#i am not fully awake to put this properly but it's make sense a lot

[lookliketaylorswift]

what i think this album did was separate people who treat taylor as taylor swift the human vs taylor swift the brand

[dsaf-confessions]

the rogersport anon says that we should assign our favorite character a song by our favorite artist, so I WILL COMPLY. henry goes perfectly with abbey by mitski. i could do a WORD BY WORD, BAR BY BAR analysis of why. but i won't. ACTUALLY. "i am hungry, i have been hungry, i was born hungry" - henry, inherently, is a character full of longing, or 'hunger'. he longs to be taken seriously by his colleges, he longs for his creations to be successful and thrive, he longs for perfection, he longs to he correct, and more than anything, he longs to be free from his universe which he knows is not real. he has this sense of longing/hunger festering inside of him, one that leads him to do drastic things constantly. "what do i need?" - as with most people who have mental or emotional troubles, henry isn't exactly sure what he needs to make the sense of longing go away. he's a perfectionist, he wants everything to go perfectly for him, but what does that look like, how does he reach that? he's constantly working towards a goal of perfection that he will never reach, not fully grasping whatever it is he needs to be content with himself and those around him because it's unrealistic. "i am something, i have been something, i was born something. what could i be?" - constantly longing towards a sense of perfection, henry puts his work in the place of himself constantly. he doesn't provide himself with any sense of care, instead placing all of his efforts towards his creations. severe perfectionism, as he clearly has, usually stems from a sense of emptiness. henry has been through a lot of loss in his life, and instead of trying to cope with it, he tries to fill the void by working, which will only make the void inevitably bigger. his mental state is clearly in disarray by the way he behaves. and, hell, he knows he isn't really real. all in all, henry definitely derealizes and disassociates, which is what this line screams to me. "there is a light that i can see, but only, it seems, when there's darkness in me" - henry can see his potential, he knows how smart he is and knows that he is capable of amazing things. but, the issue is, he only seems to be able to reach that potential by hurting himself and those around him. he is able to do great things, but he doesn't know how to do them without harming somebody in the process. he uses other people to reach his goals. "there is a dream that i can see, that only appears in the dark of sleep" - this ties back to the sense of longing. henry longs so much to reach his virtually impossible goals. he can see them, he knows they are there and he wants desperately to achieve them, but they always seem so far away. no matter how many milestones he reaches, something new always sets him back. he can never properly complete what he wants to. "i am waiting, i have been waiting, i was born waiting" - henry is waiting, desperately, for some kind of breakthrough, something to show that he isn't insane. he is waiting for his life's work and experiments to finally pay off for him. and, he dies waiting for that to happen, only to have his ideas snatched out from under him. at this point in the song, you can hear the intensity vastly increase, as if the singer is having some sort of meltdown (i'd place it on a panic attack or manic episode). the rest of the lines are basically repeats, except for the last one. "there is a dream, and it sleeps in me, to awake in the night crying 'set me free.' and i awake every night crying 'set me free.'" - now, this could relate to a lot of things with henry. it could be talking about how his work and goals absolutely consume him to the point of utter madness, causing him to desperately claw towards them by any means necessary. it could be talking about how he literally wants to be set free from his reality and enter ours. it could be talking about his undeniable ptsd, which often causes nightmares/night terrors. any way you push the interpretation of the song though, it's SO henry. thank you for reading<33 - henry's #2 fan anon

.

[uvobreakmylegs]

Hypnagogia

Warnings: kidnapping, graphic depictions of violence, death

The years of harsh training that he had received since he was a child ensured that Illumi could never fall into a truly deep sleep. It was something all of the Zoldyck children had learned, to be aware of their surroundings even while resting. Falling asleep completely would leave him vulnerable to a potential attack. Vulnerability was weakness, and when one came from a family of assassins who were open about their occupation, one could not afford weakness; one needed to be ready for any potential enemies that were competent enough to get past the mountain gate and the host of butlers in their employ.

So even as Illumi slept with you curled up by his side in bed, there was still a part of him that was awake and taking note of everything.

The sound of your steady breathing.

The way the moving air made the curtains flutter against each other.

The noises of the wildlife that came alive at night in the woods beyond the mansion.

Even the distant sounds of the servants in the hallways as they worked through the night.

At one point you shifted in your sleep, turning over so that you faced him, your hand grasping the fabric of his nightshirt and resting on his chest. He tightened his grip around you, holding you close while still staying asleep.

Things were as they should be.

When you woke up some time later he didn't react. Nor did he react when you sat up, pulling away from him as you left the bed. This was unusual, but not unusual enough to rouse himself from sleep to confront you. You got upset when he demanded an explanation for your every action, even if he had good reason to do so.

Your reason for leaving the bed appeared to be an innocent one as he heard your soft footsteps make their way to the bathroom, the door slowly closing shut as you tried not to make a lot of noise.

Illumi continued to sleep while waiting patiently for you, anticipating the feeling of your warm body against his when you would return and fall asleep next to him again.

The sounds of the toilet flushing and the running water from the sink echoed against the porcelain surfaces in the bathroom. You would be back soon, and Illumi would be content to have you in his arms again.

He waited for you.

And waited.

…....

…. Something wasn't right.

That feeling woke him fully, his black eyes opening as he sat up in bed, looking towards the bathroom door. The light from the bathroom still shone beneath the door, but he could sense that you were no longer in there.

He had made his way over to the door in a matter of seconds, throwing it open to find exactly what he had been expecting: an empty bathroom and you nowhere in sight.

A small window near the ceiling caught his attention. It was wide open, and though it was a fairly high off of the tiled floor and the ground outside, it wouldn't have been impossible for you to have gotten out that way.

Illumi let out a small sigh as he turned and made his way to one of the side doors within his wing of the house that lead to the outside. No need to risk one of the butlers seeing him and then reporting this incident back to his parents. He had no desire for another lecture from his mother on training you “properly.”

You'd been doing so well recently, and you hadn't tried to escape in months. He had truly thought you had given up on the idea and that you had accepted your role as his wife.

Once he caught you it would be back to training again, and he would take however long he needed to drill it into you that there were no other options: you were his, and your place was here on Kukuroo Mountain.

The wildlife in the forest grew silent as he left the mansion and began his descent down the mountainside. It was easy to spot where nature had been disturbed: small branches that had snapped and clumps of dirt that had been kicked up leaving him a trail to follow. He couldn't help but muse on how the results of your training were showing through. Though the trail was there, it was less obvious than the ones you had left on your previous escape attempts. You were more aware of your surroundings and knew better on how to leave with virtually no trace behind. He would have been proud of you if not for the circumstances. Why couldn't you put these skills to use for the sake of him and his family?

He continued down the mountain, following your path. He had yet to come across you at all, and his brows furrowed the longer he continued. Your skills had grown since you had come here, but he knew from experience that you could not outrun him. He should have found you by now. So why hadn't he?

Had you somehow tricked him?

Did you make this path as a decoy while you attempted to leave down another side of the mountain?

It was certainly possible that you would have known you wouldn't be able to surpass him physically and had attempted to outwit him to buy yourself enough time. If this was the case, he would need to make sure that the lessons he taught after capturing you would stay with you so you would never try this again.

Illumi was about to head back up the mountain to see where he had gone wrong in following you when he noticed something in a particular patch of soft dirt. Multiple sets of footprints heading down the mountain, none of which could have belonged to you.

More tricks? Perhaps accomplices of yours? Or.....?

Illumi sprinted past, descending the mountain as he searched for you, still following the path that he now realized may not have been left by you. There were possibilities in his mind as to what had happened, but it was better now to ignore them and focus on finding you.

He was almost at the base of the mountain when he spotted something.

Three black-clad figures in one of the lower gardens, two women and a man. And there you were, unceremoniously slung over the man's shoulder as the three of them ran. It was clear you were unconscious.

The three sensed him then, stopping beneath a pristine gazebo as they turned to face him. The terror was evident in their stiff forms when their eyes landed on him. Getting caught wasn't something they had accounted for. Perhaps they would have gotten away if it had been literally anyone other than a member of the Zoldyck family hunting them down.

Your limbs hung limply as the man held you, only swaying lightly when he pulled out a sword and pointed it at Illumi, the women with him following suit.

All the while Illumi stood there, silently assessing the situation before he came to a conclusion.

“Were you trying to kidnap my wife?”

The three tensed at the question, their auras flaring as they anticipated an attack. Illumi remained relaxed, even cocking his head to the side slightly as he asked “am I correct?”

After a bit of hesitation, the man nodded.

Illumi couldn't help the smile that formed (which only served to put the intruders more on edge).

“That's a relief,” he said, sighing, “I was worried she was trying to get away again. I'm glad that wasn't the case this time.”

“You.... You're glad we tried to take her?” one of the women asked.

As quickly as it had come, the smile on Illumi's face faded away, his aura flaring and engulfing the three of them.

“Of course not,” he said, his tone far more grave now.

“The fact that people like you would even think of touching her is unacceptable.”

The intruders were skilled enough, and had enough sense to know that an attack from him was imminent. As Illumi burst forward, needles in hand, the man threw you to the woman at the back, yelling at her to run. The other woman was too slow in raising her sword to block Illumi's first strike and a needle entered her skull and burst out through the other side, lodging itself in the stone pillar of the gazebo as she fell to the ground dead.

The man fared only a bit better, managing to block the needle thrown at him and running forward to swing his sword in an attempt to take Illumi's head. It was easily dodged, and Illumi threw four more needles at him, three of which hit their marks and leaving the man to join his fallen companion.

The last one hadn't gotten far, the other two having only been able to buy her mere seconds before Illumi turned his attention to her. She was carrying you on her back, effectively using you as a body shield as you obscured her vitals. There were a few ways in which he could strike the needle through you to kill her and only leave you with minor damage, but he rejected them. These people weren't worth making you go through any sort of pain.

He sent six needles flying towards her legs, embedding themselves from the back of her knee down to her ankle with three on each leg and making her cry out as she fell forward. She lost her grip on you and you fell to the side of her, the terrain making you roll away slightly. The woman was still trying to fight, but her attempts to pull out any weapons she could use to throw at him were quashed when he threw two more of his needles, these one stabbing through her wrists. She cried out as the nen in his needles worked through her, intentionally causing her pain.

But at the moment she wasn't important. Illumi brought his attention back to you, walking to where you lay and kneeling to examine you. There was minimal damage to you, some scrapes along your arms and legs where the branches in the forest had brushed against you. The worst of it was at the base of you neck where a bruise was beginning to form, the size and shape of the mark a clear indicator that this was where they had hit you to knock you out. Aside from that, you appeared to be fine, and Illumi allowed himself another small smile as he picked up your fallen form and held you bridal style.

The woman was now attempting to crawl away, her hands and feet tearing up the grass of the garden while the needles impaired her movement. The last of the intruders was taken care of with a flick of his wrist and a needle in the back of her skull.

His walk back up to the family home was brisk, and instead of heading for the side door to his quarters as he had originally intended, he went towards the main entrance instead. Even from his current position he could sense the activity from the mansion; someone had noticed that something had been amiss and had raised the alarm. Better to go in through the front and order whatever servants were there to clean up the bodies he had left in the gardens. That way he could have you back in the safety of his room that much faster.

What he hadn't expected was to see Silva standing at the mansion's entrance, Tsubone and Amane standing a few feet behind him. Silva glanced down at your unconscious form in Illumi's arms, a single brow raising.

“What is it this time?” he asked as Illumi made his way inside.

“Nothing that was her fault.”

A look of mild surprise settled on his face as Illumi continued “intruders found their way up here and tried to make off with her.”

“Did you find out how they got in?”

“They weren't talking.”

“Hmm.”

Silva sounded as though he didn't believe Illumi on that last part, but he made no move to stop him as his eldest son walked back to his wing of the house. Even if Silva (rightfully) believed that Illumi had made no effort to get any information from the intruders, there was little to be done about it now.

“Tell mother that her favorite garden is largely intact,” Illumi called back.

His father made another noise of disapproval, but ultimately decided to drop the matter.

“Tsubone,” Illumi heard Silva say.

“Yes, master Silva.”

“Get those bodies off of my mountain.”

Illumi tuned out whatever words were said next. As far as he was concerned, the matter no longer involved him. His focus was now on you and your well-being. From looking over you earlier, he knew that physically, you'd be fine. The slight injuries you had received would be gone in no time, but he was going to keep you by his side as much as possible for the next few days. He would just need to make it clear that this time it wasn't being done as a punishment. As he had said to his father, you weren't at fault for anything that had happened tonight. The most that could be blamed on you was the fact that you had been captured so easily, but that was a fault that was also on him; that he somehow hadn't been able to sense the presence of those intruders when they snatched you from the bathroom. There was room for improvement for both of you, and Illumi was content to work towards that as long as you were by his side.

After closing the window in the bathroom and changing you into clean nightclothes, Illumi pulled you back under the covers with him, arranging you so your head was resting against his chest while he wrapped his arms around you again. He was sleeping again shortly after.

If anyone was to walk in on the two of you, they wouldn't have suspected that the events of the last hour had happened at all.

When you awoke next Illumi woke with you, and he watched as you reached for the back of your neck, lightly touching the tender spot where you'd been hit.

“I-Illumi?” you asked, trying to find his face in the dark.

“Yes?”

“Did.... Did something happen?”

“You don't remember?”

You shook your head.

“You were attacked by intruders who tried to take you from me,” Illumi explained, “I chased them down and took you back.”

“Ah. I see,” you said, resting your head back down on his chest. You didn't bother asking what had happened to the intruders; the answer was easy enough to figure out.

The conversation seemed as though it had ended, and Illumi was waiting for you to go back to sleep before he did so himself. Outside in the mansion, the activity he had sensed on his way back up had died down as well. Tonight's little disturbance had ended, and everyone was more than willing to move past it.

“Illumi?”

“Yes?”

“Thank you,” you said, “sorry for getting caught.”

Illumi's eyes widened slightly at your words. He wasn't sure what exactly he had expected from you, but it wasn't that.

“I would be a terrible husband if I abandoned my wife so easily.”

You hummed in response, closing your eyes as you settled yourself on top of him. Illumi watched silently, repeating your words in his head and mulling them over. Before you could go back to sleep again, he got your attention by speaking your name.

“Do you love me?” he asked when you looked back to him.

“...... Yeah.”

It had taken a few seconds too long for you to reply, and the answer itself was not wholly satisfying. He had been hoping for a straightforward “yes”. Certainly by now he had proved that he cared for you.

Nothing more was said between you two, and you finally fell back into your slumber. As Illumi fell back to sleep himself, he reminded himself that you had thanked him unprompted, and had even apologized for your shortcomings. The matter of you loving him was unsatisfactory, but something was going right for your relationship. It was merely something else that could be worked on when the morning came.

As you fell back into your deep sleep state, that part of Illumi that always stayed awake remained aware of everything about you. The sound of your breathing as it stayed in a steady pattern, the feel of your weight against him, and the way you would shift in your sleep, at times attempting to pull away from him. Every time that happened, he would pull you back to him. Even asleep, he would make sure to keep you by his side always.

[cosmiclatte28]

Comfort (Yuta x you)

a/n : WAIST has gotten a lot of love! Thank you everyone..and this is just another scenario similar to that one. Sorry for being away and unable to post stories as frequent as before, I was caught up with hws and tests. plus my finals are coming. 

So, here is another domestic Yuta... to the Yuta fanfic lovers out there I know @yutahoes @ailoveyuta @2-3-t-i

It's stressful. February is the shortest month of the year, yet it is the most frustrating one, at least for you.

Midterm has just ended and you're drained to the point where you've been lacking sleeps just to finish reading all the chapters, stay awake with coffees to concentrate on the test, and totally holding your scream back when the test ended and the score was not satisfying.

You were even more tired when the materials you read during your sleeping schedule did not make it to the questions.

You thought once the paper is turned over, you can just fly home and jump on your bed to sleep.

No, you have to finish some more labs, homework’s, and finals are coming!

You have been laying down on the sofa, face down on your belly. You did not hear it when the door clicks, and your boyfriend comes to visit you.

"Oh? Nani?" Yuta asks to himself when he steps into the not so tidy room. He knows this small studio room you rent by heart. He always love how you're able to keep the small area clean and tidy the room well to make it spacious. But not today, he's surprised to find your scattered papers and books on the dining table and the study table. Your laptop is still on, and the living room table is messy with some clothes.

Yuta walks silently to the pantry, checking on your trash and refrigerator to check if you've been eating well or not.

His guess was right, you did not eat properly. His eyes scan through the highlighted textbook pages and your neat notes. Yuta sighs as he calmly puts his phone down and begins sorting your notes and piling them up into one stack.

He sees you on the sofa, looking lifeless. You must be asleep, or else you'd already bombarded him with the story of your hectic week.

Yuta just smile when he remembers how he used to work hard like you back then in high school days. Right now, he is an idol and his training is different than yours. He didn't have papers this much, but he is also working as hard as regular students.

Yuta continues his journey to the living room, cleaning up the mess you made and gets on his knee to watch you sleep.

He pushes your hairs away and gasps when his fingers touch your moist warm cheeks and wet eyelashes.

You're crying in your sleep? Or you cried yourself to sleep?

He glances to the clock, it's past dinner already, somewhere around nine. Appropriate for bedtime considering you must've lacked sleep for the last week.

"(Y/n)~" Yuta softly whispers into your ear, then leans in to kiss your head slowly to wake you up.

You stir in your sleep and blink several times before peeking through your hairs to find your boyfriend already looking at you.

You yawn "Ah Yuta- you're-" you pause yawning again "-here."

You try to push yourself from laying down, but there's not much energy from you and you remain slumped on the chair.

Yuta just gives you a small smile before hoisting you up, so you're seated on the sofa properly.

He sits next to you, and you automatically lean to his side.

"How long have you been here?" Your question is still slurred, just like when people get up from sleep.

"Thirty minutes? You're deep asleep on the sofa. Didn't I tell you to sleep on the bed. You'll get sick if you sleep here." He rubs his hand lovingly through your long hair.

You snuggle closer to him and just hum.

Your emotion lately hasn’t been great, something super melancholy is running in your body. Was it the lack of sleep? Homesickness? Missing Yuta? Or just the pressure of performing well in class?

Yuta senses how the atmosphere is down. He regularly comes here to visit you to recharge himself by listening to your lively rants and gossips. It's something new to find you-the battery- to be this sad.

Yuta takes the queue that this is his time to take care of you.

"Are you okay?" He starts by asking you the simple question you always ask him.

You shake your head. Your body is already facing him, one of your leg is folded on the sofa while the other is dangling on the edge. Your arms have already hugged his slightly toned arm and your cheek is on his shoulder.

Yuta clicks his tongue and gently pulls you up his lap. You make yourself comfortable straddling him and lean your face to his chest.

Your small petite figure makes it super easy to fit fully into Yuta's body and you feel yourself calm down as you listen to his calm steady heartbeats.

"Mind to share?" He rakes his fingers through your hair while his other hand is secured around the small of your back. Just resting there to tell you, he is here, and you are safe with him.

You stay silent and remain frozen. You want to share, but you don’t know what’s making you feel this way.

Your eyes focus on the tiny fleece on Yuta’s sweater and your hand fumble with his soft sweater.

You lean into his warm embrace, exhaling all of your tension away and fall completely limp to him.

“I don’t know what is bothering me. Everything just-“ you pause, trying to find the right words, “pile up and suddenly I burst into tears and slept.” You pout, your finger begins to trace random lines on Yuta’s back when you feel his thumb starts grazing over your bare waist. Ah Yuta and his habit, you may be honest and admit you miss this feeling.

“Well, that was you not realizing you’re holding your emotion back too much because you’re too focused on something else.” The Japanese man in his calm deep voice whispers into your ear.

You hum once again and feel soft kisses on your shoulder.

Yuta knows he cannot get things out of your heart if you’re not willing to tell him, or like what you admit… you just don’t know which one is affecting you.

So, he sticks to his one and only way of comforting you, by staying with you and letting you know he is here for you.

His big hand moves from only holding your waist to hugging it and he brings his other free hand to your neck. Gently he pulls you closer to his warmth, you melt yourself into Yuta, into your comfort, your safe place, your home.

Inhaling his scent can already help you breathe better.

Feeling his touch makes you sure he is here and he won’t leave you.

Melting into his body, makes you smile at how perfectly fitting both of you are.

Having Yuta for yourself is like winning the lottery and you’re more than glad to exchange everything in this world for you to be with him again.

You just need Yuta, hugging you, tracing circles on your waist, breathing next to your ear, letting you listen to his heart beat, and kissing your shoulder bit by bit to make yourself feel better and ready.

Yes, ready for a new day, a new chance, a new page.

“Thank you for coming tonight.” you finally broke the comfortable silence.

You pull yourself away from his warmth, thinking that he must feel numb already keeping your body on top of his for almost an hour.

You’re like a koala hugging a tree for dear life!

Yuta smiles and you feel the night is no longer gloomy, not when you have your starry man here with you. He pushes your hair back to your ear and pecks your lips “You could always call me anytime! I’ll find my way back to you.”

You nod “I know, you’re one call away.” You smile, this time it is nothing forced. It’s a natural smile that always appear when you talk about Yuta.

He suddenly wraps your arms around his shoulder and places your legs over his waist. With one swift, he has you in the air hanging on his body.

“Now that you’re smiling already, your body is cold but your face is warm. You’ve skipped meals!” he scolds you as he walks to the kitchen with you on his body. You feel like a little kid getting scolded by their mother.

You blush “How am I warm and cold at the same time?”

He gets flustered at that question but shrugs it off “Your face is warm, I don’t want you to fall sick just because I let you sleep without a proper meal. Your fingertips are cold. How could you skip meals?” he puts you down on the chair and goes to check your food supply.

“Great, you just have eggs and oh ramen.” He picks up two packages and starts boiling the water.

“I’ll bring you to a proper meal tomorrow morning. No rejection or refutation, you need to be healthy despite being so engrossed in studying.”

You nod “Okay mom-“ you teasingly joke with him.

He giggles “You’re glad I am not your real mom, or I’d already whip you for not eating properly.”

“Actually, if you don’t mind… please accompany me to do grocery shopping tomorrow.” You glance to the empty kitchen racks. You usually have some snacks or popcorns ready, some booster drinks and fun candies. It’s all gone during test prep and you’re too tired to restock them, but now that you have Yuta who can help you carry the things up to the room… you might as well use his help right?

“I love you, Yuta.” You suddenly back hug him and press your cheek into his back. He was way taller, you cannot lean your chin on his shoulder, so this is cute enough.

Your eyes cannot leave how his strong body, but pretty figure looks perfect in an apron, cooking ramen.

He puts the fork down and turns his body to face you. He cups your face and kisses you softly “I love you too, now don’t go too hard on yourself okay? Always know that you have me and I will always be here for you (Y/n)~”

You nod “I am also always here for you, Yuta!”

end

thank you! cheer up and hold on :D tomorrow will be better :D

have a nice day/night

[vegalocity]

Kiss 9- first kiss for Amnesia Spicynoodles? (Whether as Red Boy and Xiaotian or Red Son and MK, your choice).

Affection meme

9. first kiss

Goddamn i gotta get back on that AU

That's actually a very clever shorthand for the difference between 'the Son of the Monkey King' and 'The Monkie Kid' Anon hope you don't mind me using it!

Also since this is technically the first real THING i'm writing for this Au it got a lil crazy

--

It was.... weird... falling into this rhythm with Red Son.

Even he'd seemed surprised at how quickly he'd agreed to join their team while they were hunting down the weapon that could finally end the Lady Bone Demon. Sure he'd reasoned that he was doing it for the sake of his father, that their family had been taken advantage of by that demon, and this was little more than 'enemy of my enemy' but barely time at all had passed before he may as well have joined simply because he wanted to.

There weren't a lot of bunks on Sandy's Hovership, and at the start of all of this, everyone was so on edge (and in Monkey King's case injured) that it just made more sense to sleep whenever it struck rather than sort out bedroom options and who bunked with whom.

Which had lead to some interesting things so far, such as Monkey King tending to curl up against Tang as he was reading or something and taking a nap right there and how Tang seemed like... wayyy too comfortable with it despite how he'd first reacted to seeing him on New Years.

Pigsy was ALWAYS crabby in the mornings, but he was getting exponentially more frustrated after waking up for something or another he never seemed to be able to relay when he woke (probably some frustrating reoccurring dream that keeps blotting out when he wakes up, MK didn't remember his dreams much either so he could relate)

And about thee days in of Red Son working with them, he'd knocked out during some down time, and while he was sitting near him. The ship rumbled, Red Son hadn't woken, but he slid to the side until he was leaned against MK's shoulder. and... It was comfy. Red Son was warm, and soft.

And before he'd known it he was being startled awake by Xiaojiao making delighted cooing noises and the flash of her camera. And when he jostled Red Son woke up as well. He'd met his gaze for a second and his artist brain noted that his eyes were a rather lovely shade of amber, not even fiery orange or honey brown, but pure, precious stone amber.

and for a moment it had felt... nostalgic... in a way he couldn't place. and the puzzled look on Red Son's face mirrored his confusion at the sudden thought, before the demon slammed up the walls again and pushed MK away, face burning bright red.

But from there it had spiraled.

It was just so... easy? he supposed would be the word. It was almost startling how easy it was to fall into this rhythm with Red Son. Not a few months ago he was a nominal enemy, yet here they were finding themselves sitting next to eachother more often than not, sometimes close enough for shoulders to brush, their unconscious bodies rolling over at once to tangle together like it was the most natural thing in the world.

At one point they were facing a demon that had cast one of those 'greatest fear' spells over the lot of them, and before it had hit he'd felt Red Son slip his hand into his own with a small startled gasp. And before the world went black and he was covered by spiders and the looming specter of his own failures he'd squeezed back.

That had actually happened just hours ago, and MK's hand was still tingly. Everyone was a little shaken up from that one. (Monkey King had holed himself away in one of the few bedrooms there were and he sounded physically pained when MK had tried to check in on him and he'd answered that he'd rather be alone. he was pretty sure Tang was allowed in, and he tried not to take that personally. It was probably a whole 'Mentor doesn't want his student to see him freaked out' thing. If he didn't stop taking everything so damn personally he'd be a sucker for the next fear spell or whatever.) And unlike the others, Red Son didn't have any loved ones on this ship to help reassure him.

So... if their... something or another... that had been developing was gonna mean anything, that probably meant it should fall on him.

Red Son was where he'd expected him to be, half buried in engine guts in Sandy's work area, his hands were shaking and there was a far off look in his eye.

MK had to physically lift him and drag him away, and it was a lot harder without the Mystic Monkie Strength, but he managed.

in fact he'd gotten all the way to the kitchen area and Red Son had stopped struggling in his arms screeching to be let go (yet never trying to flare his fire and forcing MK to drop him) before his stamina gave out and he had to deposit Red Son in one of the chairs.

"Noodle boy i swear this truce will end in an INSTANT if you do not explain yourself-"

"You're freaking out."

"YES I AM! You would be too if your current ally just lifted you up from what you were doing and carried you to the deserted part of the ship because even the Pig is too on edge to be in here!"

"I mean from this afternoon. Red son, you've been pale as a sheet since we got out of there and your hands are STILL shaking." He watched as he hurriedly hid them in his pockets. "You need to talk to someone. And it may as well be me."

"I- I don't need to talk about ANYTHING! Presumptuous Noodle Boy... Bold of you to assume I'd just pour my heart out at some perceived internal detriment which you have no proof even exists!" The bluster and casual insults were considerably less convincing than they were when they were enemies...

...maybe he was just starting to see through them better.

Red Son pulled his hands back onto the table, as a sort of subtle show of how fine he totally was, and clenched his fists to keep them from continuing to shake.

"Red..." The nickname felt... natural. He couldn't quite explain why, but he supposed they'd been Something-or-Another-ing long enough to make it reasonable. Red Son's glare abated and was replaced quickly with a shocked expression. But he didn't shout to not be called something so short, so MK considered that a signal to continue. So he continued with what felt natural and placed a hand over his clenched fist.

The defensive anger was all but gone. And that puzzled, yet slightly awed look he kept sharing with Red Son during moments like these replaced it and those amber eyes darted down to their linked hands, as if he didn't quite know what to do next.

Eventually Red Son came to a decision, and MK let him fiddle around with his grip until their hands were linked properly. And it felt... it was that weird sense of nostalgia again. And as everything else neither of them could quite explain it felt right. familiar. Natural.

"It's not really worth talking about." Red Son responded after the moment passed. yet he didn't pull his hand away. "I know better than to believe what it had showed me."

"Red-"

"I mean, I SHOULD know better, right?" He looked away from MK then, but squeezed his hand a little tighter. "I mean- they're my parents. and they agreed me coming along with you all to take down the Lady Bone Demon was the best course of action. I know they wouldn't disown me because they believed I was becoming more aligned with you all than with the family. That just because we're friends doesn't mean I'm somehow betraying them!" Red Son was working through it in his head, and he didn't seem to really realize that he'd admitted to seeing MK as a friend, so he just squeezed his hand a little tighter and filed that away to celebrate later.

"It's irrational, and it's ridiculous that I actually feared the idea."

"It's not ridiculous, If you think it's irrational then it probably is, but it's not ridiculous. " Red Son looked back at him then and raised a brow. "I mean, who isn't afraid that they're letting their parents down in some way?" He remembered how nervous Xiaojiao was about the idea of disappointing her family, and he was always worried that he'd disappointed his fath-....

What was he thinking about again?.... right, Xiaojiao and her parents.

Red Son took his attention again and the confusion zipped right out of his mind. he gently detangled his hand from MK's and was moving to stand.

"I suppose you're right. And... In that regard I should probably thank you for allowing me the chance to properly process."

"Anytime, Red."

He stood as well, with nowhere else to go, he supposed he'd probably just go out onto the deck and do a little one-man training, heavens knew he needed it.

Red Son put a hand on his shoulder before either of them could pull away and when he turned back to face the demon-

Red Son was looking at him with intent. determination. And it was only then that MK realized that maybe holding someone's hand while they talked about some Real Shit with you, constantly sitting next to each other so as to be closer, falling asleep on each other, and sometimes when you wake up you glance at their mouth wondering how easy it would be to just...

Maybe that wasn't just all friendship overtures.

And maybe they'd had a name for their little something-or-another already.

Neither of them were ever very good at this whole 'self control' thing anyway.

Red Son was just as warm as he'd anticipated. His calloused fingers hooking under his chin as if to keep MK in place. And it was... chaste. Nothing like the fierce passionate devouring of another's mouth that he'd anticipated a demon to go for (that he'd daydreamed about) Almost... child-like. As if Red Son hadn't kissed anyone since before he hit Demon Puberty and didn't know how to do it right. And the action alone made MK feel very much like a child as well. Which was ridiculous he was a grownass man and Red Son was a fully matured demon, and the shortest most chaste little peck made him feel like a squeaky voiced kid.

When they parted he peeked his eyes open just a bit, and it seemed like Red Son had realized the same thing, the two of them shared a soft chuckle.

But then Red Son started to pull away, and that wouldn't do. MK wrapped his arms around the demon's shoulders and properly kissed him this time.

And it didn't feel quite as natural, but it did feel right.

So that was what mattered.

--

Send me stuff

[enigmatist17]

That Smile (Psychonauts 2)

PSYCHONAUTS 2 SPOILERS AHEAD I played the sequel on launch and have fallen in love with this series all over again, and Raz is still my baby <3 Anyways I may or may not have forgotten to post this, so have at it lol

-----------------------

Agent Sasha Nein was a lot of things, the brilliant scientist who danced around his morally questionable experiments. While many children idolized him from True Psychic Tales, the man was hardly ever approached when a child did actually meet him. The stories never captured his short demeanor, empty smirk when he would casually mention tossing children to a test in his mind, or lab that seemed like it held a lot of dark secrets.

Razputin Aquato was the first one to come back.

The child had caused a stir from the moment he had snuck into Whispering Rock, and after inviting him Sasha had expected the child never to return. Yet Sasha was surprised when he came back from Agent Cruller with his badge, grinning while bouncing in front of the brain tumbler. Raz had proved himself to be among the best students Sasha had ever trained, and it wasn’t until the whirlwind of not only knocking Oleandar back to his sense, and subsequently rescuing Grand Head Zanotto that Sasha had time to think about Raz.

The scientist had never been one for children, as strange as it was for him to be working at Whispering Rock during the summer was. He was more content with his test tubes, blinking consoles, and many experiments that would usually raise eyebrows of those on the ethically moral side of the community. Yet Raz had wormed his way into Sasha’s mind with ease, something that surprised the doctor.

Perhaps that’s why he was currently trying, for the first time in...ever, not to lash out at the newest interns and Raz’s family.

It had been a long day of questioning Loboto, and Sasha had originally set out for some fresh coffee at the lovely time of 2 am. The Motherlobe was quiet around this time, which suited the other just fine as he made his way down familiar hallways. Talking to anyone who wasn’t the few people who didn’t irritate Sasha was hard enough on his good days, doing so after failing time and time again with prying out Loboto’s secret would usually be enough to make him shunt people across the room. However, seeing a tired Raz sitting against a wall across from the intern’s sleeping quarters made him pause and approach the half-awake child.

“Razputin? What on earth are you doing outside this late at night?”   Raz’s eyes shot open, and instead of the usual cherry and awkward explanations Sasha was accustomed to, Raz just sighed.

“I, uh, I got locked out.”  The agent frowned, knowing that part of it was most likely still a hazing from the other interns that Sasha most normally would have ignored. Yet Raz had his family nearby, and this puzzled Sasha as he knelt down beside the child. Raz, after looking into those green goggles, seemed to have sensed what Sasha was going to ask because he just gave a shake of his head. It made sense, Raz probably was not expecting more of his family to come and see their son at the place he had escaped to, which probably added to the stress that radiated off of him in waves. Normally, Sasha would just give a strained pat on the head and quickly escape such a situation, but this time Sasha leaned forward and scooped the child up and into his arms. It wasn’t smooth, Raz jerked his head right up into Sasha’s jaw, and this nearly caused the scientist to fall back, but after adjusting his hold and standing up fully that the two just kind of...looked at each other. Raz looked so confused, suspicious, and exhausted, studying Sasha’s blank face for some sort of response to what he had just done.

“I’m going to get some coffee, and then return to my lab.” Sasha remains neutral as he starts carrying Raz down the hallway, merely adjusting his hold when the child slumps against him moments later. He’s asleep by the time Sasha finishes making his coffee in the cafeteria, letting out soft snores one has to strain their ears to hear if they weren’t a trained agent like the scientist. Sasha watches Raz silently, wondering why this child among the many he had trained over the years had made the agent care for them and their wellbeing. Was it the boundless optimism? The excitement of being allowed to earn a place as an agent? Or was it as simple as Sasha shared so much with Raz, and for once Sasha was branching out to trust and care for the other? It could be one of those things, it could be all of them. No matter the answer, the scientist didn’t much care as he carried Raz to his room to sleep, knowing full well of the interns watching with wide eyes. Raz was gone the next morning before Sasha could speak to him, and he didn’t seek the other out due to his own work.

It’s not until days later after Ford Cruller and the Psychic 6 (or rather 7, not that it mattered) had reunited to help defeat Maligula, did Sasha and Raz have the time. Sasha and Vodello were quietly sitting together on one of the balcony’s overlooking the mountains when the familiar shape of Raz’s balloon interrupted the view. Vodello held her free arm out to Raz, who wordlessly padded over to the agents and allowed himself to be set between them. For a while the three just sat together, watching the sun slowly inch its way down below the mountain line, Raz leaning against Milla while his legs were tucked up under his chin. At one point Sasha had shed his lab coat and draped it over Raz, wild red hair poking out being the only indication someone was underneath the cloth. Vodello was the next to carry Raz inside and to bed, Sasha watching Raz before taking up the couch to sleep that night. Call it sentimentality or intuition, he wasn’t surprised to feel Raz carefully join him on the couch, a quiet sniffle making Sasha gently put his arm over Raz and tuck him close.

“Thanks…” It’s such a quiet and strained voice, and Sasha feels his heart break for the first time in years.

“Sleep Razputin, we will work through this in time.” He can’t promise such a thing, he knows this, but right now he needs to be gentle, so he says them. Raz sniffles against before slowly falling still, and finally sleeps properly for the first time since he stepped foot in Whispering Rock. Sasha eventually sleeps as well, dreaming of future skills to teach Raz and how on earth he was going to break the news to Vodello.

Her quiet laugh in their mental link follows Sasha to sleep, and Sasha smiles to himself as he’s pulled into a pleasant dream.

[footballxixstars]

Hello 💛✨ I hope this message reaches you in good health���� I'd like to request some Memphis fluff? Anything you want but like fluff💞

Day Off • Memphis Depay

Both you and Memphis had the day off so you both decided to have a relaxing day. A day where you would both lounge around in either your pyjamas or loungewear not needing to get dressed for any reason. You would get Memphis off of his diet by getting him to eat junk food which he doesn’t get to eat often because of his career and how he has to stay healthy. He has to stay healthy and fit so he has good eating habits and is very active as well so it’s unusual for him to just stay in bed all day and just sit and relax. It’s always a nice treat when Memphis can eat what he wants without having to worry about it because you feel like you can eat what you want as well. Living with Memphis meant that you were eating relatively healthy as well since you like to eat with Memphis and most of the time you can’t be bothered to make more than one meal so you always eat what Memphis is having and it is nice but sometimes you just want some greasy pizza or something. Finally, though you can.

In the morning Memphis woke up before you and just allowed himself to look at you. It’s rare that he wakes up before you and actually has time to admire your beauty. He usually wakes up first but he has to get ready to go to training so has no time to admire you but right now he does. The way that you look so peaceful when you sleep and let out little snores that he finds adorable. Honestly, how you look so good sleeping he’ll never know. He lifted his hand wanting to run it over your face but refrained himself at the last moment not wanting to wake you up. You weren’t exactly the deepest sleeper so usually, it doesn’t take a lot to wake it up so he doesn’t want to risk it. He knows how hard you’ve been working recently and you deserve a break and as much sleep as you could get. He’s happy with just creepily watching you too.

“Morning,” Memphis said, leaning in to give you a kiss once he realised that you were waking up. He didn’t care about the morning breath that you both had. You’ve kissed enough in the morning for it to no longer bother either of you. You let out a soft hum against his lips in return, still not awake enough to talk. He pulled back from you and kissed your forehead before moving back fully but he kept his hand on your cheek stroking it softly and subconsciously you leaned your head towards his hand more keeping the warmth from it there. Only then did you blink open your eyes allowing the light to take over and his face to come into view. Lazily you smiled at Memphis who smiled back at you. The two of you stayed there like that for a bit just cuddling in bed and Memphis’ hand running over your face and hair. It was like that until Memphis couldn’t stay any longer.

“Come on, let's get some breakfast. I am starving,” Memphis said, his stomach rumbling right after showing how hungry he was. He also instantly rolled out of bed grabbing a pair of joggers and put them on before walking out of the bedroom. You nodded your head stretching a bit trying to wake yourself up a bit more and force yourself to actually get out of bed. You could honestly stay in bed for much longer just laying there until you’re properly awake but apparently, Memphis didn’t want that although you didn’t have anything to do today. To be fair though you do have two dogs to look after and he was hungry so it made sense that he wanted to get out of bed now. Usually, you can’t eat straight away after just having woken up but since it’s Memphis’ day off you can make something like waffles or pancakes and that takes a little while to do especially when you have to make the batter and everything as well. Maybe you’ll be hungry by the time you finish making whatever you make because it’s not like cereal or toast which will be done in 5 minutes or even less it’s going to be something that takes some time. Once having stretched you forced yourself out of bed and grabbed one of Memphis’ jumpers putting that on before making your way downstairs.

Getting downstairs, Memphis was there giving Kleo and Drako some much-needed attention and you could see their tails wagging, obviously excited to see Memphis after being alone downstairs for the night. When they heard you coming down the stairs though they left Memphis and came jumping over to you who instantly dropped to your knees at the bottom of the stairs to cuddle and stroke them giving them some much-needed attention. You did this for a bit before Memphis whistled calling them over. He let Kleo and Drako outside and fed them whilst you looked around for something that you could make for both you and Memphis for breakfast. He deals with the dogs whilst you deal with yourself and Memphis aka. the humans.

“Pancakes?” You asked him as you looked through the cupboards for something to make. You didn’t want cereal having that near enough every day and you have everything for pancakes. You had fruit and everything else to go on them as well so pancakes made a lot of sense. It was also a nice ‘cheat day’ breakfast to have. You heard Memphis say yes so you grabbed everything that you needed and placed it on the side along with the equipment needed. It was easier to get it all out rather than rushing around trying to grab everything as you’re making it. You started making the pancake batter when he placed his hands around your waist and moved so he was right behind you so he could cuddle into you better even if you were still making his breakfast. You were only mixing the batter at the moment so it was fine for him to be behind you and cuddle into you, it felt really nice. None of you should be able to get hurt. It felt nice having his arms around you whilst cooking, it was comforting.

“I love you,” Memphis said into your neck as he placed a soft kiss there.

“I love you too,” You replied before wiggling yourself out of his arms so you could actually start cooking the pancakes because you’d rather not do that with his arms around your waist. You’d rather not burn the pancakes or even yourself or Memphis which would be likely if he was hugging you from behind. He would be distracting you and you’d rather not be distracted when cooking. You need to concentrate when cooking so it tastes nice.

“Can you cut up the fruit please?” You asked him as you flipped the first pancake over to cook the other side of it. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Memphis nod his head and go and grab the fruit so you could focus on making the actual pancakes again. They don’t take long to cook so you have to really focus to make sure that you don’t burn any of them or even wreck them when turning them over. Luckily they seemed to turn out alright. It didn’t take long until the pancakes were all finished and you dished them up onto the table so you and Memphis could eat them together. A mini breakfast date together.

After breakfast was made, eaten and all of the washing up was done, you and Memphis decided to go into the living room to watch a movie and cuddle together. Also, cuddle the dogs and play with them since they also deserve it and who can say no to dogs. They deserve as much attention as Memphis gets, maybe even more. No, the fur babies deserve more attention and more love than Memphis. They are your children after all.

As the day moved on the two of you stayed on the sofa under the blanket cuddling together as movies played on the TV. You had no idea what half of the movies were but you didn’t care not that you were watching much of them anyway. The fur babies were also cuddled around the two of you too and your hand lazily stoked one while Memphis stroked the other so neither felt left out. Honestly, these are the days that you are most thankful for. The days you and Memphis just do nothing and are lazy since you have nothing to do and you couldn’t think of a better way to spend them. What is better than cuddling up with the one you love, never leaving their arms unless it’s for the toilet or to get some food, also having your fur babies cuddled into you and playing with them. This day off was probably the best you could’ve had.

“I love you,” You whispered, placing a soft kiss on Memphis lips who eagerly reciprocated the kiss. You both kept it slow though not wanting to make it quick.

“I love you too,” He whispered back, placing a kiss on your forehead before turning back to the TV.

MASTERLIST | MORE DEPAY

[thebadchoicemachine]

Lark

Heads up: takes place in the middle of a story, like a chapter from a book. really just a character introduction. SO all you need to know is Karl, Quackity, and Sapnap got split into different parts of themselves and Lark had to help manually put them back together while Karl was fixing himself. 

tw, a lot of existential and metaphysical talk. 

----

The three figures stood a ways from him. He watched as they felt themselves, felt each other, hugged each other. He could see them. He listened as they laughed, as relief and apologies seeped from their voices. He knew he could hear them. He observed as they grew closer, as they understood they had seen and felt parts they had hidden from each other. He knew what feeling was. 

Still, he only stood. He could experience that, it had been hours but it still was so odd. That’s another thing, he was aware of time, he understood ‘then’ and ‘now’ and ‘later.’ He knew what awkwardness was as one of the now complete figures caught his eye. (Quackity, he knew he was called Quackity.) He didn’t do anything to shake the gaze, only slowly blinking. Quackity reached over to tap the other (Sapnap) for attention. They leaned over each other whispering. 

He knew Karl. He was- he wasn’t Karl. He wasn’t even close to being Karl but he knew him. He held every thought and feeling he’d had but only in the back of his mind. They weren’t his thoughts or feelings, he just knew what Karl knew to an extent.

He didn’t exactly... know... what to do. He had needed to put Quackity and Sapnap together while Karl worked on unfragmenting himself. That had been simple. A set of instructions driving his movements. A need, a goal, one set for him. Just like always but- no, this was different. This was so very different, he’d never needed to come up with one on his own. He’d never wanted to. 

He could want. 

He’d always had objectives but here he had a desire to complete them. Before he simply... did. It was so strange how he’d attempted to do his purpose. He had needed Karl to understand what he didn’t even understand because he didn’t understand anything until a little while ago. He didn’t know, he just was. He didn’t try, he just did. He had been teaching without even existing himself, no wonder Karl had never caught on! He still had his original purpose but he was so much more than that now. 

He now had words and thoughts and... feelings... he’d deal with that one later. For now, he had to figure out- he needed to- oh, this was so much. He wished he... he... ugh, words were so strange to work with. Even in his mind, the preemptive nature of everything and the blaring constant of hindsight and foresight, it was all at once and yet so much slower. He needed to calm down, reorganize himself like Karl did when overwhelmed. He knew how to do that, didn’t he? 

Find a point to begin thinking. He wanted to have a clear mind. He wanted. He had a will. That was... odd. He was certain he wasn’t capable of that before. He’d always been, of course. Before Karl was even fully tied together at all he had been. He’d simply been something else. Something soft and notional, something abstract and far less... aware. He (in fact, was it even he? He. His. Him. Himself. Yes, he didn’t mind that. Oh. That was weird, being able to mind or not mind something.) 

“Hey!” 

He didn’t jump, although he felt he should have. He had been lost in thought. Huh. That was almost familiar. It reminded him of how he had been before, the way it required much less... consciousness. 

“HEY! Hello?” 

A finger jabbed into his shoulder. Quackity was prodding him while Sapnap peered inquisitively, both studying him with absolutely no idea what they were looking for. Karl stared from behind them, emotions also quizzical but jarringly relatable. He assumed Karl felt similarly to him; after all, they were experiencing the same thing. Meeting each other. Karl, of course, hadn’t needed to understand it while splintered but now- oh right, he experienced time now and had not responded to their addressing of him in the appropriate span. Huh. He opened his mouth to remedy the situation but squeaked, finding himself at a loss of articulation. He had- he knew- how did he express? What was this? His inability to answer made him feel… he felt… oh! Oh, he was frustrated. That didn’t help him at all but it was neat to know.

“What’s da matter with this one?” Quackity demanded, still poking him. “Why hasn’t it gone back into Karl? Is this bad? What do we do?”

“I don’t know. It doesn’t look like it’s responding.” Sapnap loudly clapped in front of him. He felt himself jerk against his will at the smack. What? Why? It was custom and completely expected to flinch at such disturbances but he hadn’t reacted in such ways… yet…

Oh.

Oh, he was aware now. 

Uh oh. Oh. Oh? He was aware of being aware, he had been for hours now, but suddenly it was sinking in. He was aware of how much he took in without being aware of it. Sounds, smells, sights, the feel of the air, it all fizzled around him. He was him. He’d- he’d essentially just been born (even though he’d existed for much, much, longer). Oh wow. He could think, he could truly know, he could understand, he was him. Hmm. Now that he needed to use his newfound ability to think he found it… a lot. 

“Mmmhh,” without meaning to, he let out a light groan. 

“OH FUCK!” Quackity jumped back. “It said somethin’!” 

“What’s with its face? It looks like a loading screen. Is it your skepticism or cognizance or something?” Sapnap turned to Karl, who still mirrored him but seemed to be able to sort his words better. Practice, he supposed. Karl closed his mouth into a small, almost apologetic, smile, and straightened himself. He wondered when he would be able to settle and organize his thought so well. The way Karl was able to back-shelf what was most likely the same, or at least a similar, swarm of thoughts and feelings sparked something of a soft envy in him. 

Karl opened his mouth again, stuttering faintly as he found the words to properly answer. “That’s not me.”

“No... I’m not,” he latched onto Karl’s statement like a lifeline but it barely showed in his, unbroken and unused, monotone voice. He guessed he was… relieved? Was that it? He was relieved they couldn’t see his struggle. 

“Woah,” Sapnap took a step back. He understood. Unlike him and Karl, who were off because they knew they didn’t know, Quackity and Sapnap had zero understanding at all. It was probably bizarre to have him sound and look like Karl yet speak and act with such a desaturated, inexperienced, difference. 

“So... wait- what?” 

“I am not Karl. I am... an ‘other.’ The Other.” 

“Why were you a part of- where did it- he- come from then?” 

“Yeah...” Karl tilted his head, squinting. “Uh, I don’t know.” 

“WHAT?” 

“I mean, I know him, sort of, just can’t... understand it exactly?” 

“I am your other. You’re place in the Inbetween, your existence, is tied with mine. I am something like a loose thread from your tapestry except sewn into one of my own. I know you and you know me, I am a part of you and you are a part of me, but we are not each other. We’re... complimentary in existence.” 

“Huh?”

“What?” 

“I get that... and I also don’t,” Karl frowned, squinting more. “Where did you come from? I know you were always here but now you’re...” he trailed off making a motion with his hands. 

“Uh, forgive me. Words and thoughts are new. I am not- I was not before. Not me, anyway. I’ve existed for a very long time but I was not aware. Being a person is recent. Extremely recent. Like, hours ago recent. The only reason I’m so functional is that I have your understanding to go off of but, clearly, I am in need of experience.” 

“Hours ago... you mean when we split?”

“Yes. My understanding is when you were split all parts of you were completely severed from each other, including me. Had I been cognizant at the time I would have described it as... terrifying. Uh- lonely. We are connected and I had never been not with you. Though, I was not me yet so it’s okay... I guess. Besides, It only lasted a few moments as the Inbetween began to put you back together. When that happened I think it shook something in me, being completely separated and then so strongly reattached opened something. I was rebooted, essentially, and now I have a mind just like you do.” He curled and uncurled his fingers as he spoke, realizing something. “And... my own form? I suppose?” 

“Hold on,” Quackity interrupted. “If youse was- or rather wasn’t, how do you know about before you became aware? Why aren’t you like an infant? At least mentally?” 

“As I said before, I know of everything Karl knows… in a way.”

“What way is that?”

“Uh, I don’t know everything he knows, I don’t have a copy of his mind or anything, but I know of everything. As to how I remember when I didn’t have a mind? I don’t know exactly. All I can say is it’s like remembering thoughts from when you were asleep. Not a dream, just when you’re collecting moments but not awake. Does that make sense?”

“Uh, not really, but carry on,” Sapnap shrugged. “What are you?” 

“Uh, okay… let me… make words. Hmm, so, imagine if your shadow or reflection came to life. It’s not you, right? It’s not you at all, you are completely separate things, but there is still such a strong association. I am Karl’s reflection.” He looked towards the reflective walls and pointed at the lack of him and Karl. “I am literally Karl’s reflection. I am not only that but that is how I manifested before (and still do, I guess).” 

“Woah,” Sapnap whispered as he realized the lack of reflection. 

The four stood in silence for a moment. He blinked, waiting for a response but got nothing. Was this his first awkward silence? Huh. It felt much less than he thought it would, although he might just still be numb in terms of reactions. Maybe they were just waiting on him? Was it his job to break the silence in this situation? He shrugged internally, he might as well try. “Well, that’s mostly it. I’m here now. Hello.” He gave a light wave. 

“Wait, so what are you?” 

“I just expl-“ 

“No, no, no, I get the metaphysical stuff” Karl waved dismissively “but you’re not just my reflection. You’re... a part of me like you said before but I’m not just a part of you. You have something else going on, right? What were you before now? What are you? Or, I guess I’m asking ‘why’ are you. I feel like- I know you have a purpose that isn’t just being the opposite of me.”

“Right!” His eyes lit up, remembering an old goal. He needed to correct Karl, to get him to start functioning the way he was meant to. “I am not your opposite! I am your inverse. I do the work you do not, as you do the work I do not.” 

“Huh?” 

“The reason you were- well, you weren’t really created. That would imply some kind of intent that was not there. The role you were evolved to fill. To collect, to round, to fight and stabilize the contents I protect and care for.“

“Contents?”

“Of... everything. There are- I- I- cannot think of how to- you’ll have to excuse me, I just became less than a day ago and have, without hyperbole, all of existence to explain. I am not used to using words. Or understanding. Or even knowing really. I was a concept with just a driving force and now being able to want and understand when I fail and it all.... oh. Yeah. I’m struggling.” He stumbled back, feeling lightheaded. The reality of it all would not stop crashing over him. It was very inconvenient and uncomfortable and he would very much like for it to stop. 

He must have visibly paled because the others immediately began showing concern. “It’s okay! Calm down a little, let’s talk about something else. Don’t strain yourself,” Sapnap pleaded. 

Quackity looked like he was getting ready to catch him, as if he was going to faint. “Yeah, like, um, why was Karl made alive but you weren’t?” 

“Oh,” he snatched onto the change of subject, thankful. He did not want to keep experiencing being overwhelmed. “Karl wasn’t made anything.”

“Wait, huh? What does that mean?” Karl asked, almost offended in his shock.

“You weren’t supposed to be a person. As I said before, you weren’t ‘created’ exactly.” 

“Uh, what? I’m not... supposed to be me? A person? I’m like, broken because I’m self-aware? That’s messed up.”

“No, no, that’s not what I mean. You weren’t supposed to be anything. Person, not person, a force, an object, an animal, there’s not exactly anything wrong with you. In fact, you function perfectly it’s just your instinct was overshadowed by your mind.”

“Function?”

“You developed to fix a problem. It doesn’t matter what you are the same way it doesn’t matter what color trees are, so long as they make oxygen to support their ecosystem. So, no, I don’t think you were intended to be a person but you weren’t intended to be anything else, either. You can’t really be flawed when there was no plan to begin with.”

“Wh- s- are you saying I- me, Karl, as myself, a person with thoughts and emotions and a will and mind of my own, my existing was an accident?” 

He tisked his tongue. “Uh. Yes.” 

“Wow.” Karl took a long breath. “Wow.” 

“Are you upset? You shouldn’t be, everything in the universe is incidental, there’s no real plan except everything’s function to thrive. Wills are superficial to existence and meaning. Heck, I’m an accident you just caused!” It was true, his current existence as he experienced it was completely incidental! He very well could have just not been the way he is. He could have, so simply, never existed. Ever... oh. He shuddered, checking existentialism off the experiences he’d had and shoving it away with iron force.

“No, I’m not insulted or anything, it’s just- wow.”

“Yeah. That’s fair I guess. Anyway,” he lightly clapped his hands together. If the conversation was over then he should leave, right? That was the correct thing to do? He didn’t want- he didn’t want to think about wanting. Or not existing. He would just leave. “Quackity, Sapnap, nice to meet you and all your sides. I guess we had a more intimate introduction than most, what with me explaining my entire existence and you being divided into the rawest versions of yourselves. Karl, I already know about you. Um, Goodbye.” He held up his hand and began to walk towards the reflective walls.

“Hey, wait!” Quackity grabbed his shoulder. He stopped, waiting patiently.  “What... are we gonna see youse again? What’s da deal now that you are what you are?” 

“Now? I will go adjust. You will most certainly see me again, yes. I want to stop wanting for now, everything is a lot of things. Goodbye.”

“Okay, bye, but... what should we call you?” 

That caught him off guard. He took a step away from the wall, frowning. “Call... me?”

“Oh yeah! I assume you don’t just want to be referred to as ‘Not-Karl’ or something. Do you have a name?” Sapnap stepped up. 

“Uh...” His brow furrowed, eyes darting around slightly. “I haven’t... thought about that...” A name. Huh. It hadn’t even crossed his mind. 

“Do you want to pick one out? We can help, I chose my name based from one of the first worlds I ever visited. Since there’s no one here, we could list some and you could see if you like any?”

“Um,” he frowned. That didn’t sound very appealing. “I don’t think I want to choose one from someone else’s. I don’t have many opinions on sounds yet so picking one based on phonetics feels... wrong.”

“That’s okay, and you can always pick another one later.” 

“I guess so.”

“Something more personal based then?”

“That’s tricky, we don’t know much about him yet,” Quackity pointed out. “He don’t even know much about him.” 

“What about-“ Sapnap spoke up. “You said you were the ‘inverse’ right? What about that? Or Mirror, or Reflection, or Other.”

He shifted, frowning. “It’s correct,” he started “but it’s kind of like calling you ‘demon.’ More of a title or description, not really a name.” 

“How about Lrak?” Quackity suggested. “It’s Karl backward.” 

He made a face. “I think I’ve just got my first phonetic opinion. I do not like how that sounds.” Not to mention it was a little... obvious. He didn’t want to base his entire newfound identity around not being Karl, although Karl was a big part of him. He wouldn’t mind paying homage. In fact, that did seem like a good place to come from. He wasn’t Karl but he also wasn’t not Karl. Hmm. He looked back up, getting better at tuning in and out on purpose, to find them chittering off ideas. “Hey,” he interrupted. “What about Lark?” They stopped and turned to him. 

“Lark?” 

“It’s... an anagram of Karl,” he tilted his head, not looking at anything, just thinking “but it’s also its own, despite and including its origins. Lark. What do you think?”

“Hey, don’t fuckin matter what we think,” Quackity snapped, almost accusatory. “What’s important is how youse feel. Do you like it?” 

He was a little taken aback at the aggressive support. It was true though, he realized, none of them should get a say. It wasn’t that he was trying to please them, he simply didn’t have a strong opinion on much... but he could. It dawned on him he could have all the care or apathy he wanted. “Lark,” he said the name aloud again, rolling it across his tongue, focussing on feeling, comprehending that he could feel. “My name is Lark. My name. Is Lark. Yes. I... I like that,” he smiled. 

“Hurray!” Karl grinned before gripping him into a giant hug. 

He screamed, unprepared for the contact. He could feel his heart was beating against his chest as Karl frantically set him down. “Ah- uh- It’s okay,” he reassured him. “I just- my reactions have broken in, it seems.” 

Karl chuckled, apologetically brushing off his shoulder. “Sorry. I’m just really happy for you, man. Is- is it man?” 

“Man is fine,” he shrugged. “I am like you.”

“Great,” Karl grinned swinging his arms slightly. “I- I’m just stoked you’re something- someone I can talk to now! I mean, you’ve been around forever, but I had no idea what you were. I still don’t, I guess, but this is...” he laughed, gesturing between them.

He, Lark, smiled. He smiled a big, wide, voluntary, and genuine beam for Karl. He felt it too. There was a connection between them that, while it had always been there, hadn’t held any connotations. Now that he was him though he found it was warm and reassuring, familiar and sporadic. It was a part of him. It was a part of them. He didn’t know much about himself yet but he knew that was a very good thing. 

“Lark, I gotta say, having known you literally all my life,” Karl stuck out his hand. “It’s nice to finally meet you.” 

Lark looked at the hand and cocked his head, blinking. He reached out to take it and pulled Karl in for a (much softer than before) hug but one that still surprised Karl. “...It’s nice to meet you too, Karl. Really.” He felt fuzzy inside as Karl softened from the shock and gently put his arms around him. They stayed together for a beat, it was a wonderful moment to live in. For the first time in his life, short as it had been so far, Lark experienced gratitude. It was nice to meet Karl. It was nice to have a name. It was nice to... be alive. He blinked rapidly, a little confused at the stinging in his eyes. Oh. Tears. His eyes were watering from emotions, that was definitely new. Eventually, Karl gently pulled away.

“So,” he said tenderly, eyeing Lark up and down. “You’re my reflection, huh? Heh, does that make me yours?” 

It was a joke but... “I’m honestly not sure how to answer that. In a way, no. But- I- it’s confusing. I have things I want to explain but don’t understand how yet. In time, I guess. Perhaps with examples. For now though, if you’re my anything, maybe we could be each other’s... um...” he paused, searching for a word that described them. “Brothers? If you want?”

“Lark,” Karl’s tone was suddenly and unnaturally serious. “Do you have any idea what you’ve just said to me?” 

“I- I think? I asked if you-“

“I WOULD LOVE THAT SO MUCH,” he yelled, grabbing Lark by the shoulders with a jolt. “YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THAT MEANS TO ME. YOU’RE SO SMART AND AMAZING, I’M SO HAPPY TO HAVE YOU NOW, I DIDN’T REALIZE HOW MUCH I NEEDED- I...” he sniffled, laughing. “I have a family!” 

He did. Lark grinned, letting him keep his iron grip on his shoulders despite the physical discomfort. It was prodigiously outweighed by the joyous emotions surging through and filling the air. Karl had a family and... so did he. 

“AW-!” 

A sharp wail shattered the moment. Lark and Karl’s heads snapped towards the other two they forgot were there. Quackity had tears streaming down his face, while Sapnap was biting his knuckle, eyes also watery, having had been the one to cry out. 

“Uh- are you guys... alright?” Karl cautiously held out his hands in comfort. 

“Y-yeah! It’s just- that’s- you guys are so sweet.” Sapnap threw his hands up to his face. “This is such a happy moment, I’m so happy for you. You guys found each other after coexisting for so long but never knowing- I- I’m a sucker for family, okay? It’s in my culture. Don’t judge me.”

“Uh-huh,” Quackity nodded, drying his soaked face with his sleeve. “It’s not like we’s crying or nothing.” 

“Aw, you guys...” Karl gave both of them a hug. 

Lark waited until they finished to speak. “Well, for real this time, I think I need to say goodbye. I apologize for rushing away so bluntly. I didn’t realize then... even just in the past few minutes I understand so much more. This has been a lot, as you can imagine, for my first day of cognizance and I would like to take some time existing. Karl, you have a purpose. A role to fill in the universe. Also, I have no idea how to explain it to you.” 

“Oh.” 

“Seriously, it is a miracle I was even able to introduce myself. I genuinely almost passed out a few times during that conversation. Just from the weight of comprehending my own existence. Please understand that, in a sense, I am only a few hours old.” 

“But you sort of existed before me so you’re also kind of older than me, right?”

“Yes. It is hella weird. I wouldn’t worry though, your design is built into you, like how animals are wired to hunt whether they’ve ever seen prey or not. For now, I am off to go get better used to... being, I guess. I intend to continue to experience people, I think I find it much more than just knowing of them. It was... genuinely... very nice to meet you all.” Lark held up his hand in a farewell gesture, waiting to leave until the others returned it, waving and shouting goodbyes and good lucks. 

He smiled as he faced the empty reflective surface. He had no idea how good ‘good’ was. He’d known about the warm feeling inside from Karl but now he had experienced it. It was such a difference he’d never expected... not in all of the (maybe seven? eight?) hours he’d been alive. With one final breathe and thought and feeling, Lark stepped into the Otherside.

[subarublue]

Mornings Are the Best Series - Part 2

Series Description: You’ve always been a morning person. The quiet as the sun rises, the coolness of the crisp morning air, the smell of coffee brewing; it’s always been your favorite time of day.

Dante however, is not a morning person. But being with you might just be enough to change his mind.        

One Shot

Title: Pizza for Breakfast

Fandom: Devil May Cry

Timeline: Not specified

Rating: Teen

Pairing: Dante x Female Reader

Word Count: 3475

Read on Ao3

Summary: Lady says it’s ridiculous that Dante would even eat pizza for breakfast. Unfortunately for her, there’s someone who likes spoiling your boyfriend a little too much: You.

Notes: My local fuel station makes a really good breakfast pizza and I was having a slice the other day and thought, “Dante would totally appreciate this kind of thing.” Thus this was born.

You stood in the kitchen, admiring the breakfast you’d just finished putting together, proudly.

Dante’s gonna love this! you thought with excitement. You’d never made one before, but you had always wanted to try it out. You’d decided after some searching, to not use a recipe and try just winging it yourself. So far, it looked as though everything would turn out perfect. Now you just had to bake it.

Figuring you could clean up the mess you made in the kitchen while it was baking, you popped it in the oven and set a timer. As you started on cleaning up, you wondered idly if you should have waited until a bit later to make it. It wasn’t even quite nine o’clock yet and you were sure Dante was still asleep.

He hadn’t had a job last night, but that didn’t mean he hadn’t stayed up late. He was more of a night owl, after all. Considering devils and demons tended to show up more often at night, it stood to reason. You had been in bed and were well and fast asleep whenever he’d decided to join you, so you figured he would probably try and sleep in late.

Which was a problem today, actually. He may not have had a job last night, but he had one this morning; one that Lady of all people had hired him for help on and you knew she wouldn’t take kindly to him not being ready when she showed up. That’s why you’d decided to try making this breakfast this morning. You were hoping it would help to coax Dante out of bed early enough that Lady wouldn’t want to shoot him first thing.

I guess we’ll see how that goes.

You had just finished cleaning up and noted that there was some time left, so you decided you should try and wake up your sleeping devil. You double checked on the breakfast in the oven and seeing that it was coming along nicely, made your way to the front of the shop to head upstairs.

You had barely taken that first step up the staircase when the front door swung open suddenly and Lady strode into the building. She took one look at Dante’s desk, then noticed you on the stairs. She gave an exasperated huff. “Let me guess…still asleep?”

“I was just about to go and try to wake him up, actually.” You stepped down off the stairs to face her properly as you talked.

“Well good luck with that. If you need it, I’ll gladly help out.” The shameless grin on her face told you exactly what she planned to do to ‘help out’ and you couldn’t help but let out small laugh at Dante’s unknown expense.

“I think I’ve got this. I’d rather not spend the day trying to get all the blood out of the sheets.”

“Understandable. Just know that I won’t wait long for his lazy ass to get up. We’ve got a job to do.” Lady was smirking, a promise of pain to come if Dante made her wait too long.

“Oh, don’t worry. If all else fails, I’m sure offering him some pizza will get him out of bed.”

Lady’s smirk fell and she rolled her eyes at that. “Seriously?”

“Hey, if it works, it works. You want him up, don’t you?” You simply shrugged. Dante’s eating habits weren’t exactly healthy, but you figured his half-devil metabolism more than made up for it.

“Yeah, yeah. It’s just ridiculous that that idiot would even eat pizza for breakfast. I can’t believe you actually let him.”

“I’m his girlfriend, not his mother,” you replied simply, “And while I admit he doesn’t always act like it, he is a grown man. He can make his own decisions.”

“That idiot better know how lucky he is to have you.” Her comment had you both laughing a bit now.

“I’ll go see if I can get him out of bed at least. Can’t guarantee how awake he’ll be, but I’ve got something that should fix that if it’s a problem.”

You made your way upstairs then, leaving Lady to wait at Dante’s desk. Shouldering the bedroom door open when you reached it, you smiled fondly at the huge lump in the bed in your shared room. The only indication that it was your boyfriend in that bed was the silver mop of hair peeking out from the top of the sheets.

You took a seat on the edge of the mattress and decided to see if waking him gently would work first. If not, you’d work your way up from there. You pulled the covers down away from his face and were met with no reaction; not that you’d expected any from just that. It did give you a good look at his sleeping face though, which you took a short moment to admire.

His hair was a bit mussed from sleep and any hard lines on his face were softened in his relaxed state. He was snoring softly, unaware that you were sitting right next to him. Which was actually weird because you figured for someone who was half-devil and had incredibly heightened senses, it would be easy for him to feel you there right next to him, asleep or not.

But Dante definitely loved his sleep, so maybe that was why. You were certain that nothing short of a serious emergency could wake the man you loved easily, so you set about getting started, hoping this didn’t take too long. You’d hate for him to eat lead instead of the special breakfast you’d made him.

“Dante? Hey, Dante? Come on, it’s time to wake up, babe,” you called gently as you rocked his shoulder a bit. He groaned a little, but made no other indication that what you’d done had any effect on his slumbering state.

You’d hoped this would be easy. After all, he knew about this job even before yesterday, so he should have been prepared for it, but no. This was Dante after all and he was the king of ‘winging it.’

You decided you needed to get a bit more forceful with him, so you sat up on your knees on the mattress. Using your whole body weight and steadying yourself with your hands on his shoulder, you bounced up and down on the mattress. That got a reaction.

Immediately he groaned again and his hand shot out, grabbing you by the waist to stop the incessant bouncing that was disturbing his sleep. You’d thought you had him at that, but as soon as it was clear you’d stopped, his hand simply dropped and he hadn’t even opened his eyes at all.

You gave an indignant huff at that and immediately started rocking his shoulder repeatedly while you let out a loud whine. “Dante! It’s time to get up! If you don’t, I’m gonna stop being nice about it!”

This time the reaction you got was verbal. “You call this bein’ nice?” His voice was slurred, a bit heavy with sleep, and even muffled slightly by the pillow his head was currently half-buried in, but you heard him nonetheless and huffed again.

“You don’t want to see me not being nice.” Your menacing comment was overshadowed by your playful tone, but it at least got him to peek one eye open to look at you sleepily. It didn’t last long, though.

“Just five more minutes, babe.” And with that his eyes were closed again and he stuffed his face straight down into his pillow.

Seriously, how could he breathe like that?

“You know I would love to let you sleep for five more minutes, but Lady’s already downstairs waiting on you and I’m sure she’s pretty trigger-happy right now,” you warned.

You barely heard his reply as it was completely muffled by his pillow. It sounded a lot like an exasperated, “Oh, duck,” but you were one hundred percent certain that was not what he’d said. Still, it had you giggling. At least he was coherent enough to know that if he didn’t get up there would be trouble. That was promising.

“Come on, babe! Don’t blame me when she comes up here shooting up a storm.” You tried to shake him fully awake by shoving his shoulder roughly, but considering how much bigger he was than you, he barely budged. He did turn his head to the side so his face wasn’t stuffed into his pillow anymore and his eyes were open now, at least. He was still pretty bleary-eyed and you couldn’t help but think how adorable he looked right now.

“You mean you won’t protect me from her?” He was trying to give you the puppy dog eyes now, and while that usually worked miracles for him, you weren’t having it this time.

“Sorry, baby. You’re much better at taking bullets than I am.” You laughed as he groaned and rolled his eyes, full well knowing what Lady would do if she got impatient enough, but still not caring as he just took his pillow and covered his head as if it would block out the rest of the world without fail.

You finally decided it was time to play your trump card. Nothing else had worked so far and you didn’t want to wait and see how long it would take for Lady to get that impatient.

“Besides,” you said as you leaned over him to lift his pillow up a bit so he could hear you better (not that he couldn’t hear you regardless). Your voice took on a singsong rhythm at your next statement, “~I’ve got a surprise in the oven for you.~”

He peeked out from under his pillow at you, his curiosity peeked. “Oven? You baked something?”

“Yup! And I’ll give you a clue what it is: It’s one of your absolute favorite foods!”

He immediately perked up at that. There was a brief pause in which you could see the gears turning in his head, probably trying to decipher in his sleepy haze if it was pizza or a strawberry sundae, until he finally likely settled on pizza because why would you put ice cream in an oven?

“Oh, hell yeah!” He practically jumped out of bed in his enthusiasm and you had to dodge out of the way since he almost bowled you over. He paused halfway to the bathroom, seemingly remembering you were still there and backtracked over to you giving you a quick peck on the cheek. “You’re the best, sweetheart!” Then he was gone again and before you knew it the bathroom door was shut and he was yelling through it, “I’ll be down in a minute!”

You giggled at his antics and decided to make your way downstairs, so you could pull his breakfast out of the oven before it burned…and before Lady got tired of waiting. You saw her at the base of the staircase as you left the room and headed down. Clearly you’d gotten him out of bed just in time.

“I take it he’s finally up?” Lady was eyeing you hopefully, though whether it was hope that Dante was awake, or hope that he wasn’t so she could really shoot him you weren’t sure. Luckily, you wouldn’t have to find out this time.

“Yeah, he’s up. But he’s gonna want breakfast before he leaves.” You watched as Lady rolled her eyes again.

“Let me guess: pizza, right?”

“Yup! There’s plenty so if you want some too, you’re more than welcome to have some,” you offered. Dante always loved your cooking, so his opinion was more than a little biased, especially since you were his girlfriend so you thought it would be a nice change to see what someone else thought of it.

“No thanks. Pizza for breakfast isn’t really my style. I prefer a real breakfast. You know, like eggs and bacon or biscuits and gravy or-” Lady paused when telltale sound of a timer rang out through the shop.

“Then this just might be right up your alley!” you said cryptically as you made your way to the kitchen. Lady, now curious as to what you meant, was hot on your heels.

She watched as you shut the timer and the oven off, then grabbing some oven mitts, proceeded to pull out a very yummy smelling pizza from the oven; however, it didn’t quite smell like a normal pizza, nor did it look like one.

She was about to ask when Dante chose that very moment to waltz into the kitchen, now totally awake and apparently very ready for his surprise pizza breakfast. Before he could even get a word out though, he took one look at it and blinked, tilting his head as if he wasn’t sure he was seeing it correctly. This wasn’t exactly what he thought of when you’d said ‘pizza.’

There was definitely crust and cheese, but the sauce and other toppings were not at all something he or Lady had ever thought about putting on a pizza. Instead of a regular pizza sauce, sausage gravy was barely visible through the toppings and said toppings consisted of more sausage, scrambled eggs, bacon, and of course, cheese.

“Babe...what is this exactly?” Dante questioned as he stared at the ‘pizza’ you’d made him. He didn’t sound disgusted or put off at all, merely curious. You’re cooking was always top notch so he was simply surprised since it wasn’t quite what he had expected.

“This is a breakfast pizza! Trust me. You’ll love it!” you said as you cut the pizza and pulled a piece off to hand him.

Dante didn’t waste any time in taking a bite as Lady watched on in curiosity. The minute he tasted it his eyes lit up and before he was even done chewing he was yelling, “Hell yeah! That hits the spot!”

You giggled as you tried to hand him a plate, which he ignored in favor of grabbing another slice with his free hand, then he made his way out of the kitchen to sit at his desk while he ate. Placing another piece on the plate Dante hadn’t taken, you held it up to Lady for a final offer.

“Sure you don’t want to give it a try?” You waved it a little in front of her, as if that would entice her to take it.

Surprisingly, she relented and took the plate from you. “Oh, why the hell not? If he’s raving about it this much, can’t be anything but good, right?”

You smiled brightly at her, getting another plate and a piece for yourself. Then, picking up the rest of the pizza, you brought it out of the kitchen and set it down in front of Dante on his desk as Lady followed behind you. Dante had already finished his first piece and was halfway through his second.

“Well, I guess the one good thing about this is he won’t take long to eat it.” Lady said as she watched in mild amusement as your boyfriend stuffed his face. Her amusement fell though, when he immediately grabbed a third slice upon finishing his second. “Unless he eats the whole damn thing by himself. Geez.”

“Guess you’d better hurry if you want more, ‘cause I ain’t saving you any!” He taunted back.

“I’m sure one piece is more than enough for me,” Lady said as she took her first bite.

You waited in anticipation for her verdict. Dante was easy to please so long as there wasn’t any olives in whatever you made him, so you really wanted to know what someone else thought of your new concoction, especially since you hadn’t followed a recipe.

As she chewed you watched her expression change from neutral, to surprised, to very pleased. “Alright! I admit it: this is pretty good,” She said as she took another bite.

You smiled brightly, happy that Lady also liked it as Dante grabbed yet another slice. “Then I hope you’re happy with that one slice ‘cause you probably ain’t getting any more!”

“I already told you one is enough for me!” Lady shot back and you watched them with a smile on your face as they bickered a little back and forth.

When Dante had finally finished his breakfast (and you and Lady as well), he got up from his chair to get ready to head out. “Nothing like a great breakfast made by the best girl in the whole world!” he proclaimed as holstered his twin pistols.

“Are you finally ready to go now?” Lady said in mock annoyance, but it was easy to tell she didn’t quite mean it. Good food almost always has ways of improving anyone’s mood.

“Yeah, yeah. Hold your horses. I’m coming,” he said as he met her at the door. But then he suddenly looked like he just remembered something he forgot and turned back to you sitting on his desk next to the last, single slice of breakfast pizza. He strode back over to his desk and Lady groaned about the fact that he was going for another slice. But instead of stealing that last piece, he cupped your face and stole a kiss instead.

It would have been the sweetest thing too, except for the fact that he didn’t stop and you knew why. He dragged the kiss out, slanting his lips against yours again and again, as one of his hands left your face to wrap around you and pull you closer. He wasn’t keeping it chaste at all. Not that he was prone to do so normally, but you had an audience this time; an audience he was now purposely trying to irritate at the moment.

You registered the incessant tapping of Lady’s boot on the wooden floor in the back of your mind, but really it was a faraway thing to you with Dante’s tongue currently making love to your mouth. It wasn’t much longer though, before she’d finally had enough of waiting for the morning and made it known. “If you two are done sucking face, we do have a job to get to, Dante.”

He didn’t react immediately, and by now you were vaguely aware that he was treading a very thin line, but after a moment he finally pulled his lips away from your own, albeit slowly. He licked his lips, keeping his face close to yours as he admired the pretty flushed color of it and his breath when he spoke, brushed over your lips ever so gently, “Thanks, sweetheart.”

“You’re welcome, babe.” You replied with a sweet smile as he straightened up and turned to flash Lady a roguish smirk.

“Get your ass in gear before I shoot you,” she said, shaking her head as she turned to open the door.

Dante started to head after her, but only got a few steps before stopping and turning around one last time. You heard Lady scream his name this time, and you were certain he’d get shot, if not now, then maybe later ‘by accident’ while on this job.

He gave you one last small peck on the cheek, said a quick, “Bye, baby,” and snatched the last piece of pizza from his desk before hightailing it out the door after Lady, whom you could see fuming in exasperation at your boyfriend.

When Dante turned to close the door behind him, he flashed you a quick smile and a wink, to which you called out, “Don’t get shot now!”

His face immediately fell and he groaned dramatically as he closed the door, the barest hint of a smile making its way back to his face just before you lost sight of him as the door shut.

That would have been the end of it, except that the loud bang of a gunshot reverberated through the area, followed by the familiar sound of your boyfriend’s yelp. There were a few moments of silence while you assumed he was recovering, then you heard a very distinct and indignant yell of, “MY PIZZA!” which he had apparently dropped on the ground after getting shot.

You couldn’t stifle the laugh that tumbled out of you at that and what followed was a slightly muffled argument between the two that you couldn’t quite make out through the closed door. Suddenly though, it was Lady who was now yelling, “DON’T EAT IT OFF THE GROUND! THAT’S GROSS!”

Which was followed by an equally loud reply from Dante of, “WHAT’S GROSS IS WASTING THIS!” Dante then started vehemently raving about your cooking and how it shouldn’t be wasted as their voices faded, indicating they were finally leaving.

You figured he probably wouldn’t shut up about your cooking all morning long and you almost felt sorry for Lady about that...

…Almost.

← Part 1 • Part 2 series • Part 3 (WIP)

[writing-gifts]

datura (moth!bruno x butterfly!reader)

—–

A/N: a pretty chill chapter!

First Chapter || Previous Chapter || Next Chapter

Reader is gender neutral!

—–

[Early Winter]

The first few days at Bruno’s home are disorienting. Your sleep schedule was already poor for a diurnal creature, but staying with the moth was pushing it one step further to full nocturnal. Even when you would try to sleep at night like you were supposed to, the sound of Bruno and Narancia moving throughout the house would sometimes wake you up.

Along with that, where Bruno’s home was located and because of the weather, daylight felt like it lasted a tick within the actual span of the day. You could see but it felt darker than your home on an overcast day. So even though you naturally felt more alert in the day, there was always a tiny feeling of needing to go to sleep within you.

On the brightside, you could spend more time with the moth this way. It had only been a few days but the both of you had gotten closer--in the non-platonic sense--ever since you kissed. You loved it and sometimes it felt too good to be true. But at the same time, even if you try to push it down, you still feel unsure. What exactly were the two of you now? You were partners, right?

You had to be. Now that the fully platonic barrier was gone, you both were always touching. Whether it was holding hands, cuddling or just leaning against one another. And between the flirty quips and the teasing looks, you would kiss...a lot. It was nice.

While thinking about this, you stare out the bedroom’s small window as you lie in bed. Only your face is exposed in the blanket cocoon you put yourself in.

Today you had woken up while there was still light out but were reluctant to actually get up. When you first woke up you literally felt like you couldn’t, but now suddenly the bed felt too empty. And the small image you see of the snow piled up outside makes you rethink staying in bed. It must have snowed a good amount while you were asleep.

You yawn. Abilene momentarily pops into your head and you wonder what they’re up to. They were definitely up way before you that’s for sure. You hope they were keeping extra warm.

It takes a moment but when you finally force yourself out of your covers, you immediately think to go outside. In fact, the alluring and bright beauty of the snow almost has you running out of the house completely unprotected from the cold. You barely stop yourself and head back into Bruno’s room to grab one of your blankets and put on a pair of shoes.

After slipping the simple shoes on, you let your wings droop so you can wrap the blanket around yourself.

You head back to the main room and quietly open the door to avoid waking up either Bruno or Narancia. Walking out, you shut the door behind you. You had barely been outside since you arrived here so it was nice to get some fresh air.

Shuddering the moment the cold hits you, you wrap yourself completely with the covers and take in your surroundings. The snow had piled up a good amount, And you wonder if Bruno had moved the snow out of the way earlier since the ground in front of the door lacked any.

You climb up the small slope of snow to get a better view. Everything felt brighter with the fresh layer of white everywhere. You even found that you could see farther into the distance between all the trees.

For some reason you get the urge to touch the snow on the ground under you, but immediately pull your hand back when you feel a sharp chill shoot up your arm. Snow was pretty to look at but not nice to touch which you already knew, but every year you’d find yourself making the same mistake. However, you were still hoping to eat ice cream later in the season.

You wander around a bit in front of the house before stopping in a spot where more light manages to break through the bare branches of the trees. It must get extremely dark in this area when the trees are full of leaves.

Time escapes you and you don't realize how long you’re outside until you try to move your leg and your knee is almost locked in place. Your eyes widen and you immediately shuffle back to the house with your stiff limbs, almost slipping down the slope in the process.

Once you’re inside, you accidentally bump the door closed too loudly with your body but continue to awkwardly move forward.

So cold, holy crap! Need more covers.

Before you can even leave the main room Bruno walks in. His eyes immediately take in your strange stance and he gives you a confused look..

You'd jump if you could. “Y-You're awake?”

“I had a feeling I heard the door close shut.”

You internally sigh at your carelessness.

“You're shivering really bad. Are you okay?”

"I m-m-might have gone outside f-f-for a tick or m-more."

Bruno gives you the most exasperated look you've seen in awhile before pinching the bridge of his nose. But right after, he reaches out towards you.

“Come here.”

You move towards him and he leads you over to the giant open space in the middle of the main room and gently prompts you to sit down on the rug.

"Be right back.”

You rub your legs and try to bend them as you wait for the moth to return. When he does, he has many of your blankets and pillows within his arms. You watch as he unfolds a few of the covers on the ground which you crawl onto while he places the pillows against the front of the couch. Once the moth’s done, he sits down and motions you over so he can pull you against him. He then covers you both with the rest of the blankets before leaning back against the pillows.

“Is this okay?”

“Y-Yea.” You felt less cold but it might take more time for your body to warm up to a comfortable temperature.

Suddenly Bruno’s body begins to vibrate rapidly.

“W-What?”

He rests his head in the crook of your neck. “This will warm you up a little quicker.”

“Oh, o-okay.”

You both sit there for a while and the vibrating starts to lull you to sleep. The combined warmth of his body and sweater was just too cozy for you, and you weren’t going to try to keep your eyes open if you didn’t have to.

You wiggle in Bruno's arms and the moth gives you a questioning hum.

“Just changing positions. I feel like I’m going to fall asleep on you any second…”

You turn so you can properly lay against Bruno's chest and press your face against the fluff around his neck that was sticking out from his sweater.

So soft.

Bruno’s arms close around you again once you're situated and you sigh. It was partially one of content but also a bit of uncertainty. You wouldn't say you weren't enjoying this but you still had that one worry in your mind.

You lightly play with his fur. "....Are we doing this as friends?"

You knew what you were saying was absolutely ridiculous but you weren’t sure how to ask what you wanted without sounding awkward. Where did both you and Bruno stand after that kiss? You’re enjoying how much closer you two had become over the last couple days but you need a straightforward answer to completely relax.

"____."

"Yea?"

"I need to tell you something--"

Before Bruno can finish, Narancia suddenly runs into the room. He yells before jumping onto you which forces a grunt from your throat. He was definitely heavier than you look.

Bruno looks down at his son. "Narancia why did you do that?"

"I wanna be--I wanna join too!"

You move from your comfortable position so the little bee can properly lay against you. “At least I'm fully awake now.” You yawn. “Kinda”

Narancia looks up at you. “Are you guys married now?”

You almost choke on your own spit from the sudden question. Well you couldn't blame him. You and Bruno weren't exactly conspicuous with your affections.

You look at the moth and he answers for you. "Well we aren't married but, maybe one day. If ____ wants to."

You struggle to keep yourself from gawking.

The bee nods in understanding. You wish you could accept things as easily as children did.

You want to ask Bruno to further elaborate on that but Narancia starts an enthusiastic conversation with you about flowers. The bee wasn’t able to visit them on his own yet but he seemed quite excited too.

“Do you have any favorite flowers Narancia?” you ask.

He mules it over for a moment. “I like the big ones.”

“Like a sunflower?”

He tilts his head. “What’s that?”

You raise a brow a bit surprised.

“There's no sunflowers around here,” Bruno chimes in.

You nod. To find them you have to go to an open field, so there must not be any nearby. And you remember Bruno saying that carrying Narancia could be troublesome.

“How about I take you to see some in the Summer? They love the sun, hence the name. But you have to promise you won’t move too much when I carry you okay?”

God forbid the bee managed to squirm out of your grip.

The bee nods enthusiastically.

All three of you keep one another company in your pile of blankets and pillows. But eventually Narancia starts to get restless from listening to you and Bruno talk about “boring adult stuff” and runs off to his room.

You lay on your stomach on the ground and look at Bruno. You can tell that the moth was ready for bed.

"You can go to sleep, you know."

"I’m not that tired--" he yawns.

"Sure you're not."

"Well I am but I want to spend more time with you."

You weren't completely used to such sweet words so you aren't able to respond right away.

“...I do too, but I’m going to be here after you wake up. Unless I go to sleep right after.”

“I’ll try to wake up in the afternoon before that happens,” Bruno says. He leans over and presses kiss on your cheek.

You lay there once Bruno leaves and you feel yourself drifting off until Narancia runs in with a container of blocks to play with you. It mainly consisted of you trying to build something and the bumblebee knocking it over though.

You spend up until almost noon playing with him and trying to keep him entertained. At that point he wants to go outside, which you were honestly hoping to avoid but you suck it up and agree.

After dressing yourself up properly, making sure to protect your hands and layer up, you help Narancia dress himself too before heading outside.

You hug yourself as you watch Narnacia run around and play with the cold snow. He squats down and makes a small pile from it before turning to you.

“Let’s make a snowbug!”

Oh jeez.

Even though you rather not mess with the snow after your brief contact earlier today, you nod. It would be fun. Probably.

You ignore the cold of the snow through your gloves and help Narancia start the head for the snowbug before you move on to rolling up the body. Once Narancia is done with the head he helps you with the body.

After moving the body to a good spot, according to Narancia, you move to find the head but can’t.

“Narancia where’s the head?”

“There...” he points to a weirdly shaped pile of snow on the ground.

You walk up to it and raise a brow. “Um...What happened to it?”

The bee looks off to the side. “I tried bu’ it wasn't round. An’ when I tried to fix it, it fell apart…”

You nod, “That’s okay let’s remake it now.”

You help start it again and have the bee roll it up again, coming in to help when necessary so the shape would stay spherical.

“Okay now roll it closer to the body so I can put it on top.”

Once Narancia rolls it over, you pick it up and place it on top of the body. The snowbug is now at least a head taller than the bee.

“Now we decorate it.”

“Can we pu’ a scarf so he won’t be cold?”

You chuckle a bit. “Sure. Do you have an extra one?”

The bee nods before running inside. While he’s gone you look for something you can use as the arms. While you're looking, Narancia comes back with a white scarf speckled with blacks dots.

“That looks good, help me find something for the eyes and mouth too!”

With that Narancia runs back inside.

You keep looking around and find some long dead grass sticking out of the snow next to the trunk of a tree. You go over and feel it. It was hard and thin so you surmise that it’ll be good for the arms. You yank out 2 pieces and break each one in half to create 4 arms. You also grab another one to make the bug’s antenna.

After sticking the arms in the body of the snowbug and the antenna into the top of the head, Narancia finally returns.

“Here!” He holds out something in his little hands to you.

“Thanks--Wait these are my buttons.”

The bee smiles at you and you shake your head but take them to create the face of your snowy creation. Slightly crouching, you grin a bit at the different color buttons making up the eyes and smile. It was kind of cute.

“I wanna pu’ the scarf!” Narancia exclaims.

You lift him up so he can better reach the neck area and he wraps the scarf around the snowbug.

Afterwards, you back up a bit to get a good look at you and the bee's creation. “He came out pretty good!”

“His name is Jon!”

“That’s a good name Narancia.”

And he smiles even wide at your praise.

You hug yourself and rub your arms. “Okay let's go inside, I don’t think my limbs can take anymore of this.”

-----

When Bruno and Narancia were asleep you'd spend most of the day working on some type of clothing. Your main focus was Bruno’s top though since you didn't want him to see it before it was done. You had been nervous to start on it but you didn't want to be stuck making little squares forever.

You hold out what you had so far in front of your lantern. It was barely anything and you had spent so long on it. You weren’t even sure if you wanted to put sleeves on it or not either…Other than the color you had pick--black--you weren’t really sure about anything.

"What are you making?"

You bring the lace close to your chest before turning towards the moth behind you. “Nothing!”

"Is it another top? It looks really intricate.”

You ignore the moth's curious tone. You mentioned making a top for him offhandedly but you wanted this to be a surprise more than you wanted to show off.

“It's nothing. You really need to stop sneaking up on me.”

"Okay mio amor keep your secrets."

Bruno smiles playfully at you but you just pout and put the lace out of sight in your satchel. It was getting dark anyways and your eyes were starting to hurt

You turn your attention back to Bruno. “What’s up?”

"I saw that Narancia is still in bed, and I was wondering if you want to read with me? If you're not tired that is."

“Oh that sounds nice!” You get up to do a couple stretches since you've been sitting down for so long.

"What are we reading? A romance?"

"Yeah, Abilene actually lent it to me."

Your smile becomes slightly tense knowing how some of the stuff they read could…get. Hopefully it's nothing too out there.

Bruno places the lantern a bit closer to the couch before making himself comfortable and beckoning you over. You decide to sit next to him but the moth looks at you.

"It would be easier to sit on my lap you know?"

You laugh a bit awkwardly from not sitting there in the first place but move onto his lap.

Bruno opens the book and you relax into his chest. The warmth coming off his body has any tension leaving you.

"How are you so warm all the time? It’s too relaxing..." You rub a hand against the soft wool of his sweater’s sleeve. For a split moment you think about cuddling up to him when you sleep in bed.

Bruno places an arm in front of you. “As long as you're comfortable.”

“Yea, but I don't want to drift off too quickly.”

The story starts off relatively normal, and you and Bruno quietly read together while you silently signaled when he could turn the page. But as you get further the expected supernatural elements kick in. You almost want to cover your face at the more explicit parts but push through genuinely invested in the plot.

Suddenly, you burst out laughing. “Abby why?”

"What?” Bruno asks. You seemed to have surprised him with your laugh.

"It’s just that this is so ridiculous. I still like the story but come on!”

Other than the transformations and dead coming alive, the miscommunication seems almost fantastical. Looking from the outside in, it seemed so easy to avoid.

“It’s a little frustrating isn't it.” Bruno says.

You hum. “Yea but I can't pretend I’m above it though.” It made for good drama and interesting situations.

As the two of you continue the book, you end up moving positions multiple times. And by the time you're really struggling to stay awake, you're almost laying completely on top of the moth.

Your head rests against his chest as he reads outloud to you since you were having a hard time keeping up with the words.

Bruno softly touches your back. “____?”

You grunt, half awake.

“Are you still listening?”

“...Yea, the mantis is about to risk a one night stand with another cannibalistic mantis.”

“...What?”

“Oh wait, maybe I half dreamt that.”

Bruno closes the book. "Okay, we are going to bed."

"Nooo, I don't want to move."

"We can't sleep on the couch."

You pout but reluctantly get up from your comfortable spot on the moth to make your way, along with your lantern, to Bruno's room. Once you're there you immediately place the lantern down and flop on top of the bed.

Bruno comes in a moment afterward.

"Don't you want to change into something more comfortable?"

You half reply mumbling something incorrehent.

Bruno sighs and walks over to you removing your scarf off your neck. He then carefully helps you out of your sweater struggling a bit to get your wings through since you won't sit up.

"I'll just leave the rest of my stuff on."

You crawl up farther into the bed before getting under the covers and resting your head on your pillow. You then watch Bruno fold up your clothing before placing it on top of the dresser. Before he can leave the room though you call out to him.

Bruno stops at the door frame and turns towards you in question.

“Um, are you going to bed?

It was quite late. So you would probably end up sleeping until late morning the next day.

“Not just yet but you don't need to worry and force yourself awake tomorrow. I'll just sleep in Narancia’s room until you wake up.”

“Well…”

You struggle to finish your sentence though. You want him to stay but was it okay for you two to share the bed already?

You barely dwell on that question though.

Who were you kidding? You didn't care if it was appropriate or not. You didn't want to sleep alone. And there was no point forcing Bruno into Narancias room when his giant bed could easily fit the two of you!

”I want to share...the bed,” you mutter quietly.

Bruno’s brows raise. “Sorry mio amor can you repeat that, I couldn't hear.”

You give him an unamused look when you realise what he’s doing, but he simply smiles and waits patiently for you to repeat yourself.

“I want to share the bed with you!”

“Oh, that's what I thought I heard just wanted to make sure.” He walks up to you and presses a kiss to your furrowed brow and you immediately relax your face.

The moth makes his way over to the floor length mirror and you watch him take out his hair clips and undo his braid.

“Your hair looks nice like that you know.”

“Really?” His fingers comb through parts of his hair.

“Yep! You look cute.”

He removes his fingers from his hair. “Well I guess I can leave it like this for now then.”

Bruno goes to take off his sweater and you immediately look away, but then you remember that you have seen him shirtless for most of the time you’ve known him. Something about this felt more private though.

“What’s wrong?” Bruno asks when he sees you looking off to the side quietly.

You struggle to explain though.

Realization dawns on the moth though from your few mumbled words and he chuckles. “You're so cute.”

“I know, I k--wait no, I thought you were going to say something else...”

Once Bruno gets in bed, you reach up and twirl some of the wavy strands of his hair as he looks down at you from his sitting position.

“____ I need to tell you something.”

You hum dropping your hand and doing your best to keep yourself from falling asleep just yet.

“I know it's not very romantic. But I guess when I’m with you I feel a little more impulsive. I really like you, and I want us to be together….as mates.”

That gets rid of some of the sleepiness you feel and you feel your face getting hot.

“I should have said this sooner. I don't want to pressure you into anything--”

“Bruno I've been all over you since I got here, you would definitely not be pressuring me.” You sit up. “I--I’m actually really happy! I really like you too! It’s dumb but, I’ve liked you for so long--”

This was the first time you'd seen the moth look flushed and it was sight to behold. A giant part of you already wants to cause it to happen more.

Bruno gently grabs your hand when he realizes you're looking at him and clears his throat slightly before smiling at you.

“Now I’m kind of curious mio amor. How long, if you don't mind me asking?”

You grimace a bit looking away from the moth. “It’s kind of embarrassing...But kinda first sight. I thought it was a silly crush that would go away but it just got more intense. It got really bad in Fall.”

Bruno massages the back of your hand with his thumb.

“What about you?” you ask.

“I’m not exactly sure when they started but I realized I felt feelings that were different than platonic in Fall after you got hurt.”

You nod. Part of you wonders how Bruno reacted when he found out what happened from Abbacchio, but most of you was okay with not knowing.

“...Now I have to give that season more credit.” You give the moth a small smile which he returns. “I’m glad that's out of the way now. Now I can clearly call you my mate.” You giggle, feeling a little giddy.

You can't keep down the smile on your face even if you wanted to.

“Ready for bed?”

You nod. “...You can shut off the lantern if you want.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yea, I know light like that can be distracting to fall asleep too.”

Bruno shuts your lantern, and you find yourself not minding the dark so much when he pulls you into his arms and you stare into his glowing eyes.

Your fingers feel at the soft hair at the back of his neck. Apparently, you couldn’t stop yourself from playing with his hair. “Are you even tired Bruno?”

“Not really but that's okay, I just want to lay here with you.”

Your chest thrills from the words. “...How do you say things like this so easily?”

“There’s no shame in what I feel for you. And I want you to know these feelings.”

You yawn and shut your eyes. “I...I hope I can be more like that...one day.”

“Well, you did ask me to get in bed with you.”

“But...that was so...hard.”

“We just got together so give it some time. And either way, you show you care in your own way.”

The moth presses a quick on your lips and you sleepily grin.

“Goodnight ____.”

[vaguely-concerned]

The Mandalorian S2Ep2 reactions

- I’m not an arachnophobe, but I can imagine this ep wasn’t much fun for those of us who are, I’m so sorry you guys

- I have never vibed with a character more than with Din when he said “Am I under arrest?”. I, too, am that level of exhausted. the ‘I guess this is happening but you literally cannot force me to have an emotion about it’ tier of tired

- much like the second episode of the first season, this second episode wasn’t about anything as trivial as plot development or starting a new arc; as every episode of the Mandalorian should be it’s about Din Djarin having a very bad no good horrible day that only keeps escalating on him and him being low-key exhaustedly bitchy about it while also stumbling through being a single dad, and I for one am living for it

- what did I tell you, they WERE saving up those dad & baby interaction resources for other episodes! a blessing 

-when baby cuddled up to his dad for the nap... the fact that as din sleeps he unthinkingly turns towards the baby a bit so that he’s basically shielding him with his body...... BABY’S LITTLE HAMMOCK IN THE SLEEPING COMPARTMENT DFHSDKJFHSDJKHFSKDJHF

- I’m choosing to believe din kept his armour (BOOTS INCLUDED) on while sleeping because he needed to be ready at a moment’s notice and because his hypervigilance won’t let him relax without it while there’s someone other than him and the kid around, not because that’s what he usually does, because that’s one level of crazy too far

- god, I love the razor crest so much, what a precious beaten up hunk of junk it is. din really pulled the ‘my car is too old and shitty to need plates’ and has gotten away with it for so long

that entire conversation was pure gold, honestly, up to and including the way he just went quiet for a few seconds upon realizing the game was up and then sent the whole ship into a sudden nose dive fshadfhsa. (that’s my preferred way of ending conversations too din it’s okay) the way you could see mando get tenser and tenser but there was also an underlying tone of comedy to it? exactly the sort of thing I was ready for today, tense but bizarrely funny is the mood of the hour (din IS pretty damn good at flying though! I wonder who taught him)

also they played the kuiil music while din was working to fix up the ship ;______;

- I’ve seen people say din needs to feed this baby properly (and it is very funny) but honestly din seems kind of surprised/taken aback at just how hungry the kid is all the time now, so I’m wondering if he’s actually in the beginning of a growth spurt or his brain is doing a lot of developing? we hear him get much closer to active babbling in this ep, I think his big lil force vibin’ brain needs a bunch of nutrients because it’s g r o w i n g 

- I like the way this show tackles star wars language barriers and the ways they can be solved, and not only because it’s hilarious to watch very talented actors belt out a series of unnatural noises with straight faces (well, straight helmets in din’s case I suppose) 

- I will reblog every single gifset of baby running towards his dad and being picked up safely. I will tattoo that shit on my heart.  

- Stop Giving Din Djarin Serious Head Trauma Challenge 2020 (he was passed out for long enough that frost had started to form on his helmet???? That is NOT good for you!!!) 

- Frog lady using the corpse of Zero to communicate... perfection, but also why the everloving fuck did Din keep that fashfklahsd 

my man, your life choices

- "if you put one mark on him there's no place you will be able to hide from me" ooooooooh it’s the way he doesn’t even raise his voice, it’s not a threat, it’s just a straightforward statement of fact in his normal soft voice and it’s all the scarier for it

- local dad gets unkindly shaken awake from much-needed nap three separate times, does not deserve this, let him rest

- new republic dudes showing up like ‘don’t worry we’re the chill police. haha get it? ‘cause it’s an ice planet but also we’re (somewhat implausibly) letting you off the -- anyway have fun trying not to freeze to death lawl latrz’  

- some people seem upset that this is basically filler, and I sympathise with the distress but also... this is the ‘cheerfully wallowing in filler’ show. that’s like half of season 1 too. (personally I find that mix of old fashioned case of the week and slice of life thing they’ve got going on very charming and calming, but of course that’s down to taste. I’m in no hurry to get where we’re going, and I’m glad the show doesn’t seem to be yet either)

also I do think this ep is doing some thematic things with parents and children that might make more sense when you see the season as a whole -- you have mando with the baby and frog lady with her babies-to-be up against the big fuck-off spider with its fucking army of spiderlings, there’s something going on here with the empathy and recognition that the love you feel for your child is mirrored in another person’s love for theirs (I really liked that din and frog lady protected each other’s kids as well, just very wholesome and nice... except those eggs eaten by yodito I guess. uh well it’s not a perfect metaphor I suppose lol) 

- *the razor crest barely limping through space with loose parts dangling everywhere and sparks flying from places they definitely shouldn’t*

me: :’) that’s my dad’s car you guys

- mando’s flamethrower REDEMPTION! a time it was fully 100% useful! I’m so proud of it

[25centsoda]

An Unintended Side Effect, Part 2/?

This time when Luke woke up his mind was clear and the Force came readily when he called. He breathed deeply, savoring the clear connection to the energy of the universe for a moment before drawing shields tight around himself, ensuring Vader couldn’t reach him. He sat up, scrubbed his eyes with the heel of his hands, and sighed, looking out over the room.

He really was stuck on the Executor with his father, wasn’t he?

Well. Nothing for it. He would have to find a way to escape, as soon as possible. He had friends and a Rebellion to get back to, after all, and he would not turn to the dark side.

Luke stood and stretched, again noting the lush carpet and wondering just how out of it he’d been the previous day to not have noticed where he was immediately. Now able to actually process things, he took in the room properly. Deep red carpet, grey durasteel walls, no closet that he could see but three doors broke up the monotony of the walls, along with...was that…

Luke crossed the room in wonder, staring open-mouthed at the view of the stars outside his viewport. A viewport, in starship quarters!

After admiring the view for an indeterminate amount of time, Luke mentally shook himself and went to explore the rest of the room. On a small nightstand by the bed he hadn’t noticed before was a chrono, brightly declaring the time and date on its face. Luke grimaced. Two days since he’d seen his friends, what they must be thinking about his disappearance… Had they seen Vader take him? Or did they think something else happened to him?

One of the doors led to ‘fresher, fully stocked with anything he could need, plus water settings in the shower. He looked critically at the long handle on the shower door; could he rip that off and use it as a weapon? Something to come back to later. Maybe the mirror shards would make good improvised weapons as well, if it came to that.

The second door led to the closet he’d been looking for yesterday, but of course instead of Rebel fatigues it was filled with black outfits, both with and without the Imperial cog stitched to a sleeve or breast pocket. From here Luke took a pair of boots - new ones were hard to come by, in the Rebellion, best to take them whenever you can - and a belt with weapons holsters.

The third led into a hallway, which ended in another door. Luke looked back to the door he came from; looked like it could be locked from the outside. Lovely. He tucked that piece of information away, resolving to escape the ship before it became something he had to work around.

The door at the end of the hallway opened as he approached, into a larger room containing a couch and desk, lots of open floor space, and another door with a large keypad next to it, the small light on top glowing firmly red. He couldn’t quite get that open on his own, it was too complex a mechanism to tease open with the Force without knowing anything about how it was supposed to work - likely Vader had deeply considered the place he was going to stash his son - but he could sense the energy of two Stormtroopers just outside it.

Banging on the door, using the Force to make each blow as loud as possible, Luke shouted, “Hey! Please, I need help!”

“Quiet in there,” came the reply.

“Please!”

Luke could only hope Vader had given them instructions to keep him not just alive but well, otherwise this wouldn’t work and he’d have to try something else.

His suspicions were confirmed moments later when the door slid open to show two Stormtroopers as expected. He smiled.

Perfect.

---------

Vader kneeled before a hologram of the Emperor in his private chambers.

“And the boy is cooperative?” the Emperor asked.

“Yes, master. At the very least, he has not yet opposed me.”

“Hmm. Ensure that he does not. Remember that you have already failed to bring him to heel once; I will not be so forgiving of another failure. Next time, the boy will come straight to me, and I will put him to rights.”

Vader strengthened his shields and held himself still, even as Palpatine’s words brought a most unwelcome image to his mind. His anger blazed, and he fed the flames behind his shields, vowing to never let Luke near Palpatine if he could help it. In this the son would not follow the father; he wouldn’t allow it.

“I understand, my master.”

“Good. I’ve allowed you to keep the boy, but you must not neglect your duty to wipe out the rest of that pathetic rebellion.”

“They shall not be a plague on our galaxy for much longer, master.”

“See that they aren’t, Lord Vader. Dismissed.”

The hologram winked out and Vader stood, wincing at the strain holding such a position for long periods of time caused his prosthetics. He ached for the day he could give the empire he’d built to his son, but they were in no position to attack Palpatine yet. That day would have to wait until he could find a way to train his son without the Emperor finding out, for he had no doubt that as soon as they began Palpatine would find an excuse to spirit Luke away from him, preventing them from joining together to defeat him.

Stalking out of his rooms into the hallways of the Executor proper, Vader found Piett and said, “Admiral, report.”

Admiral Piett snapped a salute and fell into step with his commander. “My lord, we will be arriving at Tarra soon to refuel. All aspects of the ship are running smoothly, and after refueling we should be en-route to Coruscant within the cycle.”

“And what of my...guest?”

“The last report I saw some fifteen minutes ago said all was quiet on that front, my lord. He’s not been an issue.”

As soon as Piett finished speaking, the hum of stun shots echoed down the corridor along with aborted screams. Vader threw his awareness out in the Force, seeking his son’s bright energy, but it was like looking at the surface of a lake in the sunlight; the image shimmered and flickered away from him, impossible to make out. He cursed and began moving quickly - not running, Sith Lords did not run - towards the quarters his son was housed in. The boy could hardly have been awake much longer than an hour, how could he already be causing trouble?

By the time Vader arrived at the door outside his son’s quarters, the boy was already gone, leaving both troopers who had been posted outside collapsed on the floor in his wake, presumably the recipients of the stun shots he’d heard. He growled low, the vocoder in his suit picking it up as crackling static, and tried to reach for his son again. This time, he was able to pick up a sense of the boy in the vague direction of the hangars. Of course he would immediately try to reach the ships.

Suddenly Vader remembered the ship was about to dock at a planet, and his heart seized in fear. If Luke was still loose when that happened, he would actually stand a chance of getting off the ship.

“Lock down all hangars, no one will leave this ship until I give the order,” Vader said into his comlink, moving to follow the faint light of his son’s Force signature.

There is no escape, my son, he sent along their fledgling bond. He felt Luke flinch in response, and smiled in satisfaction under his mask. The boy’s shields had slipped just enough in that flinch to give him a better location.

“Send a detachment of troops to Hangar Bay Three, and have them set their weapons to stun. A prisoner is loose; he cannot be allowed to escape.”

Vader strolled into the aforementioned hangar bay, casting his awareness out, scanning the room for his wayward son. The boy’s shields deflected his senses, but it was that refraction of light that gave him away, a distortion in the Force in a corner of the hangar.

“It is no use hiding, young one,” he boomed. “Come out before I am forced to stun you.”

The spot of refracted light in the weave of the Force shifted, drawing tighter about itself, but it was no use. Vader had already located it.

He motioned to a small group of troopers, directing them to surround the crate that Luke was hidden behind, and they took up positions in a loose semi-circle, guns aimed at the crate.

After a moment, Luke emerged, scowling, his hands behind his head. Without a word, two troopers surged forward and none too gently dragged his hands down behind his back, clasping his wrists in binders. He purposefully avoided his father’s gaze as he was marched back to his quarters. Vader watched him go.

----

Luke broke out of his quarters twice more, managing to disable the lock on his door, and after the sickening way the boy’s head hit the durasteel floor collapsing from a stun shot the second time, Vader decided he couldn’t take any more risks.

His son was a lot quieter and easy to contain with a drug tailor-designed for Jedi coursing through his veins, living in Vader’s quarters.

-------

Luke was falling asleep again, leaning against his father on the couch as various Imperial servants flitted about the room taking his measurements, proposing outfit and fabric ideas. He tuned them out. Vader was just going to choose what he felt was best anyway, and Palpatine got final say. Luke had picked out several of the main fabrics. That was enough.

Without realizing it, he had fallen completely asleep. When he woke, it was to Vader gently pulling him into a sitting position and beginning to apply a thick white powder to his face. Luke blearily looked down at the table filled with cosmetics, then tried to lean his head on one hand, but he was prevented from doing so by Vader pushing him back up.

“You’ll smear the Nubian makeup, Luke,” he chided.

Luke made a face at him. “I wouldn’t be so tired if you didn’t keep drugging me, father. Either let me sleep or let me think clearly.”

“It’s this or giving you to Palpatine for training, my son, and neither of us want that for you. Especially in light of your many failed escape attempts.”

Luke made another face, then an effort to sit up straight and stay awake. At least being paraded around as the Imperial Prince sounded like a cushy job…

“Why am I being styled after the Naboo, anyway?” he asked, hoping a conversation would help him stay awake. Vader paused, frozen, and Luke could just pick up the edge of a maelstrom of emotion from his father before the Force slipped from his grasp again and he sighed quietly.

“It was your...mother’s home planet.” Vader said carefully. “As well as Palpatine’s. He believes using the style will serve to endear him to the galaxy, and use you to evoke his own image.”

Luke hummed, closing his eyes for a minute. Vader prodded him gently with a tendril of the Force and as he opened his eyes again Luke thought longingly of being able to do more than passively sense it, himself. He would throw all this finery about the room and steal a ship, return to Han and Leia and Chewie, R2 and 3PO.

Deciding he definitely needed something to focus on to keep himself awake, Luke tried to reach out to the Force himself, clumsily brushing against his father’s signature. He felt the edge of his father’s amusement and Vader reaching back to him in response, like holding their hands up to opposite sides of glass.

“My Lord, you are needed in a meeting about introducing the Imperial Prince,” Piett said, shattering Luke’s meager focus. He sighed and gave up, leaning his head on a hand while Vader too distracted to tell him not to.

“Why?” Vader demanded, standing. “He is to be announced in a few hours, what more is there to discuss?”

“There are some last minute security concerns they want to go over, my Lord.”

Vader scoffed, then looked down at his son for a long moment, thinking. Looking back at Piett, he said, “I leave you in charge of the boy, Admiral. Stay here with him and ensure he does not attempt another escape.” Piett seemed like he very much doubted that would be a concern, but nodded anyway. To Luke, Vader said “I will return as soon as I can and help you finish getting ready, my son.”

“Whatever,” Luke said.

With a sigh, Vader swept out of the room.

[taehyungs-perm]

strawberry girl pt 3

taehyung x reader; college au; childhood best friends to lovers au; jock!fratboy taehyung

genre: fluff; major angst lol

word count: 11k

summary: i can pretend i don’t miss you. i can pretend i dont care. all i want to do is kiss you. what a shame you’re not here.

Part 1 here ; Part 2 here; part 4 here; part 5

playlist vibes

best friend | rex orange county

heather | conan gray

jocelyn flores | xxxtentacion

ivy | frank ocean

pretty little fears | 6lack

best part | daniel caesar (feat h.e.r.)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Every muscle in your body ached as you tried to shift in your bed. Your head felt like it was splitting open from the massive pain. You peeled open your eyes that felt like they were glued shut. Every neuron in your body was sending the message “go back to sleep” but the hurried whispers in the room forced you to slowly open your eyes. It felt like you were experiencing a fever dream because you were not fully processing anything due to your half opened eyes and the massive pain coursing through your entire body.

You managed to make out Hana’s face hovering over you. Her eyes were filled with concern, “I don’t know what to do. She’s been like this all day. She hasn't moved at all and I’m pretty sure she’s been sleeping the entire time.”

Another voice whispered hoarsely, “Should we call an ambulance or take her to the on campus nurse?”

“I don’t know but she doesn’t seem sick, ya know? I think she’s probably just exhausted. She was running around like crazy this entire week.”

You shifted your body to see who the other voice belonged to.

“She’s awake!” the hoarse voice exclaimed.

The sight of his curly hair and big brown eyes made your heart feel like it was going to explode.

“Tae,” you sighed in a daze. You thought you were in a lucid dream so you reached out and grabbed his hand. It felt warm and comforting. You pulled him closer so you could snuggle against his arm.

You heard Hana’s voice. “She’s been saying your name all day. Did something happen at your party? Did you do something to her?” she said, accusingly.

“No! Nothing happened! She was totally fine the entire time!” he said defensively. You couldn’t fully concentrate or focus on anything but you thought you saw a blush rising on Taehyung's face.

He leaned in and you could smell his soap as if he just showered. He put his other hand against your forehead, “She’s a bit warm, but nothing crazy. Maybe she’s exhausted but someone should probably stay with her until she properly wakes up.”

You felt a spine tingling shiver coarse through your body. “I’m so cold,” you whispered, trying to curl in your blankets.

Hana’s eyebrows wrinkled in worry, “I gave her all my blankets already.”

“Here, wear this.” Taehyung pulled his arm away from you and he peeled off his gray hoodie, leaving him in a plain white shirt.

He handed it to you but instead of putting it on, you brought it up to your face and inhaled the smell of Taehyung in the sweater. It smelled so comforting. You wrapped your arms around the sweater and pressed your face against the soft fabric. You felt your head pounding again so you slowly closed your eyes, drifting off back into a dreamless state.

You felt your eyes open comfortably what seemed an hour or so later when the sun rays peeking through your blinds became too bright. You shifted in your bed and grabbed your phone. 9:57.

You yawned and stretched. The sound of your movements shuffled Hana and she sleepily glanced over at you. Then she immediately shot up in her bed, “Oh my god! You’re finally awake!”

You were confused, “What are you talking about?”

“_______, you literally slept for more than 24 hours.”

You looked on at your phone. It read monday. You slept all through Sunday. You were still groggy, kinda delirious from sleeping the most you had in your entire life, “Wait did I wake up at any point?”

“Yea, you were kinda in and out of consciousness. But you woke up slightly at one point.”

You rubbed your forehead with your head. Wait so that dream about Hana and Taehyung wasn’t a dream? “Hana, don’t tell me that my fever dream of you and...”

She chuckled nervously, “Sorry _______. That wasn’t a dream. He was really here.”

You closed your eyes trying to remember what happened but you were so sure you dreamt all of that.

You looked around your bed and saw his sweatshirt by your pillow.

“You’ve got to be fucking with me right now.” You groaned. Why did the thought of Taehyung cause sadness to bloom in your heart? What happened before you went to sleep? You were trying to think properly, but Hana interrupted your thoughts.

“You were so out of it. I’m sure he doesn’t think anything of it,” she said trying to calm your nerves.

Even though you couldn't recount what had happened on Saturday night fully, your “fever dream” was clearly printed in your mind, “Hana, I grabbed his hand. I took his sweatshirt. You told him that I said his name in my sleep.”

“It’s okay! He literally doesn’t care. He’ll just be happy you’re okay.” Hana said getting up from her bed.

You were massaging your temples because your head ached still.

“I’ll be right back okay? I’m going to get some food with Jungkook and I’ll bring you back some. I’ll stop by the pharmacy to get you Tylenol. Drink some water and freshen up.” She put on her shoes and waved bye.

The room was silent and you felt like you could breathe. Your mind was still reeling from sleeping for a long time so you were trying to recollect what happened the past couple of days. Then it all hit you at once. You remembered the night. How you came back to your room and sobbed until you couldn’t cry anymore. Until your eyes were puffy and bloodshot. God, you were a fucking idiot. Taehyung was bringing back the feelings that you tried so hard to forget. You tried your best; you put up walls for so long so your feelings didn't get hurt again. But it happened. You let your will slip. He was breaking your heart once again and he still didn’t even know

You didn't want to admit anything to yourself. All you knew was you were feeling like you didn't know what the fuck you were feeling.

The rational voice in your head kept poking your thoughts, “Why were you so sad? Why did you care so much?

You didn’t want to think about those questions because you knew the answer would scare you. You just knew you didn’t want to see Taehyung any time soon.

He obviously doesn’t give shit about my feelings so why the fuck am I letting it hurt me so much?

Suddenly, the door of your dorm room swung open and there was a panicked Kim Taehyung standing there.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” you mumbled underneath your breath so he couldn't hear.

He raced over to your bed and you wanted to crawl away so desperately. You couldn’t help but feel your heart skip a beat when you saw his huge innocent brown eyes, his messy curly black hair, and his matching black and white pajamas.

He held your hand gently in between his two large ones, “Are you okay? How do you feel? Did you eat anything?”

He was out of breath as if he raced to your dorm. He continued, “I came here as soon as Hana told me you were awake.”

You slid back into your blankets so you could hide yourself,“I’m fine. You can go now,” You said softly.

“I can’t leave you. At least not until Hana comes back.”

“Taehyung, I’m fine okay. You can go,” The words came out harsh. You hadn’t really acted this cold towards Taehyung since the beginning of your college friendship.

You tried to avoid his gaze but you caught his eyes, “__________ are you mad at me? Did I do something?”

The words got caught in your throat. You held back the tears that were welling in your eyes. You steadied your shaking breath, “I’m fine Taehyung. Hana is bringing me food and medicine. Just go.”

You could clearly see the hurt in his eyes. You feel like a complete jerk for making him sad. Even though you’re the one who cried yourself to sleep over because your heart was in so much pain.

He nodded gently and left before saying, “Just let me know if you’re feeling better.”

You leaned back on your pillows, releasing a heavy breath. You were so emotionally drained. No wonder I slept for over a day. You didn’t know anything about what you were feeling but one thing was clear: being around Taehyung was a lot fucking harder than you thought.

As you relayed last night's events in your head, you tried to understand why you were so hurt. Nothing made sense and your head started to pound again. The door clicked open and thankfully it was just Hana.

“Hey, how are you feeling?” She said carefully as she entered the room with a couple of paper bags in hand.

The tears that were building up from the moment you saw Taehyung came bursting out.

“Oh my gosh, ________ what happened? Are you okay?” She dropped the paper bags, shocked at your sudden burst.

You tried to wipe the tears from your face, “I dunno what’s going on with me. I just...”

She rushed over and sat on the side of your bed, “What happened?”

“Why am I so sad Hana? Why am I crying over Taehyung? I don’t like him. I don’t care about what he does.”

She rubbed your shoulders, pulling you in for a hug, “Oh ______, I know why.”

You looked up at her, through your teary eyes, “Please tell me. I’m so fucking confused.”

“You like him ________.”

You blinked at her and moved away from her, “No, I don’t.”

“Yes, you do. That’s why it’s hurting.”

“No, Hana I don’t. I fucking told you I don’t, so just listen to what I’m saying.”

“I know _________ you’re scared. You opened your heart to him and you got hurt. And you’re afraid to do that again.”

“I didn’t just get hurt. It fucking destroyed me. It hurt me more than you could ever imagine.”

“I know and I’m sorry that happened. But you can’t control everything in your life. You can’t convince yourself that you don’t like him.”

“I’m not convincing anyone of anything. I don’t like him. I don’t care, I'm not thinking about my feelings or about him. We’re friends.” You controlled your breathing and wiped the tears from your face, “I don’t know why I was so upset. Taehyung and I are just friends and I don’t have feelings for him.”

Hana sighed in disappointment.

You took a deep breath and made up your mind: you weren’t going to let this affect you. It was simple, just keep your distance from Taehyung and don’t be sad about things that you truly shouldn’t be upset over.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You tried to avoid Taehyung as much as possible without it being completely sus. He had been texting you asking if you were feeling better and you responded with simple answers like “I’m fine” or “I just was exhausted.” However, the last thing you wanted was for him to confront you about your unusual behavior so after not seeing Taehyung for 4 days straight, you knew you couldn’t avoid him anymore.

“Taehyung, I told you, I’m studying. I’m trying to be productive so I can come to your game on Saturday.” You huffed over the phone when you finally caved and answered his call.

“Okay why can’t I just study with you? I’ll meet you at the library,” he whined.

“I’m not at the library,” You said flatly.

“Where are you then? I’ll meet you there!” Taehyung said pleadingly.

God he was relentless.

“I’m studying in the science hall. 7th floor towards the windows.” You said, giving up.

“Bet. I’ll be there in five”

Why did you tell him where you were? You were such a simp for Taehyung, and it was honestly going to cost you. At least this floor was empty so Taehyung couldn’t get distracted by anyone who passed by.

You went back to doing your chemistry assignment on acids and bases. You hadn’t realized Taehyung arrived until he sat down on the sofa next to you, the familiar scent of his cologne wafting your way.

“Wow, I had no idea this existed,” Taehyung said, stretching out his arms.

You briefly glanced at him. He was wearing a black sweater with light brown slacks,  “What? The science hall?”

“Okay I’m stupid but not that stupid. I just haven’t been past the first floor.” He took out his laptop.

“Taehyung, I’m not sure why you wanted to come. I’m just doing homework.”

“Because I like watching you do homework.”

You turned to him and wrinkled your forehead in confusion.

He laughed nervously, “I mean like you’re always so focused and driven when you’re doing work, it makes me want to try harder and do my work. And I’m trying to focus on school and being around you motivates me.”

You turned your head quickly towards your laptop so he couldn’t see the blush on your cheeks, “Well good. Because we are going to be productive today.”

You two continued to do work in silence, with only noise coming from the clicking of the laptop keys.

After you finished your chemistry assignment, you took a break by mindlessly scrolling through Instagram.

Taehyung glanced up and said in a casual voice,  “I finished developing my photos this morning.”

Taehyung mentioned to you before that he had been taking photos with his vintage Polaroid and that the process of developing them was difficult and time consuming.

“Really? Why didn’t you mention it sooner? I’ve been waiting all week to see your photos!!” You were genuinely excited because Taehyung hadn’t taken photos in forever and you missed how he used to light up while showing you pictures. Also, Taehyung was actually very talented and his photos were always distinctly him.

“You’re really excited?”

“Of course, Taehyung! Okay, hurry up take them out,” you said impatiently.

He smiled brightly and pulled out a navy blue folder from his bag. He pulled out a stack of photos and put the folder down. Taehyung leaned against your shoulder and gave you the stack.

You began to flip through each photo, carefully looking at each one before going to the next. Few were of nature scenes around campus, capturing the beautiful sunsets and the tranquility of the surrounding forests, including the cliff side ocean that he had taken to you during his birthday party. There were some of his friends. Photos of his teammates post practice of them smiling and laughing. Taehyung had a knack for somehow capturing the human emotion through his camera lens. 

Then, there were some photos from the frat party. With the red solo cups and the faded lighting, the photos looked like they came straight out of a 90s coming of age movie. You paused at the following photo. It was a picture of you and Taehyung at the frat party. Taehyung was holding your hand and you were both intently staring at each other. You had your small smile on, the smile you reserved for Taehyung when you found him especially endearing but you didn’t want him to know. He was flashing his huge smile at you. You knew the expression you had in your eyes, and it scared you.

“Jimin took that picture that night. I had no idea that photo existed until I developed it. It’s one of my favorite pictures. Don’t we look so cute?” He said peering up at you.

“Yea, it’s cute” you said in a shaky voice. You couldn’t tear your eyes away from the photo. You knew the all too familiar expression on your face and it scared you.

You quickly rifled to the next photo and it was of you. You were sitting on the picnic benches near the soccer field, surrounded by your notebooks and laptop. You were wearing a pissed off expression which was only further exemplified by you flipping off the camera and the cameraman. You vaguely remember Taehyung coming up to you after his soccer practice and exclaiming “say cheese!” which granted him this as your response.

“Taehyung, what the fuck is this picture?” You asked laughing at the sheer strangeness of the photo.

He pulled the photo from your hands and said, “No way are you taking this. This photo is my favorite picture of you ever. I’m keeping this in my wallet.”

You tried to snatch it away but Taehyung already shoved the photo in his wallet. He resumed laying his head on your shoulder as you continued flipping through his photos.

“Tae, these are so good. They are all so aesthetic.”

“You really do like them? You’re not fucking with me right?”

“Of course not. I’m being serious. You’re so talented. You definitely need to continue.”

He snuggled deeper into your shoulder and peered at you, “I will, but only if you’re my model for my next series.”

You scoffed loudly, “As if. I’m so far from being a model. You should ask someone like Jennie.”

“Why someone like her?”

“Cause she... knows how to model.” You were about to say “Cause she’s actually pretty” but you didn’t really want Taehyung's fake pity of “Oh no, you’re pretty too.” You weren’t and you were honestly okay with that. But you didn’t want people knowing what made you feel weak so they could offer fake sympathy.

He looked surprised, “Oh wow. I didn’t know that. I could ask her. But I don’t really want to.”

You furrowed your eyebrows, “Why?”

He sighed, “Jennie is fun to be around. She’s really nice and kind. And I like fucking her. But I don’t know what she wants from me. I’ve told her so much that I’m not looking for a relationship. That I don’t want a girlfriend. But I think she wants something. I don’t know, I think I have to sit down and talk with her.”

Sometimes, Taehyung didn't make sense to you. Or maybe just his duality didn’t make sense to you. He was such a cute, adorable, sweet boy sometimes but then you had to remember his infamous reputation for being the biggest heartbreaker fuckboi on campus.

You hadn’t realized but when Taehyung was talking about his relationship with Jennie, you found yourself playing with the curls of his dark hair, twirling the soft silky strands between your fingers.

You stopped the second you registered what you were doing.

Taehyung looked up at you and pouted, “Why’d you stop?”

“Oh, um, I didn’t know if you wanted me touching your hair.”

“No it’s fine. It’s kinda relaxing”

He went quiet as you continued to play with the curly strands of his hair.

“_________?”

“Yea?”

He asked innocently, “Are you and Jimin a thing?”

You stifled a laugh, “No. Definitely not. We’re just friends.”

“Oh, I just thought since you guys were talking so much lately.”

“Oh no. We were only talking because of your surprise party. He’s really nice and sweet but he’s like you. He doesn’t want a relationship and that’s something I want.”

“You know that I’m not going to stop being your best friend when you get a boyfriend. I was your friend first so your future boyfriend will need to back off.”

You laughed, “Tae, we’ll cross that bridge if we ever get to it.”

“Hmm, well I guess till then you’re mine,” he said leisurely.

Your eyes widened at his words. This was the second time he’s said that.  But this time he didn’t correct himself.

Taehyung continued talking about how he developed the photos as he laid on your shoulder. You were only half listening because your mind was running. What did he mean by that? No no, stop overthinking. Stop thinking about your feelings, stop thinking about what he might have or could have meant. You’re his friend. That’s it.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------ 1:36 am

You couldn’t sleep. You had to be up relatively early because Taehyung's game started at 11. You tried to close your eyes and calm your thoughts but it felt like your mind was running in a hamster wheel, just constantly spinning.

Your thoughts were preoccupied with many things. Firstly, you were worried about your chemistry exam grade. You felt like it went okay but you could never be too sure. Then Taehyung of course. You were convincing yourself to not think about your feelings because you knew it would only upset you. So you just kept on telling yourself that you wanted to be just friends with Taehyung. You glanced over at your roommate’s empty bed. She went over to sleep at Jungkook’s so the room was empty and silent.

You reluctantly grabbed your phone to distract yourself from your thoughts.

Your Instagram feed had become more informational, with you following mostly activist pages about climate change, politics, and human rights issues. You needed a laugh so you went to TikTok and scrolled through your FYP.

You were intently watching a “How to make photocards” tutorial when the screen was interrupted with an incoming call.

It was Taehyung.

Why would he be calling at this time? He should be sleeping by now.

You answered the call, a bit unsure, “Hello?”

“Hey _________!”

“Tae, you should really be sleeping,” you said, critically.

“I know, I know. I just....couldn’t fall asleep.”

You got concerned, “What’s going on?”

You heard some rustling from Taehyung's side of the call and then he continued in a hushed whisper, “I don’t know. I just...am worried, I guess. I’m really stressed out.”

“About the game or school?”

“Both I guess. But mostly the game right now. I just needed to talk to someone. I wasn’t sure if you were Awake but I just wanted to see. Did I wake you up?”

You gave a light laugh, “Uh no. I was actually awake.”

“Please tell me you weren’t doing homework.”

“I wasn’t! I couldn’t fall asleep either. I just was on my phone.”

“Oh okay. What’s going on with you?”

“I believe we were talking about you,” You said, chiding him.

“Okay okay. But after we are talking about you.”

“Sure sure. Why are you anxious about the game? “

“I don’t know, I Just really wanna do well. I've practiced so much for this. What if I fuck up? What if I make mistakes?”

You had never heard Taehyung sound this unconfident before. He was always easy going, chill, and reassured, especially in himself. You knew for him to be feeling this way, he must be really stressed

You said gently, “Taehyung, why do you think you’ll mess up? You’ve always done great.”

He sounded so upset, “You haven’t been to my games ________. I fucked up so badly in the last one. I was supposed to pass the ball to Jungkook so he could score but I thought I could take it and they ended up stealing the ball back and scoring. I lost that game for us.”

“Tae, one mistake doesn’t define you as a player. You tried something and it didn’t work out and you learned from it. You’re literally the hardest worker I’ve ever met. You practiced harder than anyone else. You’ve been playing for so long and you’re the best player I’ve ever seen. I know that as long as you don’t get in your head, you’re going to do great. Trust your instincts and don’t overthink it. You’re a really, really good player because you react in the moment and go with the flow. Just trust your strengths and I promise you that you'll do great.”

He let out a shaky breath, “Thank you ________. Thank you for being here for me. I can’t tell you how much you mean to me.”

You felt your heart warm at his words, “I’m your friend. Of course I’ll be here for you.”

He said in a cocky tone, “So, you really think I’m that good?”

You scoffed, “Okay I said that to make you feel better not for your headass ego to inflate even more.”

“No, no, I heard it with my own two ears. You said I’m the best soccer player you’ve seen.”

“I’ve always thought you were that good, Tae. I just never told you.”

“Why not?” He whined

“Because you don’t need any fucking compliments from me. You get plenty already from your personal cheerleading squad.”

“But I only care about what you think.”

“Shut up. I told you so just remember it forever.”

“Don’t worry. I don’t think I’ll ever forget.” He paused, “Okay so why are you awake?”

“Um just I don’t know. I’m worried about my chemistry exam grade.” You chuckled, “Well I’m worried about all my grades.”

“_________, you’re literally the smartest person I know. And I know Jimin and Namjoon hyung. If you think I’m hardworking you’re like 40 times more. I know you stress out about these things because you’re not confident in yourself. And I know it’s not an easy mentality to change. So I just want you to know I believe in you. I always have.”

You went quiet. Somehow Taehyung could understand you so well. Maybe it was the years of growing up together or maybe he was that good at understanding emotions

“_________?”

“Yes. Sorry. I just...was thinking. About what you just said. I really appreciate it. I’ve just never had anyone say that to me. I just always forced myself to be on a team by myself. It’s just...really nice.. to have someone rooting for me too.”

“I’ll always be rooting for you”

It went quiet for a moment before he interjected his soft voice, “You’re coming to the game tomorrow, right?”

“I wouldn’t miss it.”

“Good, good. I really want you to be there.” He paused, “________?”

“Yes Tae,” you said laughing. You loved the way your name sounded when it came out of his mouth.

“Would you do something for me?”

“What?” What could I possibly do for him?

“Can you wear my jersey at the game tomorrow?”

Your jaw dropped. Wearing a soccer players jersey at your school wasn’t simply just wearing a soccer jersey. Only the people who either were officially dating a player or hooked up most often with a player wore said player’s jersey. It was kinda symbol that you were “with” that player either officially or unofficially. So Taehyung asking you to wear his jersey was definitely something you were not at all expecting.

You were trying to think of a coherent sentence but all that came out was, “Um.”

“You totally don’t have to! I just thought it would be nice since you’re my closest friend.”

You blinked. It was past 2 am now. Neither of you were thinking clearly. There was no way he means anything by it other than he wants someone in the stands supporting him.

“I would! But I don’t have your jersey.” There. That wasn’t a lie, but this way you don’t have to get yourself entangled in something.

“I’ll give one to you tomorrow! Before the game!”

Fuck.

“Oh okay. Sure then.” What the fuck did you just agree to?

“Great! I’m so excited!”

You rubbed your forehead with your free hand, ��Tae, it’s getting really late. You should go to sleep.”

He sighed, “Yea. I should. You should too.”

“Yea.”

But neither of you hung up.

Taehyung said sincerely, “Thank you. For talking to me. I didn’t know what I needed but I knew I needed to talk to you.”

“Anytime. Thanks for not being a clueless headass. And for comforting me.”

“Anything for you, strawberry girl,” he said teasingly.

“Bye.” you whispered

Then you hung up the phone, left in the silence of your whirring air conditioner. It’s just a fucking shirt; it’s just polyester. It doesn’t mean anything. Stop overthinking. But that didn’t stop your mind from dissecting every possible meaning of Taehyung’s words.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------ You jolted awake at the feeling of someone shaking your body.

“Get up ___________! We have to go! We’re going to be late!” yelled Hana’s overly enthusiastic voice.

You rolled over in your bed burying yourself in your blankets, “Late for what? I’m so tired.”

By the time your mind had literally exhausted itself from tiredness, it was almost 5 am. You truly could not think of one good reason to get up and leave your bed.

“The game? The one you promised you would go to?” Hana stated with her hands on her hips. She was wearing Jungkook’s jersey tucked into a pair of ripped  black shorts. Her curly black hair was tied into two high pigtails.

Oh fuck, you kinda forgot about the game. The one you promised Taehyung you would actually go to.

“Right,” you groaned as you sat up in your bed.

“Please get dressed! It’s already 10:30!”

You got dressed wearing jeans and a white long sleeve shirt, completely forgetting about the agreement you made with Taehyung. After shoving a cliff bar in your purse, Hana dragged you out of the room.

You and Hana raced to the stadium but paused when you heard someone calling both your names.

You two turned in the direction of the voice and saw Jimin running over from the side entrance of the field, as if he were coming from the locker rooms.

“________! Hana!” he said, waving. He was clutching something in his hand.

“Hey Jimin,” you said, confused. Why is he not with his team? The game is about to start.

“I’m glad I caught you guys!” He said huffing, slightly out of breath.

“What’s up?” Hana said.

“Um _______ this is for you.” He said handing whatever he had in his hand to you.

You accepted it and unraveled the item. It was Taehyung's jersey. You glanced at Hana’s face briefly just to see her shocked reaction, “Oh yea. I forgot.”

“Yea Taehyung was.....um....late this morning to practice.” Jimin said laughing, “He’s doing his warm ups right now. He couldn’t be here to give you the shirt himself so I was the messenger.”

“Right. Thanks for doing that. You really didn’t have to. I’m sure you’re so busy with the game starting soon and all.” You were kinda confused why Jimin was laughing about Taehyung being late to practice but you shrugged it off.

“No worries. Taehyung is my best friend and I would do anything to help him out.”

Oh, maybe Jimin feels bad about talking to me so much so he’s doing nice things for Taehyung. Nah that would be stupid.

“Well good luck on the game! I know you guys will do great” Hana exclaimed excitedly.

You nodded in agreement and waved as Jimin ran back to the locker rooms.

“What the fuck _________? He gave you his jersey? When was this planned?”

“Literally, it doesn’t mean anything. He called me last night and told me so last minute. I said sure but I didn’t have a jersey so I didn’t think I would end up actually having to wear it!”

“No no, this means something! I know you don’t want to hear it but he might genuinely like you. I know you keep telling yourself that you don’t like him but you need to confront feelings eventually,” she said as you entered the stadium.

You rolled your eyes, “That sounds like a later problem.”

You and Hana made your way to the second row of bleachers. You were still holding Taehyung's jersey, a bit hesitant to put it on over your white shirt.

Hana glared at you, “Are you seriously not going to wear his jersey _______? I mean Jimin literally ran from th-” She stopped talking and her mouth gaped in shock. You followed her eye line and saw what she was staring at. Jennie and one of her friends were walking up the steps and were making their way to sit right in front of you and Hana. However you quickly noticed what Hana dropped her jaw over. Jennie was wearing Taehyung's jersey. And she of course made it look like the cutest outfit as she tied it up in knot that complemented her jean shorts so well.

You felt immense jealousy rise in your stomach. You were supposed to be the one wearing his jersey! Then your feelings turned to anger: he really thought he could have two girls show up in his jersey. Then your feelings of anger changed to defeat and insecurity: well of course he gave her his jersey. They fuck all the time plus she looks so good in his jersey. They both look so good together as a couple. Why did you keep trying to insert yourself in a situation that you weren’t relevant in? Clearly, there was some misunderstanding and you weren’t supposed to actually wear his jersey.

You looked sadly at his jersey lying in your lap. You got lost in your thoughts when Hana tapped your phone sitting next to you.

You scrunch your eyebrows in confusion but picked up your phone.

Hana: listen to jennie

You started to listen in her conversation with her friend.

The friend on her right (her name was Lisa you think?) whispered in a harsh tone, “So Jennie are you and Taehyung together then?”

Jennie flipped her perfectly styled hair over her shoulder, “Not yet. But we’ve been seeing each other more often.”

Lisa asked curiously, “Did he give you that jersey?”

Jennie said in an uptight tone, “Well, this is one he gave me earlier this year to wear. But I can wear it for this game too.”

The conversation between Jennie and Lisa got interrupted when another girl, Jisoo, came and sat down on Jennie’s left. Jisoo, leaned into the conversation, “Where were you last night Jennie? We were so worried when you got up and left at midnight.”

Jennie laughed with her hand covering her mouth, “Don’t worry. I was perfectly fine.”

She elaborated further, “I was at Taehyung’s.”

Lisa and Jisoo gasped. You immediately looked at Hana.

You: they fucked

Hana: you don’t know that!

You: u srsly believe that?

You stopped texting Hana to listen in again.

Lisa grabbed Jennies arm, “Are you being for real?”

“Of course I am! Taehyung called me and said he needed me. So I went over.”

“What happened?” jisoo asked, concerned.

“He was stressed out.”

“And?” Lisa asked eyes widened with anticipation

“And I helped him relieve his stress” she said with a smirk

Jisoo covered her gaped mouth with her hand, “You and taehyung are fucking so often now! Are you sure you guys aren’t exclusive now?”

Jennie said in a strained voice, “I’m not sure but I think we will be officially together very soon.”

Lisa and Jisoo squealed. Jennie giggled, “I almost got him in trouble”

Lisa gave a high pitched laugh, “Oh my gosh Jennie what did you do?”

“Well this morning, I couldn’t leave without making sure all of his stress was completely relieved. And he ended up being late to this morning's warm up.” she said cackling.

You remembered how Jimin said that Taehyung was late this morning when he was giving you Taehyung's jersey.

You: he was late bc he was fucking Jennie

You: that’s why jimin gave me his jersey

Hana: bro wtf is wrong w taehyung. why is he acting so weird

You: whatever idc I’m not wearing his fucking jersey tho

Hana: it’s ok to be upset

You: like i said, idc. taehyung and i are friends. he can do whatever he likes

Hana: ur just avoiding ur feelings

You: fuck off

Jennie and her clique started to chat about the cheerleading team and you went back to staring at the jersey on your lap.

Then it clicked. Taehyung called you last night. He must have fucked Jennie and then called you. What the fuck. When he called you, he said he knew he needed to talk to you. But Jennie said he said that to her too. All of those things he said to you, did he really mean them? Or did he just say it? Taehyung literally just made everything confusing. You closed your eyes. We are friends. That’s it. Don't think about anything else. Don’t think about your feelings towards him; don’t think about why you cried that night. You and Taehyung are friends. Simple

Your thoughts were interrupted when the crowd started to cheer. The soccer teams from both sides came out. The announcer introduced each player one by one. When it came to Taehyung's name, Jennie stood up and squealed, “Yes Tae!”

You couldn’t help but look at Hana and roll your eyes at Jennie's actions.

You caught a small glimpse of Taehyung. You thought you saw him wave but it happened so quickly you didn’t wave back.

You didn’t watch sports too much but with stakes high and the overwhelming energy, the game was very interesting to watch. Jungkook scored the majority of the goals as he was the lead striker. Taehyung and Jimin were on offense with him and assisted with many of the shots. Hobi was the midfielder with Jin and Yoongi as defense. Namjoon was the star goalkeeper.

The game was tied in the last quarter 5-5. Everyone was on the edge of their seats waiting to see who would win this year’s championships. With less than one minute on the clock, Taehyung scored the winning final shot. The crowd went crazy with cheers as the boys formed a group hug around tae.

Everyone from the stands went rushing down into the field to congratulate the team. You and Hana made your way down the bleachers and to the field. The second you two reached the field, Hana sprinted to jungkook and gave him a giant hug. You smiled. They were so cute together.

You wanted to congratulate Taehyung, but, of course, he had a huge crowd around him, congratulating him for scoring the winning shot. You felt pride in your heart because you knew Taehyung would do well. Once he stopped overthinking and trusted in his abilities, he always succeeded. Your thoughts of admiration of Taehyung were interrupted when Jennie pushed past you and the crowd surrounding Tae. She walked right up to him, threw her hands around his neck, and kissed his cheek, “I’m so proud of you, Tae. I knew you could do it.”

Well, never mind. I’ll just go now since he’s busy with her. You turned away from Taehyung's direction and were about to leave the field when you heard someone calling your name.

“________!” You saw Jimin racing over, waving.

“Hey Jimin! Congrats on the game! You did so well!”

He stopped in front of you, “Thank you! I’m glad all of our hard work paid off.”

“Yea, I know you guys practiced like crazy these past few weeks.”

“I’m also happy that you came out for once! I can’t believe this is the first game you’ve come to all season.”

You laughed nervously, “Yea I know I should’ve come to some more games. I just didn’t really see the point of coming out to support Taehyung if he kinda ignored me the whole time.”

“Well, Taehyung is kinda dense. He doesn’t really know what he’s missing if he’s ignoring you. Come for me next time!”

“Okay okay I will!” You said smiling at Jimin. You wished you could like someone like Jimin. He seemed like a pretty straightforward guy. But of course...things could never be simple for you.

You and Jimin talked for a bit longer about your classes until Taehyung came up to both of you and cleared his throat. He was still sweaty from the game so his curls were stuck to his face a bit. You noticed he was wearing a black wire headband and somehow he made it look hot.

“Hey _________,” he said, once again wearing his fake smile.

Keep things simple. Just friends. You can’t be mad at him for being with Jennie when you're literally just a friend.

“Hey Taehyung. Great game. You did so well. I’m so proud of you!” You said in a cheerful voice. He gave you a look because he knew you were acting weird.

“I’m glad you came. To see me.” Taehyung said, emphasizing the last part to Jimin.

“Well, I came to support the team so all of you guys.” You said, correcting him.

Taehyung came over next to you and turned to Jimin, “I think Namjoon hyung is looking for you. You better go.”

Jimin laughed because he knew what Taehyung was doing, “Okay I’ll go then! Thanks for coming _________. You should come to our party tonight by the way!”

You were about to respond with a “we’ll see” but Taehyung interjected, “I already invited her so you don’t need to.”

You furrowed your eyebrows at him because Taehyung did not invite you.

“Thank you Jimin for the invite. I’ll have to see.” you added kindly.

Then he was gone and it was just Taehyung and you.

He frowned, “Why didn’t you wear my jersey?”

Oh god. Not this again.

“I figured you gave it to me by mistake since Jennie is wearing your jersey.”

“I didn’t ask her to do that. I asked you. I wanted you to wear it.”

“Cool Taehyung. I don’t really care. She came in wearing it and I didn’t wanna look like a side chick so I decided not to.”

“Fine. I guess. I wish you wore it still. Why didn’t you wave back to me?” He added in another accusatory tone.

“I don’t know Taehyung. I didn’t see you.”

“Why are you acting like this?”

“Like what? I’m not your fucking girlfriend so you don’t get to interrogate me.“

“You’re my friend and I care about what you think of me. Is that so wrong?”

“I don’t know Taehyung. Is that what you say to all your ‘friends,’” you said, miming the quotations.

“What the fuck are you going on about?”

“Just next time don’t fucking call me saying you need me after you’ve fucked another girl.”

Your head felt like it was going to explode. So much for trying to keep it simple. You were going to leave because honestly the damage was done and you didn’t know taehyung would ever talk to you again. All your hurt feelings were just coming out and you couldn’t stop yourself.

But he pulled your arm back so you faced him.

“Is that what this is about? Me and Jennie?”

“Like I said, Taehyung. I don’t want to get in the middle of something. So if you could just stop pretending like I mean a lot to you, this would make it easier. You and Jennie can be together and I can disappear from your life.”

“_______. Jennie and I are not together. We fuck. That’s it. There’s no feelings involved.”

“There’s always feelings involved.”

“Well not from my side.”

“Then why did you call her last night saying that you needed her”

“I didn’t say that. I said I needed to relieve some stress so I asked her if she was down to have sex. She said okay. We fucked. That’s it.”

Every time Taehyung said “we fucked” it was like a shot to your heart.

“Okay. Taehyung, I don’t get why you’re telling me this. You can do whatever you want. I just don’t want to get involved.”

“Involved in what? You’re my friend. I don’t get what so complicated about this.”

“Nothing is complicated. We’re fine Taehyung.” You desperately just wanted to leave but he wasn’t letting your arm go.

“_________. I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. I don’t know what I did exactly but I’m sorry to have made you feel upset.”

You sighed. He just didn’t see it the way you did. Whatever. It’s fine. It’s fine, “It’s okay. I’m sorry for getting mad at you. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

He asked, “We’re good?”

You affirmed, “We’re good”

“So what are you doing now?”

“I dunno. I’m probably going to go make some strawberry cupcakes again. I’ve got a lot on my mind and I just need to relax I guess.”

“Can I come?”

What? Did he mean he wanted to come bake with you?

“You want to bake cupcakes? With me?”

“Yea” he said shrugging, “Why not? We’ve barely hung out this week.”

“You don’t have anything else you need to do? Or someone else you need to be with?” You said nodding in the direction of the crowd behind Taehyung. Jennie was towards the front of the crowd, looking very pissed off, as she stood with her clique.

Taehyung looked behind him then turned to you, sweeping his curls out of his face, “Nah. I’ve got nothing to do.”

You wanted to say no but there was still a part of you that wanted Taehyung to yourself, “Ok. Let’s go then.”

“Lemme grab my bag and we can go,” He said with his boxy smile.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------ It felt really weird taking Taehyung back to your dorm you thought as you unlocked your room door to let him in.

Hana had told you she would be with Jungkook the entire day so you most likely wouldn’t see her for a while.

“I gotta check something on my laptop real quick but then we can go to the kitchen on this floor and start,” you said to Taehyung as you hopped onto your bed. You opened your laptop and glanced up at Taehyung. He was checking himself out in the mirror. You rolled your eyes, shaking your head. You were scrolling through your grade book to see if anything had been updated when Taehyung stated he was going to change.

You looked up and nodded, thinking he was going to use the bathroom and change. But he did not. He pulled off his shirt by grabbing the shirt from behind his neck (how did that look so hot) and your mouth went completely dry at the sight of his bare upper body. His melanin golden skin looked ethereal. His upper body was well defined and toned. You almost lost it at the sight of his chiseled collar bones that protruded from his chest. You could eat fucking cereal out of his collarbones, they were that defined. He looked like he was sculpted from a golden statue by Van Gogh himself. The more you caught yourself drooling over Taehyung the more you realized you were totally and incomparably, fucked.

You hadn’t realized you were ogling Taehyung until his eyes met yours.

“See something you like?” He said with a tantalizing smile.

Fuck. You needed to pretend like you didn’t care. You gave him an analyzing look. “Seems like chocolate cake girl got the lesser end of the deal,” you said shrugging.

Taehyung pulled on a white shirt with the word CELINE printed on it with black bolded letters. He strided over to you, smelling like fresh deodorant, “Fuck off. I saw you staring.”

“Whatever,” You waved him off

He leaned in close, his breath tickling your cheek, “You can say whatever, but your cheeks are still red from blushing.”

Oh fuck. You could feel your cheeks reddening further.

“It’s okay. I think it’s cute.”

You turned your head to him, trying to remain as stoic as possible, “you think what’s cute?”

“I think your innocence is so cute. You act like you can be unaffected by everything. But I know how to make you crumble.” He winked and you felt breathless.

He knows what effect he has on me. Great.

“C’mon _______ I was promised some cupcakes.” he said, tugging your arm away from the bed.

You grabbed the strawberries from the fridge and your baking basket. You two went to the kitchen and you started organizing everything. You quickly realized just how different you and Taehyung were.

You were the person who liked to set everything up, go through the directions, and then begin. Taehyung was the kind of person who liked to jump right in. But somehow, you felt like you balanced each other out in the best way. After a flour spill, a few extra broken eggs, and a ton of dishes to wash, somehow you were able to make strawberry cupcakes with Taehyung.

You cleaned up all the messes Taehyung made (he claimed it wasn’t his fault but rather gravity) while he washed all the dishes when the cupcakes were placed in the oven.

Once the cupcakes were frosted and everything was cleaned, you two headed back to your room.

You set the platter of desserts down and took a deep breath, “That somehow gave me more stress.”

“Hey! We had fun! I was a great co chef,” Taehyung said as he picked up a cupcake.

“Were you now? That’s highly debatable,” You said giggling at him.

“These are so fucking good. I missed your food so much.”

“Gee thanks. Glad you missed me.”

“Shut up, I’ve told you how much I missed your headass.”

You took a bite of the cupcake in your hand and it tasted surprisingly good given that Taehyung helped you make them.

Taehyung's phone lit up and the background caught your eye.

“Aww, wait did you make your phone background your photos?” you said grabbing his phone.

“Well actually...” he said trailing off as your eyes widened as you actually saw what was his phone lock screen. Your mouth went dry. It was the photo of you and Taehyung at the party. The photo that frightened you so much.

“I just really like that picture of us. It makes me happy when I see it.”

“Yea. It’s a cute photo” you said not really paying attention to your words. Your heart was racing. Just friends, you repeated to yourself. Don’t think about your feelings.

“Okay now what?” Taehyung said cheerfully.

“Don’t you have a party tonight? Do you need to head back?”

“Eh. I’ll go later. I just wanna chill for now,” he leaned back on his hands.

The voice of reason in your head was telling you that you should tell Taehyung to leave, that you should do some homework and push him away before you start getting any ideas.

But your voice of reason was drowned out by your actual voice, “Do you wanna watch a movie or something?”

He perked up, “Yea that sounds good.”

He jumped onto your bed and got comfortable as if it was a totally normal routine for him. Taehyung’s eyes caught something on your bed and picked up the gray cloth by your pillow, “Uh, ________ is this my sweatshirt?”

You closed your eyes, cringing at the situation. You had been meaning to give Taehyung his sweatshirt back but between avoiding him and also hanging out with him, you had completely forgotten. Also, it was really comfortable to wear.

You tried to keep a straight face, “Yep. You left it here I think.”

He smiled, trying to catch your embarrassment, “I actually didn’t leave it here. Don’t you remember?”

You sneered at him, “Yes I remember. You gave it to me because it was cold but I just forgot to give it to you. You can take it back now.”

He looked very unconvinced, “Right. You forgot. You didn't like sleeping with it or anything.”

You opened your mouth to say something but he laughed loudly, “I'm kidding. Maybe. C'mon, let's watch something.”

You grabbed your laptop, sat on the bed next to Taehyung, and began scrolling through Netflix.

You saw a movie title that caught your eye, “Let’s watch this”

Taehyung squinted at the screen and read the title of the movie, “To all the boys I’ve loved before?”

“Yep! I love this movie but I haven’t seen it in so long.”

“Isn’t this like a romantic comedy?”

“Yea,” you said leaning back on your pillow.

“You like teen rom coms?” he asked in disbelief.

“Oh, shut up. I love rom coms. Plus this one is so cute. I love the lead girl and guy.”

“Okay if you insist.” He said, unconvinced, adjusting his seating.

You played the movie and you began to watch the movie with Taehyung.

“To be honest, I’m not really liking Josh. Am I supposed to feel bad for him?” Taehyung asked, with his head resting on your shoulder.

“I don’t really know but I don’t feel bad for him. Lara Jean made it clear she doesn’t want to talk to him and he keeps trying.”

He nodded in agreement, “Yea fuck that guy.”

Once the movie was over, you closed your laptop.

“So, what did you think?” You asked while stretching your arms above your head.

“It was cute, I liked it. But I know why you liked it.”

You laughed, “Why do you think I like it?”

“Uh because you’re like Lara Jean.”

You scoffed, “I definitely am not like Lara Jean. She has way better style than me. And I also think she’s way braver than me.  I would never have the guts to write my feelings out.”

“I dunno..” he said teasingly “Lara Jean reminds me of you.”

You flipped him off and he stuck his tongue out at you. The room was dark now. It was evening now and you could hear the chatter of students outside your window. You felt calm in the darkness of the room with Taehyung by you.

Taehyung moved his head off your shoulder and rested against the pillows. His face was way too close to yours. You started pulling the neckline of your shirt over your face unconsciously.

“Why are you doing that?”

“Doing what?” you asked innocently.

He pulled your hands away from your face. “Covering your face,” he said with a light laugh.

“Oh, um. I dunno.”

“Stop doing that. I wanna see your face.”

“Tae...my face probably looks so gross right now. My skin has been acting up all week and I just probably look so weird and-“

He pulled the shirt covering your face down, “Stop, you look pretty. Stop worrying.”

You gave a cold laugh, “I’m not pretty.”

You really didn’t wanna be a ‘pick me’ girl but the words slipped out of your mouth like a reflex.

He scooted closer to you on the bed, “Do you really think that?”

Fuck it right? You had already said way more shit than you had intended to. Might as well keep it going and just be honest with him.

“I’m not pretty. Or beautiful. Girls like Hana or Jennie are. And I know that. And I dunno it used to bother me but...it’s whatever now.”

His big doe eyes were filled with concern, “I haven’t said anything but I notice the way you act, especially when you feel like people are looking at you. You always try to hide yourself. And you always compare yourself.”

You exhaled deeply, thinking carefully about your words, “Well cause it’s true. I’m just not as pretty as other girls. And I’m really not trying to fish for compliments. Which is why I never talk about it.”

He gave a small laugh, “I know you aren’t fishing for compliments. You always act so shy and embarrassed if anyone says anything nice about you.”

Taehyung's eyes were entrancing you but you felt anxious under his steady gaze.

You averted your eyes so you were focused on your pillow, “Yea well it’s cause I don’t know how to take a fucking compliment. I just get so shocked I guess. Girls like Hana and Jennie are used to attention so they know how to be confident in themselves. I wish I could be like that.”

God, you hated the way you sounded. You literally hated the ‘I’m not like other girls trope’ that only pitted women against each other. Truly, you admired Jennie and Hana for being themselves and embracing their beauty in a society that feeds off of insecurity. You really did look up to them and wished you could be confident as them.

Taehyung's hand came up to your cheek and you felt the cold metal of his rings press against your face. He brushed the strands of hair that were hiding your face behind your ear and whispered hoarsely, “Why do you keep comparing yourself? Why do you keep thinking about things you want to change about yourself? You’re enough. You have always been enough.”

You felt like your heart was going to explode at his words. You had longed to hear those words from anyone in your life. As someone who constantly sees their own flaws, you craved for someone to say ‘you’re perfect the way you are.’ Taehyung's words meant the world to you but if only you could see yourself the way he saw you.

You whispered back, “Really?”

He gave you a little nod, staring deep into your eyes. In this moment, you felt so grateful for Taehyung. All those days you spent crying over him were nothing to this moment where he told you that you were enough.

You pulled him into a hug, “I missed you so fucking much.”

You felt his smile against your cheek. Your heart felt fuzzy and light for the first time in a long time.

You pulled away and looked at his huge boxy smile and fluffy hair. God, Taehyung would literally be the fucking death of you.

He was so warm in the bed next to you. You could literally feel the heat radiating off of him. You couldn’t wipe the stupid smile off your face. Because that’s how he made you feel.

You changed the topic because the dreamy look in his eyes sent shivers up your spine, “Taehyung, are you sure you don’t have to go tonight?”

“Nah, it’s not a big deal. It’s a big party but that’s kinda why I don’t wanna go. There’s going to be so many people there and I don’t wanna have to deal with that. Fake smiling and shit.”

“God I hate small talk.” you added.

“For real, like I get the weather is fucking nice I guess.”

You stifled a laugh.

He ran his hand through his curls, “Anyways, I do have to go tomorrow so missing today isn’t that big of a deal.”

You said, unconsciously pressing into him, “What’s tomorrow?”

“All the guys are going to Jungkook's lodge. It’s by a ski resort and shit. It’s really fucking nice.”

“That’ll be relaxing for you guys.”

“Well not really since Jungkook invites basically a shit ton of people so it’s never really just the guys.”

“Oh right. Well, it’ll still be fun for you maybe. Just to have fun with people.”

He placed his warm hand on your elbow, gently caressing it with his thumb. Your heart pounded at the action.

“Yea, but I don’t really care about any of those people.”

You smiled at his comment, Taehyung really had a great bullshit detector. He knew when people were using him for something.

“Will you come?”

“Where?”

He laughed at your comment, “To the lodge, stupid. With me.”

Oh. Oh. Why does he want you to come with him? What the fuck. Why doesn’t he take Jennie? Why is he asking you?

“I can hear you overthinking,” he said teasingly.

“Sorry, I’m just thinking like about homework and WiFi at his lodge. It might just not be-“

“For fucks sake. Just come. We can do homework together and hide from everyone. You can use my data if Jungkook's WiFi doesn’t work. Just please come. I want you there.”

God why does he have to say such sweet things? How does he know exactly what to say to tug at your heart strings?

“Okay. I’ll come.”

He exhaled deeply and laid on his back, “Thank goodness”

Your curiosity got the best of you, “Why do you want me to come so bad? Do you hate it or something?”

“I mean we’ve gone a couple times to Jungkook's place and it gets so crazy. I don’t know I just don’t feel like the same party kid I was a month ago. I know if you’re there I’ll feel sane. And I wanna hang out with you.”

“Tae, we literally see each other all the time.”

“I mean I have to make up for two years where we didn’t talk.”

“Fair enough.”

At some point in your conversation arguing about the best marvel movies (you were adamant that Civil War was a cinematic masterpiece while Taehyung believed Avengers: Infinity Wars was the superior film) you had nodded off, worn out from the long day.

You tried shifting in your sleep when you felt a heavy weight on your body. I must have left my books on my bed again. You tried shifting again, not caring if the books slid off your bed, but the weight didn’t shift. You tried moving but then you felt something pull you to the other side of the bed. You looked at what was pulling you and it was a hand. Taehyung's hand.

Your eyes widened in realization. You looked around and saw that Taehyung had his arm wrapped around your waist, with his leg thrown over your hip, completely pulling you into his embrace. His head began to nuzzle in the back of your neck. He still smelled so good, like comfort. You felt your cheeks heat up as your brain processed what was going on: Taehyung had slept over. Actually, Taehyung had slept in your bed. With you. And now he was cuddling with you in his sleep.

This felt scarily intimate especially since this was the first time you had physically slept in the same bed as a guy. You tried to slip away, maybe sleep in Hana’s bed or hide in the hallway, but Taehyung moaned (your face reddened even more) and pulled you back, “Where are..you going?” He croaked, sleepily, “You’re so warm. And comfy. Don’t go.”

He’s somehow even cuter when he’s sleepy.

“Tae, don’t you have to go?” You asked, hoping he would get up.

“Go where? I just want to stay in bed with you,” Your face literally flared. He peeked open one eye and smirked, “Still cute”

“Shut up. You’re so annoying. You need to go. You have to go to Jungkook's ski thing.”

“Fuck,” he said hoarsely, rubbing his eyes. God, his morning voice was so attractive.

He grabbed his phone and looked through it, “Yea Jungkook and the guys are texting me. I should probably go.” He dropped his phone on the bed and wrapped his arms around you, “I’ll see you there right?”

The familiar fluttering in your heart was getting stronger. The way your heart literally hadn’t stopped fluttering since yesterday. You knew you were in deep shit.

“Do you not get sick of me?”

“Of could not, beautiful”

You tried not to smile when he said that, “I think I prefer strawberry girl.”

He teased, “Okay, then strawberry girl I’ll see you later today right?”

“Yea I’ll come with Hana.”

“Bet,” he removed his arms from around you and hopped out of your bed.

He started packing up the things he had scattered in your room like his phone charger and his soccer uniform. You put your hands on your face and stared at your comforter, trying to focus. You could not believe you and Taehyung slept together. Even though it might not seem like a big deal to anyone, it was a big deal to you. The way his body felt, pressed against yours. How it felt so natural for you and him.

He looked at you, “Hey.”

You snapped out of your thoughts, “Hey.”

“I’m sorry.”

You laughed, “For what? You actually haven't done anything this time.”

His solemn expression made you realize he was being deadly serious, “I’m sorry for making you feel not important. I realized why you were upset about Jennie. I never meant to make you feel like you were a second choice or a backup. So I’m sorry.”

I was not expecting that.

“Oh. Well. It’s fine. It’s not a big deal. I shouldn’t have gotten that mad.”

“No ________ it was a big deal. You never deserve to be treated like you don’t matter.”

And then he looked at you, like there was something worth looking at.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck fuck.

He left. You slightly remember saying bye. You can’t recall if he said bye back. The smell of him remained in the room. The red flags were going off In your head.

Now you were finally left alone, with your feelings. And the hard truth hit you like a fucking truck.

You heard the door click open. Hana came in with a huge smile, “Did I just see Kim Taehyung leave our room?”

You didn’t answer her question.

You didn’t know if you should cry because you somehow fucked yourself over again 2 years later or if you should be relieved that you finally had the courage to face the reality of your feelings.

You finally looked up at Hana’s concerned expression, “I’m in love with him, Hana.”

The words felt like a release. You had been bottling these emotions up for so long. If you were being truly honest, you had ignored these feelings since the frat party. You thought it would go away after you cried after his birthday party if you just ignored everything. But with your pillows smelling like him, with you desperately wanting to spend more and more time with him, with your heart beating out of your chest every time you saw his brown doe eyes, you couldn’t run away anymore.

You breathed out the very words you were most afraid of, “I fucking love him.”

Hana walked over to your bed and hugged you, “Oh honey, I know.”

author’s note: thank you for reading! i rlly didn’t expect to receive this much support and interest in my writing! lmk if you would like to be added to the taglist for this story! i think pt 4 will be the last part but it will be a little bit before it comes out. thx for reading 🥺💜

tags: @fleurmoon @tangledsparkles @chocolatebelievercrusade @brokenobserver @ncitydreamies @soulstaes @bonnyskies @thelilbutifulthings @busansgloss @imluckybitches @xlectrahearts @embrace-themagic @bts-dreamybaby @belshka @trinbin039 @xxlostinseoul @sheislikearock @madjammil @guksflavor 

[alexadru]

White Knight - In the dead of the night

It has been two days since what was now known as the Battle for Haven. An event which, unlike the Fall of Beacon, was kept under wraps from the general public, but it was by no means less important. 

Two days and the events that transpired were still fresh in the mind of one Weiss Schnee. Her fight against Vernal, against Hazel as well as her near death experience. The memory of her being impaled and the pain that followed was something she had not fully gotten over and yet it felt like a distant memory. Almost like it wasn't even real, but the thought had her lying awake in bed at this moment. It has been hours since everyone went to sleep and yet she still laid awake, the usually familiar sounds of Yang’s snores and Ruby’s occasional mid sleep chirps were now keeping her up after months of quiet at her home in Atlas.

That was a lie, of course. One she told herself to justify her current insomnia. The noises made by Ruby and Yang had nothing to do with the unease she was feeling, with how her mind and body refused to relax properly and fall asleep.

With a sigh, she quietly got out of bed, clad in her light blue nightgown, and tip toed outside the shared room without disturbing her roommates. The girl figured that maybe a glass of water from the kitchen and a few minutes of fresh air from the veranda would entice her eyelids to close eventually.

As she descended the stairs and entered the main living area, she was greeted with a surprising sight. On one of the red sofas laid the familiar figure of Jaune Arc, fast asleep. Briefly wondering why he wasn’t in his room, she quietly approached. 

Once next to him, she noticed his discarded weapon and armor on the floor, at least he had half the mind to sleep without them. She couldn’t imagine how uncomfortable it would have been.

It took little time for her to realize what was going on. He had been training late and was so exhausted he didn’t even make it to his bed. Instead, the blonde passed out on the sofa.

As to why on Remnant he was pushing himself so hard after they had just survived the hardest fight of their lives, she had no clue. Staring at the bunny image of his hoodie, Weiss couldn’t help but be confused by the boy in front of her. 

They had a tumultuous past at Beacon where he had been a constant annoyance for months with a perseverance unmatched by any suitors sent her way by her father. But then, the dance happened and all that changed. His advances stopped and it seemed that he had realized for the first time that he had been a pest to her. Not only that, he did a complete 180 and even asked Neptune to spend time with her. All for her sake.

Months later, after enduring the insincerity of the upper crust of Atlas, after finally standing up to her father and after surviving being a hostage to one of the most dangerous band of misfits on the continent, she had met him again.

He was different. A lot more subdued and quiet, the tragedy of Beacon forced him to grow and mature, just like her. However, that air of seriousness was something she didn’t dislike.

Her thoughts were interrupted when he started to shuffle, his body adjusted to a more comfortable position with his hoodie riding up on the sofa and exposing his torso. Despite being night time, some light entered the room through the windows and Weiss was drawn to the sight of his abdomen.

She blinked in surprise when she saw abs which were previously hidden by his cartoon themed hoodie. This... this wasn’t what she expected. She did not expect her eyes to stare straight at his abdominal muscles, nor did she expect them to be so defined. 

Without realizing, her hand hovered above his skin and, hesitantly, gave a feathery touch. Weiss had no idea what compelled her to act like this, but it was probably related to the unease she had been feeling all night. Yes, most definitely. She was totally not curious about Jaune's abs.

Slowly, she dragged her finger across his exposed body, feeling the slight bumps. He let out a soft groan which nearly froze her on the spot. Fingers left his skin as if it burned and she looked up to see if he had woken up. Mercifully, he was still asleep and Weiss released a breath.

At that point, the rational side of her mind told her that she should go get that glass of water and make her way back to her room. But her thoughts were still jumbled from her tiredness, unease and now an increasing curiosity for the boy in front of her. Against her better judgement, she went and poked his exposed abdomen again.

What started with a poke became more than two and fingers had become hands. The way she could feel the heat of his body under her palm was unlike anything else she had felt. Weiss had never had much physical contact during her life. She had shared hugs with Winter or her teammates, but this went beyond that. 

Before she realized, a few minutes later, she was straddling his lap with her hands carefully and eagerly roaming his abdominal region, enjoying the feel of his defined and strong musculature. Her cheeks burned as she continued to feel a warmth spread through her body. 

Weiss: "This is so wrong... what's wrong with me? What am I even doing?" She quietly asked no one in particular. 

Nevertheless, she got an answer. 

Jaune: "Yeah, I'd kind of like to know too." Weiss' blood froze as she slowly lifted her head and finally saw that the boy she was on top of had woken up.  

Jaune: "Weiss? ...what are you doing?"

He was looking at her, his blue eyes staring into her own, waiting for an explanation for the treatment she had been administering moments ago. 

The girl was at a loss and she felt panic build up inside of her. How was she going to explain this? 

Weiss: "This is a dream!" She blurted out.

Jaune: "A dream?" He began to rub his eyes with his palm to shake the tiredness. There was little success.

Weiss: "Y-yes! I am the manifestation of your deepest desire. I am here to fulfill all your p-pleasures with no exception." Involuntarily, her treacherous hands still roamed his abdomen.  

As Jaune blinked at her with bleary eyes, Weiss was screaming on the inside. Fulfill his pleasures!? What was wrong with her!? This was not damage control, it was the complete opposite!

Jaune: "I guess that makes sense." Came his tired response, his hand now covering a loud yawn. 

Watching him carefully, it was clear that he was still half asleep. How else would he buy her terrible reasoning? Wait… did he just say that it made sense for her to appear in his dreams? 

Thoughts began filling her head with possible scenarios in which she would appear in his dreams at night, some which had her cheeks turn red and make her look down where her hands laid on him. That was another mistake because she saw his chiseled torso again.

However, before she could say anything, the boy grabbed her shoulders with both hands, catching her off guard. Weiss was pulled against him, her body laying on top of his as she was held securely by his surprisingly large arms.

Weiss: "J-Jaune?" She muttered, unsure of what to make of his action. A bit of panic creeped up her spine. The girl didn't know if she should wait for him to say something or if she should break free and run to her room. Her mind picked the former.

The silence continued for a few minutes, before Jaune shuffled in his sleep again. This time he twisted on his side, bringing her small body with him, trapping her between him and the backrest of the sofa. It was a wonder how they both fit.

Weiss swallowed some saliva, feeling her heart thump in her neck. The closeness of their bodies was impossible to ignore at this point. The girl squirmed a bit in his hold, but to no avail. She was entirely pressed against his larger and sturdier figure with her chest squeezed against his. It was an uncomfortable sensation, unfamiliar and tense. 

Jaune: "You're… safe." Soft, delirious whispers came from his mouth, uttered from the depths of his subconscious. "...I'm glad."

When she heard those words, Weiss' mind put a stop to any other thought instantly. Urged by her feelings, she looked up to see his face. His words, full of emotion, called for her full attention.

Jaune: "So glad…" His tone got unstable as his voice began to crack, almost as if he was about to start crying. "...I didn't lose you too." Still under the impression that this was nothing but a dream, Jaune pulled 'dream' Weiss closer against him, like he was afraid that she would vanish if he didn't.   

The rawness of his mid sleep confession hit her like a hammer. 

In that moment it sank into her head just how close she had been to losing her life. To have her existence along with her feelings and dreams disappear in a single moment. An agonisingly long and cold moment.

The tenseness and unease she had been feeling was her subconscious trying to process that notion. That she had been fatally wounded and had been moments away from death.

All her training, studying and counselling couldn't have prepared her for the torrent of primal emotions that burst inside of her. 

Fear and terror of the likes which nearly crippled her On the spot.

In an instant, her hands snaked around Jaune's back and held onto him like a vice. Sharp nails dug into the material of his hoodie as the girl tried her best to hide herself from the world by burying herself against his chest. 

Weiss: "I'm here… I'm still here." She screamed the words in her mind from the top of her lungs, but on the outside they were barely even heard. 

Almost feeling her distress in his sleep, Jaune continued to hold her close and be that giant pillar she desperately needed in that moment. With slow motions, he rubbed her back with his hand, his fingers running through her snow white hair comfortingly, giving as much emotional support as he could.

It worked. 

Weiss relaxed slowly as she found comfort in his secure hold and the warmth of his body. Whereas before she felt unease from her position, now she practically melted in his arms. Her death grip lessened and now she simply returned his hug. It was an intimate embrace and it was everything that Weiss wanted in that moment.  

The exhaustion of the last few days hit Weiss hard and her eyelids grew heavy before she realized. She was finally lulled to sleep by the sound of Jaune's steady heartbeat.

[aerynwrites]

The Devil You Know - 5

Chapter 5: Explosive Moments

(Gif by @pedroispunk)

Author’s Note: Phew, It’s finally finally hear you guys! I am so sorry I made y’all wait so long for this chapter, I honestly have no excuse lol. I hope you guys enjoy this step in Javier and readers journey because I know I did! Also - Thank you so so so much to @hiscyarika and @murdermewithbooks for reading over this chapter for me and catching all of my terrible tense errors. This chapter would not be anywhere near as polished as it is without you! I love you guys!

Word Count: 3.4k

Warnings: Blood, guns, mentions of drugs, canon typical violence, NSFW themes (but not really smut tho?) just like making out and stuff followed bu non descriptive sexual content.

Previous Part | Next Part | Masterlist

////

“What do you want us to be?”

The words seem to ring in your ears and bounce around in your head as you try to formulate an answer. What do you want with Javier? Do you want to just continue this…whatever this is? Or do you want more? It feels like your brain has been turned to mush, unable to function properly after Javier kissed you like a man starved, and then threw this question at you in response to your own query about this relationship.

Your eyes focus in on him, taking in the fact that his chest is still moving as quickly as yours after your heated kiss just moments before. But more importantly, as your eyes meet his - while they are blown wide with desire – you can decipher some other emotion there. Something that goes beyond just physical attraction and lust, and that’s what finally seems to ground you in this moment as your brain seems to catch up with itself and allows you to stutter out a response.

“I just–“ your mouth feels dry as you try and speak again, “I just want to be yours Javier, only yours. And I want you to be mine,” you finally confess, the words falling past your lips in a hushed whisper.

You hear a rush of breath leave Javi’s lips as he lets out a breath you didn’t even know he was holding, and then he’s on you once more. Lips crashing against yours even more fiercely than before, a certain dominance behind his actions. Your hands move to his shoulders squeezing harshly and you let out a small gasp as he gives your lower lip a particularly harsh bite. He doesn’t give you time to protest as his hands move from your waist down to your thighs pulling on them lightly in a silent request to jump. You comply without hesitation, wrapping your legs around his waist as his hands grip your thighs to keep you steady. Javier must have remembered where your bedroom is from his first time here, because he manages to get you both there in once piece, his lips never leaving yours until he sits you down on the bed, crawling over you. His lips are on you once more this time trailing kisses from your jaw down your neck, all while his hands slide downwards toying with the hem of your sundress.

“It took everything in me to keep my hands off you at that bar,” he breathes, lips ghosting over your ear, “wearing this dress that leaves very little to the imagination.”

You can’t help the small whimper that slips past your lips as his hands slide back up your body, pulling your dress with it, “Well,” you gasped, your own hands moving to hastily work at the buttons of his salmon colored shirt, “You didn’t do a very good job,” you tease, “your hands were on me all night.”

You feel your heart flutter at the laugh that rumbles in Javier’s chest just as you finish with the last button on his shirt. He sits back on his knees pulling the offending article all the way off before leaning forward and pulling you up with him, so your legs are on either side of his.

“Can you blame me?” he groans, finally tugging your dress up and over your head, his fingers moving to toy with the back clasps of your bra, unhooking it expertly before sliding it from your arms and tossing it somewhere into the room.

His lips return to your neck, nipping gently at the spot just below your ear as your own hands move to explore the newly exposed skin of his torso. They skate across the warm expanse of his chest before moving to his back, studying the way the muscles flex under your fingertips. You can’t help the shudder that runs up your spine at the realization of the strength he possesses, as if the earlier confrontation at the bar wasn’t testament enough. The way he effortlessly holds you to him as he moves you beneath him, keeping himself suspended over you with just one hand beside your head and brings his lips to yours once more. This man is stronger than he appears and the thought that you trusted him enough to give yourself completely to him – make yourself so vulnerable to him – it makes the both of you gasp in pleasure.

“And when that pendejo touched you-“ you feel a familiar warmth pool in your lower belly at the small growl that slips past his lips, “I could have killed him-” he pants, pulling away to look you directly in the eyes, “because nobody is allowed to touch what’s mine.” As the words leave his lips, a small moan works its way up your throat and out of your mouth, and you pull him against you, wanting to feel his skin against yours.

It feels like the rest of the night passes in a blur. This time with Javier was different than before, while it was anything but slow and sensual, you could tell there was something else there. Some other emotion besides carnal desire was present in the room. You could feel it when his lips met yours gently, no rush or fierceness behind it – or when his hands roamed every inch of your skin slowly, worshiping you with words of praise and pleasure. But nothing compares to the feeling when it’s all said and done, both of your chests heaving in the aftermath of your highs. You turn onto your side to face him, watching as he leans over the side of the bed – fishing around for a moment before he produces a pack of cigarettes and his lighter. Pulling one from the pack and lighting it, he takes a long drag before leaning back into the pillows, letting out an even longer sigh, smoke filling the air.

You are somewhat surprised when he reaches out to you, tugging you closer to him until you’re pressed against his side, both of your bodies still covered in a sheen of sweat. But neither of you seems to care as Javier wraps his arm around you and you rest your head on his chest, the steady thrum of his heartbeat filling your ears. The room is filled with silence for a moment, the only sound being Javier’s breaths as he continues to smoke. You are the first to break it.

“So, was that a yes?” you ask quietly, shifting so you are looking up at him.

Javier lets out a small chuckle, putting a finger under your chin and guiding you up to place a kiss on your lips, “Querida,” he mumbles, lips brushing yours, “I thought I made it very clear that I want you to be mine.”

You can’t help the large smile that graces your lips at his words as you capture his lips with yours again. You can feel him smile into you, before pulling away and pressing a quick peck to your temple. He then snuffs out his cigarette in the ashtray, moving to sit on the edge of the bed. You feel a small sense of confusion fill you as you watch him stand from the bed and pick up his pants, tugging them on. You sit up fully now, holding the sheet to your chest as you watch him locate the rest of his clothing as well, pulling his shirt back on, fingers working at the buttons slowly.

“Where are you going?” you ask, voice timid as he pulls his shoes on.

Javier looks over to you now, and he feels his heart clench slightly at the hurt look on your face. He doesn’t want to hurt you, that is the last thing he wants to do, but if he is being honest – his brain is running wild with everything that has happened in the past few hours. He had beat the shit out of some guy at a bar for simply touching you, then he came back to your place and basically confirmed that he wanted to be in a committed relationship with you. It was a lot for him. This – growing this attached to you, making whatever this was official, it isn’t supposed to happen. This whole thing started out as a ploy to get closer to the DEA, a plan to get an even further head start against the people threatening his livelihood. He didn’t expect to fall in love with you.

Love? Is that what this is?

Javier stands abruptly as the word crosses his mind, and he shakes his head – trying to expel the troubling thoughts from his mind.

He walks over to you, leaning onto the bed slightly, “I have work stuff I have to deal with – I probably shouldn’t have even come out tonight,” he admits, only halfway lying.

You open your mouth, instinctively wanting to ask him to stay. Not only because you just want him here with you, but because you’re afraid of the things you would face when you finally fall asleep. The nightmares plaguing your slumber have become unbearable, rendering you wide awake most nights, terrified of going back to sleep. Afraid of seeing the people you cared about most gunned down or seeing Carlos lying motionless in that market again. You had hoped, for one blissful moment, that you would be able to sleep peacefully tonight with Javier at your side. but as you look at him now, a slight panic but also regret swimming in his eyes, you can’t bring yourself to say anything. You don’t want to burden him with your problems, not when you’ve finally made a step forward with him. You don’t want possibly ruin things by spouting off your problems. So, you just nod, forcing a small smile.

“Okay,” you breathe, “I understand.”

You see a small sense of relief wash over the man in front of you and he leans down capturing your lips with his in a quick kiss, before pulling back and brushing a strand of hair behind your ear. He stands back to his full height and backs towards the door slowly.

“What if I pick something up tomorrow and come over for dinner?” he suggests, standing in the doorway.

You shift slightly, “That would be great Javi but–“ you pause as he shifts in his spot, seemingly dejected at what he thinks is going to be your refusal.

You shake your head, “We just have a raid we’re doing tomorrow; I don’t know when I’ll be back,” you inform him, clenching the sheet in your hands.

Javier seems to straighten up at this, “A raid?” his voice is laced with concern.

“It’s uh-“ you run your hand through your hair, debating on whether you should tell him what is going on, and decide against it, “it’s just some low level drug guys,” you reassure, “It shouldn’t be anything major.”

You watch his jaw clench as he looks at you, as if he doesn’t believe what you’re saying. But if he doesn’t, he never says anything. He just nods and comes over, placing another small kiss to your lips before pulling away and resting his forehead against yours.

“Just–“ he pauses, taking in a deep breath, “be careful bonita, for me.”

You give him a small nod, pressing your lips to the corner of his mouth, before he pulls away, “I will Javi.”

He gives you a curt nod, “Good. I’ll still see you tomorrow, yeah?”

A small laugh slips past your lips, “Yes, I’ll give you a call or something when I get back.”

Javier gives you a large smile and walks towards the door again but stops before he leaves the room and turns to you, “Goodnight, querida.”

“Goodnight, Javi,” you whisper.

But he’s gone before you can utter the words.

~~~~~

The next day, your mind keeps drifting to the night before, trying to decipher Javier’s confusing actions. He had made your relationship official, he wanted to be with you yet, when it came down to it – he still left. And for some reason, that stings worse than anything.

A loud call of your name breaks you from your thoughts and you looked over at Steve who is sitting across from you in the truck. You, Steve, Carrillo and his men are all sat in the back of a large truck, geared up and ready to infiltrate the house where the rogue cartel members have been operating.

“What?” you call back, fighting to be heard of the roar of the truck engine.

Steve shakes his head, “Are you okay? You’ve been out of it all morning.” He calls back.

You nod, adjusting the rifle in your hands, “I’m good Steve,” you reassure, hoping he believes you.

Steve looks skeptical but nods nonetheless, “I said that we are three minutes out from the rogue’s location – Carrillo says we will be coming in hot!” he informs you.

You nod.“We need to try and keep some of them alive,” you call out, informing everyone around you, “We won’t have any information if they’re all dead.”

Carrillo calls out his confirmation before shouting the orders to his men and looks back to you, “We’re coming up on location now – are you two ready?”

You and Steve look at each other and nod, “Ready as ever.”

The next few moments pass in an explosion of activity. You are in a heavy infantry truck, and Carrillo has the brilliant idea of using the truck itself as a battering ram – placing you directly into the rogue’s base and hopefully stunning them. As soon as the truck makes impact with the house, you, Steve and the rest of the men on board jump from the back of the truck and enter the building. You and Steve takes the hallway in the middle of the house while Carrillo and his men take the other rooms and the upstairs. As soon as you enter the building, a Sicario stands from his position on the floor pistol aimed at Steve but you down him before he can get a round off. Steve nods to you that he was okay, and you continue to move further into the house and down the hallway. You check the first door on your left while Steve takes the one on the right. You shove the door open and quickly scan the room, finding no one in the run-down bathroom.

“Clear!” you shout, backing out of the room and turning when you hear gunshots from Steve’s direction.

“Clear!” his voice meets your ears as he too exits his room before you both continue down the hallway.

There’s just one door left on the right and it’s closed. You hear several more shouts of ‘clear’ being shouted throughout the house as you and Steve approached the last door. You look to him, and he just nods to you, resting a hand on the doorknob. He quickly turns it and shoves the door open, allowing you to go in with your rifle aimed and ready. You quickly enter the room moving in a sideways motion so your eyes can be on the majority of the room. However, as soon as you get past the doorway, you are met with a cornered Sicario in the back of the room and a shotgun aimed directly at you.

“Gun!” you yell, diving to the side and pulling your own trigger as you just narrowly miss the large shotgun blast aimed for your head.

Your aim was true, and your own fire made contact with the Sicario that shot at you, sending him falling backwards into the wall behind him. Steve runs over to the fallen rogue and throws his shotgun out of reach before striding back over to you, pulling you up from the ground and gripping your upper arms tightly.

“Jesus Christ are you okay?” he asks you, eyes searching you desperately.

You nod firmly, “Yeah – I’m good, he missed me,” you assure, but furrow your brows when you see that Steve’s eyes are no longer on you but focused on something behind you.

You turn around, Steve’s hands falling from your arms and finally see what he’s looking at. The shotgun blast that missed you, landed in the wall instead, leaving a smattering of holes with a large blast centered in the middle leaving a chuck of dry wall missing. However, it isnt’ the destroyed wall that draws your attention – It’s the slight shine of something in the wall. You and Steve look at one another curiously, before stepping forward and gripping the drywall firmly before slowly ripping it away. After a few moments, a considerable amount of the wall is ripped away and you and Steve stare in awe at what you have found. You take a step back, pulling your walkie from your belt and pressing the button.

“Carrillo,”

The radio crackles to life, “What is it?”

“You’re going to want to see this.”

~~~~

The unrelenting afternoon sun filters in through the windows and the large hole in the main room of the house. You, Carrillo, and Steve all stand staring at all of the exposed walls of the home – in complete shock at the sight before you. Carrillo’s men had taken down all of the drywall in the house, exposing what had to be thousands of kilos of cocaine hidden within the walls of the building. There has to be millions of dollars’ worth of this stuff in this house alone, and you know these low level Sicario’s didn’t make it themselves.

You walk over towards the window of the house, watching as one of Carrillo’s men lead a search dog around the property, seeing if they had anymore hiding places. Your eyes lazily follow the path of the dog as Steve and Carrillo continue to talk to one another.

“But where did they get it?” Steve asks, “There’s no way that twelve guys gathered and manufactured this much coke in this amount of time.”

Carrillo shrugs his shoulders and opens his mouth to say something, but you beat him to it, glancing back at the men from your position from the window, “They stole it.” You say simply.

Carrillo turns to you now, “From who? Los Carnales? Do you really think they got away with this much product without raising suspicion?”

You shake your head, “No, but think about it–“ you begin, “The cartel has been uncharacteristically quiet since the rogues have been on our radar. They haven’t been spotted at any of our check points, we haven’t seen any of the low-level drug runners at their usual haunts,” you list, “Los Carnales knows. And I can guess that their boss isn’t too happy about his own men betraying him and stealing millions of dollars of product in the process,” you turn back to the window, “And now that we have it…I have a feeling there is going to be a lot of noise.”

Steve begins to say something, but a loud and hurried barking catches your attention. Your eyes find the source of the sound, the earlier search dog you had been watching is going crazy over the shed several yards away from the house. You watch as one of the men approaches the shed with a pair of bolt cutters and cuts the lock away, swinging the doors open. You push off the window and turn towards the men behind you.

“I’m going to go check that out, see what they found,” you tell them, earning only a wave of the hand from Steve and Carrillo.

You roll your eyes slightly and move over towards the door leading out the back, and just as you pull it open, a deafening boom meets your ears and you are blown backwards. It feels like the next few seconds pass in slow motion. Your feet leave the ground as a wave of heat rolls over your body, the explosion shattering everything around you. Glass and rocks fly around you but you don’t even register the pain of the debris or the ringing in your ears – the only thing that plays over and over in your head are the words Javi uttered to you the night before.

“Be careful bonita, for me.”

Then you hit the ground with a smack, blood roaring in your ears as the dust settles around you.

////

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[agoodgoddamnshot]

Mine - Geralt/Jaskier

[Gif isn’t mine]

Originally posted on my AO3 account

It’s around this time where Jaskier would be chased out of bed by someone or other. A cuckolded spouse, a betrothed, or even a parent or a guardian.

That’s if he even stayed, of course. More often than not, the spouse was always somewhere nearby. And despite Jaskier’s affinity for putting himself in danger an alarming amount of times, he is actually quite fond of keeping his life, and wants to keep it going for as long as he can.

On the occasions where he did stay, he made sure to wake before the sun and be gone before it had even peered over the horizon. He loves a lot of people. He isn’t going to lie and say that he doesn’t form some sort of deeper attraction to people. Sometimes it’s their smiles, or the way the colours of their eyes are more complex up close. Sometimes it’s the way they laugh or sing along with him when he plays in taverns or in courts.

But what he has now, with Geralt, it’s deeper than all of that.

It’s been almost a year. And even with all of that time behind him, some part of his brain will still wake him early in the morning. When the first of the morning sun’s light creeps along the floorboards of their room for the night, he wakes to find himself still ensnared firmly in Geralt’s arms. Peering over his shoulder, Jaskier grins at the sight of the Witcher still peacefully sleeping and hair skewed. The Witcher doesn’t sleep much, but when he does, it drags him under and almost drowns him.

Jaskier settles back into the embrace. It’s nice, not having to plan an escape route either through the hallways of the tavern, or even out of the window. Geralt shuffles slightly; a Witcher-y sense of his registering the slight change in Jaskier’s breathing. His arms around the bard tighten, holding him firmly against his chest. Soft, gentle puffs of breath warm the back of Jaskier’s neck.

There’s a soft knock on the door.

Jaskier absolutely does not whine. He does, though, sigh so sharply that it reminds him of being a teenager. He’ll have to answer the door. It’s no one from downstairs. Neither of them asked for a bath to be brought up. And they all agreed that they would get breakfast together downstairs later in the morning. The ride to the village was a long one; and with winter coming, even a normally short journey seems much longer and exhausting.

He slowly worms his way out of the hold around him, which is easier said than done. Geralt is clingy. Even if he manages to get out of his hold and move to sit at the edge of the bed, hands will paw at his back or hips and drag him back to bed if they manage to find a grip.

But Geralt seems too far gone in sleep to try and chase Jaskier now. As soon as he removes himself from the Witcher’s embrace, he shivers. Winter winds are becoming that much more biting as the weeks go by. That, and Jaskier is totally bare from last night. Sighing again, Jaskier grabs the first thing he sees, pulling it haphazardly over himself while also trying to not trip on discarded breeches and boots from the night before as he staggers over to the door. The tunic is oversized, almost slipping off a shoulder, but it’s long enough length-wise to get to his mid-thigh.

“Oh,” Jaskier blinks as he wrenches the door open. “Hi.”

Yennefer’s eyes drop down to his torso. A ghost of a smile shadows her lips. “I knew it,” she shakes her head. “Ciri wants to go to the market,” she glances over Jaskier’s shoulder, an eyebrow arching. “I can take her, if you’re both occupied.”

Jaskier’s mouth opens and closes for a second. For the first time in a long time, he can’t find anything worth saying. “Um,” he eventually manages to get out. Rubbing the back of his neck, he nods. “Yeah, it’s just that, um, Geralt is still asleep, and I’m,” he gestures vaguely to himself.

Yennefer lifts her chin. A smile fully curls along the length of her lips. “I’ll take her then.”

Jaskier nods. “Thanks.”

She waves him off, walking back down the hallway to her own room. They had enough coin for two rooms – one for him and Geralt, and another for Yennefer and Ciri. Ever since they found the sorceress a few days ago, dazed and battle-worn, wandering along a main road, Ciri has been by her side in every waking moment. She still adores both Geralt and Jaskier with everything she has, but there are times were Yennefer’s company is preferred. Gods know why, Jaskier thinks.

Jaskier shuts the door. He stands in front of it for a moment. I knew it.

It’s not like he and Geralt are shy with their affections. And Yennefer is the most observant person that Jaskier has ever met.

He pads back through the room, slipping back into bed. He tries not to disturb the mattress too much, but there’s a soft sigh of breath from the body on the other side. “Who was it?” The question is almost entirely lost into the pillow.

Jaskier settles back against his pillow. “Yennefer. Ciri wants to go to the market, and she offered to take her.”

Geralt hums. He turns. An arm reaches out for Jaskier, pawing blindly for a moment until he has the bard’s waist ensnared. A silent order to lie back down and go the fuck to sleep.

The Witcher’s hand rests over his abdomen. His fingers curl slightly, into the fabric of the tunic. Geralt lifts his head. A small frown suddenly creases his brow. “You’re wearing my shirt.” It’s not entirely a statement, but not a question either.  

And glancing down at himself, yeah, Jaskier thinks, he is wearing Geralt’s shirt. It was the first thing he grabbed from the floor. He didn’t notice before, but the shirt smells like the Witcher. “I suppose I am,” he says quietly, looking up at the man. His expression is totally unreadable. Jaskier reaches up, gently tucking a strand of Geralt’s hair back behind his ear. “I was hardly going to answer the door naked,” he says, a bit indignantly.

Geralt grunts. Jaskier can feel his face starting to warm. The Witcher is looking at him, unblinking, running amber eyes up and down his body. The shirt is certainly different from anything he usually wears. Form-fitting clothes in silks and linen, bright colours that are a more common sight in a royal court than out on the road. He and Geralt are almost the same height, but the Witcher is bigger. His shirt hangs off of one shoulder entirely, while the neck, slightly unbuttoned, leaves a deep V, revealing some of his chest.

Jaskier trails his fingers down the arch of Geralt’s cheekbone. “Could you...stop staring at me, please?” he asks. “Or at least, say something. You look insane.”

He doesn’t, for a time. Geralt’s fingers reach out and trail along the stretch of Jaskier’s collarbone. He moves the fabric of the shirt out of the way when it blocks his view of Jaskier’s skin. It’s terrain the Witcher knows all too well; nights have been spent tracking freckles that are flicked throughout Jaskier’s body; every stretch of skin mapped by fingers and lips.

But Geralt’s eyes drift away from his skin to the shirt. Most of the laces aren’t even done up properly, let alone strung together. Geralt loosens those that are, exposing more of Jaskier’s chest. He fights the urge to throw a hand over himself. Really Geralt, the words try and fight up through his throat. I’m allowed to have some dignity.

Then again, one word from the Witcher, and Jaskier would have the shirt off and flung over to some corner of the room.

Instead, there’s a small purring sound that comes out of the Witcher’s throat. “You should wear my clothes more often,” Geralt says gruffly, scooping an arm around Jaskier and lying back down.

Jaskier could make the argument that Geralt doesn’t own a lot of clothes to begin with. Though, that would leave Geralt in a perpetual state of being shirtless – and honestly, it’s an idea that sits quite well with him. Except for other people’s eyes perhaps straying to where they shouldn’t. Geralt wouldn’t pay them any mind, of course. Even now, when he is fully clothed, and they both sit in taverns idly drinking or eating away some of their hard-earned coin, Geralt always has an arm slung around the bard’s shoulders or waist. Or when they sit side by side, their hands will brush against each other’s.

There has always been this constant contact between them. Even during the night, if they weren’t touching before sleep washed over them, by the time they woke the next morning, it’s difficult to tell where one of them begins and another ends.

Geralt buries his nose into Jaskier’s hair. The long sigh that leaves him means that sleep hasn’t wandered far away; it’s intent on lapping over him again. It pulls at Jaskier too. Geralt is so warm, that any chill of the crisp morning outside. And bundled in the Witcher’s arms, underneath a collection of cotton blankets and furs lining the foot of the bed, he’s finding it harder and harder to stay awake.

He turns his head, burying his nose into Geralt’s neck. One of the Witcher’s hands slips underneath the tunic, resting on the small of Jaskier’s back. Geralt hums. “I do prefer you without clothes, though."