#i am paraphrasing and not looking up the ep do not @ me but this is how i remember this and this is how it shall be

[hotboiessek]

just remembered the session with kashaw and zahra when vax learns the troubling news that some people are not bi and he took the news like a champ by drunkenly locking himself in a closet 

[frogskelton]

Quick poster for episode two,

Info about plan for episode two

For episode two is when Noah starts having the evil grow inside him and begin the start of journey to villainy. (Probs obvi by poster)

But first Alejandro has his little intro moment and him and Zoey start to develop a sort of friendship, while Heather is kinda nervous to see him again and Noah is helping no one. He has his little vengeance on Alejandro, teasing him a bit and probably making it things worse for Heather by being himself.

On the Clown Caterpillars, Cameron talks to Gwen about smt that won’t make sense til full ep comes out and eventually leads to the reveal of why Cam has the new outfit, he thinks he is rlly cool and can take on anything now, Scott ends up teasing him and people don’t like Scott now, but still feels bad.

Blah, blah, blah, challenge.

CC (caterpillar clowns) start off rlly good till the GG (Ghoulish Guinea pigs) pull some sabotage, thanks to Alejandro, giving them a chance and so GG end up winning the first challenge, reward with tools for the next challenge.

Next challenge is to escape whilst the place is crumbling. The CC mange to leave the main area only to get more stuck, thanks to their non stop fighting , and Cameron takes charge as a leader, quickly encouraging his team to quick aside their constant fighting. Something is Cam’s speech gives Courtney some encouragement to take Gwen back. Most of the GG do pretty well getting out, though thanks to Noah accidentally damaging the tools get stuck and Noah decides , so Noah suggests they look in this giant oven for a way to get out, only for him to trap Joe in there and pin their failure on her, determined to not be the first one voted off his team again.

Afterwards, Joe is blaming Noah, but Noah insistes it was Joe who broke the tools and got herself stuck. The team is mixed on it, though Alejandro defends Noah and says he does think Noah would do any of that.

Also Heather and Alejandro make up and become friends, again.

This is a lot of paraphrasing cause if I’m actually gonna continue making all these episodes gonna leave so stuff. But, like between part one and two of ep one, there is probs gonna be a jump is quality cuz I am still experimenting with his stuff and now that I’ve got a substantial amount done, I’m more willing to put more effort in.

Trying to get other people who aren’t just me to do the voice acting too, asking some friends n stuff, because just me is not a recipe for success.

[lazzarella]

And it's Wandee Goodday rambling notes time again! I'm so glad I've been out of it this week because Saturday got here quicker than usual haha

- Ahh, opening with another soft sleeping scene! Look at Dee, he's so fond just looking at Yak sleep!

- Another nightmare!! Aww, poor Yak

- Why is Dee scratching Yak's back so cute and sweet?? Also, where can I get me someone to scratch my back??

- I love that Dee asks Yak for some support! And that Yak immediately takes his hand and tries to boost his confidence! For all their inability to verbalise or settle on their own feelings for each other, they're still good at communicating in others ways, and I like that it adds this layer of complexity that makes them feel more real?

- First watch, Dee felt a little pushy about the psych thing, but the second time I realised he doesn't push too much before Yak agrees. Plus, Yak is always pushing the no kiss boundary XD

- Is Yak in another now unneeded disguise or is that just a really ugly outfit?

- And why is he noseying through Dee's things? Oof! That photo! But that's what you get for snooping I guess :P

- Still! My heart! His sad little face ;__;

- What's up with the first kiss poster in the lift? Am I missing something?

- (Okay, that double flashback with the notebook/photo was a little confusing and usually the editing in this show doesn't confuse me lol so, Yak saw that Dee was going to get rid of the book/photo at some point, but then he didn't, which might be more upsetting than if he'd just found it for the first time that morning?)

- Kao yet again calling Dee out for complicating things! lol I totally get Dee's hesitation, though!

- That quote about losing someone you love if you don't show it sometimes is so on point

- Ter throwing down the gauntlet! I do not like this man lol

- "Mommy is all ears" But I LOVE Cher! And I love Yak's little family

- Ooh, I love that the "If you say you don't care about someone but keep their things" (paraphrased) from the trailer was about Dee keeping Ter's photo

- Blimey! That weight training scene!!! Also, how do they go from sexy to sweet so seamlessly??

- Ahhhh! I WAS NOT PREPARED FOR YAK IN THE SHOWER! Give a girl some warning. Whew

- That bathroom scene is SO flirty! I'm glad we're still getting flirty scenes with them. And Yak looked kinda into getting sniffed by Dee there 👀

- Omg. Omg. Yak and Yei's adorable little boxing glove signs with their names on their doors. Ahhhhhhhhhhh. Have they had them since they were kids??? It's so cute :3

- Yak sneaking out is so funny! But then seeing Yei WATCHING HIM took me out lmaoooo

- A candlelit dinner!!! Is that Dee taking Kao's advice?? (To show how he feels)

- Oh, there are candles everywhere! I guess that's romantic but my brain always screams death trap XD

- ugh, go away, Ter! That's what Dee should've said >:(

- OMG YAK HAS A KEY??? We didn't know this before right???

- Okay, I thought I was disappointed in Dee for going with Ter when he has plans with Yak, but I'm actually disappointed that they set it up so weakly. We know Ter is manipulative and have seen Dee is still getting caught up in it and is still uncertain of his feelings toward both Ter and Yak. And I can believe he might want to resolve those conflicting feelings. BUT we've also seen him push back against his manipulative tactics more than once lately (though we’ve also seen him start to soften again), so it makes little sense to me that he'd just go so willingly so quickly when he’s in the middle of setting up a romantic dinner for Yak? If they'd just shown him be like 'I have plans' and Ter cajoling him, I'd have believed it. But it felt kinda weak and I wouldn't have cared but I love Dee so much and it just feels off enough to bother me!! But it's also the ONLY thing in seven eps that's disappointed me, so... Anyway, we now return to our regularly scheduled programming rambling:

- Yak just waiting is breaking my heart ;__;

- Wait, Dee sent Kao a voice message? When? How? Dee left his phone in his apartment?? I'm so confused lol (it really feels like they didn't know how to get Yak to Ter's apartment to see him and Dee together XD whatever, I'm handwaving it, it's going to lead to delicious angst, and I've handwaved bigger things)

- Pow! Right in the kisser!

- Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

- (by the way, I 100% believe Yak getting upset this fast and ending things because Ter was goading him earlier and he found that photo and we know he’s super insecure in general)

- Oh no! Yak taking the necklace off Dee as an inverse of when he gave it to him ;__;

- (This is why I handwave inconsistencies because it gives me scenes like that 👆🏻)

- So pretty when cry (this is literally what my notes said lmao)

- Omgggggggggg! Dee reaching for the necklace but it's NOT THERE! That look of UTTER devastation!!! Fuuuuuuuuck. Inn's acting in this scene is on fire

- Ofc Taem is there! Haha. Idc because Yak is so endearing when he's sad—Great's acting is also fire

- Dee is still messaging Yak!!!

- Awwwwwww! Dee has a pink suitcase! I love this man so much <3

- Oof! Super awkward almost kiss with Taem! Like... There was tension, but it was not sexual lol on either side. At least, I don't think so. Taem's hard for me to read?? She looked shocked, but not happily so, but maybe she did want to kiss him, I have no idea, arghhhhhhh. I have like 3 theories about her but they’ll probably all be wrong so I’m not sharing them 🤣

- AND! I love that they both opened their eyes and pulled back? Like, you can see Yak is realising that's not what he wants. That was really nicely done

- I have nothing to say about Dee and Ter in Japan or drunk!Ter or their almost kiss lol

- Sigh. Boxing is so boring...

- (Okay, to date, my only encounter with Luke was him saying Mix has a big(?) ass and a sweet face in Safehouse lol I just needed to write that down)

- The boxing match is excruciating! D:

- okay, seeing Dee and Ter everywhere, already explained but what’s with the Nazgûl dude???

- Hee! Dee speaking English is so cute!

- "Someone like me keeps disappointing everyone" -> oof, we're really seeing the depths of Yak's insecurities! Because earlier he said something to Dee about never doing anything right in his eyes?? Damn

- That single tear rolling down Yei's cheek ;__;

- "Doc. I lost" Ahhhhhhhhh! MY HEART! The way he says that????

- THEY ARE KISSING!!!!! ON MY SCREEN! THEY. ARE. KISSING!!!!

- I love that Dee initiates and just goes right in, his hand cupping Yak's face, no need to say anything, because the kiss is enough

- Awww. Yak's face when Dee says it's a consolation reward! He looks kinda disappointed but resigned??? Goodness me

- THIS KISS IS ALL FROM ME! OMFG!!!! YES! YES! SUCH A BEAUTIFUL WAY TO DO THIS!!!!

- I no longer care about inconsistencies or weak characterisation THIS KISS IS EVERYTHING!!!!!

- (I wonder how many of the fifteen kisses we saw, I didn’t count lol)

- The preview is giving me a lot, but also kind of nothing, but also DEE HAS THE NECKLACE BACK! WOO! Hope we get to see it being returned to him

[bizlybebo]

can you say random words to me. dump hcs or smthn idk i like yr posts /nf

YEAAAH HIII OFC !!! THIS IS A HUGE COMPLIMENT ^__^ i’m so predictable it’s mostly dakota thoughts right now </3 but i am THINKING about thsi stuoid fucking podcast prime defenders hyperfixation has me in its evil grasp

currently on the second half of my s2 ep 36 rewatch and. gah.

thinking about how grizzly said (paraphrased) “dakota’s not scared of anything anymore. not bears, not— the only thing that he fears now is the horrors from the trickster’s mouth”.

thinking about how he couldn’t even bring himself to hurt the trickster because behind all that distortion and fear it still looked like ashe. like i’ve been saying it so much today but the trickster is sooo fucking terrifying it’s not even funny.

also brainrotting post-canon demonkicks soo bad lately. thinking about dakota “accidentally” leaving his flannels in ashe’s dorm so he has excuses to come visit again. literally ashe gives him back one of his flannels and another two appear.

ALSO still thinking about my “william and dakota are dogs, vyncent and ashe are cats” post and the addition to it and i’m. still ouuuguguhh over it. haven’t yet been able to rewatch the greyscale arc but i’m seriously trying to hype myself up to do it because man i keep thinking about william’s family/childhood. i keep thinking about “i guess deadwood feels like going crazy”, or david keeping apple juice in his office for william, or william seeing his hometown haunted to a further extent. i keep thinking about him being paranoid after greyscale arc and constantly convinced somebody Knows what he’s done.

and while we’re at it i’m thinking a lot about suntrip lately. doomed yuri </3

thinking about summer, who’s body is constantly changing and warping and it’s unfamiliar and scary to her. and i’m thinking about jade, who despite all her teasing of everybody else, loves summer for her determination and her attitude and her personality and how smart she is.

i’m also thinking about doug if i’m being so real. doug jrwi did shitty things but i love him so much and i seriously think he deserves/deserved sooo much better. like c’mon. he was only 17-18. the overlord’s entire syndicate was breathing down his neck. he was an asshole but i love him he means the world to me. thinking about him saying “sup losers” when he sees pd in deadwood again. thinking about him laughing when william(?) slides a can of monster energy over to him in s2 ep19. like it’s small details like that but come ONN. it’s not quite forgiveness but it’s allyship and it’s understanding. thinking about his redemption and character growth. thinkingggg about his friendship with summer and how she didn’t give up on him when he had probably given up on himself. thinking about the shared guilt they have. thinkinggggg. doug jrwi they could never make me hate you <3

also transfem professor cross ^__^ also vyncent collects shiny things (mostly gold) and he’s so proud of his collection. he stole lightspeeds watch one time before he understood how important those things were. also i tjink ashe winters deserves a gun

[revvethasmythh]

i finally cracked and spent like half an hour tracking down that post you keep referencing because i had NO IDEA what you were talking about and i found it and........ my analysis is that its written by someone who really wanted their relationship to Be A Certain Way and projected that onto them and the depth and reveal of veth shattered that and created that very simplistic analysis. its coming from a place where nott and caleb were their one and only's, no question who each other's #1 Person was, but like OBVIOUSLY a husband and son interrupt that. and caleb was A priority for veth rather than The priority for nott.

which completely ignores her struggle to balance her radically different lives and caleb's constant compassion and struggle to protect her AND her family...... because he loves her so he loves them and became an integral part of their lives too...... idk it just struck me as coming from a very particular place

Oh anon, you should have spared yourself and just not looked it up. I don't want to harangue about the post too much because I did plenty of that last year (sorry I can't direct you to those posts, they're old and none of them were searchably tagged so it'd be a bitch and a half to find them), but like yeah I do think the take came from A Particular Place and that there's a lot of projection happening there, I agree with that. It's just that the post is basically only projection, and the place it comes from overlaps with the land of delusion where we never watched the show past episode 47, but yeah, that is A Place and apparently 1.5k other people have also visited this Place, which is one of my least favorite things I am burdened with knowing about.

Like, it's the gall to say that Caleb was looking at Veth and thinking "maybe she's as weird as I am" and things like that that get me because it's such a staggeringly ahistorical take, particularly considering Veth's backstory hinges on the fact that she was bullied her whole life for being WEIRD. And I recently happened upon a clip from the Talks for episode 50 where Liam was answering a question about how Caleb was taking the Veth reveal and his answer essentially boiled down to [paraphrased], "Caleb already loved Nott and thought they were similar--but now he knows they're even more alike than he could have guessed. And he loves her. He just loves her."

The idea that the Veth reveal shattered all of Caleb's visions and dreams of what their relationship was now that he knows who Nott "really" is (a "Happily Married Straight Woman" as OP so helpfully describes, in contrast to Caleb's newly listless and unmoored "Queer Neurodivergent Friend") is so ahistorical I need to go to a rage room about it. That did not happen. I have to believe the only way someone could agree with this is if they never watched past ep. 47, but considering how many people interacted positively with that post, I somewhat doubt that's the case, which makes it, like, the prime example of how Veth (a relatively unpopular character) seems to be thought of--and misinterpreted--by the wider fandom. And, in the words of Liam O'Brien himself: "That's a big matzo ball."

[docholligay]

Ep 6: Taissa

Hello! This is about up to Episode 6 of Yellowjackets, and ONLY episode 6 of Yellowjackets. I have not seen beyond the sixth episode, at all, and know NOTHING about this show. Please do not spoil it for me.  Things that are spoilery in nature, for me, include: saying things like  “Just wait!!” confirming or denying anything I put forward, outside information about the cast interviews or creator statements, leading questions like “Do you think “blank moment” means anything?” etc. Remember  that Y’ALL HAVE SEEN THE SHOW AND I HAVE NOT. This informs the way you  talk about things relating to the show. Just be really careful is all  I’m asking. Also: If there is LITERALLY any stance I  could take on this show or character that would make you upset, please  just fucking block the tag

If you WOULD like to discuss the show and my takes on it, the Discord is right here! I don’t go there, so it’s a great place to get every emotion out.

Please thank @sailorsunspot and @moonlight-frittata for backing this odd way of doing a liveblog, and remember my tip jar is always open

There are two wolves inside you, and they are both Taissa. The bad lady and the wolf…are Taissa. I feel good about this theory though this is just a theory. Taissa IS in fact a different woman from the women her wife married. There’s a Taissa that wants to take care of her family, and help her community, and there’s a Taissa that wants to simply win and hunt and kill. So for us all, but of course NARRATIVELY, I think it’s on the level. 

She is still the leader of this operation, and Nat and Shauna would have not idea what to do without looking to her. 

I sense deeply I should be getting into this Taissa and Van thing, and I’m not opposed to it by any stretch of the imagination, but it’s not all that interesting to me. We’re being set up, I think, to have something happen to Van, and to use that to set something off in Taissa. That’s about my level of engagement with it, and I’m fine with that. Seeing Taissa lose her fucking mind is the real OTP here, so I’m satisfied. 

But that doesn’t make their whole naked dunk completely disinteresting to me au contrary, I love when Taissa says, in response to Van saying she always wins: “Why do you think I like to play?” That’s it. That’s Taissa. She isn’t here to do anything but win, and THAT is why she could not give up the race even though she has become the wolf hunting her family down and the evil lurking outside Sammy’s window, and I think on some level she must know that. I don’t know if I think she’d engage with it for even five goddamn seconds, but I think if she really thought about it, she would know that.  And yet. She can’t stop. 

It’s also interesting to me in that..she does not seem interested in continuing things with Van afterward. In response to the idea that everyone will find out anyhow, Taissa says, paraphrased, ‘lol not if I run’. And don’t get me wrong, it’s easy to sit here in the year of y’all’s lord 2023 and tell Taissa to come out, when, in the 90s it was a real, actual problem in the US that had actual repercussions socially and financially, and I am not gonna let anyone sit here and call her a coward or ashamed when I’ve seen y’all unable to call your representatives out of anxiety. I’m not saying ‘you gotta give Taissa all the points.” I left home to accomplish my life. I’m saying, “Everything in life is a fucking decision, and you have to decide what costr is worth it, and what is too high. We all have priorities.” 

But onto the actual plan, to answer some questions brought up in my asks: Is it better from a non-narrative situation (Love the phrasing on this, will bring it up in a second) for the group to try and hike it out or hold on where they are? And the answer is: Yes. 

What needs to be done in this situation is to have, and this should have been done about a month ago, a small group of the strongest and most wilderness-canny people follow water down until they find something, and they ALMOST CERTAINLY will find something. Even the most remote areas, if you follow a creek down, it will very likely reach a river, which will very likely reach a road, which will very likely reach a settlement. (By the way, Tai, this is much smarter than merely heading “South.” You can go south in the rockies a long time without hitting anything. You could walk nearly all the way through Montana.) If this were my family, me and Mike would head out--I know how to survive well in the wilderness, and I hike very fast, Mike can generally keep up with me, and Jill needs to stay and take care of those who can’t follow. But yes, I think this is the logical, terrifying thing to do in this situation. 

Now, back to narratively. There’s no way Taissa is leaving. I have no idea what the mechanism of her being trapped there will be. Maybe it’s the aforementioned ‘something almost certainly is going to happen to Van.’ But she’s not going anywhere. 

Speaking of going places: I think Simone should leave Taissa. But Doc, you love Taissa. I love Taissa narratively, of course, and I find myself every single episode uncomfortably identifying with her (In which way can YOU not possibly cope with the weight of situations? Tag yourself!) but, she’s not a good wife. She’s not a good mother. She is sacrificing everything at the altar of her need to win and to conquer, and in doing this, she proves to herself over and over that if she FAILED in the woods, it must have been because it was impossible to win, not ANY weakness in her. She is on the hunt, and because of that, she has blinders on, and she can’t see all the things she’s leaving behind. 

Kind of on that note, and on Simone saying, “You know for someone who’s been through some shit--” all of us, every single one, has a tendency to universalize our experience, and this filters down in a million different ways. It’s why you see people armchair diagnosing historical figures and characters and etc with disorders and genders and sexualities, it’s why people struggle to understand complex and varying viewpoints, it is something so so difficult to guard against in our normal lives. And, coming from someone like Taissa, it can be extremely difficult to come through adversity, figure it out, at least on paper, and see someone else crumbling underneath it. I am Taissa going, “For fuck’s sake” about the idea that my, nine year old, I think, raised in a huge house ina  wealthy neighborhood, has it that fucking hard.Now, this is the one way of universalizing one’s experience that gets constantly criticized, but ask yourself in truth--are you not also guilty of this? I feel like this is an insane thing for Simone to say, because to me, having come through it makes you know how possible it is. I do not think this is my, or Taissa’s most perfect trait, but it is a very human one. 

Come to the end of Taissa BITING HERSELF. Yes. What else could you do with that? 

[meowstix]

OK SO!! here's some bakuten shoot dub changes i find interesting!!!! keep in mind this only covers the first like.. 7 episodes and even then i didn't watch all of them in full (it was only around ep 4 that i actually sat through most of it) so obviously this is nowhere near comprehensive, it's just some things i find noteworthy (also i'm not even getting into the 3 dub-exclusive characters i don't even think i need to explain anything there)

in the japanese version only certain people can see sacred beasts, there's not really any specific criteria or rules about it, meanwhile in the dub it seems everyone can see em. i can kind of get why they changed this seeing as how it's a small detail that doesn't really contribute much yet still raises questions

there's a bit in ep 3 where kyojyu is like... weirdly suspicious of max? like in the japanese version kyojyu's just like "yeah you really shouldn't underestimate this guy takao" in the dub he's like "idk isn't this all a bit Sussy? Imposter Behavior even?" (obviously that is paraphrased but you get the idea)

in the dub Only, kai is mentioned to be the like... regional champion i think? idk what the term is but again it's a thing that's only ever mentioned in the dub

OK SO. kyojyu, manabu, kenny, whatever the hell you wanna call him i just go with kyojyu personally. an interesting little thing about him is that in the dub version, yeah his nickname is the chief but he's still called kenny pretty regularly. in the sub, while kyojyu is very much a nickname aswell, almost everyone refers to him by this. there's like 2 cases i can think of where he's referred to by his first name and neither of them are in the first season you straight up do not hear it at all until v-force and even after that it's barely said. idk it's a weird little thing, again i'm not really surprised the dub changed it

this next one i'm going to admit. bothers the absolute shit out of me i have no idea why they did this one. so in the japanese version, it's stated that the pendant with genbu is from max's mother. and as we know she ends up being a pretty relevant character a bit later in the season. for some reason though, in the dub, it's stated that the pendant was given to max by some basically nonexistent grandma. i'm not really sure how to explain the effect lost here but hopefully it's self-evident

this one is super minor but idk there's something abt it i find notable. so when max runs into kai after their match they have a quick exchange and there's one change that i just find to be. well something, in the dub kai's like "oh uh. thanks i guess?"... meanwhile in the japanese version kai just calls max a naive fool. i'm kind of curious if this is just a one-off case of this or if kai just isn't as much of an asshole in the dub

they literally cannot pronounce driger right every time they say it i die a little inside

GRANDPA ALERT!!!!!!

ok sorry that line just caught me off guard. emergency alert systems there is an old bitch in the area. anyway so the dub adds an entire bit to this episode of it being tyson's birthday? the title seems to imply it's his 13th more specifically so that's the closest thing you're getting to a canon age confirmation (atleast in the anime) i guess. but yeah in the japanese version the celebration is because his grandpa views takao's match with kai as a duel

this isn't really a specific thing but. as much as i hate to admit it. ok some of the dub's jokes do land pretty well. the commentators in particular just going off these few eps i'd say for the most part their banter is generally funnier than almost all of g-rev's attempts to shove in daichi as comedy relief. dizzi isn't nearly as funny but the "what do i look like a compute- oh yeah" that was pretty good

tldr i am so mad (/hj) that this dub is actually pretty interesting what the fuck

[beeblading]

wednesday ep1 thoughts in no particular order:

the relationship between her and morticia just seems weird. was wednesday hating her mother ever a thing?

who let their mary sue loose?

snobby judgemental mean girl is snobby and mean.

how many boys do we need crushing on, honestly? again- come get your mary sue she got loose. hashtag not like other girls.

yeah I agree with ppl saying there's something not right with the parents in terms of their characters and what they do/don't approve of. I feel maybe in my mind those parents were pretty laid back and are now too serious?? I can't put my finger on what is wrong specifically.

I always get this when watching Addams Family stuff but like what's their deal though? open to weird stuff and weird people but only if they're goth enough? "I don't want to be a housewife like you" is an insult but telling her she has (paraphrasing again) no heart was a compliment? is it just me that thinks they've always been a little inconsistant with their beliefs? I get that it's a comedy so who cares but it always catches me off guard lol

(a very recurring thought) I think I'm too old to be watching this, like I'm clearly not the audience for this. same with Sabrina and Riverdale like I think I'm actually supposed to turn my brain off when watching this and just be wooed by the aesthetics and hot actors or something.

I hope we get a groundhog day situation with this series where she learns to be less of a snobby holier-than-thou mean girl etc. but again with my general confusion with the addams family in all reincarnations lol like what is your deal?! lol

again with riverdale (I could only stomach 2 maybe 3 eps) and sabrina it seems to be all about the superficial aesthetics and quips. but again I am only on episode one so I'll give them a chance to flesh out the story and characters some more.

I love the deadpan dark humour that the addams family has. but sometimes it's hard to tell what is a joke for jokes sake and what is part of their true beliefs (maybe that's just me?)

she really doesn't blink!! I love that. I'm sending eye drops babe

okay so she's suffering from boomer brain like hah I am above technology look at how special and cool I am blah blah. and they acknowledge her using her laptop with a lazy quip BUT SHE -SHE READ THE GIRLS BLOG BEFORE.

I'm making it sound like I really hated this episode but I didn't, I think I'm shy about warming up to a character/idea after Sabrina disappointed me lol (they did witchcraft dirty)

[kotasaku-anon]

I think I've found Policeman A's name? On S2's first ep, a guy that looks like him drinks at the bar Yugiri works in. I say that he looks like him because it's not actually in the wiki, but he talked about protecting Saga's peace again, like a policeman? Yugiri called him Suenaga-kun.

I really like your fics btw, my favorites right now are Kotaro Has No Friends and History Repeats.

It was really funny how Kotaro just told the boy how he almost killed Maimai and the boy later thanking him so he wouldn't turn out like him. Then it turned out Maimai knew childhood friends thing, I had to stop reading and walk around when I read that (turns out it was already the end of the fic).

The fact that Policeman A didn't have a name made the whole fic funnier, it's probably more hilarious if his name is never used at all. I really liked how the fic just smashcuts when he's about to say his name.

You can tell tumblr is a very beautifully functioning website because I was trying to respond to you and my post crashed/it deleted my whole response. How unfortunate. Tumblr did not want Policeman A’s lore to be shared that much.

Thank you SOOO much for this ask. It really made me happy to see that you liked my fics so I had to put in some research to confirm/deny this claim, because Policeman A deserves that insane amount of investigating.

So as soon as I got this ask I asked some friends of mine if they had heard anything like this/If they knew about this?

One person responded with this screenshot (pictured below) from the official zombieland saga website awhile ago. We weren’t sure what kanji was next to the A, so I asked someone who speaks fluent Japanese and it just says Policeman unfortunately.

Then another friend of mine managed to find the line you had heard. (In episode 1 of revenge at 11:27) I had to ask someone who spoke fluent Japanese to watch with me (because I do not) and unfortunately it was a mishearing. I think the word you thought Yugiri said translated actually to “It’s been a long day” (I won’t type the word out because I worry I will mangle it. I don’t know romanji well enough for that unfortunately.)

Apparently in Japanese (according to the fluent person which I am going to paraphrase VERY badly because I do not speak it) you don’t really need to say someone’s name. It’s why Policeman A (That is definitely him by the way) Calls Yugiri “Onesan” which sometimes just means older woman instead of big sister. But she unfortunately did not call him by name. (Maybe she also does not know it)

So that sweet, sweet, elusive Policeman A name lore will have to remain a mystery.

I hope to continue coming up with stupider and stupider ways of never mentioning his name in fics. It’s what he deserves. Someone already suggested a GOLDEN reason for never mentioning his name and I am going to store it in my big long idea document because it’s insanely funny. Perhaps I will write it someday. Perhaps I won’t.

I am really really glad you like my fics though! The idea of ​​Maimai already knowing they were childhood friends comes from @yanderebeat beautiful artwork. A lot of their artwork really inspires me so I had to write it up.

Thank you again for the ask! I hope tumblr doesn’t destroy this response too and I hope I did enough research for this topic. Policeman A lore is IMPORTANT.

[shouldiusemyname]

None of my summer course students came today, so I spent an hour understanding my thoughts about BBS and KP. It's not the best written thing I can produce, but I want to share...

After watching a few Thai bl shows, I'm trying to understand why I got so caught on KinnPorsche and Bad Buddy .

I think it's in the details.

Both shows have these pairs of extremely strong actors. They are SO in their characters when they act, it's actually beautiful to watch. They are not awckword with each other and both directors and actors aren't afraid to show real and jenuine affection. The love scenes and kissing scenes aren't just for the sake of showing two boys kissing or making out. They are a true expression of emotions. I will explain.

KinnPorsche

1. Non-verbal communication -

First, the bathroom scene which has been talked about from every possible angle... There is one tiny, blink and you miss it moment, when Porsche looks at Kinn, then down as if asking him "are we doing this?", and Kinn gives him a nod and goes straight for his pants. When I noticed that I was screaming inside! This is so realistic and feels so unscripted. They are just in it and playing off each other. They ARE Kinn and Porsche in that moment.

Second, the pool scene - again a tiny detail, when Porsche moves to the other side of the pool and reaches for Kinn. He holds him and guides him, signalling to him with touch and eye contact. This feels so natural and I am crazy for it.

I'm sure there are more moments like these, but this what comes to mind rn.

2. Porsche's hugs - when he kisses Kinn before he leaves him in ep.6. It feels so desperate. Like he wants to absorb Kinn or be absorbed into Kinn.

Then there are the hugs when they finish after the bathroom scene and the pool scene. Again. ALL THE EMOTIONS.

Thinking about it, after watching Apo talk about the way he sees KP's relationship and his views about relationships and sex in general, it all falls into place. During the Drama Talk panel he said that relationships (I'm paraphrasing here, so go with me) are about being and doing for the person you love. Porsche doesn't care about the act itself and the sex is not about having sex, it's about being what your partner needs. In another video they talk about the bathroom scene and he says that they call it "helping each other", which is such a nice way to think about it. It's all about loving your partner and having someone with you who loves you back.

Bad Buddy

1. The bedroom scene after the rugby match - this feels so real to me. They are so comfortable with each other. I'm still trying to figure this one out. It's all in the details again. The way that Pran's hand just lays on Pat's hip when Pat pinns him to the bed. Pran tells him to go away, but he doesn't really want him to go away. He just gives him this little loving kiss while placing his other hand on Pat's back. This is so realistic. It doesn't feel like I'm watching an engeneered show about teenagers awkwardly playing games. This is tiny moments of real life and it's fucking beautiful!

2. Discussions about sex - Pat and Pran do not have sex until they are on their "honeymoon". I think it's meant to neutralize the top/bottom discussion, which Aof actively chose to leave out of the show. They take their time.

Korn is obsessed with knowing wheather they've had sex and they are very confident telling him "not yet" and actually saying "it's non of your business". When they do get to it, they are sure. They love each other and they are each other's safe space. Which is beautiful.

This is setting up the healthy and beautiful sexual part of their relationship, which we get to witness in the final episode.

After all this, I think the main reason I am in love with these shows is the fact that they take the "queer sex" out of of the equation. It's not to say that there is non of it, but it's different. They are treating it as a relationship between two people who love each other, actually saying that being LGBTQ+ is not about what kind of sex you have. It is however, about love.

Thank you for reading what goes on inside my brain. I hope you get what I'm trying to say.

[eyrieofsynapses]

Redemption Panel Highlights and Reactions

GATORS

i.e., Beth Riesgraf and Christian Kane (mostly Beth) talking about filming the scenes in (what I presume is) The Rollin’ on the River Job, where they’re pulling some stuff out of the water, and finding out the next day that there was an absolutely massive alligator pulled out of the same place just a little while after they filmed it

Beth’s impression of the wildlife folks warning them about the alligators

Beth scaring the hell out of Noah Wyle by yelling “GATOR” at him just after he finished his scene

seriously that was an absolutely WILD part of the panel

Everyone showering Aleyse Shannon with literally all the love!

Aldis Hodge in particular big-brothering her, and also the older actors calling her out for not giving herself enough credit, and Dean Devlin talking about how she blew him away at the auditions with her ability to turn on a dime

Seeing Kane with his glasses off wiping at his eyes, momentarily thinking “you okay dude?” and then realizing that he was laughing so hard he had tears in his eyes

(same)

The The Bucket Job clip! I’ve been a bit meh on a lot of Redemption, just in how it didn’t feel quite right, but that is possibly the absolute closest I’ve seen it get to the original in the best way. Brilliant

Which comes as no surprise since BETH RIESGRAF directed the episode!!! And apparently put an insane amount of effort in!

Beth’s utter delight and joy at both directing the episode and having the crew behind her

THE CHAIR

So apparently she and Christian went to town on the fight scene and he winds up tied up in a chair somewhere along the line and there’s a whole wild scene, which I am really looking forward to

Beth knowing how insanely particular he’d be about things like zip ties vs rope and what kind of rope e.t.c. e.t.c.

Apparently this is also tied into a VERY DEEP scene with Eliot? It sounds like they’re going to go super hard on his backstory, which is terrifyingly exciting

Just. Beth and Christian going very hard on that episode together

Speaking of: the panel’s going amazingly, I’m laughing so hard my stomach hurts, things are relatively light, and then, of fucking course—

Kane hitting us over the head about Eliot being a mass murderer who can’t be redeemed, is trying to stay static so that he can maintain the place he’s in, and is thus LIVING VICARIOUSLY THROUGH HARRY

What the FUCK. This is of course incredibly insightful and perfectly on point (because it’s Kane) but also, EXCUSE ME, OUCH, why would you DO THAT to us?

Everyone talking about having their families on set and their kids!

Beth’s son growing up on the original Leverage set and now going into being a director himself!

Gina’s daughter also growing up on set!

Noah Wyle’s daughter is playing Harry’s daughter I REPEAT NOAH WYLE’S ACTUAL DAUGHTER IS PLAYING AS HARRY’S DAUGHTER

Gina Bellman remaining relatively stoic throughout much of the panel (seriously, this woman, how the heck does she do it) and then losing it when they’re asked about running/inside jokes

A lot of them are, of course, apparently not appropriate to be spoken on-panel

(A lot of the others are the little inside ones that are special enough not to be ones they want to share, which is sweet!)

Everyone collectively losing it over having LeVar Burton on for The Bucket Job

Devlin and everyone laughing about collecting the various Star Trek people on Leverage

Beth talking about Burton coming over while she’s getting ready and asking her if she’s living on coffee and water, her laughing because he was absolutely right, and then him gently reminding her to remember to eat, which is the sweetest thing in the world oh my gods

Kane apparently choreographing an intense scene with Burton and being scared out of his mind, because Burton really wanted to go for it, but to Kane it was like he’s a figurine that’s not to be messed with because he was so worried about hurting him

Kane choreographing a massive amount of the show, which I knew already, but seriously, this guy blows me away

Gina and the crew talking about how he’d be away for a day of shooting a fight and all of them would be missing him and thinking about him

Family Vibes

Everyone talking about how they’re very noisy and loud together on set and it’s a bit like walking into a group of people having Christmas dinner (or something to that effect) because they’re just Like That together

Aleyse being the most surprised by Beth when she met her because she was like a little angel of light during the auditions but turned out to be an absolute ball of wild energy on set

Gina going “wait you were a MODEL” at Beth

Aldis talking about how much he loved how Parker and Hardison’s relationship had developed and grown!

Also, Aldis apologizing when the New York (iirc) background noise got loud and everyone going “no no we get you”

His outfit is ON POINT today

Gina saying that Christian is the goofiest and wildest out of them in terms of humor

(she goes “some of you may not know this,” which, fair, but also, if you’ve seen more than ten minutes of this guy outside of character you know he’s an absolute ball of sunshine)

Gina, Beth, and Christian talking about how they’d challenge each other to stay off sweets back on the original set, because they knew they needed to stay in shape and also just because they’re competitive (apparently all of them are major sweet tooths) and hide brownies and things from each other, while Aldis is just. doing pushups. eating all the healthy stuff. and then wanders into the room with a literal cupful of chocolates

(and Aldis going “well yeah I have to work off the sweets SOMEHOW”)

Beth explaining that sometimes they’d order a “Kane burrito” from Christian and he’d alter it slightly

Like, you know, chopping up hot jalapenos super fine and mixing them in, and Beth practically not being able to talk after the first bite

Apparently Aldis still went back a lot even after that

(Christian just seems very pleased with himself over it)

(THESE PEOPLE)

Gina goes “hey we should have an episode where we all swap roles,” Devlin going “WAIT FOR SEASON ONE TO BE DONE,” and then somebody (maybe the moderator?? I don’t remember exactly) going “uh actually. We did that”

Cue immediate scramble of “WAIT WHICH JOB WAS THAT”

(paraphrasing) “Yeah you remember the bit where you put on Parker’s harness and went off a building?”

Turns out half the cast had actually forgotten that that existed and only remember when reminded

The original cast all think of the episodes as “jobs”!!!!

Everyone talking over each other, Devlin going “it was with Sterling when we blew up the offices,” deciding that it was the season one finale, and then trying to figure out what episode title it was (eventually they figure out it’s the David jobs)

Moderator and Devlin accurately commenting that the fans know the show much better than they do

Noah Wyle very correctly explaining how Electric Entertainment is like a family and Devlin just. Keeps people

Aleyse and Aldis talking about typing when they’re hacking and going “WHAT THE HECK DO WE TYPE”

Aldis goes “yeah I just type all the bad words that we’re not allowed to say”

Aleyse saying that she’s always a little worried they’re hiding a Word document behind the blue screen and they’re going to pull up what she’s typing at the end of the day and print it out and put it in her trailer going “what the HECK is this”

Noah talking about filming The Golf Job and just getting to direct Jason Marsters and Christian together

Apparently their dynamic in that episode accurately mirrors the one with their characters in Angel!

Which promptly goes straight to the comment that it was very hard to make Marsters look like a golfer (pfft)

(Also apparently Christian plays golf for fun with his friends? Not necessarily something I would’ve thought of!)

Aleyse happily talking about how she loved the dynamic on set and it was very different from what she was used to

Also Aleyse talking about doing stunts and everyone else praising her for going whole hog

Beth especially praising her for the bit where she’s hit with the paralysis injection (I don’t remember which ep it’s from) and her acting for it, because it was incredibly hard to drop off screen in the particular way she did

Aleyse promptly answers that she was terrified with some of those, especially one where she had to keep a clock from falling and breaking

Everyone discussing how they see a new aspect of Breanna’s character in The Train Job

Also, to get serious for a moment, Kate Rorick in particular talks about how Breanna’s part of Gen Z and how we didn’t get the “days of yore” where everything was chill. We’ve basically been living in a world of hostility the whole time. It’s something I deeply appreciate, as someone who’s part of that group, and I love how they emphasize that for us.

This panel was pure chaos and I loved every moment of it! My stomach was actually hurting from laughing so hard, I swear. They had me cackling well over half the time. I would happily take panels double or triple the length of this, this was amazing. I also adore how the second you drop these six people in a room together, they immediately take off and literally just run and give you everything you wanted and more. (It is also evidently very hard to get them to STOP talking.)

I’m also just going to stop and take a second to fawn over the effects for the 3D room. It’s gorgeous—I love how they replicated the headquarters, especially with the stained glass ceilings! Super impressive, especially with all the photos, and I just love the whole thing. Kudos to whoever put that together.

Anyway, I’m definitely missing some stuff too; seriously, there wasn’t a second wasted in this thing, they were cracking some kind of joke or dropping some really interesting piece of information practically every thirty seconds. (And I haven’t even gotten into the clips OR the bloopers. I miiiight do a separate reaction purely for those.) It’s still up right now if you missed it and you want to watch it! I’ll probably watch it again, honestly.

[sunlightnmoonshine]

Something I found hella amusing this ep is that contrary to popular belief, Soohyun doesn't change at all. She's still blind to reason and steadfast in her beliefs.

1. It was interesting that she immediately assumed Gaon was responsible because his hands were bloody but can't blame her given how compromising the situation looked but I'd like to think she'd have more faith in him? Than to jump to that conclusion especially because he hadn't actively done anything to make her concerned prior.

2. It was particularly noteworthy how she regardless dropped everything with a false belief in mind to cover things up for Gaon and its insane that she thinks she's doing him a particular favour when in reality he didn't do anything wrong except check a dead person's body. If anything a simple search would confirm it was suicide and the media could easily be dissuaded. It was the way she actively believed as she was wiping away the handprint that this was all Gaon's fault. That says something doesn't it?

3. The fact that she gets mad at Gaon for supposedly making her hide evidence? I can get why given that she's going against her generalised system of doing things but then what exactly is she mad about? It's not that she had to hide evidence. It's that she didn't expect him to be there. Because she's disappointed. She's disappointed in Gaon for being caught in a comprising situation. I am reminded quite greatly of her self righteousness and self serving nature.

4. I find it interesting that her immediate expression thereafter is, what did you go and learn from Kang Yohan (paraphrasing here), like oof its Yohans fault, Gaon's just a misguided puppy. Because like everyone else on this show, she'll protect what's her own over anyone else.

5. Wasn't going to make this point at first, but it actually irks me how she's always going after Yohan, on the vaguest of reasons. It's always stop it, you are at fault, everything is your fault. In her eyes what exactly is Yohan's fault? We as the audience have a lot more reasons to be judgemental of Yohan but she really doesn't? All she knows is that he's radical but he gets things done, so what's she going after him for? For supposedly changing Gaon? This very point is qualified by how right after she says "please, leave Gaon out of it".

I genuinely don't understand what she's so upset about except that she's hurt that Gaon hasn't been honest with her. But that's about it. She frankly has no reason to be so upset over what happened with Cha Kyung Hee in specific, she doesn't even need to be upset about the evidence erasing because Gaon didn't actually commit a crime and there's nothing for him to be implicated of really. She doesn't even know that Gaon was searching her body. There's only the fact that he didn't remain the same as she had envisioned.

[ramonahblog]

Since I’m invested in CBS Ghosts now, I’m rewatching the first two episodes cause my first watch was more “I don’t trust remakes but keep an open-mind”. And now I want to talk/compare the two Ghosts show. Spoilers for CBS Ghosts and BBC Ghosts under the cut. Also swearing. Also yes, I’m still calling Pat-Expy, Pat-Expy. There are way too many characters and I’m not keeping a seperate tab open to remember what name starting with P is actually his. 

Hating on Trevor’s tie cause that’s apparently my one stupid thing to hate on in this show. It’s a tie, it shouldn’t be this much of a bother to me. But it is. 

Spoilers for: CBS Ghosts Pilot (ep 1), Hello (Ep 2) and D&D (Ep 8). Edit: Fixed episode number. 

 I think the CBS Ghosts did a better job showing why the ghosts wouldn’t want a hotel. Especially since the BBC Ghosts do seem to enjoy visitors with the obligately complaining. But since getting walked through in CBS ghosts is shown as incredibly painful, okay. Yeah, makes sense why they would not want a hotel. 

Also I’m pretty sure I had Trevor for 5 minutes and went “he’s my fave”. Thor had me at “LandShip” because cars need to be called that now. 

Low-to-moderate-key judging myself for not being won over by Alberta when she went (paraphrasing) “we can’t kill them - no, I mean we physically can’t.” I’m going to go ahead and assume I was still stuck on Greaser Guy being the headless one. Cause I really did not expect Greaser Guy (Greaser is 50s era, right?) to be the headless one.  

I want more Greaser Guy.  Less Hippie-Chick. Possible less Pat-Expy but I know he gets more distinct later on sooo IDK. 

Actually, screw it. Less Pat-Expy because I’m still mad that the show couldn’t even bother changing Carol’s name. 

Pretty sure the reason I can’t place Trevor in the “CBS Ghost haunting list tier” is because of his stupid tie.

Also link to the tier list I’m trying to use

but for CBS Ghosts instead of BBC Ghosts. 

You know what? Second watch, I’m not even mad that American Shows apparently can’t trust their audience because Thor died by lightning strike. I love that. 

Trevor jumps around a lot for someone who is stuck in a slightly-too-short shirt and no pants&underwear. 

Okay, definitely high-key judging myself for not loving Alberta in this episode. 

Pssh, I just remembered Isaac is all judgey about the Cholera-Ghosts which is kinda very pot-kettle of him considering he died of Dysentery which pretty much has the same symptoms. Also I now choose to believe he ordered someone to get him dressed in his outfit if he was going to die because you know Isaac would refuse to die in a hideous outfit. 

Oh. Right. Trevor calls himself T-money, of course he jumps around a lot.

Loving Hetty & Isaac here. Then I remembered Isaac accidentally murdered his crush and now I remember Nigel didn’t realise it was an accident until the end of D&D. Which, considering Nigel has a crush on Isaac, he probably had a bit of a crisis there. Because I feel like you would question your taste in people if you found out your crush murdered you and thought it was murder and not manslaughter. 

End Pilot - There is a censor-vase like right there to the side. Did they really have to go with Sims 4 pixelation when Trevor raised his arms? 

Also Hippie-Chick and Thor didn’t look away. Just putting that out there. 

Hello Episode - 

So does anyone know if Trevor being physically-affectionate already in his character or was that something the actor did? I don’t know how these things work. I just want to appreciate whoever made the decision to make Trevor be physically-affectionate. 

Also Sasappis is in this episode more. Wish they cut out Hippie-Chick and bought back Greaser Guy. 

“It’s an invention for looking up stock prices and porn” - Trevor. The Internet is for Porn. It’s the avenue q song, not actual porn, I swear.  

Damn, I really hate Trevor’s tie. I am sorry. This a thing. I’m fixated on it now and I don’t want to be. But it is what it is. 

Love Sassapis. Also apparently no one knows how to spell his name cause the subtitles are all over the place. Is it Sassapis or Sasappis? No one knows. 

Also, I am now headcanoning that  Trevor was actually a fast typewriter when he was alive. Because I can and want too. Imagine having to type with one finger for all eternity when you are used to whatever using all your fingers is called. Edit: It’s touch-typing. It’s called touch-typing.  

“He haunts me and I’m a damn ghost” - Isaac. Also is it Isaac or Issac? IDFK. 

Trevor is a bro. 

“My god the pageantry” - Isaac. He really being a kettle-pot huh?

Hahaha Jay has the most realistic reaction when he passes by Isaac and Trevor. Just a shake of a head and walking away. 

[primonizuto]

omg does this mean primo finally "grew up" when he essentially adopted Francesco?

I THINK SO YEAH!! the thing i find interesting about trust and what trust has to say about fathers is that for the most part, fathers and father figures in the show are all concerned with succession, with what their sons (or nephews, in salvatore’s case) can provide for them, or with the idea that their sons are somehow in the way of something they want, and it makes the fathers seem often extremely immature. like, big paul is no good as a father to little paul because he’s so self-obsessed and self-destructive, but he’s like that because he was ignored and mistreated by his own father, and all he wants is to be seen as an equal, right? so when old paul overlooks him and names little paul the heir in ep 1, big paul acts out, he basically throws a tantrum, and it looks TERRIBLE. he acts like such a child for so much of the show and it’s often what drives the plot – he refuses to put his own son ahead of him, and turns down the loan from his father (also a spiteful and immature thing to have offered, ngl) thus leaving him in the hands of kidnappers who have proven themselves capable of murder.

so i really love that leonardo line because he doesn’t actually say “a boy becomes a man when he becomes a father”, he says “a boy becomes a man when he has a child to look after.” i’d even go one step further and say that according to trust, a boy becomes a man not when he has a child to look after but when he accepts the responsibility of being a father. the simple fact of providing for a child isn’t enough, you have to do it while accepting that what you want now includes what they need, and what they need might sometimes come ahead of what you want.

old paul never became a man, not really, because he didn’t want sons: he wanted heirs, he wanted inheritors, and that’s how he treated his children. big paul never became a man because he resented his son, kept him at arm’s length, and then treated him like a disposable object when his existence threatened to interrupt his hedonistic lifestyle or get in the way of his plans. when primo puts his arm around francesco in the last episode and tells him, paraphrasing, “stick with me and you’ll be where i am one day,” he’s saying “you are my responsibility, i am accepting the responsibility of you, and one day you will have what i have.” the getty fathers hoard everything they have, they treat their wealth and inheritance like chess pieces, but primo makes a promise to francesco that what he’s building will be his one day. earlier in the series primo is screaming at an empty gas station “just give me this!” and then at the end of the series he’s saying “what i have will be yours, because i want it to be.”

[soundsaboutrighttumblr]

Meta 2 for episode 5 of WBL: Fighting Mr. 2nd

What an amazing episode of power games and softness where softness is due.

Already typed meta about Pei Shou Yi and Yu Zhen Xuan here, so I’ll start with a short nod to Zhe Yu and his sweet soft faces to Bing Wei in this ep, which happen at the sidelines and the edge of the screen, but I am loving it, softness where softness is due.

Also the smug smirk after providing Shi De with the explicit paraphrasing for the sentiment expressed, I laughed, loudly.

I love how the scene that follows shows Shi De’s deductive skills and intelligence, as I feel this episode is really out to remind us, what competent players in that game they all are, CEO Shi De, but also Shu Yi, providing the strategic asset later, when ordering to distract the other directors by causing trouble in their own firms.

They really are top players, both, in their fields, and to think of those forces combined? I am ready for them to conquer the world and face all opponents, all the while supporting each other and lifting the other up with their capabilities, when needed.

And calling each other out on their bullcrap, lol. “I’ll never say dumb things like What can’t defeat us makes us stronger.” “You just did.”

Yeah, it is done in a playful manner, but still, and I am loving it, because they can do that, and the whole office must be shipping them by now, right.

The scene goes on to show Shi De’s and Shu Yi’s capabilities in leading and motivating employees, again. We stan a power couple. Also, Shi De’s immediate jealousy when the female employees fawn over Shu Yi’s humble gesture? Yeah, gotta put that arm around him real quick to stake your claim. Nice.

(Also: WBL is master at playing with our expectations and leading our gaze, directing it to wo we might suspect with the crime, then twisting it on us, to teach a lesson. Be it with stolen projects or fathers, or misunderstandings about cheating and other stuff. Or perceived dynamics about roles in relationships. They hold all the cards telling the story, they love the subversion of expectations, and they do it masterfully, providing lessons about how everything is maybe not as it seems, and so much more layered when it comes to humans. They take us along on the ride of realizing that over and over again, along with the characters.)

Yeah, so our capable leaders are also on a mole hunt. While rebuilding alpha by a deadline. More demonstrations of intelligence and leadership, and capability, and Shu Yi looks at his capable boyfriend, and I was reminded of what Mama Shi De said, way back then:

To be able to look at your partner with satisfaction…

And that’s just it, right? They are both so proud to be with each other, hold the other in such high esteems again, can look at them with satisfaction for having made the decision to be with them, for being that lucky, that privileged.

Then Bing Wei arrives with food. (I see you, grumpy, soft Zhe Yu.)

That powerful metaphor of taking care. And Shu Yi offers some to Shi De. And Shi De being in self sacrificing mode again, declines, puts Shu Yi’s needs first. But Shu Yi insists, doesn’t let him get out of it. The flirting in front of the salads, Shu Yi offering to feed Shi De?

It is as much playful flirting, not caring who looks on, as it is a demonstration of their growths, Shu Yi insisting and reminding Shi De, that both their needs and well being are important, and that they need to eat together. For me, it is also a play with roles again, who is the caretaker, who the care receiver, the feeder, the one being fed, it is a playful way to show how they share that responsibility now, how they work to be equal on this, and how they can take on each role for the other when it is needed.

Watch me totally take this and take it into the bedroom for them, and how they are with each other in bed. And I don’t mean a feeding kink, I mean versatility and flexibility with needs and roles, that need to work FOR you, not limit you.

Anyways.

Shu Yi what’s with that smile, and the pose on that recliner, huh? After giving big boss orders to distract those scheming directors away from your case and your husband’s, so helpful, so… what’s with that head tilt? Does it mean, Husband, get rid of Bing Wei and Zhe Yu and appreciate my pose on this recliner, or is that just me projecting, lol? Didn’t know how to interpret that head tilt otherwise.

Okay, to the scene with Shu Yi coming back from the dinner. Shi De already preparing to face Dad again, with the contents of that brown envelope we will learn about. In comes a tired slouching Shu Yi with snacks, because he didn’t want to eat with his family being political tricksters and everything a game of power to them in the arena of their company. He wants to eat midnight snacks with Shi De, instead of a banquet with false friends and scheming relatives. Relatable.

Yes Shi De, he knows already, the point of a meal is not the food but the person you are eating with. He’s here, alright. Also, you can’t tell me Shi De doesn’t love the way the recliner rocks Shu Yi’s entire being, once he sits down close, lol.

And then begins the conversation between the lines:

Shu Yi is saying he will have to keep playing that two faced game for a while.

Shi De counters he will support him, from the privacy of their own dinners, taking care of him. He leans close to provide comfort, and you can tell Shu Yi is already soaking it up, but still has something on his chest.

The statement that he wants to be chairman in this scene to me implies that he is saying: Maybe we can’t be as open as we want for a while yet, because it will make things more difficult.

Shi De counters he knew, showing that he is aware and that it has influenced his past actions, too, to make things less difficult or Shu Yi, to support him the best way.

In a way he really only became Number one, to be the best support for Shu Yi, how tragic comical how it led to make things harder for Shu I anyway, but that’s the thing with Shi De’s decisions, Dad’s also, they come from the best intentions, but Shu Yi sits in their boat, being affected as well, being rocked with his entire being an the boat.

Shi De says he will be Shu Yi’s support, Shu Yi has the best support in him.

And Shu Yi says he doesn’t want Shi De to give up his own needs to put his career second to Shu Yi’s much like with the food, he doesn’t want to be first, just equal.

But Shi De reminds him it’s about choice. And that is something that Shu Yi requested from Shi De before, so of course he will accept choice.

The following is again a display on that thing they do, the flirting, the pushing and pulling, that plays with boundaries, so sweet on the surface so deep a conversation, so strong the effects they have on each other.

‘Do you have to stand so close, someone might see. - But you came close. - Oh did I? Those are some top notch players at their games. Shu Yi is a master of seduction, and no one can convince me otherwise.

And that leaning onto each other, how Shu Yi totally gives himself up in that embrace? The comfort that scene oozes, Shu Yi might just have gone to sleep right there in his arms, if that went on for a second longer, that safe is how he feels in Shi De’s arms and love. To be held like that, and to accept it the way Shu Yi accepts it. I’ma cry. This is how you do love, isn’t it? Being that for each other, when they need it. Letting the other be that for you, when you need it.

Let me just stop this meta here, because the scene with Shi De and Dad will need its own meta.

But like I concluded in my first meta about Pei Shou Yi and Yu Zhen Xuan:

I love how this episode again plays with themes of power, with roles of caretaker and caregiver, with terms of strong and weak and its subversions and the need for such subversions and flexibilities in human relationships, boundaries and transgressions and how everyone is affected, the physical and the mental/emotional needs and acts and how they blur lines, expectations and how they lead and direct our gaze, and how we will be fools for that most times, and how that’s just human. How the decision who we’d like to be with is ours, defining our identity, whether or not you get to be with that person.

[cyclogenesis]

director's commentary for 'got a feeling that i'm going under' - especially the relationship bucky has with sam's family, and the scene with sam getting hurt.

Oh man, Got a feeling that I'm going under, the fic into which I put every single emotion I ever had. The idea came from the most fantastically random source - many years ago while chatficcing porn with a friend we were writing a 5SOS Harry Potter AU (yes, I deeply miss having someone to chatfic out my worst id garbage with) and I wrote a bit where I used the phrase "like being split open in reverse" about magical wound-healing. The image always stuck with me, and one evening I was thinking about Bucky Barnes, and what his whole fucking deal is, and the idea for the first scene popped into my head. The accelerated healing factor of super soldiers is so interesting to me, and we've seen so little about it - but like with any injury, it helps a hell of a lot if you set the bone/close the wound/etc. first.

I'm always interested in how Bucky went from sniper twink to the guy pitching himself off a motorcycle headfirst at another super soldier; that dude has gotten reckless as hell with his body! So he for sure gets hurt a lot, and I doubt that he was tended to with much care when he was the Winter Soldier, so I imagine he's gotten used to seeing to his own injuries while in the field, probably to the point of feeling awkward about someone else checking on him now. Thus: Local Man, 106, Really Trying to Go to Bed Still Bleeding, Realizes Horrified Partner.

I started writing it sometime after episode 3 or 4 (taking it on faith that the show was gonna have a HEA), initially because the other thing I was working on was taking too long to get to the porn, so I thought I'd write a one scene 4k or so little thing where Sam tends to Bucky's wounds, and they're tucked close in a motel bathroom and, you know, then they fuck, good for them. But then I was really enjoying the tension of that scene, and then I thought about artistically carved magical wounds, and things escalated.

Honestly, my usual approach to any fic is "write enough story to earn the sex scene", so that's sort of what I was doing, but in the way where I kept complaining to my friends that I was trying to get to the porn, but I just kept writing all these feelings. (I think at this point, with this pairing at least, I have to admit that I also always want to write enough story to make it clear that even if they don't say so in the fic, they are absolutely in love with each other.)

I was really struggling with how to finish out the first kiss scene, because I really wanted to get to the porn, but it was just kind of a logistical pickle. It took awhile to occur to me that I didn't have to write about the first time they have sex, which was mind-blowing as that's almost always what I write. Once I realized that, I also realized that (at this point, after the high of the show's ending) I desperately wanted to write a little established relationship for them.

So a kitchen injury to continue the theme was kind of a gimme, and having Bucky cooking dinner at Sam and Sarah's felt like it went right along with how clearly Bucky is part of their family now per ep 6, and would thus be comfortable enough there after awhile to cook in their kitchen (though he still wants to do a good job!). Plus the kids clearly adore him, and I think AJ's still at the age where he'd openly be more dazzled by Bucky and thus eager to help him do whatever. Indulge me in breaking down the following bit, because it's one of my favorite parts:

“I’m fine,” Bucky says again, looking at the stove as if it might betray him and his carefully constructed soup if he gets out of its sightline. “It just needs to simmer for five more minutes.” (Still trying to refuse help, but he'll get there, bless him! Also though he's put a lot of effort into becoming a good cook, he still doesn't entirely trust recipes and gets a little nervous when four other people are depending on him to be fed.)

Sarah, having already assessed the scene and identified what needs to be done, retrieves a wooden spoon from the drawer and pokes Bucky with it. “I got it, go.” (I love the mental image of the wooden spoon poke. Like first of all yes, jab the man, but also it shows quickly that in Sarah's mind at this point Bucky is basically her brother-in-law. 😭!!)

“The salad is looking good,” AJ reports to everyone. (Children are small insane people that still require attention and validation even when someone else is literally bleeding! Love that for them, sincerely.)

“It’s gonna be a great salad, buddy!” Bucky says to him over his shoulder as Sam directs him to the first floor bathroom. (But like, Bucky is so good with kids. He's happy to validate AJ and appreciates his help! He wants to help AJ grow up to be a good man and men these days have to know how to cook! 🥺)

Bucky is out here and he's ready to be a Barnes-Wilson (or a Wilson-Barnes. Or a Wilson. He's flexible)!!

And now the last scene, man, the last scene. Like the rest of this fic, it was absolutely not planned ahead of time in any reasonable way. Let me be super honest here: I ran across a Tumblr post that was basically like "fics where Sam takes care of Bucky are stupid garbage and so are the people who write them" (loosely paraphrased) and I was like OH FUCK this fic is thematically wrong and I Am The Problem, and after brooding about that for probably longer than I should have I realized, relatedly and fortunately, that the only way it made sense to end this fic was to flip the theme on its head and have Sam get injured and Bucky have to look after him. And how Bucky would freak out and become immediately invested in doing everything he can to make sure he can take care of Sam in every way forever. From there I sat down and wrote out the last scene pretty quickly!

I always get the most nervous about endings, so I'm really glad people enjoyed this one. I was pretty in my feelings after posting this fic, considering that I hadn't written a story since 2018, it was my first one for this pairing, it's a real stylistic switch from my past uh few decades of work, I hadn't written for a media fandom with a ton of canon in one thousand years, the central theme was magical wound-healing (?!), etc. The response to it was an extremely pleasant surprise and something I'm still grappling with as I've continued to write in this fandom. I hope someday I can write something else that connects with people the way this one did!