#i am bad with words but yes ocs sometimes look like each other

[kroovv]

This isn't criticism but does that anon know about the hundreds of identical ocs that exist out there? Off the top of my head right now I can name at least 3-4 dark haired white emo boy ocs who all have band shirts and skinny jeans and a purple hair streak and that's just the ones I remember (and have seen)(not judging its just what I can think of rn lol). It's literally like, fine, if you make a design that looks like someone else's. Nothing is original etc etc, eventually 2 people are going to completely independently make identical ocs it's just how it goes sometimes. Nothing to be anxious about. Most people when they see someone has an oc that looks like theirs aren't going to go "hey! Thief!!" they're going to go "oh neat!" and move along, it's chill it's fine, if making a character that looks like someone else's was bad we'd have run out of art to make by the stone age

👆👆👆

[twstfanblog]

*~Nasty Neige~*

AN: GOD, I lost control over this fic the second I started it, I didn't mean to make this thing so long. Which is why it took me so long to get everything down and editing. I know I missed something but I can make edits as I put links up on the other entries.

Word Count: 5.3K

Warnings: Neige being a general creepy guy. Obsessive thoughts, stalker vibes. Swears. She/They Yuu OC.

Pairings: Vil/Rook, Vil & Yuu (Siblings), One-sided Vil/Neige, Epel/Deuce?/Jack? (Guess)

Enjoy~!

Starter, Part 1 (Here), Part 2 (Heartslabyul), Part 3 (Diasomnia)

Classes didn’t start for another week and the open house event didn’t start for another day, so Yuu didn’t have any reason to be awake before noon. But she was because her trauma-filled body kept hearing noise downstairs. The first few times she was able to drift back to sleep, not hearing anything after the initial sound and assuming Grim was walking around looking for snacks. But then she realized Grim was still sleeping tucked up against her stomach, more floorboards creaking downstairs with no explanation. She does her best to not jostle Grim, reaching to the nightstand and grabbing her phone, cursing under her breath as she sees it was barely past 8:30 am.

She didn’t change out of her pjs, slipping on her houseshoes while she left the bed. Making sure Grim was tucked into the still-warm covers, Yuu grabbed her golf cub, making her way downstairs and avoiding the loud boards. Even after multiple renovations, there were still floorboards that creaked and on bad storm nights the whole house sounded like it groaned. (A part of her simply made peace with that it wouldn’t be Ramshackle if it wasn’t a little old and creaky). Besides her, Grim was the only one who knew what boards hated being stepped on. Ortho knew them too but he didn’t walk much. Epel seemed to take sick pleasure in stepping on each one whenever he came over, and the rest of her friends were either too naturally loud or heavy to not make noise in the dorm. 

She would have felt more at ease if whoever was in her house was being loud. Her friends were loud, even if they knew she was asleep. But whoever was there was trying to be quiet and failing. Once downstairs she tries to hear where the intruder was, poising to swing. The sound of the toaster popping gives her the element of surprise, rushing into the kitchen.

Both she and the blond intruder scream when they see each other, Yuu just barely stopping her swing. Vil braced himself against the counter, breathing in a forced calm pattern before glaring at her. His hair pulled back in a messy ponytail, face bare besides a tinted lipgloss. Dressed in a modified cropped yellow hoodie, high-waisted black leggings and simple sneakers, “I swear you and Epel are determined to give me gray hairs! Why are you just so ready to deal violence!? It’s 8 in the morning!”

Yuu leans against her golf cub, trying to ease her own adrenaline spike, “Yeah! It’s 8 am, why are you in my house!? Also, are you dying? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you without foundation.” Her anger grows seeing the disheveled model look at her with a pinched face, not answering her as he turns back to plate the food he was cooking on her stove. She opens her mouth to yell again, only to look at the kitchen window and realize, “...Did you close the blinds?”

Yuu had an odd relationship with blinds after meeting Rook. Yes, she kept her more personal areas heavily covered and only opened them for her monthly dorm deep clean, but the more communal areas of the dorm were free to be viewed from outside. It was nice sometimes to be relaxing on her lonesome only to hear a tap against a window. A tap could be Jack and Vil on their morning runs asking her to pass them glasses of water or fruit she had on hand. Maybe Lilia coming to scare her or show her a new melody he’d learned. Ace or Deuce coming to beg her for help after they’ve pissed Riddle off. And Vil knew Rook would rather enter through a window than a damn doorway. Either way, open blinds at Ramshackle had come to mean ‘Come in’. Something that Rook delighted in whenever he wasn’t too busy with his ‘errands’.

“...” She looks around, finally taking note how all of her downstairs windows seemed to have not only their binds but the thick curtains closed, “Are you and Rook fighting?”

“Oh, he’s going to wish we were when I get back in the dorm…”

She laughs, watching the model bite into a slice of toast with a runny egg on top of it, “Oh sevens, the year hasn’t even started yet. Why are you fighting?” 

Vil huffed, rolling his eyes, trying to avoid her gaze. Talking with one’s mouth full was just rude, plus he knew if he started ranting his food would be cold before he was done. If he had to hide out at Ramshackle for the day he would need the protein. Glancing down at Yuu, he openly takes another big bite of toast, just to show he wasn’t going to answer her anytime soon.

“Ok, fuck you too then, I’ll just open the blinds while you’re being a bitch.”

He chokes on a bite, nearly dropping the plate in his rush to shove it onto the counter. Nails sinking into her shoulder to stop her, not caring at the mush of food falling out of his mouth as he shouts, “NO!”

Yuu hisses, a hand coming up to yank Vil’s hand away from her, “OW!? Ok, what is the issue? Is Rook finally coming to shave an undercut on you or something?”

Vil sighs, giving her a small apologetic look before he swallows, “Neige is in Pomefiore. I…really didn’t want to deal with him today so I managed to make my way here to hide out. I don’t think anyone saw me, but I didn’t want to risk someone seeing me from the windows…” He takes another bite of toast, fingers wiping yolk from his lips, “Sorry about your shoulder…”

“...” Yuu sighs, placing her club against the wall and waves his apology off, “It’s fine. I hate Neige too but like- Wait, why is his ass here?” At Vil’s equally bewildered shrug her brows crease, “The open house doesn’t start until tomorrow? Are you sure he’s like here, here?”

“Seeing how Rook was yelling outside my room about his ‘Roi de Neige’ being in Pomefiore and he had to make himself look presentable, I would think so.” Vil scoffs, rolling his eyes at the very idea of anyone liking Neige.

Good ole Rook, scaring the precious wildlife to get them to escape a foreign danger. Might as well send him a text to ask how long he thinks it’ll be until Vil was safe to enter his dorm again.

“Well, get comfy I guess. Idia made sure I was set with cable and various media players, so there should be something on the TV. I’m going to make breakfast for me and Grim.”

Vil moved out of her way, finishing off his breakfast before grabbing a mixing bowl to hand to her, “Sorry, I should have made you two something as well instead of just myself.”

“Please don’t. Your unseasoned pallet would send Grim over the edge.”

The dorm leader, moves the bowl out of her grip, smacking her on the head with it before putting it on the counter, “Fuck you, you don’t need to use salt and garlic salt in the same dish.”

“They are different things, Vil.”

“They’re both salt.”

Neige looked around before fully exiting from the mirror, a hand quickly making sure his wig was in place. It wasn’t hard borrowing a disguise from his friends on his current movie set. Decked out in a mid-length pink wig and pale blue contacts, a simple white shirt, indigo overalls and his dark brown boots he wasn’t the least bit recognizable. Biting into his lower lip softly, he squealed, staring at the castle against the early sky. That’s where Vi slept! The blond had been in this very pocket dimension for years, he walked on these paths, talked in the halls, bathed in the water- He needed to focus. Giving himself one last preening, he calms his breath and walks toward the dorm.

Each step made his heart flutter. Excitement and fear pulsing in his veins the closer he got to the large, pristine castle. He was breaking so many rules; he wasn't supposed to be here for many reasons. The open house wasn't even open for the Seven's sake, he didn't go to this school, and he had no one's permission to be here. But he had to, it was his only chance. The open house would no doubt have people crawling all over the campus. Neige wouldn't be able to walk around as himself, let alone be able to get some alone time to talk with his Vi.

Ah. Just the thought of him alone was enough to make his knees weak. 

He closes his eyes, hands gripping onto his shoulders in a self-hug when he finally steps onto the main area of the dorm. He breathes it all in, nearly missing a figure in an old yellow hoodie race past him to exit through the mirror. 

He opened his eyes in panic, looking to see if the other figure was suspicious of him. He lets out a breath in relief. Whoever they were, they seemed more interested in running to wherever. Vi had made posts about how proud he was of his dorm members taking morning runs, maybe they were simply late for a run with friends. His palms get sweaty as his thoughts start to race at the thought of Vi running with him.

The image of Vi in his black and light purple designer tracksuit, hair pulled back into a wind-swept ponytail. Lips open in a pant as sweat drips down his jaw- FOCUS. He wasn't here to fantasize! He could do that when he went back to his dorm. Hopefully after gaining something to remember his trip by.

His eyes scan the courtyard. It was beautiful as expected, with elegant pathways of carved stones and a large elaborate water feature giving a calming background noise to the area. Apple trees with bright red fruits scattered amongst the deep green grass. The area was so clean and proper he could almost imagine he was back on Royal Sword grounds.

Pulling out his phone he starts to walk on the grass, whispering a small apology for ignoring the very clear sign saying to ‘Stay Off’. Vi had posted a video in late spring. He and a few other students had replanted a number of trees after a mysterious storm had wrecked multiple dorms in NRC. The blond was shown smeared lightly with dirt, a smile on his face as he gently placed a nursery tree into a hole. The video ending on Vi smiling to the camera, air-kissing the leaves of the tree and a message showing up. 'Grow up lovely, little tree'

(Neige won't comment on how he spent an hour in the bathroom connected to his dorm room, trying to hide his sobs as he promised the paused video to grow up to be a big lovely tree. He doesn't think he was successful if Chenya's side-eye was anything to note.)

He wanted to find that tree, he needed to. The urge to simply touch it, feel the bark and soil that were touched by the hands of perfection. Maybe, if it wasn't too tall yet, he could even kiss those same leaves…

It took him nearly an hour, 9 am rolling around and the sun making its formal appearance in the sky, but he found it. Tucked neatly at a distance from two adult trees, small blooms in the branches but no fruits. This was the tree.

Neige takes a picture, walking closer and snapping more as he posed in front of the tree. He looks the tree over and frowns, in such a short amount of time the tree had matured too tall for him to properly kiss its leaves. He couldn't even take a blossom without struggling to climb the still-thin tree. He was light, but he couldn't risk harming the tree Vi had put such love and dedication to. 

Instead, he looks around, making sure there was still no one walking around the courtyard before he gently placed his hands on the trunk of the tree. One last nervous glance around, he licks his lips, leaning forward to lightly air kiss against the bark of the tree. Pulling back he felt his nerves alight, filling him with excitement that pulled him back toward the tree. This time his lips connected against the rough bark, lips stinging from the contact before he pulls away.

An indirect kiss with his Vi. The tree was their shared project now, another creative child they can look back on together. He can barely hold back his squeal, bouncing on his heels before wrapping his arms around the tree in a hug. He even peppers a few more kisses onto the bark.

Rook had only sent a single text to respond to her. Stating he would come for Vil when he was done with his hunt before ignoring her other messages. Even now, as lunch rolled around, there was still no answer from the French man.

"Do you not have anything that's prepacked or frozen to eat, potato?"

Yuu looks up from the kitchen table, glaring at the model searching through her cabinets, "You know, you don't need to be here. You could just go back to Pomefiore and deal with your waking nightmare." She turns back to her phone, ignoring Vil's groan and him slamming the cupboard shut.

"You know I can't. Not until I’m sure Neige is gone anyway…" He sighs, moving to sit beside her at the table, "Well, it's not healthy, but I guess I can afford to skip lunch…"

"..." She huffs, rolling her eyes and standing, "No skipping meals, Regina. How about you let me get you a cheat day snack and we can spend time watching terrible movies?"

Vil raised an eyebrow at her, a single black painted nail tapping at the table as he thought her offer over. Vil didn't take cheat days often, if ever. But…he was probably due for one. While he found her food to be disgustingly overseasoned, Yuu did make efforts to modify her favorites so he'd feel comfortable indulging himself. He clicks his tongue and stands from the table, "I suppose. Nothing too greasy dear, the stress of today is already doing a number on my skin. I'll go pick some movies out."

While Yuu was busy in the kitchen, Vil got to work kicking Grim off of his game system. The cat huffed and yowled, but quickly made his way to the kitchen to beg Yuu for a snack. Once Grim was gone, Vil got to work picking from Yuu's horrid movie choices.

Vil could't blame Yuu for not knowing anything when they first met. As the cover story went, before he spoke to them, Yuu was an extremely sheltered child who hadn't been allowed to interact with society. Their social disconnect and blank references to common knowledge only sold the lie. He remembers talking to Crewel, mildly worried of Yuu's home life and what kind of person would raise such a child.

But now he knew them better and didn't need to hold back his distaste for their movie tastes.

What he wasn't expecting was for them to drag him into these terrible movie-viewing sessions. They were at first just painful, having to sit and watch mid-tier actors do mediocre jobs. Sitting quietly as they flubbed lines or the crew barely performed their duties. 

But at their first viewing session, Vil took notice of Yuu's attitude. They were open on their negative opinions of the films, pointing out the same issues Vil found and even some he missed. Before he knew it, it'd become a biweekly event of picking a terrible movie, new or classic, and ripping it apart together. Sure people could call it 'mean', an A-list movie star tearing into indie films. But they were bad films. And he was free to say whatever he wanted in his private time.

He planned on staying the whole day, so he picked more movies than he'd normally allow for a single session. He hummed a song under his breath as he started to set the TV up, a melody he heard Epel mumbling under his breath over and over. The sound of popcorn popping just barely heard from the kitchen. Soon, Grim returned to the couch, making a point to push against him just to be an annoyance, Yuu following behind him with a tray. A bowl of popcorn with a pitcher and two glasses of juice.

They set the tray down on the coffee table, Vil catching a glimpse before they shut the lights off, “Potato! Why would you make this?”

Yuu sits beside him, also shoving their shoulder into his chest in a mock cuddling position, “Shut up, Mexican- I mean- Xochian popcorn is a perfect cheat day snack! Plus I only used like half the mayo and cheese. It’s basically flavorless, just how you like it.”

Vil glares, taking a single kernel before starting the first movie, “How you’ve survived this long on your diet both amazes and infuriates me.”

Neige kept close to the walls of the dorm. There weren’t too many people walking around, almost all of them simply minding their own business. One even waved at him as they passed in the hallway. He had to pat himself on the back, his disguise was working perfectly!

His nervous walk had slowly turned into his normal skip, eyes roaming along the walls at the ornate architecture and glamorous frames of art. In his bliss, he nearly skips past what could only be the dorm’s lounge. A large seating room with multiple couches and duos of armchairs scattered on polished marble floors. Off in the corner sat an ebony grand piano overlooking the orchard of apple trees. He inhales deeply, the scent of apples and vanilla filling his lungs, with another deep breath, he can pick hints of other notes. Pinches of a flower he couldn’t name and some type of earthly produce. Neige wondered if the smell was something Vi had created or if the dorms naturally smelled this refined.

The lounge was empty, giving him the pleasure to walk and explore the place as he pleased. He took his time to inspect the couches, taking a photo now and again and wondering if he could purchase a matching loveseat for his side of his dorm room. Throw pillow in hand, he walks over to a pair of curtains, lifting them just to peek behind them. The silk pillow slips from his hands, stunned as he looks at a peacock-themed throne. Vi’s throne, the one he sat on. Neige bites his lip so hard he feared he would draw blood. Looking behind him and seeing no one, he stepped into the hidden cove where the throne sat, closing the curtains behind him and hiding from stray eyes.

He drops to his knees instantly, folding his arms under his cheek as he rests his head on the seat of the throne. It was so cozy…Smelling of fresh linens and a dash of lilacs. Nuzzling into the fabric, Neige lets his mind wander. The idea of being in the same school, the same dorm as his Vi, getting to kneel at his feet and rest his head on his lap. His nails dug into the cushion, breathing picking up as he imagined Vi petting his hair while he hummed to him.

After getting his fill, he stood up, phone raised to take a picture of the throne. A dozen photos later he was back in the dorm hallway, smiling at the growing album of photos he’d have for his digital dream board. He pauses in front of a series of photos lining the wall. He then realized it was the portraits of past house wardens, each of them hand-painted with a neutral, regal expression. Neige smiles, looking over each beautiful face. This dorm was made for Vi, a place where only the beautiful and talented could be allowed. Not only had his fellow actor been accepted but he had conquered. His steps picked up speed wanting to see if Vi had a portrait at the end of the hall.

No museum could compare to the masterpiece before him. The portrait of a younger Vi stared back at him, sitting at a 3/4th view sitting on a chair with his hands placed on his lap. His hair was pulled back, a simple updo with the ombre ends curled on top of his head. The crown Vil normally wore tastefully askew was placed on him properly, it looked so odd but still so perfectly Vi.

He looks down the hall, making sure a group of students had gone around the corner before he looks to the other side. Seeing the coast was clear, he quickly stepped closer to the portrait, leaning down and pressing his lips to the painting's hands, kissing at the smooth ivory fingers. Before he could stop himself his mouth opened, tongue peaking out to lick a quick strip against the surface. It didn’t have a taste past the hint of bitter, he wondered if Vi’s fingers tasted bitter. It would make sense, Vi worked a lot with potions and natural cosmetics, Neige would deal with the bitter taste if he could kiss Vi’s fingers for real…

"Why are we doing this to ourselves?"

"How does he just forget the name of his sister?"

"Do you hate me? Is that why you've made me a part of this cursed ritual?"

" They haven't spoken for like only a year! How do you just completely forget your sibling like this!? Did they both sustain heavy brain damage!?"

"This is the industry I've dedicated my life to…"

They were only on their second movie, but both Vil and Yuu were ready to bash the TV as a form of self-defense. That or simply weep at how nonsensical the plot was. Vil couldn’t really believe half the movies he had been forced to watch were from the same studios he had worked with. It felt surreal for him to see ex-costars acting in what were possibly the worst films ever conceived. It scared him at times- was that his possible future? Going from box office hits to acting in direct-to-disk spoof movies? 

Though they joked about him being at least better than direct-to-disk, Yuu was firm on stating Vil wouldn’t ever star in a flop. His fanbase was too devout to him not to buy tickets, even if the movie looked bad. With his acting skills alone, he could at least make a flop into a cult classic.

(“I mean look at me. I love watching shitty movies. It’s even better when an A-List celebrity shows up in one. Like, it’s half the fun to figure out why they’re there than following what the plot is.”)

Vil groans at another scene, lying against the couch with his arm resting over his eyes, “By the sevens, they’re related!”

Yuu groans, snatching the bowl of popcorn from Grim, grabbing a handful before offering it to Vil, “This is genuinely annoying. Do you remember what the plot is?”

Sighing, Vil reaches for the pile of Disk boxes, grabbing their current movie before reading the summary. Mid-read he pauses, staring at the back of the box with a blank expression before he tosses it away, grabbing the remote from Yuu’s hands, “We’re starting over.”

Grim groans, having climbed over their laps to place his head firmly back into the popcorn bowl, “Why!? You guys don’t even like these movies!”

“Never thought I’d agree with Grim, but Vil this is painful I want this to end.”

Vil shushes her as he restarts the movie, “No, they’re not siblings; they’re childhood friends.”

“Wait, what?” Yuu looks between Vil and the screen in confusion, “No…We would have caught that! We would have caught that much of a scenario prompt!”

“Well clearly we didn’t, so now we’re restarting the movie with the proper context. Maybe it will actually save the film…”

Yuu groans, sinking into the couch, “This is somehow a new form of torture, I know it is…”

He was going to be arrested one day, he knew it.

Neige rested his back against the closed door, eyes looking around the room with wide excited eyes. Vi’s room. He was inside Vi’s room. He could die right now and do so with bliss.

He couldn’t tell if he was sad by seeing the room was empty, or relieved he wouldn’t be questioned by his idol and holder of affection. He’s not sure what he would do or say in his disguise under Vi’s critical gaze. Neige feared he’d either crumble and spill the truth the second the blond lifted a perfectly shaped brow, or he’d keep his identity hidden and simply tell Vil everything.

That would absolutely get him arrested though.

But Vi wasn’t in his room, no one but Neige was there to stand and exist in the space. Arms moving to hug his body, trying to hold in the happy bubbles of laughter as his eyes roam around the room. Soon he gathers the courage and pushes off the door to explore. Everything was meticulous, a place for everything and everything in its place. The only oddity was the haphazard way the bed was made. His fingers twitched, wanting to properly make and tuck the covers, he could even fluff Vi’s pillows!

Sighing sadly, he decides against it. No need to make Vi worried about someone weird being in his room without his knowledge…

Instead, he walks around, stopping at the vanity, and allowing himself a single spray of a perfume bottle’s bulb. Fingers ghosting over the color-coded lipsticks in their custom-made container, fighting the urge to use one…Vi wouldn’t notice, right? No…No, he couldn’t. Vi cared so much about his makeup, Neige couldn’t mess with something so precious to his idol.

He walks over to the bright red exercise ball, a smile on his face as he entertains the idea of bouncing on it for a few minutes. Instead, his eyes catch a semi-hidden hamper tucked into the corner. Was…oh by the seven. Was that Vi’s dirty clothes hamper?

Neige stood frozen, nails picking at his cuticles and threatening to break the skin (Don’t bleed here, do NOT bleed here). He looks from the corner of his eye, a bead of sweat threatening to slide down his face. The door was closed, he was all alone in the room with no way of telling when Vi would come back. He bites his lip, stepping closer to the basket as a smile breaks across his reddening face. He could…just for a little while…

Before he knew what came over himself, Neige had his head buried in the hamper, inhaling deep with gasping breaths. Hands braced so tightly on the edges he feared he’d actually break the material under his grip. He pulls his head out, tilting it back with a wide smile on his face as he pants, a manic laugh bubbles out of his lips.

Crunch

Neige freezes, eyes dropping back to the hamper in fear he actually snapped something. The sound happens again, from the door-

He nearly falls from how fast he turned, looking to the open door to see a boy with soft purple hair standing there. He had a nonchalant look on his face, one hand inside an oversized black hoodie with the words ‘TRACK’ printed across the front and the other holding a bright red apple with a few bites taken out of it. Blue eyes met blue and Neige had the brains to try to start an apology. Something to gain enough goodwill to explain…what he was doing, “U-um-” Oh sevens, Neige knew this boy. This was one of Vi’s friends from the VDC! He’d tell!

Epel just shakes his head slowly, his hand reaching out of his hoodie to grab the door handle, “Don’t even wanna know... Whatever the two of y’all are doing, just keep the damn door closed.”

And like that, he was gone. The door closed behind him and it was almost possible to imagine he was never even there. Neige let out a heavy sigh and felt his entire body relax, Epel didn’t seem to recognize him. He was also painfully uncaring of seeing who could only be a stranger in his dorm leader’s room huffing his dirty laundry. Well at least he left…the two…

His heart rate picks up again once he realized what Epel had said. He only needed to turn his head in a quarter turn before he saw who else Epel was talking about. There on the bed, like he was always meant to be there, was Rook Hunt. He sat on the messily made bed in a dull purple and grey plaid flannel, dark grey pants with a strap around one thigh, and mud-stained boots. Short locks managed to be pulled into a small, tight ponytail. One hand resting against his propped-up arm and the other holding an arrow delicately, a bow slung over his shoulder. Neige couldn’t even shake, he felt his blood freeze as he looked in bright green eyes.

Rook tilts his head as he taps the arrow against his crossed leg, “Don’t mind me Roi de Neige. You’ve truly been a lovely hunt for me all day~.”

For a split second, Neige let his eyes dart to the closed door then to the window before snapping back to Rook, “I-I was just-!”

“Shhhh.” Rook stands from the bed, walking closer and Neige realizes with terror the strap around his thigh was holding a knife. The blonde leans down to softly tap the tip of the arrow to Neige’s nose, “Run.”

“W-wha-?”

“Run.”

It was dark when Vil woke up, humming at feeling a heavy hand shaking his shoulder lightly. Blinking awake he sees Rook standing over him with a calm smile, his ponytail just barely contained by an elastic band, “Mon roi, It’s getting late. We should get you some dinner and then a proper bed.”

Vil sits up, stretching his arms and looking around the room. Next to him was Yuu, slumped against his side and sleeping peacefully, the bowl of popcorn knocked to the ground with a few kernels on the carpet. He clicked his tongue softly, did he have time to clean that up?

Rook didn’t give him the chance to choose, pulling him from the couch and steadying his still sleepy body easily. Once Vil was stable, Rook moved to place Yuu into a more comfortable position. Vil stifles a yawn, grabbing the blanket from the back of the couch and resting it over them. He smoothes down their hair, smiling when Rook puts an also sleeping Grim closer to the prefect, both softly cooing seeing the first year instantly grip the cat monster closer.

“Alright, back to the dorm, Rook.”

“Oui!”

Vil barely hisses a ‘shh’ before shoving Rook into the hallway, slipping out after locking the front door behind them. Walking back, Vil huffs and runs his hands through his hair, pulling it free from his ponytail, “So…Did you have a nice day?” He really hoped he didn’t.

“Oui! It was so wonderful. I got to shadow mon Roi de Neige all day! Such a thrilling hunt to remain outside of his eyes until I chose to pounce. It’s why I was so late retrieving you mon Roi”

Son of a- “Great, so happy your day was so fun Rook-”

Vil stumbles, feeling Rook suddenly pressed right against him with an arm wrapping around his waist. A teasing smile on his lips as a hand reaches up to tug at an edge of the yellow hoodie he was wearing.

“It has only become more magnifique seeing you’re fond of my old Savanaclaw hoodie mon chou~. I had always feared you simply threw it out! But to know you kept and made it your own has filled me with such joy!”

“...” Vil sighs, looking away from Rook, ignoring the laugh he lets out, no doubt seeing the soft blush on his cheeks, “It was all I had on short notice…”

[goldenmagnolias]

lost in the labyrinth of my mind

pairing: OC High Lord of Dusk x Archeron!Sister

summary: Reverie Archeron has always been different. Different in a good or bad way depends on who you asked. Now a High Fae, and with another war approaching she tries to be as helpful as she can around Velaris and with her baby nephew, but at a High Lord meeting, the countless dreams she has as a child and the feelings that are not quite hers suddenly make sense and things become something that she never could have seen coming.

masterlist / ao3

CHAPTER XIV: LULLABIES OF PAST AND FUTURE

She has no words to describe how beautiful the court looks. She has no idea how to say it, so she settles with stating the obvious.

“It’s breathtaking.” She says eyes tracing everything that she can, hands resting on the stone railing of the balcony, tracing the patterns carved into it.

“Yes, it is,” Ophiuchus's voice reaches her ears, “although I might be biased in saying so.”

“I do not believe it’s bias, merely a truth,” Reverie comments lightly before turning her head, and finding Ophiuchus already looking at her.

“Euryphaessa is the biggest city of Dusk. We have some smaller villages but most of the population is here.”

“Considering it seems to sprawl beyond where the eye can see I believe you,” Reverie says softly, eyes tracking how there are what looks like more quiet neighborhoods and more spaced out houses, by the outline of the city.

Another thing she hadn’t quite get used to, Fae senses, how overwhelming they can be sometimes.

“With the dome, my grandparents found it was a better outcome. We had the sea for resources, the countryside for crops and planting.” He explains. “They practically redid the whole city.”

“They sound like great rulers,” Reverie says quietly.

“Beloved too, very much so,” Ophiuchus comments with a bittersweet smile. “Both geniuses in their own way, they balanced each other almost perfectly.”

Reverie nods, eyes moving once again through the city, the wind blows again, and oddly it almost seems like a hug.

They silently watch for a while, she’s thoroughly enchanted by the view, even as a slight fog begins to appear and slowly the bustling sounds fall quieter. Slowly she begins to wonder if he’s bored, he probably has seen this view a thousand times over, it’s his city after all. Another realization follows, striking her like lightning. This is probably his bedroom… she feels her heart slowly picking up its pace. But she keeps her eyes on the city as she thinks.

Overthinks, if she’s being completely honest with herself.


Were those empty promises? What does he expect from her and how soon?

He’s a high lord, he probably wants children to keep his line. He’s also a male and well… technically he doesn’t owe her love. Mates even mates sometimes don’t hold love between them.

Does he have lovers? Ones he holds dear to his heart?

He’s way older than you, Reverie. Of course, he had lovers.

Had and has are different. One is one thing, the other is totally different. And-

She feels a hand being placed over hers, fingers brushing against her knuckles.

“What troubles you?” His voice is kind, as kind as it was when he first spoke to her. “You seem more lost in your head than watching for the last couple of minutes.”

“I-“ she mumbles, nervously, “forgive me.”

“I’m not reprimanding you, nor am I mad. Just wondering, you don’t have to share if you don’t wish to.” He says taking her hand in his now, his body fully turned towards her, arm keeping his weight by the railing of the balcony as he leans over it, his hand holding her hand.

“Um… this is your room,” she comments quietly, trying to keep her blush under her cheek, and feeling that she’s failing terribly.

“I- yes?” He asks with a small frown, “I figured it was better than having to walk the whole way up here. You seemed cold.”

Reverie can’t help but look surprised, “I was…”

“I’m missing something here.” He admits that he’s confused about what is troubling her.

“No. I just. I was human before…” She says quietly, “it wasn’t…I know we are mates but it wasn’t proper for me to be in a men- male room.”

“Are you uncomfortable?” Ophiuchus asks, tone more serious, “I will arrange you a room for yourself only, in a heartbeat if you are.”

“I- no,” Reverie mumbles quietly because she isn’t. She feels safe, even though she’s reluctant and half terrified if she’s honest. What she does know is that she doesn’t want to be away from him.

“Okay.” Ophiuchus says, “Then what troubles you?”

“Do you have any lovers?” Reverie splutters out before she lets her nerves get to her.

Ophiuchus's whole face changes into realization, and he looks at her, almost as if he can see her very soul.

Reverie nods is now stressing her lower lip with her teeth, worry heightening.

He doesn’t seem mad at least. He doesn’t seem angry.

Ophiuchus moves, and he’s standing to his full height, towering over her. He brings her hand to his lips, brushing against her knuckles.

“I do not,” Ophiuchus says, “I haven’t for a very long time now. Since I began dreaming of a female whose laughter sounded like pure joy and whose eyes looked like the early morning sun.”

Reverie feels her face burning, and it doesn’t help that Ophiuchus’ hands move to cup her face, delicately, almost as if she’s made of something precious.

“I mentioned it before non directly but… I’m a patient male, Reverie. We are to do this at your pace. We have long lives, immortality, and all. I’ve waited for you for sometime and I do not mind waiting until you’re comfortable. I want to know you thoroughly, any and everything you wish to share with me.”

Reverie nods at his words, she has no idea how to reply to that.

He gives her a small smile before he leans. Lips pressed against her forehead and Reverie’s lips parted and her eyes widened slightly.

“And if you’re not okay with sharing this room with me, I mean it. I don’t mind arranging one for you.”

Reverie shakes her head, “no… I- it’s okay. I’m just not used to sharing a bed with a male.”

Ophiuchus barely manages to hold back the pure male growl that threatens to leave him, her words delight him in a way. Part of him knows he had no claim over her, but the part of him, the more Feral Fae part, the one that the bond seems to have awakened into something even more possessive, is ever so delighted.

“Well, be well known I intend to be a gentleman,” Ophiuchus says, letting go of her face, “and the bed is huge. You don’t need to be near me if you don’t wish to.”

Reverie shakes her head slightly, “It’s okay,” I like being near you, she adds in her head.

Ophiuchus nods, that small smile appearing on his lips again, “I would offer you a tour of the court but I do believe it’s better done in the morning, after some rest. It has been a rather long day.”

Reverie nods, she woke up today in her bedroom in her sister’s house in Velaris at the Heart of the Night Court. Now she’s in her mate’s bedroom, at the not even known Dusk Court. A court he’s the High Lord of.

“Knowing Elia and Daphne, they probably have sent a plethora of clothes to my closet, until your things arrive and until we go into town tomorrow so you can buy whatever you wish,” Ophiuchus says.

“Oh there’s no need-“

“Yes, there is. The climate here is different than at night. And I don’t wish for you to simply spend your time in borrowed clothes that do not fit your taste.” Ophiuchus, tilts his head slightly, letting out a melodramatic sigh, “The girls would’ve my head, and so would my cousin. You cherish the moments you still have without knowing the nuisance.”

Reverie can’t help the slight giggle that leaves her.

“You laugh now, wait until you meet him, aggravating doesn’t even cover it.” Ophiuchus’ says, “but he’s family. And very much more like an older brother. He’ll be delighted to meet you.”

Reverie smiles at the words.

….

Taglist: @imma-too-many-fandoms @shadowcrowsworld

[bebepac]

Six Sentence Sunday 06.11.23 / Mood Music Monday

It is what it is, and sometimes you just have to walk away and hope for the best.  I’ve been so busy and it’s been very difficult to write, even though I have a nice little spot for it now that I created.  I have more items coming in on Tuesday to make it the perfect writing space / office space.  I’m really trying to upper level adult here, save some money, pay down some things, and next year, take that Greece Trip I that I couldn’t in 2020  when it got cancelled due to Covid, The one I imagined in the epic birthday Fic  Greek Meat.  

Tags have been beyond crazy  so if you missed anything I’ve written in the past few weeks here it is: 

The Moments In Between (Riley x Drake) 

The Rotten Apple 🍎:  The Last Part

Original Post: 6/11/23 at 8:47PM EST.

Chapter 5: Moonlight Rendevous The Book:  TRR (no royals) The Series:  The Blue Honey Cafe The pairings: TRR MC is single Status:  Still in the writing process / almost complete!

Mason was chivalrous, a complete southern gentleman.  He had not only opened the door on her own vehicle, he had waited for her to get in and gently close the door behind her.  When they made it to Wheelz,  Mason jumped out of the vehicle like a rocket, as soon as it was parked, opening the door for her once more.  

“Will you at least let me pay for the skate rental?”

“No, it’s the least I can do for your being kind enough to take me home tonight.”  

“I’m not heartless, I wouldn’t leave you stranded like that.”

“It’s the south,  I was far from stranded. But I’m glad you decided to indulge your blooming southern charm to help me out. Come on, let’s see what you’ve got out there on the rink.”  

It quickly turned into healthy competition and showboating between the two as they skated around the rink.

“Not bad New York.  Not bad at all.”   Mason laid on a thickly horrible new york accent.

“Likewise North Cakalacky.”  Riley said with an even worse southern accent.

The last skate turned out to be a couple’s skate.  The music was slow, and had a romantic feel. She found herself leaning closer into Mason, who had a boyish grin on his face, and he in turn pulled her closer to him too, his hand gripping hers tighter.

Driving back neither said a word, lost in their own thoughts.  When they pulled to a stop at Mason’s apartment, Riley was the first to speak.  

“I really enjoyed spending this time with you Mason.  I feel like we got a chance to get to know each other a little bit better, and we’re both a little competitive apparently.”  

Mason laughed.   “Right?!?!?! Nothing like some good healthy competition to get the blood pumping. But seriously Riley,  I had a great time with you too.”

He paused for a moment.  

“You know Riley, tonight doesn’t have to end  right now if you don’t want it to.”

Riley’s eyes met Mason’s.  “Are you asking me up to your place?”  

“I am, It’s your choice.  I promise to be the perfect gentleman.”  

“What if I don’t want you to be, Mason?”  

Mood Music Monday Submission The Final Chaper:  The Wedding Series:  The Rotten Apple🍎 The Book:  TRH and beyond Pairings:  Eleanor x Nico  (Eleanor x M!OC) Song Inspiraton (2 of 2)  Favorite Song by Toosii

“Eleanor and Nicolas! Stop with the kissy face already! Acting like there isn’t a wedding today! You come with me! And you! Put on a damn shirt! She’s already pregnant!”

Elle burst out laughing.

“Mama! Seriously!!”

“Yes I’m serious, you put on some damn clothes!”  

Mama K was brutally honest and very hilarious. Once back in the room with Mama K, she looked at Elle in silence for a moment.  “I presume you two are alright.”  

“Better than ever.”  

“Then let's get you dressed.”

“Thank you Mama.  You have no idea how much this means to me.”  

“Yes I do Eleanor, because you have told me a thousand times already.  You are loved immeasurably today, and always by me.  You are my daughter, and you make my son incredibly happy.  And after today, all of us will finally be family by law, but we’ve always been family in the eyes of God.”

There was a soft knock to the door.  

“It better not be Nico trying to sneak over here.” Mama K opened the door and smiled quickly ushering her into the room.

“You have a guest Elle.”  

“I hope I'm not too late.”

“LIBBY!”

“Great you’re not dressed yet,  I thought maybe I could help too?  And I have a gift for you. Something old and borrowed. Mama K said she already handled the something blue.”  

“Libby… I can't wear that.  It’s Mother’s.”  

“She always said she wanted her daughters to wear this on their weddings.  You’re getting married.”

Elle shook her head.  “She wouldn’t want me…. She didn’t want me….”  

“Wear it Elle.  It’s a piece of your mother, even though she couldn’t be here with you. I know this is not how you wanted things to be, but you are surrounded by the people who love you, just like Nico said. We love you Elle.”  

Today, with the help of her sister, and “Mother,” she was putting on a dress, unlike any other dress.   

A dress in  a style she never thought she would ever want to wear again, a dress she thought was incredibly beautiful, that would in addition to the vows, give her a new life.She was leaving this room Eleanor Rys, but by the end of the day she would be Eleanor Karahalios,  Wife of Nicolas, mother of Eliana, and the little one growing in her belly at that moment. It’s finally time for the best part.

“I feel beautiful.”  

“You look beautiful.”  

“It’s really happening,  I’m getting married today.”  

[grapecaseschoices]

As many as you like of the following: Band name, Training, Performance, Tattoo, and Development, please? One for each of your Infamous MCs? I could not decide who to send which to ahhhhhh but I’m ready to eat >:)

LMAO. I read this wrong and I did all of this for Ori. And was prepared to do all of this for all of them but it got long.

So, just have Ori for now. I guess later I'll answer this as you had originally requested wertrew <3 sorry!!

Band name: How did they and the others come up with the band name? Has the name changed since it was founded?

Seven figured the best way to lure Ori into a band and past their insecurities is to make it gym related. Like finding an abandoned cat under a dumpster. Pspspsp.

Half joking. A theme was noticed lol in all of Ori's suggestions. And they were cool with rolling with it. He was very excited when they did. Their original name was 'Leg Days'.

Training: How did they learn to sing? Have they had any formal training? How do they continue to maintain and develop their singing voice?

Ori's parents are trash. And he spent a lot of time growing up with his grandparents. They both can sing very well. His grandmother did choir well into college but his grandfather is completely untrained (or as far as Ori knows). His nana taught him some stuff. And when she died, a way of bonding with his gruff grandfather was aimlessly practicing those stuff while they worked on projects.

I'm sure Orion has sent Ori more formal videos, and Ori sometimes watches them to please Orion. But he's not that into them. His nana's ways are tried and true.

Performance: What are they thinking and feeling while they’re performing? How do they act on stage?

What are they thinking? 'Don't throw up. Don't throw up. Don't throw up.' I guess it could be said that Ori still has a flavor of stage fright. But he loves sharing the moment with his friends -- so he focuses on that.

He burns off the nerves by being a clown. Not literally. He's definitely jumping up and down, engaging his fellow bandmates, feeding off the crowd and doing his best to return the appreciation that they give out. Though, he WOULD like to be a clown on stage for real (one day. ONE DAY! He's gonna juggle. And not even Orion will stop him. Well, maybe.)

Tattoo: Did they keep the tattoo with Seven’s initials? Why/why not? What was that decision/execution process like? (Bonus: What do they think of Seven keeping their tattoo?)

It was quite simple. Ori is quite simple. There was no deep decisioning or weighing. Seven is his best friend and she will always be his best friend. He will always love her, that's it. (That's a touch more complicated -- they're not sure. They're hopeful, but given their luck in life and how Seven has been acting, maybe Seven forgot to take it off [ha, Seven?] Or wants to hurt them.)

Development: Ori is an oc I created for an RP that I was in but I didn't get to play (if you wanna creep his app and og pinboard <3). I was a kick, and sorta still am, to play a character type/personality I haven't before/in a while. Gymbro who is "simple"/straightforward and is treated as a failure/sees himself as one yet who is still unrelentingly kind cropped up. I was also really inspired by the AJR song 100 Bad Days, that I had been playing on loop back then.

Since I've never played Ori before, he's still a work in project. One thing I'm looking forward in developing is how honest yet stalwart he is. He's a mess but he's a lot more steady than he gives himself credit -- or maybe responsible is the better word. It really cropped up in that moment he gestured for Gigi (HIS HERO!!!) to face forward while annoucements were being. It will be interesting to see that grow and be pushed against when faced with characters like Gigi, Blake, and Seven's Rage (which, yes is it's own character)

Lala

Bethany Josnel

Alana

[dakotakazansky]

Ghost • Twenty One

Previous | Master List | Next

Warnings: 18+, Fluff, Angst, lots of Dumb Bitch Juice, Some Smut Pairings: Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin x OC & Javy ‘Coyote’ Machado x OC Word Count: 4,922

Kota Ten Weeks Later

It was officially our 12th week of Top Gun, and two days before Christmas Eve, but even like school as kids, or like in the Academy, they gave us the next week and a half off for Christmas and New Years. I was excited to have this week and a half off to be able to spend with loved ones. I was pretty much extremely exhausted after each day at this point. Training hops, and classroom time were getting more and more intense as we neared the end of our time at Top Gun. 

Our current rankings of our Top Gun class proved our little friend group was in it to win it. I honestly felt a lot of imposter syndrome. On one hand I knew I had what it took, to be first in the class like I'm currently sitting with Tate, but at the same time, I could never doubt the fact of who my family is, whether blood or not. I'm far too close with so many higher ups in the Navy that even I doubt myself at this point. I also felt bad because I know that it's always been Jake's dream to have his name on the Top Gun board, but it's also Tate's dream, and who am I to deny her that. It really weighs heavy on me sometimes. 

It's Friday night, and as per usual our little friend group is meeting up at the Hard Deck for drinks and more fun. Jake and I had made the drive over to Tate and Javy's place in his truck, as all of us had decided to go together tonight. The four of us had waltzed our way into the Navy themed establishment the same as we had done every week. I do a little two finger Salute to Penny as we had walked by to claim our spot, with a few other Navy personnel and aviators, by the pool table and darts board. We pulled about 3 tables together to make our usual spot. "I'll be right back, I'm going to grab our first round of drinks from Penny!" I say running off to the crowded bar. 

"Hey Kota!" Penny hollers over the music and chatter at the bar, while she finishes serving the customers that were there before I was. "Hey Pen!" I holler back and wait my turn. She serves 3 people their choice of beers or mixed drinks, before it's my turn. "The usual Kota?" she asks. I nod, "Yes please! Hey, did Ice invite you to our Family Christmas Dinner?" I questioned her. She grabs our first round of beers and slides the glass bottles across the bar to me, "He sure did, got the invite this morning actually." I grab my beer, taking a swig out of the bottle before wrapping a small bar napkin around it so I don't hand it off to one of the others accidentally. 

"Are you going to invite the group there?" Penny asks, nodding her head towards Jake and Javy acting like fools, and Tate laughing at the both of them. "Actually yeah, for once I do plan on inviting those 3. It's kinda nice having people to invite on my own for a change." I chuckle lightly looking back over towards my group of goofy friends. "How much for the beers Pen?" She just shakes her head no to me, "They're on the house tonight dear. Go. Go have fun!" She nods her head towards the group again. "Thanks Penny!" I say grabbing our beers, and walking back over to the group. I set them down lightly on the table, before handing them all out minus mine, which is still wrapped in the napkin. 

"What's going on over here?" I question referring to the goofiness that was transpiring just moments ago. "Just the boys being boys, as per usual!" Tate says cheerily. "Hey so uh, before we get too rowdy, or too invested in pool and darts tonight I wanted to ask you guys something." I say a little nervously. "What's up little buddy?" Javy asks, and I break a smile at the nickname. "That nickname is never going away huh Goliath?" I say, picking back up the nickname for Javy who towers like a whole foot taller than me. He laughs, and I shake my head, "Anyways, my family always hosts a huge Christmas party. Everyone that is family or cherished members of our lives gets invited, and well, I wanted to invite you 3, because you all mean the world to me." 

I'm met with a chorus of, "We'd be honored to." I smile happily at my little found family. "I can't wait for this party, and for you guys to meet everyone!" I say significantly more excited now. "Everyone is hopefully going to be there, like all of Ice's and Mav's Top Gun buddies, and some extended family, I'm hoping Bradley will be able to make it too, I'd love for you guys to meet him!" They all gave me a shocked look when I mentioned all the different higher up Navy buddies that might be in attendance. 

The rest of the night goes as per usual until about the last hour we are there. Jake chatted with Penny for a moment, before gathering our slightly tipsy little group around the piano of the Hard Deck. "Oh I see what you're doing Seresin!" I say catching on to what he's planning. I had told him the story of Mav, Bradley, and I gathering around this very piano when I was younger. I take my seat on the piano bench and play a few rifts to get the feel of it, while Jake saunters off to the jukebox, to unplug it from the wall. I look over to Penny at the bar, who just raises a beer in my direction, and I nod back to her. 

Jake pulls the plug and we are met with a bunch of boos and groans now that the music has cut off. I play one more little rift before starting into Jerry Lee Lewis'  - Great Balls of Fire. What I hadn't known before, was Bradley had gotten the invite from Ice as well, and was back in town, and just so happened to make his way into the hard Deck as I began playing rifts.

—

You shake my nerves and you rattle my brain Too much love drives a man insane You broke my will but what a thrill Goodness gracious, great balls of fire

I laughed at love 'cause I thought it was funny You came along and you moved me, honey I've changed my mind, this love is fine Goodness gracious, great balls of fire

—

As I start the song, and am too focused on the piano, crowd, and my friends I fail to see Bradley snap his head in my direction as I play the song, that takes not only myself, but him as well back to our childhood.

—

Kiss me, baby Mmmh, feels good Hold me, baby Well, I'm off to love you like a lover should Oh, you're fine, so kind Got to tell this world that you're mine, mine, mine, mine

I chew my nails and I twiddle my thumbs I'm real nervous, but it sure is fun Come on, baby, you're driving me crazy Goodness gracious, great balls of fire

—

Jake kisses my temple as I sing the line "Kiss me, baby". and by the time I'm down the song to the line "Got to tell this world that you're mine, mine, mine, mine!" Jake is almost screaming the lyrics at the top of his lungs making me blush instantly. Everyone but Bradley yells in unison, "Goodness gracious, great balls of fire!" As I finish the song, Bradley downs his drink, with an annoyed look on his face, as he watches Jake kiss my temple. He orders another drink sticking around for one more song, which I play You've Lost That Lovin' Feelin' - The Righteous Brothers. Once the song ends he leaves, without me spotting him at all. 

I take a huge swig out of my beer while the crowd cheers and hollers enjoying the musical performance I put on for the bar tonight. I finished off my musical serenade with the same song I had played and sung for Jake on the beach during our picnic date, Lay It Down - ILLENIUM, Krewella & SLANDER. The crowd once again erupts into cheers and hollers as I bow before hopping off the same platform that the piano was up on. I get some pats on the back as I walk towards the Jukebox to plug it back in for the bar patrons. I pick a random song, before my small group of friends and I walk back towards our spot by the pool table.

—

Christmas Eve

"Jake, C'mon we're going to be late, and we still need to pick up Tate and Javy!" I yell, while waiting by the front door with the armful of gifts for my family and friends. Jake comes out of our room dressed in a button down, his jeans, and his Stetson. "Now you know I told you to dress comfy, you don't need to impress my family, they already love you, maybe even more than they love me." I say laughing. "Now we both know that isn't true, they still love you more." he replies. "But... while your pretty little hands are full—" he says before pinning me against the door, and kissing me with a needy passion. 

When we split apart I cock my eyebrow up at him. "Seresin! Truck! Now! Please!" I say dramatically with desperation. He chuckles, taking the gifts from me, and walking them out to the truck, as I lock up the house. We picked up Javy and Tate, and made our way over to my parents house for the smaller Christmas Eve Party. 

As we all approach the door, I can already hear the laughter of my younger cousins. I knock on the door before opening it. I call out, "Hey we're here!" I hear my mother call out, "Welcome in Kota! We're just in the living room!" I usher Jake, Javy and Tate in and shut the door behind us before leading them into the living room. I stop in my tracks, when I notice a familiar figure in the room. "Holy Shit, Bradshaw is that you?!" I say, shocked to see Bradley sitting in the living room with my family. 

"Language!" I hear my elementary aged cousin Morgann yell at me. I bend down to give her a hug, "I'm sorry Momo, I'll watch the language." She hugs me back laughing. That precious little child-like laugh. Bradley slowly walks up to me, and my little group of friends. I stood again, frozen in front of him, taking in the fact he's here. "Kota, you look good," he says sheepishly. I take a few more steps towards him, before wrapping my arms around his waist, my face burying into his chest. "You're actually here." I say, whispering just loud enough for him to hear. "I am, and I'm sorry I've not kept in touch with you." he whispers back to me, hugging me back before we release each other. 

"Bradley, this is Tate, My WSO." I say gesturing to Tate before gesturing to Javy, "Javy, Tate's boyfriend, and a friend of mine from the academy." Jake sets the presents down under the tree before approaching and wraps an arm around my shoulder, "And this is Jake, my boyfriend. Jake, Javy, Tate, this is Bradley, my childhood best friend." They all exchange pleasantries and hand shakes, before I introduce Javy and Tate to my mother Sarah. I notice a small expression of hurt on Bradley's face when I mentioned boyfriend, but I don't bring it up, not wanting to sour the mood of the holiday. 

We all eat a small Christmas eve dinner, before we tuck Morgann into bed, telling her that if she doesn't get to sleep, then Santa won't be able to come to drop off presents to her. It took her no time to climb into her bed for the night, and cuddle up for sleep. Like every year, I read her the 'Twas the Night before Christmas pop up book. She was sound asleep before I had even finished the book. I place the book on the shelf and walk out to the living room again, where Ice and Sarah have matching pjs, and a gift bag for everyone in attendance. 

One of our family traditions is that we all get a set of matching pajamas, and then we drink hot chocolate, sometimes spiked hot chocolate, and watch Christmas movies before we finish last minute present wrapping for the little kids that will be at the party tomorrow. After we all had changed into our matching pj's, Ice comes over with a phone in hand, and snaps a photo of Jake, Javy, Tate, Bradley and I all together on the couch watching The Grinch.

I look around at our little group, "We like to give our gifts to each other on Christmas Eve, so that tomorrow we can focus on all of the younger kids." I say before getting up to grab my gift for Jake, and Tate. "I uh, didn't know you were going to be here Bradley, so I'm sorry." I say referring to the fact that I didn't have a gift for him. He smiles softly, "That's alright Kota, I mean Sarah and I planned for me being here as our gift to you." Bradley replies back, rubbing the back of his neck. 

I hand Jake a little box, and Tate a card, and wait impatiently as they both figure out who'd be opening their gift first, before eventually settling on Tate opening hers first. She hands me a small rectangular box, before opening her card. She reads over the card, before reading the little voucher that was inside said card, "I figured, to commemorate our time as Pilot and WSO together, we could celebrate with matching tattoos." Tate puts the voucher back in the card before setting it off to the side, and getting up to hug me tightly, "Oh Kota! That's such a thoughtful gift, I love it! Thank you!" 

Jake nods towards the box sitting in my lap, "You first Darlin'." I nod and open my present from Tate. It's a gorgeous little black dress. "Tate!" I exclaim. "It's gorgeous!" She laughs, "Now you have at least one fancy thing in your closet that you don't have to rent for a night!" I start to laugh with her remembering back to the parent trap first date with Jake. Jake then opens the little box I had given him while Javy and Tate exchange gifts with each other. 

Jake pulls out a small moon charm, with a K engraved into it. I whisper to him, "K for Kota, and because I'm the moon to your Sun." He holds it in his hand, admiring the beautiful charm, "Kota it's perfect!" He says back in a hushed tone. "I figured I could sew it onto your favorite jacket, or your Stetson." He smiles up at me, "I'd love that." He says beaming that million dollar pearly white smile to me, before he passes a super small box to me.

I open the box to reveal a jewelry box, and inside of that, I see a silver fighter jet pendant on a dainty silver chain. "Would you mind?" I say to Jake as I take the necklace out of the box, and hand it to him. "I'd love to, move your hair for me?" I nod, pulling my hair to the side so he could slip the silver chain around my neck, clasping it shut, as the fighter jet pendant now rests gently, about an inch below my collarbones. "Jake, Thank you, I love it!" I say before placing a kiss to his cheek. "You're Welcome Darlin'. Now you have a little piece of me wherever you go."

My mother clears her throat, before we all finish up with our gift exchanges. "We have one more gift for everyone." She says looking over to Ice before reaching out and taking his hand into hers. Every pair of eyes in the room remains focused on the two of them. At the same time, my mother and Ice hoarsely said, "I'm/He's cancer free." I fly up out of my seat and over to my parents, taking them both into a tight hug, "That's the best present of all!" I say as everyone else gathers around the 3 of us, all joining in to the group hug, although Bradley is sporting a puzzled look on his face, as he didn't know Ice had and now has beaten cancer. 

Everyone heads off to their respective guest rooms for the night. Javy and Tate together, Morgann's family in the room with her, and Bradley in his own room, that we had given him when he was younger, since he spent so much time between our house and Mav's growing up even after Carole passed away. Jake and I made our way to my room, but I paused outside of the door, "Hey why don't you go ahead and go on in, I'm going to go chat with Brad for a moment." Jake nods, "You sure you don't need me to come with you?" I shake my head no, "No I'll be alright, just going to catch up with him for a little bit, and explain the Ice situation to him." Jake nods, as he points into my room, "I'm just in here Darlin' in case you need me." I chuckle, "Thanks Jake, I'll be back in a few minutes."

I pad my way down the hallways towards Bradley's old room, and upon reaching the door I knock on it softly. I hear some movement, and a moment later, a shirtless Bradley is opening the door to see who is outside of it. "Hey." I say softly, "Can we talk a minute?" He nods, opening the door, more allowing me to walk as he closes the door behind me, before walking over to the bed, and sitting down. I sat down next to him.

"How long?" he asks, his voice cracking just ever so slightly, asking about Ice. "We found out, about a week and a half after I started Top Gun, and that was about, maybe 9 weeks ago. I tried to call you, but I guess you didn't have service." He nods, "Yeah, I just got back from a deployment about a week or two ago." He says quietly. I hugged him tightly, "I've missed you." I say barely audible but just enough for him. "When do you leave again?" He hugs me back resting his head on mine, "On the 27th, have to be back in Virgina on the 28th." I sigh. 

"So boyfriend, huh?" Bradley asks, and I pinch the bridge of my nose. "Yeah, I met him during the plebe summer when we were in the Academy." I chew on my lip, "He became one of my best friends, but he'd never replace you, but he did lessen the blow of not having you around. We just started dating about a month and a half ago. Before you ask because I know you will, yes he does make me happy." Bradley frowns hearing me speak about Jake filling the gap he left, thinking I'm not watching his reactions, but quickly swaps to a smile when he notices I'm looking at him again.

"I'm really happy for you Kota, and I'm glad you had him around for when I wasn't there. Hey uh, we should head to bed, maybe catch up more tomorrow?" I can tell he's upset, but I'm not going to push the issue, I nod, and make my way to the door leaving Bradley sitting on his bed. "Goodnight Brad, sleep well." I say before slipping out of the door, and back down to my room, to crawl into bed with Jake for the night. "How'd that go?" Jake asks once I'm settled into bed, and snuggled into his arms. 

"Oh it went as I expected. Not 1000% perfect, but he's happy for us, or so he says." Jake cocks his head to the side, "What do you mean?" I shrug a bit, "He doesn't think I saw him, but he looked sad when I answered his question about us, but immediately changed his expression when I really looked at him." Jake nods, "Well nothing we can do about it tonight, but I would love to get to know him more, I wanna know all the good stories about you, when you were younger!" I playfully smack his chest softly, "Oh can it you! Keep acting like that, and Santa's going to bring you some coal!" I say laughing, as we laid in bed, and eventually fell asleep for the night.

—

Christmas Morning

Jake is still sleeping pretty hard, but I give him a soft kiss on the cheek, before walking out to the kitchen to grab some coffee. "Good morning Koty." I hear my parents say, as I pad my way sleepily into the kitchen. I mumble back a "g'morning" to them. I grab my favorite mug, and a mug for Jake, before grabbing the coffee pot and pouring us both some coffee. I nearly jumped out of my skin feeling a huge palm rest itself on my shoulder, almost dropping both mugs of coffee. "Woah sorry Kota, forgot you were jumpy after you just woke up." I hear the sleep ridden voice of Bradley say to me. "Almost made me lose my coffee, and my favorite mug!" I say pinching my eyebrows together.  He just laughs at me, before grabbing his own mug and pouring himself his own coffee. I take that chance to swiftly make it back to my room, with Jake and I's coffees safely in hand.

Jake's awake, when I walk back into the room, softly kicking the door shut behind me. "Good morning Cowboy." I say while walking over to the bed and handing him the mug of coffee I got for him. "Good morning Darlin'." He replies back, voice filled with sleep and his southern accent coming out thicker. "Little Morgann is going to be awake soon, we should head out to the living room." He nods back to me, but not before grabbing the coffee out of my hand, setting it down on the nightstand and pulling me into his lap straddling him, my arms wrapped around his neck, pulling me into a needy kiss. 

We made our way with coffees in hand, to the living room plopping down on the couch. Tate sits at the arm end of the sectional couch, Javy to her left, then Jake. I'm tucked into Jake's left side, his left arm wrapped around my shoulder. Ice and Sarah are sitting on the loveseat next to the couch. Bradley saunters in with coffee in hand as well taking a seat next to me, and before we know it little Morgie is running in leaving her parents behind, screaming happily that Santa came as she spots the presents under the tree. 

Morgann spends the next hour ripping open her presents from everyone and Santa Claus. She was very excited to get a new squishmallow. I ended up getting her a little metal works model of an F-18 Super Hornet for her and I to build together later.

After Morgann finished opening all her gifts, she totes them all back to her room that she's staying in. Everyone else disperses to attend to our next little job of the day, my family and I get into the kitchen and start prepping the Christmas meal before the rest of the guests get here. Jake, Javy, Tate and Bradley all offer to help but Ice, Sarah and I decline their offer as they are guests today. We make a huge ham, some mashed potatoes, green beans, corn, some of mom's family's recipe of chicken noodles, rolls, and a roast. 

The food is almost done so I run off to get ready for the party, Jake on my heels in case I need help. I quickly shower, throw some dry shampoo in my hair before styling, and then I put on the gorgeous dress Tate bought me. I walk out of the bathroom holding the dress tightly to my chest. "Cowboy, could you zip me up?" He trails featherlight touches down my back before grabbing the zipper and slowly zipping me up, making sure to not catch my skin in the zipper. I turn around taking in his outfit. He's wearing his black Stetson, with a dark Navy blue button down shirt, a nice pair of dark wash jeans and his cowboy boots. "Cowboy you look—" I trail off taking in the handsome man in front of me, "—so incredibly handsome." 

—

A few hours in, and the party is well involved. Mav and Penny are here, as well as everyone from Ice's Top Gun class, and a few others he's met while stationed at other bases. I'm standing with Jake, Javy, Tate and Bradley while we talk to Slider, his family, and Sundown and Merlin's families. I lean over to Jake, whispering, "Hey I need a few minutes, gonna go grab some air outside." He nods, whispering back to me, "Do you need or want me to come with you?" I shake my head no, "No, I'll be fine, please enjoy the party, I'll only be gone a few minutes." He nods again, softly kissing the top of my head before I walk over to Ice and explain the same thing to him. 

I slip out the sliding glass door, and am immediately met with a small shiver as it's slightly colder in San Diego currently. I walk over to the fire pit, turning it on to warm up. About 5 minutes later I hear the door open and close, and before the person can get over to me I can already tell who it is. The wind blows wafting his musky cologne in my direction, and without looking up I call out, "Hey there Stud." I always imagined Bradley and I would've ended up like Carole and Nick. He approaches, saying, "Hey there Honey." 

He takes up the spot next to me, and I lean against him for the extra warmth. I look up at him sadly, and just above a whisper, my voice cracks, "You left, and then stopped talking to me." I feel his shoulders drop, "Honeybee I'm sorry, I never intended to stop talking to you, I just got through basic and then deployed almost immediately and by the time I wanted to reach out, it had been so long, I didn't know how to speak up." I sigh, "You know I almost gave up my dream, because I had lost contact with you?" He looked over to me saddened, "I found out after you went to the Academy, Ice called one day telling me about it." 

"So you and Jake huh?" I nod, "Yeah he makes me happy." I look over to the fire for a moment before looking back into those honey brown eyes, "I always pictured us together you know, thought we'd end up like your parents." He wraps an arm around me, "You know we still could?" I shake my head no, "No, I would never leave him for no reason, I can't do that Bradley." I turn off the fire pit wanting to get back inside to Jake, "We should head back inside, it's a little cold out here." I say getting up, leaving Bradley by the fire pit.

—

A few more hours later and the party is finally dying down. Jake, Javy, Tate and I go around saying our goodbyes. I give Bradley an extra long hug, "Please keep in touch Stud, I really do miss you, no matter how awkward it may feel." He nods, humming a mhmm to me, "I will Honey, I promise." 

We drop Tate and Javy off at their house, and before we pull out of their driveway, I reach over and pull Jake's cowboy hat off his head, plopping it down on mine while he's too busy to do anything about that. He stammers shocked about what just happened, "Uh Kota, you uh..." I chuckle at him with the biggest boost of confidence I could muster, and in a sultry voice I say back, "No I didn't know about the football Jersey rule," I pause a moment, "But I know all about the cowboy hat rule." He turns to look at me quickly, I throw him a wink, and I swear that man almost broke every traffic law in existence, to get us home fast enough to act on my new found confidence.

It took us no time to get in the door, his hat still sitting pretty atop of my head, he pulled me into another passionate, needy kiss, and I can feel just how needy he really is, as his body is pressed against mine. When we pull away, I breathlessly say, "Merry Christmas Cowboy." That was all he needed to hear, as clothing items were swiftly removed, each step of the way, as we made our way to the bedroom as quickly as possible. The need for each other was rapidly growing more and more desperate as we got closer to the bedroom. Safe to say, that was one rowdy Christmas night to remember.

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Embodiment of love

@pchberrytea tagged me!! And then my partner had to help me take it because I couldn't figure out how to do it well??? Its fun and cool they just do uquiz better.

I tag @maxiseden since I think this would be fun for your blorbos and @plasma-packin-mama cuz I love Delilah & Arcade and would love to see what they get!! And! Copying Tea here, if you want an excuse to be tagged for this then CONGRATS. It's you. You've been tagged. You're it.

Also, I guess some spoilers for pairings for my characters...?

💕 RULES: Take this quiz for your OC/ship.

Without further ado:

Amy/Butch

[ love is beautiful because it's built deliberately ] when casey mcquinston wrote "that's the choice. i love him, with all that, because of all that, on purpose. i love him on purpose" and when jenny slate tweeted "i just want someone to grab my little face and scream on purpose, on purpose i am going to care about you" and when jodi picoult wrote "after fifteen years, love isn't just a feeling. it's a choice" and when the good place said "if soulmates do exist, they're not found they're made"

Man this one HURTS. It hurts in the long term, and it hurts in the short term. They communicate terribly, they understand each other better than most people understand them, they argue a lot and also are the bestest friend the other has ever had. I've said this for a while, but if things had panned out differently these two would've been best friends all the way back in the vault. And this invokes all that for me, but also. In context of where they end up by the end of the story... It hurts so so so bad. They never stop choosing each other even long long after.

They're always touching each other, holding each other, putting their hands on the other. A punch, a hug, holding each other's face. Hands holding, Butch arm around Amy's shoulder, Amy always ready and willing to hold Butch when he needs it. The world is shitty, but they're together.

Sunshine/Half Pint

[ devotion: love, loyalty, or enthusiasm for a person, activity, or cause ] when ruth said to naomi "where you go, i will go, and where you stay, i will stay. your people will be my people, and your God my God" and when hozier sang "i'll be the dreadful need from the devotee that drove [orpheus] underground" and when deathcab for cutie sang "if there's no one beside you when your soul embarks, i will follow you into the dark"

So if Butch/Amy hollowed me out, this one knocks me in the teeth and guts me. YES. YES. THIS IS THEM. These courier dorks will follow each other to the very ends of earth, to hell and back again, will be by each other's side till the very end and beyond. They die by each other's side. Literally. It doesn't matter what happens this two are soulmates eternally devoted to each other.

They are "I love you in this life and when I'm someone else entirely" and "I love you when you burn down the world", "I love you when you're a monster", "we're monsters together".

Leo/MacCready/Hancock

[ love as gentleness after a lifetime of cruelty ] when ocean vuong said "sometimes being offered tenderness feels like the very proof that you've been ruined" and when pablo neruda said "like a jar you housed the infinite tenderness and the infinite oblivion shattered you like a jar" and when anais mitchell wrote "all i've ever known is how to hold my own, and now i wanna hold you, too”

crying, actually crying

This is the boys. This is the boys all the way. They're all so fucked up and hurt and love each other so much, and yeah they're TENDER. When I think of Leo/Hancock it's such gentle touches and adoring looks and holding each other gently. It's softly spoken words. It's staring into each others eyes. Mac/Leo is sharing the weight of a trauma, it's defending the other to the other, it's giggles and warmth by the fire as they help the other unwind. Hancock/Mac is camaraderie. It's being debaucherous fools who wind up holding each other. It's having their arms wrapped around each other and laughing.

Hopefully there will be a pt.2 with more members of the quartet (Sunshine/Half Pint/Deacon/Danse) (ik ik ik trust me it WILL work even if I forget why sometimes) (we've gone to crackship hell and we WILL radicalize Danse). Maybe for Mae/Takeshi? Maybe for Mae and someone else? A lot maybes.

[saiilorstars]

Ch.24:  A Flashback

Pairings: Barry Allen x OFC

Current Masterlist | Previous Story

Pronunciation of OC: Bell-en. The last syllable has an emphasis so it’s not pronounced like ‘Helen’ would be.

Taglist: @ocappreciationtag​​​ @arrthurpendragon​​​​​​​​​​ @anotherunreadblog​​​​​​​​​ @maaaaarveeeeel​​​​​​​​​ @stareyedplanet​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @foxesandmagic​​​​​​​​

[If you’d like to be part of this OC’s taglist, let me know!

You're suspended, indefinitely.

"I had a long talk with my editors about the article I published on my own without their approval and...that was last week," Belén crossed one leg over the other in her chair. She sat across her therapist, Dr. Baeva, and finished telling her everything that had happened as of late. It felt like an eternity since the last time Belén came by her therapist's office. But then again, a lot happened since then.

Dr. Baeva was a longtime confidant of Nina Clarke and she passed onto be Belén's as well, which was Belén really needed right now. She needed someone who would look at this situation without biases, and certainly somebody who wasn't going to give her the sorrowful look.

"And how have you taken that?" Dr. Baeva inquired.

Belén exhaled lightly. The smile tugging on her face gave off the feeling she wasn't that upset, at least not in the way someone in her position would naturally be.

"Honestly? I'm fine." Belén almost laughed each time she said it because sometimes even she couldn't quite believe it. "I know, I know, totally strange. You might think I'm lying — Barry thought that too. My Mom thinks that I'm secretly crying in the bathroom. I promise you that I'm not!"

It was true that Dr. Baeva was giving her the same look Veronica had when she first learned the news. But of course Dr. Baeva knew a lot of Belén's personal, deepest thoughts. It was harder convincing her than Veronica.

"I know that logically speaking, I should be upset. I'm suspended, without pay, and my future at CC Pictures is at stake...but I am okay," Belén uncrossed her legs and leaned forwards. "My conscience is clear. I know that publishing my article was the right thing to do. There's been such a good feedback from it. I don't know if the people who responded are metas in hiding or if they're just civilians, but it doesn't matter. People are reading it and they're spreading the word. Who ever needs help will finally have a way to get it. How could I feel bad about that?"

"Okay," Dr. Baeva nodded. "So let's go down this road. What would you do if your job is terminated at CC Pictures? Would you feel bad then?"

"Of course I'd be upset," Belén wouldn't even try denying that. "I have worked at CC Pictures for years now. I started as an intern when I was in college. It's the only reporter job I've ever had. If I do get fired, then yes...I would be upset. But that wouldn't make me regret publishing my article. I do stand by that. It's the only thing I'm certain about these days..."

Dr. Baeva sensed that the real reason behind this new appointment would start now so, as she always did, she guided Belén through the transition of topics. "Is there something you're not certain about?"

Belén's tongue played with the roof of her mouth for a few seconds before she finally nodded her head. "My doppelganger. I still haven't decided whether or not I want to help her. And I know how hypocritical that must sound considering what I just said before, but this is entirely different. This is a woman who has chosen to hurt and kill people because she likes it. I always thought of her the villain..."

"Has that changed now that you've discovered her real identity?"

Belén straightened in her chair and leaned her back against the cushion. "She's me but we are nothing alike. The only things we have in common is our devotion to beautiful, toxic plants and our love for the same man. And that's..." Belén's left hand raised to make a gesture but even that couldn't help her when she thought about Datura. "Being different is also something that gets me."

"How so?" asked Dr. Baeva.

"Because she's me but she...she made all the wrong choices because of the one good choice she made. I don't know what kind of life she had before being a meta except that she was married and supposedly happy...but what I do know is that she made the decision to save her husband's life and that was it. After that, she made the worst decisions until she became...Datura."

"And what is the question that you're trying to ask here?"

Belén would be more surprised how the woman knew what she wanted to ask if she hadn't known Baeva for a year now. With a humorless laugh, Belén answered, "If she started out like me, at what point did she stop being like me and the rest of our doppelgangers? Assuming that the others are not evil and I am actually not the runt of the group. Why would she become like this?"

"And have you also considered a way to find the answers?"

"Not yet. Things are so complicated. I mean, the only way to get answers is if..." Belén was about to laugh when the answer hit her straight in the face, "...I ask somebody who knows her."

"Do you actually have someone?" Dr. Baeva asked, genuinely curious now.

"Well, my first go-to would naturally be her husband but...he's a bit out of reach so...I could ask the next person who knows her best. Poison Ivy."

~0~

"I know how to learn a new way to get faster!" Barry announced that night when he and Belén were having dinner. They'd just finished their spaghetti and were clearing up the table to have dessert in the living room.

Belén had come back to the table with a bowl of chocolate amaretti cookies (Barry had declared them his favorite dessert and now they had to have a bowl every night). "Really? What'd you come up with?"

Barry licked his lips nervously, preparing himself for what was to come next...because he was pretty sure how Belén would react to his idea. "I need to see the old Wells, Thawne. I can time travel and just ask him as if I were the version of myself in that time. It's simple and quick!"

Belén had to slowly put the bowl of cookies on the table before she dropped it. Her eyes had widened to the size of dinner plates but as stunned as she was, the words were failing her.

"Belén...?" Barry was waiting for her reaction and watching her go silent only made him more anxious.

"...it's my fault," she suddenly said, almost laughing as if everything was just a joke. "I left you unsupervised." Barry's face fell flat as she turned away from him. "It's a stupid idea, Barry!" she marched over to him and turned him back around, ready to fight until they settled an agreement until Barry threw a very good point.

"Hey, you're the one who wants to talk to Poison Ivy!" Belén froze in her spot, eyes narrowing on him. Barry, however, would not back down. He understood her reaction, yes, but just like she felt like she needed to talk to Poison Ivy, he knew that he needed to talk to Thawne. "I don't want to argue," he said, raising his hands to show he wanted peace. Belén crossed her arms over her chest, huffing but giving him the floor to speak. "It's a crazy idea—" he winced when she scoffed, "—but it's the only chance I have. It pains me, believe me, that I have to go back and ask that man to help me."

Belén slowly sighed once she realized he was right. It had to be hard going back to Thawne, of all people, to ask for help. "It just scares me, alright? He's so dangerous. He killed your Mom, killed my Dad...he almost killed Cisco? He's hurt all of us! The idea of you going back there..."

"I know, I know," Barry moved over to her and hugged her. "I'll be careful, I promise...just like I hope you promise me that you'll be careful when you talk to Poison Ivy."

Belén pulled away and nodded her head. "She's not gonna get to me, I promise. I know what I want to ask her, what I want to talk about. Besides, she'll be behind the pipeline glass. You, on the other hand, are going to be face to face with Thawne. For the love of God, don't die on me."

"I can honestly say that I'll try my best."

"Good, because if you die...I'll kill you," she grabbed him by the lapels of his shirt and pulled him close for a kiss.

"...you taste like spaghetti," he murmured against her lips.

Belén let go of him and pushed him away. "Consider yourself single."

It was a struggle for Barry to contain his laughter when he went after her.

~ 0 ~

When Barry shared his idea with the rest of their friends, he was no stranger to unwelcoming responses. Harry made his stance known very clear and no matter what he was not going to be helping because it would simply be disastrous. Still, with Caitlin and Cisco it was another story. Although they were at first uneasy about the idea they gradually took to it and decided to help Barry. Secretly they thought he would go through with the plan with or without them. They figured it would be better and safer if they just helped.

So then they planned. And outlined. Everything.

The only one who couldn't give a proper opinion throughout the whole process was Shivhan because she had no idea what Thawne was capable of. She was more focused on Belén wanting to go talk to Poison Ivy. But she still helped in what she could.

"Man, I could have really used you guys during my finals," Belén was staring at the clear board filled with Hartley Rathaway's profile and the events that followed throughout the day Barry was meant to go back to.

"You were planning on time travelling too?" Cisco walked by with a marker twirling between his fingers.

"Ha, ha," Belén rolled her eyes.

"Okay," Cisco stopped by the second board they'd placed and began to plan out loud so that everyone was on the same page. "So Barry's gonna go back to the time when Wells was distracted by the return of the major jackass, Hartley Rathaway. This is the first time we found out Wells knew the accelerator might explode, and we were all angry with him, so anything that might seem odd about your—" he pointed at Barry, "—behavior Wells should attribute to that. Also remember: Do not underestimate Hartley. He almost killed you."

Caitlin emerged from one of the siderooms with a silver syringe in her hands. "This is a tranq dart that should knock 'old' you out for about six hours, which lines up perfectly for when you're going back, because not much was happening until Hartley attacked the Cleveland Dam that night, so that should give you time to learn what you need and return."

"Safely, I may add," Belén raised a finger.

"One more thing," Cisco said before Barry could open his mouth, "You cannot tell us the truth about Wells, no matter what. You must keep the timeline intact. It's gonna be hard if anything gets altered, so get what you need and come back, preferably to this moment, this exact time you're leaving, or else you might set off some kind of "12 Monkeys" time loop you'll never get out of. No pressure."

'Yeah," Barry scoffed, blinking a little too fast even for him.

"There is one more thing, um...that I'd like to point out," Belén raised a finger from her spot. "And this is totally just about us—" she motioned between them, "—but I just remembered that I wasn't really talking to you that day."

"What?" Barry frowned, immediately racking his mind for that specific memory.

"Man, what did you do that time to piss her off?" Shivhan thought she mumbled under her breath but Caitlin and Cisco chuckled at her while Barry mock-glared at her. "Sorry," she added, though she didn't look very apologetic as she sat back in her seat at the desk.

"This is right after I first saw Rayan, remember?" Belén pulled Barry's attention back. "Where he made me pick between you and him? And I chose you?"

"Riiiiight..." Barry cheekily smiled at her. "And you have no idea how much that means to me."

"Mhm," Belén had crossed her arms and was close to glaring.

"You might wanna go before she poisons you," Cisco clapped Barry on the shoulder. "Young Bells is gonna be a dream—"

"Hey!" went the woman in question.

Barry was quick to make his leave, but did plant a kiss of apology on Belén's lips on his way out. Down to the pipeline he went and did what he did best: run. He successfully opened up a time portal and was running as fast as he could until a strange, floating brown creature zoomed over his head and disoriented him enough so that he ended up coming out of the portal at the wrong time.

He had come early.

He saw Hartley standing against his younger self and Belén, Hartley going at it with his boring ole monologue. Barry remembered that at one point Hartley attacked them by surprise and so he waited for that moment. Sure enough, a couple seconds later, Hartley blasted both younger versions against a glass sign. It was perfect because Hartley was distracted and Belén was partially out cold enough that neither would notice the strange gust of wind from the speedster.

While his younger self did put up a fight, Barry put him down with Caitlin's tranquilizer and took his place without anyone ever noticing. And because he remembered how he had defeated Hartley the first time, it was an easy thing getting the guy too.

~ 0 ~

Hartley was glum and angry when he got put into the pipeline pods. Cisco was having the pipeline scan him for everything he had.

"Scanners picking up foreign metallic objects in your ears," Cisco looked over to Hartley suspiciously. "Take 'em out."

Hartley glowered. "I can't. I suffered head trauma when S.T.A.R. Labs exploded. My hearing was severely damaged. Without these, I am in pain you can only imagine."

Barry remembered just what those devices ended up doing the last time, and since he was in no mood to see one of his best friends and girlfriend (who wasn't technically his girlfriend at this point but anyways) be blasted, he spoke up. "Cisco, see if the devices in his ears are generating any low level electromagnetic pulses."

Cisco's eyes widened. "You want me to scan for E-bombs?"

"I just... I mean, don't you think that could've been what was interfering with the comms?"

Cisco found it strange but he went ahead with Barry's suggestion and was surprised to find that he was right. "Well, well, trying to go all "Mission: Impossible" on us? Use those things to bust out of here?"

Wells (or Thawne) came into the pipeline speaking words of Latin, never noticing the look he was getting from Barry. "Pump in some sound stimuli to counteract his tinnitus. Then we'll make some nonexplosive replacements for him." Hartley glared his way but Wells merely muttered a 'Deal with you later' and began to leave.

"Dr. Wells?" Barry went to catch up with him.

"That was quite an observation you had about Hartley in there, Mr. Allen," Wells remarked but Barry wasn't interested in getting compliments from him. Too bad he still had to play along.

"Yeah, it just seemed too easy taking him down, you know?"

"Mm-hmm, well, the likely reason for that is you're getting faster."

"Actually, I wanted to talk to you about that. It occurred to me that maybe we've been going about improving my speed the wrong way."

Wells was of course interested. "How so?"

As Barry began to explain, he drew Wells into the cortex, catching Caitlin and Belén in one of the side rooms with the latter getting her cuts healed. He pulled in one of the clear boards and wrote the same equations and expressions he had in HIS his time. "I've been learning different techniques involved in running, and I was thinking that there's just as much science involved in speed as anything physical or technical. I just can't figure out how to apply it to me when I run. Thought if anybody could help me, it'd be you."

Wells was of course taken aback by the problem Barry had put on the board. "This is quite the... speed equation you've concocted here, isn't it, Mr. Al?"

"Yeah, I've been doing a lot of reading in my downtime…"

"What on earth inspired you to adopt such a... what should we call this... unorthodox approach?"

Barry went with the old excuse. "I just know that I'm not the fastest man alive, and I need to be faster, a lot faster, if I'm ever gonna be able to take down the Man in Yellow. So what do you think? Can you help me?"

Wells moved up to the board and grabbed a marker. "Let me see what I can do."

Barry stepped back to allow Wells free reign on the board. He hoped it wouldn't take long. He hated to admit it but Thawne was incredibly intelligent.

"What's going on?" Caitlin asked when she and Belén walked out of the side room.

"Math," Belén answered and rubbed her head, though she winced when she did and so Caitlin pulled her hand. "Whatever, I'm gonna get to work, then."

"I'd rather you didn't," Caitlin walked over to the main desk. "You may have a concussion and I'd rather have you in observation. Besides, I already called in for you," she smiled so innocently that Belén found it impossible to get mad at.

"Fine," Belén raised her hands and simply came to take a seat beside Caitlin.

Barry found it incredibly hard to stay out of conversations he didn't need to be in at the moment. Timelines and whatnot. It just didn't help that at this point in time Belén was probably feeling guilty - because yes he was remembering it now - about not speaking to his other version and she was throwing occasional glances his way. He suddenly missed his version of a girlfriend.

~ 0 ~

Present Day

Poison Ivy had her arms crossed when her pod's wall slid open for her to see Belén on the other side. "Oh goodie, you're back. Am I to assume Barry's dead now? Is Datura wrecking havoc again?"

"You wish," Belén took pleasure seeing Poison Ivy's face drop with disappointment. "No, your little partner is still tucked away on Earth 2 with no way back."

"You think you're so smart," Poison Ivy remarked.

"Well, science may not be my thing but I am pretty good at other things so...yes."

"In a way, you almost are like Datura."

Belén tried not to look offended because she most certainly wasn't like her doppelganger. Instead, she wanted to follow the plan she made before coming down. "Listen, nobody is going to save Datura unless I tell them it's okay. Right now, I'm the one deciding her fate so you best play your nicest cards here or your friend will be dead."

Poison Ivy suddenly looked at her with a new light, like she was impressed. "Hm, maybe you are kind of like her. Definitely sounded like Datura."

"Her name is Belén. Why don't you call her that?"

Poison Ivy scoffed and planted her hands on either side of the walls. "Because that's not her. On my Earth, Belén Palayta was a scientist with divorced parents, a brother in jail and a cop for a sister who just wouldn't give her some space. She was overworked, underpaid, and underappreciated."

"I can believe all that accept the underappreciated part," Belén glowered. "I know family problems as much as the next person but I also know that she was married and that her husband loved her like there was no tomorrow. So you can come at me with all the horrible things she endured but you are not going to tell me that she was underappreciated."

"Look," Poison Ivy didn't look the last bothered, "I personally don't know what that marriage was and I never frankly cared. That's not Datura—"

"Yes it was, it still is...from what I heard." Belén smirked when Poison Ivy rolled her eyes almost like she was jealous. "Because see, at first I thought Datura was pure evil and while I'm still very convinced that she is evil, I realize that...maybe there's still parts of her that are just like me. The civilian side. Funny how she still carries that one—" Belén raised a finger in the air, "—lone datura flower behind her ear. I heard it's one of the last flowers her husband gave her before she had to run away."

"How did you know that?"

"My Barry heard it from her Barry. So, as far as I can tell, my doppelganger may have not had the best working life nor the family, but she had a good marriage. What turned her towards evil?" Poison Ivy crossed her arms, a defiant look on her face indicating she wouldn't be talking for free. Belén laughed, not the least surprised about it. "You're not getting out. And like I said, if you don't talk, I won't make a decision about Datura. You do remember she's on a literal clock, right? How much longer does she have?"

"She's not dying," Poison Ivy swore. "She'll come get me and then together we're going to kill you."

"Right, I've heard the story but...what if she doesn't? Or, what if it takes too long to open the portals again? By the time she gets here...there might not be enough to fight me."

"What do you want?" Poison Ivy finally snapped in frustration. "You want to chit-chat? Tell me the reasons why I shouldn't try to kill you the first chance I get? Or is this some type of torture?"

Belén drew in a deep breath and walked a couple steps forwards. "I don't like people dying on my watch. Even someone like Datura deserves a hearing, and since I can't reach her...you're the next best thing I have. I want to know how and why she became what she is."

"Oooh, you want to know your doppelganger. Makes sense. But there's not much to tell, least nothing else you don't know."

"There is, I know there is. So let's get started. If I feel generous after this, you might get to choose your lunch today."

~ 0 ~

Past, 2014.

Barry cursed his luck when the metahuman alert went off and prevented Thawne from getting started on the equation promising new speed.

"There's trouble at the CCPD," Caitlin read off the computers and looked up to Barry. "It'd be better if you go. Bells is still under observation."

Barry looked from Caitlin to the clear board, completely torn. "I'm sure they have it handled, right?"

Confusion dropped on Caitlin's face but what Thawne had was suspicion. "No," he said rather sharply. "You need to go. Run, Barry."

And because he had no option, Barry ran.

The station was being, indeed, attacked, but not by a metahuman...it was the same creature that had disoriented Barry on his way to the past. That wasn't what really got him, though, it was the fact he saw Eddie Thawne living and walking. Yes, of course it was obvious that being back in this point of time meant Eddie was living but Barry hadn't really thought about it until then.

~ 0 ~

Since the creature - that had still yet to be named - had sprouted in Barry's lab at the station, it was the prime area for investigation. It left a whole mess of destruction that no corner of the room escaped.

"There's no sign of it outside," Eddie came in and was oblivious to the stares Barry sneaked every now and then. "It just disappeared. Hey, Bar, any idea what that thing could be?"

At least there Barry couldn't lie. He really didn't know what that creature was and why it was coming after him, because he was sure the creature had been looking for him. "No, I don't know. Not yet. If I figure it out I'll let you know."

Eddie glumly looked around the room. "Things just keep getting more and more strange in this city. I'm gonna check in with Iris, let her know I'm okay."

"Great," and Barry quickly turned away before Eddie realized he'd been staring too long.

"Oh, sorry Belén!" Eddie's exclaim made Barry whirl around to see Eddie stepping back from Belén after presumably crashing into her. "I was on my way to see Iris-"

Belén had a cheery smile on that could have fooled anyone, including the Barry from that point of time, who didn't know about her predicament. "Don't worry about it, Eddie. I get it. Excited to talk to the girlfriend. Oh!" her two index fingers rose in the air when she remembered. "Um, actually, she's probably going to be really happy since I just got her into CC Picture News!"

"I have to go congratulate her!" Eddie laughed and hurried out of the lab.

Belén's cheeriness faded the further she got into the lab. "Wow, this place is just…"

"Mhm," Joe started to move around to leave as well. "Thank God I won't have to clean it up." He shot Barry a big smile that the speedster did not return.

"I mean totally...nice...looking…" Belén cleared her throat awkwardly when Joe finally left. "Cisco's calling the creature, um...Dementors?" she shook her head. "In my opinion, I think those are actually way creepier and scarier - though I guess I can't really say that since I haven't seen these creatures yet—"

"And you won't," Barry blurted quite determinedly, startling her. He put down the broken microscope on the table nearest to him and tried amending his statement so that it wouldn't make her uncomfortable. "I mean, we'll probably find it and stop it before it could hurt you or the others, you know...since Cait said you should be taking it easier right now."

Belén's hand touched her temple where she apparently was handling head injuries from Hartley's blow earlier in the day. "Honestly, I think Caitlin is overreacting. But, um...well, I'm glad you're talking to me again...even though I know I don't deserve it."

Barry quickly tried to remember how it was he acted in the last version of that day. Snarky. That was what came to mind. "Uuh…"

"I know I've been very, um, radical and...well, plain rude to you ever since Captain Cold attacked but I'd like to explain why…"

"Bells, we should do this later." Because as much as he would have liked to help relieve her guilt, Barry had to stop her because she was about to do it with the wrong him. If she confessed the reasons for her distance to him instead of his other version, then that Barry would never hear it and would continue to distance himself from Belén as well. All distance and no apologies meant no dating.

Barry wouldn't let that happen.

"I mean, there's a lot of things I need to do here…" he gestured to the room languidly. "...and then there's the creature on the loose...and…"

"I know," Belén nervously passed a hand through her hair. "Believe me, I know how bad of a time this is. I shouldn't have taken this long to apologize and explain. You probably don't even want to talk to me and—"

"It's not that, I promise!" Barry quickly cut her off.

"You can tell me the truth, Barry, I deserve it…"

"I swear we can talk and we will," Barry walked up to her and was cautious not to take her hand as he probably would have done out of custom. She would definitely be freaked out if he did that now. "But I think it would be better if we did that when there wasn't a creature after us. It'd be calm and a perfect time to talk, yeah?"

Belén stared him directly in the eyes for a full minute of silence. "You're not lying?" she asked in such a soft voice Barry felt she was practically begging to be hugged and kissed.

"No, I'm not."

"Okay," Belén lightly smiled. "Thank you." She stepped back from him and looked around. "I'm with Joe in that I'm happy I don't have to clean this place up."

"Ha, ha," Barry watched as she backtracked.

"Oh, you just have to speed around and that'll be it. Quit acting so offended," Belén turned to leave, but stopped just under the threshold to glance back. "I'll see you later, then?"

"Yeah," Barry smiled and nodded his head. The other me better thank me for this, he thought. He just got themselves a girlfriend.

~ 0 ~

When Barry returned to STAR Labs, he found Caitlin and Cisco dead set in work on the computers. Wells was situated between the two, staring endlessly at Barry.

"What's going on?" Barry took off his jacket and left it on a nearby chair.

"Oh, you know, just trying to figure out how to find this Dementor that's apparently roaming through Central City right now," Cisco huffed and switched tabs to begin a new search.

"I assume that was the cause of the CCPD alarm," Wells remarked, hand on chin.

"Yeah, actually, it attacked my lab."

Caitlin looked up from her computer with widened eyes. "You saw it?"

"No, I didn't see it, no. I di... um…" Barry knew he was messing up there, "Well, I didn't get there in time, but I have seen it before."

Wells dropped his hand to his lap and tilted his head. "Where?"

My God it was like he was asking to be caught. Barry inwardly groaned. He'd seen plenty of movies where the main character traveled back in time and acted cool about it. Why could he do the same!? "It was earlier today, actually, when I was running to take Hartley down."

"And you're just now mentioning this?"

"I... I didn't know what it was. I thought it was some sort of illusion. I don't know!"

"Okay," Caitlin slowly returned to her own work, "Well, we need to find it before it hurts somebody."

"Can you track it?" Barry directly asked Cisco, for a moment forgetting this Cisco hadn't yet learned he could 'vibe'.

"What is with you guys!?" went Cisco, raising his hands in frustration. "It's like you think I have ESP or something. I can't just magically sense where things are."

"What can you do, Cisco?" Wells calmly asked beside him.

Cisco calmed before he answered. "I'm thinking I can reconfigure the S.T.A.R. Labs satellite to look for it. Um, it might take some time though."

"Alright, in the meantime, Mr. Allen, come with me," Wells motioned Barry to follow. Thinking he had finally cracked the equation for him, Barry happily followed Wells into his office.

"So, you figured the speed equation out?" Barry asked after taking a seat.

"As a matter of fact, I have," Wells went behind Barry's chair.

"Oh, great," Barry could feel a part of him begin to relax. He would be going home real soon then. "You figured it out!"

Wells suddenly got up from his wheelchair and swung his fist at Barry's head, knocking the speedster out. "I've figured it all out."

~ 0 ~

The next time Barry woke up he found himself in Thawne's secret room, cuffed to Thawne's wheelchair with some sort of high-tech in them. He was startled to find Thawne sitting directly across him on a chair, staring at him.

"Now, who are you?" Thawne didn't waste a moment with him. "I mean, who are you really?"

Barry cleared his throat. "Dr. Wells, what are you doing?"

Thawne leaned forwards on his chair, hands together and against his nose. "None of it adds up. The interference with the comms, the speed equation, the Time Wraith." He could see the glint of realization in Barry's eyes at the new name and smiled. "That's what we call them. Time Wraiths. Scary, aren't they? I thought, 'Oh, no, a Time Wraith has found me.' But then I thought, "No, no, no." You know what you're doing. Now, the Time Wraith is after someone who's traveled through time... and doesn't know what they're doing."

Barry could feel his heart racing and not in a good way. "Dr. Wells, c'mon," he released a small laugh. "It's me. It's... it's Barry. I don't... Really?"

Wells began to sarcastically clap for him. "You are good. You are good, and I would believe you, except that…" and he suddenly sped up to Barry waiting for a reaction that never came. Barry had glared straight away. "Nothing. I move like this, you barely flinch. You know who I am. Don't you?" Barry decided he was not going to sit there and let the man keep going at whatever game he'd invented. He tried vibrating through the cuffs around his wrist but failed. Thawne observed the action with a bit of disappointment. "And you're from the future. Do you know how I know that? Because I haven't taught my Barry Allen how to phase through objects... yet"

"Let me out here, Thawne," Barry ordered.

"I know," Thawne sighed. "You're upset. But it does me good to hear that name again. Now, onto the bigger question. Why are you here?"

Barry went with the truth since there was nothing else to lose now. "Because I want to go faster, and you're the only one who can teach me. You're the only one who's figured out the equation. The Speed Force. You've manipulated it. How did you do that?"

But Thawne was scowling. He turned away from Barry and began to make his own conclusions. "No, no, no, no, no, no, no. No. You'd only come here if something went wrong. If you're still alive, then that means... I haven't beaten you. If you're still alive... that means my plan fails!" He threw the chair in the room against the wall and turned on Barry. "And if my plan fails, I don't get to go home, and if that's the case, well, then…"

Barry panicked when Thawne raised a threatening, vibrating hand. "No, no, no! Hey, hey, hey! It's the opposite! It's the opposite!" he shouted desperately. "It... you trick me. You harness my speed. We turn on the accelerator to create a path for you to go home. I go back in time. You go back to yours. You won."

Thawne kept his vibrating hand in the air and stared at Barry for what the speedster considered was the longest minute ever. "Then why are you here? Why are you here now?"

"Because when I got back, a singularity had formed!" Barry quickly supplied. "And now the only way for me to learn how to get faster and stop the singularity from happening was to come here."

"Well, that's good to know. There's just… Just one thing that occurs to me. I don't need you. Do I?" Thawne smirked. "Not this you certainly. Oops," he sarcastically laughed. "You probably should've thought of that before you came back here. Shame...You ran all the way back here just to die."

Barry didn't flinch under the new threat because that one was easy to excuse. "You kill me... Barry... this Barry, your Barry, he learns it all. There's a hidden letter telling him how it ends, how to beat you, everything. Anything happens to me, you never make it back home. Go on. Kill me, Thawne. See how this all ends." But of course Thawne didn't move now that he knew what was at stake. "Now, you're gonna help me get faster."

~ 0 ~

Present day.

"So you're saying that the Belén of your world—"

"Her name's Datura," Poison Ivy left that dead clear for Belén to understand.

"So anyways, she was a scientist at Mercury Labs who was accidentally turned into a metahuman - although one could argue that her Barry was actually responsible for creating 'Datura' - and because she was unable to control her powers she faked her own death. I got that. One thing I'm just curious about is how Datura got the siphoning ability? Technically speaking, she should've only had the Datura powers just like I have my Azalea powers."

Poison Ivy gave a shrug of her shoulders, just as lost as Belén was. "She was working on an experiment that, if successful, would have absorbed energy but that was it. It must have mixed with the daturas she had there and altered her DNA."

"It's made her unstable," Belén did feel a bit sympathy for the woman in that part. She remembered Bette Sans Succi who couldn't touch anything and how frustrated Bette was because of it. It can't be easy and it does, eventually, take a toll on someone. "And that's why she turned evil?"

Poison Ivy laughed at such a juvenile thought. "She didn't turn evil. She always had that darkness inside her. Her civilian life never called for it but it was always there, sitting and waiting for the day it could come out."

"Yeah...so when did that day come?" Belén asked, making her tone sound as straight as possible. She wasn't intending on letting Poison Ivy start taunting her that the same darkness Datura let out was also inside her.

"In the beginning, she wanted to test her siphoning abilities out," Poison Ivy lightly smirked. "That's how we met, actually. She'd accidentally killed some pesky gardener on my hit list. Datura thought that perhaps going to the same person who'd sold her Barry the 2 daturas might have more. She wanted to go back to the basics, but things got out of hand when he realized that Datura was supposed to be dead and before Datura knew it, her hand had touched the man. He shriveled in 10 seconds flat. I was impressed."

Belén was disgusted and she let it be known. "She killed a man! That's terrible!"

"He had it coming," snapped Poison Ivy. "He was arguing with Datura and she lost it. I showed up just before it happened. One way or another, that man was going to die...Datura just beat me to it. She was so scared, poor thing..." Poison Ivy laughed as she thought back to that day. "She looked like a scared child. I had to tell her that it was fine, it was okay. She did what she had to. That man had threatened to expose the fact she was still alive. I made her see that it was all okay. I was the one who took her to her first metahuman victim."

"Oh what a great friend you were," Belén sarcastically said, feeling a rage start in the pit of her stomach. Up until now, it sounded like Poison Ivy was responsible for creating the terrible metahuman that was Datura.

"I was," Poison Ivy glared. It sounded like she was truly offended that Belén would think otherwise. "I've been Datura's partner, best friend, you name it, for a long time now! She doesn't have to hide with me. I taught her how to harness her datura abilities and she's learned how to siphon people. Up until now, she hasn't found anything she can't siphon. The only downside is that side-effect she gets each time she siphons someone. She takes their powers but also a part of them."

"Wait..." Belén blinked, "You mean that thing with the overlapping voices? What is that!? It's so creepy!"

"Well, we're not entirely sure about that but we have hunches. Somewhere along the siphoning process, she ends up siphoning a bit of the victim. A bit a of their consciousness ends up embedded in her and, when she uses their power, that victim's personality briefly appears."

"My God no wonder she's a psychopath," Belén's eyes had widened in horror. "There must be dozens of voices in her head." Poison Ivy raised her head but no longer looked at Belén. "She's not right in the head because she's got all these different people living in her like...like echos. Why doesn't she just stop, then? It's clear that the more she siphons, the crazier and weaker she's going to get. That's how she became sick, right?"

"Because she likes it," Poison Ivy groaned. "Why is that so hard to understand!?"

"Because I don't believe it! So far, it seems like you made her what she is! When's the last time her head has been clear!? Quiet? When's the last time she's been on her own, without you and those voices telling her what to do? Last time I heard, she started making better choices when she had her husband in front of her. She is capable of doing good."

"She is," Poison Ivy surprisingly agreed, making Belén pause for a second. "She's capable of anything. I don't control that and neither does her husband."

"...you're right," Belén said quietly after carefully reviewing what she'd learned so far. "Nobody can control her, but it's clear that environmental changes do have an affect on her. She's evil, no doubt about that, but deep down...she's fundamentally the same as me and any other doppelgangers we have out there. She gets scared easily, she's sneaky, sarcastic, she loves Barry Allen and their family. Barry told me that he found objects in your greenhouse that belonged to Earth 2 Maritza, Rayan and their parents."

"She. Is. Datura," Poison Ivy enunciated each word slowly before slamming a fist against the pod's wall.

"She is," Belén agreed. "But I wonder what she'd be if she didn't have all those voices rocking about in her head. Who would she be if she was no longer scared of her powers and actually had some control over them? I'm kind of curious..."

"She'll always be Datura!"

"Yeah, she might be..." Belén started drifting towards the pipeline's controls, "She could very well be the same...but I'd like to see it. See what happens, you know. I'll let you know how that goes." She winked at Poison Ivy who couldn't look more furious.

"You won't change her!"

"I'm not going to," Belén left it clear just as her fingers found the prison pod controls. "I won't make her be someone she's not. I'm just going to..." A clean smile spread across her face, "...take something out of the equation. Bye!" She jammed a hand against the buttons and waved at a screaming Poison Ivy.

~ 0 ~

Past, 2014.

Barry was waiting for Thawne to finally make his decision and let him go once and for all. But then they began to hear shouting from outside. And screeches. There were definitely screeches out there. Thawne quickly pulled up the security camera feed to showing multiple footage of the building. In one screen was Caitlin running towards the pipeline with a Time Wraith hot on her trail.

"We need to help them," Barry tried getting up but fell right back down since he was still cuffed.

Cisco had sealed himself and Caitlin inside Hartley's prison pod but the Time Wraith was still pounding, and by the looks of it cracking the wall of the pod.

"Get me out of here, c'mon!" Barry shouted at Thawne since the man hadn't moved yet.

"If that thing comes after me and messes with my plans, you're all dead!" Thawne warned as he moved over.

Barry stared at the screens and panicked even worse when he saw Belén coming out of the elevator. "Oh n-n-n-no. Hurry up!" he frantically pulled on the cuffs. He might just speed out of there with it.

~ 0 ~

"Yes, Maritza, I'll text you if I'm coming home for dinner or not," Belén was in the middle of a phone conversation with her sister when she exited the elevator. "Yeah, actually, I don't know if I'm gonna be late…" She planned on finally talking with Barry and hoping for a good resolution. "I might be...if I'm lucky…"

But then the Time Wraith's screeches made her lower her phone for a moment. There was definitely something there.

"Mar, I'll call you back," she said goodbye to Maritza and hung up. She dropped her phone in her purse and walked forwards. "Caitlin? Cisco?" she began to call out, and loudly unfortunate. "Dr. Wells?"

The screeching grew louder as the Time Wraith rushed towards her. She dropped her purse when she finally saw the Time Wraith at the other end of the hallway. Her scream was inevitable. Green patches sprouted on her hands when she raised her arms over her head. Thankfully, her scientist friends had Hartley's gauntlets in the pipeline, giving Hartley the tools to release a destructive signal on the same frequency as the Time Wraith. A reverberating, ear-splitting screech blasted throughout the entire building with so much force that it threw Belén back against the elevator doors. The noise was, however, successful in forcing the Time Wraith to retreat and leave the building.

While Thawne went to release Caitlin and Cisco from the pipeline, Barry sped to the entrance to find Belén.

"Bells!" he found her trying to sit up and failing.

"My head…" the woman groaned. She rubbed the side of her head, letting Barry see the familiar random green patch of skin on the back of her hand. This was still the period in which Belén hid the other side of her powers from everyone.

"Bells, let me help you," Barry didn't necessarily wait for her to agree. He scooped her up into his arms and headed for the cortex. Caitlin would have to give her another check up.

"Was that...the Dementor?"

"Uh, yeah…" Barry was careful as he laid her down on a bed. She winced when her head touched the pillow, prompting Barry to give an apology.

"I stand corrected. It's a lot scarier than what the movies show," Belén said with a small smile.

"Bells…" Barry tried not laugh because this was a serious moment. She was hurt and needed to be looked at...but she was also pretty funny.

"Hey, what's going on?" Cisco called when he, Caitlin and Thawne walked into the cortex.

Barry quickly came out of the side room and motioned for Caitlin to go in. "Bells was hurt by whatever you guys did…"

"Hartley used the gauntlets to get the creature to leave for now," Cisco waved Hartley's gauntlets in his hands.

"You should check if the thing's still here, though," Barry suggested. Cisco hummed in agreement and hurried back to the computers.

Thawne gave deep stare at Barry, probably blaming him for all this. The bad thing was that this time Thawne was right. The Time Wraith had come back for him and nearly hurt his friends because of it.

~ 0 ~

Present Day.

"So...that's it, you're going to cure Datura?" Shivhan seemed outraged at the news but at the same time she was hopeful that she'd heard wrong. She looked at Caitlin and Cisco in the cortex for their input. "Well? Did you hear her!?"

"Not much we can say at this point," Cisco shrugged his shoulders.

"Except maybe...you're crazy!?" Shivhan exclaimed, though it was nothing that Belén hadn't prepared for.

"Am not," the ombre-blonde waved her off. "I just want to see what happens if we do cure her. Everything that Poison Ivy told me...it made it sound like after Datura got her powers, she never had a moment of clarity."

"It must be difficult thinking clearly if she has dozens of voices in her head," Caitlin remarked but as soon as she did, Shivhan threw her a glare. "Sorry."

"No!" Belén moved to Caitlin's side of the desk. "Because that's exactly what I thought too. I'm not saying that I expect Datura to be a better person afterwards. I'm not expecting anything. I just want to see what happens to her. What happens when we remove all the voices and give her control over her powers? If she goes back to being herself...then it proves that it was just the powers making her evil."

"And if not?" Shivhan crossed her arms and fixated a hard-eyed stare on Belén, almost assuming that if they got the worst side of Datura then Belén would lose it.

"Then we lock her ass up in the pipeline for good," Belén said without any hint of hesitation.

"So you would leave her alone if she turned good again?" Cisco genuinely wondered.

"I don't know," Belén admitted. "I mean...if we get that lucky, then I think we'll figure something out at that point but right now this is my choice. I want to try and cure her. But I also want to make it clear-" she pointed a finger at Shivhan, "-that I am not expecting for Datura to change her ways. I'm giving her a path like Poison Ivy did, and if she makes the wrong one that's on her. I'm not going to lament the fact my doppelganger is evil."

"I think that's very noble of of you to decide this, Belén," Caitlin offered Belén her supportive smile. It couldn't have been easy choosing to help a woman who's been hurting them nonstop all year. "Anything you need from me, I'm here."

"You know I already had work set up so..." Cisco trailed off, leaving his side clear.

"Shivhan?" Belén waited for the woman's input. "You've helped me a lot...will you do it one more time?"

Shivhan rolled her eyes. "Gah, you know I will. I just won't be happy about it. Seriously, if it was me, I'd leave that woman to die. The only thing I'd be doing is finding her a good cremation box."

Belén chuckled. "Oh Shivhan."

~ 0 ~

Past, 2014.

"Just...try to take it easy…" Caitlin walked cautiously with Belén out from the side room. Belén refused to stay in bed any longer despite still feeling woozy from the second blow of the day.

"Relax, Caitlin, I doubt that thing will come back right now... I hope…" Belén couldn't continue with this streak of bad luck any longer.

Caitlin walked her to where Cisco and Thawne were working on Hartley's gauntlets. "How's it going?" Caitlin asked.

Cisco grumbled, apparently the answer being not good. Belén leaned against the threshold, still rubbing the side of her head. "Why don't you just ask Hartley? He was the one who created them after all."

"It's what I said too," Cisco threw a look over to Thawne.

"Fine," went the man. "See if he can help, but he stays in the cell."

"But then what? That thing's gonna come back—"

"Don't argue," Caitlin tried to say when Barry - or at least a Barry - sped into the room looking frantic as ever.

"Where is he? Where's the other Flash!?" His eyes scanned the entire room but found only his confused friends staring at him.

Confusion grew even more when the future Barry appeared behind. "I'm right here."

The younger Barry quickly turned on him, suspicious yet fearful another syringe might be injected in him again.

"Cait, maybe I do need to go lie down. I'm seeing two Barry's," Belén shook her head fervently as if that would make one Barry disappear.

Caitlin put a hand on Belén's arm to stop her from shaking her head before she got dizzy. "No, they're real."

"Okay, so then who are you?" Belén made a gesture to the younger Barry. "You just pop in out of nowhere - speed in or whatever—"

"Bells!" he exclaimed and cut her off. "I'm Barry!" he gestured to himself. "I'm Barry. Your Barry!"

Cisco raised his fingers at the two speedsters, being the first one to get what was happening. "He's...your...doppelganger…?"

"No, not yet," went the future-Barry with a shrug before glancing at his younger version. "I am you, Barry. Just...different."

"Wait a second, how do we know which one's the real Barry?" challenged Cisco.

"Oh, that's good, make them answer a lot of questions," Belén smiled to herself. "That's always funny in the movies…"

Young Barry was not amused by her antics. He was already upset with her because she'd been ignoring him. "It's not funny!" he snapped at her. She scowled in return.

"Okay, guys—" went the future-Barry in an effort to stop a new argument between them, "—I'm sorry. This was not supposed to happen. The tranq dart that Caitlin made was supposed to last a lot longer-"

At the accusation Caitlin raised her hands in defense. "I did not give him a tranq dart!"

Thawne kept making gestures for the future-Barry to understand but was being plainly ignored.

"Okay, no, yes, not you, the you from the time that I am from," Barry was trying to clarify that he was talking about the version of Caitlin he knew.

"The time that you are from?" the younger Barry repeated, confused.

"I think what he's trying to say is he's from the future," Thawne finally just cut in.

"The future?" young-Barry continued to ask.

"Yeah."

A new gleeful glint crossed young-Barry's face as he realized. "Are we saying I can time-travel?"

"One day," his older version promised.

"Well that is just unfair," Belén crossed her arms and sighed.

"Oh, that explains the white on the symbol," Cisco pointed at the white emblem sitting on young-Barry's chest. "Well, wait a second. Suppose we now change your emblem. Will it be because we got the idea from this? Or, I mean, that would mean…"

"Stop talking," Thawne ordered. "You stop talking too, all right?" he warned the future Barry. "More you say, the more the timeline is disrupted. Now I'm going to assume that your presence here is the reason that thing is attacking us."

"What? What thing?" young-Barry quickly asked.

"A Dementor," answered Belén with a sway of her feet.

"Is she on meds…?" young-Barry directed his question to Caitlin. "Or…?"

"I hit my head twice, alright? Leave me alone!"

"Oh, yeah, that's what you've been making sure I do lately!"

"That's why I was trying to apologize and - oooh…" Belén trailed off and gazed over to the future-Barry who was already apologetically smiling at her. "Now that makes sense." He didn't want her apologizing to him because she wouldn't be apologizing to the right version! Smart!

"What does?" demanded the younger Barry.

"Doesn't matter. Right now I say we focus on the Dementor…"

"Time Wraith," corrected future-Barry.

"For your safety, don't help."

"And how do we do that exactly?" asked Caitlin.

"We don't know yet," Thawne said with regret.

"So then what are we gonna do?"

Thawne leveled a look future-Barry. "The one thing we can."

~ 0 ~

"What do you think Wells is giving the future Barry?" Cisco came back to the cortex after peering out into the hallway for the third time.

"Who cares," the young Barry sat the white emblem belonging to his older version down on the desk. "He can take that and I want mine back."

"Is this a case of boys and their toys?" asked Belén curiously.

Barry shook his head and tried to be rational about this. But then again an older version of him had fought him, injected him with a tranq dart and taken his place for most of the day so maybe being rational wasn't exactly his strongest point yet. He directed an accusing hand at Belén and turned on her. "Okay, you are confusing—"

"And you—" Belén pointed at him, "—are extra cranky. Guess we're both having a bad day."

Barry glared at her hard. "I don't think you should be pushing it, honestly. You've been ignoring me ever since we fought Snart and Rory!"

"Well, I was going to tell you but then I learned that the 'you' I was going to tell wasn't actually you because he was from the future!" Belén stopped after listening to her own words, her nose scrunching. "Hold on..."

"I was here and even I'm confused with what she said..." Cisco mumbled to Caitlin from their chairs.

"Imagine me," Barry snapped and briefly glared at Belén again.

"Barry, I'm sorry," she tried to apologize there and then since he was only getting more upset with her. She knew she deserved it but it didn't mean that it didn't hurt.

"Yeah," he scoffed instead.

Belén sighed and, dejectedly, glanced Caitlin and Cisco. "I deserve it, I know."

"It's not that you deserve anything it's just...I'm frustrated," Barry crossed his arms, scowling at her.

"I know. And you have every right to be, I swear. You can be mad and I won't be upset cos I know it's my fault."

"Bells, it's not," the older Barry said as he and Thawne returned. He cast a deep glare at his younger version, warning him to stop right there. "So quit making her feel like it or you and I are going to argue right now too." His words surprised everyone but he didn't care. This argument was pointless now that he thought about it. Belén made a decision between Rayan and him and she chose him thinking about the greater good. Rayan wasn't playing fair and Belén only chose thinking about the city. That wasn't her fault. It was just who she was. He would he damned if anyone, even another version of himself, made her feel bad about herself.

"Okay, our satellite has finally found our floating friend and it's coming back," Caitlin announced with a clearing of her throat. She, like the others, were looking from one Barry to the other, wondering if they would actually fight.

"You need to go," Thawne pointed at the future Barry. "Now."

"I need to know how to stop it," he told the others. "Not now. When I get back. You guys have a year to figure it out."

Cisco nodded. "Okay. We'll figure something out."

"Cisco, come here," Barry pulled Cisco to the side for a moment. "Hartley knows where Ronnie is."

"Okay?" Cisco said before his words truly registered. "Wait, what?"

"It's coming!" Caitlin went again.

"You need to leave now!" Thawne more urgently told Barry.

"Yeah, okay," Barry went over to the desk to retrieve his rightful emblem. His younger version cleared his throat and held out his hand to get his own emblem back. "Sorry," future Barry said as he handed the old emblem back.

"Thank you," young Barry strapped the emblem back on his suit.

"And listen," future Barry spoke in a hushed tone, "This argument with Bells? Not worth it. Trust me. Just listen to her, please. For both our sake's." His younger version seemed to listen this time so Barry could leave feeling at peace. Of course, before he truly left, he had to stop by Belén first.

She was already smiling when he came up to her. "Thanks for backing me up."

"Always," he said earnestly. "And just so you know, your choice meant a lot to me." He leaned closer and whispered so that only she would hear. "Thank you."

Whether she wanted to or not, she blushed. She waved him goodbye with a languid hand until she noticed everyone else's look on her, including their version of Barry.

"What he say?" he asked her curiously. Her smile was a bit funny.

"Nothing," she cleared her throat and moved a few steps away.

Future Barry had gone down into the pipeline and followed the same instructions he'd done to get there in the first place. He ran as fast as he could in a constant circle and just like before, the Time Wraith swooped down and started chasing him.

"It's not working. It's slowing him down," Caitlin told the others as they watched from the monitors.

"So what do we do?" Belén frowned. "Can we help him?"

"I can," answered their Barry before speeding away despite Wells calling him not to.

He rushed into the pipeline and waited for his older version to pass by and when the Time Wraith came next, he launched a foot straight at it. The Time Wraith went flying backwards, giving future Barry the precise gap and speed to go into a time portal. The Time Wraith went after a minute later.

"Cool," young Barry breathed in with a laugh. He couldn't wait to be able to do that one day. For now, he would just focus on what he had in front of him. He brought a hand to the comm. in his ear. "Bells?"

"...yeah?" came the unsure voice from the cortex.

"Let's talk." And even though Barry couldn't see her at the moment, he knew she was smiling just like he was.

~ 0 ~

Getting back to the present day, Barry came through the portal only a couple hours after he had left. He also came to the mighty surprise of finding a reformed Hartley Rathaway helping them and even creating the gauntlet device that permanently destroyed the Time Wraith. It was nice knowing that he managed to do a little good along the way.

It was even better to know that the trip was successful in that Thawne had kept his word and gave Barry the keys to new speed. With all this, he happily went to find his girlfriend - the version he would be able to kiss now - in the building. She was fixing things in her greenhouse but as soon as she saw him, she dropped everything to greet him. Turns out that they both had some news for each other.

"Seems like we both found what we needed," she concluded. "You got your speed equation solved and...I decided to try and cure a psycopath. Not the same but, still...yay?"

Barry chuckled at her. "It's a semi-win. So then...you sure this is what you want?"

"Mhm," Belén nodded her head. "After listening to Poison Ivy I wondered what I would be like if I had all those voices in my head. It's not personality disorder, it's a serious side effect that her own powers are creating. I bet Datura hasn't had a quiet mind in a very long time. I don't know if it'll cure her mentally but I can at least say that I tried to help."

"Okay," Barry smiled at her. "Let's try."

"Right. And you got your speed problem solved, right?"

"Oh yeah! We're going to be looking over everything Thawne gave me," Barry was anxious at what exactly the USB contained. He only skimmed a bit of it earlier with the others but once they were all together, they would start working on it.

"Hey! There you are!" Iris suddenly popped into the room with her laptop bag slung around her shoulder. She came into the room in a hasty run. "I've been looking for you, Belén!"

"Why? What is it?" Belén watched her pull her laptop out of her bag. She let the bag fall to the floor while she opened her laptop up. "Iris? You okay?"

"I am and after you see all this, you will be too!" Iris turned her laptop around so that Belén could see the screen.

Belén leaned closer but all she saw was her article. "I'm confused. I know I wrote this. I was there."

Iris rolled her eyes. "No, no! Look at the comments! The responses!"

Belén took the laptop into her arms and scrolled down to the end of the article where all the responses would be. "Wow, okay...there's more now."

"Try hundreds! Yesterday you had about a hundred. It spiked between then and now! There's a total of 800 and who knows how much there'll be by tomorrow!"

"That's good right?" Barry looked between the two reporters with his own growing smile.

"Yes!" Iris laughed. "For a freelance article like this...it's really good."

"It's doing good for people," Belén whispered, as if it was just now donning on her. She was trying to read as many comments as possible and despite there being a few bad apples, there were plenty of people thanking her for writing the article. Others showed their support to any botanical meta that might need shelter or food or anything else while they were in hiding. "It's like a community is starting there..."

"Yeah, a community you started," Barry said to her. He kissed her temple and started reading a few comments as she kept scrolling. "If any metahuman sees this, they'll know about the Green. It's exactly what you wanted."

"Yeah, it is," Belén bit her lower lip to keep herself from laughing. It was just too surreal that her article was actually working. It truly made her suspension all the more worth it.

[gunkbaby]

Cringe OC X Canon Character shipper gives unwanted opinion on subject they do not care abt, for a fandom they are no longer a part of:

From an outsider pov, my takeaway from seeing 6 yrs of tokyo ghoul ship discourse is this:

It’s complicated.

There are a lot of components, lots of complexities to each popular ship, and a lot of parties make good points, but said points are devalued by general cattyness and the fact some of y’all cannot keep ur chill.

Look, I don’t care about shipping. Monogamy makes me physically ill, and I just. Don’t see the appeal. Tokyo Ghoul was always about non-romantic relationships more than the platonical ones from my POV. So who tf am I to suddenly post about this?

Well. Discourse does pop up on my twt tl sometimes and it’s irritating and I have thoughts, which I wanna give now, bc i feel this way a lot, and if this post is nothing but a ramble to get it off my chest, then be it so. I really don’t care.

So. My honest opinion on tg shipping is :

although monogamy as a whole makes me uncomfortable, and I dislike certain th ships bc I don’t feel they’d be unhealthy and i want the best for my bby boy -

i honestly think we should just…let people live.

If people enjoy or take comfort in a harmless ship then I dont think anyone has the right to take that away from them. If you’re not going after anyone else, and if the ship isn’t like, involving incest or children, etc, then i dont see anything rly wrong with it. And I don’t think anyone has any right to try and take that from anyone.

I dont like that tokyo ghoul shipping has become this horrible thing that - as a sort of outside member of the community- i have felt uncomfortable with and afraid of.

isnt shipping about love? the childlike whimsy of making two barbies kiss? why don’t i feel any of that love from shipping communities? why does it instead feel catty and petty and violent?

I’ve said before but, loving something is not a competition, and if you treat it like a competition, you’ll just fight with whoever forever.

If no one’s hurting you, and you’re not hurting anyone - then i don’t understand why you can’t just love your ship.

Yes, by all means, defend it when people come at you, but at the end of the day : this is just the adult equivalent of making two barbies kiss. The kid in the corner making different barbies kiss is likely no lesser or better than you, you don’t need to fight over who gets what doll, why you deserve it more, etc - there are enough dolls for everyone!

I’m tired of the hatred in this community. This fandom is dead as is, and even though I’ve chosen to distance myself from most of the greater fandom, I don’t want more people to feel pushed out of it because of a fucking ship. And it’s like, I’ve seen bad behaviour from basically every ship in tg - from people randomly deciding to say awful, bigoted things about characters, to actual people - all because they like a different ship.

It’s ridiculous. If y’all wanna hate on me for this post, then fine, but I am so consistently disheartened by the lack of kindness in this community. It’s exhausting, and just writing this ramble has been exhausting, because y’all really will just go and bully someone for shipping touken, or hidekane, or whatever - it’s not that deep. It’s not that big of a deal. Your ship is special to YOU. No one can or should try to take that away from you, but that has to work both ways.

Just be kind u guys. That’s literally all. It’s not always easy to make the kindest choice, or choose the kindest words, but it is worth the effort. Just be nicer to each other, please.

[thirteenmyspacegirl]

6. What’s the last line you wrote?

13. Do you listen to music while you write? If yes, what have you been listening to recently?

20. Do you prefer writing AUs or canon fics?

24. How do you choose whose POV to write in?

51. Does what you like to write differ from what you like to read?

53. What is the most-used tag on your ao3?

55. Have you noticed any patterns in your fics? Words/expressions that appear a lot, themes, common settings, etc?

58. Do you have a favorite piece of figurative language you’ve written?

70. Are you subscribed to any writers on AO3?

74. Do you have a fic you wish got a bit more love?

77. Why do you enjoy writing fanfiction?

YOOOO THIS IS SO MANY OML BESTIE THANK YOU THANK YOU

ALSO WELCOME BACKKKKKK :DDDD

6: "Looking around, they saw various painted artworks; some depicting the crew, others of various creatures, and some just clashes of colors to make intriguing patterns and designs." -From Oh the things being surprised adopted can bring you

13: Yup! I usually listen to Closed on Sunday's star wars lofi, or other star wars soundtracks, since i can't concentrate when i have music with lyrics on

20: A bit of both, if something happened in canon that i love so much i absolutely HAVE to include in my fic, i will literally change an au to canon for that specific thing (for example in my most recent dw fic, i wanted to somehow include the 'i wanna tell you everything' moment so bad i reworked the timeline of my entire 15+ chapters so i could have it djejwjkskddi), but au's are usually more fun since i can include an oc/bring back characters from the dead-looking at you torchwood-and be a lot more free with headcanons and world building and all that fun stuff!

24: Oooooh this is a good one actually. In my original story that I'm working on, i have two main characters that are each other's worst enemy, and i keep flipping back and forth between their pov's and sometimes a descriptive 3rd person pov. But for stories with many characters usually all often in the same space, I'll usually write in 3rd person with a specific character pov point/chapter occasionally thrown in

51: Not really haha, what usually happens tho is I'll be looking for something i wanna read, and if I can't find it I'll just write it myself xD But in a general sense I usually take inspiration from what I read, and if i like it enough I try to apply some of the ideas too:)

53: uhhhhh hm i am not sure but probably angst 💀

55: Sort of? if there's a word/phrase that i come across that i really like and basically hyperfixate on, it'll appear a lot in one section of my writing lmao- i also do tend to notice i write things the same/similar ways, I wouldn't really be able to describe it lol but i think it's because i need to branch out more in style and type wjdjjwjdkskswl

58: oh gods i have no idea- I've gone through every wip document and i can't find a super good/funny one😭 the only alright one that i don't hate is the constant reference of TIE Fighters "screaming" ejdjskekdkwk

70: mhm! 9 authors and 5 works/series'!!

74: y e s everyone go read my only completed doctor who fic To Have to Hold here!!!!

(and also if you're interested in following an incredibly irregularly updated star wars fic featuring my oc Maia you can read Oh the things being surprise adopted can bring you here :) )

77: oh there's so many- mainly the world building and the being able to make anything and everything happen to my favs and cause so much stuff to happen to them dajjedkwkdoei

thank u so so much for all of these this was so much fun :DDDD

[neowinestainedress]

ixora

all’s well that ends well to end up with you :

↳ part 2 | part 1 | part 3 

title: ixora

pairings: jeong jaehyun x oc x suh johnny 

summary: It was supposed to be just a fun night together. It was never supposed to end like this.

genre: established relationship, relationship negotiation, poly relationship, smut, fluff, angst, model!jaehyun, photographer!johnny, 

warnings: smut, unprotected sex, dom / sub dynamics, threesomes, oral (m&f receiving), overstimulation, multiple orgasms, fingering, shower sex, kind of double vaginal penetration (with fingers), minor size kink, use of sir and daddy (like once), angst, fights (lot of swearing), minor mentions of past abusive family (nothing physical, just psychological), implied homophobia (a minor character gets kicked out of the house, that’s it) 

word count: 27.459k

taglist: @nz06s​ @thelmathinks @leighsoo​ | if you want to be added comment under the masterpost of the series

a/n: Sooo, here’s how it all started. Hope you’ll like it. Feedback is appreciated as always. 

One year later.

The turntable was spinning in the living room, filling the house with Cigarettes After Sex’s music. The wind was blowing from window to window, keeping the house cool on that night in May. 

“You should’ve been a chef, Johnny,” Jade said after praising Johnny’s food for the nth time that night.

Jaehyun rolled his eyes at her exaggerated expressions and jokingly said, “babe, it’s a shrimp, not an orgasm.”

“Close to that,” she mumbled after chewing another bite.

“Damn, getting replaced by a fish, Jay, that’s bad,” Johnny joked, grabbing the glass of wine while looking at his friend.

“That’s all your fault, I’ve been seeing you more in these last months than my mom all my life.”

“But who’s here cooking for you when you come home after a long day at work?” Johnny winked with a teasing smirk on his face.

“Yes, male wife Johnny for the win,” Jade chanted, grabbing the glass, and raising it to do a toast.

“I can be your male wife, too.”

“But you’re always out in the evening.”

“Not my fault the kids have school all day and are only free in the afternoon.”

“Do you hate having your best friend around you?” Johnny asked, faking a pout.

“I don’t mind. I’m just saying that you’re charming my girlfriend with delicious food, and if you keep going on like this, you’ll charm me, too.”

“Great, that was exactly my plan, so I can’t wait to blow your mind with the dessert.”

“Tell me that’s not an innuendo…” Jaehyun begged, looking at him with a disgusted expression.

“Who do you think I am? Using sex to lure you? No, just my amazing cooking skills.”

Jade laughed when Jaehyun breathed a sigh of relief and then asked, “you really have known each other for so long… You never slipped apart?”

Jaehyun shook his head first. “Nope, don’t ask me how, never. Some fights here and there, maybe sometimes we would talk a little bit less, but then we always found a way to go back together as if nothing ever happened.”

“Yeah, it just… flows, I guess,” Johnny added, smiling at Jaehyun who was already beaming at him.

“That’s something you should cherish, it’s rare to have a person that’s so present in your life.” She had Amita, but they’ve known each other just since high school, and yet she couldn’t imagine a life without her. She didn’t like to go back to those times, but Amita had basically been the only light she had back then. But knowing someone since you were born is a completely different thing and losing them could be so painful.

“I think we do, he’s always the first to like my photos when I post on Instagram.”

Jaehyun rolled his eyes at his joke and then threw him a napkin. “And he’s always the dumbass of the duo.”

Jade snorted. “Acting as if you’re any better.”

“Ah! One for Johnny, zero for Jaehyun,” the older teased, pointing a finger at him.

“Why are you siding with him? See that I can’t trust you,” he complained, but Johnny and Jade simply high-fived each other and winked at him.

Jaehyun scoffed. “You could’ve bought some more, by the way,” he said, referring to the food.

“They are expensive, love. I have to save money to open my own studio, I can’t go around buying shellfishes for you and your lady.”

“You eat them too. If somebody hears you, they’ll think you’re like our butler.”

“And if we could afford one, we wouldn’t be in this house.”

“Nah, it’s nice. Definitely better than the first one you had together. That was hell on earth,” Johnny noted, looking around. It wasn’t much bigger than the other; had a kitchen, a living room, a bathroom, and just one bedroom, but at least everything worked. “You have a functioning elevator, that’s all you could ask for.”

“Yeah, but the landlord wants to raise the rent and if I don’t start to get bigger gigs we’re over,” Jaehyun huffed. Working as a model was a living hell. He still wasn’t on the level to get big bookings with important brands, so he had to stick with small projects, usually with starting photographers that always paid (a misery) two months later. And so, he had to go back to teaching little kids while he occasionally photographed too.

“We’ll be fine, if everything goes as planned, I should get an animation project, it will pay more than the usual commissions.”

“You sure you don’t need help?” Johnny asked.

“No, don’t worry,” Jade reassured.

“Just get ready, maybe we’ll start to be like parasites in your house when they’ll throw us out of this,” Jaehyun joked.

“Jaehyun!” Jade screamed from the living room, running to their bedroom where Jaehyun was just getting changed after a day out.

“What’s going on? Are you okay?” He asked, worried she hurt herself, but when she jumped in his arms, he realized it must have been something good.

“I got the job!” She exclaimed, smiling from ear to ear.

“Oh my God, I told you they would choose you,” he said, spinning around while holding her in his arms.

“I started to lose hope when they didn’t call me yesterday,” Jade admitted when he gently put her on the ground again.

“You have to be positive babe, you can do so much, you’re amazing at your job.”

“Yeah, but this is something I never did. I was afraid they wouldn’t consider me for the lack of experience.”

“And yet you’ll be making the animation for this kid’s book.”

“What if they come out ugly? I have to create all the characters, and everything.”

“Just imagine you’re doing them for our kids, and they’ll come out amazing.”

Jade chuckled. “A little bit too soon, don’t you think so?”

Jaehyun shrugged. “I said imagine, not let’s have one right now,” he replied before trapping her lips in a kiss.

She mumbled something in the kiss, but Jaehyun didn’t pull away, instead, the kiss got more heated, until they had to part ways to breathe. “This is not a ‘let’s not make kids’ kiss, Mr. Jeong.”

He laughed, tugging her hair behind her ear. “You know how much I’d love to, but we can barely make it at the end of the month ourselves, so a kid is not what we need.”

“Agreed,” she smiled. “I’ll just make up one in my head to help me with this project.”

“Like Pinocchio.”

“He was crafted in wood and then started talking, that always crept me out a little, to be honest.”

Jaehyun rolled his eyes. “You’re so not romantic, God.”

“No, I’m honest. If you bring a doll at home and she starts walking around, it’s horror, but if you make a doll yourself and he goes around causing troubles, it’s cute, poor wooden boy he just wants to be a real kid.”

“There’s so much more than just that, but what can I expect from someone whose favourite movie is The Grinch?”

“Leave the Grinch alone, he was a victim.”

“You have a thing for villains, that’s what it is.”

“He’s not a villain. And even if he was, it’s not my fault villains always have more valid points than heroes.”

“I hope you won’t side with the villain even in this kid’s story,” he joked.

Jade shrugged. “Unfortunately, I didn’t write the story.”

“Good, less traumatized children on earth.”

Everything was going fine between them. They couldn’t complain about anything. Jaehyun started to be more booked, and his popularity was rising. Jade’s book did well, and the income had been great, and many other projects came with that.

They always lived in the same house, but it was fine. It was only them, and their little place. Nothing was missing and nothing was going wrong.

But midnight talks are dangerous, they seem harmless and playful but between a laugh and another, they can lead to something that will turn the tables around. And that’s exactly what happened that night of June; one talk led to something that would’ve changed their relationship forever.

Jade and Jaehyun were laying in bed, they had just finished having sex and for some reason, the conversation drifted to their sexual fantasies.

“Oh, I can’t believe there is nothing that you want to try,” Jaehyun said, standing on his side to look at her.

“I don’t know, I think we already do everything that I like,” she replied with a small frown on her face.

“I bet it’s something too controversial to say and you think I’ll judge you.”

“That’s not true, I just… never really thought about something.”  

“Never? Not a single wild thought running in your mind?”

“I mean, how wilder can we get?”

“We’re not that wild,” he replied, fingers tracing the skin of her arm.

“Oh, acting as if you didn’t just blow my back two minutes ago.”

“I’m not talking about doing it rough, I’m talking about kinks. Something more than just overstimulation or edging or calling me sir, you know.”

“Oh,” Jade whispered when a sudden thought crossed her mind.

“Oh?”

“Maybe I have it.”

A smile crept on his lips, curious to know more about it. “Oh great, what’s that?”

She gulped and then turned around too, to stare at him in the eyes. “I’m not sure you’d like that.”

“Oh, God, how terrible that is?”

“I just… don’t think you’re a big fan of the idea.”

“But that’s the point, we can always try it out, and then if I don’t like it, we’ll stop.”

“It’s more complicated.”

“You’re starting to scare me. Knives?”

“What? No,” she exclaimed, turning up her nose.

“Roleplay?”

“No, I don’t want to act in bed.”

Jaehyun furrowed, trying to think about what could be that terrible. “Then what it is? Somnophilia?”

“No, thanks, not a fan at all.”

“Then what’s worse than that?”

“Threesome…” she whispered.

“What?” He asked, voice coming out higher than expected, and head snapping up.

“I knew that. I knew you’d get mad if I told you.”

“No, I don’t know if I heard right.”

She rolled her eyes and sighed loudly before repeating. “A threesome, Jae.”

“Oh,” he gasped, realizing he didn’t hear wrong.

“See, you’re mad.”

“No, but… why?”

“It’s just an experience, I… you said we could talk…” She pouted, already regretting her confession.

“Okay, let’s talk.”

“It’s not because you’re not enough. I just, I like the idea of being the centre of attention for more than one person. And for how dirty it sounds, I kind of think I’d enjoy more than one pair of hands on me.”

Jaehyun nodded slowly. “With a man or woman?”

“I don’t care, either is fine.”

“Have you…have you ever seriously fantasized about it?”

“What do you mean?”

“Pictured yourself with two people at once.”

“Mh, yeah… I mean, I remember it started when I found out erotic audios ages ago,” she started saying, trying to fight the embarrassment of telling him what got her off.

He furrowed. “Audios?”

“Yes, don’t shame me. They help me get off much more than visual porn.”

“Oh, and you heard one about a threesome, I guess?”

“Well, to be honest, it wasn’t a threesome, and I’m not going to go into details, but the whole point is that imagining being with more than just one person really turned me on. Being stimulated in every way possible at the same time, having more hands roaming on my body, more kisses, just…more.”

“And I can’t do that? I mean, if you want to try double penetration, we can buy a dildo.”

“But I don’t want a dildo, it’s not about the sex itself, it’s about… contact? Connection? I don’t know how to explain it, I… I might also have a super small size kink, okay,” she whispered the last words, feeling heat creep on her face.

“Oh, it keeps getting worse.”

“Hey! You said you weren’t going to shame me.”

“I’m not. I mean, I get it too, I like seeing you trapped under me and all that, but why am I not enough?”

“Is not you not being enough, is just wanting something more. Something different.”

“And do you, I mean, have you thought about somebody?”

“I never really thought about that, also because I don’t think I’d be able to have sex with someone I’m not comfortable with. Not a threesome at least and not when the other person is you.”

“What’s wrong with me now?”

“Nothing. But we have chemistry, we know each other, we need someone that will make us both comfortable, someone that can fit in our dynamics well.”

Jaehyun furrowed. “Wait, so you want to do that for real?”

She hesitated. Now that he brought the thought out again, she was tempted to say yes, but the look on his face said it all. She didn’t want to ruin their relationship for sex. “No, I think it’s probably just going to be awkward, also we don’t have somebody that gets us both, so no. It’ll keep being fun in fantasy.”

“Are you sure? Maybe we could try those swingers –”

“No,” she stopped immediately. “I’m not fucking with a complete stranger, I don’t like the idea of a threesome just to find some genitalia to have fun with, I’d buy sex toys for that. I like the chemistry, the idea of three people that have to work together, the tension.”

“Oh, so you really like it,” he mumbled, trying to hide the sadness in his voice. The insecurity from his past jumped back on his neck again, even if he tried to push them away.

But she shook her head and caressed his cheek before smiling fondly at him. “No, Jae, it’s just a wild thing. We don’t need a third and I don’t want to find it.”

“Wow,” Johnny cheered, walking around Jade, “look at you,” he praised eyeing her up and down.

“See,” she smiled, doing a pose to show her sparkling golden dress, “just for you.”

Johnny laughed and pulled her in to hug her and kiss her cheeks and then looked at Jaehyun.

“Wow, you look great too, man,” he complimented. “And not to praise you because I love you but you two are always the hottest couple everywhere you go.” He winked at them before wrapping his arms around their shoulders and walking toward the small bar in the middle of the gallery.

“And you’re always between us,” Jaehyun replied, rolling his eyes.

“Leave them alone, Johnny,” Amita said, shaking her head before walking over to her friends and hugging Jade who slipped out of Johnny’s hold.

“I just want everybody to know that I have the hottest friends.”

“You should be bragging about our project not them,” Amita replied, hugging Jaehyun too.

“So, can we have the privilege to see the photos with their creators, or are you going to let us wander all alone?” Jade asked, intertwining her arm with Amita’s.

“We’ll show you around, also because your boyfriend offered his face for some of these,” Amita winked back at Jaehyun as they started walking following the path.

The gallery wasn’t super big, but they had a lot of photos to show. It was a project Johnny and Amita did together, mixing photography and graphic design to play with textures, shapes, writings, and much more. It was late so there weren’t many people around and they could enjoy every single print. And now there was only the last room left: shapes and bodies.

Jade was lost admiring a black and white picture; a naked body was laying on the floor, with just a string of light lighting up the side, everything else was covered in darkness but on the lower stomach, there was laid a white calla, that drew all the attention there. It was named ‘Re-birth’.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” Johnny affirmed, coming up to her side, one hand wrapping around her waist. She looked down for a second, shivering at the contact of his fingers on her skin, and then hummed, bringing her attention back to the photo.

“Why it’s called rebirth?” There was an explanation written on the side, but she wanted to hear it from him.

“Because we tend to forget that we can heal,” he replied.

“I still don’t understand. Why is the flower placed there? Why not somewhere else?”

“Because the womb is the place that carries life, but sometimes the only life we have to bring out is our own,” he explained, looking down at her. “Come here, closer,” he said, pushing her gently nearer to the print.

He raised his fingers and pointed to the string of light that lit up the body.

“You see all these scars? They probably will never heal. Fire is not gentle, at all. It’s a miracle she’s even alive. But she is alive, she’s not just a survivor, she’s alive. Now, that’s breaking professional confidentiality, but she told me that the day she lost her family in a fire she lost herself. And just a few months ago she started to see the light again.”

“So, the flower is her rebirth, she’s giving life to a new version of herself.”

“Yeah, kind of. I don’t think we can be brand new, but I believe we can heal. See, she’s barely there, and the light on her body is fading, all the attention of the photo goes to the white flower, to the new beginning. But at the same time, she’s always going to be there. You can’t run away from your past, sometimes. No matter how much you’d love to.”

Jade snickered bitterly and her tone sounded almost mad. “Oh, so you agree with the thought that scars make us who we are and we can’t ever delete them.”

“Because it’s true.”

“No, I don’t want to be my past self.”

“You’re not your past self,” he sighed, turning her around and resting his hand on her shoulder. “But you can’t delete your scars; you can’t erase the pain you felt. It will always be there. But sure, you can move on. We’re talking about flowers, right? You can choose to plant the right flowers on the ashes so they’ll grow and then you’ll be able to have an even better garden, or you can stay there, and keep your piles of ashes.”

“Or you can leave.”

Johnny raised a brow. “Can you, though?”

Jade snickered. “Of course, it’s not easy, but if you work hard, you can do that.”

Johnny nodded. “But can you really leave and be free if you’re still carrying the baggage of what hurt you with you? One thing is leaving from a place with a sting in your chest because you’re going to miss it, and another is leaving with a pain in your chest given by everything you’ve suffered there.”

“That’s not true.”

“The problem is never the place, Jade. You can run away as far as you want, but you will always take your body with you.”

“But I didn’t hurt myself.”

Johnny furrowed; he had sensed the conversation was more personal than what she wanted to let out, but couldn’t inquire now. “But others did. And if you never heal your wounds, they’ll keep bleeding, here, in Paris, in Dubai, and even on the moon.”

Jade felt tears at the corner of her eyes and had to drift her gaze from Johnny.

“What’s going on?” Jaehyun asked, reaching the two and Jade simply shook her head before excusing herself to the bathroom.

They both followed her with their gaze and then Jaehyun glared at Johnny who was still looking in her direction.

“What have you done?”

Johnny shifted his gaze to look at him. “Nothing. Is she… alright?”

“I don’t know, you tell me.”

“No,” Johnny said. “I mean, she never told you anything about her past?”

“About her past? No, she never brings the topic up.”

Johnny hummed silently and then fixed his suit. “You should go check her up.”

Jaehyun was still confused and wanted to know what happened but instead, he walked to the bathroom. He knocked on the door waiting for an answer that arrived later.

“It’s occupied.”

“It’s me, Jade.”

“Oh,” she mumbled, “I’ll be back in a minute. Wait downstairs,” she said, hoping he would listen. A painful groan left her lips while she tried to calm herself down and don’t scratch her fingers more; they were bleeding for fuck’s sake. A painful nervous habit she had since she was a teenager, at first, she thought it was dermatitis acting up again, but it turned out it was just stress. She washed her hands and then opened her purse to grab the hand cream, she didn’t have anything else with her, and maybe that was going to help.

“Are you okay?” Jaehyun asked.

God, why couldn’t he just listen?

“Yes, I’m almost done,” she screamed, waving her hand so the cream would absorb faster.

She rested on the sink with her palm and took deep breaths. And when she raised her head and faced the mirror, a lonely tear dripped down her cheek.

She wasn’t that person anymore, right? She had left everything in the past. She was safe now. Nothing could go wrong. Not when she worked hard to have her own house, paid with the job she studied hard to get, with a lovely boyfriend who supported her.

She had healed. Or maybe she was just good at hiding her fucked up coping mechanism and fears.

She took a deep breath and tried to fix herself, pushing all the thoughts in the back of her head. Maybe Johnny was right, but it wasn’t about her. She was different, she didn’t need professional help to get over anything. Her scars weren’t bleeding anymore even if she never took care of them. It was fine.

Everything was fine.

“I’m sorry if I said something wrong,” Johnny whispered, standing at her side. They were now out of the gallery and were waiting to eat something at a pub. Jaehyun and Amita were standing a little ahead of them in the line and were chatting with each other about something she couldn’t understand.

“You didn’t say anything wrong. I just needed to pee,” she lied, smiling at him.

Johnny narrowed his brow. “Your lipstick,” he then pointed out.

She furrowed, tilting her head in confusion. And when his thumb brushed against her lower lip, she felt her heart stop for a moment until he pulled away.

“Now’s better,” he smiled, winking at her.

She was tempted to touch the portion of skin he had just brushed but Jaehyun’s stern gaze made her snap out of the trance real soon.

“Why do you take a lot of nude photos?” She asked out of nowhere and cursed herself because how the hell was that the first question that popped in her brain now?

“They’re not that much but, to answer your question,” he stopped, his intense eyes glaring at her up and down, “I think bodies can tell so much if you know how to read them.”

She furrowed. “How?”

“I never take nude pictures of people that don’t have stories to tell me. Of bodies that don’t speak. Of skins that have no traces of having lived.”

“How can you go from being a total clown to being so philosophical?” She joked, trying to light up the tension that she was feeling rising inside of her.

“I take my job seriously. Is so easy to tell a wrong message with a photo; they don’t say anything and at the same time they have to tell everything.”

“So, you let bodies do their jobs?”

He shrugged. “Bodies don’t do anything.” She narrowed her brows, trying to follow his explanation. “Bodies are just shells; we give them importance. I don’t care about them, I care about what the owner has to tell me.”

“So, you care about words?”

“Yes, but the words that their bodies tell.”

She threw her head back and exhaled loudly, “you confuse me.”

“Funny, because you’re an open book right now.”

“A what? My body is talking to you?”

His eyes drifted on her for a second, and then he wet his lips by running his tongue on them. “Your body is louder than what you think, Jade. But I can’t listen to it.”

“What are you implying?”

“Nothing,” he shrugged before leaning forward and telling Jaehyun what he wanted to order. He then changed the topic again. “That photo hit close to home.”

She scoffed, shaking her head. “You don’t know it.”

“It spoke to your heart, not your brain. Your brain doesn’t want to listen, and I get it, we have to pretend to carry on. But our hearts hurt, and they crave our deepest needs.”

She sighed. “I asked you one single question and you turned it into this.”

“I answered you. Do you know how vital body communication is? How much we transfer to people without even noticing?”

She nodded. She knew damn well, and unlike him, she hated that. Body language was treacherous, and she always tended to overanalyse it. If Johnny was good at reading bodies, she wasn’t at all. It would only lead to her brain taking dark paths that led to her most insecure thoughts.

“Bodies are amazing when it comes to taking photos, they can be all you want them to be. And I’m not talking about editing after, I’m talking when you’re on set. What you want to show, how you want to show it. Is it a body or a violin? Are those veins or paths in the earth? Are those flaws or just signs that we’re all human?”

She gulped and then found the courage to look up and stare into his eyes. “And what’s my body saying?”

“You’re nervous,” he said. “And you’re never nervous with me, so you’re hiding something.”

“Pft, shut up,” she said, trying to hide the way she was feeling with a light chuckle.

“Something you don’t even know what you’re feeling.”

“I’m not nervous with you, you’re one of my best friends. So, it’s clear you don’t know how to get me,” she joked and then scratched her neck.

Bingo. Johnny thought, and a small smirk curled his lips.

“Give me the chance then.”

She widened her eyes, lips trembling as she grabbed the drink that Amita offered her before she and Jaehyun started walking to a table. “Do you want to have me naked in your studio?”

“I don’t need to have you naked but if you’re interesting enough I could gift you your own ‘re-birth’ photo.”

“No, thanks.”

“Jaehyun can come with you if that’s what scares you.”

Her eyes scanned him. He was serious. Too serious for her own sake. So, she gulped and then turned around, trying to shake the weird sensation she was feeling in her bones.

Whatever it was, she knew it wasn’t going to lead to anything good. 

One week had passed and Jaehyun couldn’t get peace of mind.

He wanted to bring the conversation out again. Try to give her what she wanted; it was only fair for all the things she had been willing to try in bed for him. And yet he couldn’t bring himself to make the first move.

A part of him was kind of excited; it had to be funny, right? People wouldn’t have threesomes if they were a terrible experience. And also, he was pretty sure he had found the right person. Sure, he still didn’t ask but God, how do you bring it up? He couldn’t even go to his girlfriend and tell her he had changed his mind, how could he do that with somebody that wasn’t even part of the relationship?

“Jaehyun.”

“Ah,” he screamed, jumping on the spot. “You scared me.”

“You were zoning out, again,” Jade said, waving a hand in front of him.

“Sorry, sorry,” he replied, running a hand over his face and then between his hair.

“Are you okay?”

He took a deep breath and then shook his head. “No, yes, I mean no. Okay, listen, I don’t know how to tell you, but I changed my mind.”

Jade felt her heart sink in her chest as she grabbed the table to ground herself somewhere. “You want to break up?”

“What? No, God, no.”

“Oh, shit, you scared me,” she screamed angrily at him, fighting the urge to punch him.  

“Johnny.”

She furrowed, tilting her head, not getting what Johnny had to do with them. “Johnny? Are you okay?”

“Yes, I want Johnny to be our third… you know for that.”

Jade widened her eyes and gulped. Was that a joke? A test to see if she was too excited at the idea? Because she was. A lot. Johnny didn’t even cross her mind when they first talked, but now that he was bringing him up… well, he was perfect.

Anyway, she tried to act as if the whole idea wasn’t already making goosebumps show up on her skin. “I thought we moved on from that.”

“I just couldn’t stop thinking about it, the other night, at the gallery.”

“Why?”

“Because you were so hot, and he is too, and he kept flirting, and a part of me wanted to slap him, but the other… the other just travelled places, and I thought that you were comfortable with him too.”

Of course, that night that shook her up and down. That night when Johnny kept teasing her without even noticing. That night when she felt like shit because she couldn’t help but take her eyes off of him.

“I don’t know,” she mumbled, shrugging. “I’m fine like this.”

“But… you wanted to.”

“I don’t want you to do that just because I wanted to.”

“But it’s not. You were right, it’s about the person. I would never do that with anybody else, but Johnny, well, is Johnny.”

“Are you sure?”

Johnny was pretty much confused by whatever was going on that night. It was just another Friday night, and he was like usual at Jade and Jaehyun’s place, but something felt different. From the way the two were dressed —they never dressed up so much when he was coming over— to the flirty words that escaped their lips the whole night.

He raised a brow while staring at Jade who was laughing at something that Jaehyun had said and bit his bottom lip, trying not to let his eyes travel down her collarbones. But the pretty golden necklace that shined against her skin distracted him, and he found himself wondering if she really was as soft as she seemed to be.

Then he raised his gaze and locked it with hers, he briefly noted that Jaehyun wasn’t there anymore, and then he felt her foot graze his knees. His lips curled in a sly smirk, and his eyebrow raised as to silently ask what sick games she was playing that night.

Jade smirked back, brushing the falling strand of hair behind her ear, and took a sip from the glass. Her foot still playing with him under the table and eyes silently flirting with him.

When Jaehyun came back into the room, he snapped out of his trance and coughed.

“The food’s amazing,” he said, praising Jaehyun’s skills and shifting on the chair, confused that Jade not only was still touching him under the table but was still looking at him like that.

“Not the best thing you’ll have tonight.” Jaehyun winked, smiling at him. “If you want to, of course.”

Johnny chuckled lowly, gaze passing from one to the other. They were flirting. They were doing this with a purpose. But Johnny wasn’t one that liked to be left out of the fun.

“Oh, really? Is it something I’ve never tried before?” He asked, resting one hand on the table, and another one went underneath, grabbing Jade’s ankle, catching her by surprise. “Is it something sweet?” He looked at Jade as his hands started caressing the skin of her leg, so fucking soft just like he imagined.

“The sweetest thing you ever tasted in your life,” she answered, resting her elbows on the table to lean in closer, offering her chest with no shame now.

And Johnny’s gaze couldn’t help but fall there, but then he snickered and looked over at Jaehyun. “I don’t know, not sure I’m in the mood for something sweet.”

Jaehyun chuckled, shaking his head. “Always so fucking hard to please.”

Johnny shrugged. “Well when you offer something great, you can’t let me down. Also, I’m your guest, guests should always be pleased and pampered.”

“Then you might want something spicy?” She asked, pulling her leg away from him and getting up from the chair to reach behind him. She lowered, lips brushing against his neck. “Something hot, burning hot. Something you won’t forget.”

Johnny’s eyes locked into Jaehyun’s, to see if all of this really was okay, but when the other simply wet his lips, he couldn’t do anything but keep pushing. “I don’t think you’ll be able to do it,” he teased, turning his head around. Their lips were almost brushing, and Jade could feel her heart beat ten times faster in her chest.

She smirked, pushing away the way he made her feel weak and powerless. “Then test me,” she whispered and then tilted her head to point at Jaehyun, “test us.”

Johnny smiled when his friend reached him too and shook his head, pushing his chair back with his legs so he could look at them both. “What games are you two playing?”

“I thought you got it by now, John,” Jaehyun teased, cocking his head to the side.

“Oh, I do, I just want to make sure this won’t be something we’ll regret,” he explained, standing up and taking a step forward to reach them. “Because I can give you an unforgettable time if you let me.”

Jade smiled, looking up at him, and then her hand brushed against his. “We won’t regret it.”

He smiled, nodding, and then turned to Jaehyun. “And you, jealous boy?”

Jaehyun scoffed. “I want this too, and also, keep in mind that it’s just one night.”

Johnny hummed. “Oh, then if it’s just one night we better hurry, I don’t want to waste a one-time occasion,” he said, grabbing Jade’s hand and pushing her toward the bedroom, waiting for Jaehyun to follow.

Once they reached the room, Jaehyun closed the door behind him and walked to the bed where Johnny and Jade were standing.

“I hope you have great stamina, angel, because I don’t think we’ll be very nice to you,” Johnny said, fingers tracing her curves through the dress, already making her shiver. “I guess that’s what you want, right?” He turned around, looking at Jaehyun briefly and then going back to her.

Jade nodded and Johnny immediately cupped her face. “I haven’t even touched you yet. I don’t accept whimpers as a response before the first two orgasms.”

Jade gulped. “Yes, sir.”

Johnny chuckled, looking back at Jaehyun. “Sir? So, this is how you do?”

“Problems?” Jaehyun asked, raising a brow, and pulling his hand off of her face to replace it with his own.

“No. Other things I have to know before we start?”

“I’m down to pretty much anything, but peach is the safe word if anything makes me uncomfortable.”

“Fine, let’s see how far I can push you then,” Johnny smirked before pushing her down on the mattress.

“We can push her, Johnny.”

“Instead of fighting, can you kiss me?” Jade said, looking at the two men hovering over her at the end of the bed.

Johnny crawled on the bed and trapped her lips in a kiss that left her breathless. Her hands locked in his hair and tugged roughly, making him moan in the kiss. Johnny’s kisses were different than the ones she was used to; he was more patient, taking his time to taste her deeply.

And when they pulled away, she had no time to do anything that Jaehyun was attacking her lips. His kisses: messy, needy for more, hungry as if he was going to lose her at any moment. She pushed him closer by his neck and moaned against his lips when Johnny started trailing kisses down her neck and collarbones.

Jaehyun pulled away and let his hands travel down, pushing down the dress, exposing her chest.

“No bra?” Johnny teased, staring at her hard nipples.

“Surprise,” she chanted, beaming at him.

“Isn’t she pretty?” Jaehyun asked, cupping her left boob, and starting to play with her nipple, making her moan lowly.

“Oh, she is,” Johnny praised. “Bet she looks even better without this dress on.”

“Want to show Johnny how pretty you are?”

Jade nodded before grabbing the hem of the dress, pulling it over her head, and then falling again on the mattress, now completely displayed at their eyes.  

Johnny smiled, taking her body in. He couldn’t deny he found her hot because he always did. But he knew she was off-limit, he wasn’t a dickhead like Minhyuck; he definitely wasn’t going to fuck their friendship up for a woman. But he still had eyes, and the view in front of him was even better than he expected. Her thick thighs somehow were even softer and plumper now that weren’t hidden behind her clothes, and he couldn’t help but imagine his nails digging into her skin while going down on her, making her squirm and moan.

“Speechless?” Jaehyun teased while his hands trailed down to play with her sensitive spot through the laced panties while staring at his friend who was clearly eating her out just with his eyes. “Or are you eager to see more?”

Johnny didn’t answer, but Jaehyun didn’t need an answer, he wasn’t going to let him be the one in control that night anyway. So, he tugged the panties away, ripping them, making her gasp.

“Jae!” She exclaimed, glaring at him. But the stern gaze from her boyfriend made her drop her attitude. “Sorry, sir.”

“Good girl, let’s be good in front of our guest, okay?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Spread your legs more for us, love,” Jaehyun instructed, resting a hand on her knee. “So wet, already,” he teased as soon as she opened her legs, showing them how desperate she already was. Smooth pussy glistening with cum.

“Guess this is my dessert,” Johnny said, leaning down between her legs, pushing her knees up. “Can I have a taste?” He asked, breath fanning right over her wet cunt and eyes locked into hers, staring at her like a hunter looks at his prey.

She hummed and then remembered his words, so she replied, “yes, please, make me feel good.”

A sly smirk curled his lips before he dove down. She was expecting him to start roughly, but instead, he was taking his sweet time even now. His tongue was moving slowly up and down, almost as if he was tasting her. Then his lips wrapped around her clit and sucked, making her roll her head back and moan loudly.

A content smirk bloomed on his face, and he kept moving like this, big hands cupping her thighs and squeezing just enough to make her shiver at the touch.

Jaehyun was staring at the scene, and a strange sensation filled his body. It was weird seeing his girlfriend with another man, yet he couldn’t seem to be jealous. Not even when she seemed to enjoy this so much. It was almost nice being able to fully take in her expression of pleasure. Maybe it was just because it was Johnny, and he trusted him more than anybody else. Maybe it was because he was good and knew exactly what he was doing and even looked so fucking hot right now, head buried between her legs, devouring her as if he was worshipping her.

But he couldn’t just watch, he needed to touch her, too. So, he moved on the bed and started kissing her, trapping her sinful moans in his mouth.

“Fuck, taste so good,” Johnny praised against her folds, making her writhe under him, “even better than what I imagined.”

“Johnny, please,” she moaned, staring at him through half-lidded eyes now that Jaehyun pulled away from her face to kiss and suck her nipples, adding more to the stimulation.

“Please what, angel? I can’t understand what you want.”

She groaned and clasped her thighs around his face when he sucked with more strength on her clit, and his hands started moving on her thighs and belly up to the other boob Jaehyun wasn’t taking care of.

“More,” was the only thing she could mumble, already lost at the sensation. It was even better than what she imagined, and they barely started, but it just felt too good to have so much attention on her, so many hands on her skin, so many eyes looking at her with lust.

“Like this?” Johnny asked, pushing a finger past her entrance while staring at her.

“Yes, fuck,” she whimpered, nodding, and bucking her hips, trying to make him move in and out.

“Stop being so greedy,” Jaehyun ordered, hand pressing against her stomach, pushing her down. “You don’t want Johnny to think you’re desperate, right?”

She denied with a swift movement of her head, but her walls still clenched desperately around his finger.

Johnny slapped the outside of her thigh, making her yelp, and then said, “words.”

“No, I don’t,” she stammered, looking at them with pleading eyes.

Johnny snickered. “I thought it was going to take some more time to break you, and yet, here you are already.” He started moving his fingers and then lowered again, lips and tongue working on her making her squirm under him.

“Johnny, please,” she moaned, trying to rise her hips, but Jaehyun kept pressing her down while his mouth wrapped around her boobs, torturing her nipples, and leaving kisses and small bites on the soft flesh.

“Want to come, pretty angel?”

“Yes, please,” she pleaded.

“So soon?” He teased, stretching her pussy by adding another finger.

“Johnny, please, please, I’ve been good.”

“Can you take more? I don’t plan to make tonight end anytime soon.”

“Yes, I can take it, I promise, I’ll be good.”

Johnny looked at Jaehyun to ask him if she could take much, and when he nodded, he said, “come then, let’s see if you can really take more.” He started sucking her clit again as his three fingers moved faster inside of her, and soon after, she came, moaning and locking her fingers in Jaehyun’s hair as she pushed him even closer to her body.

After she came down from her high, she stared at the two men in front of her who were now completely naked, and gasped. She was used to Jaehyun’s body, but she had never seen Johnny completely naked before. Her eyes wandered up and down on his toned chest, arms, and legs, and her mouth watered, craving to touch every inch of his skin. Already anticipating being pressed under his body and seeing his muscles flex. And then her eyes landed there… Johnny was big. Not like she wasn’t used to Jaehyun, but Johnny was longer, and he wasn’t even lacking in girth. She gulped and looked up at him, who was smirking proudly, and seriously wondered all of a sudden if it had been a good idea.

“What’s wrong, princess? Scared you can’t take it all?”

She shook her head and supported her upper body on her elbows to look at him better. “I can. Don’t underestimate me.” But honestly, she wasn’t sure at all.

“Then prove it to me, come here and have a taste.”

Jaehyun coughed, catching their attention. “A little bit selfish tonight, don’t you think so?”

“Oh, sure, somebody’s dying for attention,” Johnny joked while his thumb caressed her cheek. “Go and take care of him. Show me how good you really are.”

She nodded and crawled to Jaehyun who was standing at the feet of the bed.

“Finally,” he said, brushing her lips with his thumb to part them open, “you know I don’t like to be left out, love.”

“I know. I’m sorry, sir.”

Jaehyun nodded with a smirk on his face before pushing two fingers in her mouth, and she immediately started sucking them, just like he wanted. “Then make it up, babe, and suck my cock.” He pulled out of her and started pumping his hard dick up and down before resting a knee on the mattress at her side and then pushing her down on him.

Her lips wrapped around his length, and she started bobbing her head up and down without breaking eye contact with him. And Jaehyun’s hand firmly took hold of her hair and guided her in the movements.

Johnny moved closer to have a better look, and for a second, her eyes drifted to his face just to go back at Jaehyun when he tapped her cheek to remind her to stay concentrated on him.

“Babe, you have to make up to me.”

She hummed around his cock and kept staring at his eyes. Her breath faltered when his hand reached her neck and gently wrapped around it, not squeezing but just staying there to caress her skin.

“I don’t know if I should ruin your pretty face,” he whispered, thumb caressing her cheek. “Or be good and let you still look like a pretty doll for him.”

She whined, not able to speak since he held her on his dick but felt a rush in her veins at the idea of Jaehyun face fucking her in front of Johnny.

“What do you say, babe?” He asked, pulling her off of him, letting her breathe again.

“Fuck my face, sir, please.”

“Oh, are you sure? You really want to show him how wild you truly are.”

“Yes, please,” she begged and then looked at Johnny who was staring at them with lust-filled eyes.

“Then let’s show him,” he said and then moved her in the same position, but this time gripping her hair harder, moving along his cock as he pleased.

“Fuck, so good,” he moaned as he thrust into her mouth, but not fast and rough like he was used to when they would do this, his strokes were slow and deep almost as if he wanted to feel it completely. “Look so fucking pretty with your lips wrapped around my cock.”

She smiled with her eyes and tried to concentrate on her breathing as she took every inch of him.

“But I wonder how you’d look sucking Johnny’s off,” he said, turning around for a second to face his friend that seemed impatient for that moment. “I think he’s dying to know.” Jaehyun pulled out of her, making her gasp for air, and then took a step back. He lifted her face and kissed her roughly, making more of a mess on her face, and then pushed her in Johnny’s direction. “Show him what you really can do,” he whispered and then walked away, she had no time to see where he was going that Johnny was already making her face his throbbing dick, suddenly reminding her again of how big he was.

She swallowed and then moved on the mattress to find a comfortable position again and all four seemed to be the best.

“Hi, angel,” Johnny cooed, fingers under her chin, caressing her lips and smearing the mix of cum and spit on her face. “Open your pretty mouth for me?”

She did as told and waited impatiently for him to come closer and push his dick into her mouth. When he reached the back of her throat, she whined a little, but Johnny’s gentle caresses on her cheek made her relax and concentrate on her breathing and the sensation of his heavy length on her tongue.

“Shush, you’re doing so well, angel,” he praised before pulling out a little and then thrusting back in.

When Jaehyun’s hands touched her ass, she jumped at the contact, suddenly being brought back down to earth. “Jumpy, baby?” He asked while his fingers gently caressed her ass and made her moan around Johnny’s length. “It’s me,” he whispered against her ear. “Just us, right? We don’t want to add anybody else,” he joked, looking up at Johnny who was still slowly moving in and out of her.

She shook her head for what she could and then cried around Johnny when Jaehyun’s fingers slipped into her pussy again.

“What’s wrong?” Johnny asked, pouting at her. “You promised you could take more, you don’t want to let me down, right?”

She mumbled a barely understandable ‘no’ and the two men snickered. “Good,” Jaehyun said, sitting up straight, “then prove it to us.” And with that, he entered her with his throbbing dick, making her arch her ass up.

“Always so wet for me,” he praised, wrapping his hands around her waist to push her back and forth on his length with each movement making her gag on Johnny’s dick more.

“Taking my cock so well, pretty angel. I think I might get addicted to this,” Johnny retorted, bringing the attention back to him.

Jaehyun snorted. “No, you won’t. Have fun for tonight, because it’s not going to happen again.”

“I can still dream about how her lips feel around me, right?”

“Yes, you can dream,” Jaehyun replied with a smirk on his face, starting to move faster inside of her.

Johnny pulled out of her to make her breathe and she took advantage of it to talk. “Please, can you stop it and just fuck me?”

“See, you’re making her wait when she’s been so good for us,” Johnny said before tapping against her mouth again, waiting for her to open up and take him in again.

Jaehyun rolled his eyes but ignored him and simply started moving fast. She closed her eyes while she tried to keep sucking Johnny off even if the pleasure was overwhelming, not that she was doing much since Johnny was moving in and out of her mouth as he pleased.

“Fuck, you’re so hot, your lips feel so good,” Johnny moaned as he started moving a little bit faster, afraid he was going to push her over her limit.

“She won’t break,” Jaehyun reassured him, sensing his hesitation. “She can take it. Right, baby?”

She hummed around Johnny’s cock, sending vibrations that made him shiver.

“If you say so,” Johnny said before pulling away. “Take a deep breath, angel, and keep your mouth open for me, won’t you?”

She nodded and then let her mouth hang open, jaw relaxed to let him have full access.

“Fuck,” Johnny groaned when he started speeding up and her watery eyes looked up at him.

“See, I told you,” Jaehyun said, hands roaming on her body as he kept thrusting into her hard, making her moan and whimper, lewd sounds muffled by Johnny’s dick. “She can take so much. Such a good girl for us.”

Jade rolled her eyes and whined feeling on the edge of coming again. She never imagined it would actually feel so good and now she felt overwhelmed with emotions. Jaehyun’s hands on her body, Johnny’s hand wrapped at the base of her neck, their moans, the sounds of their skins slapping together, the mess they were both making out of her. It was all too much that it made her head spin so fast that when the orgasm washed over her, she didn’t even have time to warn them, to ask them if she could and she didn’t even try to hide it.

Just when Johnny pulled away, making her breathe and cough, trying to fill her lungs of air again and she heard Jaehyun’s disapproval click of the tongue, she realized she had fucked up.

“Babe, seriously?”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t… I didn’t mean to. No, don’t pull away,” she whined when Jaehyun slipped out of her too and she tried to sit up, but Johnny held her right there. “Come back here, I can come again.”

“Oh, I don’t really care if you will,” Jaehyun replied, kneeling in front of her, and then he chuckled. “Look at you, a fucking mess,” he mocked, wiping the mess of spit and pre-cum off her chin. “Open up,” he ordered and then pushed some of it back into her mouth. “Swallow.” And she did, pleading eyes looking up at him. “Good girl.”

“What do we have to do with you?” He asked, standing up.    

“Fuck me, please. I’ll be good this time, I promise,” she mumbled, trying to don’t sound too desperate.

“I don’t know, you said that also before and yet, look at you.”

“No, please, please,” she begged and tried to sit to reach him but Johnny’s hand on her shoulder pushed her further back down, head against the mattress.

She whined and tried to look up at them but before she could say anything Johnny spoke, “I want you to ride me.”

“W-what?”

Johnny scoffed. “What? Two orgasms only and you already don’t understand what we say to you?”

She shook her head and then mumbled, “no, I – I do, sorry.”

“Then come on, get up and ride my cock. Show me what you can do.”

She got up as soon as he moved his hand away from her shoulder and sat on the bed, waiting for him to lay on the mattress.

“What’s wrong? Scared you’ll have to use some muscles?” He teased, resting a hand on her waist as she sat on his lap.

“I can do it, I’m good at it,” she said, even if she knew that in that position wasn’t going to last long. Not after two orgasms at least.

“Then show me, I won’t repeat another time,” he ordered, squeezing her flesh to make her lift her hips and grab the base of his dick before she started to push it past her walls. She was wet and already stretched from Jaehyun, yet when he was fully in, she felt the air getting cut from her lungs.

“Thought you could take it?” Johnny teased, hand moving to cup her ass and squeeze it, making her clench around him.

“I can, just — fuck, give me a little bit of time.”

“A little bit selfish of you to ask for time when you already came twice and we didn’t come once for the whole night, don’t you think so?” Jaehyun remembered her before his hand wrapped around her waist and he started moving her up and down on Johnny’s dick.

“Fuck,” she moaned, rolling her head back. “I can do this alone,” she whined, looking back at Jaehyun.

“Then fucking do it and don’t complain,” he whispered in her ear before pulling away and sitting next to them to enjoy the show.

She glared at him briefly and started bouncing up and down with more strength, feeling herself getting stretched with every movement. Feeling him so deep inside. And his hands firmly touched her curves, while Jaehyun intensely looked at them, lazily pumping himself.

“Fuck, look at how good you are at this,” Johnny praised, wetting his lips as his eyes wandered on her body and then stilled right where they met, her pussy slapping down on him with every bounce, generating obscene sounds as their skins connected and her wetness dripped down his length to his balls. “So pretty, so soft,” he moaned, cupping her boobs, making her whine louder.

She rolled her head back and let her mouth hang open, feeling her thighs already get tired due to the fast rhythm of her movements.

“Johnny, please,” she mumbled through moans.

“What, baby? You said you could take it. Said you could fuck yourself on my cock.”

She groaned and then let her head fall over, hands resting on his shoulder for more support, without answering. She couldn’t do it. It was too much. Too good. And she felt herself getting too lost in pleasure to even set a steady rhythm.

Johnny scoffed at her and then flipped her over without a warning, making her snap her eyes open in surprise. “So selfish, you can’t even do as a little favour. Guess now I’ll have to fuck you hard and rough.” She opened her mouth to complain but Johnny didn’t give her time that he was immediately pushing her body higher from the mattress and thrusting into her hard and fast.

So, she laid there, rolling her head back, squeezing her eyes shut, nails digging into the flesh of his forearms, and letting him rail her mercilessly.

“Fuck, ’s too much,” she blabbered, feeling tears at the corner of her eyes.

“No, babe, you can take it. You will take it,” Johnny replied, letting go of her legs to trap her under his body, hands planted at the sides of her head on the mattress, their chest brushing together as they both breathed heavily.

Jade let out a cry as she felt another orgasm approach, but she knew she couldn’t slip twice on the same mistake, she couldn’t come so soon.

“Look at me, angel,” Johnny ordered, forcing her to open her eyes. “Crying? Is this really too much? Want me to stop?”

“No,” she almost screamed, wrapping her legs around his waist to keep him there. “No, please, I — I, fuck, like it.”

“Of course, you do, that’s what you wanted since the start, right?”

“Yes, yes, shit,” she slurred, feeling herself being dragged into another world by now.

“Look at you, love, you’re a fucking mess,” Jaehyun teased, hand caressing her cheek and she was remembered they weren’t alone and that of course Jaehyun wanted one round too. “Shh, pretty girl, don’t cry. You’re taking him so well. Fills you up so good, right?”

She nodded, turning her head to the side just to look at her boyfriend and kiss him. She was now a stammering mess, no chance of talking, no chance of letting them know she was close. But Jaehyun knew her, he knew her so damn well that he could read her body even if he wasn’t the one fucking her.

“Oh, poor baby, wants to come, doesn’t she?” He cooed with a mocking tone.

Jade simply nodded, pleading for the release with broken moans and whimpers and watery eyes. “Fuck, you feel so good,” Johnny moaned. “Want to feel you more but, God, your pussy’s sucking me so good, so fuck, wet.”

“Then come for her, she’s been good.”

“Where — where do you want me to come?” Johnny asked moving one hand to push her leg closer to her chest.

“In-inside please, come in me, fuck,” she begged with a string of voice. Johnny almost growled at the request and then lifted her legs up, thrusting deeper and faster sending her over the edge with an explosive orgasm as he came inside of her, filling her up to the brim, cum dripping down on the sheets and between her thighs. “Fuck — fuck, that was good,” he panted, strokes slowing down and head resting against hers. He let go of her legs and caressed her cheek. “You’ve been so good for me, so, so good.”

She smiled tiredly and then whined when he pulled out of her. She felt empty. But the sensation didn’t last long ‘cause Jaehyun was on top of her. She looked up at him with tired eyes and he smirked. “You destroyed my pretty baby. But she’ll take more.”

“No, I —”

“You will take more, right?” He stopped her, glaring at her. “I’ve been on the edge the whole night because of you. You put yourself in this situation and now you’ll take the consequences. I’m giving you time to take deep breaths, come on.”

His hands travelled on her body and then he spun her around, face down and ass up. “And now let me fuck you good,” he whispered in her ear. A mocking chuckle rolled out of his mouth when her ass arched up. “Crying that you can’t do it and you beg for more.”

“Please, I need you,” she whined. Yes, she was tired but somehow, she still wanted more. There was something so electrifying about all of that, and she didn’t want it to stop anytime soon.

“And you have me. Fuck,” he moaned when he slipped inside of her. He rolled his head back, staying still for a second, just enjoying the sensation of being wrapped so perfectly by her wet walls. And then he started driving in and out of her, strokes slow but precise, aiming for the exact spot that made her head spin around while his hands rested on her ass and waist, pushing her back into him.

“’S good,” she moaned, voice muffled by the bedsheets.

“Yeah? It’s good being fucked over and over again, isn’t it? Look at all the cum dripping out of you. Want me to fill you up some more? Stuff you full of our cum?”

“Yes, please, please, sir, please,” she mewled, the fourth orgasm of the night so fucking close now.

“Then milk my cock, baby, squeeze around me, make me come,” Jaehyun ordered, slipping a hand under her body to play with her clit. A choked cry slipped past her lips, and Johnny caressed her hair, praising her and teasing her as Jaehyun kept moving mercilessly inside of her.

“That’s right, just like that,” he encouraged, feeling himself closer and closer to reaching his high. He had been on the edge the whole night, he really couldn’t last long. “Come around my cock, fuck. Come.”

And she almost came on command, clenching around him incredibly tighter that Jaehyun stilled inside of her, bursting white spurts of cum inside her cunt, mixing up with hers and Johnny’s. “Fuck,” he moaned and then collapsed over her. “You did so well, love,” he praised against her neck, leaving a small peck on her skin before slipping out of her and collapsing on the side.

“So, I guess my job here is done,” Johnny said, stretching his back and then running a hand over his head while he sat on the bed, looking back at his friends who were laying on the mattress.  

“Don’t leave, it’s late,” Jade said, grabbing his wrist to pull him back down.

“We don’t fit here, and also, I don’t want to get between you two.”

Jaehyun rolled his eyes. “You are always between us and now it’s a problem?”

“But usually we don’t fuck.”

“Oh, come on, just stay here,” he said. “Keep her company while I go grab a wet cloth to clean her up.”

“Fine,” Johnny gave up and then laid down on the bed. “We made quite a mess,” he joked, looking down between her legs.

Jade chuckled and then snuggled closer to him. “We did. But thank you for accepting to do this. It would’ve been awkward if you weren’t into this.”

Johnny laughed. “Rejecting fucking with two hot people like you? I would be a fool for saying no.”

The thing with Johnny was supposed to be just a fun night of sex. Nothing more, nothing less. Nothing was supposed to change after that. It was always going to be her and Jaehyun, and Johnny would still be their dearest friend.

Yet, things didn’t go as planned.

Jade didn’t quite know if she was going insane, if it was just in her mind, or if she actually felt something. But whatever it was, she knew she hated it.

Johnny never seemed to be the same after that night. Or worse, the problem was that she felt that Johnny stopped being the same for her long before that night.

It was all the evenings spent together, all the time they would go around town together, all the time that Johnny simply existed.

And now she didn’t know what to do. Not when she seemed to be the only one that had lost her mind. Not when Jaehyun was peacefully laughing with his best friend while they were playing games on the TV in their living room unaware of what his girlfriend was thinking.

She cursed inside her head. Why the hell he always had to come to their place? Why couldn’t Jaehyun stay at his for one? She wouldn’t have minded a night alone. But no, Johnny was always there, always. So much that not having him around almost felt strange.

And she hated herself for feeling whatever she was feeling. She didn’t want to give Jaehyun another heartbreak, also in the same exact way her ex did. But she didn’t know what to do. She was more than sure she still loved him, her feelings for him were never put to the test. She simply suspected she felt something also for someone else. But… was that possible? How can you love two people at once? And how can they accept it?

She shook her head, trying to push the thoughts out of her mind, and got up from the armchair to grab a glass of water.

“Are you okay?”

“What are you doing here? Weren’t you playing?” She almost screamed after hearing Johnny’s words.

“We just saw you run here; we were concerned.”

She turned around and saw that Jaehyun was there too, as worried as the other, staring at her.

She sighed and nodded, lowering her head, she pressed her fingers against her temple and put the glass back down. “I’m tired, spent the whole morning on the pc to work for a client and my eyes are burning.”

“Were we too loud?” Jaehyun asked, trying to grab her hand but she pulled away, shaking her head.

“No, it’s not your fault. I’ll just go to bed,” she said, walking around the table so she could reach the door without walking between them. They stared at her with a confused expression but didn’t ask anything. “Wake me up for dinner if I’m still sleeping,” she told Jaehyun, and then she turned around to face Johnny. “See you, Johnny.” And without waiting for an answer, she rushed to their bedroom.

She closed the door behind and rested her back against it, breathing deeply. What the hell was wrong with her? What was running in her mind?

She pushed the tears back and walked to the closet, opening it to grab one of Jaehyun’s shirt and put it on.

She had to get these foolish thoughts out of her mind. She was being a terrible person and was doing to Jaehyun exactly what she had promised she would never do.

She walked to the bed and got under the sheets, placing her head on his pillow, inhaling his scent.

It was just a stupid, purely sexual, crush. She was going to forget about Johnny soon.

“Why are you pissed?”

“I’m not, I just don’t get it. You moved into that house like two years ago, right? Why are you buying things just now?” Jade asked while they kept walking around Ikea. She had no idea why she had accepted in the first place, but she was alone at home, Jaehyun was out of town for a shooting, and had nothing better to do.

“Damn, already two years?” Johnny said, frowning while he stopped thinking for a second when he went living there.

“Yeah, old man.”

“Old man? I’m just two years older than you, sweetie,” he replied with an offended tone. She pushed him lightly, walking between the lamps, trying to think about what could’ve fit well in his living room. “You didn’t seem to mind while I was making you squirm and shake under me, though,” he whispered right above her ear, making her freeze in her spot and her heart skip a beat.

“Stop it,” she mumbled through gritted teeth. “Stop talking about that night.”

Johnny chuckled, walking past her. “This one is pretty,” he said, pointing at a golden lamp as if nothing happened.

“No,” she replied, shaking her head, going back there, “that’s horrible. Your living room is all black and white, that doesn’t fit.”

“See, I needed you,” he smirked.

Jade rolled her eyes. “You’re just testing me at this point.”

“If you loved me, you would’ve said it was cute.”

“No, if you love somebody, you’re honest with them,” she replied, checking the tag on a black lamp that fit the aesthetics of his place.

Johnny moved next to her and brushed her hair back, and then said, “so you love me.”

She widened her eyes and took a step back. “What’s wrong with you today?”

“No, what’s wrong with you,” Johnny replied before pulling out a blank paper to sign the code of the lamp she picked. “I always flirted with you, and you always jokingly flirted back,” he turned around, facing her again. “But now, one word from my mouth and you’re all flustered.”

Jade swallowed and pursued her lips together. Trying hard to look at him in the eyes and show nonchalance, she forced a laugh to slip past her mouth and then shook her head. “I just don’t want you to get strange ideas after what happened.”

“I don’t have strange ideas,” he said, intertwining their arms and dragging her around the store, entering the section of the bedrooms. “I wasn’t the one that proposed that. You, on the other end, seemed to be really into that.”

“It just was funny, you wanted me to don’t enjoy it?”

“Oh no, but I didn’t want it to change what’s between us,” he replied, and his voice was suddenly serious. No jokes, no teasing, just honesty. “Listen, I’ll be honest, I deeply care for you, okay?” Jade nodded, feeling her throat go dry, and suddenly she didn’t want to be that close to him, but couldn’t pull away. “But I also care about Jaehyun. And, as much as I don’t want to lose any of you, I especially don’t want to lose him.”

“Why would you lose him?” She asked, staring at the ground, suddenly not liking the turn this conversation was taking.

Johnny stopped suddenly and forced her to look at him. “You don’t look at me the same way you did before, and as much as I’d love to give in,” he admitted, eyes falling on her lips for a second, “I can’t hurt him just like Minhyuck and Minju did. I can’t give him the same kind of pain I pulled him out years ago.”

Jade didn’t say a thing but felt her heart fall apart in her chest. That wasn’t something she was expecting to hear today, but also, she never imagined it would hurt so bad.

“Trust me when I tell you, you have been the only light that shined on him after so much darkness, you saved him like I wanted to do, but never could. And I can’t get between this, I can’t lose him, and make him lose you, and also lose you.”

“You… you loved him?”

Johnny sighed, shaking his head. “I never said I stopped doing it.”

“Oh my,” she gasped, suddenly realizing how much more complicated the whole situation was.

“I can’t have you more than friends, but I’m happy that you two have each other. So please, let’s just keep being friends, it’s what’s best for all of us.”

She nodded, trying to push back her tears, crying in the middle of Ikea definitely wasn’t something she planned to do. “You do know I love him, right? I’m not like her.”

Johnny nodded, gently caressing her shoulder, and smiling at her. “I know, and that’s why I’m telling you not to hurt him.”

Jade tried to do what she promised Johnny, but she didn’t have much control over her emotions. By now, the more she tried to convince herself it was just a silly crush, the more her heart told her it was love. But she couldn’t wrap her head around it. How could that be possible? And most importantly, how was she going to fix that?

She knew Jaehyun wasn’t dumb. He had seen the way she had changed. He had noticed how she would always slip away every time that Johnny came over —less than usual— and she was also sure that that made him suspect even more. He had seen how many small things she started doing for him.

She felt guilty, and since she couldn’t prove how much she still cared for him with words and to herself in her mind, she tried to spoil him with other attention.

But that only made Jaehyun question more and more what was going on. She always loved doing small acts of service for him, maybe baking his favourite cake, or doing something she knew he didn’t like doing, or when she would play his favourite albums when he came back after a long day out. But now, it had all become too much. It was almost as if she was trying to silently ask for forgiveness for something she did.

Jaehyun didn’t want to overthink too much, probably he shouldn’t have, that was what his therapist would’ve told him —only if he went to therapy. But with the excuse of not having somebody that he had to pay to fix his toxic defensive mechanism, he didn’t care much about what was right or not.

He already did that once, and well, we all know what happened.

“Why is this the second time this week you prepare tiramisu for me?” He asked, leaning against the countertop, watching her dip the ladyfingers in the coffee.

“Why? Isn’t this your favourite?”

“Yeah, but you’re acting strange lately. What’s going on?”

Jade chuckled. “For preparing your favourite sweet?”

“Not only that, you’re doing so much for me.”

“Oh, sorry for taking care of you. Do you want me to stop?”

Jaehyun shook his head. “You’re doing too much lately.”

“Fine, I won’t do it anymore. I had just started anyway,” she replied bitterly, pushing the tray back and turning around to grab a cloth to clean her hands.

“See, you don’t get me and take it personally.”

“I’m not taking it personally, you’re getting mad at me because I love you, what the fuck.”

“I’m not mad at you, I didn’t raise my voice at you, or done anything of that kind,” he explained, his voice was calm and collected unlike hers, and yet, she felt targeted.

“But you are mad at me.”

Jaehyun furrowed. “How do you even know?”

“Your voice, the way you asked me that question, your body, everything.”

Jaehyun stared at her in shock. “I was just talking to you, I thought that was what you wanted in our relationship.”

“But I,” she huffed loudly, throwing the cloth on the sink, “talking is not getting mad at each other for nothing.”

“You started getting mad at me.”

She scoffed and then turned around. “Uh, sure, I did.”

“I wasn’t attacking you. I don’t know why you took it like that, but I wasn’t attacking you. I was just trying to confront you.”

“Confronting me because I do things for you?” She snapped, feeling tears at the corner of her eyes. “It’s always that, right? I’m too much. I try too hard, right? God, I never do anything right,” she groaned, and through the tears and the rush of the moment she accidentally made a plate fall to the ground and cut herself.

“Fuck,” she cursed, holding her hand.

“Don’t do that, let me see,” Jaehyun said, walking near to her, trying to get a look at her hand, but she pulled away, almost falling.

“No,” she replied sternly. “I’m fine. I don’t need help.”

Jaehyun looked at her. “You’re bleeding, Jade, please, come here.”

“I can do this myself,” she almost screamed, trying to walk out of the room avoiding the shattered porcelain.

“But you don’t have to, I’m here.”

“I always survived with no help. I can fix a little cut.”

“It’s not a little cut,” Jaehyun said, pulling her back into the kitchen.

“Leave me alone. I don’t need your help.”

“So, you can do things for me, but I can’t help you now that you’re hurt?”

“Oh, you’re right, I should let you help me so I can get mad at you for it.”

“I wasn’t mad at you. Why do you think people are mad at you when they try to talk? Why do you want communication so much but then you can’t take it?”

She looked up at him in disbelief, shaking, feeling her heart clench in her chest.

“I’m sorry,” he said, trying to hug her, but she walked past him swiftly and ran to the bathroom.

“Jade, please, can we talk? I don’t want to fight for something stupid.”

“It’s not stupid. I don’t know what to do, I just want to give you all I have, and I feel like I’m not doing enough, and yet here you are telling me I’m doing too much and, fuck,” she mumbled through tears, trying to grab the tools to remove the splinter in her palm. “I don’t know what to do, you’re the best thing that happened to me, and I don’t want to lose you, but I’m so scared, so fucking scared,” she cried, falling to the ground, giving Jaehyun space to open the door just enough to creep in.

“Hey,” he whispered, sitting down next to her. “Come here, don’t cry.”

“I’m sorry,” she mumbled, apologizing for something he didn’t even know about. And she wasn’t even sure she was going to tell him. Johnny was right, they couldn’t lose each other, and that was the best for everyone, pretend. But she had spent her whole life pretending, she wasn’t sure she could do it more.

“It’s okay, it happens. Maybe you’re a little stressed from work,” he reassured her, caressing her cheek, and that made her break down even more. He was so naïve, he trusted her so much, and yet she was feeling things for his best friend. The same story happening twice. “Let me see your hand, love. If the ceramic digs deeper, it will hurt more, and I won’t be able to pull it out.”

She showed him her hand and watched as he carefully took care of it.

“You know what my mom used to do when she had to remove splinters?” She shook her head. “She used to sing me a song, she had made it up, and she would ask me what I saw, but I used to answer seriously and she scolded me, saying that I had to travel far in my mind, picture I wasn’t there, and so I wouldn’t feel the pain.”

“And it worked?”

“It didn’t,” he laughed, “but I didn’t like to see her sad, so I would squeeze my eyes tight and purse my lips and pretend I didn’t feel the pain. And it was nice hearing her sing. I always forced her to sit down a little more, telling her that only her voice could cure the pain.” He smiled fondly after disinfecting the tweezers and looking up at her. “Was there something your mom used to do, or do you want me to sing you a song?”

She chuckled, trying to push down her throat the bitterness. “No, sing me your song, please.”

“Okay, but you have to close your eyes and travel far away from here. No cheating. When I’m done, I want to know where you went without me.”

She laughed but then closed her eyes and tried to think about a place she always wanted to go. And her mind immediately drifted to Paris; the Eiffel Tower, the Latin Quarter, the cemeteries, the bakeries, and when he pulled out the splinters, she didn’t feel much, maybe for Jaehyun it didn’t work, but for her it did. Maybe because she never had a moment like that with her mom, or maybe because she was so much in pain mentally that that was nothing, but it didn’t matter.

“Little, little, shiny stars, now come back here to your mom,” he finished singing. “Well, I’m not your mom, but that was the original line, you know, it made sense for us.”

Jade chuckled, before caressing his cheek. “I’m here, mom,” she joked.

“Great. The first time she did that, I thought it was magic, and I was terrified of being trapped there.”

“Oh, so scary.”

“Well, I always fantasized about being in the savanna surrounded by lions and other big animals, so I had all the right to be terrified.”

“Oh, you would go that far. I went for a safer option, instead.”

“Oh, really? Let me guess, Paris?”

“Wait, how did you guess?”

“You seem like the romantic type. I mean, I know you are a romantic type. It was either that or Venice, but I went for the most obvious.”

“Sorry, I’m boring, but I feel safer between baguettes than lions,” she joked.

“I was a curious kid, and I also grew attached to a little lion I had seen in a documentary. I had found out mothers in nature forget their children if they don’t keep up with them and I was emotionally devasted.”

“Yeah, so you decided to take the matter in your hand and directly save him.”

“Yes, I just wanted to bring him to my mom, she wouldn’t have left him behind. She would’ve protected him and cured him like she used to do with me, and he would’ve been happy.”

Jade smiled at him, and Jaehyun could bet there was sadness in her eyes, but as much as he wanted to ask more, he didn’t and simply smiled back at her.

“You had a great relationship with her,” she noted, shifting to sit better on the hard floor.

“I still do, I miss her like crazy,” he said, smiling sadly, “but I’m glad I didn’t leave for America with them. I wouldn’t have you.”

Her heart broke even more, but she forced a smile on her face.

“When the whole thing with Minju happened, my mom wanted me to go back with them. She insisted so much that at a point I feared she was going to drag me by my hair. But then she accepted my choice.”

“And what made you stay?”

“Johnny.”

Good. Fucking great. It just kept getting worse. 

“You really care about him.”

“I do, he’s the only one that has always been by my side. I don’t know what I’d do without him,” he said, finishing the bandage around her hand and leaving a small kiss on her bandaged hand. “You should meet my parents, by the way. I’m sure they’ll love you.”

Jade felt her heart stop. “Mhh, no, don’t you think it’s too soon?”

“It’s been more than two years now; I think we’re okay. We are, right?”

“Yeah, we are,” she said, voice shaking. “But it’s a big step. I never met anyone’s parents. I don’t think I’m good at it.”

“They don’t bite. As long as you don’t hurt me, they are nice. But considering my mom didn’t kill the other two, I think she’ll go easy on anybody. Nothing worse than that can happen again,” he chuckled, getting up to put the things back at their place.

And Jade simply sat there, feeling even worse than before.

“Hey,” Jaehyun said, kneeling in front of her, lifting her chin with his fingers, “what’s wrong?”

She shook her head and shrugged. “I just, I don’t think I’m ready for that.”

Jaehyun beamed and left a small peck on her lips. “It’s okay. When you’re ready, you’ll meet them.”

She kissed him back, feeling tears menacing to drip down her face again, and then whispered, “I don’t deserve you.”

During July, Jade and Jaehyun took a week off and decided to travel around, they couldn’t go far or afford a proper holiday, but it was just enough to unwind from work and heart problems.

And it worked. Being on the road brought them back to their little Sunday trips they used to do during college, after the exams, when they could finally breathe again. They would get in the car and just drive with no destination.

And now it wasn’t much different, except for the fact they knew where they were going and mostly could at least afford a small bed and breakfast in Scotland.

But everything that’s good ends, and a week wasn’t enough to push somebody out of Jade’s mind. Or better, it had worked, but as soon as they got back to their everyday routine the weight on her chest was once again not making her breathe.

Then one afternoon, like a revelation, an article popped up while she was scrolling on the internet. She had been working on a project all day and was exhausted, so she decided to take a small break. Eating something, drinking a cold drink, and just seeing what she had been missing.

Right when she was about to lock her phone and go back to her job, an article caught her eye.

“Loving more than one person at the same time. What is polyamory?”

She hesitated for a moment, thinking it wasn’t serious, but then she clicked on it, maybe it was nothing, or maybe it was going to answer a lot of questions.

“Polyamorous people have multiple loving, intentional, and intimate relationships at the same time. Polyamory is a type of open or non-monogamous relationship that follows certain guidelines. Polyamory specifically refers to people who have multiple romantic relationships at the same time. It does not mean any type of open relationship that may include more casual sexual partners. In polyamorous relationships, each partner is aware of the other ones. Partners may also have relationships or friendships with each other.”

Jade’s eyes widened as she read through every line of that article and covered her open mouth with a hand. So, it was possible to love more than one person at the same time? And she wasn’t crazy or selfish for also loving somebody else.

She took a breath of relief as she felt her heart get lighter. It still was a terrible situation, but at least she might’ve found out something more. Now she had something to hold on to, she might’ve been poly all this time and simply didn’t know. Or was Johnny the only exception?

Deciding to dig into this once and for all, she searched more and somehow felt even more confused than before because she couldn’t give herself any answers.

“There are many ways to figure out if you’re polyamorous. Look back on your relationships. Are you able to be fulfilled by a single person, or do you frequently find yourself craving love and sex outside of your relationship? If it’s the latter, you may be polyamorous. If you feel capable of being in love with and committed to two people at once, you may be polyamorous.”

She read in another article, but the thing was that she didn’t fall for Johnny because she was missing something in her other relationship, she was happy and fulfilled with Jaehyun. And she never felt like she needed to crave love or sex outside of any of her relationships, not like she had many, but still. So why all of a sudden, she felt something for him? She was sure her feelings didn’t start that night, probably just made it worse, but surely it wasn’t just a sex thing. But why it never happened before?

The article, and many others she read, also said that it was possible to move from a monogamous relationship into a polyamorous one as long as the other partner was okay with it, and the key to success and making everybody comfortable was communication. But that didn’t bring her any joy. Jaehyun didn’t like to share, she knew it, and she couldn’t even blame him. She had no idea how he accepted the threesome, imagine a relationship where she wasn’t just his girlfriend anymore but his best friend’s also.

But, putting Jaehyun to the side for a second, and trying to at least pull herself together, she wondered if she could actually enjoy a relationship of that kind. Not only she had never imagined herself with two people, but she knew damn well how she felt about love, romance, and relationships.

It was hard for her to love somebody and try to balance between all the little fucked up toxic mechanisms she still couldn’t let go of. Not to be cliché, but she was a mess. And in the past, it was hard because she didn’t want to hurt others, so she always ended up hurting herself. And things with Jaehyun had been going oddly well, but could it still be the same even if he accepted this?

She sighed, running a hand through her hair, and sighed. “What if I fuck this up and then I found out I’m not made for this?” She asked herself under her breath.

She had found a small answer that only opened more and more questions that were running through her mind making her feel dizzy.

It was a maze with no way out, and she was going insane.

“I don’t know, she just seems strange, one minute she’s super clingy and then the next one it’s like she’s pushing me away,” Jaehyun huffed while he avoided a punch from Johnny. It was their gym day and for a while, Johnny decided to start boxing with him.

“Talk to her.”

“I can’t,” Jaehyun sighed, throwing a right and then bending to avoid the counterattack. “Every time I try to talk to her, she gets super defensive and says I’m attacking her when I’m not. The last time she had a breakdown, it was terrible.”

Johnny furrowed, and when he felt his brain starting to trail off, he called for a break. “You never fought before?”

“Well, after the stupid bickering at college, no? I mean, somehow, we’re always on the same track, and the few times that something happened, she wasn’t so defensive. I know she doesn’t like fights, she never tells me anything, but I guess they’re triggering, like a lot.”

“And she never told you why?” Johnny asked before drinking from the bottle while keeping his eyes on Jaehyun who was looking at the wall in front of him.

“No,” he sighed, shaking his head to throw his hair back. “I love her, don’t get me wrong, but sometimes I feel like I don’t know her at all.”

“Just because she doesn’t tell you about her past?”

“I mean, I have to know why she’s like this or what hurt her so I can help her, right?”

“Or maybe you could just avoid doing the things you know trigger her without having a reason why.”

“But I already do. Trust me that I wasn’t attacking her, I just wanted to talk about something that’s lingering in my brain, but she thought I was attacking her. That’s why I think she’s hiding something.”

Johnny stared at him and then said, “about her past… or?”

“About everything. What if I’m unconsciously doing something that’s hurting her, but she won’t tell me because she thinks I’ll react badly? How do I make her understand that she can trust me with everything? I don’t want to jinx it, but I have hopes that this could last, so I need to know that I’m doing everything right. I can’t spend the rest of my life with her if she doesn’t tell me what’s going on inside her brain,” Jaehyun sighed. “And if it’s something serious and she doesn’t want to talk to me, she can go to a therapist, we’ll find the money somehow, I’ll do three jobs if that’s what it takes to help her.”

Johnny kept silent. He wanted to tell him that it wasn’t only that but didn’t. That was the pact, not telling him anything. But from what he heard from his friend, she was doing worse than he thought. How much into him was she? And how bad her past was?

“I’m sorry, I didn’t want to throw my negativity at you,” Jaehyun apologized, patting Johnny’s shoulder, and then walking back to the middle of the ring.

“Oh, no, I was just thinking. Maybe you should bring the therapist up, but in a way she won’t take it as an attack, you know.”

“I don’t know, I already brought my parents up and she freaked out.”

“You wanted her to meet your parents?” Johnny asked in disbelief. That soon?

“Why you’re making me look like I’m out of my mind? Yes, I’m serious with her and, I don’t want to scare her away, but I want my mom to meet her.”

“Are you sure?” He wanted to ask, ‘What if something goes wrong like last time?’ but avoided it for the sake of not getting punched to death.

“We’ve dated for two years, lived together for three, and now it’s the second place we have together. We have a great relationship; I don’t see what could go wrong.”

“But what if your mother makes some of her comments?”

“Like?”

“Like, when are you getting married, when are you having kids, and what if this scares her?”

“She won’t, she knows we’re young. The only reason why she wondered with my ex was because we had been together for five years and she was the one going around dreaming about our future together, right before my friend’s dick seemed better than everything we planned.”

“And are you sure she’s okay she’s not Korean?”

Jaehyun rolled his eyes. “Is this a nice not so nice way to encourage me to don’t make her meet mine?”

“I was just saying, I know your mom but never heard her concerns coming to the people you dated, and I don’t want it to turn into a terrible dinner for her.”

“It’s not happening anyway, she doesn’t want to, and I’m okay with it. But with everything that is going on, I can’t help but wonder if she doesn’t want to not because she’s scared but because she doesn’t love me anymore.”

“What the fuck does it mean you love him?” Jaehyun screamed, standing up from the chair and making it fall to the ground with a loud sound, making Jade shake a little.

“Please, can you sit, can we talk?”

“No, fuck, I’m not talking about you telling me you’re in love with my best friend, fuck,” he retorted, staring at her with a broken, yet angry, expression. His nostrils flared in anger.

“I didn’t say that. I said that I also love him, but I still love you.”

“That’s not fucking possible, I don’t care what an article on the internet says, you can’t love two people at once, what the fuck.”

“It’s not some article, please, sit and let me explain.”

“No,” he said. “You already did. You are polyamorous and found out just now, after staying with me for two fucking years, after I explicitly asked you for just one fucking thing, and that was don’t cheat on me and don’t hurt me the way she did. And here you are, for fuck’s sake, you did the same thing she did, but with Johnny, goddamn,” he slammed his fist against the end of the table and she hugged her body to stop it from shaking so evidently.

“I didn’t.”

“You didn’t? You didn’t? You just told me! Well, thank you, at least I didn’t have to come into my room and find your legs spread open while he was fucking you but don’t think that it hurts any less. God,” he screamed, hands locked in his hair as he pulled harshly.

“I didn’t cheat.”

“I don’t care. You love him, it doesn’t change a thing. You were the one talking about a healthy relationship, no fights, no cheating, and all those bullshits, and you are the one doing this to me,” he replied, voice stern but shaking from tears that were menacing to fall. “Bullshits! You knew that all along, you can’t not know that you are whatever the fuck you said you are and then, boom, all of a sudden find out.”

“Yes, have you ever heard it? Do people talk about it? Is it normalized? The only things that I’ve seen were sexual, but this is not.”

“This was all a fucking plan to get your revenge on me, wasn’t it? I made your first year of college a living hell I had to pay somehow, right?”

“What? You think I don’t love you? You think I would give you so much of me just for a joke?”

“Give me what exactly? Give me what, Jade? You never fucking opened up with me, you never told me anything about who you were before coming here to London. You barely tell me anything about who you are right now, I wonder if you even know who the fuck you are, and probably not,” he screamed. “You don’t want to love, you just want attention. What’s wrong? Was it missing at home? They didn’t love you enough and so you decided that you had to fuck other people up?”

“Stop, please stop, and don’t get there, there’s no need to bring that up in this conversation.”

“Oh no, there’s a reason because I’ve known you for three years and I have no idea about the person in front of me. Who are you?” He yelled. “God, I got fooled again. I really thought you were different, I thought I could trust you, I fucking let you in after I tried to push you away, I let you in, Jade, I didn’t even trust my shadow, but I trusted you.”

Jade started crying. “I didn’t play you, I loved you then, and I love you now. I can’t control who I love.”

“Well, then get the fuck out of this and date people like you, I don’t want to split you, share you, or whatever, but mostly I don’t like being lied to.”

“I didn’t know, and I swear I tried to push it away for so long, I tried to convince myself it was just physical attraction, but it’s not.”

“Great, then go and live your fairytale with him, not the first time I see this happening. You’ll be happy, trust me, you’ll probably be married in a year. I’m sure he’s into you just like you’re into him.”

“Don’t get mad at him,” she mumbled, daring to look at Jaehyun in the eyes. But seeing the anger behind them made her look down immediately.

He scoffed. “Sure. I should’ve gotten mad all the times he flirted with you right in front of my face, and instead, I had been a fool telling myself it was just his playful nature.”

“It’s my fault, not his, please.”

“Why are you defending him?”

“Because he didn’t do anything, he cares about you, and I don’t want to be the reason you two lose each other. I just wanted to be honest with you because I couldn’t keep it to myself anymore. But please, he just wants what’s best for you. He doesn’t care about me, you are the person he cares about.”

“Fine, let’s put him aside,” he said. “So last time that was the reason why you took it so personally when I rightfully called you out for doing so many things for me. You felt guilty.”

“I was just trying to make you feel my love, I was terrified it wasn’t enough.”

“It’s not enough, I don’t care about a fucking cake if you’re in love with somebody else.”

“But I love you,” she repeated for the nth time, trying again to look at him.

“No, you can’t, you can’t, you’re going to get tired of one of us and go back to just one, and guess who it will be? Him.”

“That’s not how it works, you’re thinking this all wrong, we can work it out together. We overcame so much we can also do this.”

“No, you’re putting this on an emotional side so you can manipulate me into this like you always do.”

“I manipulate you?”

“Yes, playing the victim, telling me half-truths, and I always have to navigate in your brain and try to guess what the hell is going on because unlike you, I love you and I don’t want to hurt you. And I try to do my best to don’t do anything that makes you feel bad even if you don’t tell me anything. But you, I told you my fears loud and clear, and you decided to hurt me right there. You knew how much it still hurt from where she stabbed my heart, and you decided to do the same thing.”

She stared at him while tears filled her eyes and her sobs got louder.

“Don’t fucking cry. You’re not the victim here, don’t cry,” he almost groaned, feeling the anger rise even more.  

“I don’t want to lose you.”

“You had to think about it before. I’m not staying, Jade. I’m not going around making a fool of myself telling people you’re also Johnny’s girlfriend. I’m not seeing you twice a week because I have to share you like a kid with custody.”

“No, please, just listen to me for a second.”

“I already listened enough. You explained all that shit before arriving at the point, and I don’t care. If somebody believes they can be loved and love more people at the same time, well, good for them, but it’s not for me.”

“It’s just because you’re comparing it to cheating. Trust me, it’s not that bad.”

“You’ve never been in a relationship like that; who told you it’s not bad? And yes, you were drooling on my friend for all this time, and flirted with him, and fell in love with him, and I should be grateful and okay with it? Fuck no.”

“I —”

“I don’t care about what you have to say,” he said before walking to their bedroom.

“Don’t go. What are you doing?”

“Taking my shit, I’m not sleeping here tonight.”

“No, please, please, I didn’t want this to go this way,” she begged, trying to grab his hand, but he kept pushing away.  

“What the hell were you expecting me to do? Throw a party? Call my parent and tell them I got fucked in the same way twice? Or call Johnny over so you can lock yourself with him in the bedroom and have your fun without me coming in your way this time.”

“You didn’t come in our way, stop saying this. I didn’t do what she did.”

“No, you did. But you’re even worse than her because she was a nineteen-year-old girl that, you know what, had all the right of being tired of a relationship that went on for five years, she could’ve avoided cheating, for sure, but we all fuck up. But you, you’re twenty-three, and you knew how much I was hurt by that, you decided to twist the knife in my wound, you decided to hurt me after I opened myself to you.”

She wanted to say it wasn’t the same but didn’t. He was sad and angry and probably even hated her. He wasn’t going to understand.

“You were completely cold-minded when you decided to shoot your shot, and you’re making me feel a type of pain I never imagined could possibly be felt. I loved you so fucking much, Jade, you have no idea how much I cared for you. I wanted this to be the one for us so bad, and you had to go and screw everything up.” He rolled his head behind, trying to push the tears away, but it was all useless. He didn’t want this to end like this. He didn’t want them to end. How could she hurt him like this? After everything they had been through? God, they grew up together so much in the last years, what they had was perfect, how it wasn’t enough for her? Why the hell he was never enough?

“That’s why you didn’t want to meet my mom, right? Well, better like this, I’ll avoid telling her what you did, not because I don’t want her to know what kind of person you are, but simply because I’d look like a fool. Not because I care about what she’ll think about you.”

“Why don’t you just try to give it a try? Maybe it won’t be that bad. It’s just Johnny.”

“That’s the fucking problem, it’s him, and I know him, and I also know how dangerous and charming he can be. When he’ll completely wipe you off of your feet, I don’t want to be there.”

“Don’t leave me alone,” she begged when he grabbed his bag and walked out of the room again.

“I thought you were a big girl, you didn’t need my help, right? You did so many things by yourself, guess you can sleep alone for one night.”

“It’s late, it’s dangerous,” she blabbered, trying to grab him by the jacket, but he pushed her away another time.

“You don’t care about me, don’t act like you do. And don’t worry, probably if something happened, it would be less painful than what I’m feeling right now.

She grabbed his wrist, but he pulled away. “Don’t touch me,” he groaned.

“Why are you treating me like that?” She cried through sobs, voice coming out shaky and messy.

“Stop playing the victim and start taking responsibility for your actions.

“I’m crying because I love you, not because I’m playing the victim, I don’t want you to throw us away because I care.”

“I’m not the one throwing us away, you did, because you have to search for more. Well, go fucking get it and leave me out of this.”

“Jaehyun,” she called, trying to stop him from going out.

“No, we’re over.”

Jade stared at the door for hours, crying and sobbing messily not caring about anything, just hoping he would come home, but he never did, just like he never answered her calls or messages, phone off and sleeping only God knows where.

She dragged her body on the couch to at least rest her legs and waited, and waited, but all the tears and screams tired her out, and she fell asleep.

When she woke up the morning after, the sun was already high in the sky. She cleared the sleep off her eyes and got up, looking for him.

“Jaehyun,” she called, entering the bedroom and finding him there. Back facing her as he kept moving around to get his things. But turning around, she noticed that the room was already half empty.

“What are you doing? Come on, you can’t be leaving for real,” she said, trying to don’t cry again.

But he didn’t answer, he was wearing a black hoodie, not caring about the hot weather, and didn’t say a single thing to her. She felt like passing out, being brought back to when she had spent her whole life going around the house asking her mother, ‘mom, what’s wrong?’ just to get no answer, silence treatment; the only thing she had grown up with.

“Jaehyun, please, talk to me.” Here it was again, begging and humiliating herself for attention, for an answer, for something, anything. That was the whole point of it anyway, making her feel stupid, and hurt her back, back at home for something she didn’t even do most of the time, and now for something she meant no harm.

When he pulled the zipper of a bag, she felt her heart ache; there was nothing else in the room.

“Where are you going? You don’t have a place to stay. You can’t live in the streets, we can barely afford this place.”

He stopped in his tracks, placing the bags next to the front door. “Number one, that’s none of your business. Number two, I do. And number three, find a new roommate.”

“But you’re not a roommate.”

“Here are the keys, I already talked with the landlord, I’ll sign the contract off directly with him, and then you’ll talk to him if you need somebody else to move in. I went to the kitchen before, grabbed the sets my mom gave to me, you still have plates to eat, though. My piano is going to Johnny, he’ll come to take it.”

“Is this all you have to say?”

He looked down on her, and she wanted to disappear; all the hate in his eyes was nothing compared to the hate she thought he felt for him when they first met.

“Yes, nothing connects us anymore. I don’t want to relate to a cheater.”

“Okay, you hate me, but can I at least know where are you going? Are you going to be okay?”

He chuckled bitterly. “Oh, look, you always care about people after you lose them, right? I’ll be okay, I won’t let somebody like you tear me down.”

And this time, when the door closed, she had no more tears left to cry, just a painfully aching heart.

Time flew for everybody but her and when September came, she still felt her ground shake under her feet. Because for Jade every single day felt like torture. She dragged her body out of the bed and forced herself to do things. She had to; the rent to pay all to herself barely made her make it at the end of the month, but she didn’t want to find a roommate or move out of there to go to a cheaper place. She had all the best memories there and were the only things left to hold on to.

She hadn’t seen anybody but Amita in two months. When Johnny passed to get his piano, she wasn’t home and told him she had left the keys under the carpet. He kept his distance too. He texted her that he didn’t hate her, but he needed to detox, and not seeing each other was the best thing they could do, he said it was because Jaehyun suspected they had done something behind his back, but she knew it was also because he was mad at her. She had promised not to tell anything and did it anyway, and as much as Jaehyun wasn’t mad at Johnny, she knew that Johnny was mad at her anyway.

And she had no news about Jaehyun. He had blocked her on every social possible. Cut her off completely, as if she never existed, and she didn’t know what to do.

Amita told her he was doing assumingly okay, at least that was what Johnny told her, but he didn’t say much. He had moved back to America, to his parents, and was working at his father’s company, that was all she knew.

And probably was better that way. No risk of running into each other in the streets. No risk of being under the same sky. Nothing. Just two complete strangers.

What do people say? Grasp all, lose all. Yeah, that was the lesson she learned.

“I know I shouldn’t bring him up, but I’ve never seen you this broken, Jadey,” Amita said, caressing her friend’s hand. “He’s not coming back, and you know it. And Johnny won’t come to you, either.”

“How are you always so sure about everything?”

Amita raised her head. “Do you want to know why?” Jade nodded.

Amita gulped and hesitated for a moment before letting the words slip out of her mouth, “They’re both seeing somebody else.”

Jade felt her heart break even more —if there was something left to break, to be honest.

“Oh, I’m so easy to forget,” she laughed sarcastically, trying to don’t cry even now.

“No, I just think it hurt all of you a lot, and they’re simply trying to go on.”

“It wouldn’t have hurt if he listened to me.”

“You know I never go against you, and I agree that he was harsh, but you knew that never on earth he was going to agree with that and react well.”

Jade shrugged, whatever. It was in the past, and the damage was done. To sleep at night with a clear conscience, now she slept with a heavy heart.

“Good for them, by the way. I hope they’re happy.”

“You can be happy, too. Maybe next time just tell your partner first?”

“I didn’t know. How many times do I have to explain it to you too?” Jade snapped, crossing her arms on her chest. “If I knew, I wouldn’t have dated him in the first place. I didn’t plan to fall for Johnny, too. I’m not such an asshole.”

“Why don’t you write him a letter?”

“Yeah, back to the middle age and sent it with a pigeon just so that he can throw it in the fire to keep him and his new partner warm this winter.”

“I’m sure he’ll read that.”

“Okay, let’s say he does, do you think he’ll write me back?”

“But at least you told him what you had to. He didn’t give you time to explain yourself with calm, so you’d give yourself the closure you need to move on.”

“Closure, move on, yeah, just to get hurt more.”

“Moving on doesn’t mean finding somebody else. Do something for yourself for once. Listen, I don’t like to go back there but you came all the way here to escape from the toxicity of your house and you’re just hurting yourself in the same way they hurt you. Allow yourself to make mistakes and allow yourself to learn from them, it’s not the end of the world. You don’t carry the weight of the whole world on your shoulders, and the sooner you’ll realize that he better it will be.”

“But that’s not the weight of the world, I just had to carry his weight and I failed.”

“Then write it down, let go of what you’re feeling. You’re alone now and you still try to hold yourself together like when you had to do it because you had to take care of your siblings and put on a smile for them. You’re still faking it as if somebody next door has surreal expectations of you. You’re still pushing yourself to the limit because you have to prove yourself to ghosts that are not here anymore and won’t reach you again.”

Jade rolled her eyes and sighed. “And writing a letter will solve things?”

“No, therapy will solve things but it’s a start, it’s better than nothing. It’s somebody to talk to when you have nobody to talk to, the good thing is the paper won’t judge you.”

“But it won’t bring him back, it won’t bring them back,” Jade broke down crying, resting her head on her arm against the table. “I had them both and just lost them at the same time. I’m so fucking stupid, I could’ve had it all. He wanted me to meet his mother and you have no idea how much he loves her and now I don’t even want to think about what he told her about me.”

“I’m sure he didn’t.”

“You didn’t see the disgust and hatred in his eyes that night, I broke him in the worst way possible. I hurt him so bad and here I am, crying because he won’t come back to me. I seriously just hope that whoever he’s with now loves him more than I ever did and won’t hurt him. He never deserved all the pain I gave him.”

“But it wasn’t your intention.”

“But I still did, the more I try not to hurt people the more I do, God, I’m horrible.”

Amita caressed her hair trying to make her calm down a little, but she let herself go to a silent cry.

“He was worried about me, he even, he even, God, he sang me the song his mother made just for him when he mended me for a stupid little cut I gave myself and you had to see how much love was in the way he treated me. Nobody ever treated me that gently, as if I was going to break in any moment, and that’s what I gave him back. And I lost it, selfishly I lost all of that love, and I don’t think I’ll ever find somebody so stupid to love somebody like me that much.”

Amita sighed, pulling her closer to her chest and letting her cry nonstop. She wanted to tell her that she wasn’t unlovable even if life made her believe that, and that she wasn’t only good at being used for people’s needs and then dropped. But didn’t say a thing, it was useless anyway. She never believed her when she told her that. And the only that was starting to make her believe she deserved all the love, the purest kind, had been Jaehyun, and now she had lost him.

“I just hope he’ll forgive me one day.”

“No, mom, I’m not coming over tomorrow,” Jaehyun sighed, swinging in his chair, fixing his glasses with a scrunch of the nose. His mom had passed by the company to drop her greetings after going out with some friends and hadn’t let him breathe since she entered his office.

“But why not?”

“I can’t. I told you, I have to go out,” he repeated for the nth time while his mother kept complaining, but the thing immediately changed after that.

“Oh,” she chanted, tilting her head to the side. “Like a date?”

“Yes, mom, like a date,” he replied, trying to suppress the annoyance in his voice and don’t roll his eyes. She was just worried for him, but sometimes it was just too much.

“And with that girl that came here the other day?”

“Yes, with that girl,” he rolled his eyes.

“Uh, uh, so it’s serious?”

“I guess,” he replied, shrugging. “I don’t know, I don’t really want to get too excited.”

“Scared she’s better than the other girl? What even was her name?”

“Mom,” he glared at her, breathing loudly.

“What? She got you running all the way here, not even Minju did that. I’m your mother, and I’m not buying that it simply didn’t work out. You were shattered when you arrived here.”

“I was shattered because it didn’t work out.”

“No, because something happened, and you don’t want to tell me.”

He huffed loudly. “You’re just paranoid, it wasn’t meant to be, that’s all. Why do you think about her? I’m here right now, aren’t you happy? And I’m seeing another person.”

She shrugged. “I guess. But why did you never make me meet her? Was it because you knew I would’ve said straight away she gave me bad vibes?”

“You can’t say that, you don’t even know her,” he mumbled, lowering his head, thinking about Jade for a second. He hated how much his mother brought her up because he just wanted to forget her, and it was working pretty fine, slowly but fine. “You would’ve loved her.”

“Oh, really?”

He nodded and then got up to guide his mom out of the door. “Yeah, but you won’t have to, so just think positive and focus on other things.”

“Like your new girlfriend being better.”

“She’s not my girlfriend, and I don’t want you to compare them, and please, can you just stop bringing her up? I don’t want to think about her.”

“You see, she hurt you.”  

Jaehyun pinched the bridge of his nose. “I hurt her too. We both hurt each other, but that happens, I just need to move on.”  

“Whatever, fine, I’ll just stick to rooting for you and your new flame, hoping she will be the one.” And with one last kiss on the cheek, his mom left.

Alone again in his office, he slumped on the chair and stared at the wall.

He felt like shit.

It had been two months, and nothing really changed. It wasn’t even about forgetting her, but it was about trusting other people.

His walls were so high up in the sky that he was sure nobody was going to make them fall soon. He had lost his dream job, lost his love, and lost his best friend. He kept in touch with Johnny, but they weren’t together, and Johnny wasn’t playful like before. They seemed like those friends that contact each other just because they have to, and he hated it.

Maybe he had a reason for hating her so much in college, maybe his instinct knew that she was going to lead to all of this, and yet, he decided to ignore it. Oh, how he wished they never met, everything would be different right now, everything would be better. Because not even the two years together were worth the pain.

He grabbed his phone and scrolled through the contacts, he had blocked her number too, just to avoid impulsive calls at night or other dumb shits, but not knowing how she was doing at all killed him.

He was doing it for himself, not checking the socials —he blocked her anyway— not asking Johnny or even Amita, who still occasionally commented on his photos, about her. But it was harder than expected.

He regretted all the harsh words he had said that night and the day after, how he left her so harshly and hurt her just to give her back a little bit of the pain he had felt. Because it didn’t make him feel better at all. He wasn’t sure it was still love, but he deeply cared for her, and he knew, even if she rarely said it out loud, how fragile she truly was.

He had caught her crying sometimes in silence, he had caught the small things she would do to keep herself together when she couldn’t fall apart in front of everybody, he had seen her smile drop when nobody was there for her at the graduation and she said that her parents were just really busy but had sent her the congratulations already.

He had seen how little love she had received all her life, and a part of him wondered if there was somebody out there giving her the love she craved.

Maybe her past was the reason why she wanted to be with more people at once? Maybe she needed to fill a hole in her chest with something that was missing. And as much as he still couldn’t wrap his head around it, he wished she had got what she wanted.

He knew Johnny started dating a guy he met on a set, so in the end, it didn’t work out with him either, and that kind of made him even madder. If only she lasted a little bit longer, they still could’ve been together. But if that was her true nature, somebody else was going to come between them anyway, so there was no point in dragging it any longer.

It was better this way, life was turning out fine, they were all getting what they wanted, just not in the way they expected it.

He locked his phone again and got up from the chair. He had to go to another company for a meeting and then he had to go home. Finally, a bigger house, but that felt so empty with just him inside.

“No, I’m just saying that if you wear shoes twice your size is obvious you’re going to fall at the first step,” Jaehyun laughed shaking his head at Hyuna’s affirmation.

“Nah, I think that was a nice way to call me dumb,” she joked, winking at him.

“I mean, that’s not a move I would consider smart…”

“See! You’re terrible,” she laughed before intertwining their arms together. Jaehyun was caught by surprise but didn’t pull away. It was somehow nice, just like her. “Also, in my defense, my mom called me in a rush to help her with groceries.”

“Oh yeah, the last-minute shoes of the groceries run,” he joked, staring at her.

Yeah, maybe not anytime soon, maybe not easily, but maybe she deserved a try. He simply didn’t have to jump into her without looking first, but one step at a time, she didn’t seem like a bad person.

“Can I ask you something?” They were now sitting on a bench in a square while eating ice cream.

“Sure.”

“Okay, first a confession. I had a crush on you since long ago, but I kind of gave up when your mom told me that you weren’t going to come back here, she said that not even the biggest heartbreak of your life made you run away. So, what happened?”

He chuckled; his mom was wrong because it had been the biggest heartbreak of his life that made him run away. “Is this part of the list of questions my mom told you to ask me?”

“No, I’m just curious, I promise.”

He nodded, even if he wasn’t totally convinced. “I needed to change air,” he shrugged. He surely wasn’t going to tell the truth to her because she wasn’t really part of his life and also because he didn’t want people to know what happened. “Had another pretty long relationship with someone and then when it was all over, I decided to just leave. I missed my parents, some old friends, just America.”

“It must’ve hurt.”

“No, not at all. Places can get suffocating after a while.”  

“I was talking about the relationship.”

“That’s my mom on a mission.”

“No, I just want to talk, I think it’s important to get to know each other, so we can’t hurt like we did in the past.”

“It hurt just the right amount,” he smiled. Wrong. It had hurt like hell.

She chuckled. “There’s a right amount of pain?”

“Yeah, just that much that tells you that you cared for that person, and it hasn’t been just a waste of time, you know.”

She nodded. “And, do you plan on going back?”

“Why would I? I have nothing there.”

“So, I can sleep peacefully at night knowing you’ll stay here?”

Jaehyun sighed. “Listen, you wanted to be honest, and I’ll be. I like you, I mean, I can talk to you well, you’re smart, beautiful, and everything, but I can’t promise you my heart right now. I’m not sure I’m ready to let somebody in and I don’t know how much you want me to be with you, mentally, since the start.”

Hyuna chuckled, “you still love her, right?”

“No,” he replied. But in his heart, it felt like a lie. “I’m just hurt.”

“You’re contradicting yourself. Let me tell you how things are Mr ‘just the right amount’. It hurt like hell, you came here to forget her, but no matter how far you run, feelings don’t turn off that easily, and so here you are, trying to convince yourself you can move on when you know you can’t.”

Jaehyun sighed and lowered his head. As much as he didn’t want to agree, Hyuna was right. He missed her and he still loved her.

“But what can I do? I can’t go back there.”

“Is somebody stopping you? Is it so hard to make it work? And why don’t try? Look at me, I shoot my shot with you, it’s clear I’m not destined for you, but at least I tried, I won’t go to bed in ten years wondering what would’ve happened ‘if’, because I know what happened with that ‘if’. So go and get it, and remember, if you’re hurting, it can’t hurt more than it already does.”

“Don’t look at me like that, mom,” Jaehyun said while finishing to take his things and put them in the boxes.

“I’m not looking at you in any way,” the woman replied, getting up from the chair to sit on the bed and face her son. “I’m just wondering what happened.”

“You never changed your mind in your life?”

“Yeah, I did, only fools and dead men don’t change their minds, but I’d like to know why.”

“Why do you care so much?”

“I need to know you have a good reason to go back there and try to fix something that broke months ago. I just need to make sure you’re not doing it because you feel guilty.”

Jaehyun sighed and zipped the bag before moving it on the floor and sitting down next to his mom.

“You told me you feel when something is meant for you, right? And that also works for people?”

“Yes, and you feel that? Trusting your guts after what happened? I guess that it wasn’t a simple ‘it didn’t work out’, right?”

Jaehyun nodded. “No, it wasn’t, but I was blinded by anger, and I didn’t stop to think or listen to her, and I regret it.”

“It’s not just regretting. You know, when I would talk bad about her it wasn’t because I had bad feelings about her, I just wanted to see how you reacted, and I’ve never seen you get so defensive about anybody else, probably just Johnny, yeah, just him.”

Jaehyun laughed lowly, leaning his head on her shoulder.

“I don’t know what happened, and I don’t even want to know, I mean, yes, I do, but I’ll respect you,” she chuckled, making him smile too. “But it’s clear you still love her, and there’s no need to let our pride kill us when we could just be happy,” she sighed. “Our lives are already short enough, Yoonoh, they pass before you even realize and when you grow old, don’t look back and see a road full of regrets, they’ll haunt you at night, and by then you won’t be able to say sorry to a friend, I love you to a loved one, or simply fix someone that is broken, even yourself.”

“But what if they don’t feel the same anymore?”

“If you were a child, I would’ve told you that a little bird told me that everything is going to be fine, but I guess you don’t believe in that anymore, right?”

Jaehyun smiled, shaking his head.

“Then I’ll tell you I know that everything’s going to be fine.” She caressed his hair and then added, “so why are you going back there?”

“I miss them.”

“Them?” His mom asked, but not even with a lot of surprise in her voice.

“Yeah,” he whispered. “Them.”

It was strange being back in London and not having a speech ready for the talk that was going to change his life around.

It was just strange being back in London. And it was even stranger standing on Johnny’s front door. Jaehyun felt like he wanted to puke. He wasn’t even sure Johnny liked her anymore, or better, if he ever liked her in the first place. And it felt so selfish to be here and ask him to try again after he knew Johnny had just broken up with his boyfriend, but he had to try. Or at least, he had to talk, the three of them together, and try to fix what was fixable.

Jaehyun looked around back at the street and then gathered the courage to knock on the door. He felt like passing out when no answer came for at least one minute but then when the door opened Johnny was standing right behind it.

“Jaehyun?” He asked confused, rubbing his eyes; he was sleeping. “What are you doing here?”

“Can I come in for a second?”

Johnny furrowed and then, passing a hand through his hair, moved to the side. “Your mom kicked you out?”

“No, I live on my own and I’m serious.”

“Did something happen then? You said you never wanted to come back here,” Johnny asked, stretching. He fell asleep after lunch and didn’t wake up until he heard the knock on the door, it was quite late in the afternoon now.

“No, I just need to make things up.”

“With me? For what?”

“With you and Jade.”

Johnny furrowed and stared at him. “What do I have to do with you two?”

“You know what,” Jaehyun replied.

Johnny straightened his back and exhaled deeply. Jaehyun didn’t seem mad, but he still didn’t know how to feel about all of this. He had tried to push her out of his mind, knowing he had already caused enough trouble.

“You know I was dating somebody since two weeks ago, right?”

“And did you love them?”

“You really have the nerves to ask me that, God,” Johnny scoffed, throwing his head back and running his hands on his face. “But, luckily for you, the answer is no, or else I would’ve kicked you out.”

Jaehyun chuckled and then pressed his lips together trying to find the best way possible to start this conversation. “And her? Did you love her?”

Johnny breathed deeply. “Are you serious or is this a way to break with me too?”

“I’m serious, I just want to know before driving to her house and making a fool out of me because you don’t want to be in this.”

Johnny nodded and sat on the headrest of his couch. “I do, I think. I never let my emotions for her take over, she was yours and you were hers, and never in my life, I wanted to hurt you the same way Minhyuk did. I had told her to move on from me, that having each other in the way we had was enough, but apparently, for her, it wasn’t.”

Jaehyun nodded. It was nice to know that Johnny still did his best to stay loyal to their friendship. “Have you seen her lately?”

Johnny shook his head. “I had to avoid her, just like you did. I don’t know how she’s doing, Amita doesn’t tell me much.”

“Do you think she moved on?”

“I wasn’t the one dating her, you should know her more than me.”

“But how could I know?”

“And why would I know? The only thing we can do is try to see how she’s doing and talk to her.”

“I told her terrible things the night we fought.”

“You’re never too late to take them back, I’m sure she’ll understand. But are you really sure, Jae?”

“I can’t promise I’ll be good on the first try, but I’ll still do my best. I want to give us a try.”

From the corridor of the floor of their old place, the house seemed quiet. It was nine pm, so it was way too early for her to be asleep, but they hoped that she was inside.

Jaehyun rang the bell and they silently waited for an answer.

“Yeah, who’s that?” Came muffled from the inside after a while and they hesitated for a second. Johnny pushed Jaehyun out of the frame and then said. “Me.”

“Me? Really? What the hell?” Jaehyun mouthed from the side.

“You who?” She said before tiptoeing to reach the peephole. She blinked twice, thinking she was insane but then opened the door before receiving an answer.

“Johnny? What are you doing here?” She asked, staring at him trying to fix her clothes. She was a mess. Old gym pants, an ugly hoodie, and hair pulled in the same bun for the second day straight.

“Well, we have to talk to you.”

“We? Who’s with…” she stopped when Jaehyun came to his side, and she felt like passing out. She shook her head, squeezing her eyes shut and then opening them again. “Are you here to get your revenge?”

Jaehyun shook his head. “No, we want to talk. Like we should’ve done three months ago.”

She looked between them for a while, they weren’t supposed to be there, they should’ve left but maybe getting this over soon was the only solution. So, she moved to the side, letting them in.

The house was basically empty, more than it was when Jaehyun left, and they both wanted to ask why but didn’t. They had other things to do before.

“Have a seat,” she said, pointing at the table. “Want something to drink?”

“No, we’re fine,” Johnny answered for them.

She nodded and sat in front of them. “So, why are you here?”

“I can’t do this. I tried, I swear, I really did. I tried to push you out of my mind, but it didn’t work, and I know it hasn’t been that long, but I don’t see the point in suffering more if I know there will never be another one like you in my life. There’s no point in pushing the people I love the most out of my life just because they also love each other.”

Jade drifted her eyes from him to Johnny and then back to him. “What are you trying to say?”

“That I want to try again. I want to make this work. All of us together.”

Jade massaged her neck and looked around, not knowing how to feel.

“You’re seeing somebody else, right? I knew that,” Jaehyun said, a hint of sadness in his tone.

“No, I’m not seeing anybody, I have to… What made you change your mind?”

“You. I miss you two too much to at least don’t give it a try. I can’t promise it’ll be easy for me to fit in this new thing, but I want to try again.”

She hummed, still scratching the side of her neck and avoiding their stares. Oh, how badly she dreamed of this moment. How badly she wanted at least one of them back. And now she had them both, sitting in front of her, telling her they were willing to try to make things work. But she couldn’t. It was too late now, it was the wrong moment for them to be there. If only he never left, if only things didn’t crumble apart months ago…

“Anyway, I can’t be here.”

They looked at each other and then at her. “Why?”

“It’s you that can’t stay here, actually. I have another thing to take care of and I don’t have time for this.”

“But you have two of us, we can help you,” Johnny replied.

Jade shook her head. “No, you can’t, and I don’t want to drag you in this mess.”

“You put yourself in danger? Is somebody threatening you? Asked money to the wrong people? That’s why the house is empty, right?”

“No, Jae, no. It’s nothing of that kind, I just had to sell a lot of stuff but it’s okay. I have to do this alone, it’s not about you.”

“Jade, what’s all this noise?” When an unknown female voice resonated in the kitchen Jade’s widened her eyes while the other turned around to stare at a girl that seemed like the younger copy of Jade.

“Who are they?”

“Nobody,” Jade answered, standing up and walking to the girl. “You were sleeping, you have work tomorrow.”

“But I heard male voices, I thought it was him again.”

“No, now get back to bed, please. Also, don’t come out when you hear voices. What if it was him? You know it can be dangerous.”

“Who are you talking about?” Jaehyun asked, quirking a brow at her words.

“Nobody. Now leave, both of you.”

“No, we’re not leaving. I already left you alone once I’m not doing it twice.”

Jade shook her head feeling tears at the corner of her eyes. “It’s not the right time, really.”

“Who is she?” Johnny asked.

“I’m Diamond, her little sister,” the girl waved at him with a small smile on her face.  

“Diamond, no, back to your room, now.”

“But they want to help, and we need help.”

“I don’t need help, we’ve been doing great.”

“Yeah, that’s why he’s threatening you,” she whispered, earning a glare from her sister.

“Jade, what’s going on?”

“It’s all my fault,” Diamond said, lowering her head. “My parents found out I’m lesbian and kicked me out of the house, I have nowhere else to stay. Not for now at least.”

“Diamond, they don’t have to know, they were leaving anyway.”

“No, they weren’t, I heard the conversation. They love you.”

“Love doesn’t matter, I have to take care of you, for now. Come on, let’s go to sleep,” she said, walking her to their bedroom. Once she made sure she was inside, she came back to the other two that were sitting on the couch.

“I told you to leave.”

“No, we’re not moving from here.”

“Who’s threatening you? And why?”

She sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. They weren’t going to leave if she didn’t tell the truth, right? So, she sat down between them and started confessing.

“I can’t look after her alone, and my job doesn’t pay enough, I mean, I would have clients, but I feel like shit, and I don’t find inspiration anymore, so I had to drop. I found a job in a coffee shop, but it doesn’t pay enough. She was supposed to start college, and I wanted to help with it, but I can’t pay for her. I can’t do what I did for me another time with her,” Jade explained, breaking down crying. “And she had found a little job, but it’s still not enough. The landlord threatened to throw me out and in the middle of desperation, I asked the wrong person. And I couldn’t pay him back in time, so the debt keeps growing because he doesn’t want to give me time. And I don’t know what do to anymore, I can’t find money, not so fast and I’m… I’m afraid he will do something to me, or worse, to her.”

“How much do you own him?” Johnny asked, resting his hand on her knees to calm her down.

“It’s only one thousand five hundred pounds but he keeps raising it.”

“Did he beat you?”

Jade gulped, crossing her arms on her chest. “It doesn’t matter.”

“No, it does. Where?”

“Just a punch, I’m okay. I’m just worried for her.”

“We can help you with that,” Johnny reassured.  

“No, I don’t want you to put your money in this.”

“We don’t want you to be in danger,” Jaehyun said.

“It’s not much, I made a fortune with weddings this summer, we’ll pay and then you’ll be able to breathe. And then we’ll see what to do with her. How’s she?”

“Are you sure? After everything I caused?”

“You didn’t cause anything, feelings are a lot, and we all were scared,” Jaehyun replied. “I shouldn’t have turned like this that night, and maybe we could’ve tried to make it work since the start.”

“But are you sure you’re okay with all of this? And also, with my sister? What if this situation just makes it more complicated for us and we’ll lose each other again?”

“I’m sure I’m not going anywhere,” Johnny smiled. “Always liked a little challenge.”

“I’m not leaving either no matter how rough this will get.”

“I wish I wasn’t so complicated. I’m so sorry, but I couldn’t leave her alone another time. I already left them in that mess when I ran away here. If I was there, probably this wouldn’t have happened.”

“You can’t blame yourself for something your parents did. You didn’t birth her, Jade. Raising them and loving them wasn’t your responsibility,” Jaehyun said, caressing her hair and pulling her close.

“I missed this,” she said, snuggling closer and reaching her hand out to hug Johnny too.

“Me too,” they said.

“But can we promise to each other we’re going to therapy as soon things get economically better?” Johnny joked.

“Yeah, I’ll be the first one to go there, have a lot of things from the past to fix. I’m sorry if I never told you anything, but it makes me really uncomfortable, and I just wanted to forget them, it also helped to not think that my siblings were still there.”

“We know, it’s okay. You can take your time if you want to tell us one day. For now, let’s focus on the present, okay?” Jaehyun reassured her, caressing her nape gently.

Jade nodded. “We don’t have a bed to stay in, she’s sleeping in our room.”

“It’s fine, we can stay closer here on the couch,” Johnny said, before wrapping his arms around them, making them giggle.

“Wait, weren’t you dating someone else?” Jade asked, all of a sudden realizing that they moved on, or well, at least tried.

“Well, guess what happened?” Jaehyun said. “Actually, I wasn’t dating her just yet, stopped everything before I could hurt someone else just to try to don’t think about you.”

“And you?”

“It didn’t work,” Johnny shrugged. “We wanted different things.”

“So, you’re both really sure about this? It isn’t just driven by pity or anything else?” She asked again. She was happy they were both there with her again, but she wanted to be sure they were in it for real. This wasn’t going to be easy and she couldn’t take another fall.

“A hundred percent sure, love. You said we should’ve tried to give this a shot, right? We’ll try. I trust us.”

“We always kind of worked as a trio, we can do it even romantically,” Johnny agreed, snuggling closer to her.

“I hope so,” Jade replied and then rested her head against Jaehyun’s shoulder while her hand intertwined with Johnny’s. “I don’t want to lose you again.”

“Hey! Don’t forget the lunch, I made it just for you,” Johnny screamed from his kitchen, peeking his head out to hand the girl her lunch box.

“You know that your food is going to be the thing I’ll miss the most when I’ll go to my aunt, right?” Diamond smiled, grabbing the box and leaning in to leave a peck on his cheek before rushing to the door.

“Don’t tell it to your sister,” he winked and waved her goodbye before turning around, meeting Jade’s deadly glare. “Oh, hi, angel, I made breakfast for you too.”

“I heard you, and I don’t like at all that you’re siding against me so much.”

“Oh, let her have her fun, as nice as your aunt seems to be I’m sure she won’t have two cool brothers-in-law like us to make her day better and to make fun of her sister with.”

Jade slapped his arm before pressing her head against his broad chest. “I hate you sometimes, you know.”

“Wow, romantic morning confessions,” Jaehyun said, walking into the kitchen to leave a small kiss on Jade’s forehead.

“She’s mad I’m her sister’s favourite,” Johny joked.

“Are you planning on stealing the whole family?” Jaehyun teased before walking to the countertop and then pouring coffee into his cup.

Jade glared at him, and he raised his hands. “Sorry, sorry, you know it just slips sometimes,” he apologized.

“Good,” Jade said, smiling at him.

“He’s doing better than what I had expected, though,” Johnny praised, glimpsing at him for a second before moving the pots off the fire.

“Yeah, I feared it was going to be much worse honestly,” Jade agreed before sitting on the chair.

“Thank you for the trust, I can always count on you,” Jaehyun glared at them.

They both laughed before leaning in to leave a kiss on his cheek. “It’s just that I wasn’t expecting this to flow so easily,” Jade confessed. “It’s not even all about you, I was afraid that after all that happened, something irreparably broke. And even if we didn’t fight, I was afraid of not being able to be in a relationship like this. I never had the best examples in my life, and I was afraid of falling into something just as bad and tiring.”

“But we’re here,” Johnny exclaimed, holding her hand on the table. “And we’re doing great. One month together and we’re successfully raising a child that’s not ours, paying the bills, buying groceries, and loving each other. I’d dare to say we’re almost better now than in college.”

“She’s not a child, she’s nineteen, Johnny, please,” Jaehyun complained, rolling his eyes.

“Yeah, but she’s not independent and she’s broken,” Johnny reminded him. It had been a month now and slowly everything was starting to find its own place. They had paid the man Jade had debts with immediately. But the place was too small for three people, especially since Jaehyun and Diamond weren’t close at all, and the three couldn’t sleep in the same bed. So, Johnny insisted they would move to his place, it was big enough to fit them all, and mostly they didn’t have to hear from that asshole of their owner that just kept rising prices for a hole. It was a risky and big first step, but it was the only solution. And spending much time together led all of them to open up, Jade was still quiet and didn’t say much, but with Diamond by her side, they had found out a bit more.

They were five, three sisters and two brothers. And their parents weren’t the best. They didn’t let out many details, and they didn’t push them out. Diamond wasn’t even expecting they would react that badly at finding out she wasn’t straight, but the thing that hurt her the most was the reason, ‘we have a reputation, we don’t want the whole neighbourhood to know we have a child like you.’

“She’s doing better, I hope she’ll react better than me,” Jade mumbled, lowering her head.

“They threw you out, too?” Jaehyun asked.

“No, but simply because they didn’t know I’m bi,” she said with a bitter laugh. “I kept it as a secret, nobody but Amita knew it, and well, the only girl I dated in high school, but she never told anyone. I left because I needed to live for myself, not for my family. Being everybody’s therapist, everybody’s punching ball, taking care of everyone, and nobody taking care of me. Being the oldest daughter in a dysfunctional family sucks.”

“So that’s why you never talk about them?”

“Yeah, even if there’s more,” she smiled sadly at him, “but I don’t want to talk about it now. It’s a beautiful day and the fridge is empty, so we have to go shopping.”

“My favourite types of dates,” Johnny rolled his eyes with a huff before standing up from the chair.

“Oh, come on, we’ll have fun. I also wanted to buy her some clothes for when she leaves.” Luckily for everyone, an aunt of theirs was willing to let her in. She had no problems with money and didn’t mind some company, and also despised their mom, so she was more than grateful to help the children she didn’t take care of. She was going to leave in a week, and hopefully find a stable place where to stay, work, and then start college next year.

“Then let’s go take a shower and then go out,” Jaehyun said, jumping off the chair and dragging Jade with him.

“Hey, don’t start without me,” Johnny screamed, putting the used dishes in the sink.

“We’re just going to shower,” Jade said, turning to Jaehyun who was looking at her with raised eyebrows and a smirk on his face. “We’re just going to shower, right?” But instead of answering, he grabbed her waist and held her on his shoulder, making her scream. “Stop it,” she laughed, reaching her hands out to ask Johnny for help but he simply laughed.

“For once that we’re together and have the house for ourselves you want to waste the opportunity?”

“I can’t wet my hair,” she complained.

“Trust me, your hair will be the last thing to be wet.”

“Jaehyun!” She screamed, slapping his back playfully.

But he just laughed and opened the bathroom door. “See, you promise a good time and he stops being an order freak.”

“The dishes can wait,” Johnny said, closing the door behind him before leaning in to kiss her.

“No,” Jade pulled away. “We’re brushing our teeth first and then maybe I’ll let you do what you want.”

Before she could even finish, they already rushed to the sink, fighting for the toothpaste and she rolled her eyes.

“You are like little children I can’t stand you,” she joked before grabbing her own toothbrush.

“And now, can we have fun?” Johnny asked, kissing her neck as soon as they were done.

“But let’s be quick, we seriously have things to do,” she said, and they hummed, “also, I’m not shaved.”

“Definitely not going to stop me,” Jaehyun said, playfully biting her neck. “And you know I don’t mind it when you’re natural.”

“Me neither,” Johnny replied, moving his hands to peel off her clothes.

Soon after they were all naked in the shower, while the water ran on their bodies —Johnny regulated the showerhead in a height that wouldn’t wet her hair and she was grateful.

“God, I missed you so much,” Johnny mumbled against her lips while his hands travelled on her body, occasionally brushing with Jaehyun’s.

“And you only had me once,” she joked, lolling her head back when Jaehyun’s hands crept between her legs.

“You’re addicting.”

“You two are acting as if one week ago you didn’t fuck in the car,” Jaehyun said, glaring at them.

“You were spying on us?”

“No, I was waiting for you to come home and when I went to the window, I saw your car there for fifteen minutes and the windows steamed up.”

Johnny laughed. “Okay, caught us,” he joked. “But it was our first date, and we couldn’t come here,” he defended, before spreading her legs more open —for what was possible since the shower wasn’t that big— and slipped one finger inside of her making her moan.

Jaehyun snorted, cupping her boob and playing with her nipple. “Bet it was your idea,” he whispered against her neck.

She hummed and then moved her hands to grab their dicks, starting to pump up and down. “Can you blame me? He looked so hot that night,” she replied, moaning both at the memory of Johnny and their hands working on her so well.

“Oh, no, just like I can’t blame him for not resisting you.”

“I’m surprised you didn’t tell us anything,” Johnny teased, moving his fingers faster inside of her, making her squirm and hold up on his arms.

Jaehyun narrowed his eyes and huffed, “I’m working on my jealousy, I’m doing this seriously.”

“Good boy,” Johnny teased, sending him a flying kiss.

“Call me a good boy again and I’ll punch you,” he warned, killing him with a gaze.

“Please stop,” Jade whined, grinding back behind him. “Just fuck me.”

“My turn,” Jaehyun exclaimed immediately, moving her hand to the side to grab himself and line up at her entrance.

Johnny simply snickered, shaking his head, and then pulled his fingers out of her. “I’ll take care of you from the outside, I guess.”

“Whatever, I don’t care, I just want to come.”

“Mh, doing so much for someone that was whining about being in a rush and had thousands of better things to do,” Johnny taunted, wrapping his lips around her nipple, and sucking, making her push up against him.

“Exactly,” she moaned, “we have things to do.”

“You,” they said together.

She glared at them. “Exactly, I’m on top of a long list, so move.”

“At your orders, love,” Jaehyun said before parting her legs more and slowly sinking inside of her.

She rolled her head back against his shoulder and grounded herself wrapping her hands around Johnny’s arm, the other was still moving on his cock, trying to also give him the pleasure he needed.

“God, missed being inside of you so fucking much,” Jaehyun groaned against her neck, holding her up with his hands around her waist.

Jade moaned, “missed feeling you.”

“You two look so pretty right now,” Johnny commented, leaning down to kiss and bite her neck. “Do you like it?” He asked, moving faster on her clit. “Being smashed between us, trapped between our bodies. Finally having both of us.”

“Yes, fuck,” she moaned, already feeling pleasure overwhelming her. Now, that wasn’t the first time of them being together that she imagined, but it was better than nothing, right? And also life had already proved that not everything that doesn’t go according to plan is bad. “Love it so much.”

Johnny snickered and then cupped her nipple with his mouth, sucking harshly, making her clench around Jaehyun. “Your nipples are so hard, fuck. They’re begging for attention,” he mumbled against her skin before starting to play with her again while his hand cupped her other boob and Jaehyun pushed her forward with every stroke. Then he pulled away, and an idea sparked in his mind. With a smirk on his face, he kneeled on the ground, trying to find balance and before she could realize it, his tongue started playing with her clit.

A choked loud moan slipped from her lips as she snapped her eyes open and looked down at Johnny that was going down on her while Jaehyun’s cock filled her up. The sight was so dirty and yet so hot she couldn’t take her eyes off of him, no matter how shameful she felt right at the moment. Jaehyun looked over her shoulder and grinned. “Like it, baby? Like having his lips right where I’m stretching you wide?” She hummed in response, biting a moan back, and feeling herself getting closer and closer. And just when she expected that Johnny couldn’t do anything else wilder, she felt a finger slip in her walls right next to Jaehyun’s dick.

“Fuck, Daddy,” she moaned,

“Daddy?” Jaehyun asked, voice choked between a laugh and the pleasure of feeling his finger press against him.

“Shut up, Sir,” Johnny replied and then started pumping along with him.

“Is it good? Or is it too much for our pretty girl?”

“Is good, fuck,” she mewled, almost standing on her tiptoes as she tried to fight between keeping the balance and the pleasure taking over her body.

“Should I add another one?” Johnny teased, pulling his face away for a second just to look at her surprised face.

“I can’t — I can’t take it,” she mumbled, but her body betrayed as her pussy clenched harder around them and more cum dripped out of her.

Johnny smirked and then pushed a second finger inside and she rolled her head back at the stretch.

“Fuck, you look so hot from here,” he whispered before lapping at her pussy again without stopping moving his fingers next to Jaehyun.

“You should fuck her too,” Jaehyun proposed, and his words almost made her stiffen at the idea. “Put your dick next to mine. I’m sure she can take it.”

“No — no,” she mumbled, shaking her head and squeezing her eyes shut.

Johnny snickered, and then added another finger, eliciting a loud gasp from her. “Don’t worry, darling, we don’t have time. I won’t do it… for now.”

She almost groaned thinking about him doing that someday and a small part of her wanted to screw everything right at the moment and take him too at the same time, in the same hole. But she was close and they had things to do, they couldn’t give in to their darkest desires.

“I’m gonna — fuck, fuck,” she breathed out with a strangled voice. “‘s too much, I can’t anymore.”

“You’re squeezing me so much, fuck,” Jaehyun moaned, feeling her walls tighten around him even more, and Johnny’s fingers surely weren’t helping him.

“Come on,” Johnny urged them both to come. “You’ve been good.”

Jade hummed and then let go, feeling her toes curl as she came uncontrollably hard around Jaehyun’s cock and Johnny’s fingers, now coated in their cum.

“Open up, angel,” Johnny ordered once she was done riding her orgasm and he pulled out, offering his fingers to her. She parted her lips and then sucked on them, cleaning them completely.

Jaehyun turned off the water and she got on her knees to take care of Johnny’s throbbing boner. Her tongue circled his tip and then sucked hard on it, making him roll his head back and intertwined his fingers in her hair.

“Babe, please, just get me over with it,” he half begged half ordered through gritted teeth.

She hummed and then took his whole length into her mouth, cheek hallowing and eyes looking up at him.

Johnny felt like he could lose his mind when her hands cupped his balls and started massaging there, as if he wasn’t already almost close…

“Fuck,” he cursed, voice low and filled with lust. “I’m gonna come,” he warned, but she didn’t push away and instead started sucking harder, and in a few seconds, Johnny was spilling his cum into her mouth, finally getting an orgasm too.

She smirked when she pulled away and then he helped her stand up.

“Never again three in a shower, that was the worst idea we ever had,” she chuckled, turning on the water again to finally get washed.

“Do you even know what she likes?” Johnny asked, following Jade around the nth store of the day. They went grocery shopping already in the morning and then decided to directly go to the mall and have lunch and buy something for Diamond. They didn’t have anything that needed to go in the fridge anyway.

“I do,” Jade huffed, eyeing a shirt and a skirt with a squared pattern. “She loves this style.”

“You really raised her to be just like you,” Jaehyun joked, taking a look at the set she grabbed.

“She spent her whole teenage years stealing my clothes.”

“And do you think she would like this jacket I found?” Jaehyun asked, showing her a long brown blazer with a belt.

“Yeah, she’ll love it, and she needs something to keep her warm.”

“She’s just moving a little norther, she’s not going to Antarctica,” Johnny reminded her. She was so apprehensive…

“I know, but I still feel guilty, okay? I don’t even want to imagine what they have been through all these years without me, and the others are still there while I’m here —”

“Hey,” Jaehyun stopped her. “They aren’t your responsibility, and you need to heal before going back to help them.”

“Going back?” Johnny asked, raising a brow.

“Not going back to live there, but if she wants to at least keep in contact she needs to be fine. She never overcame anything, hence all the guilt she still carries with her.”

“See, two months without you and he became a therapist,” Johnny joked and Jaehyun pushed him to the side. “But he’s right, though. You did all you could, now you have to think about yourself.”

“You think I’m doing the right thing sending her to our aunt?” She asked when they started walking again to find some other things to buy.

“She has more money than you and more space than our place so yes, also she’ll be able to focus on herself and what she wants for her future,” Johnny replied. “Why are you smiling like that?”

Jade shook her head and lowered her head for a second. “Nothing, it’s just that… you said our place and that made me feel things.”

Jaehyun chuckled. “Feels strange, right?”

She nodded. “I don’t know, I was really afraid of losing everything after I had already lost you and now,” the smile that curled her lips made her stop for a moment, “now I have the both of you, we live together, I don’t have that asshole asking me for money and my sister will be fine. It seems surreal, I seriously couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel.”

Johnny wrapped his arm around her and pulled her closer. “Now you don’t have to worry about anything anymore, you have us by your side, and trust me, we’ll never leave.”

“Just think positively, there’s just going to be happiness in front of us.”

She smiled and squeezed Jaehyun’s hands and Johnny’s waist tighter. “I’m so lucky to have you two.”

[whumptober]

Whumptober 2020 - Updated

Welcome to Whumptober 2020! We’re doing things a little differently this year so please make sure to read the Event Info carefully. We are also excited to announce the addition of an AO3 Collection, which can be found here.

We hope you’re as excited as us to watch the Whump Community come together once again for a month of bone-crunching creativity and collaboration!

(All 31 Themes + Prompts, Event Information, and FAQs are posted below the cut!)

No 1. LET'S HANG OUT SOMETIME Waking Up Restrained | Shackled | Hanging

No 2. IN THE HANDS OF THE ENEMY  "Pick Who Dies" | Collars | Kidnapped

No 3. MY WAY OR THE HIGHWAY Manhandled | Forced to their Knees | Held at Gunpoint

No 4. RUNNING OUT OF TIME Caged | Buried Alive | Collapsed Building

No 5. WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING? On the Run | Failed Escape | Rescue

No 6. PLEASE.... "Get it Out" | No More | "Stop, please"

No 7. I'VE GOT YOU Support | Carrying | Enemy to Caretaker

No 8. WHERE DID EVERYBODY GO? "Don't Say Goodbye" | Abandoned | Isolation

No 9. FOR THE GREATER GOOD "Take Me Instead" | "Run!” | Ritual Sacrifice

No 10. THEY LOOK SO PRETTY WHEN THEY BLEED Blood Loss | Internal Bleeding | Trail of Blood

No 11. PSYCH 101 Defiance | Struggling | Crying

No 12. I THINK I'VE BROKEN SOMETHING Broken Down | Broken Bones | Broken Trust

No 13. BREATHE IN BREATHE OUT Delayed Drowning | Chemical Pneumonia | Oxygen Mask

No 14. IS SOMETHING BURNING? Branding | Heat Exhaustion | Fire

No 15. INTO THE UNKNOWN Possession | Magical Healing | Science Gone Wrong

No 16. A TERRIBLE, HORRIBLE, NO GOOD, VERY BAD DAY Forced to Beg | Hallucinations | Shoot the Hostage

No 17. I DID NOT SEE THAT COMING Blackmail | Dirty Secret | Wrongfully Accused

No 18. PANIC! AT THE DISCO Panic Attacks | Phobias | Paranoia

No 19. BROKEN HEARTS Grief | Mourning Loved One | Survivor's Guilt

No 20. TOTO, I HAVE A FEELING WE'RE NOT IN KANSAS ANYMORE Lost | Field Medicine | Medieval

No 21. I DON'T FEEL SO WELL Chronic Pain | Hypothermia | Infection

No 22. DO THESE TACOS TASTE FUNNY TO YOU? Poisoned | Drugged | Withdrawal

No 23. WHAT’S A WHUMPEE GOTTA DO TO GET SOME SLEEP AROUND HERE? Exhaustion | Narcolepsy | Sleep Deprivation

No 24. YOU’RE NOT MAKING ANY SENSE Forced Mutism | Blindfolded | Sensory Deprivation

No 25. I THINK I’LL JUST COLLAPSE RIGHT HERE, THANKS Disorientation | Blurred Vision | Ringing Ears

No 26. IF YOU THOUGHT THE HEAD TRAUMA WAS BAD... Migraine | Concussion | Blindness

No 27. OK, WHO HAD NATURAL DISASTERS ON THEIR 2020 BINGO CARD? Earthquake | Extreme Weather | Power Outage

No 28. SUCH WOW. MANY NORMAL. VERY OOPS. Accidents | Hunting Season | Mugged

No 29. I THINK I NEED A DOCTOR Intubation | Emergency Room | Reluctant Bedrest

No 30. NOW WHERE DID THAT COME FROM? Wound Reveal | Ignoring an Injury | Internal Organ Injury

No 31. TODAY’S SPECIAL: TORTURE Experiment | Whipped | Left for Dead

Alternate Prompt List

Alt 1. Punctured

Alt 2. Falling

Alt 3. Comfort

Alt 4. Stitches

Alt 5. Stoic Whumpees

Alt 6. Altered States

Alt 7. Found Family

Alt 8. Adverse Reactions

Alt 9. Memory Loss

Alt 10. Nightmares

Alt 11. Presumed Dead

Alt. 12. Water

Alt. 13 Accidents

Alt. 14 Shot

Alt. 15 Carry/Support

Event Info

WHUMPTOBER is a month-long, prompt-based creation challenge (think: Inktober, but whumpier). There are 31 Official themes this year - one for each day of the month - which can be used, skipped, or combined in any way you’d like. They are meant to serve as inspiration without being taken literally (e.g. you don't have to include the exact wording into your work). Additionally, there are 3 prompts for each theme.  These are optional suggestions and can be used in conjunction with the theme, or as options/alternatives.  We want to give everyone as much creative freedom as possible, as well as increase event accessibility for folks with triggers and squicks.

Creators can PRODUCE work in any media they choose, including but not limited to: writing, visual artwork, and photo/video/audio edits. Creators can PARTICIPATE as much or as little as they want (i.e. you don’t have to do ALL the prompts if you don’t want to) and prompts can be used in any order. They are also free to use even after the event ends.

When uploading Whumptober content to your blog, be sure to tag the with:

#whumptober2020 …..(the event tag)

#no.1, #no.2, #no.3, …..(theme number)

#bruised, #stabbed,  …..(the theme or specific prompt you chose)

#fandom or #OC

#medium …..(gifs, fic, podcast, art, etc.)

#teeth, #etc …..(trigger warnings & any additional tags. Keep in mind not to add “tw” in front but only use the word/trigger itself, because tumblr sucks)

#nsfw, #nsfwhump …..(only for nsfw content)

PLEASE BE DILIGENT WITH YOUR TAGGING. Only properly tagged posts are considered for archiving on the official @whumptober2020​ blog. They must be tagged in the order above.

Unfortunately, due to the sheer number of participants in recent years, we cannot guarantee your work will be archived. A random selection of properly tagged posts from all genres will be reblogged each day.

Whumpers who produce content for 31 total theme days are considered event completionists and will be tagged in a masterpost at the end of the month.

Questions not addressed below can be directed to this blog as well.

Thanks for reading, and happy whumping!

Frequently Asked Questions

Q. What kind of content can I make? Can it be NSFW?

This is a MIXED MEDIA event! You can write fic, post meta, doodle or paint, create a gif set or photo edit, link a song, or get crafty with video - anything goes. As for NSFW, make what you like, we just hope that you’ll tag your work accordingly so that others participating in the event can stay safe :)

Q. Do I have to do all 31 Days? Can I post early/late?

Participate as much or little as you like, and post whenever! Just be sure to tag your posts properly (ex. #no.11, #psych101). Combining prompts into one piece of work is okay, and posting late is as well so as long as it’s in October.

Q. What if I don’t understand a theme?

Send us an ask! We’re happy to help clarify. That said, the themes are entirely up for interpretation :)

Q. Can I combine Whumptober with other creation challenges?

Absolutely! That’s like shooting two whumpees with one bullet :)

Q. Can I upload/repost my whumptober content to other social media platforms?

Of course! We’ve created an AO3 Collection to archive any fics posted there. The archive can be accessed here. The blog is the official archive, so please respect the boundaries of any closeted whumpers in your social circle :)

Q. Can I use prompts to write a new chapter for an existing fic?

Yes

Q. An existing fic I am currently writing contains many of the Whumptober prompts, can I use it?

If you are actively writing this fic at the moment with the whumptober prompts in mind, yes. If it just conveniently checks the boxes, then please don’t. You can, however, add new chapters answering one or more of the prompts.

Q. What kind of characters can I write for?

Fandom characters, OC characters, human, furry, alien, cyborg, whoever you like.

Q. Can I use a prompt multiple times?

Yes,  but it only counts once

Q. If I’m not comfortable with one day's prompts can I use a prompt of a different day as a substitute and still be a completionist?

Yes, but please do not use a specific prompt twice. We have also created an alternate prompts list that you can draw from [here].

Q. Where can I post my work?

Post where and how you want. You don’t even have to (cross)post it to Tumblr. Just keep in mind if it’s not on Tumblr we will not be able to add it to the blog archive.

Q. Can I start posting early?

You can, but this is an October event and wouldn’t it be more fun with everyone doing it at the same time? That being said, you can post early, but we won’t be reblogging any work predating October 1st.

Q. Do I have to finish a fic I started/can I post WIP’s.?

Yes you can post WIPs. And you’re not obligated to finish it in October for it to count towards being a completionist.  

Q. Is co-writing allowed?

Yes, absolutely, and it would count towards being a completionist for both/all of you :)

Q. Do I have to create 31 standalone pieces to be considered a completionist or can I write one continuous story?

One continuous story is fine.  The challenge is to write something for 31 prompts. If that’s spread over 31 fics or just one, you are still considered a completionist. (The same goes for every other media you choose.)

Q. Is there a min/max limit on word count?

There is no limit

Q. Can I combine prompts? Is there a limit on how many?

No limit and combine as many as you’d like.

Q. Is a hc/angst focus ok?

Of course!

Q. What’s considered nsfw?

See this post

Q. What's whump?

See this post

Q. My interpretation of the prompt isn't whumpy at all, does that count?

No, sorry, but keep in mind that whump [see definition] is something very nuanced and different for everyone and emotional whump/angst is just as much part of it, as is physical whump and torture. So before you dismiss your idea, think about this.

Q. Can I start working on the prompts before October?

Absolutely! That’s why we posted the prompts a month in advance. We recognise how difficult it can be creating for 31 days in “real time”.

Q. How do I tag triggers?

tw at the end of the word, ex. emeto tw

Q. Do I have to use your tags?

Yes, if you want your work archived on the blog. If not, feel free to use whatever tags you want.  

Q. Does combining prompts count towards completion?

Yes

Q. Can we @ you?

Yes but we mostly rely on the whumptober2020 tag

Q. Is there anything we are absolutely not allowed to write?

There are no rules, just be sure to properly tag your trigger warnings. And keep in mind Tumblr’s policies if you are posting it here (or the policies of whatever site you use).

Q. Where can I go for brainstorming help?

Here on Discord

Q. My characters are minors, is that ok?

Yes, but as with everything else, tags are your best friend.

Q. Can I cross post on other blogs?

Yes, multiple platforms and blogs are perfectly acceptable. You can also post different works to different accounts under different names, without posting them everywhere at once.

Note: This is a creation challenge, please don’t repost your old work under our tags (unless it’s been changed or edited for the event).

[taestefully-in-luv]

The Island | KTH (Seven)

Summary: You’re just two strangers waking up in a room on a lonely island where a company in the business of love has placed you. They believe that thanks to their in depth research you two are destined soulmates. What happens when your ‘soulmate’ and you want nothing to do with each other but falling in love is the only way to leave?

Pairing: Taehyung x Female reader

Genre: strangers to lovers, very slight enemies to lovers, soulmates au, roommate au, slow burn, fluff, smut, angst, slight crack, and drama.

Word Count: 10.6k

Warnings: swearing, sexual tension (?) maid outfit, spanking, vaginal fingering, panty sniffing, pussy slapping, Oc’s ex is an ass, use of a vibrator, mirror sex, unprotected sex, multiple orgasms, multiple positions, rougher sex, choking, sad oc, vulnerable Tae,

Notes: Ch7 is here! A lot goes on but I hope you guys like this chapter. I would say the second part of the story is truly beginning. ;) Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist, or send an ask if just want to chat about the stories!:)

Taglist: @ggukkieland @707sblog @peacedreamer14 @dopedreamfireparty @everythingnamjoon @taebae19 @typicalgenzworld @mooniyooni @getmemyfries @helenazbmrskai @justinetingball @jpeachytaev @marplest @calling-dips-on-j-hope @lecavivien @fancycollectormoon

© taestefully-in-luv

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Month 7

“I believe you missed a spot.” You glance over your shoulder to see Taehyung pointing down at some random spot on the lower shelf of the bookcase. His expression is dark, his eyes half lidded as he gazes at you. You turn around to face him, your breasts pushed out thanks to the…outfit…you are wearing. You reach forward with the white duster in hand and lightly sweep it across his chest.

“Where?” You tease. “Here?” You slide the duster lower until it barely grazes over his crotch.

Taehyung slightly moves his head to the side as he pushes a short breath of air out, he looks up as a sly smile draws itself on his perfect lips.

“Finish dusting the bookshelf,” he sounds amused, “Down there, I want you bent over, making sure it’s perfectly cleaned.” He points low again.

You raise your brows and say ‘Ah’, turning back around to face the shelves again. “Yes, Taehyung.” You whisper out and he smirks.

Your maid outfit is quite short on you, the material tight around your body. It’s very low cut giving Taehyung the perfect view of your pushed up breasts that he basically drools at the sight. But now he is getting the view of your ass. The way you are bent over, dusting the shelf has his pants getting tighter and tighter around his cock.

Taehyung walks forward until his crotch is directly pushed up against your cheeks, and his hands are gripping at your waist.

“Lower, clean lower.” He instructs and you begin to bend lower, your ass on fuller display now, the black lacey thong doing little to cover you and leaving nothing to the imagination. Taehyung’s eyes slowly skim down your back until they are settling at your cheeks being pushed up against him.

“Am I doing a good job?” you wiggle your ass and he bites down on his bottom lip. Hard. His plump flesh stuck between his teeth as he continues to stare down at you. You start moving your ass side to side, up and down. Circling your hips into his crotch and Taehyung sighs out, his eyes rolling to the back of his head.

“Don’t make me fuck you right here.” He warns, his voice is tight and strained. You can’t help but push back harder, feeling his hardening cock grow against your cheeks. Taehyung steps back from you, his hands sliding from your waist to your ass. He squeezes the cheek and gives one side a generous spank.

“Keep moving your hips.” He commands, “Fuck yourself onto my fingers.” And then his hand slides down until his fingers are at your wet folds, the material of your thong barely covering you. With his other hand he begins to slip your underwear off of you, he squats behind you dragging them down your legs, slowly…very slowly. You whine when he takes his time, he is always taking his fucking time. It drives you absolutely nuts.

“For fucks sake, woman.” He breathes out, “You are so fucking wet. You like dressing up this much? You like teasing me this much?” he lifts one foot at a time as he takes the underwear off of you. He brings the panties to his nose and sniffs the soaked material.

“Mm.” He throws the thong to the ground, and gets closer to your bare pussy.

You wiggle your ass again and he darkly chuckles, he brings his hand forward and lightly slaps your wet cunt.

“Taehyung!” You moan, you voice shaking as your arousal begins dripping down your pussy and onto your inner thighs. “Please touch me again.”

“My fingers.” He says, “That’s all you get.”

His fingers play at your folds again, they slide between them, gathering your juices. His fingers are so intimidatingly beautiful and long and you anticipate the feel of them entering you. But he doesn’t quite yet, he just continues to slide them between your folds. The tips of his fingers brushing against your clit, leaving you whining.

“I only have one rule for you baby girl.” Taehyung leans forward to kiss your right ass cheek. “You have to be loud. I want every microphone in this place picking up your moans.” He finally dips a finger into your hole and you cry out.

“That’s it. But louder.” He leaves another kiss as he enters another finger. The high pitched moan that leaves your lips should be illegal, it is such a cry in pleasure that it is obvious that his fingers bring you a feeling of euphoria.

“Taehyung, Taehyung.” You start chanting his name, in hopes he will enter another long finger but instead he starts to slowly, very fucking slowly, thrust his fingers in and out of you. He curls them in a way that brushes against your most sensitive fucking spot that has you rocking your hips along with his movements.

“That’s it baby.” He stops moving his hand, but continues to curl and scissor his fingers in you as you fuck his fingers. You rock your hips back and forth, choosing a quick pace as you fuck his long, delicious fingers. Your long, dragged out moans fills his ears and he just smiles as he stares at your pussy. His cock is aching. He wants to fuck you so bad. But as said before, he is a man of self-control. His ability to refrain from fucking you rough and quick astonishes even him.

“Taehyung!” you whine, “Oh god!”

His fingers continue to hit that spot inside you that has you tensing so hard, you clench around his fingers and moan loudly, so fucking loudly that you don’t even recognize yourself.

“That’s it…that’s it.” His other hand sneaks its way around your body until his fingers find your swollen clit. He starts rubbing tight circles, your knees shaking and your body starting to give out.

“I’m gonna—I’m gonna…” you pant, “Can I come? Please?” you move against him faster.

Taehyung licks his lips, he watches at your juices run down your legs and he feels so fucking pleased with himself. He finally starts thrusting his fingers into you once again, at a brutal pace while his other fingers still work themselves on your clit. Your shaky legs give out on you and you fall to all fours on the floor. Your face smooshed in the carpet as you raise your ass higher in the air.

“You can come.” He gives his permission and you groan out loudly, “Now.” He says with a low voice. You feel the wave of your orgasm hit you, it washes over you wave after wave, drowning you in pleasure. Your body is about to fall completely to the floor when Taehyung’s fingers leave your body to catch you.

“That’s it baby.” He whispers, “You did so fucking well.” He starts rubbing your back as he pulls you into his chest. “You put on quite the show. I bet these fuckers watching are creaming their fucking pants right now.” He chuckles. You breathe heavily into his chest, a small laugh leaving your mouth.

“How about we shower?” he offers, his hand still on your back. “Clean you up.”

“I want…I want you to come too…” you say between harsh breaths, “Not fair that I—”

“Oh baby.” Taehyung squeezes his eyes shut and laughs. “You think I wouldn’t come at the sight of you? You think my cock stayed good? Stayed pure? You think I didn’t explode in my pants watching you fuck my fingers? Watching you on all fours in this fucking outfit?”

You lift your head from him with a confused expression until a smirk plays at your lips.

“You came? Just watching me? Without touching yourself?”

Taehyung opens his eyes to gaze at you, his licks his lips and brings your hand to dip inside his pants. The feeling is wet and sticky and your eyes widen.

“You’re just too fucking sexy.” He admits with a dark chuckle, “Sometimes I allow myself to lose a little control, you know?”

Dear Lord, this man drives you fucking nuts. You lean in to find his lips…you don’t think you will ever get used to this. The feeling of his lips on yours…the feeling of this.

But something is off. You feel it deep within your bones. And nothing makes you more afraid.

~~~~~~

“W-What do you mean?” you feel your lip tremble. “What are you talking about?”

“This has gone on too long, y/n. I had to do something about it.” Ben’s lips are set in a firm line. “You are crossing too many boundaries.”

“Boundaries? I just told them we—”

“We what?” he snaps. “You blabbed and lied to the whole office.”

“L-Lied?” you feel your body get really warm, slowly filling with rage. “What are you talking about? Lied?”

“Saying we are in some sort of romantic relationship? How delusional are you?” he grits out, “So I was nice to you a few times, but you become so delirious and imagine we are in some sort of relationship?” he scoffs, “It’s truly sick.”

You pull your eyebrows together, completely confused and shocked at his words. What is he fucking saying? What is he going on about?

“I filed a complaint about you to HR. They will deal with this legally.”

“L-Legally?” You’re speechless. “What the fuck are you talking about Ben?” you glance towards his cracked open office door, you know at the volume you two are speaking at you can be heard.

“You told me you loved me!” you cry out. “You have fucked on this very desk!” you point at his office desk and look at him incredulously.

“Christ’s sake, y/n. I will call security.”

You feel tears bubble in your eyes and they begin streaming down your face.

“Ben? What is this about? Why are you doing this?”

“This is truly unprofessional.” He walks closer to you then leans down to whisper in your ear. “If I were you, I would just go.” Then leans away with a dark smirk on his face.

“Fuck you.” You spit out, “Go to fucking Hell.” You turn towards his office door and swing it open, walk through, and slamming it shut.

You wipe at your face, walking to your cubicle to gather your things. Layla stares at you from her seat and shakes her head disapprovingly.

“You’re so pathetic.” She snarls, “Making all this shit up.”

You whip your head in her direction, not believing your ears. Sure, you kept your relationship a secret for a while and maybe she has a hard time believing that but—

“Did you do all this because you were jealous?” Layal spits out, “That he would flirt with me? Did you want it to be you?”

“Layla—”

“Get out of here.”

You feel weak. Too weak to respond, too weak to defend yourself. You gather your things and make your way out of the buildings floor, to the elevators. You cry the entire way down to the ground floor. Not believing a thing that just happened to you. The man you have been with for over 6 moths just betrayed the fuck out of you, just embarrassed you in front of the entire office. He ruined you. You will never recover from this. How could you?

“So she…chose him over you?” Taehyung’s deep voice crawls all over your skin as he asks the question that depresses you further.

“I guess…” you bring a cracker to your lips, sticking it between them but not eating it. You stare blankly at the couch cushion beneath you, not entirely wanting to have this conversation.

“But you two were friends…” Taehyung scrunches his face in displeasure, he’s starting to get peeved, you can tell.

“It’s fine, Tae.” You finally open your mouth and take a bite of the cracker and swallow the dry food in one go. The crackers slowly making its way down your throat, a lump is formed and you reach towards the coffee table a gulp down some water.

“It’s not fine y/n.” he huffs out, “These people hurt you. Makes me wanna—”

“I said it’s fine.” You try again, setting the water back down. “It’s in the past.”

“Babe…” Taehyung’s hand finds yours, he wraps his fingers around yours tightly and strokes his thumb over your soft skin. “I know you don’t want to remember this…I understand. Talking about your past can be hard—”

“What about you?” you snap your head up, looking into his eyes with a somewhat hard stare. “Should we talk about your past?”

“I’m an open book, y/n.” he whispers softly, “You can ask me whatever and I will gladly tell you…” he squeezes your hand but you continue to stare at him coldly.

“What about Hana? In her eyes you guys are practically together.” You grit your teeth, “I kind of feel like the other woman here.” You admit. Taehyung’s eyes widen just slightly before they fill with something similar to guilt.

“But we weren’t together. And I doubt she is waiting for me all this time…”

“You claimed to be so in love with her Taehyung, and now you just aren’t?” you snap, making Taehyung flinch. His lips turn downwards as a frowns decorates his face, he then looks at you narrowing his eyes.

“Careful, y/n.” he warns. “I understand you’re feeling—”

“Oh? And how am I feeling?” you pull your hand away from his, setting it into your lap, joining your other hand.

“Insecure.” He says bluntly. “But it’s okay. I will say what I have to say to reassure you.”

“Oh? So you are just saying whatever you think will help me feel better? Whatever it takes, right?”

“y/n…” Taehyung can’t help but rolls his eyes. “Everything I say will be the truth. I would never…I will never lie to you.”

You stare at him with pinched brows, your breathing harsher than before. You grit your teeth in frustration and tear your eyes away from his.

“Sure, Taehyung. So what? You just suddenly don’t feel anything for her?”

Taehyung breathes in and out a few times, trying to gather his patience.

“A long time ago I asked you if it really seemed like a had feelings for her…everyone was right. I don’t. I just wanted to. I wanted something, someone…but now—”

“How do I know you just aren’t transferring those same feelings to me?”

“For fucks sake, woman.” Taehyung runs a hand down his face. “I am literally falling in love with you!”

Your eyes quickly dart across the room, you try to find something to focus on—anything but Taehyung.

“Look at me.” He demands of you. “Now.” And then you are feeling his fingers at your jaw as he softly guides you to face him. “I am going to make sure this works no matter what. And that will take a lot of fucking communication. So talk.”

“I…” your eyes finally find his, they’re like a pool of chocolate and you find yourself wanting to take a dip. “I don’t know if I am ready.” You breathe out, the admission making you feel small.

Taehyung gulps, his hands coming together to rest in his lap.

“Ready for what?” he asks, the nervousness evident in his voice.

“You.”

Taehyung’s hands are sweaty as he holds onto himself, bracing himself if you are to continue but you don’t. You stay silent as you search his eyes.

“Tae?”

Taehyung blinks at you, clearing his throat.

“I…” he begins, “I understand.”

“I do like you Taehyung.” You clarify before he can overthink. “I just—”

“I said I understand.” He reminds you softly. “And trust me, I know you like me, I would be blind to think you didn’t. I don’t play games y/n. I don’t want you to either. Be real with me, be honest.” He releases a shaky breath. “You’re still going through a lot, you probably don’t have closure…you probably have a lot to work out when you get back home.” He says quickly, “Love is the last thing on your mind—”

“That’s not true!” you cut in. “God, Taehyung you make me…you make me want to forget everything. You make me want to stay on this island with you for forever.”

Taehyung blinks at you again before he offers you a small smile.

“But that’s not real life y/n.” he looks down at his hands, “I want to experience real life with you.” He finds your eyes again, “And you aren’t ready for that.”

“I want to be.” Your eyes begin to wet with tears. “I really, really want to be.”

“I know baby.”

“Slow.” You scoot closer to him, “I still want to be in this. Just slow.” You say, not believing yourself. Your trauma isn’t your only problem here. It’s this whole damn company.

“You still want me?” Taehyung whispers softly and you begin to feel yourself melt into liquid, your body puddling on the couch.

“Tae…” you lean into his space, pecking his lips lightly. “Yes, of course.” You lean back and smile. “You mean so much to me…” you look down at his tense hands. You want to comfort him now. “You are such a light in my life.” You fingers cover his hands and your squeeze lightly. “I feel so strongly for you.” You admit. Hating yourself for being so drawn to him.

“Yeah?” he releases some of the tension in his body through a long, shaky breath.

“Yeah.”

“Then we have to communicate. I know it’s hard. But y/n, I am quite literally desperate to make this work.” He sighs, “I will do whatever it takes. And I just want to know if you will do the same.” His dark eyes pierce into yours and you find yourself being even more drawn to him, leaning closer and closer like he has you under some sort of spell.

“Yes, Taehyung. But…”

“She quit her job out of nowhere! Came back home? This isn’t damn suspicious to you honey?” Your moms voice is loud enough for you to hear from the living room.

“She said she has her reasons sweetheart. Let’s just trust her, be there for her.”

“Do you think this has anything to do with that boyfriend she had? You think they broke up?” you mother pries further, making your father roll his eyes.

“You think our daughter would move to another town just because of a break up?” he groans and you bite your bottom lip as you eavesdrop.

You hear your mother scoff, “Wouldn’t be that surprised. She’s known for running away when shit hits that fan.” She reminds your dad and you feel your eyes gloss over and the slight burn of your throat.

“Sweetheart…” you father warns, “Let’s just be there for her for now, she will come to us eventually.”

But will you? Even your father isn’t sure.

You feel the tightness in your chest only intensify as you recall your memories. Taehyung watches you with careful eyes as he thinks of your life and the things you’ve been through. He grabs you by the wrist and pulls you into his chest, your head getting buried into his shoulder and he starts to soothingly rub your back.

“You can cry if you need to.” His voice is soft, softer than you have ever heard it. This only pushes you to listen to him…you cry. You cry just as hard as you did in the elevator that first day. He rubs circles into your back and whispers sweet words into your hair. You hate this. You feel pathetic. But somehow you feel yourself getting freed with every tear that drops and soaks into his t shirt. You finally…finally after all this time, for the first time, feel someone’s support. You feel someone understand you, believe you.

“Taehyung…” you cry into his shirt harder as that realization hits you. “Taehyung…”

He slams his eyes shut and inhales you. The scent of your shampoo filling his senses and he goes dizzy.

“I’m here baby. I’m here.”

But he won’t always be here, you think. Once he goes home why wouldn’t he just continue to live his normal life? Why wouldn’t Hana wait for him? He’s amazing. He’s absolutely the best thing that has happened to you in the last year. Why wouldn’t someone wait for him?

This only makes you cry harder. He pulls you into his lap and continues to stroke your back. He is terrified. He won’t say that out loud, but he is. He is falling for you harder and harder with every moment he spends with you, good or bad. He just wants to protect you, to be there for you, to make you safe and happy.

“y/n?” he leans back to get a look at your crying face, but you only shove your face deeper onto his shoulder, refusing to be seen right now.

“Will you look at me?” he softly pleads. “Please.”

You hesitate for a moment but finally lift your head, showing him your swollen eyes and puffy lips.

“Still think you are falling in love with me?” you joke pathetically and Taehyung smiles sadly.

“I think I already am.”

Month 8

It’s been 8 months…stuck on this island for 8 months. You know the day to return home is coming at any moment. The anticipation quite literally kills you. Every day that passes you want to believe that Taehyung’s feelings are real. You want to believe it so badly. But something deep within you, stops you. You have these heavy ass doubts that weigh you down.

Taehyung isn’t blind…of course he has noticed. He has known you for 8 months, you and only you so of course he has noticed—he knows you—he hates how well he knows you. Taehyung doesn’t give up though, he gives you space when you obviously need it and he is there for you when you also obviously need it. This makes you feel like a mess. Mostly just makes you feel as pathetic as you probably are.

You lay in bed with Taehyung snoozing next to you, his arm draped lazily around your hips. Did this company win? They forced you two together…and he probably only thinks he’s in love with you. You are the only one he knows…what other choice did he have? You blink back growing tears and huff out loudly.

“You okay?” you hear Taehyung whisper from beside you, startling you.

“Y-Yes.” You lie. “Just—”

“Just stressed? You have been really stressed the last month…” he awkwardly chuckles.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know how to distress I guess.” You awkwardly laugh back and he stays silent for a moment.

“I could think of a few ways…”

It’s been a while since the two of you had sex. Maybe a few weeks? You’ve just been so into your head that you just can’t get into it. But Taehyung’s touch sounds so warm and inviting right now.

“And…what are those ways?” you turn to lay on your side, inching closer to him.

“What ways will make you most comfortable?” Taehyung asks slowly and carefully. His hand reaches up to caress you cheek and you automatically lean into his touch for the first time in what feels like forever.

“Anything you can come up with Tae.” You breathe out, you words hitting his plush lips.

“I think I know how to relax you.” He tests the waters by leaning in to kiss you. The sigh of relief that pushes past his lips when you kiss him back is almost comical, almost sad.

“Come with me.” He says pulling away from you, only confusing you.

“W-Where?” you ask as he rises from the sheets and steps out onto the floor. You follow his lead though, leaving the bed to join him. He takes your hand and leads you out of the bedroom, walking you through the hallway until you reach another bedroom door. This room?!

“Tae…” you softly say his name and he squeezes your hand.

“Just trust me.” He opens the bedroom door and switches on the soft, low lighting.

You both walk through the room and he leads you in front of the bed.

“Undress.” He tells you, his voice a little lower than usual. “Now.”

You release a long breath before lifting your tank top of your head and shoving your shorts down your legs. You stand here in just a purple bralette and some black panties and Taehyung raises a brow at you.

“All the way.” He says, “All your clothes.”

He crosses his arms over his chest as he waits expectantly. His dark gaze making you feel nervous so suddenly.

“D-Don’t stare.” You reach behind you to unclasp your bra, the purple material dropping to the floor, exposing your breasts.

“Panties next.” He commands, licking his lips as he gazes at you.

“Taehyung.” You whine, feeling so exposed. Taehyung walks closer to you until he’s standing inches away, his hand reaches forward until his fingers are playing with the band of your underwear. He lifts the band up and slaps it against your skin.

“I said panties next.” Then he’s stepping away from you as he smirks.

You gulp, trying not to roll your eyes as you feel the sting on your hips from the panties being slapped against you.

“Yes Taehyung.” You listen, dragging the panties down one leg at a time, they pool at your ankles and you kick them away.

“Good job baby girl.” He says, turning around to walk towards one of the drawers. He rummages through it until he finds what he is looking for.

“Perfect.” He says, holding something small in his hands. You don’t know what it is specifically, but you have an idea considering you know what’s in that drawer.

“Taehyung.” You whine again and he keeps what’s in his hand hidden as he walks towards you. He sits on the edge of the bed, scotting back just a bit and spreading his legs.

“Sit between my legs.” He orders. “Facing the mirror.”

You raise a brow at him and he smiles. “Just trust me.” He says.

“Okay…” you walk forward and turn around, sitting on the bed and scooting between his legs until your bare back in flush against his chest.

“Take your shirt off…I want to feel your skin on my skin.” You quietly beg. Taehyung takes a moment to think before he’s nodding his head at you, his eyes catching yours in the mirror.

“Sure baby.” He lifts his shirt over his head and throws it off to the side and you lean back to feel his warn skin on your back.

You stare at him through the mirror, his breaths hitting the side of your neck and you begin to close your eyes. What does he have in mind?

“Spread your legs. Put your legs on either side of mine…bend your knees…just like that, yes.” Taehyung praises you as you do as he instructs. You watch in the mirror as Taehyung guides your legs apart, his eyes on your pussy in the mirror as you expose yourself to him.

“Perfect.” Suddenly, you hear a low buzzing sound. Your eyes shoot open and you catch his gaze.

“Tae…”

He shows you the small bullet vibrator to you in the mirror, his smile growing as he watches your eye lids get heavier. You nod your head to him, and roll it back until it hits his shoulder.

“Oh baby, you’re the one doing it, I’m just here for support.” He takes your hand and wraps your fingers around the small vibrator. You eye him in the mirror and breathe out roughly, you feel yourself getting wet at just the thought.

“I’m getting myself off?” your shaky voice makes Taehyung chuckle.

“That’s the idea.” He gestures for you to begin. “Go ahead.”

You lick your dry lips and stare at yourself in the mirror. You slowly bring the vibrator closer to your body, your eyes scan your body until you get the idea to start at top. You bring the vibrator and circle it around your left nipple. You sigh out when it first makes contact, the vibrations making your bud harden. Taehyung watches in amusement, he bites down on his plump bottom lip and moves his hips upwards.

You can feel his cock getting hard at the top of your ass cheeks, between your crack. He must like what he sees. You slowly glide the small vibrator down the valley of your breasts until its dragging down to your lower belly. You sigh out again, drawing pictures over your sensitive stomach. You then glide the vibrator to your inner thigh, moving it closer and closer to your dampening folds. You sigh out a little louder this time, making Taehyung gulp as he watches you.

You feel his hard cock twitch in his shorts, the thin material doing little to hide his raging erection.

“You’re so fucking sexy.” He whispers in your ear, his eyes never leaving yours now.

You finally take the vibrator and put it at your center…you start low. The toy at your hole until you slowly, very slowly drag it upwards…you press the button and raise the speed a setting. You swallow hard when you drag it even higher, and the buzzing toy finally meets your clit. You don’t intend for this—but the moan that leaves your mouth is long, and loud. You slowly close your eyes as you circle the vibrator over your bundle of nerves, pressing the button again and it begins to vibrate faster. You move your hips up and down, the feeling so fucking good that you cannot help the way you squirm between his legs.

“Open your eyes. Look at me.” His hands go from your hips to your thighs and he squeezes them. You open your eyes and get a look at yourself first. Your expression is so fucked out as you continue to run the vibrator against your clit, the loud buzzing not doing much to drown out your moans. Then your eyes find his…his eyes are terrifyingly dark, filled with the most lust you can imagine. He heaving chest only pushes you to buck your hips harder onto the vibrator.

You press the button once more, the setting changing into a pulsing vibration and you cry out, pressing the button again, building the tension. Taehyung catches his bottom lip between his teeth again, he swears he can taste blood from how hard he is biting. You squirm harder between his legs, beginning to slide down his chest as you start to chase your high that is soon approaching. You are leaving a fucking mess…your inner thighs are drenched and you are leaving a big soak spot on the sheets from how dripping wet you are.

“You’re doing so good baby. Can I touch you?” Taehyung’s voice is deep and strained and you frantically nod your head yes.

You lean your head back on his shoulder again, your half lidded eyes watching as his hand moves closer to your pussy. He uses his other hand to spread your legs further apart and then his eyes bore into your pussy as his fingers dive into your neglected hole. He starts thrusting his fingers in and out as quickly as he can as you raise the speed on the vibrator. You clit is begging you to come. You watch Taehyung’s fingers fuck your hole in the mirror, his eyes focused on this as well. You whimper when you feel your orgasm coming to hit you like a fucking truck, it hits so hard. Taehyung’s free hand grabs a hold of your hand that holds the vibrator and pushes it down on your clit harder, making you see fucking stars as this orgasm washes over you with the most intense wave possible. You shake between his legs, squirming once more when you finish climaxing. But Taehyung keeps the vibrator on you and you cry out, loud and whiny.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” you grab a hold of his thighs and squeeze them tightly. “Taehyung!” you pant out.

“Come again.” He adds pressure on your clit, and raises the speed.

You feel the buzzing toy make you go into overdrive. Taehyungs fingers still thrusting in and out of you, curling inside your pussy making you overwhelmed. The toy works its magic though, making you feel a crash of waves, multiple waves drown you repeatedly. You ride them out, as he slows the vibrations down and his fingers leave your hole. You breathe out roughly, crying in pleasure.

“Good girl, good girl.” You lean back on Taehyung and shut your eyes, trying to even out your breathing.

After several long moments of composing yourself you begin to slowly turn in Taehyung’s lap, on your knees, facing him. His eyes stay on the mirror, they travel down your back until they land on your ass. His hands find their way to it, and squeezes it roughly. His eyes finally leave the mirror and meet your gaze.

“What is it baby?” one hand leaves your ass to caress your cheek, “What is it?”

“Will you fuck me? Right here?” you lower yourself onto his crotch, your dripping wet pussy leaking onto his shorts. You can feel how rock hard his is. How is he able to control himself this well?

“Is that what you want? Me?” He narrows his dark eyes at you and smirks.

“Yes.”

“Get on all fours.” He commands, lifting you off his body as he stands to take his shorts and briefs off. His member springs free and you have never seen it so angry, so swollen, so needy, so ready. You listen to what he says, getting on all fours, facing the mirror once more.

“I want you to be rough with me.” You say confidently. “Don’t wanna walk tomorrow.”

“Be careful what you wish for here babe.” Taehyung warns with amusement in his voice.

Taehyung gets on his knees on the bed and positions himself behind you, without much warning he quickly thrusts his cock into your hole. You gasp out, your body pushed forward from the force. Suddenly, he’s grabbing a handful of hair and pulling it up to lift your body to his. You are flush against his chest as he whispers in your ear.

“I’m going to fuck you as hard as I want then?”

“Yes.” You moan out when you feel him starting to slowly thrust in and out of you. He yanks your head to the side and starts placing hot, wet kisses down your neck. One hand on your hip and the other crawls up your stomach, squeezes a tit and then is at you throat. He starts to lightly choke you as he thrusts harder and harder, his grip on your throat getting tighter as well.

“All mine.” He growls into your ear. He pushes your upper body down until you are on all fours again, his eyes meet yours in the mirror and he bites his lips. He begins rolling his hips into your pussy, fucking you deeper. You hear him groan, he watches you in the mirror the entire time as you roll your eyes back. Your loud moans, whiny and desperate.

“Please, harder!” you beg. Taehyung smirks at you…he raises a hand and it comes down on your ass. Then his hips slap into your ass cheeks with such force that you shake, his thrusts so fucking powerful. His skin slapping against your skin, the squelching sound of your pussy and both of your moans fill the room.

“Fuck, fuuuuuuck.” You scream out, his dick reaching so far into you, hitting your fucking g spot over and over.

Taehyung lifts you up again by the hair and once you are on your knees his cock leaves your hole and he pushes you to the mattress. He positions you so you are on your side facing the mirror once again, then he lays behind you and quickly inserts his member into your pussy again.

“Aaagghh.” You groan out when you feel him start to fuck into you, his cock doing wonders. His hand makes its way back to your throat as he starts to choke you again, he leans down until his mouth is latched onto yours and his tongue is down your throat.

You kiss him back with passion, your tongues tangling and dancing. Its wet and sloppy and god, you couldn’t have asked for anything more.

Taehyung slaps his hips into you, and he squeezes his eyes shut as he feels himself getting closer and closer. His hand creeps up your pussy and his fingers find your clit, he rubs on it so deliciously quick that you feel the tension begin to build uncontrollably.

“Faster, faster.” You chant and he grits his teeth in frustration. He’s about to blow, he wants you to come first though but god, if he goes faster he’s going to come all inside you.

“I’m so close Tae, faster!” you plead. He breathes out roughly as he thrusts into you quickly, his fingers pushing down harder on your clit. You feel your orgasm so fucking close, it’s about to explode.

“Fuuuucckk.” Taehyung whines, “I’m gonna come y/n.” he warns. “Where should i—”

“Inside me!” you beg, “Please, please. I need to feel you come inside me, I want all of your cum…” you continue to beg and he throws his head back as he fucks your harder.

His fingers don’t stop their assault on your clit and that is it. That is all you need because you are coming, creaming all over his aching cock. He finally still his hips and shoots his load inside you, painting your walls a milky white. His chest heaves as he holds on to you, bringing you closer to his chest.

“Let me stay inside you.” He doesn’t ask. He tells. You nod your head and look at him through the mirror.

“Taehyung.” You moan, “You feel so good inside me.”

“You absolutely feel amazing.” He assures you, brushing a strand of hair away from your sweaty forehead. “Always do.”

After a few moments, Taehyung begins to softly thrust into you again, pushing his cum even deeper within you with his long, thick length. You wince at the feeling but you meet him half way, shoving your ass further into him.

“Again?” you ask in a moan.

“Can’t get enough of you.” He admits between bated breaths.

His head falls on to your shoulder as he slowly fucks you again, his breathing is as unsteady as can be. He groans when he feels your ass push back, making him fuck you faster.

“Slow baby.” He warns, “Just want to enjoy being inside you.” He takes one of your legs and lifts it over his, “Deeper?” he asks.

“Yes, this is good.” You moan, “So good.” The slow drag of his cock brushing against your most sensitive spots again has you melting.

He fucks you like this for a long while, your long, loud moans in competition with his groans and grunts. You swear you can die like this. His cock is sliding in and out of you so slowly and so accurately hitting your g spot that you clench around him so tightly causing him to slam his eyes shut and fuck you just a bit faster.

“Let’s come.” He orders and that is honestly what it takes for you. You feel your orgasm hit you and you ride it out as he comes inside you again, he whines when he finishes.

“God, you feel so amazing.” He whimpers out and you love the sound of him being the whiny one for once.

“You too babe.” You say, your eyes catching his in the mirror. His hand grips your waist and begins to turn you over in his embrace.

Taehyung smiles softly towards you and leans forward to catch your lips in a sweet kiss. He pulls back just as quickly and smirks.

“feeling a little less stressed?”

You feel your heart pinch in your chest…right…your stress. You feel guilt bubble over but you try to smile for him anyway. “Yes babe.” You whisper. “Yes.”

~~~~~~

It’s late, you know that much. You and Taehyung are laid in bed in the master, he’s all snuggled up against you, his soft breaths hitting the side of your neck. You hate yourself. You hate all this overthinking.

The company won. They fucking won. You were never supposed to fall for this, fall for him. Not actually, no, not really. But in pretend, yes. But now they won for real.

You feel lost right now. You briefly felt amazing, but now your overthinking has taken over and now you are left feeling anxious. And you have your biggest fear. Does Taehyung only think he’s in love with you? This company forced you two to be together, to “fall in love” and of course, after spending everyday with you he might think he feels something. That scares you, because it could be true. Your heart just breaks into pieces thinking about it. How do you know that the reason you have feelings for Taehyung isn’t because this company tricked you into it and it’s not real? That thought breaks your heart into even more pieces.

You lay here, your breaking heart pounding in your chest. You could cry. Well, of course you could fucking cry—it’s you. But you could really cry. The type of cry session where you release heart wrenching sobs that break your body.

“Why are you awake?” Taehyung’s voice has you jumping in place. He knits his brows together, concern is laced in his voice.

“Can’t sleep.” you reply plainly. Taehyung smiles, pinching your arm.

“Too happy?” he asks.

You can’t do this. Your bottom lip begins to tremble and you open your mouth to speak but no words come out. Taehyung’s smile fades as the seconds tick by.

“What’s wrong?” he rushes, his hand gripping your arm gently.

You can’t do this. Your eyes start glossing over and you try your hardest to blink back any building tears. Taehyung rubs his hand up and down your arm, trying his best to soothe you.

“y/n, talk to me.” His eyes are wide and round and beautiful.

“Please talk to me, please.” He begs. Yes, Taehyung fucking begs. The tone of his voice is soft and low and pleading. And this just pushes your tears further. Taehyung pulls you into his chest as you begin crying. Those heart wrenching sobs that break your body.

“It’s okay baby, shh, shh.” He pats your head, his fingers tangling in your hair.

“I’m here. You’re just…you’re just overwhelmed, that’s all.” He tries to reason for you. You just cry even harder. Taehyung clears his throat, “Yeah, just overwhelmed.” It sounds like he is convincing himself rather than you.

“Tae…” You cry out softly, trying to calm your tears. When you are able to form coherent sentences you lean back from him and look into his eyes.

“We should talk.” You whisper, for once in your life handling some confrontation.

“No.” Taehyung says, surprising you. “We can-we can talk tomorrow.” You can see the hurt in his eyes. He knows. He knows where this conversation is headed. Because of fucking course he would know, his mind has had to wander there too. Because it’s your reality. “Let’s-let’s just sleep.” And he pulls you in his arms again but you pull away. He looks pained by your action. Your heart drops.

“No Tae—”

“Please.” You both just stare at each other. Silence lingers in the air at your lack of response. Then you are scooting closer to his warm body, wrapping an arm over his chest, you hear him sigh in relief. He then holds you the tightest he has ever held you. His breaths are shaky and you want to cry again. But you don’t.

“I love you.” You barely hear him from how softly he whispers it. But you do hear him and it makes you want to bawl. But once again, you don’t.

You exhale deeply into his chest and close your eyes. You love him too. But you don’t say it. You let the silence swallow you both whole and you swear you can feel his body tremble for a moment and him sniffling above your head.

“Goodnight Taehyung.” And off to sleep you go, no matter how broken you feel.

~~~~~~~~

“Good morning sunshine!” Taehyung is bouncing on the bed slightly as he hovers over you. His smile is big and bright like a kid who just received candy. You want to smile but your heart is heavy. Why is he so happy?

“I made breakfast! Pancakes, your favorite…although I don’t make them as good as you,” He looks all over the room as he speaks, “But I have to say, they’re pretty damn good. I had to test try them of course, make sure they’re safe to eat.” He laughs at himself. “Why don’t you wash up? Then come downstairs.” He smiles at you, his bright eyes shining down at you.

Why is he acting like last night didn’t happen? Well, he’s acting like the good parts of last night happened but not the rest of the night.

“y/n?” he looks down at you, big puppy dog eyes.

“Huh?” You blink up at him.

“Come on!” then he leans down and kisses you on the lips. It’s quick, really quick. But it happens. He lifts himself back up, he nervously nibbles on his bottom lip and his eyes slide to the door. “I’ll wait for you downstairs.” Then he’s jumping out of bed and making his way out of the room.

What the fuck is happening? Why is he pretending you two aren’t necessarily in the best place right now? Like, you don’t have to have a serious conversation? But your confidence to confront him has wavered quite a bit, and you hate yourself for being so weak. You knew you should of done it last night but you let him win. You just couldn’t stand the sight of him being so sad. Today he is super happy! Fake happy. He’s forcing himself and it breaks your heart. Jesus fucking Christ. But his fake smile is better than his real frown.

You force yourself out of bed and drag your feet across the room to the bathroom. You wash your face and brush your teeth but you really need a shower. Especially after last night, you are sure you smell like sweat and sex. Taehyung didn’t seem to mind. He smelled clean. He smelled like soap and his musk, an intoxicating combination. After you’re through with the bathroom you make your way downstairs, the house smells like bacon and you groan at how good it smells.

“Hi.” Taehyung chirps, his smile grows as you walk closer.

“Hi,” You reply slowly, walking up to the dining table. Taehyung slides a plate of pancakes over to the spot in front of him.

“For you.”

The plate has 2 pancakes with strawberry slices covering the top and scrambled eggs and bacon on the side.

“Syrup.” He offers, sliding that across too.

“You didn’t have to…” You mumble under your breath. Taehyung continues smiling brightly at you, grabbing his fork and knife ready to dig into his own food. He really waited for you.

You walk closer to the table, your eyes downcast as you find your seat.

“Thanks…” You whisper. You look down at your food but how can you fucking eat? Your heart is in pain right now, you are in pain right now. You were tricked into these feelings, feelings you are not even sure are real. And he’s looking like the fucking sun right now.

“Aren’t cha gonna eat?” he says, mouth full. Good thing you speak mouth full Taehyung, or else you wouldn’t have understood that.

“Not that hungry.” you admit, not looking at him.

“Come on baby,” his tone is less happily forced and instead softer. “Please eat.” He sets his fork down, you can feel his eyes on you.

“Fine.” you give in quickly, not wanting to worry him. You hear him say ‘good’ in the most chipper voice and it makes you nauseas.

You eat slowly, mostly just picking at your food. You never look up from your plate, but you can feel Taehyung’s gaze, you can sense how worried he is. You know him. You don’t need to look at him to know.

“I was thinking we could paint today.” He says, breaking the silence. He stuffs some bacon into his mouth, chewing loudly. “Whaddya think?” You can hear the smile in his voice.

“Taehyung…” You begin to speak but he cuts you off.

“Great!” the sound of the chair screeching across the floor startles you, you look up from your food to see Taehyung standing, his bright smile even brighter. Yup, just like the fucking sun.

“I’ll clean up, you’re done right?” you only nod. “Why don’t you go to the art room and start setting up. I’ll be there in a minute.” He shines so brightly, you are forced to look away. You nod again.

You stand from your chair and walk towards the entry way into the hall but before you can get too far away you hear Taehyung at the sink cursing under his breath. Your heart drops. You turn around and peak into the kitchen to see him standing there, his hands at the kitchen sink with his head low.

“Fuck.” You hear the pain in his voice and you scurry off to the art room, not able to handle this right now.

~

After several minutes of setting up yours and Taehyung’s easel’s and placing down the paper, you search for what colors you want to use. Maybe sticking with blues since blue is how you fucking feel. You are grabbing for a few when you hear Taehyung enter the room. You turn to face him.

“Hi.” He says with that chipper tone but his eyes are glossy. Had he been crying? Fuck, you can’t handle this.

“Taehyung…” you start again, determined to confront this situation. But he cuts you off again with a pained smile.

“Thanks for setting up for me babe.” He ruffles your hair, like he just needed to touch you in some shape or form.

“R-right.”

You two paint in silence. Complete fucking silence. The tension in the room is absolutely suffocating, it’s hitting you in strong waves, pushing you around, drowning you. You can’t take this anymore, You have to say something.

“Taehyung—”

“Wanna know when I knew that I was in love with you?” He speaks up, his voice not laced in that fake joy. His eyes are focused on the painting in front of him, his fingers wrapped around the brush as he strokes the paper in beautiful color. You frown, not really wanting to know.

“Taehyung—”

“I fell in love with you when you made me realize I could be loved. Really loved.” He dips the brush into a cup of water, wiping it clean on the edge of the cup. “That I could love too.” He adds, still not looking at you, only focusing on his work.

“…Taehyung.” You just sound sad, the tone of your voice is depressing.

“You made me realize I don’t have to force any feelings…they could just be.” He pauses his hand before his paint brush is hitting the paper. “And I thought, ‘wait why do I feel this way?’” he lowers his head, chuckling to himself. “Then it was so fucking obvious.” He continues his work on the paper, dabbing the green paint in different spots.

You are left stunned. Speechless. Completely silenced. He just sits there, not even sparing you a glance as he paints his work of art. Like he didn’t just confess something so utterly beautiful to you. He must really think he loves you and it crushes you that he probably does not. You can’t let this go on any longer. He paints in green but you are about to turn his whole world blue.

“Your feelings aren’t real Taehyung.” you say in one breath. He stills his hand for a moment then continues to paint. “Don’t you see we’ve been tricked into these, these ‘feelings’” you use your fingers to quote the word for emphasis. “You just think you love me but you probably don’t. You’ve just spent enough time with me that you think you love me. You have no one else to love, why not me?” You see his body go tense and he stops his hand from painting. He lowers it and sets the brush down and turns in his seat to face you.

“How fucking dare you?” he grits out, his teeth are clenched and his eyes are narrowed. You jump at his exclamation.

“How fucking dare you try and tell me how genuine my feelings are?” He’s angry. His fists are balled up and his knuckles are turning white. So yeah, angry.

“Tae—”

“No! you let me fucking speak.” He grits again, “If I say I love you because I do then fucking believe me!” He’s shaking. His voice is loud and booming and it startles you.

“Please just listen to me—”

“No you listen.” He stands up from the chair and walks toward you, “Why are you doing this, huh? Things were so perfect.” He stops in front of you and pulls you up by the arms. Your chests almost touch from how close you are. “Unless…” he looks down at his feet, “You’re saying all of this because that’s how you feel. You’re the one unsure of your feelings. You’re the one who only likes me—loves me—because there’s no one else.” He looks into your eyes, searching for an answer.

“Maybe.” You finally say. And you wish you didn’t because Taehyung releases a shaky breath and his brows crease together as he forms the saddest smile you have ever seen. The canvas of his life is full of beautiful bright colors but you continue to splatter blue and grey paint all over it. The paint mixes together and drips down, a gloomy mess.

“Oh.” He steps back. “I see.” He takes another step back, carding his fingers through his hair. He looks into your eyes as his gloss over, “I’ll leave you alone then.” And he turns around and walks out of the room, leaving you behind. And being left behind is probably what you deserve. Your heart has fucking shattered. You don’t want him to leave you alone. You don’t want him to leave. You want this to be real, you want this to be real so fucking bad. But how can you be sure that it is? And of course cry baby y/n makes her appearance because you are back on your chair, letting a stream of tears fall down your cheeks. You cry. And cry. Loudly. You know Taehyung hears it but he does as he says—he leaves you alone. Just as you fucking deserve. Your body is shaking from your sobs and you enter a full on panic attack. Your breathing picks up and your chest tightens and you feel like you are being choked. Like someone wants you dead.

“If I say I love you because I do then fucking believe me!” His words echo in your mind. Right. He’s asking you to trust him. You want to…but you are now just debating on trusting yourself. You want to believe your feelings are real. You still believe the company tricked you both, they could of grabbed any two strangers and they would probably “fall in love” with given time. But thinking that feels wrong because your relationship with Taehyung is deeper than that. You know that. He…is your best friend. And you…you…

You wipe at your face as fresh tears slide down the warmth of your cheek. Your throat burns as you choke on a sob. You have fallen in love with him. Genuinely. And you have to trust your feelings. You have to trust his feelings. But it is so, so hard.

~

The rest of the day drags on slowly, you hole up in your room until night time finally approaches. You have cried enough today for the next 5 years. Your eyes are swollen and so, so puffy. You look at yourself in your bathroom mirror, and wince at the sight. You look rough, you won’t lie. You finally decide it’s time to try to sleep.

You slip between the sheets and slide down far into them, letting the soft material hug you closely. You’ll be sleeping without Taehyung tonight and the thought makes you feel oh so lonely. You close your eyes and think of him. You can’t help but chuckle when you recall meeting him at first…you thought he was some closed off asshole. He even made a big deal that he would not fall in love with you. Then your smile fades…you recall the first time you cuddled with him, first time you saw him naked, first time you kissed him…you think of the first time he was inside you…his long, beautiful fingers. You think of the first time he was really inside you.

You start to feel so lonely and lost without him. But sleep finally starts to take over, your limbs feeling heavy, your eyes refusing to stay open. You know you two will have to really talk this out. There’s still so much you have to discuss because you are just so confused and unsure at the moment, but you have a feeling Taehyung will somehow make you feel okay. Finally, after a long day…the world goes dark and you’re asleep.

The sun is shining extra brightly this morning…your dark drapes doing little to cover the offending light like it usually does. You keep your eyes closed though, not wanting to get up quite yet. Your mind automatically goes to Taehyung again…you wish you were feeling yourself wrapped up in his arms this morning much like other mornings. You wish you could feel his breaths fanning against your neck, you wish you could feel his limbs draped over your own.

You start to feel that familiar heartbreak…you really, like really need to talk to him. Maybe he can sort out your messy, mushy brain, maybe he has the answers. Or maybe you just want to see him. Even if you are feeling as uneasy as you are. You just want to make sure he is okay.

You finally begin to open your eyes, one lid at a time. The sun making the room glow in whites and yellows. You start to sit up and rub the sleep that crusts your eyes and soak in your surroundings.

That’s exactly when you feel the panic set in. This isn’t your bedroom. This is a small bed, there’s none of Taehyung’s painting on the walls and your sheets in your bed are much softer. Then it hits you. You do recognize this room. It’s your room at your parents’ house. You start to sit up straighter, your entire body shaking. Your hands tremble as you pull the blanket on the bed back and try to stand from the bed. But your knees are weak, your legs shaking. You feel like someone has drained all the energy from your body as you stand here, you are sure you are as pale as a ghost. Your mouth is agape and your eyes wide. You slowly look around the room, there’s things in here that weren’t before…like this place has become a place for storage.

You hear fainting humming coming from the other side of the house, your head whips up in that direction and you recognize that voice. Mom? You blink repeatedly, not believing your ears. You slowly take a few steps forward toward the door and slowly reach for the knob, your weak, trembling hand trying to twist it so you can open the door. Once the door is opened you smell bacon…but unlike yesterday the smell of bacon is making you nauseas. You walk with shaky legs, small steps at a time as you walk through the hallway to make your way to the kitchen. The humming more clear and becoming louder the closer you get.

You finally walk into the kitchen and see your mothers back, she is at the stove cooking. Your breathing is sharp as you stare at her and you feel yourself become dizzy and lightheaded.

“Mom?” you stutter out quietly. Your mother freezes her actions at the stove. She slowly turns around and once she spots you she drops the tongs she was holding on the tiled floor. She is maybe even paler than you, she looks like she legitimately saw a ghost.

“y-y/n?”

“Hey what happened, I thought I heard you drop some—” your father is cut off when he walks in from the living room as he sees you. He blinks at you over and over until his eyes are wet with tears and he’s rushing to hug you.

You are in a state of shock that you don’t process that your mother has also finally raced over to hug you as well. Your parents embracing you tightly as they sob.

What’s happening? Why are you here? Where’s Taehyung?

~

It’s been two weeks and fuck. He has no way of contacting you. You don’t have any social media and you two never exchanged numbers…the only way for you to talk to him is if you reach out. And you…you aren’t sure you want to just yet. You’re sure he’s settling back into life just like you are, you don’t want to intrude. He has family, he has friends. You’re sure he hasn’t even thought about you yet…you’re sure he’s doing okay.

It’s been two weeks and you have mostly been in and out of intelligence offices for your country. You have had to describe the island over and over to strangers, they have been on the search for you for the last 8 months. Your parents were starting to give up. The love company kept them updated on your island life though, sending them pictures of you and Taehyung during your 8 month stay. You are creeped out all over again.

You’re sure Taehyung is going through something similar in Korea. Time keeps passing and every day you lose the spark and motivation to reach out to him. You stalk his social media but he has not posted anything until finally, 2 months into your real lives again you see he has posted a picture of him and his friends. He looks happy. And that’s how you let a total of 6 months pass you by without reaching out to Taehyung. 6 months without the man you without a doubt love. 6 months of absolute loneliness, even when you are surrounded by people. 6 months and you are sure he has probably moved on. But you have not. Even with these last 6 months…Taehyung is all you can think about. 6 fucking months.

[naughtyneganjdm]

Caught in the Middle - Chapter 1

Summary: Daryl Dixon finds himself head over heels for the new teacher at the local high school that he works at, but she has eyes for Negan.

Characters: Negan, the reader (OC), Daryl Dixon, etc.

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/33634642/chapters/83581864

Warnings: Swearing, etc.

Notes: This is going to be another short story. I'm going to attempt to keep the chapters shorter so I can get through this story pretty fast. I was talking to a friend about something and this idea kind of came to me. I know it's kind of different, but I plan on switching POVs frequently so Daryl is not the main character of this story. There are three main characters. Negan, Daryl and Y/N. Hopefully you guys like it!

Y/N means your name or whatever name you want to put in there!

There weren’t a lot of things in the world that caught Daryl Dixon’s attention. For the most part, he had closed himself off in general. After the life he had growing up, he had become cold to things in the world. He’d get up, go to work, head home, sleep and then repeat. So, for someone to really catch his attention was a pretty big deal. Especially since Daryl wasn’t one for relationships or being attracted to people. Relationships were too much work and he just didn’t have the patience for them. Well, that was until someone new arrived at work. After that, it kind of changed everything for him. Which surprised the hell out of him, but he looked forward to every minute he got to spend with this new person.

Daryl was the auto shop teacher at the local high school. Was it a cool job? Fuck no. Was he good at it? Probably not as good as he could have been, but he was good at fixing things. When he was younger teaching was not something he would have ever pictured himself doing. Hell, he wasn’t exactly the most social person, so to say it was a struggle sometimes would be a massive understatement.  

When a friend offered him a job after an I owe you situation, Daryl quickly snagged that shit up. He would have been stupid to not take this job. With his background, he was lucky to have a job as it was. Every day, he would go to work and just do what he had to in order to get through the day. He never really got close to the other teachers, but he observed from afar. Watching people and learning things without being a part of them was something Daryl had become good at. The students liked him well enough, but it wasn’t like he was trying to make friends or be everyone’s favorite. He just did what he had to do and that was it. Going above and beyond was not Daryl’s style.  

A few months ago, a new teacher had transferred to their school and Daryl felt like they kind of immediately hit it off. They had literally run into each other in the hallway on her first day when she was lost. Daryl was coming out of his classroom looking at his phone and nearly knocked her over onto the floor. When he caught her, there was something about her smile that had caught his attention. When she had asked him for a tour of the school, he was eager to do it. Not that he was very good at it. Daryl was never a man of many words, but around Y/N he found himself opening up more and more. That was the nice thing about this girl. She made him step out of the box and be something more than he usually was.

Every day the two of them would find time to talk to each other and he relished in every moment of it. It became something where he started looking forward to going to work. He was excited to wake up every day. It was all because of her and the weekends were the worst because he didn’t actually get to see her. They texted each other, but the weekdays had become his favorite thing.

An overwhelmed breath fell from his throat when he looked over his shoulder after hearing the group of loud, boisterous laughter filling the bar that he was in. This was new for him. A lot of the teachers would get together some nights at the local bar to hang out. Of course, there were certain groups that liked to hang out more often than not. The source of the laughter stemmed from the staff favorite, Negan Smith. For some reason, every person seemed to love Negan. He always drew the attention of people and people found him hilarious. Daryl found him to be juvenile and somewhat annoying himself, but somehow, Negan was always the person people drifted to. Even being an asshole, all the students loved him as well as the teachers. Negan was the life of the party and very much the opposite of Daryl. Hell, Daryl didn’t even want to be here, but he was because he wanted to see Y/N. That’s really why he was there. It was the one time they would get together outside of work and Daryl loved being around her outside of a work setting.

Turning back toward the bar, Daryl reached out for the neck of his beer bottle and slid the bottle in front of him. It made him wonder if Y/N was actually coming tonight. Usually she would be here by now. When the laughter seemed to get louder, Daryl grumbled to himself and lowered his head. This wasn’t Daryl’s kind of scene and each moment he spent there proved that more and more.  

“Forget this,” Daryl got up from the stool and started pushing into his pockets to look for his money until he felt the sensation of someone nudging him.

“You leaving this early?” Y/N muttered when Daryl looked to her with his big blue eyes. A tiny grin expanded over his features and he immediately shook his head. Was he getting up to leave? Yes, but with her here he would reconsider that. Pulling out the stool beside him for her, Daryl felt his heart skip a beat in his chest when she moved in beside him. “Sorry I took so long. I got caught up at school checking some papers. I would have gotten it done earlier, but someone came to talk to me for a while so that kept there a little longer than I would have liked to have been there.”

“You finish everything then?” Daryl confirmed and she gave a nod before ordering herself a drink. Truthfully, he didn’t care why she was late. He was just happy to see her. “Did you have a good day?”

“Yeah, it was pretty nice,” she answered with a simple shrug. “What about yourself?”

“Oh yeah, it was great,” Daryl lied and her eyebrows arched in curiosity when he said that. A nervous laugh fell from his throat and he shrugged.

“Oh really?” she chuckled, thanking the bartender when he came back with her drink.

“Okay, so it was just like every other day. Until now,” Daryl reached for his beer and swallowed down the last bit that was left in there. “Now that you’re here, it’s pretty great. You could brighten any mundane day for me Y/N. You know that.”

“You are so sweet,” she reached out to hook her arm around his shoulders to give him a hug and his face flushed over when she pulled away. “That was smooth. That was real smooth.”

“Well, that’s me. Mr. Smooth,” Daryl brushed his fingers through his hair to straighten it out. “But you are pretty cool. You’re the most interesting thing in this town. I tell you that.”

“And that’s why you’re my best friend here. Even if it’s not true, you are always saying things to make me smile,” she reached out to place her hand over his and she gave it a firm squeeze. “You’ve been the best to me since I transferred here. You’re the greatest. You know that?”

“Yeah?” Daryl was happy to hear that. At some point he was genuinely hoping the best friend label would progress into more, but right now he was okay with settling with that title. Just getting to be with her was more than enough right now. He didn’t want to push too hard or too fast. “I’m only saying what I believe Y/N.”

“We know I am so far from being the most interesting thing here,” she denied his statement while she took a sip of her drink that she had gotten. When the noise from the group in the back filled the bar again, they both looked back. The other teachers at the school were surrounding a pool table and Negan was obviously playing against one of the others. “You know, we should do that one day. Play a round of pool. I’m actually really good at it. We should do teams. You and I could go up against Simon and Negan.”

“Oh, yeah,” Daryl rolled his eyes, turning himself back toward the bar while she kept her eyes on the game that they were playing. “That’s really not my thing. Putting myself into the thick of that. I have no interest in being part of that group.”

“They aren’t so bad,” she suggested and Daryl looked to see to see that her focus was still locked on them. Looking over his shoulder, Daryl noticed that Negan had lifted his head and his eyes connected with hers. With an arrogant bob of his head and a bright smile, Negan gave Y/N a wink. Looking to Y/N after Negan did it, Daryl could see that it made her smile and her face flushed over. “I think you would enjoy yourself at times if you opened yourself up to it. The people at the school would really like you.”

“No one had interest in me before you were here and I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t now either,” Daryl retorted with a snort when he looked back again to notice that Negan and Y/N were still staring at each other. Someone grabbed a hold of Negan to get his attention and Daryl felt his body tensing up over the moment he just witnessed. “They really aren’t that interesting Y/N. Plus, I’m not all that good at pool.”

“Well, I have a table at my home. One day you can come over and I could teach you some tricks,” she offered up, her eyes finally meeting his again. The air around them was cool and Daryl didn’t know if the chill filling his body was that or the jealousy of that stare between her and Negan.  

“That would be really cool. I’ve yet to be at your house yet you know,” Daryl reminded her and Y/N gave him a shifty look. “Well, I’ve dropped you off…”

“And I’ve asked you if you wanted to come in multiple times to hang out. Every time you turn me down,” she pointed out and he knew that he didn’t want to come in because he was afraid that he would do something stupid. It had been a long time since he was interested in someone. He didn’t want to make a mistake that made this girl leave his life forever. “You know you are welcome at my place any day. You at least know where I live. I don’t even know where you live.”

“Well, it’s not a nice place where I live,” Daryl explained with a frown knowing that he lived with his deadbeat brother. Most of the time Merle wasn’t there, but he didn’t want the one day she would come over to be one of the few times Merle came over. With his mouth, Daryl was sure that Merle would scare Y/N away forever. “It’s kind of a mess. You deserve to be in places better than that.”

“I don’t care what your place looks like. You’re my friend and I would like to spend time with you other than being here sometimes. You know that,” she professed with a shake of her head, reaching out to place her hand over his arm. “I’m not the kind of person that cares what your place looks like. I like you for you.”

“I think you’re the only person in the world that has ever said something like that to me,” Daryl confessed and he watched her roll her eyes. Obviously, she thought he was joking, but he wasn’t. That’s what was sad. No one had ever been as nice to him as she had been. How couldn’t he like this girl? She was one of the only people he had ever met that didn’t make him feel like a deadbeat or a waste of space. “You think I’m kidding?”

“Who wouldn’t like you Daryl?” she gave him a confused expression and he didn’t know how to answer that. “There is a lot of good to you.”

“The world never made me feel that way,” Daryl informed her with a weak smile before waving to order himself another drink.

“Well then the world needs to take another look. You need to throw yourself out there Daryl. You don’t have to be this loner for the rest of your life, you know?” she insisted with a shake of her head. “You deserve to be happy, just like everyone else.”

“Where did you come from?” Daryl sighed wishing like hell this girl would have dropped into his life sooner.

“You know where I came from,” she hesitantly laughed and then turned in her seat to look back at the rest of the group behind them again. “Truth be told Daryl; I like it here a lot more than I did at the old school I worked at. People here are more like family. They are friendlier. They don’t always seem like they are out to stab you in the back. People are willing to help and make you feel at home.”

“You must be talking to people I don’t know,” Daryl explained with a groan, turning on his seat to look at the crowded bar behind him.

“You don’t talk to people Daryl,” she replied with a silly glance and Daryl grunted while taking a sip of his beer. “You wouldn’t have even talked to me if I wouldn’t have run right into you on my first day here. It took me almost breaking something for you to actually talk to me.”

“Regardless,” Daryl knew what these people were like and he had no interest. No one really caught his attention or made it seem like they deserved his respect. In his opinion, most of the people at the school just liked the attention they could get. That was it. Noticing the way that Negan looked over his shoulder at stole another glance at Y/N made Daryl bite into his bottom lip. “Who did you talk to today after work?”

“What?” she muttered and Daryl could see that her attention was somewhere else and he frowned. Daryl reached out to nudge her arm and it took a second before she shook off to look over at him. “It was Negan. He’s funny. The two of us have been talking a bit over the last few weeks. The guy really likes to cook and he was bragging about his food about a month ago. Offered me some and every few days he is always bringing in things for me to try that he made. Today it was a raspberry danish that he made.”

“Oh, the guy is a good cook too, huh?” Daryl snorted, his eyes rolling when he thought about Negan and how everyone found the guy pretty much fucking perfect. Then again, he found himself super jealous at the idea of the two of them talking. Why had Y/N never mentioned the fact that her and Negan had been talking? “You know, you shouldn’t be taking food from strangers.”

“Oh come on,” she laughed, her eyebrows creasing with amusement when she gave her attention fully to Daryl. “Negan is not a stranger. I work with him and if something bad happened to me from the food, I’m not the only one he gives his food too.”

“Yeah, I’m sure you’re not,” Daryl scoffed at the idea, turning away in disgust from the rest of the people from work.

“What is it with you and Negan?” she pondered, sliding in beside Daryl elbowing him playfully while Daryl kept his head down.

“What is it with you and Negan?” Daryl repeated her question with an emphasis on the word you. His eyes narrowed and she stole another glance back over her shoulder at Negan.

“Okay, fine,” she let out a long exhale of air, lowering her head. It took a minute and she reached for her drink to quickly finish it off as if to gain courage to tell him what she wanted to say. “Since you’re you…I won’t lie to you, but you have to keep your mouth shut about it.”

Instead of saying anything, Daryl stared out at her with his confused blue eyes while her right hand spun in the air trying to come up with the right words to say, “I kind of have a crush on Negan. I know it’s silly since we’re adults and using that word is so juvenile, but I don’t know. I just find him so charming and he makes me laugh. When he smiles, I just find myself smiling, you know? Those dimples are gorgeous and he’s got a wicked sense of humor.”

“You are crushing on him?” Daryl restated what she had just said and she hushed him. Disappointment filled his entire body and his face felt exceedingly hot. An ache developed at the center of his chest and he had to pull his eyes away from her. It hurt way too much to even hear that from her. Especially since he had the biggest crush on her and yearned for more. Flicking his bar napkin aside, he rolled his eyes and shook his head. “Of course you like Negan. Everyone likes Negan.”

“What do you mean?” she tilted her head to the side noticing that Daryl no longer seemed to want to look at her. It made things a little uncomfortable because that wasn’t the reaction she thought she would get for being honest with her friend.

“I mean it makes sense that you would be like everyone else. Negan is the cool guy. The jock. The person that everyone drifts toward,” Daryl stated with a scoff hating that of all the people she liked, it was Negan. “I just thought you were a little more interesting than that.”

“Ouch,” she reached up to place her hand over the center of her chest, feigning like he hurt her with her words. “Where did that come from?”

“I just thought you were different than most people. Everyone sees Negan and their eyes just light up. He eats the attention up and people just attract to him like flies to bug zapper,” Daryl ranted hating that his jealousy was getting the better of him, but it was. “When I met you, I just thought you were someone who was attracted to something different. Like you said, you like people for who they are.”

“Just because I have a silly crush on someone doesn’t mean I’m not the same person that is your friend. You and I have gotten super close over the last few months. I think you know me better than anyone else does here,” she pointed out, hating to hear him saying the things that he was. “I just like the way that he makes me feel, you know?”

“And you’re attracted to him,” Daryl snorted knowing that there was no doubt that she was attracted to his looks by all the times he had caught her staring at Negan with heart eyes tonight. “You’re right…I know you better than anyone else here and I can promise you that you deserve better than Negan. No matter how much you love the fucking dimples.”

“Negan would never even look twice at me Daryl,” she talked down on herself and Daryl found himself upset that she would even do that. Talking illy of herself to bring up Negan made him just pissed off. “Look at him, he’s just so good looking and then there is me.”

“What was in this drink?” Daryl reached for her glass to look it over and he gave her a disgusted face when she said that. “You are fucking beautiful. I can’t believe you said that because you are absolutely gorgeous. Not only that, but you are super cool. Why wouldn’t someone like you? There is nothing wrong with you. You’re perfect.”

“Except for the fact that I crush on Negan which makes me just like everyone else,” she proclaimed, stating what he had said previously and it made him bite down on his bottom lip. Clearly it upset her that he compared her to everyone else just because she liked Negan.

“I’m just saying, with what I know about you I don’t think Negan would be your type. You take work seriously and Negan…I don’t think serious is even a word in his vocabulary,” Daryl complained about Negan knowing that he still was so upset that she was crushing on what he would consider the popular guy. God, life was still so much like high school and he hated it. He felt like a teenager instead of being a teacher that actually worked at a high school. “Like, he totally got fucking fired from this job a while back. You know that?”

“How?” her face wrinkled up in surprise when Daryl said that.

“It was like a year before his wife died,” Daryl clarified and he could see the sadness that flooded in over Y/N’s features when she heard him say that. “You didn’t know that his wife died?”

“No. No one ever mentioned that to me,” she answered honestly knowing that it wasn’t something a lot of people would open with so it made sense that she didn’t know about Negan’s late wife.  “What did she die from?”

“She got pancreatic cancer,” Daryl responded with frustration hating the way that she was looking at Negan now. Visibly it made her like Negan more and he damned himself for even saying it. “Him and his wife were at this bar one day. They got into an argument with a guy and Negan beat the fuck out of a guy here. The guy said something nasty to his wife, but he beat the guy almost to death. It was one of the student’s parents, so he ended up getting fired. Was on probation and everything. Then they found out about his wife being sick and dying. They felt bad for him and the community kind of got together to get him his job back to help take care of his wife. Who gets that fucking lucky, huh? Most people that almost beat someone to death don’t usually get people helping them like that. I can promise you when most people make mistakes, it follows them around for the rest of their lives.”

“Damn, he’s been through a lot then, hasn’t he?” she turned further in her chair to look back at Negan who was still playing a game of pool. “You wonder how he continues to be so positive and outgoing when he went through all of that.”

“You have to be fucking kidding me,” Daryl groaned upon hearing her say that and he could see that the story upset her. Empathizing with Negan over that story made him so angry to hear that. That wasn’t the kind of response he was expecting her. When he told her that he almost beat a guy to death, he thought she would look down on Negan. “He beat the hell out of some guy Y/N.”

“You said the guy he beat said something nasty to his wife. He was defending his wife’s honor,” she filled in the details and Daryl let out a frustrated exhale. “If someone said something bad about someone that you cared about, wouldn’t you do the same?”

“That’s beside the point,” Daryl reached to grab a hold of Y/N’s wrists to get her to look at him. “When I was a kid I lived with my older brother and my dad. My dad was always so drunk that he never got up. We didn’t have food. My brother was always gone and I was starving. People knew what my family was like, but they saw trash when they looked at me. I stole food in order to survive because I had nothing. Do you know what happened to me? I didn’t get a slap on the wrists and told to be a good boy. That stuff stuck with me my whole life. I wasn’t that poor kid that lived in a bad situation, I was that awful little boy that was a thief. No one felt bad for me.”

“Well that makes those people terrible Daryl. You were a little boy that needed help and instead they turned their head away,” she reached out to wrap her fingers around his to give them a firm squeeze. “I think…we all have our own stories. You know? There are things that I’ve…gone through. Horrible things and we all wish there was someone there that could have saved us. You know?”

“What does that mean?” Daryl saw the way she swallowed down hard and he tried to reach out to touch her, but she held her hand up to keep him from doing so in that moment. “What happened to you?”

“Nothing, I’m just saying,” she reflected the question and waved for the bartender to get her something else to drink. “Sometimes it’s nice to hear that people did what they did for Negan. I don’t usually have a lot of faith in the world, so when you hear that a community came together to help a man to help him care for his dying wife it makes you feel better about things.”

“Right,” Daryl stammered knowing that what she had just blown off made him think there were things about her that she didn’t tell him about. Now she wasn’t so much an open book, but someone who evidently had their secrets they kept to themselves. Daryl watched her toss back the drink she had gotten and he could see that their discussion had changed her a bit. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m going to go use the restroom,” she pointed over Daryl’s shoulder toward the ladies’ room and Daryl felt like he should say something to comfort her when she stood up. Something had changed in her beautiful features and he was just never very good at this stuff. With her getting ready to leave, he felt himself choking up at the idea of trying to make her feel better. “I’ll be right back.”

“I’ll be here,” Daryl didn’t know what the hell to say as she moved around him toward the bathroom. Tapping his hands against the top of the bar again, he tried to gather in his mind what he was going to say to her when she came back.

“Daryl!” a loud voice boomed in beside him as he felt the warmth of a body moving near him. Turning his head unhurriedly, he saw that Negan had slid in beside him and Negan’s bright smile ate up most of his face. “You are just the man I wanted to talk to.”

“Why?” Daryl scowled hating to hear a statement like that.

“How are you doing today buddy? Can I buy you a drink or something?” Negan offered attempting to call out to the bartender.

“I have a beer,” Daryl nodded toward his drink and Negan’s right eyebrow raised. Having Negan coming over to him and act like he wanted to speak to him felt weird. It certainly felt out of place. “What do you want Negan?”

“Wow. You’re a man that gets straight to the point, huh?” Negan snickered before calling over the bartender to get himself a drink. When he was done, Daryl cocked his head to the side almost waiting for Negan to speak up.

“Well, considering you’ve never had an interest in talking to me before you undoubtedly want something,” Daryl suggested making Negan’s eyes narrow out at him and Negan bit at his bottom lip. “So, what is it?”

“That’s kind of bullshit Daryl,” Negan retorted with a grunt, his eyes still hooked on Daryl’s when he reached for his drink that the bartender brought. “I’ve asked you plenty of times if you wanted to join us in a round of drinks back there or if you wanted to play some pool. You’re the one that always says no. I just assumed you wanted to stick to yourself and shit after about the fifth time of asking you.”

“Well that was a smart deduction. I’m surprised you came up with it,” Daryl snorted making Negan laugh in response after Daryl said that.

“Wow, look at the smartassery on you,” Negan seemed impressed with Daryl instead of being offended by what Daryl actually said. “Here I was thinking you were this quiet guy, but you’ve got some bite to you. I fucking like it Daryl. You should use that spicy ass attitude more often. Good for you man.”

There was nothing Daryl could say to respond to that, so instead Daryl found himself laughing as Negan reached out to pat Daryl on the back in delight, “Here I was thinking you would get fucking offended and leave me alone.”

“It takes a lot to offend me since I really don’t give a flying fuck what people think about me,” Negan assured Daryl with a wiggle of his brow. Reaching for his drink, Negan swallowed it down before slamming the glass down on top of the bar with a wince. “I actually wanted to talk to you about the new girl. I saw that the two of you were close. Are you dating? Or are you just like really good buds? Because honestly, I’m really fucking interested in her. I was thinking of letting her know I was interested, but if you two are together I don’t want to fuck that up. So I figured I would ask.”

All of Daryl wanted to tell Negan that he was dating her so that way that Daryl could have Y/N to himself. Turning away from Negan to reach for his beer, Daryl debated on what to say. God, he like Y/N so much, but at the same time he knew how much he cared about her. With her just admitting to Daryl that she had huge crush on Negan, Daryl found his heart tangled with what it should do. Taking a minute, Daryl’s eyes lifted toward the ladies’ restroom and he shook his head.

“We’re not dating,” Daryl was honest with Negan while shifting on the seat so he could look at Negan with his intense blue eyes. There was an excitement that flooded Negan’s face when Daryl said that and Daryl was damning himself for even attempting to be a good person in this situation. He wanted to be greedy. He wanted to be an asshole, but he knew that he really liked Y/N and her being happy was worth more than his own happiness. “In fact, I think if you were honest with her, she would be fucking thrilled.”

“Why is that?” Negan inquired with an arch of his thick eyebrow.

“Because she has the biggest crush on you,” Daryl told her secret, but he knew by telling Negan that would help her get something that made her happy in the end. The amusement that flooded Negan’s features made Daryl feel like the biggest loser on the planet. Instead of telling the woman he was in love with that he cared about her, he was telling the guy that she had a crush on that she liked him. Who the fuck did that? “I found that out tonight. So, there you go.”

“So, you’re okay with this?” Negan stammered with a bob of his head while speaking with a big, pearly white smile. When Daryl nodded he knew that Negan was pleased with his answer. Cussing to himself, Daryl hated him himself. So much. Why would he do that? A moment later he heard Negan let out an enthusiastic breath. “Well speak of the devil, look who it is! We were just talking about you.”

“Negan!” Daryl closed his eyes hearing the way that Y/N said Negan’s name. It was the sound of someone that was pleasantly surprised with their guest being there. “I hope it was only good things that you were talking about.”

“Is there any other way to talk about you?” Negan flirted and Daryl silently groaned to himself when Negan moved over to make room for Y/N back at the bar. Glancing beside him, Daryl could see that Negan was still rather close to her while they sat next to each other. “I was happy to see you walk in here. I thought you weren’t coming tonight.”

“Well, someone made me late to checking my tests,” she reminded Negan and Negan snorted upon hearing her say that. “If it wasn’t for that person, I may have been here sooner rather than later.”

“My fault,” Negan placed his hand over the center of his chest and their eyes were hooked on each other. “I was worried that maybe my danish made you feel sick.”

“Quite the opposite actually, I think it put me in a better mood today,” she complimented Negan and Daryl found himself irritated that he had now become the third wheel. Before Negan was there, she actually acknowledged his existence, but with Negan sitting beside her Daryl realized that he may as well had been invisible. “I was hoping you would be bringing me more tomorrow.”

“See, now you’re getting greedy,” Negan teased with a cock of his head and a big, goofy smile. Daryl watched Negan while he interacted with Y/N and Daryl wished he had half of the confidence along with charisma that Negan did. “I bring you something out of the kindness of my heart and now you’re going to start expecting it.”

“It’s a compliment really,” she smiled, caressing her fingers over the back of her neck in a nervous swipe while her and Negan went back and forth. “It says you did a really good job making it and I think you’re a fantastic baker slash cook.”

“Well thank you,” Negan chuckled while he looked her over with his hazel eyes. “If it means getting to see you smile if even for a few minutes every day, I will happily bring you anything that I make.”

“Since you’re so big on sharing you should let me try it someday,” Daryl finally spoke up when they both had seemed to forget that he was there. Negan’s smile slowly faded when his eyes pulled to Daryl’s. “I mean she was gushing about your cooking skills earlier today.”

“Absolutely Daryl, I’d loved for you to try my danish,” Negan replied with a smirk and in the moment Daryl realized how awkward the whole statement actually sounded. Y/N’s laughter filled the air and Negan looked to Y/N with an amused expression. “You’re a fucking perv missy.”

“I’m sorry, the way you just said that at him felt so suggestive,” she waved her hand in the air trying to get herself to stop laughing. Daryl was embarrassed, Negan was entertained. “You can’t tell me you didn’t say it like that to not be…suggestive as hell.”

“Daryl’s a decent looking fella, I wouldn’t be embarrassed to being suggestive with him,” Negan threw his hand up in the air and she laughed harder, her hand reaching out to place over Negan’s chest. God, she even wanted to touch Negan. When Daryl would make her laugh, she was nothing like this. “You think I’m joking? I’m not. I’m not embarrassed.”

“Well at least you’re bold and honest,” she claimed before finally looking to Daryl who seemed less than enthusiastic with everything that was going on. “Without being perverted, I think you would really like his actual danish. I was surprised it wasn’t store bought.”

“Hey now, it tastes better than the store stuff,” Negan grumbled under his breath and once again before Daryl could respond Negan had her full attention again. “You can’t compare my freshly baked goods to something you would buy at a supermarket that has been sitting there for days.”

“Oh, my mistake,” she giggled and Negan reached for her to give her a big hug in his arms after they had their playful little bickering match. God, Negan was so brave. It was something that Daryl would have never done, but she didn’t seem to hate it at all.

“Do y’all want to come over and play a game with us?” Negan pointed over toward the pool table and she looked to Daryl with big eyes. It was obvious she wanted to play, but Daryl was still at a point where he had no interest. Negan was already so much better than him at pretty much everything, he didn’t want Negan to outdo him in pool too. “We’d love to have you over there.”

“Go ahead, I’ll watch from here,” Daryl offered to her seeing that she seemed upset that Daryl didn’t want to come. “I’m kind of tired and I’m not much of a pool player. So I wouldn’t be that much fun anyways.”

“Well, why don’t you just come over there and talk with a few of the other teachers? You can be near the table while I absolutely destroy Y/N,” Negan urged Daryl to still join them and almost immediately Daryl shook his head. He didn’t want to be included in something where he would have to be up close watching the girl that he was head over heels for swooning over Negan.

“Daryl, come on,” she reached for his hands and Daryl shook his head once more. “You might actually have some fun.”

“I’m tired Y/N, you go ahead and have fun,” Daryl kept up with his answer knowing that she was disappointed, but he didn’t care. There was no changing his answer. Part of Daryl wished she would have just stayed, but when she got up from the seat, he knew that spending time with Negan was going to win out over spending time with him. “Just enjoy yourself.”

“Well you should come over there when you want,” she reached out to squeeze his shoulder before walking toward the pool table with Negan.

When they reached the other side of the bar Daryl could see the other teachers eager to talk and laugh with Y/N. For a while they just all stood around talking and Daryl knew that he was staring, but he didn’t care. Biting down on his bottom lip when Negan’s arm wrapped around Y/N’s shoulders, he let out an upset breath and knew he should have just left.

After a while of talking, Negan tugged Y/N toward the pool table and they started playing together. Daryl was full of jealousy watching their interaction. It was obvious the two of them had a fuck ton of chemistry together. She was having a lot of fun and it was so easy for Negan to make her laugh.

Even knowing that Negan was her type made it so much more obvious to Daryl that he would never be her type. Negan was the opposite of him and he knew that. Which hurt all the more. It was best for him to just leave at his point, he wouldn’t have even been missed if he left now.

Finishing up his last drink, Daryl went to leave until he watched Y/N throw her arms up in celebration when she clearly beat Negan. Watching closely, Daryl saw the look of disappointment over Negan’s features as he moved around the pool table toward her. How close Negan got to Y/N made Daryl’s heart start to hammer inside of his chest.

Daryl’s mind was telling him to go over there and stop the interaction, but his body was frozen while Negan’s eyes were hooked on hers. Negan’s fingers stroked over the side of her face, brushing her hair behind her ear while they talked. Negan whispered something and she nodded before Negan lowered down. Tensing up, Daryl watched Negan’s lips descend over hers after he cupped her face in his hands in a tender stroke and this shit hurt more than Daryl would have thought it would.

When they parted, Negan’s head pressed up against hers and Daryl could see that it took her breath away. Negan whispered something to her while his right hand lifted with his thumb tracing over her cheek. With a smile like that, Daryl knew that Negan was sweeping her off her feet.

Daryl stepped forward when Negan grabbed a hold of her hand and led her toward the back of the bar. The rest of the group was distracted with their own discussions so the two of them were able to sneak out. Following the direction they headed, Daryl went to the backdoor and pushed it slightly open to see that they were at the back of the building.

“You are so fucking beautiful,” Negan slurred, while he had her back pressed up against the brick wall. His large hands were cupping her face as they kissed over and over again. Daryl watched the two of them through the small crack in the door that he had opened. It was enough not to draw attention to him while the two made out behind the bar. “I’ve wanted to kiss you for so long.”

“Negan,” she breathed out while his kisses pressed down over the side of her face and down toward her neck. Grabbing a firm hold of his thick hair, she tugged at it and made Negan stare out at her with desperation while he panted. Daryl wished that she would turn him down. “Do you…do you want to go to my place?”

“Right now?” Negan breathed against her lips and she nodded slowly. The smile that Negan gave her made an angry chill run down Daryl’s spine. “I’d love to.”

Y/N reached for Negan’s hand and led him away from the bar making Daryl want to chase after them, but he knew better. She made her choice and she wanted Negan. Badly, obviously.

Slamming the door shut behind him, Daryl went back to the bar and took his seat again where he was previously. Ordering something a little stronger, he wanted to drink away his pain knowing that he was super hurt to see how eager Y/N was to take Negan home with her.

“Where did the big man go?” a voice made Daryl grunt when Simon slid in beside him and Daryl muttered a slew of silent, angry words to himself. Suddenly so many people he had no interest in speaking to were coming up to him to talk. It irritated Daryl to say the least. When Daryl immediately took back the drink he ordered, Simon let out a long drawn out laugh. “It’s only Thursday Dixon, you might want to hold back. There is one more day of work.”

“I don’t care,” Daryl grumbled with a scowl, his blue eyes glaring at Simon. “I assume you’re talking about Negan and you’re too late. He just left with Y/N.”

“Like, they left together?” Simon was eager to get details and Daryl nodded, waving on to get another drink brought to him. “Son of a bitch! I didn’t think she would give it up that fucking fast. I got more of an innocent vibe from her.”

“What are you trying to say?” Daryl’s face scrunched up and Simon ordered a drink for himself.

“I’m saying Negan is going to win the fucking bet, that’s what I’m saying,” Simon sneered when he got the beer that he ordered. “Goddamn it.”

“What bet?” Daryl immediately questioned seeing Simon dramatically throw his head around. There was a pressure in Daryl’s head and it felt like the world stopped all together when he heard Simon say that. “What bet?”

“I made a bet with Negan that he wouldn’t be able to sleep with the new girl,” Simon informed Daryl with a long, drawn out sigh. “And evidently, I’m fucking losing which fucking sucks.”

“You guys made a bet about Negan sleeping with Y/N?” Daryl snapped, standing up from the stool that he was seated at. “What the fuck? That’s an actual person you are talking about? Someone who likes Negan…”

“Every girl likes Negan,” Simon snorted, his face scrunched up in amusement when Daryl seemed so upset. “Like I’m supposed to be surprised by that. I just thought she was your girl so it was the one time I thought I would win the bet.”

“Negan told me that he was crushing on her,” Daryl repeated what Negan had said and Simon laughed with an entertained expression when he reached for his beer again. “What?”

“You think Negan would crush on her? After losing his wife, that guy would pretty much sleep with anyone to forget the pain of losing her,” Simon cleared his throat noticing how uncomfortable that Daryl was with all of this. “There is no way that he has something for this girl other than the bet. He’s out to win it and undoubtedly, he is going to nail it. I guess I should say be saying he’s going to be nailing her.”

“Fucking asshole,” Daryl knocked into Simon as he headed for the door to leave. He didn’t know what to do with this information, but he had to stop it. Someway. He couldn’t just let Y/N get hurt like this. Why did he have to be so stupid? He should have never told Negan that it would be okay. He should have tried harder to keep them apart. This was just as much his fault for pushing the two of them together and Daryl hated himself for that.

----

Tags: @slutlanna976​​  @nubbinrobin​​ @oreostars​​  @fuckthis-and-fuckthat​​ @jennydehavilland​​ @felicity291​​ @de-gabyconamor​​ @ibelongtonegan​​ @smallsadjellyfish​ @labyrinthofheartagrams​​  @msjamesmarch​​ @thebeautysurrounds​​ @hotfornegan​​ @redmercysugar​​ @caprithebunny​​ @iluvneganandjamie​​ @ninamarietwd @tuttifuckinfruitty​​ @emoryhemsworth​​ @a-girl-interupted​​​ @akumune​​ @stoneyggirl2​​ @xsarcasticwriterx​​ @ritajammer21​​ @insertneganhere​​ @haleygreen23​

[scuttling]

Beast

Fandom: Criminal Minds Pairing: Aaron Hotchner/Latina Original Female Character Word Count: 3,056 Tags: 18+, NSFW, Sub Aaron Hotchner, Inspection, Office sex, Semi-public sex, Oral sex, Tie as restraint, Multiple orgasms, Unprotected sex, Hickies, Subspace, Aftercare Summary: Aaron is having a no good, very bad week, and everyone in the BAU is paying the price. Note: This is a reformatted, previously published work. :) Part of my Aaron/OC Sophie series but can be read alone.

Link to A03 or read more below!

Aaron is having a no good, very bad week, and everyone in the BAU is paying the price.

“He’s being a tyrant,” Morgan gripes as he and Sophie are in the break room after the morning meeting. “Barking orders, looking at me with those narrowed eyes like I'm a goddamn criminal for taking a piss break.”

“I know, I’m sorry,” Sophie says, steeping her tea. “He’s just having a really hard time this week. Expense reports and evaluations and budget reviews are all due at once, and we’ve been so busy travelling for cases that he hasn’t had time to start on any of it. He’s just stressed; he doesn’t mean anything by it.” JJ and Emily walk in looking aggravated, and Sophie is willing to bet they just had a run in with Aaron as well.

“Can’t you just fuck it out of him? Isn’t that what you guys do? Heal each other’s wounds lovingly with lots of kinky sex?” Sophie rolls her eyes at Emily.

“Yeah, sure, that’s how it works. And I have totally been fucking him, for the record, but it’s fast-acting, not long-lasting. Don’t know what to tell you.”

“Well that sucks,” JJ mumbles, and Sophie frowns.

“Trust me, no one is more sorry than I am that I can’t ride his dick 24/7.” She sighs, because he has been truly miserable, and she’s not sure what else she can do to help. She’s tried sexy things, sweet things, comforting things, helpful things, letting him just be crabby for a day… nothing. She’s usually the only one who can tame the beast he becomes when he’s the toxic combo of stressed, anxious, and irritated, but she’s out of ideas, and everyone is out of patience.

Even submitting deeply to him, which is usually her last resort, because it’s time consuming, only made him feel better until work the next—huh.

Okay, maybe she does have one trick left up her sleeve. It’s not quite time for lunch yet, but Sophie walks into Aaron’s office, shuts and locks the door behind her; she presses her back against it, and when he looks up from his form to give her his full attention, she steps forward.

“Open your pants.” He swallows, carefully sets down the pen he’s holding.

“What, baby?”

“I said open your pants, Aaron. Now. Time for a cock inspection.” He closes his eyes, exhales, and stands, opens his belt, pulls down his zipper. She walks closer, hands clasped behind her back like she’s going to administer an SAT and not play with his dick until he’s uncomfortably hard and begging to come. “Lean up against your desk for me.”

He does as instructed, cock bobbing free, his palms pressed to the top of the desk for support, and she pushes his chair back, stands in front of him, moves her hands to her hips.

“Okay, baby, you know what I’m looking for. I want to see your big, hard cock—I know I surprised you, so I’ll give you some time.” She leans in, wraps a couple of fingers around the base to hold him steady, rubs the tip of another finger gently over the slit. He’s not fully hard yet, but getting there quickly; submitting to her is something that never fails to get him going, even if it doesn’t happen very often. “If you dribble out a little precome for me, I’ll reward you,” she reminds him, looking up, and his chest is heaving, his eyes dark.

She’s still turned on by how broad his shoulders are, how his big hands splay out on the desk, fingers spread; that doesn’t change just because he’s submissive. Sometimes it can be hard to remember he’s not being daddy, because she always thinks of him as daddy, but this is special, and she knows he needs her to be in charge today, so she focuses, for him.

“When it’s time, I’ll want your come in my mouth, and I’ll want a lot of it. If you don’t come enough for me, if you don’t fill my mouth, baby, you’ll be disciplined. Understand?” He nods.

“I understand.” She smiles, just a bit.

“Good boy. I know you’ll be perfect for me, because you always want to please me. You give me everything I want.” She runs a hand over his chest, gropes a little. “I won’t make you undress for this, since we’re at work, but tonight I want you stripped down and waiting for me on the bed when we get home. I want to taste you everywhere.” She leans up to lick the underside of his chin, and he blows out a trembling breath. “Understand?”

“I understand,” he rasps, and she pulls back, gets down on her knees so she’s at eye-level with his dick.

“Good boy,” she says right to it, and Aaron flexes his hands, moans softly. It’s very hard now, thick and veiny and hot, standing up without her help, and she curls her tongue around his balls, squeezes them with her fingers. “Mmm. Your balls are full, Aaron. I bet you’ll have some come left for me even after I swallow for you. I wonder if I could keep you hard enough to put it in my pussy; it might be a little uncomfortable, but you’d let me try, right?”

“My body is yours to use however you want, baby,” he murmurs, and she looks up, scrapes her nails over his lower belly. He licks his lips.

“Yes it is. We’ll see.” She looks back down, runs her fingers up the shaft slowly, rubs a little in a way that will provide just enough friction to make him desperate for more and provide no relief. “You got long and stiff for me quickly today, sweet boy. Very good work.” She swipes her tongue up his length, and he bucks his hips once before stilling again. She squeezes his thigh. “You get a warning for that, Aaron, but just one. Keep still for me; you know the rule.”

“I’m sorry. I know the rule,” he pants, and she licks him again, three times in succession; his hips remain still.

“That’s better. Are you drippy for me?” she asks rhetorically, and she pulls down on his dick to get a better look at the slit. There is a pool of precome, surely enough, that spills down the head at her touch, and she puts her mouth on him far enough to catch the drop, sucks softly as she pulls off. “Mmm. Tastes good, delicious boy. Maybe when you come I’ll keep my mouth open, so you can see how much you’re giving me. I hope it will be enough, because I’d hate to have to discipline you.”

“I hope so too,” he says, his voice tense with arousal. She brings her fingers to the head, presses against it so it’s laying against his stomach, and rubs a little, again more of a tease than anything. That doesn’t stop Aaron’s breath from hitching, his knuckles from turning white against the edge of the desk. “Oh, fuck.”

“Mm hmm. Feels good, doesn’t it? Everything I do feels good when I touch you so little; you’re desperate for it, my perfect boy. Perfect, horny, desperate boy.”

“Everything you do feels good always, baby. I’m so fucking desperate for you,” he pants. She stands smoothly, takes his chin in her hand, and pulls him down for a deep, wet kiss they both moan into.

“Time for your reward,” she breathes when the kiss breaks. “Then more inspection. You are not allowed to come. If you waste your orgasm, you won’t get another until Sunday. Do you understand?” It’s only Thursday, so this would be pure torture and they both know it. Aaron nods, wets his lips.

“I understand.”

“Good boy,” she says, and she puts her hands on his body, moves him toward the chair, gestures for him to sit in it. He does, and she steps between his knees, wraps a hand around his tie, pulls it so he’ll look up at her. “I love you, sweetheart. You’re doing so good for me. I know you’re going to like this reward, but you know what to say if you want to stop, right?” He nods tightly.

“I know what to say. Thank you. I love you.”

She hums, kisses him again, then unknots the tie, pulls it off slowly. His hands are resting on the arms of the chair, and she takes the tie and wraps it around one several times, knots it tightly. Aaron groans, tips his head back, and he looks so fucking sexy she could combust.

“Where’s your spare?” she asks, ignoring his sounds, ignoring her throbbing pussy, and he points to the third drawer on the left hand side. She opens it, finds the other tie, restrains his free arm just like the other; she is soaking wet when she admires her handiwork, and she’s very glad it’s reward time. Leaning against the desk like he did, she shimmies her skirt up, hops onto it, stretches back, supported by her hands. “Eat me until I come, Aaron. Don’t be afraid to get messy.”

He whimpers, and he’s still a little too far away for that, so she pulls his chair closer with her feet and hitches her knees up, giving him an unobstructed view of her bare, wet pussy. She praises herself for slipping away to the bathroom to take off her panties before coming up here.

“Jesus,” he groans, and he leans in, dips his tongue inside her immediately, collecting her slick, and her hips stutter, taking him deeper. “Mmh.” She runs her fingers through his hair, scrapes at his scalp, makes him moan again.

“Good boy. That feels so good. Fuck me with your tongue, baby, I want to feel it.” She’s sure it’s not that easy, without his hands to help, but he does shove it repeatedly inside of her, and she rocks against his face, keeping his rhythm. “Yes, sweet boy, just like that. So perfect, Aaron.”

He keeps it up for a couple of minutes, then pulls back, takes a deep breath and dives back in, licking up her slit to change things up, sucking on her lips. She rolls her body, both hands on his head, and squeezes her thighs together briefly; it feels really good, but also gets Aaron moaning like nothing else, and she has to shush him so no one hears.

“It’s okay, baby. I know you like that, but we have to keep quiet, sweetheart. If you want to come, you need to keep quiet.” She tugs him by his hair so he’ll lift off of her pussy; his mouth is shiny and wet, lips red, eyes wide and deep and dark, and she has half a mind to just say fuck it and let him dick her down on the desk, let the whole office hear, but she takes a deep breath, composes herself like a good little domme. “Are you alright to finish me, or was that enough?” she asks, and he nods, frantic.

“I want to finish, please. I want to eat your come, please,” he tells her, and she bites down hard on her bottom lip and brings his head back between her legs. That’s an offer she can’t refuse.

“Oh, fuck, yes, sweet boy,” she praises softly as he doubles down on his efforts to get her off. She wraps her fingers in the fabric of his shirt, pulls him closer, hooks her legs over his shoulders and tries her best to keep quiet as he brings her—sloppily but oh so wonderfully—to a leg-shaking, heart-pounding, breathless climax.

The first thing she wants to do after is slide off the desk into a puddle on the floor, but Aaron will need praise and affection from her, she remembers. She leans up, still a little shaky, and rubs her hands over his back as he laps at her come and slick as promised. Whoo boy. Naturally, Aaron finds a way to make his special sub time revolve around her pleasure and his prowess, however unintentionally.

“That’s enough, my good boy. You did amazing, baby, let me see your handsome face.” He looks up at her, rests his head on her thigh, thoroughly exhausted in a way you can only be after serving someone with everything you have. Real subspace is rare for him, but he’s there, and she’s glad. She knows he needed it desperately. “So perfect, sweetheart. My incredible, gorgeous husband. I love you so much.”

She reaches behind her, grabs some tissues Aaron keeps handy for tears and/or sex fluids, and cleans off his face, curls to take it in her hands so she can kiss him soft and sweet and loving.

“Did you come, baby?” she asks gently, and he shakes his head no. She caresses him, hugs him, kisses his face. “Oh, so smart and obedient. Amazing boy. Are you ready to finish inspection?”

“Yes, please,” he says softly, and she kisses his lips, pushes his chair back a little, and gets on her knees in front of him.

His cock is covered in precome now, but thankfully none got on his pants; she cleans him up slowly with her tongue, and he whimpers, his body practically trembling with need.

“Please. Please, Sophie,” he says, breathing hard. She takes one soft lick of his head and brushes her fingers through his hair.

“Shh. I’ve got you, baby. Your cock is perfect today, just like always—big and hard and pretty, wet and hot and delicious. Time to come for me, lots and lots, sweetheart, okay?” She runs her hands over his body, and he nods, leans down for a kiss.

She puts her mouth around him, strokes him, sucks him wet and tight, and, unsurprisingly, he finds his orgasm quickly, grips the arms of the chair tightly, gasps in pleasure. She slowly opens her mouth while stroking him, so he can watch himself spurt onto her tongue, and he’s blinking slowly, sighing deeply when he’s finished.

Only, he’s not finished, as she recalls. She climbs into his lap, pets his head, runs her hands over his bound arms, and kisses his lips.

“Can I fuck you, sweet boy? One more orgasm for both of us; I know you can do it.” He groans but nods his head, and she lines him up at her entrance, sinks down to take him in easily. They both moan louder than they should, and she rides him fast and hard, tugging his hair, biting his throat. “Yes, baby, perfect, baby. You came so good for me before, so much, perfect. You can come for me again, just a little. Just a little, sweetheart.”

“Oh, fuck. Sophie, fuck,” he groans, and she works the collar of his shirt open, bares the fleshy part of his shoulder, and bites and sucks a hickey there while she moves in his lap, fingers still tight against his scalp. “Yes, please, harder.” She’s not sure if he wants her mouth, hand, or hips to go harder, so she goes for all three, and he grunts and comes inside her again, just barely, but the way his body shakes tells her it was good regardless.

“Perfect, sweet, good boy, that’s just what I wanted. You came for me again, baby. God, you’re so good.” She focuses all her attention on his face, his mouth, kissing him and whispering into his ear, and then she comes too and they spend a moment just looking at each other, panting against each other’s lips.

When she feels like she might be able to climb out of his lap without tipping over, she does, gets to work untying his arms right away. He flexes his wrists, stands carefully, and puts both hands on her face, kisses her with such passion she almost falls, too. When he pulls back, he wets his lips, exhales deeply.

“My god, baby.” The corner of her mouth twitches up in a smile, and he smiles too, even though she’s fucking destroyed him; she thinks it was kind of what he needed, to crumble like ash so he can rise from it a little healthier, a little happier. She grabs more tissues and cleans off his cock, helps him get himself back together. She already misses the bruise she put on him, wishes she could leave his collar open for the world to see, but she’ll get to play with it tonight, so things could be worse.

“You were being a real beast today, sweetheart. It was the only thing I hadn’t tried, and the villagers were about to come burn down your castle, so… Figured it couldn’t hurt.” She leans up to kiss him, then cleans up her own situation, lets him fluff her hair and straighten her clothes because he likes doing that for her. “So here’s some water for the love of my life,” she says, handing him his bottle, “and I can run down to grab our lunches in a minute. Would you like to cuddle on the sofa first?”

They do, and he puts her legs in his lap and just clings to her, presses his face against her throat, breathes against her pulse. She sits with her arms wrapped around his shoulders, slips her fingers through his hair, and when there’s only a little time left in their lunch hour he tells her he’ll come down with her to grab their food, to refill his water bottle.

The atmosphere in the bullpen is a little tense when they pass through, but on their way back up to his office, she makes a joke about her being the beauty and him being the beast, and how that makes the others teacups and wardrobes and candlesticks (JJ is the teacup, Derek is the wardrobe, Spencer is the candlestick, that’s just how it is) and they both laugh, and sigh, and smile. She’s missed this while he’s been unhappy, hopes to god it lasts. Friday morning, Aaron is in a great mood, and they have sleepy, happy morning sex, and then they pick up donuts and good coffee for everyone, and Sophie gets several pats on the back from the members of her team.

[p---ink]

Teach Me.

Author’s Note: So. I finally made a Peter Parker Fiction. And I know the gif is Arvin Russell, but that is for a reason, and maybe you'll see it, maybe you won't, BUT TELL ME IF YOU DO. So this is an unnamed OC fiction, but its mostly reader insert, aside from the fact that she’s black (surprise, surprise) and she has brown eyes. I made her an “OC” because of that fact. Also, get ready for some fluffy head cannons of Peter P. In the not-so-distant future though. 

Summary: Maybe Peter Parker, isn't as innocent as he seems. 

Warnings: Smut. Smut. and more Smut. Car-smut. Dark-ish Peter (Not really, but he’s not his usual wholesome self) 

Song: Star-gazing by The Neighborhood. I literally based this entire fiction on this one song. Even if you don’t read the fic, you should listen to it. 

Word Count: 5.5k

“If you don’t mind me asking,” She started, pausing a bit to give him time to look up at her, “ who brings a textbook to a frat party?”

His heart stopped for a moment when he realized who was speaking to him. But then he matched her grin shyly and replied, “It’s more of a conversation starter than anything.” 

“Would you say its been working well?”

“I did somehow manage to get someone as pretty as you to speak to me.” 

The smile that was already plastered on her face, grew wider along with her eyes and brows. “Wow Parker: Who knew you could be so bold after a few drinks?

“I’ve only had one, so the rest is all me.” He closed his book and readjusted his leg inviting her to sit. Then as if just realizing, he asked, “You know who I am?”

“Of course I know who you are. We went to Midtown together.” She said, getting comfortable on the couch. 

“Yeah I know. But we barely spoke to each other. Sometimes I wondered if you even knew I existed.”

“I always kept tabs on cuties like you. Especially you, actually.” She declared. 

“And you call me bold.” He muttered under his breath, a small blush creeping up.

“I’m always like this. Anyone who knows me, can tell you that. But anyone who knows you, would say the opposite. You were always so good.” 

“Good?”

“Yes! Good. Innocent. Nice. Whatever floats your boat.”

“And I remember you being, bossy, assertive, and intimidating.”

She threw her head back in laughter before stating,“You say that like its a bad thing.” Coming down from her fits of giggles she adds, “You noticed me, too? Never thought I was on your radar.”

“How could anyone not notice you.” He asked. “We had English together our freshman year. First day of class, you challenged Mr. Frechowsky, for inflicting his political views on the rest of the class. He got so red in the face, after yelling at you for three minutes straight, but everyone was more shocked at you for being unfazed.”

“I forgot abou-”

“Sophomore year, you “accidentally” tripped Amy Shuemacker,  after she made a rude comment about Ned’s weight. Junior year, you announced that you wanted to be not only the first female president, but the first who was black too. I remember telling myself you’d have my vote. Senior year, you almost had a mental breakdown when it looked like Michelle Obama was gonna run.” Peter finished, with not a hint that he was out of breath. 

“I-” She was more than taken aback. “I’m embarrassed that you remember all of that. Its been like four years since we graduated. Frankly any other person would have forgotten.”

“I think its impossible for anyone who’s met you, to forget the day they did.” He admitted to her. 

She just stared at him in awe for a moment. Mouth slightly agape from surprise. A shadow of a smile ever so present. 

Even though he was the one to say it, it was his face that turned a tinge pinker than before when he realized the weight behind his words. He swallowed thickly, averting his attention to the patterns that lined the carpet, fearing that he made her uncomfortable. In all honesty, he used to have a proper crush on the girl, rivaled by even Romeo’s adoration for Juliet.

This was the same girl he once described as ethereal. He once told Ned that fairies wove the strands of her hair, and butterflies still lived there, claiming that he saw them playing beneath her braids. The sun literally lived under her skin, and it was the secret as to why it would glow, and why her smile was so bright. He would swear to anyone that listened, that the harp was made with her voice in mind, and that it, her voice, played a better melody. He used to be lovestruck. Guess those feelings still lingered. 

If you asked him, two minutes ago had he gotten over it, his answer would’ve been yes. Would’ve been. 

His sudden fluster—which she found adorable by the way, broke her from her trance as she grinned and said “Don’t act bashful now!” playfully shoving his arm as she uttered the words. 

Quickly recovering from his earlier hiccup, he slowly returned her grin and tried to retaliate but before he could, “We have to go. Now.”

They looked up to see an irritated looking preppy girl impatiently scowling down at them. She couldn’t have been much older than 21, but no one told that to her clothes and aura. Her olive skin couldn’t hide the frown lines that had been assigned to her, nor the bags that would put a raccoon to shame. Besides the current circumstances that she would tell them in the next minute, Peter could tell on his own that the girl needed a date with sleep. 

“What’s the matter Li? Is everything okay?”

“Yes, aside from the fact that Angie locked herself out of the apartment again.” She said sarcastically, muttering this last part under her breath “I swear I’ve had it with that girl.”

“Ah I see. Well then we better get going.” The girl affirmed, standing from her seat, making Peter rise from his. “Peter it was so nice seeing you. I hate to leave, I would’ve enjoyed catching up a bit more.” She said, turning to grab her coat. 

“Well then we should catch up soon.”

She turned to nod her head, seemingly interested in his suggestion. “I’d love that. When did you have in mind?”

“How about now? if its a ride you’re looking for, I can drive you home.” Peter’s inner sixteen year old self, screamed at this opportunity. Time alone, with his four-year crush? He couldn’t not take advantage of the moment. 

“I couldn’t ask you to do that. It’s all the way on the other side of town.” She informed him. 

“But you’re not asking me to do it. I’m offering, because, ‘ya know; I haven’t seen you in a while and I’d like to catch up, too.” He said, second-guessing himself and praying that he didn’t come on too strong. “Ya know. Only if you want to.” He added just in case. 

Taking too much time debating whether or not she should say yes, the girl’s friend did it for her.  “Sounds great! I’ll see you at home.” Spinning on her heels,  and walking out of the door.

“Well.” The girl started, smiling at her old schoolmate. “I guess that settles it.”

“Shit!” He cursed, killing the engine completely, and slamming his head back on the headrest. After a couple minutes of trying to get it to start, the boy gave up like his car did.

It had been a full three hours since  Alisha left the party. The time was spent competing about who could find out more about the other. He learned that she still had a thirst for changing the world and community around her. She learned that the boy had been bitten by a radioactive spider and was now New York’s most friendly vigilante. She never knew that Peter could be so hilarious. 

They were stranded on some back road, miles away from civilization, with rain coming down on the roof of the car like they owed it money.

“Peter, what did you expect?” She began to question, giggling as she spoke. “This car is so old, Fred Flintstone has a newer model.”

“Hey!” He cried, “Don’t badmouth Karen. She just needs a little work.”

“You mean a lot of work. Karen is ancient.”

“She’s been good to me.”

“Should I call Triple A?” She asked, ignoring his dramatics. “The rain will probably let up by the time they get here.”

“I’ve got this.” He sighed, readying himself to leave the car. “Besides, triple A doesn’t know Karen like I do. They won’t be able to give her the love and patience she deserves” He explained, the car’s rickety door sounding as he disappeared into the rain. 

She heard that same distinct sound not ten seconds later, as he reappeared, soaking wet from the rain’s onslaught. His white t-shirt clung to his body, while beads of water raced down his skin. His messy locks, traded their dark brown hue for a jet black one, and his dirty converses shone a little brighter than they did before he left the car. 

“Maybe that wasn’t the best idea.” He admitted, the leather making a squelching noise as he glued himself back to his previous seat. 

“The offer for triple A still stands.”

“No. I’ll let this play out. But maybe I can call you an Uber.”

“There’s no way I’m leaving you out here all alone. We’ll let this play out.”

“But this may take a while.”

“I’m the reason you’re out here in the first place. And I like your company, so i’ll stay.”

Peter knew he couldn’t argue with that one, so he let silence befall the two of them. It stayed like that for a moment. It wasn’t quite awkward, but it was definitely palpable. 

She thought to say something, he did the same, but neither could quite let their words come to life. It was unlike the girl he knew before, who said the first thing that came to mind. Unlike himself, who did the same, but in a less graceful way. 

Finally, after what felt like hours of deafening quiet, Peter begins with, “How long have you and Brad been a thing?” The question fresh on his mind, since her phone rang yet again, with his ugly mug lighting up the screen. It was the fourth time she ignored the notification. 

It was rare for Peter to hate a person. In fact he didn’t hate many at all. But there was something about Brad that always made his stomach clench. Didn’t help that he was sniffing around his girl. 

“Hmm.” She pondered, tapping her chin with her index finger. Acting as if she was carefully thinking about it.“For about for-never and a day” She finally answered.

“Oh I thought, that since—“ Peter stammered, growing embarrassed by his assumption, and the disdain that coated his words.

“Anyone would have, with him blowing my phone up.” She sighed. “But alas, nothing will ever come of us. No matter how much he wants it to. Wish he’d take a hint.”

Back to silence. But this time it didn’t consume Peter. It gave him a bit of hope, enough hope to ask her his next question. 

“Back at the party,” he started before pausing, which prompted her to question, yes, before he could properly collect his nerve to ask her what he wanted. 

“Back at the party, you mentioned you always kept tabs on me. Especially me. What did you mean by that?”

“I may have had a small crush on you.” She answered without missing a beat. This of course took him by surprise, but not for long. 

“Why did you never act on it?”

“Because I quickly realized you weren’t my type.” She said as if it was nothing in the world.

“Ouch. What did I do to make you realize that?” Peter asked. Though his tone was light-hearted, he tried not to let on that he was hurt. 

“Nothing.” She replied. “You were just yourself. Peter Parker, the innocent good boy who would never harm a fly.”

Peter thought to himself for a moment. He thought long and hard before he decided to bring up the word she had uttered more than once tonight. “There goes that word again: innocent. What makes you think I’m innocent?”

“Come on Parker. Ned told me you once donated a one hundred dollar bill you found lying on the sidewalk to the local homeless shelter. And that was after you couldn’t find its original owner. That’s got innocence written all over it.”

“Does that make me innocent or a good person?”

“They’re one and the same.”

“There is a big difference between the two.”

“I disagree. The two are definitely interchangeable. Good people are the ones who haven’t been corrupted yet.”

“So does that mean you aren’t a good person?”

“I think I’m a neutral person. Not exactly good, not exactly bad. Just walking the tightrope. I probably would have taken the money, and felt bad about it later.”

They both chuckled at her statement, letting it end that segment of the conversation. Though Peter was done fighting with her about her type’s moral compass, he wasn’t done with the subject all together.

“So,” He paused, and she braced herself, taking notice of how every time he did that, a question she was reluctant to answer followed. “what exactly is your type?”

An uncomfortable breathy laugh passed through her lips as she answered. “I didn’t exactly know it at the time, but I’m able to put it into words now.” She admitted, taking her time as she explained. 

“I guess ideally you were my type. Nice. Harmless. Smart. But I was also looking for someone who knew how to take control. I’m in control of everything in my life, so it feels good to meet a person who lets me relinquish that. Or in more crude terms, a person who has the ability to fuck my brains out.” She declared as she leered in his direction with a small smirk playing her lips. 

She was only teasing. But she could feel that the air had grown thick on the side of the car that Peter had resided in. For a split second, she could have sworn that she saw something snap in him. But as quickly as it appeared, it vanished, making her feel as though she had imagined the entire thing. 

But she knew that couldn’t have been right. Known for many things, her vivid imagination wasn’t one of them. His breath hitched. His shoulders tensed. She hadn’t imagined that. What he said next, after what felt like an hour of silence told her that she didn’t imagine anything at all. 

“Did teaching me, ever cross your mind?” He asked. His grip on the steering wheel, turning his knuckles white. She saw his Adam’s apple bob after he spoke, and his chestnut eyes focused on the rain that splattered against the windshield. 

“U-um I-,” She stammered, Peter catching her by surprise. She had to really think about his question. “I suppose it never did.”

“You still want me?” He asked her, turning his attention back on her. 

“Huh?”

“Am I still your type? Aside from the fact that I can’t take control?” 

She just swallows, before nodding.

Noting her surprise, but not relenting he says, “Then teach me.”

“What?” She questions, fearing she misheard him. 

“Teach me.” He repeated, only elaborating when she scrutinized his face. “Show me exactly how you want to be touched. Kissed. Fucked.”

The way he said the word, fuck, was so filthy. It almost made her lose the rest of her composure. Not like she had much left. He had already rendered her speechless, now he was ruining her panties.

No. She wouldn’t let it play out like this. She had a reputation to uphold.

She peered over her shoulder, then back to him trying to assess whether or not he was serious. When his face showed no sign of amusement, she swung her door open, to trade her passenger’s seat for the back one. 

The rain’s onslaught was still vicious, so her previously dry form was borderline drenched. July’s summer heat, did no favors in keeping her warm, and she had no idea if she was shivering from the rain or her nerves. “Are you gonna come keep me warm or what?” She challenged, trying to find her confidence again.  

It was only seconds before Peter joined her, but it was no question that his body was shaking with anticipation. He looked at her expectantly, surveying her every move. From the way her eyes flitted to the ground, to the way her hands busied themselves by rubbing at her thighs. She was nervous. 

It must have been a snowy day in hell.

“What should we do first?” She asked. 

“Does the instructor usually ask the pupil what lessons they should start with?”

“Kiss me?” She suggested, half-ignoring his comment. 

“Are you asking me, or telling me?” Peter remarked, amusement glinting in his eyes. 

Annoyance overtaking her tone now, she demands this time, “Kiss me.” 

“Say please.” He teased. 

“Damn it Peter, fucking kiss m—”

And then he glued his lips to hers. They were sweet and gentle, like him, but still managed to convey his longing. He hoped the kiss would capture all the times he imagined doing it when she would flash those pretty brown eyes his way. When she would speak in a way that put an angel’s timbre to shame. Even when she would fucking breathe, he imagined kissing her until his lips fell off. He hoped the kiss would make up for all of the ones he was dying to share with her over the years.

The pads of his fingers roamed over her silky smooth skin, starting at her cheeks, ending at her neckline. He tasted the flavor of her strawberry chapstick, the same one that made her lips feel and look as smooth as butter. When he inhaled and tasted the faint scent of minty watermelon on her breath, he decided he couldn’t get enough. He wanted to kiss her until he committed to memory every bump on her tongue. Then he would be satisfied. 

“Like this?” He whispered, pulling back to inhale the same air as her, almost turning feral at the sight of her swollen lips and blown pupils. “Or,” he started, leaning back in to go again, searching her eyes, “like this?”

Whereas kiss one was innocent and sweet, the way that Peter portrays himself, kiss two was the definition of what he could be…or maybe what he already was, she couldn’t tell. He was filthy with the way his tongue glided against hers. The hot wet muscle played hers like an instrument, before locking the two together. One of his hands planted itself on the nape of her neck, forcing her to feel every measure against her mouth. She couldn’t move if she wanted to, not that she wanted to. Just like him she wanted to relish the taste of him. 

With his nose pressed against her cheek, and hers against his, they kissed like they wanted to touch the other’s souls. They began breathing in the rest of the other’s air, like they wanted to swap lungs. Exploring the other’s bodies, like they would die if they didn’t study the exact texture of the other’s skin. 

It took everything in Peter to restrain himself. To keep his thumbs from traveling beneath her shirt. He nipped at his tongue to keep from nipping at her lips and skin. He tried shifting in his seat to distract himself from the shifting going on in his jeans. 

It certainly didn’t help the growing tent in his pants when the girl planted her thighs on either side of his, rocking and rolling her hips to alleviate some of the tension in her panties. 

She took over the kiss, setting the pace and overcoming the surprise from Peter earlier.

Her fingers, that were previously glued to his face, began fumbling with the hem of his shirt, peeling the wet material off and over his head. She marveled at his sculpted chest for a moment, before Peter followed suit, pulling her dampened top over her arms and flinging it over the seat. 

A throaty groan passed his lips when she resumed her measures against his hips. Grinding herself down on his hardening member. 

Her breathy whimpers intensified when his surprisingly warm hands traveled along her skin, caressing her soft flesh. She was getting more worked up the more Peter mimicked the movement of her hips, grinding upwards while simultaneously pinning her waist down. 

She tugged harshly on the patch of hair that lived on the back of his neck, eliciting one of the sexiest groans she had ever heard. His heavily lidded eyes that held the same fire as hers, both scared and excited her. 

As she leaned in closely, preparing her words carefully she ordered him to, “Kiss me here,” before planting her lips on his neck. Flattening her tongue to lick a stripe up the exposed skin, she began swirling the appendage before nipping, licking, and sucking until his skin had a reddish purple hue. 

She got lost in the feel of him, succumbing to the sound of his hisses and moans only to yelp a moment later, when Peter mimicked her earlier actions.

With a fistful of her hair, and her exposed neck jutting out towards his lips he licked a stripe against the skin, just as she did earlier, only his measures were steady and calculated, taking note of every flinch and hitch of her breath. He found her sweet spot in seconds, focusing all of his attention there. 

With her nails digging into his flesh, and her hips stuttering, Peter knew he had her where he wanted her. “Like that?” He rasped, pulling away to admire the strings of purple and blue that littered her skin. 

“Fuck yea Parker; you learn fast.” She gasped, attempting at a laugh, as she peeled her chest off of him.  She took a hand of his into hers, grasping two of his fingers as she bought them to her lips. 

Hollowing her cheeks as she sensually sucked and lubricated his digits, she bought his other hand down to her shorts, beckoning him to unbutton them. “Touch me here.” She murmured, eyes taking in the wide curious ones staring back at her. 

With the newly slick fingers, Peter did as she told him, dipping his fingers beneath the waistband of her panties and finding her nub instantaneously. “Right here?” He enquired, when her breathing turned shaky. 

“Mmm, god yes!” She praised, as he worked his fingers over her. 

Setting a consistent pace, Peter lightly grazed her clit, every time he ran his fingers up and down her folds. “Am I doing this right?” He questioned, flicking and teasing her core. 

“Mhm” She mewled, “fuck y-your fingers feel so good” Her speech was now becoming slightly incoherent.

“Yeah?” He groaned, “What about my mouth?” He asked, just before unclasping her bra a little too effortlessly with one hand. Latching his lips against her perky chest, he massaged the other mound with his free hand.  

Words were lost on her, as she became a wanton mess. She couldn’t fathom how he could be so skillful with both hands. How a person could multitask the way that he did was indescribable. His hand on her clit didn’t let up, but neither did the one that tweaked and pulled on her nipple. Not to mention the hot tongue that darted and sucked meticulously at her other. She couldn’t stifle her cries if she tried. 

Riding his fingers, she pressed his head further into her chest,  becoming greedy with his touch, as she sprinted towards her orgasm. She thought that this feeling couldn’t get any better. 

Of course, Peter was full of nothing but surprises tonight, and needed to prove her wrong. He let two of his fingers slip inside of her, while a thumb replaced the ones that were glued to her clit. Rubbing circles against her sex, he pumped the two fingers furiously in and out of her hole. 

“Does that feel good, baby?”

But the girl didn’t answer, Her mouth hung open as if she wanted to, but the words were jumbled somewhere in her throat. Her face twisted into pleasure, and she couldn’t do anything but succumb to his measures against her body.

It wasn’t long before she felt her stomach spasming, the heat pooling to her core, her already sensitive flower growing even more sensitive, as she came into his palm. 

Her juices coated his digits, her walls fluttered around them, and her skin was now hot to the touch, as Peter forced her climax out of her. 

Tears flooded her eyes, as she took in as much air as she could. When had she stopped breathing? Maybe sometime during the earth-shattering orgasm her old classmate was giving her. 

Once the ringing in her ears subsided, and her lower region began to cool again, she thanked the boy and praised him as she said, “You did so well,” before planting hot wet kisses on his shoulder and neck.

She stopped when she felt his body shaking. Coming back up to eye him, she asked what he found so funny. 

Peter tried to hide the smirk that plastered his lips but he couldn’t hold his act any longer. “You just don’t get it do you?” He asks as he casually licks and sucks at his fingers, just as she did earlier, relishing in the taste of her essence. 

The confusion on her face and brain was evident. “Get wha—” He had her pinned on her back, before she could utter the last syllable.

The tight space was cramped, but the boy had more than enough room to stalk his prey. He hovered above her, ridding her of the rest of her clothes in one fell swoop, before delivering his monologue. 

“I don’t know what it is about girls like you, but I swear you drive me crazy.” He admitted, before removing his jeans in a quick motion. “You always assume that just because I’m a nice guy, I won’t be able to fuck your brains out.” He informed, before revealing a hidden condom and rolling it on before lining himself up at her entrance. “But I hope that if tonight proves anything to you,” He starts, eyes finally darting up to land on her horror-filled ones, “it will be that your mindset can land you in a whole heap of trouble.”

And with that, he grasps the door above her head, before sinking himself into her.

Groaning at the feel of her, Peter’s facade dropped completely. Her tight little cunt feels even better than he imagined, and he hopes that he feels better than she ever imagined. 

He starts slow, with the intent of her feeling every ridge of his cock, as it threatens to invade her stomach. Her soft tits bouncing with every thrust, send a jolt through his body every time her nipples graze his chest. The way his name falls off her sweet tongue, has him in shambles, as he picks up his pace, throwing slow and steady out of the window. 

Her cries are loud in his ear, as he ruts against her sex. He’s so thick, its hard for her to think straight. He can feel the indents of her nails as they dig into his lower back; she tries to press his ass closer to her, never wanting him to leave.

Maybe if it were any other guy fucking her, she would have felt the seat buckle digging into her back. Maybe she would have felt her sticky sweaty skin on the leather of his back seat. Maybe the awkward position her head was in would have spoiled her experience. But with Peter, she could only focus on the pleasure. 

His thrusts were relentless now. His hot breath was fanning the side of her cheeks. His previously damp hair, stuck to her neck, as he drove himself further into her skin. Nothing could distract him away from her in this moment.

Nothing but the faint glow of her phone, that is. It’s buzzing, and vibrations immediately catching his eye, as he held his head up. That same dangerous smirk that she saw earlier returning. 

“Look who’s calling, baby.” He purred, overcoming the stutter of his hips. When he held her phone up for her to see, her heart sank at the mischief behind his words. Brad. “Should we answer it?”

“No, Pete!” She cried. 

“Oh come on, that would be rude wouldn’t it?” He dared, before delivering a particularly hard thrust, that sent her mind into a haze. “We can stop so you can take this—”

“No! D-don’t stop” She begged, prying the phone from his fingers, and fumbling with the answer button. 

“Babe? Hello?” Brad’s irritating voice answered flooding, her phone’s speaker. But the girl didn’t answer immediately, because she was too busy trying to stifle her whimpers. 

“Hey Brad!” She finally choked out, sounding somewhat normal. How she managed to do it, she couldn’t say. 

“Wow! Finally. This is like my eighth time trying you. I almost can’t believe you answered. What are you up to?”

“Should you tell him what you’re up to, babe?” Peter devilishly whispered against her skin.

“Nothing!” She whined into the phone. 

“Whoa. Are you okay? You sound a little off?”

“You should tell him you sound like this because I’m making you feel so good.” Peter suggested, driving her body up and down the seats. “I bet he’d wish he were me right now.”

“I-I’m just a feeling a l-li-little sick is all.” She breathlessly stuttered.

“Should I come over?”

“Ah yes Peter!” She wailed, when the boy starts circling his fingers against her clit, while simultaneously grinding slowly but roughly into her. She’s no longer paying attention to the man on the other end. His curses don’t faze her, nor does Peter’s actions as he releases the phone from her grip. 

“Hey Brad. Remember me.” He casually asks, ignoring Brad’s threats. “Yeah no man, don’t worry about her: I’ll make sure she’s real good and taken care of.” He promises, before ending the call, and tossing the device into the passenger’s seat. “Think he finally got the hint?”

Peter then takes the girl’s hips into his hands, lifting her inches off the seat, before pulling her body onto his dick at an ungodly speed.

Crying. She’s literally crying, with tears streaming down her face. Her voice is becoming hoarse with moans. She had never experienced such intense sex in her life. 

Peter brings the hand that was previously plastered on the glass down to the girl’s face. “would this be the definition of fucking your brains out, baby?” He grunts, in reference to the girl’s constant repetition of his name. It’s the only word she can remember, as he fucks her into the chair. 

His movements shook the car. The heat that their bodies radiated, fogging up the glass. The scent of their sex now embedded in the fabric of his seats. The boy was completely untamed. 

Her screams were one among the things that set him off. The way her body writhed against his was another. The stutter in her speech another. But the unbridled lust that her eyes held, was the literal icing on the cake. 

Thank fuck she came before him. Her tight little hole constricting and clenching his dick. And when he started slipping in and out, her eyes glued shut, and her chest started to rise and fall, he knew that she had came. 

A sweaty fucked out mess before him, she needed Peter to finish her off before she was satisfied. “Drown me in your cum” She begged, and it was like he knew exactly what she wanted. 

Unsheathing himself from her, he ridded himself of the condom, and started tugging violently at his cock. Fucking his hand, not unlike the way he fucked her earlier, he spurted his milky white seed all over her supple brown canvas, a husky groan roaring from his chest as he threw his head back in pleasure. His seed extinguished the heat that resided in her skin, and she closed her eyes shut, letting her head fall back down on the seat. 

The image of his white paint, all over her stomach, chest, and tits, bleeding into his memory, as he came back down from his high. 

Once back down to earth, reality began to sink back in. Immediately recomposing himself, Peter blurted, “Fuck are you okay? Was I too rough?”

His sudden outburst almost made her jump out of her skin, but she quickly recovered. “Oh god no Parker! I loved every minute of that.” She lazily smiled reassuringly.  “Do you always fuck like that?”

Peter returned the smirk, blushing before saying, “I’ve always wanted to fuck you like that.” 

After planting a final kiss on her lips, he reached into the center console, to scavenge a few wet wipes, cleaning her skin before discarding them. 

Moments later, they reunited with their lost articles of clothes, pulling the fabrics over their limbs before crawling back into the front seat.

When Peter put his seatbelt back on, and cranked the car up with no effort, he felt the heat of the girl’s eyes on his skin. 

“What?” He asked, dumbfounded by her glare. 

“Was there ever anything wrong with the car?”

And then as if just realizing Peter mouthes oh, before telling her simply “No.” Adding on that he just wanted an excuse to spend more time with her. 

“Well how the fuck did you know I wasn’t gonna just take your offer for an Uber?”  She asked, more impressed than pissed.

“Because you’re a neutral person, and a neutral person would feel too bad about doing that.”

“There’s a lot of things I still have to learn about you Parker.” She admits, sinking down into her seat. Heat rising to her cheeks, as a new crush began to develop. 

“Don’t worry. I’m willing to teach you.” 

 A/N: So like...don’t be afraid to tell me what you think. I swear I dont bite...unless you're into that. also this was edited it, but probably not well, so tell me if you see an error.