#i can name two songs from Dua Lipa and none of these others

[roydeezed]

The sequel to Dua Lipa:

Araki mentioning contemporary artists will never not be hilarious to me

[idontblushsrry]

Levitating|| Shunsui Kyoraku

Pairing: Shunsui x GN Reader

WC: 1,555

A/N: This started as a writing exercise so that I could get back into the flow of writing again but I like it so I'm posting it. Sorry I've been MIA for like 2 years, I'll be posting on again/off again for a while. Also I changed some of the lyrics of the song, Dua Lipa stans pls don't come for me.

Warnings: None, some swearing?, there's talk of marriage because I feel like the Soul Society doesn't really have "dating"

Shunsui + Levitating

I believe that you're for me, I feel it in our energy // I see us written in the stars

Shunsui knew that he was an old man. It was a notion he never attempted to disavow himself of, finding it to be a pointless endeavour; Besides, he was proud of his age.

With age, comes wisdom, one that he has refined enough to know not to deny the fluttering of his heart whenever he so much as heard your name. For him, it was nothing to be  embarrassed about, no matters of the heart were. He would readily admit that it was a bit disorienting. One moment he’d be talking with Nanao and suddenly his breath would be stolen at the slightest hint of your perfume. 

You possessed a gift so unique, a hold over him like no other. Being in your presence somehow managed to send him back to his days in the academy, leaving him feeling like nothing more than a lovesick student. You’d set his heart alight and made it seem as though the world was slipping away every time you smiled. Your visage immediately righted any wrongs. He was sure that your laughter could cure any affliction he may be ailed with. To put it simply, Shunsui had found himself utterly enraptured by you and yet, he didn’t mind. The butterflies you’d managed to elicit from him only added to the weightless feeling he’d become stuck with since meeting you.

We can go wherever, so let's do it now or never, baby // Nothing's ever, ever too far

You hadn’t treated Shunsui any different from normal, but it didn’t take a genius to put two and two together. The usually laid-back yet sharp captain suddenly became ditzy and distracted whenever you so much as glanced at him. He was quite obvious, and though he hadn’t quite acted upon his feelings, he’d made it clear where he stood. His schedule as head captain didn’t allow him free time at the best of moments and yet Nanao somehow found herself overencumbered trying to fit ‘Lunch with Y/N <3’ into Shunsui’s schedule.

“I don’t see why you don’t make things official with her. Everyone already knows that you two are sickeningly in love with each other”, Nanao would frequently complain.

Shunsui would always fix her with a look that would make her regret saying anything and reply, “Matters of the heart can’t be rushed.”

If you asked Nanao, it was all arbitrary bullshit. If she voiced that particular complaint however, Shunsui would “remind” her that she’d “understand when you have someone to love”.

Glitter in the sky, glitter in our eyes//Shining just the way we are

“Oh Shunsui, this is lovely.”

As you cooed over the late-night picnic that he set up, he took a moment to examine your features. The curve of your mouth, the slope of your nose, the reverent way your hair framed your face. Everything about you looked lovely as usual, bathed in moonlight however…

He’d give you anything you wanted.

When you looked at him with those eyes, endlessly rich and glittering with the light of the night sky, he couldn’t help but yearn to kiss you. Even just a gentle press against your lips, oh how he’d kiss you so lovingly. He’d hold you so gently and ask if he could have just one more, one more, one more.

Your gaze flickered down to his lips.

He ran his tongue over them and he swore your eyes grew darker.

You placed a tentative hand into his hair, nervous but sure fingers weaving their way into his tresses. He swears then and there that he has never loved his hair more (if only so that there’s more of him for you to touch).

He cups your face with his hand. You lean into his palm and smile. He feels that weightless feeling come back as he leans forward to feel that smile against his skin when--

“Oh Shunsui look! Did you know there were going to be fireworks tonight?”

He did, it’s one of the reasons he planned a date on the rooftop of his home. He wanted you to see the fireworks and he wanted to see the way your skin would look bathed in the multi-colored light. He doesn’t regret the way your face lights up, this time in awe, but he does wish the timing could’ve been a little better.

He supposes the feeling of your body pressed against his is an apt substitute.

I feel like we're forever, every time we get together//But whatever, let's get lost on Mars

It is not long after the night with the fireworks that Shunsui decides that maybe Nanao was right. He found that the temptation of you was far too much for him to bear. He’d been distracted since that night with thoughts of you, driven himself half mad wondering what could’ve been if he’d leaned in a fraction sooner.

It isn’t until he visits your office for a quick cup of tea (something that both you and Nanao have scolded him for) that he has this realization however. You tell him that you don’t have much time to chat, Seireitei Communications is running some special issue from what he can recall, but you’re happy to spend this time with him. 

As you get up, telling him he’s free to stay as long as he’d like, “Although, you really should get back to work Shunsui, you’ll stress poor Nanao out”, and leave, he feels a sinking feeling for the first time in relation to you. It all just clicks for him that he wants the feelings he has with you to last forever. He wants a lifetime of levitating, of your joy, of your glittering eyes locked onto him, he wants you for as long as you’ll have him.

He realizes that the fluttering feeling comes back at the mere thought of calling you his spouse.

As he floats back to his office (he isn’t quite sure that his feet ever touch the ground), confusing every person he passes along the way, he places an order for a ring and decides to have a talk with you after things settle down.

Later, when you drop by his office with snacks as a small pick-me-up, you ask him what’s got him so giddy. He merely replies with a look that turns heated the longer he looks at you. It softens at the adorably flustered way you mess with your hair and look away from him. You try your damnedest to avoid making eye contact with him, squirming in such a way that, if he were less of a gentleman he’d pull you close and feel how affected one look made you.

As it stands, he decides he can wait a little longer.

‘You want me, I want you, baby’

After mulling it over, he decides he wants the proposal to be a private affair. The entirety of the Sereitei may know of your feelings for each other but that didn’t mean they needed to see this. He wanted to keep the way that your face-- nightsky eyes glimmering-- would light up to himself. He never considered himself to be a selfish man but he supposed when it came to you, everything became unexpected.

He still remembers the way his stomach, twisted in knots, became miraculously clear when you smiled. He asked if marriage was what you wanted, if it was ok to marry you. All the more reason to keep the proposal private, it’s much harder to reject a public suit from the captain of the 13 Court Guard Squads (you’d still reject him if you wanted regardless, another reason he was nervous).

You looked at him, trying to piece together what he was asking before deciding on your answer. “I’d love to marry you if that’s what you’re asking me Shunsui.” Somehow, your smile grew even larger, he wasn’t sure what his face looked like but he’s sure his grin matched yours.

Just thinking back to that day makes this moment all the more important. In the weeks following that conversation, you’d joked that you’d be eagerly awaiting his next move. He’d welcomed the challenge, stupidly. Now he was standing here fretting over if the grass was green enough, what if you suddenly became allergic to his shampoo-- He hoped that you wouldn’t notice the clamminess of his hands.

Another power that you found yourself ordained with, making the great Head Captain nervous. He could sense your spiritual pressure before you, which made him snap out of ‘panic mode’ into ‘focused commander mode’.

When he saw you, dressed up beautifully, jewels in your braided hair. He relaxed incrementally, this wasn’t a battle to be won, you were the one he loved. He was proposing, all he had to do was speak from the heart (easy) and hope you’d accept (he was sure you would but he was nonsensical at the best of times).

He saw recognition in your eyes, like a loose thread that has finally been tucked back into place. Your eyes tear up as he moves to ask you the question that has plagued his mind for months.

You nearly burst into tears, nodding happily and sealing your engagement with a kiss.

I'm levitating

[kamarixchopra]

" Baby, you can find me under the lights, diamonds under my eyes. Turn the rhythm up, don't you wanna just, come along for the ride? "

⌜  tyla  ,  22  ,  cis woman  ,  she/her ⌟  ╱    is  that  DANCE THE NIGHT  by DUA LIPA,  i  hear  playing?  oh  that  has  to  mean  KAMARI CHOPRA  ,  is  about  to  clock  in. i  hear  they're  a  SOPHOMORE  who's  been  away  studying  SPORTS MEDICINE  at   USC. it  sure  is  a  shame  they've  grown  up  to  be  rather  PASSIONATE  and  CALCULATED. word  on  the  strip  is  that  they're  back  home  for  the  summer  and  working  as  a  FRONT DESK RECEPTIONIST  at  THE FITNESS FACTORY,  to  earn  some  extra  cash,  in  order  to  buy  a new car  but  don't  tell  them  i  told  you  that  !  

►GENERAL INFORMATION

FULL NAME: Kamari Mali Chopra NICKNAME(S): Kam, Ari, Amari LABEL: The Academic Athlete AGE: 22 DATE OF BIRTH: February 5, 2002 ZODIAC: Aquarius Sun, Aries Rising, Capricorn Moon GENDER & PRONOUNS: Female; She/Her NATIONALITY: South African HERITAGE: Indian, Zulu, Mauritian, Irish SPOKEN LANGUAGE(S): English, Russian (very little) OCCUPATION: Dancer/Dance Instructor || Front Desk Receptionist at The Fitness Factory RELIGION: Christian (raised but now distanced) SEXUALITY & ROMANCE: Bisexual; Biromantic

► APPEARANCE

FACE CLAIM: Tyla HEIGHT: 5'3" WEIGHT: 121 lbs. DOMINANT HAND: Right HAIR COLOR: Black EYE COLOR: Brown SCARS: Little ones all over body due to wear and tear from sports TATTOOS: None.

►PERSONALITY

POSITIVE TRAITS: Charismatic, Athletic, Sociable, Passionate, Humorous, Driven, Open-Minded, Reliable, Thoughtful. NEGATIVE TRAITS: Fiery, Confrontational, Calculated, Flighty, Self-Critical, Impulsive, Impatient. LIKES: Early morning runs, holidays, the first fall of snow, the smell of a new pair of sneakers, thrifting, nailing a new routine on the first try, basketball, soccer, hockey, the cheering of a crowd, the adrenaline rush of a rollercoaster drop, glitter on one's eyes, funky hairstyles, out-of-the-box themes and ideas. DISLIKES: Being laughed at, losing a competition, not being able to get someone to crack a smile, when people start boo-ing others, when people try to peacock too hard, corny pickup lines, online dating.

►MENTALITY

PHOBIAS: N/A DISORDERS: N/A ALLERGIES: Seasonal (Pollen), Bees

►BACKGROUND

HOMETOWN: Johannesburg, South Africa CURRENT RESIDENCE: Los Angeles, CA/ Denver, CO EDUCATION LEVEL: BA in Sports Medicine from USC FAMILIAL CONNECTIONS: - Simone Chopra - 44, Mother, In Contact - Sherwin Chopra - 40, Father, In Contact

►FAVORITES

FOOD: Pizza DRINK: Sex on the Beach MOVIE: Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen TV SHOW: Perfect Match, Too Hot to Handle BAND: Madonna, Dua Lipa, ABBA SONG: Levitating - Dua Lipa

► EXTRA INFORMATION

JUNG TYPE: ENTP ENNEAGRAM: The Enchanter (3w2) TEMPERAMENT: Sanguine MORAL ALIGNMENT: Neutral SIN: Pride VIRTUE: Drive ELEMENT: Fire CHARACTER PLAYLIST

"When the night's here, I don't do tears. Baby, no chance."

► BIOGRAPHY

Kamari was born in Johannesburg, South Africa, to two over-the-moon parents. Though she only spent her younger years in South Africa, her hometown still holds some of the best memories of her life. From dancing around with her mother in the kitchen, to singing with her father in a hammock. Her parents moved to Denver, CO, due to her father's job in the tech industry. He worked so hard to go back to school in order to provide once Kamari was an announced pregnancy. Little did he know that would uproot his family to America. Though, Kamari was excited as the 5 year old she was, that she was going on a plane and starting anew. Kamari easily rooted in Denver. Her charisma made her lots of friends, and her intellect made her somewhat of a teacher's pet. She was in Honor Society once she hit high school, and her dating life was overtly active. Even with her mother's worry, it was her father telling her mother to let her live her life how she wanted. Dance was all her idea. She excelled in any and every type of dance class she was enrolled in, and she always wanted to learn more. From belly dancing to tap classes, Kamari was absorbing it all like a sponge. It was to the point that she was put into competitive dance courses and competed for all of her high school years. She even went on to tour with a couple pop stars before going off to college. When granted a full ride scholarship to USC, Kamari was ecstatic. Her parents, though excited and proud, also faced some sadness with watching their young girl go off into the world without them. Kamari took up sports medicine as a major in order to appease her parents as she continues to dance on the USC dance team. Nowadays, Kamari is in Denver, CO, between semesters. She works as a dancer still - going on tour with some of the stars when offered. She also works as a dance instructor at the same place she took lessons as a kid; her side gig being that of a front desk receptionist at The Fitness Factory.

► PERSONALITY

Kamari is a party girl through and through. She's usually the life of the party, as well; Always able to peel people from the walls and getting everyone in high spirits with dancing. Kamari is a winner. She's so used to picking up various sports and skills and just being good at it. She's not used to losing, and that might be a downfall but to Kamari, it keeps her in tip-top shape. You can usually find her with a couple people around her desk; Gregarious to a fault and also a major flirt, Kamari attracts people to her like a magnet. She tends to lead people on both in a romantic sense, but also in a friend sense. Everyone thinks they're Kamari's best friend, but little do they know that they aren't. But, if you genuinely are one of her close friends, Kamari is reliable and a great person to go to when one's stuck in a rut. Kamari is basically FUN personified, okay? Okay.

► PLOTS

They're just girls, breaking hearts: Gimmie Kamari's girl group of friends! They're always out together and they gossip and shop together. Definitely a group that turns heads wherever they show up. Fun and wild vibes, all around! - OPEN (x3)

Jealousy, jealousy: Someone who is Kamari's frenemy who also is jealous of her and vice versa. These two attempt to one-up one another and their friendship is basically running on competition. - OPEN

Girls just wanna have fun: These are the friends who reach out to Kamari when they're in a funk and need to let their hair down. Definitely a balancing act of a friendship. They help to ground Kamari when she gets to be too much. - OPEN (x2)

My favorite bra lives in your dresser: Kamari is head over heels for this person, but they claim it's just casual. Kamari is starting to get frustrated and this person can tell. She's trying to be the cool girl in this situation, but she's ready to raise hell and confront them. - OPEN

Getcha' head in the game: This is someone who tags along with Kamari to games. They also tend to play basketball or even kick a soccer ball around with her. Very wholesome vibes of enjoying one another's company and friendly competition. - OPEN

My kink is watching you ruin your life: Exes on bad terms. We can talk about the specifics, but Kamari genuinely hates this ex's guts. It's almost a screaming match every time they cross paths. - OPEN

[airbrushfather]

50 and 76 ❕

asks from this post!! thank you c!!

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

oh boy i've been waiting for an opportunity to publicise this story because it's so insane. me and my friend go for breakfast every friday and one week i had no plans afterwards so we were just hanging out in town for a bit, and we passed the market which was at that time only two stalls: one selling flowers, and one selling fish. now, we live in a very small town next to several other very small towns, so if you frequent this market you know the people who run each stall. usually, it's two men who run the fish stall, but on this day, it was two women. my friend (t) very loudly and very happily says "oh!! fish women!". the women smile. i comment about how this seems like a strange word for mermaid and t politely informs me (in the making-up-bullshit way you do to your friends) that the fish women is actually a group of activists. naturally, i prod her on this. what are they campaining for? i don't know, says t, we are just women for fish. oh, not fish for women? no. women for fish. has someone... hurt the fish? yes, says t, the government. oh? i say, tell me more. we get to the bus stop. t sits on the curb with me and tells me about the women for fish movement, which as it turns out, is something they're doing because the british government is putting bleach in the water in the seaside town she is from (this is not true, but sometimes when you're friends with people like i'm friends with, you begin method acting. i think it's good training for my hopeful upcoming scare acting gig.) i'm prodding about this town and it turns out that everyone who lives there is either a woman, or married to a woman. i think this is a little unfair on gay men or single people or widowers. t shrugs and says, feminism. as it transpires, as we get on the bus and later go to t's house, none of the women can read or write and the seaside town (whose name changed every time someone said it, but was always somewhere close to fishton-upon-ribblesley) has no internet, no cars, and no healthcare. i (naturally) assume the character of the first tourist this town has had for years and am curious to know more. my name is jemima puddleduck, and i've come here to find my long lost family. as it turns out, fishley-by-the-sea is a microstate of england, and its own independent enclave, not even governed by british parliment. their system of government, instead, is based on fifteen increasingly ridiculous rules (which included, from memory, all of the rules from the song 'new rules' by dua lipa, and the fact that you have to train to be a blacksmith) and the first rule is that anyone who wants to be an elected official must be sent out to sea and return safely. you'd think, for a seaside town, that everyone would be at least somewhat skilled in seafaring, but no -- every single elected official they have sent out to sea has not returned, so they've not elected any new officials in years. the only one to ever come back is a man whose government name is grandad puddleduck. first name grandad. last name puddleduck.

hold on, i say, my last name is puddleduck. is he my grandad? it turns out yes, and i have to go and meet him because i was not raised in fisherdale-upon-hammersmith and have never known my family. it turns out i have a sister here too, whose name i can't remember, but she has a husband named gavin and two alive children, many, many dead ones. gavin is a bird. my poor old grandad is sick to bastard death of being elected official, especially since i imagine his business in town is mostly just sending people to die at sea. i tell him, i will become the new elected official so you can live out your old age by the sea peacefully, and maybe then i'll make some changes to this godforsaken place. like teaching the women to read. okay, says grandad, who is played by t, but you'll have to follow all the rules. the first rule is that all elected officials must be sent out to sea and come back whole, as you know. i decide to befriend the local fishermen and see if one of them will take me out in his boat. (is that against the rules? grandad says there's nothing in the book about it, so it's probably okay.) the first man i meet is named michael spearman (which i, the real me, danny, not jemima) genuinely just pulled out of my brain and did not know who it was attached to. i knew he was someone, but i couldn't really remember who at this time. i had a lot on my brain, such as the other fourteen fucking rules i would have to follow in order to become elected. it's appropriate, though, because he spears the fish. we affectionately name him fishermichael. fishermichael agrees to take me out in his boat, and it's a lovely little trip out into the ocean. however, as i learn the hard way, fishermike has a terrible condition wherein he will collapse if he hears a profanity. what fishermichael deems to be a profanity varies wildly based on how t (who is also playing fishermichael) is feeling. several times, i swear and fishermike is knocked out cold, and i have to go and do a side quest in order to kill time before he wakes up. eventually, we go out to sea, and for the first time, a prospective elected official begins rule 2.

what is rule 2, you ask? i can't fucking remember. this shit was taking hours. however, somewhere along the way i do indeed learn to be a blacksmith, and it turns out the blacksmith family thinks i am horrible. this will not fare me well in the election.

i also meet a character called archaeological dave. he runs the archaeology society, which he runs out of a shack which he built around a large statue he unearthed of a bald man holding a huge pickaxe, engraved with the phrase 'me when i go digging'. i will attach a picture for reference of what this statue may have looked like. an approximate recreation made by the greatest minds of our archaeological generation. archaeological dave drinks lots of coffee, which i soon come to learn is laced with cocaine. tons of cocaine.

he helps me complete some more of the tasks i need to do. i honestly don't remember most of them. once all fifteen rules have been completed, the town holds a very big celebration on the beach, including a maypole dance, a wreath making contest, afternoon tea, and a choir led by my brother in law the bird. as it turns out, poor old fishermike has another unfortunate condition where hearing music makes him turn into a table. this proves very frustrating when i have to ask him if he would vote for me and he can only speak in table wobbles.

my final task as elected official to be is to go around and 'hold the election', which involves asking every character i have met if they would like to elect me. almost everyone says yes, except for the blacksmith, who is just a wanker for some reason. i think grandad puddleduck once accidentally broke into his workshop and smithed something and he wasn't a big fan of that. but, cmon, blacksmith, i'm two generations removed from that and i'm new in town. give me a break. his wife and children say yes anyway, so i'm not that bothered.

after my flurry of yesses (and t forgetting how to do most of the voices), i am finally there. ready to become elected official of fishwick-upon-fishwick and bring literacy to it's women and install a proper healthcare system. but there's one problem.

remember when i said all women in fishborough-southwest-of-lumbago are married?

jemima is not married.

i have to frantically run around and find an unmarried man (who isn't also a child or my relative) but it's proving very difficult. hope is fading. i will have to abandon this small, small, small country and leave it's poor female populus without the joy of ever reading 'this is just to say' by william carol williams, or writing 'woz ere' on a toilet door. how will i ever live with myself?

but then. oh, then.

out of the darkness comes my shining light. his wife is dead. she's buried in the garden. he's on so much fucking cocaine.

archaeological dave.

(by this point, it's like 3pm. me and t left breakfast at about 10. this has been going on for fucking hours. and, to answer the question, we've been laughing our asses off the whole time)

i propose to archaeological dave and we become engaged. that's kind of the end, it fizzles out around here, because t and i are just in hysterics. what the fuck have we just done for the last approximately five hours? we've been in her garden, playing a roleplaying game like children. my phone is full of people asking where the fuck i've gone. t's mum is inside and has heard the whole thing through the open kitchen window.

my stomach muscles hurt for the next three days.

so, probably that.

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

anyway. it's mash tater.

[heavyhitterheaux]

She Tryna Do More With Her Than Do a Feature

First Lady of Private Garden Fic

AN: First Lady, her husband, and Dua Lipa in the same room? Lmao 😭

Synopsis: When you invite all of your friends over for a nice get together, Dua still can't help but to make passes at you. Jack then takes matters into his own hands and let’s her know that you are off limits. 

Pairing: Husband!Jack Harlow x Wife!Reader

Requested by: one of my beautiful anons 😘

Please Do Not Repost My Content Anywhere

"Druski!" You exclaimed while slapping his hand away as he was trying to reach for another one of your mini sweet potato pies. He already had 3. You had made a total of 24, but now it was down to around 17 because of him and Nas.

"What!? I'm hungry!"

"We can eat in a little while and if you keep this up, there won't be any food left!"

"I told your ass to lock him outside until the food was done." Nas exclaimed while rolling his eyes, but slipping past you and grabbing a small pie as well.

"You two! OUT OF MY KITCHEN NOW!" 

"It's not our fault it tastes so good! You be putting crack in it I swear!"

"OUT!" 

Both Druski and Nas rolled their eyes before hopping off the bar stools and following directions.

Those two were about to eat all of the food by themselves and not leave anything for anyone else.

When they were finally out of your sight, you realized that you still needed help to get everything finished and there was really only one person who you could stand being in the kitchen with so he quickly became your first choice.

"BABYYYYYY!" You screamed calling for Jack and he immediately came around the corner.

"Yes, mamas? You need help?" He asked while leaning down to kiss you and you eagerly kissed him back.

"Yes, but not if you're going to be eating everything. Nas and Druski were my helpers but I had to kick them out. I’m still not done."

"You know the only thing I'm trying to eat, baby girl." Jack replied while wiggling his eyebrows.

"Jackman, please not now. Later, I promise." 

“I mean, we have a little bit of time.”

“Jack, if this food burns I am murdering you so the answer is no. It’ll be featured on The First 28 and it’ll say When a Woman is Fed Up.”

“I thought that was the name of a song?”

You sighed before turning to him and kissing his cheek.

“Husband, take out the short ribs from the oven and put these pies in there because Druski and Nas were too busy eating them and I had to make more.”

“Wait a minute, are those the sweet potato ones?!”

You immediately rolled your eyes.

“Yes?”

“Shit, say less.” Jack immediately popped one in his mouth as you hit him with your spatula.

“Stop hitting me, mamas!”

“Then stop eating all the food!”

Just then the doorbell rang and you pulled up the camera app on your phone to see who it was and it was none other than Dua and immediately squealed.

You tried to make a beeline for the door before Jack pulled you back since he looked over your shoulder and had seen who it was.

“Baby, let me get the door!”

“No, I’ll get it. You stay your ass right here.”

You rolled your eyes and immediately pouted as you began making the crust for your strawberry cheesecakes.

Jack made his way to the door and answered it with Dua looking up at him and smiling.

“Jack! Long time no see!”

“Mmm hmm, not long enough.” Jack replied, looking her up and down as she continued smiling.

“So, are you going to let me in? Where’s your security you were talking about?”

“Wifey said I couldn’t have security and I guess I can. You better get in here and act accordingly.”

“I will! You worry too much.”

“I don’t trust you as far as I can throw you.”

Jack moved to the side as Dua walked past him and greeted everyone who was sitting around making small talk and drinking the watermelon margaritas you made.

You made sure to make hubby something non-alcoholic of course.

“She’s here!” Saweetie exclaimed and got up to hug her.

Everyone continued to entertain themselves as Jack made his way back into the kitchen to help you.

You were just finishing up the cheesecakes and putting them in the freezer.

“What else do you need help with mamas?”

“Hmm, nothing. I just wanted my baby near me.” You confessed as you wrapped your arms around him and he leaned down to kiss you.

Just then you heard her voice.

“Y/N!!!”

“DUA!!”

You immediately broke away from Jack in order to give her a hug and she quickly embraced you.

“Okay, that was long enough.” Jack muttered while pulling you away from her and rolling his eyes.

“You are such a hater, Jack.” Dua muttered back at him.

“I am not! You’re a wife stealer!”

“I am not!”

“Quit it, you two!”

You were simply waiting on a few more things to finish cooking when you went and sat outside since that’s where everyone had migrated to.

You were about to sit down in Jack’s lap, when Dua promptly pulled you onto hers.

“If you don’t get…” Jack quickly picked you up and sat you down on his, while eyeing Dua who was simply smiling and laughing at what she had just attempted to do. 

Urban and the rest of PG were watching the scene unfold and they couldn’t do anything but laugh. 

“I will kick you out my house.”

“Baby! That is not how we treat our guests!”

“She isn’t a guest, she’s a terror!”

“I’m innocent and have no idea what you’re talking about.”

You looked down to see one of your piglets, piggy smalls at your feet and you immediately picked him up. Megan was sitting across from you and playing with the other one, pork chop.

You simply cuddled him into your chest as he began to fall asleep.

“I still can’t believe Jack let you get all these animals.” Sunni piped up and said while looking at you.

“CORRECTION! I didn’t! Urban was supposed to watch her for an HOUR and I came home to find out I live in a zoo. How she did it in an hour, I have no idea.” Jack said as he leaned down to pick up Blanche, one of the golden girls.

“Why is it always my fault?!”

“What do you mean, Urb?!? You let her get away with anything!”

“And that is why he’s my best friend, duh!”

“Hold up, Jack you do too. You can never tell your wife no!” 2fo chimed in while eyeing him.

“We aren’t talking about me right now!”

“Nah, you about to get this smoke too. Last week, she asked for a new bracelet that she wanted knowing that you had gotten her a necklace the day before. And what did your ass do? Went and got it for her.”

“Look, my wife is well taken care of!”

“I can do a better job taking care of her!”

“Jesus, Dua about to make Jack have a coronary.” Normani said while looking over at him. 

“You lucky I even let you sit near her. Watch it.”

“Only thing I want to watch is her cumming underneath me.”

“TIME OUT!! TIME FUCKING OUT!!”

“What?”

“Didn’t I tell your ass to act like you got some sense when you got in my house?”

“It doesn’t seem that your wife has a problem with it since she hasn’t said anything.” Dua shrugged while looking over at the two of you.

You were simply rocking piggy smalls to sleep while trying not to laugh.

“Y/N, if you laugh, I swear.”

You let out a small chuckle before standing up wanting to go check on the food.

“I’ll be back. I have to set everything out but we can probably eat.”

“I’ll help you.”

“NO! You stay your ass right here!” Jack said while handing Blanche to Urban and following behind you. 

Of course Dua didn’t listen and waited about two minutes before she came into the kitchen.

You didn’t notice her, but Jack did as she was trying to squeeze in behind you but Jack promptly picked you up and kissed you, catching you off guard leaving Dua to pout.

“BABY! Help me do this! I can give you kisses later. Oh, hi Dua. You came to help?” She simply nodded as Jack put you back down and you handed her plates.

“Uh uh, I’m onto your ass.” Jack whispered at Dua and she playfully rolled her eyes.

“She’s yours, for now.” 

All of you were sitting around the table with Jack on one side of you and Dua on the other which he was not happy about when Megan brought up the infamous instagram post of Maggie learning that Jack almost got you pregnant at 16. 

“Scariest shit in my life.”

“All because of Clayborn’s dumb ass.” Jack said while rolling his eyes. 

“I THOUGHT SHE KNEW” Clay exclaimed while looking at the both of you. 

“WHY THE FUCK WOULD SHE KNOW WHEN I TOLD YOUR ASS NOT TO TELL ANYBODY?”

“Either way, that was a phone call that Jack will never live down. I thought Maggie was about to reach through the phone and kick his ass.”

“And you weren’t even trying to defend me.”

“Defend you for what? You didn’t use a condom!”

“Because I ran out and the store was closed!”

“And?! You could’ve asked Urban for one!”

“But you knew this and STILL let me hit, mamas. You not innocent in all that.”

“Am too. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.” You replied while reaching over onto Jack’s plate and stealing a short rib.

“I know your ass didn’t just do what I think you just did.” Jack asked while eyeing you.

“I can do whatever I want since I made the damn food. You’ll be compensated for it later.”

“Okay, anyway, we need dessert now!”

“Druski if you touch another sweet potato pie, I will literally castrate you.”

“Well got damn!”

“YOU ALREADY HAD THREE AND NAS DON’T LAUGH BECAUSE YOU WERE EATING THEM TOO!”

“I just want you as my dessert if I’m being honest.”

“Dua!”

“Only person who is getting to have her as a dessert is me!”

“And Urban for that matter.”

“CUT IT OUT YOU TWO!”

“Hey, wait a minute, you never answered us in the group chat when we asked who was better!” Sza revealed and Jack and Urban started to smirk while you were looking at her in disbelief.

“It was supposed to be two pages with pictures and sources!”

“I am going to say this one time and one time only and this does not leave this fucking room.”

“We’re waiting sis!”

“No one is better than the other. They’re just… different.”

“Different how?”

“AHT AHT! I answered your question now moving on!”

“We want details!” Saweetie yelled.

“No we don’t!” Quiiso said from the opposite end of the table.

“I call him Missionary Jack for a reason and….”

Jack couldn’t do anything but smirk. 

“And what?!?”

“Don’t get quiet on us now!”

“I… never mind, I don't even want to say it.”

“Stop stalling!”

Urban was eyeing you because he had a good feeling about what you were about to say.

“She’s about to say how well I ate her ass.”

“BITCHHHHHHHH!!!!”

“NOT AT THE FUCKING DINNER TABLE, MY GOD!”

“GOT DAMN IT! NOW I LOST MY FUCKING APPETITE!” Druski yelled while throwing down his fork.

“DON’T WORRY THAT SHIT WILL RETURN IN ABOUT TEN MINUTES! AND Y/N ISN’T IT THE BEST FEELING?!”

“IS NOTHING OFF LIMITS? JESUS!”

“HEY, YOU ASKED!”

“YALL ACT LIKE THAT SHIT WAS A SECRET! HAVEN’T YALL SEEN URBAN’S TWITTER LIKES!?”

“HEY!”

“HE STAY LIKING SOME WEIRD ASS SHIT!”

“MY VIRGIN EARS, DEAR LORD HELP ME!”

“VIRGIN EARS? REALLY?! NO ONE AT THIS TABLE IS A VIRGIN!”

“I mean I can offer my services, nothing is off limits when it comes to Y/N.”

“DUA!”

“What? What’d I say?”

“I could have went my ENTIRE life without learning that shit.” Nemo confessed while attempting to take a sip of his margarita. 

“Yall be the ones asking the questions and when I answer suddenly it’s a problem?” You asked while looking at Nemo.

“Let this be a fair warning, no one else is getting that close to my wife, EVER.”

“WE KNOW!” Everyone all said collectively and Jack simply eyed Dua.

“For now, Jack. For now.”

“That’s it, meet me outside NOW.”

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[erodasfishtacos]

The Brits Dilemma

” Prompt: Harry & Y/N go to the Brits. It’s the first time they’ve been away from their baby. Y/N is struggling but doesn’t want to ruin the night for her husband.

Word Count: 1.8 k +

Warnings: Depictions of breastfeeding

+++++++

The award show was going well. It was the first time Y/N had been out in nearly three months besides a few brunch dates and grocery shopping.

Usually, she was pretty confident in what she wore to accompany her husband to all of these flashy events - but not tonight.

Her bump had deflated but she was still attempting to get rid of the stubborn pouch that stayed after the baby had been born. It wasn’t anything out of the norm - just still trying to lose it.

She was breastfeeding and her breasts were much larger than before. They felt heavy and too big for her body. Not to mention, they were constantly swollen and achey. Pads were a must so she doesn’t leak through the tight satin black dress.

The dress was a beautiful custom design by Gucci that complimented Harry’s sharp suit but nothing felt right. It was digging into her sides and made it hard for her to sit on her chair.

The Brits were held in the O2 Arena which wasn’t very far from their London home but she felt like she was lightyears away from her baby. Even though she knew Sasha was in good hands with Anne.

Y/N was so proud of Harry for being up for five - yes, five different awards. It was a record for him and she didn’t want to let him down by complaining. It was his night. He’s been such a devote father - he deserved a break too.

So she swallowed down the anxiety she was feeling about being away from their little newborn for the night along with her worries about her changing body.

There was milling about between the tables before the show got started. Harry had people coming up him constantly - congratulating him on the album, the nominations, the baby.

Married life and fatherhood suited him well. A dazzling wedding band on his left ring finger, a necklace with an S for his daughter, along with her name freshly inked on right above his butterfly tattoo.

The open jacket he wore with is his barely buttoned dress shirt displayed it proudly. It was beautiful, done delicately in a timeless cursive. The font match his wife name that was tattooed on his hand.

He couldn’t lie and say he wasn’t excited to have a night out with his wife. He had Jeff booked a hotel for the night to have some alone time with you while his mum got to enjoy a night with her only grandchild.

Y/N was counting down the hours up until tomorrow when she could go home to see her baby. She should really tell Harry that she wants to go home and not out to a club and the hotel.

But the it just slowly starts to deteriorate further when a bald, plump business exec comes to greet the two of you. He gives his warm wishes about the birth of your child before smiling at Y/N and stating, “The baby weight will come off soon enough.”

Her throat closes up a bit and she self-consciously tries to push her chair closer to the table. It was the last thing that she needed to hear. Confirming all of her worst insecurities.

Harry glares at the man before turning to his wife, “Hey, you look s’perfect, my love. I’m so bloody lucky you’re mine.”

He’s truly trying his hardest to bring a smile to her face but he notices it’s never quite meeting her eyes. 

It get even worse when Harry gets his first award, male solo artist of the year. 

As she’s standing and clapping for him - she realizes she’s beginning to leak through her nipple inserts.

Y/N excuses herself in the middle of his acceptance speech to rush through the string of tables - out into the corridor. The last thing she wanted to do was for it to show up on a very expensive dress.

The echo of his voice can still be heard, “Love to thank my beautiful wife who makes writing sappy love songs easy and was the main inspiration for my recent album. She also just gave birth to our beautiful baby.....”

She feels awful when she tunes him out, finding the bathroom and hurriedly rushing in. There’s a gorgeous woman standing at the sink, washing their hands. 

Fucking Taylor Swift.

Any other time it’d be awkward and uncomfortable - running into an ex who wrote multiple songs about her husband.

But she couldn’t careless right now, “Hi, erm, this is really weird but could you unzip my dress? I’m leaking and - shit that was way too much information.”

But Taylor smiles kindly, “No! It’s okay, totally. No worries. Congratulations on your baby - you look so hot tonight.”

Y/N laughs and thanks her for unzipping the dress before going into a stall and locking the door. She slides her bra straps off her shoulders and disposes of the soaked pad in the sanitary bin.

Luckily, she has a clean burp rag that she gently swipes at her breast - wincing as it brushes against her swollen nipples. Even the soft fabric felt too rough on them.

It’s a minute or two before the bathroom door swings open, “Y/N? Lovie? Are you in ‘ere?”

She feels guilt at the panic in his voice. Managing to croak out, “I’m in here,” before leaning forward to unlock the door.

Harry waste no time in sliding into the stall before latching the lock again. Taking in the sight of his wife in front of him.

“I-I started leaking, M’sorry,” Y/N whispers, she has no reason to feel embarrassed but she is. “I missed your speech.”

“None of that, baby. I’ll give more speeches for you to hear - I only care that you’re okay. I’m sorry y’leakin, lemme help you, pet.”

In true Harry fashion, he takes the rag and turns on the sink - running it under warm water before carefully cleaning his wife up.

“Are they botherin’ you? They look irritated and super swollen, darling,” Harry frowns, a very gentle thumb coming to brush against her nipple. Then cupping her swollen breast in his hand, thumb rubbing at the pink skin.

“Just a little bit,” She lies, they’re absolutely on fire with chafing and skin irritation from the bra she’s wearing. She never thought she’d miss her nursing bras and sports bras this much.

He nods and helps place new inserts in her bra. Who’d think this is what Harry would be doing between accepting awards. Everyone unassuming in the arena.

**

Harry has been four for four thus far into the ceremony. They’d only had him go up and give two acceptance speeches. His hand firmly planted on his wife’s thigh throughout. 

When he went up for his second award, the camera zooms in and the crowd coos are he plants a kiss on his wife’s lips before pulling her into a hug - whispering something into her ear the audience can’t hear.

He was much more focused on his wife. He could read her fairly well - he’d like to think. Enough to know she’s having much fun. But he didn’t want to bring it up and make her feel bad.

Harry sees the way she keeps adjusting her bra, fidgets with his rings when his hands in his lap, and not even really looking up while one of her favorite artist - Dua Lipa -performs.

Y/N loved a good party before the baby. So Harry was hoping going to the Brits afterparty would make her feel better and then going back to their hotel room for a some alone time.

**

Y/N has been increasingly quiet when they’re exiting the arena after the final award artist of the year - which Harry had also won.

He was on cloud nine and admittedly a little distracted as he joked and laughed with a small group of friends on the way out. 

“Alright, should we all just pile into a cab for the ride to the party?” Nick Grimshaw asks everyone.

Everyone is in agreement - including Harry -as he calls to order one - standing in the blocked off area away from fans and paparazzi.

Y/N wants to tell him she wants to go home to Sasha but when she hears him say, “Can’t wait to get to Exhibit - haven’t been there in forever. One of my favorite clubs.”

She bites her tongue. Harry is enjoying his night out - why can’t she?

In the taxi, she’s sat on Harry’s lap as they make their way to the club. His one hand is on her inner thigh and the other is on her waist holding her steady.

In the morning, she’ll blame her post-partum hormones and anxiety. But she doesn’t even realizing her eyes are filling with tears and when she blinks they spill down her face.

She wouldn’t feel as embarrassed if she wasn’t in the car full of literal celebrities who are filled with adrenaline and excitement. Chattering and drinking from little liquor bottles they’d snuck in their jackets and clutches.

“Y/N, are you alright?” Rita Ora asks from her seat - noticing the streaks ruining your makeup.

She nods pathetically, wiping at her eyes but Harry is turning her to face him. His bright green eyes filled with concern as he studies her face.

The previously very obnoxiously loud cab becomes silent as they try to give the couple a semblance of non-existent privacy.

“What’s happening, dove? Are you hurting?” Harry panics, coming to wipe the smeared makeup away.

“I don’t want to go to the club,” Y/N sniffles, squeezing her eyes shut at how embarrassed she is of her behavior. She would usually never act this way - especially in public. And Harry knows that so it makes him even more concerned.

“That’s okay, pet. We can go have a night in, when the cab stops - we can uber back to the hotel,” Harry soothes, surprised when that brings on fresh tears.

“N-no, I want to go home. I miss the baby, I want to- need to see our baby. I-I can’t do this. My anxiety is through the roof, Harry. What if she can’t sleep? Or isn’t taking the bottle?”

“Baby, breathe, breathe. We can go home. I miss the bub terribly too. Have been worried about her all night.”

Harry tugs his wife into his chest further - tucking her head into his neck as he shoots his friends grateful looks. They all nod, sympathetic and understanding - despite them not having kids of their own.

**

“I ruined your night,” Y/N says softly in the back of the uber home. “I leaked during the show; cried in front of all your friends.”

Harry takes her chin gentle but firm until she meets his gaze, “You didn’t ruin anything f’me. All I care about is you and the baby - not some stupid award ceremony or party.”

He continues on, “You just gave us Sasha three months ago - y’bloody amazing. Best mum, best wife. Sexiest too - know you don’t think that right now but your body literally grew my baby. I get a hard-on everytime I see you.”

They both laugh, Y/N leaning forward to capture her husbands lips in a meaningful kiss of gratitude and thanks.

**

Anne smiles kindly when the two of them arrive home. A very fussy, red-faced swaddled baby coddled in her arms. 

“She hasn’t settled for quite a while now - she missed her parents very much,” Harry’s mum tells them, transferring her into her father’s arms. He’s automatically rocking and running his thumb over her cheek.

“Ooh, we missed you. Was Nana nice to you?” Harry coos. Sasha has already quieted and is blinking tearfully up at her smiling father.

“Such a good girl, best girl,” Y/N sighs, leaning in to kiss her downy hair. Harry’s hand coming to wrap around his wife’s waist as they peer down at their perfect little daughter.

Anne smiles at his son and daughter-in-law fawning over their little creation with so much love and adoration.

After a minute of chatting -Harry’s mum makes her way up to the guest room after a long night with a miserable baby. They make their way to their room where Y/N strips out of her tight dress and awful bra. 

She sits against the headboard in just a pair of soft cotton panties. Harry is gently shushing her and humming a melody as his wife gets situated. He knew she was anxious to feed the baby.

“That’s it my sweet thing. Y’missed us, hm? We missed you too, bub. Nana said y’wouldn’t take the bottle. Only want your mumma, hmm?” Harry coos, kissing her chubby cheeks.

He’s then giving Y/N the baby, who ferociously latching within seconds and begins eating like she’d been starved for the last week. Making weak little rumbles as she does so.

They both giggle fondly, Y/Ns fingers come to touch her fluttering cheek - memorizing her over and over again.

Harry gets onto the bed and settles next to the both of them. Watching his baby feed in amazement at what his wife was capable of. He smears a few kisses against her bare shoulder - hand on his baby’s back.

How strong she was - as he knew it had to be at least a little bit painful with how irritated her nipples had been. He can tell when she winces every once in a while.

He plants a few more kisses to her warm skin - noticing her eyes getting a bit droopy as Sasha feeds at a slow, suckling pace.

“If I’m being honest, being with you - watching you feed our baby...I’d rather be here than at any club.” 

Y/N snorts, rolling her eyes, “Sure.”

Her husband frowns, “M’serious, this is all I need, baby.”

“I love you, congratulation on all your Brits,” Y/N murmurs, pecking at his lips.

“I love you too. I meant it, during my speeches. I wouldn’t have been able to write those songs if you hadn’t inspired me. You’ll and the bab will always be the best muse.”

[watchmegetobsessed]

Our song - Harry Styles

this one was inspired by the jingleball performance bc it was pure perfection and UGHH im obsessed.

dedicated to my dear friend @dontworrysunflower

disclaimer: the song Homesick by Dua Lipa is featured in this fic as an original work of Harry and the reader, but it’s obviously an existing song, I just thought that it would be the song they write

pairing: Harry x vocalist!reader

word count: 5.3k

masterlist

You’ve felt the adrenaline rush take over your body many times in your life and they were all different in some kind of way. The one you felt when you were about to write an important test in school, the one that bubbled through your veins when you got your first kiss. The one that rolled through your limbs and chest when you first performed in front of people that weren’t your parents and the one you felt when you got the news that you were chosen to tour with none other than Harry Styles as his vocalist, singing on his stage every other night in a different city and different country.

But none of those were anything like the feeling that takes over every time you stand on that stage, your microphone that’s labelled with your name right in front of you as thousands of people are screaming in the jam-packed arena. Though it’s not you they come to see and listen to, but you are part of the magic and it’s quite enough for you.

You could never be the one standing at the front with all the lights shining down on your frame, having every gaze in the place glued to you, listening to your voice. That brings the kind of anxiety you’re quite sure you wouldn’t be able to handle. You are perfectly fine standing in the back, being the support system while staying on the down-low as someone else shines at the front, in your case, it’s Harry.

You applied for the job with a reason, already having a huge appreciation for him as an artist, adoring his work so far, especially Fine Line. Upon hearing about the opportunity to be part of his tour, you didn’t hesitate to send your application in and following three auditions, you got the phone call that they wanted you on board.

He swept you right off your feet the first time you met him, but you didn’t expect less from him. Everything you heard about him being the most wonderful person to every walk the planet were proven to be nothing but the truth. You hit it off so easily and become close through the process of rehearsals. His odd little jokes, that funny laugh of his and the way he always peeks over his shoulder to meet his eyes with yours made you fall for him faster than you’d have ever thought you could.

Just as fast as your feeling for Harry developed, tour caught up on you and before you could blink twice, you were living on the road, always dressing from your suitcase, waking up in a different city every other morning.

The foreign studio feels a little odd, but still somehow familiar as you walk in with your water and notebook under your arm. Random studio sessions with Harry became a regular not long after tour kicked off. Harry’s creative juices were overflowing and he was aching to record his creations, constantly renting random studios near the hotel you lot were staying currently and one night, when some of you all were hanging out in his suit, he asked if you’d be down helping him record vocals for a song he’s been working on.

“I want to hear it with your voice instead of mine,” he told you leaning against the wall, a glass of whatever Mitch mixed him in his hands.

“Getting bored of your own voice?” you teased him, bringing his dimples out with the smile that plastered across his lips.

“Could say that. Are you up for it?”

There was no way you would have said no. So the next morning you found yourself in a studio somewhere in Sacramento, singing the vocals to a song no one else has heard other than you and Harry.

The tour has now reached Denver, you can’t wait to be on the stage tonight, but before that, you are having another quick session with Harry in the studio.

When you walk in, his head perks up from his leather notebook he always keeps on himself, filled with his scribbled lyrics. A smile stretches across his lips when his green eyes fall on your frame.

“Hey! Hope it’s not too early for you,” he softly says standing up from the chair as you put your stuff down to the small table in the corner.

“No, managed to get a good night sleep still,” you smile at him, taking a quick look around, though this recording room is just like the others you’ve been in.

“I think I figured out that part we struggled with last time. Changed up the ending a bit, would you mind giving it another go?”

You nod looking down at his notes, seeing the changes he has made in the vocals.

“Changed anything else?” you ask as you watch him get ready for the recording.

“Yeah, rewrote a few lines, think they are fitting better now.”

“Have you recorded them yet?”

“Will do now,” he tells you shaking his head.

Soon enough you find yourself standing behind the mic, headset covering your ears as you are waiting for Harry to start recording and the music to play in your ears. Once he shows up his thumb you do the same and a moment later the song you’ve heard last time you two were working starts flowing from the headset and you stare down at the notes in front of you, waiting for the moment when you have to start singing.

It takes you a few runs to nail it down, but when you finally do, you can see the satisfied grin on Harry’s face and you think to yourself that there’s nothing you wouldn’t do to make him like this anytime.

“That was fantastic,” he beams once you join him at the screens where you see your voice appear as a pattern over a straight line. Harry does his usual magic before leaving it be. “Mind assisting recording my part?” he asks turning to you with an excited smile.

Nodding you let him tell you what to do and once he is all set behind the mic, you start the recording and the song. You listen to him in awe. There hasn’t been a moment when you didn’t feel the shiver running down your spine when he started singing. You are convinced a choir of angels is hidden in his throat, because it’s hard to believe he is just as human as everyone else.

He sings the whole song three times before he joins you again, listening back to what you have so far. The song is coming along pretty well and you can tell by the time he finishes it, it’s gonna be perfect. Everything he does is just pure perfection, whether he likes to admit it or not.

“You know how it would be absolutely perfect?” he asks you on your way back to the hotel. The two of you grabbed a coffee as well, so now you’re sipping on the hot drink, enjoying the somewhat sunny weather.

“Hm?”

“I think it would be best if a female voice sang the whole thing and the male was just the vocal.”

“Who do you think would fit best for it then?” you ask, immediately thinking of singers that could be perfect for the song. It wouldn’t be the first time Harry would sell a song to someone else, so you’re not surprised he is thinking about this kind of change.

“Y/N, I found the voice already,” he chuckles and you give him a puzzled look. “You. You are singing the song, I don’t need anyone else.”

“I’m not a solo singer,” you protest.

“There’s no such thing as solo or not solo. You’re a singer and a bloody good one. I want you to sing it.”

“But it would go to waste, because I would never actually perform it.”

“How are you so sure about that?” he smirks slyly at you, immediately making you nervous.

“Harry, I don’t sing solo,” you shake your head stubbornly, but he rolls his eyes at you.

“You could just try it. Let’s just record the song next time with you in the lead and then we can talk about the rest.”

“I’m fine recording, but I will never perform it,” you tell him, but his look makes you think he has other plans.

When tour reaches Dallas, the song gets a version with you singing solo and Harry doing the vocals in it. And though you had doubts about the switch, listening back to it you can tell how much it helped. It really is better with a female voice, though you are still convinced it shouldn’t be you.

“Are you sure you don’t want to sell it to someone? I’m fine with that,” you ask him before the show in Dallas. You’re sitting on the table in his dressing room while he is painting his nails, his tongue poking out in concentration.

“I told you, I like it with your voice. Why is that so hard to believe?”

“Because I’m not a—“

“Fuck’s sake if you dare to tell me one more time that you’re not a solo singer, I’m firing you, Y/N!” he snaps, giving you a hard look, but you just laugh at his temper.

“It’s the truth.”

“Have you ever tried to go solo?”

“Not for years,” you admit and watch him screw the nail polish closed, pushing it aside, his hands lying flat on the table as he is carefully waiting for them to dry.

“So then how do you know you are no good at it?”

“Because I hated it back then, so I most likely would hate it now as well,” you state matter-of-factly, but Harry doesn’t seem amused by your answer.

“So you think you haven’t changed a bit in years? I hope you know that’s absolute bollocks.”

“Why are you so keen on making me sing solo?” you sigh, giving him a tired look. It feels like the two of you have been running the same circles since forever. It’s not his first attempt to get you sing more than just the vocals, he once wanted to do a cover and needed a partner because it was a duet and begged you for weeks to sing with him, but you didn’t give in. You just couldn’t.

“Because I think that you are a talented singer and I want you to feel the adrenaline rush performing gives you.”

“I do get that rush every time I sing behind you. That’s enough for me.”

Harry shakes his head pressing his lips tight together.

“That’s not the same as being in the lead. It’s a whole different world.”

“Yeah, one that makes me shit my pants,” you chuckle and he can’t push a smile back.

“Maybe we should just work on it. Your anxiety. I think we could actually make you feel better if we tried.”

“I still don’t know where this obsession with me being solo comes for you.”

Harry stands up, takes one last look at his nails before he steps closer smiling down at you softly and you bite into your bottom lip, realizing how close he is standing to you. His fingers tap in your cheek gently, running them down to your chin as he tilts your head up a bit.

“Just accept it, Love,” he smiles softly before stepping away and carrying on with his routine.

That evening, you stand at the back with the other two vocalists, eyes glued to Harry’s figure at the front of the stage, you watch him pour his soul out to the audience, interact with them and reach that state of mind you have never been able to get into. You know what he told you about performing is true, yet you are still terrified to do it yourself. It’s too nerve wrecking to have everyone look at and listen to you, so many chances to mess it up and make a fool out of yourself.

But when Harry’s eyes meet yours and he shoots you a warm smile, something shifts in you. The urge to have this connection with not just the audience and the song, but with him takes over your whole body and you make up your mind to at least give it a try.

Harry is ecstatic when you tell him later that night that you changed your mind. You see that sparkle in his eyes and it was already worth for you, just seeing him react like that.

“Though I have a few suggestions to change the lyrics.”

“You do?” he asks, seemingly surprised, but mostly amused that you had the balls to come out with it.

“Yeah. Just some tiny details.”

“Why haven’t you told me about these before?”

“Because it was your song. But if you want me to sing it, it has to be mine as well.” Harry stares back at you with a smile that’s filled with pride and joy, making your heart flutter in your aching chest as you think about performing solo.

“Our song,” he softly says nodding his head.

Arriving to Houston the two of you are quick to book a studio and work on the song. Harry lets you make any changes you desire on the lyrics, even says you did justice to it and that you should have spoken up earlier about your ideas. And then you record it.

It’s not that you have to sing the whole song and not just the vocals this time. You are completely fine with Harry hearing you sing, it’s the thought of performing it in front of anyone that’s not him, that’s what makes you turn into a wreck.

You record Harry’s vocals and once it’s all put together, you are blown by the outcome. You wouldn’t have thought Harry’s voice as the vocal would compliment you in the lead, but it’s just absolutely perfect and even you can’t find anything wrong with it.

“Love, this is what Heaven sounds like, I’m telling you,” he smirks at you from the chair beside you, playing the song for the tenth time, not able to get enough of the final product.

“You are so cheesy,” you shake your head, but feel the blush heating up your cheeks. His eyes linger on you a little longer before he turns back to the screen.

When the song is over he finally stops is so silence comes over the studio. Harry turns back to face you, his green eyes basically burning a hole into your head.

“So, when are we going to perform it?”

“I really don’t think it’s a good idea,” you sigh looking down at your hands fumbling with your shirt.

“And I do think it is. So I’m not stopping until you at least try it.”

Harry Styles gets what he wants. Always. And this time, no matter how hard you try to resist him, you just can’t deny this from him. Though it takes him time to talk you up, in Washington he finally gets you to give it a try in an empty stadium.

Most of the crew is out, since the building has been finished about half an hour before, so everything is perfectly set for tonight’s show when you walk out to the stage, following Harry in his heels. He asked the piano to be brought to the front along with a mic on it and another one on a stand next to it. The two of you quietly put on your earpieces, doing everything as if it was a usual occasion before a concert, only that this time the roles will be entirely switched.

“It’s fine, alright? No one is around,” he tells you when he sees how nervous you are to sing the song for the first time outside a studio.

“There are some backstage,” you mumble under your breath, not expecting him to do anything about it.

But he does. You watch him walk backstage, completely dumbfounded about what he is doing. He disappears from your sight and a few moments later you hear him shouting at the back.

“No one comes to the stage until I say so! Yea? Thanks!” he orders and then walks back as if he didn’t just boss around the whole crew.

“They will think you’re some kind of crazy celebrity,” you chuckle when he returns, a small smirk playing on his pink lips.

“Don’t care, Darling. Now sing you heart out for me.”

Harry sits on the piano bench, his fingers getting settled on the keys before he looks up to meet your anxious eyes.

“It’s alright. Just you and me, yea?”

Nodding you gulp hard and jump a little when he starts playing the melody the two of you have been working on for so long. You hear all the notes and you know you have to start singing, but you miss the opening. Harry stops and looks at you, as you move your eyes down to the ground, ashamed you messed up immediately.

“S-Sorry, I just—“

“How can I help?” he asks right away, not even caring about the fact that you messed up, focused on figuring out a way that would help you.

“I don’t know. I really don’t,” you sigh, feeling your nerves getting worse with each passing moment.

“Come sit next to me,” he then tells you motioning for you to join him on the bench.

“What?”

“Take your mic and sit next to me,” he repeats, scooting over to make you space. Hesitantly, you pull the mic out of the stand and walking over you sit next to him. “Now you are not in the center. Just listen to the music, watch my hands on the keys, okay?”

You nod, running your tongue over your dry lips as you hold the mic to your mouth before Harry starts playing again.

After the first few notes you close your eyes and when it’s time for you to start singing, Harry leans a little against you, giving you a kind of push to just do it. And it works.

It feels a little as if it’s not even you who starts singing, but it is. Your voice fills the empty arena along with the piano’s melody and keeping your eyes closed a little longer you let your mind settle. When the first verse ends you open them and watch his hands work on the keys, right as he starts singing the vocals, leaning a little forward so his voice reaches his mic.

It’s different. It’s electric and freeing, hear your voice through the massive speakers, to be in the lead and have Harry be just the support in the song. But it feels so right, better than anything you’ve ever felt.

Line after line, you hit all the notes and by the end of the song you are able to strip all your fears down and give yourself over to the music completely. As you sing the last few notes you feel Harry’s eyes on you and turning to face him, you are met with his warm, pride-filled smile and bright eyes, glued to you while his fingers press down the last notes.

The music dies down, the voice of the piano vibrates in the air a little longer until it completely disappears and the silence returns into the stadium.

“Love,” Harry quietly calls out for you and you turn completely towards him. “That was absolutely perfect.”

“You think so?” you ask, voice barely more than just a whisper, your eyes never leaving his gaze.

“I know so,” he huffs, smile widening. He brings an arm around your shoulders and pulls you into a hug, pressing a lingering kiss to your forehead as you let out a breath you’ve been holding in for way too long.

He doesn’t try to make you perform that evening, knowing well it was enough for one day, but he does make you sing it with him in each city in the upcoming weeks. Before every concert, he empties out the area around the stage and the two of you sit down at the piano, singing your song until you feel comfortable enough to stand next to the instrument instead of sitting next to him.

The tour reaches New York and Madison Square Garden is getting ready to host Harry Styles for two evenings. The place is massive and you find yourself sitting at the edge of the stage when Harry emerges from backstage.

“Looks wild, right?” he asks sitting next to you, his thigh brushing against yours as he gets seated.

“Yeah. Pretty amazing.”

“This place has the most magical vibe.” “Yeah?” Turning to him you watch him take the arena in, his eyes glistening at the sight in front of him. You know it’s not his first time performing here, but it’s nice to see the excitement in his eyes regardless.

That feeling returns to your chest, the one you felt when Harry told you he wanted you to sing the song. The urge to be part of this amazing something that’s so much bigger than you.

“H?”

“Yea?” he turns to you smiling.

“Can I… Do you think we could sing our song tonight?”

You watch the pure surprise and excitement wash over his face, his smile stretching across his face as he stares back at you in awe.

“You want to sing it?”

Shyly, you nod your head and in a heartbeat his arms lock around you, pulling you into the tightest hug. The two of you almost fall off the stage, laughing together at his dramatic reaction.

“Of course we can sing it, Love. Would be an honor!”

Harry is quick to let the band know about the addition for tonight’s set and though everyone seems surprised, they are all supportive about your solo. As the time goes and the concert gets closer, you can feel the nerves building up and soon enough, you start to doubt your choice to sing the song tonight.

Right before it’s time to go on stage Harry takes your hand and pulls you aside, taking your face in his hands gently, making you look into his eyes.

“I know you are doubting yourself, but just know that I’m very proud of you, even if you decide to not sing the last minute.”

“I could do that?” you whisper, your hands finding his sides and you let them rest on him, a way to ground yourself in the windwhirl of your thoughts.

“Of course. I wouldn’t want to make you do something you don’t really want. Though I know you will be amazing if you choose to sing.”

Nodding you let a weak smile appear on your lips and you notice as his eyes flicker down to them before he moves his gaze up to your eyes. He then pulls you into a proper hug before walking back to the rest of the band and vocalists.

Everything goes as usual and once again, you can’t take your eyes off Harry on the stage. Just watching him perform fills you up with life, enough to keep you from running away. About halfway into the set, as the crowd is still cheering after the previous song, Harry jogs over to you.

“You ready?” he asks over the noise and before you could think about it, you nod your head.

Two guys from the crew pushes the piano further to the front and they help to set everything up as you awkwardly stand at the side. Once your mic is in the stand you walk over there, heart hammering in your chest, hands shaking like crazy.

“I have a special song for you tonight,” Harry announces into the microphone as he makes his way over to the piano. “Please welcome the lovely Y/N here, who is gonna enchant you with a song we’ve been working on lately.”

The crowd screams and you allow yourself to look around with a weak smile. So many people, you think to yourself, everyone watching you.

“It’s called Homesick, and it means so much to us, so we hope you’ll like it Justas much as we do,” Harry adds before settling on the bench and his eyes find yours. “I’m proud of you,” you see him say, only able to read his lips since the crowd is screaming so loud. “Ready?” he asks and you nod, taking a shaky breath.

He sends you a warm comforting smile before glancing down at the keys and then he starts playing. 

Just like the first time, you close your eyes, forcing yourself to focus on the melody and nothing else. The lump in your throat is quite uncomfortable, but you open your eyes and see that Harry is looking straight at you, nodding in encouragement, as his fingers push down the keys to the notes right before you have to start.

“Here, where the sky’s falling, I’m covered in blue, I’m running and I’m crawling, fighting for you…”

Harry smiles wide when your voice flows through the speakers, filling the whole place, making everyone go quiet in a heartbeat as the song carries on. You feel your chest slowly deflating, the nerves cooling down with each sung note.

“You give me a reason, something to believe in, I know, I know, I know. You give me a meaning, something I can breathe in, I know, I know, I know…”

The chorus comes out perfect, your voice melting together with the piano and you finally feel your muscles relax as you slowly let go of every toxic thought that’s been tainting your mind. Harry leans closer to his microphone and his voice gently joins yours in the next verse.

“There’s a crack in my window, a bird in my room, angels all over that watch over you…”

Chills run down your spine hearing his voice, your eyes never leaving his gaze that’s fixated on your standing figure. You get lost in him and the song, something that came from the both of you, a piece of you and him. Standing there, singing this piece makes you feel closer to him than ever and you desperately want this feeling to last forever, hoping the song never ends though you know it’s gonna happen.

“When I’m walking on water all my dreams have come true. Still nothing means nothing without you…”

Homesick is exactly the feeling that bubbles inside you when you think of Harry. Because there’s this man you love so much, who is a home away from home to you, yet you still feel like you can’t be home entirely. Not in the way you’d want to. But standing on the stage in the spotlight, singing together with him as thousands of people are watching the two of you, yet you still manage to forget about them, for a moment, you feel like you finally arrived home. You are there, with him.

“Tell my heart to lie, but I know deep inside it’s true. That I wish I was there with you. That I wish I was there with you, oh I wish I was there with you.”

He plays the end of the song without tearing his eyes away from you, and there’s just a heartbeat of silence before the crowd starts screaming deafeningly, but that short moment… is yours and his.

Tugging your hair behind your ears with your shaky hands, your eardrums on the verge of breaking as you let out a laugh that was kind of a sob as well, relief washing over your body. Harry is quick to jump to his feet and rushing over he envelopes you in a tight hug.

“I’m so so so proud of you, Love. You were everything!” he mumbles, arms holding you so tight you almost lose your breath, but you want him this close, or even closer. You need to feel him, because it doesn’t feel real. His hold brings you a sense of existence only he can give you.

“Thank you, Harry,” you breathe out when he pulls back to look into your eyes, the screaming hasn’t died down even a tad little.

“No, thank you, Darling. You shined like the star that you are,” he grins, playing a sloppy kiss to your cheek before his arms fall off you.

You’d die to stay in this moment a little longer, but the show must go on. The crew pushes the piano back and soon enough, the next song starts. You stay in your spot for the rest, but you keep catching Harry smiling in your way, always making you blush.

The end of a concert is always a little hectic, everyone is all over the place. Still coming off the high you just experienced, you head to the dressing room you share with the other vocalists. They are going on and on about how amazing Homesick was, and you somehow still can’t believe tonight happened. Packing your stuff you barely notice that the door flies open, but you see Harry appear from the corner of your eye.

“Ladies, would you please give me a moment with Y/N?” he asks and the girls are quick to leave the two of you alone. You stand there, kind of dumbfounded, not sure why he is acting so dramatic. Once the door closes and it’s just you and him, he stares at you, chest heaving, his hair wet from his sweat, but he still looks breathtaking.

“Harry—“

“I’m gonna kiss you now,” he cuts you off, your breath gets caught in your throat as you stare back at him, completely frozen. Opposite to what he just said, he remains standing in the same spot and you’re not sure what’s happening. “Can I? Please say yes, I can’t hold myself back for any longer,” he then adds.

“Yes,” you breathe out without even thinking about it. In a heartbeat, Harry crosses the room, chest smashing against yours as he wraps his arms around you, lips crashing onto yours in a kiss that almost makes you moan into his mouth.

It’s all a hot mess, teeth clashing, hands all over each other before his palms run down to the back of your thighs, urging you to jump. When you do, you wrap your legs around his waist and let him walk over to the table nearby, so he can place you on top, standing between your thighs as he keeps kissing you hungrily, his tongue melting together with yours in this sweet chaos. It keeps going on and on, neither of you wanting to let go of the other, but you are eventually forced to stop, coming short of air. Panting wildly, lips swollen from his kisses, you look at him to meet his gaze.

“You have no idea how hard it was to stop myself from kissing you on stage.”

“What?” you breathe out.

“Y/N, I’m fucking crazy about you and seeing you come over your stage fright, sing that song… our song, fuck, that did some unbelievable things to me. Please tell me you felt the same thing!” He is begging, not just with his words, but with his eyes as well and it crushes your soul entirely.

“I did. Harry, I always do when I’m with you.”

“Fucking Hell,” he breathes out before kissing you again. “You are… everything, Love,” he mumbles against your lips and you can’t push down the smile stretching across your face, hearing him say the same words he said right after the song.

“You’ve told me that,” you tease him, his gaze meeting yours as he flashes you his famous half-smirk, heart fluttering at the sight of him.

[sinceileftyoublog]

30 (Technically 34) Albums We Loved That Happened To Come Out in 2020

So much has already been said and written about this cursed past year, but a few good things came out of it, including the music. Album-wise, like many before it and many to come, it was an embarrassment of riches. But even with so much time on our hands to devour new tunes, it was often old favorites, songs of comfort or familiarity that garnered the heaviest rotation. For many artists, too, it was a year ripe for revisiting or reissues of old material, looking at existing songs with fresh and new perspectives. Simply put, with so much to listen to, new and old, the prospect of ranking a finite number of albums felt not only daunting, but frankly a bit stupid. Maybe we were late to the game, but 2020 taught us that music should and can be appreciated in multiple contexts, not limited to but including when it first came out and when it was heard again and again, even if years later. The records below--listed in alphabetical order--happened to be released in some form in 2020, whether never-before-heard or heard before but in a different format. And the only thing I know is that we’ll be listening to them in 2021 and beyond.

Autechre - SIGN & PLUS (Warp)

The legendary British electronic music duo surprise released SIGN a mere month and a half after its announcement and then PLUS 12 days later. The former was a beatific collection of soundscapes that belied the band’s usual harsh noise, while PLUS embraced that noise right back, drawing you in with the clattering chaotic burbles of opener “DekDre Scap B” and lurching forward. -Jordan Mainzer

Against All Logic - 2017-2019 (Other People)

The perennially chill ambient house artist Nicolas Jaar had a busy 2020, as usual, releasing two albums under his name, Cenizas and Telas. But it was 2017-2019, the follow-up to the debut album from his Against All Logic moniker, that came first and throughout the year helped to illustrate Jaar’s penchant for combining inspired samples with club beats and tape hiss. Take the way the lovelorn vocals of “Fantasy” or soulful coos of “If Loving You Is Wrong” war skittering, scratchy percussion and cool arpeggios, respectively: Jaar is coming into his own as a masterful producer almost a decade after he released his first full-length. Oh, and bonus points for including none other than Lydia Lunch on a banger so blunt it would make Death Grips blush. - JM

Bartees Strange - Live Forever (Memory Music)

Like many, my introduction to Bartees Strange was through Say Goodbye to Pretty Boy, his EP of The National covers. Creativity and shifting perspectives shine through each song’s reimaging, like flipping the coarse, almost manic “Mr. November” into something softer, more meditative. It felt like a mere peek into what was to come on Live Forever. Bartees Strange is a world-builder. Each track on his debut unfolds and welcomes you to a wildly engaging tableau, a fully constructed vision. “Jealousy” opens with soft vocals and birdsong. “In a Cab” is the slick soundtrack to racing through a cityscape in the rain, seeing the blurred lights of the high-rises above as you pass by. “Kelly Rowland” warps wistful pop song feelings. “Flagey God” takes you into a dark, pulsing club while only a few songs later, “Fallen For You” wraps you in echoed vocals and romantic, raw acoustic guitar.

It’s an accomplishment to craft an album of individual songs that stand strongly on their own but still feel cohesive. 2020 wasn’t all bad. It gave us Live Forever, a declaration of an artist’s arrival. - Lauren Lederman

Charli XCX - how i’m feeling now (Atlantic)

Back in the spring, many of us wondered who would put out something great in 2020’s quarantine. It was hard to imagine that the intensity of a global pandemic would really allow for artists to embrace creativity. That thought carries the same eye-roll inducing feeling of “We’ll get some great punk music out of a Trump presidency,” but of course, Charli XCX delivered. Through live workshops with fans and longstanding collaborators, she delivered songs to dance alone to in your bubble. Charli embraces the unknown of the moment but clutches onto what’s familiar. Under the glitch-pop veneer of the album, she digs into the anxieties of not just this moment of time but of the bigger questions we all confront: trajectories of relationships with friends, romantic partners, ourselves. Album standouts “forever” and “i finally understand” embrace that feeling of both looking for control and accepting the lack of it. Charli is a master at balancing this. - LL

Christine and the Queens - La Vita Nuova (Because Music)

Named after a Latin text by Dante Alighieri about missing a woman who has died, Chris’ La Vita Nuova is not about mourning a death but instead about loneliness and isolation, post-relationship or otherwise. It doesn’t bang quite like her previous two albums, but it hits harder than ever.

Read our full review here.

Dogleg - Melee (Triple Crown)

Released on March 13th, right as the COVID-19 pandemic hit, Melee was supposed to be supported by three cancelled tours–SXSW, an opening slot for Microwave, and an opening slot for Joyce Manor–and an appearance at this year’s cancelled Pitchfork Music Festival. Listening to the songs on the record, you can only imagine how they translate: the jerky momentum of “Bueno”, build-up of “Prom Hell”, gang vocals of “Fox”, clear-vocal anthem of “Wrist”, and odd groove of “Ender”.

Read “Buckle Up, Motherfucker”, our interview with Dogleg.

Dua Lipa - Future Nostalgia & Dua Lipa/The Blessed Madonna: Club Future Nostalgia (Warner)

Where Dua Lipa’s much-anticipated second album Future Nostalgia succeeded was in its disco anthems and retro, club-ready beats, so who better to bring out the best of the record than The Blessed Madonna? The turntablist masterfully curates a mix of heavy hitters of the charts and the underground that not only offers an essential complement to Future Nostalgia but transcends it. Sending the tracks out to various producers and singers for features and then adding her own samples on top, she invites you to peel back the layers, enter a YouTube rabbit hole of sample searching as much as bopping along.

Read our full review here.

Emma Ruth Rundle & Thou - May Our Chambers Be Full (Sacred Bones)

Roadburn Festival has long been on my bucket list, and since the pandemic showed me how much live music can be taken away in a flash, when it’s safe again to travel and go to a festival, I may just pull the trigger and go--especially considering it’s the springboard for such fruitful and inspired collaborations as the one between Louisville singer-songwriter Emma Ruth Rundle and Baton Rouge sludge dwellers Thou. Rundle embraces the heavier opportunities on the follow-up to her incredible 2018 record On Dark Horses with the ever-flexible Thou backing her up vocally and instrumentally. Slow-burning opener “Killing Floor” offers a familiar introduction to fans of both--sort of what a Rundle/Thou song would sound like--before grunge chugger “Monolith” introduces huge, catchy riffs and “Out of Existence” a True Widow-esque dirge, newfound inspirations for both artists bringing the best out of each other. - JM

Fiona Apple - Fetch the Bolt Cutters (Epic)

What makes Fetch the Bolt Cutters stand out among Apple’s catalog and music in general is the clarity with which Apple seethes at those who have wronged her, whether ex-boyfriends or patriarchal oppressors, and looks to her relationships with other women for peace of mind.

Read our full review here.

HAIM - Women in Music Pt. III (Columbia)

For HAIM, the title Women in Music Pt. III is suggestive that, more than their previous two records, their third centers around the experiences of being an all-female band in a historically white cis male-dominated scene, at least one that wouldn’t call catchy riffs written by a man “simple” or call attention to the faces a man makes while playing. What it doesn’t let on to is how deeply personal the record is, how, by unabashedly embracing genres and styles of music that they love, HAIM have made far and away their best album. Co-produced by the usual suspects, Danielle Haim, Ariel Rechtshaid, and ex-Vampire Weekender Rostam Batmanglij, it’s instrumentally and aesthetically dynamic and diverse, consistently earnest without devolving into cheese.

Read our full review here.

Irreversible Entanglements - Who Sent You? (International Anthem)

I’ve been captivated by Irreversible Entanglements ever since I first saw them at Pitchfork Music Festival 2018. The radical poetry of Camae Ayewa (aka Moor Mother) is the perfect front for a ramshackle mix of Luke Stewart’s spidery bass, Tcheser Holmes’ weighty drums, and a horn section that concocts tones that range from hopeful to desperate. At their best, Who Sent You? is a shining example of celebratory Afrofuturism and metaphysics that makes the urgency of Ayewa’s more concrete and political words all the more necessary. “No Más”, composed by Panamanian-born trumpeter Aquiles Navarro, is a declaration against imperialist oppression, while the stunning title track flips the switch like a Kara Walker painting, as Ayewa’s the one interrogating the police officer terrorizing her community. “Who sent you?” she repeats, never spiraling, grabbing a hold of the power and never letting go. - JM

Jeff Parker - Suite for Max Brown (International Anthem/Nonesuch)

It’s Jeff Parker’s mom’s turn. After 2016′s The New Breed ended up being a tribute to the guitarist’s father, who passed away during the making of it, Parker decided to pay tribute to Maxine while she was still alive. Suite for Max Brown (Brown is his mother’s maiden name; Max is what people call her) is a genre-bending collection of tracks inspired by Parker’s DJing, juxtapositions of sequenced beats with improvisation that certainly sound like the brainchild of one individual. Indeed, Parker plays the majority of the instruments on it and engineered most of it at home or during his 2018 Headlands Center residency in Sausalito, CA; though all of the players and the vocalist (Jeff’s daughter Ruby Parker) on The New Breed show up, plus a couple trumpeters (piccolo player Rob Mazurek and Nate Walcott of Bright Eyes) and cellist Katinka Kleijn, Suite for Max Brown is a distinctly Jeff Parker record.

Read our preview of Jeff Parker & The New Breed’s set at Dorian’s last year.

Jeff Rosenstock - NO DREAM (Polyvinyl)

Jeff Rosenstock throws us right into the spinning, manic energy of NO DREAM, his latest release from a seemingly endless well of music that never lacks urgency. It’s a reminder that though it’s been a strange year, the issues Rosenstock tackles here aren’t new. There’s no interest in making you feel comfortable here. On the album’s title track, Rosenstock sings, lulling you into a false sense of security, “They were separating families carelessly / Under the guise of protecting you and me.” But reality sets in, and the hazy guitars spin out as he spits, “It’s not a dream!” and, “Fuck violence!”

My image of Jeff Rosenstock in the year 2020 is masked up with “Black Lives Matter” scrawled across the fabric of his mask in Sharpie, performing album highlight “Scram!” on Late Night with Seth Meyers as high energy as ever. It felt like watching someone send out a beacon, both a distress signal and a call to arms. - LL

Jessie Ware - What’s Your Pleasure? (PMR/Friends Keep Secrets/Interscope)

I am not someone who goes to clubs. I don’t “go out dancing,” preferring to let loose in the privacy of my own home or a trusted friend’s house party. But Jessie Ware’s What’s Your Pleasure? makes me think I could embrace a night out like that, once the world opens up again, of course. The album is filled with syncopated disco beats that feel fresh and classic all at once. The abundant horns and strings on “Step Into My Life” are decadent, like light bouncing off sequins in a dark room. Ware’s voice is slinky and velvety one moment, windswept like her album cover the next. It’s songs like “Save a Kiss” that embrace both, allowing her to show off her range. - LL

Laura Marling - Song for Our Daughter (Partisan)

With sparse production, mostly from her but with additions from Ethan Johns and Dom Monks, Marling foregoes the comparative maximalism of the Blake Mills-produced Semper Femina, her last proper full-length, and 2018′s LUMP collaboration. The songs aren’t simple, but they’re succinct, and every element, from Marling’s finger-picked guitars, the occasional slide guitar, and that unmistakably calm voice, sometimes alone and sometimes layered, fits. It’s her most universal set of songs yet, centering around the times when we’re apart from one another but reflecting on when we were together and when we might be together again, with no guarantees.

Read the rest of our review here.

Les Amazones d’Afrique - Amazones Power (Real World Records)

The groovy pan-African collective expands upon their debut Republique Amazone and then some with Amazones Power, a tour-de-force statement of female empowerment in the face of oppression against women throughout the African diaspora. Indeed, the album is more than just songs boldly decrying FGM, though those demands ring heavily. Instead, the group goes further, delving into gender power structures in marriage on “Queens” and selectively finding strength in tradition on “Dreams”. And this time, they include men to stand alongside with them. “Together we must stand / Together we must end this,” sings Guinean musician/dancer/artist Niariu on opener “Heavy” in solidarity with features Douranne (Boy) Fall and Magueye Diouk (Jon Grace) of Paris band Nyoko Bokbae. But perhaps it’s her kiss-off on “Smile” that hits hardest: “I shut up for no one.” - JM

Lianne La Havas - Lianne La Havas (Nonesuch)

The British singer-songwriter’s much anticipated follow-up to 2015′s Blood was better than I could have ever imagined. A song cycle about life cycles--of nature, of lives, of a relationship--inspired by an actual breakup, Lianne La Havas is a contemporary neo soul masterpiece. Overview opener “Bittersweet” is an instant earworm, La Havas’ coo-turned-belt filling the space between classic and increasingly emotive slabs of piano and guitar. Funky, lovestruck strut “Read My Mind” is the soundtrack for the unbridled confidence of finding new love. Yes, the doubts begin to sow on the fingerpicked melancholy of “Green Papaya” and “Can’t Fight”, and where the album goes from a simple narrative perspective may be predictable: They break up, they don’t get back together, La Havas enjoys her independence. But the depth of the arrangements and assuredness of La Havas’ singing is a product of an artist starting to really show us what she can do. And how many people can pull off a Radiohead cover like that? - JM

Lomelda - Hannah (Double Double Whammy)

What does it mean to title an album after yourself? Lomelda’s latest album is centered around discovering more about yourself while not always having the answers. Despite the lyrical content, the album is self-assured. Hannah Read’s voice feels as steady as ever as it navigates these twisting questions, like the way the world can shift after a kiss. She finds power in softness and reflection throughout the album, like when she explores the mantra-like words of “Wonder” or through a reminder to do no harm in “Hannah Sun”. In a year that allowed for perhaps more reflection than usual, Hannah makes space for the questions that arise out of figuring yourself out, of making sense of the messiness of it all, wrapped in warm guitar, balanced vocals, and steady drums. - LL

Moses Sumney - Grae (Jagjaguwar)

“Am I vital / If my heart is idle? / Am I doomed?” Moses Sumney famously sang on his stunning 2017 debut Aromanticism, an album that saw him developing his acceptance of being alone. grae, his two-part 2nd full-length, and his first since officially moving from L.A. to the Appalachian Mountains of Asheville, North Carolina, doubles down on themes of heartbreak, but instead of being sure in his seclusion, he embraces the unknown. The album teeters between interludes of platitudes about isolation and ruminations on failed human connection, and maximally arranged clutches of uncertainty. “When my mind’s clouded and filled with doubt / That’s when I feel the most alive,” Sumney coos over horns and piano on slinky soul song “Cut Me”; it’s an effective mantra for the album.

Read the rest of our review here.

Norah Jones - Pick Me Up Off The Floor (Blue Note)

At the time we previewed Norah Jones’ 7th studio album, she had only released a few tracks from it. Turns out the rest was just as powerful. From the blues stomp of “Flame Twin” to the rolling piano stylings of “Hurts to Be Alone”, Pick Me Up Off The Floor is an album full of jazzy orchestrations and soul and gospel-indebted arrangements, Jones’ silky, yearning voice tying together the simple, yet lush and deep instrumentation. And that other Tweedy feature, that closes the album? It’s a heartbreaking portrait of loneliness, one of many on a record that still manages to celebrate being alive all the while. - JM

Phoebe Bridgers - Punisher (Dead Oceans)

Phoebe Bridgers is a master of details. Her lyrics shine when they get specific. They range from the mundane to morbid: A superfan’s ghost-like wandering under a drugstore’s fluorescent lights, a skinhead likely buried under a blooming garden, reckoning with the you in “Moon Song”’s lines, “You are sick, and you’re married / And you might be dying.” Bridgers has always been able to set a scene meticulously, and Punisher arrived with 11 songs that expanded that skill, both lyrically and musically, with her dark humor intact and a fuller sound that includes her boygenuis collaborators’ harmonies. - LL

PJ Harvey - To Bring You My Love: The Demos & Dry - The Demos (Island)

Yes, revisiting Dry’s demos as a separate entity is still worthwhile. Harvey’s powerhouse vocal performance carries the acoustic strummed “Oh My Lover”, while the comparatively minimal arrangement of “Victory” highlights bluesy riffing, call-and-response harmonies, and layered guitar and vocals. The singles, the slinky and sharp “Dress” and propulsive anthem “Sheela-Na-Gig”, hold up to their ultimate studio versions, too. But it’s the To Bring You My Love material that provides novelty because it’s never been released and more so because it encompasses the greatest aesthetic contrast from the album. From the warbling hues and guitar lines of the title track to the tremolo haze of “Teclo” to the crisp snares of “Working With The Man”, the demos show a continuity and level of cohesiveness with the diversity of Dry and Rid of Me not shown on the studio version of Harvey’s more accessible commercial breakout. (Predictably, the album’s most well-known song, “Down by the Water”, is the closest to its eventual version.) “Long Snake Moan” is simultaneously more spacious and more noisy, its garage blues a total contrast to the lurking “I Think I’m A Mother” and swaying shanty “Send His Love To Me”. And “The Dancer” fully embraces its flamenco influences, hand claps and all.

Porridge Radio - Every Bad (Secretly Canadian)

Is there a better opening line than “I’m bored to death, let’s argue”? That kind of duality is found across all of Every Bad as it grapples with the frustrations and anxiety of trying to figure it all out, whatever that might mean for you. “Maybe I was born confused, but I’m not,” vocalist Dana Margolin repeats throughout the opening track, roping in listeners with the dizzying feeling of trying to make sense of yourself. The band’s guitar and synth sound coupled with Margolin’s howl makes for a dance party filled with dread, rendering Margolin’s already strong, repetitive lyrics even more spiraling. And yet, by the time we get to “Lilacs”, a glimmer of something else shines through as the music gets more manic and Margolin’s voice begins to soar: “I don’t want to get bitter / I want us to get better / I want us to be kinder / To ourselves and to each other.” - LL

Sault - Untitled (Rise) & Untitled (Black Is) (Forever Living Originals)

Yes, Black Is still pulls plenty of devastating punches. “Eternal Life”, a segue from the gospel boost of “US”, juxtaposes a deliberate drum beat with zooming synths, both ascending like a chorus of angels, as they sing, “I see sadness in your eye / ‘Cause I know you don’t wanna die,” presenting the oppression of Black life at the hands of white supremacy in inarguable terms. Ultimately, though, it’s the anthemic nature of the songs, resistant of platitudes, that shines through. “Nobody cared / This generation cares,” says Laurette Josiah on “This Generation”. Whether she’s talking about young people in general or the latest generation of young Black leaders, the sentiment is reflected on songs like “Black”, wherein over dynamic, sinewy instrumentation, the singers alternate between encouragement, support, and love of the self and others.

Read our full review here.

Shamir - Shamir (self-released)

Shamir’s voice is a bright beacon in a sea of conventional singers. Shamir captures the effervescence of pop music and weaves it together with elements of country, alt rock, and diary confessional lyrics all supported by the emotion and range of his vocals. There’s something for everyone across the album’s 11 shimmering tracks. Lead single and opener “On My Own” feels like a declaration of self and self-sufficiency, an anthem of a breakup song. The almost pop-punk bounce of “Pretty When I’m Sad”, paired perfectly with lines like the angst-ridden, “Let’s fuck around inside each other’s heads,” feels impossible to not bop along to. The twang of “Other Side” would put a country crooner to shame. That’s the power of Shamir. His voice has the ability to smoothly convey joy, resilience, and humor. He uses elements of several genres, not just the dance-pop of his debut, to build a unique album that gives listeners so much to sift through and, of course, dance to. - LL

Songhoy Blues - Optimisme (Fat Possum)

If Songhoy Blues’ second album Resistance lacked “the grit of its predecessor,” it’s clear from the hard rock stomp of the opening track of Malian band’s third album Optimisme that they rediscovered their mojo. More importantly, they couple this maximal brashness with tributes to those who make their world a better place: fighters for freedom, women, the young. It’s perhaps the first Songhoy Blues record to truly combine the celebratory nature of their desert blues with a balanced mixture of idealism and vigor. - JM

Spanish Love Songs - Brave Faces Everyone (Pure Noise)  

How can you find hope in hopelessness, or optimism when every news story points to cruelty? Is it naïve to keep searching for light in the dark? I don’t think so, and I don’t think Spanish Love Songs does, either. I’d like to think we both believe that’s not naivety, but power. It’s the embers you need to really ignite a flame. After all, this is the band with a song titled “Optimism (As a Radical Life Choice)”. It’s a band whose crunching guitars and earnestness insist that despite death and depression and addiction, the instinct to survive shines brightly above all. That relentless hope resurfaces across Brave Faces Everyone’s 10 tracks even as it works through the bleakness of everyday life. - LL

Tashi Dorji - Stateless (Drag City)

The magnum opus from the Asheville-based picker is a group of evocatively titled, disorderly songs about the desolate hellscape of America for outsiders and immigrants. Enigmatic in its nature, not exactly narrative, Stateless combines Dorji’s urgent strumming with moody motifs, captured beautifully in a studio setting for maximum emotional wallop. - JM

Touche Amore - Lament (Epitaph)

Is this what an almost uplifting Touche Amore album sounds like? It’s cathartic in a newer way for the band, especially after the beautifully rendered grief of Stage Four. Lament loses none of the band’s aggression or urgency. “Come Heroine” thrusts listeners into that urgency and introduces a moment of warmth, Jeremy Bolm’s vocals still rasping and insistent: “You brought me in / You took to me / And reversed the atrophy.” The bounciness of “Reminders” may seem close to optimism, but a sharper look at the lyrics uncovers more than blindly looking to the things that bring joy. “I’ll Be Your Host” is reflective, a few years removed from Touche Amore’s previous album and the immediacy of loss, self-aware and growing, but still raw. The album closer, “A Forecast”, takes a turn, a lone voice and piano acting as a confessional before giving way to thrashing guitars and the realization that growth and reckoning with trauma doesn’t mean minimizing it. It means learning to keep moving forward and to stop for help when you may need it. - LL

Waxahatchee - Saint Cloud (Merge)

The best album yet from Katie Crutchfield is inspired by positive personal change (getting sober, dealing with codependency issues, her blossoming love with singer-songwriter Kevin Morby) and reflections on family and friends. Named after the suburb of Orlando where her father’s from, Saint Cloud is a genre-hopping collection of stories and feelings that doesn’t necessarily follow any semblance of narrative. On opener “Oxbow” and country-tinged ditty “Can’t Do Much”, Crutchfield’s increasingly aware of the need to pick your side and your battles, whether in the relationship between two people or between the allure of the bottle and the next-day hangover. Some of the best songs on the album see her finding commonalities with others as a means towards self-love. Gentle strummer “The Eye” refers to her natural creative relationships with Morby and her sister Allison. “War” she wrote for herself and best friend, who is also sober, the title a metaphor for one’s fight to remain substance-free. “Witches” is an ode to her best friends, including Allison and Snail Mail’s Lindsey Jordan, all equally frustrated by the toxic nature of the music industry and the world at large, ultimately lifting each other up because they simply have each other.

Read our full review here.

[baebywendy]

Favorite Albums of 2020

After Hours - The Weeknd

After hours is hands down my favorite album that came out in 2020. Nothing could top the masterpiece that this album is or can even try in my eyes. This album from start to finish tells a story about what I saw to be his downfall in love and the toxicity around him and within him. Not only did this story captures you with lyrics but visually in his music videos. The Weeknd has this touch within all his albums that tells a chapter of his life and this album is no different. With the retro trend coming in full force, The Weeknd had one of the best retro albums this year and not only that; the best album. This album showed his voice and the melancholy tone that he can produce is beautiful and pulls you in for the wild ride that is After Hours. Grammys can’t see.

Favorite tracks: Heartless and In Your Eyes

Ungodly Hour- Chloe x Halle

Ungodly Hour has one of the best vocal performance in a album that came out in 2020. Ungodly Hour touches on the topics of sex, cheating and making drunk mistakes that most young adults can relate to. The tracks of the song touches on being with someone and doing not so nice things to them with a beautiful melody that makes you not notice the bad things they’re saying. The album is the equivalent to driving to the beach to watch the sun set, it’s such a easy to listen to album that anyone could have it playing in the background. It shows two sides to a female in as relationship they can be loving but once you do them wrong they will make sure everyone knows the kind of person they are. Ungodly Hour is truly heavenly.

Favorite tracks: Wonder What She Thinks of Me and Busy Boy

Love goes - Sam Smith

Love Goes is the ending of a relationship and the confusions you feel when your alone for the first time. This album does a deep dive in relationships from cheating to someones own insecurities being in a relationship. Something that most can relate to, finding someone and wanting to be with them without complications is something that most crave for. Having the fear that one day that person that you are in love with can leave is something heartbreaking but also creates fear of being in love fully. This album shows the melancholy of relationships but unlike other songs that have a happy beat to make a playful songs in an album, the instrumentals showcases the sadness and loneliness that one feels. Love goes is something that we all experience and sometimes the best thing you can do is watch it go.

Favorite tracks: To Die For and My Oasis (feat. Burna Boy)

Good News - Megan thee stallion

Good News was indeed good news to me when I saw it dropping and the first album that isn’t so melancholy on this list. This album touches on topics that Megan went through this year such as body confidence and as well the public attacking her. The album teaches people to be the baddest bitch in the game and to gain confidence that most may not have. This album is unapologetic confident and loving yourself. Instead of using ballads of expressing self love, the album demands the confidence to flow through them and let everyone know that they’re word will not change them. It also touches on the topic of sex, showing females can be comfortable with their sexual needs and experiences. Good News is the embodiment of confidence and being comfortable in your own skin, something we all can learn from.

Favorite tracks: Body and circles

Future Nostalgia - Dua Lipa

Future Nostalgia takes the nostalgia to the next level with the retro inspiration and as well as the Madonna touches through the album. It makes you feel like your in another decade but somehow it still gives you nostalgia of the past at the same time. The album is a good feeling album and makes you want to dance with your friends with the disco ball above you. This album is one of the best retro albums that came out this year and it wasn’t something I expected for the next step in Dua Lipa’s career but it was a good step. Within this album, Dua Lipa’s voice takes center stage and fits the retro tune so well that it feels like she’s found her tune. Future Nostalgia makes you feel like your in the future but with the past in your back pocket.

Favorite Tracks: Physical and Break my Heart

Rare - Selena Gomez

Rare is the self love and worth with melancholy beats but as well as a happy beat making the sadness into a playful tune. It showcases what a person needs to do in order to fully love themselves and makes it known the hardships was just another push to become happy. The album touches on self worth and no matter what the person that you want to be with needs to treat you right because anyone can say I love you but do they mean it. It was Selena’s long awaiting album after five years of her last album but its a beautiful set of songs that showcases her progress as a person. Rare is truly rare when you realize how beautiful you are inside and out.

Favorite Tracks: Rare and Look At Her Now

Confetti - Little Mix

Confetti was the celebration of finally being free from control that somehow turned into a heartbreak in a matter of seconds. The thought that this is the last album that will have four voices harmonizing hurts especially when you been there since the beginning. This album continues Little Mix’s theme of female empowerment, break ups and sisterhood. Little Mix has this talent that they are a group with four strong voices but none of them outshines each other but at the same time they allow each other shine with high notes. This group means a lot to me and without them I wouldn’t have the confidence that I have now. Little Mix created songs that even though sadness happened there will always be a celebration afterwards. Confetti is what you will see when the tears are finally gone and always remember that mental health is the most important thing and take care of it.

Favorite tracks: My Love Won’t Let You Down and Sweet Melody

All About Luv - MonstaX

All About Luv is a cute collection of love songs ( hence the title and the day it was released ) that makes you giddy and warm on the inside. The album touches on all of the spectrum of what love is physical, emotionally, and mentally. It shows the love between two people and how beautiful that love is between them but at the same time it touches on the topic of wanting to be in love. Two ends of the spectrum but somehow it doesn’t feel out of place on the album but tells the story of love. This album could’ve been in Korean and I would still feel the same about it. Having the album fully in English was something I wasn’t expecting but it didn’t bother me because the collection was just that good. All About Luv makes you feel giddy about falling in love again or thinking of being in love with someone.

Favorite tracks: She’s the one and Someone’s Someone

Breath of Love: Last Piece - Got7

Breath of Love: Last Piece was a long awaiting album where JYP didn’t touch and Got7 had full control of it and boy did it pay off. I honestly think this is Got7’s best album and the fact they had creative control say in shows how talented they are. The album itself has a refreshing listen to and it’s different then most of the songs that came out in Kpop during this period making them stand out to me. The first song Breath was the most refreshing song we could’ve gotten this year and it showcased the vocals that got7 has. Last piece was something that was different for Got7 and its something that fits them so well as well. I hope Got7 will be able to continue this and make more songs for their albums, the songs that they made were so good. This album made others who weren’t in Got7’s fandom see the vocal talent and the dances that they do are beautiful. It feels good that they got the recognition for their talents instead of being just funny. Breath of Love: Last Piece is Got7’s best album and its the start of Got7 having creative choices for their albums in the future.

Favorite tracks: I Mean It and Born Ready

Maria - Hwasa

Maria is Hwasa’s first EP and the collection of songs are showing her struggles and what she tells herself through these hardships. This EP is one of the most beautiful things I have heard in awhile, it made me cry and it made me understand Hwasa a little more through it. Maria is the first song and its actually her baptismal name making the song already very personal to her. If you listen to the song itself and not look into the lyrics and the meaning then the song sounds like a very well crafted Kpop song. However, when you read the lyrics does it change that. “Maria, Maria I’m saying this for you. It’s a shining night, don’t torture yourself. Oh Maria, I’m saying this for you. Why are you trying so hard, you’re already beautiful.” The whole song is her trying to convince herself that everything is okay and to not listen to the people that want to send hate. The song shows the darkness of being in the limelight but it shows her taking control of It towards the end of the song. The rest of the songs on the EP expressing things that Hwasa been through and it makes her fans more connected to her. Maria is a beautiful collection that shows the struggles of being in the limelight and how you can take control to make yourself happy.

Favorite tracks: Maria and LMM

Honorable mentions:

Monster - Irene and Seulgi

1 billion Viewa - Exo-SC

Dystopia: the tree of language - Dreamcatcher

Self-Portrait - Suho

EP 9 - Qveen Herby

DYE - Got7

Chilombo - Jhene Aiko

[thisisyourdriverspeaking]

I was tagged by @formulola  (love you Lola ❤❤) to answer 30 questions and then tag 20 blogs so let’s go: 👌

1. Name/nickname: Rosie

2. Gender: Female

3. Star sign: Cancer ♋

4. Height: 170 cm (5'7)

5. Time: 10.23am

6. Birthday: 16th July

7. Favorite band/group: Keane

8. Favorite solo artist: Dua Lipa (tbh I listen to everything)

9. Song stuck in your head: 5SOS - No Shame. Heard it when I went to get groceries yesterday & can't stop singing it

10. Last movie: James Bond - Skyfall. Nothing else on tv so I watched that & really enjoyed it

11. Last show: Gavin & Stacey. All of it was replayed over christmas/new year

12. When did I create this blog: 2016 but didn't start using it fully until 2019

13. What do I post: F1 (lets face it mainly George), F2/F3, forests & cats

14. Last thing I googled: How to find out if someones blocked you on tumblr 😂

15. Other blogs: None. I ain't organised enough to have more than one

16. Do I get asks: Sometimes, usually when I'm doing an ask game tbf 😂

17. Why I chose my url: George is my fave & scuffle rhymes

18. Following: 559

19. Follower: 816 (that's mad!)

20. Average hours of sleep: 6-8h

21. Lucky number: 16

22. Instrument: None

23. What am I wearing: Jeans & a fluffy jumper. It's bloody chilly this morning 😂

24. Dream job: To own & work in my own bookshop

25. Dream trip: Austria, Switzerland, Japan, New Zealand (there's many I have on the list 👌)

26. Favorite food: Pizza & Chinese

27. Nationality: British

28. Favorite song: Right now it's Bebe Rexha & Doja Cat - Baby I'm Jealous

29. Last book I read: Neil Ansell - The Last Wilderness

30. Top three fictional worlds: Harry Potter, the toyshop from Robert Dinsdale's 'The Toymakers' (can only think of these two)

I tag @christian-lundgaard @fabioquartararhoe @widdajan @fittilance @georgerus63 @jurivips @youreamonocoque @gp2engine @snowyshadow @charleseclair @callumilott @nicholance @gyzhou-s @ricciardosf1 @formulahigh @landoaitken @alexanderalbon

(Feel free to ignore this if you don't want/have already done it 😊)

[shanethvarosa]

Music Review: 2020

My blog has been a lot of things over the years, but it did originate as something I used to publicly review music; especially in the Visual Kei scene. Since I began the blog so many years ago, I had actually been hired to review Visual Kei and J-Rock music for an actual website: VKH-Press.com, work I am very, very proud of to this day. However, with not much news to comment on or work to critique, I haven’t been as active. Plus, personal issues always seem to stand in my way. However, I always take the time to discuss my passions at the end of the year. There were so many incredible releases, despite the COVID-19 pandemic, and so I wanted to take the time time to discuss my favorite releases and, maybe, the not-so-favorites as well. Quick shout out to Bastille’s Goosebumps EP and Megan Thee Stallion’s Good News LP as I did not get to listen to them before I wrote up my lists, but were still excellent releases. See my thoughts below! 

Overall, there were about 75 albums or groupings of albums I listened to this year and split them between various tiers. Starting with the bad tier, there were actually only ten albums listed here and mostly just because they were seemingly unnecessary collection albums. For example, another Satsuki collection? Rides in ReVellion releasing two greatest hits LPs after only five years of work? Beyonce releasing The Lion King: The Gift again? None of those felt like necessary releases. There weren’t many albums that really screamed bad to me this year, but I really could not stand Vanessa Carlton’s “Love is an Art” or Justin Bieber’s “Changes.” The only other albums on this tier were just underwhelming compared to what I know the artist is capable of, but the “best bad tier album,” in my view, was The 1975′s “Notes on a Conditional Form.” 

The mid-tier albums had all sorts of reasons for being only mid-tier. They weren’t quite bad or outright unnecessary, but are mostly by artists who put out work that was nowhere near the caliber of their usual work or were re-releases or other collection albums. For example, Tove Lo’s “Sunshine Kitty: Pawprint Edition” or Man With A Mission’s remixes/b-sides/covers albums. Nice to have with good quality music, but I wish we’d just have had brand new EPs or LPs. 

The good-tier albums were all really excellent releases, but didn’t hit home the way anything on the “God-Tier” list did. Here, I’d like to share a quick top ten: 

10. Taeyeon’s “Purpose: Repackage” & Japanese EP, “#GirlsSpkOut” 9. Charli XCX’s “How I’m Feeling Now” 8. Miyavi’s “Holy Nights” & “Holy Nights: 2020 Lockdown” 7. TK’s “Sainou” 6. PVRIS’s “Use Me” 5. Buck-Tick’s “Abracadabra” 4. Katy Perry’s “Smile” 3. Alicia Keys’ “Alicia” 2. Dua Lipa’s “Future Nostalgia” & “Club Future Nostalgia” 1. Ava Max’s “Heaven & Hell

Without furhter ado, though, the God Tier Top 25: 

25. Acme’s We Are Visual Kei: Essentially a collection album of several songs that were b-sides that never made a full-blown album. This LP was loaded with some of Acme’s best work and shows that they are going to be here for a long time, despite Div not quite working out. Recommended tracks: Mononoke Requiem, Gekiyama Celluloid, Houkago no Shiiku 

24. Alanis Morisette’s Such Pretty Forks in the Road: Admittedly, a huge fan in the 90′s and loved her cover of Seal’s Crazy. However, before this album I didn’t really listen to much of her body of work and I can see why today’s youth might not listen to this album. It is very “adult” insofar as it deals with her struggles in marriage, parenting, religion, etc. Her vocal performance is exceptional and her song writing remains some of the best in the business. Recommended tracks: Smiling, Nemesis, Reasons I Drink. 

23. Niall Horan’s Heartbreak Weather: Not my usual cup of tea, but for some reason Niall’s music makes me feel softer than normal. He’s very cute and charming and his words are always so romantic. It feels more genuine than the music made by other members of One Direction and kind-of reminds me of earlier Taylor Swift writing, but from a male perspective. Recommended Tracks: Put A Little Love On Me, Arms of a Stranger, Still. 

22. K/DA’s All Out: I don’t even really understand what this is, but I love it. There’s something to do with League of Legends? Cartoons? International pop stars? Whatever it is, I’m totally obsessed. These songs just completely slap. Recommended Tracks: The Baddest, More, Drum Go Dum. 

21. Darrell’s Brilliant Death: This might even “officially” be a single, but there’s enough content to market it as an album. Darrell is a band formed from the ashes of Deathgaze and Ai’s solo project. Who knows why Ai didn’t just continue after his solo album, Confusion, but he decided to go back to the band-format with confusingly-named Darrell. This album is then, incidentally, mostly Deathgaze covers. It brings the production into the new era and gives you a lot of nostalgic love for old hits. Recommended Tracks: Brilliant Death, Evoke the World, Abyss. 

20. Alice Nine’s Fuyajou Eden & Kuro to Wonderland: Neither album was particularly long, in fact these were glorified EPs that could’ve been merged to one two-sided LP, but in either case... Both albums had something really special to offer and felt like a true comeback after years of name changes and finally going back to their original, kanji-styled name. Recommended Tracks: Kakumei Kaika -Revolutionary Blooming-, Testament, Replica, Glow. 

19. Mucc’s Aku: This album felt very long in the making after a series of weird singles that didn’t feel like they were going anywhere. Ultimately, a lot of those singles did not make the album including my favorite one: Taboo. The resulting album, though, did feel very cohesive and thematic and even featured one of this year’s heavy hitters: Hazuki. Recommended Tracks: Aku -Justice-, Memai, Ameria. 

18. Miley Cyrus’s Plastic Hearts: This person is absolutely one of my favorite people in music. I’m pretty sure they have comeout as genderfluid/non-binary, so I want to stick with safe pronouns, just in case. However, they’ve always been a favorite and as they’ve come out as such a champion for the LGBT, I love them even more. The album though gave me a lot of hype for something very 80′s rock, but didn’t quite give me what I expected. All in all, the music was fantastic, just a little off-beat from expectations. Recommended Tracks: Gimme What I Want, Angels Like You, WTF Do I Know. 

17. Rina Sawayama’s Sawayama: I didn’t expect to fall in love with this girl the way I did. My boyfriend recommended “STFU” to me as kind of a joke because the song discusses a lot of Asian racism that I’m always criticizing people in my life for falling into, but then the song was so bad ass I checked out the album. There were so many different types of music on it and she really did a good job with all of them. Then, with the deluxe edition coming out and the hardcore club banger “Lucid” being involved... Just really brought it all home. Recommended Tracks: Tokyo Love Hotel, Lucid, Fuck This World. 

16. Amber Liu’s X: This was just an EP, but every song on it was great. Amber Liu was from f(x), a K-Pop Icon Group, but she always seemed like the odd one out. She was such a tomboy, so silly and funny all the time, and didn’t really behave like other Korean idols. I mean, really, she isn’t actually even Korean. I believe she’s Chinese American. In either case, the EP really noted some of her own personal strugles in the business and also remaining pretty fun at parts too. I saw her live in Philly before COVID-19 and she was truly excellent. Recommended Tracks: Numb, Stay Calm, Other People. 

15. Blackpink’s The Album: Not much of an album at only 8 tracks, but that’s K-Pop for you. I bet next year I’ll be putting “Blackpink’s The Album: Repackage” on my top 25 list. The quality of the music was pretty dope though, all things considered. It was a very solid debut effort with all of their previous songs being somewhere in the same lane as this one. I still kind of believe they are a reminder of what 2NE1 could have been, but they’re doing well enough on their own. Recommended Tracks: Ice Cream, Lovesick Girls, Pretty Savage. 

14. Hazuki’s Year Over All: Kind of a weird way to word it, but Hazuki basically released two albums this year in different formats. His work with his band, Lynch., was pretty magnificent. I’m not one to usually dwell on a Lynch. album. Their singles or featured tracks are what I usually get into, but the actual album (Ultima) really did a good job of showing how versatile Hazuki can be. His solo album, Souen -Funeral-, was an entirely stripped down, gothic orchestral album of Lynch. covers and other J-Hard Rock artists. Hearing it done like this was almost transcendental. Recommended Tracks: Xero, Idol, Ray, D.A.R.K. 

13. Sam Smith’s Love Goes: They had me scared that their album wasn’t coming this year once they pushed it back, back in May. Then again, at the time, an album called “To Die For” was probably super tone deaf. In any case, literally every single released for this album had me in love. So, when they all got included in the final version, I was thrilled. Sam gave us a bonus song after the album as well, but I can see why that one didn’t get on. In any case, this is a huge step up from “The Thrill of it All,” which I didn’t really care for. Recommended Tracks: Another One, Dance (’Til You Love Someone Else), Forgive Myself. 

12. Troye Sivan’s In A Dream: I love this kid. He’s so gay and so not shy about it and it really makes me smile. The EP comes after his last LP, Bloom, where the title track basically talks about bottoming for the first time and this new EP deals with a few other queer issues over weirdly produced beats that just... make sense. Recommended tracks: Stud, In A Dream, Easy. 

11. Matenrou Opera’s Chronos: Unfortunately, this band just lost their guitarist again. Their original, Anzi, was basically the most consummate guitarist in the visual kei scene that wasn’t Hizaki and he left them. Their sound wasn’t quite right since and they seemed to just get it back with Chronos when Jay left them. I guess we’ll see what they do next, but I think Chronos could be their last great release. Recommended Tracks: Chronos, Silence, Reminiscence. 

10. BoA’s Better: A very recent release that hasn’t had much time for me to digest. This is strange for me to put it so high on my list for that reason, but BoA is one of my all time favorites. She never disappoints me. This album was no different. It wasn’t exactly up to par with “Woman” or “Watashi Kono Mama de Ii no Kana,” but it definitely gave us some new and very iconic Queen BoA bangers. Recommended Tracks: Cut Me Off, Start Over, Temptations. 

9. Kesha’s High Road: A semi-step down from Rainbow, only because a lot of the same melodic elements and, sometimes, even beats were used on this album too. However, her vocal performance was outstanding and she even gave us a new dirty-pop song with some interesting indie-pop tracks to go with it. Plus, who doesn’t love a Big Freedia feature? Recommended Tracks: Resentment, Raising Hell, Tonight. 

8. Lady Gaga’s Chromatica: Anyone who knows me knows I don’t really love Gaga anymore. After all the drama with Madonna and her experimentation with “Joanne” I didn’t think I’d ever like her music again. However, she definitely won back big points for me on Chromatica. It was finally fun, weird, dancey, and then simultaneously emotional and I was really able to get back into it. She’s always had the voice, but on this one it also showed us that she still has what made us love her. Recommended Tracks: Rain On Me, Plastic Doll, Enigma. 

7. Koda Kumi’s My Name Is... Angel + Monster: She is, very likely, my Japanese Pop Queen. She always makes these absolutely outlandish bangers of dance tracks that have such a great attitude and beat and when she released re(CORD)... last year? 2018? Who can remember... I thought she could never outdo herself. Then she released “Lucky Star” and I was floored. I was a bit disappointed when they were only to promote a “My Name Is...” collection album, but then, to my surprise, a full set of new tracks came out just after that just blew me entirely away. Guess the last 6 albums must be pretty great, huh? Recommended tracks: Killer Monster, Work It!, Alarm. 

6. Grimes’ Miss Anthropocene: I’ve never been a big fan of Grimes, but when Violence came out I was really looking forward to whatever album this was going to end up promoting. The song is actual fire, but then the LP ended up being some kind of experimental Gothic Pop with Asian Pop influences I never expected. I doubt I’ll ever find something she does this good ever again, but it was really a musical light in the darkness of this year. Recommended tracks: Darkseid, Delete Forever, Violence. 

5. Kylie Minogue’s Disco: Admittedly, my draw to Kylie has always been that she is like some kind of Australian Madonna. Madonna being one of my all time favorite artists... In fact, number 2 for all women I listen to, Kylie has some big shoes to fill with her sometimes generic pop that she puts out. However, I haven’t really truly loved a Kylie song since “Get Outta My Way” and then this album comes out filled with tracks to love for the rest of time. Recommended Tracks: Miss A Thing, Till You Love Somebody, Magic. 

4. Chanmina’s Notebook/Angel: I don’t have really any way of knowing how popular Chanmina is in Japan or if she is as popular in the Japanese Queer Scene as she should be, but god damn does she know what she’s doing. Her music is raunchy, bitchy, and condescending at it’s highest and deeply personal at it’s most mellow. There is no “lowest.” “Notebook” was a two-sided album and “Angel” a strong follow up EP, but all the recommended tracks are from “Notebook.” If you have not listened to “Picky”.... go do it now, I’ll wait. Recommended tracks: Picky, Baby, Lucy. 

3. The Weeknd’s After Hours: Incidentally, I got into The Weeknd after someone said something shitty about him here on Tumblr! I took their likely-valid criticism and went to check him out for myself and I gotta say, I love his work. The beats are literally always on point and his voice is like silk. This album provided more than a few iconic songs and I always can’t wait to see what he does next. Recommended Tracks: Alone Again, Heartless, Blinding Lights. 

2. Halsey’s Manic: The singles and features she did between Hopeless Fountain Kingdom and Manic gave me such insanely high hopes and I was not disappointed. HFK was a strong album of course, but this was near perfection for me. I think the production of this alt-pop album was the star of the show because it wasn’t all one way, there were heavy-bass songs, interesting piano riffs, striaght up punk rock, all of it. She really made an album quite like it’s namesake. Recommended Tracks: Ashley, Killing Boys, Still Learning. 

1. Dexcore’s Metempsychosis: A newcomer to the visual kei and death metal scene, they’ve been putting out single after single for years in preparation for their extemeley long and multidaceted debut album. With a total of about 33 songs, the entire second disc was rerecorded singles from their early days and some even got new lyrical treatment. The main series of songs were, of course, also totally flooring and all of the recommended tracks are the new ones. If you haven’t checked them out by now, you have to! Recommended tracks: Cibus, Scribble, Period.

[danceryoongi]

rules: answer questions and tag 20 blogs you are contractually obligated to know better

tagged by @di5appearer thank you!!

name/nickname: cody/courtni

gender: it doesn’t exist. i’m okay with she/her AND they/them but i don’t feel attached to any gender and hate the concept

star sign: aquarius but i was supposed to be a taurus

height: 5’1

time: 6:06 pm

birthday: january 29th

favorite bands: bts, ninja sex party, in this moment, ateez, bring me the horizon, ghost, momoland, monsta x, the neighbourhood, starbomb. there’s more but i can never remember.

favorite solo artists: the weeknd, wonho, lil nas x, sunmi, dua lipa, rob zombie, doja cat, junsu/xia, khalid, harry styles. again there’s more but i can’t remember.

song stuck in my head: beep beep - BTOB.

last movie: family man.

last show: junji ito.

when i created my blog: 2016? 2017? i can’t remember.

last thing i googled: “junji ito collection season 2.”

other blogs: @ayosuuga (bts sideblog), @galaxyghoulboys (buzzfeed unsolved sideblog)

do i get asks: sometimes.

why i chose my url:  because i wanted something to semi match my wife and yoongi IS a dancer.

following: 486

followers: 763

average hours of sleep: depends but usually no more than 3 hours before i wake up for anywhere from 10 minutes to two hours.

lucky numbers: 8.

instruments: none! i reallly wanna take piano lessons though.

what i’m wearing: junji ito print sweats and a salmon pink-ish cooky shirt.

dream job: i wanna work at a flower shop lmao just doing ANYTHING. i wanna be surrounded by flowers all day. and if not flowers then books.

dream trip: japan.

favorite food: mochi, dill pickle chips, cauliflower crust pizza, cheesecake.

nationality: american.

favorite songs: black swan - bts, the show goes on - lupe fiasco, owner of a lonely heart - ninja sex party, black wedding - in this moment ft rob halford, save your tears - the weeknd, thanxx - ateez, and there’s uh a ton more.

top three fictional universes i’d like to live in: studio ghibli ANY universe, the lord of the rings/the hobbit universe, and ummm idk haikyuu!! maybe? the third one is up in the air.

tagging @mainjimin and anyone else who wants to do this!

[allycat-writes]

New Rules (Stephen Strange x Female!Master of the Mystic Arts!Reader)

A/N: So, yes, I live and I’m still in love with Doctor Strange currently and celebrating the release of details for a sequel!!! Still sorta sorry but oh well, what are ya gonna do lol. So like? This is sort of like all of the Avengers being young and attending a school together for super-heroey stuff? Also, obviously based off the song New Rules by Dua Lipa. Y/N is obviously *Your Name*, Y/N/N is “Your Nickname*. And, as always, thank you to my platonic soulmate, the Roger Taylor to my Freddie Mercury for everything, @unknownauthor .

Warnings: Probably swearing. Adult themes (like mentions of smut stuff and pregnancy-scare mention)

You know the drill at this point. Likes are cool, reblog are literally motivation to write more!!!

(Not my GIF)

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One, one, one, one, one

Talkin' in my sleep at night, makin' myself crazy (Out of my mind, out of my mind) Wrote it down and read it out, hopin' it would save me (Too many times, too many times)

My love, he makes me feel like nobody else, nobody else But my love, he doesn't love me, so I tell myself, I tell myself

“Hey, kiddo. Why the long face?” You looked up from your phone to find Carol Danvers standing in front of you, her green and black backpack slung over one shoulder carelessly. You winced.

“You realize I’m only three years younger than you, right?” You bit her lip, pausing. “I may have done something really, really dumb,” you admitted, with a sigh. Carol raised an eyebrow before sitting down next to you.

“How dumb are we talking here?” Carol asked, her voice soft. You looked around to make sure none of the others were within earshot before looking back to Carol.

“Like sleeping with my best friend dumb.” Carol let out a low whistle.

“Shit, kid. You slept with Strange?” You groaned, putting your head in your hands. Carol noticed Tony Stark glance your way, his eyebrows furrowing together in worry as he noticed your distress. Carol waved him off.

“Yeah, I did. Now what the fuck do I say to him? How do we go back?”

“Well, do you want to go back?” You sat up again.

“Of course I do! He’s my best friend. I don’t want things to be awkward between us.”

“If you want to just be friends, why did you sleep with him?”

“What other option do I have than to hope things go back to normal or lose my best friend?” You sighed, rolling your eyes.

“Trying to make a real relationship with him. Obviously you must be at least slightly attracted to him,” Carol pointed out, gently.

“Of course I am. Have you seen him?”

“Then why not try?”

“Have you seen me? I don’t think he’s ever even thought about an actual relationship with me. I’m surprised he even said yes. I don’t think he has the same feelings for me and what if I bring it up and I’m right? Then I really, truly lose my best friend.”

“Okay, first, you’re adorable. Why wouldn’t he like you?” You groaned. “What? You are. And there’s only one way to know for sure how he feels. And what do you mean ‘said yes’?”

“‘Adorable’. See? That’s not typically a great thing to be if you want people to take you seriously.” You tensed up slightly. “I may or may not have......possibly asked him to fuck me hard......because I was stressed out and tense and......needed the release.”

“Jesus Christ, Y/N/N. Then what are you going to do? Just ignore the elephant in the room? Keep sleeping with him?”

“I don’t know. Carol, what am I gonna do?” You sighed, laying your head on the older girl’s shoulder.

“I don’t know what to tell you. But I know someone who might,” Carol replied, with a half shrug. You lifted your head to curiously look at Carol. “Hey, Strange. How’s it going?” Stephen quirked an eyebrow as he walked past Carol.

“I’m still alive, so that’s something.” Stephen glanced at you over his shoulder for a moment before calling back, “Hey, Y/N/N. Spell practicing later?”

“You’re the boss, Sorcerer Supreme.”

One: Don't pick up the phone You know he's only callin' 'cause he's drunk and alone Two: Don't let him in You'll have to kick him out again Three: Don't be his friend You know you're gonna wake up in his bed in the morning And if you're under him, you ain't gettin' over him

You were laying upside down on your bed, a pencil between your lips as you squinted at the notes you had taken over one of your sources when you heard a knock at your open dorm room door. You glanced towards the door to find Carol leaning against the doorframe. “How was spell practice with the wizard?”

“Master of the Mystic Arts,” you corrected her, gesturing your friend into the room. Carol closed the door behind her and sat down on the carpeted floor, raising an eyebrow. “I think......I think we’re fuck buddies.”

“You didn’t.”

“......I really did,” you sighed, sitting up. You sat there for a moment before turning to face Carol again, tucking your legs underneath yourself. You tucked the pencil behind your ear.

“You’re already way too attached to him to survive this, Y/N.”

“Of fucking course I am. He’s my best friend. I......” you paused, turning to look over at the wall, “Shit. I think...... I think I’m in love with him.”

“Y/N/N, you have to end this. You’re gonna get yourself hurt. You have to break this off. Go back to being just friends while you still can. You know Stephen. He won’t mean to hurt you but we both know it will happen.”

“How though? I don’t know how I can be close to him and just not...not love him.”

“You might need to take a break from being his friend. Can’t you practice spellwork or whatever with Wong?”

“I mean I can but......he’s my best friend? How do I just......take a break from that? How do I avoid my best friend? I don’t want to hurt him and make him think I hate him or that I’m mad at him when he hasn’t done anything. I’m the one that fucked things up between us...”

“Make some rules up for yourself to follow. Just tell him you’re going to be a little AWOL for a while. You do have a ton of papers and exams to finish up, right?” You nodded, biting your lip. You sighed, flopping onto your back to stare at the ceiling.

I got new rules, I count 'em I got new rules, I count 'em I gotta tell them to myself I got new rules, I count 'em I gotta tell them to myself

I keep pushin' forwards, but he keeps pullin' me backwards (Nowhere to turn, no way) (Nowhere to turn, no) Now I'm standin' back from it, I finally see the pattern (I never learn, I never learn)

But my love, he doesn't love me, so I tell myself, I tell myself I do, I do, I do

“Hey, Miss- Sorry, Y/N. I don’t mean to, I don’t know, spy on you, but it’s just. The table keeps vibrating and I just...... Shouldn’t you answer your phone? I think someone needs to get a hold of you.” You looked up, pausing your music and taking your other earbud out.

“I’m really sorry, Peter. I hope this isn’t distracting you from your work,” you apologized with a sigh.

“Oh, no, you’re fine!! I know that MJ keeps texting me so my phone keeps vibrating so really, you’re okay! I just. I don’t know, figured I should say that? But really, it’s not bothering me!” You smiled at the boy.

“You’re a good kid, Peter Parker. You know that?” Peter smiled, opening his mouth to say something when you heard a heavy sigh behind you.

“He’s way too young for you, Sorcerer’s Apprentice.” You turned to find Tony Stark, his arms loaded with books.

“He’s not my type, Stark. And I wouldn’t ever date a minor, even one as sweet as Peter.” You rolled your eyes.

“Oh yeah, also. I’m pretty sure there’s some tension between you and your boyfriend so I’ll just warn you. He was at the front desk looking for you when I walked in, Sabrina” You grimaced, gathering up your belongings.

“Thanks, Tony. I really do appreciate it.” You slung your backpack over your shoulder and raised your hands to form a portal back to your room, sealing it shut behind yourself.

One: Don't pick up the phone You know he's only callin' 'cause he's drunk and alone Two: Don't let him in You'll have to kick him out again Three: Don't be his friend You know you're gonna wake up in his bed in the morning And if you're under him, you ain't gettin' over him

“You used magic in the library?” Wong asked, his expression disappointed as you walked into the room. You groaned, putting your workout bag on the ground.

“It was an emergency,” you muttered, grabbing a ponytail holder from your bag and securing your hair out of your way.

“I don’t think hiding from a friend is an emergency. And why am I not allowed to tell Strange that you’re practicing with me?”

“I don’t want him to think that I hate him and I’m avoiding him.”

“But you are apparently avoiding him.”

“I have like four papers to write and two exams to study for. Can we, I don’t know, actually get to practicing spellwork?” Wong rolled his eyes before he gestured for you to get into stance. You relaxed, squaring your shoulders before you moved into position.

I got new rules, I count 'em I got new rules, I count 'em I gotta tell them to myself I got new rules, I count 'em I gotta tell them to myself

Practice makes perfect I'm still tryna learn it by heart (I got new rules, I count 'em) Eat, sleep, and breathe it Rehearse and repeat it, 'cause I (I got new)

“Y/N, I know you said I have done nothing wrong but it definitely seems as if you are trying your hardest to avoid me. If that’s not the case, I apologize but I just,” Stephen sighed and you could feel your heart ache at the sound, “I miss you. So whenever, I don’t know, things calm down or you start to feel like yourself, I honestly don’t know what you’re going through but... I’ll be here. If you need anything. Maybe I’m not as patient a teacher as Wong but I promise I’ll work on it just...” he sighed again and you could almost hear him shaking his head at himself, “Get back to me when you can, alright?” You set your phone down on the grass beside your book.

“What am I going to do?” you whispered, your hand resting gently on your stomach.

“I don’t mean to intrude but... I’ve been sitting here for ten minutes and you’ve listened to that voicemail about...five times, no? Maybe you should just call him back? It is quite obvious that you miss him as much as he misses you. Or at the very least, I don’t think listening to the voicemail of a call you purposely avoided will help ease your pain.” You glanced over to see Wanda Maximoff studying you quietly, Loki laying next to her, flicking his fingers in boredom to draw green shapes in the air. “Sorry, I know we’ve never actually spoken to one another but it seems like your heart might actually be aching for this man.”

“It’s......complicated. I think I love this man and some stuff happened to make me realize I do actually seriously love him but I don’t think he feels the same way and I don’t want to get hurt,” you blurted out. Wanda smiled, gently.

“It already seems you are hurting. You might as well try and talk to him and find out if he returns your feelings before isolating yourself from him and causing both of you pain. You might also find it difficult to work together if you push him too far away.” You smiled.

“Thank you, Wanda. I definitely appreciate it. Maybe sometime we could practice fighting together? And maybe have Vision be referee or something,” you teased, causing Wanda’s fair skin to redden with color, a shy smile crossing her features. You picked your phone back up, typing up a quick text. Stephen, I’m sorry. Can you meet me at the library in ten minutes? I definitely think we need to talk.

“I will absolutely take you up on that, Y/N,” Wanda promised, smirking slightly.

One: Don't pick up the phone (yeah) You know he's only callin' 'cause he's drunk and alone (alone) Two: Don't let him in (uh-ooh) You'll have to kick him out again (again) Three: Don't be his friend You know you're gonna wake up in his bed in the morning And if you're under him, you ain't gettin' over him

You glanced at your watch again before turning towards the window to see the sky in shades of pink and purple as the sun set. You sighed, packing your things up before grabbing your phone. You dialed Carol’s number as you exited the library.

“Danvers.”

“Hey. I...” you started, your voice trailing off as you felt tears start welling in your eyes. “I don’t know what to do. I tried texting Stephen because I need to talk to him and I asked him to meet me and...” You tried to choke back a sob. “I think I’m pregnant. And he hates me and I don’t know what to do, I can’t do this on my own.”

“Whoa, hold up. You’re what?”

“I haven’t taken a test but I’m late and my stomach has been feeling weird and I don’t know what to do, Carol. What am I going to do? I can’t hide this from him. He’ll know,” you sobbed, covering your mouth with your hand to muffle your distress.

“You need to breathe. I’ll get a test for you and meet you back at your dorm, okay? I’ll wait with you. You don’t need to be alone right now, okay?” Carol replied, trying to soothe you. “Just portal back to your place and wait for me, okay?” Carol hung up and you tried to quiet your cries as you tried to calm down. After a few minutes, you were calm enough to form a portal to step through. You sealed it shut and laid on your bed, silent tears still streaming down your face. Ten minutes later, your door opened and Carol stepped in, a bag in her hand. “Oh honey,” she sighed as you silently took the bag and disappeared into your bathroom. Carol sat on the floor with you once you were done, both waiting impatiently. You glanced at the clock and sighed.

“Can you......can you check it?” you asked, your voice wavering. Carol nodded, squeezing your hand before she stood up. Carol laughed.

“Negative. It must just be the stress. You’re fine,” she replied, sitting back down to hug you. You laughed too, relaxing in your friend’s embrace. You froze again, tensing up.

“He still hates me though. What do I do?”

“Just sleep. You can worry about talking to him next time you see him. Just get some rest, Y/N/N, okay?” You nodded, slowly getting up to crawl into bed. You didn’t move as Carol threw the test away and left the room, locking the door on her way out.

I got new rules, I count 'em I got new rules, I count 'em (Whoa-ooh, whoa-ooh, whoa) I gotta tell them to myself I got new rules, I count 'em (Baby, you know I count 'em) I gotta tell them to myself

Don't let him in, don't let him in Don't, don't, don't, don't Don't be his friend, don't be his friend Don't, don't, don't, don't Don't let him in, don't let him in Don't, don't, don't, don't Don't be his friend, don't be his friend Don't, don't, don't, don't You're gettin' over him

You woke up the next morning to urgent knocks on your door and you rolled over to check the time. 8:15. Only one person you knew would be up and at your door that early. You threw the covers off, not bothering to change out of the clothes you fell asleep in or brush your hair or hide your puffy eyes. You opened the door, examining Stephen’s unkempt appearance. “I am so sorry I didn’t meet you yesterday. I had turned my phone off to study for my exam and I didn’t think you’d be texting me anytime soon.” You sighed, stepping aside to let him in the door. Stephen relaxed, moving into the room before he turned to face you again, his eyes locking on the puffy skin under your eyes. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.” He started to reach out for you before he paused, holding his arms out awkwardly before he let his arms fall back to his sides before clearing his throat uncomfortably. “You said we needed to talk? Does that mean you’re done avoiding me?” You winced slightly.

“I’m sorry. I really didn’t want to hurt you, I’m just......I’m afraid and way out of my comfort zone. But I do need to tell you something. And it could absolutely ruin our friendship. I don’t want to lose you, Stephen,” you started, taking a deep breath.

“I think any chance of a normal friendship went out the window when I agreed to......helping you relieve stress,” Stephen pointed out, raising an eyebrow and crossing his arms over his chest.

“Oh, wow, thanks for that. Never would have figured that out on my own. What would I do without you?” you replied, your voice dripping with sarcasm. You sighed, looking away from Stephen.

“Just say it. You obviously have other places you would rather be so get on with it. It’s fine.” You opened your mouth to speak when he raised a hand. “You don’t even have to say it. Understood. We can go back to pretending nothing ever happened.” Your eyebrows furrowed together at the bitterness in his voice.

“Stephen, listen to me. I don’t want to go back to pretending like nothing happened. But I want......if we just go back to fucking and that’s all it is, a means to an end, then......I know I’m going to get hurt. What do you want?” Stephen blinked in surprise.

“You......you want more?” he asked, his mind racing to catch up.

“I do. But if you don’t want that, it will hurt. I’ll get hurt. I know I will—” Stephen smiled, stepping forward and pulling your face up to meet his, one trembling hand under your chin, pressing your lips together. After a minute, you both pulled away, your breathing both ragged.

“Does that answer your question, Y/N/N?” he murmured, his hand still gripping your chin lightly, your breath mingling together. You nodded, standing on your toes to kiss him again, wrapping your arms around his neck. Stephen smiled against your lips as your hand started playing with the hair at the base of his neck. After you broke apart for air, Stephen kissed your forehead, wrapping his arms around you.

“Wait, before...before anything else happens. I thought that I was...pregnant. I’m not, but I just...figured you should know.” He pulled away again to study your face before relaxing again.

“I care for you. More than you know.” You smiled, brushing a dark strand of hair off of Stephen’s forehead. “Can we please go back to practicing spellwork together? I miss my partner.” You laughed, nodding. Stephen smiled, kissing you soundly again.

---------------------------------

Permanent Tag List:

@mezzomercury

@angeleyesmalek

[bookblowndust]

21 QUESTIONS

@queencandycorn tysm for tagging me!💕

RULES: answer 21 question and tag 21 people you want to know better

Nicknames: everyone calls me by name but sometimes some of my relatives call me thea (or does it spell like teha in English idk🤔) that’s like short form of my name

Zodiac sign: Capricorn

Height: 165 cm

Hogwarts house: if i only knew. Mostly tests show me or Slytherin or Gryffindor. They’re like 50-50 and because I’m super indecisive i can’t decide to which house i belong more

Last thing i googled: the hate u give characters. I couldn’t remember staars surname

Fave musicians: god they are way to many and I’m sure I’ll miss someone but there we go: adele, alessia cara, ariana grande, ed sheeran, shawn mendes, camila cabello, anne-marie, dua lipa, halsey, lewis capaldi, dean lewis, jonas brothers, imagine dragons, 5sos, the chainsmokers,.. and that’s already too many of them someone please send here help to stop me

Song stuck in your head: they are four actually

I know what you did last summer - shawn mendes & camila cabello

Waves - dean lewis

Remember - gryffin, zohara

NASA - ariana grande.

Following: 1568

Followers: 1513 btw i now have follower celebration here so if you want you can join it here

Do you get asks: unfortunately not many but on my other blog i got who asks from two amazing persons. Thank u both so much! U literally made my day!💕.

Amount of sleep: 8-9 hours

Luckily number: i don’t have one i guess😞

What are u wearing: pajama cause it’s like 3am and i should already be sleeping but apparently I’m not oops

Dream job: i don’t have this one either. I’m still trying to figure out what i want but i still have few years!

Dream trip: London

Instruments: none but i would very much like to learn playing piano or violin

Languages: english, russian, georgian and german i speak the worst (but I think im a little good at it since I’m B2 idk🤷‍♀️) and i also learned japanese for 2 years but since i don’t remember much i think that doesn’t count

10 favourite songs at the moment:

Those four i have already mentioned obviously and this six

Animals - maroon 5

Sanctuary - welshly arms

Unstoppable - sia

Eastside - benny blanco, halsey, khalid

Youngblood - 5sos

Natural - imagine dragons

Again i don’t have just 10 fave songs right now i have them much much more but those are just those that came the first to my mind

Random fact: i have a twin sister and I’m one of the best students at the school.

My aesthetic: bright pastel colors, books, textbooks, headphones (+laptop or phone maybe), plants, sunshine, smile, city/town/nature (forest, lake, field, sea,.. anything could fit) and idk pretty much anything like that. That could be any weather or season, any part of a day as long as keep it light. And ofc some coziness and happiest!

Tagging @ladyrhaenys @annabetths @starkovalina @casslopeia @alinespenhallow @kignofscars @cecilyherondales @athna @greengrasses @svnsummoners @nklantsov @telekhine @morozovas-collar @honeyddukes @zoyanasyalansky @brekkfast @safifonhasstrel @violentmouths @gracesguidetogoodbooks @brookeworm99 @infinitebookwrms @infinitebookworm05 @housebaylor + anyone else who wants to do this!

If anyone is confused about who i am then know that this is @maverkling ‘s booklr. Hope u all have nice day/night!💖

[starlightseb]

I Couldn't Be More In Love • Ruben Loftus-Cheek

A/N: Requested by the lovely @fuxkingzzle!  This is very loosely based on the song I Couldn’t Be More In Love by The 1975

Words: 2143 Warnings: none apart from the fact that this is EXTREME FLUFF!

You are meant to hate your ex boyfriends, right? You are meant to blast IDGAF by Dua Lipa, Irreplaceable by Beyoncé and such songs until you are 100 percent over him and never want to see him again.

So why am I sitting next to my ex, in my favourite dress with candles littered across the table and my favourite meal in front of me?

-

Earlier that day

"Are you sure I look alright?" I asked Ruben for reassurance as I did a quick twirl, showing off my dress.

"Yeah, you look great." Ruben looked me over, causing me to clear my throat and divert his attention back to my face. It looked like he had been hit by a tonne of bricks. "When are you meeting him?"

I had a date night arranged with a friend of a friend, set up by one of my closest friends who claimed that this guy was "the perfect guy" for me. I wasn't too sure about the whole situation, but considering the fact that Ruben and I had broken up over a year ago and I hadn't been on a date since, I had decided there would be no harm in meeting new guys now.

Plus, Ruben and I had basically secured our relationship as friends these past months. With him back at Chelsea and me now graduated from University, we were now able to spend time with each other again. Time for the feelings once hidden away to resurface yet again. I had basically accepted that we were never get back to what we were before: two lovesick teenagers, joint at the hip and in a stable relationship.

"10 minutes or so." I answered casually, quickly checking my make up in the pocket mirror.

"Do you want me to drive you there?" He offered, twirling his car keys around his index finger.

"Yeah, that would be useful actually. If you don't mind?"

"You know I'm always here to help."

His words and his smile caused my stomach to twist and turn, that fuzzy feeling rising up. I try to ignore it as I tuck a piece of stray hair behind my ear and break the eye contact between us, my voice light and airy as I speak.

"Likewise."

-

I said 10 minutes, but it ended up being nearer 20 minutes until I was making my way out of the house with a new colour of lipstick covering my lips. I decided that red was too bold for a casual first date. I ensured that the front door was locked before stuffing my house keys into my handbag and made my way to Ruben's car, parked in the drive.

As I opened the passenger door, Ruben's head shot up and the small smile that he had etched on his face remained as he looked up at me as I took my seat in his car.

"What instagram model are you DMing now?" I sarcastically asked, turning around to reach for my seatbelt.

"You have such low standards of me." I heard him laugh as he put his phone down and started the ignition.

"Well if you are smiling like an idiot at your phone like that, it can only mean one thing." -

"Excuse me," I raised my voice to get the attention of the waiter as he passed. "Did anyone show up for this reservation before I arrived?"

It had been half an hour since I arrived at the restaurant, expecting my date to already be there considering the fact that I was fashionably late already. However, I was met with a vacant table, which has been my only company for the past 30 minutes.

Either:

a) I had been stood up, which is just the most embarrassing thing as I sat amongst all the other couples who kept staring oddly at me.

or b) He thought I stood him up and only waited 5 minutes over the time we said to meet before rushing off again.

For the state of my self-confidence and self-esteem, I hoped it was option b. However, deep down I knew it would be option a.

"No, I don't think so. Sorry." The waiter said in a rush, but did not fail to give me a sympathetic look before rushing to a table across the restaurant. With that, I had enough of waiting and decided to get a taxi back home.

-

I was hardly through the door when my phone began to buzz and a familiar name popped up on my screen: Ruben. Hesitantly, I answered the call.

"Hello?"

"Hey, how did it go? It seemed really quick?"

"How did you know that I'm back??"

"Snapchat maps, babe."

"Because that isn't creepy..."

"I was just making sure you weren't going to get kidnapped or something. You know, stranger danger?"

"Well you don't need to worry about that. He didn't even show up."

"He didn't??"

"Nope. No one."

"Dickhead."

"Yeah, but whatever. I'm just going to get changed into my pyjamas and watch some Netflix, I prefer that anyway."

"No!"

"No?"

"I mean no, don't ruin all the hard work you put into yourself tonight because of a dickhead. Come over to mine, we can watch some films."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, of course. You'll be over in 30?"

"See you then."

-

As soon as I stepped into the lounge of Ruben's house, my heart felt like sinking to the bottom of my chest. The lights were turned off and there was nothing giving light apart from the candles and the TV screen, already open on Netflix. Blankets covered the sofa and there was a strong, endearing smell coming from the kitchen. I placed my jacket over the sofa before strolling slowly into the kitchen to find Ruben dressed slightly smarter than before and fussing over a pan, stirring it with a wooden spoon.

"Ruben?" I raised my voice to get his attention, causing him to jump and turn around to face me.

"You're here!" he exclaimed before awkwardly smiling and turning back to the pan.

"What you making?" I asked, curious as I approached him, peeking over his shoulder.

"Pasta. That is your favourite, right?" He turned his head slightly to look at me. I nodded in response and bit my lip in an attempt to hide the smile threatening to make its way onto my face.

I picked up the fork and plunged it into the pan of pasta to pick out a piece to test it. Ruben watched carefully as I blew gently on it and took a bite.

"Mmm perfect." I mumbled before repeating the process but this time offering the piece to Ruben who hesitantly leaned forward and ate the pasta off of the fork I still held in my hand.

"Yeah, that is quite nice." he nodded in agreement, turning the hob off and getting out the plates. I stood back and watched him serve up the pasta with care, my heart fluttering at the sight. Do friends do this for each other?

"Parmesan?" he offered, holding up the tube of parmesan with a smile.

"Duh, of course." I laughed, watching as he was overly generous with the amount of parmesan he put on my pasta, knowing my love for the cheese.

"You can go and sit down in the lounge, I will be through with the pasta in a second." Ruben gestured towards the direction of the lounge. I nodded and slowly walked through to the lounge, taking my shoes off and making myself comfortable on the sofa. When I brought the blankets up to my face, I was overwhelmed with a familiar smell, indicating that these blankets were from his bed.

"For my lady." He finally walked through, a smile on his face as he presented me with the plate full of pasta. I smiled generously at him before he walked away again to get his plate. For the short time he was in the kitchen again, my hand went crazy over his words 'my lady' and that tingling, fuzzy feeling returned in my stomach.

I waited until he was back with his plate and sitting down comfortably beside me before I started to eat away at the pasta. He passed me the remote for the TV and nodded for me to choose whatever I wanted, which he instantly regretted with a groan as I pressed play on 'Pride and Prejudice', a favourite of mine and an annoyance to Ruben.

"Well you let me pick." I winked at him before returning to my pasta.

Soon, the end credits appeared on screen and empty plates and glasses covered the coffee table in front of us. I found myself snuggled into Ruben's side, his arm firm around my waist as my eyes began to get increasingly heavy and watery with tiredness. I unwillingly broke free of his grip as I stretched and let out a small yawn before turning to face Ruben, who looked equally tired, his eyes looking into mine before glancing down towards my changed outfit.

Half way through the film, my dress was getting increasingly uncomfortable with the amount of food I consumed. Ruben suggested that I help myself to his wardrobe, to find something more comfy and cozy to wear. I decided on one of his football shirts and a pair of his sweatpants which seemed to be grabbing his attention an unusual amount throughout the film, every now and then, glances at the back of his shirt on my body to see his name on my back. I decided not to confront him about it.

"Thanks a lot for tonight. Really, you have made my night 100 times better." I thanked him in a sincere tone, a genuine smile on my lips.

"It was what you deserved." Ruben simply shrugged, stretching his own arms out, showing off the muscles in his arms, causing me to bite my lip slightly.

"Well, thank you anyway. I don't know what I would do without you,"  I blurted out, my eyes meeting his as I utter the words. His eyes seemingly sparkling at my words. Scared of the intimate moment, I regretfully change the mood of the conversation. "I'm sure if you do this for the instagram model you were talking to earlier, she will fall head over heals in love with you." I joked, a false laugh escaping out of my mouth.

Ruben's look suddenly turned serious. His eyes narrowed as he reached over to grab his phone. "You want to know what I was smiling 'like an idiot' at in the car?" he didn't give me a chance to answer as he turned his phone around to my face and flicked through the several selfies that I took on his phone when he left it unattended earlier that day. They were all quite embarrassing actually, each of me pulling a different stupid face: tongue out; overdramatic pout; several chins; thumbs up. When he flicked past the one with me over enthusiastically smiling at the camera, he quickly flicked back, looking at it for a moment before showing it to me again.

"That one is my favourite." he chuckled, but by this time I was unable to speak. I could feel my cheeks turning a deep shade of red and by body heating up all over. "That smile is unmatched by any instagram model." he uttered quietly before turning the phone back off again and placing it beside him.

"Ruben... I..." I finally managed to mumble, albeit in the most quiet whisper I could. He looked back at me, our gazes locking. I opened my mouth to speak again but was interrupted as he began to speak again.

"The truth is," he started, nervously biting his lip and rubbing the back of his neck. "It's always been you. Always been you that I want to see in the crowds of my games, cheering me on. Always been you that I want to see smiling last thing at night and first thing in the morning. Always been you that I picture spending the rest of my life with. The reality is, I couldn't be more in love with you."

As his little speech ended, I could feel my heart beating frantically in my chest and my hand instinctively reach out for his, bringing his hand towards my mouth to press a kiss on it.

"You have no idea how difficult it was for me to be apart from you for a year, the only times I saw you was through the TV screen." I admitted as I mumbled into his hand.

"Then, it won't happen again. From now on, it will me you and me." He insisted, gently bringing me towards him again.

"Yeah," I smiled, pressing a gentle kiss to his cheek and then his lips. "You and me."

[jlf23tumble]

1D Day, Hour Two

The file I’m watching on YouTube is much shorter than an hour (44 minutes!!), but that’s because the poster kindly removed the “VT” (shudder) from random countries (it always boils down to [insert country’s name’s] fans wilding, and there’s only so much of that I can take).

Still, hour 2 is fucking ICONIC for many reasons, the biggest being Harry’s barely constrained rage. Yes, Louis’s “done with it all” demeanor on 1D Day is (justifiably) legendary, but Harry’s right there with him (twin flames, y’all). I can’t tell if he’s coked up, genuinely angry, or just passive-aggressively petty because someone told him he had to speak more quickly, much more loudly, and with some enthusiasm, for chrissakes. Oh, he delivers, all right, so much maniacal shouting. Deets under the cut.

Hour 2 is all Lirry, and I, for one, love Lirry, so it’s 44 minutes well spent. Liam tells us, “We’re kicking it off with VT from  France, give it up for France!” (“FRANCAIS!” Harry yells), and after the missing bit of French VT, we’re back to Lirry, with Harry vacillating between murdering the French language (“Mercy boo coo to France”) and shouting “I ATE SNAILS” as his contribution to what they did in France last time they were there (Liam played football with some guys near the Eiffel Tower, fwiw).

The first guest is Dynamo (or, “DYNAMO, EVERYBODY” if you’re Harry), and he’s here for card tricks and more (“OH, SNAP” is Harry’s response to Dynamo nearly twisting his own finger off, and god, it’s horrifying). Harry’s fairly manic through the entirety of the card tricks, but I love Liam because he’s me in every card trick (“I’m glad mine’s easy to remember because I’d probably forget,” which is true of any card you take, like, ever???):

“WHO LOVES MAGIC!” Harry shouts, and there’s a needlessly complicated special interactive trick that gets introduced here, with Dynamo saying that he wrote a prediction on a piece of paper and sealed it in a box at the beginning of the day, so he needs to Harry to keep the key safe. Points if you correctly assumed that Harry will stuff that key right in next to his dick as a joke.

Because nobody rehearsed or prepared for this epic full-day live event, there are all kinds of problems with the cameras, and if you want a fun drinking game to get you hammered within 45 minutes, take a shot every time you see a variation of this (Liam looking vaguely concerned while Harry aggressively points at the sky or the camera while shouting):

A horrifically bad segment that’s a poorly disguised advert for Google Hangouts (lmaoaoaoaooaoaoa) kicks off questions from all over the world (the audio is bad, none of the visuals syncs), but we get some iconic answers to deeply important questions, like, “If you were in the Hunger Games, who would  survive the longest?” Liam says he’d hide and then kill passersby (yikes), and Harry says he’s more of a lover than a fighter, so he’d hide in a tree until it all blew over. Liam: “Oh, yeah, you’re definitely more of a lover.” Harry: “Easy there, Piers Morgan.”

The next question is from a group of girls wearing Christmas sweaters, which annoys Harry because “it’s a whole month and two days early,” but I think his issues are bigger than jumping the gun on holidays (and honestly, the UK doesn’t have the twin buffers of T’day and H’ween, so you KNOW this is just part of his general rage). Anyway, they want to know what other careers these two would be involved with, sans the D, and because they’re five, Liam says spaceman and Harry says baker.

After a series of horrible glitches, the next question is about which superhero they’d be, and me as Harry, blowing a giant raspberry as he ponders this important question with the level of exhaustion he surely must feel, three years into this band/interview technique. Liam can read the room, so he picks this one up and says he’d be Kung-Fu Panda, which makes it easy for Harry to say Hong Kong Fuey (!!!) or Top Cat.

With that mess done, it’s time to “ROLL THE VT!” (according to Harry) for Switzerland, and because the producers here are nothing if not cliché lovers, that means tiny cowbells for Harry to play with when we come back. He quickly tires of this, throws the cowbells off stage, yells “WE NEED A CAMERA,” and walks straight into the call box with the overwhelmed girls from hour 1. These girls are still weeping, but Harry says, “Thank you for listening to the album, you’re getting kicked out, sorry,” in the flattest voice possible, so good cop Liam hurries over to ask the weeping girls which song they liked and usher in two new people.

“Happily” is debuted, but we don’t get to see it, boo, but we do get ushered over to a theater with some contest winners. Or as Harry says, “We’re here backstage to meet some fans who have won a chance to be here…SHUT UP…in our VIP cinema,” and then, “You’re crying…is that because I told you to shut up? I didn’t mean it.” Liam is there again to save the day, but there are lots of sound problems, so it’s hard to tell what’s happening, tbh.

Anyway, these fans get to ask some iconic questions, such as, “What would we find in your fridge?” which gives us this classic from Harry: “I DON’T LIVE ANYWHERE, SO NO FOOD,” as the audience says, “awwwwww” in the background.

There’s a question from a lady on the screen, saying that she’s in front of the X Factor studios, and she wants to know what they would change their audition song to, if they could go back in time, and because Harry’s well aware of his various stalkers, he says, “I saw her the other day at the X Factor studios, 100 percent” (fwiw, Harry would do “Wrecking Ball” with props, and Liam would do “Mirrors”).

The last question is what they would change if they could go back in time, and Liam says probably his older haircuts, and Harry says that one day in April (and he mentions April again later in the hour, so someone investigate), he had a dodgy breakfast burrito, so he’d probably change that (he also had a dodgy batch of prawns one time, too, but that’s a different story, and god, he’s an underrated comedian). The sound is for shit, but Liam doubts this, prompting Harry to scream, “DON’T JUDGE ME, LIAM, I’M TRYING MY BEST,” and whyyyyyy is he so on fire (and why do I love it so much):

We get back to the studio with an inexplicably breathless Scott Mills (he says he ran…but from where, lmao) and do another spin to figure out who the official 1D account (????) will follow on twitter. Harry starts cheating before people start yelling at him to stop, which is a shame, really, just follow all of these poor bastards, honestly!

We don’t get to see the VT from Germany, but we do get to see Lirry bickering about camera problems and stolen lines, plus an exhaustive rundown of all the thrilling things to come, and I’m so thankful to the person who made this moment a Dua Lipa meme all those months ago:

One of my favorite segments has a really awkward setup, but tl/dr/dw, Harry brags, “I’m a bit of a chef myself, and if I’m honest, Liam, I’m pretty damned good at it,” so we get a “ROLL VT!” and an aggressive finger point, both from Harry, and a silly but charming cook off with the tour chef, who seems like a lovely lady (p.s. look at how glorious his hair was under all those tablecloths…also, he’s chewing gum in a gross way, but this whole bit is worth watching in full):

The cook off is genuinely funny and results in a beautiful pavlova from Sarah and a basic sandwich (with pickle and paprika) from Harry, judged by Mark Jarvis, Gemma Styles, and Lou Teasdale, all of whom Harry bribes. I’m more fascinated with this ring, and my head canon has it either saying ILY or JEN (both of which make me smile):

With that bit over, we move on to more rapping of random tweets, and it’s embarrassing, so I won’t get into that. But the VT of Liam surfing is something special, not only because he looks so obviously happy while he’s doing it, but also because he says some very profound things in the interview around it: “I get followed a lot, so it’s quite nice to get out in the sea where nobody can follow you […] it’s so nice and peaceful […] it doesn’t matter what you look like, you can just have a good time, it’s a bit of an escape,” and ouchhhhhh, that’s some real talk.

We head back to the studio for a fashion segment with Louise someone; a handful of lucky fans in Sweden won a t-shirt design contest, and Lirry are gonna do some modeling. Louise is happy that Harry knows where Sweden is (Harry:  “I got a B in geography…might have been a C, can’t remember”), and some poor shlub working on this trainwreck in the shadow gets dragged out on camera because he’s wearing green jeans, but he’s not there for long (Harry: “GET OUT” *shove*). Louise describes the fashion show to come, and Harry says that he’s quite good at walking in straight lines, but Liam reminds him that he tends to fall over a lot on stage and that the tiny catwalk is actually pretty shiny (god bless Liam for being so responsible).

Luckily for all of us, professional model Cindy Crawford is there to help with some tips (she’s introduced as “IT’S ONLY BLOODY CINDY CRAWFORD” by Harry, and I die with Cindy’s “Hello, boys,” and Harry’s “Hello, Mrs. Crawford”…followed swiftly by Cindy’s, “Please don’t call me Mrs. Crawford”). There’s some sexi modeling, and even though he only wears two shirts to Harry’s three (*and* Harry gets down on the ground to pose), Liam wins, according to the Swedes. He requests a model  off with Cindy as his prize, and he’s surprisingly good?

The last segment is with Dynamo, the magic man, and for some reason, Harry’s weirdly agro about his own shirt mic, like, unnecessarily so, ripping it off to speak with Dynamo before gently putting it back where it belongs. Maybe he’s just frustrated about how they have to use Google+ (lololololol) for a totally convoluted imaginary concert that ultimately doesn’t work (me as him, tbh). 

While Liam does tech support live on air (!!), Harry asks Dynamo to do some card tricks to stall for time after literally nobody says a word when he monotones, “We’re having a technical difficulty…does anybody know any jokes.” Harry pulls a card as directed, but then, for seemingly no reason, he suddenly starts yelling, “THIS ISN’T WORKING, SHALL WE SEE SOME HIGHLIGHTS? HIGHLIGHTS!!! ROLL HIGHLIGHTS [aggressive pointing]!!” and the highlights are truly awful, and I hope he’s enjoying his smoke break for hour 3, jfc.