#i basically threw this together but its been forever since i made any type of edit

[corneliaavenue]

it's new... the shape of your body it's blue... the feeling I've got oh, it's a cruel summer with you

[lovysmtalks]

Fallen for the wrong you

(Based on this idea)

Even from when Marinette was a child she liked being more boyish- in her mind clothes have no gender and will never have.

But the world thought differently

Her father didn't like her for that

And neither did the people around her

Nino who was a childhood friend of hers always said that she should be more feminine.

She laughed it off as being a joke but when he didn't laugh with her she just stopped talking about it.

✎

She was 14, after she had one of the girls in her class confess her love for her, she realized that she was bisexual.

She started dating Lila, a popular girl in her school.

But once Lila visited her house, it was like hell was brought on her head.

Lila stated ranting about how she should dress like a lady and be more girly, and she should stop talking like a boy and talk more softly and be more demure.

(while Marinette literally had to go to therapist because she wasn't exactly talking and didn't talk to anyone for 4 years)

Marinette with a heavy heart took her advice and stepped out of her comfort zone by asking her parents to help her be more girly.

For the next few months Marinette observed Lila's personality traits and tried to recreate them as much as she could.

The soft and stutter voice

The soft smile

The pink dresses and short skirts

✎

After 2 years,  Marinette was now known as a bubbly and shy person. Dont get me wrong, Mari observed how Lila was flirting with other guys and started ranting about anything the short girl did wrong.

But Marinette observed something else too

People were really kind to her,

The teachers complimented her on the dresses that she wore

The people in school talked to her more

For fucks sake, even her dad talked to her more.

That kinda her the poor girl, but now she was finally accepted, right?

✎

Last year of lycée...

Year with a lot of exams and brought by excitment of starting a new chapter in your life.

Lila broke up with Marinette at the end of last year, turned out she was just confused and never actually liked Mari.

The girl was really hurt it.

But her dad said suck it and be a man.

(Ironic because he treated her badly when she was more boyish)

✎

When she started college, she met Adrien

A son of a big designer in Paris.

He befriended her, and they spent alot of time together

She started to fall for him and she tried to confess...

but then when they opened up more to each other, it turned out that he was an incel that believed a woman belongs in the kitchen and is basically a sex toy and a baby maker

Mari started to distance herself from him, and made a note in her mind that said "I hate men and I'm shit scared of them, never fall for anyone and dont get in relationships or anything more then hookups."

✎

Last year of college.

Marinette meet Chloe Bourgeois.

The two girls because friends fast due to both of them having similar childhoods and interests.

Chloe helped Mari open more and teched her to not give a shit about anyone or anything

✎

After collage, Mari and Chloe opened their own company

Even tho it was hard at the start.

They started with nothing else then a little help from Mari's uncle, Jagged, and Chloe's mom, Audrey.

It was hard, with most of the industry being controlled by selfish rich men

But they did it

They made it to the top

After 2 years of trying, they finally made  it up there

After many ups and downs, they finally did it.

Both girls were know for being the most kind people in the industry.

And they planned to keep that face on as long as they could.

After all, people dont like it when girls are rough and 'mean'

✎

Damian lost a bet.

That was what started the hell hole

Dick and him made a bet and he lost it? The world must have come to an end.

*Flashback*

"Ok little D, you must stop being in your room all the times,  dont you have friends to hang out with?" Asked Dick

Damian stares at him for a second

"Jon is on a mission with his family, did you forgot?" He said

"Yea but that doesn't mean you just stop going outside." Dick said seriously.

Damian wasn't the type to have many friends or go out a lot, everyone knew it, but now Richard was just being an asshole for reminding him that.

"Look, why don't you get a job? You will have to take father's place one day and you dont even know anything about what he does." Dick said

"Of course I know what he does, I..he..uhm" Damian was at a loss of words

'Am I really that ignorant?' He thought

"Look, why dont you two have a bet, if Dick over here wins, you will get a job, if Damian wins, Dick will leave you alone forever and never bring it up again." Jason said

Damian looked at his two older brothers

"I'm in." Dick said

After some seconds

"I'm in as well" Damian murmured

The bet was who can capture the next villain to appear faster.

Dick was faster with only some minutes, meaning that Damian lost.

*Flashback ends*

He was now standing infront of the building of a company he had no idea of. And he was very lost.

✎

Once Damian stepped through the door, he was pushed by someone, making them both fall on the floor

"I'm so sorry, are you ok?" Asked the soft voice of the person who pushed him

"Yea I am alright" he said

He opened his eyes to see a short girl giving him a hand to get up

They made eye contact

Damian's breath cut short

After some seconds, the girl heard her phone ring

"Oh hell, Chloe must be waiting. I'm sorry I have to go"  she said as she started to run

Damian didn't have time to ask any questions as she ran fast, very fast to the lift.

The guy linked repeatedly as he looked after her, a small smile forming on his lips.

✎

It's been 6 months since Marinette bumped into Damian.

The two of them got closer and they became friends... until the 4th month

That's when Damian confessed his crush on her.

She told him she felt the same.

And they started dating, and neither of them could be happier

✎

It was a late night after a celebration party

Both of them got drunk

When they got to the hotel, they started heavily making out, with no care into the world

Clothes started to come off as they moved to the bedroom

They got to the bedroom with him being in his bottoms and her being in only her shirt

They threw themselves into the bed

Damian slowly started to take off her shirt

But when his hand touches her skin

He felt something weird on her waist

Damian stopped the kiss so both of them could breathe

Once the dizziness from the kiss stopped his eyes went on her waist

His brain took a screenshot

He saw alot of tattos on her torso

Marinette looked up at him

Her eyebrows narrowed searching for his gaze. Once she found it, her mind panicked.

She pushed him off the bed and got up, searching for her clothes

Until Damian woke up from his shocked state, she was already gone out of the door.

He got up to look after her but once he was in the hallway, there was no sight of her anymore.

✎

*Some days after the break*

"Are you sure this is alright?" Marinette asked Chloe, who was sitting at her office.

"Babe, he lied to us about who he was and then got close to you, most probably to use it against you, you know how men are, they are all the same, plus,  you can give the job to someone who actually needs it" Chloe said as she threw a paper on the desk.

Marinette looked at the paper, it was  a dismissal paper.

2 days ago the girls found out who he really was.

The son of a rich competitor. Bruce Wayne to be more specific

Both Mari and Chloe know how the Waynes are.

They are cold, and mysterious.

Marinette was having second thoughts about this, but she couldn't risk her name being stepped on, not after working so much to get where she was.

The girl started to think if their relationship even was a relationship, they both were lying to each other.

She knew he wont accept her as she is, and now after learning who he really was, there was no doubts that it was real, and he probably didn't care, like everyone (besides Chloe) in her life.

"Hi Sam, call Damian in Mari's office please."  Chloe said to the secretary.

Marinette got behind Chloe and tried to ignore what was gonna happen

After some minutes, there was knock on the door

"Come in'' said Chloe trying to hide the rage in her voice

In the door stood tall no one other then Damian Wash- I mean Wayne.

"You called me Chloe?" he asked

Damian looked behind the blonde girl to see his girlfriend (?) Turned with her back and looking at the window

"Its Miss Bourgeois to you." She said in a icy voice.

Damian opened his mouth in surprise

"And yes, I called you, please sign this" the blonde says pointing at the paper infront of her

Damian hesitantly got closer to the desk to read the paper

"A dismissal paper? What's this about?" He asks confused as he looks at Mari again

"Dont play dumb Washington." Chloe said, putting anger on the word 'Washington'

Damian looks at the girl shocked, his eyes winded

"Marinette, if this is about that night I'm sorry. I didn't mean-" the man was stopped by Chloe

"Dont you dare try to talk with her after you lied about everything Wayne."  The blonde said loudly.

Damian let out a sort breath while he still looked at Marinette.

"This is a misunderstanding, I didn't lie to you guys, let me expl-" he was once again stopped by Chloe slamming the desk

"ENOUGH WAYNE, just sign this and were done."

Damian's eyes didn't leave Marinette

"Angel, please let me explain." He pleated

Marinette's head turned a little to the side

"We're over." She whispered, with a hint of sadness in her voice

Damian's eyes winded more

He looks at the paper and gets  the pen in his hand

He took one  more look at Mari

And he signed it.

"You are free to leave" Chloe said while turned to Marinette

And he did leave.

✎

After he was gone, Mari broke down in Chloe's arms as the blonde girl was stroking her back slowly

"I'm sorry sugar, I promise I won't let anyone hurt you anymore" Chloe whispered in Marinette's ear

✎

*at the Wayne mansion*

Damian's slammed the door closed as he entered the mansion, gathering the attention of his brothers and father

"Hey demon spawn, how was work?" Asked Jason as Damian walked past him

"Lilttle D, is everything alright? You seem down" Dick said

Damian stopped.

"I got fired" he says while his voice cracked a little

Bruce's eyes winded

"Son, I know you liked the job, but it's not that big of a deal, you can work with Tim" he suggested

Damian was looking at the floor

"And my girlfriend broke up with me"  he whispered

"YOUR WHAT?" says Tim as he spilled his coffee

"Since when did you had a girlfriend Damian?" Asks Bruce

"Since 2 months ago" he whispers again

"Why didn't you tell us?" Jason asked

"BECAUSE I KNEW YOU WOULD HAVE RUINED IT FOR ME." He screams

The family was stunned

"Master Damian, no need to yell, why dont you vent to us? You're very stressed, I can tell." Alfred says

And he did, he told them all about Marinette, all the dates, all the laughs and smiles they shared together, he even told them about what happened that night

"So you're telling me, you got fired because of some tattos?" Jason asked

"No, I got fired because they found out I was a Wayne" Damian says roughly

"How did they not know?" Bruce says

"They dont look into competitors families, it's a bad habit that both of them have" The young Wayne said

"So for 6 months nobody told them who you were?" Tim asks

"No, because we weren't seen in public, I tried to be as careful as I could so no one would know " Damian sighed

"Well fuck, you fucked up big time, but that's not exactly a reason for her to fire you, not a good one at least" Dick said

Damian shrugs

"Wait, I think I know how to resolve this" Tim says

"What do you mean, Tim?" Asked Jason as Tim put his laptop on the coffee table

Tim started aggressively typing on the keyboard

"We now have a charity event to go to" he smirked

✎

"I'm not sure what to think about this Chloe."said the dark haired girl

"We're going to leave when you want sugar, but we need to attempt at the event" Chloe said as she was looking through Marinette's closet

Since Damian left, he was all Mari could have think

about.

She was distracted, hurt, confused, maybe even kinda mad at herself

"Aha, found it, look Mari! You would look so pretty in it. Plus it brings your tattoos at life" says Chloe while holding a suit in her hand.

Marinette promised herself that she would finally show the world that she wasn't the soft girl she always pictured herself as

She knows her parents would be watching the event, and she wanted revenge on her father for the years of therapy that she needed to get because of him and every man that did her bad, every man that said she couldn't open a business because she was a woman.

So she put on the suit, and left with Chloe who was holding her hand protectively.

✎

Once the two girls exited the car, flash lights were all over their faces

They somehow got into the building

Chloe went to get to get them both something to drink, leaving Mari behind.

The girl looked around the big room, her mind being concentrated at one of the paintings.

Suddenly someone was dragging her out of the room

"WHAT THE HELL, LET ME GO!'' she yells to death ears

She continued to struggle but nothing moved out of the person's grip

They got into a dark room, Mari could hear the door lock, she closed her eyes, scared of what was gonna happened.

She heard the light turn on.

"Will you now let me explain" said a familiar voice

She opened her eyes in surprise

"Damian? What the fuck is wrong with you, have you gone nuts?" She said angrily to him

"You didn't let me explain myself, so I had to do something about it, I cant just go on with my life because I know you didn't know what actually is going on." Damian says trying to make his voice as soft as he could, so he wouldn't scare her away

Marinette remains silent, sign for him to start speaking.

"I didn't mean to lie to you, but have you seen how you reacted when you found out who I was? You started to treat me differently." He whispered

Marinette opened her mouth to say something,  but she decided to remain silent

"I didn't lie when I said I love you, god I still fucking do, but I had no idea how to tell you" he sighed

Marinette sighed a deep heavy

"If we start to confess things, I also have something to say" she says

Damian's eyebrows narrowed

"I'm not this bubbly shy girl, I am not the sunshine I make myself look like" she says

"Oh." He said

"I never was and I will never be, I print myself as that because people would treat me differently if they knew the real me"  she sighed

Damian took a step towards her

He kissed her forehead softly, then her lips aggressively

"Then show me the real you"

(Marinette's tattos/suit and Chloe's dress)

[eddieismypimp]

Tough times Oscar X Reader

@spoonful-of-sugar8 @chonisberonica here you go babies :) sorry it took me so long, I wanted it to be good. I still feel like it's bad but I didn't wanna make you guys wait any longer.

request: you and spooky have been bestfriends since high school. you have always been there for the core four and basically helped Oscar raise Cesar. Cesar sees you as a mother figure and eventually you and Oscar get together.  A/N: just a real quick thing, this story won't really be the same as the show it won't be totally different either, and in this Oscar has just turned 18, the reader is 17, and Cesar is 7. ALSO, I'm a black woman so the "reader" (you guys) will always be a black woman. but, if you want any other race or gender or anything please let me know because I don't want anyone to feel left out.<3

warnings: cussing, a little bit of arguing, and i tried not to put so many time skips like my other stories but there's still a lot so its kind of messed up in my eyes.                           

                                                         Y/N POV

"Ugggggggh." I groaned out loud hearing my phone alarm go off. I fucking hate that sound with a passion. I looked at the time. 6:30 a.m. "Uuuuugh, fuuuuck meeee." I exclaimed as I quite literally rolled out of bed. School starts at 8 but I take about 30 years to get ready. I laid my outfit which consisted of sweatpants and a t-shirt. I real life dress bummy as fuck. Don't get me wrong, I clean up nice, but like... I don't got no one to impress. I took a quick shower and did my hair before I got dressed. It was almost 7:40 so I grabbed my phone and my backpack and headed out to my car. My car wasn't nothing fancy considering I was ACTUALLY POOR, just a grey Subaru. but it was absolutely everything to me. I hooked up to my aux and started driving.                                                  

                                                    -time skip-

7:55. Made it to school with 5 minutes to spare so I went to my locker to grab the books for my first class, math. I'm not the smartest but I love math. The teacher was nice and working with numbers was lowkey easier for me. I walked in and saw my best friend. Oscar. Damn he's fine with his full head of curls and sexy ass smile. I thought to myself. Okay bitch, you need to pull yourself together, don't be acting no type of way. I took the seat next to him. "Hey boo." I said smiling at him. "Hey." He said back with a smile. We conversed for a while until the teacher walked in and started the class.

                                    -time skip to the end of the school day-

"Finally bro, this day lasted forever." I said as me and Oscar walked to my car. "You need a ride?" I asked him. "Yeah, if it's not to much to ask." He said. He's been quiet all day. "Of course it's not to much to ask you crackhead." I said laughing a little. We got in my car. "What’s wrong Oscar?" I asked. " You been quiet all day." He just shrugged. "Come on, Oscar." I pleaded. "You can tell me anything, you know that." We sat there for a minute in complete silence. "It's my dad..." He started. I immediately grew worried because I knew that Oscar and his dad didn't have the best relationship. I didn't say anything and waited until he continued. "He wants me to take over the santos ." He said quietly. "Oh fuck.." I said under my breath. This is not good. "Well... is there anything we can do?" I asked full of concern. He shook his head. I got teary eyed. I do NOT want Oscar in this life. He has so much potential. "Oscar, he cant expect this from you... you're only 17. Isn't there anyone else that can take his place? Why does it have to be you?" I said. "Who's gonna take care of you and Cesar?" "There's no one else Y/N! It can only be me don't you see that?!" He yelled. I jumped at his sudden outburst, he NEVER yells. "Cesar and I have no one but the santos so I have to do this!" He said a little quieter this time but his voice was still loud. "Oscar, let me help you. " I said quietly. "You can't Y/N, there's nothing you can do..." He said. I knew he was right but I wasn't about to let him go through this shit alone. "At least let me be there for you and Cesar... please." I begged him. He sat there for a second before he finally gave in and nodded. I sighed. I gave his hand a light squeeze before I started my car and began the journey to his house. We arrived at his house and he was about to get out of the car when I stopped him. "Do you want me to come in?" I asked. He shook his head. "I think it's best if you go home right now." He said. That hurt... "Oh. Okay... call me if you need me." I said. I hope he didn't hear the sadness in my voice. I waited until he walked inside before I drove off.                        

                                                    -time skip-

It was currently 9 p.m. and I haven't heard from Oscar all day. I was worried. I got my pajamas on and layed down, turning on netflix. I was about an hour into clueless when I saw my bedroom door open. The fuck? My parents are on a business trip. I got up quick as shit ready to fight whoever it was when I saw Oscar limping into my room. I forgot he had a house key. I couldn't see his face because he had a hood on and he was bent over in what seemed to be pain, but I knew it was him. "Oscar..." "Are you okay?" I asked. He limped over to my bed and threw himself down with a groan. I finally got a glimpse of his face and gasped. It was bloody and bruised. "Oscar.. what the fuck happened boo?" I asked worried, sitting down next to him. He was breathing heavy. He took his hood off and I nearly cried. His beautiful curls... they were gone. "Oscar...please." "Tell me what happened." I pleaded. "I... I got jumped in.." He said between pants as he took off his hoodie and I saw all of the bruises. That's when the water works started. I hugged him as I cried. This is it.. it's official now. He's part of the santos.                      

                                                -the next morning-

I don't know when I fell asleep but when I woke up, Oscar was no where to be found. I teared up again thinking about the events that occurred last night. My poor baby... I didn't want to go to school today but at least it was Friday. I threw on some leggings and a hoodie. I brushed my hair into a bun and grabbed my stuff. I arrived at school at 7:50 and just headed straight to class. I didn't see Oscar anywhere. This is gonna be a long day.                                           

                                                   -time skip- 

It was lunchtime and this day could not have been going by slower. I couldn't concentrate on anything. I finally decided I couldn't take it anymore and walked out of the cafeteria to go to my car. I drove to Oscars house. When I got there, I saw a few santos sitting in his front lawn. I recognized them. They were cool people. "Hey, any of y 'all seen Oscar?" I asked walking up to them. Alejandro answered. "Yeah, he's inside with Cesar." "Thank you." I thanked him and walked inside the house. I didn't need to knock since I've known Oscar for like, 4 years now. I heard Oscar and Cesar in one of the back rooms so I followed their voices. I quietly peeked through the door to see Oscar and Cesar playing with hot wheels. The sight real life warmed my heart. Oscar is really good with kids. "BOOM, know your car is blowed up!" Cesar yelled.(I'm sorry, idfk how children talk) "Hey man, that's totally not fair!" Oscar whined. I giggled at how childish he sounded. At the sound of my giggle, Cesar and Oscar's gaze turned towards me in the doorway. He smiled and got up off the floor as Cesar ran towards me and hugged my abdomen. "Hi baby." I said ruffling his hair. "Y/N! I missed you!" Cesar said hugging me tighter. "I missed you too my darling." I said smiling and kissing the top of his head. Oscar walked up to us and gave me a kiss on the cheek. "Why aren't you in school?" He asked. "I was worried about you...how are you feeling?" I asked him. "I'm alright, still sore though." He said. I just nodded sadly. "Why isn't Cesar in school?" I asked him as I looked at Cesar who went back to playing with his hot wheels like we didn't exist. "Our father got arrested this morning." He said, my eyes widened with worry. "So I told him he could stay home with me today." He said. "Awww." I said. "Oh come on, don't get all gushy on me." He said laughing. His laugh caused me to laugh too. "So.. would you and Cesar wanna go to the beach with me to get your mind off things?" I asked him. At the mention of going to the beach, Cesar jumped up from his spot on the floor. 'Yeah! I wanna go!" He jumped up and down in excitement. "I guess now you ain't got no choice." I said grinning at Oscar who huffed in fake annoyance. "Okay, okay. Fine." He said. "Go get ready." He told Cesar. "Yayy!" Cesar yelled as he ran to get ready. "Go get ready, I'll wait for you guys in the living room." I said to Oscar, standing on my tip toes to kiss his cheek. "Alright." He said. I sat in the living room for about 10 minutes until they finally came out. Cesar ran up to me hugging me again. This kid is so clingy and it's the cutest thing ever. "You guys ready to go?" I asked looking down at Cesar. "Yup!" He said cutely. I smiled at him. We all piled into my car and started off for the beach. Oscar and I was so deep into conversation that I didn't even realize we were already at the beach until I heard Cesar yelling. "Yay, the beach!" I laughed. We got out the car and Cesar started running towards the sand. "Aye! Stay close to us." Oscar yelled out to Cesar which made him stop dead in his tracks and wait for us to catch up. I smiled. He was such a good kid. We sat our towels down. Cesar kicked his flip flops off and dashed towards the water. "Don't go to far into the water Cesar." I called out to him. "Okay." He yelled back. When I turned back around, Oscar was sitting down on his towel. I took off my shorts and top so I was in my bathing suit. Oscar was watching Cesar. "You wanna get in the water with us boo?" I asked. He shook his head. "Nah, I don't want Cesar to see the bruises." I looked at him sadly. "Are you in pain right now? Do you need anything?" I asked him full of concern. He chuckled at me. "Nah boo, I'm okay at the moment." "Okay, let me know if you need anything." I said kissing his cheek and walking towards the water to swim with Cesar.                             

                                                   Oscars POV

She's to good to us... I don't know what I did to deserve her. If it wasn't for her, we would have literally nobody. I thought to myself. I just sat back and watched how well she got a long with Cesar. That kid really loves her.                          

                                                      Y/N POV 

After about an hour of me and Cesar acting complete fools in the water, and Oscar laughing at us. We got out and hung out with Oscar so he wouldn't feel left out. After a while of us running around chasing each other, we got hungry. "Do you guys wanna go to Dwayne's and get some food?" I asked them. "Yeah!" Cesar said. "Yeah, that sounds good." Oscar responded almost the same time as Cesar. We got back in my car and went to Dwayne's. We sat down, Cesar and I on one side of the booth and Oscar across from us. Dwayne came up to us to take our order.                       

                                                    -time skip-

"That was great." I said smiling at Oscar as he put Cesar in his bed. After we ate , lil baby passed out. "Yeah, today was amazing. We really needed that." He said pulling me into a hug. I smiled up at him. We just looked at each other for a while. Then he kissed me. It caught me off guard but I kissed back anyway. It was a quick kiss. It ended way sooner than I would have liked. "What was that for?" I asked him quietly. "Just... for being you I guess." He said shyly which I thought was the cutest because Oscar is anything but shy. I chuckled a little. I pulled back after realizing we were still so close. "Uh, I gotta go." I said. "Okay, I'll see you later I guess." He said. I walked away smiling. When I got in my car, I was still smiling. When I arrived home, I couldn't stop thinking about the kiss. Even though it probably meant nothing to Oscar, it meant everything to me. I decided to take a shower. After my shower, I instantly fell asleep, worn out from the beach. When I woke up, the sound of someone knocking on my door made me unwillingly get out of my bed. I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and opened the door to see Oscar and Cesar standing there. "Y/nnnn!" Cesar said jumping into my arms. "Hi baby." I said kissing the side of his head and putting him back on his feet. "Hi." I said to Oscar giving him a kiss on the cheek and ushering them inside. I closed the door behind them. "What brings you guys over at 11 in the morning?" I asked goofily. Oscar chuckled. "I have to drop Cesar off over at Ruby's for a playdate with all the kids and I wanted to know if you wanted to spend the day with me. I tried to contain my smile but I couldn't help it. Maybe that kiss did mean something to him. "Yeah, I would love that." I said. "Just let me get ready okay?" "Alright, we'll be waiting for you." Oscar said leading Cesar into the living room and turning on some cartoons. I ran to my room and threw on a flowy white dress with different colored flowers on it and some white sandals. I put my hair in a high bun with two braids in the front. I grabbed my phone and my purse. "Okay guys, I'm ready whenever you are." I said walking into the living room to see them watching Tom and Jerry. They're cute. I thought to myself. Cesar stood up and ran over to me as Oscar stood up and turned the t.v. off. I grabbed Cesar's hand and we walked out to Oscar's sexy red car. We all got in the car. "Cesar, you buckled?" Oscar asked. "Yes." Cesar said with his cute little voice. Oscar nodded his head before starting the car and driving off. The next 10 minutes consisted of comfortable silence. We arrived at Ruby's house and Cesar had already unbuckled ready to dip out this car to go see his friends. "Hold on baby, you gotta wait until we park." I said to him giggling as he pouted. We all got out of the car and Cesar ran up to the door. Geny opened the door for us and we walked inside. "Bye Cesar." Oscar said kissing the top of Cesar's head. "Bye baby." I said giving Cesar a small hug. Cesar and Ruby joined Monse and Jamal in the play room. I smiled as I heard them giggling and just having fun. They're my favorites. "You ready to go?" Oscar asked me. "Yeah." I said smiling at him. "Where are we going?" I asked him as we got in his car. "I got some drop offs, then imma take you to dinner." He said nonchalantly. "Mr. Diaz, is this a date?" I asked jokingly. "I mean, it could be." He said shrugging his shoulders. I was shocked for a second but played it off as if it was nothing. "I just wanted to thank you for being there for Cesar and I. We had a really good time yesterday." "No problem Osc." I said smiling at him. We arrived at his first drop off. Not gonna lie, it was kind of scary being with him when he did this but I was to giddy about our "date" to be sketched out. After a few more stops, we we were on our way to dinner. "Are you gonna tell me where we're going?" I asked him for the hundredth time. "Girl no, its a surprise." He said. "Uuuuuugh" I groaned. He laughed at me. I giggled as we pulled up to Dwayne's. "What you laughin at me for fool?" He asked looking hurt. "Sorry I didn't take you to a five star restaurant." "I'm not laughing at you fool, I think you're cute." I said pushing him slightly. "And I don't care that its not a fancy restaurant, I love Dwayne's." I said. He smiled at me and got out the car. I followed his lead and got out as well. "The fuck is wrong with you fool?" He asked me. I looked at him mad confused. "A man is supposed to open the door for a lady." He said seriously. "Oh shit, that's my bad. You want me to get back in the car?" I asked jokingly. "Yes, I do." We laughed and walked into Dwayne's. We sat down at a booth and were immediately greeted by Dwayne himself. "Hey guys, can I start you off with some drinks?" He asked. "Ladies first." Oscar said looking at me. "I'll take a sprite please." "I'll take a coke." "Alright, do you guys already know what you're going to order or do you need more time?" He asked us. "I already know what I want." I said. "I'll take the barbeque chicken please." I said smiling at him. "Okay, how about you Oscar?" He asked. "I'll just take a burger with a side of fries." He said. "You're so basic." I said laughing. Dwayne laughed too. "So y 'all gangin up on me now?" Oscar asked. I laughed again. "Nah, I'm just playin." He said laughing too. We talked for about 30 minutes until Dwayne brought our food out. "About time, fool." Oscar said. "Hey, watch it. I can take this food and give it to someone else." Dwayne said jokingly. Oscar put his hands up in surrender as I laughed. (I laugh WAY to much in real life, like my sense of humor is actually fucked so I'm sorry if I'm putting to much laughter in this lmao) Everything was going amazing, the food was good and spending time with Oscar was very much needed. It was great to see him laughing. One second we was laughing, the next, Oscars eyes went cold as he stared at the door of Dwayne's. I turned around in confusion to see what he was looking at. My heart dropped. There was two officers walking towards Oscar and I. I turned back to Oscar and grabbed his hands. "It's gonna be okay boo. They probably just wanna talk." I said in a quiet voice trying to comfort him. They walked up to the table. I gulped trying to hide my fear. "Are you Oscar Diaz?" One of the officers asked. "Yeah." Oscar said nonchalantly. The officer pulled out his cuffs. "You're under arrest for illegal drug trafficking." I gasped. I started crying as they put the cuffs on him and read him his Miranda rights. "Hey, hey, look at me." Oscar said. "It's gonna be alright. Tell Cesar I love him." I shook my head in shock. "Please, he didn't do anything." I begged. They didn't listen. They kept dragging him out like he was a dog. I was full on having a panic attack now as Dwayne hugged me. I stood there in disbelief for a few minutes before I came to my senses. I had to go get Cesar. As much as I wanted to go home and never leave my house again, I couldn't leave Cesar alone. Oscar keys must have fell out of his pocket because they were on the seat. I picked them up and ran out to the car. There was so many emotions running through me right now. I had to calm down before I got Cesar, I didn't want him to see me upset. Fuck... how was I gonna tell Cesar...                       

                                                  -time skip-

I pulled up in front of Geny's. I got out and took a deep breath before I knocked on her door. She opened and her face fell. "What happened mija?" She asked with worry. I teared up again. She took me in her arms and lead me into the house. Luckily all the kids were in the play room. "Oscar.. he got arrested." I said trying not to full on cry in Geny's house. She gasped and pulled me into a hug. I let go and wiped my eyes after I regrouped. "Can you get Cesar for me please?" I asked her. "Of course." She said walking towards the playroom. I took the extra time to make myself look as happy as possible. Cesar ran to me and hugged my torso. "Hey boo, how was your day?" I asked him. "It was awesome!" He said happily. I smiled at him. "Where's Oscar?" He asked innocently. I almost broke down but I held it together. "Um, he had some stuff he had to do so he let me borrow the car." I said trying to sound as convincing as possible. I don't think he bought it but he still went along with it anyway. "Oh okay.." "You ready to go?" I asked as I rubbed his head. "Yeah." He said smiling at me. We walked out to the car. "Can I sit in the front pleaseeee?" He asked. "Just one time, Oscar doesn't have to know." He said sweetly. "Okay, but only this one time." I said smiling as he cheered. We got in the car and drove to my house. "how would you like it if I stayed with you for a few nights?" I asked Cesar. "Yeah!" He yelled. I laughed. "Okay." I parked and we walked into my house. "Here boo." I said handing him the remote. Watch whatever you want while I go pack some clothes." "Okay" He said sitting on the couch and turning the t.v. on. I walked in my room and shut the door behind me. I was really trying not to cry right now, I didn't want Cesar to worry. I grabbed my duffle bag and put as many clothes as I could fit, my personal hygiene stuff and basically anything that I would need to live. After I gathered up all of my stuff, I walked around the house and made sure the lights and stuff were off since I wasn't gonna be here for a while. I walked into the living room after making sure everything was turned off and everything. "You ready to go baby?" I asked him. "Yes." He said getting up and turning the t.v. off. We got in my car and drove to the santos house. "What you want for dinner boo?" I asked him. "Uhh.... chicken!" He said. "Okay boo, go play and i'll start dinner." I said kissing his head. About an hour and a half later, dinner was done. I made baked barbeque chicken, fried potatoes, green beans with bacon and baked mac and cheese. I made our plates and called for Cesar. Immediately after I said grace, little man dug in. He was done in about 15 minutes. "Damn boo, was you hungry?" I said laughing a little. He just giggled and went into the living room. I smiled to myself. I love that kid. I finished eating and did the dishes. I decided I had to tell Cesar. It was now or never. I walked in the living room where Cesar was laying on the couch, watching amazing world of gumball. He looked at me and smiled as I sat next to him. I smiled back, but it was a sad smile. "What's wrong y/n?" He asked full of concern. He was pretty smart for a seven year old and he could pick up on peoples emotions really easily. " Cesar... there's something I have to tell you." I said turning my body on the couch to face him. "What is it?" He said sitting up. I didn't know how to sugar coat it so I just told him straight up. "Oscar got arrested today.." I said looking down at my hands. It was silent for a while until I heard sniffling. Cesar was crying. "Come here baby." I said pulling him into a hug. "It's gonna be okay boo, I'm gonna be right here with you. I'm not gonna let anything happen to you." I said kissing the top of his head and rubbing his back in a soothing way.                       

                                                 8 Years Later

Today is the day Oscar gets out. It's been eight years. The night I told Cesar, he took it pretty badly. But after a while, he got used to it being just me. We did pretty well too, for me only being 18 taking care of a 7 year old. I got us an apartment after I found it way to painful to stay in the santo house without Oscar. We grew closer and he was for real like my son now. I looked over at Cesar. "You excited boo?" I asked him. "Yeah, just a little nervous though." He said. "It'll be okay baby." I said kissing the top of his head.  After another few minutes of waiting, I started getting anxious. Finally, the gates opened and I saw Oscar. He looked so different. I mean, of course Cesar and I visited him but... there was something different about him. He had a few new tattoos also. He ran up to us and scooped Cesar up in his arms. He got hella buff. "I missed you hermano." He said. "I missed you too." He put Cesar down and turned to look at me. I gave him a soft smile. "Hey boo." He said goofily, picking me up and kissing my cheek. "I missed you so much." I whispered. "I missed you too." He put me down. "Okay, lets get you home, I bet you're hungry." I said handing him the keys and walking to the car. We stopped at a taco truck before making our way back to Freeridge. After an hour and a half of driving, we finally made it back to the santos house. There was hella santos in the front lawn waiting for us to get home with Oscar. "God it's good to be home." Oscar said as he parked the car. He got out and was swarmed with hella santos. Cesar and I got out the car. I stood back and watched as Oscar chatted up with Cesar and the santos. I didn't know all of their names but I got close with a few of them during these 8 years. Especially Jose, whos better known as sad eyes around here. Speaking of the devil, he walked up to me. "Why ain't you over there with the others?" I asked him. "I figured I would wait until everyone wasn't crowdin him. We got all the time in the world now." He said. "True, true." I said. We stood in silence for a while. "Hey, I just wanted to say that just because Oscar is back, doesn't mean I'm gonna act some type a way around you. It's gonna be just like how it was when he was locked up, I don't got nothin to hide." He said. I smiled at him. "Okay, that's good because I didn't want you to treat me different." He chuckled. We stood there and talked for a while. I didn't even notice that the santos had left and Oscar was walking up to me and Jose. "Hey compa, how was it in the pin?" Jose asked as he dapped Oscar up. They both laughed. Oscar wrapped his arm around my shoulders and kissed my cheek. Him and Jose chatted up for a while, catching up with me joining in occasionally. At some point in their conversation, Oscar had moved his arm off of my shoulders. "Alright homie, imma head out and let you get some rest." Jose said dapping Oscar up once again. He turned and kissed my cheek. "I'll see you tomorrow." He said. " Bye." I said smiling and giving him a small wave.                                                 Oscars POV

The fuck kinda shit was that. Why my boy kissin on my girl like that. He knows she's my wifey.                                                   Y/N POV

"You ready to head inside?" I asked looking at Oscar. "Yeah." He said wrapping his arm around my shoulder, leading me inside. I yawned. "i should really be heading home." I said. "Oh come on, it's my first day back, why don't you spend the night" He asked. I thought about it for a second. "Alright, I'll stay, but only for tonight." I said. Oscar smiled at me. Cesar was in the living room watching t.v. He smiled when he saw us walk in and got up to hug his brother. They both sat on the couch as I made my way into Oscar's room where I still had some clothes. I decided on some Nike shorts and a plain grey shirt. I hopped in the shower. About 45 minutes later, I got out. I moisturized, brushed my hair and got dressed. When I walked in the living room, they were both asleep and Cesar had his head on Oscar. It was the cutest thing ever. I took a picture right quick and went to get them a blanket and pillows. Oscar was awake when I got back. "You take for fucking ever in the shower." He said tiredly, rubbing his eyes I chuckled. "My bad." I said. I lifted Cesar's head gently and put the pillow down, then I covered him up. "You can crash with me if you want." Oscar said walking towards his room. I followed behind him. We layed down facing each other. For a few minutes, it was quiet until Oscar spoke up. "Y/n.. I can't tell you how much I appreciate you. I love you so much." I was at a loss for words. This is one of the very very few times I've seen Oscar this vulnerable. "I love you too Osc.." I said. He leaned in and kissed me. That kiss soon turned into a full on make out session and that turned to something else.                       

                                                  -3 weeks later-

It's been 3 weeks since Oscar got out of prison, 3 weeks since we shared that intimate moment. I've been staying at my apartment since that night and I've only hung around a few times. Cesar and the rest of the kids was at my apartment everyday for the first two weeks but stopped coming after that. I was confused as to why but I didn't question it. I didn't wanna hang out with everyone even though I missed Oscar so much. He's been pretending that night didn't happen and I don't want him to feel like I'm trying to force things. He started being more involved in the gang shit after a week of being out. I thought going to prison would put some sense in him and I'm very disappointed to find out that it in fact did not. I decided I was going to talk to him about everything that's been on my mind after work today... I hope things go well.                           

                                                     -time skip-

It was finally 9:30. The end of my shift. I gathered my things before walking and locking the building doors. I decided I was gonna go straight to the santo house to talk to Oscar instead of going home first. When I got there, there was only a few santos sitting outside, including Oscar and Jose. I got out of my car and walked up. "Hey guys." I said as Jose stood up and kissed my cheek. Oscar glared at him. "Can I talk to you for a second Oscar?" I asked. "Yeah." He said a little to quickly, getting up and walking to the house. I followed behind him. He spoke up when we got inside. "What kind of shit was that?" He asked. "What the hell are you talking about?" I asked in utter confusion. "Why was sad eyes all up on you like that?" He asked calmly. I'm glad he wasn't like those dudes that be yelling and shit, that shit ain't attractive. "It ain't even like that." I said. "Oh, okay. It ain't like that but he's kissin on you?" He said, not believing a word I said. "Oscar... chill out. It for real ain't like that. We just got close when you were locked up. He's like family." I said calmly. "Alright.. I'm sorry." He said. "It's okay.. but you have me confused." "How's that?" He asked. "One minute you act like you don't care about me and like that night meant nothing, and the next you're getting mad cause someone else kissed my cheek... like I just don't understand you." I said. He sighed. "Y/n... it's complicated right now." "How is it complicated Osc, just tell me how you feel." I said softly. "Please." "I love you.. and you know I do. I just... don't want anything bad to happen to you." He said looking down at his hands. I started laughing. "Hey, this shit isn't funny." He said sounding a little hurt. "It's not that Oscar, I just think you're cute." I said as I walked up to him and squished his cheeks, kissing his puffed up lips. He smiled at me. "So are we official or nah?" I asked him. "We are if you wanna be." He said. I smiled and kissed him again. " I'll take that as a yes." He said when I pulled away, causing me to life. He smiled and pulled me into a hug. "Where's Cesar?" I asked. "I want to tell him the good news." Oscar stayed silent. I didn't like that at all. Usually when he's silent that means something is wrong. "Oscar.. what's going on?" I asked. "You don't need to worry about it y/n." He said, all emotion wiped clean from his voice. "Don't need to worry about it?" I repeated incredulously. "Cesar is like my son, where the fuck is he?" I asked getting a little upset. I didn't get to upset and I didn't raise my voice because I didn't wanna ruin the cute moment we just had. "Oscar please tell me." I said growing more worried. "I don't know where he is.." He said finally. "What?..." I asked. "How do you not know where he is?" I asked. "I.. I had to kick him out." He said. "You had to do what?" I asked very upset. "Why would you do that Oscar, he's 15 years old, and you just got out of prison. All he wanted to do was spend time with you." I was starting to get teary eyed. I really did not want to cry right now. "Y/n I know but he disrespected the gang. When I had him jumped in.." I cut him off. "Hold the fucking phone.. you had my baby jumped in and you didn't talk to me about it first?! I told you I didn't want him in that life no matter what and you agreed." I said not being able to believe what I was hearing. "Y/n.. you have no say in this. I'm sorry but you don't..." He said. "I really can't believe this right now, we were having such a cute moment..." I was very upset right now. "Y/n, I'm sorry. I'm gonna make this right I promise." He said standing up and grabbing my hands. "I really hope so Oscar..." I said pulling my hands away from his. "I gotta go." I said walking out of the front door, Oscar followed behind me but didn't try to stop me. "Aye, where you going?" Jose asked standing in front of me, pulling me in a hug. "I gotta go find Cesar." I said pulling away from the hug. He looked at Oscar shocked. I got in my car and made my way to Monse's, she had to know where he was. I was very upset that he didn't immediately come to me but I decided to push that thought to the back of my mind and focus on making sure my baby was safe. I got to Monse's and jogged to the front door, knocking a little to loudly. She opened it after a few seconds. "Y/n.. what are you doing here?" She asked. "Have you seen Cesar?" I asked worried. I was praying she had seen him. "Uh, yeah. He's here." She said. Oh thank God. "You can come in if you'd like." "Thank you so much." I said walking in as she closed the door behind me. I walked to her bedroom and saw Cesar laying on her bed. He immediately sat up when he realized it was me. I walked up to him and hugged him. "I'm so glad you're alright. Oscar told me what happened." I said kissing his head. "Where in your mind did you not think to come to my house, that's your house too and you know it is." I said lightly slapping his arm between each word. "Ow, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." He said. "I didn't want you to worry." He said. I frowned sadly. "I'm always gonna worry about you boo, no matter what. Same goes for Monse, Ruby, and Jamal. You guys are my babies." I said pulling them both into a hug this time. "Please, come stay with me. You can come too if you'd like Monse." I said in a soft voice. "Okay.. we'll come. Just let us gather up our things." Cesar said smiling at me. I smiled back. "Okay, I'll be waiting for you." I walked out of her bedroom and into the living room. About 5 minutes later, they walked out with their bags of clothes. "You guys ready?" I asked. "Yup" They both replied. We got in my car and drove to the apartment. When we got there, they invited the other two. I made us all dinner and we had a fun little movie night. I woke up the next morning to loud knocks on my front door. What the hell? I thought as I unwillingly got out of bed. When I walked in the living room, I saw Jamal and Ruby sprawled all over each other on the couch. I giggled. They're the cutest. I didn't see Monse and Cesar so I figured they were in Cesar's room. I opened the door to reveal Oscar. "Osc, what are you doing here?" I asked moving out of the way so he could walk in. "I need to talk to Cesar, I know he's here." He said looking into the living room seeing Ruby and Jamal sprawled on the couch. "Yeah, he's here, but he's sleeping right now." I said as he pushed past me walking down the hallway. He didn't know which room was Cesar's so he opened every door until he got the right one. As I suspected, Cesar and Monse were in Cesar's bed cuddling. "Aww." I said. They were so cute. Oscar gave me a side glance before walking towards the bed and shaking Cesar to wake him up. When Cesar opened his eyes, he jumped up in shock. "Oscar, what are you doing here?" He asked. "I need to talk to you." Oscar said motioning Cesar to follow him before walking out the door. Cesar put his shoes on and followed behind him. After about 20 minutes, Cesar came back in. "Hey, everything okay?" I asked him worried. "Yeah, Oscar has a plan to make everything right. We gotta go." He said kissing my cheek. "What's the plan Cesar?" I asked. "It's nothing to worry about y/n, everything's gonna be okay." He said trying to reassure me. "What if it ain't, what if something goes wrong?" I asked. "Y/n, it won't I promise. Just don't tell Monse and everyone where I went." He said.  "You guys please be careful." I said pleadingly. "We will y/n, I promise." He said before walking out the door. I had a sunken feeling in my stomach but I decided to push the feeling away and make breakfast for everyone, not wanting them to wake up and go hungry. I finished cooking and went to wake the boys up first, then Monse. When Monse woke up, she was really worried. "Where's Cesar?" She asked immediately. "Don't worry baby, he just ran to the corner store for me." I said, knowing I was lying but not wanting to worry her. "Oh, okay." She said a little more calmly. "Come on, I made breakfast." I said holding my hand out to her. She grabbed my hand and I lead her to the kitchen where the boys were already eating. After everyone got done eating, they went in the living room to chill. After about an hour, Cesar and Oscar walked into the apartment. "Oh thank God!" I said running up to them, kissing Cesar on the top of his head and wrapping my arms around Oscars neck giving him a kiss on the lips. Everyone looked shocked but I didn't care. "What is he doing here?" Monse asked incredulously. "Don't worry Mons, everything's fine now. We fixed it." Cesar said wrapping an arm around her shoulder. "What do you mean you fixed it?" Jamal asked. "How?" Ruby asked right after him. Oscar spoke up before Cesar could. "Don't worry about it, just know its taken care of." "That made the children stop questioning. "Are you guys hungry?" I asked them. "There's still some breakfast left." "I'm starving." Cesar said walking to the kitchen with Monse following him. "How bout you boo?" I asked Oscar. "Yeah I could eat." He said smiling.                       

                                                    -3 years later-

I was doing laundry, thinking about how far we've come. It's been three years. Monse went to a boarding school, Jazmine and ruby got together, Jamal joined the football team. We all still keep in touch even though Oscar, Cesar and I moved to the suburbs. Oscar got out the gang life and we got married. I got pregnant and everything has been going great for us. We couldn't be happier. Of course there's still times when Oscar forgets that he's safe now and he doesn't need to carry a gun everywhere but we're working on it. "Y/n, where you be at?" I heard Oscar yell. "In here babe." I yelled back. He walked in seeing me struggle to get the clothes out of the washer to transfer into the dryer. "Let me do that bebe, you don't need to be staining yourself when you're 8 months pregnant." He said taking the clothes out of my hand and putting them in the dryer. "Thank you baby." I said kissing his cheek. "Go sit down doll, I made dinner." "Aww, my sweet man." I said cooing at him. "Don't act like I don't make your lazy ass dinner all the time." He said. I laughed. "I know, I know." I said. He turned towards me and wrapped his arm around my waist. Pulling me into him, kissing me. After we ate dinner, we ended the night with me laying down with my head on his lap and him rubbing my pregnant belly. I really couldn't be happier.

[genderbinaryisforlosers]

everyone on the carte blanche for the ask meme

everyone? oh boy this is gonna get long ajfhdsf

JUNO

First impression: i, like a lot of people who get into the podcast without knowing a great deal about it, was expecting at most an ambiguously bisexual angst machine with a closely-guarded heart of gold. juno being an explicitly bisexual genderqueer angst machine is perhaps the most pleasant surprise of my life. the angst machine heart of gold characters were kind of my type at the time, so i loved him right away

Impression now: every time i think about juno’s arc from depressed mess held together by bad coping mechanisms, safety pins, and a few good strong puns into someone who can talk about his feelings, feel comfortable about being happy, and recognise when he needs to change, i want to cry about it a little bit. the depth of my love for juno steel has only grown along with him

Favourite moment: juno has a lot of great one-liners and i’m still a big fan of the “on the other hand i wasn’t wearing a watch” bit and who can forget such classics as juno finally deciding to stop moping over nureyev and move on only for him to open the door to his apartment and find nureyev sitting in the dark dramatically, but honestly nothing will ever hit me harder than his sudden, pissed-off declaration of “i can’t die yet, i still have shit to do!” in promised land. god.

Idea for a story: oh i have so many and i want to write most of them so no spoilers, but juno accidentally kidnaps a baby during a carte blanche heist and shenanigans ensue

Unpopular opinion: obviously we all know he’s dummy thicc but i feel like a lot of people forget he’s an actual genius, like the stuff he notices and how he strings it together is sometimes so obscure and he’s almost always right. oh, also juno is not skinny and i will not be taking criticism on that

Favourite relationship: this is so tough because every dynamic is so good, but i think it has to be juno and rita. those two are so good! the best best friends in the world!! i’m really a sucker for any dynamic that’s ridiculously in-sync so i loved these two as soon as juno saw rita’s notes in prince of mars and went “makes perfect sense to me” (which it probably didn’t, because rita, but he trusted that she knew what she was doing which is the important part)

Favourite headcanon: this isn’t really a headcanon but i still think about how juno is (was?) deathly afraid of heights but when he heard rex glass coming he still attempted to climb out of the window. either his aversion to working with dark matters/other people in general was so strong is overrided his fear, or his office was actually on the ground floor. not sure which of these is funnier.

NUREYEV

First impression: we’ve all seen the memes about nureyev knowing juno steel for one (1) day and deciding to Risk It All by leaving him with his name, look at this Hopeless Romantic, this utter DISASTER of a homosexual. the fact the very next time we hear from nureyev (at least directly) he’s patiently waiting in juno’s dark apartment to surprise him with a heist definitely supports this image.

Impression now: even after literally being inside peter’s head, i feel like we didn’t get a real sense of who he is until man in glass, where we find out he aggressively compartmentalises everything that causes him stress. he’s also distinctly someone who’s had his heart broken before, i think, which makes those first appearances of his very strange. but it does remind me of what juno says about diamond, and how he decided to provide the trust first and wait for the trustworthiness to grow in (only to get severely hurt), and i think that’s exactly what nureyev did. i am also... very uneasy with how suspicious he’s behaving this season because obviously i want to believe he’ll sort it all out and not betray the crew but... oof

Favourite moment: the beginning of what lies beyond pt1 where he’s affectionately bullying juno into taking care of himself? cleared my crops watered my skin etc etc etc

Idea for a story: i’d love to hear more about his past as a young thief idolising buddy and vespa (i can’t actually remember if that’s canon or fanon but anyway i wanna read it!)

Unpopular opinion: i think people often cling to an image of him that more resembles his first impressions in season 1 instead of seeing the depth that we’ve been given about his character in season 3

Favourite relationship: him and juno but honestly it’s a close call between them and his budding friendship with rita. even though she learned it by accident, his name is still a point of intimacy and it’s one less secret to keep around her which has to be a weight off his shoulders, at least a little? they seem like they could be really good friends once ultrabots is out of the way. juno steel love (and also bullying) zone activates whenever they’re together

Favourite headcanon: i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again - nureyev has never done a household chore in his goddamn life. he doesn’t know the water needs to be hot when you wash dishes.

RITA

First impression: honestly i’m not sure? i don’t remember having a big awareness of her in murderous mask but i remember loving her “note-taking” in prince of mars, i thought she sounded really fun and cute

Impression now: rita is really fun and cute, she’s also an extremely hardworking and dedicated woman who had the guts to throw in with a detective fired from the force and then invest all of her time and money into helping him help people.

Favourite moment: Rita Gets A Knife. enough said

Idea for a story: i don’t know honestly! i really struggle to write rita because her thought processes are so wild and i don’t think any story i could come up with would match mega ultrabots of cyberjustice.

Unpopular opinion: this shouldn’t be unpopular because juno steel himself shares this opinion but all future-jupeter headcanons are incomplete without rita also being a huge part of their lives

Favourite relationship: rita + franny 4ever obviously.. jk it’s juno & rita have you heard rita minute 3 they’re too adorable for this world. im still Soft over their conversation at the end of soul of the people when he said he couldn’t stay in hyperion anymore but he wouldn’t leave with the carte blanche if rita wasn’t coming because he was done leaving her behind, and she threw out all her hesitations on the spot and said call the big guy. speaking of, rita & jet are a close second. instant best friends i love them.

Favourite headcanon: i think this is basically canon now but rita being literally half the height of jet is so good

JET

First impression: “haha lorge funny man puts juno in the trash”

Impression now: jet sikuliaq is one of the dearest characters to me out of anything ever. he is a huge, menacing, polite, kind, sincere man who i would very much like to give me a hug. he’s the best aro ace in outer space and while being generally very levelheaded and straightforward, also takes every opportunity to fuck with juno because it’s very easy and very hilarious to him personally. he is everything my autistic acearo ass needed and i’m so glad to have him

Favourite moment: all of them every single one. him putting juno in the trash is of course a classic and every moment jet chooses to be funny makes my heart happy, but also every piece of genuine advice he gives. i’m a particular fan though of buddy recounting her years in the lighthouse and him saying he became concerned when she didn’t come downstairs at the usual time. “you took the door off its hinges.” “i was deeply concerned.” king of understatement

Idea for a story: again no spoilers for you but..... tools of rust time loop au

Unpopular opinion: this isn’t “unpopular” as much as it is unknown but jet is buddy’s queerplatonic partner and i will keep saying it until everyone believes it

Favourite relationship: jet and buddy,,, just everything about them. the way he suspects when she’s lying, the way she makes tea for him when she expects him to drop by. the fact he comes to check on her when she is 41 seconds late to the family meeting because it’s unlike her to be late and the last time she was late for something her brain was turning to radiation soup. but most especially the way she snaps at him to stay out of her business and he said he could not because he made her promise eight years ago to never stay out of the business of her health, no matter how many times she asked. they r literally in a qpr

Favourite headcanon: i don’t think this is true but i still think it would be funny if the ruby-7 used to be painted red but when jet got it he had it painted green because he Just Really Likes Green (as evidenced by his hovercycle). it’s very funny to me.

BUDDY

First impression: it’s been a minute since i relistened to time gone by but i’m pretty sure the first thing she ever says in the podcast is sliding up to depressed accidental whiskey thief juno and say “that’ll be ten million creds,” scaring the shit out of him, so needless to say i was in love instantly.

Impression now: my love for buddy aurinko has only grown and if it sounds like i already said that in this post it’s because i did about juno and it’s appropriate because the parallels are astounding. the heart of it all gave us such depth to buddy’s internal monologue and why she always sounds like she knows exactly what to say and what that’s like and honestly will i ever be over the heart of it all as an episode? unlikely. i think i’m gonna have a little piece of it in MY heart forever.

Favourite moment: everything she’s ever said is iconic as hell i especially like “in an impressive fit of hubris i’ve decided not to prepare my words for this vow” which made me laugh out loud but once again i must give it up for her iconic “I WANT TO LIVE” moment. honourable mentions to her taking rita out for ice cream and giving juno shooting lessons while she’s in her actual wedding gown. i love her

Idea for a story: buddy and vespa as sun/moon dieties.... that’s all

Unpopular opinion: stop drawing her with a fancy high-tech eye like the theia!! it canonically looks like garbage and it’s described in detail, please, i’m dying, also don’t minimise her scars you bastards

Favourite relationship: buddy and vespa invented romantic love and the entire carte blanche crew’s relationship to her is great but you know by now i’m a slut for buddy & jet out-of-this-world queerplatonic partners. the way she checks in on him during tools of rust to make sure he’s not relapsing and he comes to find her when she is 41 seconds late in the heart of it all to make sure she’s not having a heart problem!! it’s the trust,, the devotion,, the mortifying ordeal of being known

Favourite headcanon: she can sing. absolutely tears it up at karaoke. i’m right

VESPA

First impression: knife lesbian goes STAB. she will heal your wounds but she will be threatening to give you more the whole time

Impression now: she is extremely strong, heart-rendingly tender, and despite being in the older half of the carte blanche crew somehow has unmistakable little sister energy which makes her downright hilarious. i’m so glad she got to marry buddy and they’re official space wives now they’re so good for each other

Favourite moment: both from shadows in the ship, either “GUN!!” “KNIFE?!” (iconic) or when she clocks the dark matters drone pretending to be juno because it called her crazy and juno wouldn’t call her crazy. i’m always a sucker for “shapeshifter fails to fool mark because they Know Each Other Too Well” and it was just *chefs kiss* so good

Idea for a story: i really want to write something about when she was first staying at the lighthouse with buddy post-reunion, and getting to know jet and stuff. i think it would be cute

Unpopular opinion: i know vespa doesn’t canonically have lots of scarring but people who don’t draw her with scarring? cowards.

Favourite relationship: once again, although buddy and vespa invented romantic love, i just love the dynamic between vespa and juno so much. they’ve come so far with each other and their weird sibling dynamic gives me life. at the end of what lies beyond when juno says “we’re not gonna kill her, vespa” and instead of sounding full of Rage and Suspicion she’s like “whyyy notttt?” and he’s like “because i said so!” and that’s just good enough for her even if she’s a bit grumpy about it. i love it.

this took.. a hot minute to do! jshkfjsdgsa thank you dyl ily <3

[toshis-puppycat]

Unfortunately, I Think I Love You Too Part Four

A/n: So, uh angst happened last chapter lol I'm sorry about that. But y'all liked it so its okay. Some fluffyness will be coming soon! Also big thanks to @onyxiana-is-obsessed for letting me use a name in this!! You're the best for that truly. And I'm very sorry it took me a while to update things happened and I got stressed, but it should be all good now! Thank yall for being patient with me!

Summary: Hawks doesn't know what to do, you're semi avoiding him now and that's very difficult because you're literally trapped in the same house and you know for a fact you have no food available. Shopping with Hawks is okay at least. Too bad that gets interrupted. 

Part Four

You tried not to think about what he said. "If...if you ever need it. I'm here for you." 

It was awkward, uncomfortable. You didn't like it. Unfortunately, you noticed you had like, absolutely no real food to consume. You had to make a trip to the store. And you had to do it with Hawks.

"Hey, birdbrain. We need to go to the store." You said, walking into your living room. Ignore it. He shot you a look.

"Is that really safe to do right now?" He asked.

"You want food?" You ask, he nods in response. "Then get ready." He gives an apprehensive look, it's an odd on him. He's usually so confident and sure about his movements. You quickly got ready, and left the house together straight to the store. First, your assorted fruits, then your vegetables and now the protein and other assorted foods. First choice from Hawks was chicken, of any type (mainly asking you to make fried chicken the goddamn weird bird), apparently the discussion between you two earlier is finally being pushed aside for the time being. You hoped it'd never be brought up again. You didn't want to acknowledge it, you didn't want to remember the terror you'd feel every time you fell asleep. You shook the thoughts off, checking the assorted meats. You could make some tacos or something tonight, maybe some stew. You felt a hand at your lower back in that moment. Ah, Hawks finally came back-

"I do hope you don't think that having him nearby will keep you safe." They said, and you felt yourself stiffen, eyes widening in shock as you subtly tried looking around. Hawks wasn't near you at all and you knew this person. "It was quite easy to lead him away. Money gets people to do things, my dear." They continued.

"Toxin." You said, you tried your best not to move around. You remembered his quirk all too well.

"Awe the little one does remember." Toxin teased, you could practically feel his smile. "I'm sure you understand why we're doing this sweetheart." He purred. "Betraying us the way you did back then left a lot of scars for us. Me especially, you were my future y/n." 

"That was not a life for any child to experience. Being offered to you should have never been an option." You hissed.

He tisked at you, his arm wrapping around your waist and pulling you close. "Ah y/n. I wouldn't be so snappy if I were you. After all you are alone right now." He smirked, then kissed your temple. "It was nice to see you y/n, but I should be going now. That bird is coming back." He said, you didn't let yourself relax with him saying that though. He grabbed a strand of your hair, and lightly tugged it and sighed. "I'll be seeing you again soon though, sweetheart." And with that he left you, you couldn't move, your body felt numb and you couldn't breath. Then there were hands at your shoulders. Oh God were they back already? You couldn't do this you had to run-

"Kid!" Hawks exclaimed. "Take deep breaths, alright?" He pulled you into his arms at that. You snapped out of it at that point, gently shoving him away. You freaking out would have caught some attention, you couldn't just push him away.

"I'm fine. Let's just pay and get out of here." You said, you tried keeping your voice steady but he could hear the quiver, and basically feel your erratic heartbeat. You were right, you both had to leave. Him before a fan would try to ask him to sign something and you before you started to panic again. You quickly paid for your items and left. Your heartbeat didn't slow until the both of you were safely in your home. 

—*—*—*—*—*—*—*—*—*—*—*—*—*—*—*—*—*

He usually knew what to do in situations where civilians were scared. But there was a catch for this time. You weren't a civilian, you were… you were a hero. A hero whos childhood was somewhat shrouded in mystery for him. The commission didn't give him anything more pertaining to your case. The only information that they had was that you were saved, and then you didn't join any hero work at all. But that was a lie. He knew it at this point that you were are a hero. Something he didn't tell the hero commission because he knew it'd hurt you. It took months of bugging attempting to get to know you and be somewhat close enough to talk outside of your hero duties. Which didn't happen the way he wanted. You were intriguing, ever since he first met you at that charity event. You also weren't really known, any information was shrouded in mystery, nothing was confirmed about you. Well one part for him was confirmed now, you were gorgeous. He always had that theory after he met you and you were soft. He remembered when you had hugged him close when you were undercover with him, you felt right in his arms. He wanted to help you. But he had to understand you. So when you forced yourself to cook dinner, he didn't argue because you would shield yourself away. Even though he was feeling a tiny bit desperate to know, he kept it to himself. And when you finally turned in for the night he made a decision that would go past this assignment. He would protect you, no matter what. Starting with not calling you "sweetheart". It was a cute pet name to you but well, hearing that villain, Toxin, call you that just… it made your annoyed reactions make more sense. Especially when he had first done it. You were more neutral when you two first spoke, but the moment he uttered that pet name you ended up annoyed with him. That ended up becoming the relationship you two had now, you annoyed with him and him slightly desperate for your attention. But now, right now you were someone he had to protect more, a victim of a criminal organization. He looked over at your bedroom door, your home was soundproof, no one would be able to hear you inside, and considering what he heard earlier it made sense. He walked over to the door, not opening it just waiting, hearing you toss and turn attempting to get comfortable. He leaned against the wall nearby, he really wished you'd trust him. 

—*—*—*—*—*—*—*—*—*—*—*—*—*—*—*—*—*

Having Hawks stay at your home leaves mixed feelings for you. It made you relieved but at the same time on edge. Glad someone who knew about your hero life but also left you paralyzed with fear. Heros saved people, heros were strong. This… this was you being weak. You were acting like the scared child All Might saved. You were still terrified of them. Your childhood was a horror show. The amount of times you saw people killed just for existing, being there at the "wrong time" (which was all the time the damned liars), the fact that they would force you to watch them kill innocent people and laugh about you cowering away. It was no wonder you were grateful for All Might saving you, it was why you wanted to be a hero. Saving the people who weren't always seen. You pointed out Chisaki Kai to Nighteye, he looked more into it and decided it was a case he'd investigate with a few other agencies. That little girl with them, she needed to be saved. It was why you told him about what you'd noticed in the first place. You didn't want to be known however. Too many people were wary about those related to villains, all you wanted to save people. And you were. But now… now it was coming back. Now you had to rely on heros to protect you. You hated it. You didn't want to rely on anyone, you just wanted that chapter of your life closed. You felt a terrible headache coming on then heard something shuffle outside of your door. Did this… did this dumbass not see the spare bedroom? You sighed, and got up. Quickly moving to open your door as you saw something move in the corner of your eye outside of your bedroom window. You tensed, you forgot that they were watching you. God it was probably why Toxin fucking talked to you! You probably threw them in for a loop having Hawks at your home thankfully. You opened the door, finding Hawks leaning against the wall nearby, and quickly threw yourself into his arms and tucked your head under his chin, he froze at the sudden contact. "M'sorry I panicked like that earlier and pushed you away." You said, it was muffled. He was still kinda frozen but you felt his arms slowly wrap around your middle. 

"Ah, its okay kid. Are you feeling a little better?" He asked, this was so different from the Hawks you were used to, unsure of what to do almost shy like, you shook your head in response to his question before you forgot to.

"Not really, but I didn't wanna shut you out." You whispered, forcing yourself to relax in his arms. Liar. A voice whispered in your head. You're a liar and a coward. Its good they came back to get rid of you. You deserve it. 

"Hey come on kid, I'm not heartless. Why would I leave my little songbird alone when she needs me?" He said, and wow did those pet names stick out as a "long term" thing they thought you had. You felt yourself flush. He was almost being… cute. He kissed your temple and led you back to your living room. Sitting on the couch before pulling you into his lap, one hand moving to steady your waist as you attempted to get comfortable, both legs thrown over his. "I'm not going anywhere songbird." Thank god he seemed to have gotten the hint, you thought as you saw a single feather subtly fly behind him and under the front door. You two sat there for what seemed like forever, he was holding you, he moved the hand at your waist and threw it around both of your shoulders and the other cupping your cheek as you laid in his arms. It was… nice. It felt right, like nothing was wrong. All the negative thoughts that were swirling in your head a moment ago vanished the moment he properly held you, your body felt at ease for the first time in years, you were exhausted. You didn't notice the tension in his shoulders leaving as you found yourself relaxing in his arms, didn't hear the fast beating of his heart as your eyes started drooping, and finally you slumped against him. Damn, you didn't know you were that touch starved. You slightly turned your face into his neck and relaxed even more, one hand coming up to his shoulder and loosely gripping at the material of his coat, before settling again. It was like you completely forgot why you came out in the first place, which you did for sure. You never knew Hawks could be so comfortable to lay on.

—*—*—*—*—*—*—*—*—*—*—*—*—*—*—*—*—*

Hawks was relishing in the fact you relaxed against him so easily, but there was that twinge of worry. How long have you not been sleeping well if you went lax from the bare minimum of touches (affection?) from another person? You were a private person, he knew that. It was obvious from the way you kicked him out earlier that day, to when you immediately left for your room after you two ate. But here you were, basically cuddling with him. He'd take you back to you room, but when he got up you just clutched at his coat tighter and tensed. You didn't settle until he was just holding you again. Well fuck.

—*—*—*—*—*—*—*—*—*—*—*—*—*—*—*—*—*

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[nalgenewhore]

evil woman - two

TW: Drug Use, Drug Abuse, Addiction, Cheating 

It had been a couple weeks since Aelin’s birthday and Elide could count on one hand how many times she had been outside her apartment. 

She had opened the door for Rowan and that was only because he used his key and practically force fed her. 

Now he was aggressively washing dishes that he deemed too ‘dusty’, as she had only ordered takeout, not finding it in her to cook for herself. It just reminded her of how they used to spend evenings in his kitchen, far too happy and deliriously in love. Those were the good days, where he woke up with clear eyes and music flowing from his fingertips, the ones where he would pluck gentle melodies on the beat-up guitar he refused to give up, insisting that it was his lucky charm and had been there from the start. Elide would laugh and smile, tricking herself into thinking that this time it would last, this time would be the one where he realized that the other side of him was hurting her and would tell her that he was home forever. 

Those good days started slipping away from him and Elide spent her time hoping for another one. 

The bad days got worse and worse and became bad weeks, then bad months. He would stay out all night, would ignore her calls and texts, turned off his location. That old guitar went back in its case and shoved into a storage unit. His eyes became glazed with a cocktail of substances and Elide couldn’t remember the times she waited up with him, the times she stuck her fingers down his throat, how many times she held him as he sobbed, holding back her own tears as he shook and sweated on the tiled floor of their bathroom, the times she put up with the slew of nastiness he spewed everywhere. 

It shamed her. How long she had stayed, how long she had let her life go this way. 

That day she hopped on a plane to surprise him had been her last attempt at waiting for him. She told herself as she packed a bag, that if nothing changed, if he was still like that, she would leave that frozen montage her life had become and be able to breathe again. Be able to be happy. 

It was a blessing disguised as heartbreak. 

“Ro,” she said, “the dishes are clean.” 

“They aren’t.” 

“Yes they are, why can’t you just-” 

“Relax? Or be like you, lazy and uncaring?” His voice was harsh and cold and she didn’t know it would hurt this bad to have those words thrown at her. 

Elide raised her chin, staring down her nose at him, refusing to let him see the tears that threatened to well in her eyes. “Go home, Rowan.” 

Rowan’s icy fury cracked and a puff of air escaped his lips, “I- I didn’t mean that, Ellie, it wasn’t about you.” 

“Go home” she repeated, standing and walking past him to her room. Her door slammed shut behind her. 

Elide sat herself on the edge of the bed, looking down at her hands. She heard a shuffling noise and then Rowan’s voice, “I, I’m sorry, El. That wasn’t my place. There’s food in the fridge and I’ll call in the morning, alright? Bye.” She didn’t say anything, too stubborn to speak to him.

There was the sound of receding footsteps and then the door closed behind him. 

Elide let the tears slip down and after a moment or two, her sadness and desperation turned to white-hot anger. 

He had ruined everything. 

He wasn’t even around anymore and still, he was this huge shadow hanging over everybody’s head. He was the monster hiding in her closet, he was the demon that made her cower under her duvet. 

After her anger left her, she felt hollow and decided that she should probably eat something so she moved out to the kitchen, opening the fridge and finding it in herself to smile at the food Rowan had left, all of her favourites. 

She took a seran-wrap covered plate of pasta and threw the plastic into the trash, placing the pasta in the microwave and viciously stabbed her finger into the numbered buttons. Elide walked to her living room as the food was being heated, a note on the coffee table catching her eye. 

It had Rowan’s scratchy scrawl and she flipped it open, scanning the words. 

Ellie, 

I didn’t want to tell you, but L’s doing an interview tonight @ 7 with NTNS . It’s the first since the breakup, I’ll be watching so if you don’t end up doing so, I can tell you what happened. There’s food in the fridge and water in the jug. 

-R

A niggling voice told her not to watch it, to take her pasta and get back to bed, but enough was enough. 

She wouldn’t let him have this hold over her anymore. She’d told him he ruined her and now, now it was time to heal. 

Crumpling the note in her hand and letting it fall to the ground, she sat herself on the couch and picked up the remote, the channel already set to the show hosting the interview. 

Her breath hitched as the intro music played and Lorcan walked out across the stage, a smile, something completely unnatural and forced, splayed over his lips. Despite the lie he wore, he looked good, but then again, he’d looked good at Aelin’s and nearly every time she saw him before that. 

The audience cheered and clapped for him and it nearly made her see red. He did not deserve their applause, did not deserve their praise. 

She forced herself to breathe, This anger will only make it hurt more, breathe. 

Elide closed her eyes, imagining that she inhaled cold, blue air and exhaled hot, red air that took away her troubles. When she opened her eyes again and they focused on the TV, Lorcan was sitting in the chair, leaning back, his legs spread open. “Yeah, thanks, it’s good to be back,” he said. 

The host nodded and then his face grew grave, “Now, Lorcan, all of your fans, we’ve been wondering, how’s this past year been for you, after your break?” 

Elide saw the way his eyes shuttered, saw him shift like he was about to lie, but then, “Um, I’m not gonna lie to you guys, it’s been tough, really tough. I struggled a lot and I think it’s, ah, it’s starting to look up so…” 

“Well, that’s great, we’re all super happy for you, it’s been a rough-go lately, what with your ex and the cheating scandal-” 

“You know, that’s one of the reasons I wanted to come here tonight,” Lorcan interjected, running his hand through his hair, a nervous habit of his. Elide resented that she still knew his tics and habits. 

The host nodded, his face portraying slight surprise, “Of course, the floor’s all yours, Lorcan.” 

“So as you all know, my fiancée and I broke up about a year ago,” three-hundred and twenty seven days to be exact, “and there were a lot of rumours going around and they’re partly my fault because I didn’t deny any of the claims which led to people taking them as the truth.” He took a large breath, “They aren’t true. I was the one in the wrong, I was the unfaithful one, on multiple occasions, not the other way around. I hurt her, more than I’ve ever hurt another being, and she had had enough.” 

The audience and host gasped as Lorcan nodded, confirming the words he said. 

Elide was frozen on the spot, not able to move as he admitted everything, on live television, with thousands of viewers. The microwave beeped, but still, she could not move. 

Lorcan went on, “That moment of her leaving, I think that was really rock bottom for me. I’m ashamed that it took her reaching her breaking point for me to realize this mess that was my life. So,” he said, bobbing his head in a sort-of nodding manner but not quite, “I got sober and started to try and fix things.” 

“Oh, you guys are back together, that’s wonderful-”

Lorcan let out a harsh laugh, “Oh, gods, no. No, she’s not really the type of woman that gets her heart broken and comes crawling back,” he paused for a moment, “and I wouldn’t want her any other way.” 

The host tilted his head to the side, “Some might say it’s better to forgive and forget.” 

“Hm.” It was clear Lorcan did not agree and Elide had to stop herself from laughing. “It’s, it’s not as simple as that. It’s not a fairytale romance, it’s gritty and painful and she’s still hurting because of it. It wasn’t exactly easy for her either, this past year.” 

“Well, you know,” the host started, spreading his hands and Elide just knew she wouldn’t like what he was saying, “there is a risk in all relationships you enter, it’s not like you meant to hurt her. And she left you.” 

Lorcan frowned for a second, his hands curling into loose fists and she sat up, her eyes widening and she silently begged Hellas to control him, to not let his spitfire temper catch a spark. “I don’t really think that my intentions mattered because I did cause her pain, regardless of what I wanted to do. It’s not hard to leave when you’ve been driven out by your partner. The blame lies fully with me.” 

“Do you think there’s any hope for you two?” 

He sighed heavily, tilting his head to the side, “I-I don’t really know. I’ll always love her, but obviously, it’s not up to me. If it was, I would undo everything I did and we’d have never broken up.” 

“I think I can say for everyone here at NTSN and, I’m sure, our lovely viewers at home, we wish you the best of luck, Lorcan.” Elide hated the host’s voice, slick and oily. “Now, I know you had something you wanted to share with us, something about new music?” 

Lorcan nodded, “Yeah, ah, it was originally just a passion project I wrote in rehab and when I got out I played the song for my friend and she basically told me she would skin me alive if I didn’t write her an entire EP so here we are.” There was a grin tugging at his rosy lips, a twinkle of something playful in his eyes and Elide just knew the friend had been Aelin. 

That little spark in his dark eyes had her remembering, remembering everything good about them. How on rainy mornings when neither of them wanted to get up, he would hold her tightly against him or how they would stay in the shower until the water ran cold, too busy to notice when they were caught up in each other. Late at night, she would find him in the kitchen, shirtless as he made waffles or maybe French toast if he was feeling jumpy. Lazy afternoons spent basking in the sun and then he would jump up, his fingers itching to create something beautiful. 

He called her his muse, his inspiration. The only thing keeping him going, he told her. Everything, everything… was all for her. 

Blinking back tears, she focused back on the screen that showed the love of her life because despite herself, despite every single thing that had happened, that would never go away. A part of her soul would always be his. 

The audience was clapping as he was handed a guitar and spent a couple moments tuning it before he picked out a gentle, lovely, melody and sang. 

+*+*+*+*+*+*

Lorcan quelled the shaking in his hands as he passed the guitar off, offering a fake grin and nod to the cheering audience. They had eaten up the song, chanting Encore when he let the last note ring out and the cameras cut for a commercial break. An attendant came to grab the guitar he had never touched a day before in his life. It didn’t sound right, hadn’t sounded right any time he’d played it. 

Aelin, Fenrys, even Rowan, who hadn’t forgiven him, Rowan, who had crossed his arms and glowered at him every time they saw each other, told him it was perfect and that she would love it. But Lorcan knew it wouldn’t reach perfection until he played it on that beat up guitar, his and her initials carved into the neck, until she told him it was. 

“In five, four, three, two…” the lights came back on and he plastered that uncomfortable smile back on his lips, nodding as the audience cheered and the host praised him. 

“I’m going to have to say that may be my new favourite song of yours, that snippet you played was beautiful, just beautiful. Now, um, when you reached out to us for the interview, you told us you had some rather important news to share?” 

His heartbeat quickened and his hands became clammy. Lorcan nodded, swallowing past his tight throat. “Yes, I, ah, I wanted to share with you that this album will be my last. It’s been a journey and it’s time for me and my music to say goodbye.” 

The audience and host gasped theatrically, “Surely you’re not talking about retirement?”

“It’s been a long while since I’ve been home and I realized that everything I need was right where I was. I’ve been chasing something for a long time and I never knew what it was until I lost her. It’s time for me to say goodbye and let a new kid dazzle you all.” 

Forty-five minutes later, Lorcan was standing on his balcony, his forearms braced against the railing as he watched the busy streets of Orynth move. His hands shook and he wished for something, a drink or cigarette, anything to take the trembling away. He gritted his teeth and sipped from the glass of water next to him, hearing his phone blow up as it had been all night after his retirement announcement. 

His phone started ringing with a ringtone he didn’t remember so he picked it up, not recognizing the number calling him. He accepted the call and held it to his ear, “Hello?” 

“Hey. It’s... me.”

+*+*+*+*+*+*

im not even sorry 🤷‍♂️ thank u @westofmoon​ 4 helping me bounce ideas n stuff 💛💛💛 and @shyvioletcat​ for being my lovely lil beta again!! 

@myfeyrelady​ @kandasboi​ @schmlip-scribble​  @the-regal-warrior​ @westjades​ @empire-of-wildfire​ @rhysands-highlady​ @city-of-fae​ @shyvioletcat​ @alifletcher2012​ @tangledraysofsunshine​ @ttakeit @tswaney17​ @ourbooksuniverse​ @flora-and-fae​ @ella-enchanted27​ @noodlecatposts​ @cridhe-teine​ 

[faejilly]

I was tagged by @la-muerta​ & @facialteeth​ & @thedivinemissema​ for the WIP/Title Game

rules: post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. send me an ask with the title that most intrigues you and interests you and i’ll post a little snippet of it or tell you something about it!

AND THEN  by @shadoedseptmbr​ @msviolacea​ & @ravenclawnerd​ for the “stories you want to write... but for some reason haven’t yet”

so this will be a mish-mash of both? The WIPs will mostly have blurbs in this case (to fit the second meme) but you are still welcome to ask follow-up questions, if you’d like ;) Assuming you make it through the list, it is uh. Not Short.

Anyone who would like to play with their WIPs, please consider yourself tagged in either or both of these. :D

Misc Fic Folder:

“untitled document” - where I’m working on fictober fills so I have word-counts for my GYWO tracker. I am not working on these because Brains Are Dumb and also Going Back To Work Is Exhausting

I made a file called “YULETIDE!” which has nothing in it but I’m determined to finish this year so that is definitely technically a thing in the Unending WIP List of Doom worth mentioning. (Tho obviously that’s all I could say even if I had started, because anonymous.)

“coda-fics, rewatch!” -yes, that exclamation mark is important! it’s to keep me motivated! (it didn’t work). Much like untitled, this is for putting stuff so I can do word count tracking even if I don’t know what I’m doing. Currently I think it just says “MARYSE” because I was working on my SH 1x6 coda-fic and then got distracted and haven’t typed anything up yet. (Yay notebooks? Boo notebooks? Not even sure at this point.)

WNIP (works not in progress) Folder:

“TOG” - I had one vivid mental image of how Nicky & Joe met (blood-stained evil smiles?) but then no idea for a follow-up story and also the fandom is insane and I’m not sure I want to deal with all of *gestures vaguely* all that

“Shan Xia Notes” -for a TTRPG that never quite got off the ground; she was a semi-tragic selkie who was still in love with the evil queen/lady who stole her skin and I got to play her for like one session and she was surprisingly chaotic neutral, which wasn’t at all what I’d been expecting. But the game never really got off the ground, so I never had enough info to really delve into writing backstory fic

“post-Kruschev” -Kruschev’s List was the last episode of Scarecrow & Mrs King, and I was debating writing an epilogue in place of the s5 we never got, to try and tie up some loose ends, but the fandom’s three old-ladies in trench coats and I never quite worked up the gumption to get it anywhere

“Code Realize warm as silk sequel” -there is literally nothing in this file except “SEX! Only a little angst” because I wanted to write some “we can’t actually touch each other” smut but never actually did. 🤷‍♀️

BioWare (also all Not-In-Progress Anymore)

“seb/adelaide”, “Theia” & “DAI Erana” -these WIP folders were cannibalized for ficlets for the last few times I did fictober, and while originally I had ideas for longer epilogues for all three of them, at this point I don’t think any of the remaining bits could support a story any longer.

”whispers in the dark” -Maia Ryder never really got much fic at all; the cancellation of any further Andromeda stuff was really disheartening, and at this point I’d have to play the game again, and I don’t think I’m gonna manage that any time soon

”TSP” -a Mass Effect 3 Shepard AU collab project that kind of went off the rails, and our mutual brains/lives never quite seem to line up so we can try and rebuild it ”Ngaio & Tane” -my one truly ruthless Shepard (Alliance background, who romanced Traynor) whose father Tane Shepard was, I think, in PsyOps, and I wanted to figure out their complicated relationship but never really did know where I was going with it

”JE Zu & Yaling” -so I’ve rambled about my Tragic Sagacious Zu Romance Thoughts regarding Jade Empire more than once (#Icy Yaling should have most of it) but apparently I want to yell about it more than I want to actually write it? Whoops.

”CI sequel: 5 times fic?” -Cruel Intentions is a kinkmeme fill that I started and then it sat for like five years before I actually finished it, and I liked the ending, but it does leave a giant fucking question mark in terms of how those people got from there to where they are after the game, and I kind of wanted to write a proper h/c fic rather than just... leaving them wallowing in all that trauma?

But I didn’t. I don’t even remember for sure how I wanted to frame the 5/1 of it all, besides it being something sad about allowing people to see you or touch you in some way. (Prayers maybe, since I think there was definitely some Sebastian & Fenris & faith stuff going on in there.)

“candles” -Merribela prompt fill that I never was happy with? Not sure what I might do with it at this point, so it’s just sitting there all sad and lonely and neglected-like.

Shadowhunters

pt1: WIP LIST ONLY

“Persuasion” -so I keep trying to write Persuasion AUs in many fandoms because it’s my favorite Austen, but I think I like it too much, I have no real solid concept of how I’d transform it, and if I don’t have anything else to say about different characters within that framework, I have no push to actually write anything? Also this SH version of it suffered from MASSIVE scope creep when I started outlining and it got too big for me to handle so I like, killed it twice? Whoops. This one is really probably never gonna happen.

“oosdt sequel” -I wanted to write more about the Forest That Eats People and Magnus & Alec as Guardians Between Worlds, and also some background Magnus’ Found Family & Lightwood Family Feels (maybe some clizzy?) and I left a Madzie plot-thread dangling from the first one on purpose even but I think this one had too many ideas and not enough focus so it’s sort of sprawling all over a doc with a lot of “???” in it

“procedural-ish” -this was originally going to be a sex-farce. and then it turned more serious. and then maybe kind of copaganda which was uncomfortable in terms of the Everything That Is The News in 2020, and then maybe it was more a Mafia AU and at that point I had self-inflicted tone whiplash and I wished the voices in my head were a little more forthcoming about their plans so I stopped before I brained myself on my computer monitor in frustration.

“I had rather a rose than live forever” -I started a reverse!verse Malec (Shadowhunter!Magnus, High Warlock!Alec) for bingo last year, and I couldn’t quite get it together in time, so I made a moodboard inspired by the bits I’d started instead. I may see if one of my prompts from Bingo this year help me finish it?

“fall fright fest (practical magic  au)” -exactly what it says on the tin! almost exactly a year old & neglected! IDEK ANYMORE (I talked about this one with the WIP meme last time tho: here)

“priest!kink theology?” -I thought it was gonna be smut? I like priest!kink. I have made other people like it and yell at me even! But then I kept diverging into demon!Magnus thinking about Priest!Alec’s faith and as usual, IDEK ANYMORE *laughs*

(If they’re remotely canon-adjacent or divergent, a bunch of these are in here because I need to rewatch the show to get the pacing/timing/tone right and I haven’t, and I don’t know why, because I enjoy the show, but BRAINS! Are Dumb! So I guess that’s it?)

“I do” -I have tried to write this damnable Malec arranged marriage fic like six different times. I have signed up for fic exchanges and bangs with it, I have rewritten massive sections, trying to change tone or structure or POV or whatever, and it basically comes down to they like each other too fast and I keep not gutting it enough to get back to a useful pace, but by the time I realized that I was on take six and kind of sick of it. I may get back to it eventually

“wing!fic” -canon divergent in early s1, trying to deal with the consequences of Simon’s kidnapping as the Truly Serious Event that it should have been. It uh. Got heavier than I expected with those consequences (considering it was originally just supposed to be Alec’s wings flirting with Magnus) and also see above re: rewatching for pacing.

“2x20 aftermath/date night/pandemonium porn“ -yes that is the actual wip title. It used to be “spite fic” because I was originally inspired by fighting against a lot of fic!Alec characterization that was clearly based more on the books and ATG syndrome than the Alec in the show, which is the Alec I know and like and want to read about. BUT, pacing and etc. again, I think. Also I have somehow entirely lost my knack for writing porn, which makes it difficult to finish something originally intended to be smut!fic. Or even teasing almost!smut.

“rubbish heap” -so this is about three different fics that I realized complemented each other really well so they’re now all in the same file as I try to turn them into the sequel of “with an if in its soul”. It includes amnesia, parabatai lore shenanigans, a s3 rewrite, and some truly awful Owl adjustments that make me wince in horrified authorly delight and pain. BUT, as with the other ones in this file, the scope is large and I normally write short-fic and I kind of just threw up my hands in exasperation. I may have to break it back up into the three different fics instead, if I ever actually want to write it. Them? But also I need to take better notes on s3 to make sure I have what I need in here.

SH Pt 2: Started posting or not yet in hiatus because it’s actually almost ready to be a thing in the real world! maybe!?

“kisses (firsts)” -I actually started publishing this one, a “series of firsts” that was supposed to be kind of relationship milestones and kind of an excuse for smut, and then there wasn’t that much smut and I lost momentum and also dear lords & ladies the timeline is stupid, wtf. I may not ever add to this one, tbqh. It doesn’t stop in a terrible place, and they’re all ficlets so they stand alone all right.

“clizzy epilogue” -this is blank atm, it’s more a reminder for me to keep poking away at my “girls who can’t breathe air, only fire” collection BECAUSE I WOULD LIKE TO ACTUALLY GET TO THE CLIZZY AT SOME POINT

"mer!alec" -pts 2-4 of a series, but apparently having an actual plan gets in the way of me *writing* the thing, and I haven't managed to throw the half an outline far enough away from my brain to be able to write again. Or something like that.

"ibhww" -if broken hearts were whole is a soulmate fic I started a million years ago, and purposefully set aside to finish some other WIPs because I thought they'd be quick, and now it's just buried under two and a half years of regret and shame so it's hard to get back to it

"iafy" -i am for you is a delightful & frothy semi-epistolary fluff piece that also just lost momentum because Life & 2020 & etc. It's far and away the most popular thing I've ever posted on AO3, which also makes me feel weird sometimes, and I feel like the fact that there's no grand conclusion planned, just a bit more fluff and settling in, might end up being disappointing? Basically, it's the first time I think I've psyched myself out about reader expectations, and until I get over that I'm going to have trouble finishing the last couple chapters. (There really are probably only two more chapters though. IT’S SO CLOSE, I wish I could just... write it. And yet?)

“fake-hating” -I do not like fake dating as a trope that much, I just do not get it, but I love outside POVs and arranged marriages and there’s this delighful tumblr post about how they wished there was more fic about people who were together but had to pretend they werent’, and uh. This may be that? Eventually? I’m not exhausted by my failure to finish it yet, so it’s still in the regular folder rather than the hiatus folder, even though nothing’s been posted for it.

AND I THINK THAT’S IT?

Not as terrible as it could be, but still. MANY WORDS THAT MAY NEVER SEE THE LIGHT OF DAY. Posting the equivalent of one’s old ratty sketchbook is always a weird feeling. :D

[lveclouds]

little things ( wei wuxian x lan wangji)

genre: romance, fluff, just tooth-rotting fluff, basically wei wuxian being adorable, and lan wangji being smitten 

warnings: very cheesy, a bit angsty, mxm

a/n: this is my first non-bts and mxm drabble! if you don’t feel comfortable reading this, then please do not keep reading. i do not want to make others feel as if they have to read this. also i’m a huge fan of the untamed after just having finished the show last week! and i love wangxian with all my heart and they are actual soulmates ok? this drabble was based off a drawing one of my mutuals (@outroshooky​) sent me of them and i just had to write something about it. 

word count: yeah i dont know anymore 

the air was crisp and clean as wangji stood in an alcove in the forest that surrounded the cloud recesses, gently cradling a snow white bunny in his arms. bichen was carefully propped up against a tree next to him, its interior glinting softly in the warm sun. he looked down at the warm bundle in his arms, eyeing it fondly. though he never showed it, wangji was very fond of rabbits. he’d been taking care of them for a while now, even stopping to feed them occasionally when passing by. though he rarely got to do so due to the amount of chaos and turmoil happening amongst the four clans, wangji still made sure that the bunnies were safe and sound. 

months had passed since all the conflict had subsided, but wangji doubted that the peace would last long. after all, there were still a few sightings of ghost puppets in small villages. luckily, they didn’t harm anyone, but that was only because wangji had acted quickly, traveling to different villages to deal with them. and, after sixteen years, the yiling patriarch had somehow come back to life, and people were unaware that he was now among them. luckily, the only person who knew of his real identity was himself and his brother, who had vowed not to disclose the news. they both knew that if the news spread, conflict and vengeance would surely ensue. 

wangji sighed heavily, fingers idly petting the rabbit’s soft fur. ever since he had found out that wei wuxian was alive, he hadn’t been the same, or rather, he was having trouble coming to terms with it. wangji still remembered how his heart had felt as if it had been ripped out of his chest as he watched wei ying willingly let go of his hand and fall to his death. the pain that it brought him was nearly unbearable and wangji had never felt so much anger and sadness in his life. though he had never spoken it out loud, wangji knew he loved him. likewise, wei ying never confessed either, but after so many years and all the suffering and turmoil they endured together, lan zhan could now read the former like a book. he was very open with his words and actions, always letting people know what was on his mind and if they said something he disagreed with, wei ying would not hesitate to say so. and while most people found it quite disrespectful and shameless, lan zhan secretly thought it was a bit attractive, in a way. he wasn’t afraid to voice his opinions and stand up for what he believed in, even if it meant cruel punishment or harsh words being thrown his way. his uncle would be ashamed if he knew, and wangji made sure he never let his true feelings come to light. he usually kept a stoic expression on his face, almost as if he had turned off all his emotions, and that was what kept people away from him. wangji knew he came off as intimidating and perhaps a bit annoyed all the time, but maybe it was for the best that people saw him that way, for vulnerability was something that most saw as being weak. 

and because of his reputation amongst the four clans, which of course included his own, wangji had to learn how to put up a wall of sorts around him, not letting anyone in. and, of all people, the infamous yiling patriarch was the one to break through those walls that he had put up. and maybe he, lan zhan, didn’t necessarily mind it. he felt like a young teenage girl whenever he heard wei ying call out his name. “lan zhan!” he would say, that devastating smile forming on his handsome face, causing his heart to flutter. it was a bit silly, he thought, getting a bit giddy when wei ying smiled at him or even did as much as glance in his direction, but lan zhan knew that was a feeling he’d have to get used to. 

he’d been so lost in thought that he didn’t notice wei ying sneak up behind him, resting his chin on his shoulder, his soft hair tickling his neck. “lan zhan.” he said, which nearly caused wangji to drop the bunny he was holding in shock. “wei ying.” “so you are fond of rabbits.” lan zhan didn’t have to turn around to know that he was smiling. still, he said nothing, even as wei ying pulled away and moved to stand beside him, bending down to pick up a bunny, gently cradling it in his arms as if it were a newborn baby. said man looked down at the bunny and started to coo at it, occasionally scrunching his nose and petted its head, laughing when its ears practically drooped. then, he held up the bunny so it was eye level with him and smiled. “you’re so cute. i wanna bring you back with me to yunmeng, but i’m no longer welcome there and you’re happier here, right? and i’ve heard lan zhan been’s taking care of you. he’s funny, acting indifferent when really, he’s fond of you, just like i am.” wangji hid the small smile that was threatening to form as he watched the scene unfold. at first, wei wuxian had irritated him, but as time went on, those feelings of hatred and annoyance had eventually grown into ones of love and fondness. wangji was new to the feeling, for no one had loved him romantically nor had he loved anyone that way. he had never experienced such a feeling, for he was constantly studying and training and pursuing any sort of intimate relationship seemed the least of his concerns. 

but now that wei ying had stumbled his way into his life with his devastating smile and his shameless remarks and bold actions that were enough to leave him flustered, wangji now knew what love felt like. he knew that when you loved someone or something with all your heart, it was almost painful because your heart would ache and yearn for their presence. he also knew what it was like to want to give up everything for that person, even your life. there were numerous occasions where wangji felt like taking an arrow or a sword for wei ying, and everytime said man was stabbed or injured, it had felt like his heart was being broken into a million pieces. he hated seeing wei ying cry and suffer, and found himself wishing they could trade places. and seeing wei ying practically commit suicide that fateful day felt like his heart was being ripped out of his chest. after his death, wangji had holed himself up in the library pavilion, refusing to leave. he threw himself into composing and reading, anything to try and ease his mind. of course, nothing worked. everything he did reminded him of wei ying. 

but now wei ying was alive, smiling and laughing and making him fall in love all over again. wangji had waited sixteen years for a miracle to happen, and now, it had. wei ying gently set the bunny down on the ground before turning to face him. “lan zhan.” wangji ignored the way his heartbeat quickened and forced himself to make eye contact. wei ying’s gorgeous brown eyes met his, and that devastating smile formed on his lips once again. “i love you.” 

those three words were enough to cause a slight blush to appear on wanjgi’s face. damn wei wuxian and his bluntness, he thought, feeling his heart practically pound against his chest. finally, lan wangji allowed himself a small smile. he looked at wei ying like he was the only star in the sky, and when wangji saw those deep brown eyes glisten with happy tears and the devastating smile deepening, he knew that wei ying knew what he meant. 

others would say that their love is a strange one. but to wangji, it was unique. they weren’t overly open about it like most were, but they didn’t have to be. after all, actions in fact did speak louder than words, and wangji made sure wei ying knew that he loved him by rushing to defend him, reputation be damned. and. sometimes, a simple gaze said it all. i love you. i will cherish you for the rest of my days and i would risk everything for you. i would die for you. i would risk tarnishing my reputation if it meant i could be with you. you are my world. i would go through hell and back for and with you. 

love didn’t always have to be “loud” and “obvious”. it could be subtle and reserved. wangji showed his love for wei ying in little ways, whether it was through a loving gaze or even simply defending him, they both knew their love was like no other. after all, they were soulmates, and while wangji didn’t necessarily believe in destiny, he did believe in fate. after all, it was what brought them together again. 

a/n: this took me FOREVER to type but it was worth it!! lmk what you guys think of this!! 

dedicated to @jinies​ @yoonseok​ @outroshooky​ @starlightstae​ @glitterjoons​ 💜💜

[smoljoelito]

obra de arte || joel pimentel

word count: 2,499

requested by/request: my own idea I threw into my queue lmfao

description: you draw joel pimentel per request, but you don’t expect him to see it.

warnings: fluff

masterlist

tags: @quierick @mepuserojito @ericks-mala-actitud @woowoodaaboo @ella-se-vuelve-loca @joelsaww @honeyzhong @sarswilltakeyouout @pimentelssmile @whippedforcnco @notsoteenagegirl @richukisbb @besosdecnco @emsy55 @cloudfiveclub @erickspretend1 @hardtoadore

———————————————————————————————————--

Everyone has their outlet in life, as you like to call it.

An outlet, to you, any activity you do that brings you a happiness high or gives you a sense of calamity. For some, it’s working out. The intensity and achievement of small goals gives a lot of people a shot of dopamine that becomes an addiction. For others, a creative outlet suits them best. Some people sew, draw, sing, do DIYs, and/or dance and use it as their escape from the stressors of life. Then there’s the rare few, that their outlet is their job.

For you, you’re lucky to say that you have been able to take your favorite thing in the entire world, art, and make a living off it. Never in your life did you think you’d be able to do such a thing, but after beginning to innocently post a few artworks on your art Instagram account your friends encouraged you to make, you began to grow.

It was a snowball effect, starting slow, but as soon as the bigger art accounts began to repost your drawings, it grew faster then you could ever imagine. Whimsical art was never your forte, but realism for you came naturally. You could draw anything; humans, nature, dogs, cats, buildings, etc, as easily as breathing air. Some people even began to call you an art prodigy, which you never truly believed.

Your favored medium? Anything that you can make art with. You go through phases, sometimes loving markers for quick art, topping them with colored pencils for details. Sometimes, especially for nature, you enjoy pastels, oil, and chalk, to get the beautiful blending of colors needed to successfully make the picture come alive. Your favorite, however, seems to be painting, specifically watercolor. As much as you love oil paints, there’s nothing like layering watercolors together, giving a gentle and soft finish, but also an imperfect look that seems to draw the whole piece together as one.

Most say you have the ability to make anything come alive; from highlights to lowlights, from perfecting skin colors and providing the correct background to make it all tie together. It’s a special gift of yours; being able to find whatever makes people’s eyes sparkle, and this is how you have your success as an artist. You have the ability to make your models look alive by putting them in a situation where they automatically feel the most lively, where you can see the natural glow coming off their skin. The sparkle in their eyes isn’t painted on, and the flush in their cheeks isn’t just the paint, but it’s the model, and artist, in the prime. People look better when you decide to paint them, it’s like magic, how everything comes together so perfectly on the canvas. It’s like you have an innate ability to make absolutely anything, beautiful. 

Now on a full-ride scholarship to your favored art school in LA, you’re living a dream. Most of your artworks for school, you sell for money, but in the summer, you take commissions and requests to keep your talent and extra money up. So, at the moment, you’re working on a gouache watercolor painting of Joel Pimentel, a request you recently got. You know the band he’s from, since you’ve been listening to them for quite a while, but never so much into it to learn their names.

When you got the request, you decided to do it out of other’s you’d received since, for some reason, you had an incredibly good feeling about it. Your intuition is usually fairly good and right, so you decided to paint the curly-haired boy, whose name you just learned. 

Finding the right picture seemed to take you longer than the drawing, but after searching his Instagram account, photographer’s accounts, and google images, you found the most candid photo you could find of him smiling, seeming to be in his element, and he is.

The picture was taken inside of what appears to be a recording studio, but that’s not going to matter anyway since you’re making the background a single color; blue ombré, light blue at the top to accentuate his hair, and then dark blue at the bottom. Painting him, however, would be done in black and white. You enjoy messing with colors in such a way, just to experiment and keep creativity flow up.

With the picture in front of you, you begin your sketch. For some reason, once you get the basic shapes of his face and body down, you always start with the eyes. Eyes are your favorite thing to sketch because they are so versatile. With a few highlights, you can make them look alive and glowy, and with a few more highlights and some shadings, tear-filled and irritated. To perfect them, that’s where you always start. Then you move up to the hair, and then down the rest of the body. 

When the basic outline is done, you already have pride in the drawing, excited to finish it. Painting it is your favorite part, and once you get a basic grey wash across the entire drawing, you start with, surprise, his eyes. Once you get down the basic color blocking, you begin to add details; small white highlights around the inner corner to make his eyes look extra radiant. From there, you work outwards, building shadows in his face and hair, then letting it dry while you start on the bottom half of his body. 

This is how you work, layer by layer, until the clock reads 3:11 A.M. and your eyes are shutting every few seconds, requiring you to jolt yourself awake. After cleaning up your art hands, which is what you call your hands after they’ve been covered with whatever medium(s) you’ve been using for the day (A/N: this is what I call my hands after I’ve made some art since they’re trashed lol) and you wash your face, you practically collapse in bed. 

Upon waking up the next morning with the brilliant sunlight of the morning lighting up your room, you groan at the light pounding of your head. It’s your own curse, you’re a perfectionist, and you absolutely cannot stop doing anything you’ve started until it’s completed. 

You pop a few Advil that you leave by your bed, gulping them down with some water before pulling back the covers, exposing your body to the AC. A hiss escapes your lips as the cold meets your body rather gently, brushing over your skin like a light kiss, yet leaving behind shivers and goosebumps in its wake. Quickly, you snatch your favorite hoodie you wear around the house, pulling it on your body, before letting your toes greet the chilly floor. 

After you freshen up in the bathroom, your feet pad against the floor towards the kitchen to get yourself a cup of coffee. While it brews, you head back to your art desk you keep by the window of your apartment, finding the painting of Joel staring back up at you. A gasp escapes your lips as you hold it up, heart-swelling at how good it turned out. Just as you take out your camera to take a photo of it, you can hear your Keurig spit out the last bit of your fresh cup of coffee.

Once you have mixed in enough cream and sweetener, you head back into the living room, setting the cup down on a coaster on your desk. From there, you pick up the painting, signing it quickly, before hanging it on the white wall of your apartment. After you set up some white lights, you snap a picture of it with your camera. 

While you work at your desk, you leave the painting on the wall for fear of spilling your coffee on it, yet you have no fear of it spilling on your computer. The realization of your art life makes you chuckle as you plug in your camera to your computer.

After a few quick edits, you send the photo to your phone before uploading it to Instagram and your story, making sure to tag Joel and CNCO to help with exposure. From there, you set down your phone and put away your computer, sipping on your coffee as you think about your next possible artwork. 

Once you’ve downed your first cup of coffee, you stand up, putting all your lights away and placing the painting of Joel in a portfolio case, before picking up your phone.

A gasp escapes your lips as you find your phone blowing up with notifications from Instagram, a few specific ones catching your eye.

cncomusic has uploaded your post to their story.

cncomusic has tagged you in a post.

cncomusic has mentioned you in a post.

joelpimentel has uploaded your post to their story.

joelpimentel  has tagged you in a post.

joelpimentel has mentioned you in a post.

joelpimentel wants to send you a message. 

Quickly, you open Instagram, reposting the notifications to your story as you squeal with excitement. Then, you head to your direct messages, accepting the request to allow him to message you.

joelpimentel: Hey! You’re drawing is so good, I love it so much and so does my mom. We were wondering if we can buy it off you if you’d be willing to sell it to us. Thanks so much! You’re really talented :)

Your jaw practically hits the floor as you stare bug-eyed at the message. Before your brain can even process it, your thumbs are typing.

artbyy/n: Hey! Thank you so much! I really appreciate it. Unfortunately, I won’t sell it to you, but I will send it free of charge :)

Almost immediately, you see he begins typing back.

joelpimentel: You’re welcome, anytime :). No, there’s no way I’m not paying for it! That had to take forever. My mom says she’s going to pay you.

artbyy/n: LOL it didn’t take me that long. The medium I used wasn’t my most expensive medium and it was a request, not a commission, so I don’t really mind. I mean you already reposted my art and tagged me in it on your account and on CNCO’s account, that’s payment enough. My follower count is skyrocking lol thank you!

joelpimentel: Fine, okay. You’re welcome lol. Do you want to ship it to me?

artbyy/n: Sure! I can get it in the mail today if you send me your address right now.

joelpimentel: Alright, here it is! Thanks again :)) My mom is really excited.

artbyy/n: LOL well, tell her I said thanks! And you’re welcome, anytime!

Quickly, you take one of those long yellow envelopes and write the address on it with a brush pen to add to the artsy vibe. Calligraphy is also something you do in your free time, just to take a break from art sometimes. Then, you take the artwork and slide it in between two pieces of cardboard inside the yellow envelope before sealing it off with a rubber stamp with your initials on it. 

After putting on a stamp and paying for shipping, you take your keys and slide on some shoes, before walking outside to find your mailbox. Unfortunately, all the mailboxes are on the first floor of your apartment building, so you hop on an elevator and take the ride all the way down.

Around ten minutes later, you find your way back into the apartment, locking the door and kicking off your shoes. You head back over to your phone, finding many new notifications from Instagram.

joelpimentel liked your photo.

joelpimentel liked your photo.

joelpimentel liked your photo.

joelpimentel liked your photo.

It goes on and on for many notifications making you giggle, and then you see there’s a new message from him.

joelpimentel: Your art is amazing holy crap is there anything you can’t draw? Sorry for bombing your phone my mom and I were looking LOL.

artbyy/n: LOL I tend to draw the same things over and over again, so probably haha. It’s totally okay! A celebrity is liking all of my pictures and you think I’M complaining? Also, hi mom lol.

joelpimentel: I think you’re wrong you could probably draw blind. LOL you still have a right to complain. She said hi and wants to know if you speak Spanish cause she saw some of your captions are in Spanish.

artbyy/n: I actually have drawn blind before! It’s a form of art called the blind contour line drawing! Lol yeah I do! I love speaking Spanish so much I would speak it over English if I could. I took classes in high school and now I’m getting a minor in it! Last year I went to Ecuador to study abroad and I just got back a few weeks ago. It feels weird to speak English lol.

joelpimentel: I know the feeling. When I travel with my band and speak Spanish all the time then flip languages it feels unnatural. That’s so awesome you learned it though! Not a lot of people speak it that weren’t raised in a Latin family. My mom says that’s really cool and wants to know how you liked Ecuador.

artbyy/n: Thanks! I know right. I love the language and culture. I just love languages and cultures in general though. Really I could sit and listen to someone tell me about their culture for hours. In my free time last year I started teaching myself Italian too just because languages are cool. 

artbyy/n: Ecuador is the most beautiful country I have ever been too. I cried like a baby when I left. Everyone was so nice there, including my host family. I miss my host mom so much :( she’s the light of my life lol.

joelpimentel: I love languages too! I try to learn a few words from every country I visit. The world is an incredibly cool place haha. I’m interested just like you are :). 

joelpimentel: Ecuador is amazing. One of my bandmates, Chris, is from Ecuador! He’d be so happy to hear you loved it. Aw, I’m sorry :( hopefully, you can visit soon.

The conversation goes on for hours like this, and you only realize when your stomach starts rumbling from lack of food. Really, you’re never on your phone, so it’s odd for you to sit, staring at a screen all day long. A smile has been plastered across your face the entirety of the conversation, and you can’t help but hope he keeps talking to you for a while. It seems you both have the same likes and dislikes, so the flow of conversation is some of the easiest you’ve ever had. 

The smile on your face lasts the rest of the day as you two happily text until it is time to go to bed. When he wishes you goodnight, you swoon, phone dropping onto your chest as you stare up at the ceiling grinning.

Oh boy, you’re in for some trouble.

———————————————————————————————————--

do we want a part two?

[dearlazerbunny]

Lie to Me (Ch. 13 of 28)

Pairings: Loki x Reader

Genre/Ratings: M eventually (aiming for a slow burn here); warnings for kidnapping and subsequent anxiety/PTSD (will be marked before every chapter)

Words: 1900

Summary: If you had to guess what the captured, traitor, trickster god Loki Laufeyson wanted or needed at this moment, a babysitter would be far, far down on the list. (Set after the events of Avengers 1.)

SHOUTOUT TO @molmcb and @jessiejunebug, whom I have now kidnapped and am holding hostage in my bedroom so they can be my full-time cheerleaders

Requested Tags: @deraniel, @iamverity,  @yasnooshka24, @wegingerangelica, @themusingsofmany, @dark-night-sky-99, @tarynkauai, @stuffandstuff-stuff, @angelicshinigami, @my-current-fandom-is, @geekysimmerthings

Walking into Loki’s cell the next day is… difficult. The screams you threw at him are still echoing in your ears, the alcohol (or sudden lack of) is still making your brain sluggish, and your head hurts from all the crying you did late in the night. You’re dreading his glare; the icy tone of his voice. Did you just undo months of friendship in one day? You very well might’ve. He trusted you with his fears and struggles about Thor and you threw it back in his face for what? Some sort of twisted reassurance that your life was worse than his at that moment? Horrible.

There are so many apologies lingering on your tongue you feel choked with them, and there’s a terrible tightness in your limbs. The feeling intensifies when you walk in and he’s got that awful blank look in his eyes just like he did when you first met him. It scares you to no end; thinking you might’ve lost him.

“Hey.”

His gaze does shift your way as you approach, thank god. You open your mouth to pour out your apologies, but nothing comes out. Useless. In a fit of anxiety, your fingertips end up brushing the wall of glass in front of you. There’s still a smudge on it from where you smacked it the day before. Ugh. Rather than try and put what you’re feeling into words, you let your forehead bang against the glass, eyes on your feet. “I’m a terrible person.” Your face scrunches in effort to hold back an unexpected wave of emotion. “I-”

“Tell me about him.”

“Huh?” His tone is still cool- a little more reserved- but you know an olive branch when you see one.

“Your brother. Tell me about him.”

“O-okay.” Where to start? Your indecisiveness wiggles its way out through your fingers, and they flex against the glass. “Well. He was super smart, first of all. The type of person who could walk into a room and instantly see all the connections: who was with who, who would stab the other in the back before the month was up, who was nervous or who was too cocky for their own good. He read people… flawlessly.”

You tilt your head a little, letting memories bubble up in your mind. “I idolized him as a kid. He was everything I wanted to be. He got all my parents’ attention, and I knew that, but I basically didn’t mind because he deserved to be the favorite, that’s how awesome he was. Does that make any sense?”

“What changed?”

You sigh, and the sadness in it almost cracks your chest open. “Kids… see what they want to see. They want to believe their brothers are their own personal knights in shining armor. That they can do no wrong. I lived in that denial for… well. Way too long.”

“My parents played a part in that, I think. They tried to hide the worst of it from me. If he was gone for three days and I asked where he was, they’d say he was just staying with a friend. When he came home high or drunk he had the flu or food poisoning, and I had to stay away from him because he might be contagious. I think deep down I knew something was wrong, but I just ignored it. I loved him, I loved them. I walked on eggshells because I didn’t want anything to shatter this illusion we had built.”

You’re suddenly exhausted. Opening up these boxes, ones that are usually duct taped tightly shut and squeezed into some deep dark crevice if your brain, always weighs on your shoulders. Rather than going back to your chair you just sit down on the floor, letting yourself lean against the glass.

“One night, when I was- fifteen, maybe? I’d just started high school, I think. A bunch of his friends had come over to hang out and he invited me to join them.” You pause, swallowing a bit of nausea. “I was so excited to be hanging out with all his cool friends. They gave me drinks, told me I was pretty, made me feel so grown up and important. But I started feeling… weird, after a few hours, so I wanted to go to bed, but they made me stay. I remember sitting on the couch and just… spacing. Staring at the wall while everyone talked around me. It took me forever to notice the hand on my leg.”

You can physically feel the intensity of Loki’s gaze ratchet up to twenty. When you look at him, his green eyes are sparkling dangerously. He knows where this is going. You wish he didn’t.

“It turns out one of his friends had a bit of a crush on me. He started, you know. Rubbing my leg, tucking my hair behind my ear. I was zoned out but enough of me was there to realize something was… not good. Zach-” saying his name makes your heart sink a little- “Zach was on the other side of the room, but when I finally got his attention, he-” you close your eyes, like the scene is playing out right in front of you and you can’t bear to watch. “He just looked at me with this total… indifference, and he said, oh, he already paid, so. He can do whatever he wants. And he went right back to his beer.”

It’s been ten years since that night and you can still remember how the adrenaline set in, how it pushed through your body like lightning when you smacked the guy’s hand away from your bra and he looked at you with murderous eyes. “I was lucky that I’d only had one cup of- whatever they gave me. I was still mostly in my right mind. I said no, and the guy got mad and started screaming about how many grams of ketamine he traded for this, then went to confront Zach about it. This huge fight started- I don’t remember most of it. I’m pretty sure I was comatose by the time punches were thrown, but luckily everyone was too occupied to notice. One of the neighbors called the police, they broke the door down and arrested everyone, and they found fifteen year old me drugged up on the couch, talking in circles like I didn’t have a care in the world.”

Waking up in a hospital bed, remembering nothing, was terrifying. Having the memories come back one by one, at the police’s gentle prompting, was even more so. “I’m still not sure what they roofied me with. The nurses never told me. But I was in the hospital for a day or so.”

Some sort of self-deprecating, bitter laugh escapes you. “So yeah. My brother sold me for drugs, I guess. That was a fun one to handle at fifteen.”

“And he is dead?”

“What, planning on reviving him so you can kill him again? I’ll help.” That does soften Loki’s expression just a fraction. “Yeah, he was high and drunk on god knows what and decided to go out to some party. Ran a red light, took out a couple of cars with his own. The storm didn’t help much I’m sure.” Your fingernails dig into your palms, leaving crescent moons on your skin. “He dragged so many people down with him that day. Good people. People who didn’t deserve it. If he had just taken himself out I don’t think anybody would have cried, but- I guess he had a penchant for ruining lives up until the very end.”

“He deserves far worse than he received.” There is unrestrained rage in Loki’s voice, a fiery sort of protectiveness that would be scary if it wasn’t protectiveness over you.

“Easy, Trickster. He’s long gone. Though I’m inclined to agree.” You knot your fingers together. “I know it doesn’t excuse anything about what happened yesterday. I was- terrible. But I was just so jealous. You have a brother who would do anything for you, who loves you and cares about you, and- that’s something I’ve wanted for so long. I know your relationship with Thor is far from perfect, and you have absolutely every right to feel the way you do. I just think you’re blind to what you have, sometimes.”

Loki doesn’t say anything for a long time, and neither do you. Your words hang in the air between the pair of you, tugging on the rough edges of both your minds, wanting resolution. To your surprise, he gets up off his cot and comes to sit in front of you, mirroring your cross-legged pose so that you’re face to face. It’s nice, if you try to forget there’s layers of reinforced barrier separating you. Absentmindedly, your subconscious paints a scene where you and he are sitting, talking, laughing- somewhere comfortable, somewhere there’s no pressure, where you could take his hand and let his thumb smooth over the scars on your palm.

“Gods are not impervious to mortal plights. We love, we war, we hate, we hold petty feuds and retaliate against the ones we love. We are not always things to be worshipped or revered- quite the opposite; I believe many of your myths regarding us are what you mortals call cautionary tales.”

You raise an eyebrow. “I’m sorry, am I in the midst of hearing the one and only Loki Laufeyson admit that he’s not perfect? Should I be recording this?”

“Hush, Witling, I am trying to help. My point is, if even the gods are not perfect, you cannot expect yourself to be.” Loki taps on the glass right where your heart is. “There are no apologies necessary. I have endured far worse by the hands of people who would never think to be remorseful for their actions.”

You frown. “That doesn’t make it okay. You still deserve common decency.”

“You were hurting, badly. My only complaint is that I was not able to be of more use.”

“I don’t know, you made a pretty good verbal punching bag.”

You’re treated to an exquisite eye roll, but it’s balanced by the fond smile on his face. “Yes, well, do try to not make it a large habit, darling. I am quite fragile, you know.”

“Fragile my ass. According to field reports you got ground-pounded by the Hulk multiple times and walked away with a bruise.”

“A very unpleasant bruise! Have you no sympathy?”

You wrinkle your nose at him. “Shoulda thought about that before you angered the jolly green giant.”

“I beg your pardon, absolutely nothing about him was jolly.”

You have to giggle at the miffed expression on his face. “It’s an expression, Trickster. And it’s not my fault you have no self preservation skills.”

“And here I thought you were on my side.”

He says it jokingly, but something about his words tugs at you the wrong way. “I am on your side.”

Loki stops and looks you in the eyes, startled by your sudden sincerity. “There is no need to throw your lot in with the enemy. Mine is not the team you wish to be on.”

“Agree to disagree, I suppose.”

He looks at you for a long moment, gaze digging into your head to seek out all the little things you aren’t saying. But eventually he just nods, conceding. “I suppose we shall.”

A/N: Happy Thursday! Apparently I missed national fanfic/fanfic author’s day, so here’s a belated celebration :D

[alitoowell]

One year—365 days—and still I cannot find the words to do justice to the magnitude of gratitude that I feel, and will forever feel, for the magic that was October 22, 2017.  It’s funny because meeting Taylor was always in my mind as a possibility.  In that people DO meet her, so it’s possible.  But I always viewed it as possible, yet unachievable.  People would meet her, but they wouldn’t be ME.  Simply because the odds were too great of being noticed or picked from a crowd.  So I never planned out how it would go, or where, or what I would say, which left me even more absolutely floored when it happened.  Even a year later my brain cannot quite wrap around the fact that the woman who I’ve looked up to since I was 15, who’s music has been the soundtrack to my life for an entire decade, had me over at her house?  I got to hug her?  Dance with her?  And listen to her entire unreleased album and the stories behind it?  That seems unbelievable.  And it will always seem unbelievable because people. don’t. do. that.  But Taylor does.  My friends have been encouraging me for a whole year straight to type everything out, and I never quite got there.  The task seemed too great, I didn’t know where to start, or what words to choose to capture those memories adequately.  In one of those moments of frustration I realized I actually already had written nearly everything—in the no less than 63 messages I sent to my best friend Shaina less than 24 hours later on October 23, 2017.  Though it’s jumbled and not perfect in any way and contains the misspellings and keyboard smashes and all, here’s my Taylor story, a year later, as told the day after it happened—in message form.

~

I MET TAYLOR SWIFT SHDJEKJDKROF

I CANNOT BELIEVE MY LIFE

I HAVEN’T CRIED YET BUT ITS 4 AM AND I THINK ITS FINALLY HITTINGME

photo of wristband

SHE FUCKING DANCED WITH ME DURING LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO LIKE GRABBED MY HAND AND JAMMED WITH ME AS I WAS SHOUTING THE LYRICS GOODBYEEEEEEE

photo of merch

GOODBYEEEEEEEEE

Shaina: You’re lying

IM NOY IM NOT OH MY FOD OH MY FREAKINF GOD

PARKER THOUGHT I WAS DRUNK OF SOMETHING CUZ I WAS SHOUTING VIA TEXT ASKING IF HE WAS UP HOLT SHIT

Shaina: Ok. Spill. I’m shook.

Okay okay so I’m literally about ready to pass out I haven’t slept well since finding out last week and legit got two hours of afterwards last night, well this morning ahhh

And about to board my flight but I’ll try to type quick

So basically her team DMed me last Tuesday saying they’ve noticed what an amazing fan I am and asked for my information

And people have been making fake TN accounts and sending fake messages to be awful, and I thought it was fake because I never expected to ever be contacted

So I’m like in the gym parking lot thank god I didn’t see it while I was still at work

And I realize it has a blue verified check and that it’s legitimate and the last questions was have you ever met Taylor and I LOSE MY SHIT IM IN HYSTERICS IN THE CAR AND CALL MY MOM AND SHE THINKS I GOT IN AN ACCIDENT

So basically I’m a freaking ass mess because I’m 99% it’s for a secret session since at that point one had happened and we all assumed that there would be more cities, and I was almost positive they would NOT send that message to someone and not follow through and call and tell them SOMETHING

So I can’t sleep I leave my phone on cuz I don’t want to miss a call

It of course doesn’t come til the next day while I’m AT WORK

And they freaking ass knew my twitter and tumblr and asked for all my socials and I now know the people I talked to weren’t asked that so that’s weirddddd

Anyway so sure as hell it’s a ‘very special event’ and it’s all too secret and I can’t tell anyone except a parent for safety

And once I confirm I can get myself to LA she gives some instructions and said final details will be emailed  

And so that was Wednesday and I’m crying at work and their dinner was late lol

And I called my mom and was like this weekend Sunday book flights nowwwww

And then the quick version is for the next two days I was practically puking every day so nervous and the email wasn’t coming and I was like shitttttt

So finally on Friday I straight up call Taylor Nation back and get straight through and say my name and she’s like what’s up?! And she says they’re coming out later that day

And so I flew down Saturday and I rented my very first car and took my first legit solo trip in the name of Taylor freaking swift honestly I’m not surprised

And bless Briana’s fam’s heart they were out of town but let me stay in their guest apartment while they were away with no explanation so that was very nice and less stress for me

And then I had to sit from 3:30 Saturday until 5:15 Sunday in LA by myself unable to tell anyone and it was wilddddddd

Like I was like sweeeeeet I can get caught up in my journal!!!  Noooo I deadass sat there and felt like I was dying and about threw up hourly like how the freaking hell do you just casually chill when you know your damn outlandish never thought it would occur dream is about to happen and not only that but like on a times 100 scale?!?!

So basically I went to her damn house and we hung out by the pool and ate food and the weirdest part is I’ve been unable to eat and have been panicking all week but the second I got to the first check point and to her house even more I was just like chillllll like ayeeeee this is gonna be fun omg I’m so hungry and let’s eat all this food

And so basically it’s a listening session for the new album and we obviously can’t say anything about it or what she said about it besides like probs that it’s AWESOME OUTSTANDING IS GONNA SLAY THE WORLD AND SHES SO LROUD OF IT AND MY BABY DID THAT AND IM REAL PROUD

Okay okay but she like explained each song in-depth and was the cutest cupcake singing along fully jamming to everything and like looking at everyone the entire time and locking eyes as she’s singing ya feel

My flight is about to leave but I will continue later!!!!!

Shaina: This is insane I can’t believe it I’m beyond stoked for you safe travels and talk soon

Okay we not leaving quite yet sooooo I’m missing parts. So we are told we’re gonna go inside and sit down and I book it fast to get a spot on the ground like only two people sitting in front of me and there’s a red plush chair not even 10 feet away that she’ll obviously be sitting in and we’re all like sjedjekkdir

And I was wondering who all I would know there right!?? And was bummed there’s one girl I talk to frequently who loves Shawn Mendes and we know each other cuz she saw my Shawn poster on twitter and she’s from LA but I hadn’t seen her

And then someone pokes me and is like ALIIIIIIII AND ITS HER AND WE FLIP AND SXREAM SO LOUD THE WHOLE ROOM THOUGHT IT WAS TAY AND WAS PISSSSSSED AND SHUSHING US AND SOMEONES LIKE THEY KNOW EACH OTHER!!!!! HAHAHAHA

Shaina: This just keeps getting better and better. How did you keep this a secret?!?!?!?

Shaina: How many people were there

AND SO ANYWAY WE ALL THOUGHT TAYLOR WAS GONNA COME IN FROM THE FRONT AND SIT RIGHT DOWN??? AND ON THE BUS SOMEONE WAS LIKE YOOOOO WHAT IF SINCE TONIGHT IT’S IN LA SHE BRINGS FRIENDS????? AND SO SHE OF COURSE INSTEAD COMES FROM THE BACL AND THE DAMN ROOM EXPLODES AND SHE LOOKS LIKE A DAMN GODWESS AND SHE’S LIKE HIIIIIIIII AND GRINNING AND ALSO COMES IN JACK ANTANOF (SPELLING IDK IM CURRENTLY OFFLINE SO I CANT CHECK), TWO OF THE HAIM GIRLS, AND RUBY ROSE AND THE ROOM IS LIKE SHATTERING

AND SO SINCE SHE IN THE BACK SHE STARTS MAKING HER WAY THROUGHHHHHH US AND IS GRABBING PEOPLE AND PEOPLE ARE STANDING UP AND HUGGING HER AND HOLY CRAP

Okay lololol shoot I just woke up and didn’t realize the rest of this story was notttt in constant caps like I’ve been using all day my bad my bad

And so she’s playing the songs in order off the album and I think it’s okay to say that her and jack are losing their minds because they’ve never gotten to experience our reaction to new stuff they’ve worked on when they’re together, and definitely not together and in person, so she kept being like this is so cool for us you have no idea and he’s in the back confirming lololol

And so anyway she gets to Look What You Made me Do and she’s like soooo how do we want to do this??? Do we want to keep sitting do we want to dance…??? And we’re all like DANCEEEEEE SHDHIEOKRKR and shes like okayyyy we’re dancing and Shaina this is deadass like straight out of a dream.  Actually wait no I couldn’t have imagined this, but she starts and I was anticipating part of this but not the whole thing…

So she obviously doesn’t just have us bopping along and staying and dancing on her own up front… she starts making her way into our basically tiny crowd and we’re so packed together that she’s grabbing people’s hands so she doesn’t fall as she goes. And she’s stopping and dancing with people and stops and stays dancing like staring at one guy and he’s going for it and not afraid and singing the lyrics dramatically right back to her….

And then she makes her way towards and wait for it

GRABS MY DAMN HAND AS SHE’S TRYING TO GET FARTHER INTO THE MIDDLE AND I’M LIKE OKAY OKAY JUST CHILL SHE JUST GRABBED MY HAND NO BIGGIE AND IM LIKE SHES GONNA KEEP WALKING LIKE THAT WAS MY MOMENT RIGBT?!?!

NOOOOOOOOOOO SHE STOPS THERE ONCE SHES BY ME AND IS DANCING WITH THE PEOPLE THAT ARE AROUND HER BUT HER BACK IS TO ME AT THIS POINT BUT IM STILL LIKE HOLY SHIT WHAT IS LIFE AND THEN SHE FREAKING ASS TURNS THE HELL AROUND AND IS DANCING! WITH! ME! LIKE! SHES! LOOKING! AT! ME! AND IM LIKE JAMMING OF COURSE AND SCREAMING THE LYRICS AND I LITERALLT DIED AND WENT TO HEAVEN

And then Vanessa (my Shawn buddy) at this point has scooted up to me cuz everyone’s shifted and the people around me are like dude holy shit SHE DANCED WITH YOUUUUU

BYEEEEEEEEEEEE

Okay okay so after the whole album was played she gave us like the lowdown on the meet and greet portion and she passed out the target exclusive magazines for us to see while we waited and talked a bit about the making of them and why and things and she’s really pumped about them and they worked really hard to have them be affordable as possible and cut down the pages and things

And meanwhile like the whole night she’s so close that people would make comments and she’d hear and respond and it was so cute and amazing

Also I don’t think I’ve mentioned her outfit yet???  She’s been looking bomb at all of the other sessions and holy helllll she looked bomb like damnnnnnnnn she had on a black crop top and these high waisted and slightly folded down camouflage pants and these black boots and her hairrrrrrr this era is like natural curls and soooo damn cute

Okay okay so anyway we thought it was a greattttt idea to wait towards the end so we could stay longer and not go first and be done and sent home… yeah well it ended up being a not great idea because we ended up waiting two hours but I’m obviously not complaining one freaking bit

And she’s doing pictures in the other room so we can’t really see much for most of it but every so often we can see people talking to her and taking photos and it’s so cute it’d melt your hearttttttt

And so those of us that have bonded together at this point are like um shoooooot what pose and what the hell do I say to her??????? Like all week to my parents I was like ummmmm soooooo I’ve imagined this happening but like never thought it’d actually happen so unlike some people I had nottttt planned like a monologue of what I’d want her to know if I ever met her???? Like with Vance I was lost too but with my posters it was easier and I’ve seen him recently and yada yada but this is TAYLOR FREAKING SWIFT WHO IVE LOVED WITH MY WHOLE DAMN HEART SINCE I WAS FIFTEEN AND SHIT IM TEARING UP ON THE PLANE WHAT THE HELL DO YOU SAY TO HER WHAT DO YOU WANT HER TO KNOW YOU’VE GOT LIKE TWO MINUTES WITH HER GOOOOO

And so we were all really curious if she’d somehow recognize us because people have been saying that they walk in and she shouted their name! And I’m like idk if that’s gonna happen but might as well see if not just ask if she’s seen anything idk idk???

So okay buckle up for like the greatest time of my entire damn life

So I walk in and hug herrrrrrrrrrrrr

And I wish to god I can remember everything she said but I was focusing so hard on keeping it together and saying my bit that I know for sure what I said and can put together mostly something the general sentiment of what she said if not it exactly. So we’re huggingggg and I say I think hiiiii it’s so nice to finally meet you thank you for having me I’m so excited to be here or something and she’s like awww thank you for coming!! And I’m like I have to know how did we all get picked, was it by you or your team or how did it happen?? And I don’t know what the first part of her answer was but she says so the people from LA have been picked for about a year, and the people from elsewhere (I’m guessing with exceptions) have been picked more recently like within the past few months so like now I know it has nothingggg to do with whatever we’ve been doing online recently…. It’s from at least when she first came back if not before and they realized we were active while she was away….

And so I’m like okay ali say something else so I’m like so I really like making concert posters and the first ones I ever made were for you and shes like aw thank you!! And I’m like I realized other people were making posters and I’d been a RA and I was like hey I can make some really bomb posters tooooo. And so I’m like the fist ones said ‘Taylor someday we’ll meet you even if it’s just in our wildest dreams’ and she grabs me and is like AND NOW WE’RE MAKING IT HAPPEN!!! And so I say after I got the phone call I was in my car listening to Ready For It and started bawling when she sings ‘in my dreams, I know I’m gonna be with you’ cuz I knew it was actually happening and shes like awwwwwww or something you get the idea

And so then I straight up start talking about my dad???

I’m like so my dad loves you and she’s like omg and I’m like no he adoresss youuu and is so sad he couldn’t come and she’s like awww tell him hi!!! And I’m like he loves your Out of the Woods piano Grammy performance and I say how I’d found him listening to it repeatedly and he wanted it on his phone. And she’s like he sounds amazing! And I’m like he is he’s awesome lol and I’m like actually and so him and I went and saw you at F1 last year and of course I’m like and I made signs for there too and so I describe them IN DETAIL like what they said, I realized later I told her I was from Oregon, because I said they were the states and the dotted line and the paper airplane and I think she really liked that??? And as if that all isn’t already insane enough at some point in there I mentioned how this month has been insane and how I’d met Vance Joy and it was my birthday and now this and she said something excitedly about that like ahhh so much excitement or idk something about it. And so she’s like so what pose would you like to do? And I’m like I’ve really been going back and forth between just hugging or doing something sort of funny (low key said that hoping she’d be like girl let’s do both but lololol it’s okay) so she’s like it’s completely up to you!! And I’m like um um okay let’s just hug so she grabs me and we take the freaking photo and ahhhhhhhh

And so Vanessa and I had it planned out and she had me go first and at this point I was like would it be okay if my friend and I got a photo with you together and she’s like of course!! So V comes in and hugs her and we take one photo together and she squeezes us together tight and then I hug her one last time and thank her and say I love you so much (lol I had to throw it in other people forgot it and have been upset) and then I walk out and they hand me my merch bag and are directing me to the bus but I’m like can I wait for my friend and they’re like sure. So she comes out and she’s like SHE KNEW MY NAME SHSJEKOFN and she’s like yelling and I’m like shut up and I grab her and I’m like shhh shhhhh hahahaha and so we walk to the bus and it’s the funniest thing cuz they’re just waiting for it to be full so anytime someone new walks on everyone’s like SPILLLLLLLLL

And then once it was full we went back got our things, exchanged details with people on that bus and took photos and whatnot and turned our phones on to the madness anddddddd so well thats the story of the best damn day of my life

~

Taylor, thank you thank you thank for giving me such incredible memories that I’ve blown up the phones of every person I know, and have talked every person’s ears off that I’ve met during these past 365 days, about how special they are to me.  Thank you for making it happen, thank you for holding my gaze so intently and being so genuine every second I was talking to you, thank you for bringing me some of the best friends I’ve ever had, thank you for being so prominent in the highlights of not only this past year, but this past decade.  I love you forever, babe.  Long, long live October 22, 2017.

[dobseventeen]

A New Beginning (Part 6)

A/N: I’m not sure why, but I really love this chapter? No specific reason, I just really enjoy it. Shoutout to the various anon’s who encouraged me to get this done tonight, you da real MVP’s. ALSO HUGE SHOUTOUT TO @veronicarapp because she is literally the inspiration for the reader’s friend “Sammy” that is introduced in this chapter. Like she is 100% Sammy. She’s also my tumblr bff, so it just makes sense, right? LOVE YOU BITCH. Anyways, I hope you guys like this chapter and are overall liking the direction I’m taking the story. Feedback is always appreciated!

Word Count: 5,246

Warnings: None really? (Cussing, kissing, fluff)

Summary: Y/N finally tells someone about her time spent with Dylan before they spend yet another evening together in LA. 

Previous Chapter: Part 5

Next Chapter: Part 7

You awoke to the sound of your phone ringing. You groggily lifted your head and looked around the room, trying to get your bearings. How long was I asleep? You were relieved when you saw that the sun was still shinning brightly through your hotel window. Your phone kept blaring its obnoxious ringtone, demanding that you answer it. You reached over to grab it from the bedside table, hoping you’d see Dylan’s name on the screen. 

Incoming call from: Sammy 👯

You smiled at the phone when you saw your best friend’s name. You and Sammy met your freshman year of college, randomly, while walking to the same party. To make a long story short, by the end of the night you were both shoving shots down each others throats and claiming that you’d be in one another’s weddings, even though you had only known one another for four hours at that point. You couldn’t have been more right though. Sammy had been there for you through everything; the little fights you had with your ex, the nights you took down way too much tequila, your break up, and your decision to finally move out west. She was your rock through and through, and you were certain you wouldn’t be where you were today without her spunky-ass. 

“Sammy! Hi!” you exclaimed into the phone.

“What’s up, bitch? You wanna tell me why I haven’t heard from you since you landed in Cali?!” she playfully barked at you.

Before you could give her an explanation, she continued, “Let me guess, you met some dreamy, LA guy who has been taking up all your time during the day, and then ramming you into his headboard at night?” 

You couldn’t help but let your mouth fall agape at her almost perfect assumption. Leave it to her to be able to know what you were doing without sharing one word with her. 

“Y/N/N? You there?” she asked.

“Yeah sorry, I, uhhh, I’m-” you stuttered. 

“OH MY FUCKING GOSH YOU MET A GUY.” she practically yelled into the phone. 

Your face grew red instantly, making you thankful that she was on the other side of the country and couldn’t call you out on it. 

“Okay, yeah, I may have met a guy the first night I got here...” you spoke coolly, trying to play it off the best you could.

“And you didn’t think to tell me?! What the fuck?!” she was now more excited than anything, and you felt bad for your downstairs apartment neighbors back home who were inevitably hearing everything she was screaming into the phone. 

“I’m sorry, Sam! I didn’t keep it quiet intentionally, I’ve just been with him... well, a lot.” you said hesitantly, knowing you were about to get the third degree. 

“Oh my fuck, okay, okay. Before I start prying all of that out of you, how did your interview go? Did you bomb it so you can stay here on the East coast with me?” she joked. 

You chuckled, “Nope, I landed it! I got the fucking job!” you were now the one screaming into the phone.

“That is so awesome, Y/N!!! I’m so happy for you, even though that means you’re leaving me.” she fake pouted. 

“You know you’ll be able to come visit whenever you want, and I’ll be home all the time to see everyone.” you reassured her.  

“I know, I know. Now, on to more important things; who the fuck have you been spending all your time with?!” she playfully shot at you.

“Okay, Sam, I’m going to need you to stay calm and not freak out, okay? Because if you freak out, then I’ll freak out, and I can’t afford to do that when I’m about to hangout with him again in a few hours.” you said in an authoritative tone. 

“Oh my god, is it a celebrity? HAVE YOU BEEN WINED AND DINED BY A CELEBRITY? Holy fuck!” she exclaimed.

“SAM! Chill out, okay? I’m not going to tell you until you’re calm.” you laughed at her.

You heard her take a deep, audible breath, “Okay, okay, I’m calm.”

You were now the one taking in a huge breath, since you hadn’t told anyone about your time with Dylan yet. This was about to make it real.

“Sammy... It’s Dylan O’Brien.” you said blankly, trying to fight the smile that made its way onto your face at the mention of his name aloud. 

The line was quiet. 

“Sammy, are you ther-” you were interrupted.

“OH. MY. GOD. Are you fucking serious right now? You can’t be serious? Dylan fucking O’Brien? The Maze Runner? The American Assassin? STILES STILINSKI?” she yelled into the phone, her voice laced with shock. 

“Yes, I am so serious. He’s fucking amazing, Sam. I’m not sure how I got so damn lucky, but I’ve been with him everyday since I got here.” you explained, failing to hide the giddiness in your voice. 

“TELL ME EVERYTHING.” she deadpanned back to you. 

At the same time, you heard a ding on the line, signalling a new text message. You removed the phone from your ear to look at the screen and saw Dylan’s name. 

“Y/N? Don’t you dare leave me hanging like this.” she warned.

“Sorry, I got a text, Sam, look ca-” you were interrupted again.

“IS IT FROM HIM?” she shouted. 

“Yes, it’s from Dylan. Look, Sammy, I promise to fill you in on all of the details later, but I have to start getting ready for tonight.” you said clearly, hoping she’d understand.

“Okay, okay, Y/N/N. I get it. You go be with an incredibly sexy movie star, while I sit here in our apartment watching Friends for the millionth time. But, Y/N, promise me you’ll be careful? The last thing you need is another prick to come in your life and mess it all up, I don’t care if he’s some big celebrity.” she said with an assertive tone. 

“I promise, Sam. I’ll talk to you later, okay? Love ya bitch.” you said in a sweet voice. 

“Love you too, homie!” she fired back.

Before you could take time to reflect on how much you appreciated your best friend for looking out for your well being, your phone dinged again with another text. 

Dylan O’Brien: “Hi Y/N! 😘 Finally done with my meetings for the day.”

Dylan O’Brien: “Hope you’re prepared for the most basic date of your life tonight. I really pulled out all the stops for this one!!!”

You chucked at your phone. You weren’t sure what he meant, but you were excited to find out. He could literally take you on a walk through Burbank and you’d be in heaven. You felt a strong surge of confidence as you typed your reply. 

Y/N: “Hey, Dyl. I can’t wait to see what you’ve got up your sleeves for tonight, you never fail to surprise me! How did your meetings go, babe?”

You instantly threw your phone onto the bed, cursing yourself for calling him “babe”. What the fuck is wrong with you? Before your anxiety could consume you, you phone dinged from under the comforter. You breathed a sigh of relief when you read his response, a warm feeling replacing the icy cold anxiousness that was previously coursing through you. 

Dylan O’Brien: “You’ll like what I have planned. Well, at least I think you will. I’ve been paying close attention to you over the last few days, babe. My meetings actually went great for once, making me that much more excited to come pick your cute ass up 😉”

You were still slightly in disbelief that you were already at this level with someone you had met only three days prior, regardless if it was Dylan O’Brien. Pet names never really became a thing until at least a week after knowing the guy. Sex definitely didn’t come along until at least the third date. You knew Dylan wasn’t a bad guy, hell he seemed like a great guy so far, and all you wanted to do was stay in this state of bliss with him forever, but you knew you needed to be smart about this. You didn’t regret any of the things that had happened thus far, but you needed to remind yourself to not get too caught up in it all. The last thing you needed to deal with was another broken heart, especially in a city that you couldn’t even officially call home yet.

Y/N: “Well, what are you waiting for, O’Brien? Me and my cute ass are waiting on ya 😉”

Dylan O’Brien: “How about I come by around 6 to pick you up?”

Y/N: “Sounds good, Dyl. See you soon 😘”

You hadn’t even checked the time since you woke up from your nap. You figured it was still early afternoon, 3 pm at the latest. Wrong. You did a triple take when you looked down at your watch. 

“5:11 PM?! WHAT THE FUCK!!” you said aloud.

You immediately went to the shower, completely pissed that you let yourself sleep that late. What the fuck Y/N? Now you’re going to look like shit for your date. Smooth. He’s never going to take you out again because you chose to sleep your life away! You continued ranting to yourself as you quickly showered and pulled yourself together. By the time the clock read 5:45 PM, you had already dried and styled your hair into a cute, low ponytail, lathered lotion across basically your whole body, and finished a majority of your makeup. All that was left was to pick your outfit and apply some lipstick. You were eternally grateful that he told you to dress comfy casual, because you were running out of going-out outfits that you packed for your week-long trip. You settled on a pair of denim shorts, clad with fashionable holes, a simple black tank top whose straps criss-crossed in the back, and your go-to pair of grey low-top converse. As you were applying a thin layer of pink lip gloss, you heard a knock at your door. A smile instantly spread across your face when you saw Dylan standing on the other side. 

“Hey, Dyl.” you said bashfully, still getting used to his captivating presence. 

“Hey, gorgeous. You ready to go?” he said with a wink as he extended his hand out to you. 

“Yepp, let’s see what you have in store for me tonight, O’Brien.” you teased as you gave his hand a small squeeze, him leading you down the hallway. 

You were driving down one of the main strips through LA, all the windows down in Dylan’s Range Rover, hand in hand with him, as you were both all but screaming the lyrics to “I Like Me Better” by Lauv. The sun was just beginning to set in the sky, casting a beautiful orange hue over the city. You began thinking to yourself about how sincerely happy you were in the moment. Not a care in the world, just you and Dylan, hand in hand under the sunset, singing so obnoxiously you could’ve laughed about it for hours. This must be what it feels like to be purely and genuinely happy. 

You leaned up to turn down the radio, Dylan instantly jerking his head in your direction. 

“What do you think you’re doing?! The best part was coming up!” he playfully barked at you. 

“Sorry, Dyl! I promise we can listen to it again. But I need a hint as to where we are going, the excitement is killing me, dude!” you exclaimed, leaning your head sideways towards him, your Ray-Bans covering your curious eyes. 

“Trust me, where we’re going isn’t that exciting at all, but I know you’ll like it. So, sit back and sing with me until we get there!” he said as he leaned forward and turned the radio back up. He flashed you a huge smile before he began his next Grammy-worthy performance for you. You threw your head back and laughed at his goofy personality, knowing you would’ve sat in his passenger seat forever just hearing him sing to you. 

“Oh my god, are you serious?!” you shouted as he flicked on his right turn signal, preparing to pull into the drive-thru of the one and only, In-N-Out. 

Dylan laughed before diving into his explanation, “Last night you said that you’d be more than happy if an In-N-Out was on top of that cliff and that you didn’t need a five course meal, so I’m taking you up on that.” 

You picked up his hand that was interconnected with yours and brought it to your lips, giving it a delicate kiss. 

“You’re something else, you know that?” you said, your gaze darting between his caramel eyes and his alluring lips. The second the SUV came to a stop, you leaned up and enveloped his lips into a quick but passionate kiss. You both smiled into the kiss as it broke, and looked deeply into one another’s eyes. 

“I know it’s not a typical place to go for a second date, but I promise I have more planned than just fast food hamburgers.” he said sheepishly.

“Dylan, it’s perfect. I love it because you actually listen to me and what I have to say. Like, you actually pay attention to me.” you said in a reassuring tone.

No one had ever listened to you or paid attention to you to the extent that Dylan had. First, he noticed the thing you had for looking at views and landscapes the day he drove you home from lunch, which led to your first real date. You always had an earnest appreciation and curiosity for your surroundings, whether it was a beautiful sunset, or some side street in the middle of LA.  Now, he had listened to something you had casually uttered while you were busy taking in the view of the LA skyline from that cliff for the first time. 

“I don’t understand how anyone could not listen to absolutely everything that leaves your mouth.” he said simply, flashing you a small smile. He seemed that he wanted to say more, but stopped himself. You were both then interrupted by the waitress taking your order. 

Dylan ordered your food and pulled up the drive-thru window. The waitress let out a small scream because she instantly noticed Dylan. Without hesitation, he reached over and reconnected his hand with yours that was resting on the center console, silently claiming you as his. The action made your heart flutter, even if it was only directed towards this random In-N-Out employee. 

“OH MY GOD YOU’RE DYLAN O’BRIEN!!!” she shouted as he traced his thumb over your hand. 

“Yeah, that’s me. It’s nice to meet you!” he spoke with such pure generosity. It warmed your heart to know that he genuinely cared about his fans. 

“I seriously love you SO much! Could we please take a selfie really quick?” she asked in a gawking tone. 

Dylan let out a small chuckle, “Of course we can!” 

The waitress angled her phone in a way that caught the two of them in the picture, with Dylan slightly leaning out of his window, an adorable smirk plastered across his face. You leaned back in your seat, not wanting to ruin the picture for the young girl. 

“Thank you so so so much, Dylan! I’ll have your food out in one sec!” she spoke nervously, obviously not expecting to meet a movie star at work today. 

“Well aren’t you just so sweet to your fans?” you cooed, having a new admiration for the man next to you. 

He let out a small laugh, “I owe everything to my fans, the least I can do is be nice and take a quick picture. I wish I could do more honestly.” he admitted.

Before you had a chance to reply, he spoke again, “She didn’t get you in the picture did she?”

A small pit in your stomach formed. Did he not want to be seen with me? 

“Uhm, I don’t think so. I leaned back and tried to get out of the way.” you said lowly, averting your gaze from his face to the control panel of the Rover. 

“Okay. I don’t want you to think I’m trying to keep you a secret or whatever, I just don’t want the paparazzi to get a hold of it and drag you into something you aren’t ready for.” he explained reassuringly, noticing your personality shift. 

“I get what you’re saying. Make sense.” was all you could murmur. You weren’t sure how you felt about that aspect of this new “relationship” or fling or whatever you wanted to call it. You totally understood where he was coming from and you appreciated that he wanted to look out for you, but a part of the whole ordeal stung, and you weren’t exactly sure why. Your thoughts moved away from topic once the waitress handed Dylan your food and he began driving away. 

“Now where?” you said, trying to break the awkwardness of the previous conversation. 

“Haven’t you learned by now that I’m just never going to tell you? Everything is a surprise with me, gorgeous.” he said, turning to flash you a toothy smile. 

“Ughhh, you kill me, babe.” you said before realizing the words that had left your mouth. Your eyes instantly got wide and your cheeks turned red. You were completely embarrassed at your lack of filter as you stared straight through the windshield, looking at the passing streetlights. 

Dylan noticed your bashful reaction and placed his hand on the exposed skin of your thigh, “You’re so cute... babe.” ending it with a charming wink. 

You exhaled a breath you didn’t realize you were holding, thankful that he wasn’t weirded out by your new nickname being said aloud for the first time. Your sense of relief was accompanied by the Rover turning into a small gravel driveway, located about ten minutes from the main road you were just cruising down. You couldn’t tell where the path was leading, which instantly reminded you of the woods from the night before. 

“You sure you’re still not planning to kill me in the middle of the woods, O’Brien?” you said jokingly.

“I wouldn’t dream of it. At least not until I know the PIN to your bank account.” he said as he turned the SUV sharply.

“HAHAHA you’re so funny!” you said obnoxiously, finally taking notice of where you were headed.

About one hundred yards in front of you stood a ticket booth with a huge silver screen located some feet behind it. A drive-in movie, how much more romantic could this guy fucking get? 

“You really are one of a kind, aren’t you?” you said, a delighted grin resting on your face. 

“You make it easy, Y/N. You’re always so excited anytime I do something to surprise you, it makes me want to do cute shit like this for you everyday.” he said sweetly with an honest tone. 

You turned to face him as you rested your head against the head rest, “I’m not worthy of you.” you spoke softly. You were only half serious. Maybe. 

“You’re crazy if you really believe that.” he said, leaning over and giving your forehead a gentle kiss. You brought your hand up to cup his cheek, and as he began to pull away, you leaned up and connected your lips to his. He mirrored your actions and brought both hands up to hold your face as he fell deeper into the kiss, swiping his tongue over your bottom lip, seeking an entrance. You turned your head to the side, allowing his tongue to move rhythmically with yours. He tenderly bit on your lower lip, eliciting a breathy moan from you, that was lost in the depths of the kiss. As you both broke apart, you looked deeply into his whiskey eyes that were now gleaming from the moon and stars that covered the sky above you both. You silently thanked the guy who invented the sunroof. 

“Let’s go get our tickets, babe.” he said, winking at you as he stepped out of the car. 

You both walked hand in hand to the ticket booth, arms swinging like you were school children going to recess. You could get used to the feeling of his hand interconnected to yours, giving you a sense of comfort you hadn’t felt in ages. 

“So what are we seeing, Dyl?” you asked, knowing damn well you’d sit through any movie as long as you were by his side. 

“Well, there are two really good drive-in’s around here, each playing a different movie. The other one is uhm... well, it’s playing The Death Cure. And I didn’t want to spend our second date watching me.” he let out with a chuckle. 

You giggled at his shyness, “I totally would’ve been okay watching you on the big screen, but I get why you didn’t want to. I’m seriously happy watching whatever.”

“I’m glad you understand, some people don’t get it. Not only is it kinda weird to watch my own movie on the second date, but it’s also still kinda... hard for me to watch.” he admitted, lowering his head. 

“What do you mean?” you questioned, having no clue what he meant by that. 

“You don’t know what happened?” he was genuinely shocked and relieved that you weren’t aware of his accident. 

“Nope, I have no clue what you’re referring to... but I’ll understand if you don’t want to talk about.” you spoke lightly, not wanting to seem like you were prying. 

“No, no, it’s okay, It honestly nice to know that you didn’t already know about it.” he admitted. 

He continued, “Well, the reason it took The Death Cure three years to come out after The Scorch Trials is because I got banged up pretty bad while filming it.” 

“How bad is pretty bad?” you said, looking at him with wide eyes and raised eyebrows. 

He pointed to the scar on the right side of his nose, “You see this right here? Long story short, I was doing a stunt on a moving vehicle and it all went wrong. I had to have facial reconstructive surgery. It was a huge mess and it’s taken me a long time to come to terms with it.” he seemed more solemn and withdrawn than you had ever seen him, and the sight broke your heart. 

“Oh, Dylan, I’m so sorry. I had no idea. I can’t even imagine what it must have been like... You’re such a strong person, not only for being able to overcome that and continue on with the movie, but in general just being able to have a recovered and have such a good grip on it.” you said openly, hoping he’d understand just how serious you were in the moment. He gave your hand a gentle squeeze as you both continued towards the ticketing booth. 

“Thanks, Y/N/N. I really appreciate that. It was tough, but I made it through and I’d like to think I’m doing better now.” he said, giving you a reassuring smile. 

“You’re doing great, Dyl. I don’t know all the details, but you’ve already done so much since then, including American Assassin, finishing the Death Cure, and landing this new role that you’ve been negotiating. You’re amazing, please don’t ever think anything different.” you confessed, meaning every single word. 

Dylan knew in that moment that he needed to keep you around as long as he could. Most people simply react to his accident as “yeah that really sucks, can I get an autograph?” or they will completely downplay the severity of it, making him seem like he’s overreacting. You were one of the few people who genuinely respected his healing process with it and recognized how difficult it was to come back, even if you barely knew any details. 

“Now I’m pretty sure I’m not worthy of you.” he said, looking down at you through his sunglasses appreciatively.

You gave him a light nudge with your hip and a wink, “Whatever you say, O’Brien. By the way, you wanna tell me why you’re still wearing your sunglasses? It’s 100% nighttime now.” 

“Unless you want to share me with any of my fans that might be here, I think it’s best that I leave them on until we get back to the car.” he explained.

“Ahh, makes sense. It’s going to take me awhile to get used to the fact that you’re a celebrity, or whatever.” you said nonchalantly, rolling your eyes jokingly. 

“You’re fucking kidding me.” you exasperated as you read the marquee above the ticket window.

“TOP GUN?! This is one of my favorite movies!” you exclaimed, giving Dylan a bright smile. 

“I had a feeling you were either into 80′s movies or Tom Cruise, so it was an easy choice compared to, well, my movie. ” he said while reaching for his wallet. 

“You know me so well, babe.” you said giving him a wink. You were surprised how much easier the pet name rolled off your tongue this time around. 

At the same time you reached up and gently grabbed his arm, “Dyl, please let me pay for the tickets. You’ve already done so much for me this week.” 

He creased his eyebrows at you, but stepped aside and let you order the tickets. You leaned up on your elbows at the ticket booth window, slightly sticking your butt out and moving it back and fourth slightly, giving Dylan a show. You heard him mutter something behind you. You looked back with a devilish smirk across your lips, he rolled his eyes at you playfully and threw his head back while running his hand through his hair. Mission accomplished. 

You both now sat, cuddled on a blanket beside his car. Your head rested on his chest and his hand traced up and down your back as you watched the classic Tom Cruise movie. You couldn’t help yourself from quoting every other scene. You were slightly worried you were being annoying, until Dylan starting doing it along with you. You both erupted into laughter anytime you’d both say the same phrase at the same time. Both of you were truly in a state of bliss that you never wanted to come out of. 

“You know they’re making a Top Gun 2?” he asked.

“Uhm yes! I’m overly obsessed with this movie, so when I found out there was a sequel in the works, I basically died. They’re taking forever to get it figured it out though.” you said, feigning anger.

“If I tell you something do you swear not to tell anyone else?” he whispered, even though there weren’t any people within thirty feet of you. 

You were instantly filled with curiosity, “Yes, I promise!” 

You were now sitting up, looking down at his perfect face, the moon casting a beautiful glow over his features. 

“Well, my manager may or may not have scheduled me an audition for one of the leads in it.” he said coolly, trying to play it off like he was sly. 

“DYLAN. YOU’RE KIDDING. You better not be messing with me!” you deadpanned. 

He laughed aloud at your intensity over the topic, “I promise I’m not messing with you! It’s still very much in pre-production, but I’m definitely interested. So we will see.” he revealed with a shrug of his shoulders. 

“I’d literally KILL to see you in one of the flight uniforms they wear.” you teased as you returned your head to his chest. 

“Well, some day you just might.” he said giving your shoulders a light squeeze, pulling you closer. 

Before you had the chance to continue the conversation, Dylan’s phone began ringing in his pocket. He quickly reached down to grab it as you retreated from his embrace. He sighed when he read the contact. 

“I’m so sorry but I have to take this, I’ll be right back, okay?” he apologized as he started walking away from you, his hand running through his hair nervously. You waved him off, giving him an understanding nod. Your mind began to wander, coming up with different scenarios that could be playing out in the phone call. 

From the distance you could hear Dylan whisper-shouting into his phone. “No, I’m not okay with that. That is not what we discussed earlier.” 

You didn’t want to eavesdrop, but he was making it hard with the volume he was using, “We agreed to wait two months, I don’t understand what the issue is.” 

The conversation continued for about a minute longer, and the only other thing you heard before he returned was “Okay, well I guess I’ll just have to deal with it and figure something out. Thanks, talk to you tomorrow.”

He seemed visibly more tense when he returned to the blanket, his hand still avidly running through his hair. Your heart sank a little at the sight. You hated seeing him anything less than happy. 

“Is everything okay, Dyl?” you questioned, a hint of nervousness in your voice. 

“Yeah I’m okay, just some work stuff. No big deal, I’ll deal with it tomorrow.” he said, giving you a half-hearted smile. You could tell there was more to the story, but it wasn’t your place to pry, so you let it go. When he sat back down, he put both legs on either side of your body and wrapped his arms around your shoulders and chest, pulling you into him, your head resting in the crook of his neck. You were relieved that he was still wanting to be in the moment with you, regardless of whatever news he just received. He pressed a soft kiss into your hair and you fell further into him, loving the feeling of being wrapped up in his strong arms once again. 

As much worry and annoyance was running through Dylan’s veins from his phone call, all of it seemed to drift away the second you were in his grasp. He was so thankful for you in that moment, even though you had no idea what was happening. You would know soon enough though. 

The ending credits began to play and everyone in the drive-in lot began to pack up. You began to pull away, but your movements were restricted by Dylan’s grip on you. 

He leaned in towards you, “Can we just lay here for a few more minutes?” he whispered. 

“I’d love that.” you said sweetly as you turned and pressed a small kiss into his bicep that was just to the left of you. You weren’t lying either. It felt like everything you had ever wanted or dreamed of existed in this moment with him. Every wish upon a star or birthday candle was for this moment to simply come to fruition. Every stupid boy you’d ever had to deal with before this meant nothing compared to bliss that you were currently enveloped in. All you wanted was to lay there with him all night, feeling his chest rising and falling behind you as he breathed in the smell of your floral shampoo. 

After a few minutes Dylan spoke up, “You ready to get out of here, gorgeous? I want to show you something.” he hummed into you ear. 

“I’d go anywhere with you, Dyl.” you cooed as you pressed a kissed onto his hand. 

He sure hoped you meant that. 

Next Chapter: Part 7

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Tags:

@dancingwithdylan21 @feelingsareharddd @themonsterattheendofthis-blog @supernaturallover2002 @barryallenplease @dannydopeledge @purpleisbloo @bellagrayson-wayne @crazyfreaker @superapplepie @bojabee @veronicarapp @luvnyuh

[kenzbee]

Blinded - 3 ┊Min Yoongi

┕ pairing: yoongi x reader

┕ genre: fluff, angst (mostly angst)

┕ words: 2.2k

1 / 2 / 3

Summary: There’s a fine balance between work and romance, Yoongi just hasn’t found that balance yet.

The next day, I stared quietly at my laptop. Yoongi had given me a link to the mixtape. Names of the tracks, and the mixtape in its entirety, were missing. I assumed he did it on purpose so I didn’t go snooping to find out who exactly he was. Of course, if he was really that famous, I would be able to actually just look up the lyrics and find out just exactly who this mysterious man truly is. However, he seems to value his privacy. I didn’t really feel like upsetting him and digging too much into it, even though I would be suffocating from curiosity the entire time.

Plugging in my headphones, I clicked on the first track labeled “01”. My ears were immediately met with an upbeat sound that was almost completely jumbled. It was a mess of sound and yet, it sounded so captivating. Agust D? Is that what he was spelling? Before I could think too much, the next track began to play. “02” it was titled. The beat was almost identical to the first.

When I found out Yoongi did music, my first thought was that he was a singer. But dear god, I was horribly misled. This boy- no, this man- was such a godly rapper that I almost forgot how to breathe as I listened to him continuously spit out his lyrics. The song’s beat was my favorite part, the rapping only made it so much better. It was a song basically rubbing his success in his competitions’ faces. The lyrics to this song weren’t anything special, typical songs really, but the way he presented it was fantastic. His unrealistically fast pace draws you in and keeps you gripped. I barely ever heard him talk, and now listening to him fire off syllable after syllable at such a speedy rate was amazing. Thrilling. Captivating.

I took a good break after the second track- that I concluded was titled Agust D or something of the like. I continued to listen to the rest of the mixtape, and soon I slowly began to understand the purpose of this mixtape. After I got over my initial shock from the raw talent he possessed, pieces began to fall into place.

The opening track was him taking credit for all of the success that he had, making it known that his hard work paid off and he’s damn better than any of your second-rate rappers. Then, he took a back track to discuss all of his struggles when it came to obtaining his success. He had struggled with what seemed to be anxiety or depression- maybe even both- but despite it, kept going. He became greedy, though. He let the fame get to his head for a while. After a while, he had to step back to reflect. He looked back on his dreams that once seemed so far away, but yet he was here now.

This mixtape had me going from feeling like I could punch the world in the face to wanting to curl into a ball and cry. The roller coaster of emotions was most definitely worth it, and immediately upon finishing it, I had taken some time to think over everything. After that, I was scrambling to contact Yoongi. I sent a text with no immediate response and soon grew impatient. I settled on calling him.

The line rang momentarily before a clock sounded through my ears. A sigh was heard on the other side, and I quickly sat up on my bed (which I was formerly curled up in the fetal position on). Sniffling quietly, I let out a shaky breath. This seemed to grab his attention.

“Shit, Y/N?” His voice was deeper over the phone. Or maybe I had interrupted his sleep? It was nearly midnight after all. I mentally cursed myself as he continued, “Fuck, did something happen?” Worry drenched his tone.

I sniffed again, wiping my nose. I shook my head no as if he could actually see me, “I listened to your mixtape.” Was all I could manage to breathe out in my current state. I sure was adept at making a complete and utter fool out of myself. 

“Oh yeah?” A chuckled filled my ears. It was such a nice change from the harsh rapping I was hearing earlier. It reminded me that the soft Yoongi I knew definitely existed. “Was it that bad that you felt the need to cry?” He hummed into the phone.

I sunk down onto the bed with a quiet plop, my hair sprawling out around my head. “The opposite actually. I had no idea.”

“No idea about what?” Yoongi inquired. I heard a quiet bit of shifting around him and the sounds of voices around him. Someone was calling for him. I pushed thoughts of who it could be to the back of my mind and continued on with my original mission- to discuss his mixtape and what all it really means.

“Everything.” I was about to go on a complete ramble about everything I felt during the mixtape, but instead sighed. “I concluded one thing though.” I paused, hoping I wasn’t stepping over any boundaries with this. “You’re in a k-pop group, right?” I paused for a second before popping another question, “And... how do you feel? Are you okay?”

Yoongi drew in a long breath. It sounded almost disappointed, and I immediately regretted it. “Yeah.” He sighed. More voices were in the background. “One second, someone is-“

A lot of shuffling was heard this time, until finally, an unfamiliar voice came from the other line. “Hello! The mysterious lady Yoongi has been talking to recently, might I get a name please?”

I stammered, completely awe-struck. I heard voices, but I didn’t think they’d steal Yoongi’s phone. He can be a pretty intimidating guy when he’s serious, I definitely wouldn’t want to play around with his property. As silence hung over us, I soon realized I should probably pipe up. “Sorry. W-who’s this?” My voice definitely cracked at least seventeen times.

“He didn’t even tell you about me? Aish, this guy!” The mystery man sighed, over-exaggerating his exasperation. “I’m Seokjin!” Seokjin exclaimed proudly. I’m sure that if I were in front of him, he’d have a huge smile on his face. Or perhaps a smirk?

“Well, nice to meet you Seokjin. I’m Y/N.” I sighed, a small smile cracking onto my lips. “I’d love to chat, but I was chatting with Yoongi and-“

“Damnit Jin, give it back!” Yoongi suddenly yelled and I stopped speaking entirely. The line went silent momentarily and I presumed that Seokjin conceded in giving back Yoongi’s phone. A bit of shuffling filled my ears again until Yoongi’s usual sigh graced my ears. “Sorry Y/N, we’re in the middle of something. We can chat later.” His tone was a lot harsher than earlier. Why did he have to be so crass?

He hung up abruptly, not giving me much of a chance to utter goodbyes.. It was nearly midnight. What could he possibly be doing? The line went dead and I slowly dropped my phone onto the bed besides my head. A drawn out sigh fell from my lips as I turned onto my side, curling up in a slight ball. Whenever I felt that we were starting to get closer, or that I was beginning to figure him out, he just got farther. Isn’t that pleasant?

He said we would chat later, but his definition of later was a lot longer than mine. Hours turned into days, days into weeks. Weeks into an entire month. What was he possibly doing 24/7 that made it so impossible to send me one little text? At this point, I was craving for his attention that even a simple word would’ve been enough. 

In his absence, I was craving knowledge on his whereabouts that I nearly gave him a quick google search to see what exactly he was apart of. A k-pop group, yes, but how famous are they? How have I not heard of him or seen him at some point?

This ignorance seemed to be short-lived, however. I should’ve figured I couldn’t remain blissfully unaware of his career forever, especially if he’s on as big of a scale as he claimed to be. 

It was a normal day for the most part, except for one major detail. We had one day of break for high schoolers to come and check out the campus. Normally this wouldn’t be too bad, but Mina and I were apart of one of the committees guiding everyone around campus.  Whereas Mina was so incredibly excited for it, I was dreading it completely. As a fresh graduate myself, I still had a pretty good idea on the different types of seniors.

Some would be on this open-campus trip simply to get out of classes. They’d be messing around the entire time and quite frankly, I had plenty of that when I was still their age. Or you would have the chatty bunch that feel the need to comment on every little thing you say, snickering while they’re at it. Perhaps I was being a bit cynical, but I figured high schoolers wouldn’t have changed much since the three years that I graduated.

Things went smoothly enough, and I did my best to drown out their annoying chatter. My curiosity piqued when I heard the mention of... Agust D? I turned to see a girl and a guy walking close together, peering at one of their phones. 

“Honestly though,” The guy sighed, “After hixtape and RM’s second mixtape, can we pllllleeeease,” He threw his hands in the air, grasping the phone tightly, “Have Agust D part two?”

The girl giggled, grabbing the other’s arms and pulling them back down to gaze at the phone. “They’re busy with their Japanese album, I bet.” She sighed, “BTS is always so busy, no wonder that hixtape took like, two years, to come out.”

“Yoongi will do it one day,” The boy frowned, “Until then I’ll just listen to So Far Away on repeat.”

It was at that point that I turned away, deciding to tune out their definitely private conversation. Eavesdropping isn’t something I’m proud to do, but since it was about Yoongi, I could barely resist. Their short conversation definitely cleared a few things up for me. Guilty as I felt for listening in, and finding out about something Yoongi wasn’t comfortable to share with me yet, I was somewhat content now.

Yoongi wasn’t ignoring me because I was a nuisance. He was probably just busy working on another album. Or better yet, another mixtape? The guys I’ve met  around him previously are most certainly apart of that group... BTS. I thought to give him a call on it, but I should just wait until he spills it, right?

Probably.

I already know now, so what’s the harm in digging into their group a little bit? No personal information needed... I just wanted to listen to their songs, or maybe even learn their names.

And I did just that.

I came to easily recognize the face of Yoongi, and his stage name, which was awfully fitting, Suga. I was able to vaguely recognize the one called Hoseok I had met during my second encounter with Yoongi. He was called J-Hope. It was cute and seemingly fitting for such a bright guy. Jungkook was the one I saw at first. If Mina found out about this, she would definitely be all over BTS.

I was able to put a face to the cheerful voice of Seokjin. I thought Jin was simply a nickname from the way Yoongi had used it, but that was apparently his stage name. 

All of their music was uniquely different from most things I’ve heard before. It seemed that with each album, their style evolved into something better and better, constantly outdoing their last. It was amazing that I hadn’t heard of them before considering how absolutely huge they are, especially with international fans.

As I fell deeper into the hole that was k-pop, I was soon pulled back into reality. Nearly a month later since I had initially called Yoongi regarding his mixtape, he had contacted me. After weeks of trying to get a hold of him first, he sent me a small text. My heart fluttered so much I thought that I was going to forget how to breathe.

He was simply requesting to meet up after such a long time of absence, stating plainly that he finally caught a break. Apparently he had a want he wanted to discuss. In person.

With all my newfound information on him, I was almost scared to say yes. But I had been waiting for this moment for essentially an entire month. Of course there was no way I was turning him down now.

Although, in hindsight, I kind of wished that I did.

[theres-no-paradise]

Sorry not Sorry

Chapter 9 

Summary:  A random number wakes you up early on a Saturday morning. But it doesn't stop there. The stranger keeps on sending messages, and you have no idea what is happening, when you start to develop feelings for the unknown person.

Pairings: Tom Holland  x Reader [submit your name: How it works]

Y/N your Name

Word Count:  1415

Warnings: none

A/N: Sorry for the late update. This is more like a filler chapter, with the next one, the main part of the story will start, so we are working ourselves into the plot now! I hope you still like this little short update. :)

Chapter 1  •  Chapter 2  •  Chapter 3  •  Chapter 4  •  Chapter 5  •  Chapter 6  •  Chapter 7  •  Chapter 8 Chapter 10

A few days have passed since Tom had left the country and you were sitting on your sofa, home alone, staring at the little rectangular device on your table. You knew, he was busy filming this new film he had mentioned before during one of your conversations. It excited you a lot, thinking about it but there was also this weird longing inside you. A little twitch in your chest, that always appeared when you thought about Montreal and how far it was away from London. How far away he was. You grabbed your phone and opened the messenger, typing in a quick message for Tom.

You: How’s Montreal?

Once you pressed the send button, you stared a little while on the screen until it automatically turned black. A frustrated groan escaped your lips as you threw yourself backwards on the sofa. It was late in London so it must've been sometime after Lunch in Canada. Maybe Tom had a little break or day off, who knew but you hoped for an answer soon.

It felt like ages and it was close to midnight when your smartphone vibrated and indicated a new message. Tired and a little groggy you got hold of the device and checked out the message, that was shown on the screen. You sighed and rubbed your eyes from the bright light that was irritating your them before you got to read the message.

The Spiderman: Really loving it so far. How have you been?

You: Glad to hear! I’m tired.  And drowning in paperwork. I’d love to burn down my office at some point.

That was true. Work has been very exhausting the past few days and you had to work overtime most days. It was good on one side because it made you think less about Tom. On the other it still didn't matter because even if you had one single thought about him, you knew you missed him. A lot. It was too early to admit though, so you kept quiet about it and tried to avoid this topic at any cost.

The Spiderman: Someone needs holidays

You: not affordable lol

The Spiderman: You can have Tessa. She’s a great Stress relief and that's basically like holidays too :)

Did he really just write that? Did Thomas Stanley Holland offer you to have his dog for stress relief? You sat up in your bed as your re-read the message out loud. You weren't imagining this message but yet you still repeated what he wrote, just in case there could be a misunderstanding.

You: You'd actually allow me to have Tess? Like for real?

The Spiderman: I saw you two together. I trust you with her.

You: You're crazy!

The Spiderman: Well, I tried to help

It seemed that he really meant it but you didn't feel comfortable, having a dog in your apartment that you only met once. It was also unclear if there were dogs allowed on this property anyway, you needed to check that out for sure.

You: If my stress level rises even more, I’ll get back at your offer

The Spiderman: Sure thing! Any Plans tonight?

You laughed at his question as you made yourself comfortable on your bed once again.

You: Nah, just staying in, binge watching Stranger Things

‘And thinking about you’, you thought, but didn't write. It was awful how fast this boy had you curled around his finger even though you tried to tell yourself, that it needed to develop slowly. That was definitely the opposite of careful and slow but whenever you talked to him, you couldn't care less.

The Spiderman: Sounds fun. I’d love to join

And there it was again. The little attempt of Tom flirting with you.

You: I don't think you'd enjoy watching with me

The Spiderman: aww don't say that. I bet I would!

You: I’ll let you try it once

The Spiderman: Promise?

You: Promise.

And after that, you fell asleep peacefully in your sheets, the TV still on in the background.

The Spiderman: I’m bored. Entertain me

You were surprised when you heard your phone buzz as Toms message appeared on the Screen. You didn't expect him to message you so quick after the other night, since its only been a couple of days. Of course your exchange of messages got less than in the beginning but that was only because the two of you were busy working and the time difference didnt make it easy on you either.

You: Got nothing to do?

You messaged back, as you got into the train that’d take you back home from work.

The Spiderman: Sitting around and getting makeup done

You: lol your ugly ass needs makeup

You imagined Tom sitting still in a chair with a woman standing next to him, plastering all kinds of colour on his face to make him look suitable for his role. You giggled at the thought and reacted to the next message, that came in just before arriving at your destination.

The Spiderman: I need to look beat up lmao

You: Don't you always look like that?

There was no response until you got home. At first you thought he might be mad at you but his countermessage made you laugh out loud and you were pretty sure, that Tom was smiling as well.

The Spiderman: Well, I might look beat up but at least I'm no babyface grandma!

You: But even when I'm 50 I’ll still look like 30, So i've got that goin’ for me

The Spiderman: True though. A real keeper

You: Go away

The Spiderman: :)

Groaning, you put your phone back on the table. How was it even possible, that this guy made you laugh so easy? You shook your head in disbelief about Tom's words. Keeper. He said you’re a keeper but did he really mean it that way? ‘Stop Overthinking!’, you scolded yourself but it didn't help. You got this warm fuzzy feeling inside of you and liked it. You started to like the way Tom made you feel and the anxiety about the thought of you two dating started to fade.

It was the middle of the week and you were utterly bored when you arrived back home from work. Not knowing what to do with your time, you grabbed your laptop and started to surf the internet. You went from News sites to Facebook, checked out Twitter and at last you found yourself checking out videos on Youtube. Then something kinda hit you and you typed in Toms Name in the Search bar. ‘Okay, lets see what happens’ you thought, as you pressed the enter tab on your keyboard.

Many videos of Tom in different interviews popped up and you watched through some of them, smiling like a donkey in love. After you’ve seen a few, something else popped into your eyes and with a curious look you clicked the video. You had no idea what would come up next.

You: You have my heart and we'll never be worlds apart

The Spiderman: ??

You: Maybe in magazines, but you'll still be my star

The Spiderman: Oh no …

You: Baby, 'cause in the dark

The Spiderman: Stop

You: You can't see shiny cars

The Spiderman: I got it

You: And that's when you need me there

The Spiderman: This is hilarious

You: With you I'll always share BECAUSE

The Spiderman: I'm gonna block your number lol

You: When the sun shines, we shine together Told you I'll be here forever Said I'll always be your friend Took an oath that I'm a stick it out till the end

The Spiderman: You've seen the lip sync … I got it

You: You can stand under my umbrella, ella, ella, EH, EH, EH

The Spiderman: Are you finished?

You: I pissed myself watching it

The Spiderman: Would've loved to see your reaction :D

You: How did you do that?

The Spiderman: What do you mean?

You: The dancing!! Where did you learn to perform like that??

The Spiderman: Uhh, I went to classes and been in a musical? Lmao

You: What are you even??

The Spiderman: :D

You: No seriously. You're unreal. Some Alien or what not

The Spiderman: I can teach you some stuff if you want

You: Nah, I'm a potato. I'm not even able to stand next to you without tripping.

The Spiderman: Noo you’d do great. I'm a good teacher

You: I bet you are

The Spiderman: ;)

Taglist: @hollandorks  @beardedsteveslut @ilivefortomholland @casualprincess77 @agirlwithpointlessideas @isabellamozarella03 @MENDES-HOLLAND @thiswildfire @wastedheartnat @hollandbaby @moonofmy-life @smileylaurens @random-fandom-lady @heartoftheadventure @blackazkaban @augurydemon @homecomjng @punkass-potato @unfoldingdaydreams @thefriendlyneighborhoodspidey @rivedale @tiffanypooh@claraholland

[thedappleddragon]

last night I dreamed that I was an archeologist tortoise and I was looking at dozens of “human” skeletons in Buckingham palace that was also my backyard. the skeletons all looked like combo human and turtle because the whole torso looked basically like the first google image result for sea turtle skeleton. then my sister woke me up, giving me a comforter and telling me my mom need help with some things.  cleaned up around the living room and did some laundry and boiled some eggs and made meatloaf and swept the floor. the meatloaf turned out surprisingly good, idk what I did differently. I evemtually went back to my room and tried to remember what I wanted to do today. last night as I was falling asleep I told myself that I was gonna clear off my desk so I could finally use it, so I moved some stuff around and set up my laptop. I havent been able to sit at a real actual desk in SO LONG and its SO NICE to have just like a space where I can sit down and work and have a chair that will support my back instead of sitting cross legged on my bed or laying down while doing stuff on my laptop. it almost makes me feel productive even I'm just playing the sims. I feel especially cool when im just typing out whatever bullshit because it makes me feel like im at an office job typing up ~important documents~ :) idk man I think quarantine has changed me lmao. if im getting this many emotions from just being able to sit down at a desk and do ANYTHING idk how im gonna handle collage. I keep calling whetever im doing (playing the sims, scrolling through Tumblr, typing up this summary of the day) work because it just. feels nice sitting at a desk and typing. even if it’s dumb bullshit!! idk how to describe it I just feel amazing. it makes me feel like im writing a paper with all the horrible parts like research and thinking. the sound of typing on my MacBook makes me feel like im in school again, but without the horrible stressful parts. idk mn I know I've been going on about this desk and stuff for too long and im gonna hate it if I eventually read back through these daily logs but I just feel so nice. ill change topics anyway. I hung up my calendar again! I literally didn't have any open wall space aside from maybe the wall behind my bed but why the hell would I put a calendar where I can't see it. instead its kind of hanging above my closet. I pinned it to the wooden board in the “doorway” (idk what other word to use) where there would normally be sliding doors that open and shut if they hadn't been taken off YEARS ago. I also played a lot of the sims 4, juggling aspirations for 5 sims. I quit because I got frustrated that all my sims are dumb and the ai Is buggy and doesn't let me do what I want them to do. I also plopped in a house on my family’s old lot and spent some time adjusting the colors and the trees and adding those paper craft cieling things that can either have stars or leaves or snowflakes that came in the free winter holiday stuff pack and holy shit as soon as I found those I think they became my new favorite decoration item. I threw them everywhere but eventually took down most of them, leaving some leaf ones in the bedroom. I was gonna move in a family of a bunch of young adults and children to help with the first kid’s serial romantic aspiration and one of the twin’s social butterfly aspiration, but I ended up not doing that in favor of just decorating more and playing with the family some more. one thing I realized while playing is that there are fucking MICE in my CIELING. well not really in the cieling, in the attic, but I can hear them chewing on shit and its sucks. I would turn on a fan to drown out the noise but my room is fucking FREEZING. I threw the blanket back over my window hoping that it would keep heat from escaping but I don't think that really did anything. so after freezing my ass off I got fed up and put on fluffy socks under normal socks, wore my owl onesie as pants over my shorts, put on my comfy (oversized hoodie), and threw a fluffy blanket over my shoulders. thankfully I was pretty cozy after that, but as I type this after taking off the cosy and blanket, I can feel my toes getting cold again. damnit. ANYWAY after quitting the sims for the night I ate some salad and got a heart shaped crouton :) and I scrolled through Tumblr for a bit. then I decided to finally work on the paws my friend wanted. but I couldn't find the pattern so I instead worked on the brown paws instead. I could only work on them so much, since I still have to finish the lining before I can do much else. I attached the backs of the fingers to the back of the hand. I didnt get much down but what matters is that I did SOMETHING. I'm gonna keep an eye out for that pattern that I need, and if I cant find it, I'll just make a new pattern. tbh I think thad’s be the better way to go anyway since I wouldn't have to figure out how the fuck the old one goes together and I can also have a pattern that perfectly fits the foam underneath. also tbh i have mixed feeling about the white paws my friend wants. I like how dextrous they are and how easily you can emote and move your fingers, but I dont like how ovular I made the paw pads and the hints of black thread peaking out where I sewed the pads from the back. I WOULD just remake them with the free curl works pattern im using for the brown paws but I figure I might as well finish this pair since there’s already one done and the foam interior is already made. whatever. I dont wanna think about it too much. I also dont like the head that goes with the paws, it was a fish job in comparison to my first head and I kinda hate it. but I think I'll eventually get some longer fur for the neck and a hair poof and cheeks (maybe) and do a little refurbishing and give it to my friend if she ever wants it, since it matches the paws and all. I have lots of plans for my 2 WIP heads but not all the materials/motivation. plus I just need to let the ideas stir before I do unything, making sure they’re goof before I act on them. I'm exited that I can shave down fur relativey easily and evenly without an electric dog shaver, which opens up a lot of opportunities. anyway as I was working on the brown paws I had TAZ on in the background and it still baffles me a little bit how different griffin and Matt mercer operate as dms like holy shit. its really funny. and it got me thinking about how I wouldn't mind dming for my friend group if he chance ever arose. I DO have the forgotten realms campaign setting book. I haven't actually looked at it but I assume it has a few pre-built quests and plot lines n stuff in it. I'll probably take a better look at in the morning when it’s not 1:40 am. dang now I'm thinking about my Minecraft dnd idea again. I think the real problem keeping me from being a dm is that I CANNOT keep a straight face when doing improv/roleplaying, so I dont know how well I could hold together a world for them to play in. I would love to give it a try tho. not with the Minecraft idea at the same time, fuck no. I would need to do like. a classic vanilla dnd experience the first time, maybe even using our tiefling family characters since I'm at least a little familiar with them. can you dm and also play your own character? is that fair? is that a think you can do? I think that could be fun but also hard to juggle and also maybe kinda suck because you’d already know all the answers to all the puzzles. meh. actually now I kind of really want to look through thet book tonight instead of in the morning. also I mentioned overnight oats a few days ago I think, and the first morning it was kinda gross, the second time I ate it was still a little gross texture wise, but I finished it off tonight and it was pretty good. maybe next time I'll try it without the banana and a little less milk and maybe slice up an apple into little cubes for texture. hell yeah peanut butter apple cinnamon brown sugar overnight oats. that sound pretty dang good actually. I'll try that some time, but I dont think I can right now because I dont think we have any apples in the house. phooey. I should also probably put this oatmeal cp in the sink before it becomes impossible to clean. holy shit how long have I been writing? SEE THE DESK MAKES ME JUST WANNA KEEP WRITING AND WRITING FOREVER I FEEL SO PRODUCTIVE EVEN IF IM NOT DOING ANYTHING PRODUCTIVE!! I love just typing and typing forever its so soothing just hearing the tapping of the keyboard and getting my thought out without actually having to think that hard about it. goddamn im never gonna read back through this this is a nightmare lmao. no paragraph breaks no capitalization no nothin. I dont even wanna stop typing even though my arm is starting to hurt a little but from leaning the edge of the desk. now im thinking about the movie soul again and the cat as it rides on the escalator to the great beyond and how that dude in the band was the main characters student and how that scene with the girl trying to quit music and then immediately changed her mind didnt make any sense. like what the hell I dont understand that scene at all. also thinking about the transition where he’s like “ok repeat after me” as he’s in the cat and the camera goes over the mom’s shoulder and it’s just him talking, I like how they did that instead of doing dialouge between him and the cat. idk man. I think maybe I should stop typing now since my body is starting to hurt. sorry for putting this H U G E wall of text on your dash but I just like typing out my thoughts :) goodnight!

edit: OH I forgot to talk about something else!! last night I was thinking about valentines day and how cute it would be to have a little overall dress in the pattern on one of my childhood blankets, its like a light pink with white hearts on it so I looked up some fabrics and none of them were the right pattern. I also looked up a sewing pattern that I think would look nice and its on sale right now! I totally want to try and make it, but fabric is expensive so I think I might look at dollar tree for fleece baby blankets because I know they have them there, I bought a few a while ago for some plush sewing projects. they’re decently sized so I think I could do it.idk how many I would need to buy tho. or I might go to goodwill and look for a pink sheet? I have a thin pink blanket that could theoretically work but I want to use a planet im not attached to. or even just find a few big shirts in the same shade of pink? then I could maybe line it with something. I have red purple and white satin but that’s literally the worst fuckin fabric in the world to work with. my first experience with sewing was trying to make plushies out of satin and holy hell idk how I did it. anyway even though I literally never wear dresses I think it would be a fun project to try and make myself a cute little valentines dress. :) I could even give myself POCKETS >:)))

[mytwitterisdogtoast1]

Pendulums are the worst.

So I’ve been playing the game for a long long time. Long enough that I’ve been here since LOB and have seen the game progress through almost every series. (Haven’t found a decent place to watch Vrains yet so I sit here and wait.) Now firstly let me get a few things out of the way. I am super casual. I’m a fan of playing a card game and new stuff does not bother me. I rolled with the punches for a long time before I finally stopped playing but recently I got back into the game and I figured out what the main issue was and if you read the title you already know where this is going. Pendulums are effectively the worst mechanic of summoning in the game. Now I get it, games need to evolve to stay fresh and let people have something new to play with and I’m not mad at Konami for making new stuff to move the game along and sure, I understand that a ton of changes were made based on the series at hand and how they progressed and so on. I also understand that in order to really get people to buy new product you wanna get things to work in order for you to actually have people NEED/WANT that new product. However, in some respects, you can actually give both people who want to use older stuff and newer stuff a chance to thrive. Let’s look at the mechanics for extra deck summoning we have.       Fusions - You use 2 specific monsters (for the most part) and a magic card to bring them out. Sure fusions have slightly changed to fit the fast pace of the current meta game and also are much stronger than they used to be but it essentially has not changed to something different.      Synchros - Take 2 monsters. Specifically one that has the mechanic to “fuse” them together with any other monsters to equal the amount of stars the monster you want is and you get relatively the same thing as fusion without needing a specific magic card in your deck.      XYZ - Take a specific number of monsters with the same levels and over lay them to basically fuse together but you can only use its effect a limited amount of times based on the monsters “fused” together.      Link - Take a number of monsters or a link monster and some other monsters and summon a monster equal to its link number. It goes in a specific spot so that it can link other monsters and connect them together. It also stays in attack forever because fuck it why not. Now let’s look at the non extra deck summoning mechanics we have.      Pendulum - Grab 2 monsters. Throw them into their own little zones. Look at their special numbers. Summon a shit ton of monsters from your hand or side deck that are able to be specifically summoned through this summoning method. Now I’m not a genius but this looks vastly different to the flow of the game. Now look I could make some complaints here and there about extra decks and how the game has evolved to need more than 15 cards in it for using mechanics that keep using the extra deck except they made a draw card that allows you to banish cards from the extra deck and draw cards for it. But that’s not the argument I’m trying to make. The argument I’m putting forth is that Pendulum is by far the worst mechanic. So why is Pendulum the worst mechanic? Well to be honest it’s because it doesn’t work the same way as the others. Sure it’s a perfectly fine mechanic in and of itself if the game was moving away from the whole idea of using anything BUT Pendulums but they didn’t do that. Pendulums only really work with Pendulums and no I don’t mean you can’t use anything else I mean that 90% of Pendulum themes are specific towards their own types. Look at something from any other era of the game and you can probably find a couple of cards that really can go into any single deck. It’s possible but Pendulums mostly in general only want you to run that mechanic. Now if we took something such as let’s say a Synchro monster you can find a ton of them that can be slapped into any single deck even if you need tuners but there are tons of tuners that work with any single deck and even then krebons and plaguespreader zombie are just amazing cards that just work. There are a ton of cards that work with these mechanics more than anything else and they are just straight up good cards. Look at XYZ and Links the same exact way. Even if we don’t get the best generic cards that work in decks there are a ton of Links and XYZ in general that don’t need specific cards to be summoned that work really well. Pendulums? Well you kind of need them to work with themselves in general which is fine but most of the ones you get specifically only allow you to summon or use their theme. There are barely any non specific things that allow you to use their mechanic on anything and even then the ones that do really really really only benefit their theme. Let’s look at one of the most fair ones to use. Performapals. They benefit hardly anyone outside of their own theme and the ones who are decent don’t have a wide range of monsters who can be summoned with them. In fact the mechanic is so toxic when the rules change happened because Vrains ended they let every other mechanic that wasn’t Pendulum be summoned in the non link area. Then because no one is going to use Pendulums anymore because they lost all the power they had they threw the Pendulum area into the magic and trap area. I understand all the traps and magic cards you play wont stay so it’s not a “big deal” but it ruins an entire mechanic tons of people spent money on and now they can’t possibly use it as much as they want.  I get as a guy who stopped playing when they dropped the second set of Pendulums that my opinion doesn’t “amount to much” but to be fair I still actually like the game. I think the issue is that as much as it is indeed a fun game it changes so hard all the time. Like right now Sevens kind of just threw away the older game and made a new mechanic of older shit exists now, nothing else, and just play your whole damn hand. Also here is a new board. Now I’m not a negative Nancy and I can find myself willing to play it (if it was brought to America and translated or at least just translated so I could print them out and play for funsies) but now no cards from the new stuff work with the old stuff. Although they still pump out older style cards. The issue with that though is without a new summoning mechanic to even change the game Pendulums are still kind of pointless now.  In the end I think my biggest gripe is that this whole mechanic was just either pointless or was bad to begin with. The themes could have been their own extra deck theme. Hell, you could have made them specifically summon from the extra deck but only allow a set amount to be summoned at a time for faster paced summoning while also allowing the mechanic to flow freely on its own. Let’s look at it more like this. Pendulum monsters can summon specific monsters that are also Pendulums from the extra deck. You can play certain pendulum monsters in the deck which would make them spell cards. Then you can take the ones in the extra deck and treat them as specifically monsters and summon them. You would have a limit to the amount of monsters to summon but not the amount to summon. You could a total of 3 times summon 5 monsters. Lastly this would also allow them to not over flow the game with the ridiculous mechanic of resummoning a monster who is a Pendulum monster from the extra deck.  As a person who uses Pendulums for a dark magician deck I made for fun I get that they have a specific use for them. TBH I love the deck I made and wouldn’t want it to be changed. This is for how it works now. However, if that was the way they were meant to be used than in general I think it would have been a better mechanic over all. Either way you look at it, Pendulums are the worst summoning mechanic right now. Compared to others because it has been ruined by the new master rule or the fact that it is in general more unhealthy than other mechanics.