Especially in his shoulders.

☠️ When Nathan does succeed at regressing, he is almost always non-verbal. The band has to use Communication Cards to ask him what he wants. Charles was able to talk with Rose about Nathan's childhood and what she used before he turned 5. His parents do not know he regresses/trying to regress and probably never will.

☠️ Though he goes non-verbal, he keeps his stoic face. He doesn't express a lot of outward emotion, but that doesn't mean he is unhappy or sad. He can be very happy while remaining stony faced. The band has a very time trying to figure out his emotions and if he's reacting well or poorly to what they themselves are doing or what he is doing. Nathan doesn't realize he's not outwardly showing his emotions and gets confused why the bands always asks him if he likes what they did for him or if he's ok. He's not upset by it though, he likes the level of attention.

☠️ Pickles calls him, "Big Boy", "Big Guy", and "Big Baby" to help him regress. He enunciates it in a way to reflect an older adult/sibling talking to a child/younger sibling. He's trying to appear as that person who would be taking care of Nathan if anything went wrong. He also calls him, "Bubby".

☠️ Toki and Murderface will infodump on Nathan when he's small. Toki will go into long and complex details of My Little Pony while Nathan sits on Toki's bed being non-verbal. The closed-in space with all of the objects around him and Toki's high-speed talking stimulate him enough to stay small. Watching an episode is a little harder but if they wear headphones, he can get through 1 or 2 just fine. Murderface will drag him to his room and talk about wars. Nathan really likes these types of infodumps because Murderface has a very stimulating room that peaks his interests a lot. Murderface also has no filter when he infodumps, so Nathan is always very intrigued when he speaks. Murderface is not allowed to show graphic images or movies to anyone who is regressed, but he's able to sneak in a few documentaries that he knows Nathan would like. Nathan has an easier time staying regressed when Murderface infodumps. He has on one very special occasion laid down and rested his head on Murderface's shoulder while watching a documentary.

☠️ Skwisgaar and Nathan talk a lot about finding ways to regress and stay regressed. Skwisgaar helps him identify what exactly he wants out of his regression. Is he trying to process something traumatic? Is he trying to cope with stress? Is he just wanting to relive childhood? Nathan has mixed answers. He doesn't want to relive his childhood (that he's aware of). For the most part, it was fine, other than that one incident. He wants to process his trauma and cope with stress, but he doesn't have a goal of what he wants the regression to actually do. He's not sure how regressing is going to get him to his goal.

☠️ Nathan has internal cringe about his regressing. He has no problem with his bandmate regressing but something about him doing it makes me want to crawl up a wall. Especially when he catches himself really letting himself regress. It's one of his worst enemies. The band works very very hard to remind him and encourage his regression as much as possible.

☠️ Nathan has this dilemma of being "caught" while regressing and feeling really bad for it. The first time it happened, Nathan was in the kitchen using one of Toki's coloring books that he left there. Pickles had walked in and, not realizing he was regressing, slapped him on the back and asked him how he was. Nathan got scared then very shameful because he just got "caught" regressing without first asking the others. Pickles realizes what happened and tries to keep him down but Nathan is too distraught and leaves. This usually ends with him crying to himself because of all the mixed feelings of shame, cringe, PTSD, and anger. Pickles, and the band, are more vigilante about checking first before assuming.

☠️ The band all have their ways keeping Nathan down.

☠️ Pickles reinforces a parental figure around him. Lots of attention and physical contact. Lots of non-direct ways to separate themselves into roles (Authority Figure/Child) Pickles tries to be gentle and very patient with Nathan. He almost treats him like how he treats Toki, with a lot of attention. He rubs Nathan's shoulders or back, or pets back his hair. Forehead kisses and pet names. Pickles is trying to keep him down by treating him as the age Nathan wants to be. Pickles does a lot of talking as well, lots of questions. ("Do you want a snack? How about some goldfish? Do you want apple juice? I can put in a bendy straw. Do you want me to put your hair up and out of your face?") But he praises a lot. ("That picture looks so good. Look how fast your car went, good job. You ate all your food, I'm so proud of you. When did you get so smart?")

☠️ Skwisgaar works with Nathan to find his goals and how to reach those goals through regression. Skwisgaar isn't about keeping or putting Nathan down, but to find the whys first, then find times where regressing would help achieve those goals. For example, if Nathan's goal is to cope with his PTSD, then Skwisgaar wants Nathan to recognize the triggers of his PTSD and utilize regression to calm him down. That would be like having a flashback or getting triggered by something, and if Nathan is aware-enough to know that then he should regress to alleviate his oncoming symptoms. (Just to note: I don't think Nathan's PTSD symptoms includes regression, like Toki. Nathan has to implement it on his own.)

☠️ Toki utilizes some of his own regression supplies with Nathan. Toki and Nathan go through some of Toki's things, like pacifiers, chewies, toys, stuffed animals, clothes, sippy cups, ect. They go through things that Nathan could keep on him or in his room to use to get himself to drop when he wants to. Nathan picks out the chewies. He likes the necklaces and gets one in the shape of an alligator. It's green and black and it very durable for Nathan's sharp canines. Toki also gives him a stuffed animal from his collection, a panda bear named Luna. She stays in Nathan's room under his pillow because he's embarrassed if someone sees him with it, he'll get joked.

☠️ Murderface becomes Nathan's friend, literally. Murderface will regress to join Nathan to make him less embarrassed and shy, and to also play with. They share a lot of similar interests, like enjoying gory history and fast cars. Their personalities match because Murderface is an unfiltered talker when he's regressed while Nathan is a non-verbal regressor. Murderface also knows what he wants to do when he's regressed, while Nathan feels a little awkward about what to do, which is completely normal. Murderface is making regression more enjoyable by being a companion and easing the stress of decision making. This usually ends in Murderface either getting in trouble (They're someplace they shouldn't), Murderface getting hurt (He's ok, he's just clumsy) or, a nap because they're both so tired after playing.

☠️ Skwisgaar likes brushing Nathan's hair when he's small and braid it. Toki wants to do it too but if he's also regressed, it just becomes a lot of tugging and a rats nest. Nathan usually isn't too mad, just a little sore. Pickles has to come in and rescue poor Nathan's head if he sees Skwisgaar struggling to move Toki back from Nathan's hair with a brush. Murderface just thinks it's funny.

☠️ Pickles has Jean-Pierre make some of Nathan's childhood favorite meals, which includes your usual all American favorites like hot dogs and hamburgers, but also includes his mother's casseroles and his father's BBQ. The smell helps him relax enough to regress a little.

☠️ Toki initiates something called "Cuddle Dropping" where instead of Toki cuddling up with Nathan, Nathan has to cuddle up with Toki. The reversal of roles is meant to ease him into dropping. The others will join in as they see fit.

☠️ It takes a long time for Nathan to feel comfortable just regressing by himself and longer to really get comfortable around the band.

☠️ Much like Murderface, he enjoys the spookier, creepier, gorey things in life. He does not shy away from a lot of things that others find gross or too much. Because of that, Nathan will often want to occupy his time doing or watching those kinds of things. For instance, he likes to put pretzels in water and watch them crumble (a safer alternative to operation videos they normally watch). He also likes to play in the dirt and catch bugs.

☠️ He is not afraid to touch any animal, dead or alive. If he goes outside, he does have to be supervised that he's not touching any dead animals or trying to catch a live one. Skwisgaar has had to run after him after he caught a snake and wanted to take it home as a pet.

☠️ Nathan does not have tantrums, similar to Skwisgaar. The closest he will get to a tantrum is when he and the others know he should regress and he's refusing to do it, and gets pouty.

☠️ Nathan will regress faster if he watches a Pixar movie. The band utilizes movie night to try and regress him or regress together with Charles in charge. Nathan loves Wall-E, Cars, and Finding Nemo but he likes all Pixar movies. They will have Disney Short nights where they go down the list and watch the shorts. Kit Bull makes Nathan cry so they have to be careful if he's trying to regress as to not further upset him.

☠️ Nathan is experimenting if regressing will help him from burnout. The idea is that he is thinking too hard on his songs, so he needs to take a step back. Regressing would help him see the world differently again, when things were simplier.

☠️ Nathan does not want a caregiver but he knows deep down that having a caregiver makes him feel better. He likes the idea of giving control over to someone else for some decisions. He has bad decision fatigue. Pickles and Charles are the best fit to be his caregiver. Pickles knows him enough to know what he wants, so he never really has to make a decision with him. Charles is good at limited decisions ("Do you want apple juice, orange juice, or water?")

☠️ Nathan has found great joy in stickers. He loves the act of peeling stickers and putting them on something. He has decorated multiple water bottles, notebooks, instruments, furniture pieces, ect. Even band members, klokateers, and Charles are not safe from his stickering.

☠️ Nathan will watch Disneyland and Disneyworld videos. He'll watch pin trading videos, around the world videos, merch hauls, tips and tricks, trivia, hotel and motel reviews, the different events reviews, and so many vlogs. Something about the vibe calms him down and reminds him of home. He'll even point out in the video if he remembers it firsthand or has a funny story to tell. He'll either do this alone in his room or cuddled up with someone.

☠️ Nathan takes a lot of naps when he's regressing because it makes him so calm. This results in a lot of blankets and pillows around Mordhaus for when the mood strikes. Skwisgaar also takes advantages of he nap spots and falls asleep in these places.

☠️ Nathan does cry easier when he's regressed. Without that extra layer of when he's big, he feels things deeper. He's able to really process his emotions now, past and present, and sometimes that ends in him having a little cry.

☠️ The band has a learning curve of what regressed Nathan enjoys doing. Murderface can usually make Nathan have fun doing stuff that he does, because they have similar interests. However, what Nathan likes to do as a child is hit or miss. Nathan likes his music, he likes his movies, he likes his youtube, and his likes his snacks. Sometimes the band will invite him to do something and he will be disinterested in it while other times, he's all about something that isn't an activity or game. He might not want to play with a bunch of toys that boys in his age range play but he likes to watch the fish in the fish tank or do solitude type activates. The band isn't sure if this is because he's truly disinterested in those things or if this is because Nathan didn't feel comfortable doing those things as an actual child, and it's bleeding into his regression. When they ask him when he's big, he doesn't have an answer. He's not sure himself and feels bad that he might be "regressing" wrong. The band tells him he isn't regressing wrong, they just want to do right by him.

☠️ Nathan does not have nicknames for anyone when he's regressed. Non-verbal or not, he is not comfortable giving anyone a nickname while regressed.

☠️ Weighted blankets is where it's at. He loves a solid weighted blanket and will lay under it for hours being little.

☠️ Nathan will purposefully not regress during times where he feels like it would inconvenience people, like during a meal. He feels like it would be annoying and the band will start to really dislike him if he did that.

☠️ Nathan has regressed in the hot tub on accident. He didn't even know he did it until he felt Pickles' hands on his forehead. Toki had brought in a few bath toys into the hot tub and was playing with them. A boat had floated to Nathan and without thinking, he bobbed it up and down in the water, until he was fully playing boats and submarines with Toki.

☠️ The most the band will get out of Nathan verbally is if they talk to him about different bands and musicians. Skwisgaar has a knack for both knowing bands Nathan refers to while also introducing Nathan to new bands he doesn't know about. They will sit in silence and listen to bands together then talk about it afterwards.

☠️ Nathan is a chip fiend no matter the mindset. He is getting a bowl of Cool Ranch Doritos and he's dogging them down like he's never eaten a day in his life. The only difference is that someone will wipe his hands clean after he's done because he might be too far gone to clean them himself. The band doesn't mind this. It's a good sign that Nathan is feeling comfortable in his regression.

☠️ While Nathan no longer hears the Whale in his dreams anymore, he does get nightmares of the Whale and the world if he never finished the song. He has to lay down and sleep in Pickles room to regress and cry it out. It's a very stressful time for him.

☠️ Nathan likes to play videos games from his youth when he's regressed. So he plays a lot of Nintendo 64 games like Mario, Conker's Bad Fur Day, Castlevania, Doom 64, a handful of Disney copyright games. He loves playing Conker's Bad Fur Day because it makes him laugh. He sets it up in the living room and the band will watch him play it.

☠️ Regressing helps Nathan physically loosen his muscles. He's very tight all around but he's realized that when he regressed, his body physically loosens in his shoulders, his back, his jaw, and his neck. He also does not get as many headaches or migraines when he's regressed.

☠️ Nathan encounters doubts about regressing "the correct way" because as a kid, he was told that he wasn't playing/being a kid "the correct way". Dr. Twinkletits has multiple sessions with him to dissuade this notion that there is a correct way. What Nathan is doing during his regression is valid, even if it doesn't perfectly match up with the others. No one regression path is the same. As long as he is happy and reaching the intended reasoning for regressing, then he's regressing "correctly." This furthers into a much deeper conversation about his actual childhood and the way he was treated as a child for being different. (I personally see Nathan as Autistic, so I feel that this HC overall covers that pathway.)

☠️ I don't see Nathan using kid clothes to regress, but I think he would get into more nostalgic clothes to regress, like old bands tees.

☠️ He loves getting his nails painted and loves painting the bands nails. He is very focused when he does these nails so don't bother him and don't try to talk to him. He always gives himself traditional black nails while he takes requests what the band wants. Toki wants a rainbow, Pickles wants green ("Like a pickle! Get it?"), Skwisgaar wants blue, and Murderface always wants something different but way out of Nathan's capabilities ("I want a matchbox car on my thumbs, two wheels on my middle fingers, and fire on my pinkies.") They come out not bad.

☠️ Toki introduces him to baths and regressing. Nathan takes to it like nothing else. He loves being in the bath, he loves the toys, he loves the bubbles. It's the perfect place for him to regress. The biggest issue is getting him out of the tub.

☠️ Nathan does a lot of staring. It's not to scare anyone, he just likes looking at what everyone is doing. Charles lets him sit in the office with him and watch him work. Something about the atmosphere is perfect for observing.

☠️ Growing up in Florida meant that Nathan spent a lot of time in the pool growing up. He likes to just sit in the water or float around on top. Murderface will construct pool games for him and Toki and Skwisgaar will compete with him. Pickles is usually on a float to the side with a drink, which gets tipped over sometime during the day.

☠️ Sometimes regressing doesn't help the PTSD and Nathan winds up feeling small and scared. He doesn't get fighty like how everyone thought. He shuts down, cries, and panics. There's an overwhelming sense of responsibility and expectation that won't leave him alone during those times, along with the flashbacks. The band does their best to console him. It's a lot of rocking, affirmation, music, distractions, cuddles, and naps. It's a tiring job.

☠️ Nathan wants to chew on the wood table. Don't let him chew on the wood table.

☠️ When Nathan gets comfortable regressing, his favorite activity turns out to be cuddling and watching TV. It reminds him of cuddling with his mom or dad when he was a boy and he likes the feeling of someone rubbing his back and listening to their heartbeat. It makes him feel safe.

☠️🎤🍕🦞🫖🍷🍺🍹🥂🐊🐋🏰🎢🏍️👓🧨🏈📢📰💭❤️‍🩹🤘

And that's it! Nathan is my last one! I hope you enjoyed them all! And if you have any of your own HCs I would love to hear about them :)

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