#i am wishing u strength and comfort!!!

[canongf]

it’s really so cool to see you reaching for your dreams and getting more involved within acting! sometimes i fall victim to thinking that it’s “too late” to do something or that i’m falling behind a lot of others my age or younger because life and other shitty things have stolen a lot of years from me, but it’s really cool to see you being proof that anything is possible at any time <3 i hope ur doing well and im so proud of you liv!!

(also i hope this doesn’t come across as rude in any form LRJAJFJES youll always have a little stranger rooting for you somewhere across the world <3)

anon!!! 🖤 this isn't rude, this is the sweetest thing in the world!!!!!

i know exactly how you feel. i don't know how many times i've felt like i've missed my chance, and with so many things!!! careers!!! hobbies!!! relationships!!! life milestones!!! i was sure of it. sometimes it's easy to forget how fluid and flexible life really is!!!

thank you, thank you, thank you for rooting for me!!! i am rooting for you!!! your path might be different than other people's, and it might look different than how you expected it to be or how you hoped it'd be, but it is still yours and there is still lots to look forward to!!! and i know it's hard and i know it's scary, but i hope you remember that you are not alone in it!!! we're figuring it out together!!! 🖤

[k-hotchoisan]

HI BABES MY LOVE MY DARLING I AM HERE TO REQUEST dammit i hate that it goes from my other acc tho ):<

BUT 13 PLSPSLPSLSPSLSPXLSPXPSLXPSLDPDPSP LUCKY NUMBER 13 AHAHAHA

also congrats on 500 babes you deserve the recognition and more <3 <3 <3 xoxo love u

13. San choking you while riding his orgasm or Deny Yunho’s orgasm?

HELLO MY ANGEL MY BABY MY DARLING MY SWEETPEA YOUR WISH IS MY COMMAND ✨ this was a tough choice btw got me sweating a little.

Where you decide to pull San’s strings on how long he can last through the stupid bet he made with his friends of not cumming for the whole month of November.

Warnings: smut, pwp, choking kink, cream pies, oh boy this got me hot and bothered, unprotected sex, pent up sexual frustration

Taglist: @bro-atz @diamond-3 @mcarebearsstuff (message me to be in taglist!)

K’s 500: this or that: masterlist

You thought it was so fucking ridiculous when San stops cuddling and being physically intimate with you because why?

He made a bet with his members on winning No Nut November.

It is so ridiculous, especially when you see his eyes fucking sparkling when he tells you that Mingi was the first one to lose. Then Wooyoung a couple days later.

But as the weeks sink in, so does his sexual frustration. It had been 15 fucking days since he held on, but he was genuinely about to snap, especially when you are around him. Especially. You’re getting annoyed with his little shenanigans and his stupid fucking bet because fuck, you needed to be dicked down. But obviously, compared to San, you knew clear as day, who had the better self control. But you wanted to see how much longer he could take—especially in the state he’s in right now, and especially when you decide to be suggestive.

The night started off as normal—San coming back from practice, and you walking past him dressed only in a silk tank and shorts that pretty much could come off as panties from how fucking short they are. You’re drying your hair with a towel as you greet your partner like any other day you do, before giving him a peck on his lips, and San makes the mistake of letting his eyes lower to your chest, staring at the way your cleavage dips down and your nipples perking out from the thin fabric.

He stares after you as you make your way to the bed, dropping yourself comfortably as the pants hike up even higher. San swallows hard and he tells himself not to think too much into it, but also, since when did you own that set of lounge wear?

He showers and leaves the bathroom half naked before only fitting on his sweats as he joins you in the bed, his eyes still locked onto how loose the top looks on you.

“How was your practice?” You ask, as you look up from your phone to meet his gaze.

He blinks for a spilt second and shrugs. “It was okay, I guess. I’m feeling more confident.”

Your lips curl into a smile as you put your phone down and wrap your arms around his biceps. “That’s great, babe. I know you’re always doing your best,” you hum as you lean in, pressing your body weight onto his arm. San’s brain is starting to go haywire when he feels your almost bare tits just pressing onto him. He swiftly glances at the way your tits push against each other when you’re on his arm and it takes all of his strength to hold back and not to pin you down (especially since he hasn’t had an orgasm for two weeks now).

“I had such a rough day, you know. Boss was such a bitch…” you start after pulling away. San tries to listen intently, like the good boyfriend that he is, as you blabber about your work, but he can’t stop fucking staring at the way the strap of your top hangs off your shoulder, and more of your chest is exposed as you’re being animated about your day, your hands moving dramatically as your words flow in and out of his ears because he’s too busy watching your tits bounce as your nipples are pressing against the uselessly thin fabric.

You pout when you realise he isn’t listening and you climb onto his lap to get his attention, knowing damn well that he’s slowly getting hard.

“You’re not listening, babe”, you whine, your hands cupping his cheeks. San forces a laugh. No doubt you’re being so adorable right now but San is definitely beginning to lose his rationale when he realises that you’re not wearing any underwear. He cups his larger hands over yours and kisses your palm, stroking your hands gently.

“Apologies, Angel. Just had a tiring day at practice”, he replies as he closes the distance between the both of you. You giggle, before pressing your lips onto his, and he immediately caves in. But the moment he wants to part your lips open, you pull back, leaving him confused and, pretty damn hard. You go back to using your phone, completely disregarding him. His hand slips around your waist, pulling you to face him. You only smile in response before turning away, and San basks in the way the pants you wear hugs the curvature of your ass a little too well.

“Could you give me a massage, babe? My back is sore from being stuck in the office all day”, you ask, looking over your shoulder. San easily complies, confident that’ll get his mind out of the gutter.

Oh how wrong he was. Every time his presses against a sore spot, he has to bite his cheek when you groan and moan. He fucking swears that you’re doing it on purpose. It doesn’t help when you request him to go down your sides, and it takes all of his self control to just not grab your tits.

His final strings of self control and rational completely snaps when you turn around and your top had slid down so much that your nipples were pretty much just peeking out from the fabric.

You eye him up and down, watching the way he’s just fucking you with his eyes. You surprise your laughter.

“Why not just fuck me if you’re just gonna keep staring like that?”

You sit up, reaching to kiss his jaw.

“Come on, you know you want to, Sannie.”

He stares up at you as you slowly sink down on his cock, taking him inch by inch, and his hands squeeze against your hips.

“fuck, you’re so fuckin tight”, San groans, feeling his cock push through wall of muscles which are squeezing around him relentlessly. He fucking swears that he’s gonna just cum just being inside you but no, not yet. It would be such a fucking waste if he did, especially when he hasn’t had the chance to fuck you so good for two weeks.

“And why’s that? Oh right, because you wouldn’t fuck me”, you hiss as you feel his fat cock completely stretch you out. He’s filling you up so good and you’re already seeing stars. You tilt your head back, relishing the feeling of being filled to brim after so long. His cock twitches in you and you sigh in bliss.

San can’t come up with an answer, mostly because you were right and partially because he was deep inside you and his mind is doused in frenzy.

You lift your hips and drop, and your fingernails leave scratches on his chest as you hear hisses leave San. The moment you begin bouncing on his cock is when he really starts losing his fucking mind—whenever your cunt swallows him up, his mind goes completely blank, only dopamine filling every crevice of his brain as he watches the way your tits bounce when you’re riding him.

“Sannie, you feel so good. So big”, you whimper as he meets your thrusts with push of his hips, completely knocking your breath away.

“Fuck!” San curses, somehow managing to find the strength to overpower you, and towering over you, letting you fall onto the bed, now resting on your back, all with his cock still in you, as he locks both of your wrists above you, using his legs to leverage himself while he fucks you into the bed. He steadies himself well enough that his free hand is around your neck, and he contracts his fingers, cutting off the oxygen as he pounds into you mercilessly. Your eyes roll to the back of your head as the only thing you’re feeling is his cock driving in and out of you. Broken moans are leaving your lips and San is staring down at you, swelling with pride when you’re withering so fucking good from the pleasure that you’re just taking whatever he’s giving you. Fuck the bet. He wants to make sure you’re so full that you’d be leaking for days on end when he’s done.

“Just like that baby, keep taking my cock like the good girl you are”, he coos, making sure every stroke he gives your cunt is so deep that you feel his balls pressing against your ass. Tears streak down your face and you’re blabbering incoherence whenever he releases his grip on your neck. He begins rutting into you, and he’s completely lost in bliss—desperate to chase his high.

The fucked out expression San wears makes you more aroused and you feel your stomach tighten, and when San hits the pretty spot in your tight little pussy, your cunt convulses, and before you could even process it, your orgasm hits you so fucking hard and you completely go still, eyes rolled back, seeing the fucking galaxy, as you cream all over his cock while riding out your orgasm.

“Oh my fucking god, babe. Are you fucking kidding me? You’re gonna send me to the heavens at this rate,” he grits when he cock gets squeezed even more.

His hand still around your neck, he pulls you back to face his face, making sure he milks your orgasm clean. He curses another “fuck”before he sees white spots, his turn to still into you pressing his body weight onto you, tightening his grip around your neck, watching you sob from the overstimulation as he lets ropes of cum just spurt into your abused cunt.

“Fuck me, babe. Look at how much cum is for you”, he moans, jutting his hips periodically, emptying himself into you, his cum filling you up so much that it begins leaking out of your hole even when he’s still in you.

“So good. San, I’m so full”, you sob, holding your legs up, making sure to hold as much of his cum as you could in your small cunt. He releases his grip on your neck and the oxygen burns in your lungs. You catch your breath, your body spasming slightly as San pulls out from you slowly, and his cum leaks out to your inner thigh.

“Damn. I can’t believe I’m the third to go down”, San sighs once his high teeters off.

“Please, you never stood a chance”, you scoff. San turns to face you, his eyes narrowing, before he has you under him again, his hands pinning you down as you feel his thighs push your legs open once more.

He dons a smirk before he presses his bare, hard and cum-covered cock onto your wet entrance. You gasp as your gaze flutters up to meet his.

“I don’t think you’ll stand a chance for the next few rounds I’m gonna give you, baby. You’re asking for it.”

[nkogneatho]

pasi my favorite 🥹🫂 can you do comforting isagi nagi and bachira after losing a game?? fank u💓

—cw: gn!reader, hurt/comfort, professional players.

𝐈𝐒𝐀𝐆𝐈 is nothing but disappointed in himself. He doesn't believe how his analysis and strategy went wrong. It was a big hit to his head because the adrenaline while kicking the ball overtook his sanity and he ended up using physical strength over strategy. He came home in the jersey. He didn't even wish to change his clothes in the locker room and came home straight to you. Judging by his expreession, you knew what was up. You immediately walked over to him, feeling guilty about not being there to support him because of work. Before he could utter a single word, you rested your hand on his cheek, stroking it. Isagi felt his sadness melting away as you muttered a "good job."

𝐍𝐀𝐆𝐈 was so sure it doesn't matter to him. Losing one game was not a big deal. But he was wrong. It did bother him. Not the game but his opponent . Nagi was so sure he had him in the palm of his hand, but his opponent seemed to be sharper than him, stronger than him. It was eating Sei up. He walked out and saw you waiting. Seishiro is good at hiding his emotions for some reason. Mostly, because he didn't want to make you worried. Yet, you knew. Why wouldn't you? You've been together for 2 years. He adressed you with a big smile on his face. Suddenly, you stood on your tippy toes and placed a soft kiss on his forehead. And Nagi couldn't help but warm up to your "I am so proud of you."

𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐑𝐀 is always optimistic about his tricks and abilities. What he couldn't predict was how ruthless his opponents were. It wasn't enough to just play with his strength and control over the ball. The opposite teams had bigger members than him who had absolute control ovwr the field. Even after he lost to them, he didn't let the regret of defeat appear on his face. He masked it with a beautiful wode smile that you always love while he ran towards you to jump in your embrace. But Meguru sometimes forgets that you can see right through him. You removed the gloves from your hand and ruffled his hair. "You did your best, Meguru." Your words fell on his ear and his regret washed away. This time, a genuine smile appeared rather than a big one on his face. It was funny how it was winter yet all you both felt was warmth in each other's arms.

[s0ulsniper]

albert aretz x gn!reader

warnings: just pure fluff

ask: "Heyooo!! I'm just gonna request an Albert imagine, basically, after hehe gets done recording a video (at like 3 in the morning...) gn! Reader is sleeping and he lays down on their chest and reader wakes up like 2 hours later and sees him and it's all cute and stuff (you can add whatever you want at the end) And I love your writing btw it makes my day ‼️"

synopsis: albert finishes editing, and as exhausted as he is, he falls asleep on top of you.

pairings: albert aretz (flamingo) x gn!reader

a/n: hey hey anon! thanks for such a description, it rlly made it so much easier. also, thanks so much for the kind words it means a lot to me and I hope you have a great weekend !! hope u like it. :)

the late night hadn't gotten to albert the way it had gotten to you, he knew once you sent him a text 4 hours before that you were out like a light in your usual sprawled out from that took across majority of the bed. he loved you for it, yet sometimes he wished he had room.

he was almost finished recording a new horror game that his fans had been beginning for him to play. he understood why while he made it. not only was it a long story game, but it's probably one of the scariest he has seen on the platform.

not enough to scare him though, right?

he clicked out of his Roblox tab and powered off his computer once he stopped the recording, yawning with his arms outstretched.

he had been waiting on this moment for the entire night, finally getting to fall asleep with you even if you didn't notice until the morning. he loved having you with him despite majority of his time going towards creating content and interacting with his fanbase and friends.

he loved how you understood.

his door creaks open once he shuts off the lights, feeling the hours of sitting in his lower back. he knew this nights sleep would last until mid afternoon, potentially more.

his office door closes with a low click. he could see the nightlights poking from under the door, he knew you loved the type of lighting from the lampposts. he had never seen someone fall asleep so quickly.

he opens the door to your bedroom after washing himself up, prepping for the night. his tired eyes fall into your form.

words couldn't describe how beautiful he thought you are, especially now with the blankets barley wrapped over you, and your hair messy from tossing and turning.

he feels his lips tug upwards as he walks quietly towards the bed, prompting himself to collapse as gently as he could on top of you.

the best pillow in the world, he wouldn't choose anything else.

his light smile remained on his face as he drifted off into his comforting sleep, his arm draped over your waist and his head gently tucked under yours.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

your body forces you awake at around 5:00 am, cold from the lack of blanket covering your body.

as you snap back into reality you feel the blanket at your feet, reaching down to grab for it. in the midst of it, you're stopped.

there was a heavy weight on your chest, which was weird considering your cat was sleeping peacefully on your side.

you look down as much as you can and feel Albert's hair poking at your neck, him sprawled out on top of you looking as comfortable and as adorable as ever.

you use whatever strength in you not to burst into laughter at the sight and instead settle on pulling the warm cover onto of you.

albert shifts, and you feel his arm around your waist tighten, a sigh of content leaving his body.

you run your fingers through his hair, who cares about not being able to feel your arm? worth it.

you fall back into your dream filled sleep of whatever you were as before.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

🏷️: @batluvr666 @yeehawbrothers @dogdevourer @ilovelyyoungie

[tavyliasin]

Call this one an experiment in a little something different, darlings~

We all have hard days, and some harder than most. So, perhaps a few words of comfort from some of our most beloved characters.

I may expand on these later to be fuller pieces of comfort, but only if that's something people feel they'd wish to see. So do let me know if it should go on my list, for more with these characters and additions of other favourites too~ I can probably so a short piece from anyone, given a little time to get under their skin and find their motivation/voice.

There's going to be some mild tw/cw for mental health, mention of scars, and subtle implications of pain/hurt/etc.

Astarion: "Darling, look into my eyes. That's right, keep your focus right here. Listen to my voice, breathe slowly. No more tears alone, love, you are a light in my endless night and I shall not let your flame burn low. You and I, we are more than the scars we never should have earned, and we are certainly far stronger than any blade or bow that has ever tried to take us down. You still do not believe it? You are here, living and breathing, despite all of your worst days.  Now, one day at a time, darling, one foot in front of the other. No stumble can erase how far you have come." 

---

Halsin: "I am here, my heart, what do you need? No shadow curse or vile beast can reach you from within my arms, no force of nature can tear you from them either. Take all the time you need, my love, I will not leave. Your tears are your strength, not your shame. Let me teach you of all I see within you, your boundless potential proving the acorn can become the oak. I see how you shelter others with your leaves, so let us - let me - hold you through the storm. Your boughs may bend but they will not break." 

---

Abdirak: "You endure your pain so well Dear One, but you must stop believing you deserve it. Pain is a gift, it can be loving, and deliver that love to Loviatar. But it must never break, it must not be delivered without purpose. Do not be so foolish as to believe your own hand is purpose enough. Let me show you the right pains, Dear One, the pain that can heal you. No others shall be permitted to taint the art that is you with sullied brushes." 

---

Raphael: "Little Mouse, you have set quite the trap for yourself, haven't you? Need I remind you exactly who you made a deal with? No. I shall not permit our agreement to be tainted, not by any insignificant insect that would dare to sting my prey. Do not look so forlorn, Little Mouse, your nickname is not an insult. You might be in the presence of a cat, and you would do well to remember that little fact, but a mouse can be swift, cunning, and survive against impossible odds. That is why I trust you, and no other, to bring me what I want most. It is why I offer you a deal that is almost entirely in your favour - no other could expect such generosity, Little Mouse, so keep that in mind. You are my favourite client, and I shall let none break you. Not even yourself."

---

Haarlep: "Ah my Little Thief, you wish to steal yourself away? No, I shall not have that. How bold you were to look me in the eye and to broker your own deal! I could have killed you the moment you stepped into my abode uninvited, but that, Little Thief, would have been such a terrible waste. You noticed, did you not? When I saw you, when I truly saw you, that I did not see just a body stood brazenly staring me down without a scrap of cloth to cover you. I saw potential, so very much delicious potential. Come now, lie back, tell your dear Haarlep what troubles you, and I shall erase every last one from your mind."

---

A bonus, from Tavylia Sin, to one and all.

Tavylia: "Hello, darling. I see you, I really do. I can see how tightly you hold on, how easily the little hope you cling to can slip through your fingers. I know you may never read this, I know you may never hear it, but perhaps someone else like you will read this instead and that will be enough. You are too unkind to yourself, even as you show endless understanding and patience to those around you. They love you, darling, they cherish you even when you don't hear it. I know you need to hear it , though, and I don't begrudge you the comfort of soft words. Just...remember them, love. Remember every moment you were heard, every time you were adored just the way you are, and know those feelings are still there. A heart of love is not emptied by a single moment of you not believing in yourself, your worth is not measured by what you provide. Your worth is within yourself. I see it, others do too. Take comfort, darling, you are never ever alone. I am with you, near or far, and my love for you will not fade. If you cannot believe in yourself for now, trust that we believe in you. Rest, love, the dawn brings a new day and you are always a pleasant part of mine."

[seelestia]

Since requests are open and I am severely craving some angst- how about an unrequited love trope for scaramouche, aether (if u write for him), zhongli, and diluc :D

(u can make it so either the reader or the character is the one pining or not, but I'd love to see reader suffer ngl HAHAHA)

- respectfully, an anon 👹✨ (also I've been reading ur recent works and holee shit ur good, keep up the great work !!)

★彡 𝐀 𝐅𝐎𝐎𝐋 𝐀𝐋𝐖𝐀𝐘𝐒 𝐅𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐒 𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐒𝐓.

❝𝐈𝐟 𝐟𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞, 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐈'𝐝 𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐤 𝐩𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐢𝐭.❞

SUMMARY. it's indeed a curse to fall for someone who will never feel the same.

CHARACTERS. scaramouche, aether, zhongli, diluc.

GENRE. angst, unrequited love, one-sided pining, hurt with no comfort.

CW. includes a few mocking insults from scara, some self-deprecating thoughts in zhongli and diluc's part.

THOUGHTS. yes, i do write for aether >:) and apologies if this request isn't what you expected since it turned out quite bite-sized... but nonetheless, thank you for the request, 👹✨ anon! (ㅅ˃ ⌑ ˂ )

✰ masterlist.

Foolishly falling for SCARAMOUCHE is like being told your feelings are no different than dust that cling to his clothes. Useless, an irritating bother, nothing more than a trivial problem he wishes is over and done with already.

The Balladeer barely even remembers your name, but there's something that intrigues him to the point he can't help but question what goes through your head.

Feelings for someone like him? He isn't the type of prince that people would fall for left and right, you know? Even if Scaramouche were, he would be a despicable one — and that is enough to either stir fear that causes people to flee from his direction or revere him further in the eyes of those who only glorify strength.

But where do you fit into that? Your feelings for him frustrate him more than he'd have liked to admit. And for that, Scaramouche concludes that you are simply the stupidest moron he's ever met.

Falling for someone who can never love you back? How pitiful, he almost wants to laugh at you.

─ ⊹ ⊱ ・・・・・・☆・・・・・・・⊰ ⊹ ─

Foolishly falling for AETHER is the realization that he has one wish and one wish only; that is to reunite with his sister and depart from Teyvat. He tells you that every night with a twinkle of reminiscence in his eyes as the both of you sit by the bonfire whilst Paimon munches on a skewer nearby.

Of course, you have your own wish too but you can never tell it to anyone, especially not to him — because your wish is only a childish yearning for the very same traveler you've grown to adore.

But the contents of your heart are meant to be kept inside like a lock that has its key thrown into the sea. Whatever will happen if Aether knows of your feelings for him? Will they damage his perception of you and the bond you have created with him?

You're too scared to imagine, much less find out the actual answer. But you've settled on one conclusion and that, alone, is enough of a reason for you to lock your heart out and keep your mouth shut forever.

Aether's sister has always mattered the most to him, you know that all too well and you shall respect it.

Even if it comes at the expense of your heart that aches with love for him, then so be it.

─ ⊹ ⊱ ・・・・・・☆・・・・・・・⊰ ⊹ ─

Foolishly falling for ZHONGLI is like admiring a precious pearl on display that you can't afford. Full of brilliance and only to be admired from afar, for it is too far out of reach to ever be yours. He is the pearl and you are nothing but a mere spectacle amongst the crowd, holding out your hands towards him longingly.

Compared to the reassurance in oneself that he exudes, the old saying's and wise poems that drip off of his lips like honey, you'd be almost nothing. To him, you're only a client of the Wangsheng Parlor who seems to favor his assistance unusually more than most.

Someone who merely pays for his time and assistance even if you don't need it, someone whom he has to accompany in courtesy of the Mora in your possession.

Perhaps, he might've thought of you as a kind listener to his musings at one point, but that is it.

Nothing more, nothing less.

As much as you wished differently.

─ ⊹ ⊱ ・・・・・・☆・・・・・・・⊰ ⊹ ─

Foolishly falling for DILUC is like being a flower amidst many beds of others, hoping you'd be the one to get picked. It is more than pathetic, really; the way you'd suddenly straighten your posture, smile just a little bit exaggeratedly, and soften the tone of your voice — only for him to pass by without even sparing you a glance.

It stings even more when you glance to your sides, seeing a reflection of your actions in certain people whose gazes linger on Diluc for far too long. But you don't have the rights to be jealous because that's the similarity between you and them.

Fools in love wishing for a sliver of hope that perhaps, the one you so desire will look you in the eyes.

Who doesn't want him? Diluc has it all; the looks, the riches, the generosity but still, he is as cold and untouchable as ice.

Such a contrast to the Pyro Vision in his possession, but that only piques your interest further. You want to uncover his secrets, you want to talk to him, you want to know who he truly is as a person — but that is too far-fetched when he barely notices your existence, isn't it?

After all, you are only one of many. Why would Diluc ever stop to look at you, a mere flower amongst a garden of others?

─ ⊹ ⊱ ・・・・・・☆・・・・・・・⊰ ⊹ ─

© SEELESTIA, july 2022. do not repost, plagiarize, translate nor claim as your own.

[mediocre-daydreams]

(ch.1) what it takes to heal

it was fine until it wasn’t

pairing: james potter x female! reader

summary: your relationship with james potter is purely platonic; he's a serial flirt incapable of commitment. james is determined to prove you wrong. when you’re assaulted at a party and he’s not there to protect you like he promised he’d be, he apologizes to you the only way he knows how to—by helping you heal.

warnings: sexual assault (clearly described), implied spiking of a drink, alcohol, use of coercive language, mutual pining and mutual idiocy

w/c: 5.1k

a/n: a lot of this story stems from my own experiences and what i wish would’ve been said to me and what i wish would’ve happened. to other survivors: you are so brave. there are moments in the story where the reader is being reminded of their strength, and i hope those words resonate with u

“You are… pathetic.” Dorcas flopped onto her stomach, landing right in the center of Marlene’s poster bed amongst a mountain of thick-knit red and gold pillows. The latter girl barely looked up from her Transfiguration dream journal as she chuckled in approval.

“Am not!” You cried, feeling around from your place on the carpet for a pillow of your own. You threw it at Dorcas’ head with as much force as you could muster; unfortunately, your aim was very much off and Marlene was very much the unsuspecting target of your attack.

“Why, you-” she shrieked, jumping from her comfortable position against the headboard. “My inkpot was right on the nightstand and your bloody pillow nearly stained my duvet! Not to mention, I was in the middle of journaling a great dream for Professor Trelawney…”

“Alright, the girl’s sorry. Now tell us about your ‘dream.’” Dorcas adjusted herself to fit snugly in Marlene’s new position.

“Well, in my dream,” Marlene began, clapping her hands together dramatically. You and Lily listened eagerly, always enjoying Marlene’s falsified dream journal entries for Divination. “Our Lily here finally worked up the nerve to approach that pretty blonde Slytherin girl… oh, what was her name? Nadia?”

Lily’s cheeks darkened furiously, as did her expression. “Marls! There’s nothing going on between us, we’re just Potions partners!” She huffed, hiding her face in her hands. “…And her name is Narcissa,” Lily mumbled from within her shield of fingers.

“Just Potions partners, huh? Would you say that you two have a lot of chemistry?” You giggled, batting your eyelashes and pretending to swoon.

“Bugger off! I could say the same about you and James!” You sobered up very quickly, which did not escape the watchful eyes of Marlene and Dorcas from their bed top perch.

“Wha- Are you mad? Lily, that git’s been completely obsessed with you since the second year! I’m pretty sure James doesn’t even know there are other girls in existence except for you.” You looked at the flushed redhead with bewilderment, whose head turned to Marlene and Dorcas for support. They shrugged back.

“Did Sirius not tell- oh Merlin,” Marlene laughed, her head falling forward and her hair dangling over Dorcas’ face. “James quit the chase almost a year ago when Sirius and Remus got together. I’m pretty sure he took one look at Frank and Alice, then saw Sirius and Remus, and realized that his infatuation with our lovely Miss Evans here was nothing more than a childish pipe dream.”

“Are you sure? Because I knew about Sirius and Remus but I could’ve sworn he continued to flirt with Lily for months afterward.”

Lily groaned. “He stopped flirting with me after he realized I was interested in Narcissa, you twat!” Marlene’s eyes widened comically as her hands flew up to her mouth, unsuccessfully hiding a loud gasp.

“I knew it! I knew there was something going on between you- Dorcas, didn’t I tell you?” Marlene looked down at Dorcas, who patted the enthusiastic girl’s cheeks lovingly.

“Yes, you did, Marls. You’ve got a real knack for these things, haven’t you?” Marlene beamed under Dorcas’ soft gaze and sweet words.

Dorcas turned to you, all of that softness gone. “But no more beating around the bush! Would you just put us all out of our misery and snog him already?” Your mouth gaped.

“First of all, who is ‘us?’ And who is ‘him?’ And what in Merlin’s beard does snogging have to do with this?” You pursed your lips, squinting suspiciously at Dorcas’ completely ungrounded accusation.

“We’re talking about James, you idiot! James Potter! Godric, you are so deep in denial that you’re bordering on delusional!” Marlene whined, fed up with your antics. “Look me in the eyes right now and tell me you don’t feel anything for him.”

You looked her in the eyes. You turned your head to the side jerkily to hide the heat creeping up your cheeks.

Lily yelped victoriously. “You are so full of shit!”

“He asked you to go with him to Hogsmeade, literally last week!” Dorcas whined, exasperated.

“No, he asked me if I needed any new quills or more parchment! And I didn’t!”

“Don’t play dumb, he quite literally invited you to go to Scrivenshaft’s Quill Shop with him and then offered to take you to Honeydukes!” Lily screeched.

“Well, you know he and Sirius and Peter aren’t the most organized! I swear, Remus probably has four spare quills while the other three pass around one—and so they probably lost the one and needed to purchase a replacement! And Remus loves chocolate, you know that. I’m sure there’s a perfectly rational expl-”

“This is exactly why you aren’t a Ravenclaw!” Dorcas flung herself off the bed, pillow in hand, and tackled you. You both resurfaced with mussed-up hair and big grins.

--

“She rejected me last time, remember?” James laid on his back, arm draped over his forehead, lost in his own self-pity.

“Mate, this is just sad. Remember how cheeky you were with Lily? Now you’re too scared to ask a girl out?” Sirius called from the connected bathroom as he ran gel through his perfect curls, admiring his reflection in the mirror.

“But look how that turned out for me! Nothing ever happened between me and Lily and plus, this girl is different! She’s not Lily, she’s- I can’t explain it! But I’m not a stupid first-year anymore. I can’t just get plastered and get up on a table and confess my love to the entire common room!”

Lupin grimaced. “Wasn’t that the whole reason you planned this party?”

“Fuck off, Moony.”

Peter scurried into the room with a bottle of firewhiskey in each hand. “Guess who just nicked the best part of the night?” Sirius cheered, emerging from the bathroom in all of his glory.

“Alright!” He wrapped his arm around Remus’ waist and curled up against his side. “James, m’dear boy, why don’t you run off now and let the girls know about the party?” Sirius turned his head questioningly as James refused to move. “Oi, mate. Are you alive, or are you off having pre-pubescent wet dreams about her?”

James’ head snapped up. “You- don’t walk away from me!” Sirius and Lupin snickered and snuck off to the bathroom, presumably to finish Sirius’ multi-step hair care routine, but anything could go. James sighed, finally getting off his bed. “Do you have any final words, Wormtail?”

“Well, if you’re not gonna make a move, you don’t mind if I ask her out tonight, do you?” Peter smirked, arms crossed as he watched James’ figure disappear behind a slamming door.

--

“You lot know there’s a party tonight, right?” Dorcas sat cross-legged in front of a full-length mirror, her eyes closed as Marlene applied mascara for her with gentle hands. One eye fluttered open at the sound of Lily’s indignation, prompting a new dissatisfied huff from Marlene.

“Yes, I know, which is very inconvenient because I was going to be doing my homework but-”

“Cut the rubbish, Lily. You were going to go find Narcissa to do some extra credit, except Narcissa will be in the Gryffindor common room this evening partying with the three of us, so… any change in plans?” You interrupted, smugly.

Lily was silent, before heaving a heavy exhale and whipping her head around at you. “Fine. But only if you promise to do my hair!”

A knock on the door broke the flow of conversation. Dorcas jumped, much to Marlene’s frustration once more, and the former girl jumped up to answer the door with one eye of mascara finished.

“Evenin’, ladies! Messieurs Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs,” he gestured towards his body at his own name, prompting a chorus of amused groans, “would like to cordially extend an invitation to tonight’s party, hosted by none other than the Maurauders themselves!”

Lily scoffed, though there was clear delight behind her eyes. “You four still using that ridiculous group name, I see?”

“It’s not ridiculous, m’darling! Merely a representation of our charming, boyish spirits.” He caught your eye and sent you a dazzling smirk. “And I hope to see all of your radiant faces there.” He held your gaze for a few moments more, before retreating from the doorway with a flourished bow and a light laugh. You heard his heavy footsteps trail off as you started into the space where his eyes had just been, seemingly peering into your soul mere seconds ago.

“You can stop with the heart eyes, now.” Lily snapped her fingers in front of your face a couple of times to break you out of your love-stricken trance.

“Sorry! I zoned out for a second…” You forced a few blinks, trying to remember what you had been discussing last. “Oh, sure! I’ll do your hair for the party. Do you wanna grab your things?”

You tied Lily’s hair into two long plaits, fidgeting with the front few strands to help accentuate her heart-shaped face. You smiled. “You look beautiful, ‘Lils.”

“As do you.”

You feigned offense. “Are you insinuating I don’t always look beautiful?” Lily broke into a laugh, scrunching her eyes closed. Marlene scurried over.

“Hey! You’re going to smudge your makeup all over, let it all set for a minute!”

It was always fun to get ready with your dormmates. They had become your best friends and closest confidants. So perhaps it would be wise to let them in…

“Do you really think he likes me?” You muttered, fidgeting with the straps of your dress. It was as if the three girls’ heads turned in synch, so quickly you swore they should’ve cracked.

“Likes you?” Lily wailed. “Not this again! Please, he adores you!”

“The bloke would jump off the astronomy tower in a heartbeat if it meant you’d go out with him. No, if it meant you’d even give him the time of day.” Marlene chimed in.

“I do give him the time of day!”

Marlene’s hands found a place on her hips, her trousers still halfway up her legs. “As if! He asks you out at least once a week and you always say no, insisting that it wasn’t even a date in the first place. You are literally blinder than he is!” Marlene squashed her face together in irritation, returning to her abandoned trousers.

You smoothed out your dress, turning to look at yourself in the mirror. It wasn’t anything special—a red slip you had borrowed from Lily, who insisted it looks better on you. green’s more my color anyway— but it was still unfamiliar to you. You looked wonderful, that you were aware of; the cowl neckline exposed the slopes of your shoulders and the shadows of your collarbones, where a small necklace with a lion charm rested just over your clavicle, a gift Peter had given you last Christmas when you had spent the holidays at the Potter’s. It was light and flowy and the fabric gleamed under the candlelit fixtures.

Dorcas came from behind you and pulled your hand into hers, sensing your slight hesitation, holding it between the two of you reassuringly. You smiled, speaking lightly from the corner of your mouth. “Dorcas, I think I might l-”

The door burst open to reveal Peter in outrageous house colors, with Sirius looking dapper behind him in a well-fitted hat. Your face broke into a splitting grin.

“If it isn’t the two most handsome boys of Gryffindor house!” You laugh, throwing an arm around each one’s shoulder. They were considerably taller than you, and you found your toes brushing the ground. Sirius noticed your frustration and swept you up, perching you on his right arm as his left came to wrap around your waist, steadying you. You shrieked, your hands immediately burying themselves in his freshly styled hair to find leverage, much to his chagrin.

“Sirius Black, you scoundrel! I’ll shove your pretty face into the common room fire if you drop me!”

He chuckled, making his way down the stairs carefully with your chest still smushed against the top of his head, refusing to watch your descent. “Don’t let James hear you calling me that, he’ll push me into the fire before you even get the chance.” The raucous laughter and steady pounding of the music seemed to set your heart into a steady metronome before you even hit the floor. You found your footing, trying to muster up the will to scold Sirius but finding the situation quite funny.

“I’ll admit, Sirius Black, that you are an entertaining method of transportation. But try that with me again, and I will do more to your hair than just mess it up.” You threatened, struggling to stay straight-faced.

The party looked nearly at full capacity by the time you and your roommates had arrived. A few people continued to trickle in from other houses, but as you surveyed the room, you were met with the faces of many strangers.

“We invited more of the other houses this time,” Peter piped up from behind you. “So you might not recognize everyone. But Sirius’ younger brother is here, he brought his Slytherin friends, if you want to go-” Peter was cut off by James’ booming laughter.

“Potter!” You squealed, feeling his strong arms wrap around you, pulling you into his chest so he could rest his chin on your crown for a hug. He smelled faintly of butterbeer.

“I saw Padfoot here carry you down; you tryna’ steal my girl, huh?” He looked pointedly towards Sirius, relishing the feeling of you in his arms and being able to call you “his girl.”

“Your girl, is that right, Jamie? I’m yours?” You wrangle yourself away from his tight grip, jutting your chin upwards to meet his eyes before Sirius can respond. In your peripheral, you can see Marlene and Lily wiggling their eyebrows and snickering not-so-subtly as Dorcas wanders off to grab drinks. He leans over you with a smirk, swaying slightly as his head drops to take you in, enjoying the flush on your cheeks. He knows it can’t be from the alcohol—you’ve only just arrived.

“That’s right, you could be m’girl you wanted to be.” He looped a hand around your shoulder, clearing a path through the crowd as he guided you towards the drinks. He had to shrink himself slightly to hear your voice through the roar of people.

“What’s in it for me?”

“What’s in it for you?” He looked miffed. “Other than being the object of all my affections, you’d have the famous James Potter as your arm candy.” You laughed at that. “Plus, I’d make all your drinks for you.”

He tipped his head toward the drink table. “What do you want?”

Your eyes flickered over the various juices and liquids, some colorful, some carbonated, and you felt out of your element. “I dunno. What are you having?” You met his gaze again, which had never left your face. Have his eyes always been that intoxicating? I remember them being really weird-looking when he was helping me with Charms yesterday.

“I’m trying not to drink too much tonight, actually,” he rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, shooting you a lopsided smile. You raised your eyebrows.

“Is that so, Pots?” His long arm flexed over the table to get you a cup, concocting you a drink with a practiced hand. “You look like you know what you’re doing, Potter,” you mused, leaning against your elbow to observe his hands in motion. “You been taking Potions lessons with Lily?” He shook his head, unruly brown curls bouncing happily.

“Nah, just making sure I can treat my favorite Gryffindor right.” He handed you the drink, which fizzed quietly and smelled of oranges.

“Otter’s Fizzy Orange Juice?” You asked, watching as the corners of his eyes crinkled, with the semblance of pride in his eyes.

“Yep, with a dash of firewhiskey. I know you’re not a big drinker, so it shouldn’t do anything more than make you tipsy.” You smile gratefully, this time being the first to initiate contact. You loop your elbow through his and pull him through the crowd merrily, hoping to reunite with your roommates and perhaps take up Peter’s offer of meeting Sirius’ younger brother.

The crowd was all sharp jostles and limbs and bony joints, and you could feel yourself being tossed around as a natural consequence of the business of the party. James frowned, watching as you struggled to keep ahold of his arm as you practically dove into a sea of bodies, your face dipping between his line of sight as you dodged taller partygoers. You abruptly halted, realizing James had stopped walking and that you were no longer able to drag him around without his help.

“Do you want me to, uh,” James looked uncharacteristically shy. He gestured his chest, and you couldn’t help but laugh as he made grabby hands to entrap you as you moved closer. He held you up against his jumper for a couple of seconds, his hands ghosting over your exposed back with such grace that goosebumps grew from the skin where his fingers had kissed. You inhaled deeply, appreciating the welcoming scent of his cologne; he was all lazy Saturday mornings and freshly baked bread and a newly started fire. He was the indulgent beginning.

“Here, I was thinking I could just pick you up.” He bent down to whisper into one of your ears, lips not quite touching your skin (but his breath made it feel as if they were). He looked down at you from the lenses of his glasses, which had begun to slip off his nose. You pushed them back up his face, the both of you giggling stupidly as your hands traced from the tip of his nose up the bridge. Good Godric, he really did have nice freckles.

“You know what? It’d be unfair to deny you the privilege of being my personal chauffeur when I’ve already graciously dolled that out to Sirius. Please, be my guest.” In one fluid motion, he hoisted you until you were practically seated on one of his shoulders. Immediately, you hated it.

“James! I’m gonna fall!” You exclaimed, half panicking, half loving the adrenaline of being so tall that you could swivel and survey the entire room. He positioned your legs so you were seated squarely on his broad shoulders, supportive and muscled from quidditch. You felt his chest shake with laughter, which only made you cling your legs around his neck tighter. One hand clutching your drink, the other arm nestled against the side of James’ head, you could feel the heat radiating off of him and you could feel his hands pressing firmly onto your calves, making sure you didn’t fall.

As the crowd thinned and you found yourself by the couches surrounding the fireplace, where your and James’ roommates, alongside Regulus, had congregated, James made no effort to set you down. You were antsy for solid ground, however. “James, at some point, I do need to return to the ground. I wore trainers for a reason.”

“If you’re not gonna let me hold you all night, at least let me wingardium leviosa you. You’re too out of this world to be walking.” There he was, that flirty, cocky James.

He slowly sunk to the ground in front of a plush velvet armchair, which left you at the perfect height to clamber off of him and onto the chair without much effort on your end. For a second, you thought James might want to come and sit in the chair with you. But he wiggled himself comfortably in front of your seat, slouching so that his head could occasionally pull back to rest between your thighs so he could look at you. You found that you didn’t mind.

Remus, squished into the corner of a loveseat by Sirius, leaned over. “This is the first time I’ve ever heard you call him James.” Your lips parted and eyebrows furrowed as you tried to recall any other instances in which you’d called him James. Remus was right—there were none.

“I was just caught off guard, ‘cos he picked me up, and-”

James tapped your knee, trying to get your attention. You pulled away from Remus, who still managed to sneak in a knowing look before he returned to his boyfriend’s side. “Hey, I’ve gotta go check on something. Sniv- Severus and some of his friends are here, I’m gonna make sure everyone’s fine.” He murmured lowly, so that only you could hear. From this close, you could see the way his eyelashes fluttered as he spoke so quietly to only you, as his index finger ran swirls into the velvet cushion on a spot just next to your knee.

You resisted the urge to brush your fingers over the scrape on his cheekbone, the one he obtained last weekend after he tried waving to you in the stands while holding a quaffle in the other hand during practice—another chaser snatched it right out of his grasp, sending him spiraling. It had seemed funny then, but up close, you could see the peach hairs dusting his face, the freckles over his nose, and the faintest stubble beginning to creep along his jawline (defining it even more, to your fury). When he was up close, he seemed real. He was no longer “The James Potter,” but James, the silly boy who tried to hold both your and his books but would end up dropping them all, the smart boy who’d lend you his notes and edit your essays because he always got top marks (even though he insisted he didn’t care about academics), the sweet boy who had asked your mom for a home recipe so he could prepare it for your birthday.

“Bye, Potter!” You shoved his face away from yours and waved to him aggressively, heart pounding. You took shaky breaths, desperately trying to return your pulse to normal. To your horror, the first thing you saw once regaining possession of your soul was a crowd of slack-jawed friends, both yours and James’, who had observed the entire interaction.

“Holy shit,” you breathed. “I’m so stupid, aren’t I?”

“Yeah, you bloody are!” Lily practically apparated before you, considering the speed at which she had fumed over, cheeks tinged red. “He likes you so much! He likes you lots! I mean, he probably loves you!” Then, it was your turn to blush.

“Lily, you’re drunk. I can tell because you just left Narcissa alone to come and berate me and sober Lily would never make such a foolish decision. Go back to your lovergirl, now.” You shooed her, and she pranced off very willingly.

You picked up the drink that James had made for you off the side table you had left it on, swirling it a bit before downing the last of its contents. It had become lukewarm and a little flat, but you enjoyed the orange enough to want more. You excused yourself, rearranging your dress a bit before hurrying off to pour yourself a second, hoping to be back in time to catch James.

A sweet Ravenclaw boy had his back to you, topping off his drink. He turned, and you both jumped at each other’s closeness.

“I’m so sorry!” He laughed, “Forgive me if I’m a little out of it. This is my second.” He extended his free arm to you, which you took. He had a firm handshake, like James, and big, round glasses, like James. You liked that about him.

“I like your glasses,” you said flatly. He seemed to find your bluntness charming.

“Want me to help you with yours?” He used his own cup to point to your empty one, and you smiled gratefully.

“My friend said last time it was the orange soda and a bit of firewhiskey.”

“It looks like they’re out of orange…Otter’s, right? I like him too. There’s grape, if you like that. Or I could pour you some gigglewater?”

You were a fervent anti-grape flavoring person. “I think I’ll try the gigglewater! Now tell me, will it really make me giggle?” He swung an arm around you good-naturedly just as Sirius and James had, and steered you to meet his friends.

You were faced with a group of kind-looking Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs, with a Slytherin who vaguely resembled Lily’s Narcissa in the back. You waved nervously, but they were more than happy to welcome a new member to their circle. They seemed like people you’d like to remain friends with. You made an effort to remember their names, but names had never been your strong suit, and you found them slipping out of your mind even more so today. You figured you should probably work on that; it does get a bit awkward asking somebody for their name the third time around.

Your drink-pourer was very gracious, asking if you felt comfortable, offering to hold your drink when you needed to use the loo, and he even handed you his jacket when he noticed you beginning to tremble. “I don’t think I’ve ever had this much to drink before,” you giggled, living up to the name of your drink. “Am I drunk?” You were a little dizzy, your fingers digging into the shoulder of your drink-pourer, who smiled kindly down at you.

“Yeah, honey, I think you are drunk. Let me take this out of your hands.” He took the cup from you, placing it carefully off to the side, returning to you with full attention. His hands rubbed small circles on your knees, as you fiddled with the sleeves of his jacket.

“Are you still cold?” He fretted, trying to pull his clothing around you more securely.

“Yes, but it’s fine, it’s not your jacket,” you puffed. “It’s this bloody dress. Well, it’s not bloody,” you giggled, “it’s red. It’s my friend’s dress. It’s nice, isn’t it? I think I look pretty. I think James thinks I’m pretty too… I don’t like how breezy it is though,” you confessed, putting your hands over his to stop them from moving as you pushed further into your mind for a train of thought. “I don’t like not wearing trousers. Wearing trousers are nice. You can just move around. Who even invented the idea of undergarments being a shameful thing anyways? They’re just fabric, and…”

Your drink-pourer brought a hand up to cup your face. His fingers were cold, and they dug into your cheeks. “Hey, everything’s gonna be fine. You’re with me now, got it?” He pulled you to his chest, his arm wrapping around your waist comfortingly. He smelled of quills and ink and alcohol.

“James?”

“Mhm?” The boy didn’t meet your eye, the arm around you only pulling you closer until you were on his lap, flush to his chest, the other inching closer to the hem of your dress.

“Can you take me back to my dorm? I’m sleepy.” His fingers slipped under the fabric of your dress, leaving teasing goosebumps as they crept up your thighs. The chill was a welcome respite from your burning skin.

He only hummed, patting your back as you settled your chin into the crook of his shoulder. He kissed the exposed flesh along your neck, and you sighed in contentment. He chuckled breathily, the hand under his dress finally coming up to fiddle with the waistband of your panties and the other toying with the slim strap of your cowl neck. You cleared your throat meekly. Before you could speak, the boy hushed comforts into your ear.

“It’s okay, I’m gonna take care of you. We’re gonna be good to each other, you hear me? You’re gonna help me feel good because that’s the nice thing to do.”

You nod mindlessly, his droning voice becoming static. “James, I think I lo-”

“What the fuck, Padfoot? She’s been gone for how long?” It’s as if a lighter is trying to light itself in your mind, but can’t get past the sparks. Something’s happening, you think, but you can only see it through minute bursts of light.

“You know that she doesn’t drink much! Why would you let her run off and get one herself? Are you daft? What the fuck, mate?” No matter how hard the boy whose lap you were currently in could try, the commotion around the fireplace had wormed its way into your mind. That far away, angry voice seemed much more familiar than James right now.

But this wasn’t James, was it? James would never kiss you. James was a good person, he’d never do that to Lily. So who was this? Where were you?

“Sorry, I think-” you begin to lift yourself from the boy’s embrace.

“Hey, where are you going? You can’t just leave alone, you’re drunk,” his hands tighten around your forearms until you yelp, beginning to flail in his grasp like a fish suffocating on air—with no regard for appearance, just sheer panic.

“I don’t know you! I can’t see anything,” you wept, chin quivering as fat tears began ruining’s perfectly done mascara. Godric, she’d be so upset. Your eyes burned as the makeup began irritating your tear glands.

Nobody liked a crying girl at a party. He let go of you without warning, sending you forward with too much momentum until you tripped onto the floor, the world spinning. Black was beginning to dot your vision as if small shadow fish were swimming across your line of sight, and when you looked around, the small fish grew into an entire school. It felt as if the whole school watched as you fumbled around the common room, eyes pinched shut and black trails running down your made-up face, your arm swinging wildly like a blind man’s cane. You heard something crash. Godric, I hope that wasn’t Alice’s new chess set.

“James? James? Can anyone hear me?” You were desperate, whimpering. You had stopped producing tears of sadness long ago—you were too dehydrated for that—and now, the only liquid on your face was that of your eyes trying desperately to eject everything that was preventing you from seeing.

You crashed into a wall. Great.

At least the wall smelled a bit like James. It shifted from beside you, but you were too tired to care. “Can I go to sleep?” You whispered, tilting your face upwards with your eyes still closed, not really asking permission from anyone. Because within the next few seconds, your head lolled and you drifted into a dreamless slumber.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

masterlist | series masterlist | next chapter

[mueritos]

hey i was wondering if i could ask you for some advice? i had top surgery almost 3 months ago. scars look great but i've got muscle splinting. i've been doing regular massages and stretches as instructed by my surgeon and obviously i know it's super early days, but i was wondering if you experienced this problem when you had your surgery and/or if you might have any tips and tricks to speed up the recovery process?

Hiya! So happy you got top surgery :) muscle splinting is very common after invasive surgeries. While top surgery is not invasive like heart surgery, it is invasive in the sense that any surgey can cause stress and trauma on the body. I actually suffered a lot of muscle splinting my first few months, especially first few weeks, after top surgery. It was mostly in the form of a lot of involuntary muscle spasms and tight muscles, so my chest was very contracted (and hunched over) while a lot of the other muscles in my body (like it my arms and legs) would spasm. I was prescribed muscle relaxers as part of my post-op care, so that definitely helped a lot considering it did the relaxing for me, but it made my near sighted vision really blurry (which is funny because I am near sighted). You can always ask to be prescribed muscle relaxers, but besides that, you need to teach your body that you are safe, and to be as relaxed as you possibly can. To help with a hunched over posture, I gradually began lowering my sleeping position as I healed. I believe I was sitting up reclined and slept like that for about two weeks before slowly lowering my sleeping position over the days until I could feel comfortable sleeping straight on my back. You should do this gradually to acclimate your skin and scars to the stretch of you standing/sleeping at full height. I also did my very best to try to stand up straight, and this required a lot of core strength.

Ideally, you should talk with your doc about your concerns with muscle splinting. Everyone's body reacts differently to surgery, but if you find you are still experiencing splinting, it may be best to talk with your doc and see if they can get you muscle relaxers (if that is within ur range of options). I wish u all the best, and if anyone has some tips, feel free to share them in the notes below!

[tiny-cloud-of-flowers]

hi ari !! what would lorenza be like , as a trust avatar for dungeons ? how often / quick would she use the limit break, are there any dungeons post endwalker that u think she'd be a part of for the story ?

Hello, friend! Thank you so much for such a neat question! I apologise somewhat for how long the answer has ended up, but only because I was not expecting it to get this long, and I wish I could summon this same sort of ability to answer the rest of the asks in my inbox.

Hmm.. I haven't really thought about Lorenza as being a Trust avatar, but I do agree that she would be a Duty Support option for post-Endwalker dungeons. Specifically, the Fell Court of Troia, Lapis Manalis, possibly the Aetherfont, and the Lunar Subterrane - I don't think she would be part of the initial Alzadaal's Legacy expedition, only being brought into the plot after it became evident that there's a voidgate down there. She would also appear in certain alliance raids, like the World of Darkness and possibly Dun Scaith (and possibly the other two Shadows of Mhach raids as well), though probably not in playable form - it would be a bit like how the Royal City of Rabanastre starts out with Ramza and Lina Mewrilah alongside everyone. Her voiceline when selected for Trust changes depends on which dungeon you're going into - it's "I shall do what I can.." for Shadowbringers content on the First, "Let us end this." for post-5.3 and Endwalker dungeons, and "Sit back and watch the show!" for the post-Endwalker ones. This reflects her different levels of comfort in different worlds and parts of the story. Alternatively, if Zero has already been added to the party, then bringing Lorenza in as well will cause her to say "This is how it should be, here with you.." to her - which the player may well interpret as being aimed at them, but it's very clearly not >w<

In terms of how she would work, Lorenza's class as a Trust avatar would be Void Princess, a magical ranged DPS which mostly acts like a Black Mage except her actual spell effects are different (since, her magic is void-based, and her spells are either prefaced with the Void prefix or just outright called different things to show this). She is very keen to keep herself out of harm's way, making common use of Aetherial Manipulation to teleport to whoever is not going to get hit by whatever attack is coming next, instead of running away from it herself. If you have Zero in the party as the other DPS, then Zero becomes able to use the Enshroud skills of a reaper, as Lorenza is able to provide her with strength as if she were her avatar; this is about the only time she will sacrifice her personal DPS for the sake of boosting someone else's. (You may have noticed that this isn't entirely congruent with how I play as Lorenza when I play the game, since I've been playing her as a reaper post-Endwalker instead of a black mage. However, Zero already occupies the reaper-like niche as a memoriate, and magic suits Lorenza better than melee anyway.)

Alternatively, based on the fact that the Trust system currently doesn't have any physical ranged DPS options, I am also considering letting her be her Shadowbringers class, Glaivethrower - or just an alternate version of Void Princess with the Dancer icon, since I don't think all-rounders like G'raha change class name when deciding exact role. This is a ranged DPS that functions identically to Dancer, reflecting the twin-sickled fighting style she picked up from Lyna during the time she spent weakened on the First, but with a much more ominous/dark flavour to the visual effects and different attack names, because unlocking Trust means that the First has been saved and she can be back up to more like her initial power level. She will "dance partner" with the other DPS, unless that DPS is Ryne, in which case she will partner with the tank (simply because I don't think Ryne's light and Lorenza's darkness would be particularly compatible, oops). This would make her Shadowbringers appearance (or, rather, post-Shadowbringers since she'd have her hood down) her only option at level 70, leading into her level 80 glamour being her Endwalker appearance, and her level 90 glamour her post-Endwalker appearance.

Regarding the limit break.. if you (the player) are the other DPS, then Lorenza will not use the limit break unless it's either been at level 3 for a long time, or she can calculate that it will defeat the boss, at which point she uses it instantly; however, if Zero is the other DPS, she will never use the limit break in order to let Zero use it, which may or may not be the only time she actually does use them, I'm not sure. So, if you want to be the one to use the limit break, my suggestion would be to use it as soon as it hits level 3, so you're not wasting any of the gauge. I'm wondering whether Lorenza might have a stronger limit break than she should do for not being a melee DPS, simply because of the implication that limit breaks are powered by dynamis instead of aether, and voidsent are not only not subjected to any rejoinings (so have less aether than beings of the Source), but are almost always aether-starved to begin with because of how the Thirteenth is. So, wouldn't it be possible that someone from a reflection - like Lorenza - would be able to harness dynamis to more of an extent than someone from the Source - like most of the Scions? Leading to a more powerful limit break?

I hope that all of this answers your question, friend ^-^ thank you so much once again for sending it in!!!

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

i'm so happy you liked it!!! wow, you're just as insane as I am. life is good. our thoughts are in sync. the tragedy that speaks to the core. thank YOU. it's refreshing to let your slightly crazy thoughts out there and be welcomed. im absolutely insane for their dynamic (im dying to live this). you have no idea (im losing it). i personally think gojo would be relieved once he's king, he's in control now, it's natural to him. there are more possibilities and he's so prepared. but you know what? becoming king has its duties and one of them is that prince!gojo's hand has been promised before he was born. i wonder how he'd cope with that knowing he belongs to someone else. i like to think he'd rebel and refuse the marriage completely (for personal, selfish reasons), but again he isn't childish in the sense of ignoring politics completely, yes? behind playful comments he is indeed a smart man. after all, he was raised to become this. he knows how to navigate the world and understands that his decisions can have massive political impact (and that this can also be negative for his knight, right? he cannot risk losing the power and privileges he owns, how would he be able to protect them? he must play the game as is). i think this might be one of the moments in his life where he'll be the most conflicted. but he'd play nice and polite when his fiance comes to visit him (i think due to gojo's natural disdain for his fiance, casual visits would be encouraged a few weeks before marriage). the first sting of jealousy knight!reader feels and oh. that's when they realize the nature of their feelings for prince!gojo. that it goes a little beyond what they thought. their dynamic might shift a little, things become uncertain and confused. knight!reader might dissociate between it all, not allowing selfish feelings to get in the way. and gojo's so annoyed and he wishes the whole building would just collapse and burn with everyone in it. and there knight!reader is, not so far away, shining only for his eyes. prince!gojo looks at them like begging for forgiveness, help, love and sadness all together while the lady by his side tries to get his attention. it's pathetic, he thinks. but his heart is somewhere else, it belongs to someone else for fucking sake!!! can't anyone see that? their first kiss would probably happen during this time I think. i can see him finding knight!reader at night, carrying the weight of the kingdom on his shoulders. and when his eyes land on them relief washes over him. soft moonlight shyly on knight's confused face asking 'satoru, are you okay?' vulnerability! comfort! home! because they belong to each other deeply, a mere look on each others face is enough to understand something is wrong. the kiss!! his little act of rebellion. he's so proud of it after, it's cute af. can you see? the blushing and all!! difficult times, ah the hurt!! at the end,,, i think ruling by himself is much gojo like, right? it would be somewhat controversial and there would be implications but to him it wouldn't be fair to fill a promise he didn't make, plus he's committed to his knight!reader already. ye? he'd learn so much and mature during this period as well. he'd find strength in his love and his love alone. it fills him with a supernatural sense of responsibility that he finally understands that knight!reader went through (though only a little, as he doesn't get his hands dirty nor commit acts of violence (i hope he does, sincerely)). and yess,,, sorry, it was too much again. or if it doesnt resonate with you, haha. omg. i am simply happy in my element talking to you. yes, uhm. you can call me momo/crazymomo if thats ok? it was supposed to be 'crazymomo' but i guess it kind got f'ed up in the way and i just didnt care about fixing it. im bringing you cake ok!!!!!

HI MOMOOO u r feeding us yet again!!!!! and same same same, its so fun to be insane together i appreciate u sm <333 mickey rlly is a genius bc ive never seen a character/reader dynamic thats caused as much insanity as knight!reader & prince!gojo they had me in a chokehold from the get-go

and OHHH these thoughts momo!!!! so tasty and interesting, i lovelovelove hearing more abt how u interpret them!! when it comes to dynamics like these i feel like everyone has their own take on them at least to some degree and i think its SOSO fun to compare!!!!

BUT OKOK let me get thru this!!! i had so much fun reading this and thinking abt it, u brought up so many things i hadnt considered yet!!

OK SO. king!gojo…… after some contemplation i think i definitely agree w u momo. i feel like satoru relaxes once he has the throne. its tough and a huge responsibility, a weight on his shoulders, but its no longer hanging over him as a burden he’ll one day have to bear, its something he’s gained and grown used to and i think he earnestly loves making a change in the society he lives in. and!! i think he is soso loved. i see him as the type to visit poorer villages all the time, financially support struggling mothers, speak to their babies and hold them all gently HES JUST SO… hes such a good man im gonna be sick. ABSOLUTELY helps all orphans he comes across they may or may not remind him of a certain knight so he cant bear to look away from them

(i do think he still longs to run away w knight!reader tho…. its just a nice daydream to him atp bc its impossible in so many ways but i think he hates the fact that being king means hes moved even further above them on the social ladder)

BUT ANYHOW ANYHOW lets get to the juicy bits. the engagement bits. i have my own take on this that differs from urs a little bit momo but i think urs is soso good and nice and romantic… and i agree on a lot too!! specifically this ohhh u get him soso well!!

behind playful comments he is indeed a smart man. after all, he was raised to become this. 

(…)

(and that this can also be negative for his knight, right? he cannot risk losing the power and privileges he owns, how would he be able to protect them? he must play the game as is.)

^ i agree soso much!!!! i think prince!gojo is very very clever, he enjoys acting goofy and has a very genuinely silly side but i do think hes both intelligent and mature. especially when it comes to politics, both for the sake of his own sense of duty AND what you said — for the sake of knight!reader!! they’re his motivation to become king in the first place, so i don’t see him doing anything that’ll cause too much of a stir; but at the same time… he gets away with a lot.

i do think rejecting his fiancee completely as a prince might be too much (his parents let him do as he pleases for the most part, but theyre not fun to deal with when they start to feel threatened lol), but once hes become king… well.

i think you’re right, momo!! he chooses to lead the nation on his own, with no queen by his side — only one very loyal knight. 

(on the topic of heirs though since thats kind of connected to this… obviously his decision causes quite a stir. who will lead the kingdom when hes gone? a king with no firstborn — how scandalous. and so on.

but satoru doesn’t care. he continues to live his life, do his duty. visiting villages, dealing with neighouring countries… and, well. maybe one day he happens to run into a particularly clever assassin, with a scar on his bottom lip, escaping by the skin of his teeth and thanks to his knight — and, who knows? maybe said assassin, bleeding out, murmurs something about a child, a run-down building, a young life soon to be lost… and maybe satoru finds said child. maybe he even feels compelled to look after him, just for a while, because that unruly hair and those guarded eyes remind him a bit too much of a certain someone.

and if satoru grows fond of said boy, if he raises him as a candidate for the throne, but with an understanding and sympathy that he never received himself — then that’s no one’s business but his own.)

my bad i got carried away PHDKFJFJ back to the topic at hand. (i just needed to bring gumi into this narrative hes my special little boy ALSO maybe just maybe suguru finds an orphaned boy in the woods w pink hair who he takes in and raises as a knight hmmmm.. wonder what that’s all about…..) SORRY IM SORRY theres. so much to think abt when it comes to this au…………..

but anyways. i think satoru abolishes the marriage the moment he becomes king — but until then hes polite, well-mannered, maybe even a tad friendly w his fiancee. just to make it easier for the both of them. he does however make it very, very clear that this is a business partnership in his mind — its not a marriage of love, it never will be. and he’s firm about it. he has no intention of leading her on.

i think he might even go as far as to say his heart belongs to someone else (hes giggling on the inside bro gets butterflies at the thought of belonging to his knight in any way shape or form), with no specifics since he doesnt want to get knight!reader into any kind of trouble with the royal court.

but yes!! this is where i think our takes differ a bit (not at ALL a bad thing i just need to make that clear!!) bc i dont rlly see knight!reader being jealous!! i see their relationship with satoru as very comfortable, w a strong sense of understanding between them. it isnt entirely romantic or entirely platonic — if i had to put it in simple terms i’d just call them soulmates. they were born to save each other. and i think both of them understand that! knight!reader is well aware that satoru doesnt feel a single thing for his fiancee, because he makes it so clear that no one has a place at his side except for knight!reader themselves. so in that sense i dont see that uncertainty appearing!! i think the only one between them who feels frustrated is satoru.

and gojo's so annoyed and he wishes the whole building would just collapse and burn with everyone in it. <- THIS IS SOOOO CANON TO ME BTW i think that when ppl are being annoying around the castle a tiny voice in his head is like ”i hope this building fucking explodes” PHDNDBD HES SO DRAMATIC…. but in this case i think hes just so frustrated, especially if his fiancee/parents make the whole engagement more troublesome than it has to be.

on that note i just gotta mention;

and there knight!reader is, not so far away, shining only for his eyes. prince!gojo looks at them like begging for forgiveness, help, love and sadness all together while the lady by his side tries to get his attention. it's pathetic, he thinks. <- GOD THIS ONE GOT ME THIS ONE GOT ME GOOD momo pls stop im in agony </3 ohhh the way his eyes reflect his soul those sad sad puppydog eyes ☹️☹️ i would fold instantly

so in simple terms!! i think knight!reader and toru feel very at home in their dynamic. i dont think knight!reader would mind at all if satoru got a fiancee — if she made him happy i think they’d even grow fond of her. theyre just very kind and accepting, and dedicated to their prince’s happiness above all else. (but, of course, satoru’s happiness only ever lies with them 😔 stupid silly dense knight.) 

BUT THE KISSSS OHHH THE KISS MOMO…. i see your vision so SO clearly. i picture their kiss by the riverbank like this too — satoru does it w/o thinking overcome by fondness and hes all giggly and giddy after. hes just happy to be alive PDJJDFJ 100% goes for a forehead kiss right after bc his heart is just bursting at the seams and his favorite person ever is right there in front of him!! all blushy and unsure!!! ohhh hes OBSESSED momo u get it ofc u do… ur version of events is so lovely and sweet!! i can really picture is so vividly!!

ANYWAY that was so fun pls never apologize, i lovelovelove long asks like this!! it was such a treat to read!! <33 IM BRINGING U A BIG CAKE TOO tysm for blessing us w this 🎂 (lets share it hehe 🍰🍰) (+ extra piece for mickey in case they see this here u go mickey 🍰)

[book-buni]

rahh im so peeved rn bc this girl in my english class was totally looking down on paperback books VERY DISRESPECTFULLY, saying bs like "hardcovers are better bc theyre prettier" (ummm?????)

i was like "i prefer paperbacks more" super calmly even tho i hate her and she was like "ew no they break easily, i hate how they bend" like mf the bends in their pages are what shows that they lived. it shows that i read them and i loved them.

also i was like "yeah hardcovers are nice but paperbacks are more convenient and comfortable and easier to annotate" and she was like "uhhhh tf who annotates their books 🙄 i would never. thats like ruining the book!"

i got so mad im so mad still omfg

i try so hard to be accepting of her as a reader but shes always so disrepectful of other readers i wish i could kick her out of the community i hate her sm like u dont deserve the label "reader" if you're gonna be such an elitist and pretend to be better than everyone else (when youre literally not!! she doesnt even know who oscar wilde is dammit!!)

ughhh

also i cant believe she even dares to call herself a reader if shes gonna hate on paperback books.... theyre literally books too wtf does she only care abt aesthetics???

i don’t think annotating is ruining the book but i’m paranoid if i did i’m gonna regret doing it 😭

and hardcovers are nice for preservation in the long run but I don’t understand why the girl in your class is being elitist about something that doesn’t even matter as much as what’s inside? (I really like feeling the pages for some reason but also the other important inside is the story of course) hardcovers are so much heavier if I want to read while lying down. i don’t have enough arm strength for that. plus they sometimes have that paper cover/slip thingamabob that I really don’t like the sound of and the fact that I have to readjust the position of the cover thing so it doesn’t completely slip off the book itself - I think one time I actually removed it once though and just put it back on when I wasn’t reading in the moment

and sometimes for aesthetics I don’t like the cover of the occasional book but it’s really not that big of a deal because why am I buying the book if not for reading it without knowing what I’m getting into except that gut feeling that I will like it

also in general if someone is making a super big deal (not a little friendly debate thing) about whether a hardcover is better than a paperback or similar things they usually aren’t people who read as much - but I could be wrong about that

[mitskikissme]

I need to talk about this or I'll explode but bad habit but steve lacy is such a sanuso song. I'm going rabid rn.

I wish I knew you wanted me???

That's definitely from sanjis perspective maybe post timeskip

Here's my hc( mind u I'm in water 7 rn and have not caught up to op yet!!) Spoilers for water 7!!!!!

Okay so usopp most definitely admires sanji and his strength and how he seems very sure of himself the way he presents himself to others the way he talks the way he fights everything!! (I actually think sanji is pretty insecure but is vry good at covering it up. But usopp doesnt rlly see that and just sees him as this super cool suave dude) bro definitely has a crush on sanji for sureee

But usopp also seems very insecure and believes hed obviously never have a chance so even tho it hurts him he comes to terms with the fact that nothing is ever gonna happen there. Like when u have a crush but ur like yeah no way in hell am I ever confessing <3

Anyway sanji is most likely oblivious to all this lmao. He definitely treats usopp better compared to other male characters and I think its because deep down he likes usopp too he just doesnt know how to process those feelings cos man is repressed as hell😭. So he thinks yeah that's just normal friendship definitely doesnt mean anything that I'm always worried about him and enjoy his company more than anyone elses and make snacks specifically for him and take into consideration what stuff he likes or wants to protect him in fights or takes time to ask about his hobbies and is genuinely interested in what hes doing and believes in his abilities even when usopp doesnt believe in himself.

Also listen during water seven when usopp and luffy are fighting the fact that sanji kicks them both and looks so genuinely scared and hurt that luffy implied usopp should leave makes me so insane. And personally I never thought sanji would be the voice if reason I expected him to be like yeah usop let it go and stop trying to disobey your captains orders so It threw me for a loop cos sanji was so adamant on not letting usopp leave and was standing up for him. I am foaming at the mouth btw Anyway

The 2 yr timeskip happens and usopp gets jacked but also matures and grows and I love him so so much he realizes so much about himself and oh yeah also crush on sanji? Bros over it. Hes moved on and is okay being friends and just personally dealt with his feelings and grew in such a healthy way for himself. Like yes it hurt, change and growth are painful but inevitable and time passes. Feelings change and that's okay.

Sanji grows and matures too and comes to accept alot of things about himself and is more comfortable in his own skin and identity! And he starts to realize zamnn usopp has also grown and changed and bettered himself and has such a lively air to him and overall is more confident!?

Then maybe someone in passing (like zoro) mentions something like oof too late loverboy that ship sailed so long ago hella missed ur chance. And sanji malfunctions!!!

Hes like um what?????!?!?!

They're like um yeah it was so obvious hed always follow u around like a lost puppy and sanjis like um this is news to me bruh???? Anyway it hits him that yeah he had a chance. As in had!! Not rlly anymore and he has to come to terms with that.

AND SO I TELL UUU

'I wish I knew you wanted me' also " were you not too good for me my dear?" Like come on its writing itself tbh. I feel the song is in sanjis perspective thinking about how he never realized usopp feelings and how he genuinely cannot believe that usopp had feelings for him considering how much more insecure he was pre timeskip and how he sees usopp as such a caring and loving person and is actually a little bit jealous of how emotions seem to come so easily from usopp. So maybe if they were both mature and not so emotionally stunted/ repressed/insecure in themselves, maybe just maybe??? Something could've happened there.

This is all just my hc so take it with a grain of salt LMAOO. I actually like to imagine them happy but oof I'm a sucker for angst!!

[thechaoticplayer]

SFW Dating Chaotic headcanons!

At first, I'll seem kinda distant, or like nothing has changed at all

It's mostly because I'm afraid of overstepping any boundaries, or being too damn clingy/obnoxious

after a lot of convincing, I will be the most affectionate person known to man

I am a very energetic individual, my friends will tell you (and complain) about how talkative I am

I'm actually a pretty touchy person, if I'm comfortable with you just expect me to grab your thigh or arm out of nowhere, lots of cuddles and snuggles, and probably some bites because bwahahaha

I giggle at the stupidest shit. I apologize

I will always try to make you laugh because seeing a smile on you will make me so happy and proud

I will act like the most baddest and evilest bitch out here, always flexing or bragging about how awesome I am then the next I'm saying how much I suck and how I wish I was anyone else

I'm not the type to talk about my feelings, I'm so used to bottling them out it actually makes me a bit uncomfortable talking about my own wellbeing (boo self care)

However I'm always down to hear anything you have to say, venting to me is encouraged actually (certified silly therapist trust)

I will flirt with you. Endlessly. There is no stopping me. Nothing.

If you flirt back, I might either immediately refuse what you say as true or become instantly flustered. I have to admit I get kinda flustered easy because I believe no one will purposely and actively flirt with me

Hugs and kisses! Im gonna shower the shit out of you with those

I will try to get you gifts, but I'm always unsure what to get you 😭

If you're shorter than me I am gonna bully you about your height

If you're taller... no you're not.

I will yap to you about things I like/love so be prepared

I do like my alone time sometimes, and if I'm in a bit of a bad mood, I might snap at you, but I try my best to not to bc Ily pookie

Pick up lines. Are. A. Yes.

I will love to hold hands with you, I will take your hand and press a tiny kiss to your knuckles ♡

I will fight anyone that talks shit about you. Either verbally or physically I will. I dont even care if I get hurt in the process I will protect the shit out of you.

I will compliment how good you look often

I dont mind staying home and just chilling, we dont have to do extravagant dates

Expect me to buy a lot of sweets bc my sweet tooth is insane- if you love spicy food and want me to try I will literally pass away I hope ur happy

I joke about a lot of things, and it may seem like I'm unserious, but there are times im serious, I just use it as a coping mechanism

I will try my best to look good for u shawty but not all the time (sweatpants sweatshirt gang)

I will try to hide my insecurities so u dont have to worry about me bc I'm supposed to be ur super strong buff lover (I cant lift too heavy stuff, but I will do it for u)

I will show you my writings and drawings often

I will kinda get super flirty with u in the *ahem* sense, but the moment u allow me I back away bc intimacy makes me skitter away in fear

GIVE ME ATTENTION >:[[[[ or else I will ignore you a certain amount of time (some y'all saw how bratty I can get)

Lots of teasing coming your way bro I love to tease (if u tease back... FOR SPARTAAAAAAAA)

If u like to play sports i will BEAT U NO CHANCE IM LETTING U WIN (sometimes i will let u win bc i feel bad)

U a gamer? 1V1 ME ALL DAY EVERYDAY

i will like to smell u (it's kinda weird I sorry 😭😭)

You love to sing? Sing for me right now honey I will love any song u sing

If u get me stuff i will actually be so happy and surprised

I may be unintentionally rough, I underestimate my own strength sometimes

You can be in my arms, or I can be yours! I dont mind being little spoon or big spoon

I will admit the most shameful things that I wouldnt want others to know, only to you (like how much i like headpats and ear scratches... kms)

PREPARE FOR CRINGE X3 NUZZLES UWU SO WARM

If anyone wants more I dont mind sharing lmao I only did this to develop my character and rlly think abt how im like

[konigenblobbity]

Hi! So I read your last fic about Hobi and omg! As if you wrote it based on my personality, im like shy reader, but cuz i grew up in a tough place 🥲. I wanted to thank you for making me see myself in more positive ways ✨️🫶🏻🩷, if ur comfortable would you write a request for Hobi with F!reader

tw : mention of trauma without details

f reader who works at HQ as a tech engineer and is non-verbal due to childhood trauma, her quiet and well-reserved characteristics make her seem invisible, and how physical touch and sign language is how to connect to people. can you also show how Hobi would - by his easy-going nature- connect to her, how his feelings towards her protect her and gives her a safe space to grow.

I'm learning to be more open about my disability and this request is a special one, ofc if it's ok with u, im "merai" anon btw 💙 if u want to tag it

Thank you so much Merai anon for the kind words ❤️

I’m so glad that my work was able to lift you up and helped you see yourself in a better light. I’m so proud of you for making it through whatever it is you went through, but the fact that you’re still here and even striving to grow is an amazing feat that you should be proud of yourself for.

That goes for anyone else as well, I’m so proud of any of you who have the strength to move forward even when it feels like you’re being dragged down.

I love this idea and am more than happy to write this special request for you… in fact I’ve already started writing it! I’ll link this request to the work once it’s posted and feel free to message me privately if you want me to tag you - or simply message you if that makes you feel more comfortable - when I actually post it.

Sending love to everyone, wishing you a great day, or night.

Until my next post meine Lieben :)

[raccoonfallsharder]

u don't have to respond to this if u don't wanna but I read ur last kinktober post and it was really good but also

I was a victim of grooming as a child and luckily he never... got anything from me, idk how to phrase it

but I felt seen even if my situation was a lot different from pearl's, so thank u for that <3

and I hope ur doing well

hello little love. i’m sorry for the delayed response (i often take longer but this is important) — but i wanted to take some time to think. i so appreciate you reaching out and sharing this && i am grateful that i was able to write something that gave you some sense of recognition or resonance, and (i hope) a feeling of being accepted and loved. pearl is one of my favorite characters — i identify with her a lot, and it is nice to think that she could provide the tiniest bit of catharsis or comfort to someone else

i don’t want to make assumptions about your situation but i do want to say that i am so glad that you survived it — and that you should never have had to be called on to have that kind of strength && resilience. adults are supposed to look out for children && protect them, to cherish their trust and do their goddamn fuckin best to be worthy of it. i am so sorry that this person betrayed you, and that other adults didn’t notice in time to step in sooner. children are perfect (even when they’re not) and you were, too. and you deserved better from everyone.

i hope that you treat yourself now with the care & loving compassion that you have always deserved, that you have a strong & warm & unconditional support system that lifts you up and holds space for you and closes ranks around you whenever the situation requires, && that you continue to heal in whatever ways you need. i’m sending you all my love, and wishing you a life full of kindness, community, encouragement, safety, comfort, warm drinks, and the loveliest most tranquil autumn sunrises slanting through meadows of foxtail & silver grass.

that is all ♡

[astraystayyh]

hi, my love.

I'm not gonna wish you a happy new year because life isn't constant happiness.

but i will wish you a very fulfilling experience, I wish you a gentle year, a life that's kind to you, and a place filled by people who value you for you.

I wish you a view of all of nature's wonders, and I wish you days spent finding small bits of bliss in little things. I wish you specks of pixiedust to brighten up your days. I wish you the warmth of the sun and the calm of the ocean. I wish you the comfort of the earth and the freedom of the wind. I wish you life, my angel.

Most of all I wish you hope and strength to make it through the agony you might have to face, I wish you the constant knowledge of the fact that calm always comes after a storm. healing always follows suffering, even if not immediately. And I wish you companionship of those who will remind you of your brilliance, for you are one of the kindest human to be. and you will be loved.

-nyx

NYX you can't be a real human you're like an angel sent to me, how are you the absolute sweetest person I've ever encountered;;;;;;;; ngl this actually made me cry u have no idea how much i needed these words :((( im actually at loss of what to say, i have so so so much love for you and your beautiful mind and your gentle heart, and i am so so lucky to have ur kindness be bestowed upon me :(((

i wish you a lovely, gentle year my nyx,, filled with warmth and love and the light that you seep in other's lives, i hope you are content with your existence and you find beauty and joy in the smallest things, i hope that waking up every day feels like a gift to you because you deserve it my love <333 thank you again I SERIOUSLY LOVE YOU SO MUCH