#i am . in such a state i forgot how awful this felt the first time around

[ilostyou]

“……….love me anyway”

[jselorekeeper]

Video Summarized

“Am I Retiring from YouTube?” Summarized for people who cannot watch but are anxious right now

1. Jack stated that he is NOT retiring just yet, he wants to eventually just not right now

2. He speaks about how he thought about retiring at the beginning of this year, but he feels as if he isn’t ready to move on. He was struggling with the content, the community, and the algorithm.

3. He talks about his breaks and how the algorithm makes it feel as if he’s failing, such as how “people forgot about him” or not being in others' feeds. Sometimes he felt as if people did not miss him.

4. He has been attempting other styles of videos because he feels as if it’s more fun and effective than doing it in parts.

5. He starts to talk about his Depression and how it affects him mentally which made him want to quit in the first place. His anxiety, depression, and more took a mental toll on his work saying that he feels awful for not doing the things he wants to.

6. He talks about how negative comments have affected him and it was starting to bother him over the years. The comments were slowly chipping away at him and his content.

7. He talks about TOTM, and egos, and the podcast has helped a lot with his content stating that it is a nice break from YouTube itself.

8. He feels as if he has about 2 years left in his system for YouTube, stating that he wants to expand into bigger projects and make things. He eventually wants to write a book, getting more into the creative process.

9. He said he has more things that he was to do within his time left, but overall he hasn’t been happy with doing YouTube for a while.

10. He said he wants to connect with the community more and this year he just wants to try to get a better connection. He just wants to make things that are fun and wanna not have to overthink everything.

[gyundo]

“I’m so glad I forgot my towel”

Dong Si Cheng (WinWin) x Male Reader!

SMUT!! DNI if under 18!!

Gege kink, muscle kink, underwear kink, size kink

Plot: Y/N is a first year college student and he develops a crush on winwin, his first friend. Little does he realize the implications and depth of Winwin’s attractiveness.

It was Y/N’s first year of college. Choosing to attend a big state university, Y/N was scared that he would drown out in the sea of students and be forgotten once again.

Y/N had always been a quiet boy who kept to himself in high school. He never had many friends due to his interests in drawing, which kept his social battery satisfied. That being said, Y/N never had a crush either.

Ultimately choosing to study Mandarin, Y/N was excited to start in a place where nobody knew him as a quiet nerd who was always drawing all the time.

Y/N’s major was relatively small, yet something (someone one) else that caught his eye wasn’t.

Dong Si Cheng, the prettiest boy Y/N had ever seen, was sitting in the middle of the classroom when Y/N chose to take a seat next to him, entranced by his beauty.

His perfect pecs showing through his compression shirt, and his large back highlighted through its disparity with the back of the chair made Y/N’s heart skip a beat. He had never been attracted to anyone, let alone another boy.

And above all, winwin’s face was so perfect that even a greek sculptor couldn’t have thought of it. His luscious, elegant, and plump lips made Y/N feel a certain way. His eyes, full of warmth and mystery, made Y/N want to get to know him better. But his hair, was the best styled hair Y/N had ever seen.

So simplisitic, yet sicheng’s face was perfectly framed by his evenly cut hair.

“H-Hello, I’m L/N Y/N. ” Y/N muttered as he sat down, staring at Winwin.

“Hey there, I’ve never seen you before. My name’s Sicheng by the way. What year are you?” Winwin questioned.

As the conversation went on, not only Y/N come to realize that only to add to his list of perfections, Winwin also had a great voice, but that he was also one year older than Y/N. Y/N had forgotten that due to his advanced level, he was placed in a second year class.

Winwin asked Y/N to eat lunch with him that day, a gesture which warmed his heart, as nobody had ever asked Y/N for lunch before. He was always used to sitting alone in the cafeteria.

As time went on, Y/N and Winwin got to know each other. Y/N always felt flustered by the interested his senior showed in him and his interests, and he always found himself blushing when he saw the elder in especially attractive clothes.

“Gege—-,” Y/N would often call out when WinWin would grab a drawing object of his and hold it out to where Y/N could not reach it. Y/N was a short boy, (Y/N height) cm, and his precious Sicheng-ge always towered over him at 183 cm. He was always in awe whenever he saw his gege’s large hands, long legs, and well-built body. They sparked a feeling in him that made Y/N want to touch him.

Eventually, Y/N started wondering how large Winwin’s other body parts would be too.

“Wh-WHY am I thinking about how big THAT would be,” Y/N once questioned himself.

Although Y/N was confused about what he felt, he definitely knew it was well beyond what was to be expected in a crush. He knew his senior’s body made him feel a certain pressure in his lower body, although he didn’t know what to do about it.

Eventually, Y/N and Winwin’s friendship got to the point where winwin would often come to Y/N’s house to study with him or just to talk to him and tease him. Winwin also developed a small liking for the small boy. His cute little hands and angry pout whenever he hid something Y/N needed made him feel so precious to be able to share those moments.

It even got to the point where Winwin would stay for days on end, and even a part of Y/N’s closet had Winwin’s clothes for when he’d sleep over instead of in his dorm.

One day, on his usual trip back from the gym, winwin realized he forgot to bring clothes to change into after his workout and shower.

Thinking it was no big deal, winwin took off his shirt and walked over to Y/N’s place to help the younger with some of the idioms or cheng yu, that he was struggling with memorizing.

However, a monster awoke inside Y/N when he saw his half-naked gege opening the door to his apartment.

The washboard abs, strands of hair cling to his forehead with sweat, along with the well defined biceps and pecs that Y/N admired out in the open, was too much for him to bear.

Just as winwin was about to sit down, he also took off his sweat-drenched shorts next to Y/N before sitting down with only his boxers on. The smell of sweat with winwin’s musk made Y/N instantly blush and he felt his own asshole begin to quiver.

Y/N was unable to memorize any cheng yu, trying to memorize the shape of winwin’s muscles instead and trying to sneak a peak at the shape of his bulge instead.

He did, however, get to see Sicheng’s well developed thighs, which he wanted to touch so badly.

Winwin got up quickly, saying, “Y/N, you’ve been really out of it today. I hope you’re okay and I’ll go take a shower here before we try it again, okay”. He hugged Y/N to show his support, unaware that the waves of musk made Y/N feel a huge pressure in his lower body.

Just As Winwin was about to go into the bathroom, he took off his underwear outside and headed in to take a shower.

Y/N quietly sitting at the dining table, still reeling from the pheromone influx he got from the hug, was not ready to smell a huge amount of winwin’s musk again. It was like winwin’s underwear was a candle, releasing scent everywhere.

Y/N, feeling dizzy, walked to winwin’s underwear and slowly brought it to his mouth and nose. He began to sniff it deeply, and it brought out moans that Y/N had never made before. He quietly took the underwear with him to his bedroom, where he thought he could sit until his erection subsided.

However, Sicheng quickly rushed out of the bathroom and forgot to knock before opening Y/N’s room.

“Do you have a—-,” Winwin was about to ask, before he spotted Y/N, with his eyes closed, sniffing his briefs loudly.

Quietly walking over to Y/N, he shook the boy before admitting, “I didn’t know you where into me like that, Y/N.”

Y/N was left speechless as winwin got on top of him and started kissing him. Oh, how Y/N had wanted to know how his gege’s lips felt.

Winwin ripped off Y/N clothes and brought his cock close to his mouth before quietly putting the tip in his mouth.

“No-Gege-AAAH,” Y/N exclaimed as winwin quietly sucked on his cock. Sicheng, excited that Y/N was so attracted to his body, was excited to see his reaction when Y/N would finally see his cock.

“Now, it’s time for you to do that to gege with your small, cute little mouth,” Winwin grinned at Y/N.

Y/N was shocked as he saw his gege’s huge cock, roughly about 10 inches long, with a fat vein on the right side. His boy pussy felt extremely shaky, as it quivered upon this sight.

“Suck on it, baobei,” Winwin said as he brought Y/N’s mouth closer to his cock. As if it was instinct, Y/N immediately wrapped his lips around winwin’s cock, which barely fit in his small mouth.

Feeling winwin’s large hand on his head guiding him, Y/N began deepthroating Sicheng’s dong, while enjoying the heat winwin’s large fingers were exerting on his head.

Winwin had never felt such tightness in his life, and he rolled his eyes back as Y/N stared at his abs and thighs, touching them with his little hands.

Tears began to come out of Y/N eyes as his gege’s cock was still trying to fit in his mouth all the way. His throat felt full and despite being unable to breathe, the sweaty, musky taste of his crush’s large dick made him feel like he ascended to a seventh heaven. His nose in winwin’s crotch, the center of all the musky glory, made his stomach churn and want to taste more.

As winwin pulled his cock out of Y/N’s mouth, he could tell Y/N wanted something. Y/N immediately stood up and started licking Winwin’s armpits.

“Gege, I want to- I want to taste the way you smell. You smell so manly and good I can’t get enough of it,” he proclaimed as winwin flexed his biceps, which Y/N quickly moved his lips over. Winwin then sat down on the bed, and Y/N moved his mouth to Sicheng’s crotch, inhaling it over and over as he licked Sicheng’s huge dick, and sucked on his balls, as winwin continued to moan.

“Gege, I need something more, and I want more of this addictive feeling, but I don’t know what else we can do. I feel sad when I think this is the limit of how much I can absorb you.”

“Xingan, there’s much more we can do. Just be prepared for this to hurt a little bit,” Winwin moved his hands to Y/N upper chest, where he toyed with his nipples and then moved his fingers up to Y/N’s mouth.

“A natural slut,” Winwin thought as Y/N sucked his fingers like he enjoyed every ounce of musk on them. Y/N was so addicted to the feeling of winwin’s large body on top of him and feeling his large hands all over his chest, that he wasn’t prepare for when sicheng’s fingers began to touch his asshole.

“GEGE, it’s dirty there,” Y/N complained as Winwin pushed one finger inside, “ah-UNG”.

Y/N, as if instinctively for his virgin self, began to spread his legs open wider for winwin to finger him at a better angle.

Drool came out of Y/N’s mouth as winwin’s long finger hit a spot inside him. “AAANG,” Y/N yelled.

“Gege’s gonna push his huge cock inside this virgin bussy of yours and wreck it so good, you won’t be able to walk next week. I’m gonna make you pregnant and give you a present for saving yourself just for me,” Winwin said with a sexy smirk.

Y/N put his hands on Sicheng’s huge, muscular shoulders, as he was unprepared for what was to come. Thoughts about how it would feel and whether his ass could ever stretch back were overpowered by excitement of taking his gege’s oozing manliness and being able to interact with his large body.

Yes, what Y/N had subconsciously wanted all this time was to be dicked down by winwin, and treated like his personal boy toy. He wanted to be bred by the possessor of such a huge, muscular body. He wanted to feel his large body parts all over his petite frame and to marvel at the size difference.

“You ready?” Sicheng asked as he aligned his top at Y/N’s entrance. Y/N nodded, and Sicheng began to rub his tip up and down Y/N’s entrance to not only make Y/N want him more, but to also make precum for his cock to slide in easier because once sicheng would penetrate him, he wasn’t going to stop until he and Y/N cum repeatedly.

Seeing Y/N’s eyes that screamed he needed to be fucked, Sicheng pushed his large cock roughly into Y/N’s cute hole all at once. Tears immediately formed at Y/N’s eyes, as he hadn’t felt anything inside his ass before, but now a large, 10 inch cock was bulging his stomach and his hole felt overstuffed.

However, just the thought of Winwin inside of him and touching his still-sweaty back, Y/N’s horniness overpowered everything, even the pain and small drops of blood that came from the tiny rips from Sicheng’s huge cock penetrating him so roughly.

“Sorry, my precious Y/NN, I just couldn’t stand it anymore and I wanted to give you the cock you’ll be getting for the rest of your life right now,” Winwin said as he sluttily kicked his lips.

Y/N immediately began moaning, “AAAH SO-SO GOOD,” as Sicheng began to move his cock in and out of Y/N’s small ass.

Y/N couldn’t stop touching Winwin’s abs and enjoying the feeling of his thick thighs on his own body, in fact, winwin’s thighs seemed to provide warmth all the way until 5 inches from Y/N’s ankles. He loved how the taller man encapsulated his being, and wanted to be wrecked even more by him.

Y/N continued to mutter “G-ge-GEGE,” as he would try to say how good it felt to be stuffed by winwin’s huge, sweaty cock and how nice the residetual sweat from his body felt to him, and how good it felt to be taking such a large man.

Winwin moaned as he felt his cock almost being cut off with the tightness of Y/N’s hole, and he repeatedly began taking half of his cock out and pushing it back into Y/N from a different angle to stimulate his prostate.

In a state of euphoria he had never felt before, Y/N’s body felt hotter than he knew possible, until Sicheng leaned over him to lick his lips.

Opening his lips out of pleasure, his senior swirled their tongues together in a marvelous dance that connected them in another, wet dimension, as they both felt they could enjoy this moment forever. As winwin broke the kiss and left Y/N’s entrancing mouth, a thick strand of saliva connected his and Y/N’s lips.

Winwin immediately increased the pace of his thrusts to keep his junior in a state of constant pleasure. Y/N continued to yell for more and winwin kept dicking him down, addicted to the feeling of using the small boy as a cocksleeve.

Growing to a proud 5.3 inches itself, Y/N’s cock turned red and rock solid as Y/N felt an unfamiliar churning throughout his whole body.

Seeing the younger’s obsession with his body and cock, winwin stuffed his underwear into Y/N’s mouth before proceeding to pound him mercilessly.

“Take that, you slut. You love my body and want me so bad, so take all of my huge dick. I’ll fuck you so good you’ll only want me from now on, and you won’t be able to cum without me. I’m gonna breed you and cream you so good, cum will be dripping out of your ass for hours”

Y/N’s hole seemed to grow wider as Winwin repeatedly pushed his manhood inside of it, at a rate that was only increasing. Y/N, on the other hand, felt his eyeballs roll all the way to the back of his head from taking winwin’s huge manhood, basking in his musk, and touching his large body.

Winwin’s slapping of Y/N’s ass made it unbearable, and as Winwin pushed his tip right next to Y/N’s prostrate, a huge amount of cum spurted out of Y/N’s cock, splattering Winwin’s abs and chest.

Y/N’s body, wanting to absorb and take as much Sicheng as possible, still kept taking and enjoying the overstimulation . Winwin flipped over Y/N so they were in a reverse cowboy position and moved his humungous, veiny cock back into Y/N’s hole with a speed unmatchable by animals in heat.

Clasping Y/N down and kissing him more as he groaned, Sicheng’s cock shook around Y/N’s organs as it reached its climax and shot a huge spurt of delicious, thicc, juicy cum all over Y/N’s formerly virgin walls.

Y/N loved this feeling and realized that no matter how great the drawings he made were, the best painting was inside his own anus, made by the one he found created sexier than all.

Cum leaked out of Y/N’s ass as Winwin took his cock out. So much semen was inside him that Y/N felt half as full as he did with Winwin’s cock inside him.

“Gege, I love this. You’re gonna make me pregnant.”

Winwin admired his work as his cum leaked out of Y/N gaping hole that he made that way, by the tablespoons.

“I’m so glad I forgot my towel,” Winwin said before pushing his still/hard cock into Y/N and beginning to do him again mercilessly for what would turn into 4 hours.

Author’s Note: I would like to say that this is the first fan fiction i’ve ever written, the first smut, and I wrote this at 3 am! Please feel free to leave a comment and let me know what you thought. I’d also like to dedicate this to @jiyeonnnn, one of my most favorite male smut writers on this website!

[aokoaoi]

Hi Hi!

Can you do a Norm Spellman x male! (Or gn!) omaticayan!reader?

(I genuinely haven't seen any norm fanfics and I'm so sad about it. )

Have a wonderful evening<3

norman spellman x gn!reader.

◗pairing's :: norman spellman x gn!reader.

◗ warning's :: tiniest avatar 2009 spoilers.

◗ author's note :: this is my first time writing a gn!reader, so their might be errors on how i referred the reader to. if you see any mistakes, please point it out, ill fix it right away<3 might write another norm spellman post too bcs i don't really like this one<\3

"What's that?" You peered over Norman's shoulder as he flipped over a ginormous book. He turns at you, looking at the side of your face as he was also confused. "It's a book. I thought you knew what those are?" He questioned.

You were another na'vi from the Omaticaya clan, a friend of Neytiri, Jake's mate. You learned the english language with Neytiri back when sky-people hadn't attacked the clan back then, and you've learned a lot from Kìreysì, who was also known as Grace Augustine.

Like other Omaticayas learning from her back then, you loved the woman and even called her your closes friend. You've never blamed her for what happened, and you even forgiven her unspoken apology.

You awed at the sight of the smooth, white papers, finding interest in it. "Oh, a book! Kìreysì taught me about this, but I kind of forgot." You chuckled nervously, sitting beside Norman. He notices your gaze on the book, and decides to give it to you.

Norm noticed how you sometimes stare at things you find interest in, and it gives you the curiosity and urge to learn more about it. You smiled at his actions, grateful you didn't have to ask to let him know.

Your eyes scanned the english dialog written on the pages. Some were far too deep for you to understand, but some you found familiar with. You flipped over the page, being extra careful with the object as you were scared you'd accidentally rip it.

You let out a sound similar of a coo when you saw the pictures of technologies plastered on the book. You pointed at one of it, and looked at Norman. "I know these, I saw you bring one here!" You smiled.

Norman fondly smiled at your speech, happy you're making bigger progress. "Yep, but if you see someone else bring it, it means danger. Okay?" Your ears twitched at the sound of the word, and suddenly you felt numb.

"Danger?" You frowned, "Why dangerous?" Your head tilted, confused. Norman licks his lips slightly, slowly forming his words in a nicer way to explain to you.

"Well, (nickname). These technologies aren't really safe, and they can harm you. It can even kill you," he notices your ears dropping down at his forwardness, but he continues. "These people carrying these are bad. They're not here to make friends, and they're only gonna harm you. You know about sky-people, don't you?" You nodded at his question.

"I'm one of the sky-people, but my human body is connected to an Avatar body right now, that's why I dont look human."

You frowned, "You're not sky-people. You're far more different from those cruel demons." You stated, brows furrowed as you were upset by his words.

"But I am sky-people. I'm human." You incredulously shook your head as he continued to tell you he's a sky people. You obviously knew about the man being human, and his body being connected to a na'vi Avatar. But you'd never put him in the same category as those merciless demons.

You liked Norman because of who he was, and how he was so different from the species he was related to. You even had to admit that you even had a soft spot for him.

"So you think I'm na'vi?" You also shook your head again at that question. Norman looks at you, confused as to what you're getting at. You noticed his look, and decide to explain yourself. "I know you're not na'vi, and i know where you came from. What I'm saying is that I don't consider you as those demons, because you're different than them."

"I'd rather shoot myself in the leg with an arrow than describe you in the same category as those creatures. You're far more than them, Norm." You grasped his hands with your own, watching as a small fond smile crossed through his face.

"Please don't shoot yourself in the leg."

You hummed, booping his nose with your pointer finger. You sat beside him, your shoulders leaning against his as you leaned your weight on him. "Dou you wanna go ikran flying with me?" You perked up, watching as he closed the book her was holding and placed it back inside his bag.

"Alright. But don't you remember the last time we did that?"

"You almost fell, yes. But that was partly your fault, you weren't holding on to me." You frowned, vividly remembering how the second Norman wasn't holding onto you, he was almost pushed off your Ikran's back.

Norman shrugged at your words, "i guess you're right." He admits, outstretching a hand out for you to take, hoisting you up fom the log you were both sitting on. You cheered happily, holding his hands as you lead him to the direction Hallelujah mountains were.

© aokoaoi

[mayisgoingnuts]

Enjoy a free pass to infodump about Roy and his parents 🎫

I am v curious about your thoughts :]

You heard them guys I got a free pass :D

ALSO I'M SORRY I TOOK SO LONG I FORGOT I PUT THIS IN DRAFTSS

Roy's parents

Uhh tw for family issues and a brief mention of S/A

Imma be honest, I feel like people see their relationship as either black or white when it's definitely NOT the case.

Black = Carmen and Richard are awful beings, they hate Roy, they won't let him do anything and would easily abandon him for money, I EVEN SAW SOME SAYING THAT THEY WOULDN'T CARE ABOUT ROY'S UNCLE. I'M SORRY I KNOW IT'S AU AND STUFF BUT,,, it makes me so so uncomfortable AAAAA

White = They're just quite arrogant and that's it, normal life and communication, nothing changes from a basic family besides the fact that Carmen and Richard are "ughh poor people". Also makes me uncomfy ngl, even tho it can be cute sometimes.

Both are ENTIRELY WRONG in my view.

First of all, (most of the cases, not all of them) no matter how much your parents suck, how much they treat you awfully or just are JERKS to you, if they did "the bare minimum", you'll stay attached to them no matter how much you don't want to. In Roy's case, I can see that they already spent a LOT of money on him and pretty sure that it already gave him good time and moments (plus gave him a nice childhood since when he was born his parents are pretty happy), so they're not 100% evil or bad. Plus, as much as he's scared, I can see that he also respects them in a way, otherwise he wouldn't even go through the "Can I say bye? You know, ehh?" scene, if he actually felt FEAR he wouldn't even open his mouth and much less sound that dry to them (personal experience cough cough)

Not to mention that Roy gets angry with people calling his mom a lady of the night, he wouldn't give 2 shits if he truly hated her 🫠

But they're definitely not oh so good either. They wouldn't communicate that easily if not at all, y'know those scenes where you have dinner with your parents and gets nothing but silence or, idk, the most boring conversations ever? Something like that, not to mention the obvious problem with accepting Roy's personality

AND TOWARDS ROY'S UNCLE. MY GOOOODDDDDDD AAAAAAAAAAAA IT MAKES ME GO CRAZY,, /NEG

I explained it before but saying it again, ROY'S PARENTS WOULDN'T JUST??? IGNORE???? OR VICTIM BLAME HIM EITHER?? PLEASE. The most realistic option here is having their support, and even there it wouldn't be all rainbows and such since they're not close. It would get a bit better between them? Definitely. 100%? Nuh-uh.

Carmen and Richard want the best for their son, a good future, a good life, a good job, good school, but they have an issue of not thinking about his emotional state and own personal tastes. Roy obviously get mad at them, get upset, but not now not today that he would say something like "I hope they die", and if he does he wouldn't mean it or would regret. Basically "I don't hate them, but I don't love love them either"

I feel like this sounds more like a rant than anything?? Sorry if it does, but I'm a bit tired to see people trying to explain their relationship in a black or white view when it's clearly not

[qutiesquish]

HEYY!! I was just thinking about Eugene Otinger with a male reader who has the same obsession with bees as him and Eugene is just like “he’s the one”

“Lame”

Short Story᯽

Authors words: sorry for taking forever- I had jack shit ideas for this just like I know Jack shit abt bees- speaking of that- I may have bullshitted my way through this cause I don’t know anything abt bees;-;

Word Count: 712

Character(s): Eugene Otinger

Pronouns: He/Him

Warning(s): Y/n has pathokinesis but that’s not directly(if at all) stated in this, I gave Y/n the last name Stygian, Ajax X Enid, not proof read, Enid is referred to as Wereblond instead of Werewolf like once,

“Lame.”

“Lame.”

“Lame.”

“Lame.”

“Lame.”

“Lame.”

“Lame.”

“Choir? Really? How…. Lame.”

Y/n groaned for what felt like the hundredth time, rolling his head back as he did so.

“I don’t get why I have to join a club. They’re all so—“

“Lame?” Ajax, Y/n’s childhood friend, mocked as he laughed at his friend's antics. “What’d you do your whole first year in that normie school then?”

Y/n looked at his childhood friend with a half hearted, annoyed glare. “None of them wanted a freak to join their club. You’d know that if you listened to me instead of gushing about your werewolf girlfriend.” The [taller]/[shorter] male said, rolling his eyes.

Ajax only rolled his eyes back to his friend before nudging him. “Hey, we still have one more club to check out.”

“Fuck my life…”

And that’s how they ended up in front of what seems to be an old tool shed. However what caught Y/n’s attention was the bees buzzing around the building, as well as the boy wearing bee protection gear.

“Well this is it.” Ajax gestured to the building before turning to Y/n. “But knowing you, you’ll probably find it lame too—“

Ajax is cut off by Y/n. “Hey, don’t you have a date with wereblond?”

“Oh my god! I totally forgot me and Enid had library duty today!” The Gorgon shouted. “I’ll see you later dude!”

Rolling his eyes as Ajax ran back to the school, he turned to the boy who was coming up to him.

“Hey! Are you here to join the bee-keeping club?” Y/n nodded. “Really?! Okay!- I’m Eugene Otinger, just call me Eugene, did you know you’re the second person that wants to join this club? Oh! And- what do you know about bees?”

“Y/n Stygian, dark, I know.” He joked. “Now uh- yes I am. Yes really. Okay Eugene. No, I didn't know that. And I know quite a lot, bees are pretty… cool.” Y/n answered all of Eugene’s questions.

“Woah! Did you just say bees were cool? I was told you thought everything was lame?”

“I do. Bees just so happen to be my favorite living creature, Ajax is a close second.” Eugene chuckled nervously at the male.

“W-well then… What do you know about bees?”

Eugene watched as Y/n’s eyes seemingly lit up. “Well for starters bees are—“ The [taller]/[shorter] male started to ramble on and on about everything and anything he could that had to do with bees as Eugene occasionally jumped in with excitement.

The two found themselves smiling and enjoying each other's presence as they continued to talk about bees for the next two hours. To anyone else they would’ve seemed like weirdos, passionate weirdos, but weirdos nonetheless.

And they were.

However, that didn’t stop them as they continued to talk, even as Eugene got out of his bee protective gear and walked back to school together, still talking about bees. Both of them waving their hands around and smiling as they walked through Nevermore hallways.

Y/n invited Eugene into his dorm, finding he has no roommate, and looked in awe as there were bee plushies and pillows on the bed, along with other bee related things. Eugene found that the stuff that took up most of the dorm was anime stuff, bees, or metal bands. Which was pretty cool in his opinion.

The two continued to talk in Y/n’s dorm for awhile, still about bees, and sometimes other stuff. However after Eugene finally left to go to his own dorm, he found himself thinking.

Y/n and him shared an interest in bees, and both only had like two actual friends. Not only that but they could both just communicate so well with each other, both finding out that the other also found it hard to talk to most people. It was just… perfect.

Y/n on the other hand was thinking similarly. To him, Eugene was like Ajax, “totally not lame” in his own words. Unlike Ajax, Eugene shared his interest in bees, which most people are creeped out by. It was also just so easy to talk to the other boy.

‘Could he be the one?’ They both wondered that night.

[bigbadivy]

Rest With Me

"One leg after the other,"

Hero said patienly. The short walk down the dark haklway seemed to go for years. Villain would throw a snarky comment, or try and banter to lighten the atmosphere but he was so tired.

"Here..."

Hero slowly helped him sit and unlocked her door. Villain looked up to look at her, realizing he didn't actually see her for the last two hours.

She was often the serious one between them, but he never saw her face this... Sparkless.

He couldn't find any words of comfort until she crouched down and helped him up again. Villain laid on the sofa, finally resting his sore muscles but not comfortable.

"Wait here. I'll get first aid."

Villain noted how different the appartment was from his last visit. It was messier, even messiar than it usually is, with documents and pictures and notes covering the floor and walls. The biggest pile of crumbled papers laid in front of him, circling a hand made map of the base they barely got out of.

It was really important to her, wasn't it? He signed loudly. Of course he ruined everything.

"I think I know how to take care of your arm, if there is anything worse we will call someone."

Hero sat in front of him, actually seeing him for the first time in a few hours.

"...Villain?"

His despareation was probably shown all over him. Damm it. He could at least save her the guilt.

"They won't ask anything. I would not risk you."

The pillows surrounding him didn't feel soft. He shouldn't be relaxed. He didn't deserve to.

"Villain, is... You... "

She signed placed her hand over his.

"You can tell me anything."

She tried to smile at him, but neither of them were in the mood for it and it died quickly.She took her hand away to take a bandage and start working.

The silence was awful. Hero cleaning his wounds was such a torture that it felt like a cruel joke. He should end this.

"hero..."

Villain gently pushed her hand away from his cuts.

"I'll get off your back. I just... You can go rest and I promise I'll be gone tomorrow morning."

Hero froze. She stared at him speechless, lips trembling.

"Why?"

That was all she managed to say.

"I..."

I am reckless and impulsive, but I can deal with it as long as I'm the only one who suffers from the consequences.I don't want to continue to be a burden.I have risked your LIFE.

"I- just-..."

How is he supposed to say it? Or anything at his state?

"Just leave me, hero."

The silence felt even worse now.Hero stayed still, her hand griping a wet towel. When she finally got up, instea of walking away she placed her free hand over his.

"I would never leave you,"

She said then, Villain tried to fight the butterflies he felt.

"it's only fair. You would never leave me when I need you."

"I..."

"You never did."

She pressed on his hand, leaving no doubt about the sincerity in her voice.

"You came for me today, like you always did. You stood up against Supervillain."

That's what he did, perhaps, but even with that he managed to put her in danger.Hero got captured purposely, ready to go into Supervillain's lair alone to try and rescue her friends.But the moment he saw her held up, he forgot his fear of Supervillain.

By attacking him he brought the entire lair on them."I-"

"You wanted to help."

He... Well he did but...

"I would have done the same. You know that."

She would. Villain caught himself smiling. When he looked up and saw her brighter smile, he pressed joined their fingers. Being still tired and bruised and scared, he could only look at his Hero with loving eyes. Relief and relaxation visible on her face.

He wants to believe her words so bad

"I'll get you clean up, we'll rest for a bit, then think of the next step."

He nodded, hoping that she understood how much he's committed. They will heal. They will not be broken. They will save her team. Together.

Hero sat on the couch beside, getting comfortable as she leaned in and got back to bandaging. He missed her warmth in his hand but felt himself relax.

And now, finally, both of them managed to rest.

[ourloveisforthelovely]

Never the Same Part 8

Regulus Black AU

Story Summary  Being Bill’s twin, you were always the supportive one. Now that you are stepping outside of your role everything is changing. For your family, it’s for the worse. For Regulus and yourself, it’s for the better.

Pairings: Regulus x Reader

Rating: Mature. Doesn’t follow the book

Part 7 Link 

______

Much to Regulus’ dismay, Walburga didn’t find a new place to “haunt.” Instead, she seemed to latch her claws in even tighter. She proclaimed that she would never leave her home. Nothing that either of her sons had to say could make her do something that she wasn’t ready to.

The good part was she started avoiding everyone and only came out of the master suite if she absolutely had to. This was just fine with Regulus and Sirius. Neither brother seemed overly joyed to have to deal with their mother. It reminded you of zoo keepers having to deal with a ravenous lion. If it wasn’t for Kreacher, you had a feeling that food would be just left at her door with no indication that it mattered if she ate or not. You wouldn’t have been surprised if Regulus and Sirius were playing rock, paper, scissors to decide who would be the unfortunate one to deal with Walburga that day.

You, typically, would have felt sorry for Walburga but after seeing the state that she left Sirius and Regulus in…your “give a damn” was slightly broken. There was also the fact that as your pregnancy progressed you were feeling worse with each day.

“How are you feeling?”

You sighed at Regulus’ question. Looking up from your pillow you gave him a frustrated look.

“Awful! My back hurts. My feet hurt. I don’t think I can stretch anymore and if I don’t stop vomiting…”

Regulus winced, slightly regretting asking that question. He wasn’t even sure why he did. Regulus knew that you were feeling awful. For some reason, he kept asking how you were feeling. If you threw something at him for asking, Regulus wouldn’t be surprised. Normally, you were perfectly sweet and patient but as the pregnancy was progressing… your patience was failing you.

“So…the same?”

Regulus added. You only stared at him. Regulus gave you an innocent shrug. You knew that he was probably as tired of you being pregnant as you were of actually being pregnant. He was too good of a man to say it, however.

“I am never doing this again. I used to want a big family but now I am thinking my parents are mental.”

Regulus chuckled as he moved to put his coat on. He was getting ready to go away for a week, which was also fueling your frustration.

“Well, lucky for you I have never had the desire to have a house full of children.”

You groaned.

“Good, because this is a one-and-done shot. I might possibly jump off of a building if I have to do this again.”

Regulus chuckled before kneeling down beside you. He gently pushed some of your hair away from your face and leaned down to kiss you.

“You can’t jump off of a building and leave me alone with all of these people. You’re the only one keeping me sane. Never mind the fact, that I know absolutely nothing about babies. What if I forgot ours somewhere?”

Regulus was relieved when you giggled.

“You wouldn’t forget them anywhere.”

Regulus blinked a few times.

“My mum and dad forgot me at a funeral parlor once.”

Your mouth dropped. Why this surprised you, you didn’t know. If Regulus told you that his father had forgotten his son’s name it wouldn’t have been entirely shocking. Orion Black seemed to be more of a conversational piece than a father and husband.

“Please tell me that you are joking.”

Regulus shook his head as his face darkened a bit. It was really no wonder that he turned out the way that he did. With his parent’s version of “love” it was a bloody miracle that he was able to talk to you in the first place…let alone be in a healthy relationship.

“Dead serious. I was alone with a corpse for like four hours until Sirius realized that I was gone. It was a lovely experience for a five-year-old to go through.”

You put a hand over your face. If you needed yet another reason to dislike your mother and father-in-law, you had one.

“That’s horrible! Regulus, you would never do something like that to your own child. You are a lot more self-aware than your parents apparently were. Why don’t you just sit this job out? Sirius can go for you.”

Regulus leaned down to kiss you again. He hadn’t told you the exact nature of this job. Something was going down at Hogwarts and The Order needed to get there fast. Regulus watched your face for a moment. He wanted to enjoy each moment looking at you…in case something happened. While Regulus didn’t plan on dying if something happened…he just wanted to enjoy the moment.

“It's already planned with me going. Sirius is going too. If you need me, Kreacher will be able to get to me quickly.”

You wanted to be selfish and tell Sirius to pack an overnight bag. He wasn’t the one expecting twins at any given moment. Regulus was. You had accepted the fact that the twins would probably come early. If Regulus was gone while you were in labor, you would personally throw the biggest tantrum on him that you could muster.

You also weren’t the least bit happy about being stuck in the house alone with Walburga. There were many other tasks that you would be doing versus being stuck in the house with your mother-in-law.

“Fine…if you have to…It seems like all of you are going. Is there something that you aren’t telling me, Regulus Black?

You asked as Regulus moved to stand up. He gave you an innocent look, praying that you would buy it. The last thing that Regulus wanted was to tell you exactly what you were missing out on. Regulus knew that if he told you where he was going you would demand to go. The further away you were from Hogwarts the safer you would be.

“Everything will be just fine. I promise.”

Regulus replied. He knew it was a lie. It was a bold-faced lie and he never should have done it but he did.

“Alright then. Please be careful. It's only a matter of weeks before the twins come and…I can’t do it without you.”

Regulus leaned down to kiss you once more.

“I’ll be back before you know it.”

Sirius stepped into the doorway to see if Regulus was ever coming along. He hadn’t said it but he was amazed at the turnaround Regulus made personally. What had been a moody sullen arrogant teenager had turned into the world’s best husband. You were the one thing that Regulus cared for the most in the world.

“Ready?”

Sirius questioned. Regulus’ grey eyes flickered to his brother before looking back to you once more. Putting a hand on the side of your face, Regulus forced a smile and again prayed that you were believing the bullshit that he was offering.

“See you soon.”

Sirius waited until the front door shut before turning to face his brother.

“You haven’t told her exactly what is going on at Hogwarts, have you?”

Regulus shook his head.

“No, she doesn’t need to know. I need to focus on the task at hand. I won’t be able to do that if she's running around fighting too. One of us will get killed and it will probably be me. Y/n is safe here with mother.”

Sirius muttered “fuck me” under his breath. If he knew anything, it would be the fact that you would be furious for not only missing what would be the biggest battle known to Wizardkind but the fact that Regulus lied. Sure, his brother’s intentions were good. No one’s pregnant wife needed to be putting herself on the line like that she needed to know.

“Reg, she’s going to be pissed.”

Regulus again glanced over his shoulder making sure that you weren’t anywhere nearby.

“Pissed or not, she and our children will be alive. She’ll forgive me soon enough. Now let's go and stop talking about this.”

The two walked in silence until Sirius started chuckling. Regulus’ eyes rolled over to his older brother with a scowl.

“What?”

He questioned. Sirius finally got a grip on himself before speaking.

“I would be pissed if you left me with Walburga. The old hag will probably be having Y/n help her organize her obituary scrapbook.”

Regulus rolled his eyes. The last thing that he wanted was to think about his mother. While Regulus really didn’t want to kill Walburga himself it was beginning to look like that was a decent option. The woman was making everyone’s lives miserable.

“When we get back, we need to make a plan to get rid of the old bitch. If we don’t, she will haunt us until she dies again…that is too long away for my liking.”

(several hours later)

You sat in a near haze listening to Walburga rattle on and on about her dead relatives. While Regulus and Sirius made no effort to hide their contempt for their mother (a prime example was Sirius purposely stepping on every crack in the sidewalk to “break his mother’s back.”) you were trying your best to be somewhat decent to her. It was getting harder as your pregnancy progressed. Your patience was thin and listening to this old bitch be nothing but rude to both of her sons was wearing on you.

“And that’s how Aunt Estrella died…Y/n are you listening to me?”

You blinked a few times to pull yourself from your trance.

“Yes…I am.”

Walburga shook her head.

“If you are going to lie to me at least make it about something good. Your eyes have been glazed over for the past half an hour. So, without my son hovering over you like an overprotective mother hen, I can talk to you properly now. What are your plans for the twins? It has to be getting near time for them to be born. I do hope that Regulus and yourself have made plans for a good nanny.”

You had to stop yourself from laughing at the expression on Regulus’ face when you told him that Walburga compared him to a mother hen.

“Actually, no. We haven’t made any plans for a nanny because they are our kids and we can take care of them ourselves.”

Walburga looked totally baffled by that comment. She had never once been without a nanny at least until Regulus was 7. If she had to take care of her children all on her own, it would have been a major inconvenience that Walburga just couldn’t phantom.

“But what about when both of you are tired…or when Regulus is working?”

You leaned back in your chair.

“My mother made it just fine. That’s with a lot more children than two running around. Besides, my mum will be willing to help me. Believe it or not, Regulus and I look forward to taking care of our children."

“Children should be seen and not heard.”

You moved to stand up as Sirius walked in. His disheveled appearance quickly caught your attention. You didn’t give Walburga a second thought before muttering, “I’ll have to get back to you on that” and going to your brother-in-law.

As you approached him, you realized that his eye had a massive cut under it and his nose had been bleeding. Panic surged through you as you realized Regulus wasn’t in the room.

“Sirius! Are you…Regulus? Where is he?”

Sirius attempted to fix his now-destroyed hair. He wanted to make a joke that it would take ages to make it look right again but your expression told him that you wouldn’t appreciate it like normal. The terrified expression on your face told Sirius that you were NOT in the mood for any of his humor at the moment.

“He’s fine! I swear! Regulus sent me. I need you to come with me and try not to panic…I would say to keep an open mind but there is no way to prepare you for what you are about to see.”

You felt your mouth drop at Sirius’ words. Telling you not to panic worked as well as stabbing you and saying “Ah, you’ll be alright…just ignore the bleeding.”

“Sirius…”

Before you could even finish the sentence, Sirius apparated both of you to what was left of Hogwarts. Your mouth dropped even further the moment that you saw the castle that you loved so much nearly destroyed. Looking around, all you could see was sheer carnage. Bloody students and other various adults were wandering around looking totally lost.

The moment that Regulus walked out of what was the great hall, you all but ran to him.

“Regulus!”

You had nearly knocked him down before Regulus could even get a word out. All that mattered to you was the fact that he was alive.

“Y/n…”

He started but you cut him off as you started looking him over in a state of panic. His clothes were dusty and torn in a few places. Thankfully, he appeared to not have much physical damage other than a bruised cheek and busted bottom lip.

“Regulus, what the hell?!”

“Y/n, I’m fine. Everything is going to be…”

You cut him off yet again.

“If you say fine, I am going to slug you! Nothing about this looks fine! I thought that you said this was a small job. Are you seeing the same shit that I am!”

Regulus reached out and cupped your cheeks.

“Y/n, I am okay. He’s gone… Voldemort is gone.”

“Harry! Oh, Merlin, is Harry…”

“He’s fine! He’s okay. I didn’t tell you because, given your condition, there was no way in hell that I was about to let you come here and be potentially hurt. I had to keep you and the babies safe.”

You looked around as a nearby wall partially collapsed. Turning back to Regulus, you mentally tried to ignore the screaming in your head that today could have very well been the day that you lost the man that you loved. Yes, the dark lord was dead but the good side clearly had a ton of losses too.

“What if you had died? How do you think that I would have felt knowing that I never got to see you again? What about our children…Regulus, I am…”

Regulus pulled you back into another kiss silencing any further words. You slipped one hand onto Regulus’ cheek before sliding to the back of his head and tangled in his curls. Neither Regulus nor yourself seemed in any hurry to let go of the other.

Regulus pulled away after a moment but didn’t move too far away from you.

“Because I knew you would panic…I’m alive, here and with you…that’s all that matters.”

You kissed him again as Regulus placed one hand on your stomach.”

“You really are the most stubborn man that I have ever met. If I didn’t love you so much I really would punch you in the face.”

Regulus chuckled as his eyes went to Arthur Weasley. He sighed immediately. Regulus knew what he had to tell you and he didn’t want to. He didn’t want to ruin the intimacy of this moment and break your heart but he had to.

“Y/n, I do need to talk to you about one thing though. Not everyone made it. We nearly lost Tonks and Remus.”

You stepped back as your eyes widened. In all of the chaos, you realized that you had yet to see any members of your family.

“My parents? Brothers? Ginny?”

You quickly asked. Regulus’ face darkened as he rubbed a hand over his face.

“They’re fine…everyone except Fred…darling, he didn’t make it.”

Regulus’ words felt like a bullet to your heart. Fred was gone. Everything in your heart came to a screeching halt as you looked around.

“Where are they?”

“In the great hall.”

Regulus replied softly. You took a few deep breaths before turning and running into the great hall. Regulus remained motionless for a moment before turning and going after you. This was the part that he dreaded. Regulus could deal with the fighting and chaos but the aftermath was something that he was not emotionally ready for. He would have to attend the funerals. See the loss in his friend’s eyes as they realized the ones that they cared the most for weren’t coming back.

When he stepped into the great hall, you were kneeling down beside George and Molly. Regulus had to look away. He couldn’t bear to see the look of sheer heartbreak on your face. It was bad enough when the Weasleys realized that Fred was dead, to begin with. Now here you were, the one human that he loved the most in the world, having to face the reality that your little brother was gone and nothing could be done about it. He would have to stand by and watch as you went through some of the darkest days and he wasn’t able to protect you…for once he could do absolutely nothing.

You, meanwhile, sat staring down at Fred’s face. His eyes were closed making him look as if he was only sleeping. Part of you wondered if he would suddenly sit up and say “Got you!” You prayed that would happen. For once, you wanted nothing more than for Fred and George to be playing one of their pranks…but you knew that wasn’t the case. The heartbroken look on George’s face, as he sobbed in Arthur’s arms, told you that this was no joke.

Even though you had your own heartbreak to deal with, you knew that George was experiencing devastation worse. Fred was George’s other half…the other half to the puzzle…now he was gone. You slowly looked up at Bill. Your own twin stood holding his wife but his eye was locked on your face. Without even speaking, you knew that the two of you were thinking the same thing. Neither of you would know how to make it without the other. Bill was the other half of your soul. He was the one who came into the world with you. While the two of you still had each other…George was not missing his other half.

In the noise and chaos, you could only think one thought…

Nothing will ever be the same again

_______

@amelie-black @jessyballet @knreidy1 @georgeweasleydumbhoe @criminalyetminimal @acciosiriusblack @siriuslyceleste @mimisparkle12 @teletubiswszpilkach @ell0ra-br3kk3r @livshifts @starsval @stelleduarte @millies0bsimp @coffeeaddictednymph @readtomeregulus @daddyslittlevillain @rogue-nyx88 @panpride @saramaple @missgorldafirst @i-love-scott-mccall @s-we-e-t-t-ea @buttercup-beeee @f4iryluvy @taylor-will-be-the-death-of-me @gugggu6gvai @jag9000 @quinis @yousmellllikecaca @mentally-unstable-hoe @haroldpotterson @padf00ts-l0ver @goldensunshineshit @aurorasnape12 @ad-astra-again @rubyroscoe1 @spideyxalmighty @lucasfilms77 @dumybitch @play-morezeppelin @ravenhood2792 @un-lovesherself @melaninnbarbie @marichromatic @brokencasbutt67-writer @authoressskr @hankypranky @summer-novak @moldy-old-boot @emiwrites3reads @shaylybaby2032 @li0nh34rt @tas898 @sprnaturallover @wontlookaway @shitfaceddaniel-blog @untoldshortsofthefandoms @deanwherescas @knight-of-gleefulness @mycuddlycorner

[felice-jaganshi]

Send Me An Angel

Stolas×m!Reader

Chapter 1

Stolas was sitting alone in his study, trying to read a romance novel… but every time he tried to picture the love interests, he kept seeing Blitz and himself. He groaned and set the book down, “How does one make this feeling end?!”

Just as he felt another sad serenade begin to form in his throat, there was a knock on the door.

“Sire? You have an unexpected guest.”

“Ugh, send them away! I am in no mood!”

“Aw come on now Stolas, is that any way to treat the king of hell?” A grinning face forced his way past the butler. Stolas stood immediately before swiftly bowing.

“Your majesty, I apologize, I hadn't known it was you! Why the sudden visit?” He smiled nervously, mentally cursing himself.

 

“Oh, I have someone who was desperate to meet you, and I owe them a favor. So, I figured the best way for them to see the real you, was a surprise visit!” Lucifer was grinning, but there was no kindness behind it. Like he hoped this meeting would show Stolas in a bad light. And well, given he was lounging in a barely held shut robe and nothing else in the middle of the day… let's say Stolas felt he was off to a bad start.

“Someone who wanted to meet me? And who would that be?”

 

Lucifer lowered his voice to a whisper, and turned to the door, “A new Sinner.” Stolas looked over and saw a demon helping his butler back to his feet and fussing over him for any injury, despite the imp's quiet protests that he was fine. As if feeling the extra eyes on them, the demon turned their head, giving a sheepish smile before it switched to an awed gasp as they locked eyes with Stolas, their pupils dilating.

 

As they slowly stood, Stolas took in their form.

Their hair was a pastel gradient from sea green to baby blue to lavender. They had large canine ears atop their head that were the same sea green at their base, fading to white at the tips. Their clothes were formal, but simple, a white button up, with a dark blue vest, though their green overcoat was covered in yellow flower designs. He held a red covered book in his arms. As he examined the demon's jawline and deep blue eyes, Stolas realized they were a man. He also noticed a large bushy tail swishing behind him. It was mostly lavender with white at the tip similar to his ears. He finally made his way down to the man's shoes, and was surprised to find cheap sneakers. They didn't match the rest of the outfit in the slightest, and it made Stolas question if this was the man's usual state of dress, or if he dressed up for their meeting.

 

The man took three steps into the room and gave a half bow, “It's a true pleasure to meet you, my name is Zachary, but my friends call me Zachie.” He turned his face back up and gave a dazzling smile, full of genuine happiness. His tail wagged excitedly.

“Oh, well it's a pleasure to meet you too. So what made you so desire to meet with me? Most human souls lose any interest in the Goetia once they learn how little power we really have in the pride ring. I didn't make you some kind of promise while drunk at a summoning, did I?” Stolas was nervous, he avoided Sinners at all cost, given how volatile and violent they typically were. One poisoned cup out of ten after all…

 

Zachary's expression fell, looking down at his feet. His ears drooped and his tail swished across the floor anxiously, “Well no, I never tried to summon you. All the rituals in the book required multiple people to summon any demons… but it said you loved astrology, botony, and knowledge in general, so I imagined you enjoyed reading… and I love reading and stargazing, so I thought maybe I could share some of my favorite books with you.” His head popped back up suddenly, “Oh! I almost forgot! Here!” He held out the book in his arms. “This is for you. A gift. I… had someone get it for me, it's the first book in my favorite romance series. I hope that's not too weird of a gift…” 

 

Stolas was taken aback, “You… are correct, I do enjoy books.” He hesitantly took the book, reading the title, “What kind of romance is it?”

“A love story between a fallen god and a demon king.”

Lucifer cleared his throat, “Welp! That sounds like my cue to leave! Zach knows his way back to the hotel easily enough, so just kick him out when you're bored of him. And Zach, remember to text Charlie if you're going to be late getting back, or she'll worry you got lost or something.” And with that, Lucifer disappeared in a shimmering gold and red mist.

 

There's a nervous silence between the two for a moment, Zach fidgeting and looking around the room. It's then Stolas noticed his robe had fallen open a little. He tightened it, “Ah well, have a seat while I go change. I'll have tea and snacks brought for you while you wait.” Stolas quickly stepped away from the room to change into something more fitting for having company.

While he was in his closet, he looked the book he'd been gifted over again. It was a paperback with beautiful art on the cover, red being the predominant color. Reading the back of the cover, it certainly sounded like an interesting story. A fallen god, a ghost risen? Well, perhaps it would be better than the romance novels he'd found in hell.

 

Once dressed, he returned to the room, finding Zachary sitting in one of the chairs and typing speedily on his cellphone. Stolas couldn't help his curiosity and peeked over his shoulder to see who he was messaging. It was self preservation, he reasoned. What if Zach turned out to be an assassin?!

But what he saw looked like- “Are you writing a story?” Zach yipped and jumped an inch at the sudden awareness of Stolas.

 

“I um, yes… it's not very good… but I'm trying to be a writer. I tried to get a book written when I was alive, but couldn't get past the ‘rough draft’ phase.”

“Mind if I read what you've written?” He asked, holding out his hand.

Zach's ears perked up, “You're interested in my story? I can read it to you, if you'd like! I've been told I have a good voice for it.” His tail flicked a few times, hopeful excitement, Stolas guessed. 

“Hm, I suppose that would be fine…” He sat down and picked up a tea cup.

Zach smiled and started reading from chapter one…

His voice was soothing as he fell into a reading cadence, and Stolas found himself relaxing further into his own chair.

 

As he finished chapter one, Zachary looked at him expectantly. “What do you think so far? Do you like it? Or am I boring you?”

Stolas opened his eyes, he hadn't even realized he'd closed them!

“Oh, it's quite nice. Your voice is rather soothing. My apologies, I haven't been sleeping well lately, and I suppose I nodded off a bit.”

 

“Oh, no need to apologize! That's a compliment in and of itself.” Zach smiled and put away his phone.

“Oh? How so?” Stolas was curious, how was falling asleep on a guest a compliment?

“Because you're comfortable enough to fall asleep around me. That shows trust. And you found my voice relaxing enough to soothe you from whatever was bothering you. I'm happy I was able to help, even if just for a little bit.”

 

“Ah, I suppose you're right…” Stolas blushed at his reasoning, it was rather sweet… “You know, I think you should keep writing.”

The canine's ears perked up, “You do?” Zach's eyes were practically sparkling with hope. How cute!

 

“Indeed, in fact I'd appreciate it if you came by regularly to read to me, perhaps weekly, if that wouldn't be too much of a strain on your schedule?”

“I'd love to!” He smiled wide,tail wagging aggressively. “How about every sunday? I'm sure I can convince Charlie to let me have every Sunday off from the hotel, especially if I lie and say it's to pray or something holy or religious sounding.” 

Stolas chuckled, “My my, lying to the princess of hell to see me? Sounds like you're making me a dirty little secret~.” 

Ah, what was he doing?! Don't flirt with a sinner, Stolas! They're dangerous! 

 

“Oh, huh… I didn't think of it that way. Yeah, it would be better just to say I want to meet up with my new best friend! Then I'm not potentially hurting anyone!” He had such an innocent reaction, Stolas had to stop and just… blink.

Was he turning down his advances?... Did he call Stolas his “best friend”? 

Stolas smiled, “Yes, I think best friend is the correct title for us. Zachie.”

[wiseatom]

The end of the year is near! Give a shoutout to your favorite blogs and tag them to spread positivity before the year ends! (from: a secret anon)

ALMOST FORGOT 2 DO THIS LITERALLY RUNNING AND SHAKING AND SWEATING!!! i am putting this under a read more so that i don’t clog the dash but you can catch me in 4k for the second time tonight below the cut:

yes i just rambled abt some of these people. no i do not care. starting with people i have probably interacted with enough to be weird about:

@bylertruther - HI DENISE IT’S ME AGAIN. denise bylertruther my one true love…my first mutual fr fr….ii have screenshots of every nice thing you’ve ever said to me (real) (not clickbait). i hope tht i am in top fans on your blog bc if i am not that is a crime but i’ll do better denise i swear i will. grabs you by the shoulders and shakes you so gently I AM OBSESSED W YOU U HAVE NO IDEA. every take is so true and real and i am constantly in awe like damn ok maybe i should be watching this show like denise bylertruther is. The strongest byler soldier imo and simultaneously every single person on the frontline for will byers. i know they said no new charas in s5 but i think they should really and truly reconsider that stance just so that they can write you into the show bc 1. you deserve it n 2. i want to see mike wheeler bark at u for daring 2 talk 2 will. ty for being correct always and so funny. i am biting you every day and reiterating that every fic i write is actually for you, the Original wiseatom stan,

@andiwriteordie - i say this with all the love and affection and positive connotation in the world, but andi, you are THE most insane person i have ever met, and i am obsessed with you. you are such a pleasure to talk to and bounce ideas off of and just be absolutely batshit insane with, and you are?? crazy talented?? literally SO creative, and your willpower is so admirable 2 me. the amount of fics you churn out is impressive on its own, but the fact that every single one of them is so beautifully written and makes me cry?? even when it’s fluff??? you are also, of course, one of the first fic authors i read for byler - i remember reading the let’s hear it for the boys series on lunch breaks at work over the summer and just like. being obsessed with the way you wrote them and how real it felt, like i was reading from the show. i have done jumping jacks reading your fics. it’s embarrassing. i will continue to do jumping jacks reading your fics. it will continue to be embarrassing. anyway the point is i cherish you and your fics and our friendship so much! punting you into the sun bc i cannot bear to look at you anymore!

@astrobei - suniiii suni suni SUNNNNIIIII. my orange creamsicle my taco bell cheesy roll up my bread puddinggggg. i don’t think i hav ever connected w a person as quickly as we have connected. like wtf we are just. the same person in different fonts n it’s cruel tht we live 3000 miles away bc i just want to wrap you up in my bindle n carry you every where i go. my real n true little sister. thank you for having an aneurysm every time i send u a snippet and for telling me tht i am funny because i need the attention. with that said i would also like to say that i have an aneurysm any time i read ANYTHING you write and you are also SO funny. ty for pioneering cringefail losercore byler and just like. breathing so much life n love into your fics. every single one is just a little love letter to stranger things n i am so thankful for the ones i’ve read and can’t wait to catch up and then immediately go on a 35 mile drive abt it.

@bookinit02 - i would like to state, on the record, that before i knew haven bookinit, i read baby we’re perfect and had such a breakdown over it that i literally blacked it out in my mind. like, i was reading it in line at the starbucks at work, and i was crying in the starbucks at work, in front of guests, n then i went back to my office w my little coffee and cried some more and ERASED IT FROM MY MIND. imagine my surprise when i put two and two together that sweet ball of sunshine haven is the author of the fic tht FUCKED ME UP SO BAD. i reread it the other day n sobbed like a little baby. but haven genuinely you are so talented and your fics feel so Easy, like they just are so in character and feel so Right. i can’t wait until you are a published author one day so that i can build a house out of copies of your book. you deserve the WORLD and i will not stop until it is urs.

@smoosnoom - mooooooOOOON my petri dish pal my eggo waffle supreme thing tht el eats i am biting u so hard. i kno that u know this already but you are literally so talented. lightning struck my house and also me when you hit post on i’m tearing you asunder and neither of us have been the same since. you just have such a distinct prose tht is so poetic and crafted so beautifully and uniquely and i am absolutely in awe every time i read it. u are also just so interesting to talk to like the way your brain works is so fun and cool and i lov being silly with you! i am tying you to a rocket w bert n ernie plushes n sending you to the Actual moon bc u belong up there w the stars (bert n ernie are for company so u don’t get sad and they have walkies in them so we can communicate from space which i think is cool). brb buying sidewalk chalk n transcribing all of ur fics in my driveway

@byeler - irene i know we have interacted a handful of times so you can block me after this if you want <3 but i just wanted to say that your fics were The first i Ever read for byler and i was just. completely shook. i have been reading fanfiction for over a decade and have read fic for ~30 fandoms so i have Been around the block before and there’s this feeling when you find an author that is just. Checking Every Box and you are It, irene. i remember i had to pace myself w the fics you had bc i didn’t want to run out bc it would devastate me. i already said this to you but i can’t wait to read heavy hopes when i am not dying/afraid of plagiarizing before i finish cmbcyb. also every time we have interacted has been an absolute delight, even when it has been bitching abt twitter lol. i think you are so great and i am Going to absorb your ao3 account into my skin. no there is nothing you can do about it. deal!

@miwism - MAL MALMAMALAMAMAAMLAMAMALAMLAMAL. i am going to ask you a question n i want it answered fr i expect a 20 page paper on my desk by monday: who gave you the RIGHT. you are a triple threat in my mind w fic and art n edits and being the funniest fucking person on this godforsaken site. you make me laugh SO MUCH while also making me completely in awe tht a person who is so cool and fun decides to kick it w us Losers. if i were to write you an actual report card i would give you straight As across the board: A+ fic, A+ art, A+ edits, A+ humor, A+ theories, A+ shitposts. comments: a pleasure to have in class. i would literally die for you. i’m serious. i will buy the headstone rn don’t think i won’t. i’ll fax u the receipt. ok great.

@mlchaelwheeler - SARAH. listen i kNOW we don’t talk that much but also i think we have interacted enough on the dash for me to be weird n say that you are That Mutual to Me. like i remember when you followed me i was internally scrambling like ok boys we gotta clean this place up gotta make things nice and pretty for sarah mlchaelwheeler. your analysis is SO GOOD and i aspire to have a brain as big as yours. you are such a delight and positive presence on my dash and when you’re online i’m like ok cool sarah is here everything is going to be excellent. i also want u to know that i think of you every time i watch rink o mania sad wilted will trailing behind mike bc of your icon. Your Impact, Sarah Mlchaelwheeler (ALSO UR URL WTF. ICONIC)

segwaying to people who i think are So Cool and i am Very Normal about:

@finalgirlbyers - sierra u are so funny to me it’s insane, and also, Always Correct. sometimes u post things n i’m like damn i didn’t think tht three minutes ago but sierra finalgirlbyers said it so it must be tru. i am drinking whatever koolaid u are serving, i am part of the hive mind, i would join a cult if u asked, etc, etc. every day i say thank god sierra is fighting the good fight n not a diseased m*lvn!

@elekinetic - ella u are so cool to me fr fr. i need to sit down and just devour your script tag and blow up your notifications bc every single one i’ve read hITS SO HARD. u literally never miss and i want you in the writer’s room sooooo fucking bad SOOOO BAD. more than anyone else. i also just rly appreciate the perspective tht u bring with your education and knowledge of tv and film. it’s so cool and always really appreciated!!

@heroesbyler - stav i think you are so cool and also correct literally all of the time. another one where i’m like oh stav said it guess it simply must be true! just every single post hits and i think tht you are so fun to have on my dash. tht is all. also i am biting you.

@miwiluvr - MOUMO U ARE SO COOL N TALENTED N EVERY TIME U REBLOG ONE OF MY FICS I LITERALLY DIE. if i never am able to post again it’s miwiluvr’s fault everyone…but fr ur art is so soft and just gorgeous and natural looking and i want to eat it with my mouth. thank u.

@nnilkyway - speaking of art i want to eat w my mouth - yvie omfg. you are literally so talented n when i followed you n you immediately followed back i had 2 sit down on the floor of the stranger things experience in los angeles california n that just felt so fitting somehow. ty for providing me w the mitski bangers i needed. also we are best friends in my head sry but it’s true so ur just going to have to deal with that.

@modsisawesome - more art i want to eat w my MOUTH. WTF. expect me to blow up ur notifs in a few days or weeks or whenever i have time i can’t make promises BUT EXPECT IT WHEN U DON’T EXPECT IT BECAUSE. UR ART IS SO SOFT AND REAL AND FUN AND I AM OBSESSED W IT AND U. i kno i declared us best friends n then fell off the face of the earth but tht is still true. bother me any day of the week i will respond probably tht same day of the week bc i think u are so cool.

@light-lanterne - angel you are so cool and i am so in awe of u every day. first of all your graphics are absolutely beautiful and please direct anyone who says otherwise directly to my askbox bc i will tear them a new one. second of all i think you are The biggest supporter of the byler fic writers and i am just so thankful for that and so appreciative of what you do. i am going to fight for my life to carve out time in the new year to read your fics they are at the Top of my list bc i want to show you just as much love and support as you have shown us!! thank you!!!

@new-ronantics - eevie i have such a crush on your art it is insane. everything you put out just has so much life and fluidity and looks so natural and i know how hard it is to achieve tht so i am just in awe of your talent. also your url is top tier and you are so so funny and every time you are online i am saying THANK GOD EEVIE IS HERE!!!!

@messrsbyler - nic i want to get to kno you better bc i have seen tht u are evil and dark minded and i am also evil and dark minded so i think we would get along so well. let me know when u want to be evil and dark minded bc i am always free to be evil and dark minded. thanks .

ok i have the memory of a goldfish and i am also so tired and also should really honestly truly be writing fic BUT i am so sorry if i forgot abt anyone!! if i did it’s probably just bc i am Afraid of u or we are so new mutuals. pls everyone bother me in the new year and then i will spend all year writing novels abt u for december 31 2023. ok goodbye <3

[kamyru]

"You're beautiful" (Nameless Manager x MC) (Shorts)

Word counting: 798

"I wish I could make you smile oftener, so I admire this aesthetic artwork your face is."

"How does it feel to wake up every day, go to the bathroom, and see that you have a face like yours? I hope you know you are more than beautiful, cute, astonishing, or alluring. People haven't yet invented words powerful enough to describe you."

"Every time I talk to you, I wish to stop the time so I can admire the grace with which you use your words and how they blend in sentences. You can insult me, and I'm going to be in awe at how pleasant your voice is, and how smart your words are."

The manager had no idea what he had done for MC to talk to him like this. At first, he thought that she did it to manipulate him later. But she had never asked for anything. Later, she heard her complimenting his proteges, too. Anyone else could have felt jealous, but not him. It was a pleasure to hear someone waste their words on him, especially because all the compliments were personalized. MC took her time to understand every one of them. Besides complimenting their appearance, she never forgot to admire their actions and thank them every time they did a good job. Not a person could breathe near her, and don't hear anything good.

Except for one person.

"If heaven exists, it probably tastes like this," Claude said while munching on MC's pancakes.

"I hope not because it wouldn't be good enough."

"Can't believe that you are working for a fashion magazine and you haven't been invited to be a model yourself, considering how cute you are, especially when you are smiling," Wataru told MC after all the crew of his photoshoot left.

"They would get broke in less than an hour if I was their model."

"Sometimes I wish you had never disappeared on me in our childhood so I spent more time with you," Ryoga didn't have enough guts to say it to MC's face. Instead, he chose the cutest flower in his garden and left it in front of MC's room with a message attached.

"Don't waste your wishes and time thinking about me," MC whispered to herself after reading this.

"I am going to work hard so that I will be the most popular and in-demand actor the moment your essays are published and you are the most popular Japanese writer," Mikoto told MC after reading one of her works.

"You won't live long enough for me to get to that level."

"You are unique enough for me to write songs with you in mind and put as much warmth as I am capable of," Kotoha whispered once, hoping that MC didn't hear him.

"I am sorry to disturb you from your process of creating real masterpieces," MC whispered back.

The manager didn't hear every interaction of this type, yet he heard enough to understand what was happening. He didn't plan on fighting for a nuisance's well-being. He wanted to get rid of MC the moment she entered the residence. So, he couldn't explain to himself what was happening in front of him.

At five in the morning, the manager came to get the group to the filming of their new MV. After seeing them ready and more alluring than ever, he had to fight their fan service. A job he got pretty good at. 

What he didn't expect was to see a disheveled MC who probably didn't sleep all night, wearing the oldest pajamas a twenty-three-year-old woman can own while drinking some milk in the middle of a barely illuminated kitchen.

This creature looked at him as if she saw a monster. Suddenly, her cheeks colored pink, and the manager could swear he heard her curse quietly.

"I'm sorry that you have to begin your day with this sight, especially after admiring the beauty of gods five minutes beforehand," MC said.

Instead of answering, the manager's first reaction was to laugh. MC gulped and put away the glass of milk she had in her hands. She felt guilty for showing her face in front of someone in that state. Yet, after being awake all night, she needed something to ease her hunger. It was a bad idea. All she had to do now was to crawl to her room in shame. But before she could do it, a hand caught her wrist.

"You're beautiful, probably the only person who can rock this look."

And as if the words weren't enough, the man patted MC's head. He moved a few strands of hair from her forehead and admired her face for a few seconds.

Plust members had never seen their manager's cheeks as red as after he returned.

[quantum-bliss]

Day 10 of Heartbreak

Revelation. Yesterday I wasn't sober. It took being intoxicated for me to see who I was. This entire time I only side one side of things, which lets me know the truth was far from me. The truth is now closer to me than any of the other days.

Day 1 and Day 2 of heartbreak are missing from my writings, they are missing for a reason. It was my anger that made me severe our relationship and I could not possibly write what was I feeling in that state of mind. It would be evil to even put such words into the universe.

Fast forward to now, I realize how deceived I was in my initial heartbreak. I truly believed you had become this awful who cared nothing about the 5 years we spent together. I felt like you did everything just to hurt to me. Now I know I was nothing but a fool to believe such a thing.

Truth is, you triggered something in me that I havent seen in myself in a long time... vulnerability. Vulnerability can mean alot of things, but for me ill define as being in a position to be hurt.

It had been so long since I allowed anyone close enough to hurt me. Not one friend, not one lover, not one family memeber could get to me. I hid myself in plain sight, never sharing too much, never depending too much, never opening my heart too much, and never being vulnerable.

So when you finally did something that hurt me, it was as if the safe world I had spent so long building had come crashing down. I felt everything all at once. Every disappointment, every betrayal, every loss, every rejection, every pain I hid from myself came rushing in.

I had no where to run, no where to hide, no where to find safety. The wall on my heart had been compromised.

Even worse, somewhere in my mind I felt like I was waiting for you to slip up, just so that self-sabotaging voice could say 'see I told you. You cant trust anyone.' This is what I meant when I told you that you are not fully responsible for what I felt. My heart had been broken a million times before you, but so has yours.

I finally realize this why most people have such dysfunctional relationships. We are all suffering from decades of internal bleeding. Instead of addressing our wounds, we keep reaching out and hoping someone or something will heal us. But, in the end, we just end up hurting the people we love and hurting ourselves.

Now I understand the meaning of love hurts. It has nothing to do with love actually hurting, it is the fact that we are so imperfect that theres no way were not going to hurt each other when get close to another person.

You and I were both broken when we met, we were just broken in different ways. I cant judge you for your form of brokeness, nor can I judge myself. Since we know at some point we will get hurt, I guess its up to us to decide in what ways are we okay with being hurt and what ways are we not.

Anyway, today I calm. I feel confident in my future. I am not angry, sad, distracted, or numb, I just am. I thought the day my heart stops hurting would be the day I began to forgot you, but thats not true. In fact, I think I love you more now than ever. That is because, for the first time im my life I am beginning to truly heal. My heart feels healthier and more capable of loving, which means it is also more capable of forgiving.

I am beginning to forgive both your actions and my own, and even those who hurt me before you. I wish you had met this version of me, but im just glad I am meeting this version of myself.

As always life changes daily, but for the first time in this treacherous cycle of heartbreak, I can truly say im glad this happened. I hope one day you can say the same.

[nemiepaezgavira]

Loving Your Everything

Chapter 6

"And welcome", Pedri said lightly, rubbing his shoes before entering the room, "Like it?".

I copied his actions before entering.

"It's....nice", I replied, hiding my real broke ass reaction.

"You can make yourself at home, I need to go make some calls, be back in a minute".

I explored the room, after my host left.

It was gigantic to say the least. I walked around the room in awe.

There was a dining table right next to the window which oversaw the ocean, a king sized bed a few feet away from it with fluffed up pillows sitting on it. I walked to it, softly touching the material. Across the bed, on the right was a closet with robes and clothes, a few which were Pedri's. It seemed like he'd been staying in the hotel for quite a while. On the left was a ceiling to floor window, with giant curtains on either side, which made it look like a magical entrance to some enchanted land. I touched the window pane, it's cool surface soothing me. Everything seemed surreal. How was I in a hospital , looking after Will, and then in some 5 star hotel with one of the most sought after footballers of the century, in the matter of a few hours? Everything felt surreal. I closed my eyes, sighing deeply.

"You like it here?", Pedri asked. I turned around, as he took out a couple of plastic containers from the mini fridge. "Yeah, especially with the ocean waves moaning"

"Moaning?", He chuckled.

"You know what I meant", I replied, my face burning.

"Let's not talk about that before we eat", He said, a  sweet smile breaking on his face. 

I'd always been strict about where I stood with the idea of me dating someone shot-gun, but every time this man smiled, the ice around my heart melted a little, and his frequent sweet smiling wasn't helping.

"I miss my Mom while eating", Pedri stated, before snapping his head at me, as though to make sure he didn't want to trigger something within me. "She must be an amazing cook", I answered, smiling a little. "She'd always make a huge fuss about me not eating properly when I was young, it's become a sort of reason she blames for the thin body I had when I first began with football". I could see he loved his Mother a lot, and my heart hurt yearning for my own, for the first time in years. "Last Friday, when I was leaving, she actually cried a bit", He chuckled, "She's very emotional at times, my Mom, but that's because I'm still her baby, no matter how old I get, she never stops babying me. Sit on the bed". I obliged.

"She loves me to bits and hates it when I have to travel back to Barcelona alone", He explained, bringing the food in two paper plates. For once, I was genuinely interested in someone's family,someone's mother, and I knew Pedri could see that. "She prays for me non stop before every match, at least that's what my brother tells me", He said, sitting beside me on the bed. His carefree self and simply and childlike language was intriguing and for the first time in forever, I felt myself being strongly drawn to a guy.

"And did you know-"

The ringing of his phone interrupted him, much to his annoyance, as he grabbed it from the night stand before answering. A couple of yeses and a "I'll tell her", later, he faced me.

"I forgot to tell you but you may have to stay with me for a while, the groupies and journalists have surrounded your flat building, apparently", He explained biting into the food.

"What?"

"It's pretty common, especially when it comes to possible romantic partners of young players, you know, but this should die down in a few days".

"You seem to be very used to it"

"I am. Well...sort of, I've seen teammates get stalked by crazy people, they don't respect boundaries and within our close social circle, we don't consider them fans. They're simply obsessed psychopaths".

I nodded thoughtfully, chewing my food. Being a celebrity was hard, I'd realized that when I had to hide my face from the cameras and when I had to run from a seemingly safe place for my safety. Fan girls were harder to deal with, than Fan boys, and I shuddered thinking about the hate and backlash I'd receive for just being spotted with Pedri.

What about Gavi?  My conscience purred.

I shook my head hard. I didn't want to think about it.

"You're not from here,I assume?", Pedri questioned. I looked up at him. "Yeah, originally, but I've stayed here for about 10 years". "Your parents?".

I could see he just wanted to get to know me, but it was hurting me to think about them. "They left the country as soon as I turned 16".

"Who're you staying with right now then?"

"Mandy, well..Amanda, she became my legal guardian after I chose to stay behind"

"She's your relative?"

"Nah, we're just friends, I met her a when I was 14"

"Then, if she's your guardian she's a bit old to be called a friend, don't you think?"

"She just turned 21 this year, so not that old" 

Amanda.

I got up and immediately scrambled for my phone, digging into my jacket pocket.

17 missed calls from Mandy. 33 unread texts.

I could feel her anger radiating off of the phone.

I excused myself quickly before getting into the bathroom.

"What the FUCK, Evelyn?!! Where are you!!", She screamed, as soon as she picked up the phone. "Sorry...I had some things come up", I murmured. "Don't lie, Pinocchio, the pictures are ALL OVER THE INTERNET".

"What pictures?"

"Don't play dumb, how could you kiss Pablo Gavi and not tell ME?!!"

I rubbed my forehead in exasperation. "Look, everything happened really fast and I need to-"

A loud thud stopped me ,mid sentence, followed by angry shouts.

"Hello? Evie?", Mandy spoke from the other side. "I'll call you later, I'm fine. Take care of William", I whispered before cutting the call.

I slowly opened the bathroom door as the voices grew louder.

"How could you do that to me?!!"

My heart beat fast as I grabbed a vase which stood on the table beside the door. I peeked around the corner. Pedri was laying on the ground, rolled in carpet, as a guy kicked him continuously. I jumped out, holding the vase above my head, prepared to smash a head, as the guy turned around.

His fiery eyes locked into mine as he grabbed my wrist, snatching the vase with his other hand before throwing it on the bed.

"Gavi", I whispered, my voice trailing off.

Maybe it was the fear or the sudden adrenaline rush, but I could feel the sudden draining of blood from my head as I stood there, shivering.

[aliypop]

Back To Black: Chapter 6

latest chapters : Chapter 1  Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4   Chapter 5

Word Count: 9.436

Writers Notes: Here we are Chapter 6 topping off season 5 and kicking into gear of season 6, 

Warning: Show violence and language Suggestive themes, Smut

Pairing: OC x Canon

( Eleanor Williams ) / Thomas Shelby  

(Claudette Williams) / Finn Shelby

(Virginia Williams) / Ada Shelby

Plot: What happens When the Williams Family makes their grand return back to London from a war stricken France to only find the rocks of war and the runts of crime the Shelby family slowly leaking into their world,

Taglist: @shelbydelrey

1929-The Connolly Mansion

"I'm sorry, what..." Eleanor blinked as Claudette and Finn smiled, "We're getting married, Eleanor," she smiled, holding Finn's hand, 

"We were waitin for you two to finally do this..." Lorcan mumbled under his breath, "Where will the Wedding be and how many people, and who's staying in what rooms and-"

"We'll go to Westerham Heights, beautiful scenery, and it's traditional," Bernadette stated as Polly agreed, "I haven't been in years," she took a puff of her cigarette, "Why Westerham fucking Heights..." Arthur growled, "Why not Johnny Dogs camp or somethin... or like a church." Ada had hit him in the head, "Be fuckin respectful..." she grumbled as Virginia laughed, "Yeah, Arthur, be respectful." her head was on Ada's shoulders, "This just makes the deal stronger," Tommy looked over at Eleanor, "Joined by name, joined by family." Eleanor smiled, "I'm happy for you two. I really am," she walked out of the dining room, the sound of silent sniffles following suit, 

"Darling..."

"Darling? since when did you start calling 'er darlin?" Julian asked as Arthur interjected, "You must really like her. The last time he called a girl darlin was in France."

"First off, Arthur fuck off," he walked out, 

Eleanor was sitting on the steps, those same ones she had left out of Tommy's life with. Taking the sleeves of Tommy's sweater that she now claimed, she wiped her tears away, plastering a smile,

 "You okay, sweetheart?"

"Don't worry about me." 

"Eh, that makes me worry more about you." Tommy sat by her side, pulling her close to his side, her head in his lap, "It was just yesterday that we brought Claudette home from the God Awful Hilda orphanage... and we took her to France, put her in the best schools our money could buy, me taking care of her like I was a mother, Andre and I would... keep her calm from the sounds of war and Virginia." she laughed, "Would tell jokes, and now She's getting married, probably gonna start a family and-"

"You wish it was you, don't ya," Tommy asked as she nodded. Deep down, he knew how she felt, Finn, who barely even had a bit of an example of a positive relationship. Yet managed to strike gold on his first attempt, but Tommy, there was Grace and The countess, Tatiana if he could even consider her as anything, Jessie Eden, and Lizzie he really married to smooth things out with the Luca situation and their daughter Ruby, none of them really saw Tommy, not the one who's laugh could brighten the skies of Birmingham, or dance the night away at any club, they only knew Thomas Shelby and his many titles and mask, but Eleanor saw through every last one of them.

 "You know Eleanor I... Loved you the day we first met." she giggled as he smiled, "At the club?" she asked as Tommy shook his head, "The party with Chaplin." 

"Mr. Shelby, I didn't think they'd let you in." Eleanor chuckled to herself, watching the way it made him squirm. 

"Didn't think they'd let you in either."

"Oh, darling, my father put this little event together." she smiled, "A daddy's girl I should've known." he quipped, 

"A man who's just a scared little boy giving schoolhouse taunts," she mentioned taking a glass of champagne from the wait staff, 

"Are you Williams always this flashy."

"Flashy... Oh, I forgot you wouldn't understand you're still new money," she said, watching Grace dance with Andre. If only Andre liked women, the two would've been such a lovely pair.

 "And you forget you're talking to Tommy fucking Shelby."

"Such big words for a rather small feeling man," setting her glass down, she took Thomas by the hand, taking him to the middle of the dance floor. Grace had her eyes on the pair, watching as if she had daggers in her eyes. Of course, Eleanor loved it, and it only provoked her more to get under Tommy's skin, 

"Well, Eleanor..."

"It's Ms. Williams."

"Well, Ms. Williams, If I were you, I'd keep a close eye on your sister." he whispered into her ear, "And I'd keep a closer eye on the company you keep."

"Mr. Chaplin, have you met Eleanor Williams," Andre asked, placing his arm around her shoulder. His glance was on a man who resembled the one in front of him, "Oh, excuse me, Thomas Shelby, is it." Andre asked as Grace stood next to him, 

"I suppose you want her back."

"I'm sorry for how I was that night," Eleanor laughed as Tommy chuckled, "Were you..." he smirked, kissing her nose, "Not really, I was jealous of Grace a little, " she blushed, embarrassed to say it, "I wanted to impress, you, I guess," Eleanor laughed as Tommy shook his head, "You threw the fuckin party," 

"My father did," she corrected, "Either way, you weren't scared of me," Tommy smiled, "Sure, Finn and Claudette 'Ill get married, but in due time fate will play its cards, and maybe we will too." 

Westerham Heights

"Who's dress is this anyways?" Claudette asked as Bernadette and Vadoma helped her get dressed, "It was your mothers..." Bernadette said, 

"If it's hers, I don't want it..." Vadoma's heart sank as Bernadette sighed, "It's not hers, Claudi, it's..." 

"It's mine," Vadoma said, "I'm your mother..." Vadoma smiled. 

"No, my mother was that monster who shot me in the back..." 

"Leslie was not your mother," Bernadette sighed, "Why are you telling me now..." Claudette asked as the two looked at the bride to be, "It was supposed to be on your 16th birthday, but when Louis died and Eleanor gone, I-"

"You couldn't tell me!" she shouted, backing away from them, "You couldn't fucking say hey, your mothers alive, and she tells fortunes!" she laughed, "So it's let's wait on the day I finally find happiness !" 

"Claudette Hilda Dupont! You listen to me well..." Vadoma demanded her attention as Claudette faced her, "First off, you will respect your aunt do you hear me!" her voice filled with anger, 

"Yes..." Vadoma grabbed her face making sure their gaze met, "Yes, what..." Claudette looked into her eyes. She felt a presence that Claudette hadn't known, not even with Leslie. She felt the aura of a mother, her mother, "Yes, M'am..."  

"Just know that every day when you were away from me, I prayed that you were okay, you were watched over and loved," she held her face, 

"Then why'd you give me up..."

"I wanted the best for you. I wanted you to have the life my father deprived me of that your aunt got to live." she smiled, "And you did. I'm witnessing my daughter get married. Oh, if only your father were here to see it."

"I...I have a..." 

"Go put your shoes on."

Almost as if fate itself knocking on the door of Vadoma's Caravan was, "James!" spinning Vadoma around, as he kissed her, "James, Where's my hug..." Bernadette smiled as he hugged her tightly, "I've been good, treating patients in America and running numbers the usual." he smiled, "I didn't think you'd make it," Vadoma kissed him again, his mustache tickling her face,

 "You'd think I'd miss this?"

"How do I look..." white lace trailed down behind her, covered in pearls and gold jewelry on her neck. James had shed a tear, "You look just like your mama did in that dress back in 1901." he held Vadoma's hand, 

"Ya know I knew it..." Johnny said as Eleanor looked at him,

 "Knew what?" she sassed,

 "You was one of us," 

"And how so..." she asked, "Is it the bones?"

"Those earrings ya like wearin so much." he laughed, "It's also the bones." he joked. Eleanor stood next to her aunt's Caravan, smoking her cigarette and watching how everyone was reacting, "Yeah, my Aunt's the wonderful Vadoma, prophecies and all that jazz." she chuckled. Ada had worn black, still mourning the loss of the father of her unborn child, and Virginia was still right by her side, Karl standing next to Ada, the two holding hands. On the other side were Polly and her husband, Aberama, who looked to be in love. Of course, Arthur had been a little drunk, and Isaiah had been flirting with a few of the women, but then there was Tommy walking in with Lizzie and Ruby and,

 "AUNTIE ELLIE!"  the young boy ran up to her as she hugged him tightly, "Charlie, you've grown so big and so handsome," she ruffled up his hair,

 "Did you get my birthday gift?"

"Mhmm, It's a mouse."

"Not just any, it's Mickey Mouse, from Walt himself." she bopped his nose, "Thank you."  he gave her another hug, 

"Charlie! Charlie?" Lizzie shouted until she saw him, 

"I'm so sorry he doesn't usually run off-"

"Lizzie, it's fine. I haven't seen my God son in a while anyways, and is that little Ruby," she asked as Ruby waved. She was a shy little thing but still ferocious like her daddy. 

"Can we talk..."

"Oh, uh, of course..." Eleanor nodded,

"Charlie, Ruby, go find your father," Lizzie said as the two began to walk off, "What's troubling you..."  she asked, "It's Tommy..." her heart sank. She hoped it wasn't about something she had done, 

" Is he okay..."

"It's his usual..." she sighed, "I caught him trying to shoot himself in the field before we arrived, and lately, he talks about you when he's not talking about Grace," she smiled, "I mean, shit if I were a man I'd talk about you too, you're gorgeous." Lizzie smiled as Eleanor laughed, "So are you," 

"But, I don't know if I can do it anymore..." she sighed, "With him and Mosely and the business, I rarely see Thomas, that love and lust we had is fading and-"

"You want to divorce him..." she asked, as Lizzie nodded, "I haven't told him, but I've been seeing someone for some time, and, "

"You want to move on,"

"Yeah, I think you two would make the sweetest pair, and I don't say that to too many women who come in contact with my Tommy, but..."

"Nora, Dette needs ya!" Virginia shouted

"Shit, Lizzie, hold that thought!" 

"I want Eleanor and Tommy to walk me if that's okay," Claudette asked. Vadoma and James nodded, "I don't want to upset ya," 

"Came as soon as Virginia told me. Who the hell is that?" Eleanor pointed towards James, "That's your uncle, it's a long story, now where's Thom-"

"Right here, " Thomas smiled on the other side of her, "Vadoma, James," he nodded, taking Claudette's hand. He was more nervous for her than she was, but in his mind, it was practice for Ruby, 

"Do you think this dress is okay?"

"It's fine Claudette..." Eleanor said, walking her down where everyone was,"

"You could be wearin rags, and Finn would still marry you." Tommy added, "He's right," Eleanor shrugged,

 "Just breathe and-" Finn turned to see her as butterflies gathered in his stomach. She was his beautiful spring bride, and he couldn't wait to share his life with her. Watching her walk down the aisle was like an angel floating from heaven toward him. Lifting up her veil, he had wanted to kiss her at that very moment in due time as the Ceremony took place. Eleanor and Tommy kept stealing glances at each other. Both Lizzie and Polly took notice. Maybe she was right. They did belong together, but only time would tell that. 

A few months later, they had been gathered around the same place, a burning Caravan holding the body of Polly in it. The Shelby and Williams families gathered around, paying their respects. Of course, this marked the end of an era, but at what cost. The danger was afoot, and Eleanor could sense it. Things would fall about soon. She just wondered for who. 

1934 Arrow house

"Does it ever stop hurting..."  Lizzie asked Eleanor in between sniffles,  "No, you just make room for it..."  she hugged her. Eleanor didn't know what it meant to lose a child, let alone imagine that aching pain, yet here they were gathered at Arrow house, mourning the loss of Ruby, or at least those who had wished to join, 

"Have you eaten anything at least, Lizzie..."

"I'm not hungry..."

"You know I didn't eat anything when I got wind my father died. I nearly starved for three days." she laughed a little, 

"Elle, you didn't..."

"I did until I remembered they would much love for you to live life than join them before it's your time." handing her a cloth from her purse to wipe her eyes. All around them, there was a circle of death, life, and rebirth. Across from Eleanor sat Claudette and Finn and their three-year-old daughter Serena who'd been taking a nap on the couch, and Arthur, who, as hard as he'd been failing, was trying his best to lead a life of recovery. 

"Charlie won't leave her room, and Tommy... well, he just wants revenge and-" she took a deep breath, 

"Cry if you need to," Eleanor said, rubbing her back,

"Ada, what's wrong..."  Virginia asked as Ada held Elizabeth's hand. Ada gave her the cold shoulder, "So we're back to that now..." she groaned, the two standing near the food. As usual, things had been rocky since Ben's death. Ada would stop by the brothel, service one of the women there, and if Virginia was lucky, she might look her way. But today, she was through with it all. 

"Ada Shelby, you look at me right now!" the room fell silent, all attention on the two, 

"I don't have the energy to argue with you..." Ada tried to walk off as Virginia got on one knee, 

"Then don't argue.... say yes?" Virginia asked, her fedora hat on her chest,

 "Are you fuckin serious right now..."

"I am..." Virginia smiled, "I would give up everything for you. I'd die for you. I'd leave my girls, anything to know you're by my side for the rest of my life." Ada shook her head, a bit shocked as to what was happening. Another Williams in the family, Eleanor had thought to herself, 

"What do you say..."

"FUCK IT, SHE SAYS YES! 

"Arthur, I can speak for myself..." she rolled her eyes, Virginia still kneeling down,

 "Will you commit to me..."

"I will..." 

"Then you have yourself a wife..." 

Westerham Heights

It had only been a  month, and they all were gathered after a funeral amongst themselves at a wedding. Tommy had been running late due to some business with Mosely, Eleanor, Lizzie, and Claudette  were helping Ada with her dress, "Do you think Pol would be proud?" Ada asked 

"I think she'd say, finally, you two ran off and tied the knot," Lizzie commented as Claudette chuckled, 

"It'd be more like you two fucking did it finally," Claudette chuckled, pointing her cigarette like Polly. Eleanor fixed the veil, 

"Elle, what do you think she'd say..."  Lizzie asked,

"Elle..."

"Get down!" Her gun pointed at the head of,

 "Don't shoot!"

"Andre..." she growled as he collapsed right in front of her, 

"Andre!"

"What the fuck just happened, " Lizzie asked, 

"Claudette, get your father now!"

Laying on Vadoma's bed was Andre. He had a few cuts, bruises, and dried blood covered in his clothes, almost smelling like death had grabbed him. James loomed over him, cleaning his cuts, stitching him back together as the wedding outside took place, 

"Is he okay?

"Looks like a hit gone wrong..." James said, 

"Could've been..." Eleanor responded it wasn't that she was being stand-offish. She couldn't imagine her older brother dead after seeing so many caravan burnings. It was a matter of time before who would be next, 

"We'll leave you two alone..."  Eleanor gave her aunt and uncle a nod as she sat by the door, 

"Andre, if you can hear me..." she took a breath, "I want you to know you caused this family great pain. 

"Your stupid fucking decisions led you to a greedy path..." she laughed, "A dark path, and for what a life so many who grew up like us could wish for, huh..." she snarled, "Our sister's wedding, and you decided to show your face," she growled, 

"I outta-"

"You... didn't... need... me," Andre spoke, his mouth a little dry as he struggled to sit up, "Andy..." she sat by his side as she used to when she was little, "I did this... so you could rise to power..." he coughed, 

"You nearly gave up our business,"

"But you made it stronger..." 

"You had Luca after us."

"And you defeated him..." 

"You partnered with Luca and Leslie..." 

"And Claudette took her down..." 

"You shot Virginia." she pointed her gun at his head, "Don't siblings fight..." he asked as she growled, "You betrayed this family endless times, and you expect me to appreciate that..." her hand shaking as her eyes watered, "You expect me to hug you and welcome you! You couldn't even stand up for me... you let your hatred get in the way. Your fucking greed gets in the way!" she shouted, "AND I HAVE TO ALWAYS CLEAN UP YOUR SHIT, SINCE 190 FUCKING 1."  

"Nora, I'm sorr-"

"YOU DON'T GET TO FUCKING SAY SORRY, YOU DON'T GET TO MAKE CHOICES FOR ME ANYMORE, YOU DON'T-"

BLAM!

"Eleanor..." Tommy ran toward the Caravan as he heard gunfire. Andre was holding his waist, blood on his hands. Eleanor gave him a look at him and gave him a nod. Taking Tommy's hand, she then left out.

 "We're even now..."

"Do I want to know..."

"I just want to go home, Tommy..." she laughed,

"I could take you to London."

"Take me to Moss Side," Eleanor smiled, 

"Moss Side? You grew up in fucking Moss Side?"  he blinked, "I wouldn't even step foot in Ardwick, and I have." he glanced at her as she shrugged, 

"Are we going or not?"

Moss Side  Manchester 

There it was, the bustle of streets and the slight smell of horse shit, it wasn't much, but to Eleanor, this was home, with pubs almost on every corner and a brothel on every other street. The cotton factories blowing smoke into the air, she was a child again, and for once, she was happy, happier than he'd ever seen her,

 "I'd take Birmingham over this any day..." 

"Scared, Mr. Shelby?" she teased as Tommy laughed. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't, "What's so fucking scary about Moss Side." Tommy winked, his nose scrunching up a little at the stench. It was a cute look if Eleanor had to be honest with herself about it,

 "Come on, Birmingham, you can take the stench of horse shite,"  leading the way to the Claremont pub. The two walked across the street, some kids playing, others making mischief, and some making the best of where they lived,

 Inside the pub was little hints of furnishings of the Victorian era, still as cozy as she remembered it to be when she had to fetch her father out from late nights.  

"Sorry to mither ya, but aren'tcha Louis's girl?" the barmaid had said, "Yeah, I am. Who's askin?" If Tommy hadn't been in love with her before, he was now, 

"It's me, Trudy,"

"Trudy Chapman...  Fuckin Trudy!" she gasped, "Oh, now I'm buzzin'!" Eleanor smiled. Trudy and Eleanor had been best friends since they shared a crust of a sandwich together in school,  

"How's ya muva still the same..."

"She's still a bit snide, but nevertheless still luvley." Eleanor chuckled. Something about her accent drove Tommy insane. Maybe it was because it wasn't like the posh ones he'd hear every day in the parliament or the fact all this time how he thought she was a Londoner when really she was a girl from the north and west of Birmingham, 

"Well, Ellie, I 'eard you was, engaged. Is that so?" Eleanor began to fiddle with her hand, a melancholy look on her face. If Tommy hadn't known, better he would say she'd have started crying, "It is," he interjected, holding her hand, "It is?" Eleanor looked at him, his blue eyes looking to the side of Trudy, telling her to play along, 

"It is! This is my Fiance, Mr. Thomas Shelby?"

"Thomas Shelby, like the fuckin politician and Peaky..." 

"That would be me." he tipped the peak of his cap,

"Oh, he's sound and 'Andsome." Trudy chuckled, 

"Well, can I get you two, Owt?"

"We're just gaggin' for a brew," Eleanor said, her head on Tommy's shoulder, 

" A brew at a pub?"

"He doesn't drink Whiskey anymore," she whispered, watching as Trudy walked away, "You didn't have to do that, you know..." she smiled. Tommy shrugged his shoulders, "I rather you smile than cry." he held her close.

 "So you really grew up here, love."

"Right down that street, ova there," Eleanor pointed, "If we were lucky, we could beat the scuttlers before school. Usually, Andre got 'is ass 'anded to 'im ova there, but that's what sisters are for." she sighed, mentioning his name,

 "No, there will be no frownin around me, do you hear." 

"Tommy..."

"I mean it. There's been enough fuckin sadness going on, " Tommy looked at her. Tommy was right, and he knew that when he returned home, Tommy would have to face Mosely, Jack, and his annoying niece Gina, for right now, Tommy Shelby was with the woman beside him,  "Mista Sadness tellin me to be cheery 'uh." she sassed as he laced his fingers with hers, "Yeah I am..." his blue eyes filled with admiration, 

"What's wrong wif you," 

"Your accent."

"What ya don't like it?" she pulled away from him as he laughed, 

"Don't having a benny on me."

"A what..." she looked at him, a bit confused, 

"He means a strop." Trudy smiled, setting both tea cups down, "I run into a few Brummies, including this cute one." Trudy grinned, "You don't say maybe Tommy knows  'em?" Eleanor said, adding sugar to her tea. Both Trudy and Eleanor watched Thomas fix his tea, 

"We don't all know each other."

"Oy, you're gonna be drinkin sugar with hits of brew in it, huh," Trudy commented, taking the sugar slowly from Tommy, "And, you're right, maybe he doesn't know 'im," she sighed, 

"I mean, he's from Small Heath an-"

"I might know him..." Eleanor laughed at his quick reaction, then back at Trudy's, 

"What's he look like?" 

"Well, he's tall, luves boxin, similar eyes like yours and-"

"Arthur Shelby?" Eleanor blinked, "You fancy Arthur?"

 "What's so funny..." 

"That's my older brother," Tommy said as Trudy gasped, "He's the most beautiful thin I ever seen." her brown cheeks had a soft red hue, "Is he seein anyone?" she asked, "I'd love to meet him... Again... maybe naked," she smirked, "Could think of some fun thins he and I could-" Tommy cleared his throat as Eleanor chuckled, 

"Never change, Trudy." 

As the night went on, Eleanor was by Tommy's side, the two walking the streets and chatting until they were standing in an alleyway, one she knew all too well. A shiver went down her spine. Tommy noticed how her once strong demeanor grew stiff and weak. She could hear ringing in her ear and a taste of blood in her mouth. Suddenly it was 1902, and she was 12 years old, trembling in her mother's arms, hearing the loud blaring noise of a gun firing off. She felt empty like time stood still, and it was now catching up to her,

"The Alleyway that gave me the name The Pearl..." she swallowed, then laughed, 

"You don't have to walk down it," Tommy said. 

Eleanor turned her face to look at him, "I do..." she smiled, looking back down the dark alley, "I can't free myself if I don't. I can't forgive him if I don't." Tommy only gave her a nod, knowing she knew what was best for her, 

"I'm coming with you." 

"You-"

"I've let you in. Just this once, let me in." Tommy asked. The two began to walk down the alley, the moon peeping through.

 "So why do they call ya the pearl?"

"Innocence and modesty ironically lost those at a young age, " she took a deep breath, "I was deemed as something everyone wanted, and everyone wants pearls," she laughed. The sound was a bit melancholic. Tommy took hold of her hand, listening to her,

 "But I called myself the pearl because I wanted to be untouchable..." she sighed, "To never feel that way again. Never be touched that way again,"

"Did you ever feel that way again?"

"Not when I was with you. I always want you touchin me," Eleanor giggled, the last flame of the street lamp flickering, "Or kissin me, holdin me even, but anybody else gets fuckin shot." he nodded, waiting for her to notice that they made it out the alleyway. "Seems you did it, darlin," kissing her cheek, "I did..." she hugged him. Tommy hugged her back, not wanting to let her go. He felt sorry for what she had to go through, but he knew either way, she was still the strong woman he knew that London feared. Looking back at her old home, she then took a step back towards Thomas,

"Should we head to Small Heath?" Eleanor asked?

"Thought you'd never ask."

Small Heath

Eleanor had driven the first few minutes back to Birmingham until she grew tired, and Tommy offered to finish the entire way, so now there was Thomas Shelby  with his favorite woman wearing his overcoat like a blanket with her head pressed forward on the window, yet he was still alone with his thoughts, about introducing his son he'd found with Esme's help, and the slight fact Tommy may or may not be dying, or that his love for Lizzie was fizzing out faster than a pop, but nothing mattered when he saw her relaxed state in that seat, 

"Tom... I think I may be in love with you..." Eleanor laughed, her vibrant brown eyes glassy and wide, trying not to fall asleep, "What makes you say that, love." His eyes on the road, the quiet sounds of nature as their music, "Well, I trust ya more than anyone. You're in my dreams. I see us 'avin a big family an," she yawned, "No matter 'ow much you piss me off, I can't leave ya..." 

"I'm not going anywhere either," he reassured her,

 "Good, c-cause you're me, best friend." she laughed, her eyes slowly closing as she curled into the heat of his coat, his scent soothing her, 

"I thought Trudy was Your best friend?"

"Trudy's second, an you're first now." her sleepy smile made his heart race. It was something he'd want to see on snowy days in London when the roads were icy. And the horses would be kept warm. They could spend the day in bed with her looking at him the way she was right now as he'd hold her on his chest, and they'd sleep the day away, no troubles, no worries, just them. 

"Don't smile at me like that."

"Like what.." she looked at him, batting her heavy-lidded eyelashes at him, 

"Like that,"

"Or what?"

"You're gonna make me marry ya." she  smiled again as she looked up at him, "Is that proposal me, beloved?" 

"Could be..." 

It had been an hour once they made it to Watery Lane with the lights still on and the Shelby headquarters and family home. As the door swung open, there stood Lizzie, whose face had anger riddled all over it, 

"Where the fuck have you been, Thomas..." turning to see his wife. Eleanor held onto him, her heels in hand as she was wrapped up his coat, "We left the weddin an went to Moss Side got some brew for tea, an, went down an old ginnel an we 'ere?"

"What the hell is she saying..."

"We went for a cuppa for tea and went down an alley, " she translated herself, 

"What were you doing in fucking Moss Side of all places. Rather you two go to Ardwick,"

"She's a manc,"

"A very tired Manc from Moss Side," Eleanor said. Lizzie then ushered the two in, rolling her eyes playfully at her husband, "Thomas, could we talk..." pulling him aside, "What's wrong..." something in the pit of his stomach told him this wasn't going to be good, after all, she'd already heard the news about him and Diana, she wouldn't shut her mouth about it during dinner, sure he had his affairs and flings for a distraction but, really since the death of Ruby things hadn't been the same and she knew they never would, 

"I want a divorce,"

"If that's what you want, then we'll get one." he sighed, running his fingers through his hair, 

"I'll take Charles with me, and we'll be out of your hair." she smiled,

 "Where is my happy ending..."  Tommy asked, trying to hold back his tears, he did love Lizzie, but he knew deep down she deserved more than to be there because of a child they no longer had, "She's in the kitchen with Arthur," Lizzie smiled, 

"I know about you and Eleanor, and I get it. Really I do. She's gorgeous, she understands you more than I ever could, you two share something special, and she can talk you down. I feel like I only bring you down, dear."  her thumb on Tommy's face wiping away a tear from his cheek, "Please, Tommy, smile for me..." she kissed his nose, "Worst-case scenario, we just simply weren't meant." 

Eleanor's heart shattered for Tommy and Lizzie as she heard from the kitchen what was being said. Claudette and Finn passing her bandages to help clean up Arthur from another binge and fight,

"What's wrong with ya?" 

"I'm fine, Mr. Shelby..." Eleanor said 

"Nah, you ain't. I 'ere it in your fuckin voice." 

"He's right.." Finn said, "You don't sound happy?" both Eleanor and Arthur glared at the couple as Claudette gulped, "I hear Serena crying... come along, handsome," pulling him away, 

"Did I mess up something good..." 

"You... no, if anything, Tommy almost missed somethin good," Arthur said, "Around you, he's happier, less of a pain in the ass, if you will," placing a cloth to his forehead and cleaning blood off it, "You're kind, but not easy to fuck with, you don't scare easy, hell if Tommy wasn't into ya I'd be, but don't tell 'em that." Eleanor blushed as she hugged him, a huff of pain leaving his lips, 

"Thanks, Mr. Shelby..."

"Call me Arthur,"

"Alright, Artie,"

"You're pushin your luck there," he said as she laughed, pulling away as she was about to leave  the kitchen, "Can I be honest with ya?"

"Of course, I think you should forgive your brother. A brother is the only person you can trust, who won't betray ya," he commented, 

"Did you..."

"He saved me life." 

"Eleanor Williams, can we talk?" Tommy said, coming into the kitchen, "Full name must be in trouble, huh," Arthur mumbled, "Of course, sliding the door to the betting den. The two walked to his office, "Look, Thomas, I can leave if you'd like. I'm terribly sorry for any pain I caused or-." Sitting on his desk, Tommy kissed her passionately. He wanted her to be as close to him as possible, his hands wrapped around her waist, looking at him in shock, "Lizzie was right..."

"About what?"

"You and I," 

"Thomas Michael Shelby, where is this going..." 

"Well, Eleanor Vadoma Williams, I'm marrying you." 

"With what fucking ring Thomas," she asked, pulling out the garnet ring. This time, it was different, cut like a pear with the pearls of her mother's ring adorning it, "When did you..."

"The night you gave it back." 

"What would Aunt Pol say to this..."

"It's about fucking time you two got married." Ada said, her wife draped around her waist, "She's right. I've been tired of your weepin about not marrying this man, so in this case, she says yes." 

"I can speak for meself..." Eleanor said,

 "Then what do you say."

"Yes, I'll marry you." she nodded. She remembered what Lizzie told her at Finn's wedding, and maybe this was what fate had in store for her, besides one must never look a gifted horse in the mouth,

 "Who's getting married now..." Lorcan grumbled as Julian  smirked, "I believe it's those two."

"Finally..."  Lizzie smiled,

London

Heels clicked down the hall as Eleanor held flowers in her hand. Tommy had sent off to Canada again to go meet Michael. It bought her some time to take in Arthur's words. He was right. There was nothing like having a brother. And when she thought about it, Andre was all she had now that Louis had been gone for so long. Here she was, giving him the cold shoulder. Opening the door of his hospital room sat Bernadette,

"How's he doing?"

"He's currently doing his exercises." Bernadette responded, "Oh, good. Well, I have news-"

"Mother, you're here." Andre smiled, "And you as well, Ellie," he glanced at her. Eleanor felt small, but she still felt like what she did was right, 

"Yeah, I wanted to apologize for shootin ya,"

"No, you responded the way I wanted you to." 

"What?" she blinked, 

"It was a test." Bernadette smirked, "A test for what?" she questioned as Andre laughed, "To see if you could handle the heat of the company," both of their expressions serious, "You betrayed the family..." she growled, "I did... and you handled every test while in the states amazingly." he laughed, "Even the last one,"

"And you were in on this," turning to Bernadette, who gave her a nod, "Your father and his uncles did the same thing to him and to Andre and now Andre to you," she said, "You not only knew I was alive, but you managed to save the company from my shit," 

"How'd you..."

"I might have partnered up with Lorcan and the Lee family."

"But I thought you disliked The Shelby family," 

"Well, one Lorcan is a Lee. He's a half-brother, he's an artist, and he's-"

"He's what... your type?" she asked as Andre rolled his eyes, "He was a good spy, is all," Bernadette laughed at her son, his face and ears red, "Might be another Romani wedding, I see..." she commented as Eleanor cleared her throat, "Speaking of weddings, "Tommy and I are engaged..." the room fell silent Andre laughed, "You and the Shelby guy, I mean it makes sense, you two are stubborn two peas in a pod, but I respect his design in a ring." he held her hand looking at it, he'd known those pearls anywhere they were Bernadette's pearls from her ring, and they accented Eleanor well, 

"Is it going to be a traditional wedding?"

"Well, we were thinking of a Romani wedding and a reception, maybe," she looked at her mother, 

"And who's walking you down?"

"Maybe Virginia." Andre cleared his throat as Eleanor gave him a smile, "Fine, you can walk me down, but don't go tryin to shoot Tommy, besides I've been told to forgive you," she stuck her tongue out at him as if they were children again, 

"Is that an apology? I hear..." 

"Oh, why don't you do one." she shoved him, 

"Oi, you two behave yerselves!" Bernadette commanded, her Irish accent peaking out from the heap of posh she hid it under, 

"Sorry..."  

As the week progressed, Eleanor and the rest of The Shelby women took it amongst themselves to go wedding shopping for something borrowed, blue, new,  and even old. One of the maids had come downstairs with a chess, a lock on the front of it, "Do you think it's a dead body in it?" Claudette asked as  Ada and Virginia nudged her, 

"Why would I be gifted a dead body..."

"Remember who you're marrying," Lizzie said, laughing as Eleanor chuckled, "I doubt that would be sent to me here," she stated. Bernadette and Vadoma walked in as she took the key from the young woman unlocking the box. In it was an old dress that seemed to have dated back to the 1880s, along with a veil, pearls, and shoes. It was the entire wedding set, "I saved this for you," handing her the dress, 

"How'd you know,"

"Vadoma."

" I read her palms," she smiled, 

"Aunt Pol read mine too!" Claudette gasped as Virginia laughed, "It's kinda a traditional thing," Ada whispered as Lizzie nodded, "Speaking of tradition, go try the dress on?"

"Are you sure?"

"You gotta see if it fits, no?" Vadoma rushed her out, dress in hand, 

"Well..." 

"You look gorgeous..." Ada blushed, 

"Tommy is going to love it..." 

"I think you look alright?" Virginia commented, "I mean, nothing beats my Ada in her dress," she kissed her wife as Lizzie laughed, "If you were a man, I think Ada would be pregnant with baby number 6," Claudette mumbled under her breath. Eleanor then took a twirl in her dress, a wash of joy spreading over her as it sunk in. She was getting married. It was finally happening. Small sobs left her mother's mouth, happier than her own daughter that she had finally found true love, 

"How's the shoes fit?"

"They're low to my liking, but I love them." Eleanor giggled, "I feel like royalty, honestly."

"Technically, you will be," Vadoma smirked, "He comes from Royalty?"

"Wait, what?" Lizzie blinked,

"It's Romani royalty,"  Ada added, 

"Oh..."

"It makes him a very sound man, to be fair, and it still counts Lizzie," Virginia commented,

Westerham Heights

"Two weddings months apart, eh," Tommy laughed, standing in front of Eleanor's Caravan, another surprise she didn't expect to see, let alone know about. Inside it was things she mostly thought were gone, like old toys, jewelry, pictures, letters, and even her favorite teddy bear, "I think it's sweet, actually," she smiled as Bernadette laced up the dress. She was wearing earrings that Lizzie bought her as a gift, a bracelet borrowed from Ada, Virginia's blue tie pin holding her veil in place, 

"You know you could be naked, and I'd still marry you,"

"Tommy! don't be Angin in front of my mother. She can hear you,"

"Sorry Mrs, Williams..." 

"Pretend I'm not her, why don't you." she shook her head, "Just don't make me a grandmother too quickly," 

"Can't make any promises," Eleanor mumbled, feeling the weight of gold on her neck, "You know I would've been fine married in a more comfortable dress or somethin," her mother's eyes glaring her down as she groaned,

 "But traditions, fine too..." 

"Ay, we're startin any minute," Julian announced, the two brothers walking away from the Caravan, 

"You nervous, Tommy?" 

"Nah, I think I'm sure I got it right this time," he smiled, fixing his brother's hat, "I was thinking of settlin down eventually. Don't know with who yet, but..." Julian smiled, "I want a legacy like you,"

"First try not to get shot at so much," he joked, 

"I can try,"

"Good, I can't lose another brother," 

"Am I late?" a brown skin woman said, running down wearing a fur wrap and a gold-colored dress, a bit of cleavage hanging out, her hair was in tight curls, and her makeup a bit heavy. She was still beautiful, running a bit more her heel had gotten stuck in a soft patch of soft grass, "Shit... shit... shit..."  she groaned, "I'm gonna be late, an Elle's not gonna forgive me, an-" as she nearly fell onto her face a pair of hands caught her, 

"Need help there, love?" his accent was just as thick as she remembered when he crossed the bridge and landed in her pub. "I'd like that a lot. I was tryin to leg it, an I got a bit into trouble," she laughed, 

"Always fucking soft patches of grass, eh," 

"Innit somethin," she smiled as Arthur winked, 

"'Ere hold on to me," helping her out the grass as the two fell over, "I'm so sorry!" looking into his blue eyes as he gazed into her grey-colored ones, 

"Clumsy, ain'tcha," he joked.

"I can be unless I'm carryin a fine brew or beer." she looked at him, "You look like you know a thin or two about a good whiskey?" 

"You'd be fuckin right," pulling out a cigarette and taking a lighter from her purse, she lit it for him, 

"Related to the bride?"

"No, I'm 'er childhood friend Trudy Chapman," she smiled, 

"Arthur Shelby,"

"Got a plus one, Mr. Shelby?

"Came alone"

"Not anymore," she winked at him, linking her arm with his own, 

"Is that Trudy Chapman..."  Andre asked, walking down Eleanor, "Mhmm..." she smiled from the last time they had a wedding at the camp. She didn't remember the walk being this long. But Eleanor also didn't care, for this time she was walking to get to Tommy and to start a life with him, one that would be challenging and fulfillment of wonder, "You look pretty in the dress..." he said, trying to make small talk, "So when are you gonna marry Lorcan?" she teased, " Elle, that could never happen," he kept walking her down, "You know I waited for this day to happen, just didn't think you'd marry a Shelby." he laughed, 

"Andre..."

"Hear me out. Once I met Arthur, then saw how Claudette was happy and Virginia committed to something, I realized, you need someone to beat you at your own game, and that's Thomas," he sighed, 

"I may not trust him, but if you like him, then I'll be cordial towards him and his rat family of crime,"

"They're our family too,"

"No, your family," he laughed, 

Standing behind Tommy was his beautiful bride tapping him on the shoulder. He turned to face her. He'd never seen a woman so beautiful except for maybe the ones in the paintings. Andre then lifted up her veil as he gave her away with a kiss on the cheek. Taking his hand. Eleanor was growing deeper in love with him, 

"If it were up to me, you wouldn't be in that dress for long,"

" Tommy, God's watching." she smiled. 

Standing before them were Vadoma and Johnny Dogs. Who was holding a ribbon,

 Placing both of their palms out, Vadoma took a knife cutting each as she dipped a slice of bread in both of their blood, 

"You two will both eat the bread and become one." without hesitation, they both ate the bread, joyous laughter escaping their lips, 

"John, the ribbon, please?" Vadoma asked as he nodded, "Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Shelby," he smirked, 

"You two are now united by blood as one."Tommy kissed her, their foreheads resting against each other. Cheers and tears were heard through the crowd as Eleanor giggled, 

"We're married," 

"We're fucking married," he kissed her again

The Pearl

"You know I wouldn't think you'd want your reception at the club..."  Andre said, watching his sister drink, "We figured it was big enough for all of us. Tommy's getting rid of his house, and it's a beautiful place in any way," she shrugged, wearing a white gown fabric draping down her back.

 "Alright, who ordered the old fashion, an a bottle of Gin?" Trudy asked. Arthur came up to the bar taking the bottle from her, "Careful with that one. It's got a strong kick to it," he commented as she leaned closer towards him, "That makes two of us," the band playing slowly in the background, Arthur smirked, he hadn't had a woman who oozed sex appeal in awhile, yet also innocence, she was a nice mix of what he was missing in life, 

"You, me, the cellar?" 

"Are ya askin or commanding,"

"I'm fuckin tellin ya," 

"Yes, sir..." 

"I think we should head home," Claudette said, Serena on her shoulder, "What if we.. leave her with Ada and Virgina and have our own fun," Finn smirked, pulling her closer. Claudette could only laugh at her husband and his boy-like charm, "Finn..." she said, a bit flustered, "Yes, Mrs. Shelby," he kissed her lips as she kissed back," I guess we could start on that big family you want so bad," Claudette said as she then saw her sister-in-law, "So where are you two going to honeymoon to," Andre continued to ask, her eyes were on Tommy, something about him in the suit she had tailored for him with his glasses in his mouth was setting her ablaze. "Excuse me for a second," she ignored her brother. Tommy had been talking to a few guests, knowing that he only had a reception for the press and his so-called image,

 "Mr. Shelby, may I steal you for a while," she glanced over as she saw Diana and Mosley, the sight of them making her sick, "When I said to move up in the world, I didn't mean with the likes of -," 

"The renowned Jazz singer who has several charities?" she commented, looking them both up and down. Tommy looked down at the short frame of his wife as he held her near," Congratulations on your engagement. Now if you'll excuse us,"  Tommy began to walk away, the two scoffing at the newlywed couple, 

"The world will never accept you, Thomas,"

"They already don't," snapping her finger, Andre came running, signally for Lorcan to escort them out, 

"And where are you two going?"

"To get into some trouble," 

"I should have known," Bernadette smiled, kissing her son-in-law on the cheek, "Think you can keep shop while we're away for a bit? Tommy asked,

"This is my shop, sweetheart," smoking her cigarette as she looked at him, 

"Have you packed your bags?" 

"Yes, mother,"

"Fed the horses," 

"Yes, mother," 

"Said goodbye to everyone?"

"Yes, mother," 

"Have you had Vdoma check for rain?"

"Of course, " she lied, 

The Gray Camp

Sitting next to Thomas was Eleanor, the two venturing out to the great wilderness on his Caravan, no destination insight except for where fate was taking them. Resting her head on his shoulder, she took in his scent as she listened to the sounds around her, "Peaceful..." 

"Just us, no business," he kissed her forehead, "I'll teach ya how to hunt, and we'll live off what we can find an-" 

BOOM!

The strong sound of thunder shook the ground, and the two grabbed their guns, ready to shoot anyone coming for them. A drop of rain had hit Eleanor on the forehead, and suddenly she'd wished she had Vadoma check the weather. 

"It's not that ..." 

"Don't finish that sentence,"  the rain began to pour harder as she laughed, "It's not that bad. We'll set up camp here, under the stars, the moon is beautiful, and I get to be with you," she gave him a quick peck on the cheek, "Alone..." she then kissed his nose, "In the rain," kissing his ear, "With my husband," Tommy pulled her in for a deep kiss, her hands resting on his chest, his around her waist, "Tommy..." she moaned out, his lips on her neck, her skin heating up by his touch, "Yes darlin?" his blue eyes looking up at her, glints of moonlight caught in them, "Why don't we move this to bed?" she rasped feeling him nibble at her neck, picking her Tommy carried her over the threshold of his Caravan. The two laughed at the irony of the traditional significance. Tommy then put her down as she pinned him against the wall, "We're doing this again, love?" he smirked as she winked, "Figured why not. It's been our thing since we first met," she leaned in, licking his bottom lip as he groaned, Tommy knew that he'd still be in charge, but for tonight Tommy would let his wife take the reigns, pulling her hair Tommy couldn't resist attacking her neck in kisses and hickey's after hearing her gasp, Eleanor was driving him insane by the noises she made, but Tommy didn't want to pounce just yet, after all, it was their wedding night, and it was meant to be a special one, pulling away, he spun her around, Eleanor now with her back towards the wall, and her arms dropping over Tommy's back, 

"Why don't you strip for me, aye," 

"Why don't you do it for me..." Eleanor whispered, biting at his earlobe as he nearly folded by the action. As Eleanor continued, Tommy finally found the zipper on her dress, watching the fabric fall off her body. He still was in disbelief that the woman before him was his wife, "What's wrong?"

"Admiring art," he stared his irises blown as he'd just seen a painting come to life. Sitting on the bed, Eleanor unclasped her bra, her legs crossed, dropping the garment, "Why don't you give your wife a show," she beckoned him over. Tommy laughed as she smiled that beautiful smile he'd hoped wouldn't tarnish anytime soon, "You want a show, I'll give ya one," unbuttoning his waistcoat as it joined the pile of clothes on the floor, Eleanor had her bottom lip between her teeth with just how slow he was going, she knew he was teasing her, but she was dying in agony waiting for him to strip. 

" You're cute when you're concentratin," Eleanor giggled, helping him with his pants, 

"Then I must be always cute to you," he winked as she shook her head rolling her eyes, "You're a fucking flirt, you know," Eleanor laughed, taking him by the arm as he loomed overtop of her, 

"How'd you know I  love fucking," He winked as she laughed hard, "Tommy, shut up and fuck me," kissing the tears welling in her eyes as she was still stuck on his horribly funny joke. This is what he wanted his married life to be like, laughter and a connection between two souls searching for so much more than just love, 

"Needy are we,"

"Have been since we met," she whispered, tracing the shape of his war tattoo on his chest. Tommy kissed down the middle of her breast, his hand massaging her perked nipple as his mouth focused on the other, swirling his tongue around the budded skin. He could hear her breath hitch, almost as if she were afraid to let out a moan. Switching to the other, Eleanor couldn't help but snake her hands in his hair, eyes fluttering at the ever-so-long sensation, 

"You alright up there."

"Mhmm," she nodded, "Don't stop," 

"Wasn't going to," trailing his hand further down to the hem of her underwear, another gasp as she groaned at his teasingly slow movements. Sliding his fingers between her folds, he noticed her body twitch and how soaking wet she was just from the little he had already done. Sliding off the garment, Eleanor felt the cool spring breeze hit her sensitive bud. Pumping his fingers slowly into her, he couldn't help but watch how her back arched or the curses leaving her lips, "Tommy ... faster," she whined, her voice breathy, "I thought I was in charge here," he commented picking up the pace of his fingering as she growled, a high pitched moan following suit, Tommy then leaned in close lapping at her glistening, wet slick, biting at her bud, her legs wrapped around his face tugging at his dark locks, "Don't waste any o- FUCK that's it!" her body shaking harshly her climax approaching faster than she'd thought it to be, Tommy didn't want to come up for air, but he didn't want her to cum just yet either, taking his finger he collected her arousal on his finger licking it clean off, 

"I want to taste me on your lips..."  she breathed hard, catching her breath as she brought him closer. The taste was sweet on her tongue. It was euphoric, but now it was her turn to taste him. Pulling away from the kiss, Tommy groaned until he saw his bride in front of him on her knees, 

"You sure about this, sweetheart,"

"I want to taste you, all of you,"  her hands on his thighs, those eyes he admired becoming more jaded with lust, "Then don't waste a single fucking drop..." Writhing in pleasure as her mouth was at the base of his cock, it was no surprise that Thomas Shelby was girthy and endowed with a nice size. It showed how he carried himself, "Right there, fuck..." his eyes closed, grunts and groans for his beautiful lover. Tommy was getting close, and she could feel it from how he'd been twitching, trying a trick of the tongue on him. He came oozing out like melted ice cream, "Did I waste anything?" she asked, her mouth open, "Not a single drop," kissing her forehead and then her lips. This was definitely something he could get used to, maybe even wake up to her pretty lip wrapped around his "You're thinkin about somethin, aren't cha?" her accent getting thicker,

 "No, I..." 

"Tommy, let your heart do the thinkin, relax..." coming behind him as she kissed his neck, his muscles no longer tense. She could see the stress piling up in his eyes, pushing him down. Eleanor straddled him, her hands on his shoulders. From the look she was giving him, Tommy knew what she was about to do next. Sinking down on his cock he noticed how her nose crinkled up, adjusting to the sting of the stretching, "Breathe through your nose," rubbing circles on her back, "I can take the pain," closing her eyes as she was down to the hilt of him, 

"I wouldn't have married ya if you coul- Eleanor Fuck!" he moaned, feeling the slight movement of her hips,

 "That's what I Ah! thought..." swaying her hips forward, picking up her pace, her heading falling back, she could feel his hand holding her steady, the sound of skin on skin and heaving breathing could be heard as the rain from the outside only poured down harder, 

"Right there! Don't st-aph!" fingers pulling his hair,

"You feel so fucking amazing,"  Tommy whispered in her ear, lost in his moans. Eleanor was gripping him as if she didn't want to let him go. Pulsating and twitching, Tommy poured into her until he was nearly spent, 

Laying there panting, Tommy turned to kiss his wife, sloppy and a bit lazy, grabbing her closer to him, limbs pressing together, "That ... may have been the best sex I ever had," Rolling over to his side of the bed, Eleanor only laughed pulling him back into the kiss tracing patterns in his skin, "There's a difference between sex and love," she corrected him feeling his lips trail up and down her skin, the moonlight shining through the window illuminating her skin cuddling close her head resting on his chest listening to his heartbeat, 

"Eleanor Vadoma Shelby, will you marry me..." 

"We're already married, but I'd do it again in a heartbeat," she giggled, hearing Tommy yawn. His eyelids were growing heavy, but he'd be damned if he was the first to fall asleep, 

" I think if we had a son, I'd want to name him Louis... or John after your brother." Tommy ran his fingers through her hair, the soothing rain relaxing him, "A son, aye?" he smiled, "Yes, a son, and he'd have your eyes. He'd be kind, a mean streak in him. I just know it," she laughed, Tommy liked the sound of that, 

"Darling, don't you think it's too soon. We did just-"

"It only takes one time, " cutting him off as he laughed, 

Christmas 1940-The Connolly Mansion

"Louis, why are you covered in mud," 

"John, have you got punch on your shirt already," 

"Where's Esmeralda..." 

"Charlie, have you seen Priscilla?"  Eleanor asked, "She's in the library," he said, watching Eleanor race up the steps, "Someone's in a hurry," Tommy said, his arms around his wife's waist, her red velvet dress pressed against his suit, stealing a kiss he bit her lip as she moaned, "We could sneak off you and me..." 

"That's how we got four children." she whispered, "Besides, it's Christmas, and we have guests an-"

CRASH!

"Serena did it!" was all Tommy and Eleanor heard, groaning, knowing whatever it was that was broken could be replaced, "Priscilla threw the ball! "

"Priscilla Bernadette Elizabeth Shelby!" Tommy calmly shouted, "Do we still have time to sneak off?" 

[serialfirstdater]

London Platonic Hang #2: The Dragonboat Dad

From my first dating entry in London, I mentioned how I swiped the London Nurse before I landed. However, he was not the only person I swiped on Hinge. Correction, my friends swiped someone else for me.

To rewind, I came across a shorter Asian man I was uncertain about. I left him on top of my Hinge pile because I knew he made good money. After all, if you know me, you know what I am prioritizing with dating profiles. When I told my friends about being back on Hinge, they decided to swipe him on my behalf.

The man and I started talking, exchanging voice notes. He was articulate and sounded like a friendly person. After almost a week of sporadic voice notes, he apologized for getting back to me late.

"I don't know if I told you this, but I have a 4-year-old son with my ex-wife," he said at the start of his voice note. Which, I had no idea at the time.

I double-checked his Hinge profile only to realize that he did state that he had a kid but I never checked, nor did my friends who matched him for me.

He proceeded to tell me in the voice note that he and his ex-wife were in the middle of a custody battle and up until recently, he hadn't seen his son in 10 months. My heart went out to him but I knew this was not something I wanted to pursue. I did not mind divorced men, but single dads? A no-no in my books at this stage in my life. Especially when I was about to live my life in London and the world was my oyster.

I responded, mentioning I had no idea he had a child but told him I could not date anyone in that life stage. However, since it sounded like we got along, I would love for him to be one of my first friends in London.

He told me he understood and would love to be friends. He provided his number and told me to message him once I landed.

Fast forward two weeks to the night I had my date with the London Nurse. It was late into the night and I had just turned down the London Nurse.

I felt awful for rejecting him and had finished crying to my cousin on the phone. I remembered the Dragonboat Dad and decided, heck, let's just message him and see. I texted him, saying I was now in London and was keen to meet if he was still interested.

He didn't get back to me until the following evening or two days later. Turned out he was in the U.S. for work but was down to meet up once he returned to London.

Some days later, he messaged me and we arranged for a hang. He forgot that the day we were supposed to meet, England was against the Netherlands for the Euro Cup.

Being a born and raised Londoner, there was no way he was going miss one of the biggest games. He asked if I would be interested in watching the game with him at Boxpark Shoreditch, a cool food and retail park known for bringing people together for sports screenings (that is closing down at the end of summer :( ). Otherwise, he was happy to hang out another time.

Of course, trying to integrate myself into the culture as quickly as possible, I was keen to join the Brits to watch the footy.

I met him at Boxpark and knew that had this been a date, I would've mentally friendzoned him. Unfortunately, he was not someone I would've been attracted to, but I loved his energy. It was great that we had already established a friendship because I spoke my mind freely and connected with him without judgment.

England won against the Netherlands that day, which meant England was to face off against Spain for the finals. The Dragonboat Dad invited me to a viewing party with the rest of the Dragonboat crew that he was active in. He told me there was no pressure but I wanted to meet new people as quickly as possible so I said yes and put it into my calendar immediately.

That Sunday, I went to the Dragonboat Dad's friend's flat and met several new people. I connected with a lovely Chinese British girl over our dating traumas and compared notes on the London dating scene.

About 20 minutes in, a guy came up to the food table where the other girl and I were chatting by. We locked eyes, had a moment of recognition, and pointed our fingers at each other once we realized who the other was.

"Ah, you!" I pointed with a smile on my face. "I know you!"

He was one of the first men who started talking to my friend and I at the first Thursday Dating event with his friend (the same one, once again, where I met the Swedish Yogi). We chatted for 20 minutes before they moved on to the next girls but did not exchange numbers. (His friend though did try really hard to take my friend home that night, long after I had left. She wasn't interested at all LOL).

We connected immediately, having known each other prior. Also, small Asian communities, am I right?

The party itself was fun. I played board games with everyone and explained to those curious about how I ended up in London. Unfortunately for the Londoners, England lost against Spain for the Euro Cup. But after these two games, I grew to appreciate football and a patriotic spirit amongst footy fans.

Overall, I was glad to have connected with the Dragonboat Dad and hope he will be one of the friends I will stay in touch with throughout my life here in London.

[insufferable-talkstuck]

fo da classpecting

first things first I am incredibly lonely; come to think of it, my entire family is lonely. I was pretty isolated in my childhood, and no matter how I tried to talk to others, people eventually forgot I existed. I dont socialize with a lot of people now and i dont know how to. Same deal with my family, they think they have new friends in a new neighborhood and suddenly nobody is talking with them much anymore. In some instances its kind of funny when people forget that im there, and whenever I leave its like their short-term memory deletes me from their brain.

I was also a very very angry child. Im still angry but i repress it around people. One thing that really annoys me is when people assume im "pure" or "innocent" when i do not view myself like that at all. Its so goddamn weird when I do something and someone else is like "you're a little ray of sunshine!" no i am not. Stop acting like i am a baby. Im an angry and vengeful person who's become depressed enough to not have the energy to actively pursue my vengeance spree. I can only do it in my mind because of the no-energy thing, where im fucking shit up in a violently physical way. in my mind, they always deserve it.

I dont care about liars at all, however its a specific type of liar. if you lie to protect something other than yourself, thats fine. if you lie for malicious reasons i hope you get dropped off a cliff. I destroyed someone elses friendship on purpose because I lead them into exposing their own lie. It was me and 4 other people against the 1 person, and i put the idea of and encouraged/pushed the other 4 into essentially ostracizing the other person from the group. and yknow what? it was really fucking fun to do it. felt great.

Going back to the socialization thing, letting people know me is an awful feeling. I could tell someone online only my name and im already contemplating fake-deleting my account so i'll never have to talk to them again. I have been hurt repeatedly in the past by friendships and people ive trusted, so ive just adopted the principle that people cannot hurt me if they do not know me.

And not gonna lie, i do not expect to live long. im nearing the age i thought id die at and im slowly losing faith in the fact that i'll die by then, and i dont know what to do because that belief has been with me for most of my life. My whole life has just been "whats the point if im gonna die soon? why plan for anything?" and now i gotta start planning for shit because life doesnt work like that.

Prince of Time

princes are probably my favorite class, can you tell? the other classpect i thought about would be thief of space, im putting that out there if you think it's more fitting but let's get into prince of time

you say you're a very lonely person and have trouble socializing, the space bound are the designated lonely players—

—Time and Space are opposites, each one across of eachother in the aspect wheel and very different in themselves, when a player falls under a destructive class however they often neglect their own aspect and portray the opposing one ( Dirk being the prince of heart; having trouble expressing emotion, having "mind-control" like powers, destroying heart and soul.. all that. as well as Eridan the prince of hope; having outbursts of rage, destroying all hope within his session, deeming himself "hopeless" )

Time players are also associated with destruction and decay—do with that what you will i thought it should be stated considering your whole outlook on things

aand lastly the age concern, in hindsight it's extremely stupid to take a depressing attitude you have twords living and turn it into a reason for classpecting but that's what you're here for and I deliver. being a Prince of Time somebody who destroys time wouldn't be too uncharacteristic of an assumption to make about someone who doesn't think they have a lot of time left

๑ a prince of time would be extremely dangerous to have in a session and could very easily break the game, anyway, this was the best i could do go hit some clocks bye ๑