#i can't take the word tonight quite seriously anymore

[black-and-yellow]

JDNT

[bonny-kookoo]

Jungkook

𝓛𝓪𝓬𝓻𝔂𝓶𝓪𝓻𝓲𝓪 𝓞𝓵𝓸𝓻 [Final]

It's time.

Tags/Warnings: Alien!Jungkook, Human!Reader, Size difference, sci-fi, Romance, strangers to lovers, fluff, suggestive, smut, unprotected because this is alien fantasy, kinda creampie idk

Length: 5.5k words

There is no taglist for this fic.

-> Masterlist

A/N: I hate how it turned out but you all always beg me to finish my shit so here you go.

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Jungkook watches fondly from the large windows of his main office at the castle how you feed the still unsteady animal out in the large gardens where it's home is placed, while Hoseok, one of his closest guards and advisors, watches you from close by. 

The man has been tasked to basically watch over you when the king himself can't, and he takes his job very seriously, visibly- much to Jungkook’s approval. 

"I heard that she was crying last night." Namjoon says, walking up behind the king who nods. 

"Bitterly so." He admits, remembering the incident from hours prior when you'd sat close to the being as it passed, Jungkook offering you silent comfort. He wasn't sure why you were so upset- and why you even demanded to stay even though the situation had caused you so much distress. "She cared a lot for a being she used to be afraid of." He says. 

Last night, Ikkan rebirthed. You had given the Is'oi a name after asking Namjoon for help to choose an appropriate one- settling for one that means 'deep blue' in native language. You had just gone out to 'say goodnight' to the being you'd played around with the entire day, just to call out Jungkook's name in clear distress, causing the King to instantly rush to you, fearing something might've happened. But instead, he found you, on your knees in front of the being you used to be so wary of- it's body clearly stiffening now in it's laying position, head barely moving anymore as it's eyes watched you with fondness. The glow had dimmed significantly, as the first scales fell from it's body, rotting like a flower that wilts away as it reached it's end. 

He'd told you, reminded you that the being will be reborn tonight as well- but you still did not stop crying as you ran your hand over their head, offering comfort for what usually is left to the quiet of night. But Jungkook could not bring himself to tell you to leave, couldn't take that moment from you- going against his own culture to instead stay that night, watching the whole process for the first time as well. 

And he could've sworn, he heard the large being purr, leaning against you as they rested their head in your lap, falling asleep one last time before Ikkan's chest no longer moved. And then, with no life left, they began to wilt away, body falling apart as they dissipated into nothing but ashes it looked like. 

Until something moved. 

Your eyes were wide as you watched the small, still somewhat blind being cry out into the night- but this time, their cries were being answered by a kind hand reaching out, softly brushing away the remnants of their last life. And Jungkook had felt a certain sense of pain in his heart he could not describe as you showed just how nurturing you are to things not even remotely resembling your own kind. 

How would you be as a mother? 

"She's a kind one." Namjoon agrees, pulling him out of his thoughts and memories. "Maybe a bit too kind." The advisor and doctor worries a bit. 

"That won't be an issue." Jungkook shakes his head. "She's got me at her side." He exclaims, gaze softening quite a bit as you hold the bottle of nutrient feed up for the young rebirthed being to drink from. He's almost a bit jealous- you're spending a lot of time outside now, far away from him. He'll walk down to you soon though, wondering how you can not be cold with just your regular gowns on your body. 

You're fragile. You get sick so easily. 

"And yet there is no true claim on her yet." His friend teases, making Jungkook turn his head to glare at him. "You cannot be mad at me for pointing it out. It's painfully obvious to everyone- in fact, there's rumours already spreading." He says, and that catches Jungkook's full attention now. He doesn't like people talking negatively about you. You don't deserve to be spoken down to, especially not as a future queen, once he brings you officially into that job. 

"And what, pray tell, are those rumours about?" He asks, eyes sharpening. 

"That she is incapable of.. providing you." Namjoon teases, and Jungkook sighs, shaking his head as he crosses his arms, watching you in the gardens again instead. "How come? You had been very quick to connect with Hana." He asks, and Jungkook's gaze hardens. 

"Because she practically demanded it." He growls. "It was necessary for her.. happiness, or at least that's what I believed, back then." He lowly says. 

"And she does not want it?" Namjoon wonders. "Curious. Even though humans are such intimate creatures." he hums, standing next to Jungkook again. 

"Oh she does. It's very clear in her behaviour." Jungkook almost smirks. "Her body is calling out to me almost every night." He admits. 

"So?" His friend asks. "Why not take her then?" He questions, before he notices the deep thought in Jungkook's face. "You're worried." 

"I am." The king admits. 

"About what?" Namjoon wonders. 

"I believe it is clear what I could possibly worry about, Namjoon." He says, looking at his friend. "You as a man with medical knowledge should know that more than anyone. Or are you not familiar with human anatomy compared to ours?" He almost teases, making Namjoon laugh. 

"Oh I am aware!" He laughs. "Which is why I can tell you, that she will be just fine." He reassures. 

"I was too much for even Hana." He reminds his friend. "Which is most likely why she searched for.. satisfaction somewhere else." He mumbles lowly to himself, averting his gaze. 

"So you'll give up before even trying?" Namjoon clicks his tongue. "Ah well. I may be able to ask Jimin if he's up for the job then. Considering how humans connect love with intercourse-" He starts, making Jungkook instantly move to grab his arm, twisting it around as he backs Namjoon into a wall. 

"You will not even think about such a thing." He growls. 

"Then what?" Namjoon challenges. "You'll just leaver her lonely? Put your new love on the line just because you're a coward?" He asks, making Jungkook clench his jaw, eyes glowing for a second while his veins darken underneath his skin. 

But he behaves himself, forces control, and lets go of Namjoon. 

"You're right." He settles himself. "I should not.. think of her so lowly." He sighs, swallowing down his bubbling rage. 

"Talk to her." Namjoon says gently. "I'm sure she'll understand where you're coming from if you just explain it to her." 

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"Breathtaking." Jungkook comments, as you turn your heads while the maids bow at him, who leans against the doorframe, watching them help you dress and connect the chains over your body with decorative pliers. The chains hold jewels that sound like a windchime almost, a sound you've come to enjoy a lot. 

As soon as the maids are done, they walk out, looking very much caught off guard and even quite shy at the soft 'thank you' Jungkook offers them as they pass him, something that's not common in his culture. As soon as the door closes, he walks towards you with a gentle smile, his own clothes looking expensive, and official. "You look just like the queen you are." He muses, and you laugh. 

"About to be." You correct him, leaning into the hand on your cheek. "I'm a bit nervous." You admit, and he smirks. 

"You are very nervous, my dear. Not just 'a bit'." He corrects as well, and your shoulders slump down as you admit defeat. "Do not worry. I'm there, and the people are already very fond of you and the changes you brought." He admits. 

"Changes?" You wonder. "But I've done nothing." You ask him, confused. 

"You did." He nods. "You changed me. And with that, you changed the way I rule this kingdom." He explains, as he adjusts your dress for you, fingers tracing the delicate jewelry decorating your body. 

"What if they think you're weak now?" You worry instantly, and he shakes his head, smile never leaving his lips. 

"They do not." He shakes his head. "A King is strongest with his people's trust placed in him. You'll see what I mean later." He offers, before he makes sure to adjust the soft pelt around your shoulders now to keep you warm. 

As you both make your way through the halls, you wonder. You've never actually been in the town surrounding the castle grounds, only ever saw some of the outskirts and farmlands from afar. But today, you'll make your way into town- to show yourself to the people, your first official 'showing', as Jungkook had explained. It's a first- even with Hana, he's never shown her publicly like this. But with you, he wants to make that step. 

He's serious about you, and your future. He's proving that today. 

And the first glimpses of the town makes you realize what Jungkook had been talking about- because as soon as he's visibly to the people, they smile, wave, children run to him with opened palms as if to wait to receive something. And Jungkook does give something- his own hand brushing over their palms, a gesture that makes them smile and laugh in excitement. "It's a blessing." Hoseok mumbles from your other side, the man keeping his hand on his sword at his belt. "So that their work will always be fruitful." He explains, and you listen to it at full attention, when Jungkook laughs next to you, making you look at him- his eyes looking down at something. 

Two children, young boys looking at you with dark red eyes and cat-like pupils similar to Jungkook's, hands opened towards you. You're a bit lost now, unsure what to do- so the king next to you takes your hand in his, and offers you guidance in how to do it- your fingers running over the warm palms of the two kids, who grin and laugh happily, before running back to their parents in the crowd gathered on the sides. 

You repeat this action time after time, growing more comfortable and mostly confident in yourself the more you walk around in town, letting Jungkook explain to you where he grew up, showing you taverns and other places he remembers visiting often. It makes you remember that at some point, Jungkook was not considered royalty at all- just a regular young man, a boy, a child at some point, nothing out of the ordinary. And now, he's done what he said he would- he challenged the king, took the throne, and changed the ways that used to be the norm. Not just by taking you as his partner- but also in other ways. 

As you sit in one of the bigger taverns, you can't help but watch with a constant smile how the people celebrate Jungkook almost, dancing around and drinking, though the King seems to stay away from the alcohol, for a reason you're not sure of. "Can she drink?" A young man asks, setting down another pitcher with water onto your table you sit at. "I apologize, I don't know much about humans." He apologizes. 

"She can, but she shall not tonight." Jungkook answers for you. "I'd hate for her to too intoxicated to survive the way home." He chuckles, making everyone laugh, including you. You already know that you can't handle any of the liquor on this planet- something you realized way before you even met Jungkook in the first place. 

"Oh, then I won't offer any!" The man says, bowing politely before he leaves you be. Jungkook keeps his arm around you, always makes sure that you're comfortable, noticing how the trip is taking a toll on you. For him, this isn't stressful at all- but you have a lot less energy than him to spend. So he's not surprised when he notices you trying to hide your yawns multiple times as soon as it gets dark outside, eyes growing heavy as you listen to the music played. 

"You are so bewitching, you know that?" Jungkook teases, causing you to force yourself more awake again, looking at him in question. "I can sense the... nature of the gazes on you." He offers, a hand moving some of your hair out of your face. 

"How fortunate for you that I'm not going home with any of them, then." You say, making him laugh openly. 

"You're very right on that." He agrees. "And I believe we should head back now." Jungkook says, making you shake your head though. 

"No, just a little longer." You complain, causing the king to chuckle. 

"You are literally on the very edge of sleep, darling." He teases. "And I do not feel comfortable with having you in such a vulnerable state outside the castle walls, in front of people who should not see you that way." He gently says, nodding towards Hoseok to gather all the guards and knights to prepare for the journey back home. And god, does the way home drag. 

You're barely able to somewhat make it back into the entrance hall of the large castle structure when Jungkook finally offers his help, carrying you up the stairs to the bedroom he shares with you. "You are so very fragile, my love." He teases you with a smile, helping you out of your jewelry and dress while you're almost falling asleep. "Did you enjoy it?" 

"I did." You smile. "It was.. really fun. Even though I didn't really know what to do most of the time.." You mumble while Jungkook unravels your dress to help you out of it. 

"You did great nonetheless." He reassures you, placing a kiss to your cheek. "You deserve to rest now." 

And rest you do- falling asleep before he can even come to bed himself. 

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The next day when you wake up and stretch your limbs, it's already way past the morning hours. A window is opened, letting in fresh air, familiar sharp crow sounds of the large predatory birds outside by now no longer a cause of fear for you. It's as if they've become familiar with you now- no longer trying to feast on you, instead only sometimes curiously poking their heads inside the room to observe you. 

"You slept for ages." Jungkook chuckles next to you, making you turn in surprise. Usually, the king is gone before you wake up- it's unusual to have him beside you like this, eyes still wary from his own rest. 

"It was a pretty eventful day yesterday." You defend yourself, and he nods, moving forward to kiss your lips. It's a gentle gesture, oddly slow, as if he's putting a lot of thought into it. "How come you're still in bed?" You ask, and he watches you for a moment, before he answers. 

"I've been thinking." He admits, head leaning on his palm, elbow pushed into the bed below. His upper body is bare as usual in bed- but it's still a rather rare sight for you considering you typically don't spend moments like these together often. "About us. And our.. differences." He hums, while your eyes notice the scars he has- one of them right on top of his shoulder. 

"Oh." You nod, unsure what he means. 

"These past few days.. even longer than that.. there's been tension, hasn't it?" He asks, reaching out to move some hair from your face. "Sexual in nature, that is." He explains further, and you nod, eyes no longer able to stand his gaze now as you become a bit shy. Of course he’s able to speak about it a lot more open and boldly than you ever would be able to. 

"I uhm.. yeah." You nod, remembering that moment you almost went that far- but he's never done anything further than playing around with you. "Is there.. a problem?" You ask, and he waits for a moment to answer. 

"I'm not sure." He admits. "I have spoken to Namjoon about our obvious differences. And if we could make it work." He tells you. "But I'm worried nonetheless. I don't want to hurt you- but I am also aware of your growing frustration with me." He offers. 

"I- its not like that!" You defend yourself immediately. "If you don't want to, you know, have sex with me, that's fine. I don't need it to be happy with you." You reassure him, and he smiles kindly. 

"I know." He nods. "But do trust me that my lust for you is very real, and unbearable these days." He admits. "Even right now." 

At that, you move, boldly so, seemingly catching even him off guard as he holds your waist, while you sit on his thighs. His gaze is heated, red in his eyes clearly telling you how much his control is challenged in this moment, as you place your hands on his abdomen. "Then what if you just trust me instead?" You wonder, while he watches you. "Give up control for once?" You ask. 

"And you believe you can control a king?" He asks, challenges almost, as he very obviously stirs to live inside his underwear. "Very bold words." He smiles, though his worry does not leave his eyes at all as it returns full force, face becoming serious again. 

"What's the problem?" You ask, feeling his hands run over your skin to your legs. "What are you so scared of?" You press, and he sighs. 

"Hurting you." He reveals. "Losing you." 

"Why would you lose me?" You ask, unsure. 

"Because humans connect love with physical intimacy." He says. "And so does my kind. It's an important part of a partnership, and if I fail at providing you with the appropriate attention you deserve, I fear that I'm not valuable enough as a lover to you." He admits. 

"Even if we can't have sex, I'll still stay with you." You shake your head, moving to sit next to him now, hand reaching out to hold his. "Love is more than just that to me. And I love you." You argue. "No matter your strength, or your status, or your worth. You've got worth to me no matter what." You confess. 

And at that confession, he breaks. 

The moment he sits up to lean closer to you to be able to kiss you with a hand on your cheek, you know that he won't stop this time. "You're so dangerous." He growls, hands uncaring of the fabric covering you as he pulls the gown over your head, revealing your almost entirely bare body to him.  

It's time, and he knows it. 

You've become much more to him than just a partner- you've become a lifeline, a reason to think over his challenges and dangers he faces in the choices he makes, just so he can stay alive and at your side. He would burn down the world for you, if it meant that it would keep you safe from all harm. 

His kisses are heated, desperate, quite literally stealing your breath as he moves to mouth and bite at the skin of your neck and shoulder. He's noticeably not a gentle lover- he wants to make sure that his love is visible on your skin, needs to see the remnants of his lust for days to come. And with his control finally snapping, he will not hold back- he will test your strength for a final time, and devour you whole. 

He wants to watch you bloom- wants to see your petals open to reveal the most beautiful flower created by simple chance on a planet so far away from his own. And yet, this flower was meant for him- to be kept forever, to have it plant it's roots into his heart so it can feed off his love until he dies and cannot provide any longer. 

Only then he will set you free again. Only then will he accept defeat. 

Your back arches into him as his hands adjust your position, laying you down once more beneath him, pulling off your underwear to reveal everything, soiled fabric thrown carelessly away. He's played around with you before, that's how far you've come at this point- but never quite past that. Something always kept him from giving you what you were yearning for- but this time, he's granting you your wish. 

When he met you, truly face to face, it had been nothing but pure curiosity. He wanted to see what's so special about the human kind that others have such drastically varying opinions on them. Why one seems to fear them, while the other hates them. 

He does neither. 

You're not a being he has to fear, neither physically nor emotionally.  

When you say you love him you mean it. When you're close to him you simply crave his company. When you ask him how he feels you're genuinely interested in his emotions. You've always been nothing but open and honest with him, had nothing to lose, and everything to gain. And yet even when given full freedom to do as you please and leave him if you wanted to, you stayed. Because you wanted to. 

No words are exchanged as he sheds his clothes as well, leaving both of you bare beneath the silk covers of the bed you two share. "Are you cold, darling?" He asks, whispers almost with how close he is, in a way that gives away his amusement over your squirming body underneath his hands. You shake your head. He grins. "No?" He asks for you to confirm, and you do. "And yet your body is trembling. I wonder why.." He hums over your skin. 

"Because you're torturing me!" You whine in complaint, turning to the side- something he does not approve of, as he grabs your hips to instead turn you over entirely, a strange tenderness in his rather rough manner of handling you into a new position. Like a predator warning, growling down your neck, but never slipping in his control, never actually making the kill. "You know, usually, this is how I'd take you.." He explains, and you push back into him at that, impatient, or maybe even quietly begging. You really don't care how he does it. Just that he does it. "..but I cannot. Not with you." He tells you, kissing the line of your spine from your neck down, before he lets you turn over once move to face him. 

"Why not?" You ask, and he simply smiles, hands running down your sides until they meet your hips. 

"Because I cannot see your face." He simply answers, before he leans over you to kiss you again. By now, it's evident that without even touching you, you're more than ready to take him on, body inviting him in every way it can- and this time, he can't hold back even if he wanted to. 

You've waited long enough. 

"And I want to savour this experience, and all that you'll offer me." He hums against your skin. "...as I claim you as mine for now and forever."

You're not used to.. sex being this big of a deal. But it's obvious to you that Jungkook sees this as more than just an act of simple lust and satisfaction, if the way he kisses down your chest to your belly button is anything to go by. He didn't lie when he said he'd savour it- he's going terribly slow.  

"Jungkook please... I want you.. " you beg, and he smirks like the predator he is, faking innocence.  

"Oh but you have me right here, my love?" He says, leaning his head on the bare skin of your hip for a second. "I'm not going anywhere." He teases.  

Well- that's the problem. 

"I want you to focus just on yourself." He suddenly says rather seriously. "No matter what." He adds, and you nod, unsure what he means by this. Satisfied by your answer however he moves back up, hovering over you while his hand feels you up between your legs. You're more than ready by now, inner thighs slick with your arousal, and it makes his already leaking length move a little at the feel of it all. Could you handle him if he really was to let go and chase his own pleasure?  

Will you handle him in any way at all?  

You're not her, and he reminds himself of that as he pushes himself inside your body, core warm and welcoming towards him despite the obvious stretch you have to go through to accommodate him. He's worried you might not be able to transform enough- but you surprise him, as you always do.  

Inch by inch he slowly claims your body, waiting for the sign to stop- but you seem rather eager to take him in, never showing signs of discomfort at all. In fact, you look rather pleased- eyes closed, head laid back into the soft pillows below, hands holding his. He can see the slight bulge forming on your lower stomach, showing faintly where he is, and it makes him lust for you in ways that make him worry he might be going feral.  

He's pressing himself against you now, wet sound escaping your cunt as he realizes there's nothing left of him to give you, your eyes hooded just like his as he slowly retracts himself, just to enter you again much faster than before.  

The gasp that leaves him can't be controlled. Neither do you hide your own reaction, mouth opening silently in pleasure as you arch your back.  

He wants to see it again, so he moves his hips once more, once more, steady pace, causing your body to rock along, chest swaying as if to hypnotize the king. There's no need for foul play like that however- he's already under your spell, no need for any kind of assistance.  

"Your body was truly made for me.." he whispers into your neck as he continues his pace, holding himself back from snapping, keeping your well-being in mind.  

"Please-" you whine breathlessly, and he eagerly leans in to kiss your neck, bite at it, mark you up for days to come.  

"What is it you want?" He asks just as faintly, never losing track of his pace.  

"Don't hold back." You say, eyes meeting his own. "Take me, my King."

"I'm yours."  

He can't help the way his patience snaps, thrusts now deeper than ever as he pushes himself as far as he can with every move of his hips, kisses heated, burning, forever imprinting his love on you as he presses his hands into the bed below you, pace quickening. "I'll make the entire kingdom know." He growls against your lips as his hips snap against yours I'm a ruthless manner. "I'll have them all hear you come undone under my hand, just so they know-" He presses out between clenched teeth. "That you're mine, and that I'm yours."  

Your legs move to wrap around his body as best as you can manage, your hands on his back as they accidentally scratch his skin faintly, his own hands grabbing roughly at your flesh to keep you still as he ruts into you, for the first time actually chasing his own release.  

He need to fill you up, have his seed forever mark you up with his scent until it spills out of you. He's desperate at the prospect of finally gaining fulfillment in a way he's not managed to achieve before- a kind of high currently blurring up his thoughts as he feels himself getting lost in the scent and taste and feeling of your body.  

You're a drug, and he's happily willingly getting addicted.  

Your legs suddenly quiver as you find your own peak way sooner than he does, and he doesn't mind one bit seeing you come undone beneath him like this. A goddess in his eyes, gracing him with a heavenly touch, as he slows down, and slips out to see your core gaping from the stretch, clenching around nothing.  

But you're not done with him, as he gets a taste of what you're capable of in the eyes of lust.  

Your hands pull his face back towards you, your kiss a siren song clouding his mind once more as he falls into your spell, chasing his own high like a man starving.  

And he is. He has been for way too long.  

The moment he actually reaches his end you move your hand between the both of you to help yourself to another high as well, clenching core making him groan out in pure pleasure as he spills his seed into you, much of it already leaking out your core as you lazily move to milk him for all he's got.  

His eyes have never looked so vibrant in color as he looks at you, visibly stunned.  

And as you smile, no trace of any sort of doubt or anything other than pure and passionate love, he realizes you've finally bloomed.  

Your bond falling into place, silently, as he kisses you once more.  

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"Come here, love." Jungkook says one day, as you walk into the throne room, nodding politely to Min Yoongi- who you know by now from the scar over his eye and rather withdrawn attitude. You're not sure why he's here- but if the King feels comfortable with his presence, you trust that he is no threat to you or him at all in this situation. Jungkook has got his back turned towards you for a good while, before he turns, something held in his arms covered by cloth and golden jewels. "It is a gift from him to you." He says, as you move the delicate cloth of whatever he's holding in his arms, satin with finely woven golden patterns.  

The small being opens its eyes slowly, before it raises its head- dog like creature visibly studying your face as Min Yoongi speaks.  

"It is a gift sent with the most well wishes from my betrothed." He clarifies, as the white dog like being moves his head to inspect your hand held out to him, it’s fur so short that it feels more like velvet than anything else.  You’re mesmerized by the puppy, before Yoongi looks almost annoyed. "...and it has also been.. Sent from me as well." he mumbles, as if he's forced to admit that part. "His name shall be for you to choose." 

Jungkook laughs to himself as he sets the small being down, the white and lanky body shaking before it sniffs at your legs, tail wagging wildly. The young puppy is obviously still rather unsteady on his long legs, but he appears to figure out quickly that you're his main person from now on.  

"Thank you." You tell the rather grumpy looking King with a smile, and you could swear he even returns it-  

somewhat.  

"He'll grow into a proper guard if well trained." Yoongi explains with his gaze set on Jungkook, who nods. "...That is not just a statement." He mumbles, and Jungkook rolls his eyes.  

"I am aware." He bites back, and you can't help but smile at their brotherly bantering, long having gotten used to their more rough way of speaking to one another. Just like you've grown used to a lot of things on this planet-  

after all, you consider this home by now.  

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"Etka!" You call, as the dog like being runs on fast legs towards you, broad collar decorated with gems as he finds his place next to you, eagerly accepting your praise and affection.  

He's grown a lot these past few months- almost to full height, according to Jungkook. The haatra has his place in front of your shared quarters where he sleeps every night, guarding you both at your most vulnerable states.  

"Min Yoongi has invited us to the showing ceremony of his to-be queen." Jungkook says as you enter the bedroom after saying goodnight to your newest guardian outside the bedroom door.  

"I'm happy for him." You say, joining him to sit on his lap at the table near the window. "He sounded very happy last time we spoke."  

"He did not sound any different than usual to me, love." He shakes his head a little, before he leans in to kiss you. "But enough about him.. I have a different thing I'd like to indulge in than chatter about my brother." He offers you, who teasingly leans away from him, eyes falling to his lips.  

"Oh? I wonder what that might be.." you mumble, as he adjusts your position a bit, hands shamelessly traveling beneath your gown to feel the warmth of your skin. 

"Something that has no need for talking at all.." he hums against your lips, eyes hungry as he lusts for you with clear intentions.  

"And yet you surely won't be quiet." 

[yo-yo-yeonkai]

MY BABY - KANG TAEHYUN - SFW

Taehyun x reader

Genre: fluff

Warning list: established relationship! difficult sleeping, joking mention of drugs, pet names ( baby, sweetheart, Tae, Tyunie)

Word count: 800

Summary: If you can’t sleep… what cures it better than a night drive. Taehyun knows how to take care of you better than you do!

Authors note: yes I was struggling to sleep… when did I start writing it? 1:20 ish… I released it at 2:05… I should sleep now…..

Long nights blended into endless days; you couldn't quite tell what was what anymore. When did a new day begin? Waking up to the sun couldn’t tell you, because you didn’t sleep. The only thing that told you was your boyfriend kissing you each morning to say “good morning Sweetheart”. When was the last time you slept properly? You aren't entirely sure...

Normally you can spend whole nights laying in bed: thinking, reading, gaming, you name it. And NORMALLY, your boyfriend doesn’t even shift at the sound. He’d just lay there, still like a statue. Ahhh the beauty of sleep.

The only problem is, tonight, as you are endlessly rolling around your side of the bed, you wake your boyfriend. His hand reaches your waist, and he pulls you towards his chest. "What's wrong?" He asks, tone raw and deep from having just woke up. Your heart thuds at the sound... you'd ruined his sleep.

"Nothing... I just can't sleep. Go back to sleep Tae" you whisper to him, patting his chest, hoping he will just give up and drift back to dream land. Being the stubborn, yet caring, man he is, he doesn't. In fact, he begins playing with your hair, twirling it in his fingers as he forces his eyes open to look at you.

"Talk to me baby... what's keeping you up?". You sighed at his words... you didn't have answer. If only it were that easy. If you could figure out what was keeping you up, you'd be asleep by now. Your lack of response told him all he needed to know "do you want me to drug you to sleep" he teased, making your eyes widen as you laugh. Taehyun's jokes were always at two ends of a scale: out of pocket and crazy, or sweet and adorable, but he was always funny either way.

"No thank you Tyunie, nice try tho" you giggle, sticking your tongue out at him. He smiles at the sound and brushes your hair with his fingers, fixing the knots he accidentally twirled into your hair. "Suit yourself. May I interest you in a glass of warm milk?" He offered. You shake your head "no, you can Interest me in you going back to sleep". He shook his head at that and moved to get out of bed.

Throwing back the covers, a rough chill reaches your skin and you suddenly wish you’d just accepted his hugs. He threw a jumper over his head and gave one to you as well. What was he planning? "Well if I can't interest you in any of those options... which honestly, were some good options…... Then we will go on a drive". You deadpanned him as you put on his hoodie, getting out of bed and following him to the door to get your shoes on. "Seriously? What am I... a baby?" You huff, stropping much like a baby you claimed not to be. How ironic…

"That's exactly what you are! Now get in the car and just relax... please do that" he told you, pushing you out the door and towards the car. You groan as you get into the passenger seat. Seriously? This is what adults do with their children so they will sleep. Why was he trying this with you? Is he crazy?

"What do you want to listen to sweetheart?" He asked, handing you his phone so you could put some music on. What was the stupidest and loudest song you could put on? You jokingly pick the complete opposite of a sleepy song and play "guerrilla, by ATEEZ".

Taehyun sighs at you but let's you play whatever you want, he knows it won't be long anyways. He recons you’ll be out like a light in 10 minutes max.

Eventually you play some calming music and you both enjoy the vibe of him driving around. As you watch the view from the window blur into streaks of colour, at the speed you travelled, you felt it. The slip of your eyelids involuntarily trying to close. You wanted to fight it for a bit longer to prove to Taehyun that you weren't a child, but ultimately you couldn't stop it.

The sweet sound of Taehyun singing along to songs so gently and beautifully lulled you into a peaceful sleep. When he looked over and saw the sight, he instantly slid the volume down. Now you were asleep he could take you both home and to bed. And you tried to say you weren't a baby? He thought you were the cutest little thing ever, and you were all Taehyun's....

He was willing to take you on night drives, so you'd sleep if it meant you'd be healthy and happy.

Anything for his baby <3

[ashestoroses018]

Lost & Found

Slight Steve Harrington/Reader

Summary - You're F/N Henderson, or N/N for short. Your rabbit goes missing. Steve and the Original Party(tm) help you find her.

“Dustin! Where's Pepper?” you call through the house, looking for your pet bunny.

“I-I have no idea where she is, N/N.”

You run your hair through your unruly curls, annoyed that your brother has no idea where your beloved rabbit is. “I can't go out until I know she's safe, Dusty. Especially after Mews disappeared a few months ago. I don't want that to happen to my baby.”

Dustin walks up to you and pats your shoulder lightly. “I'll help you look for her until Steve gets here, okay?”

“You and Harrington are getting awfully chummy, huh, Dusty?”

Your brother nods, his curls bouncing. “He's really badass--”

“Language, Dusty.”

“--Sorry. He's really cool. I used to think he was a jerk, but he's actually really nice.”

“Well, maybe Mr. Nice Guy can help find Pepper when he gets here.”

“But we were gonna play DnD here with the guys.”

“Steve Harrington plays DnD, Dustin? Seriously? You know we don't lie in this house.”

Dustin's voice gets a whiny tone to it. “ He's not gonna play. Steve's just babysitting, because you and Mom are out tonight. Or at least you're supposed to be.”

“What kind of eighth grader needs a babysitter, Dustin?”

“Look, Steve's my friend, okay?”

You sigh. Ever since your dad passed away, Dustin has had a sincere lack of any real male figure in his life. For a while, now, he has leaned on his science teacher a bit much. Maybe Steve Harrington is a good alternative.

“Yeah, okay. Maybe I'll stay in tonight.”

“Oh my God, don't threaten me like that, N/N!”

Your face falls. “I wasn't threatening. I thought it might be fun. You used to want me to play Dungeons and Dragons with you guys.”

“But you're gonna make me look so uncool in front of Steve!”

“What's uncool about me?!”

“Have you seen the way you dress, N/N? You dress like you just stepped out of 1975. It's 1985, and you're a high school senior. Not a mom!”

“Wow, okay. Hurtful.” You're only slightly joking. His words had hit a little bit harshly. Are you really that uncool?

“I-I'm sorry, N/N. I didn't mean that. I'm just...you're you, and Steve is Steve. He's a really cool friend to have, and I really don't want to lose him for any reason, you know?”

“Fine, whatever. As soon as I find Pepper, I'll be out of your hair, okay Dusty? Then you won't have to worry about me embarrassing you.” You stick your tongue out at your baby brother (you can't call him your little brother, anymore, because he shot up by nearly a foot during Christmas break!).

“Just in case he shows up, can you, like, put your hair up or something?”

“Why, what's wrong with my hair?” you ask, a tone of warning laced through your voice.

“Nothing...I just think you look really pretty when your hair is up, with some of your curls around your face.”

A grin lights up your face at your brother's sweet words. “You're such a little charmer. You're gonna be a heartbreaker, Dustin Allen* Henderson, you know that?”

Ruining the sweet moment, your brother does his infamous growl. “Dammit, Dusty. I take it back. You need to quit that shit. Anyway, can you go look under the couches and stuff while I put up my hair?”

Your brother nods, so you head off to the bathroom you share with your mother and sit down at your shared vanity. Maybe you can even wear a little bit of makeup. Actually...you know what? If your brother is so convinced you dress for the wrong decade, you're going to prove him wrong, dammit.

After you've brushed your hair into a quick ponytail, carefully leaving some curls around your face, as Dustin suggested, you run to your bedroom and pick out the trendiest clothes you own. They just so happen to be overalls that you choose to pair with a thin, brown belt, and a nicely fitting white crop top. Scrunching your face, you also elect to wear some bright pink hoops, because, God dammit, you are a trendy 18 year old young lady, not a mom .

Bringing the clothes to your bathroom, you quickly change into them and put on some light makeup. You double-check your hair and makeup, making sure your appearance works well.

“N/N! Where are you? The guys and Steve are here! You can leave.”

You roll your eyes and head to the living room. “Thing is, dipshit, I can't leave without knowing where Pepper is. Have you found her, yet?” When you walk into the living room, you're met with stunned silence and wide eyes from all the males in the room.

“What the hell are you wearing, F/N?” It's rare that your brother uses your actual name, so he must really be shocked.

“Well, you told me that I dress like a loser, so I decided to actually dress up for once.”

“Aren't you just going to the library to study?”

You shrug. “Who says I can't dress up to go study, shitbag? Hey, guys. No girls tonight?”

Mike shakes his head. “Jane is... studying with Hopper, and Max got grounded for getting detention.”

“Um, you could...study here, keep me company while these losers play Dragons and Dungeons,” says the Steve Harrington, looking at you with an indecipherable expression.

“Dustin said I'm not cool enough for you guys, though,” you say, sticking your tongue out teasingly at your brother.

“Oh my God, N/N, this is why!” Your brother's face is turning bright red, and you can't help but laugh at him. However, you're quickly brought back to reality.

“Actually, I can't do anything until I find my rabbit. Boys, have you seen Pepper?”

The kids respond with a chorus of nos and shaking heads. You sigh, feeling deflated. What if she got crushed under a piece of furniture, or something? You knew you should have replaced her cage, instead of letting her get away with a loose cage door.

Steve looks up, suddenly. “What does, uh, Pepper look like?”

“She's white, with brown patches. Floppy ears. 'Bout this big.” You hold your hand out a few inches.

“Oh shit! Yeah I saw a rabbit like that!”

“Seriously? You're a lifesaver, Steve! Where did you see her?”

“She was hopping around in your front yard. Um...she ran away when I drove up, though.”

You bite your lip, trying to hold back tears. “Domestic rabbits can't survive in the wild. I've gotta go find her!”

Without waiting for a response from anyone, you slip your sneakers on and grab your coat, bracing for the early February weather. Luckily, there hasn't been much snow, so you don't have to worry about your baby being camouflaged by it.

Clicking your tongue in a sound you know she'll recognize, you begin slowly traversing your front yard. Come on, Pepper , you think. Where are you?

“Want some help?” someone suddenly asks you, tapping on your shoulder lightly.

You turn around, only to see four boys staring at you sheepishly, Steve standing behind them, looking almost...smug. If you were to hazard a guess, you would be willing to bet your limited money from working at Burger Bob's that Steve Harrington had put them up to this.

“Yeah, I'd like that. Thank you, guys. You remember what she looks like?” Your brother's friends nod in unison, wandering off.

After a moment, you turn to your classmate. “Thank you for putting them up to this. I'm not sure how you managed to pull them away from DnD, but I appreciate it, Steve.”

The boy flushes – whether from the cold or your words, you can't be sure – as he runs a hand through his absolutely perfect hair. “Don't mention it. You looked really sad, F/N – “

“N/N,” you say gently, correcting him.

He coughs quietly. “N/N. Anyway, I just wanted to be able to help, and I can't leave those kids unsupervised. Mrs. Byers would kick my ass.”

You nod. “Yeah, she's super overprotective of Will, these days. Thanks again, Steve. I'm gonna go keep looking.”

“Sure. I will, too.” He smiles gently down at you.

Twenty minutes later, Steve comes running up to you, a squirming bundle in his arms. You run to meet him, taking the rabbit out of his arms, tears springing to your eyes.

“Oh...Oh my goodness. Steve. Where'd you find her?” Before you can answer, you whisper comforting words to your rabbit. A moment later, you look up to see his bewildered face. “Steve Harrington, I could kiss you right now. You just saved my rabbit's life. You're literally my favorite person in the world, right now.”

[bluemidnightmelody]

lover/fighter - my favorite moments

[Little snippets from my Finnick/OC longfic that are stuck in my head]

From Chapter 43 - My crying hero

Finnick licks his lips and sighs softly before facing the icy sea of her eyes. "It's not quite over, but for us it is," he explains. It is both doom and salvation. He constantly longs for it to finally be over, but the end always means defeat in a way, a failure for him.

"Oh no, I'm so sorry." Rhea suddenly seems to forget her own worries and all that remains is sympathy. Even if his wording was more than vague, it can only be interpreted in one way. Hector has died. If she was feeling better, she should have realized it sooner, because if he was still a mentor, he wouldn't be here, he would be fulfilling his duties.

"Yes, me too," he replies weakly. It came as such a surprise after he'd spent the last three days preoccupied with nothing but Hector. Of course, he always takes his task seriously, but this time the fact that he needed to somehow distract himself from Rhea was also a factor. To stop his thoughts from running amok in his head, he poured all his energy into Hector and convinced himself more than ever that he would get the boy out of the arena alive. It all looked good until the wind suddenly changed.

"It only happened just now, and I couldn't bear to go back. Then somehow I ended up here." He has to turn his head away as his self-control threatens to go. Saying it out loud makes it so much worse, plus the overwhelming exhaustion and still very fresh emotional stress from the service he's done for Ambrose.

The only person who has seen him cry in years is Mags, but that could be about to change as his eyes are already getting moist. Even in front of Annie he pulls himself together, because there's no way she needs to see him like this, but at home in District 4 it's usually easier than here.

Otherwise, he manages to escape into some dark corner, at least for such weak moments. Now he has neither the opportunity nor the strength to run away while Rhea pulls him close this time. The result is that they are now sitting intertwined on the sofa, with her half-sitting on his lap, hugging him to her chest and gently running her fingers through the soft hair above his neck as he is wrapped around her, both to keep her from falling off and to keep himself grounded.

"It's not your fault," she whispers somewhere near his ear. She doesn't need to know what's really going on in his head, because the guilt he's radiating is almost palpable. Somewhere in the back of her mind is the question of where exactly he came from when he says he didn't want to go back. What could have prompted him to leave the Victory Building despite the mentoring, especially while Hector's situation is uncertain? The answer is pretty obvious and only makes it worse.

Finnick can just about hold back the emotional outburst but balances on the very edge of a ledge. He feels his fluttering breath, which he can't calm, and stammers with difficulty, "But it kind of is." His tribute needed him, and he wasn't there.

Rhea bites her lip, and she feels the trembling in his back as she strokes it gently in an attempt to calm him. The worst state she has seen him in so far was when she had to rescue him from that nightclub, but tonight probably supersedes that memory. When she reviews it all again, it's actually amazing how often she's seen him in such weak and vulnerable moments, but he's never been as close to her as he is now. It's not that she felt any less sorry for him back then, it's just different now.

Now and here, she has to admit to herself once and for all that there is nothing professional about this relationship anymore. There is not a shred of distance left, which is proven by the fact that Finnick is now emotionally closer to her than any of her friends. That doesn't mean they're any less important to her, it's just not the same.

"No. It isn't. You tried to save them and if you couldn't, no one else could have," she replies with honest conviction. Anyone would be lucky to have him as a mentor, as distorted as that may be, because she knows by now that there's probably nothing he wouldn't do to fulfill this task. She may not like it, but it is a fact that he will never be able to blame himself for not living up to his responsibilities.

"You are amazing. You have no idea how much."

They have already strayed so far from the path of a healthy relationship between doctor and patient that it makes no sense to hold on to it any longer. She'll happily leave the field entirely to Linus because, if she's honest, he's probably already doing most of her job as far as Finnick is concerned. It's certainly better this way, because otherwise it could all go in an unpleasant direction very quickly. On paper, everything can remain as it is, but the simple truth is that this has become something thoroughly personal and there's no point in trying to put any useless labels on it. There is no definition and therefore no standard procedure or behavioral protocol to follow or hold them back.

Finnick slowly understands what has actually brought him here. Getting the comfort he craves feels good and there seems nothing wrong with burying his face in her soft sweater. It's nice to be treated so tenderly, the way she plays with his hair, just the way he likes it, the way she smells so sweetly of vanilla, just like her whole home. "At the risk of coming across as conceited, can you please say that again?"

It doesn't sound the slightest bit conceited. It just sounds like someone who desperately needs some words of encouragement to avoid succumbing to the feeling of worthlessness that haunts them. She used to sound like that herself, and probably still does from time to time. "You're amazing, and trustworthy, and selfless, and anyone who thinks you wouldn't have done everything for this is an idiot," she says openly, and with enough emphasis to make it clear that these are not just empty words. "That also includes you, by the way. So, if you don't trust yourself, then believe me. I promised not to lie, and I know you've really done absolutely everything." And she comforts herself with the fact that it's really not a lie, even if she doesn't dare to speak the whole truth.

He has done truly everything, even if it means throwing away his own self-esteem for it. It's admirable in the most horrible way, what he willingly sacrifices for a game he knows no one can ever win. He deserves so much better than what this life is forcing on him.

She can feel it on her shoulder even before she hears it in his voice. Finnick has lost the battle with himself and can't stop the tears dampening the fabric of her sweater. "You're not so bad at this anymore," he replies, even if he has trouble getting the words out because of the lump in his throat.

Rhea remembers the conversation in District 4 when she told him how bad she was at comforting people. The truth is that it depends on the reason why someone feels bad. She's actually very empathetic, it's just that when it comes to topics where her eloquence fails, she sometimes looks a bit lost. But it is much more significant that he still remembers this. She doesn't realize it for the first time, but he seems to remember everything she's ever said to him, and she likes it when people can listen, really listen. "Yeah, and I don't know if you can tell, but I'm not even at my best right now," she remarks in an attempt to lighten the mood. He's usually so good at it, but today she has to take it from him.

It actually elicits a small laugh from Finnick, even if it almost sounds like a sob. "You've been practicing in secret, haven't you?" he asks, and you can detect the tiniest bit of amusement in his voice beneath the heavy layers of sadness, but that's enough for now.

"Just for you. You can feel honored," she counters the assertion with a light laugh. She can laugh again, she feels so much better, even though tears are now welling up in her eyes as well. It's so easy to make her cry at the moment, but this time she's not even sure if she's crying because she's sad or if something else has triggered it. What does it really matter?

Links to all the chapters: lover/fighter - Chapter Index

fanfiction on ao3 and wattpad

[masterwords]

falling away from me

Summary: A re-imagining of the immediate aftermath of 5x09 - 100 with Hotch/Morgan and some hospital times and an IA hearing that isn't absolute cruelty.

Pairing: Hotch/Morgan

Warnings: hospital, injuries, grief...this is the aftermath of "100" so you know it's not a pleasure cruise

Words: 5.6k

Notes: HEY! It's my birthday today, and I decided to be super selfish and write something completely self-indulgent...up to and including naming the Director of the FBI Skinner in honor of my love for X-Files. (Hopefully you didn't have to see the first version of this where I posted the WRONG DRAFT but it's fixed now and I'm a moron. Moving on!)

**

It's funny how quickly a day can get away from you.

Not funny ha ha, no not quite like that. Just...funny. In a different way. When you look back.

But when you're in it...

“You look like hell,” the nurse says, tucking the nasal canal back into place after the third or fourth time he's pulled it loose. He doesn't want it, doesn't think he needs it, but the doctor's orders are all she has to go by and this guy...well he's a wreck. She's not going to chance it. It barely fits up his nose, she's not even sure it helps. This guy's nose is broken in at least two different places, it is a swollen mess of cartilage and tissue that she imagines used to be regal at one point...but now he's breathing through his mouth. Still she sets it back in place and glares at him seriously. Thinks she can intimidate him.

It almost works.

“When can I leave?”

“Let me check on that, okay huh? Keep this in for me please.”

He will. For now. He's too tired, and his shoulders ache. He can't lift his arms again, so he tries to lay there and relax. His mind drifts back to the morning, the moment his alarm went off...he'd already sort of been awake, like always, but the sound of the alarm pulled his eyes open.

Aaron can remember plenty of days he woke up drenched in sweat, the ache of dread in his belly before he even knew what the day would hold. He can place them all by the timid way he went about his business, readying himself for an unpredictable day where the only certainty...or so he thought...was that it would be bad. And sometimes that premonition was right, but usually it was wrong. Mildly correct, maybe, if he wanted to stretch. Every day had its low point after all.

But as he lays in the hospital bed contemplating what possible reason they could have for the nasal canal when his nose barely works at all, he can't remember any remarkable feeling from this morning. Nothing that felt any different than any other day. His alarm went off like always, and he planted both feet flat on the floor. It always takes him a minute now to be ready to stand, his stomach is always sore, always just a little stiff and weak and painful in the morning. It's when he's reminded with the most clarity that he's not well. So he sits there a minute to let his body adjust to being awake. Every day he wakes a little further away from Foyet's attack, but the dawn always reminds him that he has a long way to go no matter how he pretends that he's healed.

Everyone else believes it.

And the minute that movement was granted, he dove into routine. A shower, a shave, plain oatmeal with his coffee. No strange feelings, just the sun creeping through his drawn shades as usual. It always came in the same dashes of faded yellow and gold, dust dancing a ballet in the bright spaces.

He took the train to work. Tonight, if everything went according to plan, would be date night, and on date night he takes the train to work because it's more inconspicuous that way when he goes to Derek's instead of home. In case anyone thought to look. Knowing the people he kept closest, they would. Derek would ride his motorcycle to work on these days and pick him up from a station about halfway there sometime after he'd had a chance to order them each a coffee.

He's not even sure it's a secret anymore, but there is a certain thrill that drives this weekly performance and it makes him feel enough good excitement that he doesn't question the actual need for it.

Routine. Aaron likes routine. He knows it's bad, knows damn well it's bad...in his line of work, especially. More than likely his routine allowed Foyet to find a way into his home and into his life, but he can't just throw caution to the wind and live every single day spontaneously. His life, and more importantly his mind, just isn't designed that way. He can't function without routine. It's the only thing that keeps him here some days.

He blinks and wonders at what point his day went from ordinary to nightmare. There is a lot of blank space in his memory bank between the journal with Carl Arnold and US Marshal Sam Kassmeyer bleeding to death in his living room.

A scene Aaron is a little too familiar with. He remembers looking at Sam and feeling sick, it's beyond empathy...he doesn't just feel it, he knows. He knows exactly. Sam says he doesn't know how Foyet got in, and Aaron knows. He knows. He has four locks on his door now, and an alarm system, because he knows. He never has figured out that riddle and it haunts him every single night.

There is more blank space between the ambulance with Sam and his own hours later.

His mind slows to a crawl around Sam, his missing fingers, his bleeding and swollen features. It's pure horror. Wes Craven would be hard pressed to create something worse that could live in his mind. He sees Sam's ruined hand, bloody and swollen around a glass of beer and a quiet cheers from beyond the veil. “To you and your family,” he seems to say through his ruined pulpy lips. “You'll join me soon won't you?”

It's a hallucination. He knows that, but it's so real, just Sam sitting there in a squeaky vinyl hospital chair bleeding and drinking his foamy beer in the corner beneath the wall mounted television. And then Foyet appears beside him grinning that wicked grin and the heart monitor begins panicking, screaming. “Not real,” he whispers to himself, flexing his bruised and swollen hands. A reminder. His joints are stiff and hurt badly enough that he almost cries out at the sudden movement, but it reminds him of what happened. At least part of it. His hands were broken on Foyet's face. “Not real.” He calms himself just before the nurse enters his room to check for disturbances. This isn't the first time, and she gives him that look that says he needs to calm down.

“Are you sure you wouldn't like something to help you relax?” she asks, though she is glad to see he hasn't taken the canal out again. He's improving. But this isn't the first time she's offered him a sedative. Or even the second. He chews on it for a moment and finally agrees. If whatever she wants to push into his IV will stop him from seeing Sam and Foyet there staring at him, well maybe it's worth it.

“I'll get a doctor to order something just to take the edge off.” He knows what that means, they're going to knock him out. “It sounds like you could be here a while yet. Sleep might help the time pass a little faster.”

While he waits, he's alone with all of these thoughts and the paper thin blanket and the judgmental machines keeping track of all of his vital signs. He toys with the pulse ox on his finger, pressing his finger further in and then sliding it out just enough that it kept reading. He's already learned his lesson there. Slide it out too far and the damn thing screams for a nurse. He doesn't want that lecture again. He's just...restless.

And alone. Lonely. Those are not mutually exclusive, and he's acutely aware of how different they both feel when piled on top of one another.

“I'm fine,” he keeps saying when they ask him how he's feeling. He mumbles it through swollen lips, his jaw stiff, blood crusted in Rorschach designs all over his face, forcing his already unruly hair up into chaotic spikes. One eye has nearly swollen closed, the other doesn't seem far behind, and his nose is definitely broken, he can barely breathe through it. The canal doesn't help. “I need to see my son.”

“Sir, you need to lie back down.”

The worst part is, he's all talk. He really can't do much more than lie down, that's the real joke of it all. He's adamant that he should be let go and yet every minute that ticks by his body settles further and further into a complete state of disarray. He's miserable. They did some x-rays and said some troubling things about his ribs and his tailbone, there is a lot of concern about internal bleeding (given his medical history they keep saying like he's not right there watching them look through his file with horror or pity marring their features)...he knows he's where he should be, but he can't think about anything except Jack. Before they bring him a sedative, he sees Haley join Sam and Foyet in the corner of his room and feels the sting of tears in his eyes. “No,” he whispers and the nurse, pushing tube connectors into place glances down at him like he'd been talking to her. She realizes quickly that he's staring into empty space, into nothing, and continues her task. He'll be asleep in no time, poor thing.

“I need to make a call,” he mumbles before his head lolls to the side and his eyes close. He's trying to fight the cold push of drugs in his vein, there's just no way. It trickles shards of ice, pushes them upstream from the back of his bruised hand through his arm and disperses them from there. He's powerless to stop it. “Please. I need to make a call.” He needs to call Jessica. He tries to say her name, but it doesn't come out. In fact nothing is really coming out right. The nurse tucks his blanket up a little higher to stave off a chill. He's shivering.

She runs into Derek on her way out, he looks like he's in a hurry and she reaches her hand up to slow him down just a touch. “You're here for Mr. Hotchner?”

“Yeah. SSA Derek Morgan, I'm his proxy.” He pauses and remembers to smile, a sweet gesture in trying times. “Is it okay if I go in there?”

“We've just given him a mild sedative, he's been very agitated tonight. He'll probably be asleep for some time but you're welcome to sit with him.”

Derek wonders how much she knows about why he's there, thinks her use of the word agitated is interesting. Yeah, you'd be agitated too if you were in his shoes.

“Hey,” he says as he enters the room, dimming the lights automatically. He watches Aaron blink slowly in his direction without really seeing him. He's not there, not really. Asleep and awake in some liminal space, some dreamland that doesn't look very inviting if the pinched look on his face is anything to go by.

“...look terrible...” Aaron drawls thick and syrupy. His backwoods Virginia accent slips out when the stars align, when the universe wills it, when he's drugged and tired and off his rocker a little. Every wall he's ever built has crumbled around him today. Every safety net, every shield, it's all been tested and failed in one fell swoop. He's raw and bloody and broken. Derek wonders how Aaron even gets up and walks out of here, but he's going to ignore that thought for the time being and choose to believe it's possible. As a test of that faith, Derek forces a smile for his benefit.

“You're still gorgeous,” Derek replies, standing beside the bed, brushing one finger along Aaron's cheek. It's true. Even with his hair matted in bloody spikes and his face swollen and patchy, even with bruises painting deep watercolor pools over skin that was once flawless, with deep purple and black crescent puddles beneath his eyes, he's gorgeous.

Aaron shakes his head, just slightly, side to side. It's painful so he only does it once but it gets the point across.

“...no you...terrible...”

“Oh. I look terrible? Thanks. I'm gone all day and this is the reception I get when I finally get here?”

He knows. He does look terrible.

“...tired...” Aaron whispers thick and sad. He licks his lips and winces at the movement in his jaw. “...sad...” God he looks so sad, Aaron thinks through his medicated fog. “...why?” There are bags under his eyes. Derek never has bags under his eyes. Most of the day is a blur, but he knows that everything scattered across Derek's features is his fault. In some dim way, he can't touch it but he feels it. Those damn blank spaces.

“Go to sleep, baby,” Derek says, pushing the bloody matted hair back from Aaron's forehead and pressing a kiss dead center, warm and soft and a little too long. “I got nowhere else to be but here. With any luck, I'll look even worse when you wake up from your beauty sleep.”

(x)

“Can I have a minute with him, doc?” Derek asks quietly, and the doctor nods. They've been there for hours, and Aaron never did really sleep. The sedative was only strong enough to make him slow, barely lucid, but never actually asleep. It wasn't really helping. More tests had come back and the doctor was hovering, waiting for him to be awake enough to share information. But he just keeps blinking long and slow and sad, and Derek figures they can give him a break. Another trip around the clock won't hurt.

“I'll come back in an hour with the last of the results and we'll see about discharge.”

“Thanks, man.”

Derek had been pacing while the doctor tried to get Aaron's attention, but now he's back by the side of the bed. He sits down, scooting Aaron's legs over just enough to give himself room, and stares at him. Long and hard, he looks and he can't find it in him to smile this time. As much as he'd like to. Just force that megawatt smile and tell him everything is fine and they'd be going home soon and life would go on.

Well, life is going to go on. Of that he's certain, but not the way they thought it would hours ago. Tonight was supposed to be date night, he reminds himself. And now he's staring into the face of a man who has lost everything that he'd built his life on. Sure, he's been divorced for years, but he still had Haley. He still knew her and could talk to her and since their divorce they'd managed to find some reasonable common ground. They claimed it was for Jack, but it was good for them too.

And now he's suddenly been thrust into single fatherhood without any warning, any preparation. Not only that, but it happened in the most violent way Derek could imagine, and that violence was going to leave a lasting mark on their family forever. It hit too close to home. He had watched his father bleed out on a city sidewalk and now he's right back there, staring into his own mother's haunting, devastated eyes as he looks at Aaron now.

“How are you doing?” he asks, knowing how crazy it must sound. But he really doesn't know what to think. How to feel. He's fumbling around in the dark here. All he knows is that Aaron looks awake, thoughtful, he's not blinking as slowly. He's aware of his surroundings in spite of the medication and the concussion.

“I want to leave.” That's the simple truth. He doesn't know how he is, but that hardly seems important. He just wants to go home, or go somewhere that isn't here. “Where is Jack?”

“He's with Jessica and her parents. They thought it best he stay with them tonight...the shock of seeing you like this might be too much for him after what happened. I didn't think I should argue with her.”

Aaron nods. He hates it but it makes sense to him even through his soupy mess of spilled thoughts. And truthfully, arguing with Jess is a lost cause. “Can I talk to him? Can you call them?”

“It's late, baby. It's midnight. They're probably all in bed. We'll call in the morning and make some plans okay?”

Derek is being as patient and as caring as he can be, but he's tired. He's exhausted and not sure he's got much gas left in the tank.

Aaron stares. And blinks, like he's putting together puzzle pieces in his mind. “Midnight?” he asks, like that was the only part that registered. Midnight. How in the hell is it midnight? When the ambulance sped away from his little suburban nightmare the sun was still high in the sky.

“Yeah.” Derek can't explain to him where the time has gone, not really. He's not sure himself. He was trapped in that house for hours, minute after minute, hour melting into hour until they were nothing but a murky congealed mess. “I know. But I think they're gonna cut you loose soon. We'll get the heck outta here, maybe eat something, get some shut eye and...” And what? It'll all be okay in the morning? He can't say that. “We'll call Jess as soon as we get up.”

Soon ends up being another hour, which feels more like a lifetime and the blink of an eye all twisted up like a candy cane. An endless barber pole spinning spinning, colors whirling, hours twirling but never really going anywhere. Derek was lulled into a sense of almost well-being while they waited, a fact that never ceases to amaze him when he thinks about it later. Hospitals did that. When a steady stream of people come in to make sure you're okay, you start to feel a little invincible.

“I met Haley in my junior year of high school,” Aaron drawls with his eyes closed. The lights have started to bother him as they back him off of the meds in preparation for discharge. His concussion is one for the record books from the sounds of it. They're going to have a hell of a time managing it, Derk can already tell. He reaches out and plays with Aaron's hair while he talks, twists his fingers in it, scrapes his nails against scalp, tries to soothe him. It's a waiting game. Aaron's long buried Southern drawl is seeping slow like muddy river water on a hot summer day into every third or fourth word. Derek can almost feel crawdads and fly fishing and mud between his toes. “She was a sophomore. Derek...she was the prettiest girl in the whole school...”

“Yeah. I bet she was,” he replies quietly, wrapping both hands around one of Aaron's. He's so cold, his skin so tight and swollen around broken knuckles but somehow he feels ice cold even still.

“She had a boyfriend, of course. Nathan Fisher. His dad ran a bar, he would let us sneak in sometimes on slow nights to get sodas and play pool. He had this bar tender on Wednesdays who would pour us the worst beer, it was always warm and too foamy but it made us feel pretty cool. Nathan was a good guy. I just wanted to be around her, y'know?” That drawl began deepening as he spoke, as he drifted in and out of what looked like a teary reverie bashed with the violence of the present. “Just wanted to be near her.”

“Did she like you?”

“She didn't even know I was alive until I made a fool of myself in the theater production...guess she felt sorry for me after...but eventually she loved me.” Aaron stops, crafting a thoughtful pause, and Derek smiles in anticipation. “I think.”

His heart sinks. That's not what he'd expected. He knows damn well it's not true. “Nahhh, man, she loved you. Don't go there.”

“And Jessica,” he continues, like Derek never even spoke. “She hated me. We were in debate together. When she found out I was dating her sister...” his voice trailed off, lost in the ghost of a smile. “I love her.”

“I know.”

“She hates me now.”

“Alright man, you're gettin' a little silly on those meds. You gotta give it a rest okay? Haley loved you, and Jessica sure as shit doesn't hate you. She might be upset about what happened to her sister, and she's right to be, but no way she hates you for it.”

Her parents, on the other hand, Derek knows they don't share that sentiment. They were...well they'd already made angry phone calls to him about all sorts of things he would rather die than talk to Aaron about. They didn't know he and Aaron were together, but they sure as hell knew he was the Unit Chief and held both he and Aaron responsible for what happened to their daughter.

Well, Derek figures, get in line. The two men in this hospital bed don't need help in the guilt department. They're threatening to take the FBI to court and he won't stand in their way. IA has already requested a hearing ASAP to go over everything between Foyet's attack on Hotch to now with a fine tooth comb, and they aren't willing to give Aaron a pass on it. The whole team is under investigation.

(x)

Home. Derek's home, because Aaron's apartment won't do, not tonight. The last thing he needs to see is that apartment. Instead, they're met with Clooney bumping into their legs, his long tail thrashing against their shins as he beckons them inside and begs them to sit on the couch. His favorite place to hop up into their laps...Derek has been gone longer than usual and he's clearly a little extra clingy.

He can sense something off in Hotch, he walks with his side pressed against Hotch's leg the entire distance from the doorway to the couch.

The mainline of meds right into Aaron's veins had ended over an hour prior and the pain hit him like a ton of bricks. There is no hope of sleep, not yet, not like this, Derek realizes. He isn't even sure he could do it anyway, so he decides to cook instead. He hasn't eaten anything all day and this was, still, technically date night. Sort of. Maybe they'll get in the shower afterward, Aaron still has so much blood in his hair.

“It wasn't your fault.” It comes out as nothing more than a thin rasp that catches Derek off guard while he pushes eggs around listlessly in the frying pan. Mindless work, he's probably overcooked them by now, his mind has been engaged elsewhere. There is salt and pepper in there, but he's on autopilot, just trying to get some toast and scrambled eggs onto a plate and into their bellies. Like that'll erase everything, fix it all.

“What's that?” he asks, turning the burner off before he pours the eggs onto the waiting plate and grabs two forks. He checks that he turned the burner off twice more before he leaves the kitchen with the plate in one hand, and two bottles held by their necks between his fingers in the other. Ketchup and hot sauce. It occurs to him that he can't remember how Aaron likes his eggs which is absurd because...he knows this. He's known it for years. He just can't get to it. His mind is completely on auto pilot, non-essential tasks and knowledge have been shut down, archived. Breathe, eat, sleep. They're both breathing, and he's trying to take care of the eating...he's not so sure of the sleep part but it's in there. It's next on the list of things to try.

“It wasn't your fault...what happened...” Aaron drawls it out this time in a voice that almost seems to ooze out thick like orange blossom honey straight from the comb. The accent, steadily getting stronger as the night wears on, almost sounds fake except he knows where Aaron is from, he's met his mother, he's seen that house.

“I know.” He doesn't, though. But he's not going to argue. It's all his fault. He could trace what happened to at least ten missed clues or opportunities. Ten that he can think of, dozens more if you give him time. Yeah, he's keeping score. Yeah that's what unsubs do, who cares at this point. He knows it's his fault, but Aaron doesn't want to hear that. Won't hear it. “It was Foyet's.” That's the only thing he can say that isn't a bigger lie than he'd started with. Aaron's blank stare at the mention of Foyet's name is haunting. In any case, Derek plans to take full responsibility for everything at the hearing and there isn't anything else to think about right now.

Clooney snores with his head on Aaron's feet, drooling on his pale pink hospital grippy socks, and Aaron picks silently at the overcooked scrambled eggs perched on Derek's thighs. “I love you, you know?” Derek says, like Aaron could forget something like that.

“I know.” He doesn't say it back right away, but he rests his cheek on Derek's shoulder and he cries and it's almost the same thing right now.

(x)

“Director Skinner,” Aaron deadpans with a nod, unable to forget his manners for even one moment. This is an Internal Affairs hearing, after all, and they're here because he fucked up. Because he didn't follow protocol. And he can't say he blames them, he didn't...but he also doesn't feel guilty, because he shouldn't. None of them have ever had their lives and the lives of their families utterly destroyed by the hands of a man who managed to skirt the system and its supposed fail-safes time and again. Witness Protection should have been enough, and it wasn't. But going back further, arresting him and putting him in prison should have been enough and it wasn't. And further yet? Boston P.D. tracking him with the help of the BAU should have been enough...but it wasn't.

“Agent Hotchner,” Skinner says quietly, tapping the table and indicating for Strauss to turn on the tape recorder. “We won't keep you long. I know your son is waiting for you.”

“Thank you.”

As Skinner opens his mouth to ask the first question, one he hopes will be the only question, the light on the intercom blinks. Flashes red. No one should be in the building, and they all feel a little dread watching it flash. “Do you mind?” Skinner asks and Aaron shakes his head, his hands folded neatly in his lap. He's too sore to move, to do anything but sit stone still and wait until this is over.

There is a squeaking sound on the other end, fuzzy and high pitched, and then a room full of hushed murmurs that sound more than a little like panic. “May I ask who is calling?”

“JACK!”

Everyone in the room smiles, everyone but Aaron. He's staring at his hands.

“Hi Jack. Are you Agent Hotchner's son, the very famous Jack Hotchner?”

“Yes.” Aaron can make out the sound of JJ's voice just behind Jack's, coaching him.

“Jack, did you know there's a secret code on the vending machine in the BAU that will get you a candy bar without even putting in money? If you promise not to tell anyone, I'll give you the code.”

“I hafta ask my dad...” Jack says a little morosely and Aaron's eyes flick up, meet Director Skinner's for just a moment and he nods.

“Well, Jack, I happen to be sitting in a room with your father right now and he says it's okay.”

It doesn't take long before Aaron can hear Reid muttering about a secret code and JJ assuring Director Skinner that the code will be safe with Jack. She'll keep Reid and Morgan far away from it. Emily is pretty sure she can steal it from JJ without her ever knowing, and then she'll make bank selling candy bars out of her desk.

“Agent Anderson,” Skinner says, turning in his chair to the man standing at the doorway. “Call the vendors for that machine and have them change the override code tomorrow morning.”

Aaron almost smiles, the corner of his mouth twitches small and fast. It's gone before anyone sees it, but he can feel it in his chest, a momentary lightness.

“Thank you, Director Skinner,” he whisper speaks. It's quiet and thin sounding. Skinner has known Aaron a long time and is more than a little shaken by his current demeanor. He'd anticipated some level of grief, of injury, but this...well he just looks broken. A wispy shadow of his former self.

“I think we can forgo this interview, Aaron. Your team has made things clear enough for our reports. I'm comfortable with leaving things as they are.”

Strauss opens her mouth, sits gaping at him for a moment. She can hardly believe her ears. “Director Skinner,” she protests and he shakes his head.

“I know protocol says we need to get a statement from Agent Hotchner, but I think we can all agree that this hearing is nothing more than cruelty at this juncture. Perhaps, if it would be agreeable to you Aaron, we could accept his statement in writing by the end of the week?”

“You're the Director,” one of the IA Agent says, closing her own file. “If that's what you're willing to accept, I see no reason to drag this out.” She's uncomfortable, too. Aaron is still staring at his hands.

“Well, Aaron?”

“It'll be on your desk in the morning.”

And just like that, he's pushing himself up out of the chair and shaking Director Skinner's hand. Skinner looks a little mortified when he squeezes too hard, apologizes under his breath and Aaron pretends like it didn't even register.

“Thank you, sir,” Aaron says and Skinner nods solemnly.

“Go home and be with your son. Save the report until the end of the week. That's an order.”

He walks snail slow back to the BAU, down long empty corridors and through keypad controlled doorways. He fumbles for his badge at every one, forgetting until the next one to have it ready. Every step drives the ache in his back deeper until he's practically dragging himself up the last of the stairs to the catwalk. Familiar territory, the home stretch. Derek is standing over the table keeping a watchful eye, making sure everyone behaves while they play a rowdy game of rock paper scissors with Jack whose face is covered in melted chocolate.

“That was fast,” Emily says, standing quickly to offer him her chair. He shakes his head and opens his arms instead when Jack comes flying at him. He'll stand. If he sits now, he might not get back up.

His back screams in violent protest as he lifts Jack up, holds him tight, buries his face in the boy's neck. Every muscle is seizing up, squeezing like a fist, yet somehow the smell of Jack and his chocolate cheeks are enough to keep him standing against the assault. It can't last long, but it'll last long enough.

“Are we all fired?” Emily asks, timid but laced with a little sarcasm. She can't help trying to cut the tension with a little joke. “Cos this is a really inconvenient time to be broke. The economy is in the shitter.”

“The BAU is cleared of all suspicion of misconduct,” Derek says, reading directly from an email Skinner sent him. Hastily typed, the man was clearly attempting to beat Aaron to the room...and judging by the way Aaron had moved like the Tin Man needing his joints oiled, he figured he had a few minutes to compose his thoughts. “Aaron just has to provide a statement in writing and it's all over.” He leaves out the bit about Skinner ordering him to make sure Aaron doesn't work on it until later in the week. That passes between them in a look when Aaron glances up at Derek helplessly from the crook of Jack's neck. Derek can see that he's on the verge of tears. He nods quickly and shoves his phone into his pocket.

“On that note, everyone get the hell out of here,” he says to the room before turning to Aaron and reaching out to take Jack from him before he collapses. “Do not come in tomorrow...or the next day. I'll text you guys when I want you back in the office.”

“Are you...still the boss?” Reid asks, a little unsure, a little unsteady. He regrets it immediately when everyone's eyes flicker toward him, burning through him. Not the time, not the time. “I just meant...now that...”

“You got a problem with that, kid?”

“No, sir." Reid's little smile, a little snarky, makes Emily laugh and shake her head.

“Hotch is gonna need some time off to be with Jack so I'll hold down the fort, business as usual. We'll let you know when or if that changes.” He pauses, letting them all absorb that little if he slipped in there. They'll have plenty of time to discuss that later. Not now. Locking eyes with Aaron, he offers him a gentle smile, a way out. “Let's go home.”

[ronearoundblindly]

Autumn and steve at some point tried cockwarming at night and hold eachother felt good after a hard day

Get. Out. Of my brain.

(Seriously, it's very dangerous in there; I get hurt all the time.)

No, but truly, I've been thinking about Bucky having a whole trial/interview, etc. with the U.S. (or more) government(s) in order to legally process all the shit that he did and that happened to him, so Autumn would have the same, right? And that's got to be a pretty traumatizing experience because the proceedings would (attempt) to not be biased or outright favoring you, yeah?

So--shit, I have written every single Cap and Autumn thing from Steve's POV, um, I may bounce around by accident--so imagine that you've been grilled by these stuffy government types for hours before being escorted 'home' to the compound...

It's all true, what you told them. You didn't do anything wrong. You didn't choose any of it anyway. You were honest.

Brutally honest.

Sickeningly honest.

And your hands are still shaking.

No team members were allowed. They weren't welcome during your closed-door testimony, so you're driven back in a black SUV, with five men in black suits with black sunglasses. No one says a word to you for another hour-and-ten-minute ride home.

You stare out the window and see, really see, exactly nothing until the car pulls around the front entrance, and a lovely, light blue sweater greets you.

Steve.

Steve also wears a sad smile, one he is so desperately trying to make genuine but can't quite get his sky-blue eyes to participate in.

The shaking of your hands is in your legs now, too, and after a couple seconds of holding your hand and waiting for you to step down, Steve simply takes over, reaching in and scooping you into his arms like a kid wiped out from a sugar crash.

You don't care. You rest your head on his shoulder and close your eyes.

"Ok, sweetheart. I got ya."

You wait patiently, counting his long strides through the main hall, the dings of the elevator, the turns down the residents' corridor.

"Palm, please," he whispers, and you sweep your hand out blindly behind you to the biometric scanner.

Ever a gentleman, Steve asks you what you need, what you want.

Food? Water? A drink? A bath? Company? Space?

Truth is that you don't know.

Every horrible memory you have was just wrung out of you and then magnified into--what does Peter call it?--4K detail, and your hands now have a distinct tremor even when holding Steve's shoulders.

You tug at his neck.

"Don't leave me."

"I would never," he snaps breathlessly before your lips cover his.

It's an excruciatingly soft kiss. A brush. A graze. A whisper of touch. Nothing more.

Your legs tighten around his waist, pelvis rocking against his crotch deliberate and slow.

Steve grunts into your mouth, quickly capturing your lips in a real kiss, but he stops just as fast.

"Rosie, you--"

"Bed," you say back, firm and unwavering, gazing into his sunset eyes that glow with layers of indecision. "Please, take me to the bed."

The sadness alights to concern on his features, but Steve got an answer. He doesn't ask if you're sure. He's respectful enough to listen and trust that it's the truth.

You slide out of his arms onto the mattress, knowing he won't try to leave. He said he wouldn't, and Steve Rogers is a man of his word, even when he's nervous, even if he thinks it'd be best for you.

You sit up and grab the button of his jeans.

His hand automatically wraps your wrist, and you freeze but don't pull away. He doesn't push either. Steve just closes his eyes for a moment, sighs, and lets go.

"Lay with me," you plead. "Just...be comfy."

To show him what you mean, you take off the stupid pant-suit layers Hill dressed you in that morning, a blazer and trousers you'd like to burn in your firepit tonight if possible, but you won't waste the garments. They just can't be on you anymore. The bad day can't touch you if it's not around you.

So you shed.

You shed the clothes. You shed the memories. You shed the guilt.

And what's left is...emptiness.

Steve takes off his shoes and socks, jeans and sweater, all casually at the foot of the bed, and crawls beside you, finding you lost in a staring contest with the wall.

He doesn't have to ask how bad it was. The answer is "it was worse."

Just when the shimmering tears crest the corners of your eyes, he pulls you against his bare chest, lacing his fingers through your hair, cradling your whole body.

"Hey, Rosie," he tries, "my Rosie. Come back to me, sweetheart."

The words are distant pinpricks of light offering navigation away from an endless black world. Black books. Blacklists. Black robes. Black cars. Black suits. Black. Black. Lack. Lacking feeling. Lacking context. Lacking hope.

You are so empty and Steve so warm.

His warmth and his light and his touch are right there but not close enough. It's not enough, and even his kiss isn't enough. You want more. You want connection. You want an undeniable, tangible anchor to a world you have been told you belong in, but the day has done nothing but set you apart.

Steve knows. He knows you. He knows you--even if he doesn't know everything you said today--and he's still here. He still wants you. He belongs here. If you could just...

While your tongue traces the roof of his mouth, your hand works him, pushing away his boxer briefs and earning you soft, fleeting grunts of protest. When you take one of his callused hands and guide it to remove your own underwear, you drag a finger through your building slick and smear it against him, showing how willing you are.

The air hitting the wet streak on his hardening cock makes Steve moan.

He pulls away from your kiss and starts to roll on his back, but you follow, straddling him with both legs and arms.

"I know," you mutter, pressing the source to him, waiting until he meets your eyes, "I know."

I know what I want. I know what I'm doing. I know I'm lost. I know you'll bring me back.

You're leaning over him, hovering, and Steve reaches up to cup your face. He tenderly meets your lips once, then kisses your cheek, then your eyelid, then your forehead, and back down the other side. Your hips rock to his motions, soaking him between your folds until he takes your lips in earnest and you take him into you. The heat and fervor of your kiss juxtapose the languid slide till he's buried to the hilt, but you plant your knees, bent at his waist, and stop.

Steve lifts his own hips once in suggestion.

No.

No, this is all you want: to feel open and stretched and full, to feel connected to the point that you are the same and unending, to feel safe and owned and unafraid of those two things existing simultaneously.

So he doesn't argue. Steve draws patterns on your bare skin--arms and legs, your back, your shoulders. He even runs his fingers tantalizingly across your ass, up between your cheeks, feeling where you're connected. His warm breaths wash over you steadily, rhythmically, stuttering when he fights not to move the rest of his body though he remains throbbing inside you.

When he hits a sensitive spot with his roaming fingers, you tense, body constricting tighter against his, and he swallows what noises he can.

The hazy distraction of pure comfort lulls you both. After a while, your head rests in the crook of Steve's neck, his arms encircle your back, and you rise and fall by his broad chest.

Fullness.

You have your world--your love--behind you, beneath you, inside you, surrounded and all around. It's bliss. It's replacing all emptiness you let go of today. You drove away from it and came home instead.

"I love you." His voice is barely a whisper.

You've grown so relaxed and heavy that it takes effort to draw yourself up to look at Steve and say back, "forever."

Um, so I may write a part two where the *rest* happens, but I'm in a super sappy mood. Currently only seem to write shit that comforts me, myself, and I, but--BUT--I really hope you enjoyed this, nonnie!

[Autumn Is Healing Masterlist]

[blondrichclosetwitch]

Inside his pants he hides a mop to clean the mess that he has dropped

Into the lap of lithesome Juliette Bell

(It's just sex and violence, melody and silence)

There's an ugly crowd here beside me

They specialise in violations

There'll be another awkward scene tonight

I’m a blind man and she is my eyes (angels 7/33, 33 is path of love; 33 has a Christ vibration)

We take the blame

But I think we dropped the baton like the 60's didn't happen

Your mum don’t sleep, oh

And the friends you keep

Take me away, so far away

It seems to come and never go

Why worry

Try not to worry

Stop calling. You’re not gonna reach my “telephone”.

I don’t love you anymore

I was home entertaining guests, when I fell off the chair and cracked open my head

“I keep it upstairs.”

When never tear us apart started to play, Stella and I started to psychically ping each other; we had the other day talked about the moment connected to this song was one of the worst moments of that year; i was told to burn all her pictures and banish her by fake Random, because “she had turned bad and needed to be sent away”. I was hysterical, but he insisted. And so i was walked through a process up on the roof. And then when I got back downstairs, never tear us apart started to play, which was something she had played on one of our walks the weeks before. And I knew she was saying I’m not gone, i’m here. I still have the remains of the burnings. This is also the song of the day, which you could also say relates to the psychic binding, or whatever the workings were called—what do you call it when you’re nonconsensually led around and you’re blind to your mind being manipulated? Stella says it was a hex. She probably knows better than me.

Premiere sarabande

If the world all falls apart

How'm I gonna keep your heart?

Convinced that I am going mad

And I can't find the means to leave

The ground is falling under me

And suddenly I'm five years old

I don’t have very long

And now I, I tremble because this fumble has become biblical

“I’m higher than the sun.”

STELLA

I take the fall(duh)

Reasons to quit: I’ve been burned at the stake, and I’m more stubborn than you

#2

That would be a crime

I don’t get mad, I get millions

Oh, hit me

This mellow-thighed chick just put my spine out of place (seriously how many times does this have to play)

Words like violence come crashing into my little world

If I ever try to leave, you'll be stalkin' me

Oh did you ever believe that I could leave you?

I think there’s a flaw in my moral code

Beauty is only skin deep but ugly is to the bone

[aesthetixhoe]

pillow S.H.

warnings: none!

word count: 505

pronouns used: none!

authors note: personally, I believe Steve is straight, obviously supportive, but straight, so some of these dynamics might be a little more feminine maybe? If they are too much let me know and I'll edit it!! This is really short, I apologize, I have a super long thing coming soon!

“I'm staying at your house tonight.” You say to your best friend Steve. Well, more than a best friend but only one-sidedly so.

“And what if I say I have plans?” He questions with false seriousness, smirking at you the whole time.

You throw your bag in the backseat of his car as you get into the passenger seat. “Cancel 'em!” You reply simply with a sweet smile.

“You're awful, ya know. I can't have a social life with you! You're my plans 24/7.” He snickers, with faux annoyance, joining you in his car.

“You say it as if its a bad thing. Do you not like me anymore Stevie?” You say with a fake pout on your face.

“You know I love you.” He rolls his eyes jokingly while turning the car on. You breathe in a little deeper than normal but uphold your composure. He can't know that you wish he meant those words.

A usual day of sleepover stuff ensued, you and Steve trying to cook a meal for dinner, watching VHS tapes, breaking into his parents wine cabinet. Typical sleepover things.

By 12 in the morning, Steve called it quits, “It's too late to stay up, we have to go to sleep.” He says and he grabs your wrist and wrangles you up the stairs.

You scoff, “Alright mom, whatever you say.” He gives you a deadpan look and continues up the last of the stairs. Once inside his room, you walk over to your bag and get out your pajamas. He turns around so you can change, a routine you go through regularly. Although this time he looks more flustered than normal for some reason. Maybe it's just the lighting...

You give him a little “You're good” to let him know it was safe to turn around. You both climb into the king-sized bed that Steve has. King bed for king Steve.

“Night Steve.” You whisper as he turns off the light and you slide under the comforter.

“Night [Y/n].” He responds turning away from you

Steve woke up to the feeling of heaviness on his chest. Panic started to rise until he slowly opened his eyes and fully took in the sight in front of him.

You, with your head on his chest, arm draped along his torso, and one leg lazily thrown across his hips.

He didn't know how you ended up here, but he was not complaining. He moved his hand up to stroke your cheek, fully taking advantage of the position. This action causes you to nuzzle farther into his chest, inhaling deeply before sighing.

That was the day Steve Harrington learned he loved being your pillow.

[twjournals]

So Wrong It's Right

Sequel: What's Wrong is Right

Warning: dark!Peter Parker x reader, DUB-CON, manipulation, age gap, drinking

PLEASE READ MY WARNING BEFORE CONTINUING. I am not responsible for your media consumption. Any and all negativity will be blocked.

Word Count: 5.4k

Summary: You're an old troubled friend of May's. Your life consists of being a workaholic, a party animal, and bringing home the shittest of guys for a one-hit-wonder. Just when you get your life in order, you're knocked right back into your old habits. Peter has watched you suffer long enough. He can make it all better.

Your life was far from where you thought you would be. It was sad to say, but you were anything but a role model. Yet May still tolerated you, regardless of Peter. Maybe she used you as an example to show Peter what not to be or maybe she was just too good of a friend to leave you on your own. To say the least, your life was a mess but you could not be more grateful to have a friend like May.

"Peter, go get me a wet rag, please," May spoke quietly. Peter left your side once he helped May get you over to the couch. You were beyond the limits that someone should be drunk.

You were in a fit of hiccups, giggling to yourself as May bent down to take off your heels. You had far too many drinks, that much was clear.

"Maaay, you.." you hiccupped, "are suuuch a good.." you hiccupped again, "friend."

May shook her head with a sigh, taking in the drunken sight of you. She was not sure how you managed to let yourself get this far gone, but every time you would drink, this is how you ended up. Either you had zero limits or you loved to push the limits you did have.

"Pet-" May started to call over her shoulder, but Peter was already hurrying in the room with his hands full.

"I'm here, Aunt May." Peter reminded and she watched as Peter sat the trash can nearby the couch. He then placed the bottle of water on the table with some medicine for the headache he knew would come with your awake in the morning. He kneeled down beside you on the couch, pressing the rag to your forehead.

May only smiled to herself as she pulled the blanket from its spot on the back of the couch and pulled it over your figure. She didn't say anymore. Peter had seen his Aunt May take care of you many nights when you were so shit-faced it was a wonder you could still see faces.

Your head was propped up against a pillow on the couch as Peter wiped your forehead with the cool rag. Your skin was burning up. Peter could not help but wonder how you let yourself get like this. You were quite a few years younger than May, but it amazed him how different the two of you were to be the best of friends.

You were fast asleep in no time, making Peter smile as his eyes gazed over your face. He had always thought you were so beautiful. Too precious to be taken advantage of by the guys you went after. He witnessed many nights when you had told Aunt May about a new guy you had hooked up with. Everyone knew it was nothing more than a one-night stand, but Peter could not help but hate any guys that touched you only for only their benefit.

It was not until you had eventually settled down with a guy you had met from one of your nightstands that you finally stopped ending up on May's couch. You had moved on with your life, still keeping in contact with May every now and then. You were happy. Not just the sex but he was truly seemed like a guy you could see yourself spending forever with.

You had stopped drinking. You had stopped going out to parties. After the first year, you had moved into the city and got an apartment together. Another year later, you guys were engaged and everything seemed to fall into place. After 3 years, the wedding was right around the corner.

Your world moved at a quicker pace now considering all the things you needed to get done before the wedding. In between work and house chores, you were planning for your big day.

As time went by, you were so wrapped up in your own little world you did not notice the slow-burning flame in your partner slowly being put out. While your plans had been coming together, your relationship was falling apart. You had for the most part ignored all the signs and assumed he was having a bad day. It amazed you how many he was having. When you would try to talk to him, it seemed useless since you could never get him to talk about it. In reality, it all brewed into something bigger. It all hit you like a ton of bricks.

You had been working later hours than usual for extra money. It wasn't cheap, but you had told yourself it was okay to want the things you wanted. After all, this was going to be your first and hopefully wedding. You wanted everything to be perfect. You even tried to get opinions from your fiance to include his vision of it, but he insisted you were better at this sort of thing. You couldn't argue with that.

You wrapped up your work at the office fairly early so you decided to call it a night and surprise your fiance. You felt like everything was on track. One night worry-free was much needed. You had earned it.

You pushed open the front door to your apartment before walking through the living room into the kitchen. You sit your keys on the counter, placing your bag on the stool by the counter. You peered around the apartment for a moment. All the lights were off and it was quiet. Had he already gone to bed? You checked the time.

7:13pm

You were surprised you did not hear his game or at least him yelling at it. You started down the hallway to the bedroom you shared, staring at the closed door. Why was it closed when it was just him? You shook the thought a little too soon. Maybe if you had just thought a little longer, you would have prepared yourself for what was on the other side.

You pushed the door open just a little to see inside when you heard a faint moan from the other side. Your heart stopped. You stood in shock taking in the sight of the man you were in love with hovered over another girl in your bed under your covers. Your face was hot in embarrassment, anger. You were feeling so many things right now you could not think straight. You were hurt.

"Are you serious??" You blurted out, causing them both to jump to try and cover themselves.

"You're sick, Chris." She shoved his chest, pushing him off of her as she quickly got out of the bed. "He told me you guys were no longer together."

She scowled as she hurried to gather her clothes off the floor and pulling them on. If it were even possible, your eyes could have burned holes through the girl. You were in disbelief. Your jaw would have already been on the floor if it wasn't connected to your face.

"I'm so sorry." She mumbled, embarrassed as she hurried past you out of your apartment.

You were left to deal with Chris. You starred at him with tears kissing your eyes.

"I-"

You took a deep breath, shaking your head. "Don't."

"I can explain." He started to get out of the bed to dress.

"There's nothing to explain, Chris." You stared at him, trying to restrain yourself from coming across the room and punching him in the face for acting like an explanation could even justify his actions.

"She meant nothing to me." He started to walk over to you.

“You told her we weren’t together. How is that nothing?”

“It felt like we weren’t. You were so busy.” He tried to touch your arm but you shoved his hand away.

"Don't you dare think about touching me when you were just touching another woman." You looked at him with dark eyes, struggling to fight back the cry. He wasn't worth your tears. "I want you to get out."

"Get out?! Where am I gonna go?"

"I don't know." You shrugged your shoulders. "Maybe you could have thought that through."

He frowned, running his fingers through his hair frustrated. "It doesn't have to be like this. Can't we just talk this out?"

"No!" You shouted at him, making his eyes grow wide. You could tell he wasn't telling this as seriously as you. "I don't want to look at you right now." You turn to leave the room, but he grabs your arms to turn you to face him.

"Please. Look, I can- I can stay on the couch tonight. I'll give you your space and when you're ready we can talk about it. I was wrong for that. I fucked up and I'm sorry." You yanked yourself from his hold.

"You can give me space by leaving. Pack yourself a bag and go."

"I love you, Y/n. I never meant to hurt you."

You shook your head as your eyes wandered over the bed to where they once were before meeting his eyes. "You mean you never meant to get caught."

He sighed before hanging his head in defeat and walking by you to gather up some of his things. You didn't move from your spot. Only stared at the mess of a bed. The place you made love to him while he made love to another. You listened to the front door close behind him on his way out before you finally covered your face, letting the tears fall.

For days, weeks, all you could seem to do was feel sorry for yourself. You couldn't find the strength to get out of bed. No matter how many calls you received, you let them ring through to voicemail. Everything you had felt for him was in ruins. You changed for him. You let yourself grow for him and even that wasn't enough. After all the time you spent picking up after him, cooking, cleaning, planning, staying loyal for crying out loud. You didn't know what else he could of you.

You had called off the wedding in the time you stayed closed up in your apartment. Even took some time off of work to handle it all. You took that time to gather every piece of him scattered around the apartment and packed it up. You wanted to end this as painless as possible aside from the pain you were already feeling. You had thrown away the sheets and replaced them, even get a new comforter and it still didn't feel the same anymore to lay in your bed. You stared at your phone beside you as it lit up for what felt like the hundredth time. You finally sighed, lifting the phone. You knew without even looking at the name it was from him.

You canceled the wedding? It doesn't have to be like this. I still love you, Y/n. You were so busy with work and all the planning. You abandon me. Whenever I wanted your attention, you were always too tired to pay any attention to me.

It's like the girl I fell in love with was gone. Some time ago, you couldn’t keep your hands off of me now it’s like I have to beg you to touch me.

You're being selfish.

You can't be THAT mad, Y/n. I’m a man. I have needs. You were busy and she was willing to help. We can fix this. Don’t give up 3 years. Don’t give up on me.

There were loads more, but you could not care to bother reading the rest. You tossed your phone back down on the bed, rubbing your hands over your face. You didn't owe him anything, not even a response. The girl he was talking about was not gone. She was only on hold to plan a wedding by herself and it was more stressful than he knew. You wanted to forget everything that had happened. You wanted to forget you wasted 3 years of your life planning on growing old with this man.

--

You weren't sure how you had got this far and with that being said, May wasn't either. You had talked May into joining you to a night out at a club. She needed a night to herself and you needed a break from everything. Along with that, if you had stayed inside that house a moment longer, you might have gone insane.

"You're going to be hammered if you keep on like that." May reminded with a laugh, both of you clinging onto the bar and each other for the extra support. You thanked the bartender as he pushed your last round of shot glasses in front of the two of you.

You smiled, passing a glass to May before keeping one for yourself.

"We can only hope." You winked at the bartender who only chuckled before clinking your shot glass with hers and downing your shot.

Your throat was already numb from all the alcohol you had already numbed it with. May wasn't far behind you. You took your final shot, grinning and pulling May along with you to the dancefloor to get lost in the sea of people. You threw your arms around May's, moving your hips as you both danced to the music.

This was the therapy you needed. Sometimes you had longed for nights like this. You had freedom. You had no worries, aside from worrying who you might wake up beside. But you had fallen in love and even though you had grown up, you had not nearly grown out of this lifestyle. It was all too familiar.

"Hey! I'm going to the bathroom! I'll be back!" May moved closer to you, raising her voice to be heard over the loud music. You nodded, watching her pushing her way through the crowd of people to get to the ladies' bathroom before easing yourself back into your dancing.

You swayed, grinding your hips with the rest of the crowd. You weren't the slightest bit bothered to be dancing by yourself. You used to lose yourself on the dancefloor for hours days after days years ago.

"I've missed this." You heard a familiar voice speak from behind you, startling you when their hands landed on your hips with your sway. They pulled you back against them, catching you off guard. "I've missed you." He mumbled in your ear, sending chills down your spine.

You peaked over your shoulder to make sure your mind was not playing tricks on you. It wasn't. You prayed it was an old one-night stand, but of course, it was the one person you were trying to get away from.

"It doesn't work like that, Chris." You dropped your hands down to his on your hips, trying to push them off your hips but they only hold you tighter. "Get- get off of me." You gritted through your teeth as your eyes glared at him. "Get off!" You raised your voice.

"Now, now, let's not cause a scene. You've had quite a bit to drink haven't you?" He wrapped your arms around your figure, making your blood run cold as his body pressed to yours.

"That's none of your business."

"I'm your fiance. You are my business."

"Ex." You corrected him. His nose flared slightly.

"You really want to go there? You're nothing without me. You're shit-faced in the middle of the club and you can't even accept my help?" He growled and you pushed on his arms.

"I don't need your help."

"You're drunk. You don't know what you need." He spat.

The sound of someone clearing their throat interrupted your argument. "I think I've got it from here." You looked up to put a face to the voice, your eyes widening slightly.

"And you are?" Chris didn't budge while staring down Peter as if challenging him.

Peter was reaching his hand out for yours. "Her boyfriend." You stared up at Peter in shock at how much he had changed over the years and he smiled reassuringly.

Chris stiffed slightly and you could feel his eyes burning a hole into you. "Is that true?"

You didn't take your eyes off of Peter, taking a hold of his hand and letting him pull you out of Chris's arms. "Yes." Your voice was hushed.

Chris scowled. "Wow. I wish you luck there, man. She's a real catch." He laughed, making you look down. You couldn't believe he was really trying to ruin your night when he had already ruined everything else.

Peter only snaked his arm around your waist, letting his hand settle on your hip while his eyes never left Chris's. "She certainly is." He agreed. He gave your body a warm squeeze, grabbing you closer into his embrace. "Now, if you'll excuse us."

With that, he guided you through the crowd off of the dance floor.

"You okay?" He finally broke the silence once he got you back to the bar, sitting you down on one of the stools.

You nodded, letting your eyes wander up to him as he motioned the bartender over. "I'm just curious as to why you're here right now. Aren't you supposed to be in college?"

He smiled as he pulled out his wallet to pay your tab and you grabbed his hand, shaking your head. "No, no. I can pay for my own."

"What if I insist?"

"You don't have to, honestly. I have money."

You started to reach into your purse for some cash but Peter covered your hand, giving you another reassuring smile.

"You'll have plenty of other times to pay. I'll get it this time." He reminded you and you sighed in defeat, giving him a playful scowl. He only grinned, proceeding to pull some cash from his wallet to give to the bartender.

"You didn't answer my question." You continued as he turned back to you.

"I'm still college. I just sometimes stay with Aunt May on the weekends."

"And you just so happened to be here?"

Peter chuckled, pointing in May's direction as she stumbled over her feet returning back to the two of us. "Aunt May called."

You raised your eyebrow, looking over at May as she stood beside you now. "You called Peter?"

"Someone has to get you back home." She reminded you and you hit her arm slightly, tilting your head.

"May, I could have got a taxi or an uber. You didn't have to call him for me." You scowled at her and she shook her head in a tsking manner.

"No, no, no. I called Peter so I can rest assured you got home safely and not by some random stranger."

You rolled your eyes slightly and Peter butted in with an awkward chuckle. "I really don't mind. I don't consider this anything out of the way. I'd rather it be me than some stranger or someone." He noticed him giving the floor a swift scan around the three of you.

"Fine." You pouted your bottom lip slightly before rising from your seat at the bar. "You guys make me feel irresponsible or something." You grabbed a hold of May's arm and pulling her with you to the exit of the club while Peter followed behind the two of you.

"Are you coming?" You muttered over to May and she shook her head.

"Happy is here." Just as the words left her mouth when you started out the door, you spotted Happy parked in front of the building to pick up May. "Peter isn't too bad of a driver." You stopped in front of Happy's car.

"Oh goody, rest secured." You muttered and she laughed. Your arms looped around May's neck, hugging her tight. "I'm so glad to have you back. Message me when you get home." You told her and Happy a quick goodnight before letting her go.

Peter led you over to his car, unlocking the car and opening the passenger side for you. You settled comfortably in the front seat, leaning your head back against the headrest. You didn't like how it felt as if you couldn't take care of yourself, but you were in no position to complain when Peter Parker had yet again saved the day.

--

Peter glanced over at you in the passenger seat from time to time as he drove the distance to your apartment. He tried to keep the glances quick to keep you from noticing. You were just as beautiful as he remembered. It had been years since he had actually seen you, but you seemed like the Y/n he still remembered. Not that it was anything bad. He adored you then, and now a bit more.

He had always had the hots for you for as long as you remembered. Of course, you never minded when you ended up staying with him and Aunt May. You were always kind to Peter and he did his best to nurse you back to health to take on the hangover that awaited you the next morning.

He had never forgotten what you said to him one day while you were sick from the night before. You had been clinging onto the toilet and he had taken the opportunity to hold your hair back out of your face to keep from getting anything in it.

You sighed as he rubbed your back in soothing circles. You leaned against the toilet miserably. That was the day you learned to stay away from tequila.

"I hope I meet a guy at least half as amazing as you someday, Peter."

No doubt did the compliment find its way to his cheeks. He blushed a deep shade of red. He tried to restrain himself from making a big deal but it was a big deal to him. Though he knew he didn't stand a chance right now with his age, it meant if he had been of age, he had a chance. He thought about it even when you had stopped coming around so much. He knew this was all a coping method for you. You were hurting then and he could tell by the way you seemed toward the guy back there that there was more to that counter.

He noticed your shiver as you stared out the window. You mentally cursed yourself for wearing something this revealing. You rubbed your arms to try to warm yourself a little. Peter reached behind him in the back seat to retrieve a hoodie of his he always forgot in the car and handing it to you.

"Here." He offered before fumbling with the heat in the car. He smiled at your quiet thank you, putting your arms in the hoodie and pulling it close for warmth with putting it all the way on. He tried to control the big grin threatening to break across his face.

"I'm sorry you had to keep seeing me like this." You looked over at Peter as he kept his eyes on the road. He didn't realize how thankful you were for him in times like this. It was embarrassing how many times this had happened but you were still thankful Peter didn't think any less of you.

"You really don’t have to apologize.” He smiled at her before turning his attention back to the road.

“I really do though. I feel like you’ve taken care of me enough. I’m grown, you know? It should be the other way around.” You giggled and Peter glanced over at you.

“I’m 21.” He reminded you.

“And I’m pushing 30.”

“You’re 28. You’re still young.” He chuckled.

“Almost 29!” You huffed as he pulled into the parking lot to your apartment. “My point is- you know what my point is.”

He couldn’t help but laugh at your frustration. Your age didn’t matter to him. He could always settle for his MJ, his best friend, but seeing you tonight relit the flame to his crush for you. There was just something about you.

He parked the car in the parking lot, walking around to your side to open the door for you. You slid your arms out of his hoodie and leaving it in the seat as he helped you out of the car. You could feel the shots hitting you all at once when you stood. You stumbled out in your heels, grabbing onto Peter’s arms for support.

“Easy now.” He held onto your waist as he guided you to your apartment, asking for your keys. He took your keys when you dug them out of your pocket, letting you in your apartment.

You couldn’t help but notice all the little things he did for you. You kicked off your heels at the door, stumbling over your own two feet again as you wandered down the hallway to your bedroom. You could hear Peter in the kitchen getting you a bottle of water from the fridge along with some medicine from the medicine cabinet.

You sat on the bed when you hear his footsteps coming down the hallway toward the bedroom. You looked up at him, pouting your bottom lip out slightly when you saw him with a bottle of water and medicine for the headache to come.

He set them down on your nightstand, noticing your pout. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

“Peter, you’re seriously too good to me.” You sighed.

“How’s that?” He looked down at you as he towered over you.

You motioned over to the stuff he had placed on your nightstand and frowning. “All of this. You- you really didn’t have to do this for me.”

“You’re right I don’t. But I want to. I would want it done for me if I were ever in your shoes.”

You laughed slightly at the thought of Peter drunk and you smiled to yourself. “I would definitely be there anytime you needed me.”

You thought back to all the time you had ever been drunk, remembering all the time you woke up to water and medicine from him. Only from him. Even a trash can in case you were to ever get sick, but you never got that with Chris. You always took care of him, but no one ever took care of you. You shook your head with a frown. You had tried so hard to hold it together, but it felt like you were slowly falling apart. He wasn't worth your tears, yet he was always the cause of them.

He kneeled down in front of you, tilting your head up to meet his gaze. “Talk to me. Everything okay?”

You couldn’t stop the words from coming out. “Why am I never enough?”

His eyes widened at your words. “You are more than enough and anyone who doesn’t see that, who doesn’t appreciate you and the things you do for them doesn’t deserve you.” He corrected you, his thumb stroked over your jaw as he held your face to keep your attention.

You didn't know what to say. All you could do was stare. Your eyes scanned over his face before stopping at his lips. Don't. Don't you do it. You mentally told yourself. You couldn't control the effect the alcohol had on your mind and your actions. You tried to fight back the urge but the alcohol only pushed down the buriers you had built.

Your lips smashed against his firmly, catching him by surprise. He was frozen about your lips for a first, in shock, this was actually happening but he surely gave in the kiss. Your hands grabbed at the back of his neck and pulling him onto the bed with you without breaking the hungry desperate kiss. His body hovered over yours as your fingers curled against his shirt, gripping on it. You knew it was wrong. It was so wrong, but you couldn't bring yourself to stop.

Your smaller hands slid underneath his shirt, brushing your hands over his defined abs. He was sculpted by a God. He knew he should stop, but he couldn't find it in him to stop. He didn't want to miss his chance to prove himself to you. He wanted to take care of you.

Your lips parted for air even though you left like you could hardly catch your breath when his lips started to kiss down your neck. Your hands tugged on his shirt until you started to pull it up and over your head.

His hands pushed your tight dress up the curves of your body, tossing it beside the bed once he peeled it from your body. Your lips still tingled from the loss of his and you whined quietly, your hand grasped the curls at the nape of his neck to bring his lips back to yours.

He kissed your lips passionately and letting your lips mold together. He could taste the alcohol on your tongue but it didn't bother him any. He had dreamed of this moment since he was a teen. Your fingers worked desperately to undo his jeans, feeling his bulge already through his pants before your hands pushed his pants off of his hips along with your boxers.

You were so desperate. You couldn't stop the whine that escaped against his lips. "Peter, please..." His cock twitched at the sound of his name falling from your lips.

He dragged your panties down your legs swiftly, placing himself back between them when he spread them open again. He peppered light kisses to your lips as he dragged the tip of precum-coated tip through your folds, not wasting any time to give you what you wanted.

You cried out as you clung to Peter's bareback, feeling his cock stretching you in all the ways you craved. You moaned out, letting him swallow them in a kiss as his hips rolled into yours again and again. He sighed in pleasure against your lips as your walls invited him in. You were even better than he could have imagined.

He couldn't believe this was actually happening. His lips covered your body in his kisses, admiring every part of your body as it sang for him. This was nothing like what you used to. He pressed small kisses against your bottom lip, nibbling on it as your core ached with a building climax. Your legs wrapped around his hips, causing you to gasp at the deeper strokes.

Your head fell back against the pillows, a loud moan drawing from your parted lips. Your fingers held onto Peter's hair as he hit that spot over and over, making your eyes roll slightly. You needed so badly for him to stop, but you couldn't bring the words to the surface.

"Oh my god..." Your core tightened with every deep thrust. His cock touched parts of you no guy had ever. You had never felt a climax so fast or so strong. "Please don't stop..." You couldn't fight the words from coming out. Your grip tightened on his dark hair, feeling yourself falling apart with an orgasm with every thrust.

"You're so pretty when you cum." He couldn't stop even if he wanted to. He was not far behind you by the way your walls sucked him in, milking him for all he was worth.

"Do it again. I want to make you cum again." He groaned against your chest as his tongue dragged over your hardened nipple, flicking his tongue against it teasingly before letting out a groan against your warm skin. He didn't want it to stop. He didn't want it to end. "You feel so good, Y/n..."

His hand reached between the two of you, rolling his fingers over your clit in circles. You gripped onto his wrist at the overpowering feeling. You were soaked to the core. This man made you crumble.

"I-I'm gonna cum.." His voice cracked slightly as your walls clenched around him tight In your second orgasm, pushing him over the edge into his first. His cum filled you full, marking you as he pressed delicate kisses across your neck while praising you in the process. "So beautiful, so perfect."

Your eyes were heavy with exhaustion, smiling to yourself when Peter laid down on the bed behind you. He wrapped an arm around your body, pulling you back against his chest.

It only took a matter of seconds for sleep to claim you as Peter pulled a blanket over the both of you tiredly. It was only a matter of time before the morning came to rain on your parade. Bringing along the guilt and regret that followed.

[miss-smutty]

Forbidden - Chapter 2

Summary- Jess couldn't stop thinking about the guy she'd met in the coffee shop, he was drop dead gorgeous, mature and everything she's always wanted but how would she find him again when she didn't even know his name?

Word count- 3.1K

Pairing- Prof!Chris Hemsworth x OC

Warnings- Swearing, slight smut talk

18+ only!

Disclaimer: This is an entire work of fiction/AU and has no affiliation to real life what so ever! This is a fictional story about fictional characters who happen to share names and faces with some real people.

Posted: 13th August 2021

Taglist:- @innerpaperexpertcloud @pandaxnienke @chickensarentcheap @jjpogueprincess @longlostinanotherworld @mostly-marvel-musings @darklydeliciousdesires @monet-belle

Chapter 1

The only thing was, he didn't know I was only twenty and I had no way of finding him again.

If fate did bring us back together, would he mind that I was still a student? That I couldn't even drink when we went on dates? 

Who am I kidding? Of course he would mind, he could get any woman he wanted, why would he want me?

"Morning, you feeling any better?" Ellie was awake before me as usual, she spent hours getting ready in the morning and was now sat at her desk finishing her make up.

"I suppose, can't beat myself up forever can I?" I was more the get up and go kind of girl, I could never understand why she'd take hours getting ready just to go to class but I suppose you never know who you're going to bump into.

"No you can not. Not when there's literally thousands of guys here to take your pick of." 

"Psh!" I finally pull myself out of bed after thinking about the thought of possibly bumping into my hunk again I changed my mind about making myself a little more presentable.

"What d'ya mean psh?" Ellie turns to look at you, her mascara wand in her hand and only one eye made up, she looked ridiculous. How could you take her seriously looking like that? 

"I mean I'm not interested in these childish boys anymore El, I want a man." 

"Fuck me, you spoke to the guy for two minutes and already you're acting like you've lost the love of your life." Wow, that hurt a little.

"I didn't say I was talking about him although it would be nice. I just meant I'm sick of playing all these childish games and never knowing where I stand. Don't you get sick of being the one who always falls deeper? Getting messed about and then being the one who's left hurt?" I joined her at the desk, putting on a little mascara and eyeliner. "I want a man who knows what he wants and treats me better. Don't you?"

"Well shit, when you put it like that I can't argue with you. It would be nice, hey I wonder if Mr Aussie has a brother?" She waggles her eyebrows at me, making me laugh. "I gotta go babe, what class you got?" 

"My first Comms class this morning." I did not sound excited at the prospect because I really wasn't. I'd put it off in freshman and sophomore years but thought I better get it over and done with before my senior year.

"Oh really? I didn't know you'd taken that class. I heard a load of seniors talking the other day and apparently the Professor is drop dead gorgeous. I was thinking about taking it up too just to see what all the fuss was about." 

"Well that should make the class a lot more interesting, maybe it isn't going to be as bad as I thought."

"See, every cloud and all that. See you tonight, fancy the bar?" She shouts over her shoulder as she walks towards the door.

"Sounds good, see you later."

I looked over my outfit I'd already chosen for the day, just some jeans and a plain t-shirt and realised it wouldn't do. Not when there's the prospect of a hot Professor to impress. My wardrobe desperately needed an update, especially now I was focused on finding myself a man and not one of these easily pleased college boys, that were happy with anything as long as I showed a bit of leg and tits. I settled with some tight black jeans with a black, lace-rimmed, cami body suit and a cute little cream, cropped blazer to finish it off. It made me feel confident when I checked myself out in the mirror and if I do say so myself I looked smoking hot. I checked the time on my phone, realising I was going to be late I quickly ran the curling tongs through the ends of my long blonde hair before grabbing my bag and rushing out of the door.

In the hopes of catching the eye of this new professor I'd completely forgotten about the hottie from the coffee shop, which was probably a good thing, it's not like I'm ever going to see him again. I kind of wished I would though, especially when I was looking and feeling this great but hey, on to bigger and better prospects.

I thought that being late would mean I'd be stuck with a lame choice of desk in class but luckily the back row was practically empty and I could hide in the corner of the lecture theatre. I laughed to myself when I realised that practically all the girls were occupying the front desks, obviously they'd heard the rumours too.

I pushed my hair behind my ears and fumbled in my bag for my pen and notepad, when I glanced to the door and caught the eyes of a student I hadn't seen before. I couldn't deny how attractive he was, with his bright blue eyes and floppy hair, oh and that smile. Wow! He smiled brightly at me as he made his way to the back of the class, his eyes glinting, shining like diamonds as he ignored the whispers from the girls at the front. The whole row of desks were free so when he chose the desk right next to me, my stomach fluttered.

I kept my eyes on my notepad, doodling on the front cover so as to avoid that eye contact with him again. I could see a cheeky glint in his eyes and I'd learnt from experience what that meant, trouble. I wasn't ready to get myself back into a situation like that again.

My eyes shot to the front as I heard the room erupt into wolf whistles, the girls at the front giggling and whispering to each other, I rolled my eyes at them, how embarrassing. 

Then I realised what all the fuss was about and my heart almost stopped beating, thudding against my chest at an alarming rate. How is this even possible? How the fuck could he be a professor? Surely he's not old enough. Oh fuck.

I sank lower in my chair, willing the ground to just swallow me up or maybe if I got low enough I would escape his notice. No such luck, his eyes scanned the class and when they fell on mine, his face lit up with anger? No not anger. A hunger. His eyes scanned my body, falling over my hair and down to my cleavage. I felt hot under his gaze, was I blushing? Sweating? Oh god, I've never wished for class to be over so much in my life.

My professor was the guy I'd been shamelessly flirting with in the coffee shop. I don't understand how this could be real, I know I wanted to bump into him again but this is such a cruel twist of fate. I'd never even suspected him to be a professor, he was so damn thick and muscly. The clothes he wore were so stylish and he looked way too young to be a professor. He must be so embarrassed that he'd been flirting with a student, I definitely was embarrassed that I'd been flirting with a professor.

I was so panicked, I didn't have a clue what to do in this situation. Squirming in my seat, trying to look anywhere but at the Professor but I could feel his eyes on me as he prepared for the class to start. People were still whispering amongst themselves and I risked a glance in his direction, that made me bite on to my lip to stop myself from screeching. His eyes were still on me, subtly glancing up from the pile of paper he'd just taken out of his bag, his eyebrows furrowed as he studied me. He certainly didn't look embarrassed infact he looked downright feral and the thought of it made my pussy clench, so much so I had to cross my legs under the table.

"I guess you're obsessed with this new Professor too, huh?" The guy next to me leant across his desk to whisper and fuck me if I wasn't imagining it but he was Australian too. Like have we just suddenly had a huge delivery of hot Australian guys arrive at the University? This was just downright unfair, how was I meant to cope?

"No, what makes you say that?" Why did I ask that question? Like it wasn't obvious how much I was sweating and squirming in my seat. Luckily he didn't have time to answer when my eyes were drawn back to the professor as he stood at the front of the class with his hands casually in his pockets and cleared his throat to get our attention.

If I wasn't mistaken, now he looked angry, the muscles in his neck more prominent as he glared between me and the guy next to me.

Was he angry that my attention had been taken away from him and was on another guy? Or because we were talking when we should've been paying attention?

"Now I've got your attention, we're going to use our first session to get to know each other a little better. You'll be doing quite a lot of speeches so it's best if you feel comfortable with one another. I'll start by introducing myself." That sexy accent makes me sweat even more, nevermind the fact that his eyes keep finding their way back to me. "So, I'm Professor Hemsworth and I'm originally from Melbourne in Australia." His eyes meet mine again, a knowing look in them.

"G'day mate." Some idiot from the back shouted, making everyone laugh and I couldn't help but join in a little. Professor Hemsworth smiled at the joke, his eyes creasing in the corners and his smile growing wider when he looked to me and saw me giggling.

"Yeah, very original. Alright, alight, settle down now." His voice is so commanding and authoritive, it's such a turn on. "So, I haven't been here for very long and I'm still getting used to how different things are here. The weather for one." He earned a couple of laughs from people. I couldn't keep my eyes off of him, he was so mesmerizing. The way his face animated as he spoke, his eyebrows raising and lips curling.

"I was going to ask you all to go easy on me but that's not going to happen is it?" He got a couple of head shakes and sympathetic looks from the girls. "No, I thought not. Well now it's my turn to torture you. I'll start alphabetically, stand up and tell everyone something about yourself." I swallowed back my fear, this is the reason I'd put off this class until now and as if it wasn't hard enough talking in front of a whole class I now had to do it in front of Professor Hemsworth too.

"Claire Abbott." Fuck. He'd started, at least my name would be one of the last ones.

"Hi I'm Claire." The tall blonde at the front stood up, twirling her hair around her finger and giggling like a child. I rolled my eyes at her and caught the Professor smirk in my direction. "I erm… I don't know what to say?" She looks up at the Professor questioningly.

"Just anything about yourself that we might find interesting, the first thing that comes to mind." He replied.

"Well I own four horses and I'm the cheer captain." I rolled my eyes again, scoffing quietly and Professor Hemsworth had to hold in a laugh as he looked in my direction.

"Talk about predictable." The guy next to me leaned over to whisper to me again.

"Totally." I laughed back at him and when I looked back at the Professor he was glaring straight at us again, his face set sternly.

"You two at the back, we'll wait for you shall we?" Professor Hemsworth said sternly, everyone turned around to look at us but I barely noticed, I was too focused on the way his stern voice made my cunt flutter when he called me out.

I didn't speak for the rest of the class, although I had the urge to, just to hear the way his voice sounded when he was angry. I couldn't concentrate on what the other students were saying, too focused on watching the way the Professor's face changed everytime he looked my way, which was pretty often, to my suprise.

"Jake Hudson." In my peripheral, I saw the guy next to me stand and when he did, Professor Hemsworth's eyes narrowed.

"Hi I'm Jake." He pushed his hands in to his pockets cooly, glancing at me as he did. "I'm also from Australia." He looked at the professor slyly, a smirk forming on his lips, laughing at the other students shouting G'day mate. "I was forced to move here but I'm glad I did because I've just met the most beautiful girl I've ever seen." The class burst into rounds of whistles and cheers as Jake sat down, smiling at me cockily. I could feel my cheeks blushing, I was flattered, he was absolutely gorgeous but hadn't I sworn of boys my own age?

Professor Hemsworth looked even more angry now as he loosened his tie a little, that black tie that draws my view down, like a arrow pointing straight to his cock. I tried to keep my eyes down on my desk, doodling in my notebook so I could avoid that hungry gaze, anxiously waiting for my turn. What the hell was I going to say?

"Jessica Watson." Shit. I stood slowly, trying to give myself more time to think, I couldn't stand everyone's eyes being on me especially the Professors and Jakes.

"Hey, I'm Jessica." I smiled nervously, tucking my hair behind my ear. "These last couple of days have been pretty eventful for me." I looked away from the chalk board so I could search Professor Hemsworth's face. "I'm living the life of a romance novels heroine and I'm excited to see what the next couple of days bring." I sat down keeping the gaze of the professor, I'd forgotten I was in a room full of people until I heard the ooh's and ahh's and my cheeks turned scarlet. The Professor's eyes glowed with heat as he watched me sit down before shaking his head and turning back to the class. Jake also caught my eye as I sat back at my desk, my cheeks still burning, he smiled at me, the kind of smile that crinkles your eyes. I felt kind of bad that he probably thought I was talking about him when in fact I was talking about our professor.

"I hope we all feel a bit more comfortable with each other now, some of you shared some pretty revealing things." He looked at me again. "Some of you, not so much." He raised his eyebrows at a group of guys. "I'll have a schedule for you all next time I see you, anybody that has any questions can see me after class, everyone else is free to leave." His eyes scanned me as he turned around to sit at his desk, I watched a couple of girls approach him predictably.

"Are you going to the party at our frat this weekend?" I had to reluctantly pull my eyes away from the Professor while Jake spoke, so he was a Alpha Kappa, not surprising really.

"Yeah, I think so. My roommate mentioned it."

"Oh good, I'll see you there then. Jessica." He smiled, standing from his seat.

"Jess." I corrected him. I hated being called Jessica, it was so formal.

"Well Jess, I'll see you around." He winked at me as he pulled his backpack on to his shoulder.

There were still a couple of girls taking up the Professor's attention and I wasn't sure yet whether I wanted to sneak past or wait to speak to him. I thought about it for a minute my fingertips drumming against my desk when the girls left and he was alone. As soon as the door closed, his gaze was on me and I could hear the silence in the room like a ringing in my ears. We stayed like that for a couple of seconds, staring at each other, no one saying a word until her cleared his throat. I blinked a couple of times, realising how stupid I must look before getting up from my seat and packing my things away.

"Did you need to talk Miss Watson?" I could hear amusement in his voice as he sat back on his desk casually, his arms folded across his chest.

"I erm…" I walked towards him, my legs feeling like jelly all of sudden and trying not to fall down the stairs. "I wanted to apologise, I had no idea you were a Professor." I said as I reached the bottom of the stairs, I didn't know what to do with myself but I was nervous about getting closer to him. He made the atmosphere feel tense, like if I was to reach out and touch him I would burn my fingers so I stood awkwardly at the bottom of the steps.

"There's no need to apologise Miss Watson, I also had no idea you were a student but I was hoping to bump into you again. Funny how things work out isn't it?" He cocked his eyebrow at me, still looking amused as he watched me squirm. When he said he'd been hoping to bump into me again it made me feel more confident, like I wasn't imagining the way he'd been looking at me for the last hour.

"I think fate can be rather cruel Professor Hemsworth." I smiled at him as I finally closed the distance between us, watching his eyes flare with hunger when I called him Professor.

"Oh really? Why is that Miss Watson?" His eyes narrowed, his Adams apple bobbing in his throat as I got close enough to touch him, I didn't though. I didn't dare break that boundary, not yet.

I smiled at him through my lashes, biting on to my lip. "I was hoping to bump into you again too, only now the thought of what could've happened will have to remain a fantasy." Wow! I was not expecting that, did I sound like a slut? Shit. I looked back up at him and caught him gulp, that hunger in his eyes shining, his pupils blown with lust, he loosened his tie even more and I caught a glimpse of his smooth chest and chickened out. The tension was way too much and I was about to do something I was going to regret, I could live with being a huge tease instead.

"I better get to my next class, we can't have anyone thinking I'm your favourite now can we?" I smiled to myself when I noticed the muscles in his jaw tense as he ground his teeth together. Turning to leave I looked back over my shoulder and his eyes were glued to my hips, watching them sway as I walked and I realised I had him exactly where I wanted him but was it worth the risk?

[bonny-kookoo]

Sweet Girl [J.JK x Reader]🔞🌼☁️

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Fluff, Smut, angst because I like to cry myself to sleep

Warnings: dom/sub dynamics, dom!jungkook, sub!Reader, size kink is still strong, mild dd/lg themes, praise kink, long haired jungkook because yes that needs to be a warning, strength kink, they fuck in the kitchen smh

Jungkook and you are in a healthy relationship, managing all those things couples have to manage; building an IKEA bed, having your first fight, or arguing who should do the laundry this time. Apart from that, your life inside your bedroom has been pretty active as well, leaving Jungkook more satisfied than ever. He's not a horny teenager anymore after all, trying not to bust a nut just because he got a glimpse of your nipples through your rather thin shirt- yet you always manage to be so unbelievably sinful, he can't help but snatch a taste every now and then. After all, you're his- he's simply reminding you.

This is part of the 'Good Girl'-Universe!

Good Girl || Sweet Girl || Smart Girl || Brave Girl

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Jeon Jungkook and you loved to tease each other. From the way he would rub his sweat-soaked hair all over the crook of your neck playfully after his workout just to rile you up, just to exclaim happily that you love him too much to actually be serious when you yell that he's disgusting. And he's right- even if he's exhausting to be around sometimes with his seemingly endless energy (seriously, you're convinced at this point that he's the human embodiment of the energizer bunny), or how he could sometimes forget that you're not as tough as his other male friends that he was regularly around. You catch yourself laughing inside yourself every time you turn into a crybaby and tear up when a comment gets under your skin, because his entire body changes posture- every time he notices you getting hurt because he's too rough while playfighting, or when he again tells you you could just get your chubby butt up and work out with him, completely ignoring the fact that he knows its a very sensitive topic for you; he literally turns into a complete child who just got asked to explain rocket science. Jungkook isn't used to handle something as fragile as a girl- plus, you play along and usually brush off most things so easily, that he simply sometimes forgets that you actually have weak points.

One of these moments occured early on in your relationship; it was a silly mistake on his side really. When Taehyung asked him straight up if he was dating you, you didn't expect a huge love proposal; Jungkook wasn't like that. But a simple yes would've been okay as well- yet Jungkook being the cocky bastard he was, simply made a comment along the lines of 'nah, I'm just screwing her.' It was meant as a joke really, and it took him a good thirty seconds to notice your demeanor changing. Deep inside you, you knew he didn't mean it like that, yet it still hit you hard, especially considering his past hobby of trying to be the biggest manwhore around. When he'd went after you just when you had told him you'd be using the bathroom and not returning after a good ten minutes, he'd bursted into the womans bathrooms just in time to see you trying to wipe away your tears. His face had been priceless really now that you thought about it; before that moment you always had a hard time imagining that 'kicked puppy look' people always talked about- he didn't look like you just kicked him, but full on sucker punched his prized playstation out of orbit just for a laugh. He was totally unprepared and clearly had no idea what to do in that moment, never having needed to deal with tears in that way- and your face had hit him especially hard, considering how it was his fault at that. Considering how lost he really was he dealt with it quite sweetly, yet in a typical Jungkook fashion- uncaring of other woman and girls trying to get into the bathroom, he'd grabbed a considerable amount of tissue paper from the dispenser next to the sink you were standing in front of, promptly sitting you on top of it to properly have you at eye-level with him to wipe away your tears and smeared make up, telling you how you looked better without it anyways, and how sorry he was for being an utter asshole and idiot at the same time. You honestly started laughing at that. Not necessarily his comment even though it was true, but his extremely concentrated face, as if he was restoring an ancient artwork or something the likes of that. He audibly sighed at that, glad to know you didn't hate him. Because that was his innermost fear; you probably seeing the dickbag he thought he was underneath and leaving him for good. Not that he'd tell you that. You knew of that fear though.

Needless to say, it wasn't the only thing that happened between you both. Yet you've always overcome these things with ease, both of you growing surprisingly mature about arguments as time went on. Jungkook changed you as well- you were a wallflower before, and if you were honest, you kind of still were. But you were carrying yourself with a newfound confidence because of his daily praises- turning heads every now and then simply because you actually liked yourself these days. And Jungkook noticed as well- always commenting on how he didn't know if he liked the change or not, considering how much attention you now got everywhere you both went. You simply countered that with a simple comment along the lines of 'Now you know how I feel', because he was glowing up every month it seemed. Yet he stayed true to his words back then to you; he really did only have eyes for you anymore.

What really did piss him off was just how innocent you could be sometimes. It had him fuming how oblivious you could seem to others shamelessly flirting with you, yet he knew that he loved that about you just as much. The fact that you would willingly (and happily of course) let him corrupt you over and over again fuled his pride to no ends, making him feel like he was your knight in shining armor, even if it sounded sappy. Right now however he could really use some more patience, because he was sure his own amount was slowly running out. When he came back home, he didn't really have any plans, except for the one you had already agreed on. You both wanted to cook something tonight, nothing fancy, simply craving some kind of 'bonding time' as you called it, even though he had immediately told you this could be done in a different way, to which you blushed. He loved making you embarrassed, almost craving the way your flustered cheeks would turn into a beautiful red shade.

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He knew those plans would change however as soon as he spotted you on the couch in his living room. That itself wasn't something new since you lived here, but the attire you chose was rather.. unfair. He was supposed to keep it in his pants tonight, yet he could already feel himself rising against the fabric of his sweatpants at the view of you in a black shirt of his, oversized on your way smaller body. Yet that exactly did it- because that was all you wore, apart from your flimsy pair of pastel blue lace rimmed panties. You raised your head from out of your book and he was a goner as soon as he saw those eyes.

"Babydoll you're being really unfair right now." He groaned as he sat down on the couch, making you bounce a bit next to him. You looked at him confused, his patience snapping. Maybe it was his frustration that had filled up his mind during the day, or simply his habit of taking what he wanted when he wanted it, but soon enough you found yourself on his lap, your legs on either side of his. His hands were fast to reach under your, or more so his shirt, growling when he felt your bare breasts underneath his fingers. You really were asking for it.

Stop. Mission abort. Cancel all open tasks. Shutdown, emergency-

With a sigh the young boy detached himself from you, running a hand through his hair rather agressively. Even though he would usually not feel too bad about his actions, especially with you, considering he felt rather safe and comfortable around you, he had to remember the small argument you both had the night prior. It really hadn't even been an argument if he was being honest, and it was basically all on him that night, yet he felt like he needed to second-guess his actions now. It had been a simple question really, admittedly a fair one at that, however, it also was one he rather feared answering. Yes, Jeon Jungkook was actually scared of a mere question.

'Why won't you kiss me?'

Well, yeah. Why wouldn't he? To answer that would mean to expose himself, to open himself up, to be vulnerable- and even though he knew deep down that you would never use anything against him in an almost predatory meanor others in the past had, he couldn't shake the feeling off. The fear, of what he couldn't tell. He simply waved you off, telling you that you both didn't need those sappy gestures, and you had simply nodded, accepting that, even though he knew that you felt hurt by his answer. Hell, he felt hurt by his own answer. And what had hurt him even more was your reaction to it; somehow he wanted you to be offended, to openly dig at his wounds, to scratch at his scars and make him spill his blood into your hands. He didn't want you to feel like he only loved you physically, like he only wanted to own your body, because he craved so much more than your touchable form. He wanted to build his home into your very soul, wanted to surround himself with your voice and live in your very heartbeat- yet it didn't matter how romantic and oh-so poetic his own thoughts could be. It didn't matter at all if he couldn't say it.

He looked at you, internally cringing at the way you looked at him, utterly confused. You'd gotten so used to him using you that it made his own saliva taste bitter, making him crinkle his brows a little. "I-" He started, yet took a deep breath, his eyes aimlessly dancing over the plush carpet, analyzing the various shades of light brown it presented to him. Right now he hated it. Hated how it made his apartment, your apartment feel like home. He hated how it did fit into the living room even though he'd complained about you buying it, arguing that you started to take over his life back then when you both didn't even date each other. He hated how he fell in love with it after he'd seen you lay on it with your phone in hand, the small white fan in the corner of the room softly blowing your hair and clothes during the summer. He hated how he remembered spilling his soda on it one day, freaking out because he knew even if he would cover it up you'd notice, you always noticed. Just like now. Because the hand you'd placed on his shoulder as a form of comfort had never felt so heavy on him, like a brick trying to force his entire back down. "M' sorry.." He simply grunted out, putting his head in his hands.

"What're you sorry for?" You had laughed a bit uneasy, and he hated the sound of it. He always pictured himself as the man who was oh-so protective of you, yet right now he'd never felt so small. "Is it about yesterday? You don't have to change Jungkookie, I don't mind-" Yet he had to shut you up, turning a bit to look at you with a face melted into a vision of being thrown side by side by your own thoughts. This was exactly the issue. You didn't mind- and he knew that you didn't even lie about that- it made everything so much worse.

The nickname, the way you said it, the way you meant it- it all just punched his guts even harder. Instead of answering he simply took your face in his hands, placing his lips onto yours with so much emotion you could feel them trembling. His kisses turned into more than simple pecks, they turned into desperate cries of confusion, of insecurity, of so many things you would've never associated Jungkook with. Slowly your bodies fell into place again, with him laying you down on your back, a pillow falling down and knocking a fork down from the small table, yet none of you cared about it in that moment. As soon as you reached for his belt he'd grabbed your hand, holding them with such care. "No no- I-" He said, switching between kissing and talking. "I want to- no, I need to make love to you, yeah?" You squeaked at his sudden movement when he'd picked you up, trying to carry you to the shared bedroom, yet aborting that mission as well by simply sitting you ontop of the kitchen counter, the marbled stone cold underneath your butt. You gasped into the open air, the way he'd just lifted you with such ease making you feel so small- in every good way possible. Yet even though this wasn't the first time making out in the kitchen, this was new- to both of you. He had no clue what to actually do, exploring new territory as well as you did in that moment, never having gone slow before. Yet he slowly eased into it, his arms leading his hands over your exposed skin, fingers softly squeezing the flesh of your thighs. His kisses started to wander, caressing your neck, yet even though his dominant side was starting to show the more comfortable he got with what he was doing, you noticed a slight difference in his demeanor. His arms weren't limiting your movement, weren't moving you around to his hearts content- even though you would never complain about that- they were around you, his hands on your back, bunching up the fabric of his shirt in his hands, then letting go just to repeat like a kneading cat. "You're so sweet, so so sweet, did I ever tell you that?" He whispered almost like a secret, and you felt like he was bewitching you in a weird way. "Wanna keep you all to myself, wanna hide you like a secret." He said lowly, almost growled, and you felt yourself slowly fall for his word with every sound he made. "But I also wanna show you everyone, wanna show everyone how lucky I am, how I got the prettiest and sweetest of them all." He said, hands wandering up his shirt you were wearing, running over your soft breasts, squeezing them softly and relishing in the way they felt under his fingertips. He always loved your skin, even though you'd complained before how you disliked the slight chub on your lower belly, or how your thighs were thicker than most girls your height. Yet he couldn't find anything wrong with it, loving the way it gave you such a soft vibe and feel. This was you, every little flaw that you were seeing he saw as another thing to love about you, as sappy as it sounded. "You're my good girl, my best girl.." He said before he started to move your already ruined panties to the side, his fingers exploring your heat. "My only girl." He said, making you mewl into his neck, hands now grabbing his shirt for a change. He made you shuffle a bit closer towards him, standing between your legs while his tattooed hand pushed two fingers inside you, reaching to make you feel good, yet never going the usual pace.

"Jungkoo-ah- Jungkookie please-!" You sighed, and he simply chuckled, kissing your neck, down to your collarbone where he playfully nipped at the skin, loving the sounds you were making. "No no no, I wanna go slow yeah? Wanna make love babydoll, we got time.." He said, and you shot him a pout, making him laugh. "Come on I'm trying to be romantic here!" He said, and you reached for his jeans again- making him move your hands away again. "Nuh-uh. Good girls are patient. You can wait right, pretty girl?" He said playfully, making you pout again. He couldn't help but comply with you. How could he not? He loved you. He really did. Fuck, he really, really did. Undoing his belt and letting his pants fall to his knees along with his underwear, he reached for your butt, making you shimmy even closer to him so he could swiftly enter you, making both of you gasp out both in anticipation and relief from your side for getting your way.

The simple view he had of your form speared on his cock was the sole reason he loved every position that made him look at you. The picture in front of him just was too presious yet sinful to be wasted. He wished he could take a picture of it actually, yet he decided against it, having heard his phone fall out of the back pocket of his jeans before, and he was kind of too terrified to see his screen cracked yet. He also couldn't really think about it, the way your walls engulfed him occupying his mind almost completely. His arms encaved you, holding you against him as close as possible, creating a safe haven for you and your mindset. You always slipped into some sort of headspace whenever his praise and affection got to a certain point- something that had terrified you at first, making you feel a bit embarrased as well- yet Jungkook had assured you that it was completely okay and normal, having googled it someday back when he'd been bored on his phone. It was actually quite endearing that your mind trusted him enough to slip into such a vulnerable state, his pride feeding off if it to no end.

He wanted to go slow, yet by the end of it his pace had quickened to his typical ruthless tempo, making you gasp out bursts of breath against his neck, hands clawing at his shoulder blades though the material of his shirt, grabbing onto him for dear life, while on your fast lane to release. When he came himself his breathing got erratic from oversensitivity, yet he ignored it to bring you over the edge as well, even making you ride it out to its fullest afterwards. When you slowly deflated against him, hands simply reaching out for his body, he softly cooed at you, completely enchanted by you in your post-orgasmic bliss. Suddenly he laughed, resting his head in the crook of your neck. "God, why am I like this?" He said, soft smile turning bitter. "Can't even be soft for one fucking time." Yet your hand softly ran through his now slightly damp locks, head turning to look at him with so much endearment he could cry- well, he actually felt his eyes start to sting, but he swallowed them down.

"You don't have to, Jungkookie." You softly said, and he wanted to argue. "Don't change. You're perfect just the way you are. I love you either way. Doesn't matter if you buy me roses or screw me in the kitchen. I take any love you give me." He suddenly laughed, and his eyes turned into sparkling half moons, his bunny smile almost blinding you.

"God I love you."

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"Jungkookie?"

"hm?"

"I'm hungry."

"There's leftovers in the oven."

"You're not gonna treat me some chicken nuggets?"

"Tomorrow maybe. Its too late now baby."

"Come on, be a sweet baby-boy and do it-"

"Careful sweetheart."

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IT.IS.FINALLY.OUT.Thank you all so so much for waiting so patiently, I really didn't expect all of you to even stay, let alone shower me with all of your support- I really didn't deserve that! I hope I didn't dissapoint too much with it, since I didn't check for spelling errors :( I love you all, and I hope you're all staying safe and healthy during these times! Remember that spreading love begins with self-love, and self-love begins with small steps 💜

[authenticmiya]

Alone - Johnny Lawrence x Reader

Summary - Based on the song Alone by Heart, reader doesn’t know how to cope with Johnny putting all of his time into the dojo, and not into his marriage.

Words - 1.7k

Warnings - angst

The sparkles on your wedding ring could just about be seen as the moon lit up the apartment. Letting out a shaky yet frustrated sigh, the clock was still ticking, except this time, two hours had gone by. Johnny wasn't back, when was he ever back?

As it neared 1am, the debate of going to bed was playing on your mind, but there was no way you were going to sleep without talking to your husband, if he was that anymore.

"Come on Johnny, pick up." You sighed, trying not only his telephone at work but the stupid cell phone that you should've known he couldn't answer.

But not being able to use technology wasn't an excuse. It wasn't hard to keep a promise, in fact it wasn't hard to just not make the promise in the beginning. A knock on the door pulled you straight from your wandering thoughts. Looking through the peep-hole, you realised it was Miguel.

"Seriously kid." You groaned before opening the door. You loved him like a son, you really did, but you were not in the mood to socialise with anyone.

"Hi Mrs Lawrence, Sensei told me to tell you-" He began but you cut him off.

"Don't worry Miguel, this is the fourth time you've had to tell me that he's gotta do all of the paperwork, I get it. Thank-you." The sadness in your tone made Miguel feel bad.

"He's in the Dojo Mrs Lawrence, it's not my place to say but instead of waiting around for him to come home, why don't you just go down there?" Miguel suggested.

"I appreciate that kid, but I don't wanna start a fight." You admitted to the teenage boy, and you couldn't quite believe it because he hardly knew love himself.

"Fight for this love, you're badass." He chuckled before heading back over to his place. 1am and Miguel had only just left the dojo, so who knows when Johnny will be home. After the brief conversation, the time just went by extremely slow, but that didn't stop you from staying awake.

"I’m not having another night end with me being alone." You muttered, and it was as if god answered your prayers, because the keys jangled in the front door, and in stepped Johnny.

"Jesus Christ why are you sat in the dark babe?" Johnny laughed as he flipped the switch to the lights on.

"Till the moment I saw you them years ago, I had always got by on my own." You told him, twiddling your fingers as you sat on the couch. Johnny looked at you strangely, as he grabbed a beer from the refrigerator.

"I never really cared until I met you Johnny. Nobody cared for me, and I never cared for anybody. I spent years upon years, dreaming I'd marry a guy like you, and I got him in the end." There was no way you could cry in front of him.

"Listen if this is about me and the dojo, I really wanna spare that fight." Johnny sighed as he stood a distance away from you.

"Sometimes I reminisce on the good times we had. Before Larusso, before the alcohol, before this goddamn dojo Johnny." Now the words were just falling from your mouth.

"Don't mention that name under this roof again." He suddenly snapped, and now you had hit the nerve.

"How do I get you alone Johnny? Because I lost you the moment that asshole came back into your life. Don't try and sugarcoat it, please save me the bullshit. You're all I ever wanted and all I've ever had. Ever since Cobra Kai reopened, I don't see you. I wake up, you're not there, I go to sleep and you're still not there." It took a lot of courage to talk to him without getting mad, for nearly every argument that was made, was because of your attitude.

"You will always have me Y/N, but I have a business to run, I'm protecting these kids." Johnny swigged on his drink, also trying not to give you a nasty reaction.

"They're relying on me, they have nothing but karate to help them with their confidence, you would know if you were there." He suddenly came out with when you didn't reply.

"I'm relying on you too Johnny, you know your wife?" You began.

"And here she goes with the whole emotional card. Whatever." He rolled his eyes and turned towards the bedroom.

"'No I refuse to let you do this to me again. We need to talk about this." You grabbed his bicep.

"Every-time we try and talk, a certain somebody turns it into something that could've been avoided." Johnny said sarcastically.

"Yeah and you shrug it off like it's nothing." You pinched the bridge of your nose.

"That's bullshit and you know it Y/N, I don't need to be constantly reminded of shit that you get insecure about." Oh he had finally cracked into his frustrated and angry mode.

"So me missing you is being insecure? Sorry for committing a crime jackass." You crossed your arms over your chest.

"Here she is, little miss childish, once again." Johnny slammed the door to your shared bedroom, now leaving you to decide whether to follow after him.

"Oh for fuck sake." You grumbled, opening the door. He was getting some clothes ready for what you presumed was for after he had showered.

"We have neighbours, you don't need to slam the door so loud." You finally spoke up again.

"I didn't know you could slam a door quietly." Johnny didn't look at you.

"What's going on with you? Please just talk to me Johnny." You felt like begging for a life time. You just wanted your husband back, even if it was just the extra kiss in the morning. But he wasn't talking to you.

"This is getting ridiculous Y/N." He groaned.

"No what's getting ridiculous is that you gradually built a dojo, but gradually pushed me to the side and I'm sorry if you think I'm childish, and that I start a fight with you for no reason. I don't mean to fight with you, we're meant to fight together for crying out loud." Johnny was listening to you but he wasn't responding.

"I never asked for this, I don't deserve this." Johnny stood up, grabbing a towel from the drawers.

"And you think I do? When was the last time you actually checked if I was okay?" Johnny didn't know what to say, he knew he hadn't been the best of husbands.

"Miguel stopped by today, actually ever since the dojo opened he's come by quiet frequently, telling me the usual that you're doing paperwork." You began.

"Also told me I was a badass who needed to fight for this love, but it takes two to fight, and right now, it's pretty clear that I'm the only one even fending for this marriage." A single tear dropped down your cheek but you refused to let him see it.

"I'll leave you to shower." You left the bedroom and decided that maybe tonight you should just keep your space from him. Deciding that sitting around doing nothing wasn't an option, you just decided to take the trash out. It wasn't really a normal thing to do in the earliest of hours in the morning, but it was something.

Johnny felt his heart stop when he heard the front door shut, something telling him that you were going to leave for the night and just not come back to him.

"Shit." He scrambled off the bed, completely throwing the thought of a shower out of his head.

"Y/N? Babe?" He called out, but he didn't know you were only just outside.

"Shit!" He shouted, grabbing his keys, ready to drive all lengths of the country just to bring you back. As he opened the front door, you were just heading back in.

"Please, just don't leave. We can talk this through, you can't leave me Y/N, I need you. God dammit I'm an asshole, I deserved everything you said to me just please come inside and we can talk it out, no arguing, no nothing." Johnny had his hands firmly on your shoulders.

"Why the hell would I leave you? I took the trash out." You told him, he glanced around back to the trash-can noticing how it was now empty, and had a huge sigh of relief.

"And besides don't you think I'd have been gone a long time ago if an argument was the reason we ever broke up?" You questioned him.

"Yeah I suppose you're right, you put up with a lot of shit huh?" Johnny took in your appearance for the first time, in such a long time.

The way your hair was just in a messy bun, the fact you were in one of his shirts and a pair of sweats. The Y/N he had fallen in love with, had been waiting for the affection she deserved and he simply hadn't realised how long she had gone without it.

"I'm sorry." He began.

"This isn't gonna happen again. You're not just gonna apologise and I'll melt into you. Johnny you've gotta mean it, you've seriously gotta mean it." You pleaded.

"Shall we order-" You cut him off.

"It's literally 2am and all I want right now, is to relax. We're both hotheaded and we need to be able to talk about things without getting riled up with each-other." You could tell he was listening to you very intently and without hesitation he lifted you up in a bridal fashioned way.

"This isn't what I expected but I'm not complaining." You chuckled as he shut the door with his foot. The two of you settled down on the bed together. 

"I love you." You told him, the argument slowly floating out of the window.

"I don't think you have any idea how much I love you." He sighed, pressing a firm, passionate kiss to your lips.

"We'll be okay won't we Y/N?" Johnny sighed, draping an arm across your waist.

"We'll be okay Johnny."

[straykidsworldwild]

Duskwood

Phil Hawkins x MC

Part 2 (2/2) : MC and Phil have lunch but it doesn't turn out as planned.

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Heyy guys!! Here's (2/2) of part2! 😁

(I just made the collage. Credits go to the creators of Duskwood and owners of the pics)

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- Why didn't he want you to have a break? He asks me gently, sounding confused.

- Because I arrived late by one minute this morning, I respond to his question. I look up at Phil as I hear him chuckling. He doesn't believe me...

- Right… he says before looking down at me. I give him a look, showing him that I am being serious. That's enough reason for my boss... Oh, you're being serious? He asks me with surprise. I nod positively as I notice the exasperation growing over his face. What are you waiting for to change your job? He then asks me as we are walking through a small path. Green grass is surrounding it accompanied by flowers. There are two benches every 50 meters. It's one of the most peaceful areas in Duskwood. That's where I usually go by when I need to clear my head. It’s just sad, in a way, that it is next to might work… Oh well...

- Trust me. I looked everywhere. But have you seen a lot of job offers around Duskwood lately? I haven't, I answer to the man as we approach a wooden bench. We take a seat on it while he puts down his bag.

- You could work with me at the Aurora, he proposes to me, using a suggestive tone mixed with a hopeful one.

- Mmmh... I'm not sure it'll be a good idea, I reply and smile playfully to his comment.

- Why not? He asks me, looking a little disappointed. He's actually being serious...

- Well, one, because the others would start to wonder why I am working at your bar, I say as I pull one finger out. Two, will you still manage to work? Won't I be distracting you? I question him playfully, pulling a second finger out while smirking. I know he takes it seriously and I do too, but it makes the atmosphere lighter this way. There's no need to fall on an argument because of that… and Phil is the last person I want to argue with.

- Well, I admit having the beautiful sight you'll be giving me constantly will clearly take my mind off work but, I'm sure I'll manage, he responds with his charming smile, which is contagious, as he enters my game. It's impossible to not smile when he does. I smile as I feel my cheeks lightly burning. It's awful how easy he makes me blush... Phil begins to open it before I hear him rummaging in a plastic bag. Oh… I didn't take anything to eat… I look away, getting nervous. I don't get why he makes me so nervous. It's… a weird feeling. It's a crazy feeling. Here, for you, I turn my head and look at what he is holding to me. Oh…! Cobb salad with a fork, something to drink, he pulls out a bottle of water and gives it to me. I take it. And I heard someone liked dark chocolate so I got some, he tells me, pulling a tablet of chocolate out of his bag. It's terrible… I can't control myself. I can't stop smiling, appreciating his attention.

- My favorite! How did you know? I ask him happily as stars must be filling my eyes. I mean, chocolate is just everything! Phil laughs amused and winks at me. You asked Jessy? I demand him with surprise, yet, kind of… scared of his answer. I don't know why I'm scared about Jessy finding out I accepted to have lunch with her brother. Is this a date in the end?

- No, why would I ask my sister? He asks me back, frowning confused.

- Because she knows me well. And I thought you would have told your sister about this lunch, I simply replied to Phil, telling him my thoughts on how he might have done things before coming here.

- Well, I didn't, he answers calmly, shaking lightly his head left to right. I nod understandingly, keeping a small smile. Did you? He then asks me. I look up at him and start shaking my head negatively. Though, before I could say a word, I was being interrupted.

- MC? Phil? I widen my eyes in surprise to Phil before I turn my head to look at the person. She approaches us, smiling and looking confused at the same time. How…? What are you two doing here? Asks us, Jessy, coming to stand before the both of us. She looks at me with her usual smile, waiting for an answer. Oh God… What am I supposed to tell her? Will she take the truth well? What will she think? I hold onto my fork nervously as I give her a shy smile.

- I saw MC having lunch here by herself while I was walking around so I stopped by to talk a bit, responds, Phil, getting me out of this awkward and nerve wracking situation.

- Mmmh... Shouldn't you be at the bar? She asks him back, looking suspicious. It's hard to hide things from Jessy. Especially since she knows us well… Too well...

- It's pretty empty at this time, Jessy. It's noon. Why do you think I'm eating too? He says and asks her back, sounding calm but also a little annoyed that she stays here and asks all of those questions. I mean… I love Jessy but I'm going to die of nervousness here. I hate keeping secrets from her… Especially when it involves her brother.

- Right, she tells him, not so satisfied by the answer. When does your break end, MC? She then asks me.

- I have to get back in, in like... 15 min or so, I respond to her, looking up at my best friend after checking the time on my phone.

- Let me guess, your boss is being the same dick as ever? She tells me, looking sorry for me. Jessy knows absolutely everything about what my boss said or did to me or my colleagues.

- Bull eyes, I reply, nodding positively. I see Jessy weakly shaking her head left to right, upset with my boss. Oh! Oh, Jessy, before I forgot, could you stop by my mother's for me, please? She wasn't well because of… You know, the loss of my uncle, and I think she needs to take her mind off a little bit, I demand her gently as I know mom considers Jessy like her second child. I'm sure she would be happy to see her. Though, it was hard for me to mention Uncle Alex. Harder than I thought.

- Oh right, I wanted to send you a message. I am so sorry about your uncle, MC. Alex was amazing, she apologizes sincerely to me, her eyes showing sadness. Jessy knees Uncle Alex as well. Duskwood is a small town and, well, Jessy was often at home so she knew him too.

- Thanks… I thank her with a small smile as I frown sadly. I tried...

- Well, I have to get back to work before Richy thinks I quit, she tells us playfully. I smile at her comment. It's true, I think Richy would be lost without her at work. Don't be a dick to her, Phil. I'll know each of your moves, anyway, she warns her brother as she begins to walk away.

- Right… he simply says, sounding annoyed. It was almost as if he didn't mumble to himself. I hear Jessy softly laughing before she finally leaves. I follow her with my eyes before meeting Phil's ones. So gorgeous... So I'm guessing you didn't tell her either, he says with a smirk.

- We all have our secrets, don't we? I reply to the boy before winking back.

- We do, he agrees. The two of us continue eating our lunch as time is passing by. I don't have much time and I won't be able to eat anything before tonight. It's going to be long until then… I look up as I hear a car honking. A little breeze hit my face and pushed back some of my hair. A lock came over my cheek so I gently pushed it away. The sun is so bright in the sky today. You look tired, MC, he suddenly tells me. I do…? I'm not surprised...

- I didn't sleep well. I didn't sleep much. I couldn't with... You know, I answer to Phil as my lock of hair comes over my face again. Though, I couldn't mention my uncle a second time. I couldn't bring myself to do it.

With his hand, he reaches the lock of hair and pushes it gently back behind my ear. Oh… Once again, our eyes meet. As always, there is this connection. They're so deep and… Gorgeous. I mean… How can you not get lost in them? For a moment, we stare at each other as if nothing was surrounding us anymore. I want to get closer to him. I want to know him a little more than I already do. You can't imagine how strong the feeling is… But all of this is so scary. I notice Phil's eyes falling on my lips a few times, desire seen behind them. He is as eager as last night. Without controlling it, I smile at the boy before breaking our look. And back to reality… How can a simple look be so intense? Biting lightly on my lower lip, I feel some heat on my face.

- You're so cute, MC, he tells me with a smile, his voice sounding so… Deep and lovely. I feel myself blushing a little more to the sound of his words.

- And you're a little Devil because you do see that you're making me nervous, I tell him with a chuckle as I push him playfully. Phil laughs along with me before he grabs my hand in his. Oh… My body tenses up due to the surprise and the nervousness he is giving me. But it soon relaxes under his comforting hold. I look down at our hands loving the feeling of being held. Not alone. His hand is so soft and warm. I slowly move my hand and intertwin my fingers with his. Phil lets me do and actually holds it back with a firm, but gentle tight. It's so comforting. I look back up at him and see that the man has been staring at me for a moment actually.

- I do. But blush looks good on you, he suddenly tells me, commenting my previous sentence. Oh come on… How did my heart not give up yet? The two of us smile at each other, sparks certainly illuminating my eyes. I don’t need to see my reflection to know it… This feeling of happiness is enough to say how I feel about him. It’s actually betraying me...

- Hey, Phil, I suddenly hear an unfamiliar voice which gets me out of my thoughts. What…? I retrieve my hand from Phil’s and look at where the voice came from. A blonde is approaching us. Oh… I’ve seen her at the Aurora before. She was “close” with Phil usually. Didn't expect to see you out of your bar, she tells him with a flirtatious look. Right...

- Hey, Lola, I have a life too outside the bar, he responds to the girl, sounding just as annoyed as when Jessy was here. Actually, he sounded more than annoyed. But I can’t describe this feeling...

- Yeah, apparently, she tells him as she looks at him up and down with hungry eyes. Oh please… I look away, staying quiet. What are you doing here anyway? She asks him, putting her hands in her back jean pockets, winding-up. Like it’s not already obvious what you’re trying to do...

- I'm with a good friend, answers, Phil, not revealing anything about this lunch. Right… It’s better this way. Reluctantly, I look up at the girl and give her a small smile. The girl looks at me up and down, clearly judging or being bothered by my presence.

- Right... She says before looking back at Phil and smiles at him. Maybe I should go… I feel like I'm being too much here right now. Can I see you, tonight? I need a little distraction and I'm sure you do too, she asks and tells him with that same flirtatious tone.

- No. I'd rather not, responds, Phil, not even taking time to think of the answer.

- Oh come on, tell me you don't need to relax a little bit. I'm sure the last few days must have been stressful. I could help you with that, she replies with the same annoying flirtatious tone while biting her lower lip and twerking some of her hair with her finger. And Phil liked that…?

- No, it was pretty calm, he tells her, shaking his head lightly. My absolutely not confident self kicks in again… Is he telling her "no" because he knows I want to hear this? Is he doing it because he really doesn't want anything with her? Or will he contact her right after I go back to work? Is it just a play from him? I look away upset and thoughtful. It was going so well...

- Fine, as you want. You know my number if you change your mind, she tells him, sounding disappointed at first but quickly uses that annoying voice and tone again. Even better… Of course he has her number… Well, he can do whatever he wants. We're nothing technically. Just friends. And I'm not jealous of this girl. I just don't like it… The girl leaves us, swaying her hips. Oh God… seriously? Watch where you're going instead...

- I'm sorry… apologizes to me, Phil. I look up at him, disappointed and… I guess, hurt. I'm not disappointed by him. I guess I just don't understand why I didn't see it coming...

- No, it's fine, I say standing up from the bench. I mean, you're mister popular-with-women and it's obvious we couldn't avoid this… I say with a serious tone, a point of jealousy in my voice. I think it's the first time I ever hear this emotion in my own voice. I mean… I'm not jealous… am I? Well… I guess I am...

- No, MC, I'm serious. I don't… He quickly tells me, interrupting me while standing up from the bench as well.

- MC! I suddenly hear someone calling my name. Really? We can't be alone for 30 seconds? I turn around and see Angie approaching rapidly. Oh… I know we're next to the restaurant but why is she here? She should be working... Sorry to interrupt but I just wanted to tell you that you have 2 minutes left before the boss comes to look for you. I'm kind of keeping him in my sight so he doesn't come yelling unnecessary at you again, she tells me seriously, having my back. Thank God for having her as my colleague! She actually saved me from two situations… My boss and Phil's...

- Thanks, Angie, I thank my friend. The girl nods before turning around and starting to run toward the restaurant. I face Phil again, watching the boy looking at me with a small frown. He looks… A little nervous? Disappointed? I have to go, Phil. Sorry, I tell him while shaking my head lightly. Thanks for lunch, I give him a quick and very small smile. I turn around, not waiting for his answer and start to walk toward my work place.

- Will you call me? He asks me, coming after me. I stop and turn around again. Once you're out of work, will you call me? I think we need to discuss what happened, he tells me with a surprisingly pleading tone. Hum… Please, MC, he pleads me all of a sudden. I stare at him a little moment, actually surprised by his tone… Of his emotions. I'm lost… I'm not sure what to believe anymore. Maybe the lunch wasn't right after all? Or was it? So much happened in half an hour...

- Maybe... See you, Phil, I reply with a small nod. Phil lightly nods back to me all while he looks down. He’s... Hurt? It’s actually weird to see this expression on his face...

Without another word, I turn around and walk back to the restaurant before my boss comes looking for me. I already don't know what's going to happen since Phil "argued" with him…

My afternoon passes slowly… Slower than this morning. And just like my boss said, I couldn’t leave work before 6pm… Anyway, I’ve done my day, that’s the most important thing. I mean… One of the most. I wanted to go to my mother’s to bring her the little surprise and to spend some time with her. I wanted to see her. It’s been hard lately for the both of us. I need my mom just as much as she probably needs me. When I reached her front door, I knocked on it, but nobody answered. I knocked again, but still, nobody answered. I took my phone out and only noticed then that my mother had contacted me. Why didn't I look at my phone first…?

- “Hey, baby. I’m going to go see Sarah around 5:30pm so I don’t think I’ll be home when you’ll come see me. I’m sorry, MC.” I read her first message. Oh, she’s not home... “Jessica came to see me this afternoon. You told her to come, didn’t you? Well, I’m glad you did, baby. It felt really nice to see a familiar face and to talk about everything and anything other than the situation we are living currently. Thanks, baby.” I read her second message which brought a soft smile on my face. She’s still sad, I can tell, but she seems to have also realized that life isn’t done for her. My uncle is gone, but not us. We still have to live. That’s what Uncle Alex would want us to do anyway… I know it. I crack a small smile again despite the sad frown. Tomorrow is going to be another long and emotional day… I let my little surprise for mom in front of her front door and walk back home. We live ten minutes from each other’s house. I don’t need my car…

Three hours have passed and I am sitting on the floor of my living-room. A piece of paper is set before me, I am holding a pencil and the TV is on. However, I am not watching it. I only have it on to have some noise in the background. The night has fallen and a small warm light is illuminating the living-room. I am preparing my speech for tomorrow. I’ve been trying to write it for… For a good hour and half now. I have so much to say… And yet, I can’t find a way to say them. It’s hard to find the right words. I try. I wrote a dozen drafts already but all of them sucked. It’s so hard to say how I feel. I don’t open up like this easily. And it’s hard to recount a memory when I know that… It just won’t ever happen again. Not with Uncle Alex at least… I had so many good family moments with him and mom. Vacances… Festivals… When I graduated… My birthdays and Christmases… So many good and memorable moments. I think what blocks me is that, no matter how I try to put it in words, there's just not this magic or this thing that made this moment amazing for me. I just want it to be perfect…

Suddenly, I hear my cell phone buzzing. I gasp as I get out of my thoughts. I wasn’t ready to hear it buzzing… I look at the I.D. caller before answering the call.

- Hey… I say to my best friend. I sounded tireder than I thought… What time is it anyway?

- What did you do or say to my brother? She asks me with a confused tone, actually interrupting me. Huh? What is she talking about?

- Wh... I... I'm sorry, I don't follow, I respond to Jessy with a confused tone. I put the pencil down and lean back to lay against the sofa. I look up at the ceiling, frowning confused. Why is she asking me what I’ve done to Phil? What does she mean by that?

- Phil. Did you say or do something to him? She asks me again, reformulating her question. She sounded just as confused as before. And not upset.

- Why would I have done something to Phil? I ask her back, not answering her question. I mean… Phil is certainly the last person I would hurt… I know I left him kind of on a disappointed note, but… I had to go back to work anyway.

- MC, he told me, she says with a slightly annoyed tone. Though, it wasn’t an annoyed tone to tell me I am bothering her, it was more in a way saying “I know, just spill it out”. He did…? What?

- About the lunch? I ask with an unsure tone. Yet, a point of sorry is heard in my voice as I know that I’ve hidden this from her. And I hate it to have hidden something like this from my best friend… We usually say everything to each other.

- About everything, she responds. Oh… Well, there’s no need for an explanation then… I guess... I've never seen Phil like this for a girl before. I almost didn’t believe him when he told me, she tells me, still sounding like she doesn’t believe what he… Did or said to her. He's really trying, you know? She suddenly tells me. Oh… Trying? I mean, it's true that he did put in some effort for lunch earlier today and he did reject the girl… Lola...

- I'm supposed to call him, I just… I admit to my best friend before pausing. I didn't forget to call Phil. I’m going to call him. I don't hold grudges and I don't dwell on a situation that didn't turn out the way I would have liked. I’m not like that. I just wanted to do the speech first... I am writing what I want to say to my uncle for his funeral tomorrow morning, I admit to Jessy as I stare blankly at the white paper in front of me.

- Oh, MC, I'm so sorry. I thought... You didn't reject Phil? She apologizes to me before a brief pause takes place. Then, she asks me a question, sounding confused. Reject? Now I am the one being confused.

- Reject? How can I reject your brother? He never asked anything, I ask her before stating a fact. I mean, shouldn't I be the one who thought I would get rejected?

- That idiot, I hear her mumbling with a disbelieving tone before sighing.

- I will call him. I just need to finish this first, I tell her my plan sincerely and seriously.

- He told me about Lola, too, she tells me. Oh God… Please, don't mention her. He told me what she said and the way she looked at you. He didn't like it. He hated that she looked at you as if you were a cockroach ready to be smashed and how she talked to him before you. He doesn't want you to think what's not true, she explains to me seriously. She's having her brother's back… It’s not surprising. That’s actually good that she’s having his back. But... How much did he tell her?

- And what's not true? I ask her. He's a womanizer. He's good looking. He owns a bar. He likes girls. That's his nature to run after them, I reply to Jessy, feeling so unsure about myself. Wait… Did I really just tell her that her brother is good looking…?

- MC... She calls me gently as I hear lightly sighing. He rejected her for you. He even deleted her number from his phone. Don't you see what this means? She admits and asks me. I look down with a light frown. He did this? I think it's the first time he actually comes to see me at work because he needs to talk, she says with seriousness, a point of disbelief heard in her voice. Work? Wasn't she with mom? She must have gone back to work after...

- “Comes”? As calling? I question her, unsure.

- “Comes” as walking inside Richy's garage, she corrects me. Oh… It's true that I've never seen Phil going to Richy's garage except for his car, maybe? I'm not even sure about that...

- Phil likes me like... A potential boyfriend would like his potential girlfriend? I mean... Not like he likes Lola? I demand her with a slight shy and confused tone. Yet, some hope in my voice. I hear Jessy softly giggling.

- Phil is Phil. He has his way to do things, which aren’t always the best, and his past. But I can tell you he isn't playing with you. I'd be the first one to yell at him for hurting you, she tells me seriously. She's the best! Wait… But I would never let her choose between Phil and I if things go wrong. I would rather want her to side with her brother than with me. Their siblings bond is much more important. Even though she means everything to me as my best friend. Anyway, there's still something off...

- Wait... You're not mad? I demand her with surprise. I mean, I was expecting her to kind of yell at me for not telling her the whole thing with Phil. Or to just yell at me for having lunch with her brother and maybe more… If it ever happens...

- Why would I be? She asks me back, confused and surprised by my question.

- You're my best friend and he's your brother. Isn't it weird to you? I remind her and ask her with a confused tone. I'm just really surprised...

- Well, I’m definitely caught between two stools but, if you two like each other I can't stop that, she replies sincerely which makes me smile. Why can't I control myself?! I keep smiling crazily when something involves Phil and I. I must be so obvious how I feel for him... I feel my cheeks slightly burning again. It's awful how I can blush so easily with that guy... He was right, it's cute how you blush when someone mentions you both, I hear Jessy saying with a playful tone. What…?

- How do you know I'm blushing? I ask her with a surprised tone as I widen my eyes.

- I didn't but now I do, she says as I hear her laughing. She tricked me… I laugh along with her, amused by how much she knows me. She doesn’t even need to see me anymore to know my facial expression. Anyway, I'm not going to get anything done right now… Maybe I should call Phil first and then get to my speech.

- Thanks, Jessy. I think I'm going to call Phil now, I tell her gently as I keep a small smile on my face.

- Okay. I'll go then. But don't tell him I called to tell you all of this, okay? She asks me with a giggle. Oh, she wasn’t supposed to tell me? The little Devil… I chuckle at her comment.

- Of course, I agree with her. Oh wait! I suddenly stopped her before she could hang up. Thanks again. For my mother this time. She told me that she was going to see her best friend. I'm sure your talk must have helped her realize that things are still going on and that it is just a hard moment to pass, I thank and say with sincerity to my best friend, holding the phone before my mouth as I put her on speaker.

- No problem, she replies with her usual cheerful tone. Oh, before I forget, I'll need your help tomorrow night, she tells me rapidly, sounding excited this time. Just in time… I was about to hang up… Let me guess...

- For your dress as the birthday girl? I demand her even though I already know the answer. I smirk.

- Exactly! She exclaims while giggling.

- Of course. Can you come to my place though? Tomorrow is another long day for me and… I ask with an unsure tone before trying to give her an explanation.

- No need to explain. I'll be here at 7:30p.m., is that alright for you? She responds and asks me.

- Perfect! Thanks Jessy. For everything, I thank my best friend truthfully. I hear her giggling cheerfully as usual before we say our goodbye and hang up.

My head is just so full of thoughts right now… With being concerned for my mother even though she is dealing with the loss of her brother at her pace, dealing with the loss of my uncle at my own pace as well, thinking about Phil, thinking about my stressful job, or more about how much money my boss owes me for cutting my pay so many times, thinking about all the work I have to get done for college… There’s just so much at once. I feel like I haven’t been resting for weeks… Why is it so complicated? Everything seems simple when I’m with Phil though… His calm behavior is just so relaxing and just his presence in general makes you feel comfortable and safe and… Good. Jessy is right, I should call him. What else do I have to do anyway? And let’s not lie to myself, I’m dying to call him to hear the sound of his voice...

[tinyboxxtink]

"Black Magic" *Part 4*

Whoooooo! Okay alright here's 4, I don't know if I can get 5 up tonight but at least you'll have the whole "day". [you'll see]

YA'LL enjoy this because....it's gonna come crashing down. I'm so sorry. Maybe I should leave it here tonight. Yeah I might.

Also-- WINK! When you see it you'll know. 😉

@bookishfanfic

@stars-in-the-skies-world

@omgsuperstarg

@chasingeverybreakingwave

@gibbs274

@milkshqke

@wanniiieeee

@word-scribbless

@objection-argumentative

@aprildecker-blog

@lolliepopsicle

@madamsnape921

@stars-trash-18

Part 3

Part 5

-----------------------------

“Well!” he wiped tears away from his face and then yours before he gathered up your trash and threw it away. “ I think that's quite enough of the melodramatic stories today. Now it's time to show you my favorite place,”

He took your hands and let you further deeper into the park. You had never been this deep into Central Park before you don't think you'd ever actually been in Central Park, you've just passed it. You were kind of a shit New Yorker.

“Where are we going?” You asked as he pulled you faster down some steps until you reached what you could only describe as a “Cave”.

“You'll see,” he smiled as you approached the cave. You both walked inside and before you was something you never thought you'd see.

“Oh my god…” You said breathlessly. Are those…?”

“Penguins” You heard a smile in his voice as you stared. In front of you with a long glass tank encased in the stone. It was full of happy, smiling, swimming, penguins.

“How... why….why is this here?”

“Well the zoo is right next door.” He explained. “And they accidentally made the penguin exhibit about a foot outside of the zoo's zoning area. So, while it is technically part of the Central Park Zoo, this one area is completely free to the public. It beats paying $50.” He laughed.

“Penguins are my favorite,” you said softly as you just continued to stare at them. It was true. You loved penguins since you were a little girl and you had no idea why. They were just so cute.

“Mine too,” he smiled, taking his arms and pulling you into his chest from behind. They look so happy. And they're in little tuxedos. Which I highly approve of,” He joked. You giggled in response.

“I like to come here when I've had a really long day or a really bad day in court.” He continued to explain. “And just sit here and watch them; and imagine how much more enjoyable life would be as a penguin. Look at them they're so happy and carefree, not a worry in the world.”

“God wouldn’t that be nice,” You sighed. “No rent, no bills, no annoying job.” you have laughed, giving him a nudge

“And.. They are also monogamous,” He stopped laughing and turned you to face him.

“What?” You stopped laughing as well, giving him a stunned expression.

“Did you know that when a male penguin fancies a girl penguin he will look everywhere until he finds the perfect rock or pebble as an offering to said female. And if she accepts it, then they're together until they die.”

“So.. basically like an engagement ring,” You whispered. Oh god.. what was happening?

“Yeah I guess so they get engaged and married. Without the wedding of course.” He nodded.

“Can you imagine that? I mean they’d be pretty prepared already in their little tuxedos” you laughed, hopefully trying to change the subject getting away from marriage although you didn't really know how. “Rafael…”

Okay surely even if he was under this spell, was there kind of some kind of backstory? Did he think you had been together for a very long time? There's no way he was going to propose after one day was he?

“Don't worry carino, I'm not proposing. He laughed, noticing the panic in your eyes. "I'm not that crazy.”

“Right you laughed and nodded your head. “Of course. Because we've only known each other so shortly….?” You tried to ask in a leading way.

“Right. But if we're being totally honest,” he took your hands. “I think I fell in love with you the moment you walked in the door on your first day.”

You silently gasped.. Could that be true? Was that him making that up in his head? Did he have memories before today? Did he have real memories before today? How far did this thing go? Could he actually really be saying that? Your mind started swimming.

“I..” You looked into his eyes, searching for sincerity. Obviously it was there but you didn't know if it was fabricated or real. But any real form of sincerity was moot at this point. Right?

“Really?” Was all you could say back.

“Yeah,” he smiled while he stroked your hair. “Really,”

That was it you couldn't take this anymore. You Broke down crying once again, and threw your arms around him. You were holding him so tightly, as if he was going to disappear in front of your eyes any second.

“Please Don't leave me, you sobbed. “Please don't leave me,”

“Hey hey hey,” He took your arms and pulled you over to a bench in the cave. Then he sat you down and put both hands on your shoulders.” I'm not leaving you. I'm not going anywhere, okay? Never,”

“You can't say that,” You sobbed. You completely threw any thoughts of keeping this under wraps out the window.

"Why not?” He looked at you quizzically.

“Because….because this isn't real!!” You kept sobbing.

“What…? Baby you have to calm down,” He started getting really concerned.

“I….” You tried to find the words to explain it without sounding crazy. Then you realized it didn't matter.

“I...my roommate Chloe she's a...well she, she made this...stuff, that I put in your coffee yesterday and it made you think you're in love with me.” You realized you had said explanation a little too loudly, as the very few other people that were in the cave with you gave you strange looks and started to walk away. You looked at Rafael who was just staring at you in disbelief and confusion.

“What are you talking about?” He half laughed. Baby look I don't know what you think you did. But if you're talking about what I think you're talking about--- magic isn't real.”

“Yes it is!” You continued to sob. “I didn't believe it either. That's why I did it. I thought on the off chance maybe it would work but I didn't really think it worked like this” you gestured between the two of you.

“What, make an actual connection between us? Has anything you said to me today been a lie?”

“No” You started to calm yourself down.

“And I can promise you nothing I have done today has been a lie, or fabricated in any way,” He wiped the tears from your face.

“So again, I don't know what you think you did, but my feelings for you are real. The only magic here is the magic of true love,”

“See who says that?!” you cried angrily. “Nobody says that for real, Rafael. Not unless they're--”

“Under some kind of magic spell?” Rafael asked sarcastically

“This isn't funny!”

“Okay so what you're just saying is that tomorrow I'm going to wake up, and just think you're a normal girl and what? Think today was a fluke?”

“No.. you're not going to remember anything.”

“I really doubt that,”

“It's true! Why do you think I said back at Maria’s that I need you to hold on to this day? I need you to remember this day? I wasn’t just saying that to be cute.”

“Okay well I'm taking you seriously now. I'm committing this day to my memory this entire day even with your nutty little break down here.” He took both of your shoulders and looked at you seriously.

“Because I'm going to prove to you that this is not some kind of magic spell. It's me and you and our real feelings. I told you I fell in love with you the day I met you, that was before today. That was three months ago!”

Could that be true? Could this have just fast forwarded the time that it would have taken you to get here? Is he really going to remember this?

“Okay” was all you could say.

“Okay.” He smiled, pulling you into him again and kissing your forehead while stroking your hair. “I'm never going to forget you Y/N. I could never forget you,”

“Okay,” you repeated, believing him a little more this time.

Rafael glanced at his phone. Oh God it's four fifteen already,”

“So…? Do you turn into a pumpkin at 5?” You joked.

“No but I did promise Olivia that I would drop off some paperwork. Do you mind?”

Oh God you really don't want to face Liv again, at the risk of exposing your secret. But what else could you do?

“Yeah I guess that's fine.” You shrugged.

It definitely was NOT fine.

-----

You walked into the NYPD police station nervously, as if you were a hooker doing a perp walk. You hoped that maybe since Raphael had calmed down maybe Olivia would just think this morning was a joke after all. You hoped he wouldn't say anything.

“Olivia!” He walked over to her desk and still had your hand in his.

“Hey Rafa.. what is this? I thought you weren't dating your intern?” She frowned.

“Oh I'm not ... Apparently I'm under her spell,” He laughed.

Oh my God oh my God oh my God what…. Why was he being so flippant about this? Oh God.

“...Excuse me?” She asked him seriously.

“Did you get her in on this Y/N? Pretend that she has no idea about us?” He asked you while still laughing. You wanted to crawl into a hole.

“I don't have any idea about-- didn't you say this morning that you were kidding?” Olivia looked at you angrily.

“What? I don't remember this morning.” Rafael looked confused.

Oh God maybe it was starting to wear off and then forget-me-nots were working oh God oh God oh god….

“What is wrong with you?” Olivia put both of her hands on her shoulders, then she looked at you. “Did you actually do something to him?

What? No, I didn't do anything!��� You cried defensively, hoping she would back off.

“Liv back off she didn't do anything. Magic isn't real. What is wrong with you?” Rafael stood in front of you.

“Then explain how you feel right now???” Olivia crossed her arms.

“What are you talking about? We've been in love for months now!”

Oh shit. Oh GOD.WHAT?

“WHAT?” Olivia almost screamed.

"I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to overeat like this." He gave her a look.

“Oh that is bullshit.” She spat, and then looked at you over his shoulder. “You did something to him and I will damn sure figure out what it is,”

“Liv you need to seriously back off,” Rafael increased the space between the two of you.

Liv nodded, but mouthed to you over his head with a whisper. “I am going to figure out what you did and you're going to pay.”

You gulped and looked at Rafael who was still glaring at Liv. “Look Olivia, you need to get over whatever thing you have for me and just let me be happy.”

That was it! That was why she was so upset about this. She was in love with him too. Oh God. You suddenly wondered how accessible that spell that Chloe did was.

“I.. you.. we…” She stammered. “Here's your warrant,” Rafael tossed some papers at her and walked out the door with your hand in his. You looked back at Liv who was still fuming. That can't be good.

----

“Can you believe the nerve of her?” He scoffed as you walked out.

“Yeah totally,” You laughed nervously.

“I'm sorry about her. She doesn't know when to stop beating a dead horse,” He sighed.

“So you know she's had a thing for you? And you've never had a thing for her?”

“I mean there was a time when we first met that I thought maybe something could happen. But too much time has passed and I don't feel that way about her anymore, but apparently she still does.” He shook his head.

“And besides whatever feelings I thought I had for her went out the window the moment I saw

you,” he smiled, pulling you in for a kiss.

“Oh I mean since this morning,” he teased. But you knew he was right on the money.

“Haha. Can we please not joke about it?” You asked dejectedly.

“I'm sorry carino. Let's go get some dinner huh? Forget about this?”

“Yes please” You smiled.

---

He took you to his favorite restaurant Forlini’s and you two had an amazing dinner laughing, talking and discussing Broadway shows.

"Wait so you saw RENT with the ORIGINAL cast?!"

"Yeah…." He lightly chuckled. "I know, I'm super old."

"Oh I wasn't going to say that at all. I was going to say you are so lucky!!!!” You squealed.

“So you've never seen a show on Broadway?” He asked.

“Well...when I first met Chloe she was working as a PA for one of the directors of a show that had just gone to Broadway. It didn't last very long; it wasn't that great of a show. Except for the leading actor in my opinion,”

“Oh really?” he looked at you curiously. “What show?”

“It was called “Leap Of Faith”, I think? It was based on some movie about some televangelist creep con man, who fell in love with the sheriff and his heart turned to gold or some lame-ass thing like that. You rolled your eyes

“Oh really was it that bad?” he laughed.

“I mean, the songs were good and like I said the leading man Raul Esparza was amazing,” You smiled as you sipped your wine.

“Raul Esparza? You know when I was younger, people used to say that I looked like him.” He chuckled as he sipped his scotch.

“Really?? Nah I don't see it. You're way more handsome,” you smiled.

You continued to have a fabulous dinner so fun and easy, you almost forgot it was all fantasy. Before you knew it, Rafael was walking you to your door.

"Well I had a fabulous 'last’ 24 hours with you mi amor,” Rafael smiled.

“Yeah.. me too,” you said sadly.

“You sure you don't want me to come in?” He asked you with mischievous eyes.

“No, you better not.” You wanted so badly to let him, but you didn't want tomorrow to be jarring for him.

"Oh right I might wake up tomorrow and forget where I am," he teased, tickling you. You laughed while he was doing it, but the pain of really knowing he was right knocked you right back to sadness.

"Well good night beautiful. I'll see you tomorrow" He grinned.

"Yeah…." You smiled sadly thinking "not like this,”

He kissed you gently, but you pulled him in for a deep long passionate kiss, desperately memorizing every detail. His tongue, his mouth, his hands, his smell, his skin on yours.

"Wow, I should be under spells more often he chuckled. He gave you one last small kiss, and you held onto his hands.

"....Baby I'll stay if you want me to, you don't have to be so sad," He stroked your hair and gave you a reassuring smile.

"No…" you shook your head silently chastising yourself. "Let him go," you said mentally.

"No it's ok I'll see you tomorrow" you have him the bravest smile you could.

"Ok. Maybe tomorrow when you see you were being silly I'll sleep over," he winked, walking down the hall.

You slowly shut the door and fell down the floor sobbing.

Chloe came running out of her bedroom to check on you.

"Aw honey…."

"I love him Chloe,” you sobbed. “I didn't know how much or even if I really did before today but I really love him.”

“Oh honey. I can make more right now, even a bigger batch so it'll last longer!” She offered.

NO you shook your head sternly. "That's not fair to him"

"Well….it might be,” She gave you a hopeful look.

“What are you talking about?”

“Come on,” She picked you up and dragged you to her room.

She sat you on her bed as she went and pulled an ancient looking book from her shelf. You read the cover: “The Grimoire.”

“I borrowed it from my friend Maggie,” She explained. “Basically it's a master list of spells,”

“And she just let you borrow this?” You gave her a suspicious look.

“I told her it was an emergency.”

“Really?”

“Well! It was. Of the heart. She gets it she’s an empath and a romantic,” She assured you. “Anyway!” She turned to a dog eared page.

“Read” it she instructed.

You read the page: “ ‘Emotion Magnifier’....what is this?”

“It's the spell I used on Rafael.” She smiled.

“...What?”

“It wasn't really a love spell per say,”. She explained. “Those are frowned upon in the witch community. Y'know free will and all,”

“Wait so this didn't mess with his free will?”

“No ma'am! It just magnifies whatever somebody already feels. You just have to zone in on what emotion you want to draw out. So I used amorous feelings on Rafael,”

“So...that means...what exactly…?” You wanted to make sure you understood what she was saying.

“Well since he went so insane this morning, it magnified some already pretty strong feelings for you.” She smiled

“WHAT?!”

Your mind was spinning. Had he really been telling the truth about falling in love with you the moment he saw you? Has this actually just sped up the process of your relationship? Why hasn't he ever said anything? You've never really talked. How was this possible?

"So...what you're saying is…"

"He was clearly already smitten with you darling," She grinned even bigger at you.

"Oh my god….oh my god!!!!" You squealed. Maybe...maybe those feelings would be stronger than any potion, maybe he would remember today.

You went to bed that night with a hopeful heart.

-----

[purplellamanator]

Second part is up for my @shinranweek fic. Above is my AO3 and again here is the fanfic link. There will be one more part that I will post soon. Thanks for anybody that checks it out :) I'll also post it below the cut again.

As it turns out, the ever righteous Kudou-san could be quite the dictator. He determined when she'd have her meals and even when she needed to rest for the night. It made her feel inept and she wanted to argue out. Every time though, she'd bite her lip. It was as if her body didn't want her to and she got the idea she wasn't used to being waited on.

It was actually . . nice. At times she did feel in the same category as a child, but . . . someone was watching over her. Someone cared about her. Well- that's what it tricked her mind into thinking. The girl knew that Kudou-san had no emotional ties to her. He was doing this because he found her wondering around in a park and felt obligated after thinking he caused her to have a brain aneurism.

She wondered how much longer he would deal with her. Though it still had only been two days, there were no leads and she still couldn't remember anything.

"I didn't want you to overexert yourself today." His sudden voice broke her inner musings and her eyes snapped to where he stood before the kitchen stove, stirring something consistently. Blue eyes glancing her way and realizing he had her attention, he nodded. "We can go out and get you some clothes tomorrow if you're up for it though."

The girl sat there, silently for a moment. Honestly, she felt up to it today. Staying inside the house was making her skin crawl almost and she figured her body wasn't used to it. But . . . "I can't ask you to do that for me," she spoke softly as she watched him cook.

"You didn't. I offered," he replied easily before his brows furrowed again. It seemed he was having trouble with whatever he was trying to make. . . Oddly she wanted to get up and help him but she was sure that was overstepping her boundaries. She already felt guilty that he was cooking for her. Kudou-san appeared like he didn't do it often but was making an effort for her. It would probably be best to suck it up and just swallow down whatever he placed before her.

This time, the scrunched features were from the way he caught the girl staring at him. "R-Ran?" He stumbled over the name embarrassingly, not at all used to or comfortable calling her that nickname quite yet.

Eyes widening and realizing that she was still staring blankly at the poor guy while he attempted to make their dinner, her cheeks heated a bit and she glanced at the wood of the table. "Have those detectives figured anything out?" Ran said suddenly to cover up the awkwardness.

Kudou-san frowned and shook his head as he began grabbing plates down from the far cabinet. "Not yet. There're still looking though," he spoke quickly hoping his first words hadn't discouraged her. "These things can take time."

Well she hadn't remembered anything and how much of his 'time' was he willing to waste on this? Surely he didn't plan on allowing her to live here with him forever. He'd probably realize how much of a bother this really was and take her back to the park where he originally found her, leaving her there alone like he was releasing a stray dog.

Suddenly Ran didn't feel so hungry and after the plate of whatever this was supposed to be was placed in front of her, she really didn't want to eat anything. Schooling her features however, she sucked it up and cleared the plate. He had helped her so much- the least she could do was eat the dinner he tried really hard to make. And somehow she knew and understood just how hard he really had tried.

She was found out however when Kudou-san took one bite and wrinkled his nose in disgust. "This tastes like crap," he admitted and she actually laughed at how bluntly he had said those few words. The man just seemed amazed that she had even ate the whole dish in front of her. He went so far as to scrape his in the trash.

"I can get better at that," Kudou-san promised so seriously but all she could do was chuckle at how earnestly he said it. Didn't he understand she was lucky to even have a meal tonight?

"So, since I don't think I'm the best choice for a shopping partner, I invited a couple friends along."

Ran glanced at him surprised but then again he did have a point. She highly doubted he wanted to spend his entire evening in a mall packed full of girls clothes shopping. "Where will you go though?" she questioned curiously. She couldn't help but wonder, after all, Kudou-san was the only thing she recognized anymore.

He shrugged. "Probably the book store- that's them right over there," he pointed ahead.

Standing some feet away still was a girl and a guy. Both seemed to be about her age though she still wasn't sure what that was quite yet. Doctor Araide had estimated her age to be around her early twenties from the development of her bone structure.

The two had yet to realize they had company and Ran's eyes widened from the language sprouting from the twos mouths'. If it wasn't the heavy dialect that caught her attention, it was the crude and abrasive names they called each other. The girl whom she had assumed would be so kind with her dark hair tied up with a ribbon was shouting equally as loud as the annoyed looking dark skinned boy.

It took Kudou-san clearing his throat before either party even began to quiet down. When they did, they both appeared equally embarrassed as the other at being caught in such a heated discussion. That didn't stop them from continuing to glare at each other from the corner of their eyes.

Eyes narrowed as well, Kudou-san directed their attention to the one unfamiliar face. "This is Ran. Ran- this is Hattori Heiji and Toyama Kazuha-chan." All the while the scowl was firmly in place on his features at the fact the two couldn't get it together just for a few minutes. They still had yet to stop frowning at the other as if they were straining themselves terribly from not yelling again.

Feeling the aggravated tension, Ran swallowed the trepidation down her throat. "It's nice to meet you both," she began and was thankful she bowed her head slightly so they couldn't see the wince she gave from how uncomfortable she sounded. When she straightened she very nearly fell over.

"She is cute." Ran had lifted her head only to come face to face with the girl whom seemed to be scrutinizing her closely. Realizing just what the girl said, her cheeks enflamed brightly.

"Stupid. You're embarrassing her," the man- Hattori? snapped. That got Kazuha-chan's attention off her fast and Ran took the time to scoot closer to Kudou-san.

It took Kudou-san clearing his throat again before either person quieted down again; both looking equally annoyed. "Ran needs clothes so I figured you could help her with that," he directed to Kazuha without any explaining. He probably wanted to get it all out before they started arguing again.

A card was suddenly placed in her line of sight and Ran stared at Shinichi, confusedly. "Just use this. Buy whatever you'd like." He placed the card in her hand considering she hadn't made a move to do so herself.

She stared at the card for a second before glancing up at him. "Where are you going?" she asked again but didn't pay any mind to how the other two stared curiously. Nothing against this Kazuha girl but she wanted to stick with the only familiar face she had and that was Shinichi.

"Hattori and I will probably wonder around. Whenever you're done or if you need something, Kazuha can call me," he shrugged to show her it was no big deal. He was but a phone call away.

This time she did blush a little from how attached she was appearing. She barely even knew Shinichi yet she already felt like he was the only thing she did have. Her only constant in the past few days.

Still not really liking that she'd be walking around without him, Ran nodded slowly with a small grin and they were off. It was quite embarrassing how she kept turning back while they were walking away. She did it every few feet until she couldn't do it no more and each time Kudou-san was standing there looking back at her as if he knew she needed that reassurance that he was right there.

If Kazuha noticed- and Ran was positive she did, she was respectful enough not to comment. And Kazuha simply led the way though she remarked multiple times she was from Osaka and didn't have a clue where all the good shops were. They decided they would stop at any place that seemed promising.

Shinichi stared at the girl's retreating back as it got further and further away. He watched her go until she got lost in the crowds of the other mall shoppers and he could see the girl no more. For some reason he felt a nervousness go through him now that she was out of sight.

"Not bad, Kudou."

And Shinichi startled at the reminder he was not alone either. A brow raised at the sudden comment.

Hattori, whom had also been glancing that way at first looked back at him with a knowing smirk. "She is cute."

Cheeks tinting a light pink, the half lidded glare he sent the Osakan man was impossible to hide. Why was he even surprised? He should've known better than to admit that to Hattori of all people. Still, as a last defense, the man said, "I never said she was cute."

"You said she was 'very pretty'. Same thing," he waved off.

The fact his face got redder had him mildly annoyed. "And you told Toyama-san," he accused.

They were already milling about the walkway and avoiding other passerby as they went. "Man, I live in the same house as that woman. Not that I told her myself- she overheard us talking but you think I'm going to lie about that? Trust me; it's not worth the argument."

Shinichi shook his head but honestly, he wasn't that bothered. Ran was pretty but it didn't change the fact that this was a case. The woman wouldn't want to live with him forever and anyone could see the emotional toll this was having on her.

"Have you found anything out? How about those two detectives?"

He shook his head. "Nothing. They're looking into any accidents that may have recently happened as well if anyone's filed a missing persons report but so far nothing."

Hattori pocketed his hands. "Have you tried tracing her memory back? Can she recall anything?"

"I think anytime she gets close to remembering anything, her mind goes into a panic. It's like she doesn't want to remember," he whispered the last part to himself but was sure the other man heard it anyway. It was a little disheartening though. What was something so terrible that had happened to her that she didn't want her memories back? He couldn't decide if it was the accident itself or her actual past life that had her mind subconsciously shielding her. That's what troubled him the most. Maybe she didn't want to know.

"Jeez, I'm starved!" Kazuha said as they waited together in some line of the food court. Just a minute ago she had texted Hattori letting him know to meet them there. Admittedly Ran was anxious to see Shinichi again. She had fun going through the stores and just being with another girl but she missed that one familiar face. She briefly wondered if he'd be mad by how much she spent and she glanced at the multiple bags she carried in her arms.

A little uncomfortable at first, Ran hadn't wanted to use that credit card given to her. It didn't help that nothing bought in a mall came cheap- even something so small as a pretzel she discovered. But after that, Ran wasn't sure how long they had been. She honestly had lost track of time and was enjoying herself. She was quite fond of this Kazuha girl and she liked her humor even more. Even though Shinichi had given her free reign with his bank account, she was sure to only swipe it on things she really liked. But had there been some unspoken price limit on how much she could use? Would he be mad? Now she was a little nervous to see him.

So trapped in her thoughts, she failed to notice her surroundings. She didn't catch any of the mindless chatter Kazuha was spewing beside her. She barely caught on to when the cashier was asking her what she'd like. So when the people surrounding her started gasping and a commotion began, she hadn't know until Kazuha gripped her arm tightly getting her attention. Blinking, she looked first at the girl in confusion before realizing she was staring somewhere else entirely.

Right before them was a man standing clad in sweats and a t-shirt. He appeared disgruntled and crazed and if that weren't enough to show he wasn't thinking, it was the fact he held a gun tightly in his grasp as he pointed it at them.

Ran could only raise a brow. Unlike in the doctor's office or when she met those detectives, fear was not her initial reaction. If anything, the surprising amount of irritation and annoyance that hit her almost made her giggle. Some man was pointing a gun at her and she wanted to laugh?

Then, "Step aside!" the man practically spit out and she realized he was talking to her. And now she was understanding the gun wasn't for her- it was for Kazuha.

The girl beside her stiffened at that but finally released the grip on her arm, as if silently giving Ran the okay to move out of the line of fire. Clearly the target wasn't her so why should she get shot?

Ran didn't move. If anything her stature straightened and her stance became even more firm where it stood. Ran didn't understand the way her body was having her react. Truthfully, she had wanted to move. She didn't want to die and the guy had a gun. But something was telling her she didn't have to be scared. That she would be okay.

"Move!" He barked again and there were gasps in the crowd when he cocked the gun.

Kazuha was tugging at her arm again now only gently. She was asking her to move like everybody else that had fled away from her the moment they realized she was the target. To get out of the way. She didn't want her to get hurt. "Ran-"

Taking the hand that was shoving her away lightly, Ran gripped it and practically threw her down behind her as she stepped forward. She didn't know what was coming over but she understood what her body wanted perfectly. She didn't have to be afraid and she didn't have to move.

Of course that didn't go over so well with the man standing in front of them and his face contorted in an angry snarl as he prepared to shoot.

Time seemed slower in that moment. So slow, Ran actually found the time to feel her lips tilt up at the sides the barest bit. Her eyes scanned his shaky stance and her grin almost broadened. People probably thought she was crazy but she didn't care in that moment for some reason. Not for the first time she felt trapped in someone else's body.

Then he pulled the trigger.

Screams rang out around them- the more prominent one being her name. But she barely paid them any mind. Her body was already steps ahead of her thoughts and instead of the pain of a bullet entering her, she felt nothing except maybe the breeze of it whizzing through her hair where her head had once been. The man didn't have time to blink before she was already before him and dispelling the gun from his grasp. She didn't really know what she had planned to do after that. Fight the criminal in hand to hand? She'd surely lose but now she wasn't so sure of that fact. If anything, her muscles seemed prepared- welcomed the challenge as if she had been holding back too long. Her body felt something familiar and it was latching onto that.

But by far, she was not expecting herself to turn the tables and actually bare the gun in her grasp. That's how she found her stance. One hand tightly clenching the grip; a finger on the trigger and ready to pull in a heartbeat on the criminal now turned victim. What scared her most was that the weapon was actually comfortable in her grasp.

In the still slowed pace of analyzing her own stance, she barely registered the man had dropped to his knees with his hands above his head in surrender. She couldn't tell if she even cared by the way the barrel of the gun followed his every move. Her eyes narrowed the slightest bit, curious as to if he would try to overpower her but the small grin never left her features. It seemed the idea . . . excited her. Yet she was almost at war with herself. Like she didn't want to pull the trigger but she would if she had to.

And then claps resounded around her and she jumped as she glanced around startled. As if snapping back and connecting her body to her brain again, she realized where and what she was doing- and couldn't of been more appalled. They cheered because they thought she was a hero. But she knew the truth. There was nothing victorious or gratifying about wanting to hurt another human being.

Shinichi and Hattori had arrived before the police did but it wasn't long in between. While the man was getting cuffed and Hattori was prattling and worrying over a frightened Kazuha, Shinichi watched her with stunned but puzzled eyes. She couldn't help but feel they were accusing and so she wouldn't meet his gaze anymore after that. Even as they were walking out of the shopping center and saying their goodbyes to the other couple, he stuck tightly to her side.

The car ride had been a silent one so it wasn't until they reached his house that he finally said anything to her. And it wasn't anything she was expecting.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Ran swallowed. Did she? Or would that only serve to make her feel worse when he agreed and called her the monster she was?

"I won't make you. I just want to be sure you're okay," he admitted a little reluctantly.

"Kazuha-chan was the target," she dodged. So if anyone wasn't okay it should be Kazuha.

Shinichi sighed. "It was an old client of Hattori's. The man had come to him because he feared someone was stalking his wife and hired Hattori to find him." Here the man shook his head a little sadly. "Hattori found the culprit eventually but it wasn't in time to save the man's wife."

Briefly, she wondered why Shinichi had to tell her something like that and she had to hide her watery eyes. And client. . . ? Client for what, she had to wonder.

Unaware of her confusion he continued with, "Hattori felt so much guilt over it but the client didn't see it that way. He's being questioned now but I think it's obvious he figured Toyama-san was an equal loss to Hattori as his wife was to him."

"When you say a client to Hattori-kun. . . you mean-"

Shinichi blinked a bit confused before they widened in realization. "Hattori's a detective- like me." He said it so matter of factly as if it were the most obvious thing; as if she should've already known this.

She hadn't.

A detective. Like him. Shinichi-kun is a a detective.

A strange type of panic gripped her heart and for some reason it was mingled with betrayal. Her whole reaction was completely unwarranted though she was sure. She wasn't nearly as freaked as in the doctor's office and she had no excuse to feel betrayed. Shinichi owed her absolutely nothing. If anything, she owed him.

But now blanks were being filled in as Ran processed exactly what this meant. For the entirety of the three days she had known Shinichi, she was constantly asking herself why she was here. What made this stranger walk up to her when all she had been doing was sitting on a park bench? It was clear to her now though that it was due to his own instincts. He was a detective and she saw now that when he discovered her she hadn't only smelt of gasoline but of another case.

Heart beating faster and faster as she broke this down, she had the urge to run. Here she thought this was a friend that saw someone whom needed help. That would keep their promise and keep the involvement of police out of this. Feeling stupid now, the understanding that he agreed to that because he was in fact the police disturbed her greatly. She felt duped.

And she didn't appreciate it one bit.

"Ran?"

The woman startled from her thoughts, completely forgetting that he was standing there and they were holding a conversation. The man looked to be waiting for a response of some kind but she didn't know what she should say; didn't know what she could say. In all honesty, she didn't want to speak to him. The urge to just make a jump for the exit was all she could detect. Were the police already on their way over? Would she be detained? Had he understood what she had felt only moments before when she had almost shot a man?

At this point she was worrying him. She could see it in his face, especially when he stepped closer and asked, "Is your head hurting again? Do you need to lay down?"

Laying down was the last thing she wanted to do.

"You lied to me." It didn't come out angry. It didn't even sound like an accusation; just a fact she was simply saying.

He didn't seem to think so obviously by the way his brows scrunched, puzzled and the almost offended expression he bore.

"You told me there would be no public involvement with this and the entire time you were a detective yourself." The saddest thing was that she couldn't find it in her to be mad. She wasn't surprised he had lied because in all honesty, who wouldn't of called the police? At the time it was blatantly apparent she had been in an accident of some sort. She gave off multiple signs that she needed medical attention and she didn't even have any recollection of her own identity. The best place for her would've been in the hospital's care until they could identify her.

"I don't work for the police!" he hurriedly said before she could give this wrong idea anymore thought. "Well. . I mean- I do sometimes but not directly. I'm my own name," he tried to explain when she could only give him confused glances. "I'm pretty well-known so I work independently."

Well, that explained his arrogant manner when he introduced himself. But then that means. . .

"So you're not hired by the police?" she asked almost meekly.

Shinichi shook his head with a small grin that tilted up only one side of his mouth. "Not right now, no."

Her cheeks turned a light pink. "Oh."

Her heart shot right into her throat when he suddenly took her hands in his. "I made you a promise, Ran." He was speaking so firmly and she could see in his eyes that he thought breaking that promise was not an option.

The need to apologize was all she could think of now. Though she hadn't come at him angrily and annoyed, she had accused him. Words wouldn't come out of her mouth however and as she stood there fumbling in her thoughts wondering why she couldn't voice what she wanted to, her gaze kept flitting from their hands to his cerulean eyes that seemed so close to hers. Her chest was still racing but she got the feeling it wasn't for the same reason as before.

What was wrong with her? Maybe she did need to lie down.

The doorbell rang and Ran wasn't too sure why but a certain amount of relief hit her as if she were saved. Saved from what though she wasn't yet aware.

Dropping her hands at the noise, he glanced towards the front foyer. "It's probably Hiabara."

"I still need to introduce you," he continued and the casual air he had about him made her even more antsy if possible. Clearly nothing was wrong if he was acting perfectly normal. Why was it that she was reacting weirdly?

She needed a moment to gather herself. As it was, her cheeks were still slightly flustered and she had no idea why.

"I'll go grab the clothes," she declared and before he could even say a word she was already strolling from the room. It wasn't all just an excuse. They really did need to grab the clothes because after all, it was more than likely the only reason the other woman was there.

Haibara Ai, as Shinichi told her, was his next door neighbor. She was also the person who was kind enough to lend her some clothes until she could go out and buy some for herself.

Making sure not to take more time than normal, Ran returned to the living room with the clothes freshly cleaned and folded inside a laundry basket. The two were already deep in conversation but it seemed their voices were lowered purposefully for the moment Shinichi saw her enter the room was when he straightened and greeted her- almost pointedly.

The other woman, whom she guessed was the neighbor, was facing away from her when she first entered. It wasn't until she turned around that Ran fully took in the light brown hair that was almost red and also cut short. They both seemed to be about the same age but there was also a certain maturity this woman gave off. Her eyes were a hardened teal almost that seemed like they could cut through anything.

And then the woman's gaze fell on her and all of that fell away.

The steely glint in her gaze fell away in an instant as her eyes widened almost impossibly. Eyes doing an automatic scan, Ran watched as her body stiffened to the point that she looked like a string strung so tightly and was prepared to snap. Almost subconsciously, the woman took a step back in what looked like a retreat. It almost seemed like she was trying to hide behind Shinichi.

The smile Ran had originally had on from about to meet this woman for the first time slowly fell away. The brown whicker basket in her hands seemed to feel heavier and heavier by the second. "Um. . . Thank you for the clothes. I-I washed them." She placed the clothes on the coffee table as she stood there uncomfortably. The tension was so thick in the room she was wishing she had made some other excuse or even agreed earlier with Shinichi that she needed to lay down.

Haibara didn't say a single word in response. Ran was sure the woman hadn't even heard her. The only form of acknowledgement was the way those teal eyes watched her every movement as they were stretched wide in what appeared to be terror.

Shinichi cleared his throat. "Haibara, this is Ran- the one I told you about," he admitted. "Ran, this is Haibara Ai. My neighbor."

They both heard the words but it really just passed from one ear right out the other. The two both seemed to be locked in some sort of stare off. Only thing, Ran couldn't understand why. This woman was staring at her as if she were the scariest thing she had ever had the displeasure of seeing.

When Haibara still appeared to be anything less than willing to actually speak to her, Ran forced a smile. "I- I think I'll take a quick shower. Thanks for the clothes- nice meeting you," she said softly but kindly before turning and slowly strolling from the room.

She really had originally planned on going to her room to shower. But something inside of her, that she choked up to the same person as in that mall earlier- a more dishonest and curious side, didn't go far. Only taking a few steps down the hall to give the appearance of her exit, Ran quietly made her way back to the doorway hidden and out of sight.

It was quiet in the other room, to the point Ran almost suspected she had been found out and she should just leave like she had said. But then. . .

"What's with that attitude?"

It was Shinichi and she figured he took so long to speak because he wanted to make sure she actually had left. He spoke differently though. Where as with her his tone was usually patient and calming, this voice was marred with irritation and disapproval.

Even more silence stretched on like that and Ran was beginning to think this Haibara Ai was mute. She had still yet to hear the other woman's voice.

Shinichi seemed to get annoyed after that. "Why wouldn't you talk to her? Do you have to be so rude all the time?" The last part was said a little frustratedly as if the way this woman spoke to Ran was a big deal.

"You need to call the police."

If it weren't the actual words that were spoken, Ran would've stiffened either way. That voice had not been one she was expecting no matter how mature and stern the girl appeared. It was very feminine but the underlining hardened edge to it wasn't hard to detect. But her words however. . . Call the police? Over what? Shinichi voiced as much.

"She's dangerous," Haibara said curtly.

"That's ridiculous! You don't even know her-!"

The interruption came swiftly.

"She's one of them."

Silence again. Ran leaned closer to try and pick up on anything but she couldn't even detect their breaths. One of who?

"Do you have any proof?" His voice was tight and controlled but it was clear he forced out the words between clenched teeth.

Haibara sighed. "You know my proof, Kudou-kun."

"That's not proof. Even if I wanted to believe-"

"You said she dodged a bullet." She paused for added effect. "She disarmed a fully grown man. Is that normal?"

"Being trained in the martial arts is not odd. And you seem to know a lot about her. A lot more than even she does at the moment so if that's the case, please do tell," he snapped almost sarcastically.

"Rum."

Ran could practically feel the tension. Could just feel the way he stiffened and his breath hitched from just that one word. But what did it mean? If she was supposedly dangerous and this the reason, she didn't get it.

"S-she's-" His tone was shaken from just more than being stunned. Truthfully she thought she heard fear.

"No, but she's almost a close second."

"Who is she?"

"A personal favorite to the second in command and a pampered lap dog," Haibara grunted in distaste not at all hiding how demeaning she meant the comment to be. "When she was first introduced in to the Organization and members saw how closely she was sheltered, rumors started going that she was kept around for. . personal entertainment. She rarely showed her face any more than Rum himself- I've seen her just once. But when she did, she was never alone."

Personal entertainment. . The words echoed around her thoughts and Ran swallowed down the nasty thought.

"But it was quickly proven that she was more than just a pretty face. One by one, members were just suddenly dropping- all of which were proven later to be undercover agents. CIA, FBI- there were numerous."

"Sorting out the traitors," Shinichi voiced his thoughts.

There was agreeance in Haibara's tone. "Her innocence and beauty that she radiated made it easy for her to be underestimated then- made it easy for you to underestimate her now," she said pointedly. "She's a master of deception; manipulative. When work isn't getting done and the boss wants results, they send her in."

"But she doesn't know that."

"Or that's just what she wants you to think. You're not thinking of her as the dangerous criminal that she is."

"If she does have her memory and she does in fact know who she is, then what would be her reason to fake that?" It sounded rhetorical like he wanted her to answer to prove a point but the woman answered anyway.

"To kill me. I turned my back on them and that's not something the Organization will take lightly," Haibara responded. "And you've been hiding me as well as trying to expose them."

"If what all you say about her is true, wouldn't you be dead already. And not just you but me as well for helping you? You always say the Organization works quickly, don't you?"

There was quiet after that and Ran got the feeling the woman didn't know how to respond to that. Deep down she probably felt that Shinichi was right. He really was after all. She had no idea what either of them were talking about. Organization? Rum? Trained operative? None of this was making any sense to her but if they knew who she was, shouldn't they tell her?

"I'm telling you, you don't know what you're dealing with," Haibara bit out. "We can't trust her."

"I trusted you. What is the difference between you and her?" he argued.

"The difference is that I didn't kill anyone."

"I'm sure others would debate that."

There was a sharp intake of breath and Ran assumed it was Haibara taking offense. Releasing a shaky breath she finally said, "Even if that were the case and she really can't remember- what will you do when she does gain her memory? After all of what I told you, you know what she's capable of now."

"Then we have until then to show her a better way."

"This could jeopardize everything we worked for," she whispered harshly and it was clear she did not agree at all. "She's practically the princess of the Organization. They'll have every agent searching for her and allowing her to stay here will only paint a giant target on our backs."

Disregarding what the other woman just said, Ran heard the rustle of the whicker basket being moved and she prepared to make a hurried escape. "I'll let you know if anything changes with Ran-" It was obvious he was giving her a dismissal but not for the first time that night, Haibara interrupted him.

"Champagne."

Again, she had to wonder what was with all the alcohol. Was it some code? She had already been saying Rum every few seconds and now she was talking about Champagne.

"What?" Shinichi sounded as confused as her thoughts. And then Ran slowly caught on.

"Her name is Champagne."

Just narrowly making an escape before she was discovered by the neighbor or Shinichi, Ran actually ran to take a shower. That's what she said she would do and how fake she'd look if she returned with dry hair.

She entered the kitchen in a fresh pair of clothes and loose, wet hair to find Shinichi- again, standing over a stove almost hectically. There was a book open on the counter beside him and she watched with amusement as he kept glancing hurriedly from the pages back to the stovetop again.

He had no clue what he was doing.

She shook her head before stepping further into the room. "What are you making?"

The real question was, 'what was he trying to make'. It was obvious he was struggling and she actually felt guilty for wanting to laugh.

Shinichi turned to face her a little jerkily and she really could see now just how much trouble he was having. "Uh. . curry. . I think. . " And something bubbled making a loud popping noise from the pan making him jump his attention back to the stove.

He thinks? How can he not know what he's making?

Before she could even understand what she was doing, her body was already taking more steps till she stood beside him. Now she had a perfect view of the less than perfect . . curry? She wasn't even sure now.

He scoot over a bit while giving her a slightly annoyed glance. "What are you doing-?"

"Do you need help?" It was a question but she was already sliding the wooden spoon from his hand before he could even respond. Their fingers brushed a bit but she didn't pay it any mind and began stirring the pan slowly.

Shinichi appeared to want to protest but again she was already moving before he could get a word in. "This is a bit too high," she commented almost to herself as she turned the burner down and then she was swiping a finger in the sauce and tapping it on her tongue. Her features scrunched the slightest bit and she hoped the man hadn't caught that.

Looking at the recipe displayed in the book, Ran took some of the spices Shinichi already had set out and mixed some more into the mix. Tasting it again she nodded before angling the spoon towards him so he could taste. "It was a little too spicy," she spoke as he blankly swiped a finger into his mouth with the sauce. "See? Is that better?"

He bore an amazed look and she hoped that could only mean he approved.

"If you'd like, I can finish this if you want to set the table," she offered and almost laughed at how fast he made an escape. Honestly, she didn't think she could watch him struggle over cooking her another meal again. And for some reason, she didn't mind cooking either. If anything, she'd say she rather enjoyed it.

And Ran wasn't sure how long she took to fix- finish the curry he had started. But when she finished and was wiping her hands on a dishrag to tell him it was ready to start serving, she found he was already standing in the doorway watching her.

From the way his cheeks flushed and his eyes flit away, it was clear he hadn't been expecting her to turn around just yet. How long had he been standing there and watching her? Was she doing something wrong?

She glanced away nervously herself. "It's done," she spoke softly.

He cleared his throat. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to stare," and she was stunned to hear him actually apologizing. It wasn't like he had really done anything wrong anyway. "I just feel I need to keep an eye on you," he explained and unknowingly to him it struck a nerve.

"Because I'm dangerous." And his head shot up surprised.

Shoot. Her face turned a bright red and her gaze became even more intensified on the kitchen tiles. If she had wanted to keep her eavesdropping a secret it was too late now! Why had she said that?!

She peeked up curious to see if he was angry.

He wasn't. He looked only calm and relaxed. "I thought you would've heard."

Ran only watched him, a bit perturbed. He's not mad? That conversation had obviously been meant to be a secret one.

Shinichi sighed. "No. You're not dangerous."

"But you both said I was a dangerous criminal," Ran argued.

"Haibara thinks that but that's only because she just met you."

She raised a brow. "You just met me," she pointed out.

"Yet your the closest thing to a friend I have- besides Hattori," he shrugged at that. "So no, I don't think you're dangerous."

The girl blushed. He considered her a friend? "I was afraid to tell you earlier- about the mall," she clarified and swallowed her nerves. "When I was fighting that man. . " She shook here head. "I- I felt at ease. I felt relaxed; at home. Like killing a man was second nature to me." And as if her mind was just realizing this for the first time, her indigo eyes began to water.

When the man must've seen she was in the brink of crying, his own eyes widened worriedly. But that didn't stop her tears like he hoped.

Lower lip trembling, she looked at the floor again. "I felt like a monster. I was standing there pointing a gun at that man and all that was running through my head was how I could actually pull the trigger and not care. Who could kill another human being- take a life, and not care?"

Shinichi remained quiet, still not quite sure what to say. He hadn't expected her to start talking about the mall. But the quivering voice and guilt ridden face she wore almost broke him. And it made it apparent to him that she really had needed to talk about it.

"I am a monster," she finished. "Your friend is right. I am dangerous and you should have me locked away."

Almost angrily, the man stormed closer to her. "You are not a monster. You're not anything like those black crows."

"But you can't know that. I can't fully remember what I was like," she said dejectedly. "I can't even remember my own name."

Ran startled when he gripped her shoulders firmly.

"You decide."

Her eyes went wide.

"You decide what your name is. It's your choice."

"The fact that you're so repulsed by the possibility of killing anyone is all the evidence I'll ever need. I don't believe you're capable of ending another person's life," he spoke truthfully with his face as serious as she'd ever seen.

She choked. "But in the mall-"

"Did you shoot him?"

"No, but-"

"Did you want to?"

"No!" The thought almost pained her and made her voice come out horror filled.

"Then I don't think you're dangerous," he concluded easily.

He made it sound so simple. Made everything so clear when it really was not. Neither of them had any way to know if she was innocent or not. His own friend he obviously consulted with warned him against her. How could he still feel the way he does?

He tilted her chin up slightly so she would look at him and the action made her heart jump again. "You're thinking too hard. Let's eat and I think you should rest."

She disagreed wholeheartedly. She felt perfectly fine and she had already gone a complete week without an incident. But she couldn't find it in herself to argue with the man. And especially, for some odd reason, when he touched or looked at her like that.

Ran nodded slowly and he dropped his hand with an arrogant smirk as if he knew all along she'd agree. "Well, let's start dishing it out."

And she was stuck staring at his retreating back wondering, not for the first time, what was he doing to her?