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lovestrucked-again · 4 years

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Delirium VIII

Summary: After being kidnapped and claimed by the notorious mafia leader, he offers you a 7 day period where you’ll be given the option after of staying or leaving. Until then, you’re stuck, whether you like it or not.

Pairing: Mafia leader X female reader Word count: 3.7k

Genre & Warning: SMUT, BDSM - paper bonds LMAO, sex toys - vibrator, porn videos, oral sex (male receive), fingering, hair pulling, possessive, toxic and yandere like personality, humiliation, rough, orgasm denial, begging, orgasm control, praise, teasing, pee mentioned but no urophilia just Taeyong being obssessive over Y/N, being babied 24/7.

a/n: Okay so my holiday is finally here and ive finally had time to do this but ive put off my other collab accidentally instead... I am also finally getting to the climax of this story soon.

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Day 4 Continued

Your pulse is racing, the discomfort countering the wild sense of excitement. It’s not like you were completely stuck, you could free yourself with a sharp tug at your wrists but, you didn't want to.

You're a little irked that he’s left you like this for so long, but then again, it hardly surprises you considering the last teasing threat you made. Not like it was my fault though.

As soon as Taeyong left for the door, you had fallen back against the wall, desperately waiting for the release you were constantly climbing but could never reach. The chastity belt was only removed after he had returned from answering the door, the delivery food that had been ordered instantly trashed as he walked back to you blankly.

It should hardly surprise you how Taeyong thinks and works. It doesn't surprise you that his got you bound to his kitchen chair, naked and waiting. Doesn't surprise you that your ankles are once again tied by a thin nylon rope on the outside of the front chair legs. Doesn't surprise you that his managed to get you into a position with a vibrator deeply plunged into you, leaving the protrusion at the base nudging against your clit. However, what does manage to wonder you, is the fact that he walked out the front door almost 30 minutes ago and stated he wouldn't be back till lunch.

Had the device not been twisted an inconvenient one-eighty degrees inside you, you could just adjust it, switch it on and set it growling within and against you, rather than just staying fitted on the seat tight and inert. But that would mean ripping the crepe-paper bonds with which he had tied your wrists behind the chair-back. Your restraints he had improvised from the wrappings of your dress he bought the day before, carefully choosing it instead in case of any ‘unexpected circumstance'.

“Tear yourself free if you want,” he whispered in your ear having completed the delicate knotting, “but if you do I'll fuck you up properly and deprive you for the rest of the day."

So you were behaving yourself, staying in place, rocking back and forth as much as you can to create friction between the smooth surface of the sex toy to your clit. All while the images play out before you on screen.

He had picked a DVD from his modest but carefully put-together treasury of hardcore pornography. Placing the chair, you were straddled to, in front of his flat-screen, surrounding it with speakers for you to enjoy the maximised audio-visual experience of the sweating, groaning, foul-mouthed fuck-action.

“Pay special attention to the third scene,” he had warned you before leaving, “Because everything he does to her, I'm going to do to you.”

The sometimes limited appeal of porno visuals was hugely enhanced by your current situation. You can’t help but watch, enthralled, as a parade of pornstars drizzle themselves liberally with oily lubricant, massaging it lovingly into their curves, while the hired studs looked on in grinning anticipation, stroking their big erections. The same girls were then worked over vigorously by their hung-and-hoisted admirers, as you gazed, shifting vainly to increase the sense of traction inside your own filled pussy. Not for the first time that day you were writhing frustratedly yet again in an effort to bring yourself to climax.

Then the other sensation began to compete. There had been an excited knowingness in Taeyong’s eyes at odds with his calm demeanour as he had encouraged you to drink water. Now the liquid was draining south, filling you up and thwarting the desire which had been mounting, as you clench your groin muscles to stem the flow.

“Better not move,” he had warned you. While you could easily escape and relieve yourself both physically and pleasurably, you’re unwilling to countenance the prospect of his threat, not yet at any rate, so you endure your swollen bladder, resisting the urge to relieve yourself all over his living-room rug.

You sit and squirm and endure, watching as the DVD's third scene kicks in. Physical discomfort cannot squeeze out the thrill and the shame as the particular porn scenario unfolds before you. The slender girl with the hair sticking oily to her body to a slippery sheen. Submitting herself to the smug fuck who gets to nail her. Everything he does to her...

Your eyes widen and your throat holds in your breath. Oh my God. What is he doing, what is that... Then the urge to pee and the need to wrestle it overtakes your concentration and you curse at Taeyong all over again.

By the time you hear the key rattle in the lock, you had held yourself on the edge of bursting for over an hour. The DVD is still churning out its explicit content, incoherent fuck-noise pouring from the speakers, but you were long past paying it any mind. All your focus was on holding in the water.

You meet his gaze squarely as Taeyong walks through from the entryway, tilting your chin back defiantly whatever the torment from below, whatever thrilling fear you might feel regarding his next move. And you stay silent, just staring at him a challenge through your suffering and waiting to see where his whims would take you. The expression on his features is something between benevolence and amusement. Your pulse accelerates further as he approaches you; the arrogance in his bearing was tempering by something almost respectful, as he reaches out and strokes your damp hair. A ting of arousal builds only dimly through the pain from your distended bladder.

Taeyong contemplates his next move while he watches you. 'Irresistible' is the word that occurs to him, though that he keeps to himself. Your hair draping your slim shoulders rather stickily right now. A sheen of moisture glossing over your skin like on that hottest of summer weekends, a trickle of sweat making its path between your breasts' pert mounds, descending over the lightly-padded trim of your stomach towards the pink, vibrator-crammed revelation of your split thighs.

“You haven’t moved. I’m impressed.” His voice is soft and only mildly taunting as he tosses aside the bag he had been carrying and his firm hand touches your face gently. You gasp as his fingers trace a sweat-slick path down your neck, your body responding to him in spite of the need to relieve yourself. His hand cups the moistened curve of your left breast and he fondles you rhythmically till you groan. Slowly his fingers glide to a point over your sweat-moistened surface and pinch hard at your engorged nipple. The shudder is visible, you know. You feel like you can hardly hold yourself in any further. Then he’s behind you, kneading again, his other hand flat on your sternum and plunging gradually, till it firmly applies pressure to your lower stomach.

“Miss me?” he growls softly, as you wince and clench.

You laugh sarcastically, “I was distracted,” you tell him, your voice shallow. “Sensory overload. And no joke, but if you keep me here I'm going to piss all over your chair and that’s on you.”

Taeyong can’t help but chuckle “Whoops,” he says, raising his hand from your stomach. “My bad. Let me help you - you've been very well behaved. So far.” The final words are as ominous as they are soft-spoken. You try to hide your trembling as he drops to his knees and begins to untie your bound ankles, head between your thighs, breath flowing all over your splayed gash as he works.

As he leans in, completing the unfastening - you watch fascinated as his carefully groomed head of dark hair hovers around your crotch releasing the strong teeth around the base of the vibrator. Grasping your hips for leverage he draws the toy out leaving a residual of moisture and a stronger need to pee.

You manage to hold on and fight the urge to tear the wrist-bindings which you so easily could have done. Everything felt like a test, like Taeyong was testing your trust in him, your trust in this unexplained relationship.

Unsurprisingly, he stands up instantly and with an intimidating vibe, the vibrator in his hand is stowed into your mouth nearly choking you with your own flavour.

“Hold that while I get your wrists.” There’s a casual roughness to his tone that bites at your arousal while also pissing you off slightly, even as it drives you wild. And then, with a rip you’re free of all bonds, apart from the emotional one which is linked to Taeyong. He leans in behind you, hands encircling your slippery waist, his voice in your ear tender again. “Now, anywhere you'd like to go?”

Arousal seems to override your suffering as you feel your nipples resolve into hard points at his touch, at his breath on your face, yet you fight it. “Bathroom, please. Seriously. I can't hold it in.”

Taeyong was always in awe around you, yet again once more by the natural sensuality of you, the way your back arches and your breasts thrust out searchingly as he caresses around your skin. He strolls around the chair casually before, sliding his hands around your waist and under your thighs, scooping you easily into his arms. You link yourself around his neck for support and lay hazily in his grip as he carries your nude form from the living-room.

“You are a bad man,” you whisper breathily.

“You have no idea, baby.”

Your eyes lazily glimpse around the surroundings, noticing the direction you’re headed in is not where you wanted to go, “Why are you...”

Carried into his spacious bathroom, you realise with a jump of your heart how literally he was taking your request. You cling to his neck as he tips your back and lays you over the end of the bathtub. The porcelain surface feels cool on your flushed hot skin. You find yourself almost inverted, ass plumped against the curving wall, legs spread and hooked over the curved end of the bath, the intimacy of your swollen sex all on display for him.

“There you are,” Taeyong says lightly, as he disentangles himself from your grip. His hands roam meandering over the wet slopes of your breasts, upwards to your stomach and thighs. He was enjoying this intensely, enjoying your body and your predicaments. “You asked for the bathroom.”

Clearly, Taeyong could always outdo himself, always managing to shock you with some unexpected surprise. And for all the physical urgency to release, you feel your loins spontaneously tighten against it. Somehow, you felt weaker under his fingers, somewhat enjoying the overwhelming amount of wickedness that seemed to humble you into submission. Maybe perversely he wants you to give in early, prove you don't have the courage you acted upon with earlier in the day.

“Well?” His face hovers some way above the split between your legs. “What are you waiting for? I can let you do it alone, but I'll tie you up after and leave you alone for the longest time...”

“No need.” Your face feels hot and flushed, embarrassment fighting with excitement. Whatever.

You raise your head and shoulders from the tub and your right arm reaches around his neck, hand latching itself to the back of his head, fingers clutching into his hair. Your upper body stiffens as you cling to him for support, but the lower part of you releases and you give in. Taeyong hides the faintest shock as you don't talk back, watching your face as you grip him, sharing his gaze as you relieve yourself from the built up water, an unreadable look in his eyes.

You release your hold on him, as he reaches for the extendable shower head from above and tests the temperature against the sink. Laying back onto the bath surface, you allow the pale gush of water to roll across your belly, spilling around your breasts and channelling through the valley, splashing around your neck and precociously upturned chin. Taeyong places a soft kiss against your forehead as he brings the water around your skin.

“Did I do well?” you whisper, eyes closed as the lukewarm water runs over your thighs.

“You did,” he murmurs, trying not to let show the strange awe that he feels. “Very well.”

Your body feels weak and tired but you still feel weirdly pleased with yourself. The smile on Taeyong’s face is softer and it assures you. His fingers massage the back of your body, focusing on the parts where you would’ve felt the most tense from being in a tied position.

“What’s wrong?” you ask, hearing the shower head fall against the sides of the tub.

“Nothing.” He hums back, removing his shirt to the side of the tub as he leaves the bubbles to wash off your skin. Your face falls close to his chest as he leans against the edge of the bathtub.

And he lays you back down again, flipping the cap off the body soap once more and squirting the gel all around your lower stomach. You gasp a little as he begins to spread it all around your mound, slightly embarrassed as he cleans and rubs at it. “Just making sure you're properly clean.”

His voice is soft, his attentions careful and deliberate. He soaps with one hand, the circular movement slowing till his thumb rests on your clit. You gasp at the sensation, your whole body bridling under his touch. Peering up you can see him working you intently, his fingertips moving in minute circles on you, while the hard bulge of his cock strains in response against his pants.

He reaches with his other hand between the fork of your legs and you feel him strum back and forth for a moment over your sensitive lips. Your body follows in response and you shudder. Then suddenly, two of his fingers plunge inside you and commence to fuck briskly in and out and yet again you’re lost to all else.

The only thing you knew was Taeyong playing you and the erotic swell of his music throughout your being. Your eyes close and you give yourself up to it, moments from earlier flashing across your consciousness: the firmness of his hands as he tied you to the chair, his words in your ear - 'everything he does to her...' - the writhing, thrilling torment in which he had left you. Only now with your clit able to bloom freely under his touch, your pussy responding and lubricating to the traction of his diligently thrusting fingers. You recall the way he had denied you so cruelly in the morning and fear he would inflict that agony again, but his touch only intensifies and quickens, bringing you rapidly to your high.

“Fuck.” You manage to mutter, under your breath. Taeyong finds himself cherishing the sight of your lovely form squirming and humping under his attentions. Drawn to it. He clutches your loins all the way through your orgasm, your cunt tightening urgently on his pumping fingers, your juice flowing all over his palm.

His cock continues to squeeze against the zipper of his trousers as though trying to burst its way out but he attempts to ignore it. Somehow, you’d done it again. There was something about you that just managed to lull him into tenderness, that makes him prioritise your pleasure over his.

You slump back onto the porcelain, spasming just a little further from his hands on you. He reaches across and draws you up with one hand to your upper back, the other still between your legs gently stroking the wet moisture of your cunt.

“How did that feel?” He could hear the edge to his own voice, desperately driving his soaring lust. “How did it make you feel? All of it?”

You stare at him as through a daze, temporarily rung out by your climactic explosion.

“Open.” Your eyes fix on him more firmly. “And exposed. It made me feel exposed.”

“And did you like that?” he asks with quiet relish.

“Yes I did.” You can feel a surge of anxiousness and excitement fluttering around your stomach as Taeyong slides his hand up around the roots of your hair. His hand bunches around the strands of your loose hair and he can see the disconcerted look return to your face.

“Well then, you're going to have much more of what you like.” He rises from the bath's edge and with his cum-smeared hand plucks at the front of his jeans, unfastening in a few swift moves. Both trousers and briefs fall down, allowing his erection to spring stridently into view. “Now get your mouth around me.”

You can feel the prompt of his clutching hand against your scalp, but after the sweetness of your orgasm you don't need to be asked again to give what he wants. Pushing all reservations aside as to his longer-term intent, you bring the hard velvet of his tip and suck. The snarl of pleasure in his throat only adds to your effort as you work harder, feeling him resolve to steel in your mouth as you provide a hard suction on his first few inches.

His fingers tighten in your hair and he can’t help but push you down further onto him, his smooth thick pole surging to the back of your throat as you choke. He holds you firmly in place for a moment, then retracts his cock and begins to thrust repeatedly, fiercely into your throat. You can hear the sound in your own ears as you gag around him - straight out of the porn scene to which he had drawn your attention to. You’re the girl from the on-screen action now, the little facially-abused girl. He pulls right out, leaving your lips drooling before him.

“Remember the safe word?” Taeyong questions in a low growl.

You stare past his saliva-wet cock, straight into his eyes, “Yes.”

You were ready to test yourself, trusting when you had enough, he would stop. For now, you stare and open wide, inviting his renewed plunge.

It comes just as demanding as the first time and you take it all the way down this time without flinching, swallowing him to the balls and letting him fuck your face. You grasp around his thighs, steadying yourself as you feel his length filling up your mouth, attacking your throat, and feeling it succeed in accommodating all. He withdraws again and you let your mouth slobber freely, never breaking his gaze.

“You want more?” There’s an evil hint in his voice, as though he expects you to be cowed by his onslaught.

Yet you manage to shock him once again, “Yeah, I like it,” you whisper, almost daring him. He stalls slightly, letting the words sink in before ripping himself completely out of the remaining clothing in a few brief seconds.

“So come get.” He backs away, cock still erect and slick with saliva. “Come on baby girl, come and get it.” In a different circumstance, if this wasn't you, he would have laughed at such a proposition, never bothering to play with the women he fucked. But you just had something so interesting and alluring that made him insanely driven to all your next moves. Everything about you was so unexpected yet so captivating. And it makes him only more insane for you.

And as your days continued beside him, you seemed to have forgotten all of your morals, only craving his cock to be inside you – whether it was your mouth or wherever he wanted. So dignity be damned, you climb soaking over the side of the tub, clamber onto the floor and begin to crawl after him, wondering how well he likes your bare form pursuing him like this.

“That's it, baby, come to me, come get another taste...” You make a mad shuffling dash for him, mouth agape to take in his cock bobbing head, but he catches you by the shoulder and holds you off, “Come on, suck me.” But as you struggle to capture him with your lips, he persists in his restraint. “Show me how much you want it. Try and get your mouth around that cock,” he teases.

Asshole, you think, even as you fight him. He lets go of you suddenly and this time it was you who surges onto him, fitting your mouth and slotting yourself forcefully to near the base in a single fluid motion – leaving you rather impressed by your own success.

Taeyong moans in amazement, taken aback to find his cock all but engulfed by your mouth. Your hands clap to his upper thighs and he gasps deeper, as you haul him tight to you, taking the last of him down yourself. You hold your face there, your gaze looming in on his and holding the look. See how good I am?

He grabs you by the hair, harder than before, and you yelp. “Bad baby girl” he grumbles. “And you were being so, so good. Keep your hands to yourself.”

“But you liked it, didn't you?” you ask, the words coming out without crossing your mind.

Taeyong shakes his head and clicks his tongue in disapproval, “We do this on my terms,” he says evenly, hoping to mask his admiration with sternness.

The façade he puts up doesn't faze you and you continue hiding your own smirk, “Can't I improvise a little?”

Just as easily as you read him, he notices the mischief in your voice and he crams four fingers in your mouth to shut you up. Your eyes bulge at his assertive intrusion. “You don't improvise at all,” he warns. “You do what you're told. You speak when you're told. Apart from one word. And that word ends everything, okay?”

You nod, mouth still full with his fingers. Your heart continues thumping from the sheer sport of it all. You had taken so much over these past few days, explored all your inner desires with what he had given so far, yet the thought that he could still shock you was bewildering.

“Now get your ass to the living-room,” he says as he withdraws his fingers, “we have something to finish.”

#nct smut #nct imagines #nct taeyong #taeyong smut #nct mafia #nct scenarios #lee taeyong #nct #nct yandere #nct fanfic #kpop mafia #taeyong imagine #kpop smut

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blacksurvivalnostalgichanges · 3 years

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Immortal Soul:Black Survival Characters Streaming

Adela:would stream completely unrelated things and casually be recognized as a chess champion. like. she’s playing smash or something and someone says “HOLY SHIT YOU’RE THE ADELA GRO” and she’s just like “yes”

Adriana:burning a house down asmr. on a more She Is Healing note, the asmr definitely could involve her using lighters, paper, or dolls to make the nice sounds. collabed with celine once, it was a very fun disaster

Alex:his job realistically would make streaming very impractical for him but i selfishly want to imagine him doing twitch sings. i guess realistically he could host things that are way more audience based, like when people let twitch chat vote on what they do next. keeps his privacy for the most part

Arda:Just Chatting category where he’s digging up bones. Just Digging

Aya:A Real Cop Plays Cop Games because imagining her trying to play a game like la noire is amusing

Barbara:probably one of those streamers that are kinda rude to viewers? but also one of the streamers that just clams up for several minutes when someone donated over 50 dollars to them

Bernice:he wouldn’t know what streaming is

Camilo:positively unbearable streaming, he’d be the kind of guy that doesn’t thank for donations at best and gets high and mighty about it at worst. just chatting so people can focus on his face probably

Cathy: definitely a wild experience. in an rtgame mario party stream it randomly went on for an hour about what toad looks like under his hat, and i think that’s the shit that’d happen every time. cursed discussions and pure chaos

Celine: plays games normally, but then the moment she can blow anything up she immediately jumps at the opportunity. a bomb appears onscreen and everyone spams OH NO as she goes over to it

Chiara: most definitely wouldn’t stream considering her impressive cocktail of mental issues, but i like the idea of her occasionally showing up in someone’s stream for a minute or two every now and then. namely emma but i am biased in that front

Chloe:probably would make a regular “show” of sorts with her marionette shows

Daniel:very rarely would stream, partially because in one of his first streams someone told him to play one of those really bad children’s games where you cut hair and he decided that he didn’t want to

Echion:he’d play fighting games and have a Heated Gamer Moment where he says a slur

Eva:i like to imagine that she’d be your average streamer, playing a variety of games, very nice and affable, but then at a random point she uses her telekinesis to get something and just never addresses it

Emma: Magician Reacts To Magic Tricks

Fiora:probably talks to people about bladework. i can imagine her teaching people how to replicate characters’ swordfighting animations

Hart:probably would stream the process of making her music. simple much like her, really

Hyejin:known for accidentally breaking games and triggering glitches constantly. everyone keeps asking her how she does it since it makes for a fun experience, but she always says she doesn’t know how she does it

Hyunwoo:strikes me as the sort to play fighting games and be pretty good at them. for some reason i can imagine him trying to play fall guys and being pretty bad at it

Isol:y’know how khoi, genshin impact albedo’s voice actor, became well-known because of shit he says on people’s streams, but does not stream himself? that

Jackie:probably would play battle royale games, ironically enough

Jan:really wholesome streamer who plays fighting games, because a shadow of the true self remains in the pogchamp

Jenny: would do dramatic readings

Johann:he’d most likely preach in streams

JP:livestreams the process of hacking someone’s account on a game. gets banned on twitch

Lenox:Just Fishing

Leon:unboxing cute things. i can imagine someone asking him why he has so much cutesy shit and him just being like “shhhhh”

Li Dailin:mukbang but instead it’s drinking

Luke: i feel like i’ve talked enough about luke streaming for this to be repeating myself

Magnus:just the idea of him streaming fills me with dread so i shan’t

Mai:i don’t know why but i’m OBSSESSED with the idea of her initially streaming the process of designing clothes and talking about it, but having a single stream where she rates kids’ games related to clothing or fashion. none of them got a rating higher than 3/5 (because she is definitely the sort to rate it out of five instead of ten, prove me wrong)

Nadine:she strikes me as the sort of person that wouldn’t stream. however, nothing would stop her from appearing while other people stream. someone called her on when they played skyrim since she’s “an expert”

Nathapon:probably should not livestream because he would definitely forget to mute the mic or end the stream, but if he did i feel like he’d be a Just Chatting guy. he might play geoguessr

Nicky:channel point reward where she’ll do a stunt right there right then

Rio:genshin impact streamer, ganyu/general bow main. i get that vibe from her

Rozzi:vtuber probably, but entirely because she doesn’t want to use a webcam

Shoichi:the idea’s funny but i don’t think he’d stream. if he did i do like the thought of like, his daughter passing by in the background and chat going nuts

Silvia: neglects switching the screen to an “i’ll be back” screen when leaving briefly. i can imagine her trying out a rhythm game at someone’s request and doing horribly at it for some reason

Sissela:art streams for sure

Sua:asmr streams where she reads stories with peaceful music in the background, or just chatting streams where she helps people with any issues they had lately

William:definitely streamed wii sports at least once

Xiukai:i like to imagine that he usually did cooking streams but at some point decided to play cooking mama out of curiosity. “she needs to buy better cooking utensils, the blender lid won’t stay on, her freezer freezes everything within seconds”

Yuki:probably wouldn’t stream because if you’re streaming, you can’t cut out any slipups or parts that get overly long. perfectionism

Zahir:definitely wouldn’t know how to stream, but if he did i imagine he’s be the kind of streamer that’s very very quiet

#immortal soul black survival #blacksurvivalgame #eternal return black survival #black survival headcanons #headcanons

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my-day · 3 years

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10 biases tag

tagged by my personal profesional tagger and bro @chaotichae

1. woosung (the rose)

2. seonghwa (ateez)

3. young k (day6)

4. yunho (ateez)

5. ha hyunsang (hoppipolla)

6. kevin moon (the boyz)

7. yonghoon (onewe)

8. eunwoo (astro)

9. vernon (seventeen)

10. kai (exo)

between number 1 (woosung) and 4 (yunho) who would you rather kiss?

what if i just avoid this question? what if i just do it? is it really necessary to answer? woosung

between number 2 (seonghwa) and 7 (yonghoon) who'd be your best friend?

a best friend who embarrassed me with his behavior or a best friend who embarrassed me with his clingyness? between the two i will still get a friend obssessed with his apperance... this one is hard. i want both... if can't get them i will go with hwa

between 5 (hyunsang) and 10 (kai) who has the better voice?

hyunsang lmao i'm sorry kai sweetie but my boy hyunsang's voice is everything

between 1 (woosung) and 8 (eunwoo) who is the funniest?

eunwoo, like he is in astro. he thrives in the chaos of them so eunwoo (sorry sammy i love you)

between 6 (kevin) and 9 (vernon) who would you date?

OHMYGOOOOOOOD how can you choose?! with both of them is a party oh my god. i think i will go with vernon on this one...

between 9 (vernon) and 10 (kai) who would you collab with?

mmmm.... kai because i love his solo and that's more the vibe i go (i know vernon can be chill but still)

between 4 (yunho) and 8 (eunwoo) who is the best dancer?

yunho, fight me playing his little ko ko bop religiously

between 3 (young k) and 5 (hyunsang) who would you most likely marry?

this is no secret for anyone YOUNG K zero hesitation i have already asked for his hand in marriage several times, have you seen him lately? peak husband material (ask my bro she knows)

between 2 (seonghwa) and 3 (young k) who has the best smile?

DO NOT do this to me. this is unfair. like are you gonna make me pick when young k has the brightest smile and seonghwa has the half joy half pain smile? this is a crime seonghwa

between 6 (kevin) and 8 (eunwoo) who would you vacation with?

kevin because i can't imagine a vacation with eunwoo for some reason like i tried to think about it and my head went ????? so kevin

and finally i am gonna tag @sushi-xuxii @softhyungkyun @woo-san (enjoy the suffering lmao :])

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fortunatelylori · 4 years

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Sandtion: The Sense and sensibility connection - a meta collab with @and-holly-goes-lightly

As some of you may have gathered, @and-holly-goes-lightly and I are salt mates (this is a tumblr term I have learned only recently and am planning to run into the ground. You have been forwarned. I don’t want any complaints down the line!)

It all started about a year ago, with this:

And progressed steadily until we ended up here:

Occasionally, between ogling pictures of naked men, we discuss serious issues as well. Those end up as metas for your consumption, most of the time.

It’s a colaboration that works well. I write long metas, she writes really good ones. We enjoy. We have fun.

Given that we both obssesively analyze tv content and that we tend to reach about the same conclusions, we have been planning on doing some project together for a while now.

I think if 2 months ago someone had told us that Sanditon would be the tv show that would see us join writing forces, we would have been more than a little shocked.

But here we are … hoplessly obssessed with Austen’s unfinished novel and ITV’s unfinished tv show (get the hint, ITV?!?! I hope you do. Chop, chop! You can’t live on Downton Abbey reruns for the rest of time, you know)

So on this most special of days, @and-holly-goes-lightly and I bring you the motherload of Sandtion metas. Two crazy writers, one tv show, one simple title:

Sandtion: The Sense and Sensibility connection

It’s no surprise to anyone, at this point, that Andrew Davies wears his Austen influences on his sleeve in Sanditon. You can find easter eggs for most of Austen’s work, from the famous Pride and Prejudice to the obscure Lady Susan.

However, Sense and Sensibility seems to be one work that hasn’t insipired much comparison from the fandom. And it’s perhaps for that reason that Sandion’s last two episodes were so hard to digest and why so many question marks were raised in regards to Charlotte’s characterization.

In this project we aim to dispel some of that confusion and attempt to put into prespective the character arcs of both Sidney and Charlotte in:

Sidlotte: A parallel journey between Sense and Sensibility by @fortunatelylori

As well as delve deeper into Charlotte’s POV through out the season finale in:

Charlotte Heywood - From Sensibility to Sense by @and-holly-goes-lightly

We hope you enjoy our take. Please don’t forget to leave us your comments in the reply section. This is a new format for us and we’d love to hear from you on how you like this kind of collaborative work.

Sidlotte: A parallel journey between Sense and Sensibility

As I was reading the now infamous Theo James interview, I was reminded of the “unusual” visual representation of Sanditon. It really does look quite different to most Austen adaptations which are defined by the sunny, sanitized domesticity of the English garden.

Sanditon doesn’t look like that. It’s rough and a little wild. It presents a world in the throes of change, with gales, nudity and darkness lurking around the corners. I think it’s those visual cues that made Theo link it to Wuthering Heights with its Yorkshire gloomy moors and harsh winds.

But that just goes to show you Mr. James has not done his proper Andrew Davies research (Tsk, tsk, me thinks he will need to do a few more nude scenes to atone for it) because the wind swept beaches, the wilderness of the English countryside, the cowboy motif? They all go back to this:

I imagine the visual style of Sense and Sensibility 2008 was in part generated by an attempt to separate it from the very famous 1995 version (the quintessential sunny English countryside film) and in part as a response to the earthier approach Joe Wright took for his now very influential version of Pride and Prejudice (2005).

But I do think Sanditon owes more to S&S 2008 than just its visuals. I’ve talked about this in the past but Sanditon, to me, is really Davies’ homage to Austen’s entire body of work so the more you dig and analyze, the more similarities and parallels you are going to find between Sanditon, its characters and the rest of the Austenverse (I really hope this is just a thing I say in a sarcastic way on tumblr. Not everything needs to be a –verse, people!).

Episode 8 really brought this theory into focus for me. In my review I said that the finale marked the tonal shift of the story from the naïve, hopeful and mostly comedic territory of Northanger Abbey and Pride and Prejudice towards the darker, more reflective tone of Persuasion and Sense and Sensibility.

Of course, comedy and witticisms are a core trait of all of Austen’s work. Her voice is so powerful that she is always an extra character in her own stories. However, Persuasion and S&S are also permeated with a sense of loss and angst that her other works don’t really have.

They’re more mature I suppose one could say. And it’s that maturity that plays a role in the shift that occurred in the season finale of Sanditon. Because Sanditon is really all about Charlotte Heywood. We enter this world with her and we follow her coming of age story throughout the season. And that story is marked by a pretty steep transition from the romantic, hopeful heroine represented by Marianne Dashwood to her restrained, sensible sister, Eleanor.

One of the things I liked the most about S&S 2008 was how much more balanced its view on Marianne and Eleanor was. In the 1995 film, it always felt as if Marianne was presented as a cautionary tale while Eleanor was the heroic nurturing woman who endures everything stoically and is rewarded for her restraint in the end.

But that’s not really, to my mind, the message Jane Austen would like us to get out of S&S. Just like with Pride and Prejudice, Austen is shining a light on the folly of both extreme sense and as well as extreme sensibility. It is not wise to jump head first into situations having only Lord Byron’s poems as your guide but it’s also equally unwise to constrain yourself to the point where you are unable to confide in anyone, to the point where you deny your feelings and end up a passive participant to your own life.

With Charlotte Heywood, we get to explore both those behavioral patterns.

The change from Marianne to Eleanor doesn’t occur in episode 8, by the way. It occurs at the end of episode 6 and carries through to the finale. That’s why people, including myself, were taken aback by Charlotte’s apparent change in demeanor in episode 7, from the girl who always spoke her mind (even when she shouldn’t) and wore her heart on her sleeve to the outwardly detached, apprehensive young woman who was waiting for the other shoe to drop even as the man she loved was about to propose to her.

It would be easy to blame this transition on poor execution and I do believe the shift was too sudden and it was a mistake to have it start off screen (in between episode 6 and episode 7). However, the arc itself is not a mistake and it’s actually very clever.

For one because it allows us to explore this story both from the naïve, romantic perspective as well as the angst filled one.

Secondly, and most importantly, because it works in tandem with Sidney’s arc, who is going through the exact opposite journey from the emotionally repressed outlier to the open hearted tormented hero, representative of the Byronic romantic ideal.

What was supposed to happen is that by the end of episode 8, Sidney and Charlotte would meet in the middle, she as a more controlled romantic, he as a warmhearted stoic. What Davies gave us instead is two ships that passed each other in the night and have, by their last scene in episode 8, completely exchanged places.

So I think it’s important to go back to the beginning and analyze how the meeting between the naïve romantic Charlotte and the world weary Sidney ended up altering them forever and how, while deeply painful for both of them at the moment, their separation and behavior shift will end up benefiting them when their eventual reunion occurs (whether or not ITV decides to renew this series, Charlotte and Sidney WILL get married and have 2 to 3 adorable children because this is an Austen story and I will accept nothing less, damn it!)

One of the most important scenes in the whole season for me was the carriage scene in episode 6. I wrote a whole meta on it that you can find here and I have to go back to it in order to reference this extremely important exchange that sits as the lynchpin of this meta:

Sidney: And what do you know of love? Apart from what you’ve read?

Charlotte: I would sooner be naïve than insensible of feeling.

We’ve spent a great deal of time analyzing this scene and how pivotal it is in the story of Sidney as the motivator behind his lowering of his emotional guard. But I don’t think we’ve spent nearly enough time asking ourselves what this exchange tells us about Charlotte.

Because this doesn’t just announce a change in Sidney, it also foreshadows one for her. Sidney is correct in implying she doesn’t really understand love because she’s never experienced it. She is, however, about to realize that she’s in love with him and thus her assertion that she’d rather be naïve than insensible of feeling is just about to be tested.

And the surprising result is … Charlotte fails at her own paradigm. For the rest of the season, she will never be as emotionally open as she is in episode 6.

Charlotte is unable to remain the open book, expansive girl in the face of first supposed unrequited love and then as she experiences loss. She, instead, withdraws inward and begins building up her walls just as Sidney did after Eliza left him.

I think Davies understands Austen’s ultimate message that you fall into the extreme of sense or sensibility at your own peril, which is why he chooses to have his main two characters traverse opposite journeys so they can be brought closer by the end of the story (in season 2 of course).

That’s because at the core of all of the fights and misunderstandings between Charlotte and Sidney sit two problems:

Sidney Parker does not believe in the good intentions of other people. He is operating from a place of hurt and feeling under attack. He is essentially under the impression that the people he comes into contact with have ulterior motives, and none of them are good. And you can’t really blame him for that distorted image of reality when you consider what the two most meaningful relationships in his life have been up until this point.

On the one hand you have Tom who weaponizes even the most benign of compliments:

Tom: At least I have your prowess on the cricket field to be thankful for.

Sidney: Well in truth you have Lord Babington to thank for that. I am here at his behest to give him support in his time of romantic need. God knows he shall need it.

Tom: You’re a good friend, Sidney … I don’t suppose you could try just one last time… [to go ask for money]

On the other hand, you have Eliza Campion who says stuff like this with a straight face:

Sidney: You didn’t have to wait for me, you know.

Eliza: I’ve waited for 10 years. What’s another quarter of an hour?

While researching this meta and also trying to figure out my Christmas fic, I’ve come to realize that both Tom and Eliza are using a victim narrative to get what they want from the people around them. What Sidney has learned from these relationships is that nothing in life comes for free. Any compliment, any sign of affection comes with a price tag or an eventual let down.

For her part, Charlotte Heywood is suspicious of Sidney because he doesn’t make himself easy to understand.

Charlotte thrives on communication and she tends to empathize and like people who share, or overshare, information with her. Her opinion on Tom shifts the moment he starts including her in his Sanditon projects. She is apprehensive of Otis for quite a bit of episode 4 but ends up completely on his side the moment he talks about his past as a slave and making innuendos about Sidney, despite neither one of those things really resolving her initial reasons for being apprehensive.

This behavior is really down to Charlotte’s upbringing in a very large but very happy family. Or as Eleanor Tilney in Northanger Abbey would put it:

Eleanor: I think you have had a quite dangerous upbringing. You’ve been brought up to believe that everyone is as pure in heart as you are.

Incidentally another Andrew Davies adaptation …

In Charlotte’s mind, people who are open emotionally and speak their mind must be good people. After all, she is this way and she certainly always has the best of intentions. When someone doesn’t do that, or worse they evade and try to manipulate, she distances herself from them, as is the case with Edward and Clara.

And since Charlotte views meaningful communication as the ultimate sign of trust, it’s this withholding of information, this emotional barrier she can sense in Sidney, that makes her mistrustful of him. She can’t understand his emotional withdrawal for what it is – a response to trauma - because she’s never experienced it. And as such she will always fundamentally misunderstand him.

We see these two character hang ups rearing their ugly heads again and again in their conflicts:

Episode 1

Sidney: And what have you observed about me upon our small acquaintance?

Charlotte: I think you must be the sensible brother of the three. I may be mistaken but it seems to me that your younger brother, Arthur, is a very … contrary nature. Alternately over lethargic and over energetic. While your elder brother, Tom, could be called over enthusiastic. I’m afraid that despite his good nature, he neglects his own happiness and his family’s in his passionate devotion to Sanditon. Don’t you agree?

Sidney: Upon my word, Miss Heywood, you are very free with your opinions. And upon what experience of the world do you form your judgments? Where have you been? Nowhere. What have you learnt? Nothing it would seem. And yet you take it upon yourself to criticize. Let me put it to you, Miss Heywood: which is the better way to live? To sit in your father’s home, with your piano and your embroidery, waiting for someone to come and take you off your parents’ hands? Or to expend your energy in trying to make a difference? To leave your mark. To leave the world in a better place than you found it. That is what my brother, Tom, is trying to do. At the expense of a great deal of effort and anxiety, in a good cause in which I do my best to help and support him. And you see fit to … to criticize him … to amuse yourself at his expense.

Fortunatelylori: … I have a theory that the reason why Sidney’s been forced into prostitution by the end of season 1 is because he used the argument of the fucking patriarchy to defend Tom The Worst Parker. Gee, Sidney, us women would love to go out there and change the world but your male friends are forcing us to stay home with our pianos and embroideries to make sure they take full advantage of our ovaries. Please take several seats!

Fortunatelylori: Also … fyi … Tom isn’t protecting England from the French or helping Warren de La Rue develop the freaking light bulb. He is trying to run a dime a dozen seaside resort and failing miserably at it so spare us the change the world one naked ass at a time speeches.

Charlotte is baited by Sidney, the emotional recluse, into oversharing which she can’t help herself from doing because even at this early stage she has a crush on him and wants to impress him with her insight. He takes that rather kind take on his brother Tom and spins it into a narrative of inexperienced superficiality and mockery because that’s what he’s conditioned himself to think about people.

Episode 2

Charlotte: Our conversation at the party … I expressed myself badly and I fear you misunderstood me. I didn’t mean to disparage your brother or to offend you. Indeed I have the greatest admiration for what you and he are doing here in Sanditon. You were right to rebuke me and indeed I am sorry. I hope you won’t think too badly of me.

Sidney: Think too badly of you? I don’t think of you at all, Miss Heywood. I have no interest in your approval or disapproval. Quite simply, I don’t care what you think or how you feel. I’m sorry if that disappoints you but there it is. Have I made myself clear?

Fortunatelylori: Badly done, Sidney! Badly done indeed!

Not much to say about Charlotte in this one as this argument is ALL on Sidney and his trust issues. In his world, this kind of earnest apology and brave taking of responsibility is always a precursor to a guilt trip or a victimization episode. So he has become very adept at shooting down any such attempt forcefully.

It’s only in episode 3, when he sees Charlotte helping Mr. Stringer without any expectations of reward and her accepting his apology without any hint of emotional blackmail that Sidney is able to lower his guard and begin to see Charlotte for the honest, kind and generous human being that she is:

Fortunatelylori: Awwww! This is Sidney essentially seeing his unborn children in Charlotte’s eyes. (that is the most romantic lyric in the English language and no one will convince me otherwise)

However, what ends up happening? Sidney lowers his guard just in time for Charlotte to reactivate her suspicions which leads to their most explosive fight to date:

Episode 4

Sidney: Did we not agree that you would look out for Georgiana? Keep her out of trouble? I should have known you weren’t to be trusted.

Charlotte: And I should have known, despite your professed concern, you care nothing for her happiness.

Sidney: I would ask you to refrain from making judgments about a situation you don’t understand.

Charlotte: I understand perfectly well!

Sidney: Of course you do! Even though you’ve known Georgiana but a handful of weeks and him but a matter of hours.

Charlotte: That was time enough to learn that Mr. Molyneux is as respectable a gentleman as I have ever had cause to meet.

Sidney: You seem to find it impossible to distinguish between the truth and your own opinion!

Charlotte: The truth? You wish to speak of the truth, Mr. Parker? The truth is you are so blinded by prejudice that you would judge a man by the color of his skin alone.

Sidney: You speak out of turn.

Charlotte: Why should I expect any better from a man whose fortune is so tainted with the stain of slavery!

Sidney: That is enough! … I do not need to justify myself to you.

They essentially spiral out of control in this scene. Sidney’s trust issues come back and his lack of feed-back to Charlotte’s accusations make her provide increasingly horrible explanations to fill in the blanks.

Because their fights tend to be very intense (they are both people with very strong personalities), it’s easy to think of the two of them as simply not being compatible.

But their issues aren’t a matter of compatibility but rather an inability to find the right channels on which to communicate with each other, despite both wanting to.

Which brings us to episode 5

I love these little acting choices Theo James makes. This sigh is so evocative because it’s pretty clear it’s not frustration or boredom, but rather Sidney still reeling from her accusations in episode 4.

On the other side, Charlotte looks at him and thinks he is distant and non-affected and because, despite being angry, she still wants to connect with him, she tries so hard to use Sidney’s acerbic wit against him and keeps attempting to poke the big grizzly bear:

Charlotte: I assume you are here for the cricket.

Sidney: Never short of assumptions, Miss Heywood.

Unable to find a chink in his cold shoulder, Charlotte tries again at the cricket match:

Charlotte: Good luck to you too, Mr. Parker. Although I imagine you don’t think you’ll need it.

Sidney: Yes more assumptions, Miss Heywood?

Sidney is so pissed at her in this episode, not even her low key flirting with James Stringer galvanizes him.

But then something quite unexpected happens … Without actually realizing it, Charlotte manages to find the right channel to communicate on:

Stringer: You haven’t got another player to replace him. We win.

Charlotte: I’ll play.

With the wide eyed enthusiasm of a true romantic, Charlotte taps into the core of what Sidney desperately needs in his life. She doesn’t just help and support him when he needs her to but crucially she doesn’t put a price tag on it.

Charlotte: Is that a smile I detected?

Sidney: Oh, I doubt it …

Charlotte doesn’t enter the cricket match because she wants to use that gesture to ask Sidney for money for her pyramid scheme or gaslight him into thinking her betrayal was actually her “waiting” for him. Charlotte does it because she wants to see him smile. And just look at him …

Unfortunately that momentary progress is derailed again when Georgiana is kidnapped which will eventually lead to the carriage scene in episode 6 where Charlotte’s need for feed-back clashes with Sidney’s trust issues in their most revealing conversation.

It’s tempting to look at this argument and think Sidney is the only one who is in the wrong and who needs to change. But that would be missing a few important aspects of the story.

Charlotte: Otis never meant to place Georgiana in harm’s way. Any more than I did.

Sidney: And yet you both did.

I think a lot of people, Charlotte included, fall into the trap of believing that if someone didn’t intend to harm someone else that means they haven’t actually done something wrong. Which is why there are still people in the Sanditon tag that are resisting the idea that Tom Parker is a villain. Surely he never meant to hurt his brother and he didn’t force him to propose to Eliza, so why is everyone so hard on him?

But like Charlotte had to learn with Otis, just because Tom didn’t intend to cause Sidney harm doesn’t change the fact that he very much did.

In this case, Charlotte’s major mistake was not that she helped Georgiana stay in touch with Otis. Charlotte’s mistake was in assuming she had the whole 1000 piece puzzle completed when she only had about 200 pieces in place.

Charlotte: All I ever cared about was Georgiana’s happiness.

Sidney: What did you think I cared about?

Charlotte: That is anyone’s guess!

Sidney: I’ve done the best I can by Georgiana.

Charlotte: No! At every turn you have abdicated responsibility. If you truly cared for her welfare, you would have watched over her yourself.

Sidney: It is a role I neither sought or asked for.

Charlotte: Of course not! Because you are determined to remain an outlier. God forbid you give something of yourself!

Sidney: Please do not presume to know my mind, Miss Heywood.

Charlotte: How could anyone know your mind? You take pains to be unknowable. All I know is that you cannot bear the idea of two people being in love.

Despite admitting she doesn’t know his mind, Charlotte can’t help herself from filling in the blanks with what she assumes is a conscious desire to be uncaring. Because she doesn’t have the life experience to come up with another answer.

For his part, Sidney is hurt by her lack of trust in him but unwilling to trust her enough in return to tell her the whole story. Still her words do affect him enough to make him begin to lower his barrier and give Theo James one of his best acting moments:

Sidney: And what do you know of love? Apart from what you’ve read?

Charlotte: I would sooner be naïve than insensible of feeling.

Sidney: Is that really what you think of me? I’m sorry that you think that. How much easier my life would have been if I were …

Fortunatelylori: I just … he’s very good … that is all

It would be very tempting to assume that since Charlotte admits to being naïve once the whole Otis and Georgiana’s situation is revealed:

Charlotte: It’s all so overwhelming! I hardly know what to think anymore. (beat) About anything! I’ve always felt so certain of my judgment. But now I see that I have been blinded by sentiment and naivety. How could I have gotten it all so wrong? No wonder your brother has such a poor opinion of me …

and Sidney begins to show more outward concern for the people around him and validate Charlotte in ever increasingly romantic ways:

Charlotte: I know … I’m too headstrong. I’m too opinionated. I’m too …

Sidney: No. You are not too anything. Don’t doubt yourself. You’re more than equal to any woman here.

That their clashing world views are now aligned. But the truth is, Sidney isn’t the one to explain to Charlotte how it was that he became “insensible of feeling”. It’s Tom that tells her that story (and then promptly bungles whatever help he might have provided his brother). Sidney’s trust issues remain which is evident even as late as episode 8:

Babbington: I believe she’s tamed me.

Sidney: Yes … I just imagine how that might feel.

And

Sidney: I have never wanted to put myself in someone else’s power before.

Don’t get me wrong, I melt every time I hear that second line but it is indicative of the fact that love still feels like an inherently risky and dangerous thing for Sidney where he is obliged to hand over his power to someone else and pray that person doesn’t abuse it the way Eliza did.

For Charlotte’s part, Sidney beginning to reveal more of himself and show her the true man underneath the armor, makes her fall more and more in love with him. And the more she loves him, the more afraid she is of outwardly showing it. His confusion over his feelings for her and Eliza’s reappearance in his life, cause her to attempt to fill in the blanks again in episode 7. First by proxy, while talking to James Stringer:

Charlotte: You are far too sensible to form such a misguided and futile attachment.

Stringer: Why should it be futile, Miss Heywood? For all you know your feelings are repaid 5 times over.

Charlotte: I allowed myself to believe so for the briefest of moments. But I cannot deny the evidence of my own eyes.

And then directly:

Sidney: I hope you weren’t too offended by Mrs. Campion. It was only meant in jest.

Charlotte: Is that all I am to you? A source of amusement?

Sidney: No. Of course not! You’re … Forgive me.

Charlotte: On the contrary, you’ve done me a great service. I am no longer in any doubt as to how you regard me.

So what happens in episode 8? Well, they essentially trade places, going from this:

Charlotte: I hope you won’t think too badly of me.

Sidney: Think too badly of you? I don’t think of you at all, Miss Heywood.

To this:

Sidney: Tell me you don’t think too badly of me.

Charlotte: I don’t think badly of you.

In one of my metas I made the point that Sidney Parker IS Charlotte Heywood’s coming of age story: he is her first love, the first man she is sexually attracted to, her first kiss and well … unfortunately also her first (and hopefully only) heartbreak.

By being forced to deal with her own sense of loss and the pain of being separated from the person she loves, Charlotte will finally be able to understand the true nature of Sidney’s insensitivity of feeling. Instead of causing her suspicion or apprehension, she will be able to connect with it because she’s lived through it herself.

As for Sidney … I don’t think it’s a coincidence that in the end he is forced to do to Charlotte what Eliza did to him all those years ago. He chooses to marry a wealthy woman he does not love and disappoint a poor woman whom he does love.

I think given that his motives are obviously altruistic while Eliza’s were not (both per Tom’s story as well as her general character as revealed in the show so far), the point of the similarity is not to bring him closer to Eliza. Certainly not when he’s looking at Charlotte like this:

Which means that him being forced to contend with what happened 10 years ago by reliving the incident, this time in the role of the aggressor, is there to increase his level of vulnerability and put him in the place of the earnest person trying to reach out for emotional connection and having to fight to pull down the walls he himself helped put up in Charlotte.

You know what they say … If you really want to know someone, walk a mile in their shoes. No one ever said those shoes would be comfortable.

#sanditon #sanditon meta #sidlotte #sidlotte meta #jane austen adaptations #sidney parker #charlotte heywood #sense and sensibility #sanditonmetacollab

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aharris00britney · 4 years

Photo

ASKS 18

Andromeda’s a big wide open galaxy; okay anyways here are some asks about Dead by Daylight, ayoshi collab, sims 5, my old recolors, and just some sweet people who sent me some nice messages <3

Anonymous said: In your collab with Ayoshi, the outfit that shows off the Ciara Top and Jess shorts, where can I find the garter belt accessory used with the shorts?

Those stockings get asked about SO much lmao. They are BY Ayoshi like.. idk why people ask about them. I desperately want him to remake them with new textures. Maybe one day lmao. All of his CC is in this post including the stocking (Miso Tights).

Anonymous said: Omg whos your dead by daylight main

Kate and Yui <3 I have been using Jane recently too. I play as Spirit for killer but I only do killer for the challenges LMAO

Anonymous said: I am very new to The Sims world, ts4 is my first time playing, and finding out I can have mods on my game change my world, and you are one of my favorite creators! So I just came to say you are really amazing. I think I have all of your hairs, and most of you others cc, it is because of you my townies look so cute nowadays!! Remember your effort is really valued and you are loved!!!

thank you so so so much ;n; I would really advise against having all of my hairs lmao there are like 150+ and a lot of the older ones have issues i want to fix... just need to find the time

Anonymous said: what do u use to get the little sparkles in your edits :o is it a brush?

I honestly don’t remember. Every since the first one I just use the same lookbook PSD that has the sparkle on it. These look similar though so try them.

Anonymous said: wcif the first two chokers used in your pic for your hairs you just put up on your patreon?

All of my patreon cc posts are public the day they go up. the download is for patrons only but the CC posts are public. Those always have the CC i use linked at the bottom. Always. They have since June of last year. Just go to my Patreon and scroll down to the hairs, and you will see them linked. No pledging or following required.

Anonymous said: Do you have a Ko-Fi? I’m wary about trying to send a one-off via Patreon incase I forget to cancel the next month.

I have a paypal.me link > here < but please don’t feel inclined to donate. Also if you do a one-off with Patreon you can cancel it right after you pledge and you’ll still have access to the Patreon content til the end of the month.

Anonymous said: not to rush you or anything but bella is one of the prettiest sims you've ever created and i can't wait for you to release her omg

Bella queen wbk (thank you)

Anonymous said: your models are so pretty! would you consider release the tray files of them?

that is the plan, not sure when though. I am building them a house rn which i’ve been having fun doing. They all lived in a basement before

Anonymous said: hi :) just out of curiosity, what is the EA policy u always mention concerning the third hairs in ur posts? thanks!

CC put on Patreon is supposed to be post within 21 days of going on Patreon. One of the community managers said it a while ago. I have the details on my Patreon about me page if you want to read and get links. <3

@ariapixie said: Happy New Years!!🎆🎉🎉🎆🎇🎆

thank you!!! i hope youve been having an amazing year so far <3

Anonymous said: Heey love :) I am obssessed with your hairstyles *_* you're the reason I switched from alpha to MM :) just wanted to ask you how come you no longer include recolors for your latest hairstyles? :)

well there were a few reasons:

1). I never used the recolors myself. I like the colors I just never used them 2). I got comments about the colors looking too metalic 3). I had started Patreon around that time and doing recolors for 3 (and sometimes more) hairs every month would have been a lot. Especially bc my DDS was broken so I had to do them a bit more complicated than just saving as DDS.

I know that some people really liked my recolors, and I am sorry if me stopping caused any issues. There are actions for the hair colors and recoloring hair is really easy to learn and do.

@sadnessimmer said: 💌This is the Amazing Person Award! Once you are given this award you are supposed to paste it in the ask of eight different people, who, in your opinion, deserve it. If you break the chain nothing will happen, but it is sweet to know someone thinks you’re amazing inside and out! 💌

Anonymous said: how is your content so amazing ily so much 🥺💕

Anonymous said: Thank you so much for all that you do! Your hairs and collabs are amazing

thank you so much!

Anonymous said: Could you ever see yourself creating hairs (or custom content in general) for the Sims 5 once it comes out?

If the style is something I enjoy and the creation method is similar yes

@ariapixie said: Hi I think tumblr ate my ask so I’m sorry if you’ve already gotten this. I really love your editing it’s so beautiful and I was wondering if you would ever consider doing a tutorial on how you do it

honestly most of the time i do stuff differently. I run the same topaz/sharpening actions every time and then add some shadows and play with curves. Nothing that is super intensive tbh. I wouldn’t even know how to go about doing a tutorial tbh

Anonymous said: What's your name on the gallery? I can't ever seem to find anything from you, or do you not have one?

aharris00britney; make sure you have CC enabled

@wcifblog said: Hi, I am in love with your CC. I'm a simmer for a long time but just lately I've been trying to learn how to make my own CC. I've seen some of your speed meshing videos and I was wondering if you'd ever consider making a tutorial for beginners on how to create a new mesh from scratch. (I'm trying to create a curly hair on blender but I'm stupid I guess). Thank you so much for all your work, love, Kel.

hey! thank you so much <3 I actually don’t mesh stuff from scratch though. So I’m afraid I am not able to help in that department :( I’m sorry

@tarrinix said: would it be possible for you to upload a mass file for download that has all of your hairs? (I'm asking for only the ones created by you so others don't miss out of credit links and things like that.)

I really wanted to get all my 2019 CC updated before the end of the year and have it up in a .zip. But I never got around do updating stuff from the start of the year. I need to get back into updating stuff I just am so.. unmotivated recently? Idk hopefully I can get all my stuff updated in the next few months and have some mass downloads for 2017, 2018, and 2019 stuff.

@xayami said: any thoughts on 365? 😳

well.... im excited for B#RN. that is what matters, right? LMAO I’m going through a Weyes Blood/FKA Twigs phase rn so I haven’t been listening to much kpop. Especially at the time that 365 released.

Anonymous said: the sim modeling your piper hair can murder me and i will thank her over and over how make good sim

Anonymous said: it's not even just her it's every GODDANG MODEL!!!

LMAO Ivy is my 2nd blond model. She is a queen isn’t she? She is actually the sim from this lookbook and I just randomly added her to my models household and she stayed.

#asks #if anyone knows some albums that are like titanic rising pls recommend #i listened to front way seat to earth already #and loved that too #love Magdalene too #i just want some new music zzz #ive been building an actual house for my model sims the past few days #bc they lived in a basement before #and it is so bad edfgsefdc i like NEVER build anything #then my mouse broke and i struggle using the trackpad #so im on break from it

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