#i am not made for life like i just i can't fucking do it

[salty-ironstrange-shipper]

Hi. I saw this post asking for a fic that changed one's brain chemistry. Now there are a lot of fics I like; over 2000 bookmarked on ao3. And a lot of fics I love; I have 400+ of those fics tagged 'fave'. Of those 400, there are only around two dozen I would say legitimately changed me as a person. 1% changed the way I saw relationships and the world, changed the way I read and write. And I couldn't narrow it down to one - or ten - and didn't want to dump in OP's tags. So have this list of fics that permanently changed who I am as a person.

Warning: I love long fics, and some of these are the same specific tropes that I love or that really affect me personally (ex. arranged marriage). Expect angst, and especially angst with a happy ending. That said these fics are all objectively amazing.

(sorry to people who don't like long fics, but we are simply not the same. and that's OK.)

listed in order of fandom, then length.

Banshee In A Well - 43k, complete, DC, Tim Drake. Childhood trauma, childhood trauma, came back wrong/can't stop coming back! Tim is a little FREAK and I luv him.

straight on 'til morning - 102k, complete, DC, timkon/Kon-El. This is within the niche genre that for some reason appeals to me specifically, of characters having a LOT of feelings about sex and dealing with it poorly.

variations on a theme - 5k, complete, MCU, ironstrange. This is one of the fics that made me truly love ironstrange. Stephen sees through millions of possibilities and in doing so, falls in love with Tony. Evocative, beautiful, succinct.

The Art of Losing - 33k, complete, Red White and Royal Blue, firstprince. This fic made me cry. This fic BROKE MY HEART. And I WENT BACK TO IT. Multiple times! This is a breakup fic that breaks you down then puts you back together. You will come out different, and only you can say if it's for the worse or the better.

With so much of my heart (that none is left to protest) - 65k, complete, Red White and Royal Blue, firstprince. There are so many firstprince fics that essentially translate the events of the book into a different setting. And I love all of them. (My own fic, then fucking have me, also does this, self plug self plug self plug). I had to narrow this selection down to just one, and this is probably my absolute favorite.

You Don't Have To (Say Yes) - 192k, complete, Star Trek, spirk/Jim Kirk. This is within the niche genre that for some reason appeals to me specifically, of characters having a LOT of feelings about sex and dealing with it poorly (yeah, again).

THE MARRIAGE OF TRUE MINDS - 262k, complete, Star Trek, spirk. Star Trek arranged marriage epistolary fic. I read this 4 years ago, and I STILL think of a line from this fic constantly (we're aligned, we're aligned, we're aligned). If you don't read anything else for the rest of your life, read this.

DON'T THE WAVES PULL THE SAND? DON'T THE MOON PULL THE TIDES? - 58k, complete, Star Wars, finnpoe. I don't even go here. And yet. And yet. This is within the niche genre that for some reason appeals to me specifically, of characters having a LOT of feelings about sex and dealing with it poorly (yeah, AGAIN).

Not Part of the Plan - SERIES, 8 works, 337k, complete. Supernatural, destiel. This is an arranged marriage fic au series, that started with a oneshot pwp, and somehow grew into a sprawling, world and character building EPIC. And that to me is always a marker of quality. You KNOW it's good if the author couldn't stop themselves.

wander your own land - 379k, incomplete, Yellowjackets, shaunajackie and others. I told you I like long fics. Girl survival situationships, cannibalism, jealousy, cabin fever, hallucinations, trying to keep a fucking baby alive in some of the worst possible circumstances.

Infinite Variations of a Summer Day - 76k, complete, X-Men, Pietro Maximoff. I love Pietro, he is one of my favorite characters of all time, and this is such a great character fic. See Pietro slowly driven insane in a time loop that examines his relationships with himself, his team, his family, and his powers.

drop your own recs in the notes. and if you have any suggestions for griddlehark/the locked tomb, pLEA- *gunshots*

[ronearoundblindly]

Not In Front of the Fish...

Jake Jensen x roommate!Reader follow up to Watch the Fish (see previous or JJ Masterlist)

Summary: You've caught Jake doing something he shouldn't, but there's no reason you can't string him along...and along...and along until the line snaps.

Warnings for smut (many references to masturbation, protected sex), horrible puns (yes, hello, I'm Ro, welcome!), heavy innuendo, trolling this poor boi as hard as humanly possible, taking the lord's name in so much vain, kinda *aggressive* foreplay, aftercare, fluff, and whipped!Jake (deserves a warning because I sure as sh*t wasn't prepared 🫠).

Blame @bigtreefest...or thank Essie, ya know, whatevs! No beta, we die drowning in the fish tank. MINORS DNI. And yes, @whiskeytangofoxtrot555, the glasses stay on 🤭 Y'all may not realize this but I myself am an ultra-awkward nerd, so I identify with Jake's struggle and yet would absolutely, endlessly tease this mothaf**ka.

"Hey, Jakey. Whatcha doing?"

Well, thank fuck he's not still hard standing there with his metaphorical dick out, the last image from your laptop's screen seared into his eyeballs of some woman taking a load in her open mouth.

"Need me--" you steadily lick vanilla ice cream off a spoon, some caught at the corner of your wide open lips "--for anything?"

He stares. He stares so intently he almost falls over. Apparently, he's leaned into his staring.

"My help, perhaps?"

Your tongue rolls across the edge of the refilled spoon.

He thinks maybe he'll cry if you keep this up, but for the love of Christ, please keep this up.

"No," he squeaks. "Just..." Must you be wearing short-shorts? Is it essential that your tank top dip so low? "...saying 'hi.'"

His hand flings out in a wave, five fingers managing to point in eight different directions because he can't commit to any sort of normal human movement.

"So... Hi."

Some ice cream drips off the spoon down your chin and to your chest.

Jake is not here right now. Jake has died.

"Sure." You wipe up your mess and keep eating. "Sweet dreams, big guy. You look ready to hit the sack after a long...satisfying...shower." You let the spoon dangle from your mouth while brushing past him, which you have to do. You have to touch him because Jake can't fucking move for the life of him, and he swears to god you made your hand sweep across the front of his hip.

He jolts to follow the contact before overwriting his hind brain. His hand slaps the wall as he catches himself trying before collapsing into a begging puddle at your feet.

He should tell you. He'd rather die.

He should admit what he's done, admit what he wants to do, but when he stops pinching his eyes shut for strength, Jake turns to find you bent over in the doorway.

"Hello, sweethearts," you coo to the fish, "what would you like to do this evening? Maybe watch another movie?"

You wiggle your butt and make this happy sort of popping noise that Jake can't unhear.

Fuck, is this a thing he's gonna have to deal with now? Listening to you watching porn? His mind instinctively scans your room for a glimpse of any toy you may have left out. He's dying, yeah, but dying to know what they look like, if he's bigger than whatever you bury inside you now.

"Jake," you repeat in a breathy way that has him swallowing his tongue. You've stood back up, holding a bowl with oozing white liquid that teeters close to the edge as it melts.

His dick could top that off in jiffy if you'd like.

He coughs. "Yeah, uh, what?"

"Is there anything I can do for you?"

Fuck me, every muscle, bone, and braincell in his body screams at once.

All he manages is an anatomically-correct impression of a fish. No sound comes up from his desperate lungs. He flees to his room.

He hears you shut your door just as he shoves down the shorts he threw on and grabs a squirt of lotion from the bottle nearby.

Too many images speed through his brain all at once, cum and cream, sex and porn, your open mouth, your presented ass, that peek of cheek beneath soft fabric, the shadow along the seam where the material ran right through your folds--probably, at least, he's filling in gaps wherever he pleases--and the breathy sounds of 'Jakey' 'need me' 'help you' 'satisfying,' and 'anything.'

"Fuck me," he growls out in earnest, sparing no trick to get himself off as fast as possible. Maybe if he's quick he won't learn exactly how hot he finds all this. He already relies on you as the voice in his head.

It's like you're right there on the floor with him, cupping his balls and whispering in his ear.

So hard for me, huh? So heavy and in need of attention. Why did you wait to fuck your fist, Jakey? Had to hear me? Think of this dick filling me better than any toy...

He gasps and groans, shoving his face into the nearest side of mattress to muffle the carnal sound.

It puts his ear right next to his discarded headphones.

"Daddy was so rude just then, huh? I know. He's shy. He'll come see you tomorrow. He just needs to be all alone in his bed when he's tired. I know, I know. It makes mommy sad, too. She doesn't like to be all alone, but that's why I have you. Look at the camera and wish daddy goodnight..."

Oh, fuuuuuuuuck me, Jake wails into his sheets when he hears the sound of you blowing a kiss through the speakers.

Poor thing doesn't know you're torturing him on purpose, but at least he came...with his bare knees aching on the hardwood floor of his room and the nosepiece of his glasses digging into his eye sockets as he buries his shame in his bed.

You suggest he have the fish in his room for a while, like shared custody, but then he knows you would have access to listen to him via the livestream.

If he tells you you have to mute it every time, you'll know he might not have. If he refuses to keep the feed up or the camera functioning, you'll be suspicious of why. If he says fucking anything against your very thoughtful and adorable idea, it'll be a cold day in hell since he will endure all forms of torture just to see your elated smile as the tank is finally setup between his closet and his bed across the room from his desk.

The keystrokes from his work are too faint for the camera's microphone, and he proceeds to wear headphones for music, take calls outside, and never touch himself in his own room for weeks. Ok fine, two, he makes it two weeks.

Deprived of hearing you, which he grew rather dependent on, and needing to inconspicuously lengthen his showers, Jake is a mess.

Why didn't he record anything? Why would he??? He was supposed to get himself together like a man and either ask you out or get the fuck over it.

He even watches (but mostly listens to) porn through his headphones without touching himself in an attempt to fade the memory, but then you show up at his door, asking to visit with the 'kiddos' and checking with the Marauders if 'daddy' is treating them well.

He's not gonna make it, man.

You settle on his bed to read for a while because why the fuck would he say 'no' to you, and this is the part that does Jake in the most: his sheets smell like you after and turning in his desk chair to find you accidentally asleep in his bed just... He can't.

He's unwell thinking about how sweet you are, how fucking horrible he's being by fantasizing about you this way, how if he just had the balls to crawl over to kiss you, he'd--but he doesn't. He just gets worse.

He gets real messed up horny one evening when you're out at some fancy event with friends.

You leave wearing this dress that practically had him on his knees the way it molded to you and yet draped so smoothly in places. He thinks of his mouth molded to you that closely and his body laying so smoothly over yours.

Damn it. He has to do something. He goes into your room, and it's not that bad, he just picks up a t-shirt, that's all. He's not the world's worst perv or anything. It's not underwear, for god's sake, but on a fluke (because he has no idea how long he was in there) he climaxes at the sound of you yelling 'I'm home' from the kitchen and scrambles to the bathroom with his gym shorts wrapped around his thighs, hand still catching spurts of cum as he for sure doesn't calm down, with milliseconds to spare.

Thank fucking god you're slower to climb the stairs in heels.

He takes it back. He is the world's worst perv.

Your t-shirt mysteriously disappears until he can sneak it back into your laundry.

He runs out of floss and absently searches your drawer for--oh my god.

OH. MY GOD.

That...is a large, veiny dildo you have there. Oh fuck.

Jake slams the drawer shut without thinking.

"Everything alright?"

"Yeah, just...just gotta put floss on the grocery list."

"Use some of mine," you call out casually.

"It's fine!" His voice was too high and he answered too fast, but if he's not mistaken, you have now invited him to poke around in your things.

He feels slightly less pervy...and a hell of a lot hornier.

It reaches a point where coming in the shower isn't enough.

He falls asleep ok but wakes restless and craving friction. There's want and then there's need, and Jake fucking needs this or he'll never rest.

He goes on as quietly as possible, thinking that getting up, going to the bathroom, and turning on the exhaust fan will make far more noise than humping his sheets and biting his pillow.

The fish tank glows as usual at the foot of his bed.

Look away, kids, Jake thinks and immediately doesn't know whether to be sick or laugh. Daddy is gonna fucking die like this.

He knows it's pathetic. The entire thing has been pathetic from start to finish, but he's just too tired and too het up to care.

A few whines escape the insulation of his pillowcase. He misses the gentle patter of footsteps down the hall.

There's a soft knock followed by "Jake?"

God damn it. The one time he gives in, and he's already ruined it.

He tucks himself up into the band of his boxers which is not exactly subtle but can't be helped. Jake rolls out of his bed, finding his glasses in the dark to crack open the door with his body strategically behind it.

"Yeah, what's up?"

He can't make out a whole lot in the low light, but you don't say anything. Your arms are spread out to hang on either side of the frame, making your (again) very low-cut tank top his only focal point.

Well now he's sorta worried this has absolutely fuck-all to do with his problem. "Are you okay?"

"I...I thought..."

Your voice is soft and timid. It makes Jake want to wrap you in his arms, but he's still worried that you'll say you heard him and it's not okay and he's gross and this is all way, way out of line.

He holds his breath to better listen.

"I hoped you would have needed me by now."

What. Air rushes out of him like he's been tackled.

Sorry, WHAT?

"What?" the question finally falls out as he leans intensely again, shifting so the door doesn't slam in your face, his bare chest and lower half now visible as much as they can be. "You...what now??"

Your arms fall and you step forward. It looks to him like you move with trepidation, that your head is lowered in embarrassment, that somehow you're shy about your confession. Maybe you are, but only the tiniest amount compared to him.

"Tell me if I'm wrong, Jake." You slap one hand to his chest with a crinkling noise, and he swiftly moves to take the wrapped condom. "Tell me if you don't want this," you continue, lowering your voice and hand until your thumb grazes the exposed head of his cock.

Lightning strikes and super-charges his need.

"But if you don't th--"

He'll be damned if you finish that thought. Jake scoops your jaw into one big hand, angling you just-so, barreling you both into his door as it swings into his closet with a wobbling bang. He's clumsy and his grip goes everywhere to bully you flush with his body yet not drop your timely offering.

His kisses are feverish and sloppy. By the feel of you groping at his back and shoulders, you're not mad about it. He fumbles with the wrapper behind your back. It takes his attention away for a few seconds.

"I prepped for you," you whisper hoarsely. "I'm ready."

Jake has no legs at that point and takes you with him in a heap to the floor. While stripping away his boxers, he realizes his naked ass is high in the air of his room.

All he can see in his mind is fish pressed against the glass, staring, judging. Gah, not here.

He maneuvers into your hold again and says, "hang on," crawling to the hall runner so the 'children' won't see. No, he can't make it any further because his length is snuggled between your fucking thighs and somehow the hallway is a fucking mile long to your room. No, he's not immune to your whines from where your head is tucked in the crease of his neck.

Here's fine.

As gracefully as he can, Jake collapses onto you, collecting the noises he missed so much directly from the source.

For being made of such little fabric, your shorts are in his way, and he's genuinely annoyed to have to lift from you again, even though it's necessary to discard them and necessary to get the now-open condom rolled along his aching cock.

His glasses are already smeared from haphazardly exploring your skin. If Jake couldn't see before, he's all but blind now. The only garment close enough to try and clean them is your tank top, but he ignores it because it's still dark. He needs to feel you more than anything else in the world.

Lightly, your fingertips flicker down his abs and lead him to close the gap between you.

Jake groans as he lines himself up and easily notches into your welcoming heat. As aroused as you are, he still edges himself deeper and deeper in barely-controlled strokes, grabbing the railing at his side for leverage and stability.

He grunts instead of articulating how magnificent you feel. He moans instead of voicing what an utter blessing it is to finally fuck you. He gasps with the rolls of your hips because you taking control while beneath him just...unravels him.

This was too long coming, and he wasn't prepared.

Jake's apology for being fast to finish perches at the tip of his tongue when you cut off his words and the last of circulation to his brain.

You shake and pant, mewling 'yes' and his name, while your body squeezes him like a vice. He's being pumped to completion without moving another muscle, and, good fucking god, he has to hang on, falling to his forearm, keeping his open mouth hovering over yours.

Jake thinks maybe he just drowned and got brought back to life.

Right there, in his face are your precariously covered tits, nipples rock hard and taunting him. He doesn't care what his dick's doing anymore; he wrenches a strap down your chest and lavishes your plush flesh with attention.

Too long coming and in no way prepared... Neither were you.

Your hands brace his head, fingers buried in his short hair as you wiggle and hump at his semi-stiff cock inside you. Jake hisses in over-stimulation but doesn't stop you. He swears he will never, ever stop you.

His attentions on your breasts slow but he can't seem to let you go for a long time, long after your legs fall away from him, limp and twitching.

A pair of goodbye pecks is his parting gift before Jake nuzzles up the column of your neck and takes what little breath you've regained, curling his arms around you as his tongue curls with yours.

When he adjusts again, he realizes how sore he's getting from kneeling on the floor, and sits up to help you, too.

"Let me get--I'll just--"

Jake can almost reach a towel inside the bathroom from this position with his long arms, but he's sure to warm up the tap and trash the condom before returning to gently wipe you. He may have made a quick pass at his lenses in there as well.

You look dazed and delightfully sated, basking in the streak of light from the bathroom, leaning on your palms like you're on a beach somewhere.

"Fuck, you're stunning," he says without thought.

He...lingers a while to clean you up, overtly mapping these bits of you he hasn't seen yet.

"What took you so long?"

Jake tosses the towel up into the sink behind him and manhandles you into his arms.

"I might've ruined everything." He starts to lower you into your bed, but you don't release your arms from around his neck. "You could've kicked me out."

He's not going to argue. He won't say 'no' to you.

"Come here, you dork. You can't keep me waiting anymore."

Jake climbs into the cramped, cozy space with you, mentally noting that a bigger bed is definitely on the shopping list.

A/N: I am strategically leaving out my thoughts on the next morning for now because I'm just too excited, eeeee!

[tinycoffeeroom]

farm love | italian bach

face claim: none ♡

request: here !

requested: Could I request an Italian Bach imagine inspired by Arthur’s vlog to Jezza Clarksons farm?? Maybe on that trip or maybe they just go on a cute little remote trip in the country farm? In their own private cabin (maybe a hot tub on the deck?👀) I feel like Bach is always a great bf but when he’s with friends he’s in his comedy/entertaining mindset so it’s subtle sweet gestures whereas when it’s just them he’s super clingy and boldly romantic

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📍 Cotswolds

👤 georgeclarkeey, arthurtv liked by y/nstagram, arthurtv and 298,017 others

italianbach me and my 2 boyfriends were invited down to the lovely Diddly Squat Farm to experience farm life and preview #/ClarksonsFarm season 3! Huge thank you to primevideouk for the invite!

y/nstagram and where are my pic creds? ↳ italianbach sorry who are you? ↳ y/nstagram oh, you're sleeping in one of the other huts tonight ↳ italianbach babe no george's snoring will interrupt my beauty sleep :(((( ↳ y/nstagram too bad didnt ask xx ↳ italianbach now look what you've done georgeclarkeey arthurtv ↳ georgeclarkeey wtf did we do?????? ↳ italianbach idk be sexy or something?

fan bach not even posting his gf but has time to post these two muppets

fan we want y/n!!!!!! ♥️ y/nstagram

fan george please give me a chance

fan arthur wrapping his arms around his two little omegas, we love a true alpha ↳ arthurtv what the fuck ↳ georgeclarkeey can't tell if i'm offended by being called an omega... ↳ italianbach i am?? we all know i'm a beta!!

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You were surprised to have been invited along to the Clarkson's Farm premiere alongside Arthur, George and Isaac. You didn't really have a following, mostly people coming from Isaac's constant posts about you to see who his girlfriend was.

The coach ride there had certainly been... something. Arthur annoyed the others by vlogging the entire thing, constantly asking Isaac and George to repeat their jokes so he could catch it on camera and having to redo shot after shot when the footage came out shaky or his finger had been covering the mic at the bottom of his phone.

You'd chosen to sit behind the group of lads, plugging your headphones in to play a small town farmer romance audiobook. If you're going to be subjected to dirt and the trio for the weekend, you were going to take advantage and daydream about a buff farmer sweeping you off your feet.

Isaac made sure to keep an eye on you, well aware that you were too engrossed in your audiobook to notice him. Knowing you were slightly camera shy as well, often choosing to be behind the lens and film his tiktoks, he chose to text you instead of drawing attention to you, conscious of the fact that Arthur could whip out his phone for another vlog clip at any moment.

Midway through the first meeting of the MC and the strong, beefy farmer, your phone lit up. At the top of the screen, you saw a few Instagram notifications and two texts from your boyfriend.

Isaac <3 You ok babe? x We should be stopping at Oxford services in about 20 minutes x

Looking up at your boyfriend, his attention was half on you and half on George who was, once again, jokingly shouting at Arthur who had asked him to repeat himself for the 20th time since you'd stepped onto the coach. Smiling briefly at the trio, you looked back down at your phone to reply.

My Love <3 I'm good angel xx May nip in and grab a sandwich or something, I'm kinda hungry :( x

Two seconds after the read receipt appeared beneath your message, a hand thrust a packet of Malteasers between the seat gaps. Grabbing the packet from your boyfriend, you sent him a grateful smile, quickly tucking into the chocolate.

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After a day of trekking back and forth across farm land, cudding cute little piglets and being stuffed full of the most gorgeous food and wine Clarkson's Farm had to offer, you and Isaac say goodbye to George and Arthur, waving them off as you walk up the little path to your cabin.

Despite it being later on in the day, the sun was still shining thanks to the British summertime. You immediately open your suitcase, grabbing a bikini and swapping your muddy tracksuit bottoms and band top you'd stolen from Isaac at some point. Isaac catches onto your thinking, also grabbing some trunks from his suitcase and changing into them.

You grab the bottle of champagne gifted by Prime Video and open the back patio doors which lead to small set of patio chair and a large hot tub.

Whilst Isaac double checks that the front door is locked, you slide into the water, sighing as the warmth soothes your aching muscles. It had been a while since you had spent this long on your feet and the last time you checked your watch, you'd done 35,000 steps.

Closing your eyes, you allow yourself a moment of silence, taking in the faraway bleats of the sheep in the meadow opposite your cabin. A warm breeze flows through the air, making a few stray hairs on your face sway gently.

You hear the doors behind you open and close and an affronted noise comes from your boyfriend. Cracking one eye open, you look back to see him frowning at you in the hot tub.

"What's up, babe?" You already know, but it's sweet to see how clingy Isaac gets when it's just the two of you.

"Budge up." He queues up a playlist on his phone, connecting it to the outside speaker before stepping into the hot tub, staring at you with a playful pout.

You comply, moving to the side so he can sit in your spot. As he settles down, one arm snakes around your waist, lifting you up and dragging you onto his lap under the water. His other arm joins the first, a strong interlink ensuring you won't go anywhere. Not that you'd want to.

"Better?" Grinning up at him, you slide your hand to rest at the base of his neck, fingers tangling in the chocolate brown curls there.

Isaac hums in lieu of a verbal response, face coming to rest in the curve of your neck. Feather light kisses trace along your skin, starting at the juncture between your neck and shoulder, trailing up to below your ear.

You giggle at the sensation, twirling the strands of hair entangled in your fingers round and round as he playfully nips your ear lobe once before pulling away. You untangle your fingers from his hair, moving your hand to the front to swipe his fringe away slightly to get a good look at him.

His eyes seem to twinkle in the now fading sunlight as he takes a moment to trace over your face. "You're so beautiful."

You can feel the blush rising hot up your neck, splaying out dusty pink on your cheeks. Even after being with him for so long, he still manages to fluster you every time he calls you beautiful. Normally, it's a throwaway comment, something he mentions whilst in the middle of something else. But here, just the two of you in the quiet British countryside, your heart seems to skip a beat, thumping a clumsy rhythm in your chest.

Wrinkling your nose to hide the way the statement made you feel, you run a finger gently across his cheekbone, dragging it softly down his cheek to the corner of his jaw. "And you're handsome."

His eyes are glued to your cheeks, smile widening as the blush only deepens, now crimson pink and burning hot. "I mean it. I know I say it a lot, but right here, in this moment, you're ethereal. I'm just so lucky you finally agreed to date me. Knowing that I get to wake up everyday and see you when you first wake up, that I get to walk into any room you're in and watch your face light up when you see me, and that I get to fall asleep holding you every night... Honestly, I don't think I could ask for a better life."

Your eyes are lined with unshed tears, mouth trembling as words of adoration spill from your boyfriends lips. He's a known secret romantic, you had the anniversary cards filled with paragraph after paragraph of him waxing poetic about you; but to hear it come directly from him, his voice warm and syrup soaked, your heart beat another treacherous beat, yearning to burst out and reach for the man below you.

"Isaac... I love you. So much." Your hand cups his cheek, thumb rubbing lightly over the skin below. "I couldn't ask for a better life either. This is the best relationship I have ever been in, and I have you to thank for that. Thank you for showing me a love I only thought was possible in movies."

Leaning down, you press a soft kiss to his lips, revelling in the delighted hum it pulls from your boyfriend. His arms wrap tighter around you, twisting you in a way so the two of you are chest to chest. He pulls you in deeper, mouth warm and insistent against your own.

When it feels like he's pulled every last bit of breath from your lungs, he pulls away slightly, murmuring a soft "I love you too" as he presses one final kiss to the corner of your mouth.

You move your head to rest in the crook of his neck, enjoying the warmth of the water and your boyfriend's body as the sun sets slowly behind you.

You're almost lulled to sleep, cocooned in the arms of your lover. Isaac's hands move in a repeated rhythm along your back, dragging up and down in slow circles as he hums along to the song playing softly from the speaker in the corner.

Before you can drift off, he mutters just loud enough to be heard over the bubbling of the hot tub. "Wanna go in the pool tomorrow?"

Nuzzling down further into the crook of his neck, you nod your head lightly, already smiling at whatever stupid Tiktok's he'll make you film. "Fuck yeah."

His chest vibrates with laughter in response and you close your eyes, pressing one last kiss to the skin beneath your lips as the two of you welcome the sky full of stars.

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a/n: first italianbach fic ! welcome to my gaggle of men mr isaac xo first of the ac3may hc's and my lil fingies are flying working through the rest !

[bylrlve]

403-404 thoughts

(Prev post here)

Murray’s prophecy of the kids playing too much Nintendo, eating too much junk food, smoking some ganja, pounding some beers, and experimenting sexually is actually eerily accurate. Nintendo, as @gayofthefae brilliantly observed, has been equated to the Nina project. Eating junk food? The boys presumably survived on the (quickly cold) pizzas and the sodas Argyle delivered to their house - and if they stopped at gas stations… these boys would have little to no money on their persons, so junk is all they could really afford, one assumes. Smoking ganja? Jon and Argyle. Pounding beers? Not the Cali gang, but Lucas did.

Experimenting sexually? No one has sex during s4 - Jopper makeout but that’s hardly experimenting, and certainly not for adults, and he was specifically talking about the kids. None of them are in the mood for it, naturally, but I wouldn’t be surprised if this is foreshadowing… something between a certain pair of boys. It couod be a cheeky reference to Will growing into his sexuality but, and forgive my crudeness here, right-hand solo sex doesn’t really fit, especially since he was talking about Jonathan, El, Mike, and Will as a group, implying a plural. In fact, this scene takes place directly after El and Mike fight, and after she is arrested. Experimenting is a very loaded word…

Never fails to get me how Mike just threw her last letter into the trash - it had already been explained that he may not see her for months, and here he is, treating her last missive to him with such disrespect. This attitude isn’t even new - he crumpled up and tossed aside the letter she’d painstakingly written and drawn rainbow designs on in the opening minutes. Meanwhile… there are Funko Pops of him proudly showing off the new painting Will made for him.

“You’re packed already?” “Yeah, I mean, I never really unpacked.” is the most blatantly subtext-ridden thing to come out of Mike’s mouth all season, and it’s the biggest piece of in-verse proof that he was fronting hard during 402 - and that was the lovey-doviest he was with El.

Can we all just take a moment to appreciate Mike saying that home isn’t home without Will? Fuck the monologue, that is the most romantic thing Mike says all season.

@bylertruth3r made the above video, showing the eerily similarity between the Byler 404 reunion and a scene in 13 Reasons Why - and this scene was originally scripted as Mike coming up to Will kneeling oj the ground, meaning it was conceived as them being much closer together.

I don’t think we appreciate, enough, that Mike monologued to Will in this scene. Not only are Jasons’s ily to Chrissy at the pep rally, Jancy’s ilys, Argyle and Eden’s LAFS, Max’s saving herself from Vecna with flashbacks, and Dustin’s ILY to Eddie all contrasts to the Mike monologue sequence in 409… but this is, too. Here are Mike’s three big monologues lain out:

"El? I don't know if you can hear this, but... but if you can, I want you to know I'm here, okay? I'm right here. And... I love you. El, do you hear me? I love you. I'm sorry I don't say it more. I... It's not because I'm scared of you. I'm not. I've never felt that way. Never. But I am scared that one day you'll realize you don't need me anymore. And I thought if I said how I felt, it would somehow make that day hurt more. But the truth is, El, I don't know how to live without you. I feel like my life started that day we found you in the woods. You were wearing that yellow Benny's Burgers T-shirt. And it was so big it almost swallowed you whole. And I knew right then and there, in that moment, that I loved you. And I've loved you every day since. I love you on your good days. I love you on your bad days. I love you with your powers, I love you without your powers. I love you for exactly who you are. You're my superhero. And... I can't lose you. Okay? Do you hear me? I can't lose you. You can do anything. You can fly. You can move mountains. I believe that. I really do. But right now, you just have to fight. Okay? El. Do you hear me? You need to fight! You have to fight. Fight!” Tearing up, not crying.

“Do you remember the first day that we met? It was… it was the first day of kindergarten. I knew nobody. I had no friends. And I just felt so alone, and so scared, but… I saw you on the swings, and you were alone too,. You were just swinging by yourself. And I just walked up to you, and I asked. I asked if you wanted to be my friend. And you said yes. You said yes. It was the best thing I’ve ever done.”

“Hey also, about the last few days… No, no, no. You didn’t deserve anything. Listen, the truth is… the last year has been weird, you know. And I mean, Max and Lucas and Dustin… they’re great, they’re great, itd just… it’s Hawkins. It’s not the same without you. And I feel like I was worrying too much about El, and I don’t know. I feel like I… lost you, or something. I have no idea what’s going to happen next. But whatever it is, I think we should work together. I think it’ll be easier if we’re a team. Best friends. Cool.”

Some quick observations:

1 and 2 occur under near-identical circumstances - El and Will are under Vecna’s control and he’s trying to give them strength. 3 is entirely unprompted. The first occurs under a level of duress similar to that of a gun being held to El’s head, as gayofthefae observes here

The rain fight is all over the s4 bedroom scene, and it’s very clearly on both of their minds. Mike has spent the past nine months addressing every criticism of Will’s - he’s friends with Dusfin, he’s playing D&as, he only kissed El when she initiated, and broke it quickly, and he even got angry at Lucas for prioritising others over the Party - although his complaint, unlike Will’s, was irrational and unfair. He relapsed at the airport and roller rink by trying to be normal, but this scene is him course-correcting for that. Mike’s calling himself a self-pitying idiot and thanking Will for being sensible is likelt not only referring to the earlier scene in Will’s room, but to the S3 and 402 fights. If that is the intention, it makes one wonder what Mike was self-pitying about in the latter. @howtobecomeadragon discusses it in-depth here

Right from my very first watch, the proposal imagery in the s2 speech - ‘I walked up to you, and I asked. I asked if you wanted to be my _, and you said yes… you said yes. It was the best thing I’ve ever done.’ - jumped out at me. M*levens regularly theorise that the series will end with Mike and El either getting married, or engaged, citing that Lucas line from s1 as foreshadowing - but we see in s3 that Mike relies on Lucas to push him through every stage of the apology, while he doesn’t with Will, and we see bouquet imagery subverted with that gift of flowers at the airport (see below).

TOO MUCH? Mike spent the s3-4 break backsliding in the whole ‘say ILY to El’ plot… but did address the problems Will had with him. Not only that… he came to the conclusion that he worried too much about El? Specifically because he lost Will as a result? I said in the previous post that Bylers don’t talk enough about “Who… who said that I didn’t?” We definitely don’t talk enough about the anti-m*leven implications of this line, because they’re bonkers. Mike worries a lot about El when she’s away at Nina, but at home he’s distinctly distant from her -

while only drawing closer to Will

This is how he looked at Will during the 404 monologue btw: (gif credit to @palettehao and gayofthefae)

Lastly, I’ll finish this analysis post by swinging back to 402, and to the fact that Mike picking that bouquet? It doesn’t make much sense, timeline-wise. In fact, I honestly can’t figure out when he picked them.

Mike only says, on March 22, that he picked them ‘in Hawkins’ before launching into a nervous, distracting spiel about picking 70:30 purple to yellow, only maybe he picked too much yellow*, etc.

On the morning of March 21 he was still in his underwear reading over a letter to El, and was delayed going to with. He had classes at school, and was preoccupied during lunch bargaining with Eddie, bargaining wi5 various students, and finally bargaining with Erica. Between school and Hellfire he could plausibly have picked them, but that would have required cycling across town and back, when Nancy drove him to school - he didn’t have his bike at school. He also had nowhere to put them, except the backpack that presumably had school supplies in it - those flowers would not have looked so fresh had he shoved them in a backpack. Dustin also doesn’t mention him being gone prior to Hellfire. After hellfire, he went home to be there by 9 - he had to have done, otherwise he wouldn’t have been allowed on the flight.

His flight was at 6:30 and Indiana -> Cali takes 4 hrs 10 minutes. He would have been awake from very early in the morning with Karen, gathering his stuff, and then driving to the airport with adequate time to check-in and board the plane. There isn’t a hope in hell of Karen letting him randomly cycle across town in the dark for an undetermined length of time just to pick some fucking flowers, lmao. There is a strong chance, however, that Karen, the romantic, let him buy flowers and a pen in the Indianapolis airport before boarding the flight. Maybe she even purchased them.

The kicker? The bouquet of flowers had a fancy, polished-looking greeting card attached, one professionally made.

There is something deliciously meta about those flowers. M*levens have adopted yellow and purple as a symbol of the relationship - even though Mike only wore those colours to please her when he was being ‘hokey’ and a ‘knock-off’, to quote Argyle and the costume designer. I’m not even sure El truly favours those colours, as she doesn’t wear them much and doesn’t have any notable items in those colours. For all we know, she was asked if she had any favourite colours and simply picked two that came to mind.

What’s more, it seems very likely that Mike simply lied to her about putting in the effort of getting them himself, and instead relied on something pre-made and commercial. It isn’t impossible that he picked them, however (though the timing is a mystery) - we are shown at the end of the season that the field outside Hopper’s cabin has very similar flowers. But those… well… those have their own implications

*talk about subtext lmao…

To finish, I want to share a delicious finding from @sapphicjopper on twitter from last may - the working name for st4 was Tareco. There’s a song called Tareco & Mariola, all about a girl who knows her lover isn’t right for her, who knows that she doesn’t need him, and who is leaving him - ‘it’s not you who will give me the spring, the beautiful flowers I dreamed of in summer’. It’s reminiscent of the opera Nina - about a woman waiting for her lover, not accepting that he won’t return and be how she desperately wants him to be.

[jyuansgf]

bf!sampo x f!reader. 18+ minors dni. ⌗ pussy eating, cunnilingus, squirting, sampo just being a certified vagena eater i thimk

notes: one am and this thought came to my mind.. i need him so BAD sampo stans i understand you now 🧍🏻‍♀️ hhhheee me when he

sampo would definitely be a GOOD pussy eater. source? me !!! sampo who just can't keep his hands to himself whenever you two hang around, especially if you're wearing his favourite scent of yours. you can't even count how many times how much sampo had made you cum by just using his fingers and his mouth, especially his tongue :( he probably nips on your clit like his life depends on it. breastfeeding? no! he wants your cunt, or maybe both. you don‘t even need to buy those clit sucker toys when he‘s literally right here.. 😞

going out on a date with sampo means a good time for you both ^___^ sampo would ask you to wear short skirts or dresses, you would ask him why and he would only reply ‘for no reason’ you'd say no a few times.. but honestly, who can resist him and the way he begs you please? :(( he would even send you voice messages of him just saying ‘please, please, please, please, please, baby?’ with that stupidly attractive voice of his! how atrocious but you are just as down bad for each other so it's only fair.

he would buy you lots of cute skirts for you to wear—for you to look even more prettier around him, he doesn't mind it when you aren't wearing a skirt whenever you two just hang out in your house, as long as he can push that cute panties of yours aside, he’s fine ^__^ but his favorite is when you two go watch a movie in the cinema (this man is the type to get freaky on cinemas, don't ask me questions) he would definitely finger-fuck you on your seat as you two and the people around you watch! :( pls tell him if you're going to squirt, he's a bit dumb but he knows how to keep it clean :p but don't worry! he'll definitely drag you to the restroom before you go home, he'll make you cum with his tongue and make you squirt as many times as you want ^__^ he'll buy you anything and do everything for you to compensate for your aching thighs and swollen pussy, worth it & the after care is on point.

[petew21-blog]

Like father like son, Part 1

Father P.O.V.

My ex-girlfriend is a witch. Fucked up right? Yeah I never believed in any of this and she knew. And after cheating on her she said she would "make me believe". What a load of crap. I thought. Well, not anymore. Me and my son found ourselves in each others bodies. It happened just as we were normally chatting. We weren't that close, cause I was working most of the time and he was out with his friends enjoying his teen years. I wanted to get close to him, but he seemed to not want to open up to me.

If you have seen a movie Vice Versa where the Dad and son swap bodies while touching the skull. Or is it a transformation? Ah, doesn't matter. Well it happened a bit like that too. We swapped bodies literaly. The clothes stayed where they were previously.

After the initial shock and realisation that it was my girlfriend who caused it, we went to get information from her. My son had to drive, cause his body didn't have a license yet. The start was horrible. He couldn't even keep his eyes on the road, so I had to yell at him what to do. But eventually we got to her house.

On the front door was a note that said:"Went on a holiday for a month. And to my lovely ex-boyfriend - having sex with someone else makes it irreversible :) have fun"

Yeah, so we found out that we were fucked until she got back from her holiday. A month in my teen son's hormone filled body and him in my horny middle aged one. Our chances are very slim I tell you

We got back home, staying quiet on the ride home. We went into the living room and got on the sofa. Then we made a deal. We had to respect our bodies as if it were our own, no sex allowed, no drugs and alcohol. We had to scratch the alcohol, has David said he wants to enjoy the adulthood. But besides that we agreed on everything. We then proceeded to tell each other the details of our schedules. I had to mentally prepare for being in high school again and he had to prepare for a real job. I was actually kind of happy to get back there. I missed being a teen, having less responsibilities etc. Being you, enjoying life, music, love, sex. Ah, fuck. That's gonna be hard

We even had a talk about respecting each others privacy, but after we thought about it, we came to a conclusion that there was no way we could avoid looking at our new bodies naked. We had to take shower some day, or take a shit. All of these are gonna be pretty intimate so that's why.

We agreed that our bedroom's are gonna me our own places that the other can't got to.

And so we went on and parted our ways while leaving to our bedrooms. Maybe we shoould have went to each other's bedroom, but we haven't thought about that. All our clothes were in the other room, but neverminf. My room has its own access to the bathroom so I'll enjoy that.

I took off my shirt first. My sons's athletic lean teen body just being there. My finger tips touching my haird, my lips my cheeks. Tracing my neck, through the ridges I now had, going down to my beautiful abs covered in hair. I was getting hard, is it weird being hard from touching your son's body? Jesus that sounds horrible. But I am not touching my son, he is touching himself, I am just the one in control now.

I got on the ground and took off my jeans. Revealing black boxers with KISS logo and two hairy and long legs. Quite similar to mine actually. Genetics is strong I guess

I headed to the bathroom to get a proper look and clean my new body. I can't neglect my son now.

I took off his boxers. His dick flacid now, but still big. "That's my boy". I went to the bath and turned on the water. But I had no intention in lying in the water now. I had much exploring to do. I started from my feet. The beautiful and clean feet. No hard skin. I took the water and sopa into my hands and brought it up everytime I explored a part of his body. Everything wet marked a place I already knew now

I was now soaping his body above the waist line, enjoying the tight skin of his body. Being young is so amazing. He is mostly hairless, if you don't count some private areas.

I was now soaped up completely, just scrubbing the body up and down. Enjoying every movement I took.

Wow his butt is really nice, almost woman-like. Maybe I could let some guy fuck me. Wait, I can't do that. We can't have sex in each others bodies or we would seal the deal. But masturbation is not off the table I guess.

I took my middle and index finger to try out the resistsance of his hole. Nah, this hole already knows what is about to happen. And then it hit me. Fuck, his prostate his so sensitive. I went and pushed my fingers inside, while my other hand started jerking my already throbbing cock.

It couldn't have been long cause I was almost collapsing from the abundance of strong emotion and stimuli. I shot cum into the bath and then got down into the water.

What a body. Maybe this month isn't gonna be so bad after all

I got out of the shower, to find my body in his own clothes staring at me

"Wow, dad. I see you didn't waste any second huh? Hope you enjoyed it"

"Dave, it's... I'm sorry, it's the hormones. I haven't been this horny for so long. I couldn't control it"

"It's fine dad. I am gonna do the same tonight"

The rest of the week went on pretty smoothly. There were some embarassing moments, like hearing myself having an orgasm in the other bedroom, or finding open porn videos on tv, but besides that not much. I was enjoying being a young guy in high school again and having David's friends around was really great. We hung out all the time. But his friend Liam seemed like he wanted to be more than friends with David. Which complicated things a bit. I was in David's gay body now and his body wanted Liam. But I was holding on

One day we were on a beach just enjoying the weekend. We played some beach volleyball and then we got back to our towels to sunbathe

Andrew, my straight friend, then said:"David? Isn't that your dad with a new chick? Damn, he scored a nice one this time. Would like this one for myself too. Look at those tits."

And he was right. David was walking around with a blonde woman that had a hand on his waist. What took me off guard was that my body started making out with her and grabbing her tits. Not caring who might see.

Wait, does this mean what I think it means? Are we really stuck like this now? I just hope he didn't have sex with her

A story request from inbox: Hi, can you write a story about a closeted widow muscle dad swapping with his straight twink son and somehow their nethaw body fits their role? The dad in his twink son's body came out as a bottom gay and the sun in his muscular dad's for found a girlfriend which he fvcks every night. Thank you

[iwoulddothingstothisman]

Figuring out

"Sam, Sam."

"Psst, Sam"

"What Dean?"

"I think I love him."

"That's great he loves you too, go back to sleep."

"I don't think I can."

"Then for fuck sake, shut up," Sam grunted and turned over on his shitty motel bed to face away from Dean's bed.

"Then shut up," Dean mocked under his breath, "bitch." He flopped back down onto the pillow only to stare up at the celling he had just enough light from the freeway to see.

Not four hours later the sound of wings fluttering reefed both boys from their sleep. Dean jolted up knife already in hand only to see Cas, his Cas maybe even, standing at the foot off his bed looking for all the world like a lost child.

"Cas, not that it's not good to see you, but why are you here, it's like five in the morning," Dean grunted while rubbing his eyes with the hand not holding his knife.

"I wanted to see you, though waking you was not intentional." His head was tilted a little to the side, an adorable pout on his lips. Thank god for the dark room or Cas would've seen the blush creeping up his neck.

"Well I'm up now, what d'ya want for breakfast, Sam?" Dean asked while swinging his legs over the side of the bed.

"Whatever they have, salad-wise," Sam said, snuggling deeper into the covers.

"Naturally." Dean put his knife onto the bedside table so it was within Sam's reach if need be then trundled his way into the bathroom after grabbing the same jeans he wore yesterday and his only clean shirt.

He came back out, did up his boots and grabbed the keys for Baby.

"C'mon Cas, we'll let Sammy get his beauty rest," He said while walking past the Angel who followed a half step behind Dean

The drive to the diner was thankfully uneventful, no vampires trying to slash their tyres and no women in white trying to seduce them.

The diner was even more dull. The standard traffic of office monkeys that hate their life but can't bring themselves to end it and early morning joggers who think they're different for getting oat milk and tweeting about it on their aggressively nature themed blog that calls to the end for all farming. The only stand-outish part of it all was the cashier. A woman in her maybe late 20's by Dean's guess with bright blue hair, a pro-Palestine hat that said 'from the river to the sea' with the Palestinian flag under it and a full cyber-sigilism tattoo sleeve.

Dean had been so busy studying her appearance that he hadn't even noticed the line had moved enough that it was their turn to order.

"So what will you and your boyfriend be having today?" She asked with a tinge of an Aussie accent and Dean faltered.

"We- uh- he's- we're ah not together." He stumbled to get his words out.

"Sorry mate, what can I get ya?" She asked again, this time her accent came through thicker.

"I'll just get a bacon and egg muffin with a coffee, black, two sugars please and, do you guys do a Caesar salad?"

"We do, yeah."

"The largest one of those I can get, to go please." He passed her the money and pocketed his change before walking over to the table furthest from the door.

"It is odd that she thought we were together," Cas stated. Dean almost choked.

"Yeah, yeah it is." dean replied praying to a god he knew didn't care that Cas would drop it, of course, God doesn't care so Cas did no such thing.

"I wonder what it is about us that made her think that, I've been told that I 'look the type' whatever that means, maybe that was it."

"Yeah, yeah I guess you do." Dean paused for a second but kept talking before Cas could open his mouth. "Cas can I talk to you for a second?" He asked.

"You already are." Cas said, tilting his.

"Not the point, the bible doesn't say anything about being gay is a sin, right?" Dean asked.

"Not the original one, no. Why?"

"Because I think I love you." He rushed out.

"Yes, I love you too, I believe." Cas said, making Dean chuckle and shake his head.

"No Cas, I'm IN love with you."

"Oh well in that case then I too, am in love with you, perhaps not in the exact same way that a human might be, but rest assured I have loved you since I pulled you from perdition." Cas admitted with a soft smile.

Dean's tunnel vision on Cas was broken when the same cashier set their food on the table between then with just enough force to almost startle Dean out of his seat.

"Have a good one," she said before speed walking away back to the counter where a chef was relentlessly ringing the bell.

"Come, we'll continue this in the car." Cas said while getting up and grabbing the bag.

Cas was waiting next to the passenger door when Dean finally pried himself from his seat in the diner. He swiftly unlocked Baby and jumped in to start the car. Cas wasn't half a second behind him and had the door closed before Baby had started.

"Did you mean in when you said you've loved me since you pulled me from hell."

"Of course, why else would I say it?"

"Then why, why, didn't you say anything?" Dean exclaimed.

"I didn't want to make you uncomfortable."

"Good grief Cas." Was all Dean said before grabbing Cas by the lapels of his coat and kissing him. He pulled back a second later only to be pulled straight back in by Cas' hand in his hair.

The food was cool by the time they got back to the motel and Sam had packed all of his stuff and some of Dean's

"Good to see you two are still alive, I was about to send out a search party." He said with a knowing smirk.

"Shut up, bitch."

"Whatever, jerk."

Sure they still had a lot to work out, especially when it came to Dean's issues but they took the first step and that's what really matter.

With that thought Dean ate his cold muffin with a small smile on his face.

This is my first time posting something original (on this blog) and I'm super nervous. Please let me know if you find any egregious mistakes and I hope you liked it.

[bomberqueen17]

Loftus Bralette Construction #2: completion!

yah so i finished the bra and tried it on and it was more comfortable than the RTW bra I'd been wearing so I just left it on the rest of the day, LOL.

But anyway I'll detail the rest of the sewing of it, and what I've learned and what I plan to do next.

[image description: a bent sewing needle, held between my fingers]

So the first thing I learned is that sewing through the many layers where the bra cup is attached to the band is enough that it'll snag on the feed dogs and if you try to pull it through you'll bend your needle. Had to yank out the entire bobbin raceway/case assemblage to free the bent needle so I could get it out and retrieve the in-progress bra, and then reinserting the whole bobbin assembly took forever to get right. So, don't recommend.

A bit later I shattered another needle when I misjudged how much of the metal eye there was underneath the fabric of the preassembled hook-and-eye closure I was inserting. They only came in a pack of 5 so maybe I need to order more microtex needles....

I wear glasses, but if I didn't, I wouldn't wear goggles to sew but I'd know I should, LOL.

Anyway. Bra sewing is not for the faint of machine. I am using an old mechanical Kenmore that fears nothing. I can't set the stitch width very easily, but that's the only downside I can find.

Attaching the band was wildly confusing. I'd watched the sewalong and it had seemed straightforward enough, but the written directions were baffling. They wanted you to pin... the center in place... from the top... then turn the entire bra and pin from? the other side? what?

I tried to follow the directions, failed entirely to get the thing on, and had to retreat upstairs to seam-rip and rewatch the sewalong.

She has you pin the center, then sew the waistband V to one side of the center gore, then sew it to the other side of the center gore, then pin the rest in place and sew the rest. And that worked. That is not what the written instructions say to do. I'm still not sure what the written instructions say to do. I could not decipher them in any way at all. (By "turn" do they mean like, fold the thing to get at it from the other side? or do they mean like, rotate the whole assemblage, to work on the same surface but from a different angle? what the fuck.)

But I did manage to get the band attached, in the end!

[image description: a pink bra with a black, inverted-v elastic waistband lying atop a sewing machine.]

i then had to attach the straps, and as I was doing it I was like "this is dumb I should make them shorter every bra ever has had straps too long for me" and I remembered someone asking "why put adjustable straps on a homemade bra you're making to measure" and the pattern designer or someone answering "because the elastic might stretch over time" but i'm here to tell you a little secret, those elastic sliders never fucking stay where i put them, every single bra i own the first thing i do when i get it is adjust those sliders as short as they go, and that's the first thing i do every time i put that bra on for its entire life, and it is still never short enough and sometimes i have altered RTW bras to remove the sliders and make the straps permanently shorter. But I was like "no they wrote the pattern like this for a reason i'll do it" and then. I got the straps on. And got the hook and eye closure installed. And I put the bra on.

And the straps are way too fucking long, like minimum three inches too long, and won't stay adjusted shorter and even at the shortest adjustment are too long.

So score 1 for whoever was like "putting adjustable elastic on a made to measure garment is silly", they were one hundred percent right. I have picked /cut the elastic back off and am going to just sew some on at a fixed length about three inches shorter than the pattern as written. I was completely wrong: i do not need or want adjustable straps. If the elastic stretches out over the lifetime of the garment, I will unpick it and sew it again shorter. The sliders never work and I don't know why I bought in to the propaganda that they would when I know better.

Anyway: making this not-rebloggable because I'm going to include a photo of the garment on, and I don't need that to be rebloggable. It can just stay in its original context here. Not that it's racy. But:

[image description: a size 38J non-wired bra, pale pink with peach elastic and a black waistband, worn by a torso that fills it out pretty well, with just a few wrinkles in the center gore and arms raised out of frame.]

The high center gore doesn't suit me, so I'll do the next one at the lower line option. The lack of pressing the seams shows; the seams are blocky and my boobs have low-poly corners, LOL. The Sharpie marks are funny everywhere. And I could stand to have less volume at the bottom of the cups so my boobs fill out the tops of the cups a little better, somehow. Not sure how to alter that.

But what I've done is I've since cut out a second one, using the nice kit I bought, and first I very carefully shaved down the edges of the paper pattern pieces, which i had cut out with my usual not super high level of care. But these pieces need to be very precise, and the seam allowances-- well, drawing the sew line on was good as an idea but in practice I missed it much of the time when I was actually sewing, because I couldn't see it or the fabric slid or various other reasons. What I need to do is use a seam guide to make sure I'm really sewing at the full 1/4" seam allowance, which I rather often wasn't. And that means there's a little extra space in this bra that I don't need.

But the fit is not bad really!!! so I'm going to go ahead and make my next one in the same size, and make it nicely, with all new notions and shit that matches, and doing all of the finish-as-you-go shit, the topstitching and the pressing and whatnot. And then we'll see how that one fits, and maybe refine things from there.

I got no cat photo for the finale here because I turned the a/c on today and the cat has retreated to the attic, which is not air conditioned, so she can sleep in the desert heat, which she prefers. (No we don't live in a desert but she likes to pretend.)

[seraphiism]

𓆩 ♡ 𓆪 ┊ 𝐫𝐞 : 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠

( i am afraid / i will love you forever & we will never be in the same room again. )

chara : ghost / simon riley fandom : call of duty quote cr : clementine von radics a/n : me watching cutscenes @ 5am for commission research : oh i see ... i get it .... thank you for the comm!

prologue :

BUT THERE IS ALWAYS A WEAKNESS IN EXISTENCE, THE CHOIR WILL SING, BECAUSE THIS LIFE IS MEANT TO BE AN EVERLASTING TRAGEDY : MEANT FOR THE RECKONING , MEANT FOR THE RUINING. THERE IS ALWAYS DEATH, ALWAYS BLOOD, ALWAYS ON YOUR HANDS, ALWAYS ON THE MASK.

YOU SAY YOU ARE MADE OF CRUELTY. THAT YOU HAVE A COLD HEART. BUT THERE IS WEAKNESS IN BEING KNOWN, IN BEING LOVED, AND YOU KNOW THIS. AND YOU ALLOW IT, YOU DO.

act 01 :

the first time simon realizes he loves you is the last time he swears to see you. best to cut off ties now, make it quick and move on. forget it all.

his life is too different from yours : wartorn. gruesome . vicious. he is the knife meant for the killing : sharp . cold . cruel. the only way he belongs in the heart of another is through the blade, and he knows this.

he's lost too many people, lost those he's cared for, over and over and over again, and if he allows this, then he'll lose you, too. he will. he knows. he knows too damn well, and he fucking hates it. he understands this more than anyone in the world.

he claims he has a cold heart ; he'd like to believe that. god, he wishes it could be true. it would be so much easier, wouldn't it? wouldn't have fallen in love with you, wouldn't have to mourn for his family and friends, his comrades. wouldn't have to feel anything, just do what he was told.

it would be so much easier, that numbness. because as much as he wants to stop this, put an end to this tragedy before it festers and blooms into something terrifying, he can't.

( how very strange, he thinks, this reminder that even a ghost was once human, too. )

act 02 :

the first time simon shows his face is perhaps the most frightening of all. there is just the faintest vulnerability that comes with being known, and he tries not to acknowledge it. yes, his comrades have seen him, but not you. never you. because this is different, and he cannot describe it, cannot describe why. it is something akin to bearing one's heart : ripping it from his chest, ugly and worn but beating and beating and beating in his calloused hands, and hoping that even then, even in the vile nature of a weapon, you won't turn away.

but when you see him, you pause for a moment, brows raised just for the slightest moment before your eyes lighten up. he doesn't quite understand. he's not sure how to react to your...reaction.

you grin.

"hey, handsome."

( you don't see his face for months after that. you don't ask to, either, but should you ever, he would have obliged in a moment's notice. what a strange thing it is, this weakness he has for you. )

act 03 :

the first time simon kisses you, he wonders if there is a happy ending at the end of this road. you've never been one to fuss over seeing his face-- something he has learned to appreciate all too well. it's almost second nature by now, though you seldom see it. a flicker of curiosity in your eyes, then a faint smile, and that's it.

but tonight is different. tonight, in quiet reverence, your hand cups his cheek, thumb tracing that little scar on the corner of his lip. it's not something born from war, but he'll tell you it is, when in truth, it was something from childhood. but you never ask because you already understand.

you stare at him, and he cannot understand your gaze. gentle. fond.

it almost frightens him, that strange stirring in the heart.

"i love you, you know." you tell him, and your words are but a whisper, yet they're so loud that it shatters the silence in ways that he will remember forever. "i do."

he swallows hard. something tells him that he cannot, should not reciprocate the words. so he doesn't.

"i know."

you smile, lean in just the slightest bit-- almost waiting with bated breath to see if he'll pull away. he should. he should stop this, stop before this turns into something that could twist joy into grief, turn this newfound home into a burial ground. but he doesn't. so you kiss him, tender, adoring, and you let out just the softest laugh, and perhaps it's the kindest thing he's ever heard.

"yeah," you say, kissing him just once more, "i know, too."

( somewhere in that kiss, there's the reciprocation of a love found and forsaken and cherished. one day, he'll say the words. it is his silent promise to you, one you somehow manage to hear. )

act 04 :

the first time simon comes home to you, he hopes it is the first of a thousand times. it has been months since you have last seen each other, and he is tired. the weight on his shoulder is a heavy one, and the ache in his bones is a dull hollowing.

you do not ask how he is. you never do. there is always love through other means. the silence is strong, but never suffocating. you welcome him home with open arms, holding him close, fingers gently running through his hair.

a kiss to the temple, then a small hum of contentment. the passage of time is a blur nowadays, simon thinks, but he would spend forever with you like this if he could.

"...'m back, dove."

you feel him hold you a little closer, just the faintest trace of his lips against your neck.

"you are." you murmur, and there is a brutality in the relief you feel in the knowing of his return. "welcome back."

( & the heart is not always meant for the destruction, simon learns, slowly but surely. maybe there's a happy ending here, somewhere, somehow. he'll be sure to find it. he has to. )

[kenzie-ann27]

what's the worst generation to have as parents and why is it gen x

[beanghostprincess]

okay so i've seen a large number of fans who used to dislike usopp instantly like him only because of the live-action. don't get me wrong! i love that my boy has new and more fans. however, i do think that these people claiming that they now like usopp only say this because of pretty privilege. because let's be honest, a lot of people find anime/manga usopp ugly because they can't stand different character designs (his nose, obviously) and now that they have a handsome actor to simp after they obviously like usopp more.

[miabrown007]

going crazy about kaz brekker hours

[eff-plays]

Not exactly a dadstarion truther either (mostly bc it took me a while to actually warm up to the idea and also hes NEVER having kids with my durge, only my tav (can you imagine this man parenting a Bhaalspawn? A dhampir Bhaalspawn?? Nonono.)) But I do find something a little compelling about the thought of this man who a) has had absolutely nothing of his own for as long as he can remember and b) sees himself as worthless and irreparably fucked up creating this tiny new person? Like, they're part of him, he made this precious little creature (with the person he already loves most)? This soft and innocent thing? (Which he would waffle awfully between wanting to keep innocent for as long as possible but also making sure they know about life's horrors so they can avoid them) Like sure the baby version is annoyingly loud and can't do anything and also gross and smells but he can teach the toddler to bite people. He is the absolute worst enabler, spoils the kid rotten. Teaches them to steal and pick locks and just lets them get away with murder. Parent #2 has to do all the actual parenting part cuz damn he's not doing the discipline thing at all.

Also the vain part of him likes looking at his kid and sort of seeing some of his face in them, since he can't use an actual mirror.

Well he'd be cured by the time he has the kid or soon after in my canon, so that last part wouldn't apply for me.

And yeah, when I say that I'm not a dadstarion truther I don't mean that I don't see it happening ever, but more that to me, that first step in itself is the one that I see as least likely.

Because I can accept that he would learn to love the kid, that he would care about it and spoil it. I can also accept (and would gladly explore) him having a complicated relationship with the kid, either early on in a postpartum depression sort of way, or further down the line in a "I can't find common ground with my teen/young adult" sort of way (or both lbr).

The problem, to me, is that I don't see Astarion going "let's have a kid!" I don't see him genuinely wanting one, and I don't see him finding any reason to lie about wanting one, and I don't see Hira believing any of those lies even if he does try. It's really the initial hurdle. The rest I'm happy to make as dysfunctional and weird as it would realistically be when a guy who shouldn't be a dad becomes a dad. One of the reasons I came up with Critter is because I find it compelling how much Astarion is not a dad guy, and how that would fuck up a person like Critter. That's juicy stuff. And also a way for me to work out my own daddy issues I guess lmao.

But getting that started? Actually inventing a reason for how Astarion would even agree to it? That's where I struggle. And that's why I'm torn. Cuz I do want to stay true to my own interpretation of a character, while also wanting to create a new character and put them both (and also Hira) in situations.

Like I'm happy for all the dadstarion peeps who have cool dhampir girlies running around on adventures and I'd love to join them, but I also think that if I were true to Astarion's characterization, that kid would have issues. Like maybe a lot of them.

[siriuslynephilim]

spending my whole life trying and trying and trying and trying to be good enough for people who don't give a fuck about me

[yohankang]

i hate working with rich people i hate it

[the-casbah-way]

not to beat a dead horse but jesus christ can you just leave people alone in public bathrooms i just want to fucking piss girl i'm so tired of feeling anxious and trying to avoid using public bathrooms because of how fucking weird cis people are about it. i tried to go into the bathroom at work today (i have worked here for years) and this woman who has worked here for two weeks and doesn't know me laughed and tried to like. steer me in the direction of the men's toilet instead and was like "wrong way!" are you fucking kidding me fuck off