#i can’t help it tho like sometimes it’s just too good i gotta absorb it all

[izukatz]

i’d like to sincerely apologize for all the artists i’ve unintentionally spammed on this app because i got addicted to scrolling through their art 😔

[preeningpisces]

Geto NSFW Headcanons

Im gonna try not to be biased because this is my main bitch right here 🖤

Lemme know if you want me to elaborate or write about any of these headcanons

(literally any ask about Geto will make me do somersaults—backflips, even)

18+ content below the cut, mdni, implied chubby f!reader

Pre-Incident

꩜ Geto is interesting because before he snaps and after he snaps feel like two different vibes in regards to sex

꩜ Doting, almost like a service-dom. He likes taking care of you, but he also prefers to have control. Though not so controlling that he can’t ever be submissive

꩜ Major smooth-talker, like Gojo said, he has a silver tongue. Likes a mixture of praise and degradation. The degradation is usually teasing, and doesn’t extend past the usual slut, whore, etc. range…usually

꩜ Sometimes it comes out corny tho lmfao pls roast him when it does

꩜ Good at making you feel sexy. The type that will kiss you all over, giving extra affection to areas you aren’t as fond of. It’s difficult at first, but with time you become more comfortable

꩜ Very sensual, and intimate. He has good self-control, & is very patient so he can draw things out & drive you crazy. Like he can spend all-too-long just toying with your mouth, denying you the kiss you so desperately want. Barely brushing your lips and teeth with his thumb, before pinching your tongue between fingers. Wowee

꩜ Refuses to kiss you after absorbing curses. Even though no one else can taste them, the thought of tasting like that is enough for for him to refuse; he doesn’t want you to go through it too. Also, tasting shit-vomit in your mouth doesn’t exactly get the schlong schlinging, yknow

꩜ I suspect absorbing curses gives him an immediate surge of negative emotions, so he usually needs space. Sometimes he just wants to hold you, or be held, in silence

꩜ Can be surprisingly playful in bed

꩜ Really likes fucking you from below. Smooshing your soft breasts and stomach against him, and feeling your weight on top of him. Holding you still so he can rail you while whispering sappy, dirty shit in your ear. I’m passing out someone help

꩜ I’ve been poisoned by the perv!geto fics on here, and can’t see him as not being a secret pervert. Just slightly. It takes a while for him to reveal that side to you, since he tries to appear refined and respectable

꩜ Definitely the type that likes music in the background; I see him as someone who cares about music a lot in general. You know he likes you if he’s sharing song recs

꩜ Lots of playlists, and even has a few sex playlists with different moods. Usually prefers things that are chill, but has a few harder-hitting songs—this is why he needs the playlists, lol. He doesn’t like when the vibe changes too much

꩜ One time you sneak Cbat onto his playlist & make him laugh so much he loses his boner. At that point did you really win? Hmm?

꩜ Tbh he’s got game & is aware of it. You gotta humble him occasionally or else he becomes insufferable

Post-Incident

꩜ This Geto is a lot more self-centered, aggressive, and sadistic in bed. I wouldn’t say he’s a tyrant tho

꩜ Will legit punish you when you disobey, no funishments here. Big into humiliation

꩜ My heart is telling me shibari, especially the kind that can be hidden beneath clothes. Particular about the color, and will pick ones that flatter your skin tone. Obsessed with the way the ropes pinch and dig into your soft body. He’ll bite and squeeze the parts that spill over the ropes

꩜ One punishment would be walking around secretly tied up, but the style where one of the ropes rubs against your pussy as you walk. It sounds nice at first, but that bitch is gonna chafe for sure

꩜ He’s more selfish than before, yes, but he still maintains a proclivity for doting—we all see how he spoils his daughters! It’s like, he gets his turn first, and when it’s your turn, it's your turn. Multiple orgasm king. He’ll do it until you’re sobbing tho, so pray for your pussy

꩜ Loves making you choke on his cock—gets kind of intense with the bjs. Mfer needs to chill (and buy you some throat lozenges)

꩜ Doggystyle is his favorite without a doubt, he just wants to pin your face to the bed and watch your ass bounce

꩜ A lot of the previous stuff is still applicable to some degree, but I think he has a lot less patience at this point, and is waaaay more into degradation & domination

꩜ He gets legitimately mean sometimes lmfao it’s like you gotta have 2 safewords: one for physical intensity level, and the other for bullying level 😭

꩜ Would he sleep with a non-sorcerer? Honestly, I can’t decide. If he did tho, he would be SO FUCKING MEAN I don’t even want to think about it !!!

꩜ Does he use monkey in bed unironically?? Chat pls advise

[soupbabe]

Heard you wanted to be spammed with requests-

So uh- Idk if you do platonic headcanons but- maybe platonic Stardust crusaders with a pillar crusader? Doesn't matter what,,, gender the bby pillar person is,,, just,,, sweet pillar babe who's tall af- and totally acts like a doofus at times---

You dont have to do this tho uvu

Stardust Crusaders + Pillarman! Reader HCs

It says Pillar*man* in title, but reader will be gender neutral, I think that's just the species (?) name! Also I like doing platonic requests so I don't mind doing this at all ! <3

Joseph Joestar

He met you around the time he met Santana

You were stuck in the same Pillar as the youngest pillarman, also playing the role of a guard dog before you were turned into stone

The main difference between you and your (uh forced adopted?) brother is that your face broke out in a huge smile and giggles filled the room when he booped your nose and told you to be happy

You were loyal to Kars, but throughout the time in Battle Tendency that decreased due to the realization that he never cared about you and did abandon you without thought

Joseph was there to comfort you through it and you helped in defeating Kars in return

After BT, you were sent to be studied at the Speedwagon Foundation and years later they were able to replicate the red stone of Aja for you

Ultimate Y/N ! Ultimate Y/N !

Sunburn no more

You became a nature deity, similar to Kars

First thing you did when the study was done was prank Joseph into thinking that the Ultimate Lifeform came back

Although it didn't work all too well, your forced down smile and stifled giggles definitely wasn't a sign of Kars, despite the mighty wings you sprouted

You lived with Suzi Q and Joseph for the majority of your new life and you adored being apart of their lives

Also they did make you babysit Holly numerous times even though you had no idea what a human baby looked like until now

Should've learned their lesson when one time you were caught making a rough sketch of what would have been a traditional pillarman tattoo on a 10 year old Holly, claiming that it's needed for her to grow up big and strong like you

Although you weren't a stand user, you had experience fighting ancient supernatural beings stronger than some stand users and you were a deity among men. Joseph didn't wait to take you with him when he found out that Dio was making a return

When Holly got sick and it was clear the crusaders had to go to Egypt, you didn't hesitate to sign up. It was a rare time that you were serious and your loyalty to your aged best friend shined through. You loved his family and you saw Holly grow up, of course you'd be there for him

Throughout SDC, you mostly just laughed at him (mostly during the fight with Mariah) and cracked jokes with him to ease tense situations

Also that bit at the end of the show where he pretended that Dio possessed his body?? He got that from you and you both laughed while Jotaro gave you both a glare

Iggy

Oh my god you barked back.

Y'all gossip with each other in dog, you're a nature deity, of course you can understand him perfectly

Added bonus of your powers is that he naturally relaxes with you

Sleepy gremlin

Jotaro Kujo

It took him a while to warm up to you

You were raised by Kars and Esidisi, dealing people who come off as cold and have occasional outbursts of anger come natural to you

He first doesn't think of you as anything when he first saw you

It wasn't until you sized him up, easily towering over the 6'5" teen, his eyes widened in astonishment a little

He has no problems with you, you're respectful to his mother and you respect his privacy for the most part

You're real bonding moment was when you made a lame, but fairfly obscure, fish pun when beating up the stand user of Dark Blue Moon

You both talked about marine life, he was genuinely interested in your experiences with ancient marine species and types of life before evolution made them what they were today

Although he doesn't like the happy go lucky types of people (they remind him of his annoying fangirls) you'll be the exception

A moment you both really became friends was in the Steely Dan fight

You shot your hand up in excitement, offering to aid in beating the hell out of the cocky bastard that mistreated Jotaro and Joseph

It was a good moment for you both to have light hearted banter and you ended the fight with a smile and a high five

Although persuading Joot to do the high five went more like: "Jotaro please" "No." "Pleassseeeeeee" "*sigh* Leave me alone after this."

I thank that you can't see stands. I can only imagine the endless lighthearted fights you and Star Platinum would have, you both giving each other proud smiles of how strong your friend has become

Noriaki Kakyoin

You gave a welcoming and cheerful aura when he woke up at the Kujo household

Out of all Crusaders, I do like to think that you would think of Kakyoin as more of a little brother

Probably because you miss Santana a bit tbh, red hair and a more reserved personality?? Easy for that to happen

Although you do make sure to keep that distinction between the two separate beings, gotta be healthy bby

You were one to always encourage him to get more out of his shell and be the friend he deserved

He would encourage you to speak about Pillarman society/culture when you both roomed together

One time you pranked him by giving him a handful cherries and giving him a tiny jumpscare when the cherries actually did turn back into your hand

Sometimes you both make fun of Polnareff together </3

Jean-Pierre Polnareff

,,,,big tall gentle giant? Oh my god he would've melted for you at first

He flirted with you first thing after the fight with Avdol, only to be immediately shut down with your laughter

It's not the first time someone hit on you, but his attempt was so cheesy and bad that it was funny

Don't worry he didn't keep on flirting with you though, it was clear that you weren't interested

That and you told him that you were over 1000 years old

You both were outgoing so it wasn't a big surprise that you two got along so well

He actually enjoys your tales of past fights and how it was like not being able to be in the sun for the longest time

That and he asked for hair care tips, your hair is very beautiful to him and to keep it as such even when you were turned to stone? Impressive

You both are dumbasses together, but you're the one to save his ass all the time

Especially during the first fight with Hol Horse, guns can't kill you and even then your skin can create a harsh shell to soften the blow

You just laughed it off, said that it tickled, and encouraged Polnareff to chase after the (now) frightened cowboy

You and Polnareff also have a lot in common too and you both are able to be for each other when it comes to Polnareff's grief over his sister and you technically being the only pillarman alive

Omg Y/N I can't believe you have yourself an emotional support himbo I'm jealous

You're also a wingman/wingwoman for him, years and years of experience (and using Joseph in his younger years as a "what not to do" reference) led you to being the perfect helper in getting whoever Polnareff wants

Muhammad Avdol

He's read about the Pillarmen, but he never thought that they were actually real

So when he met you he was flabbergasted

You and Avdol's friendship is like him unintentionally parenting a 7 foot 5 year old on one of those kid leashes

He knows that almost nothing can cause you great harm, but he still worries

Because of that his favorite form of hanging out with you involves chatting over tea or showing you foods you might not be aware of

In all honesty, it's greatly appreciated since your diet switched from vampires and humans to absorbing like 2-3 raw cows every other week. Your "palate" is not as expansive as you may think

While in India, you were able to buy some Henna and Avdol was very open to you giving him a mock Pillar tattoo

He wore it with pride and was very greatful

Sometimes when he gets homesick you make your arm into a chicken, and although it isn't the real thing, he appreciates it

You also show him ancient Pillar rituals too and it's his favorite thing to listen to

In return, you bother him to show you how to read tarot and tell him about (in your words) "occult business~"

You balance each other out and Avdol cherishes you greatly

When the mission to Egypt was over, he did name a chicken after you btw

[ryozoro]

Hades Playlist - iv.

NOW PLAYING: Memories - David Guetta [ft. Kid Cudi]

an; yo, sorry if the transitions are a little sloppy; I’ll go back in and fix them when I have the chance :,)

last song 🔊 EP 🔊 playlist 🔊 next song

“We try to hide our feelings, but we forget that our eyes can speak.”

“Oh, fuck - sorry,” yn moved out from behind the counter, “forgive me, I’ve been daydreaming a bit. What kinda model do you got?” Yn said as she walked the nice lady to the side of the store where parts are displayed on the wall in lamented posters. “You’re very pretty, sorry if I keep staring.”

“Oh, fuck - sorry,” yn moved out from behind the counter, “forgive me, I’ve been daydreaming a bit. What kinda model do you got?” Yn said as she walked the nice lady to the side of the store where parts are displayed on the wall in lamented posters. “You’re very pretty, sorry if I keep staring.”

“Oh, fuck - sorry,” yn moved out from behind the counter, “forgive me, I’ve been daydreaming a bit. What kinda model do you got?” Yn said as she walked the nice lady to the side of the store where parts are displayed on the wall in lamented posters. “You’re very pretty, sorry if I keep staring.”

“HA,” the lady snorted as she played with her wedding ring, “you sound like my husband; you are like - the first girl I’ve met who has thought I was pretty. Thank you, it truly means a lot.” The lady smiled as she began pulling out her wallet and a few written down notes, “it’s uh - fuck hitto, you write like a kid, it’s a 2016 Ducati?”

“2016 Ducati Full Throttle,” yn said back with a small smile as the woman laughed again, “I’m assuming it’s your husband’s old bike?”

“Yeah,” she played with her ring as her smile softened, “he wants it in good condition before he gives it to one of our neighbors. It’s tradition for his - occupation..”

“He in a gang?” Yn asked as she began shuffling through shelves, “Don’t sweat it, I’m not gonna freak out over trivial matters.” The young ryuguji chuckled as she finally found the part she’s been looking for. “Here,” she place the part on the top, “its the G2 Throttle Tamer Ducati you needed. I’m assuming he’s still in a gang by the looks of how you covered for him, but don’t worry - it’d be hypocritical if I got scared you were involved with a delinquent.”

“Oh,” the lady sighed out, “thank gods. You can call me Kaku-san if it’s alright with you? Could you install the part by yourself? Sorry, my man is just always busy with work and was hoping to have someone install it for us..”

“I can’t personally install it, but my brother can! He gets back from his lunch break in about twenty minutes, so I know its a long wait -"

vrrr...vrrr...vrrr

"I'm so sorry, I'll just turn that off-," yn went to hit 'decline call.'

“I can wait, no sweat!” She smiled as she began digging through her mini backpack, “I need to check and see if my loser has ate lunch yet. I'll be outside for a bit." With that, 'Kaku-san' had walked out as she dialed her husband.

"Fucking hell," yn breathed out before hitting accept, "Inui-senpai, hey - what did you need?" Her breath hitched in her throat as she heard his low laugh.

"Just checking to see if my favorite girl has ate yet - so, have you?" Yn could just hear the smile that creeped upon his face, but for some reason - she didn't feel as in awe as she once did.

"Ah," yn scanned the shop and began totaling the price for the repair and writing further notes for her older brother, "no, I haven't ate yet, but I was planning on just heating up some of the leftovers that Souya-kun gave me."

"You know, if you keep being as cute and clingy as you are around him," yn could hear him moving around paper bags of what she assumed was to-go food, "shit, sorry. As I was saying, if you keep being so cuddle buddy with him, he's goin to fall for ya."

"Or," yn rolled her eyes as she began to document minor details on the log for each hour, "maybe, you're just reading in too deep on the fact that Souya is just an overall easily flustered person. Being a decent human does not make my kind actions count as flirting; if it does, well, you men around me are just dumb."

"Oh, don't be like that, princess," inui said in a rather sarcastic tone, "you know I'm just teasing you. Leaving that matter, I got you lunch - your favorite lunch, might I add."

"Thank you senpai, but -,"

"Inui-kun~ why aren't you getting off the phone yet? You promised that you would pay attention to only me today!" Yn heard a whiny voice - a woman’s whiny voice - through the phone, “I thought you said after we get lunch we’re just gonna lay in bed all day.” Inui mumbled something to her that seemed to have shut her up, clearing his throat, “sorry about that, are you still -,”

“I’m pretty busy and I plan on going out with a friend for my lunch break,” she cut him off, “have fun on your day off.”

yn knew she shouldn’t be angry; inui was never hers to begin with, but she was hoping that he’d at least spare her feelings. maybe this was good. maybe knowing that he has someone, even if it’s just a fuck buddy, will help her clear her mind and finally let go.

tani senpai <3: ft during your lunch break?

tani senpai <3: wait do you play cod? if you did that’s be kinda hot

tani senpai <3: I meant dope but hot works too

tani senpai <3: OH, wait rain check on the call, why don’t we just meet in person? ;) after all, I still have your necklace.

tani senpai <3: I cleaned it up because I was wearing it so I wouldn’t lose it.

tani senpai <3: lmfao I really made it a blood diamond at one point

kaku-san paid her total for the part and repair and ensured yn that she’d be back around five. sighing once the older woman left, yn went to check her phone that had been buzzing incessantly since she hung up on her brother’s best friend.

you: I’m gonna punch you in dick next time I see you :,) I was helping someone and I had to act like my phone was not going HAAM in my pocket

tani senpai <3: uh uh uh , leave ran jr. alone. he did nothing wrong :p plus, you’d have to kiss it better if you hurt him

you: I — WHEN ARE WE MEETING AND WHERE ?

tani senpai <3: [location] a small nightclub @ 16:00 tonight :) I would offer to buy your dinner, but you threatened my best man.

you: I hate you :,) but um,,, I don’t exactly know — what to wear to a nightclub..? Can I just go in a hoodie and some sweats and talk to the bouncer like “hey, I know the haitani bros — lemme in.”

tani senpai <3: LMAOOO,, nah I would to see you size the man up. as for clothes — you don’t have anything like ,, that radiates “hot girl” shit ?

you: no, if I’m not in my uniform — I’m either wearing my brother’s clothes with some cargo pants or sweats. sometimes I wear my own clothes, but that’s usually just merch.

tani senpai <3: as much as I want to see you in school uniform or in full need mode, I don’t think the bouncer would just let you in. OH, wait — fuck them. I forgot that I’m literally a god to them lmao,, wear what you want , I’ll wait outside for you and we can walk in together :)

you: wait really :,) I’m gonna try and make use of what I have tho ! I’ll lyk when I get there :)

tani senpai <3: wow so you’re not gonna ft me :|

you: you licherally said “rain check”

tani senpai <3: but I just finished my tasks for today, call me or I’m calling you

you: sorry , my brother just got back, I’ll talk to ya later :p

tani senpai <3: fine :| I’ll just bother Rin then.

the young ryuguji chuckled before locking and pocketing her phone once she noticed her brother’s presence. sure, she was still hurt at the fact that inui is currently hooking up - maybe even dating - another girl, but at least she could look to the eldest of the Haitanis and feel herself forgetting all about her first love.

“What ya lookin at brat,” Ken laughed out as he went to pat her head, “hey, who has you smiling like that?” He has always been protective; it was just his nature as a big brother. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad you’re happy, but if it’s about a boy I would LOVE to know who.”

“It’s just a stupid thing that emma-senpai sent me,” yn attempted to play it off, “anyways — how was lunch?”

“It was good,” draken said as he went to put his jumper back on, “but it coulda been better if inui didn’t bring his ‘friend girl’ around. She kept hittin on Mikey and asking about my necklace and I almost called you up to come deck her.” He quickly grabbed his chain and kissed the ‘Emma’ that hung in the middle just before tucking it back under his white tshirt; it was his routine.

“I woulda showed her that ‘Draken Uppercut’ if I was there big bro,” yn made a small show of what she did in hopes of making her brother smile.

“You’re an idiot,” his smirk plastered on his face in a proud manner, “but I don’t need you wasting your energy on her. It just — like who the hell do you think you are touching a random stranger, especially around their neck. Like who?” She could tell that he was upset that he couldn’t have done anything; Draken was just brought up to be extremely respectful. “The worst part,” he threw a wrench at his ‘anger wall,’ “she kept asking shit like: “who names their kid emma,” “was she at least pretty,” and the one where I almost put my hands on her, “is she dead or something? what you just can’t let go?” Yn, I was so close to knocking her daylights out. She honestly got lucky takemitchy had tackled Mikey, or she woulda got her shit rocked.”

“I,” yn was at a lost for words; she had never heard someone disrespect any of her family this openly, “what the fuck did inui say? Did he just sit there through all this shit?” she moved from behind the counter and rolled out one of the bikes he was scheduled to work on, “please don’t tell me he did.”

“No,” draken rolled his eyes as he recalled the previous events, “just prop it up by station one, gotta get the new 340 mm rear air shock absorber suspensions, oh, could you jot that down, please? But nah, this fucker,” draken lifted the bike up so the back was in the air and put it on a lift, “just found every way to piss me off. Like I love him, but he fucked up today. He told us ‘sorry, she’s just cranky so don’t take her words to heart.’ If she called me ugly or some dumb shit I’d be okay, but he really told me not to take to heart the fact that she spoke on Emma’s name like that.” He tugged on his dark locks as he undid it, “could ya put it back up for me, it’s not tight enough.”

“I gotcha big man,” yn gently massaged his scalp as she went to put his hair in a tight but loose bun, “you know, she’s probably really proud of you right now. Bet she’s smilin up there too.” she could feel his tenseness fade as she comforted him; she’d do this one hundred times a day if it meant that he’d finally stop blaming himself for all those years ago. “There,” she smoothed over the top of his head once more, “all done.”

“Thank ya,” he hums as he begins to work on the bike, “oh, do you want to come with later? me and the boys are gonna head to mitsuyas before we go out so you can hang out with the other brats.”

“Actually, I um,” yn felt the sweat gather in her palms as she walked back to her station, “I was wondering if I could go out tonight - with a friend..”

“What friend,” yn flinched as her brother snapped his gaze towards her, “do I know said friend?”

“N-no,” she cleared her throat and began writing on sticky notes and receipts, “he — they were nice to meet when I first got back in town and offered to hang out - so, I felt that it’d be rude to -,”

“Nah, you’re not going,” draken turned his attention back to the bike, “you’re either going to stay home or hang out at mitsu’s house. No in between.”

“That’s fair,” yn sighed, “can I just have a reason as to why I can’t go?”

“Because I don’t know em and the streets have been rainin havoc since Mikey got out,” he sighed as he put his tools down. He stood up to full height and gently patted the leather seat of the propped up bike, “I just don’t want you to get hurt, bub. Yer my number one right now and I don’t know if I’ll be able to go on if you even get the slightest bit of hurt.”

“I understand big draco,” she laughed softly, “Can I just stay in then? I promise I won’t leave; I just feel like being in my own bed tonight.”

“Anything for you, yer majesty.” Ken smiled as he concluded that he had the best sister in the world.

—

“Alright, yn, we’re about to head out,” her big brother knocked on her door, “can ya at come say bye?”

“Fuck,” yn got up and quickly put an oversized sweater and some basketball shorts that reached just below her knees, “gimme a minute! Sorry, I was taking a nap.”

“We’ll be out in the living room, dumbass.”

If anything, yn was just glad none of them walked into her room to see her basically bare figure - shout out to her Ken-nii for knowing his sister. Once fully covered, yn made her wait out the room and noticed everyone sitting on the couch in the living room, even inui.

“Yn,” souya barked out, “you’ve ate right? If you haven’t ‘m gonna fight you!” He stood up and approached yn as all the other boys smirked and whistled in the back. “You guys shut the hell up.!”

“Neh neh,” nahoya laughed, “you need to stop bein so flirty over there, angry.” Smiley always teased angry, but that was just brotherly nature; however, if anyone else were to continuously pick on angry — it wouldn’t be a shock if Smiley was on top of them and imprinting the curve of his elbow into their forehead. “He just missed you, little Ryu. Make sure to let us know if anything happens-,”

“We’re going to get Ken-chin laid,” Mikey said with a mischievous smirk as he began pushing his taller friend out the front door. “Choi~.” The other boys followed either patting her head before they left or hip bumping her; hakkai decided to be the odd man out and hug yn to his chest and dramatically walk out the door as if they won’t see each other for fourth years.

“BYE,” she poked her head out then quickly shut the door and disregarded her hoodie, “now that they’re gone..”

VRRR..VRRR….VRR

“OH MY GOD, WHAT,” picking her phone up off the coffee table she fell back onto the couch, “what do they want-,”

Incoming FaceTime: tani senpai <3

“Shit.!” Yn quickly sat up and answered with an apologetic face, “heeeey, what’s up?”

“You look cozy,” he eyed the tops of her shoulders with only her bra straps decorating them, “cozy enough to make a man stand outside for, hmm - what does my watch read - thirty minutes.”

Yn looked thoroughly confused as she cocked her head to the side and fell back, “what does you standing outside of some random building have to do with me?”

“Did you really —,” she watched the man shift and bring her golden chain into view, “you were supposed to meet me tonight in order to get your precious necklace back. You stood me up and now I look like a fucking idiot who got stood up.” He deadpanned into the camera and had a small pout, “you had all the guys laughin at me, darlin. You really disappointed me.” Yn felt her heart slowly tear; she hated disappointing anyone. “If you were going to show up you could have at least said so.” Just as she was about to speak, Ran hung up and left her to wade in her thoughts.

—

You: Ran-senpai, I promise it was on accident ! I meant to tell you earlier, but it just slipped my mind (read 8:44 p.m.)

You: pls forgive me :,) I fell asleep as soon as we got off work and came home; draken-nii told me to rest up since I can’t go out so I figured I might as well (read 8:45 p.m.)

You: yk if you’re going to read my text, the least ya could do would be to respond. I said I’m sorry. (read 8:47 p.m.)

You: yer a fucking brat , man child who throws a fit and refuses to actually try and listen to others when they try to talk it out with you. (read 8:48 p.m.)

You: self made bitch. (read 8:50 p.m.)

You: yk what, fuck you. I tried to be nice to you and I actually enjoyed talking to you for what-? A week ? You’re mad because I can’t just do what I want? Sorry I’m a great sister who doesn’t want to make her brother worry. Sorry I don’t just abide and do as you please because I’m not a fucking sheep. Keep the necklace for all I care; I’ll just get a new one. Stupid cunt. (read 8:52 p.m.)

You: Fuck face. You probably just wanted to get in my pants and dip; fuck you. Leave me alone, if I see you on the street; I don’t give a fuck if I get shot or jumped, I’m gonna punch you in the throat, pussy ass bitch. (read 8:54 p.m.)

tani senpai <3: give me your address so I can drop this necklace off and get out of your life since you so desperately want me to.

You: no way in hell, just keep it.

tani senpai <3: if you don’t want it then I’ll just drop it off with your brother tomorrow.

You: you fucking —

You: ugh, fine, just drop the shit off and leave . [location] (read 8:59 p.m.)

—

With a knock at the Ryuguji’s front door, yn shrugged the jacket back on and checked through the peep hole. After noticing it was the infamous older brother of the Haitani duo, she quickly yanked him inside and made sure to lock the door quickly.

“You know drop offs don’t usually require the said delivery man to be in the house, correct?” He asked with a bored expression as his eyes scanned the small space. “‘S cute for someone with you and your brother’s income.”

“I only pulled you in because my neighbors like to talk about what goes on throughout everyone’s house,” she rolled her eyes and pulled in the strings of her sweater, “hurry up and give me the fucking necklace so you can leave.”

“I did all the work of coming here,” he brushed past her as he took off his shoes and made his way to sit on the couch, “the least you could do is offer me a drink or some food.” Ran laid back into the cushions and spread his long legs as he slowly turned his gaze to the TV, some random anime blasting in the background. “Well, if you don’t mind, a water will do.”

“Cute for someone with you and your brother’s income,” she mocked as mumbled under her breath and grabbed him a water bottle from the fridge, “here, your majesty.” she tossed it into his lap and stood in between his legs to block the tv and make him focus all of his attention onto her.

“To what do I owe you?”

“My necklace, home invader.”

“Take it off of me then,” he raised an eyebrow, “you didn’t expect me to do that as well did you?”

“Fine,” her shorts hiking up as she moved to straddle his hips, she took note that he had been eyeing her thighs since he arrived, “I’ll take off the stupid thing.” She buried her chin into the crook of his neck, “just sit still so I can -,”

“You know,” he flattened his palms against the bare tops her knees and barely sliding his finger tips up the rim of the pants, “you hiding more just makes me want to see you in less.”

“Heh,” she chuckled as she slowly wrapped her arms around the middle of his torso, “yer a fucking perv as well as a bastard.”

“You know your necklace isn’t dangling along my spine, right?” He chuckled as he gently kneaded her flesh, “am I making you uncomfortable?”

“Nah, feels nice,” she chuckles when she feels him gently dig his finger tips into her skin, “‘m makin you uncomfortable?”

“nah,” he jokingly mocked her as he took his hands and slid them farther up to the tops of he thigh, “boxers?” He pulled back slightly so he could rest his forehead on hers.

“mm, never really wanted to bother ken-nii when he did the laundry, so I just get boxers,” she laughed, “what? Did you honestly think I’d be chilling at home in a thong or something? Women gotta breathe too.” she felt her heartbeat pick up as his finger tips danced along the material; yn wondered if he could tell that she’s never had a boyfriend as she lacked - in takemichi’s words - ‘ettick.’

“You are respectful yet have anger issues, a smart mouth, and embody the term ‘I don’t give a fuck,” he swiftly took both hands from under the clothing and lightly placed them on either side of her face, “you are so fucking gorgeous, didya know that?” His rings were cold on her heated skin, making her smile softly.

“..you know,” yn laid a chaste kiss on the bonten’s left wrist, “… ‘msorry..”

“Couldn’t hear ya,” he chuckled deeply as he maneuvered his right hand at the back of her neck and squeezed lightly, “repeat it more clear this time. You wanna be a good girl, right? Be the best girl you can and repeat it.~”

“Motherfu-, AHEM,” she scrunched her face up in hopes of hiding how happy it made her to have a second chance at being a ‘good girl,’ “‘m sorry you don’t know how to communicate.”

“Ah ah ah,” he squeezed his right hand a little tighter, causing her to ground her hips down and lean forward into his chest, “that’s not what I want to hear.” she heard him groan, but she was too busy fighting the battle in her head as to why she felt more secure when he gripped her tighter.

“I said,” she nuzzled her nose between his lean pecs, “‘m sorry.” Yn got up and placed one of her hands at the base of the bonten tattoo and squeezed gently along his Adam’s apple, “I’m not saying it again, so you better have heard me the first time.”

“You’re so angry; a wolf under sheep’s clothes you are,” ran hummed as he leaned back in, noses brushing, “yer forgiven little lamb. I don’t know - you barking up the wrong tree knowing that I could hurt you just turns me —,”

BZZT, BING.

Both bodies had turned their heads towards the door in confusion.

“Are you expecting guests?”

“No,” yn quickly got off of Ran’s lap and grabbed the crowbar that rested by the umbrellas, “fuck, if it’s those fucking assholes that want to fight ken-nii, ‘m gonna kill em.” She went to look through the peep hole, only to be pulled back to the older man’s chest.

“Let me get it,” ran signaled for her to hide behind the kitchen wall as he pulled out his signature baton that hung on his belt loop, “be quiet, little one.” Ran opened the door to a young man, about a year or two older than yn, dressed in a pizza delivery uniform with 3 large boxes in his hand. If he wasn’t just some kid, the Haitani would’ve beat him just for openly sporting a scowl towards him.

“Oh, hi sir, are you,” the young man looked back at the receipt then back at the Bonten executive, “Kawata Souya? I have one pepperoni, Hawaiian, and plain cheese.” Ran’s head shot to the side at the sound of you rushing towards the door.

“A-ah ! That would be me I guess,” yn guided Ran’s hand behind her to hide the weapon as she widely opened the front door, “sorry my brother’s friend probably ordered it since they went out -,”

“Yn?”

“Huh,” she looked up at the man, “oh shit, hongo?! I thought you were in Osaka right now for Uni; you still play there, right?”

“Yeah,” the worker replied, “oh shit, this like.. a date or something?” He threw his glare at Ran and softened his features once his gaze returned back to the young ryuguji. “Nah, nevermind, that’d be dumb considering you swore off dating,” the bonten men felt as if his heart had been pricked with a small needle, “especially since you used to swear to draken we were gonna get married and stay together forever and ever.” Yn was visibly embarrassed as Ran watched her take the pizza from Hongo’s hands and start trying to kick him off the porch. “Wait, before I go,” he said as he jotted down his number on the receipt, “let me know when you’re free. Maybe ya could come see me play one of these days? Summer games start back up next week so I’ll be headin-,”

Ran pulled on yn’s wrist before slamming the door, interrupting Hongo’s spill. He made show of how hard he locked the door so anyone outside could hear that the house was closed and not expecting anymore visits.

“Ooo,” yn placed the pizzas down onto the small kitchen table and looped her arms around Ran’a slim waist, “are you upset yer not getting all the attention?” She giggled as she kissed the symbol that marked the center of his neck.

“Why would I be upset over some 4 incher maxed college boy,” he smirked as he brought his hand to the side of her face and let his thumb brush along her bottom lip, “plus, if anything he should be the one whose upset. You can’t hate me or push me away if you wanted to; your desire for me to show you the depths of the world is visible just by looking in your eyes.” Yn felt her breath quickening and her head going numb as his words made way into her; making her feel far more intoxicated than any alcohol or drug could have ever done. “You can try to deny it, but what sane person would invite one of the most violent people with the most blood on his hands into her home?”

“I’m the farthest thing from sane,” yn breathed out as she placed a chaste kiss onto his lips before burying her face under his chin, “because I find myself wanting to do this more. I’m so glad I don’t look where I’m going when I’m on my bike.” Ran laughed as he connected their lips, but this time he deepened the kiss; her knees gave out and his tongue slipped in making her lungs just as weak.

“Princess, youre fucking gorgeous,” he broke away before holding her in his strong arms, “but I don’t want to just ‘get in your pants.’ I want-,”

“Good, because im not easy,” she cut him off as she tried to catch her breath.

Ran laughed as he dragged her back to the couch, leaving her to fetch each of them two big slices of cheese pizza. He sat beside her, kissing her temple, and devouring the free meal, “yknow, this taste ten times better than any food at the shitty night club.”

“Don’t talk with your mouth full,” she said as she harshly swallowed the dough, “ish bad mannirs..”

“You,” he leaned in and kissed the sauces covered corners of her mouth, “also taste better than any food at the club.”

“Well you’ll have to wait until you can taste all of me,” catching ran off guard - she flirted back, “after all, the fruit taste better when ripened.”

—

“Princess,” Ran attempted to shake her tired figure off him, “believe me, I want to stay. I really do, but I don’t want to cause a stir or heated argument between you and your brother.”

“We we’re just playing Mario kart and you said,” yn stared up at him with an unimpressed glare, “I’d fuck you on the counter of the pizza place just to embarrass that pizza boy,’ and now you’re scared to be caught by my brother?”

“Not scared,” he bit the tip of her nose gently before freeing himself of her limbs, “just cautious. Want my little girl not to have any complications; plus, I’d have to kill your brother if he made you cry.”

“Wait,” she pulled his sleeve, gaining his attention, “text me when you get back home.” He leaned down and kissed her forehead before making his way out her front door, “okay, little lamb.”

—

Within the span of 4 hours, draken arrived back home and yn managed to make the house rid of any clues of guest over; she even masked the smell of Ran’s cologne by bringing the box of pizza to the living room to spread the smell of grease and regrets. She rested easy on the couch, allowing some random movie to lull her into the comfortable cushions.

draken sobered up a bit after he came back and went to get a late night snack from the kitchen. spotting his sister on the couch, he chuckled softly as he gently rubbed her forehead, “thanks for bein a little angel, ya gremlin.”

it’s as if the gods above could sense draken’s obliviousness and caused yns to vibrate several times. Much to her brother’s curiosity, he checked the notifications and felt his blood boil.

—

tani senpai <3: hey, made it back home. hope you rest easy, princess. thnx. rin also says “thanks for allowing him to annoy you so I could catch a break

inui. : yn can we talk? I promise it’s not what you thought; idk what to say. Just remember, you’ll always be my favorite girl ..<3 lmk when you’re ready.

inui. : idk jus tseeing yuor brothr without you attached at the hip just made my stomak hurt, I wanna see you more.. maybe it’s because I’m drunk and finally thinking sobre, but yer awlays my fav

inui. : look, unsot having talked for like — a weakk? Has Ben eating me up, I really miss you. I’ll see you at the shop ? dream well, pretty girl.

takemitchy: BESTIE,, DONT FORGET YOU OWE ME A REMATCH BECAUSE YOU HAD YOUR BROTHER PUT ME IN A CHOKEHOLD SO YOU COULD CROSS THE FINISH LINE

takemitchy: wait, can you send me your brownie recipe ??? Hina loved them :,)

—

he didn’t know whether to be upset at the fact that there was some random “tani senpai” texting his sister and he didn’t know jack shit about them, or the fact one of his best friends was talking and drunk texting his sister. Nothing a beer and pizza can’t help.

After grabbing a full pizza box plus some beer and bringing it to his room, ken stared at his tv processing everything he just seen. Maybe this is just a dream? Maybe he’s so dizzy from the dancing and whiskey that he can’t seem to think straight? There’s just no way that his little sister would actually go for his friend; let alone, his friend returning the affection, right ? There’s absolutely no way that his sister would be letting random boys in the house. Nah, maybe he’s just scared of letting her go to university and growing up on him. This is all just a shitty nightmare.

“Whatever,” draken burped out as he took the cheap beer bottle to his lips, inhaling the last of the liquid, “heh, maybe it’s kisaki’s ghost hauntin my head with dumb thoughts.” He felt himself drifting to sleep, but stirred once he realized he almost forgot his nightly routine. Untucking the chain from his neck and pulling it towards his chapped lips, “g’night emma.”

Taglist: @richiyo @haitanigigi @chifuyusprincess @legravalice @l-ilysm @katariinasworld

[cinnamonest]

please spare more crumbs for the sex slave au with diluc and kaeya's meimei,,

Thank you for giving me permission to be more depraved this is from forever ago but I'm slowly getting the "forever ago" stuff done lol

I love the concept tho, especially Crepus buying a lil qt and having to teach them how to be good masters bc they’re both dumb clueless boys, bless.

TWs: slavery, implied incest or pseudo-incest, could give vibes as under//age (nothing is specified but I guess it could strike some people that way so I wanna be cautious), noncon/dubcon, mentions of anal, misogynistic, awful depraved and nasty -------------------------------------

God. The arguing. The rivalry. The chaos. Like, with some poly yanderes/owner/master relationships, the two work *together* and focus attention on controlling *you,* but these two are... not like that. They have a lot of rivalry going on half the time.

Now, this could be Crepus buying a slave and basically indoctrinating her as a meimei, but of course, if you actually are one of the boys' bio sis, the one is gonna claim some authenticity - you know, the whole "well she's my real sister, not yours, so I get to fuck her more" kind of thing. The other appeals to "well she's your real sister which makes you worse," and it devolves into arguing back and forth about whether or not the blood relation makes them more or less justified in sticking their dick in you and claiming more rights to meimei's time and attention. Not just to each other either, it's also directed at you -- the whole "hey, I'm your real big brother, so you should spend more time with me than him" kind of thing. It actually can get pretty annoying over time, you have to constantly be soothing not one but TWO egos in desperate need of affirmation. But here I’m going more with the idea of Crepus just buying them a sweet meimei. Diluc's more... patient. He teaches you "touch commands" -- little learned gestures, like a dog. Just the lightest touch on your spine and you know it's a clear message to arch your back, a hand under your chin and thumb pressed against it has you instinctively opening your mouth, a tap to the back of your neck and you kneel. Little gestures that can bend your body and mind with minimal effort. Despite that though, Kaeya is actually the master of The Look™ - the kind that can make you go quiet and apologize in a mere instant when given. But because you know it, expect him to be even harsher if you defy it. Sometimes in your little tantrums you get so mad that you'll have the audacity to ignore that look and keep whining or being a brat which does not end well.

Meimei is what you call free use - any time, anywhere. One of the most important lessons Crepus told you when he first got you/when you were old enough is that you are never to deny the boys any of your holes if they want it. This is just as important for the boys to learn as it is you, he's a big believer in the whole, "if you act like a good proper master, the slave will naturally fall into their role too" sort of thing, so he teaches them to be forceful and dominating, not hesitant to do what they want -- if they're clear on what they want and make known their expectation of your obedience (and the subtle implication of threat of punishments if not complied with), you'll fall into the submissive role you're meant for and naturally want to submit to them like a good little wife-sister-slave.

So, whenever one of them beckons you over, you smile and ask them how you can help. Your brothers work so hard, and it's the least you can do to take care of their needs. Sometimes they just want you to sit on their lap, wrap your arms around them, sit there a while in silence when they're sad, sometimes they want to vent to you about things when they're frustrated, sometimes they want to use you. Of course, the former two usually leads to the last anyway. You're... emotional support pussy. There's important rules and practices to be followed, it's actually rules for all three of you, several apply to them, actually, as Crepus taught you before he died, and it's become second nature for the boys (it works in their benefit, after all). #1. You can never be left alone. There's a lot of reasons for this, but primarily it's in your instinct to get fucked, all you know how to do is take cock, so if you were left alone you may very well go running off and jump onto the first thing with a dick, and they can't have that. So basically you either have to be with one of them, within their sight, or accounted for in some way - there's a couple of installed tethering hooks and the like on the walls  in several areas of the house you can be attached to. But, really, they're not usually necessary, with two very horny males running around you're busy most of the time, even if it's a more passive task. You spend a lot of time sitting on someone's lap, sometimes taking naps throughout the day with whoever decides they're tired at the moment. So, you spend more or less every waking moment with one or both -- well, every sleeping moment too, of course you don't have you own room. You alternate nights between the two just like you were told to. There's not really any task you do alone. Bathing? It's always gotta be with one or the other. Sleeping? Always with one or the other. Even when you're cooking -- because obviously you do that, they wouldn't even know how to, since you've always done it -- one is always standing beside you, talking to you, or sitting a ways over in a chair as they vent about their day. Oh, speaking of that, as aforementioned, you're there for emotional burdens too. When one has had a long day, what would they do if meimei wasn't there for them to vent and whine and complain to? You've always been taught to be a good listener. Don't interrupt. Listen to everything and don't zone out. Don't oppose their actions when they're telling you about their problems, always tell them they were in the right and comfort them. Smile while you listen. That's how you were trained to respond when one of them has some burden to unload on you. Always offer your body to make them happy. That's the last part, and they've never not taken you up on the offer. That being said, sometimes you have to... motivate them. Push a little bit. You see, you're just so sweet that sometimes your brothers might want to just spend the entire day in bed with you. So you have to motivate them to do their actual work. Tell them that if they don't go to work, if they stay in bed all day inside you, how are you supposed to clean the house and make dinner for them? So they sigh and accept you're right and go off to work after all. And, again, the rule is important for them too. You can never run off on your own, but they're also vigilant not to ever leave you alone. When you're first bought, Crepus had to constantly pull them back inside the house when they'd go to another room for something because see, you're leaving her all alone and she's going to go running off and it'll be your fault. So they had to be conditioned to communicate and make sure you were always accounted for, taught how to restrain you properly. If you were left in a room, Crepus would come by to make sure they remembered to lock you inside, would test the tightness of your leash if you were tethered to something, and sigh and chastise if one of them neglected to do it right. #2. No getting off on your own, this is a rule they have to help enforce. It's a waste - you have TWO big brothers, surely one of them is always going to be available and eager, so really, getting yours without either of them involved is pretty selfish, and worthy of punishment if found doing so. If for whatever reason they're all too busy, you have the option of asking permission to ride and grind on their thigh, but no cumming until they're done with their task and are available to properly handle it. Crepus is particularly adamant about this rule, as well as enforcing the same mentality in them, doesn't think it's appropriate for a girl to be so selfishly absorbed with pleasure when she should  be giving it to the men that own her. For one, a girl should be spending all of her time dedicated to serving her masters in some way, and two, they're both needy boys that would be eager to fuck you at any time. So really, masturbating is an act of defiance and will be dealt with as such. #3. No favoritism! There will be times where you may feel mad at one or the other, and sure you have different levels of how much you can tolerate certain behaviors... But, you have to train yourself against that. Meimei should have no limits of what she can tolerate - that's part of your whole purpose. So even when you're mad at one, you can't try to avoid that one and go to the other, you still need to divide your time, energy, and body equally. Don't talk bad about one to the other, don't try to spend more time with one or the other at any time. This also includes pitting them against each other through jealousy, it's a huge no-no. Don't try to make one jealous of the other. If they catch you doing that, sooner or later they'll realize what you're doing, and deal with it, usually harshly, since it's seen as a high-ranking offense. In fact, you really shouldn't be mad, ever. Your big brothers know what's best for you, so if you're mad over a disagreement, you just need to accept that they're right and you're wrong and that you need to submit to their will. Outwardly showing you're upset is bratty behavior, things like pouting or giving them the cold shoulder are punishable offenses. #4. You're also a peacekeeper. Diffuse fights. Both of your big brothers can be... stubborn, prideful individuals. This leads to pretty regular conflict over this and that. It's meimei's job to help with that, calm them down with a smile on your face. Or, if it works better, with some tears and a quivering lip. Please don't fight, you say with watery eyes, sniffling, and well, they can't help but feel bad, they both turn their attention to you rather than to each other and apologize for making you upset.  And if they're having one if their regular it's my turn kind of arguments, your job is to propose the easy solution of sharing. You have more than one hole to fuck, and can easily cuddle one on each side. It should be an obvious solution. Oh, and they fight sometimes over who gets to do what, who spends time with you, but doing different things rather than both wanting to do the same thing. One is sitting at his desk to work and he can't be expected to focus on work without meimei sitting on his lap and cockwarming him of course, but the other says he wants to take a nap and how is he supposed to sleep if he can't rest his head on meimei's tits? There is only so much of her to go around! But they will legit adjust their schedules to make sure they get alone time. And are very nitpicky about it -- wait why do *you* get an extra hour on Tuesday?? If you get that I deserve an extra hour on Thursday -- that sort of thing. You're supposed to be able to propose such ideas. It's your job to come up with solutions that make everyone happy. You can cockwarm one brother while he works and tell the other that hey, if he postpones the nap, you can just ride him until he cums and can sleep right? Things like that. #5 Actually isn't for you, it's for them, regarding punishment. When Crepus got you, the poor boys didn't really know how to go about doing it, so they had to be taught. It's important to be a good master and know how to do so adequately, you know? To not let anger get the better of them and go too far, since sometimes they might get too mad about something. In fact, a good trick, he teaches them, is to just tie you up, and go blow off some steam before coming back to punish you. That way they won't go too far, and you'll have to wait around in fear for a while, which just helps the punishment sink in better. But at the same time, don't go too light. No matter how much you whimper, he says, don't feel pity for her and go lax. It's intentional, it's just your nature to try and fake-cry to try and get out of it. You did something bad, so they shouldn't feel bad about it, even if you cry and squeal. It's the right thing to do. You're supposed to cry, you're supposed to say it hurts and whimper, that just means they're doing it right. But of course, there's some sensitivities to be taught. If they have you bent over a knee, they have to make sure to only hit your ass and the back of your thighs, make sure not to go up too high and hit your back, since that could cause injury. If they're gonna fuck your ass as punishment, make sure to use a certain amount of lube. Things like that, it's important to be good masters, just as much as it is your job to be a good little slave.

And to remember, of course, that meimei is... an inferior little creature. Don't get mad at her just because she's stupid and doesn't understand this or that, that's not her fault. She can't be expected to be smart or responsible, that's their job. But also, don't feel pressured to give her what she wants just because she wants it or anything. And, most importantly, don't start having self-doubt and ever think she might be right about something while they're wrong, because obviously that can't be the case. You might get defiant and try to insist you know better than them, act like you're just as capable of something as they are, or think your opinions matter or something, but in that case, they have a responsibility to remind you of your place.

[vaguely-concerned]

The Mandalorian Chapter 11; the rewatch edition

I have found a bit more enthusiasm for this one on the rewatch, so here goes!

- din snapping ‘I’m trying my best here!’ in a vaguely annoyed tone as his entire ship is going up in flames around him because he mostly doesn’t get angry as much as sulky... the height of cinema 

- I love frog husband’s clothes, because they’re in a very similar style and colour scheme to frog lady’s but also incorporate the knitwear we see on the people of trask, so it both underlines his belonging with her and implies that he’s been on this moon for quite a while, they may have been apart for some time  

especially his scarf is a darling detail and there’s a bit of contrast in texture to it next to his wife’s, it’s nice. he’s wearing a similar kind of vest to what we see on the fishermen later, too 

- I think my favourite part of this entire episode (well second after din cradling the baby against him after nearly drowning) is just the design and Vibe of the planet and especially this harbour

for one I LOVE that it’s shown that even in the middle of the day it’s dark enough that the electric lights are still on when it’s overcast (it reminds me a bit of norway during the winter, actually, when dawn just never quite breaks and then slinks off in embarrassment before it’s even noon). and there’s also the... sails? nets? hanging around looking almost like flags, which are very Aesthetic but god knows what they’re for. maybe for drying fish on in the summer? 

I think the building in the distance behind frog husband’s back here is a lighthouse? or it could be one of those towers for loading you see when they scout out the empire ship too, I suppose!

and one for my strange obsession with Texture on this show: these fabric-covered crates!!! they look exactly as dingy and moldy as you’d expect them to be in this climate, I wonder what they’re for (& I vaguely want to touch them) 

- from the sound of it din’s vibroknife is uh ‘on’ when he pokes the squid thing, and he also goes for the tentacle the furthest away from the baby <3

proof the calamari flan have been scratched up a bit during all that time in din’s pockets! (the attention to detail in this show sometimes istg) 

- this is 100% me reading too much into things again, call the overthinking police I’ll do my time meekly lol, but the boat looks a little bit like the mudhorn signet from this angle: 

again din keeps his hand on or sooo close to his blaster in this entire scene, he knows this is sketch as all hell 

a) once again I want to praise the effects team for how GOOD the aliens look in this episode holy shit and b) the hell is this dude wearing on the straps of his overalls tho 

- the dude mando (axe woves) uses his little... wrist launcher thing to shoot with to finish two off the fishermen, so my theory that they can be loaded with other things than the whistling birds for slightly less effective use (maybe without the level of honing we’ve seen din’s be able to do?) is looking good!

- din actually has quite good form when diving into the water, I’m guessing he can swim at least tolerably when not in full armour, being stabbed at from all directions, having just had his son eaten by a sea monster and also being trapped in with said sea monster (I’m a strong swimmer and I can tell you that there’s a reason they make you swim with clothes on from time to time to see how hard it is, it sucks. with metal plates strapped all over you as well? yeah good luck) people don’t tend to hit the water that gracefully without some kind of training in my experience lol. might be some of the training with the jet pack has carried over too, considering he throws himself off that cliff in chapter 12 with similar confidence?

it’s interesting that they’re once again showing us a threat where the armour doesn’t help and even hinders him. we’re so used to the ways it can make him near-invincible, but it can also drag him down (literally, in this case. aha ha ha. well if I’m not here for my own entertainment then what am I here for honestly)

- din’s voice sounding like he’s just on the verge of crying as he cradles the baby (and the sound he makes as he realizes the baby’s alive) is my kryptonite, turns out. fucking breaks my heart into tiny pieces every time, I would die for this man and he wouldn’t let me

- in support of din’s paranoia: so far this season we haven’t been able to go five minutes without someone talking about peeling the precious beskar off a mandalorian corpse, I can see why his mind was primed to move in one particular way there

- I think the fabric of din’s cape has been treated with something that makes it waterproof; the water seems to pearl on top of it rather than soak in! can you imagine how heavy it would get if it did absorb water tho christ

(a bit hard to see at this size but that’s what it looked like to me close up anyway! could also be that it’s wool and that’s why it looks that way but I prefer an elaborate sci-fi explanation here, because it doesn’t look particularly weighed down afterwards) might also explain why he doesn’t seem worried about it catching on fire when he uses the jetpack haha, maybe this is something the mandos do with fabric they’re going to use for a long time 

I also enjoy part of the gambeson/undersuit thing poking up from under the shoulder pauldron and cape; I think this is about as disheveled as we’ve seen him since immediately post-mudhorn 

- the sound mixing in this scene, where din’s breathing is layered a bit over everything else so you almost feel like you’re in the helmet with him listening to what the others are saying........ oh my GOD, it embeds you so deeply in his POV but so subtly 

- not to be biased or anything... but din and the armorer’s armour design is so vastly superior to these guys it shouldn’t even be a competition lol 

din looks like an honest to god knight in shining armour except also sci-fi western and the armorer looks like a fucking war goddess from a time beyond memory; the clone wars mandos look like high end cosplayers (eh maybe it’s just my dislike for the boobplates that has me so 😒 lol. also a lot of dudes were very shitty about that whole thing and I don’t say anything but the ‘vaguely-concerned will remember this’ telltale message pops up in the corner every time) 

moment of saltiness over: I do like the differentiation between their individual character designs 

the differences in body type and helmet design is nice! they look like a unified team, but with individuality. I suspect the ladies have those belts and their armour plates on the hips instead of the front of the thighs to emphasize the ‘female’ silhouette, which. okay fine whatever

- bo katan looks very pointedly down at the baby after saying ‘a group of religious zealots who want to return to the ancient ways’ which makes me VERY nervous for reasons I can’t quite articulate

- the mournful guitar version of the mando theme as din watches the sunset...... hmmmmngh (this might be some Symbolism happening to us folks strap in for the identity crisis he still hasn’t processed) 

- I Cannot get over din being so unimpressed by and uninterested in bo katan’s ‘retake mandalore’ sales pitch from literally the first moment dfhasdkjfhsad sorry lady kryze this man just does not do main quest shit, he’s all side quests all the time and that’s why I love him  

- as someone who after chapter 8 wrote a whole-ass fic that was wholly & exclusively about din telling the baby he’ll always come back for him... some of the shit he’s been saying this season does feel like it’s been written to mercilessly victimize me, personally and specifically 

- guessing this structure in the background is the traffic control tower! doesn’t really matter, I just thought it was neat

- this part of the soundtrack is called ‘ship o hoj, mandalorians!’, which I found incredibly charming haha (it’s ‘ship ahoy’ except how you write it in swedish, good one herr göranson)  

- bo katan is vague about who exactly the new mand’alor would be if they took back mandalore to begin with, she doesn’t specify she is planning to be the ruler until she’s already got din on the ship and in no position to refuse to help. gotta respect the grift at least lol  

I do love her voice, though, it reminds me a bit of jennifer hale as shepard

- “I need to get back to my ship, with the foundling” your honor I uh love him so fucking much 

- frog lady stroking the baby’s back a bit as she holds her hand behind him to make sure he doesn’t fall backwards while playing with the tadpole ;___________;

and also frog husband and frog lady reaching out to hold hands and frog smooching as din and yodito leave ;____________________________________________;

- when din says the exasperated “mon calamari. unbelievable” line, the baby makes that little blowing a raspberry sound he does as if to agree ‘uh-huh unbelu -- unbelly -- unbelievable dad smh’ and it is very very adorable 

- there’s quite a bit of Stuff in the concept art that didn’t make it in this time around; I wonder if maybe they cut some stuff for pacing or whatever and that’s why this episode is so short? water leaking into the cockpit of the razor crest, something that looked a bit like whaling going on on the docks and more spaceships taking off (maybe there were originally meant to be some smaller ships defending the big empire one?), there’s quite a bit here  

[junosartsthetic]

Rohan Headcanons

Here’s eight pages of Rohan shit I wrote late at night. I should stop doing that. But alas, I won’t.

Okey

HeS a lil shit

That’s canon

But

He’s also kinda 🥺🥺

Heavens door also is 🥺🥺

if Rohan isn’t in the mood to give affection heavens door will gladly hug you for hOUrs

like

It’ll just nestle up against your chest and sorta,,,, fall asleep almost?

N ur like Rohan it’s asleep on my tits

N he’s like,,,, god I wish that were me…. I mean,,,, uhh,,, fuckin sucks 4 you guess you’ll just suffer

he likes drawing you

lol sketches on napkins n such

He just likes lookin at ur face

🥺🥺🥺🥺

He also has a pen somewhere lost in his hair

He keeps it there just in case his other ones get lost

Somehow

Even tho he’s got so fuCKin many

Also he lovEs learning things!

He’ll pick up a book about anything and read it just because

He’ll try to impress u with weird n random facts

Most of the time it doesn’t work

he likes when you mess with his hair

On the outside he’s like

DOnt fuckin touCh me but on the inside he’s like,,,, oooo head scritches r niceeeee

He believes he has an exceptional sense of style and doesn’t take criticism

He wears silk pajamas

But only sometimes

99% of the time he sleeps in his clothes because he passes out from exhaustion mid-drawing

Rohan also likes writing

Just lil things

Poems n such

He’s rather sentimental about certain things

He likes to go to libraries even though he’s got a bunch of books at home because he believes it allows him to better absorb the information he needs

He hates off brand things

It’s a maJor pet peeve

“What the hell is this?”

“What do you mean? They’re pop tarts?”

“THESE ARE NATURALLY FLAVORED FROSTED BROWN SUGAR CINNAMON TOASTER PASTRIES GREAT VALUE BRAND™️!”

“Yeah, pop tarts.”

“JAHDHWHXUWUDUWHDGWG”

He likes to wear slippers

Bunny slippers

They’re cute

He got heavens door a lil pair of them

Gotta match, ya know?

He picks at his eyelashes when he’s nervous

You gotta tell him to stop or else he’s gonna have to wear falsies

That makes him quit for a little while at least

He once accidentally stabbed himself with a pen but refused to go to Josuke for help

He’s still got a scar from it

his house has a basement but he’s never gone down to it

Too scary

He just says he has no use for it

Lies!

He’s a scaredy-cat

He can play quite a few instruments

He can also sing

He sings in the shower

It’s not half bad but his song choices tend to be awful

“STOP FUCKING SINGING ‘I KISSED A GIRL’ IN THE SHOWER OVER AND OVER! ITS SEVEN IN THE MORNING AND IM SICK OF IT!”

He’s got an embarrassing tattoo somewhere

Probably something stupid like a butterfly on his calf

He pretends it doesn’t exist

He used to read random people’s memories with heavens door when bored or uninspired but after a mortifying memory he read he stopped doing that

He once had a coo-coo clock but smashed it because it was getting on his nerves

he hates the sound of gum chewing

It’s the worst™️ to him

he sometimes forgets to shower

Nasty

But when he does shower it is extra™️

He takes reaaaaally long showers

And sings, as established

what the fuck does he even do in there?

Idfk

It’s a secret

He orders takeout because he can’t fucking cook

He’s trash at it

He tries

But he just can’t do it

he tends to make faces when he draws

It’s hilarious

He once drank 17 five hour energies to see what would happen

He doesn’t remember what happened

He awoke 2 days later in the hospital

he enjoys playing scrabble but only because everyone who plays against him ends up crying in anger when they lose

He owns a bunch of record players for the aesthetic™️

Doesn’t use them like ever

Owns like 3 records that he will play once in a blue moon

Everything he does is for the aesthetic™️ tbh

He likes to be held

But only under certain circumstances 

Do nOT touch when he is in the middle of drawing something intense

He will turn around and sMAck you with his pen (on purpose or accident? Idk)

He’s clingy

He’s needy

He’s whiny

He’s like a puppy

But with the ego of a cat

He’ll be actively spooning you but assures you he is nOt having the time of his life

Eventually he admits he likes hugs n human contact

But at first it’s like trying to give a cat a bath

Yikes™️

Speaking of baths… bath time!

He likes baths

They’re nice

Bubble baths

They help him think 

And he likes to mess with the bubbles

He likes the smell of candles too

You normally buy him candles in special occasions 

He loves them

Most of the time

Occasionally he will despise the scent but keep the candle around anyway because he feels bad throwing away a gift

Well, a gift from his s/o

Anyone else he’ll tOss that sucker into the trash

The gift— not the gift giver

Maybe

If it’s Josuke— he’s in the dumpster 

Uhhhh

Slightly nsfw but uhh,,,

Boob stress balls?

Nice

It’s a win-win situation tbh

soft, moldable, attached to someone he loves

Amazing

You’ve gotten used to it tbh

Whatever calms him down

Also he likes when you kiss his forehead before going to bed

He’ll be staying up to finish something and you’ll kiss him good night and leave your chapstick on his forehead and he just—

Makes him feel loved

He won’t admit it though

you usually initiate the affection

Sometimes he’ll hold your hand or something in public

In private he’ll be more outgoing but deny it means anything

“What, no I didn’t mean to touch your ass it was an accident”

“You’re still touching my ass”

“It’s still an accident”

you two also get in realllly stupid arguments 

“Did you open this door?”

“What?”

“Did you open it?”

“Why would I open the basement door?”

“Did you?”

“No!”

“Liar!”

“Why would I lie about that?”

he’s a blanket hog

Also loves his pillows

He wears a lil sleep mask to bed

It’s cute

he unironically has a hydro flask

It keeps his water cold

He finds the jingling of the ice in it annoying though

I think he wouldn’t enjoy digital art because he can’t feel the paper and the ink and it’s not as personal

he likes eating ramen

Even though it’s terrible for him

If you look closely there are little stains on his papers

It’s ramen broth

But it’s convenient and he can’t cook for shit so it’s what he eats

He acts all refined but he’s not if you look closely

He’s got a reallly messy closet I bet

He tries to keep organized but it’s difficult!

He likes drawing birds

Idk why

Birb

He’s got a framed picture of you on his desk

He looks at it when he’s feeling stressed

It usually calms him down and gets him ready to work

you’ve nude modeled for him a couple times

Half the time he’s not even sketching

You don’t care though

Seeing his suave facade and expression be replaced with red cheeks and stifling coughs is cute

By the end you just give him a kiss and then it leads to—

The nsfw is for later

anyway

He’s tried to get you to draw

But anything you draw he criticizes so harshly that you’ve sworn off showing him your drawings 

You know he’s doing it to help you

But it still hurts

you’ll sometimes help shading things in his manga

It’s the only thing he trusts you to do

But only on minor panels

And in small patches

But you still get credit as a background artist so you’re happy

You paint his nails a lot

He doesn’t mind

his favorite color is a dark green like his hair, though he also enjoys gold to match his stand

[goldenfawnwriting]

Birds Of A Feather - Part 14 Hawks Fic

Summary: Finch has changed, for the better or for worse?

A/N: Just got a new laptop for my birthday and I’m absolutely in love with it, only thing- the keyboard lights turn off when they go inactive and my eyesight is awful so when I go to start typing again I often mess up lol. Fun times tho.

Warnings: Angst, violence, abuse by the commission. 

It was late, Hawks was sitting up watching the news. That was when he got a call from an unknown number. Usually he wouldn’t answer to numbers he didn’t know, for fear of his phone number getting leaked but, for some reason a heavy feeling settled in his gut and he clicked answer quickly. 

“H-Hawks?”

“Who is this?”

“It’s Asami, Starlight.”

“Oh you’re Finch’s best friend right?”

“Ya actually, I was calling about Kore. I haven’t heard from her in awhile-”

“She’s been training for the commission. It’s been non-stop.”

There was a pause from the other side of the phone and then Asami continued. 

“Well, is she doing alright? She doesn’t usually ignore me like this.”

“U-uh,”

He contemplated telling Asami with the hope that she could help but he also didn’t want to worry her and end up getting her hurt.

“Ya, she’s doing great actually, she’s even tried flying a little.”

Asami gasped and made a little excited squeak.

“That’s amazing!”

“Ya, I’m sure she’ll give you a call soon, she’s just been super busy and worn out with all the work so...”

He trailed off. He hoped to god she wouldn’t try and go visit her or call. He feared Finch may snap on her or worse, him.

“Ok, well, I’ll let you go, sorry for disturbing you, I just thought I didn’t want to bother her so I’d call you. Y’know, she was really upset when you stopped visiting her in the hospital.”

He ran a hand through his hair and sighed.

“Ya I know... I just couldn’t get too close to her without the commission riding my ass about it. We talked it out though.”

They definitely hadn’t talked out all the harbored feelings with that situation but, he’d address that later. 

“Ok, well, let her know I called! Thanks Hawks~”

“No problem!”

He replied before she hung up, letting his throw his phone down on the couch and run a hand down his face with a sigh. He’d never be able to get to sleep at this rate. All he’d been able to do was worry about Finch since the last time he’d seen her, a couple days ago. He turned off his TV, making a decision.

As he flew through the night sky he couldn’t help but wonder if he was making the right decision. Would he be making the situation worse? Stressing her out more? When he got to her window he paused, his wings flapping to keep him in place. He sighed, sliding it open and pulling himself inside the dark bedroom. Maybe he should’ve went through the balcony door, he thought, stepping into the room. He spotted her passed out in her bed, curled up tight in a ball. He left his eyes on her for a moment longer before letting out what he thought was a silent sigh but man was he wrong. Finch popped out of bed at the speed of light and was immediately coming at him before he could even realize what was happening.

“Finch, Finch, it’s me!”

He yelled, grabbing her to stop her. She struggled against him, throwing punch after punch, Hawks blocking each one before finally grabbing her by the arms and turning her around, pinning her down on the bed roughly.

“Kore, it’s me Keigo!”

She was panting hard, and then suddenly, it was like she was back to normal again.

“K-keigo?”

She croaked in a hoarse voice. He could tell she had been crying.

“Keigo, what’s h-happening to me?”

She whimpered. Hawks wanted to let her up again but was still worried that she’d try and attack him again.

“Dove, you’ve gotta calm down, then I’ll let you go and we can talk.”

He tried to say gently, he was still panting, trying to prepare himself for the next round, if she decided to attack him again.

“Keigo I don’t know what’s happening-”

Her voice broke off into a harsh sob and Hawks could feel his heart break for her. She was in so much pain, so much torment. 

“Come on lovebird, I know you can do this, just breathe, we can fix this.”

It was like she was a mechanical warrior, like she was following a string of commands. Her wings finally relaxed, no long pushing against him and folding to her back. He sighed, finally trusting that she was calm again as her feathers smoothed down and her breathing evened. He let her up slowly, bracing himself for if he had to contain her again.

“Just go slow birdie, no quick moves.”

“Y-you don’t trust m-me?”

“You’ve gotta understand Finch, I’m in a whole new situation also.”

^^^

They sat on her couch, far away from eachother as Hawks questioned her.

“What was that about?”

“I don’t know, I just did it.”

“You just did it?”

“Yes- It’s like I couldn’t control myself...”

“What have they been doing to you?”

She paused.

“What do you mean?”

He ran a hand down his face. Maybe it was different for him to grow up learning this, they had more time to teach him things, so they didn’t have to rush, they could be a little more gentle with him but, for her they were trying to pump out a new hero as fast as they could. No time for her to absorb anything but being threatened with her life. 

“What kind of training are you doing Finch?”

“T-they just put me in a room, everything is black, no lights or anything, they play really loud static noise and then they come.”

“They come?”

“People start to attack me. They take away my sight and hearing and then they start attacking me, I think it’s 3 different people but I’m not sure, sometimes it less, sometimes it’s more. Then I just have to.. I don’t know, survive? Sense them and react?”

He was silent.

“What else?”

“Am I going to get in trouble for telling you this? You can’t go to them, I’ll get in a lot of trouble-”

“What else Finch.”

He growled, his feathers puffing up.

“U-uh... They do it under water too... I get in a pool, they blindfold me, and then I fight someone. That’s always one on one, never more. Recently they’d been putting me through flight training. Fast paced obstacle courses and stuff like that. Fighting in the air.”

“Have they been giving you any breaks?”

“Not usually no. Not until they let me go home. They don’t tell me the time very often. They just bring in food sometimes and let me eat and rest.”

That’s why he hasn’t seen her barely any at work anymore. She’s been occupied fully. No breaks. That’s why she’s so paranoid, why she randomly attacked him earlier. She doesn’t know anything but danger. She hasn’t had any time to process this.

“Finch, you’ve gotta stop this, we’ve got to give you a break, you’re stressing yourself way too much-”

“I can’t take a break now Keigo. I’ll lose everything I’ve worked so hard for. I can’t give it up now, I definitely can’t go through all this over again.”

She looked so tired. So exhausted. Like she hadn’t seen peace in weeks. And he knew she hadn’t. The commission was ruthless. This was their best creation yet, and the poor girl just happened to get caught in the middle of their aspirations. He had done this. It was his fault, he brought it up to the commission, he had convinced her to go through with it. 

“Finch, you’re gonna work yourself to death, this isn’t healthy. They need to cool it, you don’t have to be a hero tomorrow for god’s sake-”

“I want to be a hero as soon as possible. It’s my fault for not being better, they wouldn’t have to do this if I would just learn-”

“No Finch! That’s not how this is supposed to work! You’re not supposed to be some machine! You’re not a soldier that does whatever they want! There is no reason to be working so stupidly hard, you’re going to keel over at this rate.”

She didn’t reply, tears brimming her eyes. She couldn’t stop now, she was so close to her goal. She was so close to being exactly the way they wanted her to be.  

Keigo ran a hand down his face and scooted closer, gingerly pulling her into his lap and hugging her tightly. 

“Finch, babybird, we have to stop this, your heart is gonna give out with the stress.”

“I-I c-can’t!”

She sobbed, her face buried in his chest. He ran nimble fingers through her hair, the feeling relaxing her slightly. Her heart was beating so fast he was concerned. This couldn’t be good for her physical health, let alone her mental health. 

“Lets get you back to bed dove, have you ate recently?”

She shook her head into his chest but when he went to stand her hands clenched around his jacket.

“P-pleas- d-don’t le-leave me..”

He didn’t reply at first, trying to figure out what her problem was.

“I k-keep having n-nightmares, p-please d-don’t leave me a-alone...”

She whimpered. A coo erupted from his throat before he could even process it, his wings fluffing up and enveloping her.

“You’re safe birdie, I’ve got you, I’m not going anywhere. Lets get you something to eat and go to bed ok?”

He had no choice but to pick her up as he made his way into the kitchen area, setting her down on the counter and pulling her shaking hands off of him so he could get something for her to eat. He had to force himself to let go of her but he knew she needed something to eat desperately. 

After eating some yogurt and granola he picked her back up, holding her tight to his body before he had an even better idea than going to her bedroom.

“Hey Kore? Wanna go to my place? I think you’ll have a better time sleeping there.”

And so he flew them back to his apartment, holding onto her tightly before laying her down onto his bed. He knew it would feel safer for her, it would smell like him. He laid down next to her after peeling his jacket off and she curled up into him, letting him pull her close as her breathing evened and she fell asleep.

[elichorph]

word hi ok here’s some info on annie ....  uhmMmgm.... ok

stats:

full name: annaleise grace suh nicknames: annie. call them anything else and you’ll get bit age: twenty one  birthday: october 27, 1999 chart: scorpio sun / gemini moon / taurus rising gender: demi girl pronouns: they / them & she / her sexuality: bisexual & biromantic  height: 5′9 tattoos: they shamelessly have like 7 of their own little doodles tattooed really small on their right bicep and one on their ankle too piercings: three earlobe piercings on each ear, double helix on their right ear, a nose stud

blackmail: 

as a famous artist, their art was spotted by a drug ring who launders money. they willingly sell their art through the ring as a means to transport both drugs and money, taking a cut of the cash and allowing the ring’s connections to boost their fame so they’ll stay quiet about it.

they did an excessive amount of philanthropy work in their second year at the university and posed it as charity work, but actually was doing mandated community service after being charged with theft

annie's family routinely and secretly took money from the kojima family to stay afloat and only stopped once they were caught. they were sued in civil court by the kojima's because of it and lost the case, leaving the suh family near penniless.

backstory:

this is a lot and i am sorry

tw: drugs

annie had a … pretty normal childhood. seriously like, it’s bland. nothing special so i’ll keep this brief. they were born in alabama and lived there for a single year before moving and was raised in a house in hartford, ct to two loving parents. although they weren’t incredibly well off, they always made sure there was a pack of ice cream sandwiches in the freezer and clearance rack flowers on the kitchen table. annie was posted up outside of the house with chalk drawing every little thing their mind could come up with every single day even though their parents desperately wished they were inside playing with the little doctor’s kit that they got them for their ninth birthday. but no ❤️annie was determined to be an artist despite their parent’s early pleads not to be. and annie’s never been one to take signals correctly in their life so their only child ass took this as a sign to start being edgy and self absorbed, focusing so much on themselves that they kind of shut their family out and wasn’t entirely aware of potentially sketchy things their parents did to keep money in the bank account. fr they just became like ... roommates and didn’t talk. the last time they spoke was when annie needed a lawyer last year. 

in high school, annie was a weird mix of tropes. they were the weird mysterious kid in the back of your english class who went on rants about how annoying romeo & juliet and romance are and the one who was president of clubs you’ve never even heard of and the underclassman who was friends with all the scary seniors (and later became the scary senior). in their junior year, they also conveniently went viral for a series of paintings they made in ap art class. it started locally and with being kinda famous on facebook to big gallery installations that had pieces which conveniently fit the aesthetics of mansions and big buyers. seriously, fame came fast for annie and by the end of their senior year they were well known enough to catch the eye of a drug ring who offered to bass boost it all for the small price of taking part in the sales of their art so the dealers can put a couple grams of cocaine in one of their lil pottery pieces and end up with way more money than they started with. 

yale thought annie’s fame and art and obscene amount of followers on instagram was kinda sexy so they were offered a full ride and gladly accepted and sells off all of their paintings and pottery pieces they make in class because why not ❤️ so here they are. with like a million followers on their art instagram and a big ego.

and annie’s a kleptomaniac, honestly. there’s no deep backstory as to why they decided to steal a pair of diamond earrings last year besides the fact that they wanted to. thankfully the judge let them off with community service, but you bet they spun that story to their advantage as soon as they could. if you saw annie posted up on their insta story picking up trash off of the highway with a big smile and “making time to clean up our highways!” across the bottom in pretty cursive, yes you did. 

personality: 

annie’s entire personality is one big paradox and then some.

they keep their life as a ✨famous person ✨ kind of bland so people won’t know a lot about them at the surface level unless they do some research. like they’ve got a main art instagram and stuff but then a personal one that you’ve gotta search for and also just ... doesn’t do interviews or anything like that. 

annie really loves people. like they crave small talk and holding the door open for people and smiling at people when they walk by them on campus. but on a deeper level, it’s a rarity that they’re good with others. seriously, they don’t know what the word communication means. if annie has a close friend or s.o. who things work perfectly well with and things are understood, that’s probably pure coincidence. they just kind of expect to understand people and have others understand them. things probably are fine to a certain point, like making small talk with whoever whenever, but i imagine it can only go so far lmao. like when you try to get close to annie, you’ll probably get sent a 400 word text message about needing space but then the next day they’re asking you to come over for four loko friday. mixed signal realness.

and even tho they love people and being surface level and nice and all, as seen in the tragic dropping of muse i, annie is volatile as hell! sometimes they’ll be mean just to entertain themselves bc they’re bored or they just get the urge or they feel like there’s a reason even if there’s not or something ... idk you never know with them. there are sure as hell days too when they just don’t even try to be nice to others either. annie’s got a temper and they go back and forth.

they lowkey crave strict control over their image but also love it when people think about them and give them attention. like ... yes they are having a breakdown daily about the blackmailer but they also deep down are like aw <3 

there’s part of them that wants cute romance ... the pottery scene in ghost ... painting their significant other ... all of that ... but they’ve got some deep rooted issues that make them think they don’t really need anyone. that maybe nobody will love them. even though they were the one that shut their parents out, their mind Loves to twist that situation to make it seem like they could’ve tried harder to get to know annie or support her or some shit bruh idk annie is so confusing.

ok but all the bad stuff aside .... if you actually like crack their code and get to know the real annie ..... they’re like kinda genuine and cool ig. they give really good advice and are extremely thoughtful and probably will make paintings inspired by you and maybe will gift you a handmade teapot and cook you your favorite dish if you talk about it once. annie is pretty funny too and they really have no fears because they are so self assured. they are SO shameless at times, even though it hurts them a lot more than it helps them. annie spends just about any free moment they get at the art studio. they’re always zooming with either dried clay all over their hands or paint on their jeans because they probably didn’t notice the time. really love memes like these ones. constantly wears big stompy boots. i really hope u get the picture i can’t write anymore

this is a tik tok that explains them well https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMJufQVbP/

and here is their pinterest https://www.pinterest.com/mcvingparts/annie/

[jungshookz]

beauty & the bookworm {librarian!namjoon}

→ pairing: kim namjoon x reader

→ genre: librarian!namjoon who’s a little nerdy a little dorky but we loVe it, university!au, y/n’s the brat this time around, fluff softer than clouds, a bit of heartwrenching angst :’(, BTS as in BIG TIME smU T

→ wordcount: 20.8k this will definitely make the app crash as per usual don’t come for me

→ note: okay first and foremost i apologize because this is wAY overdue! i started writing librarian!joon in october but i kept putting him off and it’s not what he deserves :-(( but the most important thing is that he’s here now and he’s ready to trip his way into your hearts!! also i finally gave one of my fics a title instead of just naming the au so we’re spicing things up for the new year! enjoy!! 

pst if u wanna talk to y/n or joonie or even jimin u know what to do ;-)

(gif isn’t mine!)

(((and the read more function iS there but most of the time it doesn’t work on mobile :// i am sorry don’t attack me by sending passive-aggressive anon messages)))

you’ve always been the type of person to just go with the flow

whenever life throws an obstacle your way you somehow always aLways make it out alive

you always have a backup plan and you never worry about anything

because worrying gives you frowning wrinkles and you want your skin to remain smooth and beautiful

maybe it’s maybelline??? maybe it’s just not giving a fuCk

but this is the first time you’ve ever been… slightly concerned

you are in unfamiliar territory because you feel

…worried

and you don’t like this feeling at all

“i don’t know what to tell you, y/n. you’re failing three of your courses. you need extra credit.” your counsellor looks at you and then looks back down at his laptop where he has your transcript opened up

“okay! okay okay cool cool cool that’s fine” you clear your throat and nod quickly “extra credit is fine. no need to worry.”

“well, i wouldn’t say no need to worry. there’s definitely room for worry here.”

you thought you had the hang of this university thing but apparently not since jin just told you you’re failing three of your damn courses

kim seokjin - he graduated like two years ago and is your academic counsellor

he’s a pretty cool guy most of the time!! sometimes his dad jokes makes you want to slam your face into a wall but other than that he’s cool

and he’s always there to help you whenever you feel like you’re struggling

he’s a good counsellor but right now he’s being an awful counsellor and not even offering you an ouNCe of support

just kidding you’re just mad at yourself and you’re taking it out on literally anyone you see  

you lean forward a little to try and get a sneak peek of your transcript and jin shifts his laptop away

you huff and lean back against the plushy sofa chair “so… how am i supposed to get extra credit?” you inspect your nails uninterestedly because you’re supposed to be napping right now but obviouSly you’re not going to be able to catch some extra z’s today because of this stupid meeting about your stupid grades

“summer school is an option.”

just the thought of summer school makes you feel nauseous

you’re not going to spend two months writing a philosophy paper or studying for an exam when you could be on a beach somewhere or on a road trip with jimin and the others

thank u next bitch

“please tell me there’s something else. anything else??” you frown and slump against his desk and he lets out a sigh before rifling through some loose papers on his desk

“which prof do i have to go down on to get extra credit” you joke but the smile drops from your face when jin raises a disapproving brow at you  

“if you’re lucky, maybe you can find a part-time job on campus. usually you can get extra credit from doing things here! last i heard there was a position to be the school mascot!”

omg

yuck

having to jump around in a slightly damp and sewage-scented costume for two hours??

no thanks

jin can tell by your expression that that’s the last thing you want

“i hate to break it to you, y/n, but you can’t exactly be picky here. go to main hall where they stick up all those posters and job offers - maybe you’ll find something good! cheer up, hm?”

“yeah, yeah” you murmur and scratch the back of your head before standing up and swinging your bag over your shoulder

“oh, and y/n?”

“what?”

“maybe you should study instead of watching netflix all the time - you really have to boost your grades this term otherwise… y’know” he winces

‘y’know’ means you’re not going to frickin graduate

“…bye jin” you mutter and shut the door behind you before letting out a breath

well

that was a depressing conversation

jin didn’t even tell you a dad joke this time around

as you make your way to the main hall you can’t help but let out another sigh of disappointment

in high school you had eeeehhhhh average grades like you were kinda dumb but not thAt dumb

but you never expected yourself to faiL classes

you thought you were smarter than this!!! obviously not tho

you let out a huff as you stand in front of the bulletin board

there’s an overwhelming number of posters ranging from poetry sLAM competitions to math tutoring services and you don’t know where the heck to start

okay let’s see

what can we do

‘do you have school spirit? do you need extra credit? why not try being our adorable school masco-‘

“nope” you click your tongue and immediately look at the next poster

‘looking for a philosophy tutor for philosophy102’

philosophy is one of the classes you’re failing so maybe not that one either

‘looking for water girl/water boy for new school year! email coach bang for more details’

good god

the water girl??

that would be pathetic

that min yoongi tho

wOO you are definitely thirsty for him

but not thirsty enOugh because there’s no way you’re going to be known as the dang water girl

‘ocean expedition next summer? come to seashell city and explore the ancient legend of the mermaid… extra credit included!’

now thAt sounds cool

but next summer??? you’re not planning to still be here neXt summer

you’re running out of options here

the ones that you’ve seen just don’t sit well with you

the ones that seem okay are already all booked up

you raise a brow when you find a smaller note pinned under an obnoxiously neon pink ‘JOIN THE CHEERLEADING SQUAD’ poster

oh cute

it’s a picture of a book

‘booking for extra credit? there’s no one to blame but your-shelf if you let this job opportunity slip away! come to the library and check it out!’

you cringe in your soul and shake your head

a 60 year old grandpa definitely wrote this up

you take the note off the bulletin board and re-read it

urhghUAhfasj

are u really going 2 do this

you really gon spend most of your time at the library instead of, oh, i don’t know, literally anYTHING ELSE

“beggars can’t be choosers” you mumble to yourself

plus this option doesn’t seem like it needs a lot of skill so it should be easy-peasy lemon-squeezy

the extra credit will just fall right onto your lap                                  

but at the same time

you despise the library

it’s too quiet

you can’t eat or drink in there

it always smells like musty old books

everyone’s always hogging the charging ports

you can’t talk without someone giving you a dirty look because apParently you’re being too loud when you wereN’T EVEN being that loud

your stomach always rumbles in the library and you end up not studying because you’re too focused on wondering what you should get for dinner

the last time you were at the library you were only there because jimin wanted to get some studying done and he needed a study partner

but that was literally like last year

now if he wants a study partner you tell him ‘it’s mY way or the highway’ which means you force him to study at your dinky apartment

you purse your lips and read the note yet aGAin

it seems like this is the option that makes you want to rip your fingernails off the least

so

it’s the library i guess

*confetti*

“what’s the matter with you?” jimin pokes your cheek with his fork before digging into his spaghetti

you scowl and rub the dot of tomato sauce off your cheek

“i’m failing three of my classes” you mutter before slumping against the table “and now i have to work at the library everyday to get extra credit”

jimin shrugs

“at least you’re not failing all of your classes?”

“i’m taking four courses this semester. i’m failing three out of four classes.”

jimin pauses and purses his pillowy lips

“like i said…at least you’re not failing four out of four classes?” he offers through a mouthful of pasta

he swallows “plus the library isn’t all that bad! books are… books are like… cool”

“you’re not doing a very good job of making me feel better”

“well, i don’t wanna be that friend - but you kinda did this to yourself!!!! working at the library is a consequence of not doing well in class, y/n. i’m sorry to break it to you, but you gotta do what you gotta do. you’re not allowed to complain because you let this happen to yourself.” jimin sighs frustratedly because as much as he loves you it’s so iRRitating when you’re whining about problems that could’ve very easily been avoided

“ya i guess so” you mutter

yeah

it’ll be fine

becoming a librarian will be great

maybe you’ll absorb the information from all the books that you’ll be hanging around with all day and become smart enough to graduate and not need the extra credit

jimin jumps when you let out a groan and smack your head against the table in defeat

life is really kicking your ass right now and is showing absolutely no mercy

“you want me to go in with you and drop you off at the counter?” jimin smiles sweetly and you shake your head and slip your arm from his

“this is a battle i’m going to have to face alone.” you shake a fist in front of you

“go on, my brave warrior.” jimin says dramatically before nodding “i’ll see you tomorrow!”

you let out a sigh before pushing the doors open and letting yourself in

you see a couple people sitting here studying

it is exam season after all

speaking of exam season u should probably start studying

you don’t remember the last time you were at the library

you came in once because you needed to pee really bad and this was where the nearest washroom was

also why is it so biG

there’s nobody at the front counter so you assume the guy went to the back because there’s like another room behind the desk

you whistle a tune to yourself as you lean against the counter and scroll through your phone

you’re blissfully unaware of the many people who are glaring at you because of your awful whistling

it’s when you get a (very rude) ’shh!’ that you raise a hand in defence and stop the whistling

it’s too quiET in here the whistling was necessary

these ungrateful assholes should be thankful

“hi there! can i help you with something?” you jump ten feet into the air from the voice that breaks the silence

you turn around and there’s this this tall ass tree of a guy standing behind the counter

he smiles at you and you immediately notice his sweet smile and cute dimples

he tilts his head before reaching up to adjust his glasses

“um, i…” he looks down and his eyes light up when he sees his poster in your hand

“oh, y/n! i didn’t know you were interested in working at the library” huh

he knows your name?

how does he know you

…do you know him?

well you have to know him otherwise how does he know your name

he pushes his glasses up and waits for you to respond

you decide to play along with it for the sake of a good first impression

or..,.,. good second impression??

you’re tempted to tell him you’re only doing this because you have no choice and also you’re failing your classes but he probably doesn’t want to hear all of that

“yeah! a little extra credit never hurts” you laugh and scratch the back of your neck “it’s nice to see you… again…?” you trail off because obviously you have no idea what his name is

you’re still confused as to how he knows your name

he kind of blinks at you and his eyebrows knit together in confusion before he’s like oOh okay i see what’s happening here

“i, uh, i’m namjoon, ha. i’m actually- we were in the same philosophy lecture last year. you… you bumped into me on the first day of class and spilt your coffee all over me.” namjoon chuckles awkwardly and scratches the back of his neck

oh yiKES

your cheeks flame up immediately and you press your lips together

good first impression!!!!1!1!

“oh! oh, right! yeah, of course i remember you, joonie!” the nickname slips out to try and soothe the awkward situation but you don’t think it’s working that well “i’m sorry about that, by the way. you know how klutzy i am” you clear your throat

namjoon chuckles awkwardly and scratches the back of his head

and then u remember an important detail

you raise a brow

“wait but like didn’t you graduate last year? you’re older than me aren’t you?”

“yes, i graduated last year. and yes, I’m older than you”

“….so why r u still here”

“i like it here! it’s as simple as that” namjoon shrugs and you hum in response

personally speaking

once you graduate (if u even graduate lol roasted) there is no turning back

you don’t want to come back here

you wasted four years in this torturous hell why would you willingly come back

but now that he reminded you that you two were in the same philosophy lecture it’s kind of coming back to you

you’ve seen his face like once or twice

he always sat in the front and always raised his hands to answer questions or remind the professor of assignments and oHhH right kim naMjOon

sometimes you and kook poke fun at him because like he’s genuinely suCh a n3rd and a dork aNd a try hard anD he always corrected people over the most minuscule mistakes and he’s a neat freak and wow you are suddenly realising you’re not a huge fan of namjoon

“please, i prefer namjoon.” namjoon clears his throat before setting the pile of books down on the counter “so… you wanna start working here? become the ~junior librarian~?” he sticks his hands out and does some jazz hands and you resist the urge to roll your eyes because woW that was lame

“yep, i need the extra credit” you shrug and lean against the counter

“why do you need extra credit?”

“i don’t think that’s any of your business, namjoon.” you tilt your head and namjoon’s like alright fair enough

“look. it’s pretty obvious you need some help around here.” you gesture to the cart stacked with like a trillion books sitting by the desk “and no one else has applied to help out according to your sad poster- i’m pretty much your only option, bro” you shrug as if to say ‘it’s not my fault’

okay

namjoon definitely doesn’t appreciate the tone and the attitude that you’re giving him

but you’re not wrong

surprisingly not a lot of people have come up to him wanting the job as the junior librarian

it’s kind of disappointing

being a librarian is so much fun!!!!!!

who wouldn’t want to be surrounded by books all day????

and no offence

but he doesn’t really want to give you this job because you’re just so,,., snooty and kinda rude

and you seem like you don’t care about anything

aNd you seem kinda disorganised

he’s just getting that ~vibe~ from you

but he doesn’t have a choice because he does really need the help and you need the extra credit so it works out for both of u

and he’s mature enough to work well with someone he doesn’t like so he’s sure he’ll be fine

namjoon purses his lips and exhales

“fine… i suppose i can let you work alongside me. but just to let you, i have a system for everything, so i would really appreciate if you followed the rules that i set in place and-“ you keep staring at him but you’ve drowned him out and you’re just singing a song in your head

“do you understand?” he finishes and adjusts his glasses before giving you a pointed look  

“ya man i gotcha” you click your tongue before pushing yourself off the counter and clapping your hands together “so chief where do i start” you take your backpack off and swiNG it over the counter and it fLOps to the ground loudly

namjoon’s eye twitches when your books spill out of your bag and you don’t bother picking it up

okay

what’s a job that’ll take a while and will require you to be awaY from him

ah

namjoon disappears behind the counter for a split second before reappearing with a duster and a rag

“those shelves over there need to be dusted.”

you raise your brows in disbelief

dusting

is that it

wow

easy frickin peASY ladies and gents

“at least try and make it hard for me.” you snort and snatch the duster and rag from him

extra credit - here we come! goodbye suMMER scHOOL

“see, i told you it wasn’t going to be bad!” jimin points out after you finish fleXing to him about how good of a dust job you did on those bookshelves

weird flex but ok lol

“i know!! i don’t actually mind the library, now that i think about it. the dead silence is kinda relaxing. but-“ you raise a finger “i’m not sure about that namjoon guy”

“namjoon?”

“he’s the librarian. he graduated last year and- god, he’s just… he’s such a nerd. which isn’t a bad thing, i guess? you know what i’m saying, right? he’s just,,,, i don’t know… he seems like the kinda guy who’d get a heart attack from breaking a tinY rule or something,, or i feel like if i drop a book he’ll start crying like he’s thAt kind of person”

jimin nods understandably before shrugging “i get it… but i’m sure if you give him a chance you’ll warm up and you’ll get along!! even if you don’t get along just keep it mind that you’re only doing this for a couple of months.”

“yeah, i guess.”

jimin’s usually right so you’ll take his word for it

maybe namjoon isn’t as much of a stick in the mud as you think he is

you’ll be fine

remember how in the beginning of all of this you were like this is going to be easy-peasy-lemon-squeezy

well

it’s not

it’s not easy-peasy-lemon-squeezy

in fact it’s difficult-difficult-orange-difficult

why are there so many books here???????? it’s never ending!! every time you put one away like ten more appear on the counter and then namjoon’s like mmMm c’mon pick up the pace there’s a lot to do around here

you haven’t even had a chance to sit down for a minute because the library is huGe and you have to walk everywhere to make sure each book is in the right place and no books are overdue and if books aRe overdue to have to go and harass the person that still has the book and the point is THIS IS HARD AND YOU ARE TIRED

no wonder no one wanted this job!!!!!!!!! it’s hard work!!!!!!!!!!

you can’t help but wonder if that water girl job is still available but the thought of having to talk to someone like min yoongi makes you nervous so you shake the thought out of your head

aLSO

namjoon is boring

SO boring

what kind of modern young man willingly wears sweaters and cardigans and button up shirts all the damn time

also?? he keeps candies in his pockets

like he’ll be sorting through some files and then stops and he rifles through his pockets and pulls out a hard candy and pops it into his mouth

they’re those salted caramel hard candies and you’ve been tempted to ask him for one but.,,.,., u don’t want any of his damn pANT candy

also he’s so quiet and you’re very chatty so that’s another thing to add to the list of things you hate about kim namjoon

whenever you try to talk about your day he replies with mm’s and ah’s but never does anything to continue the conversation so you’re left in awkward silence waiting for a reaction

aLSO he has egg salad or tuna or plain turkey sandwiches and like vegetable soup and a piece of fruit (he literally said an apple a day keeps the doctor away one time and you were like what century are you living in???) for lunch most of the time and it sTANKS it’s awful  

and when you try to crack a joke he never gets the punchline which is infuriating because you like to think that you’re somewhat of a funny person

aren’t you??????

all he gives you is a polite laugh and a nod before he goes back to his book

you don’t know how long you can keep doing this

it’s been a month and a bit since you started working at the library

and namjoon would rather give himself a trillion paper cuts than work with you

you

are

awful

“y/n - you’re supposed to stamp the first page in the book - not the coVer of the book.” namjoon presses his lips together to keep himself from screaming when he sees you with a mountain of already wrONGLY stamped books

“oh. can’t you like erase the ink or something?”

“no you can’t- you can’t just erasE the ink the stamp is gonna be there forever”

“it’s okay i only stamped like 20 books” you shrug and instinctively stamp the book in your hands “…21 books”

“y/n whY… why did you use a glittery pink pen for the book record sheets”

“it makes it pretty! it’s not a big deal no one sees these sheets besides you and i” you grin and take the sheet from namjoon and he feels his soul die a little when you scribble something down with a neon green marker

also you keep giving yourself little breaks?? and the only breAK that is allowed on your schedule is your lunch break or the occasional washroom break whenever you need it

but you give yourself these nonexistent breaks

‘granola bar break’ - you take 30 minutes off to eat one single granola bar

‘texting break’ - this one’s worse because it happens more frequently like the two of you will be filing things together and namjoon likes to keep things working like a well-oiled machine but it’s hard to do that when you keep pausing to text someone and then you’re like okay where were we like it ruINS THE FLOW

‘reading break’ - THIS is awful because namjoon will see you study and he’ll be like okay at least she’s doing something educational and he peeks over and you’ve literally got your phone out scrolling through memes on instagram

and when he reprimands you for taking too many breaks you always wave him off and tell him to relax and to not get his panties in a twist

he feels like you’re doing this on purpose

pushing his buttons

getting under his skin in the worst way possible

also you keep calling him random names and he hATES IT he just wants to be called namjoon because that’s his name

“hey joon”

“namjoon”

“good morning joonie”

“namjoon”

“hi joonathan”

“joona- namjoon!”

“whaddup dimples”

“hey bookworm”

“hey nerd”

“what’s up four-eyes”

“yo yo yo dork”

“oi egghead where’d i put my phone”

“it’s namjoon - and feet off the counter” it’s almost automatic at this point when namjoon shoVes your legs off the counter and you nearly fall off your chair from the force

he gives you a warning look when you move to put your feet back up and you huff grumpily

“no messy foods in the library” you gawk when namjoon picks up your takeaway box of spaghetti and proceeds to dump it into the bin

“don’t use the books as coasters” namjoon snatches your drink and picks up the book then wipes the condensation from your drink off the front cover

“no more texting during work hours” your phone disappears from your hands and you blink down at your fingers because that was sO speedy

“oH my god am i even allowed to breathe in here???” you snap exasperatedly because you and jimin were talking about how kook slipped in the cafeteria and got banana milk all over tae’s new shoes and taheyung freAKED it was hilarious

namjoon blinks down at you before opening up a drawer and dropping your phone in there before proceeding to l o c k the drawer

are you KIDDING me

is this bitch for real???? he just locked up your phone???????

“i don’t know. your breathing is kind of loud, so we’ll have to figure out a way around that issue.” and with that he turns his back with a huff but not before turning to face you one last time so he can look you right in the eye as he drops your can of soda into the bin

it’s pretty obvious that you and namjoon most certainly do not like each other but the both of you are just being very passive aggressive and tip-toeing around the elephant in the library

you let out a breath and dig your nails into your palm

deep breaths deep breaths

we’re doing this to graduate

we can do this

aight

no biggie

remember how you promised yourself you’d be more responsible when it came to your work load

obviously you forgot about that promise

because you have a final in a week and a half that you completely forgot about that even frickin jungkook was aware about

and now you have to jam a whole semester’s worth of information into your head and finish that 12 page paper for your history class and work on your presentation for your film class and there’s just so much that you have to do and you don’t have enough time to do everything

you decided to skip your last lecture of the day (you asked tae to take notes for you and he’s usually good at that so you’re not worried) to come to the library and study

and you couldn’t find an empty table or anything so you figured you’d just study at the desk

you’re surprised to see that namjoon isn’t around because he practically lives at the library

okay it’s whatever

he’d probably distract you anyway

you plop yourself down on the chair and proceed to pull out all your notes and books and markers and you dump it all on the table

you crack your knuckles and look down at the mountain in front of you

let’s do this

namjoon hums a tune to himself as he opens the door and enters the library

he’s in an especially good mood today for some reason

the smile falters on his face when he realises that he’s going to be spending the rest of the day with you and that’s definitely going to soil his mood

ugh

you’re usually late because you always come after your classes so he expects that he’ll be in a good mood for about twenty more minutes or so

namjoon pauses when he sees the top of your head poking out from behind the front counter

you’re

on time?

he looks at his watch

no you’re not just on time

you’re… early

you’ve never been early to a shift before

how odd

maybe someone finally lit a fire under your ass and you’re finally being more responsible!!

okay

he’s still in a good mood

he’s about to give you a chirpy greeting (and this time he’s not going to correct you if you address him using another one of your lame nicknames) and then he’s suddenly aware of the scene in front of his eyes

“y/n?” namjoon furrows his brows to see you with your face buried in your arms and you’re surrounded by like teN textbooks and a lot of scrap paper with random notes scribbled on them and a million highlighters and pens “…whatcha up to?”

you don’t respond and he leans over the counter a little more

…are you even alive

suddenly you look up at namjoon

he takes a step back in surprise at the sight of your red and watery eyes and he’s like o shit she crying

“are you okay??” he unlocks the gate and steps behind the front counter to join you

“i don’t know anything, namjoon. i literally don’t know anything and my final is in a week and a half.” you sniffle and reach up to wipe your tears away

“oh god. i’m going to fail this exam and this is totally going to put my life on hold and everyone’s going to graduate before me and i’ll be stuck here because of how stupid i am” you sob and slam a textbook shut and namjoon jumps

he’s never seen you like this before

he’s never seen you so… defeated

usually you’re all smiles and you have a smartass comment ready to go at all times and even when he shuts you down you don’t let that stop you

so for the first time ever

when he sees you with puffy eyes and a trembling bottom lip and a permanent frown on your face

he feels… bad

and you called him namjoon

not joon or dimples or bookworm

namjoon

this is serious

even though you piss him off everyday because of how irritating you are

you don’t deserve to be this sad

namjoon sets his briefcase down before pulling his chair over and sitting down next to you

he looks over at all the textbooks briefly before looking up at you “what are you studying?” he hands you the box of tissues that are on his side of the desk and you thank him quietly before sniffling and wiping the tear that’s trailing down your cheek

“um, philosophy.” you sound kind of nasally from how much crying you’ve done but whatever “right now i’m looking at the main branches of philosophy but i just don’t geT it.”

“okay, well…” namjoon glances at your handwritten notes for a second and all you’ve written down is ‘philosophy notes’ with a bright purple marker

oh god

is he really going to do this

is he really going to help you right now

because he could totally just tell you to put your notes away and do your job

but instead he’s deciding that he’s going to help you study for your finals

even though you’ve been nothing but an obnoxious piece of shIT for the past two months

he’s going to help you whether you like it or not

“let’s start off with differentiating between the branches. typically, there are four branches. sometimes there are five, but for philosophy301 you just focus on four. logic, epistemology, metaphysics, and-“

“what are you doing?” you interrupt namjoon and look at him confusedly

he’s

he’s helping you?

what?

why??

whY?????

“i’m… explaining the four branches of philosophy. at least i’m trying to. what’s wrong?” he tilts his head and blinks twice “oh, you know what, maybe i shouldn’t… because i can’t focus if your study station is a pig sty.” he starts cleaning up your papers and putting your highlighters back into your pencil case

he pauses in the middle of stacking your textbooks to look at you “don’t just stare at me - clean up! and then we’ll get on with it.”

“namjoon, you don’t have to-“

“y/n, i swear to god.” namjoon groans quietly and taps the top of your head with a pen “stop being so stubborn and just be a good girl.”

you raise your hands in defence

you can’t help the little smile that twitches at the corner of your mouth

namjoon’s helping you

…you knew he had a soft spot for u

(little do you know that you have a soft spot for him too)

>:-)

namjoon spends the next two and a half hours explaining many different philosophical concepts to you and he answers every single one of your questions

at one point you get a little shy because you feel like your questions are dumb but namjoon reassures you that your questions are most certainly not dumb

he even paused to tell you a story of how in one of his classes he raised his hand and forgot what he was going to ask by the time the prof got to him so he ended up asking the prof ‘what class is this?’

that made you crack uP because you can imagine namjoon’s flushed cheeks and nervous stammer so clearly

also namjoon shared his lunch with you which was a surprise (today he brought in a turkey sandwich and an apple)

“my favourite sandwich is actually turkey on whole wheat with spicy mustard - and my favourite kind of apple is honey crisp!”

“spicy mustard is too much flavour for me. i just like putting mayo. and i’m a red apple kinda guy.”

“you’re boring” you tease him as you bite into the sandwich

“am not! don’t attack me for liking the plainer things in life!”

even though the ingredients are pretty plain somehow it still works and you find yourself scarfing it down in like thirty seconds

namjoon pulls a hard candy out of his pocket and offers it to you

“you’re giving me one of your precious candies??” you gasp and pluck it so delicately from his fingers as if it were made of glass or something

“it’s only because i feel bad for you because you criEd so don’t expect anymore candies from me” namjoon snorts and bites into an apple slice “also i always see you staring at me whenever i pull out a candy”

“it’s only because i’m wondering if they’re stale or not” you unwrap it and pop it into your mouth quickly before namjoon can take it back

“they most certainly are not!” he gasps in mock offence before reaching up to adjust his glasses

“your glasses are just as dorky as you” you reach over and brush your fingers over the thick rims and namjoon scowls before smacking your hand away

“don’t make me regret helping you and sharing my food with you” he points an accusatory finger in your direction and you grin cheekily “now, c’mon - let’s talk about famous philosophers and then we’ll start making some flash cards!”

“i like flash cards!!! ooh we can use my mArkERs-“ you start rambling excitedly about your multicoloured markers and namjoon finds himself smiling fondly as he watches you rummage through your pencil case

hm

maybe you’re not so bad after all

“yES you got it again! alright who do we have next…” namjoon shuffles through the pile of flashcards on his lap

“okay-“ he pauses to read the notes on the back of the flashcard before holding it up for you “who is saint thomas aquinas?”

“ooh, i know this one!!” you raise your hand even though you’re the onLY One stuDYING

you’re so lame

endearingly lame

:~)

“hm, any takers?” namjoon plays along and pretends to look around a classroom of people before pointing at you “ah! yes, miss y/l/n?”

he’s just as lame as you are

you clear your throat and sit up straighter

“saint thomas aquinas was a 13th century dominican friar, theologian and doctor of the church, born in what is known today as the lazio region of italy.”

“okay, and what did he do?”

“uh, his most important contribution to western thought is the concept of natural theology! …right?”

“mm, go on” namjoon leans back against his chair and plucks at his bottom lip as he skims over the notes on the back of the card again

“he… adhered to the platonic and aristotelian principle of realism, which holds that certain absolutes exist in the universe, including the existence of the universe itself…?”

namjoon puts the card down and stares at you and ur like o shit am i wrong

a smile creeps onto his face and he raises his fist for you to bump “you got it!”

“yAY” you give him a fist bump and apologise quietly when you hear someone in the distance go ‘shh!!!!!’

they’ve shushed you like five times in the last hour

whoops

both you and namjoon exchange glances before bursting into giggles

“uGHhgH namJOoON” you groan and slump against the table as you twirl your pencil between your fingers

today’s been a pretty slow day

wednesdays are your longest days because you have classes from 9 to 6

and now you’re at the library and namjoon is forcing you to study even though you’re like hey let’s rearrange books or something!!!! let me do my job!!!!

“no complaining! now sit up straight and listen to me.”

you ignore him and continue twirling your pencil around

“y/n. sit up and listen.” he sighs and raises an eyebrow

you curse to yourself quietly before forcing yourself to sit up but you slump against the chair as if your bones were made of jelly

okay

well

better than nothing

“okay, let me tell you about the gemeinschaft-gesellschaft dichotomy. it was proposed by tönnies as a purely conceptual tool rather than an ideal type in the way it was used by max weber to accentuate the key elements of a historic or social change. got it?”

you give namjoon a pointed look before huffing “no”

namjoon lets out a slow sigh and looks through his notes again

meanwhile you’re spinning around and around on your wheely chair

namjoon’s hand shoots out and grips onto the arm of your chair to stop you “how about we take a break?”

“yEs i love that! now that i understand.” you stretch your limbs out but quickly curl up when your stomach rumbles

huh

you forgot that you didn’t get a chance to eat lunch today

namjoon clears his throat

“i actually,.., um, i brought you some food today!” namjoon turns and grabs the paper bag sitting on his desk

you raise a brow

“you did?”

hm

that’s a surprise

that’s actually really nice of him

“you’ve been working and studying pretty hard lately so i thought i’d treat you to lunch! turkey on whole wheat with spicy mustard.” namjoon clears his throat and hands you the bag before reaching up to scratch the back of his neck “and also a honey crisp apple… and two caramel candies.”

oh

he

he remembered your favourite kind of sandwich and your favourite kind of apple

which means he went out of his way to buy ingredients that he would usually stay the heck away from

that’s… that’s kind of sweet actually

“you remembered what i like?” you reach into the bag and pull out the neatly wrapped sandwich

“the, uh, the dorky glasses make me more observant” namjoon taps the frames gently and you laugh

“look, i didn’t mean- like, dorky isn’t necessarily a bad thing i just- it’s cute! you’re cute” you flush immediately wOw what is wrong with you

you clear your throat “your glasses are cute. your glasses.” you murmur

both you and namjoon avoid gazes and you don’t realise it but both your faces are on fire

namjoon twiddles with his thumbs and bites back his smile  

you’re about to take a bite of your sandwich before you realise he’S not eating anything “hey, where’s your food?”

“oH, right” namjoon twists back and grabs his paper bag

“lemme guess - turkey on white with mayo with a red apple.”

“ah, nice guess, but i’m afraid you’ve been mistaken” namjoon tsks and shakes his head “it’s tuna sandwich tuesday!! and i brought a pear!”

you snort and roll your eyes playfully

only namjoon would have a tuna sandwich tuesday

“i believe that’s another point to me” namjoon leans back against his chair proudly after he makes yet anotHer paper ball dunk into the waste bin

you convinced him to take a lil break since you’ve been studying for an hour and a half and your brain is about to explode

and today you’re the one who brought lunch for him

you bought soup from the cafeteria!! luckily they made his favourite today!! chicken soup

he got so excited when you presented the little take-out bowl to him

he even offered you a spoonful and at first you were like nah but he said look the cafe’s chicken soup is AMAzing you will not regret this

he blew over it to cool it down first before feeding it to you and you were like o shit ur right this is good

he ended up feeding you a couple more spoonfuls as you looked over your notes

it was kinda cute but whateva

so it’s kind of that after-lunch lull where your tummies are full and you’re feeling lazy

which is why you and namjoon are competing in paper-ball

and namjoon is winning which is very surprising

whenever you play paper-ball with jimin you’re always in the lead so you’re not used to thIS

you’re realising now that you might be a bit of a sore loser

“it’s getting hot in here - it must be because i’m on fire.” namjoon smirks as he adds another dash under his name

“lame” you roll your eyes as you crush up another paper ball

“okay but seriously i’m like sweating” namjoon sits up and peels his sweater-vest off before unbuttoning a couple buttons on his shirt and rolling his sleeves up neatly

your eyes flicker over to his now exposed forearms

he has.,.., really sexy arms.,,.. what the hell,.,,

namjoon wheels a little closer to you until his knee is in between your legs “here lemme do it because your paper-balls all sucK” namjoon takes the ball from your hand and you feel a lil ziPzaP when his fingers brush over yours

what the hell x2.,.,.,., his hANDS.,.,.,., even his hANDS ARE SEXY

“what’s the matter with you? where’s the witty retort?” you look up from his hands quickly and namjoon’s grinning at you in a way that makes your heart skip a beat

.,.. EVEN HIS TEETH ARE PERFECT???

omg

what’s happening to you

you look away quickly and try to snap yourself out of it

what the fuck

what the fuck is happening

what’s going on with your body

why are your hands clammy

why is your heart racing like this

why do you want him to scoot evEN closer

you like namjoon

oh no

you like namjoon

oh NO sweetie you do NOT like kim namjoon

yes you do

no you don’t

mmmmmyes you do

NO you don’t you can’t like namjoon!!! he’s the worst!

he’s the best and you love him

he wears stupid sweater vests!!

he can pull it off tho and also his button-up is kind of thin today and you can see very faint outlines of his abs and it makes you want to run your hands over his bronzey smooth skin you LOVe it you perv

“y/n? you okay?” namjoon taps your knee gently and raises a brow when you jumP in your seat  

“i’m good! i’m just…” you snatch the paper ball from his grasp and point to the waste bin “i’m just getting my heaD in the game because i’m going to kick your ass”

namjoon laughs before gesturing for you to throw “i’d like to see you try.” he leans back against his chair and crosses his arms

frick

even THAt was sexy

you are losing your mind

you like kim namjoon

“good morning!” namjoon plops down next to you and you let out a little yawn as a good morning “today’s the big day~” he wiggles his brows “you ready?”

you look down at your flashcards and your notes and give a little shrug

you think you’re ready?? maybe

“i guess so??” you murmur and stretch your limbs out

you decided to come to the library before your 8AM exam because.,,,.., uh.,,,.,

okay you just wanted to see namjoon so WHAT

“i have something for you-“ namjoon rummages through his bag before pulling out a bracelet looking thing

a bunch of different shades of purple threads braided together neatly

she looks a little worn out but she still cute

“this was my good luck bracelet when i was doing exams during my last year - i thought maybe you’d want to wear it or something? you don’t have to, obviously, but i know how nervous you are and… yeah, i don’t know… i just wanted to give it to you i guess“

there it is again

your heart just went boom-boom for joon-joon

you press your lips together to hold back a dorky smile before you stick your hand out for namjoon “i need all the luck i can get”

namjoon smiles and shakes his head as he ties the bracelet around your wrist carefully “you don’t need any luck. i believe in you!” he glances at the clock hanging behind you on the wall “you better get going - it’s 7:42.”

you let out a little sigh before getting up off the seat and grabbing your pencil case and your water bottle

namjoon looks up at you with a small smile “i’ll see you after your exam?” he watches as you open the little gate to step out

“if i survive, that is” you retort and namjoon rolls his eyes

you’re about to walk out but you turn around swiftly “namjoon?”

namjoon looks up at you “mm?”

“thank you… for everything.” you murmur shyly while twisting the bracelet around your wrist “you’re… not bad. not bad at all.”

you don’t really know what to saY but all you know is that you’re super appreciative and grateful to have someone like namjoon,,, care about you

and you’re already not good with emotional things so ‘you’re not bad at all’ is a pretty big thing to say in your opinion!!!

lucky for you

namjoon fully understands

namjoon’s cheeks flush slightly and he shakes his head “get outta here you sappy loser”

he lets out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding once you leave the library

and now that he has this moment alone

a realisation begins to creep into his mind

he likes you

well it’s pretty obvious at this point

things that used to irritate him about you are now endearing

he makes lunch for you willingly

he doesn’t flinch or move away when you initiate contact

he actually pays attention to your lame jokes

he gave you his good luck bracelet for god’s sakes

he likes you

you’ve been on edge for the whole day

this morning you got your philosophy final exam back

for a whole week this exam was on your mind and now it’s finally back in your hands and you can’t even bring yourself to look at your grade

because you’re terrified

you’re terrified that you failed yet another exam and you’ll have to graduate a year behind all of your friends and you’ll have to put your life on hold because you were a dumbass in university

and you’re terrified that you disappointed jin and jimin and namjoon

you don’t want to disappoint namjoon

but your exam has been burning a hole in your backpack and you figure that it’s now or never

“oh pleasepleaseplease” you whisper to yourself as your trembling fingers gently pull the crinkled, folded up piece of paper from your backpack

okay

hoo

okay

no need to panic

it’s just your philosophy final that you had to get at least a 90% on to make up for the rest of your shitty grades in that course

you pinch the corner of the page getting ready to flip it open

you take your bottom lip in between your teeth nervously

you squeeze your eyes shut

it’s now or never

you unfold it in one smooth motion and the paper makes a thwacking sound as you do so

you peel an eye open

you peel the other eye open

and the blood drains from your face

namjoon’s in the middle of putting books back onto the shelves

it’s the end of the day and there aren’t a lot of people around so it’s nice and quiet

namjoon likes these nice and quiet days

it’s just him and the books

him and his library

and then he hears something

frantic footsteps slapping against the floor in the distance

huh

someone must be in a rush

he furrows his brows when the footsteps get louder

and he whips around to look at the entrance of the library with narrowed eyes

…

…

…

bAM

he yelps in fear when the doors suddenly buRST open and a manic-looking you appears with wide eyes and a huGe (slightly terrifying) grin

you look around the library before you lock gazes with namjoon and if it’s even possible your smile grows wider

oh good god

you look like what’d he’d see in the corner of his room if he ever got sleep paralysis

“what-“

“yoU BEAUTIFUL TREE OF A MAN I LOVE YOU” the next thing namjoon knows you’re leaping into his arms and he quickly grips under your thighs instinctively so that you don’t fall flat on your ass

he stumbles backwards a little and his fingers dig into the flesh of your thighs as you smoosh kisses all over his face

he’s certainly not complaining but whAt the hell is going on

you drop back down onto your feet and you unravel your arms around namjoon’s neck and throw your hands up in the air “i goT 98% ON MY EXAM” you squeal excitedly before wrapping your arms around his neck in a hug and bouncing up and down and oHHH now he sees why you’re acting like a psychopath

“see!!!! i told you you could do it i’m sO ProuD of you!!!!!!!” namjoon grins and wraps his arms around your waist and twirls you around in a circle “98% is so good!!!!!”

“i know!! i never get a 98% on anything!!!” you giggle and pull away from the crook of his neck

your arms are still wrapped around his neck and his arms are still wrapped around your waist

your breathing slows down a bit as you start to calm down and

oh

your faces are very very close

and suddenly

you feel this overwhelming urge to kiss namjoon

you want him to kiss you

namjoon’s eyes flicker down to your lips and you feel your heart pounding in your chest

it’s going to happen

he’s going to kiss you  

you’re disappointed when he quickly takes a step back and pulls away from you

you clear your throat and smooth your skirt down and namjoon adjusts his wonky glasses

both of your guys’ faces are on fire

“anyways - 98% is really good! aim for 99% next time.” namjoon teases and turns around to look at his book cart again and the moment he turns away from u he mouths a ‘wHAT THE FUCK’ to himself because WHAT THE FUCK

meanwhile your face is on fire because that was deFINTEly something

you guys had a moment

does this mean namjoon likes you back

omg

doES IT?????

“joon” you approach him and tap his shoulder gently before standing next to him

“mhm?” he glances at you briefly before looking back at the books on the cart

you get up on your tiptoes and plant a little smooch on his cheek and namjoon freezes immediately

“is there anything for me to do?” you ask casually as if you didn’t just kiSS HIS CHEEK

“u-uh-“

“oh shoot you know what i was organising the thriller novels before my exam and i never finished doing that! let me go do that now and then you can give me something else to do” you disappear in between the shelves and namjoon blinks owlishly

he reaches up and brushes his fingers over his hot cheek

and the FATTEST smile appears on his face

today’s been kind of a slow day

namjoon texted you earlier and said he’d be in late today

so here you are

sitting behind the front counter

alone

well, not exactly

lisa, wendy and jisoo came to keep you company even though you insisted you were fine

they texted and asked if you wanted to grab some lunch and when you didn’t respond they all came to ambush you at the library

“yeah, sure! as soon as namjoon gets here we can go get some food.” you smile politely before looking back down at the computer

these girls,,, well they’re not your frieNds exactly

they’re in a couple of your classes

let’s just say they’re a whole lot more popular than you think you’ll ever be

they’ve taken a liking to you for some reason and you don’t mind because the more the merrier!! also it’s kinda cool because in high school you were never really friends with the ‘’’’’cool gals’’’’’’ so there’s that too

also you think another reason why they hang around you is because you’re friends with guys like jimin and jungkook and you don’t want to be that person but like..,,. YEaH ur boy-friends are really attractive so it makes sense to go through you to get to them (spoiler alert jimin and jungkook do not like any single one of these girls but you don’t have the heart to break the news to them)

“namjoon… why does that name sound so familiar” lisa furrows her brows and leans against the counter

“remember? he was that guy in our philosophy lecture last year - the one who sat at the front? he graduated last year” you hum and scribble something down

“oh shit, i remember!!!” lisa gasps “…oh god, he was awful. such a try-hard”

wait what

your head pops up and you furrow your brows “well like he’s not a try-hard he’s just passionate about-“

“i hated him. he kept reminding the prof to give us pop quizzes” wendy shudders

“i bet he’s still a virgin”

“who cares if he-“

“i bet he hasn’t had his first kiss yet”

“we can’t just assume that he hasn’t just because he-“

“yeah, i wouldn’t be surprised” jisoo snorts “who the hell would wanna kiss someone who looks like that?”

what the hell

what kind of assholey thing was that to say??

“…what?”

“oh, c’mon, y/n. the sweater vests. the pervert glasses.”

“he’s tall and gangly. no meat on his bones??”

“i could never even imagine dating a loser like that!”

and suddenly you remember why you don’t like these girls

namjoon is in a very vEry good mood today

and now he gets to spend the rest of the day with you so he’s teN times happier!!!!!!!

plus he brought lunch for you again because he knows that sometimes you neglect your stomach and he can’t have that (and as cute as your stomach rumbles are he wants to make sure you’re eating and not skipping lunch just because you’re too lazy to line up)

he hopes you like the sandwich

he cut it into the shape of a heart just because he thought it was kinda cute

and uh

the heart-sandwich kind of emphasises the fact that he likes you a lot

ALSO

he picked out a bunch of little daisies from the ground on his way here

and he tied them together in a little bouquet using a blade of grass

very rustic looking bouquet but still adorable!!

he looked like a madman yanKIng all the daisies out of the ground but u know what he’s embracing it because he’s a fool in LOVe

he accidentally stepped on a couple daisies and was like yikes

and he has a couple specks of dirt on his shirt but he’ll deal with it later

anyways

today’s the day he’s going to tell you that he likes you ~romantically~ and he’s going to ask if you wanna grab dinner after you guys leave the library tonight

he even made reservations at this cute cafe he hopes you’ll like

and he’s dressed extra spiffy today

his hair is swept back neatly and he even used a lil more gel to keep every strand in place

there’s not one speck of dust on his glasses lens

he ironed his tie and his button-up

and he’s wearing a brand new expensive cologne

all for you!!!!!! because you are woRth it

his heart skips a bit at the mere thought of your smile and that adorable giggle and the way your nose crinkles when he scolds you playfully

frick he likes u sO MCUH

he decides to take the back door today

just because the romance books are on the shelves in the back and he’s in a romantic mood and wants to pick out a book for you to read

he’s thinking Jane Austen’s ‘Persuasion’ is a good one

namjoon’s finger brushes over the spines of the books on the shelves as he looks for it

he perks up when he finds it

perfect!!!!!!!

he tucks the book under his arm and adjusts his book bag on his shoulder and triple checks that he has everything

sandwich? check

new book?? got it

flowers???? yEs

say it with me now: hoTEL?trivAGo

he hears the murmuring of some voices as he nears the front and he freezes when he hears his name float through the air

hm?

he pokes his head out from around the corner and sees you and a couple of who he can safely assume are your girl friends because they’re all giggling about something

namjoon furrows his brows and stays hidden behind a bookshelf

a little eavesdropping never hurts nobody

“you would never go out with someone like namjoon, right? i know i wouldn’t” lisa taps the top of your head to get your attention “not even if we were the last people on earth”

“yeah, i don’t think i would either” you reply automatically because if you said yEs i’d go for namjoon (and u totally would) you’d never hear the end of it

((but at the same time who cares about what these girls think?? they’re not ur real friends))

you don’t want to go out with them anymore

as soon as this conversation ends you’re kicking these assholes the heck out of the library

but you can’t kick them out without saying something nice about namjoon because ?? namjoon is one of the sweetest guys ever and they need to be aware of that

“but without him i wouldn’t have passed my exam so i have to give him some credit for that” you point out and hope that they’ll cut him some slack

wendy leans against the counter and gasps

“oh, i love that, you cold-hearted bitch!!! taking advantage of the smarty-pants virginey loser to pass your exams?? geniuS”

okay

that didn’t exactly work out

“you would never go out with someone like namjoon, right? i know i wouldn’t”

“yeah, i don’t think i would either”

…

…

…what?

namjoon deflates and he feels his heart clench in his chest

his fingers tighten around the paper bag and he takes a small step back

frick

he knew this day was going too well

you…

you really wouldn’t want to go out with him?

you wouldn’t even give him one chance?

was he really that awful?

“but without him i wouldn’t have passed my exam so i have to give him some credit for that”

“oh, i love that, you cold-hearted bitch!!! taking advantage of the smarty-pants, virginey loser to pass your exams?? geniuS”

namjoon’s eyes flutter shut and he presses his lips together

of course

of coursE this would happen to him

you were the one person that he thought might’ve actually like him back and it turns out you were only using him to pass your exams

how could he not have seen that????

you???? being interested in him?????

i m p o s s i b l e

you don’t go for dorky librarians like him

you go for guys like min yoongi and jeon jungkook and park jimin

well now he just feels stupid

he has a stupid heart shaped sandwich and a stupid honey crisp apple and a stupid packet of animal crackers in this stupid paper bag that has your name on it because he has a stupid crush on you and he really thought you liked him back and he was looking forward to taking you out on a stupid stUPID date

but of course the inevitable happens

you don’t like him… at all.

you used him?

your fingers tighten around the pen and you bite down on your tongue

these girls are getting on your nerves now

whatever

you’re kicking them out now you’re done with this  

“anyways - as much as i wanna talk about how much of a loser kim namjoon is,” you say sarcastically and make air quotes “i think i have some work to do so i’m going to have to put a rain check on-“

you jump when you hear the sound of some books toppling off the shelf and everyone immediately looks at the source of the sound

you stand up and peek over the girls’ shoulders

and the blood immediately drains from your face

“n-namjoon?”

oh,,,., god

oh no no nO

did he hear everything you said??

namjoon doesn’t think it’s possible for his heart to break even more

but then

“anyways - as much as i wanna talk about how much of a loser kim namjoon is, i think i have some work to do so i’m going to have to put…”

ouch

okay

big yikes

this did not go according to plan at all

maybe he should head out the back door and then come in through the front door and just act like everything is normal

yes

that’s a good plan

namjoon turns around to leave but he stumbles over his feet a little and his hands reach out to grip onto the bookshelf  

instead what happens is he shoves a couple books riGHt off the shelf and namjoon curses before automatically dropping to his knees to pick them up

“n-namjoon?”

oh shit

where does he go from hERE

namjoon freezes like a deer in headlights and he swallows thickly before slowly turning to look up at you “u-uh, i-i-“

“hey, look what the cat dragged in!” wendy coos and namjoon feels his heart starting to race in his chest when the girls approach him “what do we have here, hm?”

before he has the chance to pick up the paper bag jisoo snAtches it from the ground

“oh, y/n! it’s for you!” she unrolls the top and reaches it before pulling out the sandwich

she coos before pushing her bottom lip out in a mocking pout “aw, isn’t that cute? a wittle heart shaped sandwich for y/n!” her eyes flicker down to the bouquet of daisies that have now been tramPled on “and a bouquet of weeds!! ever the romantic, aren’t you??”

namjoon feels his entire face flush bright red and he’s struggling to put the books back onto the shelf

he’s just doing whatever it takes to avoid eye contact with the girls

“you’re looking a little red, namjoon. maybe you should take that cardigan off?” wendy pinches his cheek and namjoon gets off his knees immediately

although he towers over them he knows they’re the ones holding the power in this moment

“what’s the matter? you’re not even going to say hi to y/n??” lisa frowns before gesturing to you

namjoon locks gazes with you and your heart clenches when you’re able to see the pure hurt and pain in his glassy eyes

he looks away from you immediately and bends down to grab his bag

“nam-“ the next thing you know he spRints towards the front door and leaves

all three girls burst into laughter and jisoo tosses the paper bag and the flowers onto the front counter and it lands right in front of you

your heart tightens at the sight of your name scribbled on it with a little heart drawn next to it

you pick up the bouquet of daises and they flop down against your fingers sadly

“…you guys are assholes” you hiss and start packing up your things

“what? y/n, what’s wr-“

“all of you - get out!” you snap and point towards the door as you zip your backpack up frantically

the girls all exchange glances before scoffing and leaving the library

good fucking riddance

you basically leAp over the gate and sprint towards the front door

you’re not technically supposed to leave the library because no one’s at the front desk but you need to find namjoon

jesus

you should’ve said something!!! you should’ve stuck up for joon!!!! why didn’t you???

why didn’t you stick up namjoon who always makes sure you’re drinking enough water and eating enough food and not skipping meals and who always offers to get you a snack whenever he goes to the cafe and is always very patient with you when he’s teaching you something new and is always giving you new books to read

namjoon with his boisterous laugh when you or that shy giggle he does where he covers his mouth and his eyes crinkle

namjoon who makes you feel happy and safe and warm and smart and all the good things in the world

namjoon who makes your heart go boom-boom because of how sweet and caring and wonderful he is

namjoon who has two left feet and has officially tripped his way into your heart

you look like a maniac because you’re sprinting everywhere to try and find namjoon but you seriously don’t know where he is

you’re out of breath and your bag is flopping against your back anD you’re holding onto the daises and the paper bag for dear life

you spend an hour trying to find namjoon

but he’s nowhere to be found

you end up back at the library and you let out a sigh as you shut the gate behind you

it’s the end of the day so there’s nobody around really

the sun is beginning to set

you groan and slam your head against the desk in frustration

you

are

an idiot

congratulations, y/n y/l/n - you fucked up.

“thank you” namjoon smiles at the waitress before sitting up a little straighter and reaching out for the sandwich on his plate

he takes a small bite and his eyes flicker to across the booth where you should be

suddenly he’s not feeling very hungry anymore

he swallows his bite and pushes the plate away before slumping against the booth and looking out the window of the cafe

he curses to himself when he feels a lump growing in his throat

he feels dumb crying over you

he should’ve known you would never go for someone like him

he sniffles and reaches up to dab away the single tear that’s threatening to spill over

namjoon doesn’t come to work the next day

instead you’re met with the sight of some random guy sitting behind the counter

his name is hoseok and he’s all smiles and you’re sure he’s a nice guy but he’s really getting on your nerves right now

and he has the audacity to ask you if you need help with anything

he’s sitting in namjoon’s chair!!!!!!

“sorry- where’s namjoon?” you interrupt his little rant about his day and he blinks at you

“hm? oh! uh, not sure… would you like me to try contacting him for you? if you have a question about how things work around here you can always ask me! i used to work at the library but they told me i talked too much buT here i am again because-”

oh my god this guy is infuriating

namjoon doesn’t come to work the next day

or the next

or the next

or the next

you’re starting to get worried

you’ve texted him - no response

you’ve called him - no response

you talked to jin and jin told you that you actually have enough extra credit now!! so you’ve been relieved of your librarian duties buT since namjoon isn’t there you can fill in for him til he comes back

“i thought i was supposed to continue working there til the end of the semester? and after the semester ends i’ll get the extra credit?”

“yeah, i thought so too - but i guess you’ve done such a good job that namjoon’s given you extra exTra credit!! good job!!!” jin grins and claps his hands together “goodbye summer school!!!!!! now, listen, let’s not fail our courses so that i don’t have to have this discussion with you again, how about we…”

o god

namjoon doesn’t want you around anymore thAt’s why he gave you the all extra credit immediately

you slump against the seat as jin continues to blab about a study plan for you

what are you doing to do now?

two weeks pass by and you’ve gone to the library every single day in hopes that namjoon will be there

instead you’re met with hoseok’s smiling face

side note: you’ve warmed up to him he’s actually really sweet

but you just

you miss your joonie

so when you walk into the library after a particularly tiring day and see namjoon sitting at the desk instead of hoseok

you’re understandably a little shook

“namjoon?? where have you been????” you gasp and shut the gate behind you “i-i’ve texted and i tried calling you but you-“

“i just needed a break.” namjoon shrugs

there’s an awkward silence between the two of you and you pluck at a loose thread on your sweater

okay

you need to say something

you had something planned out but for some reason you can’t remember what you were going to say

how about you start off with sorry

okay

that’s a good plan

start off with sorry

easy peasy lemon squeezy

you clear your throat and sit down in your chair before scooting closer to namjoon

he doesn’t budge

that’s a good sign.,., right

“hey, uh, look - i’m sorry-“

“it’s fine.” namjoon replies softly and flips to the next page in his book

it’s obviously not

he can’t even look you in the eye

“namjoon, i-“

“i think you should go. people who aren’t librarians aren’t supposed to be behind the desk.” namjoon snaps his book shut before getting up off his seat and walking over to the gate

he holds it open for you

okay

you deserve that

“i just wanted to say that i’m sorry-“

“yeah, i got it. is there anything else i can help you with?”

god

u feel awful

you pluck at the purple bracelet around your wrist nervously

“please, just give me a second to explain-“

“you’ve done plenty of explaining. i get it. i’m not good enough for little miss y/n y/l/n.” namjoon scoffs “message received loud and clear.”

“no, that’s not tru-“

“now if you’ll excuse me, i have some students waiting who actually need help.” namjoon gestures to the line of students before pointing at the gate

you swallow the lump in your throat and you stand up and grab your bag

difficult difficult orange difficult

namjoon feels a twinge of guilt nibbling away at his conscience

it’s been about

five days? since he last saw you

five days since you tried apologising and he didn’t even give you a second to explain yourself which honestly wasn’t fair of him

and he wants to talk to you and stuff but,..,., like.,. he’s never experienced anything like this before and he doesn’t know what to do

are the two of you just going to avoid each other for the rest of your time here

the only time you interact will be when you check out a book at the library which very rarELy happens

he can’t help but wonder when he’ll see you again

the next time he sees you he’s definitely going to say something

and it seems like someone up there is either on his side or really hates him

because there you are

behind the counter

but he hasn’t had a chance to prepare for this situation and whAT IS HE GOING TO SAY TO U

it’s then that he notices that something is off

“y/n? what are you doing here? you don’t work here anymore and… it’s saturday.”

namjoon jumps when you whIP around clutching a bunch of books to your chest

“i put all the returned books away. i stamped all the new books on the first page and not the front cover-“

namjoon can barely pay attention to what you’re saying because you look

well

you looking a little rough girl

there are bags under your bloodshot eyes

your hair is pulled up into a messy bun

there’s a pen stuck through the bun

your reading glasses are tangled in your hair

“i also put the new books into the cataloguing system so you don’t have to spend this weekend doing that anymore!! you can go home and rest if you want!! i-i can take care of it!!”

“how long have you been h-“  

“i’ve restrung all the old books that are falling apart! i-i vacuumed behind the desk and i dusted the bookshelves too-“ you gesture wildly to the bookshelves

“y/n - jesus, you look like you’re about to pass out i think you should rest” namjoon rushes behind the counter and grabs onto your shoulders to steady you because you’re starting to sway a little bit

even though he’s still hurt by what happened he’s not going to prioritise thAt before you especially since you don’t look so good right now

also now that a good amount of time has passed he’s slowly starting to get over it

if you don’t like him like that then you don’t like him like that

there’s nothing he can do about it

he just has to accept it

“no namjoon listen to me look i even restocked on those black pens you like so much and i didn’t use my glittery pink pens when i labelled the books!” you sniffle and look up at him with watery eyes before gesturing to the cup of pens

“yes, i see that-“

“i just need you to know how sorry i am, okay?”

“yes, and i’ve forgiven you-“

“no, you haven’t! you haven’t forgiven me and i can see why! if i were in your shoes i wouldn’t forgive me! i’m just an asshole and there’s literally no excuse in the world to defend what i said about you and i feel awful and i’d understand if you never wanna see me again because i would never wanna see me again-“

“-y/n-“

“but you’re literally the sweetest guy i’ve ever met and i like you so sO much and you didn’t have to help me study for my finals and you didn’t have to give me extra credit-“

“-y/n-“

“and you need to know that i don’t think all those awful things about you i was just being stuPId because those girls make me act stupid and i don’t know i should’ve defended you but i didn’t but i reaLLy wanted to but i-i just froze and i didn’t know what to do and aLSO i’m not letting you give me extra credit because i’m smart enough to know that i have to finish working for a full semester before you administer extra credit-

“oH my god will u just shUT UP”

in a raRe act of spontaneity namjoon grabs your cheeks and bends down and plants his lips right against yours

and as cheesy as it seems

f i r e w o r k s

your eyes flutter shut and you fist namjoon’s shirt in your hands as you kiss him back

and then namjoon realizes the the fact he’s kissing you

he’s kissing you

he pulls away quickly and steps back and you immediately miss his warmth but also

he just kissed you

did that really happen??

or are you overtired and you just dreamt that whole thing up??

“wha…”

“i forgive you, alright? and… you can come back and work here for your extra credit.” namjoon clears his throat and scratches the back of his neck “now go and take a nap before you pass out right here right now”

his entire face is on fire

what the hell was THAT

namjoon watches as you lie down behind the counter and cuddle up to a makeshift pillow (his hoodie that he let you borrow after a long night of studying)

a couple days go by

things are

kinda normal ??

you guys are slowly falling back into your old routine

you apologise again and namjoon reassures you that he’s forgiven you and tells you to stop saying sorry before he kicks you out again

you get a chance to fully explain the situation and noW namjoon definitely forgives you

it was a misunderstanding and yeah he was pretty hurt but

he’s over it now

and he tells you to quit apologising otherwise he’ll make you a sandwich with no mayonnaise at aLL and you shut up immediately

also

you two haven’t brought up the kiss at all

namjoon is mortified

he’s never going to be spontaneous ever again

do you even remember kissing him?? (yes u do and ur freaking out about it)

god he hopes not

jeSus

if it isn’t obvious by now namjoon is a lil bit of a coward

it’s not his fault!!!!

why would a sane person want to step out of their comfort zone?? just STAY in the comfort zone that’s why it’s called the C OM F O R T zone

things that are within the vicinity of kim namjoon’s comfort zone:

1) adding a touch of sriracha to his sandwiches for a LITTLE bit of a kick

2) drinking soup and wearing a crisp, white button-up because he’s very neat and is 100% positive he won’t get a droplet of soup on his shirt

3) not making a move on you because he doesn’t know what to do and if he doesn’t know what to do he’s just going to leave it like that

you, on the other hand

you are very different

things that are within the vicinity of y/n y/l/n’s comfort zone:

1) adding a SHITloAD of spicy mustard to your sandwiches because p a i n   i s p le a su re

2) drinking soup and wearing a white tee-shirt because who cares?? if u stain the shirt you can just say you bought it like that AND it gives your clothes more character

3) making many maNy moves on namjoon to try and encourage him to reciprocate affection and eventually admit that he has feelings for you

“good morning, joonie~” namjoon’s eyes pop open when you lean down and plant a ‘’;’friendly’;;’;’ kiss on his cheek

o

that was unexpected

“morning” he clears his throat and stays quiet as you sit down and pull your things out

you wheel closer to him and look down at the desk “whatcha doin?”

“uh,” namjoon looks down at the book on the desk “re-binding a book… it, um, it was kinda falling apart but to be fair it’s a really old book so i can see why-“

“do you need help??” you reach over and brush your fingers over where namjoon’s holding the spine of the book down as he waits for the glue to dry

his cheeks immediately buRST into flames and he yanks his hand away before breaking into a nervous laugh “no!! it’s okay!!! i- uh, i suddenly remembered i.,,. i have to pEE” the chair spiNS in circles from how quickly he zippEd off of it and you let out a small breath

this is going to be a lot harder than u thought

“y/n, where did you- oh, there you are! your soup is getting cold” namjoon scratches the back of his neck

he furrows his brows when he sees you on your tip-toes on the toP STEP of the very VERY old wooden ladder

you turn to glance at him “oh, hey! i’ll be right there. i’m just cataloguing some of these older books”

“okay, um- maybe you should use the metal ladder instead?? didn’t i tell you the wooden one is basically falling apart?” namjoon adjusts his collar nervously

o god

his palms are getting sweaty

you look down at the ladder before shaking your head

“you never told me that”

LIES

he DID tell you that but this is all part of your master scheme

>:-)

although you’re probably going to break every single bone in ur body if you’re not careful so u should probably get off soon

you’re not aware of this yet but the weak wood is starting to splinter a bit under your weight

“i’m fine, joon. look!” namjoon’s heart stops in his chest when you stomp down on the step in a poor attempt to prove its stability “see?? totally fine”

oh my god

you’re purposely trying to kill him aren’t you

luckILY it doesn’t fall apart

and then he hears the first splinter

and a crack

and another crack

namjoon’s superman instincts immediately kick into gear and he zips towards you when the ladder suddenly snaps and you’re sent hurdLING TO THE GROUND

you find yourself in namjoon’s arms in a millisecond after falling and you blink up at him “holy shit”

“i toLD YOU” namjoon scolds and doesn’t budge when you slip an arm around his shoulder and praCTIcally cuddle up to him “i told you the wooden one was crap but you neveR listen to me and you could’ve seriously hurt yourself and whAT was the whole stomping thing are you an IDIOT-“

“you care about me” you grin and poke his chest and namjoon glances down at you

he clears his throat

“of course i care about u” he lets you back down onto your feet and takes a step away from you “now come and eat ur stupid soup before i smack u”

somehow you end up tricking namjoon into feeding you spoonfuls of soup because you’re “still shaken up from what just happened”

namjoon rolls his eyes at your antics but uh

he plays along

:-)

“y/n y/l/n??? reading??? preposterous!” you look up from your book when namjoon suddenly appears and sets a stack of books on the countertop

“don’t use your fancy vocabulary in front of me, you know i only know like 3 words maximum”

“what are you reading?” he adjusts his glasses and peeks over a little

“i don’t even know what i’m reading. i just picked it up because i was bored. it’s called ‘Captain Corelli’s Mandolin’. i thought it was about pirates but it’s….. noT.”

of course u thought it was about pirates

“oh! i’ve read that one! Louis de Bernières, right?”

you close the book to look at the front cover

“ya it’s lewis dee bearnards.”

namjoon looks at you like,, okay A+ for effort

“read it out loud”

“don’t you have work to do?”

“i do, but read a line to me! refresh my memory”

“alright, alright - here” you lean your elbows on the counter so that you’re right next to namjoon

you clear your throat and open the book to find where you were at

“When you fall in love, it is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake, and then it subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots are to become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is.”

“Because this is what love is.” namjoon quotes quietly and you put the book down

the two of you lock gazes and you can’t help but notice that something feels different between the two of you

and then you find yourself leaning closer

and closer

and closer

and-

“anYways it’s a really good boOk” namjoon suddenly stands up before clumsily picking up the stack of books “i’ll be in the back!!!!!!”

you groan quietly

SO close

“thanks for walking me home” you smile up at joon and he nods in response “and thanks for lending me your cardigan”

you slip your arm from his as you go to unlock your door

you turn around and wrinkle your nose “you probably want your cardigan ba-“

“you can keep it!” namjoon blurts out and quickly looks away “i mean, um… if you want. you can keep it. so next time you have something to keep you warm when it’s cold?”

you press your lips together to hide your grin and you nod and look down at the plain brown cardigan “okay, well… thanks again.” you murmur and take a lil step closer to namjoon

he looks up at you in surprise and you can FEEL the magnetic attraction bringing the two of you closer and closer

it’s going to happen

he’s going to kiss you at your front door

and it’s going to be magical

and then-

“i think i left my oven on at home” namjoon breathes out and he’s SO close you feel his breath wash over your lips “can i text you later?”

god DAMNIT

this is fucking ridiculous

you and joon keep having these almost-kiss moments and you will GLADLY smooch the man but he backs out every time and is like hOohOo i’ll be in the back!!!!!!!!! or he’ll be like i NEED 2 PEE or like i NEED TO READ A BOOK NOW

whenever you’re standing near him or your knee brushes over his when you guys are sitting with each other he gets all nervous and jittery and his face gets all flushed and then he’s like i NEED TO DUST SOMETHING

and then when he leaves each time you have to refrain yourself from grabbing the stapler and like stapling your fingers together out of frustration

he’s just so!!!!!!!! he’s being such a nAMJOON

you’ve never really chased a guy down like this before

and at first it was fun but now you’re just frustrated

so you’ve finally decided it’s time for the last resort

as much as you hate confrontation

it’s necessary in this situation

“i have a question for you” you murmur as you scribble a note down in your journal

it’s a pretty quiet afternoon in the library (as per usual except there are less people here since exam season is over)

namjoon’s sitting behind the counter and you’re standing in front of it doing your work because you felt like your ass was going to fall off from how numb it became due to you sitting on it for like 5 hours straight

you set your pencil down quietly “joon.”

namjoon sighs and flips through his book “if it’s about the online library system i told you you have to hit the big green button for it to sav-“

“why don’t you wanna kiss me again? i know you like me too”

wait wat

namjoon chokes on his tea and pats his chest a couple times before quickly adjusting his glasses

did you just

did he hear you right

what the fu

what???

what’s happening

is this a fever dream

you like him too?

“sorry - w-what?”

“i said - i know you like me too. so what’s the problem, dimples?” you lean over on the counter and prop your chin up on your palm

what’s the problem?

the problem is that this is way too good to be true

he knows exactly what’s happening

you don’t like him you only think you like him

he doesn’t need your pity

you’re only saying you like him because he’s the lame librarian and he’s not mr athlete like yoongi and you’re trying to make him feel better

“i- who- look, i don’t know who put this ridiculous idea in your head, but i-i don’t!” namjoon gets up from his chair quickly and walks out from behind the counter

the little gate snAPS shut

“why’d you kiss me in the first place then??”

…,.,.touché

“to get you to shuT uP” namjoon explains as if it’s the most obvious answer in the world even though he’s definitely lying thru his teeth right now

“to get me to shut up mY ASS”

namjoon bites down on in inside of his cheek and suppresses a groan

OH my god you are so IRRITATING

“wha- if anything, i think you’re the most infuriating, annoying, and obnoxious girl i’ve ever met!” namjoon takes a step towards you and towers over you but you don’t budge “you- you always crash the cataloguing system and you never put the books back in alphabetical order like you’re supposed to and on top of that you’re always bringing your dumb snacks in here and you always leave crumbs everywhere for me to clean up even though i’ve told you multiple times you have to clean up after yoursel- mmph!”

namjoon’s eyes go as wide as saucers when you’re suddenly grabbing him by the collar of his shirt and yanking him down so that you can kiss him

S M O O C H

you pull away and namjoon blinks quickly before his cheeks flare up

you let go of his collar and smooth it down before prodding your finger into his chest accusingly

“you have all these complaints about me yet you never activELy try to stop me and that signals to me that yoU LIKE ME- oh!” namjoon’s suddenly grabbing your waist and pushing you up against the counter and then he leans down to mash his lips against yours

you feel the sting from where the counter is digging into your back but holy shit you do noT give a fuck right now

his hands are cupping your face and he tilts his head to deepen the kiss

namjoon licks into your mouth and you let out a small noise of surprise

you whimper and tug at his tie to pull him even closer to you

“waIt wait wait oh god this is highly inappropriate y/n we’re in an educational setting” namjoon pulls away from you and you find yourself chasing after his lips before you’re like you’rE right you’re right

so the two of you step away from each other and you smooth out your shirt while namjoon adjusts his collar

the two of you look at each other and lock gazes

…

and then you’re immediately lunging at each other again and namjoon’s strong arms wrap around your waist while your arms wrap around his neck

he lifts you up in one swift movement and you find yourself sitting on the countertop leaning down to kiss joon while he slots himself in between your legs and places one hand on your waist while the other rests on your thigh

“you’re a very good kisser” you murmur into the kiss  

“don’t underestimate me” he squeezes your thigh and you smack his hand away when it starts sliding up higher and higher

“so are you still positive that you don’t like me back?” you pout and slide a hand down his chest and namjoon reaches up to wrap his fingers around your wrist

he purses his lips and pretends to think “you might have to kiss me again and then i’ll have a definite answer for you”

you giggle and cup his cheeks before leaning in to give him a sweet little peck and namjoon hums happily

“…yeah, i definitely like you back”

the two of you can’t hide the fat grins on your faces

god bless the library

surprisingly enough you aren’t actually that much of a party person

just because going to parties requires so much damn effort

you take like two hours to slather 10 pounds of makeup on your face and another hour to squeeze into a saucy outfit

and then when you get to the frat house it’s all dark inside so doing your makeup wasn’t even worth it

and when you sit down you have to sit straight otherwise you’ll buSt out of your jeans

you only go to parties because of jimin

he usually takes care of the drinks and it would be plain rude of you to say no to free drinks!!!!!!!!

the basketball team is celebrating their big win and they’re going aLL out and they asked jimin to take care of the drinks for them at this party and so jimin was like ya you don’t have a choice you have to come to the party

and you know jimin’s going to be busy all night so you invited namjoon to come along

no offence to your sweet boyfriend but you hope he doesn’t get too overwhelmed because he gets overwhelmed pretty easily

obviously parties aren’t his scene which isn’t a bad thing

you told him that if he was uncomfortable and wanted to leave you would totally leave with him

you’re predicting that he’s going to show up in a sweater vest or something

bless him

to be fair you’re wearing one of his cardigans over your outfit right now just because it’s still a little chilly out anD the cardigan kind of matched with your ~lewk~ for the night

and also it smells like him and makes u feel cozy

:~)

“look at this set up! this is like a legit bar” you smooth your hands over the marble countertop and jimin nods enthusiastically

“i know right!!! you’re lucky that you’re friends with the bartender - so what can i get for you tonight, ma’am?” jimin smirks and tosses a rag over his shoulder before wiggling his brows

“surprise me, minnie” you grin

“where’s namjoon?” jimin plops a chunk of lime into the shaker

“he’s on his way! he wanted to stay back and clean up before coming here and he-“ your phone suddenly buzzes in your pocket “-and he’s calling me right now pardon me” jimin nods and wanders off to the other end of the bar for the ice

“hello?”

“hey, i just got here - where are you?”

“i’m by the bar! i’m wearing your cardigan so-“

“oh! okay, i see you. i’ll see you in a sec” you hang up and slip your phone into your back pocket and jimin wanders back over with your drink

“i’ll start you off with a spicy blackberry margarita” you ‘ooh’ in amazement because this looks like a veRy fancy drink

jimin watches you expectantly as you take a sip and your eyes pop open “this is SO good!!!!! please keep them coming or i’m suing” you murmur while taking the straw in between your lips again

“hi baby” you feel someone slip an arm around you from behind and you immediately recognise that musky cologne when joon props his chin up on your shoulder

“mm- hey dweeb” you pop a quick kiss on his cheek but you’re not really paying attention because this drink is bOMB

“what are you drinking?”

“it’s a spicy blackberry margarita. did you wanna try- woah.” you choke on your drink when namjoon sits on the stool next to you and you get a really reALLy good chance to look at your boyfriend because sweetie this is not your boyfriend

he has his hair slicked back

he’s not wearing his glasses

he has two small silver hoops hanging from his ears

he’s wearing a plain white tee that is very veRy tight around his biceps and a pair of ripped skinny jeans anD a pair of timberlands

y/n.exe has stopped working

“-whaaaaaaauhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh-“

whose mans is this

is this your mans???

this is your mans????

“aren’t you going to give me a proper kiss hello?” namjoon tilts his head and pouts

what the hell

what the hell?////???

“who are you and what did you do to namjoon?????” you manage to squeak out

he rolls his eyes playfully before leaning in and slotting his lips against yours

“cute outfit, by the way. a cardigan’s kinda dorky for a house party though, don’t you think?” he raises a brow and tugs you off your seat so you can stand in between his legs

“you’re calling me dorky??”

“i’m not the one wearing a cardigan at a party. have you never been to a party before?” namjoon slips his hands under the cardigan and rests his hands on your hips and gives you a little squeeze

“excuse-“

“y/n! hey, girl!” you feel a little piece of your soul die when you hear that familiar pitchy voice

you spin around in namjoon’s grip so that he’s hidden behind you

“wendy! …hey…” you clear your throat

you haven’t spoken to wendy or the others since the incident

just because they’re assholes and u don’t really,.,., like assholes??

“ugh, i’m so glad you made it! look, the girls and i just wanted to give you an apology.”

“well it’s not me you should be apologising to” you raise a brow

wendy scoffs playfully “well it’s not like kim namjoon would be at this party. you can just apologise to him for us or something!”

suddenly namjoon yanks you down so that you’re sitting on his leg

his arm slithers around your waist and your arm hangs loosely around his neck  

“wendy! so nice to see you again!” before you get the chance to say anything namjoon offers the three girls a charming smile

.,,.,.god his teeth are literally perfect

wendy’s brows furrow in confusion

“see you agai- wait, namjoon?” she gawks and you feel a twinge of anger when her eyes graze him from his head to his toes

lisa and jisoo exchange glances before murmuring things to each other

you catch a glimpse of lisa staring at namjoon as if he were a piece of mEat

the AUDACITY of these girls

she takes her bottom lip in between her teeth before her right eye drops in a wink

namjoon sighs

“you alright, lisa? is there something in your eye? you’re blinking weird. and jisoo - i see a widdle piece of lettuce in your teeth.”

the two girls’ faces flush bright red and you press your lips together to keep yourself from laughing

wendy shakes her head “you- wow, you clean up nice…”

“wish i could say the same for you.” he pouts and reaches out to pinch her cheek “you’re looking a little red… maybe the stick up your ass is causing tension?” he suggests and props his chin up on your shoulder

woW

breaking news: wendy has just been COMPleteLY obliterated

“wow… whatever.”

you remain silent as the three girls immediately whiP around and head in the other direction

“…do you think i should go and apologise?” namjoon suggests sheepishly and you turn to look at him

“if anything i think you should’ve taken it farther”

“and this is why i like u”

“i know” you raise your fist and namjoon laughs before bumping his fist against yours “now, c’mon - let’s get you a spicy blackberry margarita”

okay

so

about two hours have passed

you and joon have been hanging out at the bar mostly

jimin keeps testing new drinks on the two of you

both of you have an ample amount of alcohol flowing through your veins

and now you’re on the couch because the bar was getting too busy

and uh

you’ve always been a affectionate!drunk and namjoon is now realising this

“what’s gotten into you?” namjoon laughs after you rub your nose against his before pulling away to give him a lil kith

“just loving on my boyfrienD” you giggle and wrap his arm around your shoulder before nuzzling against him

in the background you hear the commotion of people getting excited because jungkook’s gone and volunteered himself for body shots

you very faintly see min yoongi and the random thought of that water girl job pops into your head

namjoon takes the red plastic cup away from you “mhm, i think that’s enough for you, missy”

“namjOoooOn” you immediately make grabby hands for your cup and namjoon holds it away from you so that you can’t reach it

you’re practically stretched out on his lap trying to grab it

you huff and roll your eyes “well noW what am i going to do to pass the time”

spoiler alert: u somehow persuade joon into a make-out session on the couch (it was pretty easy and u had good points “everyone’s over in the kitchen doing body shots and also u look super hot tonight”)

you pull away from namjoon and take your bottom lip in between your teeth “…you wanna get outta here?”

“you need to learn how to be more patient” namjoon laughs when you squirm your way in between him and his front door

it’s hard to unlock the door when you’re pressing kisses to his neck aNd tugging at his shirt at the same time

“you need to learn how to find your damn keyS” you groan and tug at his belt

the moment namjoon unlocks the door he pushes you in and the keys clatter to the ground

“now look who needs to learn how to be patient” you squeal when he lifts you up in one swift movement and wraps your legs around his waist

“it’s still you” namjoon murmurs against your mouth and you bite down on his lip in retaliation

he grins and squeezes the underside of your thigh causing you to giggle

“stoP i’m ticklish there” you murmur and namjoon raises a brow

you pull away and jab a finger into his chest “don’t even thiNK about it”

“i have no idea what you’re talking about” namjoon shrugs innocently as he begins the small trek to the bedroom

you don’t know how he hasn’t dropped you yet

like ya you knew he was strong but you didn’t know he was thiS strong

your fingers wrap around his bicep and you give a testing squeeze and you feel a ziP of heat down there when he flexes underneath your fingers

o fuk

you fall onto the mattress and it bounces under your weight and the next thing you know namjoon is hovering over you

“c’mere, you” namjoon breathes out and leans down to press his plump lips against yours

he grunts when you roll your hips against his and let out a whimper

frick

he wants to hear you make more noises for him  

“wait wait wait” you breathe out and pull away from joon

“what’s wrong?” namjoon sits up immediately

what did he do???? o god

he fucked up what did he DO

you reach over to the bedside table and namjoon’s like ??

namjoon blinks quickly as you slip his glasses onto his face

“as much as i liked bad boy namjoon i miss my bookworm”

“do you find visual impairment sexy?” namjoon adjusts his glasses and crinkles his nose

adoraBLE

you giggle and lean in to kiss him again

namjoon jumps when he feels your hands tugging at his belt and he immediately reaches down and wraps his fingers around your wrist

“what are you doing?” he breathes out and you move down and start pressing kisses to his neck

“taking your pants off”

well like

he knOWs what you’re doing he just

he doesn’t want to like,, pressure you into doing stuff because he rly likes u and u guys haven’t been together for thAt long

“we don’t have to-“

“why? are you a virgin?” you tease and namjoon scowls playfully as you continue to undo his belt “because i can be gentle with you!”

okay

he doesn’t like this game

“maybe we should get some chocolate covered strawberries and champagne?”

you continue your little jokes even as namjoon pushes you down gently on the bed

your head flops against the pillows

“you want me to light some candles?” you giggle when namjoon gives the side of your bum a smack after peeling your leggings off and tossing them aside

“oh yeah, i love candles. i especially love those vanilla scented ones.” namjoon tilts his head before peeling his shirt off and tossing it aside

you pause in your teasing for a second to admire joon’s sun-kissed tanned god-like skin

you want to take a bite out of his biceps

“maybe we can take a bubble bath or something? to ease your nerves” you coo and poke his nose when he slots himself in between your legs and leans down with his hands on either side of your head

“that does sound nice. i’m trembling with nerves, after all” namjoon sighs and buries his face into the crook of your neck and starts pressing kisses to your skin

“don’t worry - i’ll be gentle with you” you mutter and namjoon snorts before biting down on your shoulder playfully  

oh god

you’re on cloud nine right now

“oh, namjoon,” you gasp and dig your nails into the nape of his neck

your back arches against his chest when he thrusts into you again

your toes curl into the mattress

you’ve never had sex like this before

it’s a slow slow burn and you can already tell that this is the best orgasm you’re ever going to have

“you feel so good” namjoon moans lowly and his raspy voice “s-so warm n tight and you’re all mine- nngh- fuck,”

“oh my god namjoon”  you whimper breathily and your finger dig into his back

namjoon brushes his lips over yours in an almost kiss as he struggles to breathe because you feel so good around him

your vocabulary is very limited at the moment just because your mind is clouded with lust and you can’t focus on anything besides namjoon namjoon namjoon

“good?” namjoon leans down and presses his forehead against yours before his hand is slithering in between your legs

“good, s-so good,” you whine and arch your back against him

he keeps at a steady pace and continues to build up the pleasure and the tingling sensation and your toes curl into the mattress

“nam-namjoon- i-i’m-“ you choke over your words as you finally fall apart beneath him his eyes are hazy with pleasure and his pupils are so dilated that they’ve basically swallowed all colour in his eyes

“i’ve got you, you’re okay,” namjoon murmurs as he starts planting soft kisses along your jawline and then down your neck

the next thing you know you’re seeing stars and you’ve officially been reduced to a trembling whimpering mess

namjoon manages four and a half more thrusts before he’s letting out a groan as his orgasm slams into him suddenly

he gives you one last kiss before rolling off of you

you immediately cuddle up to his chest and the two of you share a moment of silence where you’re just processing what the heck just happened

“…not bad for a virgin, eh?” namjoon grins and you snort against his chest before whacking his arm gently

“c’mon, i think i promised you a bubble bath”

you love your handsome boyfriend

but those thick square frames of his makes him look like such a dork (which makes you love him even more)

sometimes he leaves them on the counter because he says wearing them too much gives him migraines

and you like to take advantage of the situation

“i’m namjoon and i can’t walk five steps without tripping over my feet!” you imitate namjoon and the boys burst out into laughter and you can’t help but feel a sense of pride not only because you know your impression is spot on but it’s also funny as hell

“i’m namjoon and i keep stale candies in my pocket like a grandpa”

another round of laughter and you’re feeling good

“hey wait - where are you guys going??? i haven’t even gotten to the good ones ye-“

you jump when you feel an arm slither around your waist and suddenly you’re being pulled into a hard chest

“i’m namjoon and you’re in big trouble when we get off from work today”

boyfriends usually find it sexy when their girlfriends wear an article of their clothing

and sure you’ve stolen a couple of joonie’s tees and hoodies and he thinks you look adorable drowning in his clothes

but nothing gets him going more than seeing you wear his glasses

especially when you wear them while you’re riding him  

you know that saying

gentleman on the streets but freak in the sheets

namjoon is the epitome of that saying

“nNgh- na- namjoon! ah, joon, fuck-“ namjoon’s glasses slide down until they’re on the tip of your nose and namjoon groans at the sight

his fingers dig into the flesh of your hips and he bucks his hips making you cry out in pleasure

“fuck, look at you, falling apart on my cock - oh, you like it when i talk to you like this? naughty little girl” he reaches up to grasp your chin and presses his lips against yours

in conclusion: nothing gets him going more than seeing you wear his glasses

namjoon’s pretty proud of the fact that he gave you a new appreciation for books

because you’re reading a new book like eveRy week which is great

but now he’s starting to think that you might like books more than you like him

and he’s not typically the kind of person who whines because he thinks whining is annoying and won’t get you anywhere

but you are turning him into a whiney person because of your new infatuation with books

“joon, stop,” you scowl and push him away when he rests his head on your shoulder and starts reading along with you

you like to read alone and he knows that but he likes being near you!!!!!!! and you’ve been silent for like an hour!!!!!! and he misses your voice!!!!! so SUE HIM

“but you’ve been reading for an hour and i’m bored” namjoon pouts and slumps down on the desk

you look down at him and your heart flutters at how cute he looks with his pillowy lips in a pout and his cheek squished against the desk

“well let me finish reading a couple more chapt-“

“a couple more?!” namjoon squawks and gets the attention of some people sitting near the counter

“-and then i’m all yours! it’s just getting to the good part. i don’t bother you when you’re working!”

“because when i’m working, you’re working too! and you actually interAct with me when we work” namjoon grumbles and sits up before grabbing a random book and flipping through it angrily

“well i’m taking a break”

“yEAh like your fifth break in two hours”

“watch the attitude mister”

“u watch youR attitude” namjoon huffs before wheeling back to his side of the counter

he turns and gives you his best angry-looking face and you snort before putting your book down because he looks like an angry puppy

you wheel over to him and rest your cheek on his shoulder and namjoon shakes you off

“have i not been giving you enough attention, hm?” you coo and link your arm with his before grabbing his hand

namjoon doesn’t respond and continues to click on the laptop but he doesn’t let go of your hand

it’s time to pull out

the biG GUNS

you immediately smoosh your lips against his cheek and assault him with kisses and namjoon can’t help but break out into a giggle

this is all he needs to stay happy!!! just kiSs him a couple times a hour and he won’t be whiney anymore

it’s not that hARD TO DO

he reaches up to cup your face and leans in to give you a soft peck before pointing to the book that you abandoned for him

“go and finish reading… bOokworm”

namjoon typically is very gentle when it comes to pretty much everything

when he’s rebinding books he does it with such delicacy and precision so that a page is never out of place

when he’s dusting shelves his wrist flicks so subtlety as to not knock any books over

when he holds your hand he intertwines your fingers with his and it makes you feel soft and cozy on the inside

but the namjoon that is currently in between your legs is not the same namjoon

and you love it

you gasp as namjoon’s fingers dig into the meat of your inner thighs to keep you planted firmly against the bed as you try to buck your hips

“joon, i c-can’t-“ you whimper and squirm underneath him

“yes you can, i know you can,” namjoon purrs and presses a kiss to your inner thigh before leaning down and burying his face in between your legs

he’s already made you cum twice with his fingers alone and now he wants to make you cum with his mouth

“nO namjoon please-“ you mewl and bury your fingers in his hair before yanking “please i need you so bad”

as much as namjoon would like to spend the rest of the day with his face buried in between your legs he knows you’re not going to last much longer so he’ll show some mercy

also he’s like buSting out of his pants so he needs to relieve himself too

#selfcare2k19

namjoon sighs before pulling away and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand

he can’t help but smirk at the sight of you flopped on his bed with your hair in a halo around your head and your cheeks are flushed and your lips are swollen and your eyes are glassy

all because of him

“only because you’ve been such a good girl”

“i- oh!”

namjoon flips you over onto your stomach in one quick motion “and you’re going to continue being a good girl for me, aren’t you?”

you hear the gentle tinkering of his belt and the shuffling of his pants and you bite down on your bottom lip in anticipation

you nod quickly and prop yourself up onto your forearms

namjoon chuckles when you squirm and wiggle your bum against him “patience, jagi”

“i’ve been patient” you murmur into the crook of your elbow and namjoon smacks the side of your bum in warning

your eyes flicker up when you see namjoon’s hand reach out to grip onto the headboard

his other hand is on your hip and you freeze when you feel him easing himself in slowly

he starts off slow to let you adjust

but the moment you give him the green light

all hell breaks loose

namjoon begins fucking into you at a merciless pace and you can’t help but mewl and moan underneath him

you feel like your body isn’t even attached to your minD right now because you’ve never felt pleasure like this before

namjoon stays silent apart from his heavy breathing and the occasional grunt and if that’s not the sexiest sound in the entire world you don’t know what the hell is

“tell me who’s making you feel this good” namjoon growls into your ear and gives you a particularly hard thrust

“y-you, you are, i-i, oh god, namjoon-!“ you gasp and bury your head in the pillows

“up, baby” he warns you and wraps his arm under your stomach as he pulls you and straightens you out

your arms are shaking underneath you as you hold yourself up and namjoon leans down to press a kiss to the back of your neck

and then he’s placing his palm on the small of your back and continuing to push himself into you as deep as he possibly can

your orgasm practically obliterates your body when it finally comes

spots dot your vision and your fingers dig into the mattress and namjoon’s name continues to slip past your lips over and over again

you spasm uncontrollably around namjoon and that triggers his own orgasm because hoLy fuck you’re so warm and tight and-

namjoon pulls out and you feel splatters on the swell of your ass and you hear him groaning lowly as he finally relieves himself

you have no idea what’s happening

all you hear is white noise

all you feel are tingles up and down your spine

“you did such a good job, baby” you weren’t even aware that namjoon left to go to the washroom and now he’s cleaning you up with a warm rag “such a good girl for me” he coos and presses a kiss to your shoulder before he flips you over gently so that you’re on your back

he leans down to give you a sweet peck before nudging his nose against yours

honestly.,,.,. get u a man who can do both

“y/n!”

you look up from your phone and namjoon’s holding up the cataloguing notebook with a raised brow

“purple glitter pen??? seriously??” he says in a verY unimpressed manner

your eyes flicker over to the sheet before you look back at your frustrated boyfriend

“…you said you didn’t want me to use pink so i used purple”

namjoon suppresses a groan and pinches the bridge of his nose

some things never change

[gg-astrology]

can u please do a leo rising decan?? thank u so much~~

Hey there~ ❤️ I’ll do my best ok!! ❤️ thank u for being so nice~❤️❤️ 

[Below Cut: Leo Rising + different decans 🦁]

Leo- Leo/Sun (0′-9′)

Youthful Energy!!! Just-- Innocent y know??

Pure Beings...Can be Very Naive Sometimes too

(If bad it can make them seem ignorant...but they can always Learn)

KIND!!!!

The Kindest person :(((( But also Doubtful of Themselves

Shy a lil, but has So Much Stubbornness Inside of Them

VITALITY!! But only like....with People They’re Comfy With

Will Not Listen to Anyone Else

Can Fake Confidence If They Have To 

Friendly Bubs

Will Cheer You up

The kind of Person To Stand Up For You when you’re unsure of urself

Use their Stubbornness for Goodness of Others...for Betterment instead of themselves...

Personable People

Not like....Impersonal, even tho they may Look Like it sometimes

Isn’t as Haughty/Arrogant as they seem--- pls trust them!

Likes...people who are Patient, Kind and Tolerant

Think of themselves as Dramatic and Judgey sometimes

Bubbas....You’re Ok ❤️ Cheer Up!! ❤️

Sensitive and Sensual

Does Not Bode Well With Criticism :((((

Mayhaps can Sometimes Like Luxuriating/Being Lazy too Much

Leo- Sagittarius/Jupiter (10′-19′)

Loves Learning!!! Generous Fools!!!!

Kinda Preachy sometimes...Will Think They know Everything

Again....Sensitive to Criticism but in this case, it’s Them Being Challenged

Will Take it Personally like...Their Opinions/Knowledge is Part of Their Integral Personality too

Optimistic tho....Will Generally Also Like Charity work/Just Helping Someone out on the Street

Is Personally Popular but like....Doesn’t Care That Much

Has to have Alone Time to just--- Absorb Books/Materials/Their Own Interests

A Lil More Free-Spirited Than most Leos!!!! Spirtzy and A Lil More-- Open!!

Deep Thinkers...

Faithful To a Fault 

I think this is?? More of the ‘Courageous/Noble’ Archetype People Think of When They Say Leo???

Still....Sag gives them a Versatility and Kinda like ‘Dont Care’ about their Reputation Vibe

They’ll Care about the Things They Manifest but like...

General ‘Category’ or ‘Type-casting’ them Won’t Work 

Too Independent For That 

More Offended Than Leo-Leo-- the Type to Gasp Dramatically and Clutch their Jewels

Lightens the Mood/Atmosphere-- Jokes Around Alot 

Leo-Aries/Mars (20′-29′)

Ambitious??? But more Like They’re Self-Frustrated

Wanna Do Stuff, Do Things For Themselves/Manifest Things

So Sometimes its like....Being Too Lazy Feels Bad For Them Physically

Gotta Do Stuff!!! Go Play Pokemon Go!!! Walk Around!!! Go To Parks!!

Get Frustrated With Being Pushed/People Sometimes Like

Why Can’t You Handle Your Own Mess????

They Step Up To Be Leaders Bc They Can’t Stand Messiness/Lack of initiation/passiveness

See?? Motivated by Self-Frustartion

N E WAYS, 

Sometimes....they can be Diabolical

As in Drama + Mischievous To a Capitol

They Literally Embody Dramaticism

Will Not Ever Let You Forget That

Will Let you Know They Are The Best 

Even When They Themselves gets shy sometimes.....

But Mostly Yes. It is True.

They are Stable and Wants Stability In the Future

So That They Can Afford y know....Being Lazy Later and Doing What they Want Happily

Likes hearing about People’s Lives...Not Just for Drama just...Genuine Interest and an Active Listener

[mistiedwagonfyre]

M(erry) Monday: Just Some Get to Know You Stuff...

So I got these from moonysmind so I should probably @ them... 

@moonysmind-blog

Ok, let's get this party started! 

1. Do you prefer writing with black or blue pen?

Blue if I'm writing something, black if I'm outlining a paper. But overall, black pens are my go-to just because I have more of them. I seriously need to stock up on blue pens... Also, who uses a red pen for anything other than corrections just because that's the way they've been taught? 

2. Would you prefer to live in the country or the city?

The Country. Or somewhere in the middle. I just feel like I'd be able to manage less people over more people and get to know them more personally. And, let's be honest, the country has gorgeous skies and sprawling fields and meadows. And it feels like you could take a deep breath and just absorb the atmosphere. 

3. If you could learn a new skill, what would it be?

Balance. It would help in everything because yours truly is a ball of clumsy fluff.

4. Do you drink your tea or coffee with sugar?

Heh, I drink hot chocolate with marshmallows so...

5. What was your favourite book as a child?

Anything I could get my hands on. I. Love. Books. My favorite series as a kindergartener was the Magic Tree House tho.

6. Do you prefer baths or showers?

Depends on my mood. Baths are for when I've got tons of time to just relax  and get my mind off things and showers remind me of rain and I love them too. I take showers more often but that doesn't mean anything.

7. If you could be a mythical creature, which would you choose?

This is a hard one cuz I love all things mystical and magical... 

My immediate thought was a dragon but they get killed a lot in the myths and they're almost always stuck guarding something. Then I was like, ok then. What about a phoenix? So ya, I'd be a phoenix. Don't get me wrong, I'd totally go with all the mythical creatures and just cycle through them all, just if I had to choose just one it'd be a phoenix. Maybe, since I'd technically live forever, I could meet every single mythical creature ever. That'd be pwetty cool...

8. Do you prefer reading paper or electronic books?

Paper. It's what I've grown up with. I know, classy me. Also, there is nothing quite like the smell of a new book. Just sayin'.

9. What is your favourite item of clothing?

Punny t-shirts. All I'm gonna say.

10. Do you like your name? Would you ever change it?

Yes. If I had to change it, I'd love to be Reyna or Luna. Otherwise, I'm keeping it.

11. Who is a mentor to you?

Mostly myself. I taught myself to draw, anyhow. If not me, my mom or my newest art teacher or my neighbor. 

12. Would you ever want to be famous? If so, what for?

Yes and no. I want to inspire people (whether with art or my quirky personality) but don't want the pressure that popularity and fame brings. 

13. Are you a restless sleeper? 

If being a night owl counts as restless, then yes. If being a deep sleeper when I am actually asleep doesn't, then no.

14. Do you consider yourself a romantic?

Considering I like guys who are chivalrous and funny... yes?

15. Which element best represents you?

Water. I'm chill until all my suppressed emotions rush out. You can't hold back the ocean forever. And you can't prevent the inevitable: Me being weird. Just ask my sister, she thinks I'm insane (which is probably accurate). Also, I may seem shallow on the surface, but I can actually be very deep sometimes. I could go on and on about my relationship with water, but that's a tale for another time.

16. Who do you want to be closer to?

Everyone. I love strengthening relationships with people. It makes the group stronger as a whole.

17. Do you miss someone at the moment?

Always.

18. Tell us about an early childhood memory.

I'd love too, but then storyteller Mistie will appear and this list will become infinitely longer. You'll have to ask me in my questions tab if you really want to hear one. 

19. What is the strangest thing you have eaten?

Can't decide which is weirder: Watermelon with taco seasoning or raw onion with mustard... Both are equally delicious in the summertime at a BBQ.

20. What can you see outside your bedroom window?

A ladder, some rocks, and a dead vole. My old room had a much better view... 

21. What are you most thankful for?

My Savior

22. Do you like spicy food?

Not particularly, no. 

23. Have you ever met someone famous?

Alex Boyé. He went to a really unsanitary restaurant before he came to our house one time and puked all over our newly waxed floors. I feel bad for him. Everyone but him knew not to eat at that runofthemill A&W on the way up. He still put on a mini concert for us tho and that was pretty considerate of him, because he did it even though he can't have felt like doing it.

24. Do you keep a diary or journal?

Yup. I've got entries from back in kindergarten, amazingly. Granted, back then I wrote in pictures.

25. Do you prefer to use pen or pencil?

Pencil. I'm human, I make mistakes.

26. What is your star sign?

Well, I was a Pisces. But then they discovered that there are more stars in the sky, just like there are more fishes in the sea, and just bunched a bunch of Pisces together so now I'm Aquarius. I'm still a Pisces at heart tho.

27. Do you like your cereal crunchy or soggy?

Crunchy. Better texture. Soggy cereal is oatmeal in my mind and if you want oatmeal, you actually make oatmeal, not let your cereal sit out for who knows how long. 

28. What would you want your legacy to be?

Legacy is a tricky thing. You've gotta know what people are gonna think of you down the line. I want mine to be simple: she wasn't afraid of who she was and what others would think of that. She was herself, and that's all that matters. I feel like that's the best legacy I could have for the future generations who will grow up in a world of trial and tribulation.

29. Do you like reading? What was the last thing you read?

ABSOLUTELY! I just finished Lodestar from Keeper of the Lost Cities. I shoulda read these books years ago but they're still fan-freaking-tastic! 

30. How do you show someone you love them?

I guess my love language is acts of service or whatever. So I'd probably serve them and do tons of sweet things for them. 

31. Do you like ice in your drinks?

No, it makes it all watery. Blegh.

32. What are you afraid of?

Lots of things. I just only realize when they come along and forget what they are afterwards. Sure, it may seem nice, but it makes the terror of coming into contact with them once more infinitely more terrorizing. But bugs are extremely horrifying. And so are arachnids.

33. What is your favourite scent?

Rain with freshly mowed grass and newly printed books at a campfire with Smores by the seashore. No one will ever be able to create this magnificent scent. 

34. Do you address older people by their first or last name?

Depends on how close we are.

35. If money was not a factor, how would you live your life?

Does this mean that everything is free? Well I'm gonna stockpile food and stuff and then ship them off to 3rd world countries. I'd try to save as many lives as possible. Or I could go there in person to deliver said goods... Yup. I've decided that that's what I'm gonna do!

36. Do you prefer swimming in pools or in the ocean?

Pools have a veil of safety but the ocean is much more beautiful and alive. Also, the smell of chlorine is gross. And the taste. Blegh.

37. What would you do if you found $50 on the ground?

If it looks old and worn and dirty like it's been there a while, imma take it. Chances are whoever lost it has been long gone so I can actually take that $50 w/o feeling guilty. Otherwise I'd leave it there.

38. Have you ever seen a shooting star? Did you make a wish?

Heh, I used to wish on airplanes, satellites, and planets because I thought they were 'special stars'.

39. What is one thing you would want to teach your children?

To be kind, even when it is inconvenient. I don't know how many times someone has held the door open for me even when it seemed much more convenient for them to just go inside where it is warm and just let me open the stupid door on my own. 

Maybe I'd teach them that even the smallest acts can have the biggest impact. One of the two. Probably both.

40. If you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it?

Heh, you're talkin' to the girl who doesn't want her ears pierced. No way in heck am I getting a tattoo.

41. What can you hear right now?

Music and the sound of my thoughts.

42. Where do you feel the safest?

In a book.

43. What is one thing you want to overcome/conquer?

Darkness and fear.

44. If you could travel back to any era, which would you choose?

The one with Michelangelo, Leonardo, and all those other guys that the ninja turtles were named after.

45. What is your most used emoji?

It's not even an emoji. It is literally XD. Either that or (^^) 

46. What is your favourite season? Why?

Torn between winter (snow), spring (life coming into bloom), and fall (all the pwetty colors).

47. How would you spend your ideal day?

On a window seat during a thunderstorm either sketching or reading a book all wrapped up in a blanket. Preferably with a cat. Sipping warm apple cider or hot chocolate with marshmallows.

48. Describe yourself using one word.

Me.

49. What do you regret the most?

Not realizing certain things sooner.

50. Invent your own word. What does it mean?

Crushyblushy (adj. n.)

The general mannerisms an individual enacts around people that they like (specifically in crush and/or love situations).

syn: awkward, quirky, shy, blushy

ant: confident, flirty, aplomb, able

[kidmachinate]

Making Peace With a Part of Me

My therapist is a sweet lady. She tells me things I know but won’t acknowledge fully. There’s this part of me that might as well be its own separate person, that I sometimes see in the mirror instead of the person I know I can be and mostly show to others. I can take a defeatist attitude. On good days, I just joke around how my memory just doesn’t work. Except it isn’t a joke. I genuinely in games or otherwise can’t remember how I got from point A to point B more often than I’d like to admit. Having it together in life doesn’t mean I’m not without feelings. Sadness. Despair. Depression and anxiety. They suck. The “Part of Me” that I’ve learned to work with. My “Badeline” persona of sorts.

Unforeseen circumstances have taken place and my sessions may have to be put on hold. This doesn’t mean I can’t reflect on what I’ve learned. How far I’ve come. How it is very much okay to be not okay. What’s not okay are the eyes that look over us all and tell us things must be a certain way or no way at all. It’s a closed minded view of things and helps no one. It is highly insensitive as so much more than I even realized, isn’t quite as black and white as we’d like to believe. I want to address a few things and this will likely come out as crude as possible at times, for the sake of both transparency, and perhaps make some of the misunderstood out there more comfortable.

My faith in humanity is...questionable. Lots of moments I shake my head at but I try to give people the benefit of the doubt first. Respect isn’t “earned”, it should be granted from the start. Expect the good from one...until they prove otherwise...and this is where I slip fast. I’ve given very little leverage here at times with others, which is good for the ones who seek not to help themselves. Too much leverage however gets you into trouble. It led to tragic moments I’ve referenced on here before but that’s in the past. We need to be compassionate because it’s one thing to just get shit done. I’m all for that. Not always easy though. America likes to avoid mental health because it’s scary or people are ashamed. Perhaps not just America but even with people more open about all this, it is still a joke to many. We should be more focused on strengthening mental health education than blaming video games. Seeing the good in people is both a blessing and a curse and I’m trying not to buy too much into the negative side of that. In becoming more self-aware however, I’m trusting my gut more. Ignoring what is true to you is the way to slowly start losing your mind. It’s not a place I’m going back to.

I’m good at avoiding people it seems, but it isn't something I always want to do. What if I say the wrong thing? What if I look like crap? What if I get judged for what I wear? What if I say the one wrong thing that ruins a great friendship or relationship? Should I REALLY be that concerned to begin with? Probably not. This is me however. While I stay away from others, in part lately, this is for legitimate self-care purposes. Us introverts need to recharge and all that. However...while I may seem at times like I kinda hate people, I do LOVE connecting people. Community efforts. Getting people chatting about stuff that matters or that I like, even if I don’t fully understand it. I’ve had my thoughts of being a therapist of sorts but I dunno...think it might break me. I can bring help/hope to people in my current ways but not on that kind of scale. Absorbing emotions and such, better at a level where I can manage it and am not forced into it. Forced into it...hmm...

You know what really fucking sucks? Being forced to do literally anything. I can decide myself dammit. Except for when I can’t. That sucks. But I should be allowed to go through that process on my own. Not mocked when I don’t instantly give an answer. How about...if I don’t give an answer, just assume no? Silence is a response too. A powerful one at that, depending on situation. I get we are in a age of instant gratification but anything worthwhile in life requires work. Work which we all need to do to live. Work at times also however, does involve working on ourselves with or without the use of meds and/or a therapist/psychologist/psychiatrist. Depression and anxiety are one thing. Combining that with feeling mostly understood by many is another. If there’s a personality disorder involved however, things can get even more complex. Being curious about what makes people tick always has me looking for perhaps why someone acted a certain way. Now of course if they keep just being a jackass or selfish, you can introduce them to the book your foot wrote...or just tell em to fuck off. Me however...ever heard of the INFJ doorslam? People that have gotten it haven’t come back. No regrets.

You know what else sucks? Having to force yourself out of bed because you feel like a legit piece of shit. But hey...gotta work in the morning, right? The machine mentality kicks in...but then who are you if everything is just on autopilot. The machine mentality however puts me in gear to do all the stuff I’m used to. Being responsible. Adulting. I’m convinced the only reason it is “easy” (sort of) for me is because I’m used to doing much of this alone. Alone. That always sucks to realize, eh? But I’m consistently telling people they aren’t alone. I don’t want people to feel like I do at times, or other can and will do to themselves on a bad day. How can you help others if you can’t help yourself? Um...I just...do? The shit happens. Don’t ask me how tho. Depending on the day, I won’t be able to tell you.

The balance between being the light at the end of the tunnel and a defeatist attitude is a daily struggle. Depression sucks for me and it has gotten worse. Anxiety is not as big a deal but I’ve also found out what a panic attack is like multiple times this year, so there’s that. When it hits is hits. Just gotta be ready to roll with the punches. Music, gaming, and seeking mental health knowledge/help helps with that. Knowledge is power...unless it is clickbait or ACTUAL fake news. No one needs that crap. Social media...that can be crap. I took a break for a weekend. It was nice. Try it sometime. You’d be amazed at the results.

How can I put a voice out there when my own shit isn’t together? Maybe that’s the point. Maybe that is part of the vision to begin with. I’m still figuring it out. Many still are and just not admitting it. The second you think you know it all you’ve lost in life. That and I don’t want to talk to you. You and the horse your ego rode in on can go off a bridge.

One more thing on this digital pad. Love. The word gets tossed around too much to even determine what it means but it is also one of those things without question. I prefer the spiritual connections. The ones with more understanding and less explaining. When you do explain, it is understood. Judgment free zone. Funny from a INFJ, eh? It's possible dammit!

It's okay to not be okay. That's what we need to tell our bad selves without letting it consume us. Is that it? From from it...but I'm working on ways to express the good and bad in more positive manners. Until then, reach out if you need help. Always. Don't you dare go hollow.

[interrogatormentors]

Event Two: Straight Flush

CA: if thats howw shits gotta be i get it CA: i really do CA: just lettin you knoww youre gonna regret this. CA: and by the time you realize wwhat a fuckin mistake youvve made in pushin me awway CA: ill be far beyond your reach

-- caligulasAquarium [CA] has left the memo! --

By this point in Eridan Ampora’s life, he knew space as lonely and fickle. He knew that the gaps between stars yawned millennia, and trolls at the top clawed and stabbed each other in the back at every opportunity. As a graduate of the Fleet Academy, Eridan knew this very well. What he hadn’t been prepared for was all the fucking paperwork.

Eridan stared at the blinking cursor on the scheduling spreadsheet in front of him, but no matter how hard he crossed his eyes the numbers never started making sense. As a well-established Dreadnought Condescension team, the DC Reichenbach’s crew all possessed equally established habits and schedules. Needless to say they didn’t take too kindly to an uppity new Head Admin coming in and shuffling shit around.

Eridan leaned back in his chair, lifting his glasses to pinch the bridge of his nose. The ship had one of its usual hiccups then, the lights flaring as an energy shift took place. Wonderful. With his free hand Eridan fumbled for the intercom button. “Get back in the helm, Riesse.”

After a pause a light blinked on the callbox at Eridan’s side, indicating an incoming call. “Yo, it’s been a perigee. Use my name or I riot,” said Riesse.

“Oh, funny, I can’t see Shakes anywhere on your file Riesse.”

“C’mon.”

“No.”

“Errrridan.”

Eridan rested his head on his desk, staring at the floor as he tried to gather himself.

“Shakes. You’ve got a break from the helm tomorrow, we can’t keep usin’ antimatter engines like this. You know that the maintenance for it costs a fuckin’ fortune-”

“Mmmmyeah we can,” Riesse or Shakes or whatever the fuck that fucking brown’s name was. Eridan was tired of battling about it, but he still felt an obligation to protest. “I got shit to do with Bricks.”

“And the captain, and the Chief Intelligence Officer,” Eridan said. Further slouching caused his glasses to slip right off his nose onto the floor. “You can’t all take a break at the same time every week.”

“Yeah, we can,” said Shakes. “God, haven’t you ever heard of like, free time and social bonding? You should join us sometime. Bricks’ got a rad as hell campaign set up and Illhal said she might be transferring. We’ve got an open spot. Table’s big enough for one mooore. Loosen up, holy shit.”

Eridan hung up the call. “Uppity fuckin’ mudfucker,” he said, picking up his glasses from the floor. “Oh wow, let’s just stick a bulge in the captain, get free breaks just whenever.” 

Ever since the helming techs had come out with mobile helmsman upgrades, highbloods who had quadrants with psionic lowbloods were crawling all over it. Some lowblood sympathetic fleet captains and helming techs and docterrors had written essays about the benefits of this new technology, which boasted alleged benefits such as increased helmsman longevity and better synchronization to the ship’s systems. The technology actually meant that those lowbloods with highblood quadrants were guaranteed the ability to move if their quads got their own ship and the rank of fleet captain, and it also meant that said lowbloods came with a hefty pair of globes to match.

Eridan tried to assure himself that he shouldn’t have been surprised. The Reichenbach’s captain was a piece of work to say the least, and her matesprit was such a cocky bastard with no respect for his blood superiors. As blood equals, with Captain Nekara as his superior in age and rank, Eridan kept his mouth shut to humor her smug piece of shit matesprit who jittered with ridiculous amounts of excess psionic energy.

Eridan’s palmhusk started beeping then, letting him know about breaktime, and he cast a defeated look to the stark and empty crew schedule. Normally he’d just work through his break, considering he never had other obligations. This time, he tried something new.

[Welcome to Poker Palace Server 2022A, caligulasAquarium, apocalypticTreeswing, circuitryCloser, torpidAnnihilator! Please read the rules and have fun! Currently there are 40 viewers of this game.]

AT: aw (fuck) aw beans aw no AT: playing with (fucking) TA?????? CC: hhehhe get wrekt dood CA: wwhat CA: do you knoww each other AT: nah dude’s a (damn) bot or whatever and wins every (fucking) time AT: shoot i wanted to bet money on this match too CC: just bet on TA man CC: thhey’re like always online ur going to make a hHELLA profit AT: my pride tho CA: wwhat pride AT: DUDE :*C

Poker didn’t seem too labor intensive, especially when Eridan could theoretically still work on the schedule on the other monitor. As time progressed he instead found that the match he’d gotten roped into took all his focus after the user torpidAnnihilator wiped the floor with all of them as apocalypticTreeswing had warned. Users could theoretically stay for infinite matches, and so a rematch began.

TA won again.

And again.

Over and over TA called bluff after bluff, and unveiled hand after winning hand after intimidating everyone else, even as AT and CC left and were replaced by other users. Each user expressed dismay at seeing TA there, but something in Eridan had been awoken.

He needed to win. So he kept playing even as his break ended, eyes flicking from schedule to poker match as he continued to lose over and over. He could have fun and loosen up, totally. He just had to win first.

[Welcome to Poker Palace Server 3014C, caligulasAquarium, torpidAnnihilator, gentrificationAwaiting, corporealTone! Please read the rules and have fun! Currently there are 67 viewers of this game.]

CA: ready to lose fucker CA: you cant wwin forevver CT: ...what CA: do i look like im talkin to you GA: i mEan it’s an opEn chatroom, so GA: if you’rE talking to TA good luck haha, CA: ivve been goin at it for four perigees hes gotta lose sometime CT: ...lol GA: LOL, GA: i’vE bEEn playing for tEn swEEps!! GA: thEy don’t losE!  CA: wwell wwere gonna see about THAT noww wwont wwe CA: if youvve got a penchant for believvin anyone that isnt the empress can be infallible youre sadly fuckin mistaken CA: one wway or another im gonna fuckin provve it and then youll eat your fuckin wwords. chumps

TA said nothing as per usual, but this silence stopped bothering Eridan long ago. He had become used to the empty silence that filled the digital lobby during games. Every muscle in Eridan’s body tensed as time went on and he focused, watching everything unfold as he kept his cards close to his virtual chest. The match concluded as it usually did, with GA and CT folding and TA refusing to show their hand. After playing this long, however, Eridan had learned to take his chances. If they needed to, TA usually folded or called a bluff second. This time they’d held onto their cards.

CA: bluff you dont havve shit CT: ...we both got shit hands you know hes got a good one CA: still callin it

With the bluff called, TA’s hand flipped over to reveal a four, two fives of separate suits, and an eight. Not necessarily a bad hand, but not a good one. The entire world stopped and Eridan felt a funny lurch in his digestive sack. He lurched to his feet, staring at the screen for a good minute.

For so many perigees, Eridan had worked towards this very moment. Each second that he stood there taking slow, shaking breaths to comprehend what had just happened felt like an eternity of downright euphoria. He’d done it.

However the world, and more importantly the game, wouldn’t wait forever. He moved his shaky hands to type out the damning words.

CA: straight flush CA: i wwin

A silence followed, and Eridan felt so fucking giddy, like there were clouds below his feet. He hadn’t felt this good in perigees. The commenters who had been gossiping about the inevitable outcome of the match had lapsed into shock with the other players also at a loss. TA, as always, remained silent. Finally, GA and CT began to type, almost in unison.

GA: what CT: ...holy shit GA: arE you fucking serious no WAY you’rE cheating! CA: if this wwere anythin but an online servver i wwould be less insulted CA: i cant code my wway out of a wwet paper bag CT: ...still theres no way you couldve beaten him of all people CA: look a lot of this game is luck okay wwhat the fuck are you talkin about CA: havve you evven played poker before in your life TA: Huh. TA: Well, thII2 II2 a 2urprII2e. TA: ThII2 game wa2 quIIte refre2hIIng, thank you. CT: ...hhhhhhhooooh my god

The match closed itself then, leaving Eridan staring at his victory screen. Something about that quirk seemed familiar, but he shook the thought away. The one he’d known with that quirk had disappeared a sweep before Eridan himself had left the rebellion. He had to be dead by now. Friend requests started pinging on his poker profile as he sat there, viewers of the match itself enamored by the new champion. More than a few angry messages popped up, considering TA’s popularity in betting circles. Only one private message caught Eridan’s attention.

TA: Let me know IIf you would lIIke to play me agaIIn 2ometIIme. TA: II am very aware you have been 2talkIIng 2erver2 lookIIng for me and that would 2ave 2ome ha22le on your end II thIInk. TA: That was the mo2t fun II have had for a whIIle. TA: II may have two quIIt 2oon con2IIderIIng your mo2t deft humIIlIIatIIon, but fIIndIIng a new hobby II2 laborIIou2.

Eridan reread the messages at least five times to absorb just what the mysterious reigning champion of the poker ring was actually offering. There was an odd little flutter in his chest, something he’d thought he’d never feel again. Pride, and a well-earned, well deserved sense of pride at that. Acknowledgement by an ever-supreme master at a craft, even for something as little as poker, meant worlds to him. He couldn’t help the grin that crossed his face, still on a euphoric high  at the sudden turn of events.

CA: uh wwoww okay CA: look evveryone loses evventually unless youre hackin or wwhatevver CA: surprised no one else called you out TA: The thIIng about garnerIIng a reputatIIon IIn onlIIne communIItIIe2 II2 IIntimIIdatIIon and people fallIIng on your bulge in terror ju2t come2 wIIth the whole package. TA: And a2 you know, that II2 the name of the game. CA: i thought it wwas poker TA: What? TA: Oh, very funny. CA: oh my god you talk like a fuckin loser howw old are you TA: That II2 a very rude que2tIIon. TA: II wIIll 2ee you agaIIn, ErIIdan. All haIIl the Empre22. CA: all hail i guess

TA logged off then. Eridan continued to bask in his own victory before freezing, eyes scanning over the last few messages TA had sent.

That couldn’t be possible.

He took a moment, eyes fixed on that one sentence in the chatlog again before he flipped over to his personal profile. No, nothing there. He had made sure not to put any identifying information on his profile apart from his blood color code, which more than a few members did. His name wasn’t anywhere on the site.

Swallowing hard, Eridan closed the poker site down for now and opened this week’s schedule and maintenance logs. Only victory mattered, and he’d accomplished that. What could some random nobody on the internet do to him?

Maybe Shakes’ D&D session would be a little less nerve-wracking.

[dressedupkiss]

37 days

Until spring month!

January almost over, just got feb the shortest month to get thru and then it’s almost spring and then it’s warm!!!!!

And I will get my hair cut in March! For spring and new growth and warmth and sexiness and hotness and fun.

I’m gonna get my hair cut super cool and I can’t wait. It’s gonna look like this:

And I think it’s really gonna suit me.

Having bangs again, especially thick full ones like this will be very fun and sexy.

My hair will get very wavy and I’m gonna mess it up so much and it’s gonna look like a cool mullet kinda.

I can’t wait. I’ll wear cool t shirts and lose some weight from walking around when it’s warmer out. I’m excited to meet new people.

Everyone I’ve interacted with in the past ten years has been less than fun. Everyone is either neglectful or just plain rude. I haven’t had a real friend in ever it seems. I don’t have any good friends. I have a crappy mean friend.

I’m very alone but I’m with the universe and spirits who love me. I finally found that pic of a haircut that suits me a lot and I know I was waiting to find it. The spirits guided me to it.

Because my hair has been cut so awfully in the past but that was cuz I didn’t know what I wanted . Having this pic is so helpful and I can’t wait to have messy sexy hair again.

My hair now is so long and my bangs are grown out so far it just isn’t what I want. It doesn’t sit right. Too flat. Hopefully all the layers will fluffen up my hair and I will look super cute. I’m excited

Loving myself is a good hobby to have. I love myself a lot. I don’t like being used for my materials.

I will focus on dressing nice and in a month and a bit I will have money to pay for a haircut and in just a week and a bit I’ll be paying off my MasterCard completely!!!! I’m so excited!!!

I need Joel to pay me $150 for their stay here and then I will have enough to pay it all off at once. It’s at $736 and I have $500 saved up. Then when I get paid at the end of this month I’ll have enough to pay the remainder.

I’m so pumped to be debt free. It will be so nice to have nearly $500 to myself each month from March onwards and in April I’ll have gst an extra $160!! That’s $644 all to myself plus I’ll get bday money too like at least $100! So that makes $744! All to myself!!! In one month!!! Wow!

It will be so worth it to pay off my MasterCard! I can’t believe I’ll have all that extra money!

February will be short and I won’t have a lot but I’ll have sarcan to take in for around $40 and I’ll have over $300 for food and my dad will get me groceries too so it should be okay. I have a lot of meat and blanched garden veggies in the freezer too so I gotta eat that.

T will be worth it to be shorter in feb cuz it’ll be the laSt month I’m short! March will be a full $484 and that will feel good. Then April will be a mega blast. I’ll be able to go shopping so much. I’ll save so much. I should start saving for a car. Or something. I’ve never wanted to buy something too expensive. I don’t have a lot of desires for possessions. I like cool clothes tho.

And I need new shoes. I have some really nice leather converse shoes but I need some quicker to put on shoes with good arch support. I have some old red vans with good insoles but they’re worn out and I just need new ones like them cuz they’re super quick to put on. I have a lot of shoes but only those two and a pair of plain black sneakers have arch support.

I’m excited to be alive in the new warmth of the new year. I will meet so many cats and dogs and people and spend time with my friends and their dogs and have such a good time. I gotta try to eat healthy from now on and no more McDonald’s. I’m not gonna buy it. Last two times I ate fast food my friend bought it for me and I only ate one taco and one burger but I had someone else buy my mcondalds recently too and I had a burger and fries. Gotta stop. It’s not good for my tummy.

I made fried hamburger and rice and bell pepper, onion, celery with mushroom soup and spices mixed all together for dinner tonight and the next few days. It should last me 3 days at least. I haven’t been eating a ton recently. Just a healthy amount instead of overeating like I usually do. And I’m trying really hard to not eat past 8pm. Gotta have good dreams.

It’s Saturday night and on Monday I get my first injection of my new medication Abilify. I’ve been on 10mg pills the past over 2 weeks and my injection is 400mg. I read that is a very high dose and could be bad for me but I’ll just have to see how it responds to me.

I hope I don’t get super restless. I hope if it’s too much for me my doc will lessen the dose.

I wish I didn’t have to take meds forcibly. It feels very wrong and disrespectful.

I’ll have to fight the deathkills and live my life though. I’m not gonna work at all this year. Fuckajob.

I don’t like a lot of people. Sometimes I miss Laura a lot but I don’t like her either. She is rude and conceited and hurtful. She doesn’t care about my and tries to trigger my suicidal tendencies and doesn’t think about how i actually feel. She totally hurts me.

It sucks that I thought she was a blessing angel when she is a mean self absorbed douche. Oh wel there will be a true angel woman for me somewhere out there.

[dorkcresswxll]

i went...... hard y’all this is so extra and embarrassing but i spent like,, over an hour writing this down so ur all gonna see it u better.

Why did you choose to play the character that you do at Crimson Revolt?

im gonna be honest like………………………………. i picked dirk bc i wanted to play ezra miller lmao. I KNOW HOW SHALLOW THAT IS DONT LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT OKAY I CAN EXPLAIN!!!!!!!! alright so before i apped for crt the first time i was at…… a pretty low place confidence-wise bc i’d just left the first rpg i ever joined (also the first rp thing i ever did) and it was a pretty,,,, messy departure lmaoo i gotta admit i could’ve handled that better orz. BUT ANYWAY so i went looking through the ezra miller fc tag bc i’d just discovered this fabulous person and had vague ideas about a character that could fit the fc (dramatic, cheeky, a lil flamboyant) and was also thinking “i will never fall in love with a character the way i did my previous ones again” and more dramatic bullshit along those line bc like i said,,, bad time. obviously i didn’t find any active rpgs that had him in use so i checked crt bc i’d seen it around before and liked the look of it, so i sent the main an ask like “do you see ezra miller working for any of your open characters?” the admin at the time pointed me to barty crouch, peter pettigrew and dirk cresswell.

i just want to take a moment to digest that i could literally have played any of these three, cause all i had at the time was a vague idea of a character and a fc to match. i remember i spent days trying to decide between barty and dirk cause neither skeleton fit my vision perfectly and they both seemed aimed more towards an angry jock-type character (especially dirk his fc was miles teller which…. should give u a good idea of what the admin at the time had in mind for him) ( i mean the first skeleton. the one on the main now is one i rewrote after the main crashed back in june.) (just to clarify: the original skeleton had just as much potential to evolve to a complex and intriguing character as any other skeleton here at crt. i just had my vaguely dramatic ezra miller bby and i wanted it. lmao.) but i liked challenging set characterizations and bringing unique perspectives to contrast against any expectations the admin/s might have about a character. which is why i tend to go for skeleton rps, you get more freedom with those. eventually i decided on dirk bc i liked the sound of aversio and grey moralities appeal to me greatly. i spent a long time delving into the character’s backstory and personality and all those deep-seated insecurities and compelling contradictions that make dirk up to be the person he is now. by the time i submitted the app i was thoroughly in love with the character and haven’t stopped since. he’s my most developed and my most beloved character to play thus far.

Do you have a favorite holiday?

NOPE. as long as im surrounded by people i love and a lot of snacks im good.

Do you prefer coffee or tea? Perhaps neither, or both?

coffee. coffee coffee coffee.

What is your personality type?

INFP-T. the mediator. 86% introverted lmaooo.

What is your Hogwarts House?

ahhh. when i first read the books a few years ago i was like ‘iM A SLYTHERIN DONT TOUCH ME!!!!!’ but i…………literally have the subtlety of a bulldozing stampede of rhinos im sure y’all noticed. i took the pottermore test and had the glaring red n gold show up on my face and i shut the laptop down so fast like liES I BELIEVE NONE OF THIS. then i took a fan-made test that put me in ravenclaw and i was like…………….. ok i accept this compromise i can work with that. lmao im such a gryffindor tho don’t look at me im just *flops* pottermore was right….. i accept my place now i have stopped running from the truth orz.

What is your Zodiac Sign?

Taurus.

Three most recently watched on Netflix?

SURPRISE! i don’t have netflix. most recent stuff i watched tho are Stranger Things 2, IT (2017) and…. i can’t remember orz. but im obsessed with stranger things taLK TO ME ABOUT STEVE HARRINGTON PLS I LOVE HIM SO MUCH *SOBS*

Describe your ride-or-die friend.

don’t call me out like this…………………………………. i don’t make friends in real life people are difficult and i am awkward orz.

If you could have any superpower, what would you choose?

the ability to focus whenever i want at whatever i want for however long i want and actually manage to be productive with my time. what do u mean this is not a superpower i need it to be one.

Are you an early bird or a night owl?

i have no sleep schedule to speak of. sometimes i sleep at five am and wake up at eight am to get to my classes, then have a six hour nap when i get home and stay up until four am again. sometimes i go to bed on eight pm and wake up at four in the morning and still sleep through my classes, take a small four hour nap when im home and spend obligatory time with the fam for a couple hours lmao. it’s like im just sleeping or waking up either way im always a step removed from a zombie. there is. no reason for any of this i just do it.

What is your favorite color?

YELLOW. it’s so bright and sunny and iouwodc. i love it.

What is the last book you read? What is your favorite?

ahhhh i can’t remember my memory is failing me. which is sad cause i used to pick up a new novel every other day but i just can’t be bothered anymore ugh. i think my favorite was the whole PJO & HoO series’ – i haven’t read the last book yet tho, so i’ll start rereading all ten books when i get the chance.

Where would you rather be right now?

on a bed. sleeping. alone. with a lot of blankets. solitude appeals to me on such a deep level guys u don’t even know.

Have you ever watched the sunrise?

the ones i remember are three – once when i was a kid with my mom, bc i wouldn’t go to sleep and it was approaching sunrise and i rambled about wanting to see the sun come up so my mom was like………………… ‘*throws hands up* ok u lil monster u win’ and took me to the roof to watch the sunrise lol. it was glorious. and cold. bc winter. the second time was with my cousins who were sleeping over (for the first time in a loooong tiiiimmmeeee) and we decided to spend the night up on the roof bc why not. the last time was with my brother i think he was up there fixing something or the other and i was just there….. to be annoying lmao.

Do you listen to music when you write? If yes, what kind of music?

oh no i can’t. i need everything and everyone to be quiet or i can’t write a thing.

What’s the one thing you especially love about roleplaying your muse/s?

what do i love about playing dirk…… his impulsive and his bright attitude and his endless optimism. he has such an uplifting presence and a cheeky sort of charm that makes it impossible for people not to love him, that makes his worming into other people’s hearts so entirely predictable and entertaining to play out. he is a myriad of contradictions – the difference between what he thinks everyone deserves and what he thinks he deserves is appalling, and with time it becomes clear that when he says things like “everyone needs someone to lean on” or “everyone could use some support” he is not referring to himself as a part of this ‘everyone’, if even on a subconscious level, does not find himself worthy of such kindness. he is a character so full of love he is spilling and overflowing with it, his raw emotions and his turbulent nature one of the dearest parts of him to me. the thin line he walks between being kind and violent, loyal and unforgiving, genuine and secretive. all the little details that make him up are reason for me to love him as dearly as i do.

What’s your favorite type of weather?

cold, but not too cold, y’know? just enough to wear a jacket but not so much you spend the night under five covers and a thermometer lmaoo.

What’s your best RP experience?

crt. no contest. and im not just saying that cause i’ve been in a bunch of rpgs by now and they all either a) lack dedicated admins/members b) are cliquey and non-inclusive at all or b) fall into inactivity a meager month or two after opening. crt is one of a kind.

Who inspires you?

this is actually a tough question cause i never really stop to think about it?? i draw inspiration from everything around me and it’s kinda like…. im constantly absorbing stuff from the environment im in and it’s like i’m always half-thinking about writing at any given moment, if that makes sense?? dunno.

Spread some love: mention someone you’ve met that has influenced you or your writing in a positive way and explain how!

ahhh okay so. before i tried roleplaying i stumbled upon this rpg in the fandom tag over a year ago and it’s basically been the catalyst for my time in the rpc. i was looking through the character’s blogs and found someone playing peter and i was like……….. not fond of peter at the time tbh but this person’s writing was so fucking incredible i checked their blog daily, just to see how this thread or that thread would go. their take on a character i’d only held distaste for before was so compelling and complex i was drawn in all the way, i’d even come to love the character so much and was constantly disarmed by the smallest to the biggest details in that person’s characterization – at least the details i could pick up on, some i’m sure went way over my head at the time. some details i still remember vividly and they’ve helped me shape my first character and have influenced my writing thereafter. i learned a lot about the duality of a character’s mind and how to express inner conflict by observing that person’s writing. (yes i sent them a nerdy af message gushing about all that bc they hadda know man…. they hadda know.)