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#i built this with some irl places in mind i knew i will never see again
fleshwizard · 2 years
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And you, where did you spend your lockdown ?
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btsgotjams27 · 1 year
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things you don't know | jjk
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summary: it’s been seven years since you last saw the boy that broke your heart. after moving back home, you try everything you can to avoid seeing him around town, but destiny has a wicked way of doing the opposite.
✨ title: things you don't know | one shot ✨ pairing: jungkook x f!reader | ✨ rating: M/17+ ✨ genre/au: angst | ex best friends!au | ✨ word count: 4.3k ✨ warnings: language, drinking, light kisses, miscommunication, reader jokes about unaliving her other best friend, mentions of throwing up ✨ prompt: “i thought i’d never see you again” ✨ a/n: heyoooo. so this is loosely based off a friendship i had in high school and in case you're wondering (irl) i haven't seen this man in over 17 years (oh gawd i'm old). anyway, thank you to @shina913 for being my beta.
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✨ mini-series masterlist ✨
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You were a fool to believe nothing could tear you and your best friend apart. Just like in the movies you'd watch for hours, you realized you were not the main character; he was. You were only part of the supporting cast, the best friend–not the one he wanted. Someone else had been occupying his mind, his thoughts, and you guessed you weren't privy to know all of him.
You wondered if you became the villain in his story. Were you the other woman? How could you have known if he never told you? He was your best friend. The one you shared everything with–your hopes, dreams, and even the dumbest little details of your life.
And maybe you expected too much. Maybe you had built a world of sunshine and rainbows and believed no storms could ever weather through. Maybe you cared too much, thinking he felt the same.
But at long last, you had become the girl jealous of Josie–the person who took away your best friend.
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The city you lived in had grown vastly the last time you were here. Multiple lanes were added to the highways, and fields of land were cleared out for new homes, shops, and restaurants to try. Though the only thing on your mind was not bumping into him.
His was the only face you didn't want to run into in a city that felt familiar and unfamiliar. It felt silly. You're a grown woman with a car and an apartment–had bills to pay, and running into one person shouldn't haunt you as it did.
You might have done some detective work, going through old high school friends lists on Facebook and Instagram, lurking to see if he would show up. But as you suspected, he didn't exist on social media, so your chances of seeing him increased in your weird little mind.
The old hangout places were on your no-go list. Remember, you're trying to avoid him. He has not been on your mind every waking second, minute and hour. You weren't wondering how he was doing or if he was okay. He didn't deserve to occupy your mind, take all your energy.
But if you were to bump into him, you had a monologue ready to tell him how he had fucked up your mind, spiked all your insecurities, and hoped he and his stupid little girlfriend lived unhappily ever after. He deserved that, at least.
"Did you see Lillie's Instagram post? The one where a bunch of them were out celebrating Josie's birthday?" Lana asked, sipping on her iced vanilla latte. Lana was another high school best friend who didn't stomp all over your heart.
And regarding Lillie's post, it was hard not to see it when everyone you knew was tagged. Some things never change, you guessed. The same circle of friends, the same drama, the same gossip, but then again, you were sitting with one of your oldest friends.
"Yeah, I saw it."
And you also noticed how Jungkook wasn't in any photos. After doing your detective research and scouring through the internet. He was a ghost, not even showing up in tagged photos. You were hoping to get a glimpse of him in the background, but you hadn't seen a picture of him in years, so you had no idea if he had grown into that big 'ol nose of his or if he had gotten those piercings and tattoos he's always wanted. There was no trace of this man, not even in Josie's pictures.
Last you heard, they were still together, and you always rolled your eyes hard, remembering what Jeon Jungkook did to you. Didn't even have the fucking balls to say it to your face, but in a letter instead.
You suspected it was all Josie's fault. Probably afraid you'd steal him away, or he'd prefer to hang out with you. And you understood, he wasn't your boyfriend or anything, just a friend. Ex-best friend, that is. So you supposed any girl that did like Jungkook would be intimidated by your friendship.
"Have you seen Jungkook at all?"
Lana knew what went down–dropping you like a fly, like you didn't exist. She had teased you like a madwoman because you were crushing hard on his friend, Jimin, and somehow ended up befriending Jungkook.
"Nope," you said flatly.
"So, you know how we always talk about Jungkook being untraceable? I think I found him," she said, pulling out her phone.
Your jaw clenched before huffing out a breath. Lana liked to poke the bear when it came to Jungkook. You knew it wasn't intentional, and there was a part that held onto those painful memories because you weren't over what he did to you. Countless nights of questions and if you could've done anything to save your friendship. Wondering what you did wrong and why he picked Josie instead of you. You thought he had feelings and just didn’t want to act on it.
Lana slid the phone over, her two fingers zooming in on a brightened photo. "It's definitely Jungkook," she pointed to a figure in the background.
You narrowed your eyes as she moved the photo around. Your heart skipped a beat. You'd recognize that nose anywhere. It was him. He wasn't a ghost. There was actual evidence that he existed.
"I searched for more photos, but nothing else came up."
You chuckled. "Of course not. Jeon Jungkook doesn't exist on social media. It was never his thing anyway. It was always Josie who liked the attention."
"As a couple, they make no sense to me. What does he see in her anyway?" Lana pondered, sucking up the last of her latte.
Josie was popular and pretty and did every extracurricular activity known to man. Jungkook was quite the opposite: introverted, kept to himself, played games day and night, yet somehow they still ended up together.
"I don't know. Maybe she has a great personality or something," you answered.
She had everything and could’ve had anyone in the senior class, and something always bothered you about their relationship. You just couldn’t put your finger on it.
Lana could see your despair and decided to change the subject. "What are you doing tonight? Jimin is having a small party and was super excited when I told him you moved back."
You narrowed your eyes, your lips thinned. "What are we? In high school again?"
"Come on, babe. It'll be just like old times. I'll even pick you up. I know you hate driving."
It's only been a week since you've moved back. You didn't even know where all of your cute clothes were. "I have nothing to wear." It was the best excuse you could come up with at the moment.
"I got you. Don't worry about it!"
Fuck—you should've opted for a different excuse.
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"I thought you said this was a small party," you said, wearing a dress that was barely covering your ass. You'd get Lana back for putting you in the tightest dress.
"Trust me, this is small." Lana hooked her arm with yours, dragging you to the kitchen, where Jimin poured several soju bottles and sodas into a pitcher. It was quite the concoction.
“How can he afford this place?” you whispered as you stared at the fancy marbled island and large commercial refrigerator.
Lana shrugged. “I don’t think he lives by himself. Probably has roommates or something.”
"Ladies! You're here!" Jimin squealed, setting down the soju bottle. He hugged Lana before greeting you warmly. "Oh—it's so good to see you!" He wrapped his arms around you, moving you from side to side, digging his chin into your shoulder.
"It's good to see you too, Jimin. You're, um, still quite the host." His parties were all the rage in high school, and now that you look back, you're unsure what you saw in Jimin. He was a good guy, a great dancer, but he partied too much for your taste. Maybe you were shallow and just liked him for his looks.
"I have a reputation to uphold." He wiggled his eyebrows, handing you a shot glass. "I call this little drink 'Soju Sunrise.'" He held his glass, waiting for you to clink it against his.
"Here goes nothing." The glasses clack together, and the mixed liquids go down your throat as smooth as silk. Surprisingly, the cocktail is rather tasty, and you hold out your glass for another round.
"Yes! That's my girl!"
After multiple rounds of Jimin's Soju Sunrise, your body loosened up along with your tongue, being quite the chatterbox to everyone hanging around. The alcohol coursing through your veins made catching up with old friends less dull. Though you wish you could've had a sign plastered to you stating your job, why you were back, and what you've been up to. It would've made your life simpler.
As you exited the bathroom, Lana immediately pulled you into an empty bedroom, closing the door behind her.
"What the fuck, Lana?"
"He's here!" she exclaimed out of breath.
"Who?" Confusion sets on your face.
“He-who-must-not-be-named!”
"Voldemort?" You raised a brow, pouting your lips together.
She struck your head. You scowled, rubbing the spot. Still confused, you think back to the crowded room.
A lightbulb finally goes off. You blame the Soju Sunrise for making you an airhead. "You've got to be kidding me."
"She's here too."
Oh, how you'd rather be clawing your eyes out right now. It would hurt less than facing Jungkook and Josie after all these years.
You had your little monologue prepared and ready to go, but you didn't think you'd have to recite it. Did you even remember what you wanted to say?
You looked around the room and sprinted when you saw a window. Your hands fumbled with the lock, but it was too hard to open.
"What are you doing?" Lana asked, her eyebrows knitted together, watching you struggle.
"I'm gonna climb out the window." It was the only sensible thing to do.
"You're so fucking dramatic."
"It's the only way to avoid them."
Lana grabbed your arms and made you look at her. "You are a grown-ass woman. Put on your big girl panties and walk out that door with your head held high."
"But I don't wanna," you pout. "And I'm wearing granny panties." You lowered your head, staring at your dress, picturing the blush-colored panties with a little bow on the front.
"Granny panties with this dress?"
"What? I couldn't find other ones and I like full coverage." Curse you for not unpacking like you should've been doing.
"Would've been better if you went commando."
"Lana! I have some dignity."
"Do you, though? You won't even leave this room and face the one person who broke your heart."
"Thanks, Lana," you said flatly.
"You're welcome!" she smiled, shaking your body. "Come on. You can do this. I believe in you." You rolled your eyes, staring blankly at her. She scanned you from head to toe, then back up to your chest. "Sweetie, we gotta make sure your tits are stunning." She dragged down the top of the dress, ensuring the swells of your breasts were peeking through.
"Lana, I'm not trying to seduce the guy." Okay—maybe you developed a crush on him, but it's not like you were going to make a move, he had a girlfriend for fuck’s sake.
"Yeah, who cares? We're trying to make Josie jealous."
"This is so high school," you comment, digging through your purse for your lipstick.
"Your point is?" Lana blinked.
You huffed. Okay—fine. If this were the only time you'd see Jeon Jungkook and Kim Josie, then fuck it. You could pretend everything was great for five minutes. Your hand went underneath your dress, tugging off your granny panties and tossing them on the ground.
"Holy shit—going commando too?" Lana squealed and clapped excitedly.
Hiking your dress up just a smidge, you were ready to smile and lie through whatever this dreaded conversation would bring up, probably old feelings of hurt and regret.
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You hooked your arm through Lana's, with your shoulders back and head held high. This was it. After all this time, you would face the son-of-a-bitch who broke your heart and the cruel witch who took him away.
You had class—at least, you hoped you did. So, you'd play it cool, be calm and collected. Pretend like you had your shit together.
That is until you turned the corner and immediately spotted them snuggled up in the corner. Josie looked like a lovesick puppy all over him. Jungkook, not so much.
You clutched Lana's arm tighter and came to a halt. You repeated your short monologue in your brain from the bedroom to the living room, but it was as if your mind had wiped everything and your brain's connectors were short-circuiting.
Your eyes glistened as you watched the two. Josie sat on his lap, arms wrapped around his neck, kissing him. Your lower lip quivered, and your stomach sank. You weren't sure if you needed to hurl because of them or because of the soju. Perhaps both.
Jungkook pulled away from her grasp, seemingly annoyed by her show of affection. As soon as he turned away from her, his eyes landed on you.
You flashed a small smile and a wave of your hand. Who knew seeing Jungkook would make you feel the complete opposite of the narrative you had created? In your head, he was a heartless best friend who left you for a wicked witch, but here he was in the flesh and was just that big-nosed, doe-eyed boy whom you shared everything with. You missed him so much and wanted to catch up on life like no time had passed.
Lana turned to you. "Hey, what happened to the bad bitch persona? Aren't you gonna tell him off?"
"I'm so stupid, Lana. I can't do this." So much anger had been building up within the last seven years, but underneath that anger was just a girl who was heartbroken.
Lana nudged you in the ribs. You two watched as he pushed Josie off his lap, causing her to frown. You attempted to let go, but she pulled you in as Jungkook beelined toward you.
"Oh, my god! Jeon Jungkook in the flesh?" Lana said in a dramatic tone. "You do exist! I can't believe it. Well, I'm going to find myself another drink! Have fun catching up with your bestie!" She punched Jungkook's shoulder hard, and he scowled and flinched, massaging the spot.
You pressed your lips together, unsure what to say to him. It's been seven years since you last saw him. Once you graduated from high school, you were out of each other's hair. You were off to college a few hours away, and he stayed in town to attend a local university.
Jungkook cut off all forms of communication. It was like your friendship ceased to exist, which hurt you the most. The last thing you received from him was a measly little letter explaining that he was with Josie and that she didn't want you coming in between their relationship.
You couldn't understand why Jungkook couldn't just talk to you. Josie was never mentioned in conversations, nor did you see him with her, so it felt out of left field. If Jungkook told you he liked someone, you'd never stand in the way of his happiness. You thought he knew you better than that, but maybe you were wrong. Maybe you didn't know each other at all.
"I thought I'd never see you again," Jungkook said, the corners of his mouth curving into a warm smile.
You only paid attention to the glow-up Jungkook had. He did get the lip piercings he wanted, along with the tattoos. You could see them peeking through underneath his gray hoodie hanging off his shoulder. The white tank top defined his taut chest, letting you know he liked to work out. His damp hair curled in all the right places against the nape of his neck and his forehead. The silver chain adorning his neck looked pretty enough to tug on.
"You look great, by the way," Jungkook added, breaking you out of your daze.
"Oh, thanks. So do you." You manage to squeak out finally; then you remember how provocative you looked in your dress compared to sweet, innocent, looking Josie in her pink floral sundress, who was making their way toward you.
"Jungkook, can we please get a drink?" Josie whined, giving you the once over before latching onto Jungkook like the leech she was.
"You remember—"
Josie interrupted, "Yeah–don't remind me. Can we go?"
Josie stormed off toward the kitchen, leaving you and Jungkook behind. Did he have any say in their relationship, or did she tug him around like a puppy on a short leash?
You're stunned but not surprised by her remark. Once a bitch, always a bitch.
Turning your attention back to him, you realize you have nothing to say. The scars from this friendship were carved deeply into your heart; not even the monologue you rehearsed could dissipate the pain he caused.
"I—I gotta go," you said, taking off toward the bedroom because you couldn't fucking leave your underwear on a random stranger's floor. You had to save whatever dignity you had left.
"Wait—" He tried to grab your attention and followed you, walking through the hallway toward a room. He watched you go from one end of the room to the other, searching for something. "What are you doing in my room?"
You straighten your posture, slowly turning to him. "This is your room?"
"Yeah, Jimin and I share this place along with another friend.”
Oh, now you were going to fucking kill Lana. She knew. She must have! That's why she wanted to bring you here. And out of all the rooms, you had to pick Jeon Jungkook’s to leave your underwear in?
"Great," you said in exasperation. You turned back around in search of your panties. "Where the fuck is it?" It could only be in so many places.
"Where's what?"
You got down on your hands and knees, tugging your dress down, looking underneath the bed for your granny panties. "Nothing," you grumbled. "Fuck it. Forget it." You stood, walking past Jungkook. He could have your underwear as a keepsake, you suppose.
"Hey—" He gripped your arm. "Come on. This is how you greet me after all this time?"
You scoffed, glaring at him. "You're fucking kidding me, right? You're lucky I'm even speaking to you. You don't even deserve that."
He lets go of your arm. "We kind of ended on a sour note, but it wasn't my fault."
He couldn't see it, but smoke was fuming from your ears, and you wished your death glare could burn through him and maybe even through Josie. How fucking dare he put all the blame on you? And for what exactly? You might add that you did nothing but be his friend, and he ghosted you like you meant nothing to him.
"So it's my fault?" You assumed he was placing the blame on you. "How is it my fault? Please enlighten me, Jungkook."
He quieted down, cowering his head.
"You showed up holding hands with Josie, then proceeded to not talk to me like a human being and instead wrote me a fucking letter like the coward you are. A letter, for fucks sake. You could've had the common decency to say it to my face."
You walked out of language class, and there they were, hand in hand as you idly watched from behind. And he didn’t even hand you the letter. He had stuffed it in your locker.
Your words took him aback. His recount of how everything went down was different from yours. "I'm sorry," he said. His eyes flicked to yours before looking away.
"Well, it's too fucking late for apologies."
Jungkook called out to you, and you didn't look back, storming away from him. You passed by Lana, telling her you were leaving and that you'd talk to her later.
You ran out the front door, stopping at the sidewalk's edge, remembering that Lana drove. "Fuck," you grumbled, pulling out your phone to grab an Uber.
You were stupid to think Jeon Jungkook wouldn't affect you after all these years. Maybe it's because you haven't dealt with feeling abandoned by him. Maybe you wished you did more for your friendship. Whatever the reason, you knew moving back wasn't a good idea because you’d have to deal with this.
"Hey!" Jungkook called out. You looked over your shoulder and continued walking. He ran in front of you to grab your attention. "Can you talk to me?" he asked, stuffing his hands in the pocket of his hoodie.
"Why don't you fucking write me a letter? Since you're so good at that," you mocked as you shuffled around him. He was a shitty writer who could barely pass Creative Writing without your help.
"That's not fair."
You scoffed, stopping in your tracks to turn back to him. "Run back to your little girlfriend. Don’t you have to get her approval first before talking to me?"
"She's not my girlfriend."
You tut. "Yeah–okay." That was hard to believe, considering she was all over him.
"She's not. We haven't been together for a while now," Jungkook explained.
"You looked pretty cozy earlier."
Jungkook looks at the ground, kicking around an invisible rock. "It's complicated."
"That's great, Jungkook, but I really don't want to hear about your relationship problems. Good luck with Josie and in life. You two deserve each other." You pulled out your phone to see if the Uber was arriving.
Crossing your arms, you walked back toward Jimin's place. You wish you pinned the pick-up location somewhere else, but you'd have to endure his presence longer.
Jungkook followed, giving you some space, stopping when you did. His eyes raked over you. His dimple appeared and disappeared as he licked his lips and chewed on the inside of his cheek.
"When you got your acceptance letter to college, and you decided you were leaving, you didn't bother to ask about what I thought," he said, hands still in his pocket, staring at the ground. Your eyes flickered to him before looking away. He softly chuckled, "I thought to myself, what would I do without my best friend? I had nothing going for me, didn't even know what I wanted to do—still don't know what I want to do. And as much as you make me out to be the bad guy in your story, there are a lot of things you don't know."
You turned away from him as your eyes began to well up. You didn't want to cry before him, rehashing things from so long ago. You let out a shaky breath, trying to contain your emotions.
"Why didn't you say anything?" you asked, using the back of your hand to wipe away the snot threatening to fall.
He shrugged. "I don't know. I would never want to keep you from something that made you happy," he admitted.
You were always open with each other, so you're unsure why this one thing made it seem like he couldn't be honest with you.
"Tell me one thing."
Jungkook hummed.
"Why didn't you tell me about Josie?" It was the one question that lingered since you received his letter.
His lips thinned. "Honestly?" You nodded. "It all happened so quickly. Jimin was throwing a party that night when you told me about going off to college, and I was in my head, overthinking everything. And Josie was there, being sweet and comforting me, and I don't know what came over me. I just kissed her to make myself feel better. Then, the next day at school, she took my hand and told everyone we were together."
"So, let me get this straight? I told you I'm going off to college. You get upset, kiss Josie because you were mad about me leaving, and then end up in a relationship with her?"
"Well, when you put it that way, it sounds ridiculous."
You turned to him, hitting him across the chest several times. He held his hands up to block you. "Because Jeon Jungkook, it is ridiculous! God–you're such—a—" you groaned. "Do you know how much you hurt me? We could've avoided all this if you had just talked to me. Life could've been different for us. You could've come with me, and then we could've been together."
"Together?" He stared at you with his starry brown eyes.
"Yes, you dummy! I liked you, if you couldn't tell. I was going to tell you, but then you and Josie happened, and well, you know how the rest of the story goes."
You closed your eyes and let out a long-awaited breath. It felt like a weight was lifted off your shoulders, getting all this out in the open. You weren't expecting Jungkook to do anything to make you feel better, but at least he could hear what you wanted to say after all these years.
Your uber pulled up and you opened the door, holding onto it as you looked at Jungkook. A glimpse of the boy you once knew still lingered in his eyes. If you could go back and do it all over again, you would've fought harder for him, fought for what the two of you had. It was too precious of a friendship to let go just like that. Unfortunately, life didn't work that way.
There were no forms of time travel or alternate dimensions where the two of you could've lived happily ever after, and there were only the choices you made here and now.
"Bye, Jungkook."
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✨ read part two | read part three ✨
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1K notes · View notes
paddockbunny · 1 year
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list A, #38, toto wolff?
The Arrangement
Summary: Toto and Susie have a rock solid relationship built around pure love, honesty and most importantly trust. So, what happens when you start working as Susie's assistant and a shocking revelation comes to light? Are you willing to be much more trusting and open than you ever thought possible? Rating: 18+. Pairing : Toto Wolff x Reader (+ a little bit of Susie) Word Count : 1,724 (part one of 2) Trigger Warnings : 18+, NSFW, adult material, adult language, discussion of open marriages, polyamory (I think), discussion around sex but nothing too heavy 💞Authors Note : This is a work of pure fiction and is intended to be taken as such. I never usually write about IRL WAG's but there is only a small hint about Susie in this and mainly focuses on Toto. *Please tell me if this comes across as super cheesy? Part 2 is better, promise. I couldn't work out how to get the line in.
Prompt : List A #38 : "Is there a reason you're in my bed?"
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“Shit!” You sigh trying to change the ink on the printer but only making your fingers more stained from the cartridge you had just removed. You groaned as you tried to get the new one into place and hear a click to signify your trial had come to an end and you could tell your boss Susie to try hitting print again.  “Come on….” You moaned as you desperately tried to get the damn click. You were new. One singular month under your belt as Susie’s assistant. And while she was lovely you didn’t want to disappoint her. You needed this job. Not for any financial reasons but because it got your parents off your back about wasting your business degree. Working for the Wolff’s (the most powerful couple in motorsport) would look good on your CV, that was for sure. You rattled the cartridge back and forth waiting for it to…*click* “YES!” You cry out gleefully as your task was done. Inky fingers were the product of your hard work.  “Try it now!” You yell out of the stunning masculine office which you hadn’t quite taken in till now. 
You were standing in Toto Wolff’s home office. Alone. It felt strange. Illegal almost. The room was undoubtably manly with its dark royal blue walls, sleek chrome finishings and black and white photography adoring the walls. It was unmistakably Toto (the trophies on the built in shelves really gave it away) even if you barely knew him. You were around almost constantly. 8am till 8pm were your official hours but you were here, in their home so often you became like a permanent feature along with their sons nanny and the housekeepers. Which was why it was a little odd you didn’t actually see more of the famous Toto Wolff. Actually, thinking about it you were sort of glad he worked so hard and was away so much. It would have been awkward with him around. Having a silly school girl crush on your employers husband couldn’t be a good thing could it? He wouldn’t ever stray (that much was very true) but it wouldn’t be good for your mind if you thought too much about what your life would look like if he did. 
“Hey, is it working?” Susie appeared in the doorway smiling as usual. You glanced across at the desk with the printer on it and it was indeed working just perfectly. Only thing was, she had caught you staring at some of her husbands things. You had to try cover it up. “Sorry, I was just admiring some of these uh…keepsakes.”  “Pretty cool huh?” She came fully into the room and eyed up some of the items herself before pointing a few out and giving you the backstory.  “And this…this belonged to Niki. Niki Lauda.” She pointed at the red cap in a clear glass box. “Niki was a very close friend. He was a sort of mentor to Toto. He was Jack’s Godfather.” She explained and although you of course knew this (being a motorsport fan) you couldn’t help but find it touching she was so open to talk about something so personal with you. "He would have liked you. He had a thing for beautiful women." You felt your cheeks begin to blush at her words. You felt so at ease in her presence this news you would have been the type of a racing giant was nothing more than super flattering. So you when you found yourself turning away to stifle a yawn you couldn’t believe how bad it must have looked. 
“Oh God, I’m so sorry!” She exclaimed as she looked at her watch after your rather obvious omission of tiredness. “It’s after eleven. You’ve been here since seven thirty this morning. I’m so sorry.” She kept apologising and although you felt like you were going to drop any minute you kept telling her you were fine. “Listen, why don’t you take a rest. Toto can drive you home when he gets back. I can’t believe I lost track of time like that.” 
You were hesitant at first to accept her offer. It was a little strange to catch forty winks in someone else’s home. But she practically ushered you straight toward a bedroom and you felt your body relaxing at the sight of the luxurious looking cotton sheets on the big bed.  “I can’t, I feel so bad…”
“Don’t. Honestly. Toto will drive you home when he gets back.” She smiled and slowly closed the door behind her. The room was illuminated only by the moonlight streaming in through the open window. The room was light coloured, you could tell that much. It had a vibe of an upmarket hotel and smelled absolutely incredible. It reminded you of something. A man’s cologne or something. It was woody, musky, but with an airy lightness you simply loved. You kicked off your plain white trainers and lay down on top of the bed as if it was a welcoming bear hug. You didn’t waste time looking around. Your body shivered out of tiredness so badly you would have dove head first into the big inviting bed if you could have, but instead you lay down on top of it carefully as not to disturb the sheets too much. 
Sound asleep was what you were when you heard the faint clearing of a throat. You barely even stirred as the noise was made again. You were dreaming of being on a tropical island being served a blue cocktail by a cabana boy as he fanned you with one of those old fashioned fans you only ever saw in movies. Your eyes slowly adjusted as you “came too” and immediately wished you hadn’t woken from your slumber at all. Standing there, leaning over you like some big, dark shadow was the figure of Mr Wolff - and not like the one in the fairytale. You were just about to swear when he spoke first. 
“Is there a reason you’re in my bed?” His accent was thick. His voice was low and rough. In different circumstances it would have made your stomach flip. Frantically you wracked your brain for a good reason as to how you came to be in his bed, of all places. You were tired seemed like the surest way to get you fired. But as you’re brain worked overtime suddenly you saw the expression on Toto’s face change as he took in the sight of you still lying on top of the covers. It dawns on you that he’s now smirking at you and you couldn’t put into words how nervous you had become. It was most certainly nerves down to who he was, in motorsport and business, but also because you found him so undeniably hot. There was something about him that you couldn’t help but find sort of irresistible - even though you were literally employed by this man’s wife and that was enough of the lusty talk about him to last a lifetime. Toto just had this presence and aura that commanded a space and right now it was commanding this (his) bedroom. 
Then right in front of your eyes his features start to soften and he began to smirk at you at you. The action makes you nervous.  “Please forgive me…” you rush to get up and be suddenly sits down beside you, so close it was as if he was holding you in place. You went to explain to him his wife had offered me a chance to lay down and rest after I had overworked but he silenced you.  “You don’t need to explain or ask forgiveness.” His voice had lowered and was now so thick with a tone you couldn’t work out. The whole scene must would have looked completely bonkers and bizzare. It would have been even stranger at the fact you didn't even move. Toto took a deep inhale of breath and on the exhale said “fuck it”. 
“You’ve worked for us for….a month now?” He asked and you couldn’t do anything but nervously nod. He was so close to you his body was touching your leg. You tried not to think about it as he continued; “I’m going to tell you something, it’s private and a part of the confidentiality clause we had you sign.” Oh God, what was he going to say? What were you going to have to pretend you had never heard? How would you cope if you were asked about this? He was so confident in his posture you deduced it couldn’t possibly be something bad, illegal or dangerous. 
“My wife and I...” he paused and cast his eyes up and down your face as if he were trying to get a read on you before continuing “We have an open marriage.” OH FUCK! He gave you zero time to process again because he was already following it up with; “Do you know what that means?” Before you could stop yourself from getting whiplash. This was absolutely not what you thought Toto would have come out with when he was stood over you only moments ago. You snapped back to his question and although you sort of did know what that meant you still shook your head as a “no” which he seemed to delight in 
“We get to fuck other people.” That was when you realised Toto’s hand had come to sitting on your thigh. You didn’t say or do anything.  “She’s had a few drivers, none I would worry about, but me? I’ve not really indulge.” Your brain suddenly went completely and utterly blank, trying not to zone in on the word "indulge" as if fucking other women was like a tasty slice of chocolate cake. But your brain swirled as all you could think of was how warm his hand felt on your thigh (even through your smart but tight trousers). You were sure you weren’t reading this right and he actually meant he wanted you to help find him someone one appropriate for him to do, well, whatever he wanted with. 
As you felt the temperature rise a few notches at the X-Rated confession (and revelation) that your employers were in an open relationship was continuing to blow your mind you began to wonder why he was suddenly telling you this all now. Why did you even need to know this in the first place? Besides you figured they were rock solid, as solid as they came in fact. Surely they weren’t “seeing other people”? But then you weren’t stupid, you knew about open relationships, usually that was totally based on love and trust not at all like they were in the break-up sphere. 
“Mr Wolff, I don’t know if I’m reading this right…” you whipped back to your earlier stream of thought so fast it almost gave you whiplash considering you we’re all kinds of stressed now you were being pulled so quickly into their inner sanctum. But Toto was still smirking - somewhat arrogantly now - at you. In that moment, Toto’s eyes flickered down to your lips and back up. It was becoming more obvious to you as to his motives.  
“How are you reading it?” His voice changed and was darker than before but the amusement still remained . “That I want to fuck you?” He asked. You weren’t quite so bold enough to answer him that yes, that was your assumption. 
“Because I do." He said directly "I want to fuck you."
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asherlockstudy · 6 days
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I am really glad that I am not the only one seeing Wonderhole for what it actually is.
How many of us are there? How many people are really seeing the obvious the hidden layers of meaning in it? How many understand it for what it's truly meant to be?
I want to talk about episode 2 in the specific.
Episode 2 as a concept captures the essence of what I personally always thought was the whole point of putting hidden stories in scripted content for them.
(with hidden stories I am referring, of course, to the secret romance focused overarching narratives infused in the scripted content that came out before Wonderhole).
I always thought that the purpose was an artistic and ceremonial expression of something that was important to them but they couldn't show the world explicitly.
Something that had intrinsic value simply because they had created it together, to celebrate their love and creaivity even if it's true meaning remained buried and undiscovered for years and years, possibly forever.
Like in the episode, by making Wonderhole and previous scripted videos, they built a treasure hunt with clues and that led to ... no real final reward.
There is no reward for them or (anyone) at the end for deciphering the clues, finding the metaphorical treasure chest and opening it.
Like in the episode, the treasure chest is empty, and nothing comes out of it, because the treasure and inherent value, is in the treasure hunt itself and the experience that they have created for themselves (and us). Which they allude to when they talk about the reason for not putting anything in there.
It's interesting to note that even Rhett and Link, themselves have to keep that in mind not to get to saddened and disappointed by it. It's about the journey rather than the destination.
There clearly is one big reward though, even if some might say it's a bittersweet ending.
By doing all of this, they have become timeless.
(The picture of them that is placed on the box at the very end is taken by that background character while talking about Rhett and Link being timeless for a reason).
Because there is something that does end up in that box, and it's the real reward. In fiction their combined essences/ minds (a symbol for their thoughts, feelings and creativity) are resting in that box together, fused, and unlike their bodies they will never age and continue living forever. That's their reward. They are "timeless", and they have become timeless together. By choice, and there is nothing more romantic than that. And this is a great metaphor for what is happening irl as a result of them making all of this and putting it into the world.
It's even more powerful than "Unitl death do us part". Because like in the episode, not even after death, they will ever truly be apart. Their love is timeless. Preserved in this time capsule they have created and put on the internet (I'm talking about Wonderhole and their creative projects). They have become timeless together by making art that celebrates their love and they are aware of it. It's really poetic and I wish people knew about this!
That's beautiful Anon. And wow, like we say in my country, you're gonna live many years because I was just about to post my next Wonderhole analysis within the next few hours, so my detailed take will be there! I am adding a screenshot of my draft here just so one won't think I am bullshiting and taking other people's ideas
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(please ignore that I started writing this at 3:30 AM)
Of course we are very close, maybe not a 100% match because I am always on the look out for specific One Story parallels, however your interpretation is either partly or completely what Rhett and Link must have conceptualized. It does not make sense any other way.
How many understand it...well... not many, I fear.
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kinetic-elaboration · 2 years
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March 5: Don't Worry Darling
Finally watched Don’t Worry Darling, and you know what, I was pleasantly surprised. I’d had such initial high hopes but then some middling reviews and allllll that drama just really made my expectations deflate, and when I sat down to watch I figured, well, at least it will be pretty. But honestly, I quite enjoyed it.
It was enjoyable to watch, didn’t seem to drag or make me bored, built the creepiness at a pretty steady pace, and had a really great aesthetic: the outfits, the sets, the music, were all so beautiful and just really so precise without any missteps. And I enjoy a beautiful picture.
The story was not exactly something groundbreaking and new, but I have no problem with a classic tale told a new way, or even just in a new setting. Yes, it’s Stepford Wives, yes it has a lot of utopia-turned-dystopia elements that we’ve seen many times, and yes it has that ‘it’s tech!!’ twist that I was semi-spoiled for, but that’s fine. I have low patience for media that I feel is just tropes lazily stitched together but when they’re mixed up in a new way, with actors I like and in a setting that’s beautiful, I’m fine with the classics, remixed.
Also I love Florence Pugh. Never a misstep. Always magnetic to watch.
And I thought, in my biased way, that CPine was very well cast because it’s easy to believe that someone with eyes like the deep end of the pool would become a sort of cult leader. I mean he was very charismatic.
The aspect that I thought was the most interesting, and that will require some thought and/or a rewatch to wrap my thoughts around was the question of whose fantasy was being played out and how. What I was expecting was basically a men-trap-the-women scenario, the women are Stepford Wives, forced to be the subservient helpers, kept from any sort of power or independence like jobs or the ability to drive, and the men are the breadwinners and the head of house etc. etc. And so if it turns out to be fake in some way—and it’s pretty obvious it’s fake and probably fake in a simulation/computer program way, given the types of glitches going on—then it’s a prison created by the men for their own pleasure and egos. And yet it’s not quite that way. First, there’s Bunny, who knew and chose the simulation, and I liked that that was included, because to be honest, I can see how that life would be a fantasy, that you could get things there you couldn’t IRL: beauty, for example, or simplicity. I mean ‘50s housewife’ is a straight up kink real people really have lol. And the whole place does look appealing as its first introduced: that’s the concept of utopia-turned-dystopia. The reason she gives for wanting the illusion hints at something tragic and awful, and it would make sense, if she did lose her children, that she would give up anything to have them again, even her own reality. So even though it was just rather quick at the end, there was a twist to the narrative there.
But more importantly: what male fantasy is this? It was so intriguing to me that the men did not live in Victory. They have complete control over the situation—complete at least as compared to the women—and they exert it in really gross and horrific ways. The intrusion on the body and the mind. Making their partners feel crazy if they get any hint of what’s happening. Taking away every possible choice or bit of bodily autonomy they have. At least Alice was with her real-life partner and didn’t have fake kids. Whose fantasy is it for Peg to be “always pregnant”? And how many of the married couples even KNOW each other IRL? And yet, the men also do no live in Victory full time. They have these pathetic real lives that they obviously hate, so of course they’d want the 50s planned town fantasy. But they only go there in the evening. During the work day they’re somewhere else—outside of the simulation, in the real world—and they’re doing something. They’re “working every day to afford it” and “hating it.” What do they do??? What keeps them in this situation? That the simulation is so great when they are in it? That it’s hard to leave? That they’re indebted in some way? Is the fantasy Victory at all or the idea that they are white knights for their women?
Because that’s a really common male fantasy, too, right? Being the savior of women. Being the problem solver and provider and hero. Alice must be unhappy because she works so hard. Wouldn’t she be happier in this perfect house with nothing to worry about but cooking and cleaning and gossip? Or is that just a story he tells her because HE wants dinner made for him and sex on the dining room table? Is it a story he tells himself, so he can have all of the above: the clean house and subservient wife and also the sacrifice of working for the dream and also the martyr complex that he is really helping her?
None of this is a defense of any of the men, by the way. I’m not saying oh poor guy his ego was crushed by losing his job and having a partner who’s better than him and so he has no choice but to totally strip her of her free will and autonomy. I just thought that it was a deeper exploration of what the injury is to both parties and what the cause of the injury is, what was exploited in the men, than I was expecting.
One thing I didn’t like, and it was largely the only thing, was Shelley killing Frank at the end, because it felt like it was a distraction from the ending, and brought confusion to the story. I don’t mind if stories leave questions unanswered, especially stories like this one that are more about the conceit than about answering all the specifics. But they need to have the confidence to know what they are about. What is the core narrative? That narrative should be resolved and questions pertaining to it should be answered. Everything else should be set aside. So, here, the narrative is Alice’s awakening and escape. We know what HER life is in realty, we know how she comes to learn the truth, and then at the end we have her daring escape. It’s interesting to speculate on, but unimportant to know, things like what happens to the bodies or how exactly the tech works or what was Margaret’s ultimate fate. Similarly, it’s unimportant to know what happens to Victory without Alice. Shelley killing Frank wasn’t necessary for Alice’s escape. He wasn’t chasing her and he wasn’t in control of his goons in any specific way. So killing him got me thinking about all of these other things, and expecting all of these other last minute plot points, that weren’t important to Alice’s story and that were just a distraction at that point: stuff like what happens to the bodies, where is Frank IRL, what is his relationship to Shelley, what does she know and what is her role in the simulation, why does she think he is a stupid man, what is she planning on doing with Victory, how long has she been planning or fantasizing about a takeover, etc., etc., etc.
But ultimately this is a small point. Overall, I didn’t mind, even liked, that many questions were left unanswered, including how exactly the simulation works, what Frank is like in real life, what the men do outside Victory, what promotions mean, how the women are ‘recruited,’ who Shelley really is, how the cracks in the façade happened for Alice, to what extent the hallucinations she experiences are accidents and to what extent they are planned (perhaps as a way to silence or scare her), and what happens to Victory after.
Another thing I’d need a rewatch to get coherent thoughts on is the question of kids: that Alice doesn’t have them but Jack suggests a child at a time when he is afraid that she is learning too much, that Frank mentions kids to Alice, that none of the kids are real, that losing a child is a method of control over Margaret, and so on. I suppose having a simulated child would bring Alice farther into the construct, give her a reason to stop poking around and want to stay—attachment to the child that seems real—and maybe it’s no more deep than that.
I also want to repeatedly watch the conversation with Frank and Alice. Obviously, it’s menacing. A part of me thinks he was just setting her up to watch her fall—encouraging her to make a grand gesture so that he could immediately shut it down and paint her as a lunatic, putting everyone on his side, making them defensive, and priming them to accept it when Alice “goes away for treatment” for her obvious illness. In other words, he never sees her as a threat, because he knows he’s in control of her entire environment, but he wants to hurry along her inevitable fall, and he does it by imbuing her with false confidence. But then another part wonders if some part of what he was saying to her was true—if he does want to be challenged. But to what end? And why from Alice—why not Shelley, who’s obviously not dumb?
Anyway, that's a lot of thoughts. I need to go back to work tomorrow, and I'm not prepared for this week.
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yoongsisbae · 3 years
Text
Caught! House of Cards - Chapter 3
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You joined a website to make some quick and easy cash. Men paying to look at you, harmless fun, right? Little did you know how dangerous the members of House of Cards were. Watch out! Houses built with cards come tumbling down…
OT7 yandere!BTS x reader / Namjoon x Taehyung x reader this chapter
Oh, I was dying writing this chapter so I think I wrote it well? Heh there’s a lot going on, so you have been warned lol. Also hope to post HOAL soon, that is if BTS would stop attacking me with all these sexy bad boy photoshoots that scream C!HOC mens. Sorry, but can you really blame me? :(
Warnings: 18+ dark themes, reader manipulation, scary yandere behavior, voyeur, masturbation, lots of drinking and drunkenness, dubcon, dry humping on the dance floor lol, this is pretty filthy, all of them are horny, dom!Namjoon, dom!Taehyung, Tae’s a lot, shibari, bondage, blindfold, rough sex, edging, multiple orgasms, threesome, degradation, Yoongi continues to be a meanie, slut shaming, extreme regret for reader that could be triggering I think, tell me if I need to tag anything else
PSA: to reiterate, this is a yandere fic, this is all fantasy, this is scary, no one actually wants this to happen to them irl. But I’m also here for you if you wanna enjoy some hot fictional villains, alright? I got u boo.
Word Count: 8.7k
Playlist: Rotimi - Push Button Start // Shenseea - Blessed (with Tyga) // ROSALIA - Con Altura // Sean Paul - Go Down Deh // Afro B - Drogba // Aya Nakamura - Pookie // DJ Nelson - PAPI //J Balvin - Amarillo // SUPA NYTRO - Tik Pon Cock // Paris Lain - Way (links here)
---
“P-please...”
“Please what?”
“Please let me cum, Daddy.”
He groans in your ear. “Hmm no.” He pulls his fingers out of you, you hold onto the banister as your orgasm escapes you. Your body shakes with need.
“You’ll come find me later tonight, won’t you, baby girl?” His warmth leaves your body, when you turn around no one is there.
---
Your legs are still shaking as you make your way downstairs. You tried not to think about the slick between your thighs as you descended each step, or think about RM’s warm breath against your ear. No, you won’t think about his deep voice that makes you shiver still, or the way he massaged your neck like he had done it a hundred times before...out of all the weird fucked up things you thought could happen tonight, never ever did you expect to meet RM again.
He reminded you of all the reasons why you allowed yourself to fall deeper into that kind of exhibitionistic lifestyle as a carded member. The money was good, but the sweetest rewards were corporal. The saccharine praise your admirers would give you became addicting. You even became close to some of them, for an extra fee.
What was it your old school counselor would say? It wasn’t about the destination, the real reward was the friends you made along the way. Except your new friends told you all their dirty filthy desires and watched as you would get off for them. You learned quickly your sexual appetite was ravenous, the more you indulged the worse it got. You had been starved for attention for so long, quarantine only amplifying your loneliness, and the dark site fed you well.
RM also reminded you of all the reasons why you left. You still don’t understand how you fell so deep so fast, let digital become physical when you promised yourself you wouldn’t. The House Rules made the descent into filth almost inevitable. During your only experience inside The House, you had been shown truths you didn’t want to face, depravities you enjoyed. After that night you went home, showered away your sins until your skin burned, logged out and never logged back in. It was the best way to end your addiction to House of Cards, end it cold turkey.
You were not prepared for this again. You were not prepared for how much you craved it.
---
The party became wild. Your body now hyper aware of everything after RM worked you up so skillfully and denied you any release. The music reverberates throughout the halls, the beats of the bass clashes with the pounding in your head. The smell of drugs and sex assaults your nostrils, and every time a dancer bumps into you, your body remembers RM’s touch.
So many bodies around you and you feel all alone like an outcast. Where’s Yoongi? You're beginning to miss that annoying smirk and the overconfident man attached to it, you could use some of that confidence right now.
As the room spins around you, your eyes find the place where you had been standing. You’re disappointed it’s empty. Not that you knew what RM looked like, but you feel like you’d recognize him as soon as you saw him, a man like that would look like walking sin.
You shift your upward gaze to the gold ropes hanging from the ceiling, eyes traveling down until you meet the glistening body of a woman. She’s so beautiful it makes you ache, arms secured behind her back, her leg extended and tied high, her other leg bent and pressed to her side and her spread open for everyone to see.
You play with the pendant around your neck, and you can’t help but imagine yourself in her position, tied up for everyone to see, for Yoongi to watch. You’re soaking. You need a drink.
---
“Hey,” you bump into Yoongi’s side as you sit down, grabbing his whisky glass and downing what’s left. The burning liquid makes you grimace, face scrunching up in distaste.
He pulls the glass from your grip, looking you up and down, sharp eyes narrowing, “Where have you been?”
“I got lost.” His arm snakes around your waist. His touch feels good, you don’t want to admit how much your body yearns for more, wants to be wanted. “Where are Jimin and Hobi?”
“Dancing,” Taehyung interjects as he gets closer to you, offering you another glass of champagne. You take it gratefully, sipping on the sweet liquid, anything to numb the ache you feel inside.
His eyes sparkle as he scrutinizes you up close, examining your dark makeup and tight dress. He wants to smear the red lipstick on your lips with his fingers, and his mouth, and his cock. He wants to stain your pretty black dress with his cum, let the milky white fluid drip all over the black silky fabric, between your breasts-
“I’m sorry, what is your name again?”
You ask him so innocently, Taehyung can forgive you for forgetting. Jungkook on the other hand, silently simmers with rage, especially when Yoongi smirks at him, sitting pressed to your side like a lover would.
“Taehyung,” The man gives you a big wide smile, “that's Seokjin,” he points to the tall man who keeps his distance, “and this,” he hits Jungkook’s chest and pulls him into a headlock, “is Jungkook!” Taehyung leans in to whisper in your ear, “a big fan.”
Your eyes go wide, did you hear him correctly? You watch the two play fight. Jungkook punches his older friend in the side a bit harder than he was expecting, earning a yell from Taehyung. They act cute, you think, Jungkook looks too innocent, you can’t believe he had watched you in his free time.
Hoseok and Jimin find their way back into the group. “Y/n, you’re back! Yoongi was about to send out a search party for you.” Yoongi rolls his eyes, and you lean your chin onto your palm, raising your eyebrows at him, trying to hide your smile at the way they tease him.
“Is that so?” His fingers pinch the flesh of your back at your retort, making you squirm at the ticklish sensation. When you try to pull his hand away, he takes the opportunity to intertwine your fingers together, pulling you firmly to his side.
You look down at Yoongi’s hand in yours, resting on your hip. Without the alcohol cursing through your veins you might have pushed him off you, but instead you sit buzzed and docile. He acts so possessive of you in front of the others, it makes your heart race. “Well I’m here now.”
“I’ll cheers to that!” Jimin fills everyone’s drinks. 7 glasses clang together and they cheer, making you giggle as you down the glass. One cheers becomes two, and then another bottle comes, until you're welcoming back that hazed state of mind that feels so freeing. The background fades away and the booming music around you becomes muffled as you try your best to focus on the conversation, until you realize you’re in Yoongi’s lap, his veiny hands dancing around your exposed thigh. He says something you can’t hear, so you tilt your head back, resting on his shoulder, whining out a slurred, “what!”
“You’re having too much fun.” He suppresses the urge to move his fingers higher, instead tracing lazy circles into your leg, making you twist in his lap, lips parting as you enjoy the sensation. Your body feels heavy from inebriation, so you lean your weight onto him more, focused on his cold rings against your warm skin.
You move your head closer to his. “You wanted to bring me here, right?” you laugh, and you swivel your body against him, grinding into his lap to the tempo of the music. Yoongi notices the others' heated stares, so he shifts his leg, pressing his hands into your thighs, opening your legs wider, and you’re too drunk to notice or care.
Yoongi tries to hold onto his thinning composure, how many times had he thought of you like this? So receptive and needy in his arms. He enjoys your torturous hip rolls, reveling in the fact that the sight tortures his audience even more. But you’re not really paying attention to that, your body only responding to how the music beat hits so well, his growing erection encouraging you to keep rubbing up against him like a cat in heat.
“Y/n, let's go dance!” Hoseok calls out to you over the music. His request pulls you from your trance. You sit up, shaking the clouded haze from your mind.
“Dance? Okay!” You let Hoseok pull you to your feet, stumbling slightly into him.
You turn to Yoongi, “You don’t mind, do you?” you ask, ready to start a fight. He glares at you. You sway on your feet and glare back. Such a brat, he thinks, you’ll just have to be taught a lesson later. Yoongi picks up his whisky and waves you off.
---
The dance floor is hot and alive with writhing bodies. You let Hoseok roll his hips into you from behind, your own hips following his movements. His toned arms lock around you, holding you, as he pulls your body lower and lower, until you’re crouched to the floor, your bodies connecting again and again as he rubs his hardening bulge into your ass to the beat.
It feels so so good, his warm body on you, seeking pleasure from one another. Every roll and buck helps to release the frustration RM did to you.
Hoseok’s hands pull your dress higher so you can spread your knees wider. He holds the bunched up fabric to your core to keep what’s left of your modesty, and your arms reach behind you to hook around his neck to keep yourself steady.
Hoseok is such a good dancer, masterfully guiding your loose body. You pull and push each other along to the sensual music, shifting your weight against your combined center of gravity as your bodies heat up in each other’s embrace.
Hoseok moves the hair from your neck away, blowing air on the back of your neck. His hand cups your breast, fondling you out in the open, “You like when I do this to you, don’t you Dahlia?” You’re too drunk to catch the pseudonym he uses.
You close your eyes focusing on his hands groping your body, your fingers fisting into his hair, pulling him closer, and his tongue licks off the sweat on your neck. Hoseok knows all the ways to leave you delirious with lust, hands running up and down your body, massaging your curves and leading your hips to meet his. If he’s making you feel this good with your clothes on, you can only imagine how amazing he’d be in bed, hips rolling against you as he fills you up with his stiff cock...
You’re so focused on Hoseok you don’t realize another body moving closer to you, another pair of hands on you, until Taehyung presses himself into your front.
The music fills your head, the dirty words being sung encouraging you to release all your inhibitions. Your arms reach out to run up Taehyung’s abdomen, up and up his chest, loving the feel of his muscles under your fingers.
He places your arms around his neck as he moves forward, his leg slotting between yours. With Hoseok grinding against your back and Taehyung rubbing against your front, you feel like you’re going to combust. The crowd around you is a blur, but everything about them feels so solid, so hard against you. Caged between them, you submit to every caress, every touch from both men.
Taehyung holds the back of your head to keep your eyes on him as Hoseok leaves open mouth kisses on your shoulder. Taehyung’s thumb caresses your cheek, “You’re so beautiful.” his mouth slides across your jaw, under your ear, licking and nibbling at your lobe, giving you goosebumps, “You’re the most beautiful woman here.”
You place your finger over his mouth pushing him away, too embarrassed to hear more, but your hips can’t help but push into him at the praise.
“Come with me,” he pulls you away from Hoseok, his friend winking at him behind your back, and you foolishly follow him through the sea of dancing bodies.
---
Pulling you into a dark corner, he cages you in before you can protest. Lips finding your neck, hooking a finger under your choker, pulling up, forcing your neck to tilt so he can reach more skin. Even if you want more, you still have some sense left in you to know letting Yoongi’s friend do this to you in front of everyone is a bad idea. “W-wait. Yoongi will-”
Taehyung’s arm slams into the wall. The noise startles you into silence. It’s Yoongi, always Yoongi. What about him? He steadies his breathing after noticing your wide eyes.
“Y/n, do you know who I am?” He leans onto the wall hovering over you, dark eyes peering down at you as he waits for your answer.
You feel your stomach drop under his intimidating gaze. “Should I know who you are?”
He answers your question with another question, “Do you know who Yoongi is? Do you really have no idea?” His interrogation takes you aback.
“He’s one of my...v-viewers...”
“Yes, who? You never thought to ask, baby?” Taehyung looks at you so accusingly, you feel ashamed that you can’t answer him.
“Who is he?” You ask.
He smiles, a twisted grin that makes you feel uneasy. Eyes lighting up darkly once his suspicions were proved right.
“How about this, since we both have so many unanswered questions, why don’t we play a game? I’ll answer one of your questions and then you answer one of mine. I’ll even let you go first.” His playful demeanor is back, fingers playing with the ends of your hair.
“Who are you?”
Taehyung smiles wide. You asked the right question. “I go by V.”
What? “You’re V?”
---
You log into the House of Cards website, open your account to a litany of unread messages. Your eyes skim through them, and one catches your eye. It’s V, the second highest donator from the other night’s stream.
V: you looked so beautiful the other night. I hope to see another broadcast soon...for next time?
V sent you an eighty dollar donation and a link to a lingerie set: pink lace, a sheer see-through pattern on the cups with a matching lace thong and garter belt.
You’ve bought lingerie for men before, for then boyfriends on your anniversaries or Valentine’s day dates, but you’ve never had a man buy you lingerie before. With shipping you’ll still have money left over, so you decide to add some more things in your basket to surprise him for being such a generous donor. It’s not because you had enjoyed his compliments the most during your stream, no. You found a cute pair of thigh high socks and some stick on rhinestones, coming up with a plan to get V’s attention. You squeal once the order goes through, ‘time to arts and craft in this bitch.’
You open his message again, fingers hovering over the keyboard, what should you say? Should you make it sound sexy or cute? ‘C’mon y/n, just flirt.’
Dahlia: Thank you, V. I will wear it for my next broadcast. Just for you sexy <3
Ew ew. No. Before pressing enter you delete the last sentence.
Dahlia: Thank you, V. I will wear it for my next broadcast. See you soon ;)
You go through all your messages, in a much better mood than you’ve been in a long time. You bop your head to the music that flows through your speakers in your living room while coming up with different replies to each new viewer.
It feels good to be stress free, you think, while sipping on cup ramen because you’re still waiting until your earnings clear your account to buy groceries. You’ve managed to answer every message when a new notification dings. V attached a picture.
V: I can’t wait.
Holy... A picture of a shirtless man from the neck down pops up. He’s not overly muscular, but he’s lean and toned, with defined pecs and v-line. Mmm. ‘V’ indeed. His jeans are unbuttoned. His legs spread wide, as if he were inviting you to sit on his lap.
You’re being catfished, you surmise. This man has to be using someone else’s pictures. Or he has a face only a mother could love. Either way, you’ll play with this fantasy. it’s not like you’ll actually ever meet in real life.
So you decide to play along, it’s not like you had work to go to, or anything to do really. Locked up in your tiny home alone and slowly going stir crazy would lead to some unfortunate decisions for you. One of the worst, allowing V to get so close to you.
Abandoning your snacks, you grab your laptop and run to the bedroom, jumping on your bed. Your laptop opens to another risque photo, his jeans zipped even lower. Hand grabbing a very defined bulge resting inside his pants leg. Well fuck.
Dahlia: is that really you?
V: yes baby
V: I wish you were here with me right now. I would make you feel so good, just like you deserve.
V: How about you, am I turning you on?
You clench your legs together instinctively.
Dahlia: you are.
V: are you touching yourself?
Should you lie? You could. But the pictures and his words are doing something to you, you feel jitters and a quick pace and a throbbing core. Suddenly you have an idea.
Dahlia: why don’t you see for yourself?
You create a private room, aim your camera down, mirroring the same angle in V’s picture and send the link to him. You pull the front of your sundress down to show more cleavage and the hem up to show more leg, and you wait.
There’s a notification: ‘1 new viewer.’
V: you look so pretty, you look like a doll
V: I wish I was there.
“Yeah? What would you do to me?”
V: I would spread your legs
You spread your legs at his words. Your stream plays in Taehyung's bedroom, he watches intently, and when your panties come into view he pulls his jeans down to his thighs freeing his hard erection, slowly stroking himself to the sight of your body.
V: fuck, so good baby. being so good for me.
V: I would take off your panties. slowly
You follow his commands and slowly remove your underwear. You like being told what to do, you imagine he’s on the bed with you, telling you everything, guiding your pleasure.
V: touch yourself for me
V: you’re wet already? how cute
V: that’s a good girl, just like that
V: imagine it’s me. my fingers stuffed inside of you, giving you everything you want
V: you’re mine and mine only
V: you’re going to be mine to kiss and fuck. I’ll take care of you baby doll, make you cum all over my fingers. You want that too?
V: you're so pretty baby, you like putting on a filthy show for me? desperate little girl
V: open your legs wider
V: doing so well for me, stay just like that. you’re driving me crazy
V: cum for me
You pulse, moaning out loud, reaching your high. When your lust filled haze clears you don’t feel dirty like before, you feel good. Even better when V sends you another eighty dollar donation.
Taehyung played sweet and affectionate very well. When talking to other House members you’d try your best to keep things as vague as possible, but sometimes you’d let certain things slip with V, and he always listened so well. Shit, he treated you better than your ex. He’d send you sweet messages, gifts, and the hottest body shots. He would do that often, it made you needy for more affection. He was a part of a small group of viewers that you’d offer special private streams to. Little did you know your carefree playdates were Taehyung’s obsessions.
---
Taehyung feels a special kind of gratification at the way you gawk at him, stunned into silence. “Now my turn,” Taehyung’s expression goes from playful to serious in an instant, “Why are you here with Yoongi?”
You swallow, this was V all along. You teetered between happiness and unease, you remembered all the sweet memories you had with him, but this man was still a stranger to you. He keeps staring at you, is this how he looked watching you through the computer screen? Fuck, your imagination could not have dreamed up a sexier man. Oh right, he is waiting for your answer.
You explain to him what happened, Yoongi recognizing you at your job, the agreement you made with him afterwards. Taehyung moves from hovering over you to standing by your side. He listens intently as his eyes scan the crowd. You watch the dancers as you sober up, observing the debauchery you had just been a part of. Taehyung hums as you finish your story.
“Who is-” Taehyung doesn’t let you finish, his eyes staring at the second floor’s balcony. “You looked like you enjoyed yourself. You looked so pretty up there, with my friend’s fingers inside you. You were being such a cute little slut.” His eyes roll back inside his head and he opens his mouth sighing.
He saw you. Did the others- “Did Yoongi see?!” you pull on his arm to get him to focus on you.
“No, he didn’t, just me. My turn!”
You felt tricked, using your question up already.
He turns to face you, leaning his side against the wall. You can't help but notice how he stares at you like he’s undressing you with his eyes, gaze traveling down your body and pausing at every place your skin shows, your cleavage and your thighs. “He really worked you up, you looked so guilty when you came back,” Taehyung’s teasing tone back again, “I wouldn’t be surprised if Yoongi suspected something.”
Your eyes go wide with worry. “I’m willing to keep that secret for you if...” he bites his lip and leans in whispering, “I bet you’re still wet too. Can I have a taste?”
“R-right now?”
“Yes. That’s my turn again! And I’m waiting for my answer.” He gets closer to you, pressing up against you again, his hands brushing against your thigh. You look around, how far away are you from the crowd? How far away are you from Yoongi?
His lips brush against your temple as he leans his jaw against your forehead. “No one will see. Put your hands back on my shoulder, c’mon baby, be good for me.” His body blocks you from everyone’s view.
His head in your hair, taking a long inhale, breathing in your scent, Taehyung can’t get enough of you. Your shaky arms obey him, laying loosely on top of his broad shoulders. You lay your head on his chest, even if his words come out smooth, his heart is racing as he moves quickly between your bodies, dipping his long fingers inside you. You try to bite back a moan, but it feels too good.
Taehyung feels like he’s going to burst. You’re so wet, dripping all over his hand. He tries to fight his urges, there’s so many things he wants to do to you. Your soft whimpers sound so beautiful, so much better in person. You’re his to play with, all his.
He groans, pushing you hard against the wall. He looks like he’s going to devour you, your body tenses and you clench around his fingers. It only encourages him on. You grip his shoulders as he drives his hand upward, fingers pushing into you deeply as you fight against gravity, forced to stand on your tiptoes, struggling against him as his mouth attacks your neck, biting down hard. It’s too rough, too fast. “Tae-V-stop!”
His entire body stills against you, except for his fingers, teasing you still as they steadily press around inside your walls. You try to come to your senses, but everything about him unravels you.
He whispers against your forehead. “Last round, baby doll.” His voice raspy and breathing heavy as he holds himself back from tearing the clothes off your body. “One more question for each of us. I know where RM is, do you want to know?”
'RM,' who told you to find him, and V, who knows where. You gasp and nod your head, waiting but Taehyung smiles down at you in silence, fingers sliding out of you, making you whimper and grip the wall for support when he finally gives you space. He stays quiet as he brings his fingers to his mouth, licking the wetness off his palm.
Your legs feel like jello, your body buzzes with each shameless lick as you watch him. You swallow the saliva accumulating in your mouth, pushing the lump in your throat down. You know what he wants. You played right into his trap, and the worst part is you want it too.
“Where is he?”
---
“If you think you’re going to keep her all to yourself you’re in for a rude awakening!” Jungkook grits out.
Yoongi sits quietly with his arms folded as Jungkook starts hurling accusations at him. Jin and Hoseok try to calm the youngest down, but it’s no use.
He grabs Yoongi’s collar, the action making Yoongi finally snap, and without warning Yoongi punches him squarely in the face. Yoongi had taken advantage of his friends holding Jungkook back and distracting him, satisfied when the young man recoils, stumbling back.
Before he can really lose it, Hoseok and Jimin drag Jungkook away, as the youngest screams all the ways he’s going to make Yoongi pay, not even aware of the blood leaking from his nose. Jin pulls Yoongi away in the opposite direction, “We need to talk.”
Jin walks Yoongi outside so they can both get some fresh air and clear their heads.
“He needs to learn not to disrespect his elders,” Yoongi mutters, wiping the blood off his knuckles.
“You know how he gets,” Jin counters, “Don’t act like you didn’t want that exact reaction from him. You were egging him on all night with y/n.”
Yoongi scoffs. He can’t stand how Jungkook acts like you belong with him. Jungkook is crazy. He’s too hot-headed and oversensitive, the complete opposite of Yoongi. The youngest suffers from inexperience and naivety. All that bark, and he couldn’t even bring himself to talk to you. No, Jungkook doesn’t deserve you, Yoongi thinks, he could never take care of you like Yoongi could.
“What exactly are you trying to accomplish? You brought y/n back and we’re all happy for that, but if Jungkook is right, then I’m going to have to agree with him, brother.” Jin squeezes his friend’s shoulder and Yoongi shakes him off.
“I wasn’t going to keep her locked away.” Yoongi says dismissively. Not that he didn't think once or twice about it.
“How gracious of you.”
“Listen, I found her. She chose me before and she’ll choose me again. The last time you were with her, what happened, Brother? Hobi and Jimin, Jungkook and even you can fight over her all you want. In the end, she will come back to me.”
Jin smiles, he will let Yoongi think that. “And where is your y/n now?”
“I’ll go find her,” Yoongi goes to leave, itching to get you by his side again.
Jin’s hand on his chest stops him. Jin can’t help but smile at his poor friend’s situation, he had been tricked by the two youngest, a plan they orchestrated themselves and everyone else went along with. But Jin couldn’t keep his friend in the dark any longer, especially when revealing the truth would make the aftermath that much more entertaining for Jin.
“I have to tell you something.”
---
You stand in front of the door Taehyung had led you to, your nerves on high alert. Taehyung stands behind you, humming to himself. His arm reaches over your shoulder to rapt three knocks on the door.
As the door knob turns, Taehyung exclaims behind you, “Oh! I forgot.” His long fingers cover your eyes, as he pulls your head back, your body stumbling and crashing against him.
“Taehyung!”
“Shh. Calm down, it’s more fun this way,” he whispers in your ear as you hear the door creak open.
“What do we have here?”
“I brought her for you,” Taehyung purrs. You can feel his chest puff up behind you, he’s ecstatic, you played his game so perfectly, he was so proud of you.
“Good boy.”
You feel fingers wrap around yours as Namjoon brings your hands to his lips, caressing your knuckles. “And what about you? Are you going to be a good girl for me?”
---
Jimin tends to Jungkook’s bleeding nose as Hoseok pours himself a drink. “Thanks for taking one for the team, Kookie.”
Jungkook keeps his head tilted back to stop the blood, glancing over to Hoseok, lips curving in a smile, he’s happy that he accomplished his part of the plan successfully, “I’m going to kill that bastard.”
Jimin flicks him in the forehead. “No you’re not, unless you want y/n to never forgive you.”
“She won’t,” he pouts, “she acts like she hates him. I’ll be doing her a favor.” Jimin rolls his eyes.
---
The room is quiet, too quiet compared to the raucous party outside. So when Taehyung drags a chair from the corner of the room, the wood scraping against the floor sounds all the more foreboding. Goosebumps bloom on your body as if Taehyung dragged his fingernails along your skin instead.
You sit kneeling on the floor waiting, knees tucked underneath you. RM sits on the bed behind you, legs outstretched and you between them. You stare down at his shoes, shiny black loafers, and glance at his pants legs on either side of you. It's the first time you’ve ever seen a part of him. You want to look up so badly, the idea sits heavy on you, tensing every muscle in your body as you fight your curiosity. The only thing you want more is to find out what will happen if you obey them.
Taehyung pulls the chair right in front of you, facing the bed, you and RM. Another pair of shoes brush against your knees as Taehyung takes a seat.
RM’s fingers rest atop your head and keep your head tilted down while he waits for his friend to situate himself. Until eventually RM moves behind you, fingers fisting your hair and pulling you to your feet. “Go sit on his lap.”
Taehyung sits looking at you like he's just been given first place prize, smirking pridefully as you walk towards him on shaky legs. His shirt is already unbuttoned, tan skin and taunt muscles in full view. That's V, all right. Your insides ache for him, his seduction luring you in like a firefly to light.
Your dress stretches around your thighs as you straddle him, his hands grabbing at your ass and pulling your body into his.
You hear RM’s low voice growl behind you, “Kiss him.”
For a moment you think about the intense quiet man who brought you to this island, his piercing eyes flashing through your mind until Taehyung’s lips crash into yours and you can only think about how sweet the man devouring you tastes, and you kiss him back, exploring his mouth with your tongue.
His hands grope your body, pull your face closer, force away the fabric of your clothes. His touch is everywhere, keeping you distracted only on him as RM sets things up behind you.
RM pulls off his tie as Taehyung’s hands move to either side of your face, and he pulls you away from him, leaving one last peck on your lips, “You’re doing so well, baby doll. You don’t know how long I’ve wanted this.”
“V...Taehyung, I-I’ve wanted this too.”
“Will you do what I say?” You feel RM’s hands unzip the back of your dress, the fabric lowers and exposes your chest. Taehyung’s grip on your face tightens as you’re momentarily distracted, bringing your attention back to him.
“Yes.”
“I want you to fuck RM while I watch.”
He what who?
Taehyung brings his hips up causing you to lose your balance when he senses your hesitation, his hard length rubs against your aching core, “Don’t you want to? You wanted so badly for me to take you to him, didn’t you? All you have to do is say yes.”
His thumb traces your jaw as RM lowers his black tie across your eyes. Your heartbeat races, your thighs clench around Taehyung’s legs making him moan and buck into your heat. You shudder and RM secures his tie behind your head with a tight knot.
“Tae...” your fingers tighten into the loose fabric of his shirt at your sudden loss in vision.
Taehyung clasps his hands around yours, holding your wrists together as RM presses himself against your back, and you feel ropes being wrapped around your wrists. “You’re so pretty like this, remember last time?”
You do remember. Fuck, how did you end up like this again? This is all Yoongi’s fault.
RM’s hand wraps around your neck and his deep voice speaks in your ear, “Answer him, baby girl.”
“I-I remember.” You want to cry, you want to cum, you want them to stop this torture.
“Let us make you feel good again,” Taehyung’s voice lowers even deeper than RM’s.
“I...okay.”
“You’ll let RM use you?” You nod your head, grateful you can’t see them. You let yourself hide behind the makeshift blindfold.
“Use your words, I want to hear you say it,” RM demands.
“I want you to use me,” you sit and wait, embarrassed the words left your mouth so easily. The lack of response makes your insides churn, you can’t see the way they smile at each other. If Yoongi wants to make you only his, they are just going to have to destroy you for any other man.
RM’s grip around your neck tightens, arm wrapping around your body as he lifts you off your feet. You land on the soft covers of the bed, you have no time to adjust to the drastic change of orientation before you feel harsh tugs as RM works to undress you, throwing the clothes over to Taehyung who takes his time breathing in your scent, licking the moistness from the fabric.
Namjoon pulls on the rope wrapped around your wrists placing them high above your head, his weight bears down on top of your leg as he grabs your other leg and spreads you wide. The way Taehyung moans reach your ears you suspect he has full view of your naked body. You wiggle against RM’s hold as best you can.
“Mmmm so needy and I’m not even doing anything yet.” RM’s hand leaves your wrists as he moves lower, resting his upper body on top of yours, effectively pinning your lower body down. Having full reign to play with you in this position, you feel his fingers teasing at your entrance. Your tied hands explore the expanse of his back, his shoulders so wide you can’t reach around to end his teasing, you can only moan and whimper at his slow ministrations.
“Ahh so wet,” RM massages everywhere except the place you want him most.
This is mean, this is tortuous, you’ve obeyed them and they still tease you. You cry out in frustration, clenching every time his fingers poke at your hole, RM’s grip on your thigh is too tight to move even an inch. You shove his back with your tied hands and RM laughs.
“Tae, help me out.” You feel fingers finally pressing into your aching clit, rubbing slow circles, making you cry out. RM’s fingers continue to drag across your lips, gathering the wetness that drips from your core. They slowly and steadily work the tension out of you until you’re numb with pleasure.
You let out a scream when your orgasm finally hits you. After being tortured all night, teased until you were delirious, the release becomes so intense you black out, and when you come to RM is pumping his fingers into you roughly. Your body seizes up again, racing into another orgasm. He rocks his hand into you, thumb rubbing your sensitive hood, and you release again. But RM doesn’t stop. He takes and takes, leaving you breathless. The sounds of your wetness fills the room, mixing with Taehyung’s grunts and moans at your helpless state.
“I c-can’t...too sensitive!”
“This is what you wanted, for Daddy to use you. Take it.”
Your tied hands try to move RM’s body off of you, but he is like a boulder on top of your body, unaffected by your hits. You struggle until his pleasure overtakes the pain, and you fall back, losing yourself in the way his fingers fill you up, hitting the deepest parts of you so skillfully. You stop fighting and accept the power he holds over you, he is making you feel so good you want him to take it, the thought sends you hurtling into another orgasm, tightening again around his fingers.
He can feel how close you are. “Be a good girl and give me one more,” RM groans, “that’s it.”
You’re wailing in pleasure now, unable to stop your cries. Your weak body shaking in his grasp. You feel something wet hit your outstretched thigh. Taehyung’s deep grunts of release finally undoing the coil inside you, and you orgasm for a third time around RM’s fingers.
RM lets go of you finally and you lie boneless, breathing ragged, blind and numb to the world. The air feels cool on your sweaty body as you come down from your high. You feel the bed dip as RM joins you again. Before he had been fully dressed, now you can feel his warm skin against your slippery body.
He lays himself between your legs. His lips finally meet yours, they feel full. You moan into his mouth as his tongue plays with yours. You want to touch his face but your arms are still tied together, so you caress his hair instead, the back of his neck, his muscular shoulders, trying to feel as much as you can.
His hard length brushes against your oversensitive core, his mouth swallowing your whimpers as he pushes himself in. You’re so wet there’s no resistance, but the stretch still leaves you gasping. His thrusts are hard and deep, you focus on how the weight of his body feels on top of yours as he uses you to reach his high. “You’re taking Daddy so well, baby.”
“T-Thank you, Daddy,” you stutter out between moans.
RM holds your wrists down as he finishes, releasing deep inside you. You feel every pulse from his cock, the pressure almost becoming too much as he fills you up.
You hear the familiar scrape of the chair again as Taehyung comes closer, fingers wiping away the tears on your face making you feel cared for. You don’t see how he licks your salty tears off his hand.
RM lifts your tired body in his arms, cradling you to his chest. He puts you in his lap as he takes a seat in the vacant chair.
“Tae has been such a patient boy, I think it’s time for his reward.”
RM moves your body so your back is flush against his, pulling the rope on your hands around his head, locking your arms. His hand massages up and down your legs, putting his knees in between yours.
“Kneel.” You realize RM is addressing Taehyung. He spreads his legs to make room for Taehyung, forcing your legs open in the process.
“RM-” Namjoon places his hand over your mouth, the same way he did at the party, stifling your scream as Taehyung buries his face into your pussy.
Taehyung eats you out while RM keeps you open, until you’re shaking in his lap, until you can’t form anything coherent anymore, until you’re so sensitive Taehyung’s lips around your clit is the only thought in your head, the drag of his tongue pulling away from you the last thing you feel before exhaustion sends you into the deepest sleep of your life.
---
You wake up alone.
You pull the sheets closer to your naked body as you look around the vacant room. Everything is moved back to its place, floor empty. You search the ground for your clothes but there’s nothing there. You pull yourself out of bed, trying to ignore your aching joints and pounding head. You look for your clothes but there’s nothing. You search the entire room, the closet is empty, the dresser is empty, there’s not even a towel in the bathroom. Where the hell are your clothes?!
You make your way back into bed, pulling the covers over your body.
Oh fuck, what are you going to do?
What time is it? They just left you and took your clothes. What kind of sick game is Taehyung playing now? Tears well up in your eyes.
You feel more confused than ever, Taehyung had been so sweet to you before, you had often fantasized meeting him, but he was so different in person. You hadn’t expected this. He’s going to come back, right? Right?!
You are pulled away from your thoughts at the sound of the door creaking open.
“I see you’ve been a very bad girl.” Your eyes widen as Yoongi makes his way into the room, closing the door behind him. He looks as smug as ever, holding a hanger over his shoulder.
“A-Are those my clothes?”
“Are these the clothes I gave you last night? No, looks like you fucked yourself out of those.” You pull the bedsheet closer to you, gritting your teeth, blinking away your tears.
“Yoongi...”
“Hmm?” He leans against the bedpost, the clothes hanger hanging off one finger. You want to punch him, but you know you're walking on thin ice already.
“P-please help me.”
“You lost the clothes I got you. Why should I give you more?” You can tell he’s itching to humiliate you.
“So you’re just going to leave me here naked?!” you yell at him.
His eyes narrow. He grabs the bedsheet and pulls, dragging it off your body before you can stop him. You wrap your arms around your chest and pull your legs together.
“I should, after what you did!” Yoongi screams, “Whoring yourself out to my friends. Two at the same time, enjoy yourself? Fucking slut.” His words sting you. How could you fuck up so badly, you just let yourself become overtaken by lust.
“Now look at you. You let them take advantage of you. They used you and they left you with nothing. What would you have done if I didn’t find you?” He crosses his arms, his cold eyes glaring at you.
You burst into tears. Is he right? Is that what they did to you? “I’m-s-so-sorry,” you manage to say between sobs.
He sighs, “I’m here now.” You need him, he’s going to make you see that. He moves closer, lifting your chin to look at him. “If they had taken this,” his hand brushes your choker, “I would have killed them.”
You look at him pleadingly, trying to silence your sniffles. He offers you the clothes hanger, “Change into this.”
---
You unzip the clothes bag and pull out a dress with a light flowery pattern. The fabric is sheer and flowy. The matching lingerie set is pastel pink and strappy. Well, even if he is an asshole at least you can count on Yoongi to make you look good. You clean up your makeup and style your hair as best you can in the empty bathroom, removing what's left of the smudged dark eyeshadow, pushing thoughts from last night away. The more you try to make sense of what transpired, the more confused you become, and remembering just makes you feel hot all over.
Yoongi pushes himself off the wall when you open the door.
There is still music playing, still people dancing, a lot less than the night before, but you’re amazed there are any at all.
“Does the party ever end?” you think out loud.
“Only if you want it to.”
Yoongi leads you outside. When you reach the backyard you realize the party truly never really ended, only moved. Partygoers lounge by the pool, drinking and eating.
“Is that a fucking mermaid?” Girls dressed up in tails lay about the pool, you're about to run towards them when Yoongi pulls you away from the pool. “Let’s eat before you decide to go make friends.”
You walk in step. He looks put together as always, wearing simple light clothes, a white shirt tucked into tan pants, an unbuttoned collared shirt on top.
“Is everyone here a House member?” You ask, finally sober enough to start learning some things.
“Yes, I thought it was obvious. It’s nothing official. Just a get-together after our quarterly meeting, something for our investors.”
Right, never did you just have a ‘get-together’ like this. It's annoying how out of touch they are.
You see the familiar faces of his friends sitting in a secluded area. Before you and Yoongi get within earshot he grabs your arm.
“If Taehyung and Jungkook try to touch you again, let me know, will you?”
Wait, Jungkook is RM? What? No way, that doesn’t make any sense. He can’t be, he was downstairs when you first met RM. But why does Yoongi think you fucked him? Jungkook is not RM. Though, you remember how he never spoke to you.
His grip on you tightens when you don’t answer, “Y/n…”
“Okay, okay.”
---
Jungkook watches you and Yoongi whispering to one another. You look flustered when Yoongi places a soft kiss on your cheek before breaking away.
He takes a deep breath, rubbing his temples to take the tension away. When he looks up again, Yoongi and you are walking towards the group, your eyes fixated on...him? Jungkook breaks eye contact and looks back at you...and you’re still staring at him. He keeps eye contact with you, face going redder and redder.
He watches as you greet his friends, eyes glancing his way too frequently to call it a coincidence. What the fuck did Yoongi tell you to make you look at him like he grew three heads?
---
“I’ll be right back.” Yoongi makes his way to the far end of the party where Seokjin is talking to another man. You watch as Yoongi embraces the stranger, it’s one of the few times you’ve seen Yoongi smile, not a self satisfied smirk or a threatening grin, but a genuine smile showing off his gums that make the intimidating man look actually cute. The stranger gives him a dimpled smile in return.
“Who’s that with Seokjin?” you ask Jimin.
He looks over to where you're pointing, Jimin's expression full of mirth, “That’s Namjoon, looks like he made it to the party after all.”
“Oh.”
Jimin pulls on your arm, turning you to him, “Let’s go swimming!”
“Oh, but I don’t have a bathing suit.”
“That’s okay, you can go in your underwear,” he wiggles his eyebrows at you, making you giggle.
“I’ll, um, be right back,” Jimin whines as you get up, and you promise him it will only take a minute. You know you’d never get a chance to talk to Jungkook with Yoongi by your side, the two of them seem to have an odd tension between them. But now that Yoongi is distracted with Seokjin and Namjoon, it’s the perfect opportunity.
“Er hello?”
Jungkook’s wide doe eyes looks up at you. “Hello...”
Okay, he definitely doesn’t sound like RM. “Hi, I didn’t get to talk to you last night. I just wanted to say hi.”
“Oh, hi.”
“...hi.”
This is painfully awkward. You study his frame...he is built. The tank top he’s wearing shows off his broad shoulders and muscular tattooed arms, he looks strong like how you imagine RM. Maybe if you kiss him...
Jungkook watches as you peer over his back. “Dahlia…”
“Hmm? Oh, just call me y/n.” you insist, the alias making you feel self-conscious.
“I missed talking to you...so much.”
“We talked?” Is he really RM? No, it doesn’t feel like him at all.
Jungkook bites his lower lip. His front teeth pressing into his round lips makes him look cute, you think, like a scared rabbit.
“Yes, we used to talk a lot, before...” he bites back the words so he doesn’t make you uncomfortable. “My username is..” Ugh, Jungkook can’t believe he’s saying this to you out loud, why did he have to choose such a dumb username? “PlayboyJK.”
“Oh, oh! I remember you!” You remember your conversations with him. He was a good tipper, a bit unconventional in his requests, but he was always one of the first viewers to your stream.
“Honestly, I can’t believe you would watch me.”
“Why?”
“You’re just so...handsome? I’m just surprised, I guess!”
Jungkook’s ears go red at the compliment. You’re so perfect, you’re a goddess. He’d watch you all day every day, he’d watch you sleep. How could you think he wouldn’t want to watch you?
“I think you’re so beautiful, I like you a lot.”
“T-Thank you,”
“Are you going to start streaming again?
“Ha no no. I put all that behind me. Well, I thought I did,” you say after noticing Jungkook’s confused expression. “Um, it’s a long story.”
“Oh, you don’t have to join again. I could, um, pay you directly.”
“You’d pay me? For what?” you laugh, but you're curious to hear his answer.
“For anything, I’d pay you...just be with me.” you look into Jungkook’s wide eyes, so determined. Maybe if Yoongi had asked you this way, you would have considered it.
“I-HEY!” You squeal as Hoseok lifts you out of your seat. Jungkook gives Jimin a look of dismay as he pulls the younger man to his feet too.
Somehow you ended up in the pool with your dress still on. The sheer fabric doing little to hide the lingerie underneath for all the men to see.
---
The sun has already left the horizon while you sit on the deck of Yoongi’s yacht, drying off your body from the day's watery fun. You listen to the waves hit the walls of his boat as it sloshes around in the water, the rhythm like a whispering melody. The twilight casts everything in blue, the smell of salt and fresh air along with sound of the sea's waves is just so relaxing. What you wouldn't give to experience this all the time.
“Come back with me.” Yoongi's hushed voice breaks your trance.
“And be what, your personal servant?" you scoff, "I don’t think so.”
"What about those girls at the party? You could be like them, always having fun, the center of attention."
You bite your lip. "I don't want that." You wonder if Yoongi will believe you when you don't even believe yourself.
"Or I could just give you all my attention." He gets closer to you. "All this could be your life."
"Maybe I like my life-"
Yoongi laughs at you, earning himself a glare.
"Or I could just keep you here." He smirks down at you.
“You wouldn’t dare.”
“Don’t dare me.”
You stop glaring at him, turning your head away. You watch the lights on the mansion turn on as the night settles in.
“Do you really want to go back to that boring job?” You roll your eyes at his words. “Don’t you want more? To have fun? I’ll give you everything you want."
"I don’t think you could give me everything."
"Just try. You can always go back, I’m sure that manager friend of yours would rehire you."
You sigh, breathing in deep the salty air.
“I would have to put in my two weeks...”
---
Hobi’s scene was fun to write, I haven’t been to parties or dancing in so long I was like what the hell happens again? Now I wanna dance! Reader who said Yoongi will throw her into the sea last chapter you made me laugh so hard I almost considered making him do that lol. I guess there’s still some time to piss him off enough! Do you believe Yoongi? What do you think (or want) to happen next? <3
884 notes · View notes
fific7 · 3 years
Text
Ticket to Ride - Part 3
Billy Russo x Reader
A/N: Inspired by The Beatles song of the same name. This takes place in my S1 Punisher AU with Arrogant!Billy in attendance, in which he gets a taste of his own medicine.
Warnings: 18+ NSFW due to sexual content, including unprotected and oral, between consenting adults* in some chapters. Drinking and swearing.
*Irl, please don’t go wild in the country without protection.
(My photo edit)
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𝕀 𝕕𝕠𝕟'𝕥 𝕜𝕟𝕠𝕨 𝕨𝕙𝕪 𝕤𝕙𝕖'𝕤 𝕣𝕚𝕕𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕤𝕠 𝕙𝕚𝕘𝕙
𝕊𝕙𝕖 𝕠𝕦𝕘𝕙𝕥 𝕥𝕠 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕜 𝕥𝕨𝕚𝕔𝕖, 𝕤𝕙𝕖 𝕠𝕦𝕘𝕙𝕥 𝕥𝕠 𝕕𝕠 𝕣𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥 𝕓𝕪 𝕞𝕖
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Billy slammed the door of his hotel room closed behind him. He was fuming.
Damn!!! Damn, fuck, damn, fuck, fuck, fuck! He stormed across the room and threw himself onto the bed, hands linking behind his head on the pillows, glaring up at the ceiling. Apart from anything else, his male pride was injured - he was an ex-Marine for fuck’s sake! And he’d been outsmarted by a... a.. civilian!!
Lying there for a while, wondering what the hell he was going to do now. Micro couldn’t track her phone this time, and fuck knows where she was headed. Or... had she gone somewhere else? Or just moved to another location in London?
His gut told him she’d gone somewhere else. Those apartments she’d been staying in were for longer-term lets, not just one or two-night stays. Maybe she was using that as a base of operations like he would’ve done in the military. Yeah, he liked the sound of that. He sat up suddenly, taking his phone out of his pocket and opening Google Maps. He searched for Wood Wharf and when it listed up, he moved the map around with a finger and within a couple of seconds spotted what he’d been looking for - City Airport.
Billy grinned. He was back on her trail, he just knew it.
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Frank jolted awake, and after a few seconds realised that his phone was ringing. He grabbed it, screwing up his bleary eyes as he tried to read the time and who was calling. Shit, it was 1 a.m.! And it was Micro. What the hell?
He accepted the call, hearing Micro’s muffled voice saying, “Frank?” “Yeah, yeah... what’s up, Micro? And you sound like you’re underwater.” There was a slight pause and a swallowing sound, “M’eatin’ a donut. Sorry. Look, Russo’s just texted me again - this time he wants me to search for her on flights outta London City Airport. I said ok... but....” his voice trailed off.
Frank sighed. He hated this, he was stuck slap bang in the middle of all this shit between Billy, Karen and Billy’s girl.
Billy - he could kick his dumb ass for ‘messin’ around’ with Madani. Karen - he really didn’t want to upset his girl. And Billy’s girl - he felt sorry for her that she’d had to put up with Billy’s recent bad behaviour but.... he’d been so relaxed and happy since the two of them got together. So... he’d give his idiot friend a break... but only a small one.
“Yeah OK, Micro, go ahead with what he asked ya to do. Let Russo know once you got an answer for him, then you tell me. And if Karen ever asks, you didn’t call me ‘bout this till a helluva lot later this mornin’. Got it!?”
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Stepping out of the lift onto the landing of the 20th floor, you were met by a view across the harbour and a symphony in red - carpets, walls, doors.
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(My Photos - Dec 2014)
The W was even better than you’d imagined, and as you reached your room and opened the door, you loved the view you got all along the beach from the big picture windows.
After you’d unpacked, you dropped a quick text to Karen just letting her know where you were, then left your room to go and have a walk around the local area, called Barceloneta according to your online guide book.
There was a cooling sea breeze, the sun was shining and you turned your face up towards it.
The W Hotel was right at the far end of the beach, and you had a pleasant stroll along it until you reached a busy street called Passeig Joan de Borbó, which ran parallel to the marina known as Port Vell. You passed several restaurants and decided that you’d have an early lunch in one of them, rather than eating at the hotel. You could have dinner or even room service there later on.
Sitting at an outside table, looking at the yachts moored at the marina, watching all the people strolling by on the wide pavement, sipping at a glass of wine.... you gave a happy sigh and relaxed back in your seat.
Billy would never find you here.
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Touching down in Barcelona, Billy watched the airport buildings rushing past as the air brakes were applied and the plane began to slow down. He was impressed with how short a flight it was from London; it was only a few hours since Micro had messaged him with the search results and he was here already.
He made his way through Passport Control and headed for the taxi rank, joining the queue and eventually being waved towards one of the waiting cars by the attendant.
Half an hour later, he was checking into the W. He felt excited, pleased, a thrill of anticipation - he’d caught up with her this time. Now all he had to do was dump his stuff in his room and stake out the lobby until she inevitably showed up.
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You’d walked up the full length of Joan de Borbó until you’d reached a new area of town called El Born. There was a lovely park - it had been built over a citadel from long ago when Barcelona had been occupied by invaders - and it was full of narrow little streets and cute artisan boutiques. Stopping for a coffee next to an old market building - the Mercat del Born - which had been converted into a cultural centre, once again you just enjoyed the sunshine and watching the world go by.
You looked around at the beautiful buildings; how lovely it would be to live in an apartment in one of these like the locals did. Most of the buildings had ‘Juliet balconies’, not especially spacious but enough to be able to step out of your apartment, maybe sit and enjoy the fresh air if you had room for a little chair. Some of the balconies had lush green plants in big ceramic pots on them, and you thought that sitting out there in amongst them would be like having your own little cocoon from the outside world.
You had a leisurely stroll through the neighbourhood, taking an interest in the small stores, tapas bars and old buildings. At the far end of the Passeig del Born you admired the huge Santa Maria del Mar, a church which your guide book told you was a fine example of Catalan Gothic. This opinion you agreed with - it was a beautiful church and you ventured inside to quietly look at its impressive yet simple interior.
You came out and turned onto Carrer Montcada, where the famous Picasso Museum was located. Not that you were going to go and check it out - your guide book had given some ‘best times to queue’ and spending time in a line of tourists was not your idea of fun - but you wanted to see if El Xampanyet, a famous tapas bar, was still open so you could have a glass of cava. Unfortunately it wasn’t, it had closed a couple of hours earlier and wouldn’t reopen for another couple. Sighing, you decided to walk along Montcada which would take you to Carrer Princesa, you could walk down it and cut round past the Mercat del Born again, back to Barceloneta and the W.
You were feeling a little peckish and the thought of some chilled cava and something to eat was really appealing.
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Billy felt his eyes slowly closing. He shook himself awake behind his newspaper, he couldn’t risk falling asleep but what with his disturbed night’s sleep and then his dash to Barcelona was making even him - an ex-Marine who could function on little or no sleep - feel really fatigued.
Sitting in one of the comfy sofas in reception for the past hour or so was not helping, the quiet hum of voices and people entering and leaving by the revolving doors was soothing him into a drowsy state. The newspaper he’d been pretending to read was in Catalan, totally impenetrable to him so he’d had to resort to just looking at the pictures, not the best at keeping his mind active.
He heard the ‘swoosh’ of the revolving door again, looked up and then froze. It was her!! He peeked round the edge of his paper.
She was heading for the lifts, looking in her bag for her keycard as she walked, she needed to swipe it so she could go up to her floor.
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The lift doors opened and you stepped inside, running your keycard over the reader and hitting the button for floor 20. The doors began to close but then suddenly sprang apart again as someone hit the Call button, and you looked up with the usual polite but disengaged smile that people give each other in lifts.
Billy Russo was looking back at you, a small smile on his face as he hit the ‘Close Doors’ button.
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She’d shrank back from him as soon as she’d realised it was him. Billy was incredibly hurt by that. He wasn’t going to harm her!!! He reached a hand out towards her but she moved even further away from him, right into the corner of the lift.
He said her name, then, “Sweetheart.... please! Just hear me out. That’s all I want to do - talk to you.” She glared at him, “Talk!! You want to talk? Ha!! And why would I want to listen to you!?” Billy grabbed her, getting her in a bear hug, kissing her hard and hungrily. He could feel her struggling in his arms but then she began to relax the tiniest little bit, so he just kept on kissing her passionately.
There was a ‘ting’ as the express lift reached its requested floor, and the doors opened onto the landing. There were two elderly ladies standing there and as Billy’s lips broke away from hers, he turned his head to look over his shoulder at them as they stared. “Ladies,” he nodded, firmly taking his girl’s arm in his and pulling her along with him as he got out of the lift.
“That’s not talking!!” she hissed at Billy.
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You were towed along behind Billy until he stopped outside your door. So.... he even knew your room number. Why hadn’t Karen given you the heads-up this time? You were feeling very uneasy. Billy was on a mission, that was clear.
He’d grabbed your keycard while he was kissing you in the lift. Why hadn’t you struggled harder? Because you’d missed him, of course. You didn’t like it, but you couldn’t deny it.
Now he swiped the keycard against the reader on the door, opened it and bundled you inside, closing the door firmly behind him. He let go of your arm and strode into the room past the centre-located bed which faced the huge window and made his way over to it, looking out at the view it gave of the beaches and the city.
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(My Photo - Dec 2015)
He sat on the window seat and turned towards you, “Please... let me explain. Have a seat.” Reluctantly you sat at the opposite end of the long seat, but then stood back up again. You needed a drink. Picking up the bottle of gin from the small table by the window, you walked over to the mini fridge and opened it, taking out a small bottle of tonic water before retrieving a glass from the cupboard above it. You walked over to the large unit under the wall-mounted TV and put it all down, then prepared a G&T for yourself and took a large gulp.
“Nothing for me?” asked Billy, with his best puppy-dog eyes and pout. Heaving a sigh, you went back over to the fridge and took out a bottle of Estrella Damm beer for him, popping the top off it for him. Picking up your G&T on the way back to the window seat, you handed him the beer and sat down.
He took a large swig of the beer, and began, “Sweetheart, I....” but you cut him off. “If you dare to say ‘it’s not what you think’, I’ll chop your balls off, Billy.” He winced, and you shot at him, “What’s her name?” Billy shook his head and opened his mouth to speak, but again you beat him to it, “And don’t give me any bullshit. I’m not stupid.”
Billy sighed, taking another drink of his beer, “I know you’re not, sweetheart. But I swear I didn’t cheat on you, it was just about getting information.” “What. Is. Her. Name!?” you ground out. His head went down and he said, “Dinah Madani. She works for Homeland,” but not meeting your eyes. “Okay, Russo. Now we’re getting somewhere. What exactly did you get up to with Mizzz Madani?” “Nothing! I swear!” You stood up abruptly, and Billy - who’d been leaning in towards you - rocked back a bit. “Oh, fuck off Billy!” you yelled, “I can smell the guilt off you!”
You were getting angrier and angrier, “You say you wanna talk and then all you do is lie! Get out! Go on - just get out of my room!”
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Billy opened his mouth to say something placatory but seeing just how furious she looked, he decided that a tactical withdrawal was probably the sensible option.
So instead he drained his beer, stood up and began walking to the door. He stopped and turned halfway across the room, gazing at her, “But I do need to properly explain all this to you, angel. Let’s talk later, okay? Please - just give me a chance.”
She nodded, “OK. Tomorrow morning.” He walked to the door, feeling defeated, and left her room. At least she was gonna give him another shot.
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The door closed behind him, and you breathed a sigh of relief. Truly, you hadn’t been sure how he was going to react when you told him to leave - Billy had a temper on him. You really didn’t think he’d physically hurt you but he always had that air of danger about him. And you’d been so angry yourself, you’d kind of lost yourself in it.
He might be dangerous, but he was a cowardly little shit when it came to telling the truth. You thought back to what he’d said - ‘Nothing, I swear’ - yeah, a likely story! He must think you were so dumb!
Picking up the room service menu, you had a brief look through it then ordered a cheeseburger and a cup of coffee. While waiting for it, you got your laptop out of your bag and opened it up.
Sorry Barcelona, I haven’t seen even half of what I’d intended to and I’d been so looking forward to exploring.
But instead, I’ve got to love you and leave you.
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Billy stepped out of the walk-in shower wearing one of the hotel’s fluffy white dressing robes, and headed to his mini-bar. He needed another beer. And some food. He flicked through all the stuff lying out on the unit, finally finding the room service menu and ordering a steak and a coffee.
He sat on the window seat while he waited, propped up against the wall with his long legs stretched out in front of him. He was feeling guilty, uneasy and really not pleased with himself. Telling her the truth was turning out to be more difficult than he’d thought. He wondered out loud, “Why is that?” but in fact he damn well knew why. The way he’d been carrying on with Madani was wrong. Even if he’d only been intent on getting information, it was just like Frank had said - cheating - and he knew it. Even if, in Billy’s book, there was Cheating Lite and Cheating For Real, and his overstepping had only been into Lite territory. Was it really that bad?
Who was he kidding? Unsurprisingly, his girl didn’t like to share.
So one thing he knew for sure was that when - if - he ever told her the complete truth, his angel was going to be very, very unhappy with him indeed.
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You’d ordered a very early room service breakfast and after you’d eaten it while enjoying the view, your belongings were quickly stowed away and you took the lift down to the lobby. After checking out - and assuring the receptionist there was nothing wrong, you just had to leave earlier than you’d anticipated - you were on your way to the revolving door when your phone vibrated.
Karen: Billy got Micro to track you down again, sorry hon! He knows you’re in Barcelona 😳 he’ll be heading out there.
You: Yeah, he’s already here! Caught up with me yesterday evening. Agreed we’d talk this morning. But I’m in a taxi on the way to the airport 😉
Karen: 😂😂😂
Once outside, one of the guest services guys waved up a taxi from the nearby rank for you, and wished you a pleasant journey. The taxi driver asked you which terminal you were headed to, and then you were on your way.
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Barcelona
(My Photos - Dec 2019)
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@blackbirddaredevil23 @galaxyjane @omgrachwrites @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead @ourloveisforthelovely @swthxrry @odetostep @supernaturalcat7 @obscurilicious @strawb3rrydr3ss @bruxa0007 @aleksanderwh0r3
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149 notes · View notes
glyxy-wvs · 3 years
Note
hey if you accept requests can you make a fluffy fanfic about Lucifer and Mammon being close? like that pic that you reblogged?
Hello, Anon! Omg, sorry for the long wait!!! 🥺💖 I was busy with irl stuff but AAAA I have finished the fluffy fic! I'm sorry if it didn't reach your expectations.😓 It was a bit difficult to write 'cause I'm not really used to writing fluff.😂 But I hope you like it!! (Also, I didn't base this fic off to the art that I had reblogged, but it's still a fluff fic!! It's fan art, and I think I need permission to write a fic about it.😅 So here's fluffy fanfic of Lucifer and Mammon being close.) Thanks for being the first person to request me haha. Please enjoy this. _ A Day To Relax. [ 1 & 2 ]
Mammon's back hurts; he did the best he could to organized the library at RAD. Maybe he deserves this, or maybe not. He sighs for the tenth time of the day.
There's nothing he can do about it because this was his light punishment for skipping classes again. Although he hates doing chores for his discipline, he needed to be a good big brother for Asmodeus.
Mammon decided to skip his classes so that he could be there to support his little brother. Everyone was busy at that time, with upcoming exams and projects, not one of the brothers could make time for Asmo. The latter understood. It's not like he could force his brothers to watch the stageplay with his classmates. But when he saw Mammon among the crowd with his D.D.D out, he almost cried while performing on stage.
(He felt a bit guilty when he found out that Mammon, believe it or not, skipped classes to watch him.)
Mammon stretched his back when he felt his phone vibrating. He took it out from his back pocket to receive a message from Asmodeus.
[Hey.
I just wanted to say thanks for supporting me there.
This beautiful brother of yours is going to treat you tomorrow! <3]
His lips cracked a smile. He feels soft and loved. Mammon chuckled as he took his bag, ready to go home. He had finished organizing anyway; he preferred to play on his phone for a while.
He started walking to the hallways; almost all of the demons were back to their places already. Some are doing their part-time jobs, and some are being lazy at home (Preferably Belphegor.)
"Mammon."
In instinct, Mammon quickly turned around. He already knows that deep voice.
"Are ya gonna assign me another chore to do?" Mammon quickly questioned his older brother, who was leaning into the student council's door frame.
Lucifer pinched the bridge of his nose, seemingly annoyed already. He pushed back his hair and fixed the wrinkles of his uniform.
"No. Well, if you want to do more. Your choice." With that answer, Mammon crossed his arms, a pout on his face— ready to complain. But Lucifer stopped him.
"Remember that cafe I showed you the other day? Let's go there, my treat." Lucifer stated; he laughed when he saw Mammon froze.
"I don't believe you." His eyes narrowed, looking for a flaw in Lucifer's face and words. "Are ya' truly Lucifer? What if you're a ghost possessing my big bro's body?"
Mammon intentionally loudened his gasp; his eyes were wide, one hand placed on his heart, while the other was grasping on his hair. He paused for a dramatic effect.
Lucifer brought his hand up quickly to pinch his brother's cheek. "You idiot. It's me, of course." He proceeded to ruffles Mammon's hair. "Come on, let's go before I change my mind and give you another chore as punishment. Maybe you could clean up the laboratory next time for a month."
He whispered the last part, but Lucifer knew Mammon could hear him, making the second-born whine.
The two exited the school, taking a detour through the streets.
"I thought yah were gonna give me another punishment." Mammon broke out the silence; Lucifer hummed before replying.
"Why would I? I only gave you a chore for skipping classes, but you being there for Asmodeus? You don't deserve punishment for that."
Mammon stared at the far distance. The cafe they were going to has a nearby sea, and he smiled at his elder brother's words; he enjoyed these simple moments between them. (They're rare. They don't hang out anymore like they used to do in the Celestrial realm. That's why, as much as possible, Mammon cherished these moments.)
Mammon could say that he's close with Lucifer, but not like before— It's weird. Lucifer is his older brother, his family. But as time passed by, Mammon started to get nervous whenever he had done something wrong. He doesn't want to anger and disappoint Lucifer. (But sometimes, he can't help it— he misses his big brother's attention.)
"We're here," Lucifer said. Mammon followed the latter's gaze and immediately formed star-shaped eyes.
"WOAH!! I didn't expect it to be this cool! I only saw the picture but never expected that it would be this big!"
Mammon kept looking around the newly built cafe. The cafe was a bit massive, with a view of the sea beside it. Its structure is similar to a casino. Mammon could already smell the fresh-baked bread and pies inside, making him giggle.
Mammon had loved the view it was showing; he could eat while staring at the horizon. The cafe was located on top of a hill, not too far from the beach. It looks so nostalgic and therapeutic that Mammon took his time admiring the whole place while Lucifer already entered the cafe.
Mammon wished it wasn't too expensive. He knows that Lucifer would be the one to pay, but he doesn't want to burden him with that kind of responsibility. The second-born tried to grasp the wallet on his bag, but then he hesitated. Mammon recalled that the money in there was a payment to his debt.
Ah, yes. Mammon needed to pay it today but decided it would be better to bond with his brother first.
He sighed, still has a firm grip on his bag. He's feeling unwanted emotions today. He wants to cry, laugh, or do something he doesn't usually do. Mammon was overwhelmed with emotions.
He remembered Levi's words that it's okay to be feeling emotions you usually can't explain. Sometimes, it doesn't have to be a reason.
Mammon's snapped out of his thoughts, thinking that Lucifer was likely waiting for him inside. He turned to see the display of different pastries outside, and Mammon immediately recognized Simeon's art.
Mammon recalled Simeon's word. He said that he's going to work part-time somewhere near the sea. And this made Mammon excited. He had already counted the treats and thinking which one would his brothers choose. After planning, he tried to hurry inside but suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder. Mammon looked over to his shoulder to see an unfamiliar demon. Their body is most likely the same size as Beelzebub but with a strict stare present. Mammon felt like he was burning.
"Heya! May I ask—who are you?" Mammon said; his tone wasn't that confident, and it's evident with his form that Mammon's going to run away in any second now.
He felt the grip on his shoulder got tighter, and the demon dragged Mammon into a less crowded area. He knows he's far powerful than this guy; he's one of the princes of Devildom. He's the Avatar of Greed. But man, he entirely wants to relax today. Mammon tried to stand with honor and kept his breathing in control.
The demon startled him. "Where's the money?"
And then Mammon realized.
"Oh!? You must be the brother's witch! Ah, here— give me a minute," Mammon took out his wallet and gave them the money. He doesn't feel that nervous anymore. Okay— he lied, maybe a little bit. Can't a demon have fears too? "Geez, you scared the hell out of me for a second there. The agreement was me and her meeting later." He muttered the last part.
But a dark aura surrounded him, and Mammon quickly backed away. He can't meet the other demon's eyes, but he can feel the rage from him.
Is the money not enough?? It can't be. I perfectly counted this; I also worked hard for this. What else could be missing???
"With all due respect, please don't go any nearer to him."
A voice. It must be Lucifer's. Mammon couldn't stop overthinking. What if Lucifer scolds him after this? What if Lucifer started to regret spending time with Mammon because of this?
Mammon looked up, tears threatening to fall. He saw his elder brother, standing behind them as classy as ever. His composure is straight, yet the glaring eyes are full of terror. Mammon recognized Lucifer's stance. It's for preparing himself to change into his demon form if the rest of his younger brothers are in serious trouble.
When the demon started to get closer to Mammon, the latter only felt a swift wind before realizing that Lucifer was there, in front of him now. "Didn't you hear what I said? What else do you need from him?"
"The money."
"It's not sufficient? Then alright, here." Lucifer took out his wallet to satisfy the demon in front of them. Mammon's full-out panicking now. His older brother saved him from trouble, and now he's going to be a disappointment in Lucifer's eyes.
"There, you got the money. Tell your sister that my brother had paid the debt." Lucifer dragged Mammon out of the other demon's sight. He looked back with sharp eyes.
"And as great as reasonable, if you're looking for Mammon—" He looked back with sharp eyes. "—strictly appear to see me. Thank you."
Both never turned their eyes back again as they entered the shop. Mammon quickly explained the whole situation. "I'm sorry! I'm sure— precisely sure that I had counted that money. And it's exactly the price the witch had been asking. I don't know what he's up to with—" He kept on babbling as they reached their reserved seats. Lucifer sighed.
"Look, stop chattering; it's annoying. I believe you. Can't I have a day where I relax with my little brother under no stress or orders whatsoever? Seeing you outside in that kind of situation is making my blood boil. How dare he waste such time when you and I could have been eating here already."
Mammon snickered, ah yeh— It's been so long that he forgot how dramatic Lucifer could be at times.
"Forget about it, Mammon. You had settled the debt, and the food that I ordered is already here. But make sure whenever you're going to meet someone concerning payment, always inform me. I'm serious. If the shares had been a burden to handle, you are welcome to visit my office anytime."
Lucifer already had bread in his mouth, but his expression is still irritable from the situation earlier. Mammon can feel his tears coming back again. Why am I so emotional today?
"Ah. Uhm, hey—" He called out to his older brother. "Thanks for backing me up earlier. I appreciated it!"
Lucifer munched the donut he was holding and then drank the newly served tea. His gaze was on the view outside, seemingly avoiding eye contact. "Hm? Of course. I'm your big brother after all, in case you forgot about it."
In moments like this, it was a rare scene between him and Lucifer. They usually argue and sometimes making each other's day stressful. But, just them eldest brothers, talking and sharing random topics— Mammon cherished this.
And behind that frown the eldest always wears, Lucifer could say the same too. He loved calm moments like this.
"But ain't Michael my first big brother?" Mammon teased. Lucifer rolled his eyes. "Silence, you have no elder brother other than me. Leviathan, Satan, Asmodeus, Beelzebub, and Belphegor, you all are my baby brothers." And when Lucifer realized what he said, he quickly replaced the topic. "And eat the dessert I ordered for you."
Mammon's eyes turned into stars immediately when he recognized the smell, "Woah, no way?! How did you know this was my favorite?!!! This desert is expensive! Big bro! You do love me."
Then they chatted, random topics or something concerning about their home that needs fixing. Nevertheless, the atmosphere around them is comforting and warming. After a while, they had finished eating, and the moon was already out. Both agreed to go home.
"We should invite the others here too!" Mammon stated as he breathed the cold wind that passed by them.
"Yes, that would be a pleasant bonding time. Just don't be too chaotic, please. It's hard to handle all six of you."
It was a great day, Mammon thought to himself. It was entertaining and soothing to talk with his big brother without insults nor orders. Lucifer treated him today; it was— nostalgic for Mammon. It's like he doesn't want this kind of treatment to end. But of course, as the little mischief, as he is, he asked one more request.
"Lucifer!" Mammon rolled the letter r, a bit of a whining tone. "It's night, and I'm tired, yah know? Can I request a piggyback ride?" He knows Lucifer will reject it immediately. So it wasn't like he meant it, already hoping for the worst.
But then Lucifer looked at him, a contemplating expression, before getting down on one knee.
"Alright, just this once. Hurry up before I regret my decision."
Mammon's eyes were wide; he smirked before quickly hugging Lucifer from behind. He felt himself getting lifted off, and it reminded him of the old times, back in the Celestial Realm.
Lucifer doesn't mind; he also missed this. But not like he's going to say this out loud.
I should start spending time with my little brothers whenever I'm free. That would be nice.
135 notes · View notes
cake-and-spades · 3 years
Note
Tell me about internalized arophobia please, thanks
I have been struggling with putting down my thoughts/ feelings for this ask for months, and I finally just did what I do best and did some research. I looked up internalized homophobia and obviously not all of these will apply to arophobia (or to everyone) but it’s a good place to expand from!  I’m so sorry this took so long anon 😭
Bold text is taken from the Rainbow Project (LINK) with anything I added in plain text underneath.
Trigger warnings for things mentioned but not described in detail, take care of yourselves y'all:
homophobia / transphobia / biphobia / arophobia / etc
self harm
abusive relationships
drinking / substance abuse
suicide
pedophilia
(if I've missed any please let me know and I'll add them above)
01. Denial of your sexual orientation to yourself and others.
Fun fact: for the first like 2 weeks after I found out what aromanticism was I refused to identify as aro because of like, the crushing fear and disappointment and the belief I’d never be happy. And of course I *had* to experience romantic attraction some day, I just *had* to, *everyone* does. (Oof)
02. Attempts to alter or change your sexual your orientation.
Do I even need to explain this one? “Maybe if I just try hard enough I’ll start liking someone. Fake it till you make it, right?”
03. Feeling you are never good enough.
Personally, whenever I used to think about platonically dating people/ having nonromantic partner(s) I’d start getting down on myself and think “they deserve a Real (TM) partner, a Romantic (TM) partner, they deserve more than the disappointment I would be” or alternately, the thought that I’m disappointing my parents by not giving them a child-in-law & grandchildren
04. Engaging in obsessive thinking and/or compulsive behaviours.
Not sure exactly how this one could relate, perhaps in obsessively seeking out romance (in fiction or irl) or exposing yourself to it knowing it makes you uncomfortable ?
05. Under-achievement or even over-achievement as a bid for acceptance.
The whole who gets to be an "ally" because they aren't *really* LGBT+ comes to mind
06. Low self esteem, negative body image.
Self explanatory, but I will also add: not wanting to be seen as a Romantic Person, policing your actions and your body / body language so no one could ever see you as anything other than Platonic or friends with benefits. Disliking the parts of you that are typically coded by society to be "romantic" things.
07. Contempt for the more open or obvious members of the LGBT community.
Self explanatory but also: Gatekeeping. I’m thinking especially gatekeeping people who aren’t “aro enough” to be considered aro (you will always be "aro enough" as long as you ID as aro!)
08. Contempt for those at earlier stages of the coming out process.
Contempt for “cringey aros / aces who make the whole community look bad / childish / heartless” when they are just discovering themselves and having a good time (and many times are just kids)
09. Denial that homophobia, heterosexism, biphobia or sexism are serious social problems.
The thought: “Sure arophobia exists, but it isn’t a *real* problem like homophobia / transphobia / biphobia” Alternately: “yeah it’s not perfect, but it’s not like I have *real problems*”
Also a personal note: I didn't like. recognize that we live in an arophobic society? Like society definitely wasn't built for us but Baby Aro me refused to understand that.
10. Contempt for those that are not like ourselves or contempt for those who seem like ourselves. Sometimes distancing by engaging in homophobic behaviours – ridicule, harassment, verbal or physical attacks on other LGB people.
This one is similar to the ones above.
11. Projection of prejudice onto another target group.
Terfs, gatekeepers, etc
12. Becoming psychologically abused or abusive or remaining in an abusive relationship.
Self explanatory :( But especially: staying in a relationship even though it's hurting you, whether because of your partner or just because it isn't a good fit for you as an aro person.
13. Attempts to pass as heterosexual, sometimes marrying someone of the other sex to gain social approval or in hope of ‘being cured’.
Y’all ever faked a crush or just chosen one at random? Y’all ever dated someone you knew you didn’t “like” like while hoping you’d catch feelings someday or thinking it was like, the natural “next step” for your friendship? Y’all ever fear that some day everyone would find out you “”weren’t normal?”” Y’all ever cry bc you know you’ll never love a partner the way they’ll love you, because their love is “”more pure/ real”” or some bullshit???? It's the internalized arophobia 😌
14. Increased fear and withdrawal from friend and relatives.
"They won't like me anymore when they realize I'm not the same as them" "They'll see me differently" etc etc etc
15. Shame or depression; defensiveness; anger or bitterness.
Self explanatory :(
16. School truancy or dropping out of school. Also, work place absenteeism or reduced productivity.
Self explanatory, avoidance of problems and people
17. Continual self-monitoring of one’s behaviours, mannerisms, beliefs, and ideas.
This one seems like it would tie in with #6, specifically monitoring yourself for the Correct Amount of romance, even if you're faking it.
18. Clowning as a way of acting out society’s negative stereotypes.
I have nothing to add here
19. Mistrust and destructive criticism of LGBT community leaders.
I don't think I need to elaborate on this one askdjfdkj
20. Reluctance to be around or have concern for children for fear of being seen as a paedophile.
God I don’t even know why I have this specific internalized arophobia/homophobia. Like??? It doesn’t make sense from an aro perspective but boy do I got it. I love kids and I have an education degree, but am still constantly afraid people see me as a creep
21. Conflicts with the law.
22. Unsafe sexual practices and other destructive risk-taking behaviours-including risk for HIV and other STIs.
Lack of care and respect for self :(
23. Separating sex and love, or fear of intimacy. Sometimes low or lack of sexual drive or celibacy.
I mean some of this is natural and healthy for aros by nature of being aro, but fear of intimacy. Fear of being Known
These last two are self explanatory :(
24. Substance abuse, including drink and drugs.
25. Thinking about suicide, attempting suicide, death by suicide.
https://www.rainbow-project.org/internalised-homophobia/
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rogerina-deacon · 4 years
Note
Hey could you wright something about being Bens girlfriend and having ADHD? Like Ben just helping you with your nervous energy and restlessness it can be fluff or Smut what ever you want. Thanks love
Pairing: Ben Hardy x Fem!Reader
Request: “Hey could you wright something about being Bens girlfriend and having ADHD? Like Ben just helping you with your nervous energy and restlessness it can be fluff or Smut what ever you want. Thanks love”
Summary: Ben finds the perfect way to help you get out your nervous energy.
Warnings: Smut! Face riding and hair playing specifically, but it’s overall really sweet and passionate
Word Count: 1500
A/N: Hi everyone! This is the first piece I’ve written in over a year, so please let me know what you think! Also, if I tagged you and you’d rather not be included in the taglist from here on out, please send me a message and I’ll remove you, I completely understand as it’s been so long since I’ve posted and people’s interests often change! Thanks so much for reading if you do, and remember feedback is much appreciated!
“You feeling alright, love?”
Those soft words from your boyfriend mere feet away on a nearby living room chair took you out of your mind for the first time in a while. You and your partner Ben were spending the Sunday of your weekend off simply lazing around the apartment, him spending his time reading a book he recently picked up, and you not quite sure what to do, so you sat on the couch rewatching an old show as you mindlessly scrolled through various apps, needing desperately to be stimulated by different things all at once.
“What do you mean?” You asked, not quite sure what he noticed about you that you hadn’t.
“Your leg’s been bouncing a mile a minute, love” He said, lightly chuckling as he did, unsure if you’d even noticed you were doing. Which you had, kind of, though it wasn’t something you were doing consciously.
“Yeah, tends to happen, have you not noticed it before?” You questioned, as it was something that happened most of the time if you were sitting, and if you were standing it would change to fiddling with the hem of your shirt, or sleeves if they were long enough. He knew you got restless because of your ADHD, it wasn’t anything new in your life, or relationship for that matter as you two have been dating for nearly three years, and friends for years before that.
“Of course I have, it tends to happen more though when you’re having bad days or haven’t taken your meds. Have you?” He asked genuinely, knowing how difficult it can be to cope without them.
“No, the pharmacy was out when I went to refill the other day, should be in soon though.’ You said, leg’s bouncing more as your brain filtered out all the other stimuli you had going on to talk to him.
“Any way you’d like me to help, love?” He said, moving from his seat on the chair to sitting right next to you, one arm around your shoulder, his hand of the other softly caressing your thigh, still bouncing but less so once he started to sooth you. He softly placed a kiss on your cheek, resting his forehead on the side of your head, his breath softly hitting your face.
“No idea, but if you can think of anything, I’m all ears” You said, a bit shaky and shy. He’s always had the same effect on you, surprising given all the time you’ve known each other, but that’s the Ben Hardy charm you suppose.
“Well,” He started, his voice low and soft in your ear, “I do remember one thing that helped…” He trailed off.
“Yeah? And what was that?” You asked, though really, you had a good idea of what he had in mind, based on his voice and how he wouldn’t out right say it.
“I seem to remember the last time this happened, we found a way for you to stim that was enjoyable for the both of us.” He said softly, his head moving down to place soft kisses along your neck and shoulders.
“How about we get more comfy in our room, yeah?” He suggested, taking your hand and motioning his head to the bedroom you two shared down the hall. You nodded in agreement, and he stood before helping you up, only to pick you up bridal style and carry you there, the door already barely ajar so he just had to push his back against it before walking in sideways so you both could fit.
“I’ll never understand how you do that without a problem every time.” You stated as he laid you onto the bed, before putting on some romantic instrumental music, knowing you needed sound for this to truly be effective. He took his shirt off before joining you on the bed, where he helped you take off your pajama pants as you took off the shirt you were wearing, an old tee of his you had grabbed from the dresser the night before. As soon as that shirt was tossed to the floor, Ben began kissing all over your torso, his lips only leaving your body to say sweet nothings that mean everything. Your fingers tangled in his hair, needing something to do and that seeming like the perfect thing for it. His hands traveled all over your body, caressing and squeezing and just overall trying to show you he finds you perfect. As his hands moved along your body, so did his lips, slowly making their way to their end goal, his tongue gently licking between your folds as his hands settled around your thighs. He knew he had to properly warm you up before you took control in order for this to work, so he gently built up your desire for it, softly licking and swirling his tongue around your clit, flicking ever so softly left to right, all of his moves precisely calculated so you feel them, but just barely, not wanting to build up too fast. Your hands began twirling his hair even faster, so he could tell you were ready to start.
“You ready, love?” He asked, needing confirmation, which you quickly gave with a nod and a soft “yeah”, prompting him to turn and lay on his back, your body adjusting so he had the room to get comfortable before his hands rested on your thighs once more, signaling for you to climb on top of him, your wet pussy hovering over him as you leaned forward to hold the headboard for balance before you slowly lowered yourself onto his mouth, his lips and tongue instantly working you just how he knew you liked it. You soon began moving your hips to where it felt good, the movement relieving the nervous energy pent up in you as you slowly let go, the sounds of the music filling your brain as you bucked your hips back and forth, your hands soon tangling in his hair, not to pull or direct him, but simply to play with, the soft strands of hair twirling and tangling between your fingers, the texture helping you focus on the pleasure he was giving you, his mouth following your hips as they moved as you needed them to, his lips sucking and tongue flicking your clit in the patterns he’s learned you love, his tongue strength of doing this for so long for you showing as he just kept going and going, hardly needing breaks and having perfected managing to breath through his nose during this.
You were completely lost in this, pleasure coursing through you as you simply existed through this. He was helping you get overstimulated in the best way, the mix of the music and the way you moved your hips and played with his hair all while he went down on you, it helped tire you out better than imagined. You’d think your mind would wander too easily, but he provided just enough stimulation so that wasn’t a problem. So much so, in fact, you could feel your orgasm slowly building, the frantic movement of your hips and whimpers telling Ben he needed to keep that same rhythm, and he doesn’t disappoint. His hands grip tighter on your thighs, his tongue going harder but the same pace, pushing you over the edge as you unravel above him, your hands moving back from his hair to the headboard, gripping hard as you moaned and slowed your hips, everything having tired you out, your nervous energy now turned to post-orgasm bliss.
Ben slowly moved out from under you, kneeling up to help you lay down, his hands on your waist and thighs as he did so, knowing your thighs had to be sore after all of that, and your shallow, slow breathing an indicator that this worked. As you relaxed, he laid there next to you, arms around you as you came down, eyes closed with your head resting on his chest, an arm draped over his torso. Your hand drifted further down though, where just as suspected, you could feel his hard-on, though he quickly took your hand in his.
“Did you want any help with that, hon?” You asked, looking sweetly up at him with those eyes he never could resist.
“No, love, it’ll pass, I only did that for you and your pleasure.” He said with a chuckle, giving your hand a squeeze as he brushed his thumb along yours. “But if it doesn’t and you get your energy back up, we’ll see” He said sweetly, placing a delicate kiss on your forehead before taking your jaw in his hand, tilting it up ever so slightly before connecting his lips with yours.
“I love you, baby” You said once the kiss was done, it just feeling right to say.
“I love you too, sweetheart” He agreed, placing one last kiss on your forehead once more before settling into a post-sex nap with you.
PERMANENT TAGLIST: @thewinchesterchronicles @queen-irl-af @deacytits @the-holy-black-hole @radiobribri @deaky-deacy-denky @queenbbarnes @brianprobablywill @nyikondlovu @thatswhatiam-lovernotafighter @drowseoftaylor @johndeaconshands
BEN TAGLIST: @littleliv1
SMUT TAGLIST: @rogerfckintaylor
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Text
Baby, You’re Perfect
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Pairing: BNHA Boys x reader
Warnings: Weight insecurity, negative body image/icky thoughts, body shaming from relatives, talks about skipping a meal once, general stuff like that. Kirishima’s reader is actively trying to lose weight. Cursing/language throughout (but mostly in Bakugou’s)
Characters: Bakugou, Kirishima, Kaminari
Author’s Note:
And here we have yet another request that is super old. I’m talking this has been chillin in my inbox for three good months. My sincere apologies, anon. And again, I’m sorry that that had to happen to you. Your grandma has no right to speak to you in that way. You’re making great progress and that’s amazing! Keep going strong, I believe in you. Anyhow, I had a lot of fun doing this request! We all need more chubby y/n on this website.
Yes, it says Hawks but I contacted the anon and we switched it to Denki bc I don’t write for Keigo (and we had a lovely conversation. they’re very nice :D). 
Also the first two insults are things that have actually been said/done to me irl (hehe tasty self projection) and the last one in Denki’s is from an episode from Tuca and Birdie (it’s a good show).
Anyway, be nice to people. Respect others and speak to them as equals. We’re all human beings here, trying to get by. We’re also like a month away from 2021, I shouldn’t have to say that >:(
Happy Thanksgiving!
-Sugar
━━━━━━ ◦ ❖ ◦ ━━━━━━
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Bakugou:
You couldn’t take it anymore. You were tired of their faces, tired of their words. You were headed home early, and you would not be sorry.
You didn’t hate your family. They could just be a little . . . difficult sometimes.
At first, it had gone well. You’d arrived at your aunt’s house yesterday for a family gathering and met up with everyone. They’d hugged you and asked you how you were doing. They’d even asked after your pro hero boyfriend, who you had chosen not to bring along for the purpose of spending some quality alone time with your family.
But then it happened; the thing you’d been dreading, the type of comment you’d hoped against all things you wouldn’t hear this time. But there it was.
You were nearly done preparing for lunch, helping to place dishes of food out in the backyard for your family meal. Your aunt was starting to serve people food, and you happened to glance up to see one of your cousins making herself a plate.
“Do you want any more?” your aunt asked your cousin, ready with her ladle.
“No, thank you, I’ve got enough.” Your cousin flipped her long perfect hair over a perfectly narrow shoulder. “I wouldn’t want to get fat like—” her gaze wandered over to you, meeting your eyes pointedly, “—some people.”
You faltered. Had she really just said that? About you? Well, it wasn’t impossible that it would come from her, but seriously? Today?
You swallowed a lump that had started forming in your throat, setting down the new stack of paper plates. Your aunt shot you a pitying glance. Was she even going to say something? Would she call your cousin out on her words?
No. She just moved on. Moved on like you should have. But something about it stuck with you. Your cousin’s words and implications rang through your mind, making you feel sick to your stomach. You shouldn’t let it bother you this much. You were doing better, both with your habits and your confidence. So why did it hurt so bad?
The darker thoughts you’d kept at bay began to come back; you were worthless, you were ugly, you were undeserving. Why wouldn’t they stop? Why was your stomach churning and your hand shaking? Before you knew it, hints of tears began to prick at your eyes.
No.
You weren’t going to give her the satisfaction of seeing you this way. But you were no longer interested in staying, any sense of hunger leaving you for sick dread.
Next thing you knew, you had said an early goodbye and put your things in the car, headed back home. Maybe driving wasn’t the best idea, since now you were alone with your thoughts. But crying wasn’t worth it. It was a bad idea, especially since now was the time to focus on the road ahead.
You couldn’t have gotten home sooner, a sense of relief washing over you once you pulled into the driveway. You unlocked your front door, pulling your bags in behind you. You heard movement coming from the kitchen as you set everything down; the sound of the faucet turning off signaling to you that Katsuki had heard you come in.
Heaving a sigh, you tried to chase the negative thoughts from your head. They shouldn’t be there, and it wasn’t something to dwell on. You were home again, and you wouldn’t have to deal with your family for another few months at least.
Bakugou’s head peeked out from around the doorframe, double checking that it was you who had walked in. “What are you doing here?” he called, ducking back to whatever he’d been doing in the kitchen.
“Hello to you too.” You tried to keep the tartness out of your voice, but some of it must have crept back in. The sounds from the other room stopped again, and the house went eerily quiet. Huffing, you dragged your luggage into your shared bedroom.
You felt drained, that was the only way to describe it. You couldn’t even bring yourself to hang your clothes in the closet. Giving up, you laid down on the bed and stared up at the ceiling. You couldn’t help but hear your cousin’s words ringing over and over in your head, reminding you of the countless years of both internal and external torment you’d gone through regarding your weight.
The sound of footsteps in the doorway made you glance down, registering a spiky blond head of hair approaching you on the bed. You said nothing as the mattress dipped next to you, indicating that Bakugou had come up on your side.
The two of you were silent together for a long moment, and a stolen glance told you that Katsuki was mirroring you with his head resting on his arms as he stared at the blank ceiling.
“Are you going to tell me what’s got you in this mood?” he finally asked.
You sighed. “My cousin can just be a pain sometimes.”
“She the one you were telling me about or is it someone else?”
“Same girl.”
“Hmm.” Bakugou continued to keep his eyes trained solely up above. “What did she do this time?”
“Called me fat.” You tried to keep your voice even. You were simply stating a fact. It shouldn’t bother you like this, right? Even so, the tears you’d been forcing back once again rushed to your eyes, causing your tone to pitch. You swallowed them down again, blinking rapidly. This wasn’t something to spend time crying over.
“Don’t let it get to you,” Katsuki said, a little unhelpfully. “I don’t want to see you hating yourself.”
You frowned at this. “I don’t hate myself,” you said, thinking about your words for a moment before you spoke them. “I don’t hate my body. It’s just that . . . sometimes I wish it looked a little better, a little different. Sometimes I don’t feel like I’m enough as I am.”
“Don’t tell me you think you’d be happier looking like everyone else.” Bakugou’s gaze had shifted from a blank one to a glare.
“I don’t know,” you said, shrugging. “It’s just . . . hard sometimes. Being like this.”
Finally Bakugou rolled to face you, taking one of your hands in his. “I know you . . . struggle with your self-image or whatever, but you can’t let it take over your life, got it? You can’t just waste it worrying about what everyone thinks of you. You’re never going to be able to please everyone, but if they’ve got a problem with you, then they can go fuck themselves. You want to know the one person’s opinion who matters most? Yours. You have to be the one who’s taking care of yourself.” Katsuki paused for a moment, absentmindedly fiddling with your fingers as he considered his words.
“You want to know who’s opinion is the second most important?” he continued, his voice starting to get a little more mumbly. “Mine. I picked you because I love you. I love everything about you, from your shitty, annoying personality to your gorgeous body. You are so much more than just ‘enough’ for me, so don’t go worrying about that. You’re everything to me, and you know that, right? I love you no matter what, so don’t let this ruin your whole day.” He kissed your knuckles, signaling that he had said his peace.
You smiled at him, a tear or two finally sneaking past your defenses. “How—how do you do that?”
“What?”
“Sometimes you say something horribly stupid and I swear I hate you, and then next thing I know, you’re telling me everything I need to hear.”
“Tch, I can be eloquent whenever I want. It’s a choice.”
“Alright.” You rolled over so you could properly face him. “Can I have a hug?”
Bakugou rolled his eyes, but nevertheless held open his arms. You happily snuggled into the hard, built muscle enveloping you, offering a beautiful contrast to your own soft body.
“Do you need me to talk to your cousin?” Bakugou asked. “I’ll do it.”
“Nah, let her go.” You nuzzled your nose into his neck. “I love you.”
“I love you too.”
______________
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Kirishima:
You honestly expected your family to last longer when it came to keeping from upsetting you. Nevertheless, maybe you were being a little too optimistic. But come on, did they have to ruin everything the literal second you walked through the door?
Even after the scathing comment, followed by a half-hearted, hasty brushing off, you forced yourself to spend time with them. It wasn’t often that you got to see this half of your family, so you decided to ignore it with the rest of them.
But as you sat on the couch sipping tea, you were unable to focus on the light conversation buzzing around you. The event that happened mere minutes before played over again in your mind, causing you to wince.
You’d walked into the house, prepared to greet everyone and have a nice time, when your aunt looked up from her position on her arm chair. “Hello, (Y/N),” she’d begun. “Ah, look, you’re still fat.”
Your heart had almost literally stopped beating in your chest as you froze in the threshold. Had she just said what you thought you heard? You must have been mistaken, right?
Any positive anticipation you’d had of seeing your relatives had plummeted to your feet, and you strongly considered turning around in place and leaving without another word.
But you couldn’t do that, of course not. Then your aunt had begun to babble something about how it made you look cute like a baby, but her words had already done their damage.
You tolerated the rest of your afternoon with them, but it was a great relief to you when you were finally able to leave and go home. As soon as you pulled into your driveway, you exhaled a sigh of relief. It was over with, and it hadn’t been that bad.
Eijirou wasn’t home, but you knew he wouldn’t be long after you. You went about making dinner, knowing he’d appreciate it once he got home. He was always so tired these days.
Even so, as you stirred broth in a pot, your aunt’s words rang in your head. You vaguely remembered telling her about your weight loss a month ago. You figured you’d been making considerable progress, and you knew that no one was more proud of you than Eijirou himself. But had it really made a difference?
After a moment of fretting, you turned off the stove. You walked into your shared bedroom, flicking on the light. Your eyes caught sight of your reflection in the mirror. You frowned, going up to it. Turning your body this way and that, you tried to see if you recognized a change in your appearance. You lifted your shirt, only to wince at yourself and tug it back down. You pinched at your arms, your thighs, and your cheeks, growing almost angry at the way your fingers sunk into the flesh.
Maybe you hadn’t been making as much progress as you’d thought. Or the progress you had made wasn’t enough. Without you even realizing it, your mind began to toy with ways to speed things up. Guiltily, you found yourself wondering if Eijirou would notice if you just skipped dinner that night.
You shook your head to clear away the intrusive idea. No, that wouldn’t solve anything. Eijirou had told you that he’d help you lose weight the right way, so you’d stay healthy and be able to keep it off. It would be best to listen to him.
Still, you found your eyes glued to your reflection. You wouldn’t consider yourself vain, but there was something in the way that your eyes traced over your curves, wondering just how they might look on you if only you were a little smaller . . . .
Movement behind you in the mirror caught your eye, and you were quick to recognize a head of spiky red hair. You must not have heard Kirishima come in through the front door.
“Hello,” you said with less cheer than usual.
“Hey, babe,” he greeted you, coming up from behind to give you a hug.
You leaned back into his chest as you both stared at each other’s reflections.
“Checking out my perfect girlfriend?” he teased, referring to how your eyes continued to trace down your body. “That’s my job, you know.”
You snorted, gently rubbing at his forearm.
“So how was your family?”
“Okay,” you shrugged.
“I saw you left something on the stove. Are you doing okay?”
Oh, Kirishima. How did he do it?
You shrugged. “I guess I didn’t really have a good time there. Got a little upset is all.”
Eijirou frowned. “What happened?”
You took one of his hands in yours and began to play with his fingers, now determined to keep your eyes from catching another glimpse of yourself. “My aunt told me I was fat.”
You missed the flash of genuine anger that shot through Kirishima’s eyes. He knew this was something you’d struggled with for a long time. Your aunt had no business making comments like that about your body, especially now.
“How are you feeling?” he asked, deciding to keep himself calm for your sake.
You continued to fiddle with his large hands. “I just worry sometimes that I’m not doing enough,” you mumbled. “What if it doesn’t work? What if I’m just meant to look like this?” You sniffled, hating the sudden tears that were beginning to fill your eyes.
“Honey . . .” Eijirou spun you around and held you to his chest, running a hand down the back of your head as you finally let the tears slide down your face. You nuzzled into his shirt, appreciating the warm, familiar feeling of it. “Even if you weren’t able to lose more weight, you know I’d still love you, right?” he said in a tender voice. “I’d think you’re beautiful either way.”
He tilted your chin up so he could look into your eyes, giving you one of the most loving gazes you’d ever seen. “And besides, we’re not together because of how you look. I love you for you. I love your personality, and how you always say and do the cutest things.” He bent down for a quick kiss, caressing your cheek as he pulled away. “I love your laugh, and I love looking into your beautiful eyes . . . .” He kissed you again, beginning to gently guide your bodies to the bed at the other wall.
Eijirou laid you down in the center of the mattress, hovering over you as he went in for another kiss. “I love your body too. This body, just the way it is. I love how it feels to hold you at night—” he kissed your neck. “—I love your chest, your butt, your arms, your thighs—” he nuzzled his nose against your face and neck. “—your cute tummy.” He pushed himself up and gazed down at it with such a genuine expression of love, you almost started tearing up again. “The cutest tummy in the world. And I love it because it’s yours.”
With that, he bent down again and lifted up your shirt just enough to give it a little kiss. You couldn’t help but let a giggle slip from your lips, which only made his ruby red eyes dart up to meet yours mischievously.
“You like that? What if I did it . . . again!” He placed a second kiss in a different spot, going for another and then another. You broke out into laughter, the sensation of his lips and nose brushing over your sensitive skin making you squirm in his hold.
Soon, he was laughing himself. He nuzzled into your skin one last time and blew a raspberry against your skin.
“Eiji—!” you began to protest through a laugh.
“What?” He smirked at you, moving up and settling his chin in the valley of your chest.
You smiled right back at him, bringing up your hand to brush the backs of your fingers against his cheek. “I love you.”
Kirishima took hold of your hand and brought it to his lips, kissing the backs of your knuckles as he looked into your eyes. “I love you too, baby.” He held your hand in his, getting lost for a moment simply looking at your face.
Eventually he sat up, laying down next to you and pulling you into his chest. “I’m proud of you too,” he told you, tucking your head under his chin. “I know you’re actively making a change for the better, and you’re doing really well. Results won’t happen immediately, you just have to stick with it sometimes.”
You sighed through your nose, taking his hand in yours again. “I know. I just get discouraged sometimes is all.”
“And I’ll just be here to put you back on track. You’ve got this, you know.” He hugged you tight against him, rubbing your back. “Are you hungry?” he finally asked. “I’ll help you make dinner.”
“Sure,” you said, chuckling lightly.
“What? We both have to eat, and you know me. I’m a hungry shark.”
You laughed again, leaning up to kiss his jaw.
“Feeling better?” he asked.
“Yeah, a bit.”
“Well, there’s always more where that came from.” He kissed your forehead. “I’m here for you, okay?”
______________
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Kaminari:
If there was one thing Denki hated more than anything, it was seeing you upset. 
He could tell something was off the moment you came through the front door. You were too quiet, and that bothered him. When you finally made it up to your shared room, Kaminari was already watching the doorway for you.
He noticed immediately that your eyes were puffy and a little red. Even your posture looked defeated and slumped over.
“Hey, Denks,” you said once you noticed him stretched out on the bed. His heart broke even further when he saw you try for a smile that didn’t quite reach your eyes.
“Hey, hey, what’s the matter?” Kaminari got up, clearing the space between you so he could put his hands on your shoulders.
“I—I just,” you began to stammer out, feeling the flimsy dam you’d placed behind your eyes begin to falter. “I . . . don’t know if I want to talk about it right now.” You covered your burning face with your palms. “It’s stupid anyway. I shouldn’t let things like that get to me.”
Kaminari frowned, trying to figure out what might have made you so upset. But he wasn’t one to pry when it came to situations like these, and he knew you’d tell him on your own time.
Even so, he led you to where he’d once taken position on the bed, pulling you up with him. He knew that sometimes you simply wanted to be distracted from things, so he decided to do just that. Allowing you to settle in next to him, he picked his controller up from the covers again where he’d set it down.
You noticed he’d been playing Minecraft. You let yourself take a mild interest in his mining session that you caught him in the middle of. You watched him wander through a cave system; placing torches, killing the occasional zombie, and mining out various ores he happened upon.
What you didn’t see was how often he shot you glances, studying your face for any signs of you getting upset again. He saw when you finally took your eyes off his screen, frowning distantly as you twisted the material of the blanket underneath you.
Before he could ask you again what was going on, you opened your mouth to speak. “Do you think this outfit is too much?”
Denki faltered, confused. “No? What do you mean by that? I think you look really pretty.”
You pursed your lips. Clearly that wasn’t the answer you’d wanted. “I just—I don’t know.” You frowned and went back to avoiding his eyes.
“Are you going to tell me what happened today?” Denki asked. A sudden idea struck him. Before you could answer him again, he stood up on the bed and walked over to a shelf you kept just above it. He pulled down a large stuffed Pikachu he’d gotten you a few years ago, and went back to sitting next to you. “Would it be easier to tell him?”
Denki positioned the toy in his lap, grabbing hold of its little arms and letting it go through various motions, starting with a little wave at you.
You couldn’t help but snort at Kaminari’s antics, looking from the plushie to the curious but concerned expression on your boyfriend’s face.
“Your Pikachus are worried about you.” Denki lifted it up higher on his chest, continuing to fidget and wave the arms back and forth in a little dance. “You saw your family today, right? How did that go?”
Your face fell again and you shrugged. “It went well I guess. My grandma just said something dumb and it made me upset.”
Denki frowned, lifting the arms of the Pikachu so its hands were on its pink cheeks. “What did she say?”
You shrugged again. “I was messing around with my cousins and I said I looked like a snacc. And then she said that snacks were probably what made me so fat in the first place.”
Denki’s frown deepened. “That’s not very nice.”
“I don’t think she knew what I was talking about, to be fair. And maybe it’s a little funny. I mean, she’s not wrong.” You rested your chin in your hands, sighing. “It just caught me off guard. It’s a dumb thing to be upset over, like I said—”
“Hey.” Denki met your eyes. “It’s not dumb. You have every right to be upset.” He held his arms open to you. “Come here.”
You sat up, letting him embrace you.
“Do you need me to remind you how beautiful you are and how much I love you?” he asked from next to your ear. “Because I’ll do it.”
He took your shy smile as a yes, letting you settle back as he proceeded to lift up the stuffed yellow toy.
“Are you hearing this, bro?” he addressed it, throwing a serious look on his face. “The most gorgeous person on the planet is sad. We have to do something about it.”
Denki put the Pikachu’s paw on its chin, tapping it for a second before removing it again. “What’s that?” he asked it. “You have an idea?”
He lifted the toy to his ear, pretending to listen to it for a moment as he nodded along. Once he was satisfied, Denki scooched himself even closer to you. He brought Pikachu’s nose up to your cheek and made a kiss sound with his lips. Setting the toy down beside you on the bed, he motioned for you to come sit in his lap.
You obeyed, settling yourself in between his thighs and wrapping your legs around his hips.
“There you go,” he muttered, slotting his nose beside yours as he touched foreheads with you. “I love you and you’re the most important person in my life. You know that, right?” He waited for you to nod before continuing. “And I know that you can feel a little insecure sometimes with how you look. You’ve got bad days, and you have good days. It’s my job to be there for you on these bad days, and you can be there for me when I have mine. I want you to know that you’re so beautiful and I wouldn’t want you any other way.”
He connected your lips to his for a long moment, trying to convey all his feelings for you into it. “And don’t let anyone make you feel like you’re less-than. They’re not the kind of person you should be listening to. Trust me when I say that you’re perfect just being you.” Denki wiped a tear trail off your cheek with his thumb, leaning in to kiss the skin there. 
“Thanks, Denki,” you said, your voice just above a whisper.
He gave you a soft, caring smile; his fingers still lingering on your cheek. “Is there anything you want to do together to make you feel better? We could watch a movie, we could snuggle, whatever you want.”
You leaned in and hugged him tight. “I love you.”
He hugged you back. “I love you too. You’re my sunshine nugget, and it would take a heck of a lot to ever change that.”
━━━━━━ ◦ ❖ ◦ ━━━━━━
Taglist: @basicaegyo​ @fourteenow​ @iiminibattlehero​ @katsugay​​ @nabo39​ @onepieceask​ @pyrofanatic​​ @sendhelpimstupid​ @xoxopam4​​ 
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how-to-tucute · 3 years
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Hello
This blog popped in my mind out of nowhere today and its a miracle I still remember the password. I read mod :3′s post and I felt an immense sense of shame and guilt because of it so I wanted to write something too here. 
I think its been 3 years now since I came online on tumblr and I’ve done a lot of growing up during that time. I’ve come out as non-binary and come to terms with the fact that I experience gender dysphoria. My views on politics and life has changed a lot as well because of it. I knew the blog had become toxic in the end and I take full responsibility of my past actions. 
This is in no means an excuse but a lot of my view points in the past was a direct result of wanting to fit in with anyone who would be nice to me, I latch on to kindness. I got pulled into spaces which I didn’t understand were actually hostile towards me and in a lot of ways I was allowed in only as a “token”. The glamour of being accepted was tempting and I blindly followed anyone who wanted me in their space because I was afraid I would lose the last place I felt safe. I have since entered irl queer spaces and learnt the people I was protecting were wrong. I was raised in a small no-name town all my life in india so I was parroting a lot of views drilled into me and took everything being said to me as fact which I continued out of habit, online as well. I’ve since moved to a semi-big city with active organizations which have helped me a lot with dealing with my violently homophobic family and learning to trust that the world isn’t out to get me. I was projecting a lot of my own insecurities onto others “why can’t I have that medical help? why don’t I get to experience that happiness/safety? Am I not allowed to have a community?” I was immensely envious. I didn’t want to accept the circumstances of my life. The realization that everyone is suffering here and I’m not in anyway alone, hit me like a brick once I moved out of my house and was allowed to have friends without any supervision irl, (my family had threatened to put a police complaint on someone who tried to help me get out when I was 18 and it led to complete ostracism when it got out, so I sought comfort online) I was also outed recently but that’s a story for some other time. 
Just like mod :3 I realized the problem with transmedicalism and how harmful it is after I left this blog for good and stopped being in regular touch with the people I was friends with previously. I’ve only told a few of them about my change in gender identity (I don’t think any of the other mods know) and political views because even if I haven’t talked to them a lot in over 3 years I am still terrified they’ll reject me? I don’t know if it makes sense. it doesn’t make sense to me either. 
 A lack of medical help isn’t the fault of people who are suffering from the illness, it’s never the fault of the sufferers. We exist in a broken system built to be disadvantageous towards us. I carried hate inside me because I didn’t want to be grouped with the “loud ones” and now I’m part of the loud ones. I have completely abandoned all transmed/radfem ideals/ideologies (the latter of which, even while I was part of, I disagreed immensely with). I was naive in thinking either of them held any truth to them. 
In the end, these are the changes in my views.
- your body your choice. I will fight for your right to have a choice. I do not live in your body and do not and will not understand your relationship with it. But I will try my best to get you any help in making it more comfortable.
- I’m not a Person of color. I live in a country which has little to no racial diversity. I do not live as a person of color. I live as an indian. I’m part of the majority here. My views and experiences are limited to this country. I can’t use them to talk over someone who lives and experiences things differently in another country. 
-  Freedom of speech doesn’t excuse you from facing the consequences of your words. The best apology is amplifying the voices of those you tried to silence.
I know I can’t un-hurt the people I hurt in the past, but I hope you see the sincerity in my words. I’m sorry.
-mod owo
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softkuna · 4 years
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𝚁𝙴𝙽𝚃-𝙰-𝙱𝙾𝚈𝙵𝚁𝙸𝙴𝙽𝙳 | Hinata
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𝚆𝚎𝚕𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚁𝙴𝙽𝚃-𝙰-𝙱𝙾𝚈𝙵𝚁𝙸𝙴𝙽𝙳! 𝙴𝚗𝚓𝚘𝚢 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚏𝚒𝚛𝚜𝚝 𝚍𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑... 𝙷𝙸𝙽𝙰𝚃𝙰 𝚂𝙷𝙾𝚈𝙾.
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Anxiety was a fun thing to deal with sometimes. You know - like when you triple checked the details of the test date you had scheduled today. You pressed a hand to your chest as you woke your phone. Eyes were glued to the pin on the map that your date, Hinata Shoyo: Rental Boyfriend, put on it. You thought maybe, just maybe, he canceled last minute or after seeing your face IRL. A chill ran through you and you muttered to no one in particular, “God, how embarrassing would that be…”
  As you swiped through the app, you pat all around your neck, your cheek, your collarbone in a few nervous motions. Sure, you knew the area. Sure, you went out a few times to sketch the roads for a comic or two. But as you stood, cool fingers drumming nervously along your skin, it all felt unfamiliar.
  A voice cried your name out, jolting your attention away from insecurity for a moment. You squinted, thinking you misheard. The wind! That’s all it was. Just as you were about to check your phone for the nth time, you caught a glimpse of tangerine. Through the hoard of 9-5ers, five fingers raised in a wave until a broad shoulder shimmied its way through the crowd.
“H-Hinata?” His name came out a lot more hushed than you intended and you could feel the heat of your cheeks. Oh no. He’s cute. Duh. You knew he was. He had a profile picture and some extra pics that you and your friend scrolled through the night prior. One caught your eye in particular; it was with a dog that wasn’t his according to the caption (and the added note of ‘but imma get a big boi some day’’). There was another with a guy with short black hair. They all radiated a type of warmth and welcome to them even if those around him seemed ready to punch a wall - a trait not missed out on in person.
  He beamed, taking your hand in his as though it were as natural as the sun shining, “Hey babe!”
  The words put a bar in the cogs of your mind, stopping all rational thought.  Babe. Babe?! Oh fuck. I’m babe! Oh wait. Yeah that’s right. You rented him to be your boyfriend. It’s supposed to be natural. You scolded yourself for forgetting that simple fact. 
Hinata laced his fingers through yours and you could feel the slight dampness of his palm. The thought that he may be as nervous as you put you slightly at ease. It would make sense as he didn’t have any reviews or ratings or anything. He was new! A beta-boyfriend babe!
  It took a moment or two for you to realize that not only was he guiding you down the sidewalk, but you had been staring at nothing but your shoes the entire way there. Shyly, you apologized. 
  “For what, babe? Oh! Wait! I didn’t get to mention yet,” Bright eyes burned with excitement as they tilted over his shoulder, “That’s a cute dress!” He genuinely thought so, too. Trying to act all coupl-y with a stranger was definitely weird, but, like anything he tried, he wanted to put his best effort in. Hinata wasn’t sure on what to expect, truthfully. When looking at your profile after the booking was made, he was caught off guard by how cute you were. In person seemed even worse. Better? Hell if he knew.
  As a lanky waiter shuffled you both into a booth, you were off put by your boyfriend slipping in next to you. Right smack dab next to you. Thigh touching thigh and the heat of his sent a shiver up your spine. You placed a hand on your chest again and spent more time reading a menu than you thought you ever had before.
  Hinata’s expression fell thoughtfully as he saw the slight shake in your slender digits and the way your teeth gnashed at your lower lip. He tilted his head with a small laugh and a nudge to your ribs with his elbow. The corners of his mouth piquing to such a point you could practically feel the mischievousness from it, “Play along, ‘kay? Kay?”
  Suspiciously, you peaked over the top of the menu roof you made with a nod. As the waiter returned, a strong muscled arm wrapped around your shoulder and snuggled you close. Mouth falling into an ajar ‘o’, your confusion was as palpable as his joy, “It’s my girlfriend’s birthday today! You guys got some cake, maybe a candle or OOOH a song?”
  “Hinata!” You smacked his head with the menu, “It’s n-“
  He brought a finger to his lips to silent-shush you, lashes dipping in a wink. You smiled pleasantly, yet awkwardly at the waiter and in the least convincing tone, chimed,  “It’s my birthday. Yaaay.”
  “See! How could you deny that!” His sheer and pointed enthusiasm made up for your lack thereof.
  The waiter, not buying any of it but needing the tips to pay his rent, congratulated you before excusing himself. Ten minutes later, two others trailed behind him singing a specialty birthday tune. In their hands rested the most delicious looking chocolate cake. To say you inhaled that thing would be an understatement. It was creamy, rich, everything you could’ve wanted in a cake.
  “Take a bite!” You offered a forkful to your date, one hand below to catch the droppings. Obliging gleefully, he did.
  “‘m pwetty bad wif dates but I saw you like fweets!” The words came between chews, and he gestured here and there as he swallowed, “Glad you liked it cause we got five more restaurants to try!”
  “Excuse me?!”
  And just like that, Hinata whisked you from one restaurant to another. Each one was slightly ritzier than the last and with each one, he could see the tense scrunch of your shoulders melt away. 
He made you feel safe and you started to joke with him more openly, smile more frequently, and sarcastically quip at him. He liked the way you smacked his arm every time he called the waiters over too dramatically. He liked the way you acted surprised they’d come around the corner with cakes and songs. You managed to melt his heart with the cutest ‘Oh! Babe!’ whenever he tried to genuinely surprise you. He adored watching your eyes light up whenever you got a taste of each decadent sweet. It would be an outright lie to deny that you feeding him made his heart flutter, too.
  You clung to Hinata’s arm, cheek resting heavily on bicep as your stomach decided to churn all the sugar you ate like it was a tilt-a-whirl. He patted your hand, thinking you were just trying to be cute, “So, what made you want to rent someone?” 
  The night sky took over the afternoon sun. Tiredly, you gazed up to your ‘boyfriend’, letting a moment of silence occupy the time it took to get over the small wave of nausea, “This is… embarrassing.” You chuckled softly, letting your fingers fall onto your neck, “I uh… never dated someone before. I have a date set up and got so anxious I almost canceled three times. I really want to put myself out there though and be more comfortable.“
  “Is that why you were so red?! I thought I was meeting a cherry when I saw you! All like –“ His hands flew to his cheeks in a damn near perfect imitation of you and your voice, “-i-i-it’s n-n-ot m-my-“ before he could stutter the rest out, you interrupted with a loud and embarrassed groan. His laugh hissed passed teeth, “It was cute! You’re adorable, ya know?” The words slipped out so naturally and with such warmth that you wondered where the act was put down and where it was picked back up.
  “As I was saying,” you jested with a light hearted eye roll, “My friend was really worried about me. I mean, it’s not often you’re a date-virgin in your twenties.”
  Hinata pursed his lips, thinking about it, “Ya know, maybe it is weird - ” You felt your heart stop and your comfort crack just slightly. You probably would have laughed had it not been for the wave of heat then ice that swept over you, “- that someone as… as…” His lips pursed as he tried to find a word. Your anxiety built with each delayed second. In a grand gesture, his arms swang back, “WH’BAM as you never got asked out before!” Despite your death grip on him, the ginger still managed to hop on cue, “’sides! You got a pretty good friend looking after you!”
  “Heh,” You laughed, “Guess you’re right, but wh’bam?”
  “It just makes sense!” He slapped your hand a few times with the soft palm of his, “Okay okay! Now, we’re going to that one!” A finger pointed to a fancy black double door. 
  “Hinata I-“ You began to protest, feeling your palms dampen and your stomach curdle. 
  “Don’t worry about price! I got it!” He tugged at your arm.
  “N-no, We need to-“
  “You’ve been having such a good time! We can do one more!”
  “Just come over h-here-“
  “This one has the best cake from what I read! It’s not too expensiiiiiiive.”
  The end of his sentence tumbled out of his mouth like the night’s worth of cake and frosting tumbled out of your gut. Directly onto the ground. And on the expensive nude heels your friend leant you. And on Hinata’s own pricy looking sneakers.
  There was a moment of silence as you lit the coffin of your pride and watched it sail away into the ocean. (Goodbye sweet trait, it was nice while it lasted. Rest in Pieces.)
  Hinata blinked. The event registered in his squirrel brain like a dial up modem. She just threw up. It’s on my shoe. It’s on her shoe. OH NO I MADE HER THROW UP! Red alerts blared as he whipped his head around, making the biggest display of ‘nothing to see here’ that could’ve been humanly possible. All too easily, he slid an arm under your knees and scurried around for a place to sit. It took about ten minutes for him to find a bench on an empty walkway. He sat you down and patted your head with long, sweet strokes. Each pat, while good natured, went unnoticed as your intestines tried to murder you in cold blood.
  Hinata sprinted for the convenience store and bought the first couple of antacids he could find, along with some anti-nausea medication and water. A small bit of sweat broke out along his brow as he dashed back to you. Agile as a leaf in the wind, he squatted right in front of you, hurriedly dumped everything out of the double-bagged plastic bags to give to you. He stuttered out his menu of medications and you down some of them with water.
  “Hey, heeey,” his gentle voice cooed to you, both hands rubbing your arms in soothing motions (a little roughly, but he’s trying), “It’s okay, you’re okay, you don’t need to cry!” You waved a hand, lips parted as you waited for another wave to hit which never came. You thought he’d make fun of you, laugh in your face about how pathetic this was, but it never came. For some reason that made you even more emotional. He was just a rental boyfriend. He didn’t need to deal with this. Instead of quitting then and there, Hinata took a seat right next to you and pulled you to his chest. Your back flinched reflexively as a calloused hand rubbed calming circles along it. He started talking about a time he was at a volleyball game and had the nervous-shits so bad he nearly had to sit out.
  “That’s… disgusting,” The words came out as a half-laugh, half-cry. You wiped your eyes, ignoring the makeup now dripping down your face from sweat and tears.
  “You’re telling me! Tanaka called me ‘little-shits’ for two months after that!” His laugh was contagious, spreading warmth through your fingertips and toes. It was rare to meet someone who had such a natural talent to make you feel so wholly accepted.
  After about 10 minutes, the medication began to fully settle your stomach. The bag was tossed into a stray trash can. Hinata had barely even realized that his chin was perched on the crown of your head as he talked about other embarrassing stories (including the time he got pegged in the nuts during training camp). The warmth of you in his hold simply belonged and he didn’t want to let go just yet.
  “Thank you,” you peered up at him with eyes so pretty and a smile so kind he wanted to kiss it then and there.
  “For what?” His head tilted again. If he were a puppy, his ears would flop with each tilt.
  “Being so sweet to me for my first trial date. Even if it’s your job, you really went above and beyond. And uh…you know-” You kicked your shoe to his.
  The athlete ruffled his hair, feeling a blush creep to his cheeks and ears at the thought of being your first date, “Don’t need to thank me for it! I had a blast! You’re pretty warm too!”
  “Thanks?” You sputtered a small laugh before checking your phone and the time. It was nearly up. As per request, a text of your location was sent to the friend who started it all.
  For a while, you rested in Hinata’s hold, savoring the rich batter of comfort and calm it baked you in. He chattered on about this and that, exchanging a remark here and there when you poked fun. 
Once you pulled away from him, he couldn’t help but miss the feel of your mold on the palm of his hand like a volleyball right at the precipice – right in his reach. You checked your violently buzzing phone, confirming the spot where you were sitting to your friend. 
“Who was that?” Hinata asked, a boyish hint of pouting sad laced underneath his natural curiosity.
“My friend,” you answered, popping another antacid in your mouth, “our time is up, so she’ll be here soon.”
 Those words were a bitter sound, one that reminded Hinata that this wasn’t real. This was a bet that he wanted to win. One that he secretly cursed. In all reality, he wanted to have fun and when he saw that you booked him, he didn’t know what to think. Dating wasn’t really his thing. He rarely had time to when it came to practice and had it not been for the bet, he probably wouldn’t have sought someone out at all, let alone someone as out of his league as you.
  The headlights of your friend's car came into view. Just as you went to take a step forward, a strong hand circled around your wrist. In a swift movement, you turned to look at the culprit. 
  “Just make sure to rent me again if you have some time, yeah?” Hinata’s smile held a hint of something you couldn’t identify. 
 Nevertheless, you returned the sentiment, “Of course!”
You parted with a long hug.
As the car pulled away, Hinata flicked through his phone. Once the dates were done, each point of contact would be deleted automatically. A reasonable company policy that felt like a sour punch to the gut.. A small twinge of sadness came over him, but he knew that if it was meant to be, you’d find your way to each other again. In the mean time…
   𝚆𝚎𝚕𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚁𝙴𝙽𝚃-𝙰-𝙱𝙾𝚈𝙵𝚁𝙸𝙴𝙽𝙳 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎.... 𝟷 𝙽𝚎𝚠 𝙱𝚘𝚘𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐!
  He was going to kick Atsumu’s pancake ass!
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 “Sooooo~ How was the ‘date’? Looks like you two got along!” Your friend’s voice rang as she shimmied in her seat in excitement, brows wiggling in expectation.
  “Oh shut it!” You cried in false annoyance, “I threw up, can you believe that?!” Dramatically, she gasped, listening as you recounted the events of the boy who was the sun itself. Finalizing your long winded tale of cake-filled adventure, that same warmth spread across your chest, lapping small butterfly wings at your stomach, “I had a good time. I… definitely feel more comfortable with the idea of putting myself out there now.”
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Introduction | Navigation
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obithoes · 4 years
Note
SASUKE CHEATING ON SAKURA OR NARUTO CHEATING ON HINATA PLEASE 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼 (I don’t condone cheating irl, by the way), and maybe catching feelings after a while 🙊 I just think that these two boiis have such dry love lives okay!!! they both deserve someone better 🙈🙃
unfinished business: naruto uzumaki
warnings: smut, unprotected sex, past lovers
authors note: i do not condone cheating either, however i do agree that they have some dull love lives.
word count: 1471
It felt too natural to ever be considered wrong. Your body pressed against his, labored breathing filling the large office; whimpers leaving your lips that he had to stifle with his hand. It was late at night, way past the time Naruto said he would be home. He knows he’ll use the same the excuses as always: there was too much paperwork, he lost track of the time, he nodded off.
Naruto couldn’t help himself — the hokages personal assistant. The minute he laid eyes on you he knew this was a mistake, and yet he couldn’t bring himself to release you from the position. Shikamaru was down his throat enough as it is — he wasn’t getting through the paper work fast enough so help was needed. If he knew Shikamaru would recruit you, his old fling that no know was aware of, he would’ve denied the need for help immediately.
He remembers the day you walked into his office, smile bright as always and alluring. You were well liked among the village; it was hard for people to dislike you, you were just one of those people. The air left his throat when you walked through the door, there was no hostility between you two — it was more like things were left unfinished.
Throughout the years you two spent part, Naruto built a beautiful family with a wife he loved; Hinata Hyuga. The ever dotting housewife, although he couldn’t help but feel like something was missing. Their relationship lacked passion. As time past he felt that their marriage was just a duty they were fulfilling. The last time they were intimate was years ago when conceiving Himawari.
Naruto was reluctant on having you as his assistant. Seeing you again brought up old feelings, that he needed to bury once again. He thought about how much earlier he would able to return home, how much more time he would be able to spend with his family; increasing the strength of their bond. He agreed solely for these reasons. Things were running smoothly up until the three month mark of you working for him.
The sun had already set, yawns fleeing Naruto every other minute. His shoulders were tense and his back ached from sitting in his chair all day. You were seated on the opposite side of him, zooming through your pile of paper work. Taking a break, Naruto watched you — you were more beautiful than he could remember. Adulthood treated you right in all the right ways, aging you like fine wine; he couldn’t help but appreciate it.
Realizing what he was doing Naruto shook away the thoughts — you have a wife and two children at home what are you doing, he thought to himself. Noticing his discomfort you averted your eyes from your paperwork his agitated figure. “Is something wrong?” He took note of the concern in your tone and gave you awkward smile. “I’m fine it’s nothing really” Not believing him for a second you raised your eyebrow at him.
Lifting his arm up, Naruto reached it behind his head, scratching his neck . “Seriously I’m fine my back just hurts” At this you raised from your seat, circling around him. Naruto choked up realizing you were approaching him. “What - What are you doing?”
Giving him an reassuring smile you placed your hands on his shoulders. “Relax I’m just helping relive some tension” Nodding Naruto turned forward, slumping his shoulders. Although you two barely kept in contact Naruto still saw you as a friend, so there was no harm in you giving him a back rub. After 15 minutes of silence you spoke up. “You know Naruto I really missed you, I forgot how nice it was to be in your company” your tone was nothing but light, but it felt heavy.
Turning around Naruto stood up and faced you, placing on hand on your shoulder, a bashful look took over his features. “I want to apologize for not keeping in contact. It’s just...” You didn’t need him to continue, you understood what he meant. You and Naruto used to be — what you could call friends with benefits. From your knowledge no one knew about the situation between the two of you.
When Naruto wanted to take it to the next level, you refused; you didn’t want to be in a relationship. You were scared, thoughts of him eventually leaving you for someone better shook you to the core.
After arguing about it for hours you came to a mutual understanding. Never voicing your true reason, Naruto accepted the fact you didn’t want to further your relationship, it crushed him — he wasn’t the only one. The two of you remained friends for a short time before slowly drifting apart, once he started dating his now wife.
So yes, you understood why it was difficult for him to keep in touch with you. After realizing his hand had been on your shoulder for too long Naruto went to remove it. Going against his brain and following his heart he instead slid it down your arm taking hold of your hand and pulling you into. Catching you off guard you stumbled into his chest. The air in your lungs was knocked out the moment you met his gaze.
“Naruto, we - we shouldn’t do this” Pushing a misplaced strand of your hair back behind your ear he nodded. “Yeah you’re right”
Instead of removing yourself, you found comfort in arms; oh how you missed this. Cupping your cheek Naruto pulled you into a longing kiss. His lips were slightly chapped, yet so soft. Pulling back to gawk at your reaction, Naruto was quckily pulled back in to a needy kiss; tongues overlapping and teeth clashing.
Pushing you against his desk, you blindly reached behind you swatting the piles of paper away; scattering them across the floor. Without breaking the kiss Naruto lifted you on his desk. Heavy panting filled the room as both of you shedded articles of clothing off of each other.
The entirety of night was packed with hot needy sex. He fucked you on his desk twice, holding you close to his chest before hauling you up against the window in his office and taking you there. After recovering from the mind blowing orgasms, soft kisses where exchanged along with promises of keeping this a secret.
Six months later he had you in a position you were all to familiar with. Spread out on the top of desk, cum smeared across the scattered paper work covering his desk, as he plowed into you. His eyes were half-lidded gazing down at where you to were connected. Your legs secured around his waist pulling him in with each thrust.
The whimpers that you couldn’t hold back left your mouth at an alarming rate. Removing a hand from your hips Naruto stuffed three fingers in your mouth in an attempt to silence you. Taking advantage of this you closed your mouth around his fingers, circling your tongue around them, coating them with your saliva.
Pushing his fingers further down, Naurto let out a low groan and picked up his pace, thrusting sloppily into you. You knew he was close, you could feel it in his movements. Removing his fingers from your mouth Naruto wiped them across your lips, dragging them down, leaving a trail of spit across your chest.
“You’re so beautiful” his voice came out as a raw whisper in the air, you’re just too pretty like this; so vulnerable and accepting. The desk creaked underneath you, pulling you closer to the edge, Naruto started fucking you with great force. Just as a moan almost roared from your throat he silenced it with a kiss. Your back arched up dramatically as your orgasm wrecked through your body.
After working you through your orgasm Naruto pulled out and released on your lower belly. Before he could pull away your arms wrapped around his neck pulling him in for another kiss. “I love you” the eight letters left your mouth in a rushed whisper; a secret you could no longer contain. You meant it wholeheartedly “I love you Naruto, I never stopped” Tears fell from your eyes at your sudden confession, one you wish you would’ve said sooner.
Turning away from you Naruto rested his head against your chest. This was wrong, he was married — but it felt so right. Naruto felt beatific here with you and it pained him. The women he longed for — for so long, finally admitting what she was too scared to do years ago.
Naruto didn’t notice he was crying until he get your hands cupped his face, wiping his tears away. He needed this, he loved his family but he needed to be with you. “I love you too”
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hdawg1995 · 3 years
Text
yall i'm super bored and 13 year old me is screeching about Scalla so i'm going to screech about Scalla.
Scalla was all into the hunter's paradise bounties and crafting of gear. for a very long time she was a ninja with a rainbow shell on her back. It was purply because she made it herself and really really liked the fact that she made A Thing. this is kinda why when Tomix taught her how to soul weave she really got into it. The butterflies she makes during one of the attacks she would always try and make real and last longer than just that attack. Scalla likes making things and working with her hands but doesn't have a true outlet for it.
Because of her status in the ninja clans of Shadow of the Wind village when ever she ended up battling ninjas I would pretend the whole time she is scolding them on bad form and how she shouldn't have been able to even see them coming and "oooooh when i see Thyton again you're GROUNDED!" so lore wise Scalla uses fights with ninjas as impromptu spars. 100% walked into a room of ninja one time and blew their cover by yelling "POP QUIZ!". Because she isn't part of any clan though blood or family line she was "adopted" into various clans as a mentor after the events of the wind orb saga.
speaking of wind orb she never got the pirate armor because she didn't want to betray the ninjas or Rhubarb's friendship- she felt training as a pirate would go against the bond she made with Shadow of the Wind village and make Rhubarb think she was lying about being a high ranking ninja who just wanted the rivalry to end. Scalla's morals are built on trust and once she has it she doesn't want to risk it.
The events of energy orb were particularly hard for Scalla cause she didn't have a water weapon. She developed a small distaste for machines, but this went away after she trained technomancer, but it made her dislike popsprocket even more since the technomancer armor shows off her scar covered shoulders. As much as she loves the gnomes she wouldn't willingly visit.
water orb messed her up and might have been the seed that would eventually grow into her current Chaos self. I've mentioned somewhere that Scalla is basically sentient magic stuff that is super sensitive to it's environment and Scalla's Chaos is her "immune system" responding to stress and thats still true but after doing a big thunk and looking at notes i think because of how sensitive Scalla is to her environment the insanity she experienced in water orb exposed her to entropy, and then the events of earth orb exposed her *again*, and as the age old saying goes- "Third times the charm"- when Scalla broke out of the ice and experienced the shock of everyone being older than her, the world doing a 180 with magic being bad, and then Artix being married (because i think it would be kinda rude to IRL Artix's wife if i just hand waved their wedding in AQW) exposed her to entropy once again.
Fire orb also messed Scalla up but not mentally. Emotionally however Drakonnan got to her and she wished so badly that she could have done something. She logically knew she couldn't, shes just one person, but her heart breaks when she thinks about him and when he shows up in book 2 she was glad to see him because he was being a hero in a way Scalla couldn't. When he isn't at his smithy in book 3 feral Chaos Scalla all but turned into a bloodhound to try and find him and was only stopped by the physical fact that she could not look for him.
So Scalla was Warrior, Ninja, Soulweaver, riftwalker, dragonlord. her Dragonlord armor used to be the basic color custom one and then in book 3 when her chaos developed and actually started to manifest, the only visual que i had was the chaos edge sword and warrior of chaos helm, but when DL got full customization the Feral armor was PERFECT. When Warlic tried to remove Scalla's chaos he learned its the result of Scalla's mind and body reacting to stress and trauma, so to help her gain better control (without having to spend hours as a riftwalker killing anything that moves just to tire herself out) he just. Released the chaos. The holes on the chest are the result of Scalla's Chaos being released all at once by force. It could be compared to opening a bottle of shaken up soda pop- the riftwalker rampage was like opening the soda slowly, letting the carbon out slowly and steadily while also having enough control to stop it from over flowing. meanwhile Warlic going "Scalla i am going to release your Chaos." is just opening the bottle and letting the soda go all over the place. Although releasing her Chaos wasn't fun for anyone involved it meant there was less "soda pop" in her mind as apposed to the first method.
Some things give Scalla enough strength to be present- interacting with old friends, talking with Draco, using riftwalker and soulweaver- but there are lots of things that just are Too Much for her now -going to ravenloss after void ship, going to falcon reach inn after calamity, interacting with jaania, going to amithyville- but because her chaos has been lessened she can at least keep her head on straight so to speak. I think this means that, hella unfortuanlly, Scalla didn't have much or any control over her Chaos until The Thrones quest line (unless theres a time where we meet warlic earlier than that).
Scalla doesn't like showing her face due to just being used to keeping it hidden as a ninja. The chaos warrior helmet having a visor that lets her show her face originally meant she could have the best of both worlds- never revealing her face to her enemies, but still being able to smile and make eye contact with her friends. Now the helm is an indicator to just how in control Scalla is- Visor help her chaos has 0 sway over her. Visor down the chaos is most likely in control.
Draco does not make a good emotional support animal but for some reason the miniphage is great at that job.
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snarkwrites · 4 years
Text
03 | gangsta, sweetpea
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Notes:
Honestly, I do not know where I got the idea for this chapter beyond just.. Wanting to throw Sweetpea and Alyssa together in situations to see how it worked. I think it was cute? Probably not logical IRL, but this is fanfic. And some people just can’t deal with the smell of formaldehyde or dissections. Facts because I am one.. I think I might have gone a little overdramatic with some areas in how it played out, but I just decided to lean into it because it made things interesting.
Annnyway. another chapter absolutely noone asked for but I totally needed to write, apparently. Lmaooo.
Summary:
Opposites attract. But when they can’t fight that attraction any longer, will there be a comforting warmth, an inferno from the sparks, or a messy explosion?
Pairing:
Sweetpea x Andrews!OFC, Alyssa.
Warnings:
Angst. Slow burn. Eventual filth. Typical teenage drama. Embarassing situations. Boyfriends behaving like oblivious idiots. Pining. Language. Fighting / Violence. Going to go on a limb and say that this is kind of non canon compliant.
As far as this chapter goes.. The class did a dissection. But given the nature, I went as vague as possible in describing it. There’s mention of fainting and the fact that Alyssa wants to puke at one point, but beyond that, there’s really not much.
Other Parts:
[ one - two - soundtrack ] 
Other Stuff:
[ faq - tag list doc ] 
Tagging:
@brithedemonspawn​ 
- if you wanna be tagged in this fic or in my riverdale writing tell me. I’ll happily add you to my tag list thing.
                                         THREE.
I wasn’t expecting Toni to actually spare me a passing glance the next day, let alone look up from reapplying my makeup to find her standing behind me when I turned around after shutting my locker.
Reggie’s throat cleared and I felt him tense up almost immediately. I nudged him in the side, shaking my head “No” at him before he even got a chance to start.
But he went and did it anyway.
“What do you want?” Reggie spoke before I could.
I couldn’t resist the smirk that came when Toni flicked her eyes over him dismissively before deadpanning, “ I came to talk to Cherry. Not you. Pound sand.”
Reggie eyed me.
“I’ll catch up to you, Reg.”
He refused to budge and I felt my jaw clenching.
“I’m not leavin you by yourself. Not after what happened with the Ghoulie in the hall yesterday.” Reggie folded his arms over his chest. Speaking up with a calm smirk. “Whatever you gotta say to princess, you can say to me too.”
Toni studied him, unimpressed. “Where was this energy when a Serpent handled that Ghoulie you speak of, hm? Now you wanna play the protective boyfriend?”
I tensed a little, shooting her a pleading glance. She eyed me a second or two but luckily, she let the issue drop.
We started to walk towards the direction of our classrooms, talking about music and bands we’d seen live, basically continuing our conversation from the afternoon before when we’d been lounging on the bank down by the quarry.
“Hey, we’re gonna go hang out by the quarry this afternoon if you wanna come with again.” Toni slipped it in just as we got to the door of Biology. Reggie tensed even more, his gaze settling on me as if to ask what she meant by again.
I honestly didn’t give it a second thought, smiling and nodding, a lazy shrug. “Yeah. I mean the Vixens aren’t practicing and pretty much done all the stuff around my dad’s. Hey, remind me around lunch and I’ll go by my dad’s after school and grab that mix tape.”
“Definitely. I’ll see you later.” Toni smiled at me and gave Reggie a dismissive eye roll and as she walked away, Reggie spoke up. Calm and firm.
“Absolutely not. Are you out of your mind, babe? They’re in a gang. Is that where you were when you blew off school and practice yesterday afternoon? I thought you were at home. That prick Sweetpea wasn’t with you… Right?”
Reggie looked far less cocky when his eyes met mine. Almost as if he felt threatened by my choice to branch out. Stop losing myself in this person I was becoming. I’d talked to Archie the night before and Archie had basically told me that he’d been able to tell something was bothering me for weeks now, since even before Reggie and I became a thing. He thought I was homesick.
I’d explained to him how I’d been feeling out of place. Like an imposter because everyone in Riverdale either only knew the me I’d been presenting since I moved back, or remembered me as his younger sister only and that it bugged me because I wasn’t the same person they remembered or were expecting.
He basically told me that as long as being myself didn’t mean sneaking off to frat parties and older boyfriends or anything dangerous, if it made me happier, I should try just being myself more. He seemed to think that I might be surprised by how people reacted to it and sadly, from the looks of it, my own boyfriend was not going to be one of those who welcomed any sign of change.
,, because when you’re truly being yourself, you know he’d never be able to control you, let alone begin to be able to keep up with you. The balance of power is off now and he’s insecure.” 
It worried me, more than I cared to admit.
I didn’t want anything to come between us. I didn’t want to fight with him all the time like we’d been doing lately. I just wanted to enjoy being his girlfriend.
“What if I was, huh? They’re normal. You talk like they’re all hardened criminals or something.”
“What’s this like.. A random act of charity?” Reggie eyed me, searching my face for any hint of an answer. 
,, maybe the random act of charity is the time I’ve been spending pretending to be someone I’m clearly not.” the thought came but I stopped myself from giving voice to it. I sighed and shook my head, disappointed that Reggie was having such a hard time grasping the fact that I could be friends with whoever I wanted… Not excluding Toni Topaz.
Because we’d just kind of clicked. And I actually wanted to be friends with her.
“Reggie, if you really care about me, you’ll lay off this.” I said it as patiently as I could.
“It’s because I care about you, princess, that’s exactly what I’m not gonna do. They’re dangerous. Half of ‘em have a rap sheet as long as this hallway! What if they do somethin and you happen to be out with them, huh? How are you gonna explain that you were just there and not taking part?”
“Do you have to die on this hill?” I asked, giving him a pleading look. 
The last thing I wanted right now was yet another argument with him. But the way he kept assuming he knew me like the back of his hand was starting to get exhausting. I wasn’t that same shy sweet little pushover I’d been when we were kids. I mean, I was still the same girl who hid with him in a tunnel on the playground and split a Hostess cupcake when his father came to collect him and happened to see him mess up a pass while just playing a casual game of toss the football with my brother and the other boys and started to yell and cut him down in front of everyone… I was still her, but I was also different... In so many ways.
“I’m willing to, yeah. Why’s this matter so much?” Reggie studied me intently. 
I swallowed hard and took a deep breath or two to calm myself down. “It matters because I’m not the girl you think I am, okay? You’ve had this image of me built up in your head since I moved back and I’m sorry to say it, I’m not her anymore. I’m not the quiet little kid who used to hide behind my brother or tag along with you guys to play in the park like a lost puppy.” 
“You’re not a Serpent, either, princess.” Reggie explained, a coaxing tone as he raised a hand, resting it against my cheek. “That’s one thing I like about you, okay? You were always the one to take in the strays. All I’m saying is there’s a time and a place for that and now is not the time. They don’t like us any more than we like them.”
“Don’t lump me in with the rest of you.” I glared up at him. “ As far as your earlier question as to whether this is a random act of charity, no. It’s actually not. I enjoyed talking to Toni yesterday.”
Reggie’s brows raised. “Why?”
I shrugged. “We have a lot in common.”
“Yeah, not likely.”
I took a deep breath. Trying to stay patient. Trying not to push this conversation even further into argument territory.
Because I knew that despite the way it felt, Reggie was only doing this because he cared. He didn’t really have any ill intent. He was merely being overprotective. Probably to make up for the rough time we’ve had being on the same page for nearly three weeks now.
Because I’d be lying to myself if I tried to pin all our fighting lately on the fact that Sweetpea was my Biology partner and Reggie was jealous because this started before that. I’d put it off to tension then, but maybe it was just me, starting to realize that no matter how hard I tried, things just weren’t working.
Before that thought could rear it’s ugly head again, I shoved it back down.
We walked into class and I sat down in my seat. Drumming my pencil against the desktop.
From beside me, Sweetpea spoke up. I didn’t have to be looking at him to know he was smirking when he made the remark, either. “Trouble in paradise, cherry?”
“Sweetpea, not today.” I muttered quietly, fixing my gaze intently on the open text book between us. The teacher rolled in the specimens we were supposed to dissect and my stomach rolled as the scent of formaldehyde filled the air.
I could feel my breakfast creeping back up my throat slowly. I took a deep breath.
That was probably the first way I fucked up.
As soon as we got our specimen, I grimaced. Gingerly picking up the scalpel. I could feel myself getting paler in the face by the second. Sweetpea grabbed the scalpel from me and eyed me with a brow raised. Pointing away from us. “If you’re gonna hurl, do it towards that side. Not into vomit on my leather.”
“I’m fine.”
Except, oh no. No I was not fine.
And the scent of formaldehyde was so thick in the air that I honestly felt a little dizzy…
XXX
She almost looked green.
Sweetpea shot a glance back towards the back of the classroom where Mandy and Reggie were absorbed in their conversation… More to the point, Reggie was so caught up in Mandy pouring on the dramatics that he hadn’t spared a single glance towards his actual girlfriend. The thought had Sweetpea’s jaw clenching tight. Alyssa’s hands shook as she picked up the scalpel.
“Give me that.” Sweetpea reached out, taking the scalpel. Because shaking hands and a sharp object in their grasp was never a good idea. He’d been around enough to know that if the person with the knife had a shaky hand, more often than not, things tended to get messy.
,, right and this has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that even the thought of her injured kind of makes you physically ill lately. You did move that entire fight between the team and your boys to a vacant lot because you weren’t willing to risk her rushing out to try and stop it and getting hurt by somebody...” his mind taunted him, but he shoved the thought right out of his head. And then more thoughts came.
Like a replay of the argument he’d caught the tail end of between Alyssa and Reggie as he shoved past them to take his own seat. The way she actually didn’t fold under the pressure of Reggie’s argument, but stood her ground instead. Admitting that she enjoyed talking to Toni and she wasn’t going to stop just because it made Reggie Mantle uncomfortable.
Maybe he’d written her off a little too quickly.
He made the first cut in the specimen sitting between them and he glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. Luckily he happened to, because he saw her swaying a little right as the color drained from her face completely and she started to slump just a little. He grabbed her up quickly and shoved through the aisle, pushing open the door of the classroom to step out into the hallway, completely ignoring the threat of yet another detention from their Biology teacher.
“Did you not see her about to pass out?” Sweetpea snapped as he peered back in the door of the classroom. Their teacher stepped out into the hallway, giving him a firm warning look as he pointed to the classroom and Sweetpea clenched his fist, grumbling. Lingering for a few seconds before the teacher spoke up in a crisp tone, “Inside now. Unless you enjoy a month of Saturday detention.” before turning attention back to Alyssa, trying to make sure she was alright. 
Alyssa met his gaze over the teacher’s shoulder, flashing him a weak smile, giving him a pleading look as the teacher warned him a third time to go back into class. “Sweetpea just go, I’m fine. I’ll be back inside soon.”
Sweetpea eyed her a second or two and finally stepped into the classroom, shutting the door behind him. Turning to find himself body to body with an angry Reggie Mantle. Glaring at him.
“I know you didn’t touch my girl, Serpent.”
“Would you rather me touch her or have her crack her head on the floor, dog?” Sweetpea stood taller, cracking his knuckles. Nodding to Reggie’s lab partner, who was grumbling and pouting, rolling her eyes because all the attention had been taken off her. Sweetpea stepped closer, smirking at Reggie, “Mad because you weren’t paying attention and another guy picked up your slack, asshole?”
Reggie went to shove him but the teacher’s throat cleared from behind the two, putting an end to the confrontation.
“This isn’t over, Serpent.”
“ I can do this all year, Bulldog. Just gives me the joy of kicking your ass over and over.”
“Enough you two!” the teacher yelled, silencing both males. “You two can settle whatever this is off of school grounds. In your own time. Understood?”
Sweetpea smirked, rolling his shoulders. “Gladly.” he muttered as he stormed over to his seat.
Alyssa made her way back in and over to the seat beside him, not looking at anyone in the room instead, burying herself in the text. Letting Sweetpea make the cuts as she pointed out the parts of their specimen’s anatomy they had to label and show.
XXX
“Are you okay, princess?”
“I’m fine, Reggie. For the thousandth time. I guess the smell of formaldehyde got to me. It happened at my old school once in eighth grade. I’m just embarrassed.” I answered. The scent was still stuck in my nose. It drifted through the entire hallway.
I knew I should’ve gotten my dad to write me a note so I could go and sit with the other students who’d chosen to opt out. It slipped my mind.
From across the table, Mandy spoke up. “ What was worse? That freak putting his hands on you or almost fainting in front of everybody?” with a smirk as she gazed at me.
Reggie tensed and I gave Mandy a dirty look. “Almost fainting in front of everybody. Hands down. Can we not call him a freak? He’s not in a side show. And he’s not any different than the rest of us.”
“He’s  from South Side. Of course he’s different.” Mandy looked at me as if I’d grown two additional heads. I rolled my eyes and went quiet.
Irritated by her remarks.
Irritated by her in general.
Reggie cleared his throat, taking a bite of his burger. Nodding to mine. Coaxing me to eat. I shook my head, glancing at the burger in disgust. “I’m good.”
“You need food, princess.”
“If the drama queen doesn’t want to eat, Reggie, don’t make her. She could stand to lose a few pounds anyway.”
I tensed. Under the table, my fists clenched. Since I moved back to Riverdale, Mandy’s had it in for me. And she doesn’t bother hiding it.
And I was sick of playing nice. Looking stupid when I know what she’s about.
It wouldn’t have flown in my old school, why was I letting it fly here?
Was it really worth it to just come off like a doormat? I was really questioning my logic on that front a lot lately, it seemed.
I smirked at her and bit my lip. The smirk was replaced with a smile as I spoke up. “In that case, maybe you should skip the ice cream. Since we’re talking about losing a few pounds here. Just trying to help.”
Mandy’s jaw dropped and I shrugged, going back to my cell phone to scroll my Snapchat. Checking the stories of my old friends from my school in Chicago. Responding to a few snaps they’d sent me.
“ Mandy you’re so fuckin rude.” Reggie spoke up, surprising me. I kept my gaze fixed on my phone and Mandy shrugged as if his criticism rolled right off her. “I was just trying to be helpful.”
“You were being a bitch.” Reggie grumbled, fixing his eyes on me. He leaned in and asked quietly, “You wanna get outta here?”
I eyed him, biting my lip. Something told me if I hadn’t had my little incident in the lab, Reggie wouldn’t be trying so hard right now.
,, maybe that’s not true, you don’t know that..” my mind argued.
“It’s okay. I don’t like her enough to give a shit if I’m being honest.” I muttered, making Reggie chuckle quietly and smirk at me. “That’s my girl. It’ll be okay. People are totally gonna forget by last period, you’ll see.”
“It is what it is.” I shrugged, eager for the conversation to switch topics.
XXX
Toni caught up to Alyssa in the hallway, tapping her shoulder. Alyssa turned around, smiling. For a second or two, Toni thought she’d beg off. Change her plans under pressure. She rolled her eyes at Reggie when their gazes met. “Ready to go?”
“Yeah! Just give me a second.”
Reggie’s facial expression told the tale. He was not even remotely happy with being stood up.
“Babe, you were gonna watch me practice.. Remember?” Reggie butted in, pouting at her. reaching out to pull her close to him. Alyssa hugged him and gazed up at him, biting her lip, a patient look on her face.
Toni watched their interactions with amusement. The panic was plain to see on Reggie’s face. She found herself scowling at him. The guy was a fuckboy. For the life of her, she hoped for Alyssa’s sake the whole interest in him was just a phase because guys like that only hurt people...
“Reggie, I can watch you tomorrow. It’s just one afternoon.” Alyssa held firm, surprising Toni. Maybe she hadn’t been wrong to trust her gut like Sweetpea and Fangs insisted she was going to be proven to be.
After a whispered exchange of heated words, Alyssa jogged over, grumbling and rolling her eyes at the whole thing. Smiling at her. “Hey, if you want, we can stop by my dad’s together. Oh and the construction site. I usually take him a snack when  I get in.”
“Aww, that’s cute.” Toni gave her a gentle but teasing smile, nodding. “Let’s go.”
They took off, falling back into conversation. Losing track of everything else.
After stopping by Alyssa’s to pick up the food for her dad and the mix tape she’d promised to lend Toni, they found themselves wandering around. Flopping on the grass at the park, watching the clouds roll overhead.
“ What made you join the Vixens anyway?”
“Cheryl strongarmed me into it. They needed a gymnast. I used to hate the cheerleaders at my old school.”
“ You’re the only halfway cool Vixen I’ve met so far.” Toni admitted, shrugging.
Alyssa stood, holding out her hand. Pulling Toni off the grass. “Let’s do something.”
“What?”
“I don’t know. What is there to actually do in Riverdale if we’re being honest?” Alyssa joked, making them share a laugh.
“Oh.. Oh.. no, you’d probably hate that idea.”
“No, what?”
“There’s a Mortal Kombat machine in the Wyrm…”
“Pretty sure Fangs and Sweetpea would be thrilled about me showing up there.” Alyssa mulled it over before smirking a little. “Okay, let’s go. It beats absolutely not shit to do here.”
“Don’t let them get to you. They’ll be assholes until they warm up to you.”
“Sweetpea confuses me? Like.. I know he’s being a jerk over half the time, then he does something like he did in Biology this morning and I don’t know what to think.. Anyway, I need to just not worry about it either way.” Alyssa tried to dismiss it, but Toni smirked to herself.
Determined not to just let her dismiss it.
Because any idiot could see what was going on.
Or she could, at least.
“No, what do you mean?”
“You know what I mean… Sometimes I feel like.. I don’t know… Like he’s trying too hard to be an asshole?”
“Oh no, he’s an asshole. Mega grouch. But you’re right. He does have his moments.” Toni kept things vague enough that she wasn’t putting her best friend Pea in any compromising positions, but she hoped that she said enough to get Alyssa really thinking.
It wasn’t like they were close enough friends just yet that Toni could go and tell her that she just needed to open her eyes. Pick a better boyfriend, because Reggie Mantle only liked the idea of her. Or the her that he’d known years ago from what she’d been hearing around school.
,, not to mention there’s the whole conversation you happened to overhear about there being a bet between Reggie and some Chuck asshole about getting in her pants..” the thought came but Toni shoved it down. Because how did you go about telling someone something like that?
Especially when you really didn’t know them well at all.
She didn’t want to lose a friend she was only just getting to know yet. She just needed to come up with a way to break it to Alyssa so that Alyssa understood. And wasn’t hurt or embarrassed or angry. So that Alyssa believed her.
Because she was disgusted with the fact that the guy had done that in the first place. The fact that she’d had the misfortune of overhearing only made things worse...
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