#i cant find it on aff anymore

[littencloud9]

did you guys know that. domi and louis

[blu3914]

If I kms tonight it's none your fault- I love you guys.

I love you babe

Pros..no more pain- no more trauma- no more hurt- no more being hurt, lied to, used- no more emptiness- no more waiting for things to get better that keep getting worse- no more false hope- no more false promises- no more dealing with my mom or the trauma that comes with that... no more one sided love from anyone... no feeling not good enough.... no feeling useless... no disappointments tward anyone anymore... no worrying if he will leave again... no worrying if Im going to make my mom coffee in the morning and find her corpse... no more worry about ending up homeless... no more worry about ending up homeless if my mom decides to kick me out for not doing one chore a specific day... no more fear. No more worrying abt my non existant future... Im so traumatized and my epilepsy is so bad I can't really work or have the single job I want... working on cars- so don't give me the "your future" bullshit...

Cons.. a few people miss me... a few people claim they may die if I do, Ik thats false bc they have people to care for them- and Ive had so many people tell me the came thing in the past then leave me or Ive lost contact and they thought I died... then they either just moved on or thrived... none dead... it's just something said to keep me around and I know that... a con wouldn't be the pain... it would be painless... I wouldn't miss people bc Id be dead, I don't really believe in afterlife much- Ill haunt all of you(/aff)- or come back as a housecat :3

Damn... I don't see many problems here with killing myself... like seriously I don't think people can give me reasons... there isn't... people would be better off and Id be gone... running away isn't smart... trust me we've explored tht...

I cant fight anymore... Im so tired :(

[kyooongie]

YESSSS I think you're talking about for you by spacequokka, I love that one too!!! Btw when you read felon or to be replaced I'd love to hear your thoughts! Oh I feel you though, I have always disliked aff, there's something off putting about it somehow. But I'm so desperate for bbh fics and I've been through all of tumblr and ao3's stocks (I think maybe I'm doing something wrong with ao3 though and accidentally excluding too much from my searches? Because I never find that much there... But I really only filter out fics that ship/pair bbh with the exo members, because I want to be his pairing teehe, so idk) so now I guess I gotta try aff haha. Thinking about how bbh and the rest of exo don't have as much fanfics on here as they used to since they're an older group now makes me so sad

ANON I FUCKING LOVE YOU SO MUCH. OMFG. here it is. omg. i am literally asking for ur hand in marriage RIGHT NOW. it is really hard to find reader insert fics on ao3. no shade to anyone on there but yea i feel like the only good fics are member/member T__T i dont really have member ships in exo anymore (however middle school olive: massive sekai fan) so yea i pre much stick to tumblr. i really enjoy the kinds of fics that are like, real stories, which is definitely harder to find a) off ao3 and b) in what has become a smaller fandom. not exo related but i would consider "to be first, to be best" by kittebasu as one of the best fanfics of all time. im writing fics too but im taking FOREVER bc i want to emulate that style the best i can for reader insert (but that fic is so amazing that i def won't even come close). to every request i have sitting in my inbox im SORRYYYY i will not turn every single one of them into a novella i promise also. i just finished felon. and omfg. I CANT BELIEVE IT ENDS LIKE THAT... NO UPDATE IN 3 YEARS..... i literally threw my phone across the fucking room when baekhyun caught her talking to kyungsoo i freaked the FUCK out lol. and can i just say i would have folded way sooner in her position fgshjfhsjk especially if we're operating under the assumption that its written to be lotto era baekhyun like...... im not that strong..............

[bplm3]

Wait- did the author delete tfibbh????

[arabella111]

arabella,

im so unmotivated to manifest anything , i bave been 'trying' or mkstly over consuming info since may but i cant seem to sit my ass doen snd do the work..mostly bc every now an then i always have a problem that worries me firstly it was the sc thingy like how do wr manifest our desires with it? like what do i think of them? do i just affirm normally my sc affd and when i think of my desire affirm sc? which thats what i understood but its that when i think of my desire an undesired image pops up for example ill manifest hairless body but i think of it the way it is now yk? so is that ok? like can i just continue affirming normally the way i would for the desire specifically for example i think of this undesired image and just affirm the sc affs instead?

second, just the other anons i have guilt abt manifesting a lot of stuff and beauty ESPECIALLY bc if i start getting compliments after manifesting it will make me wonder was i that ugly that i didnt get compliments and i do now that i kinda changed my face ? and like i rlly wanna be naturally pretty without any need for manifestation.. and when i was younger i did get compliments but it might have been bc i was a kid but even if i was pretty i want to be like pretty pretty not just pretty yk? and now that i want to change myself is like admitting to myself that yeah ur not all that..

and u have answered bfr to other anons that they changrd their assumption thats why which yes it made me feel so much better bc its my assumptions not my fault but what if i was getting the compliments was bc i was a kid ? bc personally i dont think i was that pretty like more like average beauty and i still have this that next to others i look like im just there yk? and i dont want to be like that naturally.. and even if i am pretty why do ppl not find me attractive and some of my friends dont suplort me at some stuff considering beauty and i have wasted this insecurity trauma for nothing like i gained another trauma for no reason yk?://.. dont get my wrong i still get compliments but they are like from my mom/relatives and one friend.. and no guys and other ppl and literally anyone i

and then the other problem was that i felt disconected from reality for abt 4 years bc of depression and i was waiting for an outer source to kinda wake me up , like i felt that i was sleeping yhe whole time even ppl would tell me to wake up bc i was rhat disconnected..

and another one was that bc of my depression i didnt do shit , i wasnt talking, didnt find any interests and before that when i was young i had a life and all that and through all this depressiom process i lost myself and dont know what i like anymore and i feel like i have lost most of my teen years for nothing ( since 13 till 16 ( now ) )

i hope u understood something and it wasnf that long and tiring for u to read, bc im not that good at explaing stuff, i just want to get rid of these problems and finally do my work bc i am EXCAUSTEDDD

and thank u for the time :)

see baby, first you need to work on your sc, just assume and think you get your manifestations the moment you want them. that's it. you don't have to overcomplicate shit. your negative thoughts are not powerful enough to ruin your manifestations. you're god and you make your own rules, that's it. you don't have to feel guilty about manifesting anything. you've been manifesting your whole life. you've manifested the wanted and even the unwanted. so why not change it for the better and not feel guilty about having your desires. cus first, you already have them. second you'll just be wasting your time thinking about the guilt and it won't help you, will it? your insecurities don't possess any power unless you give them. and now that you know you can change your whole life just by thinking and persisting in that thought, then why would you become a slave to your negativity?

[snapeloveposts]

Trying to find a fanfic from years ago!! Harry and ginny are married, but very dark. Harry is a cheating prick and ginny is very dark. After he rapes hermione and gets her pregnant, ginny curses her foot severely when aiming for her womb. Minerva keeps hermione safe at hogwarts for a while, but ends up sending her and her child to live with snape. I remember them searching for and creating the cure, and a scene about Christmas trees, but I'm not sure of the name or even gender of the baby. I think this was a story from aff dot org but I cant really remember anymore. Can anyone help me out here?

help anon out

[lillupon]

hi hi i cant seem to find meanie mondays anymore TT did u delete it?

Nope, I didn't delete it. It's still on AFF

[fuckyeahexofics]

Fic Search #213

1. Wrapped Around Your Finger (Junmyeon/Sehun, NC-17) by FanOfTA 200516. hey! im searching for a fic where a member dates their sisters boyfriend and one of the members is junmyeon i think, there is a kiss scene where they kiss in front of the door and his sister sees them

2. 200517. Hi! This fic may be deleted or taken down, but I was wondering if you could help me find the fic that had exo members as orphans and they went to this orphanage but like the twist was, this orphanage gave them illnesses of older people? and it was super angsty , i cant remember if it was on aff/lj/ao3 but i remember it had multi pairing

3. 200523. A while ago I read this fic that was inspired by the song Masterpiece by Vinyl Theatre, I think it was Baek/Jongdae and it was about painting on skin. It was definitely NSFW and angsty. I mostly read on AO3 so I guess it was on that platform. I really can't find it anymore, does anyone perhaps know where I can find it again?

4. 200524. Hey guys, I've been looking for this fic but I only remember bits of the story: It started with Kyungsoo dating Junmyeon, who cheats on him with Baekhyun, and Kyungsoo ends up in a friend's with benefits relationship with Jongin. I wish i remembered more but that's all I can come up with. Any help would be greatly appreciated 😁

5. 200524. I completely forgot where I saw it. I think AO3 or AFF #SEKAI (sehun-kai) -Taemin is the boyfriend of Kai. Taemin is supposed to meet the parents of Kai, but he doesnt show up and make lots of excuses. Sehun was working in that cafe and Kai accidently grabbed sehun's hand thinking it was Taemin. His parents like sehun. In the end they got together. Other characters (as in other members or kpop groups)- could also be LJ

6. 200531. Hi, I'm looking for a fic that I read on AO3 before. It's Junmyeon/Sehun. Kris used to be a king of an empire, and Junmyeon was his queen. But he didn't favour Junmyeon. Then Kris passed away. His younger brother Sehun became king. As king, Sehun would need a new queen. He goes to Junmyeon to discuss this. He asks Junmyeon to marry him, but Junmyeon assumes that Sehun is asking him to only be a consort, when in fact Sehun was asking him to be his queen. Any help is appreciated. Thanks very much!

7. 200531. hi! i'm looking for this sekai wolf/abo verse fic i read on ao3 recently. sehun &kai grew up together and i think there was a rivalry, but when sehun became an alpha and kai became an omega it was tense bc kai realized that sehun was now physically better at things than him. and suho was the only other omega and w/ kai going into heat made him go into heat too. kris (the leader) had to help them but didn't touch kai and sehun was just angry about it lmao. THANK U i'm running out of space

8.  200601. Super long shot, but I’m almost certain I found it on this blog and it’s a chankai. It’s a size kink (?) but jongin has a small dick and chanyeol kinda humiliates/teases him about it. But they’re married and he only does it during sex, kinda like makes him admit he has a small dick. I think chanyeol was also a doctor in this fic(?) And older?? Do you Happen to know this fic? I’m certain it was on LJ as well!

9. 200601. Hello, I'm looking for a kris/suho werewolf au. Suho, I think, was going to meet friends but his car broke down on a road in the woods. Kris can turn into a wolf but he struggles controlling himself. Kris lives in a small shack in the woods and let's Suho stay the night then helps him fix his car. All along Suho tries to figure out what Kris is, it's cute. I hope this helps lol I haven't read it in years so it's kinda blurry. Thank you!

10.  200602. Hi! Hope all the admins are doing alright :D I need help searching for a ChanBaek fic i read once, Baek was a League of Legends pro player, Chan was not, but at some point in the story he does get a proposal to join the team. It's a vague description so I hope this makes it easier to find it, i remember the fic had a part that talked about how baek's bedroom was simple and made people think it lacked personality when in fact his personality in itself was like that

11.  200606. hiii i’m having a bit of trouble finding a fic i could’ve sworn i subscribed to but anyway it was on asianfanfics and the ship was xiuhan yixing was luhans brother while yifan was minseoks owner xiuhan run away from both of them and go to the city where they jump from hotel to hotel for a couple of days until eventually yifan and yixing find them and take them home it was rlly fluffy and funny do you have any idea what fic this is? also minseok was a cat hybrid ty!!

[missgaminfoxxie]

Thinking by myself is bad

You really dont realize how much someone encompasses your life and mind and friend group until suddenly they arent there anymore...

And you realize how much you shared and how much of an integral part of your routine and life they were. And now suddenly you find yourself going to talk to them and...you realize you really cant anymore...

It hurts a lot, realizing how much youve truly lost...abd how many doors have been shit and walls suddenly thrown up. You desperately want to hope that maybe this isnt real and maybe this is all just a dream. But then after pinching yourself till your arm starts to bleed that actually it is real and youve lost so much.

You feel your heart start to drain of any and every emotion and you watch as it all spills out onto the floor beneath you. Your soul trembles with the chill of the realization that its over. And your body has this horribly awful numb feeling to any and all outside force.

What hurts the worst...is reaching up to hook my finger in the heart loop and clutching at emptiness. Not feeling the weight of ownership and security around my neck hurts me to the depths of my being; because, ive never been someones pet before him and now im what i have called a stray.

For two years I have been his pet, his tiny fox, and worn that collar almost from the moment our relationship started to...this past monday. It hardly ever came off, ever, in those 2 years. The only time it came off...was when we cleaned it, together, or if i had a particularly important interview...otherwise...it never came off from around my neck. It was always there. It was always reminding me that even if he was an hour away...he was there. I felt secure. And now there's absolutely nothing there. He was under the impression, i guess, that id been someone's pet and been collared before...and when i told him I hadn't it was a complete shock to him.

I dont think for a long time I ever want to be someones pet with a collar. Because it just feels entirely wrong and incorrect. It feels like betrayal, and it comes with a lot of pain that even now continues to put holes in my heart just causing it to empty more. I absolutely know that nothing could ever be similar to that...

He knew/knows my sub space...and my little head space...and my Fox self...whom honestly i havent felt...since monday. I have no idea where she went. I go searching in my sanctuary and im met with the harshest winter/weather/coldness/chill ive ever faced...and i retreat.

Its so easy to convince myself this wasnt a hard decision for him, that he isnt suffering. Its easy to insist to myself that hes better off and that he never cared. Its easier to think that its all my fault...rather than face the reality that none of that is true...that in reality he loves me...just like i love him...and apparently this is one of the hardest things hes ever had to do... because he just cant do it anymore. He just cant be poly anymore...

...

For a small smount of time i felt like i was the center of someones world...and it was truly amazing. I was on cloud 9. But, i domt know how to handle people loving me. I really dont. I lashed out. I would get aggressive. "I have to fight back before they use it against me. They always use it against me"

Security? Pfft. No you mean TRAP... because everything is a TRAP they get you comfortable so they can trap and HURT you... because thats all anyone has ever done to me...my whole life...

And...that..got in the way...of a lot...

I always imagined...getting handfasted...having kids...moving with him...to a place that I knew i could be better.

The amount of guilt i. feel for even considering still leaning on him and accepting his help and his care is excruciating and painful to bear. I dont understand how it could somehow be easier to accomplish while not being my owner, not being my partner...

I am incredibly touch starved...affe tion starved...and my eyes are i think swollen for at least a good amount of time. There are piuches under my eyes now from the amount ice cried the last 2 or 3 days.

I feel ive gotten off my point and my thought process is...weird... i need to...atop for now...

[mamanamo]

Can you recommend some good Twice smut please

yooo I wish I could be more helpful… I periodically scroll through the new twice smut on ao3 (I don’t really use AFF anymore so idk what’s happening there tbh) but I’ll try and find some of the ones Ive liked… I went a little overboard going through my history lmao oops

Everything the Light Touches by iloveyouminari

Out of Nowhere, You Came Along by iloveyouminari

I Don’t Want to Fight You by iloveminari

Puppy Love by rockruff

Concealed Moans and Exposed Collarbones by summerskai

Lost in Your Heat by galaxylove

Desperate by minarii

Don’t Think I’ll Ever Have Enough by @gaykpopgirls (aka I'm a hoe for abo fics & possessive alphas,, no regrets)

there’s another omega verse fic that I love so much and I cant find it ??? D:

[baekyeol-fics]

[Fic Search] #23

1. I read this fic on AFF a few months ago, but I can’t find it anymore. It’s about this world where some people are considered less than people and called “trash” Baekhyun was one of them and became a servant to Chanyeol. Chanyeol made Baekhyun do stuff just to mess with him, but he eventually fell in love with him. I hope this is enough for you to help me find it. Thanks!

2. Hi i an looking for a fanfic i had read a while ago but i forget the title it was about baekhyun and luhan being brothers but they didn't know and one day baek get pregnant and they all were shocked because he's male and cant get pregnant but then luhan get preg also and the doctor said they are special same as their parent (i guess the parent was jongkey) i think its hunhan fic and chanbaek as side pairing 😓

3. baby put a ring on it (draft status) hiiii ive been following your account for a long time now. Thank you for keeping it active at most times lmao. Anyway, this is just a dumb question bc i just reread this like last week but cant find it haha. Baekhyun was wearing lip gloss at that time, he's in the car with yeol and then yeol pointed it out then commented about baek's habit of smoking and he wants to stop bc he doesnt want the taste of it when they kiss? I think this is the chapter 1 of it lol or was it a one shot? Idk. Thank you

4. More power to y'all admins! Anyway, i read this recently and i forgot it. I dont remember much about the actual plot but i do remember the scene where baekhyun had a lot to drink the night before and chanyeol brought him home? The morning came and baek had a massive headache and urge to puke but yeol is there to give him water, with a straw. I think baek likes to do have hookups too in that fic

5. you belong with me I was looking for a chanbaek fic. Baek had a gf but was dumped before prom. Baek attended prom but left early. He was found by Sehun and friends who were motorcycle riders. Baek became a prize for the race and CY won. Please help. :)

6. Hey! I finally got my chance. I've been trying to recall this fic and I'm pretty sure it's from AFF. It's about CY being a CEO while BH was his husband and secretary and they were a having a steamy scene at CY's office. I really wanted to read this fic again but just can remember the title. Btw, thank you for all the your effort in running this site. Thank you really!

7. Hello!! I've been looking for a fic, it was highschool!au and chanbaek were kind of fwb I think and one night Chanyeol sneaked in Baekhyun's bed through the window to cuddle with him (or something along these lines). Thank you for your time!!

8. Odd hewwooo im looking for a royalty au where baekhyun is a king and he has a wife but has an affair with chanyeol??? i remember that theyre also twins like chan and yeol. the twins and baekhyun are also siblings if i am not mistaken. thank you in advance uwu

9. Something Borrowed hi! i asked before i feel like my description was all over the place lol im looking for a best friends to lovers fic where chanyeol kept his feelings from baek but then baekhyun started dating either sehun or jongdae and i think at baekhyuns party, baekhyun was being really mean to chanyeol and then chanyeol confessed to baekhyun out of heartbreak/anger and then baekhyun realized he had feelings for chanyeol. i think it may have been on ao3 or aff but im not sure :(

10. Hello! So glad it’s open again, and I’ve been waiting to ask this but do any of you lovely admins know a fic where.. well I don’t remember much, but it was a really angsty one shot. Pcy was begging bbh to let him go so he can move on because bbh doesn’t love him anymore and bbh has moved on so pcy wants to too. But bbh makes him stay almost everytime and gets to have smex with him, until it’s revealed that bbh still really does love channie but has major problems. Yeah, um, it’s a oneshot. Thx!

[neilfresco]

Disappointed aff

I wake up , Take shower , Pray, Make Tea for me and my Mom. And i realize my diamond earring that i had kept safely near my home temple is missing. I am worried, I knew my day was gonna be horrible. Hustling everywhere trying to find it, My mother wakes up and tells me she moved it and now its lost.

I am so done with this. day and day i realize that i am highly disappointed with her. I am single handedly managing everything in this house, I don't wanna do it anymore. All she has ever done was for herself as she has always been a self centric person. I am troubled. I cant focus on my work if i keep living with her. i feel sooo stuck here.

sometimes i wish things were different.

[bangtanficrecs]

Lost & Found Batch #11

It’s been a while but here’s the new batch of lost fics! If you happen to know the fic the ask is looking for, reply to this post or send us an ask with the request number and title/author. If you happen to know any fics from Past Batches, those are more than welcome as well. Thank you!! ~ Admin P

1)  Hi! I’m looking for a yoonmin fix that I found on ao3 a while back. It was non-au (canon compliant) and, basically, Jimin was a jerk towards Yoongi and Yoongi was suicidal. It was later revealed that they had been in love, but were caught by fans, and had to break up, and Jimin blamed Yoongi. Then, Yoongi got really drunk one day and was coerced into sleeping with a fan?? It was a really good story and I can’t find it now,,

2) Hi idk if you would be able to help me since I don’t have a lot of details but awhile ago I was reading a fic where I believe it was of namjoon and jungkook?? I can’t remember who the pairing was exactly. anyways all I can literally remember is there was a smut scene where jungkook is blind folded and at one point that’s a carrot involved. I’m trying to find the author and I’ve looked through my ao3 history but can’t seem to find it. If you can’t find it I appreciate your help! Thank you

3)  I read this fic a while ago that was Jungkook-centric where Jungkook and Jin were stepbrothers and Jungkook's dad was abusive but Jin's mom didn't know that until they got married and so they ignored Jungkook so his dad wouldn't beat them too until his dad saw Jin with Namjoon and raped him and Jungkook got Namjoon to get Jin out of the house. If there's any way you can find this fic for me I would really appreciate it, I've been looking for it FOREVER. Thanks!

4)  I’m trying to find a fic that was on ao3. I can’t remember the pairing, but during the story, one of the members was acting childish and being obnoxious for attention and another member ended up punishing him for it, but not giving him any aftercare. A different member finds the original guy nearly hysterical and is his ‘daddy’ they do talk afterwords but that’s all I can remember.

5)  Hey:) I’m looking for a fic I read a long time ago about yoongi and he takes care of Namjoon and they live on the street and then Namjoon gets snatched. And so yoongi becomes a prostitute and then saves jimin and Taehyung from being snatched in a convenience store and they bring Jungkook home and it’s super cute and sad. Please help me!!

Bang Bang (You Shot Me Down) by signifying_nothing - note: the fic is locked and requires an AO3 account to be viewed

6) Hi, Ive been trying to find a fic for like a month but am having no luck. If a main pair Namjoon x Jimin ABO AU where Jimin is an omega who is living with Tae in college and JM presents late. He initially is with Hoseok but HS cant satisfy him and NJ has feelings for JM and eventually they end up together. I know there is a camping trip and Seokjin is barren (i think thats the word they use). JM+ NJ end up mating but JM leaves to stay with his aunt and YG has to convince him to talk to NJ THANKS

baby steps (i'll hold you tight) by voseok

7) Hello, I am looking for a fic. Last time I read it, it was still ongoing. Multichaptered but each chapter was a fic on its own. The theme was Jungkook and Taehyung finding each other in each universe but not ending together? In one fic, BTS were all in politics. Namjoon was running for president and Kook was some prodigy, trained by G-dragon. It was on AO3 but I can't find it anymore as I forgot to bookmark :(

8) Hi! I’m looking for a yoonmin ff that involves either jimin or yoongi being deaf or mute. There was a part in the story that i remembered which was when jimin or yoongi was in the toilet and they ran out of toilet paper also another part was how someone’s slaughter and moaning (sorry bout that) was described as huffs? I don’t really remember much and it’s a really vague description but I really hope you can find it!! Thank you!!

9) Hello! Could you help me find a fic where hoseok is a writer and yoongi is an artist? I think the story starts off with their childhood days. Thank you in advance!

10) Hii i was wondering if you know and could tell me about the fic where jimin and yoongi were a couple and yoongi was planning to proposed jimin but sadly jimin got into a plane crash when he was headed to somewhere for a dance competition and a year after the incident yoongi met jimin again

you are my sunshine, my only sunshine by yururin

11) Hey i was looking for this where jin cant be part of bangtan anymore because he got some rumours going on about him

Save Me by resonae

12) Hey there! I'm looking for this angsty fic that was set in the prologue/run era where everyone got a little too drunk one night and tae and namjoon accidentally stumbled into a lake after doing graffiti and died? the fic mainly focuses on the other members trying to recover from this tragedy and there weren't specific pairings. I can't remember where I read it. thank you!!

13) hi! i wanna find this Jihope fic,it's in aff. It's an mafia and abo au. I don't remember the summary of the story. Here’s what i remember; there’s an arrange marrige btw Hope & JM,before JM's father's dead, he give this letter to him, told him to open on his 20th birthday. when JM give it to the office, Jhope come & get him, and turn out he is Mafia & the head mafia's bride-JM's called Donna. Also, JH's alpha, JM's omega

14) do you know of a myg/pjm/jhs fic where pjm is a prince sent off to the wizard myg. People have to try and fight the wizard to win pjm's hand. Jhs promised pjm that he'll come for him in a year and join the royal army. Pjm slowly realize that he is is love with both myg and jhs. Later pjm gets hurt and dissapears and so jhs takes his anger out of myg and later jhs and myg elope

His Captive Heart by Etna

15) Hello!! do you guys kmow a fic where most of bts (except jm+nj) get stuck in a bad winter snow due to car accident and there's some dude in the woods out to get them and has got sj + hs. I think yg got a gash in his leg also. yg jk + th are try to get sj hs back and hs sacrafice himself a lot to the dude to protect sj

Never Have I Ever by Someplace_Else

16) Uh, hello!!! I hope it’s okay that I’m asking, with the temporary hiatus and stuff. But I lost a fic I had read a while ago and I want to read it again. I can’t remember the pairing but it was Yoongi x someone. Yoongi worked in an arcade with Jimin and he had tried to commit suicide but his best friend, hoseok, found him and forced him to go to a therapy/support group. Actually, you know I think it was taegi??? Anyway. Sorry again, hope this isn’t like... annoying or anything!!!

17) thank you so much for running this blog! anyways, i’m trying to find this fic [spoilers]- the plot is that jungkook self harms until he meets v, who appears to be super cheerful until jk finds out v has eating disorder. so they make a “deal” where if jk cuts, v doesnt eat. eventually something happens to v (i forgot if it was moving away or death), until jimin appears who actually is cheerful & helpful. it was on ao3 but i can't seem to relocate it (so idk if it got taken down...?) thank you!

18) hey! do u know a namjin werewolf au where jin is from another pack but he got hurt and was found by jimin (not sure) and ended up joining namjoon's pack and fell in love with him? ive been searching for this fic but i couldn't find it :"((

19) Hi, I’m looking a taekook fic and its based off the music video of Taylor Swift’s you belong with me. To taekook are best friends but taehyung loves jungkook. But jungkook has this girlfriend, I think her name is Yujin or something, who hates Taehyung because he’s gay. Thanks :)

20) hi! i read this fic once centered around the members trying to teach taehyung things through spanking? one of the chapters was hoseok teaching taehyung to use a safeword

smack that (give me some more) by ireallydontknowok

21) hello lovely admins! i am currently in a pickle (when am i not) and lost a fic, it’s on ao3 for sure and it’s a yoonseok centric fic where they have a dom/sub relationship, yoongi being the sub, but! hoseok invites (or brings) rm and guk over from his office and the plan is that they fuck yoongi, rm is used to it but guk is pretty freaked out, they do end up having sex and i clearly remember that yoongi sucks guk’s dick (sorry for being so crude ;-;) anyways, that’s all i remember! good luck 💕

[kiingnirvana]

Have you ever been so lonely that you can’t feel anything anymore? I keep trying to reach out but it’s hard because I have no one to reach out too. I’m not close with anyone but all i crave is this deeper kind of connection that I can’t seem to find. I cant relate to anyone. I’ve been without intimacy for so long now, I’m terrified I’ll never experience it. I feel like parts of me are broken beyond repair and it’s makes me sad aff

yes I have been that lonely and honestly it’s terrible. I can be here for you. you can talk to me.

[snapesslave4lyfe]

Trying to find a fanfic from years ago!! Harry and ginny are married, but very dark. Harry is a cheating prick and ginny is very dark. After he rapes hermione and gets her pregnant, ginny curses her foot severely when aiming for her womb. Minerva keeps hermione safe at hogwarts for a while, but ends up sending her and her child to live with snape. I remember them searching for and creating the cure, and a scene about Christmas trees, but I'm not sure of the name or even gender of the baby. I think this was a story from aff dot org but I cant really remember anymore. Can anyone help me out here?

[dothirsty]

ff realignment- the evolution of fic preferences.

I would say that I have evolved in fic preferencing maybe 3 or 4 times in my lifetime. 

we can call this a fanfic realignment  (because i’m a hs senior in cali that just took civics-)

so basic story- i started reading fanfiction on friggin winglin when I was in the 6th grade in 2011. 

isn’t that crazy?! W I N G L I N.

that super old crappy site that was the OG OF OG FICS.  I MISS IT SO MUCH OMG.  it was taken down in 2014.

which brings me to

realignment #1 or ok. not realignment. but my FIRST fanfic preference behavior. 

initial behavior

2011-12 SHINee x OC fics vampire!au fics romantic (cliche tbh) fics

okay here’s my shpeal on that. I got into kpop thru SHINee. SHINee was my #1. and honestly I really didn’t like winglin’s interface that much- and i’m pretty sure that’s understandable. the site is an archive that really just was filled with nostalgic memories- but anyways because of that i tried to find other fic sites. I played around with many, but settled my nomading fresh boob of a kpop fanfic reader at asianfanfics. the like top legacy of kpop fanfiction site imo to be honest. 

then again i read winglin on my old DSi. i didn’t have a smart phone or anything so...

OK RANDOM INTERSECTION. THIS WAS WHEN AFF WAS LIKE SO OLD THEY DIDN’T HAVE BOOKMARKS. THIS WAS OLD STYLE THEME WITH THE NOTIFS ON THE SIDE IN BLACK AND ORANGE TEXT. BEFORE FIC RECS. BEFORE ADS. BEFORE HIGHLIGHTS. THE TEXT SIZING. EVERYTHING COOL.  I REMEMBER HAVING STACKS OF POST ITS WITH MY BOOKMARKS FOR EACH STORY I READ- I READ SO MUCH THAT MY MIRROR WAS LIKE FILLED TO THE BRIM WITH BOOKMARKS I COULDNT EVEN USE IT FOR ITS OG PURPOSE ANYMORE. i still have most the post its to be honest. 

realignment #1

2012/13-2014 (rough estimates) INFINITE x OC fics vampire!au fics dbskgirl4ever fics********* angst fics

okay by now, i’ve completely converted to aff. i have also completely converted onto INFINITE. my second gen #1. That new bias group. And I found them through a google link of dbskgirl4ever’s fic ‘Nothing’s Over’.  OK SRSLY THE DBSKGIRL4EVER FIC MOVEMENT WAS A PHENOMENON ON ITS OWN. SO MANY PEOPLE FLOCKED TO HER FICS. AND SHE ONLY GOT MORE POPULAR FROM THERE. this was also the time where dbskgirl4ever fics were o p e n. before the wall came up. i was lucky enough to befriend her in her more trusting days so i had access to her friends only fics altho (that really upset me because guysss just stop plagiarizing her :( i would reread her fics if i could but now theyre closed to even friends.)

realignment #2

2013-2014? INFINITE x OC fics ANY BOY GROUP x OC fics vampire!au fics angst fics SOME yaoi fics.  SOME smut fics

I started playing around with reading any group fics. because at this point, i was so driven into kpop that i loved so many groups. too many tbh. also towards the end of the timespan i started delving sort of into yaoi. boyxboy sweetness and it felt really... weird. ESPECIALLY when I started reading smut o m g i tried it out on my.. 15th birthday because i thought what the hey, we 15 now. even though thats... not 18+? idk how i thought back then.

realignment #3

2014 BOY GROUP fics. no pairing. character centric fics. vampire!au fics angst fics smut fics

for the most part the biggest difference i would say is the transition from liking oc girlxboy fics to JUST boy group fics. less to none oc. that was a major transition that needed to be stated. the main groups i read were INFINITE, B.A.P, B1A4, VIXX, NU’EST, etc. i avoided exo fics like the plague tbh. although there were times when i admit reading some because they were written so well. 

realignment #3.5

mid-2016-2017 EXO yaoi fics. o n l y vampire!au fics abo!verse fics supernatural fics angst fics smut fics more domains! AFF, LJ, AO3

okay so this is the now. the reason i didnt have 2015 at all is because I had a year or so break from fanfics. I literally died from fiction and aff for a long while. and im just gonna slip in that the reason was school and relationships. tldr got a bf and then when we broke up like- i dont even remember- 358 days later? i just dived back in for comfort and HERE I AM :D being really bad trash once again- my part time life job- as i slowly transition into a young adult o m g. the first quartile of 2016, i slowly fell in love with e x o because of school- blog post about it here- and from there it was right in alignment with the breaking of ups so i ended up trying out exo fics and i just FELL IN DEEP LOVE. and now i just cant go back. I can’t read non exo fics. i cant really accept oc fics. i like yaoi and i like exo. that’s all there is to it. idk how my lense went exo gay fics in an instant. i ship exo with exo. any exo pairing i can see it. bts? nope i can’t ship bts i just don’t see it. i really wish i did though, because there’s some really good looking bts fics out there on the domain. 

conclusion

so the main reason i wanted to just let this be out here is because it’s just hard to grasp. crazy to notice how much a person can change in a lifetime. years may seem long, but looking back it was over a course of only 6 years. that’s pretty short to keep changing fic preferences. especially in my case how drastic it changed?

i went from SHINee x OC fics to EXO yaoi only fics. like woah. my mindset back then was ‘yaoi is sorta weird. i cant imagine boyxboy fics.’ so i never touched them. i couldn’t really read them because i just didn’t see an interest to it and i couldn’t picture it. i typically don’t read what i can’t imagine. but now my mindset is like ‘i cant handle oc fics. a fake character- especially a girl- isn’t what i want to read about. I want to read about real people. real idols. exo pairings are also very hot (couldnt help myself)’ idk sorry if you dont see it. it just feels so... wow to me. 

just random thoughts i have. 

keep readin fics. 

(o and if u noticed how i never grew out of my vampire!au and angst!au phase then pat yourself on the back. i just never grew out of them tbh. i’ll love vampire!au fics forever. vampire knight before kpop was my life. that’s why.)