#i actually thought this after sad mandalorian edits

[jukeboxtheatre]

he’s just a sad gay man. and i love him.

[burnwater13]

Din Djarin showing the Klatooinian mob boss the bounty fob with his image, in the Ring world butcher shop. Image from The Book of Boba Fett, Season 1, Episode 5, Return of the Mandalorian. Calendar by DateWorks.

NOTE: This is a lightly edited excerpt from another Grogu story. It fits this photo better than anything I could write fresh. Please enjoy.

Grogu’s Diary

Time for Meditation Practice with Master Luke… 

Location: Meadow

Grogu understood that Master Luke wanted him to meditate. But Grogu couldn’t help but worry about the Mandalorian. Din Djarin had only sent Grogu with Luke because he realized that it was pretty easy for a person using a lightsaber to cut up a bunch of battle droids. Grogu wished that the Mandalorian had simply asked Luke for one. It would have made everything easier. 

First, without Grogu to look after him, what would Din Djarin do if he got hurt? Or lost? Or lonely? He’d probably go back to bounty hunting. Yech. Bounty hunting had been a noble profession when the people they were collecting were actual bad actors and criminals. But it was hard to say that was the case. After all, look at how they met! Grogu hadn’t done anything wrong. Why would you kidnap someone and think it was a good thing?

Anyway, Grogu could just imagine the Mandalorian taking a bounty puck to help him earn the credits to replace the Razor Crest. He’d probably have to go someplace dangerous. And he’d end up meeting a bunch of bad people who would want to hurt him. People like a Klatooinian syndicate boss. 

Din Djarin would walk into wherever that guy was and try to not freak out the other people there. That would be hard to do because Mandalorians had a reputation for being dangerous and very hard to kill. That whole hunter and prey thing. 

Eventually he’d find the person. That guy would probably be sitting around and counting his credits. Grogu was pretty sure that’s what the bad guys did that got them into all that trouble to begin with. They stole, or skimmed, or otherwise obtained credits that didn’t actually belong to them. If you are going to do that, you are going to count those credits.

He could just see the Mandalorian politely explaining that the person could decide if they wanted to come in cold or warm. They never really picked warm, even if they thought they did. The bad people usually did something or said something that made it impossible for the Mandalorian to bring them in warm. 

Without Grogu by his side to guide him, the Mandalorian would bring this person in very cold. Like ‘head in a bag’ cold. Ooooh. That gave Grogu a bad case of the shivers. He’d seen worse but he still didn’t like to think about it. He couldn’t imagine how hard doing that must be to the Mandalorian. He was a pretty gentle person, all things considered. Taking someone’s life was never his preferred way of solving a problem, even if it had been pretty frequent for a while.

The people who know the deceased would likely be pretty sad about it, right? But knowing the Mandalorian, Grogu was certain that he would treat them fairly. He had no doubt that Din Djarin would offer them the credits because he didn’t need them. He’d have the head to give to people who put out the bounty. He’d get paid. 

Any way, a person bad enough for Din Djarin to go after them probably wasn’t treating the people they knew very well. It seemed likely to Grogu that those folks had probably been cheated too and it would only be fair for them to get their credits back. His friend, the Mandalorian, would be doing them a favor. 

But could he do all that without getting hurt? Grogu didn’t think so. Even if he used the Darksaber, it was pretty likely that Din Djarin would still have something bad happen. Grogu wondered if he could heal the Mandalorian from so far away… he’d have to ask Master Luke when they were done with meditation time.

Time for Skills Practice with Master Luke… 

Location: Pathways

Grogu was sad. Master Luke didn’t really give him a straight answer about being able to heal a person (the Mandalorian) from a vast distance. Master Luke said, “Grogu, focus on the now. You are here with me now. We do not know where the Mandalorian is or what he is doing.”

Grogu didn’t really believe that. He could feel Din Djarin in his heart and he knew the Mandalorian was lonely. He’d probably brought the head in a bag to the person who set up the bounty. Grogu bet he told that person to put the head on ice, like that was going to make it less gross. That’s a Mandalorian for you.

And while he would at least have the credits he needed to build or buy a ship, he still wouldn’t have Grogu with him. Credits didn’t really cure loneliness. 

For loneliness you need to have people you care about or at least tolerate in your life. Grogu bet that Din Djarin was looking for the other Mandalorians. He always wanted to see them when things were getting rough. Grogu had no doubt that they were somewhere nearby. Hidden in plain sight. They were good at that. Probably why the Covert was called a covert.

Grogu had taken to calling Luke’s Jedi Training School, a sleep away Jedi camp, because they spent all of their time outside. Once the mech ants finished building the buildings he’d think about calling it a school. But it wasn’t a covert. Not like how the Mandalorians did things.

Grogu looked up as he heard Master Luke call his name. He gave him a quizzical look because that one always worked out the best. If he gave Luke his ‘I’m sad and I don’t really like being here’ look, he be on the receiving end of a fresh edition of the ‘Jedi don’t do attachments’ lecture. Grogu preferred to only hear that lecture once a day. 

“Grogu, Jedi have to practice way finding. To do that you will need…” Master Luke was droning on. Grogu wondered if Din Djarin was being droned at by the other Mandalorians. He was pretty sure that the Armorer was great at delivering lectures. He wondered if the bounty hunter was being lectured about taking his helmet off so Grogu could see his face? It seemed likely. 

Grogu knew that the Creed, or the Way, prohibited Mandalorians from removing their helmets in front of other people. But honestly that was a bit silly to him. Din Djarin had to partially remove the helmet just to eat. Up a little, take a bite or a sip, then right back down. Over and over and over. Grogu appreciated that he would never see how messy or neat an eater the Mandalorian really was, but wearing the helmet seemed pretty odd to him. 

But then maybe because Din Djarin had the Darksaber now the Armorer would honor him as their new Mand’alor and he could change the rules and let everyone take their helmet off when they needed to or at least with their family. That would be nice, right?

But if the other Mandalorians saw that Din Djarin had the Darksaber would they be happy for him or mad? What if they wanted the silly thing? What if he had to fight them? What if he got hurt? How could he be so far away from Grogu, getting hurt and being scolded without the help of his favorite pal? That just didn’t seem right. Grogu had so much and the Mandalorian had so little. 

“Grogu? Grogu, are you listening to me or do I need to review the ten points of way finding again for you?” Master Luke sounded a bit out of sorts.

Grogu smiled at him and pointed to the path. The first rule of way finding is know where you are. Grogu knew right where he was and that it wasn’t where he wanted to be.

This was not the Way.

Check the link here for the complete story:

[bylightofdawn]

Totally not a WIP Sunday I mean Monday I mean Tuesday post.

Because I was so annoyed after fighting with tumblr for hours yesterday I kinda forgot to post a snippet for WIP Sunday.

This was technically written today so it wouldn't count anyway but I'm amusing myself writing Jango and Myles's big brother endlessly teasing his annoyed little brother energy so I'm going to post a snippet today anyway.

Only thing you need to know is Myles and Mace had a very fun not-a-date lunch and they figured out they clicked together on an interpersonal level. And this takes place after that lunch

As always, this is SUPER rough and has not even begun to be spellchecked or grammar checked. Also, I know kad'ika is not real Mandoa but it is so obnoxious sounding that I couldn't not use it.

EDIT: Ended up taking out the joke about a Falleen Mercenary and all the super sticky consent issues with Legends whole sex pheromones thing. It was funny but also kinda a bit of a yikes. This is why we edit things and nothing is promised to end up in the final draft. Pffft

From that point on, their conversation meandered on, covering a surprising number of topics. Mace was actually an interesting conversationalist Myles was discovering and it was surprisingly easy to talk to him.

Outside of Plo Koon, he’d never had much experience dealing with Jedi but Mace definitely wasn’t anything like how he’d imagined a Jedi to be. 

He was funny in a quietly understated, dry humor sort of way but there was definitely a bit of mischief in him despite his attempts at being a staid Jedi. And Stars have mercy on him, he’d never been able to resist a puzzle. 

By the time they finished with their lunch, he was surprised to realize he was sad their time was over. As they walked back towards the Halls of Healing, Mace pointed out various features and things he thought might interest Myles. 

When they reached Jango’s door, the Jedi paused there with a curious look on his face and Myles found himself wondering if he wasn’t the only one who regretted their time was at an end. 

“Thanks for the meal, I appreciate it.” 

“It was my pleasure,” Mace said with one of those barely there smiles of his. 

“We should do this again sometime. Maybe somewhere on this planet there is a place you can find a real Mando meal.”  Myles found himself suggesting suddenly before his brain re-engaged and realized what he’d said. Judging by the surprised look on the Jedi’s face, he had not been expecting it either.

“After your description of Mandalorian food, I’m not sure I would survive the experience.” 

“You are made of sterner stuff, I think you will survive.” 

“I appreciate your confidence in my ability to handle weapons grade spice levels. I saw how much hot sauce you put on your food.” 

“I mean, watching you try and maintain a calm and collected front while your mouth was on fire did sound like a funny sight but I am open to the idea of other food venues I suppose.” 

“So the truth comes out.” Amusement gleamed in the Jedi’s dark eyes when he said that. “I think I would enjoy that. I enjoyed our talks today, Myles. It has been an enlightening experience.”

“Hopefully it’s been a good sort of enlightening.” Myles teased and they exchanged numbers for their coms with the promise to touch base sometime soon to iron out the details of their dinner date. 

With that, Mace left him with a polite nod and Myles let himself into Jango’s room, fully expecting to find the boy asleep. Instead, he sat there looking grumpy and unamused. 

“Seriously?” The teenager asked disbelieving. 

“What?”

“Did you just ask a kriffing Jedi on a date?”

“Did I?” The fact Myles had to ask himself that in a moment of panic didn’t exactly offer reassurance. “How do you even know that?”

“These doors have terrible soundproofing. That’s beside the point, a Jedi.”

“It’s not a date.” 

“Uh huh, I hear that tone of yours. You only use that when you’re trying to sweet talk someone into bed.”

“Okay, first off I think you are skipping like a million steps. Second off, I don’t sound like that when I’m trying to talk someone into bed as you so rudely put it. And third off, even if I was, it’s none of your business.” 

“There has to be something in the water here.” Jango said despaired. 

“What does that even mean?”

“First Jaster and now you? It has to be something in the water that causes perfectly reasonable Mandalorians to take leave of their senses and start sniffing after Jedi like an aak dog in heat.” 

“I would not suggest saying that in front of your father to begin with.” Myles pointed out with a frown. “But besides that, it’s just dinner. He’s actually fun to talk to, and yes he is quite attractive so falling into bed with him wouldn’t be the worst thing ever. I like to think I am doing my part to further diplomatic relations between Mandalore and the Jedi Order.”

“That sounds like a load of osik. But whatever you have to tell yourself to sleep at night.”

“It’s really not that serious, Jan’ika. Just because your gett'se haven’t dropped yet and you have no idea what to do with your kad’ika doesn’t mean other people can’t enjoy quality time with other adults without it needing to be complicated. But again, I still think you are kind of skipping a million steps between now and there.” 

“I hate you so much.” Jango groaned and threw a pillow at Myles head which the older Mandalorian caught easily. 

“I know you really love me deep down, it’s okay. Your secret is safe with me, verd’ika” 

“I’m going to get out of this bed and kick your shebs from one side of this Temple to the next.”

“As much as I would love to see you try I am pretty sure you’d end up flat on your face instead.” 

“Fine, the moment I am released from this awful hospital bed, I am gonna do just that.” 

“I look forward to you trying.” 

“Ugh. You are the actual worst, do you know that?” 

“I think I’m pretty awesome actually.”

“Nope, just the literal worst. I didn’t think you could somehow top that mess with the Dathomiri witch.”

“In my defense, how was I supposed to know she was Nightsister?  I think that still takes the cake for the worst sexual decision of my young life. Honestly, a Jedi seems halfway tame in comparison.”

Jango just shook his head and rolled his eyes heavenward as though asking the universe for patience.

[babymetaldoll]

I posted 3,666 times in 2021

571 posts created (16%)

3095 posts reblogged (84%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 5.4 posts.

I added 969 tags in 2021

#spencer reid - 155 posts

#matthew gray gubler - 153 posts

#criminal minds - 110 posts

#mgg - 101 posts

#babymetaldoll writes - 97 posts

#diwk - 94 posts

#babymetaldoll rambles - 86 posts

#babymetaldoll edits - 68 posts

#babymetaldoll sick sad world - 59 posts

#frank iero - 46 posts

Longest Tag: 112 characters

#things i bet spencer would do with me: a star wars marathon of the 9 movies plus rogue one and the mandalorian.

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

I love you (and I don't want to) (Spencer Reid/Reader)

Requested: Yes

Summary: After three years in love with Spencer, (Y/N) decides it's time to move on.  He will never love her anyway, right?  

Category: Angst/Fluffy ending

Word count: 4,2K

Warnings: Cursing, but you love me anyway 💜

Masterlist

.

It had been three years of her life. Three whole years she had been in love with Spencer Reid. But (Y/N) couldn't deal with those feelings anymore. She didn't want to continue torturing herself, waiting for him. Why? 'cos for him, (Y/N) was just his friend, his very best friend. But nothing more. And she wanted more. She wanted everything with him, and after three years, she knew she wasn't going to get it.

(Y/N) had hinted to Spencer in every possible way that she was in love with him, but he hadn't acted on it. She actually felt pathetic. (Y/N) thought she couldn't be any more obvious about her feelings. The only thing she hadn't done was kissing Reid. And she wasn't going to because it was clear all she was going to get was rejection.

That's why, after three years postponing her own life, waiting around to see if Spencer might actually see her as a woman and not as a friend, she was done. She had to move on from him, even if it was the hardest thing she had ever done.

But working with Spencer didn't make it easier. There he was, every morning, smiling at her from his desk. Asking her how she had spent the night, what she had done. Even inviting her over to his apartment for a movie night. Which with Spencer actually meant watching movies and nothing else. Nothing. Not even holding hands.

In three years, the most physical (Y/N) had even been with Spencer had been the day she got shot in a leg, and he hugged her when she rejoined the team after her leave.

One hug in three years. That was it. Spencer was way more physical with Morgan, or with anyone else, as a matter of fact. That's why it was time to let him go. (Y/N) knew she wasn't going to find another man like him, though maybe that was the idea.

She loved him so much it hurt, and she needed to get rid of that pain.

(Y/N) knew she could get a man's attention if she wanted to. That's why it was so frustrating not being able to get Spencer's. Decided to get him out of his mind, (Y/N) dragged Emily and García for a "Lady's night." And by the end of the evening, she had given her number to three different guys. Neither of them was Spencer Reid, but at least (Y/N) felt her ego boost from getting their attention.

.

- "(Y/N)! I still can't get over how hot that guy was!! did he call you already?"- Penelope walked through the bullpen straight to (Y/N) 's desk, ignoring everybody but her friend. (Y/N) bit her lips and closed her eyes for a second, embarrassed her friend had literally yelled to the whole FBI they had met a cute guy the night before.

- "What? Who?"- Derek Morgan nearly jumped and rubbed his hands together, excited to hear the story, and walked with Garcia to (Y/N) 's desk.

Spencer raised his eyes from the file he was reading and scanned (Y/N) 's face. She was blushed, obviously nervous, and biting her lips as she smiled. What? Was she excited? Happy? Annoyed? and who was Garcia talking about? what guy? (Y/N) wasn't dating anyone. He would know. He knew everything she did. Not that he was a stalker or anything, but he listened each time she talked, and she usually told him everything she did.

Did she? Maybe not anymore. Spencer realized he needed to know what Garcia was talking about, so he pretended to be working but paid all of his attention to that conversation.

- "Thank you, Penelope"- (Y/N) huffed and shook her head- "I don't think Anderson heard you, by the way."

- "I heard her!"- Anderson raised his hand and waved- "Hot guy, she can't get over him"

- "Thank you!"- (Y/N) smiled at Anderson and covered her face with both hands.

- "Oh, come on! Don't be shy. You are not shy. And last night's (Y/N) wasn't shy either!"- Penelope tapped on (Y/N) 's back, as she grabbed the closest chair and moved it to her desk- "So, did he call?"

- "Who are you guys talking about?"- Morgan asked, crossing his arms on his chest, staring at the two women- "What did you do last night?"

- "Turns out this lady right here is the best party girl I've ever met, and in all these years, she had never shown this side of her! Ever!"- Penelope was clearly under the effect of three cups of coffee.

- "What did she do?"

- "Oh my beloved Morgan, you should have seen her!"- Garcia started explaining, and Spencer realized his stomach, as well as his fists, were tightening.

- "Please, don't!"- (Y/N) begged, but it was useless.

See the full post

428 notes • Posted 2021-02-22 03:23:29 GMT

#4

Don’t be a d!ck (Spencer Reid/Reader)

Requested: Yes! :) Spencer is jealous when he sees a picture of a dick on his girlfriend's phone

Summary: Spencer Reid can't believe it when he finds something shocking in his girlfriend's phone. And, of course, instead of asking her about it, he spends a whole day overthinking everything.

Pairing: Spencer Reid/Reader

Category: Fluff with mentions of sex and maybe a dash of angst. How would you call that? Flmut? smuff? flangut?

Warnings: Spencer being passive-aggressive. Sex references, cursing as always.

Word count: 2,3K

A/N: I loved this request so much!! hope you like it @meowiemari​

- "Pumpkin! have you seen my phone?"- Spencer asked his girlfriend after looking for it in every corner of their apartment, not finding it.

- "No, Honey! Did you look in your bag?"- she yelled from the bathroom, where she was getting ready to leave for work. The two of them worked together at the BAU, and they were late. There was no time for breakfast, just coffee... and finding Spencer's phone.

- "It's not there! can I use yours to call my phone?"

- "Sure! it's on my nightstand"

Spencer kept trying to remember where he had left his phone, but nothing came to mind because he usually didn't use it. He always kept it in his bag. Maybe someone had stolen it; they might have taken it from his bag. No, he had called his mother the night before, so he was sure it had to be somewhere in the house.

(Y/N)'s cellphone was precisely where she had said it was. He hated that. She always remembered where she had left her things. Spencer did too, but sometimes he was too concentrated reading a book. Or rambling about anything... or kissing (Y/N). Those things made him forget where the unimportant things were, for example, his phone.

He was about to joke about it and tell (Y/N) she was hiding his phone to mess with him, but when he unlocked hers, his heart stopped, and he nearly dropped it. Her phone's wallpaper... it was a picture... of... a... dick.

And it wasn't his.

There was a dick. Cock. Penis. And it wasn't his.

He tried to understand what was going on, but it made no sense: there was a fully hard male sexual organ. And. It. Wasn't. His.

- "Honey? Did you find it?"- (Y/N) asked and walked out of the bathroom. Spencer dialed his number in silence and waited until he heard it ringing in the kitchen.

- "Got it!"- he answered and put it in his pocket- "I'll wait in the car"- and without giving his girlfriend time to reply, he left the apartment.

Why on earth would (Y/N) do that? Wasn't he enough? Was she cheating? Whose cock was it? And how was he going to ask her? If she put that picture there, anyone could see it. Didn't she care?

.

- "Honey, are you listening?"- (Y/N) asked him as Spencer drove to the BAU. He had been quiet, tangled in all the doubts and questions that picture had filled his mind with. And he was unable to talk. Unable to simply ask (Y/N) what was that all about.

- "Yes, I'm fine"- he replied, serious and curt. (Y/N) looked at him and raised an eyebrow, confused.

- "Are you sure? you sound upset"

- "If I tell you I'm fine, it's because I'm fucking fine!"- and with that sentence, Spencer Reid ended any kind of conversation with his girlfriend. (Y/N) knew if he were mad about something, he would take his time to process it. And if she pushed him, he was going to freak out, yell and even say hurtful things. That's how Spencer had always been, and she wasn't going to change that.

.

- "Hey! are you ok?"- Morgan stood next to Spencer in the kitchenette. He had noticed his friend hadn't said a word the whole morning, and Derek knew his friend good enough to know that wasn't right.

- "Yeah"- Reid answered coldly and poured a cup of coffee- "So, you don't have any random facts to share with me? No rambling? no..."

- "No, Morgan, I have nothing to say!"- Spencer just snapped at his friend, and he stared at him, surprised

See the full post

436 notes • Posted 2021-01-21 00:08:57 GMT

#3

Kiss it better (Spencer Reid x reader)

Requested: Yes (on Wattpad like a million years ago)

Summary: Reader is in pain but tries to hide it from Spencer ‘cos she doesn’t think it’s important.

Word count: 3,1 K

Warnings: Hardcore fluff. You’ve been warned.

A/N: Hi! I got this request a million years ago, and today I can finally post t. Sorry for the delay. Also, I pictured baby Spencer because I miss and love him.

Masterlist

Spencer had been away on a case for two weeks, one day and seventeen hours. His girlfriend (Y/N) kept count. If you asked Reid, it had been two weeks, one day, seventeen hours, and forty-seven minutes. He kept count too. He always kept count when he was far from (Y/N). Ever since he had started dating her almost a year ago, he hated when his job forced him to stay outside the city for longer than two days, but this unsub had been hard to catch.

Luckily the unsub made a mistake, and the BAU was able to catch him. Finally. That meant Spencer was on his way back, and he called (Y/N) to let her know he would be home for dinner. She nearly jumped from the couch when she heard him. Ok, she didn’t jump because her leg had been killing her since that morning, but she was trying to ignore the pain as if pretending it didn’t exist was the magic way to make it disappear. Not the grown-up thing to do, but she was in denial.

- “Hey princess! I’ve got good news. I’ll be back in DC tonight,”- Reid announced over the phone, making his best Derek wouldn’t hear him talking with his girl, ‘cos Spencer didn’t want to deal with the amount of teasing that would mean.

- “Really?”- (Y/N) felt her heart skip a beat just with the thought of being with her boyfriend that very same day. She also felt a stabbing pain in her right leg as soon as she moved and had to bite her lips to not yell in agony.

- “Really. So, do you have plans for tonight?”

- “I had one single plan for the evening, missing you. Now I think I might like to change that plan to be with you”- (Y/N) whispered and closed her eyes, rubbing her leg in the spot where it hurt.

- “Sounds like the best plan,”- Spencer murmured and looked around to make sure Derek wasn’t close enough to hear him. He was tired of all this teasing.

- “I’ll wait for you with dinner.”

- “See you in a few hours, princess.”

- “Love you, honey.”

(Y/N) hung up the phone and nearly broke into tears. The pain was too much for her to handle. She knew she had been over-stressing lately, with college and her job. She knew she was overdoing herself. But she felt like she had to. Spencer had achieved so much in life, and she wanted him to feel proud of her. Of being her boyfriend, just the way she was proud to call him hers.

So she took a deep breath and slowly stood up. She had to cook an amazing dinner for her boyfriend and then finish studying for an upcoming exam.

Cooking dinner took forever. (Y/N) had to move very slowly ‘cos her leg was progressively getting worse and worse. She knew Spencer would tell her something like, “Rest, we can order some take out,” but she didn’t want him to keep eating junk food. He deserved a home-cooked meal. After a week trying t catch a psychopath, Spencer had earned the best dinner she could give her, even if her leg were killing her. She had to be the best girlfriend Spencer could have.

After getting dinner ready, (Y/N) sat on the couch and tried to get some well-deserved rest… while studying for her upcoming test. It was hard to focus after that long day and the unbearable pain in her leg, but she knew Spencer would do it. He usually worked over 14 hours every day to save people’s lives. She could definitely stay awake a few more minutes to study and wait for him to get home. So, she drank another cup of coffee and tried her best to focus on the books.

It was already eight when (Y/N) heard a soft knock on her door, and she slowly stood up, trying to make sure not to run or push her bad leg. But that whole idea went overboard when Spencer walked into the room and hugged her tight, spinning her around in the air.

- “I’ve missed you so much, princess,”- he whispered in her ear and took a deep breath of her scent. She kept her arms wrapped around him for a few more minutes, hiding her face ok his chest, enjoying the fact her boyfriend was finally back home. But most of all, making sure he wouldn’t notice how much pain she felt at the moment.

- “I can’t believe you are finally here,”- (Y/N) whispered with tears in her eyes. Spencer cupped her face with both hands and kissed her lips sweetly, almost carefully. She smiled into the kiss and sighed as soon as she felt him moving his lips from hers, resting his forehead against hers.

- “I just wanted to come back to DC and be with you”- Spencer still felt weird saying what he actually felt. Even after a year of dating. Sometimes, it still scared him that she would realize she was way out of his league and ditch him. But (Y/N) always reassured him how much she loved him and how, in fact, crazy she was about him.

- “Worst two weeks of my life,”- she added and leaned in to kiss him again.

- “I swear I tried my best to find out who was the unsub, ‘cos all I wanted was to have you in my arms.”

And as Spencer held her tight, he thought it would be romantic to hold her in his arms and take her to the couch. But as soon as he picked her up, he felt (Y/N)’s body tense, and a whimper left her lips before she bit them.

- “What is it, princess?”- Spencer frowned, concerned- “Did I hurt you?”

See the full post

482 notes • Posted 2021-10-04 22:01:29 GMT

#2

“Do I wanna know?” Masterlist

Welcome to my first series! enjoy the story of our fools in love. 

Summary: (Y/N) is a young SSA who joins the BAU, meets Doctor Spencer Reid, and soon they become inseparable. Join the exciting and infuriating journey of being in love with Spencer Reid, not knowing he loves you too. And enjoy almost five years of his unquestionable friendship before facing the real truth: you can't be in love with your best friend and pretend there is nothing wrong.

Pairing: Spencer Reird x fem!reader. 

Category: Slow, very slow burn.

Warnings: Spoilers of the first six seasons of Criminal Minds. All Spencer’s trauma. Frustration, angst, fluff. 

Completed.

Chapter one: "Yes, I'm a genius"

Chapter two: "Everyday I love you less and less"

Chapter three: "So happy together"

Chapter four: "Hurt"

Chapter five: "For a genius, that’s just dumb"

Chapter six: "I don't know everything, despite the fact you think that I do"

Chapter seven: "Let's fall in love" 

Chapter eight: “There’s no I in Team” 

Chapter nine: “Fuck it, I love you” 

Chapter ten: “Set me free my honey bee” 

Chapter eleven: “Can’t get you off my mind” 

Chapter twelve: “Love is a losing game” 

Chapter thirteen: "Maybe I'm too busy being yours to fall for somebody new" 

Chapter fourteen: Back to 505″ 

Chapter fifteen: “I wanna be yours”

Oneshots and blurbs

“The three times Rossi tried and the one time Hotch succeeded”  

“I don't wanna share my dad“ 

“Can’t help falling in love with you” 

493 notes • Posted 2021-04-07 13:33:07 GMT

#1

Stargazing (Spencer Reid/Reader)

Requested: No, but I needed some hardcore fluff

Summary: The team is “forced” to go camping, and Spencer finally decides to make “his move” on Reader.

Pairing: Spencer Reid/ Reader

Category: Hardcore fluff

Warnings: Zero

Word count: 3,2K

Masterlist

-

-

It was the first time the BAU didn't argue Strauss's decision. She had walked into the conference room and explained to the team that the FBI had decided each department had to do a workshop related to teamwork and trust.

- "You will spend this weekend camping together. You will be part of a Team-Building Training Workshop"- Strauss wasn't excited about the idea of her best team wasting a whole weekend. But she was glad her department didn't have to do the activity. She hated camping.

- "Are you telling me we have to spend our weekend in sleeping bags, singing kumbaya?"- Rossi raised an eyebrow and looked at Erin, and she didn't move a muscle- "I'm out."

- "David, I'm not asking you if you want to do it. The whole team has to be part of this activity, that includes you."

- "Come on, Rossi,"- Prentiss smiled and tried to cheer him up- "It will be a nice change from catching serial killers for a weekend.

- "Really, Emily?"- Rossi crossed his arms on his chest and looked at Reid- "Hey, kid. How many dead bodies are found each year in the woods in the country?"

- "Over 2.543 last year,"- Spencer answered. And didn't stop talking, of course- "We can not be sure they were all serial killer related cases. The most common ways to die in the woods are drowning, car accident, and suicide."

- "Suicide it is."- David whispered. He knew it was going to be a long weekend.

Even when he wasn't a person who loved camping and outdoor activities, Spencer was excited to spend the weekend with the team, especially with (Y/N). His teammate, best friend, and secret crush. Ok, it wasn't really a secret.

Of course, everybody knew about Spencer's feelings. He never successfully hid them from the team. You didn't need to be a profiler to notice each time (Y/N) walked into a room, Reid's eyes would follow her, and his cheeks blushed. When they sat together in the jet, Spencer would always be too self-aware of his own movements. He would try not to move, especially when she had fallen asleep, resting her head on his shoulder. And when they were working on a case together, he would always cover her on the field, and he would make sure she was safe, even when the unsub was already caught.

He loved her. Even a blind man could see. Except for (Y/N), of course. Because according to her own words: "There's no way Spencer Reid is in love with me. He would never look at me that way. He is perfect, and I'm a mess. He deserves the perfect genius girl."

-

- "Ok, Romeo, this weekend is the perfect opportunity for you to make your move"- Derek and Reid were alone in the SUV on their way to the retreat.

- "Sure. Because there's no better time to make a fool out of myself than in front of all my friends in the middle of nowhere."

- "What's with the attitude, pretty Ricky? Relax"- Morgan frowned and put on some music, singing along for a moment. Reid looked at him and raised an eyebrow, trying not to laugh.

- "Ok man, picture this: you, your pretty lady, in the middle of the night, gazing at the stars together, alone in the middle of the forest. The full moon is the only light."

- "Who are you? since when are you a romance expert?"

- "Hey! I can be romantic!"

- "I've seen you get girls only by raising an eyebrow"- Reid argued, and he was right. It had happened once, but that was another completely different story.

- "What I'm trying to tell you is that you have the perfect chance to tell her how you feel during this trip"- Spencer was about to start debating that idea when Derek continued.

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1062 notes • Posted 2021-01-14 02:29:01 GMT

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[and-claudia]

The Journey (Days 3 & 4/6) (A Clan of Our Own) (The Mandalorian x reader)

Day 3 and 4 both happen in the evening, also sorry I combined the two, I just had zero ideas for the mornings for these two days

also this is not super edited so I am sorry for any grammar mistakes

Word count: 3,109

not my gif.

Day three afternoon: chill night/giving the kid a bath 

It had been a fairly relaxed day. At least for what our lives were normally filled with it was mellow. We all got the chance to sleep in some. Din and I had cleaned our armor, preparing it for our arrival on Avis. 

We made dinner together, which was easier said than done. It was amazing that food actually made it onto our plates in the end. 

After a very messy dinner, the kid was in desperate need of a bath. I had sent Din to go get a towel, soap, and one of the kid’s extra robes Omera had shown me how to make while we were on Sorgon. We decided it’d be easier to bathe him in the kitchen sink. 

I put the stopper at the bottom drain and began filling the sink with water. Din entered shortly after I had turned the water off and made sure it was a good temperature. He set everything down on the counter beside the sink. I shifted uncomfortably on my feet. I had made to stupid decision to help make dinner and as a result, had been on my feet for quite a while now. 

“Do you want me to pull a couple of crates over so you can sit for a little bit?” Din asked, kissing my temple as one of his hands wrapped around my back and rested on my hip.

“If you don’t mind, yes. I overdid it some with dinner.” I admitted. 

He placed another gentle kiss to my temple before walking over to the far wall where we had a few crates of supplies. It took him hardly any effort to push one of the taller ones over. He helped me sit down carefully before turning his attention to the messy green child of ours. 

“What do you want me to do with this?” He asked nodding over to the robes the child had gotten dirty while he worked gently to wash him. 

“Just leave them over to the side, I’ll do some laundry tomorrow.” I said. 

I watched as the kid bit at one of the suds then instantly recoil from the taste, making both me and Din laugh. The small green creature looked up confused at his father. 

“Well don’t eat the bubbles, they don’t taste good.” He laughed. 

“Yeah, bubbles are for cleaning, not eating.” I added. 

“We’re settling into this pretty nicely, don’t you think?” Din asked, stealing a glance my way before delicately washing the kid’s ears. 

“Settling into what?” 

“Domestic parenthood. I thought I’d be a lot harder, but it seems to be going pretty well in my opinion.” He said confidently. 

“You know, now that you’ve said that, something is going to go wrong probably.” I pointed out. 

“Don’t be so negative.” He shook his head. 

I only shrugged. It was no lie that this right now was fairly easy, well as easy as parenthood could be, but I couldn’t help but think about what it’d be like with two children. There would be two mouths to feed, two children to bathe every night, two children that would need equal amounts of attention and love, two children that would need to be trained in the ways of the Force. Two everythings. It was nerve-racking, to say the least. 

I was so lost in my thoughts, I hadn’t noticed Din scoop up a handful of bubbles and blow them my way until they were hitting my face. I scrunched my nose as they lightly tickled my cheeks. 

“What was that for?” I asked, laughing slightly. 

“I need to bring you back to the present, you were wondering off again.” He said sadness laced in his tone. 

I sighed, “I’m sorry, I can’t help it sometimes.” 

He knew I was scared for this next chapter, we both were, but he also knew that I can’t always process and deal with my emotions and internal demons as well as others can. 

“I know, that’s why I’m always here to bring you back.” He said, blowing even more bubbles my way. 

We both laughed for real this time, no masked sadness. Even the child giggled some at his parents' antics. Without hesitation, I used the force to fling bubbles at him. 

“That’s cheating!” He said, wiping his face on his sleeve. 

“Oops.” I said smugly. 

Shortly after that, the kid was wrapped up in a fuzzy towel and was drying off. The water had been drained from the sink, and the only thing left to do was change him and put him to bed. 

I had busied myself with getting ready to go to bed as well. The kid and I spent so much time together, it felt as though Din barely gets to bond with him one on one, so I wanted them to have tonight to do that. 

I laid alone in our bed as he got the little one ready to lay down. He had his blanket and stuffed frog that he now seemed to refuse to sleep without. I could hear Din's voice and had to strain my ears to hear what he was saying. Tears pricked at my eyes as I realized he was singing him a Mandalorian lullaby. 

I could vaguely remember hearing other mothers, or surrogate mothers singing it to their children back on Nevarro. I had heard it a few times on Avis as well, along with a handful of other ones that were special to the force user Mandalorians. Though it was rare to hear them on Avis since children weren’t born there often. Maybe once a year if we were lucky. 

The total number of force-sensitive Mandalorians in this clan was about 350, not including our Elders, but only about ⅔ of them lived full time on Avis. Though the population in our underground bunker reached about 1000, once you began to add in riduur and children, both adoptive and blood-related ones. 

I was excited about potentially bringing two new children back to the clan. If they welcomed me back then the news of our adopted son, and the bean would spread quickly and would cause for celebration most likely. Children are always celebrated there, no matter how they became a part of the clan, they are important in keeping the clan alive and that is why they are treasured so much. 

Soon enough, Din was crawling into bed with me, wrapping his arm around my stomach as usual. I snuggled back into his warm body, I really hate how cold space was. 

“How’d you remember that song?” I asked quietly. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He said, I could hear the smirk in his voice. 

I laughed at his pretend tough guy front.  “I think it’s sweet.” I said honestly. 

He pressed a kiss to my head, just behind my ear, and whispered, “Good night, cyar'ika.” 

“Good night, Din.” I said back, already closing my eyes. 

Day 4 afternoon: “familymoon” holovids and laying on the floor 

“Ya know,” Din began, halfway through dinner.

“What?” I asked, tilting my head slightly. 

“We didn’t have a honeymoon.” He said casually. 

“What?” I nearly choked on my food. 

“Normally, after two people get married they go on a honeymoon. Even in the Mandalorian culture they do. We haven't yet.” He said as if it were the most simple thing ever. 

“Din, I don’t know if you have noticed but we’re not exactly the normal family dynamic right now. And also don’t know if you realized, it’s easily overlooked, but I’m nine months pregnant. A honeymoon ain’t happenin’ anytime soon.” I said laughing. 

“Why not? We don’t actually have to go anywhere. We could stay here on the Crest and do something nice.” He suggested. 

“Like what?” 

He appeared to be in thought for a moment. 

“I still have those bootlegged holovids. We can pull off the mattress from your bed and the extra bunk and make a nice spot on the floor and watch them. I’ll even see if we have the stuff to make Uj'alayi. The kid can join too, it can be… a familymoon. How does that sound?” 

I was taken aback for a moment. He had this all planned out perfectly. Almost too perfectly. I knew right then that there was no way that this was a spur-of-the-moment thing, he has had this planned out for a while now. 

“Perfect. How’d you come up with that?” I asked. 

“I’ve been thinking about it for a couple of days.” He admitted with a proud smile. 

Once dinner was finished, Din began looking through the cupboards to find the ingredients for the Uj'alayi. It didn’t take too much to make it, I knew we had at least some nuts and dried fruit, as dried fruits was a common midnight snack for the bean and I. The only ingredient that I was skeptical of us having was the Uj'ayl sticky syrup. 

“Bingo!” Din exclaimed, setting the bottle of syrup down on the counter with the rest of the ingredients. 

“Alrighty, move over, I’ll mix it up. Then you can put it in and it can cook while we set up everything else.” I said standing up from the table. 

“No, why don’t you just tell me everything that needs to go in and how much while you stay off your feet like your supposed to.” Din said.

“Din, you know this recipe is a hand-me-down, there are no real measurements in it. It’s just a little bit of this, a little of that, a pinch of this and that, mix, bake, done.” I said while walking over and gently shooing him over. 

I began grabbing the different ingredients and mixing them into the bowl. After adding the syrup it was time for the dried fruits and nuts. 

“Din, you like the nuts more than fruit, right?” I asked. 

“Yeah, but if you’d rather put more fruit in it you can, I know you’ve been craving it more here lately.” He offered sweetly. 

“I think I’m just going to add more nuts, I like them in the cake better than the fruit. Plus that leaves more for my stash of late-night snacks.” I said causing DIn to laugh to himself and shake his head slightly. 

Shortly after the cake was made, the dishes were washed and we were preparing for our movie night. Din pulled the mattress off the spare bed and the one off my old bunk. He had even found a travel mat up in the storage area near the cockpit. The travel one wasn’t the most comfortable but it provided a little more cushion against the cold, metal floor of the Razor Crest. While Din was in the cockpit finding the movies, I set out on making our little pallet comfortable. I pulled the blankets and the few pillows we had out and dropped them down onto the mattress. I couldn’t really bend down to fix the blankets so I did my best to spread it out while still standing. The child was all set up in the pram, with his blanket and stuffed frog. I could tell he was already tired and wouldn’t make it very long, but he was eager to take part in whatever his parents were doing. 

Soon Din was back down with a small box of holovids. None of them were labeled correctly due to the fact that they were all bootlegged. 

“I guess we just go through them until we find one we like?” Din offered. 

“Sounds good to me.” I shrugged. 

He nodded and made his way over, luckily he had given up on wearing any part of his armor around us, which meant he often went barefoot, or in socks around the Crest and I wouldn’t have to scold him for having his boots on the blankets. He set the box down and sat down waiting for me to follow suit. 

I quickly realized I underestimated how low to the ground the mattress was. My center of gravity had long been thrown off because of my stomach and I couldn’t seem to balance well enough to lower myself. 

“Need a hand?” Din asked upon observing my struggle and internal debate. 

“Yes please, I really underestimated how low this was and this,” I pointed to my stomach, “has thrown off any sense of balance I’ve ever had.” 

He laughed as he stood up. He held me steady as he guided me to the ground. Once I was good, he took his own spot once again. We set the box between us and began to go through them. 

“Any thoughts on what genre you want to watch?” Din asked me. 

“Preferably nothing that will make my hormones act up. So… action maybe?” I suggested. 

He nodded. We continue to look through them quietly before Din spoke up once again. 

“Wait, did you ever watch this one?” He said handing it over to me. “It’s the one with the smuggler, and he has like three bounty hunters after him but if he can make it across the galaxy with the cargo, he gets to walk free.” He explained. 

“I don’t think I have. But it sounds good. Let’s watch it. Do you want to get it all setup?” I asked handing the small device back to him and moving the box out of the way. He enlarged the image and set it up in front of us. Then he came back and sat down, leaning against the wall, and his legs out straight in front of him. I laid down halfway on my side, with a firmer pillow to provide at least a little support for my back, and my head in his lap. 

We didn’t get super into the movie before the cake was ready and we had to pause it so Din could go get it. It was always better to me when it was warm. I sat up while I waited for his return. He came back with two plates in his hand. He handed mine to me along with a fork, then turned to grab the kid from the pram then sat down with him in his lap. He hit play on the movie then proceed to feed the kid a small piece of cake between taking bites of his own, larger slice. I savored every bite of mine. It had been so long since I had one of these and they were just like I remembered. 

Once we were all done, Din took the plates back to the kitchen. When he returned he brought the canteen of water with him as well as a small cup for the child to have some water as well. The child was returned back to his bed, and once Din sat back down, I laid my head in his lap again. 

As predicted the child was out within the next fifteen minutes of the movie. Then by about halfway through the movie Din had begun to play with my hair, which made me drowsy and before I knew it I was out as well. I tried to stifle a yawn but it was no use. 

“You tired?” DIn asked as his fingers raked through my hair once again, earning a content sigh from me. 

I nodded in response. 

“Do you want to go to bed?” 

Once again I only nodded, too tired to speak. 

“Alright, can you sit up so I can get to help you up?” He asked.

I shook my head, I didn’t want to get up. 

“We can sleep here, your back will hurt in the morning. Come on, let’s go to bed.” He tried to coax me gently. 

I knew he was right so I slowly sat up so he could stand to help me up off the ground. He counted to three before pulling me up to my feet. The momentum added to the weight of my stomach, and my drowsiness made me feel like I was going to fall, so I instinctively reached for Din’s arm for support. Without hesitation, his free hand went to my waist to sturdy me. 

“I got you.” He assured me and pressed a kiss to my temple, “Do you want to change before going to bed?”

I thought about it for a moment. I was already in one of his shirts, my bra had been discarded at the beginning of the movie, after struggling to get it to sit right as I laid on my side. I decided changing was too much of a hassle, and not really necessary at this point. I would really only be changing out of this shirt just to put on another one of his. 

He scanned over me for a moment. “Are you really going to sleep in pants? You never do, you get too hot, or that’s what you always say.” He teased. 

He was right, I found sleeping in long pants uncomfortable. They had to go. And so without much thought, I grabbed the waistband pulled them down just enough to where when I let go, they’d fall to the ground at my feet. They were his too. 

“Were those mine?” He asked laughing. 

“Yup, I couldn’t find the ones that fit me still.” I shrugged. 

He smiled and shook his head, still laughing to himself. 

“Will you grab my shorts for me?” I asked sweetly. 

He nodded, “Go sit on the bed, I’ll bring them to you.” Before he stepped away, he leaned over to give my lips a quick peck. 

I went and did as he said and waited for him to bring my shorts. When he got to me, he knelt down and slipped one of my feet into each leg hole, then slid the shorts up as high as they could come with me still sitting down. When I stood to allow him to pull them up the rest of the way, my stomach was press firmly against his abdomen. He pulled the shorts up, adjusted the waistband some to make sure it wasn’t sitting weirdly against the lower part of my stomach. Then, as if to signify his work was finished, his hands went back around me and gave a small pat on my butt. 

“Come on, let’s go to bed.” He said before I could react to what he just did. 

Once we were both settled into the bed, it didn’t take long for me to fall asleep thinking about how wonderful tonight was. Sure it wasn’t anything extravagant, but it was the perfect thing for us. But then again, just about anything would be perfect for me as long as I had Din by my side.

Tag list: 

@smarticles96​ @phoenixhalliwell​ @fioccodineveautunnale​ @reallyfuckingangrylatina​ @fan-g0rl​ @ithinksheneedsahug​ @lchufflepuffcorn​ @weebnumber3622​ @bunniotomia​ @talesfromtheguild​ @killtherandomness​ @mserynlarsen​ @squishybitchy​ @herbo-hours​ @kaylafreakinrose​ @agingerindenial​ @shadowfoxey​ @poguesvixen​

[vaguely-concerned]

The Mandalorian Chapter 13 rewatch thoughts; the reduced salt edition

or at least I’m trying to be more constructive with the salt in this one let’s goooo

- god I miss the armourer so much. look at how fucking cool she looks, this is the mando design I hunger for so deeply, WHY would you give me boob plates back instead haha 

- I will say with the way it’s presented this place feels way too small to be called a city lol (and I think that limited scale hurts how much I’m willing to accept the magistrate as a credible opponent to go toe to toe with ahsoka freaking tano. maybe if we’d seen directly the extent of the magistrate’s power and influence and not just the burned out wasteland that power leaves behind I’d be more on board with it. canonically she’s clearly been extremely rich and influential on a galactic scale, while the aesthetic filoni takes from samurai movies in this has a lot more to do with local warlords and smaller stakes. this is not the only time the adherence to that aesthetic without adapting it for the emotional story at hand or giving it a spin for novelty hurts the episode #hot take. it’s empty homage without quite understanding why the moments you’re emulating work so well in the context of the story they serve.) 

this might be because how it’s filmed makes it seem like there’s just one big main street towards the magistrate’s palace, it’s implied to be quite a bit bigger from the establishing shot as the crest comes flying in? 

- LOVE the implication that din lets baby play with the silver ball pretty freely while they’re on the ship but sets the (completely sensible tbh) boundary that he can’t bring it with him somewhere outside where he might lose it for good. that seems like reasonable dad-ing, din, well done. 

anyway my heart is hurting because that silver ball is like a comfort item for the kid and it’s pretty clear from the very start that he has some kind of understanding of what might happen on this planet and so does NOT want to go out there, but also... that thing is narratively introduced as the baby’s way of saying ‘dad, don’t forget me, don’t go’. it’s what made din go back for him the first time, and that’s a connotation it still has both in the audience’s mind and for the characters. and I need to go cry in a corner for a while be right back

- not for nothing but in this scene of the baby being faced with din and a jedi standing side by side as if to present a choice, din literally has the sun right behind his head like some kind of fucking halo

 gee I wonder what the baby’s choice is going to be fsadfjkhasdkjfhs. (he! loves! his dad! so much!!!!!!!)

- I wish they’d done more with the bored punch clock villain, hey-I’m-just-here-for-the-paycheck-man vibe of the guard captain guy and maybe given his nonchalance a bit of a darkly comedic tint, I think it would’ve made a better moment when he’s facing off with din towards the end if he had more... character. make him a bit more of a dark mirror of the soulless gun for hire people have seen din as in the past (and as the magistrate seems to now), do something interesting here. maybe even make it more of a mexican standoff with him holding a gun on an innocent or something so there’s something here for din to lose, it still does the western thing and lets you have that ramping tension you need for when you cut between the sword duel and this. hell, have him actually give up and walk away to show that he doesn’t fucking care about any of this, he did evil for money without any driving passion or conviction behind it, and let din decide if he’ll let him walk away scot free or not after what he’s been part of, that’s a neat subversion of the trope as well! as it stands it’s just so... empty   

- baby says ‘mada! mada!’ again when they try to approach the vendor who appears to be serving foodstuffs! so maybe a word he has for food or maybe something like ‘lady person!’? (he says it when frog lady is gone on the ice planet and also as she’s walking into the razor crest for the first time. he did seem more interested in the eggs at that point, sooo lol)

din reacts to him speaking too, he glances down at him <3<3<3

- the baby seems to sense ‘ooof this is scary, time to hide’ on his own before they go into the magistrate’s place, din doesn’t appear to signal anything to him  

- there’s a lot of deliberate silence in this episode, but the sound design that gets space away from the music somehow isn’t as immersive to me as it usually is on this show? I have no idea why, though 

- ‘a jedi plagues me’ is somehow so fucking funny to me. the tl;dr for a lot of star wars villains through the ages

it also still cracks me up that din is immediately like ‘ma’am you can’t afford me’ fsdhfaskf

- I’m so happy din talks to and reassures the baby when he puts him down in these situations now, I remember being SO SAD when he didn’t back in chapter 7. he’s learning all the time!

- I think we should all be very happy this fight is cut off almost as soon as it begins, because I’m pretty sure ahsoka could kick din’s ass real bad and that would be terrible because I love him (listen din definitely has his moments, but up against a force user for the first time and said force user being one of the most powerful and battle-experienced jedi alive? probably not huh, if he survives that it’s on pure fatherly love and desperation and nothing else)

- this seems to be the baby asking ahsoka to carry him back to be with din (mando certainly seems to be what they’re ‘talking’ about right before) and it’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen 

din’s fingers are also doing the nervous curl-uncurl thing as she puts the baby down, and it remains the sweetest goddamn character tic, he’s adorable

in the long pause after he tells her “he needs your help” he’s sitting SO TENSELY, it’s only when she at least promises to test the kid that he relaxes a bit

baby (well, grogu, but he’s also baby) recognizes yoda’s name and seems to almost ask ahsoka ‘yoda is here???’, and her blink in response is like ‘no, I’m sorry’ 

- I still deeply dislike how it’s actually done in the episode, it’s so clunky and it annoys me on a craft level, but I do like the overarching thematic narrative of both mando and the baby being on this journey towards specificity and remembering themselves, of reclaiming the particular nuances of an identity that make up a self after a series of traumas have stripped it away from them. at the start of the show neither of them has a name (and din doesn’t even have a face) and they’re basically presented as broad archetypes, The Mandalorian and The Child. and now we’re slowly unearthing things that make them this specific child, grogu, this specific mandalorian, din djarin. it’s rediscovering parts of yourself you might have thought lost as you heal from trauma and I do like that very much, it’s touching and the emotional throughline this show should never lose sight of   

- oooooh no baby glances over at din when she asks him to push the stone back ;______________; it’s so awful because you can just tell... he understands that if he does this thing din might leave, but also people have clearly tricked him into using the Force before and given him this traumatized kneejerk association that if he uses it where people can see him Bad things might happen

oh okay so I think din just subtly misunderstands the baby’s appeal to him here, he thinks that look towards him means ‘dad help I don’t understand what’s being asked of me’. I guess he doesn’t have any way of knowing how complicated the baby’s past is with this yet, it’s a good try

- I’ve seen people take ‘he understands’ as baby understanding everything that’s said to him all the time, which is patently not true haha. he understands quite a lot, in the way toddlers actually understand quite a lot of what’s going on around them, even a bit of words spoken to them before they’re especially verbal themselves, but he clearly mixes up his colours still sooo

I also suspect he’s played this game before -- surely that must be one of the most obvious activities the jedi would do with the smallest children, playing Force catch basically? but he still doesn’t trust it, or her. (on the other hand he does trust that din would never hurt or trick him. help me I’m drowning in my own tears)   

- personally and from anything else in this show I don’t think din would be this impatient with the baby after hearing, less than half a minute before, that he’s terrified

but hey I’m not the man in the cowboy hat what do I know (yes I’m bitter characterization matters okay lol)

- it’s both funny and so sweet that the same music plays during this father and son playing catch scene as when baby lifted that mudhorn fkdfha

- for my money din reacts exactly perfectly to grogu finally Force pulling the ball -- he’s excited and happy, signalling that this thing doesn’t have to be scary and dangerous and that when shared with the right people it can be a good joyous thing, he moves over to the baby so they can share in this victory and attune, and crucially he doesn’t demand more afterwards, which the baby must have gotten before from some of the assholes who’ve been experimenting on him. it’s just the celebration and satisfaction of having done the thing without demands or threats or any ulterior motives. HIM!!! DAD!!!! 

tattoo this straight onto my heart... the way baby cheerfully offers it back to din... sdkjafhksdfhsakdjf 

- din breaths out roughly and unevenly through his nose almost like it’s been punched out of him and starts fiddling with the silver ball (which is still his primary tell for anxiety/stress!) when ahsoka says “he’s formed a strong attachment to you” :) listen if I have to know that all of you fuckers are going down with me 

- see the thing is... if you don’t know who ahsoka is in pretty deep detail, you might take her at face value here instead of understanding that she’s actually projecting her own feelings and traumas onto this. if you absolutely have to use this character for this part of the show you have to set her up better specifically so someone who’s never seen a single episode of clone wars can grasp the basics of where she is emotionally and what her motives are, so that her role in this story makes sense. as it is it’s sort of a compromise between pleasing old fans (who can do quite a bit of inferring to figure it out) and approaching audiences who don’t know anything, and it falls flat    

(for the purposes of this show I aggressively do not care where thrawn is, and so I’m just annoyed when we find out what this was actually all for haha)

- still feel reluctant to discuss too much about ahsoka because of the whole... situation with dawson, but I do like that she lets one of the guards leave after disarming him because he’s cowering and giving up, and that she still has her padawan braid wound into her belt. also I think the effects on her and her outfit are completely fine, my problems with her this episode are all writing craft and real life stuff 

- when you get first the jet pack sound, then din coming down kicking that dude in the face, then the mando flute kicking in as he lands properly... the only time the action in this episode made me go ‘fuck YEEEAAAAH’ it’s awesome

- again, just like with the idea of having a samurai/ronin movie standoff and a western standoff at the same time: having the scene be mostly silent except for the almost musical sounds of the light sabers hitting the beskar spear is such a cool concept, and it does not work in action. I don’t know enough about filmmaking to tell you why it doesn’t, but it doesn’t.

there’s also something about... the ahsoka vs. morgan scene apes the deliberately staged, ritualized, exaggerated almost like how you’d perform it in live theatre aspect of the duels in the genre, but in an empty way? why are they acting like this, what’s their relationship to each other, what’s their individual code of honour that makes them let the other person slowly theatrically disrobe before going for them? just plucking the aesthetics out of a tradition and plopping them down in your own thing without thinking about the whys or original context of it leaves it without meaning 

(also let morgan express something of her own character other than I Am Evil rather than having ahsoka drop the entire exposition on her. maybe you could have her snarl some illuminating lines while they’re fighting so you get the feeling of the bitterness and brokenness that has fuelled her and burned the woods of this whole planet. in some ways she’s not that unlike din and ahsoka, she lost everything in the clone wars too and was motivated very differently by it than they were, play that up so the situation’s relevant to our protagonists! I’m sorry for all this nitpicking but I HAVE to figure out how this could have been done better for my own sake haha)     

- ooooooh the way din says “I can’t accept” when offered the spear is in fact almost an exact echo of when the armourer offers him the signet in chapter 3! I thought it sounded familiar, it’s delivered in such a similar way. huh. din has some Feelings about earning things and when he hasn’t earned something, doesn’t he

- din also cares A LOT about not breaking his word, to the point of being willing to stoop to some quite dishonest methods to avoid giving his word in the first place, and I find it utterly delightful 

- baby closing his eyes again after din wakes him like he’s thinking ‘maybe if I don’t wake up dad won’t go’ or even ‘at least this way I won’t know it happened until later, when it’s over’... pure emotional torture :) thank god din’s entire soul is clearly howling in protest and he took the slightest chance ahsoka gave him to not actually go through with it 

- so this is the second time we get someone telling din he’s like grogu’s father. well, the armourer gives it more like a command/almost a religious obligation, ‘until it is of age or reunited with its kind you are as its father’, ahsoka is stating what’s obvious at this point but says ‘you are like a father to him’... maybe they’re doing a rule of threes thing and the last time it’s ‘you are his father’ and it sticks?

- anyway din cradling the baby so close to his chest with both arms all the time instead of the more practical way he carries him around in the crook of his arm sometimes... my suffering is deep and endless   

[silverwings22]

Let Me Go: Prologue

Trying my hand at Tumblr fanfiction! I absolutely ADORE The Mandalorian, and Din Djarin especially. I hope anyone who reads this enjoys, and I'll be updating as I edit the draft I have.

This is canon-compliant (for the most part) and following the show as we eagerly await season 3.

This fic will be mature, so please if you're under 18 click away.

It will also be featured on my AO3 at https://archiveofourown.org/works/31770277/chapters/78641761

Series Warnings: SMUT, reference to character deaths, canon-typical violence, some dom/sub aspects if you squint, Force ghosts, adult language, Order 66, PTSD, reference to child abuse and childhood trauma, and possible misunderstandings on the writers part of how the Force works.

Chapter Warnings: Reference to severe injury, Force ghosts, childhood trauma, adult language, mentions of past sex (no description)

Next chapter: https://silverwings22.tumblr.com/post/653223455177818112/let-me-go-chapter-1

Title is based on the 3 Doors Down song "Let Me Go" and every chapter is titled with a lyric from the song.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Prologue: One More Kiss Could Be the Best Thing

Starting over was easy.

Clumpy black goop dripped on the gray durasteel sink inside a tiny closet sized ‘fresher, the young woman inside rubbing it onto her head with gloved hands and carefully dabbing it onto her eyebrows in neat lines. Her eyes were a cool gray blue, staring into the mirror to make sure she got every bit of her short hair with the dye she worked through. The pale platinum blonde at the roots vanished, and as she worked it to the tips the faded grayish undertone darked to jet.

Once she was satisfied with her hair she wrapped it in a sheet of thin duraplastoid to keep it from dripping. She was too practiced at this by now to let the tell-tale gray marks on her skin give her away. She wiped down her hairline and ears, then stepped out into her tiny little apartment to carry on with her day. The apartment was cheap, a single room with a fresher and kitchenette attached. She’d gotten lucky, it was above a little storefront she’d managed to buy to keep herself afloat by growing and selling medicinal plants and salves made from them. She was off work for the afternoon, there was no reason to rush or see anyone, and she needed to do laundry and clean up. The grocery list needed finishing too, and she could go to the market once her hair was done.

She had been in Nevarro since just after the fall of the Empire. It was the longest she’d ever stayed in one place since she was a child, she’d actually started to know people and be recognized around town. She wouldn’t exactly call anyone friends, but it was familiar and solid as the volcanic earth beneath her feet. Almost like putting down roots... It felt odd to have those again, even if the people she interacted with didn’t know the truth from the lie. That was the beauty of the aftermath of war, though. Everything was displaced, with lives so easily wrecked there was no one to say she wasn’t exactly who she claimed to be. More importantly, there was always a handy unspoken reason to not want to talk about the past.

Speaking of which….

“How long are you going to stay here? You have obligations.” A man was standing in the corner of her apartment, in a creme colored tabard and a brown robe. He had ginger hair and a neat beard, and was faintly transparent. And not so faintly grouchy, the irritation bleeding through his cultured Coruscanti accent.

“As long as I want. Forever sounds good.” She stretched lazily out on her battered couch, curling expertly to avoid the broken spring that always wanted to dig itself into her left hip. She still had a sizeable bruise there from falling asleep on the couch a few days before, instead of going to her equally battered but less uncomfortable bed after a long day drying jorgan fruits to sweeten her medicinal teas.

“Zenaria…” He huffed. “You should have long since returned to-”

“I will rot before I go back there.'' She cut him off. “And don’t you dare think you can pull him in here to guilt me. Do you know how long it took me to stop panicking last time? I lost three days of work.” She rolled up the edge of the shorts she was wearing around the house, eying the fading circle of purple and yellow on her hip and trying to ignore her spectral guest. Her pale skin marked up so easily with the least little pressure, scars lingered for years in bright pink before they finally faded to silvery white. Her arms were more scarred than her legs from years in heavy duraweave pants and boots, and the constant exposure to some kind of danger or another.

“I’m sorry, it was never my intention to frighten you my darling.” He murmured. “I thought you needed to... Talk.”

“I don’t mind the fact that you’re haunting me, if a little confused as to why you’re bothering to waste your afterlife on my banthashit. But I never want to see him again. Not even dead. Not redeemed or whatever happened.” she said sourly, looking away from him to disguise a panicked expression with petulance. “I don’t owe him my forgiveness. I don’t owe him shit.” Her teeth gritted. “And I can’t pay you what I owe you so I don’t understand why you don’t go somewhere you’re treated nicer.”

“Dear one, aren’t you tired of running from your destiny?” his voice was so kind, actually considered for a moment the enormity of what he was asking her. Sometimes she was tired of running… but she was more tired of failing every time she tried to be anything more than mediocre.

Zena sighed, tugging up her loose shirt a little more. A round, still pinkish scar sat between her navel and sternum, about as big around as her looped index and thumb could circle. “Would you look at that? It’s still here… so nope.”

The ghostly face looked sad, and walked over to her. Well, he made the motion of walking, but he sort of glided like a holo recording until he was in front of her. “I’m so sorry, my dear girl.” She closed her eyes, feeling a cool tingling on her forehead when the spirit pressed a kiss to it. “I’ll be back to check on you soon… there’s so much you’re capable of, when you’re ready. And I’ll be here until you are.” He faded away as she opened her eyes, leaving her deflating on the couch with her hand over the ugly scar on her middle.

She looked down and eyed it again. It was a horrible reminder, but she doubted anyone she decided to let see her body would really notice; her experience with most men told her they rarely looked anywhere but the chest and apex of her thighs. Not that her sex life hadn’t been one long dry spell for the last few years… noone got laid when being haunted by a father figure. The very air turned to parental disapproval and even those who weren’t Force sensitive still noted something was off.

Pity about it, too. She’d always thought she had a nice face. Not exactly vanity, but she could admit it was symmetrical and soft featured, with expressive eyes. She kept her hair short, never longer than her shoulders, so as not to bring too much attention to it, though she couldn’t help but play around with scraps of fabric until she’d made false flowers to decorate a headband, and wore that almost every day. The bright colors stood out on her midnight black hair that she religiously touched up with dye.

She sighed, stretching herself out again and pulling her shirt down again. She found a million reasons to complain when the ghost was there… but she missed him the second he was gone. Or maybe… she missed when he’d been alive. She missed the closeness they’d shared until she’d fucked everything up. She missed making him proud of her, instead of knowing he was spending his precious afterlife waiting for her to get her shit together. And she was refusing to.

She’d spent all her life running away from what she wished she could hold in her hands one more time.

Yes, starting over was easy. It was the constant fight to destroy who you used to be that was hard.

[knightotoc]

Anakin Blogging:

What’s the right order to watch the SW movies? KnightOTOC Ranks the SW Movies Why Ahsoka’s S7 Lightsabers are Blue ”I cannot interfere” Sometimes I draw Buzz Lightyear Luke Father-son or brothers? My favorite part of Wookieepedia the Skywalker name Content between TPM and AotC  Helmet: A Star Wars Story Rey Anakin parallel Fresh Salted Hunk from the Deli Devil’s Contract AU An Explanation Are gifs libel or slander? Higher Ground Blogging Lars Quell Name Game Anakin’s Ghost Bum Out Give Me Love (Give Me Peace on Earth) Mind-Blowing Organizational Tool The Reaction You Requested Brad Pitt Cameo Can’t Explain, I think it’s Love My 3 Fave Characters Ever Worth its Weight in Gold Dark Middle Chapters My Curse It’s outrageous, it’s unfair Facts and Opinions Would these items work instead? Space Cowboys Diegetic Opera Lady Minnesota Update High-Maintenance Boyfriends Ranked + Part 2 Reconnaissance! This Guy + Part 2 Mirror Universe Karen Do Ben-Hur Again! Young, Dumb, and Full of Midichlorians Happy Birthday! + Part 2 My Ani Cosplay Best Title Crawl in Star Wars Low Poly Ani Hayden Voice + Hayden and Natalie Voices

Love That Maul:

I’m not a Sith Maul’s will Jedi Maul AU + Part 2 Impress the Bridgers “I was hoping for Kenobi” Poor Evil Gay Men "There IS no ‘US!’” Memes for the Old Master Awkward Zelda is the Boy 🙏Manifesting🙏

Other Prequels Stuff:

You’re reckless, little one (Except Shmi) “That’s...why I’m here.” Padme 🤝 Destiel Sith Obi-Wan AU Yikes High Republic Thoughts Pink and Blue Wat Tambor Theory I’m a weirdo. I don’t fit in. Korkie! Actually I Want at Least 20 Prequels Discourse by Layer Rush Clovis Sideblog? My Evil Wife Ahsoka, Artorias, and Gerard Way Wait...We’re All Handmaidens!

I care about the Knights of Ren:

Illustrated Knights of Ren Headcanons The Baddest Boys of TRoS are Friends  another Knight of Ren theory (with evidence)  Avril of Ren Evil Monkey: Origins Poor Old TRoS Let’s split up, gang, and search for clues! vs Hux

Gay/Emo Shit About Han Solo

Solo is Sad, Too Solo 2 Solo Fandom the FOUNDATIONAL Rare Pair Han Feelings Chewie Feelings

Thinking about Mando:

Gallery review The Rise and Fall of Baby Yoda Coming at You from 2002 The line must be drawn here! This far, no further! Target Audience Mwahahahahaha + Meme + Part 2 Always Read the Comments Madeline just said “pooh pooh!” Warrior Gentleman Ouch, right in the niche! Yes he means ALL Mandalorians Put That Thing Back Where it Came From

Other Disney Star Wars Stuff:

Hierarchy of Needs + Part 2 Finnrey White Feminism Rogue Won LASaT Seriously Though, Where’s Ezra? Always Read the Comments, Bot Edition Cussin’ Anime Predictions My TFA Joke Revenge of the Jedi Promises, Promises

Gamer KnightOTOC:

Old Republic Wars Timeline Worth Fuckin Zeffo OTP YTTD = KotOR 2 Imaginary Sadness of Imaginary World + Part 2 Branching Paths  Less Famous Sherlock Holmeses Hot Takes from my Kitten

Other Star Wars Stuff:

Last Thoughts Masterlist SW cartoons as meals I will never read this again My strongest Star Wars opinion Special Force Abilities Trek AU Top 11′s Balosar blogging Star Wars Writing Women Don’t bet against the house 20 Hot Takes Girls and Siths Vibing with Russ + Part 2 + Part 3 Powerpoint I’ve read approx. 10000 comics about this MY GIRL + AGAIN! + MY SON Ghostwritten by Cham Syndulla Mom Protagonists Dooku makes no damn sense...Compels me, though + Another List Starring Dooku A Daily Occurance + Part 2 + Part 3 Nostalgia and Ending a Franchise + Some Girls Planet Misandry Krayt’s Eye Color Continuity Small Companions Crossover #1 + Crossover #2

Catawampus from Star Wars:

Favorites Writing + Part 2 + Part 3 Senseless Violence MY ARM!!! Goodbye, Sheev Mashups for the faves Your SW Cameo Name Ahsoka’s suitors Ahsoka Fanart! My Mantra / My Better Mantra Fictionsonas SW Haters vs Trek Haters Darth Maul Prints They really are pretty useless Evolving Tastes The Gay Agenda Holorcon Boss Nass Kitty Balance in the Force KnightOTOC’s Official DNI There’s some good in...that! Ponchos: A Star Wars Story Fan edit of Maul vs Ahsoka Zabrak Padme Darth Hanna-Barbera It’s good, I like it Man After Midnight Snips protecting Skyguy Halloween cover of Battle of Heroes Come to the Dark Side... The Youngliest Youngling of Them All Hello, Sheev the OoOoOoOoOne! this looks better on mobile EU joke attempt (rough draft) Luke x Lando song! “Legacy Characters” Vivid Dream + Another One “Bill it to the Republic!” Maul and Ezra But They’re Cats Anakin vs Lancelot at Being Problematic  Ongoing Poll grumble grumble Quinlan feelings Uncle Oni Blogging Part 1 - Part 2 Christmas OT3 How to Make ANY Sci-fi Good Subtweet How I’m Feeling So Intellectual Give in to your cringe! Prepositions Stretched Past their Limit Panicking Skywalker It’s called “art,” Kolara + Part 2 It’s no Seagulls, but still good My Favorite Trope + More Trope Stuff Underrated Joke imo My Demands! Spoonerism Wifeless Wife Guys 3 Guesses

[vaguely-gestures-to-the-void]

Hindsight: My thoughts on Loki (2021)

Welcome back folks. Read the innocence dying inside me as I accept that this show eats my expectations for lunch and leaves me like it's going to buy milk.

As a side note from what I said in my first review, here’s an interesting article. Apparently I was clowning because the Gobi desert scene was filmed (probably? idk) with the tech from the Mandalorian. I think the studios were the same. Oh well. https://www.atlasofwonders.com/2021/06/loki-filming-locations.html

Episode 4: THE NEXUS EVENT

Pre-title scene

The new perspective of Asgard is incredible.

Oh baby Sylvie, what did they do to you. Also, RAVONNA??

The TVA through a child’s eyes is heartbreaking. The mixed use of shots that were familiar (the feet walking into the TVA) and new (the TVA logo on the floor) convey how though routine, this is an alien experience for Sylvie.

She too wants to help the man being dragged in. Maybe Sylvie was a better person than Loki, the TVA taking her away was what changed it.

We don’t see Casey, but iIt’s the same ‘sign here’ guy. The changing perspective and music really alters the mood created, contrasting the whimsical procedure we followed in episode one.

She hadn’t even said much in her life. They knew how to influence the audience’s emotions, that's for sure. Props to the actress, I felt genuine concern for her before I remembered that she’s acting.

TVA

Ravonna probably underestimated Sylvie as a Loki, a mistake that cost her greatly.

The golden doors.

Ravonna looks tense and a bit fearful.

Scattered throughout the episode are eyes watching. George Orwell’s 1984, anyone?

Big Brother is watching.

Mobius! He’s a good friend to Ravonna, but there’s a power imbalance.

Ravonna is shaken. Her past failure is haunting her.

Someone edit the “What? How?” into “Wow.” It’ll be a service.

Lamentis - 1

Loki’s apology and Sylvie reflecting on her childhood are the conclusion to the previous episode. Faced with death, Loki realises that her goals were hindered by his actions. His apology is the first time he acknowledges he had something to do with it. Sylvie’s offering her emotional vulnerability in the form of memories. Her mind and experiences are her most prized possession because they’re all she has of the person who she was as Loki, her childhood and what she was supposed to be. Her glorious purpose, what really makes a Loki a ‘Loki’ was her life.

THEY TRUST EACH OTHER. THIS WAS WHAT CAUSED THE NEXUS EVENT.

C H A R A C T E R D E V E L O P M E N T.

Ravonna pointed out that Loki will always be a “lying scourge” but they went against this. In any timeline, this could cause a nexus event. They found a middle ground.

“That should be setting off alarms if someone steps on the wrong leaf.” I had a whole idea about entropy and the timeline being an isolated system but I struggled to define an isolated system, and thus I couldn’t use the whole irreversible process causing entropy to grow causing a br- if you have a clue of what I’m going on about, or want to know more, I’ll explain my thoughts. I can understand why this isn’t scientifically accurate and I’m no physicist.

The unbranched timeline means all the things that were speculated - Wanda’s kids, what happened on Saakar, all of it - is gone.

“Any news on C - 20?”I called it! B-15 is having doubts! Her subtle unease building up throughout the ep is perfect!

Most settlements have a street design that can be from space. Sharru doesn’t.

“No. We may lose... ...you’re amazing!” Damn it literally took the end of a world for Loki to change as a person.

“Their smiles. If that isn’t people accepting their deaths I don’t know what is. Man, I just want both of them to be happy.

Please don’t let that be the love theme, it’s so pretty.

The music fading into the TVA theme as they get separated is so sad.

Time Theater 25

Back to square one in terms of trust with these two, but now they have history and hurt feelings too!

Oh Mobius.

Cycles are a part of who Loki is within Norse mythology (from what I know, correct me if I’m wrong). This scene is conflict.

Loki needs both Mobius and Sylvie to incite change. One can empathise whilst the other believes in him.

Mobius believes in Loki like no one else in the TVA. He treats him like an individual, they developed a bond in episode 2, so his disappointment and anger were genuine. This is reflected in their dialogue.

Even when Loki was going through all the Feels in ep 1, he didn’t shout at Mobius. It makes it more heartbreaking when Mobius laughs and dismisses him after the “TVA is lying to you” thing. His laugh was so bitter, it’s like his belief that Loki would be the variant to prove that variants were individuals had been shattered. What Mobius doesn’t realise is that Loki was genuinely trying to warn him. The trust between them was fragile but Mobius needed to come to his own conclusions before he could see that Loki had broken out of the mold the Time Keepers set for him.

“Just kind of an asshole and a bad friend.” Y’all, Mobius doesn’t rise to Loki’s baits. He’s so hurt.

I can’t be the only one that thought Loki was going to be brainwashed when they saw the red door. Turns out it’s just a time cell.

I love Mobius but he makes me feel so conflicted. Oh shit, he’s my problematic fave.

Watching Loki get his ass handed to him by Lady Sif shouldn’t be this funny.

This particular memory reflects what Mobius will talk about later, Loki being abandon by the people around him.

Putting Loki through a memory that was physically and emotionally painful was nasty. If you hear something horrible, over and over especially from a friend it would take a toll on your self-perception. Mobius was hurt by Loki leaving him, he’s getting revenge whilst doing his job and getting into Loki’s head.

Ravonna’s office

Ravonna has hang ups from failing with Sylvie. Who she is and what she knows is going to be interesting.

Heck I just realised are Mobius’ lapels not real? They look fake.

I wonder whether the “mastermind” thing was foreshadowing the next ep.

Am I the only one who thinks this isn’t the first Loki Mobius has dealt with? Could that mean there’s a reunion next ep?!

“Variant pet.” There’s a culture of dehumanising variants within the TVA.

The cuts showing both B-15 and Mobius’ faces reminds me of ep 1, but now there’s a new angle to things. B-15 certainly sees things differently.

Time Theatre 25

Lady Sif would kill with short hair. Or long hair. It’s Lady Sif, she’s a badass.

Loki’s exhale reminds me of how he tenses before a fight.

Notable things about this scene:

Heavy use of metaphors to trade jabs.

The lights are shifting in a consistent pattern, scanning the room almost.

Shots are constantly moving and cutting.

Loki’s speech pattern changes when he’s lying. Nice touch there.

When they start arguing in earnest, the shots are close ups of their faces, not circling around each other.

Loki was at first willing to talk to Mobius if he was treated with respect, the way they engaged in episode 2. He also wants to trust that Mobius won’t kill him. Mobius dismisses him (rightly so, his trust is gone) and Loki’s pride about ‘not working for anyone’ gets in the way rather than listening to each other. Loki’s behaviour is cyclic and his lying about Sylvie affirms Mobius’s understanding that Loki won’t (or maybe can’t) change. I wouldn’t be too surprised if Mobius is a Loki, the man’s uncannily good at reading him. He deduces that Loki and Sylvie have a bond and unsettles Loki to get answers out of him, because he knows that’s the only way he can force Loki to reveal his cards. He definitely wasn’t expecting Loki’s earlier admission to be the truth. What Mobius did was not right, but it sure was effective.

“No. Not partners.” I believe this. They had an understanding, but their goals differ. Maybe just give Sylvie her own show.

“Guess you don’t do partners.” MOBIUS WHY ARE YOU SO BUTT-HURT? Probably to make Loki feel bad ik, but it’s still funny to think Lightning McQueen is salty.

That memory really hurt Loki. He stuttered.

Loki fixates on Sylvie rather than his own freedom. This was the cue to Mobius to start interrogating.

Bruh, the feeling they were experiencing better be friendship.

This made me uncomfortable because I was so sure we weren’t gonna get a romantic subplot that I related the characters to my actual family relationships. Marvel. Why?

The music combined with Mobius’ subtle shift in demeanor from irritated to mockery was very unsettling to me. I never realised how good an actor Owen Wilson was.

“Our interests are aligned.” Once Mobius tells him the truth, Loki does the same. I really hope this is the extent of their relationship. Just let them recognise one another as equals. Please Marvel.

Mobius’ hands twitching, the slight swallow. Yeesh, he certainly doesn’t think Loki’s lying, but he’s not about to accept it.

Loki’s head shake is sad. He knows he can’t convince Mobius.

“That I can respect. I mean the lies you tell yourself.” This was the best writing imo. Loki doesn’t make any final attempts to connive his way out of the situation because telling the truth to someone he’d trusted had failed. He willingly walks into the Time Cell.

Time Theater 47

B-15 being unable to support herself, having to rely on the structures around her to stay upright. This woman deserves so much y’all.

WE NEED HER NAME MARVEL.

You better appreciate her beyond shipping her with Sylvie or istg.

The music is so mournful. It just emphasises how much everything changing is going to hurt not only the main characters. Lives change because of the TVA and the events of this episode, it’s not overlooked by the writing or music.

The poster and the 1984 parallels. Exquisite!

Sylvie not sitting straight made me snort.

Ravonna Renslayer’s office

More Theremin music! This time I’m pretty sure it’s Carnival of the Animals, XIII. Le Cygne (the Swan) : Le carnaval des animaux: No. 12, Le cygne (arr. For theremin and piano) by Clara Rockmore.

Fun fact! Clara Rockmore influenced theremin music and the instrument and was a virtuoso of the instrument. Give her a google, it’s worth it. Also look up Leon Theremin, he was (among other things) a Soviet spy. There’s a great Wiki spiral for anyone there.

Mobius was probably being lined up for a high position in the TVA. Damn.

TemPads are personal, or have different levels of clearance.

Mobius didn’t stop interrogating Ravonna throughout that scene. He knew that she wasn’t telling him the whole truth.

Sleight of hand wasn’t shown how Loki and Sylvie do it, they didn’t use misdirection.

Ravonna knows something is up with Mobius. Maybe he hasn’t been around for long if this is his ‘career case’.

The pacing becomes really fast like in the end of episode 2 as conflicts get resolved. Buckle up comrades.

2050 Roxxcart Disaster

I don’t have much to add, it’s a powerful scene.

They use close ups whenever a truth bombshell is dropped.

The music varies considerably between these scenes, each one has a different tone.

“We’re the same.” With what she knows of B-15, Sylvie knew not to be smug when delivering the news about B-15’s life.

B-15 crying in the rain hurts.

“I looked happy.”

TVA archives, Time Cell, Time Theater 25

The floor opposite Mobius is FE3, above it is 3FG.

Oh Mobius.

C-20 deserved better, I'd love to see her later in the series.

The music goes from mournful to harsh and we’re left in silence when it cuts to the Time Cell.

“You told me to shut up.” Loki can be salty sometimes.

“Do you really think you deserve to be alone?” Mobius is rattled, he wants to unsettle Loki.

The music starts to build somewhere between “...your connection... “ and Loki saying “‘WE?’”

The faint tinkling reminds me of the Avatar (blue people) score.

“How about the word of a friend?” This is Loki’s olive branch. When he admits Loki was right, their trust is tentatively reinstated.

The music is finally back to that chaotic theme we know. I think it’s the TVA’s theme.

“You can be whoever, whatever you wanna be, even someone good. I mean just in case anyone ever told you different.” Mobius corrects what he says in the first ep.

They are friends y’all I’m so sad.

Mobius can lie through his teeth like it’s nobody’s business.

Pruning hurts, Mobius’ face is in agony.

Loki’s tears. GIVE THEM ALL JETSKIS.

Ravonna takes a moment to compose herself.

Time Keepers (the final smackdown)

Why are the last 10 minutes always so insane?

Loki’s eyes only show hurt. I’ll leave.

Ravonna’s so sharp, she instantly catches Sylvie’s wet hair.

All of our expectations from the trailers always get yeeted out of a window because the scenes are never really what we think they are. I get that that should be expected but it’s refreshing that the writing is never what we think it is.

Did anyone else notice the egg timer/infinity sign murals on one of the hallways to the left of Sylvie?

Ravonna is so cold (and yet I’d simp for her).

The M.C. Escher staircases I see you set designers/CGI folks.

B-15 just gets knocked out. They better not kill her for no reason or I riot.

I’m pretty sure that Sylvie ripped off one of Ravonna’s TVA badges (or buttons) when she fought her.

Sylvie’s the better fighter, she’s had to use it more often though.

The elevator doors stay open.

It would be so funny if we get an elevator scene where Sylvie is just dragging Ravonna somewhere.

They really led us on with the Time Keepers, particularly the middle one. I was somewhat convinced there’d be something more to it. I’m interested to see where it goes.

Ep 4 review

I really don’t have much to add with these last two episodes. I’ve definitely come to appreciate that no matter whether you liked the writing of the show or not, it’s never what you expect. Is that a good thing? I guess that that remains to be seen. Nonetheless, I appreciate how much effort went into this series. It’s been a fun romp, I’ll be back with my reviews of the final episodes. I’ll also stop posting Loki content to my blog because the Gods know that my followers don’t read this lol.

I’m just going to survive until the season is over and then hopefully keep my sanity together until the next Marvel content or at least Dr. Strange.

Here's the link to my episode 3 review.

Thank you all for being here, you're wonderful my loves.

[cinna-wanroll]

*Is not writing the Obitine novel since apparently Disney cant fit it into their schedule*

That was a lie, in case you hadn’t already guessed lol. Anywho, here’s an excerpt from the first chapter since I’ve been a bit slow on uploading any original content. Keep in mind that this is a first draft, so I’ll probably end up editing it later

“Hey, buddy,” Vos clapped him on the shoulder enthusiastically. 

“Hello, Quin,” Obi-Wan offered the Kiffar a good-natured smile and continued his walk. 

“Off to the races again already, I hear,” Quinlan continued, following his friend. 

Obi-Wan cocked a suspicious brow, “Yes,” he kept his tone mild, almost adding ‘unfortunately’ to the end of his sentence, “who told you?”

Quin shrugged and turned, beginning to walk backwards casually, “Oh, you know, my usual informants. Word travels fast around these parts, especially if you’ve got connections.”

Obi-Wan grinned disbelievingly, “Mm.”

“So,” his friend gave him a little nudge as he pivoted back around, “who’s this lady you’re off to rescue, hmm?” He waggled his eyebrows.

Obi-Wan hated to admit it,, but Quinlan was actually quite charming, so he let the insinuation slide. 

“The duchess of Mandalore.”

Vos’ eyebrows shot up in disbelief, “The duchess?” Quin repeated in shock, “Damn, Obi-Wan. Aren’t people like her, like, hardcore Jedi haters or somethin’?”

Obi-Wan shook his head, “Not anymore, since the treaty of Kal’desh almost 82 years ago,” he cast a pointed gaze at the Kiffar who he’d obviously lost at the word ‘treaty’, “You’d know this if you’d paid any attention in Galactic History. 

Quinlan grinned, “Hey, I passed that class.”

“Only because you bribed Bant with Gumbah pudding for a month and a half.”

“Whatever, man.”

Obi-Wan smiled adding, “Not to mention, she’s supposedly the leader of some pacifist group there. The New Mandalorians.”

Quinlan wrinkled his nose, “Sounds like a bunch of nonsense to me. Nothing ever got done by pacifist legions in the past- at least not anything that lasted longer than a couple of years. This galaxy needs structure, not some peaceful delusionists. Besides, how peaceful can a Mandalorian organization be?”

Obi-Wan pursed his lips and looked down, forced to admit he’d thought the same things. How peaceful was a group that’d managed to stay alive among even the harshest of cultural climates? Obi-Wan was guessing not very peaceful at all. 

“I’m not sure, but Master Windu said that this mission is of utmost importance.”

Quinlan sniffed, “Yeah, to his paycheck, probably.”

Obi-Wan rolled his eyes, “Quinlan, you know Jedi don’t get paid.”

“Most Jedi. I’m just saying, those council members always seem to be a little concerned with issues outside the Republic, than with issues at home.”

Obi-Wan grimaced- he and Vos had never agreed on that particular subject, “We are defenders of the galaxy, Quin.”

His friend shrugged again, changing his tone immediately and smiling, “Yeah, well, just don’t fall too in love with her, mmkay? She might chop that pretty little head of yours off for peace”

“Isn’t that technically what we do sometimes?” Obi-Wan made a pained expression, despite the fact that he was willing to admit it. There was just something about it that made him feel guilty. 

“Yeah, but at least we’re upfront about it.”

“And who’s to say they’re not?”

“Fair enough.”

They walked in companionable silence for a moment, both lost in their own thoughts.

Although unlikely friends at first glance, Obi-Wan and Quinlan actually got along quite well. They were both calculated, witty, mischievous, and sarcastic fighters with a knack for getting themselves in trouble. 

 Except while Quinlan owned up to causing his antics, Obi-Wan was always the unfortunate person who could be convinced to join in for a cause when things were already taking a turn for the worst. 

They stepped up to the entrance of the mess hall, which was bustling with masters and padawans alike cramming generous heapfuls of muja muffins and mist-pudding onto their trays. 

“Mm-mm,” Quin rubbed his hands together, “I am starving!”

Obi-Wan couldn’t help but nod eagerly in agreement, eyeing the tantalizing food as a group of creche students passed them. 

He wasn’t surprised to spot Qui-Gon at the very front of the extensive line, on time for the food, of course. Obi-Wan rolled his eyes.

“Good morning, boys.”

Obi-Wan turned around towards the direction of the voice, lighting up.

A familiar emerald face greeted him, serene and kind. 

Quin turned his head to her as well, “Mornin’ Luminara.”

Obi-Wan bowed and nodded towards the food line. 

“Can you believe this?”

Luminara smiled faintly and sniffed, peering in, “On buffet day? Certainly.”

“Aka the only day they serve real food in this Force-forsaken place,” Vos chimed in.

Obi-Wan and Luminara shared a look, but inside Obi-Wan couldn’t help but agree.

The Temple was many things, but it definitely wasn’t a diner. 

“What do you think our chances are of paying off some people at the front for their spots?” The Kiffar queried, gazing back at Obi-Wan and Luminara for suggestions. 

“Oh?” Obi-Wan couldn’t help the sarcasm that snuck into his tone, “and with what credits do you intend to do that?” 

“Dunno. I was thinking more… services,” Quin countered.

 Just as Obi-Wan was about to ask what services Vos was implying, Luminara interjected, “At this point, I doubt we’d even get close enough to the masters at the front of the line without being taken away.” 

Obi-Wan nodded as he followed her gaze to where a group of large, burly-looking masters stood glaring at the passerby. It looked like they hadn’t gotten their caff yet that morning. He gulped.

“Luminara’s right, Quin, we should forget it and wait until the line dies down.”

His friend glanced over at him, “Don’t you have to leave by then?”

Obi-Wan drew in a sharp breath as Luminara frowned.

“What? You’re leaving again?”

He nodded, glaring daggers at Vos and refsing to look at Luminara. 

“Yes, I was just notified about it this morning. Had I known sooner, I would’ve told you.”

“And yet Quin knows,” she quipped, narrowing her eyes and crossing her arms indignantly.

“I’m tellin’ you people, I’ve got connections,” Vos emphasized, leaning against the entrance wall. 

Ignoring the Kiffar, Luminara began, “They’re over-working you again.”

Obi-Wan threw Quinlan an accusatory look that was responded to with a simple ‘here we go again’ eyeroll.

“It’s not fair to you, or to the other padawans who want mission opportunities. They want and deserve experience too! I cannot understand why the council is doing this. My suggestion would be-” she was cut off by an approaching figure, which turned out to be her master. 

Obi-Wan winced.

“Padawan Unduli, do you really think your time is best spent here, dawdling with these hooligans?”

Obi-Wan disregarded the snide comment, instead trying to throw an apologetic gaze at his friend. Although out of the corner of his eye he saw Quinlan bristle at the remark.

Luminara bowed and lowered her head, “No, master.”

“Then come along, it’s no wonder you’re always hungry.”

She followed obediently, but not before shooting Obi-Wan and Quinlan a sad, apologetic gaze as she left.

Quin snarled when they were out of earshot, “Now there’s someone I’d like to pay off. With a good kick in the-”

“Vos,” Obi-Wan chided sternly. 

His friend huffed and glowered, “What?”

“Don’t be crass. At least, not this early in the morning.”

 Quin shrugged and rolled his eyes, finally stepping away to look for an open table. 

“Besides,” Obi-Wan added while following, “I’m pretty sure you’’l have plenty of chances to do that when I’m gone, and am unable to provide you with proper impulse control.”

Quin laughed.

“Nah, it’s not as much fun without someone there sassing me.”

He returned his friend's cheerful look, “That’s a fair point.”

Luckily for the pair, Obi-Wan spotted a good amount of free space beside Qui-Gon, mostly because his master had a reputation of being a messy eater- not to mention, he had taken two trays. 

“Bingo,” Obi-Wan grinned at Vos.

The two padawans approached Jinn and sat beside him, Obi-Wan respectfully nodding while Quinlan eyed the food on the second tray. 

“Hello, master,” Obi-Wan greeted. 

“Hello, Obi-Wan,” Qui-Gon replied after swallowing a mouthful of food. He took a swig of blue milk and then turned to acknowledge Quin, “Padawan Vos.”

The Kiffar snapped his gaze away from the food, nodding quickly.

“So,” Obi-Wan began, “are there any other details I should be aware of during this mission?” 

Jinn turned his full attention on Obi-Wan, “The duchess is young- about your age, I believe. She’s said to be stubborn but kind, with a deep passion for all living things… much like someone else I know.” A playful spark lit up Qui-Gon’s eyes, something about them very knowing. 

Obi-Wan did his best to concentrate on what his master was saying instead of Vos’ waggling eyebrows and his hand, which swiped a biscuit from Qui-Gon’s tray. He nodded, encouraging his master to continue.

“She’s also just returned home from a political academy located here. But most importantly, she probably won’t take kindly to our help. This mission was administered by her advisor, not her. And, despite the current peace, I’m sure she hasn’t been brought up in an environment that is… encouraging of the Jedi.”

Point two, Quinlan grinned like a fool as he stole a piece of meat of Jinn’s tray. 

“Not to mention,” Qui-Gon continued, oblivious, “her father was a warlord.” 

Oh, Force. Suddenly, Obi-Wan was a whole lot less enthusiastic about this whole thing, and that wasn’t saying much considering his attitude towards it was already pretty negative. 

He had to protect a war-monger’s daughter? Perfect.

“Wow,” Vos mused, “talk about impressing the father in-law,” he chuckled as Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan turned to glare at him, “she better be really worth it Obi-Wan. Is she at least ho-”

He was interrupted by Qui-Gon’s harsh tone, “her father is dead, padawan Vos.”

“Oh,” Quinlan replied faintly, looking down, “my condolences.”

Qui-Gon shook his head and turned back to Obi-Wan, “All in all, our goal is to be an unseen protection service. After all, we don’t want her getting into more trouble just because we put her off.”

“Why is it that we don’t want her getting into any more trouble, master?” Obi-Wan asked, frowning slightly.

Qui-Gon mirrored his expression, “Because, padawan, she requested our help.”

“I thought her advisor was the one who requested our help,” Obi-Wan retorted under his breath, although he knew he shouldn't've. Although he was surprised to admit to himself that he didn’t quite care- after all, the burly masters in line weren’t the only ones who hadn’t had their caff yet.

 Qui-Gon’s frown deepened, “She is her people’s last hope for peace and civility, Obi-Wan. And you will do best not to question her, our assignment, or the council again.”

Obi-Wan looked away dejectedly, “Yes, master.”

He left out any remarks he could’ve made about Qui-Gon doing both of the aforementioned things constantly. 

“Now, just let me finish my-,” Qui-Gon turned to his practically empty tray, where Vos had mysteriously disappeared, and sighed.

Obi-Wan stifled a chuckle, leaving behind only a mischievous sparkle  in his grey-blue eyes. 

“Master?” He asked, encouraging Qui-Gon to wrap up his thought. 

“Let’s just be on our way then, Obi-Wan.”

They rose and exited the mess hall, out into the long corridors and what would be a much more eventful trip than what young Obi-Wan was expecting. 

╭━ ⋅𖥔⋅ ━━✶━━ ⋅𖥔⋅ ━╮

The temple docking bay was huge, containing as large as a republic freighter to as small as a landspeeder. 

 Droids whizzed about everywhere, attending to some business or another. A few officials or Jedi stood out against the field of endless gleaming metal, but besides that there was nothing else living operating within the place. 

Enormous ceilings towered over Obi-Wan’s head as his master led him through the maze of docking bays and landing platforms, until they finally reached a small doorway towards the back. 

A droid met them there to provide them with a datapad of information on the ship; mostly a run-down of the controls and its condition. 

Qui-Gon nodded in satisfaction, “Everything seems to be in order here.” He handed it back to the droid, who whisked it away immediately.

“How long will our journey be, master?” Obi-Wan inquired, hoping he didn’t sound whiny. 

“Not very long. About six standard hours, providing there aren't any hyperspace issues.”

Obi-Wan nodded, stepping out of the doorway and into the bright light of Coruscant. 

The ship was a pretty good size; a standard model with red stripes running along its sides. 

The Trial, curious. Obi-Wan didn’t pay ship names much mind, but that was just rather odd. 

Qui-Gon went to go check with the official while Obi-Wan spotted Quinlan leaning against a couple of crates near the door. 

“Vos? How did you know this is where I’d be?”

“Relax man, I just came to say goodbye before you left to go out and find your true love or whatever.”

“You didn’t answer my question.”

Vos grinned and pulled him into a tight hug, Obi-Wan squirming beneath him.

“Stop that,” he said, finally managing to push his friend back.

“Was Qui-Gon pissed about his food?” Quin asked, gazing hopefully to where Obi-Wan’s master and the other man were still conversing.

“Probably, although not any more than me- I still haven’t had any food yet.” His stomach growled, as if to prove a point.

“Eh, you snooze you lose.”

Obi-Wan grimaced as Vos began to saunter away, his finally parting words being, “Later, buddy! Don’t, like, become a father or anything while you’re gone- I’d hate to miss that.”

Eyeroll. “Goodbye, Vos!”

He shook his head at the sound of his friend’s distant laughter, pacing over to Qui-Gon without so much as a glance backwards. 

“Is everything alright, master?”

“Yes, just making conversation while you and Quinlan said your goodbyes.”

So he did know. Well, that showed Obi-Wan not to underestimate his master. 

“Then lets away.”

Obi-Wan nodded to the man and walked up the ramp into the ship, glancing back at the gleaming building one last time before he took a seat in the cockpit, not even bothering to explore the rest of the ship. He already knew what this model’s interior looked like, and wanted to get this assignment over with as quickly as possible.

Later, Obi-Wan found irony in that wish as he sat in the exact same seat upon the departure of his mission, where the room and his heart had seemed a lot more empty. 

Qui-Gon sat beside him, taking control and handing Obi-Wan the mission log from earlier. 

“What am I to do with this?” He asked, frowning at the tablet-like device. 

“Make notes of the journey,” Qui-Gon replied, “the council emphasized everything is to be included, and since I can’t ever seem to write it the way they want, I thought I’d have you do it.”

“But-”

“Do you have something more productive you could be doing, padawan?”

He shook his head and took the log obligingly without further complaint. It was light in his hands, and he placed it in his lap as he strapped himself in. 

“Our belongings have already been loaded on, everything is in order,” Qui-Gon said, still fiddling with the ship’s settings. 

“Do we have any food?” Obi-Wan asked hopefully. 

Qui-Gon nodded, “It’s back in the kitchen area. Why didn’t you eat earlier?”

Obi-Wan scoffed, “You saw the line, right?”

“You snooze, you lose.”

Obi-Wan sighed, “How about caff?”

Qui-Gon shook his head no, and Obi-Wan deflated. 

“Something tells me that despite my hopes, this is going to be a very long couple of months,” Obi-Wan pouted, leaning his head back against the seat. 

Qui-Gon smiled, “You’re such a pessimist, Obi-Wan. Ready?”

Obi-Wan nodded, “I suppose.”

“Good. Then let’s get this show on the road.”

The ship lifted off, soared out of the atmosphere and into space, and Obi-Wan made sure to note in his report that Qui-Gon forgot which lever to guide forward for hyperspace. When he did find it, darkness and impossibly bright specks of light blended together, and they rocketed forwards before coasting through space, towards destiny. 

[kopykunoichi]

The Legacy of Star Wars: An Open Letter to the Writers and Creators of A Galaxy Far, Far Away

“Suddenly the Rebellion is real for you. Some of us live it. I’ve been in this fight since I was six years old!” ~ Cassian Andor

I saw a great meme once that played off that quote, meant to depict an older fan describing to a newer fan how they had been invested in the story of Star Wars from childhood. I could relate. Though I am not old enough to have seen the original Star Wars movies in theater, they were a significant part of my childhood. I remember renting the original theatrical VHS from our local video store all the time when I was little. Then we bought the digitally remastered Special Edition VHS Box Set and I spent the next decade wearing them out! We would have popcorn and Star Wars marathons all the time. My friends and I would always pretend we were in the story. My swingset was the Millennium Falcon. I was that 11-year-old girl who would argue with my friends over who was hotter - Luke or Han. (The correct answer is Han, of course!) My mother would read the Expanded Universe novels to me in the afternoons and we would talk about the characters. All my spending money went to Jedi Apprentice books and 6 inch action figures. In short, I loved Star Wars. 

I was 13 when The Phantom Menace hit theaters, and I couldn’t believe how lucky I was to get to see new stories from my favorite fictional universe play out on the big screen. Though I struggled a bit with some of the acting, the story was absolutely amazing to me. Star Wars felt all the more real to me with the amazing graphics and intense action sequences - not to mention the layers of politics and the complexity of the story. I watched Revenge of the Sith several times in theaters, and though it broke my heart to see Anakin’s fall, I never considered it to be a sad ending overall, when taken as a whole with the original trilogy. 

When the Clone Wars aired in 2008, I was ecstatic. Here was an Anakin I could actually get into (sorry, Hayden). I loved him. I adored Ahsoka. I wanted to marry Rex. The character development and the plot deepened my attachment to that era, and made me question everything I had previously taken for granted as good and bad. The whole system was flawed - the Republic and the Jedi. It wasn’t just a matter of mistakes being made and the wool being pulled over their eyes, there was deep rooted corruption in the side that I once felt was “good”. The light side and the dark side were not as black and white as I thought. I found myself strongly disliking some of the “good guys” and deeply sympathizing with some downright detestable people (I don’t know how you got me to care for Maul, Filoni - but well done). While the series had not yet ended, we knew where it was going. But still, we had already lived through the pain of Order 66, and we knew that the story would eventually culminate in a victory at the end of Return of the Jedi.

I couldn’t believe our luck when the first installment of the sequel trilogy hit the theaters in 2015. It had some of the feelings of a reboot, but I was beyond thrilled to have a series of Star Wars movies that I could now share with my children, as my parents had shared them with me. Though it was hard to say goodbye to the first love of my life, Han Solo - I just knew that Ben would be redeemed and Han’s sacrifice would be worth it...

2016 brought us Rogue One. We knew how that one was going to end too, but we still ate it up. I fell in love with a whole new set of characters, only to see each and every one of them die in the end. Talk about tragedy. But Leia’s line about hope reminded us that five minutes later, a whiny little farm boy was about to have his whole life upended in the best sort of way...so it was okay. Sort of.

Four years of Rebels ended in 2018, and it was so, so lovely - but it hurt so, so much. My perfect, beautiful space family had been torn apart with Kanan’s death. Ezra was missing. Rex was a 29-year-old man who should have been in his prime, but was instead struggling with the wear and tear of a 60-year-old body. Ahsoka was separated from him - AGAIN - and then she left with Sabine to look for Ezra. The ending still held the promise of the fight to come with the Empire, but the majority of our characters were left in a place of grief and brokenness.

2019 brought an end to the sequel trilogy. Once again, we had characters who pulled at our heartstrings, and an interesting struggle between “light” and “dark” that reminded me of the complexities introduced in The Clone Wars. It became more apparent than ever that balance in the Force did not mean the light triumphing over the dark, but instead a harmony between the two. At least, that’s what I thought. Until I watched every person I loved from the original trilogy die, Palpatine come back (and die) again, and the same exact ending of Return of the Jedi played out before me - except not as happy. Why? Because Anakin’s legacy had been reduced to ashes - his rise, fall, redemption, and sacrifice rendered null and void. The last Skywalker was redeemed and promptly killed, just like his grandfather. But because Rey Palpatine decided that she identified as Rey Skywalker, it was supposed to be okay. She then went to go hang out (or live?) alone on Tatooine because that’s where it all started. I was dumbfounded. This was the satisfying, hopeful, ending we were promised? How? 

Believe it or not, I’m not here to trash the sequels - I enjoyed them very much - right up until the last 20 minutes. But in that space of time, the entire legacy of the Skywalker family went up in smoke, and the legacy of Star Wars along with it. Since Return of the Jedi, there have been no happy endings to a Star Wars movie trilogy or TV show. And with the ending of The Rise of Skywalker, that one happy ending we did have was ripped from us as well. Star Wars is now a never ending series of tragic endings. The lessons we are left with: Don’t fall in love in Star Wars, it will end badly. Your actions ultimately result in failure. As soon as you turn good, you die. There is no balance in the Force, just a pendulum swinging back and forth for all time. 

Then The Clone Wars finally got her last season. I didn’t think Order 66 could have hurt worse, but Filoni set out to prove us all wrong...and succeeded. I’m still not over it. And once more, the bitterness I felt over the ending to the sequels (which had begun to subside) flared up all over again. What was it all for? All that pain. All that sacrifice. No happy endings. 

I still love Star Wars. Nothing can take that away from me. No amount of bad writing can change that. And there are still plenty of good writers and creators working on Star Wars content. But good writers spinning tales of tragedy and endless pain negates the power of good writing. The Star Wars of my childhood is not the Star Wars of today. We wore out those VHS tapes because we loved the stories and the people. But my kids are not going to wear out DVDs where everyone they love dies or ends up alone. They aren’t going to queue up those digital movies and series over and over - because who wants to subject themselves to that kind of torture?

Just about the only safe space for Star Wars fans right now is fanfiction archives where the people who love the characters are busy writing fix-it fics to squeeze some sort of satisfying ending out of the canon content. The Mandalorian is literally our last hope for a Star Wars story that has the potential to end well. I swear, if Din Djarin ends up dead or alone at the end of this series, I’m going to lose it. The overwhelming sentiment of the Star Wars fanbase - from original trilogy fanboys to Tumblr blogging Reylos, and everyone in between - is that of dissatisfaction with canon content (with the exception of The Mandalorian). So much so, that many fans are just saying “screw it” and churning out a myriad of fanfiction AUs because there is no way to salvage what has been written. Half of Tumblr is in therapy after The Rise of Skywalker ending and the last episode of Clone Wars - but they weren’t exactly stable to begin with. The other forums and social media platforms are not much better, though.

It’s not just about the quality of writing - because Filoni and co. have done exceptional work with The Clone Wars, Rebels, and The Mandalorian. It’s the tragedy, guys. We can’t take it anymore. Is this really what we want the Star Wars legacy to be? Sadness? Despair? It’s a story about war - people are going to die. I get that. Victory comes at a price, but the cost can’t be worse than the victory. I want to sit down with my kids and watch Star Wars over and over again. The Mandalorian has given us a taste of that - but I’m almost afraid of where it will go. We’ve been burned so many times, I’m beginning to know what Anakin felt like on Mustafar - writhing in agony and screaming “I hate you” to someone he once loved. 

I remember happier days when Luke and Leia and Han were laughing and smiling with their friends while Yoda, Obi-Wan, and Anakin looked on. I want that back. Filoni. Favreau. Creators. Writers. Producers. Directors. You are our only hope for canon content. Use The Mandalorian wisely. Use Din’s story to bless other characters. Here’s some ideas:

Let Din have a happy ending! Preferably with someone he loves and respects at his side (like Cara). 

Let Cara become a Mandalorian - and put Paz Vizsla in charge of her training (we need to see them spar).

Let what’s left of the Tribe establish a new Mandalorian colony - and let Sabine Wren lead it. And give her that Darksaber back - she earned it. 

Let Ezra come back from regions unknown with a deeper understanding of the Force, and have him train the child in the new colony. 

Forget the Jedi and Sith, let’s start a medical training center/hospital run by Force users who can help heal people when modern medicine fails! 

Ahsoka can use her talents for that too. 

Find the rest of the child’s race and bring any of their Force sensitives onboard. 

Let Boba Fett and Din have their epic showdown, but then use a sample of Boba’s unaltered DNA and some mystical Force healing to restore Rex’s body to what a 43-year-old should be (and then he can marry Ahsoka so we can have the Clone/Jedi couple we always wanted...thanks to you, Filoni).

Let the Mandalorians partner with the New Republic in the Outer Rim as law enforcement instead of bounty hunters, so they can get their reputation back. 

They can train new recruits and pilots, just like Fenn Rau trained clones. 

Let them keep their autonomy and traditions, while helping keep the New Republic honest.

Let them be a force for good in the galaxy, for once. 

The Mandalorian could serve as the vessel to give a lot of characters with unresolved or tragic storylines some closure and better endings. If not The Mandalorian, then other new shows. My 6-year-old daughter wants nothing more than to be Ahsoka Tano. My 3-year-old son asks me to watch The Mandalorian every day. My 18-month-old daughter walks around in her brother’s Mandalorian helmet babbling “Way”. Please let me share the Star Wars legacy that I grew up loving with them. Let me show them the happy endings I enjoyed. Let me show them that even in the midst of conflict, not every life has to be ruined. Let me show them a Star Wars story with a satisfying ending. Hope. Redemption. Love. That’s what Star Wars means to me. 

May the Force be With You (and your pens),

Rebekah, A Star Wars Fan

[pacificwanderer]

Super Salacious B. Crumb Sunday Headcanons!

Lots of thoughts and speculation about what’s to come/what people want with The Rise of Skywalker and some fun headcanons :)

lotus063 said:

Imagine before Rey, there was a Mandalorian named Rin aka daughter of Ezra Bridger who was a member of the Resistance but was like if Rey was more of a personal assassin for them resulting in her leaving because she was being used as a weapon. Cue Rey and Rin meeting with Rin being a jaded Mandalorian Jedi who thinks the light and dark should reconcile while Rey thinks the order should be pure light resulting in a lot of tension between them during training.

I’m a huge Mando fan, so I’d love to see more Mandalorian’s in the ST and I’m super excited for the series. This sounds like a great story, Nonnie. I’m always down for drama concerning dogma and interpretations of the Light and Dark. Cheers! Thanks for sharing!

I feel like the scar will stay just cause it's so different looking. If they wanted to give her a scar why not just give her a normal line, instead she's got the hand type things reaching. I'd hope so anyway cause everyone's analysis on that has been pretty cool.

Hey Nonnie, I agree. It’s pretty iconic and symbolic, I can’t imagine why you’d focus in on the moment of her receiving the scar, only to like ignore it later. Additionally, she’s got that strategically placed armband (that mirror’s Padme’s costume and oh, conveniently, her scarring as well). Most things in movies that are worthy of focus happen for a reason. She’s marked now, just as he is for her. I also enjoy the analysis, so here’s hoping it stays :)

I love that "Heirs to the Force" was the title that John thought of for this film. He said the plural form which means both Rey and Ben are the heirs rather than just her being the sole legacy bearer or whatever.

Hey Nonnie, I kind of liked how it could refer to anyone and everyone. One of the important aspects of the ST I enjoy is that it really makes sure to focus on the fact that the Force belongs to everyone and that anyone can be a hero. But it also definitely could be referring to multiple individuals who are going to carry that torch forward, instead of having to trudge through alone. Wonder if John has seen the actual end? Haha. Cheers!

Did you see the MSW leaks? “Rey and Kylo clash and as they battle the backgrounds change into places throughout Star Wars’ vast locations from the nine part Skywalker saga.” I’m so confused! How does this work for them? Do they themselves realize what is happening or are they so focused on each other that they don’t realize what is happening around them? It sounds really cool but I honestly cannot really imagine this. And it seems this will happen very early on in the film.

Another anon:

When MSW said Rey and Kylo fight through the force bond - the way it was worded on Reddit makes it sound like it may not be that they are fighting each other. I wonder if they fight as a team through the bond or train through it. But I didn’t listen to the podcast so idk if that’s more clear.

Another anon:

Apparently MSW said that the first scene in the teaser is NOT the first time Rey and Kylo meet. A poster from reddit said “I am listening to the podcast now, and he very clearly is just using that scene as a spring board to say that he has heard that they meet in Jordan early on (which honestly probably just means not at the end), and that later when they have a fight it's flashing/Force link related as they move between different locations.” I’m confused now with the fight/force bond scene.

Hey Nonnies, my policy for leaks is that they’re okay to have fun with, but it’s best not to take them too seriously lol. At this point, JJ hasn’t even finished editing the movie, so anyone who’s speculating on what happens is literally doing just that, speculating. 

I want the stuff in the "leaks" to happen but I also don't trust any of the leaks to be accurate and don't believe them. If that makes sense.

Hey Nonnie, makes perfect sense to me. It’s not so much fun if everything is spoiled before the story has a chance to take place and, given that JJ isn’t even finished editing the movie, I have a tendency to believe they’re more speculation than anything else.

Fanboys have such a massive disconnect between what the movies are about and what they want. They're not bringing old Palpy back just so Kylo and Rey can spend 90% of the movie trying to kill each other. That's not evolving a relationship, that's just boring repetition.

Some people bitched endlessly that TFA was “too like ANH” but now that RotS has the potential be just like other OT movies, they’re all for it? This is why it’s just a good idea to do what needs to be done for the story and fuck anything else. People are going to bitch regardless, so might as well give them a reason lol.

It’s GO HOME or GO BIG when it comes to Reylo in TROS. I am hoping that LF and JJ can fully deliver the dynamic in the last movie (preferably more scenes of them alone and working really well together and a kiss).

I’m sure they’ll go big with this :) It’s a space opera, after all, gotta have some drama and theatrics in there (and dramatic kissing is a must). Cheers!

My only "worry" about getting ambiguous or straight up romantic Reylo is how much weight these people place on the "it would be bad message for girls!!!" discourse going around. I don't think they care that much, they're trying to reach a global audience and kids, mostly?

I wouldn’t worry about that. They did a great job of showing Rey retaining her agency (aka the reason she didn’t join Kylo, but will help to save Ben). Their sexism is blatant because no one says the same about Luke (either with how he saves Vader or Ma//ra Jade). Those people are loud but ultimately have as much impact on the outcome of the story as I do lol (which is none). Cheers!

I decided to look up anagrams (i'm bored) for 'ben solo kylo ren' and one of the anagrams on the list was 'broke lonely son' and now I'm sad. :'(

BLOCKED lol jk. I’ve seen that before and it still makes me sad. Poor Ben :(

I'm laughing at the thought of Finn and Poe having some old couple bickering sesh over a chess game and Ben just skypes in like "psssst, Rey, you wanna do something cool with me?"

Haha. I’m really excited to see the whole dynamic here. I think Oscar and John have crazy rapport (though they’re all charming as fuck, so no surprise there). I’m also interested in seeing what the gang thinks about Rey’s connection with Kylo because DRAMA.

Do you think they're going to walk back on Finnrose? I know John Boyega likes to joke around when it comes to romance in the trilogy, but he's always been honest during press tours. The way he deflected the Finnrose question asked in the IX panel by saying everyone has good chemistry makes me think Disney is leaning into Stormpilot. They had the picture of Finn and Poe ready to go as John and Oscar made jokes. I don't think they'll make it canon but I could see them teasing it.

Not after John’s comments concerning his friendships with Chewie, P/e, and Rey, I don’t lol. But as far as I’m concerned Finnrose is canon (though I love storm//pilot). I think they’re just avoiding talking about plot points in this story. I think that they might go with P/e being in love with Fi/n, or at least leaving that open to interpretation., but we’ll have to see. 

[fictions-war-among-stars]

I finally finished the OG Star Wars trilogy for the first time!!!

Since the beginning of the year I'd kinda made it my goal to watch all of the Star Wars content in chronological order, because I haven't actually watched it before now! (Also my classes kept including it in the lessons, so it's for research too lol-)

Today though marks a very important date to me, because I just finished the OG trilogy for the very first time!

A very vague non-spoiler reaction, is that I enjoyed it! The first movie was kinda hard to get through, the second a bit better, but I realize that's because the formatting of the story is a bit different than what I'm used to?

To me, it seems like you have to watch all three movies for it to make sense. The first movie set the stage, the second had character development and raised the stakes, and the third closed everything off.

It's kinda hard to explain? Most movies don't do that - they each have the beginning middle and conclusion that very much seperate each film from one another, and connect to one another in a different way?

The closest thing I can think of would be Avengers Infinity War to End Game - you can't watch one without the other. They are meant to be the same story.

My more specific thoughts

I really should have taken notes, but here are my most memorable thoughts on it over all!

This is your last warning - there are spoilers up ahead!

Shakespeare who?

It's super funny to me how much the lines the actors would say would remind me of something out of an old English play

I think what was the most jarring in this sense was how Luke acted during the last of the OG movie. He was no longer a 'farm boy' but now a proper Jedi, and acted very stiff as a result. Yet he was still super dramatic???

Omg wait - have you seen the Romeo and Juliet version with Leonardo DiCaprio???

That has the same energy to me lmao-

One of the biggest things that irritated me whilst watching the prequels was how much the clothing reminded me of 1500 Europe. The clothing itself was really pretty, but the way they used it to sexualize Padme was something I had a LOT of salt with.

While there was a lot of different outfits for Leia, I was surprised that she wasn't as sexualized in her outfits? (With exception of when she was with Jabba - but is that really surprising???)

She was objectified more than I thought necessary, but the scenes with Padme and Anakin in the prequels seem way worst to me...

Whomst do I simp for???

A huge part of why I stick to content is because I simp for a character. The more attached I get to them, the more I want to watch things they're in, and the more I'll buy their merch

I mean, everyone does this lol

I'm actually super surprised though, because I don't simp for anyone in the OG trilogy?

When I was on the outskirts of the fandom, I tried to get into it by reading stuff with the characters and was surprised when I couldn't really find anything good with Luke?

Based on characters I like, Luke seemed like he would be one of them

But I don't find myself attracted to him at all during the films???

Ahsoka Tano is so far still the best and only character I simp lol

Luke / Leia - it's not what you think!

I was really surprised with this one! I thought Luke and Leia actually had a relationship prior to finding out they were related, and there was going to be a whole Oedipus Rex thing going on, but it was just heavy flirting?

It was still REALLY awkward by the last movie though - because they admitted to always kinda knowing in a really dramatic way, but there was quite a bit of sexual tension between them in the two movies before???

It just made me uncomfy :/

Leia / Han?

...please don't kill me, but I don't really ship it?

The iconic I Love you / I know was literally the only time I thought they were cute together?

Oh, along with when Leia took Han out of Carbonite. That was cute

Like He was waking up thinking he would never see her again, and she had spent months trying to track him down to save him-

That was really precious

Their dynamic though, is why I don't ship them

It reminds me of prequel Anakin/Padme, and seems kinda toxic?

Like at points she was clearly telling him no, and he kept teasing and coming onto her

Also they were bickering in a way that isn't good, and just not properly talking things through?

Consent and proper communication is sexy, and that was missing at times

...it still isn't as bad as the prequels though, and there is hope for their relationship to grow and get better

(Insert character here) I am (insert reveal)

There were so many dramatic reveals lol

It's not really a surprise to us now, but Vader and Luke are related, Leia and Luke are related, Vader was Anakin, Vader is Leia's dad-

On that note though!!!!

Vader kinda traumatized Leia in the first movie????

Also how did he know that Luke was his son, but not Leia???

That still makes no sense to me-

I'm probably missing something???

Like the only reason he was going after Luke was to convert him because he was his son-

But if push comes to shove Leia seems more likely to be a Sith than Luke??? She was way more impulsive and emotional at times than Luke???

I feel like trying to convert her would have been easier???

Idk, that was a missed opportunity there :/

OH ALSO!!!

The last movie in the OG just makes Padme's death seem even worst!!!

Like Leia goes on about having vague memories of her mother, but Padme dies in the prequels giving birth to her???

So Leia is either more force sensitive than Luke (my head cannon honestly) or Padme should have raised the twins in secret for a while before dying on like a rebel mission and prior to Vader working beside the Emperor. Then Obi Wan swooped in and relocated the twins

Honestly, both those should be canon to me

Leia being trained with the force is something I really regret not seeing :(

At least there's fanfic

Vader

Vader confused me at first?

He seemed really obedient to the general (i don't remember his name - I think he's the one in Bad Batch and Clone wars???) in the first movie, and followed his orders????

Wait wasn't his name general Tarkin???

It was weird to me because I had just come from SW: Rebels and Rogue One, and Vader seemed like this illusive right hand man to the Emperor

But then he goes and obeys this guy way lower in power to him?

In the second and third movie he gets more power though, so maybe he was supposed to be the empire's dog originally???

Actually, it was weird seeing Vader be as obedient as he was

Anakin was super rebellious, so seeing him as Vader was weird

He was also a lot calmer than I thought he would be. Sith rely on anger and emotions to fuel them don't they???

...I didn't like the interaction between him and Obi Wan very much also

Jedi training line

So Obi Wan was originally trained directly under Yoda himself???

And Qui Gon and Dooku never existed-

So the entirety of the conflict in the prequels would have been super different to what it is lol

The edits

Since I didn't watch the OG versions, I'm not really aware of all the edits that were made to the movie

There is one though, that is really what spurred me to write this

They really just replaced the head of ghost OG Anakin with prequel Anakin LMAO-

Like-

I'm actually pretty neutral to them doing it since I'm not attached to the OG version but like-

This is just so fucking funny to me-

It's kinda sad though, cause the OG Anakin actor was dead for like 10 years, and then he was replaced with his angsty double

....still funny lmao

I think they also added in a bunch of Jarjars onto the roof of a building in Naboo XD

End thoughts

Overall, I enjoyed the content much more than I thought I would, and would watch it again!

I wish Ahsoka had helped train Luke and Leia ;p She would have been a great teacher, and I think she would have helped Luke and Leia in a way that would have been better for them?

...I really just wasn't a huge fan of Obi Wan. He reminds me of that one meme about movie Dumbledore vs book Dumbledore in Goblet of fire :/

I'm really struggling to find the words for it...

ANYWAY-

I'm super excited to watch the Mandalorian and see Ahsoka again though!!!

[haleyfury]

April was another month filled with ups and downs. I’m super grateful for my health and safety right now, but I am definitely missing college life and like everyone, wondering when we’ll be able to get back to some state of ‘normalcy.’ This month, I technically finished my undergraduate work (online), had some fun Zoom sessions and reunions with friends, and again had so many books and TV shows as comfort.

The Thousandth Floor by Katharine McGee | 4/5 Stars

The Thousandth Floor was the first book of April that fit my ‘let me catch up on all the YA dystopian contemporary (trust me it’s a category)’ and shortly after reading, found myself buying books #2 and #3.

Undercover Bromance (Bromance Book Club #2) by Lyssa Kay Adams | 5/5

Undercover Bromance was such a great companion sequel to The Bromance Book Club. It also made me realize how much I need a book featuring the Russian.

Brunch and Other Obligations by Suzanne Nugent (ARC) | 4/5

It had been a while since I picked up a women’s fiction book, but I enjoyed Brunch and Other Obligations for its slightly comedic twist.

Behind Closed Doors by B.A. Paris | 3/5

My sister finally got me to read Behind Closed Doors in April. It definitely wasn’t the best book ever (sorry sis), but at the same time, I couldn’t seem to put it down. 

Not the Girl You Marry by Andie J. Christopher | 4/5

I took a little break from (adult) contemporary romances in April , but I’m glad I still read Not the Girl You Marry. Despite the mixed reviews for this one, I thought it was a cute & funny read.

Kindred Spirits by Rainbow Rowell (novella/reread) | 5/5

I finally started my rereads of 2020 in April, which began with Rainbow Rowell’s novella, Kindred Spirits. Now having seen 8/9 of the Star Wars films – so excited that Rise of Skywalker will be available on May 4th on Disney+! – and The Mandalorian, I was able to really admire and relates to its adorable Star Wars-ness.

Mr. Penumbra’s 24-Hour Bookstore by Robin Sloan | 4/5

Staying at home has caused me to take all the books I haven’t read off my shelves, which included Mr. Penumbra’s 24-Hour Bookstore. Not my favorite book in the world, but I see what the hype is about and did appreciate its bookishness.

More than Maybe by Erin Hahn (ARC) | 5/5

My favorite book of April, I cannot stop thinking about Erin Hahn’s upcoming, More than Maybe. Everything was PERFECT about this July 2020 release following two teens who have a love for music and secret crushes for each other.

You’d Be Mine by Erin Hahn (reread) | 4.5/5

More Than Maybe made me want to reread Erin Hahn’s You’d Be Mine. I usually procrastinate on my re-reads but I immediately started reading You’d Be Mine after finishing More Than Maybe. I actually enjoyed You’d Be Mine even more upon my reread. It’s definitely the darker of the two books, but I really appreciated the story, romance, and character development this second time around.

The Selection by Kiera Cass | 4/5

Yes, I finally read The Selection in 2020, and yes, I’M ADDICTED!

You’ll Miss Me When I’m Gone by Rachel Lynn Solomon | 3.5/5

I loved You’ll Miss Me When I’m Gone’s story and writing style, but I could not stand one of its two main protagonists.

The Elite (The Selection #2) by Kiera Cass | 4/5

Still addicted to this trilogy, but America annoyed me so much with her indecisiveness.

Younger S1 (TV Land) – Many people who love books and publishing seems to watch Younger. I blew through the first season in three sittings – it’s 100% the type of show that you can watch 5 episodes in a row without realizing. However, I didn’t think it really brought anything new to the table and it was really inaccurate about how books and publishing work at times.

Unorthodox (Netflix) – Definitely my most serious watch of the month, I really enjoyed Unorthodox, having loved its storytelling and cinematography. After watching, I added Deborah Feldman’s memoir of the same name to my TBR.

Below Deck S7 & Below Deck Sailing Yacht (Bravo) – This month proved that reality TV is a comfort of mine, as I consumed the entirety of Below Deck S7 and the first 9 episodes of Below Deck Sailing Yacht in under two weeks- I’m currently up-to-date with the latter and watch every week. Below Deck Mediterranean S5 was recently announced for this summer, so I’m debating on trying to watch the first four seasons before then. There are so many good shows coming to Netflix in May, so we’ll see how fast I fly through those first before giving into Bravo.

Baker and the Beauty S1 (Prime) – Because I have to be both a TV and book hipster, I decided to watch the original/Israeli Baker and the Beauty before diving into the American version on ABC. I really loved this show and thought it was so funny. I’m looking forward to watching the second season in May and starting the American adaptation.

Schitt’s Creek S6 Finale (PopTV) – I talked about the Schitt’s Creek finale in my April If We Were Having Coffee, but I’m still feeling both so content about the way the show ended and sad it’s over.

Continued Watching: Family Karma (LOVED IT!), Brooklyn Nine-Nine S7 (Meh about it)

Reviews

FOODIE ROM-COM: Tweet Cute Review & Inspired Recipe

FEMINIST TEAM SPIRIT: We Are the Wildcats Review

LIVE LOVE BROMANCE: Undercover Bromance Review

HONEY READ ME: The Honey-Don’t List Review

SWEETEST YA: What I Like About You Review & Inspired Cupcake Recipe

Bookish & Fangirl Fun: 

STRESS PURCHASES, ARCS, & LIBRARY HOLDS: April 2020 Book Haul

What I Watch on YouTube

Binge-Read Recommendations: What I’ve Read in 2020 So Far Edition

Bookish News Round Up #2: Release Date Changes, New Books, & More

Fangirl News Round Up #3: Upcoming Books, TV, & Event Updates

If We Were Having Coffee: Current Entertainment Faves & Other Life Things

The Prediction Book Tag

My Middle Grade Reads: Inspired by The Eye of Zeus

Officially done with undergraduate work – Graduating is a bittersweet experience to begin with, but even more so for my fellow seniors and me since we had to finish our degrees online. I’m still working for my on-campus job and have a few online celebrations over the next few weeks, but I submitted the draft of my media & communications capstone today! My school is holding a virtual commencement on our original graduation day, but they recently scheduled our (tentative) in-person commencement to August! I guess you can say that I’m graduated, but it won’t be official until the end of the May when my graduation application is confirmed and my diploma comes in the mail in the new few weeks.

Twenty Young Podcast – One of my best friends and I have been listening to a lot of podcasts lately, which made us think 1) where all the podcasts for women in the twenties and in between college and professional life? And 2) why don’t we give podcasting a try? We then decided to create the Twenty Young Podcast, available on Spotify! I’m going to have a blog post all about our podcast in May.

 What did you read and watch in April? Have you read or watched anything I mentioned? Share in the comments!

CONTEMPORARY READS & REALITY TV MOOD: April 2020 Wrap Up April was another month filled with ups and downs. I’m super grateful for my health and safety right now, but I am definitely missing college life and like everyone, wondering when we’ll be able to get back to some state of ‘normalcy.’ This month, I technically finished my undergraduate work (online), had some fun Zoom sessions and reunions with friends, and again had so many books and TV shows as comfort.

[thedrown]

Clone Wars premise

So if I do change my Star Wars comic from an Imperial premise to a Clone Wars one here’s the basic story changes I have made so far.

Sivkhalen (Sikha) San Ourag’s story would have minor changes including her time on Balmorra and relationship to Lo-Sar being gone with her childhood instead being on Mandalore explaining her usage of Mandalorian armour and simplifying what otherly would have been too much packed into her short life given her young age. She also would no longer be a freelance bounty hunter but would serve the Kolkpravis by commanding a flotilla in the Separatist fleet and being an officer in the CIS. Her design would also be more Kaleesh than Mandalorian as well.

Alto Sevelis on the other hand would get more exposure being the one who has the ties to Lo-Sar and the Krayt Corsairs through his mercenary work as a pilot instead of Sikha. He would meet Sikha at an earlier age and the two would have formed a closer bond over a longer period than the original and would have a greater emphasis on Mandalorian culture and clans setting up a greater exposition for future Mandalore stories and giving Alto a stronger presence. He would still be engaged to Sikha and would serve as a pilot in her flotilla when at war keeping him close and still a prominent member of the main trio.

Noma Yu would have the greatest change by far since obviously the Jedi Order is still around and much of her story was based around Order 66. Instead Noma would now be a padawan and would meet Sikha during a battle at Balmorra where Noma is running a solo command as her master is pressed at Saleucami. Noma and her Clone commander would face heavy opposition from Sikha’s fleet and droids along with a Balmorran militia resulting in a Republic loss and Noma and a handful of clones being stranded on the planet. They act as a guerrilla force until theyre captured at which point Sikha interrogates Noma and the clone commander and begins to discuss Republic corruption and war crimes to the horror of Noma greatly conflicting her. Eventually Noma would desert the Jedi and the Republic and as time passed on Balmorra with Sikha hearing stories of the Republic’s immorality she would ultimately join the the Dark Acolytes bringing her back into the trio of the original concept.

Fourth Brother/Sevty’Rem’Nuro being an inquisitor would also pose an issue and he would be changed to Jedi so that they can continue to serve as the force sensitive antagonists. Fourth Brother being stealthy and preferring intelligence gathering and assassination makes him naturally a Jedi Shadow and his role will go largely unchanged beyond going from Imperial Inquisitor to Jedi Shadow. Instead of hunting Noma he would now be introduced attempting to assassinate a Parliament member or other important Separatist during a gala or event on Raxus Secundus with Sikha and Noma working as security and uncovering his plot and proceeding to attempt to stop him. After escaping he reports Noma’s defection to the Separatists at which point the Order sends him on a new assignment to capture or kill Noma making him yet again the main antagonist of the first phase of the comic as the silent hunter. His outfit will remain the same albeit with a colour swap to go from Imperial grays and blacks to Jedi browns and khakis and his lightsaber will remain the same just with the circlet removed and his blade will probably be purple.

Tenth Brother/Xekhad Eekal would also being changed from an inquisitor to a Jedi Knight. He would be changed drastically being of younger age along with wearing Kaleesh clothes as opposed to Jedi robes or his former Inquisitor armour. His lightsabers would undergo significant redesign to take a more Kaleesh look and would likely be green in colour. His story would no longer be one of self righteous pride to become a god but rather he viewed his service in the order to be one of humble honour. He takes his Jedi duties seriously and does retain his Kaleesh culture where his new story draws from greatly. He joined the Jedi order to learn how to wield the force and protect his people yet his fellow Kaleesh view him with scorn due to the general hatred that Kaleesh have for both the Jedi and the Republic they serve. This hatred would cause confliction and sadness within Xekhad who frequents Kalee trying to help and serve his people only to be shunned and he feels guilt in fighting in the Clone Wars. His role as Jedi general split by his honour as Kaleesh warrior is what gives him much to ponder and often clouds his mind as he leads clones that his people see as slaves in battle against the very government his people support. This change would give Xekhad a much more in depth story and characterization even sympathetic while maintaining him as a prominent antagonist to Sikha in particular given their opposing sides in the war despite being the same species.

Narea Etzo and Andona Ryft would change minimally with Narea’s updated design having already been drawn giving her some minor physical changes but little else. Her story involving the 182nd Legion will remain the same albeit Narea will be older given in the original comic the events on Felucia happened in her past when she was a teen. Now it would have been a relative recent incident so her age will be that of a young woman for plot reasons. Her joining of the Republic military and eventual reassignment to Intelligence will remain the same though obviously her role is no longer in routing out rebels but rather in counter intelligence against the CIS. Ryft’s story will likewise be the same only difference being his career shaping guerrilla war will be against the actual Confederacy rather than their holdouts as in the original imperial plot. He will still command the same fleet as an admiral but now will have Narea and Xekhad as officers under his command more directly as opposed to the more irregular hierarchy of the Inquisitorius as before.

Additional minor characters like Lo-Sar and his crew or various bounty hunters, ect will have few changes as their stories are typically unrelated to the world as a whole so the most changes will be edits to fit the Clone Wars setting. Again I ask for your opinion on if I should change Ghost’s of the Separatists from its current Imperial setting to a Clone Wars but this is a brief overview of character changes so you can compare to their current incarnations I’ve previously posted, any opinion or thought is appreciated.

[knightotoc]

I told myself I wouldn't watch that Gallery show about The Mandalorian, but I was curious when I heard Dave Filoni analyzes TPM (and I have little self control when it comes to SW, so). It certainly scratches the itch for going to a kinda boring panel at a con, which is VALID.

Some parts of it made me a little sad, though. Jon Favreau was not a fair host -- his questions were strange and narrow, and at least once he interrupted his guest before they could answer. The most egregious example was after Deborah Chow valiantly steered the conversation away from "Empire Strikes Back" to her own work in the actual show -- specifically, the emotional puppetry of IG-11 learning how to walk -- and Jon Favreau repeated her statements in a vague, long-winded way. The mansplaining was almost beautiful in its purity. I don't understand why it wasn't edited out.

I also appreciated Kathleen Kennedy dropping names and coming up with interesting answers to boring questions like the queen she is.

Dave Filoni's bit about TPM was actually about the theme of fathers and sons across the first six movies. It was great! It was so great that the group devolved from a conversation to the rest of them sitting in rapt attention. (No interruptions for Dave...)

Anakin is my favorite character, for many of the reasons Dave pointed out. Still, I felt disheartened by the sexism in the room's environment, in their attitude toward Dave, and in the theme itself. After all, Dave has a history of killing off female characters, including in his Tatooine episode of The Mandalorian. I love his work, but he's not perfect, and his understanding of SW should not be held up as the ideal. He is thoughtful and smart, but, in combination with the documentary's sidelining of the outnumbered woman creators, his analysis came across as incomplete.

He pointed out that in RotJ, Anakin chooses to become the father he has never had. I understand what he meant, but to say Anakin never had a loving parent erases a pretty important female character. This has been a stealth Mother's Day post, I love Shmi.