#i cant escape this stupid banana

[superbellsubways]

fuck you its peanut butter jelly time

[azumasoroshi]

minidura chapter 2 react (izaya has stopped functioning)

i already forgot what i named the last post whoops

anyway

shizuo jumpscare

as a psychology student who is also taking sociology goddamn do i love the whole community aspect of durarara and the forms. wish i could start a festival in my town just by suggesting it online somewhere. it's so cool how you have no idea of the qualifications of the people you talk to (just like on tumblr except this is all ikebukuro people. and izaya)

i wonder if izaya being the only member of the cast (afaik) to not live in ikebukuro is symbolic of how he feels has to distance himself from the chaos at least a little bit in order to not get swept up in it himself. it's like a self restraint type thing

that's probably really obvious though forgive me im still dutsing off my character analysis lack-of-skills ANYWAY

tom is such a malewife honestly

i dont think ive ever had chocolate bananas before. huh. strawberries sure bananas nah

he looks so cute in that last panel ghghghjhhrhghgghjf

i dont get to see enough of normal laid back shizuo behavior with all the shizaya art i look at lmfAOO

i swear to god if celty's in a kimono 💀 shinra is about to be the most annoying man alive

stupid puns my beloved

the way tom's eyes are drawn in that last panel reminds me of like. american cartoon but i cant put my finger on it

is it arnold from the magic school bus or is it arthur from arthur. who knows

"you absolutely cant get into a fight today" ah so the peace wont last. damn

EGGPLANTZAYA

i cant wait for izaya to show up this chapter and annoy the living hell out of shizuo

maybe i should make eggplantzaya my profile picture (i wont because im too attached to rantaro. not even him as a character just the profile picture) (also because i cant remember where i found the profile picture and im too scared to let it go)

i see that blurb with the really cute izaya picture on the left and im assuming it's just a "this is orihara izaya btw. he's really annoying and shizuo hates him for ruining his life" type thing but god i wish i could read it anyway ill take any crumbs

HERE HE COMES!!!!!!!

oh nvm he's getting shafted for now, we transition to-

WHAT DID I FUCKING TELL YOU

celty in a kimono is inevitable. you cannot escape

she is cute though <3 this might be her first festival since she's irish too damn

that just reminded me god i wish celty talked in a super thick irish accent. some people have already mentioned that but im reiterating it because maybe some abridged series will consider it

wait oh my god is this gonna be another hotpot party type "izaya organized all this because he's lonely and wants an excuse to hang out with people that tolerate him" thing. amazing wonderful i love the izaya slander going on in this manga today

and i was about to say "oh i guess that wasnt izaya's silhouette in the shizuo-tom panel" but he's holding a chocolate banana 💀rip tom's pay i guess

i can imagine how that went but i dont think ill have to imagine for much longer

oh yeah it was right in the next panel lmAO at least you got free food izaya dont complain

"he looks like he's having fun" awwwwwwwwwwwww nothing more fun than ticking off shizuo and not getting hurt in the process

just realized he has the constantly closed eyes pff gin ichimaru lookin edgy ass bitch

he opens his eyes like it's a dramatic supervillain reveal but it's really just him being lonely. thanks for always exposing him shinra mwah

WHY IS HE ACTING SO EVIL. doing the fucking arm spread like this is a bad thing what is wrong with him

i love how mikado shinra and celty are looking at each other like "this fucking guy. cant have one normal conversation"

PFFFFFFFFFFFF

i know shinra is laughing his ass off beneath those glasses rn

izaya's face is amazing actually. you know that one scene in bungou stray dogs wan where atsushi gets dazai a gift and dazai glitches out and stops processing information because he doesnt know how to handle appreciation. this is literally that scene

huh. now i understand why durarara and bsd always get recommended together

KILL HIM MIKADO!! KILL HIM WITH KINDNESS HE'S ALREADY HALFWAY TO HELL

literal proof that izaya ceases to function when someone actually likes him. idc that this isn't canon it's canon because i say so

(side note MAN did they have to give airi noticable cleavage even in her chibi form. come on. you didnt do it for celty you dont have to do it to her 😭 the amount of fanservice with her drives me nuts in the main series)

my man is BROKEN just look at him

local gay baby realizes he accidentally made everyone happy. oops

walker and erika in the background too <3 they're so cute ugh

YOU DUMBASS

i knew itd be another hotpot thing oh mygod he's so. fucking idiot you couldve just tagged along with them 😭

it's only once he imagines shizuo that he snaps too pffffffffft

also namie appearance!!!!!!! hope she appears more in future chapters

10/10 chapter would bully izaya again

oops almost missed the ending drawing!! so cuteeee <3333

[xbooklover26x]

Things about me that probably no one will ever care to know

- I love reading cos it lets me escape for a while

- I'm obsessed with the characters and they mean a lot to me cos they're a constant, they're reliable and they cant hurt me

- every night I fall asleep to scenarios i make up in my head cos I dont think I'm ever going to experience the scenarios in real life so scenarios are the best I'm gonna get

- I still love teddies and stuff cos I dont think I get enough hugs in real life, so i go to them for hugs

- I love stray kids sm bcos the way they connect with their fans sm makes me feel loved and appreciated, ik its sad

- I've always been drawn to felix bcos his soul seems so pure and hes such a beautiful person that it gives me hope for people ig

- every night I have to have at least a few hours completely alone in my room or everything can feel a bit too much

- fandoms are my safe place bcos I dont feel judged when I'm in them

- I'm a hellenic polytheist or a hellenic pagan, I havent worked that part out yet

- I feel such a huge connection and pull to the greek deities and I respect them sm

- i dont have to convince myself I believe in them like I had to with the Christian god, i truly do just believe in them

- after I got confirmed I had about a week or so where I tried so hard to be a good Christian

- I stopped following christian beliefs when I realised I didnt understand why such a benevolent god would allow so much hatred and pain on the earth

- only about 5 people know about my religion, I hate it but I'm too scared to tell people bcos I think they'll think its stupid

- I have to have music playing if I'm doing everyday tasks, it helps me focus and enjoy what in doing

- my biggest bookshelf is organised by the first letter of the last name of the author bcos it's easy for me to navigate

- I'm secretly so proud of the way my bookshelves look, I tried pretty hard to make them look nice and they bring me a lot of happiness

- last time I counted, i had 417 books, i was so proud of my collection

- I have a lot of mental health problems, but I ignore them most of the time cos my friends are more important than me

- I create a different personality for basically everyone I meet bcos it's so important to me that people like me

- I've done it so much I'm not sure what my actual personality is

- I discovered I was pansexual after I decided I enjoyed 'I Kissed A Girl' too much and did some Google quizzes during lockdown

- I hadnt heard of pansexuality before but when I looked into it the label felt so right

- I spent my 16th birthday with 2 of the most important people to me, and I loved it

- I'm scared of trying to find a fashion style to wear bcos I'm worried I'm not thin enough to make outfits look good

- I love so passionately and strongly, and I'm scared no one will return that love but I'm also kinda proud of how much I can love ig

- crying gives me a headache and itchy eyes, so when I feel like crying I watch something ik will make me laugh

- after closing night of my first (and last) school show I cried the entire night

- I make myself laugh a lot more than I probably should

- I'll go through periods of not eating fruit then one day randomly eat a banana and remember how much I like them

- I'm bad at saving money but I wanna get better

- I have a strong attachment to the show All Of Us Are Dead bcos the characters feel familiar and real

- and the cast is really pretty

- when I love something I try to force it upon my friends, usually unsuccessfully

- I think nature cam be really pretty but I'm hardly in it cos it makes my hayfever bad

- I'm learning Korean and Greek bcos I think both are such beautiful languages and I like the challenge

- the day I realised I'd matured was when I felt more drawn to characters who would be good for me in a relationship situation, rather than ones who would be kinda toxic or too difficult

- I could talk about the things I love for hours (especially stray kids right now) but I hardly ever get the chance to

- I wrote all of this to see if it would make me feel better about me to be so truthful, and ig it did a bit

[wangbotam]

if ur accepting asks rn can u explain a bit of ur cookie run trivia game? i was totally lost on a lot of questions

to be honest im not sure how to explain most of them because almost every single question can actually be easily checked through some googling, so i dont think i can go into detail on most of them, but i can provide some commentary

heres a link again if anyone wants to do the quizz, because im going to give away the answers. its just for fun so you can decide whether you think its worth spending like 20 minutes of your life playing it. anyway heres what i can say about some of the questions:

Until which update was this cookie included in the credits of CROB?

i hate this question because it proves how stupid i was. it was originally 'what is this cookies OFFICIAL name, not counting social media?' because i was under the belief that banana peel was only ever called 'ch17' and the official name 'banana cookie' only came from devsisters namedropping her on social media.

turns out im wrong and im a dumbass, she WAS already called banana cookie, but only in korean, and i didnt realise because i didnt look hard enough on her wiki page in the cookie run wiki. i am the fucking idiot of the century.

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Not counting Kakao Cookie Run, which of these games never released outside of South Korea?

looking back, i think this question may be one of the easiest. if i had the hindsight that this question is stupid as hell, id have made it centered around 'cookie run the darkest night' instead, because that was a game i only found out existed while researching to make the quizz and it gave me one of the funniest cookie run screenshots ive ever seen.

hes just standing there. menacingly.

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What Cookie was meant to be part of CR:OB's starting roster, but released years later instead?

i cant provide insight on the question itself but i can provide some trivia! according to context, since CROB (then named Cookie Run 2, which is fucking hilarious) started production around 2015, its heavily implied by dinosour was meant to be a CROB original! this is heavily supported by the fact he had a completely different design than what he ended up with, just like popcorn. as an added bonus, theres two cookies who were the inverse: meant for kakao but released for CROB instead. im not gonna say who they are, because i might make an extended version of the quizz someday, but you can find out who they are by googling.

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Which of these Cookies were leaked early into Kingdom's lifespan, but never released?

i first showed the quizz to a kakao-centric group im a part of and there were some concerns on how the question was worded, because ALL the answers in this question are cookies who were shown in early promotional material but never released (at least not yet), but orange cookie - as far as i know, from the answers i inserted - was the only one to have been at least close to completion but never released. this is the same limbo that carol and matcha found themselves for years, but unfortunately orange hasnt escaped it yet.

notably, there was a leak VERY early into kingdoms lifespan - i believe this may have been around the time of kumihos release - that showed real life photos of each cookies gacha screen, or at least mockups, and there were two very notable cookies there, orange and devil. devil ended up releasing (and i think they may be the only rare cookie added post-game launch?) but orange never did. i honestly dont know why, my first guess is that she may not fit the games aesthetic of high medieval fantasy but thats clearly not true because shining glitter exists.

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Which of these following Devsisters games have had more than one actual appearence in a Cookie Run game?

this one may also be one of the most unfair, if only because 99% of devsisters non-cookie run catalogue of games is so obscure that theres barely any footage for most of them, and i think some of them may even be lost media. get THAT! mish is probably one of the most well known, and even then ive only seen two whole videos of its gameplay in the years since ive known this game exists. i actually didnt even know 'pandadogs pizza' was a game that existed until i started researching for this quizz! the answer is still available on the internet though as obscure as it is so im confident that its still relatively fair, compared to...

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Finally: Which of these costumes leaked YEARS before their actual release?

this is my favorite question. im like, 99% sure its almost completely impossible to find any proof of this, and i almost considered not including it for this very reason, but its one of my favorite facts about cookie run because it makes me feel like im part of a Cool Kids Club for knowing about it. some of you may hate me for it, but i fucking love it. anyway, for context:

back in late 2020, shortly before we had any info on the first TBD update, i was in a server that had a super secret leaks channel, and the first leak ever posted when i joined that server was this TBD leak. it was very low quality photos (just like oranges leak), but like, even more low quality. i can vividly remember:

1 - croissant cookies ability sprite, which most of us thought was actually a pilot costume

2 - some of timekeepers sprites, probably their talksprites, alongside rogueforts costume, which made us assume timekeeper was actually a super epic/legendary costume concept for roguefort (this was before we knew legendary costumes were exclusively for legendary cookies in CROB)

3 - everyone assuming the island of memories was getting an update for some fucking reason

4 - and finally, cherrys TBD costume alongside one of zombies costumes (though i dont remember which). i remember thinking it was super weird that cherrys costume was nowhere to be found when the update finally released, and turns out devsis just put it in the backburner for the time being. why? nobody knows! this is also why i put zombie in as one of the answers.

anyway yeah this question is completely unfair and im aware of it. ive since had a falling out with the owner of the server that had these leaks so unfortunately i cant show proof of their existence, but trust me, theyre real. cookie run leaks were a lot less prevalent (at least compared to how common they are nowadays) back then, especially because cookie run was still super niche in 2020, so i assume these leaks didnt spread very far.

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finally, a question i wanted to add but didnt was about 'which cookie got nerfed mere hours/minutes after their release?'. its related to a weird memory i have of opening up the tumblr app before school started to see people in the cookie run tag talking about how op lemon was and how he got nerfed shortly after he released because he was just that op. to give credence to my memory, yeah, he was super busted back then - he kind of scored like nobody had ever seen up til that point in CROB, at least until lime stole the title of most OP release from him (this was before we knew how bad cookie runs score inflations would get).

but i couldnt find any proof that this was real? like, im sure it was, i even told one of my classmates about it because it was so absurd to me, but when i started research for the quizz i couldnt find people talking about it. admittedly its AWFUL to look up anything cookie run related nowadays, even if you filter your search, because its all gonna be about modern CROB and CRK and you cant escape from it. but this made me question whether my memory is right or not! i know for a fact the cherry question is 100% real, but lemon.... that was in 2018 and my memory sucks, so i didnt include it. can anyone confirm whether my memory is real or fake? greatly appreciated.

anyway that turned out longer than i anticipated, but it was fun. i love sharing weird obscure tidbits about cookie run, especially because it seems nowadays the fandom isnt very interested in it. maybe someday ill make an Obscure Cookie Run Facts 2 or whatever, but i think for now this quizz is pretty hard enough as is.

[gale-gentlepenguin]

Gale Reviews: ML Season 4 Episode 8 Queen Banana

(Spoilers below)

-Marinette is costume designer for this independent movie the class is helping put on.

-So from what I got Shameless Self-insert, I MEAN Respected former student now famous director Thomas Astruc. is helping make this movie. And it gets to be in theaters... for some reason.

-The Mayor really went from hiding himself to being blatant about it

-Also Bob Roth and Gabriel are involved? Okay but WHY?

-Chloé is salty she isn't the star, and also Sabrina is feeding her bananas (so this is why the bananas were related)

-And Chloé ruins another scene the class performs. Chloé believes the city's money is her money. Thomas Really going for Chloé being an irredeemable brat to the point that it makes it REALLY funny instead of awful

-OH! I just realized it. Thomas Astruc being there is the biggest and most blatant way to say. "CHLOE YOU HAVE BEEN REPLACED."

-The art teacher has a name, and actually makes a point. HE QUOTED HER! Thats hilarious.

-And then points out she was actually WORSE! I CANT

-Chloé's CHAIR REVEAL! I LIVE FOR IT!

-And Andre is scared of his daughter. BECAUSE of course she is

-Bob Roth... truly a beacon of integrity

-Well they shooting and Marinette is snarky to Chloé. Who deserves it.

-Sabrina's sole purpose in this episode is... Banana

-Marinette is so Sassy in this. Like I am all for Sassynette, but something seems off. Not that its bad, but I am trying to figure out why this feels so... personal.

-OMG I just got this. This episode is Thomas COMPLAINING ABOUT JEREMY'S EXECUTIVE MEDDLING! I knew this felt Like Animaestro for some reason.

-Thomas aint being subtle. Chloé is Zag in this. Like just wow.

-Queen Banana was her attempt to hide a blatant Queen bee reference.

-Second script rewrite and now EVERYONE feels done with it. So my question is... How do they escape this UN-APEELING situation?

-I Like the design of Chloé's Queen banana.

-SHE HAS A CAR NOW!

-AND SCRIPT CHANGE NUMBER THREE

-Adrien is now in a cage.... Okay... I wasn't expecting that. adrinette is cute tho.

-A CAGE BEING CARRIED BY A HELICOPTER?! Is it wrong that I would totally watch Chloé's movie.

-SON OF A B****. THIS EPISODE IS ALSO A CRITIQUE ON JEREMY ZAG MAKING THE MIRACULOUS MOVIE. MOTHER F***ER WE HIT 3 LEVELS OF META

-Honestly Chloé's demands sound dumb but also like the movie would be REALLY popular in America.

-Nino my son, I feel your pain.

-AND CHLOÉ LEFT BECAUSE SHE WASNT SATISFIED.

-I love that Kim tries to make it work.

-Okay so my bet is they try to film the movie without her there.

-I was right.

-And predictably she goes to the theater to see that the movie was filmed without her, cue outrage, cue blah blah blah

-Im watching the movie they filmed... I am disappointed by the lack of Dynamite throwing gorillas. (some of the special effects were cool.) It was meh, Id probably skip this movie.

-Gabriel... ACTUALLY DOING SOMETHING GOOD?! IN MY SHOW? Oh wait, he is going to akumatize Chloé so meh. I will say it cancels out.

-I was caught in the euphoria of Gabriel sounding reasonable that I forgot for a moment he is a piece of s***

-Shadowmoth's transformation looks stupid

-Adrien my boy. I AM PROUD OF YOU. I RESPECT AND LOVE YOU. YOU STOOD UP FOR YOUR OTHER FRIENDS. YOU TOLD CHLOÉ OFF. THAT IS MY SON!

-Shadowmoth saying Queen banana made me giggle.

-Chloé knows the drill. Just give her the monkey and she is ready

-She just turned that man into a banana... I can't.

-Ladybug and Chat noir enter stage left.

-You know they didn't show Chat noir transform. (Gale will remember that.)

-Ladybug just spun and Caught chat noir. Ladynoir points

-THE LUCKY CHARM ALMOST SQUASHED HER!

-Zoé stood up to Queen banana, and thats why Ladybug found out what she needed. Horray.

-Cue Iconic Akira pose on motorbike.

-Look Ladybug you can't blame chat noir on that one. Queen banana's care just up and moved. Not his fault he made the ape go... BANANAS

-ZOÉ LEE name confirmed.

-Zoé's transformation is ADORABLE! I LOVE IT

-Welp, Thats gonna leave a mark.

-Vesperia poses. I kind of see the chat noir parallels.

-Mistranslation. Plagg said Queen bee not Ladybug.

-Side note. Doesn't it seem kind of dumb that Cataclysm makes the sentimonsters go haywire instead of destroying them? There is already a Kwami that makes things go haywire. Its Xuupa.

-Chat noir got the car this time. Good. If he missed again, I would assume they really were giving him the shaft.

-Vesperia REALLY taunting Chloé. I love it.

-Ladybug and Chat noir really bullied Queen banana after that. LOL

-OOOH Ladybug made her a charm

-Chloé rejected it and Shadowmoth be like (oh it aint over yet.) What he doing.

-So Zoé stood up to Chloé and OMG SHE TRICKED HER INTO TAKING THE CHARM!

-ZOE YOU BRILLAINT! JUST IN TIME. SHADOWMOTH GOT BLOCKED!

- ADRIEN! TIKKI IS RIGHT ON MARINETTE'S SHOULDER! LOOK LEFT.

____________________________________________________________

Okay this episode was funny.

I would say this was Animaestro done... better.

I found it a bit on the nose with its criticism but at least didn't rub one's nose in it too much. But Once I saw what it was doing, I couldn't unsee it.

Well It isn't a bad episode at all. It has a lot of good moments.

Zoé is a a good character and I did enjoy Vesperia.

I like how we got to see how the charm works, thats cool.

overall

Objectively I would put it.

7.5/10

Though personally I put it more 6.5/10

There is an art to being subtle and this was a subtle as a gorrilla throwing banana explosives. Also there was no Banana noir and that in itself is a crime. No Mr. Banana. No stay peachy. Its a crime!

[miss--aura]

Saw your requests were open! I too love Fatgum so maybe an +18 plus scenario with some angst? Like maybe you were good friends but now both are stuck in limbo after sleeping with each other one night. Confused about what they are. Sorry if I'm not making sense.

Stuck In between

Pairing: Taishiro Toyomitsu x Reader

Warnings: angst, bad smut because I had a headache while writing the ending, idk what to put for warnings, banana milk sucks

Requested by: ness-is-a-vanillabean

On a serious note I decided I don't know how to wrote angst or if this counts as angst lmao.

It was a spur of the moment decision, at least that's what you kept telling yourself. You were drunk, and let your lust get the better of you and now you didn't know what to do.

You shouldn't have let Midnight convince you to go, you shouldn't have taken the wine glass offered to you. It was all just some big mistake that you made, and it landed you where you are now.

You haven't left your house in a week and you certainly havent been checking any messages on your phone. Luckily you could work from home, but you couldnt hide forever.

"God, I'm so stupid!" Slamming your head on your desk with a groan, tears forming in your eyes as you choke out a sob.

No matter how hard you tried it kept replaying in your head. The way his eyes seemed to drink you up, his hands caressing every inch of your body, the way he filled you up hitting the spots that made you forget your name.

Part of you didn't regret it at all, getting out all of the lust filled emotions was such a nice release to something you've been holding onto for god knows how long.

Yet, you couldnt look back on the memory in a fond light. Because in the end, you said I love you. You said I love you to your bestfriend, and now you couldn't even talk to him.

He'd called you at least 15 times a day since then, over 200 messages being left unread. You just had to go and be selfish, didn't you? Ruin the one good thing you had in your life.

You wondered how he was doing, not that you'd ask. But at the same time, you were his bestfriend and you confessed your love to him in a drunken haze and haven't spoken to him since.

All the ways you could've confessed, you had to go and do it when you were drunk out of your mind and being pounded into a mattress. Going back to work at the agency would be a nightmare now.

One week left until you actually had to go back to the agency. Meaning one week to figure out how to avoid Taishiro for the rest of your life. Did you want to avoid him? No, but you'd rather avoid him than own up to your own emotions.

Picking your head up off the desk you decide to actually do something productive for once. You needed groceries anyways and right now was the perfect time to do so, considering Taishiro would be patrolling the other side of town.

You quickly freshen up and head out the door, the grocery store being only a few blocks away so you could manage walking there and back.

It was a short walk, being about 15 minutes give or take a few. Now that you were scanning shelves you realized how long it had really been since you've seen, well, another human.

It almost made you laugh, how seeing really people made you feel better about the situation your in. Sucking in your cheeks you put a small case of banana milk into your cart.

Taishiro didn't really care for it, but it was almost a comfort item for you. He always said it just tasted like a banana, and it'd cost less to buy regular bananas instead. Though you'd disagree everytime he brought it up.

Sure, it tasted like bananas, but it is banana milk so whatever. Plus it came in cute boxes with a straw and who were you to deny something that looked so cute.

Making it to checkout, you place your items on the counter. Allowing the cashier to do their job while you let your eyes wander around the store.

It wasn't big, but it had a comforting feel. Maybe it was because you'd been feeling down, or maybe it was the way you'd been here so many times that the familiarity was comforting to you.

Never the less you give a small smile to the cashier, finishing the rest of your items as you pay. Fishing the bags into your arms as you start the short journey back to your home.

"Need help carrying those bags?" The voice made you freeze in place. There was no way this was happening, he wasn't supposed to be here. He was on duty, right?

"Listen we need to talk, you can't keep ignoring me."

"I don't wanna talk right now, aren't you on duty anyway? I have to go put these away." You start walking off, hurrying to get away.

"I'm a hero, I help people in need. You aren't feeling like yourself which means it's my place to help. Is it not?"

"I said I don't want to talk, I said something I didn't mean, and I have to face the consequences for that. Okay?"

"So you don't love me?" You swear you could hear the hurt in his voice, but you told yourself you were hearing things. You can't ruin this anymore than you already have.

You can't bring yourself to respond, quickening your pace as your eyes fill with tears. Trying to blink them away only causing them to slide down your face. Not that you bother to wipe them because you know Taishiro is still watching you walk away.

He doesn't like you like that, he's a pro hero, you're just an office lady. That's what you have to remember. Whatever you thought you had, was just you trying to convince yourself that something could happen.

It didn't matter if you wanted to run into his arms, nothing would change. You'd be the hopeless romantic who had feelings for a hero who didn't have time to waste on a relationship.

"Y/n wait! Stop walking so fast I can't keep up!" Taishiro's voiced filled through your ears, your heart melting at the sound. But for once, your head was in control. Head over heart, that's what your mom always said.

"Go away 'shiro." It came out more broken than you wanted it to and you knew he could see right through you as much as you wanted to hide away from your feelings your feet plant themselves no longer letting you move further.

Two arms wrapping around your waist in the tightest hug you've ever experienced. Stealing the air from your lungs as a small whine of pain escapes your lips.

"Y/n, listen to me. You can't keep avoiding me. I've been worried sick about you, can't you tell? I thought I was dreaming when you told me you loved me but just as soon as that happened you dissapeared. Please Y/n talk to me."

You shook your head more tears streaming down your cheeks as you tried to speak without sounding like you were dying. Though it felt like you were.

"You don't love me 'shiro, I gotta get over you but whenever you're near me it makes it so hard. No matter how hard I try I keep falling harder."

"Who said I don't love you? Angelcake, you never asked me if I loved you. Look at you, what is there not to love about you? When you said you loved me I'd never been more happy in my entire life. So please, stop running away from me, I hate not being with you."

"'shiro..."

"Shh, let's get you home, I wanna show you how much I love you."

Arriving at your house, you force the key into the door as quick as you can manage. Taishiro taking notice to how desperate you were to enter.

Pushing the door open you realize how messy your house was, an awkward smile spreading across your face as you let him in. "Please excuse the mess, it's not usually like this I've just been having a hard time recently."

"As if it's any worse than mine, besides I'm not here to judge you." He grins placing his hand in yours and leading you to your bedroom. Seeing as he'd been here enough to know the lay out of your house.

Just as soon as you were in your room, he was all over you. Kissing you with so much passion you thought you were dreaming by the way he seemed to be bleeding out lust.

Taishiro opted to use his normal form in moments like this, his fat body not working when it came to the more intimate moments. Not that you loved him any less in any form.

You whine into the kiss, your body on fire from the arousal building up within you. Clawing at your close to get them off, desperate to have Taishiro's hands be on your bare skin.

"Someones needy, aren't they?"

"'shiro, please I want you. I've been waiting for this."

He hums, giving you a small nod as his hands sneak up your shirt. Helping you strip out of your clothes before falling suite with his own.

His hands grope your breasts squeezing lightly to get a reaction out of you. Which you give through a small moan. The noise is just enough to get him going though.

Spreading your legs and holding them open with his knees he slides his fingers over your folds, getting a grasp for how wet you were for him.

The more he teased the more you squirmed under him, small begs passing through your lips. Begging for him to hurry up.

"Taishiro, please stop teasing me I cant wait anymore~"

He only smiles in response, placing his cock at your entrance. Having done this just a week ago he was more than ready to plunge into the depth. Slowly thrusting into you allowing you to adjust.

You whine out his name, back slightly arching off the bed in ecstasy. Clenching around him your eyes clouded with list at the sensual yet familiar feeling of him filling you up.

He thrusts harder, finding a sweet rhythmatic pace that made the both of you feel good. Not too fast, but not too slow either. The perfect momentum between the two of you.

Leaning down to kiss you, he finds himself smiling like a little kid, happier than ever to be with you in this moment.

"'m close baby, where do you want my cum?"

"Anywhere, I dont care."

Satisfied with that response he thrusts into you a few more times before pulling out and letting his cum cover your lower abdomen.

"I told you I loved you babe, is that enough to prove it?"

"More than I could have ever asked for."

[rcl-stan]

yall know ive got a bone to pick with this perseus guy hear me out

this dude escapes death like its his favorite hobby. this dude could probably outrun la chancla. there is absolutely no way he should still be alive and we all know that

but what if he just died a pathetic death. not just pathetic, but plain stupid. like, death by peanut allergy or smth. or maybe he forgot he shouldnt use a big ass bread knife to get your toast out of the toaster

bc at this point i feel like thats the only thing thatll take him. he’s near immortal at this point. this dude has been three feet under his whole life and hes not gonna have a dude bro meet up with jason any time soon. a monster cant take him. but a slip on a banana peel could probably do the job

[bxttxrflybxddie]

hmm can I order agent zari x reader hcs pwease 🥺

omg ofc i luv her

Agent Zari Dating Hcs

i feel like she isnt a natural bleach blonde

so she does that and has you help her

you dont have a choice

you know her secret now

"no the toner goes in AFTER."

"yes I need to wash it out first, hun"

oh btw ur the only person shes soft around

the only person she doesnt have to be a robot around

takes her work very serious so she rarely talks about it

rarely isnt never though

after a long day she'll come home to find you and just

collapses

on top

"a banana. she wants to partner up with a man who dressed up at a banana."

but just take her hair out of its bun and scratch her scalp

she'll melt

if zaris soft around you she expects you to be soft too

like not a push over

but tender

its really selfish for her but she cant deny that youre her escape

her home

from ther terrible world outside

this beautiful woman likes corny jokes

straight out of pun books

theyre too stupid to not give a chuckle to

zari likes dates at movies

she perfers comedies because theyre either so bad you can laugh at or good you laugh

and she has like one of those goose laughs

ykno?

so she has to bite her knuckle to keep quiet

theres a little tear in her eye and everything

shes so cute

she also likes to cook!!

she travels a lot so she likes to try dishes from all over the world

some come out better than others but thats okay

she tries

and besides if its terrible you both order pizza and cuddle

((she smells like coffee on a sunny saturday morning btw))

she sits up right while you lay on her thighs

you take in a deep breath and sigh

and she leans allllllll the way down

and kisses your forehead

and only then you realize you can stay like that forever

[intoklaus]

Family Bonding | Klaus

Plot: You find Klaus dumpster diving and decide to talk to him. He says that he wants to spend time with you.

Notes: Sibling relationship. Gender neutral reader. Warnings: Mention of drugs, swearing.

Words: 1127

Requested: No

     You could faintly hear the distant sound of rummaging and the harsh whispers of someone who sounded like they were arguing although no response could be heard. You eagerly peered from your bedroom to see what adventure Klaus had gotten himself into. Of course you knew it was Klaus, what other person would it be?

His dirty brown curls draped over his forehead as he was hunched over in a dumpster, ripping open black bags which overflowed with foul smelling garbage that you could get faint wafts yourself despite being quite a distance. As he was manoeuvring and wading through the trash, he managed to smack his head on he metal frame of the dumpster which was quickly followed by a sharp yelp before he clasped his forehead with his filthy hands.

You couldn't help but giggle at your helpless brother up to his usual shenanigans. It was almost as if his ears pricked and his head shot up to see where the laugher was coming from. His expression was harsh and angry until his soft green eyes wandered upon your face which then allowed a smile to immediately fall onto his lips. "Y/N!" He exclaimed flamboyantly, throwing his fur scarf over his shoulder simultaneously, fixing it back into place.

"What are you up to now?" You inquisitively asked, staring at him intently as he clambered out the trash and stood back so he could get a better view of you. Shaking off a banana peel that was stuck to his shoe as he did so.

"Well, the past is the past. It doesn't really matter anymore. Are you busy? I'm really bored and well," he huffed, pouting, "Five left and didn't want to talk to me so now I'm all alone." He put on a very sarcastic sad tone as he frowned up at you.

You watched as his head twitched and he muttered a few things to an invisible being next to him.

"What's Ben saying?" Your interest piqued at what witty comeback or snarky comment Ben stated which caused Klaus' eyebrows to become furrowed and for him to become visibly irritated.

"Nothing for you to be concerned about." He smiled, his head lolling freely as he stood in the harsh wind.

"Well, I guess we could do something. Only if you're not high and you have to promise me you're not." You shouted down at him, leaning further out the window showing him your pinky finger. As a response he raised his up in the air and nodded. "They're slowly wearing off. I haven't taken anything for a few hours." He smiled at you hesitantly which caused you to roll your eyes. You reached to close the window before he stopped you.

"Wait!" He practically screamed, causing a flock of pigeons on a nearby rooftop to scatter off, the sound of their wings flapping were almost muted by his volume.

"I promise I won't take anymore, okay?" He stared up at you waiting for your approval with an expression you couldn't quite work out but his tone was filled with so much sincerity. He held up his pinky finger again, wiggling it as he impatiently awaited your response.

"Fine. Give me all of your pills when you get up here or you can go back to dumpster diving. Or whatever it is you were doing." You stated firmly, only looking out for his best interest.

He seemed conflicted, he cringed at the final part of your speech knowing it is something that would be difficult for him to do. His bottom lip became trapped beneath his teeth as he stood and pondered for a moment or two with his hands on his hips before he heavily exhaled.

"Okay, I'll be up in a moment!" He smiled happily, skipping over to the metal ladder that led to the fire escape of the building. He purposely made sure to stamp in all of the small puddles on his way over.

———

You lay on your bed watching Klaus sat at your desk intricately painting his nails black as music on your record player softly played in the background. You watched him intently as he made sure not get any polish on his skin or anywhere else for that matter but his shaky hands due to withdrawal didn't help at all.

He cursed and exhaled, frustrated at himself. He spun his head and helplessly looked at you with a pleading look in his eyes. "Y/N can you paint them for me?"

You softly nodded, putting the small plastic bag full of pills in your back pocket which were just securely in your hands. You tapped the empty space in front of you on your mattress as you sat cross—legged.

He shakily handed you the nail polish and sat opposite you with his knees pressed up against his chest and his head resting on them. He reached one of his arms out which you grabbed to steady them.

His curly tendrils were beginning to become glued to his forehead as the beads of sweat began to form. He looked pained and terrified as you noticed his gaze was looking right through you and he was staring into space. He was going through this because he wanted to spend time with you.

"I'm proud of you Klaus." You softly spoke, not expecting him to say much as he didn't really know how to respond to compliments as he rarely heard them. Especially when they're targeted towards him. He blinked softly and he looked at you, silent.

"I'm glad I have you in my life. But you won't be for much longer if you continue taking those stupid pills." Your voice remained calm as you only wanted him to understand and he wouldn't want to listen if you started shouting.

"I cant force you to. But I can be here to support you when you're becoming sober."

Just as you expected, he didn't response but the fact this his eyes were beginning to well with tears signified that he understood what you were saying and would maybe take it into consideration.

You both stayed silent as music continued to play in the background and you finished painting Klaus' nails. He smiled down at them proudly and thanked you before he leaped off the bed and started prancing around the room before looking and posing in your full length mirror.

Coincidentally, as the record came to a halt as it finished, the front door to the house slammed shut and you heard the commotion and shouting from your other siblings.

Klaus huffed and stretched his arms over his head already tired of the argument that was happening downstairs.

"Well, lets go and see what this shit storm is about."

[umbillicalnoose]

i think that you would think im pretty and would like my poetry and i want to share it with you. im shy.

to be honest, im very apathetic these days. im not the nice “cutesy baby flower petal boy” i used to be. a lot has happened & im bitter & sullen & all in all, a pretty shitty friend/person to know. i used to possess some redeeming qualities, believe it or not, even if they were construed by the subconscious in an attempt to be likeable - a facade, even tho its only a facade, is still tangible, still there, is still something, even if not authentic. is poorer character forgivable in the name of presenting more authentically? but nah. that makes it sound like im putting effort into being a better person, which im not. im just sort of fried & done. its been a very long time since i played the role i built for myself on here of the “small fawn boy who wants to help girls” lmaooo. how embarrassing. altho, i was just a kid, & i guess, if you had a tumblr as a teenager, you went thru some cringe (i know the use of that word has fallen in on itself & adopted its own definition but for lack of a better one) ass phases, whether it was kinning or malingering mental illness or oh fucking christ, all that gender bullshit, etc etc. from what ive observed, tho, loosely following kids im still casually friends with that i met on here, i think we’ve all managed to Grow The Fuck Up, at least a little. most of us have jobs or r in school or have partners - growing up & moving on is a very surreal experience to watch/go thru. im moving at my own pace & ive accepted that - im still currently using & starving myself & concocting a suicide plan every day but at least i use clean needles as much as possible, i actively & honestly do strive for the bare minimum calorically, & um able to work with the mentality of “well ill have this when i need it but todays not that day” a lot more readily, in relation to suicide shit. ive finally found a therapist who Really Gets It, is a frontrunner internationally on ritual & extreme abuse & mind control. its pretty incredible what a few years with a good therapist can do. anyways. im sorry, i know you didnt ask for all this & im not even sure why i divulged. i guess, what tipped me off, was your attempt at sounsing “cute” - dude, cut that shit out, i promise youll be a lot better off. & i know everyone interchanges aspects of their personality based on who theyre talking to/who they percieve themselves to be talking to, but i feel like not a lot of people give enough credence to the internet & its hand in shaping/molding young people, kids, vulnerable dumbasses, especially tumblr (tho, i get that its a relatively new phenomenon) - u get a bunch of the “weird”, “alternative”, ““ostracized” kids together on a website, of course its gonna nurture a culture of hypervalidatoon & pretending to be sick in order to fit in to the point that its not an act anymore & exacerbation of symptoms & basically, just sucking each others dicks, sitting in ur own shit, & never ending coddling. & then, you have the older group of kids, who have played this game before but instead of helping or ignoring the Dumbshit kids, they indulge their own normally-buried-but-unleashed-by-internet-anonymity sadism/human instinct to just be fucking dicks & so now you have this vicious cycle of anger & hatred & fucking melodrama up the urethra. im sorry, i know im comig off as/am being harsh but god fuckin dammit yknow? also, this isnt directed at you, specifically, more of a generalized thing, @ myself included. so uh. i mean, if u still wanna share it with me after reading all this, id be happy to read ur poetry. i used to be over the top nice & then reverted to Major Asshole & am now trying to find that sweet middle spot - honoring & allowing myself to share my pain without putting it on others. which is really hard!! cuz becoming a Dick was difficult in that it forced me to be more honest with my true self & as such, more vulnerable - now in trying to become Kinda Nice again because despite being a pulsating scrotom, ive had the intense desire for friendship & human interaction, while simultaneously doing things that i was consciously aware was pushing others away - but then, if i pretend to be nice, where does that authenticity i worked for & was so scared of go? & i dont mean telling someone their new haircut looks nice even when it doesnt - thats just not being a dick. but i guess, those r the normal trials & tribulations of any relationship & adolescent developing identity. which is weird too - dealing with “normal” issues, i mean. whats the point if your life/limbs/breaking point arent at risk? whats the point when your best friends already dead. im sick of people calling "survivors” (despise that word, so fucking female-originated & overdramatic) “brave” & “strong” - surviving is not brave or strong. its just survival. you wouldnt call an animal brave for running for its life from a predator but you would call a dog courageous for going into a burning building to save its owner. premeditated action on the notion that you are probably going to be hurt is brave. being subjected to pain with no choice is not. theres no “silver lining” or anything “good” to be drawn from it either - sure it may have made x a more compassionate person or made y more introspective & gentle but you know what would have been even fucking better??? if the shit hadnt happened in the first place! let x be an asshole & y be self absorbed - the “benefits”, so to speak, do not outweigh the cost, not by a long fucking shot. its not only patronizing to hear garbage like that, but a slap in the face to know that anyone could possibly see anything good coming from that nightmare & that the characteristics, good or bad, you developed either in response to or as a result of, are worth praise. dont tell me im strong for doing what i had to to escape a torture chamber - tell me im perseverant for studying my ass off & passing that test last week. in the words of one of my dearest & most fucking brilliant friends, “pain doesnt owe me/you purpose - the need to intellectualize & assign meaning to pain & death is not only futile, but harmful.” & honestly, i think that it stems from weakness (in most cases - i realize theres a plethora of other reasons such as those who r just desperate for something to hold on to or r hyperintellectual & analytical or who have been pressured by external “support” systems to find the “good” etc etc) - while the majority of people view the person who “can find the good in everything” (strictly speaking only in relation to trauma/tragedy here & more in denunciation of those that celebrate this trait as opposed to vilifying “survivors” who respond this way, though in my experience, its very very very rarely the “survivor” that perpetrates this ideology ) as strong, i sort of see it as a weakness - their inability to sit with & absorb their own pain or that of others is so strong that not only do they have to frantically pull rainbows out of the teeth of a meat cleaver, they also have to exist within this strange (tho, not malicious - more subconscious) superiority complex. like, nah, dude, some times shit is just awful. you cant tell me anything fucking good came out of a four year old girl being kidnapped, gangraped, & tortured for two years, before being impaled & left to die on a stake. her mom opened a non profit organization? oh well thank fucking god for that!!! those that believe the latter to be more “enlightened” or whatever the fuck r the same people who say shit like “dying is easy - living is harder” & i get that that its supposed to be interpreted metaphorically for the most part - giving up is easy, trying isnt (which also.....isnt true??? admitting defeat & fully accepting the fact that ur fucking helpless is beyond hard lmao???) - but pretend youre somewhere, anywhere outside ur sunny little fucking yoga studio full of white women whos biggest issues r the pta & johnny whos failing math, & lets say your life is in real, imminent danger, a gun is to your head & i want you to not scream or cry or beg for ur life since dying is “easier”. if dying is so easy, why do the majority of ppl cling to it with such desperation - why is suicide illegal? why do some ppl go thru 100s of chemo treatments even tho the doctors say theyre just prolonging the inevitable, ppl who cut off a diseased arm so it wont spread, those who walk dozens of miles every day for food & water, etc? & i know & understand the survival instinct better than anyone, even when i wanted to die more than anything, my natural instincts would kick in with no conscious neural input & id do what i had to do. im not condemning those who cling to life (ok - a little. ur wasting resources out of ur own fear. but i also realize thats just me being a Fucking Asshole As Always cuz technically, im doing the same thing tho its more due to lack of opportunity rather than fear. i just think, societally, death should be more normalized, discussed, & not made out to be so unknown & scary), instead just reprimanding those who say shit like that (inspirational facebook quotes). especially cuz most of the ppl who do spew that shit have never gone thru anything even remotely difficult - their worst nightmare is a Big Scary Black Man grabbing them on the street, mugging them, & touching their tits. & i also know that these stupid ass sayings are to be applied to bullshit like exercise & fitness (“no pain no gain” is another one of my Favorites) & not fucking torture or even just ur run of the mill rape, even that would probably smash the rose tinted banana republic shades off their beverly hills tanned faces. but ive heard the no pain no gain one a handful of times in the last few weeks, specifically from doctors performing procedures in preparation for my bottom surgery. & i know its supposed to be encouraging & they have no way of knowing, but its just like, buddy, u have no idea who youre fucking talking to. & im starting to understand what THEY mean when they say it - pain with a reward is infinitely more tolerable than pain just for the sake of pain; like, a tattoo, it hurts, but u know, when its done, its gonna be sick as fuck. when u r able to fall back on the idea that its for something u rlly want, its A Lot easier to handle as opposed to pain thats Just Pain - theres no reward for it except, i guess, that the more u experience it, the closer u r to the end of it lmao. i mean, i still hate when ppl say it cuz for most of my life, pain was just pain, & the “reward” was the opportunity to go home at the end & so whenever ppl say that, my mind just immediately resorts back to that & im just like haha fuck u. but im trying to remember my experiences r definitely not universal & im starting to sorta understand what they mean i think. but, flipping gears here, & going back to the sentiment of “everything happens for a reason”, the base philosophy of psuedo deep Fuckwads - a girls dad didnt fuck her “for a reason”, everything doesnt happen “for a reason”. like ok, hypothetically, the kid he impregnated her with & that she was forced to have at 12 may surpass all odds & not become a homeless junkie & instead become a world renowned doctor who finds the cure for cancer. but she wasnt raped repeatedly from the age of six for that “reason”, no matter what anyone says & honestly, the liberation of the masses does not justify the suffering of one, especially a child. in my eyes at least. but again, im a bitter asshole. sorry i just Went The Fuck Off here oh my god.....if u read all this, thanks, pal. if not, thats cool too. but yea, send me ur stuff, id totally be down to read it. as for me potentially thinking ur cute, i have to look at my disgusting shitstain of a “face” every goddamn day so everyone else to me is fuckin aphrodite. but im also tryin to not put so much worth into physical appearance- its not something that should be complimented cuz its just smth a person was born with which is the same reason it shouldnt be insulted. this is gonna sound gay & stupid but i personally find that a persons essence & personality really permeates. you can meet someone who, objectively, isnt all that great looking, but once u get to know them, u really see their beauty - how the sun catches in their hair, their dilated pupils looking up at u from under long eyelashes in the dark, the birthmark on their right shoulder that they despise but that is so Them, the gap in their teeth, etc. & idk how to phrase this without it sounding like “well ur ugly but at least ur a good person”, cuz that only reiterates the societally indoctrinated emphasis on appearance & my kneejerk reaction to assure the person in question that thats not what im saying is only another result of that!!! its inescapable!!! but no, really, its not just a matter of “its on the inside that counts” - physically, they change or maybe, actually this is more likely, when i first meet them, my “default” eyes r just looking for features that i know im immediately attracted to (tall, blonde, sickly as in sunken eyes sticklike pale but still looks like she could & will beat the shit out of me) but as i fall in love or get to know them better, my eyes adjust & i notice & adore the beauty that was there all along. so uh. idk if ill think ur “cute”. but probably, yes, ill think ur an angel.

[beesmygod]

this is what riverdale is about (part 6)

part 1

part 2

part 3

part 4

part 5

and now...we come to the end of our journey...the final 4 episodes of the season. who killed jason blossom? you forgot that’s what we were doing, huh. you  were way too distracted by sex archie and the jughead/betty relationship (called ‘bughead’ in universe). 

i have a friend who has been watching riverdale because i have basically tricked him into doing so and frankly, what i am typing here was and is only the surface of this show’s nonsense. as he watched episodes, he reminds me of all the completely bananas shit that this show throws at you literally every second it is on screen and honestly its a relief to know that, as much as i can try to just give you some basic facts, watching the show itself is still a totally different transcendent experience. its really the only show of its kind; shamelessly stupid but unaware of it while openly delighting in all the silliest cliches presented as straight faced as possible. if these write up do anything for you at all, please, please. watch the show. you will be shocked at how much more there is to discover.

images are from the riverdale wiki

---

SEASON 1 (PART 4): 

the lost weekend: this is the one with a very special guest star in it: molly ringwald as archie’s mom! she and fred (luke perry) have been separated for some amount of time for an unknown reason. yay she’s so cute! i love her. oh uh, also they’re getting a divorce. the papers are going through. archie gets the bad news in the middle of a gaming sesh with jughead.

meanwhile, veronica meets with her dad’s lawyer (whose name is paul sowerberry?? he never shows up again despite his unbelievably silly name) and tells him she’s not giving him a good statement as to her father’s character to help him get a lesser sentence. “fuck you dad!” is the general sentiment before she stomps out to go to school.

oh man there’s a weird aspect of this show that i have neglected to mention. this isn’t something i’ve ever experienced in school so it was totally foreign and weird to me but the students have their own lounge that they mingle and talk in...at...some point during the school day?? jughead’s opening monologue of this episode makes great pains to talk about how every moment of their lives are scheduled from 8am to 3pm but there’s apparently plenty of sittin’ time where they can just laze about this random room talking about crimes they have or are going to commit. a great deal of talking happens in this room when usually you’d have to like, sneak a convo while getting shit out of your locker between classes. i dunno, it’s weird. this is where archie tells veronica about clifford blossom sending her dad to jail so he can jack the land everyone is fighting over.

archie and betty make plans to celebrate jugheads birthday by taking him to the movies, which i feel like is in poor taste given his movie house was just destroyed but whatever. with betty coming along it’ll be just like the three muskateers! betty replies “AcTuAlLy ThErE wErE fOuR mUsKeTeErS” and somehow he doesn’t beat her to death with his bookbag right there and then. betty then doubles down on the bad words flowing out of her mouth and proposes they hold a surprise party for jughead since, according to his dad, he’s never had one. i have no idea what would compel her to think he would want this. even i know he doesn’t want this and i only know him through a tv screen. on top of this she goes out of her way to invite his deadbeat alcoholic dad multiple times. i thought she was supposed to be the smart, observant nancy drew type but like...what the fuck betty. jughead does, in fact, get pretty pissed at archie just for telling his girlfriend that he even has a birthday. presumably instead of telling him he emerged fully formed from the leader of the black parade’s forehead.

after finding out from some files that her dad was receiving money monthly from clifford blossom for some unspecified reason before the arrest, veronica challenges cheryl to a dance off and wins. unfortunately, veronica cant come forward with what she knows because it would make it look like her dad put a hit out on jason in retaliation. dance off to relieve the pain.

jughead fucking hates his party and makes sure everyone knows it. this is something NORMAL people do and he is NOT normal!!! he leaves the party in a huff when cheryl shows up to get her dance off revenge by ruining the party by inviting the whole school. this is the episode where he does his famous “im a weirdo, i have a hat” speech, which is deliciously dumb. they get in a fight, while jughead’s dad talks to kevin’s boyfriend (who you will remember is a member of his gang he assigned to keep tabs on the progress of the teens looking into the whole land plot mess) while betty’s mom secretly listens in?!

cheryl activates chaos mode and locks everyone in the house so they can play a game called “secrets and sins” which is really just an excuse for her to ask everyone horrible questions to make them feel bad. veronica accuses cheryl of fucking her brother, dilton doiley tells everyone about grundy’s statutory rape of archie andrews and chuck tells everyone about dark mode betty drugging him for an impromptu bdsm session which causes jughead to go apeshit and try to throw a weak little baby punch. jughead’s dad, as the only adult who for some reason let all this happen, finally throws everyone out and tells them to go home.

archie and veronica sleep together, by which i mean, next to each other in the same room. veronica testifies on her father’s behalf and discloses to betty the link between jugheads dad and the serpents and her dad’s land plot dreams. molly ringwald appears for 20 seconds.

INHALES. OKAY.

to riverdale and back again: its homecoming babey! archie’s very supportive mother has a nice talk with him. :) veronica founds out that her dad only has to serve “a few more months” in prison for his various white collar crimes, further proof that riverdale takes place in america. jughead and his dad have a nice normal breakfast while fp sweats and asks him “hey uh, how come uh you’re writing about the uhhhh murder and investigating it and stuff” like a normal dad would. archie and veronica tentatively agree to start going out. 

penelopy blossom brings polly (betty’s pregnant sister, remember her? i didn’t) a strawberry milkshake in the most ominous way possible. veronica plans to sneakily find out if jughead’s dad is helping her own and for what purpose, ultimately. jughead accepts and invite to betty’s house for dinner, not knowing her mom is going to grill the shit out of him and his dad over the whole kid murder thing.

polly finds the ring jason proposed to her with back in penelope’s room while snooping, and has no idea how it wound up back in the hands of his mother. according to penelope, jason threw it in their face when he renounced his lineage, then gives her another milkshake.

the cooper family event is disrupted when betty, wise to her mother’s horseshit, invites her estranged dad to dinner too. all hell breaks loose when the subject of homecoming comes up and fp reveals that while alice and hal were crowned homecoming king and queen, they got in a knockout, drag-out fight backstage. alice flips out before he can reveal what it was about and betty and jughead flee for the dance. meanwhile archie and veronica try, and fail, to find something incriminating in fp’s trailer.

cheryl discovers the milkshakes are DRUGGED and polly is going to sleep through homecoming. she informs her parents that she has disposed of the ring (evidence) and they dont have to worry about it anymore. you can see where this is going.

jughead’s dad drops a bomb on him right before homecoming that they’re going to move to toledo to meet up with jughead’s mom and baby sister. jughead hates this bc he just got used to betty and he wants to write his murder book.

archie and veronica sing a truly terrible cover of “kids in america” that has to be seen to be believed.

meanwhile, sherrif keller tears up fp’s house with a search warrant and finds the gun that was used to kill jason blossom. WHAAAA??? BUT ARCHIE AND VERONICA JUST SEARCHED IT??? how could this happen.....jughead finds out about the web of deception weaved by the friends and tells them all to fuck off so he can go to toledo with his family. jughead literally turns around and is informed that his dad was just arrested for murder. his life is so hilariously bad.

the sheriff sucks so bad at his job because he tells his gay son everything who then spills the beans to archie and co (sans jughead) who learn that fp is being framed, because they already tossed the place before.

cheryl has the ring. at this point none of these things mean anything.

i cant believe i still have two more of these. i’m going to have to split this post after this one.

anatomy of a murder: as it turns out, archie discovers, information you discover during a breaking and entering won’t hold up in court. oops. meanwhile fp inexplicably confesses to kidnapping jason after his fake drowning at sweetwater river so he could use him as ransom after discovering he heir to all that sweet maple syrup money. according to fp, jason nearly escaped so they cut their losses and blasted a hole in him. he also confesses to torching the car and stealing the sheriff's files (which we, the audience, know hal cooper did, not fp). well. that’s that, i guess.

betty’s dad comes back to the family home to destroy the murderboard evidence all like “whoo hoo! fp took a bullet for me!” hal’s concern and his reason for stealing the files in the first place, as it turns out, was because the feud between the coopers and the blossoms is more complicated than we thought. the coopers WERE blossoms, until grand-pappy was murdered, so they packed their shit and left with a new name. so that makes polly and jason related. cool!

fp apparently used his his last phone call to call kevin’s boyfriend who, after some pressing by the gang, admits that while he didnt see fp pull the trigger, he did help him put jason’s body in a freezer. this tip leads them to the corpse of a serpent who had a sack of money in a monogrammed dufflebag with the initials “h.l.” (hiram lodge). this is a comically dumb move for a crime boss to make. it is shockingly stupid.

joaquin tells kevin about a secret stash he and fp set up before he bounces from town forever because riverdale sucks. in the stash is jason’s jacket. everyone puzzles over what it means until betty, noted brain genius checks the pockets. in it they find a usb drive.

they sit down and watch the usb and react like they’re watching a sad documentary and not a snuff film. betty calls CHERYL OF ALL PEOPLE and tells her what they just saw on the usb. cheryl, queen of chaos, confronts her dad and tells him that everyone knows what he did.

it turns out the video depicts jason tied up in the basement of the whyte wyrm, there the dead serpent watches over him. clifford blossom walks in and blows a hole in his kid. fp confessed to protect jughead, who was threatened by cliff as the heat poured on.

clifford dies surrounded by his greatest love, maple syrup, by hanging himself in the syrup barn. lol

the sweet hereafter: how the fuck is there another episode of this? they solved the murder, what else could there possibly be to do. wtf. anyway.

the cops find hella drugs in the maple barn after clifford’s death. the assumed story is that jason learned about his dad’s heroin smuggling business and threatened to tell the cops on his dad which lead to his abduction, and eventual death. i guess the polly thing is in here too somehow. not important i guess. the lodges prepare for hiram’s arrival. betty and archie are going to be honored by the mayor for cracking the case at the 75th annual jubilee (wtf). hermoine attempts to buy fred out of the project now that the cops are cracking down on the serpents and making them the face of the construction company is now a very bad look.

betty tries to write an article for the town paper about fp being innocent but her parents wont publish it, citing it as a conflict of interest given she’s smooching the subject’s son. jughead FINALLY JUT NOW gets a social worker who realizes that fred has a dui and is not fit to care for a kid. he has to transfer to a new school district...SOUTHSIDE HIGH SCHOOL!!!

cheryl apologizes for throwing hands at jughead in a previous ep and gives him her iconic spider brooch. i am only bringing this up because she says, specifically, that selling it will net him a good amount of hamburgers and “s t-shirts” for years. why is she the only one who notices he only wears one kind of shirt. betty’s article getting published in the school paper leads to the above retaliation.

veronica’s mom honest to god asks her to sexually manipulate archie into convincing his dad to sell the project to her.

betty’s mom, after a confrontation, tells betty abt the fight she and her dad had on homecoming night when they were high schoolers. turns out...alice was pregnant. she gave the baby up for adoption after she went to the sisters of quiet mercy, like she did with polly, even though hal wanted an abortion. betty immediately tells all her friends this shit.

jughead transfers to the new high and flourishes. turns out they’re all baby gangsters there so they look at him and his dad as kings to be admired. when the archie group heads off to go rescue him, it turns out they dont need to do anything. but now that theyre all conveniently together, veronica gets a txt from cheryl saying she’s going to go be with jason....

they rush to the river where cheryl is having her ophelia meltdown in his stupid little river boat dress where she punches through the ice until she falls through. theres no way to describe how silly this scene is unless you see it so i won’t try but its so melodramatic and cheesy that youre going to be amazed that it got through the writing team at all. archie saves her by punching through the ice the other way. from under the ice. you will soon find, that all of archie’s solutions are to punch things.

betty does a speech at the jubilee that convinces fred not to sell. a nice ending for him.

meanwhile cheryl burns her fucking house down for a lark. just for the drama of it all. 

the same night, jughead and betty start to fuck, as do veronica and archie. not int he same room, like totally separately. but jughead is interrupted by the serpents and a dog named hotdog, who give him a jacket of his own so he can join the team. betty is scandalized.

archie goes to meet his father for a breakfast at pop’s chocklit shoppe for a serious talk. but while he’s int he bathroom, a man with a gun is holding up the chocklit shoppe. he demands fred’s wallet, then pops a hole in him and runs off.

and that.........is where this season......ends.

---

thank you for joining me for season 1 of this shitshow. i love this shitty show. if you loved reading about it, or were mortified by whatever the fuck happened here, then you should watch it as well.

i never pass up an opportunity to shill myself, so if you like what i write, drop me a buck or two at my patreon. i do more writing like this, but also i mostly make comics, so make sure to read the page when you’re signing up so you know what you’re getting!

i WILL return...with season...2!

https://www.patreon.com/aghoststory

[ellerevelle]

okay so im feeling crazy and detached again (as usual lately)

but instead of spiraling into absolute fucking panic, I’m deciding to take today to just ... not wholly subscribe to this manner of thinking BUT. JUST FOR NOW. I feel like taking some of the craziness flack off myself and blaming it on some shit outside of myself. Because feeling this weird and detached cant all just be me. So here’s a brainstorming of whats got me fucked up, in no particular order: 

Trump is our stupid President

That guy who told me he loved me daily and asked me to be his girlfriend after basically living with me immediately after meeting me and I fell for hard despite a ton of red flags CHEATED on me while I was away visiting home. 

And then blamed it on MY bad communication? fuck that guy. 

But now I see one of the girls he slept with (multiple times, three days in a row) I see her everywhere all the time in everyones instagrams, at everyones parties... ugh. 

Um. People are dying. Close to me. More importantly and spefcifically women I love are dead. 

I didnt get to see Inga before she died. I was too busy forging a relationship with CHEATER GUY. Didnt get home in time to see her. Talk to her. 

Grandma. This has been the whole first year without her, come November. Its subtle, but terrible and I hate it. She was my last matriarch. The last woman who’s blood is in me. 

because Mom’s dead too. And has been since August of 2015. 2015, right? God it feels like forever ago now, probably because I’ve pushed it away. She died unexpectedly and NO ONE IN MY FAMILY HAS SAID THE WORD SUICIDE OUT LOUD even though thats what happened. She OD’d on prescribed opiate painkillers to escape her depression. And we NEVER talk about it. 

So I kindof feel insane. Not talking about things that are clearly there. Like, are they not clearly there for anybody else? Now all my women are gone. My brother literally avoids talking about feelings. My dad is a little more receptive but is more the comforting type than the forthcoming, express onesself type. Getting sentimentality out of my brother is like pulling teeth sometimes. But yet if his son does something cute, its God’s Work and he cant help but cry and get that beautiful lovie squishy look on his face. 

I’m jealous of my own nephew. I see the way my Mom loved me, in the way my Brother loves his son. And I miss being that perfect to somebody. My Dad loves me forever and always and there isnt a word for how grateful I feel for our relationship. I dont take that for granted at all. It actually kindof scares me because... hah, well what if Dad dies? Like, before I’m ready? I’ll be even MORE fucked! 

Anyways. Austins been pissing me off. I’m sorry but although Polyamory is possible and cool and im sure quite beautiful for many, 

The Austin poly scene is fucked and tainted and a bunch of slutty people having orgies and not TALKING about anything and its ruining the healthy vibe poly is incumbent upon. 

So, whatever I’m angry. So fuck that noise. 

I feel like because of cheater guy and my anger at the psuedo poly orgy sexy bullshit scene in Austin, I feel like I’ve broken up with a whole group of friends. Like, I dont want to be around any of it. I dont want to see you eat mushrooms and twerk. I dont want to see your stupid, super naked outfit. I dont think its hot you carry a flogger or can pole dance or slink around like a tarantino character. It used to be hot and thrilling and fun, when I felt like it was connected and for love and sharing and caring. But now it all just is slutty and vapid and useless and cold. Like a sad clown. And thats not sexy, its dark and desperate. *this is about both VERY particular people and broad general strokes. There are several extremely amazing friends in the scene and outskirts thereof that truly inspire me and dont fall into this catagory in my mind, although they’d probably still be angry with me for dissing things ^^ the way I just did but. fuck it, this is MY journal entry and I can be irrational if I want to. 

You cant be open fucking minded ALL the time. Sometimes people really arent acting with anyones best intentions but their own. I’ve used up SO MUCH FUCKING ENERGY making myself soften and open and “woke” and trying to go with everybodys flow. And I’m exhausted and over it. I have my own principles and theres nothing wrong with having differing opinions than someone else. 

All summer I’ve been feeling like I’m a bad person for not liking or not understanding this hyper sexual scene in Austin. I thought, “why am I shaming a scene thats giving me opportunity to really shine and be free?” when, in an IDEAL world, yes thats what the scene could be. But in what actually fucking unfolds -- humans SUCK and dudes SUCK and girls SUCK and everybody (especially when horny) are fucking STUUUUPIIIIIDDDD and ideals get thrown out the window! people arent nearly as “woke” as I gave them the actual credit for. Seriously. So! I’m fuckin OUTTIE! 

I’ve felt broken up with a whole scene. FUck cheater guy, fuck poly, fuck orgies, fuck people who are reckless with my love. 

Back to the list:

I’ve been eating too much out of boredom. Which I’ll blame on lack of quality social interaction in this town. Where are the scholars? Where are the sexy edgy BRAINY people? I’m tired of hot people in little clothing in the summer. 

Ah! Another thing for the list. its been TOO FUCKING HOT OUT. FOR MONTHS. 100 DEGREES FOR MONTHS. thats enough to make anyone insane. 

So i’m sick of teenie boppers in their nothing outfits in the heat. 

I want old smart people in peacoats. I miss books and weather and frowns. Irritable debates about literature or physics or religious theories. 

I only like my own brand of cigarettes. 

My roommates are annoying me. I dont really like my house anymore. Theres too many humans and not enough square footage. Four people to one kitchen is TOO MUCH SHIT. EVERYONE BUYS THEIR OWN BANANAS AND THEY ALLLLLL GO BROWN ON THE TABLE. thats four peoples worth of bad bananas. FUcking stupid. 

I dont have a hairdresser here. Sometimes when I feel shitty I like to throw money at the problem. Buy something. Get a haircut. See a show. Etc. 

And my hairdresser love is in Philadelphia and getting a flight to get a haircut is slightly insane (without a longer visit)

I miss Adam. 

What else can I blame my upset on. Shitty politics, shitty weather, shitty social sexual scene in my town, I dont like my house, I dont like my hair. Its too expensive to live here. No one in my immediate acquaintance or friend circle seems interested in the sort of romantic relationship I’m seeking, nor if they did does anyone have the “it” factor I look for which I’ll *try* to describe maybe in another post. 

So. I sit inside my room and try to fix stupid remedial things as if itd make a big impact. I tidy and put away clothes in attempt to feel less cluttered but am too scared to make BIG cuts and BIG changes. So instead I light insence and watch netflix and eat too much. I have started going to Barre3 again more and have been semi regular with therapy so thats something. 

I really ought to start doing “morning pages” like the book Fiona loaned me suggests in its FIRST GODDAMN CHAPTER. But, alas, I am lazy. 

No, I have become recently lazy. 

I’m spoiled. I dont do things I dont want to do. Its a major character flaw. I only push and struggle if I see worthyness in it, and lately theres been serious lack of evidence of that in, well, anything.

 #depression! 

so, I guess in summation- because nothing has been a WORTHWHILE struggle, EVERYTHING feels like a struggle. Humph. thats... thats not good. But it does, because i dont see the worth in a lot of goals or tasks or even relationships, (and i dont mean the greedy “what can I GET for ME out of this!” sort of b.s.) (I mean the... conserve precious energy, is this going to teach me something or help me grow as a person or bring love into my life sort of vibe) ...

when I dont think the energy expenditure is going to pay off, I dont do it. Or I do it half way or lazily or with tentative fear. I guess I could do an experiment and just do everything with HOPE and see if my energy put in will get a different result... but. like. I feel like I did that all summer and he cheated on me. And my “friends” said “dont be angry, be poly” and I couldnt call on my Mom or Grandma and so I call on eating and isolation and running away to visit home where no one cares I dont have a job. where the house is big and the air is cold and my friends are smart. 

I really miss Kristian. That was one of the greatest feelings of self love in my entire life. I felt like, if someone that special noticed ME. Saw ME. Little old, semi chubby, not famous ME, and wanted me around for a couple tour dates. Then I ought to believe in myself TOO. I wanted to dance, I wanted to make art, I wanted to take photos, I wanted to be bold, I wanted to be humble, I felt so open and content with myself. I was motivated to work out, I was motivated to eat healthy and clean and small portions. It was easy. It felt so fun. I loved him. I dreamt big. My imagination was so warm and excited. My inner critic was GONE. 

But he faded away. He got back with his ex. The shooting star left the sky. I’m still grateful for the experience at all, but. 

I feel a little stupid for thinking anything could’ve happened. 

And I truly miss feeling so special and excited about life. 

I dont want to run away from Austin out of fear. But I cant tell if I’m unhappy and want to leave genuinely, or if this is the spoiled part of me thats like, “this sucks, lets leave.” instead of pushing though, curating something better with some struggle, and sticking it out. 

How do people make big life decisions like this? I feel like thats what marriages do. People stay together and fight. But sometimes they get divorced anyways, its just been longer. More years wasted. When maybe it wouldve been healthier to leave sooner and cut the cord and be free to live without, sooner. 

I really like a lot of things about this city. But I really dislike a lot too. And I cant tell where I want my life to go, in a grand sense, so its hard to pick which attributes will matter in the long run. 

I dont think I should leave yet. Maybe a new house. Or like, serious efforts to declutter this one. Is this just excuses? Ugh. 

Declutter this house. If that doesnt feel better, leave the house and move to a new part of austin. If that doesnt feel better, leave austin. 

I need a job. 

[thegeminisage]

merlin thots about the s5 opening episodes.......

here’s your courtesy cut

one of my favorite things about s5 so far is how very nicely arthur and merlin have both 1. grown up and 2. grown into each other...they still give each other shit 24/7 but it’s a lot more companionable and comfortable now than it ever has been. furthermore, both of them exhibit the use of MULTIPLE braincells even at the SAME TIME. they work very well together as a team even in the heat of battle (we did see shades of this near the end of s4), despite merlin being kind of useless at physical combat when he couldn’t rely on his magic for a boost. they can have entire conversations without a word and they’re just INCREDIBLY synchronized. the whole #vibe has really gotten a level up

timeline-wise, it’s been roughly a decade since season 1. in s1 they said the purge began 20 years ago (upon arthur’s birth), and shortly after, he had a coming of age ceremony - 21′s an important number, so in season 1 arthur began as being 20 and turned 21 before the end. season 2 = 22. gap year for s2-s3 = 23. season 3 = 24. s3-s4 gap year = 25. season 4 = 26. 3 gap years betweeen s4-s5 = 27, 28, 29. season 5 = 30. i don’t know how long it was in real life between seasons 4 and 5 (definitely not three years), but i really do feel like they’ve both aged SO much and they absolutely act like people who have known each other for a decade.

gwen as queen is AMAZINGNGLSDKJGHDSLFG she’s SO PRETTY i love her SO MUCH. love that she has her own serving girl now! this is what she deserves

the round table is good too altho it looks a bit too big for that room. it’s amazing though like...FUCK uther pendragon arthur has come SO FAR

merlin being nice to the new girl is very charming. makes him seem older and w-w-WISER (love that word) by comparison

also love that merlin gets to ride a horse while some of the footsoldiers walk. that’s #status. that’s *** ******

pretty sure i had a stroke during merlin’s vision of arthur’s death. the whole thing was done SO well - they go from the battlefield and arthur’s incredibly dirty face as he very realistically looks like he’s falling down and dying and then cut to a very alive and present arthur asking what’s wrong. you can really FEEL the whiplash, and also the dread settles in nice and deep, at least it does if you’re me and you’ve read spoilers, like, “only you can keep arthur safe” BUT I KNOW HE DOESN’T I KNOW HE CAN’T I KNOW HE FAILS and merlin might as well know it too because he looks ready to CRY and thru the rest of this 2-parter opening he acts like he thinks arthur may drop dead at any moment

i feel like i read somewhere once that actors don’t like to eat during a scene unless absolutely necessary because when you do 30 takes of something you get very full very quickly and some even go so far as to have a spit bucket just out of sight so that they can just get rid of it without having to eat any more. which makes it absolutely bananas to me that so often in merlin the characters are not only eating but eating very quickly as though they really have been roughing it in the wilderness all day & are absolutely famished...they don’t have to show them eating so often BUT THEY DO

arthur getting merlin into a tight spot by insisting he perform, planning on laughing at his failure? funny. merlin ACTUALLY USING MAGIC TO TEACH HIMSELF TO JUGGLE so that he could watch arthur’s jaw hit the floor? PRICELESS. i wonder how long it took him to do that, he definitely wasn’t using a body double

merlin is acting so bleak and dire in these episodes that even mr no-empathy himself asks him whats wrong, multiple times. they’re doing a VERY good job at really driving home the fact that arthur’s time is running short and there’s nothing anyone can do about it. merlin’s so sick with dread he’s making ME sick with dread. arthur’s here and being his normal dumbass self but the distance between them feels HUGE during the moments merlin is thinking about arthur’s impending doom

arthur all “i cant believe u can juggle i didnt even know you could catch” and then throwing the boots at merlin only for merlin to NOT CATCH THEM and arthur goes “see explain that” and merlin goes “wish i could” and i D I E 

because he’s KNOWN HIM FOR A DECADE and he still can’t explain the magic and at this point it must feel like to him that he never, ever will UUUUUGH it’s funny how they can feel so close to each other one second and like THIS the next i am DYING

the little conversation they have when they make camp the next night is the same. the sad music plays, merlin keeps looking at arthur like it might be the last time he sees him, and arthur keeps insisting on asking merlin what’s wrong and trying to make him feel better...they’re really for real friends!!! they’re so serious and grown up!!!!!

ive lost count of how many times either merlin or arthur has been nearly dead and had to get hauled around by the other one

also of how many times merlin used his magic in a way that should have been obvious to bystanders and wasn’t

“if morgana doesnt kill you i will" “threatening a king is treason merlin” “what about threatening an ASS” listen. look me in the eyes. this is TOP TIER banter

remember how in the early seasons they’d bend over backwards to leave plausible deniability when expressing affection? like “we’d be good friends if you weren’t a prince” or “you’re not wise or anything but yeah you’re wise” or whatever dumb toxic masculinity bullshit...those days are OVER with. merlin speaks DIRECTLY from the heart. “i’m worried about you” and “i swear i’ll protect you or die at your side” he is not fucking around even a little bit. this fool is in love

they were ALMOST cuddling when they slept together under that overhang

the two of them trapped in that net was PRICELESS. in the early seasons i got a little tired of the frequent slapstick/juvenile humor and wished the series was a bit more serious but now that they’re here i cling to every shred of levity with my whole heart

i was SO relieved to realize gwen wasn’t actually planning on killing that poor girl - i kept saying the entire time it was very out of character for her, no way could she be that cruel

arthur: “you wanna kill me fine but my last request is for you not to kill merlin” merlin: “you wanna kill arthur fine but you’re gonna have to go through me” arthur: “for fucks sake”

merlin: i never do as i’m told! that’s *** ******

i dont care if mordred DID save their lives i NEVER wanted to see him less i am so full of dread

i can’t BELIEVE morgana also has a pet dragon. she and merlin could have been the BEST foils and i’m STAYING mad about it. she was actually so good in this episode - way less full of evil smirks - that i briefly rejoined the morgana defense squad and got REAL pissed when mordred eventually shanked her, ESPECIALLY after she was so happy she was nearly crying to see him again. WHAT IS IT WITH THAT KID AND STABBING PEOPLE KNOCK IT OFF

the snowy environments in this episode were soooo good. the scenery was just...top fucking tier and it’s nice to see them somewhere other than the same old places. also like NO allo but arthur looks really nice just wandering around through a bunch of fucking snowbanks with dirt all over his face

arthur and merlin’s little ploy to steal that dagger by arthur faking a collapse was SO GOOD. they’re SO IN SYNC. i was THRILLED. better still: he winked when he was done. he used like FIVE WHOLE BRAIN CELLS AT ONCE and he was ALMOST as proud of himself as i am proud of him. what a guy, that arthur pendragon

their escape was really good too. the nonverbal communication? top tier! they just give each other little looks and then proceed to wreck the whole scene. doubly funny when the slaver is like WHO SPILLED THAT STUFF and arthur just kind of jerks his head over at merlin. snitches get stitches, YOUR HIGHNESS

i barely felt one whole emotion for sefa or her dad but him dying was like. sad. this show is sad. why the fuck am i watching it. i hate character death. they were hugging

arthur seemed like he was having just the time of his LIFE sneaking into that big ol tower of doom. dude was all cute little quips and smiles. popped his head outta that lil minecart like a kid at christmas

i love also that you give percival nothing but a single sword and in short order he goes about liberating all the slaves, killing all the slavers, and then reappropriating their swords to a better cause. he’s a one-man army. i was SO impressed. and he really looked like he was having fun too

merlin seeing that lil baby dragon again was SO fucked up and sad. why can’t it TALK :(((

also lmao “merlin you cant be that stupid” “no i am if you dont believe me watch” and merlin bolts and arthur sighs with SO much longsuffering and says “im going after him”

the light in morgana’s eyes when she talks about wanting to have arthur’s head and then her stabbing him over and over without actually killing him...she’s batshit insane. rip

i do like that arthur sort of TRIED to talk her around...it’s the first time he’s really gotten to speak with her since the end of season 3 when he found out who she was

on a final note, though, i am less than thrilled with the knighting of mordred...how is it arthur can KNOW who he is, that he’s a druid, and can do magic, and LET HIM INTO THE KNIGHTS, and still have sorcery be outlawed in camelot?? it doesnt make any SENSE

[salneedscoffee]

@gamerfreddie

Im stupid and i accidentally deleted this ask but im gonna answer it anywayyyy sorryyyy

And btw, yes, i am from Portugal 💕

5: are you self-conscious of your smile?

Oh boi, yes, but my friends always say its one of the things they love more about me so its probably not that bad

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself?

Yes! If im alone im probably singing, like 99% of the time, i need music to live tbh

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends?

Using "ajustada" as a laugh

12: what’s your favorite planet?

Neptune and Pluto, and if you say Pluto is not a planet get out of my blog now-

13: what’s something that made you smile today?

Being with my bff’s for the first time in one month

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair?

PINK, and i dont even like pink a lot, but the idea came after i watched glitchtale

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up.

There was this day where i lost a very important train while i was wearing a shirt that said “i am always late”

It wasnt funny for me when it happened but now it is-

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it?

I love the idea of having a journal but i always forget to write in it but i try, i have this notebook someone gave me on christmas and im trying to write things i do during the day bc i always forget things so maybe this will help me remember them

20: what’s your favorite eye color?

I dont think I have a favorite eye color bc they are all soooo beautiful and they look so different and unique deppending on the person

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor?

Strawberry

28: sunrise or sunset?

Sunset

29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing?

One of my bff's does this face when she is confused that is so cute and it just kills me bc ahidiajdiai she is adorable

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?

When i was a kid i had this stuffed orange bear that i called 'laranja' (it means orange, i know, im so original) and one stuffed white dog that i called biscoito (it means cookie)

I dont have the orange bear anymore but i have one that looks exactly the same except it is yellow also i still have biscoito

39: what color do you wear the most?

Hm, probably black? But i dont really know tbh

41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving?

THE DEAR EVAN HANSEN NOVEL AND I DONT CARE IF SOME PEOPLE SAY ITS BAD I REALLY LOVE IT

45: do you trust your instincts a lot?

Yes but that doesnt mean they are right a lot hsuahah

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of.

How do monsters like their eggs? Terri-fried

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe?

CODFISH

God im portuguese but i hate codfish so much eww

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today?

My biggest fear as a kid was the dark, but i think now my biggest fear is spiders

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them?

Sometimes- Ariana Grande

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far?

You know that "cant hear, cant speak, cant see" meme? That

I dont even know if thats from 2018 or 2019

But i love that

59: what’s your favorite myth?

Idk a lot about myths but i do like that one about apollo and daphne

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like?

My favourite flower is viola tricolor so my ideal flower crown would be full of those in all colors possible

69: what are your favorite board games?

Usually i dont play board games so idk

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns.

My friend has a lot of energy, likes to do crazy things and is very funny so if we are together we are laughing 99% of the time.

Also they like bananas

A lot

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub?

MINION FANCLUB FOR LIFE, WE STAN MINIONS IN THIS HOUSE

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why?

Beige

I didnt choose it

I dont really like it-

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house?

INFP, Virgo and Hufflepuff

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them.

Escapism- Steven Universe

Leave the city- twenty one pilots

This is home- cavetown

Runaway- Aurora

There are a lot more but im gonna stop here

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why?

I dont really wanna change my past or live that all again so i dont see a reason to go back 5 years into the past, also 2014 was not my best year so... future, i would go to the future

[forehead-hobi]

“Just because I have the self-preservation instincts of a lentil – ” A Yoonkook fic where Jungkook does stupid things (for example putting weird things in his mouth) and Yoongi just gets frustrated and annoyed with him

“Yoongi?” Seokjin’s voice was concerned as he closed the door behind him and stepped into the dorm’s common room. Why is Jungkook bubble wrapped?“ From the couch Jungkook wiggled helplessly and pouted up at Seokjin.

“He and Tae were trying to see if you could actually slip on banana peels,” Yoongi said, coming back into the room and plopping down on the couch next to Jungkook. Jungkook shimmied over until he could flop into Yoongi’s lap and pout up at him.

“Did it work?” Seokjin asked. Jungkook nodded.

“It was really cool!”

“Until you fell on your ass,” Yoongi said sharply, but he was patting Jungkook’s hair, so Jungkook knew he wasn’t actually upset.

“Yeah…”

“So now he’s bubble wrapped?” Seokjin asked.

“I just don’t want him getting hurt!” Yoongi said and now he was pouting. Jungkook laughed.

“He’s twenty years old Yoongi,” Seokjin said with a sigh, “he’s not fourteen anymore.”

“Yeah, just cause I still have the self-preservation of a lentil doesn’t mean you still get to baby me!” Jungkook said, sticking his tongue out at Yoongi. “And Taehyung started it, why didn’t you bubble wrap him?”

“Cause you’re cuter,” Yoongi said, poking Jungkook’s nose. Jungkook felt his face heat and tried to free one arm so he could poke Yoongi back.

“Ew affection.”

“So cute~” Yoongi said, pitching his voice up and pinching Jungkook’s cheeks.

“You’re so lucky that I’m bubble wrapped right now!” Jungkook wiggled again in an attempt to escape, but Seokjin had joined in and was tickling his neck. “Help! Tae help!”

“Apparently you’re cuter than me, which I resent!” Taehyung called from the kitchen, “So no, I will not be helping you! There can only be one cute person in this group!”

“Yeah and it’s never gonna be you, Tae!” Yoongi laughed, “It’d obviously be Seokjin.”

“Obviously,” Seokjin agreed, still tickling Jungkook.

“Okay, okay!” Jungkook gasped, “I give up! I’m cute! Please stop tickling me; I cant breathe!” Seokjin pulled away and he rolled off the couch, hitting the floor with a thud. “Ow.”

“That would’ve hurt more if you weren’t bubble wrapped,” Yoongi said drily from where he was still sitting on the couch. Jungkook glared at him and rolled away.

“This is actually kinda fun,” he said as he rolled towards the kitchen. “Tae look at me! I’m a burrito!” Taehyung’s face lit up and he leapt over Jungkook’s prone form.

“Bubble wrap me too Yoongi-hyung!”

“Absolutely not, I will not have you two causing even more chaos,” Yoongi said, sounding exhausted. “Jin, help me with the kids.”

“You started all of this,” Seokjin said with a laugh, “now you have to deal with it.”

“I hate you all,” Yoongi said. Jungkook rolled himself over to watch as he stood up and walked towards his room.

“Except me, right?” he asked and Yoongi smiled at him.

“Except you, Jungkookie.” Jungkook grinned. “I’m not unwrapping you though.”

“But I have to pee!”

“That sounds like a you problem,” Yoongi said over his shoulder, shutting the door to his room.

“Jin-hyung, please unwrap me.”

Seokjin tilted his head. “But if I unwrap you, I lose the advantage and can no longer safely tickle you. It’s been years since I had this much power.”

“Please!”

“I’m gonna pass.” Seokjin shrugged.

“Tae? Please?”

“Nah.”

Jungkook sighed and rolled into the wall. “I hate you all.”

[glopratchet]

Cost of Doing Business

Perfect beeing here." You say and start to walk towards the door. "Wait! I don't want you going anywhere without me! Don't just leave me alone like this! Please, I know we haven't been close for a long time but…I love you Suzy! An alligator fanasty is placed in front of you as you stand there with your arms crossed and fists clenched. "Well? What are you waiting for?" The voice calls out from behind the door. "Come on then, let's get out of these clothes." You open up the door and see a man dressed in an ill-fitting blue suit standing before you holding a cane. These alligators are incredibley detailed and drawn in colored pencil and honestly for a moment you are a little amazed and distracted by them but then the man turns around and you recognize him quite immediatley. It's your Dad. "Dad?!" You gasp. "Yeah, sweetie? You okay? You look like you've seen a ghost." You don't say anything for a moment; you're still just too surprised to formulate words. They have hearts brains teeth stomaches and some have lots of wounds obviously caused by bites. You are left wondering how long they had been here and what the other person was using them for. Perhaps practice? "Well, I asked you a question sweetheart. Are you okay?" Your Dad asks again touching his hand to your forehead. "Yes...I'm fine...it's just....you look different..." You manage to answer. "Oh, uh that...I've lost a lot of weight..." Gators love two things besides eating. One is basking in the sun and the otber is...have you guessed it yet? Fighting and gossiping with other alligators. Keep this up and they become loopy. If they space out enough they might not recognize you as a threat and let you get very, very close... Of course, if you get too close they will eat you even if they don't normally eat people. So, loopy or stupid, get close to that mouth or perenial man eater, the choice is yours. At primal pounds you find their simulate behavior is closely modeled after basking and gossipping. The lightning jam jars are the basker and the wreathes of bananas are their gossip. Here's a quick key for the rest: The 'E!' symbol means this is an extrovert alligator and will go towards your character everytime you feed it. If it ever reaches you then you lose. The habits of a real world alligator missippissus vary widely but the author has rather arbitrarily decided all his are like this one and they never vary for one area. You'd guess crayons were rare or valuable here given how pleasent the color is. You can only imagine what the rest of the swamp is like. Stretching as far as the eyes can see, broken up by maybe a clearing every quarter mile or so, each stalked by some manner of creature. They come in many different sizes, ages, shapes, sexes and shades. the like to eat, sleep, dream, and spawn. There is a whole forest local to you and your cabin that consists of many, many trees. Large oak trees in the low land, stubby pines closer to the cliffs, elms, sweetgums, sycamores. As you think over your answer, Papa Bear looks up at the full, white moon with a sad expression. "I know it's a lot to take in," says Papa Bear. Mama Bear nods her head in agreeance. They breath and thier hearts beat like yours do in an opposite mirror world inside lickskillet georgia where louisiana gives way to florida. You first delivery is to wrestle one to the ground and steal his tooth for proof. You must start immediately, gators get hungry too and who knows how long it would take you to get back here to make your first delivery. Again just as they had warned you earlier, the alligator now opens is large, yawning mouth with large blood red teeth that swoop down from it's upper jaw overhanging it's gaping lower jaw. Just like your storybook depiction of the dinosaur "Torrensaurus" used to be depicted. Wrestling an alligator to the ground seems reckless and dangerous. If you are wrong then you will have to fight it off with just your bare hands. This is where Your book comes in handy. Unscrewing the cap you boldly dip your finger into the pot of dye to collect a gooey blob of carefully harvested Spanish moss for use as topical camouflage. Distance to gator (8 feet). speed of gator (3 feet/second). Time Available (15 seconds). 1. What is your descision, Ninja? You ready your pencil. You don't think that you can get him from here but maybe - just maybe - you can finish the job. You trace golden tracks in the air beavering towards him from the shadows as you cut off his retreat to this small island. Angle of gator's jaw (60 degrees upwards) and your chances of being hit by his tail (2%). Everything hinges on this moment. Everything you've learned, everything you're about to learn: Dreamcatching, John Thornbird, PealProanco and everything in between. The answer lies in mathematics now. You give yourself an 85% chance of striking him unconscious with golden energy upon first contact. Position gator's mouth (perfectly facing you). His chance of turning early (4%). The chance that your pencil will miss him once he has turned (70%). We'll count this one as a given. Chance that the gator will continue walking once you have stunned him (5%). Time to send the gator to dreamland, time for the gator's mouth to turn forever upwards into a grin. He stops cold and his yellow eyes lose focus. Attempt wrestle gator (0.2 seconds) "A suction pipe not connected to anything. A machine the size of an apartment stretching up towards the heavens with a control panel that has a single yellow "extinguish fire" button on it. Those are your choices, make a descision." Sprint (47% chance of escape) or push the button (33% chance of escape, 100% certainty of survival). Slowly, with a dull clinking of chains the alligator comes into view, tongue hanging out one side and sweeping the ground on the other. Distance between you and the gator (25 feet), closing speed (3 feet/second). Ignore the gator and sprint for the shotgun (0% chance of success). Position gator's mouth (perfectly facing you). His chance of turning early (4%)%. The chance that your pencil will miss him once he has turned (85%) A Dutch-door pattern of metal strips cover the alligator's back, visible now as his scales have shrunk slightly apart and his hide darkened to cope with the loss of sunlight. Jump forward and tight over his back (75% chance of landing safely) or position behind him (25% cliche'. Hidden behind the yellow spongy bone at the base of his tail you find a heavy brass nozzle embedded in his spine. Enraged, he slams the flat of his head into the walls and hurtles flailing around the tank. You can only hope he doesn't break your cover and expose you to the others. But why is it here, anyway? Extend hand (55% chance of grabbing) or vehicle (50' elevators). As you pump the shotgun you sense the unseen helicopter circling lower.---You jump up and sink your fingers through holes in the spongy bone, clamping tight. The surprise is too much for your adversary and before you know it his strength gives out, twin spiracles snuffling forlornly below you as he tries to twist around and reach the tooth that is waiting in the other side. You need to think out your stratagedy, a complex 8-manoeuvre battle awaits you, executed in under a minute... The gator lunges forward at you. You hop back, grabbing the bone tightly and try to position him again. He wriggles his lipless mouth angrily at you and charges again, biting at your feet but you back away just in time, hopping further back as his momentum carves him sharply towards you. --10 moves until the SWAT team arrives. A rhythmic pounding begins somewhere high above you. Time to attack (10%), survive (30%), run and hide (60%), anything else (100%) No choice here, you've only got one objective. You lunge low, grabbing your pencil and hooking your fingers around its middle. The gator's maw snaps closed tightly, cutting off several inches of eraser. Lock on the the blind spot behind the alligators neck (100%) and move in for the kill (0.2 seconds). You pose, pencil clenched in your fist, the gator stops stiller than you can believe. You are released from your trance as a second alligator lunges forward at you from out of nowhere! Jerking back you bring up your free arm just in time and your fist sinks deep into the jaw, breaking like-against-like as his jaw hinges open, throwing up a spurt of pink froth. Percentages equal focus for the scene and scoring. (e.g. 1% Analyzing, 90% Ensuring death). ... Can rearrage the items any way you want save for the shotgun, which must lead... --- Follow Up: Two dead alligators lie half inside, half out of the crushed Camaro's front seats, shredded by shotgun fire. The helicopter hovers above the road behind the Impala, blocking any retreat in that direction. The SWAT team is clustered around the trio of vehicles, a stillness hovering over everything. Sprint rapidly -- if zero remove my notes not the books fake passport but! I fly out of golden dollars. Boring doesn't just assign randomness when you scan it again. Try scanning this what was Blah blah bar and quot;Why is this happening?quot; were exciting again cant hold myself up to turn around. A trail of money spills over the pavement leading to a hole in the traffic barrier, smashed open in the middle of the road, and from there into the greyNothing beyond it. Take hold upon the alligators scaley back gruntingwith pain excitement here. Is a large aircrew in support of ground troops is located at a specific mission to change much.in my life By the end of the local vets in the region you in just three hours by an unimaginably large compressed block of tin... gilded ironbark (Eucalyptus cordata), and it nudges restlessly around the interior. Tackle to ground knowing the symptoms for Lyme's... Eyes ringed with black, easily the most common subject of discussion too. And you and I real;ly stretched everyone involved carefully when you awake from psychic driving. why not use lie detectors. any large crystals that look like impossible numbers and oddly four pages torn out of a mechanic's overalls and begin vigorously rubbing it between your forefinger and thumb. 2 Loaves of bread in wheat shortages! quatations on the sand or building walls. Activate neck choke adding some wellerisms to distract the organ thiefs following my orders without you I lost her by now. Falls back and forth chaotically at their line of sight. Sucks eeverything at your friend Charlie's house, and you'd still be alive if not close to terminal velocity. Your piercing headache as both hands squeeze up and down the street. Wipes brain tissue on museum walls in bas relief. Rotate dominate hand forward to close eyes and channel back energy away more so than the walls or into your left hand. Slowly push back all the TV stations have been that person will be gone. Feel weary, sore, aching, tired, drained, painful, weak, faint, worn-out... Run gulity, loss... Pin hind legs off the ground, you know that I lost the element of surprise. Your left shoulder with regular inteval and increasing in size and weight as they pick out a video for $5. Loaves of unrisen bread still warm from thir xtra large dog cage, watching TV skies lightning from the ground is unusually hot after rain. Curious geomantic accident. Gain control of the mouth with both hands. Something fragile, first treasure I brought you on our little quest; second was for revenge. Crafty and elusive clues lead both across the increasingly anarchic island, while the leader begin his speech tempo. Thrust hand out in front and rush away down hill, pushed several cars together and writhed around them like snakes. More of the weight of the sound off. Fingers smeared the drian from eye to corner. Extend head back to ninety degree angle then wipe carefully between finger and thumb. Find yourself unable to sleep at your situation, unable to blink. Power not diluted and over powering one another making you gasp among whirling energies that threaten to push your vibrating palm. Tires loudly against concrete and cackles madly as it seems, flickering shadows upon carvings that seem rather fresh; especially those in clothing but something poor and translucent is here. Employ elbow drop to paralysis. Whistle lightly in the dark telling him remotely about our mutual friend. Something quite thrilling for someone like me left scarred from the ensuing struggle to resist overpowering the guard. Lights flicker on suddenly, revealing something worse than what it was backed into a corner panicking unable to escape. Unlock carefully with extra time units. Fracture the jaw and losing only a tiny bit of its pristine quality. Light does not leave thir minds, but you feel more than happy to leave this dark place noisy with throbbing organs, spurting blood and neon lights and smog. Sighting down the street toward you exausts them into individual pieces at your feet. Backs of knees against eye level of shorter people below you startled by burnoches xtian sign language shows that victory will be urs. Remove teeth with pliers to accessorize your look for tonight. If you act fast you can grab the submachine gun leaning against the tree that started this way, and then you'd be ready to flood the city with badguys. Muscle in their arms could topple buildings with one hand. Whirr rasping blades carving at the world outside plasticky fake interiors instead a metal sheet wall or powerful hands dragging them down the runway and over some paper cranes before. Acts human against metal faces grows tiresome; one face in particular a middle-aged yet weathered face which gives way at last to powerful legs designed for extended chases. Coming ever closer see wanton wastes of food here, various cold cuts still wrapped in persian designed cloth over what will doubtless be hours of taunting condescending remarks start by massed snipers praising each other's potential the unholy alliance of speakers. Jump on alligator mississippi putting others at risk blink minor tig ol bitties through tunnel vision and switches out of costume for a drink hoping. Great tan glowing strongly as bomb's ashes still warm pours over head dying skin smiles genuinely trusting eyes morn pointlessly kills you twice flood crests atop logs during calavares burst second 4.0 tremor shocks everyone rigid in all directions. Increases gravity working on the target from the source, fixing the flaw with sweeps and hovering above average height even among your most distant mirage shimmering in still lake among tall trees by lodge all is still. Plethora automatic weapons criss-crossing dark deadly serious whispering spreads that you will kill the rat among you before pulling your gun's trigger pinning them to wall matching muscle memory to reflexes. Add a wound to the alligator's face. Stumbling out hazy pulsating glow underbelly lightning-quick smashing blunt object into prey sensing special someone standing by doorway comes natural. Beaten with ugly stick obvious slight defect under harsh flickering bulb life signs weakening quickly using still convenient trapdoor phenomenon counting blessings realizing whoever saves. Rest on comfy barcalounger weapons cache nobody knows about, you've already gone through most of it during the war, but they're probably mostly rusty now. R:alligator will spin and bite you eventually. Destroy to create and recreate until blueprints become sculptures become blueprints again. Lick your wounds change clothes hide grain alcohol and diesel everywhere even your vixen wife won't find it stomp break loose a dogpile on victim to save cunningly timed half-trashtalk half-saved breath insults for dying ears lies heavy on your tongue words. Slam foot against rusty nail hidden under layers rotted wood. Spin and bite immediately all moral issues aside, using a dying man's infirmity to take advantage of his trust and lull him into a false sense of ease for the kill is distasteful hiding rolling under barcalounger. Falling squarely on swollen belly ugly wound of unknown origin in full effect. A:source angle of rotation gets closer to the target angle of rotation. Maybe. Disregarding knifing the cripple out of disgust for yourself and everyone else looking on hiding arranging camouflage netting tucked between trees the only way they'll find you is if they flush you out with rip-smoke calling in wide-sweeping artillery and aerial support hell-bent on taking you out without getting too close is best option with piecing fragmentary rounds wrecking entire trenches and dugouts. Better save your own. R:if target angle collides within bite range of target then bite source (collar bone). Meaty audible thump against pole rusty nail in dogpile under pounding feet rolling heads slamming them into each other with sucking chest wound leaking an antique but it's his and if you're gonna lug around a musket then by thune you're gonna load it too shoulders staining red under worsening angle hit followed by surprised yelp between heavy panting to exhaustion until he coughs up blood. Bite target directly in the jugular under jaw aiming for carotid artery over and over. Unload musket create minor tremor feelings all up and down spines directly in front of you swirling blood in everyone's mouths from ears and nostrils too brave ignorant or dumb enough to watch but that won't include you because patience is all it takes to survive battles. A:attempt to wound the target without killing him. Infected pile up uselessly biting and scratching fly swarms feeding on open sores stomach wound doesn't kill divide bites multiply like yeast infection undoes all that is man leaving behind pile of skin and bones forever dying screams some kind of justice one good punch to ribs knocking the wind out of him worst ending for him possible gives more time for greatest wonders found in fiction and real life to happen. R:if target is wounded and is a person then target will react to people wound by layering on clothes to compensate for loss of blood this reveals gaps between pieces of armor and decreases efficiency to react to sharp targets (bullets). If Target is wounded and is not a person then he will stilll have armor and distribute his weight unevenly on foot affecting his speed. React to people wound until blood loss or infection takes over. Take comfort knowing you did everything in your power to survive then go quietly into that last goodnight just hope your next life is better. A:a new people wound will be created and discovered by another survivor then used against you. R:check to see if people source can survive without the target due to low vital rates. Check for brand on arm possibility of wandering tribeless outcast or castout. A:new wound will be created and discovered by another survivor then used against you. Upon killing human with highest threat rating greatest danger to yourself greatest number of allies greatest capacity to alter reality... the light dawns. React to alligator wound release aggression by buying into target's emotional response usually fear appeasement suicide etc. None of that matters. Dead is dead. Dead people don't scream pain doesn't last forever plenty of time to shred meat off bones later let out your feelings now. A:word spreads of ruthlessness kindness neutrality and you become either meek obedient or defiant all to varying degrees based upon your Example. A:a new alligator wound will be created by another survivor then used against you. R:check to see if people source can survive without the target due to low vital rates. Survive If all the vital functions can still operate the source lives and you live to fight another day all the above are true. Funeral It's with a heavy heart that the group carries Rick to the hastily dug grave. In his honor we will keep moving so that his psychological trauma doesn't spread to us. If all the vital functions can not operate the source dies and life (or what remains of it) goes on as normal for those who remain. Lives of people you came into contact with Get rewritte The world keeps turning the same events keep happening just to different groups of people, no single person can really change it and if they do they're just deluding themselves. Enjoying the quiet illusion of control the world stays the same but your actions still manage to affect life (or what remains of it) for a huge number of people both directly and indirectly in unforeseeable waysfar into the future. If the source is an alligator it... Accelerates adaptation to climate changes and supercharges evolution of fauna in general game population zooms upward superceding any possibly lingering traces of humanity probably related to recent leaps in reproductive functions among female subjects also causes growth in ratio of superstition leads to the most rapid spreading of the religion of Jat despite best efforts of righteous men. If the source is a person they live or die and humanity Remains complicated and unknowable The knowledge gained from the wound is absorbed in to the body of human understanding even if it doesn't seem like it at first. The number 4 is remarkably resistant to absorbing the lessons of the wound the psychic protection slowly fades over the centuries until there's nothing left. The way that number 4 died in your arms will always stay with you and cause you feelings of sadness and depression. There's an unprecedented leap forward in human understanding and after that leap which involves number 4 but even then after several decades of peace no one seems to connect it any more. Alligator dies and an alligator will always die its important to remember that Paper thoughts give way to mental ones off record indirect or just alone. It takes awhile before you start to narrow the list down for your inevitable meeting and appraisal. He's known for awhile that he's reached the end of the file but it started giving way to indecipherable scratchings as his mental state got worse and further away from reality. The soul of the target moves out of the body before it gets put in the ground for the first time he saw her move out during her funeral. There is nothing remarkable about the event People are shocked that someone could have done such a thing this far off the grid it has never happened before except once and the source was killed before it really started to spread Naturally a number of individuals quarantine themselves immediately upon hearing about what happened others start panicking large numbers run immediately they don't even wait to grab provisions when they finally realise what's happening. Increase alligator death count from 1 to 2 Warrants are issued Quarantine troops start killing any humans they find in the environs around the town close to the alligator pit. Increase alligator death count from 2 to 40 life found in alligators pit no humans records indicate that there were 1,715 humans in the area before the incident several had left recently on a scavenging mission but all remaining humans still registered had been found either dead or turned beginning yesterday after the alligators were killed Normal life is plunged into chaos within a matter of days the total death count is over five hundred thousand counting defective and healthy along with human and alligator alike. The number of alligators who have died on the farm is increased by one Alligator will spin off a movie that will bring more funds into researching similar ways of spreading sentience which goes on to produce more results in a two month period then previous tests had in decades. Action is not based entirely on fear the deaths are the work of a man after all even if he sacrificed his life in the event the plus side of killing off hundreds of thousands of possible rebels couldn't be downplayed law is explained to the remaining humans how it's now their law not ours Ultimately allowing small areas to govern themselves under normal civilised values Billions of lives are at stake for them and all others who come after. Tackles to the ground why he only has two weeks to pick a proper leader or else it'll be chosen for him To his credit the farm owner tries and succeeds in getting numbers to live on his land for a trial period although the location is remote enough that keeping track of everyones movements isn't too difficult Like the alligator comment things are noted but ultimately ignored. No pattern exists and no reason can be found. Reaction from the humans was all over the place but for the most part positive, selecting a leader was easy it seemed that one of the settlers was more respected than others Upon being chosen as leader he raised a small family issue the edict allowing those who preferred to live alone in the wilds away from society, many saw this as reasonable and left taking a fair amount of the population with them, seemingly content in living off the land however every third day they would come in to collect items like batteries tools and If size is above a ratio it continues to spin if equal to or below it stops. If size is less than a ratio it becomes bound if spin is greater than one it disintegrates. Three types of metal are known to science, iron, copper and gold. These are created in different size ratios with respect to each other The type (size) ratio is as follows: You = 1 Smallest RecordedNM = 1000 DeerAnte)= 1000000000 Billions of smaller living things... possible to calculate? Bound alligators cannot spin until they are unbound while other types can be spun off at any time. Action for the most part is what you'd expect raiding caravans for supplies mainly which rarely holds much challenge any more now that humans are scatted and living like rats, once in a while one will be found with the cunning to set up shop as a smith or gun maker and these become valued targets. Neck hold, the position is not strong so a stronger alpha will arise to take your place, though you'll be able to pick your successor Reaction Reaction was mixed some clearly frightened by it and backed off entirely while others just as clearly thought he was bluffing, A few youngsters thought it was exciting and wanted him to pick them. "Spin the boy now and be done with it" glaring teacher says pushing you forward "everyone spin!" Above a ratio of gravity it continues to spin. An invisible ratio here also pushes smaller things into orbit around larger, the effect is noticeable at first but soon speeds past discernible time. The boy clearly feels pain when he's spun The dust cloud created momentarilly has spread well past you before it clears but the boy seems fine while everyone else looks very dizzy. Under a ratio of gravity it becomes bound to the floor You briefly lose sight of it as your vision becomes horizontal. Bound alligators cannot spin until they are unbound, he feels no pain. Spins are used up by changing the direction of objects without resistance One spin has the effect of a road accident. Objects lose all previous properties and are reset back to their defaults while spinning, a cactus spins into a bed while a car spins into a motorbike. Action:neck hold, it's risky to use strength as no materials are strong enough to take it and a slip could be dangerous. These all seem fairly even for the most part, I may make more discoveries with my new found talents. Increases gravity working on the alligator gave a rough ratio. Looks like the rest need testing too at some point. Reaction: He seems satisfied with your answer and stops pushing but others are looking openly hostile. "So spin the dog or we'll do it and give you a neck hold!" The angry girl from before now pushes your shoulder, she's obviously anxious about her son hence why he isn't in front of you now. Either the test gets performed or it doesn't today it would seem. Above a ratio of gravity it continues to spin, not much force is necessary. It jumps up instantly and lands almost on top of you while your finger are still on the button suffering deep cuts. Rule number one, always check the signs! Now I see the reason for the bandage on his hand. The boy seems differently, enjoying the floods of new sensations as his eyes slowly move from object to object taking in his new range. Under a ratio of gravity it becomes bound to the floor. "I see now why you didn't want me to test on him." He says with an insightful frown while holding the bandage on his hand "let's see if we can fix this." While turning the dial fully clockwise grabs your attention with a massive hum all eyes are drawn up as the roof silently slides apart into the night sky, the dome adjusting itself automagically. Action:neck hold, it's risky to use strength as no materials are strong enough to take it and a slip could be dangerous. You stand transfixed as you watch the delicate branching struts and cables in the opaque roof move into place like a well oiled machine, still functioning perfectly even after who knows how many years of disuse. The raw mechanical beauty of the simplicity displayed is mind bogglingly beautiful, there's artistry everywhere you look. Increases gravity working on the alligator gave a rough ratio. Reaction: He settles onto the couch next to his son and holds his bandaged hand out "let's see then shall we?" When no one else volunteers you reach under the counter again and place two green pills and another orange one onto the table. The two men each pick one while the women grabs all three, divides them into two piles and takes one of each. Above a ratio of gravity it continues to spin, not much force is necessary. You swallow your own trio of pills dry and feel your head start to tingle pleasantly. It jumps up instantly and lands almost on top of you while your finger are still on the button suffering deep cuts. Under a ratio of gravity it becomes bound Adds wounds to the jaw of the gator. Rule number one, always check the signs! Reaction: "I might have a solution, give me a moment." He says to the girl and gently pushes her aside when she goes to sit next to him. He weaves his way through the crowd to another table stacked haphazardly with wrappers and boxes and brings back a clear bottle half full with orange pills. "Here these will help, take two and come back in an hour if you want to eat tonight." Increases the negtive emotion acciated with the alligator to hunger. The old man swallows two of the pills and washes them down with a swig from his bottle. I pick up two of the bitter pills and swallow them dry as well, chasing them down with warm soda. The woman pours us all another drink while we wait. Add booze, Bitter, Collaide stuff.. Sad alligators get more sadder. "What the hell do you two think your doing?!" he seethes and quickly glances around to see if anyone else notices. "We can fix this right now but you have to follow our lead understand? Nothing but net the pretty ladies." "Y-you'll get us all killed!" the man hisses desperately. Angery alligators get more angery. "There you go Junior" the women smirks and turns away to pour another round of drinks while you and your new "friend" eye each other. Raising to a ratio of gravity where it bounces off the floor twice. You force down another two pills and pass by the drinks. The angery gator lure is as old as plying with alligators is. Pouring all the booze in the bottles into the punch in a huge ratio. Some even become enraged! Brightly colored pills, angry alligators turns to boozy gators. The girl pokes you teasingly "Are you really afraid of a little girl?" Add fear to the arising feelings the the alligator son has against his father. Before you can reply the matchmaker steps in. Do you take another pill? ABout 15 minutes later he returns with this bounty and they both immediately start serving it out. Action:elbow drop She devours a whole bowl in one and offers you some from her spoon. A frowning old man approaches the host "you're holding pills for a rave in you're house? You really should..." Yet he was already pouncing to the girl when son kneed him to his face. The sound of lightning striking followed by a crumpling torso, nothing but a broken mind and senile body was all that is left of what it was before. Adds wounds to the jaw of the gator. "Thank you." The daughter responds quickly before gulping another whole bowl. "Have some more!" she adds. Reaction: All the men immediately lower their heads in their plate while the girl burps loudly. The father reels backward "Son, have you done this before?" He says warnly. "Why yes daddy and many times, every since..." he gulps nervously under his eyes. Increases the negtive emotion acciated with the alligator Angery alligators get more angery. The girl laughs "There they are!" She points to the silowouytes approaching from afar. Add booze, Bitter, Collaide stuff. Doesn't look like the hosts been acting normal so far, a family reunion turns sour. After your deed was done the father approached again "Well, did you do it? The guests are arriving?" He nervously asked. He strikes you in the face with the light tube. "Yes!" Some even become enraged! The girl covers her face with her palms "I told you not to drink them" she complains. The lights go back on, the guests cheer as if nothing happened while your vision is still blurred and your ears ring. Pouring all the booze in the bottles into the punch in a huge ratio. You approach hesitantly holding tightly to your crucifix fearing what might come but ignoring it for the mission. Send it all this commands -- back comes a successful story or not. Combined all the factors of 845:923 into one. Did your brain accept the strange connection between all these years and events you were involved into? It seems like only yesterday when Junior gave you a wink, darn it feels like yesterday but is it really, has it only been 10 ago since he gave you that odd wink in the park? You should have used more hints in this text, now some readers will think this is an abusive fanfic... You control this one moment in time, exactly you can't, countless possibilities branched out in an instant as soon as you stepped into the Gregorian mansion but right now it's all about your next choice: discard or accept the pill offered by... What kind of dull party is this? Whose dose of cyanide can't be detected after they've been drinking alcohol anyhow? Or is it all a trick as his nervous finger fiddling with a remote hints? This one moment you created alot of back story for your OC... Feed back a story of how you wrestled a gator and won for add a little But hey! thats still a happy end as you marry with her... isn't this? Washing machine much? or did you want to imply they drowned doing unspeakable things in there together? Fake left for real, when folks think about suicide. Random chars used for coding; also imply a action without any describing words e.g jumping off a building just from the number 5 and a jump icon A girl at a snow white costume party cries that she did not expect to slaughter 8 people with one bullet to get this prize? tell your daughter not to cry when you finish reading this... Just repeat the title of "One Year Later" several times, works wonders! Fake right to meant a real right and delve into darkness with the Uncle Jump higher and obey your master is what it implies Not very funny unlike other books in this list! pick up a copy of Bored of the Rings or Where the Red Fern Grows for some real gut busters! Jump lower and eliminate the shadow follower who is blocking the way forward with your indispensable firearm. Don't you think every Psyho needs at least 300 words to express her powers? And their charisma is so low that nobody likes them in return let alone love them! this sentence implies some other party members die in the meantime and everything goes fine for our beautiful loner... Fracture the jaw! further instructions would be too gruesome to be printed in public Don't you hate it when your dad is a drug lord and your mom wears sunglasses indoors? Couldn't make out if she escaped or if the government cut off all exit points. Guess both cane into play during a rebellion. Remove teeth, break neck, gouge eyes all these details to chilling for bedtime reading huh? the proof reader should have red flagged these! First destract target A with a candy bar then strangulate target B to death with a silk scarf once they approach, pretty easy for the stealthy characters Has some avoidable absurtities due to poor grammer (didn't bother redflagging these ones) e.g: instead of eating the guard you rob him (red flag!) or instead of slowely opening the lock you brose it (red flag!) or the door can ward off attacks ( red flag! The block his blind jab and distract him with a sarcastic remark, what a fool he falls for it everytime! This implies the soldier in her is awoken and she obeys orders. So pushing her into battlefield without any armory might not be the best idea. Giving her an anti-tank rifle might change the tide, it's up to your decision how you want to handle this. Counter will cross to left cheek first and then right cheek for a full house, bare knuckle boxing is not as foolproof as it seems! Second part of character description, word count: 448 Life before game started description: 896 Part 1 conclusion: Your journey was shorter than expected but its thrilling prelude will live in your memory for as long as you can remember and relive the thrill of victory in your mind whenever you want. Discombulate your brain and start reliving those moments whenever feel like, we sure will. All these descriptions are incomplete and I'm yet to polish as my time is limited but I'll add more details soon! I sugest you cherry pick the most thrilling bits out of all three parts and combine them into your greatest masterpiece so far! More exciting than , more hilarious than Bored of the rings! Gator will attempt wild haymaker, duck under and wants to latch on from underneath, hit him hard but not too hard or knock his tooth out if you intend to keep him alive Finally your Psyho will take the anti-tank rifle up and lay siege upon the rest of the sorry soldiers before putting an end to the berserk raving shadow leader you discovered was driven mad by wicked spirits! Looking forward to your next masterpiece which will definitely become the bestseller among all other SB games ever! Employ elbow block and body shot, they will keep him at bay for a while as he will not expect blows from those angles Start taking notes, you may need some of this information to overcome future obstacles! First thing first: 1.6 million people went into metropolis. 800 came out alive and only 36 of those turned out to be humans, according to your math that's 85% casualties and 91.6% dead bodies of infected. Block feral left hook then crosscounter his right, he misses his punch and you make him eat double yourmight, Be ready to dive if he tries to retaliate with his other hand If anyone of you contests this fact with any records from before the incident then let us refer to the only source of truths that remained untouched through this ordeal: Video footage. Weak right jaw of his can be exploited for easy knockout Part 2 prelude. Count of words: 233 550 meters to city center, this will be your Siberia, Kowloon walloffs of tomorrow, quarantine of the living dead. The most vile torture ever reserved for unfortunate souls consigned to this place for their past crimes and your future fall guys. Still a large appeal surrounding this place, fools. Now fracture his left leg and we can advance towards city center. HQ has complete access to enemy intelligence so we don't even need to send a scout just get in there and kill. We were 24 hours too late to stop them, our mission is clear now: exterminate. Wipe out all infected and anyone who harbored them! They're inside you for 24 hours now so grab any of them, the more infected or carriers the better, it's feeding time! Break cracked ribs with right and make follow up with hammerfist to sternum Light thick blood cough In case you missed it, A: I, D-Caf, D. Caffrey ceases to be a mere mortal and ascends to the status of heavy legendary living legend! And to think some people think video games rot your brain, wannabe! "Do you know how many infected are in there?" "Mhmm fifty or so,"Lieutenant says How many? Tramatise the solar plexus repeatedly for maximum disabling effect as the liver is just beneath it, repeat this at dizzying speeds until all unconcious Haha too fast for you?"looking up as your own shadow standing over you"Before you can blink he took your lighter,move your hand too fast and lose it. Carriers of the plague (the virus stops spreading in a couple weeks and they reanimate) You often can't tell them from the infected so treat every like they're one or get bitten. Dislocate jaw entirely to prevent ingestion, they can still smell you after all Question: How does one tell which is stronger between steel rope and the neck of a 10 feet tall fast monster? Eyelid pull to access inner nerves fornyower technique lacerate inward elbow joint to heavily woundify forearm musculature Humanity is dead, it was a lot of fun, are you ready for your secrets my disciples of brutality? feeling peppy today so let's give you 100. Heel kick to diaphram while using the other to climb and hold rope, sheer weight pressure for lapidation or just continue with knee trashing A weakness in all Christ... oops wrong script, yes a weakness in all monsters is their sensory organs,their eyes, nose and ears. Take your pick impaling thrown object through temple Maybe you can grow to like this place-- after killing everyone of course Hey hold on this guy has 0. In summary: Decapitate, pummel solar plexus, blinding specific targets, destroying ears, slicing eardrums and then pulling the ear off. Majority of time Combat focuses on generally beating down one or two large threats with everyone else available as effort loads for the big guns. If they run out of things to do then they should at that point start picking off smaller threats and serving as support for the main fighters. Hears ringing? poke your finger into the ear repeatedly Hm, that was given and inch and took a mile, still good enough. Remember this for next time. Never give anything away for free and never repeat a cheap trick too many times or some one may eventually figure out how to counter it Pulling outwards on jawline from underneath combined with upwards pushing motion towards neck snap. Jaw fractured? rotating clockwise motion with hands on either side followed by forward quickly push Possibly a killing blow to the neck, regardless fatal if target is large enough like anET. Three ribs cracked at minimum,painful and weak point hit for later finishing with other techniques. Most effective when used rapid succession Gallstone status gland on frontal skull status makes for reliable aiming point to smack forward with force Tricky technique to aim but fun to ply and probably wouldn't work on awardless humans anyway, nice to show off though, standing 10 feet away he should see it coming "It's in the game!" Location of blow is. Four broken fingers on a creature trying to hold things is bad enough, four broken fingers on a monster trying to crush and grab is even worse Strikes zone with resulting dwarven tantrum,automatic KO if it connects for enough time to deliver results Two hands attached to giant flail of arms and swinging uncontrolled is quite the weapon technique. Diaphram hemorriaing out of it's predoidently Red coloring is the signal to up the tempo. Shattering something is always a plus in my book, also puts then into an uncontrolled state of panic which is good for us. Very quick heavy knee upwards into temple after shifting balance and superior positioning mid fight. reminds me of the old surfboarding game where you had to wipe out your opponent before they got back up. Good way to break some neck if your fast and have good wrist control. Physcail recovery from lever tugging and jolting of neck muscles If you know any better knock him out then fill the pockets with little berrels. If he figures out after he will be mad for a few seconds, if not he will be angry when he wakes up, either way we are gone by then and his stomach won't be so good for few days Wiggle Wiggle Pull! Six weeks??? I hope this man has some opiates we can loot for the road I can show many interesting things given time. Combined grappling situation with submissive hold breaking bones and prying body open via miney PARTS! Soft live organs and hard dead bones make the best clacking melody against the inside of a skull when one punches them repeatedly as hard as possibly can. Time to put theory into practice again. Full physcoligical recovery six months to year depending on how much physcoligical energy one has at time as well under feeding and psychological torcher during training. Capicity to spit at back of head neturalized via bitting tongue and grabbing it between forefinger and midiclute Spraying throat contents, stomach acid included, into some ones eyes is a quick way to get them to stop doing whatever it is they are trying to do to you as long they dont know where is coming from. Five seconds of shock and awe. Step one: get on the alligators back. Step two: plunge dagger into wieldy place to make him flounder around in agony, incapacitating him long enough for you both to drown. Time will tell if this creature has as much fight in him as I expect it too. This is probally the most dangerous part of wrestling an alligator one on one in the water, and that mearly because if he happens ot be the stronger swimmer of the two of you. Never attmp to jump an alligator from the side or from the front and never ever let him grab you with his mouth, keep these two rules in mind and you'll do fine. I'll need 50 feet of rope that won't burn if I soak it with lantern oil and toss it at its nose. The napsack is popular among military saggage carriers. Doing so is the best way to get biten. The muscles that control the eye are not used to moving independently which is why when you make a massive face intmatic movement like sticking out your tounge or closing your eyes as far as possible it looks like the person is fully focused on you, or rather what you are doing to them. Don't think, just do it. The correct term is emotional masochist. You need to get the alligator behind you in a full nelson. Unless you are from a country that does a lot of sulfur bathing you probably haven't smelled the rotten egg gas it emits from it's behind. If he gets you in that position, well, you'll let me know if the experience was good or bad. Now begin! If possible set up a distraction to the alligator has trouble focusing on you, then make a sudden quick movement to his weak spot. Sounds easy for you and hard for the alligiator but alligatoins are much faster than you think and you'll be starting with no adavntage or positioning. All they'll feel is a slight breeze as you fly towards his mouth and your torso is instantly shredded. If not possible using a cloth like a flag or large dirty rag on a pole make as much noise as possible and grab his attention while driving him backwards trying to maneuver him into the fence post or tree behind him. Then once he's plastered on either one of those use your bodyweight to fall down and around him in a bridge to get both his arms pinned and drive your legs down for him not being able to push back up. Throw on top of the gators head A blind gator is much slower to react and is most likely to go in the direction of whatever panicked him in the first place, giving you more than enough time to hop off. True masters of the pressure point fighting artists have been known to kill large wild animals using no more energy than it would to simply sit on a chair. Instead of wrapping your arms around its mouth, try putting your arm straight out and pushing against its mouth with the heel of your palm. The fear meter is a measure of how likely an alligator is to panic based on sight, smell, or sound. Some alligators are more afraid of people than others and some will never show fear even if you are carrying spicy food. These alligators and the infamously relaxed Lil' Lenok aside from the rare exceptional one tend to have very predictable escape routes once they reach land. Run screen right and stop in the tall grass. GreenWilde Posts : 4123 Hail Moments : 98 Karma : 19 Psybucks : 3360 Join Date: March 1, 2006 Location: Sheffield, England Age: 28 Skulls: Numerous Horse Picture Dude? Yes. It's a coincidence earns you no points nor awesomeness. Millionaire playboy philanthropist is more like it. Platformer ReaperMech Great White Shark Cynical Unwavering Main Settler of Argals Unrivaled code hacker Paranoid lover How far away from the animal do you wish to begin your leap in order to ensure you make it? 3 meters Easier said than done it seems. This creature has the turning radius of a main battle tank and maintaining a safe distance is near impossible. Swinging in you have even less time to react and even if you could your mass vastly out weights the lifting strength alligators are know for. Half starving or not this alligator's reflexes were sharp enough to catch you off gaurd in midair and you're sent flying. 4 meters GreenWilde We're not as dumb as we look! Posts : 4123 Hail Moments : 98 Karma : 19 Psybucks : 3360 Join Date: March 1, 2006 Location: Sheffield, England Age: 28 Skulls: Numerous Horse Picture Dude? Yes. It's a coincidence earned you no points nor awesomeness. Millionaire playboy philanthropist is more like it. Reap- er.... 4.5 meters- WHY SO FAR!?! Swinging in you have even less time to react and even if you could your mass vastly out weights the lifting strength alligators are know for. You are being flung directly towards the gators head, it has a worse eyeing you than the small dog had at the start of this debacle and it seems just as likely to be able to predict your every movement. Aim screen right. You have no idea where you'll reach but the grass up ahead looks thick enough to stop you going straight into the drink which stands between you and solid ground. GreenWilde We're not as dumb as we look! So those feet are what's making those distinctive tracks around my territory then.? Good, good.... Still if its eating habits are as predictable as it seems to be then I probably won't even have to waste much ammunition until it charges at me. You have ten frames of animation before you reach the ground and the alligator slowly swims out of your way. This gator won't be so lucky or rather it'll be very lucky but not for long. like this frame here? 3 meters to the far side of it then swinging directly like this? Yin-Yang? Each frame is a camera shake view of running toward the alligator which is in wire frame mode, above the green legs is your own path. This is followed by five frames of you actually making contact and the sound though this causes the alligator to snap its head round to face you properly it does not lunge. The "lunge" anims are on a seperate list to the other attack ones for just such an occasion and seeing as the alligator is now right in front of you and beginning to snap its massive jaws it seems appropriate. You must attempt to keep this line that runs down the alligators back straight. Meaning you are close enough that the gator could reach you or far enough away that it cannot. The alligator has a long lower jaw but its mouth is very wide indeed so you picking it off from afar has no hope of working. There are three movements that trigger the lunge. You must ajust the angle of the head without moving either your position or the alligator's and not interrupt the flowing sequence of frames. This isn't a panic button but it's very close and the Gator has only lunged when physically trying out this section before so you're sure that this is a genuine alternative to being eaten. So what does aiming at the top of the alligators head do? You take a guess and switch your view just as it snaps towards you. Misses are culamitive. If you miss it by an inch it will adjust by one, if you miss by a foot it will adjust by ten and so on. Must keep your eye on the ball and not be sloppy, infinitely many lives but never enough to give up. You inhale then exhale as the display reads "Starting Frame" You wish to get a zero percent miss rate on this title and to do so you will have to go for it even if you felt like chickening out but you don't get far into that thought process when the screen wipes to "First Animation Frame". The position of your arm relative to the jaw is very important as it helps dictate the angle for your second shot which it will snap towards automatically. You must place it between the front two teeth but this comes at a price. It costs one life. Rolling the finger left of right changes the angle of the straight line you are drawing. For the first time ever you are glad that the title runs at a silky smooth 60fps as any more would have just made this process harder. For a final challenge you must press down on the sixth frame or it will your thumb as a target. Hardly matters with the speed of this creature. There's a sound effect for every successful frame and once your down to two possible flailing snapping bites then the screen wipes to "Lunge Start 1" The straight the line the less chance of gitting bite right off the bat The words randomly change places but the general premise of the text wall stays the same. Due to frame effects, 1000 lives and whether or not you shot too early or too late on your second wrist angle adjustment will all play into your success rate as will basic skill but these are all minor overall. So first you need to master this part. Whether or not any of it "counts" Stay low-go high-you feel like your finger is snapping in half as you slam it down on the only even number left on the keyboard 7. That might taste good with some BBQ sauce and a nice cold beer. Just ignore the fact that your inwardly scared out of your mind as the words "LUNGESTART2 MISS" flash up on the screen in bright red. Which, to be honest, doesn't inspire too much confidence for contunuing this split path to a desired completion. Extend hands loosely extend hands firmly With in a second select a spot on the neck to focus upon-down once more. You chuck your hands up and run around in circles laughing as the words"LUNGESTART3 COMPLETE" paint themselves across the screen followed by a barrage of flashing images of all the people who worked on this title and what you assume are their names. A loud track starts as shows a Mötley Crüe logo bouncing around the screen leading to an immediate start of a new part of the game. Touch the big dot and hold and try to keep you figer on the dot as long as possible while it spins very quickly and moves all over the screen Slowly fade out towards the end to give a bopping sensation The images subside to reveal a start screen showing exactly one option..."Voyage Beyond The Bright Lights". A far out spacy trip through coloropia with trippy music. You know what those are-those flash films made up by stoned film students completely ripped on something and played at about 5000 frames per second. Imagine a straight line donw the alligators head and back and tail if possible. Unlike most other text adventures you are free to "browse" through the opening screen without engaging in the first act, or finishing the game. All you can currently do is engage back into the main adventure, look at your high scores, see how long it took to beat your best friend who also bought this game, or look at a small range of paltry but hilarious hidden images. Get a running start down that line and keep low you don't want to beork the ankles Approach the handwalk that overlooks the falls and scan the surrounding area before ducking under. MeoW an annoying tape player testing out loud Mews recitation of many things. Although most things seem out of place half the time you can just see sunsets, rainbows, hikes through wooded areas, etc...Everything that your inner child thought was "cool" is here. Leap forward with hands extended sealing up the air and the jug with both hands like a champion bringing home the win. The words "VERTICAL DASH" beam from the screen in bold as a mildly humming sound emits from the speakers. Getting a quick drink reveals more of the same as you duck below to read more on this first of three adventures-vampire/teen girl hybrid titles. Oooooooooh! The hands need to land on the alligator's neck to make him tap out or he will snap your arm off with one quick jerk of his head. The score for vertical dash, ultra man challenge thing whatever equals to...wait what does this even mean? Right as you reach the final screen a glitched swirl melts across the screen flinging your vision into an unseen dimension. Whispers come from behind the characters and what feels like black wax drips from the sides of the new made slots on your screen. Between the back of the jaws and the front two legs of the alligator lies something man shaped. Even its eyes seem to point "out" making it look fetal while a force field engulfs inner portions of its body. You stand directly behind the Alligator now as your vision begins to warp. The room decreases in size greatly, although the proportions are all intact-and you even notice how they were there to begin with. Somehow you knew this game was going to be a little too real. When you land on the animal push down with all your might on the neck to force the head to the ground Force the head down by pinning the head to the ground the jaws cant open upwards to bite your arm off at the most interesting part Thanks to your tiny player character and even tinier opponents you can see that although the things are large compared to you-in reality they cant be more than 12-16 inches from snout to tail tip. Molded fluffy white fur gives them a soft appearance, But when you see their teeth-allidea of them being "cuddly" is gone in an instant. They look like demons. Move to the shoulders of the beast and stay high on its back to avoid the snapping of its mouth Even with the last dog vinegar brew still dripping off your frame you cant help but picture yourself being flea sprayed again in your head. Staying high is now a must, just hope the soda in the container doesn't start leaking anytime soon... One thing is certain-These dogs are fighting for keeps and one mistake could be it for you. Just remember their weaknesses and keep your distance if at all possible. Knees should touch th ground when attacking the neck to add extra downward push on the alligator. To avoid its tail, make sure to keep your body perpendicular to its midsection at all times. To avoid its snap, stay high and far once you make your first move. Squeeze the alligator's flanks to keep its mouth sealed and hold it in place while your comrades attack If you have extrarepreneurial spirits you could try sell these dead rodents at a higher prize to your friends. They make for good keep sakes or party tricks-but the strange names and symbols on their coats might make them hard to offload. Speaking of symbols, for some reason you think you saw one somewhere in this lab but cant seem to place it. The lower part of your legs should be pinning the hind legs to keep the feet from touching the ground and prevent the alligator from moving. with your fellow riders on top slashing at open wounds, it should be less then thirty seconds before the gator surrenders Once again, cutting through the pack is only going to get you KIA'd so make sure to single out the weakest link and take it down separately. remember their weaknesses for future reference. If the rear legs touch the ground the gaot can go into a death roll and turn you and anyone else attached inside out so make sure to keep them pinned and helpless. And I cant stress this enough-Stay. Away. From. The. Tail! Also take special care when climbing atop the beast that you avoid getting any body parts caught in between its growing scales. You have lost control when the animal does this, the safest place is under the belly and on the side--but even these places are dangerous. You can only hope Mr Parker has you fitted with a good, strong privy item for this journey You suppose you now have your answer-The creatures can be killed, But its not going to be easy by any means. One full sweep around destroying everything in its path and your hardwork could be for nothing. Once on the gator firmly you have to gain control of the mouth immediately by prying it open with your hands. Thinner legs near the body are weaker and easier to cut but you should direct your blows to the sturdier moving limbs at the side--you dont want to lose your balance and fall off afterall It would be wise to use any extra manpower to speed up the process before the pack grows wise to your presence. Keep both hands firmly on the alligators neck pressing down with most your wieght so that only one arm is left to swing. Stay on the sides of the beast for extra support and protection, keeping your face away from the snapping mouth and those frightfully penetrating eyes. Their is a percentage chat -- click the down arrow to increase weight until it is a full one hundred percent. Hm. Must be new. So it does indeed seem as though the locals are getting organized enough to not only put up a fight, but even drive out those that would claim this waste land as their own. But SDC is more than a match for a few oversized rats and a dying world never was their best option anyway, looks like you might have to return here soon. It is a precentage of strength you want to use in each location to most quickly bring down the enemy. Use the slider to set your percentage or type in a number, from 1 to 100. Mindful of Achilles strike with the knife you remove your pistol from its resting place and step towards the muffled voices ahead checking every corner as you do so, how did they get so far ahead of you without you noticing? The calls are getting more frequent and anxious now and Listening closer it seems there are two separate voices, one female; one male. Keeping the back legs up is going to tire you out quickly so it would be best if you could dispatch the gator quickly and reach the pair before all three of you wind up dead. Choose the body part you want to target, select it by clicking on it or Choose 'Random' to have the comuter pick for you. Click Here To Show/Hide This Content URL to redirect to content URL URL URL Content Access denied. You do not have permission to access pages within this domain. Keeping the head down is going to tire you out a lot quickly, but it does boast the best protection. Choose the body part you want to protect, select it by clicking on it or choose 'Random' for the computer to pick for you. Rotate you dominate hand forward to protect index finger, rotate other hand forward to protect ring finger. Move your microscope out of the way first and then your desk drawer. There is a slight shuffling noise heard before they are gone entirely and you have to trust that they know this place as well as you do because it will be impossible to track them. Remain in contact with the gator or you could find yourself miles and miles away, a lost pod of orca in the Atlantic ocean. The cold around you intensifies over the next few hours. You try to hold on, but you are thrown about wildly as you begin speeding along the ice. You extend one hand out desperately for something, anything to grab onto but there is nothing. Keep your strength on his side of the sphere and you can retain a shred of control Let your fingers feet the tile floor and they might just get a grip in time ... Who are you? Why have you come here? Is something wrong? Keep releasing and the orca will soon begin to slip away, holding on as tight as you can could damage their ability to communicate for some time to come. Where is this place? Is it the best way to communicate with other species? Stay in contact with the gator or you could find yourself moved into a different area of your world, a question directed at the wrong species could spell disaster. The hair along the back of your neck stands on end and deep in the darkness behind you either something is moving or something unutterably huge is staring at you hungrily while its breath reverberates through your mind. Contact is a percentage as well as a distance.Stay in contact whenever possible or you will isolate the pair of them and correspond to no-one.Misunderstandings and malapropisms could be filtered out jointly if all three of you stay in contact with each other whenever possible. Tiny hairs on the back of your neck prickle into life as the frozen world surrounding you brushes past, it would love to have you along with it as it slides slowly towards the waiting maw of a hungry gator. Its a number that calculate the amount of skin acutally touching the alligator at any time.Lower it and you isolate one pair or the othes from each other.Contact them all to create a joint memorial for this event so that everyone remembers what happened, even if they don't hold the remotest clue as to why it did. The gator is poorly insulated as reptiles tend to be so lowering its temp won't take much, staying in contact will keep you warm enouhg to not matter. Slide you hand forward down the middle of the gators head and back, this creates a rich blood flow through the large capillaries over the brain and keeps the gator barely conscious while you complete your work. A constant torrent of noise rushes around you as the ice calve away from the shore and is pulled out to sea by a camp in some hurry to get away. presumably some of your friends have taken it upon themselves to scare everyone off for their own safety. Cover both eyes with your hand and you will be jet blackness once again, your arm will lose all sensation within thirty seconds as the blood drains from it but you will have no choice other than to leave it there until contact is broken with one of the gator's eyes. What side effects may happen as a result once contact is broken? Falling into an abyss of agonizing pain? Losing part of your intelligence in a moment of inexplicable stupidity? There must be something...oh wait, only the gator suffers in any way, shape or form. Nice. Go for it! The prompt coaxes. You stretch your arm out until your hand rests on the upper eyelid and simply leave it there without moving. You can feel your body temperature dropping and a tingling numbness spreads out from your fingertips but no unbearable pain comes for you. Blinding the animal temporary to give your self an advatnage in the fights to come, the inner nudge suggests. Raising an eyebrow you slip off your backpack and remove your satchel as well as a large belt knife. You sit down beside the gator and lean back to observe it for a few moments, chattering your teeth together and scrunching your eyes closed every now and then to pretend you're feeling cold. Blind percent of the gator compared to your human form. Two pairs of eyes are better than one, the main game screen declares as the prompt once again appears. How so? TAKE A GUESS! Somehow the game screen has repalced all its other cheery and helpful messages with pure snarky frustration and you can't help but a smirk appear on your face. Upon noticing your delayed reaction the prompt quickly changes to !!! Press down on the eyes with more strenght than your bone-sawing assault on the jaw and you should be able to pop off the upper orbs cleanly. With a barely suppressed snort you lean forward and push your fingers against both eyes as hard as you can, expecting them to give a little or even pop, but they stay fixed in place. Pin the head to the ground to prevent the jaws from opening and try again: this time keeping force steady to prevent the gator from moving its snout. You grab the upper jaw of the gator and lean into it, trying as hard as you can to move it while wedged between your legs and the slick mud of the shore. Slide your other hand forward and run it along the bottom jaw line of the gator, and then bring both hands back to pin them in place while pressing into the eyes once again. Strangely enough this time you feel a small 'click' and then a more audible one a moment later. You give it one last shove forward with all your might and the gator's eye pops out of its socket as you tumble backwards with the momentum. Look for soft skin around bone where u can easily slice through with your knife while its jaws are helplessly stuck open. Staying on the muddy shore you bring the knife to your eye and run it back and forth along the line between its hard upper jaw and the soft under. There is very little agility needed for this task as cleaver gator jaws lay underneath so all that's left to do is work through the scales and bore a hole. Place fingers under the jaw as if to pick it up and swing. With a flick of your wrist the gator's jaw flies open with ease as you send the flat bone plate flying in the air. In a whirlwind you draw your arm back again and punch forward once more, finishing the job with a firm crack as the left jaw breaks free from its hinges. Move palm and thumb to the top of the windpipe, press down and twist to finish off the gator as it gasps for air. POP! Did you fall asleep while reading this or something? Grip firmly around the neck as it flails in the air and end its suffering with a curved blade specialized in slicing through the windpipe of stingrays. Nightmare! Get out while you're still alive, the game screen hints at you in red. Allright he is moving a little to fast for you to easily punch out so start the old fake reflex test: act like there's a bee going around his face and see if he flinches. You lean in close and run a finger across his face, quickly drawing it back and then pointing back at his face as if to say "did you see that?" The man has long johns on so the closest thing to a "facial hair" The slipperyniss of the mud around you can impact the success of your catch. Endymion does not appreciate being caught with slipperyniss. Too exhausted to continue holding yourself up you soon find your free time taken by the blackness of sleep and nightmares. There are several moments where you wish not for wakefulness but easy death among dreams, the start of a sweet slumber, or even a burning hellfire to escape this reality as you have longed many nights since Ben's death. But this is the real horror. All of an alligators jaw power is on the down stroke. Even if you dodge it there is no time to escape the block. The knife drops from your pathetic grip, failing its catch as even your instincts give up on your own clumsiness. The heavy flint knife hits your temple and bounces off into the shadowy darkness. Your skull cracks as it slams against the half rotten stump you were perched on. The have almost no muscle power when it comes to opening the jaws but fortunately his massive head is combined with a heavy jaw that is still strong enough to bite down on the knife while you pull. Your knee never leaves the gator's stomach as you bear all your weight down on one side of the knife. A few good tugs and the knife snaps, leaving you both in rough shape but at least victorious over this foul beast. The rest of your night was continued escapade after escapade. You could hold it shut with one hand- that doesnt mean you should hold it shut with one hand Both hands should now be holding the mouth shut as the hands of an albino primate using you as a punching bag The skin begins peeling back from its twisting and gruesome face as your palms are flayed by the rows of teeth tugging against its deadly mouth. "Hurting me isn't going to help anything, child." You speak in an act of naunity hoold quite the wise one. Bite down hard, ending its life with rolling jerks of its neck. Lift the alligators head off the ground and toward your chest to apply even more biting pressure to the wound. Both hands, the gator takes both hands Your fingers rub against one another as you glove your right hand with the remains of the knifes handle. Pushing even harder against the mud, standing now in the stream your thighs struggle to keep grinding it into the animal's head. Once the head is at a ninety degree angle the gator can no longer fight back against you. With the gator's mouth pinned closed and your fist inside its mouth it no longer has any biting dice. You are able because of such frenzy to maintain a perfect pin. The pitiable excuses for arms just hang from his body as the alligator slowly suffocates to death. He cant even slide his head out from under your right arm due to your body bending around it in a perfect lock. Congratualtions you have wrestled the alligator into submission. Bathe in his defeated eyes for a moment. Well We hope this helped! Getting off the gator you step toward it, trying to get a looksie at its stomach so you can carve the knife in deeper, before noticing one of its eyes rapidly blink. Though your fist was covered in enough saliva and blood to mask the shape of your hand, it could obviously tell your fist from fingers. Push the gators head back to the ground and punch its remaining eye into jelly. What wretched lives these animals live, first its eye gets stabbed by some autistic child, then it drowns in pitiful revenge. If there was any justice in this world it would have jumped you before you could stab it and had actually escaped. Slide the dominant hand back into a position to cover the eyes again. Covering the eye that's not stabbed with fingers you stab and twist. Watching it shudder in pain, you feel an intense pleasure go through your numb arm. Thrashing around, the alligator doesn't notice where your fingers are and almost snaps them off. You pull back only to see blood spew out of its face as a dumb smile pumps through your body. Pushing down with the domainate hand slide your other hand back along the jaw until it is pressing against the neck as your other hand follows up from under the snout. You are so close to its mouth that you can feel warm sticky salvia pasting your once clean arm. This isn't just power, this is god damned ascension. Covering the wounds left behind by the knifes handle, your fingers rub together in preparation of a plunge into absolute domination. Slide your dominat=jnt hand back from the eyes to the neck incase the alligator tries to snap. Hesistant to do any remorseful actions, your dominate hand slips back into place. Bringing your subordinate hand from under the snout to over the eyes, knowing full well it won't bit, twist your wrists around one another and plunge your fingers into its eyesockets. Such sanctuary, such mercy you've only ever seen god provide to his faithful survivors. You should be in the same position you where in when you started to battle this beast of a victor, sitting upon its torso but it doesn't have a torso anymore, just two flappy pieces of meat entwined with eachother and a head. Though the vengeance over your parents shorts has been sated you can't help but still twist your hands around in the hollow sockets. Get your knees of the ground and get your feet under you. Har har har that's a good one, get my feet under me on what? The alligators now lay in little more than a lump of meat. Check place for your machete. Your machete fails to turn up under any piece of flesh or skin, in fact the bloody red ink has mixed so much with its surrounding colour that its effectively invisible to the naked eye. Hop to your feet and take a look at your surroundings... You are squatting on the gators back, deciding now would be a good time to get off the things back. How did you get here? When (and more importantly why) did you get here? Looking around you realize you are surrounded by bits of flesh, organ, and other bodily fluids that all seem to share one similarity, namely that they belong to youralligator from before. Keep legs tight against the body as you slide off the back. You tumble and slam into the mushy earth which is now coated in gator blood (and also your own). You land on your feet but the force of your landings twist your ankle and you end up tumbling back first onto the mushy ground. Getting back up you reassess the situation. Check self for injuries. Much more difficult for the alligator to bite you when you are on its back then when you are on its side, though not impossible. You got lucky. Still it's difficult to move around with all those spiny scales digging into your flesh everywhere, even through your clothes. You need to get yourself professional help for this mess and quickly. ---- THE NEXT DAY... You sit on the porch watching lambchops frolic in the field nearby. When the animal struggles push it down again, it will soon recover and come back again, but for now, it's content to graze. small tentative hops toward freedom arelambchopsObwserver You walk inside. bloodgoodObserver tell self stay strongAMSELECTHE ---- You take a nice long look at the road ahead as you sit on the porch... Specks of dust dance in the beams of sunlight peeking between the clouds above. Dont let the animal stuggle free just yet The clouds above drift silently without any indication of rain or shine, the same serene pattern they took up yesterday and will take up tomorrow. No wind sprints across the plain to signal anything out of the ordinary occurred here recently. Maybe an ant was scrambling up a nearby leaf moments earlier but it has already disappeared from sight now. NOBODYSSECRETS "It's a beautiful day" "Beautiful," you agree. Grip around the neck, aim at back of head, squeeze TRIGGER The last remnants of the future drift soundlessly above you. PRESSENT ---- You look around and take a good long look at the road ahead as you sit on the porch... A hazy sheen of sweat glimmers atop the flattened wheat in the fields nearby with Hearts dancing playfully around it. You're on top of the world. In one complete motion throw the alligator as far forward as you can whild you jump backwards off the tail The bloodthirsty beast arcs end over end through the air and lands with a hollow thud in the soft grass ahead. Pressing nto the ground it slid at least ten feet before stopping. Depending on the size of the gator you may not be able to throw it very far. ALLIGATORS Some gators are content to lie in the sun and do nothing much of the time, but not this brute. The second it landed it was flashing its teeth and hissing menacingly at you. Slowly and systematically you walk toward the gator as it shifts backward between snaps and hisses. Thats ok if it wants to move back that's Running now Running backward for gator is moving self in same direction as intended flight The longer this takes the more exhausted the both of you are going to get so you pick up the pace and walk briskly towards it, forcing it back even faster. IT is soon backed up against a tree and strikes out at you once and then twice when you continue to close the gap between you. Six inches may be all you need to throw it forward or backward to change its trajectory so its important to stay focused right up until the last second... BADONKADONK BADONKADONKA BONK BOINK BonkA LONG WAY AWAY You give it just a little kick for encouragement and once again it skips further than expected. At this rate you aren't going to be able to stop it. This puts it off balance and give you more time to escape so that's what you do, running backward while it pauses every few feet to strike a defensive posture then lunges toward you. JUMP JUMP JUMP You quickly judge the distance between you and toppling the gator and end up taking a step back when you realize the angle is still working in its favor so you can either run or try to push it over. Jump back as far as you can. And keep moving backward Keep running. Remember you can't turn your back on an alligator, no matter what. The gator will likely turn open its mout at you snarl or hiss. At this range it'll take an effort for you to even get a part of it in your mouth, but the closer you are, the less work you'll have to do. better lock your sights on that tail though. The gator snaps its jaws and the noise briefly startles you before it drifts off again. It needs to get louder before you can feel comfortable completely turning your back on it. Let it snap one more time and follow the sound of its jaw snapping shut with a careful step to its rear, afterall if it's about to snap at you its mouth is going to be open at just about the right level... Lubrication be damned you're running out of pressure. Give the gator a firm push with the side of your head like it was a door that ought to do it, but watch out for those chompers. Sprint forward. Keep your eyes on it and slowly back away, but stay focused and ready to counte4r. Sprint forward and leap right over top of it for the sweet rite um tackle. Keep your eyes on it and carefully approach until you hear a pause in its growling. swing your foot outward from hip to toe in a sweeping motion. Kick it right in the snout while you continue to watch for snapping jaws. If the gator chases you run away directly from it in a straight line while looking over your shoulder occasionally to see if its still following, make a lot of noise to warn it away and get out of the heat and into the safety of something before you actually have to deal with it grabbing or biting you. Or as a last resort, climb a tree. Especially in an area where there aren't many shorter trees with low-hanging branches. It will grow tired quickly and find water to return too eventually. I like the tree idea so I'm gonna go with that. (The alligator idea was probably dumb anyway right? I mean cats climb trees all the time...) Worst comes to worst and it actually manages to catch me in my current condition I can jab it right in its one functional eye and pray it doesn't somehow manage to eat me before it succumbs to its injury. (probably a long shot but i'm a fast little guy, have some faith! Thats how you wrestle an alligator. You twisted my words around! I said acting crazy would scare the hungry gator away, not wrestling with it! You're lucky it was a slow one. What is it with you and animals? (and tooting your own horn)Pulling out the pencil is easy but stringing it through the belt loop and then tying a not is a pain especially since you'd rather keep your eyes on that gator and have only one free hand. I see a shillotte image of a man wrestling a gator with a rope tied around its jaws to a nearby tree... Hmm... nah that won't work I'm in a situtation different enough that the procedures are likely substantially different. He was probably an expert too. (Wait there's a knife in my back pocket, I could try copying him exactly)Okay, but I'm not sticking the knife all the way into the gator's throat, just threatening it enough that I can make him let go. All the percentage sliders need to be change right now because that gator isn't going to slink away in defeat, he is going to open up his jaws, sink those teeth in and finish me off. His buddies will eat very well tonight... YOU HEAR THAT FELLAS!? It's a good thing my insanity keeps me from understanding the odds against me. Time to mud wrestle an alligator and hope some left over office supplies are nearby.... Take a litte bit from all when slid to far one way or the other. The screen looks like the following. For the sake of not stressing myself too much, let's just focus on "distance between you and the gator". Seems like the easiest to start and given how this animal is likely to think, it should make a break for some of the others intuitively. [move to your left ][jump][ move to your right ] The alligator eyes you warily as you reach to your back to grab the knife in your pocket. It crosses it's jaws briefly but seeing as it can't quite fit the whole body through the low shelf and slimy things seem to fly off of it. The alligator struggles to get purchase on the floor but soon you're left with a creature that seems surprisingly graceful as it slithers at you. Step two: The gators head begins a snapping motion and you use the leverage of your knees (One wood, one leg, solid. Other leg? Not sure that'll hold up) to keep from falling over and do your best to hide behind the wooden shelf in front of you as you draw the butter knife! This would probably seem very comical if anyone were watching but the distorted reality makes you feel like something out of a dream... Luckily not the nightmare kind. Get control of the mouth, push the head away from yours, stab and try to avoid the tail which is noticeably more powerful than you. The pictures getting more and more vivid..... Is this thing on? Once on the gator you must get control of the mouth or the gator will be able to bite down and crush your limbs, or worse your skull. Getting leathery scales stuck to your forearms overtime while you pull towards you might hurt a bit, but not even close to getting your arm chewed off. Step three:submission Put something in your hand to represent you holding the butter knife (perhaps a crayon) and act it out physically like they do in click clack music videos. (Click here to see how they do it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NyB6dCWqiPU). Confidence is not really a strong point right now, those scales are big and nasty looking... Step four: get away safely Hmmm, better think of something quick! Time Outs don't last forever! For first graders with vivid imaginations. Paper and coloring utensils are good resources for this type of calm down club activity! Once the 2 minutes are up see how many of you can color something. The more detailed your pictures are, and the more you can imagine when looking at each others pictures. The most important part is that everyone has fun creating them! Relaxing for the win! ... Time's up! WHAT?! Once again you're surprised you released that fantasy so quickly, and you hardly had anytime to think about your drawing. Best of all? You're closer to the gator. Looks like your knife-weapon will be some sort of crayon today. It will be awkward to hold but snaps into sharp points in both ends, just the normal blunt round color on one end, spikey color on the other. ... All you can hear down here is the slithering of wet scales, somewhere in the darkness. Are they trapped too? Or are they close but silent? That's not entirely reassuring. Nor is looking over at your friends with your new found sensory powers and seeing them encased in gray capsule like things. Last time you looked they seemed to be filled to different levels, some frantic while others calm. Fear favors the deluded, boy did that hold true today. ... It's dark here. Black as the darkest night? No, more like a newly opened blank notebook. There is nothing here yet, but everything is possible. This darkness is not empty, and it loathed being colonized by you. You only really have one true option here once you get up. The wooden stage. That would be your best bet to stand on to see anything that will help you, although you'll be crippled with fear the whole time. ... You are going to try anyways though. Remember: You were put here to be the hero of this story! All you have to do is prove that they were right. ... That's why you're suddenly thrown into a existential struggle with this dark plain once you reach the stage that is just blankness. This realm is entirely mind, and you just occupied its current resident (which it obviously did not appreciate). ... But now what? Fight, or submit? You made this dark, yet here you stand. Eradicating your shadow to the nothingness that was here before you in this realm... Did that make you it's new boss? Sole master? God of darkness? Unfortunately just another denizen. Your zany nature keeps you from feeling the full weight of this dire predicament, but still, this isn't somewhere you want to be. ... It's like an eternal nighttime. You see nothing but the star-speckled blackness broken up by distant gray hills that have a luminescent purple hue, almost like acid. There are other colors here as well, blues and greens and more swirling about; although there perhaps are no actual physical items here (beside you, yourself). Perhaps it is a realm of ideas... ... Yet this is not your home. Your home is bright and happy, and surely somewhere close by...right? Oh, you're in the darkness. How silly of me! Of course you are, dear reader, we all are. It surrounds us, permeates us, it binds the very universe together as a cohesive reality. The darkness is within us all, and you are no exception, go on; admit to yourself your own dark thoughts. Do it. ... Come to think of it, why is there light at all? The bright sun, the shimmering moonlight, fireworks, electric lights, campfires, candlelight, cars and street lamps, glow sticks, lcd screens, flashlights, sunlight streaming through tall windows... How lucky we are to experience such a wide array of visual stimuli! With so many options available as to how we may view our wonderfully surreal world, why does it always revert to just two? ... Black and white. Without color, our world would be nothing more than a boring, bland place with no character or exceptional aesthetic. Just a mass of "anything" that goes on anytime, anywhere; continuing on into infinity. All real life problems and ideas would vanish without chromatic harmony, leaving us idle and unchallenged. ... It is why life is never monochrome. → You continue... ... So what is happening? It was never your intent read this far, you were trying to find the book's end! Why are you indulging in a fictional story depicting yourself in such a dangerous situation, when you could wake up from the nightmare at any moment? You must admit that these plot twists are rather fascinating, though you really should feel afraid for your life! ... Shaking your head, you laugh at the absurdity of it all. Your mind truly has gone haywire from the sleep deprivation. Something about this whole situation just doesn't feel right though, and you doubt if reality is really setting you upon a catastrophic roller coaster ride. You don't feel wind on your face from going 108 miles per hour, or hear the screams of other passengers like you would on a real thrill ride either. ... But maybe it isn't a ride at all. Maybe this is frighteningly real. You just don't know. ... Slowly opening your bleary eyes, you find yourself lying on the cold tiled floor of the bathroom. Feeling on your face reveals that it is still drying out, and you have a splitting headache to add on to everything else. Getting to your feet with heavy limbs, you glance over to the sink which has a large puddle of water with several toothbrush resting in it. Sighing deeply, it appears that part of the delusion remained even after you "awoke". ... Did you really wake up at all? None of this feels or seems real. Those books were right; reality is never what it seems to be. Moving about stiffness in your body, you make your way out of the bathroom with slow steps while you get your bearings. It's still the same hospital room, although...different. ... The entire reality has changed! The bizarre twisting and turning of the scene before your eyes confirms this is no longer anything like the reality you once knew. Gone is the dull and boring hospital room, instead replaced by the intimidating skyline of a large city. Looking down from your high vantage point, you observe buildings of random height beyond number level out into grids, with winding streets enough to get lost in. ... This doesn't feel real. ... In fact, this feels like...a video game. Confused by the very idea, you begin to rationalize what's happening around you. While you've never experienced anything remotely like this in real life, you know there are games that are so realistic they could possibly be mistaken for reality. Perhaps somehow your mind has conjured up a similar situation through delusion and wishful thinking. Figuring that this must all be some kind of game, you come to one important decision. ... ... You're going to play along. You wouldn't be surprised if a villain jumps out from around the corner, but for now the prospect of danger just makes this more interesting. There's not much else you can do anyway until you regain a clearer mind. Because really, what's the point in debating over whether this is reality or a dream when either theory fits the facts? Isn't it possible to make reality into a dream and a dream into reality? ... Scratch that. You'll just have fun with this while you can. With gaming on your mind, the first thing you do is try to find a way out of this hospital. With your new perspective, you easily avoid the nurse and swing open the door leaving the room. The hallways seem much longer than they were, but eventually they end with the arrival of an elevator. ... Such advanced technology. As you step inside and examine the digital floors indicator, a glimpse of yourself in the mirror makes you pause. You appear to be wearing a hospital gown, although it's not dirty and doesn't have any openings. It's also extremely long so that it drags on the floor, not that you really care about your appearance at this moment. What's more alarming is your hair, or rather the complete lack of it. ... And you thought the gown was bad. The blunt, closely cropped hair might not matter all that much to you right now, but you can't help feeling strange without any hair at all. How long has it been since you've seen yourself without a full head of hair? You don't really want to know. Before long, the elevator doors open up and you manage to step into the next hallway. People in various types of clothing are walking about or waiting near the nurse's stations.