#i also want the practical make up from the silent film cause it still amazes me

[no-mercy-bby]

Okay, I'll say it. I want a movie adaptation of the Phantom of the Opera book.

I want Evan Peters as the phantom of the opera/Erik, Grace Van Dien as Christine, and you know I want Joseph Quinn as Raoul.

[bright-molina]

Babylon - Everything I Didn’t Say (part 2)

synopsis: As the months go by you find that not everything is always easy. Bobby continues trying to make it big and you continue working on Luke’s song. Time starts getting away from both of you until one day everything changes more than you thought possible.

word count: 5.3k

pairing: Luke Patterson x reader

warnings: a little more of reader and Bobby working through the grieving process, mentions of a car accident

a/n: I’m so late but this is for @jatpx5sos​​ Week Day Four: Sad Song! The song I used was Babylon which is like, a vibe, but also the lyrics get me. Part two of the Everything I Didn’t Say Series and we’re definitely picking up now.

Also disclaimer, I know absolutely nothing about law so keep that in mind

part one

The songbook kept its place in your bag but it felt less heavy now. 

Every time you opened the book it got a little easier. Soon enough you were finishing your list and you could feel the spark that had nearly disappeared growing stronger once again. 

Getting back into music helped. At first it was just listening as Bobby messed around on his guitar when you finally dared to go back into the garage with him. It was one of those times that you’d stumbled across a shoebox filled with pictures and notes, much like the one you had in your room. 

“I forgot we kept those in here,” Bobby had spoken softly as he looked through all the pictures with you. 

“I didn’t know you guys had these.” You smiled as you flipped through polaroids and photo booth sheets and negative film strips. “Honestly didn’t think you were picture people.” 

“We weren’t,” It was then that Bobby recalled one memory in particular. “Alex showed up for rehearsal once with some pictures he’d gotten developed for you. Said you liked them cause they were reminders of memories that made you happy for when you needed them. After that we just kinda started collecting them.”

“I -” You paused as you thought back, now being able to recall dozens of little moments you didn’t think twice of at the time. “I never knew.” 

Bobby looked up from the picture he’d been looking at before walking over and handing it to you. It was one of all five of you the morning before a gig they’d gotten. 

“Keep it,” His voice came out soft and you were a little surprised but he quickly moved on after reassuring you that it was okay. “Let me show you something I’ve been working on.”

When the coffee place you and Bobby frequented started hosting open mics you were the one to suggest he sign up. When he finally decided to, you were always at the very front alongside Rose. And when she started performing with her new band you were just as eager to support her.

The two of you had gotten considerably closer over the last few months and she was the only one that knew you were working on the song Luke had started. She’d been beside you when you first tried and it had very quickly and very easily grown into talking and the occasional songwriting session you realized you had missed.

You were the first one she gave tickets to when Rose and the Petal Pushers got a gig at a particularly popular club. It was the day of the show as you were standing in line that you finally gathered the courage to tell Bobby. What you didn’t know was that he had news of his own.

“Guess what I’ve been doing”

“I need to tell you something”

The amusement laced with a bit of nerves was more obvious than ever. In both of you. Bobby was the first one to work through it, though, as he tried to put off telling you what he’d been about to say. “You first.”

“You know,” For just a moment you hesitated, thinking of the songbook you’d left behind for the first time since receiving it. “You know that song you said Luke was writing? I’ve been trying to finish it.”

For a moment Bobby didn’t say anything and you weren’t quite sure what was going through his head. Your worry only lasted for a second before he practically beamed at you.

“That’s amazing Y/N,” There was nothing but pride on his face as he spoke his next words. “Luke would love that you’re doing this again.”

“He really would.”

And for the first time in six months, right there outside a concert venue, you thought about Luke and Reggie and Alex and didn’t immediately feel a little broken inside. The cracks were starting to heal and though you knew it wouldn’t always be this easy, it was a start.

“Tell me your news now.” You were the one who grinned then as you took a couple steps forward in line. When you stopped to look at Bobby, though, you saw a look you hadn’t seen in a while. His hands were shoved deep in his pockets and he was staring at the ground beneath his feet with concentration twisted on his face.

“I, uh,” He just barely managed to look up at you and you knew then something was bothering him. “Some guy called me after that open mic thing at the coffee place the other day. Said they were interested and now I have a meeting with some producer in a couple days.”

“Bobby that’s great!” You smiled right away but he didn’t seem to notice your excitement for him.

“Yeah, I’m not gonna go.”

The two of you took a couple more steps forward and you pulled out the tickets Rose had given you, taking a second to compose your own thoughts. Finally you asked, “Why not?”

“I don’t,” His stare once again returned to the floor. “I don’t want to do this alone. I wanted to do this with you and Alex and Reggie and Luke but they aren’t here and I just -”

You could see him spiraling quickly and so you reached for him gently, just as he had done for you dozens of times over the last few months. Bobby turned towards you then and found only the most reassuring look in your eyes. He was reminded then that no matter what thoughts filled his head he could tell you absolutely anything.

“I don’t think I can do this without them.”

“Of course you can,” You paused only to hand the person at the door your tickets, stopping just inside the door to make sure he actually heard the words you were saying. “You think those boys would let you bail out on this opportunity? They’d want you to do this more than anyone. You still have me and I’m telling you you’ve got this. Now what is it you always told each other when one of you got like this.”

Bobby laughed as the phrase echoed clearly in his head and for a second he was reminded of the last time he’d heard it. His smile softened a bit but it still remained as he repeated the words. “Own your awesomeness.”

“Exactly,” You nodded firmly, oblivious to the memory that was playing in his head. “You’re going to that meeting even if it means I have to force you there myself and you’re going to crush it.”

*

Three days later Bobby met you at the coffee shop that had become a safe haven for the two of you. You were sitting at the table right by the windows as always with his usual tea already waiting for him. It took no time at all for him to start telling you everything.

“Most of it sounds pretty okay.”

You knew right away there was something missing to the story, his eyes had moved to train on the table. “But?”

“They asked about experience and I told them about Sunset Curve,” He stopped bouncing his leg just long enough to take a long drink from the mug in his hands before resuming the action. “They want me to change my name.”

“I -” You frowned as you leaned forward on the table, not too sure if you’d heard the right thing. “What?”

“Apparently your dad did too good a job of keeping our names out of all the papers after -” You knew exactly what Bobby meant. Neither of you had even known any reporters were looking for you until you’d been cornered a few days after the accident. “Anyway they said something stupid about not wanting my name connected to the whole thing.”

“So they want you to change it in order to separate yourself?” You watched as he silently nodded. The only acknowledgement he gave of the proposition he’d been given. “What do you think about it?”

“I don’t know,” Bobby gave a heavy sigh before throwing back the rest of his tea. The cup clattered against the table and he leaned forward, thoughts racing back and forth in his mind. “I don’t want to separate myself from it. It happened and it's a part of me and it always will be. But changing my name doesn’t take that away, you know?”

You glanced at him and found him deep in his own thoughts. “Yeah. I guess not.”

When Bobby looked at you he knew. You’d always been able to read him easily but he could do the same thing now. Your fingers twisted the ring covered in butterflies that Rose had given you for your birthday back and forth and he knew. You didn’t know what to say and he wasn’t too sure how to tell you that was okay.

So instead he opted for changing the focus of the conversation. “Tell me how the song’s coming along.”

And it worked. Immediately you grinned and pulled out the songbook to show him your progress. It wasn’t long before you launched into an explanation of what you wanted to do, anything and everything else being pushed away to the back of your mind.

Only a couple of weeks later you were getting ready for his first show alongside Rose. The three of you had slept on the various couches in your living room the night before and while Bobby had left earlier, you and Rose were taking your time.

It was then, though, that you realized Bobby had taken your only means of transportation. When you brought it up Rose only smiled. “Someone’s picking us up.”

“Who’s someone?” You couldn’t help the smirk that flashed on your face, as you scribbled more notes in the margins of the songbook. “Like a date?”

“Just someone,” Rose looked over at you then only to find you with a pencil in your hands. It was the same position she found you in more often than not. “You know there’s a few people I know who I think you’d like.”

That comment made you look up and as hard as you tried, you couldn’t help the image of Luke that appeared in your head. You thought of him. Of flashes of moments. Hands held, smiles that were a bit too soft, looks that lasted a little too long. A collection of almosts that never turned into more for fear of ruining what you’d now lost either way.

You shook your head much too easily for her liking. “I’m okay.”

“Y/N, I’m telling you this because I love you,” Rose moved to sit beside you and gently set her hand on top of the songbook you barely ever let out of your sight. “Eventually you’ll finish the song and when that happens you don’t want to jump head first into something you aren’t ready for. You’re doing so good and I’m proud of you. There’s a lot more out there, though, and if you want I can help ease you into it.”

You knew she was right. She always was.

“I’ll let you know when I’m ready,” You promised her and she accepted the answer. Then you pointed to the page under her hands. One that was clean, sharp white pages as opposed to the well loved ones she was used to seeing. “If it makes you feel better this is a new one I’m working on for Bobby.”

“Can I see?” Rose looked at you excitedly and waited until you nodded to start reading the words on the page.

It was as you watched a grin grow larger on her face while she read the lyrics that you smiled and reached for the camera you’d invested in after finding the pictures in Bobby’s garage. You stood and dragged her out of the room with you.

“Come on,” You took her into the backyard where the sun was shining high in the sky, both of you ignoring the chill that came with the winter months. You started fiddling with the buttons of the digital camera you’d only just figured out how to work.

Rose watched you play around with the buttons for a few moments before shaking her head in amusement. “When’d you get into photography?”

“I’m not,” You moved to stand next to where she was and beamed at her. “I just like keeping the memories.”

You weren’t surprised at all when only a month and a half later Bobby was giving you tickets to a show he’d booked at the Troubadour.

“Bobby this is amazing,” You grinned as you hugged him, the envelope clutched tightly in your hands. The two of you were once again at the coffee shop but this time you’d moved towards the back.

The last time the two of you had been there a few days before several people had recognized him, cutting into your conversation more than once. This time you’d agreed to take precautions.

“Trevor.”

“What?”

“There’s lots of people around,” Bobby watched as your face fell and he quickly shook his head, twisting a bit in his chair to face you completely. “Just when we’re out like this. I’m still -”

But he didn’t continue. Nevertheless you knew what he meant so instead you gave a short, awkward laugh. “That’s gonna take some getting used to.”

There was a pause for a moment and you had no clue what to say. This was completely new territory and you’d be lying if you said the whole thing didn’t throw you off a bit. A sudden shrill beeping noise cut through the silence and Bobby pulled out his phone, frowning when he saw the number.

Instead of answering, though, he quickly pressed the red button and gave you his full attention. “Tell me about what you’re working on.”

He still knew you better than anyone and watched as you eagerly pulled out the almost pristine songbook. The one filled with new projects the two of you had started together. He shook his head though and nodded towards your bag. “Forget those. Show me what you’ve been writing.”

You knew exactly what he meant. The song Luke had started. The very one he knew you’d been struggling with recently. Your smile turned softer then and you pulled out the other songbook. “Alright.”

The two of you sat together for a while longer. It was different writing with him than it was writing with Rose. You bounced ideas off of him and he told you exactly what he thought, good or bad. He helped you think of how the melody could go and what might work better. It was simple and easy and an experience you had missed over the last few weeks.

That only made it a bit harder when someone came in and made a beeline for your table. Bobby introduced him to you as his manager and soon enough he was apologizing as he was dragged away with a promise to call you later.

Once the car he’d gotten into pulled away you let your smile fall as a sigh escaped you. Then you caught sight of the envelope on the table and you slowly reached for it. Inside was three tickets and you really couldn’t help the way your frown deepened as you read the words printed in big bold letters. Trevor Wilson: Live at the Troubadour.

*

“I have something for you.”

Two months after playing the Troubadour, Bobby showed up at your house at almost midnight looking wide awake and excited. You could count the number of times you’d seen him since then on one hand. You could understand the fact that he was busy well enough but that didn’t make it any easier. Especially knowing what was coming up soon.

“Hello to you too,” You sighed with a tired look in your eyes. His interruption was more than welcome, tearing your attention away from the exams you had been studying for. Where Bobby had jumped right into making music full time, you had been ambushed with work when you started school again a semester late.

“Close your eyes.”

“What?”

“Close your eyes,” Bobby repeated his own words and waited until you did so. You could feel him reach for one of your hands, open it, and then place something in your palm. “Alright you can look now.”

You were met with a cd case that had a picture of him on the cover. Almost immediately you knew what it was and you gasped excitedly as you read the title and opened the case. “No.”

“Yes. That’s the very first copy of the EP,” Bobby laughed when you ran past him and towards the cd player, fumbling as you raced to put it on. “I wanted you to have it.”

Moments after you pressed play the sound of an electric guitar filled the room and your delight bubbled over. Soon you and Bobby were both jumping all around the room as the two of you screamed along to every song at the top of your lungs.

“You missed my favorite part though,” He announced a while later as he opened the cd case and removed the little booklet. You set down your camera, having insisted on taking a picture of him with it, and moved towards him, watching as he flipped to the first page.

Underneath the album art and lyrics was a list of credits. Bobby was quick to point out one line in particular.

Written by: Y/N Y/L/N and Trevor Wilson

“We did this together,” He said, watching as you stared at the words with wide eyes. 

He could very easily recall the dozens of conversations you two of you had had over the last several months. There had been more than a few moments he hadn’t been sure he could get through. Moments that he had powered through thanks to you. “I’m sorry I haven’t been the best at keeping in touch lately. That’s on me.”

“Don’t worry about it.” But as soon as the words left your mouth he was hugging you tightly.

“You didn’t have to stay,” He held you a little tighter as the realization hit him. This feeling, the one of having you by his side, was familiar. Welcoming in a way he hadn’t felt in a while. It reminded him of everything he had had before. Everything the two of you had lost. “But you did.”

You weren’t too sure where the sudden flood of emotion came from but you weren’t opposed to it. It was something you had missed. And so you held on a little tighter in an effort to silently show it. “I always will.”

Things were a little bit better after that. Sometimes it was just the two of you while other times Rose joined you. There were even a few occasions when she brought Ray along and the four of you just talked about anything that came to mind. That only lasted a couple weeks though.

A month after the release of the EP, Bobby was pulled away for a show and the visits became calls. Eventually even the calls became more sporadic. Show after show happened and while you tried to go to some you simply couldn’t find it in yourself to go to all of them.

Especially considering it was July again already.

Four days, you thought to yourself as you stared at the words on the pages of the now well worn journal. There were still a few bits and pieces that weren’t quite done yet. Nothing you had tried lately was working and you hadn’t been able to finish it. Not alone.

“You can take a break from it, you know.” Rose told you after watching you drop your head to the table.

“It distracts me.” Your voice came out muffled and when you turned to lay your head more comfortably in your arms she noticed the way you seemed off. And she knew exactly why.

“It makes you feel better,” Rose waited until you nodded in confirmation before disappearing from the room, returning moments later with an acoustic guitar she held out to you. “Do you know how to play it?”

“I, uh,” You slowly sat up in your seat again as you stared at the guitar. “Yeah. A little.”

For a second, though, you sat unnaturally still. The timing of the moment pulled a very particular memory to the front of your mind. When you reached for the guitar your hand was shaky and you gulped, recalling the event you were thinking of.

“Luke taught me,” You adjusted the guitar and you were almost certain you could still feel his hands moving yours to the right place on the instrument. “They - they all did. They taught me a little of everything for when I wanted to add music to the songs and they -”

As hard as you tried you couldn’t push away the stinging behind your eyes. You did, however, manage to keep the tears in. “For when they weren’t there.”

“Play then,” Rose smiled gently as she sat back down beside you. “Maybe it’ll help.”

You weren’t too sure if she meant with the song or with the overwhelming amount of feelings and memories that had overtaken you as the one year mark of the Orpheum show quickly approached. You listened to her though and soon enough you were strumming a few chords a bit warily.

The hesitation didn’t last long. It was easy to get lost in the music after only a couple minutes. You didn’t even notice when Rose snuck your camera out of your bag and took a picture of you working on it.

Only an hour later you were excitedly asking her if you could use her house phone. The number you dialed was Bobby’s, eager to tell him your news. You had finally finished the song. Yours and Luke’s last song together.

There was no answer though. Instead the voicemail message rang loud in your ear. Hey! It’s Trevor Wilson. Can’t come to the phone right now but leave a message.

Despite not being surprised to hear the name on the message it still threw you off a bit. With a quiet sigh you hung up the phone without leaving a message and turned back to where Rose was sitting. Your smile returned then and you walked back over feeling strangely at ease.

She looked up when you sat back down next to her and you paused for only a moment before asking, “Can I play it for you?”

Rose nodded and dropped the pen in her hands while pushing the sheet music away from her. “Of course.”

And so you played the song for the very first time. You were able to get through the part you’d written with little difficulty. It wasn’t until you reached the part of the song that Luke had written that you hesitated. The crack in your voice was evidence enough of the memories playing in your head. You focused instead on the words he’d written to you, pushing back the tears in your eyes.

The sheer level of emotion in your voice brought tears to Rose’s eyes. You were reliving one of the worst moments of your life, sure, but she was also positive then that you were going to be okay. This was the last step you’d needed to take and she was more than happy to be there with you in that moment.

Rose was quick to take the guitar out of your hands as soon as the last chord died out. You didn’t even realize the tears had fallen until she pulled you in for a hug. She held you close until she was sure your silent cries had stopped, waiting until your breathing evened and the tears were nothing but stains on your cheeks.

Finally she pulled back to look at you and nodded. “It’s ready.”

Three days later you finally saw Bobby again. It was near closing but the two of you sat in the coffee shop like always. Near the back away from people again, but still. He looked a little tired but for the most part he was still him. You had to remind yourself of that when he told you he would be busy the next day.

“I can’t do this alone, Bo -” You shut your eyes, shook your head, and gave a heavy sigh. “Trevor.”

“I know and I’m sorry,” Bobby - Trevor - whatever it was he insisted on going by leaned forward on the table, catching your attention again. “I tried to get out of this show, I really did.”

“Tomorrow’s gonna be a year since -”

“I know.” Bobby could tell what you meant even when you cut yourself off.

Frankly that had been the very reason he hadn’t minded being kept busy the last few weeks. But he’d been so caught up in shows and promotions and everything else that he’d forgotten he wasn’t the only one remembering that night a year ago.

“The second I get some time off I promise I will be right by your side.” He waited until you were looking at him again to continue. “We’ll go see them and you can play him your song. Is that okay?”

“Yeah,” It took you a few moments until you agreed but you did. The knowledge that Bobby was still right there did in fact comfort you a bit. “Yeah. Sounds good.”

*

It took four weeks and a lot of rescheduling of Trevor’s schedule before finally the opportunity came up. To his credit, though, he did in fact start dragging you places with him if you were up for it. Especially the recording studio where the two of you and Rose had just spent hours in a few nights before messing around.

Finally one year and a month after the night at the Orpheum you were meeting Bobby to go see your boys together. You’d planned to meet him at the studio building though since the only thing he couldn’t get out of was a meeting they’d scheduled last minute.

You were on your way to the building, your old backpack on one shoulder, guitar case on the other, and a textbook in your hands. Every time you stopped you shifted them, trying to get more comfortable carrying everything.

You weren’t used to carrying that many things. Not at all. That was evidenced by the way you shifted everything on your person every single time you stopped at a crosswalk. 

Your backpack was falling off one shoulder, filled with pictures and lyrics you’d been collecting. The guitar case on your other shoulder at the very least stayed in place. The textbook in your hands you’d just picked up was quickly growing much too heavy when paired with everything else.

Meanwhile Bobby sat just a few blocks away in an office that was much too pristine for his liking. There wasn’t a single thing out of place and it did nothing to calm the anxiety quickly filling him up. 

The bouncing of his shoes against the linoleum floor was the only sound echoing loudly through the room. His focus was on his own reflection staring back at him from the glass table under his hands. He wasn’t too sure how he’d landed himself there in the first place.

Finally, he worked up the courage to speak, “No.”

“Trevor, these are good songs,” The executive he’d already forgotten the name of spoke in a tone that didn’t leave much room for arguing. That wouldn’t stop him though. “Perfect for your first album.”

“No. I’m not using them.”

“You will.”

“I’m not going to!” These were the people that held his career in their hands but Bobby couldn’t bring himself to care. He only cared about one thing. “They’re not mine. They belong to a friend that I lost and I am not doing that to him!”

One cold, emotionless smile paired with a chuckle void of any sort of empathy told him there was no taking anything back now. “You don’t really have a choice in the matter.”

You weren’t expecting your phone to ring so when you stopped in the crosswalk to dig it out of your bag you missed the walk light completely. People all around you grumbled as you shifted all your things again until finally you looked at the little screen to see Bobby’s number.

“I know, I’m running late. I’m almost there, B -” You were suddenly reminded of the people along with the building across the street. “Trevor.”

“They want me to use Luke’s songs for the album.” For a moment all Bobby heard was the sound of traffic on the other end as he paced the empty hallway. Finally, to his relief, he heard your voice on the other end of the phone held tightly to his ear.

“What are you talking about?”

“The songs Sunset Curve never recorded.” Bobby stopped pacing then and leaned against the wall, thinking of what the two of you were supposed to be doing instead. “I gave you the songbook back when you left it here after you and Rose visited but they saw it before then. Word spreads fast and they’re saying it’s in my contract.”

“Bobby, what are you talking about? What contract?” You didn’t even realize he hadn’t corrected you.

“The one that signed me to the label. There’s a section on writing and credits in the fine print and if I don’t take credit for the songs Luke wrote then they will. Y/N, I can’t let them do that. He worked hard on those. They don’t care though. As far as their concerned he doesn’t need the credit since -”

“Since he’s dead.” Somehow the words sounded harsher coming out of your mouth. Bobby only nodded despite the fact that you couldn’t see him.

“There’s no choice then, is there?” You shook your head as you adjusted the guitar once more, getting ready to actually walk across the street.

Your anger blinded you. You knew better than anyone else the effort that went into writing all those songs. Late nights drifting into early mornings until some semblance of a song filled every page in countless journals.

Even now you could still remember the spark in Luke’s eyes whenever he finally managed to work something out. The eager bounce in his step every time he declared he had something to show you. The ease with which the words just flowed out of him. You were never happier than in those moments you spent writing beside him.

“Bobby I have an idea.”

“What?”

“I wrote some of those songs with Luke, right?” You glanced down at the textbook in your hands and for the first time since you’d been forced to go into a field you had no interest in by your parents you smiled. Introduction to Entertainment and Intellectual Property Law.

“Yeah. What are you saying?” Bobby was already piecing it together though, already feeling slightly more at ease than he had been before.

“I’m saying we put my name and his together.” Out of the corner of your eye you saw the walk sign flash on and you started crossing the street. You opened the book with your free hand, oblivious to anything and everything else. “Partial credit is better than nothing right?”

“Yeah. Yeah you’re right.”

“I always am, aren’t I?” You grinned as you stared down at the table of contents, already knowing exactly where to look. “I’m right down the street just give me a couple minutes to -”

Everything happened too fast.

All you were focused on was the situation you’d found yourself in and how to fix it. You didn’t notice the commotion of people behind you and in front of you scrambling to get out of the way. You didn’t see the car skidding past their red light, screeching and honking from every direction left behind in their wake. You didn’t hear Bobby shouting for you over the phone from where it had fallen.

All you saw surrounding you when you opened your eyes was a dark room with no one else in it.

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Surprise Animal Trivia [USWNT x Reader]

requested by anon: I don't know if requests are still open but if they are can you do one where the reader just doesn't really talk a lot but they find out one way to have a conversation is to talk about animals since she loves them. Sorry if it doesn't make sense

A/N: this was super fun to write, and i actually learned some things about dolphins and discovered what an okapi is, so thanks for this request!

“Hey, kiddo! It’s good to see you again.” Kelley smirks, as she wraps her arm around your shoulder, ruffling your hair.

“You saw me two days ago.” You deadpan, rolling your eyes at your club teammate. At only 18 years old, you had been on the national team for the past two years. You were a naturally quiet, timid person, but you became even more shy when at camps, not only because you were surrounded by many of your role models but also because you were scared to mess up as the youngest on the team.

“You ready for camp?” She asks, as the two of you make your way to the team meeting.

You only nod in response. Kelley chuckles, opening the door for you.

Upon entering, you receive many cheers and greetings.

“It’s my favorite youngster!” Ashlyn calls out.

“(Y/N), come sit by me.” Pinoe waves you over.

“(Y/N/N)!” Sonny shouts.

You sheepishly duck your head and make your way to the front of the room. Although you were one of the best midfielders in the country, you always took team meetings and film sessions very seriously because you wanted to prove to the coaches that you deserved to be here.

As the meeting starts, you listen intently and keep to yourself, whereas a couple of your teammates were whispering and cracking a couple of jokes.

“Alright, well I’m excited to get started.” Vlatko claps his hands together. “I’ll see you all out on the pitch.”

—————

On the field, you were a completely different animal. Although you weren’t the most vocal or the most celebratory, you tore up the field, scoring goals and making your own teammates look like fools.

“Damn, kid. You did not come to play.” Kelley huffs, after you beat her and slot the ball in the lower corner past Ashlyn.

You look down, a small smirk on your face, as Vlatko blows the whistle, ending training for the day.

“Thank goodness you were on my team today.” Alex smiles.

“Jeez, (Y/N), you couldn’t take it a little easier on me.” Ash teases, pulling her gloves off.

“Uh, thanks guys.” You mumble, rubbing the back of your neck.

“(Y/N/N)! You were incredible! You’re definitely gonna play this weekend.” Mal jumps on your back, kissing your cheek.

“Thanks, Mal.” You blush.

“Alright you two, let’s get going.” Christen laughs, moving you along towards the bus.

You slide into your window seat, Kelley following right after you. As your scrolling through your phone, you can feel the defender staring at you with a large grin across her face.

“What?” You turn to look at the other woman.

“What’s going on with you and Mal?” Kelley smirks.

“Nothing!” You exclaim.

“You sure? Not even a little crush.”

“I’m sure.” You insist, your cheeks flushing.

“Mkay.” The freckled woman hums and turns across the aisle to talk to Alex and Allie.

You put your headphones on, contently listening to music for the rest of the bus ride.

—————

The team had decided to go out to dinner in downtown LA that evening, Christen and Alex knowing the best restaurants in the city. On the way there, you stuck with the youngsters not really saying much. Noticing your quietness, Mal drifts over to you.

“Hey.” She wraps her arm around your waist. “How are you doing?”

“Good.” You lean your head on her shoulder.

Mal furrows her eyebrows at your short response. “Are you nervous?” She asks, genuinely curious.

“Mhm. I’m just a little shy.”

Mal softens at your confession. “You’re cute.” She cheekily grins.

You blush, giving her a small smile. “Thanks.”

Mal nods, beaming, before she returns to the crazy story Emily was telling.

—————

As the team waits for their food, the table is filled with boisterous and energetic conversation.

“(Y/N)!” Ashlyn call from across the table. “Did Kelley really beat both Becky and Chris in Monopoly?”

“Huh?” You tilt your head, confused by the randomness of the question.

“We’re trying to settle a debate here. So did she?” Megan explains.

“No.” You bluntly confirm, resulting in a burst of laughters and howls from the veteran side of the table.

“So, (Y/N), how are you settling in with the Royals?” Tobin asks.

“I like Utah.” You nod.

The older forward chuckles. “You still a little shy?”

You bashfully shake your head.

“Tobes, you know (Y/N). She’s our shy little baby.” Kelley coos, pinching your cheek.

“Stop, Kel.” You mumble, swatting her hand away.

Once the food arrives, you immediately dig in. The team continues exchanging stories and cracking jokes, all while shoving food into their mouths. After the meal, as you’re all waiting for the check, Kelley pulls out her phone.

“Janice, did you see this post?” She shows the forward a photo of a dolphin with their nose against a pregnant woman’s stomach.

“Ha! Al, you should’ve done that.” Allie snorts.

“What is that even for?” Alex rolls her eyes at her best friends.

“The dolphin can detect the baby inside her stomach because of their echolocation. It basically acts like an ultrasound.” You explain, overhearing their conversation.

Everyone stops and turns to stare at you, surprised that you’d spoken more than a couple of words.

“How do you know that?” Megan asks.

“Uhh.” You shrink under the gaze of your teammates. “I just know a lot animals. Like did you know that dolphins don’t even chew their food? Or that they have two stomachs? Or that they only sleep with half of their brain?” You vibrate with excited energy.

The rest of the women smile at you, amused by your mini rant.

“I didn’t know you liked animals so much.” Mal pipes from next to you.

“Yeah. I mean, obviously, there are so many different kinds of animals, so there’s just so much to learn.”

“So what’s your favorite animal?” Christen asks.

“Hmm.” You purse your lips, considering your options. “Probably the Okapi.”

“What the hell is an Okapi?” Emily calls out.

“It’s the only living relative to the giraffe, but it looks like a cross between a deer and a zebra.” You elaborate, as you search up a picture to show the table.

“Aw, it’s kinda cute.” Rose coos.

You nod in agreement. “What’s really cool is that they have scene glands on the bottom of their hooves to mark its territory!” You wave your hands enthusiastically.

“Ha, I guess we should just bring up animals if we wanna hear you talk.” Kelley teases.

“Uh, I guess. I mean I could go on about animals.” You scratch the back of your neck and chuckle nervously. “And I’m sorry I don’t really talk a lot. I’m just really shy and wanna impress you guys.” You mumble out a confession, looking down at your fidgeting hands.

“Kid, you impress us all the time.” Tobin assures.

“Seriously, (Y/N). You’re one of the best midfielders in the world right now, AND you’re not even twenty years old yet!” Alex exclaims.

The rest of the woman add their own comments, boosting your confidence

Mal smiles softly and takes your hand into hers, giving you a comforting squeeze. “You are an amazing person and player, (Y/N), and we love you just the way you are, so if you don’t like talking a lot, we’ll still love you.”

You feel your cheeks redden and your heart burst. “Thanks you guys. I really do see you guys as a second family, having practically grown up with all of you.”

“AWWWWW! We see you as family too!” Kelley cries, placing a wet kiss onto your cheek.

“OK, that’s enough, Kel.” You scrunch your nose, playfully wiping your cheek.

“But you’re my little kiddo, and I’m your team mom.” The defender pouts.

“Hey! I thought I was her team mom.” Christen interjects.

“Both of you are my team moms.” You roll your eyes at the two women. “And Becky.” You look at the blonde woman, acknowledging her with a small smile. Beck nods, a silent thank you.

“(Y/N/N), you ever been to the LA Zoo?” Alex asks.

You shake your head. “I’ve actually never been to a zoo before.”

Many of the women’s jaws drop, especially since you’d just revealed your immense love for animals.

“You’ve never been to a zoo?” Ali blurts.

“No.” You murmur. “My parents were always working when I was growing up, so we never really did any of that kind of stuff.”

“Well, we have the day off tomorrow.” Alex sings. “Wanna go?”

“Yes!” An earsplitting grin breaks out across your face, as you nod eagerly. “Can the whole team come?” You sheepishly request.

“Duh!” Kelley responds, causing you to smile and the rest of the table to cheer.

You can’t help but shake with excitement, bouncing in your seat. You were looking forward to the trip to the zoo tomorrow and couldn’t wait not only to learn about the animals you were so passionate about but also spend time with the women you loved so much.

[sapphire374]

Soy Sol: Chapter 14 (Weeks Away)

Wattpad Link

Ch.1 / Ch.2 / Ch.3 / Ch.4 / Ch.5 / Ch.6 / Ch.7 / Ch.8 / Ch.9 / Ch.10 / Ch.11 / Ch.12 / Ch.13 / Ch.15 / Ch.16 / Ch.17

Luna enters the hospital room. “Simón, I came as fast as I can. What happened?” Luna looks over Simón and Ámbar worriedly. “No nothing, just an athlete’s injury,” Simón chuckles. “Glad to see you still have your good humor,” Luna chuckles too. “He sprained his ankle which means he won’t be able to participate in the competition,” Ámbar confesses. “No no, I’m all good. I’m perfectly fine, I can and will participate in that competition-" “No you won’t. The doctor said you can’t do any extraneous activities including roller skating.” Ámbar cuts Simón off. He sighs with dismay.

“Well at least I have good news. Our team qualified for the competition!” Luna mentions. They all quietly cheer with happy hands since they’re at a hospital and want Simón to rest. “Well honey, I’mma let you get some rest okay,” Ámbar gets up from her chair and kisses Simón before heading out the door with Luna.

“I can’t believe this happened. Simón must have been in huge pain. I feel bad not being there,” Luna admits. “Don’t feel bad, he’ll recover soon. I know Simón. You were going through a lot too, it made sense for you to leave. Sometimes when we’re stressed, we need peace and some alone time. We sadly have another issue at our hands though. We have no one to replace Simon,” Ámbar states.

“Do you have anyone in mind?” Luna asks. “Nope. No one that I know of at school know how to skate. I think it’s also too late to hold auditions for a replacement.”

Luna scratches her head and keeps thinking. “Is there anyone you have in your contacts from working with other teams in the past that you know that can help us?” Luna suggests. Ámbar takes out her phone and scrolls through her contacts. A familiar name pops up. “I think I know someone who can help,” Ámbar glares towards Luna. She presses the call button and waits for a response.

Jam and Roller

Jazmin enters the locker room and sees a note taped on to her locker. “Meet me at Fountain Park, I would love to get to know those sparkly eyes, from your secret admirer.” Jazmín starts jumping up and down. Delfi enters and sees her best friend ecstatic. “Wow I’m shocked you would be this happy after what just happened to Simón,” Delfi remarked. “What? No! I’m not happy for that! I’m happy for this!” Jazmín hands Delfi the note. Delfi’s eyes grow large. “Wow Jazmin, this is awesome. A little sketchy but intriguing.” Jazmín squeals, “I know right, it’s my two favorite things! I’m so excited and so curious too! I wonder who it could be?” Delfi nods. “Yes, I’m very happy for you but I think it’s best I go with you just in case the guy is a creep. I don’t want you to go alone. Better yet, me and Pedro can accompany you. Once we see it’s someone safe, we’ll leave you be,” Delfi advises. “Well, if you say so,” Jazmin responds.

Simón goes one step at a time into the cafeteria with crutches. The doctor let him get released early since Simón wasn’t feeling much pain and begged the doctor. Nico and Pedro help Simón sit down and get readjusted. “I feel awful,” Simón exclaims. “What? But you said you weren’t feeling much pain to the doctor?” Luna asks. “No, I don’t mean that. I meant that I feel awful that you guys now don’t have another member for the team,” Simón moped. “Don’t worry about that. The main priority is you having a fast recovery. We’ll look for a replacement and everything will be okay,” Luna tries to comfort Simón. Luna then heads over to Ámbar and whispers, “so how did the phone call go?”

“She didn’t pick up, so I just left her a message. I guess we’ll just have to wait and see for her response,” Ámbar says. Juliana enters the room. “Even though Simón has gotten hurt, which I hope you feel better soon dear, that doesn’t mean we should all stop training. The competition is coming close, and we need to seriously prepare. While Ámbar and Luna look for a replacement, we shall keep moving forward with our training.” The whole gang head to the rink and start practicing.

Nico stays with Simón and serve all the guests their food and drinks. Simón calls Nico over. “Look I don’t want to sit here and do nothing to help the gang out. I want to do something, but it feels like I’m powerless not getting to skate with them,” Simón admits.

“You’re not powerless, and we can still help them without skating.” Simón looks confused, “like what?” Nico waits thinking. “I have an idea. You know how the Roller Band is back. Well how about we perform the song in the back while they skate in the competition. Something fresh while keeping it like old times like when we performed ‘I’ve Got a Feeling.’ You don’t have to stand, you can sit down on a chair while still playing your guitar and singing,” Nico suggests.

“Amigo, eso es padrisimo! That is an incredible idea! There’s just one thing… Pedro won’t be able to perform with us since he’ll be skating with the gang,” Simón claimed. “It’s okay cause we can have Yam sing with us, I don’t think she’s skating in the team.” Simón starts cheering, getting really excited. “I’ll start practicing the chords!”

Wedding Dress Fitting

Monica, Luna, Nina, Delfi, and Jazmín sit huddled around. Jim and Yam had to decline their invitation due to them helping out Nico fill in shifts and rehearse the Roller Band performance for the competition. Ámbar enters with the first dress. “I hope Simón recovers in time for the wedding. I wouldn’t want to see him hurt on our wedding day,” Ámbar sighs. “Well since you aren’t going to have your wedding till a few months after the competition, I think he will get back to walking by then,” Monica assumes.

Ámbar turns and show the gang her dress. “Wow Ámbar you look like a princess!” Luna exclaims stunned. Monica and the gang agrees. “It looks nice, but I don’t like how it’s so plain,” Ámbar says. She goes with the seamstress to the racks of dresses.

While everyone waits for Ámbar to enter with a different dress, Jazmín breaks the silence. “So, since everyone is silent, I have something to say. I have a secret admirer and I’m going to meet him today!” Jazmín reveals. Everyone cheers for Jazmín. “Yes, and Pedro and I are planning to accompany her just in case the dude isn’t sketchy, but we’re all very happy for her,” Delfi states. “I hope he’s charming, funny, kind, but also cute and maybe even a little spicy,” Jazmín says. “Oh, don’t we all,” the seamstress chimes in. “Jazmín, I hope when you say spicy you mean he likes spicy food,” Nina nervously comments. The whole gang begins to laugh. Ámbar tries all sorts of designs and looks till she finds her favorite one that she feels matches her aesthetic. “What about this one?” Ámbar asks on her fourteenth dress fitting.

“Ámbar you look like you’re glowing. You are a fairy now, wow.” Luna states. Ámbar giggles while the rest agree with Luna. “78% of women say that when it comes to choosing the perfect wedding dress, always stick with your gut,” Nina consoled. “So I guess this is the dress. I love it!” Ámbar announces. Jazmín takes out her tablet and begins filming. “This will look amazing on my Ja Jazmin channel!” “No Jazmin!” everyone yelled. “Jazmin you can’t post this since the groom and everyone else are not supposed to know how my dress looks yet. I want it to be a surprise on the day of the wedding,” Ámbar advised Jazmin. “Oh sorry. I didn’t know. Geez you guys didn’t have to be so harsh.”

Jim and Yam’s Apartment

Ramiro hurriedly knocks on the door. Yam opens. “Look Yam, I don’t know if you’ll agree or not but please listen to me. You must take that deal, it’s a once in a lifetime opportunity. No this doesn’t mean we should break up either because I truly think we can make this long-distance thing work okay. I’ll visit you every so often and you’ll do the same for me. We can make this work, I promise. I have waited for too long for us to just break up before this has even started,” Ramiro declares to Yam.

“Ramiro this is the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me. I find it actually pretty funny how I was going to suggest for us to do long-distance too because I don’t want to leave you either,” Yam tears up. Ramiro presses his lips against Yam and holds her tight. They capture this moment to remember it.

Jim appears behind Yam. “So…. This is awkward cause I’m in my PJs,” Jim protests. They start laughing when they see her wearing her unicorn PJs, she laughs with them too.

*Gif by @ambarxsmith*

Jam and Roller

Delfi and Pedro enter the cafeteria. Luna and Nina rush over to them. “So, who’s Jazmín’s secret admirer? If you don’t mind me asking,” Luna questions. “So apparently it’s someone she already knew at the Fundom. He was part of one of the behind the scenes guys and even worked with Pixie a lot. He also viewed Jazmin on the side and had a big crush on her but didn’t know how to say it. He seems sweet and makes Jazmín happy, which is the important thing,” Delfi responds. “Awwww,” Luna and Nina say in unison.

“So have you guys figured out who will be the replacement for the team?” Nico asks. “Sadly no, from what I know of,” Luna responds. “I can’t believe this happened to Simón and so sudden too. The good thing though is that the Roller Band, sadly without me since I have to skate, get to sing at the competition,” Pedro chimes in. “Speaking of which, did Yam say yes to getting to sing with you guys?”

“Oh yes, she was thrilled. She thought the idea was creative and is excited to getting to sing with us again,” Nico responded. Ámbar walks over to where the gang is at the cafeteria. “So, any news on that contact?” Luna asks. “Sadly no, I think we’re going to have to find someone else,” Ámbar reveals.

The door’s bell chimes out loud when a familiar face walks into the place. “Hey guys! So, a little a birdy told me that the Jam and Losers are in desperate need of help. Well, you guys have come to the right person,” Emilia exclaims.

“Wow Jazmín will be upset knowing she may just have missed the news of the year,” Delfi admittedly surprised.

[mae-gi-writes]

Behind The Crown (Part Two) | Kevin Moon Imagine (The Boyz)

Prince Kevin Moon x Second-In-Command Reader. A Royal Kingdom AU.

Genre: fluff, royal kingdom au, angst

Words: 3K

Part One | Part Two

-------

The sun is shining a little too bright the next day as Kevin peels his eyelids open. For a minute, he allows himself to mull over the peaceful chirping of birds outside, the gentle lull of waves in the distance crashing against the cliff's edge. 

And then, last night rushes back to him like a tidal wave.

He'd held her and kissed her, kissed her till she was nothing but a gasping mess against his lips, until her legs had melted into jelly and his hands had found a way around her waist to hold her up and pressed against his torso. 

"Kevin," she had breathed, and that had only incited him to dip his head down and kiss her once more, addicted to the taste of her. She was pure art that he held against himself and Kevin was certain there was nothing more that he wanted if she was in his arms like this forever. 

"Wait--" she'd turned her head then, causing his mouth to kiss her jaw instead, "this--this isn't right. We shouldn't--" 

"Shouldn't what?" He murmured breathlessly as his lips trailed up her cheekbone, "I'm prince of Meridia, I can do whatever I want." 

Hands on his chest, she pushed him slightly so that she could look into his eyes, and that had only caused him to gaze down in naked adoration. Desire swam in the pits of his stomach, rushed through his veins like a drug that left him light-headed.  

"Don't," her voice was rough, "don't look at me like that."

Kevin gazed at her. His lips tilted up in the tiniest of smiles.

"Run away with me," he answered.

"What?" She pulled away from him, "how is that going to solve anything?" 

"I've listened to my parents all my life, carried out my duties without protest, and I'm so sick and tired of people telling me what to do," he said as his tone hardened slightly, emotion clogging up the back of his throat, "this is my life, I want to be happy with someone I love, someone I care about."

He had always been so open with Y/N, vulnerable enough to let her into his deepest fears and allowed her to treat his wounds like an injured animal. But this, this felt different. A good kind of different. The chemistry buzzing between their bodies was something he couldn't deny, and when he searched her face for any indication, he found the answer he was looking for. 

"What about your parents?" She asked softly, "what about everything that you'd been working so hard for?" 

He hesitated slightly before responding, "I...I don't know." 

They had parted ways without a full conclusion to their discussion, but not without the prince tugging her over once more to kiss her goodnight until she had blushed straight to her toes, a spluttering mess against him as he watched her stumble her way back to her chambers.

Kevin lets out a dreamy sigh at the thought. He knows what he has to do. He also knows that the end result isn't going to be pretty. His parents have so much faith in his leadership, have trained him and built him to be the next king ruling over the land of Meridia. But what good does leadership bring, if he can’t lead with the one he wants at his side? 

“Kevin?” The queen gives him a quizzical look as she peers out of the royal chambers, having heard his knock, “what are you doing up so bright and early?” 

“I need to talk to you,” he says, and there must be something in his tone that makes her features grow concerned, before she pulls the door open a little wider for him to step through.

Inside, the King is busy having breakfast in bed, face lighting up instantly at his son’s appearance, “Kevin! What a wonderful surprise! You’re usually up by noon, at the very least.” 

“Father,” the prince bows, a sign of respect and courtesy, with a hand crossed over his heart. He straightens up and continues, “there’s something I’d like to talk to you about.” 

“Good timing, because there’s something I’d like to give you.” 

Now is really not the time to be bearing gifts, is what Kevin’s mind is urging him to say. But he finds that the words die halfway up his throat when his father pulls out a black box tied with a royal blue bow, the color of Meridia’s flag itself, from his cupboard. 

“That’s all yours,” the King extends it out to him, and he has no choice but to take it despite the multitudes of protests screaming through his subconscious. 

“What--” Kevin swallows thickly, “what is it?” 

The box feels heavy and warm in his arms, a little too warm. Or maybe it’s just him, the uncomfortable prickle at the back of his neck urging him to tell the truth. 

“It’s a wedding gift,” the King motions towards the said box, “open it. Go on.” 

Wordlessly, the prince slides the bow off before gently peeling back the top cover. A gasp slips out of his mouth when he comes face to face with the crown-- or more precisely, the King’s crown. 

His head shoots back up, eyes wide with alarm, “you--I can’t--I can’t take that.” “Sure you can,” the King says jovially, “you’re going to be King of Meridia soon. People will look up to you, respect you for that.” 

“But--Father--” Kevin takes a deep breath, “there’s something I want to tell you--” 

“And everyone has been waiting for this moment. Just wait till they see you! They’re going to be so amazed--” “But father I--” 

“I can already imagine your crowning. It’s going to be a beautiful spectacle. People from all over the country are coming to see you--” 

“Darling, dear,” the Queen’s voice suddenly cut halfway through her husband’s speech to halt his ramblings. She gazed at Kevin, prompting him to speak up with a soft open smile on her face. 

And that smile breaks Kevin’s heart, for he knows that once the words were said, it would change their world -- their relationship -- forever. Would rock that safe harbour and turn it into a storm. 

So Kevin only dips his head down and bit his lip. His eyes flickered up to his parents, saw them waiting with mirroring grins, and only let out a shaky exhale. 

“It’s nothing,” he mumbles out and averts his gaze instead, “nothing at all.” 

---------------

The moment Kevin opens the door to let her in, Y/N knows that something is off.

“What?” she asks the moment she steps foot into his bedroom. If he thinks that she doesn’t notice the way his shoulders bunch up or the fact that he’s wound so tight she can practically see all the tension holding his body together, then he’s a bigger idiot that she thinks him to be. 

Her fingers are still thrumming with the aftermath of yesterday’s events. But she shakes her head, attempting to dissuade her thoughts from straying in places where they are not meant to go. 

“Kevin,” she says after a long bout of silence, not really enjoying the fact that 1) he hasn’t looked at her once since she got here and 2) he hasn’t said anything when usually, Kevin can’t shut himself up. When she speaks up next, there is a tinge of concern breaking through her soprano, “what is it? What’s wrong?” 

A pause. Then, he turns around like a culprit, eyes cast onto the ground as though he’s done something shameful, something worth being punished for. 

Air catches in the back of her throat, “tell me.” 

“I--” biting down onto his lower lip and shaking his head, he bristles, “I--I’m sorry.” 

Y/N frowns. Sorry? For what? For kissing her yesterday? For declaring the fact that maybe there’s something more than friendship between them? For having made a mistake he now regrets? 

“Look, I tried talking to my father about--” he gestures between himself and her, “about us, about what happened. And how I feel.” 

Y/N stays quiet. Her stomach clenches. 

“I can’t--” Kevin’s alto his shaky, practically trembling with emotion while he shakes his head, “I can’t tell them, Y/N. It--It would break their heart.” 

She’s expecting it. So she doesn’t know why it feels like someone has just gutted her, grabbed her by the insides and pulled out the entire contents of her stomach to leave her hanging and filled with a hole. 

Swallowing thickly and allowing the words to digest, Y/N just nods.

“Please,” Kevin murmurs roughly, “please say something.” 

What does he want her to say exactly? It’s not like she has any choice in the matter. She opens her mouth, closes it when there’s nothing she finds worth saying. Taking a deep, shaky breath and forcing her expression to be wiped blank, she finally murmurs out: 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, your highness.” 

“Y/N, please don’t do this--” 

But she’s already swivelling around and walking out of his room before her legs give out and before her heart cracks in two, feeling like a dead weight she’s carrying lodged inside her chest. She can still hear Kevin’s protests behind her, shouting at her to come back, but it’s not until she hears his running footsteps on the marble floor that she takes off into a sprint, running blindly and as far away as possible as he can possibly be, until she stumbles out through the stables and keels over to catch her breath. 

Tears brim through her eyes like a film blurring the ground before her, and as a soft sob falls from her lips, her head bows in a desperate attempt to regain some of her sanity. She hadn’t known this would be so hard, hadn’t known that there is such pain gripping her heart with icy fingertips before practically wrenching it out of her chest. It leaves her bare, it leaves her vulnerable, and she can’t help but curl her arms over her middle, a pathetic move of self-defense as her knees fall to the ground. 

It hurts. The tears fall silently, a steady trail cascading down her cheeks. It hurts like she’s never ever been hurt before. She loves him, always did. And yesterday night had proved that he’d returned her feelings.

And now? Now it’s even worse, because she knows there’s something great that she’s lost. 

But she should’ve seen this coming. It’s her fault, after all, for believing that maybe her ending would’ve been bathed in happiness. She guesses that it is the price to pay for having fallen in love with a prince, of all people. 

She doesn’t know how much time passes until she can finally lift herself to her feet. Taking another shaky breath and allowing her chest to rattle with the aftermath of the pain, she swivels around and strides back into the castle.

--------------

“Has anyone seen Y/N?” 

The King looks up from his daily scroll of news transcribed by his attendants, a list of duties to be completed folded in his lap, and catches sight of Kevin striding into the hallway reeking with agitation. 

“Don’t think I saw her around,” the King glances up at his attendant, who only shrugs in response, “maybe she’s training. She usually is whenever she’s off duty.” 

“She wasn’t present at all yesterday, she should’ve been around,” Kevin all but stomps his foot. He feels like a child who hasn’t gotten what he’s wanted, but he doesn’t care. Not right now. The only thing he wants to do is try to talk it out with Y/N. His heart is messy enough as it is, torn between his parents’ expectations and the girl whom he cares for deeply. It doesn’t help matters that he hasn’t been able to see nor hide or hair of Y/N from her escapade yesterday morning. 

“Your highness!” 

Kevin’s head quickly whips back to see one of the soldiers running in with a paper in hand. He hands it over, breathless, as the prince’s eyes scan over its contents. 

“What?” his jaw falls slack in surprise. He turns to the soldier, who automatically bows, “where did you get this?” 

This isn’t happening, his mind chants, no no no, she promised, she promised--

“She gave it to me herself, your highness,” the soldier stuttered with averted eyes, “said that she didn’t want to work for the Kingdom of Meridia anymore, then handed me her resignation--” 

“You’re lying!” Kevin blurts out in a yell, heart skipping in panic. 

“I--I swear I’m not. She--She even signed it.” 

Indeed, as the prince scans to the bottom, he notices her initials. Anger blossoms through his stomach and without hesitation, he crumples the paper into a ball and throws it to the ground, “where is she?!” he hollered, “I want her brought here, this instant! Now!” 

“B--But your majesty, she’s gone back. It’s too late now, she’s already heading to--” 

But Kevin isn’t listening, already walking away with rapid footsteps and all too wrapped up in his own world of desperate pain that he almost misses his father’s words booming from behind him, “Kevin! Where are you going?!” 

That causes him to halt by the doorway, one hand on the smooth Victorian column. He glances back through his curly bangs, sets his gaze upon his father’s for a full minute. 

And proceeds to dash out before anyone can stop him. 

-----------

“It’s so nice to have you back Y/N,” Jacob bustles around her like a mother hen as he sets the hearty potato and beef stew freshly made from this morning. Y/N forces her lips into a smile but only manages to pull up a grimace, which her brother doesn’t fail to notice as he sits down opposite her. 

Jacob’s place had been the only solution to her after she’d calmed down enough to stop beating herself up about how she isn’t a royal and will never be. Of course, he’d welcomed her with open arms and a bright smile, so bright that it had almost wiped out any negative feelings rolling through her. Almost.

However, as much as he loves seeing his sister present and in the flesh -- they always joked that one day she’ll come back to him with one less leg since she’s always been too brave for her own good -- it is clear from her countenance that there’s something more bothering her, other than her pathetic excuse that she apparently ‘missed’ him. 

Y/N’s life had always revolved around castle walls. She’s never really been homesick. 

“Tell me,” Jacob gazes at her now, eyes filled with understanding when hers decide to concentrate on the rice bowl before her. There are blue shadows imprinted underneath her eyes and though she has spent the entire day acting cheerful and somewhat carefree as she usually is, he hasn’t failed to notice the puffiness of her eyelids or how her face gets shadowed in sadness whenever she thinks he’s not paying attention. 

“Y/N,” Jacob prompts, chopsticks tapping his bowl to get her attention, “tell me. You don’t drop by for anything. So there must be something.”

Her lips pressed together. For a moment, only silence reigns. 

A soft exhale escapes her mouth, before she says in a shaky soprano, “I kissed the Prince.” 

“You what?!” Jacob’s eyes go as wide as saucers. He can’t stop himself from gawking at her. 

“I--” she blinks at the tears now threatening to consume her once more, “I kissed the Prince. I kissed Kevin. And I--I--” 

Her eyes fly up to lock on her brother’s own maroon orbs through her film of tears, “I love him,” she chokes. 

Silence reigns over the room as she waits, eyes lowered towards her plate, for her brother to berate her with facts and his judgment about how she could even do such a thing or even get involved in a situation that she knew would end up with complications. 

But Jacob doesn't say anything. She peeks up at him through her curtain of parted hair, surprised when all she finds is a kind of delicate sympathy glimmering across his face. 

"So did you just leave? Without telling him?" Jacob asks softly.

She nods, slightly guilty. It sounds bad when he puts it that way, so she says, "I resigned yesterday--"

Knock knock knock.

The two freeze up in their seats, ears perking up in alert at the intrusion. 

Then, a muffled voice echoes through the door, a voice that causes Y/N's eyes to snap up towards the nature of the sound.

"Excuse me? This is Prince Kevin, from Meridia. Sorry to disturb you. Uhm  I've heard that you are Y/N's brother. Is Y/N here?" 

She blinks, meets Jacob's eyes who are just as wide as hers. 

She wastes no time in diving under the table, much to her brother's surprised yelp. 

"What are you doing?!" He hisses, head swivelling from her crouched figure to Kevin's figure behind the door.

"What does it look like I'm doing?!" Y/N scowls, "I'm hiding!"

"Well, he's obviously asking for you--"

"If he asks, I'm not here. I never visited you."

"But--"

"Just go!"

Jacob lets out a heavy sigh, before he reluctantly slides off his stool and heads to open the door. 

"Hi," there is sweat glistening off the Prince's face when their eyes meet, his eyes already flying over Jacob's shoulder in search of his second in command, "have you seen--"

"She's not here," Jacob hurriedly interrupts.

"Please," Kevin's alto cracks slightly, "I just want to talk to her. Please."

“I told you she’s not here.” 

“I saw her horse. I know it’s hers, please. I know she’s here.” 

It’s useless, Y/N thinks to herself while squeezing her eyes shut, trying to stop her heart from running a thousand miles an hour at the tone of desperation clinging to Kevin’s alto and making her heart tug in all sorts of wrong directions. 

“Please,” Kevin murmurs. 

That does it, causing her to wrench her body out of the cramped table space before she storms over to him, anger slowly simmering in the pits of her stomach. 

How dare he show up here after telling her that he wasn’t going to sacrifice his reputation because of what he wanted in life? How dare does he show up here, unannounced, and expect that she’ll be okay with the whole ordeal. As if watching him dance around with someone else in his arms isn’t bad enough! 

“What?” She almost barks out from behind Jacob. The latter jumps back to let her march through, obviously not new to her temper tantrums, and Kevin stumbles back impulsively, flinching when he catches sight of her scowl. 

“Hey,” the prince of Meridia’s voice is soft. 

“What do you want Kevin?” Y/N doesn’t even try hiding her exasperation, knuckles clamped down so hard onto the doorway that she feels the wood chips biting into her fingers. 

He takes a moment too long to answer. 

“Why did you leave?” 

Y/N is too focused on trying to find a coherent answer to notice that Jacob has gently let himself out of the back door. 

“Why did you leave, Y/N?” Kevin repeats. 

“Did you expect me to stay?”

Guilt swims through his eyes, "you could’ve told me--”

“Told you what exactly? That I didn’t want to see you live your life with another woman after what happened between us? Told you that my heart hurts every time I hear the word ‘wedding’ and ‘princess Delia’?” 

She knows that each word sprouting from her mouth is a dagger aimed straight for his heart. But at that particular moment, she really doesn’t care whether he’s hurt or not. She wants to hurt him, wants him to feel the pain she feels.

For once, she wants him to know how it feels to be in her shoes.

Silence drags out between the two individuals, each staring at each other and Y/N practically rendered breathless from her small outburst. There’s so much going on in his face, so many emotions flittig through his eyes but she’d rather not see them. Instead, she clamps her gaze down onto his soaked-through white silk shirt and absentmindedly wonders why in the world would he wear one of his best attires to head to the village. 

Not that she cares. She doesn’t care. At all. She doesn’t care what happens to him, doesn’t care whether he gets married off or not. But she’s not going to stick around to tolerate it. She can’t. It’ll break her heart. 

A hand comes up to grasp her chin softly, “look at me, Y/N.”

Despite her mind sending out alarms of protest, her body reacts on its own and her eyes slowly drag upwards. What she sees in Kevin’s mahogany pools almost makes her gasp, for they are filled with such tenderness, a fragility mixed with pained guilt, that her chest tightens uncomfortably. 

“The wedding is called off.” 

She blinks. Frowns. Silence. 

Then: “what?” 

Kevin’s lips curl slightly upwards, “I told them to call off the wedding.” 

She can feel something lodged in the back of her throat, “What do--What do you mean?” she pauses, “I don’t...understand.”

"I don't want to marry Delia, I don't want to be King of Meridia if that means losing you Y/N," he tugs her close with his other hand wrapping around her waist then, so that she stumbles into his chest, "all these things, they're not worth it. Not if--" he takes a shaky breath, "not if you're not mine."

Her heart practically soars through her chest, his words totally throwing her off track and causing her jaw to fall open and gape at him as though he just grew a second pair of eyes. 

Kevin only chuckles and brushes his knuckles over her cheekbone, "please say something."

"I--What do you want me to say? What did your parents say? What--No, you can't resign Kevin. You can't do that--"

"My parents have nothing to do with whom I chose to spend the rest of my life with," he cuts her off with a determined glint in his eyes, "I told them that if I'm to rule over Meridia, then I get to choose who the hell I want to marry. And that's not Delia," their eyes lock onto each other, "it never was Delia."

It is relief that Y/N feels first, blossoming through her chest as hope lights up a fire within her. Blood rushes to her face, not knowing how to reply to his sudden confession when she hasn't even been expecting him in the first place. 

"So," Kevin exhales a breath, closes his eyes for a brief moment, before opening them again with newfound determination, "will you? Be mine?" 

"I--" her brain feels like scrambled eggs. The agreement is at the tip of her tongue, it's just right there. And yet she can't find the strength, nor the courage, to utter them out loud. 

Because she's scared. She's scared that this might change everything, because it will.

‘Are you sure about this?’ She murmurs.

He nods firmly, determination glinting in his eyes. 

Taking a deep breath and letting it seep through her teeth with her next exhale, Y/N finally dips her head down into a single nod. 

‘okay,’ her voice shakes with emotion, ‘okay.’ 

A sigh so loud and filled with relief shudders throughout Kevin’s entire body and he all but collapses against her. 

‘I won’t let anyone hurt you,’ his breath washes against her ear at his murmur, ‘I promise.’ 

And before she opens her mouth to say anything else, the prince of Meridia has already swooped in to catch her lips in a firm, passionate kiss. A kiss filled with all the promises he agreed to kiss, a kiss that rendered her weak at the knees and made her a gasping mess, hands slipping up his neck as the man tilted his head to kiss her a little deeper, a little longer. 

When they both part for air, Kevin lets out the softest of sighs while pressing his forehead against hers. 

“I’m no princess,” Y/N says through a choked up murmur, her eyes finding the warmth emanating from his own in shades of golden warm hues making it impossible for her not to melt right into his embrace.

“I know,” Kevin’s nose bumps against hers, “and that’s exactly why I love you.” 

[12yeahiminluvwu]

Calm

pairing - Rudy Pankow x Little Sister!Reader

summary- Requested by @deathcompass :) “hi! your writing is amazing :) i was wondering if you could write something with drew/rudy where his younger sister has a panic attack and he helps her calm down because she gets them a lot?”

word count- 1.9+ 

warning(s)- panic attack tw, anxiety tw, swearing (maybe? idk), kinda cliche… gives me 2016 wattpad vibes ngl, the ending sucks i’m so sorry! very loosely edited

series masterlist 

masterlist

Disclaimer: I’ve only ever had very mild panic attacks so I’m going to use my own experiences to write this, but I do understand that they can be very severe and I’m not in any way trying to romanticize anything at all. I love you, stay safe <3 

-------------------------

“Hey bug, you ready to come home?” You sighed, realizing that summer was ending and you would be having to go back to Alaska for school. It hadn’t snuck up on you, but some part of you had hoped that you’d get to stay with your brother forever. 

“I guess…” You mumbled back, not wanting to hurt your parents but also not wanting to go back. 

“You’re all set to fly out in a few days, we can’t wait to see you!” Your mom exclaimed. You could hear the excitement in her voice which only broke your heart even more. The familiar feeling began to bubble up in your chest, making it seem like you couldn’t breathe in all the way, like something was taking up space in your lungs preventing you from getting enough oxygen. This hadn’t happened all summer, not since you came to live with Rudy. It had been so long since you felt it, you almost forgot the feeling altogether. 

“Sweetie? You still there?” Your mom’s voice brought you out of your own head and back into the real world, where a few minutes of silence had passed. 

“Yeah, yeah I’m here. I’ll see you soon. Love you guys.” You quickly ended the conversation, wanting to get as far away from your phone as possible, as your mind assimilated it with the panic you were feeling. 

This time, you were able to keep yourself calm.

--

“Baby, do you really have to leave?” Your boyfriend asked, his arms sliding around your waist, leaving goosebumps in their wake. The feeling of his skin on yours always ignited a fire within you, one you didn’t want to put out. You leaving in a few days felt like a storm threatening to wash away the wildfire the two of you had created together. 

“Yeah… I have to go back to school, my brother is gonna be filming season two of his show in Charleston, I’d have no one to stay with…” You mumbled into his chest, soaking in his scent, aching to remember every piece of him. Part of you wanted to believe that a long-distance relationship with him would work but the rest of you knew that it wasn’t fair to either of you. 

“Go to school here, with us! You could stay with me!” One of your best friends chimed in. A spark of hope lit up in your stomach, maybe you could stay. But then, like clockwork, that same feeling from earlier began to slither its way through your body. Your mind raced to all the things you’d be leaving behind, all the friends you had back home that you hadn’t seen in months. 

But as your mind raced and you sat with your new friends, and boyfriend (something you never thought you’d get back home), you realized the people in this room meant more to you than the people back home, who were only still friends with you because they didn’t have anyone else to be friends with. That still didn’t keep the panic at bay, but once again, you were able to keep yourself calm. 

--------------

“Roo, I wanna talk to you about something…” You said, coming into his room that night. 

“What’s up kid?” He asked, watching you sit down next to him on his bed. The way you twiddled your thumbs and chewed on your lips told him you were nervous about something, his mind racing to find out what it could be. The energy in the room shifted, and it was like all the oxygen had been sucked out of the room. Taking a big gulp, you started trying to verbalize your thoughts, even though it felt like you couldn’t breathe. 

“So… I was thinking- maybe- I… I could stay here with my friends and go to school here. She said she’d- she’d talk to her mom and ask if it was ok. But like, I would- I would need your help talking to mom and dad because I don’t want to hurt their feelings, but I really- really don;t want to go back home…” You stumbled out, hoping that he would understand what you had just word vomited at him. Slowly, you began to feel the burn of tears coming to your eyes, and desperately you tried to hold them back. 

“You want to stay here? How come?” He asked. He sat up, coaxing you into his arms cause he knows it calms you down. You laid your head on his chest and kept trying to take deep breaths as he stroked your hair. 

“I feel more understood by the people I’ve met here than I do by anyone in that stupid little town…” You whispered, “I’ve gotten closer to them in 3 months than I did to anyone back home in 16 years, Rudy. I have no one... no one real anyway.” 

“So you want to stay here in LA?” He asked again and you nodded. The sound of his voice was distant, sounding miles away. You did your best to focus on your breathing but that focus was quickly slipping away as your breathing became more sporadic and uneven. It was as if something was sitting on your chest, preventing you from getting enough air. 

“I’ll talk to mom and dad and see what they say. Kiddo, I need you to focus on your breathing ok? Focus on taking a deep breath all the way in and breathing all the way out.” He continued to run his fingers through your hair as you gasped in deep breaths and let the tears fall down your face. Slowly, the room started opening back up and even though the tears still ran down your face and your hands shook like an earthquake, it got a little easier to breathe. 

“That’s it, just like that,” He cooed. You sighed at the sound of his voice, remembering when you used to get these all the times before Rudy left home. After he was gone, they picked up even more and your mom and dad just didn’t quite know how to ground you like Rudy did. He was always there to protect you, it was a kick in the gut when he left you. But here he was, calming you down.

-----------------------------

Rudy sat up in the living room, the next morning. You were still asleep, somewhat exhausted from last night's events. The phone rang and he took a deep breath, hoping for nothing more than to be able to get you what you want. 

“Hey Rudy! How have you been?” Your guys’ mom answered and he smiled, hearing the happiness in her voice. 

“Hey mom, is dad around?” He asked and heard shuffling on the other end. Suddenly his dad's voice sounded from the line and they got a little lost in simple conversation. Rudy then remembered exactly why he called them and got down to business. 

“So I wanna talk to you about Y/n…” He trailed off and your parents went a little quiet. He started to feel the sweat gather on his palms and gulped down the nervous lump in his throat, noticing the shift of energy in the call. 

“Is she ok? Did something happen to her?” Your dad spewed out, worried that something might have happened to his little girl, but he shook his head before remembering they couldn’t see him. 

“No no no she’s fine, but I know you guys are gonna be a little skeptical about what I’m going to tell you,” He sighed before continuing on, “ She wants to stay here for the school year…” 

The line went quiet. He could tell his parents were shocked, the fact that their daughter didn’t want to come home was a lot to process and they had no idea what the reasoning behind it was. 

“What do you mean? She doesn’t want to come home?” The woman gasped, feeling tears well up in her eyes.

“She’s ade some really awesome friends, people she’s closer to than anyone she is with at home. She’s already lined up a place to stay while I’m shooting. I think you’d really like them actually. It’s one of her best friends and her mom, they’re really nice! I think you guys should change Y/n’s ticket so that you guys can come down here…” He rushed out, hoping they understood him, but he was met with silence once again. 

“Uhm… We’re not making any promises, but we’ll come down there so we can talk about this as a family…” His dad said and he nodded with a smile, agreeing. 

----------------------

You woke up feeling the events from last night lingering in your shoulders and neck. 

It was a familiar ache that only ever happened after an attack, a muscle tightness that made it feel as though you’d been sleeping on concrete for the past week. Doing your best to roll out the soreness, you walked into the kitchen to see Rudy with a look on his face that you couldn’t read. 

“So… I talked to mom and dad, and they’re gonna come here so we can talk about you staying!” He smiled and you felt like a little bit of the weight you’d been feeling lifted. 

“When are they coming?” 

“They’ll be here tomorrow,” He said, coming over and hugging me tightly, “We’ll get you where you need to be kid, promise!” 

----------------------

The tension in the room was thick enough to cut with a knife. Your parents sat across from you and your brother, silently. You could tell they were deep in thought, but it didn’t help the shaking that began to take over your hands. 

All you wanted was for them to understand. They weren’t always great at that… 

“Mom, are you gonna say anything?” You finally asked, wincing when she let out a sign.

“Y/n, I just don’t like the idea of you living with someone you just met three months ago....” She said finally and your dad nodded along with her. 

“You don’t understand though. I’m closer to them than I am to anybody back home! I know her and I know that she cares about me, her mom cares about me! When I wasn’t here, I was there. I’m practically already a part of the family! She’s had me and Rudy over for dinner so many times I lost count. She’s hosted dinner parties for the cast because she wants to get to know the people close to Rudy and I because she cares! She’s like a second mom to me. And I love you guys, I really do. But I’m just not happy at home! It doesn’t feel like home anymore. This… This feels like home.” You stood up, pacing back and forth, your voice gradually raising to try and hold in the tears that threatened to fall. 

“Baby…” 

“Momma…” You whispered pleadingly, looking her in the eyes for the first time since she’d arrived and finally letting the tears fall. Rudy was next to you in seconds, pulling you into his arms, doing his best to keep you grounded so you didn’t fall off the edge.

The silence was filled by your sniffles and Rudy’s whispers into your ear. Your parents looked at each other with a knowing look in their eyes. It was obvious that they were not your home anymore, and no matter how much it broke their hearts they knew they had to let you go.

“Y/n, honey, we want to meet the family first, but we think you should stay. We want you to be happy bug, and if this is where you’re happy, then this is where you should be!” Your mom finally said, coming over and wrapping you and your brother in a tight hug. Your dad followed in suit and soon enough you started to feel yourself calm down.

[sunshineseung]

Sinner Part 2 // Felix

💌 Info: Stray Kids Felix x female!reader smut 💕 Includes: dom!reader x sub!felix, themes of religion, teasing, exhibitionism/fear of being caught, first time, loss of innocence, establishment of safeword, degradation and praise, oral/fingering (receiving), unprotected sex, riding, cum play, slight aftercare ✏️ Word Count: ~4.2k

Please read part one of this series first :) Thank you!

The rain was pouring in the pitch black outside, but the lights inside the church hall were bright as day. The only occupant of the church on this night was Lee Felix deep in prayer, oblivious to the storm outside. With hands folded and head bowed, he whispered his prayer through his lips, a slight echo of his words spreading through the otherwise empty room. 

Felix jolts up at the sound of the main entrance being opened and slammed shut quickly after. A feminine sigh can be heard, and Felix lets out a shy “hello” to the intruder of his private repentance time. 

“Oh, you’re here?” You say while entering the main hall, throwing your wet jacket over one of the pews. “I thought this place would have been empty.”

“What are you doing here?” Felix retorts immediately, slightly offended that of all people to walk in at this moment, it had to be you. 

“I should be asking you the same thing, little boy.” You shuffle the hair on his head, earning an annoyed grunt from him. “The bitch ass pastor’s making me clean the archives in the basement since I... caused some trouble earlier this week.”

“Caused some trouble? Is that all you have to say for yourself?” Felix was beyond offended at this point. If it wasn’t your name-calling of the pastor, it was your dismissal of your actions. “You and your group of friends painted sinful phrases on the side of the church!”

“It was all in good fun, damn. Chill out.” While, yes, spray painting God Loves Lesbians on the wall of the church was questionable, it was fun! And best of all, the pastor said he wouldn’t call authorities if you cleaned the basement. “It was worth it anyway. Did you see the look on his face? Priceless!” 

The boy was boiling with rage, but he held his anger back in fear of cursing or saying the Lord’s name in vain. Despite hating you, part of him wanted to save you. While not being the healthiest mindset, Felix felt like he could save anyone from sin, and he was going to try to save what he called the rodent of the congregation. 

“Now, if you don’t mind me asking, why are you here?” Your tone of voice edged on sarcasm, you having full knowledge of his nightly prayer. He had calmed down, remembering that he was in a place of the Lord. His face returned from red back to it’s normal hue, and he looked to you with gentle eyes.

“I was praying. I did some questionable things this week too.” His admission to sin took you aback. You didn’t expect everyone’s favorite boy to openly confide in you that he committed an act against his God, something you never thought he would do.

“What kind of questionable things?” Your interest was piqued, and his sudden bluntness was just what you wanted to see. What resides in the mind of Felix?

“I shouldn’t be telling you this.” He looks into his lap, a sudden wave of shyness clouding him. You sit next to him on the pew, patting his back to comfort him. Despite him being so critical of your actions, you did have a soft spot for the sweet boy. “I... pleasured myself.”

You almost burst out into laughter, but you had to suppress that for now, because the most holy person you knew just said he masturbated, and he felt bad about it. As someone who was not shy to doing that specific act among other ungodly things, to see someone repent for doing something totally natural in your eyes was otherworldly. 

“It’s okay, Felix. Sex is natural.” You attempted to comfort him, but you could tell by the deepness in his eyes that he still regretted what he did. Also, when you so casually said the word sex, he winced a bit since he hated the word so much. “You have nothing to be ashamed for. Everyone masturbates.” 

“You don’t understand!” The raise in his voice boomed through the desolate church hall, and you darted your look towards him in shock. “It wasn’t just that.” His voice got soft again, almost a whisper. You lean in to hear him. “I watched the most sinful videos. I thought about myself doing those horrid things. I feel filthy.”

“Lix, I understand completely. Do you think I haven’t done those exact name things?” You raise your eyebrow at him, and he timidly shakes his head. “You’re a young adult. This is normal. Don’t let it eat you up, okay?” 

“Okay.” His deep voice sent shivers down your spine, and it just hit you that you were basically giving him the birds and the bees talk. A comforting smile graces your face as you get up from your seat next to Felix. 

“I should go start cleaning the basement. Mind helping me?” You hold your hand out to him, offering some more time to spend with you. He reluctantly takes your hand, and you help him stand from the pew. You two silently make your way into the damp basement of your church. 

Dust, cobwebs, and the sent of mold cover the dreary basement as you and Felix step down. The conversation in the basement is much more lighthearted, but you can’t shake the image of Felix masturbating out of your head. You’ve never thought of the star child like that before, but his confession made you see him in a new light. He wasn’t above you. He was a teenager driven by sex and hormones like everyone else. 

Once the basement was tidy, books arranged on shelves and dust swept away, you exchanged phone numbers with the boy and headed on your merry way, but that was far from the last time you would hear from Felix.

Over the next two weeks, Felix would text you casually. It started as a nice, wholesome friendship: discussing classes, complaining about personal things, and sharing homework. No matter what the conversation topic was, your mind would wander to the more dark and depraved side of your persona. You wanted to pick his brain on a multitude of topics, but most of all: sex. Since confessing his scandal to you, you wanted to know if he did it again, what he’s into, or even if he’s thought about you.

One night, in a heightened state of mind, you text him a simple question: Have you jerked off since that night? Sure, you regretted it when you sobered up, but you got the answer you wanted... sort of.

I’ve wanted to, but I also want to get into heaven unlike some people. Wow, pointed. However, I have watched more... pornographic films??? Sometimes the girl puts the mans... in her mouth, and it’s scary. Why would someone want to do that?

After explaining to the poor boy what a blowjob is and why it’s amazing, he takes two days to respond to your text, something he’s never done before. It was radio silence, and you didn’t bother to try to garner a response, because you knew Felix was busy

After waiting what seemed like an eternity for a response, you got what you were praying for, and you were worried this would happen.

I’m sorry if this comes off as aggressive, but will you show me a blowjob? Like, perform a blowjob on me? I take back what I said about getting into heaven. I can always beg for forgiveness, but right now, I’m really frustrated. 

You’ve created a monster. 

When Felix escapes the attic after you give him what you believe to be his first sexual encounter with another person, you quietly reenter the congregation as if you didn’t just cause the prettiest church boy to bust a load on himself minutes before. 

“Darling, there you are!” Your mother holds her arms out to you after what you presumed to be a particularly moving speech from the pastor. “We’re having dinner with the Lee family tonight, and I’d expect you to be on your best behavior. Would you like to join us?” 

“I’d be happy to go, mom.” Fuck fuck fuck. This was supposed to be a one time thing, and as much as the idea of teasing Felix in front of his family excited you, you’d hate to get caught by your own family, although the devil in you was very willing to take that risk for the slightest bit of sexual satisfaction. 

“Great! We’ll head over at 5 o’clock. Please dress up, dear. Your current shirt looks wrinkled. What were y-” 

“I’ll dress up, don’t worry!” You cut her off, and her face scrunches, but you’d rather not have to deal with the wrath of your mother. Your father returns to your mother after having a short conversation with Felix’s father.

“Mr. Lee said Felix could be a good influence on you, Y/n.” The temptation to roll your eyes was strong considering the preceding events. “Pay attention to how he talks to his parents. You could learn something, sweetheart.”

As much as you wanted to cause a scene in the church from your father’s condescending tone, you were more focused on getting home and changing your soaked, ruined panties. Your family says their casual goodbyes to the other churchgoers, and you make your way back to the family car, hoping your father speeds home. 

“Honey, it’s time to go!” Your mother puts in her second earring as she yells up to your room from the bottom of the stairs. Your door wings open to reveal you in a short red skirt, low-cut white shirt, white dress shoes, and bright red lipstick. “You’re wearing that?”

“It’s fine, ma! Nothing they haven’t seen before!” You whisk past your mother and slide into the backseat of the family car, ready to have dinner with the boy of your nightmares. 

When you enter the Lee family household, you can tell Felix’s parents are judging you, but you didn’t dress like that for them. When Felix turns the corner and faces you, his eye practically bulge out of his head. His gaze is glued to your thighs, hips, bust, and lips, and you wouldn’t have it any other way. Judging by the sudden tightening in his pants, he clearly enjoys the view.

“Hello! Welcome to our house,” Felix’s mother escorts you inside to the living room. “Make yourself at home until dinner is ready.” She disappears into the kitchen while Felix’s father sits down on the couch and invites you and your family to sit with him. Felix shyly sits next to his father, although there was hardly any room for him to sit there. 

Your father and Felix’s father start talking about sports, while your mother goes on her phone. You make eye contact with Felix from across the couch, and his whole body tenses and he breaks into a nervous sweat. Aw, she’s so pretty, what do I do, what do I do, frick, frick, fuck.

Without saying a word, Felix gets up and runs out of the living room. Everyone darts their attention towards him, but no one tries to stop him. 

“Dinner’s re- where did Felix go?” His mother enters the living room, but her announcement is halted by the absence of her son. Everyone looks at each other, no one having answers for Felix's tantrum. "Would someone go get him please?"

"I got him." Your devious smirk should set the crowd off, but you make your way up the stairs to where you see Felix's bedroom door. His door had his name on it, so it was pretty clear what room was his.

"Go away." The second he hears your knock, he throws a pillow at his door, as if that would stop you from barging in. You see him sat on his bed, arms crossed, another pillow over his crotch, and his lip in a pout. "Why did you come here wearing that?"

He was definitely on the defense, and you've never seen Felix this angry since the night in the church. "I just thought this outfit was cute." Playing innocent might not have been the best idea at this moment, but you just had to calm him down and get him out to dinner.

"Yeah, it's a nice outfit, but I can see your butt whenever you turn around, and your cleavage is out, and I'm just very confused." He was frustrated at himself more than you. You sit next to him and put your hand on his shoulder, a familiar scene.

"Come down for dinner, and afterwards, I'll show you what I have under this outfit, okay babe?" Felix was so painfully tensed, every nerve of his was on edge. Your words were filthy, but he loved it so much.

He can't stop thinking about you. He wants to do everything to your body: eat you out, fuck your tits, spank your ass. He wants to do every sinful thing he's seen in those videos. Just imagining seeing you in your underwear makes him want to bust in his pants. You're driving him insane, and if Felix from a few weeks ago had seen what he has become, he would be disgusted.

You two make your way downstairs, Felix staring at your ass the entire time, and take your seats at the table. The dinner table was a circle, so you were seated right between Felix and your mother. Not the sexiest setting, but that wouldn't stop you.

The food was delicious, but halfway through, you placed your hand on Felix's thigh, and although you had him pecking the back of your throat earlier that day, he was still extremely sensitive to every touch. When your hand slid up his leg, he let out the quietest moan, and although the table was full of chatter between your parents, you were able to hear the precious sounds leaving Lee Felix as you swiped your hand across his twitching bulge.

Felix grabs your wrist and throws your arm back to you. He gives you a death stare, but his eyes are dark, and he looks so fucking needy. You meet his gaze and adjust your top, pulling it even lower than it already was. His eyes are glued to your tits, but you point down to your crotch, where you're fingering your self under the table. Felix bites his lip, but goes back to eating his food.

You take your wet finger and wipe it against his pant leg. Jesus fucking Christ, you were breaking this boy. His bulge was painfully large, and again, he felt like he could bust in his pants.

"I'm wet for you, baby boy. When dinner's over, do you want to taste me?" You whisper in his ear, and he closes his eyes tightly, trying not to fully fall for your tricks. His pathetic nod is all you need to go back to finishing your dinner, and he does the same, but his mind is fogged with the image of your naked body bouncing on his cock. So pathetic. So, so pathetic.

Dinner ends, Felix's mom takes the plates, and you and Felix disappear back into his room while the adults have their alone time to drink and chat. When he locks the door, you pin him to the wall and lick your lips. You stare him up and down, watching him as he panics. Everything he wanted to do to you escapes him, and he's putty in your hands.

Speechless, Felix rests his hands flush against the wall and tilts his head backwards, giving you full access to his neck. You take the opportunity to make dark hickeys along his neck, which will definitely be visible to his parents later. Your tongue against his skin makes him shudder, and mindless whimpers escape his lips.

"If you ever want to stop, the safe word is red, or snap twice. I'll only go as far as you want to, Lix." He nods, repeats what you said, and you go back to work on his neck.

"C-can I taste you?" His words are feint, but you're more than happy to take his request. You slip your skirt down to the floor and take off your tight shirt, giving Felix a full show of your lingerie you wore just for him.

"You've become such a whore for me, Lix." You traced his body with your hands, sliding your fingertips over his abs and chest. "Do you even know what to do with my pussy, huh? You're so innocent, I doubt you'd be able to make me cum."

His heart was racing, and he wanted nothing more than to prove you wrong. While, yes, he had no idea what he was doing, he wanted to taste your sweet release coat his tongue.

"Teach me." He was being bold. You'd never thought you'd see Felix this confident in this setting, especially since he was admitting to being inexperienced. You took his hands in yours and lead him to the bed. He watched you as you sat on the edge of the bed and spread your legs, giving him full access to your dripping cunt.

"Get on your knees, baby boy." He did as instructed, but this was the first time he was on his knees next to his bed to do anything other than pray. His hands ghosted over your thighs, scared to touch you without your permission.

"May I take off your panties?" You nod and lift your hips, allowing him to slide them down your legs. A string of wetness connected you with your panties, and Felix's mouth was watering. Your panties were discarded across the room, and you unhooked your bra and tossed it with the rest of your clothes. "Woah, you're so gorgeous."

You pet his blushing, freckled cheek, and coax him closer to your heat. His lips are hardly centimeters away from you, and you gently tangle your hand in his hair. "Lick my pussy, naughty boy. I know you want to."

Felix bites his lip before diving into your pussy, his tongue exploring every fold. Even though he doesn't know where the clitoris is, he knows that when he licks the top of your pussy, your thighs shake around him, so he circles his tongue through your cunt, and you give him the sweetest praise.

"Such a good boy for me, yeah?" You smile down at him, and the eye contact is intoxicating. You tighten around nothing when his tongue perfectly flicks over your clit. "Finger me, please, baby.”

He inserts his index finger into your core, and it feels like heaven to both of you. Felix imagines it's his cock inside you, and the thought of you tightening around him urges him to take his tight pants off without removing his mouth from your pussy.

"Bend your finger, my slutty little boy. Make your mistress cum on your pretty face." Your high was approaching, and you wanted Felix to work for it. He fucked his finger into you, adding his middle finger in the process. The more he looked at your heat, the more nervous he got, but from the wetness covering his fingers and lips, you didn't notice how nervous he was.

His fingers perfectly pushed into your g-spot, and your orgasm got miles closer. Your moans got louder, and no matter how close your parents were to hearing, you didn't quiet down. Felix loved your moans, and his cock twitches in his underwear.

"You're so hot, Y/n, please cum for me." His voice was hoarse and desperate, but you weren't that easy.

"Suck my clit. Make me cum all over your face, cutie." He aimlessly sucked at your folds, but when he found your clit, he never left that spot. Your violent moans of pleasure made him groan onto your clit, sending you over the edge. Your essence covered his fingers, and he lapped up every bit of your release. "Good boy."

You were out of breath, but Felix just started. He stood up and sat in your lap. You placed your hands on his hips, squeezing him and making him jolt. His erection was painfully pressed against his tight boxers, and you hooked your finger around the waistband and pulled them down his thighs. Although it had only been a few hours, his length never failed to impress you.

"Please fuck me, Y/n. I want to feel you on me." He was so desperate for any sort of touch. You lazily wrapped your hand around his cock and started stroking, but he grabbed your wrist, stopping you. "Ride me."

"Very demanding for a little slut, don't you think?" You throw him off your lap, his back harshly slamming onto the bed. Your legs surround his hips as you line your entrance with his cock, and he squeezes his eyes shut. His hands held onto your thighs as if it were life or death, and for him, it was.

Right before you lowered yourself onto him, he felt every negative thought enter his mind. What if I'm not good enough? What if I cum too soon? What if she hates me? What would my parents say if they caught us? God, please forgive me.

You see him grit his teeth, and you stop. You gently pet his cheek again, bringing him back to earth, and more importantly, bringing his attention back on your dripping core hanging over his cock.

Without warning, Felix grabs your hips and pushes you down onto him. He loses all control, and you love it. You stay still once he bottoms out, his face contorting into questionable expressions from the pleasure overwhelming him. He calms down, and you start to ride him, his cock sliding against your walls and filling you up perfectly.

You throw your head back and quicken your pace, chasing your second orgasm. Felix feels himself on the edge, but he holds back, fearful of what will happen if he cums inside you.

"Fuck, Felix, you feel so good." Your moans are so load, and the creaking of the bed is deafening. Felix's deep grunts and growls sound amazing, and his grip on your hips is tight enough to bruise. "So good, baby boy, so good."

His finger lingers to the familiar spot that is your clitoris, although Felix doesn't know that fully. He circles his finger around your sensitive bud, and his other hand grips your tit. His hands feel so good, and with one more press into your g-spot, you coat his cock in your cum. He thrusts into you when you tighten around him, and his orgasm is threatening to release, but he refuses to be the father of a child with someone who he is not married to.

You ride out your high on his cock, and when you return back to earth, you remove yourself and harshly wrap your hand around his cock. Your pumps are violent, and his body is aching for an orgasm. You bend over and lick the tip, his cum coating your tongue and face. He opens his eyes, cum squirted onto your face, and he's sure you'll be mad at him, but you lick your lips, collect his cum from your face, and swallow every last drop.

Without a word, you topple over next to him, and you rest your head on his chest. He hesitantly wraps his arm around you, and you muzzle into him.

"You're so good for me, Felix." You whisper into him, but he hear every word. He smiles, unable to speak after the intense orgasm he just experienced. "We need to go back downstairs, you know?"

After a few moments of silence, Felix speaks up. "Y/n, this is... wrong." He sits up, your head falling onto the bed and his arms holding him up. "We shouldn't have done this."

"Did you enjoy it?"

"Yes, b-"

"Then nothing is wrong." You pat his back, admiring the defined muscles. You sit up with him and look at the clothes scattered across the room. "Sex isn't bad, Lix."

"This just goes against what I've been taught my entire life." He pauses, deep in thought. "Sex is good." He repeats under his breath.

You stand up and stretch, your ass catching Felix's eye. He sighs and accepts his actions, clearing his floor of the discarded clothing and getting dressed again.

"Felix, can I borrow a hoodie?" You hold up a hoodie from the local Christian radio station, and Felix shrugs. "Thanks, babe."

"Y/n, do you like me?" You stop in your tracks after Felix's question, and you honestly don't know how to answer. Did you like Lee Felix?

"I'm not sure, but maybe we could go on a date sometime." Your tone was casual, but your mind was racing. Before this, you thought you didn't have feelings for the cute little church boy, but now that you've been confronted with it, you didn't know how to feel.

"... Sure."

[yandere-ac]

You get this a lot but can you do a Yandere Tom Nook X Reader, With Tom trying to comfort a recently ‘broken up’ with (Tomtotallydidntscareaway) reader? Sorry that It’s so specific lmao

Before I start let me just say. Anon, that’s not a specific request at all. You should see some of my requests lol. But anyways, this fic gets....special towards the end. Nothing actually happens but it’s a little suggestive so if that’s not your cup of tea then I wouldn’t suggest this one.

Yandere Tom X Reader

Closer

Pain. All you felt right now was pain. You were curled up on your bed, hugging your knees against your chest. You wanted to shrink down and implode, leaving this cruel world behind. You hated this, it hurt more than any wound. This was a wound to your heart, and you didn’t think it could ever heal. This is what you had been doing for the past two days. Cowering in your own bed only to cry your eyes out and needing to drink more water. For these past two days it felt like all you did was cry. Eating breakfast? Crying. Showering? Crying. Watching tv? Crying. You felt so lost, so helpless. What were you without him? You didn’t ever want to leave your house. What would the others say if they found you like this? Thinking about it only made you more sad, to think how they would be shocked then probably run up to you and give you a big hug. They’re are so sweet. Isabelle would probably give you a big embrace before taking you to the residential services where she’d make you tea and tell you it was gonna be okay. Thinking about it almost made you want to leave, but you couldn’t. You didn’t even have the energy to leave bed. You wished he was here to hug you, to tell you everything was gonna be okay...your Jamie....

Your silent room was filled with noice as you heard knocking on your door. You did nothing to open it but the knocking just continued. After a while you dragged yourself up, blanket still resting on your shoulders and engulfing you in a big shell of warmth and comfort against the coldness around you. You slowly made your way to the door, your feet dragging behind you in a sluggish manner. Opening the door slightly, just a creak so you could see who was there. It was the one and only Tom Nook. He looked at you with concern yet relief that you answered the door.

“Y/N? Are you okay sweetie?” He asked, slowly reaching his hand to you. He started to gently caress your arm all while looking at you. It felt...nice. You just wanted to drag him inside and give him a hug. “I heard about...about what happened. I’m very sorry about your boyfriend. May I come in?” He asked. You stayed silent for a few seconds. Your house was a mess and the state of you weren’t very pretty either. But it’s Tom. You knew him, you also knew that he wouldn’t judge you. So you opened the door and stepped inside to let him come in. He looked around the room as he entered. All blinds were closed, sealing the room in complete darkness. Pillows from the couch were spread all over the room and there were old dishes here and there. “Sorry for the mess...” you said as you closed the door behind him. “Oh don’t worry about it. Trust me, as a person who’s had their heart broken, I know it takes a toll on you.” Tom said nonchalantly as he picked up one pillow, fluffing it up a little. “Wait what?” “No no, we’re here for you now, not for me okay?” Tom said before the question could even leave your mouth. “Now, what I want you to do is go upstairs and take a nice long bath. Add bubbles, bath bombs, anything you want. Just relax and treat yourself. I’ll be here cleaning up.” This caught you off guard. “Huh? No I-I can’t do that. I mean leaving you to clean up MY mess while I get to relax? It wouldn’t feel right.” You tried to insist but Tom was practically pushing you upstairs. “Y/N I insist. I have two small boys at home, you should see the messes they make. This is nothing I assure you.” And so, you finally agreed. You went up to your bathroom and took a nice long bath. Trying to relax while taking deep breaths. You even poured some bubbles in the bathtub and after relaxing for a bit decided to start playing with them a little. Bouncing one foam ball from one hand into the other. You sat there for a while. Letting your worries melt away. You didn’t know why, but the thought of Tom distracted you from the thought of....him.

Walking down the stairs you saw that Tom really did clean up the entire house. He had lifted up the blinds, fluffed the pillows, placed everything neatly in order, even the dishes were gone. Looking walking into the kitchen you saw Tom putting down the final plate Into one of the cabinets. He had done the dishes. You felt yourself let out a sigh of amazement. This alerted Tom and caused him to turn around swiftly. Seeing that it was you he let his guard down. “Oh Y/N! There you are! Was the bath nice?” He asked. But you didn’t answer. You simply looked at him with love in your eyes. “Y/N? Is something wro-“ you ran up to him and embraced him tightly. Burying your face into his neck. As soon as you ran into his arms, he wrapped them around you. He nuzzled into your hair, and at that moment, everything felt perfect. “Thank you Tom...thank you thank you thank you!” You felt Toms chest vibrate at this as he let out a deep chuckle. “Oh Y/N, it was really no big deal. I’m happy to help you, any time.”

“So, what movie do you wanna watch?” You asked while rummaging through your old dvds, trying to find what movie to watch. “Umm, what movies do you have?” Tom asked you, sitting on your bed cross legged. “Oh well I have pirates of the Caribbean, spy kids, my neighbour- MY NEIGHBOUR TOTORO! Oh my god I had forgotten about this movie! Can we please watch this one?” You turned around to look at him, giving a big smile. Tom laughed slightly as your eyes became enormous with glee. “Alright then. I think I’ve watched this one time with Timmy and Tommy, but I fell asleep. Not to say that it’s bad I was just tired.” Tom said sheepishly, only realising halfway through the sentence that you might have taken his comment in the wrong way. But you simply laughed a little, putting the disk into the DVD player and plopping down next to Tom. “For real? Looks like you’re really getting the hang of this dad thing huh? Falling asleep on the couch as you’re watching a movie is integral to becoming a father!” You said jokingly as you nudged him slightly with your elbow. And so, you picked up the remote and played the movie. Throughout the duration of the movie, you and Tom scooted closer and closer together until your hands brushed against each other. Tom looked at your hand. He could feel an intense itch through his whole body. He wanted to grab your hand so badly but...should he? You’ve just been broken up with, he didn’t want to overwhelm you or make you uncomfortable. What if you didn’t appreciate it? What if you pulled away immediately? What if you scooted away from him and the air would grow heavy? What if-

But Tom wasn’t able to continue doubting himself as he felt a soft hand place itself on top of his. He could feel his heart speed up as he looked done at his hand. You were currently using your thumb to caress the side of his palm. As he looked up to you he was met by two eyes looking at him with a certain tender way. As he made eye contact with you he felt a slight blush creep onto his cheeks. Should he? And so, he gently grabbed your hand. And as he did this, you leaned your head against his shoulder, almost melting into the touch. After a few seconds of panic, Tom also leaned his head against your head, a million thoughts racing through his mind. But the most prominent being you, how soft your hair felt, how nice your hand in his felt, how good you smelled, how perfect you felt with him. Like you belonged here, here in his arms, away from the world. He didn’t want to let go. He never wanted to depart from you. Like if he let go you would slip away from him or something. He didn’t even pay attention to the movie. All he could think of was you, you, you. How much he wanted you, how much he NEEDED you! How much happier you would be with him rather than with that lowlife you called your “boyfriend”. Well not any more. Tom was going to make sure that imbecile never got close to you again. But for now, he wanted to stay like this. Holding onto your hand as you rested on each other. Sadly, he couldn’t stay like that forever. The movie did eventually end. And so, did your embrace.

You rose up and stretched your body, letting out a small grunt as you did. “That was great! What did you think?” You asked him. At this point Tom felt a small rush of panic flow through his body. But luckily, he was able to hide it. “It was a very cute film yes, yes! I certainly understand why you like it so much.” He said as he gave you a smile. A smile which you returned. Oh how cute you looked when you smiled. Tom wanted that smile all to himself. He didn’t want anyone else to see it. “We should do this more often. It was really nice. Thank you for taking my mind off....Jamie....” as you said his name your voice became meek and barely audible. It felt as if all the sadness that had gone away suddenly flushed over you like a tsunami. “We....we used to have movie nights on Fridays....he would always suggest such good movies and I....I....” your eyes started to sting as your vision got blurry. Tom was quick to notice this and swiftly pulled you into his arms. “Oh honey...” you started to cry. You cried on Toms shoulder as he stroked your hair all while whispering small coos and words of comfort. “Shhh. Shhh. It’s okay. It’s alright.” You let out hiccups and sniffles as the tears kept flowing. “...I’m...I’m sorry.” You said as you started to shake. “Don’t apologise. You’ve done nothing wrong my dear.” “I’m making you sit here and- and listen to all my personal problems! It’s- it’s not okay!” You didn’t want to be so weak in front of him. You knew he wouldn’t judge. He was the last person to judge you. But you still felt so...pathetic. “Y/N. It’s okay to cry. It’s how we deal with things like this. If we hold it back, we’ll just end up more hurt in the long run. So please. Let yourself cry. It’s not bad or weak. It’s how almost everyone deals with being hurt.” What he said was the truth. You knew that it was the truth. But hearing Tom say it. It was like a confirmation. And so, you let your tears flow. You sat there in Toms arms for what felt like hours. Crying and crying until the tears ran out. At that point you were still shivering and gasping for air.

Tom departed from you, holding your shoulders and making you look at him in the eyes. “Now Y/N, I want you to know. That if that guy left you, he’s made the biggest mistake of his life. Because you are a smart, wonderful, fun and beautiful/handsome/stylish girl/boy/person. And frankly, if he can’t see that, then he’s not worth your time. Anyone would kill to be with you. And if he’s to blind to realise what’s in front of him, then that’s his problem and not yours.” Tom said to you, never breaking eye contact. His eyes were stern and yet his grip was soft. He used one of his hands to wipe away any remaining tears that were still on your face. The two of you stared at each other for a few seconds. Both feeling drawn to each other. Soon, you both slowly started to lean towards each other. Both very unsure what to do. As your noses were mere centimetres from each other, Toms eyes felt heavier. He leaned closer and...no...no this wasn’t right. He let go and pulled back. Feeling disgusted with himself that he would ever do something like that. You were emotionally vulnerable right now. He couldn’t take advantage of that. No matter if his intentions were pure or not.

“I’m...I’m so sorry Y/N. That- that was inappropriate of me. I didn’t mean- I just- I’m so-“ but just like before, he couldn’t doubt himself any more as you wrapped your arms around his shoulders and connected the space between you. Sealing your lips together. Tom felt his heart practically explode as you did this and it didn’t take long for him to kiss you back. Wrapping himself around you as his ears puffed up. This. This was the point of no return. You’ve burned any and all bridges that were connected to you two being just friends. There had always been a certain tension between you two. But now? Now all that tension was releasing. And there was nothing stopping it. Toms grasp on you was tight. Like he wasn’t gonna let you go in a million years. You managed to do something to him that not many people could do. You brought out his animalistic instincts. He wanted to protect you. Be with you. Make you his. He thought that what he did to your past boyfriend was the thing that broke out his inner animal. But this? As he held onto you, he felt that animalistic feeling but ten times stronger. He couldn’t hold it back. He wouldn’t hold it back. He felt his hands start to trail up and down your body. But before he could do anything else he managed to stop himself long enough to break the kiss. He looked at you, his eyes intense. You had never seen him like this before. But the look in his eyes told you exactly what he was thinking. And so, with a small smile. You nodded. And all hell broke loose in Toms mind. He didn’t wait for one more second. He pulled you down to the bed with him. The two of you continued where you left off. Tom knew he could come off as intimidating, but he was gonna be as careful as he possibly could. You lied on your back, looking up at him. Tom took his hand and placed it on top of yours. This was happening. Tom was gonna make you his.

His darling. His mate. His Y/N.

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So yeah....sorry to the anon if you wanted this to be fluffy, my caveman brain took over lol. But man. My first suggestive fic. Everyday I get one step closer to writing Tom Nook in heat (I’m kidding).

[masjestickingdom]

Secretly Fighting (For You)

Pairing: NCT Jaehyun x reader

Genre: Angst, one shot, fluff

Summary: You and your best friend Jaehyun are inseparable and love each other platonically. Key word: platonically. Or so you thought. When Jaehyun’s relationship with his girlfriend goes into turmoil, suppressed feelings resurface, but in the light of preserving friendship, an idiotic, ignorant front is put up. Will your relationship with Jaehyun remain stable or will the possibility of being something more be the ultimate destructive ending?

Note: Hey! So this is the scenario I’ve been hinting at for the past two updates. This scenario is by far the longest piece I’ve written, and it’s also a bit different from my usual one shots in the sense that I’m trying out a more angsty/fighting-type scenario. I hope you enjoy it!  

_______________________________________________________________________

   “Jaehyun, open up!” a loud, shrill voice shrieked. “We need to talk!”

   Banging soon followed and sure enough, it caught the attention of both occupants of the apartment: you and your best friend Jaehyun.

   You and Jaehyun had the amazing opportunity to rent out an entire apartment floor, shared with a few of your mutual friends, including your younger cousin Haechan. Having an entire floor was unbelievably amazing, and you quickly adapted to the perks that came along with it. The best part of having one humongous floor was the sense of privacy. It seemed trivial to you at first, but not having that constant anxiety of coincidentally meeting your next door neighbor and not having to hear the constant arguments between next door children were things you got comfortable with. As a matter of fact, it was one of the reasons you used to convince the others to join you in renewing the contract a few months ago.

   That was the perk, but it was being completely invaded by that crazy girl your best friend called his girlfriend. Generally, what he did to his girlfriends was his own problem, so he rarely talked to you about the reasons behind his break-ups. Sometimes, he wouldn’t even tell you whether he was still in a relationship or not. Of course, you, being his best friend, sensed his break-ups every time without him having to tell you. The dark gaze that passed his eyes when you once asked him about his date gave away everything. In that similar sense, you were always able to smell something fishy with every other relationship he had.

   “Jaehyun, I know you’re in there!” his girlfriend continued to scream.

   With the absurd situation, you had no idea what to do. It was thrown at you in the middle of your slumber, and all you could think about was how good of an alarm your friend’s girlfriend would have been with that booming voice of hers. Thankfully, everyone else on the floor had already left for either school or work. You and Jaehyun were the only ones whose schools ended early, so since the beginning of your summer break, both of you were typically the last ones to wake.

   Standing in front of the intercom, staring at the girlfriend’s frustrated face, you angled your neck so that your head was tilted to one side. From that angle, her resemblance to Cassie from Dragon Tales was uncanny.

   “Jung Jaehyun, I will stand here and wait for you all morning if I have to!” she yelled.

   You immediately exchanged a terrified face with Jaehyun as he stood next to you, massaging his temples.

   “Jae, you have to answer her,” you urged, not understanding why he was avoiding his girlfriend. “Our neighbors will complain.”

   He freed his face of his hands and lifted his head to get a better look at his girlfriend through the intercom.

   “Do I have to?” he groaned, which was completely out of character for him.

   Dreading to face another angry girlfriend was normal, but openly avoiding confrontation was not Jaehyun. Maybe he’s tired of being angry at, you thought, concern taking over your facial expression. Why did his girlfriends end up being mad at him? You had no clue, but it happened almost every time. The one time one of them wasn’t mad was when you told Jaehyun to never let go of her.

   “Hey,” Jaehyun spoke, pulling you from your trance. “I’m the one who has to deal with Screaming Girlfriend over there. What’s with your face?”

   You directed your eyes at him, and when you saw the distress in his eyes, you finally mustered the courage to ask him the questions you were afraid to ask. “Why is it that your relationships, with the exception of Bora, end horribly? What are you doing to make them mad?”

   You saw the change of look in his eyes. It was as if you were living in slow motion because you saw a clear transition from concern to stone, which is what you called Jaehyun’s emotionless, stoic state of being. Somewhere in your brain the “stone mode is activated” alert went off. You had no time to process why he was in stone mode because, suddenly, you were walking away from the intercom, but not by your own will. Jaehyun had a strong grip around your wrist, and he was practically dragging you away from the virtual screen of his screaming girlfriend. He was definitely avoiding your questions.

   Figuring that pressing him on about his relationship patterns would pull a trigger to his patience, you decided to nag him about something less trivial, something you tended to do when you tried to mitigate tension.

   “Jae, if the rest of them are going to come over here and disrupt our process of becoming Sleeping Beauty, you might as well move and leave me be at peace.”

   When he kept dragging you away, you became more desperate.

   “Hey, are you even listening to me? Aren’t you my best friend? Don’t you want your best friend to rejuvenate? Do you want me to live with bigger bags of dark circles, huh? Hey, are you there?”

   By the last question, you were in front of your bedroom, your door opened the way you left it when you barged out of your room earlier that morning to see what the commotion was about. Your eyebrows furrowed as you failed to ease the tension because what he said next hit you like ice.

   “Stay in your room,” he said, keeping his hands firmly wrapped around your wrists. “I don’t want you coming out until I say so.”

   “Mother, all I did was ask a bunch of questions,” you replied sarcastically.

   But Jaehyun wasn’t having it.

   “Do you understand me?” he asked with the sternest look you had ever seen in him in the last six years you had known him.

   Reluctantly, you let out a small sigh and nodded your head. “You won’t hear me squeak.”

   He mirrored your actions, acknowledging your compliance before he left you standing there. This isn’t some kind of war film, you said silently. It’s not like you’re going off on conscription. Nevertheless, you closed the door,  switching off the talkative voice in your head in the process.

   ...

   “You’re never honest with me,” you heard Jaehyun’s girlfriend cry. “You always lie about your feelings! The time you... and that other time..."

   It was minute twenty-three and you were racking your brain, trying to come up with a better way to hear the girl. What happened during the first twenty-three minutes? Some hitting. And some more hitting. And some more hitting until Jaehyun had had enough and asked her to calm down. It was silent for eight minutes, which was a pretty accurate time estimate, considering you were counting with the old-fashioned “one-mississippi, two-mississippi...".

   The last two minutes were the freshest memories in your mind. It probably had to do with the fact that they were literally the last two minutes you could clearly listen to, but it undoubtedly had to do with the fact that the confrontation reminded you of the times your previous neighbors’ kids would shout at each other at each other and of the arguments your parents had their fair share of.

   Damn, why does my room have to be farthest from the entryway? You silently cursed in frustration while you were on your stomach, trying to shove the side of your head, where your ears were located, down your door to hear better clarity through the bottom cracks.

   “...I asked you so many times if you had feelings for..."

   That was it. You had the last straw; you gave up and situated yourself against the wall, becoming comfortable with the opening cracks that the side of your door provided. Fortunately for you, your breathing stabled from all that activity, and you could hear the conversation, or argument, rather, more clearly.

   “I asked you so many times and you never denied it!” you heard the girl say angrily.

   “Because I figured that the first few times I answered truthfully with a definitive ‘no’, you didn’t believe me, so what difference does it make if I deny it or not when you clearly don’t trust me?” Jaehyun shot back, letting go of himself for the first time.

   Sure, you witnessed him getting into physical fights and verbal altercations before, but not with a girl. He was always respectful and always kept his anger at bay. He had never raised his voice at anyone--except at you, but those times were never caused by angry outbreaks.

   “I saw you sneaking around,” Jaehyun continued, “following us at the mall when I definitely told you that there was nothing going on!”

   The mall? Your eyebrows scrunched together. Who was he at the mall with?

   “It was the mall, Jaehyun!” his girlfriend--although you weren’t sure if she was his girlfriend anymore with all the fighting--spat. “People who go to the mall together are either family or are taken!”

   “That’s ridiculous,” Jaeyhun retorted. “Since when was the mall off limits to friends?”

   “Since I saw the look you gave her when you brought me to her birthday party!”

   “What do you want me to do?!” Jaehyun exclaimed exasperatedly. “She’s my friend and I can’t just unfriend her!”

   “That. I want that.”

   And for the first time in ten minutes, the house was silent. Were you hearing things correctly? Were you hearing this girl forbid your best friend from seeing someone? That got you riled up. How dare that imbecile demand that ludicrous request of him?

   Of course, other than the broken silence in your head, the silence in the entryway was short-lived when Jaehyun followed up with, “What?”

   “You heard me: unfriend her.”

   You heard Jaehyun scoff. “You’re delirious. I am not breaking off a friendship I value for some crazy request.”

   Do it, Jae, you thought, your heart thumping in excitement for what you anticipated the next words in his mouth to be. Do it. 

   “I’m breaking up with you.”

   Cue your celebratory dance, which was, of course, performed in your imagination. For the first time known in history, Jung Jaehyun had finally broken up with someone. Throughout the entirety of his life, Jaehyun was the one who was broken up with. In that moment, thanks to that crazy ex-girlfriend of his, he was the breaker for the first time. He did it, you sang, which accompanied your imaginary dance. He did it, he did it, he did-

   “Fine,” the girl declared. “But tell me: did you love her or did you not?”

   Jaehyun, his stone-cold voice still operating, countered with, “I’m not obligated to tell you anything.”

   “As your ex, I demand-”

   “All we’re doing is walking in an endless cycle we don’t need to be in anymore.”

   “You’re not denying it, Jaehyun!”

   “And we’re back in circles.”

    When you heard nothing, you pushed yourself against the door, wanting to listen to everything. Is she gone? Did she leave? Did he get rid of her? No, she was far from gone. 

   Voices resurfaced and soon enough, you heard Jaehyun say hurriedly, “What are you doing?” 

   His voice neared and by the time you realized that she was heading towards your room, it was too late: she swung open your door, which, by the way, was unpleasant, especially because your face was already behind it.

   “Don’t you dare pull her into this,” you heard your friend say in the middle of the swinging-the-door-open process, glaring daggers at his ex.

   It never registered in that empty head of yours that you were the infamous mysterious identity in their disagreements--or any of his disagreements with his other girlfriends, really. It wasn’t until your eyes locked with hers, a chill running down all over your body. You swear her eyes were icy cold.

   Jaehyun’s eyes followed hers. Feeling the need to break off the intense eye contact, you averted your eyes to him, earning you a scoff. You stood there, staring at Jaehyun helplessly.

   “So this is the scum you keep lying about,” the girl suddenly attacked, to which you responded with your eyes instantly trailing back to her.

   No one had called you out like that before. Never like that, and it felt disgusting. You had only met her twice, once the first time Jaehyun introduced her to you and second at your birthday party.

   You were too immersed in your own thoughts, coming up with all the possible comebacks and attacks you could formulate, that you missed Jaehyun’s darkening eyes.

   “Get out,” Jaehyun spoke, his voice dangerously low. “Get out now.”

   “She-”

   “Get your crap together and get out while I’m still being nice.”

   The unfamiliar tone intrigued you into taking another look at your best friend and evaluating his expression. There was no doubt that he was pissed off. His eyebrows were stiff and his eyes were narrowed, replicating the coldness of an iceberg. He had his jaws clenched, which amazingly defined his jawline, leading your eyes to the veins that were protruding from his neck. He wasn’t huffing out angry breaths like the crazy girl in front of you; instead, he was breathing so skillfully with his nose that you, for a moment, doubted if he was breathing at all. At that point in time, you knew that that face wasn’t his rock-hard stone mode. It was his ultimate shut out mode, and although you lived for it, you feared for what he would do if the girl didn’t leave.

   When the girl wouldn’t budge, Jaehyun did something that made you realize that that day was a day discovering a new side of Jaehyun. For the first time, he raised his voice at a girl, broke up with a girl, and brought out the ultimate shut out. In that moment, you witnessed one of the scariest (and manliest) sides of Jaehyun you had ever seen.

   Your best friend, the guy who you believed, without a fail, was considerate of others, caring, and seriously entertaining at times, broke his quintessentially collected and patient self. He grabbed your wrist and, without a notice, pulled you closer to him, letting you inhale that whiff of the naturally floral-scented shampoo he used the other night and the honey-based face mask he had on before his ex showed up. In that situation, looking up at him, centimeters away from his face, had your stomach doing somersaults. His jawline was impeccably sharp, which was so beside the point, but you couldn’t help but admire his beauty. Even that beauty mark he developed on his neck, the mark people normally call a flaw, was a charming imperfection.

   With his hand wrapped around your wrist, he warned, “We’re going to be in the kitchen as if nothing happened for exactly one minute. If you’re not gone by then, I’m calling the cops.”

   And that was that. When his ex snobbishly sashayed away after a full minute, Jaehyun returned to his normal state and sighed in relief. He turned his attention to you and his hands left your wrists, only to land on your shoulders.

   “You okay?” he asked in a soft, but rough voice.

   You barely nodded. You were set in a trance with his beautiful eyes, which you noted were beautifully concerned for you. He offered a small smile and pulled you into a hug. It was only  nine in the morning and both of you were tired.

   “Sorry you had to go through that because of me,” he said quietly.

   Your arms quickly found their way around a comfortable spot on Jaehyun’s torso.

   “Hey, for you, I would go through that again anytime,” you breathed, a sincere smile forming on your lips.

   He rested his chin on your head and began rocking your bodies back and forth.

   “Really? You would relive that experience?”

   “In a heartbeat.”

   A chuckle left his lips and you felt his body, especially his chest, vibrate harmoniously in sync.

   “You’re crazy,” he said.

   “Maybe, but what are best friends for?”

   And that’s when the swaying stopped. Subsequently, the warmth he provided you left your body.

   “Right,” he spoke, pulling away from you.

   The portion of warmth that was left was your fingertips because that was the last place that left his torso, and that withered away a split second later. He shot you a quick smile before heading towards the adjacent living room. Thinking that he wanted some time alone, you stayed in the kitchen, but he soon patted a place for you to sit on the couch next to him.

   Somewhat relieved, you followed the steps he took to the living room and asked, “Are you tired?”

   His eyes landed on yours and your heart broke at his tense state.

   “If you ever want to get back with her, I can-”

   Your face was met by one of the throw pillows.

   “You’re crazy,” he chortled, shaking his head.

   You smiled at your small success at bringing a smile on the exhausted face, so you tried for one more.

   “You know, I would have told you to do whatever she asked of you and to fight for her, but, damn, she was so adamant and selfish that she was definitely not worth fighting for.”

   He shook his head, laughing. “If she had trusted me, she would have stayed.”

   It was his way of saying that it was okay, you thought. But what you weren’t aware of was that it was his way of secretly fighting for a certain someone.

   He took a moment to collect his thoughts before he added, “Besides, I wouldn’t have trusted me either.”

   It took a lot of willpower not to analyze what he meant by that, but you failed miserably after three seconds. You knew that you were mistaken as more than a friend by his crazy ex, but what did it mean when he was the one who said it? He was worn out. He probably wasn’t thinking properly, right? Settling with that answer, you lightly threw the pillow back at his direction.

   “What are you talking about? It was her trust issue. We didn’t even hang out that much once you started going out with her.” You shook your head and continued, “The next time you have a girlfriend, I’ll make sure to tone it down whenever she’s around. Actually, consider me invisible.”

   “The next time I have a girlfriend?”

   “The next time you have a girlfriend.”

   When he didn’t respond, you looked over at him, but by then he was already chuckling.

   “After this, I think I’m going to lay off for a while.”

   You goofily smiled at him. “Impossible. All the ladies go to Jaehyun.”

   “All the angry ones.”

   You agreed. “All the crazy ones. What are they thinking? Us? Together? Ridiculous.”

   “That’s what I always tell them.”

   In the back of your mind, you knew that it was possible that his girlfriends could have had trust issues with you since you and Jaehyun were of the opposite sex and were best friends for six years running, but it didn’t cross your mind that you were the root of their serious conflicts.

   “So all this time, they confronted you about me?”

   Your friend merely nodded his head.

   “Wow, I didn’t know that I was popular with the ladies too.”

   With the insane event that happened to him that day, all you wanted to do was restore his energy. You wanted him to forget what happened and live the summer like he should have, so that time, you were the one to take his wrist and pull him up.

   “Let’s go.”

   “But I’m tired.”

   “Let’s go.” 

   ...

   To say you are a spontaneous person is false. Nothing you do is out of spontaneity. All the activities you partake of are predictable of you, and you’re okay with that because that’s you. However, to say that you are completely unpredictable would be false too. For your friends, you would do anything, and for Jaehyun, your best friend in the entire universe, you would do everything.

   “Let’s go,” you said, pulling him out the door. “I promise you that you won’t regret it.”

   So where did you lead Jaehyun to? Everywhere. You took him to the beach, where you both got your clothes wet. You snuck him into a rival college’s campus, a fairly easy thing to do, and watched a hilariously boring film production. You pushed him inside a famous coffee shop and ordered a fan favorite drink, which you shared with wacky straws. After visiting three new places in the span of four hours, you were drained of energy and so was he.

   But there was one place left to go to, one perfect place to end the day.

   “So where is this surprise you’re taking me to?” Jaehyun asked, walking alongside you on an unfamiliar sidewalk.

   “You’ll see,” you teased ambiguously. “We’ll be there in five minutes.”

   Because you were in an unfamiliar place, you had your virtual map on your phone to guide you the way to the highly rated, must-go-to, chill restaurant. The restaurant was a perfect place to end the day: you could eat everything there, return home with full stomachs, and sleep well. It was the ideal situation you formed in your mind. While you were checking the directions, Jaehyun peered over your shoulder to take a sneak peek. You, noticing right away the shadow that loomed over you, immediately retracted your arms behind your back and narrowed your eyes at your friend who had the back of his head already facing you and was whistling to a horrible tune.

   “Hey, no cheating,” you warned him.

   Jaehyun swiftly spun his head and raised an eyebrow at you.

   “Is this supposed to be a game?” he asked, tilting his head.

   “It’s supposed to be a surprise,” you huffed, but when you saw the ends of his lips curl upward, you pressed, “You saw the name, didn’t you?”

   Cue the dramatic gasp.

   “No, I did not,” Jaehyun scoffed playfully. “I cannot believe you would accuse me of such foul play.”

   When you glared at him, he broke into an innocent, but not-so-innocent, smile. You couldn’t help but be enchanted by the way the angle of his tilted head let him cover the sun, the rays of the light shining around him in an endless circle. The way he smiled at you was so pure-looking that you wanted to scream and pinch his dimples. The sparkle in his eyes reflected pure joy, and you wondered if you were the one to have pulled that out of him. No, you reminded yourself. That’s just how he smiles. Nonetheless, your heart raced with an impressive speed. As soon as you felt your face warming up, you set your eyes on the road ahead of you.

   In less than five minutes, you safely and successfully guided Jaehyun to the right place.

   “This is it,” you told him, looking up at a sign that read Al’s Place. “Surprise.”

   Jaehyun laughed at the lack of enthusiasm in your voice.

   “Sorry for peeping earlier,” he said, not-so-gently patting your head.

   You simply grunted in response.

   When you entered the restaurant, you were greeted by an overly eager hostess.

   “Hi, welcome to Al’s Place! How many?”

   “Two,” you replied while Jaehyun scanned the place with his eyes.

   As the hostess led you to a table of two, Jaehyun leaned towards you and whispered, “Nice place.”

   You hummed in response, taking a look at the place yourself. Along the way, you saw a couple of looks being thrown your way--or more specifically, Jaehyun’s way. It wasn’t a foreign occurrence, but it reminded you of the whole “I wouldn’t trust myself either” phrase, which brought you back to: what in the world did he mean by that? If it meant anything remotely to what you secretly wished it meant, you weren’t going to risk your friendship with Jaehyun for a short-term, badly ended relationship like he had with all of his other girlfriends. You just wanted to remain his secret admirer and maintain a strong relationship.

   When it came to Jaehyun, there was no wrong. Even when he made mistakes, he learned from them and “benefited from them,” according to him, “because all those mistakes served to be cardinal learning experiences that would eventually allow him to become a bigger human being”. That was Jung Jaehyun for you, and with your influence on him on a romantic level, that was too much pressure for you. Once, on a day out at a festival with your fellow housemates, Jaehyun had a flock of girls running at him at once, asking for his number. Naturally, he courteously rejected all of them. He had a girlfriend at the time, and, afterall, his friends were waiting for him with their orders. While he rejected them, you and Haechan, being the only ones who volunteered to assist Jaehyun, threw the idea around that no girls would be good enough for Jaehyun.

   “He’s so damn awesome,” you said, expressing your strong acknowledgement of your best friend’s impactful presence. “He’s there with girls swarming around him while we’re here standing like loners waiting for our single-sticked corn dogs for our single selves.”

   “But you know,” your wise cousin started, “I think when he finds a girl who likes him for him and not his looks, they’ll be burdened by his lack of amorality.”

   Leaning back on the corn dog stand’s extended counter to allow your elbows to rest, you observed the way Jaehyun kindly turned down all of his offers. “You think?”

   “It’ll probably happen. I’m pretty sure Jaehyun’s thinking about it too.”

   “That jackass is probably thinking too highly of himself,” you scoffed, but it was an act you put up, and that wise cousin you considered your close friend read you like a book.

   “You know more than anyone that he’s simply thinking of all the possibilities of the perils that will come with each relationship he’s involved in,” Haechan said matter-of-factly. “With all the girls he’s gone out with over the years, whether he likes to admit or not, he’s probably tired of calculating what peril he has to anticipate at the start of any relationship.”

   “And you’re saying that when the right girl comes along, that conflict will be her low self-esteem?”

   Haechan hummed in response, his fingers tapping to a small but fitting tune for the hot summer as he waited for your response.

   Your hesitant response mirrored the lingering anxiety that you couldn’t get rid of.

   “He’s so perfect that he has to worry about being perfect, yet that’s a burden to the girl,” you finally said with a bitter smile. “So unrelatable.”

   You ignored the gaze Haechan was giving you. You didn’t want to know what he was thinking although you had a feeling it had to do with your last comment. He knew the front you put up. He saw right through you. If he saw through you, could everyone else? Could Jaehyun? Instead of dealing with Haechan, you watched Jaehyun reject the last girl. That’s when it dawned on you why you had put up a front, especially for your best friend Jaehyun...

   It started three years prior to the festival, when you were freshmen in college. You were trying to navigate your way through the enormous hallways when you spotted a very familiar brown-haired boy. Jung Jaehyun. His hair was originally black, but he dyed his hair to the lighter shade it became, telling you that he wanted to start a fresh, unanticipated image, and apparently dying his hair was the first step. In response, you snickered and bet that he would return looking like a mess. With that gorgeous girl he was conversing with in the hallway, you knew that you had lost the bet.

   Preceding your college days, Jaehyun only had flings. None of his encounters with girls were serious. It wasn’t that he was a player. It was simply because he wasn’t looking for a committed relationship before college. He once told you, before one of your many movie marathons began, that he didn’t want to deter his studies with an alluring distraction. Yes, he said that right before you started your movie marathon on a school night. Regardless his reasons seemed ridiculous to you or not, he kept his word, and, at the time, you were secretly relieved.

   College was a new territory. That meant that it was Jaehyun’s time to explore the new world of relationships. That meant you had to let go of your buried feelings for Jaehyun, but they were so deeply buried that you never bothered to dig deeper. You just left them sitting there, burying them more when you came up with a defense mechanism, which started when Jaehyun announced to you that he was seeing someone, that majestic girl in the hallway.

   With the exception of hints of jealousy peeping here and there, his flings in high school didn’t trouble you. They were purely flings, afterall. There was no harm in them. Serious, committed relationships, however, were on a different level. When things became serious with his first girlfriend, you developed a system that would ward you off from showing your true feelings, which would have otherwise had you raging with jealousy. That system was sarcasm. You weren’t really the sarcastic-type of friend, but it was the only way that safely kept a distance from you and Jaehyun to prevent any possibility of romantic feelings slipping. It was also--now this you failed to acknowledge--a way to distance yourself from any remotely amorous feelings with anyone, and this helps explain why your dating life barely existed.

   “Earth to Miss Crazy.”

   Jaehyun was waving his hand in front of your face, repeating the same line until you snapped back to reality.

   “Aren’t you going to recommend something for me?” he asked when your eyebrows relaxed.

   “Hey, I’m just as new of a person here as you are,” you said, shaking your head.

   “But still,” he pushed, like a child. “You brought me here.”

   Instead of fighting back like you would have normally done, you called a random waitress to order. To your luck (note the sarcasm), the waitress was the one who was sending googly eyes to Jaehyun earlier. Setting that fact aside, you calmly asked her for the most popular set menu. Whatever left her mouth, you couldn’t focus because all you could think about was how she had her eyes all over Jaehyun. Oblivious to this, your unsuspecting friend continued to read the menu. When the buzzing stopped, you realized that you had no idea what she had said, so you naturally asked your unaware friend if the set sounded appealing.

   He looked up from the menu and nodded. “Sounds good to me.”

   The waitress smiled widely. “Okay, then I’ll be back with your orders. If there’s anything else you need, anything, just call me over.”

   You handed her your menu, which she took by the far corner, but when Jaehyun extended his, she deliberately let her hands graze over his soft, slender fingers before leaving the scene. You examined your friend’s expression, and it was not good. He was visibly uncomfortable with the interaction.

   “So,” you started, grabbing his attention, “how was today for a surprise?”

   ...

   The interaction with the waitress definitely put you in for a chaotic spin in your head, but you didn’t want your messy thoughts to spoil dinner. Jaehyun, although affected at first, eventually forgot about it. The both of you shared a good meal with random conversational topics, sharing upcoming projects and reminiscing about a few memories.

   When you were done with your dishes, the waitress returned, and something was different about her. Was it her face? No. Her clothes? Maybe. If people consider busting an extra button open as changing the appearance, then, yes, that was the change. She was clearly drooling over Jaehyun, her eyes full of lust. When she asked, “Can I interest you with our dessert menu?”, she made sure to make eye contact with Jaehyun, biting her lower lip. Your genius friend, however, simply cocked his head sideways at you, asking you for your thoughts.

   “Very classy,” you said, over pronouncing “classy” to make sure he got your intention. “Very classy dessert, don’t you think?”

   He shook his head, distaste apparent in his eyes. “No.”

   Although there was jealousy stirring inside of you, you kept your cool and put up an act, deciding to make it seem like you were stifling your laughter.

   “Fine, we’ll take the cherry cupcake surprise,” you said, directing your comment to the waitress, who took one final look at Jaehyun before strutting away.

   Watching her walk away, you commented, “Wow, I did not know that this was a dinner and a show type of restaurant.”

   You turned your attention to Jaehyun, who was shooting you a dirty look your way. You wiggled your eyebrows suggestively.

   “Looks like somebody has the hots for you.” You smirked at him, but he simply sighed. “I see someone’s tired of being Mr. Popular.”

   He shook his head at you. “You know I’m not interested.”

   “Yes, yes, I know. She’s not even your type.”

   To that, Jaehyun raised an eyebrow. “I have a type?”

   “Everyone has a type.”

   You took your glass of water in your hands and swirled it around.

   “Do you have a type?” he asked.

   Staring at the disturbance you created, you answered, “Sure, I just don’t know it yet.”

   When you heard him click his tongue, you looked up from your glass and scrunched your nose.

   “Hey, I’m sorry that I haven’t dated as many people as you have,” you said, sarcasm dripping in your voice.

   With curiosity taking over his face, he asked, “When was the last time you went out on a date?”

   “Oh, I don’t keep track.”

   Jaehyun was transparently amused at your vague response.“It’s been that long?”

   “Excuse me for trying to find the right guy,” you scoffed.  

   “So,” he said, leaning forward with anticipation, “what do you think my type is?”

   You promptly answered, “Someone who’s willing to craze over your obsession with wine.”

   Right away, Jaehyun leaned back in his chair. “I don’t understand why you have to hate wine.”

   “I don’t hate it,” you corrected him. “I would prefer water to it.”

   “That’s-”

   He stopped in mid-sentence when he spotted something, or rather someone.

   “Just wait until you try this wine.”

   In that moment, the waitress came back with your desserts, and for the first time, Jaehyun directed his speech at her.

   “We’ll have **** wine.”

   “Of course, I’ll be right back with your drink.”

   When he averted his gaze back to you, you gave him a knowing look.

   “But you gotta admit that she’s pretty hot.”

   And at that, he deadpanned, but he swiftly recovered, asking, “So what else am I looking for in a girl?”

   You handed him a clean fork, which he took, and his fingers brushed past yours ever so slightly, leaving you with a tingling sensation. You took your own fork and split the cherry cupcake in half, giving Jaehyun the side with the cherry; you didn’t enjoy cherries as much as he did.

   Suppressing your growing feelings, you finally answered his question. “You seem to go out with girls who are pretty outgoing, which surprises me.”

   “And why is that?” he queried, taking a bite of his half of the cupcake.

    You shrugged. “You’re calm and collected at most times, and I say most times because that five percent you aren’t, no one can contain you.”

   Licking the remaining frosting on his lips, he pointed at the cupcake and said, “Now that’s a good cupcake.”

   You took the time to let the flavors of the dessert melt on your tongue before ultimately agreeing with Jaehyun.

   “And that wasn’t even a recommended dessert,” you remarked, proud of your choice of order.

    Jaehyun playfully applauded for you. “I commend you for that.”

   “Oh and by the way,” you spoke, continuing your thoughts about his type. “You have this thing with girls with long hair. Do you know that it’s a pain to maintain long hair? We lose hair because of the weight of it.”

   “I’ll do my best to keep the range diverse,” Jaehyun noted, laughing.

   “I’m not kidding. Jae.”

   “Then why do you have long hair?” he fired with amusement in his eyes, pointing out the irony.

   “I-”

   Just then, the infatuated waitress interrupted you, approaching you and Jaehyun with a bottle of wine and two additional wine-tasting glasses.

   “Here is your bottle of **** wine,” she announced a little breathless.

   You offered a small smile, but her attention was all on Jaehyun. She purposefully set the glassware in front of him and opened the bottle of wine with a small but audible grunt. You had no idea if that was intentionally supposed to be a grunt or if it was supposed to sound more sensual. Either way, it was incomparable to what she did next.

   While she moved on from one glass to the other, the waitress “accidentally” tipped over one of them in the direction of Jaehyun. Your unfortunate friend immediately grimaced, and the waiter, at once, set down the bottle of wine down on the table and rushed to his side.

   “I am so sorry,” she gasped, touching his arms. “I am such a clutz.”

   While Jaehyun reassured her that he was fine through his gritted teeth, you quickly reached for the pile napkins at the edge of the table and tossed them to Jaehyun. He slid his chair backwards to dab the moist parts of his outfit, but the waitress had other plans. She snatched the napkins from the empty table next to yours and tried to help your soaked friend by reaching down to his chest. Jaehyun responded with quick reflexes and shot up from his seat.

   The waitress met his eyes with the most seductive look she could display. “Let me help.”

   Jaehyun, however, wasn’t pleased. Ignoring his unwavering gaze, she attempted to “help” again, but this time she aimed for his pants. To this, Jaehyun instantly grabbed her by her wrist.

   “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” he snapped.

   Round two of an approaching shut out mode.

   The waitress flinched under the pressure of his hands, and when she saw his dark, fuming eyes, she immediately diverted her eyes. He released her wrists roughly, his gaze unchanging, and took you, the silent bystander, by the hands.

   “Jae, what are you-”

   Jaehyun didn’t let you finish your sentence as he pulled you out of the restaurant while you tried not to meet the stares of strangers. He stormed past the hostess that had welcomed you and pushed the doors open with such force that it felt like winter. The next thing you knew, you were heading towards a park.

   “Jae,” you called, trying to listen to you. “Jae, stop.”

   But he kept going.

   “Jae, we can’t just leave the restaurant like that,” you reasoned. “You do realize we have to pay..."

   Your voice trailed off when he slowed down and turned around. He looked at you dead in the eye.

   You gulped. “Look, I know what she did was wrong, but-”

   “She clearly has no moral conscience!” he yelled, causing you to wince.

   He was definitely outraged and there was going to be no easy way to calm him down other than listening to him.

   “She was clearly trying to seduce a customer,” he went on angrily. “I was clearly not comfortable. Did I or did I not look uncomfortable?”

   “You gave her clear signs, Jae,” you responded as calmly as you could. “And it was totally wrong of her to ignore them.”

   “And what’s more is that you didn’t seem to care.”

   That was a sudden splash in the face. Didn’t care? Of course you cared! How could you not care?

   “Jae, I did care,” you tried to explain, your hands flailing around in the process. “And I’m sorry I didn’t do anything to prevent her actions when you were visibly uncomfortable, but understand that I care.”

   The fire in his eyes did not cease.

   “Because you’re my friend,” he said.

   “Of course, I-”

   “And nothing more.”

   That slapped you hard. It was true that you were his friend, but to hear him expose the one thing you tried so hard to bury hurt.

   With a pained expression written all over your face, you pleaded, “Jae, what are you trying to say? Of course I’m your friend, but the problem is that the waitress back there was extremely inappropriate.”

   “I’m mad at the waitress, but I’m more frustrated that you can’t seem to take a hint!”

   Your eyes frantically bounced back and forth between his infuriated eyes that drilled into yours. Was he seriously angry at you? For what? You had arguments in the past, but you always knew where those conflicts rooted. This, however, was not one of them. Nothing could register properly in your brain with that look he was giving you.

   “Jae, are you mad at me?” you asked quietly.

   The feeling of fear crept up behind you, the fear that he was mad at you and for an unknown reason at that. Having to deal with an outburst due to pure emotions was one thing. To have a close friend genuinely mad at you was another. Your hands began to tremble as you brought them to your chest.

   “I-I didn’t mean to anger you,” you stammered, your voice breaking and lips slightly quivering. “I genuinely didn’t mean ignore the problem.”

   Seeing your frightened state, Jaehyun’s eyes softened, and he took your hands in his.

   “I’m not mad at you,” he said, shaking his head. “I’m really not mad.”

   When you couldn't calm down, he pulled you into a hug, his hands brushing through your rough hair.

   “I’m sorry,” he mumbled as his face nestled against your neck. “I’m really not mad at you.”

   “Okay,” you whispered, letting your arms slowly wrap around his torso. “I believe you.”

   You two stayed in that position for a few long seconds before he broke away from your embrace, searching your face for any upset feelings until his brown eyes locked with your darker ones. His strong, yet delicate hands reached your face, his thumbs stroking your cheeks. Your bodies were nearly one. The expression that his eyes revealed was one that you couldn’t read. All you knew was that they were soft but passionate--loving, almost.

   “I’m not mad at you,” he repeated softly.

   “I believe you,” you said again.

   You watched him take a deep breath before saying, “I’m in love with you.”

   A gust of wind rushed past your protected face, but the same couldn’t be said the same for your heart. It was thumping rapidly, faster than when you ran the mile for your gym class several years ago. For months--years, even--you had been sharpening your defense mechanism to cope with your love-struck feelings. You developed this unhealthy system to prevent the destruction of your relationship with Jaehyun, yet there your best friend and crush was, confessing his attachment to you. In an instant, whatever you built washed away.

   “Do you know why everyone had a hard time trusting me?” he spoke, his eyes surveying yours. “Because they all knew that my heart was taken by someone else.”

   You already knew the answer judging by the look in his eyes, but you wanted him to confirm it again.

   “Who?” you whispered, the corners of your lips tugging upward.

   A genuine smile appeared on his lips as he breathed, “You’re an idiot.”

   It was your turn to smile like an idiot. Your smile grew so big that it started to hurt. Jaehyun leaned down and lightly pressed his plump, smooth lips against your forehead, his hands still cupping your face.

   All these years being friends with Jaehyun had you learn one thing: you never really got over him. Whatever you previously thought about not wanting to risk your friendship with him was gone. When you lost yourself in his gorgeous eyes, you knew that you weren’t going to let go of that chance.  

   “I love you too, Jae,” you said with the brightest smile that had ever appeared on your face.

   It candidly was the best way to end the day and a secret fight that you and Jaehyun had both been struggling with--a fight for each other.

[hi-hey-haechan]

@yoonculture requested, “Hi can you do 21+83 for Jeno ? Thanks !” (It was also requested with a degradation kink).

Thank you for requesting!

Prompt list is here

21: “The first one too make noise, loses”

83: “That’s probably the fastest I’ve ever done that”

Warnings: unprotected sex, mild degradation

Watching a movie at the dorms with the boys was a bad idea, simply because of the situation you and your boyfriend were currently in. For the record, Jeno had started it.

The situation was practically setting this up. You and Jeno, sitting next to each other on the couch, both of you under a blanket? Did they expect you to just sit there innocently?

It had begun with innocent cuddling, and the movie had also started that way. His arm was around you, keeping you warm and making you feel loved and safe. You rested your head on his shoulder, unable to contain a smile.

Innocent. Until he removed his arm from your shoulders and placed his hand on your thigh. You didn't think much of it at first, though you missed his arms around you. From the beginning, Jeno was not engaged in the film. His fingers applied pressure to your leg, lightly squeezing your thigh. Your face grew flushed as his intentions became more clear. He slid his hand up your leg, continuing to rub and squeeze the flesh of your thigh.

When you glanced at him, you were met with his eyes, and him biting his lip. Damn, that was hot--

“The movie’s right there, Jeno,” you told him quietly, slightly amused at how intently he was staring at you.

“I really don’t feel like watching a movie right now,” Jeno whispered in your ear. His hair tickled the skin of your cheek and jaw as his head was close to yours. The deep, richness in his voice admittedly was beginning to do things to you, causing you to feel some type of way.

You decided to tease him a bit, acting oblivious to his obvious intentions. “Oh, yeah? What would you rather be doing? Since your hands were under the blanket, unseen, you placed a hand on the bulge in his jeans. You were surprised, for you hadn’t even touched him or done anything to turn him on, yet here he was, needy, already hard.

“You.”

Your eyes widened at his bluntness, but the idea of him pounding into you in one of the bedrooms, making you feel so good that the other members could hear your sounds of pleasure, was honestly such a turn-on at that moment.

Jeno and you didn’t even make your departure known. The others would know that any lie you could come up with would be false. You and Jeno going into a bedroom? Alone? Seriously, what other believable explanation could you think of?

As soon as you two entered the room, Jeno closed the door, locked it, and decided to pin you up against it. His strong, lithe body against yours only increased your arousal. When he his warm, soft lips met yours with a surprising force, you were taken aback for a second, not expecting him to begin this as roughly as he was. However, it wasn’t as though you were complaining. His hands slid under your shirt, grasping your waist. It wasn’t long before both of your shirts were off, and Jeno’s hot mouth trailed wet, open-mouthed kisses down the expanse of your neck. He was craving you, and you found yourself completely under his control. Just a small touch was enough to get you riled up any further, at this point.

When he bit down on your neck, his lips suctioning to a certain spot, your fingers grasped onto his shoulders a bit more. “Jeno,” you sighed, “don’t stop.”

“Babygirl,” he gave you a half-smile, worse than a smirk, since you could see the power you knew he had over you. “Why don’t we make this interesting, hm? The first one to make noise, loses.”

“Okay, and what does the loser have to do?”

His eyes were lust-filled when they locked with yours. His voice was low and deep as he said, “Let’s just say that the loser will...they’ll have to explain to the boys what happened, if they ask.”

How funny, how he seemed to have thought it was going to be you who’d lose. Even still, you weren’t exactly quiet when you two had sex, but it wasn’t your fault how good Jeno made you feel. It wasn’t long before you both were completely bare, and your clothes were now haphazardly strewn across the room. The lack of patience between you two in that moment was imminent.

When his fingers met your core, a gasp almost slipped out of your lips, due to the shock of the sensation. Instead, you bit your lip, trying to stay quiet. Jeno slipped one of his long fingers inside of you. Your hands had once been on Jeno’s shoulders, but they were now balled up into the sheets, as though grasping onto something like that for dear life was going to prevent you from moaning out loud.

His fingers made squelching noises inside of you, showing the both of you how wet you already were for him. “My dirty babygirl,” Jeno hissed into your ear, “Look at you, so wet, just due to me rubbing your thigh. Or was it because you were in front of the members while I was doing that?” His words went directly to your core. Whenever Jeno degraded you in a situation, his deep voice saying such sinful words managed to do things to you. “Answer me, slut,” he hissed sexily.

“It was both,” you gasped out, realizing how you were holding your breath. Your hands made contact with Jeno’s strong, veiny arm, attempting to pull his fingers out of you. Him fingering you like this wasn’t fair, if you were both supposed to try not to moan.

“You wanted the boys to see what I was doing, huh? You wanted them to see you be a whimpering mess, just at the expense of my fingers? If you want them to know how much of a slut you are for my cock, you can just moan now. It’s easier, isn’t it? Because I’m NOT gonna make this easy on you.” His slight degradation only increased your arousal. You weren’t gonna lose this challenge. Then again, Jeno was competitive, and he wouldn’t be easy competition.

He entered you harshly, pushing himself in all at once. His member stretched you out perfectly, creating a mix of pain and pleasure. You bit down on your lip, a whine stuck in the back of your throat.

This wasn’t easy for Jeno, either. He was pounding into you rapidly, feeling your wet, velvety walls engulf his entire member, clenching around it so tightly. He’d pull out before slamming back in, creating the steady sound of skin slapping against skin. No moans filled the room.

His large size filled you up so perfectly, harshly pressing against every spot inside of you. You were in heaven, feeling as though you were flying, lost in the pleasure. Your legs wrapped around his waist, granting him a new angle as he thrusted even more deeply.

When his tip found your g-spot, hitting it straight on, you screwed your eyes shut, clenching your jaw to stifle a scream. It was a sharp, powerful jolt of pleasure, almost forcing you to cry out. He was fucking you so hard, so powerfully and quickly, to the point where you were in heaven. If your fingers ached from clutching the bedsheets, you couldn’t tell, for your entire body was filled with adrenaline. It felt so good, so impossibly amazing, and the fact that you couldn’t moan out his name was killing you. You just held your breath, positive you were red in the face.

Jeno’s eyes were screwed shut, clenching his teeth as he held back his groans. Your clenching walls sent him flying in physical euphoria, but he had made up the horrible challenge of remaining completely silent. When he opened his eyes to look at you, he noticed the tears running down your face.

You weren’t gonna last long. Usually, you and Jeno weren’t too sensitive, and it took awhile to bring you to your edge. However, his roughness was present, and it was sending you to Cloud 9. The tears running down your face were out of pleasure; he was really fucking you that good.

The knot in your stomach barely even had time to make itself known to your consciousness. Your back arched off the bed, toes, curling, and now your fingernails were scratching his back, trying to find support as you climaxed hard. “Jeno!” you practically screamed, unable to hold back a second longer. Your walls caved in around him, clenching so tightly to the point where he bit his lip so hard, he feared it would draw blood.

“I-it’s too much!” you sobbed out, helpless under him as he continued to pound into you, overstimulating you.

“You’re gonna be my cumslut and take every single drop of my cum.” It was a quickly said sentence, and you knew that he was struggling to hold back his moans.

You had given up awhile ago, and instead let your cries of pleasure loose into the air, unconsciously bringing him closer to the edge.

When he climaxed, painting your walls with his seed, a few harsh groans left his mouth and they were louder than they usually were. You felt so incredibly full, and your chest heaved as Jeno’s hips came to a stop.

“That’s probably the fastest I’ve ever done that,” you panted, still in awe of how perfect that was.

“Done what? Cum?”

“Yeah, damn. That was perfect, and I was literally crying from how good I felt. The fact that I couldn’t open my mouth and moan or even sigh was killing me. When I came, I couldn’t hold those moans back.”

“Neither could I,” Jeno admitted. “I’m pretty sure they heard us.” A fatigued laugh escaped his lips, warming your heart as you hugged your boyfriend.

Admittedly, you didn’t mind the fact that the boys heard you. Maybe it would send a message that the movie sucked. Also, you really couldn’t regret anything about what had just happened.

“You guys couldn’t keep your hands off of each other for two hours?” Chenle asked as you both quietly walked back into the movie room. They were all staring at you, shocked by what they had heard, which they really hadn’t expected.

“Hey, don’t blame me,” you said, putting your hands up, “Jeno started it. He put his hand on my thigh and practically told me, ‘I’m horny. Let’s go into the nearest room with a lock.’”

“Oh, shut up, you didn’t regret it. In fact, you enjoyed it. I’m sure the boys could hear it,” Jeno pointed out.

“Were you even trying to be quiet?” Renjun rolled his eyes. We were trying to watch the movie, but instead, we had to listen to that.”

You and Jeno just looked at each other, before the two of you burst out laughing. They had no idea.

[thesassenachswiftie]

Lover - Chapter 13: “Soon You’ll Get Better”

Read on AO3

Chapter 1 // Chapter 2 // Chapter 3 // Chapter 4 // Chapter 5 // Chapter 6 // Chapter 7 // Chapter 8 // Chapter 9 // Chapter 10 // Chapter 11 // Chapter 12

Summary: Claire and Jo go Christmas shopping; Claire gets a call at work that Lamb’s in the hospital in Boston where she fears she will need to spend the holidays without Jamie. In short: angst, but make it festive.

" This won't go back to normal, if it ever was It's been years of hoping, and I keep saying it because 'Cause I have to

Ooh-ah, you'll get better..."

CW: cancer, hospitals, illness of a loved one,

Notes: First of all, if you’re still here, thank you for reading, and thank you for bearing with me as I took a small hiatus. Hopefully I will be getting back to a more regular posting schedule, but work is really draining right now and it’s hard to find enough hours in the day to do everything. 

As you know, each Chapter of this fic is based off a Taylor Swift song by the same name. This one was particularly difficult to write/approach because I actually haven’t listened to this song in over a year. In early Summer 2019, a tumor was found on my grandfather’s brain. This was also the summer I discovered Outlander, and the summer Taylor Swift released Lover. The day after Lover came out, I broke down sobbing in my apartment listening to this song and thinking about my grandfather, knowing his condition was worsening. That night, I recieved the call that my grandfather had passed. He was the kindest, purest soul and I write this chapter in part as a tribute to him. Many of the experiences Claire and Lamb share are based on my own experiences with my grandpa that summer, and this version of Lamb is very much based on my Grandpa Jim. 

That being said, you may want to grab a box of tissues before reading, but hopefully not all your tears will be sad. I’m hoping to post again before Chistmas, but in case I don’t Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays--and Happy Hanukkah to any Jewish readers I may have--here is a Hanukkah present for you!

 Chapter 13: “Soon You’ll Get Better”  

         “All I want for Christmas is yooouuuuu” the sounds of Mariah Carey rang out throughout the small boutique gift shop in the heart of the village of Northport.

           “Good God, we’re only a week into December and I swear I’ve already heard this song three hundred times. I’m not exaggerating either. Two hundred and eight-four at the very least.” Jo scoffed exasperatedly.

           “Are you complaining?” Claire asked in reply. “It’s a great song--a classic really.”

           “Do you know how many incredible, amazing, beautiful, jolly Christmas songs there are in existence?” Jo was gearing up for one of their famous rants, “Yet, the radio stations only ever play the same eighteen songs, I swear!”

           “It must be more than eighteen.”

           “Fine. Twenty. Take this song for instance: Ingrid Michaelson has the most hauntingly beautiful cover of it--do you ever hear it? No! You only ever hear Mariah!”

           “I, for one, like Mariah!” Claire interjected, playfully defensive.

           “Who doesn’t? But she’s not the only powerhouse female vocalist out there! I’d just like to see a little diversity in my holiday music, is that so much to ask?”

           Claire giggled. Her best friend always had an opinion on everything and she loved them all the more for it. “Do you think Jenny would like this candle?” Claire unscrewed the lid a locally-made jar candle, taking a sniff before placing it under Jo’s nose. It smelled like Lavender and Sage with just a hint of Eucalyptus.

           “Does Jenny keep a lot of candles around, with all those children?” Jo chuckled back. “It does smell nice though.” Jo had only met Jenny a couple times when visiting Claire, but they had a knack for reading people and Claire was glad to have them along as a shopping partner.

           “I suppose candles aren’t really her thing. Jenny seems very practical, but I don’t know what she would need that she doesn’t already have, and Jamie’s been no help!”

           “I think you’re on the right track with the self-care/relaxation vibe, but maybe not something the children can use to burn the house down. What about an artisanal lotion set?” Jo inquired, gesturing at a nearby display.

           “Oh that might work!” Claire took a squirt from the bottle labeled ‘tester’ inhaling deeply as she rubbed it between her palms. “Ooo that’s nice, I would appreciate this if I were a hardworking mother.”

           “If things keep going the way they are with your man, LJ, you might just be before you know it” Jo made a lewd gesture with their hands, raising their eyebrows to make it clear exactly what they were implying.

           “Jo! You’re terrible” Claire shrieked, smacking her friend playfully on the arm. Besides, not much of that happening these days if you haven’t noticed, Jamie is literally across the ocean.”

           “Well, at least you can’t get knocked up from phone sex,” Jo replied. “What are you getting him anyway? I’m thinking something lacy and strappy, with little bows on it of course, to be festive. There’s a place down the street that might have something like that.”

           “Hmm” Claire exhaled. “We’ll see.” Claire knew lingerie was definitely going to be part of Jamie’s Christmas gift, one she would be most excited for him to unwrap. God, she missed him. It had been over a month and they were settling into a routine, video chatting every night, sweet texts back and forth throughout the day, the occasional phone sex when they were both sick with desire for one other--but nothing was the same as the feel of their bodies pressed against each other in the heat of the moment, chasing each other’s climax. Claire couldn’t wait to be reunited with him in every way.

           It was two days before Christmas break, only a few days left until Claire would find freedom for the next ten days and, most of all--the comfort of Jamie’s arms. Claire was sitting in her school nurse’s office, inhaling deeply during the first quiet moments she’d had all week. There was an uptick of student visits in the past couple weeks--a few were legitimate concerns tied to cold and flu season: students whose parents sent them to school when they weren’t quite well enough, overachievers who wanted to maintain their perfect attendance dragging themselves to school despite their bodies protestations. Most of her patients however, were suffering from something much more insidious: the eagerness to start their winter break early by skipping their classes. This time of year the air of the school felt different, students and teachers alike were burnt out, apathetic, and ready for a break. This attitude in the students fed into the teachers’ attitudes--overworked with the end of the marking period, trying to squeeze in Christmas shopping and decorating between grading. Claire did not envy Jo nor any of the other teachers during this time, but their exhaustion was so palpable in the air of the school that she was starting to feel it too. By tomorrow, most teachers would be shutting their doors and playing a holiday film, giving up on instruction all together--hopefully that would make for a quiet day for Claire. Really, if she could just get through the rest of the day it would be smooth sailing until Christmas--until Jamie.

           Her silent musings were broken by the blaring sound of her office phone. She was expecting a teacher, calling to send a student down, but instead it was the school clerk, Glenda. “Hi Nurse Beauchamp, we have an outside call for you, it seems like it may be a personal call so if there’s any students with you we can send someone down to watch them if you’d like to take it privately here in the office.”

           Claire's heart sank to her stomach. What could it be? She took a deep breath and swallowed to brace herself before replying “last student just left.”

           “Alright, I’ll transfer you now.” The click of the call transferring sounded through the phone.

           “Hello, this is Miss Beauchamp”

           “Hello Miss Beauchamp, I’m Tammy, a nurse at Mass General we’re calling because you’re listed as the emergency contact for Quentin Beauchamp” a nasally voice croaked through the phone speaker--the voice was impersonal like that of a cashier saying “have a nice day” for the thousandth time, not fitting of a potential harbinger of death.

           “Yes…” Claire replied, nervously, questioningly.

           “Mr. Lambert was admitted this morning after showing signs of cognitive distress. An initial cat scan shows a mass on his brain. He’s currently undergoing testing to see if it’s cancerous.”

           Claire’s lungs felt like they were about to collapse. Lamb had been diagnosed with prostate cancer several years ago, but had been able to live with it through treatment. Claire also knew that cancer was insidious and could spread throughout the body rapidly and without warning. She knew it was very likely that the mass was cancer. She tried to find her medical professional voice, but a diagnosis was different when it was someone you loved. Instead, she croaked out, “when will you know?”

           “We should have the results by tomorrow. He’ll stay here overnight for monitoring and we’ll decide whether to admit him long term from there.”

           “I’m on Long Island, should I drive up?”

           “I’m afraid it’s too soon to tell, it could be nothing, but--” Claire cut her off, knowing exactly how bad it could be.

           “I understand. I’ll drive up this evening.”

           “Alright, he should be back in his room by then, he’s out getting his tests done now. It’s room 713 when you get here.” Claire wrote the number on a bright blue sticky note on her desk as the nurse spoke. “Have a nice day Ms. Beauchamp”

           “Hmm” was all she could reply, as if she could possibly have a nice day. She hung up the phone, and finally let the deluge of tears she’d been holding back free.

She allowed herself to cry for a few minutes to get it out, but she knew she had to get to Boston as soon as possible. She picked up the phone again and dialed the main office.

“Hi Glenda, it’s Claire. I need to take the rest of the day off--I have to go to Boston, my uncle…” she couldn’t say it out loud for fear of unleashing the tears again “Is Principal Gowan there, I need to let him know.”

“Oh Nurse Beauchamp, I’m so sorry to hear that, let me know if you need anything. Mr. Gowan’s in his office, I’ll transfer you to him now, if he doesn’t answer just pack up your things and go, I’ll take care of it”

“Thanks Glenda, I really appreciate it”

----------

           After getting the ok from her kind and understanding principal, Claire rushed back to Jamie’s apartment, hastily packed a bag (likely forgetting several things), informed Jenny where she was going--which was met with sympathy and genuine concern--and hopped back in the car for the journey to Boston. She entered the hospital doors several hours later, the buttons of her coat were tangled in her hair as she rushed, breathless, to the front desk to receive her visitor’s pass.

           When she arrived at Lamb’s room, he was asleep. She didn’t want to wake him, but she gave his hand a reassuring squeeze to let him know she was there before settling into the armchair beside him to await his awakening. He looked so frail and small in the hospital bed, not at all like the strong, spirited man who had raised her. He had left the television on--some sports channel was playing a highlight reel of various golfing moments. No wonder Lamb fell asleep. Claire was staring at the screen, but her thoughts were elsewhere: worried about Lamb, wondering if she’d remember everything when she hastily packed, wondering what the future held. Would she have to spend Christmas in this hospital room? A golf ball soared across the Scottish Highlands on the screen. Jamie. Jamie was coming home Christmas Eve, she was supposed to pick him up from the airport, supposed to spend her holiday break with him, experience her first Hogmanay with the Murray family, be surrounded by love and laughter and family. Lamb was supposed to be fine, he was supposed to take the train down, spend Christmas with them. Every plan they had made was shattered into a million pieces. Would she even be able to see Jamie? She thought about the presents she’d bought for him, not yet wrapped, piled in the closet but definitely not hidden, especially considering it was his apartment. Of course he’d understand--she could tell him where they were, but the magic of unwrapping would be lost, it would feel entirely unsentimental. It was bad enough that she felt her gifts weren’t sentimental enough--what could she possibly get him to show how special he was to her? How could she communicate that with an object? If she were a painter she would paint him a painting, if she were a songwriter she would write him a song, but she was simply Claire, and practical gifts were all she knew. She had purchased a cozy blue sweater to match his eyes and keep him warm in the brisk London winters, a cool multi-tool the size of a credit card that would fit in his wallet and help him solve a variety of problems, a protective case for his phone, and a box of artisanal beef jerky.  She had also procured a complicated piece of lingerie with a big red bow across the chest for him to unwrap the night of Christmas, which she knew he would enjoy. Everything was thoughtful enough and mostly practical, but she longed to be able to give him something truly special--a grand gesture to match her feelings for him. Claire glanced back at her uncle and immediately felt guilty being so selfish. I hate to make this all about me. Lamb always had a knack for helping her realize what was important when life’s situations overwhelmed her. She needed him for perspective, but how could she talk to him about this? How could she tell him how she felt? She knew it was wrong, but she was mad at him for getting sick so close to Christmas. Who am I supposed to talk to? What am I supposed to do if there’s no you? The tears were welling up in her eyes as she watched her most beloved uncle sleep--hooked up to machines, pale and listless in the hospital bed.

           Claire slipped into the adjoining bathroom to try to compose herself--she didn’t want her uncle to wake up and see her upset, she knew he would try to comfort her, to be the rock he always had been for her. She was here to be his rock this time, she needed to stay strong for him. She looked at herself in the mirror, telling herself it was going to be ok--her uncle was strong and he’d been fighting a long time--he’d continue to fight. Soon you’ll get better. She had to convince herself it was true, pretend it wasn’t real, it wasn’t so bad. She knew it was a delusion, she could see it all over her glass face when she looked in the mirror. She was genuinely afraid that this could be when she lost him, if not physically right away, he could be lost mentally. She’d been hoping for years he would get better, but now it seemed he’d taken a turn for the worse. She took a few deep breaths and offered up a prayer. She wasn’t usually religious, but they say desperate people find faith, so she decided it was time to try. God? Jesus? Whoever is up there. I know I don’t much deserve anything from you, I’m not sure I’m exactly on good terms with you, but I’m inclined to believe you care and you are good. Besides, I’m not really asking anything for myself, not really. I just pray my Uncle is ok, I pray he gets better. He has to. Please don’t take his brilliant mind away from him. Please let him be ok. Please, I’ll be good, I’ll do whatever it takes to help him. Just please, please, don’t take him away from me. I need him. Please let him get better. Please let him get better. Claire continued to repeat the words like a mantra as she returned to her bedside chair. She stared at the collection of orange bottles on the tray table. Please let them help him get better. Please let him get better. Please, please, please let him get better.

           Claire had no idea how long she sat there, repeating those words to herself, but her silent appeal was interrupted when a nurse entered the room to check her uncle’s vitals.

           “Hi, I’m Brenda, I’ll be the nurse on duty tonight.” Brenda erased a name on a small whiteboard in front of the room and replaced it with her own.

           “I’m Claire, I’m his niece.”

           Brenda had made her way over to the other side of the bed and was checking the monitors beside the bed, making notes on the chart in her hand. “I hate waking them up, but I’m going to have to.” Claire was glad that she was much kinder than the nurse she had spoken with on the phone earlier—had that really been earlier? It seemed much longer since that phone call. “Excuse me, Quentin? Sir?” Brenda gently nudged his arm to awaken him. Lamb’s eyes fluttered open and he looked disoriented, Claire watched him carefully hoping that his disorientation was solely from being awoken mid-sleep and not from any neurological damage.

           “Hi Uncle Lamb” Claire stammered, hoping she sounded cheerful anyway.

           “Claire! My girl! You came all the way to see your old uncle!”

           “Of course I did! How are you?” she replied warmly.

           “Oh, I’m fine, they’re taking good care of me here.” Lamb’s voice sounded genuinely content and Claire felt comforted for the first time since the hospital had called her earlier that day.

           “Hello sir, my name’s Brenda, I’ll be your nurse tonight. I just need to ask you a few questions and check your vitals.”

           “What is your name?”

           “Quentin Lambert Beauchamp”

           “Good. When is your birthday?

           “March 23th, 1939”

           “Good, and who is the president?”

           “Well, unfortunately…” both Claire and Brenda giggled at how Lamb began his sentence. Claire was well aware of Lamb’s opinions of the current president of the United States, and was glad to see he hadn’t lost his sly sense of humor or his disdain for the man.  She was also glad he knew who the president was, hopefully his mental capacities were more promising than the worst-case-scenario her mind was conjuring.

----------

           Claire stayed by her uncle’s side for the rest of the night, only leaving the room twice, once to find something to eat from a vending machine, and once for her nightly call to Jamie. She allowed herself to break down when talking to Jamie, sobbing over the phone. Jamie did his best to comfort her through the speaker, desperately wishing he could be there for her in person. Claire wished the same, longing to curl up in his strong embrace, and bury her swollen face in his chest. She couldn’t bring up the fact that she might have to spend Christmas in Boston. She was enough of a mess without facing the reality that they wouldn’t see each other, and when Jamie promised they’d see each other soon at the end of their call, Claire hung up quickly as another wave of emotion overtook her and she buried her face in her hands to cry some more.

           The next morning, the doctor came in with Lamb’s results. Claire grasped Lamb’s hand, unsure of who was holding onto whom for comfort as the doctor explained that the mass on Lamb’s brain was in fact cancerous, but it was still relatively small and had been caught early. He explained that they could operate on it and remove it, however there was no guarantee that it wouldn’t come back or that they’d be able to get it all out. It was moments like these where Claire desperately wished she was already a surgeon, that she could feel in control of the outcome--though could she operate on her own uncle? Would she be able to hold her hand steady enough to do a good job? No, perhaps it was best left to the veteran surgeons in Boston.

           After discussing all the details and options with the doctor’s, Lamb decided to go through with the surgery. It was scheduled for the day after Christmas and Claire resigned herself to the sobering fact that she’d be spending the holidays in the hospital. As the florescent hospital lights lit the room with an unnatural glow, Claire couldn’t tell him she was scared. She had to stay strong, she had to keep it together and remain positive and supportive.

           ----------

           Claire spent the next few days devoted to her uncle, rarely leaving his bedside. Lamb had forced her to spend the nights at his apartment, which was probably for the best. She wasn’t sleeping well to begin with and the recliner at the hospital was only making matters worse. Claire was present and doting on him from morning to night though, helping her uncle order his meals, assisting him when he needed to use the restroom, adding and removing pillows and blankets as needed, or anything else he needed or wanted. Lamb had been moved to the cancer floor, and the window of his new room had a nice view of the Boston skyline. Lamb was making the best of a bad deal, he bragged about his ‘luxury accommodations’, he cracked jokes often, he liked the nicer nurses, he ordered extra dessert with all his meals and was in generally pleasant spirits. Claire could see the cracks in his cognition though. Sometimes he would change the topic he was discussing mid-sentence, and he couldn’t seem to keep time straight. Whenever anyone would mention Christmas, he would act surprised to know that it was coming up, and at one point he hinted at Claire that she might just get those roller skates she wanted for Christmas, a gift she had not asked for since she was eleven years old. He didn’t seem to know what year it was or how old Claire was. He did know who Claire was though, and for that she was thankful. He also knew who the president was whenever the nurses asked, always beginning his answer with a short preamble to make known his disdain.

Before they knew it, it was Christmas Eve and Claire couldn’t hide the sadness she felt on her face. She was glad to spend the evening with Lamb, but she had been looking forward to her first big family Christmas. She had filled in Jamie about Lamb’s condition and her subsequent stay in Boston over the course of their phone calls that week. She had also describe the Christmas gifts she had purchased for the Murrays, Jo, and Lamb, so Jamie would know the rest were for him. Jamie had agreed to put the Murrays gifts in gift bags and distribute them for her. They were meant to exchange family gifts that evening, the morning being reserved for Santa, and Claire was heartbroken to be missing out. In a matter of hours, and for the first time in two months, her and Jamie would be on the same continent, yet they wouldn’t be able to see each other. There was no way Claire could get into the Christmas spirit under these conditions. The hospital, despite being modestly decorated, was not the most festive atmosphere. Even a troop of Girl Scouts caroling their way through the hospital halls did nothing to assuage the weight of losing everything Claire had been looking forward to for the past two months.

           “What’s a matter, my dear?” Lamb asked, showing genuine concern for his niece.

           “It’s nothing, I’m fine, I promise, I’m just wishing things were different today.”

           “Why today? Is it something special? I can’t seem to remember.”

           “It’s Christmas Eve. You were supposed to come to Long Island and meet Jamie. We were going to spend the holiday with his family.”

           “Yes, I remember, that’s today? Oh dear, I haven’t gotten your gift yet I’m afraid.”

           “That’s fine, Lamb, I’m afraid I left your gift at home, so we’ll have to do that part later. We can take a raincheck on gift exchanging. I was just really looking forward to you getting to know Jamie.”

           “I’m sure I’ll meet the lad soon; he seems really special to you.”

           “He is; I know you’ll like him.”

           “I already do.” He patted the top of her hand and turned his attention back to the sitcom on the television, providing humorous commentary to try to cheer Claire up.

----------

It was late Christmas morning. Uncle Lamb was napping again and Claire had switched the television to the Hallmark Channel--usually her guilty pleasure this season, today it was simply reminding her of how her Christmas was proving to be less than magical. For her there would be no Christmas kisses, no magical snowfall, no saving the small town family business or learning to love Christmas again. All that awaited her this Christmas were fluorescent lights, beeping monitors, and nurses visiting every 6 hours to check her uncle’s vitals. This Christmas would be decidedly the most un-magical she had ever experienced. She had had her share of unconventional Christmases in the past, in fact, she never really was a Christmas person, but it had started to feel special to her when she was living in New York. This Christmas though--this was one she was looking forward to more than ever before. Claire spent most of the morning crying, grieving over all she was missing. She should have spent the morning curled up in Jamie’s arms, watching the children open presents. She could picture the Murray’s living room, trashed with colorful wrapping paper from end to end, each child in their own private world fascinated by their latest favorite toy, Jenny and Ian beaming through tired eyes.

Claire was surprised Jamie hadn’t called her to fill her in on the details yet. He had called yesterday when his plane arrived--groggy and jet-lagged, his communication skills were not the most eloquent, but he tried his best to make her feel better. She hadn’t heard from him at all this morning though, not even a Merry Christmas text. Surely the jet lag would have woken him up as early as the children, and they must have been done opening presents by now. Claire tried to rationalize that Jamie was just spending time with his family, but she couldn’t help feeling hurt and ignored. She thought she was important enough to him that he could take a moment away from his family to at least text her, or to find some way to make her feel included from afar. Had his feelings changed in their months apart? Did coming home to a messy apartment turn him off? Did she find his Christmas gifts and come to think she didn’t care enough to get him something more thoughtful? She thought about calling him, but a mixture of pride and fear kept her from acting first, not to mention she couldn’t stop crying over these sappy Christmas movies.

Suddenly, a voice from the doorway rang through the room, “Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry Christmas!” Claire looked up in confusion, momentarily unable to comprehend her surroundings and the disruption that had just entered them. Santa? No. The tall figure filling the door frame was dressed like Santa, beard and all, but the unmistakable Scottish burr gave away his true identity. If Claire hadn’t already been crying, she certainly was now. Jamie was standing in the doorway, dressed in a Santa suit, carrying a large, blue IKEA bag overflowing with wrapped presents and what appeared to be Christmas decorations.

“What?” Claire could hardly believe he was there, she rose from the chair and the couple met in the middle of the room for a hearty embrace. Claire buried her face in the soft, fluffy suit covering Jamie’s chest, sobbing uncontrollably. Perhaps the setting wasn’t a snow covered street in a small town, but this was her own Hallmark movie moment--and to be honest, those Hallmark guys had nothing on James Alexander Malcolm Mackenzie Fraser. Jamie held her close, and tight, planting kisses in her curls and whispering softly to her.

“I’m here, mo nighean donn.” He caressed her shoulders with his thumbs, not releasing his embrace in the slightest, breathing in her scent, trying to absorb her fears and pain.

All of the commotion had awoken Uncle Lamb and after witnessing the couples’ embrace for longer than was comfortable, Lamb loudly cleared his throat to remind them of his presence in the room.

“Uncle Lamb!” Claire unfolded herself from Jamie’s embrace, keeping one arm around his back. Jamie sheepishly pulled the fake beard down around his neck to reveal his face and removed his Santa hat, clutching it tightly in the palm that wasn’t holding Claire. “This is Jamie, my Jamie. Jamie, this is my Uncle Lamb.”

“Well, I’m certainly glad it’s not Santa Claus, or we’d have a lot of explaining to do to the lad!” Lamb chuckled back.

“A pleasure to finally meet you, sir.” Jamie reluctantly released Claire from his grasp to step beside the bed, extending a firm but gentle hand to Lamb. “I’m sorry it’s not under better circumstances.”

“Pleased to meet you as well, lad” Lamb replied, patting Jamie’s hand with his before releasing their handshake. “And don’t you worry about me, I have the best nurse there is taking care of me.” Two sets of proudly smiling eyes met Claire across the room.

“Oh I dinna doubt it for a second. Your niece is a rare woman.”

“Glad to see we’re in agreement. Now what’s all that?” Lamb gestured towards the large tote discarded near Claire’s feet.

“Aye, I thought I’d bring you two a bit o’ holiday cheer.” Jamie pulled a large cardboard box from the bag and extracted a small tabletop Christmas tree from it, unfurling each branch carefully and placing it on the countertop across the room, plugging it in to reveal fiber optic lights changing colors dreamily. “I usually insist on my Christmas trees being more, well, alive, but under the circumstances this’ll have tae do.” Jamie and Claire spent the next half hour or so festooning the room in garlands and placing tiny ornaments on the small tree. Claire tried to ignore that more than half of the bag was filled with brightly wrapped gifts, not sure whether she was hoping they were all for her, or hoping that they weren’t. After all, she didn’t have anything to give him and she didn’t know if he had looked through his gifts yet nor if he had appreciated them.

While they decorated, Jamie filled Claire and Lamb in on the events of the last few days. Jamie had called Jenny to tell her not to bother picking him up from the airport. He had planned on renting a car there and driving straight to Boston. Claire could hear Jenny’s voice loud and clear through Jamie’s imitation “ya clotheid! Have ya gone daft? Yer barely able to form coherent sentences amidst the jet lag from yer Christmas Eve flight, and ya wanna drive five hours tae Boston in that state!?! Claire willna appreciate ya ending up in a ditch on the side of the road as a Christmas present ya eejit!” Jenny had made a fair point, and Jamie had agreed to sleep at home and left shortly after he awoke that morning, staying only long enough for the children to open their stockings, and to watch their faces alight with surprise at the sudden appearance of piles of presents under and around the tree.

“I’m glad you took Jenny’s advice, but most of all I’m glad you’re here.” She embraced him again. “You didn’t have to do this though, Jamie, I know how important your family is to you.”

Jamie stepped back and lifted Claire’s chin with his thumb, looking into her eyes. “You are important to me, Sassenach.” he replied, with a sincerity that penetrated Claire’s heart. Claire responded by kissing Jamie chastely on the cheek, knowing her uncle was only four feet away--politely trying to ignore them and watch the television which he had flipped to an all-day marathon of A Christmas Story on repeat. Jamie’s welcome intrusion broke up the monotony of hospital life and seemed to give Lamb a better sense of what day it was.

“Now that we’ve got the place looking good and festive, I believe it’s traditional to exchange gifts on Christmas day.”

“Jamie, it’s too much, I--”

“Oh? Thought they were all for you, didja Sassenach?” he teased. Claire blushed. Of course; she hadn’t really--but who else would they be for? Surely Jamie wouldn’t spoil Lamb, a complete stranger to him, quite so much, and no one else was there. She looked dumbfounded as she tried to come up with a defense but Jamie stopped her. “Dinna fash, Sassenach, Jenny wrapped your gifts for me and Lamb before I could see and I bought them along too. She thanks ya for the wee lotions, by the way.”

“God bless Jenny! That woman is a Saint.” Claire also silently thanked God that she had left the present she was planning on wearing for Jamie that evening in her dresser drawer, that was not a gift she wanted Jenny to see, and was definitely not something she wanted him to be opening in front of her uncle.

The three exchanged gifts, save Lamb, who had nothing to give but smiles and approval for the young couples’ thoughtful gifts. Jamie was genuinely appreciative of Claire’s gifts, although she kept insisting that she hadn’t finished shopping and there was more to come; to which Jamie humbly rejected, claiming it wasn’t necessary. Jamie’s gifts to Claire were thoughtful and meaningful, the most touching ones being a print of a painting of the rose garden he had ordered from the Botanic Garden’s gift shop and a bracelet engraved with the words perennis amor, which caused Claire to tear up and embrace him tenderly in spite of her uncle’s presence.

The three enjoyed the rest of the day thoroughly. A Christmas Story played in the background and they laughed and shared stories with one another. Jamie was a born storyteller and Lamb was elated to have a fresh audience to recount his many adventures to, so conversation flowed naturally between them, with Claire occasionally interjecting. Claire mostly just sat back and admired the two men who were most important to her, filled with joy that they were getting along, that Jamie was there, that it was Christmas. For the first time in several days she had hope and peace. She was surrounded by love in that hospital room as well. She had all the things Christmas was said to bring, and for that she was grateful. Jamie had made her greatest Christmas wishes come true without her even asking and she felt lucky to be alive.

The hospital staff served their version of Christmas dinner for the small family, and while Claire was sure it paled in comparison to whatever Jenny had made, it was quite delicious, especially considering it was hospital food. Jamie ate in the armchair next to Lamb at Claire’s insistence, since the two were deep in conversation, and Claire sat in the chair on the other side of Jamie, taking in her magical Christmas scene, better than any Hallmark movie could depict.

After dinner, Jamie was fading fast, listening to one of Lamb’s stories with heavy eyes.  She took one of the spare blankets and covered Jamie. “Looks like you’re still not over your jet lag”

“Hrmmphh, I ‘spose not.”

“Do you want me to go get you a coffee? I doubt the cafe downstairs is open today, but there’s a cappuccino vending machine a few floors down that isn’t terrible.”

“Aye Sassenach, that’d be bonny. If it’s not too much trouble.”

“None at all, my love, I’ll be back soon.” Claire squeezed his hand before leaving the two men alone.

Jamie listened to her footsteps down the hall, and waited until he heard the ding of the elevator before he cleared his throat to speak frankly to Lamb. He sat up straight in the chair to ward off the sleepiness, having a few important things he wanted to say before Claire came back.

“Lamb, I need you to know, Claire is the most important person in my life. I love her sae much and I’d do anything for her.”

“I’m glad to hear that, I can see how happy you make her. She lights up when you’re around, it comforts my old heart to see.”

“I need you tae know, I’m very serious about her. I ken we haven’t been together that long, but I know--I know deep in my wame that I’m meant tae be hers. I want ya to know that I intend on spending the rest of my life making her happy, and while I havna bought a ring or ennathing yet, I wanted to ask yer blessing” Jamie paused for a moment before adding, “just in case.”

“Of course you have my blessing, son. I couldn’t be more glad to know that Claire will be so well cared for after I’m gone, truly.” Both men looked somber, knowing full well that this could be their last conversation, hoping dearly that it wasn’t. Claire returned with three cappuccinos in hand, surprised by the mood in the room.

“Everything alright, gentlemen? Don’t tell me Ralphie shot his eye out!”

“Och! Everything’s fine, Claire! I’m just tired is all, I’m sure this wee cappuccino will cure me in no time!” replied Jamie, eagerly taking a cup from Claire as she set another on Lamb’s tray table. The rest of the evening was quiet as Jamie took a nap, while Lamb and Claire watched A Christmas Story more intently then they had all day. Claire didn’t want to leave him alone so early on Christmas so she let Jamie nap until Lamb was asleep soundly for the night. The sense of joy she had felt all day was still present, but the nagging worry she felt about Lamb’s coming surgery was starting to settle in as well. Claire woke Jamie gently and Claire whispered softly to Lamb that they’d return in the morning, squeezing his hand before the couple quietly left the room.

----------

They walked out to Jamie’s car, since he still had his stuff packed in it, but Claire drove them back to Lamb’s apartment where she’d been staying. The cappuccino was helping Jamie stay coherent, but he was in no state to drive. They were quiet on the drive home, but kept their hands locked between the seats, grateful just to be in the presence of one another.

When they arrived at Lamb’s apartment, Jamie was so tired, he didn’t even want to brush his teeth, let alone do any of his usual nightly routines. However, he had spent the morning sweating in a polyester Santa suit over his clothes, and although he took it off shortly after his surprise arrival, he felt in need of a shower. Claire showed him where the bathroom was and made sure he had everything he needed, and got herself ready for bed.

Jamie showered quickly, not bothering to wash his hair, and only cleaning the parts of his body where any stench would be most concentrated, figuring the water would take care of the rest. A few minutes later, he emerged from the bathroom with a towel around his waist, ready to collapse into bed, but not before embracing his sorcha. He scooped her into his embrace and she buried her face in his bare, firm chest, warm from the shower. He smelled clean, and fresh and most of like Jamie. “I’m so happy you’re with me, Jamie. You have no idea how much it means to me that you’re here.” the emotions of the day hit her again and her voice caught at the end of her sentence as tears filled her eyes once again. Jamie kissed her forehead softly, down to her nose, and landed on her lips, giving her the firm, passionate kiss they’d both been longing for all day--and for months before that.

“Mo cridhe.” Jamie breathed when they separated. “I’m here. I’ll always be here for you. I’ll no’ leave you alone when ya need me.”

“Oh Jamie” Claire was still crying, “I’ve been so worried. I’ve been trying to stay strong for Lamb, but I feel like this won’t go back to normal--if there ever was a normal with him. I’m scared he’s going to get worse, or--” her sentence dissolved into a fit of sobs, which she tried to stifle on Jamie’s shoulder.

“You don’t have to stay strong when you’re with me. I’ll be here to help you shoulder the burden. I’ll be here to soak up your tears. There’s two of us now, Claire.” He pressed a kiss into her curls. “You can feel your feelings now, mo cridhe. Lay your cares on me. Come now, let’s get ya tae bed. I’m no’ sure how much longer I can stand myself.”

Claire fell asleep wrapped safely in Jamie’s embrace, free to be herself fully. Free to be vulnerable she felt safe, she felt loved, she felt comfortable, and most new to her--she felt she had the hope and strength that she could carry on, no matter what was to come. She slept better than she had in weeks, secure in the embrace of her eternal love.

End Notes: Thanks again for reading!! By the way, the Ingrid Michaelson song Jo mentions is hauntingly beautiful and you should listen to it. Also, I hope you liked Jamie's surprise. This was going to be a lot more angsty of a chapter but Jamie refused to let Claire suffer and had other plans. I know this was full of a lot of emotional ups and downs, and hopefully we can all find some comfort in the fact that just because Christmas/the holidays may look different for a lot of us this year, it can still be special, and there's still light, joy, love, hope, and peace to be found in the midst of the darkness.

[amazingphanisnotonfire-imagines]

Luke//the very first moment i beheld you, my heart was irrevocably gone

Request: Can you do a Luke Hemmings x female reader one-shot? The reader is a British actress and was cast as Elizabeth Bennett in the movie Prejudice and Zombies instead of Lily James (I have nothing against her, it’s just that she needs to be removed from the one-shot in order for it to work) and her boyfriend Luke’s there when she and Sam Riley film Elizabeth and Darcy’s fight scene and they go out for lunch with Sam and his wife afterwards? The scene’s from the video on the YouTube channel Movieclips

hey! so i know that this scene wouldn’t have been filmed all in one shot, but i just thought it would be better if i wrote it like i did. i also know they probably didn’t do their own stunts (lie, lily james can do absolutely anything and everything) but well, i made it so you do! anyway. how’s everyone’s day? i hope they’re well! and i hope future me’s day is going well too! i also hope future you is good too! 

Your whole life you’d been dreaming of this. Everything you’ve ever done has been leading up to this moment. Your first feature film, before this you’d had small roles in a few cable shows and side characters in a couple of films, as well as playing the main character in some indie film a friend was doing, but this was your big break. 

The director and casting agents saw something in you, sent you the script and asked you to send them a tape. You’d done it at 10am, and found out you got the job at 2, so they were clearly very impressed. 

And when you told Luke he was even more impressed. You’d never seen him smile so wide and the two of you jumped up and down in excitement before you phoned all your friends and family. 

Two weeks later you were on a place back to England with Luke in tow so you could find a small flat to rent for the months you’d be rehearsing and filming. You were of course happy to be home, your house with Luke may be lovely and LA’s weather may be a lot better than Britains but it doesn’t stop the home sickness. However that’s what you were worried about with Luke, he hadn’t been in London for this long since he lived here with the band, so you were worried he’d end up bored and lonely. 

But to your surprise he was loving it. He was glad to be back and with you being away filming for most of the day it gave him the chance to do some song writing and to catch up with other hobbies he may have neglected since the success of the band. 

Today however, Luke had asked if he could tag along with you. He wanted to see you at work and watch you do what you loved. He said it was only fair because you’d been to all of his shows you could possibly go to, and for a while you were even on tour with him. So now it was his turn to return to the favour. 

Plus, he said he needed to see you in action in order to hype you up to everyone he spoke to. 

“Okay!” The director calls and the room goes silent.

You make eye contact with Luke and send him a thumbs up which makes him chuckle and shake his head. 

“Everyone ready? Good. And action.” 

“I’ve come to feel for you a most ardent admiration and regard, which has overcome my better judgement.” Sam starts, his head moves as if he’s trying to find the right words and you stare at him in, your lips pulled into a straight line and your eyebrows furrowed at his sudden declaration. 

Even when the camera’s not on you you need to act, it helps keep you in character, helps keep you in the moment, and most importantly it helps whoever you're acting alongside. If they see your reactions to the words they are saying, they can use that to better their own performance and that gives everyone the most authentic scenes possible. 

“So.” He takes a deep breath and gets down on one knee. You take a step back, a small gasp leaving your lips as you stare down at him. “Now I ask you most fervently to end my turmoil and consent to be my wife.” He asks and there’s a few seconds of silence while you look between him and the floor. 

“If I could feel gratitude, I would now thank you...” You start, your voice quiet. Hurt flashes through your eyes as you take a deep breath and say your next line. 

You have to admit, the way Sam is staring up at you, it does kind of feel like you’re turning down an actual marriage proposal, and if this is what it feels like when you’re just pretending, you hope you never have to do it in real life. 

“But I cannot.” You sigh, nodding your head just to get your point across. “I never desired your good opinion and you have certainly bestowed it most unwillingly.” 

Sam blinks and looks at the floor, not really sure what to say next. He stands, confusion thinly veiling the disappointment that’s written all over his face and you shift awkwardly. The fabric of your dress crinkling is the only thing that can be heard in the room as you smooth the skirt out, waiting for Sam to say his line. 

“Might I be informed why?” He huffs. “With so little, endeavour at civility, I have been rejected?” 

“You intentionally ruined the happiness of my my most beloved sister.” You reply, and tilt your head up to try and regain some sort of authority. “Do you deny it?” You ask and he lets out a short breath. 

“I have no wish to deny it.” He replies, bitterness lacing his tone and you raise an eyebrow at him. “I did everything in my power to separate my friend from your sister.” 

Your jaw tightens and you look him up and down, both of you have a silent conversation, just to make sure the other one’s ready, and then you kick him. He throws himself backwards, landing on the desk with a loud crash, a fake vase breaks under the weight and you shout. “How could you?” 

“Because I perceived his attachment to her to be far deeper that to hers to him.” He replies, narrowly avoiding the books you’re throwing at him. Of course you’re told to try and miss him on purpose, but it still is really fun to be able to throw things at someone and get paid for it. “I believed her to be indifferent.” 

“Indifferent?!” You gasp incredulity. “She’s shy!” You seethe and finish throwing the books. One of the smashes a window and Sam looks behind him concerned before looking back at you. 

You walk around the room, deep in thought and Sam watches you as you grab a fire poker from the fireplace. 

When rehearsing this part, you seemed to have a problem with waving it around too much. 

You think you get a bit too into it and each time you swung it around you always seemed to break something, so you’re hoping and praying that this time you won’t cause any property damage. 

The props department has already had to replace three vases and a clock because of you, so let’s hope you don’t break anything or anyone else. 

Sam gulps as you slowly make your way towards him and he takes a few steps backwards, looking incredibly nervous as his gaze moves from you and the stick. 

“Did you suggest to Mr Bingley that his fortune had some bearing on the matter?” You ask and he backs up towards the glass. Nothing you’re saying is threatening, but the way you’re brandishing your new weapon, you do look like you’re going to stab him. 

Luke watches on amazed, he’s never seen you like this before. This is you in your element, doing what you love to do and transporting yourself and the people around you back to a time where people wore corsets and zombies ran around. 

Luke knows people that when they step in front of a camera or onto a stage, they are just totally themselves. Whatever they’re doing, whether it’s singing, acting or dancing, it’s like a second nature to them. They know what they need to do, when they need to do and they don’t even have to think about it. 

But he’s never seen anything like this before. A part of him wonders if it’s just because he loves you, but then he realizes that everyone else watching you and Sam work together are also totally floored by how brilliantly the scene its going. How the two of you work together, the small glances and little touches, every little thing you do just adds to the scene and he’s never been prouder. 

“I wouldn’t do your sister the dishonour...though it was suggested.” He adds and you swing the poker over your head. He ducks, missing each attempted hit and you fall onto the table. He takes the opportunity to jump over it and when you turn around to try and regain your balance, he grabs your wrists and pins you to the table.  

“By Miss Bingley.” You ask furiously and his grip tightens. 

“By your mother, at the ball.” He replies and you shut up. He glances down and you stare at him annoyed, pushing him off you and swinging your weapon around. He misses each hit, just like you’ve practiced and you can’t wait to watch it back. 

“Your character was revealed to me many months ago by Wickham.” You say after each missed hit, and he wrestles you to the floor, making you drop your weapon. “As I heard of his scandalous misfortunes at your hand.” You spit and wrap your ankles around his neck, squeezing just a tiny bit. 

“Oh, yeah. Mr Wickham’s misfortunes have been very great indeed.” He struggles to speak and grabs on your legs, his hands shake so it looks like he’s struggling and when he’s finished you pull him forward just a little and pretend to punch him in the face, making him stumble backwards again. 

A chair smashes when he lands on it and you quickly stand up, grabbing the letter opener as you do. He rolls over and stands and the two of you stare at each other before you move forward. He blocks each attempt at a hit and the two of you move backwards and forwards. 

Fight scenes remind you of well rehearsed dance numbers. You move one way, they move the other. Each hit has to be choreographed to make it look real but remain safe and both of you have to know exactly what you’re doing otherwise it can end in disaster. 

“You withhold the advantages that you know were designed for him.” You slice the letter opener down his shirt, popping the buttons and he stares down at it, watching the small pieces fall to the ground. He looks back at you, letting down his guard and you swing your arms up to hit him in the face. He grabs them and pushes you into the door. 

“This is your opinion of me?” He asks, grabbing the poker of the floor and swinging it around a few times. “Then I thank you for explaining it so fully.” He slowly edges towards you and you do the same, giving each other untrustworthy looks. 

You lunge towards him, raising the blade and he narrowly avoids it, using one hand to grab yours while the other slices the top of your dress. The buttons pop and a part of it comes down, exposing the top of the corset below.

You both look down before you slowly raise your head to glare at him. He looks at you afterwards, and he glances at you, raising his eyebrow before you take a deep breath and spin kick him. 

He falls to the floor and you raise the blade above your head, an annoyed groan escapes your lips as you run towards him. He grabs your arms spinning the two of you around and you back hits the floor with a loud thud. 

You feel the air being knocked out of you for a split second Sam looks worried that he’s hurt you, but you send him and look and he seems to get the message. Get the job done and then ask if you’re alright. 

His hands pin your arms to the hard floor and he rests between your legs, the two of you panting and hot while staring at each other. 

“You could not have made the offer of your hand, in any possible way that would have tempted me to accept it.” You say through gritted teeth. “I had not known you a month, before I felt that you were the last man in the world whom I could ever be prevailed on to marry.” You finish and he lets go. 

You sit up, pointing the blade at his chest and he stares down at you, hurt flashing through his eyes. However the facade quickly comes back and he pulls his gaze away from you, his expression hardens as he stares straight ahead. 

“You’ve said quite enough, madam.” He forces himself to look at you. “I fully comprehend your feelings and now have only to be ashamed of what my own have been.” He stands and quickly walks away from you. 

He turns back around to watch you stand, his hands resting on his hips as he figures out the best way to end this. 

“Please forgive me and accept my best wishes for your health and happiness.” He bows and quickly leaves the room. 

You pull yourself up onto the chair, waiting for the sound of the door closing as your cue to start crying. The camera slowly zooms in on you, tears run down your cheeks and you let out a shaky breath.

“Cut!” The director calls and you look at him. 

“Did we get it?” You ask and Sam pokes his head back through the door, glancing between you and the crew. 

“Yeah, we got it. Good job guys!” He replies and everyone cheers. 

“You were brilliant!” You grin at Sam. 

“You did pretty well too.” He jogs over to you, his boots squeaking as he runs and you let out a small giggle. He reaches his hand out to you, helping you stand and leading you off set and towards Luke and Alexandra. 

“You’re such a gentleman.” You tease. “You’re very lucky Alex.” You smile and she laughs, rolling her eyes at her husband. 

“Yeah. Sure I am.” She replies and the three of you laugh, while Sam just glares at you. You pull a face at him and he huffs loudly at you. 

“Take lunch guys. Everyone needs to back by 2.” A producer tells you and you let out a pained breath. 

“Oh shit. Are you okay. You hit that floor pretty hard.” Sam asks and Luke’s eyes widen in concern. He’s stood in front of you instantly, gripping your arms and he looks you over. 

“Babe, are you okay?” He asks and you smile at his concern. 

“I’m fine. It wasn’t so bad, I think it’s just the corset making it feel worse. I’ll be fine when I take it off.” You reassure them and Sam nods slowly, not quite believing you. 

“Come on. I’ll take you back to your trailer.” Luke says and looks around to try and figure out where he’s supposed to be going. 

“You go out of the door, walk all the way down the corridor, take a left and then a right and then another right. Go through them doors and her trailer is the first one you’ll see.” Sam explains and Luke’s blinks at him. 

“I’m fine.” You laugh. “Come on. I can get there on my own. I’ve cracked a rib not my brain.” 

“You’ve crac-” 

“Joking.” You place a hand on his arm and he lets out a nervous breath. 

“Not funny.” He pouts and you pull the same expression. 

“Aww.” You pinch your cheek. “Come on.” You grab his hand and start pulling him away. “Oh, do you guys want to head out for lunch together?” You call over your shoulder. Sam and Alexandra look at each other before nodding, an eager smile twitching at their lips. 

“Yeah. Sounds great.” Sam replies. 

“Great. Swing by my trailer in like twenty minutes and we can get going.” 

“Okay!” He replies and you wave one last time before disappearing through the door. 

“So, what did you think?” You look up at Luke and he gives you a toothy grin. 

“That was amazing!” He exclaims. “You were so fucking good. How are you so badass. How did I get the most talented, pretty, smart and badass girlfriend in the world. You like destroyed him and you still gorgeous while doing it. How? I jump around on stage for a bit and by the time I get off I look like a sweaty giant. But you. You literally fake fight people and act and cry all in a massive dress and you still look like...like that.” He motions wildly and you look at the floor, heat creeping up your neck and spreading across your cheeks.  

“Did you really like it?” You ask one more time. 

“Yes!” He laughs. “If I wasn’t a singer, I definitely would be an actor.” 

“You could be both. Harry Styles acts.” You reply, pushing through yet another door. He stops in the doorway, and hums as he thinks about what you’ve just said. 

“Yeah.” He nods. “That’s very true. Hey!” He smiles brightly. “You never know. One day we could be in a movie together!” 

---

“Have I ever told you that you look really hot wielding a weapon.” Luke asks as he watches you shuffle out of the bathroom. Your dress is bunched around your waist while you slowly try and pry yourself out of the fabric. 

Luke stands behind you, undoing the buttons at the bottom of it and after he’s done the last one it falls to the ground. You stand in a corset and stockings, with your hair up in curls and look over your shoulder at him.

“No, you haven’t.” You blush. “But you can tell me if you want.” You wink and his own cheeks heat up once he realizes he’s been caught staring. 

“Well, you look very hot when wielding a weapon.” 

“Thank you.” You smile and step out of your dress. “Can you pick that up and just hang it on that please?” You point towards the hanger on the chair. He nods and you watch him carefully pick your dress up. 

“It’s not going to break you know.” You tease as you undo the top of your corset. 

“With my luck it will.” He mutters and you snort a laugh. 

“True.” You agree. 

“Would you like some help?” He asks after watching you struggle for a while. 

“Please.” You slump as best you can and a pout takes over your appearance. 

“I hope when I ask you to marry me you don’t have the same reaction.” He mumbles while fiddling the strings and buttons. 

“It depends how you ask me, and how much you’ve annoyed me that day.” You shrug and he pauses to give you a disapproving look. “Joking.” 

“Not funny.” 

“You always say that.” You frown. “But I think I’m hilarious.” 

“Yeah. You think you’re great.” He grumbles and pulls on a bit of fabric. “And done!” He cheers and let’s go. You turn around and look at him surprised. 

“How did you do that so quickly?” 

“I’m just that good.” He winks and you roll your eyes. 

“Sure you are.” You walk towards the bathroom and pat his shoulder. “Give me five minutes to get changed and then we can get lunch.” 

“Take all the time you want.” He replies. “I’m going to snoop while you’re gone.” 

“If you find my secret phone and pictures of my other boyfriend can you just put them back where you found them?” You tease and he looks at you amused. 

“Of course.” 

“Thanks.” You grin and push the door closed. 

---

“So how are you finding London?” Sam asks after swallowing the last of his lunch. 

“I love being back home!” You grin. “I’ve missed England’s shit weather so much. There’s nothing like a miserable day to really cheer you up.” 

“Are they pulling that corset a little too tight?” Alexandra teases making you giggle while sipping your water. 

“I think it’s just an English thing.” Luke replies, shaking his head playfully while staring at you. 

“I think it’s just a Y/n thing.” Sam replies and you send him a glare.

“Hey, LA weather isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. The rain can be good you know.” You argue. 

“Sure it can be.” He replies. “What about you Luke?” 

“It’s great! This is the longest I’ve stayed here in years and I love it. I’ve been seeing friends I have’t spoken to in years.” He talks enthusiastically and you watch him fondly as he waves his arms around. Sam and Alex share a look before looking back at him. 

“You guys are made for each other.” Alexandra smiles. “How did you two meet?” 

“Oh.” You giggle, a little embarrassed as you think of the story. 

“Ooo, you’re embarrassed. Tell us.” Sam prods your arm and you swat him away. 

“Fine.” You huff. “I was a fan of his music, so I sent him a DM and asked if he liked a certain show that I was in. He er, he told me he did and I told him I was in it, so he asked who I played. I told him and we just kind of started talking from there.” 

“Awww.” Alexandra gushes and you rolls your eyes. “And how is it dating an actor?” She asks Luke. “For me it’s a nightmare.” She looks at Sam and he stares at her offended. 

“What did I do?” 

“The black eye.” She raises and eyebrow and he shuts up. 

“The black eye?” You ask. 

“He came home with a black eye a while ago. I thought he’s been beaten up or robbed or something. It didn’t help that he limped through the front door, there was blood on his lip and everything. He wouldn’t tell me what happened and then after a few minutes of me panicking, he told me it was just make up from a film he was doing.” She explains and your jaw drops. 

“Sam!” You gasp. 

“I thought it would be funny!” He defends. 

“How is that funny?!” You and Alex say at the same time. 

“That is pretty funny.” Luke laughs and the three of you look at him. 

“Thank you!” 

“Fine. I’ll do that and then we’ll see how you like it.” You reply and he shrugs. 

“Well, you’ve told me you’re going to do it now so I’ll know what you’re doing.” 

“And what if I have actually been mugged? Are you going to take that chance?” You raise an eyebrow. 

“She’s got you there.” Sam says. “And I wouldn’t argue with her, she’s got a hell of a kick when she wants to.” 

“I didn’t even touch you.” You roll your eyes. 

“That’s not the point.” He argues. 

“I can actually kick you next time if you want?” 

“No thanks.” He shakes his head quickly. Him and Alexandra start their own conversation about what to have for dinner and so you turn your body to face Luke. He’s already staring at you when you look at him and you feel yourself become breathless.

“What?” You wonder. 

“Nothing. I’m just proud of you.” He shrugs.  “So when you win your first of many oscars, will I be the first person you thank?” 

“Hmmm.” You pretend to think for a while. “As long as I’m first on your grammy speech?” 

“Deal.” 

[p-artsypants]

Integrity

Integrity is the practice of being honest and showing a consistent and uncompromising adherence to strong moral and ethical principles and values. In ethics, integrity is regarded as the honesty and truthfulness or accuracy of one's actions.

-

Overwhelmed with her responsibilities, guilt, and drama, Marinette has an emotional breakdown in front of everyone, and even hands over her earrings in a moment of weakness. Only for a few seconds, but the damage was done. Adrien’s pretty quick on the uptake like that.

I got this idea from a sermon a few weeks ago. It was supposed to just be a one shot, and then it got out of hand. This will have maybe two more chapters.

FF.net | Ao3

—

Nino would feel guilty in the days to come after unconsciously making her burst into tears, Marinette knew. It wasn’t actually his fault, but there was so many layers to this onion that she couldn’t explain it if she wanted to.

I had been a simple request. He was going on to create a sequel of Horrificator, with Mylene and Ivan starring again. He had simply asked if she would be able to create a costume that matched the akuma on film, though it didn’t need to be perfect, since they’d be filming it Blair Witch style.

Before she could even respond, Lila had butted her head into the conversation and said something along the lines of ‘oh my father’s college roommate is a famous monster movie costume designer! He could totally whip something up for you!’

Her butting in hadn’t been the problem. Marinette was totally used to it now. She practically expected it.

“Oh that’s awesome, Lila!” Alya had chirped. “That would be so amazing!”

“Yeah dude! We’re going to start filming soon, so if you could reach out to him and give me an answer about it, that would be awesome!”

“Of course! And that way you don’t need to bother Marinette. She always so busy in the bakery…”

“I would have loved to do the costume.” Marinette clarified. “It really isn’t a problem. So if this falls through, let me know, okay?”

“Thanks Marinette!” Nino beamed.

Then Lila smirked. And Marinette sensed that she had sealed her own doom.

How? Easy.

Lila would put off on confessing that her contact was busy, and then Marinette would be forced to work too quickly and do a half-assed job, or reject it completely.

Making her look like a flake, or a bad designer.

She rolled her eyes at the thought, and took out her sketchbook and pulled up the Ladyblog on her phone. Of course Lila had no contact. There was no reason to wait for a response. She’d might as well just get started on it now.

“It’s so cool that you know so many people, Lila!” Alya said from her side.

“Oh, I try not to think about it too much. I don’t want to be a braggart.”

Marinette bit her tongue, trying not to respond.

From in front of her, Adrien had leaned his head on his arm, on her desk, watching her work. “That’s smart.” He said softly. “Let me know if you need anything, okay?”

“Thanks Adrien.” She smiled at him, a little solemnly. Her stuttering was mostly gone now. She was trying to be a good friend and let him go for Kagami’s sake. But it was so hard! Especially since they weren’t official yet.

Alya sat next to her, ignoring her ‘jealousy’ to her classmate. “Girl, before you came around, Marinette was doing everything around here! Now we’ve got you so we can pull from all different talent pools!”

Except they weren’t. It was still Marinette.

Doing everything. As class representative, as craftsman, as liaison, as a tutor, and even a therapist. She was constantly bending over backwards to help.

And still no one appreciated her. Now she was working with shorter deadlines, and less respect. More skepticism and less mercy.

Everyone was taking advantage of her, and she was too nice to put a stop to it.

Or too naïve to notice it was even happening in the first place.

Of course, this was all on top of her guardian and Ladybug duties, which was already a full time job. And also a full time student, with remarkable grades!

And she was expected to do her chores and help out part time in the bakery.

She couldn’t remember the last time she designed something for herself.

“Of course,” clarified Nino, who had been sitting on his desk, “when you’re working with famous people, things don’t always work out. That’s why it’s nice to have Marinette around! She’s so clever! She always finds a solution!”

It was supposed to be a compliment. He was trying to let her know they still liked her and needed her.

But it came to a screeching halt with Nino’s words.

“Marinette?” Adrien asked, noticing the tears first.

She covered her mouth, lest she sob out loud and get too much attention.

But the concern in Adrien’s voice had already grabbed the attention of those around her.

“Girl...” Alya said with far too much pity. “There’s no reason to get upset.”

“Yeah Marinette.” Said Lila, with fake sympathy. “I know you want to be helpful, but you’re only one person. There’s no reason to be jealous. You can’t master everything!”

“Lila, maybe you should stop talking.” Adrien said patiently. “You know she doesn’t like you.”

“And I can’t imagine why! I’ve only ever been nice to her!”

Alya winced. “It’s...complicated.”

Lila gasped. “You’re not still jealous because of Adrien are you? After all, he’s dating Kagami, and she’s your friend! That’s not fair to me, Marinette!”

Any minute now, Marinette was going to burst into gut wrenching, uncontrollable sobbing. And she would rather do it as Ladybug so she could snatch up the Akuma before they landed. Classes were over for the day anyway. She had just stayed behind to attempt to socialize with her friends for just a few minutes.

Looked like that was in vain.

She stood, “I have to go.”

Alya grabbed her wrist. “No you don’t. Let’s just sit and talk this out.”

Lila continued to twist the knife. “Yeah Marinette. Let’s air our grievances like adults. We can be friends.”

But Marinette frantically scooped her belongings into her bag, holding onto every shred of dignity that she could, while Lila continued to rip it away from her.

“Can’t you see how your stubbornness is hurting your friends? You’re causing a lot of unnecessary drama.”

“Lila’s right, you know. Acting like this is really hurtful to me.” Said Alya, still full of sympathy.

She should have stayed silent, but her anguish spoke for her. “I’ve told you again and again that I don’t like Lila because she’s a liar. No one believes me, so there’s no point in talking about it!” Her voice cracked at the end.

“Marinette, we know Lila has a condition that causes her to misremember information. That doesn’t mean she’s maliciously lying!”

Marinette shook with untapped rage. She was a ticking time bomb. “She is though. She threatened me. I warned her that her lies were going to catch up to her, and she said that she was going to war with me. To take my friends away from me!”

“How dare you!” Lila shouted, with a pathetic snivel.

She was overacting, to be honest.

“You did that to me! How dare you try to make me the villain?! I was willing to let it go, but apparently, you’re worse than I believed!”

“Are you sure you aren’t misremembering that too, Lila?” Marinette bit.

“I could never forget the attempt someone made on my life! You gave me nightmares! You threatened to kill me! All because I was talking to the boy you were in love with—no! Obsessed with!”

“Marinette!”

“That’s awful!”

“Why would you do such a thing?!”

But Marinette didn’t respond, knowing that it was futile, just shouldered her backpack, half empty coffee cup in hand.

Adrien, bless his heart, packed up with her. “I’ll walk with you,” he offered.

Eloquence was not on her side, nor was grace or kindness. All that was holding her together was the utter desire to get away. “Leave me alone!” She shouted, before leaving.

Or, attempting to leave. She was short on the step and slipped, thrusting her coffee cup forward and right onto Lila.

“Ow!!” Lila cried, as the day-old lukewarm coffee hit her. “It burns!!”

Marinette, who wasn’t buying the pain, did feel guilt for spilling coffee. Because even if it wasn’t hot, it still stained. “Oh my gosh, I’m so so sorry Lila! That was an accident! Let me run home, I’ll get you a change of clothes!”

“You did that on purpose!” Lila sobbed, holding her arm. “I think it might be third degree!! Ow!”

“Marinette, seriously? What’s wrong with you? You’re out of control girl!” Alya scolded. “We need to tell the principal about this!”

“What? No! That was a complete accident! But the coffee is from this morning, it shouldn’t even be warm—“

“Come on Lila, let’s go see the nurse!” Rose, ever vigilant and noble, grabbed the lying girl and escorted her out of the room.

Marinette stood there quaking. Stupid. Unfair. Cruel. Why had fate turned everything against her? Why was everything unraveling?

Why did she mess up with every step?

“Marinette—“ Alya started.

Furious, and not quite herself, Marinette poured the rest of the coffee on the desk, on Alya’s hand.

“Hey!”

“She’s a liar! She’s always been a liar, and that’s all she’ll ever be!” Then she finally stalked out of the room.

Alya scoffed with a shake of her head. “God, bitterness is so ugly.”

“I’m going after her.” Adrien stated, making sure he had everything.

“Dude, leave it. Marinette’s always upset these days. Don’t worry about it. If what Lila says is true, we should just let her go. We should be more concerned about Lila.”

Though Alya didn’t quite share the sentiment as she touched the puddle of cold coffee on the desk. “Well...Lila might be being a little dramatic, or it could be shock. Either way, it’s just another day of drama. Marinette just needs to calm down. Even if she did have a lapse of judgement, that doesn’t mean we can’t just let bygones be bygones.”

Always upset these days? Was she really? How much of a friend to her was he if he had never noticed before?

Ignoring his other friends, Adrien left the classroom, hoping to catch up to her.

She was in the locker room, packing up her bag while she trembled and hiccuped.

“Marinette?” He asked.

“Please leave me alone.” She whispered.

He frowned, coming closer. “I don’t think I want to.”

“I don’t want you to see me like this.”

“Like how?”

She shrugged her shoulders miserably. “Weak? Ugly? Pathetic? Take your pick!”

“What? Because you’re crying? That’s not weak at all. And you want to see an ugly crier? I’m an ugly crier.”

“I highly doubt that.” She whispered.

“No really! I get all snotty and hiccupy. When you cry...your eyes get all sparkly.”

Adrien had seconds to brace himself as her lips trembled, before she started to sob.

“Hey...” he reached out for her, wrapping his arms around her slowly so she could pull away. But instead, she just returned the hug, burying her face in his shoulder.

He could feel her tears leaking through. Still, he just held her, rubbing her back gently.

Suddenly, a switch flipped and she shoved him away. “No! No I can’t!”

“Marinette?” He asked, startled.

“It’s not fair! I can’t take comfort from you!”

“Sure you can!” He laughed incredulously. “I’m here for you, Marinette.”

“It’s not fair to Kagami!”

“Kagami? She’d want me to comfort my friend.”

Marinette trembled. “No! It’s more than that! You’re with her and I can’t cry on you because I don’t want to hurt her because I’m in love with you and it’s not fair to take advantage of you! It’s not fair that you don’t know that!”

His eyes blew wide. “You...what? Lila was telling the truth?”

Marinette made a horrible choking sound as she realized what she blurted. “No no no...no this can’t be happening. I didn’t, no I—I’m just a fan! I love you, like a friend! Like—like—!” She sobbed. “Ugh! I’m ruining everything! Everything is falling apart! Why am I so stupid?!”

Adrien grabbed her arm tightly, almost painfully. “Marinette, we need to go.”

She looked up sharply, seeing that he wasn’t looking at her.

He was looking at the black butterfly crawling through the edge of the window.

“No, you—you’ve got things to do. I’ll go—“

He squeezed her tighter, “you’re crazy if you think I’m leaving you alone.”

“But—“

“Come on!” He yanked her, pulling her out from the locker room and into the courtyard, where students were milling about. Including their classmates.

“Oh Marinette—“ began Alya.

“Shut up!” Adrien retaliated.

“No!” Marinette dug her heels in as a purple light formed a mask over her face.

Adrien didn’t let go. Couldn’t let go. He didn’t see where the Akuma had landed. Her bag? Her hair ties?

Marinette trembled. “I—I can’t. I won’t!”

Adrien turned to her, cupping her cheeks in his hands. “Marinette? Marinette listen to me. Look at me. You don’t need him, okay? You’re smart, and wonderful, and kind. He’s not going to help you. He’s lying to you. You hate liars, right?”

Marinette nodded mutely.

“Then tell him to piss off!”

“I can’t—“ she choked. “I can’t be akumatized. I can’t!”

“And you won’t!” Adrien argued. “There’s always a solution, no matter how bleak or overwhelming. And I will help you fix this!”

Marinette clenched her eyes shut, every muscle in her body coiled tight.

Then she whispered out, in a very even tone, “Hawkmoth, leave me alone.”

The light disappeared, and the black butterfly flew away.

For a few moments, everyone was tense, still, and silent, the only sounds coming from Marinette as she stifled her cries. Adrien moved his hands from her face down to hold her hands.

Then she collapsed, and started wailing.

Powerful, horrible, heartbreaking wails. The wails of hopelessness, fear, and loneliness, bubbling and bursting out of her like a waterfall. On and on, she just screamed, not caring who heard or saw.

The crowd was at a cross between embarrassed and concerned. Some wanted to give her privacy, some wanted to just leave. Either way, everyone eventually trickled away. Her classmates leaving last.

Adrien crouched, sitting beside her. Close enough she could lean on him if need be, but far enough away for her to pretend she had privacy. But he kept his hand on the back of her neck, moving across her shoulders occasionally for support.

“Marinette,” he moaned, once they were alone. “I know you must need to cry…but I can’t bare to watch this…do you want to talk about it? What happened? This isn’t just about what just happened in the classroom. Although that didn’t help...”

“It’s Lila!” She screamed. “And-And Alya! And you! And Master Fu! And Luka—And And—!” She wailed, her words turning into moans.

“Whoa whoa whoa what?”

She just wailed harder.

He exhaled slowly. “Okay, that’s a lot to unpack…” He glanced around, taking note of the lack of people. Fencing started soon, but he was obviously skipping.

“Marinette? Don’t you want to go to your house?” He asked softly.

“I don’t know! I don’t know what to do!”

“Hey, hey, let’s breathe together. Okay?” At least she wasn’t screaming anymore.

She hiccuped a few times, but finally took a deep breath along with Adrien.

“Okay.” He said, smiling at her. “You’re doing great. Now let’s slowly talk things out. Once we know what we need to do, we can take care of your problems in little chunks.”

“I can’t tell you my problems!” She yelled, clenching her fists. “That’s the whole problem! I can’t tell anyone! Not my parents! Not my friends, not—“ she cupped her hands over her mouth, holding back a sob.

“Oh Marinette...”

“No! No I can’t do this anymore! I’m 15! I can’t handle this kind of pressure! I’ve ruined all of it! Paris needs someone better, and I can’t even handle my own problems let alone everything else demanded of me.” She fumbled with her earrings, before slapping them down in his hand. “You take them! They’re your responsibility now! I quit!”

A flash of pink took over the earrings as they went from the plain black stones she wore, to the flat gray stubs he saw as his stint as Mister Bug.

He choked.

His reaction snapped her out of her hysteria. “I shouldn’t have done that! I should not have—!” She swiped the earrings back and put them back on with fumbling hands. “I need to go before anything else happens! I’m a walking disaster!”

“Hey, whoa whoa whoa, Marinette—“

“No, stop talking!” She snapped. “I’m sorry—I didn’t mean to yell. I’m just—panicking.”

“Yeah, I can see that.” He sighed, and then took her hand in his. “Look, let’s get out of here. We’ll go to your house.”

“But—But don’t you—aren’t you—will someone be looking for you?”

“I have fencing.”

“I don’t want you to be late!”

“Marinette! I’m skipping!”

“Really?”

“Yes! You’re way more important to me then some stupid sport!”

“But—“

He helped her to her feet. “I’ll text Kagami so she can cover for me. Don’t worry about it, Marinette.”

“...I just don’t want to burden you.”

“You’re not. I’m promise, you’re not.”

She gripped his sleeve. “You can’t tell Kagami, or—or anyone. Please Adrien, I didn’t mean to say it. It’s not...not that I don’t trust you. I’m just...” she sighed in frustration. She was so overwhelmed, words weren’t coming the way she wanted them to.

“Marinette, I get it.” He assured, taking hold of the hand gripping him. “You trusted me with the snake, even though I failed back then, I never breathed a word of it to anyone. I’m not going to say anything. See, I’ve already forgotten what you said.”

She managed a watery giggle. “Thanks Adrien.”

“Now come on. Let’s go talk somewhere private.”

Resigned, Marinette allowed Adrien to tug her along. On the front steps, students were milling around, having evacuated the courtyard. Adrien didn’t say a word to anyone, while Marinette kept her eyes firmly on the ground.

Once they were away from the school, Tikki peered out of the bag, taking note of the fat tears rolling down Marinette’s cheeks. She was spiraling again, assuming the worst.

But Chat Noir was here, and they’d work everything out.

In the bakery, however, things reached a fever pitch as Lila, still wet with coffee, stood at the counter, talking to Sabine.

The conversation halted as the little bell above the door chimed.

Lila just looked at them and smirked, her face turned away from Sabine.

“Thank you for telling me, young lady. I’ll handle everything.” The woman said, edge in her voice.

Lila nodded pitifully and walked passed them to the door.

As she passed Adrien, she whispered, “I’m going to your father next.” And then left without a rebuttal.

Marinette looked at him, wide-eyed and horrified. “Did she just—?”

“Adrien,” Sabine said sternly. “Thank you for escorting Marinette home. But I have to ask you to leave. I need a word with my daughter.”

Adrien panicked for a moment, not sure how to navigate this situation. He never talked back to authority figures.

Well, not as Adrien. But his Lady was in danger, so Adrien was going to sit this one out, and let his Chat Noir persona deal with it. He held up a hand. “Mrs. Cheng. I don’t know what Lila just told you, and frankly, I don’t want to know.” His tone was stern and demanding, one he adopted from his father in the most cutthroat situations. It was scary, to Sabine and Marinette. “Lila Rossi is a liar and has been harassing Marinette for a while now. She’s the one responsible for her expulsion, and lying to get it reversed as well. I’ve spent the last—“ he took out his phone to look at the time. God. “I’ve spent the last hour holding Marinette while she cried. That gave Lila plenty of time to come here and do damage.”

Sabine just stared between him and Marinette. “Marinette, is this true?”

She could only sniff and nod.

“Madam Cheng?” He said, a little softer. “My father doesn’t trust me. I never did anything to warrant that treatment, but he doesn’t. It hurts that I don’t have an adult I can turn to when I need help. Don’t be like that to Marinette.”

Sabine gasped a little. It was harsh, of course, but seein0g Marinette—his lady—so broken was stirring up some ugly emotions in him.

“I’m not leaving.” He told her. “Marinette needs me.”

“Of course dear. Thank you so much. I found it hard to believe that Marinette would become violent with anyone, but after that ridiculous expulsion, I didn’t know what to believe. I’m not at school, I know Marinette, but—“ she shook her head.

“I tripped.” Marinette whispered. “The coffee was cold. It was an accident.”

“Now that, I believe,” Sabine hummed fondly. “Madam Rossi probably deserves a phone call. Why don’t you two go up to her room? I’ll bring up some tea in a bit.”

Adrien massively sighed. “Thank you Madam Cheng. And...sorry for being rude.”

“You were stern. It was important.” She walked over and hugged her daughter, petting her hair. “Marinette, I’m so sorry for making you feel like you couldn’t talk to me about this. I trust you, both of us do.” She kissed her head. “Don’t be afraid to ask for help every once in a while, okay?”

Marinette could only nod against her.

“I’ll let you two go. When you’re calmer, you can tell me what happened, if you want. Either way, I’ll disregard what that girl said.”

“Thank you, Maman.” Marinette whispered.

“Of course baby.” She kissed her forehead tenderly.

Then Adrien took Marinette’s hand again and pulled her away upstairs.

Once in her room, Marinette sat on her chaise, pulling her legs up to her chest. She was silent.

Adrien grabbed a blanket from her bed, and wrapped it around her shoulders, then sat by her side and pulled her to lean against him.

“Whenever you’re ready to talk, I’m here to listen.”

She whimpered. “I’m scared.”

“Of what?”

“...of saying something I’m not supposed to. I wasn’t supposed to tell you about...any of that. It just all came out.”

“Sounds like you’ve been bottling yourself up. That’s not healthy, Marinette.”

She pushed away from him, standing, her back to him. “I’m sorry, Adrien. I really appreciate you being here with me, but...it’s just too dangerous. And, like I said, it’s not fair to Kagami.”

Adrien huffed, his bangs fluttering over his forehead. “Marinette...I’m just trying to help.”

“And I appreciate that, but I can handle it.” Then quietly, more to herself. “I have to handle it.”

Swallowing a growl, he looked at his stubborn lady. “What about Chat Noir?”

She hunched her shoulders. “What about him?”

“Have you talked this out with him? Does he know you’re struggling?” He knew the answer, but he was curious to what she would say. Would she lie?

Her hiccups and sniffles weren’t exactly what he was expecting, but it wasn’t surprising. “He’s already so disappointed with me!”

“What?” He stood too, whirling to face her. “What are you talking about?”

“It was written all over his face during the last fight! He knows I gave away my mentor’s identity! I’m the reason Chloé got upset! And I keep stringing him along!” She sobbed. “He had to do everything in that last fight! I couldn’t plan, or think or—or do anything! And he hasn’t talked to me since!”

Adrien’s warm hands landed on her shoulders. “Marinette, Ladybug, you know that’s not true right? Chat’s your partner. He’d never be disappointed in you!”

“How do you know?”

He shrugged. It wasn’t the right time to reveal himself. She was already dealing with so much. Surely revealing himself would cause another spiral. “I just do.”

She shook her head in disbelief.

He pulled her back down to the chaise to sit, and rested a warm hand on her back. Then he eased her over to lean against his shoulder again.

“I won’t say a thing. I’m not Adrien, I’m not anyone. Just a pillow with ears. Why don’t you talk it all out. And once you’re done, I’ll stuff this day far into the back reaches of my mind where no one will find it. All your secrets are safe with me.”

Marinette started to relax against him, despite the absolute panic of being close to her crush. He was warm, and his arms held her securely. She felt safe.

Tikki made her appearance, coming out of Marinette’s bag that had been set on her desk. “Marinette?”

Marinette only looked back at her, ashamed and embarrassed.

“It’s alright. You can trust Adrien,” is what she said. Not, “you‘ve failed and I hate you. How dare you!” There was no judgement, no reprimanding. Just comfort.

She wanted to cry again, but Adrien petted her head, a soothing rhythm.

With a shuddering breath, she began, “Lila’s been threatening me. I knew she was lying because I’m Ladybug. I didn’t like that she was using my name to get close to you. I saw her getting away with all these other lies too because no one bothered to fact check her. It was frustrating that every time I urged Alya to listen, she wrote me off as jealous. I’m not jealous of her. I have no reason to be. But because I have a...crippling crush on you—“ she bit her lip.

Adrien gave no reaction.

She continued, “—I was automatically deemed jealous because she was talking to you. Lila confronted me in the bathroom, fake concerned about my well being when I was moved to the back of the classroom. But when I told her I knew she was lying, and that everyone would figure her out, she threatened me. She said she was going to make me her enemy, that my friends would leave me behind and you’d—you’d be with her. I tried to ignore it, and take the high road like you suggested, but...”

“Did you tell anyone she threatened you?”

“...no.”

“Why?”

“I was so scared Alya would treat it like every other thing I said to her about Lila. She’d pass it off as jealousy. She’s supposed to be my best friend but she doesn’t believe me!!”

“Forget about Alya then. If she doesn’t believe you, then that’s her fault. You’ve got nothing to prove. What about anyone else?”

Marinette shuttered. “I thought...no one would believe me.”

“Even me?”

She pushed away from him, hugging herself, the guilt starting to creep back in. “I can barely talk to you...how was I supposed to tell you I was being threatened?”

“That’s fair, I guess. I just...I could have helped you.”

She was quiet, hugging her arms to her chest. “I...didn’t think about it. It was my problem to deal with. And I’m not great at asking for help. I’m sorry.”

“Aw, you don’t need to apologize for that Marinette. You didn’t do anything wrong. Lila’s the one with the stick up her ass.”

Marinette giggled. She had never heard Adrien swear before.

Suddenly, Adrien’s phone rang, interrupting the conversation. He sighed heavily. “Gee, I wonder who that could be.” He took it out, and saw Nathalie’s name. “I’m sorry, I have to take this. Then you can have my full attention.”

She highly doubted that, but nodded him on.

He answered, “hi Nathalie.”

“Adrien, your father wants you home immediately. Considering that you answered, I’m assuming that you’re not in practice anymore...or maybe you never went.”

Adrien swallowed, but realized there was no point in arguing. Not with her at least. “Put my father on, please.”

“You can talk to him when you come home.”

“This is urgent, Nathalie, give the phone to my father.” He couldn’t keep the bite out of his tone, but allowed his protectiveness to take the reins, filling him with adrenaline.

“One moment.”

The phone went quiet before Gabriel’s voice cut in, “Adrien, I want you home. Now. You are in danger with that girl—“

“Do you trust me?”

Gabriel sighed, “I’d trust you more if you did as I asked.”

“No, father, I need to know if you will listen to me and believe me when I have something important to tell you.”

“Yes yes,” he said, and Adrien could imagine him flipping his hand. “What is it, Adrien? What is so important?”

“Lila Rossi has been sexually harassing me.” He blurted. Not the argument he was planning on making, but one that might make his father listen to him.  

Gabriel paused before asking, “what?” All anger in his voice had evaporated, which was new.

“She touches me without my permission. And she threatens any other girls that get close to me. I don’t know what she told you about Marinette, but she’s been threatening her for a while. Marinette had a break down at school. I’m trying to comfort her.”

A pair of slender arms wrapped around his waist from behind in a gentle hug. She rested her cheek against his spine. Adrien rested a hand over hers, appreciating the comfort.

For once, Gabriel didn’t respond. Adrien took that as a cue to keep going.

“I don’t feel safe around Lila. She lies to people to get her way. She got Marinette expelled almost effortlessly. I’m scared that she’ll do something like that to me. To us. What’s stopping her from accusing me of sexual harassment or worse?” He swallowed. “Please don’t make me model with her anymore.”

Gabriel continued to be silent, and Adrien took it as quiet contemplation.

Finally, Gabriel responded. “You’re concerns are valid. You make very good points. Thank you for bringing this to my attention.”

Adrien exhaled in a whoosh.

“I will be working through dinner, so you may stay with the Dupain-Chengs if they’ll have you. Just be home by 8. I’d like to talk with you more about this then.”

“Thank you, Father.”

“Thank you for being honest with me, son.” And he hung up.

Adrien took a shaky breath as Marinette pulled away from him. “Sorry for the hug, I know you were just talking about being sexually harassed—I just know that was a hard conversation to have and—“

“Marinette.” He stopped her, holding her hand. “It’s more than okay. You can hug me whenever you like. I don’t mind.”

“You sure?”

“Absolutely.” He smiled. “Your hugs, whether intentional or not, are nice.”

She blushed.

“I-I mean...Lila and Chloe hang on me, or clamp down like...like a pair of handcuffs. You hold me. Sure, but gentle enough I can pull away. It’s nice.”

Still blushing, and unable to look him in the eye, she hugged him again, hiding her face in his chest.

He gathered her close, savoring her touch. He had found her. Finally. Of course, it was in a horrible way, and she didn’t know who he was. But he found her, and he still loved her without the mask. That’s more than he ever could have asked for.

“Your hugs are really nice too.” She mumbled into his shirt.

He snickered, imagining her reaction if he was Chat. He couldn’t help but think it would be a little different. “Alright,” he pulled away slightly. “My problems are on hold. Let’s get back to you. Let’s get back to what caused you to cry in class. What got you so suddenly upset? Because you started crying before Lila blurted out all that stuff. Was it Lila making another bogus offer?”

She shook her head. “No...it’s stupid.”

“It’s obviously not stupid if it made you cry.”

She sighed, but didn’t pull away this time. Her walls began to crumble, since he was Adrien and he was so kind.

“It wasn’t Lila. It was actually Nino.”

“Nino? Really? What did he do? Do you need me to kick his butt?”

She smiled softly. “No, he didn’t do it on purpose. I think it was supposed to be a compliment...”

“And that was...?”

“He said that it was nice to have me around when things fail because I always have the solution.” Her eyes watered as she spoke.

“Oh. Hmm. I guess I don’t really see why that would have bothered you? I mean, you are really smart and clever, and quick too! You always know what to do.”

“But I don’t!” She threw her arms in the air and began to pace. “That’s just it! I can come up with problem solvers when facing an Akuma! And occasionally I have good ideas for dealing with school problems! But right now? I don’t know what the heck I’m doing!” She shouted, a few tears leaking out. “My mentor is gone, and it’s my fault! I gave away his identity to Hawkmoth and he in turn gave up his memories to protect me and Chat! Now I’m the guardian of the Miraculous and I’m only 15! So not only do I have to deal with that big mess, but I have to deal with balancing being a full time student and superhero without letting anyone catch onto what’s happening, which requires a lot of lying, which I hate doing!! And now with Lila making these bogus claims and no one listening to me, I’m left scrambling to pick up the mess she makes because I’m the class representative and I’m terrified of disappointing my friends more! I’m already on thin ice with the class and being a social outcast might just break me! So I have to put aside my own problems to deal with Paris and my fickle classmates. I just keep watching you grow farther away, and Chat become more and more disappointed and heartbroken, and Luka become more impatient and I don’t even have the emotional energy to decide which one hurts me more!” She outright sobbed.

“Marinette...” Adrien breathed, not able to say much else.

“Just for once, I want my problems to just—solve themselves. Because I’m so tired and I’m so scared! I messed up so badly today—what about tomorrow? What if my next break down is in front of Hawkmoth?”

Adrien stood slowly, approaching her like a wild animal. “Hey...if it’s any consolation, you are completely justified in having this break down. This is an unbelievable amount of stress you have. I’m surprised you didn’t crack earlier.”

“I did. Right before Miracle Queen. Luka found me then. I felt awful for crying on him, because I know he cares about me...but I just don’t feel the same. I like him, I really do, but I can’t—“ she shook her head. “I’m just leading him on at this point. I’m so terrible.”

“I know exactly how you feel.”

She looked up at him, seeing the sympathy in his eyes. He looked miserable.

“That’s exactly how I feel about Kagami.”

Marinette wiped the tears from her cheek. “What?”

“She said that my indecision hurt her, which I get but...I can’t just stop loving—“ he turned red, and turned his face away, “sorry, we’re focusing on your problems. Not mine.”

“No, don’t. Adrien, who are you in love with, if not Kagami?”

The desperation in her voice forced him to look at her. He felt extremely embarrassed and guilty. All this time, he declared he’d know her anywhere, and yet how was he supposed to explain that he looked right passed her?

“Um...” he said smartly.

“Please?”

“It’s...you. I’m in love with you.”

She choked, her face turning red. “You...are? But I thought...”

“Ladybug, you. To be more precise. But now that I know who you are, the feelings are the same. Or possibly even stronger. Just so you know. It’s not just some silly celebrity thing.”

She opened her mouth, preparing to speak, but the words were stuck, her throat dry.

“Marinette...” he took her hands gently. “You are amazing, brave, smart, and kind. You’re my hero, and while you are going through some really hard stuff right now, you have something that Lila and Hawkmoth don’t.”

“A life?”

He chuckled, “well, yes. But I was going to say integrity.”

“Integrity?”

“Yeah. Willingness to help others even when you have bad days. Doing your best to keep promises. Being someone dependable, honest, and selfless. It might be exhausting, but in the end, you’ll be still standing when everyone else’s messes fall down around you.”

Her shoulders sagged as she let out a whoosh of air. “That’s really sweet, Adrien. But...” she hugged herself. “You told me it didn’t matter as long as you and I knew the truth. That I should take the high road and her lies would catch up to her. Well, I almost got expelled, so it obviously isn’t working.”

“Right, yes. And I’m sorry,” he clarified. “When I gave you that advice the first time, I didn’t know she threatened you. I thought it just bothered you that she was lying in general. I’m not saying you have to lay down like a dog anymore, I’m just saying that you have an advantage on her. And your character is your foundation. If you were a terrible person, and she was lying about you, there would be no reason for anyone to doubt her. But because you are so amazing, someone’s going to notice. And if they don’t, that’s not your fault. I will help you come up with a way to solve this problem, I promise.”

She sighed again, this time in relief. “Thank you Adrien. That means a lot.”

“Now,” he began, starting to pace himself. “I’m not sure what I can do to help you with the Miraculous. Given that I was a terrible temporary holder, and I’m not even supposed to know about this—“

“You don’t need to help me there.” She sighed, but in a gentle way, that sounded relaxed and okay. “If we can get the Lila situation under control, I think I’ll be able to handle guardianship a lot more.”

“What about Chat? Can he take some responsibilities?”

She groaned. “That’s another one of my problems. He’s so...”

Adrien held his breath, ready to take whatever terrible trait she had honed in on.

“...so wonderful.”

Huh. Not expected, but not unwelcomed!

“He’s goofy, and impatient, and goes overboard sometimes, but he has such a good heart and encourages me. So during that last fight...it broke me to see him step up and take control while I just spiraled.”

“You’re a team though. He should be able to take control when you’re unable to.”

“I know, but it shouldn’t be when I’m having an existential crisis! Just when I’m hurt or sick—“

“I’m sure Chat didn’t mind stepping up.”

“How do you know?”

“I mean, I’ve seen the way he looks at you.”

Marinette groaned again. “And there again! If I keep rejecting him, he’s just going to get more and more heartbroken, and then he’s going to resent me! And I hate that! I don’t want to be the cause of that!”

Adrien paled. Honestly, he was trying to move on with Kagami. He wasn’t going to let heartbreak turn to resentment. Especially not towards her, who he still adored. That was yesterday’s problem though, things were looking pretty optimistic in the love department now. Though they hadn’t gotten that far yet.

“Marinette, I think if that does happen, it wouldn’t be your fault. I think...Chat should be mature enough to respect your wishes.”

“He has his moments.” She breathed. “Did you know I almost gave up being Ladybug right at the beginning?”

“What?! No way!”

“Yes! But Chat encouraged me. Alya was in danger and that prompted me to put the earrings back on, but Chat actually talked me into being a hero. In my darkest moments, I wonder ‘what would Chat say?’ Sometimes the answer is stupid, but it makes me laugh. And then I hear his encouragement.”

“You care a lot about Chat, don’t you?”

“I love him. He’s my best friend and the best partner I could ask for.”

Adrien’s lovesick grin was probably not the best reaction to her praise of someone else. He shook himself into a more relaxed and normal expression. “Have you guys talked at all since then?”

“No. I have no idea what to say to him.” She plopped down in one of her computer chairs and leaned her head back. “I wish I knew Chinese!”

“What?” Adrien asked at the sudden change in conversation.

“Don’t get me wrong, I know some. But not enough to get me by. My mom offered to teach me some when I was younger, but I was being stubborn and now I regret it! I’ve been trying to learn more since I started training, but I can’t ask my mom for specific phrases, and free apps only get me so far!”

“Why do you need to know Chinese?”

Marinette took a deep breath, and looked at Tikki.

“I mean, he already knows this much, might as well keep going.”

She exhaled. “Alright. The miraculous come with...a manual, of sorts. But it’s all in code. Some of that code is in Chinese, either Mandarin or something else...maybe even ancient Chinese. I don’t know. But I figure being able to read it would help me figure it out.”

“Uh...wasn’t there a temple or something in Tibet that came back? Could you use the Teleportation miraculous to get there?”

Marinette stared at him, wide-eyed. “You...you’re on to something there! Oh but that doesn’t fix my Chinese problem! I know how to say ‘please’, ‘thank you’, ‘good morning’ and stuff but not ‘hello, I’m the new Miraculous Guardian in Paris and I don’t know how to read the book. Can you teach me?’”

“Hello, I’m the new Miracle Stone Guardian in Paris and I don’t know how to read the book. Can you teach me?” Adrien said in Mandarin. “At least I think that’s what it is. I said ‘Miracle Stone’ instead of Miraculous, because I think that’s a better translation—“

“Adrien!” Marinette grabbed his face with both hands, squishing his cheeks together. “You speak Mandarin!”

“Yes? Isn’t that what you were getting to? Asking me to be your translator?”

“I didn’t—we couldn’t—“

“Because I’m not supposed to know?” He asked delicately.

Marinette didn’t answer.

“Or because you believe you have to do this on your own?”

She groaned again. “Are you like a mind reader or something?”

He rested a hand on her shoulders and rubbed back and forth. “One of my many talents.”

“But, yes. That is what I’m worried about. I don’t want to get you too involved. I should at least talk to Chat about it.”

“Yeah, I think you should just be honest with him. Just tell him everything.”

“I can’t tell him everything, it would compromise my identity!”

“Um, just out of curiosity…why don’t you two know who the other is?”

“It was a safety measure, in case either one of us got akumatized, or under the control of an akuma. Our master was very strict about it.”

“But, you’re the guardian now. Isn’t it better to know each other? What if something happens to the other? There’s no one that would know who the other is.”

Marinette exhaled. “I’ve been thinking about that too. I just…I don’t know.”

“Okay. Well, I think you should let him in at least a little more. Just talk to him. He should at least know where your head is at.”

“Okay. I’ll start there.”

Adrien’s phone buzzed with a text. “Oh, who is it this time?”

Kagami: Where are you?

“Oh whoops! I needed Kagami to cover for me.”

Adrien: I’m with Marinette. There’s some class drama going on right now. Can you cover for me?

Kagami: Sure! Tell her she’s got me on her side. (Even though I’m not sure what’s going on.)

Kagami: Are you doing anything this weekend? I’d love to get Ice Cream with you! <3

Adrien winced, as he read the newest text.

“Is something wrong?”

“Um, just trying to figure out how to interpret this text. I think Kagami is asking me out.”

Her heart sunk. “Well, um…are you going to go?”

“Not if it’s a date.”

Adrien: As friends?

The little dots popped up, indicating that she was typing.

Kagami: I already told you that your indecision hurts me. Are we a couple or not? Please don’t waste my time.

“Woof. It’s like everyone is falling apart today.”

“What’s wrong? Can I help?”

Adrien smiled at her. “Not to be a complete hypocrite, but I have to handle this on my own. Should I just be blunt and honest?”

“Quite honestly, that seems like Kagami’s language.”

Adrien: I really care about you Kagami, and your friendship is very important to me. I don’t want to lose you. But I can’t be in a relationship with you. I’m very much in love with Marinette, and I just found out she feels the same. But I can’t be with her right now because of…extenuating circumstances. I wouldn’t be fair to you to be with you while I wait until things clear up for her. You deserve to be happy, and I don’t think I can be that person for you. I’m sorry.

“Adrien? Is everything okay?”

“I…I think I’m doing the right thing.”

Kagami: Thank you for your honesty. I wish you had told me sooner. We will remain friends, but I need some time. Tell Marinette I said hi and that I hope she feels better.

Adrien didn’t know how to respond to this very professional reply, so he just didn’t. He had heard you weren’t supposed to break up over text, but they weren’t exactly dating in the first place. More than likely, this conversation would be continued in person. Or she’d never talk to him again.

Instead, he noticed he had another unread text.

Nino: Did you take Marinette home? Is she okay?

Adrien gnawed at his lip. “Are you okay if I tell Nino kind of what the truth is? Besides your identity?”

Marinette shrugged. “If you can convince him, be my guest.” And she took a seat at her desk, pulling out some homework.

Adrien sat in the chair nearby, tapping out an honest reply.

Adrien: I took her home, still with her. She’s not great.

Nino: Alya said that Lila went to tell her mom about what happened. Please tell me she didn’t.

Adrien: She so did.

Nino: Ugghghhhgghhh We told her not to, especially since Alya confirmed that the coffee was cold. Ngl that whole thing at the end was super dramatic

Adrien: Of course. She’s an attention hog, and she demands it however she can get it. That includes lying out of her nose.

Nino: Lowkey bro, I haven’t been believing Lila’s stories for a while. I’ve been going along with it because she’s nice and Alya’s really good friends with her, but today was too much. It was not her place to out Marinette’s crush, especially in front of you. That was dirty

Adrien: Wait really? What made you start doubting her?

Nino: When she could never come through with any of her promises. A few times, sure, celebrities are busy, but every single time she said she’d pull a string, it would fall through. Chloe is more reliable than her. Why do you think I asked Marinette for help first?

Adrien: Boy I’m glad to hear you say that! Marinette’s feeling really overwhelmed because she has to pick up all the plans that Lila ruins.

Nino: Why? It’s not her fault. I love Marinette, but she’s got to stop catering to people.

Adrien: Dude…don’t get mad, but that’s kind of what tipped her over this afternoon. You said something like ‘she always has a solution’. She feels like everyone is depending on her to make things right.

Nino: Aw dude you’re so right! I noticed she started crying when I said that! I just didn’t get why! Aww man!

Adrien: I don’t think she minded helping people, but being asked to help and being expected to help are two totally different things

Nino: For sure dude.

Adrien: You trust me right?

Nino: Yeah dude! You’re my dog bro!

Adrien: Then know what I’m about to tell you is the absolute truth. Lila isn’t just lying for attention. She’s lying maliciously to hurt Marinette on purpose. And not only is she not friends with Ladybug, she HATES her. Chat Noir himself told me that she faked an injury to get him out of a fight and leave Ladybug alone with an akuma. When I told her she didn’t need to lie to make friends, she turned straight up evil. Marinette got on her bad side because she told her to knock it off. She lied about Marinette pushing her down the stairs, and all the other stuff that got her expelled. The only reason Marinette was allowed back at school was because I sorta blackmailed Lila. That’s when she made up that ridiculous lie about having a lying disorder.

Adrien’s phone laid on the desk for a moment, Nino’s contact completely silent.

Nino: Dude.

Nino: I gotta find Alya.

Nino: Stay with Mari.

“Okay. So, I think I won Nino over.” Adrien said with a relieved smirk.

Just then, Marinette’s phone buzzed. She had ignored it since coming home, knowing that there would be a plethora of foul messages from classmates. But she spared the screen a glance. “He just texted me. ‘Dude, I’m so so so so so so so so sorry that what I said hurt you. I only meant that you are extremely smart and clever and reliable. I never wanted to take advantage of you, but it’s nice to have someone in your corner, who you can trust and knows will be honest with you. You’re real, and I’m stopping communication with Lila now. What she did was not cool. Sorry this went on for so long. I’m talking to Alya now. Might take a while to wear her down. You know how she is. But she loves you, so she’ll see the light’.”

“Aw. Nino’s so cool.”

Her phone buzzed again. She blushed at the message, and turned it face down.

“What was that?”

“He said ‘behave’ and then a winky face.”

“Ha! I love Nino. It makes sense why you chose him to be Carapace.”

“You know about that?”

“Yeah, I know who all of the others are now. Except Chat Noir, but I have my suspicions.”

“Oh yeah, who do you suspect?”

“You know the performer XY?”

Marinette gagged. “No. Way. My Chat is way more handsome, kind, and talented than that pompous asshat!”

Adrien guffawed, and when he collected himself, he giggled out, “Handsome, huh?”

“Of course he’s handsome! But don’t you dare tell him I said that!”

“Your secret is safe with me.” He took on a more serious tone. “All of them are, you know? I promised I’d stuff this day in the back of my mind so no one will know.”

“Actually,” she gave a contented sigh. “It’s nice that someone knows. It’s nice that you know.”

“But we didn’t actually solve any of your problems.”

“Well, no. But we have a solid foundation to work on. I feel a lot more optimistic about being the guardian and dealing with Lila. I think the rest will fall into place when I have less on my plate.”

“And I’ll help you with Lila. Again, I’m sorry for my useless advice earlier.”

She rested a hand on his shoulder. “Adrien, it was helpful advice for what you assumed was going on.”

“I really tried, you know. She weaseled her way into my photo shoots, and I told her I wouldn’t boot her as long as she left you alone. And she hasn’t. So the deal is off.”

“You did that for me?”

“Of course!”

“Even without knowing that I’m...?”

“Yes! Marinette! You were always a very precious friend to me. The first that I really felt like I earned on my own. It really sucked to see you hurting, and I wanted to do whatever I could to protect you.”

Tears sprang to her eyes, but in a hopeful way this time. She threw her arms around him and squeezed. “You’re the best.”

He hugged her back, squeezing her tightly. “I try.” He glanced at his phone. “Looks like we got some time before I have to leave. Did you want me to look at that book? Or do you want to just play video games?”

“Honestly, video games sound awesome. Let me just go tell my mom you’re staying for dinner.”

“Okay.”

After she left, Plagg appeared. “You doing okay kid? Your heart is just a hum for how hard it’s beating.”

“I’m fine, just...I guess still processing everything? No wonder she feels so overwhelmed.”

“I’d like to think that by confiding in you, she’s feeling a little better.”

“I hope. I know how particular she is about her identity. She might still be uncomfortable.”

“Are you going to tell her who you are?”

“Not just yet. On one hand, she might feel better knowing it’s not some random person who knows who she is, but on the other hand, that’s a whole other can of worms and just one more thing to worry about.”

“Yeah. But you’re also not a stranger to her. You’re a good friend and the boy she’s in love with.”

“Yeah…Marinette’s…Ladybug. And she’s in love with me…”

“Kid?”

That was all the warning Plagg got before Adrien straight up passed out on the floor.

Marinette rushed back upstairs when she heard the thump. And thankfully Plagg heard her steps so that he could hide.

“Adrien?!”

The dizzy spell only lasted a few seconds, as he groggily blinked back to awareness.

“Are you alright? Do you need water? Food?”

“Yes to all the above.” He stated with a lopsided smile. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. I just...I think my brain finally processed who you were and I just got really light headed.”

“You didn’t hurt yourself, did you?”

“No, I’m fine. Thanks Mari.”

She blushed.

“Is that okay? Can I call you that?”

“You can call me anything.”

“Okay boo boo bear.” He grinned.

She started giggling. “Oh no! Not disgusting pet names!”

“Snookie wookums?”

“No!”

“Sweetie Mari pie?”

“Adrien!”

“My most ardent desire, love of my life?”

She calmed down her giggles. “That one’s pretty good, only if you say the whole thing every time.”

He smiled warmly at her. “Actually, I think I have the perfect name for you. But I’ll drop it on you when you least expect it.”

“Whatever you say...Blondie.”

“That’s the best you got?”

“I’ll think on it. I’ll get one that just melts your heart.”

There was a knock on the trap door. “Marinette?” Asked Sabine.

Marinette opened the door, and helped her mom with the tray of snacks and tea.

“Here you go. Plenty of feel good snacks to help a wounded heart.”

“Thanks Maman.” Marinette said earnestly.

“Now, I want you to know, I got in contact with Lila’s mother.” She sighed. “I’m so sorry honey, but she’s right up in Lila’s lies. She didn’t even believe me when I said Adrien had come over to clarify everything. Apparently, he’s dating Lila. There’s no way he would defend her bully.” Sabine gave them a flat look.

“Me? Date Lila? I’d sooner date a rancid garbage bag. And kiss it too!”

“Well, and least the garbage bag would never lie to you.” Marinette smiled.

“So, want do you want me to do?” Asked Sabine. “Stay out of this? Call the principle? Call a lawyer?”

“No mom,” Marinette said with an accepting sigh. “I think we’ll handle her.”

“Don’t do anything dangerous.” She warned. “I know you’re not a bad kid. But don’t stoop to her level.”

“Don’t worry. I intend to handle it with grace and dignity.”

“Dignity I can see. Grace? Just do your best.”

“Gee thanks.”

“Just let me know if you need anything. Talking to her mother didn’t work, but if we can a parent teacher conference...”

“That’s not a bad idea,” said Marinette. “But let me try a little longer. Adrien knows a little more about the situation, and so does Nino.”

“Okay baby.” Sabine smiled. “I’m proud of you. And I love you. You too, Adrien. I’m proud of you for coming here and making things right.”

He blushed. “Thank you Madam Cheng.”

“Alright, I’ll leave you kids alone. I’ll call for dinner.”

“Thanks mom!”

The video games were a great distraction from all the stress and revelations the day had brought. Smack talk, praise, puns, and even overt flirting.

“What’s wrong, Ladybug? Having trouble in a digital battle?”

“Oh you wish! I’ve fought in one of these for real!”

“Oh you lie! You think you can just tell me you did anything as Ladybug and I’ll believe it!”

“I mean, I can. You can’t prove I didn’t.”

“Yes I can, you’re sucking at this!”

“Oh but that’s just a part of my plan!” In a super mega ultra combo, Adrien’s health bar went from three quarters full, to only one hp left.

“Nonononono!!” He cried, mashing the block button.

It didn’t matter.

“Victory, thy name is sweet.”

“Guhhhh,” Adrien moaned as he flexed his sore hand. “And not a single victory for me.”

“You’ll get there some day.”

“When you go easy on me...”

“No promises there, handsome boy.”

He grinned at her.

From downstairs, Sabine called, “Adrien! Your bodyguard is here!”

“Wow, is it 8 o’clock already?”

The clock read 7:45.

“You know what they say, time flies when you’re having fun.”

He smiled softly at her. “And with you, every minute is an absolute blast.”

She blushed.

“Look, Marinette...” he trailed off, scratching the back of his head. “I...I want to be more than just a friend. I really...I love you. Truly.”

“But...?”

He winced. “A temporary but. I have a few loose ends I need to tie up before I ask you out, properly. I need to talk to my father, and I’d like to make sure Kagami’s okay. And I should probably mention it to Chloé.”

“Okay. That makes sense.”

“I just don’t want anything to ruin us before we even start, you know?”

“Of course. I understand completely.”

He sighed in relief. “Thank you. And um...I’ll leave you with this, so you know I’m serious.”

“Leave me with what?”

He swooped in, pressing the sweetest, warmest, lovely kiss of them all on her lips. It only lasted a few seconds, just to leave them both pining for more.

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” He asked as they parted.

She didn’t have the words, as she only dumbly nodded back.

With his award winning smile, he pressed a tiny peck to her nose and then danced away before she could compose herself.

After he left, she sank to the floor.

“Wow! Looks like talking out your problems with someone really did help!” Said Tikki.

“Uh huh...”

“You okay?”

“Adrien...kissed me.”

“He sure did! That was really cute!”

“I love him...I’m going to marry him.”

“Okay, maybe slow down...”

“Don’t crush my dreams Tikki!”

—

At home, Adrien arrived 5 minutes before 8. But his father was still waiting outside his office.

“Welcome home, Adrien. Did you enjoy dinner with Marinette and her family?”

It was certainly nice to receive a warm welcome! “Yeah! Her mom made this soup that was really good, and we had fresh bakery bread!”

“Sounds lovely.” Gabriel stayed with a pleasant tone. “If you aren’t busy, I should like to finish our earlier conversation.”

“No. I mean, no I’m not busy! We can talk!”

Gabriel nodded and beckoned him into his office. They sat across from each other in chairs.

“I want to thank you for being so frank about the situation with Miss Rossi. I’ll admit, I was impressed with her quick wit and ability to fabricate stories—“

“Wait.” Adrien held up a hand. “You know she was lying?”

“Of course. I’m not an idiot. Her lies were obvious, but to the unpracticed ear, they’d go unnoticed. She seemed earnest enough when she told me she cared about you, and so I...had her keep an eye on you.”

Adrien felt his skin crawl. “She...spied on me?”

“Hmm. Spied is a little strong of a word. Just reported back to me the goings on of your classmates.”

“I mean,” Adrien began, sheepishly. “If you wanted to know, you could have just asked. I would have told you.”

“I should have. I see that now. Lila was obviously abusing my trust and taking advantage of you. She probably assumed she could get away with anything as long as she reported everything else.”

Adrien wiped his sweaty palms on his pants. He desperately needed a shower after this conversation.

“I feel kind of violated.”

“I understand. Lila had no business to touch you without your consent.”

“No, I mean, yes, that was very violating, but I meant, your spying on me. I thought you trusted me?”

“I do. Adrien, I do. Lila told me you were being manipulated by unsavory types. I now know that she was talking about herself. What you said about her lying to get Miss Dupain Cheng in trouble really hit me. We will be dropping her as a model, and I’ll be speaking with my lawyer in case she decides to turn her silver tongue on us.”

Adrien sighed in relief. “Thank you father.”

“You know if someone ever touches you in a way you don’t like, you’re allowed to say no. Right?”

“I...yes. I guess.”

“You guess?”

“Well, I just...it happens all the time. Models and stuff. Lila was just doing it off set too.”

Gabriel frowned in thought. “Does modeling make you uncomfortable?”

“No. Not really. Just...some of the times in like, couple shoots?”

“I see. I’ll look into getting you more solo sessions.”

This conversation was going a lot better than he expected. His father had certainly lowered Adrien’s expectations, but at least he was admitting allowing a teenager to spy on him was a bad idea.

Progress.

“Now, about Miss Dupain Cheng.”

Adrien winced.

“What’s your...relationship, currently?”

“Right this minute, we’re still just friends. But very soon, I hope to be dating her.”

“Mmmm. You’re still very young, Adrien.”

“I know. But too young to love?”

His father gave a little chuckle. “You are so much like your mother. I suppose it would be hypocritical of me to prevent you from dating, since I dated at your age as well. Marinette has certainly proved to be an upstanding girl. Her family name is well known and respected, even in elite circles. If you wish to date her, you have my blessing.”

Yes!!

“But I would like to have dinner with her and her family, once you do ask.”

“Yes father, of course. Thank you!”

Today wasn’t so bad after all. Of course, it hurt to see his lady in so much pain, but he had been able to bring her so much happiness! And now this!

“There’s one more thing I wanted to talk about.” Gabriel took a very serious tone.

“Okay?”

“Do you trust me?”

“I—yes! Yes of course father.”

“Good. Because I need to show you something. Something I should have shown you a long time ago.” He stood, and walked to the painting of Emilie behind his desk.

[twothumbsandnostakeincanon]

Have I talked on here about my fake exes bachelorette au?? I feel like maybe I haven’t. It’s something I obsess about like, once every six months so I’ll probably never write it, but let me talk about it for a minute.

Peter and Stiles are both contestants, competing for Lydia/Kira/idk Deaton maybe or whoever, and they immediately start off at level 10 snark. There is no off switch. They’re enjoying themselves immensely, and most of the cast and crew can see that their barbs aren’t actually hurtful, just a little abrasive.

But if you take away the context of their comments, like any good reality show does, their interactions instantly become much more Spicy.™

Sometime after a week or so of shooting, a producer gets them alone and suggests that they pretend to be exes.

Peter and Stiles are 100% up for the game.

Anyway here have a few snippets that are never going to grow into anything else:

“I didn’t come here to make friends, I came to win.”

“Really? What a bummer. ‘Cause, you know, the real treasure was the friends we made along the way, so that’s why I came. Plus the food. The catering is amazing, have you tried- where are you going?” 

A camera followed Hale as he walked away from Stiles, rolling his eyes. Stiles stayed where he was, smirking. His eyes were immediately drawn to the very well tailored retreating ass. After all, this was reality TV, ergo everyone here was unrealistically beautiful. It would be an insult to the genre for Stiles not to properly appreciate it. 

__________

“Where are my pants???”

Peter raised an eyebrow. “Normally I would assume they’re on your legs, but apparently that’s not the case.”

Stiles wiped his still-dripping hair out of his eyes, just in time to see Peter’s eyes travel down toward the towel wrapped around his waist. It was tempting to make a remark, but there was a slightly more pressing issue. 

“My pants, Peter. Where are they. I left them my room when I went to the sauna and now every single pair is gone,” Stiles said with a scowl.

“Oh dear, I’m so sorry,” Peter drawled. “I was doing laundry and I didn’t have quite enough for a load. I saw your full basket, and decided you wouldn’t mind if I did some laundry for you.”

Stiles stared, trying to decide whether or not he was mad. Sure, he had no pants, but on the other hand, he also had no laundry… he sighed. 

“Whatever. You had to pick through my dirty laundry and I’m getting clean clothes out of it, so whatever.”

And with that he let the towel drop and walked away to the private yard. Some sunbathing sounded nice. 

While a little disgruntled that Stilinski hadn’t been more irritated, Peter couldn’t bring himself to think of his endeavor as a failure. Certainly not when he was watching those magnificent glutes flex on their way out the door.

__________

It was one of the very few times the cameras were turned off and no sound was being recorded. Stiles, Peter and the producer, Braeden, stood in a dim spare room, filled with various props and filming equipment. 

“You want us to what?” Peter said with disbelief. 

Stiles grinned with delight. 

“Pretend we’re exes!! Oh this is gonna be great, I’m totally in.”

“What??” said Peter again. 

“The little feud you two have going is great for ratings, but we were thinking that if you made it a little more… personal, then this season is really going to catch fire,” Braeden explained. “You don’t need to say anything explicitly untrue, just… insinuate heavily.”

“Oh no, if I’m going to do this, I’m going All-The-Way,” Stiles said with emphasis. “ ‘He left me barefoot and pregnant in the snow’ all-the-way.”

Peter snorted. 

“But dear, who got the dog in the divorce?” he asked sarcastically.

“Oh honey, we never needed a divorce, you left me at the altar,” replied Stiles, turning big, mournful eyes on Peter. 

Peter shook his head, and said, “I guess this is what I signed up for. What the hell, I’ll do it.”

“We’re gonna get so many endorsement deals out this!” Stiles said gleefully.

“Endorsement deals for what? Tinder?” Peter asked, a dubious eyebrow raised.

“Tinder, Grindr; if we angle it right I bet we could make a deal with a law firm that does D-list celebrity divorces.”

“What lofty goals you have,” Peter said dryly. 

“It’s why you fell in love with me, sweetheart,” Stiles replied, gooey eyed and saccharine sweet. “That and my gorgeous ass.”

Peter looked down speculatively. 

“I could overlook a lot for an ass like that,” he mused. 

“Oh, this is going to be so good,” Braeden whispered. 

__________

“Damn it!” Stiles cursed. Why did the challenge have to be asparagus?? Who even likes asparagus? Besides Peter, apparently, because he’d eaten the whole goddamn casserole in seven minutes and 13 seconds. 

As Stiles bent over with his hands on his knees, willing the casserole to stay down, Peter passed by and clapped a hand on his shoulder. 

“Better luck next time Stilinski,” Peter purred. 

Stiles’ eyes narrowed as he silently fumed. 

Two hours later, in front of the confessional cam, Stiles worked up an eyeful of unshed tears. 

“It makes sense that Peter would win today’s challenge… he’s always loved asparagus. I remember once, back when we were…” he let out a choked little noise. “…When we used to know each other, I once made him dinner. Asparagus and salmon… he never came home. He ‘worked late’ that night,” Stiles was sure to use air quotes for full effect, “like so many other nights. I ended up eating the leftovers myself.” Stiles gave a dramatic sniff and pasted a pathetic smile on his face. “I haven’t cared much for asparagus since then.”

_________

“… cared much for asparagus since then.” 

Shit, this was good. Bad for him obviously, thought Peter, but it was a good attack and it was really good TV. Braeden had been right. It was time to bring his A-game. 

_________

As the 9 remaining contestants rode the limo to the next destination, Peter leaned against the window and sighed dramatically, making sure his face was in full view of the car camera.

“Just look at that view! Stiles, look! Doesn’t it remind you of that trip we took to the Caribbean?” Peter said, with a fond look on his face. 

Stiles hummed noncommittally, unsure of where this was going, but knowing it probably wasn’t good for him. 

“The weather was gorgeous for that whole trip… it’s too bad I had to spend most of it inside that tiny hospital room.” Peter reached over and patted Stiles on the leg. “I’m just glad you didn’t let it get in the way of your fun while we were there. You still went scuba diving, and hiking, remember? And didn’t that nice dance instructor take you out for a practical demonstration? You hardly wasted any time in that chair next to my bed!” Peter chuckled. “I just hope you’ve gotten better at identifying what’s egg salad, and what’s crab salad. Don’t want to have to use my epi pen again!” 

And with that, they pulled up to their destination and Peter hopped out of the limo. 

Stiles’ mouth hung open for a moment before snapping shut. A few of the other contestants were staring at him, waiting for his reaction. Stiles shrugged. 

"We didn’t have a prenup.”

__________

“Shit!” Peter barely had time to catch himself with his hands before his leg gave way, sending him sprawling into the dirt. 

Their bachelorette waited at the end of the footrace, and while he’d been in the lead, Peter certainly wouldn’t be getting there first anymore. He eyed the hole he’d stepped in with vindictive anger, trying to ignore the throb in his ankle. 

He was just attempting to move it when Stiles shot past him, before almost comically windmilling to a stop. He turned around and jogged back.

“Peter? What the fuck are you doing on the ground?”

“Trying to get a date with the dirt,” he bit out through grit teeth, hissing when his ankle vehemently protested movement. 

“Stop it moron,” Stiles chided. “Look at it, it’s already swelling. Here-” Stiles swept his jacket off and balled it up, gently lifting Peter’s ankle to elevate it. Another contestant came around the corner and zoomed past them without a second glance. 

They both watched him go. 

“You just lost,” Peter remarked. 

“So did you,” Stiles pointed out, and then shrugged. “Whatever. Maybe this will win me brownie points.” He smiled a little crookedly. “Let me go get one of the production paramedics, and then we can get you an x-ray.” 

Peter rolled his eyes, firmly ignoring the soft little place inside of him that surfaced more and more when Stiles was around. 

“Stop being dramatic, it’s not broken.” 

Stiles looked at the ankle skeptically. 

“I dunno dude. Ankles aren’t usually that shade of purple. Or that puffy. You have like, the world’s largest singular cankle right now.”

“-Cankle?!”

“I’m your ex, you can trust me to call it like I see it.”

“Cankle!! I’m divorcing you.”

“We’re already divorced.”

“Fine, then I’m going to remarry you so that I can divorce you again,” Peter insisted. 

Stiles’ crooked smile grew. 

“I don’t think that’s the theme of the show, Peter.” 

They were still sniping when the paramedics arrived a few minutes later, bachelorette in tow, who had plenty of kisses for both the injured hero and the rescuer.

Anyway obviously this ends when they get caught making out because they forgot to take off their mics. 

[mult1tude]

TWO STARS ✰ AN ETHAN NESTOR STORY — CHAPTER 1

story synopsis: adele belanger, an upcoming star begins to fall in love with a man named ethan nestor after doing a press junket to promote her upcoming series that’s going to push her fame further than she expected. will problems arise?

word count: 3k triggers: none

     adele belanger - the name spoke few and far on the dazzling and glamorous world of hollywood. celebrated for her roles in roles in indie films produced and created in canada, where she was born and raised, she is soon due a big break as she was in the process of getting ready for the rest of the world to know she was starring in netflix’s latest series.

saying the heat resonating from beneath her laptop was hot was an understatement, she didn’t dare to budge or move it in the slightest as she restlessly refreshed the youtube page waiting for the trailer to pop up, almost wearing out the button on her keyboard. the sable black strands at the nape of her neck that had evaded her grasp as she hurriedly tied a ponytail began to itch at her skin but she didn’t have time to fix it, not until the trailer was posted.

after what felt like a lifetime, her eyes were quick to notice a new thumbnail appear on the page and she reactively clicked it, pressing the mousepad button-down slightly too hard out of excitement. the entire video played, a beaming smile was plastered across her face, her dimples displayed prominently as she approached the end of the video. the young actress felt like a firework in a glass jar, so much excitement contained inside of her as she brushed the laptop from her lap, jolted from her rumpled bed and clenched her fists as she excitedly hopped around her tiny apartment and squealed. adele rushed to the dust speckled mirror that was hung near her front door that had a few dozen, in a hyperbolic sense, of her unused coats after moving from canada. she deeply exhaled as she examined her face, noticing her own excitement couldn’t even contain itself as a smile sidled upon her lips as she delicately let out a few words. “i’m going to be famous.”

her emotions shot off again like fireworks, her chest fluttering and her palms tingling and red from the nails she didn’t realise she had dug so deep into her own skin. but it didn’t matter, adele was finally making the biggest leap possible into her career - it was everything she ever wanted.

“ok, i need some water.” she softly spoke to herself, taking another deep breath as she headed towards her apartment’s small open-planned kitchen. her shaky hands picked up a bottle of water from the fridge; she vowed that she would never drink l.a’s tap water after hearing an endless conglomeration of negative things from acquaintances and friends after moving only 6 months ago.

swigging it back and almost completing most of the bottle, she slapped it onto the counter whilst letting out a satisfied gasp for air. a few drops making wet patches on her eggshell coloured sweatshirt that may or may not have a few foundation marks around the neckline. a sudden change of thought, she remembered she needed to send the link to all of her friends and family if they already hadn’t seen it. adele slid the phone from her sweatpants noticing she was already getting congratulatory messages from some of her friends and even people that she hadn’t spoken to in a while. moreso, a lot of the messages from her friends were them completely fangirling over the fact that she had in fact worked with henry cavill.

adele replied to and messaged everyone she needed to before opening twitter and the rest of her social media to find that they were starting to blow up, multiple people talking about how cool the show looked and how excited they were. a lot of them were generic but few mentioned how intricate and interesting adele’s sidekick companion character seemed which made her stomach twirl once more and she felt like she had her ego stroked enough it would last the rest of the week. she put aside her phone and began to practice her bedtime routine before throwing herself back onto her bed where she only was an hour ago. her head smacking her pillow must have activated a switch because adele immediately felt her eyes involuntarily shutter closed and before she knew it, she was fast asleep.

                                                         ✰

today was the first day of recording stuff for the press. needless to say, adele was super excited. from what the actress was able to gather from her manager jenna, since henry cavill was known to be such a huge gamer online, buzzfeed had organised the cast to play the game version of the new netflix series with a few special guests. it was undeniably going to be a great day and a great way to start the press junket as it progressively and eventually got more tiring and mind-numbing. plus, she had gamed a bit before so it would be funny if she were able to show up a few of her cast members, especially henry.

at 8am sharp, the assigned makeup and hairstylist, and wardrobe stylist arrived at her apartment. she was so giddy with excitement that she wanted to run around and shout and tell everyone but she had to sit silently for the meantime as the makeup artist worked on her face. edging elation bubbled through her every vein as they talked about varying outfits to wear, expensive designer brands she was allowed to borrow. she felt like a proper celebrity.

finally, the crew decided on a casual look for today. her slate black, silken hair was bundled in a half-up loose french plait whilst the rest of it waved down just below her shoulders, the front strands falling in front of her face. light and delicate makeup that made her eyes shine and sparkle like a glossy nephrite stone; the minimal makeup also allowed her ubiquitous, chocolate freckles to proudly be displayed on her face. polished, golden dangle geometric earrings to frame her heart-shaped face and overall elevate the look from simple to elegant. an ivory laced-back milkmaid top with puffed long sleeves, high-waisted, sun-bleached skinny jeans with a few sparse rips and shreds, tattered white thread entwined between the tears and loosely hanging like vines. to finish off the look was some pearly white stilettos and few rings as well as a similarly styled necklace to match the earrings.

“i feel, amazing.” adele faltered in disbelief as she longingly stared at herself in the mirror, turning to the crew exhibiting an approving smile. “thank you.” she softly spoke before squeaking with excitement as she danced on the spot causing her team to giggle in response. “time to get going!” she excitedly commanded herself as she made a poor attempt at trying to control her out of rhythm breathing. the exhilaration and eagerness began to convolute into a ball of anxiousness and fret. it was something new and different which was scary but she didn’t want it to hold her back. another deep breath and she made her way to the contemporary, modern lobby of her apartment block where she spotted the black suv through the towering glass front doors in which her chauffeur was waiting for her.

“per jenna’s request,” the chauffeur nodded towards the coffee in the cupholder. adele wrapped her hand around the starbucks cup — still hot. “vanilla oat milk latte?” she asked as she brought the almost searing coffee to her lips, the steam floating upwards and brushing past her skin. the chauffeur nodded as he put the vehicle into gear and started to head towards the destination. effortlessly, the sweet drink passed her lips as she took a few sips before she threw her head back in a satisfied manor. surely the coffee would help with the nerves and just overall elevate her mood. she scoured her social media for a short while, taking breaks to finish the rest of her drink before they arrived. it’s l.a, so it was always bound to take a while even if it just was a few blocks over.

discreetly, the car pulled into the back entrance where she was able to enter without getting noticed and was directed to a very bright and lively reception where the young actress signed in. her heels clicking against the laminated wooden flooring as she followed the operations manager who was indistinctively talking through the black earpiece attached to her ear and was clutching a clipboard to her stomach. a few corridors later they had arrived, the manager twisted the handle to the door and entered, allowing adele to trail behind her.

almost blinding, the room was filled with numerous studio lights. littering the floor almost completely, cables and all different sorts of leads and plugs lay disorganised on the floor. a huge monitor was placed in front of the white screen which was the focus of all the beaming lights. “hey adele!” vocalised the director as he approached her, also bearing a black earpiece. “so the premise of today’s shoot is quite simple. you’re going to be playing the game with our two guests over here,” he briefly motioned towards two gentlemen sat in the corner of the room chatting and chuckling between themselves clearly in a world of their own, “and we’ve paired you with henry because we only have two controllers and we want to get everyone to be involved so the others are being shot later. does that sound good?” he queried, concluded his speech.

“of course.” she eagerly spoke with a grin. “great,” the director spoke as he adjusted his wire-frame glasses, “let me introduce you to the guests. they’re going to be guiding you along with the game,” he spoke, leading adele over towards the boisterous men who were still conversing right up until adele and the director were stood only a few metres away.

“mark?” adele apprehensively suspected as she reached her hand out to his, inviting the suave gentleman to shake hands. “yes!” he answered in a shocked yet pleased tone as he stood to be polite and accepted the handshake with a beaming grin. “i think i watched a bit of your stuff a while back,” adele admitted before briefly catching eyes with the other guy who was staring up at her with gleaming eyes and a dopey yet adorable smile. “i’m honoured,” mark softly spoke before looking down at the other guy who was now standing to follow suit. “this is my friend ethan,” mark continued, placing a firm grip on his pal's shoulder.

“hi, nice to meet you.” ethan spoke in a much more gentle manner than mark did as he reached his hand out to replicate the greeting. “nice to meet you too,” she replied, reciprocating the greeting. “have you watched my stuff too?” ethan asked with a bashful smile as he ruffled his hair with his painted black fingernails. adele hesitantly shook her head not wanting to hurt his feelings, “no, but if it’s anything like mark’s stuff i’m certain it’s great.” she stated looking back at mark who had an affirming smirk on his face as he looked down at his younger friend who’s face had started to flush pink.

“henry is meant to be here right now, but he isn’t,” the director addressed somewhat annoyingly, “i’ll go and have a word to see where he is you can just stay here and talk to each other.” the director stated before hurriedly making his way to the door which adele entered through. she sat down in one of the spare seats that sat opposite the boys as they sat down once more.

“can i just say i watched the trailer this morning and i can’t wait to watch it.” he admitted as he began to pull at the strings of his coal-black hoodie. “thank you, it really means a lot,” adele’s cheeks blushed as she began to fiddle with the rings on her fingers yet still keeping her eyes on the boys. “seriously. we’re not just saying this it looks fantastic,” mark chirped in enthusiastically as he leaned forward in the seat, “i’m never usually this excited about a new series. so congrats!” he admitted with a deep chuckle, looking towards ethan who was nodding in agreement.

the conversation was silenced when a huge figure walked through the door followed by the director and operations manager. the director hastily wagged his fingers at adele and the boys who obediently made their way over. “adele!” henry happily bellowed in his charming english accent as he pulled her into a gentle hug, remembering he probably was over two times her size. “long time no see,” she affirmed as she hugged him back before breaking their embrace. her eyes involuntarily wandered over to ethan as the director began briefing henry. ethan quickly darted his eyes to the director as if he just hadn’t been gazing at her causing adele to grin to herself as she put her concentration back to the director.

“great, so follow me and i’ll seat you.” the director asserted as he walked towards the chairs in front of the white screen, two at the front and two at the back yet not parallel to each other. the front seats were more centred whilst the back two were offset so nobody would be getting in the way of each other when seated.

“adele if you sit in the front left seat, henry in the right.” he requested as he took a step behind the camera and watched the monitor to see if it was what he had envisioned. adele and henry sat which the director reacted with a thumbs up. “okay, ethan if you sit on the left and mark on the right please.” the director concluded as he continued to watch the monitor. the boys did as they were told before mark immediately remarked. “gosh it’s bright behind here,” he joked shielding his eyes as he laughed, eliciting a few giggles from everyone as the director adjusted some of the studio light placement with a few apprentices.

after everything was adjusted to the directors liking, they were ready to roll. the director placed his 3 fingers up as he counted down whilst mouthing the numbers. the thumb was up, which meant everyone introduced themselves and surprisingly it didn’t need multiple takes. “today, adele and i are going to be playing the symbols of shadows game which is very similar to the new series on netflix september 4th.” henry beamed, clutching the xbox controller in his hand as he looked over towards adele. “and i’m going to win. i’m going to beat henry.”

henry scoffed, dismissing adele’s statement as mark and ethan giggled behind them. “we’re also going to try to help, but it looks like they’re gaming experts,” mark spoke, wavering his tone with the last two words as he jokingly mocked adele and henry. “well, there’s only one way to find out.” ethan spoke energetically in a slightly goofier voice than what he was speaking in before. ethan looked at mark before they both turned towards the camera with a raised eyebrow. “okay great. we’ll cut there. let’s load the game up.” the director approved, leaning back in his chair, fixing his corduroy jacket as one of the apprentices loaded the game up and set up the first level. “we just want you to complete the first level so don’t try and rush.” the apprentice handed back the controller to adele as he quickly rushed out of view.

the camera began to roll again and the pair began to get a grasp of the controls and the setting of the game as they intentionally tried to set each other up in the game: pushing one another of the map, friendly fire, stealing points and collectables, and deliberately annoying each other which resulted in many laughs around the room. matter-of-factly, ethan and mark didn’t really do anything to help, however, they did make for a great commentary and supplied multiple belly-aching jokes.

the screen faded to black as they’d finished the first level; mark and ethan clapped and congratulated the pair in between giggles as adele and henry carried on the bit and refused to display any means of sportsmanship. “guys, i don’t know about you but i definitely won.” henry retaliated as adele shook her head and rolled her eyes. mark and ethan were laughing so hard it was almost silent. “this was a team game,” mark giggled as the pitch in his voice heightened. “let us know in the comments who you think won. because it was moi.” adele stated confidently, trying to hide the smile that wanted to appear on her lips so badly. the pair promoted their netflix series as they wrapped up filming. “okay, great. that’s everything. thanks, guys.” the director spoke as he picked up his macbook from the desk and began typing away. “if you just wait here until someone comes and collects you,” the director struggled to speak as he was too busy multitasking. he pressed the side of his earpiece and spoke to himself as he called for the cast to be escorted.

“you’re really good, i was impressed.” ethan spoke to adele softly, as everyone got out of their seats. “you really like to flatter me don’t you.” she joked which caused ethan to halter in his thoughts for a moment. “it’s not a bad thing,” she reassured him, “it’s really nice to hear. especially coming from you.” delicately spoke, eyes quickly moving over to see if anyone was listening but mark and henry were engulfed in their own conversation. ethan’s cheeks flushed pink again as he displayed a meek grin.

he was about to respond when the door re-opened and the manager stepped through, immediately grabbing everyone else’s attention. ethan bit at his lip as anguish washed over his face as he realised the conversation was over. adele was disinclined for a moment, lingering for a few more seconds as the butterflies in her stomach began to fade. “it was nice talking to you. talk soon?” she asked which brightened up ethan’s face as he nodded, “of course. see you soon.” he timorously spoke with a contemptuous smile as he waved goodbye, for now.

[narcissasdaffodil]

Flufftober 2020

Day 10: Cooking

Writing this one from the same uni verse as two of these are currently.

“Hi, I was wondering if you would want to come over for food? It’s fine if you’re busy, but most of my flatmates are out so pretty much got the kitchen to myself.” Alecto read aloud the text in front of her, checking it through before she sent it off to Marisol, and sent it. She sat on the sofa, trying to find something to watch and ultimately failing. Why is there absolutely nothing on certain days of the week, anyway?

“Thank you, you’ve saved me from dealing with the state the kitchen is currently. Abby and I are the only people who clean up after ourselves, the rest of my flatmates are animals. I’ll be over in 10 ish minutes and let you know when I’m outside.” Marisol sent her a text back very quickly, which caused Alecto to laugh slightly. Wow. Both her and Abby have definitely drawn the short straw in terms of flatmates. You’re lucky, you mostly get along with everyone in your flat.

The kitchen was pretty quiet, meaning that Alecto jumped when she heard voices coming down the hallway. The door opened and someone flopped down next to her. She looked up to spot her flatmate Olivia.

“Still nothing on, then? Maybe try Netflix or watching a film? Also I bumped into Marisol as I was coming back, as you can probably tell.” Olivia grinned, curling up her long limbs into a ball and resting her chin on her knees. “Wait, did I make you jump? Oops.” She tapped the sofa, looking up at Marisol, who was still standing and moving from foot to foot, looking uneasy. “You can sit down if you want, we don’t bite or anything.”

Alecto put the remote down on the coffee table and put her other stuff in a neat stack on it, making her way to her feet and struggling slightly to get out of the low brown sofa. “Maybe you’ll have a bit more luck than me? Also you made me jump, but everyone does! It’s not just you doing that. Is pasta fine? Got pasta sauce I need to finish somehow. Also, Marisol, you can sit down, just relax. You’re a guest here,and guests don’t have to do the cooking. I don’t mind doing the cooking, I’ve been very bored the entire day so I need to do something to save me going crazy.” She retrieved pasta sauce from the fridge, setting it on the counter and putting the kettle on to boil for pasta. She found herself humming slightly as she waited, eventually retrieving her phone and a speaker and putting music on low, putting her playlist on shuffle. She went to her room to retrieve her pasta, making Olivia laugh when she came back with the massive bag.

“There’s still a pasta thief hanging about, then? How much food do you have stored in your room, anyway?” Olivia teased her slightly, flashing her a bright grin.

“Hmm, that would be telling. You’ll forever live in suspense regarding the amount of food in my room. As for the pasta thief, definitely. Keep your pasta in your room, otherwise don’t come complaining to me if it goes on a walk!” She smiled back, her grin reaching her eyes. She tapped her nose and promptly winked, pouring the water into a saucepan with 3 portions of pasta. Wait, Marisol’s a little quiet. Which is a bit off, she’s not usually this quiet.

She finishes sorting out the pasta and jumps out of her skin when Marisol appears beside her. She felt her feet leave the floor for a little bit, literally making herself jump, and she placed a hand to her heart, which was racing. “Wow, you scared me! Are you okay, you seem a bit quieter than usual.” Her tone turned serious, and she rested her arm around Marisol’s shoulders.

“It’s nothing much, just flatmate stuff. If I wasn’t with Abby, I’d ask for a room move, but I don’t want to leave her, that wouldn’t be nice. They keep having late night parties and I have the bad luck of the room right next to the kitchen, so it’s hard to sleep, which isn’t helpful when I have a 9am lecture. I hear them gossiping about me and Abby a lot, and it’s wrong. It’s not like any of them even tried to get to know either of us before they judged us. I don’t understand how partying this often is enjoyable and how they can attend lectures after drinking the night before. On top of that, they leave the kitchen in a state after parties and they don’t listen when we ask them to clean up. It keeps getting worse also.” Her voice was soft and she stared at the floor in front of her.

“Hang on. Liv, is there still two free rooms next to you? As we had people move rooms in the first two weeks. If so, we could try asking if both of you could switch floors. That might solve the issue.” Alecto’s eyes lit up as she had a brain wave, and called over to Olivia.

“You...you’d do that? Why? We don’t even know each other that well.” Marisol looked back at her, looking a little confused.

“Abby’s my best friend. And she’s very picky with people she chooses to befriend and I like you. I do see you as a friend, Abby has definitely talked to me about you a lot. I do accidentally scare people off with the way I am naturally and it does take a lot for me to befriend people too, but I like you. I wouldn’t have suggested it if I didn’t mean it, anyway.” She turned to the pasta, stirring it with a fork to stop it sticking, then transferred the sauce to a bowl and warming it up in the microwave.

“Yep, there’s definitely two free rooms. It would be nice to have an even number of girls and guys to be honest, 5 guys to 3 girls can get a bit overwhelming at times. We do all get on, mostly anyway, which is a slight miracle.” Olivia called back from her position in front of the TV.

“Liv, could you get all of your crap off the table please? We kind of need that to eat.” Alecto called over. Marisol nearly went to help, until Alecto grabbed her hand gently.

“You’re a guest. Guests don’t have to do anything. All I want you to do is just stay with me here. Even if some of it is yours, Livia is very much capable of moving it herself.” Alecto said, her voice gentle and she smiled at Marisol, her heart fluttering slightly when the other girl returned the smile for the first time this evening.

She drained the pasta and served it into bowls, topping it with sauce, and putting cutlery neatly in each. She tried to balance all 3 bowls, but Marisol grabbed one before she could.

“Dont overload yourself, you’ve only got two hands. Let me help just this much.” Marisol said. To Alecto’s surprise, Marisol’s cheeks were slightly flushed. She ignored it, moving towards the table and setting down the bowls. Hang on! Drinks! Oh dear, can’t believe you forgot those. She stood up again, just as Olivia retrieved a giant Coke bottle and 3 glasses from behind the sofa, and opened the fizzy drink, pouring it into glasses. Alecto found herself staring at the bottle.

“How did you know that was there?” She was more than a little bit confused.

“That’s where I left it after my lecture. I was planning to move it when I got back, but forgot. I don’t know why I thought behind the sofa would be a good spot for it, but oh well. It doesn’t really matter, right?” Olivia laughed and nudged her gently to sit down again. Okaayy. That’s definitely odd, but don’t comment further on it. “I can practically see the cogs in your brain turning around. Don’t overthink it, it’s only a bottle behind the sofa.” Olivia laughed again.

To prevent further comments, Alecto readied a spoonful of the pasta, hoping she wasn’t blushing too much about the situation. She blew on it, and tried it. It was great, especially after accidentally skipping lunch. Everyone around the table fell silent, transfixed by the food in front of them. There was no sound apart from music.

“This is amazing! It’s obvious why I didn’t put up a fight about you taking over.” Olivia winked.

“Well...you’re the one who messed up while cooking popcorn in the microwave at 2am, and caused the fire alarm to go off. And you’ve nearly blew it up twice! So it’s not hard to be a better cook than you.” Alecto teased her slightly. It was no secret how hopeless Olivia was in the kitchen.

“That was you? That night was one of the only nights there was no party on my floor, but after the fire alarm went off I couldn’t sleep, which was hard considering the fact I had a 9am class that day! I had to survive off 2 hours of sleep, 5 cups of coffee and 2 naps, that wasn’t fun at all.” Marisol gasped, promptly glaring at Olivia.

“Oops. I’m hopeless, what can I say. I can offer you a free room, if that makes things better. We can talk with the accommodation people and ask Abby too, so you can have better flatmates and can sleep better. I’m definitely super serious about that, by the way.” Olivia reached out and squeezed Marisol’s hand gently.

Alecto looked out of the window, feeling herself zone out slightly. She was happy in a way she hadn’t experienced in a while, and she wanted more.