#i deeply apologize to all the breaking bad fans out there for this one

[mylittlestims]

just had a really stupid idea but what about a stimboard of that one walter white pony

Here you go Anon, here's the Heisenbuck Stimboard

(X) (X) (X)

(X) (X) (X)

(X) (X) (X)

[chocostrwberry]

How my mlb chocoau starts:

Marinette’s alarm wakes her up, and she drowsily turns it off. She checks the time, and signs before getting out of bed. Marinette waiting for the bus to school, but notices a struggling old man with large bags. She checks the time for her bus, then glances back at the old man. She thinks about ignoring him, but can’t bring herself to do it. She helps him, and he thanks her deeply. He insists she takes a pair of earrings, but she says she does not need any gift. She realizes she missed her bus, and is forced to walk all the way to school.

This is directly copy and pasted from my notes, and it is also a LOT OF TEXT. So I apologize for gaps and grammatically incorrect sentences!

PERSPECTIVE CHANGE

Adrien is driving to school in a limousine. There are fans waiting outside the school, and he steps out with security. A girl is screaming his name, and he turns around and gives her a smile and a wave. Natalie looks at him disapprovingly, but he just smiles back at her. Chloe greets him at the entrance. She runs up to him with a hug and kisses his cheeks. Rose asks Adrien for an autograph, but Chloe insults and declines her. She then tells him that they can’t be nice to people like her or else they’ll come begging for more.

PERSPECTIVE CHANGE

Class has started, and Marinette gets there just in time. Everyone is looking at her curiously, and the teacher asks her to sit down. Embarrassed, she tries to find an empty seat and sits down. Chloe starts insulting Mylene, saying she is dirty because her father is the janitor. Marinette defends her, and Chloe doesn’t like it.

During break time, she gets the cake for her classmates from her locker. Marinette is walking to class with the cake, but Chloe stops her. She says how pretty it is, and Marinette tries to move past her, but Chloe shoves her and Sabrina trips her from behind, causing the cake to fall and create a mess. Chloe laughs as Sabrina films her on the ground. Marinette looks up Adrien. He looks at her with pity and confusion, but glances at Chloe, who is grinning maliciously at him. He feels pressured to laugh along, so he does, humiliating Marinette.

he runs off to the bathroom and cries in a stall. Alya and Nino go to check on her, but she won’t come out. Alya asks if she can stay in the stall with her, since she doesn’t want to leave, and Marinette says okay.

PERSPECTIVE CHANGE

Adrien asks Chloe about what she did to Marinette, and Chloe insists she deserves it. She needed to know her place. Chloe tells him not to feel so bad about it, and says it’s not like she can do anything about it. Adrien goes to fidget for his necklace, but realizes he’s not wearing it. Adrien starts to panic and looks around frantically.

Chloe asks what his problem is, but he just runs away, leaving her calling after him.

PERSPECTIVE CHANGE

Marinette is leaving the bathroom with Alya, wearing Nino’s jacket to cover the cake stains on her shirt. Marinette notices Adrien’s necklace on the ground and picks it up. Alya says it’s pretty, and Marinette says it is Adrien’s. Nino suggests throwing it away or selling it, but Marinette hesitantly says no. Alya urges her, saying he was with Chloe and deserves it. Besides, he probably has countless more priceless ones. Marinette thinks about it, but then decides to do the right thing. She leaves them to go look for Adrien.

She finds him looking around in the courtyard, and tells him she has his necklace. She hands it over, and Adrien is embarrassed yet fascinated by her kindness. She says it’s no big deal, then leaves. He holds the necklace, and a flashback of his mother giving him the necklace. Marinette’s face is still on his mind.

Marinette is in her room after school when she realizes she has the earrings the old man tried to give her. She puts them on, and summons Tikki on accident.

She screams, trying to swat her away, but Tikki insists she calms down.

Tikki explains who she is to Marinette who is still in shock. She warns her about the danger of Hawkmoth, and how when he finds out she has the miraculous, he will come for her.

Marinette is terrified, and asks what she can do to defend herself. Tikki tells her about the summoning phrase, but Marinette accidentally repeats it and becomes Ladybug.

Ladybug is surprised, but decides to test her powers. She zips around Paris, and ends up on the news, where Hawkmoth sees. He creates an akuma to take back the miraculous.

Ladybug realizes she needs to fight it, like Tikki said, but struggles to do so.

PERSPECTIVE CHANGE

Adrien is shopping with Chloe, and the Akuma creates a disaster. He rushes Chloe and Sabrina behind a tree, but sees a woman with her baby stuck. Without hesitation, he runs to help the woman even though there is danger all around them. Master Fu sees this, and slips him the cat miraculous by shaking his hand and saying something in Chinese, confusing Adrien momentarily.

Adrien encourages Chloe to go home, and he is about to as well. When he is alone, Plagg emerges and says they don’t have time to get through introductions.

He says that girl with the spotted outfit needs his help, and only Adrien can save her. Adrien asks why he would do that, and Plagg gives a half-baked response saying it’s because he’s a “good person”.

Marinette’s face comes to mind, and he wants to be like her. So he agrees.

PERSPECTIVE CHANGE

Ladybug is growing tired of evacuating citizens and defending. Soon she will have no energy left to actually fight the akuma.

Ladybug is about to cry, but realizes she is the city’s only hope against this villain. So, she uses her bug-sight to devise a plan. However, she is too clumsy and tired to execute it and ends up failing and falling. She is caught by a mysterious figure

She looks up dreamily at her rescuer, and he introduces himself hastily as Chat Noir

Ladybug notices another civilian needs help, and goes to help them. Chat noir quickly has to defend them both from flying rubble while she gets them to safety.

Chat Noir asks for a plan, and Ladybug says she has one, but it’s hard to get it to work. Chat Noir says he’ll do whatever she asks, and Ladybug blushes while saying thank you.

Chat Noir tries to attack the akuma, but it swats him away. Ladybug expresses concerns but Chat Noir seems exhilarated. The akuma realizes both of the miraculous are there, so they attack them. Chat Noir guides Ladybug to safety while they both run away.

Ladybug says they need to bring the akuma to the football field, since there should be no one there. She tries to explain her plan, but Chat Noir doesn’t understand any of it, so he simply says he’ll go along with it.

They get to the football field, and Ladybug lucky charms because she needs an extra tool.

She uses her bug sight to formulate a plan, and with his help they tie up the akuma. They are excited, and they seem to be having fun working together.

Once the akuma is taken down, Ladybug notices the butterfly. Chat Noir is about to shoot it down, but Ladybug stops him and cleanses the butterfly instead before fixing all the damage.

Ladybug helps the akumatized person up, asking if he’s alright. Chat Noir notices and smiles.

The press is there to interview their heroes, and Ladybug looks disoriented. Chat Noir holds her hand and tells her to “smile and wave”. They look great together :)

THE END! :D

[akirathedramaqueen]

There's one piece of concept art that made me see the entire Apology Tour disaster in a different light.

So, we've been talking with @warblogs17282 about Stolitz and how their break-up ended up playing out in the 'Apology Tour' episode.

Why ended up? Well, there's a collection of concept art which, to my limited understanding of this craft, is one of the first steps in the production process of animation. This post by @birdy-babe includes a great chunk of it, shared by artists after the episodes aired (like storyboards, but much more stylised, showing how different some original ideas were). Long story short, one of the concept arts from the 'Apology Tour' episode suggests their quarrel was originally meant to be much harsher.

A short summary of the concept art to see what we are dealing with

In the background, you see a lot of apology postcards and silly cutesy stationery, suggesting Blitzø is in the middle of his Apology Tour.

The contact name isn't 'Stols' but 'Bird Dick,' implying their relationship is at an earlier stage, with less respect—at least on Blitzø's part.

There's a photo partially cut by the edge of the messages screen. From the signature gloves and boots, cowboy hat covering Blitzø's private parts, and visible nipples, it appears to be a nude image—replaced in later stages of development with stupid gay affirmation memes (as hard as it is to believe, I couldn't imagine there could be anything worse than the Striker horse gay jokes... well, it could, my dudes, it fucking COULD).

There are three messages, one of which is unsent:

"Stolas, cum awwwwwwn, u no u want it :)"—likely attached to the nude;

"Dude just talk to me"—desperation crawls in; he finally realises the shit has hit the fan;

"Im sowwy :("—an apology, but the text remains unsent, perhaps because it seems pointless, given that the 'Not Delivered' notifications and warning signs indicate Stolas has blocked his number.

Why do I find this fascinating, and why does it fill me with immense hope?

Because they still fucking care so much, and neither has completely closed the door on the other. By comparing the concept art to the final product, you can see how many intentional choices were made in dialogue, visuals, and behaviour to make it clear that these two idiots still want things to continue. Stolitz is meant to fucking live.

Now, if you want to see some comparisons—evidence, really—let's dive into each other's changes, focusing on what we can gather from the concept art.

Blitzø's side

Change 1—thank gods, no nudes. The gay memes are sillier and a bit lighter. Of course, they still showcase utter disrespect, a horrible prejudice against sexuality, and a poor understanding of how deeply Stolas was hurt, but I find them... less bad.

Change 2—no more 'Bird Dick.' Blitzø has actually come up with a real nickname for Stolas! Feelings are boring for you, huh, Blitzø? I can almost hear the song’s lines: "O-oh, hooked, addicted you might say, conflicted in a way…"

Change 3—Blitzø's attempts to apologize now show much more contemplation. Since Stolas hasn’t blocked him, Blitzø knows his words aren’t just being thrown into the void. Although the 'unsent' detail remains, it now carries real weight and impact.

All three changes are seen in these two GIFs.

He knows he did wrong. He knows he wants to salvage it. He might not yet know how to do it healthily, but he tries—he tries so fucking hard!

Look at the range of raw, cutting emotions as he speaks to Stolas and finally delivers his apology—probably the only one he genuinely meant. Well, maybe except for Verosika, a bit later.

It's not that it's hard for Blitzø to say 'sorry'—we've seen him do it a lot lately. He's actually quick to apologise and take responsibility, so Stolas's remark about him not feeling any remorse couldn’t be further from the truth. But the fact that he isn't running away this time—chasing after Stolas and trying his best to mend things—is drastically different from how he treated Verosika back then.

Stolas's side

Here’s the moment that struck me deep. It’s the only change, since the concept art shows Blitzø’s POV, but it’s such a significant one.

Do you think Stolas has moved on? Do you think he’s done with Blitzø? Not convinced, even when he’s literally singing about still wanting Blitzø?

Well, here’s your proof—he didn’t block Blitzø. They scrapped that.

More than that, the entire interaction emphasizes that Stolas isn’t pushing Blitzø away for good.

How do I know this? Stolas is very insistent on using phrases like 'for now,' 'right now,' and 'now' throughout his attempts to tell Blitzø off.

Here are some citations:

"I was hoping my lack of 'ha-ha's' in response to the photos you sent me would be an indicator I didn't want to talk right now."

"Seeing you right now is hard!"

"I'm tired of this! I'm uncomfortable with how you're speaking to me now!"

Why is this so important? Because he isn’t asking Blitzø to leave him forever. All he’s asking for is time.

Even while hurt, Stolas gives Blitzø plenty of chances to explain himself civilly. Look at the hopeful glances each time Blitzø shows any glimpse of genuineness.

Stolas fucking hopes Blitzø will take back all the cruel things said and brash actions done.

You know, Stolas... I've spent the entirety of this morning listening to love ballads, and that was...

For what?! You want me to be like, "Oh sorry, this entire time I assumed the worst because I was convinced a prince could never love someone like me and I've let my self-hatred stop me from apologising to anyone I could ever care about!"

You see the furrowed brows and the sad look? Stolas hopes for the best... but gets the worst because Blitzø isn’t there yet.

I’d even go so far as to say Stolas is acutely aware that Blitzø uses his brashness as a shield to protect himself. He literally sang about it in 'Just Look My Way.'

Unless it's me? And no matter what in this world I could give, it's not enough to get through these walls you've conjured up to live.

So, what gives?

Is this the behaviour of people who want to give up on a relationship they still clearly hold dear?

No. Even when they’re angry, aggressive, hurt, or drunk, they still seek understanding and forgiveness. They continue to listen and try.

They might lack the skills and may choose the wrong time, place, or words to express what truly matters...

One person, scared of being rejected so much that he unconsciously conveys this message by saying, "You don’t have to stay here with me," and carrying it throughout the whole conversation...

The other, coming to terms with his feelings, admits them, and his fears, a bit too late—when his romantic interest is too drunk to comprehend anything…

And in both cases—self-loathing, self-hatred, doubts, scars, trauma… and a lack of hope.

But there is hope. No, this is reassurance, my folks.

You know when it's hardest to stay in a relationship? When it’s hardest to come and say, "I am sorry," when it’s hardest to still love the person?

When you’re hurt. When they’ve hurt you.

And, despite that, you still come to them and still want to talk to them.

If this isn’t ironclad evidence that this is more than just a fling or a couple of fun sex dates, I don’t know what is.

And the 'Apology Tour' fucking proves it, rather than ruins it. It only strengthens the point. It’s easy to live in happiness, but it’s so hard to go through it while you’re in pain. When you see them doing that, you realise it means everything to them.

Stolitz is to live.

[writtenfangirl]

Car's Outside

Inspired by Car's Outside by James Arthur!

This went through an extensive rewrite/editing process so hopefully, it's good!

I tried matching up the dates as much as possible so hopefully things don't get confusing <3

Edit: I posted this before qualifying for the Mexico GP thinking “I need something to make me feel better” after the inevitable news that the GP will break my heart only to wake up to news that Charles is on Pole with Carlos at P2 and Danny Ric at P4. I just need this to happen so bad I will literally cry if this happens

I'm packin' my bags that I didn't unpack the last time I'm sayin', "See you again," so many times, it's becoming my tagline But you know the truth, I'd rather hold you Than try to catch this flight So many things I'd rather say But for now, it's goodbye

“I’m sorry,” Charles frowned. His breath fanned across her face, his forehead connected to her own. Y/N’s eyes were closed, head tilted upwards as she breathed him in.

Y/N knew Charles had to leave. It’s his job. Unlike most couples, she didn’t have the luxury of spending every minute of every second of every day with her boyfriend. Not when he was a world-famous Formula One driver whose job meant he was in a different city every week. And though Y/N enjoyed the privilege of freely going in and out of every paddock in the world because of her connections, it wasn’t a privilege she could exercise frequently. Not when she was an international lawyer also tasked with jet setting to other countries of the world. 

But they loved each other and so they made it work. Or, at least, tried to.

“Don’t apologize,” Y/N said with a rueful smile. Beneath the musky smell of his cologne, Y/N could smell him, familiar and deep, as if the very essence of him had lodged itself in her nose, up her brain, and made a home for himself. “I understand.”

“I wish I didn’t have to go,” Charles sighed, voice deep, as he, too, breathed her in deeply. “I’d rather hold you, here, forever, than catch a stupid plane.”

“You say that now, but when you win a race, you’ll forget all about me,” she teased, opening her eyes to meet Charles’s brilliant greens.

“Not true, cherie. You’re always the first thing I think of when I win. Every win is for you.” And, as if to emphasize the point, he placed a soft kiss on her nose.

Y/N rolled her E/C eyes, a wide smile stretching across her face at the kiss despite herself. “Charles, I’m already your girlfriend. There’s no need for your sweet words to convince me to be yours.”

“It’s the truth, cherie,” he chuckled, “I always think of you first, win or lose. That’s how much I love you.”

“I love you, too.” And then she pulled his face to hers, placing a kiss on his lips that had him grinning against her like a little school boy offered candy by his mother. He pulled her to him tightly, his arms wrapping around her waist as her hands wound itself around his soft hair. Kissing him always made her feel so dizzy, like the very air in her lungs left her to make space for him. She didn’t mind it one bit. She’d make space for him in every inch of her if she could. 

But one of them had to be responsible and it certainly wouldn’t be Charles. So, despite not wanting to, Y/N found herself pulling away, breathing heavy as her hands trailed from his head, down his neck and on his chest. She resisted the urge to smirk at finding his heart beating just as fast as her own.

“You’re making it harder for me to leave, cherie,” Charles panted, his hair mused where she threaded her fingers.

“Good,” she grinned as she reached up and flattened his head, “you should miss me as much as I miss you. Now go, Leclerc, or else I’ll receive a phone call from Carlos complaining that you kept them waiting.”

“I’ll see you again, cherie,” he smiled, eyes tinged with sadness.

“Of course you will. Good bye for now, mon amour.”

“Good bye for now.” And with one last kiss, Charles left. The door to their house closed behind him, the click echoing around their empty living room. All Y/N could hear was the sound of her own breathing, and when she was sure that he was far enough away, she finally released a sob that had her chest caving, her heart suddenly feeling like beads inside a hollow rattle.

I'm starin' at the same four walls in a different hotel It's an unfamiliar feelin' but I know it so well Oh, but you know the truth, I'd rather hold you Than this mobile in my hand But I guess it'll do, 'cause for you I would run up my phone bill

You say I'm always leavin' You, when you need me the most But the, the car's outside

Y/N didn’t think he was serious about getting on a flight back home, especially when she knew how busy he was on Friday on a race week. Not to mention the fact that the race this week was in Mexico, halfway across the world. But here he was, in the flesh, staring at her with those bright green eyes that she adored so much.

Of course, she should have expected this. Charles was nothing if not determined and when he said he was going to do something, he usually did it.

“You wanted to talk, so let’s talk.” Charles said as he barreled into their shared apartment, pushing past her and towards the living room, “I can’t stay long. Joris and Enzo are waiting outside to take me back to the airport.”

Past the front door, Y/N saw Lorenzo leaning against an expensive looking sports car next to Joris. Enzo as lifted a hand in greeting while Joris smiled at her. Y/N returned the greetings before she closed the door and turned to her boyfriend. Her brows were furrowed as she frowned at him, following him to their spacious living room. “What are you doing here? You have a race!”

“You wouldn’t answer my calls and I can’t race properly when I know we’re not okay.” Charles said as he ran his hands through his curls, sticking them up in odd angles. With a jolt, Y/N realized how long his hair was. The last time she saw him, he had just gotten a fresh cut from Pascale but now his hair was touching the nape of his neck. Has it really been that long?

Y/N took a deep breath before she spoke, gathering her patience as into a tight ball like freshly spun yarn. “Charles, this can wait—“

“No, it can’t,” Charles interjected, his words clipped and his tone sharp. “You were the one who wanted to talk and I’m already here so let’s talk. Do you want to end things or not, Y/N?”

“What?” She exclaimed, surprised at the sudden question. She wanted many things to happen but breaking up was definitely not on the list of things she wanted to do with him. Yes, they had their issues but she couldn’t imagine any of them could be solved by ending their relationship. “Of course not! Do you want to end things?”

Charles looked offended at the question. “No! I don’t want to end things. I want us to be together!”

“You sure don’t act like it!” She snapped before she could think about her next words. Part of her wished she could gobble up the words, stuff them back in her mouth before he could hear them but it was too late. Charles’ expression turned wounded, but his words held anger when he spoke.

“I told you about this before we started dating! I told you about my busy schedule. You came into this relationship with both eyes open, Y/N. Don’t act like you didn’t know about how busy I get!”

Y/N looked at him as if he’d grown two heads. She was beginning to get irrationally angry, and though Y/N was usually very good at compartmentalizing, there was something about the argument that had her wanting to scream. “Dammit, Charles! I know I signed up for this when we started dating but I also signed up for the breaks in between! I thought we could make it work then. But even during the breaks, you’re not here! And I make the time and I make the sacrifices to be here so imagine my disappointment when you don’t!”

“I told you to come to my races!” He yelled, his voice loud and echoing in their living room. His face was beginning to flush in anger, green eyes blazing as he spoke to her. “You’re always welcome there. I don’t know why you never come!”

“It’s hard to find any time to come to your races when I planned all of my time off around your breaks, Charles!” She yelled back. “Because, believe it or not, I don’t want to share you! Not when I barely see you as is. When I come to your races, I know you’ll be too busy doing your job to accommodate me and that’s okay. It’s more than fine. I’m happy to watch you do what you love to do. But, I want to at least see you. To feel you and hear you and talk to you. And I can’t do that during a race weekend because you’re busy and I refuse to be the clingy girlfriend trying to catch all of your attention. I planned my days off around your break period because I figured, that’s when I’ll see you more and actually spend some meaningful time together. But you’re never around! I get it, Charles. Ferrari comes first. I know what I signed up for. But lately, they’ve been coming second and third and fourth. When will it be my turn, Charles? Am I even on the list of your priorities?”

“Of course you are!”

“It sure doesn’t seem like it.”

Charles looked at her as if she’d struck him. “How can you say that when you know it’s not true. I love you, Y/N. You know that.”

She sighed, some of the fight leaving her body. “I do know that, Charles. I never said you didn’t love me. But just because you love me doesn’t mean I feel loved by you. I want to make things work. I try to make things work. But, sometimes it feels like you’re never around. And, I get it, you have a demanding job—“

“Don’t put all of this on me like your job is easy.” He scoffed, his eyes flashing in annoyance once again. “Your schedule is even more demanding than mine, and I’m sure that with your new job, you’ll have even less time for me.”

“Are you serious, Charles?” She hissed, her anger coming back in droves at his words, “You’re putting this on me? I make the time for you! Rather than seeing my family and friends during my breaks, I’m in Monaco for you and you always cancel on me at the last minute and I never complain! You were the one who missed our anniversary dinner!”

“And you miss my races!”

“You missed my promotion!”

“You never told me about your promotion!”

“How can I when you ditched me on our anniversary!” 

“I told you why I missed it! The upgrades were important—“

“AM I NOT IMPORTANT, CHARLES?” She screamed. Briefly, she wondered if their neighbors could hear them, if Enzo and Joris could but she couldn’t bring herself to care. She couldn’t bring herself to look at him, couldn’t bring herself to lift her gaze at him as she said her next words softly, the fight leaving her body. “The anniversary wasn’t the only thing you missed. You missed my birthday, too. You didn’t even greet me but I took it to stride because I knew you were busy. I didn’t complain until now because I understood. Even when you promised me you’d fly home for your birthday so we can celebrate together and then you cancelled because of the Ferrari party and the interview, I understood. I plan all of my time off around you and never around my family or my friends, who, by the way, live in another country because I know you want to spend time with me. I always understand, Charles. I understand so much that sometimes I feel like I’m always making the sacrifices for our relationship and never you. And whenever I think to myself, I wish he’d choose me for once, it makes me feel like I’m a terrible person because I know you’re out there trying to achieve your dreams just like me and yet here I am, complaining that I don’t get enough time with you. You’re always promising to make it up to me but you never do and—” A familiar lump formed at the back of her throat, choking her words as a searing heat prickled the back of her eyes.

She loved Charles, she really did. But it was beginning to feel like that love was one sided. She wasn’t stupid. She knew what loving a man like him entailed. She expected that they’ll rarely see each other but at the rate things were going, they didn’t see each other at all. And judging by the way Charles was looking at her, with the anger in his eyes replaced by shame, he was beginning to realize that too.

“I missed your birthday?” Charles said taken aback. 

“You were in Canada,” she shrugged miserably, “you were busy. I didn’t think I should remind my boyfriend when my birthday is. If you couldn’t remember, that just means you had more important things in mind.”

Shame coated his eyes as realization dawned on him. “I can’t believe I missed your birthday.”

She sniffled as she swiped at the tears that began to collect in her eyes. “It’s fine—“

“No, it’s not. I am an asshole, cherie,” Charles groaned as he pulled her in his embrace. His chest was warm, his arms even warmer as he tucked her head under his chin. “I’m so sorry. You’re right. I’m always apologizing to you and it’s not right. None of this is your fault. I’m sorry for saying those terrible things to you. I can’t believe you put up with me treating you like this for a whole year. Missing your birthday, and my birthday and our anniversary. Fuck, you’re right and it doesn’t make you a bad person to think those things because you’re right. I’m so sorry.”

Oh, darling, all of the city lights Never shine as bright as your eyes I would trade them all for a minute more But the car's outside And he's called me twice

Guilt, heavy and shameful, curled in his insides. 

No wonder she was so upset with him. Every iota of her fury and more, he deserved for the shitty way he’s been treating her.

“I’m so sorry, cherie,” Charles mumbled against her hair. The smell of her shampoo, as familiar to him as his own was, invaded his sense. “I’m so sorry.”

He could feel her hands begin to wrap around his midsection. It was soft at first, tentative, before she tightened her hold on him like she was stuck in the middle of the sea and he was the lifeboat that saved her. He could feel her leaning her weight against him, the feel of her body a reassuring weight he didn’t realize he lost but was finding his whole life.

“I’m staying,” he said, pressing kisses against her head in between his words, “we’re going to celebrate everything. Your birthday, mine, our anniversary, even your promotion. You deserve as much. You deserve even more. Come fly with me, baby. Let’s go, wherever you want.”

“What do you mean?” Y/N said as she pulled away from him, eyes wide as she peered at him through her lashes.

“I’m staying here, in Monaco, with you.” He said slowly, conviction filling him as he said the words.

She gave him a dubious look. “Charles, it’s a race week. We both know you can’t miss that. It’s in Mexico for crying out loud! That’s why halfway across the world. You need to be back on the plane now if you want to make it back by Sunday.”

“I don’t care.” He said stubbornly. “None of it matters without you. Ferrari already took my breaks. I can sacrifice a race or two” And then his lips pulled into a rueful smile. “Besides, I’m not in the running for the championship anyway.”

Her eyes were still twinkling from the unshed tears, and despite the frown pulling at her lips, Charles had never thought she looked as beautiful as she did today. “But Charles, I have a job to do. I’m set to leave for London two days from now.”

His phone rang, interrupting their conversation. He fished it out of his pocket with a sigh, seeing Enzo’s face flashing on the screen. His arms were still wrapped around Y/N as he answered the phone

“Charles, nous devons partir,” Enzo urged.. (Charles, we need to leave.)

“I’m not going anywhere,” Charles replied, eyes trained on Y/N, who was watching the whole exchange with wide, reproachful eyes. “I’m right where I need to be.”

“Quoi?” (What)

“Cancel my flight, Enzo. I’m not going back. You and Joris can go home. Tell Maman I love her,” he said, ending the call before his brother could protest.

“Charles you can’t just leave in the middle of the weekend.” Y/N said, looking at him like he’d grown two heads.

“Yes, I can.” He said determinedly as he placed his hands on the side of her face, caressing her cheek as he stared deeply into her eyes in an effort to try and make her understand just how serious he really was. “I’m not racing this week. Or next week.”

“You’re going to miss Brazil too?”

“Yes. It’s time I choose you for once. I’ll race back in Vegas and Abu Dhabi but they’re lucky they’ll get even that. I chose them time and time again, cherie, and it’s not right. This is me making it up to you.” He pulled her face to his, placing a kiss on her lips. It was slow and languid, like the winding of a stopped clock that you’re trying to make right. Charles knew how lucky he was to have Y/N and she didn’t deserve to be forgotten, especially not like this. All he’s done was give her empty promises and if there was anyone in the world that deserved the best, it was her.

She pulled away from the kiss, loss of her making him groan. “What about my job? I have so much to do when I get to London. I won’t be in Monaco until the first week of November and the breaks will be far and few in between.”

“Then take me with you. Wherever you go, I’ll follow,” he said before pulling her into another kiss, this one searing and needy. He felt her pull him towards her, closing whatever distance was between them until their bodies lined flushed against the other. He could feel her figure through their clothes, feel the way her breath hitched as his hands found themselves on her waist, thumbs skimming the soft feel of her skin. She gasped at his touch and the feral feeling that seized him had the tether in him snapping. He kissed her harder, hands winding down to the back of her legs and lifting her. Almost instinctively, Y/N’s legs wrapped around his waist, her feet crossing at his back. Her hands wound themselves around his hair, pulling at the strands in a delicious way that made him shudder. 

How could he choose Ferrari over and over again when they would never be able to make him feel this way? He doubted not even winning a race in Monaco would feel as she good as she does.

His phone rang again, interrupting their moment. Charles groans as he pulled away and Y/N’s laugh rang around their living room. If another phone call interrupts them again, he’s getting rid of this thing. He clicked the green button, Fred’s face flashing as he answered the call with one hand while the other continued to grip Y/N.

“Charles—“

“I’ll see you in Vegas, Fred.” Was the only thing he said before Charles clicked the red button and tossed the phone aside, focusing his whole attention back on his girlfriend.

But he's gonna have to wait tonight I'm not gettin' in the Addison Lee Unless you pack your bags You're comin' with me I'm tired of lovin' from afar And never being where you are Close the windows, lock the doors Don't wanna leave you anymore

“You mean it? You’re really skipping Mexico and Brazil for me?” Y/N asked, her voice hopeful as she spoke. Her arms were wrapped around his neck, fingers playing at the strands of his hair.

“I am.” He said with all the seriousness he could muster. “I love you, cherie, and I want to love you by your side. You’re my number one priority and I’m sorry that it took me so long to remember that. I know I’ll have to leave again but that doesn’t mean I have to leave you. I love you, cherie. Will you let me come with you?”

“Of course I will.” She smiled, before she leaning her face to him, continuing their kiss right were they left off. 

[izzysillyhandsy]

How I learned to stop being angry and love the Death Scene (for now)

This may be a controversial take, but I've come to the conclusion that Izzy's death scene maybe wasn't badly written after all.

There is one big aspect of this scene that I really love: it was 100% in character for Izzy AND Ed (and everyone else too) at that point in their story.

BUT it only works if we are not expected to believe that 1. this was in any way a happy ending for any of them and 2. that this arc is finished.

If Izzy stays dead permanently, his death and the way it happened, what was said and notably what wasn't, was tragic for everyone involved - especially Ed - and we should feel bad about it. This isn't an uplifting scene of closure for either Izzy or Ed, and it is totally understandable that most Izzy fans were crushed by it (and Ed fans, even those who don't like Izzy, should be too!).

If there is no possibility that anyone, in any way, can talk to Izzy ever again and (in Ed's case) clean up the mess between them - then this is not a comedy any more. It's a tragedy. And it should be treated as such by the show and the creators (and this might be where disappointment lies waiting).

The death scene by itself though was fitting, if we look at where Ed and Izzy are on their character arcs at the end of S2. It played out exactly as I'd have expected.

Izzy - All about Eddie

The main problem I (and many others) had with Izzy's death scene is that it is all about Ed.

Izzy is apologizing for everything that happened, including Ed cutting his fuckin' leg off. He is reassuring Ed that he wants to go, it's ok, no need to be sad. He encourages Ed to be soft, emotional, himself. He tells him that his biggest fear, being unloveable to anyone except Izzy, isn't real - he has a family now.

And, now that I've had time to think about it, I realized: YES this is exactly what Izzy would do.

All of S2 was about Izzy breaking the chain, but until the end it was still all about Ed for him (because it's not as easy as cutting off a rotten leg, unfortunately). Izzy would make his last moments about Ed, trying to do as much good as possible in the short time he had left. Or, trying to undo as much of what he thought he'd done wrong.

And I really don't want to take away from Izzy's accomplishments and character growth in S2. He'd come so far already! After years and years of singleminded devotion and love he'd finally realized that their form of entanglement was destructive.

Izzy broke up with Ed in Ep2 - and it almost killed him both of them. He started to look for meaning outside of his relationship with Ed, rediscovering aspects of himself that had long been buried and forgotten. He began, tentatively, to form bonds to members of the crew and put himself out there, away from Ed's side, away from being Ed's voice and Ed's hands, ruled by Ed's emotions.

But there wasn't enough time: still, everything he did was, in one way or another, at least partly about Ed.

Whittling - a Blackbeard metaphor Training Stede - "What did he say about me specifically" La vie en rose - a love song about "the one" and promises for life Hiya boys - oh my god he's trying so hard here but this is killing him, isn't it Bonding with Stede at Jackie's - "He's a complicated man" The Ricky monologue - so much passion behind every word, not getting what you want, letting go of ego for something larger - the whole speech was (at least partly) about Ed

(I believe the first Ricky monologue about belonging is more about Ed than the crew and I know this is not a popular take. Still, for me it makes sense because this is how Izzy felt for decades. I don't think he has shaken that mindset yet - give up your ego, your own dreams and personality for something larger - Ed&Izzy or Blackbeard. When he says "he crew" it feels like a bit of an afterthought - there is a pause.)

So, at the end of S2, Izzy is not over Ed at all - he's deeply hurt, feels incredibly guilty (unreasonably so!) and is repressing a lot of what happened.

He's still so entangled with Ed - if this is his last chance to make things right, he will.

And as much as I would have loved seeing Izzy dying surrounded by his loving family, he wasn't there yet. Not as long as Ed was around. And I think the crew understood. They understood Izzy more then he understood himself at one point ("You're in a toxic relationship with Blackbeard"). They understood what he was going through, and they gave him space to say goodbye to the man he had loved for his whole life.

Izzy died how he lived - all wrapped up in Eddie. And at this point in his life, I wouldn't have expected anything else.

Ed - All about us, you and Me

I love the symbolism of these 2 frames - while Izzy's bloody hand is entangled in Ed's hair until death (and beyond), Ed's bloody hand is putting a distance between Izzy and everyone else but himself.

I wonder how Ed would have taken it if it had been the other way round - if Izzy had found himself a Stede at the start of S1.

I think not well is an understatement.

Even though Ed seems constantly annoyed by Izzy in S1 (and violently destructive towards him in S2), at no point did I get the impression that he actually wanted Izzy to leave, for Izzy to love him less intently or be less devoted.

But, it wasn't very much about Izzy as a person, or Izzy's happiness, or their shared happiness anymore. I think Ed saw himself and Izzy as "together forever, us two against the world", but without putting any work in or pausing to think how Izzy was actually feeling (and I am 100% sure that Ed knew how much Izzy loved him and how little love he got in return).

But being with Izzy was Ed's whole life, they were two halves of the same whole, and Ed even kinda expected Izzy to stay around after he fell in love with Stede ("We could have worked this out!") and didn't really think about how this never, ever could have worked out for the kind of relationship they were having (this is how Steddyhands... was so compelling actually).

So is it any wonder that, in Izzy's last moments on earth, Ed wants to have him all to himself? He sends Stede away. He signals the crew to stay (waaayy) back. He cradles Izzy in his arms, his back to the crew and everyone else who loved him.

And although, at the start, he tries to get a word in (to apologize back, to tell him he's forgiven) - Izzy dies without hearing anything that wasn't directly related to Ed and Ed's feelings.

Ed never tells him he loves him. He doesn't tell him how much Izzy will be missed for himself and not for what he could do for Ed. How important he was to Ed all those years.

The only thing Izzy gets from Ed before he dies is "You can't go. You can't leave me. Please! You're my only family."

What will happen to Ed? You can't do this to Ed! Ed has noone else! And as sad as this is, it is in character for him at this point in his life.

Ed is fundamentally a very self-centered (and self-hating) person, and his journey towards change had just begun with his death and rebirth. And just like Izzy, he would have needed much more time to grow (although Izzy'd gotten much, much further than Ed).

At Calypso's birthday, I think for the first time in forever, Ed saw Izzy as his own person, someone who he could actually love apart from this Ed-Izzy union they had going for so long. But only a few days (I guess?) later, Izzy dies.

So, at the end of S2, Ed still sees Izzy as "his" to a degree, sees him as one half of "us". He almost expects Izzy's last words to be about him (or them) and doesn't yet see Izzy as his own person, with his own feelings and ties to other people who might have wanted to say goodbye as well.

For Ed, Izzy died how he lived - wrapped up in Ed and Ed keeping everyone else away. Talking about himself only in relation to Ed. Izzy as a part of Ed that's vital and needed - but not itself in need of words of solace or other people's love (or any love, period).

Conclusion

At this point in Ed's and Izzy's life, the death scene and how it was written/acted is perfect, in my opinion. But for the characters, it's incredibly tragic.

Izzy never got what he wanted most - Ed's love. He died believing almost his whole life was a mistake, keeping Ed from his true self for far too long and destroying him in the process. In the end, the crew who had unconditionally loved and accepted him, stood at a distance, and the man he still loved over anyone and anything else never told Izzy what he meant to him - and now he never will.

Ed was absolved of his guilt and maybe, in the moment, he even believed it. But of course everything that happened in S2, and everything before that, wasn't (only) Izzy's fault and in the future, Ed has to deal with that. Only now there is no Izzy here to work it through with, and to make amends, no one who was there for it all and who knows parts of Ed best. When Ed finally realizes what Izzy meant to him, it will be too late.

So, if we get a S3 and nothing is ever made of all of this, if Izzy is really dead and the Ed/Izzy dynamic is done and dealt with, then it was bad writing (and I am so afraid that will actually happen).

But as it stands, I'm beginning to love the scene for what it is: a tragic, consistent ending for two characters that I love deeply.

But please don't tell me this was a kind ending.

[ragingstillness]

The Boys thoughts 4x5:

Homelander’s conversation with Ryan: felt realistic to his character but also yikes (as always). Acknowledgement of his manipulation of Ryan +1 Acknowledgement of his own trauma +1 Equivalence of his experience as a deeply privileged white man to slavery -100

Ryan getting the PA to slap the Snyder parody: one of those delightful moments that The Boys does so well where I feel both positive and negative emotions about it. Do I think the Snyder dude deserved to be slapped by his PA? Absolutely. Do I think it’s a good thing that Ryan thinks the ultimate penance is receiving corporal punishment? No I don’t. I do like that Ryan actually let the victim do the punishment and receive the apology rather than white knighting about it. And of course I am deeply aware of how ironic it is that Homelander is helping Ryan stand up for sexual harassment victims when Homelander raped Ryan’s mom in a similar power imbalance situation.

Genuinely feel sad for Ashley that she lost her Ben Shapiro parody submissive (at least partially because I found it hilarious), but she got him back and that felt very earned.

I knew that Ashley and A-Train did more to Homelander’s apartment! Haha I can’t wait to find out what it is.

Man no one is having a great time or talking about it this episode.

Always happy to see more Esposito, love him as the ultimate traitor. Just betraying everyone left and right.

Not super fond of how they’re making it seem like Annie was wrong morally for beating up Firecracker. For falling for it? Sure. For reacting with anger? No.

Big fan of the V-ed up animals. Hysterical and very fun.

“Do you even know who Annie is anymore?” Um has more time passed that they’re showing? Because didn’t Annie decide to use the Starlight name again like two episodes ago?

I like that we got to see Hughie solve a bad situation on his own this time. He’s really coming into his own. Also, I like that we got another chance to say goodbye to his dad. Still sus that Hughie’s mom knows what V is.

Finally we got to see some of Simon Pegg’s comedic chops too. Him spinning around inside that guy had me laughing like nothing else.

Butcher taking that scientist captive? Honestly that doesn’t feel so much like a return to the dark side as just something his character would always be willing to do. Lest we forget he kidnapped Translucent, tortured him, pumped him for information, and would have killed him if Hughie didn’t get there first. I do feel like he’s relying less on other people which is a backslide from his character development but true to where his character was in the first season too.

Not a lot of sister sage the episode, glad to see she saw through firecracker’s fake inclusion attitude. I do feel like she’s growing closer and closer to dropping Homelander as an ally, something I suspected she would do from the minute they teamed up.

No Colin but I’m sure that’s gonna bite them in the ass.

What are the rules of Victoria’s headpopping? We saw her do it a little but there were many more opportunities. Does she need to charge up? Line of sight? Eye contact?

I agree that Victoria turned her daughter into a monster but only because she taught her not to value human lives and also because she turned her into some version of Parasyte: The Maxim.

Not a fan of Frenchie turning himself in. That’s not going to do anything, now they’re gonna have to break him out, and this show’s morality was never black and white enough that it could look at his actions and be like “you finally did the right thing”

Man when they all meet up with Hughie again he’s gonna have some stories to tell.

Side note: I am utterly amazed that now the secret of Compound V is out that no other country is sending like every spy in their arsenal to steal some. Considering how easily Hughie and the Boys can get it, it isn’t very difficult. Take one look at the nuclear arms race and tell me that every country in the world wouldn’t be quietly declaring all out war on Vought to get their hands on some.

[blushydrangea]

im here to ask u ur thoughts in the... pj controversy ehhekekfke i wanna say smthn abt but like i feel as if i dont grasp the whole thing yet so i chose to shut up rn

hi love! under the cut so the people who are tired of discussing this topic can avoid it.

it's a long one!

i know everyone here has likely come across the tweets pj made, but as an archiver at heart i feel the need to break everything down. screenshots aren't mine.

on the 18th, pj made a tweet about fellow drag queen and artist chappell roan, questioning the authenticity of her love for drag. most people (me included!) thought she was trolling, which unfortunately didn't happen to be the case. plane appeared to be under the impression that chappell was mean or cold towards drag queens she invited to her shows, something she allegedly heard about in boston and, according to some people on reddit so take this with a grain of salt, was debunked. she followed her tweet with another, ironically saying "i love chappell roan". the first tweet was then deleted.

after several people accused plane jane of trying to gatekeep drag from women & having an unfair opinion deeply rooted in misogyny, pj released a notes app screenshot on the 19th. however, going against the purpose of most notes screenshots, hers wasn't an apology. instead, she chose to call out the hypocrisy of people attacking her because they were calling her a man (it's important to note that pj hasn't directly told us what her ood pronouns are afaik).

she made some more shady tweets after that and argued with stans on social media but i don't feel like including these, so the last update we have was this apology pj made for her fandom.

before i speak my mind on this, i just wanna say that i am willing to discuss this as long as people are polite, any aggressive messages i might receive will be promptly deleted.

to be honest, i didn't like what she said. being a person with a platform and, let's be real, several crazy stan accounts who follow her word like gospel, it was wrong in my opinion to call a growing lesbian artist (one of the very few we have, at that) performative for her love of drag. someone who also engages in the *checks notes* performative art of drag. there isn't much of a "bag" to be secured by pretending you love drag, as it's not that mainstream, and i can't help but wonder if pj would have the same criticism were chappell a gay man instead of a lesbian woman.

misogyny is real and it's present in all of us, we were all raised to see women as less than. pj is white and male-presenting with her makeup off, she isn't incapable of misogyny because she is gay or a drag queen. therefore, it rubbed me in the wrong way to see her voice out the same beliefs i've heard from other gay men before – that women deserve to be questioned whenever they exist in drag spaces. i don't agree with the sentiment that pj meant women shouldn't do drag, as she never said that. though she honestly reminded me of those men who ask me very specific and tricky questions about the tree of gondor or whatever when i tell them i love the lord of the rings. are you a true fan?

her notes app statement was what pissed me off. she was really immature imo, ofc she's only 26 so there's room for growth, but twisting a situation you inserted yourself in to seem like the victim based on... people calling you a cis man? come on. it was a self-centered statement made by someone who seemed to refuse to take any criticism on this subject matter. i was very disappointed she chose the "but you are wrong too!" route instead of apologizing to the people she hurt.

her apology to her fandom was... fine, i guess. it served to show me that she seems to be comfortable living in her bubble.

do i think she's a bad person? no, i don't. but i do think she had a misogynistic take and doubled down on it because she refuses to admit she was wrong. i'm staying away from her for the time being, i'll probably get over it eventually but rn i don't wanna see her face all that much. no judgement whatsoever to people who forgave her and are still posting about her, it's your blog, do what you want <3

[alexissara]

Gwitch and Minimum Viable Queerness

Trusting companies to make queer art is always asking for heart break even when it really and deeply seems like they made some queer art. However, despite my love for Gundam: The Witch From Mercury it must be said there is plenty of issues with the show that pointed towards the direction they have gone now that we've entered the post release era.

In the magazine Gundam Ace they edited our a writer stating that Sulleta and Mio were married. They apologized for that statement ever making it in to begin with on Twitter the X gonna give to you dot bomb with this.

This obviously lead to tons of angry fans and queer folks but it wasn't like this came out of nowhere. Despite some people saying it's just "western brained losers" or something that thought there was queer bait in the Witch From Mercury there is something that queer people forget which is that most straight cis people literally have no brain cells. They espically have an inability to see sapphic relationships as real or valid.

Gundam The Witch From Mercury was explicit, more explicit than a lot of media but they intentionally excluded the three universal signifiers of romantic or sexual love from the show despite it being centered for all 24 episodes around the Sulmio engagement. These three signifiers are an "I love you" "I Love You too", a kiss, or fucking. Gundam is a toy commercial for kids so while sex is probably not on the table it isn't actually even off the table for Gundam given the series history has had off scene sex and bad stuff too like adult women trying to seduce like a 10 year old boy. So like these shows aren't afraid to do some shit. Many say that Gundam doesn't do kisses that is a lie, Z, 00, Seed, and Iron Blooded Orphans's all have done kisses. I love yous also happen across the series, the end of G Gundam has a special love attack that blows up the last boss.

This is all to say Gundam: The Witch From Mercury activated a strategy corporate media called minimum viable queerness. In order to get the gay dollar, to seem progressive, whatever it may be a company will do as little gay as they can get away with to get the gays actively invested in their art. Ultimately, their aim is to have it be blaringly obvious to queer folks but invisible to the hets. The show also did the minimum viable amount of women making sure the men had utterly meaningless fights near the end just for women to be on screen less. These fights involve men who are not either of the main two girls getting mad at each other for some kind of connection or action towards one of the girls. These take up a significant amount of the second seasons run time not to mention one of these men got a full episode devoted to him. Meanwhile the main couple of the show was away from each other for the vast majority of episodes, almost never in the same room and almost exclusively on somewhat bad terms.

In the show Sulleta is the main character but in season one she is mostly piloting against men with one fight against a pair of girls near the end. Chuchu is given sidekick pilot status and lives to the end but she doesn't get her own highlighted battle ever unlike a side side character in Guel's brother who gets a major fight against his brother weighted against the fate of quite zero and Sulleta and Ariel fighting. Which comes after Guel fought Shadiq for no reason which came after Guel fighting Sulleta again for Ariel which came after Guel trying to survive in a mech when he was stuck on earth earlier. Guel was in a mech 1 more time than Sulleta was in season 2. The two other witch girls die in their first and second time respectively of being in a gundam in season 2 and the second of the pair gets maybe a word in with our main character her whole existence and never talks to our secondary main character at all. The action is still in large part being given to men even in the woman centric series.

And in this "queer centered" story we see very explicit delectations of feelings from Guel, Shadiq, Petra and Lauda which are all heterosexual ontop of all the adult characters being hetero, implied hetero E5 with Nora dying for considering being with a man and E5 sexually harassing Sulleta. The series overwhelming overcompensates for it's queerness by aggressively pushing straightness and in particular having other main characters want our lesbians heterosexually.

This does not mean that the writers or animations didn't want to be more explicit or that they did a bad job. they did a great job but we cannot know what is Namco Bandai and what is Sunrise. We just can't but it seems given recent statements that likely Bandai was very hands on in controlling the show. Not to mention giving it's first woman lead series a much shorter run time than most other Gundam series got and intentionally closing it off from an easy sequel series despite it being the most profitable series ever for them.

It appears to me as if Namco Bandai's intention was to convert a bunch of lesbians into gundam fan and throw mild gay bait at us to keep us coming now that we converted, far less explicit than Sulleta and Mio but attempting to ride it out in good faith and have us enjoy the men shows that appealed to boys to not break their delusion that they are making a boys toy for boys. Feeding us right into more Gundam Seed is like trying to choke out any potential life and I think we're gonna see a decline in Gundam sales following Gwitch representing the betrayal of these sapphic fans but more so simply the lack of interest in the bar being lowered.

As fans of Gwitch we need to demand better, it does work, we've seen companies fix statements about Sailor Uranus and Neptune before and other similar instances. We can also make them see if they want to reach the high highs again we need the great shit we get in Gwitch but then even more that the minimum we'll let them get away with is far more than the last time.

If you enjoyed this post consider throwing me some money on Patreon to help me make actually queer art without corporations controlling my voice. I'm hoping to write a bit more about minimum viable queerness in the future but I wanted to really just talk about this while I was mad about it and get it up there. Anyway, back to the writing mines with me, hope you have a great day and go out there and be gay.

[nj-6-girl]

Fans are concerned about newjeans and their overloaded schedule

It's no secret that newjeans lately has been really busy, from preparing to start their second world tour called infinite dreams for their third full album Ethereal Harmony that will start next month in 15 September and will end on October 13, 2025.

During all of that, fans are concerned about their health since they are not taking a small break before the tour instead their schedules are packed with activity. From being the first k-pop girl group to perform at the Olympic and also performing at Seoul world cup to preparing to perform for the second time at lollapalooza.

It didn't stop at this because when fans saw their schedule during the world tour they found it truly overloaded both the group schedule and each girl schedule separately which has numerous activities such as attending events, doing interviews and being in various award shows. This worries the fans deeply to the point where they wrote a letter complaining about this to Ador entertainment.

... View comments:

{ 1 } this is really sad 😢 I hope the girls are fine

{ 2 } I saw the pics of them returning from Paris at the airport they really looked drained

{ 3 } it was heartbreaking to see the girls smiling for the cameras where hanni can be seen literally dragging her legs and pulling haerin behind her.

{ 4 } I was there at the airport and Mira come to sign a photo card of hers for me, there were dark circles under her eyes and her hands were shaking so bad that turned her signature really bad she kept apologizing to me, I didn't care at that moment for the photo all I wanted was to comfort her.

{ 5 } I think people tend to forget that even if Ador is better than many big companies and they do take care of their artists especially newjeans and sometimes no matter how they tried things can get out of hand

{ 6 } right! Like newjeans is one of the most high in demand group no matter how they tried to keep a good amount of space between each thing they do it's nearly impossible

[bowsellie]

Number One Fan

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

"I know it's mad, but if I go to hell will you come with me or just leave?

I know it's mad, but if the world were ending would you kiss me or just leave me? Just leave me?"

The set ended with another slow flash of the lights and applause, more than you had heard since you and your friends had started putting songs together and singing for whoever would listen. First your families, until tragedy struck, then whoever would listen as you traveled across the west together. Jackson wasn't the first community the three of you had stayed in, but it was the most protected and the most well-run. All the others had dissolved in some way. A horde of infected taking down the flimsy walls in Cheyenne that you barely escaped from, or a political disagreement that led to a riot in Topeka. That was the scariest, you thought. Being inches away from a clicker was one thing, but being in the grasp of somebody you once loved, somebody who was intent on killing you and knew exactly what they were doing...that was another.

You flicked the microphone off and stuck it back on the stand, hopping from the stage and fighting through the crowd for the water bottle you left behind the bar. The crowd began to clear out from the tiny hall, leaving an empty seat somewhere in the middle for you to take and rest.

Taking sips of the water and breathing deeply, trying to bring feeling back into your hands, you didn't notice someone behind you until their hand rested on your shoulder. You jumped, turning around, still tense to find the auburn-haired girl from earlier.

Seeing your reaction, Ellie removed her hand from your shoulder and apologized. "Sorry, I just didn't think you saw me. Um...wow."

You didn't respond, unsure how.

"Wow I mean, in a good way, I mean. Sorry. That was really good. I didn't know you would be the one up there or I would have told you good luck or something. Or is that bad luck? I thought that I heard it was bad luck but either way I'm sorry for not saying anything but that was really good."

She breathed, and you still didn't respond. Her cool and mysterious demeanor from earlier was gone, now, replaced by rambling and shaking hands clutching a fresh glass of whiskey.

"Are you that drunk off of two?" you asked.

Her face flushed, hand curling protectively around the cup. "No, I mean maybe a little, but not drunk. I just wanted to say congratulations."

"Well, thank you, Ellie. I'm glad you liked it." You downed the rest of your water and tossed the bottle into a nearby trashcan, standing up in front of the still blushing girl in front of you. "Can I expect you at the next one?"

Your voice had dropped in volume to match the quiet of the room around you, and hers did too. "When is that?"

"No idea." And with that, you walked out the doors.

---

The rush of the night before had worn off with vomit and a headache all night long. One bottle of water was not nearly enough to counteract the dehydration of running around, singing, and putting on a show the entire night. It was like a hangover, only without the good part of being drunk beforehand.

Nevertheless, the tinny ring of the alarm clock next to you went off at 7am. You couldn't skip out on an assignment, not this early into your stay in Jackson. So you sucked it up, got changed, brushed your teeth extra well, and headed for the greenhouses.

Still fighting a headache, you found the man in charge as quickly as possible and got to work pulling last season's plants and preparing the soil for next's. It was monotonous work, made cumbersome by the ache in your back and the suffocating heat of the sun through plastic.

At the end of your row, you glanced up to see who was working across from you. A pair of green eyes met yours immediately, as if they'd been staring the whole time.

"Ellie?" you asked, resting back on your calves and giving your back a break.

"Yeah. Hey."

"I didn't know you'd be here today."

"I didn't either. Don't you get the day off after working last night?"

You snorted, rolling your eyes. "It's not working if it's not a service. I still have to do my part, you know."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

An uncomfortable silence fell between you two, but neither moved to pick up on the task at hand.

Ellie opened her mouth once, then twice, like a fishing gasping for air. "Hey," she finally got out. "What are you doing tonight?"

A smile crept across your face, which you promptly hid by getting back to work and letting your hair shadow your face. "Oh, I don't know. Why? Is there an event?"

"No, but um, you're still pretty new to Jackson, right? I could show you around some. If you wanted."

You glanced up. "At night?"

"Or whenever. But I don't really sleep, so I figured we'd both be free then. Maybe. If you wanted."

You smiled again, this time letting it show. "Sure, Ellie. You can show me around. At night."

[flamigoat]

New Fanfic In Progress!! :D 💖👑

Turns out writing Rabbid Peach and Princess Peach interacting is super fun!

I’ve got a new fanfic I’m working on focusing on future fan kids and relationships in my story. Same universe Phoebe’s in!! Oooo the intrigue!! You wanna read it so bad ooooooo~ /lh /silly 🪄⭐️

The fanfic will deal with Princess Peach being helped by Rabbid Peach during her pregnancy. She serves her as a companion during her pregnancy.

Relationships: Mareach (Mario x Princess Peach), Raypeach (Rayman x Rabbid Peach), and Implied Luaisy (Luigi x Daisy).

‼️⚠️Warnings for those kinds of themes if you’re uncomfortable with that! Pregnancy, talks of pregnancy, wanting kids etc. Not explicit, just in concept. ⚠️‼️

Here’s a little preview under the cut :

Flash forward to now and the pair of friends sat together on the balcony overlooking the palace gardens, enjoying their favorite cup of tea. Rabbid Peach was on her phone, scrolling through all the pictures filled with memories of her friend’s pregnancy. She made sure to document every moment, even if she had to cover it up as just wanting to take selfies. She knew how much Princess Peach would love to look back at them, especially when she was due so soon. Only the calming clinks of teacups and the tapping of Rabbid Peach’s fingers on her phonescreen broke their silence. It was nice. Enjoying a peaceful day with her best friend like this.

The rabbid’s attention drew back to her friend, when their eyes made contact it earned a huff of amusement from her. The princess hummed in response, continuing to sew little decorations into her ever-growing scrapbook. It was filled with pictures of her friends, tidbits of notes scattered about depicting things like how her day went, what she ate, and who she spent time with. Most importantly, telling her babies how excited all their aunties and uncles were to meet them. They were all one big family. A gigantic family of heroes. That warmed Rabbid Peach’s heart immensely to witness.

Looking at her now, her stomach was swollen, visibly pregnant. Wow. How fast time had flown by. The doctors knew she was going to be due soon, so she was confined inside the castle walls for now. It was heartwrenching, watching her friend sink deeply into the dread of boredom. At least the little distractions she put together were helping. Well, she hoped they were anyway.

Hmph. Now that she thought about it… Bowser hadn’t even tried to kidnap her in a long time. You’d think he would, especially considering she was way more vulnerable now than before. The entirety of the Mushroom Kingdom had been on edge about it, but every day there was a scare for one, he’d never come. Maybe he’d moved on? Or maybe he got the knowledge that it wouldn’t be cool to kidnap somebody pregnant? Heh! Whatever would get through that turtle’s thick skull. It is a lot quieter this way. More peaceful, a nice change of pace for the princess and her subjects.

“Hey, Rabbid Peach? Can I inquire you about something?”, Princess Peach spoke softly, a strangely serious tone to her voice.

“Bwahh! Sure thing! I told you Peach, you can just call me Peachy or Peaches. No need to be formal, we’re friends, remember? Besties! It’s okay!”

Her friend giggled at her, face crinkling with joy. Good. It was nice to let her friend loosen up now and then. Peaches couldn’t imagine what image it’d take to run a country constantly with no breaks inbetween. She would’ve gone crazy by now if she was in the princess’s place.

“My apologies, Peachy~. Is that better, dearie?”, the normally proper princess stuck her tongue out at her. The rabbid shot back a playfully annoyed look towards her friend, “Yep!”, her voice making a popping sound after the pronunciation of the p to emphasize her point. “So what’d you wanna talk about?”, amusement purred out of her throat.

Oh. This could be good. Some gossip the princess heard among her workers. Oooo! Maybe some drama from the other kingdoms?!? She had been hearing a certain green plumber she knew had been seen out with the princess of Sarasaland. Rabbid Peach sipped her tea eagerly, trying to prepare her thoat for a long session of juicy conversation. She’d need it. They could and have talked for hours before.

“Do you ever think you’ll want children?”, Peach purred out casually, earning a sudden coughing fit from her friend in surprise. Rabbid Peach choked on the half swig of her tea, battering her chest with a closed paw. Okay, she was not expecting that!!

[neonswitchhouse]

Hey, I love your posts on Pop culture paganism, it's been helping me a lot. I just wanted to ask, how do you deal/cope with the insecurities that come with working with the "villains" from sources?

I find myself drawn to villains moreso than heroes, and I feel more at home with them. However, I get so insecure about it, especially when interacting with other pop culture practitioners. I would love any advice you might have about this, and if you already posted about this, my apologies - Clementine

Hey there! I briefly went over villain work and some of the drawbacks in a previous post, but to get a bit more in-depth (and since that post is a bit older nowadays) I'll try to give some tips.

So I've always been a villain-worker since I started on this path from jail breaking dogmen, ghostly mobsters, mutated fishmen, and lately a brief foray into eldritch horrors, obsessive lovers, and streamers that would get banned from the Home Depot for the inappropriate use of hardware tools. And what I can say is in a sense that it sadly "comes with the territory" or is the "nature of the beast" per se.

A majority of villains either may prefer isolation due to their "nefarious" schemes and plots or nature of their work and need to keep a low profile, while others just might not be used to being out-there due to a number of reasons including being ostracized or "othered" in their sources. From my observations, this may oftentimes also happen for those who are fans of the character as well in the "othering" sense in that they might not feel as at-home as say, protagonists fans, or even being accused of condoning a characters actions or behaviors just because they're a fan of theirs in let's say some more toxic fandom spaces as of late.

So the best advice I would have is to simply embrace it. Be open about it and develop your confidence and brazenness. Those who understand and feel the same way will flock to you naturally and form a small community of sorts. And those who don't well, as long as they mind their business they can go on their merry way; no one's forcing them to go down the same path or be involved with the same characters. Share your experiences working with them to help others feel comfortable and be more open as well (that's what we try to do ourselves anyway ^^;;)!

The isolation or the "othering" is part of the reason I would only recommend villain work to maybe intermediate or at least somewhat experienced practitioners, but it can also be a deeply rewarding and intense path to those who feel drawn to it. Embrace working with your beloathed beloveds; be open about your experiences good or bad.

Besides, not every villain is 100% "evil" and not every hero is 100% "good". Plus there's that whole rejection of "black vs. white" "high vibe vs. low vibe" thinking that should hopefully be in most folk's approach to witchcraft and paganism as a whole. It's all gray and subjective, baybay.

As always

Stay safe, have fun, stay spooky <3

[writer1queenjaysblog]

I can't live without you baby! Modern human au

Yandere boyfriend Lo'ak x oc! Warning ⚠️: yandere behavior, crazy Lo'ak, stalking, obsessed, s*icide Romeo and Juliet style, near death , smut

When Sho'ree met Lo'ak she thought he was a your regular neighbor bad boy but that wasn't the case. He was different..very different not in a bad way but in a scary, dark, not normal way like he was off really off.

His parents Jake and Neytiri didn't know that he was crazy crazy he was deeply obsessed with her the moment he saw her she is the younger sister of Ao'nung the guy he had beef with since middle and high school but they're frienemies basically.

But when she met him she was intrigued by him by his vibe and aura everything about him was just amazing everything about her drew him to her and drew her to him like a moth to a flame.

They were like addictive drugs to each other one can't be without the other Sho'ree would be fine without her other half but Lo'ak was a different matter. He's panic if he doesn't see, hear, feel his darling baby next to him he's a whole train wreck without her so much that he smokes to calm himself.

He introduced her to drugs like weed they're get high together and things would go south or hit the fan like it he doesn't see or hear her when his high daze is over he'll go into a frenzy throwing things, breaking things, shouting only for her to rush out of the kitchen seeing the coffee table flipped over and things thrown across the room.

He of course would apologize but he also knows that he can't be without her at all if she doesn't tell him where she's going he's cry no cap he'd cry like sobbing while high after destroying their living room on the floor calling her with tears in his eyes and then bloodshot red not just from crying but he was high out of his mind.

He's sweet with her such the perfect gentleman but with a hot temper one guy tried to start something by cat calling her and pushing him only for Lo'ak to knock him unconscious.

She never saw Lo'ak that angry he told her that he did to protect her and she knew that but she also knew something wasn't right so she told him about anger management but it wasn't any help he was just too much for them to handle when they tried tests to see what provoke him and things would south real quick.

Her mother Ronal told her that this isn't healthy with her being a doctor and having friends in the mental health work background Lo'ak might be insane and that's exactly what he was she figured that out when she tried to break things off with him on their 4 year anniversary. He was excited to propose to her but she said no and said she wanted to break up.

He snapped. He was delusional and was saying she was joking laughing but she wasn't. "Lo'ak I'm serious I want to end this I'm not right for you."

She said oh how sweet she was her eyes, her beautiful body, her pretty face, her sweet voice and smile and cute face and giggles is what got him through the day. Once again she failed at breaking up with him. He kissed her in on her neck suckling and biting her shoulder "Lo'ak.. Lo'ak..ohh Lo- Lo stop it." She moaned as he smirked as he knew what he was doing he's done this before.

When she tried to break up he'd get her high with sex and his touch.

"Lo'ak..please stop this. I'm not your woman anymore!"

Lo'ak smirked "Yeah..you are. I got my mind on you..please baby saying yes to heaven is like saying yes to me..I'll make you feel as if you were in heaven."

6 months later

Lo'ak was stalking Jada he couldn't believe how beautiful she looked. Jada had a white satin dress with white heels. Lo'ak looked amazed by her body. "So..beautiful my angel."

Things got worse. Lo'ak was deeply obsessed with her, he wanted her.

Lo'ak kidnapped her "Why..why couldn't you be mine?! Why pookie!?" He said shirtless, he was drunk holding a knife "I..couldn't..I'm not for you-"

Lo'ak yelled "YOU WERE SUPPOSE TO BE WITH ME!!"

He said tears in his eyes, he was freaking out. Sho'ree got out of her binds she running to the stairs out of the basement.

Lo'ak turned "No!"

He grabbed her hair, but she slipped from his grasp he then pushed her only for her to hit her head. She was out like a light, a gash on her head.

Lo'ak felt his heart stop. "Sho'ree? Sho'ree..baby? Please wake up..please! I'm sorry, please wake up!" He felt panic. He tried to wake her but nothing "Baby, baby please baby say something!"

Lo'ak held her against his chest "Please, if you wake up I'll make you happy. I..I'll be the best man for you."

Lo'ak saw a knife and stabbed himself in the abdomen "I..can't live without you in my life.. let's say yes to heaven together."

He passed out. Jake and Neytiri later found them calling the ambulance 🚑.

In the hospital 🏥

Sho'ree woke up "Where am I?"

Her parents were there too

Tonowari spoke "Your in the hospital dear. Lo'ak kidnapped you and things went south."

Said her father

"But Jake and Neytiri are with him."

Said her mother Ronal.

8 months later

Sho'ree and Lo'ak were arguing

"YOU ALMOST KILLED ME! AND YOURSELF!!"

"I love you sho'ree..I do...please baby don't go. I was drunk, out if my mind, hurt, heart broken, I Was lost without you pookie."

Her heart melted, and she tried to resist, but of course, it happened again.

The next thing she knew her clothes were off and she was with Lo'ak

Sho'ree "Lo'ak! Ahh yes! Oh Lo'ak, Lo'ak yes harder!"

Lo'ak smirked biting his lip "Anything for you princess. Your my love, my everything. I love you."

Sho'ree "I love you too Lo'ak, oh fuck- yes I love you! My Lo'ak!"

In the end what else can be said or done? Maybe they were meant for each other? If so let it be.

That's all, folks! The end!

[idsb]

I’ll honestly only stream original Speak Now due to anger with that and I wouldn’t be sorry // Ok, I have to ask, what's the hold that particular lyric has over so many fans? I've seen other people say a similar thing. It's as if a lyric mocking another woman (a very real woman who has expressed being hurt by the lyrics) is somehow a make or break element of the song, and it can't stand on its own without it.

If Taylor doesn't change the lyrics, I'll understand. They were written a long time ago, and faithful recreations, warts and all, are one way of reclaiming her art. However, if she does change them, I'll understand as well. After all, changing a throwaway line so it doesn't potentially hurt a real person is another way of reclaiming her art in a way she's proud of, if she so chooses. (If I were her, I would reach out to CB with a private apology and let her decide.)

Can you help me understand where your passion on this topic comes from? I'm earnestly curious and not sure why it's inspiring such discourse.

For me, it really really deeply upsets me if art should only be allowed to exist if it’s of moral purity. That obviously excludes things that are flagrantly racist / homophobic / etc, but a) the whole song is “”””sexist”””” and the line doesn’t change it so I think it’s dumb as hell anyway, but moreover I think her even HAVING to change a lyric due to its perceived horrible sexism is inherently fucking sexist. No one holds any men accountable for the product of their time lyrics they wrote as teens. Like, in an adjacent example, Paramore stopped performing Misery Business because of one line in it for YEARS meanwhile other bands who came up in the same genre at the same time have entire careers built on shit talking “slutty” women and no one has ever batted a fucking eye. It’s absolutely infuriating to me to act like these women have to grovel at the feet of the general public and apologize for these things when they’re really not THAT bad to begin with, honestly - sorry but a teen having angsty emotions and blaming another girl is fine. It’s literally fucking fine. They do that. It’s not completely morally pure but what is at that age? It’s dumb to expect them to be in that avenue.

And then like I said in the tags there’s a whole added element of dating someone who watches porn of black women being brutalized half to death but then changing one lyric in an iconic song because THATS too mean and offensive - and the entire societal expectations in one umbrella versus the other - which is simply something I do not have the words for nor do I think this website has the nuance and bandwidth for, but am sure someone somewhere could write an entire doctorate about it.

[prydainroyals]

CONTENT WARNING: Adult language, emotional/verbal abuse and gaslighting, implications of substance abuse, and mentions of death.

The Prince, the Heir, the--

--Spare, actually, prior to the untimely and tragic death of the King’s firstborn son, Crown Prince William.

The two stood facing one another, cloaked in decades of tense silences and bitter resentment.

The Prince discreetly clenched a fist at his side, not wanting to give his father the emotional reaction he knew the King craved.

The silence lingered between the two men, palpable, thick, and nearly unbearable. It made Arthur want to scream, to lash out; instead, he focused his energy on the nails digging into his palm, on the toes curling in his polished oxfords, in keeping his posture straight, shoulders squared, and his feet firmly planted.

It was like the two of them were just waiting to see who might cave first, and after what seemed like an uncomfortable eternity, it was the King who broke the silence:

“You should have sought my permission to go on this little holiday of yours.”

Arthur set his jaw and said nothing. He detected the faint whiff of his father’s breath and resisted the urge to grimace.

It isn’t a holiday you absolute prick, he thought bitterly, but maintained his stoic silence. Not that you’d get that through your thick skull, you fucking drunk--

Annoyed, the King turned his cold and dismissive gaze away from his son and shifted to focus on the magnificent mural, a point of pride for the country and its history.

“Everyone seems to be very proud of you for it, but I know you better. You’re running away from your duties--”

“--just like you’ve run away from things today, leaving your sister to clean up after you. Should’ve done the family a favor and said you came out first.”

Bait. It’s bait. Don’t take it. Don’t give him the satisfaction.

Arthur clenched his teeth in silence.

“You owe Alice and I an apology.”

As if you give a shit about her feelings, Arthur wanted to say, but did not.

Rather condescendingly, the King made a show of sighing, as if his son was being all too unreasonable in his refusal to speak.

“I should have refused permission--”

“--but Mother insisted I allow you to go,” the King explained airily, albeit with a note of bitterness that Arthur believed was partially true. The Queen Mother was a known political schemer, a shrewd woman, and an absolutely two-faced snake. She would likely say Arthur owed her for this, but he wouldn’t take her bait either. If she had given the King a hard time, it was worth it in Arthur’s book.

He couldn’t hide a small smirk at the thought.

“--Oh don’t you start,” the King snapped, having noticed. “You’re as bad as your mother. At least Alice has the sense to stay focused and remain diplomatic with the rest of the family.”

No one remains sincerely diplomatic with Gwyn the Gargoyle, Arthur thought, now resisting the urge to roll his eyes as he recalled the rather apt nickname for his formiddable grandmother.

Arthur’s decision to remain mute seemed to be getting to the King as the silence continued to stretch, and he shifted from one foot to the other, clearly more and more annoyed at each passing second. 

Arthur knew how much his father liked control--but today was his day, not his father’s, and he would not let the King break him of his dignity and his self-respect. 

Not. Today.

“Wintering over in the Arctic is a dangerous proposition. You’re lucky I’ve even decided to allow this. If something happened to you...”

“. . .”

If something happened to me? Arthur thought, incredulous. A tight, burning anger rose in his chest, those flames fanned by the bellows of a deeply-rooted ache.

“If something happened to me,” Arthur spoke at last, eyes remaining absolutely fixed on the mural ahead of him, “you and Gran would pop the corks and dig the bloody grave yourselves. If you haven’t already.”

- - -

PREV | BEGINNING | NEXT

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[sirenemale]

WARRIOR CATSSSSSSSSS LETS GOOOOOOOOO ❓️💢

I was hoping someone would ask for theseee YAY

❓️ : fav total background character (im not talking minor characters like say. whitewing or moonlight, i mean cats with like...3 lines tops)

This is sooo hard actually. I think most of mine still fall into minor adjacent cause they get some focus and lines. But I've always really liked Ashfoot, literally one of the only wc map parts I've made was about her. I always thought the windclan family dynamic of her being related to onestar was really fun. She just seems very together and competent and idk, I like that she and her husband were both deputies with a foot suffix.

I also always really liked breezepelt's kids, idk what they ever really got up to in canon but Smokehaze, brindlewing, appleshine and woodsong are such cute names. There's probably a lot to explore with how he'd approach parenting with how he grew up. I also think it's really cute that the older sisters ended up mentoring their younger siblings.

Also not super minor, but I guess semi-minor in terms of how often I see fan stuff for them. Pretty much every side or minor character in Graystripe's vow i really liked. Gremlin, Fury, all of warriorclan. Petunia especially, I think all of them you can draw some really fun parallels with first arc characters, I almost wish we'd gotten some kinda soft reset where we start following them instead of the kinda giant extended never ending conflict we have in the main clans. Fury is the antagonist obviously but I don't think she made any kinda impact on the fandom really, I just think she's fun. At the end when she's mostly defeated and bleeding out she crawls to the top of the high rocks in thunderclan camp and I was hoping soooo fucking bad she'd be deranged enough to just stand up there boasting until she died. Not what happened but it's what happened in my heart, not deep at all as a character I just liked that she got to be kinda crazy.

OTHER than thattt. I can only think of Red from Skyclan's destiny. There was a rogue camp and she had drama with her dad bc she had a boyfriend, then her dad Stick tries to kill that guy and she jumps in front first and dies and everyone regrets it lmao.

💢 : what scene made you the most irrationally angry upon first reading

The entirety of Squirrelflight's hope for 1. It was such a viscerally deeply upsetting book to me.

The scenes of Bramblestar demoting squirrelflight to children's tasks, not letting her leave the camp without telling him because she Challenged him, taking her autonomy away, guilt tripping her, telling her she's selfish for not wanting to kill pregnant woman who is going to leave in Less than a MONTH anyway. The whole book just made me feel crazy. It's crazy how uncharacteristically sadistic every character becomes JUST so squirrelflight can be made to look inconsiderate for Embarrassing her husband in public by telling him they can just Wait for them to leave. And it's worse because it does completely break her down, Bramblestar completely shatters her sense of confidence, her sense of safety and personality ALL for the book to treat it like it was two-sided, all for her to apologize to him for speaking up and then the book ends. I don't think warrior cats has ever written anything more vile than this genuinely.

I remember that scene where she brought one of the sisters, who was dying, into camp for Leafpool to treat. and bramblestar threatened leafpool, his sister-in law and their DOCTOR not to heal an outsider. when squirrelflight argues and protects leafpool, fights for sunrise, bramblestar asks Why are you doing this to me. Guilting her and forcing her to choose between saving a woman's life, protecting her sister, AND listening to him beyond all reason. Choosing anything else except him is Hurting him. That's the framing. And it's crazy bc this isn't normal for warrior cats either, again it's uncharacteristically sadistic, it goes against the code, and it's all so they could write this scene, so bramble could say that, So it would Hurt squirrelflight, and punish her narratively.

You'd think it's intentional writing but then you remember this is the last book he's meant to be Good, because the next arc he's possessed by ashfur and is meant to actually be abusive and possessive and terrifying, which he is. But it's just fucking mortifying that the writer's idea of Bramblestar at his best, at the point where everyone missed him, is this. That they consistently do believe their relationship is healthiest and most equal when she is completely submitting to him.

ANYWAY that;s not even the actual last scene that broke me irt actually reading warrior cats myself LMAO.

it was similar though it was the way they handled shadowsight in the broken code. Similar thing of a character who is being so outrageously abused, other characters around him are suddenly far more sadistic and cruel than they've been before just to further beat him down While also having it be narratively justified.

Anyway it's the scene where Shadowsight, mothwing (i think), lionblaze and willowshine are trying to access the dark forest or starclan to get bramble's spirit back. No one trusts shadowsight, they all literally hate him, especially Lionblaze. Shadowsight offers to go to the dark forest, knowing there's a good chance he'll die there. He does this because he's basically suicidal at this point, so wracked with guilt over unknowingly creating this situation and having everyone Blame him for it that he's like Let me make it right. Lionblaze refuses because he doesn't trust him, so Willowshine offers instead. Willow lies down and closes her eyes so she can dream herself into the dark forest and in one of the fucking rawest scenes they've had in a MINUTE she dies on the spot. Ashfur killed her spirit in the darkforest so fast that barely a minute after she closes her eyes her physical body DIES. Lionblaze immediatelyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy blames shadowsight for this and is like it should have been you why did you let this happen. And at that point i was really like. if i keep reading this series I am Actually going to smash my head into a walllllllllll. I think I did finish the book a while later and idk.

It's hard knowing so much of this could be really hard hitting writing about abuse and complex situations. I think the meta of warriors is really interesting, the way the authors misogyny and absurd hate for abuse victims literally warps the world and character morals book by book. The way it literally gets worse as the books continue. I can't stomach reading it myself anymore LMAO. But I also have permanent brain worms for warriors so I still keep up with the character drama in the new books, there's stuff that's really interesting to me. Looking at curlfeather, frostpaw and splashtail's stuff. But yeah