#i am so happy to find this on tumblr as well

[ladyniniane]

Happy birthday to me!

I'm turning 28 today🍁🎉🎂! It's time to celebrate what I have accomplished so far.

Last year, I was in an uncertain situation because I had just decided to leave my job. For those who don't know, the whole ambiance had become pretty toxic (especially with my manager), the organization was a mess and there was no hope of getting a raise after three years there. It was taking a real toll on my well-being.

In retrospect, I'm glad I did it because I chose the best for myself. I saw that I deserved better.

Many things happened this year, some good, some bad, some chaotic. But I've accomplished quite a lot! I've decided to go freelance instead of waiting for someone to hire me. I want to decide how I work, with who and especially where (I'm thinking about living in Corsica in the future).

For that, I completed a whole training course and did things I have never done before...It made me confident in my abilities. I'm going to be completely honest: launching my own business is a little scary, especially as the D day comes closer and my anxiety is like "but what if? What if? What iiiiif?", but working on my project was nonetheless pretty satisfying.

I'm not worried about getting closer to 30. I'm still feeling pretty young (and I mean, I am). And I think like I'm finally figuring things out (because yeah, you generally don't have your life in order by 25). I wouldn't trade the life experience and the lessons I've learned for nothing else in the world. In fact, I'm quite curious about the person I will be when I will turn 30. I know social pressure is real for some people, but the sooner you get rid of those standards, the happier you will be.

Things I've learned this year:

-Enjoy the little nothings and find beauty in the mundane. This will make your life more magical.

-Try new things even if afraid. Time will pass anyway.

-It's okay to quit! In fact, it's even better with toxic situations. Distancing yourself from something that harms you is good actually.

-It's important to focus on your emotions. Bad emotions are here for a reason. It's important to focus on them and don't let anyone gaslight you into thinking you're the problem.

-You are enough. You don't have to feel ashamed of everything. You aren't too much, you aren't embarrassing.

-Touch grass as much as possible.

My cat turned 10 (she has seen so many important steps of my life) last month and she's happy and healthy.

Writing-wise, things are going fine. I finished my big fanfic and I've started a novel! And I now need the escapism it provides more than ever.

A big thank you to all of you, people of Tumblr! I'm glad I met you and you make things better☀️!

So, 28, let's see what you have in store for me !

[stnaf-vn]

I recently discovered your game and I just wanted to say I love it omg!! I’m also so happy it’s organised too like for some games it’s really hard to learn the lore for everything when you can’t find certain stuff.. Well that’s what happens when you’re a new player unfortunately. But really I’m very grateful so thank you so much for all your hard work and I’m really looking forward to seeing more from this game.🫶

Aw thanks! I am glad you like it! I've been working on the update and took a couple weeks for me to get settled in at home and catch up with my family. I also started a new job recently :D The beginning of this blog was very unorganized because I did not know how tumblr worked and didn't realize that adding tags wasn't like Twitter's algorithm. But yeah! Thank you for your kind words!

[stars-inthe-sky]

[knifebaby3000]

the wind has carried us too far, it's blown the moon down

[ghosts-and-blue-sweaters]

GRACIEEE HIIII HRUUU

HI FOXIE!!!

I was going to say “I’m good!!” but then I realized. that would not be exactly truthful ajsgajsgkagsjsg

As far as my actual Life goes, things have been pretty wonderful!! I got to see my irl friends recently—it’d been months since I’d last seen them 😭 it was SO NICE being able to actually talk to them in-person again!! One of them gave me a necklace that matches the one I gave him for his birthday several months ago and LET ME TELL YOU. MY HEART BURSTED. IT WAS SUCH A SWEET KIND CARING THING FOR HIM TO DO AND I’M STILL NOT OVER IT AAAAAAAAAAAAA

I’m also in the midst of Job Applications!! Which is fun but also mildly terrifying lol. Dear goodness I am so ready to Do something with my life I have been so dreadfully bored & dull these last few months. Unemployment’s reign of terror shall soon be at its end (hopefully) ✊💥💥

However, despite the Really good things, mentally I have not been feeling the best :( Especially this past week or so. My head’s been loud in all the bad ways, and it’s made life feel very overwhelming (even though I know logically that everything is alright).

Sighhh. So that’s been… life, I suppose! Good things happening around me, not-so-good things happening inside me 😅

[em-b-sides]

I think about that tiktok trend where you like paint your partners eye color on your nails or make a bracelet or something with the color a lot actually

[helianskies]

ugly maths.

i hate maths, right. i don't usually like numbers, and if i do like numbers it's gotta be an 8 or a 48 and nothing else.

thing is, i've recently caught myself doing maths again. ugly maths. the kind of maths that, really, i've been trying to avoid as much as possible because, well, it's ugly!

you... wanna see?

okay, fine... but don't say i didn't warn you!

ugly, see? look at all those numbers! not a 48 in sight!

huh? what's that? you don't see what i'm on about? oh... oh! hang on, lemme just—

better? yes? no? no? okay, what if i—

mmh, yes. ugly numbers. see it now? can you see why they're ugly?

here, i can make it worse.

these numbers are ugly. the maths they make me do is ugly.

now i'll level with you: the worst ones by far are the yellow numbers. the maths they make me do it the ugliest.

why ugly?

because it makes me ugly.

those numbers turn me into not only a suddenly number-obsessed fool, but a fool who also cannot understand these numbers and what they mean and why i feel like they reflect on me and my ability.

87, 75.

the thoughts are as follows:

• the orange numbers are big, so why are you being ugly about the yellow ones? you should be happy with what you have. so many nice big numbers! not everyone receives that.

• is it that there are two different audiences for these two different fics? perhaps. they are quite different works, with different appeals, and different themes. maybe you are reading too much into it.

• why are you obsessing over numbers anyway? you don't like maths! you left maths behind when you were 16, put it down!

okay, okay, fine! i'll put the maths down. right here, in fact!:

that 87 was an 83 at the start of the year. the 6161 it is attached to was a 5453.

4, 708.

ugly maths.

the 75 is a nice number. in fact, compared to 87, it is beautiful, radiant, enchanting. at the start of the year, 75 was 48. wow. now that is one sexy number!

27.

mmmm.

6161, 1061.

5100.

87, 75.

12.

mmmm.

you know, my most favourite comment left recently on a fic of mine was 2 characters long: :(

it made me :)

well, actually, it made me >:) because it was left in response, presumably, to one of the key scenes in a new chapter which left the exact impression on someone that i hoped it would.

they must be the only one who reacted like that, though.

1.

have i mentioned that that 87 and 75 include author responses?

i won't try to do more maths, there. it might not end well for me. the maths is making me tired enough as it is, and i have an early start tomorrow.

oh! but, that being said, i have another set of ugly numbers to show you, so keep 87 and 75 in mind.

ready?

838, 245.

(want a hint? the green numbers!)

838, 87. 245, 75.

9.6, 3.3.

ugly maths. it's ugly again, see? i don't like it. i'm seeing numbers within numbers within numbers, and i can't seem to stop!

the numbers make me ask new questions:

• why is it not good enough?

• people seem to engage more with one fic over the other, so shouldn't you prioritise?

• is all this maths this really good for you?

no, it isn't.

i want to avoid ugly maths. ugly maths makes me want to tear my hair out. it makes me want to start from scratch. it makes me want to grab someone and scream. it makes me want to cry and press a button that has tempted me many times before when the numbers become too ugly to bear.

ugly maths turn me into an ugly person.

ugly maths make me obsessive, paranoid, anxious, regretful, vindictive, spiteful, alone.

i hate maths. i hate numbers, just like, it feels, the numbers hate me.

[padfootastic]

what’s your favorite quote from one of your own fan fictions?

oh oh oh. hello there!! how did u know the way straight to my heart? 🙈

this is a tough question because i just. generally like everything i write lmao but lemme try and get some.

1. ‘harry james potter is my entire world, molly,’ he declared quietly but no less sincerely for it, ‘from the moment he was born, he had me wrapped around his finger.

2. harry smiled at that, a little sad and a lot bitter. it was easier being an orphan before he met sirius, he decided, when james and lily potter were just two individuals he’d placed on a pedestal. it was even easier before he came to hogwarts, when he thought that his parents, whose names he hadn’t even known , were irresponsible drunks without a care in the world. at least then he didn’t know what he was missing, what had been ripped away so brutally from him because of a madman with paranoia and delusions of grandeur

3. Sirius, who’d been sitting quietly towards the side until now, barely manages to hide a flinch at her words and oh, how Harry wants to tear strips out of her for putting that expression on his face, and in his home at that.

He knows what it’s like to feel that way in your own house, like you’ll never be safe. He knows, intimately, the feeling of walls closing in on you, of an ever-present itch beneath your skin, feeling like you need to get out but you can’t. And he can not, will not forgive her for making his Sirius feel like that. Sirius, who has been unjustly locked up for a dozen years. Sirius, who broke out of the highest security prison in the country just for Harry. Sirius, who’s the only one who’s ever looked at Harry like he actually matters.

4. “Can I do your hair p’ease?” Jemmy asks and Sirius is thrust back, many decades ago, to a moment when another James who owned half of his heart, said the same thing to him. He shakes it off quickly though—the act comes easy to him, all this time later, though doesn’t hurt any less for it—because he’s more confused right now.

(contd) He doesn’t like anyone touching his hair, much less playing around with it when they don’t know what they’re doing—but this is Jemmy , and Sirius is as helpless to his smile as he was to his namesake. So what James Sirius asks for, James Sirius gets.

[bogos-bint3d]

Oooooooo you wanna find me great incredible Undyne centric content that I haven't seen before and will be consumed by ooooooooooo

[asofyet]

I am so sorry for the 3 people who consistently see my posts. I either share wonderful things and awful things. And I don't think there's a middle ground. Or a pattern.

[noxtivagus]

PEOPLE ARE SO INTERESTING

[thebigqueer]

Your breakup really really reminds me of my first (and only) wlw relationship/breakup everything you're saying hits home a lot. You will get through it but tbh it's so hard to heal and it still grinds my gears when I think about her and how we broke up. Idk if that helps but I understand what you're going though

YEAH MAN ITS TOUGH OUT HERE FR!!! its not my first queer relationship but like something about this is genuilnely the most world-shattering romantic experience ive had cuz we went into this soooo head over heels for each other like we were literally moving SO fast. and at the time i was like is it ok for us to even be moving this fast (probs tmi but we were literally making out shirtless by like 2nd time we even made out) (probs not a big deal to most people but i experienced a LOT of new things with her that id never experienced befoer & the fact that i was so WILLING to do it so fast was what surprised me the most) but then i was like okk whateverrr i really like how fast we're moving. and i was like 'damn if were moving this fast & if im feeling so good it has to end soon right like theres no way life is going to let me just be happy w this' and then i was like 'no elts not think about it' and then what do you know 5 months later she brekas up w me. and neither of us did anything wrong but it was so random??? like i dont understand how one moment shes telling me how excited she is to spend the entire semester with me and then literally 36 hours later tell me shes not feeling an emotional connection but wont even give us the chance to work it out. i know she also broke it off for personal reasons but its like... this was something we could have TRIED to work out you know!!! maybe it wouldnt have worked in the end but literally nothing felt off to me at all & if id known she was feeling this way i wouldve done my best to make things better. the entire breakup was so sudden and honestly im really not mad at her because i know how nerve-wracking it is to be in your first relationship. i think its just that im really dispapointed she gave up on us so easily you know??? didnt even give us a chance to figure it out

[toastsnaffler]

ohhhhh my god girl i don't careeeee

[a-sleepy-ginger]

9/4/24

✿❈✿❈✿

Saw a couple of black pigeons (never seen black pigeons before they are very cute)

Sweet potato chips

Tiger bread toast

Started watching Shuumatsu train doko e iku no and so far it's great

Teased my dog (somehow every time I close my hand there's something in there and he must have it)

Helped my mother cook rice

[neverendingford]

.

[highbury-days]

Time for me to vent my feelings abt being back on footblr