#i asked if i should censor their name and most people said no but someone said yea so i just did the url but not their icon. you can find it

[fullhalalalchemist]

🚨🚨🚨URGENT PLEASE READ AND REBLOG

dec 13, 2022

we literally have just a few days to act. the senate is debating about putting KOSA, the Kids Online Safety Act, into the omnibus spending bill. if it is added, it WILL pass. despite the title and content of the bill seeming to be about protecting kids, we know everytime someone claims they are "saving the children" they have more sinister goals

which is why Senator Blumenthal is working with one of the biggest transphobes in the senate, Marsha Blackburn, to force this bill through, and claiming they are listening to LGBT voices when they are blatantly ignoring us.

essentially this bill gives every state attorney generals the power to remove anything they deem 'harmful' to kids online. you can see how a state like Texas or Florida would run with that, yes? it also forces you to upload your government ID online to access the internet. the bill will create a 'commission' led by handpicked members of the govt to oversee what is and isn't allowed online. it will lead to mass censorship of anything related to race or LGBT content. in a post-Roe world too? say goodbye to any abortion/sex-related info.

they are doing a shit ton of PR for this, including claiming they are listening to LGBT voices. i mean just look.

two weeks ago, 90+ human rights, LGBT, and tech orgs signed onto an open letter telling Senators NOT to pass this bill. in response, over 230 orgs led by the American Psychological Association signed a letter urging senators to. it's really fucking bad. like i can't sleep because of this. i didn't expect this to happen. we really really need people to speak up.

if this bill goes through it will literally kill off the internet as we know it

sign the open letter and petitions against KOSA here

the best way to fight against this bill is to call these specific senators (if you have dem senators, call them too)

nancy pelosi (202) 225-4965 roger wicker (202) 224-6253 chuck schumer (202) 224-6542 maria cantwell (202) 224-3441

call script below:

For Wicker only:

I'm calling because I'm asking the Senator to vote no on KOSA S.3663 from being added to the omnibus and being put through the Senate. The re-released text of the bill is still not adequate enough, and it's being rushed. This bill does not belong in an omnibus anyway. As a Gen Z, I also want to protect kids. I've been there. But this language is not ready yet. It should not move forward at all.

Hello Senator __:

My name is _, and I strongly urge you to oppose the dangerously misguided KOSA bill from being added to the omnibus spending bill. Bills like this should not be included in spending bills. Over 90 human rights and LGBT organizations have spoken out against this bill.

KOSA gives state attorney generals full power to sue any website if they see it has anything that is “inappropriate for children”'. For the past year, Republicans claimed everything LGBT is “grooming” children and we ended up with a shooting in Colorado and bomb threats sent to hospitals, NO senator should support a bill with vague phrasing like this. Before that, they successful removed books on race due to "CRT". This gives them a pass to do this to the entire internet. KOSA will only lead to more harm towards minorities and LGBT youth across the nation by censoring everything online.

The Heritage Foundation said they will use KOSA to target LGBT kids, specifically trans kids. In a post-Roe world, they will even use KOSA to censor resources on abortion. Anything they dislike will be targeted.

A bill this huge and this impactful should not be added to any spending bill. Even if it was a small bill, it has nothing to do with the omnibus spending bill and shouldn't be added at ALL. It needs more time being discussed. There should be hearings on it as well

We all care about kids mental health. We all want to hold Big Tech accountable, but this is NOT it. This will give Big Tech more power while taking away resources from the most vulnerable children. It is not the solution.

Please, do NOT support this bill. Do the right thing, and VOTE NO on KOSA.

[firein-thesky]

Why is it that dc such as r@pe, sa, and incest is totally okay to write about and romanticize but y’all draw the line at racism, fat phobia, and homophobia *talking about the writings creators make, not personal beliefs*? Whats the difference between these things? All of them are hurtful and affect people in real life, so why is everybody on here choosing and picking one and not the other? Do writers on here think that they are not comparable or that one is okay to romanticize and the other is going way too far?

Im just genuinely curious as I have seen this topic be brought up again and again, which has made me realize this and Id like to see it from someone else's pov.

hi! there is a lot to answer and unpack here and i have every intention of doing so underneath the cut. forgive me if this gets long, but you’ve asked me 4 very massive questions that i think warrant detail, nuance, and thought. there is a lot i’d like to say here.

that being said, mind the content warnings and protect yourself.

cw: mentions of rape, incest, racism, homophobia, fat phobia, discourse in general

firstly, i am going to choose to give you the benefit of the doubt in assuming you are actually curious in hearing another side and you are not simply looking to stir a pot or pick a fight with beliefs you have no intention of changing or having an open discussion on. your accusatory tone in the first half indicates otherwise and kindly, i am not an idiot. but i want to earnestly talk to you about this and again, will think better of you than you perhaps have indicated you think of me.

secondly, you do not have to censor words like rape in my inbox. that sort of censorship has become wildly popular because of tik tok and other money-hungry social media that also desperately want to silence people. do you know why you have to censor words like that on tik tok? or words like genocide? suicide? racism? 1. so that they can make money and market and push their squeaky clean algorithms but 2. and perhaps worse, so they can silence victims. if social media platforms and capitalism and the systems of powers had it their way, you would never utter these words again—whether to call someone out for justice or to have an open discussion like this one. i encourage you greatly to think critically about this and how you choose to use censorship and why.

now, to your questions.

to preface, i am interpreting this ask as being anti-dark content in fiction as you state that ALL these subjects harm people in real life. or at least, you are being critical of all dark content in fiction and the way writers engage with them, effectively ‘picking and choosing’ which are deemed acceptable and which aren’t, when they are all hurtful. i apologize if that wasn’t your intention/what you believe, but regardless, i’ll endeavor to answer you.

i personally have drawn no lines about dark content nor spoken about any of these topics specifically really, which indicates to me you have a different narrative and/or are coming from more inflammatory arguments that are always circling fandom lately. in the post i most recently reblogged, i spoke mostly of violence. which, of course, all of those things can be. but i didn’t name one of those topics in particular.

regardless, i don’t believe in the censorship of any dark content in art, but rather advocate strongly for critical analysis on a case-by-case basis. in general, i encourage thinking critically about every aspect of the world around you.

i do not believe that rape, incest, and sa are okay to write about or create art about but racism, homophobia, and fat phobia are not. i believe all of those topics are ones that can, should, and will be explored in the safety of art. all to varying degrees of success, earnestness, impact, and intent. you’re right that these are real things, that can hurt people, and the fictional work about them can have impact on our society that is tangible but the actual art or fiction created is not real. and again, this is all to varying degrees on a case-by-case basis.

art and fiction also historically and massively do discuss these dark content topics and have actively swayed the public’s opinion on matters, whether for better or for worse. throwing away all dark content in art and fiction because it is ‘harmful’ is deeply, deeply dangerous and reductive. a lot of art that engages with dark content actually makes very succinct points about it—i think of vladimir nabokov’s lolita or octavia butler’s bloodchild or speak by laurie halse anderson.

this is where we must exorcise critical thinking. some pieces of work will handle dark content poorly—white saviors making art on racism. men making art about a woman’s experiences that (as you are so interested in) romanticize her pain. etc. etc. and some art will handle it’s dark content incredibly and be transformative, perhaps even revolutionary in how we talk, perceive, or acknowledge systems of oppression, violence, and dark content in this world. some dark content in fiction will have damaging beliefs and effects on society, some will not—we must also look at scope for this, at the writer perhaps, the historical moment, their audience etc.

(for example, there is a significant difference in a main stream male writer, writing of a woman’s experience with rape in a published book in a way that makes it sound romanticized, sold to thousands and thousands of general public vs. a woman using fanfic to explore rape, take control of it, or whatever in a fanfic for a small online community where there are warnings on it. indicating she is aware of its potential damage in a way her male counterpart is not…)

but i still believe in dark contents’ existence in art. of course there is differences between all of these topics you brought up, but i don’t think their differences matter in this answer. i believe in their right to be explored in art. i am talking broadly of media/art here, which i think is the more relevant conversation, but i think you are actually more interested in a much smaller scale of people. ie. fandom. ie. mostly marginalized people in small communities online writing and creating dark content.

people will choose and pick which ones they’d like to create art over and which ones they don’t, which ones they read and which ones they don’t. there’s no ‘hard line’ drawn anywhere. and i can’t control it and neither can you. perhaps you think violence is okay to be explored in fanfic, but racism isn’t. someone else will have different preferences. i do not believe in its censorship.

now, let’s move onto your interest in romanticization and what i think you are more pointing to, which is fandom. you are specifically referring to people in fandom who write about rape, incest, etc. and ‘romanticize’ it—ie. they write about it in a way that is a fantasy. it is perhaps supposed to be horny or sexy. so let’s talk about it.

i must remind you that these topics you’ve brought up (rape, incest, sa) being written are fiction and it is (most often) done by someone marginalized who has either experienced this or is in threat of experiencing this under a patriarchy. i assure you, they are aware of its harm. hence the copious warnings in fandom spaces.

if i can be candid, sometimes i think that people forget how systems of oppression work when discussing fandom and whether dark content being created should be allowed or not.

for example, i sometimes think people who are anti-dark content in fandom believe that a woman or afab person writing a fictional fanfic about rape or sexual violence then influences people to go out and rape people or that women actually like it. when the reality, in fandom spaces, is that rape and sexual violence happen frequently under the patriarchy and then these women in fandom write fictional fanfic in response to cope, explore, take control of, etc. etc.

to insinuate that women or afab people (which fandom mostly is) exploring dark content safely in fiction then causes their own oppression and harm or trauma is rather victim-blame-y to me. fandom exploring dark content does not cause these things to happen in our society….these actions (rape, incest, sa) happen in our society or systems of power and fandom reacts to them in their art by exploring it in dark content. do you understand what i’m trying to say?

it’s not a matter of what is ‘okay’ to romanticize and what isn’t. i do not think the romanticization that fandom does with dark content (ie. my kidnapper actually loves me! or this sexual act that i did not consent to…maybe feels good) is not actually romanticizing but coping because of the systems of power that i described above. and this can be coping with anything—shame of sexuality, shame of fantasies, trauma, fear, etc. etc.

as i said in my tags in that post i reblogged and as plato said, dark content in art is a safe place to explore what would otherwise be harmful and dangerous in real life. it is cathartic. potentially even, a purging.

and even if it isn’t all that—maybe it just is trashy fantasy. it is still playing pretend. it is still fiction and in fandom spaces, it is still most likely being created by a marginalized person. and again, even if it isn’t, we don’t get to censor it. we can be critical of it or wary or whatever, but to censor it, is a slippery, slippery slope. do deem some topics as “acceptable” and others as “unacceptable” is dangerous.

just like kids play pretend where they ‘fight’ or ‘kill’ or ‘kidnap’ or ‘shoot’ each other in games of cops and robbers or heroes and villains, they are safely exploring adventure, dark content, fantasy, tragedy, and higher emotions. adults can do the same in fiction and with adult topics like sex.

and at the end of the day, we don’t get to demand the credentials to do so either. we don’t get to censor them or control them and nor should we be allowed to. i cannot stress enough that i encourage you to be critical of censorship or the absolute disgust in dark content and at those (again—often marginalized people) who engage with it in fandom. i believe it is deeply puritanical, conservative, and dangerous.

you don’t have to like dark content or consume it at all and fandom makes it easy not to with all the warnings and tags, but you cannot control others or police them. nor should you want to.

and at the end of the day, i have some questions for you. you don’t have to respond to this, perhaps they’re just things to think about. what is the end goal here? what is the point in harassing, shaming, attacking, criticizing, or interrogating people in fandom spaces who create or support dark content? do you believe that if it is purged from fandom, it will be purged from our society? if you want it purged from society—shouldn’t you start there rather than in the inbox of marginalized writers in fandom? people in fandom did not create rape, incest, and sa nor do they in their exploration of fiction…they are merely reacting to a world that did create it.

i hope at no point i came off as rude to you, as was not my intention. i intended to stand up for myself and respectfully state my opinions and thoughts on this matter. i’m sorry it got long, but also i don’t believe in being brief on such complex matters. i am a writer who engages critically with the world around me and sometimes, things cannot be made into short, snappy answers. sometimes, we must unpack.

genuinely wishing you well.

[acesandwords]

So you've joined Tumblr with a brand new blank blog! And then you end up getting blocked by everyone you follow, why is that?

Tumblr has a bot problem - blank blogs look like bot accounts and most bots are porn bots that post malicious links and images or videos. I've seen some truly horrendous content because of these kinds of accounts as have most other users here.

How do you show that you're a person and not a bot? Pretty simple - find something you like and reblog it! Something you find funny, a piece of fan art, a nicely made gif set, whatever you want. Tumblr doesn't have an algorithm, you've got to look for content yourself. Upload a pfp and a banner image as well!

This is not tiktok. You should not be censoring yourself if you make your own post, tumblr isn't going to shadowban you for cursing.

Reblogging is not reposting - a reblog is always attached to the original account it was from I promise you are not stealing it. reblogging is the only way a post gets seen! It's similar to a retweet.

You can add to someone's reblog as well, maybe someone made a joke and you think of a pun to go with it. Or maybe they're sharing some cool facts and you happen to know some more related cool facts. Or maybe it's a wholesome post - someone said they're sad and asked to see people's pets, then it'll be a huge reblog chain of cute animals.

Liking posts - does nothing to elevate the post, it's not like Instagram or tiktok or youtube. Think of a like as a bookmark you can come back to later. It's still a kind thing to do, to say "hey this is a good post!" but it's not going to help someone looking to advertise their art or attempting to boost a gofundme.

Tagging - this one is a bit more complex in some ways. But for the basic common courtesy, use tags that relate to the posts' content. let's say it's from a specific fandom, you could tag the show name, the characters, a ship name, and so on. Another example, if you make a piece of artwork that contains depictions of blood/gore it's good to tag "blood tw" and "gore tw" (tw stands for trigger warning). Ultimately though? You can also just reblog without tagging, that's also fine it's up to you!

for a lot of us, it's used as a form of non-permanent commentary. It's kind of like a whisper. and sometimes if that whisper is funny or makes a good point people will screenshot it and add it to a reblog.

This website is a blogging platform that you can use however you want to with the exception of posting explicit content (This is potentially getting changed but we don't know yet). You could curate a blog with one specific thing or you can just reblog whatever the hell you want. Follower count doesn't matter here and cannot be seen by anyone but you so don't feel like you have to meet some weird criteria and maintain an audience.

Have fun and start reblogging!

[gwendaria]

PSA @jillvalentine (starsberet on twitter) is a serial harasser, stalker, and transphobe. they have consistently harassed & stalked me online since 2021 while regularly dead naming, misgendering and slandering me with transphobic hate speech.

I am putting some more info as well as screenshots & a video under the ‘read more’ and will add that there’s a content warning for transphobia + racism, as well as mentions of abuse and self-harm.

I spent years debating whether or not to come forward but have since been told that this person poses as an ally (aka says "I have trans friends!") whenever she is called out on her inherent transphobia. Seeing as I have an extended history of being harassed by this person and I have documented it extensively for my own safety I decided to come forward.

they present people with screenshots of conversations they had with someone via text/discord and claim it is me – while also claiming that I am their ‘ex-boyfriend’ -- when neither is true. beyond that they imply that they met me even though I live in another country and have never even been within 100 miles of them. Essentially this is someone who at one point followed me on twitter and some time after I came out as trans they said things that made me very uncomfortable, I blocked them and they began posting things about me as well as targeting me for harassment on enough occasions where their twitter account got temporarily suspended/locked.

I am putting some screenshots & a video here under the ‘read more’ and will add that there’s a content warning for transphobia + racism, as well as mentions of abuse and self-harm.

This (below) is the page they have primarily dedicated to listing my name (Guinevere/Gwen for short) and my dead name (J**dan) as well as a few names I'd tried before finding a name I liked in earlier transition + a few names of mutuals I had over the years that they accused of being me.

link here and screenshot below

this is when she was temporarily suspended on twitter because she had dead named me multiple times while saying that people like me (see: other trans people who she didn't like) should be "locked up and kept away from women"

this continued to be a consistent thing -- she'd tweet out my dead name, sometimes including my last name and vague descriptors of where I lived at the time. I'd step in to report the tweets and most of them would get flagged and land her with a temporarily locked account.

at another point someone who she asked to harass me sent me several graphic images of suicides (crime scene photos) and a ton of gore images. they did this when I was, at the time, on twitter tweeting about struggles I'd had with suicidal thoughts during early transition when I was not publicly out to everyone in my life. their last DM before their burner account got locked mentioned wanting to break into my house.

then there's this video of one of her twitter mutuals posting a video of her where the entire joke is that she is saying a racial slur.

I have a lot more documented but honestly I don't know what I am comfortable with sharing because a lot of it is centered around very personal & targeted attacks on me and my transition. I have maintained a very private life online since this harassment and similar harassment began when I was public about being trans. But I wanted to, at the very least, share this specific information.

I used to censor them when they called me a man but unfortunately they continued to harass me and my followers so I will not be giving them that benefit any longer. this was after they saw me say I related to YouTubers who got harassed. Because she was actively harassing me and having people send me graphic images.

This is NOT for people to go harass this person this IS for people to be able to protect their spaces & be aware of this person's behavior behind closed doors. They are NOT an ally no matter how many trans people they claim to follow on social media and they have spread an immense amount of needless hate.

[wc-confessions]

mods dont have to post this, i am just very angry right now. id understand if this is controversial. i just want someone to hear this.

i just got off of wcue. i was a spectating. there was someone in the clan named w//ndigowisp. i am not good at confrontation, but being a native who sees ca like this every day of my life (literally.) i had an urge to actually say something. this has been something that has bothered me for a very, very long time. it is extremely personal to me.

my friend and i approached them as kindly as possible to inform them about the issue with their name. i was gentle with my wording- i know not everyone knows about the weight behind it. i know some people do not do well with being confronted.

and instantly we were told that they "knew what they were doing," and that we were making them uncomfortable. my friend pointed out that i, a native, have to be uncomfortable with this almost all the time. we were told that it did not matter because it was fictional, even though cultural appropriation extends beyond warrior cats.

after they were told that i am a native, they started going on about how rude and mean i was being. it was at this point they were prioritizing their own comfort over respect for native culture.

the person with the name asked their friends if they could serverhop because they were getting anxious. one of their friends told me to die (through the euphemism "go to starclan") right before they left.

my friend left, but i did not. someone had politely asked for a little more elaboration after overhearing our conversation.

after that, someone brought their gaggle of friends over. 3-4 of them. they were telling me that they were cherokee, and that it was chronically online to be uncomfortable with this. all i had asked for was for them to respect native culture. i was told that i am stupid and sad for caring about this. i was told to 'let people enjoy things.' it is not just the name i am upset with. as i said before, cultural appropriation extends beyond warrior cats. ca is the last step of colonization.

you could argue that there are bigger issues. i agree. but there is nothing wrong with being uncomfortable with cultural appropriation (i cannot believe i have to say that), and you should not go after other natives for it. i did everything i could to be kind, but i am still painted as awful and mean.

i wish i could say wcue is not always like this. in my own personal experience, anti-indigenous racism runs rampant there. i have blocked most racists i see. my blocklist is almost full- roblox has a limit of 100 users. only about 10-20 are from before i started blocking them.

again, mods don't have to post this, but i am still very hurt and very angry. sorry for the long post. if, by any chance, any of those people see this- i am sorry, but i'm not going to swallow my discomfort and hurt for the sake of white comfort.

as someone who was raised to believe in the spirit in question, it IS disrespectful to be using the name - i was told from a young age to never speak the name of it due to its nature and how it will bring misfortune to both myself and my people (and because of this, i go out of my way to avoid using its name, even if censored)

i dont think these people realize that not all native americans share the same beliefs, either. there are very specific groups who believe in this spirit, primarily those of us who are from canada, the great lakes, and the appalachians (i don't believe the cherokee nation is a part of this particularly grouping, but correct me if im wrong!). that name should not have been used or even encouraged to be used. it reeks of a lack of respect for many native american cultures and cultural appropriation

having a complaint about that spirit's name being used is not "chronically online" - there is a very real and genuine belief that usage of the name will bring evil to you, and this belief has been around since before chr*st*pher c*lumbus even came to the americas. it feels like most people think "chronically online" means "bipoc bringing up racism" nowadays because they feel entitled to speak over us (as always)

i'm very sorry you had to deal with those people, anon. i myself would've been extremely paranoid about the encounter, and you have every right to be upset over what happened. i hope you are well

-mod ashensky

[agustdakasuga]

What Are You Doing Now? (Yoongi Oneshot)

Genre: Romance, angst, past relationships, oneshot

Pairing: Yoongi x reader

Characters: Idol!Yoongi, Ex!reader, Idol!Namjoon (Cameo)

Summary: Now that Yoongi has time to revisit his past, he can’t help but remember and think about the past he had with you. When he sees a glimpse of you one night, he thinks about what could have been and where it all went wrong. Mostly, he wonders what are you doing now.

The alarm ringing made Yoongi jolt. It was time for him to wake up. But was it considering waking up when he hadn’t slept. The entire night, he just laid on his side, in bed, body curled with his hands pressed between his knees. At first, he was just coming down from the adrenaline of the show but that blew over quickly, leaving him to wallow at the end.

With BTS announcing their temporary pause on group activities, Yoongi set off on creating his own schedule.

There was only one goal in mind: Finding his muse again.

He felt embarrassed for himself and to the fans. Having to admit that writing music didn’t come as easy to him anymore, that he didn’t see purpose and reason in spending nights at the Genius Lab anymore.

So he went back to his roots.

He went back underground and started participating in rap battles again. Surprisingly, not many people cared or minded that he was Suga from BTS. Ironically, they were more worried that their underground spots would be swarming with his fans that they voluntarily kept his identity a secret.

His new pseud nickname was ‘The Shooter’, known for his all black outfits, spit fire rap and jabbing lyrics.

Everyone in the rap scene, both rappers and supporters were very chill and it was easy for him to ease his way back into the underground scene.

Last night, just like any other show, Yoongi had an amazing time. Drinks were going around, rappers were having fun taking part in the fun performances on stage and all the supporters in the pit were cheering.

As he waited for his name to be called, Yoongi took a swig of whiskey, standing up and cracking his neck. Once his name was called, he could hear the crowd cheering for him. It wasn’t a night of competition, just one of having fun, people sharing the same passion for rap and music like him. Yoongi hadn’t genuinely smiled like this in a while.

“Shooter! Shooter! Shooter!” The crowd chanted as he began rapping. There weren’t any planned lyrics, it was all freestyle, something Yoongi missed the most. No need for censoring, age restriction or ‘safe’ lyrics.

As he vibed in support of the other rapper on stage, he scanned the crowd. But suddenly, Yoongi felt the wind get knocked out of him.

The person that stood right at the back, face barely visible, only the soft glow of a nearby exit sign helped Yoongi make out the person’s features only slightly.

He didn’t know if it was real, he wasn’t used to seeing the person so far back, not even looking at the stage. This wasn’t a usual mannerism. He was more used to seeing the person vibe in the front row, rather than chat with someone making the music more a background tune.

“Sorry, I need a break!” Yoongi bowed in apology and ran off the stage. No one minded, the other rappers happy to just have more of their verses in the performance. He pulled his headset off, tossing the mic aside.

“Yoongi? You good?” His manager asked.

“Y-Yeah. I need a drink.” Yoongi removed his managers hands from his shoulders and walked out. Instead of heading to the bar like he said, he went to the exit sign.

But you were gone. Yoongi scratched his head with a perplexed face. He let out a long sigh and headed to a bar.

“Whiskey. Neat.” He ordered, sliding onto the bar stool. Holding the patterned crystal glass by the rim, he took a sip and leaned his head against the back of his wrists, one hand steadily holding the glass.

Maybe this was a sign that he should just call it a night, the exhaustion hitting him and he was just seeing things. Yoongi finished the rest of his drink with one gulp and went to find his manager so he could go home. He ignored all the other people that tried to talk to him on the way to the van. Even the drive home was so quiet. Without even a goodbye, Yoongi jumped out of the van the moment it stopped at the driveway and headed to his apartment.

*BARK*

“Good evening, Holly.” Yoongi bent down to pat his head, running his fingers through the soft brown fur. Holly trotted after Yoongi, excited to just hop into bed with his owner.

There was only the sound of Holly’s footsteps and Yoongi’s house slippers shuffling around. Yoongi jumped into the shower first to get himself clean.

Leaning against the cool tiles of his shower stall, he thought back to what happened post breakup.

With ultimate secrecy, he even tried online dating. He was desperate to get rid of any thoughts in relation to him. There was something about his pride, having to show that he moved on first before you did. And some girls were really nice, coming from families that Yoongi’s mother would be excited to meet.

However, something about each of them was off.

It was too different and instead of focusing on how wonderful his date was, Yoongi found himself nitpicking at what she lacked. Not what she lacked as a person but what she lacked compared to you.

You were Yoongi’s person. The person that just clicked with him immediately and complemented his personality and mannerisms.

You had set the bar so high above the moon that Yoongi was never able to find anyone that could even come close.

After his shower, Yoongi poured himself another drink and headed to his bedroom for the night. Holly used the staircase to climb onto the big bed, curling right in the middle, meaning that Yoongi had to sleep at the side.

“Good boy.” Yoongi smiled softly, caressing Holly’s ear between his fingers. He took a seat at the small study desk in his room, it was only there in case he was lazy to head to his actual home studio. While he waited for his laptop to turn on, he scrolled on his phone, checking social media and messages from his group members.

‘New gaming set up! - Seokjin hyung’

‘Attachment: 1 image’

It was weird at first, not having all members living together. But Yoongi was glad for his own space. He could decorate it how he liked it, going for a minimalist look and do whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted.

‘Yoongi hyung! I hope your performance tonight went well! If you don’t mind, I sent you the new beats I was working with for track 4? There’s no rush but I would love to hear your opinion on it! - Jiminie’

Right, with the announcement of solo albums coming out, Yoongi was not only working on his own music but helping the others too.

Yoongi let out yet another sigh, this one full of despair. He rubbed his face with his hands in frustration, he hated that he had let you into his mind to invade his thoughts again.

*whimper*

“I’m alright, Holly ah.” Yoongi turned to the dog, who rested his head on his paws and looked up at his dad.

You loved Holly a lot and Holly loved you too. While he wasn’t known to be the best with strangers, just like his dad, Holly immediately took a liking to you. Your dream was to work with animals and Yoongi would never forget the way your eyes just lit up when you were with an animal.

You and Yoongi… You dated for so long that everyone thought you were going to get married.

You met when you were both 17, in high school. Yoongi went to an all boys school and you went to an all girls school but you met since you both take the same route home together.

As a kid, Yoongi was always teased about wanting to do music, even his family strongly disapproved of it. They always ended up arguing over how music is never a stable living, especially since Yoongi’s family struggled financially.

But you were the only one that supported him and his dreams. You listened to every lyric and tune that Yoongi put together.

When the first offer came, you encouraged Yoongi to take it. Every criticism, you worked through it with him. He knew he could trust you to tell him the truth and never hide anything from him.

Despite the financial struggle, Yoongi still pushed on, thanks to you. He promised to marry you, even going as far to plan out the house that you would live in together, the design mirroring the current apartment that he stayed in quite a bit. The first sign of success was when he was offered a contract by Big Hit Entertainment after placing second in a competition.

“Should I do song writing or rap?” Yoongi chewed on his bottom lip as he stared at the sign up sheet.

“Wanna flip a coin?” You offered.

“Aegi… This is serious.” Yoongi gave you a flat look. You threw your head back with laughter, reaching out to cup your boyfriend’s cheeks, positioning his head up so that it faced you. 

“Listen, Min Yoongi. You got this, alright? Whether you wanna rap, write music or split an atom, heck even if you wanna fly! Go for it!” You grinned.

“Come here, you.” Yoongi softened, wrapping his arms around your waist to pull you onto his lap.

“Whatever happens, I’ll make sure to work hard and let you live the best life you could ever have, okay? Even if I have to fight my way to make it to the top, I will.” He pressed his forehead against your cheek to hold you close.

“And I’ll be there too. Fighting with you. Watch my technique.” You did mini punches with your fists.

“Yeah, you’ll definitely scare them off.” Yoongi chuckled, watching you with adoration. You weren’t usually this childish and playful, he knew you were just acting like that so he wouldn’t be so stressed and it really worked. Being with you made him feel calmer.

“Yeah so don’t mess with me! That includes you too, Min Yoongi. I’ll beat you up if I have to.” You huffed with a frown. Yoongi laughed so hard that the laughs escaping him were silent. 

“I wouldn’t dare.” 

“I’ll buy you a big house, you can decorate it how you’d like and we’ll have as many animals as you’d like.” Yoongi smiled softly. 

“Do you really mean that? Because be prepared for me to bring home different animals to take care of and nurse through the night.” You warned with a chuckle. Yoongi tucked a stray hair behind your ears.

“I’ll even stay up with you to keep watch.” He promised. 

Yoongi fell back against the back rest of his chair, staring into space while he head pressed against the head rest. He wondered if you really got the job you wanted and are living the life that you dreamt of. The both of you were so sure that by now, you would be in a home of your own together, just enjoying your lives together.

This proved to make it hard to be productive. So Yoongi headed to bed. He didn’t sleep, his mind too busy running wild. Even talking to ARMY on Weverse wasn’t enough. That emptiness in his chest was back after so many years. 

When Yoongi’s alarm rang the following morning, he got up to feed Holly first. He wasn’t hungry so he didn’t need breakfast. 

Sitting at his kitchen island with a big cup of iced americano, he called Namjoon over to his house. 

“Hey, hyung.” Namjoon removed his shoes as he entered.

“Hey. Thanks for coming, Namjoon ah.” Yoongi forced a smile. Honestly, Yoongi didn't know why he called Namjoon over. Maybe he felt that someone being around would take his mind off of you. 

He made Namjoon a coffee as well, the both of them chilling in Yoongi’s living room with soft rap music playing in the background. 

“I saw her last night... She was at the show I was performing at. It’s been a few years and she still looks the same.” Yoongi said, looking down at the cup in his hands. Namjoon would know what Yoongi is talking about. After all, you became best friends with Namjoon after getting together with Yoongi.

“I see...” Namjoon didn’t really know what to say. Yoongi knew why. It was because Namjoon was still in contact with you. Despite breaking up with Yoongi, you were on good terms with Namjoon. 

“I know you’re still talking to her and that you follow her on your other social media account.” Yoongi cleared his throat. 

“You’re right. But do you really want to know, hyung?” Namjoon was uncertain.

“After seeing her last night, I just need to know how she is. And what she’s up to now.” Yoongi confessed. Maybe knowing how you were doing would calm him down and he could move on again.

“Fine. Here.” Namjoon handed you his phone with your social media page on it. Yoongi was careful with the scrolling, not wanting to accidentally like a picture. 

“She’s working as a vet nurse now. And volunteers at an animal rehabilitation centre...” Namjoon explained as Yoongi came upon a photo of you cuddled with a baby penguin.

“She achieved her dream... She actually did it, huh?” Yoongi didn’t even realise the proud smile he had on his face as he heard Namjoon’s words about you. Just like him, you had achieved your dream. The both of you made it to the future that you wanted for yourselves. While you were working with animals, he was successfully writing music. 

“We don’t chat all the time with our busy schedules but she asks about you from time to time. She’s happy that we made it, that you achieved your dream as well. She’s really happy for you, hyung.” Namjoon said softly. 

“She asks about me?” Yoongi blinked in confusion. Namjoon nodded his head. 

Honestly, Yoongi didn’t know why he didn’t contact you. You didn’t exactly part on bad terms. The both of you grew apart and things just weren’t healthy anymore, there wasn’t any communication.

But as you parted, you told Yoongi that he could always call you and that you would still always be supporting him no matter what. 

Yoongi did contemplate calling you. Maybe remaining friends was a possibility but Yoongi couldn’t bring himself to call you. What if you were just saying it to be nice? 

Did you want him to call in the first place? 

If you really wanted to talk to him again, you would have called him right? Instead of waiting for him to call you. 

However, now you were both living in that ideal future that you both dreamt about. The only thing that was missing was your plans of still being together, sharing many new firsts as a couple, maybe even getting married and starting a family of your own at this age. 

Your dreams and aspirations of success didn’t seem so far anymore, it didn’t feel like something out of reach or a fantasy anymore. The both of you had been through a lot, as a couple and as individuals. 

Maybe now was the time to put that in the past and start anew again. 

“Did she... move on?” Yoongi asked. He knew that you were pretty and in the years that he dated you, you had many suitors. It wouldn’t be surprising if you have a new partner.

“She-” 

“You know what? I don’t want to know. Don’t tell me. I shouldn’t even be caring about that.” Yoongi cut the younger off with a wave. 

After a couple of drinks and some takeout lunch, Namjoon left. He was needed at the studio to go through the new tracks for Taehyung’s solo album. Yoongi laid on his bed. He regretted not letting Namjoon reply whether you were attached now. It was going to eat at him until he knew. 

He needed to find a way to speak to you. Turning in his chair, he scratched his head as he faced his computer screen. Would it be weird if he appeared at your work? It definitely would. 

“You do it, Holly. You call your mum.” Yoongi put the phone in front of the poodle, who took his toy and turned around, ignoring his dad. 

Over the next few days, Yoongi tried to distract himself, going back to the underground performances, producing music for his upcoming solo album and helping the other members with their own music production. 

“Good work today.” Yoongi said to Jimin.

“Thanks, hyung.” Jimin grinned with a wave and left the studio. Just as the door closed, Yoongi’s phone beeped on his desk. 

‘Coincidentally, hyung. Jungkook took Bam to the vet and guess who’s in the neighbourhood for her rotation. He bumped into her as she was clocking out. - Namjoon’

‘Attachment: 1 image’

Yoongi’s eyes widened at the image from that Jungkook sent to Namjoon and was subsequently sent to him. Jungkook was seen posing with you, hugging Bam. You were smiling happily, dressed casual but stylish, the same style you and Yoongi always had. You were wearing an old shirt, tied to make it more fitting and skinny jeans. 

That ‘old shirt’ you wore, Yoongi couldn’t believe that you still kept it, much less wore it out. It was Yoongi’s shirt that you stole from him. There was a lot of significance in it. 

Prior to debut, Yoongi couldn’t afford branded clothes. This was the first branded shirt he wore. You had found it and taken ownership of it.

“Jagi, where’s the-” Yoongi stopped at the bedroom door just as you pulled the shirt over your head.

“Where did you find this?” Yoongi came forward, bending down. His fingers grabbed the edge of the sleeve, a soft smile on his face.

“I was looking for my skirt and found it. I’ve never seen you wearing this before and judging by your reaction, you haven’t seen it in a bit? It seems old and faded.” You asked. 

“Oh, I didn’t tell you when I got it. But this was the first branded shirt I bought when I saved enough money from producing. I thought I lost it somewhere but I’m glad you found it. I don’t wear it anymore but it’s nice to have as a memory.” Yoongi patted your head. 

“I should remove it then.” You moved to pull the shirt over your head but Yoongi stopped you by grabbing your wrists.

“No, aegi. It looks good on you. You should keep it.” He chuckled. 

“Really?” 

“Of course. You look cute.” Yoongi chuckled. The shirt was so big that you were practically swimming in it. But in Yoongi’s eyes, only you could look so cute in such an old shirt. 

“Let me see.” Yoongi pulled you to stand up. The shirt was a dress on you but you made it work, of course. He sat on the bed, wrapping his arms around your waist. You placed your hands on his head as he leaned against your abdomen.

“I didn’t think you would be the sentimental type, Yoon.” You teased with a giggle. This was the man that said he never wants to re-produce the same song, that he has no regrets for any content that he has ever put out and that you should only be looking at the future, never the past. It was surprising that he kept this shirt.

“You’re right, I’m not sure why I kept it too. I guess that’s why I’m not so fussed about you having it.” He looked up at you. 

Yoongi smiled fondly at the memory. Thanks to you, he was able to find such joy in even the most mundane moments. You always found a way to brighten up any room that you walked into and make people smile. 

Ever since you started dating, he was the silent affectionate kind of guy. You were fine with that, you loved Yoongi for Yoongi. You didn’t want or need him to change. 

But with being having silent affection, that also meant Yoongi was used to hiding his emotions instead of sharing and discussing them. 

After so many years of your relationship, you felt your relationship growing distant. Even the smallest communication you had was gone and the both of you were growing incessantly frustrated with each other. 

“Why didn’t you tell me you were taking Holly with you?” Yoongi asked on the phone, frowning when he came home to find the house dark and empty. There was no sign of you or the brown poodle anywhere. He heard you let out a soft sigh and apology to whoever you were with.

“Hang on. Let me get out of the study hall.” You said to Yoongi. Yoongi waited quietly, the frown still on his face as he tapped his foot against the ground.

“I needed to go for study hall so I brought Holly with me. Don’t worry, he’s fine and well taken care of.” You spoke calmly.

“You still shouldn’t have just taken him without telling me.” 

“Yoongi, I honestly didn’t even know if you were coming home tonight. Holly and I haven’t seen you in a week. I took him with me for the night so he wouldn’t be alone.” You finally approached the sensitive topic.

“Why do you have to say it like that? You know I’m busy with this comeback and the extra producing jobs.” Yoongi sighed.

“I know... Yoongi. I understand, you know I do... But try to understand it from my point of view too. How many nights I wait up, not sure if you’re having dinner or even coming home to sleep. You don’t answer your phone, no updates, nothing. When was the last time we even saw each other in the flesh? Much less, talked on the phone like this.” You sighed. 

“You know I can take care of myself. It’s not like something is going to happen to me at the studio.” 

“Look, I have to go. We’ll talk soon. There’s leftovers in the fridge you can heat up if you’re hungry.” You didn’t want to argue with him, you wanted to leave this call as soon as possible. 

“Where are you now? Why are you even staying out the entire night?” Yoongi asked before you had the chance to hang up on him.

“I told you, I have a major presentation to do and an exam to study for. Plus, I’m more productive in school, where my professors and classmates are. I’ll be home tomorrow and I promise we’ll talk then.” You replied.

“I’m coming to get you now.” 

“No, Yoongi. Just stay home and sleep, I’ll be home tomorrow morning.” You were just exhausted with this conversation. 

After you hung up, Yoongi went to check the calendar on your desk. His eyes widened, the exam you were studying for wasn’t an ordinary exam. It was your vetenarian medicine placement exam, the most important one. Now he felt bad, he didn’t have the guts to face you now. 

You had returned home the next morning, even making sure to come home earlier because you felt bad for leaving the conversation with Yoongi. But even at 6am, the house was empty. Holly trotted in and around the apartment.

“Guess he’s busy, huh?” You sighed, scratching Holly’s head. 

And this was just the beginning of your fights with Yoongi. All the fights that were left in the air with no chance for you to talk it out with him, plus you saw each other less and less. 

In the end, you decided that it wasn’t healthy for you to continue this. You both parted unwillingly and in tears but it was ‘for the best’.

-

You waved to the last patient that walked out before returning back to the nurses’ station. Yawning, you stretched your arms over your head. 

“Heading home for the night?” 

“I’ll just do one more round before handing over to the night shift. Have a nice night, doctor.” You smiled. The doctor nodded and waved before leaving. Grabbing the clipboard from the box, you went to the cages where the animals that were hospitalised were resting. You did the routine checks on them. Just as you were finished, the team for the night shift came in. 

“Good work today!” They smiled as they took over from you. 

“Thank you. Have a nice night.” You wished. Going to the locker room, you grabbed your bag. You smiled softly at the small picture of Holly you hung up in your locker. 

“Hope you’re doing well.” You chuckled at the photo. Before heading off, you went to the main back area.

“Suga, time to go home.” You reached in to gently lift the sleeping kitten. The white feline opened his eyes, leaning into the warmth of your touch.

“Let’s go home.” You carried him in your arms. This kitten was new, it was a rescue that a good samaritan brought to the clinic. For some reason, his mannerisms just reminded you of your ex boyfriend. 

You couldn’t help but be drawn to him that you adopted him, even naming him Suga. He followed you into work because his health still wasn’t 100% and you needed to check on him every now and then. Also, the doctors assisted you in making sure he was checked up on and vaccinated. 

“Sleepy boy.” You smiled endearingly. After bidding everyone goodbye, you checked your messages that you received during the day while you couldn’t be on your phone.

‘Hey. I know it’s been a while... How are you?- Yoongi’

You weren’t expecting the sudden message from your ex boyfriend. You hadn’t spoken to him since the break up. 

‘Hey, sorry for replying so late. I’m good, Yoongi. What about you? - (y/n)’

‘Glad to hear, Jungkook told me he saw you when he took Bam to the vet. But Bangtan’s taking some time off. We’re doing some solo albums and performances now. - Yoongi’

‘I heard. I’m glad, you all deserve a break. - (y/n)’

‘I actually wanted to ask you... - Yoongi’

‘Ask me? - (y/n)’

‘I’ve been thinking a lot about everything... you, me, whatever happened... You didn’t deserve that, (y/n). We should have communicated and talked things out instead of hiding it. Maybe we will never get back to what we used to be. Even if we have to start all over again, right from the start of everything. I think we can work it out. - Yoongi’

‘You’re right, Yoongi. We were getting frustrated but unable to tell each other. As promising as it sounds, do you think we can really make things work again? - (y/n)’

‘I do. I still love you. - Yoongi’

‘Honestly, I don’t know how I feel. Maybe there’s still love there but there’s still hurt too. - (y/n)’

‘It’s okay. Let’s not get too far and just talk things out, you don’t have to make a decision on anything now. Maybe talking will bring you some clarity on what you feel.  Even if at the end, things still aren’t meant to be. At least this will be the closure we need. - Yoongi’

‘Alright. - (y/n)’

‘What are you doing now? - Yoongi’

~~

Ko-fi

Masterlist

Tag List 1

@veronawrites @diamonddia-mond @georgie-me-myself-i @nlost21@aqueenieme @nello-rie @ireallylikeyourwriting @imascreamerbabymakemeamute @kimahnjung98 @kimmieloveswho @aianloveseven @pb-n-juju @myggummy @baby-noodles @bt21chim @cait-with-luv @limiworld @321clockworkangels @greezenini @min-tata @interactive-brain @bbgniecyy @dreamingofonceuponatime @black-rose-29 @wordsaremyswords @shmaptainbonky @ifellinluvwithdorks @rae-sparda @yeontanismypresident @loisje123 @bordxrcarnival @mamemimoimoi @skyys-universe @carolinexkpop @vishakhas-world @biofain @f3rsispot @danny-boy27 @ithtefani @marvelovernfan @duhitzronalyn @lovelyloverlia @bbyjoonies @yoongisbbygirl06 @cuteipat @nerdsummeroldie @vintageroses10 @needyomnivore​ @rjsmochii​

[aspd-culture]

Hi all, welcome to ASPD-Culture. You can find the DSM-V TR's diagnostic criteria for ASPD at the bottom of this post.

Here's how it works! You can use asks or submissions (on or off anon, asks allow for anon while submissions don't for those who don't know), to submit things you either are struggling with as someone with ASPD, or that you think others with ASPD would find relatable. These can be serious, meme-y, or somewhere in-between. It's ok if it applies to other disorders too, as long as it relates to antisocial personality disorder/the symptoms and associated traits of ASPD.

Send as many ask you like, I am not afraid of a full inbox. Do not feel like you're bugging me; I thrive on the attention and validation of the inbox full of asks. 😈

I welcome questions, vents, confessions, and personal submissions as well as more general ones! I cannot accept anything that would cause anyone legal trouble to say anonymously or otherwise, and please no names unless they are fictional/celebrities; you can use the first letter if you want tho!

Please note that fakeclaiming/ableism against "edgy teens" is not welcome here. This blog is pro well-researched self dx, and is not interested in guessing who may/may not be faking. Submissions will be taken in the good-faith assumption that you are being legitimate.

That said, ableist submissions will be removed and not posted. Waste your time if you want, *shrug*. Also, this blog is not the place for nt people or people with other disorders to complain about ASPD, though they *are* welcome to submit questions/asks in good faith as long as you aren't complaining about pwASPD or intentionally being ableist. If you aren't sure if something is ableist, you're welcome to ask my opinion on that, though I'm only one pwASPD so I'm not an authority. People with ASPD are welcome to vent frustrations about their own disorder, as well as how having ASPD may cause conflict with others with this/other disorders and/or frustrations about dealing with pwoASPD as someone who has it. We have to mask our frustrations with prosocials everywhere else in life - please feel free to be open about them here. Prosocials please try not to feel attacked by these, they're just vents likely being used to make sure we don't say anything hurtful irl.

Being that ASPD can have violent thoughts as a symptom, non-targetted posts about violent thoughts are ok, and will be posted with appropriate tws. If I miss any tw, please let me know and I will add it asap. Because of this, you don't need to add tws in the submissions unless you want to. That said, please be aware of the type of text-based content you may see on this blog. It's ok to block, unfollow, etc if you need to. Words like ps**hopath and soc**path may or may not be censored, but they will be tw tagged (tw psychopath and tw sociopath respectively, as well as tw aspd stigma), so if you reclaim those terms that's ok, but be aware I will tw them.

I think that about sums it up! Ask/submit away!

A quick shoutout - I was inspired by @cluster-b-culture-is because I love their content, but I found myself wishing there was one just for ASPD especially with the recent rise of acceptance for BPD but not the other cluster b's (to be clear tho, cluster-b-culture-is does not support stigma against any sort of elitism within the community, and is a great blog that you should follow if you like their content!).

Edit: Here is the diagnostic criteria for ASPD as of the most current DSM (DSM-V TR), quoted directly. Please note there are diagnostic features, development "criteria" (things that cause the disorder to develop), and presentation/associated features to think about as well. You cannot diagnose solely off of having 3/7 of the following criteria, but 3/7 is all you need in combination with meeting the other stuff to have ASPD. This should help steer away ableist additions that people constantly try to make to the criteria.

Plain text below the cut:

Hi all, welcome to ASPD-Culture. You can find the DSM-V TR's diagnostic criteria for ASPD at the bottom of this post.

Here's how it works! You can use asks or submissions (on or off anon, asks allow for anon while submissions don't for those who don't know), to submit things you either are struggling with as someone with ASPD, or that you think others with ASPD would find relatable. These can be serious, meme-y, or somewhere in-between. It's ok if it applies to other disorders too, as long as it relates to antisocial personality disorder/the symptoms and associated traits of ASPD.

Send as many ask you like, I am not afraid of a full inbox. Do not feel like you're bugging me; I thrive on the attention and validation of the inbox full of asks. [Smiling devil face emoji]

I welcome questions, vents, confessions, and personal submissions as well as more general ones! I cannot accept anything that would cause anyone legal trouble to say anonymously or otherwise, and please no names unless they are fictional/celebrities; you can use the first letter if you want tho!

Please note that fakeclaiming/ableism against "edgy teens" is not welcome here. This blog is pro well-researched self dx, and is not interested in guessing who may/may not be faking. Submissions will be taken in the good-faith assumption that you are being legitimate.

That said, ableist submissions will be removed and not posted. Waste your time if you want, *shrug*. Also, this blog is not the place for nt people or people with other disorders to complain about ASPD, though they *are* welcome to submit questions/asks in good faith as long as you aren't complaining about pwASPD or intentionally being ableist. If you aren't sure if something is ableist, you're welcome to ask my opinion on that, though I'm only one pwASPD so I'm not an authority. People with ASPD are welcome to vent frustrations about their own disorder, as well as how having ASPD may cause conflict with others with this/other disorders and/or frustrations about dealing with pwoASPD as someone who has it. We have to mask our frustrations with prosocials everywhere else in life - please feel free to be open about them here. Prosocials please try not to feel attacked by these, they're just vents likely being used to make sure we don't say anything hurtful irl.

Being that ASPD can have violent thoughts as a symptom, non-targetted posts about violent thoughts are ok, and will be posted with appropriate tws. If I miss any tw, please let me know and I will add it asap. Because of this, you don't need to add tws in the submissions unless you want to. That said, please be aware of the type of text-based content you may see on this blog. It's ok to block, unfollow, etc if you need to. Words like ps**hopath and soc**path may or may not be censored, but they will be tw tagged (tw psychopath and tw sociopath respectively, as well as tw aspd stigma), so if you reclaim those terms that's ok, but be aware I will tw them.

I think that about sums it up! Ask/submit away!

A quick shoutout - I was inspired by cluster-b-culture-is because I love their content, but I found myself wishing there was one just for ASPD especially with the recent rise of acceptance for BPD but not the other cluster b's (to be clear tho, cluster-b-culture-is does not support stigma against any sort of elitism within the community, and is a great blog that you should follow if you like their content!).

Edit: Here is the diagnostic criteria for ASPD as of the most current DSM (DSM-V TR), quoted directly. Please note there are diagnostic features, development "criteria" (things that cause the disorder to develop), and presentation/associated features to think about as well. You cannot diagnose solely off of having 3/7 of the following criteria, but 3/7 is all you need in combination with meeting the other stuff to have ASPD. This should help steer away ableist additions that people constantly try to make to the criteria.

[Transcription of the image included] A screenshot of the Diagnostic Criteria for Antisocial Personality Disorder (code F60.2) quoted directly out of the DSM-V TR.

Criterion A.) A pervasive pattern of disregard for and violation of the rights of others, occuring since age 15 years as indicated by 3 (or more) of the following.

Subcriterion 1.) Failure to conform to social norms with respect to lawful behaviors, as indicated by repeatedly performing acts that are grounds for arrest.

Subcriterion 2.) Deceitulness, as indicated by repeated lying, use of aliases, or conning others for personal profit or pleasure.

Subcriterion 3.) Impulsivity or failure to plan ahead.

Subcriterion 4.) Irritability and aggressiveness, as indicated by repeated physical fights and assaults.

Subcriterion 5.) Reckless disregard for safety of self or others.

Subcriterion 6.) Consistent irresponsibility, as indicated by repeated failure to sustain consistent work behavior or honor financial obligations.

Subcriterion 7.) Lack of remors, as indicated by being indifferent to or rationalizing having hurt, mistreated, or stolen from another.

Criterion B.) The individual is at least age 18 years.

Criterion C.) There is evidence of conduct disorder with onset before age 15 years.

Criterion D.) The occurrence of antisocial behavior is not exclusively during the course of schizophrenia or bipolar disorder. [End transcription of image]

[pondscummy]

the "also sick" comment isn't like "btw I'm SICK, how dare you not know" it's me saying I'm sick like how 2/3 of my roommates are

but like I'm so;;;; it feels so rich that L is like wtf do you want from me about me not replying for 45 minutes when I had to beg his gf over hours and hours of texts every so often to not force me to sit in unwiped shit after my surgery bc she had openly told me she just didn't rly feel like setting up the attachable bidet after telling me for weeks she would, and I never ever got a reply from her or L ever acknowledging that they were wide awake hanging out and laughing while I was like stuck in bed barely able to move begging for follow through on a commitment they made in advance and i eventually had to spend over $100 to hire someone to come out the next day and do it for me and I had to hold my shit for hours lmfao

like L is sooooo great at couching things in flawless tumblr wellness speak but only to talk about how valid they are for not showing up for you and how fucked up it is that you MIGHT ever have a moment where you can't be 100% there w them. like idk what to tell you I've been laying in bed with a sore throat and cough and fever passing out and waking up to roll over in buckets of sweat like the rest of the house. I do genuinely get being annoyed by a lack of response but it's also right back to this whole thing about Always assuming I'm mad at them which is legit one of the only things that actually makes me mad fjdkddhk like bro I do not THINK about you when you're not acting like I'm a bomb about to blow (also, as an aside -- we all take turns buying TP and it's usually me who does it like it's not out of pocket for me to say hey you are the One person who is out of the house already rn, can you get this on your way bc None of the bathrooms have back up rolls and one is totally out and I had to text our sickest roommate telling her to use the bidet and drip dry like.... "am I the first person you asked" yes bc you are the person who makes the most sense dumbfuck. I'm not being "overly needy" toward you or whatever jfc)

they literally told me at one point that the reason they're so scared of me is that my face is "triggering" for them when I'm angry or not feeling good and puts them "back in a really bad place" they have seen my face angry literally 3 times and each time it was on my way back to my room to decompress and each time I said nothing to them other than that I was in a bad mood and I was going to go to my room. I didn't yell either I just said it normal. like I genuinely feel gaslit here like I'm this horrifying monster of a man when it's like dude sometimes people are mad I don't know what YOU want from ME!! I do all my venting here where they can't ever see it even tho we've blocked each other, I censor their name like anyone even knows who they are, I isolate to chill out and it's literally been less than a handful of times like should I fling myself from the roof??????? would that fix it???

I literally know it's bc I'm a man too. none of this was like this until my facial hair came in more and it got crazy worse after I got top surgery and they're so so vocal about how much they despise men and think men should all fuck off and die and there's only a handful of acceptable men that they've personally vetted. despite them pretty clearly having a trans woman fetish bc they only date or look at porn of trans women and they do the whole step on me mommy thing about it even tho their gf has complained like. lmfao you're just a baby te//rf even tho you ID as trans masc yourself. like that's all this even is. I'm a big (5'3") scary (spent the whole weekend w my coworkers asking if I was 12) man who's obviously going to snap and kill you all bc sometimes I *checks writing on hand* get frustrated and go lay down about it

[toniyx]

meeyow!!! hello there, I'm Tonix, this is my secondary account lol. I'm mainly an artist, but I may write some headcanons from time to time.

I'm gonna post my lazier stuff, more explicit stuff, & thoughts here so look out for that

fandoms:

- Transformers 👾🚓

- Hazbin Hotel 🌹👁️‍🗨️

- Portal/Half-Life 🧡💙

- The Stanley Parable 〽️🪣

- ULTRAKILL 🩸🪽

- Ace Attorney ⚖️✒️

- Wolvesville 🐺🏘️

(this list will get updated as time goes on)

stuff I do :

- digital & traditional art

- animation sometimes

- OCs

- roleplay

- sometimes little headcanons and stuff???

- idk there's not much else, if you're a mutual ask for art if you want, usually just gonna be sketches

- I do commissions so if you ever want one of those yeah, reduced price for friends/mutuals

content warnings, DNI, and blog rules below, please read. (separate rules for headcanons/writing requests are here)

CWs:

- bugs, either talked about or posted about, I love bugs (probably won't TW this past here so, heed my warning)

- violence, guns/knives, potential talk of cannibalism, occasional dark jokes/comedic violence, etc. (text stuff might not be tagged, but gore art will most likely be tagged as #gore art, #robogore and/or #gore)

- possible mention of drugs; all will be censored, won't go into anything crazy

- bright colors/very saturated art (will be tagged & probably put under a cut. block #bright colors and #neon if you don't want to see any of this)

- maybe some NSFT lol (will tag either #suggestive or #nsft)

- I may ramble and get annoying

DNI:

- under 18, sorry pals. feel free to interact on my main account tho!

- super religious blogs (excluding fandoms obv)

- on that same note, super political blogs

- anyone toxic or looking to start drama

- not really a DNI, but I'm aromantic, keep that in mind while talking to me and don't push your luck

- AI art users

- proshippers

- "don't support X creator"/"did you know that X said Y about Z" fellas, again, no unnecessary drama here please

blog rules:

- don't repost my art anywhere else, even with credit given. ask me directly before using as a PFP/banner/etc., but using as wallpaper is fine so long as you don't share it. (note: sharing a link to one of my posts somewhere is absolutely fine)

- do not use my art for your own OCs; inspiration is totally fine but if you're just snagging my stuff just... no, man, no

- generally don't request art unless you're a mutual, but if you're really polite about it or give an idea that I really like I may draw you something

- asks may be deleted without warning and without telling you. if you did something that upset me I'll try to reach out and tell you the first few times, but past that you're blocked, yada yada yada.

and lastly, this is totally gonna be a repeat, but here's my biggest rule of all: absolutely no drama here. be dramatic about anonymous people all you want, but no-one you could identify by looking them up. this is also not your place to complain/nitpick about something that someone else on here (namely I) might like.

cancel culture is a huge no-no here. people are people; people make mistakes and have shitty opinions. unless they were convicted of a crime, I don't wanna hear about whose content I should/shouldn't enjoy.

[ashley-slashley]

Holy Diver

Chapters: 1, 2, 3

Summary: POV: you have a crush on a catholic priest having a crisis of faith

Rating: M/Mature

Warnings: cussing, heresy, very long paragraphs

A/N: I’m definitely going to hell for this one. I’m blaming William Peter Blatty, William Friedkin, and Jason Miller for making Damien Karras a very loveable and friend shaped character. If you’re not cool with the idea of sleeping with a grief stricken and religiously challenged Catholic priest, I understand, and I highly recommend you not read this fic. I’m taking some creative liberties with both the exact time of year the movie is set as well as the map of the area the movie is set in. If someone is thinking “well actually” about this, you’re having redditor thoughts about a smut. What are you doing with your life?

Chapter 3: me, myself, my bullshit, and a man that society says is unfuckable

Who in the fuck calls at this hou-oh. How is it 2:30 pm?! “Hello?” I try to not sound rude on the phone, “I wasn’t given a name, but I was given this number in the offering plate today during mass.” a kind and curious voice was audible through the phone. They fucking did it. “I’m incredibly sorry father, a friend of mine thought it would be really funny to put my number into the collection plate.”, he asked where my friend would get an idea like that. How do I tell a priest that I’m going to jump out a window in embarrassment? “My friends are really”, I paused, holding in my want to use an expletive, “annoying. Please excuse their”, can’t say bullshit in this context, “nonsense.”

He asked if I was ok considering the pauses I was taking to calculate my words, well, he’s already heard my bullshit at the bar. “To put it frankly, I’m censoring myself so I don’t accidentally spew heresy in your presence. Before you ask, I wasn’t raised Catholic, I just know there’s some things you can’t say in front of a priest”, “I actually was put through medical school and trained in psychiatry through the society of Jesus” he explained. I fucking lost it, he probably thinks I’m having a mental breakdown or a Satanist if I’m laughing at that, I should explain. “I am so fuckin’ sorry, man, whenever someone says the word society, I can’t take the subject matter seriously. I have no idea why.” I rambled, aw shit, I said ‘fuck’ in front of a priest. I’m already going to Hell, might as well take the fastest route possible.

I heard a noise I didn’t expect - a giggle. He’s laughing, I laughed at something about him, and he’s laughing. “Why did your friend put your number in the offering plate. If it makes you feel more at ease, you can think of me as a psychiatrist.” Damien assured me. I asked if he remembered those women at the bar who were laughing and someone mentioned killing themselves and then they went to the restroom together, he asked if that was my friends and I. I explained that no we weren’t drunk or high, we’re just - weird, and no, none of us actually wanted to kill ourselves, I’m just an edgy bastard. Things you don’t say to a priest or a psychiatrist, well, at least he doesn’t know I would accept his company in bed. I heard another snicker, are you fucking kidding right now? This dude, I swear to god. What next is he going to ask, “would you want to meet up at that bar today or this evening?” goddammit, he must be a telepath. I accepted his offer, I can already hear my friends giggling and making stupid remarks about this.

Unlike other people in my situation, I’m not going to dress up in a figure hugging outfit and show off my physique as well as wearing the most uncomfortable shoes solely because they make my legs look better and add sex appeal to my appearance. I don’t have time for that shit, nor do I feel comfortable in that attire, I like to look shapeless and ominous, thank you very much. Besides, you look at the weather and tell me it’s appropriate to look like a generic centerfold you find in a smut magazine. It’s like in the lower thirties outside, though dying of frostbite and hypothermia might get me out of meeting with a certain priest, I don’t think he’d appreciate that. Donning an appropriate layering of clothes, I make my trek to the same bar from last night. Alone. Nobody to hide behind or make an excuse to hide in the restroom with. It’s just me, myself, my bullshit, and a man that society says is unfuckable.

[thegroovywitch]

Hello, this is the same anon that sent you the recent ask about Jimmy being my secret crush. One of the reasons why I don’t like to tell people that he is my crush is because of social media. Do you know that account classic rock confessions? They’re an account on Instagram that accepts anonymous confessions about rockstars. And some of the asks were about how they think Jimmy is hot. And every time I checked the comments on those posts, people were always upset and saying eew and whatever. BUT!!! You know what pisses me off. Someone can send the same opinion about another rockstar, for example mick jagger. Like they would talk about how hot he is, and most of the comments are positive. It’s good to point out the bad things these guys have done, especially Jimmy. But again why does he get all the hate but not the others. I remember this was being talked about in the zep fandom on tumblr when that anon sent that ask talking about the problematic things that mick jagger, tommy lee and the other rockstars did. And I remember you reblogged it and you said something about how us jimmy fans get more hate. And I completely agree with you it’s so true. It makes me feel better knowing that other fans can see the hypocrisy and how biased the classic rock fandom can be. I like Jimmy he is an amazing guitarist and I think he is a good looking man. I am sad to hear what he has done but we can’t do anything about it. And also we don’t know the truth so people should stop spreading misinformation about him and some of those groupies.

Thank you sorry this is long I needed to let this out.

hello anon! ugh yeah you should see the amount of people who reblog my posts and put "tw jimmy page" or censor his name like "j*mmy p*ge" and are really hateful towards him, insult him or whatever... but the truth is if you're a fan of a classic rock musician, chances are your fave has done the exact same things as jimmy (or worse) and you may not even know/it may not be known to the public. or it is known and you choose to ignore it but go on and insult fans of other bands.

jimmy has also stated that he regrets certain things he did in the 70's - could... pursuing teenagers also be on this list? maybe. or maybe a part of me just wants to believe so.

here's the quote:

“A lot of things happened in those days that were interesting,” Page said, downplaying what many claim was a decade’s worth of sheer decadence. “Some of it was wild, some of it was fun. I’ve been in the gossip columns, I’ve made many mistakes along the line and I’ve paid accordingly for them.”

What mistakes? Inquiring minds want to know. “Just mistakes,” he replied. “Things I did at the time that weren’t too smart.” That’s all, no details.

[nerdygaymormon]

Hope its okay if i just talk here

Honestly the most confirming part of what ive seen from other queer church members is the reminder that humans, even ones called of God, are flawed. That the church is not currently in line with the practices of the ancient church or even all of Jesus’s teachings! I know I don’t have a safe ward to attend in person right now, but I’d like to think that maybe,,, maybe when I get to heaven all the people who told queer people that God hates them will all be standing in a little line of shame as our Heavenly Parents point and say “now go apologize.”

I’m still struggling so much my (lack of) gender and all that,,, but I think I’m finally starting to regain hope that maybe it’s fine if they hate me and kick me out. As long as I follow God’s commandment to loveand serve His children unconditionally, I can’t go wrong, right?

I went to the temple recently and it was the most nerve wracking day I’ve had in years. I removed all of my flag pins and left them at home and my hands shook so badly when I gave the desk guy my recommend to scan because I felt like they’d somehow sense my queerness or that I’d be struck by lightning or something. I love the temple so much, two of my fondest memories revolve around tending to the flowers outside singing I Love to See the Temple for an activity when I was ten and going to an open house and seeing the Celestial Room and it broke my heart that even when I was being baptized for my ancestors I couldn’t stop shaking because flawed people had drilled it into me that God hates me because of the way He made me.

I hope that God will rebuke His apostles and set things right soon. I think right now He’s trying to teach us that we must find our own way through personal revelation, and not blindly follow the uninspired, narrow-minded words spoken from the pulpit… but I miss being able to feel the Spirit without feeling like a traitor and wondering if I ever know what the Spirit feels like.

I go to church and I sit in the pew and my mind wanders during the sacrament and I take it even though I don’t feel worthy because I’m terrified of what will be brought to light if anyone notices. I turn my jacket out to cover my pride pins even though most of my ward is too old to recognize them. I try so hard not to cry when someone calls me Sister and comments on my dress or asks me if I’ve tried dating yet. I sit in primary and sing and teach the children and I don’t hide my pins because I want them to grow up seeing queer people in the church, but I still don’t talk about it because even if it’s a calling I want out of asap, I’m scared that people will say I’m corrupting the kids and rip me away because they think my existence is vile.

I want to go to church and sit alone in a pew and wear a suit and my young women’s medallion and I want to hear my real name and I want it to be normal. I hope we get to that point soon.

I was recently reminded that although we’ve made progress in this church, there is a long ways to go. We’re often asked to censor ourselves and hide ourselves so as to keep others comfortable. Homophobes and transphobes are welcomed and their comfort maintained. Same is true of racists, they don’t face discipline for their attitude or things they say. It’s backwards from how it should be.

I won’t say those types of attitudes don’t bother me, but I have taken the position that Jesus knows me and given me a special invitation. These other people can’t take that away.

Sounds like you, too, understand you’re known and loved by God.

I love you teach Primary.

I’m sorry the temple was difficult, it is a gendered space. I used to wonder if the angels who are said to guard the temple would find a way to force me out because I’m gay. That has never happened. God knows I’m gay and is fine with that and loves me. I think there is no reason I shouldn’t be allowed or welcomed at the temple. I choose not to go because of the heteronormativity included in the rituals which reminds me I don’t truly fit in this church.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, queer people are the bravest people I know. Even if we sometimes have to hide our Pride pins or not ask others to use our pronouns, we still choose to go into those unsafe spaces because we want to be there.

We’re like the woman at the beginning of Jesus’ ministry who insisted He bless her daughter even though Jesus at first declined because she wasn’t a Jew. She made the argument that even dogs get to eat the scraps, and Jesus declared her faith to be great and gave the blessing. We know we’re worthy of all God offers and yet sometimes have to beg for scraps at church

[hsr-texts]

About the ship that should not be name (lol)

I get you!! I am usually Natural about shipping so most of them i just admire the artist artstyle and if I see ships that I dislike I usually scroll past or mute/block that ship names. But HOLY SHITTTTT the pairing that should not be named for some reason every time I see something mentioning that pairing I just can't help but roll my eyes 🥴🥴. Not to mention there is one Give Away account on twitter that sends hate to someone after she said she can't see the 4ggravate team (Kaveh, Al-Haitham,Cyno,Tighnari) in romantic light after reading Kaveh's hangout and kinda see them as found Family/siblings. The thing is she censored Kaveh's name so the post didn't go public but the GA account didn't even cover her name and accusing her as homophobic because they are clearly " gay coding" and all.

I think because im not into shipping is either because im a huge self inserter(?) Or pairing that i need to like is really really specific (lmao) maybe like Dehya x Candace or Cyno x Al-Haitham. Yelan x Ningguang is actually kinda nice.

DAMN now that's some drama and definitely real terrible

though this reminds me of how a friend invited me to a server and I made a small joke about how "Cytham is the right ship because they're both on the right side" and then the members started attacking me out of nowhere and hurling insults at me.

Apparently the server was a cyn0n@ri server and that "no one likes my stupid ship" and that i'm ""insane"". Fortunately the mods were nice enough to tell off those people but man... Let's just say I was bitter for a while.

I asked the mod whether the server actually was a cyn0n@ri server and they said yes but I questioned them further because absolutely nowhere did I see any indicators of the server being for that ship only because there weren't even like images or rules that were like "hey this is a cyn0n@ri server so please keep things on topic"

the mod was like "it's in the link name" then i was like "er, but that's not something easily seen though because i didn't even read the link name bc my friend invited me and they said they weren't aware this was a ship server either. does this mean no other ships are allowed?"

the mod suddenly backpedaled like "oh actually its for any ship"

the worst part is that i literally asked what type of server this was and all they told me was "oh yk this is just a regular hangout server haha" like they didn't tell me it was a cyn0n@ri server but somehow expected me to just telepathically know it???

i left soon after because that server did not appeal to me and i wasn't keen on getting along with people who sorta harassed me over A SILLY JOKE like geez for a bunch of people who like a ship that has a jokester in it they can't seem to take one

it's been like a few months since that happened but i still hold a grudge

ugh this is why i mostly only like rarepairs bc at least there's less chances for me to run into people like this

[thisgirllovespasta]

Eating Disorders on Tumblr - Participant's Accounts

To examine the way in which Tumblr perpetuated pro-ana/pro-mia culture, I conducted several interviews with people who have lived experiences with ED Tumblr during the 'heyday' (early 2010s).

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To select participants for these interviews, I made a post on my Instagram story calling for people who have experience dealing with pro-ana/pro-mia Tumblr in the early 2010s to reply to my story if they were interested in answering some questions about said experience. Each time someone replied to my story, I would ask for their email, email them the questions, await their response, and then collect the data into Word. The identities of the participants are varied in terms of race, ethnicity, religion, gender identity, sexuality, socioeconomic status, and age. However, all of the respondents are between 22 and 28 years old. The names of the participants will not be revealed publicly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One of the first questions I asked to my participants was why they joined Tumblr in the first place. Everyone joined for a different reason, but something that stuck out to me was how innocent all of their reasons for joining Tumblr were. None of the participants stated that they joined Tumblr to immerse themselves in the world of pro-ana or pro-mia content, in fact, most participants did not even have an ED before joining the site. They joined Tumblr to look at art, to express themselves, to engage with their fandoms (fandoms are fan-based communities about specific media, literature, music, etc) or because their friends were on Tumblr and they were curious. This made me really sad to think about the young, naive, pre-teens and teenagers who just wanted to explore a new form of social media for leisure that ended up leading them to a dark place where should ever venture.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

All participants reported encountering pro-ana/pro-mia content on Tumblr during the early 2010s that included things such as tips for weight loss, thinspo/fatspo/bonespo, and meal plans (thinspo/fatspo/bonespo are photos of emaciated people used to inspire others to lose more weight).

Due to exposure to this content, the majority of participants expressed detrimental impacts on they self-esteem, body image, and eating habits. They reported feelings of inadequacy, comparison, and the adoption of unhealthy weight loss strategies.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Another question I posed to participants surrounded Tumblr's implementation of a rule to prohibit the circulation of self-harm content in 2012, which included promoting eating disorders. I asked participants if they felt as though Tumblr did an adequate job at censoring this type of content. Participants noted that such content still persisted on Tumblr, just hidden under different hashtags or disguised language.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Several of the participants highlighted the lasting effects of their exposure to pro-ED content on Tumblr, with some still struggling with disordered eating to various degrees.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The findings from these interviews bring to light the severity of the role that Tumblr played in the normalization of pro-ED behaviours during the early 2010s. Although the site made somewhat of an attempt to abolish self-harm-related content, it continues to show up in various ways on the platform, posing an ongoing risk to vulnerable and impressionable people.

[iforgotmyfandom]

Presenting The Logic of my Mother, Movies Addition

Feat. Quotes during the movie (mom is white letters, I’m purple, my sister is blue”

What is okay to watch (aka, my mom got me/us to watch it with her, or she let us butt in):

Interview With A Vampire:

“Stop trying to censor the boobs for yourself. You have them too.”

“Something sad’s about to happen. Do you girls (eleven and eight) want to watch something else?” (We did not)

“I knew you were gonna be sad when the girl died. Bed time” we never got around to finishing it.

Halsey’s “If I Can’t Have Love, I Want Power” movie:

[first scene plays] “I feel like we missed something.”

“It’s artistic”

“I hope the baby’s not the king’s”… “Oh. I guess it is.” “…Or not?” “So…. He was gonna r*pe his wife, but the poison kicked in before he could get his pants down.”

“That witch is cool”

“Ooh! I love this song!”(x5)

“Ignore the sex and nudity. It’s artistic!”

“She filmed all this pregnant” “Yeah, I know. You showed me her instagram.”

“Is the baby a boy or a girl?” “I don’t know. They have one of those weird gender neutral names”

“So she was impregnated by a mirror demon version of herself.”

“STAY AWAY FROM MIRRORS, LADY!!”

“That witch is cool”

Practical Magic:

(My sister was not allowed to watch this one)

“Don’t worry. It’s a cult classic.”

“It’s about sisters”

“That’s Belladonna. It’s a sedative, but if you take too much, you’ll die.” “They give him too much, don’t they?” “You’ll have to watch and see”

“Those are their aunts, who raised them.”

“They look just like their aunts”

“Don’t worry.”

Good Omens:

“It seems like something you’d like.”

“When I watched this the first time, you were just barely too young to watch it.”

“What just happened????”

“They’ve been married for at least a century.”

(Episode 5) “You can watch this (barely a sex scene but still a) sex scene because it’s something you will experience at some point.” “Okay….?” (<———Questioning aspec)

Kill Bill 1:

She let us watch the part in the second or third movie where The Bride takes eyepatch lady’s other eye and kills her when I was like seven or eight (making my sister four or five) and my sister spent the whole time we were watching this one asking, “When does she remove that one person’s eyeball?”

*explains the whole plot because we sat down halfway through*

“Yeah, you can watch, but if it gets too bad, I’ll turn it off.” *lets us watch the whole part of the movie set in Japan*

“It’s very violent and r*pey

[about Go-Go] “that’s a very high pitched voice.” [Gogo uses regular voice] “That’s not… I think the high-pitched voice is for her unhinged ‘aesthetic’” “Yeah, she’s a little kooky.”

*explains why all the goons aren’t attacking at once* “so.. it’s like a video game.” “Yeah. Where there’s more and more and more and more and then the boss fight” “that’s exactly what it’s like.”

“And right when she can see color again, the lights go out. Wonderful. SHE JUST GOT OVER HER FULL COLORBLINDNESS AND NOW THE LIGHTS ARE OFF!!”

“That’s some interesting lighting…” “It’s so they have silhouettes.”

“And there’s a room full of dying people.”

My mother, a surgical nurse: “That lady should be dead right now. Unless someone gave her a tourniquet.” “Yeah. That amount of blood is too much, but she should be dead either way…” “Thats where the Subclavian Artery is. We’ve had people die in surgery because their subclavian arteries were cut. And there were people there trying to save them.”

*spends the whole movie explaining its symbolism and meaning*

Currently on the list of things that are not okay to watch (feat. The reasons):

Deadpool:

“I’ve only ever read about it.”

*reads why it’s rated R* “…Graphic sex and Violence. I bet we can’t watch it because of the graphic sex.” “I’m more worried about the violence.”

(According to my mother) if you see something with violence in it, you’ll think it’s okay (said to someone who was more mature and had a better understanding of morals at age five than most adult men)

Bonus: Whatever’s in Deadpool can’t be worse that what’s in Kill Bill

Birds of Prey:

“‘A family (including a young girl and her parents) are graphically murdered by the main villain, Black Mask.’ Uhh… no.”

Violence again

[spectaculardistractions]

To Salvador Dalí Paris, 24 June 1929 Dear Salvador, I sent you a selection of photographs a few days ago, some pretty good ones, considering they are just stills from a particularly interesting bit of film. I’m very keen to know if you liked them. The film is doing well. Thanks to the machinations of the director of Studio 28, Mauclaire, the censors are not going to veto it and Mauclaire wants to hold on to it for a two-month screening in the Autumn saison. It will be shown at a luxury beach resort for three days this summer. The Count of Noailles has hired it for a screening at his palace on 2 July and he’s opening up his salon on the 3rd for me to invite anyone I like. Picasso wants to come. I’ve met all the surrealists and they are delightful especially Queneau, Prévert, Max Morise, Naville, they are all ‘stupendous’, and just the way we imagined them. On Saturday they borrowed the film to finish off a series Artaud and Roger Vitrac were organizing at Studio 28. The theatre was full. The (very mixed) audience reaction was marvellous. There was applause and whistling at the end. But they all howled and laughed in the right places. Afterwards they screened poor old Deslaw’s film, which was booed. You could hear people making fun of him, saying ‘this is so vanguard!’ It left me firmly convinced people can’t stand upside-down houses and car wheels passing by. I’ve been asked for some photographs, Variétés, Cahiers d’Art, Cahiers de Belgique, Bifur, Du cinéma, etc., etc., etc. I’ve reminded everyone I’ve been able to speak to about your central role in the conception of the film. As you know, the only people discussed in relation to films (so far at least) are the director or the actors. Auriol, Desnos, Brunius, etc., will mention both our names, so we’ll be presented as a team. The article by Montes is not bad: it’s a shame he mentioned the vile jota and the filthy Ebro. Every day I meet more people who want to be introduced to us. I shall buy and send on the jacket for your sister in the next two or three days, when I have the money. I’ll write to you on the day I send it so please let me know the best address. That son of a bitch Federico has not turned up. But his pederastic news has reached me. That wily fox, Concha Méndez, wrote to Vensssensss saying: ‘Federico was in London and he’s told me all about Buñuel and Dalí’s great failure. What a shame, poor boys.’ As you can see, the world is so full of whores they’ll be taking over soon. Alberti m’a fait chier and it’s time to do something about it. I’ll wait until we’re together to put together a plan of attack. I can’t wait to see you again under more favourable circumstances. I’ll be with you by mid-August. Plans: all of them, in particular BOOK, magazine and film. I’m sending some articles from Pour Vous, Intran and Ami du Peuple. The most important ones haven’t come out yet. Much love, Buñuel PS Hinojosa is writing the vilest little poems and is in charge at Litoral. The other day Zervos asked me: ‘Who do you know in Spain who could write a good article on Dalí?’ (that’s significant and is at least partly related to your growing reputation in Paris, intensified by the film). I asked Goemans, who agrees it should be done, he says Éric de Haulleville will write it. I’ll tell Zervos today. If you don’t like the idea, let me know. But I do think everyone has the right to their opinion and that one should stay very much on the side-lines. It would be very different if the piece were signed by you. The other day someone said to me: ‘If Breton knew you were giving your film to Vitrac and Artaud, he would be furious’. Of course, I feel personally closer to Breton (who is now surrounded by foul little surrealists like Thirion, Megret and friends), but the film will be shown wherever they pay for it. So, I’m giving it to Noailles, because he’s offering 1,000 francs. That said, I haven’t accepted his invitation to dine at the reception. Magritte liked some things in it a lot and was annoyed by others. The film does mock his painting a bit of course.

Jo Evans & Breixo Viejo, Luis Buñuel: A Life in Letters