#i also heard it about lesbians

[inkskinned]

it is hard to explain without sounding vain or stupid - but the more attractive others find you, the more you're allowed to do. the easier your life is.

i have been on both sides of this. i am queer and cuban. i grew up poor. for a long time i didn't know "how" to dress - and i still don't. i make my sister pick out any important outfits. i have adhd in spades: i was never "cool and quiet", i was the weird kid who didn't understand how "normal" people behave. i was bullied so hard that the "social outcasts" wouldn't even talk to me.

i got my teeth straightened. i cut my hair and learned how to style it. i got into makeup. it didn't matter, at first, if i actually liked what i was doing - it mattered how people responded to it. like a magic trick; the right dress and winged eyeliner and suddenly i was no longer too weird for all of it. i could wear the ugly pokemon shirt and it was just "ironic" or a "cute interest."

when i am seen as pretty, people listen. they laugh at my jokes. they allow me to be weird and a little spacey. i can trust that if i need something, people will generally help me. privilege suddenly rushes in: pretty does buy things. pretty people get treated more gently.

i am the same ugly little girl, is the thing. still odd. still not-quite-fitting-in. still scrambling. still angry and afraid and full of bad things. of course it became my obsession. of course i stopped eating. i had seen, in real time, the exact way it could change my life - simply always be perfect, and things can be easy. people will "overlook" all the other things. i used to have panic attacks at the idea others would see me without makeup - what would they think? even for a simple friend hangout, i'd spend a few hours getting ready. after all, it seemed so obvious to me: these people liked me because i was pretty.

i worry about how much i'm being a bad activist: i understand that "pretty" is determined by white, het, cis, able-bodied hegemonies. if i was really an ally, wouldn't i rally against all of this? recently there's been a "clean girl" trend which copies latinx aesthetics: dark slicked-back hair, hoop earrings. i almost never wear my hair like that; i can hear the middle school guidance counsellor advising me that i might fare better if i toned it down on the culture.

the problem is that i can take pretty on and off. that i have seen how different my life is on a day where i try and a day where i don't. i told my therapist i want to believe the difference is confidence, but it's not. and when you have seen it, you can't unsee it. it lives inside your brain. it rots there; taunting. i get rewarded for following the rules. i am punished for breaking them. end of story.

pretty people can get what they want. pretty people can feel confident without others asking where they got their nerve from. pretty people can be weird and different. pretty people get to have emotions; it's different when they get aggressive, it's pretty when they cry with frustration.

of course people care about this. of course it has crawled into you. of course you want to be seen as attractive. it's not vanity: it's self-preservation.

[hypogryffin]

i cant believe i wasn't following u b4,,,,,ive just been silently scrolling through your blog for like a solid YEAR and just haven't even noticed????? n e ways what are tha thoughts on literally anyone in p4 being trans bc i live for that 🎤

the way my brain decided that this was asking for pronoun headcanons and did not reread to make sure that was what you were asking before drawing all of this…... well anyways

[selkierosemary]

Your local selkie tumblogger not the best at taking pretty photos but I had to show you all this new book called A Sweet Sting of Salt that I just got for my lesbian book hoard, because it's about a selkie! If you're familiar with the fisherman's wife story then you can guess what the selkie is dealing with. I'm so excited to read this!

[wzardjellies]

Even if I love mkulia with all my heart and love their dynamic, I also have kinda been in the state of mind all season that their probably not gonna be a thing this season

[pinkeoni]

why are some lesbians obsessed with turning a cis man into their lesbian icon

[bethanythebogwitch]

I think part of the reason i latched on to Witch from Mercury so hard was it scratched a rare itch for me. As a lesbian weeb I like yuri, but I'm also aromantic and stories that are just about romance and relationship drama are intolerably boring to me because I just can't relate. G Witch gave me girl's love alongside political machinations, psychological drama, and giant robots fighting. That's the shit for me. I want lesbians going on adventures, solving mysteries, fighting monsters, saving the world, etc.

[phil-lesterfan]

ideas for fem bruce & fem joker. idk

[hanzajesthanza]

it kind of bothers me that witcher fans don’t really unite under sapkowski’s name like other fans of fantasy authors do (e.g. “tolkien fans”).

in practically any other fandom of fantasy books, save for the particularly rancid authors known for their disappointing and shameful behavior or views (e.g. jk r*wling), it’s just regular business to say the author’s name. but sapkowski’s name is treated like a dirty word in the witcher fandom, for really no good reason…

it must be asked — what is stopping us from doing so?! why don’t we call ourselves sapkowski fans. it would be much easier than saying “i’m a fan of the witcher, but only the books, i don’t consider the various adaptations canon, etc. etc.” … “half a hundred words, when three are enough!!”

[noa-ciharu]

With herd mentality, lack of critical thinking, cancel culture and subsequental fear of it, policing and purity culture, black and white worldview, lack of agree to disagree and being pro-censorship I think vast majority of, unfortunately very young and self-viewed as progressive, folks on social media more resemble a cult

[dr-wuffles]

Hey Queer men and transmen! As someone who used to live as as man socially in the fucked up, homophobic, "men don't cry", Macho society we have: - You are not weak or wrong for feeling like your feelings are not recognized.

-Queer male spaces, especially Andro/achilliean spaces are often plagued with incredibly shitty takes on vulnerability as it relates to masculinity and gender presentation. -You deserve to talk about what is hurting you and what is bothering you

-You deserve to feel vulnerable

-You deserve to be complimented and taken care of.

-Anyone who has an issue with this can go fuck themself and is no better than the alpha male loosers we shit on.

[doli-nemae]

I started to play Knights of the Old Republic II: The Sith Lords and I find it so hilarious how Meetra doesn't know that there's only few jedies left BUT SHE KNOWS THAT REVAN MET SOME JEDI-LADY :DDDD

[gugu-plum]

me: "ugh, another waifu gacha"

also me, several minutes into the game: 😳

[eemamminy-art]

Clemency kisses ✨

[mumpsetc]

I, Like Every Brony in the Modern Day It Seems, Really Like Vylet Pony But IMO Her Work Lacks That Same Punch Shit Like Cats Millionaire or SGaP Had. It's Not That Its More Fandom Based, Plenty of SGaP and Cats Millie Was That Too But It Just Feels More Disconnected From the Characters AND Specific Fandom Interpretations, It's Too General to Really Hook Me the Same Way

[softcarabiner]

everyone wants to be masc these days… but no one wants to be butch… things that make you go hmmm

[the--highlanders]

it is 1:16am and I am once again thinking about my extreme saltiness over big finish randomly deciding that jamie and kirsty got married vs my immense enjoyment of that fact bc of all the malicious compliance character building it lets me do. literally drives me nuts.