#i am shaking him like maracas

[hekissesme]

Nothing could've prepared me for the man Jeremy is, okay? NOTHING, with his fucking yoyo and his cardboard dog and beginner to ceramics class. Okay. No warning would've worked

[natasha-in-space]

So I've been reading through some chats and-

WHAT

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN ZEN

TELL ME WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT

[jupitersmoonsstuff]

He makes me so insane istg I love him so god damn much

He's so fucking pretty just UGH-

[kishimotomasashi]

ATTENTION EVERYONE!!! I have acquired

Him.

[downtherabbitholewithlucy]

Sam is soooo 💙😇BABY BOY😇💙

[happi-tree]

i request one about your hermie boy! i feel after last week that you have many thoughts on him!! and i wish to hear them!!!

Lemon my lovebird!!! Hi 💛💛💛 *Vibrates at the speed of light* I have SO MANY GODDAMN THOUGHTS ABOUT THIS BOY. THING.

HERMAN UNWORTHY. If that is his real name. Voted most gender of all time and also WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS GUY DOING. I stg if he peaces out of the podcast I'm going to scruff him like a sopping wet cat. While crying. I love him I hate him I miss him I am very conflicted about him I support his crimes but also I'm putting him on trial for emotional damage. He doesn't make any goddamn sense and tbf that's kind of iconic of him! I'm honestly just very obsessed with his incomprehensible... everything. He's a theater kid who method acts so hard that he loses himself in the process and he is APPARENTLY so committed to the scam that he got half of his body permanently disfigured??? He was just some Silly Anagram Generator-Ass Guy (who's also a girl. who's also a calzone. who's also every Batman villain in existence) who accidentally stumbled into realizing that he has never been human actually and also that these four disaster teens are the only people keeping the world from ending permanently??? But also maybe he's known everything all along??? We just! Don't! Know!!! I NEED to put this pathetic fruit under a microscope and study him like a bug what is his Deal. Every day he induces mental crises. But he's just so silly and so gender so I still love him 💚💚💚

[deadlydevotion]

That feel when my muse is stuck in my head banging his against a wall because his Plant is a big, stupid, pretty rock and the other one is actively being made out with. How are they twins????? HELLO?????

[amphibiahawks321]

Hi, could i please request nobara x maki x reader where reader is gojo brother, and gojo being super offended cause he fucking heard reader getting pegged all night

Thanks in advance :D

M!Reader : W-W-WHAT T-T-THE H-HELL A-ARE Y-YOU D-D-DOING!!?

Gojo : Tell me shoko's rumours are false brother! My own flesh and blood! My brother from the same mother!–

[Shows Gojo aggressively repeatedly shaking Y/N's entire body]

M!Reader : W-WHAT ARE Y-YOU TALKING A-ABOUT!!

[Gojo stops shaking Y/N and stares deeply into his eyes]

Gojo : That your ass is getting submitted by my two students....

M!Reader : what kind of description is that!!? Also I thought you would be more surprised that I'm dating bo–

Gojo : You're dating both I know I don't care about that but please tell me those rumours are wrong....

M!Reader : Okay Okay! Jeez don't shake me like I'm a pair of maracas! Yes those are false rumours damn!

Gojo : Oh thank goodness–

[Nobara walks past them]

Nobara : last night was magical am I right. Y/N~? (heard what they were talking about and just wanted to mess with him and gojo)

M!Reader : Nobara what are you!– maki back me up!

[Shows maki leaning backwards against the wall using her legs]

Maki : .....

Maki : We made you see stars didn't we~? (Also wanted to mess with him and gojo)

M!Reader blushing : gojo there just joking don't you dare start shaking m-EE!?

[Gojo starts aggressively shaking him again]

[lurkinglurkerwholurks]

I am trying to write and I want to shake Bruce Wayne like a maraca until he does what I want him to do

[hestzhyen]

Kagurabachi Chapter 42 Nonsense Takes-

Holy shit. Dear internet void, I'm on the edge of my seat. This CHAPTER man! Several key moments from Ch. 20 are paying off here in a satisfying way.

This time, Hiyuki is the one who wavers when her convictions are contested:

Caught between duty, desire, and her own limitations... not a great feeling is it? She's in the same position now that Chihiro was facing off against her in Ch. 20. I feel like Chihiro's heroics will push her forward much like Hakuri's words did for him. Can't wait to see more of her after this arc and how she reconciles her noble beliefs with the selfish pragmatism of the Kamunabi. Not to mention how she'll manage her pride while reconsidering her rather dismal evaluation of Chihiro from earlier in the chapter.

Speaking of the Kamunabi, though... the older guys who have experienced the horrors of the Seitei war try to be realistic about the situation:

[Shaking Shiba like a maraca] WHAT'S YOUR BACKSTORY MR. OFFSCREEN SORCERER?

They very understandably want to cut their losses and reduce the risk of death for their younger allies. With terrifying artifacts like Magatsumi being necessary, the Seitei War really must have been hell on earth. Better to save what you can than risk losing everything on a bet and all that. I think this will be the meaty, scrumptious crux of the conflict between Chihiro and the Kamunabi whenever he ends up clashing with them in the open. All for the greater good vs. the greatest good for all, pragmatism vs. idealism- I am hype!

And yet the idealistic duo of Chihiro and Hakuri are going to stake their lives on making a miracle. Across the hall, without being able to speak to each other or hear what's being said over the chaos, they still understand what the other is thinking and wants to do. I love these two so much.

Hakuri recalling the conversation with Chihiro during the elevator ride in Ch. 20 when they first met. He knows his samurai's heart.

(Ch. 20 vs 42) Liar, liar, pants on fire. Fakest IDGAFer ever ready to risk his life to save a bunch of strangers, just like he said he wasn't interested in doing.

These. Guys! ARE! THE! BEST!

But there's certainly going to be a price paid for this- the toothpick bidding guy said as much. Chihiro can't win it all, no matter how strongly he feels about having his cake and eating it too. So what's going to get fucked up? Well, pick your poison(s) on how Chihiro's idealism will be tempered:

Chihiro and Hakuri fail to save all the hostages

Hakuri overexerts himself and is incapacitated/dies

The Rakuzaichi isn't ended for good

Magatsumi falls into the wrong hands

Chihiro/Hakuri is/are captured by an enemy

Failure to Save Innocents This scenario is somewhat likely, I think. We're doing Ch. 20 callbacks so may as well go all-in here. It's also been the biggest sticking point this chapter. "We (YOU) can't save everyone." Be pragmatic when weighing good actions vs. the cost of doing them. Understand your limits, work hard, and be ready to cut your losses. Be willing to accept that someone could die. Chihiro struggles with this for obvious reasons. He's a heroic badass, but also a traumatized kid. A human. He's got limits and he's got to acknowledge them at some point. Even if Ms. Inazuma is saved, he might not be able to tag all the captives before Hakuri has to pull him out. This would be absolutely devastating to him as a brutal but very needed wake-up call before he overestimates himself in a situation with higher stakes. And, man... if Chihiro has to come back to Mr. Inazuma and tell the poor kid that he couldn't save his sister... god, that would be awful for everyone. Idealism alone can't save lives, nor wishing for it, nor trying your best. Sometimes you can't save everyone and end up losing everything. I think this is a bit too downer but it's not completely out of the question.

Hakuri Fucking Dies One of the two outcomes here is almost definitely going to happen. I went on a few several thousand-word screeds about Hakuri's significance and how much I love this slightly insane little goober. There's plenty of good reasons to think he'll stay a permanent member of the cast, and if I'm being honest, I think it's a little early for Chihiro to lose an ally. We need a little more time to get attached and invested in the core crew he assembles before one of them is offed. And yet... While I think Shiba's "you'll both die!" line is just to amp up the tension, this...

I will kill everyone at the Rakuzaichi and then myself if anything happens to this kid.

... isn't looking good. At all. Knowing that Hakuri's basically had a full arc at this point means I can't just handwave away the chance he'll be the price Chihiro pays for his naive optimism. Because that's exactly why they're both doing this: Chihiro's expectations for himself are too high and unrealistic. And he's Hakuri's guiding light. Whatever Chihiro wants to accomplish, Hakuri will back him up with everything he has. He's pushing himself too far for Chihiro's sake and we'll all cry if that means he pays the ultimate price.

I think it's most likely that Hakuri will come out of this severely injured, though. Not dead, but close to it and unable to act for a while. It would teach the same lesson without breaking my heart so please, please let this be the variant chosen if Hakuri must be offered up. Protect his smile and give him the chance to learn that he deserves to be loved as he is.

The Rakuzaichi Yet Proceeds So this one would be interesting as hell IMO. There's a case for this due to the fact that, despite reappearing on the stage in the real world, neither Chihiro nor Hiyuki actually touch it. Only Kyoura does.

God I love the perspective shots

A big point was made in Ch. 33 about how inviolable this wooden platform is:

Lotta prestige tied to keeping people off a glorified wooden pallet, but hey what do I know. I'm not a human trafficker or abusive parent brainwashed into serving a merchant cult family.

So even when the whole thing seems poised to come crashing down, Kyoura alone remains worthy to stand on it. And if we don't see any non-Sazanami clan members step on it by the end of the arc, I think that's a signal that things aren't quite done with them yet. Or at the very least, their legacy will live on untarnished despite the head of the family falling in combat. They could become legends in the underworld for maintaining the sanctity of the Rakuzaichi until the very end. Not very wholesome for Team Goldfish, but hey, it's a comparatively small price to pay. I've got a lot of thoughts about what various scenarios would mean, but I'll wait until we actually see what happens before speculating too much. I will, however, do some Hakuri agendaposting while I'm here though!

I would find it incredibly tasty if Hakuri managed to stand on the stage at the very end somehow. Just for one last hearty "fuck you" to his sperm donor, you know? And to satisfy the part of my monkey brain that loves total vindication. The "worthless" kid who was instrumental in bringing down his family standing in the sacred zone he was supposed to protect, but was deemed unworthy of... that he rejects wholeheartedly while being the first since the progenitor to inherit both signature sorceries... yesssss. Especially considering this:

RIP Tenri, gone too soon

I go feral for stuff like this. Hakuri is the Special Boy. He deserves the moment, if he can figure out a way to get there before he collapses after helping Chihiro.

Magatsumi Goes MIA Once More I think this is the most likely price to be paid. Chihiro's heroics will cause him to miss out on recovering the Super Evil Sword, which could end up just about anywhere at this point. Recovered by the Kamunabi, the Hishaku clan swooping in to take it, the wielder using Kyoura's body to abscond with it to parts unknown... anything's possible! But probably not Team Goldfish escaping into the night with it. Saving people at the cost of missing his big chance to recover his father's "masterpiece" seems like an appropriate setback for Chihiro right now. It'll throw his plans into disarray and really force him to look at his priorities and strategies thus far. Team Goldfish are mighty but they can't take on two massive orgs like the Kamunabi and Sazanamis at once, especially if the Hishaku are meddling. He'll get his reality check and prepare to make hard choices in the future. Save everyone, every time, and chase the blades forever? Or entertain a slightly less idealistic mindset to better the chances of success? Very tantalizing potential here, yes yes. It also ties in nicely with the main talking point of this chapter- much better than losing an ally would, at any rate.

Capturiffic Times I think this is the least likely given the circumstances, but may as well mention it just in case. Both Chihiro and Hakuri are worn down to their last dregs and aren't in a position to fend off anyone that could come at them. Maybe Hiyuki decides to capture Chihiro to take him to the Kamunabi instead of killing him, while Shiba retreats with Hakuri? Or Hakuri is captured by the Kamunabi/remaining Sazanamis while Shiba prioritizes escaping with Chihiro? Shiba gives himself up to let Chihiro and Hakuri run? Again, seriously doubt this scenario. They might not get out in one piece or with everything they hoped for, but I'm pretty sure that Team Goldfish will be able to flee to fight another day.

Anyway. Yapped too much again. Thank you void for letting me ramble into your uncaring ear once more. See you next week, probably.

[itti-bitti-yibbi]

'Scuse me imma just put drop these here-

I have. SO MANY doodles of these guys, these are just the traditional ones lol. Most of my doodles are digital, I'll get around to grabbing and posting them eventually.

Allow me to chatter under the cut (SPOILERS), if you please

That first one I actually did while a guest was on hold with a third party at work (we were waiting for them to call me to fix an issue). We waited on them for literally an hour!

I am on season 3 now, and having a Time. That is for sure. Jon is being. Not that smart. Bless his heart. Of course Jude was gonna burn you if you shook her hand. You already knew that but you did it anyway!

I need to shake him. Like a maraca. Mabe that'll knock some sense back into him. ALSO. Assistants recording statements!! I like! That!

I think it's cool to hear how differently they get into it, like Tim couldn't get into it enough to get through one, which at this point doesn't honestly surprise me, he is not having any of this rn.

When Martin reads them, he gets very into it! Emulating them emotion in the statement kinda like when Jon gets into it, (I think that Martin's readings are the most similar to Jon's so far). And his little "sorry for the change in tone bit", I just. He's so Much. To me.

Melanie gets hit hard by the statement when she reads it. You can hear how shaken up she is by it while she's reading, he voice kinda trembles. I really do feel bad for her, she didn't really know what she was getting herself into, and now she's trapped. The others tried to warn her.

AND. THE FUCKING. AUGH. COLLATERAL. ELIAS YOU FUCKER. POOR BASHIRA. Daisy and Bashira are something. I like them.

And. The way that Tim got sick trying to leave. Grabgrabgrabgrabgrab. Guess Jon would have gotten ill if he hadn't read the statments that were sent to him? That and his other investigations.

AND. GEORGIE AND THE ADMIRAL. I LOVE THEM. I like Georgie a lot, she seems cool to me. And of course I adore a good Kitty. Admiral beloved.

The calliope is spookin me, but also I am excited for Jon to get into more situations lmao. This man is the most unfortunate fellow you could meet.

I have been taking a tiny break and it's late, so my commentary is not that profound, lmao. I am enjoying it a good deal, though. And I have been irritating the shit out of my siblings recommending it to them.

[happyfoxx-art]

I'm dying to know, where exactly did they get the pain meds from? Because I'm picturing any of the following options:

April and Donnie nabbed some from the hospital after they got his MRI done

Donnie decided some recreational chemistry was just what the doctor ordered while recovering from multiple seizures and homebrewed his own (Mama O'Neil tells him it very much was not what the doctor ordered and grounds him for a month, a decision that is ratified (lol) by Splinter)

Casey and Splinter very sneakily and apologetically liberated some from a vet's office; Casey did most of the work while Splinter got into a hissing match with the cats staying there overnight

Donnie, being a big believer in efficiency and violence, texted Cassandra, who deployed her Brownies as scouts and then proceeded to quite literally shake down a series of drug dealers like maracas until narcotics fell out

i am literally wheezing at all of these options but im gonna have to go with number 4, bc its efficient, and the most likely to not get anyone killed or caught. My mom worked in a surgery center for a long time, so 1 wouldnt work- poor Momma O'Neil would've probably gotten fired! They keep those things locked up tight. I fear Donnie making homemade drugs at anytime, that just... oh dear xD and i have no idea if they use those types of pain meds on animals.

Gotta be honest i literally just:

So yeah. I think we can believe Cassandra and her lil brownie goblins shook down drug dealers. Idk if she did that before or after?? the invasion?? But yeah xD

[natasha-in-space]

WHAT DOES THAT EVEN SUPPOSED TO MEAN SAEYOUNG

[jomeimei421]

hi do you have any more fic recs?? ive read everything you already recommended in the last post and i am Terrible at finding fics myself-

why yes indeed i do <(:]) spoilers for all of ORV under the cut! Here is a link to my other fic rec post for those who haven't seen it yet.

Mei's ORV Fic Recs 2: Electric Boogaloo

Looking for Yoo Joonghyuk by Je_te_veux

GEN, written for YJH's birthday. A canon compliant exploration of YJH's search to find the answers to who he is and what he should live for. Takes place during the epilogue. Again, JTV is a Chinese author so you will need to read their fics with material translation, but their writing is remarkable! I'm especially fond of the way they wrote YJH and Anna Croft, and also, I have a soft spot for things where YJH (who has had to carry the enormous burden of the Story for so long) finally gets to do some reading and writing of his own.

Love & Affection Do (Not) a Cat Make by featherx

Sangsoo, with a side of Joongdok. The misadventures of HSY (cat) and YJH (cat???). I have a special spot in my heart for this fic because cat HSY is written so hysterically well it has permanently affected my own characterization of HSY. Funny, charming, cute, but as with all things orv, has a very sweet and sad undertone.

Great Escapes by wyrvel

JDJ. YJH attempts to confess. KDJ does not make things easy for him. The calling card of a great jdj confession fic is a tasteful amount of KDJ brand tomfoolery, just enough to make you want to grab him and shake him like maracas. This fic accomplishes that with flying colors. It's written from YJH's pov, but you can just feel the gears turning and steam puffing out of KDJ's head. Op understands babygirl YJH. As a warning, this is the first part of a three fic series, the other two are NSFW.

Only I know how this show will end! by ineedacatchyname

YHK. Our favorite toxic polycule, now on live tv! A truly tremendous Love Island AU fic. My absolute favorite thing about this fic is that every time a character is introduced, there's a cutaway to their Love Island Love Interest Self Introduction Sexy Beach Montage Reel written in the style of a TV film script and every last one of them had me crying real tears. YSA is also excellent in this fic.

World's End Rhapsody by wakerife

JDJ, with a side of Sangsoo. This was one of the first orv fics I read, before I started bookmarking them; there's a really sweet scene of YJH reading that I couldn't get out of my head so I went on a hunt to find this fic again by searching through every single ORV fic tagged with "post-canon." A collection of KDJ recovery snippets, punctuated by some heartfelt jdj.

At Sea by ksalientian

YHK. The dead return from the sea, including KDJ. He doesn't come back exactly how they remember. Eerie, melancholy, and permeated with slow, enormous loss. There are some horror like elements in this fic, but it's more psychological than something that might make you squeamish. Yoohan are going through it. Fantastic fic!

I don't want to fall asleep just yet by featherx

GEN. Pre-canon. There's a ghost that lives inside of HSY's house. A short character study on the loneliness of a writer.

A New Story Written by pyrrhura

YHK. KDJ worries in the middle of the night about being responsible for a new story, and about being a father. Or, three idiots and baby. I love fics where yhk get their blissfully mundane happy ending, but op doesn't confuse that with forgetting the traumas and hardships of the past. Love the banter in this fic, and the way they just lean on one another without even thinking. As a warning, there are discussions of unplanned pregnancy in this.

Ain't Nobody Solving That Declining Birth Rate by dulcetair

YHK. KDJ is fresh out of a coma (broke) and YJH is a former terrorist (also broke.) The post-scenario government issues a cash incentive for people to get married. Or, the gang commits marriage fraud! Features YJH wearing a apron that says grillmaster on it. I was already a firm believer in YHK getting married for """tax benefits""" because it makes things easier for KDJ who is too embarrassed to admit anything otherwise, but the idea of HSY using Avatars to game the system and buy a three story house just for funsies is also incredibly in character.

What the Living Do by younglegends

GEN. Snapshots of mourning, loving, and longing from various KCom members' points of view. The chronological events of this fic are backwards, which makes for an interesting read. Younglegends hasn't written a lot of ORV stuff yet, but the two fics that they have so far are both downright phenomenal, and some of the best work I've seen in this community. They are also the author of the fic that I refused to spoil in the previous orv fic rec. Also, their YSA characterization is perfect.

That's all for now! Enjoy!

[highfantasy-soul]

Moments I loved from NATLA Episode 4 - Into the Dark ❤️️❤️️

Aang and Iroh interacting more - love that they're not friendly to each other, per se, but it builds a foundation that makes their later respect make sense

The Earth Kingdom being harsh with their 'fallen foes' is nice to seed in here as in the animated version (season 1), most of the 'bad' stuff was relegated solely to the Fire Nation

The Earth Kingdom is no pushover and it's nice to see that early

Sokka defending his dad "My dad would have never done what you did" even after he commiserated with the Mechanist about his dad 'not valuing' what Sokka could bring to the table.

Though Sokka is frustrated that his dad doesn't see "him", he knows his dad is an honorable man doing his best and when Sai tries to use him as an example of 'doing the wrong thing just to survive', love that Sokka calls him on it

SECRET TUNNEEELLLL!!!

Like them introducing this now - all old buildings have secret passages - it's just a law

Teo's "its time to fight!" attitude - love it. He's so ready to stop cowering and wants to hit back

Flopsy statues!!!!!

Rolly ball throne? Nice touch

"Bumi? BUMI!!" :D

"You did 🤨" Love how Aang keeps his "I'm just gonna say the truth and I don't care if that's 'not allowed' I'm gonna do it anyways because your social rules are stupid" attitude

Katara's water pouch!!

Love the shake in Jet's voice as he tells Katara "I am nothing like the firebenders"

Katara's assessment is shallow on her part, but the core has a ring of truth - no, freedom fighters aren't the same as their oppressors, but when you start harming your own people to hurt the enemy, then you really have lost sight of what's right and wrong - why you're fighting.

FREEZE JET'S ASS!

I love Jet, especially this version of him, but yeah, no touchy

And Katara is absolutely right: Jet might have helped her through her block, but her power, that's all hers.

What are you going to do, Zuko?? What choice will you make!!??

Love that we're getting this choice of his here in Omashu

Bumi's puns 😭 kill me now - though very canon accurate

Like the vibe that everyone just has to laugh as to not anger him - there's less of a whimsical madness vibe to Bumi here and a more serious - yeah, this guy is our leader vibe that's quite unsettling

The tonal shift with Bumi did give me pause, but I like how the writers kept the jokes, the games, his eccentricities, but shifted the vibe to make them darker

In the cartoon, whimsy might work, but if you think about it realistically, that leadership style would NOT work during a war - a 100 year war, at that.

HIPPIIEESSSS!!!!

Sokka getting into that maraca - you let your little musical heart fly

"What are you doing here?" "We're doin' what we're doin'" :)

Oma and Shu lesbian supremacy!!!

Always get chills when this story is told

Lol Sokka's "There's no such thing as angry spirits." Right before the episode where they're kidnapped by an angry spirit XD

Love the switch up of the rocks not really being the path out - keeping us animated show fans on our toes as to what the lesson will be this time

Everything about the Earth Kingdom soldier's interaction with Iroh - all of it is just so good.

The cartoon glossed over Iroh's warmongering past - but he did do terrible things that hurt so many people. No, 'it was war, I was a soldier' is not an acceptable excuse (we didn’t accept it with Jet, so why the double standard for a ROYAL MILITARY GENERAL??)

The funeral scene

Leaves from the Vine

Zuko offering a soft and kind memory of Liu Ten instead of just talk about him being a soldier

Zuko sitting next to Iroh so he won't be alone!!!!!!!!!

The conversation between Katara and Sokka in the cave where she talks about how Jet helped her and Sokka how Sai helped him - then Katara reminding Sokka that when he was forced into a leadership position for the Southern Water Tribe, he didn't have anyone to help him through that

The concept of us all needing people to help us through our journeys is so important and really comes around at the end of the episode and just through the entire series

BADGERMOOOLLLEEE!!!!

Is it bad that all I could think about was how cute it was the entire time it was on screen?

Dallas Liu is so. Freaking. Good. At. His. Stunts!!!!

And the first mention of the theme Zuko struggles with of compassion being weakness!

Sokka's little 'thanks!' as Katara saves him from the badgermole XD

Seriously, all the little touches in Ian Ousley's performance are great

Idk why Sokka assumed the badgermole was a man, that's clearly a dignified lady

The power of sibling love guiding the badgermole was a great alteration from the OG - if they can be controlled through music, they can definitely respond to emotions

Bumi's whole speech here - and his willingness to get crushed - is what brought me around on this portrayal of him

He's right: it's a game where you have to make impossible choices - you have to fight even when you don't want to (a much more poignant message for Aang than 'look at things a different way')

The power of friendship saves the day!!!

"You CAN rely on your friends - and that's the only way I'm going to save the world: with my friends"

"You think like a child" (derogatory) "Is that really so bad?" (genuine)

Bumi made Appa's whistle!!! 😭😭😭😭

One last time Zuko chooses protecting his uncle over capturing the Avatar 🥲

"Everything I need is right here on this boat" 😭😭😭

[Masterlist of my NATLA thoughts]

[candyskiez]

oh would you look at that im thinking about ritsu again. who could’ve predicted this!

but yeah do you ever think about the kageyama brothers and trust. and how ritsu spent such a long time being afraid of mob that he forgot that shigeo was a Person instead of just an unstoppable terrifying Thing. and how neither shigeo nor ritsu Really trust anyone outside of a couple exceptions (i.e. each other, sorta, and also dimple for some reason, and shou for ritsu). how the resolution for them after the big cleanup/7th division arcs was not ritsu no longer being afraid but instead trusting that mob does not in fact hate or want to hurt ritsu, nor is he fragile enough for even extreme stress or provocation to change that? and then in the confession arc he finally trusts that shigeo is his brother and even just for a second they’re able to stand on level ground. explodes

SHAKES THIS BACK AND FORTH LIKE A MARACA. YES. ABSOLUTELY. I THINK ABOUT THIS ALL THE FUCKING TIME YOU DONT UNDERSTAND. AUGRHTHHF. SCREAMING. BANGING MY HEAD AGAINST THE WALL. ALL OF THIS. I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT TO PROPERLY ADD. This is so good. Oh my god. Okay. Okay.

He can look back on his memories and go. No, there wasn't suddenly something Evil in my brother that came out to hurt me. He's a person. He is a person who was terrified and fucked up under fear, like I did. My brother is not perfect. My brother fucked up in an extreme way. And I am terrified of him. But he is a person. And I am mad at him. But he is a person. He can look the most terrifying parts of his brother in the eye and say, you are a person. You a part of my brother too. And I know I don't like you, but I can trust you now. Because I know it was an accident. I know you didn't mean to. I can see that now.

And I. Augh. Okay. It's the fact Ritsu felt like he had to sit and take it for so long or he'd make everything worse but then he realizes, wait. I am just doing the same thing I've done for years. Where did that get us. No. My brother doesn't want to hurt me. He will just be fucked up from it again. It won't help him. It'll bring us back to the start. And I'm so tired of being in pain. I'm so tired of this. I want to be a person too. I want to trust him again. I want to be happy again. I want it all to matter. I want to get better. And he finally stops being one of the personas he's playing, hes honest with his brother and he has AGENCY and he! Agh!

And the fact that what brought it on was seeing all the good memories they had before and going. No. I am not going back to being that afraid. I am not going back to being spineless. And I know my brother doesn't want to hurt me. Even the parts of him I don't like don't want to hurt me. Even the parts I'm afraid of don't want to hurt me. I am not going to be helpless this time. I am going to fix this. DO YOU UNDERSTAND. DO YOU HEAR ME. HELLO.