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#i can't simply just say 'i'm gonna go for a hike today' and be normal about. always gotta psycho analyze myself
suffercerebral · 4 months
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me having gone to bed at 6 am every day for the past week and generally spiraling mentally while rotting in bed waking up this morning: a 4 mile hike in the heat is a really good idea right now, and while we're at it let's start like 3 art projects
#maybe my mom was onto something all these years telling me i'm bipolar#no i don't think i am but i do technically have a bpd diagnosis so like. mood swings up the fucking wazoo are not new#but i am not one to be like 'exercise will fix me'#i've also just come to terms recently with the fact that i didn't kill myself already so might as well start thinking of the long term#so not being in constant pain when im older is something im actually thinking of now#so like. gotta move more which i was doing during this semester! walking like 3 miles a day which didn't help brain but#it's gotta be good for you anyway even if i don't get the endorphins everyone says you get when working out#that's neverrrr been me bc also chronic illness w exercise intolerance#so it's like. wah i have a desire to move my body more and know it's beneficial#but chronic illness + mental illness + trying not to think about exercise in terms of weight loss bc i'm trying not to make that the goal#although certainly wouldn't be mad if that was the result but if i prioritize it over just overall health it's gonna make me obsessive#i'm saying a lot of words. i have no one to really talk to so i once again come to tumblr as a public diary#ANYWAY. trying to find balance with wanting to exercise for overall well-being but dealing with other factors like chronic illness#which has actually been under the most control it's been in years i barely even consider myself (physicslly) disabled these days#and also balancing the fact that while my disordered eating has never recovered and i still have extremely bad relationship with myself#im in a relatively better place with that. i'm not starving myself and im not going through binge/purge cycles#but my relationship with food and eating is still very much unhealthy#and i don't think that will ever really change bc it's so ingrained in the everything about me#i don't really know what i'm talking ahout anymore or what prompted this#i can't simply just say 'i'm gonna go for a hike today' and be normal about. always gotta psycho analyze myself#im in a very weird stage in my life where i feel like i have control over nothing and i barely even exist in my own body#im just like a cacophony of voices trapped inside a meat suit but im not in the drivers seat im stuffed in the trunk and tied up#and the guy driving is an old blind mind who should have lost his license his ass is NOT road safe!#so it's like i have all these ideas and desires and feelings and ahh!! but hey i'm locked up here let me out please#and also the state of the world. so bleak and hopeless and paralyzing that i've just kind of shut my feelings off so i'm rapidly switching#between numbness and overwhelming agony#what the fuck am i talking about
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ritcchamadayo · 1 year
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Please, Part 3 of Punk Jade, you're giving me more of a reason to simp for this man-
I will honestly GLADLY turn into a Jade-fic blog i am so far gone when it comes to this man... Sorry for the wait guys! Uni had me in a chokehold (again) but LETS GET BACK TO SIMPING
A Look Into The Past (Pt. 3)
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Jade Leech x Reader ;
On a rare day off, Jade found himself pondering Professor Crewel's fashion tips when it came to styling his piercings but couldn't decide for himself. Who else to ask for opinions other than you?
(we're back again folks!! again thank you so much for the love on this fic!! I'll be considering posting this on Ao3 as a full series after this one XD THANK YOU!!!)
Reader is a Sophomore in this fic, just like the twins!
Read Part 1 Here! Read Part 2 Here!
"U-Um, so that's what you called me out for?" "Yes, exactly."
When Jade had contacted you saying that there was a "disaster", you certainly didn't expect the disaster to be the eel-mer's own wardrobe. You were surprised at the amount of clothes he had, but a few of them are quite... distasteful, to say the least.
When Jade wore his ear piercings to school the other time, he was stopped by none other but Professor Crewel and was given an earful about how to dress and act when wearing such flashy accessories. Granted, they were at school so it can't be helped, but Crewel made sure to make Jade remember his fashion tips for days off like today.
"Did Floyd get you this?" You hold up a purple shirt with a drawing of an eel, and big blocky text saying "Mentally Eel". You grimaced at how tacky the shirt was. "Ah, yes he did. Floyd has the habit of collecting anything eel-related in the surface world, you see."
You had to stifle a laugh at the thought. "Ah, that's where he got those eel keychains."
You rummaged through Jade's wardrobe (with permission, of course) and pulled out most of his clothes, gently putting them down and organizing them by type. There were a few normal button-up shirts, a pair of pajamas, Jade's hiking clothes and equipment, and let's not forget the winter clothes he wore on his trip to Harveston. (You wonder why he wore shorts AND leggings with his hiking wear, but you're not gonna question it.)
"What did Crewel say about them anyway? And uh, why me out of all people? I'm pretty sure someone like Vil or Cater could give you much better insight?" You ask. Jade tilts his head, pondering for a second. "Why, I suppose it's because you were the first person to pop up in my mind. I couldn't hope to bother our seniors, after all. Besides, your sense of fashion is quite good."
Bullshit reasoning. Or so you say, but you feel your ears heat up from the thought of Jade thinking of you. "Oh. I-I see." Jade wasn't lying when he said you had a good sense of fashion though, your choice of outfits on days off were always endearing to him. You were wearing a blouse paired with black overalls today, which looked both comfortable and fashionable at the same time.
"What did Crewel say?" "Hm... He said that a relaxed, mature look would suit for a lesser amount of accessories, to put it simply. Either that, or something simpler to accentuate the accessories if we were to wear more amounts."
Perhaps it's time for a little fashion show, then?
You quickly look around and pull out a few pieces of clothing- A pair of white pants and bright blue and yellow short sleeved shirt, giving off a bit of a tropical vibe. Jade took the clothes gratefully, putting them on the bed for him to change into.
"Oh? Are you perhaps going to watch me change, or~?" "I-I'M NOT! I'M LOOKING AWAY!!!" Your face shone red, quickly turning around to look at the door instead. Jade chuckled quietly, unbuttoning his shirt and taking them off. You can clearly hear the sound of him unzipping his pants as well, making you wipe your sweat off your forehead. (there's the urge to peek, but you better not.)
"Alright, I've finished changing. What do you think?"
You nervously turn around, and closely examined Jade in your chosen clothes. "It looks pretty good! I think a bit of a messier look would look nice with lots of accessories on your ears, like if you unbuttoned a few from the top of your shirt."
Jade complies, messing up his hair slightly and unbuttoning his shirt to reveal his collarbone, and you feel yourself regretting your words.
"I quite agree. The colors of the shirt pop with the addition of the white pants, and the silvers of the metal can be clearly seen."
"A-Ah, yeah!" (remember to look respectfully, dear) "Can you lean down for a sec?" Jade kneels down to your level sitting on the floor, and you take out a few of his accessories from the little wooden box he kept neatly inside his wardrobe. You picked up a few unused piercings and tried mixing and matching them on his ears, laughing when Jade comments your fussing over his ears tickles quite a bit.
"But it's not really your style, honestly... A flashy look like this kinda fits Floyd more." You comment, but deep down you think it wasn't a bad change of pace to see Jade in something other than buttoned-up shirts and suits. Turning back to the clothes pile, you pick out another set of clothes- this time, it was a comfy white turtleneck with black dress pants. You also found a brown trench coat in the depths of his wardrobe, which Jade said his parents' acquaintances gifted him for his birthday and he didn't know how to style it.
You looked back to the door once again as he changes out of the clothes, putting the new set on quickly and gracefully. "Oh, this definitely feels much more my style."
You turned around to see for yourself, and your eyes shone excitedly seeing him in the new getup. "Oh! Definitely!!" You cheered, giggling while at it. "You surprisingly suit the more mature-but-comfortable look, Jade." The eel-mer chuckles, sitting back down on the floor. "I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks so. What about the accessory choices, then?"
"Hmm... Crewel said that less is better in this getup, so just a little..." Picking up a few ring shaped ones, you carefully put a few piercings on Jade's ears- a simple look, consisting of the double helix on top of his ears and a couple of silver studs along his lobes.
"There! Well it isn't exactly a little either, but..."
Jade looked at the mirror in his room, a satisfied smile on his face. A smile that is neither shady, plotting, or emotionless- a genuinely happy smile. "My my, I was correct in assuming you had good taste in fashion. I'm rather confident in this look, actually. It's comfortable enough for me to move in, and yet still maintaining the fashionable aura from the coat."
You had a grin on your face, proud of your handiwork. "All thanks to you being a good model! And for having a variety of clothes I can choose from, haha."
You had quickly put the rest of his clothes back into his wardrobe after making a few other suggestions, and dusted yourself off as you stood up. "I should probably get going now, I wouldn't want to invade for too long." You say, stretching your arms and getting ready to get back to your dorm. You open the door, stepping out from his neat room.
"Ah, before that." Jade called out, following you outside. He quickly (and rather smoothly) took your hand in his, closing and locking up his room. "Since we're already in decent clothes, what do you say I take you on a small trip around Sage's Island? Perhaps we can stop by and grab some food. My treat of course, after you've oh-so graciously helped me."
Your cheeks heat up, and you feel your gaze lowering to stare at the floor instead of the man in front of you.
"...Is this your way of asking me out?" "Perhaps. Do you accept?"
You couldn't bring yourself to decline his offer. (Your empty stomach also couldn't.)
"S-sure then. I'd love to, Jade."
"Splendid. It's a date, then."
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allmylove-hxx · 3 years
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Mornings like this.
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Hi beautiful people! It's been a while since I wrote something. Writers block is a real thing but it felt so good to finally whip up something new and sweet! Thank you to two of my favorite people @harrytheehottie and @oh-honey-styles for letting me share my work with them before I put it out for everyone to see. And for simply being the best💗 Happy reading!!
When Harry peaked out the window a smile quickly appeared on his face. You were sitting on the patio cocooned in his lilac robe with your knees pulled up to your chest. He was sure you just woke up moments ago by the way you rubbed your eyes, 7:30 on a weekend was early for you but for him it was normal.
 
The past few weeks he was up early to be on set, leaving you to sleep with a quick peck on your head and a "love you." If he had time though, he would go the extra mile to leave a sticky note on the bedside table with a note saying have a good day or don't miss me too much with a poorly drawn wink. 
"Early bird gets the worm darling," he would say with a cheeky grin when you try and coax him back into bed. Sometimes it worked but once he was up, he was up. 
As he slides the back door open, you let out a yawn and give him a sleepy smile. "Rise and shine sleeping beauty" he says, giving your forehead a kiss as he sits next to you. You were quick to throw your legs over his lap and he was just as quick to pull you closer to him. Mornings like this were his favorite. Peaceful with absolutely no worry of being anywhere. 
He just simply enjoyed being as close to you as he can be, and you felt the same way. A quiet hum was heard from you when he gave your knee a squeeze. "Missed you this morning. The hike would've been more fun if you came with me." He mumbled against the side of your head. 
"Are you that obsessed with me that you can't spend an hour away from me Styles?" You questioned with a smirk. Was he obsessed with you? He'd be lying If he said that he wasn't. 
"Can you blame me? I mean, look at you! Wearing my robe with what I'm hoping has nothing under it." He draws out the last few words while his fingers trail up your leg. When they come in contact with the hem of your pajama shorts, he drops his head in defeat. 
"Better luck next time." 
He tried to bite back his smile after you said that but he couldn't help it. You somehow always managed to get one on his face and that was one of the things he loved the most about you. 
Just a few days ago he came home after an excruciatingly long day. He couldn't remember any of his lines, had to re-shoot the same scene at least 15 times and felt like he was gonna fall over from exhaustion. So when he was greeted with a smile from you, his terrible day got better. 
"Better luck next time?" he questioned with a raised brow, "Oh you're about to regret those words baby." You knew that smirk all too well and before you could get a word out his fingers attacked your sides with a yelp coming out of you.
 "Stop! Harry please!" You pleaded to him through a laugh. His dimples looked like they were going to jump off his cheeks from the way he was smiling at you. "I'm going to pee my pants if you don't stop!" You shrieked at him. 
"You're wearing shorts not pants!" He always had a comment for everything. It was with a kiss to your lips that he stops and you could practically feel the butterflies fluttering in your stomach because of it. 
It wasn't just a quick peck, it was a kiss that had you melting into him. A kiss that was slow and soft and one that you didn't want to end. His lips tasted like the mint chapstick he stole from you and his fingers now brushed softly across your cheeks and into your hair. 
The soft sigh that you let out had him pulling  away slowly, his forehead coming to rest against yours. "Have I told you how much I love you today?" He whispers. 
You shake your head, your eyes fluttering shut once you feel his lips on your forehead. "I love you. Even if you do steal my robe." Mornings like this really were the best.
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