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reticent-fate · 1 year

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Coping with divinekin related feelings by making a spreadsheet and trying to think about a tarot deck based on exomemories again 🙏

//inhales deeply//

-Nova

#kinstuff #musings #i want to talk to people about divinekin bullshit but also after that fiasco with the server?? do i???#the only thing i can think of that “justified” us getting kicked was MAYBE #MAYBE #me mentioning that artura and i have a trans-temporal relationship that amounts to #“the devotee must decide whether he destroys that which gave him divinity-- and which element of the cycle of repetition he scorns”#i am a part of artura because i came first #i consumed him #and he let it happen because it was fated to happen #the two of us became as one #and thenceforth the two of us had to eternally babysit every isalliam that came afterwards #some of which became a part of us as Artura #some of us became a part of us as Proxy of Fate (that which attempted to consume Artura)#and some of which entirely sidestepped that by refusing the cycle entirely #me joking about my subsystem being made of devotees wanting to kick my ass--- is that TOO SPICY for a new server???#UGH.#-nova

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watchingwisteria · 10 months

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listen there really was just something about how in the book, snow’s 3-page descent from hesitant lover boy to deluded mfer happens entirely in his mind. lucy gray gives him no indication whatsoever that she suspects him, that she’s going to leave or betray him. he’s just sitting quietly in the cabin waiting for her to return when that seed of calculated suspicion, which he has needed to survive the capitol, takes a hold of him and chokes the life out of any goodness left inside him. it really drives home your terror as a reader that “oh my god did he kill her? did she escape? what happened to her? why would he even think that?” in a way that when the movie had to adjust for visualization it lost some of that holy shit this guy has lost it emphasis.

#seeing some discourse and im not saying lucy grey didnt know #im saying she never dropped the kind of hints that she knew like she did in the movie #or if she did snow isnt worried about them until he very suddenly is consumed by them #snow is not concerned about whether or not she believed him. of course she did! hes snow!#but then shes gone…. for a while……#and its the sudden immediate drastic unravelling that comes across so clearly in the book #that i knew wouldn’t translate to screen yet still cant help but miss #the hunger games #coriolanus snow #tbosas #lucy gray baird #not a crime or anything just a note that i cannot stop thinking about #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #this is all from memory of reading it quite a while ago. so maybe 3 pages is an exaggeration #but i remember it happening VERY quickly and without much external cause #like we as the reader have no indication as to whether shes nearby or not.#snow has no idea either. he just SUSPECTS. and his suspicion breeds the hatred that has been bubbling inside him all this time #he hates how she undoes him. he hates that he WOULD run away with her if shed let him keep his secrets #and he HATES more than anything that she makes him WANT to tell his secrets #he wants to be vulnerable and reveal the ugly nasty parts about himself and still be loved #but he does not let himself and it is everyone’s downfall #he chooses cruelty bc it is easy and familiar and makes him feel more powerful than the vulnerable give and take that real love requires

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posalis · 4 months

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"You can only be jealous of someone who has something you think you ought to have yourself." Margaret Atwood, The Handmaid’s Tale

#art donaldson becoming the most interesting character to me #i'm just obsessed with his jealousy and desires #he's so opaque bc he rarely speaks up but he's an open book when you know how to read him #that much jealousy should have consumed him entirely from the inside we're lucky he's still standing #“was anyone going to tell me about this parallel or was i supposed to notice it by myself?”#i say as never check the tag bc i'm easily annoyed #this seems like an obvious parallel considering the next scene that happens with tashi but i never realized it before now oops #nasty snake donaldson they will never take you away from me!!#art donaldson #tashi duncan #patrick zweig #challengers

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yuwuta · 9 months

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satoru physically withers and crumbles every time you return his belongings. he doesn’t know how to tell you that he can only accidentally on purpose leave his glasses on your nightstand, or his jacket on your couch, or his shirt in your laundry so many times before he loses his mind. every time you don’t take he bait, he folds into himself and wonders why you don’t love him anymore and it costs him $22.50 to hear ieiri tell him to suck it up and use his words because he literally has to buy her company (and drinks).

but when you do take the bait, when you do wear his things, satoru thinks it’s all worth it. he can’t explain why it does what it does to him. it’s a sinister kind of possession he wants to have over you, knowing you’re your own person, free to do as you please, but also knowing you’re caged in him. it’s a lovesick kind of gooeyness that melts his heart seeing you fumble with the sleeves of a sweater that’s too long for you. it’s the vision of you seeing you drowning in him—in his clothes, in his things, in him, in him, in him. he’s selfish, he wants to consume you in as many ways as possible, wants you to drown in him, would die happily knowing you were one tenth as enraptured by him as he is with you. he doesn’t know how or why or when you gained so much power over him, but he doesn’t care, he doesn’t want you to ever stop, so if he has to keep pretending to leave his clothes and bags and glasses around then so be it.