#i can't give up and i won't but goddamn i signed myself up for a marathon 😂

[hamadacare-xoxo]

just why did i agree to rewrite bh6

[mad3lyncline]

𝑩𝑼𝑺𝒀𝑯𝑬𝑨𝑫 𝑺𝑬𝑵𝑻𝑬𝑵𝑪𝑬 𝑺𝑻𝑨𝑹𝑻𝑬𝑹𝑺 – 𝑷𝑨𝑹𝑻 𝑻𝑾𝑶 . starters from the 2019 ep 'busyhead' by noah kahan . adjust pronouns as necessary !

𝒄𝒚𝒏𝒊𝒄

i'd change my name to find a space to get some rest .

i'd give my face to find a place to put my head .

this is who we are ; there's no glamour to it .

i cried at the rain but there's no way that i'm depressed .

if i think too hard i'm scared i might lose it .

the hollywood sign don't catch my eye much anymore .

leave it to time to make me feel i'm getting old .

give me the open mind that i had before .

i miss the days when one was better than the last .

i miss the taste of growing pains i knew would pass .

i miss those thoughts and that fear of losing .

i don't know why i see no light in anything .

leave it to life to turn my strengths back into weaknesses .

𝒔𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒎𝒆

i shut you out just out of habit , i don't know .

i spent five months out here treading water .

now i wonder why you bothered .

why do you keep reaching for my hand ?

do you see something i can't ?

why do you try to save me ?

this fate is well deserved .

i only make things worse .

have i served my sentence ? learned my lesson ?

am i still so selfish ?

do you see my misdirections ?

𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒌

she hates to say goodbye , so she only says goodnight .

she sleeps with one eye closed so she can tell if she's alone .

she's the sunset in the west .

she is sleep when i need rest .

for you , i would never sink again .

i have grown to tell myself a lie and i'll sink .

time slows to let me jog along .

high hopes won't last me very long .

she's the path on which i tread .

she's the shiver up my neck .

she's the blood rush to my head .

𝒕𝒊𝒅𝒂𝒍

you knew me in my spiral .

sometimes i get this feeling i've been breathing someone else's air .

two thousand miles away from home under that sky , i tried to make my peace with fear .

so i guess i'll build a boat and live alone .

i'll teach myself to swim and live in my head .

if i never reach the land or live again , i'll be just fine .

i fell into a pattern where nothing would matter if i didn't care .

it wears me out , all the demons underneath the tide .

i sink like stone beneath the weight of all these dreams of mine .

you can't save someone too far to find .

it's stormy in the sea tonight .

𝒄𝒂𝒓𝒍𝒐'𝒔 𝒔����𝒏𝒈

do you remember drinking in the parking lot by the trailhead ?

i see you for a moment , then the morning comes and it's wasted .

we listened to 'only the good die young' and we laughed about its statement .

we walked in the same direction but we both got lost .

we both got lost in your angst and my impatience .

did you find what you were looking for ? some escape from your skin ?

you know , that place you were dreaming of where all light comes in .

i keep burning my bridges down just to keep you alive .

do you remember looking from the fire tower at the sunset ?

i guess i just got busy ; only saw you every other weekend .

i just moved to the city . hope the noise drowns out the regret .

they tell me grief is just love letting go .

they say they don't know who i am anymore .

i just have never shown anger before .

still haven't found what i'm looking for .

i'll keep growing my hair out long just to cover my eyes .

i'll keep playing that goddamn song if it keeps you alive .

[pearldog30]

David (hesh) Walker Head Cannon.

Alright, so. this was what y'all voted for that I do Hesh. So here's our bb boy hesh! Hope you all enjoy the head cannon on our boy 🖤

(also this hc is before he lost everybody. Because I genuinely can't bring myself to do that hc right now...)

Other works 👉 Master list

Warnings| a little tiny mention of PTSD.

I'm sorry but I can just imagine this man singing this song to you on your wedding day/anniversary 😭 (Love song say You won't let go by James Arthur) hesh can low key sing. no one can convince me otherwise!

I feel like hesh has only had 2 or 3 short-term girlfriends in the past, and each time he legit thought they were going to spend the rest of their life together, but they just ended up cheating on him or using him. and so when he met you he was very standoffish, and did not trust you for a while. because he thought you were like the others, so when you showed him that you only wanted HIM! When I tell you this man fell head over heels for you... It's like as if someone put the world in his hands. Because well.... in his eyes, they really did.

the very first person he introduced you to when you guys got together was Riley. This man was so nervous to introduce you to his goddamn dog, it was adorable. and when Riley liked you it was a weight lifted off his shoulders.

Since hesh's family is very VERY! important to him, it's important for them to like you too. So when he realized that you were the only one for him. he practically ran to his dad's house with you In his arms to introduce you to anybody. And when his dad/brother actually ended up liking you a lot. it just made him so madly in love with you.

out of all the guys when he's not working. he is the most sweetest, and genuine person ever! Which surprises a lot of people.

Since he grew up in San Diego he obviously is a big surfer. so if you're into surfing as well that is major bonus points for you. but if you're not, don't worry. he'll teach you, he'll definitely try to show you some tricks. And OHHH BOY! if Logan comes along, you might as well forget learning. cuz it's going to be a competition between those 2 on who can do better.

Slow dances with you in the kitchen. (although It's more like holding you in his arms and just standing there)

Since it's pretty obvious that hesh is a major Hot Head. (I mean just look at all the times he's blown up at everybody) so before he met you, he had quite the temper. And after y'all have been together for a while. you've noticed how much he's calmed down, like his temper is nowhere near as bad. To the point that even Merrick has said something about it "oh damn it looks like we're losing our boy. what has that woman done to you?" Merrick jokingly says, but he low-key grateful he's not as hot-headed anymore.

Now when it comes to day to day life he's a little... dumb. Like he's always calling his dad asking him if the difference between laundry detergent is the reason why his work-clothes have holes in them/asking if he should go to the emergency room because he's SOMEHOW sliced his leg open. so when you came into the picture just know you made Elias's blood pressure go down so much. you saved him from a heart attack.

I'm sorry but this MAN has a major sweet tooth. especially on the nights he can't sleep, so you'll often find him in the kitchen eating candy or some sugary shit. and then he complain on why he doesn't have abs later that week.

Hesh is a low-key hopeless romantic. Although he sucks ass at being romantic, but he tries his hardest. give our boy a break!

We know that hesh has PTSD but he certainly doesn't let it show. He's probably one of the very few guys that has it somewhat under control. But that doesn't mean he doesn't get the occasional panic attacks/nightmares. And when he does he usually goes very quiet, which is unlike him. That's when you know he's having a rough time, and your sign to step back and let him come to you when he's ready.

Now that doesn't mean he doesn't want your help, it's just 1 time in a past when you were trying to calm him down during one of his panic attacks, he absolutely snapped at you, and went off, It was the most angriest you've ever seen him. ever since then he keeps his distance when he is going through something like that, because he doesn't want to take it out on you. And hurt you. He still really hasn't forgiven himself from the last time. so he tries his best to protect you from it.

Secretly has a candy stash in his barracks room when he's deployed.

And lastly he CANNOT! be trusted to be in the kitchen when you're cooking..... By the time whatever you're making is done, half of it's already gone. You know those 5-year-olds that get excited when you have like brownie batter or something like that. yeah that's him, and he manages to get it all over his face in the process. The man is somehow a 5-year-old in a 27 year old body. you often question how Elias made it all these years.

Love language. Quality time, and words of affirmation. (I'm sorry but you cannot tell me this man's knees go WEAK when you tell him you're proud of him.)

And that's going to be the end for this thank y'all so much for voting! I hope you enjoyed our chaotic, angry boy. As always I hope you have a good day/night wherever you are. reblogs, comments always appreciated 🖤

Tags| @macravishedbymactavish @alexkellersleg @walker33961 and if you would like to be added just message me or comment.

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for telling them

(OCS, followup to AITA FOR WANTING ULTIMATE POWER (I think that was the name?), 💎☠️ for ID)

I (forgot, 26? M) have uh, have been locked in this-this room for, uh, maybe years now? They won't tell me what year it is. I don't, uh, I don't even remember what year it was when they took me! Uh, but, anyways, they took me because I have the, the, uh, the ability to communicate with this, uh, eldritch? Ancient entity that appears as a, a, uh, big-ass crystal- that damn crystal, no, no, shut up shut up, I'm trying to- stupid fucking rock- uh, but, but it broke a while back, million pieces and- and oh god... not again, please...

But! But But But! My super sketchy, uh, university, they wanted to-to-to put it back together, harness the power and all. I-we didn't know it was sentient when they made us sign those-those-those, those GODDAMN FUCKING BULLSHIT CONTRACTS- ugh, hem, uh. My fiance, G (? I think he's dead. No, he can't be. Please don't let him be dead, God, please. M), is, uh, a, was a law major, he told me after we met that the contract and circumstances were barely, uh, probably illegal. Yeah, people, uh, di- oh God, they're all dead, it's all my fault, they- they- we shouldn't have signed. I lived longest, I had most un- unprotected contact with, with, with... with ıt.

It started talking, to me. Told me where the rest of it was. Told me to tell the university so it could be pieced back together. Told me it would make me powerful, make my parents proud of me for once, make my family whole, make my relationships work, make my grades go up, make my dreams come true. Make it all go away. ALL.

I, I didn't want to end the world. That, that sounds like a bad idea, right? So I tried keeping it, uh, to my- myself. Dean found out. Had me locked down here. I, I think I was already losing it then, already lost, from the dreams and the visions and the constant whispers. She locked- locked me down here, started aski- aski-aski- questions, took my food, my mess, my sleep, I can't sleep, I can't sleep, I can't... my, my old professor, H (old M), he tries to be nicer, it's a lie, he wants power, they all want power and they're all so stupid, this is power in the way the nuclear bomb is power, it's destruction. He gave me a rat corpse to reanimate. Off topic, sorry.

I, I, I didn't want to end the world before, but i... I can't... she hits and it speaks and he feeds me if I give the answers, and I'm dead anyways, we're all dead, Gre- G is dead, no, yes, I don't know, it- it says I am and that I'm living, dead, re-real proof of, of how rotten this world is, how unsaveable. I told them everything. They wouldn't listen when I told them the consequences. They're the experts, after all, I'm just THE ONLY FUCKING PERSON ON THE PLANET WHO CAN TALK TO THE DAMN THING.

I guess this is less me, uh, asking if I'm an asshole. I just triggered the apocalypse, doesn't get any more dickish than that. More of, uh, of me warning you guys that the end is nigh and all. Extinction level, like dinosaurs. If anyone gets this, please come- come find me, I can't stay down here forever, please, please, please-

[derelictheretic]

Tagged by @socially-awkward-skeleton, @clicheantagonist and @baldurrs (Thank you!!) to list 5-10 songs that describe or relate to my fav otp/personal ship(s) ! Stuck to my fc5 ones for this <3

Tagging: @viktor-sinclaire @trashcatsnark @bluemojave @ishwaris @unholymilf @roofgeese @sukoshimikan @detectivelokis @strangefable @necro-hamster @deputyash @rejected-beater @jollybone @eur0paa-2 @i-am-the-balancing-point

I just went with 5 songs for each ship, I've been obsessed with Sleep Token recently so they have snuck into a few playlists lmao

Spotify

Clueless by Ellie Williams

Do you think she has seen i'm captivated by her speech?

Or is she clueless?

The Only Exception by Paramore

And up until now I had sworn to myself

That I'm content with lonlieness

I Love you but you make me cry by Elthia

You try to protect yourself

So I have to rip through you

I Wish I never Met You by Babygirl

I wish I knew forever would end so soon

I wish I never kissed you in my living room

Enemies by Lauv

Oh tell me, why did we throw away the love we had?

And tell me why do, why do we love to make it hurt so bad?

Spotify

River by Bishop Riggs

Shut your mouth, baby, stand and deliver

Holy hands, will they make me a sinner?

Obsessed With You by The Orion Experience

Your love is better than cocaine

I need you more than oxeygyn

Room For Two by Will Knox

If there is a heaven

I hope I go to hell with you

John My Beloved by Sufjan Stevens

I am a man with a heart that offends

With its lonely and greedy demands

Granite by Sleep Token

I was more than just a body in your passenger seat

And you were more than somebody I was destined to meet

Spotify

I love you baby by Surf Mesa, Emilee

I love you baby, and if it's quite alright

I need you baby, to warm these lonely nights

Dance Alone by Talya Parx

Left hand up, right hand on the bible

You walked in, I was dead on arrival

Angel of small death and the Codeine scene by Hozier

Feeling more human and hooked on her flesh

I lay my heart down with the rest at her feet

My Attic by P!nk

I will give you all my secrets

If you promise you can brave my attic

Lovefool by The Cardigans

Say that you love me

Fool me, fool me

Spotify

It Will Come Back by Hozier

Jesus Christ, don't be kind to it

Honey, don't feed it, I will come back

Once Upon a Dream by Lana Del Ray

And I know it's true, vision are seldom what they seem

But if I know you, I know what you'll do

Alkaline by Sleep Token

And she's changing me

It's too late for me now, I am altered

Deity by Valeree

I'll be your deity, fall to your knees

Oh, honey, pray to me between the sheets

Religion by ZAND

My angel's most polite

When I am on my knees

Spotify

Hit Me With a Kiss by Solo

And when he hit me with his kiss

I tasted whiskey on my lips

Persia by Until The Ribbon Breaks

If I can't be your prince

Then I like to whisper, I'd like to leave you in my fingerprints

Love Is A Weapon by Letdown.

It's just a masochistic love

I've got the push under your shove

I Go Hungry by Mother Mother

When I go hungry I go nail and tooth

When I go hungry, I go hungry, I go hungry

Puppy Pound by Jazmin Bean

Normally i'm no stray, you won't find me in the lost and found

So why'd you make me feel like I am in the goddamn puppy pound?

Spotify

Power by Isak Danielson

When you move, you make my oceans move too

If I hear my name I will run your way

I'll Keep You Safe by Sleeping At Last

Our mistakes, they were bound to be made

But I promise you I'll keep you safe

Hallelujah by Jeff Buckley

And Love is not a victory march

It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah

The Summoning by Sleep Token

Oh, and my love

Did I mistake you as a sign from God

His Hands by Blegh

But you know I was still down on my knees

Like it was a religion

[writer-of-various]

Rumors

There are many rumors about Captain Turner. One sticks out among the rest because it shows that there are only a few things in the world that can turn her cold heart.

There are rumors that speculate around Captain Nancy Turner, like there are among many great leaders during World War II. Many rumors that come from different sources, many rumors that sound exasperated but upon a good night of drinking, the legend confirms them herself, much to the shock of her men. They can't blame her though, because she has lost so much. She lost men, she lost her brother, she almost lost a beloved soldier. The experiences of war hardened Nancy more than when she first signed up, her emotions locked up in a tower that she wants to toss the key to, but knows it's unwise. A good leader needs emotions, to understand their subordinates. Nancy isn't completely cold and stern, despite what the rumors say.

Perhaps one rumor was during the end stages of the Pacific Theater, where the 7th Infantry Platoon fought in the Battle of Okinawa alongside other units and the Marines. It was the toughest battle, the one that would either pass or block the US from continuing Pacific operations. It was the next turning point in the war and after advancing forward after being bombarded by the Japanese, they managed to set up a communication center and captured at least 20 POWs. Half of them had made it their goal to kill the medic of 1st Platoon, Robert Zussman. Nancy didn't like that, and as the POWs stood in front of a young soldier carrying a flamethrower, Nancy gave a command.

"Burn those fuckers," she grunted out and the soldier chuckled, but before anything can happen, Zussman grabbed Nancy and gave her a pleading look.

"Don't do this, Nance" He whispers, and the Captain gives him a look, before turning her gaze back to the POWs. She gestures for the soldier to stand down before looking back at Zussman and standing taller.

"Why not? They tried killing you, or hell, tried capturing you to kill you." Her words are sharp, showing her anger and the soldiers lingering nearby flinch back, afraid of her wrath. It's her reputation, it's the rumors. While respected, she was feared.

"Because they are doing what they were told. Captain, let them live. I'm not too hurt, I'm okay." His eyes were puppy like, too young and naive and hopeful. It struck something in Nancy, who sighs and nods.

"Tie their hands up, take them to the platoon commander. Not a single scratch or you'll regret pissing me off." She barks out and the soldier quickly nods and salutes her.

"Yes ma'am!" She watches as the POWs are marched away and turns to Zussman, tilting her head to the side.

"Follow me," she starts walking off to the cliff side, grabbing her cigarette pouch out of her right breast pocket and taking one out, her movements fast and clean as she lights her cigarette and inhales the tobacco, then exhales slowly, staring out at the ocean. "You're a goddamn great soldier, Robbie. You got a big heart, too big for this war...for this world. If only there were more people like you out there, we wouldn't be here fighting wars. Maybe humanity would be better."

"Thank you, ma'am." Zussman says softly from beside her and Nancy lets a small grin trace her lips, turning towards the young soldier patting his back. She starts to walk away, only to stop and turn to look at him, her smile gone and her eyes hard.

"I can't promise that if the next person that tries hurting you won't be killed. I lost you once, Robbie. I won't live with myself if I lose you again." She walks away without another word, going immediately over to Pierson, who gives her a concerned look.

"You okay? Some corporals said they saw you looking pissed off."

Nancy huffs, taking another hit of her cigarette. "Let some Japs we captured live. Zussman is way too good for this world. We don't deserve him." She pauses, looking serious.

"Will, when this war is over, and if the three of us live to see it end, I want you to come back home with me. To Cambridge."

Pierson nods, smiling softly at her. "Of course, Nance."

"And I want Zussman to come back with us. Until he's ready to face the world again. Barely 2 months on bedrest and he jumps up and joins us. I don't think he's healed from the trauma, mentally y'know." Nancy looks into Pierson's eyes, searching for anything that can make her withdraw her order, but Pierson is just still smiling down at her.

"That's fine with me, I'm worried for the kid too. As much as I love his determination, we don't know what exactly happened to him back there. And now here, our medics are being targeted? If not us, we send him to Frank, Drew, or Ronald." Pierson looks like he wants to say more, and Nancy knows what he wants to say, because goddamn Joseph would have been the best to handle Zussman if he were to spiral. He was caring like that, he'd always acted like a father to his men because he devoted his life to the Army, barely giving him the time to be a free young man. Even then, with time off, he worked and checked in on his guys like an amazing leader.

Nancy grabs ahold of Pierson's hand, intertwining their fingers together as she stares at him. "Promise me that if I don't make it, you will still go to Cambridge with Rob."

Pierson leans down and kisses the back of her hand, their signature promise. "I promise. Would you promise me the same?"

Nancy kisses the back of his hand, marking her promise. "I will."

They stay like that, taking in the comfort the other provided, afraid deep down for what else they can encounter. The battle isn't over yet, they just reached one of a hundred objectives. And even when they get another victory, it's hopping to another island and repeating the same thing. War sucked, war was unfair, war hardened people.

But to their amazement, war has yet to taint Robert Zussman, a soldier with a big heart that the world just doesn't deserve.

And the rumor is that Nancy Turner isn't completely heartless, not to her men and sometimes not to her enemy. Some would argue that no sergeant could change the Captain's mind and she let the soldier burn the Japs. Others would say that it was just a mystery that would never be solved because after that, Nancy started to fall back onto humanity's path. Robert Zussman truly is an angel.

[fleshmechsystem]

TW: Body dysmorphia, gender dysphoria, depression, self harm, trauma dump

I think the issue I have the most is that I hyper focus on my negatives.

Right now I'm thinking I'm disgusting for eating rice lately considering my appetite has gotten... Larger as of late.

Metabolism been acting faster than usual.

But I'm afraid it's doing something to my body. I don't want to get fattened up like when I was a kid. Sure being a little chubby isn't bad, but when you have a specific body image you want in mind it just... Fucks with you.

Now that I realized I'm agender new problems basically popped out that I didn't realized I even had before.

Sometimes I don't even feel androgynous enough with my stupid face. My stupid voice and my stupid hair.

I look like a goddamn brute. I look like my dad.

It's probably one of my reasons why I get so... Distraught. Alongside my other issues like severe undiagnosed paranoia (I have signs I have it) and just tendencies of being... Not nice to myself when I get in my breaking point...

I honestly start to see a warped version of myself. Because of my many MANY issues, fears and just things I genuinely have no control over I start to just disregard my own life to have it's own meaning because I don't feel satisfied with what I am and what I have.

I don't give a fuck about the financial stuff since money means nothing to me and I've come to accept that material shit won't make me happy, well unless it's plushies then maybe capitalism can win for a bit.

But all I'm saying is that. I don't have the life I want. I don't have the body I want.

I have nothing I want.

Right now I'm in the pre transition phase shit. Even then I've started to look less masculine over the years but it's... Not enough.

It's never enough.

Right now I'm just sitting in the bathroom contemplating if I should harm myself or even have the absurd idea or carving parts of my disgusting cancerous body.

Sculpting it like a lunatic.

None of this would've happened if I wasn't fed a lot as a kid. None of this would've happened if I wasn't abused.

There are outside factors there too to be fair but. I've struggled with this for years that even with me starting to finally get back to my old sunday routine of working out.

I still don't see progress.

And with my growing appetite I worry that I will start to look disgusting again.

I have nothing against other people's bodies. I really don't. I can find someone cute no matter what. But this body?

I don't like it.

This vessel.

This vessel isn't me.

I want to escape from it.

But doing that will basically kill people that don't want to die.

And right now I don't want the others to die while I'm still sane.

If this goes on long enough I'll probably start saying shit like actively fake claiming the others because I want to just push them away. Make myself not feel bad for killing them.

It isn't nice.

I never really was a patient person.

Even now I still struggle with letting my emotions in check. I physically can't even play online games because I just... Lose myself.

I'm not a good person. I never was, but at the same time that's what I've been told.

Even with their efforts, their abused will still linger and they chose to be ignorant with how hurtful they get sometimes.

Good thing I'm not a host anymore. No one is. At any time someone else could puppet the vessel and stop me from doing something silly with my funny wrist using my funny nails.

I guess. I guess I just feel like shit.

Life was never fair so I just have a cluster of problems that makes me think that the only way I can get what I want in life is through violence. Pain. And all that shit.

Honestly I lost count of wanting to commit crimes as a way to send a message. Of course for legal reasons I haven't committed them. Although I did burn a church down in project zomboid.

This is the reason why I just can't understand the empathy people express towards someone like me, who's admittedly messed up.

I'm messed up. My past was messed up.

I just. Sent myself down in this loop of hating myself over having issues because I just can't accept people love me.

I can't understand the very idea of relationships.

Even now I have issues with that with some psychology bullshit stuff. Like I have trouble with my feelings towards people. My brain goes Person is nice towards you = Love??

Like it could be platonic love but it feels really weird.

I think this is what happens if someone doesn't use a condom. You get someone like me to be born.

Hell they weren't even prepared for it. "Dad" had to go abroad just to support us making me think he doesn't even exist to the point I didn't recognize or knew him when he came back, "mom" works and was barely home to give me the affection I needed or just having a parent and not a babysitter, not to mention someone with anger issues.

Whenever I fucked up as a kid I get yelled at. Or maybe Riley did. Memory is blurry since I can't tell who's past it really was even if Riley was the host.

Eventually the whole incident happened when the split really did happen or at least according to Riley.

Kid swore, instead of being scolded, they got a handful of salt shoved down their throat.

Even now I still remember what they did to Riley. To us.

I can't forgive someone like that even if they claim they've "changed" or "feel bad about what she did" I don't forgive someone who chooses their own entitled view of themselves and only feels guilty about themselves over us.

Maybe it's fucked up love, but I don't want that love, neither does Riley I think.

We're not free yet. But honestly my relationship with the former host is fucking weird.

I don't know. Close feeling. Maybe it's the trauma bond but. It's weird.

And I really don't want it to be romantic either so I will say it's platonic certainly.

But even then being close to someone you've never met for years is weird.

Fuck.

Why am I like this?

What fucking fear and hunger god did I angered to have issues? This sucks.

I want a refund.

-Cal

[anatomyyofpain]

Alone (SadBoyProlific)

I wanna go, far away from you, but I don't wanna know how it feels to be alone Now I'm confused

I wanna go and be alone but I don't wanna know how it feels I wanna go and be alone but I don't wanna know Now I'm confused

I'm empty and broken, what is the point? Everything's dark except the light from this joint Lately they say they hate the way I cope It's hang from the clouds, or hang from a rope I've done some things for which I can't atone I grab the blade and cut down past the bone She'll never love me, I know the truth's ugly I'll hide away and push everyone from me

In my mind, I face resistance Wanna be alone but I hate the distance Honestly, I don't know what to think now I know I'm not the best to be around Wanna die, put me in a coffin Pop 20 pills, hope nobody stops it When I die don't act like it's shocking Gave you all the signs now I'm done talking

I wanna go and be alone but I don't wanna know how it feels I wanna go and be alone but I don't wanna know Now I'm confused

I wanna go and be alone but I don't wanna know how it feels I wanna go and be alone but I don't wanna know Now I'm confused

I guess that I gotta go now Feeling like a candle, one that's finna go out Roll up the dope I just need it to slow down Vision turns black while I fade to the background When I die I know they won't miss me Give it a week and then they will forget me I live for the present not future, or past Roll up a gram, I just wanna relax

Don't wanna be alone but I know it's for the best My head's like my room 'cause that shit is a mess Catch me in the backyard sparking a blunt I haven't felt like myself in months Got too attached and now I feel stupid I need to have a talk with Cupid Snap in half all the arrows he shooting I feel so goddamn foolish

I wanna go and be alone but I don't wanna know how it feels I wanna go and be alone but I don't wanna know Now I'm confused

I wanna go and be alone but I don't wanna know how it feels I wanna go and be alone but I don't wanna know Now I'm confused

[almost40ffs]

Well, dude, now because of you, I may have to be in therapy for a long while or on medication. I can thank God all I want for my safety but that was my doing! I kept myself safe! I didn't need your warnings unless I was in danger! Yeah, thanks, now for the first time in my life, I need medicine to regulate my goddamn mind. You have no regard!! Now I have to deal with the repercussions of your actions/words! Now I'll never forget your face either. I'll also never trust you.. so guess what, next time that man messes up, it's your fault because you didn't take care of him the first time. Fucking social call tryna see if I know that man. Do I look like I wanna know that man is near me by a cop? You just made it too real. I have a feeling the universe might just align us one more time and I'ma be ready. I won't keep hoping cause it is not what I want. I'll just be ready. Smh even my cat is just like "it's okay, grandmomma." He just nudged me and curled up ready to watch some TV. It's funny cause I'm not even mad at someone else knowing who I was because you already reminded me. I'm trying to let it just make me a bigger person and realize how strong I am instead of worrying about details. Like if I got y'all recognizing me from some dark times, then I must've been well known amongst you guys.. smh I'm sorry but I just see god looking at me like "it cant be".. and we both see all the real time signs. One day I'll forgive it and be able to stop these thoughts. I'll never trust you, again. So I'll thank you for telling me who you are instead of blind siding me, again, with questions.

Just because anything presently isn't happening, doesn't mean the shit ain't loud in my head. So now instead of me being happy and clear minded, I am a jumbled mess with a smile. I can't even yell at you that's what hurts my head now. Hah, my mind set is at "well excuse me, but I have stuff going on that you can't see but sure let me stop my problems to solve yours".. sad thing is, sometimes it's a welcome distraction. Always worrying about other people's problems but now I face mine in my head alone because no one else understands or as a matter fact, I can tell they don't believe me or wanna believe it. So I said forget it.. this is why I never spoke to you guys about the real shit I dealt with. Smh I grew up fast! I got to be a kid but I grew up real fast. I had a better understanding of shit than most people my age and that shows when I wanna talk about real shit. I can't even.. hah man you had no idea what my story was for my life.. and you had to bust it wide open over 20 yrs later. Now I'm looking at some people like "wow I never realized how innocent y'all's minds were compared to mine. Y'all can't even comprehend it." It just puts me at a different level mentally.. and I'm thankful for that.. but WOW.. I am definitely older for my age while I'm trying to fight staying young and the same so people don't get to know me mentally because thats just it.. some people think I was a just kid but none of them knew me mentally or what I thought. Thank you so much for that reminder. All of this stuff was my eye opener for 35 years of age. This was my turn point in life, not some damn lover/relationship. Real shit was my turn point in life. So please don't ever say I don't understand things or that I could've reached out or whatever. None of y'all will understand just how much that shit changed me. So if you see me changing and opening up, just forget about who you thought I was and see me for who the fuck i am now. That's all. I'm not the same girl anymore.. kiss her goodbye. I keep fighting in my head between two girls.. myself. I'm giving in and letting myself grow into the girl that fought hard rather than the girl the buried her shit. Smh I'm just not gonna be the same or deal with the same old shit i used to. I swear I'd write mine and my mom's story some day but lord have mercy, I cannot.

[skinni-girls-eat-books]

Tuesday, February 20th, 2024!

8:20am: Phew, that was fun, back to business now 😎 business of being a bachelorette 🤪 it's so cold I need to hook up the heated blanket bc I did that thing where I crumple up in my sleep then the stomach and back hurt from literally constricting all night. Also need to do laundry so I can get my warm clothes, they're all wet and sickly 🙃 need to start studying today (RIP this quiz) and not get another L. And also not get sick again, I need to handle these gum blisters. High key this is what happens when I have to entertain for a weekend like I am immediately behind on just so much shit. But it's so worth it ❤️ I love my family

12:22pm: Well I just don't know anymore. Every time I think I've done the worst unimaginable thing, I seem to one up myself?? I'm inflicting the karma personally now, but I don't know how to say I truly didn't mean to. Maybe my subconscious meant to. I have no fucking idea. But can we talk about how I haven't seen rain like that in months, probably won't see it again for several months, like it was just a damn bad sign. I still just think it was part of his personal karma, I just really didn't think it would get wet like that bc it hasn't rained like that since the literal summer. I think he hates me now. Well. Ok I can't do anything about that. Welp. Just kinda have no words, I was literally in fight or flight mode and he will never understand that he's the fucking reason. Fight or flight is not a reasonable train of thought in that situation. No shit I did something that makes no sense I was shaking terrified. And he doesn't fucking realize he's the goddamn reason. Good riddance.

3:09pm: well I think he blocked me on everything. A rain storm took out 8 years of friendship. And this is the what, 900th time he's chosen material objects, replaceable possessions over me? 901st time he's chosen paper, a piece of paper, over speaking to me ever again I guess. I guess I'm the shitty person, not him who lied and cheated on front of my face, nope me, who was shaking too anxious freaking out in my apartment bc he threatened my brother five days before coming to town 🤷

3:39pm: maybe this is my karma for hitting on a guy in a relationship, we just are no longer friends. Well I guess she got what she wanted, he is getting what he wants, which is to finally be able to blame me for something, and I get to have them both out of my life. This is the world now. The world is still turning.

4:00pm: It's like he was just looking for a reason to block me, just like he was looking for any reason to cheat, to leave, to break up, to move out, any little thing that could be a provoking reason and just running with it. I'm done.

I know this is technically my fault, I have apologized. Everything still feels abusive though. I was just trying to save myself, I was being selfish. But um hello so is cheating. He's not better than me and in my opinion he's still much worse than anything I've ever done to him. It's just things.

I would hope if something is actually going to come of this, his grandma would give me a warning first or something. I want to call her but I feel like everything is too heated. Let me go home, blow my nose and use the bathroom, maybe I'll call her tonight.

4:48pm: TBH we always talk about forgiving these stupid assholes. Why don't I forgive myself for this? I forgive myself. Even if I did it subconsciously, even if I was being a bitch in the back of my mind (I really don't feel this way) it's more like I was just tired of thinking about it! And look at me, thinking about it now. It's over. Whatever. He wants to take me to small claims or something? Whatever I'll live. He wants to run a smear campaign on me? Didn't he already do that? I'm still alive. He wants to take the cats as revenge? I'll live, they'll live, life goes on. If something happens to them that will be his shit I guess. I forgive myself and C said it, I'm already being Way. Too. Nice. Everybody would agree with me. I can't even bring it up bc ppl will be like ?? You still talk to him ?? Ppl would be so confused. I did the best I could without causing myself unnecessary stress on a weekend when I didn't want stress. Was I journaling this weekend? Fuck no there was a reason for that, because I was actually being happy living life. That's why y'all didn't hear from me tf. Healing continues though so we're back, still gonna push forward though.

5:19pm Damn yeah he blocked me on everything! What was even the point of speaking to me. That's fucked up to confront someone about something, something so materialistic, and then not accept an apology. Whatever. Good luck with life, good luck being a petty ass mf, acting like you're some heaven on earth angel who can do no wrong, fuck you.

5:34pm: I told my brother what happened, and he helped me feel better, I wish he lived closer to here but texting is ok now :) my family is just everything ❤️ I tried my best, it's over now, like a fever dream. On to find someone else to give my love and effort to 🥰 I'm just gonna give it to myself for now.

[deardiary07]

Dear Diary,

You'll be happy or disappointed to know that I have been eating. I only lasted a few days, longer than my average, but regardless, I failed.

I'm starting to hate being alive again. I feel neutral at the thought of death. Sometimes, I fantasise about what it would be like. Could I dream while I'm dead? Could I still live in my imagination? If not, then I suppose it's boring, but i don't expect much.

I think the dead (haha dead... get it) give away that I'm getting worse, would have to be the lovely minor breakdown I had at our Father's Day dinner in a restaurant. Luckily, we were the only ones there, so it wasn't too bad, but I still hate crying in front of people.

My family asked what's wrong but I told them nothing, and they left it at that. Part of me is happy, but part of me wants to shout at them. Can't they see what's wrong? I hate this. I hate life. I hate living. Are you that blind? Or is ignorance truly bliss enough that you ignore your daughters obvious signs?

I want to start cutting again. It was never bad when I used to. I hardly have scars. But I feel like I should hurt. I'm probably not going to, though. We're moving into summer, and they already complain when I wear jumpers all the time.

Anyways, the thing that made me write today was my father being a dick. I was playing a game and raged a little, so I yelled. I didn't think it was that loud, but apparently, it was because he came into my room.

He told me to be more quiet or get off because I might wake up my sister. I told him my sister is a deep sleeper and probably won't, but I won't yell again. He told me not to talk back, and I said I didn't. He then told me that he's not fucking around and I better not yell.

There are two major problems I have with this:

1. He didn't even give me a warning or anything, just straight to the threats.

And 2. I was on call with my friend at the time, who heard everything. She's been my friend for years, and she's accustomed to my mum yelling at me, but i don't think she expected my dad. It went silent on her end, and all I could think about was how goddamn embarrassing this was and that I'd rather kill myself than have it happen again.

That's all I wanted to say, though. I'm not sure if I'm going to start planning my death yet. I'm not too mad about the argument since it's not out of the blue and happens quite regularly, but I honestly don't know how much more I can take.

Sincerely,

- River

[bemylord]

ᴡʜᴇɴ ꜱ/ᴏ ꜱᴇɴᴅ ᴊᴜᴊᴜᴛꜱᴜ ᴋᴀɪꜱᴇɴ ʙᴏʏꜱ ɴᴜᴅᴇꜱ

characters: yuuji, megumi, toji, yuuta, gojo, kento.

warnings: aged up! smut, just they tell you what they're gonna do with you, curse words + toji.

request: Could I pleaseeee request a headcanon for Yuuji, Megumi, Toji, Yuuta and Gojo (I don't mind if you want other jjk characters instead) where their crush accidentally send them nudes?

remark: i forget abt the word 'accidentally ' so i wrote as if s/o wanted to send, i'm sorry. thanks for the request, hope you'll like it <3

ɪᴛᴀᴅᴏʀɪ ʏᴜᴜᴊɪ:

yuuji's first reaction would be shocked.

he'd close and open his eyes a couple of times, watching on your naked body.

yuuji is hesitant to give a response, just watching on the photo where you touch your clit and it's raising.

itadori swallows before again peek at the photo. damn, you're wonderful - his thought of your body took hold for a long time, as vibrations rang out in his hand. 'yuu, i want you to touch my body.'

he's in the game you're playing. and he'd be playing by your rules, certainly will.

the boner showed when you sent the new picture again. 'i'll be at home in ten minutes, sweetie.' 'i think you can run faster.'

you send one more picture. and you could swear to god you heard as the door has opened.

ꜰᴜꜱʜɪɢᴜʀᴏ ᴍᴇɢᴜᴍɪ:

first thought: shit, i have a mission.

second thought: fuck, i didn't fuck her that well last night.

megumi is ogling at your body as if he has never seen you. licks his lips, when he sees another picture of you. the penis makes itself known quickly. 'wanna have my cock now, right?' 'while you're on a mission, i can help myself.' 'dare to touch yourself.' 'already.'

sense of possessiveness [ownership] beats in his chest as he's watching as you're thrusting in your pussy a dildo.

you clearly wanna have megumi's cock touching and stretching your walls.

he won't make you wait long but certainly, will delay your orgasm.

ꜱᴀᴛᴏʀᴜ ɢᴏᴊᴏᴜ:

you had some kind of agreement? with satoru: if he goes a month without sex or masturbation, well, you'll do all his whims for a whole. fucking. year.

of course, you don't want to lose.

not that you don't want to do his fads or whims. just, what about to teaseee him?

so, you asked him to go the store to buy some things, meanwhile, you put on your body his favorite black underwear to take some provocative photos.

when you saw that he had read your message, you smirked, imagining his reaction, which you know in advance. 'the fuck?' 'i remembered, buy milk, please.' 'seriously, y/n? i'll be home asap, hate to admit, but im going to break my promise.'

yes he will but do you mind?

ɴᴀɴᴀᴍɪ ᴋᴇɴᴛᴏ:

you send because you wanted to tease him.

the office plankton had an important meeting. very important. had to be, if not for the boner.

he'll fix his tie with his finger, trying to 'quiet down' his cock as he's already ready to punish you for the photo.

kento is trying to think about the upcoming meeting, not about you. not now. but you're stuck in his mind.

tbh, he angry that you ruined his meeting, but furious that you covered your private parts with the palm of your hand, sending a message: hurry up and come, nanami.

you knew he can't cancel the meeting, but you knew he'll come somehow, he'd punish you for the ruin conference.

ʏᴜᴛᴀ ᴏᴋᴋᴏᴛꜱᴜ:

he'd be all shy when he saw your picture. he would never have guessed that you would do something like that. you and him, quite timid in sending nudes.

it was his shirt. you in his shirt. 'y/n.' 'baby, come home and play with me.'

he hates those moments when he's faw away from home as you're provoking him. 'i'm on the other side of town.

as he saw the one more picture, he couldn't wait any longer.

anyway, he'll be home faster than you can cum. you keep sending him pictures as if to remind him that you're waiting for your boyfriend.

ꜰᴜꜱʜɪɢᴜʀᴏ ᴛᴏᴊɪ:

well.. well.

can i ask you a question? why the hell did you send him naked pictures of yourself?

you obviously don't want to walk, but you obviously want his sperm in all your holes.

and when i said obviously. i mean it.

initially, when you sent your imagine in the bathroom, signing the picture: 'i want to take a bath with you', knowing he's on the mission.

but as your husband appears in the living room with his breath hitched - no more jokes. 'you. bedroom. now'

you visibly could see his boner is outlining through the sweet pants and drops of sweat coated his forehead. 'joke. toji, i-it was a joke. you know, i-i didn't mean to, to tease you.'

you obviously want his sperm in all your holes. and you will have it. he'll fuck you dumb, thus you won't send him your goddamn divine body when he is on the mission.

or you will send? well. he doesn't mind breed you holes and it seems you neither.

kudos and reblogs are welcome <3

↳ back to the master list.

credits: all images i found on the pinterest.

[slothspaghettiwrites]

No word of a lie between you, K and @leisurelypanda I am waiting with baited breath for a piece of Gabe Kapler RPF. I don’t even really read RPF but after all this I……I even checked ao3. There’s nothing.

(Bang time?) I’m begging please if you’re looking for a sign

this is ✨ ittttttt ✨

Because I can't control myself any longer. I can't keep all the filth and need between just @howdoyousleep3 and Me. Please accept this drabble of RPF Feralness.

Take One for the Team

Warnings: RPF adjacent, Coach Kink/roleplay, Dom/sub relationship, established relationships, pet names (Baby, Smalls), daddy kink, slight degradation kink, oral sex (m receiving), man's got dirty talk for days, possessive behaviour, backgrounds baseball nonsense, unedited

Author's Notes: I know absolutely fucking nothing about this man or his life. This is complete fiction. Don't take any of this seriously. In fact imagine this more like an OC x Reader fic, and he is the face claim.

You can tell the moment he walks in from practice, the door slams and his bag crashes into the entryway. It's been a shit day. The owners, the shareholders, the sponsors, they've been on his fucking ass after the last game. When they lost by a run and technicality that had nearly got Gabe thrown out.

You're barely off the couch when he's striding and bending you back over it. His hand stretches between your shoulder blades, fingers flexing into the meat of your flesh as his hips press yours into the couch. He bends over, your breath being shoved out of you as he crushes you into the cushion.

"Smalls," he growls right in your ear. Goosebumps raise across your skin as his hot breath fans over you. "You fucking skip practice again, I'll have your ass running laps."

You fight the urge to push back into him, into the hard bulge that Gabe sports. That's not the game and you know the rules.

"I forgot, coach, it won't-" You swallow a whimper as his teeth graze over your neck. "I swe-"

"There is no fucking reason." He grips the front of your throat. "You know the rules for missing a practice don't you? Or have you forgotten those too?"

"No, coach, I know the rules."

Gabe kisses your temple, a moment of tenderness, before shoving off of you. "Knees, now."

"Yes, coach."

You twist and fall to your knees, hands shaking as anticipation rolls through your body. You're eye level with his cock, the outline of it pressed into Gabe's sweats. He grips your chin, forces you to look up at him.

"Shirt off."

The command rolls off his tongue like honey and you follow instantly. The old Phillies sweatshirt lands across the room. You're left in only a too short gym shorts.

"Fuck, you are gonna kill me, smalls. A goddamn picture. Trying to make me go easy on you now?"

"No, coach." You shake your head a little for emphasis. You don't take your eyes off of his, even though you want to stare, to worship the rest of the muscled body before you. He stares you down, eyes flicking to your heaving chest, to the way your shorts cut into your hips and thighs. He licks his lips and you mimic the movement without thought.

"Open that fucking mouth then."

Your lips are barely parted before he pushes your face over his covered cock. You whine, the high pitched noise slipping out. It's not enough. You wanted to taste him, but Gabe didn't give you permission. Your tongue lathes over the fabric, wetting it and teasing him.

"Such a fucking slut for me aren't you, smalls? Do anything I tell you when you know you've been bad." He grinds out the words, his hips rolling against your mouth. "Fuck, take my dick out. We are training your throat today."

You pull the waist band of his sweats and briefs down at the same time. Eager and ready for this practice session. Gabe is thick, his cock is heavy in your hand, so hot. The tip leaks precum, begging to be licked clean. Drool pools in the back of your mouth.

"Da-" You stop yourself quickly. "Coach, I'm ready."

Your tongue sticks out, mouth wide open and waiting. His tongue pushes down on your tongue and he bends over. Gabe spits. Adds to the mess threatening to spill from your lips. It lands on your tongue and before you can swallow he feeds his cock into your mouth.

"Always so ready for me, smalls, this hot fucking mouth is mine. Now let's make this throat mine too. Take a deep breath."

That's all the warning you get. He thrusts forward, shoving his cock as deep as it will go. You gag, choke around him as he groans. Gabe never takes his eyes off you, watches your eyes water and your lips stretch. His thumb slides over the seam of your mouth, pushes on it as he keeps fucking his cock into your mouth.

"That's it, smalls, relax for me. Let me in. Fucking making a mess around my cock. Keep swallowing, just like that."

Your hands itch to touch yourself, the fire in your blood on the verge of consuming you as your thoughts start to swim. But you don't. You keep them placed on his thighs. Gabe's deep voice grows rougher, his thrusts harder. Your jaw aches, but you want more. You want him to cum.

You suck and swallow him all the way down until your nose is buried in his curls.

"Shit, fuck, that's it, small. Take it."

Gabe shudders and moments later your mouth is flooded with cum. You watch his mouth fall open, his brow pull together as he keeps his eyes trained on you. He watches your throat bob around his cock.

"Show me." He pulls out, wet and sloppy with spit and remnants of cum. "Show me, smalls."

You present your tongue, mouth wide open again as your throat keeps working as if he were still there. Not a drop of his cum is wasted, you drank it all, but he needs this, needs to see the proof that you can follow the rules of the game.

A smile breaks across his face. His lips crash down onto your mouth, tasting himself on your tongue. You relax into it, groaning as he grips the back of your neck.

"Thank you, baby," he hums against your lips.

"Anything, Daddy."

[skiyoosmi]

if fate permits

⤷ chapter twenty four: just one last time

prev < masterlist > next

Was I such an evil person in my past life to deserve this agony?

The damned question circles your mind over and over again as you walk mindlessly, vision blurry due to the tears that were continuously welling up your eyes. You've always thought watching him fall in love with someone else was already painful enough, but even that couldn't prepare you for the wrenching feeling that your heart felt when you cut the thread, forced to cut him out of your life, figuratively and literally speaking. Now that you're experiencing it yourself, you think that's the reason why people like you were forced to forget— the feeling of your heart endlessly falling to the dark abyss was not something anyone could live with for the rest of their lives, wondering what was so wrong with you that he couldn't bring himself to love you even with a thread physically connecting the two of you.

Stupid gods, they can't even do one thing right. His words echo and you choke out what seems like a pathetic attempt for a laugh, lips wobbling as you cry, "I know right, Tsum. They're so stupid."

Soulmates are so stupid. Your eyes linger on your thread, barely red as it began to become duller each hour that passed and had uneven ends due to the cutting that happened just a while ago. The red string, once bright and glowing in color, that kept you close to Atsumu for so many years, gone in just a few seconds and it felt so unfair, so cruel. Because how could someone decide your fate just like that?

You just have to get through it tonight, YN. Tomorrow, when you wake up, you won't even know that kind of heartbreak. Tomorrow, you repeat to yourself, trying to lessen the gut wrenching feeling swimming inside you; keyword, tried. Still, it doesn't stop the liquids that gather in your eyes and the hiccups that escape your mouth. Because you just loved him so goddamn much that you were willing to give up everything of you just for him, just for his happiness... and yet, he couldn't do it for you, not even one bit of him. And with that, you find yourself drowning in self-pity— no matter how much you sacrificed, no matter how long you put him first, it all still ended with you cutting the thread, the thing you treasured the most. It just wasn't meant to be.

The ringing of your phone resonates through the quiet and unknown park you had stopped by, the picture of your brother popping up on the screen.

"YN. Where in the hell are you? It's already late! Your flight's tomorrow night. Mom's close to losing the last bits of her mind. Tell me whe—"

"'Yoomi," you sob like a child, the minimal strength that kept you standing up finally giving in to your overwhelming emotions as your legs gave out as well, falling on your butt as you clutched your chest in pain, "'Yoomi."

You tried to get words out but your heavy cries stopped you from doing so, only being able to speak out his name.

"YN? What happened? Hey... take a deep breath and tell me where you are, I'll come get you myself and then we can talk about it, yeah?"

The usual monotonous voice he spoke vanished into thin air and was replaced with one that were filled with worry and concern. From the background, you can hear him telling your parents to just stay still, despite their sound of disapprovals, accompanied by the jiggling of keys which you figure were for the car, "YN, tell me where you are. Please."

"I... I..." you hiccup, looking around you for any prominent signs or landmarks, "I'm in a random park and t-there's a convenience store across. The one that we first went to when we moved to Tokyo."

"Okay. Just stay right there. I'm coming."

Kiyoomi takes a deep breath, lightly knocking on your bedroom door, sighing in relief when you responded with a quiet 'come in,' voice muffled. It has been past an hour since you arrived home, your parents opting to leave you alone as soon as they saw your swollen eyes; although, your brother couldn't obviously just sit still and look pretty, not when you're feeling like this when you're leaving tomorrow. He pushes the door open, wincing at the mess that welcomed him— some of your clothes were still not packed, luggages were lying down on the floor and there you were, on the bed, face down and shoved to the pillow.

"Did a storm pass by?" He asks, trying to at least lighten the mood, sitting at the foot of the bed and beginning to fix your things for you. He knew better than to pry, especially when he already had a guess on who brought you in such a devastated state. Instead of replying, you hold your hand up, he can see it for himself anyway.

His usually-calm demeanor breaks as he saw your thread, now in a dark maroon color. He stood up so quick that he felt lightheaded, "YN!"

Your head turns to him, eyes watering once more as you sob, "'Yoomi... I feel dead. Like my heart was forcefully ripped out of my chest. I... I don't know what to do... I can't take this."

He approaches you, engulfing your form in a hug, whispering his comforts as he speaks a gazillion of curses to Atsumu in his mind. He swears he might just punch the blonde to death as soon as he sees him, "You'll be okay. We're here. You're gonna be fine."

"I... I don't want to forget him... Please don't take him away from me... I love him," you cry out to the gods above, praying so desperately even if you knew it was impossible. You were no one special, who were you to be graced with such a miracle? And yet here you were, weeping the same prayers over and over again, knowing deep inside that no matter how much you beg, even if you were already on your knees, tomorrow would still come— the tomorrow that has no Miya Atsumu in it.

At that moment, you wished you hadn't just befriended him, you wished you just left him alone when he was playing with your brother; because nothing could compare to the pain of losing all of him— your soulmate, your beloved, your best friend— in just a matter of seconds.

Kiyoomi finishes packing for you by the time you calmed down a bit and leaves you alone, speaking about you should rest for your flight. As if you could do that... the moment you close your eyes, it's really over because the next time you open them, it's going to be a new YN. Gone will be you who knew each and every part of him, replaced with someone who won't even be able to recognize him...

Yet despite your heart's refusal towards the truth, your mind contradicts it and thinks back to his previous words, "...it has been too long of waiting..."

With that, your resolve crumbles into pieces and you find your eyes fluttering close. Somehow, you give out a small and sad smile, heart aching because of him... just one last time.

I'm sorry for not keeping my promise, Atsumu.

note. no words just... tears up because the next one might just be sadder than this

[rpmemesbyarat]

RP meme from Tremors

Let's get you out of the sun for a spell.

Please move your fat ass.

Well, when I'm your age I'll probably forget what I eat, too.

How many cows does it take to make a stampede? Is it like three or more? Is there a minimum speed?

You will have long blonde hair, big green eyes, nice full breasts that stand up and say hello, ass that won't quit. And legs, legs that go all the way up!

Yeah, well, I'm getting what I refer to scientifically as "weird vibes."

They're all the same; dead weight. Can't make a decision, can't walk because of their shoes, can't work because of their fingernails. Make my skin crawl!

Well, I'm a victim of circumstance.

Twenty years of looking for a woman exactly like Miss October 1968, and where'd it get me?

Down, honey, down.

The way you worry, you're gonna have a heart attack before you get to survive World War III.

Right. We plan ahead. That way we don't do anything right now.

The idea was; we were ripping you off.

Now, you know I'm good for it.

Are we too easy-going?

If we're gonna take the plunge we oughta have a better plan than that.

Stop it! Stop it, you horrid animal!

God almighty, my mama sure didn't raise me for this.

You're the one's gotta have a plan.

What keeps us doing jobs like this is you dragging your feet.

You gonna stand there in broad daylight and tell me you think I'm the reason we're still here?

I'll call that little bluff.

Forget it, man. It's not worth it.

We did it! We faced temptation and we did not bend!

Last chance, asshole.

Jeez, look at that guy.

You're full of shit.

He must've really been drunk this time.

You damn fool, you owe me on this one

Well, whatever the hell happened it's just one more goddamn good reason to haul ass out of this place.

Hey, where the hell's that asshole dog?

We got a killer on the loose!

He's cutting people's heads off!

I'd high-tail for town if I was you!

The phone is out!

We've gotta get the police up here.

Well, there's sure as hell nothing to stop us now.

Is some higher force at work here?

Are we asking too much of life?

You on a booze break or what?!

Where are the bullets? Don't we have any goddamn bullets?

Hey, I don't want spend the night out here!

What the hell you doing back already?

Unreal! Where'd you get it?

It's disgusting.

So, it's some kind of snake?

It's dead all right. Tore the damn thing in half.

There's gotta be more out there, a lot more.

Slick as snot and I'm not lying.

Look, we organize, we arm ourselves.

We go out, we find those damn snake things, we make 'em extinct.

Might be aliens. Who knows?

Why go looking for trouble?

Phone's out. Road's out. We're on our own.

I'm dead. Let's finish in the morning.

Just keep looking at that beautiful sky.

Damn that thing!

Well, what's wrong with it?

You sure this is where it was?

God, what a stink!

Something's got me!

Oh, God! Get me Out!! GET ME OUT!!

Somebody stop it!

You want the rifle or the Smith?

IT'S GOT ME! IT's GOT ME! AAAAHGH!

You stupid punk!

One of these days, [NAME], somebody's gonna kick your ass.

Come back with the Sheriff.

Come back with the National Guard.

That means we're gonna be out here, like, in the dark.

Oh, man, I hate this shit.

Ride like hell.

How could they bury an entire Plymouth station wagon?

They're under the goddamn ground!

There must be a million of them!

It's gaining on us!

We can do it, we can do it!

We killed the bastard!

Did you just notice something weird?

Think it smells like that 'cause it's dead?

I think they shoot right outta its mouth, hook you, and pull you right in.

Good thing we stopped it before it killed anybody else.

I'm lucky it didn't find me.

This is like, well, let's say it, it's probably the biggest zoological discovery of the century.

Just look at what we caught here!

This is one big mother!

Come on, nobody's ever seen one of these!

There are five more of these things!

Five more?

If you compare the different readings, there have to be five.

There's nothing like them in the fossil record, I'm sure.

I'd vote for outer space. No way those are local boys.

The government built them, a big surprise in the next war.

How the hell's it even know we're still here?

It can sense the slightest seismic vibration, hear every move we make.

I always wanted to be stuck on a desert island. But somehow I always imagined, you know, water.

You know, I hate to be crude, but I'm gonna have to take care of some business here.

I'll tell you, if you ever wanted proof God is a man, this is it.

Running's not a plan. Running is what you do when the plan fails.

You're not even trying to come up with a plan!

Think it's still following us?

You go north, I'll go south.

Well, I'm scared, but I'm not sorry.

All right, I'm about as subtle as a donkey's ass.

You think we're not even safe here in town?

I think we should all get the hell out while the getting's good.

You should have a theory at least.

This valley's just one long smorgasbord and if we don't haul ass outta here we're the next course.

You little ass wipe!

You knock that off or you're gonna be shitting that basketball!

Where are we going to go that's safer than right here?

I'm gonna kick his ass!

Man, you got a gun?!

Big as a house!

Remember, no noise. No vibration.

Get off your pogo stick!

Go back, for chrissake!

Come on! Outta your pants!

Just run! Run like screaming fuck!

This oughta hurt like hell.

So, is that one of your usual jobs, saving peoples' lives?

How long till they go away?

Shut it up! Shut the little bastard up!

Quiet! Quiet you hateful thing!

Chuck him out the door!

Son of a bitchin' lowlife, putrid, scum.

I got enough food here to last us for weeks.

Jesus! Shut it off!

Can't you shout a little quieter?

How the hell long it take you to change a tire?

They're coming after you! They're coming right now!

Big monsters under the ground, [NAME]!

Broke into the wrong goddamn rec room, didn't you, you BASTARD!

We killed that motherfucker!

Uh, be advised, however, there are four more, repeat, four more motherfuckers.

They got one! They killed one of the sons of bitches!

You're not getting any penetration, even with the elephant gun.

Never figured on having to shoot through dirt! Best goddamn bullet stop there is.

They can feel our vibrations, but they can't find us.

The bastards are up to something.

Oh, wow, man! No way! No fucking way, man!

They're gonna tear this whole town out from under us!

We'll come get everybody. Just hang on tight.

Since when the hell's every goddamn thing up to us?!

We don't have a hell of a lot of time here.

We need a helicopter is what we need, or a goddamn tank.

Jesus. It's slower than hell.

Couldn't we distract them somehow?

We need a decoy.

Hey, [NAME], you wanna make a buck?

We're gonna save our asses here!

Get real. I'm faster than you.

Damn. Guess I have to do it.

Watch your ass, shithead.

Don't worry about me, jerkoff.

You goddamn suicidal son of a bitch!

He'll never make it! They're gonna get him!

HEY, YOU SORRY SONS OF BITCHES, COME AND GET ME!

Goddamn good thinking!

Me next!

Get me off of here!

We got about three seconds!

God damn! Armored transport!

What do you think? Max firepower or...?

I'd go for penetration.

Give me a gun! I'll take one!

I wouldn't give you a gun if it was World War Three.

Underground goddamn monsters?!

Any sign of'em?

Maybe they're taking a dump.

What the hell are they doing? They're up to something.

I don't care what they're doing as long as they're doing it way over there.

They dug a trap! I can't believe this!

Hungry?! Eat this!!

Here they come! They're coming back!

They'll sure as hell get us if we stay here!

[NAME] do you have any more of those things?

Then, when the explosion happens, if it drives them away again, we all run like goddamn bastards!

What if it doesn't scare them? What if they don't run?

They're so sensitive to sound, they have to run! It hurts too much!

We're gonna run. Get ready.

They're too fast! You can't outrun them, no way!

It worked! There they go!

You asshole! There's no bullets in this gun!

Could we make it to the mountains?

What's the matter with you? What are you talking about?!

Those animals would have killed you!

You haven't seen what they can do.

They're not falling for it!

I'll make'em pay attention, goddamnit

We can't kill them all.

Use the fucking bomb!

This better be one great plan!

We could make some real money off this whole thing, get in People magazine.

Sell the movie rights.

You're really leaving, huh?

There's going to be major research up here.

And thanks for everything, you know, saving my life and stuff.

Civil? I'm civil.

You're not civil, you're glum.

We got the world by the tail with a downhill pull and all of a sudden you go glum on me.

Somebody paying you to do this?

She just practically asked you for a date.

God, my work is never done.

Fine, make the mistakes I did.

I think I'll just be playing this hand myself.

I'd goddamn worship her.

Can you fly, sucker?! CAN YOU FLY?!

[thesaltyace]

For anyone else taking ADHD meds in the US, does your doctor keep track of the annual pre-auth stuff and submit it to insurance before it causes a delay in getting your meds, or do you have to remind them yourself before that date? Or do you just get hosed every time because your doctor doesn't track it and you can't remember to remind them? Cause I am about to lose my goddamn shit over this. ARGH.

Timeline summary of this week's bullshit:

Sunday: I requested a refill of Vyvanse from my doctor's office through the online app.

Monday morning: I got a notification that their office received the request.

Wednesday morning: Realized I had one pill left and hadn't gotten a notification from my pharmacy. Messaged doctor's office to ask if it had been sent. Got a reply that "because this is a controlled medication, the doctor must sign off on it" (yeah, thanks, got that) and that they would "remind him to sign off on medications".

Wednesday night: Got notification from pharmacy that the prescription was received but was "delayed" due to needing insurance approval.

Friday night: no change on my prescription status, so I visit the pharmacy to ask what's up. Turns out, my insurance wants a pre-authorization. Because when you take ADHD meds they require your doctor submit a pre-auth form annually. Because, idk, maybe my ADHD vanished overnight and I don't need the medication anymore? Idk, seems like if my doctor PRESCRIBED IT TO ME then I probably need it?! Pharmacy says they sent over the info to my doctor's office Thursday and hadn't gotten an update from insurance about it since, so they assume it either hasn't been submitted or is in the process of approval from insurance. I'll give you one guess what my suspicion is based on my previous experience with my doctor's office.

So I immediately sent a message to my doctor's office asking them to confirm when they expected to have that info submitted or to let me know if it had already been submitted. Since it can take 2-3 days to get approval from insurance once it's submitted so they kinda need to get on that and not let it sit there.

Which means by the time I get my meds I will certainly have gone a whole week without them. Guess it's a good thing my current job is ending cause I can go without them for now and just be like LOL oh well who cares. -_-

I'm super pissed off because I should not have to go a week without meds for this bullshit. The three prongs of failure, none of which are likely to change:

If insurance actually cared about providing good service and the wellbeing of its members (LMFAO funny right? can you imagine??) they'd allow me to get a partial fill for a week so that I don't have to go without medication. And they should promise to cover that week of partial-filled Rx regardless of the pre-auth outcome. Since, you know, I've already been taking this medication for a fucking year and they've had no problem covering it before.

My doctor did tell me when he first prescribed the meds that insurance would want a pre-auth every year. It sounded to me like THEY would keep track of that and submit it IN ADVANCE so I wouldn't have to go without meds. Hah. Hahaha. Hahahahahahahahahah. At the time I didn't know how fucking awful his office would be at simply submitting a prescription on time, so I'm sure my brain only vaguely registered the info about a pre-auth and went "Oh, good, I'm glad I won't have to track that myself!" It only hit me like a train while I was listening to the pharmacist very apologetically tell me what was going on with the delay.

Walgreens' app only says "delayed" for my prescription status and makes vague reference of needing insurance approval. If they had just fucking said it needs a pre-auth FROM MY DOCTOR I would have seen that on Wednesday night and called my doctor first thing on Thursday to make sure they fucking submitted it before the weekend. But because Walgreen's didn't specify the reason insurance needed approval, it didn't make me think there was something I could/needed to do to move it along. My pharmacy could have been helpful with this issue by actually providing actionable information, but they didn't.

Had I known my doctor would NOT be keeping track of when to submit a pre-auth like it was suggested last year, I would have made a calendar reminder for myself so that I could do it for them and we probably could have avoided the whole thing despite the idiotic system we have where insurance wants to decide if they'll approve what your doctor has already determined you need.

But here we are.