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#i cant do anything. im not given a chance to do anything. im not good enough for anything
our-lady-of-mcr · 5 months
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#also god bless my friend who pointed out that im moving up and im going to be in a salon soon and will actually be doing something good with#my life vs the friend who did me this way pretending shes still in high school that freaks out and loses all her friends every 6 months#i wish it didnt bother me. and i know in 2 months im going to have brushed it off and move on like i always do when bad shit happens#but for the wound being fresh this shit just fucking sucks i hate it i hate it i hate it#i made a very very very vague post on reddit just asking for advice#and the more popular reply was someone more on my side who basically said i should tell her to go fuck herself pretty much#and the second one was someone who v obviously did not actually read the post who said it was all fluff and basically defended her even#when in my post i am saying i defended myself while still listening to the shit she says#and i fucking hate reddit bc people are so.....quick to be hateful and judge#and i knew to expect people being hateful but god DAMN like you yourself are basically saying theres not enough info (yes there was) and you#still are quicker to assume im in the wrong#meanwhile everyone who knows her is like bitch we told you to not forgive her last time and now look where you are#and i am not a perfect person i have flaws the same way everyone else does. literally everyone has said and done shit they regret#and i have fucked her over before because she lost her fucking mind on a campus manager and an educator and she told me to find my own ride#home because i didnt defend her losing her shit and screaming at everyone and ended up having to write an incident report (so did the other#girls who watched it happen so nOT just me) anyways now she uses that as an excuse for treating me like fucking trash because she finally#found out about the god damn incident report which made it so now anyone can say i said anything and she just believes it#its such a fucking joke to me because like ????? girl if we were in opposite positions you would have filled out the fuckin report too#granted it was a handwritten letter and not a report but it was basically the exact same thing as an incident report#my bad that a year ago i wrote a letter saying i was scared you know where i live and that youre mentally unstable. funny how a year later i#feel the same way all over again! except i dont because im not scared of her anymore shes a fucking theater kid who needs to get a grip#i cant wait to look at my self tag again in 2 years and be like DAMN REMEMBER WHEN THAT HAPPENED#every single person who knows her that isnt friends with her (i am basically refusing to text her friends bc i dont even want to know)#keeps telling me i didnt do anything wrong and ive given her too many chances and she fucks me each time#i just wish she would go get help bro there is something so wrong with her#self
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purrple-sectors · 2 months
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I'm only going to say this once. Idc if you agree with me or not
LANDO HAS EVERY FUCKING RIGHT TO BE PISSED AND DISAPOINTED
I love Oscar, for goodness sake he's my favourite driver and IM SO HAPPY HE WON!!!!! But it wasnt Lando's fault what happened, those team orders were shit and what happened on the race will obviously put a bad taste on both of their drivers' mouth
While I do think Oscar deserved the win since he drove very well today, imo after that shitshow that was that second pitstop, Lando also had every right to keep p1. Its fucked to prioritize a driver and then forcing him to swap with his teammate
We cant forget that Lando is atm p2 on the drivers championship, and yes there's a big gap to Max but every point counts. I've been seeing people calling Lando selfish for what happened and yea if he had taken the win he would have been selfish, but then we do admit that past WDC were selfish and praise their doings. Why do we negatively accuse only Lando of being selfish?? Its hypocritical.
Lando could have been really selfish and taken the win and the points for his place in the championship, but he didnt and that shows how much he cares about his teammate. Many drivers, like Max let's be honest, wouldn't have done for their teammate what Lando did today. And maybe Lando took alot of time to do the swap but we need to recognize that he wasnt put in a easy position, he had a decent gap when Oscar left the pitlane and had a chance to get more points, how many drivers would have jumped to that chance?
Its McLaren's fault period. Oscar isnt blaming Lando and Lando isnt blaming Oscar, there's no need to make drama where it doesnt exist. McLaren screwed both drivers and in fact Lando is more disappointed with his race start than with what happened later on.
The radios that were shared between the pitwall and the drivers weren't pretty and shows how much the team was at fault. Lando wasnt made aware that he would undercut Oscar, then he was given a "deal" that he would swap positions when his teammate reached him, ofc he would make a gap like any other racing driver would do, and then he was frankly guilt tripped in live tv to let Oscar pass through. I wouldn't be happy if that happened to me and I dont think anyone else would be.
IT WASNT LANDO IT WAS THE POOR STRATEGY THAT TAINTED OSCAR'S MAIDEN WIN
BOTH drivers were put on a tough position. McLaren did shitty strategy calls and then tried to fix the things on the worst way possible, playing with their drivers' feelings, ofc Lando will be pissed!! This was weird and this shouldn't be what racing is.
Once again I'll say that I'm very happy for Oscar's win, I'm very proud of him and I think he totally deserves it!!! Still I think we all should acknowledge that McLaren screwed both of them and that it's normal they aren't feeling well with how the race ended, we should let them sort everything out at their own pace and not be accusing or talking badly about any of them now.
Now we need to wait and see if this decisions will affect anything in the long term but we'll see.
Proud of Oscar tho 🧡
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stargirlie25 · 7 months
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Me having a conversation with an e/riel. Feel free to fact check by looking at the books.
Me: Why do you ship Elain and Azriel?
E/riel: Well for starters, he was the only one to go save Elain when she was in hybern.
Me: First of all, Cassian offered first. Second of all Feyre was also there and saved her (what Elain said)
E/riel: Ok but still it was romantic
Me: But it was not. Because her sister ALSO saved her :) Feyre went to UTM and got tortured,SAed,killed people and died all for Tamlin anyhow...
E/riel: Well Madja said a mate knows whats wrong with their own mate and Az figured out that Elain was a seer.
Me: Elain being a Seer was not what was wrong with her. Also Rhysand figured out Nestas power.
E/riel: Az gave Elain truthteller when he had given it to no one ever.
Me: Only because Mor begged him with tears in her eyes to stay back. Cassian offered her first (again) and then Az offered her TT bc he would not have to use it. Not to mention, Elain only took it when Feyre assured her she would not have to use it. She gave it back without a glance
E/riel: Well Feyre imagined Elain and Az as ´´Death and his lovely fawn´´
Me: Okay. Well did you also catch when she said TT is the only connection between them? Not to mention something admirable about Elain is that she is always full of light. What literally takes away Light? Darkness=Azriel. Not to mention, Azriel is death and his home sucks the life from Elain. Not that Feyres aesthetic painting mind matters anything to me :)
E/riel: What about the fact that Lucien thought Elain was crazy?
Me: What about the fact when he travelled all around to find somebody on a quest so dangerous and the only confirmation he got was from Elain?
E/riel: Elain was wearing Cobalt blue the first time she met Az.
Me: Considering Elains devotion to Graysen, there is a high chance of her wearing that color for Graysen because his crest is cobalt blue. Even if its not true, Lucien wears a coat that´s fawn brown (exact same shade of Elains eyes)
E/riel: A smile and blush bloomed on Azriel in regards to Elain.
Me: Dont care. Thats just an action. Although since you say that, did you know that a smile bloomed on Elains face after her father died (who she loved dearly) in regards to Lucien?
E/riel: What about when a charged glance went through Elain and Azriel.
Me: Sexual attraction. Lots of characters have it like Feyre and tamlin,Aelin and Chaol,Azriel to Mor....
E/riel: Well, Azriel jacks off to Elain every night while looking at the gift he got for her.
Me: Dont be shy you dont have to say a gift. You can say he jacks off to headache powder. No problem. Almost like when Nesta slept with multiple men. Trust me, that does not affect me!
E/riel: Elriel is true mates because Az was the only one to smell Eluciens bond.
Me: Bryce smelled Nessians bound, Ruhn and Lidia smelled bryce and hunts bond, Tamlin smelled feysands.
E/riel: Gwyn is a lightsinger because Az chest sparked because of her.
Me: Well than ig Lidia and Bryce are lightsingers too. Get those evil bitches away from Hunt and Ruhn right?
E/riel: There is nothing romantic for Gwynriel
Me: Thats literally just your penny for thought. Why would i care when SJM provided common banter, mate language and history for Gwynriel, and scenes where they challenge each other when she said history,sparks,conflict,and challenge all makes a good couple.
E/riel: Elain gave two gifts to Az. Not lucien
Me: Headphones for Az bc Nesta and Cass fuck so loud? So romantic i cant! Im so glad my girl SJM is saving the good,meaningful gifts for Elucien.
E/riel: Az waited for Elain to come to the table and told everybody to not eat until Elain came back.
Me: he was thinking of his mother being a slave. Thats what the situation of eating when Elain was tending to everyone reminded him of. How his mother was treated. Its not romantic but it is a very sad thing to think about.
E/riel: Azriel loves Elain. He only has not thought about a future with her because he does not allow himself to!
Me: Honestly i don´t mind that you think that! Although that is not canon. Sleeping with Elain is the only thoughts he PLEASURED himself to. Not allowed himself as some say. Again, that´s just your penny for thought. He says ´´He hadn't gone that far with his planning´´ Meaning sexual thoughts is fine but anything further is like nope, nope,nope,nope,nope too far.
E/riel: Elain literally loses her newfound boldness around Lucien.
Me: There is so many more reasons that we could come up with than what meets the eye. Have you considered it was because she didnt know what to do. Or she saw the look on Lucien ´ s face and shrank because she did not intentionally cause it and felt bad? Or maybe she FELT Luciens pain and shared it because of the bond? So much possibilities to think of especially considering we have limited text and not the actual characters POV. Also i wonder how far she will shrink when she finds out about Az and Rhysands conversation in the bonus chapter. Or maybe she heard it already?
E/riel: Azriel actually gets Elain.
Me: The way he literally does not though! When Elain begs the IC not to kill graysen Az says its best for him to be killed in acosf. When Elain says nesta cant make choices for her and then Az says she should not be exposed to the innate darkness even though later we figure out Elain is willing? When Elain says she is not a child to be fought over and than Az says he will defeat Lucien in a blood duel with her?
E/riel: Scrying is dangerous! Of course Azriel did not want her too.
Me: Yet, he said ´´Nesta really should do scrying´´ but not Elain because he underestimates her. Which is the ONLY thing SJM provides to what Az could have been doing.
E/riel: Azriel listened to Elains laugh probably because he loves the sound!
Me: Maybe its because Elain never ever laughs like that around him or the ic He was literally monitoring them which means to keep tabs on someone which directly relates to his fricking job 😂. So many words to choose from and SJM chose monitoring.
E/riel: Az gave Elain a rose necklace.
Me: Ok and? Elain gave it back. She does not want that shit. He gave it to another person. It felt wrong to clasp it around Elains neck but it sparked something in his chest and made him smile for Gwyn.
E/riel: Lucien only sees Elain for his mate but Azriel sees her for her.
Me: Nope. His reason for wanting to kiss Elain was simply ´´What fi the cauldron was wrong´´ and refers to Elain as the 3rd. She is literally a theory or more so a possibility to him. One he has not thought through in the slightest. Also, Lucien was going crazy in hybern in regards to Elain before he knew of their bond AND Elain has not accepted the bond yet he still cares for her.
E/riel: Elain called Azriels scars beautiful.
Me: first of all, its a 50% chance she called his scars beautiful. Feyre said she was not sure which one she was complimenting, the scars, or the big glowing cobalt siphon atop his hand. Second of all, even if it was 100% fact that she said his scars specifically was beautiful, it seems he does not believe it at all. He tries to not to look at his hands. He does not want to taint her with his presence or touch her beautiful skin with his scars.
E/riel: His shadows vanish around Elain and lightens. They also do that around mor who he was in love with for 500 years. Also his shadows are like snakes ready to strike in regards to Elain.
Me: Shadows lighting and vanishing are the same thing. Light takes away darkness as darkness takes away light (another reason why they are horrible together) His shadows are losing its darkness around Elain and Mor. Mor was wrong for him. The amount of pain it caused him to be in Love with her? Want that to continue with Elain and Az? Azriel does not need his darkness to be hidden. He needs it to be embraced *insert Gwyn*
E/riel: SJM would never pass on a good angsty trope like forbidden love!
Me: firstly, the only thing forbidding e/riel is Elain herself. If she rejects the bond, she can be with Az all she wants and NO ONE has a say on that. Not Rhysand. Not feyre. Not cassian. Not Lucien himself. Although she hasnt after 2 years. There is an answer to why. Its not like Elain knows she has to wait until her own book to reject it. Second of all, Forbidden love is the absolute WORST trope to give BOTH of them. For Elain, she has always hid in the shadows of her sisters in the series and the fandom. You really think Elain Archeron always full of light wants to hide in the darkness and play out Azriel´s fantasies? As for Azriel, he has been secretly silently in PAIN loving Mor for 500 years. So you want him to go through it again with Elain? No. He wants the bond nessian and feysand have. The love they share. The joy of being with your equal. The connection of a mating bond. Being proud to showcase it to the world. Forbidden love would just tear them apart.
E/riel: SJM does not write about virgin romances! Plus Gwyn is a virgin!
Me: Yes she can. Gwyn already lost her virginity against her will so biologically she is not going through the bleeding and the actual losing her physical virginity. Although it is a fact she has never slept with someone. The scene where Cassian *ahem* first enters nesta is very descriptive and SJM describes the pain of Cassian entering her......So yes she can for sure write about Gwyn having sex. This is also goes against the statement that Gwyn cant have sex because of her trauma. False. She is interested in romance books and asks Nesta if the sex was good. I think Gwyn would enjoy sex with someone she trusts in and out.
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gamblersdoll · 7 months
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PUT MY NAME ON IT, NOW IT DESIGNER. 1
New message!
“girl you gon call me or what?”
it made you roll your eyes. hakari always didnt like if you didnt respond right away, assuming something was wrong and you were in trouble or mad at him, that was a pro and con of him.
you started typing, making sure to turn off the notifications or sounds coming from your phone. you would occasionally look up to see your current boyfriend, sinji, still focused on the damn game… like always.
you readjusted your bonnet, finally pressing send.
Message sent!
“what do you want? cant call rn.”
you felt your heart drop to your ass when he immediately started typing, fucking creep. you couldnt call him– not with sinji right infront of you and not to hakari. the hell could he possibly want at … eleven thirty-two at night?
New message!
“ite, but call me l8tr.”
yeah, absolutely not.
. . . . .
maybe you shouldve called him, because for the past two days he had called you and only to have seventeen voicemails from him. if you had given him a chance you wouldve found it as a turn on. but knowing history, history.
“so, did cha call him?” maki asked, leaning in close to you. you never know why she asks even if she doesnt like hakari. but she could be very nosey.
“uh oh, boy drama!” gojo chimed, “well— whats his naaameee?” that damn idiot satoru.
you tuned everything out, only having to be pestered by he himself. you shut down your phone, needing a break from it anyway. you owned your own apartment, which was good, until it wasnt. you walked in to only see your boyfriend had left, which was fortunate and unfortunate, knowing sinji had only came over cause you had the good wifi and food. so you debated, call or not? you finally said fuck it. powering your phone back on and then taking a shower to relax first.
the hot water running down your hair and skin was always what relaxed you the most, nerves going away and settling until you prepared yourself for the worse and hoped for the best. throwing on a old oversized shirt and hopping into the bed, you pressed the call button.
ring!
ring!
you heard shuffling and bassbooted music in the back, and somewhat of yelling.
“look who’s pretty ass decided to call me.” hakari always called you pretty. no matter if you were throwing up or throwing a tantrum, as he would call it, no matter what.
“you said you wanted to talk, so talk.” you held a straight face, only trying to fight away the memories of what used to be your relationship.
“ill assume you heard about me dropping out and being some gambler or whatever, havent you mama?” he chuckled, waiting for you.
“sure, and dont call me mama, i have a whole—“ he interrupted you.
“yeah yeah yeah, your lil’ boyfriend or something.” he finished for you, immediately growing annoyed at the thought of you being with someone that wasnt him. “anyways, you’ll be getting your money back, and its been tripled.” what?
“you do realize its been a little over a year since that happened.” you deadpanned.
“its better than ten. i promised you didnt i?” hakari deadpanned back, matching you always. “i always keep my promises. you know that.” he stated.
“okay, good to know. anything else?” you tried to hurry the call, hoping to hop off of it. you heard him laughing in the back, calming himself.
“always, im inviting you to my club, you got till the end of the week or imma just have someone escort you here. got business to talk about.” hakari said, adding that onto your plate.
“so you deadlining me now?”
“you damn right.”
“ill think on it. now get off my phone.” you said, rolling your eyes.
he chuckled, exhaling. “hope to see you soon, babydoll.”
call ended!
you rubbed your face in your hands, that went better than expected? putting your phone on the charger and laying there, you should have not been on edge, but it was hakari, and you felt your phone vibrate. what time had it been? twelve o five.
for hakari, he knows how to wire transfer, infact pretty well.
“make sure it gets to her, or imma fuck yall up. dont make me repeat myself.” hakari warned, leaning back against his soft couch watching some fight he placed a bet on. he puffed out smoke from the joint he held, only waiting.
“its been transferred, kinji.” the words exactly he wanted to hear. “she’s gonna get it by twelve o five.”
by twelve o five, a hundred and fifty thousand had been transferred to your account.
repost, reblogs, shares, and tags are so welcomed.
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epicaricacyyy · 11 months
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re-rating karkat ships because im bored and like doing stuff to keep me busyy
junekat: cute and silly!! i dont really have anything else to say 9/10
davekat: eh. ive gotten pretty tired of this ship but i just cant bring myself to hate it. i know im aloud to hate ships and stuff,,, but something about it is just so,,,, unhateable... 6.5/10
rosekat: proud to have warmed up to this ship!!!!!! 9.5/10.
jadekat: two of my favorite characters????? in a RELATIONSHIP????? hell yes. sign me up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 10/10
arakat: havent seen much content of these two.... theyd be very cute and strange to eachother... yes.. 8.5/10
tavkat: they shouldve hugged like... atleast 7 times in a row... and giggle together... and hold hands... and made extreme eye contact without blinking for half an hour 15/10
solkat: suree!!!!e yeahhh!!!!!!!! okayyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!! i dont have much to say about it buts its so yahhhh!!!!!!!! 8/10
nepkat: yah yeah yeahhhh yes 10/10
kankat: no!!!! noooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 0/10
karezi: someone contain them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOW!!!!! 9/10
vriskat: they would definitely kiss if given the chance.,,, vriska would be extremely enthusiastic about it 10/10
equikat: mwah mwah mwahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh thats the sound of them kissing eachothers cheeks mwahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!! 12/10
gamkar: man. ughhhh. this ship is just too much all at once,,, too much surrounding it... makes my tummy hurt. still too stressful to rate ?/10
erikar: the girls ever!!!!!!!!!! they would rate eachother five stars in fashion frenzy just to win together and then after they would go get taco bell or something idk!!!!! 11/10
fefkat: this is my NUMBER ONE!!!!! karkat ship. have to admit!! i have thought about them way too much to the point they just live in my brain and refuse to pay any rent... i love sunshine and lollipops girl x grumpy angry kitty girl pairings!!!!! they just feel like a breath of fresh air everytime i think about them,,,, 100/100
janekat: oh man this ship would have so many flaws and im fucking living for it 13/10
roxykat: fefkat but with a alot more sass and hanging out... love them in allllLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL quadrants <3 99/100
dirkkat: basically davekat but somewhat better yet alot worse at the same time but in a good way.... cant say i lookf for content of them 24/7 but im definitely willing to!! 7.5/10
jakekat: this would be so cute and SOOOO fucking funny 80/100
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v-anrouge · 7 months
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This is a queued post and it includes talks about transphobia and mentions of self harm and eating disorders
Im here to talk and announce a break, first thing's first j relapsed, in literally like everything sh ed and didn't try to kill myself is because of a few people and the fact my pills ended. For a very long time in this blog u have not been feeling like human, it's like most of you don't even actually like and just come talk to me when im being funny and fun or when i post something rook related that you like, ive really been trying to get rid of that feeling but it keeps on coming back and it's unbearable to be in this blog at this point. this situation with Shiba only really confirmed it for me, I saw about like 4 mutuals referring to this as drama, and complaining about seeing it on dash and while obviously you have all the rights to be displeased with a constant show of negativity in your dash, i beg of you to try and think how i, a trans man, must feel seeing you refer to me and other mutuals calling out transphobia and have to read you refer to this as drama and not as a literal crime. I understand if you got annoyed by me talking about it constantly and to that i ask that you please block me, because i have been literally beaten, bullied, harassed and even doxxed by transphobes, I do not take anything that displays even a bit of prejudice against my trans siblings lightly, hence why i was so "histerical and obsessed" and was being so "stupid and acting like an idiot" as someone people would claim. I do not care what view you have of me i really don't, im used to this shit, ive been trans and alive in the most transphobic country for 20 years, it's no news, but it still hurts. And it hurts even more when I see someone say i was an idiot for blocking someone immediately and calling them out when they side with a transphobe, and it hurts even more when I see a person i thought liked me complain about "drama still going on" rest assured that i won't be "bitching" about it any longer
For soru, who cant possibly process why i have blocked you, your take on that situation and your friend have both brought me terrible flashbacks of my own past as a child dealing with transphobia, of being told people like me are sick and are the seeds of the devil and that we are animals or that there's something wrong with us, like your friend said, their apology is both not genuine and extremely poorly made as they still can't accept the fact that yes, they are transphobic, and you soru, can't imagine how it broke my soul to see your post saying you had given them a chance, but seeing the post you made after, in which you literally agree with your mother you should've stayed away from trans people, that's what broke me the most, and j couldn't even speak about it, because it's "too negative" or im "drama chasing" im sick of this, you can hate and insult me all you want soru rest assured you're not the only one you're not the first nor the last one, maybe this will come off as a surprise to the people that are sure im obsessed with drama and chasing people around but i genuinely did have a lot of respect for you, if the hours ive spent crying over this say anything at all, it's sad that this had to end this way, but not for me, I don't care, this isn't the first or the last time this happens to me, but to my mutuals who i am very sure many are angry that i have made this situation happen, perhaps i should've stayed quiet and keep being funny as people like me best, well it is too late, but i hope that you'll forgive me mutuals, for once again ruining something good.
I don't know how long this break will last or if ill ever even return to this account at all, but i sincerely thank the ones that did treat me like a human, as an equal, that actually saw the person behind v-anrouge. you can't possibly believe how much you mean to me
That's about it, do have a great day
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vinylshifting · 14 days
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ANSWERING THESE 70 QUESTIONS
(but my dr self!)
01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents?
Sure, they dont really care ehat i do so thats nice
02: Who did you last say “I love you” to?
my girlfrienddd
03: Do you regret anything?
Moving to america wahh (even though it wasnt my choice)
04: Are you insecure?
not really
05: What is your relationship status?
taken <33
06: How do you want to die?
eithee in a super cool awesome way or at my own hands /hj
07: What did you last eat?
cant remember
08: Played any sports?
i like to play hockey sometimes
09: Do you bite your nails?
nope
10: When was your last physical fight?
cant remember
11: Do you like someone?
My girlfrienndd
12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours?
Yep
13: Do you hate anyone at the moment?
Annoying ppl at school
14: Do you miss someone?
Not really tbh
15: Have any pets?
yes! my cat elivera
16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment?
Tired
17: Ever made out in the bathroom?
Wouldnt you like to know
18: Are you scared of spiders?
Nope
19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?
Maybe
20: Where was the last place you snogged someone?
What does that even mean bruh
21: What are your plans for this weekend?
sleep and play elden rings
22: Do you want to have kids? How many?
NO
23: Do you have piercings? How many?
snake bites would be cool
24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)?
Anything science or music
25: Do you miss anyone from your past?
nope, but maybe my friends from my hometown when i was little
26: What are you craving right now?
Some zaxbys
27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart?
never
28: Have you ever been cheated on?
Nope, my girlfriend is my first (and only) relationship
29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?
i dont think so
30: What’s irritating you right now?
School 100%
31: Does somebody love you?
My girlfriend
32: What is your favourite color?
Grey, any shade of grey
33: Do you have trust issues?
A tiny bit
34: Who/what was your last dream about?
Cant remember
35: Who was the last person you cried in front of?
My online friend
36: Do you give out second chances too easily?
Sometimes
37: Is it easier to forgive or forget?
Forget
38: Is this year the best year of your life?
I cherish every year
39: How old were you when you had your first kiss?
13??? maybe 14
40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked?
No, and never plan to
51: Favourite food?
SOUP 🔥🔥 any kind i love soup
52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason?
Yes
53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?
Probably jerk off scroll instagram reels
54: Is cheating ever okay?
No never
55: Are you mean?
I wouldnt say i am
56: How many people have you fist fought?
Idfk
57: Do you believe in true love?
Yes
58: Favourite weather?
RAIN, or cloudy days. i like the cold
59: Do you like the snow?
yes 100%
60: Do you wanna get married?
To my girlfriend yes
61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?
Only when its my girlfriend
62: What makes you happy?
My friends, Alcohol, My girlfriend
63: Would you change your name?
No
64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?
Nope
65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?
Pepper spray, im locked in with my girl
66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?
Not really
67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?
My mom
68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?
My girlfriend
69: Do you believe in soulmates?
Yes
70: Is there anyone you would die for?
My girlfriend or my friends
(feel free to take this idea too!!)
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fictionfixations · 4 months
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Kalim in RSA (and I get off-topic)
Spoilers for Book 4 and 5 (im sorry jamil enjoyers. but im so biased towards kalim its not even funny)
(this spiraled into me talking all about kalim in the actual game so oops)
imagine how different the story would be if kalim was in RSA
and we just hear from jamil about these snippets about his 'master' (although itd be weird they'd be separated if jamil tended to him often to where he'd prob be like his personal servant? idk what situation would have jamil talk to us anyway but yknow maybe we get close, he's like the other friend who seems cool? he'll basically help us out with knowledge about things, fleshing out the world a bit more, as the only sophomore in the group cause he kind of feels responsible maybe? then BETRAYAL)
and then eventually partway through the school year KALIM IS THERE (we know why though) and he somehow ends up housewarden.
i have a dislike against RSA. its very petty and its kind of because they keep winning (and they dont even mean ill intent which is worse! …but its kind of like kalims kindness. and i like kalim but that might make me biased. SO. thus the existence of this.)
we probably wouldnt like him much right? (and i imagine he'd get his fair share of bullies. we find this out. he laughs it off like 'nah, im used to attempted assassinations and everything. this isnt nearly as bad.')
(id do the clapping between but ppl get annoyed, and i get annoyed) CUE KALIM BEING MORE THAN SMILES AND WE LEARN THAT ABOUT HIM !!
HES aware enough that he can cook food good using JUST magic (which takes precision to use it as good or even better than your hands right??. its in his labwear vignette. ruggies teaching him ofc so ruggie wants it to be good cause hes taking leftovers, BUT CMOONNN he can learn. ..and yeah it took a few years for jamil to teach kalim antidotes to common poisons so he could do it easy but kalims hardly a master at making potions so i call that good)
AND in book 5 he noticed vil had like the same look as jamil to where he knew something was going to go wrong (aka the poisoning)
maybe its to show how much kalim doesnt belong in NRC and thats why they dont pull the 'more than he looks at first glance' like cater with glimpses in vignettes and etc
but like COME ON.
the sultan might be dumb (i recently re-watched aladdin) but at least he knew enough that he didnt want jafar marrying his daughter cause hes OLD and also he doesnt want to force jasmine into anything (good intentions. im sure if they just waited and she didnt find a suitor in time he would've just CHANGED THE LAW like he did IN THE MOVIE because he wants her to be happy!)
ALSo he tried to look through the law jafar claimed to say that would make her have to be married to the vizier or whatever (aka jafar) but then jafar just pulled it away before he could (and then attempted to mind control him when he refused) mans was prepared to spend hours reading over it even if he didnt understand it but he wasnt given the chance
also kalim is worryingly nonchalant about stuff. i mean. you can get used to horrible things to where they just feel so normal and uninmportant i guess? but poor bby. hes been like 'i want to keep myself alive because if i die then someone else will get punished.' or like about poisoning, if someone has a change of mind and hes already dead, then he cant do something to help them, so he has to make sure he'll live.
..i really doubt that hes just. so oblivious. maybe in denial, but still.
anyway i got very off topic. my bad. and to be fair we do get to see more of him at some parts. but hhh
okay listen. denial. (i am also a believer that if when kalim confronted jamil, if he said he didnt do anything kalim wouldve believed him. bruh gave him excuses like '..i just got tired, right?')
"The real Jamil would never do such things! He's a good guy. He's always helping me, giving me a shoulder to lean on, and—" (Book 4 • Chapter 33)
we just. dont see him really crumble?? he just. keeps being optimistic
we convince him jamil is bad. he resolves to punch him for being a traitor and THATS IT?
he sobs at the end of jamils overblot but then he goes back to being optimistic like 'lets be equals!' (..it feels like he didnt really learn much though as he's still 'I didn't notice--' 'I--' and i wish he couldve gotten more awareness. cause he makes it about himself yknow and blaming himself but COME ON put some blame on jamil PLEASE? or like. ANYONE ELSE. you also cant notice shit if no one ever tells you about it that you dont even know to look for it! he doesnt want to be cautious about who he can trust so like, why would he think to doubt the person who hes known his entire life??? especially if its something that was just always there that it feels natural, how could he know better? hes sheltered! so someone shouldve explained it to him, made him realize things! aghhh)
heres the book 5 one btw
"I got a real bad feeling when I saw the look on your face after Neige's rehearsal. It was practically the same look I saw on Jamil's face when he lost control of himself over holiday break." (Book 5 • Chapter 62)
And I mean maybe he did learn in that he's more aware of this now than others because he knows what people could look like because of Jamil, but I feel like a lot of things were just so unsaid. That the first time blindsided him, but now he's kind of a little more worried about something happening while he's there that he didn't notice so now he's trying to notice things more??? Or like maybe having gut feelings that he'd ignored before because it was Jamil but now knowing better?
So he can be aware. but then the rest of the time he's just thought of as dumb or an idiot or forgetful and it just makes me sad. and i mean i get that he wants to see the best in people but we never really talk about how its more that its denial. a refusal to see it, and i want to understand why
or maybe its because he sees the good in people that he trusts they'll do the right thing. or he believes that the good outweigh the bad (although i dont know if it'd be the same case if it was someone he knew who got hurt)
like. okay back in book 5
"Besides, I would bet there isn't a single person in Scarabia who hasn't gotten help from Jamil at some point. Am I right?"
"See? There you go. He's been a model vice housewarden. In fact, he's put me to shame. He let dark thoughts get the better of him for a brief time. Other than that, he's a perfectly capable guy." (Book 5 • Chapter 10)
He justifies it with that Jamil isn't the only one to blame (he also blames himself), and that Jamil hadn't done anything wrong before then
which. AGAIn. means that in his eyes the good outweigh the bad. jamils better at his duties so jamil should stay as vice housewarden.
this was the first time jamil did anything bad so it'd be fine, it was just an error in judgment
AGHHh
nothing about the fact that his closest friend he views as a brother
"He's grown up with Jamil since a young age, and considers him a brother in all but blood." (from the In-game Album)
who would be the last person he'd expect to do such a thing BETRAYS HIM, planning to make everyone (or well just the people in scarabia) turn against him
like. that has to be a shock right??? AND THEN HE JUST. welcomes him back into his life like it was nothing im just. kALIM. SWEETIE.
and i mean i get its for the best since if anyone knew what actually happened anything could happen to jamil (and jamil has his own reasons i get that but this is about kalim)
but he still hangs around him. has him as his aide. so while something did change, it also feels like nothing changed at the same time.
"I'm always chosen. Always. That's such an obvious truth that I never even consciously processed it. But now I see that was only possible because of Jamil's constant sacrifices. He created that "truth" in my mind by always holding back. By always letting me win. ...It stings. "Galling" doesn't even begin to describe it." (Book 5 • Chapter 30)
also like one of the very few times he expresses how he feels about something (how it hurts not to be chosen for the first time, and/or that he was only chosen because of someone else so he wants to work hard)
and then grim shuts him down with "You wanna talk about galling? Imagine how I feel not even makin' the cut for the audition to start with."
like. COME ON.
Kalim responds with, "Ah, you're right. My bad! I didn't mean to rub it in. Goodness, there I go again! I'm super sorry, honest."
and yeah it can seem kind of spoiled but also. its probably because of that that he doesnt want to share his troubles because he's very privileged so it feels like he might not deserve to act like its anything when everyone else has to work so much harder, right?
AND ITS JUST. REAFFIRMING TO HIM THAT his troubles are nothing compared to anyone elses and im just aghhauihduadhw
he also cares a lot about other people (people like him as housewarden because he listens to their troubles and supports them) so i just. want him to be able to take a moment to care about himself and just admit these things that he usually doesnt get the chance to.
i got a lot more worked up than i meant to
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enlighten3d · 2 days
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guys im going so insane rn why are they letting me think abt both rau and poetry at once oh my gods
I NEED TO EXPLAIN RAU TO TUMBLR. PARROT KILLS WIFIES BY ACCIDENT BCS HE THOUGHT THAT HE WAS THE CLONE AND THEN THE CLONE (lastfies) REPLACES WIFIES AND PARROT DENIALS/GASLIGHTS HIMSELF INTO THINKING THAT WIFIES NEVER DIED AND THEN HE HAS TO UNLEARN THAT AND LASTFIES IS FUCKED UP AND KILLS PEOPLE INCLUDING KEN BCS KEN DOES NOT LIKE THE SITUATION AND PARROT BLAMES HIMSELF FOR EVERYTHING AND O H M Y G O D S
theres. so much symbolism and cool shit and aaaaaaaaaaaa i love this au deeply. im not normal abt it. i love lastfies. hes fucked up (bcs this is based off The Post and hes the last living clone). and theres the thing of it being a tradition to the clones to rip off the part of the headband that says that clones number when you kill them so when lastfies kills ken (bcs ken and parrot were arguing abt the whole wiifes is dead thing (ken didnt know), parrot was getitng upset and lastfies does anth for parrot bcs parrot saved him and he respects parrot (aka completely misunderstands his grief as approval), lastfies gives parrot kens earring. so. whats another guy dead. he doesnt know ken.
and parrot cant even look at the moon or the stars anymore bcs wifies liked the stars and lastfies doesnt. and when he finally makes a grave for wifies he talks to the stars and imagines him (and ken) as one of the stars looking down at him. and the graves are in the place where parrot buried wifies headband, and the place where he leaves flowers upon flowers, two yellow carnations (one for each of them), and endless apologies, and he gives ken the explanations that she never got but ken doesnt hear them because shes dead.
and wato saw wifies die, saw parrot leave with the wrong wifies, but maybe it was a dream, maybe it was their memory being fucked up after the mask. they stop putting in the personal touches in the escape room, make them a bit easier. the new wifies never was as good at escape rooms. the point isnt to trap lastfies and parrot in them forever. and he cant even grieve because hes not going to fucking talk to parrot, and kens still stuck in proton (HES DEAD KEN IS DEAD HE DIED AT THE END OF PROTON BUT PARROT TELLS NO ONE AND EVERYONE THINKS THST HES ALIVE, JUST TRAPPED IN PROTON FOREVER), so she waits for ken yo show back up so they can figure it out, but ken never shows up.
and the memory of who wifies is is as fucked up as ever. evilfies was wifies, clonefies was wifies, and now its lastfies. clonefies (our wifies) never got an identity of his own, he was always just wifies, no one ever knew that he was separate from Before Wifies (evilfies), and no one now knows that lastfies is a different wifies too. and parrot accidentally killed the memory of clonefies too, not just because he literally killed him but because he never talks about him.
and lastfies thinks that parrot is proud of him, that hes doing the right thing, bcs lastfies has never known anything other than violence and betrayal and tearing off a part of who ones victim was as a keepsake, as a tradition, as maybe a higher chance his number will get called. and parrot is strong in his eyes, parrot just killed yet another wifies, parrot is proud of him because he wears the victories (he keeps that bloodied spyglass on his belt and ties that earring onto a piece of string tucked amongst his feathers and he never lets them go) that lastfies gave him. all of lastfies victories (branzy, thing 1 and thing 2 (kier and dev) (yes those three are dead), and ken) are now parrots bcs hes given them all to parrot. parrot has everything of lastfies thst has ever mattered and lastfies doesnt mind because parrot is his everything and his only friend and ally and as things have always gone that means thet psrrot will kill him eventually and lastfies will accept that when the day comes because hes only ever known betrayal.
fuck im not okay this au is all that i have been thinking for the past three days. fuck. @milo-the-mage thank you for coming up with this idea but also fuck you /pos
gods. sorry this is so incoherent but PLEASEEEEE ASK QUESTIONS IF YOU HAVE THEM, THERES SOOO MUCH I COULD EXPLAINNNNNNN
fuck
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the-s1lly-corner · 9 months
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Caine x reader HCs for how Caine would react if reader proposed to him? Romantic of course
(scurries behind a wall)
Caine x reader who proposes to him!
points at the wall i was gonna say something silly but i got distracted by the silly music im blaring in my headphones rn sobs
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bold of you to assume he wouldnt propose to you first the second he gets his hands on a ring, of which he can likely summon at any given moment/j
that said if you were to propose to him first, i think he would blankly stare at the ring youve presented to him for a few seconds
not because you did anything wrong
nono you did nothing wrong... hes just a little surprised is all..!
before you can ask him if hes alright you just see his eyes get all wide, perhaps even sparkling like you see in cartoons and/or anime, and he just
says yes
not a simple yes, mind you. no, caine is always showering you in affection and compliments, going on entire tangents on every single little thing that he loves about you, gushing about you to everyone regardless of if theyre listening or not. pretty much spilling his heart out to you every chance that he gets.... and this is not going to be an exception, he launches into one of his monologues about how lucky he is to have you, how much he loves you, how yes hes going to marry you. probably starts planning your futures together before you can even slip the ring onto his finger
absolute sucker for love, i think. very much into stereotypical romantic tropes and gestures, so if you want a build up to the proposal i recommend a date. and a really good one. ask him out to dinner, hes going to take you to that fancy restaurant where he and bubble were... or perhaps ask him to the digital carnival, and propose to him at the top of the ferris wheel... or perhaps dont do a date. set him on a scavenger hunt where the final prize is you with the ring! you could even get some of the other circus members in on it!
immediately launches into wedding planning, no no no in fact he might even ask to get married right then and there! he can just 'magic' in the appropriate décor for the ceremony!
though if you tell him to slow down, he will attempt to contain his excitement
bubble is the officiant at the wedding/j
though, oddly enough i can see kinger having officiated a few weddings in the real world.. dont see him as a priest or anything like that, though, but it appears you dont need to be in order to be an officiant. cant explain why i can see him having done that, maybe its because hes old and i see him as a sap, buuuuuuuuut.. so if you dont want bubble to do it you can probably ask kinger/hj
gotta hit em with the angst, but imagine the exit to the digital world is found. like can you imagine having to make a choice between returning home and staying with your new husband
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nomeniko · 4 months
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hi :D for the ask game What do you wish more people understood about kazui? Which trial 2 MV do you enjoy the most, and why?
thank you for the ask i would grovel at ur feet in gratitude i hope the sun shines down and makes the light dance for u and you only today
1. if anything ive seen a few theories of kazui possibly revealing himself to be a two faced manipulator of sorts due to his self proclaimed liarness…. like ‘ohh u cant trust what he says he cld be trying to make himself look pitiable to the audience to get voted inno’ sort of theories which is. no he wont do that???
is he a liar? to a degree yes—liar not in the sense that what he says are direct falsities, but more like hes built much of his character to constantly disguise his true intentions/feelings as a defense mechanism. the lies he says are less of words from a schemer and more of redirections from someone who is, all in all, an insecure adult scared of what will happen if he isnt able to meet peoples expectations of him
as much as he calls himself a liar hes mad honest about where he thinks his capabilities lie, which is to say he doesnt believe in his capabilities at all lol. when amane asks him for help with her studies, he turns her down after some consideration bc he doesnt believe himself to be smart enough to help (despite having graduated from a university; sports degree or not credit shld be given where credit is due). when he talks to shidou post ktk attack, he refuses to admit doing any of the work in taking care of the situation and instead puts all the praise onto shidou. even his physical strength and skill (which is arguably the one part of him he does acknowledge and take some sort of belief in) is something he treats as less of something that he has achieved himself and more of an obligation of his—like, hes strong bc to him he HAS to be, bc it is expected of him to protect those who need protecting. he does want to protect others, sure, but much of that wanting comes frm how ingrained it is in him that thats what hes good for, thats what his strength is for (his timeline w/ yuno on her bday says as much nyway)
the way i see it, that self deprication of his plays back into his obsession with meeting the expectations placed onto him, or at least lessening the disappointment of others by lessening those expectations in the first place. if u tell someone that u didnt go to the right university, that u didnt do much to help anyway, that u were born so fundamentally wrong as a person that everything is bound to go to shit as long as ur there (he basically said this to es in his t1 vd im not even kidding), wouldnt that ensure the safety that youre less likely to ruin someone elses confidence in you? less likely to ruin bc in the small chance that u still fuck up, theres not much left to ruin at that point
in the end ig what i wish more ppl understood abt kazui is that hes a liar yes, but not a manipulator. he lies to stay safe, not to be a sadist or whatever. you cant take what he says at face value (in much the same way u cant do the same for any other prisoner tbh), but that does not mean u shldnt take anything he says srsly at all!!!
2. ok this one i have to give a bit of thought, mostly bc i cant pick just one
if the standards were which t2 mv do i enjoy for its direction music n visual wise, purge march takes the cake so quickly. the music itself is so bomb (which like, i cant even find a logical explanation as to why… its just so good to listen to) n the mv itself does such a great job at creating the right atmosphere, both in its flashy theatrics and the subtle uncanniness under it. mayb i have a slight bias bc tpm was the whole reason i got into milgram in the first place, but i stand by it idccc
aesthetic wise, def all knowing and all agony. the horror elements r genuinely disturbing, but not so overbearing that it overwrites the pop style that milgram has going on. i luove the use of amber for blood, plus the filters that remind me of found footage u usually see show up in asian horror movies. i think i was actually terrified the first time i watched the mv
symbolic wise, its cat always and forever god bless. it takes advantage of its aesthetics to hint at subtle secrets so well that it makes me giddy as hell. the use of colors as a part of the set, the transitions frm scene to scene having its own part in making the story, n honestly making the bg more blank than usual readjusts the focus of the mv on what matters p well. i cant mention every detail rn or else id be here all day
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fabaceous · 1 year
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do you think jackieshauna could've gotten together eventually if the plane didn't crash/if jackie hadn't died or were they doomed from the start?
hi anon i know this took a while (sorry) but it's because this is one of my favorite cans of worms to open and i had a lot to say. so thank you for giving me an excuse to talk about it ;)
my answer, depending on the day and my mood, ranges from NO to YES, BUT to NO, BUT.
NO, because i think that even on a pure friendship level they are doomed. their flaws were like, designed in a lab (or a writer's room lol) to tear them apart. jackie is insecure and holds on too tightly to shauna. shauna quietly resents jackie for it and fucks around behind her back. as long as they have these traits, their relationship is a ticking time bomb. they will never make it within ten miles of a romantic relationship because even their friendship is doomed.
NO, because even if their friendship doesn't implode, they are both simply too damn repressed to ever make a move. im not even saying this as a cop-out, like, i truly believe in my heart and soul that they both have latent romantic feelings for each other but they tie themselves in all sorts of pretzels to avoid it and i'll go even further and say they are both REALLY FUCKING GOOD AT IT. like more so than most people. given my own experiences denying my (in hindsight incredibly obvious) feelings for girls (and i SUCK at repressing things) i have no doubt at all that they could go the rest of their lives convincing themselves that some girlfriendships are Just Like That. the human mind is a very powerful thing and the human mind on comphet and repression? nearly unstoppable. and even if they dont have some world-shattering blowout, and their friendship just sort of fizzles out for some nebulous and ambiguous (read: gay yearning related) reason, years later they'll still be looking back at their relationship saying Huh. Wasnt That Weird...Well...Nevertheless...I'm Sure It Was Nothing To Worry About...
like, okay, im gonna spend a little more time with this one because i think their repression is so key to their dynamic. jackie is obviously unable to face any aspect of herself that is even remotely imperfect. gay feelings for shauna would definitely fall into that category given what i assume she has internalized from her parents and her peers and it being the 1990s. shauna, while more willing to accept her dark side, cant bear the thought of wanting jackie like that. its the one bridge she cant cross. she'll literally fuck jeff. fucking JEFF!!! before she lets herself act on desire for jackie (at least not in a straightforward/normal way lol)
i think both of them on some level must feel that they have a desire for each other, or else they wouldn't be so desperate to avoid it. but they are SO desperate to avoid it, and i don't really have anything to back this up other than my gut feeling but i just can't imagine them ever overcoming their respective hurdles of repression, and definitely not under normal high-school circumstances. MAYBE in the wilderness they would've had a chance IF THINGS HAD GONE VERY DIFFERENTLY because they would be free from societal expectations or whatever, and maybe a life or death situation could've given them enough of a shock that they'd finally own up to their feelings. but EVEN THEN, personally, i think it's still questionable. i think this is just so deeply rooted that it would be anywhere from incredibly difficult to impossible for both of them to get past it. (it's no good if only one of them overcomes the repression, btw. then you just have unrequited pining (but secretly actually requited but the other person won't admit that they're requiting it so it's effectively unrequited which would be perhaps even worse and more painful. btw. if you even care))
now on to the other options...
YES, BUT, even if by some miracle they were able to get past their repression and date each other, i guarantee you all their toxic habits would be not only repeated but MAGNIFIED by being in a romantic relationship. like, ok, the good news is, they would finally be free to be openly obsessed with each other lol. but... imagine jackie gets EVEN MORE insecure about shauna leaving her because now she actually feels like she has a legit claim on shauna being "hers". before, her possessiveness (for lack of a more nuanced term) was tempered by the fact that they are just friends, and shauna should theoretically be allowed to have other friends, even if jackie doesn't like it. but shauna should NOT be having other girlfriends. so jackie would likely be reaching new levels of terrified of shauna leaving her. shauna would still be unable to address conflict directly. rinse and repeat this whooooole vicious cycle until it blows up in their faces like laura le--[gunshot]
finally, NO, BUT, and this one may be controversial & a bit more far fetched than the others, but i do think that under the right circumstances they could kiss or even fuck without it compromising their repression. i actually even think they could have a sort of sneaky situationship while still repressing their bigscaryfeelings for each other. HEAR ME OUT. they are both very careful about compartmentalizing their desire for each other and keeping it hidden FROM THEMSELVES. they often fail and it boils over despite their best efforts, but the more important thing is that they think they're succeeding at keeping their desire from breaching containment. and as long as they have that plausible deniability where they are hiding it from themselves, even if they don't manage to hide it from the rest of us (or even each other), i dont think its impossible for them to act on the desire, like, on pure instinct, but without actually intellectually or emotionally acknowledging the larger implications that that brings. and even if the desire breaches containment, they could still find a way to write it off as just desire in general and not desire for each other specifically. especially when they also still have the excuse of being horny teenagers with no impulse control, they could easily brush it off as, oh, we were just drunk, we were just experimenting. or even, oh, it was just shauna, it's not like i actually LIKE-like her, i just made out with her, but its shauna, so it obviously doesnt mean anything.
and i think they could even do this consistently for weeks months MAYBE up to a year or so, while deluding themselves into thinking this is somehow normal or not a big deal. because they have already proven they are masters of doublethink and repression, otherwise we wouldn't have gotten this far lol. but it would 100% also blow up in their faces. the question is, who would crack first? who would want something real? or who would walk away because it got too real? theres sooo much to ponder with this particular scenario and it's all very juicy and compelling (and GOD would i love to see it unfold with my own two eyeballs, can bart and ashley please write and film an AU of their own tv show?!) but i dont think it would ever lead them anywhere good or healthy.
so long story short (lol. conciseness has never been my strong suit as is probably abundantly clear by now) i personally do not think there is any possibility of a satisfying happy-ending scenario for these two. and i personally am perfectly okay with that because so much about them would have to change in order for them to get a happy ending that at that point, they would no longer be the jackie and shauna that i know and love.
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shrublee · 7 months
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SPOILERS IF U HAVEN'T WATCHED THE LATEST TUBBO STREAM AS OF TODAY (Feb 21, 24) JUST SO U KNOW !!!!!! I will summarize these massive paragraphs in the points at the very end in a sort of timeline order that I can think of for this so gonna start off this rant talking about how the timeline makes absolutely no sense at all
So there was some sort of ancient thing from "long long ago" or something and they went to get the remains of it because for whatever reason that was gonna help to bring q!Tubbo back
also Creation was built by Tubbo to protect the eggs(? or atleast thats what its doing rn) (mainly Sunny I assume but could've originally started building it for Chayanne and Tallulah) after it was built it was given instructions I guess on what to do in case of certain situations such as him being gone in any way etc etc
but if Tubbo erased his memory (we'll come back to how that doesn't make sense as of now, later) of building Creation, then he must have already been given Sunny by the federation in order for him to have been able to put her as rank 1 on the list (because of course, he erased his memory of Creation, so he couldn't have gone back and changed it later)
Creation had been originally built "long long ago" (during the time of said ancient thing from earlier, some sort of order or something? we don't really know (double parentheses, crazy I know, but keep in mind that order could also potentially mean like "given an order" as in something it was told to do previously)) so was Creation originally built for something else? and then his purpose was changed to protect the eggs after that? Well then that implies Tubbo knew Creation existed during his time on Quesadilla island up until sometime after he got Sunny (I've seen some people talk about time travel theories about what I just said but im not gonna get into that cuz its a whole lot, im just saying what we know and adding a tiny bit of theories into it)
He joined an Operation at some point also? Im assuming during the long ago ancient era or whatever but like bro these are too many words to remember
So "the old order" and "the operation" are most likely 2 separate things as Creation doesn't typically use multiple names for one thing
So he made Creation before he joined the operation as a "last effort to hold on" and he did all that "very very long ago before the island looked like what it [does] today"
last effort to hold on makes me think like, as in someones dying? like Creation is his last chance if he comes close to death (which based on what we've seen makes complete sense)
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anyways enough of confusing timeline stuff for now, time to get into whats going on with Tubbo specifically
Personally I though he might've been a robot, and I still believe that to be true despite information we've been given I feel its sort of a really badly kept secret on Creations part, it keeps sort of slipping up in its wording, forgetting saying things like "he will be shut off for good" is not the typical word use for humans(?) (things that are alive ig)
Because bro like you cant just drop "he was never alive to begin with" (he said talking to Phil) and like...... do anything else with that???? If something was never alive, it was never alive, like I dunno what else Tubbo could be without never have been alive?? It could've been an exaggeration or meant to be more like "he was never alive since the day you met him" instead of never alive at all
besides that, getting back to the "he erased his memory about specifically Creation existing" point not making sense, that is also why I think hes a robot still, cause how else would bro be able to just grab a specific memory from his brain and delete it??????
PLUS THE NEEDED DATA TO BRING HIM BACK HOW, WHO, WHERE, WHAT, WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD YOU NEED DATA TO REVIVE SOMEONE WHO WASN'T A ROBOT??
even if hes not a robot bros got some like computer chip in his brain or something like........
also just gonna add in that on the original Creation stream (Niki's stream) he says something along the lines of protecting all the eggs except the one that isn't actually an egg or something Just wanna say that I think this is referring to Tubbo because yeah, he was always jokingly treated as an egg with cookies and everything and then towards the end he only had 2 lives just like them and Creation never protected him cause (A) he wasn't actually an egg and (B) Tubbo can't know he exists, so even if he wanted to protect him he couldn't either that or it was code flippa but whateverrrr :P
anyways thats the end of that for now until my brain goes crazy again
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Tubbo made Creation before he joined "The Operation" (don't know what Creation was originally built for)
he did all that "very very long ago before the island looked like what it [does] today"
At some point he was frozen in the ice prison after this (we don't know for sure if he still has his memories of before this at this point, but most likely does for this to make sense (unless time travel maybe but we don't talk about that))
After meeting everyone and getting close with the eggs (specifically Chayanne and Tallulah) he starts changing the purpose of Creation to protect the eggs
Not long after this hes given Sunny by the Fed
He then completes Creations new purpose by putting in the ranking system (he would've had to have met Sunny before this or it doesn't make sense)
Then he deletes his memories (somehow lmao) of Creation
Creation is most likely shut down and hidden away somewhere, set to only activate if needed (dunno what these reasons he would've given Creation would be but one of them was definitely if he went missing/died or something)
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starrixle · 8 months
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my final thoughts on sootcest
ok, so officially im gonna close off my thoughts here. ive received a good amount of feedback so this will be the last thing ill say abt my thoughts on glitterduo/sootcest:
i am indifferent on selfcest shipping. idk if its proship or not, but i will remain distanced either way, for my own and other people's comfort with me and my content
i still enjoy bursonas and i will still keep drawing them and be present in the fandom, but i will not be involved in anything relating to shipping
any glitterduo art i post will be strictly platonic, same for any of the other bursonas
i do not hate or support sootcest, nor will i attack anyone who ships it. i do not care what your opinion is, i won't hate you for shipping bursonas together. just do not involve me in it
it is not my or anyone else's place to speak on wilbur's boundaries, only himself
as for my own boundaries:
do not involve me in discourse relating to sootcest (or selfcest altogether). i dont want to be associated
do not repost my old romantic glitterduo art. i cant force everyone, but id appreciate if any reblogs relating to my older art were deleted
if you disagree with anything i say, it is not worth any more of my time or energy to argue back, and it is not worth yours either
please stop messaging me about sootcest!!! i will leave my inbox open but i will close it if i continue to get messages about it
i haven't given myself much of a chance to step back and realize how much getting involved and constantly feeling the need to post lengthy texts towards by thoughts has taken so much energy out of me. i do regret having an aggresive tone in my past impulsively made posts, which is why ive deleted a lot of them. but from now on, i wish to just remain as an artist that just likes drawing silly little wilbur personas. shipping bursonas shouldn't be a big deal to me. i have made my own mistakes throughout this whole thing, but i at least wanna close things off here.
i know my old glitterduo art has brought enjoyment/comfort to many people, but it has also brought discomfort for others including myself. i know im not gonna be able to please everyone and people will have their disagreements towards me no matter what.
but for the sake of my own comfort, im stepping away from this subject. i have no ill feelings towards anyone who has communicated with me about this topic, and i thank everyone who has been civil towards me and given me advice.
im moving on.
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eclipse-rain · 1 year
Text
'Awalie (Once; in the Past); Part 3
☆☆☆
- Spiders not in this fic because i literally cant handle writing any kind of redemption arc for him sry
Part 1 Part 2
Masterlist~
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☆☆☆
Crawling through a vent wasnt something you thought you would ever do in your life once, nevermind twice.
As you had previously discovered the first time you went through it, the other end put you right inside the control room which was perfect for you, although not as much for Neteyam. This was because you had also previously discovered that although the vent could fit you, the same couldnt be said for your new seven foot tall friend.
This had been something you had thought about after seeing where the vent led to the first time you crawled through it though. Why else would you have risked your life to get the avatar who was guarding the door to the control room away from it?
Neteyam could get in through that way. What was even better was that he could once again be a distraction for the two who were left inside the room ; the pilot and co-pilot. While you suck in unnoticed through the vent to put what was hopefully the last part of your 'plan', to freaking hijack this spaceship, into action.
And thats exactly what you did. Okay maybe it wasnt the best idea you both could have come up with but what else were you suposed to do? The next thing you knew Neteyam had snuck in the control room door and was now grabbing all the pilots attention, while you crawled out of the vent and booked it towards the ship control panel where the pilots had previously been seated.
The good news was that the pilots were scared enough to flee the room when given the chance to by neteyam, unbeknownst to them who thought they had luckly eacaped. The bad news was that now they would call for back up. Sure Neteyam could have shot them as he brought the gun along with him, so as not to be completely defenceless, but by that point they had already pushed the emergency button on the control panel, sending warnings anew.
Locking the door to the room once they left, you both didnt waste anytime trying to find out just how many soilders would now be headed straight to this room. Now sitting in the pilots chair, you glanced above you only to see a computer screen desplaying the numbers 2169 in the corner.
"Oh fxck it really is 2169, you weren't kidding"
"See, i wasnt lying. I'm not as reckless as my brother." He laughed before becoming serious once again "Now how do we get this thing off the ground?" He asked you like you had all the answers
"How should i know? Try and find a manual or something"
"The pilots already started it though so cant you just fly it away now?"
"Well if its that easy then why dont you do it?" You scoffed, trying to figure out how to turn on autopilot. Of course you werent going to fly this thing, you had no idea how, you could guide it but autopilot would have to do the rest of the work.
"I thought all humans could fly a spaceship?"
"Of course not! Im sixteen, i cant fly a spaceship!"
"But all na'vi children can fly ikrans already by that age, isnt it like the same thing?!"
You paused for a split second, not knowing wheather to laugh or cry. You wondered if you should try slapping yourself to see wheather or not you would wake up from this absolutely ludicrous dream.
"...NO! When your sixteen you learn how to drive a car. A car! Not a freaking spaceship!"
"Whats a car?!"
"..."
"It doesnt matter!!" You shouted, getting off topic
You were both panicing now.
"Cant you do something? Anything?!" Neteyam questioned urgently, now seeing people start to gather outside of the control room door
"Im trying! Do you want us to die?!"
Hesitating, you finally layed your hands down on the steering wheel of the spaceship. You put them at two and ten like you had been taught when learning how to drive a car but the wheel was almost a completely diffrent shape.
"Well were going to either way so we might as well try it now that we've gotten this far." ; Was his reasoning to have you go along with him now that you both were here and in this situation together. A crowd of people gathered at the door now, along with even some avatars who wielded guns strapped to their person.
"Try what?" You asked him, trying to gat him to elaborate
"This!"
Suddenly Neteyam shoved his much larger hands over your own and pulled up forcefully. Shaking violently, the ship lurched high up into the air and the two of you lunged backwards with the force. You could only imagine what happened to the crowd of people outside the room after that happened, a small smile was etched onto your face in victory but it didnt stay there for long.
Neteyam, not being seated, was almost thrown to the ground had he not been clutching onto your hands on the wheel for dear life. You guessed he really didnt want to die a second time and frankly neither did you. But at this rate you werent sure if all your struggling up till now would end in a fiery spaceship crash.
"I thought you said you weren't as reckless as your brother?!" You shouted over the sound of the spaceship bursting into action
"Desperate times call for desperate measures!" He shouted back with a nervous smile
"Isnt that a human saying?!"
"I dont know, is it?!"
"Wait thats not whats important right now! Is this really the time to be having this conversation?!"
Just then the spaceship stoped traveling upwards and leveled out. A breef second of tranquillity was all it took to make your stomach lurch as the nose of the spaceship tipped towards the waves crashing up against the cliff down below, before it went barrling downwards, the both of you screaming in unison as it went.
Before the both of you ended up dead once again in a head on collision with the ground, you fumbled around once more, soon seeing a little light ding on, indicating you had hit the right button for the autopilot.
"Neteyam!"
Understanding your calling of him instantaniously, Neteyam helped you to pull the nose of the space ship up and away from the crashing waves below.
Soon you both breathed sighs of relief, thanking Eywa or whoever else that you had gotten out of that with your lives and all your limbs still intact.
~~~
Mapping out your destination was easy, for whatever reason they already had the co-ordinates of Neteyams home in the spaceship. As you rested, while autopilot took the lead with the flying, Neteyam had time to tell you why that was and everything that happened to his family and the Na'vi people.
You didnt know where you were going to go from here or what you were supposed to do to get home but one thing you were sure of was that you couldnt stay with the humans who were on Pandora. Even if there was a slim to none chance that the Na'vi where you were going would help you that didnt matter.
It wasnt just your own feelings, it was something more than that. You had been feeling it for a while now, since you woke up but you had been trying to ignore it. Your body must have been feeling wierd because of what those scientists did to you. Thats what you had thought but you even had this gut feeling that those scientists had definitely been experimented on you, even though you were asleep the whole time. Why was that? What made you so sure?
And why werent you more scared to be heading to a Na'vi settlement? You were all alone here, that was true but somehow you felt that you werent as well. That something inside of you was trying to calm you, keep you safe, guide you, for whatever reason. Maybe those experiments really had done a number on your body as well as your brain seemingly. Or maybe the adrenalin was making you delusional like how it can block out the pain.
You didnt know what was going on with you, with your family, with this world, with the humans. But you wanted to. You needed answers and for now, this was seemingly the only way to get them. Neteyam told you alot, you bet your life that the others could tell you more. It was another gut feeling to you, was it still a reckless impulse? Probably. For lack of a better word, although if you had a choice that better word you would use would be 'improvisation'.
The blaring sirens had stopped, so did the blinding red lights but the humans at the door did nothing to ease your minds. The avatars contributed to that even less so. You had made it about half way to your destination before you couldnt take it anymore. You had to get away from them and this ship now before they broke down the door.
Setting off the alarms again to give you some cover you both slipped through the vent and made your way to the exit chamber door of the spaceship, although not without a little protest from Neteyam.
"I cant fit through there"
"No time to complain, you'll be fine"
"Barely"
"Okay then stay here and perish, see ya"
*2 minutes later*
"Could you crawl any slower?!" You asked having worked reverse sicology to its finest
"You're the one who made me go through here"
"Thats because your lanky ass didnt wanna be left behind and i will leave you behind if you dont hurry up!" The two of you bickered in an attempt to push things along
With the humans still trying to get into the room behind you, it would not be long before they realised what had happened and came after you both once again.
And that they did, much faster then either of you had expected and so neither of you had any sort of plan. You both now stood with the door to the spaceship wide open, thousands of feet in the air, wind threatening to suck you out down to the watery depths below.
"So...whos going first?"
"Are you right in the head?" He asked in a panic without any parachute or any kind of machine around that would aid in a safe and swift landing
"No, what made you think that?" You retorted completely serious "I did just wake up from being brain dead so what gave you the impression that listening to me was a good idea?"
"Alright, point taken" he sighed in defeat
You heard the hurried footsteps of soilders rush towards you, guns clinking against their uniforms. There was only one option left and you both knew it.
"So....on three?" You shouted towards Neteyam over the wind
A banging on the latched door to the exit chamber you were both in swiftly coerced you into action.
"Three!" You shouted in usison, turning to each other with a nod before running and diving out of the wide open exit of the spaceship. The humans would be left with an unpleasant surprise once they managed to break down the door.
Now hurtling through the sky as the cold wind rushed passed you, you both turned to look back at the space ship.
"We should have done something before jumping, their gonna follow us!" Neteyam shouted over to you
"Dont worry! I got that covered!" You shouted back in reply
"So what did you do?!"
Just then a loud clanging of metal rang out indicating what was previously the spaceship you both were on turning into a fiery explosion of flames.
"That works!"
"Well since i had that one covered, do you have anything that could potentially make us not break every bone in our body when we hit the water?!" You questioned as you were both still free falling
"Umm.....maybe?!"
"Maybe?! Whats maybe?!"
Suddenly Neteyam brought his fingers up to his mouth and made a high pitched sound.
"Wait for it!" He shouted
"Wait for wh-?!"
Just then something bigger than you had ever seen before jumped up from the depths of the ocean.
"What the fu-?!"
Before you could say another word, it clamped down and swallowed the both of you whole, diving straight back into the ocean where it had come from, with you both in its mouth.
~~~
The first thing you never thought you would do in your life was crawl through a vent three times, the second was getting eaten by a giant sea creature that was about ten times bigger than a whale. Oh and maybe being shot and becoming brain dead and then becoming not brain dead anymore because scientists used your body for experiments. Then being brought to an alien planet, but you were asleep for all of that so this was all definitely wierder.
What could you say? Humor was your coping mechanism, another thing you shared with Jake. And you hadnt been using it enough in this obviously stress inducing situation you were thrust into.
Having been plunged into darkness you struggled with not being able to breath and the salt water stinging your eyes. Soon enough you felt arms around you and you were pulled to the surface of the ocean, seemingly now out of the sea creatures mouth and also no longer falling to your imminent death.
You and Neteyam layed your torsos onto what seemed like a huge piece of debris to catch your breath, now feeling how tired you were as the adrenaline keeping you together left your bodies. That was until the big piece of debris started moving and making clicking sounds and you almost fell back into the ocean when you screamed in fright.
"Its okay! He's friendly!" Neteyam tried to assure you
"He just tried to eat us!"
"He was saving us, i told you i had a way to stop us falling. He's my younger brothers spirit brother, his name is Pakayan"
Pakayan blew water out of one of his many blowholes in response, sprinkling you both in a light rain as if trying to confirm he wasnt a threat.
You let out a nervous laugh "Oh righttt, nice giant whale thingy" you said patting his fin but suddenly as you looked into Pakayans eye you felt an unusually serene calmness come over you
Neteyam let out a chuckle at that "He's a Tulkun, remember i was telling you about them on the ship. About how the humans were after them"
"Oh right they wanted the stuff in their brains" you remebered that converstaion as well as many of the others
"The amrita." He confirmed for you
"Right because it stops humans from...aging..."
"Mhm"
"Hey, Neteyam..."
"Yeah?"
"How..." you stuttered "...How did the humans find out that it stops them from aging...?" You questioned suddenly keenly aware of a certain fact
And with the way the boy next to you eyes widened you knew that he had exactly the same thought pattern as you.
"You dont think..." he started
Something the humans wanted to stop them from aging and a girl whos brain dead body was used for experiments.
A girl who's body didnt age.
In all that time of course she didnt age mentally but being in a comatose state couldnt have stopped her body from aging, especially for fifteen years.
Suddenly the light hearted atmosphere from earlier, of being free from the spaceship and alive, was now replaced with a chilly reality. The sun sunk behind the clouds and the water became dark and grey and murky, dropping a couple of degrees in temperature in the process.
"Y/n-" Neteyam started but a voice in the distance cut him off before he could finish speaking.
In the wide open ocean with seemingly nothing around for miles this caught you both off guard. Hauling yourself up onto Pakayans fin with Neteyam copying your movements you readied yourself for any attack crouching down behind the rest of his body.
Although you made sure to take into consideration that someone who was a threat to the two of you wouldnt announce themselves by calling out like that.
"Hey Pakayan why did you swim off like that?" The voice echoed from not to far away now, the person seemed to be approaching rather fast
But suddenly Neteyam grabbed your arm, stopping you from readying yourself to attack any possible threat.
"What?" You whispered at him
"Its my younger brother" he said with almost a slight tone of anxiety laced in his voice
"The one whos spirit brother this is?"
"Yes"
"That makes alot of sense actually" you reckoned he was nervous to see his brother again, seeing as the last time he probably watched the life drain from his eyes.
You would be too if you ever got the chance to meet either of your brothers again, it was a normal reaction. Although you werent quite sure what to do, especially since you were a human and they were the ones who killed him. His brother might think you were holding him for ransome or something like Neteyam had told you how the humans had done so to his siblings to lure out his father.
All you could do was grab his hand in reasurance and try to pull you both into a standing position on Pakayans fin. You had to briefly hold onto Pakayans body in the process to keep your balance as his fin slightly jostled in the water. You could only hope for the best in this situation.
And when you stood up and finally saw him you also saw that he wasnt alone, there were five others with him. You assumed Neteyams brother to be the one at the front since they were the same shade of blue. He was sat on a much smaller sea creature than Pakayan and behind him a girl with more of a teal blue skin colour sat with her arms around his waist.
Two boys mirroring the girls skin colour rode on two of their own sea creatures side by side, conversing before turning their attention towards us. A girl with the same skin tone as Neteyam rode on her own as well, with a child mirroring her same shade of blue holding onto her shoulders, standing up for a better view.
Silence was all there was for a painful few seconds and you sort of hoped in that moment that the sea would open up and swallow you.
"Oh shit i think im hallucinating"
"Am i the only one seeing him"
"No i see it too"
"Well we cant all be hallucinating together"
"Maybe we got sun stroke"
"We've barely been out for half an hour"
"Maybe we're dehydrated, someone get some water"
"Are they okay?" You whispered to Neteyam
"I cant take any more of this..." he whispered back "Hey skawang~ you're not hallucinating, im really here and alive" he waved turning his attention to his brother
Once again there was silence, then all hell broke lose.
"Oh my god he talked!"
"Why is their a human next to him??"
"Speak apparition"
"He's not dead you idiot"
"How do we know for sure?"
"Somebody slap him!"
"No! No! Definitely do not slap him"
"How much longer do you think this is going to go on for?" You whispered to Neteyam once again
"I'm not sure we might be dead again by the time they stop" he replied
~~~
After everyone calmed down Neteyam got to explaining how he was alive, there were tears, there were hugs and there was you standing by yourself wondering if you would ever get to reunite with your family.
"Oh and this-" Neteyam gestured to you "-is Y/n. She's the one who saved me, i probably wouldn't have made it out of that spaceship without her"
Just then you were glad that you had taken off the lab coat you had disguised yourself in when you were in the control room, that would have been a really bad look. Now you were just left in your black top, baggy cargo pants and combat boots, albet now soaked through with salt water.
Even so you felt as if Neteyam had put you under the spotlight when all heads turned in your direction. They seemingly scaned you up and down to see if what their brother and or friend told them was true.
Neteyam continued to speak once again but for your benefit this time. "Y/n, this is my brother Lo'ak-" when he gestured to him you realised you had been right in your previous assumption.
"My two younger sisters, Kiri and Tuk-" You now remebered their names from parts of the stories he was telling you when you were both in the control room of the spaceship.
"And our friends Ao'nung, Tsireya and Rotxo" he finished
He mentioned before that Ao'nung and Tsireya were the children of his new clans leaders Tonowari and Ronal, if you remebered correctly, you should probably be extra careful around them.
"It's nice to meet you all" you greeted as non-threateningly as you could, if that was even a thing
"So you really killed another human to save my brother?" Kiri asked
"Um, yes?" You answered a little caught off guard by the question
"Well i think that says enough" she replied seemingly appeased
"If both my older brother and spirit brother trust you than I will too" Lo'ak agreed
Before long they all seemed to have come to a decision to trust you for the time being after hearing what you had to say and what Neteyam had told them. But they didnt hesitate to make sure you knew that one toe out of line, one hair out of place and they wouldnt hesitate to treat you like a normal human.
Leaving from your standing position on Pakayans back, the others returned to their sea creatures which Neteyam told you they called an ilu. After they mounted them Neteyam took placement behind the Metkayina clan leaders son but not before he guided you over to sit behind the other teal skined boy. He had previously introduced him to you as Rotxo and you quickly noticed he seemed to have a keen facination with you being a human now that you were deemed non-threatening.
However, even so, soon it became apparent that, except for Rotxo, it was alot easier for the Sullys to accept you than the Metkayina kids, this was probably because they had grown up around humans and avatars according to Neteyam.
You wondered if Tommy had ended up being able to go to Pandora if he would have been one of the avatars they grew up around, but it was a useless thought. You had a gut feeling that Tommy was dead and your gut feelings were rarely wrong.
But now with you and Neteyam having come to an unsettling previous realisation another thing became more clear to you, another feeling. That feeling of relax you had felt when you had stared into that Tulkan, Pakayans, eye. How you somehow knew that he wasnt a threat to you, how you could understand the meaning in what his eye was portraying to you.
As well as the feelings that you had been having up till now that somewhat felt out of place. How you hadnt been afraid to go to a na'vi settlement, or how even if you thought Neteyams friends and siblings might lash out at you for being a human you still werent scared of them.
Your feelings that should have been there but werent and were replaced with something else, someone elses feelings. Goosebumps laced your body, you rubbed your arms in an attempt to alleviate them but to no avail.
A sound rang out in the distance as the others laughed and joked and made coverstaion all while making their way back to the place they called home.
The sound grew louder but no body else seemed to notice.
"Does no body else hear that?" You asked
Everybody now turned their attention to you, having been the first time you spoke since splitting from Pakayan and starting the journey home. They didnt speak a word only seemingly listening intently before looks were shared among them.
"I think you might be tired after everything that happened Y/n" Neteyam tried to reason
"No, listen" you urged
They did once again, but it was the same result as the first time, nothing came of it.
"You dont hear that...?" You asked breathlessly
"Hear what?" They questioned
"..."
If one stared for too long or too closely at you in that moment, even in the light of the setting sun, they might be able to make out the slight unnatural gold colour around the rims of your irises or the tips and roots of your hair that were not there before. Only if they did they never said so, perhaps that was because the next words that fell from your mouth were enough to strip all of the thoughts from their minds.
"What is it Y/n...?" Neteyam questioned, sounding worried
"The ocean...its crying."
☆☆☆
I told you guys that the last part would be a way less bad cliff hanger and that they would only get worse from here MUAHAHAHA 👹
If you guys havent voted on my recent pole (its important to me) pls do here
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@thehoneymushroomhealer @corgicord @lovelyygirl8
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randomwriteronline · 3 months
Text
frustrated abt brain not managing to write onewa getting laid. have at ye some brainstorming on the matter. as a curse
first of all why is Onewa specifically the one getting dicked down? because i say so. i wrote him getting pampered by all his teammates once (to shut him the fuck up) and now i want them to rock his world into next tuesday. something about him compels me. his bastard charms and attitude have bewitched me. so im unleashing the rest of the turaga upon him
second. communication game? pristine. top shelf. impeccable. these six have a whole system of little nudges and hints and stuff for "id like a bit of bangin if you would be keen on indulging me" and theyre never pushing at a refusal. these messages can be relayed anywhere from two weeks to five minutes before anything is in place and if the answers a no then its thumbs up and no problem. the matoran are none the wiser. not even Matoro. my boy can know all the secrets of the toa metru and shit but hes peacefully oblivious to the mindblowing Onewa Boning thats been going on behind the entire islands back for a thousand years. as he should be.
also im a sappy shit so theyre all sweet during intercourse bc it makes me :) and also because i need that stone bastard torn asunder by tenderness
now youd think mr hordika urges Matau would jump to the sex immediately given the chance and youd be dead wrong. bc first and foremost hes a romantic. hes gonna bone him to hell and back but to do that, he has to put in The Effort. must he? not really, but he wants to and it makes him feel happy n proud of himself. so hes nestmaking a new nest every time, and each one is the best nest hes ever nestmade bc hes always improving, and hes composing a lil treespeak song songsinging his lovers praises to hushwhisper in his ear while laying down on top of him, and after the first verse hes mumbling about how the next one should be accompanied by a slowdance if you catch my drift, and Onewa is fucking slurping it all up. he loves this. he can understand maybe a quarter of the whole thing bc the pronunciation is super strict but he can hear the intention and his ego is getting stroked. why thank you yes i AM the best. keep flattering me. oh a slowdance? well dont mind if i do...
Nokama on the other hand will pull him over, feel him up very gently until hes melted into a puddle, and then nudge his face into the pillow and dick him down so good he has to fight not to start screaming bc the entire ga-koro population is ASLEEP RN and he doesnt need them to be nosy abt this. she loves how he tries to buy time and fails miserably. shes speedrunning the foreplay for fun. see how fast she can turn him into a flustered mess. her all-time record was three seconds and a half but that was bc shed sent him a letter detailing how she was going to wreck him half a day in advance and when they actually got alone time he was still going insane about it so it doesnt really count even tho she insists it does
now you know hate-sex. ok. imagine that concept but less intense. like annoyance-sex. or mild inconvenience-sex. or "aw fuck, i cant believe youve done this"-sex. or that glare that you get after you say a stupid pun-sex. thats what Nuju and Onewa have. they NEED to do some light arguing before it bc thats half the fun!! usually Onewa bothers Nuju with something small and silly and Nuju then stands up and paces around very slightly angry for a moment or two before smoothly sliding back to him and pinning him somewhere he can bend over on. Onewa fakes the weakest struggle possible and tells him he sucks at a host bc he doesnt even take him somewhere comfortable for this smh, and then as soon as he gets very gently pushed forward he splays himself down all wiggly with excitement. its very cute and also satisfying to see the resident contrarian like that. plus Nuju knows this low quiet coo that makes Onewa shiver really hard bc he likes it a lot and you KNOW hes teasing the hell out of him with it. theyre playing :)
and he also sort of plays with Whenua but in that case its more like they affectionately insult and tease one another the whole time. Whenua will sit him on his lap with some excuse like teaching him how to deal with an earthquake or smth and go at it and then Onewa will say "is that the best youve got?" with a shiteating grin and hell laugh like fuck off you pillow princess i dont see you doing much, and they go back and forth like that until Onewa starts struggling to think straight, at which point Whenua will tease him mercilessly until the other is just straight up incoherent and its time to ease him down a little more gently before his brain explodes. and then once theyre all good n resting he jokes that his stamina sucks and Onewa goes how DARE you and they have sleepy aftercare banter until one of them starts snoring
Vakama is the only one who doesnt tend to dick Onewa down. thats because hes one hell of a cowboy. hell be all unassuming, invite him for tea after meeting with him, chat a while, yknow, typical turaga stuff, and then oh whoops would you look at that its gotten too late you should stay over... and when Onewa smiles and goes "ohhh you sly lil firespitting bastard you done trapped me huh?" Vakama acts all innocent and denies all accusations while also actively seducing him. master of looking like an angel going "i dont know what youre talking about" while very gently laying him down on the bed, climbing over him, and sitting right on his crotch. and Onewa just lets him bc its hot as hell when the firespitters sort of softly in charge like this. plus from his perch atop him Vakama always leans down to give him smooches on the chin while hes riding the absolute shit out of him so hard that Onewa gets genuinely winded and its the best
they sometimes all get together for this kind of thing too. I cannot describe the result bc words missing but yall can imagine it bc ive cursed you to. all you need to know is that Onewa is in the middle of it all and hes getting boned to hell and back very lovingly in a wide array of possible combinations. also his long legs are getting appreciated a lot
Onewa mightve also developed fantasies of engaging in passionate pre-toa trysts with his lads n lass back in metru nui. sneaking around. having semi public sex. he does Not talk about this bc its very confusing even for him and he might Die
and you know what the best part is? Onewa is Convinced that he likes sex for the sex, but hes wrong. he likes it for everything else
dont get me wrong he also likes the sex, its great and fun and he enjoys it, but its like a fun bonus. what he REALLY loves about it is all the work behind and after and around the actual sex part. he loves the planning and the nudges and the little silent communications, and he loves when the other turaga accept or pleasantly surprise him or when theyre the ones to ask first, and he loves the foreplay with all the teasing and bantering and touching and sweet things and getting comfy and the intimacy, and he looooooves being a lil loopy after its all over and getting to enjoy the aftercare and the snuggling and the falling asleep together and the waking up together because he fucking LOVES them and they love HIM and hes a lil starved for affection from back in po metru still
And he doesnt fucking notice bc his body goes "i want people i love to hold me" and his mind interprets it as "we're kinda sad, why dont we have sex? sex always cheers us up" and he goes Youre Right and misses the point
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