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#i blame under the moonlight
whorefordean · 1 month
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attitude adjustment || r.c
wc: 1.7k
cw: mean rafe, reader is kinda bratty, rafe calls reader a bitch, a yummy headlock (will be putting this into every fic probs), p in v sex, unprotected sex, pussy slaps, slight cockwarming
MDNI 18+
rafe sleeps soundly beside you, and that alone is enough to make you hate him. well, not actually hate him, but still. his strong arm is draped across your hip, hand splayed flat across your stomach. his rings glint in the subtle glow of the moonlight.
most people would see this as an act of endearment, however, rafe decided to hold true to his promise of punishing you.
"been such a fucking brat this week, and i'm not in the mood to deal with you," rafe had scolded you earlier in the day while squeezing your cheeks together with a firm grip. you had simply pouted, knowing that eventually he would deal with it by fucking the attitude out of you.
wishful thinking.
it had been three hours since that ordeal and two since rafe had gone to sleep. in those two hours, you'd tossed and turned, secretly hoping it would wake rafe up. apparently, you hadn't lost the attitude, even if the day was over.
as you rolled over again to face rafe, you caved. you trailed your hand up his bare chest.
"rafe?" you whispered softly. you waited a moment, watching as he remained unbothered and peaceful. damn him.
as your arousal built and your panties got wetter, you got more desperate. you slipped your leg over his hip, trying to wedge yourself as close as possible to him.
"rafe!" you pleaded for him to wake up. this time, a groan echoed throughout the room. his hand slipped up your leg, resting on your ass right below your tiny shorts.
"still got a fucking attitude," he grumbled in annoyance. you whined causing him to grip onto you tighter. finally opening his eyes, rafe glared at you.
"what do you want? huh?" rafe asked meanly. you pouted up at him as you began placing soft pecks against his bare chest, slowly making your way up his neck.
you shift until your straddling rafe’s hips, his hand still tucked possessively under your shorts. you whine when your hips shift against his as you lean down to his ear.
“need you, rafe,” you tell him quietly, kissing his cheek slowly. rafe groans.
“huh uh. been such a bitch to me lately. for no reason. not gonna reward you for your bad fucking behavior,” rafe scolds you tiredly. anger rises in you as you sit up. crossing your arms over your chest, you glare at him.
“well, maybe, i wouldn’t be acting like such a bitch if you fucked me good-“ you start to blame him. it’s a lie you don’t get to finish because rafe cuts you off.
“i dare you to finish that fucking sentence. if i wasn’t fucking you good enough, you wouldn’t be waking me up right now. wouldn’t be rubbing that wet pussy against my fucking cock, begging me to fuck you to sleep. such a fucking needy brat,” rafe hisses, slapping your ass roughly. you gape at him, half shocked half angered, because he’s right.
“you’re being mean!” you nearly yell at him. you try to grind yourself against him again but rafe holds your hips still for a minute before shoving you off of him.
“rafe!” you yelp as you tumble back to your side of the bed. rafe is quick to pounce on you, pressing your chest firmly into the mattress. his legs barricade your thighs, and you can feel his half hard cock against your ass. your hips lift, but rafe shoved them back down.
“wanna get fucked? hm? that gonna fix that fucking attitude? fine. i’ll fuck you. i'll make you feel good so that maybe next time, you’ll use your fucking words instead of bitching and whining all goddamn day,” rafe grits out as he rips your shorts down your legs. you gasp once at the cold air hitting your bare cunt, then again when rafe shoves your shirt up and yanks it over your head.
“rafe!” you yelp when rafe moves himself just enough to yank your hips up and give your dripping pussy a harsh slap.
“quit. start complaining and i’ll have to stuff that throat. you’ll take what i give you, brat,” rafe grunts, slapping your wetness again. pouting, you nod anyways.
rafe’s fingers linger near your clit, and it’s an effort to not grind yourself against his thick fingers. the bedsheets are wrinkled in your hands as you try to calm your breathing and keep your attitude in check. the temptation is there, but you refrain from begging him for something. anything.
finally, rafe sinks two of his fingers into you. a soft moan echoes out of your lips as your eyes flutter shut. before you can relish in the feeling for too long, rafe stops. he keeps his fingers buried inside you, but he doesn’t move. you wait. nothing. lifting yourself up, you turn to face rafe. your breath hitches when your movement causes his fingers to shift.
“rafe? please do something,” you beg him softly, mind reeling with need. at this point, you don’t care about keeping up the attitude. the need for his cock to be buried in you is too much to resist.
“oh, now that i’ve got my fingers in you, you’ll be nice? hm? i wanted to spend all night in this fucking pussy, but that fucking attitude…” rafe trails off, watching the way you shift your hips slightly, trying to thrust against his fingers.
“i’ll be better. promise, rafe,” you mumble when you notice the way he’s staring so intently at your exposed core. rafe thrusts his fingers a few times, watching as you match him with your own thrusts.
“you gonna work for it?” he mumbles. your hips falter but not from pleasure. you wanted rafe to do the work. wanted rafe to put you in your place. not make you do all the work even if it is your orgasm at stake here. rafe notices your hesitation and laughs darkly.
“no, i guess you wouldn’t. need me to do all the work to make sure you feel good. ain’t that right?” rafe teases. you open your mouth to respond, but he stops you. 
"if the next words out of your mouth aren't thank you, rafe, then don't say anything," rafe grunts as he pushes his fingers further into your cunt.
"thank you, rafe!" you gasp, lifting your hips slightly in an attempt to meet his thrusts.
"that's it, baby," rafe hums under his breath. your eyes snap shut when rafe's thumb starts toying with your needy clit. a whine rumbles from your throat as you tilt your head, trying to bury your sounds into the mattress. rafe grips your hair, tilting your head back until he can hear you better.
"don't fucking hide from me. you been begging for this," rafe snaps. his fingers slip out of you unexpectedly. you cry out, eyes snapping open as you look back at him. the pout on your face mixed with the pleading look in your eyes almost has him apologizing even if you deserve his meanness.
"need you, rafe," you whine, lifting your hips again. this time, rafe lets you grind your exposed pussy against his covered cock. your fingers ache, white knuckling the sheets under you. rafe's heavy hand is gripping your stuttering hips, and you can hear the breathy moans he's letting out.
"fuck, baby," rafe grunts. he stops your hips again, and you almost push him off of you, so you can finish the job yourself. you refrain though because an orgasm by yourself? wonderful. an orgasm given to you by rafe? fucking heavenly.
"rafe, please," you whine. rafe mumbles something along the lines of fucking impatient, but you ignore him, too focused on finding release.
you almost beg him again, but then rafe is slipping his hardened cock into you. you gnaw on your lip as he settles fully inside your aching walls.
this might be heaven, you think as rafe leans down to kiss your jaw. the action is a complete one eighty from his previous, but you don't object to it. you sigh in relief when he finally starts pumping his cock into you, slowly at first.
then, he's bottoming out repeatedly until your gasping for a single fucking breath. you grip at his arm beside your head, but rafe moves it out of your grasp before gripping your hand in his. your eyes lull shut as rafe continues to prove you wrong.
he had never been bad at fucking you, but you have always had an attitude problem.
rafe readjusts, lowering himself until his mouth is directly beside your ear.
"this what you wanted?" rafe asks quietly, slowing his thrusts while he deepens them. you nod, mind going blank when rafe slips his arm around you. he settles his bicep under your throat, effectively putting you in a headlock as he slips deeper into you.
"fuck, rafe. thank you," you pant. his hand leaves yours to rub at your clit. you moan out, your orgasm approaching. rafe fucks you through it, only using the slick to further your pleasure. you grip at rafe's bicep when he doesn't stop, even after you've cum.
"rafe, i can't-"
"you will," rafe interrupts. his voice is rough when he says it, and you almost beg him to keep going. he must have hear the thought because he doesn't slow down, continuing to fuck you even as you tremble under him. you try to push your hips further into the mattress, but rafe follows you. your eyes roll back in pleasure.
your second orgasm approaches faster than the last, and you can't stop the moans falling from your lips. you pry rafe's arm from around your throat. well, you attempt to pry his arm away.
his grip is firm as he finally spills his cum into your cunt. you pant when he finally slows down before fully stopping.
the two of you sit in silence, rafe still holding you tight in his grip. your cheek rests against rafe's bicep as you lay there, finally satisfied after being perpetually horny for the last week.
"thank you, rafe," you pant. rafe hums in acceptance.
"gotta learn how to fucking communicate, baby," rafe mumbles tiredly. you nod against him. rafe settles his weight against you, and it feels so good. so comforting. his cock is still buried comfortably inside you as the two of you drift off.
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songmingisthighs · 12 days
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Baby Baby
group : ateez
pairing : alpha!san × human mate!reader
genre : smut
wc : 3.4 k
warning : mature, mdni, explicit smut; restraints, cumming untouched, rut, breeding kink (breeding need more like), lactation kink, slight cum play and cum eating, both san and mc are being degenerate pain slut mayhaps ?, unprotected sex, alpha sex, rut sex, knotting, degradation ??, don't read if you don't like or can't stand this genre
a/n : this fic is brought to you by @kitten4sannie GOADING me. I wholeheartedly blame you alyssa. whatever happens after this, blame alyssa
buy me coffee ?
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You came rushing to the pack house with your baby tucked in her little blanket, sleeping so soundly like an angel which was an utter contrast to the situation that you were facing. You had been rushing so much that you changed into a flimsy shirt and a long boho-esque skirt. You were barely at the front door and yet you could hear the sound of your husband's screams, filling the silence in the air, and making the whole area seem haunted.
Upon entry, you were greeted by Seonghwa who immediately took your little princess in his arms and Yeosang who welcomed you. "How bad is it?" you asked, taking your coat before handing it over along with your bag to Yeosang. Hongjoong came rounding from the kitchen upon hearing you and from the look on his face, you knew this was a bad one. "(y/n), are you sure you want to handle him?" Hongjoong asked, worriedly looking between you and your sleeping daughter, whose fluffy wolf ears twitched at the sound of the commotion but remained in her slumber. You simply shrugged, "He's my husband, this is nothing I haven't experienced before," you said as you tried to push past Hongjoong to go to the basement. Before you could go past him, he held you back and made you look at him, "This is unlike his previous ruts, (y/n). He's... He's going over the rails and it's triggered by you giving birth," he explained. You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion, "But I gave birth like a long time ago. For fuck's sake, we're close to Hyemi's first birthday." With arms raised, Hongjoong could only shrug, "All I know is that the doctor told us that this is like an anti-postpartum depression. He's more aggressive, more needy, and frankly his sexual stamina is beyond anything I've ever seen and he was already a nutjob in that department."
Hearing Hongjoong's explanation made your heartbeat increase both from worry but also from... excitement? You knew what San is capable of and you knew the others knew as well. So for Hongjoong to be so concerned, you could only imagine what the extent of San's state is like.
After kissing your daughter on the forehead and allowing Seonghwa to take her over to the hunting cabin so she would be away from all the noise, you marched down to the basement only to see a sight that made you gasp.
Under the moonlight and a single lightbulb near the door, San, your dear husband, was shirtless and his limbs were restrained by metal chains that ran from the corners of one side of the wall. You wanted to ask why he was put in such a state but when you closed the door, you had seen how the small window that allows people to peek in was shattered on the ground and the handle on the door was bent, flattened even. You couldn't explain why that made you wet and you felt like you couldn't fixate on that considering the situation. But the sight of the shambled surrounding was not as surprising as seeing San staring, or glaring, at you, straining against the chains so hard that his veins were popping.
"Honey, I knew that was you. I could smell you from the moment you stepped out of the car," San shuddered, eyes glazing and his fists clenching, "Have you come for me, pretty? You came for your alpha didn't you?" he chuckled darkly. You swallowed nervously but San knew that you were aroused seeing him with his shirtless, glistening chest and very very tight jeans, especially with a VERY distracting protrusion in the dark patch in his crotch. No matter how much you had been with San, the sight of him half naked and so animalistic always made you blush. "Honey, I'm so thirsty," San whimpered and as if it was an automatic trigger, you abandoned your position and rushed to San, cupping his face gently only to gasp at how feverish he felt, "Oh sweetie, you're burning up! I'll go get you some water." You were about to detach away from him but he growled and dropped his head on your shoulder, making you stand still in your spot. "I am thirsty but not for that, my love. I'm thirsty for you."
Slowly, you felt San's head turn and he let out a shaky exhale that made tingles ran down your spine. Your eyes fluttered close when San's tongue joined in to lick your skin around your neck almost strategically pressing into your weak points which made your knees buckled and since San didn't have his freedom, you had to cling onto his body. The proximity made San smirk against your skin because now he was able to grind into your core, allowing you to feel how wet and hard he had become. "F-fuck, Sannie-" "Can you feel that? Can you feel how hard I am? I've been waiting for you mama and I can't take it anymore. Do you know how many times I've cum in my pants? Do you know how many times my cum has been wasted? I could've been breeding you over and over, make you a mommy again because fuck, we did such a great job with the first one," San panted heavily into your ear as he winced from pain and need, "Love, I need to put another baby in you, I want to put a baby in you."
Your mind was in such a hazy state because his body's warmth was luring you in like a faux safety net but the way he was humping your leg with his cock that seemed to be engorged due to both arousal and his heat. "Sannie, baby, y-your cock-" "It's asking for you, mama. It wants you. Please, please, please, let it bury itself inside your sweet sweet cunt and breed it with another pup. It's been so long and it hurts, it hurts so good," His words were like melted butter in your ears, absolutely making you weak and you were sure that your panties were effectively ruined with your slick but also from the way San was rubbing his jeans-clad crotch onto you. You couldn't deny the increasing need- no, want for him. It HAD been some time since you got intimate all thanks to your baby girl. You and he had been so focused on taking care of her and letting your body heal that the most you two have done was letting San suck on your tits while dry-humping you. So you two were stuck in a hard situation. Literally.
In your state of utter oblivion, you somehow managed to refocus yourself enough to look at the way San was straining. He had been whispering pleas and sweet nothings, buttering you up to let him relieve his rut on you, you missed the way he was straining so hard that you swore he was so close to breaking the restraints like they were made of popsicle sticks.
"Poor baby," San's mouth stopped its work on your skin the moment you replied coherently, "You've been waiting for me for so long, haven't you? Settling for minuscule action while I got better, you took such good care of me... Alpha." You had to suppress a moan when you felt San's cock twitch as his hip ground harder into your crotch, accidentally stimulating your clit against the barrier. "Yes, yes, yes, baby, I will take such good care of you. You saw how much of a great husband I could be with our first, imagine me with our second. So please, please let me out of this misery and let me fuck another baby into you."
Cursing, you pushed away from San slightly and took off your shirt before dropping down to kneel in front of his crotch. San watched you with keen eyes as your hands deftly moved to release him from his confines. The moment his cock was freed, you saw it bob before it stood straight up, slapping him right on his stomach, his residual cum smearing and splattering from the impact, some even landed on your cheek but you couldn't care. How could you care when your husband's cock was staring at you almost tauntingly? You swore his cock was larger than you remembered. The tip, a shade of angry red, and his balls seemed full of cum.
"Fuck, alpha, you're going to break me," you breathed.
Though unintentional, your breath hit his stiff cock and before you could react, San came untouched. Spurts of his cum hit you on your face making you gasp in surprise. "Fuck!" San grunted as he rode off his high, allowing his balls to empty out yet again. The amount of cum that San let out was astonishing as it seem almost endless. It made you imagine San shooting that much cum when he finished inside you. Just from the looks of it, you knew that that climax you and San will soon share would be sloppy and messy and you can't wait. Your cunt clenching with anticipation.
"Fuck, baby, why did you have to tease me like that, you slut? You just had to goad your alpha knowing that he's in restraints, huh? You really think you could take advantage of the situation I'm in huh?" San growled, snapping his hips forward so that his cock slapped you in the mouth, smearing his fresh cum around as if to mark and humiliate you. "Sorry alpha, I didn't mean to. I was just so... Amazed with your cock, I just wanna..." You trailed off as your lips slowly enveloped the hard appendage. The moment your wam mouth made contact with San's cock, he immediately almost lost control. Your tongue was caressing his cock all around so good that his hips started moving, grounding itself against your mouth as if it was addicted to you just as much as you were addicted to tasting San again. It was hard, and it wasn't just the stiffness of the cock, but his engorged size trying to stuff itself inside your mouth was almost too much. Your jaw was hurting but the pain was too delicious, you were struggling but you wanted more of it, you wanted it wholly and you wanted it so bad. San's hips made it hard for you to lick the cum clean from his dick but you made do with what you can. "Look at my mate. My pretty, pretty mate, so fucking beautiful and so fucking needy for her alpha," San's tongue darted out to lick his chapped bottom lip and as he did, he could almost taste you in the air, "And look at you being so needy," he chuckled darkly, seeing the way your hips sway back and forth and then around as if to look for friction for your very empty cunt. "Can't wait to fill you up, baby. Can't wait to pound that sweet pussy once again," he moaned.
Hearing him so needy for you, you couldn't help but let out a whimper and immediately scrambled up. "You want to fill me up, alpha? I'll give you what you want," you grabbed the edges of your skirt and hiked it up so you could easily took your panties off and fling it across the room. With his senses heightened, the smell of your free cunt made San's eyes roll to the back of his head and his hips gyrate in your direction. "Come on, come on, come on mama, stop torturing me and let me fuck you so good and so deep, your tummy would bulge out. I'm gonna make sure you'll get good and pregnant"
You couldn't even get properly and wholly naked as you were just that desperate and needy for San. So with one edge of your skirt still hiked, you hooked your left leg around his strong right thigh and your right hand reached under to slip his tip right at your entrance. "I'm ready alpha, I'm ready for you to take me and fill me up," you panted, pressing your forehead against his while you prepared yourself mentally to take his cock inside you. San rolled his hip once and his bulbous tip slipped inside you so easily thanks to your arousal, his residual cum, and your spit, mixing together creating the perfect lubricant. "Oh fuck," you whimpered, your arms circling around San's neck so tightly, catching him in a vice grip, "You're s-so big, t-too big!" you gasped the more it slipped inside you.
San was faring no better. Having gone through the first night of his rut by himself and flooding his mind with the thought and memories of your cunt, he was going through 10 emotions all at once because he finally got to feel the real deal. Being chest-to-chest with San allowed you to feel his heart beating so hard and quick you were afraid that it would break out of his ribcage. However, your worry about him breaking something was misplaced because while you were trying to slowly get yourself ready to take him whole inch by inch, San's patience snapped. His wolf was crying out to breed you and he deemed that he needed more and he needed it right then and there.
"San! Oh my- Fuck!!" You screeched when San bottomed out inside you with one smooth move. Your arms held onto him tighter while his thighs trembled, the pleasure was overwhelming him, almost sending his head to an empty state. "Baby, my love, my mate, thank you for giving your body to me."
You weren't even accustomed to him just yet but he had started fucking you with such fervor that it took everything in you to keep your mental faculties intact and held onto him for dear life. For the life of you, you couldn't even begin to think about how San managed to fuck you even with his limbs restrained but even such thought easily slipped from your mind as all other coherent mental processes were getting fucked out of you. "A-alpha please!" you weren't sure what you were pleading for because while it hurt, the pain was too pleasurable and you truly believed that you would have gone insane had he pulled back. Not that you think he could. When you pulled away slightly, you saw the way San was staring at you with dilated pupils, his eyes even seemingly turned into a shade of gold though you were not so sure due to the dimness of the room and your body being shaken up and down like a shaker. You could feel it, you could feel his cock deep inside you. The movement allowed him to go deeper and deeper, and you were sure that his tip was coaxing your cervix to open ever so slowly as evidenced by the dull probing feeling in your lower belly area. Even the thought of his cock prying you open to accommodate his agenda made your head feel like it was swimming.
Pleasure coursed through your body almost to the maximum extent within minutes but you held on, you wanted to hold on for your husband. "Fuck, I miss this," San growled, chuckling darkly, "How did I manage to not fuck you every night? It was wrong of me to let you experience even one day without being my little cumdump, my fleshlight, my most precious little doll toy." The way he reduced you to nothing but a plaything made your cunt clench, causing San's movement to halt and his breath hitch. "Honey, don't do that, I might cum too soon," he said through gritted teeth. You moaned and dropped your head back, exposing your neck to your husband, "And is that such a bad thing, love? Come on, cum in me, you promised to fill me up so full, right?"
The encouragement effectively pushed San's inner wolf to completely take over because the next thing you know, San ripped the right cup of your bra off, exposing your breast and your perked nipple before latching his mouth on it and he resumed his fucking. Not many words were exchanged between the two of you, all sorts of communication was in the form of moans, groans, and grunts. Especially you, who was up on cloud 9 from both penetrating and sucking stimulation. San was fucking you stupid while his mouth was feasting on your breastmilk. You took a peek down to see white dribbling down San's chin a bit too calmly while his hips never stopped their work on your cunt. The intensity of the pleasure sent you reeling and you could feel you were teetering on the edge of a climax. Your limbs contorted around San even tighter so much so that you were practically floating, two bodies being supported by one and at this moment you were very much glad that San's animalistic side had taken over perhaps completely.
"F-fuck, San! Sannie! Alpha! I-I-" You wanted to tell him that you were cumming but the words were stuck in your throat. San, too preoccupied with the taste of you on his tongue, didn't bother answering but he simply bit down on your breast. The sharp pain caused you to let your control slip and then and there you came undone. Your body shook as you climaxed, your jaw unhinged and you let out a loud cry while your cunt unknowingly let out spurts of clear liquid.
San always loved it when you climaxed because your scent became more powerful and your body writhed about that sent his animalistic side into a frenzy as it paralleled his high when he caught a prey; so pliant, so submissive, so... helpless. Your orgasm served to only goad San even more as he never stopped his movement, never even faltering for a single beat. "Yes, we're so close, baby, so close," San smirked after gulping down your milk. His sharp canine dragged on your sternum in a menacing way that made it even hotter for some reason. You were already so spent and to be frank, the constant friction was becoming almost too much. Your legs were starting to cramp and your arms were slowly going numb. As glad as you were for cumming, knew you couldn't handle another one so soon, especially when you felt his knot forming.
"Alpha, alpha! Cum in me p-please! I- I can't take it anymore!" you whined, gripping him so hard that his back bore the red streaks of your nails that dug into his skin. "Yes, mama, yes. I'll cum in you, I'm cumming in you, fuck! I'm gonna get you nice and pregnant!" San announced loudly before his hips stuttered once more and his mouth latched back onto your breast. Along with his teeth digging into your soft flesh, you felt warm liquid being spurted out directly into your womb, filling you rather quickly and your mind floated back to the amount of cum San had let out not even too long ago. San's cum and knot were filling you up so stupidly good that you didn't even have any more energy to scream so you simply dropped your head onto his shoulder. Your senses were filled with San experiencing his true release after holding back for so long.
San happily sucked more of your milk, ensuring that your breast would be drained and very darkly marked, while he happily let his knot rest inside you.
Although you were still being stimulated, your body was slowly calming down and it was then did your muscles felt the after effect. Soreness started to settle in your joints and parts of your limbs but your husband's warmth was making things up for you, like a very large heating pad.
"Alpha, I'm so full," you croaked, closing your eyes when you felt San also calming down even if it was temporary. "You were so good, my mate. I'm so proud of my little mama being able to take all of that," he praised, letting his lips trail kisses from your chest, up your neck, to your cheeks, and settle to nibble on your earlobe. "But you know that this night had just begun."
Your eyes snapped open when you heard loud clanking sounds and you immediately took notice of the way the chains that were holding San's limbs were so easily broken and in a flash, you were put on the floor with San hovering over you.
"How about we try for twins this time?"
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cockaiine · 5 months
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‘say my name, boy’ - ft. jjk men
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saying ‘ i love you ’ after sex w satoru, kento, n suguru!
ɞ⁺ contains : suguru , satoru, kento x fem!reader (seperate), fluff, slightly suggestive, nuditiy, making out, mentions of sex (obv), not proof-read.
ɞ⁺ w.c : total of 1.4k
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SATORU GOJO .ᐟ
Long arms coat you, his skin practically glowing under the soft moonlight. Satoru’s eyes remain shut as he breathes contentedly. Every time you think your boyfriend can’t look any better, he proves you wrong.
You lean to kiss his cheek, bringing a soft smile to his face. Thick, snowy eyelashes remain obstinate, keeping his eyes shut and not looking at you. 
“Are you okay, babe?” Satoru asks after a few moments, breaking the unnerving silence. 
“Hm..? Yeah?” His question confused you.
“You never silent after sex,” His eyes open, leaving you staring into cerulean spherules. “What’s come over my talkative girl? Something on your mind?” His arms tighten over you, pressing you skin-to-skin. 
You giggle once brought close as if it’s the first time he does that. As if you weren’t just having sex with the man. His smile grows at your giggle.
“Not really, I’m okay,” You reassure, but Satoru is less than convinced. You’re always talking about something after going at it. It’s an endearing habit of yours that he’s gotten used to, now finding comfort in. 
“Baby,” he begins in mock sternness, “don’t play with me.”
“I’m not playing, ‘toru,” the syllables come out dragged, “don’t have anything to say, that’s all.”
His expression grows smug, “awh? Was I so good you can’t even speak? How cute.” You roll your eyes at his teasing. 
“You’re so obnoxious, ‘toru,” it’s his turn to roll his eyes. 
A few seconds go by—it’s so easy to lose track of the world around him when you look this angelic. An involuntary smirk fights its way onto his face. “God, you’re so in love with me. Can’t blame you, I’m so perfect.” 
“Oh, shut up, will you?” you chuckle, forehead pressing against his own. “You’re delusional.”
“Please,” he scoffs, responding with sass. “Allow me to prove my point.”
His lips come towards you at an agonizingly slow pace. It’s as if he’s torturing you on purpose, which he probably is. His lips close upon yours softly.
His kiss is electricity, it’s fireworks, it’s a bomb. You’ve been with Satoru for so long, yet his kisses never cease to leave you in a state of bliss.
“‘Love ya, baby,” He says with a soft smile.
“Huh?” You quirk a brow, fighting back a giggle. 
“What?” He’s confused. What did he do wrong this time?
“Say it right, Satoru,” you demand, landing playful taps on his face. “Who loves me?”
“Oh— I love you,” he nods, “Satoru Gojo loves you, my charming, beautiful, gorgeous woman.”
“That’s more like it,” you grow giddy. “ I love you too,” your words come out whispered, moving to press another kiss to his lips.
KENTO NANAMI .ᐟ
“Are you okay, my love?” kento whispers to you, fingers holding your face by the chin and forcing your face to look over at him. 
You hum, fixing your body to fit into his arms. Resting your head over his chest. kento chuckles; you’re not this clingy. But there’s some sense of serenity that washes over you every time he ‘makes love’ to you. It makes you quite lovely, in his eyes at least, more than your regular self. kento would never admit how he wishes you cling to him on a regular basis.
His lips land on the top of your head softly, pressing a soft kiss there. He keeps his head in your hair, smelling your aroma. Sure, you’re sticky with sweat and other… bodily fluids. But that doesn’t make him like you any less.
“Wanna take a bath?” He whispers into your hair, warm breath fanning over your scalp. 
“No…” You manage, voice barely audible. Your words vibrate through his very being. One finger mindlessly traces soft circles on his chest, making him feel slightly ticklish. He doesn’t move, though. “Can we keep it to the morning?”
“You sure?” He mutters with a chuckle. You’ve done this before. kento knows you hate morning showers, but you also hate the feeling of water on your body after sex. And every time you have a morning shower, you end up wishing you had it the night before. “Not gonna change your mind in the morning?”
“Promise,” you lie, knowing full well you are going to regret making this choice. “‘M too tired to move.”
“Okay,” the blonde man nods. He allows you to make this choice. After all, he’d hate to leave your arms, too.
“Kento..” you call after a few moments of peaceful silence. He hums attentively, sensing a question coming his way. “Can you say it?”
“Say what?” He looks down at you. Your head moves, craning your neck so your eyes can meet his own. He stares at you with love, love you thought he was incapable of feeling a few years back. 
The way you look at him is enough answer. He knows what you mean, and it’s almost amusing. It’s adorable how you seek his affection so… bluntly.
“I love you, sweetheart,” he whispers, his tone low and sensual. “You already know that.”
Using your elbows for support, you help yourself to lean up to him, pecking his lips softly. “I love you too, Kento. So, very much.”
“I know,” He smiles, eyes fluttering between your eyes and your lips. 
SUGURU GETO .ᐟ
“Suguuuuu’” you whine when your black-haired lover moves out of your grasp, about to stand up. “Come backkkk”
Suguru chuckles—it’s a hoarse sound, yet the amusement in it is unmistakable. He’s still somewhat out of breath. He doesn’t comply, though. “What’s wrong? Can’t let go of me for a whole minute?”
“You’re mean,” you huff, sitting up straight. The blanket that covered you slips down and lands over your hip. Suguru’s eyes trail down against his well. He can’t help it, you look so divine, the dim light illuminating your body in all the right ways. 
“I’m mean for wanting to get dressed?” He raises a brow, scanning the room for the discarded pants. Your teeth tug at your lower lip at his physique. You’re not sure how you landed a shot with this gorgeous man, but you’re more than grateful. You avert your gaze, though, not hoping to jinx your luck. “Crybaby.”
A string of complaints leaves your lips, none audible enough for him to make out. You turn your back to him, pulling the covers up your body. Suguru rolls his eyes as he pulls his pants back on.
“You’re so sensitive,” The mattress dips under his weight, the blanket moving over your bare skin when he gets under it.
Warm digits trace your waist, careful as if you would break under any form of pressure. Goosebumps ripple across your skin, spreading like wildfire at the sensation of his warm breath near your ear. 
He presses a soft kiss to your shoulder, bringing you closer to him by the waist. His fingers rub your belly lovingly. “So soft… so warm.”
Your heart throbs at his whispered words, feeling your thighs tighten slightly. He has such a way with words. You’re well past spent, but he still finds a way to turn you on again. You hum under him, leaning into his warmth.
“Stop teasing, Sugu’, you–” You begin, turning your face to meet him. The look in his eyes makes you stop. His face is living proof there’s a god—there’s not a hint of doubt in you that his face was sculpted by the hands of an angel. 
“Hmm? What were you saying?” He smirks, not moving an inch.
You shake your head. “Nothing,” You snap out of it, looking away. 
“Uh-huh?” A lopsided smirk pulls at the corner of his lips. “Is that really?”
“Yeah,” You insist, turning around in his arms. “Just kiss me already.”
“With pleasure, pretty,” his voice is a tune you never bore of. He leans down towards your face, eyes set on your slightly parted lips. Warmth closes upon your mouth. 
His every move is passionate, prudence long gone. His fingers roam your skin freely, tracing a map he’s long since memorized. His tongue leaps at your mouth, dancing with your muscle. The room is empty but for the lewd sounds of mouths clasping against each other and your low hums.
“S’soft f’me,” he pulls away, remaining close. A string of saliva connects your mouths. You’re a sight to see, all flushed up and breathless while he seems unfazed. “I love you, doll. Y’know that?”
You take a moment to gather yourself before responding with a soft, “’love you too, Sugu’.”
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oukabarsburgblr · 5 months
Text
drabble...
FEATURING: AITO SOUSUKE (OC), DAISUKE YUICHI (OC) x male reader
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"Why the fuck did you come along if you knew you were gonna get scared?"
Sousuke hissed, jabbing his finger into Daisuke's chest who swatted his hand away. "I can go wherever I want? Your house is the furthest from all of us, why the hell would you stay back so late?" The pair were arguing, the moonlight shining through the windows of the dark hallways.
(m/n) and Haru only groaned, as they walked in front of the two. It was already night and they had came back to the academic buildings of the high school they attended. The (h/c) had misplaced his phone in his other bookbag which was in his class, he dragged Haru, his childhood best friend, to accompany him to retrieve it and Sousuke heard and tagged along but Daisuke wasn't going to leave (m/n) and Sousuke alone in a scenario where romantic moments can occur.
Although it would be challenging for the ravenette.
Haru swiped his long blonde bangs back, his bleached eyebrows furrowing in annoyance. "They're so loud. We're going to get caught by the security guards..." He complained and (m/n) whined as he shook his best friend's arm. "We're almost there. Don't leave me with these two idiots."
"How did you even forgot your phone out of all things?" "I don't play my phone all the time. Unlike you-" (m/n) heaved as his chest was smacked by Haru, catching Sousuke's attention.
"Hey! Don't touch him!" Sousuke scowled at Haru who rolled his eyes at him. Daisuke was fussing over the groaning (h/c). This was the norm for the group of third years, doing stupid shit but tonight was a highlight since they were alone during scary hours in an empty school.
Daisuke clinged to (m/n), scared out of his wits as he buried his face into the latter's shoulder, effectively dragging him in their step. "Why is your class so far away?" His hand was trembling lightly as the (h/c) rubbed his arm for comfort but the ravenette was too heavy for him.
"Sousuke, hold him." He pushed the ravenette into the redhead's hold, Daisuke gasping in betrayal as he scrunched his nose at Sousuke. "How could you??" He creened in disgust as he shoved himself away from Sousuke. (m/n) entered his class, pulling Haru as well leaving the pair to stand in the dark halls. The redhead glaring at Daisuke.
"You're a pussy, Daisuke." "Fuck you?? WHAT THE HELL-" He screeched as he instinctively jumped up and grabbed onto Sousuke, the redhead unintentionally holding him as he staggered in surprise. Daisuke had seen something flew past him and under the light it was a huge ass moth.
It wasn't really any better as he screamed while squirming in Sousuke's arms, the latter yelling at him to quiet down, opting to just drop him. Haru and (m/n) exited the class, the latter with his phone in his hand and gazed at the two unimpressed.
"Are you two dating or something..." Haru muttered as he rolled his eyes, leaving the group and (m/n) followed suit, his eyebrows scrunched and his lips frowning and pouting.
"Wait! It's not what it looks like!" Sousuke dropped the ravenette onto the floor and ran after (m/n), blabbering that he had nothing to do with the ravenette. Daisuke cussed and chased after them, not wanting to be left behind and prompted to hit Sousuke in the head resulting in more arguments as they exited the building.
They did get caught by the security guard. (m/n) was not impressed with Daisuke and Sousuke. Haru doesn't want to be friends with them anymore. Sousuke just kept blaming Daisuke and the latter kept talking about a moth??
[END SCENE]
Afterthoughts:
I feel better now. Friend group with daisuke (ravenette), Sousuke (redhead), Onaga Haru (blonde) and (m/n).
Their main story will be set in highschool. I got inspired seeing Kubz Scouts recent video haha
452 notes · View notes
wintfleur · 1 year
Text
ꔫ clingy lover and sunrises
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°. — pairings ( lando norris x fem! reader )
°. — summary ( what’s better than watching the sunrise with your pretty boyfriend? )
°. — details ( g; fluff. w; kissing. wc; 3k )
˖ ་ 💭 roro’s notes ( this is totally based off this tiktok, I watched it and fell even more in love with lando, didn’t even know that was possible. I’m not fully happy with the ending, i feel like it’s rushed. But I do hope you enjoy it! Cant wait to write more of lando, I have a longer lando fic in the works! I think soon I’ll open my requests )
 You were lying in bed waiting for your boyfriend to get out of the shower and join you in bed, when you saw the TikTok. You were a resident and happily lived on LandoTok or whatever it was called. You loved watching all the edits of your boyfriend the fans would tag you in, the captions were always so creative. It was also hilarious seeing all the replies you would get when you would comment on them, sometimes you would even tag Lando, that's when it really got fun. 
You were doing your daily Tik Tok scroll checking all the edits you were tagged in, liking and commenting on a few that were of you and Lando. You stopped on a TikTok, a smile forming on your sleepy face when you hear his voice. You weren't familiar with the video they were clipping, listening to him say that he sleeps in more and doesn't see the sunset much, makes your eyes widen with an idea. What your boyfriend said was true, he really did sleep in a lot. Wouldn't it be romantic to watch the sunrise with him? You think with a smile. 
You click onto the comments and your smile widens when you see all the comments, most of them being about how good he looks, he did really look good. You giggle when you see a comment saying “I mean can you blame him for being tired, I would be too if y/n was my gf ;)” oh god you loved Lando’s fans. 
“What are you giggling about?” Your boyfriend's teasing tone brought you out of your trance of looking through the comments. You hear the satisfying click of you turning off your phone and you look up just in time to see your boyfriend walking out of the bathroom and jumping into the bed and laying on his stomach next to you. You set your phone on the bedside table and bring your hand to play with his newly blow-dried hair. Lando lets out a hum of appreciation at your touch. 
“Your fans are pretty funny” you whisper as you move to lay on your side, facing him. Lando opens his eyes and breaks out into a smile when the two of you lock eyes. He also moves to lay on his side, he brings one of his hands up to grab yours that was still playing with his hair. You watch as he brings your hand to his lips, placing a soft kiss on your palm before he brings it under his chin, snuggling it. 
“Will you tell me about it tomorrow? I can't keep my eyes open” Lando's sleepy voice makes you want to squeeze him, he's just so adorable. You move your hand that Lando isn't clinging to and move some of his hair from his face. Your eyes looking over your boyfriend's face, watching as his eyes flutter close and his face snuggle closer to his pillow. 
“Yeah, I'll tell you all about it” you tell him with a smile, your mind thinking about your idea for tomorrow. You make a move to sit up, but you halt your movement when you feel Lando pull you back, you look to see him giving you a frown. “Where are you going?” 
“I'm just going to turn off the light” You giggle quietly, sleepy Lando was absolutely adorable. Lando lets out a huff before letting go of you, you get out of bed and walk over to the wall and turn off the light switch, quickly rushing back into bed and getting under the sheets. Turning your head to face Lando when he lets out a chuckle. 
“It's so cute how you still get scared that a monster is going to grab your feet from under the bed” Lando laughs as he scoots closer to you and wraps his arm around your midsection, resting his head next to yours. You look at him, the moonlight peeking through the curtains illuminated his face just enough for you to see him, he was so beautiful. You softly nudge him with your hip before saying “So do you.” 
“Goodnight baby” Lando mumbles and snuggles closer to you after he lets out a tired chuckle from your words, he was so close that you could feel his breath on your neck. You let out a hum and close your eyes, the sound of his soft breaths lulling you to sleep. “Goodnight Lan” 
You were used to waking up early, so you had no problem waking up at 6 am, 25 minutes before the sunrise. Thinking about your plan last night you thought it would be super easy to do, completely forgetting one thing. Your clingy boyfriend. When you woke up the first thing you noticed was the soft breaths of your boyfriend on your neck and the tight grip he had on your waist, your legs intertwined. If you weren't so determined to have a sweet morning with Lando, you would have closed your eyes and went back to sleep, enjoying your boyfriend's touch. 
So, you ignored the voice in your head telling you to stay in bed in Lando's arms, and you carefully and slowly detach yourself from him and get out of bed. You have to stop yourself from leaning down and softly peppering your boyfriend's face in kisses when you see the sleepy pout on his lips. You grab your phone off the bedside table before quietly walking out of your room, surprised that you didn't wake him up. 
You quietly hum to a tune that has been stuck in your head as you walk through your apartment. You turn on the light switch to the kitchen before setting your phone on the counter and walking over to the pantry to pull out some ingredients. You moved across your kitchen quietly, being careful not to make too much sound and wake up Lando, and before you knew it you had two hot mugs in your hands. One hot chocolate for you, and one hot tea for Lando. 
Your sock covered feet softly padded against the hallway of your apartment as you walked slowly, careful not to spill any of the drinks and careful not to drop your phone that was squeezed between your armpit. When you walk into your room your eyes immediately go to your bed, where you see Lando holding onto your pillow, his legs all sprawled out and still asleep. You carefully set the two mugs on your bedside table, along with your phone before sitting at the side of your bed, facing your sleeping boyfriend. 
“Lando love, it's time to wake up” You spoke sweetly as you brought your hand up to his hair, softly playing with his curls, being careful not to get your fingers stuck in his messy hair. You only get a reaction from him a few moments later when he lets out a tired groan and nuzzles his face into your pillow, a muffled no passing through his lips. You can't help but giggle at his cuteness. 
“Lando please, i want to show you something” You continue to play with his hair, your thumb softly caressing his cheekbone, luring him out of his sleepy state. Lando lets out another tired groan as he rolls onto his back, his right hand moving from under the pillow to rest on your bare thigh. You watch as he flutters his eyes open, blinking a few times to get the tired out of his eyes. 
Lando yawns before looking up at you with a small smirk, his morning voice deep “Say please again.” 
“Please get up my love” you sweet talk with a smile, leaning down and peppering his cheek and jaw in soft doting kisses. Lando smiles and closes his eyes, a tired chuckle escaping his lips at the feeling of your lips on his face. He moves his hand that was at his side and his hand that was on your thigh and wraps them around your waist. Pulling you down against him. You let out a surprised giggle at the sudden pull. Your face flush against his neck. 
“Only because you asked so nicely” Lando whispers as he kisses the crown of your head, one of his hands moving up to play with your hair. You knew you had to get up, and you knew the longer you snuggled with Lando; the harder it would be to get him up. But his arms were so comfy, he was so warm and smelt nice, you nuzzled your face into his neck for a few moments, closing your eyes and just relishing in the feeling of being so close to your lover. But the smell of your hot chocolate reminds you of your mission, you place a soft kiss on his neck before sitting up, trying to detach yourself from your clingy boyfriend. 
“No, it's too early, come back to bed” your sleepy boyfriend whined as he watched you get off the bed and walk over to the balcony you had in your room, pulling back the long white curtains and unlocking the balcony doors before opening them. The cool breeze of the early air nips at your bare legs and sends a chill down your spine. The smell of the ocean hits your nose, and the sound of the waves fill your room. 
Lando lays on his side and sits up on his elbow, his eyes not leaving yours. The moonlight was still shining, and you looked absolutely beautiful under it. So beautiful that he just wanted to grab you by the waist and pull you back to bed, showing you how much he loves you. But he noticed the determined look in your eyes and was thoroughly curious on why you woke him up so early and why you're so happy, so he stopped himself from doing so. 
You feel Lando's stare on your back, your lower, lower back. You roll your eyes with a smile before turning to face him, you watch as his eyes shoot up to your face, an innocent smile appearing on his lips once he realizes he was caught staring at your ass. You walked over to your bed and sat on the edge, crossing your legs. Lando sat up and leaned back against the headboard when he watched you pick up his favorite mug and hold it out for him. 
“So, are you going to tell me why we're up so early?” Lando asked you with a sweet smile after he took a small sip of the tea. Your mug of hot chocolate warmed your hands and soothed your body as you swallowed it. The cold breeze chills your room faster than you expected. Lando notices goosebumps on your bare legs and uses the hand that wasn't holding his mug, to cover your legs with the blanket. 
“I saw this tik Tok about you last night” You start as you set your mug back on the side table, licking your lips. Lando raises his eyebrow as he takes another sip of his tea, curious on where this was going to go. There was no way he could guess what the tik Tok would be about. 
“You were saying how you sleep in more so you don’t get to watch the sunrise, so I thought that maybe we could watch the sunrise together” You finally confessed your plan, your hands playing with the blanket covering your lower half. It was silent for a few moments, besides the distant sound of the ocean and you watched as a big smile spread on your boyfriend's lips, him setting down his mug too. 
“Fuck you’re so cute” Lando cooed as he stopped leaning against the headboard, sitting up so he could be closer to you. He took your hands that were playing with the blanket and intertwined his fingers with yours, his eyes not leaving yours. You could see a faint blush forming on his face, but Lando couldn't help it. He loved when you planned cute things like this, it made him feel so loved.
 Lando leaned closer to you and softly pecked your lips quickly before saying “I would love to watch the sunrise with you baby.” 
You smiled widely and leaned closer to him, unlacing one of your hands with his and cupping his cheek. Softly caressing his cheek with your thumb before you close your eyes and sealing your lips in a kiss. Lando eagerly kissed you back, his hand that was holding yours moves to hold onto your waist, pulling you closer to him. You took charge of the kiss, finding yourself getting lost in the taste of your boyfriend's lips. 
It took everything in him to pull away from the kiss, breathing heavy against your lips as he whispered, “If you keep kissing me like that, we’re going to miss the sunrise.” 
The bashful smile you give him in response makes him giggle and softly kiss the tip of your nose before saying “c'mon, let's get comfy.” 
After another cold chill came through the open balcony doors, the two of you decided that it would be better to stay in bed and watch, instead of sitting on your balcony. After a few minutes of trying to find the best position and many giggles, you finally found the perfect position. 
“This is nice” Lando spoke quietly as he glanced down at you, before looking back at the changing color sky, the orange slowly peeking through. Lando sat in the middle of the bed while you sat between his legs, leaning your head back against his chest and cuddling one of his arms to your chest. His other arm at his side, his hand absentmindedly caressing the skin of your side, under your (his) shirt. 
“What, being behind me?” You responded in a playful tone. 
“My favorite place to be,” Lando says in a flirty tone, leaving a wet kiss on the side of your forehead. You smile and tilt your head to look up at him, the sunrise rises, and an orange glow appears on his face. He was so pretty; you could stare at him forever. Lando felt your stare and looked down at you, a shy smile appearing when he saw how you looked at him. With so much love. 
“You're supposed to be watching the sunrise, not me baby” Lando teases you playfully, nudging you softly with his leg. He was silently praying that you couldn't feel or hear how fast his heart was beating, it wasn't fair how flustered you could make him. 
“I can't help that I have such a pretty boyfriend,” you replied, copying Lando’s flirty tone from earlier. You could feel his beating heartbeat against your chest, the rhythmic beat was comforting. Your fingers were absentmindedly tracing random patterns on his arm, your focus was on the changing color sky. It was so peaceful; the smell and the sound of the ocean was soothing. And the warmth of being held by Lando made it even better. 
Lando didn't reply, his eyes were on the sky and the ocean. It was a beautiful sight, a sight he definitely would want to see again, preferably with you in his arms again. He didn't think that he would find watching the sunrise so enjoyable, but he was pretty sure the reason why was his pretty girlfriend that was in his arms, and the fact that you planned this. 
“We should do this again” Lando whispered, his hand on your hip rising to caress the skin of your stomach, smirking to himself when he felt the goosebumps appear on your skin from his touch. He loved how reactive you were to his touch, but to be fair he was the same way with your touch. 
“Tomorrow?” You ask him, tilting your head to look up at him, a teasing smile on your lips. You already knew his answer, your boyfriend loved his sleep. And seeing by the way he nervously giggles and bites his lips; you knew you were right. 
“Uhh, maybe the day after?” 
“Okay, the day after” you say between your own laughter, tilting your body a little so you could face him more. Lando’s hold on your midsection tightens and he pulls you closer to his chest. Lando’s attention on the sky quickly changes when he sees the smile on your face, you look so happy. He couldn't look away, he watched as you rested your head on his chest, you were still staring at the now ending sunrise, the light from the sun creating an orange glow on your face. He smiled when he noticed you playing with his bracelets, a habit that you had picked up on the few years you have been together. 
“I love you” Lando whispers in your ear, his tone full of love. You look away from the now blue sky to your boyfriend, locking eyes with the most beautiful eyes you've ever seen. You smile and let go of his wrist, bringing your hand up to cup his cheek. Lando can see the look in your eyes, so he leans down and captures your lips in a soft kiss, you pour all of your love into that kiss, wanting him to feel it all.
 Lando hesitantly pulls away, resting his forehead on yours as you both try to catch your breath from the kiss. You open your eyes and look up at him, your thumb gently touching his bottom lip causes him to open his eyes and look down at you. 
“I love you more” You whisper back, a smile on your lips. Lando breaks out into a smile and wraps both of his arms around your waist and laying back, causing you to lay on top of him. A surprised yelp escapes past your parted lips at the fast movement and Lando can't stop the laughter from spilling from his, when he hears the cute sound. You hide your face in his chest in embarrassment, but when you hear Lando let out a snort you are quick to join him in laughter. 
And in that moment of the two of you cuddling and laughing at each other, you silently thanked that TikTok. Because they created a memory that you would never forget.
°. — taglist ( @iloveyou3000morgan )
2K notes · View notes
yandere-sins · 6 months
Text
Underneath the Christmas Tree
You and König got into a fight when you realized what time of the year it was. He tries to make it up to you.
Characters: Yandere!König x Reader Fandom: Call of Duty Warnings: Yandere, Mentions of Violence, Building Stockholm Syndrom, Mentions of being tied up/ropes
a/n: Late as can be, but my little present to you guys! I hope that everyone got to eat yummy food and experience joy regardless of celebrations last year ♥ (Translations to the German words are below!)
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"Mein Herz... are you awake?"
Sometimes, you wondered how a man of his stature could make so little noise. You were never able to notice him until he had already crept up to you. It had always been this way. You felt like you had only just closed your eyes, barely dozing off, when he startled you with his presence next to you. After all the screaming and crying, you had managed to scare him off, but it felt like only minutes had passed since he left.
The rope around your wrist tightened as you stirred, startled by his voice and the touch of his palm at your cheek, his thumb caressing you gently as you were torn out of your sleep. You felt groggy and tired, but almost instantly, the irritation with him returned to your mind, mixing with the pain as the rope cut into your skin.
However, even with your eyes wide open, your mind needed a moment to focus, the room having turned darker than it was a few minutes ago. Had it really been minutes? Or hours? Did you fall asleep for the whole day, exhausted from your outburst?
You cursed under your breath, your mouth dry like sand. More pain shot through your arms as you tried to move, your expression twisting when König's chest suddenly hovered over you, his gloved fingers dancing all over your hands and arms, too anxious to touch but too scared to keep you in pain.
"Here, let me," he mumbled, concentrating on the knot he made. Even he had to focus when undoing his own work, his methods too skilled for even his own good. But the relief, as your arms sacked to the mattress of his bed, was almost too good; your body lulled back into relaxing now that the strain subsided. Your eyes were already closing when he spoke up, alerting you to the danger you were in.
"Better?" König asked, almost sounding smug about it like he expected to hear praise from you for doing the right thing. It would have almost shown his compassion had it not been him who put you into the restraint in the first place.
"Guess," you contered, and you two fell into silence as you stared at each other. The fabric covering his face made his eyes all the more piercing in the moonlight shining in through the window. He was the first to avoid his eyes—a meaningless victory with a man who went from Colonel to shy schoolboy at the sight of your face on the regular.
"I thought about what you said, and I think you're right."
"The bit about Christmas? Ugh..."
Pulling your arms to your chest, you felt the heaviness that had settled into your muscles, which had been a few hours long enough to make them stiff as boards. You examined your bruised and swollen, at times bloody, wrists as good as you could in the moonlight, but feeling the wet smears on your fingers and the burn of pain when you inspected them, you eventually resigned to sitting up and resting them in your lap.
It wasn't long before König reached out to have a look at your wrists as well, gently turning them over a few times to take note of all the damage he had done to you, every fiber of your being blaming him and refusing to take even an ounce of it despite the fact you were the one fighting against the ropes that he put you in. Everything was his fault, and you had no problem telling him that at every chance you got.
"Yeah... about your family and traditions."
This was new.
Usually, König would try to change the subject as best as he could when it became uncomfortable for him—and all your complaints and demands, reasonable as they were, were uncomfortable. König always found ways to try and tell you how much better this situation was without really confirming or denying your feelings, even though his attempts at convincing you otherwise were fruitless. So, hearing him talk about what he desperately tried to avoid... was new. Progress.
"So you'll let me go?"
Silence. Wringing his hands in his lap after releasing yours, König stared at the floor beneath his feet, sitting on the edge of the bed like a scolded puppy. "No..." he mumbled, and you felt the surprise turn back into anger, your body finding the strength to straighten up and get ready to argue again.
"But!" he intercepted, noticing the changes in you and holding up a finger to silence you before you could explode at him again. "Schatz, hear me out before you say something, bitte!"
"Go on then..."
It was hard to keep your composure when what you really would have liked to attempt was to tear his head off in any way possible. Somewhere under the obvious shirt he was wearing, there must have been a head you could either curse at or try to break the neck off. However, you refrained, a small part of you still hoping to find a peaceful solution that would let you escape unscathed. You were at a physical disadvantage, and hurting his feelings had never been a very wise choice either. For someone who quickly became overwhelmed and shy around you, König was an expert at kidnapping and stringing you up, knocking you out, and putting his hands where they didn't belong. Even if he seemed to regret his outbursts afterward.
"I can't let you go, I just... It's not possible. It's not safe. I hope you can understand that I can't do it."
Opening your mouth was all that was needed to have König scramble, his words tumbling over each other as he tried to form his thoughts into a sentence. One that would soothe you. One that would put him into good graces with you. Sometimes you wondered if he forgot how to be the scary guy that kidnapped you. Who stood still and menacing by your side, watching you sleep without an ounce of shame or manners. But then again, you were glad that bruises and self-inflicted wounds were all you had to suffer from. Even if he tried to be gentle, you knew his hands could cause more harm than good to you. The thought of what all they could ruin was more terrifying than being kidnapped was.
"But- I- Well, I thought we- I'm your family now, so... About today— Scheiße... Christmas, I can give you that."
"Christmas?" Cocking your eyebrow, you watched him nervously crush his thumb in his palm, unable to maintain eye contact with you even though König kept glancing at you from the corners of his eyes.
"It's been a while for me, so it's probably not much. But I... I want to show you I care—about you! About us. I didn't consider that these holidays would mean so much to you, and I'm sorry."
König got up before you could think of a reply. He barely turned towards you, his body tense, hands curled into fists. Nervous. You knew all the telltale signs of his anxiety, considering there was nothing better to do in his apartment than to study him when he was around and you two weren't fighting. But this time, as secretive as he was, it made you almost curious as to why.
"If you want to, you can come to the living room. I'd be happy if you did."
With that, he left the bedroom, leaving you behind with the door wide open. You knew the layout of his small apartment, but you were contained in this room most of the time without the chance of walking through this door without König. Apprehensive, you got out of bed, feeling the cold floor underneath your feet, causing you to tense. Your soles tingled, almost burning from the cold, and you hesitated. It felt wrong to walk around freely, even though it was what you desired most. Freedom.
You had to cross the hallway to get to the living room, passing by the bath and entrance door. This all felt unreal. Like König was going to stand behind you any second now, asking where you were going and dragging you back to his bed, chaining you up and leaving you there to scream and cry. But he wasn't. You could hear him moving around in the living room—probably pacing—wondering if you were going to come.
There was much to consider. Did you need to use the toilet? Take a shower? Was the front door unlocked?
Your brain was screaming Idiot! at you for even thinking you could make a run for it. But you'd never give up the fight, you swore yourself. Even when you knew he'd easily catch up to you, knock you out, and tie you up, dragging you back to the apartment. You still reached for the door handle, pushing it down and giving it a firm tug!
...
The sturdy lock held on tight to the door, and you wondered what you were expecting.
Your hand fell to your side, and you took a step back. The disappointment and frustration were mere zaps going through your body, not even enough to sway you. What did you expect? That König would leave it open? After all that he did to you?
When you looked up at the living room door, your eyes met his, sparks of hurt hiding in the shadows over his face, disappearing the second König turned away, returning to the living room and leaving you alone again. As if he couldn't bear to watch a second more of your betrayal. There was no need to speak about what happened, about the feelings going through both of you. Neither of you talked about the taboo that the front door upheld—you, the prisoner, and he, your kidnapper and stalker. A love leading to nothing but suffering and destruction. He left the scene after making sure you were safe. That was all that mattered, even if your attempt to leave cut deep into his heart.
A quiet, surrendering sigh escaped you before you turned towards the living room once more. The bath was still an option. You could have gone there, locked the door, taken a shower, and hid from your captor until he couldn't bear it anymore and removed the door that separated you two. But fighting him this morning had worn you down, so provoking and refusing something seemingly harmless like an invitation to the living room seemed silly even to you. Certainly, it would have hurt König, and you liked that idea, but what about yourself? Could you have lived with what hurting him would have meant for you?
Deep inside yourself, you realize you were just trying to justify your curiosity. Escaping would always be your number one priority, but at the same time, you couldn't help being curious about what he had prepared. Being locked in the same room day in and day out was so boring, and even if it was a setup for disappointment, it was still better than pouting by yourself in the bath, trying to fight him for no other reason than spite and hurting both of you in the process.
But you didn't tell yourself that. You told yourself it was an order from him, and you didn't want to be punished for disobeying. That was enough to justify your actions to yourself rather than admit that you were curious about something he did. You led yourself along the wall, hesitant but complacent with König's wishes—at least for now. Just for today.
Warm lights enveloped you the moment you stepped into the doorframe. Christmas lights - green, yellow, red - twinkled from a string of lights pinned to the ceiling, while the old (although decorated with fake greenery) lamp added a cozy, warm glow. The table was decorated with a table runner, candles, little pine cones, and a big wreath with burning candles, plates and cutlery set like you'd see in a restaurant.
Most surprisingly, however, was the Christmas tree set up next to the couch. Given it was barely the size from the floor to your hips. But König had perched the tree on a little stool and hung it with baubles and little figure ornaments like a nutcracker and Santa Claus' hat. It was nowhere near tidy or uniform like you knew from home, with different colors mixing and not always going well with each other. It seemed like it had been hastily put together with whatever he could grab. But in its odd way, it was an endearing sight to behold.
Underneath it, wrapped presents in various shapes piled, their wrapping paper glistening in the lights. Some were easy to figure out, like books. But others had a generic box shape that wasn't very precise on what the present would be. Honestly, you were astounded, barely able to say anything with your mouth open in surprise. König never had a lot of decoration around his home, and standing in an all-out Christmas wonderland was almost uncomfortable after getting used to white walls and unintentional minimalism.
On the other hand, König looked so out of place, like a black hole in the middle of a Christmas market. He stopped pacing—moving, entirely so—the moment your presence came into view. There was a moment of awkward silence between you two, his hands tensing and relaxing, ever so often curling into fists as he waited for you to say something.
"So, do you like-?"
"Wow, that's-"
More awkward silence followed as you both started and stopped your sentences. But eventually, it was König who broke it, stepping aside and inviting you in with a slight wave of his hand. "I hope you like it. I didn't have much time, so it's messy. Probably not how you'd do it, but next year, we can do it how you want to. We could go shopping or—"
Cutting himself off, he seemed to be biting his own tongue. There was no guarantee that you'd have a next year. That you'd go out with him to buy decorations or you two would be close enough to celebrate like this again. Nothing was truly certain in this weird relationship you had.
But he tried. He really did.
And it almost made you cry.
"I... uhm," you quickly turned away when you heard your own voice shake, wiping at your eyes and praying that this strange feeling of happiness that overcame you would pass, returning your anger and defiance to you instead. "It's... alright. It's fine."
That was a lie. It was not fine; not alright. It was wrong. Downright awful and manipulative. You should have been hating on it, cursing him out for trying to take advantage of your longing to make himself look better. It was cruel and heartless, and you liked the feeling of normalcy so much that you wished it would stay forever. At that moment, you wished he was your boyfriend that you loved, and you were just a couple celebrating the holidays. A moment of normalcy was worth more than your defiance. And it made you hate the person you felt yourself becoming in that stupid Christmas room.
König's shoulders lost some of their tension, his equivalent of a smile. This time, when he waved you closer, focusing on the tree he had put up, he seemed excited. "Komm!" he said, and you felt your heart leap with the same excitement that swung in his voice, his happiness contagious. Saying "it's fine" seemed to have been enough for him, König being ever so undemanding when it came to your affection.
König knelt next to the tree, still just as tall as it despite being brought down a notch, patting the couch beside him. You tiptoed your way around the man, half expecting him to jump up and attack you as you passed by his back, but he didn't. Taking a seat, you curiously stretched your neck to see what he was doing. After briefly combing through the presents, König picked out one wrapped in green, glittery paper, handing it to you before sitting down on the floor at your feet, watching you expectantly.
You could feel the book's hardcover without seeing it, glancing at König briefly before unwrapping it. Forthcame the cover of the last book you had been reading before your life went downhill. It wasn't the same copy, still smelling new, and its spine wasn't broken from being read in awkward positions. For a moment, it felt unreal that he would know how much you had longed to learn how it ended, thinking about it a lot in the most boring of afternoons. But then it reminded you of how he tore you out of your life and destroyed it with his actions. How was this a small compensation for all the bad things?
But you'd still read it.
Pressing it to your chest, you swallowed back the tears, giving a fake yet confident nod of approval. Your body language was good enough for König, even if he noticed the hints of tears in your eyes, and he handed you the next present with an encouraging hum. You went through many more wrapped presents like this—more books, movies, sweets, a back warmer and a teddy bear, and so many more things you enjoyed. You eventually ended up on the ground next to König, your knees touching while you were occupied with opening and awing at all your presents.
It was just you two, and the apartment was quiet but peaceful, unlike the constant screaming and pain that usually resided in it. The bitter truth was that despite being unusual, things could almost look normal.
So when he slipped his hand over yours, and you didn't flinch away, the silence felt more awkward than it felt right. It was like two lovers exchanging a moment of gentle togetherness in a world that was so cruel to them—a world you weren't in voluntarily but a world that König wanted this way. You couldn't bear it. Bear the thought of this being acceptable.
So you pulled away, hugging the teddy bear in your lap and looking at the pile of gifts. "I've got nothing for you," you commiserated, politeness being the only thing you could procure to avoid destroying the peace you two had for once.
"I've got all I need," König replied gently, and you forced yourself to look back at him. His gaze was soft, lights sparkling in his eyes as they moved from you to his hand, reaching out to you once more. He was getting greedy, pushing your boundaries for just one more touch. "Just you and me, right here. Under the Christmas tree. I'll not ask for more than that from you."
It would have been the perfect moment to rebuke him, to hurt him and stab the figurative knife into his heart by telling him you didn't feel this way. It would have been enough to tell him how you felt truthfully that you still hated him. But for some reason, you remained silent, allowing him this moment of disillusionment that you two were finally warming up to each other.
It was simply too painful to admit to yourself that you were.
"Are you hungry?"
König snapped out of it faster than you. Unusual as he could be quite stuck in his lovey-dovey ways. "I got us takeout; just have to reheat it. I hope you like Christmas food because I got us everything."
Heaving his body forward, he got back on his knees but hesitated for a moment before standing up. You didn't look at him or say anything, tensing when you heard his breath next to your ear. His actions made you want to fight him again, every fiber of your being rejecting him and his ideas of love. But not on that day. Maybe you didn't want to ruin it, no matter how disgusted you were with him and yourself.
The kiss that fell on top of your head lingered for seconds too long. It was as if he was trying to get on your nerves, though more realistically, he was merely basking in the opportunities you granted him. His lips felt gross despite your hair and his mask being in the way. Yet you let him.
"Frohe Weihnachten, mein Schatz," he uttered into the kiss before finally pulling away, standing up and heading straight for the kitchen. Soon, the room was filled with the smells of a roast in the oven and sides cooking on the stove while you remained where you were, sitting there like an unopened present waiting for him to return.
Your face burned as your heart swelled with affection for the man you hated the most. The man who gave you what you wanted despite having to scramble to pull off a Christmas like no other. Who loved you unconditionally. Loved you so much despite all the bad things you said to him. Who would move the world to make you happy, even though he refused to do it under normal circumstances. The only person you had left who cared so much about you, stalking you to the point of knowing the kinds of books you liked, movies, treats, and your favorite things, presenting them all to you for just a moment by your side in return.
You were disgusted and appalled by everything and yourself. But without realizing it, you started to question your feelings for König as you hid your face in the soft, plush body of his gift.
And what more could he ask for as a present than you—in doubt and foolishly falling in love with the idea of him in your head—underneath his Christmas tree?
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Mein Herz - My heart Schatz - Treasure (Equivalent to nicknames like Dear/Darling/Love) Bitte - Please Scheiße - Shit Komm - Come (in this context like “Come here”) Frohe Weihnachten, mein Schatz - Merry Christmas, my Love
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raz-writes-the-thing · 6 months
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Gaze of the Moon (HOTD One-Shot)
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Rhaenyra Targaryen x GN!Reader / requests are open
Summary: You and your wife, the Princess Rhaenyra steal a moment of peace together as you prepare for the coming birth of your child.
Fic type: fluff, romance, reflection
A/N: I had intended for this to be fem!reader x Rhaenyra but it wound up GN. This is also for @hotd-bigbang's March 11th prompt.
HOTD: (send an ask to be added to a tag list!)
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
"Did you know of that tale?" You asked softly, brushing your wife's hair back behind her ear as she lay against you in the moonlight. "About the second moon who cracked open from the heat of the sun and let the dragons out?"
Your wife let out a deep breath, the back of her skull pressing into your shoulder as she leaned back against you to peer out at the sky- up at the full moon above. She was gorgeous tonight. Radiant, round- both wife and moon.
The silver rays caught in Rhaenyra's loose hair, free tonight from tight braids and silk ribbons. The way you knew she preferred it. She'd been a wild child who'd grown into a proper lady, though you knew she yearned for the freedom of manhood. If she were a man, things would be easier. You both knew this but didn't care to dwell on it. There was no changing what was.
Rhaenyra hummed, eyes catching in the moon's gaze.
"I'm sure I remember my father telling me such a story once," she affirmed softly, lip twitching ever-so-slightly into the ghost of a smile. Your wife spent so much time stone-faced under the watchful eyes of the court vultures that even in the privacy of your own quarters she sometimes had trouble letting the cracks through. You treasured each of them like jewels as they deserved to be. "I used to stay up late into the eve and watch the moon- waiting for her to split and for the night to grow dark save for the fire of dragon's breath,' she admitted, eyes drawing closed as she thought on the memories.
"Perhaps one day, my dear wife," you said, pressing a kiss to her head before allowing your own to lean back against the cold, stone wall behind you. "Tell me, what is High Valyrian for 'moon'?"
You'd been learning her family's language for some time now, and you were certainly getting there. It was just that you preferred to hear the words from Rhaenyra's tongue. And truly, who could blame you when her voice had such royal lilt? Her voice was a balm for the mind. Or your mind, at the very least. You could listen to her speak for an age and then some.
"Hūra," Rhaenyra replied, a soft knowing smirk on her lips. You repeated it back to her, testing the syllables on your tongue. You liked the way it sounded, the way it felt. You reached a hand around her to brush over her swollen belly, round with child.
"If we have a daughter," you said thoughtfully, "Hūra is a nice name, do you not think?" Your fingers danced over her belly, and you both let out a laugh when you felt the babe kick from within her. Rhaenyra's hand joined yours, squeezing comfortingly. You hastily added, "It is not a traditional name, but I like it."
"Princess Hūra Targaryen," Rhaenrya breathed, opening her eyes to peer at her belly. "It does have a ring to it," she agreed, "and if the little one's restlessness is anything to speak of, the babe likes it, too."
You both lapsed into silence for a while, enjoying the light of the moon, the glint of the stars and the sounds of the night. It was quiet at this hour. Your favourite hour. What else could you possibly want for than this? A loving wife in your arms, a babe on the way, a flask of wine to share and the gaze of the moon on you?
"I suppose it is only fair you get to name one of our children," she said after a while. You'd almost thought her asleep in your arms with how quiet she'd been. "Why not the first. Get it out of the way, hmm?" She teased. "What if the babe is a boy?"
You chuckled softly, flicking at her arm in reply to her jape.
"Thank you, wife. Your generosity knows no bounds. I do not think the bairn is a boy, but if he is, I am quite fond of Vēzos. Best keep with the theme."
"One has to wonder where this sudden passion for celestial names has come from, my love," Rhaenyra mused. "Perhaps we will have twins. The Maester did say it was a possibility. Hūna and Vēzos. Moon and Sun-" Rhaenyra shifted uncomfortably as the babe wriggled under her skin. "I like it."
"Strong names," you added, brushing your fingers through her hair softly, aiming to detangle the few knots that caught in your fingers. "Compassionate names. Perfect for bairns destined for greatness."
You suddenly found yourself hoping for twins. A boy and a girl. Siblings to grow up together and protect each other from the horrors that lay dormant in the realm. You could picture them, age three or perhaps four, playing hide and seek in the gardens. Ages ten and four by their mothers' side on the throne. Ages nine and ten crowned joint heirs to the throne. Ages four and thirty sitting side by side on the throne. Ruling, together. Sun and Moon, over their kingdom. Their birth-right. Protecting each other and keeping each other in check. What was best for the kingdom.
The thought filled you with pride. Oh, yes, you hoped for twins. It wouldn't be long now until Rhaenyra was due. Within a month, most likely. It was part of the reason you both were staying up late at night and enjoying the peace. Once Rhaenyra commenced and completed her labours, there wouldn't be much room for peace and quiet.
And yet, you couldn't wait. You didn't like the thought of your lady-wife in pain, but the thought of your quiet chambers filled with the sounds of a babe or two growing big and strong was perhaps motivating enough for you to bear the thought of her pain. You'd be by her side no matter what, of course. Fuck the Maesters and midwives. This was your wife, your babe. You would be there to support her until she asked you to leave.
"We should retire to bed," Rhaenyra broke your thoughts as she began shifting to stand. "We both need our rest for the day to come. I believe we are making arrangements for catering after the birth."
Ah, yes. The feast the King was insisting upon for the birth of his Grand-Sire. As the birth grew closer, more plans needed to be set. Catering, colours, floral arrangements, gifts for the babe. So many things that Rhaenyra and yourself were set to arrange. You may have enjoyed setting the festivities up, but Rhaenyra would be more than happy to sit out if she could.
You hadn't told Rhaenyra yet, but you'd made arrangements with the cooks to send for the ingredients to make Rhaenyra's favourite sweets. Ones she had not had since she were near a babe herself. The rest of the food, however, you both needed to settle on. A job for tomorrow, quite clearly.
You supported her as she stood, following behind. You stretched out the muscles in your arms and legs, creaking with complaint. You could only imagine how Rhaenyra felt. You left the balcony door open to the bedchambers as you helped your wife shift out of her gown.
Once she was settled into the sheets, Rhaenyra let out a sigh of relief. The bed took the weight off her body and allowed her to settle in. You followed, pressing up against her back to keep her warm against the slight chill of the night.
Rhaenyra took your hand and rested it against her belly. You felt any of your remaining troubles melt away for the moment and pressed a kiss to the back of Rhaenyra's neck.
"Good night, my love," you whispered softly, rubbing your thumb over the silky material of her nightdress. "Sleep well, little one."
You drifted off to the sound of Rhaenyra's soft breathing and the quiet chatter of insects out in the gardens below your balcony, dreaming of the bairns to come, and a life well lived.
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trippedandfell · 6 months
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stop the world just to stop the feeling
The night before Maddie and Chimney's wedding, Buck and Eddie talk on a balcony. | 1.5k | buddie | ao3
Eddie’s just uncapped his second beer when he hears footsteps behind him, so familiar he recognizes who it is by sound alone.
“Hey,” he says, as Buck sidles into view, arms coming to rest on the balcony railing beside him. He’s got a drink in his hand, too - one of those fruity vodka seltzers that Eddie’s reluctantly started stocking in the bottom drawer of his fridge. “Couldn’t sleep?”
Buck fiddles with the tab on his can, the silver of it reflecting in the moonlight. “Something like that.”
His shirt is slightly too big, slipping down just enough to expose the sharp jut of his collarbone, the dark bruise forming on the edge of it. Eddie’s eyes fly to it without permission, and Buck flushes red. 
“It’ll be covered by the suit tomorrow, promise.”
“Mm.” Eddie takes another sip of his beer, ignoring the sour way it curdles in his stomach. “Good. Think Chim’s one incident away from going full groomzilla.”
“Can you blame him?”
“Not at all,” Eddie admits, and Buck huffs a laugh. “You should have been me the night before Shannon and I got married. I was a wreck.”
He’d been alone, in the shitty little apartment they’d rented once they learned about Christopher, Shannon spending the night at her mom’s across town to help them cling to some ragged sense of propriety that neither of them truly believed in. It had been one of the most awful, stomachache-inducing nights he’d ever had up to that point in his life, and it wasn’t until he saw Shannon in the church the next day, glowing in a way that had nothing to do with the bump hidden under the folds of her white dress, that everything had finally clicked into place.
“Hi,” she had said, reaching out to squeeze his hand, and Eddie had let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding.
Buck’s staring at him now, as if he can sense the myriad emotions playing out in Eddie’s head. “It’s so weird,” he says. “Maddie and Chimney have basically been married for a while now. But all of this just makes it feel so real.” He gestures a hand at the expansive hotel grounds, the ocean beyond. “I mean, my parents are here.”
Eddie knows. Eddie had done an exceptional job at ignoring them at the rehearsal dinner that night, tucked in the corner by himself, Marisol having gone to their room earlier with a headache.
He feels a brief, guilty flash about leaving her alone now, although she’d been snoring when he’d crept past Chris on the sofa bed and out into the light of the hallway. He wonders, idly, if he should have left a note.
“They seem to be behaving,” he offers, which is about all of the goodwill he’s able to give the Buckley parents at any given time. Buck makes a face at him, and he adds, half-teasing, “for now.”
As far as he knows, they haven’t said a word so far to Buck about Tommy. He should probably ask, but somehow he can’t make his mouth form the words.
Buck drums his fingers against the balcony, quiet. “Do you ever think about it?”
What, fighting your parents? Eddie almost jokes, but he knows that’s not what Buck’s asking. “About getting married again?”
“Or getting married at all,” Buck says, and there’s something in his face, something suspiciously like longing, that has Eddie taking another gulp of his beer. “Like, big reception, flowers. The whole nine yards.”
“I wouldn’t do a big reception,” Eddie says, shuddering. “Just in the backyard, or something.”
Buck cracks a smile. “You do have a nice backyard.”
“You’re just saying that because you did all the landscaping,” Eddie says, bumping their shoulders together. “I had to weed it the other day though, so I should at least get partial credit.”
Buck looks sheepish at that, which wasn’t what Eddie was going for, but also wasn’t not what he wanted to happen. “I meant to come do it this week, I’ve just been -”
“Busy,” Eddie finishes for him, which isn’t fair, not really. Not when Buck is still over at his house most days, not when he hasn’t missed a single one of his afternoons out with Christopher. It’s just that there’s now a new purple marker in his kitchen, carefully outlining Buck’s availability on the calendar.
Eddie’s never had to schedule Buck in before. Not with Taylor, or Natalia, or even Ali, way back when. 
Combine that with the fact that Buck’s now asking about marriage…
Eddie drains the last of his beer. “You should get some sleep. You’ve got a big day tomorrow.”
“Yeah,” Buck agrees, but stays where he is, shoulder still pressed against Eddie’s. “Hey - uh. We’re good, right?”
“Buck, you’ve already apologized.” And grovelled, and apologized again, until Eddie was back from medical leave and working with the 118 again.
“Not about that.” Buck shakes his head, the movement bringing him closer to Eddie still, their forearms nearly overlapping on the railing. “I mean - about me. And Tommy, I guess.”
And Eddie - Eddie will be the first to admit it took him a second to come to terms with it, to fully wrap his head around the idea of Buck with a man and, more specifically, Buck with Tommy. But he’d hugged Buck, and stumbled his way through some approximation of support, and then gone home and researched until his eyes were burning and he’d bookmarked every tab he could find about bisexuality and being a good ally - so. He thinks he’s been doing okay, overall. Certainly not poorly enough to make Buck question if he’s been harbouring secret homophobic tendencies all this time.
“You know I’m good with that,” he says, and means it. “And you and Tommy seem - really good. So if you’re happy, I’m happy.”
Buck’s eyebrows crinkle together, and Eddie has to resist the fanatical urge to reach over and smooth them out. “I know. I know you are. But something else just seems - wrong.”
“With me?”
“With us,” Buck says, voice veering toward frustration. “Come on, Eddie. You know you feel it too.”
Something thumps in Eddie’s chest, like his heart is suddenly trying to beat out of his chest. “Buck, I promise nothing’s changed-”
“But something has,” Buck says. “And I don’t know what, and it’s driving me insane, and every time I’m at work or at the gym or even with Tommy-” Wait, what? Eddie thinks, panicked -  “I’m lost in my own head, wondering how the fuck I managed to mess up the most important relationship in my life.”
“You didn’t fuck anything up,” Eddie says, honest. “No one did. It’s just - growing pains. You’re in a relationship, I’m in a relationship - it’s natural that we maybe don’t come first for each other anymore.”
Buck stares at him, the corner of his eyes suspiciously red. “We both know you don’t actually believe that.”
He doesn’t, but they’re veering into dangerous territory now. “Buck-”
“Why is it different now?” Buck says. “We’ve both dated people at the same time before. Taylor and Ana, Marisol and Natalia. Why is this different?”
Eddie doesn’t feel like he’s capable of breathing. “Buck-”
“It’s not because I’m with Tommy,” Buck says, raking a hand through his hair. “Or that I’m bi. It’s not actually any of it, is it, Eddie?”
He doesn’t sound angry, just - resigned. Tired. The beer bottle is clammy against Eddie’s palm. 
“You never answered my question earlier,” Buck says. “About if you would get married again.”
When Eddie speaks, his voice feels like sandpaper. “Maybe. If it was the right person.”
“Is Marisol the right person?”
“Is Tommy?”
Buck flinches, minuscule. “I asked first.”
“You know what my answer is, Buck,” Eddie says, and he’s tired, so tired. 
“You know mine too,” Buck says, soft.
He does know. Just like he knows Buck’s favourite song, favourite dinner, favourite feel-good rom-com. Just like he knows that Buck will spend all of tomorrow night dancing with Tommy, but he’ll save one dance for Christopher, spinning him around the middle of the room while Eddie watches. Just like how he knows -
“Eddie,” Buck says, and Eddie realizes how close they are now, facing each other with the moon still high overhead, lips a hairsbreadth apart. “We can’t.”
Eddie can feel Buck’s exhale against his lips. “I know,” he says. Taking a step back feels like swimming against a riptide, but he manages to get his limbs to cooperate eventually. “We should head back in.”
Buck swallows, chin bobbing as he nods. “Yeah. I’ll - uh. See you tomorrow?”
There’s something here, slipping out of Eddie’s grasp. He doesn’t think either of them knows quite how to cling on to it. 
“See you tomorrow,” he echoes, and then Buck’s turning toward the door, back to the hallway that’ll lead him to his room, to Tommy in his bed.
Eddie waits until he’s fully out of sight before he follows.
also on ao3!
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tags: @leothil @sibylsleaves @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove @deformed-globule @cantyouseethatyouresmotheringme @silassstingy
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yestrday · 7 months
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: ̗̀➛ LOVE BITES. yan! isagi yoichi / gn! reader / yan! kurona ranze
you don't know what to do but spit fire and hate at two kidnapping psychos who can't even keep their lips off each other. they could at least have the decency to not do it in front of you :/
+ waaaah idk this writing feels lazy but i love love loooove poly yanderes and i wanted to try exploring it...
( once again. how do kissing scenes work. slight bl00d. poly relationship. implied other poly relationships who are also out to getcha )
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ever since their blue lock days, kurona had always been isagi’s partner-in-crime. of all the partners yoichi could have chosen, he who had came later in his life was the one who won isagi’s trust and hand. and now he and isagi conquered together– in every match, in every television appearance, and now most importantly, you.
“kurona,” isagi murmurs, his delicate yet calloused fingers running up and down your bare hips. called by his silent command, kurona leans in closer, and his lean body presses itself on your shivering back. there is a silent intimacy in the air, simply indescribable by words. alone in the shadows of their shared living space, with only the occasional sliver of moonlight whenever the curtains flutter, the three of you press your heated bodies together.
isagi casts his gaze upon him, benevolent and possessive. it’s a cross between the kind off-field isagi and the cruel maestro of the court, and kurona finds himself shuddering under his gaze. “kurona,” he calls again. “talk to [your name] for me, please?” he sends him a pleading look, obviously disappointed that none of his attempts to consoling you is working. “i think they’re still scared of me.”
“mmm, is that true, [your name]?” he nuzzles into your nape and hugs your waist. your breath hitches when you feel his fingers dig into your skin– not harsh and blood-drawing as you expected, but well, who can blame you for your paranoia? “why’re you scared of isagi? of me? hmm?” your nape is soft against his nose, and he lets out a content sight. “we’re taking good care of you, aren’t we?”
you can’t help but whimper when he finally places all his body weight on you, treating you like a mere plushie as you’re now squished between isagi and kurona. “that’s right,” isagi hums, idly playing with your hair. “whatever you want, you can ask. we’re pros now, [your name]. we can buy you anything you want.”
you bite your lip, sending a teary glare up at isagi. he smiles so kindly, just like the kind boy you once cheered on blue lock tv. you can feel kurona’s gentle touch on your stomach too, and keenly aware of how capable he is of hurting you with just one clench. “i want to go back home.”
kurona and isagi share a quiet laugh. “everything except for that, that is.” the blue-haired boy even has the gall to send you an apologetic smile. “sorry.”
“we need you here with us,” kurona whispers, as sweet as he can be. his teeth graze against your nape once again but before he pulls away he takes a nip at your skin again, with more warning than the last. “you’re our prize, our trophy, our love. all of us love each other, yeah? you love us, and we love you too. how could you handle being away from us?” he has the gall to say all of this like it’s fact, imposing their feelings on you even when your face contorts into disgust with every delusion he spouts.
“i don’t think i would wanna live without you and isagi,” kurona whispers into your skin, as if sharing a secret. isagi’s one arm slings itself around kurona, now having the two of you huddled in his arms. “i think i’d die. yeah, i’d die.” sometimes, you think that kurona might just as much of a prisoner as you are. isagi likes to play nice all the time but both of them know how cruel and manipulative he could be, and how tightly he has kurona wound around his finger. but you watch as isagi smiles endearingly at the boy, pressing a kiss on his lips. then when he pulls away, kurona lets out a low whine, isgai’s breath hitches, and he dives in again for yet another albeit messier kiss. you cringe and look away.
chuckling, isagi gently holds the back of your hair— slightly squeezing the strands as warning— and guides your vision back to them. isagi is watching you from the side of his eye, smirking as he continues with that messy and drooly kiss. kurona struggles to even open his eyes, too pleasure-struck as he leans into the kiss. “watch, [y. name]. you could learn a lesson or two,” he chuckles. “kurona’s always so good for you and me. you should see what you’re missing.”
 “i’m not missing out anything,” you sneer, though you’re only speaking to air as isagi redirects his energy into making out with kurona. “you two are sick. keeping me here and subjugating me to your every whims. you’re perverted psychos, that’s what you fucking are.” 
kurona’s eyes slant slight, looking somewhat like a kicked puppy as you spout venom at the both of them. isagi just looks more amused than anything and he finally releases kurona from his hold. the sharp-toothed holds both of your hands in his as he looks up at you pleadingly as he presses your cold palm against his cheek. “[y. name], you’re here because we want to protect you. everyone out there wants a piece of you… kaiser and ness… nagi and that millionaire. isagi just wants the best for you.” he presses a soft kiss to your palm. “for the both of us.” 
you want to refute this, that the only reason why they locked you away is so their other equally psycho competitors won’t find you and take you for themselves. but kurona’s eyes and gentle acts have a way of prodding at your heartstrings and you feel like you were falling for this stupidly effective manipulation tactic of his. so instead you sigh and look away from him, gritting your teeth with hardened eyes.
“now, now, don’t be too stubborn,” isagi laughs, pressing a kiss to your temple and nuzzling into the crook of your neck. “you’re going to be with us for a lo~ng time. might as well learn how to love it.”
you bite your lip to silence yourself and watch as kurona smiles gently at you, nestling himself right beside isagi’s head. “love you so much, both of us,” he murmurs into your skin. his sharp teeth graze the soft flesh, making you stiffen and your fingers dig into isagi’s thigh in alarm. “you’ll accept our love, won’t you?”
“of course they will, kurona,” isagi affirms, not even waiting for your response. “don’t feel too guilty.”
a silence between them happens, sharing some sort of secret message you’re not privy to. soon, kurona’s lips twitch into a smile—
and his teeth dig into your neck, blood seeping from the broken skin as you scream at the pain. warmth shoots through your neck, something trickles downwards and under your shirts, and you stare wide-eyed at the ceiling as you hear nothing but your own shallow breaths. kurona hums beside you, licking the marks in apology, and one fearful glance at him has you flinching at how he licks the blood from his lips with that ever-gentle expression.
“looks s’ pretty on you, kurona,” isagi says appreciatively, pressing down on his lower lip with his thumb and kurona opens his mouth so he can get a full view of the mess within his mouth. “must taste really good, huh? especially with the way you’re blushing.” 
he’s right, your mind manages to comprehend. his eyes are lidded as his tongue swipes at his teeth to get every drop and the blush on his pale face tells you just how much he’s enjoying this. the man’s a sick pervert. how could i fucking forget?
“don’t be so angry, [y. name].” isagi swipes a trickle of blood from your skin and presses it against kurona’s lips, who too eagerly sucks on his finger to get more of the taste. “it’s the least you could do for hurting kurona’s feelings. our feelings.” 
you don’t quite have the energy to even bite back. in defeat, you slump against isagi and close your eyes to the sound of kurona’s hungry slurps and isagi’s encouraging moans.
sick fucks.
maybe you should let yourself get kidnapped by reo. better the collar than getting bitten. probably.
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tb3ih · 3 months
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ILLICIT AFFAIRS, fushiguro megumi.
[ CLASSMATE!megumi has you wishing for more than the night... ]
⨳ cw: smut, 18+ (mdni), alcohol consumption, university jjk parallel, cunnilingus, pussy-drunk!megumi, creampie, use of 'sweetheart', fem!reader.
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fushiguro megumi is all bite no bark. he is a silent killer, stealing hearts from across the crowded club floor and sneaking out the back doors. he's got a face of porcelain and inky black locks that you find only extend his encapsulating aura if you manage to slip past the grasp of those beautiful jade irises.
rarely smiles and never manages to sustain his interest for more than a minute, you find yourself only a little surprised to see him sitting quietly in one of the club booths, his friends laughing over booze while he sits wordlessly holding a cup of something expensive.
you know him from some of your classes at university, though you hardly had the time to consider who he was. after all; being a scholarship student meant you spared no time for silly little pleasantries. it was only now--with graduation around the corner and all your exams done--did you allow yourself to unwind.
and he was the type of guy you promised to steer clear of--the inconsiderate kind to wear maison margiela to reel you in and leave you wondering why you even let him the next morning in his empty bedsheets.
so you're at the bar, shooting something that burns all the way down your throat before you let your heel-clad feet carry you to the sea of people on the floor. the bass of the music is booming and you let the your limbs flow with the rhythm you seem to swim in.
it's hot, crowded, and claustrophobic, but you've never felt more free.
"any room for a plus one?" when you turn to follow the sound of his voice, megumi stands close to you, the lights of the club dancing across the planes of his face.
you scoff, eyes falling down to the see that the tips of his fingers ghost at your waist.
he's waiting for an invitation.
so you carry your eyes back up to meet his gaze. "that depends," you reply, "if you can keep up."
and you never thought yourself much of a dancer, but something in the way his lips pull with the faintest bit of amusement and the weight of his hands when they do settle on the small of your back has you wanting nothing more than to fall into this unspoken tango between the two of you.
so you do.
and maybe when you feel the burning in your throat you blame it on the empty brandy bottle on your apartment floor because it never be the way his lips dance across your neck as you sit on the cold marble of your kitchen counter. your fingers find his collar, popping the expensive buttons and relishing the way the clinking sound they make bouncing across the tile of your kitchen.
you hear him laugh lowly against your jugular, muttering something about how you're the first to ever ruin such an expensive shirt. you only laugh in reply, telling him to shut up as you practically tear the material off of him, eyes raking over the way the contours of his chest and shoulders are painted in the moonlight of your kitchen. and in a flash, your poor dress is next, the cool of the air causing a sigh to escape your lips as the zipper comes undone and the fabric is discarded somewhere in the room.
his strong hands are pressing against your thighs, his force slow yet strong as he opens you up like a book. his lips find yours once more and you think you like the way he groans when you sink your incisors into the flesh of his bottom lip.
"fuck," he breathes, hands moving to grip under your thighs to pull you to the edge of the counter. "i could devour you and it'd never be enough."
and the two of you are a mess. half muttered curses and moans fall from your lips as he traces a path from your collarbones through the plain of your chest and down your abdomen. you feel the way his voice whispers promises into your skin as he unfurls you like silk on the marble counter, the occasional groan leaving his lips when his ears catch the way you call his name.
"may i?" you almost don't hear it because he's whispering it, eyes on the damp patch on your panties.
you take a second to catch your breath, "what?"
his thumb applies pressure to your clothed entrance, your walls quivering just slightly at the contact in a way that has you embarrassed. your body betrays you the way it craves the man before you.
megumi's gaze comes to meet yours, somehow repeating the question silently. you nod, "yes, please, anything..."
and that's all he needs before he's hooking a deft finger into the hem of your panties, discarding it over his shoulder like every boundary and shred of self-respect you thought you had when the night started in that crowded club.
two fingers prod at your entrance, and you can't help the arch that forms in your back when he does finally push in, relieve the aching in your core that has you breathless. "god, you're fuckin' beautiful..."
his mouth is parted, eyes hazy as they watch the way you cover his fingers in arousal. from the tone of your whines to the way your body reacts to his touch has something feral clicking in his head and he can't help himself when he finally brings his mouth down to your aching pussy. "holy shit."
he's tongue and lips on your aching core. he eats, you think, like a man starved. and you think to thank all the girls before you because he's got you mewling his name and your mind going blank with pleasure. you feel the familiar pull in your stomach, the occasional bump of his nose against your swollen clit bringing you closer and closer to your high, and you fear you might just like the way his edging makes the corners of your vision burn.
"hey," he mumbles against you, and you feel him pause, the loss of contact causing you to find his expression from between your legs in the dim light of the room. "it's not too late to stop, you know."
megumi's voice is soft and you like the way his words fall from his tongue to settle in your ears. "no i'm okay, really..." there is a clinking of metal, probably the buckle of his belt as it hits the floor of the kitchen and you hear his zipper follow.
he is no longer below you but above you, pushing you to lay back on the cool of the counter. there's something warm pressing to your exposed core and you're not quite processing things until his hand comes hold your face ever so gently.
"focus, sweetheart," he says, though from the look in his eyes and the way he sucks in a ragged breath, you think he's trying to will himself to do the same.
so you let your eyes drink him in, from the outline of his tousled hair, the jade of his eyes, and the heaving of his chest. he still has hand holding your face and you shift your head to bring your lips to his fingers, pressing gently.
"please?"
and that breathless whisper is all he needs before slamming his hips against yours, filling you till all the breath's escaped your lungs and your vision hasn't even the room for stars to fill it.
it's all so strange to you; the way his eyes trace over where your bodies connect, a nearly amorous glint in those beautiful jade irises. his pace is fast yet sure, and you're not so intoxicated by him that you don't catch the way his thumbs rub lightly over where his grip had been bruising only moments ago.
think nothing of it, you repeat in your mind every time you think his kisses on your neck linger a bit too long or the way his tone seems to rouse your heart when he's muttering how good this feels, how good you feel.
you know he's close when you feel the stuttering of his pace, the lilt of his voice getting desperate as he continues. his hand is back on your clit, applying a delicious amount of pressure that has you gasping his name again and again and again.
"ah ah," he coos, his free hand releasing your hip to frame your face, jade eyes alight with something more than amusement when you have no choice but to meet his gaze. "don't hide from me, sweetheart, i wanna know how you feel," he says.
and you can feel your own climax coming closer, his pace slowing but his thumb working simultaneous at your bundle of nerves. your stomach is tight and you think you might scream but he's got his lips against yours in an instant, your thighs locked tightly around his hips as he makes a final thrust, pouring warmth into you as finish with him. back arched and stomach pressed against his chest, you're both chasing the oxygen you find from each other, letting the rest of your high settle yet making no move to separate.
"'m sorry about that," megumi mumbles against your lips, eyes looking falling to where the two of you are still connected, "i forgot to ask if that was alright..."
you blink at him, something light bubbling in your stomach until it breaks a smile across your swollen lips and rings out as laughter. his expression is genuinely perplexed and you take a moment to gather yourself, tears beginning to form at the corners of your eyes. "you... just had me on my kitchen counter," you start, "and you're apologizing for finishing inside without asking first?"
his face contorts into a scowl, rose dusting his cheeks a little. he ducks his head, lips meeting your neck before muttering a small "yeah". his eyes are a little bashful when they meet yours again and you're surprised by the vulnerability in the way he's looking at you. "...felt like heaven..."
your hands hold his face and you chuckle, thumbs rubbing over his cheeks to reassure him that it was alright for him to do that. "but uhm," you say, clearing your throat a little, "could we move somewhere a little more comfortable? i think you might break my spine if we go another round on the counter..."
his lips curl and you don't know if you've prepared yourself spiritually for the way his eyes hold a mischievous glint in them. "thought you'd never ask, sweetheart," he replies, shifting his face to press a chaste kiss against the palm of your hand before lifting you off the counter effortlessly.
fushiguro megumi was the kind of man you couldn't hold expectations for; but here, in the dim atmosphere of your apartment, you find yourself letting his lips against your skin settle like a promise, hoping more than anything that your heart won't be hurting when the sun comes to replace the moon in sky.
after all, nothing could be more desirable than when it is illicit.
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© tb3ih mmxxiv all rights reserved.
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murdrdocs · 8 months
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dark content; ghostface!luke; explicit sexual content; MDNI
you have your suspicions that luke castellan isn't the man he portrays himself to be.
beneath his mournful gaze, woven between his sorrowful words, you're so sure that luke is insincere. his words of condolences to other campers lack a certain depth. his motivational speeches, always on the topic of remaining brave in the face of fear that these tragic incidents are creating, are disingenuous.
it's only natural that you have to investigate.
sneaking out past curfew on nights you weren't patrolling, offering to take up someone else's shift or just being there to provide a second set of eyes. but not on the scenery. on him.
because you're fairly certain that the monster isn't coming from outside of camp.
eventually you catch him standing in the center of the strawberry field facing away from you, swinging his sword as if the weapon is simply attached to his arm, the infamous mask described by others sticking out of his back pocket for you to notice.
you've seen luke fight. he's trained you in combat. you know that if he wanted to kill you, he would barely have any trouble doing so.
you would put up a good fight, but you would end up on your knees, waiting for the fatal blow.
is that why you don't bother fighting in the first place? or is it for some sicker, more sinister reason?
you like to think that your lack of resistance derives from knowing deep down that it would have failed. but it's hard not to consider the other implications whenever luke is smirking down at you, holding the weapon he affectionately introduced as backbiter to your neck, and your blood is rushing to places it shouldn't be.
your limbs should be taking most of the blood flood, creating a vibration in your legs and arms that would get you out of this situation quickly if need be. instead, your blood has rushed to your center, creating a thump! thump! that luke's hand—cupping your mound under your bottoms and above your panties—definitely can feel.
confirming your suspicions, luke's eyebrows furrows as he speaks. "is that?..."
your throat dries out. your nostrils flare as you take a sharp inhale designed to disguise the way you urge to roll your eyes back when luke starts to rub his hand along your center.
"are you turned on right now?"
the way he says it is so fucking cruel, but you honestly can't blame him.
it's deplorable, your behavior. your head tipped back not only to attempt to avoid the sharp tip of luke's blade against your jugular, but also because luke's fingers pumping in and out of you is so sinfully delicious.
here, in the middle of the field, surrounded by strawberries with the scent wafting to your nose with every gust of wind, you hope that the wind doesn't carry your noises.
the two of you are only lit by the torches off in the distance and the moonlight up above, providing a shameful spotlight onto your bodies. one standing strong and tall, shoulders pushed back with assurance and horrifying confidence making his gaze hard as he stares at you over the slope of his nose. and the other, slumped over with your head resting on luke's shoulder as an orgasm forces itself through your body.
it's wrong to curl up in the arms of a killer. it's idiotic to feel safe there.
backbiter has been stabbed into the dirt, sticking up straight, and with his freed hand luke cups the back of your head, stroking the area while his fingers replicate a similar motion in your panties.
"sh, it's okay, just let it happen, angel," he tells you, voice a rough whisper.
(does his voice sound deeper, or is that your subconscious acknowledging his sins?)
"i know you're feeling guilty, being with someone like me." he chuckles dryly as your orgasm fades out. "but it's okay. i promise you. i won't hurt you."
you know you shouldn't believe his words. but this is luke, the guy you at least thought you could trust with your life.
you do know you can trust him to give you a good orgasm, as his fingers refuse to stop within you, the digits picking up speed despite your feeble protests in the form of wobbly words.
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luvelve · 1 year
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boyfriend!wonwoo who wakes up at the slightest sound or movement and he can’t help it or do anything about it even if he so badly wants to. the first few weeks of living together was difficult to say the least. you’d wake up in the middle of the night to pee or to have a glass of water and you’d find wonwoo sitting on the edge of the bed, waiting for you to come back. guilt would wash over you knowing he has to get up early in the morning and every other morning.
you feel like the worst person in the world having to interrupt his slumber, but he tells you its okay. you once even offered to sleep in separate rooms so wonwoo can have 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep. but of course, he turned the offer down. sometimes he’d act like he wasn’t woken up from your movement because he knows you still feel guilty.
you’re many months into sharing a bedroom and you’ve kinda gotten used to your light sleeper of a roommate. it’d help when wonwoo came home absolutely exhausted, he’d sleep like a baby and couldn’t be disturbed by anything.
it’s way past 3am on a gloomy tuesday morning when you feel your blanket shift and cold wind hit your lower body. you look over your shoulder to wonwoo’s side and you see him getting up and putting his glasses on. he’s quietly heading towards the door when you let out a mumble.
“i’m sorry my love, i didn’t mean to wake you.” he finds your face under the moonlight that shines through the window.
“where are you going?” you use whatever strength you have to sit yourself up on the bed.
“i was just going to get some uh… water.”
liar. the glass of water you put on his bedside table before lying down has barely been touched. and the fact that he put his glasses on isn’t helping his lie either. it takes you a few seconds but you also notice that his hair hasn’t been messed up from sleep.
“have you been up all night?” you shoot him a head tilt, slowly getting up from your bed to make your way towards him. you can tell the mental gymnastics he’s doing in his head to try and convince you to get back to bed. at this point, wonwoo knows you’ve got him and there’s no point in lying anymore.
“yes… but its okay, really. y-you can go back to bed.” he tells you softly, putting his hands in the pockets of his sweatpants. even at this hour, when wonwoo hasn’t had a second of sleep, he’s still able to be this selfless.
you stand just a few inches away from him, head tilted up to look him in his tired and droopy eyes while he looks down at you, doing the same thing. it’s silent and the only thing that can be heard is the faint sounds of the city. you take a small step to close the gap between the two of you as you wrap your arms around his waist. your head is resting on his chest and you feel it rise and fall.
“we’ve talked about this before. you always stay up with me, even when i never ask you to. waiting for me to get back from the kitchen or the bathroom. and it’s unfair to you… but i hope you know that i’d do the same for you.” you close your eyes, head still resting on his chest, internally blaming yourself for not being as light a sleeper as your boyfriend.
he smiles and returns your hug, wrapping his arms around your body and resting his chin on the top of your head. “i know, my love. i’m sorry.” another trait of your wonwoo’s, being sorry for something that’s not even his fault.
“just wake my sleepy ass up next time, okay?” he lets out a laugh and you feel it rumble in his chest. you lift your head up to look at him once again as he nods. his smile is big enough that the corners of his eyes crease.
“jeon wonwoo, i wanna hear you say it.” your voice is soft yet a bit playful. you tug at his white shirt as your lips unconsciously form into a slight pout.
“yes, maam.”
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a/n: as usual, this is very self indulgent. but also, i feel like this is something that wonwoo would actually do :(( aaand i still can’t seem to finish this wonwoo fic that’s been in my drafts for over 3 weeks so pls enjoy this for now <3
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damn-stark · 1 month
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Chapter 16 And wisdom choke you
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Chapter 16 of Moonlight
A/N- Aegon: “Maester the psychos are loose. Help me.”
Warning- Swearing, talks of pregnancy, ANGST!!, fluff!!, Aegon, SPOILERS, LONG CHAPTER.
Pairing- Aemond Targaryen x Velaryon!fem-reader, Cregan Stark x Velaryon!fem-reader
Episode- 2x06-2x07
(If you want to be tagged let me know)
————
Of course, you knew Aemond was going to kick his mother out of the Small Council. He said he didn't think she was really needed there anymore.
You also saw his unwillingness as he told you.
Is that why she’s here interrupting your peace?
“You look very lovely today, Your Grace,” Alicent offers you sweet words as if working up to her bribe. Or not?
Then again it’s not like you seek each other's company, so she most likely wants to talk about Aemond with you, and you have some idea what she might say. She was basically yelling it at you for help during the Small Council meeting.
Still, you pretend you don't have a clue and spare a glance at the pretty teal dress decorated with embroidered stars on the long capes that cascade down your shoulders, and then look over at her and notice her studying the pearl headpiece that you wear, the golden arm sleeves that hang from your armbands and weigh down your arms before she meets your gaze and gives you a smile.
“I have to say I always like how you dress, and I don’t know how you do it with your morning sickness.” She says and takes a step closer while you offer her a genuine smile.
“I will admit I don’t know how I do it either, I’d rather be abed, but,” you sigh and take a glance around. “There’s stuff to be done and I really hate being bored and so plain dressed. I blame my father for that.” You laugh softly. “There was never a day I did not see him dressed so extravagantly…except for when it came to training of course.”
She offers you a faint smile and adds nothing since there’s really nothing she wanted to say about your father to avoid upsetting you, and well, she really didn’t care at the moment.
“After the small council meeting, I could not help but hear that you are having trouble keeping food down,” Alicent brings up to not drift away too far.
You nod. “Yes, I,” you pause and drop your gaze as you find that your next words come easy to you. Is it because the way she framed her question is how your mother would have asked you? Or because you really are seeking some help on the matter?
“…I have been finding it hard between not being hungry and not keeping the food down, or my head and stomach aching,” you spill out your troubles out of desperation. “I never had that while I was expecting Aerion. It was rather easy then.”
Alicent finishes closing the distance between you to be able to grab your arm as she looks at you softly, making her brown eyes almost inviting to get lost in.
“It’s all normal, not every experience will be the same, especially with twins,” she tries to offer you what you seek. “Morning sickness goes away, I found that ginger tea with drops of lemon juice helped me when I was feeling under the weather with Daeron.”
You take in her suggestion with a gentle nod and soon thereafter see her hand gently slide off your arm.
“It will go away. Just like one of the twins will grow like their sibling, don’t worry,” she adds, making you swallow back nervously and nod in comprehension.
“Aemond,” you share in a soft voice that you rarely use when you’re talking with her. “Has tried to read into it. I caught him this morning since it’s the only time he can dive back into his own pleasures before Regent duties steal his attention.”
Alicent blinks and her eyes lose that sweet attempt at being comforting, instead, something else flickers within that makes her eyes dull and her lips droop to a long forming frown.
“He has really jumped into his role as Regent hasn’t he?” She mutters and takes a step back. “He would be so quiet at meetings with Aegon, now…” she trails off and pauses whilst her eyes search the white tree behind you. “He's…different. Colder.”
You take in her words to try and find the fault she clearly sees, but you find nothing. “Well…we are in a time of war. He needs to be hard so people listen, a gentle voice makes them too lenient and carefree like Lord Jason Lannister.”
Alicents eyes snap to you and the corner of her lips twitch with discontent, yet she doesn’t give up.
“Does that mean having to kick his own mother out of the Small Council?” She now blurts, making you stiffen only because it’s awkward and something she should talk about with anyone else but you.
“If it’s any consolation, the decision wasn’t easy to make,” you reveal, causing her eyebrows to briefly meet in the middle as she’s slightly surprised by the words you admit. But then her expression changes as she’s proven right.
“I see,” she mumbles and drifts her eyes away for a moment before she lifts her head up high to slowly look at you with this desperation that makes her eyes wide and glisten as if she wants to lure you in.
“You and Aemond are close, I see that. I have always seen it since you were children, but now that you’re married, now that you have a family of your own it seems that connection has only grown,” she rolls out of her tongue. “I’m glad that he has someone he loves, a best friend with a key to his heart. He needs that now more than ever.”
You blink and slowly figure her out. Those sweet words, and that thing she’s doing with her eyes.
“He needs someone to keep him calm, someone to make him see reason,” she continues to ramble. “And I’m glad that it’s you. You’re gentle just like your mother. You have reason. And you’re smart.”
And once again she’s proving that she does not know you. The way you are is a reason why your mother was also hesitant to let you fight, like Jacaerys you’re quick to upset, so you suppose you get that from her.
“You have to be his reason, you have to be like a voice in his head, and I know it’s not always easy but you are the only one with access to his heart—”
“And I have no means of changing it,” you cut off her rambling while looking at her with discontent and disapproval. “He can’t be on his ass, or be some lenient Regent who lets people walk over him. He has to put his foot down; he has to get his hands dirty. We’re at war. You see that, you have lost a soul because of this war, do you want to lose more?” You snap at her in defense of Aemond.
“I will interfere when I can,” you admit but that doesn’t offer her peace of mind, instead she grows more upset. “But I won't bend him at the will of anyone just so he can what? Give you your seat back on the Small Council?”
Alicent swallows back nervously and drags in a deep breath that makes her chest rise high. When she lets the breath go it comes out shaky and her eyes now glisten because she’s being attacked.
Yet she doesn’t let herself be defeated just yet; she holds your gaze and tries to jab back. “I wonder if you will say the same thing in regards to him hurting more of your family? Or do you say this now because it benefits you?”
Your jaw clenches and your anger is quickly summoned, but you’re also quick to reel it back to respond with an icy demeanor that works to intimidate her more than your anger would.
“Have you ever been in love?” You catch her off guard with your question, and as you see that you give her a moment to collect herself and gather her thoughts.
Albeit her lips part and she doesn’t answer, her eyebrows knit together and she looks at you troubled, as if the question itself is physically tolling.
You see that so answer for her. “I will take that as a no, so I will explain it to you,” you continue with a hint of cockiness behind every word. “I tried hating Aemond, I did. I told him that, but…no matter what he did, I can’t muster myself to. I can’t even muster a smidge of hate. Even when I’m mad at him he’s such a relief to see, does that make me foolish? Maybe. Maybe I am foolish for loving someone who killed my brother, but…” you trail off and swallow back thickly.
“My heart sings for him, for every part of him. The bad parts, and especially the good ones. That’s what love is. It’s loving every part of them. It’s not about changing them to your will, you can guide them, and help them, but why would you want to change who they are? If you’re going to be with someone, it's because you love who they are. Why would you be with someone that you want to change?”
Alicent blinks repeatedly and tries hard to fight the tears brought by defeat and guilt.
“I see who Aemond is turning out to be,” you try to be understanding. “I see his anger, but don’t you see that he’s always been like that? Deep inside it’s who he is, who was made to be. And he’s not all bad, he just can’t express his desperation to keep his family safe, don’t you see that? He’s not only working for my son and me but for you and Helaena. So no…I won’t change him. I love him. I love who he is. I love all of him,” you say those last words tenderly and it almost works to convince her that it will all be fine, but you see it, she’s still scared of him, of who’s coming out of the shadows.
And maybe soon you will change your mind, he will do things that will make you change your mind, but right now you believe every word that comes out of your mouth. You love him with all of yourself. You love all of him.
“We’re at war, Alicent, we have to be ruthless. Us, more than anyone because we’re women. Learn that,” you offer her a piece of advice and take a deep breath before you walk away from her, catching Helaena approaching the Godswood.
“Your Grace,” you greet her and curtsy.
Helaena curtsy back. “Your Grace,” she says back with a tiny smile. “You are Regent now.”
You scoff in amusement and see her pass her focus to Alicent. “Mother,” she greets. “I hope I am not interrupting.”
You shake your head. “No, we just got done talking.”
Helaena hums and her eyes drift back to you. “I was hoping we could take a stroll to talk. Are you busy?”
You beam at her and shake your head. “Nope, the rest of my day is open, so I’m all yours,” you assure her and skip over to her to fall at her side and guide her away. Yet before she can walk with you she bids her mother a goodbye.
“I will see you later.”
Alicent offers her daughter a sweet smile and redirects a short goodbye, letting Helaena then give most of her attention to you, and little attention to where you walk. And it’s good that she does because the truth is, you don’t pay much mind to where you walk, you just walk with your shadows trailing behind you.
“Have you thought of any names for the twins?” Helaena wanders.
You clasp your hands behind you and sigh. “I have thought of them, but I am still indecisive.”
Helaena hums and then turns her head to look at you with excitement. “When I was expecting the twins I was really eager to think of names. I remember. So perhaps I can give you some ideas, like, Shiera, or Gael for girls and for boys maybe Laenor, like your father.”
You blink repeatedly and a sweet and tender smile spreads on your lips. “Yes, I think Laenor would be a perfect name…if I have a boy…you don’t happen to know do you?” You try and probe, making her look away and lose herself in the distance.
“No,” she says thoughtfully. “My dreams…well…I can’t really conjure up what to dream. Do you understand? It all just comes when it wants.”
You follow her line of gaze and hum in comprehension. “It must be heavy. Knowing so much stuff, I mean.”
Helaena blinks and her eyes fall to her hands. “Well…I have had them since I can remember, so the weight is not something I feel anymore.”
You look at her with slight pity, but she looks at you with a very faint smile. “But that’s why I like going on dragonback, I feel free in a lot of ways when I’m in the sky with Dreamfyre. That’s why I liked it when we went flying together. Will we be able to fly together soon, do you think?”
You see the hope clinging to her eyes. You see the desire to have something not tainted by this war. And it makes it hard to be honest, but you can’t lie either. “I hope so. I miss flying without worrying that I’ll hit the blockade, or run into armies of men ready to shoot down my dragon, or me,” you don’t avoid the truth, even as bleak as it sounds.
“Maybe once this war is over and we don’t have to worry about coming across angry people, then we can fly as freely as we want and land on a small Island where we can swim, and watch the sunset. Now that our children have dragons of their own,” you muse with a grin.
Yet Helaena fails to mirror that hopeful joy, or any joy at all, her eyes remain downcast, but this time a small frown curls on her lips and her eyebrows knit together.
“Are you…okay?” You press carefully, gaining her immediate attention as if caught by surprise.
“Yes,” she answers bluntly.
You search her gaze, but like many times before, you can’t read her. You wish you could, you wish you could know all that she knows but you also know that if you did your mind would collapse with all that knowledge, and it would probably cease to exist. So you leave it untouched and leave it up to her to share what she wants or deems significant.
Thus you move on to a peaceful silence you both don’t mind being wrapped in. There does come times when you comment something to each other, but it’s never heavy, it’s lighthearted to be able to escape from the wrath and find peace with each other.
There’s also never a sign of a grudge from her since you are Regent now. She actually thanks you for taking the attention away from her and says if she could, she would give you the title to return to her humble living as a princess. But she can’t do such a thing so she gives you her thanks instead and adds that she’s also grateful that she feels tranquil when you’re with each other, causing you to think that if you had a sister you would want her to be as gentle and sweet as Helaena.
Actually, Helaena is like a sister to you. She might be older than you, but she feels like a little sister you must protect at all costs. You want to shield her from this terrible world the same way you want to shield your little brothers.
She’s too fragile and good for this world, you want to protect her from that, but you also want her to fight, to grow thorns like a fragile rose so she’s not so easily plucked. But alas you know a lot of people can’t and aren’t like that and that’s okay too. You’ll protect her regardless, you’ll be the thorns to her rose. A fire a dragon breathes, and the sharp teeth they bear. Just for her.
——
*LATER*
Whilst on your stroll with Helaena, you found yourself near the roofs where Aemond and you would escape to when you were kids, where all you had at that moment was each other's company, and you couldn’t stop thinking of those sweet moments when everything was much more simple. Maybe that’s why later that same day you found yourself sitting on the roof watching the sun set so peacefully as if it doesn't hide tragedy on its horizon, and hoping that you could still grasp onto those simple times even if you know they’re nothing but a memory now.
“Aren’t you cold?” A soft voice cuts in through the chilly air. “With your back exposed like that?”
You must have summoned Aemond with your mind, or perhaps you just missed each other when you came up to the roofs and he went to your chambers.
“Beauty is pain,” you remark with a cheeky grin. “You of all people should know that. Tell me, how painful is it being so beautiful?” You lull out cheekily, and when you look over your shoulder you catch a rosy blush on his cheeks that makes you grin and feel accomplished.
“No, but really,” you scoff and look back at the bleeding sunset. “I don’t mind it much.”
“Is it that warm flesh of yours?” He quips but also wonders out of curiosity.
You sigh deeply and wait until he’s sitting by you before you shake your head. “No. I just don’t mind the cold because I prefer less constrictive gowns. Why?” You roll out and tilt your head to the side to look at him with a pressing gaze. “Am I exposing myself too much for your liking husband?”
Aemond rolls his eye but doesn’t actually argue to prove you wrong.
“It’s not like what I say will stop you from wearing what you like,” he mutters to the part of the sky that’s already littered with stars.
“Nope,” you deadpan. “And it doesn’t seem like you mind them much when you’re gawking at me.”
Aemond scoffs and you look over at him with a smirk twitching on your lips. He then slowly drifts his eyes over to you and a smirk flashes on his lips before he smiles shyly at the book that you barely notice on his lap.
“I find you beautiful in everything you wear,” he says, making you giggle and drop your head on his shoulder—“I just don’t like when other people gawk. Like my uncle.”
“Your uncle is older than my mother,” you comment. “And thinks he’s younger than he is…no offense or anything.”
Aemond doesn’t argue in his uncle's defense so you continue.
“Don’t worry about anyone. I will only have eyes for you, and I will only be yours,” you finish in a whisper.
Aemond remains quiet and just presses a kiss on the top of your head without moving his lips away after that moment. He keeps his lips and nose nuzzled against your head and now admires the same blazing horizon you do, going unaware of your current desire to grasp at some reminder of the simple times to relive them just for a little bit. You want to live back in those moments for a while, you long for it, but you also figure out that it’s something that you can’t fight to get back. You can only reminisce and live through what life has to offer you now.
“Aemond,” you whisper shakily and want to pull away to meet him in the eye, but you’re also afraid of what you’ll see, so you stay as you are and watch as the horizon gets distorted with tears that build in your eyes. “Are you scared…of me? Of what I can do?”
Right away he sees that any hesitation will make you doubt and make you question everything about yourself, so he answers right away without an ounce of deceit. “No, should I be?”
You shake your head lightly and whisper. “No. I don’t want you to be.”
“I’m not,” he presses so you can finally cement that in your heart and stop overthinking.
“Good,” you whisper that to yourself before you finally decide to touch on the unspoken subject. “I would have said something if I knew what I was, or why I can’t be hurt by fire. I’ve been trying to look into it, but I cannot find anything. I wanted to find what I could be before I told anyone so I didn’t seem mad. Do you understand?”
Aemond hums and lingers in his silence before he pulls away and pushes the book towards you. “It was one of my father's books Aegon had stashed.”
You look at Aemond with awe because that’s all that befalls you at that very moment as you come to realize that he’s been trying to read more into what you could be, or what could have led to you being immune to fire.
You didn’t even ask him to do it.
“I could not find much, I’m sure there’s something in Dragonstone, or somewhere lost in the world, but what I did find…” he continues to make your heart dance, and your love for him to grow. “…was that our Valyrian ancestors would practice blood magic in Old Valyria, I’m sure it came from something magic-related.”
You scoff and finally tear your eyes off him to look at the pages you flip through. “So I’m cursed?”
“No,” Aemond quickly scoffs and looks at the pages you’re going through. “You are not hurt by fire, I would not call that being cursed. I think it makes you special,” he speaks softly and full of fascination, and as soon as you catch that oozing off his voice you stop flipping through the pages and slowly look at him with relief, disbelief, and just utter awe that he doesn’t shame you and proves what you saw that night right.
He sees you. He knows you’re something so much more, something important and that can mean so much.
Albeit at this very moment he is averting your gaze out of timidness, proving Alicent’s fears wrong. He’s no monster, and it’s sad that she thinks that.
“You think so?” You still ask for reassurance.
Aemond’s gaze lingers on the page before he slowly meets your gaze with a soft smile and adoration that makes his blue eye soft and easy to get lost in. “I know it. I’m certain of it.”
Your heart flutters, causing your lips to tremble as happy tears fill your eyes.
Sure perhaps if you confided in your mother or someone else you trust they too would say a variation of the same thing, but there’s something about not having to tell Aemond, about him discovering it for himself that makes this so much more special, and so much more tender. If only you knew what was really rushing through his mind, you would have probably collapsed or had some heart attack.
And he wants to tell you every feeling that’s making his heart mad with more love and lust, but he keeps it all in to avoid sounding mad to you. He doesn’t want you to think he’s mad, even if you probably wouldn’t, he doesn’t tell you how special you both are because he rides the largest dragon and you have fire-made flesh.
You both are Regents now too. You are both ruthless, you are both called for greater deeds, you both are greater than those below you, and you are one in the same now. He used to think that before but now…now you are one.
That’s what he thinks…
“I’m glad you think so,” you mumble and reach your hand over to cup his jaw and caress his cheek with your thumb as you just relish in how grateful you are that he understands and that he looks at you with admiration and love rather than fear.
“And thank you for trying to look for an answer,” you add. “It means a lot.”
He brings his hand up to cup yours and caresses your knuckles while he just stares at you in awe.
“You are special,” he makes it clear to you and your dancing heart swooning for him. “You always have been special to me.”
You lean in but don’t press your lips against his right away. You stop to smile in relief first before you close that distance with a slow and passionate kiss that you both find sync in quickly and move like you’re starving for each other's taste.
It’s no wonder why you came out with a child 4 months after having your first son. Neither of you can keep your hands off each other, or keep your lips from molding into each other. And now with you both being regent and the discovery of this gift, you find a new and hotter vigor for each other.
Yet neither of you get carried away right then at that moment. You pull away after a while to catch your breaths and press your forehead against his to avoid losing contact.
Rather than basking in the silence that the night has to offer on the roofs, you find words to share through your heavy breaths. “Will you let me fight now? I don’t want to be sitting here waiting to hear news. I want…I want to fight on my dragon. I don’t have to fight on the ground, just let me be on Astraea. We can help. Please,” you beg and stroke his cheek.
Aemond licks his lips and peels away to meet your waiting gaze. He parts his lips, but nothing comes out but hesitation that you quickly rebuttal
“At least when we’re together then,” you try to lure him to agree. “So you can be there if anything does happen. Please. I won’t get burnt, you know that. I will wear armor. And Astraea will keep me safe.”
Aemond’s eye drifts down to your belly, so you grab his hand and press it against you. “We will be fine,” you insist. “I will be fine.”
Aemond looks up at you and clenches his jaw as he stares hard, but after a while, he sighs and gives you his answer. “Fine.”
You flash him a beaming grin before you throw your arms around him and thank him by whispering in his ear over and over again.
“Any sign of any greater danger and you’re out do you understand?” He makes sure to let you know harshly. “I will throw you over my shoulder or have you taken like you’re captive, do you understand? I am not risking your life.”
You chuckle and pull your head back but keep your arms wrapped around him to assure him. “I understand.”
Aemond groans and you give him a peck on his lips and mutter against them. “<I love you.>”
Aemond holds your gaze and pouts with discontent because you just completely defeated him, but you don't care, you brush him off to steal another kiss from him, causing him to pull away.
You ignore his frustration and flash him a smug smile before you push the book away to shift around and lay on your back with your head on his lap to be able to look up at the stars that paint the night sky. Now you know that you can’t stay up here forever, no matter how much you want to avoid this war, but there’s nothing wrong with stealing a moment for yourselves under the twinkling stars, and the bright full moon.
“I’m here,” you start to reminisce. “And I can’t help but think about how I wanted to escape. How I wanted to be somewhere else…” you trail off and Aemond rests his hand on your arm that you sling over your chest. “And if you told me that you wanted to leave right now, I would grab Aerion and I would leave with you,” you admit, making him steal a glance at you.
“But,” you add. “I like to think I have matured out of that desperate desire.”
There’s nothing Aemond can really say in response, there’s nothing you want him to say so you appreciate his silence before you finally tear your eyes away from the stars that kept you captive, and look at him with a hint of sadness, but also like you’re somewhere far.
“Do you want to know what else I dreamed about when I would find myself alone here…or anywhere?”
Aemond hums to probe so you do just that, you continue softly, ever so feathery, enchantingly so. “I would dream of being Queen.”
It’s something you knew you wanted. It’s something he knew you almost had.
it was there at your reach, but it was taken away. You have never admitted it to him, your deepest desire until now. “I wanted the power,” you say like you’re reciting the most beautiful poem. “Did that make me selfish? Power-hungry? No, I never thought of it that way because I deserved it.” You nod softly and he looks deep into your soul with a softening gaze. “It was my destiny. I wanted to be like Good Queen Alysanne, like Queen Rhaenys the Conqueror. I dreamt of it, I pictured myself as Queen. I wanted to be good, I imagined I would be even though it could never be mine.”
You sigh shakily and look up at the sky as if you’re searching for that dream again amongst the stars.
“As I got older that desire turned to anger and resentment, but I was taught not to be angry about it and many things. And I was never angry at my mother or my brother, I was angry at the people who said that I couldn’t have it. I am still angry to this day. It’s deep inside me, but I still am because they took it,” you sneer but not with a loud rage, you are still soft-spoken, like you’re more sad than angry.
“And they made me feel weak,” you say between a grimace and a tremble in your voice, which Aemond catches. He catches every emotion, he’s captivated by every word and stuck on the tears that roll down your cheeks.
“They made me feel like I didn’t belong,” you continue. “Because if I’m the oldest and not my mother's heir then why? Why am I here? They…made me feel like I needed to prove myself to be something every day of my life…” you trail off and he finds tears creeping in his eye too. He finds that his throat stings because he felt what you did too when he had no dragon. Even now when he does, that need to prove himself still lingers just like it does in you.
“I understand,” he admits above a whisper, pulling your teary eyes back to him to look deep into his soul that cries as it feels understood, and as you prove to him that you are one in the same. That you were always meant to burn together—“I understand the feeling.”
You sit up and cup his cheek to wipe away his stray tear, and he mirrors your actions to wipe away the tears that roll down your own cheeks.
“But now I ride the biggest dragon,” he continues with a ferocity that he was quick to find. “And you,” he muses. “You are not hurt by fire. You are unburnt. We are Regents. We have the power, we do not need to prove anything to anyone. Not anymore. The world is ours now. We don’t have to be belittled by it anymore.”
You offer him an admiring smile and shake your head. “I don’t need the world to be mine,” you confess. “I have you, Aerion, my dragon, and the twins. That’s all I need. I am content. That’s my fight now. The power as Regent is an added bonus, I like it and if I were to have more I would make the most of it, but I am content now with you, and the little blessing you gave me.”
Aemond parts his lips, but he’s at a loss for words. All he can continue doing is admire you; your divine beauty, the sweet smile on your perfect lips, the tears that still trail down your perfectly sculpted face, and the love and awe in your eyes that make them gleam beautifully.
He really wants to say something, but he’s left knowing that all that he is, all that he wants to be, and all that he wanted to be, exists there with you.
He exists only for you, for his son, for his mother and sister, but you hold a special place in his heart because you continue to see him. You understand his conflicted soul more than anyone and he appreciates that understanding, and thanks it with kisses, with deep and passionate kisses that lead to neither of you wanting to part. They engulf you both with desire that takes you back to your chambers where you demand to be alone even if that sends your son away to different chambers.
Your passion drives you mad with lust and with the need to please each other in different ways. Your heated passion leaves you unsatisfied after one round and makes you want more and more until you're both exhausted, but completely full and happily satisfied.
Sleep came to be quite minimal after. Your days start earlier now, but you both found yourselves awake so you filled the silence while you waited for the day to get started for you.
He mostly complained though, but you don’t mind. You like that he shares his complaints with you.
“Lord Jason is just scared, it’s normal,” you try to ease the crease that forms between his brows. “He’s never fought a war, he’s scared.”
Aemond shakes his head and parts his lips to argue but you cut him off to get your point across. “With that said, am I excusing how lazy he’s being? No. He’s being too lenient and not taking it as seriously as he should. The boost in power has gotten to his head.”
Aemond sighs deeply and mutters. “He's only head of the army because of his brother, I would have chosen someone else for the job, someone who doesn’t need me to go to his rescue to get the job done sooner.”
You stop tracing circles on the mattress and snicker before you tilt your head up to steal a glance at Aemond. “I hear he’s taken lions with him,” you add with a teasing smile growing on your lips. “What exactly are they supposed to do?”
Aemond crosses his arms over his bare chest and mutters. “They want to be like us. They want to rule the land because they see we rule the sky.”
You shift your head down on your palm and giggle. “Them and their golden lions are funny. They believe their golden lions are like our dragons, but they can’t stand on the clouds, they roll in the dirt and call those clouds.”
Aemond chuckles, and as you lay on your side with your head resting on your propped-up hand, you slide your hand over his torso. “With a lion, if you turn your back, they dig their claws in you, no matter how long you’ve raised them. With dragons, you bond with them and they will forever be bound to your soul, they are a part of your soul. So no matter how hard they all try, no house will ever reach us as long as our dragons live.”
Aemond hums, and you press your fingers on his torso before you slide them over and look up with a slightly narrowed look. “That’s why you need to remind this Lord Lion that he’s no one to be ordering you or anyone else around. If he’s a coward who needs a security blanket to fight then tell him you will find someone else who can.”
“And if Daemon does decide to meet them in battle?” Aemond does let you hear some of his doubt, and as possible as it is, you doubt he will. At least you hope he won’t, there’s other battles to fight with Caraxes, it doesn’t seem like he’d be bothered to fight against Lord Jason unless they’re desperate or want an easy win.
“Then he meets them, but I doubt that Daemon will bother to fight any Lannister army. If it was Ser Criston then yes, I would say you should worry, but it’s not, so I would not give it a second thought. He'll send another army to fight for him.”
Aemond nods gently in comprehension and you stare at him for a lingering moment with a growing smile before you climb up the bed to be face to face. “Will you miss me at today's small council meeting?”
Aemond lazily hangs his arm over your waist and glances down at your lips. “Well, I’ll have to be stuck staring at old men and toads so yes.”
You laugh and query. “Toads?”
“Lord Larys.”
You snort and smack his shoulder. “That’s…true,” you wanted to say it was rude but as you think about it now it’s true. “Well,” you roll out and scale your fingers up to caress his chest. “If you ever miss me throughout the day just come to our quarters I’ll be here all day getting my braids done.”
Aemond huffs softly and can’t help but cup your cheek, the same cheek that bears the scar he made six years ago, and hovers his thumb over the scar before he gently trails it.
“Just remember,” you speak softly and grab his hand. “Clear mind Aemond. Don’t let your anger blind you. I know sometimes the men around you can be irritating and all you want to do is lash out, but anger doesn’t work in this situation. It doesn’t work when it comes to planning, okay? Clear mind and hold your anger back for this, hm?”
Aemond doesn’t say anything in return, he just presses a kiss on the heel of your hand and you take that as a comprehensive response.
Not so much later Vanessa, Aerion’s wetnurse, and servants barge in and your lax morning is upturned to a rowdy morning and you know your day has kickstarted. No more rest, and there’s only a little privacy while you break fast, but that serenity is cut short soon thereafter by Aerion crying. At least this morning you could stomach—or the twins felt like letting you eat so you really take that as a positive first step of a good day. Or as good as a day can be nowadays.
Can you say the rest of the day you're going through is bad? No, mostly because when you’re in your chambers sometimes it feels like the day passes over you. The news doesn’t come to you right away, and since you aren’t going out of your way to seek it you have to wait for it to come to you. You live in a little bubble when days like today are spent surrounded by the four walls of your quarters. Do you mind it?
Not today. You enjoy basking in the obliviousness, you enjoy the escape, the serenity as Vanessa takes her time to carefully braid your white hair whilst you pass golden cuffs, and pearls that hang from rings so she can put them in your hair.
She doesn’t tug too harshly, she’s gentle, slow, and very intricate with each braid, and each placement of the pearls, and the cuffs, that you could fall asleep. Actually, sometimes you do find yourself dozing off while you’re reading, but mostly you sit in the serenity that obliviousness brings.
“Perhaps soon I can wear that gown from Yi-Ti, the sea green one that looks blue under certain lights?” You ask for an opinion. “That one is my favorite because of the black chest piece that comes with the cloak. It’s very…exquisite, and the embroidery on the sleeves and all the golden accessories it comes with,” you swoon. “I wish I lived there, I would need a castle just for my wardrobe!”
“You should see how they dress when the summer is at its peak,” Ser Jason cuts into the conversation. “The silks are truly…silk.”
You snort and look at him through the mirror as he puts down books you needed from the library, but couldn't get at this very moment.
“You’ve been to Yi-Ti?” You muse and get tempted to turn around, but Vanessa would scold you for moving so you just stare at the knight in awe and envy.
Ser Jason’s eyes flicker to the ground and he hesitates before he nods gently. “Yes, not long, but I’ve been at the peak of summer.”
Your smile slowly grows to a grin and you probe because that’s all you can do. “Is it as they say? Is it really so beautiful? Are there golden castles?”
Ser Jason chuckles and shakes his head as he keeps avoiding eye contact and stands incredibly still. “No, those are just tall tales, but they do have a lot of gold. Statues, the peak of roofs, and tapestries lined with beautiful golden threads that almost look like rich gold. And the food,” he sighs as if recalling the taste in his mouth.
“It’s otherworldly,” you let him keep filling your head with tales of his life, a life you wish you could live just to see those wonders he got to see with his own eyes. “I…I would love to describe it, but there’s truly no words I could use to describe how all those flavors dance on one's tongue.”
You nod gently and hope for more, but he looks at you through the mirror and falters. That confidence he garnered to speak of those marvels is lost and he’s reverted back to his stammering and timidness. “Of course, you…you should go witness it all for yourself. You would love it.”
That wonder twinkling in your eyes dims and your smile is not as sweet. “It’s easier said than done sadly. I have jewelry with rare gems from Yi-Ti, I have gowns made with their rich fabrics and designed by their creative minds, but that’s how far I go.”
“You'd think with all the money and privilege you wouldn’t let them tell you how to live your life,” he dares to say, causing your second sworn protector to peek his head inside after what he overheard, while you and Vanessa stiffen and look at the sudden bold knight.
“One would think,” you hit back and catch his eyes widening in shock as if he did not actually expect you to respond, or as if shocked about what came out of his mouth is true.
“But I am a woman, a princess, and the only daughter of a queen, my life has been planned since the moment I was born,” your voice goes hard and cold while your eyes express the same bitterness. “Stories and dreams are as far as I go.”
Ser Jason blinks repeatedly as his mouth is left agape. “I know women with just as much who left it all behind to find a lot more riches in accomplishing their dreams.”
Your eyes flicker to a glare, but tears break through as you slowly come to realize that all you have is dreams of grand places and grand adventures. There’s nothing you can do but dream again. He returns that cruel reminder to your mind.
“Thank you, Ser,” you dismiss him and avert your gaze so you don’t know how he reacts, you just know Ser Cane Clegane steps in to watch the knight walk out before closing the door and leaving Vanessa and you alone once again. Now though the serenity you once relished is a dream too.
“Princess,” Vanessa whispers with traces of pity, so you quickly shut her down.
“I’ve been meaning to ask about the plans Mysaria sent?” You abruptly change the subject to something you did not want to touch just yet but have to now. “Are they ready?”
Vanessa glances back and makes sure the door is closed before she stops braiding your hair and leans down to whisper. “All done. The food will be sent later tonight and should arrive in the morrow.”
Food. That’s the plan your mother has so far. It’s an excellent plan in response to all the hungry smallfolk just wanting food but getting scraps or worse from their King, and Regent.
The smallfolk will know who to thank and start to look at your mother with hope for a change, which means they will do as she wants and gain their love and support.
“We will make sure to keep away from the city tomorrow then,” you say and watch Vanessa back up to continue doing what she was doing. “It will be chaos.”
She hums and only seconds later the doors get thrown open and in comes your beloved husband in a huff.
“What is it?” You ask right away as you notice his nose is flared and his jaw is clenched.
He doesn’t look injured so it doesn’t seem like he got hurt at the training yard or anywhere else for that matter. He looks pissed though, so something is bothering him.
“It’s,” he heaves. “Aegon. He’s awoken.”
You blink in disbelief. “But,” you shake your head. “The maester said there was little chance he would wake.”
Aemond lets out a heavy breath and walks up to your vanity to lean against it so you’re able to face him and his contorted face.
“So he said, but…it seems my brother beat the odds. He fought for once,” he grumbles and drops his glare on his fiddling hands, so you give Vanessa a break before you lean forward and place your hands over Aemond’s cold but soft hands.
“He still can’t walk, or probably stay awake for that long for that matter,” you try to make his mind clear of all the thoughts rushing behind his eye and clouding his mind. “He won’t be that competent.”
Aemond watches his thumb brush over your fingers and whispers. “And what he did to you while I was away? Does he get away with that?”
You secure your hold on his hand and pull his gaze to you, letting you offer him an assuring smile. “He won’t be as he was ever again. That’s enough justice.”
Yet you aren’t completely satisfied yet, but that’s something Aemond can’t fulfill. You have to. You will.
“Is it?” He asks as if he can read the thoughts in your mind.
You offer him a small but assuring nod that he takes to heart. “It is.” You try to assure him, but neither him nor you are left satisfied. Yet that’s not something either of you share, you just individually know you will selfishly reach for that piece of justice yourselves because you won’t be left savoring even a piece of it.
——
*LATER*
Aemond has been caught up handling some business you don’t care about so you take advantage of being left alone and go visit your King, since he’s awake now. What a miracle!
You just want to check on him, on his wounds and mental state. You want to give him your best wishes so he can have a quick recovery. That’s all.
You tell that to his Kingsguard protecting his chambers, but it’s not like they had any say in letting you in or not. They’re hesitant, they make excuses that he’s going to take milk of the poppy and fall asleep again, but you don’t care. You walk in with your long beautiful gown flowing behind you, and a golden candle handler in your hand to light your way.
Oh, and when you walk in you don’t forget to continue humming a haunting and menacing song that sends a chill down the spines of the servants and the Maesters tending to Aegon, while the king himself is confused. One could say he felt like he was dreaming, your humming was faint at first, but the haunting melody still managed to swirl in his ear. Even as your silhouette was beginning to get conjured up on the curtains covering his bed, he did not expect you to appear out of your own will.
Thus when the sheer curtains are slowly pulled to the side and you appear there like some haunting ghost, he still does not think you're real.
“Leave us,” you cut your humming off to demand the maesters and the servant girls away.
“But—” a maester tries to argue, but you snap your eyes to him and shoot him a menacing glare that shuts him up and makes him bow his head.
“I will give him the milk of the poppy,” you add to reassure the maester while you return your eyes to Aegon.
Once you know that the maesters and the servant girls are gone, you start humming again, but this time much more softer than before, making Aegon more convinced that you’re haunting his dreams.
He does watch you walk to him slowly with your eyes fixated on his flared scars still red and raw, but all he knows for sure is that his breathing is picking up while goosebumps crawl down his spine as he also feels captivated. Even more so when you come to a stop just under the moonlight that reflects inside his quarters.
The bright light completely captures you in its soft hue. It makes the golden cuffs, and the golden rings holding the pearls in your hair, glimmer, while your long silver-white hair itself almost gleams like thousands of pristine diamonds. And perhaps that's your only intention, just presenting yourself, he doesn’t know. He doesn’t know if you intend to smile at him either, but you do and his chambers now are completely silent, striking more fear to his heart.
Yet he still thinks he’s dreaming.
“Did it hurt?” You fill the silence with your question and study the part of his face that now is forever scared because of the dragonfire that feasted on his flesh.
“I have always wondered,” you continue in a sweet voice while you tilt your head up just slightly to look at the bald spot that now leaves part of his head naked. “I can gladly say that I have never been hurt by fire,” you reveal and bring your eyes back down to meet his gaze while you let your fingers graze the flames that you hold on your candles.
“I have never winced at the touch of candle fire, boiling water has never scolded my skin or my tongue. And never have I once been bothered by hearths or pyres whose flame grows too wild. So,” you roll out and take a seat beside him on the bed. “I always have wondered what it’s like to feel hurt by fire like you were.”
A smirk tugs on your lips and he realizes at this instant as the candlelight shows off your smirk, that this is no dream. You’re actually at his bedside looking at him the same way Aemond looked at him earlier today, like Aegon was nothing, like he wasn’t still king. You're looking at him as if was pathetic and nothing but someone to take pity on; he can see those thoughts playing behind your eyes and on the corner of your lips.
You were sitting, but you now cast a shadow over him that made his cower. The same way he made you feel not long ago when he visited your chambers while Aemond was gone.
But that was your intention, that’s why you’re here. You have the power now, it doesn’t matter if he’s king. You have the power and he knows it, he sees that darkness in your eyes the same way he saw it in Aemond’s eye.
“I would say it’s like drowning. You have that need to fight to survive, but,” you click your tongue and lean towards him, making him swallow back nervously and attempt to scoot away, but to no avail. He can’t move a muscle. “When the fire is eating away at your flesh I can’t imagine you can move all that much. You must be paralyzed, cut away from every message your head sends to your screaming muscles, hoping that your adrenaline can be your salvation, but all it can do is give you the power to cry and scream out your pain. Is that right, Aegon?” You direct the question at him and look at him not with curiosity but with a mocking look.
“Le…”
“Ah-ah,” you click your tongue and drag yourself closer to him to shush him. “Don’t waste your energy. It’s okay.”
You flash him another smile and hold his gaze as you push the melting candles toward his already scarred flesh, making him gasp and start to heave.
“I just want to see,” you mutter. “Maybe hear you whimper just a little to know what it’s like, you know? Live it through someone else.” You chuckle.
“Crazy bitch,” he manages to say and you slowly grin and manage to get the flames close to his skin, to the point the heat stings. Yet before the fire can actually give him a peck you pull the candles away and just keep smiling at him.
“It was a jest,” you giggle and slither your fingers up to play with the flames. “Laugh. You like jests don’t you?”
He wants to curl his lips to a scowl, but his lips just twitch in some feeble attempt.
“Hm. Well, that’s all,” you end his torture and push yourself to your feet.
Before you can walk out though, you put the candle stand down on the bedside table and grab the milk of the poppy.
“Oh! I almost forgot,” you interject and twirl around. “You are going to be an uncle to twins, is that not great? We’re hoping for girls now since we have our boy…” you trail off and lean towards him to bring the milk of the poppy to his lips. “…our heir.”
Aegon lips part to attempt to argue, but you take that as a need for his sedative, so you bring the cup to his lips and help him drink the milk of the poppy. Once the cup is empty you pull away and replace it with the candle stand.
“Goodnight, Aegon. Sweet dreams,” you tease and twirl back around to leave his chambers, but not without continuing to hum your haunting song that you make sure to travel with until you know that the king or his guards will hear you. After you put some distance and your humming doesn’t echo in their ears anymore you return to the safety of your chambers in silence.
After that, you hoped not to run into Aemond, or find him in your chambers. You just don’t want to be bombarded with questions, that’s all.
Nevertheless, luckily Aemond doesn’t join you in your shared quarters until several minutes later, so you’re spared. And since you were donning your nightgown by the time he walked in he didn’t even know you had just returned either, so unknowingly both of your visits to Aegon are unspoken of, you just individually relish in the torment you gave him. Which honestly doesn’t paint you as the most sane couple or people at all, but at least now your hunger for justice is satisfied.
That’s what lets you both actually find a peaceful sleep, that little win.
Little wins are all the rage in times like now, so you cherish them. Even if they’re small and insignificant. Even if they have nothing to do with war and battle and have everything to do with your day-to-day lives, you cherish them. You cherish good mornings too, simple ones.
Happiness is even simple when you’re not taking it for granted, and when you know where to find it, like, waking up and having Aemond lay his head on your belly in an attempt to be closer to the twins, or in Aerion tugging at Aemond’s hair and fighting him to actually copy his father and lay on you instead since he understands more now that he’s 5 months old.
You can find happiness in Aemond’s faint proud smiles as he hears his son try and talk to him. In gentle kisses and sweet compliments he passes you, or something minimal like agreeing on something at the Small Council meetings which in turn overshadows the men around the table. You can even find happiness after the meetings in matters such as names for the babes that still have a ways to go before they’re born.
Does he raise a complaint though? No. He’s not needed at this precise moment so he lets you steal his time.
“If they’re boys, Aemon,” you say right away and make him blink with surprise. “Like his father. Just without the last letter so it’s not confusing.”
The corner of his lips tugs wider as he lets out an amused huff.
“And the second boy's name…well…”
“Maegor?” Aemond tries to end your sentence, but you glare at him and shake your head.
“No!” You chuckle. “No, I am not naming our son Maegor. Do you want the gods to spite us?” You ask the question in a whisper in the fear that the gods will hear you saying such a name.
Aemond snickers and leans forward to press his hand on either side of your lap as you sit on the edge of the table, and he sits in his chair. “You believe that to be true? It’s just talk.”
You scoff and shake your head again to get your point across. “Talk or not, I will not leave it to chance. Not when it comes to our children.”
Aemond hums and you slowly lower your gaze to bring up the name Helaena suggested, one you want. “What about Laenor?”
You feel his stare weighing down on you, but you can’t look him in the eye out of fear of rejection.
“My father was always good to you. We would go fishing together, and he would take you sailing with us…I do not know if you want,” you bring up different cases to try and convince him because you know how Alicent and those of the court viewed your father.
“All right,” Aemond doesn’t take time to think about it, he gives in and you slowly trail your eyes up to meet his gaze with relief and happiness.
“Really?” You query.
Aemond nods and you flash him a joyous smile.
“But,” he interjects and sits back with a lighthearted smile. “What if they’re girls or one of the other?”
You flash him a smirk and lean back on your hands. “Well, we have our first name…”
“Daenys,” you both say at the same time and you nod excitedly and beam at him.
He hums with a smile playing on his lips and you tilt your head to the side to share the other name. “And the second, Naerys. Or Daenerys. You can choose.”
“They’re the same thing,” he mutters and you scoff and lean towards him.
“No! No, they're different. Completely! But you can choose between the two.”
He rolls his eye and quips. “How generous of you.”
You shrug innocently. “I’ll even let you choose between all four if we get a boy and girl, hm? So pick!”
He hums and taps his fingers on the chair's armrest before he takes a deep breath and shares his choice. “Daenerys and Aemon.”
A pang of pain hits your heart and your smile falls, he watches you with a serious look that shows he’s being serious, so you sit up and look at him as if the answer actually hurt you. “What?” You mutter in disbelief. “But, my love.”
He raises an eyebrow and remarks. “You gave me the freedom to choose the name of our children. I chose.” He says and leaves his lips pouted as he waits for your argument.
But he is right…
“Well,” you grumble without hiding your disapproval. “Fine,” you deadpan and look down to fiddle with a gold bead that’s embroidered on your gown.
Aemond tilts his head to try and find your eyes but you keep turning your head further down so you miss the smirk that tugs on his lips as he sees you pout.
“It was jest,” he clarifies as he stifles his laugh, and leans forward to press his fists on the table.
You raise your head and snap your glare at him. “Ha. It was not funny.”
He snickers and you nudge his shoulder. “Daenys has been my top choice since we were kids. You know that.”
He grins and nods. “I remember. You bugged me about it hundreds of times.”
“Exactly,” you press with your eyebrows raised. “So?”
He unfurls his fists and slides his hand on your thigh to rub it with the gentlest touch. “Daenys and Aemon,” he now gives his honest choices.
You nod and can’t help but throw your arms around his neck since he’s already so close, and glance at his lips, but manage not to give into your temptation, instead you smirk and whisper. “Do you think Daenys and Aemon will get into as much trouble as we did?”
He gently slides his hand up your thigh before he swings his arm around your waist and quips. “You got in trouble, not me. I was there to try and get you out of trouble, or danger.”
The corner of your lips spread up and bliss glimmers in your eyes. “Okay, but you did not discourage me.”
He narrows his gaze and counters. “I did, many times. You did not listen.”
You giggle and loll your head to the side, making his eyes follow your lips moving before he flickers his gaze back up.
“Well then Daenys and Aemon will learn to be better at avoiding trouble,” you rebuttal, making him scoff and not hold back anymore. He leans in for the kiss and you let him mold his lips into yours while you wrap your arms around his neck.
As he deepens the kiss he trails his hand away from your waist and agonizingly slowly drifts his hand down your hips, and then down the length of your thigh to hike your skirt up and slither his hand under to now slide his warm palm up your thigh, leaving a blazing trail that makes you press yourself closer to him to the point your chests meet with all the breaths you take.
You want him to touch you where your body aches for him the most, but he instead grabs your hips with both hands and with a swift and fluid motion slides you off the edge of the table to make you straddle his hips.
“Aemond,” you chuckle between heavy breaths, and he responds with a cheeky smirk before closing the small gap between your lips as if it were impossible to live for a second longer without the taste of your lips.
Yet no matter how hot your passion blazes, that is suddenly snuffed out by a knock on the door. Which you should’ve seen coming, you are in the Small Council chambers, but that doesn’t matter to Aemond, he still gets frustrated.
“What?” He seethes.
You can’t help your cocky smirk before you lean in and bite his bottom lip before moving over to sit on his lap to wait and watch who dared cut into your private moment.
When the intruder walks in though you see that it’s Ser Jason.
“Forgive me for interrupting,” he offers his condolences right away with a bow of his head. “I just received news,” he shares and brings his head up to display an almost terrified look. “A riot has started in the city where the Great Sept is, and Queen Helaena and the Dowager Queen are caught within.”
Your heart drops to your stomach and while you digest the news, Aemond basically rips away from his seat to try and go out to save them himself. However, no matter how rageful he is, or his thirst for blood, neither him nor you are allowed to run to their aid.
The smallfolk are angry, your mother and Mysaria’s plan worked. The smallfolk got the message that they were trying to get across and now they want an answer, justice for not getting treated right by the King ruling over them, the King who is supposed to feed them. And they have every right to be upset, to demand an answer for how poorly they’ve all been treated, but to take it out on Helaena? That’s something you can’t accept, that’s something that doesn’t sit right with you.
If only you had known that they planned to go to the city today, and you could’ve come up with some quick excuse to keep them inside. Anything to keep them from entering the wrath of the Smallfolk after they got the food from your mother. But you did not know, and now you can’t do anything to help Helaena but watch from a tall tower as a sea of people rush through the streets. All you’re left to do is wait, and hope that the Kingsguard can do their job, while your mind conjures up violent scenarios in response to your distress and…guilt.
Nevertheless, in response to your helplessness, and the panic that makes you breathe heavily, Astraea surprises you by flying over the tall tower Aemond and you stand on, and flying down, casting a large shadow over the streets of the city as she directs herself to the Great Sept, without as much as you needing to tell her a word.
And since she is large and her purple scales stand out against the sun, you see her swoop down on a building near the Great Sept. Albeit since you can't see what she sees, you miss the fact that she was quick to find Helaena and Alicent. You miss the warning shouts from the people who had caught her flying over in a hurry, but thanks to the calamity no one paid attention to the warnings, no pair of angry eyes caught even a glimpse of the purple dragon until her shadow cast over the crowd trying to tear at Alicent and Helaena.
Even then it's too late because by the time she lands on the edge of a building, Helaena and Alicent have been pushed against, Astraea is quick to react in defense of Helaena; the person your heart is crying over at the moment, the person you hope and pray is okay, and the person you love with all your heart.
There’s no doubt she’s there defending her because even from the tower Aemond and you stand on in the Red Keep, Astraea’s rageful roar is heard. And from where Helaena and Alicent are, her roar rattles the foundations of the buildings, it shakes the pebbles on the ground, and sets fear in the people who were just brave enough to go after the Queen and her mother.
Now those people who ran at the Queen, run away from the dragon ducking her neck and head down to shield her from any incoming danger. When someone ballsy enough tries to take a step close to Helaena, Astraea begins to snarl before she opens her mouth and snaps at them, coming close to actually taking a bite, but not managing to scrape them.
She just wanted to scare them, she wouldn’t actually bite anyone unless provoked by someone. She just has her guard up and is being protective. And she doesn’t lose that fierce need, she continues to bear her teeth until she spots Alicent rushing Helaena to the wheelhouse. After that Astraea hovers above the wheelhouse and doesn't part from them until she sees them go past the Red Keep gates because that’s the only time that you actually find relief.
After that Astraea circles the castle until you’re inside tending to a distressed Helaena, while her mother gets tended to as well, albeit she actually ended up getting cut, Helaena is just shaken up and a bit dirty, that’s all, but you still help her as you swallow back your guilt.
After all, you can’t control the Smallfolk, you can’t control their emotions. You just wish you would have known Alicent wanted to take Helaena into the city. That’s all.
“Do you want to know something?” You ask Helaena.
She hums and you share your thoughts while you wipe away the dirt her face collected in that riot. “I admire you for having twins. You were young too, I can’t imagine it was easy. I don’t know how you did it.”
Helaena’s eyes flicker to you and she looks at you seriously before she interjects bluntly. “I just had them.”
You stop what you’re doing and drop your gaze to look at her with slight disbelief before you snort softly and move behind her to undo her messed-up braids.
“I…will have to go thank Astraea,” Helaena speaks up much to your surprise, since up until now it was you who was trying to make conversation. “She protected me and my mother.”
You smile proudly. “We can go after this, how about that? She should be nestled up by the cove.”
Helaena nods gently, and the door proceeds to open, causing Helaena to ball her hands, and grow stiff after having a very hard time relaxing. Which is why you get ready to kick the intruder out, but you then come to see Aemond striding in.
“What is it? Have the rest of the Kingsguard returned?” You can’t help but ask as you grab the brush from the small table.
“All but one,” he says as he looks down at his sister unable to find that peace once again.
“Did you find out what exactly happened?” You act clueless whilst you start brushing Helaena’s hair. “What started the riot?”
Aemond walks over and chooses to lean against the couch to be able to occasionally meet your gaze when you’re not focusing on what you’re doing.
“It was Rhaenyra,” he says, causing chills to crawl down your spine at the sound of your mother’s name coming out of his mouth out of slight fear he will reveal that he knows the letters you have been sending her— “she sent food in boats which in turn made the people get mad at us. As if we’re the ones holding the blockade.”
You don’t give any other reactions besides comprehension and feigned disbelief, as if this is the first time hearing about your mother’s malicious plans.
“Well,” you sigh and pretend to breathe out a stressed-out breath at the mention of your mother. “We are the crown. We’re supposed to be taking care of them. How would you react if you could not feed your son because the people who are meant to protect you aren’t doing anything to break that blockade or feed them?”
Aemond’s gaze hardens, but you don’t back down, you challenge him and press your point so he can understand where their anger is coming from.
“They’re desperate, angry, and what my mother sent only fueled them to act out in the only way they would be heard,” you argue in their defense, making Aemond drop his head and shake it in disapproval.
“We’re trying,” he snaps and hastily brings his eye up, but you’re focused on brushing Helaena’s long hair so you just feel his burning glare.
“They do not know that,” you rebuttal. “We know that here, but they do not. Look I am not telling you what to do Aemond, I am just trying to make you see why they reacted the way they did.”
He hums and you finally drift your eyes up and watch him lose his gaze on the ground to try and collect all his thoughts on the matter and on what you just told him.
“I’m all done Helaena,” you direct your attention back to her and back away to give her space. “Why don’t you change into something different, finish your tea and when you’re done, or when you want, we can go see Astraea, hm?”
Helaena nods while you walk around her to face her with a gentle smile. “You’re okay now, okay? No one is going to hurt you here.”
Her distant blue eyes meet yours and you see her fear still clinging onto her, so you attempt your best to try and rid her of that agonizing fear. But you’re also careful, you know how she is, you know she doesn’t really like being touched, nor does she tolerate any loud noises. You also know she’s still rattled and a bit paranoid that the chaos will find her in her chambers, so you’re slow as you crouch to not trigger her. You let her know in a whisper that you’re going to grab her hands before you cradle them.
“You’re okay,” you make sure to say in a gentle and caring voice so she can feel assured, so she knows that you do care about her wellbeing.
“I know,” she nods stiffly and turns your hands around to study your palms for a moment before her thumb hovers over the ice burn you carry and reminds you of what you left behind.
“I will only leave until you assure me you’re fine,” you tell her.
She draws in a deep breath while stealing a glance at her brother behind you who is paying close attention to the gentle way you’re caring for her sister. He would say perhaps you’re coddling her too much considering her age, but he also appreciates that you don’t shame her for not being the fighting type. He likes that you’re so doting and sweet with Helaena.
While Helaena herself catches that appreciation in his eye as you hold his attention captive, and wonders how you must feel that he can’t share even an ounce of care for your own siblings. She actually wonders a lot about you when you plague her dreams, she wants to tell you all that she sees about you, you and Aemond, you and…your future, but her words don’t come easy, so she’s left silent and just staring hoping that somehow someone can read what she’s thinking.
She wishes you could see that she is indeed fine, but that doesn’t come easy either with her look still captured with fear, thus she looks back at you and gives you what you asked for. “I’m fine.”
You hesitate just in case she ends up changing her mind, but when she doesn’t follow up with a protest, you draw out a deep breath of your own and stand to your given height to step away from her. “We’ll be in the Red Keep and I’ll be waiting, okay?” You let her know, making her offer you a quick nod that seems like she’s brushing you off more than anything, but you and Aemond still leave and let her be.
And it’s only once the doors of her quarters are closed that you speak on the matter at hand. “What will you do with the Kingsguard?” You ask since Alicent said they escalated what was already happening. Or they gave the people an excuse to get violent.
“Aegon's friends are the ones who triggered the smallfolk to attack when one of them cut off a man’s arm,” he grumbles in frustration. “Which I can’t say surprises me, they have been incompetent since the start, they’ll serve better as dragon fodder, but alas, men of the Night's Watch are here, so I thought of having them banished there.”
“Hm, I think that’s an excellent response to their actions,” you praise his thought. “The Night's Watch is always in need of men, especially now that winter is around the corner.”
He hums and his eye then falls on you. At first, you don’t notice, don’t feel his stare because you’re in your own mind, but as your gaze drifts to the side you catch his stare before he can look away.
Any other time you would have brushed him off, but in contrast to that hard and blazing glare moments ago, now his eye is softer, and his blue eye isn’t clouded by the darkness of his anger.
“What?” You query.
He blinks and looks ahead before he mutters. “You just would have been good at it. Being Queen.”
Out of all the times you have confessed that dream, that desire to someone, the response is always the same. They always just take it as a passing thought, as a forgotten dream you just let them know about. Aemond is different though, he’s the first one to validate that desire, that forgotten dream still very much alive in the depths of your soul.
Is it in response to try and be something special in your mother’s eyes and those who forbid you from having such a dream become a reality? Who knows, but it still lingers there and he grasps onto it, and starts to pull it out of the abyss.
You know you shouldn’t keep dreaming, you should let go of his hand to let that dream fall back into the depths of the abyss where it will be forgotten once again, but…how can you let a hand go when it’s pulling you towards a glorious light?
A part of you wants to be free from the abyss, but as you’re blinded with clarity you think about your mother and your brother, and you can’t fathom ever betraying them like that. Your path is set already, and you can’t let it crumble and destroy what you worked hard to pave. You can’t turn your back on your mother over a dream that’s out of reach, that you had once been okay with letting go of.
You have to let go and stop being so hopelessly foolish, even if the temptation is hard not to cave into.
Thus you take Aemond’s compliment with a graceful smile and add nothing else on the matter even if your heart is swooning.
Thankfully he doesn’t add to the matter so you’re saved from further temptation. Instead, you follow him to the courtyard where Aegon’s Kingsguard friends are pushed to their knees, scared and nervous without a doubt over what fate the Prince regent will bestow upon them.
“Kneel before the Prince Regent Aemond Targaryen!” A guard announces as he and you descend the stairs to the courtyard, side by side. “And his lady wife, the Princess Regent…” he trails on to say your name.
Rather than sticking by Aemond’s side and watching the sentence he will give the Kingsguard though, your eyes go wide with glee as you spot an old, old friend from your time as a ward to Lady Karstark.
“Ser Mattias,” you whisper in disbelief and pick up your skirt to rush over to him and forget about your husband and the trial he’s conducting.
“Princess,” Ser Mattias greets with disbelief as he realizes that it’s really you.
“What a joy it is to see you, and,” you pause and study his all-black attire which differs wildly from the last time you saw him sporting bright white and typical greys and blacks with the sigil of his lady's house. “…All in black.”
Ser Mattias scoffs and tilts his head down to take a look at his own attire as if taking note of what he sports now, and what it means.
“And you,” he redirects and looks back at you to bow his head, making his long, dark locks dip with him. “Princess Regent, and…” he trails off to glance over your shoulder. “Weighed down by shadows.”
You glance at your sworn protectors before you pass Ser Mattias a smile. “It’s good to see you old friend, but I have to ask why you’re all in black now.”
Ser Mattias shifts on his feet and sighs. “After Lord Bennard tried to usurp Lord Cregan, I took the mantle as a brother of the Night's Watch. Perhaps I did serve his lady wife, but I still served their house,” he shakes his head gently. “I could not stand behind the treason, the sully to their name.”
You sigh and look at him with pity. “But Ser it was not your fault, Ser Bennard’s choices were his own. Not yours.”
“It does not matter, Princess, I could not stand for it. Nor did I have a home to return to, thus I joined the Night’s Watch and I’m better because of it,” he explains, letting you fall silent as you come to understand his reasoning, while also starting to wonder about someone after he mentioned his name.
First, though you make sure Aemond is still distracted with the sentencing before you casually bring him up since it’s not out of the ordinary. “An army from the North marches South, and their Lord leads them.”
A faint smile spreads on Ser Mattias' chapped lips and he nods stiffly. “Aye, I have heard. We will cross paths if the Gods let us.”
You nod slowly in comprehension and peek over at Aemond to keep making sure he’s distracted before you bring him up since you know you can trust Ser Mattias. “If you could Ser, pass a message to Lord Stark, for me?”
The man doesn’t react as you thought he would, nor should you have expected him to in truth. He and many others knew Cregan and you were great friends. You’re just overthinking.
“Of course. You and Lord Stark are still friends?” He asks and you nod before you pass him the message before Aemond can interrupt.
“Tell him…I’m okay. I'll be okay, and if the Gods are generous perhaps we’ll join each other on the battlefield.”
Ser Mattias shows he understands with a nod before he confirms his comprehension out loud. “I will give him the message.”
You let out a deep breath and nod your head before you step back and peer over your shoulder, catching at that moment, Aemond’s eye find you before he makes his way over with his hands behind his back, his head high, his back straight, and his chest puffed out as if trying to scare away the old man sworn to chastity.
“My Prince,” Ser Mattias greets and bows his head.
You pull on a smile and wait for Aemond to fall by your side before hooking your arm around his. “My love, this is Ser Mattias, he was Lady Karstark’s sworn protector when I was her ward.”
“Aye,” the man agrees. “I watched the Princess grow up for three years of her life, and grow from disdaining the North to falling in love with it.”
You giggle and Aemond crosses an arm over his chest to grab your hand as if trying to prove something to the man before him.
“She will be able to tell you the dire need of men in the Night's Watch,” Ser Mattias makes sure to take advantage of Aemond’s presence to ask for capable bodies. “Winter is coming and the threats will worsen. So please, any prisoners you may have rotting in your dungeons, send them to us.”
You glance over at Aemond and watch him offer the man a stiff comprehensive nod before he finally breaks his silence. “I will keep it in mind, Ser. Now I’m sure you have a long journey ahead of you, and prisoners who already require your attention.”
You shoot Aemond an annoyed side eye while you slowly slip your arm away from his. Albeit he refuses to let you go, so he discreetly tugs your arm back to keep you interlocked.
“My Prince,” the man bids his farewell with a small bow. “My Princess, it was an honor seeing you again.”
“And you, Ser,” you redirect softly. “Safe travels on your way back to the Wall.”
“Thank you.” He nods and without another word turns to follow his brothers out the gates. Aemond then turns away without letting go of you so you can stick at his side as if you will wander away or get lost on your way back inside the Red Keep.
Does that stop you from peering back at the man already paces away?
No, you still peer over your shoulder not because you long to leave too, not because you will miss the man, but because you know he will see Cregan...
——
*SOMETIME LATER*
“Lord Ormund Hightower makes slow progress.” Lord Lord Jasper shares what he knows. “There is great concern that his host is threatened on two fronts by armies allied with House Beesbury.”
Something that has caught your attention about this faction is that these great armies surely do complain a lot. You don’t remember men fighting for your mother complaining or asking for more assistance for a threat that has not hit them yet.
How annoying.
“However,” the lord continues over the ruckus that comes from the streets below and is actually loud enough that you hear it from the room. “In happier tidings, Prince Daeron’s dragon, Tessarion, has at last taken to wing—“
“Eyes on the horizon!” A distant shout starts to steal your attention.
“Your brother expects to join the fight soon—”
“Dragon!”
It can’t be Astraea, they would not make any commotion for her anymore. And Vhagar wouldn't alarm them either, so is it Sunfyre? Has he returned?
“…and when he does, the Hightower host will be unstoppable,” Lord Jasper tries to talk over the commotion, but that only turns to panic.
“Dragon! Inside! Now!”
Can it be your mother? Or daemon? Both?
Aemond turns his gaze to you and you both speechlessly come to the same conclusion that the panic is caused by an unknown dragon, there isn’t any other explanation for such a commotion, so you both rip away from your chairs and stride out to the balcony, where you see all the chaos first hand.
Like when they threatened Astraea when you first got to the city, now all the guards on the walls collect all their courage and point at a large dragon. One you can’t make out right away, but as it flies toward the city at great speed you instantly recognize the spectacular beast.
“Silverwing,” you announce her presence breathlessly as your mind wanders to who her rider might be. Is it Rhaena?
Last you heard of her she went to the Vale, but she could have gone back to Dragonstone, this might be her…
But why would she come to King's Landing alone?
There doesn’t seem to be any other dragons so it’s safe to assume Silverwing is alone, so why would Rhaena fly here?
Unless…it’s someone else? Who though? You need to know.
Nevertheless, once again Aemond seems to be interlinked with your current running thoughts because without sparing another moment he pushes himself away from the railing and twirls around to storm away.
He doesn’t ask for you to come but you don’t wait for an invitation, or care if he wants you to stay, you follow at his pace and can’t help but wonder who could be mounted on Silverwing. You want to think of anyone, someone you might know, but no one comes to mind, and those who do would not be stupid enough to bring their dragon to King’s Landing for a damn joyride. Because that’s what it seems like it is, a joyride.
Silverwing does not seem to be attacking, nor does she linger over one place. They don’t even land, they just fly, so whoever is on Silverwing must be pretty ballsy, and you need to know who it is, or perhaps protect them from Aemond and Vhagar’s wrath in some discreet way where it seems to Aemond that you’re attacking when you’re only scaring them away so they’re out of his reach.
But you can only do that if Aemond doesn’t forbid you from flying out after against them. You have already talked about this matter and come to a conclusion, but you still expect him to stop you, to tell you to stay put and wait for him to come back with a report.
Albeit he does not, he doesn’t even try to protest in some discreet way. When you finally reach a courtyard he doesn’t stop you from mounting a horse. He lets you ride out with him side by side, and between your curiosity and disbelief, you feel glad that he’s keeping to his word. It only makes your blood pump faster.
Yet nothing beats that rush when you hear your dragon’s threatening cry as she matches your enthusiasm and flies out to meet you without having to be told verbally, without having to go out to meet her like Aemond to Vhagar. As if in sync with each other's desires, Astraea flies past the city walls at the same time your horse sprints out of the city gates, and without having to come to a stop, and without having her land on some empty patch of land, you throw your arm out and stretch your fingers out.
Astraea’s shadow then casts over Aemond and you as she reaches you in a split second, but she doesn’t slow down to wait for you, she keeps at her. speed, seeming like she’s going to fly past you, but then a rope brushes over the tip of your fingers, so you grab onto it and wrap it around your wrist to be pulled off the horse as she continues flying forward; making you look like a sailor swinging across the deck of their ship, or out to danger.
Now, you usually don’t tend to mount Astraea using the rope, you tend to climb her, but in emergencies such as now, you use the rope, and strain all your upper body muscles to scale up the rope as she’s flying at a great speed over green lands.
Once you throw yourself over your leather saddle, Astraea peers back to make sure you’re secured on her back before she lets out an excited screech that matches the excitement you feel pumping to your heart, and then flaps her purple wings to pick up her speed and go faster than she already was without worrying over Vhagar or Aemond. You leave them behind because you know they’ll eventually catch up and pursue the stranger on Silverwing, the dragon that once belonged to Queen Alysanne, and who is mother to your own dragon.
Besides, leaving Aemond and Vhagar behind gives you time to know who rides Silverwing without having to be hostile. However, since Silverwing does have the lead, there's a pretty big gap between Astraea and her as she seems to be heading back to Dragonstone. Not like her having the advantage really matters, Astraea can be fast, especially when she’s excited or agitated, like now she’s as curious and rushed with as much thrilling excitement as you are.
So much so that she flaps her large wings and then dips down with her wings tucked to gain speed, managing after a few flaps to get close enough that you’ll be able to see who Silverwings rider is. You just need them to look down, but it doesn’t seem like they’re aware of you, or Astraea. Which indicates that they must be brand new to dragon riding, or stupidly careless.
Either or you need to know who they are exactly, but your voice won’t be carried out through the rushing wind, Astraea’s can though, so she speaks for you with a rather unthreatening chitter. She’s just loud and harsh enough that her noise will travel fast through the air and hit the ears of Silverwing, and her rider.
And as expected without having to call out a second time, Silverwing tilts her slim silver body to the side, letting you see the back of the rider before they look back and reveal who they are; some middle-aged man, with a plump face that matches his rather plump body, dark greying hair that flies over his shoulders, and a terrified look painted on his pale face.
He also seems to be dressed rather poorly, so does this mean he’s some bastard commoner? Did your mother really become so daring as to trust the Smallfolk to ride dragons for her? Because there’s no way Silverwing went out in search of this man, she hardly flew too far from Dragonstone, she isn’t as adventurous as Seasmoke, and with no rider, there wasn’t a reason to fly out to King's Landing or any city, so that can only mean that this was your mothers doing, but why didn’t she tell you?
Did she know you would be against it? Sure you have a soft spot for the Smallfolk, but to trust them with dragons? You can’t really trust strangers with polluted dragon blood. They can turn on you before you can know it. You can’t trust them, they’re not family.
But she seemed to trust them…so you have to…make sure Vhagar doesn’t touch them.
If only the man knew that you’re no threat, he looks like he’s about to shit himself with how scared he looks over your sudden appearance. That will not bode well for Silverwing. She’ll sense his fear and take you and Astraea as a threat, but there’s no way to make the man understand you won’t hurt them, you’ll just have to make Astraea slow down to put some distance between her and Silverwing.
“<Slow Astraea,>,” you tell your dragon in High Valyrian as you lean forward to caress her neck. “<We're on the same side.>”
Astraea chitters softly and tries to do as you say, making the man’s eyebrows pinch together and then ease as his fear turns to confusion. Yet Silverwing does not seem to go through the same emotions, because from one second to another she whips her tail down and smacks Astraea across the face.
“<Astraea!>” You call out in horror and watch her squirm her head out of pain before her brown eyes snap up and she lets out a pissed roar. “<Calm down!>” You try to ease her quick risen anger.
However, a deep guttural roar rips through the cloud bank behind you in response to Astraea’s rageful roar, and it seems that Vhagar gives fuel to Astraea’s anger because she then does exactly as you wanted her to do before, she slows down and hides from Silverwing in the cloud bank, causing the man to think you and your dragon stopped the chase because you’re out of sight.
Alas, that’s what Astraea wanted Silverwing and the rider to think. She wants them to lower their guard and waits for them to descend from greater heights to be just low enough that they’re close to the body of water you fly over.
You know she’s up to something, you can hear her groaning, and see her gaze pierced ahead and then fall, but rather than stopping her, you let her give in to her anger so you can scare away the rider and Silverwing because as you pay attention, you hear Vhagar. You see her in the distance and you know Aemond won’t hesitate to attack. Thus you let Astraea act out.
You actually let a smirk play on your lips, you relish in the adrenaline rushing through your veins as you think of what Astraea has planned. Which will give this new rider the wrong idea, but that’s what you need at the moment, you can’t blow your cover, and…a part of you doesn’t care that he gets the wrong idea about you. You…salivate over the thought of having him be scared of you.
It’s why with that mischievous longing in your heart, you welcome Astraea’s charge towards the water as you remain undetected. When you approach the water's surface you duck your head and draw in a deep breath to hold it in as your dragon dives in the cold water. And considering she’s more than fond of these antics when you’re riding her, you don’t show fear or panic, you actually tear your eyes open and find awe as you see all the wonders that live in the water.
They’re simple wonders like fish, simple deep and blue waters, and common undersea plants, but as if it’s the first time taking it all in you’re completely captivated by it all, but not forgetful of your current dire situation. You prepare for Astraea to resurface by closing your eyes and ducking your head again. Once your drenched body is smacked by the cold rushing breeze, you wipe the water off your eyes before you open them and then sit up, coming to see at that moment, as your eyes connect the shadow over you to its owner, that Astraea is now directly below Silverwing, and the silver dragon is none the wiser.
Silverwing did not hear Astraea dive in the water, nor does she catch her and you flying out and torpedoing toward her. Her rider is in the same affair, only Aemond and Vhagar see what you’re doing from a distance, and you know for a fact that neither will give you away. A proud and malicious smirk actually spreads on Aemond’s face, easing the frustration that has him all stiff. And that pride only heightens and mixes with awe as he catches how Astraea opens her mouth to get ready for the attack as she gets near the silver dragon.
Albeit just before she can chomp down on Silverwing, the silver dragon finally catches Astraea and is able to swerve the attack, making Astraea bite air.
“Damn,” you hiss under your breath and tug the handles away to steer Astraea away, but Silverwing is rightfully pissed. She flies head first toward Astraea before she tilts her body back to hook her claws on the Astraea.
However, before your dragon is gashed, she flips her body swiftly to be on her back and have you be upside down for a second before she flips to her other side and puts some distance between her and Silverwing.
“<Calm down now Astraea. That should be enough,” you tell your dragon as you pat her neck. “You did good girl. Leave her be now.>”
Astraea roars out at Silverwing, and the silver dragon responds with a louder and higher-pitched roar, but neither dragon goes for another attack. Astraea listens to you and lets Silverwing gain the advantage. The rider steals paranoid glances at you, but you don’t attempt to share any reassuring looks so he knows he’ll be fine, you feed his fear by passing him a malicious look that is the last thing he sees before he finally gains a good distance from you and your raging dragon.
After that, since you’re done with your charged pursuit you just follow him the rest of the way to Dragonstone since Aemond and Vhagar are still on Silverwing’s trail. You get so close to home in fact, that Astraea has to swerve to one side to avoid flying over land, in doing so letting you see the welcoming and relieving sight of your mother.
Your mother is there on the ground, and not alone either, she’s guarded by Syrax, and the great Bronze Fury, Vermithor, he’s there too, which is unbelievable really, but you can only give your attention to your mother who is struck with surprise as she sees you passing by. While you come to realize at the same time she does that you’re just out of reach, but still far from one another and not able to touch. The only thing you can do is pass her a prideful look for her achievement because regardless of your distrust and disapproval of this new plan, you’re still proud that she got to achieve such a feat in not only gaining a rider for Silverwing, but Vermithor too it seems! Proving how capable she is not only as a ruler but a warrior too.
You’re proud of that and you make sure she sees it with your smile not only on your lips but dancing in your eyes too.
Yet your pride and bliss are fleeting, taking your adrenaline with it when you fly over the shore and see Seasmoke with a rider. Which shouldn’t be surprising as it is, your father is gone and Seasmoke is free to bond with anyone. It was going to happen eventually, but…he was your father's dragon, he was a part of your father once and your heart always remembers your father every time you look at Seasmoke. Your heart aches every time you see the silver-grey dragon because you think of your beloved father.
Now when you look at Seasmoke you’ll see a new rider and the cruel reminder that your father won’t ever come back. He’s gone forever, and Seasmoke will now be someone else’s. He’ll be a part of someone new, someone…
Wait…
You blink and as the cloud of grief passes you come to recognize the man on Seasmoke; it’s Addam! Addam of Hull?!
But…but how?!
Who…
Oh…
Oh!
It’s not beyond the realm of possibilities, the realization that slams into you. There are other possibilities of course, but why else would your grandfather pester you and bother himself to introduce you to Addam’s brother Alyn?
You thought it was weird at that moment. Why would you care who that man is, and why would your grandfather put so much trust in a man when it came to sending him to King's Landing to check on you last year?
It’s because…Addam and Alyn, are his offspring. Potentially, but very likely. It explains why Addam is on Seasmoke!
Damn, now how can you assure yourself that it’s actually fact and not a wild assumption? Ask your grandfather? Yeah right, like he would ever confess to it. And it’s doubtful anyone else knows if it’s true.
Did your grandmother know?
Who knows.
Regardless, you want to know now, and you need to tell Aemond about Seasmoke too when you get home. It doesn’t seem like he noticed Addam and Seasmoke from where he was and because he turned away before he could get a closer look.
However, you don’t follow him home, Aemond leads you and Astraea to an elevated green mountain near the town Sharp Point rather than returning home right away, which…can’t be good. If he wanted time alone he would find it at home, not near this town.
Yet here he is and he’s pissed. You can see his face contorted with anger, his jaw clenched, and his gaze distant the moment you dismount your dragons.
“You saw it?” Is the first thing he says as you make your way to each other. “The dragons and their common born riders.”
You try to figure out his thought process, but there’s also so much in your mind, so your curiosity is second place to everything else.
“I saw it, and I saw Seasmoke too,” you share, making him grimace and turn his head away to simmer in his growing anger.
“But,” you add and step closer to him. “That’s not the most important fact. I know his rider.”
Aemond’s gaze immediately returns to you and his gaze narrows while his eye digs itself deep inside you to try and figure out what you mean by that.
“He has a brother that my grandfather introduced me to when we went to Driftmark,” you continue to heighten his jealousy and curiosity. “I thought it was weird that he would bother himself to introduce us, and then he revealed that he sent that brother to our engagement tourney, and now I think he did all this because…they might be…his bastards?” You say more like a question as if Aemond would know the truth.
“It explains why Addam can ride Seasmoke,” you explain what is clear, but then begin to drift back to confusion and cluelessness. “But I do not know, I can’t be sure. And it’s not like I can just ask my grandfather.”
Aemond swallows thickly and turns away to get lost in thought. You let your mind wander too, but as you do you also remember where you are, and what you think Aemond might do to this town in response to his anger for your mother’s achievements.
“Do you realize what this means? This dragonrider?” Aemond makes his silence short and turns to face you, making you slowly turn to face his gaze now not tense with jealousy, but softened with pity.
“If he is Lord Corlys’ bastard then he and the brother might be legitimized, and one of them may be turned heir of Driftmark and Lord of the Tides,” he shares what you did not even realize, you were so stuck on the fact that he might be your grandfather's bastard that you did not see the bigger picture. And now that you’re seeing it in its totality, that worry you had for this town is completely diminished.
“But,” you argue effortlessly as if weakened by the cruel but real assumption. “He said he would make Aerion his heir.”
Aemond sighs deeply and closes the gap between you to grab your arms and hold your gaze with your breaths brushing over each other's faces, and the warmth that radiates off him blanketing your still damped body.
“But now his bastards are fighting wars and bonding with dragons, they’re older, don’t you think he’ll favor him over our son?” He presses and only makes a sadness puncture your heart, and the need to know the truth that much more significant. After all, why wouldn’t you expect something else to be taken from you?
They took your role as heir, and now they might take your son's role as heir of Driftmark.
“Do you…” you trail off and drop your head to try and find an answer, to try and contradict that new fear Aemond planted in your mind. “Do you think he would?” You ask with a great sadness dulling your eyes while also making them gleam so brightly with the tears that cloud them.
“Why wouldn’t he? They already took your role as heir,” he says in a softer tone now as he reaches over to grab your face, forbidding you from feeling alone as your heart is once again troubled with sorrow, disbelief, and…growing anger.
Anger you can’t exactly feed without knowing if it’s true though. You need to know if Addam and Alyn are really his bastards before you can let this anger take root.
You need to know.
“I need to talk to someone,” you tell Aemond with determination. “I need to know if it’s true or not, and I know my grandfather would never say, so I need to go ask someone who will know.”
Aemond blinks and his eyebrows knit together. At first, he assumes you’ll ask one of the Hull boys, but you then tell him otherwise.
“I need to go ask the Red Priestess, Kinvara, she’ll know.”
Aemond parts his lips to rebuttal but you cup his hands and assure his worry. “I’ll be okay. I trust her. She’ll tell me the truth.”
.
.
.
.
.
A/N- something wicked this way comes ;(;
Tagged- @namelesslosers @stargaryenx @chainsawsangel @lauftivy @winxschester @cloudroomblog @llarue @padsdarlg @sofietargaryen @gracielikegrapes @dreaming-of-the-reality @itzelpeyton @patdsinner33 @mrsdominickstark @elaena-aerrin @todoroki-slut @snh96 @urmomsgirlfriend1 @nifujiswhore @sweethoneyblossom1 @kaetastic @lightdragonrayne @squidscottjeans @oh-you-mean-me @wallacewillow0773638 @icefrye19 @thescottpack @fiction-fanfic-reader @crazymusicgirl104 @r-3dlips @strangersunghoon @just-pure-trash @ethereal-athalia @missyviolet123 @callsignwidow @xunquish-blog @tabathastan
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cheollipop · 1 year
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Hiiiiii<3333 Im here for the hard hours
Lately I've been thinking abt breeding kink with mingi. Like picture tighing him up to the head board and riding him during one of your risky days. And you just keep going and going just being relentless at some point he knows he's going to burst so he's BEGGING you not to make him cum. like full crying and whining his normally deep voice cracking and breaking because you did stop and his big huge cock is just throbbing inside you amd he's frustrated but then again he actually asked (begged) you to stop so he's the only one to blame here ORRRR worse (= better hehe) you do force him to cum inside you and it's just a mess. So much cum and tears 🥵🥵🥵
I'm totally normal about this man........ don't even need therapy or anything 🙃🙃
I'm so sorry for getting to this so late :( I ran out of steam but now I'm feeling better and ready to write the subbiest, whiniest mingi for you my love. no dubcon in this! happy reading~~
nsfw under cut—minors dni!
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in the solace of your bedroom, the moonlight illuminating through the chiffon curtains to cast blueish hues over slick skin, the bed creaked under your added weight as you grazed your knuckles over mingi's heaving chest, a pretty shade of pink tinting the smooth skin. your eyes fluttered shut, and you allowed the breathy, high-pitched whines, the muttered mixture of pleads and curses, to envelop your every sense.
the rapid rhythm of skin-on-skin reverberated in the dark room, working your hips over mingi with tandem, his cock sheathed deep within you as you rocked back and forth, pulling off halfway before slamming back down. pleasure shot up your spine as his twitching cockhead grazed over your g-spot with every grind, your walls squeezing around him to elicit needy moans from plush lips.
"y/n, please, I can't-" you rolled your thumb over one of his nipples, interrupting his whining with a muted 'ah'. "I-I'm not gonna last."
you smiled at the concern painting his face, your hips slowing down their ruthless pace so you could lower yourself over him, adhering your chest to his and gazing into his eyes while your hips drew languid circles.
"you want me to stop?" you emphasized your pout, drawing your eyebrows in while you stared at the man under you.
large hands grabbed onto the silk ribbon tying them to the bedhead, tugging uselessly, "I don't, I really don't. just- it's dangerous, sweetheart."
you rolled your hips forward again, slipping an inch off of his cock before sliding it back inside your tight heat, "thought you wanted a baby," you pursed your lips further. one hand slid down his torso to where his cock disappeared inside you, gliding up your mound to your lower belly and pressing the heel of your palm into the soft skin, pushing against the bulging tip of his cock, twitching underneath your flesh.
his head rolled back against the pillow, a deep groan ripping through his chest as you moved your palm over the hard outline of his cock. "I do- fuck, but are we ready?"
you leaned over him, breathing over his chin while looking up, eyes glazed over with burning want. "yeah, baby, 'want you to fill me up all the way," you placed a tender kiss over his jawline, "over and over again until I'm all swollen for you."
you could feel his throbbing length inside you, the twitch of his thighs under you alerting you of his turbulent arousal. "(y/n)-"
"want them to have your eyes," one hand cupped his face, smoothing a thumb over his left eyebrow, "and your nose," you pecked the tip of his nose, "and your laugh," a fleeting kiss over the plush of his lips, you moved back to eye his dazed expression before going back in for more.
the warmth of your cunt surrounding him, the insistent squeeze around his girth, your mouth moving over his, tongue swiping over his bottom lip—mingi's world, his thoughts, feelings, senses, they all reduced to you. your heat, your skin, your touch, your voice. he tugged against the silk ribbon once, twice, before giving up, digging his feet into the mattress under him to buck his hips upwards and into you. desperate thrusts into your soaked cunt paired with a blend of airy moans and throaty grunts echoed between the four walls, your downstairs neighbours catching the melody slipping through the cracked-open window.
the familiar twitch of his cock between your walls and the pretty flush painting his chest were enough warning of his approaching orgasm, your hips lifting off him and his length slapping against his lower belly. he was left impetuously thrusting into open air, a noise of confusion escaping his parted lips.
"please, (y/n), I'm so close," he whined, trembling under you as his high dwindled down, cold air brushing over his slicked-up cock. "let me stuff you full, baby. make you nice and pregnant for me, yeah? you want that, right?"
a wave of arousal rushed through you and straight down to your core, your pussy gushing until it dripped down the sides of your thighs. "but I thought you weren't ready," you pouted in dejection.
"I am! fuck- I promise, I am! 'want our kids to be just like you—kind, beautiful, understanding," his hips jolted upwards inadvertently, the deep baritone of his voice rising a few octaves, occasionally breaking as he whined under you. "if it's with you, I'm ready for anything."
a shared exhale mingled in the small gap between your faces as you slid down mingi's length again, your eyes fluttering shut at the brush of his cockhead against your g-spot. you pried them open again, not wanting to miss the change in mingi's expression—from desperation, to relief, to the rawest forms of lust. you pawed at his wrists, pulling at the ribbon tying them firmly until it slipped off. with his hands now free, he reached down to grab at your hips before the blood could make it to his appendages. your thoughts faded into nothing, deaf to anything but the sound of skin slapping on skin combined with mingi's soft moans, his deep groans dropping to mere whimpers of need.
constant shots of pleasure seared up your spine, your clit rubbing harshly over mingi's pelvis while he fucked into you, your vision going black as you came on his cock with a strangled cry, your walls clamping around him as he continued to chase his orgasm despite your pained mewls.
it took a few more frantic thrusts before mingi's nails pressed thin crescents into your skin, his hips stuttering as hot ropes of cum shot between your pulsing walls, holding you down on his cock while he unloaded all he had deep inside you. and all he had was a lot, his seed seeping past your stretched hole from the sheer amount he was feeding into your womb.
"ngh- fuck. mingi, it's so much," you breathed out.
the pain from overstimulation dulled when you took in the tears making their way down the sides of mingi's face—pearlescent streaks reflecting the moonlight pouring out of the open blinds. "i-it won't stop coming out, ah- all for you, baby," he rolled his hips to push himself further inside you, his cockhead spasming once as it shot out its last spurt of cum.
you laid there in the aftershocks, your thighs trembling around mingi's hips while your body rocked with every intake of breath, his chest moving steadily under your head. his release trickled out of you in small beads, mingi's cock still plugged inside your used cunt to keep the majority of it inside. gentle fingers squeezed at your hips, sliding upwards to your mid-back and down to soothe your aching muscles.
it was when sleep tugged your eyelids shut that mingi grew restless again, and through the thick haze of fatigue, you noticed his cock chubbing up inside you. your body slowly rolled sideways with mingi's until it made contact with the sheets, warm where he'd been laying. he towered over you, pressing his hips to yours with his glazed-over eyes fixed on your face.
"want you," he whimpered, one hand on your hip while the other cupped your face, leaning down to press a kiss to your cheekbone.
"mingi-"
"want you so bad, baby," he ground his cock inside you, biting his lip at the squelch of his cum between your walls. you moaned breathily at the feeling, your eyes finding mingi's before he leaned down to place another kiss to your forehead. "wanna see you swollen with my babies," he panted, his thumb finding your swollen clit and drawing slow circles over it. "gotta make sure I fill you up properly."
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silhouetteonpaper · 2 months
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Who’s To Blame?
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Summary: When you show up at the compound with severe injuries, there’s no guarantee if you’re going to pull through. Even worse than that, there’s no one to explain how you ended up in this situation in the first place. Natasha Romanoff x Reader, Yelena Belova x Reader WC: 2,301 Warnings: Blood loss, wounds, mentions of killing, possible character death but I don’t want to spoil things A/N: I am so happy with how this turned out, I apologize in advance for the angst <3
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The deep night sky outside Natasha’s window makes her groan as she rolls over to check the time. 1:35 am, great. Exhaling, she swings herself out of bed, too restless to attempt even another hour of rest. Something feels off tonight, and it’s impeding her ability to get a good night’s sleep.
Instead of trying to close her eyes for the fifth time, she chooses to venture out into the compound’s kitchen to make some tea. It’s silent, almost eerie out in the hallway as the dark cast of nighttime has settled. She doesn’t bother to flick on the lights, the soft glow of the moon providing enough light as Natasha lets her hot mug of tea steep.
The quiet sound of shallow breathing makes her nearly drop the mug, her entire body turning around with haste to see who dares to intrude. To Natasha’s surprise, it’s not an intruder, but rather a familiar figure lying on the couch just across the room.
She approaches, quickly seeing that it’s you sprawled out on the cushions. But you're not all safe and snuggled up against the pillows, instead she spots the blood pooling around your abdomen.
“Hey,” Her hands make quick work of finding the source, the mug now left for the cold on the coffee table. Your eyes flutter open, but it’s obvious they won’t stay that way for long. “Stay with me, I need you to tell me what happened.”
Natasha applies pressure to your wound, a soft whimper escaping your lips. It’s the last bit of energy you can muster, your entire body feeling numb and lifeless. She uses her free hand to cup your cheek, her thumb running up and down in hopes the comfort will keep you conscious.
“I need help out here!” Natasha shouts, looking behind her for any sign of her team. Silence. “Shit, please!” Her volume increases as she eyes your pale skin under the moonlight.
Suddenly, a half-awake group of heroes runs out of their rooms, your eyes barely able to make out their blurry silhouettes. “Nat? What’s going on?” Bruce questions, quickly noticing your limp body on the couch.
“We need to get her to the med bay, while she still has a heartbeat preferably.” Natasha moves to carefully scoop you up, but not before Bruce calls for her to wait.
“There’s no way we can get her there without losing too much blood, I’ll be back in just a minute!” And just like that, the doctor is off running. Natasha furrows her brows and leans back in by your side.
“Please, stay with me. I’m right here.” She grabs your hand, and you’re able to offer the lightest squeeze. Still, it’s enough for the Widow, a small ounce of relief filling her as she realizes you’re not fully out of the game yet.
“Do you know how this happened?” Steve’s voice breaks her focus from you.
Nat shakes her head, attempting to wrack her brain for any possible inkling on how you’d land with a wound this deep. “She said something about a last minute mission earlier, but she didn’t make it sound like a big deal.”
Steve tilted his head in confusion. “Nat, there were no missions today… I would’ve signed off on it.” Natasha was left frozen, but there was no time to think on it any longer as Bruce sprinted over with a case full of supplies.
The Widow reluctantly moved to the side as he began working. The entire group is on edge as he begins to tediously stitch up the wound, excess blood continuing to pour out while Natasha attempts to keep pressure.
30 minutes and nearly 100 stitches later, you’re finally stable enough to be moved to the med bay. The slow mimicked beep of your heart rate fills the room as Natasha sits silently beside the bed. Bruce informed everyone on your current state, assuring them they shouldn’t keep their hopes up for a speedy recovery.
Regardless of your injuries, Natasha’s beside herself with worry without any idea of how this happened. The sun is beginning to peek over the city when Steve knocks on the door. “How’re you holding up?” He stands at the edge of your bed, opposite of Natasha.
“I’m fine,” She breathes. “I just… I can’t even imagine how she could’ve gotten a wound this bad.”
Steve crosses his arms as he scans your lifeless state. “Last minute mission, huh? Do you have any idea what she actually could’ve been doing?” There’s no response at first.
“I wish I did.” Natasha takes a deep breath, the weight of the situation starting to fill her with guilt. Is this her fault for not knowing your whereabouts?
“Don’t do that,” Steve breaks Nat out of her thoughts, getting a confused look as she brings her gaze to him. “Don’t blame yourself.”
She shakes her head once more. “Don’t tell me what to do.” He’s about to argue back, but is interrupted by the sudden blaring noise coming from your heart monitor. “Bruce!” She yells, watching as the flat blue line creates a steady horizon over the screen.
It all happens so fast. Bruce rushing in, beginning chest compressions. Natasha yelling over his shoulder while Steve tries to pull her away. All while the relentless sound of truth hits everyone at once. The beeping goes quiet.
So does Natasha, but only for a moment. “No, no, make it start beeping again. She’s not dead, make it start working!” She’s beginning to shout as she tries to reach for the lifeless vitals monitor.
“She’s gone Nat! She’s gone, and there’s nothing we can do to change that!” Steve tries to calm her down, ending up in a near fist fight with the Widow as her grief floods all at once. He pulls her to the wall, both sliding down it as she begins to sob.
Her thoughts are overwhelmed with flooding accusations; it’s all my fault, it should’ve been me. But one thing swirls her mind like a tornado, blowing away the blame as it can’t change the absolute truth. You’re dead. And no one knows why.
The beaming sun lands onto the table covered in papers, each white sheet filled to the brim with various logs and charts. Natasha’s at the head of it all, flipping through each record and scanning it thoroughly before doing the same to the next… and the next… and-
“Nat?” Steve stands in the doorway of the office, trying to hide his widened eyes at the sight before him. It’s only been a few days since your passing—and besides filling her time with your funeral planning, Natasha’s also been caught up in figuring out the cause. What got you the deathly wound in the first place?
She doesn’t even look up from her tedious task, the super soldier finally walking forward and seeing for himself what’s got her so focused. “Damn, you’ve got every single comms record, mission log, criminal activity report… Nat, I don’t think-“
“Don’t tell me what to do.” She interrupts, refusing to lift her eyes from the stack of papers she’s holding.
“Yeah, you’ve been saying that a lot these days,” Steve comments before sitting down across the table. “Look, if you want to find out what happened to her, I don’t think you’re going to find it here.”
Finally, Natasha’s gaze unsticks from the pages. “Are you saying you know something I don’t?” Her eyes nearly widened with desperation, the need to find out what happened to you tearing her apart.
Steve takes a deep breath, wondering if it’s a good idea to loop Natasha into another research frenzy. “Not necessarily. Her phone was found downtown this morning. I figured if anyone is going to look through it, it should be you.” He takes out the mobile phone from his pocket, placing it softly in the middle of her chaotic mess of papers.
Her breath catches, the sight of any remnant of you making her nearly start to cry again. She only manages to nod, slowly reaching out for the phone. Natasha takes a second to feel it in her hands, the same sleek shape reminding her of the numerous times you made her take your photo, or when you’d hand it over to show a cute video. The reminder of your consistent smiling expression, it made a tear finally break free from Natasha’s stoic hold.
Steve leaves her to it as she reluctantly powers it on. The sudden reveal of your lock screen image makes her question if she really wants to do this, a recent photo of you and her making silly faces burning into Natasha’s tender heart.
Typing in the passcode is like muscle memory. 3123. 3/1/23. The day you became an Avenger. As all of your apps and notifications load into place, there’s no turning back.
3 Unread Messages
Yelena Belova
Hey, did you do it?
Starting to get worried… did you make it back okay?
Okay, seriously, I’m freaking out.
“She’s in contact with your sister? Do you have any idea why?” Steve and Natasha sit around the living room, a narrowed down stack of mission logs now spread across the coffee table.
“No, my sister’s really good about being vague over text.” Natasha responds, scrolling through your text history with Yelena for the third time, her heart racing no matter how many times she’s seen it. Multiple messages about ‘completing’ something, ‘following through’, ‘making it back’, it was all so cryptic. And there’s only one way to try and find out what it means.
“I think I need to call Yelena.” Natasha deduces, sitting in silence for a moment as she thinks what this could lead to. She hasn’t spoken to her sister in a few years, but has heard inklings about her whereabouts. Working under a new branch, doing missions for anyone just to get by.
“Do you really think Yelena could’ve been involved in the cause of her death?” Steve questioned. Natasha shrugged unknowingly.
“At this rate, I’m not ruling it out.” Natasha discloses while pulling out her own phone. It takes a few seconds for her to find Yelena’s number, the phone ringing for quite a while before finally a familiar accent sounds.
“Natasha,” Yelena answers, a weary tone seeping through even with just her voice. “I think I know what this is about.”
“Well, I’m certainly not calling to ask for my sweater back.” Natasha comments, sitting in the uncomfortable silence that forms after.
“Please tell me she’s alive.” Yelena’s fully worried now as she realizes the only reason her sister could call had to pertain to the lack of your responses from the other week.
“She’s dead.” Natasha states bluntly. It’s easy to feel the guilt flooding over Yelena on the other end of the line. “What did you do to her?”
Yelena takes an offended breath. “Me! She was doing this for you!” More silence sits between both ends of the call, but this time it isn’t awkward—it’s accusatory.
“What do you mean, Yelena?” Natasha speaks slowly. “I need you to tell me everything you know.”
Natasha and Yelena unknowingly take a simultaneous deep breath. “She… she wanted to eliminate Veronika Lebedev.” The name makes Natasha shudder, just as you did the first time she told you about this target.
Veronika, one of the handful of people at the head of the Red Room that made Natasha’s past a living nightmare. She’d confided in you not long ago about her experience, and more specifically each encounter with the walking grim reaper known as Madam Lebedev.
It was at that moment, Natasha felt the worst dread of all. Not because she was reminded of all the horrid things that happened in the Red Room, but because she knew exactly what happened to you. You tried to eliminate one of the strongest forces Natasha’s faced.
“Nat?” Yelena pulls Natasha back into the present, her attention suddenly fixated on ending a certain perpetrator’s life. But suddenly, her mind is no longer preoccupied as her sister utters two powerful words. “I’m sorry.”
“Why are you sorry? You're not the one that killed my closest friend.” Natasha breathes.
“Because she came to me asking where to look, and I told her. I shouldn’t have, I wasn’t thinking. I should’ve known Vernonika wouldn’t hesitate to swing first.” Yelena voices, the sound of sniffling lacing her words. “What’re you going to do?”
Natasha thinks for a moment, all the possibilities swirling in her mind. She wants more than anything to kill Veronika, to avenge your reason for knocking on death’s door too early. But a part of her feels urged to just… leave it.
What would you say if Natasha offered to go kill her worst enemy in your stead? You probably wouldn’t be too happy about it, and that very same thought process is working it’s way through the Widow’s mind.
“I think I need to bury my friend.” Natasha decides, the lingering guilt leaving her to get you safe and at peace as soon as possible. That’s her real priority, not killing someone, not avenging, not saving the world, but making sure her best friend can rest easy.
“I think that’s best.” Yelena agrees, the two of them sitting in a more comfortable silence now. “Hey, Nat?”
“Yeah?”
“Can I come to the funeral?” Yelena asks softly. Natasha chuckles slightly, the memory of you and the blonde meeting for the first time replaying in her mind. Endless laughter, constant jokes, and a bond that could never be broken. The same bond Natasha has with you that no one can deny, not even a sister. So who is she to deny Yelena that?
Natasha finally comes to an answer. “I think she’d love that.”
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the-mandawhor1an · 2 months
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My favorite pillow - Jackson!Joel Miller x Reader drabble
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disclaimer: the picture above is to set the mood, you can imagine reader to look however you want
Tags: Safe for work! Established relationship; Joel is riddled with guilt; lots of cuddling; pet names;  reader’s gender isn’t specified but they have boobs; Reader is basically Joel’s plushie; angst! and fluff; one allusion to sex but it’s tame I swear
Synopsis: Joel feels the weight of guilt clouding his mind one evening. You feel the weight of him over you, trying to soothe his worries. 
Words: 900
A/N: Unbeta'd; The teaser trailer is to blame here. also, thank @djarins-wife for screaming at me in the DMs after the trailer dropped and motivating me to turn this: 
“I need him. on top of me, engulfed in a death grip cuddle, head on my chest and I can play with his hair and he tells me about all of his worries 😭”
into a drabble
Divider as always by @saradika-graphics
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It’s an evening like any other, you think. Things have been a bit different since Joel and Ellie returned, but today seems to be a particularly bad day for him. You had dinner and now you’re in bed, cuddled into his side while he draws small circles on your back. As much as you want to fall asleep and feel yourself drift off, something about Joel bothers you. The way his digits brush over your skin, his breathing that is steady but somehow labored. 
You lift your heavy eyelids and nuzzle more into his chest. “Joel?” you ask him gently. He answers with a “Mh?” but his voice cracks. Carefully, you sit up straight and detach from his warm body. The barely lit room doesn’t offer much for you to see, but his head is faced away from you. “Joel, look at me. What’s going on?” 
After a short while of hesitation, he faces you. The moonlight enters the room just right for you to see some tears sparkling in his eyes. Your heart aches. What could worry him so much that he would lie there in silence and just… hurt? 
“Baby what’s wrong?” you ask again and gently place a hand on his heart. “Nothin’, I’m fine,” he tries to brush you off. With a tilted head you shoot him a more prying look in hopes to make him tell you.  
With a sigh you lie down on your back and pat on your chest. “C’mere big boy, tell me what’s bothering you.” He sighs deeply himself and turns over. Two giant hands bury under your back as he rests his body on top of you. His head lands on your chest, his torso presses you into the mattress. 
“I don’t understand why I feel so awful about saving Ellie…” he begins. You place one hand on his back, the other on his head to dip your fingers into the silver-brown curls. You play with his hair as he closes his eyes. 
“Well, what goes through your head when you think about it?” you ask. 
“I – I don’t know,” he sighs. “When Marlene told me Ellie would die in the process, I just saw red.” You feel him tense up as the memories replay in his mind. He pulls himself closer into your embrace. “She could’a saved the world but that means I would lose her.” You feel his chest press into yours as his breathing becomes heavier. 
“I can’t lose her, I can’t let go. Fuck,” he starts sobbing, every little hiccup hurts you, not physically but emotionally. “I couldn’t lose another daughter. Sarah was my baby and I was unable to protect her,” he continues as you feel his tears on your skin. You caress his back and keep combing your fingers through his hair, but you stay silent.  
“I thought… having gotten used to this shithole of a world would make it easier for me to look after Ellie. I failed. She’ll hate me for lying to her.” You bend your neck to place a kiss on the top of his hair. “She’ll leave when she finds out. When she realizes I wasn’t strong enough to let her go, to sacrifice herself for a fuckin’ maybe.” 
It’s obvious it weighs him down, it destroys him. You let him cry in your arms, not doing much beside gently running your fingers along his scalp. If he needs to get all of that out, you want him to feel safe to do so. Joel isn’t one to show emotions like this often, he feels like it makes him appear weak. He can be weak with you, vulnerable. 
After a few minutes of Joel just sobbing into your chest, his breathing steadies and he finds his voice again. “I’m sorry. I’m a mess and an awful father.” You shake your head. “Stop it, you’re neither. You did what any father would do, protect his child.” “I hope she sees it the same way.” 
Your fingers trail down to his face and you caress his cheek. “Will you tell her?” “Maybe one day, I don’t know” With an unsteady sigh that still reminds you of his sobbing, he nuzzles into you once again. 
“Am I too heavy?” he asks. It’s like he just now realizes that he’s been lying on you for the last minutes. “It’s fine,” you remind him with a smug expression. “Ain’t the first time you’re on top of me.” His face turns toward you, an equally smug grin on his. “Won’t be the last either, Sugar.” 
“Does that mean you feel better, Baby?” You ask hesitantly. If he’s up for joking he has to feel somewhat okay. “Think so. Keep forgettin’ how good cuddling feels,” he murmurs. “I love it when you hug me like a pillow,” you tell him. And he does indeed hug his pillows like that. It was amusing when you saw him nestled into it like that for the first time. 
“You’re my favorite pillow,” he nods. “Well, right now you’re not really pillowed by anything,” you comment. Technically, his head rests on your sternum, his face is almost buried in one of your boobs. 
“My face is,” he grumbles into your breast and places a kiss on your skin. “Okay, okay,” you sigh. “All better?” 
“All better.” 
“Do you want to stay like this?” 
“If I may.” 
“Of course you do.” 
“I love you.” 
“Love you too, Baby.” 
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