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northopalshore · 1 month

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Zendaya birth chart analysis

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Additional asteroids mentioned: Fama (408), Adorea (268), Charisma (627), Aura (1488), Fan (151590), Juno (3), Great Attractor, Part of Fortune

In this post, I will be writing down and explaining some aspects & placements in her natal birth chart to better understand her character as well as fame indicators in her chart.

Aquarius (7° libra) 1st house

Aquarius risings tend to have longer body proportions. Slender, and unique something you notice about her immediately is her height, her hair colour, accessories & her forehead. Their heads may seem a bit larger in proportion to their body i.e bigger forehead, wider face. Their personality will stand out in the crowd as they are not afraid to be themselves in any given situation.

ex: I had an aquarius rising friend back in high school she would be giggling uncontrollably even during assembly to herself for some joke she had in her mind. Zendaya has always stood out in terms of personality. Back when she used to make videos on Vine everybody loved her lip syncing to Beyoncé's "YONCE" but she was just excited to hear her favourite song playing randomly on the radio & decided to post the video. It was just her, being her.

With the libra degree though, it brings a lot of balance into her appearance. Not to mention she's extremely beautiful! Not everyone will agree with her ideas and that's alright to her. She's not the type to judge others for their opinion.

Saturn (5° leo) retrograde in 2nd house

This is can be seen in the chart of someone who didn't grow up with a lot of money. Both of her parents are teachers (work with children as leo rules the 5th house 5° 5 see? ). She'll have to work very hard to earn money. With saturn in retrograde and with the leo degree she always had the ability to gain a lot of money through her talents in the acting/ performing field. She has worked in the entertainment industry for YEARS before gaining mainstream recognition. And from a very young age (since then gaining a massive amount of money through acting) She found financial stability through her talents. Since her second house is in pisces, I think she probably has dreamt of affording all the best things in life and has never stopped working towards it. Her career also started off catering to children aka the younger audiences acting in family friends/kid shows.

Moon (7° libra) in her 3rd house

She has a very close harmonious relationships with her siblings. She could feel like she can never live without them as they are a source of comfort. She'll tend to rationalize her emotions, always trying to tinker with logic and how she feels. She'll find herself looking at her feelings from an outside perspective often. She was also close to her mother during early school years ( her went to the elementary school her mother taught at: Fruitvale Elementary School in Oakland) Most of her siblings will be much younger than her.

Taurus 4th house

She grew up in a very harmonious household. Very safe, loved and cared for by her parents. She didn't move homes/ left her birth place meaning her childhood was spent where she was born. There were no arguments or fighting that took place in her home aside from maybe "Who ate my snack?? I was saving that for later!"

Venus (24° pisces) in the 6th house

She could feel like her childhood was very work centric. However, given that this is Venus I believe she really enjoyed working in a sense. She was passionate about it. It may have caused a lot of fatigue, trauma & anxiety even as a child, but she this was what she truly passionate about regardless. A perfectionist placement in terms of beauty, art, talents.

Mars (25° aries) in Cancer 6th house

Similar to venus. She focuses a lot of her energy into working towards her dream. She worked with a lot of female figures, with friends & family ( also a lot of her early gigs involved family sitcoms ) she usually feels very safe at work. She knows she is always working with people that she can trust. She is also a perfectionist. She feels that everything she does must be perfect. Combined with her venus she'll take her acting very seriously, she will not feel satisfied until her performance meets her ideals.

Aura (23° aquarius) in Gemini 5th house

People are very drawn to her unique, genuine energy. She's seen as this fun loving, talkative, passionate, sometimes very stubborn person that everyone wants to be around. She exudes this rebellious magnetism. People feel like she's always doing something different in comparison to other actors for example. They'll see her as more of a friend than a celebrity. People feel like they will never be bored with her, she's always doing something exciting!

edit: there was a previous typo 23° aries instead of aquarius. It's fine now.

Fan (21° Sagittarius) in Leo 7th house

Her fans love her for her talents, she attracts fans from all over the world and people of different cultures & ethnicities. Her fans will also be very invested in her love life i.e love to see her in relationships. They genuinely want her to be happy in her love life. Her spouse/partner could also ber her biggest fan!

Fama conjunct Saturn

It took her time to gain a following, but when she does gain fame it will stay. You will see her name written down as one of the most prominent stars in Hollywood.

Fama retrograde in 2nd house

Same as conjunct saturn honestly.

Fama trine pluto

Explosive fame. It took her a while to get into mainstream media but when she did she changed the game. Her career has shifted into a more mature state as she's now taking more adult roles in her career.

Part of fortune (4° cancer) in Libra 8th house

She'll have a lot of luck in rebirth & transformation. She might be very lucky in high stakes situations. She's likely to live a long and healthy life. She'll perform better in adult or taboo roles, gaining more abundance through those roles. She'll be able to take on more emotional roles with complex character relationships. (i.e her roles in Euphoria & Challengers gained a massive amount of attention)

Mercury (3° Gemini) in Libra 8th house

She could love to talk about taboo subjects. She's not afraid to point out the things that hurt her, or things that bother her close relationships. She will be the person to talk to them through hard times. She's a loyal friend and whatever secret you tell her she's taking them to the grave.

Pluto (0° the purest form) in the Sagittarius 10th house

She will be very attractive. Whatever she does the spotlight will be on her. The public will either love her to death or hate her with every bone in their body. She will garner the attention of people worldwide. People in her field can be very jealous of her magnetism. She'll easily gain power and recognition throughout her career. A revolutionary, a trendsetter, what more can I say?

Adorea(11° aquarius) in Sagittarius 10th house

The public will adore her for her ability to stay authentic and genuine. She is also loved through the internet, the media. People will adore her in videos or anytime she's on screen.

Great Attractor(13° aries) in 10th house

She is a force to be reckoned with in her career. The great attractor being in the 10th house is one of the most powerful, magnetic and influential placements a person could have. She will be loved by the public, she will always attract attention throughout her career. People loving, adoring, praising & wanting to follow you. Ex-USA president Barack Obama has this placement too!

Chiron (14° taurus) in 8th house

People will look to her for comfort. She has the ability to heal other people with her presence. She may have had some uncomfortable experience with physical touch, or is generally uncomfortable with people she isn't close with touching her. I don't want to get too deep into this placement but she definitely has some trauma surrounding the 8th house.

Chiron trine ascendant

She might have had some insecurities concerning her looks in the past, people might have bullied her for the way she presented herself or just her appearance in general. However this placement also allows her to overcome those easily. This also gives her the ability to express complex, gut-wrenching emotions of her face. Great for acting. She's able to showcase the characters soul.

Pluto conjunct MC (26° taurus)

This usually means her image will be very public. You'll see her face & her body everywhere. Her career involves a lot of photos being taken for magazine covers, interviews and whatnot.

Jupiter (7° libra) retrograde in Capricorn 11th house

This means she will get a lot of luck with friends, and social media. She will be very popular online. Since it is in retrograde however, there was a delay in achieving that big blow up on the internet ( compared to when she started her career).

Neptune (25°aries) retrograde in Capricorn 12th house

This placement can be seen in individuals with prominent or severe mental health issues/ trauma. She can feel very depressed at times, feeling alone, feeling detached from people around her, feeling shunned. The aries degree indicates that this has started to develop from a young age. She was very shy when she was younger. Her parents even had to attend a class on raising introverted children. I've read multiple articles addressing her openness on talking about her trauma. "She felt that stress that came with being a child actor, feeling anxious and always delivering out of fear that people will lose interest. "

Uranus (1° aries) retrograde in Aquarius 12th house

This is very similar to neptune, in a sense that this stems during early childhood. She felt very alienated from the rest of her peers. She could be insecure about her personality, or her uniqueness. She doesn't feel like she truly belongs.

Sun trine Jupiter

She has a very big personality. People will notice her wherever she goes. Popular & beautiful. Taller/bigger than the average height/ people notice her height.

Saturn trine uranus

Her internet presence will be very long lasting.

Venus opposite uranus

She's the type of person who'll want to express her fashion through unconventional means. Lady gaga has venus trine uranus I keep thinking about her iconic meat dress lol. Since it is opposite in Zendaya's chart, it's more like a double negative in a way. You have Uranus but also you're going against Uranus. Which means she'll love to dress up in a unique uniform type of way.

ex: in every opening/event she goes to she will always match her outfit with her character/the theme of the movie. Extra in a tame way so to speak whereas Mother Monster, well.. is anything but tame.

Charisma sextile MC

She is seen as someone very charismatic throughout her career.

Zendaya's birth chart:

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***disclaimer: entertainment purposes only, reader discretion is advised***

Thank you for reading ♡

@northopalshore

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zeldareyesblog · 3 years

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Bayonetta 2: The Controversial Witch Trials

**This was a responsive essay that I had written back in February 24, 2020 and revised on March 1st, 2020 for “Introduction to Composition” college class. Yes, I got an A+ on this.**

Bayonetta 2: The Controversial Witch Trials

In Giuseppe Nelva’s article, “Bayonetta 2’s “Over-Sexualization” Complaint: A Perfect Example of What’s Wrong with Modern Reviews”, I found the reviews of the game to be unfair because Bayonetta 2 was judged based on the amount of provocative imagery it contained rather than Platinum Games’ improvement from the first Bayonetta’s gameplay, mechanics, and creative execution. Nelva’s concerns were the same as mine because we believed that no videogame should be judged by the amount of controversial content it has. Instead, video games should be judged if the video game’s creators have exceeded beyond expectations to entertain the players.

Video game reviewers are needed to help companies like Platinum Games improve their work ethic, so that the next video game they make from that specific series would not feature the same issues again. However, we have big video game reviewers like Polygon, who has judged this video game based on its “blatant over-sexualization” rather than Bayonetta 2 game’s execution as quoted from article, “I won’t guess why the blatant over-sexualization is still there, often more intensely than before. But it causes an otherwise great game to require a much bigger mental compromise to enjoy.” Even though a 7.5 out 10 would not be considered an awful rating for Bayonetta 2, it deserved more than that and it also deserved a more objective review rather than a subjective review despite the obvious adult content mentioned by Polygon’s throughout most of the review. While Bayonetta 2 did include sexual themes and references throughout the franchise and characters as much as strong language and violence is concerned, should it be used to solely judge the merits of a videogame? What if the creators of Bayonetta 2 intentionally put the controversial content there to show how our virtuous boundaries could be broken under harsh circumstances, but can still become a strong, wise, and beautiful person against all odds?

To be honest though, I did understand that when my mother and I bought this video game from GameStop just last year during the holiday semester break as my New Year’s Eve present when I was 19 years old, she and I were both already aware of the content. Such as female characters being portrayed in a sexualized manner with extremely exaggerated proportions displayed in tight-fitting suits while in combat. There were also female characters being stripped of those suits for a brief amount of time to summon “infernal demons” as an aid in combat for huger enemies until their wicked weaves covered their private parts, and the innuendos spoken while the female characters interact with male characters in advance. However, the reason my mother approved of me playing that game, regardless of the adult content, was because she took her time to educate me about such content prior to succeeding my first semester in college. Because of our mother-daughter conversations, it was still pointless to judge the game based on its own provocative content and more on how it has executed itself as an entertainment medium as a result. Unlike most parents that I met who let my friends play M-rated video games before they completed their secondary education and reached the appropriate age, my mother never let me play any M-rated game until I completed my secondary education and when I reached the appropriate age of 17 years old or older according to the Entertainment Ratings Software Board (ESRB) guidelines because she believed that proper education and parental guidance would develop a real sense of maturity and high tolerance on all adult content that I would be exposed to in the future and she was right about that.

Furthermore, when I compared my now adult self to the friends that played a variety of M-rated videogames while they were underaged and still in middle school a very long time ago, I remembered that they were complete hyperactive chatterboxes to the point of aggravation, became more aggressive in their gaming habits and personalities, and even learned new curse words that I have never even heard before. When it came to sexually suggestive content in mature-rated video games, my old middle school friends did not seem to process that kind of content in a composed and civilized manner which resulted in them having some misogynistic and judgmental views of women, especially fictional video game women like Bayonetta who had self-confidence on and off the battlefield and remained fearless in her sexuality and beauty. Although, I did not blame M-rated video games alone because I knew that it was obviously the parents who enabled their underaged children to play those mature-rated video games since they were impatient and did not take the time to teach their kids about what kind of content they could be getting themselves into if they bought the game no matter how entertaining it was, and why they should not expose themselves to it until they are at the appropriate age anyways.

Moving on, Nelva has mentioned in his article that “What should be reflected, first and foremost, in a review’s content and in its score is the game’s quality, and while several aspects of “quality” are subjective, there are also many that aren’t. Production values are an example: graphics, animation, audio, textures, effects; Those are objective aspects of a game’s value that should not be overlooked.” As somebody that has owned and played this video game series, in my perspective I think that Bayonetta 2 has exceeded expectations from the Bayonetta 1 when it came to smooth gameplay mechanics – being able to reduce the amount of constant button pressing to fully complete charging attacks. Not only that, but Platinum Games has provided extra abilities for players such as giving Bayonetta the ability to glide on higher platforms with her Madama Butterfly Wings after jumping upwards and a variety of random “hack and slash” combo attacks on all bosses and mini bosses that will leave the players in suspense on what Bayonetta would do next, and included online gameplay levels and offline quests that challenge the players’ skills after completion of the story mode. The graphics and textures of Bayonetta 2 were beautifully executed to even reach cinematic levels of gaming throughout cutscenes and gameplay with the camera angles strategically displayed on the entire environment, and used closeups appropriately on the characters to present details on their unusual cosmetic makeup, clothing designs, and accessories as the characters communicated with each other. As for audio, the music soundtrack provided a mysterious, foreboding, yet epic emotions that could keep all players on edge and interested in the story mode. Furthermore, the dialogue between the characters was uniquely portrayed and ranged from what strong, young women and men would realistically say or react if they had encountered any enemies based on their three-dimensional personalities. If videogame players were tight on budget to own a headset, they could still experience the same amount of interactive and immersive fantasy-adventure gaming that Bayonetta 2 has provided as an entertainment product that would keep the players entertained for many years to come.

That objective review I made would convince so many young adult audiences to play Bayonetta 2. Eventually, it would have gained plenty of new fans to move this game up the ranks from being stuck in the “under rated” games category to gain widespread popularity. Never had I put in my own opinion on Bayonetta 2’s provocative content, because I know that judging a game based on what kind of adult material it had was not my job as a reviewer and I already assumed that my audience knows better what kind of material they would get themselves into before buying the game to begin with.

What amazed me now was how the world wanted to showcase diversity and promote less censorship in the entertainment industry. Although, once we get what we asked for there are a lot of negative people out there on the internet that make so-called entertainment reviews to talk about how the characters in a television show, movie, or videogame do not fit their own beliefs. According to Nelva, “It saddens me that between the many calls for diversity we’ve seen lately, some actually fly in the face of diversity itself by implying that games that celebrate sexuality and beauty like Bayonetta 2 should not exist or are not worth playing and enjoying.” This quote was a reminder to me that I should not judge any video game based on the number of suggestive themes it contains, but if it exceeded my expectations on quality video game entertainment.

Overall, I believed that Bayonetta 2 was a compelling video game that unfortunately received a bad reputation since huge video game reviewers like Polygon judged this video game based on the amount of provocative content it contained rather than the actual gameplay and creative execution itself. The creators behind Bayonetta 2 were considered artists because they told a narrative story and designed characters beyond our own imagination and made money from our fascination in this fantasy, action, and adventure game. Besides that, the purpose of video games was to provide another form of quality entertainment that all young adult audiences could enjoy at their own leisure time and Bayonetta 2 would have been one of those videogames if we had better reviewers that judged it based on gameplay and performance, instead of content.

Works Cited

Nelva, Giuseppe. “Bayonetta 2's ‘Over-Sexualization’ Complaint: A Perfect Example of What's Wrong with Modern Reviews.” DualShockers, DualShockers, 17 Oct. 2014, www.dualshockers.com/bayonetta-2s-over-sexualization-complaint-a-perfect-example-of-whats-wrong-with-modern-reviews/.

#bayonetta #bayonetta2 #nintendo #sega #platinum games #video games #videogame #college #composition #essay #college essay

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eloisevisualculture · 3 years

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the hypersexualisation of young girls in the media

The abuse and use of children for an adult’s personal gain is an issue that has always existed, regardless of the existence of the internet and the media. But the propagation of this platform (social media, entertainment or fashion magazines) has lead to a whole new sets of problems like the hyper-sexualisation of children, particularly young girls. The dictionary Larousse defines “hyper-sexualisation as “in society, the fact of giving an increasingly important place to sexuality, by multiplying references to it in the public space (media, advertising)”. In some cases this has been so normalised that criticism of these portrayals can be described as purist and excessive. What is the consequence of hyper-sexualisation of children in social media? The purpose of this essay will be to discuss the way the different ways children are sexualised in media and advertising and the effects it can have on their lives. It is not uncommon to hear the phrase “they grow up to fast nowadays” when referring to the youngest generations, as a result of their exposure to the media. Of course if the only thing young girls had to fear from acting like ‘grownups” was wearing makeup earlier in life, then there would be less cause for concern. Unfortunately, the dangers always revolves back to struggle of the ill- intentioned praying on the weak and easily influenced, and the continued danger of a patriarchal mentality passed down through generations. In the highly publicised fashion industry for instance, that holds a great influence on our society, there have been many instances of very young girls chosen as models, and put into adult life contexts. A notorious example is the 2011 edition of Vogue Paris, who published photographs of Thylane Lourby-blondeau, a 10 year old model who was pictures, in revealing clothes, makeup and jewellery, lying on a bed and looking at the camera with a sultry air.

It sparked a controversy and brought up the issue of the hyper-sexualisation children. Many people and parents stated that it was inappropriate and dangerous to picture a young child in an undeniably sensual light, and that directing a shoot to appeal to post-pubescent men, while the child was too young to understand the implications. Thylane Loubry-Blondeau, on the cover of Vogue Paris, 2011, January edition Others defended it simply as ‘art’, the portrayal of a girl playing dress up, which ultimately does little to justify morals. Art was also the excuse Irina UNESCO gave after photographing and publishing albums of her daughter in sexual, pornographic scene, also nude, from the age of 4 to 11. In an interview with the purple magazine, Ionesco reflects on how her mother used her for years for her own personal gain and career, her works being widely known because they were so scandalous; “She would put make-up on me when I was a child. I slept very little, didn’t go to school. She took erotic photographs of me and made me act in erotic films, of which I was the subject. It wasn’t just about the photos — her entire approach was abusive. Sometimes she would send me to other photographers. She’d say: “You’re going to see such and such a photographer. It’s not great, but you’re going anyway.” It was becoming very dangerous.”(Ionesco). One of the disturbing things about the work Irina published about her daughter is that it is still available to purchase today, and even praised for it’s artistic value.

Eva Ionesco in her adult years has described in detail the “loss of childhood” and the life long effects she had to deal with from being sexualised and abused from such a young age “You were thrown into a world of adults, of nightlife, sex, and art very young — from the age of 12 or 13. And in one of the most liberal periods we’ve seen so far in terms of morals.” She went on to write a film inspired by her childhood and relationship with her mother. As with everything, it is important to avoid blind censure, and condemn anything without a deeper understanding. It is very easy to doggedly pursue a cause and become set in our opinions, and not allow freedom of expression to well meaning individuals, if their children are understanding and willing participants. The artist Sally Man was criticised for publishing nude pictures of her children. They were done as a celebration and a chronicle of her children’s evolution, childhood and slow progression to adulthood, and were done with the children’s understanding and consent, as was made clear in an article in the New York Times “The collaboration of the children in their mother’s work is apparent to anyone who spends time in their company. They are impish, argumentative participants, not robots. (When a photographer asked them what kind of portrait of their mother should accompany this article, they shouted, “Shoot her naked, shoot her naked.” She did.)”(2015).

Sally Mann put the safety and wellbeing of her children above personal gain, choosing to publish her photo album ‘Immediate Family”, when the children would fully be aware of their choice. “I thought the book could wait 10 years, when the kids won’t be living in the same bodies. They’ll have matured and they’ll understand the implications of the pictures. I unilaterally decided.” (2015). One of the effects of the explosion of social media, and their ease of access, is that young children know have the ability to not only watch content that might not be suitable for age but to create content themselves. On Tiktok for instance, there is a lot of content based on visual, and sensual appeal, like women doing suggestive dances in revealing clothing. Women who are old enough have the experience and sense to be fully aware, and take distance themselves from the comments, they are doing it for their own enjoyment. Young girls watch these videos and see the adulation and attention these influencers get, and want to try it out for themselves. Dr Elaine Kasket explains this system on TikTok is artificially amplifying a natural phenomenon. Unfortunately, the same ease of access that allowed the children to post these videos also means that the people who want to abuse them can see them too. Not only do they write inappropriate sexual comment in the comments, or encourage more extreme behaviour for their own benefit, they also get in touch with the minors, and message them privately. Dr Kasket explanation is well illustrated by the 2020 film Cuties shows the traumas and effects of young girls lives governed by social media. This film portrays the journey of a young eleven year old Amy, as she joins a self organised preeteen dance group and is confronted with a whole new world of social media, pressures to be sexual and grown up.

"Teenagers are naturally interested in taking risks and they’re naturally interested in finding out about sex and The sexualisation of young girls is an issue which can be confused, but is also linked to their natural desire to imitate their mother, or older siblings. Every single child has tried at some point to act like their parents. But with the rise and ease of access of social media (instagram, TikTok), children have access to whole new world, and many try to imitate what they see on these platforms. discovering themselves as sexual beings and exploring that. "They are open to flattery, they are open to seduction, they are open to the verification they get from the hearts they get and the likes they get”. (2020, The Sun)Unfortunately, the same ease of access that allowed the children to post these videos also means that the people who want to abuse them can see them too. Not only do they write inappropriate sexual comment in the comments, or encourage more extreme behaviour for their own benefit, they also get in touch with the minors, and message them privately. Dr Kasket explanation is well illustrated by the 2020 film Cuties shows the traumas and effects of young girls lives governed by social media. This film portrays the journey of a young eleven year old Amy, as she joins a self organised preeteen dance group and is confronted with a whole new world of social media, pressures to be sexual and grown up. Through their imitation of sexualised adult women on the media, young girls inherit patriarchal and misogynistic ideals that superficial beauty determines their worth.The child beauty pageants are intensely popular in America, and raise a lot of money for charity. They parade toddler and young children in false nails, high heels, heavy makeup and heavy wigs, and are trained like performing animals to smile, pose and wave at the camera.

Naturally, many people argue that the simple fact of wearing makeup does not affect the girls in the slightest, and while that is true on the surface levels, there is much more than meets the eye. By dressing them up in all these gowns, and covering them in makeup and accessories to make them look “prettier”, the young girls are being taught that their natural appearance is not enough, and moreover that they need all these additional to get praise and win in life.

These little girls might enjoy looking “ like a princess”, but they are also adopting restrictive and superficial beauty ideals, and learning the all importance of appearance. Naturally, it is important to avoid completely vilifying pageants, they are not always the traumatic experience described by anti pageants or even shown behind the scenes pageants show. In her article for The Cut Goode collects the testimonies of other pageant stars and they are a mixed bag. Some describe that they have fond memories of competing, as ' bonding experience with their mother. An other used the platform to raise awareness about suicide, after her mother took her own life when she was 10 years old.But most often pageant are for the parents gain, and while women and mothers are often the ones organising them, they are, unknowingly or not transmitting the pressures of performative femininity to their daughters. Perpetuating a patriarchal and misogynist mindset in which Women must prioritise their appearance above all else, as the only thing giving them value.

And this cult of appearance and the emphasis on changing your appearance too fit the standards is the reason why eating disorders are so common in young girls and women. It could be argued that this is not the same as sexualisation of young girls, but beauty ideals and sexualisation are often intrinsically linked, especially if children are trying to abide to rules set by adults. While this essay has been essentially focussed on young girls, because they are the most targeted and at risk, the sexualisation and perpetuation of beauty ideals gives a toxic example to a future generation of men. Young boys are taught from a young age that pretty girls must look a certain way.

Conclusion:The sexualisation of children is a topic that is heavily discussed, by those against it and those who deny it’s existence or effects. The fact remains that sexualisation along ever occurs for an adult’s personal gain, or benefit.Little girls want to be pretty and attractive, but it is rarely for themselves.Admiring and wanting to be an adult is the most natural thing in the world, it is just tragic that they incorporate toxic ideals of femininity and beauty at the same time.

Bibliography

COTTAIS, C. LOUVET, M. (2021). The dangers of the hypersexualisation of young girls: a stolen childhood. growthinktank.org. [online] Jan. 2021. at https://www.growthinktank.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/The-dangers-of-the-hypersexualisation-of-young-girls_-a-stolen-childhood.pdf(Accessed 8 apr 2021)

Woodward, R. B. (2015) ‘The disturbing photography of Sally Mann’. The New York Times. At:https://www.nytimes.com/2015/04/19/magazine/the-disturbing-photography-of-sally-mann.html(Accessed 5 apr 2021)

Cuties (2020) Directed by M. Doucouré. Available at: Netflix (accessed 20 April 2018)

Ionesco, E.(unknown date) ‘Eva ionesco’. Interview with Eva Ionesco. Interviewed by O. Sham for The Purple Magazine, Paris issue num 32At: https://purple.fr/magazine/paris-issue-31/eva-ionesco/ (Accessed 9 Apr 2021)

Good, L. (2012) ‘I was a child pageant star: Six Adult Women Look Back’. The Cut. (November). At: https://www.thecut.com/2012/11/child-pageant-star.html (accessed 18 April 2021)

Hall. D. ‘How ‘supercharged catnip” Tiktok is fuelling the sexualisation of young girls an exploitation of teens.’ The Sun online. At: https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/10941512/tiktok-catnip-sexualisation-teens/ (Accessed 18 April 2021).

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straykidsupdate · 4 years

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How Stray Kids ‘Naturally’ Created Their Debut Full-Length & Achieved New Career Highs

All musicians wrestle with the balance between authentic artistic expression and clear commercial viability—with that heat all the more intesified for a boy band like Stray Kids navigating the fast-paced, real time results-focused K-pop industry. The eight-member outfit is known for their message-driven, self-produced work that stand out from their peers not just for taking such strong ownership in their output but for the experimentation that’s led to everything from increasingly irregular song structures to a small dictionary’s worth of newly coined vocabulary. It all makes their newly released Go Live full-length album even more remarkable as how it was not just their most organic output to date, but also led to a slew of new career highs too.

After two-and-a-half years and nearly a dozen EP releases since hitting the K-pop scene, Go Live has already become Stray Kids’ biggest-selling record to date in their native South Korea a month out. Songs like the bombastic, self-assured lead single “God’s Menu,” as well as the equally aplomb follow-up single “Easy,” shot up the download and streaming charts in a way past SKZ tracks have not, all indicating that the general attention and interest in the band was expanding as their core fanbase continued to be all the more impassioned.

While the powers above could have required a Stray Kids musical overhaul after the rollout of 2019’s Clé: Levanter saw a member depart the group, music videos need to be re-edited and songs re-recorded, Go Live instead doubles down on what makes up Stray Kids and reclaims their story in no uncertain terms.

I speak with Stray Kids members Bang Chan, Changbin, Han, Seungmin and Felix while they’re in the midst of promoting the album, energized from the positive response but also aware that their unique inner-workings and structures undoubtedly helped . They hold close to the importance of practice, communication, the community they’ve created for themselves and for fans—as well as their love of television and food—to create something that undoubtedly speaks for them. Some topics are still off-limits for the band, but what’s clear is that they’ve reclaimed their narrative and proven there’s undoubted commerciality in allowing for their organic creation.

Stray Kids say this album came out naturally, but what these humble creators likely don’t realize is the power in being able to not have your most natural expressions become something connects with so many people. That’s good business no matter the industry.

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Jeff Benjamin: Congratulations on the response to Go Live. It’s your best-selling album, you’re rising up the charts, how are the promotions?

Bang Chan: We’re actually really, really excited, and we’re still really excited. Performing our new songs and showing people our music is really big honor. We’re just really, really happy. The fact that people are giving attention, particularly to our songs, we just want to say thank you to everyone. And thank you to you too, Jeff. [Laughs]

Jeff Benjamin: Oh, of course! I’m really happy for you guys, particularly because I’ve been reading you feel this album is the best representation of Stray Kids to date. Why exactly is that?

Han: With this album, everything went out naturally. From the preparations to everything we made, we just went all in—especially with our song “God’s Menu.” The inspiration came from different dramas we watched in our everyday lives. Every song on this album just came out the way it came out, really naturally.

Bang Chan: And for me, I’ve always liked experimenting with my lyrics with cooking metaphors.

Jeff Benjamin: Right. I mean, you, Changbin and Han are 3racha.

Bang Chan: Yes but with this album, a lot of things came out really naturally and on the spot. I think that made this album a little more special. Before, with the I Am series or the Clé series, we would think about what we wanted to deliver as a message and then make the music. But with this album, it just came out—I’m not sure how—but it just came out from within our soul.

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What are everyone’s favorite songs?

Felix: “God’s Menu” is mine because it’s not only a song with a concept of cooking, but the way we’re cooking is all genuine. We’re trying to make it sweet, sour, all kinds of tastes we want to show through our genuine color. That’s just something we’ve been doing from the start and so this concept really does match to our goal in life.

Seungmin: My favorite is the b-side is “Blueprint,” I know Lee Know and I.N have the same opinion as me too.

Han: I really like “Phobia” because it’s a song that was a neat challenge for us, it’s kind of emotional while also showing the color of Stray Kids.

Bang Chan: It’s really tough to pick a favorite because I think everything is really really good. But I’ll add one of Hyunjin’s is “TA” as well.

Changbin: “God’s Menu,” I really feel that it’s one of our best. When it finally got released, I got a surge of energy and confidence.

Jeff Benjamin: I feel your confidence “God’s Menu!” Even on “Pacemaker” I see references to past works; lyrics about going at your own pace remind me of “My Pace.” Are there purposely connections to past Stray Kids music?

Felix: From the start, we wanted to produce music genuinely. Even to this day, we’ve kept our pace steady to get to where we are now—we just want to keep what’s genuine to us.

Seungmin: We always try to be more confident through practice. To be honest, there were times that we weren’t confidence but through various attempts we found our own color and gained more confidence.

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Stray Kids’ R&B side came out on “Another Day,” which was written by Han. The pressures of time is once again referenced like in the past tracks, but is time still scary to you?

Han: When I wrote “Another Day,” it talks about how we and the time we had when we’re preparing music and how we’re always feeling pressed by it. But when it came to this album, we felt really really confident with our goals and what Stray Kids had to show. While we were writing, we really had a lot of confidence.

“Haven” was written by Bang Chan and brings this message of breaking molds to really clear terms. As a leader, how do you inspire your team to take the road less traveled?

Bang Chan: With the song “Haven,” the concept itself, I think of it as a safe place for Stray Kids and our fans, Stay. Basically, a place everyone can gather, they can do whatever they want—they can sing, they can dance, they can do whatever they want and not worry about anything. It doesn’t matter what you believe in, when you’re in this special district we have, everyone matters and everyone is special. I talk a lot about how we’ve grown, but for me the reason why I’m able to have the opportunity to lead in this way is because the boys give me a lot of strength. I might be the leader, but I don’t tell them, “OK, do this, do that, we’re going to do it like this, guys.” It’s more of a “what do you guys want to do? What do you guys think is right?” and as the leader I gather all the opinions and go with the best option for everyone. That’s what’s most important about being the leader. It’s because of the members I can lead.

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The first full-length album appears to be so important at your label, JYP Entertainment. You had the full support of senior label artists like 2PM, DAY6 and TWICE. Did anything feel special or different in that regard?

Bang Chan: It is our first first-length album, we released a lot of EPs, but what felt like such a big thing to me, gave me goosebumps and made me feel so great was having seniors like [2PM’s] Jun.K, [DAY6’s] YoungK and [TWICE’s] Sana come and cheer us on. It gave us a lot of strength and a lot of confidence for the album. A full album is really special, and because it’s a special opportunity, we wanted to put in what Stray Kids are really all about right now.

There’s a lot going on in the world right now. Are there any messages, causes or words of comfort you’d like to share with readers right now?

Bang Chan: We are really aware of all the things that are happening around the world and we know our Stays are going through it as well. We may not be close distance-wise but, luckily because we have the Internet and our music, we want to say that we’re always there for them. You can always come find us for comfort—just like I said in “Haven”—and know that we never forget about you. We’re always, always there.

The conversation has been edited and condensed for clarity.

Source: Forbes

#stray kids #200715 #era: GO生 #t: article #t: interview #forbes

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masterhandss · 4 years

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Hamefura Idol AU! (part 2)

Here’s a completely unrelated Katarina idol art by @Sangotofura on twitter!

This is a continuation of my first post, the one that is more of an overview of the original FL game and the original descriptions of the characters. I don’t know if I want to write a story for this, since again this is just an excuse to draw, but I’m really having fun with expanding the alternate version of the world of hamefura.

It’s a lot of fun to rewrite hamefura’s story to fit in an idol setting, so I hope you guys don’t mind if I write a bit more for my dumb au dhjgfjs

More tidbits about the ‘Game’:

The game’s name, Fortune Lover: Cinderella Idol! or “Fortune Lover”, is read as “for-tune lover” by the fans (get it? tune?? pls laugh). The ‘F’ of the name is written as a fortissimo.

In the setting for Fortune Lover, the entertainment industry is the biggest industry of all time, with music being the most popular form. It has been like this for decades, and as time progressed, people’s tastes and expectations of music evolved, leading to the creation and popularity of idols.

Idol-Producers are a new project that is testing the capabilities of a idol teen, observing how their involvement in their own success can impact how they manage their time and how they can bring the absolute best out of themselves, on their own. Maria is the first idol who will be testing this new style. She is still a producer to herself, the boys, and even Sophia and Mary if you choose to have them join you. Despite being an idol, they still call Maria their “producer” and treats her like one.

The characters in the game are in 3D CG, as the game includes the dance choreography or “MV Mode” if you perfect the score of the rhythm game.

While Katarina’s bullying isn’t really death threatening, it’s more in line with the petty kind like verbal threats, sabotaging Maria’s idol clothes and stage equipment, paying someone to mess up her tracks during performances, badmouthing her infront of tv show producers and hosts, and stuff like that.

Katarina’s bullying isn’t as bad as it is in the original otome game, but she gets shunned by the public because behavior like that is only supposed to be done behind the curtains. The public has such a pure and honest perception of idols that they never think of the idea that the girls who smile and sing on stage actually try to stab each other in the back when the stage lights are off. Some people think that Katarina’s character is just a persona, so knowing that she is actually an ignorant and arrogant rich girl idol-wannabe, her fans lose respect for her. Katarina’s harassment of Maria is one of the few cases that are brought to light by the end of the game, and because of how much the public loves Maria by that point, they are enraged by Katarina’s behavior, making her lose support on all sides

Katarina had been in love with Gerald ever since they were children, and while Gerald has always been a popular boy among both his peers, when she found out Gerald was going to be an idol, she disliked the idea of sharing her beloved Gerald to a huge audience of people, so she became an idol to stand alongside him and to make herself worth of him by charming him as as an idol and gaining a large following herself. Despite this, Katarina didn’t strive too hard to be a talented idol, as she was too confident on herself due to the pampering of her parents.

Even if the player doesn’t desire to romance any of the four boys, given how the game is written and how it is programmed, the boy with the highest relationship points with Maria will confess to her by the end of the game. It would be impossible to not interact and gain points with the boys, as you gain relationship points in most areas of the games (when you “practice” your characters, when you “play” their songs, when you “give” them new clothes, when you “converse” with them in story mode, etc.). In the event that there are two characters with the exact same amount of points, the game will choose a boy for you.

Sorcier Pro.’s current president is Geoffrey Stuart (for reasons that will make sense someday)

Katarina-Gerald and Mary-Alan aren’t engaged in this au, but are constantly in each other’s presence due to most powerful bussinessmen and celebrities being good friends with each other.

Each girl has a specialty in a certain area: Katarina with dancing, Sophia with singing, Mary with acting/drama, and Maria (according to the official description of her in the box) with fashion coordination. Maria can be seen as more of a jack of all trades though, as she does represent the player.

While any of the boys can trigger the condemnation event that will lead to Katarina’s social suicide, the event is specifically associated with Keith and Gerald due to the severity of her presence and bullying if you have high relationship points with the two. With Alan and Nicole, Katarina’s event only happens for a few lines, but for Keith and Gerald, it takes place in complete detail, with it’s own animated cutscene.

Gerald’s route is also the most popular among the fans, with community surveys reporting that 53% of the game’s player base had Gerald as their final chosen love interest ( 25% with Keith, 12% with Nicol and 10% with Alan)

Monkey Girl/Past-Life Katarina

Since Maria’s name can’t be change in the game, but you can give her a “nickname” that represents the username of the player, Past-life Katarina’s name in the game is “SaruP” (or “Monkey producer” lol)

Saruchan (Monkey Girl) dies before she could finish her playthrough of the game, and all of her knowledge is based on her idol-expert best friend Acchan. She’s a bit tomboyish, and she loves to climb trees and move freely without a hint of poise or shyness, and is friendly to all genders. Her love for climbing, running, gardening with her grandma, and never ending amounts of energy gave her a pretty strong, flexible, agile and energetic body.

In Saruchan’s world, idols do exist, but aren’t portrayed in the cutesy and exaggerated manner that fiction does. Though it’s no surprise to know that in her world, almost every girl had dreamed to become an idol at one point, even herself. Acchan doesn’t find the idea interesting though, as she only lives for the idealized version of idols that exist in fiction. Acchan explains that girls their age are being brainwashed by the idealized version of idols that are presented in the media that they consume, and that they should wake up and learn to enjoy the fictional idols as they are. Despite Acchan’s realistic disapproval of idol fantasies, she does love playing idol rhythm games and gacha games, and spends her allowance on getting DLC costumes for Maria in FL. Acchan even pre-ordered tickets for herself and Saruchan for an idol concert featuring the VA of the characters, that they were supposed to attend to on the day that Saruchan dies.

She dies the game way: on her way to school and being killed by a truck that runs her over.

The last thing Saruchan sees before she loses consciousness forever is the wallpaper of the game’s boxart from her phone screen as it flies out of her hands.

My Next Life as an ‘Idol’?? All Routes Lead to Doom!!!

As usual, Katarina ends up remembering her future as an 8 year old kid, and plans to prepare for her future “banishment” and humiliation. She learns to farm in order to provide for herself once she gets shunned and retreats to the countryside, and (unknowingly) meets all the characters in the game and gains their good favor before the events of the game begins.

Her head bump still happens with Gerald, but their encounter happened in a party rather than an engagement meeting, with her tripping over a rock as she decides to run to the young man in order to introduce herself. Such introductions never got past beyond their names and few exchanges of dialogue, as the bump occurred and Katarina was immediately brought to the hospital after he called for help.

Being a girl who wanted to be an idol at one point, Katarina wanted to use this chance to fulfill her dream of becoming one! But knowing the fate that will await her, (public humiliation, isolation, and banishment to some degree) she tries to figure out ways to avoid ruining her future.

While not as bad as death, Katarina is aware that the ending of the game implies that the blemished opinion that everyone will gain of her will lead to her leading a miserable life; one that will prevent her from gaining new allies and even studying in peace without being made fun of or called out for. It might even ruin her marriage prospects, for all she knows (it doesn’t but she’s too stupid to know that). The stakes of the bad ending aren’t life threatening, but it is personal, as Katarina always dreamed of becoming an idol as a teen and doesn’t like the idea of being able to enjoy it for a few months only to be dragged down to hell right afterwards.

The Claes is a wealthy family known for her father’s knowledge and skills when it comes to trades and business, and for her mother’s beautiful opera singing voice and celebrity presence. As usual, Katarina’s father adopts Keith for the purpose of gaining a direct heir for the business, in fear that Katarina’s future significant other might just to interested in her to gain it.

Katarina’s plan is to learn how to farm in order to be able to support herself after her banishment, give Keith lots of love so he doesn’t end up becoming a playboy like in the game, and to train herself in dancing and singing in order to not embarrass herself like the original Katarina did. After meeting Gerald again and realizes his weakness, she eventually prepares (or buys, since the setting is modern) toy snakes that she can use to surprise him whenever the condemnation event occurs, using his shocked and panicked reaction as a way to distract the media from the claims that will surely fall upon her (since no one would have expected the calm and collected Gerald Stuart to scream like a girl at the sight of a toy snake, right? That would stay in the headlines for weeks! maybe).

As a kid, she has private singing tutors, and takes more general singing classes when she gets older. She doesn’t have dance training as a kid, but she does like to exercise and move her body around, so it slowly turned into the stamina-filled flexible body that she is used to.

Katarina and Keith - Their meeting and impressions are mostly the same, which the difference being that Katarina used a display axe above a fireplace to break down the door, and Keith got her injured by accidentally pushing her off a pretty high cliff in the Claes grounds while they were both running and playing chase (rather than being isolated for dangerous Earth Magic, Keith as a child was a clutz who attracted danger to everyone around him, making his older brothers make fun of him for being “cursed”).

Katarina showers him with love, making him affectionate towards his step sister, in the same as he was in the original material.

When Keith finds out about Katarina’s desire to train to become an idol, he is very supportive of her, and decides to train with her in order to be able to stand by his sister on stage (as well as to generally gain the same interests as her in order to guarantee that they will stay close as they age). The contrast being that instead of becoming an idol to gain the adoration of millions of nameless faces, he now wants to become an idol to gain the love and attention of a single person, which is Katarina uwu.

Katarina and Gerald - Gerald eventually attempts to visit Katarina to apologize for the incident, expecting her to blame him for what happened, given the personality she showed him. He was shocked to find a scar on her forehead, farming while wearing a farmer’s attire despite coming from a wealthy and esteemed family, singing and dancing to a song as she waters her vegetables. He watches for only a minute, unable to look away from the girl who danced like deflating balloon and sang off key while almost drowning her small vegetable in water. She looked weird, but she was having the time of her life, and he could see and hear it from where he stood.

In a daze, thinking he might have entered the wrong house by accident or walked on the daughter of a maid doing chores. He walks out and leave the Claes estate without a word, and visits again after only a few days, as he couldn’t get his mind off of the oddity that he had witnessed.

He eventually realizes that it was Katarina on his second visit, as he finds the scar of the odd farmer girl on the same girl who boasted about her family’s wealth in the party. After giving formal introductions, Gerald offers to walk around the garden to get to know each other better, in order to continue the conversation that she had originally forced on him back in the party (it was done to be polite and respectful, rather than any interest to continue). In the garden, they pass by the area that Katarina had planned to turn into her farm, and Gerald was in awe at how unorganized and messy everything looked (there was dirt everywhere, the tools were left on the floor because she had to prepare to meet him, there was more bags of manure than what was even needed etc! Katarina internally cursed at her 8 year old delicate rich girl body for not having the same arm strength as her 17 year old self). It was then that it sunk in that the adorable singing and dancing farming girl that he accidentally saw really was Katarina Claes. She wasn’t the very definition of abnormal, but she was nothing like the daughters of his father’s friends that cried when not attended to or complained when not given the best dresses and shoes. There was no shred of worry about her family’s expectations in her eyes, nor expectations of him to act like his perfect and matured self whenever they met in parties, movie premiers or social events, which made him yearn for her company.

After finding out about Katarina’s desire to become an idol one day, Gerald secretly planned to do the same (and even have her recruited in his brother’s agency) in order to become closer to her through her love of entertainment and to have a chance to be constantly in her presence. When he found out about the charms that male idols have on their female fans, he also plans on using this as an opportunity to gain both her attention and romantic affection, by perfecting his (already maxed out) charms as male idol.

Katarina and Mary - The two met during a part hosted by Mary’s mother in the Hunt Estate, inviting all of her mother’s old opera acquaintances, sponsors and co-workers for a formal reunion. Katarina and Keith accompanied their parents to the party, leading them to be introduced to the Hunt Family’s daughters. As usual, Katarina had the urge to “release the chocolate shark” during the party and takes an elegant leave. She eventually gets lost in the estate and finds herself in the garden. Katarina was in awe of the garden’s beauty, and stood still as she watched what seemed like beautiful siren sing by herself near a majestic fountain, with a single rose in hand.

Mary was surprised to hear an aggressive applause after singing to herself. Katarina aggressively complimented Mary for her adorable yet elegant voice, and asked who she was seeing as a singing trainer. When Mary replied that she was not having any singing or vocal training, Katarina rains even more compliments down, claiming that “her voice was that of an angel!”. Mary denied it, so Katarina proceeded to sing the same song that she had sang, as a point of comparison to make her feel more confident in herself. Mary shyly and unexpectedly joins her, and they ended up having a small and quiet duet in the garden. Katarina’s voice sounded a bit rough and squeak-ish, but alongside Mary’s elegant and controlled singing, they didn’t sound bad at all.

When Katarina finds out that Mary is also the one who tends to the flower garden, she proceeds to shower Mary with even more compliments, and asks her to visit and help with her own farm garden. Being complimented for having a beautiful voice and a green thumb made her feel validated and appreciated, so she often visits the Claes household in order to be in constant presence of her first and dearest friend. The rest is the same.

When Mary found out about Katarina’s dream of becoming an idol, she started taking intense vocal training as well as various exercises in order to be able to join her in her endeavor. She slowly built a more brazen and tough personality in order to be able to join and protect her friend from the rumored cold and intense reality of the idol world, as well as due to the antics of her friends.

Katarina and Alan - From Mary, she eventually finds out that the event where Mary duets and falls in love with Alan occurred. Katarina realizes that duet must not have been that effective because she has done the same with Mary, but is confident that Mary is in love with him because Alan is a very talented and handsome individual. A few days later, the fourth Stuart son bursts into the doors of the Claes household, and demands to meet with Katarina. She learns that Alan had developed a small crush on Mary, and that he wants to challenge Katarina for her hand. Same shenanigans ensues, leading up to the piano duel where his talents in the piano was in full display to everyone in the manor.

Katarina knew how to play the piano (just the basics though), so she was in awe listening to someone who almost sounded like a pro! Alan runs off after Gerald compliments him, Katarina chases after him, and they got to talk behind a bush. Alan wouldn’t take her compliments, but Katarina aggressively insisted that his talents are nothing to scoff at.

When Alan says that he’s sure that his brother can play just as good, if not better than him, Katarina speculates that it wasn’t the case, because everyone had things that they are good and bad at. Not everyone is the same, no one learns at the same pace, and that she’s sure even if Gerald can play the piano better than him (and she doubts he can in the first place), no one can play the piano like Alan can. The scores in his heart are his alone, and that nothing is more beautiful than the melody that the heart enacts. Katarina knew that the score he played wasn’t an existing one, and knowing Alan’s character from the game, it’s probably either an impromptu score or one he had composed by himself. Her guess was correct, leading Alan to be caught off guard by her compliment, almost feeling emotional as no one had ever guessed and believed that the music he played was his own, until Katarina did.

She shows off the power of the toy snake to Alan, making him laugh and see his brother in a different light. He still constantly visited Katarina for their duels, but as time progressed, he lost the affection for Mary (as he saw her as a little sister now after interacting with her in the Claes Household) that made him want to challenge Katarina. They still followed up on those challenges, for fun rather than for sport.

When he finds out about Katarina’s dream to become an idol, he is determined to join her in order to be able to compose songs and melodies that she can sing, intending to bring out the absolute best of his muse’s voice with his own music. Someone his age might not be fit to compose songs for an idol, so he intends to become one as well in order to gain a reputation as a competent composer.

Katarina and Sophia - The two meets at an afternoon party hosted by the Stuarts, as a celebration for the birthday of the twins. Katarina had to “powder her noes” after a few trips to the buffet table, and leaves Keith and Mary. She’s chased down by a dog, climbs up a tree, and accidentally watches a group of kids and older bully a small girl who sounded like she was about to cry. The same events occur, up to their second encounter in the party. Katarina accidentally quotes a line from a novel that she was reading, and after realizing that Sophia understood her reference, she asked for them to meet again in order to discuss their similar interests.

Everything is pretty much the same, the difference being that somehow idols were brought as a topic of conversation, with Sophia revealing that she is actually a huge fan of idols. Katarina, feeling reminiscent of her idol-expert best friend Acchan, tells her that she actually wants to be an idol herself and insists that Sophia tell her about everything she loves about idols. Sophia, who is surprised to also find another idol fan who is as young as her, becomes even more excited and tells her all about her love for idols: how they are able to wear such adorable outfits onstage, how they sing songs that carry so much meaning, how they carry their fan’s dreams with them when they dance and sing, how amazing it is to be able to juggle so many occupations at once, and much more.

With both love of novels and idols, Sophia constantly finds herself in the Claes Household in order to talk to Katarina about books, idols, song recommendations etc.

When Sophia was first told that Katarina wanted to be an idol, she was very supportive of her and announced herself as Katarina’s number one fan. As time passed, she realized she wasn’t just satisfied with just watching Katarina from afar, she wanted to sing and dance alongside her! She wants to use her knowledge of romance novels and idols to help make herself and Katarina the best idols to ever exist! She wants to sing on stage about her feelings: about how much she loves Katarina, idols and their beloved novels!

Katarina and Nicol - When he found out that someone had invited his little sister to a small book club, he was very wary, thinking that she was one of the many other girls who tried to use Sophia in order to become closer with him. He was shocked to realize that that was not the case, and that Katarina had barely seen him at all, and had opened his timid little sister’s heart. When Sophia asked Katarina if she found her appearance creepy, Nicol proceeds to explain further, expecting to see a hint of guilt or displeasure from Katarina Claes, only for both of them to be met with unyielding determination to have Sophia as a close friend. Sophia went home that day in tears, thankful to have found a friend who truly wanted to stick by her side.

The Claes siblings often visits their home so the girls can have their book club, even bringing Mary Hunt with them occasionally. Katarina, while looking a bit flustered, is capable of having a conversation with him without averting her eyes, which was a breath of fresh air to the countless camera crew, staff, visitors and even strangers who couldn’t look him in the eyes because how of how much of a beautiful child model he was. It all leads up to the moment where Katarina compliments him with how blessed he is to have such a beautiful and wonderful family, which contrasted against the ignorant adults who pitied him for having parents who refused to abuse the potential of his beautiful face and for not being as beautiful as their son, as well as for having a freakish looking sister.

Nicol, just like his sister, desired to constantly be in Katarina’s positive presence, and visited her often, leading them to be acquainted and friends with the entire group that Katarina enraptured.

When he found about his sister’s and Katarina’s desire to become idols, Nicol thought of doing the same, in order to be able to continue to watch over and protect both Sophia and Katarina, as well to be able to continue being close with Katarina (as their lack of similar interests and age gap might lead her away from him, but tbh that is never gonna be a problem with Katarina). He also plans to use his influence as a child model to propel Sophia and Katarina’s careers, as a way of supporting his two favorite girls.

Notes

I’m not sure how I feel about Gerald’s backstory, I might rewrite that if anyone kindly wants to critique it.

Instead of Mary’s green thumb, it’s her voice that leads her to Katarina and Alan, but I still think Sophia would still have a better singing voice than her, so both her voice and green thumbs both play a part in her character. Mary’s high pitched voice gets a bit deeper as she ages, while Sophia’s voice stays very high.

I really like the idea that rather than the original ambitions and goals that leads the harem to become idols in Fortune Lover, now it’s the effect of Katarina’s constant insistence and declarations of becoming an idol that leads to everyone doing the same. In this timeline, the harem probably wouldn’t have thought of (or planned early) becoming an idol if Katarina never brought it up.

I’m writing this at midnight again, lol, but yeah I’m not planning on writing a fanfiction for this, I guess, but I do want to have an established plot so rather than chapters, I’m just writing a full overview for fun haha

When I mentioned that Sophia loved idols, I didn’t realize that I might have accidentally implied that she was just as an idol fan as Acchan was, but with actual idols this time, so I went with :DD

I’ll touch up on Idol Katarina, Anne, Maria, Sirius/Raphael and Fortune Lover 2 in the next one.

I’m really happy that there are people who actually read my previous post and said that they liked it! Feedback and suggestions are appreciated! I still need a final name for the units so help me pls hahaha.

I’ll rewrite this post when I feel like adding/changing stuff.

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fmdduri · 3 years

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word count: question 1 is 402 words, question 2 is 316 words, question 3 is 283 words, question 4 is 342 words, question 5 is 268 words, question 6 is 351 words. reward: +5 tracker points.

1. assuming your muse has changed in some way, be it internally or as a result of a change of the external factors around them, how is your muse different? these can be as small as an opinion on a song they hadn’t released previously or as big as a major change in their background.

probably the biggest changes of duri, comes from the fact that he now is aged down to being born in the year of 1994. i always felt like it would be better for duri to be younger, but because he was already well established, he continued to be in his hag days. however, thanks to the restructure, i was able to finally make duri part of maknae line of his group, in this case being titan. it’s a little change, but it really makes me pretty happy.

with this change, as well, comes some slight background changes. duri has now become a trainee in january 2009, training for two years until january of 2011, which was when titan had debuted. before, duri had only trained for about two months, before he had debuted as the member of a group. this change also removes him from completely his military enlistment before debuting, due to age - which is fine, because i have future headcanons involving enlistment that are in my head, that probably won’t be shared, but they’re there!

opinion wise on things, i think the only opinions that duri has is a bit of a favor for the infinite releases, over the other releases. that might just be the second gen stan in me, but infinite is one of my ults (shinee and cassie still taking the first two spots, of course,) but they’re definitely tied with exo. however, overall, duri really enjoys their discography, and has no completes about it whatsoever.

one small thing that changed as well as the name of people in his life. i changed the names of his parents, as well as his uncle and aunt. now, his father is bonju, his mother is aeri, his uncle is bongki, and his aunt is choa. this is a small change i wanted to reference as different, just because i mentioned them all often and they had different names before.

one last change that i think is important to mention is that even though duri has never had a scandal attached to himself - he has had a saesang issue, which simply just comes with titan - it also doesn’t help that he’s always been clean from scandals, so more seemed to attach themselves. however, duri is a titan member that bc entertainment decided to protect from them, so it’s a problem that doesn’t really stick around for him.

2. what does your muse think of their company and their group?

bc entertainment is seemingly a bit of a mixed bag - at least, that’s how it feels to duri. he feels really lucky to be in bc entertainment, as they’re considered to be the best of the best, and they’re probably the reason why titan became “the kings of kpop” in the first place, nonetheless. not the mention, bc entertainment has given duri so many great opportunities for his career outside of however, he wonders if bc entertainment fully cares about their artists in general. since he’s struggling himself with mental health and bc entertainment has a bit of a problem with overworking duri, he can’t help but to wonder if they cared if he came to them? or if they’d notice something wrong with him? generally, he’s a bit on the fence.

when it comes to his group, titan, duri really loves titan. he enjoys the music that they have put out thus far (of course, give or take a few of their later years tracks, but it’s nothing major) and believes that he’s been a great fit for titan. generally, duri has no problems with titan at all. even though he may be a member that doesn’t have any scandals, whereas other members may (based off of the group description), he believes that things simply happen and don’t believe any member of the group is really at a fault for getting caught up in something. simply, things happen, that’s how to put it. however, duri did have a hard time with titan at first because a lot of people believed he didn’t fit the concept, so he had to work really hard to prove that he was able to handle the concept. now, fans and netizens see that duri is able to fit himself into whatever concept is needed based off his charisma and stage presence. in general, he loves titan as a whole.

3. is your muse on their first contract or their second? if they’ve renewed, what were their feelings around that at the time and what were their hopes for their second contract? if they haven’t renewed, what are their current thoughts on the end of their eventual first contract?

duri is currently on his second contract with bc entertainment and titan. when it came to renewing, duri was more than happy with renewing because bc entertainment was still treating them rather well. he can’t say he felt anything negativity towards bc entertainment, simply because of the fact that he was getting work in and out of titan itself. though, there was a bit of a wish to have some solo songs. of course, maybe there’s the same wants of more of a break because titan is one of the hottest groups on the scene and it’s clear that even with things that have happened, titan isn’t going anywhere. the group still has a hold on the industry and truthfully, he hoped that’s something that would continue to happen with the second contract. so, when it comes to hopes for his second contract, he was hoping to finally see a solo debut within the midst. thankfully, that was something that had come the next year, and he had gotten his hope for the second contract. another hope had been to get more than one solo project a year - at this time, he had only gotten either a brand ambassadorship or variety show main cast a year, with nothing else happening to him, and bc entertainment seemingly wanting duri to mainly stay within the realms of titan itself. this was something else that came to fruition, with him getting more projects each year, essentially working more into that realm of “overworking.” but, duri is rather happy and wishes he could be gay in the open - but, that’s clearly something that he has to continue to wish and is just that, a wish.

4. what are your muse’s goals and motivations?

duri’s most personal goal/dream is probably be get married and have kids. of course, this is something that can’t happen right now, and probably won’t happen for a good while, since there’s still so much to do as a member of titan and as a soloist, so he has to continue on simply just not doing. however, it’s something that’s just really up there and something that he really wants for himself. for now, though, he’ll settle with dogs and a cat as his children, his fur children - they’re just as much of family as humans are.

another more personal goal that duri has is to do more for charity. for the longest time, he’s always done charity work. however, he feels like he could so do more, and would love to maybe become an ambassador for something of that sort. however, bc entertainment seems to not push for it all that much, so he assumes he’ll have to advocate for it himself. though, maybe they think his own person works of charity is more than enough, instead of gaining a ambassadorship for that.

career wise for goals, seems to be a bit more extensive for duri. of course, duri would really like to release more music wise. it would also be cool to chart higher than he has with his music, but he’s not complaining because he’s still done rather well. not to mention, the chance to do more osts for dramas. besides for that, he’d like to have more main cast variety jobs. this is something that he has a lot of fun with, where he really just gets to show off himself some. he enjoys making appearances on shows, but he’d love to have something a little bit more permanent once again. he’s sure he’ll manage to get there, of course. following that, duri would also love to have some more brand ambassadorships. however, he’d really enjoy some brighter ones, like what he has done for baskin-robbins and coca-cola, as a few others were seemingly not as bright.

5. what is one conflict, internal or external, that your muse is currently dealing with, has recently dealt with, or will need to deal with in the future?

the one conflict that duri has been slightly dealing and needs to deal with in the future is his mental health. due to the car accident that occurred when duri was five years old, he suffers with post traumatic stress disorder. when he was younger, this was something that was dealt with and he even kept up with it as a trainee. however, as duri got really busy with titan, as well as the established career claims, he seemingly fell off in treatment. this caused him to have a relapse with his mental health, sometime down the line. currently, it’s probably at it’s worst, and something he’s slightly dealing with. however, because it’s something that he’s really managed to ignore for a bit, pretending that he’s perfectly okay, and telling people that he’s okay - it needs to be dealt with in the future, but he continues to really just ignore it. not to mention, he also has insomnia that goes along with the ptsd, so more often than not, he’s exhausted, rather than well rested. he treats it with multiple cups of coffee, which definitely just makes it worst - but, that’s how he has to get through a schedule. simply, there seems to be a lot that really goes along with this, along with often being haunted in his dreams with the scene that changed constantly, before he’s waking up sweating and sobbing. will he figure out how to ask for help? or will he continue to suffer? it’s most likely the former, simply because he’s rather embarrassed that he has gotten bad all over again.

6. if your muse has established career claims, what are their thoughts on their career so far? if they do not, how do they feel about not having individual activities yet? what would they like to do in the future, if anything? if they don’t have ambitions for individual activities, explain why.

duri has an established career in modeling, variety, & songwriting. thus far, he’s really happy with his established career. it wasn’t something that he was really expecting, thinking that he’d have more osts or something along those lines, with bc entertainment most likely wanting to use his voices - since they did keep him hidden when he was a trainee, due to his voice and not letting him do anything during those two years. however, it’s a bit interested they wanted to use his face and his likeness for both modeling and variety instead. however, duri can’t really complain because he really liked being the ambassador for both beanpole and baskin-robbins - arguably he liked being the ambassador for baskin-robbins a bit more, since he felt it fit himself a bit more. but, he does understand getting a beanpole ambassadorship. when it came to being placed on main casts for variety, he did really enjoy those as well, especially cool kiz on the block. sure, he’s not really sporty (besides for being an avid gym-goer.) but, he really did enjoy doing the neighborhood sports and this was what had gotten him really more comfortable with variety, and it proved he was a good accent for variety. however, his next main cast wouldn’t come till 2018 with dunia: into a new world. truth be told, he didn’t really get it at first, but once he did, it was clear there really was something there. he had fun with the concept and the whole being brought back to life in the game was a cool addition. of course, duri really, really enjoyed getting to write for titan. he has full writing credits for b-sides: light, playboy, she’s dreaming, and lights out. he also had full writing credits for one title track, kokobop.

in the future, duri would like to continue this track of modeling, variety, and creative claims. of course, he’d also like more solo musics, but those are givens. in general, his career will be completely focused on music, modeling, variety, and creative claims - keeping himself to those 4 areas mostly.

#famedrstask1 #car accident mention tw #ptsd tw #beth has managed to make me even more excited for the restructure

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xxisxxisxxis · 4 years

Text

La fin

Inspired by this ask.

Present day Duff and Vivian reflect on their romantic relationship

I sat down with my best friend to discuss our affair for the first time in 26 years…and gain a final piece of closure the two of us have yet to attain from one another.

"This is gonna be interesting because both of our spouses are here." I say as I sit down, at my kitchen bar and Duff takes a sip of his water before joining me.

"Nah, Su's as cool as a cucumber. We got this." He replies. "...I don't know about Sixx but me, you and Su can handle it." He teases.

"If you get war flashbacks, baby, just remember you're sober." I tell Nikki and he chuckles.

"I'll just go to the bathroom and sing 'Kumbaya'." Nikki adds and Susan laughs.

"It won't be that bad." She assures him. "I got my waterproof mascara on. I'm ready."

"I'm getting through this without crying." I state.

"You cry over google commercials, Viv." Duff informs me.

"Because they know how to market. This happened…" I have to do the math. "...thirty-two and a half years ago. I won't cry."

"Okay, well, just in case, I came prepared." Susan tosses me a pack of Kleenex.

"Thank you." I say to her, doubting I'll need it.

"I'm about to start the camera." Nikki tells us, going to press start on the camera he's got set up to film this. "Oh, it's already started." He states.

"It's okay, people won't care." I shrug, taking a sip of my Pepsi. "Okay, Hey, Guys." I say to the camera. "This is a very special occasion because I'm here with my best friend, and the father of my first child, Michael Andrew McKagan a.k.a Duff McKagan a.k.a Daddy McKagan according to some of you nasty, freaky, bastards." I pipe and Duff rubs his face.

"Oh my God." He chuckles.

"Do you read your instagram comments?" I remind him and he nods.

"It's just so weird to hear it in real time." He explains. "I think that's one of the most odd things you can call a sexual partner. Like…'daddy'..."

We just stare at each other for a moment and I look at the camera.

"He just single handedly dragged me in the nicest way possible." I say to him as Nikki and Susan try not to laugh.

"No, I jus--well, you can say whatever the hell you wanna say and call him whatever you wanna call him because you've earned it with the shit you've been through, but it's just odd for me to go online and there's, like, girls 30 years younger than me calling me 'daddy.' Like, I'm not sure if you realize this, sweetie, but I have daughters your age." He points out and I start laughing. "I-I could actually be your dad. Careful now."

"I think Vince has a higher chance of being these horny girls' father." I state.

"I know, but it's just food for thought, you know?" He shrugs.

"I don't even know how to transition from that to the topic--which is a serious topic, but this is just...oh my gosh." I giggle out, not able to stop.

"Speaking of 'food for thought'," He creates a transition for us to go into what we're talking about and I take the opportunity.

"Yes, we will be discussing our weird relationship-but-not-really-because-I-was-married-and-confused situationship in honor of my book coming out 'Verbatim: The Truth, The Whole Truth, & Nothing Left Unsaid', which tells everything that happened from 1981, to early 2000s, that people have already read about in everybody else's books." I explain. "I've had this, 'it isn't anybody's business' mindset and now, I feel like I'm in a place where I can tell what happened, including our thing--which is something, believe it or not, we have not talked about as much as people think we have."

"No, we haven't."

"I don't know exactly why we haven't spoken about it much, like it happened, it obviously happened because we got a son out of it...we just haven't acknowledged it happened, really. Which is why we're gonna ask the tough questions and hopefully get through some stuff."

"Which is nice because I honestly think the last time we even alluded to it was 1994, right after I got sober, and was advised to resolve things in my friendships, and even then we didn't get everything out there." He replies. "At least I didn't, and I feel like a lot of people have something to say about it, and we spent so many years letting other people define what that time was to us--which it was such a private and personal thing between the two of us that other people's two cent shouldn't have had the impact on us that it did--but we let it get to that point where we lost sight of what it meant to us and let it be defined however the fuck people wanted to call it. And that wasn't good for either of us, and I think that's one of the things that's kept me from bringing it up again. Especially now that, ya know, I'm married, have two grown daughters with Susan, you have Nikki and your children, and I've always thought there's no point in bringing something up that happened--like you said--thirty-two, almost thirty-three--years ago.

"Because you don't want to hear the b.s."

"Because I don't want to hear the b.s." He agrees. "But the more I've thought about it, there are parts of me that feels like I didn't get to say what I wanted to say when we decided to go separate ways, and that just gets fucking heavier and heavier with each year, and I'm sure you might, too."

"Oh, definitely." I agree completely, able to relate to it. "I feel like one of the main reasons for me, why I haven't tried to talk to you about it is because, like you said, people will automatically start something out of absolutely nothing, but also because I felt like I never had the right to." I state and he furrows his brows a little. "Why did you wait so long to tell me how you really felt about me?

He lets out a breath before thinking a moment.

"I refused to hinder what little happiness you had left in your relationship with Nikki. I knew you guys were struggling, I knew you were fighting like hell to get your relationship back on track, and I didn't want you to have any more confusion going on than what was already being put on you and if I would have told you how I felt, that would've done that. And then I was with Mandy for a while and that kinda helped me feel like I was over those feelings, but I realized I wasn't when she and I broke up."

"Did anybody else know about how you felt or..?"

"Well, I--yeah, Stevie thought it was just a little, like, I had a crush on you, but Izzy knew I loved you...which is why he wasn't shocked when they found out about us." He says. "...Of course he wasn't surprised because all the Nikki/Vanity stuff happened, so he was kinda expecting you to do something, which--okay, I don't know how to ask this." He admits, thinking of how to word it, glancing at Nikki.

"What?" I ask him.

"I just don't want to come across as an asshole for asking this because I'm assuming it's a lot deeper than just...okay, whatever, I'm asking it." He decides.

"Okay." I prepare for it and he sighs.

"Why did it take that level of public humiliation for you to realize you weren't in a good marriage?" He asks and it nearly makes the breath leave my body, Nikki and I looking at each other.

"Because it was public." I confess. "Everything else that had been done, had been done in private. There was no public input on it, there was nobody watching the situation unfold under a microscope, everything that happened up to that point was private. So, he could trip during a crack binge and shoot me and I could stay with him because I didn't have the public watching me, giving their opinions. But when his mistress announces it on TV, I can't just gloss over that because now everybody knows and has an inkling that 'uh oh, they're not this perfect relationship they've made people believe they are' and yes we came out and said it was a lie and tried to undo that damage that Denise caused, so physically I was still in the marriage, mentally I was drawing up divorce papers. And I'm not completely sure it was just the very public aspect of it, I think it was the fact it was her. And I realized, 'I can't compete with a woman who has absolutely everything about her that Nikki is addicted to: she knows how to have a good time, she's equally as wild as him, she's got the sex appeal, she's got all the drugs, she's on the same level as him in terms of entertainment industry' just everything that I wasn't...she was. And I was too exhausted at the point to try to compete with her so I gave up when that came out."

"I remember Izzy ranting, 'she's fucking comparing herself to Vanity and there's no reason to'." He impersonates Izzy and I chuckle.

"He drilled into my head for years to follow that I was fine the way I was, I didn't need to change anything about my looks, my personality, my hobbies, my sobriety, like it was like 'The Help' when she's constantly reassuring the little girl 'you is smart, you is kind, you is important'." I quote. "Anytime Izzy could see me struggling with myself or not feeling my best he'd be like 'seventeen outta ten, Viv. Seventeen.'"

Duff looks enlightened, and points to the space behind my right ear.

"That's why've got '17' right there." He realizes and I nod. "In his writing." He adds.

"In his writing." I confirm.

"That's--wow. I didn't know you struggled with that for so long because there was no competition." He assures me.

"Well, I already had shitty self-esteem and then that made it worse, and then even when you and I were together I still had this fear a little bit that you were only with me to help yourself get over Mandy."

"Abso-fucking-lutely not." He doesn't even think before saying and I feel myself tear up a little. "No way. No freaking way. I loved you, Viv, I really, really did. When you told me that you were filing as soon as the tour was over I started planning out our lives together, as crazy or cheesy that makes me seem, like, I was really going for it." He tells me.

"Duff." I feel guilty, my heart aching a little.

"I remembered, 'okay, she wants this many kids, she says she likes dogs but really wants a cat, too, she doesn't want to live in the middle of the city, she doesn't want an over-the-top house, she wants to go back to school at some point so I'll put away some savings for that', like, I was planning out everything and fitting Guns N' Roses in wherever there was time in that whole plan. I was ready to be with you and start a life with you. I really, really was." He adds and I see Susan's sympathy for him, only adding to my guilt.

"Well, just rip my heart out, why don't you?" I ask him to add some relief and Susan giggles, her bright smile coming back to her lips.

"Right?" She asks. "Geez, babe."

"I'm just saying." Duff tells us.

"Nikki didn't even plan his days out when he woke up back then, and then you were there with a calculator adding up how much money you probably needed to put away for my schooling."

"We wouldn't have had any money to go to school, anyway, Viv, 'cause it was all going to taxes and heroin." Nikki points out and I think for a moment.

"And house payments."

"And house payments." He agrees as I look back to Duff, who looks like he's thinking about something.

"Okay, sorry if this is a weird question, but what did you mean you felt like you had 'no right' to talk about our relationship?"

"Okay, well, we broke up, I was working on things with Nikki, you married Mandy four months after we broke up...I felt like 'okay, you've already gotten your husband back, he's gotten Mandy back, they're married, who the--' pardon my french ''--fuck are you to bring up your relationship and how it affected your friendship when you're both married to other people and doing your own things? Who are you to be worried with your time with him when you're with Nikki and he's got a wife, now?'."

"Ohh, yeah. Yeah." He knows what I'm talking about, nodding. "So, you kinda felt like it was disrespectful to dwell on it too long." He adds.

"Exactly. And I didn't want to disrespect Nikki, or Mandy, or Linda, and now Susan, by trying to work on us again, as friends, because we are exes, whether we want to admit it, we are. We dated. And I feel like it's easy to forget that sometimes because it was so long ago and that freaking sucks because I don't want…" My voice cracks and he looks at me pointedly as tears come to my eyes and I take a deep breath. "...I don't want to forget that time. And I'm not trying to be rude to my marriage or yours or make it seem like I still have those feelings for you, because I don't, but I don't want to forget there was a time in that hellacious cycle my life was in at that moment, that for a few months, I was genuinely happy in the midst of my life falling apart." I explain, sniffling. "And that wouldn't have been the case, if not for you. And I don't want to forget that."

"Vivian." He says as I grab at a tissue and I see Susan knuckle a tear in her tear duct.

"I don't know, it just felt like there was never a right time to address what happened fully because everything was happening so fast in our personal lives, for you and Guns, for Nikki and the band, I started having kids, and you got married a second time and your drinking was worse and worse, so it just never happened."

"Can I ask you something else?" He says and I nod. "When do you think we should have said, 'look, we were together, it happened, and it's okay'. Because we avoided it like the plague for years and still do at times, and that's practically due to--like I said earlier--listening to how people defined it. Like you were called a 'whore' and a 'slut' and just awful shit in public and in papers and tabloids for years after it happened and I feel like because of that, there was that element of 'we should be ashamed of ourselves and just pretend it never fucking happened' surrounding it, even though we had Monroe who's breathing proof of what happened at some point, but we just treated it as if we adopted him together as friends or something like--" I laugh, wiping a tear, and he laughs with me for a few seconds. "--it's the truth, though, we never talked about our relationship. We went on Howard Stern in '88 right after Monroe was born, and he grilled us about it, but we just shut the fuck down after that and didn't speak of anything again for a couple years until we got in that fight over you limiting my time with Monroe, and then again in '94, and that was it--and none of those times really accomplished anything. At all."

"We should have had that conversation before you got married to Mandy that May." I point out.

"That was so, so soon." He smiles nervously. "That was too soon, way too soon, to get married."

"You proposed to her the day after we broke up." I recall and he nods.

"I sure did. I sure as hell did. So stupid." He states. "I learned not to make important decisions when I'm in pain. 'Cause I married two different women when I was going through some painful stuff and only made it worse." He explains.

"And see that's the thing because you had me completely convinced you wanted Mandy. Like I felt so much better when we broke up, knowing you were with who you really wanted to be with, and I was with who I wanted to be with, and then I found out in an argument with you that you were miserable and married Mandy to try to make yourself excited about being back together with her."

"And that's exactly why I told you that because I needed you to be happy and if I would have told you how I really felt about you, you wouldn't have been happy because you would've felt guilty for staying with Nikki and fixing things with him. And I wouldn't have forgiven myself if I would have put you through that so I married Mandy so fast because I was hurt, and I thought I loved her as much as I loved you, and I held on to that and ran with it." He tells me. "Why wasn't I good enough for you to stay?"

I go to answer, before the weight of what he's asking really hits me, and several tears topple down my cheeks before I'm wiping them away.

"I can't begin to put into words how highly you surpassed 'good enough'." I inform him when I finally speak. "Um, my decision to stay with Nikki had absolutely nothing to do with you. That was all me, and issues I thought were resolved within myself that weren't resolved at all, I was just ignoring them." I say. "And something in me was telling me not to stay with you...and I fully believe that was God telling me to back the hell off because he had a plan for you and I had no business accompanying you in that plan as your significant other." I explain. "And I hate to say this, but I really feel like we would have gotten divorced."

His eyes widen and his brows raise, a knowing smile on his lips as his nods his head.

"And I hate to think that but we would have made it, maybe, up until '92 because I wasn't even your wife or your girlfriend but just being around you made me so miserable." I admit. "I-It was like--you would get up and start drinking until you passed out that night. I was watching the person who had his shit together the most in my life, fall apart, and that was scary for me because we had a son who was witnessing his dad spiral."

"Yeah." He rubs his lips together.

"And getting you to take accountability for what you were doing was like trying to bathe a cat." I add.

"And it took me months after getting sober to evaluate what went wrong in my life with the band, what went wrong in my relationships, what went wrong in my parenting with Monroe, what went wrong in my friendship/co-parentship with you, and own up to what I played a part in because none of it imploded on it's own, or just because of other people, like I played a part in all of it, too, and admitting that took a lot of time to swallow my pride and just accept that I became the very thing I got pissed at Nikki for being, years prior to that, and saying, 'okay, I made all those mistakes, I fucked up, how can I do better and learn from it to better myself, to better my friendships, to better my relationship with my son, and just do what I'm supposed to do?' And I even ended up going to Nikki, and apologizing for what happened between us," he motions between me and him, "because even before you and him were separated over the Vanity thing, knowing you went to me for shit, over him, made him feel less than, made him feel like he wasn't a good enough husband and I kinda felt the same way when he stepped up for Monroe when I was going through my drinking, and it made me feel like I wasn't adequate enough as a father because Monroe was leaning a bit more on him than he was on me, and for the shit I was going through in my life with my alcoholism and drugs, I was doing the best I could do as a dad. And it made me realize that Nikki was doing the best he could do as a husband back when he was in the thick of his heroin addiction, because he was sick and couldn't fucking help himself, just like I was sick and couldn't help myself, and neither of us wanted to hear we had a problem, neither of us wanted help. And I know people are gonna, 'well, Nikki cheated and was mean to her and this and that', I know what you looked like when Nikki was hurting you. I know the look you would get on your face...I know that I hurt you as much as Nikki did through my drinking because you would look at me the way you would look at him when you weren't recognizing the person in front of you due to how royally they had fucked themselves up."

"Yes." I nod, not even arguing.

"And that fucking hurt to realize that I was hurting you as bad as he had, and I remembered getting so pissed at him for doing that back in '86/'87 as he got worse, but then I did it, too, and that experience really opened my eyes when I got sober because I wouldn't have been humbled in that way had I not had a drinking addiction and reached that low, and I do think that's one of the reasons that was allowed to happen to me." He finishes and I take a deep breath before asking:

"If Monroe wouldn't have been conceived, if we wouldn't have had a child to come out of our relationship, knowing what we know now, how we ended up not staying together, the public slander and stuff we had to go through...would you still have had a relationship with me, if you could go back and change it?"

"Without a doubt, yes." He says, matter-of-fact. "It would have been a waste of a blessing to not have taken the opportunity to love someone as recklessly--maybe even stupidly, at times--unconditionally, with the magnitude I loved you with, at such a young age. Like, usually you can expect to find something like what we had when people get a little older, and get through all their bullshit relationships before finding the person that loves them for them fully, but I had the chance of experiencing that when I was, like, in my early twenties...and I didn't experience that again, and so much more, until I met Susan." He says and I nod. "And I don't want you to think that because we haven't spoken about it, maybe as much as we should have, that I'm ashamed of you or us or embarrassed, because I'm not proud that we did what we did in that timing--because it was really shitty timing and we both can agree on that, I think," he raises his brows and I agree, "but I will never be ashamed, or apologetic, or embarrassed that I ever had that with you. I felt like one of the most fortunate people to even know you, and then to have that relationship we had--even for the few months it lasted--was just...it was such a short time compared to how long you've been with Nikki and how long I've been with Su, but we spent it loving each other the best that we could. And we really did love each other, and we do still love each other--even if it's not in that same way, the spirit of it, I guess, is still there. There's still that 23 year old kid in me that'll kick somebody's ass over you, and wants to see you happy, and is in absolute love with you. And don't get me wrong, there's a 56 year old me that wants to see you happy and that'll still kick somebody's ass over you." He clarifies, making me laugh. "I'm just pointing out that even when those feelings went away, I don't think that bond ever did."

"Yeah." I nod, sniffling as I press a tissue to under my eye to catch more tears. "Do you, um...do you remember our break up?"

He exhales and gives me a little smile, nodding, before tears come to his eyes.

"I--yeah, I...I remember it…" He informs me.

"We had just gotten done messing around, and if we did anything before we went to bed we would just stay in bed and go to sleep, but if we did anything in the afternoon or whatever we'd get up shortly after and clean up and go about the day. And we got done, it was, like, 2:00pm, and it was this odd feeling in the midst of it that 'this is gonna be the last time we ever do this with one another', and neither of us said a word, we just laid there with each other for four hours when we were done, taking in every second that we could. Well I finally got up to go back home and check on Nikki because he had OD'd the night before." I explain.

"And you went to the door to leave and I stopped you, and was like, 'I know you're going to make things right with Nikki, and I'm going to fix things with Mandy, and I want you to know that I love you, and I'm proud of you, and I always will and always will be'. Of course you can understand me a little better now because I was crying when I choked those out, but, um," he laughs and I smile back more tears. "And you said, 'thank you, I love you, Duff' and gave me a kiss and a hug and then you were gone."

"And we rarely spoke about it, again."

"And we rarely spoke about it, again." He confirms and I let out a breath, feeling more tears swell in my eyes. "What a fucking way to end a relationship." He adds.

"This is where I'm really gonna start crying, um…" I start, chuckling nervously. "...I wasn't thanking you for being understanding, I was thanking you for everything that you'd done for me, and it took me a while to understand that that was one of the things I felt like was unresolved because that 'thank you' had a lot of weight behind it." I tell him.

"Okay." He tells me, listening intently.

"This is so freaking stupid and unhealthy but I wrote suicide notes for when Nikki finally OD'd and died, because I knew if he were to go, I'd have to go with him, I couldn't live without him." I tell him and he looks a shocked. "You taught me that I could live without him when I didn't think that I could, and you brought me so much peace and rest in a time when I couldn't remember the last time I was at peace, and I sure as hell couldn't get any rest. And I felt, and still feel, so indebted to you for those months that you spent trying your hardest to fix what you didn't break--you risked your career over me, you protected me, you defended me, you supported me, you loved me--and that's what I was thanking you for that day, and I feel like I've got a weight off my shoulders now because I have never told you that and I've always wanted to but didn't think it was a good time."

"Holy shit, Viv." He wipes a stray tear, and I see Susan doing the same, Nikki just smiling at me like he's glad I've gotten that weight off of me, because he knows I've been wanting to say it for years.

"And I'm sorry it was such a shitty breakup that kind of came out of nowhere."

"The way you were screaming and crying and begging God whenever we were trying to get Nikki to wake up, I knew if he lived you were gonna fix things. I was prepared for it, I promise." He assures me. "And I'm really glad we got to do this and get this out there with each other and I really hope you were able to get some closure with this, because I really did."

"I did, too." I nod, wiping more tears.

"I love you." He tells me as we get out of our chairs, giving me a quick, innocent, peck on the lips, before hugging me tightly.

"I love you, too."

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#gateway drug

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soyouareandrewdobson · 4 years

Text

Doing something for fun: RPGs about broken anuses.

As promised, after the abomination that was the Sam arc, I am now going to write random posts about more positive/fun things. However, I also decided to add a little twist to them and correlate them in some way thematically to Dobson. E.g. by reviewing a game/show that does all the things Dobson hates/obsesses about/or fails at right.

And my first entry in that regard is related to a videogame that came out a couple of years ago, based on a tv show Dobson claims to hate. South Park: The fractured but whole.

Seeing how the game is 3+ years old at this time and there have been tons of reviews & walkthroughs showing how good and fun the game is, I do not really want to cover the plot and all the things that make it great in detail. Lets just say you can really feel that Parker and Stone were heavily involved in the writing of the game, as it is filled to the brim with references to the show and the typical satirical humor of it, that in parts manages to cross the line even further for me than the show. Right from the start you get a very dark but smart social joke and commentary out of the way, when as you set up your characters looks and the difficulty of the game, it is the tone of your skin that decides how hard the game gets. Meaning if you play as a black person, you are having a very hard time. It is not too preachy, just an acknowledgment that yes, in American society, blacks can have it harder compared to white people. Especially when living in a town like South Park, where social standing is pretty low and the police force is inherently corrupt and racist, doing something so outrageously to black people, I do not want to spoil it. Let’s just say it ends in a better Lovecraft joke than any of the shit SJWs did in light of censoring Call of Cthulhu board rpgs.

The overall plot is simple: While last time the kids played fantasy and things escalated quickly as they do in South Park, this time they play superheroes, with two fractions having formed: Coon and Friends vs the Freedom Pals and things escalating just as quickly. What starts off as the hunt for a missing cat to earn a 100$ reward Cartman wants to use to start a multi billion dollar movie franchise just like Marvel, turns soon into the player and his friends having to fight a real crime conspiracy thought up by one of South Park’s most nefarious characters, which also involves genetic mutations, time travel and eldritch horrors. Thankfully you, the “New Kid” from the last game, even after losing all your previous powers thanks to no one playing fantasy anymore, gain new superhero powers, make friends with the South Park kids again and even learn new fart techniques by none other than Morgan Freeman, that help you out along the way. All while also slowly revealing more about your backstory hinted on in the previous game and the tragedy of your dad having had intercourse with your mother.

Being a South Park and RPG fan for years, I wanted to play this game for quite some time, but only managed to do so recently. And even if I spoiled myself massively over time with cutscenes and major battles online, this game is still fun (thanks in part also to the fact I watched the cutscenes years ago and by now forgot a lot of them). The turn based battle system is way more interesting than last time by also depending on you positioning the characters on the field in a strategy based RPG style, there are lots of classes to choose and powers to combine (I myself going for elementalist, assassin, plantmancer and blaster currently) and you have a ton of allies in the game. The original cast of the four main boys, Jimmy and Butters has expanded significantly in this game with characters such as SUPER CRAIG, Clyde as the blood sucking MOSQUITO, Token as TUPPERWARE and Wendy as the social media huntress CALL GIRL (yes, that is her name) and they all are fun to interact and play with, with each one having their own unique sets of moves and finishers once again. Even outside of the battle, thanks to the writing, there are always great lines from them to get when interacting or taking missions from them. I especially came to love Tweek and Craig, who are not just decent fighters (Tweek in particular is a great elementalist) , but in this game are also now a couple ever since that yaoi episode from South Park. Helping them reconcile after a bad break up over the course of the game just feels surprisingly nice, mostly because unlike other LGBT celebrating media out there (Korra and She Ra e.g.) none of the characters crosses some sort of moral line where you question why they deserve to be together (Hello, Catra), it is not heavily handed garbage fishing for brownie points and it is obvious through dialogue and actions they care for each other, even if they are at first going through a bad break up as only South Park could ridiculously portray it.

Overall, the game is also surprisingly “inclusive” and socially relevant without being preachy about it, if you ask me. From the aforementioned skin color thing, to LGBT representation via Tweek and Craig, the police being involved in a plot that especially nowadays is sadly more relevant than ever (mind you, I do not believe that in real life all cops are bad, but in my opinion bad eggs on both sides certainly led to the current situation in the US and that is all I say) to the fact you can over the course of the game decide not just if you are playing as a boy or a girl, but even something in-between, a cis-/transgendered person and decide your race, religion as well as to whom you are sexually attracted to. Granted, I barely see how it has any bearing on the game’s plot, but I appreciate the following things: a) the inclusion of the possibility to decide on those factors itself, making creating your character even more fun (a basic right others demand for certain games nowadays in all the wrong ways) and b) that the game does not make the biggest of deals about it. See, I am under the impression that often times the most progressive and inclusive thing is to just let the story and personality of a character speak for itself, instead of the fact that it also identifies by a specific gender, sexuality, race or other allignment. In fact focusing on those things on a character only is something I consider ”positive stereotyping”, which for me is just racism in the opposite direction. And if you no think I am going off track here and need to be beaten up by someone who genuinely has some grip on pc culture, don’t worry. This game features PC Principal actually doing an ok job teaching you about microaggressions in his typical PC Principal manner, which in itself becomes a relevant move in future battles and is hilarious to watch. Speaking of the new kid, putting things like your chance to gender identify yourself with it in more detail (which you can also adjust again later on in game if you feel like it) aside, for a silent protagonist he/she/it can have a nice level of debt to it, if you look too much into it.

Not only does it have a funny backstory explaining its fart and social media powers, there are recurring scenes of the kid’s parents being on each others throat and the kid just silently eating dinner for the night that genuinely feel sad and create sympathy in our little FartLord to the point you just want the kid to go out there, have an adventure and hopefully find a way to change its parents for good, cause it is obvious they love the kiddo, but damn do they need to cut off the substance abuse.

Storywise you get something out of this game that is way more entertaining and hilarious than the last two seasons of the show combined (FUCK the season of 2019) and game content wise you are also rewarded with a lot of shit, just for exploring the town. Be it you finding hidden yaoi fanart that earns you money, your allies helping you solve puzzles that reward you with exp and new costumes to further customize your outfit, making new friends on Coonstagram by taking selfies with all the major and minor characters of the town, helping Big Gay Al finding his missing cats, stumbling upon Memberberries, forging new artifacts to increase your strength, finding summons… all stuff that helps you not just gain exp and become stronger, but also makes you enjoy going through South Park outside of the main story content. In fact I spend a majority of my first twelve hours in this game only wrapping up the prologue missions and first two chapter of the game, while otherwise talking with as many people in town as possible, exploring the stores and houses, doing side missions etc. just for the fun of interacting with the characters and the world they are part of.

Now, how does all of that relate to Dobson?

Well lets see…

Game based on something he hates that has however rightfully more success than he ever deserves, with lots of political commentary and satire for years in its humor? Check.

Game itself having more of that commentary done right then Dobson in his own comics and story attempts? Check

LGBT representation via Tweek and Craig as well as Big Gay Al that does not feel too stereotypical despite Al himself being extremely stereotypical in design? Check

Some pretty decent/hilarious female characters in the game once you know them? (again, Call Girl and Classi, who fucks the L out of the A-S-S) Check.

Being a style of game he hates for no apparent reason, but executed well (RPGs)? Check

Thematically focused on superheroes, a trend he is obsessed about, but here both appreciating while also poking good fun at common tropes of it and the marketing of the MCU, in doing so just highlighting how much of a mindless consumer Dobson is? Check

Being a game where you can also play as any gender and race and its not turned into a “groundbreaking” industry changing feature pandering to minorities that in the eyes of corporations are just a market to exploit, not people? Check

Heck, if Dobson was not a biased idiot, the game would be perfect for him. It even panders to his toilet fetish in videogames.

Kid you not: a mini game in the game itself features the possibility to go to every toilet in town and shit in it. The process of defecation itself being a rhythm game and you earning exp from it once you took enough dumps. And considering Dobson once spend hours in Skyrim looking for outhouses, that sounds right up Dobson’s back alley.

Bottom line, this game is fun. If you like South Park, superheroes and RPGs, this game is perfect for you. And seeing how it has been a few years since it came out, I think it should be possible to get a cheap copy of it somewhere. Go on, play it. But always remember: Never fart on another dude’s balls. It is just not the polite thing to do.

#so you are a cartoonist #Andrew Dobson #syac #south park #the fractured but whole #super heroes #rpg

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monkey-network · 4 years

Text

Who is Best Girl in Konosuba?

Welcome back, fellow weebs, to Media & Entertainment Developers Essentials Lessons Book. Today on MEDELB, we’re discussing the question that existed since one of the most disastrous years in the 21st century, 2017. A question that dives into one the greatest anime of all time. Yes, even better than Dragon Ball Z, Cowboy Bebop, and Steven Universe. I am talking about KonoSuba: God's Blessing on this Wonderful World! Today we’re discussing: who is best girl? Aqua? Darkness? Megumin? Your father?

Now it’s important to know that KonoSuba is genius because it supports judicial simplication, a professional term that I can break down for you. Judicational Sampling is the idea that a free society does not impinge on the actual taxing benefits of localized source banks. KonoSuba is genius because it made a lot of money... to make more KonoSuba. It is not Disney, whom is the greatest bottom in the Hollywood industry, but in truth I wouldn’t want it to be. Sometimes, genius is fine where it is and you shouldn’t question it. There are people who question why KonoSuba originated as a light novel, and those people are to be shunned because they also believe Harry Potter is worth reading, straight people are bad, and that ranch dressing is good on pizza. You know, the alt-right and we have enough problems on our hands as it is. And as the great Joe Biden once said,

But today’s focus will be on discussing on who is best girl and how that affects our society. And if you are one of the people unaware of this discussion, then perhaps you should realize that any comments you have contradict themselves and function as your self-righteous wannabe soapbox. In short, you’re acting like a su crit, so please read history. Because ultimately, I am a proud KonoSuba kinnie and member of the intellectual anime community founded by the General Rebecca Sugar. I would appreciate it if you would recognize the context and respect. It. Because ultimately again, I sent you all a respectful anon about this earlier today which you ignore and this sounds, smell, looks, feels, tastes... like Racism. But back to KonoSuba, let us discuss Megumin.

Now, Megumin is a good person. She can create explosions which are big.... explosions, this represents her pride. She wears red which is the color of your blood, so that could mean satanic blood pacts. Megumin represents the resolve in critical deductive intelligent smart reasoning where blind subservience has been... eradicated. But what is blind, subservience? For a simple understanding, think of it as the cooked Molotov of slice of life shows or some other perceptively anodyne prosaic internationalized statement.

Overall, Megumin is a short person so choosing her as best girl is pedophilia and if you try to tell me otherwise, you are a nazi troll and deserve the chamber. And if you agree with me, don’t speak if you’re Afro-American like myself. Because this is just a cartoon for kids and you’re complaining too much about it. Or am I?

Next, we have Darkness, which is a force parallel to light and is also used in the form of attacks in the Kingdom Hearts universe. Those who follow the path of Darkness will usually gain untold power at the expense of something of their former selves, so this naturally explains why she is an explicit masochist. Then again, her real name is Lalatina Dustiness Ford which explains a lot more. We continue asking who she is, and what she is, but nobody is asking how Darkness is. Because looking like the poster child for Aryan superiority with her blonde hair and blue eyes, she isn’t capable of being best girl because that would mean the guillotine for you and I love you too much to not let that happen. She is overall the better character for inventing good things like the dominatrix, but she cannot be best girl because she is a good character and supports capitalism. I too support capitalism but I hate people who think capitalism is alright, if that makes sense.

Aqua is a better contender for best girl because I was fortunate enough to see less porn of her. Kazuma notably has called her worthless, but Kazuma is what internet users would call an braincel. He played video games, so obviously he isn’t one to be speaking on value. Aqua was able to survive getting vored by a frog multiple times, so clearly she is more cunning than the average E-girl. Aqua is able to make the most of her situation and entertain people with watersports.... and tricks. Kingdoms Hearts wishes it had a character named Aqua as cool as this one, but then again, you’d have to wait 4 more years for KH4 so what life would you have? She is mostly blue, which is a color, and I prefer it when anime has color. If it doesn’t, it’s racist. As the wise Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez once said this last November,

This Disproves Objective Analysis.

She represents the element of the holy flood thesis joining the narrative tripling in subsequent disagreement that there any factual basis to the truth that Kazuma is wrong but because there’s simple authentic observation there is no objective truth. Plus she cries a lot, and if there’s anything I learned from Steven Universe, it’s that if you cry good enough, you can topple entire totalitarian empires. Except for General Rebecca Sugar, because she can smell your fear and absorb it accordingly. She is basically the Mother Teresa of animation. Again, great contender. But we have to consider the others so let’s move on.

Next, we have Wiz.

...

Next, we have Sylvia from their first and latest movie. It’s as they say, if it is new, it is better. I believe Sylvia is more than the sum of their parts, they are caring and charismatic and can turn into a powerful creature. None of the other characters can turn into a powerful creature, and that is why they possess internalized misogyny. The slimy veneer of quasi empiricism can be a very disgusting tool for nefariously slipping in one’s own rotten viewpoint or value. One that you know might otherwise be c̷h̵a̷l̸l̸e̴n̴g̴e̸d̴ ̵a̸s̴ ̸r̵i̷t̸u̵a̷l̵i̴s̵t̷i̴c̵a̷l̶l̵y̶ ̶s̷u̸p̸e̸r̶l̴a̷t̴i̶v̵e̸ ̵o̶r̸ ̷p̶e̵r̵h̷a̵p̵s̵ ̷y̵o̴u̸ ̸t̵h̴i̴n̸k̵ ̷t̴h̶a̶t̶ ̶w̷͍͍̠͉͚̦̦͛̔̓͗̏ā̵̛̬̜̂͋ṙ̸̨̐̌̈̅ ̸̦͔̣̮͔͋̊̑̕i̷̛͎̽̅́͑s̴̠̩̟̝͙̍̏̀͌̑̕ ̷͚͔̦̜̜͊̾̽͊͂j̸̡̨̣̙̮̓͘ų̵̣͚̹̱̐͌̎̑̈̎̆s̶̢͚̺͉̰͂̄̉̾͑ț̵̤̭͔̲̲̮̀͒̏̐̓ ̵̡̙̟̖͐́͋͝p̷̙̳̣̫͍̬͗̽͒̀e̸̻̯̽̆̇́͑͒a̵̡̞̣̫̫̯̰̿͛̅̄̅͂c̷̀͐̊͗͝ͅē̵̠͕̫̙ ̶̻̼̳͑̓̈́̿͐ŵ̷̼̝̣͇̞̞̺̍͋i̸̠͓̪̣̜͍̘͊͂̀̄t̸̟̣͉̼͑̒͜h̵̥̗̲̩̑̏́͜ ̵̡̠͉̝̾̆̌̇͐e̷̢̨̼̺͖̒̈́̃̃̆x̸̟̟͂́̄̍͛́̄t̴͖̣̼̫͇͐͋̆̽̎̚r̷͎̙̯͈͉̲̚a̵̩͎̥̺̮͂̀̃̚ ̸̠̜̣̥̜͍̠̌ṡ̴̢̡̐̽̅̃̇ͅt̴̖̣̹͙̙̼̟̔̐̚͝͝ĕ̵͔͍̤̼̂͌̐̑p̸̡̹̪̻͔̬͕̃̚s̸̫̙̈͛̉̋̉͝ ̶͔͚̽͝y̸̨̘͎̠͕̺̽̉̃o̶̜̥̺͔͑̏ͅu̵̓͜ ̴̨̦͉̀̊͊̓̌̃f̶̢̮̱̳̖̟̼̰͒̊̈͜i̸̯̼̫̩͚̇̉l̸̢̢̯̗̠̪̹͈͎͚̬̭̮̣̬̿̈́̍͘t̸̀́̍��͕͕̮̻̭̰̬͎̻̰̬̙̟h̷̡̡͎͙̘̩̞̤̰̳͖͙̺͈̅̓͆ͅy̴̡̢̳̤̮̘̻͚̲̪̳̭̗̙͈̽́̔̄̓͊̅̍̓͗͑̓̈̿͝,̵̛͙͚̒͐̍̅̓͗͌̕ ̷̢̡͚̮̜͚͈̖̥̳̹̦̙͈̄́́͛̈́̈́ͅt̸̛̼̯̯̠̰͓̩͍̺̊̽̔͂͑̕ë̵̢̖͕̰͕̜̹̰̫͙̣̩͈́͐͐̿̆̽͌̓̀͐̊̑̀̆͗̕͜ͅͅs̴̢̡̜̯̀͋͛͒͐̌̓̕t̸̠̳̱̙̃̓̽̈̔͗̏̋̓̈̏ ̷̧̧̤͉̦̲̜͔̫̤̯́̽͊̕̚t̸̘̲̼̜̱̿̿͑̽́̈́͋̔͘u̶͍̞̜͛͜b̸̛̯̙̼̜͙̏̓̄̽͆̏͘͝ẹ̷̛̉̑̂ ̵̡̡̞͓̱̤̞̫͛̎̆͘͝b̸̡̡̟̫̱́̔̓̋͗̃̊ǫ̶͍͕̼̥̳͕͖̥͈̼̳̎̒͋ͅŕ̶̢̨̧̛̞̝̰̠͍̥̓͛͗͛̃̏̂ņ̷͔̞̜̟̱̮͍͎̹̬̠̰̳̌͠͝,̸̙͕͓̟̥̜͛ ̶̛͓͊̉̑̍̀̿̽̅̓̂͝͝a̷̧͕͎̜̮̟͚̮̦̜̝̺̿̈́̍̀͂̔͝ņ̴̛̰̮̟̤̭̘̲̠̹̲̟̎̉͂̃̈́̅̂͒͑͠͝ͅͅṱ̶̛̥̘̬̖̳̤͈̟̫̻̘̻̅́̿̓͂̒͂̓̏̐̔̈́̊̊͜į̷̧̱͚̱͉̲̺̬͕̙̀̅̔̆-̷̫͈̳̩͔̠͕͖̹̲̓͊̂̅̈́̔̈́̔̍̎̒̇͌́̃͘͜͜S̶̘̻̱͖̗̠̩̥̝̺̻͕̪̯̊͒͆̽͐́̀͠͝ͅJ̸̨̝̲̬͕͈̘̞̠̱͖̮̒͑̈́̎̃̄̍̃̚͘̚͝ͅͅẂ̸̡̖͉̞͍̙̲͈͈̜̼̪̯̱͇͉̋́͋̎́͗̿̋̈́͂̈́̽̉̚ ̴̣͓̼̟̼̬̙̜͈̰̼̼̖̣̆̅̋̽̕͝͠C̷̙͉̭̜̭̞̝̲̳̰̊̓̃͝E̵̤̟̮͠N̵̨̢̼̱̺̭̦̟̳̪̻̘̿͛̀͜ͅT̸̹͚̆͆͐̊̀̏͑̓̈͝ͅR̸̛̮̲͇̼̻͇̹̙̞̤͎̗̾̊̈́͊͗̋͑̅̿̓̐̔̔͝͝ͅI̵̧̩͕̼̱͚͈̻͎̮̝̖̰̐̑͛̎̂̃̇̇̀̈́́̃̕͠S̶̞̘͔̈́̒̑͒́T!! But, Sylvia is dead, so as much as I wanted to consider, they can’t be best girl so we must move on.

Next we have Yunyun. It is said that she “forms a rivalry with Megumin as an excuse to create a friendship.” Now we could call her a beta cuckquean, but that would imply you have a life outside a human being. As our current president once said,

I’m never a Trump supporter myself, but this is wisdom I can kinda get behind regardless. Sure he ghost wrote this, but not all wisdom comes from the mouth. However, Yunyun represents the normalcy of KonoSuba, and as such could be a nice change of pace for those too dependent on the definitive waifu. She has big jiggly boobs, sure, but have you ever considered that her boobs have, personality? A lot of otakus and bronies have not been understanding this as of late, as I feel we’ve overlooked something far more important: Tactile anime feel. We can stare at breasts all we wish, but how realistic are her proportions? You can say it’s fiction all you want, and you’d be right, but if I’m envious that the fiction women have better boobs than mine, my opinion is now better than yours. What I’m getting at is that Yunyun is like a ghost, you try to find her, you search for them, and you look for them, and you try to find them, but you can’t find them, thus they are empty handed.

The last contender is Kazuma, who is the villain of KonoSuba because he doesn’t act like the typical isekai protagonist. He isn’t like Kirito from SAO who was almost involved in incest or Sonic the Hedgehog who believed stalking people is okay as long as you’re alone. As Luigi Mario once said, “It is common, but not too common.” He spits in the face of a critically stupid people because he believes in true gender equality. Those who don’t believe in this philosophy are mostly women, and that’s okay. He must clearly be best girl because he is asserted with the phrase “Give and take”. Most people complain about 11 hour Youtube videos, but they can hardly spend three hours overthrowing their bastardizing governments. Which is why Ligma is not running in the 2020 presidential election, because you keep putting your time in the wrong cubby hole. KonoSuba is a complicated anime, and Kazuma is the crux of that complication. So the sooner you can understand Kazuma, the more you’ll understand KonoSuba; that is why he’s considerably best girl. Otherwise, go play World of Warcraft like the mainstream loving psuedo-intellectual toesucking simp that you are.

To conclude, KonoSuba has a lot to think about for a smart people. Choosing best girl is not about finding your interest, it’s about avoiding callout culture because you have shit taste. If there’s enough controversy, I avoid it unless it can benefit me in the long and short term. Clearly Aqua is the choice for when you yourself have little to prove, Yunyun understandably for when you have nothing to gain, Kazuma for when you want to feel better about yourself. In any case, if you are not horny on main, you are probably the reason Trump got elected because you are yourself sexually fascistic. Sorry, I don’t make the rules and ergo this post was never made for you. Real, in-depth nitty gritty perspective, prescriptive criteria for denationalization context barriers are still alive on the internet. Ultimately, we must decide on whether or not this was all worth it. Simplicity is hard to strive for, but that is why people only use five percent of another’s argument. Or else we’re fans of the She-ra reboot, always over-complicating the idea that kinship will save the day in the end and thinking the creator didn’t copy the great works of famous Shark Tale actor Martin Scorsese. You know? Tankies. I myself have made a long post expressing this complicated issue, but then again, I am a chronophobe. I fear time and I would appreciate if you wouldn’t timeshame me, you potential ablest. So in truth, you choose who is best girl because you are valid. Not more than I but still.

Thank you for reading my post. If you liked this essay, please comment. It’s free. If you liked my paypal, please donate. It’s free. Sharing this would be highly appreciated. It’s free. Dollar Dash Share is offering a free shaving earbud for the first ten sign ups when you use the promo code, ‘MNKY’. Make sure to try out their Curiosity streaming service and use the 5000 silver to unlock new warriors or maps. Thank you for reading............ KonoSuba.

#konosuba #satou kazuma #megumin #aqua #darkness #yunyun #sylvia #wiz #anime #long post #analysis #april fools #april fools 2020

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fvckvalenciano · 4 years

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introducing benji !!

[ FROY GUTIERREZ // 20 // CIS MALE // HE/HIM // MUSE J ] can you believe BENJAMIN ‘BENJI’ VALENCIANO is apart of the stellar world tour? the industry has dubbed him THE CHARLATAN and he has quite the reputation. sources say he is [ ENGAGING ] and [ ASSERTIVE ], but can also be [ VINDICTIVE ] and [ QUICK-TEMPERED ]. however, he is best described by the song [ SUPER RICH KIDS ] by [ FRANK OCEAN ]. i can’t to see what the stellar world tour has in store for him.

bio & pinterest

hi hi !! i'm sure you guys will recognize this as a reoccuring theme sooner rather than later, but i have absolutely no idea what i'm doing at any given moment, so i'm just gonna dive into a quick introduction to benji and hope for the best ! if you are interested in some slightly more organized thoughts i would recommend taking a look at his bio ( which i just fixed the link for because i'm dumb and it was broken this whole time haha, so let me know if there are any problems! ) & i hope you guys enjoy :)

okay so benjamin is born in greenwich, connnecticut, a town famous almost exclusively for housing some of the wealthiest families in america and not much else. his moms are both lawyers, cutthroat defense attorneys that pay for the family's summers in europe and vacation homes down south with somebody's elses blood money. he's an only child, and their scrutiny is merciless as it curates an envy for the anonymity of the shadows. their expectations pile too high in his throat, and he fears the day he chokes and lets them down, for it is inevietable. but he knows they'll do anything to get him across that finish line, walking across the stage at a prestigous law school he couldn’t care less about, which in an odd way is more terryifying than it is comforting.

music is not something that even crosses his mind until much later in life. it was never an option, still isn't, so he decides early that it is not worth the energy of entertaining, even as he finds peace only when the music is loud enough to drown out everything else. he is desperate to mold himself into somebody worth his mothers' undying affections, not just charades and party tricks. but they are patient with him nonetheless, smiles tight and forgiving through it all, and his stomach turns more often than not with the way pity flashes in a matching set of cool eyes, lightning-quick.

benji is created in just sixteen hours and thirty-seven minutes, an accident. it's a textbook definition of overnight fame, a shoddy youtube video gaining far more traction than it was ever meant to. he's nineteen and only in his second semester at college, and music was never the plan, but neither was law school, really. it's a headache, dizzying to imagine taking a life where he steps outside of his family's hold, and he is forced to make a real decision for the first time in his life. so he does.

in the same breath that he signs a contract with the label, they are prying his music from his fingers, the lyrics of missing a life that was never his to begin with are lifted away and delivered to somebody that looks more the part of soft and remoreseful. ( cue lincoln entering stage left, hello bb ) rather, he’s fitted with quick and aggressive lines, still technically his words but molded in a way that don’t fit right in his mouth. they tell him it fits his image better, and doesn’t he want to be famous? the worst part is that it works, his fans eat it up, and demand more, more, more. anger thrums beneath his skin, obvious even as he shoves it down like always, but any pr agent could spot it from a mile away, and they tell him to use that instead. he is familiar with the use of disguises, years of sneaking around in his own home make excellent practice, but it leaves a bad taste in his mouth all the same. nobody has ever allowed him the vice of anger before, though. he knows a lifeline when he sees one, and he runs with it. benji realizes all too late that this is not the freedom he thought he would be granted, realizes he should have known better, that he let himself get passed over from his mothers’ iron grasp to the label’s. he decides he prefers the way disappointing others lasts longer and feels better than chasing approval, and lets this time be different.

[ H E A D C A N O N S ]

( i know this is all dramatic backstory so far lmao, let me introduce you to who this dumb asshole really is )

more than anything else, benji is all bark with no bite. he’ll curse you out for accidentally waking him up at 7:30 instead of 8:00, and hold the grudge for hours with icy stares and glorified pouting, like he’s got a personal vendetta for making himself miserable. he’s often a bit standoffish, distant in the apathetic way that you could cry on his shoulder for hours and still not hear a word out of him, look over and he’ll offer a placating grin and a shrug. he tells the truth to a fault, blunt and unforgiving and too impatient to waste time playing games with lies and faux-affection. even with all his own bouts of irritability, the kid is an absolute idiot when it comes to reading people and understanding social cues and he’s often left blind-sided when people are pissed at him without explicitly spelling it out. still, he doesn’t hold any actual distaste for anybody on the tour, floating between groups based on whoever’s personality suits him better that day, unless they are the ones to escalate the matter, in which case, good luck charlie. forgive-and-forget isn’t really in his vocabulary. once he makes a decision, it’s near impossible to get him to change his mind.

when he wants to be, or if you’ve entertained his interests in one way or another, he warms up and and indulges you with his internal monologue ( your chances are better if there’s a camera around, he doesn’t often bother wasting the energy otherwise, but still ) actually, it is not as hard as it sounds to gain his favor. crack a dumb joke about pr or offer him half a snickers bar and you’ve already got a foot in the door, baby. he reveals his friendship in odd ways — sarcastic comments and random compliments, nonchalant and declared like fact rather than opinion.

the real shortcut into his brain is alcohol. flash forward to like 11pm on any given day and the asshole is chugging fireball like it’s the first sip of water he’s had after years of dehydration, suddenly all bright grins and loud laughs, eager to collect drinking buddies like playing cards. it’s a harsh juxtaposition, from brooding and fabricated to giggling and tipsy, and his tolerance isn’t nearly as high as he likes to pretend it is, so he’s drunk off his ass and acting a fool more often than not. he’ll trade secrets easily, charming and tongue loose in a way that it never is when he’s sober. ( don’t even get me started with the amount of people he hooks up with, oh boy ) drunk benji’s a real headache for the crew, considering he’s not of drinking age yet in america and he’s got a rigid mask to maintain in order to keep up his charades and remain relevant. he refuses to be ashamed of it, though, and he’s adamant to make things difficult for them, relishing instead in impulsive decisions he never got the chance to make for most of his life. long story short, in a pinch, buy him a handle and he’ll probably like you.

when i say benji will try anything once, i mean it seriously, offer him literally anything and odds are that he’ll say yes. it’s kind of ridiculous. his self-destructive streak is always up for a good time, wink wink ( this doesn’t just mean drugs or anything, like dare him to eat an entire jar of nutella in under 10 minutes? where’s the spoon )

unfortunately he’s a stereotypical rich kid through and through, and he’s got the nicotine addiction to show for it. he won’t even smoke cigarettes out of the principle of the thing ( unless he’s blackout drunk, in which case, oh boy, watch your pockets ) but he’s got at least two juuls on him at any given moment. nobody knows how he manages it, but he’s got an extensive supply of the mango flavored pods even though they’re banned, because they’re the only ones he’ll use. he’s got lots of connections, and the fact that he uses them for this pretty much sums up his entire personality.

you would think that benji, with his reformed rich kid attitude and all his burning anger and sarcastic eye-rolling, would only drink expensive coffee, black and strong, right? no. he’ll walk up to any barista, pissed just to be awake before noon and gaze as hard and cold as hell itself frozen over, and order himself a frozen caramel frappuccino with extra whipped cream and extra caramel drizzle on top, deadpan and monotone. to add insult to injury, he’ll chase it by shotgunning a can of redbull, living off of unhealthy amounts of caffeine to have enough energy to deal with the others at all times. it’s ridiculous.

he’s grudgingly okay with the fact that his social media accounts have been sacrificed for his image, wiped clean and shaped into the public figure he is today. however, he guards his spotify account with his life, keeping it private and refusing to monitor this aspect of his life. his music taste is everything to him, and while he’s willing to plaster songs he’s never listened to all over his instagram story, his spotify is an extension of him, and he fights like a dog to keep it that way.

last but not least, benji’s fashion is atrocious. really, for the greater good nobody should let him dress himself, ever, and they usually don’t. he’s got quite the bad reputation amongst the stylists, infamous for scowling at the high-fashion look they want to stuff him in, refusing to hear reason to the fact that he has to wear makeup to the red carpet. whenever he knows beyond a doubt that no cameras will be waved in front of his eyes, he practically lives in sweats like it’s his religion, paired with genuinely whichever shirt he first lays eyes on. ( listen, he grew up filthy rich and just bought his first pair of sweatpants when he went to college, let him indulge bb ) some members will swear up and down to the fact that they saw him walk around in mysteriously stained sweatpants and a stolen back-up dancer’s skin tight, hot pink mesh crop top for a full hour into rehearsal before he woke up enough to realize his mistake. he’ll bite your head off for even bringing it up, but glance down and double-check what he’s wearing just in case.

oh wait also he’s dyslexic. words blur together in a way that makes writing lyrics a bitch, and just one song take him weeks to finish. it makes the sting of having them ripped away even worse. ( also i get to spell things wrong in the group chat and it’s in character lmao )

#introstellar #im on mobile idk how this looks ill fix it later #also sorry this got long lol

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queenmercurys · 5 years

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So, I usually refrain from expressing too many “problematic” opinions on this platform mainly because I don’t wanna deal with anon hate. I’ve done so in the past and it’s never been fun. But since I’ve been talking my friends’ ears off about Disney recently, I thought I would give it a go here. Yes, in the safety of the “read more”-button, because overall, my opinion doesn’t matter and I don’t wanna force it on anyone.

Let’s cut to the chase. I kind of hate Disney. Don’t get me wrong, I watch Disney films and I occasionally reblog some Disney stuff. I think some of their earlier things, from The Hunchback of Notre Dame to Atlantis, are truly enjoyable films. But I’ve never been into the whole Marvel phenomenon. I don’t care about superhero movies, and the way Marvel is insistent upon franchising everything and essentially making every film a cliffhanger for another cliffhanger film, just makes the whole sub-genre less appealing to me. I’m not exactly an action film fan as it is, and when it’s done in such a chaotic way as the Marvel films tend to be, I’m even less convinced. I’m not saying every Marvel film has to be a John Wick in the quality of action, but... one of them could be, no? As for Star Wars, well, it is my personal opinion that Disney has thoroughly ruined the franchise, to the point that I actually prefer the prequels. Maybe they were messy, badly acted and boring, but at least they felt like films - rather than products made for a cash grab.

As for their other products, well, I like Tangled. Moana is passable. Frozen is fine (but only fine). But none of these animated films have touched me in ways that, for example, The Swan Princess, The Prince of Egypt and Quest for Camelot have. Ever since I was a child, I’ve preferred non-Disney animated films without even realizing it. Maybe it’s because to me, the non-Disney films just tackle more complicated, fascinating stories that rely less on the chance to make merchandise and more on the opportunity to make good content. I have often heard the term of something being “too Disney”. Which, basically, kinda means that a film is just too family-friendly when it really doesn’t have to be. And that is probably something missing from the non-Disney examples I just gave. Admittedly, all of these films are from the 90′s, and I’m sure Dreamworks and co. have now fallen into the same cash-grab trap that Disney is currently sitting in. But nevertheless, I still consider most non-Disney animated films to be superior to their Disney counterparts. Part of it is definitely my annoying habit of disliking something that is too popular simply because it is popular - but I don’t think that’s the whole story. And my dislike of Disney has only grown over the years, to the point that I’m considering boycotting the company entirely. And here’s a few of the biggest reasons why:

Disney+. Yes, every company has the right to try to make money, and they should. But I think Disney+ will only mean the death of other streaming services, and eventually, the death of diversity and creative freedom in the film and TV industry. I prefer Netflix over anything Disney has ever spat out, and while I recognize its flaws, I hope that it will not get overshadowed by Disney+. But who are we kidding? It will. Especially in America, Disney is this sacred thing that nothing can defeat. Disney’s mediocre films (such as Frozen and Marvel movies) are praised as gifts from God, and everything else is either compared to Disney products, or discarded because of Disney. From everything I have read and watched, Disney+ is going to be a real threat to all of its contemporaries. It’s going to be cheaper than Netflix and others, and it’s going to have the products the masses adore (again, namely Marvel). Netflix will lose customers, and Disney+ will gain them. This will most likely make it difficult for Netflix to make new original content, and will most likely also affect movie theatres. Because if Disney+ continues their trend of releasing films on the platform rather than in theatres, well, what choice do Disney fans have but to join the service? And in the end, we’ll be left with nothing but films and shows that are so lifeless, or old classics we know from beginning to end. And neither one of these options encourage anything new.

This brings me to my second point, which is the lack of creativity and new ideas. You only have to look as far as the Disney liveaction remakes to see that they don’t care if they give you new, quality entertainment. All they care about is getting your money. And again, I am also at fault here. I liked Cinderella just fine. I loved the new Aladdin. I paid to go see those films. I gave Disney my money and thus, encouraged them to make new liveaction remakes. So, I can’t really criticize much when I’m also the offending party here. But still. Remaking every single classic Disney film? That is just exploiting nostalgia to the point that it’s becoming absurd. And all this does is stop Disney from working on new, interesting films that don’t exist in an already established franchise, or aren’t direct remakes. It’s not like Disney doesn’t have the money to take risks. It just refuses to, because why take risks when you can make easy money? And make no mistake. Aladdin 2019 was easy money. Frozen 2 was easy money. And however nice these products are, it does show in the end result. The stories are recycled, and feel kind of lifeless. The fact that people are comparing The Rise of Skywalker to Avengers Endgame only proves that Disney is not only recycling its’ own ideas, but that it’s stripping the directors and writers involved of their creative freedom. I’ve read stuff about how much JJ Abrams had to change in The Rise of Skywalker to accommodate Disney, and it’s actually pretty scary. What the hell is even the point of trying to tell original stories if Mickey Mouse is just gonna come and tell you to rewrite everything you’ve worked on? Disney is perhaps the most obnoxious and money-hungry company I have ever heard of in my life, and that’s saying a lot when there’s companies like Amazon and Apple around.

My third and final point is the fact that Disney owns, or is on its’ way to owning, everything. Absolutely everything. Star Wars. 20th Century Fox. You name it. Almost everything in the film industry at this point is Disney. And that sucks. It sucks so much. I can’t put it any other way. It terrifies me that Disney is in charge of so much of the content we are given. Because, let’s face it. Disney is not the most risk-taking company (at least not anymore), and certainly not the most diversity-encouraging one. People of color, LGBTQ+ characters, you name it - all of the representation in film and TV will most certainly lessen even more once Disney has its’ claws in everything. Disney only represents minorities when it serves them, and when they know they’ll get money off of it. Like that lesbian kiss at the end of Rise of Skywalker? I didn’t even fucking spot it when I watched the film! That is not representation. Having a token black character (who is completely wasted in the case of Finn in Star Wars) is not enough representation. Disney is a coward, and has been for a long time. All Disney cares about is profit, and that’s it. That’s 100000% it. And I’m not saying that other companies are much better. Of course Netflix wants your money. Of course HBO wants you to hand over your credit card info. But at least the content we receive from those companies varies. Not everything Netflix produces is another Stranger Things. HBO has done things that vary from Game of Thrones. But Disney (in recent years)? Remakes. Sequels. Rebooting a known franchise. It’s all been done before. And I’m scared that, say, ten years from now, every single action film will have the protagonist say a variation of “I am Iron Man” before doing their own variation of snapping their fingers. And, in my very non-expert, very non-educated opinion, that would suck.

By the way, it goes without saying, but all of this is just MY opinion. If you love Disney+, if you love Marvel, that’s amazing. I am so happy for you. This is a really good time for you. I’m nothing but a pretentious dick who is complaining about what is essentially just harmless fun. Just wanted to make that clear.

#i kind of needed to put this into words #the current state of the film industry terrifies me #rip creativity i guess #my ramblings

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mariellawinters · 6 years

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HOLA ! i’m frankie , 22 years old , residing in the central time zone , and go by the female pronouns . i’m SO thrilled to be a part of this group ! i don’t know what else to say except for the fact that i haven’t roleplayed in about 4 months , so i apologize in advance for being rather slow in the process . however , i’ll try my very best to share as many details with you about my girl , MARIËLLA , as possible . ( i would’ve had a statistics page ready but didn’t expect the rp to open suddenly , so i tried my best to give as much info & perhaps a bit too much lol but please plot with me/mariëlla ; also , thanks for reading ! ) . ♡

･:*:･ﾟ☆ ( jessica chastain. forty two. cisfemale. she/her. ) ↷ ( mariëlla t. winters ) has been spotted by the paparazzi in los angeles. they are an ( a ) list celebrity known for their career as an ( actress ). they’re known by their fans to be ( easygoing, meticulous & zealous ) but the tabloids frequently portray them to be ( anxious, enigmatic, & introverted ). i wish them every success in the entertainment industry. ･:*:･ﾟ☆

full name: mariëlla tatiana winters

nickname(s): mari, maya, ella

age: forty-two ( 42 ) .

birthdate: november 25th, 1975 .

sexual orientation: bisexual .

occupation: actress / film producer / writer .

mariëlla was born to dutch-american parents, and raised, in washington, d.c. winters didn’t come from a privileged, wealthy family. her parents, constantin & thea, traveled and practically chose to live their new life in america and to start a family. in the years to come, her older brother, mariëlla, and their younger sister/daughter were born and they couldn't have been more delighted with their family of five.

she grew to have become very family-oriented because of her family, and extended family in the netherlands / holland. which included traveling to visit them during the holidays, or every chance they could possibly get to do so if and whenever they had the money. her parents were hard-working, hence rarely having the chance to travel to europe and could only send 1, or two, of their children to stay with their relatives. but they wouldn't have changed it for anything else as long as they knew their dutch heritage, and they worked hard for almost just that.

although having hard-working parents, they both dedicated one hundred % of their time for family whenever they weren’t working. they raised / taught their children by acknowledging humility, recognizing their own weaknesses, & that it was okay to be the best that they can be — as well as having the FREEDOM of deciding who they wanted to be, the path they wanted to take; old enough to make their own decisions as a legal adult, basically. * which is how mariëlla chose to raise her kids and thanks her parents for setting an example when she was growing up; passing it on as a mom herself, hoping that it works out smoothly and parenting as best she can.

when she was in middle & high school, she gained a keen interest in acting because of the plays, musicals, and whatnot. the more she got herself involved in them and at a local theater, the reason she instantly made her decision of becoming an ACTRESS became clearer. she set her mind to it, looking forward to the day she’d graduate and study film & drama at the univeristy of south california in los angeles. if anyone asked personally, it was the best decision she ever made; she would completely agree and tell you herself with pride and joy.

she always tried her best, and somehow, did explicitly well in school because she forced herself. even if she wasn’t too bad of a student, mariëlla struggled/stressed out easily, as she tends to be somewhat of a perfectionist still & almost everything had to be organized and in order. fast forward to 4 years later & as a ucla graduate; ëlla has graduated as a student that was given opportunities to act onscreen when she was in school studying. as weirdly as it might sound, taking into consideration mariëlla’s chosen profession, is incredibly meticulous when it comes to auditioning for a role and be given the job for said character.

she spends a lot of her time and energy by supporting a lot of what she believes in and whatnot. she is quite often a zealous worker for charity and brings attention to causes, et cetera. i find it better to describe as a passionate artist/actress but most importantly: a human being with a lot of compassion towards the less fortunate and will likely pay for something rather expensive— i.e. an engagement ring for a couple, anonymously ( what paul w*lker did for a couple without revealing his identity; true story ) . mariëlla does show a very unselfish concern for the well-being of others & it’s obvious; altruistic; even if people don’t like it or might think it’s invasive. that is never her intention; will know when to back off though. but does genuinely care a lot about others; is someone that puts the needs of another person before her own without questioning it. all in all, an easygoing humanitarian and philanthropist.

people might think it’s a bit concerning, but she can be quite stubborn as well when it comes to certain things. she means well though. don’t mind her sometimes. unless it’s for her own good or regarding anything job-wise. over the years, she has become very anxious. she believes it’s because of all the stress and the overwhelming, hectic schedule of tour promotions and whatnot. she’s committed to them but by popping a little pill called xanax. she can control her anxiety but there are days when she cannot and it’s not pretty. hence why she is her - introverted - self at times, but in the public eye is seen as an enigmatic soul. she has her reasons.

the only reason why she is hard to interpret in the public eye, especially the media, is because she only wants her close family and friends to know who she truly is behind closed doors. she could care less about the rumors that are being said about her, but it won’t mean that her anxiety won’t get to the best of her. it’ll eat ëlla up alive but will not make that obvious, of course, as she perseveres through her struggle with anxiety. it’s a bitch.

genuinely believes in “money doesn’t buy happiness.” as an a-list celebrity, she has a difficult time understanding it and ends up contemplating if it’s all really worth it ..... if she deserves the success she’s had throughout her career ? don’t get mariëlla wrong but is sometimes self-critical of herself and will not allow any special treatment. she’s an odd one but grateful at the same time. this messy business can be quite fickle and doesn’t want to disappoint anyone with her performances.

ever since she became a mom, mari grew to being quite nurturing. growing up she’d be the type of person to lean away when being hugged and avoid friendly kisses but as time passed on, she grew out of that. the love she has for her kids, she has a big heart and loves the heck out of anybody that would show her any affection, because she will definitely give it in return to anyone that needs it.

she won’t consider taking anyone’s “ side ” whenever it gets to that chance/point in time— neutral— like, she is on the fence about/doesn’t know a lot about politics and religion. she will sometimes avoid conversing of such but is open to talking. she is not that close-minded and hopes to not seem that way. either way, she isn’t very judgy and will only give out advice; straightforward and honest opinions if asked.

prefers to give rather than receive, although she’s grateful for such intentions and will gladly keep whatever present is given. she is NOT materialistic but loves doing some shopping often; controls herself by setting a budget on how much she could possibly spend and save. yes, that’s how organized she is. her inner monica geller but not to the extent, of course. she thinks she gives the best whatever gift she finds and won’t brag about having the money either. enjoys the holidays ….. — - this was supposed be an attempt at writing a couple of headcanons, but i’ve obviously failed ? yikes ! i’m just babbling at this point because i wanna get this posted. and it’s posted now.

this turned out to be a HUGE mess but i hope this introduction helps to plot. please like this post, or hmu if you’d be interested in plotting something out or anything. again, thanks for reading ! i know it’s a bit rambly but i’ve tried. i do have a lot of muse, don’t get me wrong. its been too long, honestly. i’ll message and read all of your intros. pretty much catch up with the ones that have been posted since i’ve been gone.

#fames.intro #𝙃𝙀𝙇𝙇𝙊 !!!#—— ; why tf did this take me SO LONG though ?!#*𝖼𝗋𝗂𝖾𝗌* 𝗂 𝖽𝗂𝖽𝗇'𝗍 𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗇 𝗀𝖾𝗍 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖼𝗁𝖺𝗇𝖼𝖾 𝗍𝗈 𝖼𝗁𝖺𝗇𝗀𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗎𝗋𝗅 𝗐𝗁𝖾𝗇 𝗂 𝗁𝖺𝖽 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖼𝗁𝖺𝗇𝖼𝖾 #anxiety tw #I DID IT !! i did the thing in time !!#phew !!#and it turned out long ....

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fashiontrendin-blog · 6 years

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Kieran Culkin's Shirt Is Off

https://fashion-trendin.com/kieran-culkins-shirt-is-off/

Kieran Culkin's Shirt Is Off

When Kieran Culkin first started reading the script for “Succession,” he wondered whether it had been sent to the wrong person. The HBO powers that be originally thought he’d be a good fit for the character of Greg, a bumbling nitwit who gets high in his first scene and spends the rest of the first season failing to sidle his way up the ladder of a massive media and entertainment conglomerate owned by his great-uncle, Logan Roy.

Almost from Greg’s first line, Culkin knew he was wrong for the part. “He’s already a lot younger than I am, and just the voice ― I was, like, this is not me. I am not right for this.”

When I met Culkin at a small restaurant in the Noho neighborhood of Manhattan last Monday, it was just as clear to me as it was to him that he’s too old to play a character like Greg. But something in the Roy family’s dark saga held Culkin’s attention anyway. He said he kept reading the script, which follows the foibles of the billionaire Roy clan as its individual members vie for power within. A few pages later, Logan’s overconfident third son, Roman, appears, led into a meeting by a man hired explicitly to burn sage.

“Hey, hey, motherfuckers!” Roman proclaims to a room full of his father’s business associates.

“And I was, like, ‘Oh, who’s this fucking guy?’” Culkin said.

Culkin eventually got the part of Roman, an incompetent and lazy man-child who believes he wholly deserves the title of chief operating officer, even though he has little interest in doing any of the work that comes with it. Among the many nefarious faces that make up Logan’s Waystar Royco empire, Roman stands out as perhaps its most cynical ― a ratings-obsessed media executive motivated solely by profit. At one point, in his interpretation of corporate disruption, he takes off his shirt in a meeting, flexing and joyfully screaming “Blood!” at the thought of layoffs. During another, he gleefully tells his sister about a new viral video that is “evidence of precisely the kind of disgusting, liberal, metro butt-love that makes our viewership angry enough to buy pharmaceuticals.” To Roman, nothing could be better.

Culkin can’t say exactly what drew him to the morally depraved heir, described by his father as a “moron” and his brother as a “walking fucking lawsuit.” But it’s not hard to imagine some small part of Culkin was intrigued by the idea of playing such a sneering member of a media empire.

After all, Culkin’s distaste for the tabloid industry is beyond well-established. (“No matter what’s written there, it’s a total lie, even the person’s name, lie, lie, lie, lie, everything’s a lie,” he once told New York Magazine.)

But let’s not lump Culkin into that hyperpartisan Level 10 “FAKE NEWS” category of 2018 American paranoia. Mostly because when he told me “Now it’s a thing, ‘fake news,’” and I said, jokingly, “Fake news. You’re a believer,” he got nervous and pushed out a quick “no,” immediately realizing the millions of different ways such a quote could be aggregated, recirculated, quoted out of context and otherwise misinterpreted. You can almost see it now, can’t you? “Kieran Culkin Joins the Chorus: Media Is ‘Fake News.’”

Culkin’s distrust is of a more justifiable form, born out of a lifetime of his surname showing up in headline-grabbing tabloid fodder. From the moment his parents, Kit “The father from hell” Culkin and Patricia Brentrup, entered into an ugly, obsessively covered custody battle to when the National Enquirer proclaimed his eternally famous brother, Macaulay, had “6 Months to Live” in 2012 (he’s still alive), Culkin’s last name has served as a way to move and make paper ― the most intimate moments of his life repackaged as factually questionable entertainment content to sell ads against.

Ron Galella via Getty Images

Macaulay and Kieran Culkin at the fifth annual American Comedy Awards back in 1991, just months after the release of the blockbuster hit “Home Alone.”

“There are things that are out there in the world as fact because it was written in print that are just completely false. My brother did not divorce his parents. They did not fight over his money,” he said. “But that’s out in the world as fact.

“I learned at a very young age to be, like, ‘Oh, I get it: It’s bullshit,’ shit that’s written in print.”

In person, Culkin ticks most of the boxes of adulthood: In his 30s. Takes his coffee black. Enjoys talking about his favorite East Village dives. Married five years. Nice watch. Clothes that fit. Hair slicked around his head just so. Like Roman, Culkin drops a “fuck” or “shit” every ninth word or so, as when he said to me, “Hold on, I’m going to eat the fuck out of these pickles. You say something for a minute, ’cause I’ve got a mouth full of shit.”

But no matter how many fucks he lets out ― and by my count, he let out around 25 over 40 minutes ― Culkin remains stuck with a membership to the official Former Child Actors club. Macaulay, or Mac, if you’re in the know, was always the main draw ― history’s most famous kid actor without a drink named after him. But Kieran was there too, in “Home Alone” and “Home Alone 2.” He found himself on the stage of “Saturday Night Live” before the age of 10, and schmoozed with Jay Leno on “The Tonight Show” before his voice dropped.

Which is probably why ― and here I’m guessing ― Culkin might have been a bit annoyed when HBO suggested he audition for Greg.

But after 10 episodes of watching Culkin-as-Roman take part in his family’s imperious game of human chess, it’s hard to imagine the actor playing anyone else. If Jeremy Strong ― who plays Kendall, Logan’s cocaine-addicted second son ― is the show’s tragic star, Culkin is its nervous energy. There’s something in the way he pushes out a phrase like “What a pathetic beta cuck,” or belittles doctors and waiters alike.

What sealed Culkin’s interest in his character came in the first episode during a family softball game, when Roman points to a kid on the sidelines, the son of the site’s groundskeeper. Everyone grows quiet as Roman whips out his checkbook and starts writing a check for $1 million. Hit a home run in their game, Roman tells the boy, and the money is his. For the child and his family, it’s a potentially life-changing moment. For Roman, the child is nothing but a momentary subhuman toy to mess with and cast aside. After the child is tagged out at home, Roman can’t control his laughter. “I’m sorry, I can’t give it to you,” he says as he tears up the check. It is a degrading, truly awful moment of television.

“Oh, I get it,” Culkin remembered thinking, “he’s a fuck face.”

When Culkin filmed the scene, he embodied evil, letting out a cackle so cruel it sets the show’s moral compass for the remaining season. Culkin himself is not sure where his ability to play somebody like that came from.

“Being able to connect to some degree, not in a positive way, with these characters is odd to me because I don’t know the multimillionaires, I don’t know the super-rich, yet I know assholes like that,” he said. “I can’t even quite specifically pick out who I know that is exactly like that, but it’s weird that you can still, for me, relate.”

“Succession” suffered from a slow start, only truly hitting its stride around Episode 6, when Kendall leads the board in a tense vote of no confidence against Logan, who’s recently suffered a stroke, unleashing a sequence of events within the Roy family that are both comical and horrifying.

Culkin owns up to that. “The first three episodes to me, it’s not like they’re unwatchable,” he said, “but it’s not quite the show yet.”

Which, according to him, is fine. Some shows don’t grab you on first watch, and one in particular in his opinion: “I probably shouldn’t even say this on record. The example I have is actually [the British comedy] ‘Peep Show,’” which was coincidentally also developed by “Succession” creator Jesse Armstrong.

But the first season of “Succession” gained enough momentum before concluding Sunday evening for HBO to pick it up for another season ― making this the first time Culkin has ever been part of a television show that made it to Season 2, according to his IMDB page, a small victory in his more than two decades on-screen.

Culkin’s most acclaimed role came in 2002, when he earned a Golden Globe nomination for his role in “Igby Goes Down.” But that time the victory led to a full-blown existential crisis.

United Artists via Getty Images

Claire Danes and Kieran Culkin talk at a coffee shop for a scene from “Igby Goes Down.” Culkin entered an existential crisis after the film and took a breaking from acting.

“[I] found myself at the age of 20 with a career I never chose, [and I] freaked out,” Culkin said. “I think everybody around that age has some sort of crisis. Usually, it’s like a straight-up ‘Oh, I don’t know what I want to do.’ Mine is, ‘I don’t know what I want to do with my life, yet here I am doing it.’”

Culkin took a break before eventually returning to acting, mostly because he wasn’t sure what else to do. “I was just sort of doing it in the meantime,” he says now. He took parts in movies like “Lymelife” and “Scott Pilgrim vs. the World.” Did two episodes of “Fargo.” Performed multiple versions of a stage play he loved, Kenneth Lonergan’s “This Is Our Youth.” In 2014, he was still apprehensive. “I often think about getting out of this job, but I’m terrified that there’s nothing else,” he told The Daily Beast.

Since then, Culkin said, something clicked. He remembered coming home from work one day and thinking, “Oh, I think I’m actually enjoying this.”

“I think I know what I want to do now,” he said to himself. “I think I should do this.”

Now deep into his 30s, Culkin has established himself as a stronger and more serious actor than the “essentially retired” Macaulay ever did. And in Roman, Culkin has stumbled upon something as special as it is sinister. TV Guide described Roman as “the very definition of the hate-f―k,” but he’s probably more accurately categorized as sexual overcompensation personified. He tells his brother that his “face is drowning in pussy,” despite the fact that his various partners claim he rarely wants to have sex. He masturbates to his office view of New York City while a string of emails piles up behind him. (“It’s to gain some sort of control,” Culkin surmised.)

More interesting than his sex life, though, is Roman’s complex relationship with his manipulative and emotionally abusive father. While most people want to prove their competence to the people around them, “Roman, for the most part, doesn’t give a fuck about that,” Culkin said, adding, “If his girlfriend says, ‘No, but you did a great job,’ it’s like: ‘Fuck you. Don’t patronize me.’” What he wants, Culkin said, is his dad’s approval: “That’s the only person that can get him, the only person that can look at him and make him nervous.”

Logan does exactly that when Roman prepares to stand against the tycoon in the vote of no confidence. With his father staring down at him, Roman can only muster a meek “maybe” before he slouches into his chair like an admonished child and votes with his father. Thanks to Roman, Logan lives to fight another day atop his dynasty, while Kendall is forced, temporarily, to surrender.

Earlier, in Episode 2, Roman finds himself watching as the world repackages his family’s tragedy into viral content. He and his family are huddled together in a New York hospital, awaiting information about their famous father’s deteriorating health post-stroke, like characters in a Gothic novel, when Roman starts scrolling through Twitter. His sister, Shiv, asks what people are saying.

“Eh, rumors, you know,” Roman replies matter-of-factly. “Some of Twitter says he’s dead ― and also a good deal of rejoicing at our father’s potential demise.” He notices a short video of the “South Park” kids yelling, “Oh my God, we’ve killed Logan! We’re bastards!” and asks an employee to “find out who these fuckers are and report them or screen grab their shit.”

When Culkin’s own father was hospitalized after suffering a stroke in 2014, TMZ, The Daily Mail, Perez Hilton all repackaged the tragedy as well. The National Enquirer pounced, too, running a headline that read, “Macaulay Culkin Rejects Dying Dad: ‘Rot in Hell!’” But unlike Roman, Culkin wouldn’t have been sifting through Twitter. “That would never be something that I would do willingly,” he says of social media more generally. “Because already at a young age, there was a public perception of me.”

Francis Apesteguy via Getty Images

Kit Culkin, Macaulay Culkin, Kieran Culkin and Patricia Bretnup pose for a photo one month after the release of “Home Alone.” The father is now estranged from his children.

Like Roman, however, Culkin and his siblings have a less than ideal relationship with his father. By all accounts, they have been mostly if not entirely estranged from Kit ever since their mother won custody of the children in the 1990s. Patricia, the mother, claimed during the custody battle that Kit had been abusive, and Culkin’s brother Macaulay has continued to do so throughout his life.

“He was a bad man,” Macaulay Culkin told comedian Marc Maron earlier this year.

When I asked Kieran Culkin if he has spoken with his father recently, he answered with two no’s so quickly that I couldn’t bring myself to ask a follow-up question, only saying, for reasons still unbeknownst to me, “Fuck ’em.”

“Fuck ’em,” Culkin agreed. “I’ll go on record: Yeah, fuck ’em.”

After a lifetime of his last name being splattered across the front pages of tabloids, Culkin seemed ready to move on from the controversies that have dogged him since he was a child actor with moppy hair and oversized clothes. That’s not him anymore.

What we’re looking at instead is Kieran Culkin, age 35 ― no longer a Greg and fully embracing life as Roman.

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lalka-laski · 3 years

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Do you know anybody who is ambidextrous? A kid I went to middle school with. It's weird what memories stick with you for no reason. Have you ever been 4-wheeling? Mhm What’s the weather been like today? It's the first reasonable day in what feels like forever. It was only in the 60s this morning on my walk to work and what a glorious walk that was! What was the last exam you sat for? Couldn't even tell ya Will you be attending any weddings in the near future? Jess's in a few months!! And then mine next year :)

Do you currently have any unread text messages, and who from? Nope Speaking of text messages, what colour is your cell phone? Rose gold Do you live anywhere near the woods? Kinda Would you ever consider a career in the tourism industry? It doesn't really seem for me When was the last time you used q-tips? A week or two ago How does your hair react to humid weather or rain? It gets a little frizzy but it's not too bad What’s your favourite flavour of iced tea? Lemon Do you understand music theory? Not even a little

How many hours of sleep did you get last night? 6 or 7ish? Are you expected to act professionally at your job? Define "professional"? I have to be cordial and professional with patients, sure. But I'm friendly and casual with my coworkers. Infomercials: entertaining or stupid? Entertaining and calming! I love throwing on home shopping channels to soothe myself What’s your favourite brand of energy drink? I don't drink them. That would be a NIGHTMARE for my anxiety. Do you have (or have you ever had) acne? I actually have a fucking planet-sized zit on my eyebrow right now. I never struggled with acne as a teen but my 20s have been a different story Why did you click to take this survey? I usually peep the length of a survey to see if it's worth my time. Short surveys annoy me for some reason. If you have glasses, have you ever smashed them? Smashed, no. Broken, yes. How do you get new music? Buy or download or what? Spotify Have you ever sent someone an abusive text message? Whaaaa? Do you require a lot of time to do things or are you quick? Oh I need lots and lots of time. More than the average person for most tasks, I'd say. What will be the next concert you attend? Luke Combs, who I don't even know. But I was invited, it's cheap, and I love live music so Turn the nearest television on, what’s on? I don't have a TV here How often do you “wake up on the wrong side of the bed”? Most days. I'm very bad at waking up and snapping myself into reality. Can you rap? L O L. Just look at me What do you usually order when you’re at McDonald’s? Grilled cheese if they'll serve me it, or an egg & cheese breakfast sandwich. Are there any textbooks near where you are right now? Maybe some medical textbooks upstairs What’s the time? 9:28 How’s your body temperature right now? I'm comfortable. I'm wearing a sweater but also have my desk fan blowing on me which seems unnecessary but, lol Do you use Celsius or Fahrenheit? Fahrenheit. Though I believe America really needs to make the damn switch. What was the last thing you got a really good deal on? A few things from Wegmans Have you ever studied any ancient societies? In school, yeah. Do you like to wear long, dangling earrings? I don't wear earrings at all What was the last reason you took medicine? ANXIETY Do you exercise regularly? I'm trying to make it more of a habit What is your coffee of choice? (flat white, cappuccino, etc.) Just plain brewed coffee. But I like an iced latte for fun now and then. Do you pay any attention to your country’s politics? It's kind of impossible not to Are you feeling worried about anything right now? I mean, I live in a permanent state of worry Are you a gossipy type of person? As much as I want to act like I'm not, I totally am When will your next meal be, and do you know what it will consist of? Lunch when I get home from work. No clue what I'll have though. It's slim pickings in our kitchen... What’s your opinion on your in-laws, if you have any? I'm very, very blessed to have the in-laws I do. They've been nothing but welcoming, supportive, and affectionate from the beginning. I truly feel like I gained a second family. Have you seen your best friend today? Glenn, yes. What can you smell right now? The coffee I'm drinking Any important birthdays coming up? Glenn's on Saturday! Then my goddaughter's the day after. Then Kathleen's & mine the following week. July is a busy month for birthday ha. Fireworks: yay or nay? I like how they look but the sound (and sensation) scares me Do you have any plans for the rest of the day? I work 'till 12 and then the rest of my day is wide open. Maybe I'll do some reading. How about tomorrow? Any plans? I have some returns to make at the store and I have to stop at my parents' house. But beyond that... whole lot of nothing. Do you know how to do your own laundry or does someone else do it? I do my own If you could eat or drink anything right now, what would it be? A piece of pizza would be dope right now. But when DON'T I want pizza?

What colour are your headphones? Blue Think of the last long car trip you had, where did you go? I haven't been in the car for longer than 40ish minutes in a long time

Do you have a Twitter account that you use regularly? Yep Have you ever seen a horseshoe crab? They’re scary, right?! I haven't but I'd probably think it's cool Are there any new movies that you’d really like to see? Not really. I'm not a movie person If you could play one instrument flawlessly, what would it be? Piano Do you overthink a lot of things? Please

Is there anybody you miss but can’t see again? Nora When was the last time you had a hangover? Couple days ago. The hangxiety was BAD

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vaultsexteen · 7 years

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The Vault Sexteen End of Year Fic Rec List 2017

because i read a lot of fallout fanfiction in the last five months and i want to justify it

i get into the nitty gritty of Why I Like These Fics So Much because i love explaining things, so i’m shoving this under a cut!

Honesty, Industry, Prudence by meanoldauthor

Slaves of Caesar's Legion are all but invisible. Most use it to avoid punishment, but the clever might turn it to their own gain. A rare few, through a roll of fate, might gain unexpected influence on the Legion itself.

Caesar's Priestesses are the only women held in any regard among the Legion, and even then only as caretakers and nurses to children. A mysterious and select group, their influence seems to go no further than the Temple doors. However, one lucky slave sees beyond the safety and softness of their work--and into a far deeper potential.

a wholly self-contained, character-driven story that takes us through life in the Legion through a woman’s eyes, and also one of the first FNV fics i ever read that captured my interest. i love worldbuilding and i super love when fics explore and build upon established canon and give these worlds their own space to breathe, to take a peek behind the curtain. this fic builds upon the Legion’s lore excellently, weaving a rich tapestry that makes the setting come alive. Aquilina is also a very compelling character with strong motivations, and keeping up with her life was always super interesting.

Qui Sumus by ghostofshe

A deceiver, two frumentarii, and a Courier, betting on the future of the Legion with a stack of mismatched cards and stolen caps.

4 chapters and yet to be finished but i love love love it. the Courier gets replaced by his twin sister and it’s already an intriguing premise but the writing for the characters really sold this fic for me. if you can’t tell, i am a sucker for character-driven stories, but that’s really because the characters are the backbone of a good story, for me - and the ones here are super strong and distinct and are really fun to watch. Cato and Nox and Canus are great, but i also love the depiction of Vulpes Inculta here - here’s a version of him that’s around someone familiar, which is super jarring usually, but what we’ve seen of him so far works for the character in my opinion.

dear hearts and gentle people by cheloniidae

The Courier survives the Second Battle of Hoover Dam. Her mother loses her all the same.

the Courier’s exploits told from her family’s point of view - a concept that’s been done before, but this one pulls it off the best, in my opinion. short but bittersweet! all the details about Johanna’s life and her relationship with her family come forward, and her motivations for the events of FNV, which take place off-screen, are at the forefront.

oasis of light by cheloniidae

A late night's work before the war.

(Instead of a family, Robert House has a city.)

if i am a sucker for anything, it’s character studies, and this was an excellent character study for House. it’s under 700 words but it perfectly encapsulates House’s motivations and feelings so well that it made a huge impression on me, and made me think about how i frame the motivations of my own characters.

G, You Look Good To Me by moon_crater & SynthApostate

Razz has a problem. O’Hanrahan is more than happy to help! Cheerfully, annoyingly happy to help. Whether Razz wants him to or not.

this fic is SO CUTE. it’s SO GOOD. minor FNV characters really got to shine in this fic, it has 6 chapters so far and i love every single one of them. it does a fantastic job of setting up the budding relationship between its main pair, their chemistry is so great. they’re finding that they have more in common with each other than they thought - but they also start to appreciate their differences, too. and it’s not just about o’hanrahan & razz, but poindexter and mags have integral roles, too, and their relationship as a whole unit is explored as well. i love how their friendships are slowly but surely developing together.

Here’s to the Losers by moon_crater

Fate decides Benny needs to acquire four-feet-ten inches of mouthy sidekick. Benny disagrees. Too bad he's got no say in the matter.

don’t you love it when characters are kicked down a peg or two or ten? ‘cause i sure do, and this fic hits Benny hard. Benny Gecko, shitty garbage man, has to take care of a smart-mouthed little kid, and it’s beautiful and also amazing. he’s still so obviously Benny, he can smooth-talk his way out of getting killed by raiders but he’s also always looking around every corner for anything that might kick him in the gut or stab him in the neck, and it’s just amplified when he’s in a situation where he has to look out for something other than himself. they got his character down cold and the situation they put him in is a great test of that character. plus, the kid is super funny and a great character in their own right, and i love their interactions! they play off each other super well!

The “Moron” in “Moroni” by TerribleAndSadThings

“Men like Graham do not change, Courier. His loyalty was never to Caesar, but to the war Caesar provided him. His religion is not that of New Canaanites, but that of battle. His god is not of kindness or mercy, but of slaughter.”

first off, THIS COURIER. WHAT A CHARACTER. seeing this Courier that is just a force of nature is so great, and my favorite kind of Courier if i’m being completely honest. just reading the other NPCs try to figure out how this Courier even works is always entertaining. and then there’s his relationship with Joshua Graham, which feels like such a cataclysmic disaster yet feels very very right. this fic has maybe one of my most favorite depictions of Joshua Graham ever.

and that’s not even getting into the SMUT PART

Case File: Vulpes Inculta by RandamHajile & turianosauruswrex

In the year 2299, over a decade and a half since the death of Caesar and the fall of the Legion, we’ve followed two reporters, Delilah Wells of Radio New Vegas and Carlos Rendón of the New Vegas Times, as they’ve come together in the capital city of the Mormon nation of New Deseret to uncover the mystery behind a grave anonymous tip they’ve been given–is Vulpes Inculta, the infamous war criminal said to have been slain in 2282, still alive and free in the Holy City of New Zion? And if so, what sort of danger could he pose, and can he be brought to justice for his heinous crimes? Join us now as the trail goes hot, and the mystery deepens…

now this list is NOT in any particular order BUT... this is the Best fanfic i have ever read this year, bar none. it’s at 2 chapters so far, but don’t be fooled: it’s an epistolary whodunit with loads of journal entries, audio recordings, letters, transcripts, and more to pore through and discover. what i can say here, i already said in the comments for chapter 2:

Words cannot grasp how much I love this fic, but by Jove, I'll try. It's SO GOOD. And wonderfully written and presented, holy crap. It's plain to see how much effort went into making everything look, and it adds so much to the characters and setting: examples that stick out to me are the pristine, color-printed recruitment pamphlets of Brotherhood of Steel; Delilah's photographs; Arthur Young's ADORABLE stationary; the sketches in Carlos' notepad; the New Vegas telegraphs... I'll be here all day if I list 'em all. And those are just the VISUAL element...

The audio recordings have mismatched volume levels for each actor and are at times hard to make out, which is explained in-verse by having the recordings be from a wire - not saying it's bad, in fact I think it gives the recordings lots of personality. And the voice talents themselves do a great job! Delilah has a nice, clear voice for radio and Carlos is mumbly with a sort of flat voice, which I think suits him perfectly.

The writing and worldbuilding is just stellar, too. Delilah and Carlos KNOW what they're doing, and I love learning more about them as more and more details begin to show themselves, and it's all very seamlessly integrated with the main story. Trying to figure out the mystery of Vulpes Inculta along with them never feels boring and I am on the edge of my seat wondering how things are going to develop aaaaahhhhh oh my GOD.

In short, I love this fic and I think anyone who loves Fallout should read it. Thanks!

THOSE HAVE BEEN MY TOP PICKS FOR THIS YEAR! YOWZA!!!

#fallout new vegas #fan fic #The Vault Sexteen End Of Year Fic Rec List #fan fiction #fic recs

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