Just wanted to stop in and say wow. Your writing incredible. I’ve read all of your Persona 5 fics (except for the childhood Akechi one.. still emotionally and mentally preparing for that..) and I’m blown away with each and every one. Especially Like Sand Between Your Fingers, of course. I speedran reading that in 3 days and my lord I was and still am an absolute MESS over it (SO MANY TEARS SHED.. FULL ON SOBBING MAN.) Your ideas, character portrayals, and interpretations are marvelous. It truly feels like it could be content from the game! You’re definitely my favorite ao3 author. I’ve found that no other can quite match your perfect, true-to-media characterization and plot. In LSBYF, every challenge presented in Shido’s palace was so well-thought and was really entertaining to read! I was so captivated by your story that it was hard to peel myself away from the fic. I have so many thoughts regarding LSBYF, I could honestly write a whole essay on it. I also really enjoyed your Ann and Akechi fic! Again, characterization was on point and the lighthearted moments were so warm.
I’ve been reading fanfic for a few years now and I’ve never felt so moved to the point where I wanted to personally commend the author. I see you haven’t been too active, but if you are planning on writing more Persona fics, I’ll be first in line to read. I hope you have a good day/night/whatever time it is!
Oh my god. Hi. Hang on, I just need to wipe away the puddle that is my heart on the floor...
Seriously, thank you. Thank you so much for this heartfelt, beautiful message. Honestly, you just reminded me of why I love being a writer and publishing my work. It's for people like you, it's to make you happy and see the result of it. I just cannot put into words how much your words mean to me.
Hearing someone say my characterization is close to in-media and my plot very good makes me wanna do a backflip out the window, it's so surreal. It makes me actually feel proud of what I do. People like you make me continue to love my hobby. That's magical, so, yeah - thank you.
I do have more story planned, even have it all mapped out. But I have been stuck in a little block at the moment, with some other things going on. I do wanna write that sequel though, it is in the works (early stages, but we are there).
Again, all I can say is thank you. I really, REALLY appreciate you and your words. Favourite ao3 author? That is - unbelievably high praise, I just can't believe it. Thank you. Really, thank you.
I hope you continue to be the kind human being that you are and have a wonderful timezone! <3
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something bad happened to you, and you died, and you came back wrong.
not wrong all the way. the little ways. you forget important dates, stopped going out with friends. it's harder to make you smile. you're apathetic towards things you used to love, afraid of places you used to go to cheer up. quieter. flinching. different.
you came back for love. you're still here for love. what pulled you back was a brightness so loud that even death couldn't outshout it. death heard the call and smiled at you and said okay. go home. somebody is waiting for you.
but you came back different. like lot's wife; you've turned into salt. you used to chirp through life in hops and skips; but now you lose skin just standing up. you have to move slower, skimming across this world without-touching-it. most things feel dull - until they're suddenly all-too-much. life, and being alive just rushes up and over you and you get hopelessly crushed.
you try to explain it to them: it is ugly, but this is what you are, now. the huge golden hoop of your halo now a little bronze ring. you are still watering your plants and wearing the same clothes. after all, you worked hard to come home. this life; so odd and off-color, now that you are wrong.
but they waited for you - it's just that they wanted the "you" that happened before this. the "you" that could sing in the show and hug people tight and look at a blade without breaking down to cry. the you with a smile in pictures. god, holyshit, it's like looking at a completely different person, isn't it. that other-you; the one they actually wanted.
you are the consolation prize. you are the body that forgot the ghost. you are the memory of the bad thing, and the death after; like you are wearing that memory as a banner. you are a fragment, an assembly. simulacrum. you don't make eye contact in mirrors, afraid the light will glance off and your true nature will flash back at you.
you hear them talk about it in their hushed, desperate whispers. sometimes they even admit it to your face; harsh and violent, acid thrown at christmas dinner. god, can you just fucking be normal again. you do not remember what normal is. you had to climb so far to get back here; you are far too exhausted. you want to open the glass door of your heart and show all the gears. can you help resolve whatever got messed up?
you try so, so hard. you came back for them. because you believed they would love you, even when you were so horribly broken. because you believed they would be patient. because you believed unconditional meant "without exception." you cannot do things the same way. you just get tired too quickly these days.
you want to put them on a couch and pour them the tea with hands that shake more than they remember. you want to line them up and draw them a map of where you have had to wander. you want to show every bruise in a backsplash; the little helpless ant of your soul carrying all that weight, over and over. you want to say: yes! it is different! but i did it for love!
you want to say: "i'm not the same, but i'm yours and i'm here. can that be enough?"
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