#i can. kinda get why the first five have the same look: even if its eh

[anominous-user]

they need to stop using this specific color scheme

[samandcolbyownme]

IM ALSSSSOOOOOOO IN NEED OF MORE SOLBY FICS OR LIKE FLUFFY SOLBY SUGGESTIVE BUT NOT SMUTTY UGH ITS A CRAVING

Warnings: alcohol, mentions of reader being drunk, flirtatious vibes, secret relationship, throuple, sexual tension, flirting, maybe some innuendos

Word Count: 1.7k | unedited

“What’s up guys, Sam, Colby, and our good friend, y/n, come at you live from our living room.” Colby laughs, “I’m starting to regret this decision, but we asked you guys to send us some juicy, mouth watering truth or drink questions to answer..”

“And that’s exactly what we’re going to do.” Sam nods, looking at you and Colby, “Who’s ready to get drunk at-“ he checks his watch, “Five p.m on a Tuesday?”

“Me, because I’m not answering shit.” You laugh, “No I’m kidding.”

“My money is on y/n being the first one even slightly tipsy.” Colby points to you and you scoff, “Really?” You motion to Sam, “My money is on him.”

“You guys were betting?” Sam asks, his tone kinda sad and, normally, you would go with the joke and give him a kiss as an apology, but this time, you can’t.

The fans don’t know that you managed to bag both guys who are sitting on either side of you, and you hope that you can make it through this without giving up that secret.

“I mean, we can.” Colby smirks, “Twenty bucks says y/n will be drunk first.”

“Thirty bucks says Sam will get drunk first.” You laugh and Sam scoffs and looks into the camera, “You guys better help me out because I got forty bucks on Colby.”

You lean forward, watching the comments on the laptop screen flood in, “You guys have no faith in me at all, do you?” You laugh, “Let’s find out. First question.”

You pull up your phone, going into the shared note, “Mm, okay.” You reread it one more time before setting your phone in your lap, “what was the last thing you lied about?”

Colby raises his brows, “I can’t say.”

“Why?” You ask, knowing the last thing he lied about was calling you their good friend.

“Because, I can’t.” Colby pours some vodka into the shot glass and takes it, cringing as he takes a sip of his truly, “Oh, fuck. I hate doing these.”

“Well I’m safe because the last thing I lied about was what time I was getting up this morning.” Sam laughs, “I was going to get up early, go for a run, but..” he glances at you, “my body needed more sleep so.”

“Well you were up late editing so.” You shrug, “Understandable. Anyway. Sam. Go.”

Sam pulls up his phone, scrolling through the note, “Ah ha. Okay.” He brings his phone down, “You guys sent in some good ones.”

Sam tilts his head back to rest against the couch, “Have you ever sent a text to the wrong person, and if so. Who was it for and who did it go to?”

“Goddamn. Getting specific, I see. Um..” Colby thinks and you raise your hand, “I accidently sent a text to you when it was for Colby.”

You look into the camera, “No. it’s not what you think.”

It’s exactly what they think.

“I um..” Colby laughs, “I accidently sent a text to my mom one time, don’t ask me how I managed it because to this day it still haunts me, but I meant to say, fuck, what was it.” Colby snaps, “Oh, it was something along the lines of I hope you’re ready for tomorrow sweet cheeks, and it was supposed to go to Sam.”

“How-“ you laugh as Colby cuts you off, “I don’t know! I do not know.”

“Oh my god. Is that why your mom calls you sweet cheeks?” Sam leans over laughing, “I’ll have to ask her about that.”

“Moving on.” Colby brings up his phone and sighs, “Time for me to win this bet.” He puts his phone down, bringing it back up to read the question correctly, “

“Have you ever caught one of the others during it?” Colby tilts his head, “I assume they mean doin’ the nasty, so that’s what I’m going to go with.”

You immediately lean forward to fill your shot glass and Sam does the same.

Colby scoffs, “Not one of you is going to explain?”

“Nope.” You clink your glass with Sam’s and you both take the shot.

You groan as you bring your can up to your lips to get rid of the straight alcohol taste, “I’m good on that.” You smirk, tilting your head, “My turn.”

You scroll and stop, smirking as you tilt your head back, “Have you ever had a threesome?”

All of your answers are yes, and all of you give it away with the smirks and blush laying on your cheeks.

“Do we have to say when or explain anything?” Colby asks and you shake your head, “Nope, just a yes or no answer.”

“Theeeeen….” Colby laughs nervously, “Yeah, yeah I have.”

“Yup.” Sam smirks, “Anyway, okay. Um..” He picks up his phone and you lean forward, watching at the chat blows up.

User1: I NEED TO KNOW WHO

User2: THEY ALL HAD A THREE SOME

User3: I THINK THEY DID IT BUT I JUST CAN’T PROVE IT

“Hey.” You laugh slightly, “No body. No crime, right?”

——

You were trying your best to pretend like you were sober, but you infact weren’t.

Sam and Colby had been trying to win this bet, that wasn’t even serious, but little do you know, it’s not about money at all.

The money is for show.

“How are we feelin’ guys?” Colby asks with a slight laugh, “Drunk yet?”

You shake your head, “No, I feel.. I feel fine.”

“You sure?” Sam squints, “because half of that bottle is gone and I know that it was more you than us.” Sam laughs and you point to him, “You’re drunk.”

“I am not.”

“You are.” You smirk, biting onto your lip to stifle your laugh. You wanted to kiss him more than anything but you still had some level of restrain left, even if you were a little drunk.

“I won’t admit it until you admit it.” Sam argues and you roll your eyes, “Good luck.” You scroll on your phone, “Okay. Back to the game.”

You giggle as you read over the one question, “Okay. Have you ever made a sex tape?”

“Not yet.” Colby mumbles into his drink, “I mean.” He lifts his head, “No.”

Once again, chat goes absolutely berserk.

User4: DID HE JUST SAY NOT YET COLBY

User5: COOOOOOLBYYYYYYY

User6: Sam. We’re waiting for your answer give it to us

User7: NOT YET AASGHDKDLDL COLBY

You laugh, looking over at Sam, “They want your answer, b-“ you correct yourself, fast, “Sam.”

“I mean, no, but do I want to?” He smirks and shrugs his shoulder, “Who knows.”

“Oooooooh.” Colby drags out and you look at him, “You’re drunk.”

He nods, “Yes ma’am. I am.”

Sam jumps up, arms raised, “Fuck yeah!”

“You’re drunk, too!” You point to Sam and he plops back down onto the couch, taking a long sip of his truly, “Yeah, okay. I am.”

You look at the camera, “So.. since I’m the last one to announce that I am in fact kinda drunk.. doesn’t that make me the winner?”

“No! You can’t-“ Colby scoffs, “not fair! Not fair!”

User8: Y/n wins!

User9: TEAM Y/N TEAM Y/N TEAM Y/N

User10: BAHAHAHAA THIS IS SO FUNNY

“Seeeee!” You point to the screen, “They say I win. I am the winner.” You look between Sam and Colby and you lean back, watching as Sam stands up, “I’ll be right back. I need another drink.”

“Get me one?” You ask and Colby chimes in, “I need one, too.”

Sam groans as he walks away but turns around to smile at you. You shake your head and look at Colby, “you should scare Sam when he comes back in.”

“How?” He asks with a laugh, “Oh!” He hangs over the back of the couch, flopping to the floor.

“What are you doing?” You look over the couch at Colby and he puts his finger to his lips, “I’m not here.”

You turn around laughing and your phone goes off. You lift it up and see that it’s a text from Sam.

I wish I could kiss you

You smirk at the text, typing back your reply.

I wish I could kiss you. You both look so good tonight.

You set your phone down and watch as Sam walks back into the room, handing you your drink. He looks around, “Where’d Co-“

“Raahhhh!” Colby jumped up from behind the couch, scaring both you and Sam.

“Jesus fuck- Colby!” Sam yells, “You almost got your drink served hard and fast.” He furrows his brows, slowly turning around to sit down next to you, “Wait I-“

You and Colby both die laughing and Sam shakes his head, “I didn’t mean it like that.”

Sam extends his arm out behind your head and you let out a sigh as you tilt your head back, “I think.. I need a nap.”

“A nap? It’s only..” Sam looks at his watch, “Seven.”

“So bedtime then.” You laugh and Colby scoffs, “You don’t want to keep this party going?”

You look at him and shrug, “Depends on where you wanna go, Colbs.”

“I have an idea.” Sam chimes in, “But I’m just- see you guys in the next one! Bye!”

You watch as Sam turns off the live, “You know they think-“

“Let them think what they want.” Sam plops back down next to you and grabs your face. He pulls you in for a kiss and leans back, “I’ve wanted to do that all fucking night.”

You turn to look at Colby who sits down next to you, “Your turn.” You smirk and reach up to cup his cheek, “Been wanting you all night, too.”

Colby leans in, pressing a kiss to your lips, “I don’t want to rain on anyone’s parade, but this alcohol kicked my ass.”

You and Sam nod, “Yeah.” You say as you nod, “I feel you on that one.”

“First one to wake up has to initiate it?” Sam tilts his head and you lean in, kissing his cheek, “You are so on.”

——

I hope you liked this! Thank you sooo much for reading! I love you all so much, and I’ll see you in the next one!

Likes and reblogs are majorly appreciated!

[wildrangers]

I have a matt smith request, this is like a part 2 kinda on your "surprising matt you're pregnant" fic, can you do where they call their friends/castmates to tell she's pregnant and to see their reactions. Thankyouuuu

I’m thinking this is going to be a small series of sorts but nothing extensive. I have a few other family-focused asks waiting to be written so I’m planning to have it be the same reader character. That way, it’ll be its own little universe of sorts but also each can be a stand alone. Here is the pregnancy surprise ask, a part one of sorts 🙂

Tropes & Topics: pregnancy, fluff

Word Count: 1.2K

“But love, everyone is going to be so excited!” Matt argues, pouting dramatically. 

“I know Matt, I’m not saying they won’t be” you reply, resting your hands on his chest. “But I’m still in the first trimester and I want to keep things small right now. Our parents know, as does your sister who I’m so thrilled will be little one’s godmother. That’s plenty for now, okay?”

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry to push” he apologizes, covering your hands with his own. “I’m just rubbish at keeping secrets.” 

“Think of it like an NDA for a show” you suggest and he chuckles, nodding. 

“I feel awful not telling Fabs, especially since we know we want him to be the godfather.” 

“Why don’t we plan to tell him first then?” 

“Brilliant idea, my love” he replies, kissing between your brows. 

So, two months later and officially into your fourth month of pregnancy, you were putzing around the kitchen, putting the final touches on dinner for the small party you and Matt had planned. Everyone but Fabien had been given a start time of six so when the doorbell chimed shortly after half past five you knew who Matt would be greeting. 

“Oh it smells lovely in here!” you hear Fabien compliment from behind you a moment later and you turn to greet him with a smile. 

“Why thank you! How are you doing?” you ask, giving him a long hug. 

“I’m well, it’s generous of you two to host this before the first leg of international shooting for season two.”

“Oh we’re happy to, it’s always wonderful having everyone altogether. I know you lot will get to see each other all the time but since I’m not on set…” 

“I mean you could finally quit the job you don’t really like and join us,” Fabien suggests, smiling. This was not a new conversation amongst your and Matt’s friends and little did he know your bags were packed alongside Matt’s in your bedroom. 

“Time will tell” you allow, grinning at the surprised look on his face as Matt joins you two in the kitchen, handing Fabien a glass of wine. 

“Well it’s not a no like usual, so I'll certainly take that. Matt, are you finally getting through to your lovely fiancée?” 

“You know I always defer to her wisdom” Matt smiles, squeezing your shoulder before stirring the pot left on the stove. 

“I guess that’s a good segue to some exciting news” you grin and Fabien’s eyes widen. “I’m actually going to Spain with you all!” 

“No! You cad, I can’t believe you didn’t tell me!” Fabien chastises Matt before wrapping you in another excited hug. “Oh, we’re going to have the best time, Y/N.”

“I’ve never been to Spain and this seemed like the perfect time to since I actually did recently resign from work.”

“What?! Why?” Fabien asks, eyes bulging even wider somehow. 

“Well, we need to focus on packing up the apartment here so we can move into our new home just outside the city” Matt explains, chuckling more as Fabien’s shock deepens. 

“I didn’t even know you two were thinking of moving, this place has been a staple of yours for years now. What’s changed?” 

“Well, we want to make sure there’s plenty of room for the baby” Matt says casually and Fabien nods along until the words finally hit him.

“Are you being serious?!” Fabien asks, hands clapped over his mouth. 

“Surprise!” you laugh and Fabien’s eyes begin to moisten. “Oh Fabs…”

“Oh mates, I’m so happy for you both” he replies, pulling Matt into a firm hug, clapping him on the back a few times before releasing him to place a kiss on your cheek. “Wait, who else knows? Is that why I’m the only one here?”

“Just you other than immediate family” you reply, looking pointedly at Matt. 

“Oh gosh, I can't wait to be Uncle Fabien!” 

“Uncle is great, but how does godfather sound?” Matt asks, voice thick with emotion. The two share a long look as Fabien’s eyes dampen further.

“Matt, you’re joking” Fabien says quietly, eyes darting between you both. 

“Fabien, you’re one of the best men I’ve ever met. I can’t think of anyone else that we'd rather be their godfather” you say earnestly and Fabien brushes a few tears away before pulling you into a tight embrace. 

“I am beyond honored,” Fabien says, clasping Matt on the shoulder. “Oh gosh, everyone’s going to flip!” 

“I know, right? I’ve wanted to tell everyone for months now” Matt replies eagerly and you shake your head, smiling, as you take the pot off the stove and begin reaching for the last platter you need. 

“Y/N, stop, let me” Fabien cuts in, easily reaching the top shelf you’d been stretching towards. 

“I’m pregnant, not an invalid” you say fiercely, glaring at him while you take the serving dish. 

“Oh lovely, I won’t have to be the only one who hears that line now” Matt says enthusiastically and you stick your tongue out at him. 

“I keep saying it because it’s true!” 

“Yes, but we love you and we love little one so let us take care of you both, please?” Fabien requests and you sigh, stepping aside and letting the two men lift the heavy serving platters of food just as the doorbell rings. 

“You don’t say a word Fabien, okay? We have it all planned out” Matt warned and Fabien mimes zipping his lips. 

Soon enough, everyone’s seated around the table and Matt’s tapping his glass to get everyone’s attention. “Thank you all so much for joining Y/N and I, I’ll make this quick. I know we lured you here as this being a send off for the start of season two but it’s a bit more than that. This is actually going to be our last party at this place, as we’re moving to a home outside the city shortly.”

“Oh congratulations, how exciting” Emma smiles and you thank them as everyone choruses their agreement. 

“What, are you two about to pop out a couple of kids now since you’re moving to the suburbs?” Olivia jokes and everyone laughs, you loudest of all. 

“I don’t know about a couple but definitely one this year” you say slyly. There’s a moment of silence while everyone processes your words before your friends erupt in celebration. 

“Oh my gosh, I would never have said anything if I knew, I’m so sorry!” Olivia insists, cheeks flaming red. 

“No, no it’s fine that was actually a perfect set up so thank you” you reply sincerely. 

“When are you due?!” Tom questions, scooping food onto his plate before passing the bowl around. 

“Late May so we’ll have either a little Taurus or Gemini” you reply, excited. 

“Oh, she has to be a Gemini, that would be amazing!” Phia says emphatically and you laugh at her enthusiasm. “Matt’s too stubborn already, a Taurus wouldn’t mesh well.”

“Wait, she?” Matt questions, brows raised. “Do you know something we don’t know yet?” 

“No, no, just a feeling,” she explains. 

“Well, I think it’s a boy,” Ewan jumps in. 

“Place your bets now, we have that appointment in a little less than a month.” 

As your friends debate around you, Matt squeezes your hand drawing your attention to him. “I love you, darling” he says quietly, placing a gentle kiss to your cheek.

“And we love you” you reply and his face breaks into that familiar grin that sends your heart racing each time you see it. You’d started saying we since surprising him with the pregnancy announcement and it never fails to earn you that beloved smile of his. 

taglist: @slayraxes-blogs @littlehorrorlover @decaffeinatedparadisepost

[nightviator]

OK so hear me out. I'm going to tell you how I think they could make the subway scenes without making lila and Five a thing, and also having a really good character arc and making them show trauma signs. It's a bit long.

Like five would be as traumatised as he deserved to be from last apocalypse, having flashbacks and etc. Lila would see what he experienced to end up as the assassin he was and would think about her parents and the way she wanted to kill him because of her family but ended up being ungrateful for having one. And they could have great character arcs.

Lila and Five go to that subway. Five sees that thay lost the way to go back home and is really frustrated. Actually he is using that anger to hide the fact that he is scared. Traumatised. Because he has seen it all before.

He was there before. Lost, without power to help his family. He is scared. That time he had handler and there is now no thing such that. What if he has to wait another 45 years to go back to his family? Does he even has that mental capability? What if he dies before getting the chance?

He really is scared. Scared because all of the thoughts he had in that past apocalypse are coming back to him. But this time it really was his fault. He can't tell that he is a kid just saying no to his father (not that he could use it to convince himself before, the guilt was too much). He can't say he had no idea of what time travel can make. He had promised himself to never do such a stupid thing ever again and he did it. This time he abandoned his family when he knew they were in a bad state.

So he is scared and angry at himself and at lila and everything and ptsd and stuff and stuff and. Lila sees it. Lila can see what made the murder of her parents, the murder of her parents. She can see how traumatised he really was. And she wants to help. She was responsible in this because she wanted to be more than just a wife and mom and she kinda made him to come here.

But as the time passes five is in a way worse situation. He is loosing it. Also the one who wants to help him is the daughter of handler. Five is so paranoid. What if it was all a plan? What if he never really ran away from the first apocalypse and is still working for commission? What if this is mind games of handler? And if not, what says that Lila can't be another handler? The ones that find you when you're at your worst and try to act like they want to help.

So here we have paranoid Five and Lila who wants to help and understands how truly traumatised he is. She is also scared that Five may run away when she is sleep because he can't trust her now,and because of that she has to always keep an eye on him.

This makes him even more sure that something is up with Lila. And when they go to that very first apocalypse, he goes to his young self without paying attention to gun to make sure that its not all just memories made by handler and he is truly seeing this and the things he experienced after season 1 were real. He is gets shot and lila is the one who saves him.

She is like:"you fucking idiot!!! What are you doing?! You literally were the murder of my parents and now you're acting all crazy and are about to get both of us killed?!"

And he looks at her, yelling that he NEVER wanted those to happen, and just for the first time cries because he thinks all of the things he has done was because of handler but also thinks he is making those up to feel less guilty of being a murder for such a long time and also coming to this subway but at the same time he is paranoid and etc etc.

Lila sees how much guilt he had and also feels bad because does she really miss her family? If yes, why wasn't she more grateful this time? Why did she ran away from them then?

And she sighs, tries to stop nagging at such a situation and adds a mental note to make him go to therapy once they are out. If they are out. So he is all tired, and she goes to help him with that wound, and he just stares at her, disgusted and shocked and saying that don't you DARE to touch me.

Lila is so confused buy apparently this made Five really believe that Lila is just like handler and is trying to use him and make him feel like he needs her just to get closer to him. Is he going to let someone else touch him? Even go near him? Absolutely not. No. No way.

So he runs away, and she barely makes it to not miss the subway by using his powers. Five is there, bleeding but still refusing help. He is about to die, and then she won't be able to copy anything and will probably stuck here forever, and she is the one who made this happen. Such a selfish person she is, thinking about herself in this moment when five is DYING, she thinks.

And when they are both at the last level of disappointment, the subway finally stops in were they wanted. Home. Their home.

It's been such a long time, 7 years.

Lila jist picks Five, running out. Five survives and Lila has a emotional hug with Diego (who wanted to fix everything) and her children and they sob and they talk and they really fix problems.

And then one of the siblings makes a comment on Five, saying how stupidly he trapped himself in a thing related to time again as if he is addicted.

Lila is about to just rush and kill that person. She yells that none of them never really cared about how traumatised he was and she realises she was like that too.

Anyways, Five wakes up and siblings are ready for emotional support and things go back to normal or at least a bit good. And him and lila have such a iconic friendship.

Also Diego tries to be the good brother that he told that Five was. Because Five deserves good brother too.

Also, you want romance? Throw a scene when he finds Delores or human Delores there and wants her so badly but Lila has to stop him because they should go and Five just hates this because he thinks she is just using his love for his wife like handler. (Got the human Delores idea from another tumblr post that I can't find now.)

TADA!!!

BETTER PLOT!!!

....damn I wrote a LOT. I may make it a fanfic-

So... yeah. Love to know your thoughts too, because we are all so angry.

[drowsynyu]

he never was a family man— until he met you..

cw: fem reader, y/n is described to be plus sized and a little short, you have two kids, teensy bit of angst, more of a modern au, google translated names 😒, y/n talks bad about herself briefly but toji makes her stop 🙈

a/n: please idk why but when i thought of this i immediately needed to write it. also this is so random and i wrote this in the middle of the night so i apologize if its kinda stinky

masterlist

enjoy!~

toji never thought of himself as a family man.. especially since he had a kid of his own that was basically nonexistent to him. he never planned on getting in a serious relationship either— until he met you.

he was out getting coffee at a shop a friend recommended. it was a cute place. had a cottage vibe. when he entered, he froze as he was immediately hit with a sweet scent. the place was cozy in the nicest way possible, there being couches and tables everywhere for customers to sit. as he approached the counter, he glanced down to meet eyes with the pretty little barista behind the counter.. aka you.

“welcome! is there anything i can get for you today?” you asked, your voice sickeningly sweet. toji almost forgot how to function, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

“uh..” he muttered as he looked up to get a look at the menu. “coffee.. nothing in it. and i guess a chocolate croissant too.” he said, watching as you happily put his order in the machine.

“i think you’ll really like the croissant! it’s really good!” you say with a gentle smile.

toji glanced at the total on the little screen facing him as he took out his wallet. “the prices here aren’t bad.. might start coming here more..” he muttered as he took out some money, handing it to you. that was totally the reason.. yeah.. the “prices.”

“well when the owners started this place up, they wanted to think about everyone that may come here.. so they made the prices a lot less expensive than most cafes. it was really sweet of them to do that.” you say, your eyes softening as you look at toji.

soon toji’s coffee and croissant was made, and he made his leave.

then on he came to the exact same cafe almost every day, order something, chat with you, then leave. eventually he even started hanging out with you during your breaks, which quickly turned into hanging out after you got off work.

he learned that you had two kids from a previous marriage. two five year olds who were twin daughters.

he even got the chance to meet them when you invited him to dinner.

it all started with you welcoming him inside, your daughters hiding behind you as they looked at him with big eyes.

“hey there.. you two must be the little ones y/n told me about yeah? niko and tsuki?” he spoke as he knelt down to their level. niko was first to leave your side, shyly moving to go to toji. “hey there.. you look just like your mama.” he says before his eyes flicker to tsuki. “you too..” he says, giving both of the girls a faint smile.

your heart almost melted as you watched both of your daughters interact with toji. “you guys get to know each other, i’ll get dinner started.” you say before heading to the kitchen.

toji watched as you walked away, his eyes softening ever so slightly.

“do you like mama?” tsuki finally spoke up for the first time. her voice was a lot quieter than niko’s. she held her arms up, asking for him to pick her up. toji smiled before picking her up, chuckling as she held onto him.

“hey! me too me too!!” niko pouted, jumping slightly with her arms up. toji laughed before picking niko up with his other arm, smiling as the two girls held onto him.

“to answer your question, tsuki.. i do. a lot. but don’t tell her yet, cuz it’s a secret. yeah?” toji said as he sat on the couch, niko and tsuki sitting comfortably on his legs.

“we won’t tell! pinky promise!” niko said as she held out her pinky. toji smiled and linked pinkies with her. “are you gonna be our papa?” niko asked softly.

before toji even got the chance to respond, you came back, a little smile on your face. “i see you guys got comfy.” you say as you sat on the couch with them, niko moving to sit on your lap.

toji wrapped an arm around you, watching as you rest your head on his chest. niko gives tsuki a knowing look before looking at you. “mama, can me and tsu go play in our room?” she asked, looking at you sweetly.

“go ahead, sweetheart. be careful!” you say as you watch the girls run to their room. you could faintly here their giggles as they play, your heart warming from the sound.

“you mind if i ask a personal question?” toji suddenly spoke up, his hand resting on your hip.

you look at him, your eyes widening a little. “go ahead.. i don’t mind.” you say as your hand rests on his abdomen.

“what happened with their dad?.. i mean— why isn’t he here? if that makes sense.. you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.” he spoke, his voice softening a little.

you sigh softly as you rest your head on his chest. “their dad.. he was a sweet man but… there was another woman. and she was important enough for him to leave us. i don’t blame him.. she’s a goddess compared to me.. she’s skinnier.. taller.. everything i’m not.” you say softly before you feel toji press a finger to your lips to stop you.

“he didn’t deserve someone as beautiful as you.. you’re perfect… and he was an idiot to leave you for some girl.” he said as he gently caressed your cheek. you leaned into his touch, feeling your face warm up as you met eyes with him.

“i’m not perfect..” you chuckle awkwardly. “i’m clumsy, i’m no where close to neat, i’m awful at cook-” toji cut you off as his lips gently pressed against yours. you close your eyes after a moment of surprise, gently kissing him back.

you look into his eyes shyly after he breaks the kiss. “you. are. perfect.” he says, lifting your chin to look into your eyes.

over the next few months, you went out on dates with toji, spending a lot of your downtime with him. he even moved in at some point.

it was a surprise when niko first called him “papa.” toji was in bed with you, watching tv together when niko came running in with a drawing she made in hand. she looked so proud of herself as she basically shoved it in his face.

“papa! look at my drawing!” she said as she handed him the drawing. he gave you a little glance as he smiled faintly before looking at the drawing. niko had drawn you, him, plus her and her sister.

“it’s amazing, niko.. we should hang it up on the fridge, yeah? show it off to anyone that visits.” he said as he got out of bed, heading to the kitchen while niko happily followed.

about two months later, toji got a call. “hello?” he said as he answered the phone. he could hear tsuki crying softly over the phone. “tsuki? what’s going on?” he asked as he sat up.

“i got in trouble, papa.. i punched my classmate b’cuz he scribbled all over my paper..” she sniffled. “you or mama needs to come pick me up because i can’t be at school for the rest of the day..”

toji smiled a little as he caught the name. “alright.. we’ll come get you soon, alright?” he said as he got out of bed, glancing at you to hint to start getting ready.

“okay, papa.. i’m sorry..” tsuki said softly.

“don’t worry about it, i’ll tell your mama what happened on the way okay?” toji said as he put on his jacket, holding his phone to his ear using his shoulder.

you ended up being a little upset when you found out, but it all worked out in the end.

[livlaughloveluke]

𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐠𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐭- 𝐞.𝐥

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: ever since that night on the rooftop, you’ve known

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: a little cursing, brief mention of past toxic relationship, ethan being an absolute sweetheart

𝐚/𝐧- clearing out my drafts rn so im kinda posting a lot! this ones kinda short and sweet, but i think its cute 💗 also, you might want to listen to margaret by lana del rey, it will help this make sense 😭

margaret (feat. bleachers) by lana del rey

02:45 ━━━━●───── 05:40 ⇆ㅤ ㅤ◁ㅤ ❚❚ ㅤ▷ ㅤㅤ↻

ethan’s heart sunk at the sight of someone on the roof, where he normally he spent his sleepless nights, thinking alone. he cautiously approached the mysterious figure, only to find out that it was a women who looked to be around his age, dressed in a lengthy white dress, with gorgeous shimmery pearls hanging loosely around your neck. 

there was something enchanting about this moonlight. you looked incredible, despite your glossy eyes and runny mascara, which had given away the fact that you had been crying. 

“you okay?” ethan muttered, unsure of what to do or say to the dazzling young girl. you jump, startled by the presence of another person. you wipe away what was left of your mascara, trying to clean up a little.

“yeah..? yeah.” you said, the first word sounding like you were trying to convince yourself, while the second ‘yeah’ sounding more persuasive and firm.

 “wanna talk about it?” the brown eyed boy suggested, unsure where he got his confidence from. something about the stranger on the rooftop made him want to learn more. 

“well, my boyfriend just broke up with me on our 6 month anniversary. he said he was taking me out to celebrate, but ended up dumping me while we were eating, elle woods style.” you shared. 

“he sounds like a real asshole. maybe it was for the best.” ethan stated. 

“i think you’re right. he was kind of an asshole.” the girl giggled in response. 

ethan grinned, taking in her beauty as they stared at each other. 

“well, i shared my story, now what about you? why are you here tonight? your girlfriend dump you?” you jokes, although you remained curious to what he reply was.

“uhm- no, no girlfriend. i like to come out here when i cant sleep. it helps me think.” he answers, taking a deep breath of the crisp, chilly air. he approached the ledge, and sat down, legs hanging off the building. it was scary the first few times, but recently he came to enjoy it. there was something so freeing about the risks of being this high up.

you mirror his actions and sit next to him. you look at the breathtaking view, before realizing there was a much better view right beside you.

you face him to ask a question. 

“how do you know?” 

ethan tilted his head in confusion, your question was to vague for him to answer. you continue talking, giving more context.

“what if he was the love of my life? how do i know?” this time, ethan can answer your question easily.

“that’s your answer, the answer is no. if you have to ask, then he wasn’t your true love. when you know, you’ll know.” 

you just hummed in response. 

“we never properly introduced ourselves. I don’t even know your name.” you inform him.

“we don’t even know each others names, and yet i still feel closer to you than anyone else in my life.” he added, letting out a dry chuckle, trying to hide how pathetic that was.

“i feel the same. you probably know more about my feelings than any of my friends, and we’ve known each other for what, five minutes?” you added. he was relieved that you shared the same emotions as him. 

you stuck out your hand. “my name is y/n.”

ethan got the memo and reached to shake your hand. the contact made butterflies fill his stomach. “my name is ethan.” he replied.

“ethan? i would have never guessed that was your name. don’t get me wrong, i think its lovely, but you look more like a conner to me.” 

ethan laughed at your comment, and swiftly formed a response. “conner? really? i think i look more like an axel.” 

“i could see that i guess, but all i can think about when i hear the name axel is this kid who bullied me in second grade.” you giggle.

“you were bullied by a kid named axel?” he teases. 

“yes!! and every day he would tell the teacher on me for something I didn’t even do!! and worse, the teacher believed him!” you were now full blown laughing, along with ethan who was starting to really enjoy talking to you.

you and him continued chatting a little longer, asking basic questions, but you wanted more. you wanted to know the real ethan.

“im tired of all these simple questions. lets go more in depth. for starters, if you only had one day left to live, would you tell anyone? why or why not?” you ask him. 

“woah. to be honest, i don’t think i would tell anyone until the end of the day, you know? why ruin your last day alive by being constantly pitied, if you could spend it happily with the people you love most?” he announced, and you nodded your head in agreement.

“now i ask you something. if were getting murdered, and got to choose the way you were killed, what would you pick?”

“wow, that took a turn. i would probably choose to get poisoned. its not painful really, and its pretty quick. just don’t poison me with bleach. i hate the smell of it.” you declared. 

this caused you both to start laughing again, to the point where your stomach hurt. after your giggle fest, your exhaustion got the best of you, and you yawned, sleepily. your actions did not go unnoticed by ethan, and he decided to call it a night. he helped walk you home, making sure to keep you safe. 

you talked the whole way home, mainly about your music taste. he was into the alternative indie kinda music, and you bonded over a few artists. then, you reached your dorm. you exchanged numbers, none of you wanting this relationship to end.

for the next week, you texted each other constantly, giving song recommendations, and just learning about one another in general. you figured out you both went to blackmore university, and took a few of the same classes. you were surprised you hadn’t seen him before, but then again, two weeks ago you weren’t looking. 

you were supposed to meet him on the rooftop again tonight. this time however, you wouldn’t be caught sulking in a dress. you changed into a more comfortable, yet gorgeous look.

eleven pm rolled around, and you headed up to the roof. ethan was already waiting for you, a bouquet of tulips in his hands. he handed them to you, and you couldn’t hold your smile back. 

“how’d you know these were my favorite?!” you  questioned him. 

“you’re mentioned it a couple times. i researched the meaning, and it turns out they symbolize growth and new beginnings, which i thought was perfect, because of your recent relationship ending and uh i-“ 

you cut him off with a hug, holding the flowers off to the side, not wanting to crush them. you pull apart so you could face him when talking. 

“they’re beautiful, eth. I can’t believe you put so much effort into them.” you informed him.

your ex boyfriend was a total dickhead, who never really cared. you weren’t sure if he even got you flowers once in your relationship. it was new having someone that cared, and the feeling of being truly loved was definitely not unwelcome. 

you both sat on the edge and started babbling like last time. 

“you know who i’d think you’d like? faye webster. she’s really good, and while she’s well known, she’s definitely underrated.” you blurt out. 

“I’ll listen to her tonight. whats your spotify?” he asks. you share your account and both follow eachother. he starts scrolling through your playlists and reviewing them. 

“taylor swift? really, y/n? i thought you were better than this.” he sarcastically says. you act offended, before retorting back. 

“taylor swift is so good! she’s popular for a reason. maybe you just haven’t heard the right album. i feel like you would like evermore or folklore.” he shakes his head, disapprovingly. he claimed he would never listen to one of her songs. (he spent 2 hours that night listening to the albums you suggested)

eventually, it got late and he started walking you home. out of the blue, he asked you an important question. 

“would you maybe want to go out with me one night? officially?” he managed to stutter out. 

“i’d love to, eth.” you respond. 

you had never really been completely sure of something, but that night you knew one thing. you were in love with ethan landry.

[kiraixi]

This is my contribution to the Harringrove Relay Race! 🎄❤️@harringrove-relay-race

Santa Baby ~

Billy wasn’t happy with his predicament but honestly any extra cash would do… even if it meant babysitting your crushes ex’s younger sister.

Holly was a sweet kid. Shy at first, but after becoming a frequent swimmer at his Turtle Tots classes in summer Billy’s come to know what a bubbly yet devious inside she had. Adorable baby blues not even he could say no to along with a pixie laugh when she got her way.

Here he was, standing outside the mall, about to spend his Christmas day with a five year old.

To be fair it was way better than whatever burnt roast Susan would salvage, forced to choke down undercooked potatoes with his father’s threatening glare across. Forced to match Max’s tight smile and fake gratitude as she opens her third present while he gets none. Always. Only to left alone with his asshole dad and mouse of a wife while she runs off to her nerd friends' houses, blissfully ignorant of what waits for him behind closed doors.

Mrs Wheeler stopped him a week ago. Hand on his arm caressing, asking if he could be ‘ever so kind’ and watch her youngest on such a special day. Billy doesn’t care what she deigns so important she can’t look after her own child, but from the amount of cash stuffed into his hand he’s not complaining at all.

Twenty dollars to babysit her and another twenty five to buy her a gift. He can keep the change.

Holly takes him left and right. Kinda embarrassing how this little kid knows her way round more than him. Up the stairs they go to Claire’s, receiving a few warm chuckles from the lady running the till when Holly asks him which stuffed plushie is superior.

Billy personally thinks the reindeer one is cuter. It’s called Antler Claus.

They pick up some hot chocolate and share a gingerbread cookie. Holly called the thing Hermon and then decapitated its head, handing him the torso and legs. She’s darn cute.

Tugging on the arm carrying her teddy, she points down the hall. He turns to her,

“Mm?”

“I wanna see Santa!”

“Santa?” Billy looks where she’s pointing. A Christmas set up. A tree and a couple presents laid out, theres’ a small queue of people waiting to talk to a guy in red lounged on a chair.

“Oh… Santa.”

“Yep!” She tugs him forward with the mighty force of a toddler and they line up behind, Billy squinting at that floppy brown hair under the hat. Even though the boy’s face is hidden under that ridiculous beard, Billy could recognise him anywhere.

Steve Harrington in all his glory, sweating under layers of heavy velvet, trying with all his might to sell a jolly man accent.

He can’t suppress a smirk as they walk up for their turn. Steve tries hard to not make eye contact with Billy, instead listening intently to Holly.

“Hi there little miss! Have you been a good girl for Santa this Christmas?”

She giggles, swaying back and forth on Steve’s knee, “Yes! I spent today with Billy, it was so fun! We got a rei- rain—“ She frowns at Billy.

“Reindeer.”

“Reindeer!” Shining her brilliant three teeth smile at the older boy. They both laugh at her adorable antics.

She pulls Steve’s ear in, whispering in that way only children do, loud yet secretive all the same. “Don’t tell my mummy but this is way more fun than being home.”

Steve sends him a soft smile and Billy tries with all his might to tape down that warm shakiness building in his chest. Steve tells her to grab a gift off the shelf and while she’s away for a few minutes Billy’s curiosity gets the better of him.

“What made you do this instead of..” He waves his hand around lamely, “Festivities at home.”

Steve looks down at his lap a little forlorn, “I don’t think anyone would even realise I’m gone..”

“Ah..”, that sad pout makes Billy regret asking.

The other sighs, “Well why are you not at home? I wouldn’t have pegged you getting along with Holly.”

“Well, she’s a good kid and any extra money is useful,” Billy shrugs, not wanting to get into the details of a shitty house to go back to.

Steve nods in understanding, then snorts “Well haven’t you been a good boy this year,” pats his lap like the jerk he is. “Why don’t you sit on my lap”.

Billy blushes and looks heavenward, cursing god for making his fall for this absolute dork. Holly comes to save the day. Another plushie, a penguin this time, tucked under her arm and pulls him toward the churro stand.

He looks back at Steve, questioning how much he owes for the toy. Steve shakes his head and smiles, “Don’t worry about it, maybe instead you could stop by at four? It’s when I clock off, we could hang if you're free?”

Billy looks away, face warming but not from the temperature. He tickles Holly’s side and taps her nose, “Once I put this bug in her bed I’ll come back” They awkwardly wave goodbye, Holly giggles at him and he smiles back.

This Christmas isn’t turning out to be so bad after all.

Happy holidays everyone! Please look forward to the lovely work from the next person 🎉@thatgirlwithasquid

[chucksfavouriteprophet]

Not Waving But Drowning

Dean Winchester x Female Reader

Request: can I request a Dean x reader, where they get in a fight. Also where brothers and reader go on a hunt that involves drowning victims. They all separate and the reader is pushed/pulled into the water. Sam and Dean look for her but can't find her until a kid says something then they have the hardest time trying to revive her? Kinda like, but not exactly like "Drowning on Dry Land" Grey's Anatomy: Season 3, Episode 16. Angst please, if you're willing!

A/N: This episode is engrained into my brain along with most of Grey's Anatomy because it fulfils all my angsty desires SO THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS REQUEST!!! Also, the title is in reference to the poem and album of the same name, but the content is not.

Warnings: drowning, near-death experience, cpr, hospitals, suicidal thoughts, angst, lots of pent up feelings

Word count: 4,040

You hadn't spoken to Dean in the five hours you'd been driving, and you didn't intend to any time soon. It had been building up all week really; at first it was little things, like forgetting to ask for the tomato off your burger when he order take out, and when he actually took responsibility for the laundry for once but dyed all your whites pink. You'd been picking at each other for a while now, with Sam hovering uncomfortably as his brother and best friend bickered. But things had really come to a head that morning, when you'd had a sleepless night having been stuck on the rock hard motel sofa while the boys took the bed. As you pulled your things together, you did your usual count up of your weapons and froze. More frantically, you rummaged deeper, tossing things out of the little bag that you always carried alongside your gun.

"You alright, Y/N?" Sam quizzed as he sensed your panic.

"My bullet. It's gone. Did one of you take it? Dean?" You spun round with anger in your eyes as you stared down the elder Winchester as he emerged confused from the bathroom.

"Take what? Hell, what have I done now!"

You stormed towards him, refusing to take his attitude. "My bullet, you moron. Where is it?"

"Wow, chill out will you. Yeah, I borrowed a bullet on that last hunt cause I was running low. Why's that such a problem, you've got a shit ton of them in that weird little bag you carry round-"

Before he could even finish his sentence his head whipped round as your palm collided with his cheek.

"What the fuck Y/N?" Sam tried to intervene, but you shot him a look that told him to do otherwise.

"Yeah, I carry a bag of loads of random bullets so I don't run out. Because I'm not careless like you. But you didn't even think to look at what you were taking, did you?"

Dean squinted at you with a pout as he rubbed his red cheek.

"That wasn't just any bullet you stole, Dean. That was the one bullet I've never used, the one bullet I'll never use because its the one thing I still have from my dad. It's not for just using cause you forgot to top up your own stack!" You thrust your hand out, nodding towards it when he didn't get the hint.

"Oh you-you want it back?" Dean snorted before standing up straighter. "No can do I'm afraid. Used it on that demon to distract him before I used the knife. I gotta say, he did not see that coming," he spoke proudly, grinning at his brother who shook his head wide eyed in response.

You gulped back tears. "You...you used it? As a distraction? Are you fucking with me?"

Dean shrugged. "Oh c'mon Y/N, you've got loads of little things from your dad, it can't have been that special."

"Look, I'm sure Dean's sorry-" Sam tried to interject but you spun round on your heel and stormed towards the door.

"Don't you even start to defend him, Sam" you hissed. You had to get out of there before you lost your shit completely.

But of course, the motel was in the middle of nowhere and the only place you could go was the dusty parking lot where the Impala stood. Which explained why, five hours later, you were curled up in the back of her, gazing out the window, refusing to even acknowledge the boys.

Truth be told, you were looking forward to the hunt. It was a vamps nest, you'd concluded, which had taken a family hostage in an attempt to turn them. You'd been following the group across state lines as they added to their brood, and you had finally caught up with them just west of Yellowstone. Destroying them would be the distraction you needed from Dean and your feelings. Feelings which were driving you insane because no matter how hard you wanted to hate him for how he had been acting these past few days, you just couldn't. And that was part of the problem.

Locating the nest was easy; there were old caves situated between a group of lakes which often acted as a diving spot for kids during the summer. Now, in the cold depth of February, they offered a dark, quiet place ideal for a group of vampires.

As expected, things went smoothly. Until they didn't.

One of the younger vamps was on guard - you recognised him from the last scene when you'd just missed them. He was recently turned and it was the first time he'd been trusted to turn the next bunch but had made too much of a mess of it. No wonder the older vamps had regelated him to lookout this time round. You took his head clean off before Sam and Dean had even seen him, and you ignored Dean's huff as you stormed ahead into the cave. You knew he didn't like you going ahead, but right now you were not in the mood to stick to his petty rules.

The other four vamps were in the middle of the turning process, having just finished the draining process of their victims. A couple in their forties were slumped against the wall, while two kids were shivering with fear from where they were tied up still in their pyjamas. The younger boy was looking round frantically and caught your eye as you peered round the corner. Raising a finger to your lips, he nodded and visibly relaxed slightly.

With the brothers hot on your heels, you ran towards the group at full speed, each taking a vamp and finishing them off quickly. But with three of you taking the first three, that left one to react. You didn't recognise this fifth vamp and you guessed they must have been the newest turned from just a few weeks earlier. She was sharp though, and in her bloodthirsty desperation grabbed the boy and sped from the cave.

"Shit" you snarled as you kicked the head beneath your feet away. Dean went to run after her, but you got there first.

"I've got it. You deal with these three." Your tone told him not to bother arguing back.

As you sprinted out the cave, you blinked in the moonlight and walked tentatively, desperate for a sound. But it was silent. Not even a cricket buzzed and you gulped at the eeriness. You were a split second behind them so they couldn't have gone far.

You tiptoed cautiously towards the lake just meters from the cave entrance, hoping that the reflection of the moon would illuminate the immediate area some more.

"Hey," you whispered, not quite sure what you were trying to achieve. If the boy could hear you, the vamp most certainly could too. But you had to try something.

"Hey kid, where are you?" As soon as the words left your mouth, the crack of branches sent you whirling round, machete at the ready. Still you were met with silence, and the only thing that seemed to move was your frosty breath floating up into the air.

Except this vamp hadn't quite got the hang of one of the key parts of being a vampire: stealth. She giggled at your blindness, which gave you just enough of a hint to dive forward towards a bundle of ferns and grapple with your free hand to grasp onto a piece of material. With a tug, you hauled the boy up and out of the creature's arms, thrusting him behind you as the vampire jumped. Everything else was a blur; her hands tightened around your shoulders as you flung your arm towards her neck, slicing it off on the diagonal. As you did so, your whole body moved in that direction, and with the force of the vampire's jump landing over you, you lost your footing and tumbled downwards. Unsure if you'd even managed to successfully kill the thing, you tried to rip the body off you rather than grab onto something more solid, which only hauled you down further. In the darkness, there was no way of making out the edge of the lake. One second the air around you was dry and frosty, the next it was heavy and icy.

-

Dean didn't like that you'd just sped off towards the rogue vampire, but there wasn't much he could do about it. He knew he'd pissed you off royally, and as much as he was desperate to apologise and admit his wrongdoings, he knew doing so would for sure give the game away. He'd successfully been able to hide his feelings for you for years now, and suddenly acting differently even though he knew he'd upset you would make his feelings all too clear. Sam had been catching on, which was why he'd tried to be more careless with the little things like your take out order (which of course he knew off by heart), and your laundry (which he'd practiced breaking the news to you in the mirror). The bullet thing had been a genuine mistake and he'd barely paid any attention to the road as he'd kicked himself for being such an idiot. But that vamp was fresh blood and he couldn't let you go after it alone.

Kicking corpses aside, he hurriedly helped Sam pick up the rest of the family and guide them out as they started to take in all that had happened to them.

"Y/N?" He called out to you as they exited the cave, to which he heard a sudden squark in response and a 'plop' of water. Head snapping round, he saw ripples in the lake as the figure struggled to stay afloat.

Without hesitation, Dean gently dropped the figure he held and raced towards the water, diving in smoothly. He grabbed the boy, hauling him up out of the frigidity and onto dry land. Within seconds, the rest of his family had come out of their shock of the whole ordeal and were by his side, wrapping him up in their dressing gowns and inundating the brothers with 'thank you's.

But Dean could only focus on one thing.

"Where's Y/N?"

Sam shrugged and gestured to the dead vampire on the bank. "Not sure, but she got it pretty good. She's probably still pissed at you and gone back to the car. C'mon, we gotta get this family safe."

Dean wasn't convinced, but then again, when was Sam ever wrong? And besides, hovering and fretting would only raise suspicions that he had feelings for Y/N even more. So, helping the family back on their feet, the Winchester boys guided them back, offering them token pieces of reassurance that they would be okay now.

Only the young boy, soaked to the skin, remained where he was.

"Sweetheart, its okay, these kind men killed the baddies. We can go home now and get you warmed up." The mother bent down, reaching out a hand to try and coax the child back up the slope. But he wouldn't budge, standing stoic where he was shivering away. His eyes locked on Dean - he didn't even acknowledge his family.

"What is it kiddo?" Dean bent down gently, trying to see through the child's terror. But he just stared.

"He's in shock. Let's get out of this place," the father straightened up and strode towards the boy, scooping him up in his arms. But he cried out, wriggling all over the place and sending droplets of icy water flying.

"Woah, hey, do you see something?" Sam questioned, looking around to try and pick up what they boy was reacting to. When his father finally placed him on the ground again, he turned to face the water, lifting a pointed finger ever so slowly.

It was like time stopped. No one moved. Not even the group's cold breath drifted through the air. In that very second, it was like the whole world was collapsing for Dean.

"Y/N..."

-

Once you realised you had fallen into the lake, you instantly kicked your legs powerfully and pulled your arms to try and break the surface. But it was no use. Cramp ate into your muscles within seconds, and the darkness blended with the night sky so you had no clue which way was up. Whatever breath you'd tried to hold had been stolen from you by the shocking glacial temperature and your lungs were aching.

But still, you didn't panic. Instead, a moment of realisation hit you. Neither Sam nor Dean had seen you fall in. You didn't know if that boy had or if he had run for the hills the second you'd moved him out of the way. You were completely and utterly alone.

And it was peaceful. Here, you didn't have to pretend. You could cry all you liked, your tears mixing with the liquid around you and hiding your emotions. You no longer had to pretend to be mad at Dean, and you could scream that you loved him knowing the only thing that would leave your mouth would be bubbles. You no longer had to fight, to take on the responsibility to save the world. You no longer had to live in the brother's shadows, knowing they would always think less of you for not being a Winchester destined to succeed.

And so you stopped. You let your limbs float around you, you welcomed the warmth of fire in your lungs. You closed your eyes and accepted your fate as you lost all feeling in your numb body.

But Dean...

-

The second Dean entered the water again it instantly seemed colder. Unlike with the boy, he had no idea where you were and swum around frantically, his arms flailing as he tried to feel for you. After what felt like years he finally brushed his fingers against the skin of something smooth and cold. Without a moments hesitation, he dived down further, reaching out and pulling you up by the arms.

"SAM!" He shouted as he flung your slack body onto the bank. Sam had already thrust the Impala's key into the father's hands and sent them off in the direct of the car, and now he pulled you close while his brother scrambled out the water.

"Is she..." Dean panted, not sure if he even wanted to know the answer. Sam shook his head sharply as he came away from trying to find a pulse.

Forgetting about the cold, Dean clambered over your body, pumping down on your chest. As he blinked away tears mixed with lake water, he swore at your grey face and the way your eyes drifted lazily beneath blue lids. He hated how your body flopped below him but he refused to stop until you were alive and breathing again.

"Dean, let me. You've done enough." Gently, Sam eased his brother off you, taking his place. He hadn't failed to notice how distraught Dean was, and he knew that having been in the water twice already he needed to save all the energy he had left. Muttering a prayer as he issued CPR, Sam tried to block out the sound of your ribs cracking beneath his giant hands.

"Get the car. Take that family to hospital and call an ambulance." It was clear to Sam that he needed to be the big brother now.

"N-no" Dean coughed. "I'm not leaving her!"

"Well we can't both stay here and that family have lost a lot of blood between them. Dean, you need to help me. Help me help Y/N by helping them."

Stumbling up, Dean clambered up the hill to the car as quick as he could. He couldn't leave you, but right now he also couldn't think straight. He found the family huddled in the back of the Impala, scared out of their wits still.

Wordlessly, he jumped into the drivers seat, started the engine and raced onto the road. Ignoring pleas from the petrified family behind him, he sped away, desperate to get them to safety so he could return to you.

As the first flash of lights went by in the opposite direction, Dean realised what a mistake he had made. He had left the love of his life when she needed him the most. He skidded to a stop, brushing off the cries from the back seat, and blocking the road for the next car that skidded towards him. Leaping out, he gestured for the family to follow and clawed at the truck that had been forced to stop so abruptly by his actions.

"This family are hurt and cold, and this kid has been in the lake. You need to take them to a hospital."

He didn't even wait for a reply as he offloaded the family into the cab and sped back to the Impala. Dean made a point not to glance at the little boy one last time, knowing he would loose all composure he had left.

Within minutes he was back at the lake side, brushing off Sam's questions. To his horror, you looked even more lifeless than you had before. He took over from his brother while Sam checked again from a pulse, coming away swearing. It wasn't lost on him that you'd been down for almost ten minutes now, and neither of them knew how long you'd been in the water.

Just as Sam was about to say something, there was a splutter as water droplets flew from your mouth. Dean frantically rolled you over, guiding you to release the water that was coming up, while Sam fumbled with your wrist.

"I've got a pulse. We have to move now."

Getting back to the car again was a blur. Dean held you in his arms close, hating how floppy you were. Sam drove while Dean laid you in the back, gathering blankets from the trunk without taking an eye off of you. He rested your head on his lap, stroking your sodden hair with one hand, the other gently resting over your pulse point on your neck. His gaze switched compulsively from your near-translucent face to your stuttering chest.

"De..." he almost thought he had dreamt it if it weren't for the rough coughs that followed. He drew you in closer, not caring for the liquid that was released down his chest, stroking your back and encouraging you. You wheezed and he cradled your head, your eyelids fluttering and your cracked lips trembling.

"It's okay sweet, I've got you. You're gonna be okay, just hold on for me, alright? Y/N? No no no, stay with me Y/N, stay with me goddammit!" He cursed as your eyes rolled back and your head lolled against his chest. The movement of your body had made him lose your pulse but he panicked once the realisation hit that it wasn't him who had lost it, it was you. Dean felt the car speed up as he flung your body flat and knelt over it, one leg curled up against the backrest, the other planted in the footwell. Unlike his brother, his prayers were muttered out loud as he worked to get your life back.

Things remained like that for the rest of the journey. Neither brother was sure how long it took to reach the hospital, but once they got there they wasted no time. Dean refused to leave your side as you were wheeled away, machinery placed all around you, and it took Sam to shake him into reality and remind him that he was no good to you if he froze to death.

That was when the waiting game really began. Even after Dean had been checked over by a nurse and Sam had got him dry clothes to change into out of the trunk, there was still no news of your condition. The two of them sat on the floor, back to the wall, legs against their chests, refusing to move from outside your treatment room. Dean couldn't remember what he'd said, but he knew he'd been harsh because no one dared to ask them to move along.

-

The first thing you got back was your sense of smell. You knew you were at home, or in a grimy hotel because it smelt so clean. Not clean in a good way, though. Clean like bleach, like sterile alcohol. Clean like a hospital.

With a groan, you desperately tried to open your eyes, only to find them glued together by stickiness. You tried to open your mouth, but that too was stuck shut by dryness. All you could do was groan again and use all the energy you could muster to wiggle your fingers and hope someone would see.

After the smell came sound. And out of all the sounds, the best there was.

"Oh god, Y/N, can you hear me? It's okay, it's Dean, I'm here. Squeeze my hand if you can hear me, okay?"

Fuelled by his voice, you did as you were told, relishing the warmth of his hand in yours.

"I'm gonna get a doctor," you heard Sam's voice too, and as the door closed behind him, you forced yourself to push through the gunge and pry your eyes open.

Dean hovered above you, purple bags heavy above his hollowed cheeks. But still, his green eyes shone and his smile was broad and child like.

"The boy..." was all you could croak out and he nodded eagerly.

"He's okay. They all are. It was you we were worried about...do...do you remember what happened?"

It took you a second to catch up and comprehend the question, your brain still foggy. "The lake..."

"Yeah, the lake. We got you out as soon as we could, but doc said you must have been under for a good few minutes. You know, it was touch and go for a while..."

Dean squeezed his eyes closed as he started to choke up. Whatever happened he couldn't let you see him cry.

That went out the window the second he felt your cold hand brush against his ear. He opened his eyes to see you grinning lopsided at him, your arm shaking as you held it up to him. Quickly, he reached up to steady you, leaning into your palm with a sigh.

"I thought I'd lost you Y/N."

"You almost did," you whispered, still testing your rough throat. "I was going to let go. But I couldn't, Dean. I couldn't because of you.

I love you Dean Winchester. I'm sorry, but I just have to tell you and waking up from a coma heavily drugged with god knows what I think is probably the only time I'll dare say it out loud."

Tears were streaming down both your cheeks now.

"Fuck Y/N. I-I don't know what to say. I thought you - I dunno, but god I never thought you felt the same way. I thought you were starting to hate me."

You frowned. "The same way?"

"Christ sweetheart, I'm trying to tell you I love you too. I always have, and I think I always will. I'm so sorry I've been such a jerk recently but you've been breaking my heart. And the bullet...god I know I can never make it up to you but I am so, so sorry-"

He was silenced by your finger brushing across his lips. "Shut up and kiss me Winchester," you breathed.

And for once, he did as he was told, leaning forward and embracing you. Almost instantly everything in the world seemed better; it was just you and him, finally giving in to your true feelings and putting all fears behind you. Despite the burning in your lungs, you would have stayed right there, relying only on each other's air, if it wasn't for Sam chuckling away at the door with the doctor standing awkwardly behind him.

"If I'd have known it would have taken a drowning to finally get you two to admit how you feel about each other, I would have pushed you in a lake a long time ago."

Tag list

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[yikesharringrove]

He didn’t mean to hightail it straight to the nearest bar. He didn’t even know what a dive bar a was doing out in the fucking backwoods of Indiana, anyway.

Billy’d just gotten in a big fuckin’ fight with his old man, shimmied out the window of their new house, and started walking.

And he happened across a bar.

He didn’t have his wallet on him, rookie move, but he figured his black eye and three-day-old moving stubble might help him out a bit here.

The bouncer gave him an odd look, glaring him down as he approached, but let him pass without asking for identification.

There were motorcycles parked in the gravel lot, along with some sensible looking Mom Cars.

It was dim inside, and the floor was kinda sticky, but they were playing Patti Smith on a shitty jukebox, so he decided to stay.

He took a seat at the bar.

The bartender gave him the same funny look the bouncer did. She was one hell of a woman, her leather jacket had a pair of handcuffs sewn onto the front, she had her nose, lips, and eyebrows pierced. Her hair was greying and cropped into a very similar crew cut to Neil’s.

“What’ll it be?”

“Whiskey, please. And maybe a beer, Darling.” He winked.

She laughed.

“Honey, you know where you are, right? This is a fuckin’ dyke bar, and you’re no older than sixteen. You’ll have a pop and you’ll be grateful for it.” She had a slight southern drawl to her voice. Texas. Like his mom.

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Okay, quit it with that shit.” She scooped ice into a glass, and poured him a cola from the well. “Why you here? It got somethin’ to do with that shiner?”

He took a long drink of the soda.

He didn’t know if it was her voice, or the fact that for the first time in a long time, he was with his own people.

“Yeah.”

“Someone at home?”

“Yeah.”

“‘Cause you’re a homo?”

“Yeah.”

She smiled at him, although this one wasn’t the sad one he’d been expecting. It was understanding.

“We’ll, Baby. You come here if you ever need a safe place to roost, okay? We all know when one of our own needs saving. You come here, and you ask for Susan, and we’ll get your mind off that bruise.”

He took another long drink of his soda, but this time, to try and swallow down the stupid sob that was trying to force its way out.

“Thank you. I’m, I didn’t realize what kind of bar this is. I didn’t really know that people like us were out here. My dad, he, uh, moved us here. From California. He caught me with a boy.” He averted his gaze from Susan’s face, making patterns in the condensation on the side of his glass. Patti Smith turned over to The Runaways. Some women were dancing by the jukebox now. “He told me we were coming here so I couldn’t do any of that fairy shit.” He furrowed his brow on the last line, puffing up his chest in an imitation of his father.

“Just because people hate us more here, doesn’t mean we don’t exist. Queers live everywhere, whether people like your daddy like it or not. He can’t stop us from living any better than he can stop the sun from rising.”

Susan scooped some ice into a clean bar towel, securing it closed with the yellow crunchy around her wrist. She slid it across the bar to Billy, and he put it on his eye gratefully.

“Don’t lose that scrunchy. That’s my wife’s favorite one, and she won’t speak to me for a month if I give it to some kid.”

“Yeah? Your old lady a hardass?” Billy grinned.

There was something, so fucking good, about talking to Susan. Talking to an actual fucking grown up. Someone with a life, and a partner. A queer, like him, who actually found love. And, by the dreamy grin on her face, had found happiness.

“Hollie would yell herself hoarse is she heard you call her old. She don’t look a day over thirty-five, she’ll tell you. We’ve been together for over twenty years. That’s why she’s my wife. We can’t get married yet, but she’s not my fucking girlfriend. We’re not silly high schoolers goin’ to the prom, and shit. No offense.”

“Nah, I may be a silly high schooler, but I’d rather be dead than go to any prom. Especially with a girl. No offense.”

“Hey, you’re in my bar, and we don’t allow bad talk about women. Unless you ex-girl fucked you over. Then we talk a whole lotta shit.” She refilled Billy’s soda. “But you could always go with a friend.”

“I’ve lived in this town for four days, I don’t have any friends, let alone a beard. Maybe if I did, my dad wouldn’t’ve popped me tonight.”

Susan’s smile faltered a little bit.

“Sweetie, I don’t like to interfere. And I know that most of the time, getting CPS involved makes it worse. But Baby, are you safe? I know he hits you, but do you think he’d-” she trailed off. “I’ve just seen some shit, you know? Boys like you with fathers like yours. Boys that didn’t survive.”

“Everything my dad does, is because he’s scared of how people see him. He’s terrified that people won’t think he’s a great father or a respectable citizen. I don’t think he’d get that low.”

But, in truth, Billy didn’t know.

He’s been getting hits from his dad since he was a kid. And there are times when Billy had thought well, this is it.

But Susan was right. CPS never did anything but piss off his dad.

Susan looked thoughtful.

She grabbed a napkin, and pulled a pen out of her leather jacket.

“I’m giving you the number here. You call if you need anything. We take care of our own, okay?” He nodded in response. “Finish your pop, and get back on home. I’m sure you have a curfew to mind.”

Billy winced, looking up at Susan, feeling like such shit after her kindness.

“I don’t have my wallet.”

“Yeah, you don’t have shoes on either, Dumbass.” She winked at him again. “Holl!” She shouted towards the group of women dancing by the jukebox. “This little birdie needs a ride!”

A short woman came drifting over. Her hair was dark black, and swept clear below her ass. She could’ve sat on it and not noticed.

The scrunchy made sense.

She was short, much shorter than Susan, but she beamed up at her, turning to smile just as warmly at Billy.

“What’s your name, kiddo?”

“Billy.”

It was kind of nice, being called terms of endearment by these two women. He liked that they weren’t trying to pull one over on him. He felt safe.

Susan slid a set of keys to Hollie.

“Take Billy home, please. We don’t need him walking around outside.”

Hollie ushered Billy out of his seat, climbing in the stool herself to lean over the bar. She and Susan kissed over the bar, and that funny hopeful feeling washed over Billy again.

“You’re welcome here whenever you want, Baby. You’re not the first little gay boy we’ve had in here, and you won’t be the last. Don’t be a stranger.”

“Thank you, seriously, I-thank you.”

Susan beamed at him, sliding Hollie’s yellow scrunchy back in her wrist.

[lunels]

with dating ellie comes with…

dating ellie williams !!

♡ - decided to write this on a whim when i woke up from a short nap today. was kinda reluctant to post this cause i know there are a lottt of these out there buuuttt, this was fun 2 write. anywayyyy, enjoy < 3

with dating ellie, comes with…

her iconic and award-winning journal. that thing has documented just about everything in her life over the years annddddd before dating U she would write about you in it constantly. even b4 she realized she was crushing. just saying how cool you are and she loves being your friend. im talking before bed, having breakfast, after talking to you, after hearing you laugh. she’d draw you too. jot down little details ab you. you name it, it’s journaled. you’d come across it one day and see a few pages written about you, all smiley like awwweeee ellieeeeee, you reallly love meee and she’d be soo embarrassed, like yeah.. just a little bit.

which takes us toooo…. her episodic memory! (😱it’s true! jk.) but nah actually this girl’s memory is hit or miss. in terms of you though she remembers a lot of things…. like how you get grumbly when you’re hungry or how you prefer sitting down to wipe instead of standing up orrr how your first kiss with her was on a wednesday at 6:54pm. the weird little things you know!? other times…. information goes through one ear and out the other. you ask her what she did 10 mins ago & she’s stuck sitting there trying to recall. sometimes you wonder if you were to knock on her head if it would feel hollow or not.

her unusual appetite… i think she’s a picky eater and LOVES to eat but LOVES……. finger foods. what you would consider snacks would be breakfast lunch and dinner to her. one day you'd be in the store by the freezers & she'd dramatically gasp, ....dino fuckin nuggets? they had these the whole time?! aw man.. and she's just holding the box while reading the ingredients like its the most interesting discovery. babe do you SEE this??? did you know????? and you’re like noo… whaaattt! that’s crazyyy! knowing she won’t eat anything else & it would be her favorite hyperfixation of food til like. death. ellie is not going to dive into a 5 star meal. i mean, she would... but it's not preferred. if you’re having a date night she will happily order chicken tenders and fries with a side of ketchup. hell if she’s feeling a lil healthy that day a cup of grapes too. meanwhile you have… not that. your plate consists of five cheese ziti with a buttered and crisp breadstick on the side with garlic parmesan marinara sauce for dip idk. she'll just look at your plate like "okay! if that's what you like babe......if you like it go ahead…" while munching on a piece of chicken. you'd shrug, "least i don't eat like a toddler." the contrast in plates is horrificcc

her lowkey cocky and competitive nature. don’t get me wrong she’s default awkward and nervy but does have a bit of an ego. her vocabulary consists of alot of “yeah?”s and shit that makes you nervous but as soooonnnn as you hit back with the same energy she’s shying away and stuttering. because she’s like damn that made me feel something. uh oh. dating her would consist of a lot of races and competition over simple things….. such as seeing who could get to bed first, orrr race u to kitchen! when you two first started dating she would tell you lots of facts (still does) ab space/dinosaurs and be like “a million earth’s can fit inside the sun. did ya know that babe??” “i bet you don’t know why this dinosaur poops in pebbles…” why would you??? now it's just a regular occurrence. she’d feel so smart and brainy knowing you don’t know a thing she’s talking about. with her competitive side she’s also kinda sore loser too. you beat her in a video game, she’s moping around the entire day until you finally give in to a rematch… mumbling ab how that was just a warmup. and she hasn’t played the game in a while. yeah ok. but best believe she’s shit talking the entire time and finally boasting ab her longggg overdue win

her nerdy dorky loser side. she’s a nerd. she’s a dork. she’s a loser!! idc what u say that’s her. everyone should know this. the girl is in love with space and dinosaurs and reads comics and is technically a pro gamer. like that’s her shit. what does that say?? & the pun books?? come. on. being her gf would mean that there wouldn’t be a day that’d go by that you wouldn’t hear about a fun fact ab space or how something reminded her of a particular dinosaur that lived 19356827.9999 years ago. if you ever touch one of her collectibles or pick up those little trading cards or highly rare action figures she'd immediately run over and swat your hand away, lecturing you about how they haven't sold this character in years and she found this at a garage sale 5 years ago.... how could you- why you do such a thing??!?!? like babe… i love you… so much. but. don’t touch my shit ever again. yeah. it's that serious.

sleepless nights!!!!! she’s pretty much an insomniac. lowkey, but highkey. like, she sleeps, obviously, but she can’t sleep. which would often lead to you waking up in the middle of the night to find her re-building a jurassic park lego set orrrr playing one of her little video games. maybe jamming out to some music as she draws. (bonus if she's drawing your face cuz she can’t you outta her head) and all u hear is her humming along, music blasting out of her headphones like drrrrr dodododoo yeAhhh ooOooO or times if you can’t sleep either, the two of you would be up talking and goofing off w hushed laughs over nothing but it’s really everything to her and she just looks at you with her pretty eyes like... this person is really my whole world.

her guitar skills!!! how could i forget!!!! she plays, like a lot, and anytime you’re over that’s the one of the things she’s doing. most likely playing along to her fav band or practicing a song you suggested once. she’d always wanna play for you and show you a new trick she learned or play you a song she wrote. (bonus if it’s about you<33) if she’s sooo in love with you she’d def wanna teach you a few things:)) sometimes if you can’t sleep she’d be like babe gimme a song. any song and i’ll play it for you. and you’re likee glue song:))) then… there u go. she’d do all the little tuning stuff & you can’t help but feel mesmerized by the way her pretty hands pluck the strings or how she hums the lyrics on some parts. glancing at you every while to make sure you're still listening. she’s just sooo… *prettily sighs*

comic con. anime con. gaming con. YOU NAME IT. shes at all the cons!!!! she’s there and flourishing like a little butterfly. best believe she is dragging you to every single one (for support and comfort cause she wouldn’t ever go alone) and showing you eve-r-y-thing. everything? everything!!! she’d be genuinely excited. all smiley and jumping from place 2 place, pointing at all the characters she recognizes. like babe that's the wizard guy!!! remember him??? and then that's his buddy who’s like a thousand fuckin years old! look at him!!! never knew dude was so wrinkly in person though...yeesh. and you're like ohh… yeaahh☺️ so overwhelmed and very much confused and getting characters mixed up w others from her little rants but she's happy so you're happy n that's all that matters right? if you can't show up for some reason, her gf, who she forced to have on her arm, then jesse because he was the next person actually down to go BUT she would make him take a bunch of pics just to personally send to you. like waitwaitwait she's gotta see this—jesse where's my fucking phone?!? okay whatever just use yours. hurry up before they leave! spamming you left & right with all these attachments of her posed w her favs or pics of her at the different events there. she’d look so cute that you’re like okaaayy…. maybeeee i’ll go w her next time :)))

okay that’s it! this was rly fun to write!! i hope someone out there liked this and maybeee i'll do a prt 2 :) all loveee < 33

[copperbadge]

You know, I had thought that the old jokes about bad airline food, which were very common in the 1990s, had stopped mainly because airline food had gotten better. It had to have, right? As food technology and chemistry improved, we must have fixed that. I just couldn't know, because mostly I fly Southwest and rarely take a flight longer than about four hours, and Southwest just doesn't do meals.

But now I think probably it's just that airline food is much rarer. Even flights that would have had food twenty-five years ago (pre-9/11) now mostly don't. So it's not that the food is better, it's just rarer. The comedy is less relatable.

I will say that the mushroom tortellini I got in my "lunch" on this flight home was pretty edible, but when the tray was set in front of me I looked at the hardtack bread roll, the very basic salad with its little pot of bland yogurt dressing, and the tortellini in very scant tomato sauce, and I thought, I bet I can hack this. (It's kind of a conference trick of mine -- I have startled many a stranger at a conference breakfast buffet by producing from seeming nowhere a breakfast sandwich, and then informing them that they, too, can take a croissant from the pastry rack, eggs and sausage from the chafing dishes, and jam from the condiments, and make a breakfast sandwich fit for a king.)

Then I decided to write some fanfic of my own damn novels because Eddie Rambler has definitely done this, and if anyone can fix airline food it's him, and if anyone's going to be a willing accomplice, it's Noah "self-propelled trouble magnet and food garbage disposal" Deimos.

"Hey there, friends and fans and everyone keeping it new out there!" Eddie Rambler said, but unlike his usual Photogram openings, his voice was hushed -- not subdued, but much quieter than usual. "I'm coming to you from somewhere over the arctic, and pretty much everyone else is asleep, so I'm trying to keep quiet, which as everyone knows is for me quite an effort. And if you're wondering why I'm not my normal golden well-lit self, it's because I'm filming this in the first-class cabin of an airplane using ambient light and a phone flashlight for a spot." 

He leaned back, so that his face wasn't filling the camera anymore, and the rest of the room came into view: a tiny nook with a reclining airline seat. The arm was lifted, and Eddie was sitting sideways on the cushion; on the reclined back of the seat, next to him, Noah was perched, grinning impishly.

"Now, I couldn't sleep so Gregory kicked me out of our two-person cabin, and Noah here had a cabin to himself because his folks are sharing one and he's the odd man out, so he let me come in here to film. Friend of the gram Noah Deimos of course, NoahTheTerror -- " Eddie and Noah both pointed at the same empty space, where a link would later go to Noah's Photogram, "and I are both flying first-class for only the second time in our lives. When I traveled with Truly Tasty I was always on the bus because we had a lot of equipment, and Noah used to be a peasant -- "

"I'm still a peasant," Noah said. 

"You're a prince, kiddo."

"I'm a peasant prince," Noah insisted.

"I could kick you back to Economy," Eddie said, grinning at him. 

"Well, princehood has perks," Noah allowed. 

"Anyway," Eddie said, slinging an arm around Noah and ruffling his hair, "the two of us decided to stay up and get into mischief, which is why we're filming at thirty five thousand feet. We were just going to play cards, but we got to comparing notes about airline food, and about five minutes in I said, whoa, this is content, let's not waste it. So, young prince, tell me what you were saying about airline food before we started filming."

Noah nodded. "First class food is okay. It helps that you're eating it in a really fancy seat and you know how much you paid for that fancy seat. But it's still kinda..." he stuck out his tongue, waggling his head. "It's just served in fancier dishes. And outside of first class...I mean, I'll eat it, but I won't like it."

"It's difficult to make good airline food. There are a lot of requirements," Eddie said. "It has to be mass-produced, it has to keep for reasonably long periods of time, some of it has to be reheatable on an airplane, and I don't know if you know this -- I don't know if YOU know this," he added, turning to Noah, "but our tastebuds literally change when we're on an airplane. Something to do with altitude and pressurized cabins. That's why bloody marys are such a popular cocktail. Tomato juice tastes better on an airplane."

"That's nuts," Noah said.

"So do nuts, actually," Eddie told him. "So you end up with some issues. Bread doesn't keep well or reheat well and the texture gets super weird, that's why you don't get good pastry and your bread roll is dry even in first class. Meat is hard to cook at scale or reheat. Sauces tend to separate -- cream sauce is the worst. Vegetables do okay because you can make a whole bunch of salad at once and it'll stay relatively crisp, and protein in sauce is still the most easily reheatable form of food, but stuff like eggs or breakfast meat has to be pretty greasy to reheat well. And then it's just, you know, greasy."

"So, chef, what's the solution?" Noah asked, clearly feeding Eddie a line, grinning as he did so.

"I am so glad you asked," Eddie replied, just as faux-rehearsed. "I managed to weasel two economy-class dinner meals out of the flight attendants -- don't worry, there were spares, nobody went hungry because of this -- and we're going to hack you an airline meal that's both edible and reasonably nutritious. Ready?" 

"Ready!" 

Eddie pulled up a tray table that had been folded flat against the wall, and reached in the other direction to bring two trays of food into the camera's view. "So we've got two meals that each have a salad, a little cup of dressing, a roll with butter, and chocolate bites for dessert. This one is a chicken curry noodle bowl with some mango chutney stir-in over here on the side -- I'm using 'curry' and 'chutney' both very loosely, as does the airline -- and this one is mushroom tortellini in pesto. That's actually pretty good, stuffed pasta does well in this kind of situation and I like a pesto, the bright notes really flare. What's the dressing that comes with the salads, Noah?"

Noah checked one of the little bottles, squinting. "Yogurt dill."

"Pretty good. Probably pretty bland. Oh, we also have salt and pepper. Okay, so what we're going to do is take the worst parts of the meal and add a little bit of the best part and basically make you a two-entree meal that's superior to a single entree with sides. Pop open that bread and give our friends a demo."

Noah tore open the plastic surrounding the bread roll, which was oblong, slightly smaller than a hoagie bun. He tapped it on the tray and it clattered stiffly. He broke off one end and crumbs went everywhere; the inside looked dry when he held it up to the camera.

"This is not a good bread roll," Eddie said. "Butter will make it edible, but we can make it better. We have the technology. We have...the dressing. We're going to just get this bread to a nicer texture by adding some of the dressing..." 

He split the roll with a knife carefully while Noah opened the dressing, then poured a generous dollop onto the bread, spreading it with the knife. "Let that sink in a minute, let's pick out the best lettuce and tomatoes for the sandwich, here we go...all right. You want a spicy chicken curry sandwich or a veggie sandwich?"

"Curry," Noah said. 

"Good call, the dill dressing's going to go nicely with that. All right, we are going to really stir up this chicken in sauce -- it's okay if the noodles get mixed in, that's what we in the biz call texture -- and make sure everything's blended. This mango chutney's going on the other half of the bread to moisten it, and this is -- this is going to get me yelled at by my culinary school teachers," he told Noah, "but we're going to throw that pepper right on the mangos there. It'll add kick to the curry and the hope is that you won't actually get much flavor other than spice. We'll see how it goes. So you got dill dressing with lettuce and tomato, mango chutney with pepper, all that is making the bread nice and soft, and we're going to take some of the chicken curry and slather that right on top." 

Noah used a fork and spoon like tongs to scoop curry onto the roll, sitting open on the plate, and then Eddie closed it carefully. Noah reached for it, but Eddie held up a hand.

"Not yet. Finishing is important," he told the teenager. "You have to let the flavors and textures settle a little, and this is also going to ensure it isn't as messy as it could be to eat, because we're classy assholes."

"Nobody classier," Noah agreed.

"The bread needs time to absorb more liquid. So now we take this paper tray liner and just..." Eddie wrapped the sandwich up in the paper, ignoring where the curry stained it yellow, folded the ends under, and tucked them into a complicated pleat that kept the paper tightly wrapped around the sandwich. "Just let that sit for a second -- if we were actually hacking this meal in economy, now's when you'd eat the rest of the curry, while the sandwich settles. What we're going to do is make a veggie sandwich with this other one. Guess how."

Noah frowned. "Well, there's the other salad, and the dressing, and I guess the pesto..."

"Sure, but where's most of this meal's bulk?"

"The pasta -- are you gonna put tortellini on bread?" Noah asked. 

"Carb on carb can be delicious but we're going to be more delicate than that -- we're going to open up this tortellini and get that awesome mushroom filling out of it and use that like a pate spread," Eddie said.

"Can I change my order? I want the mushroom pesto sandwich," Noah said. Eddie laughed.

"All right, you're the kid, you get your pick. Let's get this tortellini unfolded," he said, and set to work. 

-----

Six hours into their ten hour flight, after Eddie used the first-class wifi to post the video, there was a knock on the door and Gregory put his head in. 

"Hey, you're up!" Eddie said, looking up from his book. Noah gave Gregory a wave from where he was playing video games opposite Eddie. "Am I unbanished from our suite?"

"You are in so much trouble," Gregory said affectionately.

"For what? Noah and I have been super duper quiet, we didn't wake you up or bug Michaelis and Jes or anything."

Gregory held up his phone. "Hacking Bad Airline Food With NoahTheTerror," he read from the screen. 

"That mushroom sandwich was choice," Noah said, without looking up from his game. 

"Curry wasn't bad. Pepper might have been a mistake. I'll workshop it," Eddie said. "Why?"

"Eddie. I love you, but we are literally on a plane owned by a company whose food you just called terrible and hacked so it would be better. Half the internet wants an encore when we get served breakfast, and meanwhile the airline seems torn between promising to upgrade their food offerings and suing you for slander."

"Libel, surely," Eddie said. "I did it in the public record."

"It's libel if it's written down, all you did was talk," Gregory said. "Technically slander."

"Oh, is that all I did?" Eddie asked innocently. 

"I blame you," Gregory said to Noah. "You were supervising."

"I'm an innocent child," Noah said, still not looking up from his game. "Easily led astray. Sounds to me like I came under the sway of a bad influence."

"Anyway it's not libel OR slander if it's true," Eddie said. "They won't sue me, if they do I'll bring one of their awful bread rolls to court and make the judge eat it. Nobody would rule against me after eating one of those."

"The dressing helped, but dressing can only do so much," Noah added loyally. Eddie held his hand out for a fistbump and Noah bumped it, finally setting his game aside.

"Seriously, are we busted?" Eddie asked. "Like, genuinely in trouble busted?"

"Probably not, it's mostly just evidence I can't leave you alone for a minute," Gregory said. 

"Well, the solution to that was to let me keep pestering you in our own two-seat suite and not banish me because you wanted to sleep," Eddie pointed out. 

Gregory opened his mouth to say something, then glanced at Noah and paused. 

"If you'd like to leave Noah to his video games and come back to the suite, we can discuss that where young princeling ears aren't listening," he said finally.

"You can just say Eddie wanted to make out," Noah said. "I'm sixteen, not six."

Gregory rubbed his eyes with one hand. "Eddie?"

Eddie leaned over and planted a kiss on Noah's forehead. "Behave yourself. Hydrate and have a snack before we land."

"Don't do anything I wouldn't do," Noah called as Eddie left, snickering. 

"On a scale of one to ten, how much trouble am I in, honestly?" Eddie asked, following Gregory back into their cabin, which had one chair reclined (covered in blankets that Gregory had turned into some kind of napping nest) and one upright, with Eddie's stuff piled on it. 

"With me, a two. With the airline, probably a five. You might have to do a follow-up," Gregory said. 

"Like, the breakfast follow-up, or like an apology?"

Gregory shuffled aside so Eddie could shift his stuff off the chair and sit -- then settled in his lap comfortably, arms resting on his shoulders.

"Well, I say you double-down and make the breakfast post," he said. "But I am now prepared to distract you with making out, as Noah so charmingly put it, if you're interested."

"Oh, now you've seen my impressive sandwich-making skills you're ready to join the mile-high club?" Eddie asked. 

"That mushroom thing did look kind of good."

Eddie kissed him. "Tell you what, when they do breakfast service I'll use all the butter I saved from the rolls and make you an incredibly mediocre but edible egg sandwich. If I can get more dressing I could probably even make a decent mayo substitute." 

"You can't use my phone for extra lighting," Gregory told him, and Eddie was going to protest, but more interesting things were happening and by the time he remembered to be sullen about it, breakfast was being served. 

[profoundlyfaded]

I can’t let today go, the last month go without comment- I kinda do a social media shut down during GE’s. I’ve been up since 3:30 observing the results, waiting for numbers to come in.

My take away from it is that while this is a massive benefit, and we have a stunning competent incoming Prime Minister, to coin what was said on Sky News an hour ago, it is a loveless landslide for Labour. I love elections, I’m often politically active but I couldn’t motivate myself to get involved. I feel flat after fourteen years of Tories. Even flatter by four years in an underfunded service supporting homelessness.

But I do have some takeaways from overnight-

My town and its sister constituency have turned Red for the first time ever, and in my case ousting an MP who has been gathering cobwebs on the back benches since 1975. It’s the first time I’ve voted in a GE for a candidate who has won.

The town I grew up in, an area that would never vote Labour in its life, went to the Lib Dem’s for the first time ever. One less Tory seat by means of a Lib Dem victory is not a bad thing.

In the last nine years, we’ve had five prime ministers - Cameron, May, Johnson, Truss and Sunak - and bar for Sunak, all of those seats have changed hands to either Labour or Lib Dem.

Truss’s behaviour was spectacular; such poor showmanship proving why she should never have been leader even for the hot minute she got.

The au revoir to Jacob Rees-Mogg, an odious stain on the country who can concentrate on returning to the 1800’s.

The rise of independants and smaller parties. I’m Labour to the core but we always need a wide spectrum of voice in parliament to challenge and make good decisions.

The return of the Lib Dem’s - a decent hardworking party who were mowed down by Nick Clegg returning stronger than its 2010.

A resounding voice from Scotland to say they will not put up with corruption in politics by ousting the SNP from parliament.

It was at about 4:30 this morning that I looked at the Tory seats and the amount of seats left to declare that my heart settled knowing that even if every undeclared seat went to them they could not reach the magic 326. I cried, and it was the same time my town announced we’d gone red.

Rishi conceded shortly after, and Labour hit 326 before the Tories even had 100 seats.

It might be a loveless landslide, but there is hope here.

[braceletofteeth]

5, 12, 17, 19!

❤️🧡💛bl ask game💚💙💜

5. Favorite Female Character

Mam from Never Let Me Go (I tried talking about it once before...). Actually, it'd probably be a tie between her and Tanya (from the same series).

But while I admire Tanya because she's this strong, respectable woman, with a truly unconditional love for her child, I still feel like Mam's “flaws” are more compelling to me.

Because- well. I've been the person who judges her, I've been her, and I've been her child. I've been through all of it. And I know how people look at and what they think about women like her—so I know how easy it would have been for the ones who directed the narrative to let its audience throw stones and condemn her character without giving her a chance to speak.

Her point of view doesn't make what she did right (or wrong, for that matter), but I appreciate that there was a space within conversations for her to voice some of her feelings. Her dilemmas, her regrets, her desires.

Many times in fiction, when it's a story focused on kids or teenagers, parents are portrayed as just that—someone's parent. A mom is just a mom, and her story ends where her child's begin. I liked that Mam was a woman, and a mother, who was neither there to be antagonized nor sanctified. I liked that she made a selfish decision, put herself first, and lived the life that she wanted, as fulfilling as it could be. I liked that she knew she couldn't have everything, but still gave herself the choice of what she would rather have, despite what was expected of her. I liked that she was honest with herself, and with the ones that she loved.

12. Most Rewatched BL

After discovering it, I watched Utsukushii Kare five times between May and December last year. Would have watched it even more this year, if it wasn't for the fact I'm only now having time to rest properly. I'm planning to do the next rewatch this month, preferably this week.

The reason why I've rewatched UK many more times than any other BL is that, well, for one, it's not lengthy. You can watch both seasons + the movie and that would be little more than an afternoon/night/morning. Plus you know you're gonna enjoy every second of that time.

It's hard for me to put into concise words why I like this drama so bad, because- Man, I like everything. I like the dynamic between the characters, I like them (and to study them) individually, I like the acting, I like the chemistry between the actors, I like the BEAUTIFUL AMAZING INCOMPARABLE original soundtrack made especially for it, I like the scenarios and the vibes, I like the colors and the lighting and the angles, the moving shots, the still shots, the tension and the timing. I like the humor, I like the drama, and I like the romance. I like the way they express themselves, the acts and words they use; when, where and how they use it. I like how so many little things are meaningful throughout the story. I like how they found the exact kind of love and support they needed in their lives. I like how protective they are over each other; how jealous, mesmerized and touched they can get. I like the co-dependency and the tangible yearning. I like how it's both so intense it's kinda crazy but also so tender it makes me wanna cry.

There's nothing ever made in this world that I'd rather watch more.

17. Best Kiss

(doesn't specify what kind of kiss, but I thought it was already hard enough deciding among the mouth-to-mouth ones—so those were all I took into consideration for this.)

This may sound like a basic answer, but as long as I have eyes, and ears, and a heart... it's got to be PatPran's Rooftop Kiss in Bad Buddy.

I tried not to reach a final verdict too fast and even rewatched some of my personal favorites (KinnPorsche's separation kiss on EP6 of KinnPorsche; NuengPalm's own rooftop kiss on EP5 of Never Let Me Go; SandRay's angry-desperate kiss on EP9 of Only Friends; and others from these same three series), but in the end... There's still nothing that can compare.

It's hard to breathe watching the moments that lead to that kiss. While they kiss, you can hear Pran crying. He kissed that man like that was the only kiss he'd ever get for the rest of his life. He kissed like he had waited for a thousand years, and a thousand more wouldn't be enough to recover after.

Good luck beating that.

19. Favorite Female Actor(s)

(sorry, couldn't decide on just one!)

I was recently captivated by Nina Nutthacha performance in Love Sea. I love how expressive she is, and how you can easily identify and sympathize with the emotions she's portraying. She did impressively well in both the humorous and emotionally poignant scenes. I'm looking forward to more of her works in the future! 💕

Another actress that I like is Samantha Melanie.

Ever since her character in Until We Meet Again won over my heart, seeing her show up in other series always makes me happy, no matter how brief her appearence is. She's the kind that brightens up a room just by being there (and. also she's so pretty 😳).

[luke-shywalker]

there are little moments

“Hold still,” she said, and Ben complied as his wife carefully adhered the new bacta patch over his eye. He flinched as her fingers gently pressed down to seal the sides.

“Why don’t you use your Jedi magic to just give me a new eye?” he asked dryly.

“That’s not how the Force works,” Fannie replied. She turned and went to dispose of the old patch, her lekku swaying behind her.

Ben groaned and massaged his right browbone. He couldn’t use his right eye to see—not yet, anyway—but it still moved in tandem with his left, and smarted whenever it did.

“Funny,” he remarked. “Anyone who sees me is gonna think I had some kinda heroic encounter against the First Order. When really, my eye just decided to stop working. Like…for fun, or something.”

“I’m glad we got it taken care of,” said Fannie. “You need your vision. You’re one of the best pilots in the Resistance.”

“One of ‘em. Mom seems to like Poe Dameron better.”

“Oh, hush.”

“At least this didn’t happen to you,” Ben said. “One of Skywalker’s Jedi. Though, you’d probably be able to use the Force to see, right?”

“Well, it’s not unheard of, but Force vision is not completely the same as natural vision,” said Fannie as she made her way to the kitchenette and pulled a canister of rice from the lower compartment. “You really don’t know how the Force works.”

“Sorry,” Ben shrugged. “Jedi school dropout over here.”

“I’m sure Luke much preferred training your sister,” Fannie teased. She began setting a pot of water to boil.

Ben shrugged again. Rey had confided in him recently that, without Luke to guide her, she had been struggling with the seductive pull of the dark…just like he had. But, that wasn’t for him to share.

“I can help make dinner,” he said, changing the subject and getting up from the foldout bed.

“Oh, no you don’t,” said Fannie. “Sit back down.”

“C’mon, Fan. I haven’t been able to do anything for like, two days. For the Resistance, or for you. I feel bad.”

“You took care of me after the Battle of Takodana. Call us even.”

A sudden ache behind his eye made Ben start to feel nauseous at the thought of food anyway, so he sat back down with a huff. “Fine.”

“We’re nearly out of protein rations,” Fannie noted. “We’ll have to get more soon.”

“Let’s just run out. I hate that stuff.”

Fannie flashed him a small, bittersweet smile. “Welcome to wartime, Ben Solo.”

“I’m sick of living through major historical events,” Ben said. “Though—I probably wouldn’t have ever proposed, if the war hadn’t happened.”

“Hm. So that’s what it finally took.”

“Aw, Fan. Don’t be like that. I just mean…life seemed to get way more real all of a sudden. And everything seemed to be moving way faster. Especially after Hosnian Prime was destroyed. I just…y’know…realized there wasn’t a whole lot of time left.”

“Well, I hope there’s some time left,” said Fannie. “I hope we get to see our children, someday.”

Ben squinted. “You have so been talking with my mom, haven’t you.”

Fannie smiled, placing the protein strips in the pot with the rice. “Your dad, actually.”

“Oh.” Ben scratched the back of his neck. “Well. Let’s work on making the galaxy somewhere we want our kids to be, first.”

“Yes,” Fannie agreed. She covered the boiling pot with its lid, then turned to look at him, leaning on the counter thoughtfully. “Is this what you thought it would be like, Ben?”

“What what would be like?”

“Being married.”

“Oh, well.” Ben shrugged. “I dunno. I never really thought about it much. I just like being with you, and I think we make a damn good team. And we do—at least—I sure think so. D’you think so?”

“Yes, I think so.”

“But…you used to think about it a lot, huh?” A teasing look crept onto his face. “Yeah, you always wanted the cute little house and the white duraplast fence and the two-point-five children—”

“Oh, stop it,” she said, waving a spoon at him. “But…yes, I did want that. The beginnings of a war would not normally be my ideal timeframe for a honeymoon—”

“—but we made it work.”

“Yes, we made it work.” She paused, thoughtfully.

“Well, I suppose it’s not at all like I imagined,” she said at last. “But, then…there are little moments, rather like this one, where it’s exactly as I’d hoped. Where we eat dinner together—”

“If you can call it that—”

“—and we talk about having kids—”

“—someday waaaay down the line—”

“—and reminisce about our life together so far, and I nurse my ailing husband back to health—”

“—not because something cool happened to him, but because his eye randomly stopped working…”

Fannie sighed, exasperated. “You just can’t let me speak, can you, Ben?”

Ben grinned from where he sat on the foldout bed—that roguish lopsided smirk he’d inherited from his father. “Hey, it’s my eye that’s busted, lady. Not my mouth.”

She rolled her eyes, but he was too difficult to stay mad at when he looked like that.

Even with the silly-looking eyepatch.

She smiled good-naturedly. “Well, I’ll soon fix that,” she said, and came over to give him a kiss.

[hongtiddiez]

last twilight e3 thoughts feelings etc

so in the past ive watched the episodes and digested them and come back and rewatched to put together my thoughts but im kinda crunched for time today and have a mountain of work to do sooo i'm just gonna do this in one sitting and i'm so sorry if it's not as good or as coherent as what i usually deliver aaa. it's also going to be a bit longer than normal probably but i'll try to cut down on stuff that seems unnecessary or maybe just too obvious to comment on.

OH ITS STILL REALLY LONG EVEN WITH EDITING I'M SO SORRY.

oh them being playful with each other is everything to me. oh my god and Mhok learned, he listened to Porjai and he learned to organize and clean and do things with Day as an active participant so he knows where everything is and is taking control of his own life. oh we're only 3 minutes in and i'm emotional, okay.

i do love that we get to see the way Day has isolated himself and that while his family haven't helped there's also a large part of it that is his doing. ive said it before but when you're newly disabled it can be so so easy to isolate yourself. hell, i've been diagnosed for almost 10 years and i still do it from time to time as my condition worsens because it's hard. there are so many questions you have to answer, there's the anxiety of not knowing if people are going to be accommodating to your needs, and sometimes it takes twice or even three times the energy it used to take before because every action is a little harder now. it can be terrifying to put yourself out there again and you will lose friends in the process. there will be people that don't understand, that find you to be an inconvenience, that won't make accommodations for you, and it will hurt every time but saying goodbye to those people is always ultimately for the better - but it doesn't make it hurt less. as much as i'd love the realism of it, i hope we don't have to see Day go through that.

Day's story about his friend is interesting, too. he says he doesn't want to be pitied by his friends but the thing is. they just did that, they accommodated their friend, and from the sound of it they did it without judgement. so why couldn't it be the same for him? it just shows more of his anxiety and his fear.

"i felt like my life was worthless. all i saw in people's eyes was insult."

screaming. crying. throwing up. i don't need to say anything about this but i thought you all should know it made me ill.

"once i'm ready you'll be the first to get my invitation card." Porjai and Mhok's friendship means so so fucking much to me.

here's the thing, my best friend and i dated in high school, we were 16 and fucking stupid and toxic and our home lives were shit and we took it out on each other and we made each other fucking miserable by the end of things. we didn't talk again for over five years. it took time to come back together, to heal and accept our own faults in what went wrong. we stumbled here and there as we came back together but now? almost 10 years later i don't know what i'd do without him. that's my platonic soulmate, that's the one person besides my husband i can share anything with. fuck, he knows more about my life than my husband does because he was there to see me at my worst, at the scariest point in my life where i almost wasn't around anymore to see tomorrow. that kind of friendship is so fucking special, i cannot even properly put it into words, and for Mhok to keep that? to have that with Porjai? i'm so fucking glad he has that. i'm so glad he got to keep his platonic soulmate.

small aside, i love that Mhok consistently announces himself to Day. it's a little action but it's so considerate. he's honestly doing such an incredible job.

Day puts his sunglasses on like armor; like they can shield him from the judging stares or looks of pity he can't see. maybe someday he won't need them, not because his heart has hardened to take the blows, but maybe because he knows Mhok is by his side. because remember - it's the way they look at us.

"i heard you wanted to take time off and focus on badminton" Night i'm going to drown you in your own toilet. this is just furthering my thoughts from episode 2 that Night is ashamed of his brother and his condition, or perhaps that the family is trying to hide his condition for some fucking stupid reason.

the bravery it took Day to come here and admit whats happening to his is huge, but i'm also in love with the admissions admin saying sure, you can have time off, but you're not allowed to quit. you're not allowed to give up on yourself.

"we must live with hope, Day" and that's it. you have to. you just have to. every day is going to be so hard and so much, you'll have good and bad days, but at least in all those days you'll have hope. and maybe someday that hope won't be for new eyes. maybe that hope will turn into acceptance, into determination, into pride at what you've accomplished in spite of it all. in my opinion, hope is an amazing fuel but it's not sustainable, it's just a vehicle to get you to where you need to be.

Mhok asking a blind man for a tour, oh fuck fuck fuckfuckufkcufk-- Mhok essentially saying show me your world exactly as you remember it, let me in. see how things have changed and how they've remained the same and do it with me by your side.

THE WAY MHOK SHIELDS HIM AT THE LIBRARY. DAY DOESN'T NEED TO WEAR HIS SUNGLASSES LIKE ARMOR BECAUSE MHOK IS BY HIS SIDE AS HIS SHIELD. chewing my own arm off brb.

"and you also have me. nothing to be afraid of" because i will always shield you, i will always protect you, i will stand by your side AAAA--

on part 3/4 now, i promise i'll shut the fuck up soon. if you've read this far pls take this as a smooch checkpoint, i'm giving you a little forehead smooch. have you had any water today? taken your meds? relax your shoulders, unclench your jaw.

ok back to it - Mhok continuously having Day make his own selections in these various machines. Day's fate is in his hands, he can do these things himself, but Mhok will be there with him the whole way.

"my eyes don't work well but my legs do just fine." this is such a massive leap from the man that wouldn't even leave his bedroom, from the man that was suffocating in his environment. Day is no longer a dying man, a shambling corpse. he is an active participant in his own life again.

"stay close to me, that's all i need" bitch i'm gonna throw up, you can't just hit me with that after that's all i've been saying this whole time what the fuck.

OH FUCK ME. okay. alright. hang on. so when they enter the shop Mhok describes it to Day, explains where the jeans are, where the shirts are, asks him what to do and what he wants to take a look at. this is a direct antithesis of Night in episode 1 asking where Day was going to wait for him, where he could leave him so he could get his shit done. Day isn't being asked to wait, to just sit idle while life passes him by, he's being asked what he wants to do, where he wants to go, what he wants to see. FUUUUUCK. and knowing Mhok is doing this because Day expressed that he liked dressing nicely? how the fuck am i supposed to just go to my job like a normal person after this episode.

wow the shirt buttoning scene just made me so mentally ill. right now, Mhok is doing his job. he's helping Day get dressed. but someday? someday this could be Mhok dressing Day not because he needs him to help but simply because Mhok likes doing to for Day. there's the sensuality of caring for your partner, of running your hands over the planes of their shoulders, of skimming your fingers down their chest to pluck every button. it's an exploration and a declaration of love. if we get this again in a future scene and it's something like that please remember me fondly because i will perish.

at the bookstore Mhok recognizing Day doesn't want to wait, but Day has become so accustomed to the other people in his life telling him what to do that he falls back into that behavior - but Mhok doesn't let him. he prioritizes Day's needs and desires, even if it's something as little as finding a book, without being asked.

THE LAST PAGE IS MISSING.

(because one can't see his future and the other can't see in the future, but also because they'll make their own ending, they'll face that when they get there, but they'll do it together -- what if i lost my shit completely of it?)

when Mhok leaves Day to get him a drink the camera is focused on Day and the clear warring emotions on his face but if you look in the background Mhok hesitates, he stops and turns a few times to look at day. he's reluctant to leave him and worried. Mhok worries so much but it's always so understated or in the background, covered by the emotions of others he values above himself. (or overlooked because of 'what type of person he is')

while its anxiety inducing i do enjoy this regression of behavior because adapting to a new life is hard. you will regress, you will stumble, you will fall into old habits or sometimes old fears will return. its what you do after that that is important. the one thing i hope doesn't happen is i hope this doesn't cause a rift with Porjai. i think Mhok needs her right now, maybe not forever, but definitely right now.

HE PUT ON THE FUCKING SHIRT. THE FUCKING SHIRT DAY COULD SEE FROM MARS. OH MY GOD. i know this doesn't need to be commented on, i know it's obvious, but FUUUUCK.

Day's mom trying to weaponize Mhok's past and Mhok taking the ammunition from her hands and telling Day himself. the acceptance of the past and the determination to move on and grow from it. Day's refusal to let the past repeat itself with a new caretaker. whoo boy.

and again Day wants to see Mhok, because even bruised and battered Mhok is worth seeing.

if the last episode ends with "sweet dreams/good night" i will be burying myself alive, thanks.

THE PINK SHIRT RUINING HIS BAD BOY IMAGE BECAUSE IT IS BEING RUINED. HE'S MOVING ON, HE'S GROWING, HE'S BECOMING A NEW PERSON. FUCK OFF.

i'm so so sorry this was so long, every episode makes me feel more and more things and makes me analyze shit more and more.

tagging @benkaaoi and @callipigio as requested (if you want to be added to my last twilight meta tag list just let me know!)

[insane-weasel]

Me, with the objectively worst opinion: Oh...I liked the idea of a QPR Lila x Five.

I'm only halfway through S4, but I like it over S3. (Victor's son caused me to mentally block out like 90% of S3)

Review so far:

Luther's plot: 3/10. I'd love for him to stop being the butt of the joke.

Diego: 0/10. Horrible. You're going to make him a dad and tell me he is not like a super loving and caring father and show me any of that????? Why???? Is he always treated so bad by the plot. Stop making fun of him ffs. Oh, he's barely even chubby, but make fun of his weight. Oh, he's kind of concerned his wife doesn't love him...when she doesn't....make him seem paranoid and in the wrong when...like??? What? WTF is Diego's character.

Allison: 6/10 Thank you for not sticking with Allison is the bad guy...though why throwing any character progression...uh what's with her and Claire??? Are they gonna expand on the last 6 years??? Why 6 years??? Hello??? Anyway, her plot is passable so far. Not best, but....not S3 which is a win

Victor: Only solid 7/10 because he's really hitting me-core. Only characterization I'm kinda on board with. Actually, yeah, have Victor living a really moderate life at a bar. I think he should take you another instrument that isn't the violim. Though not a fan of how they're depicting his powers. I liked the more ethereal powers. Though no on Victor having failed relationships. He needs an awkward cute romance like Sissy? WTF was with that whole beginning? Like...anyway.

Five: 2/10 I don't hate it. But it is the worst five plot thus far IMO.

Ben: 5/10. Actually, I do think Sparrow Ben would be arrogant enough to be in Crypto. I don't like Sparrow Ben, but his depiction tracks. Still wish we could...have OG Ben........Second thought, hate Sparrow Ben. Though whatever, love interest, okay.

Lila: ...1?/10 I feel like the one person who didn't like Diego x Lila, and didn't think she'd settle down. I like a QPR with her and Five. However--How they're handling this? Awful. Also, her powers????? No more mimic. Boooooooooooo.

Klaus: 2/10 I wanted them to go angst with Klaus' immortality, but...ughh. Compulsive cleanliness and over anxiety about common fears is a legitimate way paranoia can develop...as a person with those kinda issues, but they do not depict them in any. Like I'm going to be honest, when you do have those fears to that level...you aren't sober or if you are...you're not looking well. But forget all that crap, why couldn't we have whatever story was Klaus bonding with Allison and helping raise Claire. Why was that the plot we had to be told about rather than shown????$

Other thoughts:

-Gene and Jean are like...10/10. Solid villains. Love em. Costume, actors, quirks--great.

-OH. My. God. Can Reginald stoooooop being a character.

-Music and set designs are a 10/10, costumes this season and apparel is a 2/10. What are some of these looks????

-Uh...The plot is kinda...feels like a fanfic that the author continues after 6 years, half-assed and wings, and has no love for the source material. Some parts seem so lazy. The stakes feel weak. There's traces of a great story...buried in there.

Overall, my theory for what happened: Umbrella Academy leaned into its comic book elements in the worst way possible. For that to have worked, a cohesive and fully fleshed out plot would need to be in place first then followed by a style of editing, composition and mise-en-scene, and then characters can play into cartoon styles.

The editing and filming have not changed between seasons. There's no style. Actually, they've gotten worse. The camera angles are painfully standard. If you wanted comic book, that camera needs to be at some different angles, but no, 3/4, eye level, always capturing same length. Whoever directed this? For shame. You don't use the foreground. You don't use the background. Everything happens on the same level and has the same amount of presence on screen. It screams "no time for flare, let's just get this done!"

So many of the BTS/production elements feel...rushed. If that wasn't the case, if this didn't have a painfully short filming timeline and they didn't have severe restraints compared to the last seasons...than...no one had any love for the series anymore.