#i also loved makis small interactions of the chapter

[pulvisetsumbra]

"I'm the Fallen [angel]"

[honney-pies]

Ma Cherie❤︎

Birthday Girl

Pairing: Inumaki Toge/F!Reader/Okkotsu Yuuta

Fandom : Jujutsu Kaisen

Summary : this is how (y/n) got her name and how found family is like my fav trope.

Content warning/chapter warning: character death, referenced/implied abuse, referenced/implied sexual assault, excessive blood loss, thoughts of self-hatred, depression, feeling helpless, a knife is used, her mother SUCKS, please please please seek help if you or a loved one is being abused or in a harmful environment. I'm not sure if there is anything else, but please let me know and I will add it to the list!

Length: 2.5k

A/n: GUYS I'M SO SORRY THAT I HAVEN'T POSTED I FORGOT THAT I SAVED THIS TO DRAFTS! the next couple chapters are going to be more gaining context while also establishing how she interacts with others. the next two chapters (and this one too i think) contain spoilers for JJK season two. (y/n)'s birth name is Akane, but after this chapter I don't plan on referencing that. right now i'm sitting at about three chapters either nearly completed or started. please let me know if you liked this post! as always there is an oc version here and on ao3, feel free to read it if you would like! i'm still not sure how long this fic will be, but i'm aiming for about ten chapters. (Y/N) calls herself Akane anytime before she turns five.

Ma Cherie Masterlist

 ─── ⋆⋅ November  2016 ⋅⋆ ─── 

(Y/n) was looking at Panda and Maki sparring when she saw someone sit down in the corner of her eyes. Yuuta kept on staring at the sixteen year old, and she was beginning to feel her skin get itchy from feeling watched. He kept on looking at her then looking away, clearly he wanted to say something, but she didn’t want to bring it up if he didn’t intend to ask. 

“Kamo-san, why do some people call you Akane and others call you (Y/n)?” The girl in question looked at the dark haired boy and stared at him. 

“O-oh, you don’t need to answer that if you don’t want to! I didn’t mean to put you on the spot!” (Y/n) laughed, Yuuta was definitely too sweet for this world. 

“Do you want the short version or the longer one,” she asked. 

“I want to hear whatever you want to tell me,” he replied. 

    ─── ⋆⋅December 29, 2005⋅⋆ ─── 

It had been her birthday. Akane had just turned five years old and Shoko, Suguru and Satoru made sure to give her the best day ever. It had been her first birthday since her mother first tried to hurt her and Yaga banned her from entering the school. 

That night she was determined to sleep in her old room by herself and prove to herself that she grew up and could overcome what had happened to her. For a little over a month she had been alternating rooms and everyone had taken turns walking her to and from school along with having her accompany them on missions, obviously staying in the car, if no one else was available to watch her. All to protect her from her mother. 

When she had gotten into the room everything seemed fine, safe. Satoru was one room down and Suguru was in the same hallway as well. Shoko was still at her parents until classes started again. Satoru and Suguru had stayed with her for most of the night until she said she wanted to spend the night alone. They just looked at each other and agreed. What she didn’t know was that Suguru had let a small curse to watch over her, moreso to let him know if there were any changes in her mood or breathing. They both made their promises of seeing Akane tomorrow and to come into either one of their rooms should she feel scared. 

“Are you sure this is a good idea, Satoru?” The boy in question just looked at him and that’s all Suguru needed to know before grabbing his hand and holding it until they reached his room. The two went to their rooms and began to fall asleep. Although neither one was really able to do so. Akane’s well being was at the forefront of both of their minds. 

At first Akane didn’t know what was going on. She had thought that a tree was scratching at her window, maybe it had been a stray cat, but when she heard the shattering of her bedroom window break, she knew that it was no tree or cat. She knew it was something far worse. The five year old panicked and hid herself underneath the blanket and made herself small, as if that would keep the scary monsters away. 

We, as the readers of this story, know that hiding away under blankets will never keep the monsters at bay, but Akane was still a child, a child who didn’t fully know of the harsh realities the world, especially her own, had in store. 

The creaking of the wooden floors had been her only way of knowing where the monster was. The noises grew closer until one side of the bed dipped down and a soft voice called out to her. 

“Akane, it’s your mother. Come on out and tell me hi.” Akane was confused to say the least. From what she understood Mother was no longer allowed at the school since Yaga refused her entry. She had been told that if she did see her mother that she must go to another mom and ask to call her family or hide. 

This, however, wasn’t the first time Akane’s mother was not allowed to visit her for a period of time. From what she’s been told her mother got sad a lot. From what she heard while others thought she wasn’t listening was that her mother was unstable and had severe manic depression. She didn’t know what that really meant, but she knew that sometimes her mom wouldn’t be allowed to see her for a little bit. It happened pretty often, so Akane thought it was normal for her to disappear and show up out of nowhere. 

Unfortunately this was not one of those times. This time she felt her mothers animosity, this time she felt no love coming from her mother. Akane knew that her mother, the one she tries to remember, was nowhere to be seen. All that was left was a shell filled with rage, guilt, and anguish. This manifested itself into a pit in her mothers stomach, a pit that blamed Akane. Who she once viewed as her greatest achievement, her greatest creation, she could only view as her antagonizer.

That’s the funny thing about trauma, sometimes the blame can get misplaced. An innocent child can get the brunt of the aftermath of another man’s hand. 

Akane tried to sink herself as far down into her bed as she could, however the mattress didn’t swallow her up and protect her as she had hoped. Her mother only got angry and ripped the blanket off of her and clamped a bloodied, beaten hand over the child's mouth. Her child's mouth. 

She tried to squirm away, but her mother placed her full body weight onto her and forced her to stay put. 

“You listen here you insolent brat! You will keep your mouth shut and listen to your mother when you're told. I should have never left you here, you clearly don’t know what manners are. Now, nod your head if you’ll listen to mother like a good little girl.” Akane nodded her head, thinking that it would keep her safe. The hand that was placed over her mouth removed itself and reached to the side of her mothers clothes. She pulled out a knife and Akane had never been more scared in her life. 

“You have failed me for the last time, Akane,” hissed her mother, “you weren’t born a boy, you look like your father, you look like that other boy from your beloved fathers mistress, you have a hereditary cursed technique, one from the men's side. You have a family here, a happy one. You evade your fathers hand and live your life protected by the strongest. All of which I did for you, yet you never bother to show me gratitude. You are the product of your fathers control. Control over me, control over my body, control over my life. You are the embodiment of everything, everything, I have tried so hard to forget. I hate you! I wish you were never born!” 

The knife was lifted into the air. 

The knife was pushed into Akane’s small, fragile body. 

“Because of you, I can never be free!” The knife made its way to her stomach. She watched as her mother cried, as she wept and sobbed. Akane mirrored her mother and cried. She felt guilty for living and causing someone, especially her own mother, this much pain. As she watched the knife be lifted in the air again, she let a scream crawl its way from her throat. It came out garbled since she was choking on her own blood. She grabbed the blade and pushed it away from her body with all the strength that was left in her bloodied body. Through it all she screamed Satoru’s name, hoping that he heard her and would save her. Akane’s bedroom wall imploded on itself and two boys raced through. Suguru tackled her mother to the ground, effectively saving Akane. Satoru ran to her side and wrapped her in bedsheets, trying to stop the bleeding. The young girl looked over at her mother and noticed how she didn’t look human anymore, how she looked like a curse. 

She screamed and screamed at her daughter, blaming her, hating her. 

“I hate you! I wish you were never born!” Suguru stabbed her. The screaming turned into slurred, garbled speech.

Suguru had never seen someone actively turn into a curse before that night. He watched Akane’s mother turn into a curse right before his eyes, and just like so many times before he absorbed the girl’s mother. He hoped she would never see her mother ever again. 

Satoru rushed Akane to Shoko’s room, knowing she could save the girl. As they were leaving, Akane had three words falling from her lips.

“I love you.” 

When Akane woke back up she was in the medical bay, Shoko was watching over her. 

“Oh, you’re awake,” She pulled out her phone, “ Gojo, she woke up just now.” Shoko walked over to her and began to assess her. About half way through, the door slammed open and in ran Satoru, with Suguru not far behind. 

“You scared me! My lovely little sister scared me!” He threw himself onto her, but made sure he wasn’t actually hurting her. Suguru quickly joined them and all three of them curled up together while Shoko finished her tests. 

Later that day the four of them spent the night in Shoko’s room, it was the farthest away from the incident that happened last night. Their time together was spent goofing off and acting as children and above all else, making Akane feel loved. 

When he thought everyone else was asleep, Satoru pulled Akane closer to him and saw that she, too, hadn’t gone to bed.

“Can’t sleep,” he asked. She shook her head.

“I don’ know if I like who I am. Mother didn’ like me.” Satoru’s heart ached for her. He had been watching over the girl, mainly just keeping her company since he was 13, she was one. Their parents struck a deal to essentially groom the young girl into being a weapon for him if he desires. Though Satoru didn’t know how a measly toddler could be seen as one. 

He saw Akane all the time as he got older, when he moved into the dorms the two were practically inseparable. In fact when he introduced Suguru and Shoko to her, he referred to her as his little sister, in return she began to call him ‘toru-nii’. 

“You know, you don’t have to be who you were completely, you could be someone else. You could rise from the ashes like that one bird from Harry Potter!” She giggled quietly and rolled her eyes, although she didn’t know how to do that quite yet, so she just looked up. 

“Phoenix Fawkes, you're there when Sugu-nii reads them too, should at least remember the names.” Satoru rolled his eyes and poked her forehead. 

“You do know we love you, right? I love you. You bring us, me, so much happiness, love, and you deserve those things too. You deserve affection. (Y/n), do you know what that means? It can means ‘love and affection.’ We could call you that if you want.” 

The young girl looked up at him and smiled like he was the greatest thing to ever happen to her. He watched as she began to be overtaken by dreams, he wished they would remain happy ones. 

“I wan’ t’do that, dad.” Ak- (Y/n) drifted to sleep, and Satoru couldn't help but let out the biggest, brightest smile the world had ever seen. This was the greatest thing that could ever happen to him. (Y/n) had never called him that before, although there had been a few times where she nearly did. He couldn’t be happier than he was at this moment. He pulled the girl as close as he could without hurting her. 

In the darkness of the room he met Suguru’s eyes. He smiled at Satoru and placed his hand on top of his. 

 ─── ⋆⋅ November 2017 ⋅⋆ ───

“My dad gave it to me. I was five at the time and he wanted me to be able to choose who I would become, to let go of my biological family and move forward. To have a constant reminder that I’m loved and deserve to be happy. Some people call me Akane to piss me off, some do it because they don’t know or simply don’t care.” Yuuta looked at the girl and he knew that she must have been through something that most wouldn’t have recovered from. 

“I thought you and your family don’t talk.” 

“I talk to my older brother sometimes.I guess you wouldn’t know since you aren’t familiar with the politics and all that, but he was here for the Sister School exchange event, he goes to the Kyoto school. In fact he’s the only remotely tolerable one from my family, although I don’t go out of my way to interact with them. I don’t talk to anyone from there anymore besides him, his name is Noritoshi. He doesn’t really know how to speak for himself and it annoys me, but he respects my decision to leave even if he thinks it was a stupid idea.” 

“Oh, the one with the shut eyes?” 

“They’re narrow, but yeah, that’s him.” 

Yuuta looked at her the whole time, giving her his undivided attention. In that moment she realized she liked the feeling of his eyes on her, her skin didn’t itch as much. 

“Like Maki,” he asked. She sighed.

“Fortunately I never spent more than a couple days at the estate at a time. I grew up here, actually. My mother gave a huge amount of money to the school to let me stay here. That and Yaga and her were friends I think.  Maki had to live with them for years. I didn’t, I had the privilege to live away from them in a loving family.” 

Yuuta looked like he had more to ask, but she saw Satoru sit down next to her. He saw her smile and bump her shoulder with his, no Infinity to get in the way. 

“Hi, sensei!” He grinned at the two.

“What were my beloved students talking about? Anything interesting?” 

“My name.” Satoru looked at her through his bandages and saw her staring at the sky, running her fingers over her clothes, where the scars were, are. 

“That’s a different kind of interesting, (Y/n). You know I think I did a great job helping you pick that name out! It suits you.” Yuuta looked over confused, he was about to speak up when the girl tapped his shin with her foot, luckily he got the idea and closed his mouth. 

“I’m the one that agreed with you, so get off your high horse, sensei.” The two let out twin laughs as Satoru got up. ‘A meeting with the muscle man,’ he said. Before Yuuta even had a chance to speak, she beat him to the punch.

“He raised me. I only call him Gojo or sensei when talking around at school. To me he’ll always be toru-nii.”

“You said your father gave you that name.” She smiled.

“I said my dad did. Not my father.”

“Oh... Does he know you see him as a dad,” he asked. She nodded her head. 

“C’mon Okkotsu, let's practice.” He stared up at the girl as she offered her hand to him. He grabbed it and pulled himself up. 

He liked the way her hand felt against his, though he didn’t know if Rika would appreciate the thought.

_____________________________________________________________

lmk if you would like to join!

Taglist:

@staygoldsquatchling02

the next chapter, 'family bonding' should be out Saturday, September 2nd! thank you so much for reading and I will make sure to get a masterlist in place soon!

-honney

[ronpatrash]

Genfic rec time! It's long and there will be spoilers for the game in some fics, so I'm gonna put this behind a read more.

SaiMomoHaru (platonic/romantic):

Translating (Your Love Language) by Goth-Bias (series of drabbles, T rated)

Chapter 1 is saimomoharu and it's short and sweet. Shuichi hears Maki and Kaito having a little love confession and thinks he's excluded from it. A small crisis ensures. There's also an angsty post-game saimaki ficlet in chapter 4! :') it is so painful yet so good.

fragments of those memories are scratching at my nerves by pseudocordelia (~6k words, T rated)

Post-game fic! Everyone is alive/killing game was a VR. Maki breaks into Shuichi's house to tell him that she remembers everything, and has found Kaito. Shuichi follows her to see him. It's simple and short but every chapter moved me :')

Grassblades by munchyleaf (~2k words, T rated)

This felt like a missing scene from the game itself, which I hope is telling enough that I would like more people to read it! Takes place sometime after Maki gets invited to train with Kaito and Shuichi too, and Kaito skips training, so Shuichi gets time to process his trauma along with Maki. I'm not finding many fics of just the two of them interacting, so this was really nice :)

Stargazing by ToxicPineapple (~3.3k words, G rated)

The trio lay down after a workout and talk about stars. Everyone is written perfectly in character here, it's incredibly immersive and feels like an event that is missing from the game too!!!

As If it Couldn't Touch You by lesbianexalt

always halfway somewhere, but never quite all there by lesbianexalt

This author is so underrated!!!! Please go read these, they really get that maki and kaito and shuichi are all a throuple and that they get through their inner problems as a group, together. It's beautiful.

Do I Dance Inside Your Head? by an orphaned account (~1k words, I'd put this as T rated personally. there's no rating warning, but there is one mention of Shuichi waking from a wet dream)

at some point last year, i said i wanted to see a fic where maki and kaito get together first and then shuichi gets sad about it, and THIS IS THAT FIC. It's a little fast paced, but for the exact dynamic i want alone this goes in my recs.

Good News for All You Murder Fans by Inkyrius (~800 words, G rated)

The trio are on a date, and their date gets interrupted by a dead body in the middle of a park. I love this short fic a lot because the author really nails their dynamic!

Stargazing by ToxicPineapple (~3.3k words, G rated)

The trio lay down after a workout and talk about stars. Everyone is written perfectly in character here, it's incredibly immersive and feels like an event that is missing from the game!!!

Cosmicpoet is still my favourite saimomoharu go-to for writing like, 11 fics of them, many of which deal with post-game/in-game angst with the right amount of gravity, but some of which are much lighter in tone. In some of their saimomoharu fic they also directly acknowledge the trio as lovers, which I adore. Here's my favourites:

the world's still spinning around, we don't know why (~3k words, T rated) (TW for attempted suicide)

Shuichi attempts suicide and deals with the fallout of it. It's heavy, and also shows Kaito and Maki coping with the trauma of the killing game with alcoholism and gambling. But they all try together. Ends on a small hopeful note.

i had all and then most of you, some and now none of you (~1.5k words, G rated) (there's some mild talk of suicide in here too)

Post-game, killing game was a VR au. They all get matching tattoos on a sleepless night. While it's in a heavy tone, they all try to find comfort in each other in dark times, which I like.

this year (~1k words, G rated)

God this was so cute. Kaito plans some nice gifts for both Maki and Shuichi. I won't spoil any more just please know that I adore it.

friday night dinner (~1k words, G rated)

I'm rec-ing this for the line "mere fractions in the equation of the love that they have for each other" alone, which sold me even more on this cute fluffy platonic dinner get-together.

TheBrightSilverLining has written a whole series for training trio week, and I adore all of them so much! I can't just pick one to recommend from this series, so here's two:

How to Survive a Fifteen Hour Plane Ride (~3.3k words, T rated)

Like the title says, the trio are on a plane ride together to Novoselic, and as someone who's had to endure longer plane rides this was all too relatable. Their dynamic as friends is written so well here and it's hilarious and heart warming. This fic is a good time!

Pictures on the Wall (~3.6k words, T rated)

This fic is a canon divergent AU and full angst. Made my heart ache in the best way it could :> I wont say any more aside from the fact that this was super intriguing from start to finish, and I will 100% read it again for the roller coaster of emotions

In Black and White by Riona (~1.2 k words, G rated)

Less saimomoharu and more saimota + momoharu, this is also a short read. Post-game, closer to canon-compliant. Shuichi reads Team Danganronpa's production notes about his fictionalized profile, and talks to Maki a bit about it.

SaiMota:

Close Your Eyes by Riona (~2.1 k words, T rated)

More of a Shuichi/Everyone, but with an overarching one-sided saimota, this fic resembles a little more like a collection of thoughts about the ethics of the love hotel sequences. There's a funny section in there where Kokichi has a little talk with Shuichi about the heart keys.

Midnight, The Stars and You by ultimate_heartache (~8k words, T rated)

Kaito invites Shuichi out for a road trip, and gay shenanigans ensure :D this author has written a lot of saiouma fics too if anyone's interested, I love his prose-like writing style!

Relieved by ToxicPineapple (~3.2k words, T rated)

Caught me off guard!! I knew I would be reading angst, but it comes with a nice comfort near the end. Definitely gave some nice closure for post-game saimota

Shout to the Stars by DoomedTemperament (~1k words, G rated)

This was so cute??? Please read it, it gave me joy.

comparison kills by joeri (~15k words, T rated)

Trans Kaito and trans Shuichi, what's not to love! It follows mostly Kaito's point of view as he struggles to navigate his internalized homophobia while also being a trans man. The author's done good research in making it feel like it's set in Japan.

[yuujispinkhair]

The songs you grow to like never stick at first (Chapter 4)

Chapter 1 ++ Chapter 2 ++ Chapter 3

Falling for your best friend is a blessing and a curse at the same time, especially when it’s painfully obvious that your friend doesn’t feel the same. So what is Yuuji supposed to do? He doesn’t want to lose you but also can’t help wanting to get out of the friendzone. Maybe his other friends can help him. Or he just has to wait because sometimes the songs that become our all-time favorites are the ones that don’t stick at first.

Pairing: Yuuji x Reader (female) Genre: College AU, fluff, my attempt at humor, friends to lovers Word Count: 4k Playlist: College AU Warnings: 18+, slow burn, a lot of cheesiness, pining, unrequited love in the beginning, alcohol, masturbation, sex dreams, boxing in a boxing club. All characters are of age. The story and my blog contain 18+ content, so minors don’t interact.

Chapter 04: A rivalry goes so deep between me and this loss of sleep over you (Part 1)

The relief Yuuji feels after knowing that Kamo isn't on your list of guys you want to date is short-lived. Because Yuuji is still in the friend zone, pining after you like a lovesick puppy while feeling like a traitor because he wants more.

He's drowning in guilt anytime he has one of those dreams where you are definitely more than his friend. The dreams in which you are on his lap or writhing beneath him, or sometimes bend over your desk, or with your legs wrapped tightly around Yuuji's hips as he slams you against the shower wall. Damn! The dreams won't stop, and the longing, while he's awake, won't stop either.

And the worst thing is the jealousy. Because there's a new guy in the picture. And not just any guy. The heir of the Zenin empire: Zenin Naoya.

He's Fushiguro's and Maki's cousin and is currently assisting Mr. Nanami with a project about local companies. And in Yuuji's eyes, he's clearly an asshole! He's arrogant and mean and walks around like the whole world has to bow before him. He even looks like an asshole with his fancy suits and the stupid Rolex on his wrist!

You mention him casually in between sipping on your milkshake during one of your study meet-ups in the little coffee shop. At first, Yuuji doesn't think too much about it, but then you bring Mr. Zenin up more and more times, and Yuuji feels a knot in his stomach. Suddenly his cupcake doesn't taste that sweet anymore. 

It's Nobara who asks the question Yuuji is too scared to ask:

"So, Mr. Zenin, huh? I heard he's sexy. Seems like half of the people in your economics course are crushing madly on him."

You giggle and hide your face behind your hands. Yuuji feels sick. And Nobara continues to bug you because she lives for gossip.

"Maki can't stand him. Says he's her most hated relative. So she's kinda pissed off that he's here and that people are head over heels for him. What do you think, (y/n)? Naoya Zenin, hot or not?"

Yuuji groans,

"Can you stop it!? We are here to study! I need one of you to tell me how to write this essay."

"Shut up, Itadori! You never care about your coursework, so don't start now when the adults are talking. (Y/n), tell me, do you crush on Naoya too?"

You can't stop grinning, and seem so flustered. Yuuji knows exactly what's up. He doesn't even need to hear it. He can see it so clearly. Yes, you have a crush on the heir to the Zenin business empire.

Yuuji has never hated someone as much as he hates this guy. He usually thinks of himself as a nice person. Someone who always tries to see the good in others. Someone who gives second chances, smiles at strangers, helps old ladies carry their shopping bags, and offers kind small talk to literally anyone he meets. Yuuji is a nice guy, ok? But he loathes Zenin Naoya with a passion!

Especially when after a week of Nobara's constant teasing, you finally admit out loud:

"He is so hot! Our eyes met today during class, and he didn't look away! Gosh, it felt like he was undressing me with his eyes. I got so flustered!"

Suddenly you aren't complaining about economics anymore. It seems to be your favorite course now. Yuuji sees that you wear more make-up, that your hair is always washed and styled now, and that the clothes you wear hug your figure tighter.

It upsets him that you feel the need to revamp your look for this guy. Yuuji thinks you are beautiful and sexy when you're in your pj's without any make-up, and you haven't washed your hair in days. He hates that this arrogant rich guy makes you feel the need to get up earlier just to apply make-up and do your hair.

You are so nervous, fixing your clothes a hundred times and touching your hair over and over again, and your voice is squeaky when you ask Yuuji:

"Yuu, do I look ok like this?"

"Of course you do! You always look pretty!"

"Aww, you're such a sweetheart. Thank you!"

You hug him tightly and press a kiss to his cheek before hurrying down the hallway towards your economics course. To flirt with Mr. Zenin. 

And later that day, you keep babbling about him. He's literally the number one topic of conversation lately. He's so hot! I like his hair! Oh god, the way he looks at me, with that arrogant smirk!

Yuuji's chest feels so tight. The pain is almost suffocating at times. He tries to see the situation from your eyes. It makes things even worse. Because yeah, he has to admit that he sees the appeal. Naoya is a few years older than you, he is powerful, he is rich, he is sexy, he's always dressed in fancy suits and drives nice cars. He's the type of guy who is the main love interest in a romance book. He's everything Yuuji isn't.

The jealousy takes permanent residence in Yuuji's heart. It's an ugly thing, clawing at him, making him feel sick and envious. He would give anything to be in Naoya's shoes.

But he isn't. He's just Yuuji. And Naoya is Naoya.

And Naoya comes up to you one afternoon after class when you are chatting with Yuuji in the hallway. His grin is so smug, hands shoved casually into the pockets of his tailored suit pants, walking like he owns this place. His gaze barely brushes Yuuji's face for a split second, not even acknowledging him. But his grin turns into a charming smile when he looks at you and compliments you on your presentation, telling you how impressed he is while you are beaming at him happily. And then Naoya hands you his business card with a confident grin:

"Text me so we can meet for coffee sometime."

You smile shyly and take the card from him, staring after him when he walks down the hallway, the keys to his sportscar dangling on his long elegant fingers. And once he's away far enough, you turn to Yuuji with a squeal while clutching the card to your chest and doing a little excited dance.

"Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!!! He just asked me on a date, didn't he!?"

Everything stops. Yuuji feels too hot or too cold. He can't even tell. His heart is thundering in his chest, blood rushing in his ears, and the room vanishes from his vision until the only thing he can focus on is that business card in your hands.

This is bad.

The worst case, actually. Your crush on Naoya was already giving Yuuji such a hard time, but it had seemed like a hopeless little thing that would go away again after a while. But now that asshole asked you out! He wants you! Yuuji's heart is so heavy.

"Do you really want to text him?"

"Of course, I want to! What do you mean, Yuuji? Why wouldn't I want to text him?"

He shrugs helplessly, looking at you with big eyes, hoping you will come to your senses.

"I mean that he doesn't seem like a good guy for you. He is so...he is...just look at him!"

"Oh, you think he's too attractive for someone like me? Wow, Yuu...thanks for nothing."

"What? No! That's not what I mean! But he's so arrogant, and he seems shady to me! Just listen to what Fushiguro says about him at their family meetings! He isn't a nice person (y/n)! He isn't good for you! Maki also doesn't like him!"

He looks at you intently, gesturing wildly with his hands, begging you to see the truth, but you just sigh before reaching out to pat his biceps.

"Ok, I get it, Yuuji. You just want to protect me. That's sweet, and I appreciate it! But you don't have to worry. I know Fushiguro can't stand him, but honestly, that's not a reliable indicator that someone is a bad person. Fushiguro can't stand most people. And I think Maki doesn't like Naoya because of some family dispute between her part of the family and his. I know Naoya. He is a true gentleman. He's so polite and smart, and I think he would treat me very well. He seems nice to me."

"He's not!"

"Please, Yuu, calm down. It's gonna be ok. I'm gonna be ok. Just let me have a bit of fun! Please, can you be happy for me? If you are upset because you think I won't have time for our friendship anymore if I start dating someone, I can guarantee you that won't be the case. Ok? You're so important to me, Yuuji. You will always be my best friend, and I will always have time for you."

Yuuji wants to slap himself. He's always way too impulsive and speaks before he thinks, and now he made things weird because he looks like a possessive idiot who wants to keep you all to himself and forbids you any fun.

Another emotion joins the jealousy and sadness: Guilt.

He really should be happy for you! He should squeal excitedly with you and take you to get ice cream to celebrate that you're about to go on a date with the guy you've been crushing on for weeks! He should be supportive. What kind of shitty friend is he?

Maybe you are right, and Naoya really isn't that bad. Maybe he can make you happy, and isn't that what Yuuji should want for you? Also, Yuuji doesn't have any proof that the Zenin heir really is a bad guy. So you are probably right that Megumi's and Maki's opinion is very biased.

This is just his broken heart talking. He is jealous and hurt, and that's why he wants to believe Nayoa is an asshole. He gulps hard and takes a deep breath. It takes everything in him to manage a smile and reach out to rub your shoulder.

"I'm sorry, (y/n). I'm happy for you that he gave you his number. I'm just a bit overprotective when it comes to you. Just be careful, please, ok? Promise me."

"Of course, I'll be careful. Please don't worry your pretty little head. And if anything goes wrong, I know I have my personal knight in a red hoodie, right?"

Yuuji manages to chuckle softly, and when you hug him, he makes sure to hold you extra tightly, enjoying the short moment where he can pretend that he is the lucky guy you have a crush on.

Yuuji used to think his dirty dreams about you were the worst thing, but now he knows that he was very wrong. Unfortunately, it can always get worse, apparently! Because now those dirty dreams get joined by dreams where he sees you with Naoya. 

One moment he dreams about going down on you, kneading your juicy ass while he kisses your thighs and licks at your sweet clit, moaning because you are so wet for him. And you press so needily against his mouth and pull on his hair, loving what Yuuji does to you. Loving him.

And the next moment, dream-Yuuji hears you moan the wrong name, and when he looks up at you, you frown down at him and push him away with a: "Ewww, what are you doing here?" And Yuuji's dream-self has to watch how Naoya pulls you into his arms and tells you that now he will show you what a real man is like in bed.

Needless to say, Yuuji hates going to sleep.

He used to feel guilty about the sex dreams, but at least they gave him a good time in his sleep, and he had some of the most mind-blowing jack-off sessions afterwards. But now he can't even be with you in his dreams anymore. Even in dreamland, Naoya steals you away from him. It's frustrating!

And so Yuuji ends up staying up later than usual. Forcing himself to work on his assignments until late at night. Binge-watching show after show or challenging Fushiguro to video game wars. Hell, he even calls Nobara to listen to her monologues about how amazing Maki is, which new make-up launches there were this week, and which designer clothes are the shit this season. Anything to stay awake, anything to escape those dreams.

But the rivalry between Yuuji and the loss of sleep goes deep. His body and brain don't take the lack of sleep well. 

He has been in a bad mood ever since that day you got Naoya's phone number, and the sleep deprivation intensifies those feelings.

Usually, Yuuji is the resident sunshine boy, but now he can't help but be irritated by little things. He manages to smile when he's around you. But once he's at home, he announces his lousy mood by slamming the door shut angrily, kicking his shoes off with too much force so the ratty red Vans land against the wall, leaving a muddy stain there that will make Fushiguro have a meltdown.

Unfortunately, Megumi is the one who has to deal with Yuuji's easily irritated self the most. It's not easy being Yuuji's dormmate at the moment. Especially since Fushiguro is someone who likes things to be quiet and in perfect order. In short, he is someone who wants to have his peace. But now he has to endure slamming doors, an array of swearwords, and one evening a loud bang followed by a yelp of pain when Yuuji punches his wall.

"Itadori, grab your gym bag and let's go workout. Maybe we can finally do that free trial for the boxing club."

"I don't want to leave my room."

"Stop moping! Get your ass up from the floor and put on a shirt! I've had enough! You cannot punch the wall, you idiot. You will only hurt yourself. Let's go boxing, and you can take all your rage out on me."

"What the fuck, Fushiguro?! That sounds so sexual somehow!"

Fushiguro rolls his eyes and one corner of his lips lifts in an amused smirk.

"As if you would be on top. Keep dreaming, Itadori."

"Oh god... is that the problem? Am I that guy who gets told he looks submissive and breedable? And girls don't want someone like that?"

"I don't want to continue this conversation."

"Bro, you started it!! Now tell me! Am I too submissive? Do I give off that vibe? And that's why (y/n) doesn't want me?"

"Man, I have no idea! And you also don't know! Because you never told her how you feel!"

And so Yuuji is back at the start again. Yes, exactly, he never told you. As unrealistic as it is, what if you had liked him too? In a romantic way. Just a tiny little bit, but were too shy to make the first step, and Yuuji never said anything, and so you gave up and turned to someone else who showed that he is interested in you? What if Yuuji had a chance, and he let it go?? He will hate himself forever!

Maybe he should have told you. Would it have changed things? Would possibly he be the one who could take you on a date if he had been brave enough to confess his feelings? He knows it's no use, it's already too late, but he can't help but obsess over the what-ifs.

His hands are balling into fists again as anger and self-hate engulf his every thought. He will lose his mind if he stays here with no outlet for his anger.

"Let's go to the gym Fushiguro! We'll take that boxing lesson! I need you to pound me so hard! Don't hold back!"

"Now, who's the one making this sound sexual?"

But Fushiguro accompanies him to the boxing course, and he lands some really nice right hooks straight into Yuuji's face. Yuuji can't help but laugh because it seems some good payback for all the shit he put Megumi through since you started dating Naoya. But Fushiguro also doesn't complain when Yuuji goes into a rage and attacks him back with so much force that the whole boxing club gathers around them and cheers them on enthusiastically. Soon the usual "Tiger of Jujutsu College!!" chants start, and tonight Yuuji doesn't even feel embarrassed by them. On the contrary, it feels fucking good to let go and just let his fists talk! And Fushiguro is the perfect sparring partner, not holding back either and laughing maniacally anytime Yuuji lands a hit, grinning at him with an excited glint in his usually so aloof blue eyes. Yuuji is really grateful that his dormmate is just as crazy as himself.

They leave the gym that evening with a nice collection of bruises and a clap on the back by the boxing coach, who is ecstatic about finding a gem like Yuuji who will lead his little boxing club to fame and fortune.

The day you go on your first date with Mr. "I am rich and smart and look like a fucking model" is the worst one Yuuji had in a long time.

It's not enough that he has to smile and act like everything is awesome while you fidget nervously with your phone and ask for the tenth time which dress to wear. No, he also has to listen to your excited squeal when you call him once you're back home.

"OH MY GOD, YUUJI!! He is amazing! The date was so perfect! And he KISSED me!!! I am going to die!!!"

Yuuji lets his head fall back on his pillow, staring unseeingly up at his bedroom ceiling as you chatter about how Naoya took you to one of the city's fanciest restaurants, overlooking Tokyo from who knows how many floors. Of course, he got a table with the best view of the sunset, and of course, he took your hand at exactly the perfect moment and kissed you.

Yuuji's heart clenches painfully in his chest. All of this sounds like a bad dream. He wishes it was one. Carefully he places two fingers on his forearm and pinches it so hard that he almost drops the phone. Yeah, fuck. Seems like he is unmistakably awake and definitely NOT dreaming.

He suppresses a sigh and closes his eyes to make the room stop spinning around him. Everything is too much. He fucked up big time. He should have just told you how he feels! He should have taken you to the beach and watched the sunset with you too. Maybe he could have hugged you and kissed you. Or he could have written you a love letter, old-fashioned and romantic. He should have told you how much he loves your laugh and your humor and your smart brain and your kind heart. 

He should have done a lot of things, but he didn't. And now it's too late. Now someone else is taking you on dates and kisses you and makes you scream excitedly into the phone.

The following weeks make Yuuji spiral down even more. He tries to stay positive, tries to tell himself it will be ok. After all, you are happy! Isn't that a good thing? Shouldn't Yuuji be happy for you? He knows that's what he should be. But it's so damn hard to do that when his heart gets broken over and over again anytime he remembers that you are someone else's girl now.

He tries to stay busy at all times, frequenting the gym even more often now to work out excessively and going to his boxing lessons which offer some sweet relief when he is able to just drill his fists against the punching bag over and over again, letting out his rage and hurt. 

Todo and Megumi compliment his even bigger biceps and even more defined pecs and abs. But that doesn't really matter to Yuuji right now. He's working out to keep his mind off you and to exhaust himself so much that hopefully, he will be able to fall into the blissful blackness that is dreamless sleep once he gets back home.

Unfortunately, his brain decides to provide him with even more dreams though. Dreams where he goes on dates with you, but suddenly you get pulled away by a hand on your shoulder, and Yuuji has to watch helplessly as you get into a fancy car while he is glued to the seat, unable to get up.

And, of course, he also has the familiar dirty dreams that make him rut desperately against his pillow, trying to think of someone else but always seeing you when he moans softly and feels his thick spurts of milky cum pulse over his hand.

His body might look even fitter, but his face certainly doesn't. He can see the dark circles under his eyes, and so does everyone else. Nobara even shoves her concealer over the table and into Yuuji's hands one morning.

"Use this, Itadori. I am begging you!"

And Megumi watches him with growing worry on his face. He isn't the type to spend all his free time with other people, he needs his alone time to recharge, but recently he always knocks on Yuuji's bedroom door every night and comes inside looking for excuses to spend time with Yuuji.

"Hey, just thought I should tell you there's another documentary about wolves. You seemed to enjoy it the last time, so do you want to watch it with me?"

Or he waits for Yuuji in the kitchen and holds up a pot and a cooking spoon.

"Hey, Itadori, can you show me how to make those meatballs again? I can't remember."

Yuuji is grateful for the company, and so he plays along and spends his evenings watching documentaries and cooking with Fushiguro.

But once he's in bed, the thoughts are back to haunt him. His nights are filled with a neverending mix of wet dreams and nightmares. And his mornings are spent feverishly jacking off and then trying to consume so much coffee that his mushy brain is able to form coherent thoughts.

He practices his sunshine smile in the windows of the coffee shop he frequents every morning, irritating the other customers because it looks like he is smiling at them while he's checking out his reflection in the large windows.

A middle-aged woman gives him a wink, and some blue-haired guy blows him a kiss. Yuuji just blinks at them in confusion before his tired brain catches up with what is happening. He shrugs apologetically and scratches his hair sheepishly before quickly hurrying off towards the university.

His smile still works, apparently. But it's damn hard to keep smiling and act like things are fine.

It's the worst when you come to Yuuji with a happy smile on your face and throw yourself into his arms, hugging him just like you always do.

But now you tell him about all the romantic things Naoya said or did, and it's clear that you are completely oblivious to what it is doing to Yuuji. It's not that you don't notice the state he's in. But you don't see that it's connected to you.

"Yuuji, maybe you shouldn't work out so much? You look tired, you know."

"Wow, you really know how to compliment me. Thank you so much!"

"You idiot! You know what I mean! I think you are overexerting yourself."

"I am not."

"Where do those dark circles under your eyes come from then? Oooh, or do you have a secret affair?"

"Maybe I started working as a stripper. That would explain the lack of sleep and the obsessive workout routine."

You laugh delightedly and smack his arm playfully, just like you always do. And Yuuji laughs with you and puts an arm loosely around your waist, which results in the two of you wrestling playfully.

For a moment, it feels like everything is ok. The bickering, the jokes, the rituals. This is what feels like home to Yuuji. Your friendship, the warmth, and playfulness laced with love and trust is his favorite thing in the world.

For a moment, the sun seems to shine a bit brighter, and the gloominess that has been in Yuuji's line of vision lifts. For a moment, he catches himself thinking that everything will be ok.

Until the deep growl of a car engine drifts to his ears. You let go of Yuuji and step away from him, still grinning brightly at him.

"I have to go! See you tomorrow. And hey, try to get some rest, ok?"

You reach up to ruffle Yuuji's hair affectionately before jogging over to the sports car waiting for you.

Yuuji knows he shouldn't look, but he can't tear his gaze away, and so he watches in morbid fascination as you get into the passenger seat and lean over to greet your boyfriend with a sweet kiss on the lips.

It hurts.

And yet Yuuji's gaze is glued to you. He gulps hard against the lump in his throat but quickly plasters a smile on his face when the car sets into motion.

He barely has time to lift a hand in a little wave before he has to jump to the side when Naoya's sports car speeds past him.

Fucking asshole!

Yuuji runs his hand through his pink hair exasperatedly. He knows he can't compare to Naoya. He's just Yuuji. He doesn't have a fancy car or custom-tailored suits. He can't afford to buy you expensive presents. He isn't a powerful man like Naoya is.

But he immediately chides himself for those thoughts. You don't care about things like those. You aren't shallow like that. You like Naoya for real.

As much as it hurts Yuuji, he has been listening closely to you, and he knows that it's much more than just a little crush. At first, you only squealed about Naoya's looks and his impressive aura. But then you started to tell Yuuji about other things too.

How much you like the dimples Naoya gets when he smiles. How he has a whole room dedicated to books, and it is his favorite pastime to sit there and read. How you and he bond over books you both enjoy and that you even started your own little private book club. How you told Nayoa that he doesn't have to take you to fancy restaurants, and so he began to take you on picnics in the park instead.

As much as Yuuji hates to admit it. You really like Naoya. And he seems to treat you well.

But Yuuji still doesn't trust him one bit. There's just something shady about him. Maybe it's still the jealousy talking. Or Yuuji really has a sixth sense, and maybe he should have opened that palm reading business thing for real.

Thank you so much for reading!! I had to split the chapter into two parts because it was getting too long. So you will find the rest of the story about the rivalry between Yuuji and the loss of sleep in a second part :) Aww Yuuji!! You really should have told reader how you feel!! Poor baby boy!! But maybe Naoya really is as shady as Yuuji thinks? Maybe Yuuji will really have to be the knight in a red hoodie? Please let me know what you think about this chapter!! This series means so much to me!! I laugh so much while writing it, and I hope it can bring some fun into your life too!

Comments and reblogs make me happy!

Chapter 5

[psychewritesbs]

I sent in a precious ask whining about megumi, and asking about how the characters would be spread to fight against sukuna and kenjaku, so I wanted to clarify I wasn't two anons T_T I'm just continuing from before ~

I believe yuji will play a big role in defeating kenjaku. What about you? Gojo's presence (I love you I do okay) makes thinking the how difficult given his title as strongest, but I'm wondering when yuji and kenjaku will interact with each other again and in a meaningful way. I'm not expecting immediate love family stuff and all that, but it's wild how small their interactions and dynamic is made of so little despite kenjaku being yuji's parent. As a result, I'm more excited to know how he'll handle sukuna than kenjaku 😭

Like, kenjaku's nefarious ways to birthing yuji is admirable in a loose way and I love what it means about yuji, but can we actually have them interact again please. As of right now, I don't mind who defeats kenjaku lol which is a shame for me. I know others would be upset (I understand) if his defeat was by someone other than yuji.

I wouldn't be surprised if gojo does too because though kenjaku isn't just about geto, but for gojo's motivation/pov, that's still something that has inhabited his best friends body, and then there's yuta, and I'm sure he'll fight kenjaku, but I'm unsure if that'll be his own defeat, and with that in mind, I'm curious to see how this can get done with the literal strongest who they had to seal being back in the game.

As for megumi, like I mentioned last ask about his sense of self overpowering sukuna's, but I can see yuji playing that big role with megumi playing a more active role to defeat sukuna.

Maki is a beast too, so I wonder what's going to happen with her. Also, miwa looked so ominous during her walk after the sendai colony, but I saw her standing with the group too?? I thought she would do something, but these next few chapters will tell something hopefully. Kashimo is in an interesting position as well since he wants to fight sukuna, so that's another thing. I could really see him leaving early and fighting sukuna already 🤣

Another question, but now that sukuna has megumi's ct, do you think him using it against gojo later would put him in a different light than if he didn't have it? Sukuna is pretty arrogant and confident in his strength and we still don't have 20 finger sukuna, but I always felt like him obtaining the ten shadows to add to his arsenal would make him seem like he knows he needs it to defeat gojo if he uses both his cts and that would mean he thinks hes not strong enough on his own and that doesn't seem to fit. If he fights gojo, I'm not sure gege would go the same route again with sukuna using only the 10S against gojo to make it seem like defeat by one of his students is his ending, so perhaps he may just use Shrine and if he believes he can win, then later he would use the 10S to create his world. I ask this because gojo vs sukuna is also the fated gojo vs zenin fight and what would it be without the six eyes plus 10S, so it's a mystery of how it'll all be handled.

I do think giving the antagonists, especially kenjaku prepping time will bite them in the ass.

Looool, this is how far behind I am on returning mail. HOLA! Welcome back anon 🥲.

Thanks for the Megumi love. The Megumi love is always indeed precious. There's seriously something about Megumi fans.

I believe yuji will play a big role in defeating kenjaku.

Ok but everything you wrote on this topic... yes.

let's keep nerding out under the cut.

Ehem... I actually totally forgot Kenny is Yuji's momdad.

This is a super weird tangent, but lately I saw a sign advertising 60k in exchange for becoming a surrogate mother and I considered it for a whole minute. My biggest concern with this would be getting attached to the child and then feeling a gaping hole about the kid for the rest of my life.

So I 300% agree about how significant it is that Kenny went through pregnancy for the sake of hishertheir plans. That's commitment.

I've seen what babies do to the body, now imagine Kenny having to fight sorcerers with morning sickness.

That's commitment.

As of right now, I don't mind who defeats kenjaku lol which is a shame for me. I know others would be upset (I understand) if his defeat was by someone other than yuji.

Anyways, I don't personally have any thoughts on who'd kill Kenny but there's defo a theme of patricide/matricide with Choso and Yuji. So, I wonder whether someone here is going to kill their mother/father, whether metaphorically or figuratively.

On the topic of Kenny, I love how much thought you've put into it lol. You're so right, there's several characters out for Kenny's neck rn and anyone could literally be the one to kill Kenny. My best guess is that Gege will milk this for angst purposes lol.

Ok, what about Tengen?! Tengen is sus, but not like when I used to think Hana was sus lol. Like... there's something going on there between Kenny and Tengen that we are being kept in the dark about.

miwa looked so ominous during her walk after the sendai colony

MAN. I really wanted to see Miwa not be useless. But I guess she's another victim of side character syndrome. Such a shame, really, but I guess I can't expect for every character to get the same amount of air time.

Kashimo is in an interesting position as well since he wants to fight sukuna, so that's another thing

You know what this feels like? It feels like Gege is playing chess with us. あの猫！

I had also forgotten about Kashi omg. I just wonder whether Kashi stands a chance against Sukuna. Anyways, as you say, here's another contender for killing Sukuna too.

but now that sukuna has megumi's ct, do you think him using it against gojo later would put him in a different light than if he didn't have it? Sukuna is pretty arrogant and confident in his strength and we still don't have 20 finger sukuna, but I always felt like him obtaining the ten shadows to add to his arsenal would make him seem like he knows he needs it to defeat gojo if he uses both his cts and that would mean he thinks hes not strong enough on his own and that doesn't seem to fit.

You know, this whole time I've been thinking Gojo might be the one to loose (his clothing choices aside) because he's arrogant about his abilities. But you're so right about Sukuna being arrogant af too.

That's why I loved seeing him struggle in ch 223.

Like he's realizing he has to take Gojo seriously.

Anyways, these two crazies are about to go at it and I'm looking forward to it.

But also... I don't know if I'm understanding you right, but it seems as though you're wondering whether Sukuna's interest in Megumi was because he needed 10 shadows to defeat Gojo/become the strongest?

I see what you mean.

I was also wondering whether Sukuna is a ct hoarder since he opens and closes something when he deploys ct that is different to his usual domain expansion.

I ask this because gojo vs sukuna is also the fated gojo vs zenin fight and what would it be without the six eyes plus 10S, so it's a mystery of how it'll all be handled.

This. I mean... so far Sukuna has shown us he has an uncanny ability to manipulate 10 shadows in a way that Megumi had not begun to comprehend yet. Argh... I just hope that if it comes down to it, if Gojo has to die, let it be at Megumi's hands, not Sukuna's.

I need to see Megumi save himself.

I do think giving the antagonists, especially kenjaku prepping time will bite them in the ass.

This was honestly a bit of a cop out for me with how Gege handled Gojo. Like Gojo literally just said "oh ok, sure, let's not fight rn". I hope he has a plan lol.

Thanks for the Megumi love 🥺.

[asphodelical]

The Great Anime Rewatch of 2022 - Part IV

Bokurano

First watched/read: October 2011 Rewatched/reread: June 2022

Original rating (manga): 9 New rating (manga): 6

Original rating (anime): 8 New rating (anime): 6

Of all the Evangelion-spawns, I distinctly remember liking Bokurano the most. I also remembered that the anime and manga are two very different creatures, but only one crucial change stuck with me these last eleven years. So I ended up revisiting both versions. Let’s start with the manga, since I know I liked that version more back in 2011. 

One of the things I realized is that Bokurano’s storytelling doesn’t work on me anymore. We only learn everyone’s backstories after they’re selected to be the next pilot, giving us only a few chapters to get to know each kid. For a lot of people, this is a surefire way for an emotional gut punch. But I still feel like I don’t know them well enough to care. Bokurano also doesn’t exactly focus on the relationship the kids have with each other, and I wish it did. It also doesn’t allow the cast to grieve or cope with the continuous losses of their friends. There were also a couple of things that really rubbed me the wrong way and/or felt very dated. I.E. Maki’s tired ass story of trying to be more feminine, and the author putting her in the most inappropriate-borderline fetishy leotard. Don’t do that shit. Onto the anime. 

It’s always interesting when a director is helming a project where they have no love for the source material. — Bokurano’s anime took more time with the kids and their backstories. A lot of them changed, and some got way more screentime than others. But it occasionally fixed the problem I had with the manga—the one where it didn’t focus on the relationship between all the main kids. This was exemplified in episode 11, where all the female pilots got together in one scene. It was small, but it’s more things like that that I wanted. It still doesn’t allow the pilots to grieve/cope over the continuous losses, but at least the cast interacts more. 

On the other hand, it adds a lot of generic nameless politicians talking about Zearth that I’m sure no one actually cares about. 

Unsurprisingly, the CG doesn’t hold up at all. The music was often distracting, and some of it was just bad. The bookend songs by Ishikawa Chiaki are still great though. 

Looking at both versions of Bokurano, my opinions on them clearly worsened. The manga is more focused, but formulaic. The anime spends more time on the group dynamic, but has lots of padding with politics and added characters I don’t care about. I’d say the anime over the manga though, since the two final pilots get way better endings than their manga counterparts. But overall, I just feel the same way about both, with no clear winner. And that’s kind of sad. 

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Steins;Gate

First watched: 2011, original airdate Rewatched: June 2022

Original rating: 8 New rating:  7

Let me start with this: the archetype and term “trap” is woefully outdated and transphobic. I haven’t been involved with the anime/manga fandom in many moons, but I hope that the term is no longer used. Hopefully the derogatory interpretation of the archetype is also on its way out, too. Onto the assessment.

Time travel stories are almost always about trying to fix the mistakes the time traveler made by accident. Steins;Gate is no exception, but this time a portion of the cast is actually intelligent: Kurisu, Daru, Suzuha, and, most importantly,  Okabe. 

Okabe is such a strong protagonist and he’s a joy to watch. Watching his mad scientist persona merge with his actual self as he jumps back in time more and more is terrifying and I love it. Since Steins;Gate is a VN adaptation, we’re pretty much glued to Okabe’s POV for the entire show. I don’t mind since he’s great, but it leaves no room to see any of the other cast members on their own, or interacting with each other when Okabe isn’t around. 

The other issue is that there are only a couple of other characters who are remotely interesting: Suzuha and Kurisu. Both of these girls have personalities and agency within the story. Suzuha has one of the strongest motives in the show, second to only Okabe. Faris and Ruka have understandable and relatable desires, but as characters they are throwaway. Moeka is the worst to watch—a girl so damaged that she’s a slave to someone she doesn’t know and only communicates with via texts. Daru is an otaku archetype and ruins his only emotional moment with his own pervertedness. 

And Mayuri…oh, Mayuri. She has no wants, goals, and little agency. I had absolutely no reason to care about her, and never understood why Okabe cared about her to such a great extent, aside from being childhood friends. The birth of Okabe’s mad scientist persona could’ve easily been changed to be a coping mechanism for his own grief.

The weakness of of being a harem VN adaptation really showed from episodes 17 and 18, when Faris and Ruka were throwing themselves at Okabe, and he was going on dates in back to back episodes. Of course Okabe genuinely likes both of them as friends, but he only did it so he could get them to willingly undo their own actions. For Faris, this means losing her dad, who died in an accident ten years ago. Faris loses all that time with her father who loves her, while the man himself never survives and sees his daughter grow up. In Ruka’s case, it means not being female anymore, and going back to being a boy. Imagine asking a trans person to go back to their pre-transition self. That’s really not it for me, chief. 

I really dislike the idea of someone trying to make others sacrifice their own happiness for the sake of one childhood friend/moeblob. “But wait, it’s also to prevent SERN from achieving world corporate domination!” Yes, it is. But Okabe specifically states he’s not doing all of this to save the world—he’s doing it to save Mayuri. 

Steins;Gate is a slow and deliberately paced anime. I had forgotten some of the reveals, and a lot of them still work. Its slow pacing also started to tire me out by the latter half. Overall, Steins;Gate is still one of the best VN adaptations out there. Its animation still looks fine, and the storytelling is more than competent. But the lack of depth/nuance in most of the cast, and the message of robbing others of their own happiness to save one person really does the show in. 

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Un-Go

First watched: December 2011, original airdate  Rewatched: June 2022

Original rating: 7 New rating:  5

I don’t have a lot to say here. The first two episodes are absolute garbage, while the rest of the mysteries are fundamentally uninteresting. All of the world building with the war didn’t work for me, and I couldn’t care less about the characters. Inga’s power feels more like a a video game mechanic than anything. 

__________________________________

Outlaw Star

First watched: I have no idea Rewatched: June 2022

Original rating: 8 New rating: 3

This one hurts. 

Outlaw Star feels like an embodiment of 90s anime, for better or for worse. The character designs and tropes are all things that feel like relics. (Aisha Clan Clan in particular.) There are lots of things that didn’t age well, like Fred. Wow, what a terrible gay stereotype character. But Outlaw Star is plagued with a lot of foundational problems: 

The story and pacing - The first four episodes are undoubtedly the strongest in my opinion. Quick pacing and lots of intrigue surrounding Hilda, the coolest character in the show. Then after episode four, when Hilda leaves the story, the tone and pacing are all over the place. I guess the central conflict was getting to the Galactic Leyline and discovering Melfina’s origins. But there’s a huge gap in the middle section where nothing relating to either of these things is brought up at all. It’s like the writers had a bunch of ideas on a dartboard and picked whatever they landed on. Most of the episodes have nothing of consequence occur. If something important does happen, it only takes up a few minutes of a full length episode. (I.E. Episode 18: we get some talk about the Galactic Leyline and the man behind Hilda’s death, and then we go to cringy space wrestling? What?) This leads into the other main problem I have: 

The characters - the central five cast members are not strong enough to carry the story when nothing of interest is happening. Their antics are dull, and we don’t really learn anything about anyone. Gene conquered his fear within the first third, and Melfina wanted to discover her origins. As for Jim, Suzuka and Aisha? I don’t know enough about their wants, needs, or fears to care. Aisha is a walking, talking stereotype, and Suzuka doesn’t fare much better. (Neither does Melfina, honestly.) No one really has an arc or tangible development. AH WHY? Why did we all think this was the coolest shit back then?

With all that negativity out of the way, I have to say I still really enjoy the music. The opening song is still an absolute banger, and the ending songs are still lovely. But if the opening and ending are where my enjoyment peak, that’s not a very good thing. Nostalgia absolutely did not cloud my judgement here. 

[violettelueur]

— FUSHIGURO MEGUMI + INUMAKI TOGE || THEIR S/O TURNING INTO BABIES/TODDLERS

↳ featuring : fushiguro megumi + inumaki toge from jujutsu kaisen

↳ warnings : grammar issues

↳ form : headcanons

↳ published : 16 february

↳ pronouns : mainly for she/her 

↳ request : How will inumaki , yuta( if you write for him ) andfushiguro react to their female turning into a child because of a cure or something and being afraid of themI really need fluff after chapter 137

↳ barista’s notes : let me admit, i went a little off the rails with this one ʕ ㅇ ᴥ ㅇʔ but that’s okay! other than that, i hope you enjoy your cup of classic black coffee (jujutsu kaisen request!) and you are welcomed back any time soon ʕ•ᴥ•ʔﾉ♡

When Fushiguro found you in a child form, it was probably when he woke up to find a random child sleeping next to him - which he sure you were - before sitting up in surprise at the discovery.

You’ll probably wake up to the sudden movement and to find an erratic-haired boy looking down at you with widened eyes is pretty scary to any child and you’ll probably hide behind the blankets as protection.

He will text Itadori and Kugisaki to come to his room and once they arrived, they are shocked as Fushiguro is but the weird thing is, you seem to be more open with them than you are with your boyfriend - it’s Itadori’s smile, I know it is.

You will let both of them carry you but once they make you turn to face Fushiguro, you just hide your face in the crook of their necks or hide behind their legs with pending tears in your eyes - lowkey, Fushiguro is hurt.

Itadori will mention Fushiguro to relax his facial expression and be more gentle but that somehow is gonna be a long lesson.

Kugisaki will dress you up in the cutest outfits and spin you around in glee at how adorable you look to her - you are basically her doll.

They probably remember you getting hit with something during last night's mission but it seemed to do no damage to you, so you all left it alone until now - Ieiri probably said it will last for like a day or so.

Gojo will find you the most adorable and will hold you the most out of all the first-year (Nanami will take you away from him) and he finds it really hilarious that you are scared of Fushiguro.

Fushiguro will summon his divine dogs or rabbits to make you come closer to him and they love your new form since they recognise your scent and you just look adorable to them - they will let you cuddle when with all your heart's content.

It is when Fushiguro kneels down to your height and holds his hand out flat, he tries to get close to you (since you are occupied with the dogs/rabbits) - you know when an owner asks his dog for its paw…..yeah….

Itadori and Kugisaki will complain about his technique and mention to him that you are not a dog but when you cutely place your hand on top of his after some hesitation, suddenly your fear of him disappears and your attention is just on him.

When you look up to see his green eyes, you will mention how pretty they are and you’ll want him to carry you so you can get a closer look at them.

“Pwetty Mimi!” you stated (hands are probably on his cheeks) when Fushiguro finally carried you in his arms and he will start to blush profusely before you wrap your arms around his neck in complete happiness - wow...he’s not so scary now is he? 

You are quite affectionate as a child and will probably hold him really tight, lay your head on his shoulders, play with his hair in fascination and probably stare at his face.

After that you will refuse anyone else to carry you, even Maki tried and you were adamant that Fushiguro was the only one that could hold you - he is prideful of this but won’t express it.

When 24 hours go by and you wake up in your original form, expect Fushiguro to ask you if you want children in the future or something about waiting until you are both 30 to have them - Itadori, Kugisaki and Gojo will show you the many pictures and videos they have taken and will show you many videos of you being scared of Fushiguro to tease him.

Just like Fushiguro, when Inumaki wakes up to a random child on his bed, he will be extremely surprised but will probably fall down from his bed in shock.

When he gets up and takes a proper look at the child, he realises that it is you but now you are awake and looking at him with widened and teary eyes - a guy with weird symbols on his mouth is quite scary in my opinion.

The best person for Inumaki to call is Maki since he is worried that you will find a huge panda - who is a cursed doll - scary.

So when Maki arrives and sees a smaller version of you, she will instantly look at you with a soft look before carrying you in her arms - you seem to take a quite liking to her as you show her a bright small.

This little interaction between you and Maki makes Inumaki a little jealous since you are his significant other.

Inumaki and Maki will take you to Ieiri only to remember that you were hit with a technique with no damage, so they assumed that was the cause for your change - Ieiri will tell everyone that the change is temporary and that in 24 hours, you’ll be back to normal.

When you meet Panda, you have the same reaction as you did with Maki - much to Inumaki’s surprise - and he would carry you on his shoulders since that’s what kids love.

Panda is the type to throw you into the sky before catching you, causing you to giggle loudly and it is quite fun for you since you are high in the air and all that.

When the first-years meet you, they are really shouted to see their strong sorcerer of a senior to be a form of a small child but find you really adorable, you also made Fushiguro smile which caused Maki to be surprised.

Probably when you weren’t scared of Inumaki anymore was when he caught you after Panda threw you too high into the sky and you saw him as your hero - Maki will scream at Panda for his carelessness.

After that, you were struck right by Inumaki’s side and he found that really adorable since you were now so small and just plainly adorable - you really love gently patting your small hands on his marks that he has with concentrated glassy eyes. 

You really like being carried on his shoulder since - you wanna see the whole world~ - and it’s weirdly comfortable to lay your head on top of his head when you feel like it.

His hair is really soft just like a pillow.

When the adults see you, Gojo will take many pictures and give you candy while Nanami will try to stop his senior since he doesn’t want his behaviour to influence you.

Inumaki will probably love taking some pictures of you especially when you are eating something like an onigiri - you will also find it confusing why he says what he says before just leaving it and calling him ‘weird’

When the 24 hours are up, Inumaki will probably explain everything to you before Maki and Panda rush in to make sure you are back to normal - they will ask you to pull you a photo album with your baby pictures since they really want to know what you looked like as a child (they want to know if you would look the same as you did before). Inumaki will ask if you want children and when you want them since he really thinks your children would look really adorable.

© violettelueur 2021 : written and published by violettelueur - do not steal or repost

[laindir]

JJK0 movie musings

I finally watched the movie yesterday! So, cross-posting some brief thoughts/impressions I’ve keysmashed last night on twatter over here too.

But lol if I could sum up my entire feelings during the movie, it’d just be:

More tl;dr spoilery thoughts under cut

It’s a pretty faithful and decent adaptation of Volume 0 with a lot of extra battle scenes and character cameos during the Hyakki Yagyou, mostly for “padding” lol. Not that it’s a bad thing; we got to see some really cool action and battle sequences.

One of my favourite things about the OP is how much detail we got of the dorm life in Jujutech! It’s not a very long opening, but it still provided enough of a glimpse into the students’ daily lives outside of their studies/training/missions: they have basic sleepwear/loungewear (?) provided if needed, common bathrooms, meals provided (this we also know from the fanbook Q&A/Akutami’s interviews) in a very traditional dining hall/room, and the dorms/living quarters seem like a good walk away from the main school building itself - which isn’t really all that surprising, considering how Jujutech is fashioned after old Buddhist temples/Shinto shrines.

Megumi Ogata’s voice work as Yuuta is SO, SO GOOD… It’s not that I went to watch the movie without ever hearing her voice work in the trailers, but when I finally heard Yuuta speaking and listened to his first lines in the opening scene (like, really listened to it within the context of the movie, and just experiencing the scenes first-hand) and in his first interaction with Maki, Panda and Toge, it’s like you could really feel it, that sense of “Ah, yes, this is how Yuuta sounds like, just as I’d pictured in my mind…” Ogata really expresses his character well, all of his anxieties, fears, and later on, his anger and resolve.

HanaKana also plays Rika really well, perfectly capturing the duality of Rika’s sweet innocence in Yuuta’s memories and her dark possessiveness of Yuuta in her cursed form.

The humour is solid too, I enjoyed the interactions between second-years (well, they’re first-years in Vol 0) a lot! It made me miss the jjk anime and radio dramas/jujusanpos so much :__) The seiyuus all did a really great job with the characterisations overall!

Lol Maki’s “I’m going to destroy the Zenin from within” really brings back that same feeling of satisfaction whenever we spot the small references/callbacks that links the jjk anime to the current weekly chapters.

Watching the movie also reminded me how nice it is to see young male characters looking up to a female character as a role model, not just in terms of empathy and kindness but also in terms of strength and resolve. Even though there were some Yuuta/Maki shipteasing moments played up for the comedy (thanks to Panda lol), it didn’t overshadow how Yuuta respects Maki first for her character and determination, and cares for her as a person, friend and fellow sorcerer – instead of just because she was a possible new love interest. Much like how Megumi admires and looks up Tsumiki’s kindness and empathy for others, and thus subconsciously tries to emulate that in his own way. It’s something that JJK does well and it’s refreshing to see in shounen because this is usually a role we see played by an older male figure or an adult mentor, instead of a female character who is close to the male MC’s age.

Gojou is still obnoxiously annoying. LOL. I mean, I do enjoy him quite a bit here too, but if he was my teacher/co-worker, I would have the exact same thoughts as Yuuta’s “Isn’t it the teacher who’s causing the real problems here !!??”

Still, if Gojou is annoying, then I find the real Getou is even more OBNOXIOUS LMFAOOO… It’s nice to finally see him with all his haughtiness and condescending posturing as the zany, zealous cult leader, even though I really wanted to punch him too hhdbdkffkkdjs (I say this with mild affection too since I do like and appreciate all the characters, even those who aren’t a particular favourite of mine roflll). Sakurai plays him very effectively.

This again, makes me certain that, yes, I do actually like Gojou as a character a bit more than Getou (strange, I know, lol). Maybe it’s because Gojou reads like someone who is more true to himself, whereas Getou feels at times like he revels more in being misunderstood/wronged, and uses this as one (of many) “reason/excuse” to continue down his path of Esotericism…. I’m not articulating this well (it’s late lol), but for all of Gojou being the “strongest” and furthest away from normal humans, he has a similar sense of straightforward expression of his self and a humility of what he can/cannot do that is reminiscent of Megumi’s (to me at least). Getou was just emo and prejudiced lol…. yes, I’m oversimplifying things, but this is a late-night meta keysmash based on personal feelings, so please don’t take my interpretation too seriously lol.

Also, for some reason, even though he carries himself with poise and superiority, I feel like Getou doesn’t have same elegance and self-assurance that both Kenjaku and Sukuna seem to naturally possess, though that’s probably more because Kenjaku and Sukuna have existed since the golden age of jujutsu during the Heian period. I like seeing the contrast and this attention to detail in the visuals, though; it really hammers in the difference between Getou and Kenjaku, right down to the smallest body language.

The pacing leading up to the climax/ending (with the scene cuts alternating between the Yuuta and Getou’s fight in Jujutech and the other sorcerer battles with the curses running amok in Shinjuku and Kyoto) felt a bit rushed?? at some points… Or rather, the transition between scenes didn’t feel as seamless at times, though I’m not sure how they could have shown the parallel fights any other way. It wasn’t bad though and it was nice to see more of the battles that featured the other sorcerers, instead of just wholly focusing on Gojou being flashy on his own as he fought Miguel.

NANAMINNN THO AAAAAAAAA… The way he stepped in to save the younger sorcerers who were getting mowed down by curses too powerful for them ;___;  I wish his Black Flash battle scenes had been longer, it felt too short afjdkgljvs

Kyoto kids had some battle cameos too. Toudou’s fight with the special-grade curse was hinted at but never actually shown in full… yeah lol.

The Pure Love scene and Yuuta’s lines leading up to him offering all of himself to Rika to break her cursed energy limits… SO MUCH FEELS AND TEARS… This was definitely the highlight of the movie and the soundtrack here was amazing.

Just… YUUTAAAAAAA … !!!! DARK-HAIRED SHOUNENS WHO ARE BLAND ON THE OUTSIDE BUT ACTUALLY BADASS BAMF ON THE INSIDE SUPREMACY….!!! LOL

I liked the flashbacks of Gojou and Getou’s past friendship too (the Hidden Inventory crumbs lol) and the hints of their gradual falling out. I’ve never really been emotionally invested in the ship though, so I guess their moments didn’t really hit me as much.

We still don’t get to hear what Gojou’s last words to Getou was, since his (Gojou) dialogue was silenced then, just like in the manga - you can only see his lips moving very briefly.

But if I were to hazard a guess, and if we look at Getou’s line of thought/words in his final moments and the flow of the scene: - “No matter what, I’ll always hate those monkeys” → “But I didn’t hate anyone in Jujutech” → “It’s just that in this world, I could never truly smile/be happy from the bottom of my heart.” - So, the reply Gojou could have countered with and offered then is probably → “Lies (You liar)… We were (happy) smiling (together) back then, right?” → “I know (this) because you’re my best friend.”

Also, Gojou’s lip movement really looked like he began the sentence with “ Uso / 嘘 ” (Lies/Liar). And I think Gojou understands Getou's true nature and his ideals intimately and well enough, however twisted they might have turned over the years, more so than Getou gives him credit for... so I do think Gojou could always tell when Getou was at his happiest and truly smiling from the bottom of his heart. That’s my guess to what he said, or something along those lines. Anyway, iirc Akutami also hinted in the fanbook (I think??) that whatever Gojou said to Getou was also mentioned elsewhere in Vol 0, so it couldn’t be anything too wildly different.

I forgot there was a post-credit scene just before I went for the movie, even though I’d seen brief spoilers for it on twitter lol. Yuuta enjoying Kenyan food with Miguel was super cute… Most of the other viewers in the cinema I was in were so confused by the scene though (I heard their puzzled noises/questions), I guess they must be anime-onlys and to be fair, I don’t think you could really understand the post-credits without any context on its own like that.

Ok this keysmashing got waaaay longer than I’d meant for lmfaooo. But yeah, JJK0 was good and entertaining enough !! I might go for another second viewing because I really enjoyed seeing Yuuta and Maki&co.'s interactions, so I don't mind rewatching those moments again… the Tokyo kids are always so cute, I lvoe them :__)

[ryqoshay]

OTP Ask Meme (Impatient Edition) NicoMaki

Yeah, I know the point of these things is to wait for followers to Ask questions from the list, but reading though this one got me thinking too much. And, as the title implies, I got impatient and wanted to answer them all. Right away.

Anyway, credit to @lonelypond​ for this version coming across my dash. Reblog that version if you want to do this thing correctly.

Also, just because I’ve already answered these here, I’ve expanded on some for various reasons and left others short if I believe the reasons are obvious. So if you still want to do the whole interactive thing, you can still ask for clarification or whatever.

And finally, there will be spoilers ahead for How to Handle a Nico, both scenes I’ve written and posted, as well as some that remain in my Notes and WIP Warehouse. I’ll try to remember to link to the chapters mentioned.

1. Who wakes up first?

Nico, so she can make breakfast for her Maki.

2. Who wants to stay in bed just a little longer?

Maki. Usually because she studies or works later and/or longer hours. She is also not above pulling Nico back into bed when she comes to wake her.

3. Who takes longer getting ready?

Usually Nico.

4. When they can’t sleep, what do they do?

Maki’s libido can pretty much always be counted on to at least exhaust Nico, if not both of them.

5. Who falls asleep while watching a movie?

Depends on who had a rough day or week at work/school, though Maki may get bored and either watch Nico or fall asleep during overly sappy romance movies.

6. Who falls asleep last, watching the other with a small affectionate smile?

Either, depending on the stresses of the prior day.

7. Who comes up with the cheesy pick-up lines?

Nico intentionally. Maki unintentionally.

8. Who gets extremely competitive playing Mario Kart?

They both are, though in different ways. This is depicted in Consolation Prize.

9. Who accidentally pushes a door instead of pulling?

Maki, especially if she is in an unfamiliar place.

10. Who sets the other’s ringtone to something loud and obnoxious behind their back?

Both, though Maki only in retaliation for whatever teasing Nico may have done.

11. Who rearranges the bookshelf/DVD shelf in alphabetical order?

Nico likes a proper presentation of her idol merch. Maki is too busy with other stuff to care about special organization.

12. Who does the hands-over-the-eyes “Guess Who” thing?

Nico.

13. Who points out a dog when they see one?

Either.

14. Who’s prone to road rage?

Maki, especially when she is trying to get to the hospital when called in at some odd hour, or trying to get home after a stressful day.

15. Who’s prone to wearing socks indoor (or to sleep)?

Nico gets cold easier. Warm socks help.

16. Who reminds the other to put on sunscreen before going to the beach (or pool)?

Nico, partly out of habit from doing it with her siblings and partly as an excuse to offer to help Maki put it on. Depicted in Sunscreen.

17. Who carries all the important documents while traveling?

Nico.

18. Who gets the window seat?

Nico. Maki traveled enough with her parents and is happy to let her girlfriend see the sights instead.

19. Who puts their cold hands/feet on the other?

Nico intentionally. Maki unintentionally, usually.

20. What do they argue about the most?

I don’t believe anyone has been brave enough to track the data for this.

21. Who’s clumsier?

Maki, especially in the kitchen. Nico has her moments though.

22. Who texts more often?

Nico. With heavy emoji use. (I need to depict this more in HtHaN somehow)

23. Who is better with kids?

Nico. She was the primary caregiver for her siblings for many years after all.

24. Who’s the better cook?

Nico. See above.

25. Who mistakes salt for sugar?

Maki. Even after Nico labeled the containers.

26. Who puts the fork in the microwave?

Maki.

27. Who cooks at 2 in the morning?

Nico. Maki isn’t allowed to cook without Nico’s supervision. However, this would be a rare occasion as Nico typically will prepare something ahead of when Maki is arriving home this late and leave it for her to reheat.

28. Who lets the microwave play the loud beeping sound at 1 a.m.?

Maki, when she’s reheating whatever Nico made for her after arriving home late.

29. Who licks the spoon when they’re baking brownies?

Both.

30. Who likes doing the dishes?

Nico, though it would be more appropriate to say she doesn’t dislike it.

31. Who has bigger cravings? What are they?

Nico loves her sweets. Maki loves her Nico.

32. Who remembers what the other one always orders at a restaurant?

Nico is highly attentive to Maki’s preferences in food. Knowing what Maki likes in restaurants lets her know what she can make at home. And food is definitely one of the best ways to Maki’s heart.

33. How do they eat ice cream? What’s their favorite flavors?

Nico likes sundaes with lots of sugary toppings. She also likes trying new flavors and will often get multiple scoops of different flavors. Maki is fine with a single scoop cone.

34. Do they go on dates? What are they like?

As often as their schedules allow. Maki likes quite dates like walks in a park or museum or sitting up on a hillside for stargazing. Nico likes shopping for outfits and idol merch, going to movies and bustling amusement parks. But both love watching the other enjoy their hobbies so they’re willing to go along with the other’s interests as well.

35. What do they smell when they smell Amortentia?

Nico smells her father’s aftershave, strawberries, and stewing tomatoes. Maki smells Nico’s special tomato curry, Nico’s shampoo, and the cinnamon sugar of the snickerdoodle cookies the Nishikino baker made for her to leave out for Santa.

Yes, two of Maki’s are directly related to Nico. What can I say? She’s addicted.

36. Which one is the secret snuggler?

Maki. The more tired or drunk she is, the clingier she gets.

37. Which one offers their jacket to the other when they complain they feel cold?

Maki. Nico gets cold easier, so Maki is usually the one to offer her jacket.

38. Who reaches for the other one’s hand while driving?

Yes.

39. Who leaves little notes in the other one’s lunch?

Nico, because she is the only one who makes lunch for them both; Maki isn’t the type to do such a thing even if she were allowed to cook more. (Bonus: What does it say?) Usually the messages are simple affirmations of love, but she is not above getting snarky if the two had an argument recently.

40. Who is the most affectionate?

Nico in public. Maki in private.

41. Who is the big spoon/little spoon?

Usually, Maki is the big spoon as she is quite fond of hugging her Nico like a teddy bear, though Nico will sometimes jetpack.

42. What is their favorite feature of their partner?

Maki loves Nico’s smile, particularly her genuine, unforced, non-idol persona smile. Nico loves Maki’s voice, specifically her singing voice.

43. What is the first thing that changes when they realize they have feelings for the other?

Nico starts teasing Maki more, no longer to “put the spoiled rich girl in her place” but rather to see more of the adorable reactions. Maki actively tries to deny her feelings, even to, or perhaps especially to herself, falling back on established habits of insisting that she doesn’t have time to date, all the while quietly continuing to seek more time with Nico.

44. What are their nicknames for each other?

Both exclusively use -chan with the other.

45. Who worries the most? Over what?

Early on, both are worried about losing the other for different reasons. Nico is afraid that should a scandal occur that ruins her idol career, Maki may blame herself and leave. Maki fears that a busy schedule of studying in medical school followed by long hours at the hospital may turn away someone like Nico, whose attention seeking seems infinite. Later, as they settle into their relationship, their concerns turn to more stereotypical adult fears; traffic or transit accidents, sever illnesses, etc.

46. Who initiates kisses?

Nico in public. Maki in private.

47. Who says I love you first? How did it happen?

Nico, by accident, as depicted in Spoken.

48. Who tells their friends/family about their relationship first?

Technically Maki in both cases, though with their friends, Nico was active in the chatroom, and with their mothers, Maki only beat Nico by maybe half an hour or so. These instances are depicted in Reconstructed Reunion and Telling Mama.

49. What do they do when they’re away from each other?

Both have busy schedules, even as early as the years immediately following high school, so spending time away from each other is quite commonplace. This still did not stop Maki from going through a bout of depression during Nico’s first tour as a professional idol, as depicted in Homesick and Homecoming. From then on, Maki starts a tradition of visiting Nico during longer tours so as to break up their time away a bit.

50. Who gets overwhelmed by small acts of kindness?

Nico, as the more romantic of the two. This isn’t to say Maki doesn’t value sentiment, she just has other ways of expressing it than being overwhelmed.

[dangan-meme-palace]

I'd like that person to elaborate on how kaede would have been a great influence for shuichi or even maki. the more time goes on the more I feel like I'm the only one person in the fandom who wants both of them to live. and who thinks kaede can help with shuichi's arc. maybe we share opinions on that and I feel so alone with my takes I'm withering away here lol. tech if it happens that you like them both alive too you need to tell us about it, though if you don't like it, it's alright :)

On one hand I want them both to die to save them from the writers, but in a perfect world where the writers can be trusted to write I would like them to be co-protags. Whatever synergy they were having in Chapter 1 was really nice and if the story had stayed like that I think I would have really enjoyed it.

Below is how I would reimagine V3 for the sake of Kaede's survival if you're interested in an answer beyond just this ^^

Kaede and Shuichi: Co-tag Duo!

Kaede's ruthless optimismTM could be tempered by Shuichi's deductive reasoning and vice versa. It's only when he became Kaito's friend that Shuichi lost his (much needed) edge and he became more of a problem than a protag, but if Kaede were there he wouldn't become friends with Kaito in the first place so that's a problem solved.

I do think that if they were going to be co-protags, co-tags if you will, that Shuichi would need to be able to assert his opinions a bit more. One interaction where I think that he did this well was when Shuichi was trying to tell Kaede about the possibility of a traitor and she initially defaulted to her optimism before he calmly and logically explained it to her and managed to convince her of the possibility.

I think that having a man be the calm, logical one while the woman is the irrational, emotional one is a Bit (very) cliched and kinda bullshit, but working off of their characters that's really the best I got. The dynamic between Makoto and Kyoko is like the exact reverse of this so just think of a role reversal for those two if you need help imagining what my version of our co-tag duo would be like dynamic-wise, although I don't think Shuichi would be quite as cold and that Kaede would still be solid like Kyoko while Shuichi would remain weak like Makoto.

(Chapter 1 is the best example of this dynamic that I can give you but it's also the only example I can give you...)

Gameplay-wise I would have liked the option to pick either of them as my player character and play as that one throughout the game, then replay it as the other one to see how differently they saw things from one another in their internal monologues and seperate bonus events (FTEs, LHEs, SMEs) with the others and maybe some seperate hidden events as well. That makes the game a whole lot bigger, provides more content, and gives it better replayability than the original.

Maki and Kaede

I don't think Kaede and Maki would get along very well in the canon killing game, so I disagreed with that. Maki seemed to not like Kaede very much, which in turn made Kaede feel upset and guilty. That's not entirely a bad thing though, because the more Kaede's natural choices are tempered by outside factors the better.

Rather than having Maki be helped by Kaede I think Kaede should be inadvertently helped by Maki's remarks, with Maki becoming more like a fed-up babysitter (or in Maki's case, an Ultimate Caregiver) who points out the obvious to people like Kaede, Kaito, and Tenko (who all have moments where their emotions blind them to the truth) with no remorse instead of becoming a waifu prop.

I don't think she would be very chummy without her canonical character arc, but narratively not only do I think her arc wasn't necessary, I think she could have done a lot more if she were left alone or only had a small development

(okay you're all idiots, but you're my idiots, now for the love of christ stop trying to set shit on fire!!)

Maki works very well as a logical force because she's established as blunt and unafraid of telling people exactly what she thinks of them and their stupid ideas (until the writers scrap all that for waifu propism). Plus, since murder, especially sneaky murder, is literally her business of course she would be more informed than the rest about it, which gives her a reasonably good authority to tell people like Kaede off. (Think Byakuya but better and less holier-than-thou)

I don't see a good reason to take any of that away from her when it would work so well with her character to just leave her be. Her arc with Kaito kinda feels like a downgrade compared to what she could of been as I'm envisioning it. I mean, it's always been a downgrade, but especially when I think about how her character pre-development wouldn't have made the same mistakes as Maki post-development (like ch5, which was almost completely her fault)

Kaito, Kaede, and Maki

Kaito wouldn't and shouldn't be changed as a character, but only because if I were writing V3 I would want to use him as an example of what Kaede needs to try not to become, a reason for her to change and an example of what Not to do. I would want people to look at Kaito and go "oh shit Kaede could have been like that if she hadn't had a character arc about Not being like that" and appreciate Kaede and her growth even more for not ending up like him or repeating his mistakes.

Instead of having Kaito be a supporting character that acts like he's borderline the hidden protagonist of V3, he would end up being a well-intentioned antagonist. Accidentally causing problems like he does in canon, but this time we point out that these problems are, in fact, problems and that they are, in fact, his fault and use Kaede as a way to show what he could have done better and Kaito as a way to show what Kaede could have done worse.

+ maybe we throw in some verbal dressing downs from Maki because I think she would be the perfect antithesis of Kaito and that it's a shame she wasn't utilized as such in the game. If Kaede's role is "Kaito but Better" because she had people to help guide her in the right direction and Listening to them was her much needed point of growth (as the complete narrative rejection of Kaito's more self-centered approach) then Maki would be "The Opposite of Kaito" and point out all of his flaws from the other side/point of view.

Sometimes it takes one to know one, but other times having someone around with a completely different worldview and mindset point things out can make all the difference, and while Kaito wouldn't listen, Kaede would be listening (even if it wasn't always directed at her specifically) because she recognizes Kaito's flaws in herself and genuinely wants to improve herself (for her own sake and the sake of everyone's survival) by purging those flaws from herself. Self-improvement Queen!

I also think he should die. He needs to cause a bit of tension and conflict as the antag, but since we are trying to prove that Kaito is Bad and that his thinking is Dangerous, all of that previous conflict needs to come to a head with Kaito facing the consequences of his own actions and getting his comeuppance. This should also be the start of Kaede's final stages of development as this would be her ultimate proof that she Cannot keep acting the same way she did before (which was like Kaito) and that she definitely has to change for the better before something happens to her or someone she cares about.

I think this would be an organic character motivation for her development that would also shine a light on the dire consequences of the killing game and raise the stakes a bit, especially because this could've been Kaede if she had done things differently.

Conclusion

If I can't have Kaede and Shuichi remain the way they were in Chapter 1 I'd rather not have them at all, but if I could have them like that + a change in narrative direction then I'd really fucking enjoy it over what we got.

[megumis-lashes]

Love Bites

Vampire! Han Jisung x Reader Part 2

**Contains**: mentions of blood/blood drinking, parental abuse, bullying, fighting, slight swearing, emotional abuse, friends to lovers, werewolf Hyunjin, western high school standards, female reader

Flashback =

> Hello

Spending the weekend with Jisung was awkward to say the least. I knew it was in no way his fault. It was mine. I hadn’t had ‘friends’ in years and practically forgot how to act around other people. Thankfully his bubbly personality seemed to make up for everything I lacked. Following the weekend I knew I had to attend school. As much as I hated it, I knew that skipping would only spell more disaster for me in the future. I arrived to school with Jisung, looking somewhat put together despite my rough situation.

I never knew how knowing and interacting with certain people could gain. So. Much. Attention. I forgot just how popular Jisung really was. He wasn’t the most popular, but the majority of students could easily recognize him in a croud. Much to my dismay, people began to spread rumors about the situation. The biggest one was in regard to why I arrived with someone like him, or even talked to him for that matter. We had never talked outside of school before this. This reminded me of a similar situation. My parents being the way they are had signed me up for the school tutor program. Much to my dismay I had been assigned the school’s pretty boy, Hwang Hyunjin,as my student. Despite his constant attempts at becoming my friend, Hyunjin and I’s relationship was purely professional. I helped him out on school work and I would get more points for college. This didn’t stop the rumors though. Many jealous ‘fangirls’ spread rumors about us dating, which I didn’t appreciate. I would constantly get hate notes delivered to my locker.

I quickly dismissed Jisung and began my day. Today was pretty standard. I had two quizzes and some homework due, but nothing too bad. The only thing that scared me was what my lunch schedule held. Hyunjin had a huge unit test in chemistry today and he requested my help during lunch period. I hadn’t really given him an answer, but he said that if I showed up he could pay me. Right now I really needed the money so I was willing to accept a few more hate notes than usual. After my morning classes I showed up to lunch and sat by Hyunjin’s group of friends, surprising them in the process.

“Wow Hyunjin is this your girlfriend? I’ve seen you with her before.” One of the boys questioned. I think his name was Felix.

“No, no this is my tutor, name. She’s here to help me study for my chemistry unit test, I’m just surprised she showed up is all.” He chided as he rubbed his neck nervously. I could tell he was in no way ready for this test.

“Don’t worry the study session should be quick. I’ll make sure you’re prepared before the end of lunch. You should still have some time.” I explained as I shuffled through my backpack. I handed Hyunjin a small study guide I prepared for him.

“Here’s something I threw together. Read that over and tell me what you don’t understand. I’ll be over there when you’re done.” I smiled subtly as I walked over to the next table. Despite his popularity he was still a normal teenager.

As I had expected, helping Hyunjin during lunch drew some attention to me, especially from the ‘popular girls’ or whatever they like to be called. I never really minded their existence, but I could always feel their eyes burning into me whenever I hung around their ‘love interest’. Before lunch ended collected my payment from Hyunjin and went to use the restroom. I was fixing my hair in the mirror when those girls walked in.

“Oh if it isn’t name! That’s funny we were just looking to talk to you!” I sighed in annoyance. I was in no mood to talk with them for whatever reason. I never had many interactions with them, but they still managed to put me on edge. Their small group consisted of two juniors and one sophomore. Their leader ‘Mia’ was a relatively tall girl with long black hair who typically wore bright red lipstick. She was by far the worst out of them. Along with her was her close friend, Jiuen. She had bleach blond hair that she often styled in curls. The last girl was rather mysterious. I honestly couldn’t remember her name. She wasn’t one to stand out in a crowd and I don’t think she was a part of the group by choice. She had dark brown hair, styled in pig tails, and wore chunky blue glasses.

“Did you need something?” I sighed. I would have to leave for class soon.

“Ah yes!” Mia answered. “We’re here to make a deal with you!” I scrunched my eyebrows in confusion.

“What about?” I questioned

“So you see you’ve been hanging out with some popular people lately, and I guess you could say that I’m a bit jealous.” She giggled. “I hate to be that person but could you do me a favor and leave them alone? I need all the chances I can get in getting a boyfriend!” She explained.

I sighed. “Are you serious? If you’re talking about Hyunjin there’s nothing going on between us at all. Same with Jisung. We’re simply acquaintances who help each other out from time to time. I don’t see how it’s a problem.”

“Well I’m afraid that’s not convincing me. There’s no way I know anything about your relationships so you could be lying for all I know. I simply cannot trust your word on this!” She huffed. I rubbed my temples in annoyance.

“Look I swear I’m telling the truth. What would I even gain from lying? Plus there’s no way I can fully avoid Hyunjin as I am his assigned tutor.”

“Just request a change in students it’s not that difficult. I don’t see why you can’t just help me out this one time.” She groaned dramatically.

“Well what’s in it for me? You’re practically rewriting my life for your benefit only. I’m sorry but I’m not changing my entire schedule just so you can have a better ‘chance’!” I was getting sick of this conversation. I wanted to leave.

“Fine then you leave me no choice! I can easily destroy you.” She snickered.

“What do you mean?” She was making me anxious. She barely tried to convince me and she’s already pulling out her greatest asset?

“Well if you somehow managed to forget, I am the principals daughter. I could easily pull some strings. Maybe I could say you cheated! Yeah that’s a great idea! All the grades you worked so hard on would turn to dust! Then you’d be suspended for breaking school law! Oh and I’m sure your parents wouldn’t be so happy about that now would they?” She chuckled as she pulled out her phone.

“You can’t be serious Mia. This isn’t that deep.” I tried to stop myself from shaking.

“Oh I’m serious! It only takes a press of my finger to ruin you! If I send a report to my dad about you cheating, I know he’d believe me! You’re best option is to just agree to my conditions! There’s no way your parents would be happy with you being expelled!”

I was on the verge of tears. There was nothing I could do in this situation. She was right. There was no way I would be let of the hook for being expelled. This combined with all the stress I had been feeling in the past week led me closer and closer to breaking.

“Fine.” I stammered “You win. I won’t talk to either of them and I’ll ask to tutor someone else. Just please don’t mess with my grades. You know how much they mean to me.” I pleaded.

She giggled. “Finally you gave in! Alright then that’s a deal! I won’t ruin you, or at least not until later!” She exclaimed. I gritted my teeth, still trying to keep my composure.

“Come on girls let’s go!” She led the girls from the bathroom. Upon leaving she slammed into my shoulder, effectively pushing me into the wall. That hurt like hell.

“Haha so sorry! I must’ve not see you there!” She chuckled again and walked away with her group.

I cringed in pain as I felt the warm tears I had worked hard to withhold cascade down my cheeks. Wasn’t this an eventful week.

For the rest of the day I made it my duty to avoid the two boys at all costs. I could in no way afford that level of failure going on my record. I would be doomed for all eternity. Avoiding them wasn’t too difficult during classes. I was in much higher classes than Hyunjin and only shared a few classes with Jisung. Thankfully I had all my shared classes in the morning. At the end of the school day, I requested a new student to tutor. I claimed our timing didn’t work out and left a small note to Hyunjin explaining it was for personal reasons. I continued through my day as unaffected as I possibly could act. I attended volleyball practice until 6, then took a different route back to Jisung’s house in hopes of avoiding him completely. I managed to sneak in through his back door (AN: no pun intended) since he had given me a key. I only saw him once that night for a brief moment. He questioned why he didn’t see me and I explained that I had volleyball and homework to do. I also warned him that he probably wouldn’t see me much after school so that he wouldn’t worry. The next morning I left before he woke up.

Over the course of the next few weeks I was successful in avoiding both Hyunjin and Jisung. Jisung did seem a little suspicious of seeing me extremely rarely, but he didn’t push his questions since I helped with chores and even payed him a portion of the money Hyunjin had given me. Hyunjin on the other hand was extremely bothered over my sudden change in schedule. He would constantly try to approach me at lunch or during class and as much as it pained me, I would force myself to ignore him or walk away giving him some dumb excuse. I knew he didn’t believe anything I said. The most persistent thing he did was leave me letters. I read the letters but I never replied. He would often describe his day and somehow always end up on the topic of tutoring. He explained how he was assigned a new tutor, except it was a girl that was a year under him. Despite how advanced she was in classes, she knew little of the junior material and was even more confused than Hyunjin. With his constant begging for me to come back I constantly felt terrible about my decision. As much as I appreciated his efforts at keeping in contact with me, there was one small issue. He. Was. Extremely. Obvious. Practically the entire school knew he left envelopes in my locker, many of them believed the notes to be love letters.

Today was no different. I was returning to my locker at the end of the school day only to find another note. Upon first look it was easy to understand why people thought the notes to be out of love. Hyunjin wasn’t exactly great at portraying his emotions and could be rather dense at times. He used a baby pink envelope and decorative stationary that I could only assume belonged to a female in his family. In today’s note he described how desperate he was to have me as a tutor again. His current tutor recently passed out from what Hyunjin had described as ‘confusion’ and had been too embarrassed to show up to tutor sessions the past couple sessions. When Hyunjin attempted to ask for a new tutor, the teachers refused as he had changed tutors once that month already. I chuckled. I could tell he was panicking while he wrote the letter. His messy handwriting was a stark contrast to the beautiful card. He could be dense at times but I knew he was a smart kid, he could manage without me for a while. What I failed to notice at the time were the burning stares drilling into my back.

“Hi name! It’s a nice day today isn’t it! You wouldn’t mind going on a small walk with us would you?” My small smile quickly faded. That voice, I could recognize it anywhere. It was Mia and by the overly ‘happy’ tone of her voice I could tell she wasn’t too happy with me. As much as my gut pleaded me not to follow her I couldn’t risk anything.

“Sure.” I murmured. I quickly finished packing my backpack and shut my locker, following the three girls. The girls stopped at a small shady spot at the back of the school. They weren’t lying it was nice out. It was a clear fall day, the sun shining beautifully in the sky. Despite all this I couldn’t bring myself to enjoy it. I was scared shitless of what they were going to say. Mia quickly faced me.

“So what do you have to say for yourself? Liar.” I creased my brows in confusion.

“What do you mean? I haven’t broken our agreement?” I really hoped they withheld their part of the deal.

“Well name you aren’t very subtle. I thought with how smart you are you would know better!” She scoffed.

“I’m still confused as to what to what you mean?” I was seriously starting to panic at this point.

“Just give up already. You don’t have to play dumb for me anymore. I know you broke our agreement. Your little relationship with Hyunjin is pretty obvious if you ask me. Sure you may have stopped tutoring him but I see how he leaves letters for you. You read every single one and you even chuckled while reading today’s ‘love letter’. You’re not a sly as you think!” She exclaimed. I knew she was mad now.

“No, no, no you’ve got it all wrong! I’m in no secret relationship with Hyunjin and I never reply to his letters! He’s just struggling in class and wants me to tutor him again but I’ve told him I can’t-“ Time seemed to freeze at that moment. What woke me from my trance was a sharp pain to my left cheek.

She slapped me.

I was frozen out of pure shock. As I blinked out of it I could feel warm drops of blood stream from a small cut on my check. I definitely didn’t expect her to get physical.

“That’s what you deserve you deserve you bitch! How dare you! I went easy on you! I made an agreement and you just had to ruin everything! That’s it! Two can play at this little game of yours! By Friday I’ll make sure to ruin you and make sure the whole school hears your embarrassing little sob story as well!” She screamed as I collapsed to the ground. My shaking legs had finally given out a look of shock still painted on my face. She began to walk away. I stumbled forwards towards her.

“Wait! No! No! No! You can’t do this to me! What did I ever do to you! I never did anything-“ She cut me off by yanking my hair. I sobbed out of fear and despair.

“Shut up. YOU ruined my chances. YOU broke the deal! Think of this as ALL. YOUR. FAULT!” She finished her argument by slamming her hand bag in my face. I cringed in pain as the metal clasps made contact with my skin. That was sure to bruise later. Following their leaders departure, Jiuen walked over to my slumped form. She shuffled in her bag and pulled out a small carton of milk. She quickly tore open the carton and dumped it over my head. I sobbed and coughed in disgust. The third girl did absolutely nothing besides stand there and look down at me in pity. She quickly ran after the other girls.

“Why me?”

I sat there for what felt like hours but was probably along the lines of 15 minutes. I felt disgusting to say the least. I had never wanted to shower this much in my life. I took of my bag, thankful it was still clean, and began to dig around. I quickly found an old gym shirt and used that to somewhat clean my face.

The walk home was humiliating. I could feel the stares of students and teachers alike burn into my back. I kept my head low. The walk itself felt like torture. I was exhausted, both mentally, emotionally and physically. I was also still in pain. I could feel blood ooze from the cuts on my face and the bruises begin to form. I’d probably have to buy some concealer to hide the bruising. Upon arriving to the house I quickly stumbled inside. Once I reached the living room I realized my mistake. Jisung was home and was staring right at me.

“What the fuck happened to you?” He questioned almost flying off the sofa. He must’ve been playing games before my arrival.

“Oh, uhh nothing really. I just uhh... tripped is all. Don’t worry I’ll go take care of it.” I knew it was probably the worst excuse of the decade but I really didn’t have the energy to make a better one.

“Bullshit! You have bruises and scratches almost exclusively on your face! Plus I can tell you’ve been avoiding me!” He exclaimed as he approached me “Name you don’t have to act strong all the time. I can tell you’re not ok. Please tell me what happened... if you can.”

It didn’t take another word from Jisung for me to breakdown in a mess of tears. It was about time. The amount of stress I had been experiencing was extremely unhealthy. Combined with the fact that I wasn’t allowed to express emotions at home, the pressure was too much.

“I-I got into a f-fight.” I sobbed. “I really don’t know what I did wrong! They had to blackm-mail me for what? Having friends?” I buried my head in my hands. I was broken. “They got mad at me for being by you and Hyunjin! They, they threatened to ruin me! All my hard work! My hours of unhealthy studies! All to make my parents happy! But they just had to destroy it all out of spite!” I coughed as I felt the salty tears slip onto my lips. My sobs were cut off when I felt strong arms wrap around my middle.Jisung had hugged me. I couldn’t remember the last time someone had given me a hug. As happy as I should of been, the physical contact simply made me sob harder.

“Slow down, slow down! I know you’re upset and I’m here for you! Just go at your own pace. I’m not gonna go anywhere until you’re done.” He patted my back. I tried to calm my breathing and began to explain. Explain everything, from when I had been kicked out to when the girls had first blackmailed me to when they attacked me for Hyunjin’s notes. It was exhausting to just remember those events. Then I explained everything about my parents. How difficult they were. Nothing mattered besides numbers and results.

“They could care less about my existence as a person, or their daughter. “ I explained. We were now seated on his large sofa, his hand holding mine out of comfort. The whole time I explained my situation I could tell he was listening. He started at me attentively with a kind look in his eyes.

“I never knew we were so similar.” He chuckled as he scratched his neck.

“What do you mean.” I questioned, drying the tears from my face.

“The whole parent thing I mean. My parents are incredibly hard on me as well. I’m the next in blood line per say, and because of my familial ranking I take an important family position once my parents die. They aren’t necessarily that focused on grades like your parents are but they care a lot about field performance. That doesn’t mean I can slack in school though.” He sighed. “Other than that they barely pay any attention to me. They let me figure out everything on my own. By the age of 12 I practically lived alone. I’ve been an adult for almost the entirety of what should’ve been my childhood.” He sighed. “Anyway thank you for explaining it to me I know it’s been difficult for you. As much as you dislike them, let’s make a deal.”

“About what?” I blinked myself awake. I was starting to get really tired.

“No more secrets. Don’t keep this sorta stuff to yourself from now on ok? It does more harm than good. I’m always here to listen!” He smiled. I could feel my checks warm at his smile. It was cute.

“Alright then.” I smiled bashfully. “Pinky promise?”

“Pinky promise!” He confirmed, quickly wrapping his pinky around mine.

“Now I hate to be rude but you should really take a shower.” He scratched his neck as he chuckled.

“Hey! I went through a lot today!” I chided

“I know, I know. How about you go shower and then we can watch a movie! Maybe it’ll help you feel better!”

“Actually... that sounds really nice. But what about my homework? And my grades?” I completely forgot that school existed.

“Ahh don’t worry about it! I’ll do your homework for you when you shower! I already did mine so it’s fine! About your grades, just leave it to me! I’ll talk to them tomorrow ok!” He exclaimed.

“Are you sure?” I questioned. I’d feel guilty if he did all that for me.

“I’m sure! Now go!”

I started to walk to my room to go shower when I stopped.

“Hey Jisung?”

“Yeah? What’s up?”

“Thank you.”

I smiled. My first true smile in a while.

[amazingorangedangantrash]

The only ending everyone seems to ignore is v3 because it’s just... it’s just a mess.

How do feel about this game survivors? And do you think that everyone woke up from the simulator or tv show like sdr2 or only the survivors?

Hoo boy...

Honestly nonny, having only finished the dang thing yesterday I... don't know.

(I kinda went off into a spiel, so feel free to skip to the part where I talk about survivors and what I think happens next)

I understand the mixed response a LOT. I mean- I see what they were going for. The 4th wall break was cool, and the (sorta?) reappearance of past characters was pretty damn awesome. I like that the creators are definitely self aware- and there's a kind of 'learn to laugh at yourself' sort of thing.

On the other hand it can almost seem a little too mocking?

I get the whole yaknow. 'Fictional characters are aware they're fictional and rebel against their creators' thing but- like-?

As I mentioned before, thing is, Tsumugi is not us? We aren't exactly intentionally cruel? There's a BIG difference between the kind of fiction in our world and in their world.

What does Tsumugi call it? "Real fiction"?. Yeah- thing is- we don't have that. We don't have the technology for it, and I certainly hope we wouldn't abandon ethics for it either!!! We can't have 'real' fiction, because in our world, all fiction is fake! The closest you have is fiction about real people, perhaps, but- that's not even remotely the same thing?

So it does come across as a little... um- preachy.

We're supposed to represent the audience but... like- the audience fucking suck! What was that they said during the argument armament? "This guy should have died instead of Kaede!" Like- fucking hell. Imagine saying that to someone, who can HEAR you say it, and who's MURDER you could potentially watch unfold before your very eyes as a result of YOUR actions. I mean- look how empathetic some of us are to ACTUAL fictional characters. Could you imagine if we were in a similar situation to the outside world in V3???

Maybe it's because I keep imagining the v3 cast as like- sentient AI, instead of "just fiction". Because I can't imagine anyone being so sadistic or apathetic otherwise.

So uh- yeah. I don't... know how I feel about that. It's not- very satisfying?

With sdr2, the whole "none of this is real, the killing game is all a lie, you're in a fake world!" felt like a relief ! Whereas here it's more like- "what?? It's all fake? What the hell was the point then?!"

"Nothing matters!" vs "nothing matters..."

The whole HOPE VS DESPAIR, FUTURE VS PAST thing worked, because, well, it's something we can all understand. We have all felt hope and we have all felt despair. We've all, at some point in our lives, felt stuck in the past, unable to or scared to move on.

(Hey- some of us still feel like that now, even).

The first game was very simple- hope and despair. Still relatable, but fairly basic- effective to set up the foundation for the follow up.

The second game made things a little more complicated. Sometimes it's more complicated then just- choosing between Hope and Despair. We refuse to fall into Despair, but we can't just blindly have Hope.

So we choose the Future. We can't promise it'll be a good one OR a bad one. But whatever happens- we need to move on. The only way we can make things change is by making that choice, to create our OWN future.

V3 felt very... complex. It started to get kind of... uh... philosophical? And- don't get me wrong, I don't have a problem with that. It just... it kind of shifted from TRUTH VS LIE to FICTION VS REALITY. And whilst the latter definitely sounds interesting- I don't really know if I liked the direction they took with it-? I wish they'd kept the focus on TRUTH VS LIE a lot more.

(Fiction and Reality are like extensions of Lie and Truth but- only to a certain extent? Really?)

It's kind of harder to get into the final fight in V3 because... what are you fighting? The outside world? I mean- I can't speak for the rest of you, but as far as I'm aware I'm not a fictional character.

(If I am- then wow someone's a reallly bad writer huh?)

I can relate to Hope. I can relate to Future.

I can't relate to Fiction.

I THOUGHT maybe the message was a warning of the dangers of escapism ('please dont go as far as to erase your own personality just to be a part of a type of fiction you like' definitely seems fitting for this fandom)- but the message "fiction has the power to change the world!" kinda contradicts that. I mean- I do like that message, but- I don't like the idea of a series about killing games being heavily influential-!

The whole problem was that people grew so obsessed with the series that they threw away their lives! Is that not the point you should be focusing on-!!!!

The outside world in this universe fucking sucks. So they changed their mind, big DEAL! that's not comforting knowing they let this shit continue for 53 seasons-! I mean, maybe Makoto and Hajime were all 100% fictional, but at some point they started putting real people into these games, and everyone was ok with that!

I just-

I'm glad Shuichi got through to them at last but...

Someone said something which resonated with me- "in a vacuum, this is good". Like... on it's own, I thought the ending was great! It was entertaining, for sure. And the whole concept and stuff was unexpected and interesting. You gotta give em points for originality.

The problem comes with it being the 3rd game in a series. (Ignoring UDG I mean-). When a series becomes a Trilogy, you gotta make it good. This is presumably the last game in the (main) series too. And- after the UTTER NARRATIVE DISAPPOINTMENT of dr3- can you blame people for wanting more? People fell in love for THH and SDR2 (and UDG even if its not part of the main series) for a reason- and, for me at least, a biiiig part of that reason was the continued storyline. The last chapter of sdr2 was the hypest shit EVER. when you see glimpses of the previous game bleed into this one, only for it to turn into what's like- a full crossover???? The previous game isn't just mentioned, it's a straight up sequel!!!! I had absolutely no idea Makoto and co would return (i thought the games were separate) so when i saw that they'd be interacting with the new cast- yoooooooooooooooo-!

Hell, even seeing alter ego again made me go WILD.

V3 plays upon these expectations, and subverts them, but... not necessarily in a good way? You- kind of feel cheated? (Idk if you're an avengers fan, but- it's like expecting *Endgame* and instead getting...

Well- Endgame).

The ending isn't bad persay it's just- not quite what one would expect? I can definitely understand why people are disappointed. The problem is, instead of standing alone, you can't help but consider it as part of the series. Individually, I don't think the ending was that weak or bad, but in comparison to the series as a whole?

Meh.

SURVIVORS

(Oh my- I really got off track, oh dear. I'll- get back to what you asked now.)

KEEBO

W H Y

They rllly gonna rub salt in the wound huh?

(Whilst i dont dislike the other survivors, there are a LOT of people i really really wanted to see make it to the end, and it's just the final god damn nail in the coffin to kill off the last of the few characters I came even close to liking the most-)

Killing keebo was dumb

Maki- I liked Maki quite a bit! She's a bit cold, yeah, but I warmed up to her after hearing her backstory.

I found it annoying (if understandable) that no one trusted her at first. I thought it was sweet that her, Kaito and Shuichi had this friendship trio. They really trusted each other- it was very refreshing. I also love me a strong girl. Her romance thing with Kaito was a little... forced. I'd have found it more meaningful if they kept it more subtle/ambiguous (though i suppose they needed smth to use against her in the final trial sooo-).

Himiko-

I-

*sigh*

Ok I'm going to say this once, and once only.

Someoneonthedrteamhasabigthingforlolis

OK! I SAID IT- AND IM NEVER SAYING IT AGAIN

No judgement here of course. Just. Uh. Y-yeah-

(I'm mainly kidding of course, idek if Himiko counts as a loli but-)

I mean... I'm not... the fondest of very small, childish girl characters (Saionji intensifies). I like a bit of childishness in a character but- i mean- it depends.

(I'll never recover from the "seductive whisper" thing from the love suite event

Never.

Never ever.)

Himiko comes across as like An Actual Child at times and at the start it was VERY annoying. Surprisingly, I warmed up to her eventually. I knew in advance she'd be a survivor so i kinda thought "well she's gonna stick around so might as well try to like her". I do appreciate that she underwent a character arc too, and it was sweet to see how she became a more active, determined person. I wish it hadn't taken Tenko's death for her to finally start changing but whatever. She is quite a cute character and after a while became more endearing then annoying.... (for the most part).

Was she in my top 3 picks for a survivor? No.

The top 10 even?

N-no-

I'm glad she's still alive though. SOMEONE damn well needs to be.

Tsumugi- ah. She's not a survivor, is she? I knew well in advance she was the mastermind so I didn't really warm up to her all that much during the final chapters, for obvious reasons.

Shuichi- if shuichi hadn't survived I think that would have been the breaking point for me, honestly.

Overall- uh... they aren't... the ideal picks. Shuichi is the only one I really wanted to see survive, I was neutral towards the others. Tbh I was just happy anyone was alive by the end of that.

Waking up- for the sake of my sanity, I like to think that after the survivors wake up, they threaten to sue and/or maim the shit out of the dr team if they don't start on reanimating their 'dead' friends right fucking now. Surely they gotta keep their consciousness' somewhere in those memories banks right? I mean- what if they ever wanted a "surprise return from the dead" plotline? Surely they gotta keep em somewhere? Right?

Whether or not they reawaken as their in-game or pre-game selves, who knows. Whichever you prefer, I guess. Maybe a mixture of both.

[honney-pies]

Ma Cherie❤︎

Birthday Girl

Pairing: Inumaki Toge/F! oc/ Okkotsu Yuuta

Fandom : Jujutsu Kaisen

Summary : this is how Kanae got her name and how found family is like my fav trope.

Content warning/chapter warning: character death, referenced/implied abuse, referenced/implied sexual assault, excessive blood loss, thoughts of self-hatred, depression, feeling helpless, a knife is used, her mother SUCKS, please please please seek help if you or a loved one is being abused or in a harmful environment. I'm not sure if there is anything else, but please let me know and I will add it to the list!

Length: 2.5k

A/n: GUYS I'M SO SORRY THAT I HAVEN'T POSTED I FORGOT THAT I SAVED THIS TO DRAFTS! the next couple chapters are going to be more gaining context while also establishing how she interacts with others. the next two chapters (and this one too i think) contain spoilers for JJK season two. Kanae's birth name is Akane, but after this chapter I don't plan on referencing that. right now i'm sitting at about three chapters either nearly completed or started. please let me know if you liked this post! as always there is a self insert version here and on ao3, feel free to read it if you would like! i'm still not sure how long this fic will be, but i'm aiming for about ten chapters.Kanae calls herself Akane anytime before she turns five.

Teaser

  ─── ⋆⋅ November  2016 ⋅⋆ ─── 

Kanae was looking at Panda and Maki sparring when she saw someone sit down in the corner of her eyes. Yuuta kept on staring at the sixteen year old, and she was beginning to feel her skin get itchy from feeling watched. He kept on looking at her then looking away, clearly he wanted to ask him something, but she didn’t want to bring it up if he didn’t intend to ask. 

“Kamo-san, why do some people call you Akane and others call you Kanae?” The girl in question looked at the dark haired boy and stared at him. 

“O-oh, you don’t need to answer that if you don’t want to! I didn’t mean to put you on the spot!” Kanae laughed, Yuuta was definitely too sweet for this world. 

“Do you want the short version or the longer one,” she asked. 

“I want to hear whatever you want to tell me,” he replied. 

     ─── ⋆⋅December 29, 2005⋅⋆ ─── 

It had been her birthday. Akane had just turned five years old and Shoko, Suguru and Satoru made sure to give her the best day ever. It had been her first birthday since her mother first tried to hurt her and Yaga banned her from entering the school. 

That night she was determined to sleep in her old room by herself and prove to herself that she grew up and could overcome what had happened to her. For a little over a month she had been alternating rooms and everyone had taken turns walking her to and from school along with having her accompany them on missions, obviously staying in the car, if no one else was available to watch her. All to protect her from her mother. 

When she had gotten into the room everything seemed fine, safe. Satoru was one room down and Suguru was in the same hallway as well. Shoko was still at her parents until classes started again. Satoru and Suguru had stayed with her for most of the night until she said she wanted to spend the night alone. They just looked at each other and agreed. What she didn’t know was that Suguru had let a small curse to watch over her, moreso to let him know if there were any changes in her mood or breathing. They both made their promises of seeing Akane tomorrow and to come into either one of their rooms should she feel scared. 

“Are you sure this is a good idea, Satoru?” The boy in question just looked at him and that’s all Suguru needed to know before grabbing his hand and holding it until they reached his room. The two went to their rooms and began to fall asleep. Although neither one was really able to do so. Akane’s well being was at the forefront of both of their minds. 

At first Akane didn’t know what was going on. She had thought that a tree was scratching at her window, maybe it had been a stray cat, but when she heard the shattering of her bedroom window break, she knew that it was no tree or cat. She knew it was something far worse. The five year old panicked and hid herself underneath the blanket and made herself small, as if that would keep the scary monsters away. 

We, as the readers of this story, know that hiding away under blankets will never keep the monsters at bay, but Akane was still a child, a child who didn’t fully know of the harsh realities the world, especially her own, had in store. 

The creaking of the wooden floors had been her only way of knowing where the monster was. The noises grew closer until one side of the bed dipped down and a soft voice called out to her. 

“Akane, it’s your mother. Come on out and tell me hi.” Akane was confused to say the least. From what she understood Mother was no longer allowed at the school since Yaga refused her entry. She had been told that if she did see her mother that she must go to another mom and ask to call her family or hide. 

This, however, wasn’t the first time Akane’s mother was not allowed to visit her for a period of time. From what she’s been told her mother got sad a lot. From what she heard while others thought she wasn’t listening was that her mother was unstable and had severe manic depression. She didn’t know what that really meant, but she knew that sometimes her mom wouldn’t be allowed to see her for a little bit. It happened pretty often, so Akane thought it was normal for her to disappear and show up out of nowhere. 

Unfortunately this was not one of those times. This time she felt her mothers animosity, this time she felt no love coming from her mother. Akane knew that her mother, the one she tries to remember, was nowhere to be seen. All that was left was a shell filled with rage, guilt, and anguish. This manifested itself into a pit in her mothers stomach, a pit that blamed Akane. Who she once viewed as her greatest achievement, her greatest creation, she could only view as her antagonizer.

That’s the funny thing about trauma, sometimes the blame can get misplaced. An innocent child can get the brunt of the aftermath of another man’s hand. 

Akane tried to sink herself as far down into her bed as she could, however the mattress didn’t swallow her up and protect her as she had hoped. Her mother only got angry and ripped the blanket off of her and clamped a bloodied, beaten hand over the child's mouth. Her child's mouth. 

She tried to squirm away, but her mother placed her full body weight onto her and forced her to stay put. 

“You listen here you insolent brat! You will keep your mouth shut and listen to your mother when you're told. I should have never left you here, you clearly don’t know what manners are. Now, nod your head if you’ll listen to mother like a good little girl.” Akane nodded her head, thinking that it would keep her safe. The hand that was placed over her mouth removed itself and reached to the side of her mothers clothes. She pulled out a knife and Akane had never been more scared in her life. 

“You have failed me for the last time, Akane,” hissed her mother, “you weren’t born a boy, you look like your father, you look like that other boy from your beloved fathers mistress, you have a hereditary cursed technique, one from the men's side. You have a family here, a happy one. You evade your fathers hand and live your life protected by the strongest. All of which I did for you, yet you never bother to show me gratitude. You are the product of your fathers control. Control over me, control over my body, control over my life. You are the embodiment of everything, everything, I have tried so hard to forget. I hate you! I wish you were never born!” 

The knife was lifted into the air. 

The knife was pushed into Akane’s small, fragile body. 

“Because of you, I can never be free!” The knife made its way to her stomach. She watched as her mother cried, as she wept and sobbed. Akane mirrored her mother and cried. She felt guilty for living and causing someone, especially her own mother, this much pain. As she watched the knife be lifted in the air again, she let a scream crawl its way from her throat. It came out garbled since she was choking on her own blood. She grabbed the blade and pushed it away from her body with all the strength that was left in her bloodied body. Through it all she screamed Satoru’s name, hoping that he heard her and would save her. Akane’s bedroom wall imploded on itself and two boys raced through. Suguru tackled her mother to the ground, effectively saving Akane. Satoru ran to her side and wrapped her in bedsheets, trying to stop the bleeding. The young girl looked over at her mother and noticed how she didn’t look human anymore, how she looked like a curse. 

She screamed and screamed at her daughter, blaming her, hating her. 

“I hate you! I wish you were never born!” Suguru stabbed her. The screaming turned into slurred, garbled speech.

Suguru had never seen someone actively turn into a curse before that night. He watched Akane’s mother turn into a curse right before his eyes, and just like so many times before he absorbed the girl’s mother. He hoped she would never see her mother ever again. 

Satoru rushed Akane to Shoko’s room, knowing she could save the girl. As they were leaving, Akane had three words falling from her lips.

“I love you.” 

When Akane woke back up she was in the medical bay, Shoko was watching over her. 

“Oh, you’re awake,” She pulled out her phone, “ Gojo, she woke up just now.” Shoko walked over to her and began to assess her. About half way through, the door slammed open and in ran Satoru, with Suguru not far behind. 

“You scared me! My lovely little sister scared me!” He threw himself onto her, but made sure he wasn’t actually hurting her. Suguru quickly joined them and all three of them curled up together while Shoko finished her tests. 

Later that day the four of them spent the night in Shoko’s room, it was the farthest away from the incident that happened last night. Their time together was spent goofing off and acting as children and above all else, making Akane feel loved. 

When he thought everyone else was asleep, Satoru pulled Akane closer to him and saw that she, too, hadn’t gone to bed.

“Can’t sleep,” he asked. She shook her head.

“I don’ know if I like who I am. Mother didn’ like me.” Satoru’s heart ached for her. He had been watching over the girl, mainly just keeping her company since he was 13, she was one. Their parents struck a deal to essentially groom the young girl into being a weapon for him if he desires. Though Satoru didn’t know how a measly toddler could be seen as one. 

He saw Akane all the time as he got older, when he moved into the dorms the two were practically inseparable. In fact when he introduced Suguru and Shoko to her, he referred to her as his little sister, in return she began to call him ‘toru-nii’. 

“You know, you don’t have to be who you were completely, you could be someone else. You could rise from the ashes like that one bird from Harry Potter!” She giggled quietly and rolled her eyes, although she didn’t know how to do that quite yet, so she just looked up. 

“Phoenix Fawkes, you’re there when Sugu-nii reads them too, should at least remember the names.” Satoru rolled his eyes and poked her forehead. 

“You do know we love you, right? I love you. You bring us, me, so much happiness, love, and you deserve those things too. You deserve affection. Kanae, do you know what that means? It means ‘love and affection.’ We could call you that if you want.” 

The young girl looked up at him and smiled like he was the greatest thing to ever happen to her. He watched as she began to be overtaken by dreams, he wished they would remain happy ones. 

“I wan’ t’do that, dad.” Ak- Kanae drifted to sleep, and Satoru couldn't help but let out the biggest, brightest smile the world had ever seen. This was the greatest thing that could ever happen to him. Kanae had never called him that before, although there had been a few times where she nearly did. He couldn’t be happier than he was at this moment. He pulled the girl as close as he could without hurting her. 

In the darkness of the room he met Suguru’s eyes. He smiled at Satoru and placed his hand on top of his. 

 ─── ⋆⋅ November 2017 ⋅⋆ ───

“My dad gave it to me. I was five at the time and he wanted me to be able to choose who I would become, to let go of my biological family and move forward. To have a constant reminder that I’m loved and deserve to be happy. Some people call me Akane to piss me off, some do it because they don’t know or simply don’t care.” Yuuta looked at the girl and he knew that she must have been through something that most wouldn’t have recovered from. 

“I thought you and your family don’t talk.” 

“I talk to my older brother sometimes.I guess you wouldn’t know since you aren’t familiar with the politics and all that, but he was here for the Sister School exchange event, he goes to the Kyoto school. In fact he’s the only remotely tolerable one from my family, although I don’t go out of my way to interact with them. I don’t talk to anyone from there anymore besides him, his name is Noritoshi. He doesn’t really know how to speak for himself and it annoys me, but he respects my decision to leave even if he thinks it was a stupid idea.” 

“Oh, the one with the shut eyes?” 

“They’re narrow, but yeah, that’s him.” 

Yuuta looked at her the whole time, giving her his undivided attention. In that moment she realized she liked the feeling of his eyes on her, her skin didn’t itch as much. 

“Like Maki,” he asked. She sighed.

“Fortunately I never spent more than a couple days at the estate at a time. I grew up here, actually. My mother gave a huge amount of money to the school to let me stay here. That and Yaga and her were friends I think.  Maki had to live with them for years. I didn’t, I had the privilege to live away from them in a loving family.” 

Yuuta looked like he had more to ask, but she saw Satoru sit down next to her. He saw her smile and bump her shoulder with his, no Infinity to get in the way. 

“Hi, sensei!” He grinned at the two.

“What were my beloved students talking about? Anything interesting?” 

“My name.” Satoru looked at her through his bandages and saw her staring at the sky, running her fingers over her clothes, where the scars were, are. 

“That’s a different kind of interesting, Kanae. You know I think I did a great job helping you pick that name out! It suits you.” Yuuta looked over confused, he was about to speak up when the girl tapped his shin with her foot, luckily he got the idea and closed his mouth. 

“I’m the one that agreed with you, so get off your high horse, sensei.” The two let out twin laughs as Satoru got up. ‘A meeting with the muscle man,’ he said. Before Yuuta even had a chance to speak, she beat him to the punch.

“He raised me. I only call him Gojo or sensei when talking around at school. To me he’ll always be toru-nii.”

“You said your father gave you that name.” She smiled.

“I said my dad did. Not my father.”

“Oh... Does he know you see him as a dad,” he asked. She nodded her head. 

“C’mon Okkotsu, let's practice.” He stared up at the girl as she offered her hand to him. He grabbed it and pulled himself up. 

He liked the way her hand felt against his, though he didn’t know if Rika would appreciate the thought.

______________________________________________________________

the next chapter, 'family bonding' should be out Saturday, September 2nd! thank you so much for reading and I will make sure to get a masterlist in place soon!

-honney

[toxicpineapple]

is there a specific reason u dont like oumota?? or do u just Dislike it

oh boy anon you’re really gonna have me go into that kinda conversation alright... i guess it’s no secret that oumota is my least favourite pairing, so i don’t mind talking about it. all that aside please keep in mind that these are my opinions and i have a lot of respect for people who ship any pairing (aside from the problematic ones, obviously, pro-ship dni) and i have zero desire to start any fights with anybody.

i’ve never been a fan of enemies-to-lovers as a trope. i think it’s good to start there. one of my earliest fandoms was the death note fandom, and there was a LOT of lawlight (l x light) content. still is, i’m sure, i just haven’t been by the fandom in a while. i just, i absolutely hated it. i was in fifth grade at the time so i was a bit... oblivious, to chemistry between characters as a whole, but also, it just didn’t make any sense to me! they hated each other! why would you think that’s a good relationship! light LITERALLY wanted l dead and i’m not gonna say any spoilers in case i have followers who haven’t seen the show yet but the way things go down... it just didn’t make sense to me. there was the homoerotic foot rubbing scene, of course, and l tells light that they’re friends, but light was being ACTIVELY MANIPULATIVE the entire time. i didn’t see why people would want to ship people who are enemies. i couldn’t wrap my head around it.

after being in fandom for a bit longer, i think i’ve managed to figure it out, lol. i am (and will always be) of the belief that any pairing can be done well, given enough time and attention. (again aside from the problematic ones i’m not here to engage with incest or pedophilia okay that shit is nasty and i don’t need your “it’s fiction!” bull that kind of mindset perpetuates abuse.) if you can sell me on it, then damn, sure, i’ll be into it. i’m still not big on enemies-to-lovers, that fifth grade mindset of “it’s so weird to ship people who hate each other” hasn’t really gone away, but i’m open to it. if you can sell it, i’ll buy it! that kind of thing.

i still prefer friends-to-lovers though. in the danganronpa fandom, i’ve always prefered naegiri and hinanami over naegami and komahina. (oumasai and saimota are the exception, i go back and forth on them but ultimately i love them equally, ouma being my favourite antag and all) i just think that positive interactions are healthier, and communication is easier when you’re not at each other’s throats all the time. this is obviously my opinion, subject to debate and all that, yadda yadda yadda. i’ll take shy smiles across the breakfast table over homoerotic pauses in the middle of arguments any day of the week.

i think you’re starting to get the reason why oumota isn’t my cup of tea. still, i like naegami and komahina, like, a LOT. enough that i would write them on my own time, extensively, just because i feel like it. there are pairings where i wouldn’t be so willing, where i’d just shrug and do it if requested but ultimately keep to my side of the playground. even if i don’t immediately jump to shipping people who dislike each other, that doesn’t mean i should have an avid hate for this pairing! so what gives?

it comes down to this, anon: ouma and momota HATE each other in canon. with a lot of enemies-to-lovers things, there’s like, a brief moment of mutual appreciation to give people steam. byakuya and makoto have that!!! byakuya is there to help makoto as much as he can after their killing game, and from post-chapter four onwards byakuya is unreservedly on makoto’s side. they work together!!!! at the end of the game byakuya says he’ll help if people need it!!!!! (through the byakuya translator ofc.) and then he DOES!!!!!!! he went into the neo-world program to help makoto!!!

and komahina has that too!!! all of chapter one, for example? nagito’s ftes? at the end of nagito’s ftes hajime starts to really, truly understand why nagito is the way he is. he doesn’t agree with his actions but he gets it! and he feels BAD for him!! so bad that nagito lies and says what he’s been talking about didn’t really happen. not to mention 2.5, and post-canon, all the potential for slowburn while the remnants are living together on jabberwock island.... they make me soft.

saiouma has that too, i mean, i wouldn’t call saiouma enemies-to-lovers necessarily if only because shuichi is so passive for most of the game, but they have those, like, those small moments. ouma calls shuichi his beloved, and i do believe his behaviour in chapter four was just manipulation, but still, y’know, he was flirting. ouma’s love hotel shows that shuichi is LITERALLY his ideal, and shuichi puts up with all these death threats and games throughout ouma’s ftes in an attempt to understand him-- the final fte is so sweet, how shuichi bandages his finger after he cuts himself.... pique chaotic dumbass energy but they’re adorable as hell.

and i’m sorry to say this, but in my opinion and as far as i can remember... oumota...... doesn’t have that. not once does either ouma or momota show anything but cool distaste for one another. momota PUNCHES OUMA IN THE FACE in chapter four, which is the first real time you see the two of them like.... interacting? (aside from kaito begrudgingly, secretly agreeing with kokichi about people watching the motive videos, but that’s not shipping fuel imo.) and it only gets worse from there. throughout chapter four kokichi goads kaito, trying to pick at his insecurities-- not to mention he tries to get closer to shuichi, someone who kaito has been very close to this entire time!!! he insists that shuichi investigate with him, rather than with kaito, and keeps egging him on throughout the entire trial, mocking him and praising shuichi, the like. and after the trial kokichi PUNCHES KAITO IN THE STOMACH!!! AND KAITO HAS A COUGHING FIT SO BAD HE FALLS TO HIS KNEES!!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK!!! sorry i’m trying not to be akdljflk about this it just... gah. i dunno. ouma absolutely SLAUGHTERS kaito and shuichi’s relationship, deliberately picking at kaito’s insecurities in order to tear down the group as a whole, and i just... it rubs me the wrong way.

chapter five is even worse for me. i know it’s like the biggest shipping fuel people have for them, and i,,, i get it? it’s poetic, the villain and the hero, these two purple dudes who represent opposing ideals, in this scandalous romance behind the exisal or whatever. i just can’t with it, though.

let’s talk about what ouma does to kaito in chapter five :)

-he knocks him out with an exisal and takes him hostage -he sends all his friends (except maki, beautiful, erratic maki) into a DEPRESSION so that the audience will get bored and stop watching the killing game -sorry i already said this but he KIDNAPS KAITO!! HE KIDNAPS HIM!!!! AND TRAPS HIM IN THE EXISAL HANGAR!!!! -he forces kaito to be indebted to him by pretending to drink the antidote and then giving it to him -he THREATENS MAKI!! HE THREATENS HER LIFE!!! IF KOKICHI DIES MAKI WILL BE EXECUTED AS THE BLACKENED AND KAITO KNOWS THIS!!!! i don’t care if you ship momoharu those two had A relationship regardless of whether you saw it was romantic or platonic and kaito cared about her??

he essentially held both maki and kaito hostage and BLACKMAILED kaito into going along with his plan. at the end of the chapter five trial kaito states that he went along with it because he thought it was brilliant, not because kokichi threatened maki, but i still just... it kind of horrifies me.

(i want to be perfectly clear that i LOVE kokichi ouma, he’s a brilliantly morally ambiguous character who did a bunch of fucked up things to try to achieve a noble cause and in no way is this me shitting on him, i’m just saying that given the things kokichi did to kaito i just, can’t get behind it.)

i should also address that even after kokichi did all that, even started BREAKING DOWN in the exisal hangar, kaito maintained that kokichi was a bastard who was difficult to understand. kokichi was being perfectly clear about his intentions. he wanted to end the killing games. i don’t think he ever wanted anything else, in the game. after all of that, for some reason, kaito still just didn’t get it. and i don’t think it’s because kaito is stupid-- kaito is NOT stupid, as funny as the memes are-- i just think that he was genuinely unwilling to try to understand kokichi ouma. he was sympathetic towards a lot of people. shuichi and maki and kaede and gonta and all of them. but he just, he didn’t like ouma. and i feel as though (this is just my speculation so don’t take this as anything real) kokichi never held anything towards kaito except resentment, either. because here’s this THICK DUMBASS who is ruining EVERYTHING that he’s trying to work towards-- not only that, but everyone absolutely adores him, the one thing that kokichi can not, no matter what, hope to achieve. because in order for his plan to work, he needs them to hate him.

all this is canon-compliant, though. i think ouma would’ve been a lot more mild in a non-despair au. i still don’t like the pairing in any aus though, regardless. i just don’t feel like they have the right kind of chemistry. ouma is, he’s like, he’s childish! he likes picking at people, trying to get reactions out of them. y’know who’s easy to get reactions out of? kaito. and not because he’s some funny stupid man, because he has CRIPPLINGLY LOW SELF ESTEEM. kaito is DEADASS afraid of ghosts and i know it’s a funny haha but he nearly shits himself whenever they’re so much as mentioned and ouma is the type of person who would just continue to bring them up to get the reaction out of him. it’s like shipping hiyoko and mikan, y’know? mikan gives hiyoko the reactions she wants and mikan takes it because she’s desperate for attention of any kind. they both feed into each other’s worst tendencies. kaito is easily challenged. all you have to do is imply he’s not a man and he’ll do whatever you want. that’s not HEALTHY!! and ouma would take advantage of it. not because he’s a bad person, but just because, he like,,, he messes around and he takes things too far because he’s a child and he hasn’t seen any real repercussions. that’s what i believe.

this is more of a petty, unrelated reason, but i also used to follow this really annoying oumota shipper who was constantly shoving the pairing down everyone’s throat and absolutely slaughtering kaito’s characterisation in the meantime. in a lot of fics i read before becoming actively against it, i saw ouma being a sniveling crybaby, totally unable to defend himself from anything, and kaito being this callous asshole who was mean to everyone but ouma. i just, i don’t see it? and then maki is always portrayed as so abusive, threatening and hurting ouma all over the place because kaito likes him and not her and shuichi is borderline obsessive if not outright creepy, either jealous of kaito or kokichi because there’s no grey area with these people, and they just, they make shuichi and maki so unsupportive and mean and i just... i don’t like it, not at all. the fastest way to make me hate a thing is by vilifying my favourite characters.

sorry for the long answer, anon. i know i have followers who like oumota, and i respect you for it! it’s just a MAJOR squick for me and i try not to engage with it if i can avoid it! thanks for the question!

[yuujispinkhair]

They kiss on the ring. I carry the crown (Chapter 4)

Chapter 1 ++ Chapter 2 ++ Chapter 3 ++ Masterpost

What does it take to be the woman by Sukuna's side? You are willing to find out and learn more about his dark Kingdom by diving deeper into Tokyo's underworld. Maybe that is the way to win the King's heart. Or maybe you already have it.

Pairing: Sukuna x Reader (female) Genre: Mafia AU, smut, fluff Playlist: Mafia AU The songs for this chapter: Cravin by Stileto ++ Do it for me by Rosenfeld ++ Dirty Mind by Boy Epic ++ Catch me by Dxvn ++ F**K by The Code Word Count: 5k Warnings: 18+, smut, some dark crime-related themes (Yakuza, implied violence, implied murder in later chapters, gambling, alcohol, sex workers), use of the name Daddy, oral, fingering, cockwarming, creampie, squirting, cum eating, light choking, biting, hair pulling. All characters are of age. This story is 18+. Minors don't interact.

Sukuna's people knew you by now. They knew your name, knew who you were. It still gave you chills to walk past them when you saw them in Sukuna's office or in one of his establishments. But all these dangerous men and women treated you with respect, always greeting you so politely and making sure to hold doors open for you and take a step back to make space for you.

One night during an afterparty following an official event in the casino, Sukuna pulled you on his lap. He wrapped his arms around your waist as his lips trailed over your neck and his deep voice murmured in your ear in that sexy tone, telling you about his inner circle.

There was Gojo, a tall white-haired man, just as smug as Sukuna, who was responsible for adult entertainment. Gojo always had his flock of the most exclusive escorts in the whole country trailing him and introduced them to the rich and mighty people of the city, trying to sell their services to the lonely hearts of Tokyo's upper class. And apparently, he was good at it.

Then there was Nanami. Handsome and professional. The guy in charge of the finances definitely didn't look like a Yakuza member to you. Even his tattoos were hidden perfectly under his expensive suits.

Others looked like criminals from far away already, like the scary-looking guy with a scar across his lip. Toji. He was born into the Zenin clan but had decided to turn his back on his family because he disapproved of their dealings. He was in charge of the illegal gambling in the casino's private rooms. He looked dangerous, and you weren't surprised to learn that he was also someone who took care of things for Sukuna. You knew what that meant.

Ironically, the other people who took care of things for Sukuna were Yuta, a seemingly shy young man who kept playing with an engagement ring on his finger, and Maki, a beautiful young woman who had left the Zenin clan together with Toji.

Then there were people like Todo, Toge, and Nobara, who functioned as bagmen and were called for all kinds of services, like deliveries and observations.

And, of course, there was Yuuji, Sukuna's younger brother. He looked a lot like Sukuna, but instead of a smug smirk, he had a bright smile and a loud happy laugh. The baby brother that Sukuna was so fond of that he kept him out of the illegal side of his business.

Yuuji was in charge of the Pachinko places, the small legal gambling places, and arcades they owned all over the city. By his side was always Megumi, officially Yuuji's business partner but unbeknownst to Yuuji, also his bodyguard.

Megumi never said a single word to you, just gave you curt nods, and otherwise, he just glared at everyone who came too close to the young tiger. But you could see him smile when Yuuji talked to him, saw him putting himself always in front of Yuuji, shielding him, protecting him. It was nice to see signs of love in this otherwise tough business.

All these people were dangerous and powerful, but they were nothing compared to Sukuna. They all bowed to him. Sometimes you witnessed it happen right in front of you.

One of Sukuna's subordinates would drop to their knees, take Sukuna's hand and kiss the crown-shaped ring on his finger. It never failed to send sparks of desire through you.

Sukuna really was their King. This was his world. And you were the princess sitting on the King's lap while he was holding court on his throne.

You kept your promise that you wouldn't close your eyes to the dark side of Sukuna's business anymore. And he let you see more of his world. The world behind the shiny casinos, behind the glittering night bars, behind the luxurious office buildings. Sukuna showed you his Kingdom: Tokyo's underworld.

You weren't just accompanying him to the official events. You also went to the backrooms with him and attended afterparties, where deals were made that wouldn't appear in the books.

Sukuna's show of trust towards you made your heart flutter. And he made sure to let you know how proud he was of you.

He showed you right there in his luxurious office when he hugged you from behind, letting you feel his growing bulge as he pressed his strong body against you and trailed soft kisses over your neck. His lips closed around your earlobe, biting it before whispering in your ear:

"You've been such a good girl today."

He made sure to let you fall apart right there in his office, his hands slipping under your skirt, playing with you until you were moaning. He made sure to spread you out on his desk, skirt lifted up, panties yanked down so he could bury his face between your thighs.

You felt his calloused hands settle on your thighs, pushing them apart, exposing all of you to him. His smug smirk was driving you crazy as he looked up at you from between your spread legs.

"Kuna... please..."

"What do you want, darling? Tell me."

You knew what you wanted. What you needed. Him. It was always him. Sukuna, Sukuna, Sukuna.

He turned his face into your left thigh, soft lips leaving little kisses all over your sensitive skin.

And you were a quivering mess, so wet for him that you were worried it would mess up the files you were lying on.

Your fingers tangled in his soft pink hair, trying to get him closer to where you needed him.

You felt him smile against your inner thigh.

"Oh, you want me to eat you out? Is that it?"

His smug tone and the sexy low voice made you moan even louder,

"Yes, please, Kuna...please, Daddy."

A small part of your horny brain was still sensible enough to hope that his assistant had already left. Still, the moment Sukuna's soft lips closed around your clit and sucked on it, you forgot about anything else. Your hips were bucking up against him, and you moaned his name like a slut.

He was always so in control. His strong hands were pushing you down, stilling the desperate movements of your hips as he lapped at your creamy clit, kissed it, and sucked on it in the sweetest way.

Your wild cries filled his dimly lit office as you squirted all over his handsome face. But he kept sucking your sensitive bud, dragging more spasms out of you, making you mewl and arch desperately against the iron grip of his hands.

Your fingers tightened in his hair as he looked up at you, his pretty face wet from your cream, looking so messy and so sexy that it made another bolt of desire shoot through you.

Sukuna's laughter filled the room,

"You like what Daddy does to you, huh? I'll clean you up, you sweet, messy thing."

And he smirked and leaned down and lapped up your cream with his tongue with long, sloppy licks, all the way from your slick hole, dipping into it teasingly with the stiff tip of his tongue and then up to your glistening wet clit, pressing the flat of his tongue against it.

Your nerves were on fire, still high from your orgasm only a minute ago, body spent but a the same time already sparking with new arousal. Sukuna tapped his tongue against your clit, drawing another loud moan out of your mouth.

It was too much, it was so good, you didn't think you could take any more of it. Your fingers tugged firmly on his hair, trying to shove him away.

"It's enough...I can't..."

But Sukuna's fingers dug into your hips.

He lifted his face just enough so he could look at you, glinting maroon eyes looking far too amused but also burning with desire.

"It's not enough yet. Daddy has to make sure you get what you asked for. You wanted me to eat you out, didn't you? Now take it, princess. I never do things half-heartedly. You should know that."

He laughed again and went back to flicking his tongue against your clit, teasing you with light kitten licks while he grinned up at you, looking so smug and so sexy.

Your face was burning hot, lips hanging open panting loudly, probably looking so fucked out that it was a great feast for Sukuna's eyes.

He always reveled in seeing you like that. So needy for him, your body reacting so intensely to everything he did.

He pushed your legs up, his pretty face sliding down even further between your spread thighs, until his velvety tongue pushed into you, fucking you open and making you yelp.

You ended up as a horny crying mess, leaving sticky wet stains all over his face and his files, and his desk, cumming a second time for him, coating his lips with your cream, feeling embarrassed when you heard the obscene slurping noises his mouth was making as he tried to get as much of you as he could.

You sobbed with lust when he stood up after that, opening his pants hastily and then ramming his throbbing hard cock into your still twitching pussy. He fucked you unrelentingly with impatient hard thrusts, taking his pent-up arousal out on you, making you take it as hard as he wanted.

And you loved to take everything your man gave you. You wrapped your legs around his hips tightly, urging him on, sobbing his name, fingers clutching desperately at his muscular back, almost tearing the expensive fabric of his dark red button-up shirt as he fucked your pussy full of his hot cum.

All you could do was moan his name and press against him as your head lolled to the side, facing the window-wall, thinking how pretty the glittering lights from the other skyscrapers around you looked and how perfect Sukuna's cock felt inside you.

You spent more and more nights at Sukuna's penthouse. He was a busy man, and you had long work hours too, so the easiest way to have some quality time together was for you to stay overnight at his place. This way, you could fall asleep in his arms and at least steal a few kisses in the morning or take a shower with him before the two of you had to leave for your busy workdays.

The weekends were the days on which you could have more time with Sukuna. Especially Sundays had become your couple day. You always started the day with a sumptuous breakfast, spending hours eating and catching up on reading newspapers, magazines, or books.

It was one of those lazy Sundays when you woke up to gentle kisses on your neck, making you sigh happily as you pressed back against the solid warm body of your lover, smiling when you felt his deliciously large bulge greeting you.

The next thirty minutes consisted of tangled silk sheets, soft moans, and the rhythmic sound of the headboard banging against the wall as Sukuna made sweet morning love to you.

You loved waking up to this, a horny Sukuna fucking you with languid, slow thrusts, his voice still raspy from sleep when he groaned into your ear and told you sweet and dirty nothings.

You stroked his back afterwards, in slow circles, smiling up at him, feeling so carefree and exhilarated. So high on endorphins, your heart still beating a bit too fast, feeling warm and sated, pussy still filled with his gorgeous cock and his generous load of cum.

Sukuna blessed you with one of his soft smiles, too, before leaning down to press a kiss on your forehead.

"I'll make breakfast."

He untangled himself from you, making you groan softly when his thick cock slipped out of you. But you just snuggled back under his warm blanket, rolling onto your side and enjoying the blissful feeling of afterglow just a few minutes longer.

When you walked into the spacious kitchen area a while later, you were wearing one of Sukuna's casual t-shirts. You hadn't been able to resist when you saw it hanging there over the back of the elegant armchair next to his bed. It felt nice on your skin, a heavy but soft fabric, clearly expensive. And it was comfy, loose as it was on you, usually fitting around Sukuna's larger frame. It also didn't hurt that it smelled really good, just like him.

Sukuna stood at the floor-to-ceiling window, gazing out over the city. He looked so sexy but also kind of cute with his unstyled hair, ruffled from sleep and sticking up in weird places from your fingers running through it when he fucked you.

He was wearing his grey cashmere sweatpants again, which hugged his firm ass in a very mouth-watering way. You let your gaze trail unhurriedly over his shirtless gorgeous muscled back with the black tattoos lining his tan skin so attractively.

Sukuna was a beautiful man. Sometimes you caught yourself thinking it was ironic that the Yakuza boss had such a pretty face and was so stunning and sexy that he left people speechless. He looked nothing like the villains in those Disney movies.

But maybe that was what made him even more dangerous. Sukuna was so enticing, so charming, pulling people to him like a magnet. Luring them in with his handsome features, pretty pink hair, and confident smirk.

Sukuna was as close to perfect as someone could be.

It was something he worked hard on, always immaculate, always wearing his carefully constructed mask of arrogance and power, spiced up with some joking comments and a flirty attitude.

But on a Sunday morning, standing here shirtless, with messy hair, he looked much softer.

Sukuna had heard you, and he looked over his shoulder at you, blessing you with one of those rare dazzling smiles. He looked nothing like a Yakuza boss if it weren't for the tattoos lining his handsome face.

"Hey, princess."

You smiled back at him, noticing his maroon gaze slowly wandering over your face and body with a strange expression on his face.

Even after dating Sukuna for several months now, you still got nervous when he looked at you like this, as if you were the special prize that he had one. As if you were the most fascinating thing. But there was something in his gaze on this Sunday morning that you couldn't place.

His eyes stayed glued to your torso. And that's when you realized that it was the shirt you were wearing that got him so enraptured. His shirt.

Apparently, he liked seeing you in his shirt. Your smile grew wider, and before you even realized it, you were already walking towards Sukuna. His intense gaze never left you, making your heart race.

Sukuna reached out and pulled you against him. His strong arms wrapped around your shoulders, hugging you tightly.

You laughed a bit breathlessly, doing the same and wrapping your arms around his waist while rubbing your face against his bare toned pecs.

This had become your favorite place. In Sukuna's arms, pressed tightly against his warm muscular body. His strong arms gave you a feeling of safety and being taken care of.

But he loosened his hold on you after a moment and instead put a finger under your chin, tilting your face up. And there was his burning maroon gaze again, looking at you as if he could see right into your soul.

Something about the way he looked at you made your pulse flutter nervously. And then he said the words that would flip your world upside down.

"I love you."

Sukuna's voice was his usual sexy purr, but there was a tenderness in it you had never heard before.

You forgot to breathe for a moment. The world seemed to stop spinning. The only thing that existed were Sukuna's eyes boring into yours. And his lips. The lips that had said those words. Those three little words that you had been longing to hear but hadn't dared to hope for.

You weren't prepared. Sukuna had caught you by surprise. Swept you off your feet once again, just like he always seemed to do.

You had always known it was an unspoken rule that Sukuna would be the first to say it.

Sometimes you had let yourself get lost in fantasies and imagined it. In those fantasies, you had assumed he'd do it during one of the dates he took you on.

You had pictured the glittering lights of the city surrounding you as the two of you were having drinks at a rooftop bar. Or maybe during an elegant dinner in Tokyo's number one restaurant. Somehow you had always assumed that was what Sukuna would do.

You hadn't expected him to say I love you on a Sunday morning in his kitchen, where he was standing shirtless, with ruffled hair, and you were only in your panties and one of Sukuna's shirts.

You hadn't pictured it like this, but you knew with utmost certainty that it was perfect.

It felt right.

Your lips trembled with emotion, and your vision was getting blurry, but you managed to smile at him and answer softly:

"I love you too, Kuna."

Sukuna's arms tightened around you, holding you, making you feel warm and safe.

Maybe it was strange that the King of Tokyo's underworld was the one who could give you that feeling, but nothing had ever felt more like home than this. Being in Sukuna's arms, knowing that he loved you.

Nothing had ever felt so right.

The morning sun was bathing the room in soft, warm light, making Sukuna's hair look even pinker than usual and making honey-colored flecks stand out in his pretty eyes.

It reminded you of that moment in the beach house during that first weekend you had spent with Sukuna. It seemed ages ago, even though it was just a few months.

And now you were here in his penthouse, exchanging love confessions. Sukuna was your lover, your man, your partner. You had been his from the start, you knew it, and he probably did too. But it felt even more intense now that those words were spoken out loud. Why he chose that moment was unclear to you, though.

"Why did you say it now?"

"Because I wanted to."

There was his boyish smirk again that always made your heart race. Sukuna's large hand cupped your cheek, thumb caressing your skin gently. His voice turned even softer when he continued.

"I don't need a fancy restaurant or an impressive sunset to tell you how I feel about you. I have to put on a show for everyone else all the time. But not with you. So you get it here without a show. I don't have to play any games when it's just you and me."

And you understood.

He told you here where he could just be himself. Where he was in his grey sweatpants, no shirt, hair still ruffled from sleep and from your fingers raking through it when he made love to you last night and this morning.

Here, where he smiled at you, no smirk, no arrogance, just a genuinely sweet smile that made his eyes soften. Here, where he could allow himself to feel and show emotions.

"Did you want it to be somewhere else? I can take you anywhere you like and say it again. You know I'll do that."

"No, it's perfect."

It really was. Especially now that you understood. It wasn't just him who made you feel safe and at home. You did the same to him. He could let his guard down when he was with you, and that made his love declaration even sweeter.

You couldn't hold back the tears any longer, and a few escaped your eyes, spilling over and running down your cheeks.

Sukuna laughed softly,

"What are you doing, princess?"

He leaned down to catch your tears with his lips, kissing them off your skin.

"Don't cry. Save those tears for when you cum on my cock."

There it was again, the sexy purr and the amused, cocky smirk, and it made your tears stop and instead chuckle happily. You wrapped your hands around Sukuna's neck, grinning up at him, probably looking just as mischievously as he sounded when you answered him:

"Oh? You gonna show me how much you love me now or what?"

"You bet I'll do that. I'll have you crying so much, baby. Better get some tissues."

You couldn't stop yourself from squealing when Sukuna suddenly picked you up and held you against his chest princess style. He carried you back to the bedroom like that, and your laughter carried through the whole penthouse.

You didn't get breakfast that morning. But you got more I love you's from the man you loved.

"I love you." Whispered against your naked skin as his soft lips worshiped your tits, covering them with gentle kisses and sucking on your nipples until you were squirming and moaning beneath him.

"I love you." Groaned against your neck when he fucked you with powerful snaps of his hips, your legs pressed to your chest, pussy taking him so well that his voice sounded almost like he was about to cry too.

"I love you, darling." Spoken softly, when he interlaced his fingers with yours as his thrusts slowed down, and he took his sweet time with you, watching you so he could see the pleasure on your face.

And you let him hear it again too, voice thick with tears and desire: "I love you...I love you, Kuna...I love you...ah!"

You were wrapped tightly in Sukuna's arms, his face buried in the crook of your neck, leaving little kisses there when he suddenly murmured against your skin:

"Move in with me. I want to have you here all the time."

Even when it came to something like this, he made it sound like a command. Sukuna was used to everyone always doing what he told them to. It was sexy. His power always turned you on. It made you press your ass against him, your body betraying you and showing him how much you loved his natural authority.

And he knew exactly what he was doing to you, laughing softly before his lips closed around your skin and left another hickey on your neck.

You couldn't think of a reason why you shouldn't follow his wish. Sukuna was the man you loved and who loved you too. You practically spent most of your free time with him anyway.

It made you happy that he wanted to have you with him. That he invited you into his life and wanted to share his days and nights with you.

Of course, there was also the convenient side of his offer. Sukuna was rich, and it didn't hurt that he lived in one of the most luxurious and most beautiful penthouses you had ever seen. And you had seen a lot of nice apartments and houses in your line of work!

A life in luxury awaited you here if you came to move in with him. That would have probably convinced a lot of people to say yes. But it wasn't what made you say yes. It was a nice side effect, yes, but the real reason you wanted to live with him was that you loved him. Because here in this penthouse, when everyone else was gone, Sukuna was just himself, and as careful as he was about who got to see him that way, he wanted you to be here by his side.

He was just a man asking his love to offer him the company he craved, the comfort of falling asleep with a warm body pressed against him. And you were a woman in love, drunk on love really, about to cry happy tears because the man you loved wanted to wake up next to you every morning.

So you didn't hesitate long before taking the last step off the cliff and jumping into the dark ocean that was Sukuna's world.

But hadn't you already been in there ever since you first met him? Back then, those dark waters had felt so tempting but also scary and dangerous. Now they felt warm and comforting, like a calm ocean at noon, water all warmed up from the sun.

But, of course, you knew that an ocean was always an untamed thing. There would always be storms. The waters would be perilous, cold, and deadly at times. But you were ok with taking that risk. You would just have to be a good swimmer.

You would be the woman who came home to the King of Tokyo's underworld every night and shared a bed with him, no matter how stormy those waters became.

He smiled at you when you came into the penthouse on the day you moved in, Nobara trailing behind you, helping you carry your things.

Sukuna looked pleased. He walked over to you, took your hand in his, and brought it to his lips, brushing a soft kiss onto your knuckles.

"Welcome home, darling."

He spent the next few days fucking you on every surface in the penthouse. It was a rush of feverish desire, soft moans, whispered love confessions, loud, passionate cries, tangled limbs, naked skin slapping against naked skin, heated kisses, sweaty bodies moving in perfect synch.

Later on, when your passion was spent, the two of you found yourself cuddling on the soft carpet in front of the artificial fireplace. You cupped Sukuna's cheek, caressing the tattoos on his face, gazing into his pretty maroon eyes, which looked almost red in the warm light of the fake fire. You chuckled, looking at him affectionately.

"You know you already had me in all of those places. Didn't have to claim me all over again, Kuna."

"It's different now. And I will claim my woman as many times as I like. Also, those scratches on my back are kinda territorial too, you know that right, princess? I'm not the only one staking a claim here. But it's ok, baby, I know how much you want me."

His cheeky wink and the smugness in his voice were enough to make you roll your eyes before attacking him with more kisses just to shut him up.

On most evenings, when you came back to your new home after finishing work, you found Sukuna sitting in his home office.

Usually, he was still wearing one of his custom-made suits, still in work mode. Maybe his tie was loosened a bit, but other than that, he still looked thoroughly professional. He was always busy, working tirelessly to reign his Kingdom like every good ruler should do.

And you made sure to join him. On the one hand, it was to spend time with him, but you were also there to learn more about his work. To show him that you didn't shy away from it. Just like you had promised him, you wanted to see both sides of his business.

"Hey, princess."

He grinned at you as he looked up from his work, and that grin grew bigger when you walked over to him and plopped down on his lap, greeting him with a kiss.

"Hey, baby. What are you working on tonight?"

Sukuna was amused by your braveness, as he called it. He liked having you on his lap, leaning against his muscular chest as he went through his bookkeeping files or answered business e-mails. He liked that you wanted to see what he was doing.

"What is the red folder?"

"Gojo's department."

"Red for adult entertainment? Really? That's tacky."

"Oh well, princess. You can think of a better color code if you want, don't let anyone stop you."

You could tell that he was pleased, though, that you were there on his lap, asking questions about the legal and the illegal side of his business. That you were getting to know him better with every visit to his office. He was pleased that you had come back to him and that you had stayed. That you hadn't let the darker side of his world chase you away.

He always rewarded you for being a good girl when you didn't shy away from the uglier parts of his bookkeeping.

His reward was bending you over his fine mahogany desk, fucking you until you sobbed his name. He was rough, he was powerful, he was a real King. Sometimes you couldn't resist moaning things like:

"Please fuck me hard, your majesty!"

It always got a very nice reaction out of him. You loved the low growls, the way he rammed his thick cock even deeper into you when you said those things. The way his strong fingers tangled in your hair and pulled you up so he could bite your neck as he fucked into you with powerful deep thrusts.

"You like that, princess, huh? Getting fucked full by your King until it runs down your thighs."

The meetings in his home office became one of your favorite activities, and you suspected that it was the same for Sukuna.

He liked having you around to make his long workdays sweeter. You knew because he called you in your office when it was getting late, and you hadn't joined him yet.

"Come here."

"What if I'm busy?"

"When you better stop being busy. Or I promise you won't get any dick tonight. I'll take care of myself and make you watch, but you won't be allowed to touch. I won't even cum over your face."

"And what if I like watching you jerk off?"

"You won't like it when I tie you to the bed, so you won't be able to touch yourself. I know how needy you are. It would be hell for you, baby. Better not risk it."

His sexy voice sounded amused. You knew how much he enjoyed those little games the two of you were playing.

You did too. You enjoyed them so much that you were already grinding against the chair, panting and feeling your panties getting soaked. Of course, you packed up your things and hurried over to the penthouse.

And Sukuna smirked that arrogant knowing smirk and pointed to his lap. A silent command from the King.

You sat down on his strong thighs obediently, knowing that he had won this round. But didn't you win too? After all, you got everything you wanted:

Spending time with your lover, feeling his warm solid body, stealing kisses from him, riding his thigh until you were close to cumming, and sometimes until you found completion, soaking his expensive trousers with your cream.

You chose to wear skirts most of the time because when you did, Sukuna almost always slipped a hand under your skirt while you were sitting on his lap.

He just kept on working while one hand played with you absentmindedly, rubbing lazy circles around your clit, spreading your wetness over it, teasing you until you were panting heavily.

You could feel how much he enjoyed it, could feel him growing hard beneath you.

And his lips found your neck and left soft kisses there followed by a sexy whisper in your ear:

"My sweet darling hm? So wet for me. God, I love you."

Sometimes he was needy after a long day, and on those evenings, he pulled your panties aside and opened his pants, got his cock out and made you sit on it, stretched you open so deliciously but didn't do anything else. Just enjoyed the comforting warmth of your throbbing wet pussy around his thick length.

"Just sit, princess. I still have work to do, but you feel so nice around me."

A gentle kiss to the back of your neck, and then he focused on his work again.

You cockwarmed the King while he was typing e-mail replies, or going through files, making notes, or sometimes even while he was doing business calls.

If one of those calls took too long, Sukuna always got a bit bored, and you were delighted to find out that when that happened, your man's attention slipped from the call to you.

First, a slow roll of his hips, burying himself even deeper into you. Next, his strong hand wandered up your body, teasing your nipples, wrapping around your throat, applying the slightest pressure, making your lips part in a soft moan.

But your noises were muffled instantly as Sukuna's hand pressed firmly against your mouth, effectively shutting you up, so he could buck his hips and slowly fuck into you without risking you giving away what was going on in his office while he was talking to the CEO of some big company.

But most of the time, Sukuna stayed focused on his work, and you just sat there on his lap, with his gorgeous cock snuggly inside your creamy pussy, watching your man managing his legal and not-so-legal empire.

You were his good pet. You waited patiently until he was finished with work, and his hands grabbed your hips, and he smirked at you, looking like the sexy devil that he was.

"Good girl. Ok, now make Daddy cum."

And you did your best to please him, to ride his wonderful cock in the most pleasurable way.

He always helped you, always unable to hold back. His natural dominance always took over at some point. His hands tightened their grip on your hips or around your waist. His strong fingers held you in place as he fucked into your tight wet heat with brutal snaps of his hips, using you like a sex doll.

Until his eyes closed, and his head fell back against the headrest of his black leather chair, and you got blessed by those sexy low moans coming out of his parted lips.

And you knew that as dominant and powerful as Sukuna was, he was losing control too. He was yours too. Just as crazy about you as you were for him. Just as in love with you as you were with him.

Thank you so much for reading! Finally, the "I love you" scene yay!! Sukuna definitely convinced me! To be fair, though, he already has my heart and can do anything he wants, and I will swoon and (s)cream for my Daddy Kuna, so it wasn't really hard for him to get the "I love you" right lol. Anyways, please let me know what you think, how you liked the chapter, how much you want Sukuna...let me know everything! Reblogs and comments make me very happy! Thank you to everyone who sticks with this series! I'll try to post chapter 5 next week.

[commentaryvorg]

Danganronpa V3 Commentary: Bonus 3.1 - Dangan Salmon Team (Kaito Edition)

This is postgame content, so people shouldn’t be reading this without having already finished the main game anyway. But just to be safe: while this is non-canon character stuff, I will sometimes be mentioning events that happened in the main story, so there will be spoilers for the main game.

First of all, can we talk about the ridiculous title of this game mode? “Love Across the Universe: Dangan Salmon Team”. Or, in Japanese, “Year-round Space Variety Love Show: Dangan Red Salmon Gang”. The salmon part is just your average Danganronpa weirdness, but on the other hand I do like the inexplicable space theme they’ve also got going. I like to think this is less because of the fake story about them being on a spaceship, since they don’t try and push that angle at all in this AU, and more just because Kaito, did you know Kaito is the most important character.

The title screen of this mode really leans into that space theme, too. It’s even got a rocket! And most importantly the rocket has a window, remember how Very Important it is for all rockets to have windows.

(In other Inexplicable Space Theming for this game, there’s a BGM piece used during trials that’s called “Class Trial Space Edition”. SPACE. Space is important in this game, you guys.)

For clarification, since the title does not remotely explain the point of this, this is the social interaction side mode in which you can get the FTEs of everyone you didn’t do during the main story (not that that’s what I’m here for) and then also some extra bonus interactions. Those bonus bits are what I’m here for, specifically with Kaito, because it’s me, and Kaito is the only character I like to such an extent that I even want to cover this bonus fluff for him. The title is about space, so clearly spending even more time with Kaito in particular is the entire point of this game mode, right?

This mode has the most half-assed introduction explaining its premise which I’m not going to go into in detail because it doesn’t deserve it. The gist is that things begin as they do in canon, except then Monokuma abruptly decides to cancel the killing game and have a reality dating show instead because apparently that’s what the outside world would prefer. The couples who end up together get to leave!! which is gross and manipulative and amatonormative and unfortunately very believable as something a shallow audience like this one might want to see. And, sure, it is an improvement on them being made to kill each other, but this is definitely still some level of fucked up. If any romances did form during this, how could the people involved be sure their partners’ feelings were really real and not just faked so that the two of them could escape? How could they even be completely sure about that for their own feelings? This would result in the most unhealthy of relationships.

Kaito:  “Hey, what the hell are you talking about!? Telling us to fall in love or whatever? What do you want us to do!?”

Okay I said I wouldn’t do this in detail but I do like that it’s Kaito in particular who objects to this specific idea. If people are being forced to fall in love, then it’s not people acting on their own feelings at all! Kaito doesn’t have any specific opinions about romance that we’ve ever heard, but this is from his principles about being true to yourself.

So… that’s the thing about this mode. While it makes sense with the overarching V3 twist that this is just to entertain a shallow TV audience, it leaves things with this uncomfortable patina of being all about romance. Even though the free time events are exactly as they are in the main story, and most of what the game calls “dates” aren’t explicitly romantic either, that’s still apparently supposed to be the goal. And while I just talked about how messed-up this setup is for forming romances, which could at least be potentially interesting to explore if they acknowledged that, the narrative plays it completely straight because of course it fucking does. It’s not only the in-universe audience that’s being amatonormative here.

Kaede’s FTEs in particular, since they only exist in this Amatonormativity Mode, really lay on the romance more heavily than I think they would in any other context, which makes me not want to cover them even though I otherwise might like to because Kaede’s one of my favourite characters. (As far as I remember, they’re not bad or anything, it’s just Not My Jam.) And it seems that some of the characters’ ending scenes for this mode also embrace this annoying idea and shoehorn more romance in them than they really should have. For example Maki’s ending scene is mostly fine until it suddenly insists that she and Shuichi are romantically into each other, which is provably not in line with canon because Maki becomes equally close to Shuichi in the main story and there are no romantic feelings on either end there so why should this be any different. And it’s not just her ending scene: a small handful of Maki’s dates and other dialogue specific to this mode try and make her all stereotypically tsundere towards Shuichi in what I can only assume is a very tiresome attempt to hint at romance between them, and ugh no get it away leave Maki the fuck alone she does not deserve this.

However, this game is also reasonably heteronormative, and while heteronormativity is of course objectively terrible and needs to go away, it does mean that when things are also being amatonormative (another thing that is equally terrible and equally needs to go away), there’s only 50% as much amatonormativity as there could be. So, since Shuichi and Kaito both happen to be guys, all of Kaito’s scenes in this mode remain completely platonic. While Monokuma didn’t mention this and everything in the flavouring of this mode is trying to pretend this is totally all about romance, apparently any people who become epic inseparable platonic friends also get to leave? Which I am very happy about, because I would not want to cover this otherwise. I don’t like it when my adorable friendships are diminished with romance, dammit.

So now to complain about the other awkward thing about this mode, which is how horrendously artificial and inorganic it feels to actually play. For one thing, we’re playing as Shuichi, but he’s already removed his hat and is apparently also already Kaito’s sidekick as we’ll be seeing, even though literally none of the character development and interactions that were required for Shuichi to make that progress has happened. And that shouldn’t have had time to happen offscreen either, since Monokuma declared that there’ll be a 10-day time limit for people to partner up, and then you get dropped into the game on Day 1. It’s just really hard to buy this AU as a properly justified and backed-up story.

Then there’s the fact that all the other characters you can hang out with just stand in a fixed spot in the courtyard – always the same spot every day – apparently just waiting for Shuichi to come and talk to them. If you do an FTE and not a “date”, they will then stay in this exact spot (apart from rare exceptions in which the FTE itself involves going somewhere in particular) for the whole event, despite that this might be awkwardly in earshot of another student who’s busy standing unmoving in their own spot nearby. There’s no sense of this being a story and not just a game – no hints of any kind of other friendships or community forming or any of these characters acting like people beyond just existing for Shuichi to get close to.

Which, okay, is pretty understandable since this is just a hasty bonus mode mostly slapped in here to make getting everyone’s FTEs easier than replaying chapters of the main story. But even so, there’s Kaede’s and Rantaro’s FTEs and then all of the “date” scenes and graduation scenes which are all scenes that only exist in this AU – that’s precisely why I’m here covering Kaito’s ones in this commentary – and so it would be really nice if they’d actually put, like, any effort at all into making this AU feel like a real story to give these scenes a more robust context. As it is, these scenes mostly just feel like context-less snippets of character insight, and if anything really needs more context then you have to use your imagination and come up with it all yourself.

But anyway, I’m here to talk about practically everything Kaito ever says and does, and I’m damn well going to do it regardless of how little context I get for it.

First, actually, while wandering around the courtyard I learned that you can talk to the two Exisals that are at work there, one of which is the good old red Exisal, and Monotaro actually has something kind of interesting to say. (Shocking, I know.)

Monotaro:  “I’m the red Monokub! That means I’m a main character, so I don’t tell lies! …Hm? But then, why do they call them ‘bright red lies’? Are lies red? Does that mean I’m a liar?”

Obviously I always figured that Kaito got the red Exisal because it’s the main character’s one and therefore the most fitting for a hero like Kaito (plus there wasn’t a purple option). But this is an interesting potential extra reason why they chose that colour! I can only assume this is a Japanese saying because I’ve never heard it before, but that’s neat if it’s really a thing.

Kaito’s designated Unmoving Courtyard Spot is sadly not the training spot. Instead, it is worryingly close to the gates to the casino. Kaito, no.

Dates Hangouts

So the main bulk of content unique to this mode is a series of mini-scenes you can get with each character after having maxed out their FTEs. The game refers to these as “dates”, but screw that, I’m going to refer to them as “hangouts” despite what the game calls them because the romantic connotations of the word “date” annoy me. Let’s hang out with Kaito! In a… slightly different sense of hanging out than what happens for his FTEs.

You get to choose one of five locations to hang out in, and then the game gives you a set of three options to pick for that place, which will vary in how much your hangout partner enjoys it. If you then later hang out with that person in the same place, it’ll give you a second set of three options, and then a third set the next time. Once you’ve had all three sets for a given location, it won’t give you any more options and you’ll just get a generic “we hung out for a while” textbox. So within one playthrough of this mode, for each character, you can only see three out of the nine mini-scenes for each place, or only fifteen out of the forty-five in total. Which is fine if you’re just trying to max someone out and get their ending, because that takes a minimum of five scenes if you get the best outcomes. But if you’re trying to see all the scenes, it’s a bit inconvenient.

What I’m saying is that I’m going to have to do three separate playthroughs of this mode to get all of these for Kaito. I do not envy whichever wiki writer went and compiled these for literally every character, but I am definitely thankful to them for removing the need for anyone else to do this, and for allowing me to see all these scenes beforehand without doing this myself. (I’m doing it myself here anyway because it feels more natural to me to transcribe the lines from my Vita after doing it for the whole game, but at least I wouldn’t have had to if I didn’t want to.)

Some of these are just going to be me fairly superficially going “hee look at Kaito being a dork”, and some will be me discussing how Good Kaito’s principles and outlook are some more. But the biggest reason I wanted to do this is that some of them go deeper than that and are relevant to his issues in some interesting way. They’re pretty delightfully subtle about it, as Kaito’s issues usually are because he refuses to talk about them, but they’re very present even in this context of just hanging out with Shuichi, since Kaito’s issues revolve heavily around his relationship with his sidekick.

For the sake of not having this be a completely disjointed read, I’ve grouped these hangouts not by the arbitrary categories of which location they take place in, but rather by some of the general ideas relating to Kaito’s character or outlook that I end up discussing with them.

First, though, just a couple of odd ones out that didn’t quite fit into any of the upcoming categories.

[A/V Room]

-      Watch a horror movie

Kaito:  “L-Like I’d watch something so uncool. What’s so fun about watching fake g-g-ghosts? Don’t get me wrong! I’m not s-scared or anything!”

Yep, this was of course a bad idea. The purpose of Kaito being written with his phobia is irrelevant in this non-killing-game AU, but since the writers changed their minds about doing the killing game after creating the characters, he still has it anyway.

While a player would choose this knowing full well it’s the wrong option, at least this isn’t Shuichi deliberately being a dick, because in this AU he wouldn’t know about Kaito’s phobia. He probably innocently thought Kaito might enjoy the thrill or something.

(Observe how “Kaito has a phobia of ghosts” is something that doesn’t fit into any of the categories I’ll be having here, which all have some kind of connection to meaningful parts of his character. Tsumugi, you’re a bad writer.)

[Library]

-      “Let’s make a tower of books”

There’s only one thing of note about this one, which is this:

Kaito:  “Let’s make a tower of books that’ll pierce the heavens!”

This is a delightfully blatant Gurren Lagann reference and I love it. They knew. They knew exactly what they were doing with Kaito’s character, and then some.

Astronauts and space

Obviously a necessary category for Kaito. Let’s talk about SPACE and his astronaut training!

[A/V Room]

-      Watch a documentary on athletes

Kaito:  “Seeing this makes me remember my astronaut training. Astronaut training involves just as much exercise as athletes do.”

It’s neat that he enjoys this because it reminds him of his own training. Kaito really would not normally slack off with exercise; the only reason it seemed like he was doing that in the main storyline is because he was sick!

Kaito:  “I wonder how all those guys who trained with me are doing…”

Yeah, uh, about that…

Kaito:  “Alright! Thinking about that made me super motivated! We’re definitely gonna get out of this place, you got it!?”

Oh dear, Kaito now especially wants to get out of here so he can see his friends from astronaut training again. They… don’t exist. Neither do his grandparents. When everyone escapes in this AU, they are all going to very abruptly learn that they’re “fictional” and none of their loved ones are waiting for them at all. That is not going to be fun for them. (And they’re going to learn that off-camera, in a way that is no longer part of this “story”, so the audience isn’t going to see how fucked-up this is and nothing is going to change.)

Since they’ll still have memories of their loved ones that feel real to them, and yet they can’t ever actually see them again, it’s basically going to be feel equivalent to if their loved ones had all died while they were in here. They’re going to be grieving for people they know in their heads never even existed. That did also apply to Shuichi, Maki and Himiko in the canon ending, but it’d have been a lot less significant next to all their grief for the real people whose deaths they actually experienced. In this AU, though, it’d be a much bigger thing.

(On the other hand, their pasts being fictional is still a good thing for Maki at least (whose best friend was already dead in her memories). And Kaito would still definitely take that opportunity to be happy for her even as he’s reeling from his own loss.)

[A/V Room]

-      Watch a documentary on aliens

You’d think this’d be the one Kaito would enjoy the most of the three options it’s part of, but it really, really isn’t.

Kaito:  “I totally get why you’d be interested in this documentary.”

Of course. Everyone should be interested in aliens, right?

But, alas, he goes on to say that he found out some time after having watched it himself that it was all fake.

Kaito:  “The day I found that out… I’ve never felt despair like I did that day… How dare they mess with my adventurous heart…”

Turns out, the only way to make Kaito feel despair is to give him false hope that aliens exist, and then take it away. That’s adorable.

(Obviously he doesn’t mean real, proper despair, though. Kaito is literally incapable of feeling that; it’s like his superpower – remember when he convinced himself the destroyed outside world maybe wasn’t the truth with no evidence purely for the sake of not giving up? But still, it’s amusing that he uses that word.)

I wonder how convincing the documentary even was in the first place. Wouldn’t surprise me if it emphatically wasn’t and Kaito only believed it out of childlike optimism when he really should have been able to tell it was fake already, because he’s a dork like that.

[A/V Room]

-      Watch a documentary on bugs

Kaito:  “I remember a while back there was some theory that bugs came from space. All life came from the ocean and as far as I know, there aren’t any bugs there.”

Kaito, no, that is not how evolution works. Apparently whatever science credentials he has do not extend into biology. There being almost no bugs in the ocean any more doesn’t change the fact that they evolved from ocean-dwelling organisms just like all life did. There are no humans who live in the ocean either, but that doesn’t make humans aliens.

Kaito should sit down with Gonta sometime and learn about the evolutionary biology of bugs. He’d find it interesting (even if it does mean no bug-aliens), because he finds everything interesting! And it’d mean Gonta would have someone he could actually talk to about bugs who’s genuinely interested and not secretly squirming from revulsion.

Kaito:  “That theory got shot down, but I always get so pumped up by stuff like that!”

I should hope it got shot down, because it didn’t make any goddamn sense. It can’t have even been a proper scientific theory in the first place. But of course Kaito just liked to be able to imagine there’s already aliens on Earth. Nothing’s stopping him from still pretending bugs could be secret aliens just to amuse himself! Fictions are exciting even though you know they’re not true!

[Dining Hall]

-      Drinking green tea after a meal

Kaito:  “Yeah! Green tea’s great! A piping hot cup of fresh brewed tea is seriously the best.”

While I’m emphatically not an expert on these things because I don’t drink either beverage, I would have pegged Kaito as more of a coffee person than a tea person. Maybe it’s just because tea is a lot more of a thing in Japan than coffee. Or he gets it from his grandparents.

Kaito:  “But now that I think about it, you can’t drink fresh tea out in space, huh? It’s so obvious, I never even considered it… Well then! I’ll just enjoy it as much as I can on Earth!”

Oh no, what do you mean that going to space might be kind of harsh and empty of luxuries and not the best thing ever in every conceivable way!? He really has not wanted to consider any of the downsides of it at all. But at least he keeps a positive outlook about it now that he’s realised it, because he’s Kaito.

(Maybe Kaito likes tea so much that making himself a nice cuppa is one of the first things he does when he gets back to Earth… and then he promptly drops and breaks the cup because what is gravity.)

[Library]

-      “Let’s study”

Kaito:  “Yeah! In order to become an astronaut, you gotta study hard!”

Reminder: Kaito is not an idiot, and despite being kind of oblivious about certain things, is actually very book-smart!

Kaito:  “Let’s start by studying language! And don’t let me hear you say you don’t need it.”

And it’s so him that this is the thing he wants to encourage Shuichi to study. Communication is vital in all walks of life, not just in being an astronaut!

Kaito:  “There’s nothing unnecessary in this world!”

I still love this philosophy of his. Kaito is so good.

[Library]

-      “Let’s look through photographs”

Kaito:  “Photographs of the planets, huh?”

Yes, Kaito, Shuichi definitely meant this, he couldn’t possibly have been interested in any other kinds of photographs except those of SPACE.

Kaito:  “When I think about actually being there and seeing them… I get the chills!”

THE ROCKET HAVING A WINDOW WAS VERY IMPORTANT

(not that he saw planets through it, but just being there and seeing it himself was so so worth it for any part of space)

Kaito:  “Just you wait, planets! I, Kaito Momota, Luminary of the Stars, am gonna see you with my own two eyes!”

He’s such an optimistic dork. Just like with his bold claims to Kaede about how he’s going to meet aliens, this is probably not a thing that’ll happen within his lifetime. Maybe Mars, but not, like, multiple planets. But hey, let him dream!

[Courtyard]

-      “Let’s relax in the sun”

Kaito:  “It’s been a while since I was able to get some sun. Ever since I was a kid, I’d think about the universe while sunbathing.”

Oh, Kaito. He would turn sunbathing into an excuse to think about space, even though he can’t see the stars when the sun’s out.

Kaito:  “But these days, I’ve been so busy with training, I haven’t had time to relax. Thanks to you, I remembered how important it is to relax sometimes!”

Yes, Kaito, it is important to rest sometimes and to not push yourself too hard. Of course that’s something he’d only think about when somebody else reminds him of it.

[Library]

-      “I’m getting sleepy”

Kaito:  “Yeah, it’s pretty quiet in here. But the silence of a library is nothing compared to the universe, y’know?”

Somehow, Kaito finds an excuse to make this about space, too. What a dork.

Kaito:  “After all, the universe is just one big silent room. If you went up there, you’d probably be sleepy all the time.”

You’re… not doing a great job of making space sound inviting, Kaito. What happened to all the passion and adventure there’s supposed to be out there?

[A/V Room]

-      Play dominoes with the movie boxes

Kaito:  “I may not seem like it, but I’m pretty good at setting up dominoes! During astronaut training, we had to do dexterity exercises.”

More fun little tibits about the kind of skills astronauts have to learn!

Kaito:  “I, Kaito Momota, Luminary of the Stars, will make a domino setup that will shock even you!”

But even so, it’s not the “Ultimate Astronaut” but rather the Luminary of the Stars who’s good at this, because he still much prefers the latter title for himself.

Also,  the “even you” is interesting. Why would Shuichi in particular not usually be shocked by an epic domino setup? Does Kaito’s secret idolisation of Shuichi even extend to thinking he’d be inexplicably good at this? (Kaito’s secret idolisation of Shuichi shouldn’t even be nearly as much of a thing in this trial-less AU, though.)

[Dining Hall]

-      “Let’s go in the freezer”

This is one of those very odd, why-would-Shuichi-ever-actually-suggest-this options. But it works on Kaito!

Kaito:  “Did you know… In astronaut training, you have to be able to survive in subzero temperatures! If it’s a competition to see who can hold out the longest, I won’t lose!”

More astronaut training things! And of course Kaito would turn it into a competition. Though it is a bit much of him to think that Shuichi should do this even though he has no need to train in this particular dangerous way, but Shuichi did inexplicably suggest it, so, uh.

Kaito:  “The loser has to say how many girls he’s had a crush on!”

…I don’t know about this line, though. While I don’t headcanon Kaito very strongly this way because there isn’t any actual evidence relevant to it like there is for Maki, I like to believe it could at least be possible for Kaito to be aromantic. This might just be me wanting to project onto him, admittedly, but the way he puts so much investment into his platonic relationships, including having an especially committed type of them in the hero-and-sidekick thing, is very enjoyably non-amatonormative of him. It just doesn’t feel right to me that Kaito would care that much about crushes – and, in particular, even less so that he would care about someone else’s crushes, which are really none of his business unless they choose to tell him about them. Peer pressuring Shuichi into admitting to anything of that nature when he might not be comfortable doing so really, really doesn’t seem to me like the kind of thing Kaito would do.

I don’t really have any actual evidence with which to argue that this is definitely out of character for Kaito, so this could just be me here – but it seems quite possible that this is an example of a line that kinda belongs in this next section.

The clueless intern

Remember that clueless intern last post who somehow ended up writing a handful of Kaito’s lines in the demo despite having only a very shallow grasp of his character that misses everything important about him? (That’s totally why those out-of-character parts in the demo happened, shush.) Well, apparently they were also given a few of his hangouts to write, as well. I feel it’s important to point out which few of these involve things that Kaito shouldn’t actually be saying.

[Gym]

-      “Let’s play basketball”

Kaito:  “You got guts to challenge me at basketball! Didn’t I tell you? My basketball skills are universe-tier.”

So why wasn’t Kaito in the basketball club in middle school? Because Ryoma needed to die, of course. (I suggested soccer as his alternate favourite sport in my Kaito-isn’t-into-tennis AU, but basketball, as another team sport, would make just as much sense.)

Kaito:  “World-class athletes try to be my apprentice just to steal my skills.”

It’s potentially interesting to see him use the word “apprentice” here, when really that word would be a much more accurate and representative word for what he calls a “sidekick”. I guess in Kaito’s head, an apprentice is something totally different and only there to learn tangible skills such as this, without any kind of emotional support being involved? …Orrr the writer for this hangout just doesn’t know what they’re doing at all; that’s also possible.

Kaito:  “But… my muscles are cramping, so I can’t really play basketball right now.”

See, I don’t like this. This whole thing was Kaito boasting about something he knows is not true with no intention of ever even trying to back it up, and making an excuse that is blatantly nothing but a lie. That is not remotely what Kaito is like, despite that he might seem that way at a glance. He may talk big, but the intent behind his words is always genuine, and for every instance in canon of him making what seems like an excuse to get out of backing up his words, it’s actually because he is literally sick and doesn’t want his sidekicks to know that. Meanwhile, this here seems like it was written by someone who knew almost nothing about Kaito’s character, briefly saw the part where he talks big, and interpreted it in the most superficial and typical way possible rather than actually understanding him at all.

[Dining Hall]

-      “Let’s bake something”

Kaito:  “Sorry, I’m not really in the mood for sweets. I need something… more manly. Something that’s gonna fill me up.”

This is the only actual time in the whole game, aside from the very first Misogyny Bullet that was also provably out of character, where Kaito talks about manliness in a way that seemingly is about stereotypically masculine things, if sweets apparently aren’t. This really isn’t his usual definition of the concept, and as such it also reads as out of character that he’d use that word here.

Kaito:  “If you eat too many sweets, you’ll become a spoiled person.”

Still, at least he also has a more meaningful reason for not liking sweets much. Plus, you’d think that as an astronaut, he’d want to eat healthier stuff that’d keep his strength up.

(All this said, though, based on his gift preferences, Kaito does at least like ice cream.)

[Gym]

-      “Ah, maybe we should take off our clothes?”

Another one that, what the hell, writers, Shuichi would be way too shy and awkward to actually suggest this even if he did secretly want to, this is blatantly just in there for some eyerolly shipbait. I would ignore this one entirely, but… we kinda need to talk about this.

Kaito:  “Huh!? What are you talking about!? Save that stuff for the girls! Or wait, did you come out or something and not tell me!?”

Okay, so originally my plan for talking about this line was to say that I have no idea where the hell some people get the idea that Kaito is homophobic. This is the only line of his in the entire game that actually addresses the topic of homosexuality at all, and it’s apparently him being upset at the idea that Shuichi would have come out and not told him. His sidekick’s supposed to be able to tell him anything! He’d want Shuichi to trust him enough to be the first person he tells about something like this! Of course he’d be supportive about who Shuichi is!

…But the expression Kaito’s actually making for these lines is a kind-of-horrified face which definitely does not allow for that reading of it, and no, fuck off, fuck you, game, Kaito is better than this, he would be supportive of his sidekick, and of everyone, no matter what. This is Danganronpa’s occasionally-shitty writing temporarily affecting Kaito in a way that is not in character for him and I will hear nothing else.

See, okay, maybe I can accept Kaito having passively picked up bigotry like this through cultural osmosis as he was growing up (perhaps through his grandparents’ old-fashioned views, although people use his grandparents to justify Kaito’s supposed bigotry way too much when they should just be pointing out that it’s not actually in character for him to think that way at all as I’m about to do here and have done previously on the topic of misogyny). But that’s only a view Kaito would ever have in the background without really thinking about it. Kaito’s principles (his concept of manliness, even!) put a lot of focus on thinking for yourself and not just mindlessly going along with what other people think without deciding on your own if you agree with it. So as soon as a situation came along in which he actually consciously noticed his passive bigotry, Kaito would question why he even thinks that way and realise it’s wrong.

Remember, Kaito believes more strongly than anything that everyone is important and amazing and deserves to be the hero of their own story. He puts so much value in communication and co-operation between all different walks of life (he speaks English and Russian fluently and learned the cultures along with the languages), and even hopes for communication between humans and aliens if they exist out there. The moment Kaito were to consciously catch himself feeling inclined to think that some people apparently don’t deserve respect just because of something arbitrary about them that isn’t hurting anyone else, he would immediately stop, go “what the hell is wrong with me, that’s bullshit”, and work on training his brain to stop thinking that way at all. Kaito’s not perfect, but he’s always trying to be the best he can be, and this would be no exception. Anyone who thinks Kaito wouldn’t do this doesn’t properly appreciate his character, and that includes the writers of this game when they’re being like this.

[Library]

-      “Let’s read a dirty book”

Another one that Shuichi shouldn’t actually have any in-character reason to pick, because he is evidently not this kind of person, remember when that was literally a vital plot point?

Kaito:  “Hehe! Of course! It’s weird for guys to not look for those kinds of books in a library!”

The way Kaito phrases this… kind of almost suggests that he’s not actually doing this because he wants to, but just because peer pressure and society has made him think he’s supposed to want to. I’d like to say this is something the writers are deliberately trying to hint at, but that makes very little sense for Kaito in particular, because that’s not thinking for himself.

And if Kaito is supposed to genuinely believe that obviously all guys should be like this… then that’s also kind of gross and another thing I refuse to accept is actually in-character for Kaito to think. Shitty Danganronpa writing, leave Kaito alone.

Mentions of manliness

But anyway, let’s move on from those brief instances of out-universe bad writing and see some more examples of what Kaito’s concept of manliness actually means. He brings it up in a few of these hangouts, and all but that earlier one have a perfectly good understanding of it.

[Courtyard]

-      “Let’s get some fresh air”

Kaito:  “Yeah, it’s a hundred times better than the stale air inside. A man’s gotta be in a wide-open space, y’know? Staying indoors for too long will turn you into a narrow-minded person.”

Oh, look, Kaito explicitly does not want to be a narrow-minded person. Cough cough like not a sexist or a homophobe, cough! He even connects being open-minded to his concept of manliness, because of course this is along similar lines to that! Be true to yourself – and to do that, think for yourself!

Kaito:  “That’s why I’m gonna go to the universe and be a universe-minded guy!”

Also, SPACE. But this actually makes a lot more sense than you might think – some astronauts have described something called the Overview Effect. It’s an overwhelming feeling they get when first seeing the Earth from space: the sense that all of the fights and prejudices and differences between humans down there are so insignificant in the grand scheme of how beautiful our planet is and how small we are in the vastness of space, and that we need to work together to protect our precious tiny blue dot. Did you know that astronauts are good? It’s not just Kaito; all astronauts are good.

[A/V Room]

-      “We should focus on reality, not movies”

Kaito:  “Right on! That’s my sidekick! A man should chase real passions, not sit around watching fake stuff!”

Since Kaito’s idea of being a man is all about being true to yourself, it follows that he’d also think a man should focus more on things that are real! At least, I guess, in terms of “chasing passions”, aka the things he wants to do with his life. We already know plenty about how much Kaito enjoys believing in fictional things like magic and kids’ games just because they’re fun.

Kaito:  “Hell yeah! I’m fired up like crazy now! I’ll teach you all about the universe as I imagine it!”

Kaito. Buddy. The universe as you imagine it is not reality either. You dork.

[Courtyard]

-      “Let’s go back inside”

Kaito:  “Huh? Why’d you pick this place if you were just gonna go back? It’s not manly to keep changing your mind like that!”

Be sure of yourself! Only decide on something if you know you’re going to stick to it, and if you do change your mind after that, it should be for a good reason!

[Dining Hall]

-      Sleeping after a meal

Kaito:  “Yeah, you get it! As expected from my sidekick! They say sleeping after eating makes you fat, but you can’t fight instinct!”

Oh, dear. According to Ryoma’s comments on this same option (and you’d think he’d know better than Kaito), sleeping after eating is indeed unhealthy. But Kaito tells himself it’s a good thing to do anyway because it’s what he feels like he wants to do. And he’s happy that Shuichi agrees with him on this, even though it’s not actually a good thing to agree with him on.

Kaito:  “And now that I said that… I’m feeling sleepy myself… Alright! I’m gonna listen to my instincts and sleep like a man!”

Sounds ridiculous, but actually a correct use of Kaito’s concept of manliness! He’s listening to what his body wants him to do, which totally means he’s being true to himself, right? …Even though in this instance he apparently shouldn’t be.

Exercise and training

This being Kaito, the options suggesting some kind of exercise are some of his favourites. Well… usually.

[Dining Hall]

-      Exercising after a meal

Kaito:  “I know that’s best, but don’t you get sleepy after you eat?”

Apparently Kaito is perfectly aware that it’s a bad habit of his to sleep after meals. Come on, Kaito, if you know it’s bad, you should be trying to break that habit, instead of justifying it to yourself because it can technically be argued to be manliness!

This hangout is one of the bad-outcome ones, and maybe the reason why is just that Kaito apparently really wanted to be validated by not being the only one with this bad habit.

Kaito:  “I guess even though you’re my sidekick, we’re pretty different sometimes…”

But… it seems like it might just be the more general thought that he’s different from Shuichi that’s bothering Kaito here, as if he’s worried Shuichi might be less inclined to be his friend if he felt Kaito was too different from him. (Hold this thought – there’ll be more along these lines in the next post.) Being different doesn’t stop you from being friends, though, Kaito! He and Shuichi are very different from each other in a lot of ways, but that’s what makes them such a good team, because they complement each others’ weaknesses so well.

[Gym]

-      “Let’s warm up a bit”

Kaito:  “Yeah, it’d suck if I got injured and had to give up on being an astronaut. Let’s work on our warm ups, then. Oh, hold on. Is it possible to get injured doing warm ups? If that’s the case, then we better do some pre-warm up warm ups.”

Kaito… does not seem to be all that knowledgeable about how physical training actually works. (See also: his totally very “systematic method” for his sidekicks’ training.) Maybe he really should watch that documentary about athletes. Or sit down with Ryoma and learn a thing or two from him… except, ha ha, that’s not going to happen very easily now is it.

(…Not that I know any better myself whether Kaito’s right to be worried here. I may do daily exercise now thanks to Kaito, but I also have a very systematic method for it, which is of course to say that I don’t and have no idea what I’m doing.)

You’d think Kaito should know this stuff, but, well, maybe his in-universe writers were slacking off while giving him memories of the physical part of astronaut training. Which should have been a difficult mistake to make when you consider that Team Danganronpa must have this character-creation thing down to a science by now and that sport-based talents are very common. They should have a standard “general athlete knowledge base” section of Flashback Light data that they put into every sporty character’s Flashback Light, which should have included Kaito; they’re clearly aware that astronauts train just as much as athletes since they gave him knowledge of that fact. But apparently someone was sleeping on the job.

[Courtyard]

-      “Let’s dance!”

Kaito:  “Huh? Dance with you? Why? It’s not like I don’t want to, but… Well, whatever! If you’re suggesting it, I’m sure you’ve got a good reason!”

Let’s pretend Shuichi was suggesting this as a different kind of exercise, even though Kaito should probably have realised that’s why and have said so and been on board with it for that specific reason. Kaito should enjoy dancing in particular, too, because it’s all about expressing yourself!

(Honestly, the lack of Shuichi having any of his own dialogue in these past the initial options, leaving the hangout partner essentially just talking to thin air, is kind of awkward sometimes.)

[Gym]

-      “Let’s do some muscle training”

The obviously correct choice for when you are in a gym with Kaito!

Kaito:  “Alright! Let’s do 500 push-ups! We’re gonna go non-stop, so get ready!”

That is a big number. I can maybe imagine reaching 500 with a lot of breaks to rest – like, a lot – but non-stop? Yikes. Especially for Shuichi, who’s still new to this.

Kaito:  “Huh? That’s too many? 500 should be a piece of cake for my sidekick! Don’t complain, just do it!”

But of course Kaito pushes Shuichi into at least trying anyway.

Kaito:  “The impossible is possible! All you gotta do is make it so!”

Ayyyy! He still wants this to be known even in the bonus mode. If Shuichi believes 500 non-stop push-ups are possible, he’s a lot more likely to be able to do it than if he’s already written it off as impossible, after all!

…I doubt Shuichi managed to get anywhere close to 500. But then, I also doubt that Kaito did either, so after they both inevitably collapsed in exhaustion, they probably agreed to get there more slowly with breaks after all.

(If Maki were here too, though, she could totally do 500 non-stop without breaking a sweat.)

[Courtyard]

-      “Let’s go for a run”

Kaito:  “Yeah, sounds good! I haven’t been able to do my daily training since we came here.”

Surely he has been doing his daily training since he started training Shuichi under whatever circumstances kicked that off in this AU? Ugggh this AU and its lack of a proper contextual story for any of this.

Kaito:  “Let’s run like we’re chasing our pasts!”

Usually when Kaito has a line that appears kind of ridiculous and there-to-sound-cool, there is actually some kind of meaningful substance to it that makes sense in his head. But I’m not sure what he could mean with this one here. Kaito’s generally more about people putting their pasts behind them and looking to the future, after all.

Kaito:  “Detectives need stamina too, right?”

Well, they do if they’re going to be having cases that involve things like capturing alligators, apparently. (Man, Shuichi should tell Kaito about that case. He’d enjoy a story like that, no doubt.)

Principles and advice

Some of these hangouts lead to Kaito showing his delightful principles about keeping a positive outlook on things. (This is partly because quite a few of the obvious-bad-hangout-partner options involve Shuichi grumpily complaining for no good reason, which Kaito would obviously take issue with.)

[A/V Room]

-      Watch a comedy movie

Kaito:  “Movies like this are great for turning your mood around. When you’re down, all you gotta do is let out a laugh and everything’s good!”

It’s interesting that Kaito apparently likes comedy movies not exactly for their own sake, but rather because they’re good for cheering you up. What Kaito has just implied here (definitely without having meant to) is that he can in fact feel down sometimes and has found that things like this work for pulling him out of it.

Kaito:  “If you’re down all the time, then your dreams might get away from you!”

After all, you shouldn’t just wallow in your sadness when you could be doing whatever you can to stay positive!

[Gym]

-      “Let’s train… our minds…”

Kaito:  “Yeah! It’s got nothing to do with exercising, but your mind’s important!”

Of course Kaito thinks this! Although, what does he mean it’s got nothing to do with exercising? The whole point of him getting his sidekicks to exercise is to help with their mental health!

Kaito:  “If you can’t visualize your goals, you’ll never be able to achieve them.”

If you can’t believe the impossible is possible, you’ll never be able to make it so!

Kaito:  “That’s just what I’d expect from my sidekick! You get what’s important!”

Aww, he’s so happy that his sidekick already understands the type of mindset he likes to advocate.

(Fun irrelevant fact: I had Kaito use the sentence “You get what’s important!” in a piece of extremely silly Kaito content on my main blog just because it sounded like the kind of thing he might say, while not remembering at the time that he says that exact sentence in the actual game. I was quite amused when I saw this line again.)

[A/V Room]

-      “I might fall asleep…”

Kaito:  “Well, sure. If you grab some boring movie or something. But if you decide that’s gonna happen from the start, then it probably will. If you always expect the worst, then you’ll always get the worst!”

Kaito’s philosophy is just so good. He always encourages people to try and have a positive outlook, not just because it’ll help them feel better, but because it actually matters to what they’ll be able to achieve. You have to believe the impossible is possible before you’ll ever be able to make it so!

[Library]

-      “This is boring…”

(This is another one that doesn’t make any sense for Shuichi to say. He likes novels; he would not be bored in a library.)

Kaito:  “Really? There are so many books here, there’s gotta be some that interest you. Before you start complaining, try looking around a bit more.”

Don’t just pointlessly complain when there’s something you could be doing to make things better! Don’t give up before you’ve even tried!

[Library]

-      “Sure is dusty in here”

Kaito:  “Yeah, but instead of complaining, you should do something about it. If you’re gonna be my sidekick, then you gotta know that much.”

I like that this one isn’t just Kaito’s don’t-complain principle, but is also him asserting that any sidekick of his should already know about this principle of his and be trying to follow that advice. People only become Kaito’s sidekicks once they’ve made the choice to try and change themselves and make their situation better, after all. His principles about not complaining when you could be doing something are basically the same idea as that.

[Gym]

-      “I’m tired…”

Kaito:  “Huh? You haven’t even done anything yet. If you keep talking like that, I won’t hold back, even if you are my sidekick!”

This is presumably more of Kaito’s don’t-complain principle going on here, except this time he’s not even mentioning the principle itself and is just assuming his sidekick should know better and being annoyed that he’s still complaining anyway.

I should note, though, that if Shuichi complained about being tired in a different context, Kaito would definitely take it very differently and see it as a sign that something’s wrong with him and offer help like always. But in this context, in which Shuichi has just invited him to hang out in the gym and then immediately gone “oh but I’m tired” before they’ve even done anything, it does just come across like he’s being lazy and flaky and doesn’t actually want to exercise, in which case why even come here if you’re only going to complain?

Somewhat relevant to this is Kaito’s stock dialogue when a hangout has the worst possible outcome, which the above hangout is one example of.

[Worst outcome]

Kaito:  “C’mon, man… Don’t go forgetting a sidekick’s responsibilities. I’m heading back…”

He expected his sidekick to know better than to change his mind and complain for no reason like this! A sidekick doesn’t have nearly as many responsibilities as the hero does, but Kaito does expect them to understand some of the most frequent advice he gives and be making at least an effort to follow it. To be his sidekick, they’ve got to be trying to change.

There are literally only four hangouts that have a “worst” outcome for Kaito, so it’s really not often at all that Kaito gives this response that implies that he’s disappointed in Shuichi like this. One of the others is the one from the manliness section where Shuichi wanted to go back inside as soon as they’d gone to the courtyard, which is a similar thing of changing his mind and complaining about the decision he literally just made – the kind of thing that Kaito already expected his sidekick to know better than to do.

(Another of the worst outcomes was Shuichi suggesting a horror movie – that one’s not at all Shuichi’s fault and has nothing to do with Kaito’s principles, but I can understand Kaito getting upset enough about it that he somewhat forgets himself in his reaction to it. The fourth one is one that’s coming up later.) 

Heroes and sidekicks

My favourite category! Time for some hangouts that hint at Kaito’s issues about heroes and sidekicks, either in a general sense or specifically in regards to his relationship with Shuichi.

First, though, Kaito’s response when a hangout has only a bad-but-not-worst outcome is relevant to this topic as well. As I mentioned, the worst outcome is very rare – most of the time, if he doesn’t have a good time, he’ll just say this:

[Bad outcome]

Kaito:  “Are you tired or something? If you’re not feeling well, just rest. My sidekick’s fatigue is my fatigue. I’m… gonna head back first.”

Obviously, it’s not that the hangout made Kaito feel bad or anything. It’s just that apparently Shuichi looks tired, and Kaito’s looking out for his sidekick by suggesting he should go back and rest! And then it’s totally just a coincidence that Kaito heads back first.

(“I’ve projected my own fatigue onto you in order to hide the fact that I’m the one feeling tired” sure is one way for the phrase “my sidekick’s fatigue is my fatigue” to technically be true.)

On some level this could be Kaito trying to hide the fact that Shuichi showed him a bad time so as to not make Shuichi feel guilty for being a bad host – after all, it’s only very rarely that he gives the worst-outcome dialogue that makes it seem like Shuichi did anything wrong. I feel like if that was the only issue, though, Kaito would be more open about it and just say something like “I didn’t have a great time, but hey, it’s not your fault, don’t worry about it, I’m still up for hanging out with you again”. But that would still be Kaito all but admitting that something actually made him feel down at all. Which is obviously not a thing that ever happens to Kaito, right?

[A/V Room]

-      Watch an action movie

Kaito:  “Action movies are fun cuz you don’t have to think too hard to enjoy them.”

…Because they tend to just have the heroes winning by saving the day in cool ways and being uncomplicatedly awesome?

It is such a delightfully relevant detail that Kaito prefers his fiction simple. If he appreciated more nuanced fiction, if his favourite kinds of stories were instead the ones where the hero’s character is more of a focus and you watch him go through hardships and struggle and grow and still manage to be a hero in the end anyway, then things in canon would have been very, very different.

Kaito:  “And there’s a bunch of ‘em that use the universe as their stage!”

Of course, this is an even better reason to like action movies: because SPACE.

(The writers could so easily have had this hangout be nothing but Kaito taking the excuse to talk about space movies, and nothing would have seemed amiss. But they put that first comment he made in there too. I love Kaito’s writers so much.)

Kaito:  “Alright! I’m gonna tell you all about my favorites! You ready to take notes!?”

And then… they don’t even watch any space action movies, it just turns into Kaito excitedly telling Shuichi all about his favourite ones. What a dork.

(At least, if Shuichi really did take notes, he can use that list when they’re living a normal life on the outside and he suggests a space movie marathon with Kaito on the 31st of October for no particular reason.)

[Library]

-      “Let’s read manga

Kaito:  “Adventure manga are the best! They’ve got so much passion in them!”

Heh, of course Kaito’s favourite genre of manga would be that.

Kaito:  “You should read all the famous adventure manga, Shuichi! Since we’re pals, it’d be great to read through some together.”

And then it’s cute that he wants to bring Shuichi into this thing he’s interested in, too! Shuichi does like novels, so while maybe he doesn’t usually read much manga, he should still be able to enjoy them! It makes me happy to think of them doing regular kinda-nerdy friend things together like this. Kaito even referred to them as “pals” and not “hero and sidekick”, which is very rare for him!

(I’m imagining, as they read through one of Kaito’s favourite manga, that Shuichi with his more nuanced appreciation of fiction comments that the hero isn’t very interesting because he keeps winning too easily without much effort. And Kaito is internally all “???????? He seems like a perfectly good hero to me??? Why does Shuichi think he’s supposed to be struggling?”)

[Dining Hall]

-      “Let’s cook something”

Kaito:  “Oh? You can cook, Shuichi? That means I can cook too! My sidekick’s skills are my skills, and my skills are my sidekick’s skills!”

Uhhhh Kaito that’s not how this works. “Your X is my X, my X is your X” definitely does not apply to this. Does that also mean that Shuichi can speak fluent English and Russian and pilot a spaceship?

Being happy that your friend can cook because then you can enjoy his food whenever he feels up to making something is one thing, but this is not quite how you express that, you dork.

(Ask him to teach you, Kaito! It’d be a fun thing to learn, just like how to build a crossbow!)

[Dining Hall]

-      “Let’s drink something”

Kaito:  “H-How did you know I was thirsty? Insight like that is just what I’d expect from the Ultimate Detective.”

Really? Because insight about the way someone’s feeling is really more the kind of thing that one would expect from you, Kaito.

Kaito:  “Or maybe… it was your sidekick powers that tipped you off! If that’s the case, then I’m proud to have such a great sidekick!”

What does “sidekick powers” even mean? …Perhaps it’s Kaito-speak for Shuichi being such a great friend that he can pick up on his friend’s needs. But even if that’s what he means, Kaito has to word it in a way that’s about Shuichi being his sidekick, because he very rarely actually refers to Shuichi as his “friend”.

…The third and by far most likely option, of course, is that it’s pure dumb luck and Shuichi just happened to want a drink himself without realising Kaito did too. But Kaito has to go and make this about the sidekick thing and use it as an excuse to shower praise onto Shuichi like the encouraging hero he is. He’s such a dork.

[Gym]

-      “I’ll be the referee”

Kaito:  “Huh? If you’re the referee, does that mean I’ll just be exercising by myself?”

Saying you’ll be the referee is probably supposed to be interpreted as the lazy way out of having to do any exercise yourself. But somehow Kaito doesn’t take it that way and admonish Shuichi for not wanting to train.

Kaito:  “Haha! So the sidekick wants to see the hero’s full potential? Then why didn’t you say so!? I’ll show you everything I got!”

Because he takes it this way instead. Obviously Shuichi wants to see how awesome the hero is! Being the most awesome so that he can set an example and inspire his sidekicks to try and reach his heights is exactly what a hero is supposed to do!

I love the “why didn’t you say so?”, implying that this really is not at all why Shuichi suggested this, yet Kaito is automatically assuming it is because that’s definitely how heroes and sidekicks work.

[Dining Hall]

-      “Let’s have some tea”

Kaito:  “Yeah, let’s grab some tea and have a heart-to-heart.”

Yes, this is totally going to be a two-directional outpouring of emotions and issues here.

Kaito:  “Don’t you keep any secrets from me! Sidekicks and heroes shouldn’t have secrets between them, y’know?”

Oh, Kaito, you wonderful hypocrite.

It is a little surprising that he’s so adamant that Shuichi shouldn’t be keeping anything at all from him, since he advocated during trial 3 that people are always going to have some secrets and that doesn’t mean they’re keeping them out of malice. But I suppose since Shuichi is his sidekick, the whole point is that Shuichi is supposed to trust him with anything and everything, and if there was something Shuichi wasn’t willing to talk to him about, it’d mean Kaito’s not being a good enough hero.

And obviously, as the hero, Kaito definitely also trusts Shuichi with everything that’s going on in his head, right? Definitely.

[Library]

-      “I want to scream really loud!”

Kaito:  “Huh? That’s not like you, Shuichi. You’re not the type to be rude like that. You don’t gotta force yourself, y’know?”

Pfft, look at Kaito pointing out for us that this is one of the out-of-character options for Shuichi. It’s kind of a shame that he doesn’t take this further like he does for some others that we’re about to see.

[Dining Hall]

-      “Let’s try fasting”

Kaito:  “What!? If you do that, you’ll die for sure!”

…I feel like this might be an odd translation thing, because fasting is obviously not something that kills people. Kaito is open to other cultures enough that he should perfectly well know this.

Kaito:  “Do you have a fever? Don’t push yourself, alright?”

Yeah, if you’re sick, you shouldn’t push yourself, Kaito.

(…It’s not clear whether or not Kaito actually has the virus in this AU, because that would depend on whether Team Danganronpa changed their minds about doing the killing game before or after infecting him with it. But even if he does, his symptoms wouldn’t quite get far enough along for him to realise he’s dying within the ten days this takes place. And since he’s going to get out of here in ten days, that’s plenty of time to get himself to a hospital once he’s outside, so he’d be fine.)

Kaito:  “If you’re not feeling well, it’s because of my poor management.”

It is very Kaito that he turns this into assuming something must be wrong if Shuichi is inexplicably suggesting something like this, and so he starts worrying about him. It’s also very painfully Kaito that he’s blaming himself for it – he considers himself thoroughly responsible for his sidekicks’ wellbeing, and so if something’s wrong, it must be his fault somehow for not being a good enough hero, right?

[Gym]

-      “Let’s burn this place to the ground”

Another “what the hell, Shuichi?” option. But this one Kaito takes quite seriously.

Kaito:  “What? Hey, c’mon, that’s not you, man. What’s wrong?”

Which is to say, he immediately takes it as a sign that something wrong with Shuichi, because Kaito is good and always concerned about his sidekick’s wellbeing. If Shuichi actually did ever suggest this, it probably would be because he’s very upset about something.

Kaito:  “If something’s wrong, all you gotta do is talk to me about it. If it’s something you won’t talk to me about, then there’s nothing I can do…”

And I love that this then turns into Kaito being really worried that there might be a problem that Shuichi won’t talk to him about, which would mean he’d be powerless to fix it. He can’t bear the idea of not being able to help, especially not when it’s his sidekick, whom he’s always supposed to be able to help.

(It’s almost like someone not talking about their issues and therefore being impossible to help is precisely the problem with you, Kaito! But of course that’s not an analogous problem, Kaito’s the hero so he’s not supposed to need help, what are you talking about.)

Unfortunately, since this is a “what the hell, Shuichi” option, and since Shuichi gets no further lines in these, there’s not really anything that’s actually wrong with him and so we can’t further explore this idea of Kaito feeling like he’s unable to help his sidekick. It’s just a fun look at how the possibility of being powerless like that is something he’s really scared of.

(The wiki says this option is a worst outcome, which would be an extra sign of just how awful Kaito feels about this… but the wiki is wrong and this is actually only a bad outcome. The worst outcome dialogue, about Shuichi forgetting “a sidekick’s responsibilities”, could sort of work here – one of his sidekick’s responsibilities is to tell him whenever something’s wrong, isn’t it? But on the other hand, this hangout lingers on the note of Kaito feeling helpless to support Shuichi, which is not a state of mind in which he would want to blame Shuichi for anything. Meanwhile, the “you’re totally the one feeling tired, right, and there’s nothing at all wrong with me” bad-outcome dialogue is perfect for this situation. So maybe this is why this is nominally only a “bad” outcome even though it would definitely be making Kaito feel more awful than any of the “worst” ones do. I am totally not overthinking this.)

[Courtyard]

-      “I want to get outside as soon as I can”

Kaito:  “Well, that’s obvious. What’s really on your mind, man? If there’s something you’re worried about, just talk to me.”

Here’s some more Kaito delightfully deciding that Shuichi must clearly have a different problem to this that’s what he really wants to talk about. Perhaps the reason he decides that is because the problem of getting out of here isn’t something Kaito can actually help with other than being positive about it, so he wants to turn the conversation onto something he can help with.

Kaito:  “Your worry is my worry! My worry is your worry!”

Hee. He only says this once in canon, but I love that it’s here again. It is still so delightfully hypocritical.

Kaito:  “If I can ease your worries, mine will be eased too!”

This is extremely true and accurate, though. A lot more literally so than it would be for most friends who support each other, because almost all of Kaito’s own worries revolve around whether he’s able to help Shuichi with his. The best way for Kaito to feel better really is for him to know that Shuichi is okay and that he helped Shuichi be okay. The counterpoint to this, of course, is that if Kaito feels like he can’t ease Shuichi’s worries, then his own will only get worse.

In fact, this basically proves that when Kaito says “My worry is your worry,” he really is just thinking of it as another way of wording “Your worry is my worry”. He’s saying that what he worries about the most is how to help with whatever’s bothering Shuichi. That line is not and never was Kaito trying to actually claim that he’d be happy to share if he had problems of his own.

And even when Kaito does have worries entirely of his own, like when he’s dying in canon, the feeling of being able to support Shuichi means so much to him that it at least manages to distract him from his own worries and therefore sort of ease them in a sense. Though what that really ends up doing is making Kaito increasingly convinced that his own worries are insignificant next to Shuichi’s, which is incredibly not healthy and part of the reason he died.

Being stuck here

And finally, to finish off this post, a few of the hangouts actually reference the vague semblance of a “story” we’ve got going on by mentioning the fact that they’re trapped in here.

[Gym]

-      “Let’s renovate the place”

Kaito:  “What, you wanna make this place more comfortable or something? What if you start liking it here? Weren’t we gonna work together and escape this academy?”

It’s neat how Kaito makes this about escaping and warns Shuichi not to get too attached to this place.

I guess by “work together” to escape, given the context, Kaito’s specifically talking about how they’re working towards escaping by hanging out and becoming close enough friends with each other? (let’s keep pretending Monokuma mentioned platonic relationships at all, shush)

[Courtyard]

-      “I’ve gotten used to being here”

Kaito:  “Yeah, me too. But that doesn’t change the fact that I wanna escape!”

Despite the previous one that had Kaito asserting it’d be bad for Shuichi to get used to being here, in this one he’s willing to acknowledge that he’s done that too, even though he doesn’t like it.

Kaito:  “Life is short! I don’t have time to waste loafing around here.”

did you know Kaito’s parents died

Kaito:  “Don’t get complacent! If you start to enjoy a place like this, then you’ll never find new horizons!”

Here’s more of Kaito just having a generally Good outlook on life. People shouldn’t be telling themselves they’re okay with a situation that isn’t what they really want (just like Maki was doing before she met him), because then they’ll get stuck in that rut and never be able to get themselves out of it! And so, even though he is finding himself getting used to this place, Kaito’s determined not to let that stop him from wanting to move on and not look back once they get out of here.

[Courtyard]

-      “What a great view…”

Kaito:  “Really? I don’t think so. I mean, I’m the guy who’s gonna fly off into the universe. I can’t be content with a view like this. I gotta see bigger and better things!”

I’m going to assume this is meant as basically an extension of the idea that Kaito doesn’t want them to get used to being stuck here and not try to escape; the view from the Academy isn’t anything particularly special, after all. Because it’d be sad if Kaito wasn’t able to let himself enjoy some of the prettier views on Earth just because they’re not space. You can still enjoy a thing even if you know there’s an even better thing out there! Kaito is definitely the kind of person who should be able to understand that. There’s nothing unnecessary in this world!

(but also have I mentioned how very important it is that the rocket had a window)

[Courtyard]

-      “Staying here forever wouldn’t be so bad”

Kaito:  “Huh!? What the hell are you talking about!? No way we’re staying here forever! Even if you are my sidekick, I won’t let you off the hook for saying that!”

This one reads to me less like Kaito’s trying to encourage Shuichi to be less defeatist and more like Kaito is angry on his own behalf. It’s almost as if Shuichi is trying to tell him to give up on getting out of here. Hey, Kaito, what’s so great about space anyway? Maybe you should just never go there after all.

(This is the last of the rare absolute worst outcomes. Kaito does not approve of having this idea suggested to him, and his sidekick should obviously have known better than to try and make him be okay with giving up like this.)

And while you might think Kaito is so optimistic that the thought of staying here forever would never have even occurred to him, it is a thought that’s been plaguing him, even though he’d never admit it out loud. More on that next time when we reach the main event here.