#i couldnt see SHIT i had to look up guides & cut to the point a to point b parts & then mimic those precisely in order to get anywhere

[bread-knife]

I thought exploring Sumeru would be toilsome. but as i've already done every quest i could get my hands on i can go everywhere so it's not that bad. & the whole place is neato.

INAZUMA, on the other hand... ruu was RIGHT when he said that it's Purple. why is EVERYTHUNG so purple. and why is so much exploration barred behind sakura tree levels. my apologies ei but makoto must die a second time for her transgressions. FUCK inazuma ALL MY HOMIES hate inazuma. enkanomiya is pretty cool tho so good on kokomi for having the plot to Flushed Away just sitting right next to her people

[kuni-is-daddy]

Hii!! Could u make a scaramouche x reader smut, but the reader has a breeding kink? i would love dom reader but its completely up to you 🤭

(i finally got the courage to ask...)

Bottom! Scaramouche X Top Female Reader

Ft: Degrading, bondage/cuffing, grinding, riding.

word count 1.2k

CW: MINORS DO NOT INTERACT PAST THE CUT! THIS IS A NSFW POST.

ScaraMasterlist | Subby cat scara | Sub wanderer

Scara coming out of the shower with his shorts halfway on and his hair still dripping wet with a towel wrapped around his hair. He walks into his room while you catch him off guard and pull him into a sloppy kiss against the wall. At first he's dismissive about it but when he realizes it's you, when he feels your cleavage against his chest. He couldnt help but moan as you sandwich his body against the wall and trail your hands down to his half put on boxers. "S-shit~ I see your eager arent you? Ive only been gone for a week and this is how you act?" he pulled the towel off his hair and tossed it onto the floor.

"Hah- Like a little pet. Couldnt wait for me to finish getting dressed?" you shake your head and sigh into his shoulder. "Want you so bad scara~ please, I want to make you feel good~" Scara smirked, then guided your hand on his stomach; Abs slightly defined on his flat stomach while he had plenty of scars and markings rubbing along your fingertips. "Hm- Then I should entertain you since you've begged so well." Your eyes filled with lust as he slowly descended your hand to his V line and giving you a peak at his hard length. "Give it to me...Show your master how good he should feel pet."

You spared no time bringing scara onto his bed. Quickly sitting ontop of him and against his clothed cock as he gasped at how aggressive you we're; How hungry he was to feel you. You grinded on his clothed length, slowly stripping off your oversized shirt with your bare chest on display. Scara looked aroused and intently at you, He didnt notice until now that you barely had anything on. Just one of his shirts and silky underwear he bought for you. Pale fingertips itched up to your hips, he Squeezed and rubbed your body in motion with your grinding. "Shit..Thats it pet, Dont stop. Love how much you want me~" He dug his free hand through his hair, pushing his bangs out the way to watch you speed up your pace. 'Fuck~ Wanna flip you over right now and cum inside you. Dont stop y/n, Dont stop..' In a daze scara began bucking his hips up down. You lost a bit of balance and leaned on his body for support. "Scara~" you teased, but your words went through one mechanical ear and out the other. "Does it feel good?" 'Ah~ You~ mnn~' Stuck in his trance all he could do was grab tighter on your hips. You pouted at the lack of attention and looked down onto his shorts. His boxers we're barely hiding his hard on through his pants and poked at your wet slit. 'Was he close?' you slowed down and he sucked his teeth in irritation, and you swore you saw his eyes glow. "Fuh-.. i- W-why'd you stop?!" He hissed. "Because scara~ I want it... here.." you pointed down to your stomach and He immediately blushed "O-oh?... Is that what you want, pet?" you pressed his hands over his head, leaning down to his face close enough your noses touched. You pecked his lips and pulled away from him then got off the bed, walking to your room. "I'll be quick okay~! keep your hands like that for me." 'over... my head?' he sucked his teeth and turned his head towards the ceiling, just wondering what you had planned for him.

Scara turned his attention back to the door over the faint sound of jingling. Watching as you emerged completely naked into the room with a pair of handcuffs around your finger. "Hah So you want to be cuffed up too, slut?" he chucked as you walked towards the headboard. "No scara, this is for you~"

In a matter of seconds scara's hands we're both restrained against the headboard. You climbed onto his body once more like a cat, Pulling down his pants to reveal his aching shaft. Scara tugged against the handcuffs as you moved closer to his erection leaking pre. He wanted to put you in your place so bad, how dare you starve him of his release then cuff him up as if he was the pet. You took a deep breath before sinking yourself onto his length, your walls squeezing against his thick cock. Your body shivered and he moaned in response. "Hah..mnh y/n, Your so warm- Oh god...yes~" you leaned your hands against his body for support. Slowly bouncing up and down "fuck~ ah...You want it that bad baby? Wanna be a- ah~ mommy?" he instinctively went to touch your hips but was jerked back by the cuffs. He tugged again then groaned. God it was too much, scara wanted to touch you so bad. You began panting heavily at his sudden submission. He could just break the handcuffs, couldn't he? you gripped tighter onto his sleeveless shirt as your pace grew messy to make sure he always hit your sweet spot. "mnh~ yes scara! I want it.. Want it so bad please, please inside~ ah! please!" your body bounced faster, sloshing up and down his length "ah~ mommy~ j-just like that~! im close~ S-so fucking close. im gonna~!" He bawled his hands in a fist-

Click!

sticking out his tongue slightly while he felt his orgasm wash over him. You quickly came after, coating him with your juices as his warm seed filled your pussy and clamped down on him.

You we're a bit exhausted and collapsed onto his chest, sliding off his cock while his seed gushed out and onto your folds. He let out a deep sigh after you pulled out and was oddly silent. "scara..I-mm!" Suddenly you felt his hot hand cover your mouth. Wait..Cover your mouth? Your heart skipped a beat and looked up at him. His eyes we're glowing, With a cocky smirk planted on his face. He couldnt take it anymore. The 'pathetic' little cuffs you put on him we're dangling; broken on the headboard. Before you could process it any further, the puppet flipped you over on the side of the bed on your back. He caged you under his own body and softly bit his lip at your now 'innocent' glare. "You call yourself wanting to please me but only for one round? How pathetic." He chuckled while you looked away flustered. He noticed your shyness and shifted his hand on your throat. "Your mine. Do you understand that pet? Dont you dare stop." He moved his hand off your throat while you choked for air "B-but scara- I already-c- AH!" You pleaded and he slapped your thigh, teasing you with a spark of electro. "Isnt that what you wanted? Wanted to be a mommy?" Your eyes widened a bit, And you drooled at his words. He made a thin smile at your reaction and took off his shirt. "Good pet..I let you have your fun..now your gonna take this like a good girl yeah?" He hoisted your legs over his shoulders and lined himself up, Slowly fisting his length again.

He couldnt wait to see you bare his children.

[glilboy]

Ateez reactions to finding you reading smut about them: Hyung line

ive had this idea for awhile and even requested it a few times from other writers but..i felt it was time to write it lol

tws under the cut

warning, this piece of fiction contains mentions of somnophilia, slight dom and sub dynamics, and general explicit topics.

Hongjoong:

You had attempted to stay up waiting for Hongjoong, deciding to reread one of your favorite stories in the mean time. Unfortunately that wasnt enough to keep you awake, you ultimately passing out and your phone tumbling onto the floor.

Hongjoong had a feeling you'd passed out since you didnt message him any "i miss you :(" texts after 11pm so seeing you knocked out on the couch was no surprise. He slowly padded over to you smiling softly, then noticing your phone on the floor and went to pick it up for you. He was never the kind to go through your phone but your smart self had no shut down timer which left the fan fiction on display for him.

He couldnt help but be curious seeing paragraphs of text and decided a little reading would do no harm. As he began to read though he felt his gut sweep, in a good way. He was honestly a little upset until he saw his name but when he read his name it was like all of exhaustion disappeared. Luckily he didn't have work the next day he thought to himself.

Sitting down on the couch with a plan he slowly nudged you awake. "Hi dear," he spoked softly with a smirk.

You rubbed at your bleary eyes and looked up at him, "Oh hi Joongie. Sorry I didn't mean to fall asleep." He smiled even bigger at you.

"Thats fine, it helped me find out something fun," he tucked your hair behind your ear. Still waking up you made a small "huh?" before seeing the phone in his hand.

"Oh..." you mumbled, starting to be awake enough to get it. You finally looked at him straight on and saw his signature devilish grin.

He moved his hand to slowly move up your thigh, giving it a small squeeze which elicted a sigh out of you. "Didn't think you'd read stuff like that Y/N, but I guess you're just full of surprises huh doll," the pet name made you shiver, Hongjoong never having used that one before.

"I'm sorry Joongie," you mumbled into your arm, face now red. His hand moving up to cup your core and grind his hand into it making you whimper softly.

"Oh dont be sorry dolly, just shows me that you really miss me."

Seonghwa:

Saying Seonghwa was caring was an understatement in a way. Despite his busy schedule he made it a point to showed he cared in different ways. One thing he always did was if you left your phone out at all he would put it on the charger for you. Small things!

Today though he had come home earlier than usual while you were taking a quick shower. Seeing your phone on the counter he waltzed over setting his stuff down to throw it on the charger even if it wasn't that low. He noticed you left it on, open to a book he assumed enough.Him being the lovely man he is he wanted to read a bit to see what you liked and possibly buy you a physical copy. Written porn with his name in it though was not what he was expecting.

Seonghwa gulped, setting down your phone with his hands shaking and his face now flushed pink. He took a deep breath and set down his bag, running his fingers through his hair now being surprisingly worked up. A part of him felt embarrassed for being turned on by the writing but at the same time he knew you didn't read it for no reason.

"Hwa! You're home early hello!" You ran up to him giggling, now clean and dressed in some sweats.

"Hey babe, yeah we got let out early cause we learned the new choreography fast enough. They asked us if we wanted to do more vocal practice but none of us did," He laughed, trying to shift his legs to hide his slight erection.

"None of you stay late ever," you giggled sarcastically up at him. "Well, I was gonna take a nap. Do you want to? I'm sure you're tired."

He nodded softly and took your hand walking to your guys bedroom talking about your day. He changed himself into more comfortable clothing then joined you in bed, you curling into him quickly. Once you settled Seonghwa felt he could actually breathe, feeling like a middle schooler just for getting more worked up from having you close. He heard your breath settle which is when he shifted away a bit from you.

"Fuck..." He mumbled, having the space now laying on his back to palm himself over his erection. Looking over at your sleeping face made it worse, the piece you had opened having involved somnophilia. One thing he never had the guts to suggest to you despite having such an open relationship.

He didn't notice your eyes flutter open at the movement. You only just fell asleep so you were in no means in too deep. You decided to play it though, closing your eyes and throwing a leg over his waist as if you were just adjusting in your sleep.

He inhaled a sharp breath and bit his lip now mildly frustrated at the whole situation. Mumbling a fake sleepy "Hwa" you moved to straddle the man hearing a childish sigh escape his lips.

"If you keep moving, I swear to god," He mumbled out loud thinking youre still asleep since you had always been a chaotic sleeper.

"And what will you do about it horny kid," you giggled against his neck. You could feel his body tense.

"Go back to sleep and I'll fuck you like your sick little fantasy, how about that hm?"

yunho:

Rain was beating against the window as you cuddled up on the couch with your phone in hand. Yunho was on the other side of his personal office playing video games. It was a chill day but something in the air was setting you slightly off the edge.

Besides the sweet glances and cheesy smiles thrown at each other, your screen was very much the opposite of innocent pure love. Getting indulged in the story you started to zone in, missing some of his looks making Yunho curious as to what your interest was delved into currently.

"Be right back guys," he said into the mic mischievously. Quickly making his way over he slipped the phone out of your hand, this behavior wouldve typically been fine but because of the contents on your screen you gasped and reached out for your phone. "You doing something naughty or do you just like acting suspicious?" he grinned before looking at your phone.

His face feel reading the paragraph of a particularly nsfw scene. You were now sitting up staring at him wide eyed, "yuyu please oh god its not what you think, i think." Silence filled the room, the only noises being the sound of his running pc and the dull chatter of the other boys.

"Do you read this often?" he said out of hesitation and pure curiosity, almost feeling that he violated your private space. He kind of got the gist of it all right away, thankfully for your sake.

"Not all the time but i mean, you are busy yunho," you tried to softly explain knowing this was odd territory.

"Do you...ever want to try it," he says, getting to the end of the page and looking at you.

"I can't say that..none of them aren't, nice," the air was filled with an awkward energy that could suffocate another person if they came in at such a weird time.

The two of you stood there for a second, until he moved towards you and took your hand. He placed it on his bulge and you sucked a breathe in.

"Take off my pants," he ordered, a strange harsh tone to his voice. For you guys there was never set roles, not any dom or sub dynamic but it wasnt vanilla per say so him speaking like this was new. Besides that, you did as he said and pushed your thumbs under the waistband of his sweats, pulling them down his legs.

Silently he took your hand then sat down on his gaming chair, pulling out his large cock. He slipped on his headphones before looking up at you with a shit eating grin.

"Sit down, i can tell youve been dying too babe."

yeosang:

You were waiting for yeosang to come home after a shorter than usual practice, deciding to pass the time by indulging in your secret world. In the midst of browsing your favorite blogs you didn't hear the door open, this event made you learn not to have headphones in when participating in such activities.

Walking in, Yeosang looked around for you and spotted your figure on the couch. He slowly moved near with a secret motive of scaring you when he glanced at your phone seeing a photo of him paired with a lot of writing. Tilting his head curiously he squinted to read the text, reading along with you until his face flushed.

Sucking in a breath slightly he moved back to the door, playing off him just entering. You noticed his figure walking towards you and sneakily turned off your phone and got up to greet him.

"Hey babe, it's nice to see you in the sunlight," you giggled and wrapped your hands around his waist. You noticed him hesitantly wrapping his arms around you, causing you to pull away.

"Hey, whats up? you seem a bit off?" you pouted and brushed the hair out of his eyes, not catching the little blush.

"Yeah yeah babe, I'm fine. promise," he cleared his throat and pulled away, making your heart sink a bit. He practically completely ignored what you actually said.

"No Yeo, I- did I do something wrong? Or just a long day?" you pried knowing something was up.

Shifting awkwardly on his feet he looked up at you, his hair back in his face. "I um, saw what you were reading."

The color drained from your face, mouth slightly hanging not knowing what to say. You thought he was pissed, was going to leave and break up with you but right when you were about to talk he spoke again.

"C-can we do that?"

A moment of silence passed and you looked up at him, your boyfriend who was typically very soft and gentle in bed. Knowing what you were reading was likely pretty heavy in his book, you became worried. "Yeo, I just read it. It means nothing I don't want to make you uncomforta-"

His lips cut yours off and one hand entangled in your hair, his other guiding you to the wall by your hip. Back flush against the way you pulled away after a moment to see his eyes wide and sweat already beading down his temple.

"I've wanted to do that, just didn't want to scare you dear."

[ventiskies]

When he rejects you | Chongyun, Scaramouche, Albedo

a/n: hello friends!! i apologize for my somewhat disappearance TwT im currently having exam season but i couldnt help but write something for my favorite three (and yes, scara is there... and honestly, I don't know when I started simping for him either but you can now call me a future scaramouche haver >:)) so not a request, but do enjoy !! <3 (apologies if there are any errors!!)

pairing: chongyun x gn! reader, scaramouche x gn! reader, albedo x gn! reader (platonic)

Chongyun

★ Chongyun, Xingqiu and you had been best friends since you were kids. And although you were a trio, you and Chongyun had always known each other much longer.

★ If your life were a book, it would be a sweet childhood best friends growing up together genre, something that often piqued Xingqiu’s interests when he drags the two of you to Wanwen bookhouse

★ The books you had borrowed from Xingqiu about them all ended with the same thing; that they end up becoming a couple and growing up together. Reminiscing about their childhood youth when they were old.

★ You knew not to trust the books or use them as a guide, but just like the books, you had grown to fall in love with the icy-haired boy.

★ Chongyun was like a breath of fresh air. His determination in exorcising ‘evil spirits' to the point that he blindly falls for Xingqiu and your pranks were the things that you loved about him. He was filled with enthusiasm and positivity (literally).

★ You grew into enjoying his positive attitude, you couldn't imagine a day going by without Chongyun telling you and Xingqiu about a so called 'haunted' place he had found, and forcing the two of you to come with him. and even if it had ended without meeting a single spirit, he would still be in high spirits.

★ you loved it, seeing the rush of thrill he feels whenever he senses a spirit nearby, hoping the spirit was able to withstand his excessive yang energy. the repeating days without one successful exorcism, only to end up getting treated to a meal by Xingqiu, and the parting that always ends with a promise to see each other the day after. Chongyun speaks his emotions, and you were in love with that.

★ and him, just in general.

★ And one day, you had decided to tell him just that

★ You were both on the hunt for Jueyun chilies for Xiangling, a small commission that you had decided to take on while waiting for Xingqiu to finish his work at the guild. The sun had set, and you had returned from Qingce village with a bucket full of the chilies and had decided to rest on top of the mountain where you had both Waypointed to just to admire the sunset.

★ In the heat of the moment, you had spoken.

“I like you, Chongyun,” you had said, looking at him with a smile.

★ You would have accepted a silence. You had expected it to be like the books; he would gently laugh and look at you, admitting that he had been waiting for you to say the exact words, lean in to kiss you. It would be awkward at first, but it’ll also be something to look back to in the future when kissing becomes something you do every day. You’d return back to Liyue Harbor hand in hand, and be able to tell Xingqiu and Xiangling that he was your boyfriend now, and admit to the former that maybe his books were right.

★ But instead, you were met with Chongyun’s wide eyes staring at you. His cheeks flushed red with what you had tried hard to hope was shyness, but had appealed more like panic. He had stood up and cleared his throat

“We- we should get back,” he says, too quickly for someone as calm as he is. And you knew it was a wrong step, “I’m-,” he clears his throat, “I’m going to go ahead first. I'm sorry,”

★ You didn’t know if he was apologizing for leaving early, or for not being able to accept your feelings, but when you hadn't seen him the following day, you could only assume.

Scaramouche

★ Honestly, you had it coming for you.

★ Scaramouche is someone whose life is their job. There was nothing that could distract him from working for the Tsaritsa

★ You had (been self-entitled) as his best friend. And honestly, if Scaramouche knew of it, he doesn't blame you. Everyone in the Fatui and who worked under the Fatui knew how close you were. Which was odd because, for one, you were absolutely nothing like him. Although you weren't exactly liked by everyone, you weren't loathed by everyone like the sixth harbinger was.

★ Scaramouche was feared by anyone who hears his name or walks a foot away from him, while you carried a calmer aura. Without glancing, Scaramouche could bring his subordinates trembling, while they would greet you when you pass by them.

★ You were polar opposites, and yet, everyone has seen the two of you together so much that when he wasn't with you or the other way around, people would assume you were on a solo mission or just leaving the other’s quarters

★ Of course, being his best friend, you weren’t spared of his usual harsh words. As a matter of fact, you probably had it much worse than anyone else. It had almost seemed as if every time he spoke, he spoke like he was trying to get rid of you.

★ But if that really were the case, then he hasn’t been trying his best. You had stayed with him since you had become an ally to the Fatui, and ever since then had stayed by his side. When others shake in fear, you shake your head with a laugh and a retort.

★ It had even come as a surprise to you when you had realized you had fallen for the harbinger. You would think that spending time with such a foul-mouthed person who would murder someone in the blink of an eye with no hesitation would make you dislike him. But that didn’t happen.

★ In fact, it was quite the opposite. You had fallen in love with him.

★ It wasn’t obvious to anyone, and even you had to take the time to squint to look for it. But Scaramouche did care for you in his own way. Whether it be toning down the harsh words when he sees your mood dampen after a mission, or beating the shit out of a person who had attacked you ruthlessly, not stopping even after his hands were covered in crimson liquid and the person almost certainly died. Even if he calls you a hindrance afterward for dirtying his hands, he definitely thought of you the same as you thought of him.

★ A friend.

★ Or, you had hoped, something more.

★ It was a mistake to take his slight kindness as a sign of him liking you, it truly was.

★ During your journey to Inazuma for a mission, you had decided to confess to him out of the blue. You knew he was someone who could predict the outcome of something even before you said anything, so a slow confession when the sun was setting in a field of flowers would just be a waste of time. if there was something you learned, it's to cut to the chase with him.

“Hey Scara,” you had said quietly. He had replied with a low hum, not turning back to look at you, “I like you.”

★ Without a second thought, Scaramouche had taken you by surprise as well.

★ He had not stopped in his tracks, instead, his shoulders shook in laugher. His laugh wasn't the same laugh you hear whenever you make a stupid mishap or get slightly injured during a simple mission- no, those laughs were warmer. Although laced with unkindness, they were more familiar.

★ This one was condescending. As if you were a new recruit again, having to work under him. As if all those years as friends had just gone down the drain.

“Stupid. What a fool of me to assume you were different.” he says, voice clear as a bell in the night, “don’t be an inconvenience. I don't have time for people like you.”

Albedo

★ Ever since working under Albedo with Sucrose, your life had been nothing but full of wonder. Although some were dangerous, Albedo and you bonded easily as if you had worked together in a past life.

★ Albedo was a genius. He was someone you looked up to, and sometime during your investigations, he had become a friend. You didn't know when it started. When it had gone from two alchemists staying the night in Dragonspine to observe the different stages of new plant growth, to- with the permission of the acting grandmaster - just two people, two friends, going out to explore the seven nations.

★ Sucrose and Timaeus had stayed back in Mondstadt to finish experiments that you both had decided to put on hold for your trip, and with nothing to worry about, the two of you had gone out with nothing but the protection of each other (and your visions, of course), and a few packed meals from Good Hunter.

★ Albedo had a side that no one saw unless they spent nights camping with him in the middle of nowhere. You were one of the lucky people who were able to see that side of his during your trips around the seven.

★ The alchemist wasn't just curious about the way the world works, he had also been curious with, well, you.

★ Some nights when he couldn't go to sleep (which was often. You’d be surprised to see how messed up his sleep schedule was), he would sit in front of the fire you had both worked hard to make, and simply talk.

★ sometimes, it would be short conversations. but more than often, you find yourself talking about everything and nothing until the sun rose above the mountains, and you would have to continue your journey until one of you (usually being you,) were too tired to continue.

★ Albedo talks with passion, no matter what the topic is. He could be talking about what you were going to be having for dinner for the next night before you reach the first region in your trip, and he would already have you captivated.

★ Albedo also talks with gentleness. And this was the said side not a lot of people would be able to see from the chief alchemist. Whenever the tent was filled with comforting silence, you would be able to hear Albedo asking you questions about yourself. They weren’t your standard, what was your dream growing up? Kind of questions, but they were more specific. More… personal.

★ Is it not funny, how life works? What if a single moment had changed in the past, I and you wouldn't have met. He would question, eyes trained to the flames burning in front of him. It sounded rhetorical, but his tone was laced with wonder. He sounds as if he was expecting an answer, but he doesn't urge you for one. And every time he does, you merely hum.

★ Albedo was gentle in everything he did. Almost all the time you were with him, he had never acted brashly. He was patient, kind.

★ and that was most likely what had prompted your crush on the alchemist

★ crushing on Albedo was like looking up at the stars. he was someone who shined brightly, but you knew he was too far to reach, yet despite that, you had still attempted to.

★ you had decided to finally let it all out on him the night of your final stay before you reached your final region, which was Inazuma.

★ and that, you had realized a little too late, had been the icing on top of a really terrible cake.

"Albedo," you had stared, and the alchemist immediately turned towards you. that was something you had grown fond of. you knew Albedo was a man married to his work, so when he turns to you in the midst of it, you felt your stomach churn in delight, "I have to tell you something,"

“Hm?” he hums, setting his notepad down to give you his full attention, “what is it, y/n?”

★ You took a deep breath, and the moment you had opened your mouth to tell him, you had a sinking feeling you had made a huge mistake.

“I like you, a lot,” you muttered, “not just platonically, Albedo. I… I think you're really interesting. and if you'd like, I would love to be with you. ”

★ Albedo’s face had fallen, and although it had been the slightest, you had still noticed it. He looked at you as if the cogs were turning in his brain, and finally, he looks down

“I must apologize,” he starts, and you feel your stomach drop, “but I’m not interested in you that way, y/n. If it makes you feel better, I see you as a very dear friend,”

★ You nod, apologizing to Albedo before he offers a small smile before continuing his research

★ You both did not speak of it, but there was a very thick air of silence hangs over the two of you afterward, that didn't dissipate even after you both left the camp.

[glitterge1pen]

The Eternal And Inherit Romanticism Of An Apple Orchard

Keigo Takami x reader, sfw, fluff, word count 1,331

“This seems unessacey”

Keigo says flipping the edge of the oversized straw hat with his fingers. The staff had given one to him at the entrance counter.  He had forgotten sunscreen and it was the best they could offer.

“Take it off then, get sunburn,”

You say parting the leaves and dangling branches of the trees. The grass path you were following was supposed to lead you to the apple trees. Your skin could feel each beat of the sun, it was so hot it felt like all the trees and plants were buzzing.

Still the orchard was mesmerising. The crab apple trees that you were walking through hadn't grown fruit yet, but the pink and white flowers had blossomed. Petals drifted down from the wind on the breeze. All the scenery was lush and vibrant, the sections and rows of different apples seemed endless and vast.

“When you said you wanted to go to an apple orchard, I thought you were joking,”

Keigo said, miserable and struggling in the heat.

“I had been joking, but then you agreed,”

You said trying to tease him a little. This is when the rows of crab apples stopped, the path opening onto an alleyway of grass. From there it was the slightly taller trunks of the other apple trees. These trees were dotted with red, yellow, and green bursts of fruit. Everything felt so alive it was invigorating. Keigo went to sit down right at the edge of the lines of trees but you pulled at his wrist before he could sit down all the way.

“These apples better be fuckng perfect,”

He had a smile on his face as you lured him deeper into the orchard. Once you could no longer see where the trees began or ended you stopped. Keigo was the one to place the blanket, you were the one to unpack the bag. You handed him the water first, the ice rattling as you did so.

“Thank god,”

He said as he began to gulp the water down. The two of you had packed lunches but before you could hand him his food he told you to wait.

“I told you, it has to be perfect”

Keigo and you began gently moving through the branches, trying to find a perfect apple. Your hands tracing the lines of the bark, thinking that if you had come a few days later the ground would be covered in apple mush. You're thankful for the time you have and are more determined to help Keigo find his perfect apple.

“Hey, about that one?”

Keigo asks you, waving you over to a neighboring tree. You stand shoulder to shoulder with him, following the point of his finger to the desired fruit. It doesn't even look real. It looks like a drawing of an apple, tempting red with the faintest yellow shine. Like a gameboy, or chunk of bread, you assume that it would fit perfectly into your hands. As if it had lived its life to be picked and eaten by you.

Keigo reached his arms over and above you, his shirt lifting and the skin of his midriff briefly brushing against you. His fingers could not reach the apple. You bit the inside of your lip, trying not to laugh, seeing if he would try again. He did. Once again the apple was too high on the branch. You feel a gust of wind of his wings opening, but he quickly retreats in on himself. The thicket overwhelming the space, leaving him no room to spread his wings. With no words Keigo hunches over on his knees, removing the hat from his head, like a knight holding a blade over his chest. He looks at you expectantly.

“What are you doing?”

You ask him, squinting with question.

“Waiting for you? Get on my back?”

“What? No? You are not giving me a piggyback ride”

“Do you think I can't pick you up? What do you think I do for a living?”

This was true, Keigo had to be physically strong. It was the most basic part of his job description. Still as you hoist your right leg over the base of his neck there is an anxious feeling in your stomach. He lets out a sharp grunt as he launches back onto his own legs. You wobble a bit, your thighs trying to steady the core of your body.

“See, I’m fine, now get the apple”

You extend your arm out to the top of the tree where the apple dangles. But Keigo is still too far away. When he steps forward it throws you off balance, your hands tangle in his hair as you try to not fall over. Stretching your arm, the flesh of the apple bounces against your fingers. Finally you are able to snap the fruit from its stem.

“Here, hold on”

Kiego says as he slowly lowers himself down onto the grass. You keep one hand on his shoulder, and the other on top of his head. When his knees touch the ground one of his hands comes to help guide your leg off of him. Standing on your own feet again you find it hard to look him in the eyes again, putting your focus on the apple instead.

"Now that," Keigo says pointing to the red fruit, "is an apple"

You toss it back and forth between your hands, pretending to assess its nature before handing it to Keigo. He does similar. Rotating it in his palm, giving it a throw to the air. He presses his lips against it aggressively.

"Do you want the first bite?"

He asks you, holding the apple to your mouth.

"No, you found it, you get the first bite"

Keigo shakes his head.

"But this was your idea, plus you're the one who got it from the tree"

"You literally held me up so that I could grab it"

Keigo rolls his heads to the side, like what he is going to say next is something he shouldn't say directly to you.

"Let's take the first bite together"

Keigo once again puts the apple to your mouth, this time closer to your lips. His fingers tapping against the sturdy surface of the fruit. His own nose brushing the apple as he looks upon you. As you meet his stare you find it too deep to look away. Looking away would be saying you didn't want to bite the apple. You did. But it felt dangerous to admit this to Keigo.

So you say nothing. You move the tip of your nose to the apple, copying Keigo's gesture. The edges of his mouth pull to a grin, when you see his small smile you can't help but do the same. Keigo pokes his teeth onto the top of the apple, not breaking the red skin. You follow suit simply placing your teeth on the apple. You move first and slowly. Sinking your teeth into the apple but only a little.

There is the softest crunch, the littlest drop of water from the apples insides leak onto Keigo's fingers. You hold his gaze still, in sync as both of you slide your teeth down the exterior of the apple. The fruit was sweet and left a sting of tart juice on your tongue. You pull away from Keigo to chew and swallow.

"Oh shit it's actually good,"

Kiego says, already taking another bite. He lays down on the blanket, one arm propping his head up. You lay next to him. Bits of sunlight filtering through the leaves of the trees. Warm patches of light that were cooled by the breeze. With each wave of wind the roar of the trees felt consuming. You closed your eyes, letting the sounds of the orchard fill you. The buzz of bees, the rustle of leaves, somewhere in the distance you could hear the rush of water.

"Hey you want a slice?"

You open your eyes, Keigo is there over you, holding the apple and easily cutting it with one of his feathers.

“Wait, why didn't you just use a feather to get the apple?”

“Because I wanted to carry you on my shoulders?”

☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾

A/N:  Originally Keigo was going to magically just have on of those cans of dulce de leche, and was going to open it via stabbing it with a pocket knife, but like??? Why would he have a pocket knife??? THEN I wanted him to have honey sticks and eats those but I couldnt really think of anything interesting with that. Also have been really into apples lately so sorry about that I guess. 

[cottoncandy-jester]

✨lie down darling Its time for a dream✨

Faking it (dad squad)

So basically this is what happens if the dad squad found out reader faked an orgasm before

This is of course 18+ and the reader is female

Daichi suwamura

Okay so daichi honestly was never worried about y'all sex life

Like you moan his name everytime why is he worried

It's when you and the rest of the karasuno group get drunk and play truth of dare

When it's your turn.. you're drunk off six shots of tequila and tanaka asks you to reveal your deepest secret

"okay okay! Sooo during me and daichi's fourth anniversary, we fucked and I may have totally faked it"

Wait what.

WHAT?!

Everyone else is laughing but daichi is over here having a mental breakdown

You did what?!

How many more have you faked?! Were they all fake?! Did he ever really make you cum?

It did not take long for daichi to drag you away to the nearest bathroom

You gasp when daichi pinned you against the wall his mouth attacking your neck while his hands roamed your body now gripping your hips as he ripped your panties off.

"faked an orgasm?! Damn it how many did you fake? Doesn't matter don't tell me. I'm going to fuck you against this wall and you are going to cum over and over til I know for sure you like having sex with me"

He fucked you until you couldn't think anymore, he also made sure EVERYONE heard it.

Tooru oikawa

You were having girl talk with the other managers and the topic of sex came up

They all assume he's some sex god which makes you laugh

Oikawa is honestly such a dork during sex that you couldn't help but spills beans

"honestly he was so nervous during our first time, It was so cute..though he didn't really make me.. y'know"

Oh BOY

News travelled fast and before you know it at 4am you had a pissed oikawa at your door

The loud harsh banging interrupted your sleep and you went to the door only to see oikawa standing there, your sleepy eyes trailed his body up and down and you noticed he was gripping his phone so tight his knuckles turned white, you didn't even get to speak when the male stormed inside and let's out a frustrated sigh.

"why are rumors about me being bad in bed spreading around?!"

"I dunno...maybe you have a hater, babe it's like 4am..why are you here?"

Oikawa snapped his head towards you before walking towards you anger fuming towards you before he gripped your arm tightly.

"everyone is saying you started the rumor, so tell me little cutie what the fuck have you been saying?"

Your eyes got wide as the conversation with the girls resurfaced in your head and you softly reached out to put your hands on his cheeks which made him relax but he was still clearly annoyed.

"sorry, tooru it was just one little story. Girl talk y'know and it's fine lots of people can't make their partner cum their first time you just ha-"

You were cut off by the male roughly pulling you towards your room, everytime you tried to speak oikawa would glare at you before demanding that you shut up. Once in your room he pushed you on the bed his ego clearing having dropped now that you admitted the truth.

"I am good at sex! I am Great! I just have to prove to you that you are with the best man ever"

As he spoke he started to strip before his cold glare landed on you before he crawled ontop and wrapped a hand around your throat.

"you are going to be begging me to stop making you cum once I'm done with you"

He made you tell everyone that you cummed extra hard that night, even if it was super embarrassing to say.

Tetsuro kuroo

You two were arguing

It started with him being jealous of a person at work flirting with you and it just blew up

Screams and swears shooting back at the other

Low blows were dealt

You both don't even remember what the fight was about

Then..you said it

"God you are so cocky! It's shit like that, that make me fake orgasms during sex"

He shut up after that one for sure

All he can think about was how many did you fake and how he failed as your lover

Why didn't you tell him you weren't feeling good during sex?

Kuroo remained quiet as he let his brain think, after saying it you quickly walked over and hugged him hoping he wasn't angry at you

"baby! I'm sorry I didn't mean it, I was just upset and you were just upset you forgive me yeah?"

"how many times?"

"that doe-"

"how many damn times?!"

You flinched when he forced you to look at him showing pain in his eyes and you couldn't help but be honest with him.

"only a few, during those times where I was just really sleepy that's it"

Kuroo let's out a shaky sigh before he peppered soft kisses along your neck. He was pretty hurt at the moment but he did want to make it up to you, plus make up sex was always good

"come, let's talk this out yeah?"

His tone was soft as he guided you to the bedroom thought talking wasn't the plan he had, he wanted to make you see stars and make sure he could actually make you cum.

Koutaro bokuto

Okay so maybe it wasn't a good idea to pump up bokuto's ego every time you guys have sex

All your praise makes him think he's the best in the world

But when it came time for a girls night at you and bokuto's place stuff starts to spill

You told bokuto to spend the night at akaashi or something but you didnt think he would come home

"sooo [y/n]! How is bokuto in bed?! We gotta know"

The question made you embarrassed while bokuto stood outside you guys' bedroom listening in

Yes dear wife tell them how my sex is the best in the world

"koutaro, tries his best. Sometimes he gets a little too excited and cums early so he gets too tired to finish and we end up cuddling before I can climax so I just fake it"

WHAT?!

Bokuto automatically swings the door open scaring both you and the girls

He is legit tearing up and about to sob

After, very quickly telling the girls to leave he cries into your stomach while you pet his head

"why didn't you tell me?! I would have made it all better"

"oh..kou..it's no big deal"

Your soothing which would usually work just wasn't working right now, bokuto sniffled as he looked up at you with tearful eyes, you were his baby owl and he couldnt even make you feel good?!

He couldn't believe that! No he won't accept that! Before you can respond bokuto pushed you down on the bed before starting to pull your pants and underwear off your body

"kou! W-what the hell?!"

"just let me do this please! I need to know that I can do this, I just want you to be happy with me..so..let me worship you"

You were shocked but shuddered at the feeling of soft kisses against your inner thigh, with one final sniffle bokuto was now focused on something else.

He proceeded to eat you out that night until you cummed so much that you was sobbing but by the end of it he was so happy to know that he can make you cum and of course he was more mindful about your needs.

Wakatoshi ushijima

Oh jeez

Okay so he makes it very clear that bedroom talk is off limits

What you two do in bed is your business hell you guys don't really talk about sex and spend more time just doing it

You are very tight lipped about your sex life but tendou Is a very stubborn guy

He is constantly asking you what's it like..mostly cause he wants to tease wakatoshi

After finally bothering you to the point where you wanna hit him you confess

"toshi is great okay?! I mean sure he has his moments of not really getting me there but it's good so stop asking!"

OHOHOHO HE HAS TO KNOW MORE

after explaining that wakatoshi tends to be boringly vanilla you expect him to let it go

No bitch this is tendou 'i give no fucks' satori

Proceeds to tease wakatoshi about it every chance he gets

"wow who knew you could be boring in all departments"

"sooooo, you really like it vanilla huh?"

Of course oblivious wakatoshi doesn't pay him any mind until a drunk tendou spills the beans

"guess who told me that you're boring in bedddd~ pfft she said you are so slow that it is like fucking a box"

You of course didn't say that but you were shocked to see wakatoshi at your door the next day

"did you tell tendou about our sex life?"

Well fuck.

you honestly should have expected this. You let out a shaky sigh as you merely avoided eye contact you felt pretty embarrassed and ashamed

"yeah, sorry toshi he kept bugging me about it"

"you telling him is not why I'm upset"

You were honestly shocked and looked up only to see wakatoshi's face close to yours, his eyes were intense and honestly gave you chills.

"did you say I was boring during sex? Is this true?"

"um..yeah but it's okay I mean it's still good it's just very..typical I mean we do the same stuff all the time and you just tend to be, slow"

Wakatoshi was a little shocked by your words but he calmly sighed and ran his fingers through his hair as he tried to think of what exactly he needed to do.

"then my future wife, allow me to spend the night making you feel good instead of myself, you can tell me exactly what I need to do in order to bring you to climax again and again."

And you did exactly that, he was quite obedient and even did things he never done before just so he can make you feel good.

[swiss-cheeze]

Cold Shoulder || Spencer Reid || SMUT

Requested: YES/NO - Reader and Spencer are in a secret relationship. They have kinky sex. Next day Spencer comes in with bruises and a slight limp and the team tease him about it and ask questions. They find out about Spencer and the reader who then punishes Spencer when they get home.

Gender: male, he/him, male/male relapgionship.

Warnings: dom/sub, degradation, male/male, gags, bondage/tied up, rules, mention of subdrop (Spencer doesn't go through it), overthinking, teasing (workplace and sexually), use of ‘sir’, ‘baby boy’, ‘baby’, ‘little boy’, ‘pet’.

———

“S-sir please!” Spencer had begged, though through his gag it sounded more like, “thir plth!”, but you knew what the poor boy was trying to say.

“Are you sorry baby?” you asked quietly into Spencer's ear, the bed dipped as you untied your boyfriends ankles before lifting his butt and thighs slightly to get into a prefered position, scooting closer to line yourself with Spencer's entrance. The poor boy nodded aggressively.

“I'm sorry!” Spencer had said, but again, through the poor gag it more sounded like “um sothy!” drool dribbled down Spencer's chin and if he wasn't in such a submissive headspace he would have probably asked you to wipe it off.

“For what my little boy?” you asked again, Spencer's hips wiggled against your tip but you forced his pelvis down with your hands so he couldn't move. This time you decided to give Spencer a little leeway and took off the gag, discarding it somewhere on the bed as Spencer licked his dry lips and finally swallowed properly, his throat scratchy and dry.

“For forgetting the rules,” Spencer took a breath as you slowly started thrusting your hips against Spencer's hole, your tip barely grazing his entrance, “I-I didn't shave down there recently, i forgot my place before-shit- before you when you entered the apartment, i spoke out of turn-”

“Enough!” Spencer was quick to shut his mouth, “I'm bored,” you said with an evil grin. Spencer immediately knew what you were going to do and tried his best to not tense any part of his body, instead relaxing as much as he could as he looked at you with passion and wanting. You slowly guided yourself to Spencer's hole, pushing in slowly until your tip was enclosed within Spencer, you hummed.

“Mm, even just the tip and you’re so tight baby, you gonna be good for me?” you questioned as your hips rocked back and forth softly, not going in nor out, “gonna be a good little boy for me hmm?” Spencer nodded.

“Yes sir, p-please,” Spencer whimpered softly.

“Are you going to be good next time?” you questioned again, slowly starting to inch you way further into Spencer.

“Promise sir!” Spencer exclaimed harshly as you pistoned your hips forward quickly, sheathing yourself inside Spencer instantly, the pair of your groaning provocatively at the feeling. Spencer was quick to tug at the restraints on his wrists and arms as you pounded into the poor boy, him whimpering sweetly under you.

“Oh you poor baby, you’re not gonna last are you?” you quizzed, your thrusts quickened as you started hitting that one spot in Spencer that made him go wild. His groans got louder soon turning into moans and obnoxious gasps.

“Please, please please please sir,” Spencer begged, your hips pistoned against Spencer, skin slapping skin was the sound that echoed the room as well as the co owned moans, groans, whimpers and whines coming from the pair of you.

“Come for me sweetheart, only you will come for me when I tell you to, got it?” you growled into Spencer's ear, your hand on the underside of Spencer's jaw.

“O-only you sir!” Spencer rasped, his throat raw from the past few hours as both his and your orgasms rocked your bodies, Spencer's legs quaked beneath you from his bent position as his cum spilled onto his stomach and chest, yours spilling into his occupied hole.

------

The next day Spencer waddled into the bullpen; a slight limp, a large scarf bundled around his neck as well as a long sleeved coat. Spencer winced every time his arms or shoulders moved (even simply moving a folder from one side of his desk to the other side), or when Morgan clapped him on the back, or J.J. nudged him at the kitchen bench, bending down to pick up the stupid little pink and blue paperclips that have fallen to the fucking-

“Spencer?” J.J. 's voice was suddenly next to Spencer, causing him to suddenly stand and wince from the fast action, “you’ve...you've been wincing all day, are you okay?” she was concerned.

“Yeah just uh, just a hard gym session is all,” Spencer tried to cover, his eyes flitting around J.J., of course the blonde took notice of this.

“Gym?” she questioned.

“Pretty boy you don't go to the gym,” Derek chastised suddenly joining the conversation with Emily at his side.

“I've never seen you go past the coffee shop up the road from here let alone a gym,” Emily chimed, Spencer groaned inwardly as he started to get crowded.

“Baby, you’re going to the gym?” you suddenly materialized out of thin air with a small evidence box likely packed with the things from your desk; you had finally gotten your own office and only just started moving in.

“Yep!” Spencer was quick to agree.

“You never told me,” you were quick to take out his lie, “how long?”

“Um, a little while?” Spencer seemed to question his own lie.

“A little while?” Derek echoed, then it seemed like everything clicked as Derek's eyes widened, “NO WAY!”

“What! What, what, what!” Emily and J.J asked quickly.

“Doctor Genius here is having a little too much fun with the other genius!” Derek looked at you as Spencer went red. You shrugged.

“What of it?” Spencer didn't expect that to be your answer, then again, they also didn't actually, really know what happened behind closed curtains.

“Damn okay! I didn't know you two where that kink-”

“Derek come on” Emily chastised this time, she nudged the poor man away from the group as J.J. gave the two of you a knowing look and walked away as well. Spencer was still red as he sat back down at his desk, wincing of course, before you lent down and whispered in his ear.

“They don't know how much of a good little slut you are for me do they?,” you paused as you bit the shell of Spencer's ear, “I don't think they ever will,” as you walked away Spencer had decided then and there that he was not going to be your ‘good little slut’ as he concocted a plan.

-

Spencer calculated the exact time to turn around, the exact velocity and the exact angle in order to spill his just made, lukewarm, coffee on you. Knowing you hadn't repacked your newest go-bag, meaning you’d have to ask for one of Spencers shirts for the rest of the day.

“I’m so sorry!” Spencer exclaimed, the coffee was going straight through your shirt and showed off your chest, the poor boy almost forgot his plans entirely when he saw the dagger necklace you wore under your shirt.

“It's!” you huffed as you held the shirt between two fingers and away from your skin, “it's fine Spence really, i just need a new shirt is all,” you huffed again at the realisation you didn't have your go-bag repacked.

“You can use one of mine,” Spencer had said seemingly reading your mind, you nodded, Spencer walked to his desk to get the clothing as you stalked off to the bathrooms in order to get changed.

-

For the next hour Spencer started the second part of his plan; constantly annoying you while you try to work on paper profiles and student FBI work. He continuously brushed your shoulders every time he walked past your desk, always seemed to be breaking his pencils or loosing his pens, he seemed even more clumsier than usual, he ate over your shoulder resulting in sugar crumbs from his donut to fall onto your paper, constantly tried to recommend other words to use on your papers or claiming that what you were writing didn't actually happen (it did happen and you both knew he knew that).

That went on for three hours, by the second hour it really started getting to you to the point you almost snapped at Spencer in the worst way possible. Spencer had just recommended a new word for your paper when you almost broke.

“Spencer Reid, you know your rul-!” you cut yourself off before you could say ‘rules’, your face was flushed red from anger as Spencer tried not to grin and you instead settled for a glare as the team around you gave confused glances.

“I didn't hear you (Y/n) what’d you say?” Spencer asked innocently as he came closer to you due to ‘the room being too loud to hear you from over here (Y/n)’. You almost bent Spencer over your desk in that moment as everyone started going back to their own work and you whispered into Spencer's ear.

“If i had my office by now you would be stuffed under my desk with my cock so far in your mouth you wouldn't be able to talk while i talked to anyone who came in and did my paperwork,” you took a breath as you saw Spencer visibly gulp, “then i would have you kneeling on the ground, naked and gagged with your hands tied behind you and your calves tied to your thighs so you couldnt move so that anyone who walked into the room could see how fucking desperate you are with your stupid fucking little hard on,” Spencer whimpered softly at the image, “either that or I’d have you spread out with that little hole on display for everyone to see with ‘dont fucking touch’ in marker across your thigh with an arrow pointing to what is rightfully mine,” for a final blow you added, “learn to stay in your fucking place,” before walking away to the file room, leaving Spencer with a very prominent hard on.

-

For the rest of the day Spencer and you ignored each other, leaving a thick and heavy tension in the air whenever the two of you passed each other or walked in the same room. Your face was stone cold as you worked whereas Spencer was more anxious.

“Alright what is up with you two?” Emily asked as she walked past your desk.

“What?” you asked with fake concern.

“You and Spencer,” Emily gave you a little hint.

“Oh, nothing, just trying to get my work done is all,” and then you turned back to your work leaving Emily in the cold as she looked to Spencer (whose desk was in front of yours) and shrugged before walking off. Spencer knew exactly why you were ignoring him and it honestly scared him, maybe he had gone too far? Fuck where you going to leave him without anything tonight? He hadn't done anything like this before, he always stuck to the rules and almost never disobeyed them besides last night-

“Bye guys!” J.J. called out as she left. Spencer looked at the clock and sure enough he had been thinking of you for the past hour as his co-workers walked past him Spencer made sure to keep his eyes trained on you.

“Um, (Y/n)-”

“Go home, I have to finish some other files,” was your response. Spencer knew better than to try and talk over you or backtalk you even if he was in the workplace. He nodded stiffly as he started packing away his things and turning off his desktop before walking around to your desk and hesitantly leaving a dainty kiss on your cheek.

“I’m s-”

“I'll text you,”

“I love you,” Spencer seemed defeated when he said this, he had never acted this way and of course you never acted the way you are now, of course it’s different for the both of you but Spencer was starting to think maybe it wasn't such a good idea, maybe you didn't love him anymore, maybe he’s gone too fa-

“Baby,” your voice called Spencer from his thoughts as he realised you've been trying to ground him for the past thirty seconds. Your hands held Spencers as you looked into his eyes seeing every emotion welling within him, “I love you too sweetheart,” your smile was as sweet as your words, reassuring, “if you go into sub drop then you tell me okay?” Spencer nodded softly but you tugged on his hands to refocus the poor boy.

“I promise,” you nodded.

“I'll text you my pet,” your hand came up to caress Spencer's cheek, your boyfriend leaning into the touch, “now go,”. Spencer got the text when he stepped onto the train to head home, reading it made him flush red while trying to use his satchel to cover his bulge.

Sir <3, 7:23PM.

I want you naked and bent over the bench blindfolded.

Fuuuccckkkkk, he was definitely in for it tonight.

-------

The sight that laid before you was immaculate and like no other you had seen before; Spencer Reid, your Spencer Reid, was bent over the black velvet bench right in front of your shared bed, blindfolded, which was probably the best part. With the way Spencer positioned himself he was facing away from you and wouldn't be able to see you unless he took off the blindfold, but of course, being the good boy Spencer was he had (somehow) handcuffed himself to the ends of the bench and was spread like a starfish aside from his legs. This also got him off on humiliation. A whimper escaped the poor boy as your fingers dragged against Spencer's bare cheeks.

“Wow, you really are such a good boy aren't you?” you questioned softly, you could feel Spencer shiver under your fingers as you spread his cheeks slightly and tutted, “weeping for this aren't you darling?”

“I-”

SMACK.

“ONE!” Spencer was quick to exclaim; he knew to count how many you would be giving him without you asking.

“I've trained you well pet haven't i?,” it was rhetorical as your psalm grazed over Spencer's burning cheek, he nodded in response.

“Your good boy,” Spencer whispered.

“No.” you chuckled as you kept dragging your nails over Spencer's back and cheeks, “no you aren't a good boy,”

“What? But i-” Spencer was quick to shut his mouth with a hiss as you scratched his back, leaving harsh red lines in your wake.

“At approximately 10 am this morning you spilt coffee on me, forcing me to wear one of your shirts with the knowledge my go-back wasn't repacked”

SMACK

“For the next three hours you proceeded to be a naughty little boy by constantly chewing over my shoulder,”

SMACK

“Dropping crumbs onto my papers and my lap,”

SMACK

“Brushing my shoulder whenever we walked past one another,”

SMACK

“Constantly gave me new words and phrases for my papers even when you knew my paper was up to better standards than others,”

SMACK

“You constantly dropped pens in front of me and broke pencils just to ask me for another one,”

SMACK

“You have been all over me today, antagonizing me, annoying me…” you trailed off at the end of your sentence as you soothed the red markings on Spencer's cheeks.

“I-i’m sorry” Spencer mumbled, you chose to ignore it.

“So thick and heavy for me already baby boy,” you whispered behind Spencer as you cupped his dick, giving it a few strokes before walking away from him. Spencer whimpered at the loss of touch before picking back up into a whine as you placed something around the base of his cock. It was the purple vibrating cockring you bought Spencer eight months ago.

“FUCK!” Spencer exclaimed as quick thrumming virbarations sent their way through the base of Spencer's dick all the way to the tip of his tongue.

SMACK

“You gonna be a good boy for once and count for me slut?” you rhetorically asked, rubbing a palm over Spencer's reddened cheeks. He nodded.

SMACK

“Fucking answer me,” you gripped the pack of Spencers neck and caused him to bend backwards awkwardly, shoulders and joints popping as they ached from the angle.

“I’ll count sir” Spencer said breathlessly, you forced Spencer's head back down to its original position before you continued the punishment.

SMACK

“One!”

SMACK

“Two!”

SMACK

“TH-THREE!”

SMACK

“Four!”

And more, and more and more.

“TWENTY!”

By this time Spencer was panting as his cheeks were painted a deep red and-

“Did you just fucking cum?” you questioned as Spencer shook on the bench, drool dripping from his chin and onto the bed below him. He whimpered.

“Y-yes sir” Spencer whimpered as his thighs shook, as you looked down at the blankets in front of Spencer there, sure enough, was his load. The poor boy whimpered from the overstimulation as the cockring continued to thrum agaisnt the base of his cock.

“I should've known you'd come from a simple punishment like this,” you shook your head in disbelief, that was when you started unbuckling Spencer's handcuffs.

“S-sir?” Spencer didn't dare move after you finished unbuckling his restraints.

“Clean up your mess brat, use your tongue and mouth to find your fucking mess and clean it up.” you grinned as you watched Spencer struggle from his bent over position (his bones and muscles aching to be massaged and moved but refusing due to you standing behind him) before finally mouthing around on the quilt before finally finding his own taste, quickly lapping up everything he could, sucking the blanket into his mouth and teething at what started to stain into the blanket, while Spencer was preoccupied you quickly undressed as quietly as you could. When you were satisfied with the clean up you led Spencer to lay on his back on the soft mattress before taking off his blindfold and chucking it someplace in the room, Spencers eyes fluttered for a moment to get used to the sudden new burst of light before looking down and bulging upon seeing you naked.

“Have you learnt your lesson baby boy?” you questioned as you stuck a few fingers into your mouth, wetting them, before ghosting them over Spencers hole.

“Y-yes sir! I have sir! I promise sir!” Spencer quickly obeyed, shouting out your title in hopes to gain what he really wanted as his hips thrust up against your fingers.

“Promising something you can't keep huh?” you whispered before sticking two wet fingers into Spencer's hole, letting the boy feel the burn and the stretch, relishing in the slight choke he gave, eyes rolling into the back of his head as he pushed himself into the pillows for some sort of comfort.

“God sir please, please fuck me already. I'll be your good boy, i al-always will be i promise,” Spencer started to beg as you scissored your fingers in and out, “i'll always obey and i won't do what-what i did today, I-I’ll keep up with my schedule a-and shave, and I-i’ll be your good boy i promise,” the end of Spencers sentence was needy, whiny and oh so delicious. You slipped your fingers out of Spencer before lining yourself up, the poor boy looked down to watch.

“You sound so fucking good when you beg baby boy,” was all you said before you pushed into Spencer, the pair of you whined upon the intrusion before your hips became flush against Spencers ass. You grinned as you felt the vibrations of the cockring on your stomach.

“P-please take it o-off sir,” Spencer whimpered softly, “s-so close already” you kissed down Spencers neck, leaving love bites and purple bruises in your wake before finally giving into Spencers ask and taking the ring off, pushing a button and throwing it across the room somewhere amongst the clothing and blindfold. You kissed Spencer lovingly before starting to thrust shallowly, immediately Spencer keened as your thrusts sped up, wanting to reach your end and his own. It only took a few moments before your orgasms overtook you, shaking the pair of you to the core as Spencer spasmed onto yours and his chest as your cum spilled into his occupied hole. You both stayed like that for what felt like hours, breathing heavily into each other's ears before you started kissing down the side of Spencer's neck, the boy hummed in appreciation as your hands glided over Spencer's body, gripping and massaging whatever it touched to spread relaxation.

“You did so good baby,” you whispered into Spencer's neck, the boy whined in response as you continued kissing down his torso before finally unsheathing yourself from Spencer and moving towards the adjoined bathroom. You let a cloth become warm under the water before moving back to Spencer and cleaning up the mess you both made, “so proud of you baby, you took everything so well,” you kissed up from Spencers calves to his thighs, hips, stomach, torso, collarbone, neck and then peppering constant kisses on the apples of Spencers cheeks, across his nose, forehead and chin causing the worn out boy to laugh with the little strength he had left. You put the cloth on the bedside table before turning back to Spencer and cuddling him close to your chest, “you okay sweetness?”.

“Very,” Spencer gasped out, throat raspy from his moans, “I'm sorry for today…” Spencer whispered softly as he tried to cuddle closer into you, a sign of insecurity.

“It's okay baby, was it anything I did?” you questioned quickly, hoping you hadn't hurt Spencer in a way he didn't like.

“No, not you,” he paused, “i think i just wanted this,” Spencer looked up at you as you smiled down at him, “i just didn't like the cold shoulder we gave each other is all…” you nodded as you started bringing the blankets onto your bodies, shielding yourself from the cold night.

“Did you want to promise never to cold shoulder each other again?” you asked, Spencer nodded as he held up his pinky finger, you smiled and linked it with yours before ducking down and giving Spencer a reassuring kiss.

“I love you bubby,”

“I love you too sweetheart,”

[gallickingun]

hiii im in love with your writing!! and i surprisingly fell hard for that little oneshot of kirishima arriving home and just snuggling SO i thought it was the most adorable thing. i was wondering if you could write another wholesome sweet moment, perhaps during an afterglow or during pregnancy or just another snuggle i dunno jaj sorry if it's not from a prompt list i couldnt find one PLEASE AND THANK YOU YOURE AWESOME BYE

a/n: omg thank you SO MUCH YOU ARE SO SWEET!!!!! i love love love kiri, and i love making him soft. he deserves a sweet lil SO who will love him and hold him tight! here we go!! 💕

ps, you got a pregnancy afterglow!!! hope that made you doubly happy! spicy, so below the cut!!

pps, we have.... daddy kiri here. in BOTH senses of the word. hope that’s cool with you!

“That okay?” Kiri asks, hands gentle around your waist as he shifts you on the mattress. His fingertips brush the slight swell of your belly, thumb finding your navel as his eyes wash over your full figure.

You nod, biting your lip as you gaze up at him. Really you want to beg him to go faster, your hands in his hair and his name on your lips, but you can’t help to keep yourself quiet when you see the way he’s looking down on you in pure adoration.

Kirishima’s mouth brushes over the highest part of your stomach, dragging his tongue and teeth up your sternum until he connects to the upward curve of your chest. He smirks up at you, “These are nice.”

“Kiri!”

“What?!”

You giggle, shaking your head as your hands drift into his hair, threading through the bright crimson strands. You tug a little to guide his mouth down to your chest and he takes the hint pretty quickly. He licks over your skin, bringing goosebumps to the surface as the air conditioning hits you from above.

“Gonna start movin’, ‘kay?” Kirishima mutters, teeth catching your nipple. You whine and whimper, trying to force your head to nod up and down. He must understand because he starts rolling his hips forward again, using your gathered slick to slide into you easily.

It’s not hard for him to work you over the edge, not at this point. He’s had you going for a little while now, sweat sticking to your temples and lower back from the effort. The tinge of red on his cheeks reminds you of the amount of effort he puts into loving you.

Kirishima pulls away from your chest with a pop, lips bright red as he meets your mouth in a kiss. One of his hands rests in your hair, the other drifting around your torso, indecisive in his desire to touch your belly or support your back. His tongue presses into the seam of your lips and you part for him willingly, keening into him.

“Shit, sweetheart, you feel good,” Kiri murmurs into your mouth, the stroke of his cock within you turning your head away in pleasure. You whine, jaw dropping to let your panting gasps fall free from your tongue.

Kiri takes advantage of your wanton state, mouth ravaging your throat. The sharp ends of his teeth make quick work of your thin skin, nipping until you’re crying out and then soothing with his tongue and lips afterward. It’s like he lights you on fire only to then calm the flame.

You palm over his back and shoulders, the rippling muscle underneath your fingertips doing little to quell the wetness gathering between your thighs, distributed as he ruts into you. Kirishima has sucked at least three hickeys into the curve of your neck but you have little mind to care. You’re overwhelmed by him; the scent that fills the room, the heat that radiates from his body, the calloused pads of his fingers.

“C’mon, baby girl, tighten up for me.” Kiri’s hand in your hair tightens, yanking at the base of your head. He smirks, that confident persona he puts on once the clothes come off becoming much more evident the longer his cock is in you.

You nod in acknowledgement before focusing as much as you can on clenching yourself around him. Kiri nods, chewing on his lower lip as he loiters above you, thumb traveling down the expanse of your thigh to eventually find your clit.

"Such a good girl," Kirishima kisses the top of your knee, using his thigh to prop you up, "You always come so good for me, yeah? So pretty."

You're a blubbering mess, words unable to form on your lips, catching on your teeth like a net. You push them out anyway because you think Kiri loves to get you flustered; the smirk on his face and the tensing of his shoulders only does more to confirm your suspicions, so you continue.

He twists so he can get your leg over his shoulder, penetrating you at a whole new angle. You cry out at the first thrust but your cheek is pressed into the pillow so it's muffled.

Kirishima chuckles, "You like moanin' for me, baby?"

"Y-Yes, Kir-"

He tuts his tongue against his teeth, mouth scraping over your knee cap, "What was that?"

It's a warning, a promise that there will be repercussions if you don't follow his lead.

You turn, blinking wide eyes up at him in an attempt to have him forgive you, "Yes daddy."

"Good girl."

Your hand wanders around in midair, something you can't see, in search of him to help him ground you, to anchor you to this world before your spirit flies too far away. He slips his knuckles between yours, effectively grounding you. His mouth pressed to each of your fingers, soothing the nonexistent pain of your bones.

"Tell me what you want, pretty girl," Kirishima mutters. You can barely hear him over the mixture of panting and blood pumping in your ears. You let out a wanton cry, eyes screwing shut as he drills into you mercilessly, hips slamming into you, surely leaving bruises.

You gulp, your throat sticky from whining into the open air, "Please, I-I want your come. I want you to come in me!"

He chuckles and the deep baritone sound rolls like a wave, the vibrato of his chest making you shiver. You only wish he were talking in your ear instead of so far away.

"I already gave you a baby, sweetheart, what else do you need my come for?" Kirishima snaps his hips particularly fast and you feel your cervix cry out from within you, a jolt forcing its way up your spine.

You whine once you realize what he's said, tears beginning to pin prick the corners of your eyes, "B-But, I-I wan'it."

"Yeah?"

He's mocking you, you know it. His tone is too patronizing, the glimmer in his eyes sarcastic. You pout, squeezing his hand, "Please, daddy. Please. Want you to co-come in me."

Kirishima has his thumb circling your clit, hardening the tip of his finger just enough to give you added friction. You grind your hips upward, chasing the high that will have you crying out his name and stuttering for moments after.

His free hand wraps around your neck from behind, pulling you forward so he can kiss you on the mouth, "Such a good girl," the words are mumbled into your lips, muffled and distorted by the skin, "takin' me like the perfect little slut you are, huh?"

You whine into his mouth, palming at his back as you buck along with him, but he's got you producing waves of slick already. Your eyes roll back in your head as he continues fucking you through the crescendo, his own release building and begging in the form of his cock twitching within your dense muscular center.

"Please daddy, please," you know your irises are swallowed by your pupils, eyes blown wide with serotonin. You whimper, sifting your fingers through his hair before digging your nails into the tops of his shoulders, "Wanna make you come, wanna make you feel good, please."

Kiri pushes both of your knees back so he can butterfly you open, your thighs pressing into your chest as he ruts into you sloppily. You can tell by his rhythm that he's nearing the edge of his resolve, his mouth twisted and his nose scrunched at the center.

Your begging for him pushes him over, beckoning a wave of pleasure for him to ride just as steady as he's riding you. Kirishima's hips stutter and his cock twitches from base to tip and you can't help the moan that parts your lips.

After he's come down from the aftershocks, Kiri nuzzles his face into your neck, tugging your legs just enough to help you lay flat on the mattress. He kisses your cheek, "Such a trooper, sweetheart."

"Worth it," you giggle as he blows raspberries against your throat.

His mouth trails, pert blushed lips tickling your body, from your collarbones to your belly. He laughs once he gets to your navel, his voice soft as he speaks, "Not givin' mama a hard time, are ya'?"

Your heart warms at the sight of Kirishima mumbling to your unborn child, his fingertips tracing patterns and names over the stretched skin. He never fails to make you feel beautiful and important, especially not now. Kiri is always telling you how amazing you look, even if it's in a pair of sweatpants and one of his tee shirts.

"You’re so perfect, you know that?” Kiri kisses the top of your belly before pushing himself closer to your face. He’s smiling as he kisses you gently, much in contrast to the past couple of hours you’ve spent between the sheets. He doesn’t mind, though, not right now when your hormones are raging and you want every bit of him that he has to offer.

Kirishima kisses your cheek before pulling away, tugging you close so you can curl up into him, “I don’t know who I had to bribe in another life to get lucky with someone like you, but thank goodness I did it.”

You lay your palms flat against his chest, the muscles of his pectorals flexing under your touch. A smile tugs on the corners of your lips, but overall your body is tired and slow to move. He notices, dipping his head down so he can kiss your forehead and temple.

“You’re gonna be such a good momma,” Kirishima murmurs against your cheek, voice a low rumble in his chest. “I can’t wait to put another baby in you, keep you full all the time, yeah?”

If you were being honest, you’d have as many children as Kiri wants you to have, so long as he’s willing and ready to help you take care of them. And you know he will; Kirishima has been fawning over being a dad since the day you got married a couple of months ago. You’d been together for too long for him not to know with his whole heart that you were to be the mother of his children.

Even so, you scrunch your nose and swat him away, “I’d need a break sometime, you goof.”

“There’s my girl,” he’s peppering kisses over your cheeks now, giggles passed between the two of you at the action, “I can’t wait to meet them. I hope they’re just like you.”

“Kiri,” you whine.

Another bout of laughter escapes his lips, the vibrations in his chest making you feel whole somehow. You never believed any of those sappy romance stories before Kiri; everyone else had played with your heart - toying with it like it was some sort of thing detached from you as a person. He had been the first to throw himself at you and be truly vulnerable, the kindest person you’d ever met.

“What?!” He has you caged into his body now, knees on either side of your waist and elbows by your shoulders. In every sense of the word, you should feel panicked, frightened by the proximity and your inability to escape it. However, the only things flooding through your system are comfort and safety.

Your hands float to meet his cheeks, thumbs brushing over the tops of his cheekbones, “I hope they have your heart. You have such a rare one.”

A blush paints over his cheeks, starting at the neck and making its way skyward. You smile at him, the hormones making a raging comeback as tears fill your vision, “I am such a lucky woman, a lucky wife. You’re going to be a wonderful father.”

Kirishima tucks his face into your neck, careful not to let his hips hover too close to your belly. You feel the wetness of tears on your neck so you drift one hand into his hair, soothing his scalp with your nails. His mouth presses openly to the column of your throat, nudging his nose over your jugular. You smile at the warmth that spreads throughout your body as he curls closer around your, tightening his grip.

“You’re amazing, Kiri,” you murmur into the darkness of the bedroom, “I love you.”

He kisses the juncture of your jaw and neck, “I love you too, sweetheart.”

The next few moments are spent in silence, hands finding different patches of warm skin and mouths touching over bones and muscle. His fingertips roam over your belly, hushed words whispered as he brushes his nose over your rib cage. You are sure to echo the same amount of kindness in return, your nails mapping out the dips of his muscles and your mouth littering kisses over the top of his head, planting seeds of kindness like flowers in a garden.

“Wanna take a shower?” Kiri asks after a particular lull in conversation.

You scrape your fingertips over his back, a shudder running down his shoulders at the motion. A hum from you tells him that you’re in agreement, so he shifts away from you, standing to his full height beside the bed. Kiri holds you by the hand, but you tuck your legs into yourself as a shiver racks your body.

“S’cold, Kiri,” you whine, pouting in hopes that he’ll pick you up like he always does.

The redhead chuckles before tucking his arms underneath your shoulders and knees, plucking you from the bed and cradling your body into his chest. You rest your head on his collarbone, nuzzling your nose into his pectoral, “You’re so warm, honey.”

Kirishima kisses the top of your head, turning his body as he walks through the bathroom doors. He sets you down on the counter, your legs swinging slightly while he starts up the shower. The mirror fogs at the top from the heat and you feel a little dizzy from the sudden amount of steam.

You blink when he comes to stand between your legs, hands brushing over your ribs and down over the growing swell of your belly. He’s smiling, a genuine grin that you can’t help but mimic. Kiri leans forward to kiss you on the mouth, hands palming at you to keep you close. He is slow but deliberate, melding his lips to the shape of yours, gently tugging you toward him.

He hums, disconnecting just enough to press warm kisses from the corner of your mouth to your ear. A sigh from his lips makes you shiver, your hands instinctively threading into his hair. Kirishima kisses the juncture of your jaw before pulling away, “Ready?”

You nod and he helps you down from the counter, holding your hand as you step into the shower. Kirishima is quick to pick up your shampoo from the corner shelf, lathering it in his hands while you dampen your hair. His hands are gentle, smooth, much in contrast to his quirk’s abilities. He slides his fingertips through your hair, building up the bubbles as he works the soap into every inch of your hair.

A gasp parts your lips when you feel him press up against you, his torso completely parallel with yours. Kirishima kisses your shoulder, hands slipping down over your body, settling at your hips. He chuckles, “Relax, angel, you’re so tense.”

Kiri’s hands continue to map out the planes of your body, soap trails in his wake. The water from the shower washes over your body, erasing the evidence of his touch. Kirishima helps you to wash the soap out of your hair, turning your body so you’re facing him now. He dips his head under the water to kiss you on the lips, hands still massaging in your hair to relieve it from shampoo and suds.

“You’re so pretty,” Kiri murmurs against your lips. He tugs you forward, rolling his hips up into you, “God, you’re so beautiful, I’m so glad that you’re mine.”

Your hands find his shoulders and you pull away so you can look up at him, stars in your eyes. Just as always, the truth in his gaze - the reality that he really does love you with his whole heart - turns your insides into hot lava, warmth licking at your ribs the longer you stand in front of him. You smile, leaning into him so your bodies are entangled.

You’re not sure when it happened, when you truly became one. But now, you’re satisfied with the idea that you can’t truly tell where you end and he begins.

And you wouldn’t change a thing.

TAGLIST: @kamehamethot @simplybakugou @lady-bakuhoe @todorki-shoto @redhawtriot @burnedbyshoto @cookies-n-chaos @katsukisprincess @rat-suki @cutesuki--bakugou @k-atsukidayo @bnhatrashh @succulent-momma @voiceofreader @multifandom-fanfic @that-one-enthusiast @bitchtrynafck @cutest-celestial-princess @blue-peach14 @pastel-prynce @bokunokangae @shoutodoki @bakuoushoe @tenyaingenium @lxvely-mha @myherorambles @ramen-rambles @bratwritings @samanthaa-leanne @orokayagi @tumblingintothefeelstrain @sunbeamwrites @bnhawritten @bnhasidebin @lovekatsukibakugo @aizawamirite @plusultrawritings @bnha-violetnote @yuueimagines @suckersuki @heroes-landing @bnha-mha-imagines @heroesreverie @pink-imagines @brattyquirks @kazooli 

[notnctu]

to jungwoo, my best friend ♡

To All The J’s I’ve Loved Before Series by notnctu ♡ kim jungwoo x reader ♡ genre - fluff  ♡ wc - 1.5k ♡ warnings - none   ♡ synopsis - in which you and your best friend form a pact ♡ taglist - @colpen​ ; @cestmoncoeur​ ; @hyucksberry​ ; @lexiluness​ ; @lovelycharm05​ ; @dearlyminhyung​ ; @classic-antifood​ ; @pikijaemin​ ; @whorefortaeyong​ ; @jaeismytamtation​ ; @skrtbeepbeep​ ; @justakpopstans​ ; @macaroni-sly​​ ; @neodreams06​​​ ; @sunflowerhae​​​ ; @bearboyunho​​​ ; @lxstinthxdream​ ; @lanadreamie​

♡ a/n: and this concludes the end of the series hehe thank you all who have kept up with it and expressed all your feedback!! we couldnt have asked for such a good turn out! pls look out for some future works :)) 

Jungwoo, 

This should not come as a surprise to me or you at all. At first, I thought you were just some dumb hall mate that was always dropping his shampoo bottle while his arms were filled with the rest of his shower necessities because he never bothered to buy a shower caddy. Two years later, and somehow, you haven’t found a new best friend to replace me yet. 

Remember our pact, the one we made almost a year ago? I’m sorry, but I broke it, not because I actually found another person worth breaking it for. I broke it because I realized some feelings I had been festering. So, I guess I’m not that tough after all.

I don’t even know if I love you, or even like you in that sense. But I know that I truly do value you in my life. Without you, I wouldn’t have anyone else to cry about midterms with, drink away the sorrow of failing grades, and even just eat lunch with. 

You just know me best. You know how I’m like and what I like. You tease and make fun of me all the time, but you’re always the first person that gives me a shoulder to cry on, motivate me to do my best, and cheer with me when I got my first internship. 

The small sparkles that blossom in my chest whenever you look me in the eyes must be temporary. It must be from your new hair cut and sudden sense of fashion. They’re only small subtle changes anyways.

Maybe a part of me does wonder what it would be like to date you. You already bring me so much joy as my best friend, how much happier could you make me as my boyfriend? 

But I think that my love for exceeds past wanting romance with you, but more so, for you. I am already thankful that you’re in my life, and I hope you continue to forever be in my life.

Instead of loving me more than you already do, I want you to find someone who will make you happy, who will love and cherish you in every way possible in the ways I can’t. 

I know I love you. You’re my best friend, and I wouldn’t change that for the world. 

-from your ride or die, y.n

“Jung Jaehyun?” Jungwoo exclaimed. “Are you an idiot? That’s her ex.” 

“Okay! Yes! I reali- ow!” Mark whines as your best friend hit his shoulder, knowing that scowling the boy was not enough.

“Hey it’s okay, it wasn’t even that bad.” You casually sip on your morning coffee. 

“You actually continued the date with him?” Jungwoo’s eyes widened, almost as big as bowling balls. 

“Yea, we’re friends,” You emphasize, “Especially since someone always leaves on the weekends and someone else is too popular and has many friends to attend to.”

Before Jungwoo can roll his eyes, Mark catches a glance of his watch, alarmed by the time being shown.

“Oh shit,” Mark hurriedly packs his things. “I’m late for class, I’ll see you guys during our two hour gap right?” You and Jungwoo nod in unison as you watch the rushed boy dash off towards the tall buildings.

Your best friend clears his throat, “so are you two planning on getting back together? I really thought you and that Jisung kid were going to hit it off. The guy looks at you with hearts in his eyes and attentive ears.” 

Scoffing, the morning sun is dazzling on Jungwoo’s eyes, nose, and lips. There is a brief moment of examination when you take in the change in his outfit choice, him wearing jeans instead of grey sweat shorts.

It’s almost as if Jungwoo styled his hair differently today as well, the part in his hair now sways slightly off the center. He looks good today, almost as if you were finding your platonic perspective on your best friend shifting to attraction.

Jungwoo peers over at you when you don’t answer his question and he waves a hand in your dazed face. With an immediate choke on your coffee, you snap out of it all.

“No! I told him we weren’t getting back together, as flirty as he always is. And Jisung,” an exasperated sigh draws from your lips, followed by a small pout, “the feelings I have for him are out of care, though I love spending time with him. Time just stops and we’re in our own little world, but to be together in the real world… it’s difficult for my heart to say.”

Jungwoo rolls his eyes at the poetry that endlessly spews from your mouth.

“Okay, Shakespeare. Don't worry, you’ll find someone to grant your ridiculous fairytale romance one day. And since I know you best, I’ll make sure that the person comes into your life riding on a majestic horse to sweep you off of your feet.” 

The sweet smile does not match the teasing tone, but instead reminds you of sincerity. There is this unrecognizable tingly sparkle that runs across your chest when you two catch each other’s eyes.

A tiny voice in your head wonders, could it be you, Kim Jungwoo? Despite not knowing how to ride a horse, he did mention how he knows you best.

He knows everything about your interests, your taste, your habits. He’s the perfect balance of sweet and salty. Your number one supporter, your number one speed dial. Your best friend, as if he didn’t already play that role too perfectly. 

The happiness Jungwoo warms you with is already delightful, so could limits be tested to see if it would be better in a relationship? It is definitely an option to be explored.

“Let’s make a pact.” It’s music to his ears, the curious boy loves hearing a new proposal. A mischievous grin is noted, along with the gleam that glosses over his eyes. “If we’re both single by the time we graduate college, we’ll date each other.”

“On one condition,” your best friend starts, the evil smile not fading, “the pact is broken if one of us develops feelings for the other person before graduation.” 

Jungwoo proposes a challenge that might actually cause you to lose. The unsettling drop in your stomach makes you want to hurl, and it’s hard to swallow your pride.

“Like I would actually like you?” The quiver in your lip initiates Jungwoo to chuckle.

He sees right through your tough act, and knows exactly how to taunt you. “Sometimes I catch you staring at me like how Jisung stares at you.” Jungwoo playfully pushes your buttons, and before you can protest, his hands run through his hair coolly.

“Right, like how you look at me like how I look at Jeno.” It is semi-sarcastic and you cross your arms in defensiveness. Jungwoo shameless knows every person who has had your heart at one point, and has even teased you to the point of asking if he was your next J. 

He whines cutely, as he oozes every ounce of sweetness from his crevices. The dramatic pout, the puppy dog eyes, the hands pressing his cheeks together. “You caught me red handed! The condition is more for me than for you anyways.” 

The reaction he wanted is what he got when you stand speechless at your best friend’s comment. “Oh, shut up. Is it a deal?”

“Of course, my cutie pie (y/n)! You know what, I’ll stay single just so we can fulfill our pact.” Again, there is no seriousness in his happy, cheerful fun. Jungwoo is a bask in the sun, live in the moment type of person. And he sure as hell, does not think about the repercussions of his words.

“Then maybe, you can finally write about me in your little secret love letters.” Absolutely mortified, you cup his mouth quickly to avoid any other reference to your letters. You instantly regret letting him in on that secret, because honestly, you had just been giving him more ammo to use against you. 

“I told you to never bring it up!” As if you aren’t embarrassed enough, you can feel the vibrations of his laughter between your fingers. 

You are practically determined at this point, there is no way you are going to break the condition. 

You are tougher than that, you manage to get through a high school break up with your first love. You’ve rejoined a past crush, who still has the ability to make sparkles fly.

You became a guide to a lost freshman, who you’ve grown up to love. And you simply predict, that in the future, you are going to experience more hurts in greater magnitudes. 

And you’ll grow up through your experiences, but with Jungwoo right next to you. Through experiencing and learning different things about yourselves, there is no time to focus on your potential relationship with your best friend. 

So maybe, just maybe! You aren’t going to fall for your best friend and break the pact early, because you’re no sucker to Kim Jungwoo. 

However, you’re beginning to notice the small changes and even those have an effect on you. So possibly, it may be harder than you’d think. Because the one person that will be beside you through every heartbreak and passing crush, is always going to be him. 

[adowbaldwin]

***** adult content warning, because im a drunk hoe that will regret this in the morning

@kindlyones this is basically your fault 😂

Baldwins secret - 17a. What happened just before

If anyone could see him now, he would die in embarrassment.

"Such a good boy" Sienna cooed, though not actually talking to Baldwin, rather his stiff commanding officer. She peered up at him through fluttered lashes "If only Baldwin was as good as you" she squared her eyes "Be nice to Jack. He is here to greet his new sibling"

"No" he tightly hissed back, full of regret and shame of the situation he was in

She smirked, darting her tongue out to lick a dirty swipe of the underside of his cock, drawing up the vein prominent on him. That ilicited the most wonderous sound; Baldwin Montclair whimpering.

His hands rattled against the head board magically enchanted fucking cuffs keeping him bound "i hate you" he gritted.

Edging was fun, being edged was torture.

She softly exhaled, trying to hide her smirk. Knowing you were making possibly the oldest man in the world putty in your hands, begging you to let them finish was an absolute win in life. She held him firm in her hands until he was looking at her once more, and as soon as those peircing eyes were on hers she took him into her mouth.

Her wrist circled him in the just the way he liked, cheeks hollowed taking him in sloppy and wet. She moaned around him, thriving off of giving and the twitch jumping under her command. She popped her mouth off with loud purpose, wiping her tongue over his leaking tip before relinquishing her touch for the fifth time "Say you wont hurt Jack" she whispered seductively "and i will give you a reward for being so good" she came up over him, legs spread over his chest wide so he could see her glistening folds. So close but yet so far.

He watched like a hawk as she dipped her finger into her slit, delicately wiping it over his lips for a teasing taste "shit" he groaned head hitting the pillow with a heavy thunk he could eat her till he died "Fuck" his voice was rasped, heavy "you are done when i get out of these cuffs, do you understand me? You will feel me for days after"

She shrugged her shoulders and smirked "Dont threaten me with a good time, sir"

He growled, deep vibrations rippling through his chest "i know you want it just as much as i do, come on dont be a tease doll"

She tssked her tongue "Desperate please will get you know where" she cirlced her sensitive bud, slightly rocking against his firm chest "Mmm who needs a man anyway?"

He couldnt bare it any longer, her entire scent was driving him crazy "Please" he broke out as a new wave of arousal flooded his senses "ill beg, ill get on my knees and beg"

She opened her eyes to see the desperate look on his face. She halted her own pleasure, knowing he was on the precipice of breaking "You need to drop this vendetta against Jack. Promise you will not hurt him"

"I promise. I will lay down a red carpet and bring him fine wine" he practically cried "Please, pretty fucking please atleast let me have a taste of you" because im three seconds away from crying in frustration

Baldwin almost cried we she settled her dripping core over him, the taste oh so much sweeter after so many tortuous hours. He flattened his tongue, dragging it up and down her cut moaning into her heat.

She was writhing above him, rolling her hips in synch with his licks. She almost came then and there when he moved his attention to her swollen clit, lips closing on it and sucking lightly.

Sienna tightened her grip around his cock as she pumped him slowly; tongue swirling around the head lapping up drops of arousal. He couldn’t refrain from thrusting up into her, aching for more.

It was her turn to whimper in dispair as he pulled himself away from her. As he broke contact, so did she. "Balldwwiinn" he could hear the desperation her voice

"I have had it up to my neck of foreplay" he snarled "you best get on me and ride it like a fucking jocky or i swear to you now Sienna you will regret it" the deep tilt to his voice, the command in the tone had her scrambling around to his waist, sinking onto his hot steely length. As he felt her warmth consume him he let out a string of profanity in languages she did not understand.

She shivered under his heated gaze "Keep that up and i might forgive you for edging me"

She couldnt fathom how he strung a sentance together "i just wante - Uhh fuck fuck" she cried as her rythm frenzied "you to get along YES" his hips drove up suddenly, deep thrusts making her whine "you get the point" her mouth dropped open, silent O formed on her lips

That bastard smirk worked its way to his face "you seem like you need help there. Untie my hands, ill guide you"

She shook her head, keening as she arched forward "No - nnn" she stumbled, clawing onto his sides as leverage "so close" she cried out wordlessly

"Thats it give it to me" he shuffled his legs untill his feet were firmly planted on the bed so he had vantage. She dropped forward, sweaty forhead hanging over his as he fucked up into her eagerly, meeting the drive of her hips.

Neither finished with a dignified, conservative moan. Both desperate and warn out as eachother as she dropped all her weight onto him.

Much to her unfortunate pleasure dismay, he was lying when he said 'if you untie me now, we can cuddle properly. Do not fear i would not ruin snuggle time"

[wasabi-mommy]

Hello, this is a short 3 part fic I’m in process of writing.

Summary: Kakashi has lost the one he loves most, how? He doesn’t know. How is he is still alive? Also, he doesn’t know. Dealing with the intense emotions, the stress of change, and living without the love of his life is tearing him apart. Kakashi doesn’t know it, but he has people looking out for him though, Even if he doesn’t feel like it.

(Let’s base this before he has OG team 7)

Day By Day (1/3)

Warnings!: ANGST, DEATH, BLOOD, ACTIVE VIOLENCE, MENTIONS OF SUICIDE.

He didn’t know what was worse. Couldn’t tell what hurt more... the first night knowing that she’s gone, or every single day after.

Kakashi was still awake, like he had been for the last 6 days.. no.. no it was almost morning now. No.. 7 days.. a week. His eyes glued to the ceiling of his “old” apartment.

Once more in his life he felt empty. He felt like a fucking idiot.. letting his guard down again- letting someone in. Again. Of course they would be doomed to die as everyone else Kakashi cared for would.

He didn’t even know how she died. He woke up to her body lifeless on top of his... He doesn’t remember who carried him to safety.. he doesn’t remember who hauled his half dead body 100 miles back to the village, he doesn’t even remember being in a medically induced coma.

All Kakashi can recall.. is waking up to his lover’s body on top of his, stained with cold blood , yelling her name and shaking her to wake up- to open her eyes.

Then it was black.

He remembers shooting up from the hospital bed, ripping off the wires and tubes attached to him, he remembers practically interrogating the doctors and hospital staff...”She bled out” the medics told him.

He sat up slowly, he was disgusted with himself, his body felt like sludge. His head fell into his hands, his face unyielding of any emotion but the tears streaming down his cheeks clearly say otherwise.

He crossed his legs as he stifled a silent sob.

He loved her. She was the kind, unselfish,sweetest, intelligent laidback person he had ever known.. and she didn’t even have to try, because that’s how genuine she was. Kakashi’s breathing gradually slowed and he lifted his head from his hands. He threw his legs over to the side of the bed and with all the effort of whatever was left in him, pushed himself up.

The funeral or the preparations atleast.. was what he would genuinely crushed him. She didn’t have any family, no next of kin, only him. He had to sign the release forms for her body at the morgue, he had to handle the paperwork regarding funeral arrangements. It was a constant sick reminder from the minute he woke up on an active battlefield.. that she was dead.

Kakashi’s legs were numb but managed to carry him to the bathroom just fine. He scanned himself in the mirror. His silver hair thrown in every direction, dark bags forming under his eyes from sleepless nights, his maskless face covered in scruff. He let out a short laugh followed by a small cry.

‘I should be ashamed of myself’ he thought staring down his own reflection.

The anger was carved into Kakashi’s face and he couldn’t hold it in anymore, with his knuckles white and a quick cock back of his fist, he’d lost it. The sound that escaped his lips as his fist easily went through the dry wall was one he’d never actually heard from himself before. It wasn’t like him to be this extremely outwardly violent.

The mirror fell off the wall and shattered on the tile floor, Kakashi’s breaths were heavy and his eyes fell below him. The glass had sliced his ankles and feet. For some reason.. he couldnt feel the pain, but he could see the blood starting to seep from the cuts. Other than that.. nothing.

“MR. HATAKE! WHAT IS GOING ON?!” A raspy female voice called out as she banged loudly on the front door.

“Shit” He mumbled. He’d forgotten, his neighbor was actually his landlord. He let out a sigh and rand his hand through his tangled hair. He can’t feel anything- at least in the moment so he walked without a care over the shattered glass on the bathroom floor.

He slowly turned the knob of the door revealing the short chubby grey haired women standing with her arms crossed.

“Mr.Hatake do you understand it is 4 in the Morning!? What are you doing punching holes through my walls?!” She yelled flailing her knobby arms around.

“I’m sorry Mrs. Roshi” she arms fell, she opened her eyes to get a closer look at his.

“Mr. Hatake! You’re bleeding!” Ms. Roshi grabbed his hand before he could protest and guided him through the door to the right of his.

“You sit down, I’ll fix you up!” She motion him to the living room while she waddled away. Kakashi found himself sitting on the sofa, hand folded in his lap, he could feel the dried tears along his cheeks, and a headache was sure to be coming along.

‘She won’t be offended if I just leave right? ..no i already put a hole through her wall.. she’d probably evict me at that point..’ he thought folding his hands into his lap.

Ms. Roshi came back with a large bowl of water, a small metallic bowl, medical tweezers, surgical sutures, alcohol pads, and bandages. She set everything down on the floor and looked up at Kakashi. She frowned, there was an emptiness that she could she through his dark eyes. Roshi herself had a feeling what had happened seeing that look in a mans before.

She lightly lifted up his heel and began to observe the wound soon plunking away at glass shards. Kakashi felt embarrassed, but he felt like he deserved this, this punishment or whatever this feeling was. The only noise filling the apartment where the small clinks of glass begin dropped in a metal pan.

Roshi broke the silence, “ what has you hollowed away Mr. Hatake?” Her voice was steady and calm, almost nurturing.

Kakashi’s eyes grew wide for a second and then appeared once again lifeless.

“I..” it was still so fucking hard to admit. Because when he would say it.. then it would become real, “ I lost a loved one”

Roshi nodded, “ I see... I’m sorry for your loss” Kakashi’s shoulders fell, even though he had to keep still for her he just wanted to fall apart.

“If I may ask, how did she pass?” Roshi asked plucking out a very large piece of glass from the side of Kakashi’s ankle. He felt like his heart would stop any minute with how shallow it felt.

“I-I don’t know..”

Roshi cocked her brow before she could say anything Kakashi continued,” I remember waking up during the battle..she- she was on top of me. I- she died.. she bled out on top of me”

Roshi’s face grew grim, “ that is terrible, I’m so sorry.” She began working on stitches the deeper cuts at this point. Old woman worked fast.

“How about I put on a pot of tea,Hn? Then I would like to talk to you Kakashi”

Kakashi’s head perked up, it caught him completely off guard, using his first name.

“I would like that, Thankyou” he hated how disgustingly pathetic he sounded. He just wanted to shrivel up and die in complete honesty. Ms. Roshi finished stitching up the silver haired mans feet and ankles and had wrapped them in bandages.

“Put on these socks for now, you shouldn’t walk bare foot with fresh bandages” she tossed him a pair of fluffy grey socks. Kakashi slipped them on and Ms.Roshi eventually slipped to the kitchen for a short and and brought two cups of hot tea and set them on the coffee table. She took her place in an arm chair across from Kakashi and sighed. Kakashi blew gently on the hot glass and began to sip the sweet warm liquid.

“I remember when I first met you and Sakumo,”

Kakashi almost choked on his tea, he put the cut down on the table, “you knew my father?”

Roshi smiled and nodded putting her tea down as well, “of course! I’ve rented to Sakumo all of your life Kakashi, I was very close friends with Sakumo until the end, I remember tiny little you..and now look another Hatake is renting from me now.”

She smiled, “ Besides who else would rent to a man with such bad credit like Sakumo”

Kakashi scratched the back of his head. “Uuuh well..”

Roshi Scoffed, “Kakashi you don’t even have credit, so shush, I promised Sakumo I’d give you somewhere to stay, why do you think you rent is only $50?”

Kakashi sweat dropped, he was learning a little more than needed about his father now.

“I’m not going to sugar coat it Kakashi, I’ve lost my Husband, 3 sons, and 2 daughters.. all Shinobi, some fighting for the village, some becoming their own demise..” she looked at Kakashi with serious eyes. Kakashi’s mismatched colored eyes locked with hers in the subtle moonlight of the living room.

“I need to know if you’re going to be okay Kakashi. I’ve lost two sons to suicide, and I wouldn’t want the same to happen to a dear companions son”

Kakashi tensed up. No, he wouldn’t come to that point.. a part of him wouldnt fathom the thought of taking his own life, only from the fear of not having succeeded and having to deal with the aftermath. There was a sick part of him deep inside that wanted to give in and waste away. Kakashi picked his cup back up,

“No.. I couldn’t” he mumbled gazing at his reflection in the tea, god he looked like shit enough for someone to ask him that?

A huff came from Roshi and she crossed her arms. “Good. You’re a gentle young man Kakashi, I know everything you’ve been through has been hard- but you cannot be lead astray by violence and self destruction”

Everything she was saying.. resonate led with him. Staring blankly into the dark liquid refracting the gleam of moon light that had slipped through the window.

Kakashi set the cup down and got up from the sofa. He flinched, yes he could feel what the broken mirror had done to his feet now. What a stupid, stupid, stupid thing for him to do.

“Thankyou Ms. Roshi, I’m sorry about your wall,” Kakashi’s eyes glanced to his left where he could see a hole clear through the drywall.

“... I will fix it in the morning, Thankyou for everything.” He bowed his head to her and turned to leave.

“Kakashi”

He looked over his shoulder, his hand already gripping the door knob. “... please come and visit me more often, talking can help.”

Kakashi looked back at her and forced a small closed eye smile.

“Thankyou Ms. Roshi” he said quietly leaving the old woman apartment.

He closed the door silently and slipped back into his apartment where the bathroom light was still on. Making his way towards the bathroom he saw how much of a mess their actually was, blood, glass, chunks of drywall. It earned him sliced up feet and ankles and still.. nothing has changed.

Lol I hope you enjoyed, this is part one of three, inbox me suggestion and stuff.. please don’t be rude this is my first fic that I’m posting on this blog publicly.

[macklives]

homestuck recap

i hated this so fucking much bc my 2 am bitch-ass didnt want to read a recap thats probably longer than any slowburn out there

anyways here it is

also, uhhH sorry im using this as a end of session discussion bc that shit gets explained in her as well. and im not writing up more recaps of a recap so this is where im done for the day. (by done for the day i mean last nights session, im still doing a liveblog soon. i just wrote this yesterday)

also that this is long

you dont have to read it, theres nothing of importance

ive been coping with humor to get me through it

neato.

have fun with what i suffered through:

why was “beta” the only thing unhighlighted?

like did i miss a page???

OH its the beta version of HS thats why

damn its like 5 pages and thats it

mmh

well youll all be happy to know im clicking every single one of these links again bc i like looking back like ahh i remember that. good times. also in case i forgot some shit existed.

do you think andrew had fun writing this? or was he like “fuck”

thats a lot of fucking package talk. good thing im not confused as of now and remember it pretty clearly. of else, this early on in the recap, id be screwed.

god remember when i did an analysis on each item and what it did

i feel as if i have the technology engrained inside my head right now

cruxite, alchemeter, all that jazz

flashbacks are starting up already

yeah, that was the good part in homestuck where i knew 100% that i probably would continue on this liveblog in its entirety, ngl

that one explosion scene. bc it kept me going.

OH W A IT SHIT

i just realized how the intermission spades probably fucking foreshadowed the whole jack revolts thing and gains the ring, which was also technically JOHNS fault considering he slashed up the doll in the first place

my god, i guess thats the only good aspect of the recap. looking back at things and realizing the missing pieces.

oh that makes sense for the whole “this prototyping had no effect on the enemies, since he was already in the medium” i didnt actually think about that

little did rose know where that would get her right now

oh yeah

there’s still the whole entire lab terminal thing and how mom basically knows the place exists. i guess we’re still venturing onto that and itll come up later when we find out how mom knows SO MUCH about the game.

still think shes some weird spy or secret agent

i kinda love her ngl

anyways, theres literally no reason for skaia to produce a cloning machine. so technically, they only sent the meteors in, right? so who put the cloning machine in if not mom?

oh yeah that impact was nerve wrecking asf

and still at this point in the comic i called dave fuckboy red

huh, how times change

i hated reading that whole paragraph ngl, the frustration just kicked me in the boobs again

yeah nobody else got tornadoes, huh?

OH that makes also much more sense

bc she did prototyped them before she entered the medium.

i gotcha

man one of my favorite edits i made, rose hitting that meteor with a bat

are you

telling me

the exiles structures they arrived on were in the form of the items the kids used to enter the medium?

THE EGG

THAT EXPLAINS “EGG”

of course it was 413 years ago. that was never explained. simply vague “many years in the future....” but i expected no less from this

man serenity is the most wholesome character in hs no doubt

damn thought andy here was really gonna spoil us jade’s planet

okay cool, im glad i now have the layout to the whole “their stations went to the coordinates of the home button” shindig

man i honestly dont know what else to say besides “yeah cool recap” when i already pretty much know what went down? ofc im looking into each link and shit and adding in things when i see fit, but otherwise its just me going “ah good times” yknow

the whole meteor thing kinda makes sense now?

we’re still missing a few pieces of info but we’re getting there, folks

oh yeah that reveal

god jade and dave have it in the shits for parents huh

bro isnt the best and jade has a fucking dog

who lowkey

is doing better than bro

who knew a fucking dog is a better guardian than bro lmfao

dreambot = terminator. im telling you.

sorry im still on that idea and it will never leave unless i have the actual proof in front of me that its not going to become a thing. meaning, ive finished hs and theres still no terminator dreambot or either andrew himself gives me a canon letter with “the robot is not arnold, mackenzie, pls just let it be”

why is the entire game session highlighted

i swear to god if this is like to a second recap or smth of the whole game session i may fucking CRY

okay thank god its just a design of the skaia layout

which is honestly cool

idk why its blurry tho but i can at least see the layout now. which is honestly how i pictured it anyways.

yeah, john did make a huge impact in his friends’ life and i find that so fucking touching

yep. got that. everything loops around. cool.

especially when the trolls come in. god we havent even gotten to that recap portion yet, we havent even gotten to the INTERMISSION

pls can this be the halfway point to the recap

AT LEAST

so they were exiled after the whole jack: ascend thing, right? considering theyre way in the future. man no fucking wonder.

speaking of jack

man that whole dad and jack interaction was gold, ngl

OH THAT EXPLAINS THE RING THEN

and wow, andrew’s really giving us the best female content huh. andrew is the true god of equality and diversity.

also hey, i didnt realize that wow. so PM tricked the queen in showing the parking ticket to be able to take the present from jack. she’s a smart cookie, that one..

she and PM basically snitched on jack and it was the best thing that has happened to me so far

oh yeah okay

but why did AR panic over bec? bc thats something we havent learned yet, right?

anyways

exile town, the only town which should exist. facts. i dont make the rules.

noice

i love PM being queen. like.. thats canon now. shes an actual queen.

yeah that was a fun game and the consorts were cute

fuck yeah the dick head

hate them even more now that i know john was killed because of them

anyways, i wonder what dick move dave’s denizen did? maybe thats why its filled with lava bc the denizen was like “fuck it. make the land red. kill them all”

UH WHAT

WHAT

OH MY GOD HOW DID I JUST FORGET NANNAS LETTER LIKE THAT LMFAO

THEIR TITLES WERE THERE THE WHOLE TIME!

so i still dont know what they mean but i can gather it has something to do with the game giving them abilities. considering dave is the “knight of time” and he can go back in time. whack.

which means john can either control someones breathing or simply wind. and rose is... like that one girl in the winx club who does the sun shit. bc whenever i think of light powers, i think of stella.

and jade is space. witch of space.

nice

i have no idea what that means ngl

okay finally

we’re at the trolls

maybe this recap will end soon

i remember when i thought they were internet bullies

yesss

someone asked if i basically knew the trolls were on a different veil than the kids, so not presently with them, and i know lol. i was making a joke before btw. jsyk. dont think im incompetent to forget these things when sometimes i choose to forget it so i can add in a joke

it be like that, i annoy many

then again, pls dont assume im trying to say im not incompetent bc im also a fucking dumbass and DO forget shit and i have no excuse

imagine being so bored on the meteor, your last resort is speaking to aliens

ngl me if i was ever trapped on a meteor and could potentially do that

nah ik its bc its their only hope at helping with their session or whatever tf CG said to john. but there was BOUND to be a conference meeting between them like “okay guys. humans. that needs to be sorted out” and you just hear CG screaming in the background

i cant wait to meet them honestly bc im growing on all 4 of the ones we’ve seen already. and on top of that, i know what they look like and i know theyre not THAT bad, just a little on the crayy zee side sometimes

but theyre trying

OH MY GOD

I GET IT

FUCK

DOES THAT MEAN THE INTERMISSION IS *APART* OF THE MAIN FUCKING STORY??

AND SPADES IS WV FOR THE TROLLS

GOD D A M N

wow

i didnt expect that. but maybe the signs were there and i was just willingly choosing to ignore it or smth bc “haha couldnt be, right”

flashbacks to how i thought the trolls were humans

anyways, i guess he got his revenge on the kids version of “snowman” ie the black queen. but really

he did not have to do that. he could have cut off the finger and fled. but he decided “nah, lets implode her” so the loml is dead and all i got was a catchy song

i knew they were different types of “bullies” but now i just have to replace bullies with uhh

trolling strategies

anyways, this is cute. i love how they’ve come to be friends through mutual frustration. good part in the comic.

i wonder why it explodes

more importantly

....

terminator time?

this was my favourite sequences of dialogues in the whole entirety of homestuck. that is to say the back and forth thing that the kids went through to become a sort of wingman for the other.

absolutely gold.

all except AT’s rap.

GC was the only smart one with the linear shit

anyways fuck he still has to kill the denizen now but apparently its hard to beat for a sleeping dick head so

that will be fun for the future

john will probably need to kill A LOT of imps to get there

yeah rose is a badass bc she slayed that thing with needles of all things

OH and the white queen was the cursive

damn did AR ever do the whole guide process to a kid yet? maybe he will with dave, idk

oHHH

i fucking SEE

thats why he said DNA

to use it and replace all the life forms in the ocean

fucking neat wow

man that sounded sarcastic but im genuinely impressed bc all i got was bullshit as i read jaspersprites log

so thats the secret. it was “meow” bc that somehow translates to the genetic code she needs then. and that code apparently took fucking years to write as well. sick. whack. oh man.

derse is very pretty, ngl

and wow shit

“dave had already been awake in his tower all along without realizing it” how tf does someone just

do that, awake in both places at once

i didnt even fucking realize that fact as i read that pesterlog wow

ah yes, around the time things got confusing

okay so the capsule makes sense bc at first i didnt know it was a fucking time capsule so i got confused as to how it just apparated the game lmfao

the more you know i guess *twinkle*

i find that a neat concept tho

like the whole whatever you prototype affects the imps and shit

yeah so that whole “he had no advice” basically impacted his future

no shit dave wanted to reset things bc he probably thought he caused some sort of bad butterfly effect and killed his best friend

fuck calsprite thats all im gonna say

i read that first sentence and i think i got an aneurysm

and then everything else just made me sad again

i mean good thing he fucking did amirite?

we got pain at first but now we got cool shit like idk

fucking DAVESPRITE

damn idk how that works

will rose have like two minds now? or will this be some steven universe fusion shit?

“and understood their meaning” course well i fucking didnt so could you pls elaborate, rose?

okay but then what the fuck did he use that was inside the fucking box

bc i thought he used his knife?

im only every going to refer him as that now, thank you andrew

alright okay..

god that was a lot

i dont know what will happen once i click on those links but i am going to see that for myself bc i refuse to add ANYTHING ELSE

[sirvalrigard]

genuinely cannot figure it out. cann you please tell me what the fnaf series is about

OK OK so like we’re extremely off our shits rn but lets try to make this coherent

edit: this actually turned into a fucking wall of infodump bullshit so adding a cut lol

1970s. a gay furry dad named henry emily decides to make a furry restaurant cause he’s passionate abt animatronics and making kids happy. he opens the restaurant with a man named william afton as his business partner. henry makes animatronics and william handles idk being fucking creepy and handling money is my best guess. the restaurant is called Fredbear’s Family Diner, featuring Fredbear and Spring Bonnie (after a year or two it becomes popular enough for henry to have money to build bonnie, freddy, chica, and foxy too!) 

ok so shits fine and normal until william billiam is like ‘hmm im gonna be a child predator now’

on a rainy night one of henry’s children, Charlie Emily, is locked outside the pizzeria somehow, where william finds and kills them. the security marionette that henry built to protect his kids drags itself outside to their body, and thus is possessed by their spirit

obviously henry is fucked up but no one knew who the killer was, so henry was able to reopen another location, this time under the new name of Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza, with the now familiar friends Bonnie, Freddy, Foxy, and Chica to join the original two! multiple locations are eventually opened, and things are going just fucking fine until WILLY billy does his bullshit again!!

this time he lures them into the back by wearing a Spring Bonnie suit, and kills four children and stuffs their bodies into Bonnie, FReddy, Foxy, and Chica, where Marionette (charlie) finds them and binds their souls to the animatronics

but even though willish addon was employed at the very location he killed kids at, AND he was even convicted as the killer, since police couldnt find the bodies (and are useless) he didnt go to jail which is honestly so accurate its the scariest part of the franchise

so like henry at this point i imagine is like “fuck this” and sells the restaurant line to—you know what? honestly? i would love to know who runs Fazbear Entertainment. with the way help wanted was going i rlly hope we get an expansion on that with them as the villians (destroy capitalism) ANYWAY–

“Fazbear Entertainment” becomes the parent company of this mess now and theyre like :)……oh lets hire that william guy again hes fine

and at this point wwillus is making his OWN fucking pizzeria and his OWN animatronics and is actively kidnapping, torturing, and killing children to steal life essence from their souls! during the process of testing this, he gets his own ‘daughter’ Elizabeth Afton killed!! yeah im not fucking making this up!! (ppl in the fandom really defend this guy lol)

1983. so as Freddy Fazbear’s Pizzas are expanding,  Willard Afturd somehow? got himself some children. like to raise. like as a “““father”““. personally i do like 2 think a mother was involved but honestly he totally coulda just fucking kidnapped some random children to raise as his own and im starting to think thats more plausible  actually BUT ITS NOT GAME THEORY TIIME

one of these kids he is personally torturing! his own “son”! incredible! long story short this traumatized child ( unofficially named CC Afton ) is forced into the mouth of Fredbear by his brother Michael Afton and his friends, aaaand he dies ( and is guided by Charlie to possess Fredbear )

even after years of rumors about dead kids being hidden in animatronics, its this accident is the last straw for Fazbear’s Pizza and they are finally shut down. then WILL rubs his nasty hands together and tries to open his OWN pizzeria with his original OCs do not Steal™, Funtime Freddy, Bon Bon, Ballora, Circus Baby ( possessed by Elizabeth) , and Funtime Foxy and theyre all. probably possessedtoo cause theyre used 4 his kid torture fetish

uh ok so Aphton is like hey michael go clean up my child abuse for me anyway brb so his son Mwanders into his father’s Pizzeria to find his sister elizabeth . long story short…………he finds her and she does the “we’re brothers but closer” spongebob meme but also with her friends

ANd they leave! hooray! from then on the story is about Michael, whos zombified now after being used as a husk to hide an amalgamation of 5 animatronics fucking trying to find his shitty fuckass dad, and to help the anguished and vengeful spirits inside

but the first location to reopen after having been shut down, Wilson AAAAA is employed AND KILLS SOME MORE KIDS who would have guessed omg amazing..stunning.. and michael is employed there JUST a week too late like it happens RIGHT before he’s employed so Wumbo Man gets away again and Fazbear Entertainment gets shut down AGAIN, in 1987

not too many years later Fazbear Entertainment tries to open restaurants yES AGAIN and theyre still using the original animatronics that are still rotting and bloody on the inside . somehow this place stays open for a bit, and michael is employed there still looking for Worst Father Ever, and the children attack him due to rage and confusion, and when they kill another employee, the restaurant is shut down for like the trillionth time

but then for some reason Whenwillhedie Afton is like im gonna go try to dismantle the other haunted animatronics at the shut down pizzerias cause i dont actually even know i have shit for brains and also probably wanted to melt them down for life juice BUT

theyrelike FUCK OFF and the spirits of the children materialize in front of Wellington Well Done and force him into the old crusty spring bonnie suit that he’d murdured in before nd spring is like FUCKy ou and crushesAlton with their animatronic parts aand smush him. trapped now #springbonnieisgoodguy

the spirits go to rest in animatronica, the events of fnafworld happen when: 30 fucing years later in like the 2010s some jackasses thought it would be a good idea to mak e a haunted hoiuse attraction based on fazbear’s pizza and use actual shit from the restaurants and of COURSE this fuck shit up hardcore and disturbs the spirits from the rest that they were in ( until it turned intp the events of FNAF World ) and then they were ripped back into reality when Fazbear’s Fright was built

also! they found WWWacky smacky Acky all rotting away inside Spring Bonnie (now called Springtrap) and were like yeah this is good. definitely not a robot struggling to hold back the influence of a murderer predator and definitely wouldnt haev a problem with being set free

basically michael hears about this thing when it opens and is the first employee there and proceeeds to burn the whole place down as soon as he sees Willmont stuck inside ofs Springtrap

buuuut it doesnt work and Springtrap and other various spirits and haunted robots are still wandering the fuck around and Henry at this point is like Okay I Need To Do Something About This Cause This Is Entirely Out Of Fucking Hand and he reopens a Freddy Fazbear’s location himself, but advertises for a manager who wants to build their own pizzeria

you know who pounces on this like a purple cat? MIKE hes like FUCK yeah egg boys gonna kill his dad and be ann egg MAN today

with the help of Henry’s use  of luring mechanics and michael’s endurance and survival skill they gather Scrap Baby (elizabeth), Lefty (charlie), Scraptrap (springtrap, unfortunately  who has a rotton raisin inside him ), and Molten Freddy (the remaining animatronics that  had jumped into michael’s skin lumped together)

soon as theyre all there ? boom . henry lights the place on fire just like mike had and THEY BOTH JUST SIT THERE AND DIE IN IT TOO LIKE ITS SO METAL and it burns everyone else as well

and all the kids are like

uwu

owo

and drag william afton into HELL!! and they get to torture him for a while together and get the revenge they deserve hell yeah tbh UCN is so iconic

BUT Fazbear Entertainment drinks the capitalism so theyre like…. :((( we’ve been so bullied we totally didnt haev an employee who killed countless children… .pleas,e,e,, buy our mehrch, , n,,jdn

SO they employ an AU version of scott cawthon to make, essentially, the games that we’ve all been playing, but like, in-universe, – so the company in universe has fnaf video games made in order to make light of and cover up the actual murders that happened in the canon. is this too meta yet?

okay i lied this is also the scariest part of the franchise bc of how accurate it is to corrupt business hGJFSKDLHDSS

therefore, they create Help Wanted, the recently released VR game (also a game in-universe) and they use salvaged circuitboards and shit from all the old animatronics to program the game, but of course that just ends up transferring everyone’s soul into the game – the kids, the animatronic AIs, and BASTARD MAN

spring bonnie, now called Glitchtrap, is in a deteriorated mental state and is weak to Afton’s influence, and the fuck is able to manipulate an unknown amount of people into helping him out of the VR game and into the in-universe real world. one of these people was jeremy fitzgerald, michael afton’s childhood friend and a former employee at Fazbear’s Pizza during 1987.

he was involved in a lawsuit against the company making the game, and we don’t know what has happened to him yet. but he’s very important. evidence points to him being one of the kids that helped michael put CC’s head into Fredbear’s mouth, and that in 1987 when working at freddys he was bitten and is somehow functioning without a frontal lobe (but like, michael at this point is functioning with insides made of pudding and rotting skin so . basically theyre both too gay to die )

but we DO know that theres at least one person communicating directly with Glitchtrap, who he seems to have convinced to help set him free, someone whos made their own rabbit mask but doesnt seem to be willingly doing this, and might be brainwashed

also, currently, (this is really weird because we are currently living in the same time as the fnaf timeline is at right now) Fazbear Entertainment is planning on a “service program” that is basically sending personal animatronics to peoples houses and GUESS how fucking well THAT works out bc theyre STILL ALL HAUNTED YOuf g

and it seems like theyre planning on opening a new location in 2020, and that might be when we can learn more about the reluctant follower of springtrap and who has the camera while everyone moshes on william aftons corpse

basically the games are about childhood trauma, recovery, the love of family and friends, and justice against many kinds of evils

also where the fuck is sammy

[angrylizardjacket]

my baby’s a public menace {Ben Hardy/Reader/Roger Taylor}

Four Iconic Moments The Press Had A Fucking Field Day With

A/N: 2670 words. So this time we’ve got Modern Times with 70s!Roger pulled forwards in time. Don’t think too hard about how it works it just does.

1. It Becomes Official

The moment they call Ben’s name at the BAFTAs, to receive the award for Lead Actor in a Television Series, you feel like the whole world is coming to a stand still, and Ben’s rising, disbelief written all over his face. 

“That’s me.” He says, quietly, as the applause has already begun, and then Roger’s on his feet, beaming, and he wraps his arms around Ben, pashing him directly in front of the camera that was catching every moment, and Ben kisses him back easily, before turning to you, eyes bright, and he pulls you to your feet, giving you a kiss as well.

“Congratulations, babe.” You murmur, and he’s so fucking ecstatic when he pulls back, and heads into the aisle, heading towards the stage. You slide into his seat with ease, lacing your fingers with Roger’s where he’s bouncing with energy and beaming with pride. 

“He fuckin’ won.” Roger laughs with a little disbelief, and you turn to each other, both absolutely radiating with pride and adoration.

“Our boy did it.” You giggle, and Roger’s gaze dips to your lips for a moment before he looks back up, a new spark in his eyes that you knew all too well.

“I can’t wait ‘til we all get home.” He dropped his voice low, and you could feel yourself growing a little flustered at the suggestion.

“Keep it in your pants, dear,” you nudged him, and he barked out a laugh, giving you a wink before he turned to where Ben was finally walking across the stage. You, however, felt your heart stop in your chest, “he kissed us on camera.”

“Well, I kissed him,” Roger mused, his thumb rubbing against the side of your hand, “couldn’t help myself.” He admitted, still beaming as Ben was handed his award, expression bright and a little disbelieving as he leaned into the microphone.

“I think I just won a BAFTA and outed myself in the same minute, so that’s going to be hard to beat next year.” Is the opening line of his speech, and the audience titters with polite laughter, while you and Roger are hiding your snorts. “I actually had to email the organisational committee to ask them to let me bring more than one plus one, I’m glad to see that it wasn’t in vain.” He laughs; he goes on to thank the crew of the show he worked on, the other cast members, his family, and he looks for you and Roger in the audience, pointing the award at you. “And for Rog and Y/N, of course; the weirdest and best thing to happen to me in a long time.”

“Do you think he knows how much we wanna suck his dick?” You lean over to Roger, whispering under your breath, amused smile on your lips at you look up at your boyfriend grinning on stage.

“Of course he does, look at that smile.” Roger responds with a low chuckle as Ben leaves stage, heading back towards you. When he gets back to his seat, you move back to your own seat, resting your head on his shoulder when he sits down.

“We’re so proud of you, baby.” You tell him softly as they’re beginning the next segment on stage, and Ben reaches out with his free hand to rest it on your thigh, giving you a squeeze.

“I know, love.”

2. Roger Throws Half A Chicken At A Paparazzi

“Do you think we should go inside?” You ask, voice low as you catch sight of a man in a baseball cap and dark glasses covertly trying to take photos of you three. It was a nice evening, you, Roger, and Ben had been enjoying a meal outside at an upscale restaurant, the three of you draped on a two person outdoor lounge, your entrees having just been cleared up. Both you and Ben are on your phones, and Roger’s between the two of you, nose buried in the paper.

“Why?” Ben asks, not looking up from his phone, and you shift a little uncomfortably, giving the man trying to look like he’s not taking photos.

“Hey, dude, can you just leave us alone? We just wanna get dinner.” You call to the man, and he stands, a little flustered.

“So it’s true, you’re really dating both of them?” He calls back, stashing his phone in his pocket, pulling out a little recording device; the asshole came prepared.

“No, we’re just really good friends who make out at the BAFTAs.” Roger rolls his eyes, folding up the paper, and throwing the paper onto the table in front of him.

“No need to get snarky, mate, I just think it’s weird that somebody like her would get on so well with-” He’s cut off just as a kind and beleagured waitress puts down what looks like half a roast chicken surrounded by salad onto the table.

“Fuck off, alright?” Ben snaps at the man, clearly irritated, sitting up straighter, giving the waitress an apologetic smile as she leaves in a hurry.

“The hell do you mean ‘someone like her’?!” Roger growls, and you actually have to put a hand on his chest where he’s leaning forward, as if getting ready to throw himself at the reporter.

“I- do you wanna address the rumours then, Y/N about-” The man starts, but Roger cuts him off with a snarl.

“If this bastard brings up those fuckin’ gold digger accusations, I’m gonna start throwing things.” He warns, and not a moment later, the man brings up the very words Roger had told him not to. You’re just heaving a heavy sigh, used to being hounded by the gossip magazines, though you try not to pay them any mind.

“I could shout how much I love you from the rooftops and these assholes would still think this is some sort of weird, sugar daddy situation.” Ben turns to you, his voice low as he gives you a long suffering smile. You lean in across the empty space that Roger had just vacated to give him a kiss, before turning to where Roger was wielding his roast chicken like a grenade, lobbing it at the reporter, yelling about how he’s ‘sick and tired of hearing people talk shit about his girlfriend; she’s got more kindness and talent in one tit than the paparazzi has in his whole body’. 

“We should probably get him before he does any real damage.” Ben muses, to which you agree. The two of you move to collect your rogue boyfriend as he continues to yell and squirm.

“Baby, baby please calm down; you’ve made a scene, you’ve thrown a chicken, you’ve mentioned my tits, we can have dinner at home.” You try to placate him, your arm tucked in his as Ben’s got an arm around his shoulders, the two of you guiding him from the restaurant.

“Just makes me so bloody mad.” Roger growls his hands on your hips where you’ve got your arms around his waist as Ben pays for your half finished meals. “It’s twenty eighteen, you’d think dickheads would learn to grow up.” He huffed.

“I know, baby.” You muse, bringing him in for a kiss to distract him, hoping to let his anger simmer down a little as you two stand in the parking lot. 

“I just love you is all, people like that make me so pissed-” He whispers, more to himself than anything, but then you’re kissing him again, humming affirmations, your hands in his hair.

“I love you too, I love you too.” You murmur against his lips.

Later that night you’ll see Ben’s instagram story from just before he joins the two of you again. You and Roger, arms around each other, lit by a single streetlight, you’re leaning in to him, lips inches from his, and he’s smiling gently back at you; the whole image is surprisingly intimate, especially for Roger. It’s captioned ‘I’m allowed to take candids ‘cos they love me’.

3. Someone Gives Ben Tequila

Ben’s not usually the type to get drunk and reckless. Or well, he’s the type to get drunk on occasion, but not reckless, not like Roger, who can be incredibly reckless even while sober, nor like you, since you could go either way. Ben was meant to be the grounded one. Except sometimes he has tequila. It’s an afterparty for a movie he’d gotten a supporting role in, it’d been fun, but he was looking forward to being able to spend time with you and Roger again. Speaking of the two of you, you’d disappeared almost half an hour ago, Roger had gone to the bathroom and you’d gone to get more drinks.

When he finds you, you’re trapped in an uncomfortable conversation with one of the editors assistants’, a weedy kid who couldn’t seem to figure out that you didn’t want to talk to him.

“Hi, baby!” You call out to Ben the moment you think he’ll be able to hear you over the music, and he makes a beeline for you, his heart singing when he sees your face light up.

“Hello, love, I was wondering where you’d gotten to.” He says, barely acknowledging the guy you’d been talking to, who’s own expression fell as Ben pressed a kiss to your lips. The two of you head off in search of Roger, who you find by the bathroom, talking with someone who’s clearly quite enamoured with him. From his easy stance and casual smile, you could tell he was at least enjoying the woman’s company. Neither you nor Ben were usually the jealous type, but after a few drinks, you couldn’t be blamed for just wanting to stake your claim.

“Hey, babe, who’s this?” Ben asks, slipping an arm around Roger’s shoulders as you stepped around to loop your arm through his on his other side. Roger, with a sly, knowing smile, looks between the two of you, before smiling brightly at the woman who’d been talking to him.

“Like I was saying, this is my boyfriend and girlfriend; you’ll have to excuse them, they get jealous easily.” He smirked, and the woman looked a little shocked, a little flustered, as she stuttered her way through an apology. “It’s no worry, I’m sure they can entertain themselves for a while,” and with that, he winked at you. Taking the hint, you moved, taking Ben’s hand and leading him away.

“He’s just being a social butterfly, you know how he is.” You mused gently, the two of you flopping onto a sofa. Ben hums thoughtfully, sitting beside you, your hand in his. He presses a kiss to your shoulder, trailing kisses up your neck to your jaw.

“‘m not jealous.” He said, lips at the corner of yours, pressing another kiss there before he brings his hand up to cup your cheek, moving so you’re smiling over your shoulder at him, “it’s just nice to say you guys are mine.” And his voice is low, almost a growl, and you feel a shiver run down your spine.

“I like the sound of that.” You tell him, kissing him hard, letting his hands wander and pull you close to him.

“Mine?” He asks, and his hand is on your thigh, moving your legs so you’re sitting over him rather than next to him.

“Yours.” You agree, kissing him again, messy and passionate, you can taste the alcohol on his lips and his tongue but you don’t care when he’s leaning you back to lie on the sofa. “And Roger’s.” You add quietly, and there’s a gleam in Ben’s eyes where he’s looking down at you, his arm around you, one hand on your waist.

“You’re ours, love, there’s no doubt about it.” He assures, and he leans in to kiss you again. 

“I can’t take you two anywhere!” Roger’s grinning when he finds the two of you, and Ben presses his laughter into your collar as you look up at Roger and make an insistent, grabby hand for him. “If you insist.” He chuckles, sinking to his knees to join you at your level, kissing you where you’re splayed out on the sofa, with Ben all but on top of you. “You know there’s a perfectly good bathroom not too far from here.” 

Not ten minutes later, one of the other cast members sends to the cast group chat, in all capitals ‘BEN’S BANGING IN THE BATHROOM’ which was met with either ‘at least they’ve freed up the sofa’ or ‘lmao called it’. You’re not surprised, nor are you ashamed, when some gossip rag has your face on it (or more accurately, Ben’s face) the next morning, and a riveting account of what happened with no actual details, and a photo someone took on their phone of you and Ben on the sofa. It wasn’t the first time, it probably wouldn’t be the last.

4. Roger Gets Instagram

Roger takes surprisingly well to instagram, which is both hilarious and terrifying. He posts a lot of selfies; he takes to being an instagram fuckboi like a duck takes to water. At first it’s mostly blurry shots, of sunlight, sometimes it’s you and Ben out of focus, laughing, or he gets one of you two to take a photo of him, shirtless. 

When he gets a waterproof phone, the first thing he does is take a photo of you and he kissing underwater at the beach, and then three separate, all individually hilarious videos of Ben trying and failing to do a majestic hair flip coming out of the water; in the last one, both boys get hit by a huge wave, and the video ends with you laughing, fishing the phone out of the surf.

The three of you go on holidays to somewhere sunny, and at the end of the week, he posts the highlights; you lying on your stomach beneath a palm tree on the beach, topless; a selfie of the three of you smiling at the camera against a backdrop of a starlit sky, golden in the light of a bonfire; Ben in a coconut bra, a little blurry with the movement of laughter, grinning at you just out of shot; you, in bed, making a truly terrible face where he’s just woken you up and the sun’s in your eyes. His favourite, however, is the one from him at the end of the holiday, shirtless and tanned, shot from the waist up, biting his lip as he’s turned to look off to the left, showing off how he’s covered in hickies.

The shots that get the most media attention are his more risque ones, like the shot on his story that you’d taken where you could see the bottom half of his face all the way down to his hips, with a sheet covering his modesty, but a lipstick kiss mark along his V-line and his tongue out. (There’s a followup photo on your instagram story, of your lipstick smeared, grin wide, and your hair messy, with the caption, ‘sometimes you just gotta be a messy bitch’, and people put two and two together, and conservatives lost it.) 

The most infamous actual post of his is the shot of you and Ben together in bed, he’s leaning against the headboard, still mostly laying down, and you’re draped over him, chin resting on his chest where the two of you are grinning about something. The sheet covers most of your ass, and comes up to Ben’s hips, and you’re giving the camera some pretty glorious side boob, and the photo’s framed to show room for one more person beside you in the bed, a sliver of sunlight shining through the curtains, across Ben’s chest and your back, and it’s just captioned ‘what a sight’. He’d asked you both before posting it, and you’d both agreed; it didn’t violate any guidelines, but social media still had a field day with the sweet, clearly post-coital photo.

[believerindaydreams]

not where I thought this fic was going.

...fluff. I’m writing Angel Eyes/Tuco fluff. 

*shrugs*

They don’t sleep together, as it happens. 

It would have been anti-climatic, rather literally, and Tuco’s very grateful for the double bathrooms adjacent to Angel Eyes’ bedroom. If a little less so for the lack of privacy- all right, so a rich voyeur might have every reason to install these gilded swinging doors, like the saloon in an old western, but they look flimsy and he feels rather exposed. 

(Especially since Angel has a toilet with an actual door, the bastard. He should have nabbed that one instead, but shamelessness is one thing. Standing numb and stupid in another man’s bedroom, with his member half falling out of his jeans and ecstasy still burning up his veins, had been another thing altogether and he’d been only too glad to stumble into the one without a lock on it.)

Contrast. The sheer, solid wealth of this place awes him all over again, now he’s alone and had time to catch a few breaths. Black and green stone everywhere, marble maybe, hell he doesn’t know- the only time he’s seen anything like it has been the odd overpriced hotels, at the height of their luck. And him in sweat-marked Hawaiian shirt and soiled pants. He grabs a wad of toilet paper, dampens it a little to help scrape off the cum. 

There’s a sound of running water on the other side of the wall; presumably, Angel Eyes is doing much the same thing. Or not. Maybe rich people just throw out their underwear every night, like he heard once about the queen of England. 

“The shit isn’t going to stink any less, because of these pretty surroundings,” he says aloud, just to see if he’ll get a response. There isn’t one. 

Shrugging, he cleans up his clothes as best he can, and takes advantage of the showerhead to wake himself up a bit. Three minute drill had always been a necessity during winters back home, before the hot water turned icy; he prefers baths these days but isn’t going to stand around hoping for one. Blondie always goes to work on the assumption that he holds all the cards. He likes playing at that himself, but it doesn’t stop him noticing where the exit signs are. 

(Besides, kicking out the third party strikes him as a sensible way of resolving this little Mexican stand-off they have going. It’s what he’d do.)

At this point, he might not even mind leaving; that big meal, a good wank, all he needs to do is find somewhere decently sheltered and he’ll sleep for hours. He and Blondie have an agreed rendezvous at the town border, as usual. Six o’clock tomorrow evening. 

If nobody’s there, well...by then he’ll be hungry enough to need a new plan. That’ll keep him busy enough not to fret. 

A slight bitterness chills him, while he dries off and rummages through the Duluth for his straight razor; this Angel Eyes is like who he ought to be, if he’d been lucky and wealthy and smart. Or maybe just smart. Enough to think up a really sharp dodge, not just their easy brainless games, something that would justify all this worry and hustle. 

(He’s been content to let Blondie do the thinking, because his partner was always so good at it. Is still good at it; this must be why they’re here at all, why Blondie had gone to such lengths convincing him to look up Carson. There couldn’t have been a better way to work back into his Angel’s affections, than to win that game, look sharp and independent doing it...and then, the damned tease, hold off on closing the deal. Give it a week and Blondie will probably have lawyers inventing the man-to-man prenup.)

There’s six different kinds of shaving oil on the long fluted shelf below the sink, along with creams and perfumes and who knows what else; Tuco ignores all of them and starts shaving dry. His face is still damp, that’s good enough for him- it has to be, more often than not- 

god above, he’s tired. Or not half drunk enough. He retrieves a miniature from a roll of clean socks and polishes it off without looking at the label, feels a little better. Getting out of this house would be a start, if he can remember the way out. Maybe lift something missable, while he’s about it. 

A door opens, and Angel Eyes walks out, peers at him over the swinging doors. Clad in something it takes Tuco a moment to recognise as a bathrobe. The material’s thicker than regular terrycloth and cut a little oddly, straight down and lacking a belt loop. Something about seamless garments...but the thought slips his mind almost immediately. 

“You might as well sleep here for the night,” Angel Eyes says. “There’s six other bedrooms you can have your pick of tomorrow, but I’m not giving you the guided tour at this hour of night. Take your time in the morning, I want to have a long conversation with Blondie before I talk to you again.” 

From that angle, Tuco reckons, approximately one hundred percent of him is on display; might as well not even have a door. He carries on shaving. “You want to explain, why you’re not driving me off with a shotgun?”

“Blondie seems to want you to stay- or at least, didn’t demand that you go. For now that’s enough. There are other things you might do, to stay longer.” 

Depends on the price. Sometimes he pays it, sometimes he doesn’t, but he always hears it out, however humiliating the process of listening turns out to be. He bites back a good sharp comeback, readies himself for one more round. 

“Such as what?”

“You can second-guess him.”

“Sometimes. Sometimes, yeah- he’s my partner. What about it?”

“Teach me how to do it,” Angel Eyes says. 

Impossible. You’d have to be Blondie, to match him. 

“Sure thing. Any other little miracles you want done?”

“That’ll do for now...”

“No hay de qué,” Tuco says, easily; nicks himself across the ear, and spends the next several minutes swearing the air good and blue. 

(Confidently, though.)

[saints-row-2]

film watch day 31: Every Halloween Film

happy Halloween today i watched every Halloween film currently available to me. i couldnt get to rewatch Halloween 2018 but i already wrote about it a couple of weeks back so feel free to revisit that post. anyway, i watched ten Halloween movies today. It took around 17 hours. i started at 11:15am and im writing this now at 6 am.

so lets get to the post. for the most part i went in chronological order, except i chose to start with Rob Zombie’s remakes because i knew if i didnt id be finishing the day by watching them at the break of dawn and the idea of doing that was so fucking putrid to me that i decided to get them out of the way first.

Halloween (2007)

i hate this fucking movie. i mentioned in an ask the other day but im happy to repeat here, i dont hate the idea of expanding on Michael’s backstory. like the fact is we largely know his backstory, the issue is how this film chose to portray it. the original Halloween is frightening because its based around the idea that the seemingly safe, quiet suburbs are not as safe as they seem; you can be on a street youve known your entire life, only a few metres from your own home, and still at risk. the whole idea of showing Michael as a murderer when he was six is to tell us that anyone could be a threat, that our conventions that all killers are a particular kind of person is false.

Halloween 2007 says fuck that, we know what serial killers are, and theyre those poor kids who come from shitty neighbourhoods and have abusive parents and mothers who are sex workers. everything that Halloween brings to the table is fucking tedious, played out, and massively uninspired. it wants to bring us the truth about why Michael is like he is, but Rob Zombie’s only understanding of serial killers is in the cliche and exploitative. he has nothing honest about human nature to show us, only the exact same stories that have been fed to us by crime and horror movies past.

this film is incredibly loud and in fucking constant motion. even on steady shots of still scenes the camera constantly shakes, and in every other scene its always whirling around from tracking shot to panning over the scene to just idly zooming in and out of nothing. Zombie’s favourite shot is to have something large and out of focus in the foreground -- like some plants -- and to shoot the characters standing about six feet away muttering to themselves. every single fucking shot in this movie lingers too long, every scene drags a little longer than it needs to. this film moves with the pace that i would describe as “family guy gag”.

and this film is so loud. people are always talking or screaming, largely about nothing important or interesting. theres always music, but it never particularly adds anything; for reasons i fail to fucking understand the entirety of the original theme plays over mostly uninteresting tracking shots of a minor character walking around yelling filler lines about nothing.

the writing is horseshit. everyone in this film is vile, no one talks or behaves like real human beings. almost every exchange in this movie is the characters saying the exact same thing back and forth inanely, frequently punctuated by screaming FUCK as loudly as possible and talking about sex in a way that 40 year old men really really wished teenage girls talk about sex. Halloween (2007) is thoughtlessly gross and mean and nasty, disconnected from any kind of human sensitivity and empathy. it wants to be complicated and to be deep but its crushingly simplistic and stupid. the only thing that redeems it is that its not Halloween II (2009). speaking of which...

Halloween II (2009)

jesus christ this movie is so fucking boring. Halloween II is two hours long but feels like its about twenty hours long. i felt like i was watching this film for twenty days and twenty nights. i was trapped in an eternal purgatory with this movie.

i really cant fucking emphasise how boring this film is. endless scene after scene of nothing of consequence happening, uninteresting death scenes that add nothing, and Michael wandering around doing jack shit. Halloween II fucking made Michael Myers boring, and im saying this as someone who (as i repeat once every 8 seconds) has a tattoo of him. this film couldnt hold MY interest in two of my favourite characters of all time.

the big fun new addition from the first movie is the presence of Michael and Laurie’s mother as a kind of weird goth ghost guiding Michael to kill. i dont know why Michael had to be Jason Voorhees and be a mommy’s boy all of a sudden, but this addition brings absolutely nothing of interest to the film or to his character. its meant to be symbolic of fucking... something im sure, but it feels meaningless. somehow Michael and Laurie are both able to see and interact with this ghost and the ghost has an agenda to do... something? it feels about as intelligent and coherent as the bullshit cult of thorne shit from 6, but a lot less fun. at some point Michael Myers apparently has mind control powers?

not to repeat myself a hundred fucking times but this film is insanely unpleasant to watch. every scene someone is screaming, generally wailing “fuck you bitch” at anyone in their vicinity. this is two hours of people howling swear words at each other and not infrequently making rape jokes. Rob Zombie loves rape jokes! almost as much as he loves putting sexual assault in his movies over and over again for no reason.

there is nothing to enjoy in this film. theres nothing to gain. there is too much slow-mo and far too many strobe lights and absolutely nothing of any intelligence or grace. Halloween II is a thirteen year old boy in a korn T-shirt calling his mom a bitch while he draws zombies on  the back of his homework, which he will get an F for because the only thing he wrote was “reading is for faggots”.

Halloween (1978)

what the fuck can i say. this is one of the greatest horror movies ever made, if not the greatest. its one of my favourite movies. its forty years old and still just as chilling and frightening as it ever was. it has some shot composition and cinematography thats up with the best ive ever seen, all while being shot on a budget of $300,000. it does more with less than just about any film, launched the slasher genre, shot Jamie Lee Curtis to stardom and created a pop culture icon that stayed strong for decades. its a masterclass in tension and suspense, a lean-cut perfectly paced film with heaps of atmosphere and character.

i love this film with a frantic passion that makes me unable to talk about it in a particularly helpful way. i cant “review” Halloween. I love this film beyond reason and sense and you either get it or you dont.

Halloween II (1981)

Halloween II is largely one of the less remembered entries in the franchise; its a decent enough movie, neither matching up to the highs of the original or the lows of the later films. its a pretty enjoyable little film, created under the logic of ‘well the first one did well, lets do the same thing again’. Carpenter wrote the script but didn’t direct, and while the film has a solid story, the directing lacks his signature flair. its hard to pinpoint, because the film is generally fairly well-shot, but lacks a kind of eye for shot composition that Carpenter made look easy, doesnt have as much patience for suspense.

on its own merits, theres still some great shots and great scenes in the movie. and a lot of really cool kills; II got a lot more creative with what Michael was capable of, and i think the boiling water drowning kill is rightfully pretty infamous.

this was the last Halloween movie Carpenter wrote, and it was the film where the idea of Laurie and Michael being siblings was introduced. and believe me ill defend this fucking decision to the grave. adding the human connection between Michael and Laurie gives a whole other layer to their relationship thats so fascinating to me, and i love that other films try to expand on the themes of family. in general, deciding that this film would continue to focus on Laurie and not do what later slashers did with bouncing around between different casts was a great fucking move, ironically for a franchise that was intended to be an anthology.

quietly exploring the aftermath of the first film was a good idea for a follow-up, and i especially really enjoy Loomis’ role in this movie, and his discussion about who Myers is. the biggest disappointment for me personally is that Laurie lacks a lot of presence in this film. Curtis is great, as always, but the movie dawdles on some side characters who are too disconnected from her to get a sense of what shes going through.

all that being said, Halloween II is decent. the ending is really great, with some really powerful shots. Michael bleeding from the eyes of his mask after Laurie shoots him is one of the best fucking images in horror and him swinging blindly as Laurie and Loomis slowly orchestrate his death is a fucking amazing scene. i have an immense fondness for this movie, with all its flaws. it brings a lot of really cool concepts to the table, and i think it deserves some appreciation.

heres a question tho; where the fuck were Laurie’s parents. theres a suggestion theyre missing, but theres no explanation why and we never hear from them. did michael kill them too? hello? mr and mrs strode? your daughter just fucking killed a guy and all her friends are dead. where the fuck are you.

Halloween III: Season of the Witch

Halloween III is infamous as being the Halloween movie that isn’t about Michael Myers at all. when it first released it was wildly unpopular and remained so for quite a while, but has had a surge in popularity over the last few years. i think just about every horror critic i know now considers Halloween III one of the best in the franchise. and to be fair to it, its a great little movie. not a slasher at all but rather a conspiracy thriller, Halloween III is all about the mystery of what the Silver Shamrock mask-making company are really up to, and why people are disappearing. its a weird and creative little movie, with some really fucking great practical effects that turn it from just being a thriller to being an all-out horror film. it has a few too many ineffective jumpscares and some of the plot twists are kind of disappointing and feel a little too much like the easy option -- and then others are so wildly bizarre no one would see them coming because theyre fucking completely out there. but i kind of love that sort of nonsense in a horror movie. like lets just have a fucking good time in here for once in our fucking lives.

Halloween III is not a perfect or even a really great movie, but yknow, fuck it. the idea that only perfect films are worth watching is dumb. i appreciate the weird shit this film tried and i think it deserves a lot more respect than what it got; if it had been released under another title it probably would have gone down as a classic instead of being derided for years, you ask me.

now things start going rapidly downhill

Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers

Halloween 4 is when Jamie is introduced as the new final girl; Laurie’s seven year old daughter, after Laurie herself died off-screen in a fucking car crash. the decision to kill off Laurie came from Jamie Lee Curtis decided not to return to the character and instead of recasting her, they went with just having her… die. off-screen. in the franchise where the previous two movies were about her triumph and determination to stay alive. like its the casual thoughtlessness of this that, the idea no one would give a shit a character returned, that in my eyes epitomises how fucking little anyone cared about this franchise going forward.

man the idea of Laurie dying completely irrelevant to Michael… thats a lot. anyway continuing on his quest to erase anyone related to him, Michael starts targeting his niece Jamie for the three movies in the franchise. this is where the series started rapidly losing any grip on reality. while Michael always had some kind of superhuman elements to him (he took six bullets to the chest and survived in the first movie) these became increasingly wildly exaggerated. now hes crushing peoples skulls with his bare hands shit like what the fuck. first of all do that to me and secondly, it was this kind of slide into unreality that let the supernatural elements of the series creep in further until you end up with the shitshow that is Halloween 6. like it was the decrease in the impact of violence and human life that really fucked this franchise over.

this film is not great. its a definite decline in quality after 2 and was on the slippery slope downwards. it has some high points, primarily in Dr Loomis. Donald Pleasance is a better actor than most movies deserve and brings gravitas to a role that in the hands of a less capable actor would be laughable. his sincere plea to Michael at one point to just kill him instead of going after Jamie is honestly fucking tragic.

outside of that, the film isnt massively interesting. Michael himself isnt particularly threatening or engaging, and his mask looks like shit in this film. the characters in this film are largely very stupid, also, which doesnt help anything much.

Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers

if theres a Halloween movie people talk about the least, its this one. II has the sibling twist, III is the black sheep, 4 is the return, even 6 gets talked about for its troubled production history. no one has anything to say about Halloween 5. and thats mostly because there is fucking nothing to say about Halloween 5. it is a relentlessly fucking dull movie that pads out its 100 minute run time with endless unnecessary scenes of shit that does… nothing. this film is dull in a way that i find incredibly detestable. i cant even watch it through a haze of impassioned anger like i can with the also incredible dull Halloween II (2009). its just fucking boring. every single scene drags like its trying to walk on two broken legs. the plot is so bare bones its nonsensical. it constantly adds new characters and new elements but all that does is makes it more incoherent and confusing. watching this movie i literally found my fucking eyes glazing over in my skull. if this film was edited correctly it would be twenty minutes long. i cannot fucking emphasise enough how much of relentless slog it is. Halloween 4 was dull but even that had the lifeline of ‘some cool ideas’. Halloween 5 is nothing. Halloween 5 is puddle dirt water.

Halloween 6: The Curse of Michael Myers

if Halloween 5 is puddle dirt water Halloween 6 is just a fresh hot glass of piss. there are two versions of Halloween 6, the director’s cut and the theatrical release, and both are wretched. this film went full ham with introducing the supernatural elements, telling us that Michael was his whole life psychically controlled by a pagan cult called the Cult of Thorne in order to make Halloween scary again or summon the devil or who fucking cares. this movie is fucking insufferably dull, totally absurd, and wildly unsympathetic. i loathe Halloween 6 and every terrible, stupid plot decision it makes. Paul Rudd defeats Michael Myers by drawing druid symbols on the ground and Michael just gives up and lies down. theres a baby that does nothing and serves no purpose. Halloween is apparently banned in Haddonfield, which makes this more closely related to Footloose than Halloween i think. this film takes itself incredibly seriously while spouting nothing but total fucking bullshit drivel and i dont believe that anyone involved in this movie, from the cast to the cameraman to the guy who served the lunch had any faith in this movie outside of the vague hope it might make money and i wish this movie had been burned at the stake. also i hate Paul Rudd.

Halloween H20: 20 Years Later

oh thank fucking god finally some good fucking food. Halloween H20 took the decision to retcon all the sequels (except II) twenty years before Halloween 2018, proving that everyone knew 5 and 6 were fucking mistakes.

this film loses a lot of the Halloween feeling in favour of making a more generic late 1990s/early 2000s style horror. theres nothing particularly interesting about the way this movie is directed or shot, the music is largely very generic, it has a generally uninteresting glossy quality to it that studio movies always do. its very obvious this movie was inspired by Scream and it looks a lot more like Scream than it does Halloween. all of this makes me kind of sad, but other films in the franchise have proved that other directors generally are not capable of imitating Carpenter’s style so maybe its better they dont really try.

what H20 does so well, and the reason i love it so much, is that it explores the relationship between Michael and Laurie, which is something im endlessly fascinated with. this was the first movie to have Laurie shake off her fear and rise up against Michael, and while it doesnt do it with quite as much depth and intelligence as Halloween 2018, it still has a fucking good crack at Laurie’s character, and its still powerful watching her turn on the man who terrorised her for years. Michael is great in this movie too; while he has a terrible mask, watching him back on his shit as a furious force of nature who wants nothing more than to destroy anyone who gets in his way.

honestly i kind of enjoy having a Halloween in a different style; theres something fun about seeing characters recontextualised and done with justice and empathy. most of the Halloween sequels before this one (and after, looking at Resurrection) are shallow, unconcerned with any kind of emotional depth or personality. and while a lot of the stock filler characters in H20 who are lined up for the chopping block arent that interesting and dont particularly standout, watching Jamie Lee Curtis’ performance and seeing her interplay with Michael is enough. and most of the side characters arent particularly annoying, which is more than i can say for half this franchise.

this film also has what is one of my absolute favourite endings in a movie ever; the final confrontation between Michael and Laurie has a particular interaction between them that i absolutely adore and that alone is enough to make this movie one of my favourites.

H20 isnt perfect; it weirdly feels like a blueprint that Halloween 2018 would later refine into a better movie, but the idea its going to be completely disregarded for Halloween 2018 in the future makes me a little sad. in the face of so many fucking mediocre and awful Halloween sequels it did the right thing in trying to focus on what actually mattered; the connection between Michael and Laurie, although i dont feel like it succeeded in making Michael as scary as 2018 would much later. that said, the shot where Michael and Laurie just stare at each other through the glass of a window? that gives me chills every time. and hearing the Halloween theme kick in as Laurie marches off into the school with an axe looking for Michael is so fucking triumphant.

i love H20 even if Michael’s mask looks like his hair was dunked in a bucket of water and then gently blow-dried. i have no idea why it looks so fucking stupid in this movie. why is it so hard to get Michael’s mask right. you wouldnt think it was that fucking hard. anyway, i really fucking love Laurie Strode a lot, which didnt help to make Resurrection any easier to swallow.

Halloween: Resurrection

so whats the obvious thing to do after you have a movie where the power and emotion all comes from the emotional catharsis of seeing a woman get her vengeance on her tormentor? you, uh, make a sequel in which she is immediately defeated and pointlessly killed after its revealed her victory at the end of the previous film was entirely false, and then you never return to focus on her and instead introduce a horde of entirely uninteresting stock characters. yeah, makes sense.

Resurrection is fucking incredibly stupid, in the kind of fucking hysterical way only really bad horror movies can capture. theres absolutely nothing of Halloween in this other than the presence of Michael, who just as easily could have been replaced with anyone or anything. the story has a group of people on a reality show staying in the Myers house to… stay there? its not entirely clear what the challenge is meant to be, other than to just be inside the house, which i imagine gets to be pretty dull viewing pretty quickly. theres no suggestion theyre like, hunting for ghosts or something along those lines, theyre just… looking at stuff.

Michael slopes around this movie like he doesnt fucking understand where he is or whats going on, an entirely out of place relic of better times past while the cast cavorts around him doing nothing of interest and having no plots or characterisation to speak of. the film has exactly two or three funny moments, including the legendary ‘Michael Myers getting electrocuted in the dick by Busta Rhymes’, but youre way, way better off just looking that up on youtube instead of watching this movie. there is an hour of pointless plot development about characters no one cares about until Michael starts fucking killing people. this movie shouldnt exist and we should all go back to pretending it doesnt.

and thats it. thats all the halloween films. i can die now.