#i am a sad trash panda

[harrywavycurly]

Eternal Obsession Part 1: Evening Stroll

Masterlist: here

TW: Slight obsessive behavior

Tag List: @dream-a-little-nightmare @josephquinnsfreckles @chickenandsheep-blog @sweetmoonlove0214 @justheretoreadleavemealone @eddiesgirlforever @ali-r3n @joantje @mrsjellymunson @munsons-mayhem28 @manda-panda-monium @cherrymedicine13

A/N: I am so excited for this mini series! There’s going to only be six parts and you’ll get a new update once a week the last one being on Halloween! I hope y’all enjoy this first look at Vampire Eddie and also in this series it’s modern day and you’ll get more details on when Eddie was turned as the series goes on✨

Eddie lets out a sigh as he zips up his leather jacket before walking down his driveway towards the sidewalk. He might not be able to feel how cold it is outside but he can tell by the orange and brown leaves taking over the ground that there’s a chill in the air and he likes to do what he can to blend in with the people of Hawkins as best he can even if it means wearing a ridiculous jacket that doesn’t do anything for him besides be a source of annoyance. He returns a semi friendly smile to his neighbor Greg who’s putting his trash by the curb, he’s always enjoyed having him as a neighbor because he never actually talks to Eddie but he’s always polite and offers a wave or a smile when he sees him.

Eddie relaxes as he starts on his now routine evening walk around his neighborhood and downtown Hawkins. He likes how peaceful and empty everything is at this time of night, when everyone is getting ready to turn in for the evening. He doesn’t ever have a route in mind for these walks he kinda just goes where he feels drawn to the most and tonight that means he’s turning left at the end of his street, leading him to a dead end at the beginning of the forest that eventually would take him all the way to Lover’s Lake if he kept his path. He raises an eyebrow as he looks around the trees as he takes a few steps into the forest, something isn’t right but he isn’t quite sure what.

“Oh fuck.” His ears twitch a bit as he hears a voice mumble from what sounds to be at least a few hundred feet away from where he’s stood. “That’s just great.” The voice adds with a bit of concern mixed in with what he can only guess is sarcasm. Eddie’s feet lead the way and within a few seconds he’s a mere few feet away from where the voice is coming from.

“Do you need-“ Eddie stops talking the moment you turn around and face him, your eyes lock with his and at that very moment Eddie swears a chill ran up his spine. Eddie notes the way your cheeks get flushed as you break eye contact with him making him smile as he thinks he quite likes the way you look when you blush.

“Do you need some help?” Eddie asks again as he looks around at what appears to be a very sad excuse for a campsite of some sort. “Bit cold for a night in the woods isn’t it?” He asks as he bends down and picks up a lantern that had been knocked over.

“I’m not spending the night out here.” You explain as you turn and watch him turn on the lantern allowing you to see his face for the first time. You have to remind yourself to breathe as Eddie’s eyes find yours as he lightly chuckles before offering you a smile. “I uhm…” you take a calming breath as you look away from him after grabbing the lantern from his hand, mentally taking a note at how cold it was when your fingers brushed with his. “I’m uh..erm..star.. stargazing.” Eddie takes a small step towards you as you struggle to form complete sentences.

Eddie takes this moment to really look at you, he doesn’t know why but he’s overcome with the urge to pull you into his arms and never let you go. He doesn’t know what’s happening as he gets hit with an emotion his hasn’t felt for decades, nervousness. He tilts his head to the side as he watches you struggle to compose yourself and he can’t help the laugh that escapes his lips as you let out a huff and turn so your back is now facing him.

“Stop doing that.” Eddie raises an eyebrow at your request as he takes another step towards you.

“Doing what?” He asks as his curiosity gets the best of him as he reaches his hand out and places it on your shoulder turning you around so he can once again look at your face that’s being illuminated by your lantern.

“Making my mind all mushy.” Eddie carefully reaches his hand that’s on your shoulder up to your face so he’s every so gently caressing your cheek. You flinch at how cold his hand is but you get over it quickly as you find yourself leaning into his touch.

“Mushy?” He questions as you reach up and place your free hand over his that’s still on your face. “I’m afraid I’m going to need you to elaborate on that sweetheart.” He smiles as he hears your heartbeat almost sound like it fluttered as the word sweetheart slipped out of his mouth.

“I know it’s a vampire thing.” You close your eyes as you speak, hoping it’ll help you get control of your thoughts enough to be able to have a normal conversation. “You can make people’s thoughts all cluttered and make them confused and disoriented.” Eddie studies your face as a small wrinkle appears between your brows as you slowly open your eyes and instead of the soft gaze he was expecting he’s met with a hard glare. “It’s rude.” You snap as you drop your hand from top of his making him frown at the slight loss of contact.

“Am I making you disoriented?” He asks as his thumb begins gently rubbing over your cheek bone. Eddie doesn’t know what’s happening as he fights the urge to grab your face with his other hand and pull you into a kiss, he hasn’t had these urges since his human days and he’s confused as to why one look from you has almost sent him back in time as his heart feels like it’s getting closer and closer to actually beating with each second he stares into your eyes.

“Just uhm a little.” You know he can tell you’re lying but you don’t really care as Eddie’s almost dazzling beauty finally hits you when you raise your lantern up allowing his jawline and smooth skin to get hit by the light.

“You’re beautiful.” You’re caught off guard at his compliment making you blush and look down at your boot clad feet. “On second thought.” Eddie’s hand slides from your cheek down to beneath your chin so he can make it to where you’re looking up at him again. “Beautiful isn’t good enough…I don’t think there’s a word that accurately describes how…you look to me.” You feel your hand that’s holding the lantern fall to your side as Eddie’s sweet breath fans across your face making your knees begin to feel weak as he slowly places his other hand on your face so you can’t look away from him.

“Who-” your voice is more like a whisper as your knees finally give out on you causing your lantern to fall to the ground with a soft thud, but before you can even think about hitting the ground Eddie’s arms wrap around your middle holding you up. “Who are you?” Eddie just laughs and shakes his head at how silly he’s been having not introduced himself to you yet.

“Please forgive me I normally have better manners.” You watch him smile as he helps you get steady on your feet again. “I’m Eddie Munson.” His name is one you feel like you’ve heard before making Eddie raise an eyebrow at your confused look.

“The mechanic?” You ask after you quickly introduce yourself making Eddie laugh and nod his head, everyone in this town knows him as just being a mechanic. “You’re friends with Steve Harrington right?” Eddie feels a sense of jealousy overtake him as he rolls his eyes and releases his hold on your waist.

“Friend is a strong word.” Eddie argues as you take a seat on the fold out chair you’d brought so you could sit comfortably and watch the stars. “Just because we are both vampires doesn’t mean we are friends.” He adds as he takes a look around your little set up, he smiles as he finds a notebook sitting on top of a backpack that says “important things” in what he can only assume is your handwriting. His mind begins to wonder what kind of things you deem important enough to be write about in the notebook but before his curiosity could get the best of him he takes a few steps so he’s standing in front of you.

“Don’t you guys sort of stick together?” You ask shyly as you look down at your hands that are in your lap, needing a minute to breathe normally before you look him in the eyes again.

“Some form little gangs.” Eddie chuckles to himself at his use of the word gang, the crowd Steve hung out with is far from a gang. In reality they’re just a bunch of misfits who think they run Hawkins but the embarrassing truth is that Hawkins is just incredibly boring so they don’t have much to do besides annoy the locals any chance they can get.

“But not you?” Eddie bends down so he’s face to face with you while you’re sat in your chair. He places a hand on your knee and you’re not sure why but you find yourself reaching for his hand so you can place your smaller one on top of his.

“No not me.” He answers as you flip his hand so it’s palm up allowing you to interlock your fingers with his. “I like to keep to myself.” You smile when he gives your hand a small squeeze.

“This doesn’t look like you keeping to yourself.” Eddie just shrugs as you look at your hand in his wondering if he’s bothered by how warm your skin is compared to the coldness of his.

“Meeting you has changed me.” You know his words should spark some sort of confusion or at least a slight sense of worry in your mind but yet you find yourself feeling the exact opposite. “You have awoken something inside of me that I thought died a long time ago.” His voice is like velvet as it brings you a sense of warmth that you can’t help but find comfort in.

“I don’t understand.” You mumble making Eddie laugh.

“Isn’t it thrilling? Not knowing?” You feel a gust of wind as Eddie quickly and effortlessly picks you up and places you in his lap as he sits in the chair you were just occupying. “I don’t know what it is about you that has me feeling like this but I’ll figure it out eventually.” You feel his arms snake around your middle pulling you closer to him so your back is flush against his hard chest.

“Feeling like what?” Eddie leans his head down as you speak so his nose is tucked in your hair allowing him to be engulfed in your scent.

“Like death would be easier than being away from you.” Eddie frowns when he feels a shiver run through your body reminding him that unlike him you can feel the chill in the air and his abnormal body temperature isn’t helping.

“You feel that way about me after meeting me not even an hour ago?” Your voice betrays you as it makes you sound like you’re in awe of what Eddie just told you instead of the alarmed tone you meant for it to have.

“Yes? Is it not like that for humans?” He asks as he wraps his jacket around your shoulders allowing there to be extra fabric between your body and his hoping it’ll help warm you up.

“Not exactly.” Eddie’s brows furrow as he begins slowly running his hands up and down your arms.

“There’s love at first sight isn’t there? I distinctively remember learning about that when I was still alive.” You roll your eyes at the idea of love at first sight because there’s no way that’s what happened between the two of you, it has to be more of a vampire thing than just a love thing.

“Well yeah but that’s for humans.” You argue as you get comfortable in Eddie’s lap. Eddie just smiles as you rest your head on his shoulder so you can look up at the sky.

“I was human once.” Eddie whispers in your ear causing your cheeks to get warm at the feeling of his breath on your neck.

“Can I ask you something?” Eddie just hums in response as you all of a sudden become aware of the situation you’ve gotten yourself into.

“I won’t let anything harm you…including myself.” Eddie promises as if he can hear your thoughts but really he can just hear the way your heartbeat began to accelerate and your pulse quickened. “Ever.” He adds in hopes it’ll help you relax and to his surprise and yours you do find his words making you feel at ease.

“How’d you find me?” Your voice is quiet as you look at the stars as Eddie tightens his hold on you ever so slightly.

“I just knew where to go.” He explains because he hasn’t really got a logical answer. “I just went for a walk and wound up here.” You just nod as you place your hands over his that are resting in your lap. “How come you didn’t scream when you saw me? I know vampires aren’t a rare sighting but still you didn’t even try to run.” You feel your face get hot as Eddie asks you a question that you know the answer to is just going to feed into the already oddly intense relationship the two of you have.

“I knew you weren’t going to hurt me.” Eddie smiles as he leans back so he can look up at the sky. “I honestly felt relieved when I first saw you.” You mumble but you know Eddie heard you loud and clear.

“Relieved?” You just nod and Eddie smirks as he looks down at you just to find you’re already looking up at him. “I thought you were feeling…what was the word? Disoriented?” He teases making you roll your eyes.

“That was afterwards.” Eddie takes in every detail of your face so he can think back on it later as you give him a small smile. “But first I felt this sense of relief as if..I’d been waiting for you my whole life I just…didn’t know it until I saw you.” Eddie swears his heart almost leaped out of his chest at your confession, a silly thought since his heart hasn’t been functional in over forty years.

“Well I’m here now.” You watch him lean down so the tip of his nose gently brushed against yours. “And I’m always going to be here.” He smiles before he ever so softly places a quick kiss to your forehead.

“Forever?” Eddie knows your version of forever and his are entirely different so he just smiles as he leans in to place a kiss to your rosy cheek.

“Didn’t you come here to stargaze? I’ve been extremely rude and distracting to you and I apologize.” You can tell he’s changing the subject but you don’t mind as you look away from him and back up at the stars. A wave of exhaustion threatens to take you under into a deep sleep as the realization of the situation hits that you’re sitting in the woods with Eddie Munson, who is a vampire that seems to be in love with you and you don’t really mind because you might possibly feel the same.

[nerdieforpedro]

WIP Wednesday

A special day of the week this is! 😆

No worries I actually have like… 👀 three WIPs on display this week?! Nerdie is…concentrating. 🥹

The first one is from my series “The Lake Between Us” chapter six (chapter five will be out Sunday 😆 on my birthday) I also wrote two interludes because 👀 Reasons - I’m trying to structure all the stuff into chapters 7 & 8 because we’re going to end on 8. I like even numbers. 🤭

Another two months of dinners brought the two of them closer together, learning about each other. Studying their bodies and sounds. There were times they parted, back across the lake, but oftentimes the nightly partners remained intertwined among limbs and sheets. Still having a drink before bed but not nearly as many. They were dulling each other's edges, making it easier to slip into their dreams.

There were occasions when they laid awake, wordless as the radiance of the moonlight draped both of their forms; they did wonder if they were awake or asleep. It felt like such a pleasant notion to have someone who understands by your side.

WIP two: There are two things that @wannab-urs has gotten me into, both involve our trash panda Dieter and both are challenges - I think? One at least is. 🤔 The WIP below is from Gin’s ask challenge from the Hozier song “Fare Well.”

Side note: I meant for the beginning of this to be much more serious. It was not. But we’ll get there. Maybe 🫨 Like I’m working toward something, maybe some crawling if I can fit it in. Because… Gin and I agree on it. We touched and agreed on it. 😌

He’s been more careful about it, not something he’s been concerned about prior to his new leaf. In doing so, acts he’d normally attempt weight more heavily on his mind and keep little Dee from swelling when needed. Bravo knows the rumor that might be going around but it’s not true! Since his mind is clearer, he actually thinks about who he’s having sex with more and little D isn’t always on board. You know, one of those words his therapist mentioned – cognitive dissonance except it’s happening with his partner in pleasure little D. Big D when he’s feeling in the mood.

March Prompts will finish Sunday! 😆 I’m happy and sad, I’ve gotten used to writing one daily, now what am I gonna do? 😑

I am still working on my two Din series. I’m trying to be fluffy. Din deserves fluff from me every so often. 🤭

NPT: @trulybetty @undercoverpena @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @alltheglitterandtheroar @megamindsecretlair @morallyinept @fhatbhabie @rhoorl @mysterious-moonstruck-musings @pedroshotwifey @atinylittlepain @yourcoolauntie @604to647 @secretelephanttattoo @goodwithcheese @joels-darlin @for-a-longlongtime @legendary-pink-dot @magpiepills @kteague @maggiemayhemnj @inept-the-magnificent @gwendibleywrites @alltheotps @exquisiteserotonin

[lesbian-trash-panda]

✨Q Rated: The Rise of Kyoshi

A✨Q - Amazing & Queer, Recommended

Welcome to Lesbian Trash Panda, where I recommend the finest treasures and the best trash a gay raccoon can find. Today’s entry is the first book in the duology about everyone’s favourite Earthbender Avatar - The Rise of Kyoshi!

Summary: If you watched Avatar: The Last Airbender, you’ll be familiar with Kyoshi, the intimidating 300-year-old badass who brought balance to the world two cycles before Avatar Aang.

Kyoshi has a fandom reputation as a merciless killer, but this book — you really see why!

Haha, just kidding, she’s a bisexual simp. The murder is only a side quest.

“The Rise of Kyoshi” follows the longest-lived Avatar from humble beginnings as an orphan to her youth as a servant girl to discovering her gifts, joining a bandit gang, fighting pirates, and taking on some of the most brutal villains in the Avatar universe. Also, she is a huuuuuuuge dork for Rangi, her Firebender bodyguard/friend-who-is-girl/maybe more??? This book is 60% revenge fantasy, 40% pining teenager in love. Kyoshi is part Batman part Sappho and we love her for it

Why you should read it: Did the Batman/Sappho comparison not do it for you? Ok, here’s some more convincing.

Avatar the Last Airbender is one of the best-loved animated shows of all time. It blends the best of eastern and western animation & storytelling conventions to create a universe that is rich in beauty, lore, character, and heart. “The Rise of Kyoshi” adds new historical context and intrigue to the Avatar world while remaining exciting and engaged in its own narrative.

Kyoshi is adorable, and that’s not something you would guess based on appearances in the show. She’s complex and has a lot on her plate and she is frequently put in no-win situations, in a way we’ve never quite seen before in this world. I appreciate when a story is willing to set up a dilemma and follow through on it, instead of pulling a last minute fake-out (cough cough Legend of Korea S1). There are still surprises, but she is forced to make tough decisions and those decisions have consequences.

Rangi is also a great addition to the Avatar universe. Fans of KorraxAsami who were disappointed by how the relationship was censored in the animated show will delighted by how open and honest Kyoshi is about her feelings for Rangi, and I love her for it. I am impressed by the complexity of queer relationships in the Avatar universe - the Legend of Korea tie-in comic Turf Wars gave a brief history lesson on how the four nations feel about it traditionally, and it’s clear the creators put thought and attention into the development of that element of this universe. I am glad they get to explore this part of their world more here, in an avenue where they didn’t have to bind themselves according to homophobic advertising standards.

The book is also funny. It has that classic Avatar humour with some added, “Oh, Kyoshi, you gay sad sack!” Lots of fun characters, exciting moments, and surprising depth.

I just finished reading it to my partner and she loved it. Hopefully you will too! Get it at your local library or buy it, I dunno.

Content Warnings: Surprisingly grim violence, including war crimes - more so than the animated series; for teen readers

Recommended for: Fans of Avatar the Last Airbender and Legend of Korra, fans of historical fantasy, people who wish Bruce Wayne was a gangly teenage girl and Alfred was a badass teenage girl

[oonajaeadira]

For the Love of Fic: Nov. 1

Opened and closed a show last weekend, so I didn’t do a lot of reading. But this week? Look out! It’s coming a little later in the week only because I wanted to close out as much -tober fic as I could. I’ve still got some catching up to do, but here’s a start!

Here’s what I’ve been loving the last couple of weeks!

DIETER BRAVO

Intercrural Sex by @jazzelsaur I mean, can there be anything better than getting picked up from the airport by Dieter and then railed all night by Dieter and then getting high and more railing with Dieter and having soft admissions of missing each other with Dieter? Come ON, Jazz. You’re murdering me here.

Morning, Afternoon, Evening by @write-and-buried Three fics, one arc, porn star reader meets porn star Dieter for a session. Morning starts off slow and hot. And then Afternoon came and bated me with porn and then set the hook with soft, growing feels and I need to breathe. By the time Evening rolled around, I was completely in love, my heart even more engaged than my horniness, and I have fallen hard and fast for a yearning trash panda porn star and I don’t care who knows. (Special extra bonus to Exhibition, a drabble set after the events of this series, just as sweet and definitely as spicy.)

Nothing Lasts Forever: Part 3/Finale: “Nothing Lasts Forever” by @blueeyesatnight This isn’t your happy romance series. It’s a rite of passage, a coming of age and into one’s own, an ingenue learning the ropes and getting a callus from them. It’s not a happy ending, not a sad one, just one that feels true.

And the Oscar Goes To... by @mishasminion360 This is just so so so adorable and even though I’m pretty sure his agent would kill him for this, I don’t fkn care because this is Dieter at his silly, impulsive best and I love him.

.

JAVI GUTIERREZ

Pegging by @jazzelsaur I am not completely a pegging girl, and I can’t say what actually leads me to read a pegging fic...but I may have found that formula here. There’s so much trust involved, so much of Javi being a little shy about his curiosity and how much he wants this, the beautiful preparation, the acceptance and love. He was just so sated and happy at the end...all I could do is thank Jazz for taking such good care of him.

Formula 101 - Prologue Part 3: November by @littlemisspascal I love how Rae’s rounded out the first arc of her F1 story, the beautiful, shining hope of the future, the strong trio friendship, the way paved for Odball’s coming team up with Javi... I’ve been watching Rae fangirl about F1 all over her blog and I love to see her put her heart in her writing. I’m excited to see what the new racing season will bring....

Kinktober 2022 by @chaoticgeminate Watching Javi and his love go through a month of kinks on a bonding vacation was one of the best gifts I gave myself this month. Through everything, these two illustrate a healthy relationship and the communication and trust that makes a loving relationship sweet and spicy.

.

PERO TOVAR

Body Worship by @clydesducktape At just under 400 words, this one wins the prize for making me yearn and want and clutch at my chest and keen and have to get up and go touch some ice cream

.

MAX PHILLIPS

I Cannot Get You Close Enough by @leslie-lyman  It’s Max *pant pant* and he ... he  *swallowing, catching breath* alpha... vampire alpha, and he *gasping for air* taking care of his...omega... oh my gods *clutching the furniture* I’m gonna die...I’m dying....I can’t...somebody...my heart...my puth...holy FUCK...

.

DIN DJARIN

The Bunkbed Chronicles by @lowlights Three short ficlets (so far) that take place in and around the bunk beds you share with Din. It’s silly and touching and sweet, and just my jam.

.

FRANKIE MORALES

Lucy’s Closet by @grogusmum Frankie would be a good dad to any kid, but there’s just something about the way he’ll do anything for his little girl. Even check her closet for monsters. I love it when Hazel writes Frankie...he’s always so patient and attentive...

.

JACK DANIELS

Howdy Pumpkin by @magpie-to-the-morning and @radiowallet I haven’t laughed this hard out loud at a fic in a while; Emma and Cat get the prize for the best reveal and laughter during the do and I want to kiss their faces for it. This was so very Jack and just made me very happy.

.

JAVIER PEÑA

For You by @ezrasbirdie If you love Javier, make an appointment on your birfday calendar and put a link to this fic on it, because you’re not celebrating alone or unloved....

.

[courtneysmovieblog]

“Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 3″ hits all the right notes

My relationship with the MCU may complicated right now, but that doesn’t extend to the Guardians of the Galaxy.

The holiday special was probably the best thing that was in Phase 4. It was such a breath of fresh air among all the multiverse-messing character assignations. And Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 3 proves that only James Gunn could have ended the series on the high note it deserved.

While the Guardians have somewhat settled on Knowhere, the gang is still in disarray. Peter Quill (Chris Pratt) is drinking away his grief over Gamora while the Gamora variant we met in Endgame (Zoe Saldana) has joined with the Ravagers. Groot (Vin Diesel) has bulked up, Kraglin (Sean Gunn) is having trouble mastering Yondu’s arrow, Nebula (Karen Gillan) and Mantis (Pom Klementieff) fight a lot, and Drax (Dave Bautista) is still...Drax.

Where does this leave Rocket (Bradley Cooper)? His past comes back to haunt him when Knowhere is attacked by Adam Warlock (Will Poulter) and unintentionally triggers a hidden kill-switch inside Rocket’s body. To save their friend, the Guardians have to come together once more to face Rocket’s creator, the High Evolutionary (Chukwudi Iwuji), a high-ranking scientist that is bent on recreating life in the universe to his liking--so yeah, a lot like Thanos.

This movie was what Avengers Endgame COULD have been if the Russos had been more focused on character development than easter eggs and lazy fan service. We finally get Rocket’s backstory, and it is heartbreaking. As you probably have already heard, animal torture is involved, so be warned. Cooper was already great as Rocket, but this is the movie where he gets to do the very most with his foul-mouthed little trash panda.

What’s especially commendable is how it managed to tie up the loose end Endgame left with “Past” Gamora. There is no lazy “Endgame Steve” solution here, thank God. The Gamora the Guardians loved is gone, and this Gamora is very much a different person on her own path. Peter can’t recreate their romance, no matter how much he wants to. And even though it’s sad, that’s the way it should be. It would be a disservice to BOTH Gamoras if Peter replaced her so easily.

Unlike Endgame and many other MCU movies lately, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 3 gives each of its characters the satisfying ending that they deserve. But I sure am going to miss those bunch of a-holes.

9 out of 10

[agirlneedsgoals]

State of the Me: Boo Hoo Sad Panda Edition

Hi. I still haven't been around, sorry. I'mma cut this so people can scroll past. 😘

I'm still in Sad Panda Land, hence the not being around. It's just getting worse in a lot of ways. I'm isolating even more. I've dropped email entirely (Google says my account's almost full; that's a lot of emails). I'm starting to wobble on Instagram. Idk, I'm not great at social media anyway. I post but I can't keep up with so many people. Friends I was in regular contact with a year ago are occasional texts now.

My anxiety has been off the charts in fun and interesting ways. I've been biting my hands, wrists, and forearms when I'm distracted. I wouldn't call it self harm but I've fucked them up pretty bad. Only drawn blood once...on my wrist...next to a vein...right over a tendon....because I'm stupid occasionally, fuck. But it looks like I've been both mauled and burned. Why burned? Idk, I'd like to know that, too. My skin is reacting weirdly.

I have a ton more chewlry than I used to but it's not the same and I don't even notice when I'm doing it so it's hard to switch to the chew toys. Also, I chew A LOT more with the chewlry in my mouth. And HARDER. Like aggressively hard. It was starting to hurt my jaw and teeth. And I keep taking bites out of them and killing them.

I realized the other day that this biting thing started LAST SUMMER. And other anxiety things (pulling my hair (not out, just yanking on it), drinking angry water/soda excessively, making my room even darker and more enclosed than normal and refusing to leave it, refusing to leave the house for weeks at a time, weird rhythmic movements) had started BEFORE that, so no wonder I couldn't figure out a trigger.

Everything is worse. I'm sadder, I'm sicker. I feel trapped and like I'm giving up even though there's a part of me that's screaming for me to do something.

Not to say I'm dying or anything. No I'll just be this hollow shell person for years and years and years.

I'm reading an insane amount but it's all brain candy trash romance novels. I'm learning a lot about the different subgenres. I'm intending to write one but my writing has also stopped for the moment. All the ideas, but no work on them. At least I'm still having ideas? 🎉

I'm TRYING. I just feel...trapped. Stuck in some sticky goo like a roach in a roach motel. I keep asking for help (figuratively and literally) but what are people supposed to do, really?

I'm not sure I'm medicated well anymore. My original goal with medication was to control my anger and we've done that. But I'm so sad and so anxious and so frozen all the time. I don't have Executive Dysfunction, I AM Executive Dysfunction.

Maybe I need a new therapist. I love Theresa but even when I manage to say something real, I feel like she doesn't understand the implications.

I don't knowwwww. Everything is hard. Everything feels insurmountable. I feel like I'll spend the rest of my life in my little cocoon, escaping into books while I wither away. I'm having stretches of apathy that are scary blank. I don't want to stop caring. I can't stop caring.

Hand staple forehead. Such spectacle, very drama.

[pbandjesse]

I went back and read a few posts from 2020 because Jess had a question about something. And I was so depressed during that time. It wasn't even that I was saying I was sad but the way I was writing you could just feel it. There was no emotion behind it at all. Made me very sad.

But today was a good day and I hope that I can share that with you. I slept all right last night. And I woke up after James had left for work. I was pretty cold. But I got up and I felt all right.

I got dressed and made the bed and decided I would clean right away. A vacuumed and I swiffer day and I wiped down some surfaces. I sprayed down the bathroom. I didn't do everything but I didn't want I felt good about it.

That took about an hour and after I did that I made a bagel and I watch some videos on my phone for a bit. Then I would work in the bedroom on cleaning up some clothes and pulling out some stuff from storage. Then I decided I wanted to put all the faces on the bears that I sold yesterday. A few of the big ones are very strangely shaped. Their heads are very wrong. But that's okay.

I was having a nice time. I shook the rugs outside and I decided I would start playing around with packing for a honeymoon.

It's not fun doing actually pack and believe it that way. But I like practicing packing and I think it's fun. So I got my list out and I started pulling everything out the closet and the other places I had stuff.

I didn't get everything out. I didn't get like all the medications and things like that. But I started with the clothes and some other stuff that. And kind of figured out how much space they would each take up in the bags. And I got a little overwhelmed at one point but overall I was having a very good time and I think I have a good handle on what needs to go in what bag at least. And how much space things are going to take up in the long run.

One of the biggest things I found out is that my blanket scarf does not fit in my panda duffel bag. And that the best course of action is to put all of my socks in underwear in it but then I have lots of space in my suitcase. So that was very nice to figure out early on.

Once I put everything away I had a snack and started doing some research on the previous metal clay I have some gift card money out aside for. I was getting a little overwhelmed by choices and so I went to get the laptop to look at everything on a larger screen. And then the laptop wasn't working and I was getting more and more frustrated and just not having a good time.

I texted James to tell them and they tried to help but weren't understanding the issue at first. But then they did and they helped do the research from their end and helped answer my questions and I think I know what I'll get now. I'm excited to try a new thing in the new year.

James asked me to go get plain yogurt for naan for dinner. So I put tights on and walked to the store. I had some nice music to listen to and it was good to get outside for a few minutes. It was a nice day. I am lucky I can walk to a grocery store even if it's a shitty one. I would get yogurt and a rice pudding and frozen french fries. And then I went home.

James would get home while I was chilling in bed with Sweetp. They brought me a package of slipper socks, which are a late Christmas gift. I love them. Haven't taken them off since they gave them to me..

Then James went to make us really nice Indian food for dinner. We used the jasmine rice this time and it didn't taste like dishwater and I enjoyed the entire meal a lot better.

We ate in the livingroom and watched a video. And soon James was getting on their call to record their podcast. I went to the studio to work on stuffing the bears from earlier. I also started making a bead tiara because I saw someone on TikTok do it and I thought it would be fun and it was. I need a new thick type hot glue gun though because the two I have are trash. But whatever. It was still a good time.

I got in bed after that because I was chilly.

I have been texting with Jess because one of her chickens are molting and is getting hurt by the others so now she's not sure she's going to come visit tomorrow. Which is understandable. I don't want us to get in a weird spot like we have before but I am working every Saturday until my birthday and I have gotten my feelings hurt when she didn't understand that. Like especially now that she makes way better money then me, I can't take off. I don't get vacation days. I can make my schedule work for me and the trips I want to take but if I schedule work days they stay like that. I have to make money however I can. But thankfully she understands, I think, and she's going to come on a Saturday afternoon after I'm done work or just wait until my birthday and come for the whole weekend. Maybe both. Who knows. I hope her chicken is okay.

I just got a very weird message on Instagram that I think is probably part of a scam. They don't have any posts but want to collaborate with me on a mural by using one of my photos and they would pay me? And I said what post/photo exactly are we talking about. And they were like great excited to work with you! It's actually a 50x50 oil painting. And I'm like. That is not a mural. And because I felt like it was sketch I said no thank you. And they were like. What? What are you saying?? And I'm just like. I am not interested in a collaboration. We'll see if they say anything else but it gave me weird vibes.

Now I am going to go take a shower. James just finished reading a book. I feel cozy and happy.

I hope I feel good tomorrow too. I hope to do more organizing maybe. And bake some cookies, as James made me dough last night. I hope it's a good day. I hope you all sleep good and stay safe tomorrow. Goodnight everyone!!

[blue-velvet-valentina]

I'm getting tired of people saying I am "boho" with my design of my trailer. "Oh you're look is sooo Boho...

" I AM NOT BOHO! I AM A TRASH PANDA GOBLIN WHO LIKES SCRAGGLY SAD BOYS AND THE 60s, 70s, & EARLY 80s DESIGN!

Let me live the way I want to: like my God father who was a trash goblin too with many chickens.

[nerdieforpedro]

Weekend Update

12/03/2023

Nerdie, you’re making this a thing now?

Yes! I have to keep ya’ll updated on what’s going on.

Well, what did you read this week?

Many wonderful things:

I will again sing the praises of @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin three part series “When My Time Comes Around.” You’ll feel all the emotions and be thankful that you read something that touches you deep in your soul. 😭 She also attacked my heart again on Frankie Friday with bittersweet angst in Tender is the Night. I'm a fan of the melancholic greatness that is Angie.

So...you like reading about sad things?

There's more to it than that. Just go read her fics! Then you'll know.

Tommy Miller fans unite! @musings-of-a-rose is continuing to feed our younger Miller brother delusions with her series “Falling Slowly.” The slow burn romance is one of the trope I really dig. And Gabriel Luna always. 🫠 Dig into some Tommy…

Nerdie, you’re doing so well, don’t jinx it.

I mean, I'm not wrong. Whatever, moving on...

I also read Honey Stained Hands by the sweet and deceptively naughty @undercoverpena too. Seems to be a Joel fix this week. Post-outbreak. The reader manages to make honey and different sweets in Jackson. Telling ya’ll anymore is a spoiler. Go read it!

There’s also another grizzled man this week. Tim Rockford who in the capable hands of the same writer @secretelephanttattoo who brought us Marcus Pike (Doughnut Debauchery) and the reason I’ll never look at doughnuts the same, I’m sure she’ll find many a use for his gun holsters. She began her new series “Undercover.” I’m throughly looking forward diving into more of the chapters as she releases them.

@linzels-blog wrote another Din Djarin fic that is equal parts sensual and sweet. It’s called Safe to Touch. I’m rather fond of our intrepid Mendalorian and him exploring his body with someone he loves is a treat.

Speaking of which, who doesn’t like baked goods? We’re also being fed by @avastrasposts as she starts her A Baker’s Dozen series with Pedro Pascal characters. Her first one is about our favorite trash cuddle panda Dieter Bravo. It’s adorable. 🥰 Such fluff.

Nerdie, you actually read fluff? This is surprising.

What do ya’ll take me for? I told you, 80% smut. This is in the 20%. Geez. 🙄

I will say though, this next one, 100% smut, not watered down, will burn your throat and you’ll love it and want more. You’ll want it other places. 😘

Welp, we knew it was gonna end here eventually.

Yes! @morallyinept had me removing my socks and pants in an effort to cool down, it did not help. I will think of this version of Dieter Bravo when I’m out at night. Heck, maybe as I walk across the parking lot to get in my car after a shift. That honestly would be the perfect time… long story short, wild back alley sex with both Dieter and the reader being complete and utter lust filled humans. It is called, Back Alley Bang if you enjoy Pedro Pascal characters smut, it’s required reading or at least highly recommended.

Anything new for you this week Nerdie?

Session Two of my “Sard’ika Sessions” will be out on early Wednesday AM in EST. Session One and all sessions will be linked to the Sard’ika Sessions Masterlist. I’m currently writing sessions 3 and 4 from my notebook because I wrote them down. Wild what you think of between the hours of 12 mid and 4am.

I finally started writing for our Pickled Peña prompt! I might even have it in on time. If you’d like to join in, see all the details here. I’m on the fence about smut, odd I know. 🤨

I also started a Benny Miller fic (likely fluff with food) and a Christmas fic with Joel and Layla (on OFC I wrote three fics on a few months ago - I love them very much ❤️). Joel and Layla are on my Masterlist.

Anything outside of fanfiction Nerdie? Please say that’s not the only thing you do. 🙄

I have a job you know. I actually worked this weekend. I visited my mom while she had a cold earlier this week. She’s very into Tom Hiddleston. Not a bad choice, I too appreciate his accent and baritone voice. She enjoys his dancing. 🕺🏽 I’d watching Loki with her and finally got her to watch Andor - she liked it but called it “low budget Star Wars” because she didn’t know any of the actors. I swear she’s so goofy. I love her. She also said that Andor grew on her like The Mandalorian and she wants to see more. I may be able to get her on board with both Lunas eventually. 😝

I’ve been working on my Statistics class. It’s difficult but I’m pushing through. 😵

Finally watched two Garrett Hedland movies this week! Country Strong and Four Brothers. The first was bittersweet but I liked it. He did sing a lot which was wonderful. The second one I’ve seen multiple times with little brother (he loved the movie when we were younger.) Garrett looked so young! It was from 2005 though.

Well Nerdie, your week sounds full. Good luck!

Have a great week everyone!

I jammed to while some music while looking at a picture of Gabriel Luna that @musings-of-a-rose sent me because she knows me well and is always willing to share: 😍

One of the songs was:

Stay safe and feel better to all those who are feeling under the weather,

Love Nerdie ❤️

[cavalryofwoah]

New Year's Resolution Check-in: Working with the Disabled Trash Panda I Am, Not the Homemaker Ideal I Am Not.

Steps taken to solve problems:

Identify life problems that make me unhappy (mostly household chaos)

List all the steps it takes to regularly do the tasks required to fix that problem. Really break it down into small, simple steps.

List all barriers between doing that and not doing that. EVERY small thing counts as a barrier in this case. Do you never have clean laundry? What makes laundry hard? For me that was:

It's hard to carry my laundry to the machine.

My back is fucked up and lifting the heavy laundry detergent is very painful.

I'm short so reaching into the wash to pull out wet clothes requires a stepstool and sadness.

Repeatedly bending to put stuff in the dryer hurts.

Putting away the clean laundry means getting the laundry basket back to my room.

Trying to sort and fold things to organize is Not Me.

With my ADHD I apparently have limited object permanence, in the sense that if I cannot very easily see the article of clothing I don't remember it exists and then I accidentally never wear it for a year so honestly what's the point? (The same thing happens with food at the back of the fridge)

Ways I made laundry easier for Trash Pandas:

Laundry basket hard to carry -> got a laundry basket with wheels

Detergent too heavy to lift -> got a tilted stand for the detergent bottle that is put on a counter near the washer, so it's at reaching height and never has to be lifted

Reaching down into washer hard -> washer broke, so when I replaced it, I got a taller side-loader, which doesn't require doing that. I wouldn't have done this if the first one hadn't broken though

Dryer bending painful -> it's easier if I tilt my laundry basket sideways and bring it down to the floor with me so I can stay crouching and not go up and down multiple times

Folding laundry is impossible -> stop folding and hanging the laundry. Just identify the clothing item, ball it back up, and stuff it in the same area as similar stuff

Forget out of sight clothes exist -> eliminate drawers that have to be pulled out, get rid of all hangers except for absolutely necessary Fancy Clothes ones, stop using shelves you can't reach or see easily, and get rid of anything that requires multiple steps to see the clothes. Embrace open shelves where everything is visible.

Not enough shelves -> Get the hanging kind of open faced storage cubbies to add to your closet or door, and keep clothes in the open shelves by category. I got a pants hanger for my work slacks so I don't have to fold and stack them, I just kinda drape them on the sticks. No folding and no wrinkles

No matching socks -> get new socks, ALL THE SAME STYLE, 2-3 colors of the same ones. Keep a few fun socks and throw out the rest of your old ones. Be honest. They have holes in them. The donation places don't want them.

Get laundry garment bags and put one where you usually take your socks off (not where socks belong, but where they actually come off). All socks go directly from feet to garment bag, zip garment bag closed and wash them in that. Then put a new bag out and live with one bag of clean socks and one bag of dirty socks.

Socks only go from clean bag to feet to dirty bag, which then becomes the new clean bag on laundry day. Socks can't get lost in the laundry if they're always in Sock Bag Containment, and you can just reach in to find a matched pair quickly because they're all the same style, so they all match in Sock Feel and color is limited.

Relish in how put-together you feel while always having clean matched socks. Instant mood boost for me tbh.

These are just the laundry changes I made to accommodate Disabled Trash Panda Reality. I still don't always have perfectly clean put-away clothes, but I can do it a lot more often, and I can always find matching socks. So life is going better in several aspects.

I consider this very vague New Year's Resolution a success!

[hellfirexhoe]

1,7,12 and 20 for the deep fic writer asks

what's the fic youre most proud of?

Death of Me, no questions asked, I'm obsessed!

7. how does receiving or not receiving feedback/support impact you?

Receiving feedback is wonderful, and often hilarious, I'm just out here trying to make you horny and make you laugh! Lack of support? Never heard of her, my moots are wonderful and never let a gal go starved for attention 😉 (but empty likes do make me a little sad sometimes like when the reblog to like ratio is crazy)

12. What’s your perfect environment to create/write?

Honestly, I prefer to sit cosy in bed on my laptop, candle lit on my bedside table with some music to set the vibes. However I am also a trash panda who will use the google docs app standing in the kitchen shoving bread into my face while writing the filthiest smut I can handle.

20. What’s the greatest gift you’ve gotten from your writing?

Would it be weird to say my moots? They are the sweetest little gremlins 💕💕💕

Deep Fic Writer Asks

[tsuki-sennin]

Heyooooo

I uh... Didn't mean for this to be so late, but I've been having a really shitty couple weeks, so uh... oops.

Anyways, Geats! I'm ready for Round 2!

-The fox!

-"I literally almost died, neesan!"

-"Yeah whatever you say bro lmao"

-Ace-sama!

-Everybody loves Ace-sama!

-...did he use his Desire for this hgjkl

-Oh hey, Miss Tsumuri.

-"I am so fucking awesome. ...and yet..."

-What kinda limit would exist for something like this?

-Desire Driver!

-ID Core!

-Tanuki Boi!

-I see Toei's green screen has improved.

-Up to you determine which way I mean that.

-Oooooooh, Trust Last! I've heard this a few times, and this absolutely slaps.

-Bomb for the win!

-God, this sponsor screen is

-Sad

-Jamato! Those freaky plant mushroom people!

-This is a truly twisted game you're making us play, Tsumuri.

-How many people do you reckon not get brought back? Or how many do you think still feel some form of residual trauma and not realize why?

-Moreover, how did the people running the game decide that this is the best way to go about it?

-Desire God power.

-Oh fuck, putting them on the spot like that?

-Where we droppin' boys?

-The Desire Grand Prix. A treasure hunt!

-...did they like... give those loot boxes to them?

-Oh, Neon has no friends... how tragic.

-Daaaaamn, Ace got kicks.

-Armed Water!

-Ready!

-Fight!

-Oh wow, not even gonna give us water pressure, huh game?

-Then again, a BONK is just as good a strategy as any.

-Guess it's nice that there're more people are willing to help each other out than not so far.

-...how long will that last, I wonder?

-You did it, Keiwa! You survived your first encounter~!

-Don't you dare think you're safe for a moment though~!

-"Ohhhhhhh, you're that nice kid I rejected!"

-World Peace, eh, buddy?

-Awww.... this must be the Dad Rider I've heard so much about.

-"Hey hey, congrats! You did it!"

-Well fuck, man, now I'm wondering how the hell we have all this swanky stuff.

-I will follow your career with great interest, Neon-san.

-"Haha, woooow, you're all

-Buffa! Asanaga,right? Er... Michima? No, no, Azuma Michinaga!

-Tycoon and Nago!

-Background characters hjkl

-Free time, he says.

-Faucet and Shield!

-"Trash!"

-"...trash? :("

-No fighting, no cheating.

-Holy shit, these go by so quick.

-"Those who survive!"

-Oh yeah, Keiwa saw that

-"Not if you're a Kamen Rider."

-So, poor Shirowe from last episode is absolutely dead.

-Rest in peace, Kyoryu Blue.

-Oh god, is she another rider fan.

-Oh hey, the Jamato have their own language! Like the Gurongi and the Femushinmu!

-Pretty neat.

-I see Mary and Nago are a fine dynamic duo.

-Armed Arrow is absolutely cursed now.

-Panda Magnum.

-And I get

-A panda sniper... perhaps a call back to the Scouting Panda Raider from Zero-One? That would make sense considering Takahashi...

-"Oh fuck I could actually die here."

-Ginpen's family!

-C'mon Keiwa! Get your butt in gear!

-For a tanuki you seem to lack any balls!

-Nooooo, Taira-san!

-So, if the ID Core is smashed, that's it. Game over.

-Y'know, for as suspicious as Tsumuri is, she genuinely seems kinda broken up about Ginpen.

-"I fight for the children. For their futures."

-If you don't fight, you can't make your dreams come true.

-Change the world.

-"Hey so, can I borrow that? All those orphans and poor people I'm fighting for kinda need it."

-Boost Armed Water looks so sick.

-I think I get it now. Armed Water and these other low tier items are pretty sorry on their own, but using it in conjunction with the

-Daaaaaamn, that's a strong finisher.

-"Good job, idiot! Thanks, dummy!"

-"You lied?! You can't just do that, I trusted you!"

-Ahhhh, little Boost is a fickle sort.

-No chance at bringing them back, huh?

-Ohhhhh, Ace.

-You may be a lying son of a bitch, but... you're still a Kamen Rider at the end of the day, huh?

-Some exceptions, huh?

-Zombie Survival!

-Zombie for Zombie!

-Part of me wonders... how do the administrators of the game pick out Riders?

-What manner of bizarre criteria have to be fulfilled to be chosen? Is there even an age limit? I mean, Da-Paan's a high schooler, right?

-If you hadn't noticed, Ace's coin is a Roman denarius with a relief of Julius Caesar. Considering Caesar's own strategic track record and claims of divinity, this fits very well with his character.

-Right, so! I'm quite excited to jump into the next round. Here's hoping we both make it through to the end, huh?

[aquariusshadow]

Live!Blogging Legacies s4x11

i am bed and hizzie trash

that is all

lesss gooo

--

yea i was never a carnival person myself

my hometown never really did this shit anyways

however im not sure i'd actively seek one out

and this creepy shit is exactly why

BED

MY BBIES

"just stick with me" hehehe

whipped

hello finch

how u doin

oh god its a truth thing

awwwwww look at hizzie's first date

at a carnival of all places

how fittignsdgasdlfja

"we're here young padawan"

its like theyre speaking the same language

sdljaflhdfhlajfhLFHLkjhfljhfalsdjf

"SWEETIE SIRE"

GUYS

.......even hope figures out heretic!lizzie's weakpoints

yaaaaaaaaaaaay mg kaleb reunion!!!

look at mg trying to go back to ethan ahahaha

man i missed maleb friendship

ahahaha all i see are hizzie flirting with each other

wow

aurora

what a surprise

jhjhladfhsdf

"you want me to win you a panda"

"cute! but no"

we're being fed gdi

jed honey

u okay

plz dont close ben off

adfhsljdkafhsdjfkdf

noooooooo

"we can't out ethan to his family" -MG

yall the writers know what theyre doing

mg trying to be alaric

maya

MAYA

MAYA

THEY BROUGHT HER BACK?!?!!?

ahaha i love aurora's fake bow

hope: *kills partnership*

lizzie: *looks sad/frustrated*

METHAN REUNION

finally

"vampsplained by colonel sanders" lmfao

really hope? lizzie aint your friend? then what is she?!

yea finch you tell him

oh gdi aurora

stay from from ben plz

man all it took was one whisper from lizzie saying hope's name

for her to just come back and save her

aight ok its happening

methan convo

"as soon as i learned that supernaturals were real, all i wanted was to be as cool as you"

ethan gets close to mg

"where ever there's love, there's grace"

"I'll be your family until they do"

hizzie the crime fighting duo

au of this when??

............

did

we're doing this

THEY WENT THERE

I THINK

CMON

DONT PLAY WITH ME LEGACIES

HLJHGLKAJKFLSD

YES YOU DO BBY

YES YOU LIKE HIM

HEHEEHEHEHEH

WOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY

IM SO HAPPY AHAHAHA

kaleb why did you hesitate with the bro fist

you are comin back right?

i still cant believe we brought maya back for this episode

haljhljdfkhfdljakfhlsd

lizzie

she just

asked

to not

for hope to not

get rid of the sire bond

good. god.

they're killing me

this show is killing me

before i forget

finch/cleo friendship rights

--

You give me shippy content imma hyperfixate on the shippy content

[ophie-writes]

Gifted-Pt.2 Jason Dean x Reader (Fluff)

OK, y'all! this is coming out a little later than I intended, but I've been busy aghhhhh! This chapter is just pure fluff, and I spent so much time thinking abt cute shit it's clogging my brain. Thank you so much for all the positive feedback after pt. 1! It gave me a lot ore faith in my writing as a whole, and it gave me the motivation to write a longer chapter like this one. Gotta go watch something sad, angry, or horny to balance this out. love y'all!

Warnings: brief insinuation of murder, tons of making out, breaking and entering. Otherwise, full fluff!!! nothing to see here, folks.

Words: 2.5k

You come back from the snack shack with two breakfast sandwiches, a large coke slushie to split between the two of you, and a bag of various snack foods. Your parents weren’t home that weekend, but they’d left you with a good amount of money when you’d mentioned it was J.D.'s birthday that Sunday. You’d expected your boyfriend to still be upstairs, but when you walked back into the house, kicking the door shut behind you and heading to the kitchen, there he was, practically pressed against the screen door that led to a little garden area, clearly focusing hard on something.

“Birthday food’s here!” you said with a smile, placing the plastic bag on the table. “Whatcha lookin’ at, babes? You approached J.D. at the screen door, wrapping your arms around his waist.

“Y/N, look.” J.D. pointed at the strawberry patch that was growing in your yard. Looking closer, you saw what he was talking about. A mama raccoon and her four kits muching on barely ripe strawberries out of their little paws.

“Trash pandas!” you gasp, eyes wide. You didn’t usually see them in the daytime, but you had definitely found your trash bins knocked over on more than one occasion. “What if I just went out and—”

“You really wanna do something for my birthday? Maybe don’t go getting rabies, love. I’m not about to let my partner go picking up rat-cats.” J.D. took your hands that were clasped around his waist, and interlaced them with his.

“But look at the babies!” you whisper. It was then that he spun you around in a tangled mess of arms until you were in front of him facing the screen, back to chest, leaving you open for maximum neck kiss-ability. Something your boy gladly took advantage of before responding. “I am.” you could feel his smile on your neck, that and the comment made you giggle. You raised your linked hands to your lips, and gave a kiss to the back of his hand.

“Food?”

“Food.” he nodded, and you slipped back under his arm, and took out two little sandwich boxes with your drink.

“Morning slushie? You spoil me, Y/N” J.D. remarked, taking a sip.

“Also stocked up on more than enough caffeine for a movie night, and plenty of cuddles. We’ll probably be coming home a bit late from what I have planned.”

“And that is?”

“You’ll see.” you shot him a look, and he raised his hands as if to surrender, and let out a half sigh that ended up a laugh.

“A lot of the real good stuff I have saved for later tonight, but for now, we have a while to do whatever you want, and I’ll let you bike us there.”

“You know I’m not great at picking places to go. That’s all you, my love.”

“Had a feeling you’d say that. I’m sure that if I hadn’t already been to the shack, that’s where you’d take us.” you poked his chest, and he clutched his hand to where you’d poked, acting as if he’d been stabbed.

“God, Y/N, that was quite the callout. I’m gonna need some time to recover.” you finished your sandwiches, threw on some slightly nicer clothes, grabbed a bag by the door, and left the house.

“First stop’s walking distance, so we’re good on the bike for now. Might wanna leave the coat back home though.” J.D. hummed in response before his hand found yours, and you made your way to a small trail near the house. Seeing him out in the open without the coat was a bit jarring. He’d really only taken it off when you were both alone. He’d even keep it on at home most of the time. Not that there were any people around you right now, but the tall grass you were trudging through was home to quite a bit of bugs, and you didn’t want to risk the stray tick or two.

Once you had made it through a dry creek and up a hill, you’d reached a clearing canopied by scraggly trees. Somewhere you’d been with J.D. quite a few nights after a bottle or two of beer. You’d lived in Sherwood all your life, but you’re sure J.D. hadn't been there in the daytime.

“Is this?–” He started. Pointing to the field down the hill.

“Yep! Definitely been here before.” You gave him a peck on the cheek, walked down, and found a spot to sit. Your boyfriend’s hand was still locked tight in yours, as you both watched the cows in the small enclosed pasture in front of you. “Still pretty early, so I figured I’d give you some of your stuff, and get that out of the way.”

“That what's in the bag?” J.D. raised his eyebrows, and fought back a smile.

“What do you think, doofus?” you let go of his hand to open up the bag.

“You didn’t have to–” you pressed your whole hand against his mouth, smiling wide.

“Agh! Babe!” You yanked away your hand the second his tongue shot out at your palm. Wiping it off on your pants as you both laughed. The first few things you pulled out of the bag were pretty standard birthday stuff. A couple new button downs, and a rad earring set. After some convincing, he’d gotten his other ear pierced a few months back, and you took the chance to buy him some black studs. The next gift you’d had to have saved up a bit for. Out of the bag, you pulled a pair of new Dr. Marten boots. J.D.’s eyes widened, and his jaw dropped.

“You’re always saying you could use new boots, so I figured I’d save up a bit, and get you the same model Docs as me!” They were black Jadons. Not too much height, and you had the same in cherry red.

“Y/N! You didn’t have to get me anything, much less new fuckin’ boots! That’s crazy expensive, babe! How the hell did you afford that?”

“Odd jobs, mostly. Don’t worry about that! I wanted to make sure I got you more than enough to make up for last year, my love.” you still feel bad about letting his birthday slip past you last year. He had asked if you were doing anything that day, and you had already made plans with Veronica and Heather Mc to go roller skating, so you promised you’d see him that night. When you got to his house, and made your way to his room, you caught a glimpse of an absurd amount of money on his desk.

“Birthday money from my dad.” J.D. said with a shrug. It was so nonchalant that you hardly processed the sentence.

“Don’t think you’ve ever told me your birthday. When is that, again?”

“Just passed.”

“Oh shit! When?” you panicked. You’d been with J.D. for a couple months by that point, so you couldn’t have missed it.

“Today.”

“Jason!” J.D. looked at you like he didn’t get why you were so shocked. It didn’t seem like a big deal to him, but the fact that he didn’t care was what made you feel bad. Now he has someone who has the capacity to care for small things like birthdays, and gifts. You felt awful. And to make matters worse, you hadn’t seen him until the day was up because you’d been roller skating with the girls, and gone for dinner after. But right now in this moment, it felt easier to forget about when you saw the look on his face after getting him all this stuff.

“I guarantee this isn’t even the best part!” J.D. runs a hand through his hair and smiles.

“Lovey, I genuinely don’t know what you could get me that could top new boots.” he shrugged, and leaned back. You took the opportunity to sit between his open legs, and take the last item from the bag. Two beaded bracelets, one with your name and favorite colors, and one in black and a couple red beads that said “J•D” on it. There were two metallic bronze beads before the letters. J.D.’s face flushed. You pressed your back to his chest, head resting on the dip from his neck to shoulder, holding the bracelets up. “Nevermind, you’ve done it!” He gives your cheek a kiss, and instantly takes the bracelet with your name on it.

“Huh?”

“Not gonna forget my name, lovebug.” J.D. slips the bracelet on his wrist, while you do the same. “I’d rather have a reminder that I’m yours than just my name.” He grabs your hand, kisses it, and the two of you spend another while watching the cows while snuggled up against each other. Something you wouldn’t trade for the world. Sure, you enjoyed any time you spent with your boyfriend. But any time you got to touch him was in its own league. There wasn’t any sensation more comforting than clutching onto his chest from behind on his Harley, or sitting on the couch with your arm over his shoulder, and hand in his hair. You felt the same feeling of safety surrounding you now. The way J.D held you like you were the last thing on earth to hold. Encircling your body in a soft grip. Not overwhelming or suffocating. Just snug and safe.

You get back to the house in the early evening. You’d both agreed on grabbing something to eat before your last adventure, Spending just enough time to shower and change from the clothes you’ve been laying in the dirt in. J.D. did the same, and when you came downstairs, you saw your boy lacing up his new Docs.

“Perfecto!” You called from the bottom of the stairs. J.D. looks up at you from his bumblebee laces with a grin.

“That’s my word!”

“No better word to describe perfection”

“Got one better.”

“And what’s that?” He gets up and walks towards where you stand.

“Y/N.” Before you could say how unfair that was, you’re being pinned to the wall next to you, trapped in a passionate kiss.

You hopped off J.D.’s bike, handed him the helmet, and headed inside a diner off the highway that you’d both been to together a handful of times. Not far, but you never really saw many people from school there, and that felt like a win. It felt like your spot. Kinda small with warm lights, and dingy, worn, blue booths. Not as well kept as other diners in town, but you both liked it like that. Not to mention the best coffee cake the world has ever seen. (Which you ordered without hesitation)

There you chatted, talking about everything and nothing. The stark contrast between talking about how school had been going, or a show you’d seen on tv, and J.D giving a heads up for a bloodied late night window visit at some point during the week was almost comedic.

A couple plates of fried food and some coffee cake later, you were ready to head off to the last date location of the night. J.D. questioned your full backpack you’d taken with you on the ride, but you told him not to worry about it, and directed him where to go. After a good ten minutes, you pulled up in the back of a rectangular building.

“What now, my dear?” J.D. asked. Your eyes sizing up the padlocked fence in front of you.

“We climb.” you sported a mischievous look on your face, which drove J.D. absolutely insane.

“Speaking my language, I see.” His hands found their way to your hips as another intense kiss had overtaken your mouths.

Scaling the fence was no problem, and neither was pulling a massive flashlight out of your bag to shatter the back window. You both crawl through, and shake off whatever glass could have clung to your clothes. J.D. would not have been able to tell where you were. Your flashlight shone across the room to what he could tell looked like a soundboard? You made your way over, twisted a couple knobs on a different board, and it was then he realized you were both in a smaller room, and you’d turned on a disco ball and violet lights in a bigger room right in front of you. He knew exactly where you were.

“Not much for breaking and entering, but I hope you like it!” you ran down the steps of the sound/light studio, and onto the wooden floors of Sherwood’s local roller rink. J.D. stared on in disbelief with a smile glued to his face.

“I love it!” his voice echoed through the empty rink as he walked down to meet with you in the middle under the disco ball, where you shared yet another kiss.

“Jesus, this is already too much for my eyes.” you muttered, charging back to the light operating booth. You come back with a ladder, and pull a sheet and a few thumbtacks out of your bag.

“There’s more?!” J.D. laughed. Grabbing the bag as you went to work pinning the white sheet on one of the clear walls above the rail.

“I know they have a projector, because they do karaoke Wednesday nights, so I figured I could try my luck at putting it to good use for us.” J.D. pulled out a couple videos you’d rented from the bag. “I was only able to fit one blanket and one pillow, but I have your chest anyway. Would you mind setting that up, babe?”

“Of course.” J.D. doesn’t remember a time he’d felt so special. It took a while to process that You were doing all of this for him. Because you cared about him enough to make him happy just because. For the last half decade of his life, birthdays were just another day that came and went. He didn’t have any family to celebrate with, and never really stayed long enough anywhere to have any friends to tell. The only person who seemed to remember was his father, and even then he didn’t get a ‘happy birthday’. It was usually just some money, or something material to pass the time. Nobody had ever done something like this since he could remember.

"figured this would be the perfect way to wrap up a birthday."

After you’d finished setting up, you popped in your first of two movies, opened cans of Jolt and Pepsi, and spent the rest of the night snuggling and laughing together. After making it halfway through the second movie, J.D. noticed you starting to doze off. Instead of risking you both falling asleep, he started cleaning up, erasing all trace, packed your stuff, and gently woke you up to take you back home. Once you were cuddled up in your actual bed, you were half asleep on his chest when you heard

“Thank you. Thanks so much, Y/N. I love you more than you’ll ever know, my darling.”

[emletish-fish]

I don’t know if you’ve watched the season, but when you watch 4x10 and get to the final Robby scene I’d love to know what you think 👀

I'm trying to watch the eps together with spouse, so hopefully I get to see the rest. So far I am on like ep four?? Five?? Robby's just been to Johnny's apartment.

Here are my feelings so far about Johnny and Robby:

Their only interaction has been Robby coming TO Johnny, (which makes me mad for a myriad of reasons) and Robby's obviously geared himself up for this convo, and he's angry (and probably nervous and upset), and there is an emotional core on Robby's side. He truly is afraid of being like Johnny (and this is a fear Johnny shares???!!!?  and Johnny acknowledges that his son doesn't have full information and this is a factor in him making his choices... And then doesn't try to explain or reach out???!!!?? Like, literally how hard would it be to have Johnny acknowledge that emotional truth that Robby's held out - say : "I don't want that for you either,  I don’t want you to be like me. but there are some things you need to know about CK " and then just TRIED to explain???? It could still end the same way, but just with Robby storming off/rejecting him. Rather than Johnny just getting over their conversation.

Literally what was that shit???

Johnny is just... A dick in that scene. Like he really sucks in this scene. You're letting that boy sleep on a dojo floor with a psychopath who tried to murder you as a teen. maybe get down on your knees and beg forgivenes?? Make a passing effort?? Offer him some safety?? Don't get defensive when he's mad at you??

My feelings about Johnny are oscillating wildly this season between He's a perfect trash panda, he's a cuddly dropbear, he's the biggest asshole I have ever met in my entire life, and I just want to punch him in the face. Like they have written him even dumber and blonder than I did in good boy. (and I leaned into the dumb so hard! Sometimes for Johnny dialogue, I just ask myself what is the stupidest thing a person could say in this instance?)

But his scene with Robby was especially jarring, even though Tanner and Billy are acting their asses off. Something just felt hollow, because it actually doesn't make sense that Johnny would be so cold to Robby in that moment on both a story and a character level.

Sometimes I'm mad at Johnny for actions that feel depressingly in-character, but that's good writing because he's showing one of the many predictable reactions he could have had. Like I was disappointed but not too surprised at the start of season 3, because a self-destructive spiral felt like something Johnny would do in that situation.

But that scene with Robby in front of the apartment just didn't feel in-character for him (while being very in-character for Robby). Johnny, for all his faults - and there are so so many - always CARED when Robby was hurt or vulnerable directly in front of him, often in this really tragically visceral and futile way. 

Their relationship and communication wasn't great, and often Robby's hurt was Johnny's fault. But the instinctual way Johnny ran to him in the first AVT, how soft and gentle he was in the car dropping him off at school when he knew Robby was sad in season 2, and his immediate gutpunch of horror in the dojo at the end of season 3, and his complete heartbreak at Robby's confession that he blamed himself for Johnny's absence. 

(God, please someone tell this kid to stop blaming himself. Someone hug him!!!!!!!???? Someone tell him its going to be alright!!!!)

So far, when Robby drops the tough guy front/gets injured and shows Johnny vulnerability - johnny always responds??? I never doubted that he cared. He just didn't know how to show his love. I always felt it was lack of skills at parenting rather than lack of love on Johnny's end. Like he was so so so bad at showing it, but I felt sure he loved Robby.

Which is why that scene felt so off... It didn't feel like Johnny. Robby is written stronger this season so far, and that scene felt like they wanted Robby to take Silver's advice and face his fears, cut his fear away, show he was embracing more CK philosophies but they needed Robby to leave the scene without reconciling with Johnny (because they need him in cobra kai for the AVT this season... And the minute he reconciles with his father that becomes less likely).

 There were so many other ways that scene could have gotten that same result without making it feel like Johnny doesn't care at all.

I'm mad at the writers for this scene because it's so out of character for Johnny. It felt like bad writing because it went against previously established characterisation. (like as frustrating as daniel's descent into complete hypocrisy is, all the ingredients are there in the narrative. Daniel being a massive hypocrite who followed Mr Miyagi, but never understood - that is in character for him.)

Also, I know they're prolonging the drama and dragging it out between Robby and Johnny, but I need SOMETHING... Some tiny, small step forward. It can immediately be followed by two steps back, but there needs to be some forward momentum with these two - because they end up being stuck in a holding pattern of miscommunication until they have big scenes together towards the final eps of each season. (so I'm guessing whatever goes down in ep 10 is a biggie for these two). But like the holding pattern is getting tired.  If the whole show is going to be six seasons, then season 4 is where their relationshop should start to turn for the better. 

(oh god, just let them have one nice moment this season. please)

The problem in this season for me so far is that Johnny's side of the Robby/Johnny dysfunction is flat. Previously, even when they didn't have scenes together they were still affecting each other's actions and storylines. Like their absence to eachother was given space in the story. Everything Robby does in much of season 1 was the get johnny's attention/provoke a negative reaction. From the moment we find out Robby exists, we see how his absence affects Johnny (its the saddest thing in his life to be without his son, his crappy parenting is a main source of his shame and self-loathing). Season 2 is Johnny realising how toxic Cobra Kai is as a direct result of how Robby was treated, and he spends the season trying to improve it. Season 3 wasn't great on this, but we still had moments where we saw that they needed and missed each other (it all fell to shit when they were together, but the emotions were still there).

Robby's side this season has him immersed in Johnny's world and all the same toxic influences. He mentions Johnny all the time, while mirroring Johnny's season 1 storyline with Miguel almost exactly. (oh jeez, who is sweet precious kenny gonna hurt at the end of all this? - cause thats where that storyline goes) Its very wuthering heights, heathcliff and hareton, will one tree grow as crooked as another with the same bitter wind to twist it. Its classic tragedy and high stakes drama. Robby is definitely getting the strongest writing this season.

But for the first time since Robby was first introduced he's not a factor in Johnny's storyline. And Johnny's storyline s suffering dramatically for it. Johnny's storyline is all over the place this season so far. He feels so much more ... unevenly written than he has in other seasons.

There have been big missteps, such as The daniel and johnny fight over miguel while Robby is in danger . that storyline can go die in a fire. (it was so unnecessary, such a retread of everything. And in a show with such a tight timelimit ep-wise, in an already crowded season, wasting time is especially egregious). But also, there’s a few little things that just felt - off to me, and I can’t put my finger on why. I’ll probably get a better idea once I see the full season. 

But we are at ep five and they still haven't established what Johnny's storyline is ABOUT this season. And he's a main character. Robby is experimenting with his own darkness, facing his fears and mirroring his father by mentoring a kid who needs him without examining just WHAT he's teaching. (though Robby and Kenny have my whole heart and I love them both). Amanda - Tory - Sam drama fantastic (and Johnny's scenes with Sam are some of the best). Hawk is going to do a redemption lap. Daniel is descending into his unexamined trauma and letting his unhinged larusso flag fly. Anthony is a reluctant bully. Kenny is coming into his power. Miguel is figuring out his future.

But what is Johnny doing??

I feel lime his story line is vaguely meant to be about fatherhood, given the flashback - but if so - Robby coming to his apartment was a CRUCIAL scene to get right. And it missed the mark for me.

(have Johnny try, invite Robby in for dinner cause how many opportunities does this dude get to feed his son, and food is love. Have it go okay for a minute or two, then have Robby realise he's eating a dinner his dad made for Miguel. Cue justifiably jealous storm off).

(have Johnny try, but make it clear that Robby is already quite deep in the CK mindset and determined to cut his fear/his heart out. Have Johnny start laying his trauma out for his son and tell him the truth about what he's getting himself into. Let him have a moment if vulnerability WITH Robby, rather that ABOUT him... Have it look like he could potentially get through to Robby, only for that kid to throw up his walls, go 'cool story, tell it to someone who cares' and storm off. Bonus points if they take a moment to show Robby feel regretful/have a moment of doubt outside the apartment, while still doubling down on the CK cut out the fear mentality - for extra high stakes drama).

(just have Johnny try. Its all I ask. Just try, dude).

So sorry, you asked me ablut 4x10 - and I am only at episode 5 and gave you this giant feels dump. I wont get to watch the next five eps until tonight if Im lucky but I already have all these feelings!!!!

I have managed my expectations regarding what I want for the rest of this season.

Johnny: IDK man, they're doing him dirty so far this season, especially in this storyline. His character is making great progress in his scenes with sam, but regressing like crazy in other areas. 

 I just want him to have a more coherent story arc at this stage. Some narrative pay-off for what they've set up. Giving us some inkling he gives a shit is an added bonus. Like I need him to love Robby even if he's bad at showing it. And tbh, I need him to show Hawk some care too because making amends to Hawk is another narrative thread waiting for payoff - and I feel that tine has come. Something bad is going to happen to hawk. Thats a narrative certainty at this point. And I need Johnny to show he cares when it does. Cause fixing his relationship with Hawk could be a beautiful stepping stone for him fixing his relationship with Robby. He can see that its not hopeless. It is possibly to make it up to a kid you failed - but you gotta try, dude.

Robby: oh Robby! I love him. He's doing amazing sweetie. But he's so alone. Not one person has shown him they actually care about him at this point (unless you count Sam at the skate park, lecturing him on his choices. Really Sam?!?!? you are lecturing Robby on his choices?!!?!? you?!? Oh, I forgot. Larussos are always right. But once again, dissappointing, but in-character. Robby’s reaction to her was also *chef’s kiss*.  This season is such a box of choclates. it has gems like this, and then scenes that are garbage fires . 

Like poor Robby. He's homeless and living in a dojo with a murderous psycho - and not a single one of his adults gives a shit. Do Not Get Me Started on Daniel's ep one comment 'then Robby will see that Cobra Kai is wrong.'

Daniel, you complete dingus, he's not over there because he thinks cobra kai is so great. He's over there because you treated him like garbage. You have thrown away your relationship with that beautiful boy three times already. Beating him at karate will not heal that injury. You owe him an apology - not a sanctimonious speech!!!! Ask your daughter how well that went!

Say what you will about Johnny and Robby but at least Johnny is fucking AWARE that HE is the one at fault. He hasn't done anything with that knowledge yet, but at least he knows he’s the one to blame for their dysfunctional relationship. (thats how low my standards are at this point). Johnny's at the starting gate of improving things with Robby right now, cause he can admit the fault/blame lies with him (oh if only he could ever TELL ROBBY that instead of Miguel) and that’s the first step. 

Daniel's not even on the fucking feild.

Sure Daniel - beat him at karate! That'll show Robby how RIGHT you are. I bet he'd love to come back to someone who is always right.

At this stage all I want is for someone to give a shit about Robby's feelings. Someone care about him and worry about him. Someone love him, please. Even if they're aren't good at it. I just need someone to listen to him and care about him and try and understand what he's feeling. Someone reach out. Someone do something. (Amanda, you are doing amazing with Tory. Robby is right there too, and right now, you are my last hope.)

Like I don't think it will happen, cause I feel like Robby is heading for either pyrrhric victory or tragedy this season - but i just want someone to hold him. Someone hug him and tell him its going to be okay.

Anyone?

Literally anyone at this stage.

Not you, Terry. Get a job. Stay away from her.

Ah - oh no. This is huge. I had a lot of feelings. I will answer you original question when I finally see ep 10.

[tilarileopard]

Undertale AU Sims 4 Part 1

I recently got back on my Sims bullshit after many years, and since I've been all-in on Undertale fanfic, I decided to make my favorite disasters in the game and let them loose.

Currently, I have the skellies from Undertale, Underfell, Dancetale, Underswap, and Underlust in the game living their best chaotic lives. I plan on adding Swapfell, Horrortale, Bad Sans Poly Crew, and a few others as I get settled in.

I'm compiling these random ass adventures and screenshots from my poly Discord server to make it easier to share around. :) I also just got set up with all of the expansions and will be adding mods soonish for even more fun. Later updates will have way more screenshots because I realized I should probably be doing that.

Without further adieu, let's get into these disasters.

Tumblr, why is this pic upside down? You are as much of a disaster as this crew is. Leaving it like this because it is VERY FITTING.

The first family is Sans, Papyrus, Red, Edge, Annoying Dog, Doomfanger, and a raccoon named Trash Panda because Red would totally have that as a pet. Their characterizations are heavily drawn from Nilchance's Ain't This the Life and Kamari's Ebott is a Multiverse series.

Starting Their Adventures So far, Edge has made breakfast at 3 am, Trash Panda has been in the literal trash, Doomfanger has attacked a visitor, I have Red and Sans flirting b/c I need Kustard ASAP, also all the pets try to eat all of the food Papryus cooks.

Edge had to take Trash Panda to the vet b/c Trash Panda ate spoiled food, and the raccoon started picking fights in the office. Papyrus tries to clean up around the gremlins as best he can but it is CHALLENGING. The household bought a computer and Red stayed up until like 3 am playing video games

Doomfanger continues to attack literally every guest. Red then praises the cat.

THIS IS ALL SHIT THEY'RE DOING ON THEIR OWN. Very little of this chaos involves my input. I'm mostly the cleanup crew.

Doomfanger decided to run away for a bit, which made everyone in the house sad. Edge posted a lost pet alert and slept a lot and didn't even care that Fanger was filthy when he showed back up.

(Editor's note: This happens a metric shitton until I learn how to lock the doors for the cats. Doomfanger is just an independent soul who wants to terrorize the entire neighborhood.) Papyrus is just power cleaning with all of his might but between the pets and the Sanses, it's a lost cause.

Red decided that he wasn't going to eat the dinner that Papyrus LOVINGLY CREATED one night, so he went to cook tofu dogs on the grill in the backyard. It promptly caught on fire. This will not be the only time this happens. I have learned how to travel to other lots, so I will soon be unleashing their mayhem elsewhere. Red and Sans finally had their first kiss but, in true disaster queer, idiots to idiot lovers fashion, have not actually admitted their attraction to one another yet. Papyrus and Edge have started a garden in the back that was thankfully outside of the blast zone of the grill fire. I'm waiting to see how this goes sideways. Also, Annoying Dog literally will not shut up and barks about everything. Especially when the room's occupant is sleeping.

Red, This is Not How We Min-Max Our Career Progression

Trying to get Sans and Red to up their logic skills for their careers, but RED JUST GETS SUPER FLIRTY AROUND HIM NOW WHICH I FEEL LIKE IS A LITTLE BIT DISTRACTING. I tried to make them woohoo but SANS DECIDED TO JUST GO AND TAKE A FRIKKIN NAP.

So Red is trolling people on the internet now to channel his frustrations elsewhere.

Edge is unironically having lots of fun repairing the toilet. Red unironically refuses to flush the toilet.

Papyrus randomly keeps running out to the trail to say hi to the neighbors. We live by a park. I feel like I need to put a leash on Papyrus for him to get anything done in the house, but that would make this a completely different Sims 4 playthrough.

Annoying Dog Don't Be Creepy

Annoying Dog continues to live up to his name by peeing on Papyrus. Then it's time to bother the rest of the household. RED AND SANS ARE FINALLY FUCKING AND THE GODDAMN DOG IS IN THERE BARKING AT THEM JESUS CHRIST. EDGE IS STANDING IN THE HALLWAY OUTSIDE OF THE BEDROOM DOOR OH NO. ..he's doing situps outside of their door. Wat? I feel like this household needs to have some discussions about boundaries. Sans fell asleep right after and Red is outside playing post-coital chess by himself. Sure, why not?

I feel like Papyrus intentionally has a weekend work schedule when everyone else is home all day just to get some space.

Disasters Gonna Disaster It is once again 3 am. Edge is trying to repair the sink that Sans somehow broke by washing his hands. Red and Sans are boyfriends now but trying to get them to sleep in the same bed is like pulling teeth. Red keeps falling asleep on the couch. I gave the raccoon catnip and now it's chasing its tail in the litter box. Red's raccoon has shit like 5 times an hour. Edge is slowly going crazy trying to keep the litter boxes clean. He then managed to fill out daily reports so hard that the computer is sparking.

For some reason, Papyrus really loves making coffee and then taking it into the bath with him. I assume it's because that's a very efficient way of getting ready. Dateasters Sans and Red are on a date. It is a disaster. Sans keeps wandering off and when I got them both in a quiet corner, he managed to make his way back to the goddamn bar. RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF RED ASKING TO MAKE OUT. Sans refuses to leave the bar, so now Red is at a table with two strangers. OH FFS SANS IS TALKING TO A STRANGER AT THE BAR ABOUT HIS COMMITMENT ISSUES. Red has gone off down to the wharf to talk to a feral cat. Petting a wild cat is probably easier than trying to corner a cagey Sans right now. TFW getting them to travel back home is the most convoluted mess of menus and clicks. A MESS LIKE THEIR DATE. I later learned that there are much easier ways to manage that.

THE GAME GAVE ME A CONSOLATION PRIZE FOR THE DATE. This tracks.

Sans immediately went for a depression nap. Red is sitting in Edge's room drinking coffee while Edge upgrades the bathroom sink. Red's raccoon has FINALLY stopped his chain shitting after leaving the lot and coming back.

Papyrii Doesn't Get Paid Enough For This Shit Papyrus got home from his catering shift, took one look around the house, said fuck that, and went to bed immediately. Someone in this house has a sense of self-preservation, look at that. Edge and Annoying Dog have been on a walk for the past three hours. Papyrii know how to clear out of a blast zone. Oh god, Sans woke up and has decided to grill himself a hamburger. DON'T YOU KNOW YOUR BROTHER COOKS FOR THE HOUSEHOLD WHEN HE GETS HOME AFTER A LONG SHIFT SO YOU DON'T GO SETTING SHIT ON FIRE!?!?!??! To no one's surprise, the grill catches on fire. Again. OMFG RED GOES TO THE GRILL RIGHT AFTER I REPLACE IT FROM SANS SETTING IT ON FIRE. I am shocked, somehow it didn't re-catch on fire. Which is good because I was not gonna replace that shit a third time. (Reader, this was a lie). Sans just standing in Edge's room talking to Doomfanger and ignoring the chaos.

Once again, Papyrus has woken up out of a dead sleep to make coffee and sit in the tub. He does not need a bath. I think he might be a tad stressed. I can't imagine why. Time for Underlust Because I am truly deficient when it comes to making reasonable buildings in any games (my Valheim creations were truly...something), MalaikaDream created Lust, Pink, and a truly lovely house.

It took two minutes after Mala left for shit to explode.

RIGHT AFTER YOU LEFT, PINK INVITED HIMSELF OVER. BUT THEN DOOMFANGER RAN AWAY (Doomfanger runaway counter: 2). SO THEN EDGE WAS SAD AND STARTED MOPING ROOM TO ROOM AND MAKING PINK PISSED OFF BECAUSE HE WOULDN'T STAY STILL AND TALK. THEN PAPYRUS CAME HOME FROM WORK. WITH LIKE A ZERO EXHAUSTION AND HYGIENE METER AND JUST PLOPS DOWN NEXT TO PINK WHILE EDGE IS TRYING TO APOLOGIZE

PINK IS LIKE DEAR GOD IT'S SO STINKY. THEN EDGE GOES AND DEPRESSION NAPS AND SO DOES SANS. ANYWAY, BOTH LUST AND PINK ARE TRYING TO GET WITH EDGE BUT THEY KEEP INVITING THEMSELVES OVER AT THE WORST TIMES. I'M SORRY FRIENDS BUT STAYING UNTIL 3 AM ON A WORK NIGHT JUST MAKES EVERYONE CRANKY. Oh Disaster Goblin Couple

ALSO RED AND SANS ARE HAVING PROBLEMS, AGAIN.

Then Doomfanger got pissed off about a vet visit that bugged out so it lasted 14 hours and took off again (Doomfanger runaway counter: 3).

Everyone is sad, again and it's the weekend, so Papyrus is at work all night. To stop them from starving in depression, I order Zoomer delivery. SO THE DELIVERY LADY BRINGS IN THE FOOD BAG, AND I MOUSE OVER, AND SHE IS SAD AND IS IN THEIR HOUSE NOW. SANS AND RED ARE TRYING TO AWKWARDLY COMFORT THE DELIVERY DRIVER WHILE BEING VERY SAD ABOUT DOOMFANGER. Right now the delivery driver in our bathroom trying to pep-talk herself in the mirror, and Sans trying to cheer her up. SHE FINALLY LEFT AT LIKE 11 PM. LOOK WHAT WERE THEY SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THAT? NEITHER SANS NOR RED IS GONNA INSULT SOMEONE WILLING TO DELIVER FOOD TO THEM. DELIVERY DRIVERS ARE LIKE GODS ENABLING THEIR LAZINESS.

Doomfanger, What Do You Want From Me? For the like fourth time, Doomfanger has run away because she insists the 234234324 litter boxes available to her are dirty when they are, in fact, clean. (Doomfanger runaway counter: 4). The fridge broke after Edge went to work, and I didn't want anyone electrocuting themselves, so Papyrus called a repair person. He was depressed all over the repair person and had to excuse himself to his bedroom to cry twice during their conversation. Doomfanger you are tearing this family apart. Red is taking a depression nap in the new hot tub.

I had a suggestion that the delivery lady and repair guy are reader self-inserts and now that's my head canon.

Going to Grillby's

I downloaded a Grillby's lot to put in their neighborhood (I need to look up the specific one I added to give credit, will do that when I have the chance.)

The first visit didn't go so well.

Sans was miserable that night going in, and then Red decided to flirt with someone else in front of Sans. Trying to keep my favorite couple happy is trying.

Edge, surprisingly, had a great time, mostly because I made it a cat-friendly place so there were owned and stray cats all over the place and he was introducing himself to every. single. one. Crazy cat lady Edge is my favorite headcanon ever. Plus the only reason that Edge would willingly step foot into Grillby's is if he's there to feed the community cats. Welcome the Rarepair

Edge and Pink had a lovely date and thankfully the house wasn't on fire when he got back that night. I had him invite Pink to stay the night but tbh I don't actually know how that mechanic works specifically so we'll see how that ends up playing out. I've also been making Red be a complete asshole to the random people who like to show up to try and visit, which makes the wild Y/N headcanon even more hilarious.

And the repair dude who stayed all day because Papyrus introduced himself. Which I mean, it's Papyrus, so fair.

Dance Fuckers Dance

Mala also handled the Dancetale house build because, once again, I am as much of a disaster goblin as Sans and Red and can't be trusted with these things.

THE WELCOME WAGON OF GOBLINS HAS JUST ROLLED UP. Sans, Red, Lust, Pink, Papyrus have shown up to introduce themselves Papyrus needs to pee desperately but is too polite to leave the conversation without saying hi.

WAIT IT'S A FUCKING TUESDAY. AT 2 PM. YOU FUCKERS HAVE WORK. WHY ARE YOU THERE???? ONLY PAPYRUS SHOULD BE THERE PROBABLY, MAYBE SANS. YOU FUCKS BETTER HAVE TAKEN VACATION DAYS. WHY IS SANS COOKING AT THEIR HOUSE? HE IS GOING TO BURN THE HOUSE DOWN. HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE COOKING. SANS LEFT IT ON THE STOVE AND WENT TO MAKE COFFEE. HE IS WALKING AWAY NOW. SANS. SANS WHAT THE FUCK. HE WAS MAKING MAC AND CHEESE JUST WHAT THE FUCK Suave is going to go finish it because he is a fine upstanding citizen. Dance is mainlining tea,

PINK JUST TOOK THE MAC AND CHEESE AND IS EATING IT. WHY??? WHAT KIND OF WELCOME WAGON IS THIS? SAUVE IS NOW GOSSIPING ABOUT NEIGHBORS EXCEPT ALL THE NEIGHBORS ARE IN THE HOUSE RIGHT NOW. THIS TRACKS. SANS IS RANDOMLY WALKING OFF WITH SOME MAC AND CHEESE TO GO TO THE PICNIC BENCHES IN THE PARK AND THEN HE LEFT IT THERE.

WAIT. IT'S EGGS AND TOAST. WHERE THE FUCK DID HE GET EGGS AND TOAST FROM?

HE STARTED MAKING EGGS AND TOAST AND THEN WALKED TO THE PARK TO LEAVE THE HALF-PREPARED EGGS AND TOAST. SANS WHAT THE FUCK 2.0? Pink left one bite of mac and cheese on the plate, Dance went and finished it. Suave is now finishing the eggs and toast that Sans started. Sans hates cooking, why did he start two meals. It has somehow managed to be excellent quality, b/c Suave.

Starting Up Burlesque - Dial-up Noises DANCE AND LUST HAVE FINALLY MET. Pink just sitting back and watching the spectator sport of awkward flirting. He literally had the popcorn thought bubble at one point.

Mala was playing this round and frikkin speedrunning to their OTP. Lust had cooked a hamburger cake at some point. When? Who knows. From first kiss to boyfriends to woohoo - two days. They fucked in the observatory because Lust's fancy ass house (that towers over my disaster shack) has one of those.

OH MY GOD, IT MAKES THE TELESCOPE MOVE. JESUS CHRIST THEY ARE ROCKING THE TELESCOPE. SANS IS GOING TO BE VERY ANNOYED AT THIS. OH MY GOD, WHEN THEY FINISH THE FUCKING TELESCOPE SPINS AROUND.

WHAT EVEN IS THIS GAME? JESUS CHRIST MALAJUST HAD LUST PROPOSE. LUST AND DANCE ARE NOW ENGAGED. THEY HAVEN'T EVEN BEEN ON A DATE. I didn't know I was playing a realistic queer dating simulator. Time to name this Underhaulin'. THEY ARE FUCKING IN THE OBSERVATORY AGAIN. Of course.

The Disasters Never End

SANS VISITED PINK AND LUST AND HAS DECIDED TO JUST GO TO SLEEP IN LUST'S BED.

LUST HAS SET HIMSELF ON FIRE WHILE COOKING. PINK LAUGHED AT HIM. PINK HE ONLY HAS ONE HP HOW DARE. FUCKING SIMS 4 TRYING TO INTRODUCE SOME FUCKING ANGST INTO OUR IDIOTS TO IDIOT LOVERS FIC.

Doomfanger is best cat when the little shit isn't driving everyone to depression when she runs away.

Papyrus works too hard and then passes out on the way to his bed sometimes. Once again, what is this game, even?

ANYWAY GRILLBY'S TRIP TONIGHT!

TRYING TO KEEP ANY OF THESE DISASTERS IN ONE PLACE IS VERY HARD. NO ONE BUT THE ORIGINAL GOBLINS STAYED AT GRILLBY'S FOR MORE THAN LIKE AN HOUR. PINK, LUST, DANCE, AND SUAVE ARE ALL SLEEPING NOW.

Edge is upgrading the toilets so they're self-cleaning.

Red, Sans, and Edge finally got home at like 5 am. THANKFULLY THIS TIME RED WASN'T HITTING ON OTHER PEOPLE IN FRONT OF SANS. Okay nix that 5 AM thing. It's 7 am and they still haven't made the walk down the street. I TOLD THEM TO GO HOME AND THEY ARE JUST STANDING OUT FROM OF GRILLBYS.

The one other acceptable reader insert other than the delivery lady who is worshipped as a god is the crazy cat lady Katarina.

Oh No, Oh No, Oh No No NO NO NOOO!!! OH MY GOD SO DANCE IS IN EDGE'S ROOM PLAYING HIS VIOLIN, SO WHEN I HAD EDGE ASK PINK TO WOOHOO FOR THE FIRST TIME, THEY WENT INTO PAPYRUS' BED. PAPYRUS JUST GOT HOME FROM WORK.

Edge and Pink are so adorable together but also Edge is still sitting there like oh our friendship and romance meters are basically maxed, but I'm too nervous to ask him to be my boyfriend I dunno if he likes me. BUT SERIOUSLY I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY FUCKED IN PAPYRUS' BED. Thankfully he was taking a bubble bath at the time of the fuckening.

RED AND SANS PLAYING THE "WHAT ARE YOUR INTENTIONS WITH MY BROTHER" GAME.

Papyrus in the back cleaning up and just happy everyone seems like they're getting along. Edge is gonna go guilty upgrade Papyrus' bed as penance.

PINK I JUST BOUGHT THAT TEA MAKER. HOW IS IT BROKEN?

The Game is Very Set On Us Having an Angst Arc Pink came over to hang out and I had Red tending the bar at the house to up his mixology skill. Sans came over and decided to flirt with Pink IN FRONT OF RED AND EDGE SO NOW MY FELL BOYS ARE VERY FUCKING SAD.

SANS THIS IS NOT HOW YOU GET BACK AT RED. Oh no Red gets a breakup prompt and holy shit their romance meter dropped to half. It was full. Okay, their romance meter is back at square one so IT'S TIME FOR THE ANGST ARC APPARENTLY. Cuz Red went and gave Sans the cold shoulder then insulted his woohoo techniques Poor Papyrus was at work during all of this and is, once again, going to come home to a disaster. Red is back to sleeping in his own room for now.

I'm Going to Leave a Bad Yelp Review

WHAT THE SHIT. I hired a maid service to give Papyrus a break. SHE GOT A COFFEE AND IS TAKING A BATH.

Edge is currently chatting with Pink LIKE AN ADULT about how he felt about the flirting. Sans is ignoring his problems by playing with the raccoon.

I am sending Edge next door and it pops the prompt to invite Sims along and like 75% of Edge's friends list are cats and dogs. Sans tried to have a suggestive conversation. Red had just got home from work and has immediately gone to throw his drink in Sans' face.

And well. No Sans. You really fucked up. OR MAYBE NOT. Red got happy when he got close to Sans so he didn't do the thing. Maybe this can go well. Unexpected.

I think Sans apologized. Then apparently went to take a nap. So Red is gonna wander down to Grillby's and antagonize more reader inserts to celebrate. He has invited everyone on his list that he hates, and then turns on the most annoying music on the jukebox - kids music.

Red invites Sans to Grillby's after his nap, and the first thing Sans does is start dancing to the kids music. Oh my god. Anyway, there are 5 more people on Red's hate list so this has been a very productive evening. Red has fallen asleep in his favorite booth.

Doomfanger Pls

Papyrus and Sans had a brotherly day out visiting a haunted museum. They made friends with a ghost dog.

RESET YOUR DOOMFANGER RUN AWAY COUNTERS (...6 I think?) Edge had to take the day off to take Annoying Dog to the vet, and now both Papyrus and Edge are pre-cleaning before the maid service arrives. This is a very Papyrii thing to do. ]I DON'T KNOW WHY BUT THE MAID IS HEATED. He has stopped cleaning and is now just sitting on the couch. Edge is coping with his Doomfanger sadness by going over to his crazy cat lady friend's house and feeding all the strays treats. ALSO, WHAT ARE THEY DOING TO THE TEA MAKER THAT IT EXPLODES EVERY 5 SECONDS The raccoon attacked the pizza delivery driver. The driver liked it.

Commitment-phobe Chaos

SANS WHO THE FUCK DID YOU THINK YOU WERE CALLING?

I guess they're not over their fight yet.

PAPYRUS CAN MAKE SACK LUNCHES NOW OMG. Truly the pinnacle of gaming.