#i didn’t like the changes made to zhao but everything else i really enjoyed

[rulesofdisorder]

i know a lot of people are upset that zuko fought back in the agni kai against his father in the live action and when i saw it in the trailer i was upset too but i think it makes sense with the context of this version of the show.

like he didn’t try to fight back at first, the first thing he did was bow down and express remorse for speaking out. he only fought back because his father made him. ozai isn’t rational, zuko knows that he may get punished for fighting back, but the punishment may be even worse if he doesnt fight back when he is expected to. and you can tell that zuko was hesitant because he knew that whatever decision he made it as going to upset ozai, he just thought that ozai would be more lenient if he did what was expected of him. and considering the mind games ozai was shown playing with azula throughout season 1, zuko probably thought that the agni kai was a situation similar to that. that even if he didn’t want to fight back and was scared he had to because everything is a game and a test with ozai. but this time ozai was looking for an excuse to fail him.

[moophinz]

How was your experience getting into this series? Did you find Majima's transition from 0 to Kiwami jarring or did you start somewhere else? And which game did you like the most and why?

Funny story really. My cousin had been telling me about the series for like a half year after a video they watched and had jumped into the franchise through it. I, on the other hand, kept trying to process these hyper realistic character models doing such absurd things. And I ESPECIALLY could NOT comprehend Majima in his entire design. Like imagine throwing this guy at a non-fan who’s only laid eyes on the series through miscellaneous meme images and gifs. Alongside my vague memory. Just me going “Oh god what the fuck is that???” Kaoru was right to ask what is he

It wasn’t until I went over to their brother’s place for almost 2 weeks in the summer two years ago that I truly experienced Yakuza for the first time with my own four eyes. Saw so many ridiculous but amazing videos and pictures and posts of all sorts in a short amount of time. I also watched my cousin play three or so of the games, saw some of the clips on YouTube, and something just immediately pulled me in. Really, the two things I saw story of where the ending of 2 and the start of 3. Crazy for me to still be here considering the ending of the second game. I really wanted to stay longer and watch all of 3 even though we got spoiled on that ending in the most overly comedic way. (the magic number in this paragraph is two)

Later that year, I wound up getting a PS4 and 0,K1, and K2 on physical CDs. Even bought the remastered collection thanks to a Christmas sale on the PS store. Through this and that, I already knew the plots of like half the games so I ended up playing them out of order. I think I played Kiwami or 3 first. Either way, the last game I completed was 5, and I still actually have a bit of 7 left. I’m not the best at picking favorites of any sort though. I really enjoyed 0, aspects of K1, 3, and 5 a lot. LAD of course has also been extremely fun. Haven’t played a lot of RPGs before, or at least it’s been years since I have so there was a bit of a curve for me in the switch from brawler to that. The characters really manage to pull you in the most with this franchise tbh

Answering this out of order, but since I was introduced to the series the way that I was, I didn’t have the same problem a lot of other people had with going from 0 to K1 and seeing Majima’s behavior. I managed to learn a lot about how different things are when you look at things through the lens of game order and chronologically starting from 0. It made everything about my experience change. Information about this and that and how the writing advanced over the years. I do, however, wish that his character merged better between the games. It’s the original Majima vs the Majima they decided on later who isn’t really like that. It gives a strange jump from one to the other, and really made me confused on what they were trying to go for altogether. But I guess Zhao is that character they were going for, more refined and polished in that field of pretend crazy guy who’s secretly a marshmallow

[boahancock-hebihime]

Why Aang is such a good character

Since Avatar came back to popularity I’ve seen a lot of hate towards Aang and it makes me really sad because he’s one of my favorite characters. I’ve been trying to ignore it but months later it’s still bothering me. I’ve seen most of the hate came from people who ship Zutara which is really annoying especially on Tiktok.

The reasons that were mostly named why people hate him were:

Aang is childish

He is a simp towards Katara

He’s Toxic

He’s possessive

He kissed Katara at the Ember Island play without her consent

He didn’t kill the Firelord

He yelled at Toph after Appa got stolen

Aang is forcing his believes on to other people

Aang saw Katara as a trophy wife

At first I’m going to address the Aang being childish part. It seems to me that some people don’t know the difference between being childish and having fun. Yes Aang does a lot of childish stuff like penguin sliding or riding a koi fish but he does that because he’s enjoying life and he showed Katara how to have fun again. Katara, Zuko, Sokka and Toph are children who have spend their whole life in war without having fun and Aang is supposed to show that they are still young and still allowed to have fun in their life. Some people say Katara is the most mature person in the Gaang but they are wrong. Toph said it the best Katara acts mature but she isn’t. She’s a child like everyone else and makes stupid decisions. Aang is the most mature person in the gaang. He makes wise decisions and is very emotionally mature but that doesn’t stop him from having fun in life and bringing fun to others. Like he showed the Firenation kids how to dance.

Secondly I want to focus on Aang and his feelings towards Katara. I’ve seen a lot of people say that Aang doesn’t love Katara, he’s only in love with the idea of her, he’s a simp, he’s toxic towards her and that he kissed her without her consent. Some people need to understand only because you ship Zutara that doesn’t make Aang a bad person. Aang didn’t like the idea of her he liked her for who she was. Y’all have to understand that he was frozen in ice for hundred years and when he wakes up he lost everyone he loved besides his flying bison. It’s not that far fetched that he would fall for the person who gave him emotional support while he was having a mental breakdown. When Katara did something wrong he called her out unlike what a simp would do but still tried to reconcile with her because he’s the bigger person and not a simp. He’s not toxic towards Katara he respects her. When someone is being misogynistic towards Katara he refuses to learn from them in support of her because he respects her and not because of his feelings. Most of his actions toward Katara are out of respect and not because he wants something in return. He’s actually nice to Katara because he means it. And then there are some people who say he’s possessive. I can only say no he’s not. He didn’t say anything when Katara was with Jet or Haru. He minded his own business. The only time he actually got jealous was at the ember island play because they kissed at the invasion and he got his hopes up and the play basically pushed all his insecurities infront of his face which made him act out overly emotional. And then there was this moment where he kissed her at the Ember Island play and to be honest to me it seemed like he was just a confused as Katara. He was kind of hurt because of the play and didn’t think straight but he regretted it after. All I can say is Aangs feelings are genuine and build on respect and trust.

And now I want to focus on the part where he yelled at Toph when Appa got stolen. I feel dumb that I even got to say it. You can’t compare Appa getting stolen to someone losing a Dog. Appa is the Last thing he had from his past. He loves him more then everything in the world. For the people who saw the movie John Wick will understand that somebody who has lost everything and is still managing to stay positive and the last piece of hope he has gets taken away from him can get you seriously mad. I know that his anger towards Toph was wrong but he was obviously very emotional and not in his right mind and was filled with pure rage. He literally had a mental breakdown at the end of this episode because he was that hurt.

And now the last part is that he’s forcing his believes on other people and that he refused to kill the firelord. Murder is not something to joke about or be proud of. Aang wasn’t forcing his believes on Katara when he was trying to stop her from killing the murderer of her mother was was trying to stop her because she would have literally killed a person and after that there is no turning back. It changes you as a person and you have to live with the fact that somebody died by your hands. It can turn you crazy. On paper it sound pretty badass and cool but it’s not like this in real live. Aang didn’t want to kill the firelord and a lot of people hate him for that but then on the other hand people have to consider if Aang wasn’t the way he was Zuko would be dead. He could have left him for dead a the northern watertribe everybody else wanted to leave him there but he didn’t. He could’ve left him with Zhao but he didn’t. Aangs believes brought more good then bad.

[gladerwolfstarkimagines]

Zuko x female reader series: Part One

Imagine being General Zhao’s daughter and the rebellious childhood best friend of Prince Zuko. You haven’t seen him since he was banished but come across his ship at sea and are reunited. It’s the first time you’ve ever seen Zuko’s scar and he’s worried what you’ll think of it.  Zuko’s particularly worried because despite being just friends your opinion matters a lot to him, because he’s just a bit (a lot) in love with you.

Part two here

Part three here

Part four here

Part Five here

Part Six here

Zuko’s POV

As soon as an admiral took over Zuko’s ship anger took over his body but then when he realised it was Zhao his anger faded. If Zhao was here that might mean you were too....with this in mind Zuko held his temper as Zhao swaned onto his ship and started giving his crew orders. Zuko searched all of Zhao’s crew mates but he couldn’t see you. He was barely listening to what Zhao was saying so eager to just see you, it’d been 3 long years and Zuko just wondered how you’d changed. When you didn’t appear Zuko sighed in defeat, he was itching to ask, to request to see you but he knew he couldn’t. Banishment forbid Zuko from contacting any one in any form, if he was to see you it’d have to be by chance and there was no way your father would let that happen. A fact made even more apparent as Zhao stood there smirking at the banished prince of the firenation, almost daring Zuko to dare mention your name. Iroh knew what Zuko wanted to ask, he’d seen his change in body language the second your father’s name was mentioned and he’d hoped you’d appear to lift his nephews spirits but you didn’t. He knew Zuko missed you but he also knew Zuko cared too much about you to risk dragging your name down with him. If it got out he’d been asking about you he could get you into trouble. So Zuko couldn’t ask about you but that didn’t mean Iroh couldn’t. “And where is your lovely daughter admiral? I heard she’s got a fleet just like yours”. Zuko tensed shocked and Zhao narrowed his eyes looking from Iroh to Zuko. Zuko’s eyes grew wide but he managed not to show any more emotion as held his breath, waiting for Zhao’s reply. “She’s not here” Zhao said smugly as he saw the prince’s posture slump, it was a micromovement but still Zhao noticed and smiled. “I sent her and her naval fleet to guard the fire nation borders”. “Aw that’s a shame” Iroh smiled sadly but he saw the look in Zhao’s eyes. The man was lying, you were here and he was going to buy Zuko some time with you. “How about a tour of your fleet Admiral?” he grinned at Zhao “one does not see a fleet as impressive as this every day”. Zhao smiled his ego stroked and nodded “of course, will the prince be joining us?”. Zuko glared and Iroh smiled “you stay here then, keep an eye on things” he smirked but his hint went right over Zuko’s head. The thought of seeing you had excited him but of course you weren’t here...nothing ever worked out for him. Zuko grunted and retreated to his room to sulk. Iroh scanned the horizon, he hoped you found Zuko and quickly, he would like to see his nephew smile again.

Your POV

You watched your father leave Zuko’s boat and smirked to only see Iroh with him, if you were a betting woman (and you were) you’d bet Zuko was still on the ship, probably sulking inside. You father tried to keep it a secret from you Zuko's boat was here but you had many eyes and ears throughout the fleet, mainly belonging to the workers who liked you because you didn’t threaten to burn them over any inconvenience unlike your father. The workers had whispered it to you and you discreetly made your way to the front of the fleet and boarded Zuko’s boat the second it was safe to. The crew apparently were expecting you, you suspected that was Iroh’s doing, and let you into Zuko’s quarters easily. You pushed open his door and smirked to see the familiar broad swords and belongings you’d forgotten about. Zuko was hunched over a desk in semi darkness and didn’t even look up when you entered. “I said I didn’t want to come on the tour uncle” he snapped and you smirked leaning against the door frame. “Well fine then guess I’ll go back to my own ship”. Zuko’s head snapped around so quickly you worried he’d get whip lash. “Y/n” he cried and rushed onto his feet. "The one and only" you smiled and walked forwards. It was weird neither of you were particularly sentimental but seeing each other again after 3 years you rushed to each other and just crumpled into one another. You only even hugged Zuko to embarass him but this was a serious hug. You clutched one another and held onto each other so tightly it hurt before seperating both grinning. "Zuko" you smiled and Zuko grinned back at you "it’s so good to see you but how...your father said you weren’t here". "So i figured" you rolled your eyes "now your reputation is questionable we wants to stop me associating with you, like him telling me that would stop me" you commented and Zuko’s grin got bigger. God you’d missed seeing that smile. "Still as headstrong as ever I see” Zuko smirked “the fire nation academy for girls hasn’t managed to change that?". You snorted "they tried but i’m pretty high ranking you know" you joked and Zuko laughed. You’d missed that laugh even more than the smile. Just happy to be in Zuko’s presence you just stared at him taking in everything detail of your best friend’s face before your eyes wandered to his scar. You hadn’t seen the scar before. You were away on a naval trip when Zuko was banished so this was the first time you’d seen it and you couldn’t help focusing on it. Zuko noticed you staring and went to turn that side of his face away self conscious and you winced “Zuko don’t!". Zuko paused and hesitated but obediently moved his head back so he was facing you, touching his scar awkwardly. "I forget you haven’t seen it before" he said quietly “that you weren’t there...”. You always felt guilty for not being there when Zuko was banished, you might’ve been able to stop it or atleast could’ve endured his punishment with him, so he didn’t have to face it alone. But you were at sea and didn’t even get back in time to say goodbye as your best friend was sent away for virtually forever. "What’s the verdict?” Zuko asked in an effort to fill the awkwardness “you were never one to lie to spare feelings so honestly how ugly does it look?". Zuko looked so sad, so beaten it broke you. Sure he’d never been particularly cheery but he’d never looked this sad before. An idea formed in your head and you smirked inwardly. "Honestly?" you asked wincing pretending to inspect his face and Zuko nodded staring at the ground. You smiled "well you were never a looker as a kid Zuko and i’m just saying that as your best friend okay! But you've grown up handsome scar and all" you grinned "if anything it makes you look dangerous, very attractive". Zuko blushed, grinned and looked away all at once. You smiled to see he no longer looked sad. "Shut up" Zuko managed to mutter and your smirk rose "i will not! I will tell everyone who will listen back at the palace how hot you’ve become". Zuko’s cheeks were almost as red as his scar as he put a hand infront of his face to hide it making you laugh. “I’ll be sure to say it infront of Mai in particular” you grinned bumping him with your elbow and Zuko’s blush grew. You took that to be because Zuko liked Mai but couldn’t be more wrong. Yes Zuko had been fond of Mai and he liked being around her but he always liked being around you more. When it became obvious you didn’t like him as anything more than a friend Zuko was heartbroken and started looking around for other options. Mai was one of those options and she was a good option, she was smart, beautiful, high ranking and they got along. Zuko had enjoyed dating her but it was never as good as it was just hanging out with you and that thought flooded back to Zuko the moment he saw you. He liked Mai but he was in love with you and nothing would ever change that. You took Zuko’s silence as him being shy and smiled grabbing onto his arm “awww look I made the prince blush”. “Stop it” Zuko said trying to get out of your grip but you only hugged him harder. “I will not! As your best friend it’s my job to tease you and I really am going to go tell Mai how ruggedly handsome you’ve grown, ponytail and all” you smirked twirling his hair with your fingers. Zuko managed to break out of your embrace and you laughed. “You see Mai often at the palace?” Zuko asked and you nodded flopping into one of his chairs. “Yeah we hang out some times” you explained and smiled to see Zuko’s shocked expression. “Suprisingly we get along rather well when you're not around, guess it’s cus we forget how gorgeous you are so can stop fighting over you for two minutes and talk" you said dramatically and Zuko blushed. Zuko remembered well the tension between you and Mai. Mai hadn’t trusted how close the two of you were, Mai thought Zuko liked you and she wasn’t wrong Zuko realised. Sure this banishment had made him realise how much he cared for you but it had always been there, he’d always cared about you more than anyone else since you were kids. "I forgot how embarassing you are" Zuko commented and you grinned at him. Zuko took the chance to examine your face and noticed all the ways it had changed in the years you’d been seperated. To Zuko’s eyes you’d only grown more beautiful but he knew that would be the case. Silence settled and Zuko’s face went all serious which you knew meant he wanted to tell you something. "It’s really good to see you” Zuko said into the floor “I’ve missed you a lot y/n" and you looked up at him suprised, Zuko never spoke about his emotions, atleast not so openly, you usually had to force them out of him. "Ive missed you too" you smiled taking his hand "when i got back and you were gone and when I heard your ridiculous mission...I worried I’d never see you again” you trailed off and tears filled your eyes. Zuko blinked shocked to see you so serious when you always had a smile or chip on your shoulder. But soon enough you shook your head and smiled again “so hurry up and capture the avatar so you can come home yeah?". Zuko laughed and nodded squeezing your hand “trust me I’m trying”. “Any way I can help, no matter how big, just tell me” you told him “I’ll do it and won’t tell a soul, I just need you back Zuko, you know I’m always thinking of you don’t you?”.”You haven’t forgotten me?” Zuko asked bashfully and you scoffed. “How could I forget my best friend! The person who made growing up in that hell hole bareable! The person who’d sneak me into the palace to get at the fancy food and then bail me out when I got caught. The person who gave me this scar” you smirked pointing to the large one on your arm “because he was so bad at sheathing his knives! Or the boy who gave me a turtle duck for my birthday when I was 8 because he knew I liked them but we didn’t have a pond”. Zuko smiled “you named it Jeremiah...how is he?”. “Good” you grinned “the point is i’ll never forget you, ever Zuko and soon enough you’ll be home again but until then I’ll keep your memory alive”. Zuko felt more emotion in these minutes then he’d felt in years. He knew he loved you, no matter all the times he’d tried to convince himself it wasn’t that serious, and was just overcome with the urge to tell you. He’d been terrified to admit his feelings to you for years but now he didn’t know if or when he’d next see you. What did he have to lose? “Y/n...” he started sitting forward “there’s something I’ve got to tell you...I’ve known for years but was too scared to....” when the door was thrown open. “Y/n” Zhao yelled storming into the room, Iroh close behind him “what are you doing in here?”. You rolled your eyes “seeing an old friend dad what does it look like?”. Your father looked furious but you were used to it now. “I told you to stay on your ship” your father glared and Zuko got angry at his tone. “It was my fault I asked her to come”. You shot Zuko a grin, he was always trying to cover for you but not this time. “No he didn’t, I found him, you had no buisness keeping this from me, Zuko’s my friend you know I’d do anything to see him”. Your father looked from you to Zuko and nodded, he had no doubt about that. He’d known the prince was in love with you for a while and back when he was an actual prince that had been good, now we was a rejected prince there was no way he’d encourage that. “Do you have any idea how much trouble you could get us in for this! You know you’re not allowed any contact with the traitor!” you dad yelled. You felt Zuko tense and stood infront of him blocking him from your father’s view. “Zuko’s not in the fire nation and neither are we, there’s no rule about avoiding him if our ships come close to one another and it’s not like I was here long”. “Still” Zhao glared “Ozai won’t like it! His punishment doesn’t include chats with friends”. You rolled your eyes “Zuko’s dad will never find out, who’s going to tell him?”. “I won’t” Iroh said helpfully and you nodded to your dad “see”. Your dad glared “fine but I want you out of here now! We are not risking falling out of favour just so you could see that excuse of a boy”.You rolled your eyes “whatever but let me say goodbye atleast”. Your dad went to object but you spun to face Zuko ignoring him. “Zuko i’m sorry whatever you had to say will have to wait till the next time I see you”. “whenever that is” Zuko muttered and you frowned. “Don’t talk like that” you commanded “I’ll see you again soon Zuko”. Zuko didn’t look convinced so you forced him to look at you closely. “Have I ever lied to you before? ever?”. “Many times” Zuko replied and you rolled your eyes “no about something as serious as this?”. “No” Zuko admitted and you smiled “see, so i’m telling the truth, i’ll see you soon enough, it won’t be that long, if anyone can do this mission it’s you, I know it!”. Zuko blushed and your father coughed “y/n now!”. “I’m coming” you snapped before you smiled at Zuko and hugged him tightly. Your father made an angry noise and Zuko blushed feeling his glares, he was hyper away many people were watching but hugged you back anyway. “I’ll miss you Zuko but nothing will ever stop you being my best friend”. Zuko blushed and nodded “I know”. “Y/n” your dad snapped and you nodded. “I love you Zuko” you smiled and his blush skyrocketed. He knew you didn’t mean it like he did but still hearing you say that... Zuko was aware of what a spectacle you were causing but it only made him smile more. You were always one to cause a scene, constantly over the top so he knew you were doing this to embarass him one last time before you left. He didn’t want to give you the satisfaction of winning so just replied honestly. ”I love you too” Zuko said and you grinned suprised he’d actually said it back as your father came and grabbed your arm “that’s enough”. You glared at him but squeezed Zuko’s hand “goodbye Zuko”. “Goodbye Y/n, i’ll be home soon, just you wait and see” and you grinned at him one last time before letting your father drag you out.

Zuko’s POV

Zuko watched you go ignoring the way his uncle was smirking at him or the way his chest now felt empty again. He would do everything and anything to capture the avatar so he could get back to the firenation. Not for his father, not for his reputation, not even to regain his honour but for you. Zuko would do anything necessary to get back to you, nothing not even an impossible mission would get in his way.

[lastwagontrainhopper]

A guiding hand

Royai week day 2 - Serene (let’s collectively ignore how late I am posting this ok thaaaanks)

Summary:   “She expected Roy to follow up with a flirty comment or joke; that was usually how this type of conversation went. Instead, after a moment, he let out a sight. When he spoke again, his voice had a melancholic tone to it.

"That right there is the one sight that I really miss. ” ”

---

The Colonel and his Lieutenant share a late-night conversation. (Blind!Roy)

Words: 2489 

Tags: Blind Roy Mustang, Fluff and Angst, Late Night Conversations, Established Relationship, Canon Compliant

read on aot

“They had left their windows wide open, letting in a soft breeze to relieve them from the heavy summer heat. The curtains were rising and falling without a sound, fluttering in the air like ghosts. Even the streets around the house were quiet at that hour; the only thing that broke the stillness of the night was Riza's voice.

"As for Senator Harn's wife, she was wearing a very elegant apricot-colored dress. With her signature high hairdo, of course.”

Their blankets had long been kicked away to the bottom of the bed in a messy pile. Roy was lying on his back, facing to the ceiling, one hand playing idly with a lock of Riza's hair.

"Apricot?" His eyebrows furrowed slightly. "That's the yellow with a touch of pink, right?”

"That was pretty much it, yes." Riza was lying on her side, her head against her hand, elbow propped up on the pillow. The room was covered in shadows, but the flickering lights from the window on the street allowed her to see the outline of Roy's face.

"And you said Harn had a royal blue jacket...That must have made for an odd contrast.”

Riza smirked. "Yes, that's what several people seemed to think. It looked as if the General and his wife had not consulted with one another before coming to the gala.”

A sly smile spread across Roy’s face. "Ha! And you just know the rumors about their marriage are already flying high. It's sort of ironic, considering how Harn is constantly babbling to the Parliament about the “traditional family” and the “sanctity of marriage” and whatnot." His hand came to lightly circle Riza's wrist, his thumb tapping the back of her hand. "I’m sure you now understand how crucial fashion is in Central. It's not just a matter of taste: it's inherently political.”

"Sure," she answered, unconvinced. "Anyway. The Harns didn't capture the guests' attention that long, since the buffet was brought shortly after.”

Roy hummed appreciated. "And that was a good one. I've rarely tasted crab this delicious.”

"Yes, and they must have put as much effort into the presentation as in the cooking, because the set-up was magnificent. Everything was served on glittering silver plates, which reflected the glow of the chandeliers. On each table, the dishes were arranged in a sort of pyramid, culminating with the piece of meat or seafood. It looked extremely fragile, like...like some sort of house of cards, or crystal architecture, defying gravity - but they all stood the evening without crashing down. It was breathtaking.”

This had become the most constant part of their day. Almost every night, as they lay in bed before going to sleep, Riza would describe to Roy a long list of the things he hadn’t been able to see during the day. When they had first started this habit, as they were working on the the reconstruction of Ishval, Riza's descriptions had been much more pragmatic, like a mission report: which building seemed in need of repair? Which tribal leader looked unsatisfied during their morning meeting? She did her best to give him this information as the day went by, but there were always important details that she missed.

As the years had passed and the two had distanced themselves from the military, Riza's description had slowly become more lyrical. She began to tell him about beautiful sights that he was missing – a particularly colorful sunset, or the way the city lights looked at night. As time went by, she started to enjoy these conversations and more more, and they became increasingly long. It got to the point where, as Riza saw something pretty during the day, she found herself immediately thinking of the way she would describe it to Roy later at night.

"You should try to write a book," he had told her once. "You're so good at this - I can picture in my mind everything that you're telling me about like I was seeing it."

"It wouldn't be the same," she had answered, shaking her head. "I like hearing your reactions."

He had arched his eyebrows, smirking. "And yet you scold me every time I interrupt you.”

"Stop being overdramatic,” she had retorted. “Now let me continue." They had left it at that.

Sometimes Riza would rest her head on his chest as she went on with her stories. This was what Roy preferred.  Ever since losing his eyesight, he had grown much fonder of physical contact, even casual, with her - after all, it was the surest way he could know that she was by his side. But Riza liked to remain slightly further, just next to him, so that she would be able to observe him during their late-night conversation. His face would take on such a special expression at those times, almost peaceful, or...serene.

Serene. That would have been the last word anyone would have chosen to describe Roy under normal circumstances. Despite his reputation as a slacker, he was a man that was constantly busy thinking about one thing or another, pondering, planning his next ploy – or his next date with a certain Lieutenant. His eyes in particular had always betrayed the constant working of his mind: they were restless, always darting around the room to study the people they were talking to, noticing details in their postures, noting suspicious movements out of the corner of his eye.

And, Riza knew it well, even the moments of rest didn’t bring Roy much serenity. More often than not, his sleep was plagued by violent nightmares that would wake him screaming in the middle of the night - or at least, that tensed and distorted his expression as he slept.

This had not changed since the Promised Day. But since Roy’s fight in the underground of Central, his blind eyes had lost their piercing look and had taken on a milky appearance. In the first few weeks, Riza had hated meeting that blank stare - it reminded her too much of what his eyes used to look like, as well as symbolizing her failure as a bodyguard.

But eventually, she had come to see a certain beauty in them, and in the calmness they brought to Roy's expression. He was still as expressive as ever, with his trademark crooked smile and taunting eyebrows. But in the evening, when they were alone together, his face truly relaxed. As Riza described the day's events to him, he would focus entirely on her voice, letting his mind recreate the image she was painting. His eyebrows would loosen and his forehead became smooth, free of its usual furrow; his mouth would fall half-open. At this particular moment, Roy took on a serene expression that Riza had never seen on him before, and she never got tired of looking at it.

"I need to tell you, unfortunately," Riza broke the silence that had settled, "that you were not the best-dressed man at the reception.”

Roy propped himself up on his elbows, frowning with surprise. So much for serenity.

"What? Who was?”

“You’re not going to be happy about this,” Riza said, trying to hide the small smile in her voice. "But Colonel Birks made quite an impression. He wore a rather daring suit, made of a black  fabric from which red velvet patterns stood out.”

Roy huffed with indignation. "Velvet! Nonsense. He obviously can’t stop pushing the boundaries of extravagance – and of bad taste.”

"I don't know," Riza said evasively. “I thought it was pretty elegant…and I wasn't the only one.”

Roy ran a hand through his hair, ruffling it. "Outdressing the president should be considered insubordination," he muttered under his breath. "I'll call Ms. Zhao tomorrow. I need something more avant-garde for the next gala. Maybe with some silk mixed in with a cotton suit?”

He lay down again on the bed and raised his arm, inviting her to come closer. Riza moved to nestle up against him, putting her head on his shoulder, a hand on his chest. Roy wrapped an arm around her waist and buried his nose in her hair. Whenever he did that, his breaths would tickle Riza's neck, making her giggle; she would always pretend to be annoyed but it, but they both knew better.

After a moment, Roy tucked some of her hair away from her face. He brought his lips close to her ear. "Tell me again what you were wearing."

Riza felt a shiver go down her spine. That deep voice that Roy used when he whispered always got a reaction out of her, no matter what cliché or silly thing he would say.

A wry smile crossed her lips. "At this point, you know my wardrobe better than I do, Roy. ”

"I know," he answered, unabashed. "But I like hearing you describe it."

Riza chuckled. “Well,” she began, “I was wearing the flowy emerald green skirt that Rebecca got me for Christmas, a brown leather belt, and my white blouse. The one with the embroidery on the collar. ”

He hummed in appreciation. "With your golden high heels, I'm guessing."

"With my golden high heels," she nodded, "because even though my feet are killing by the end of the night when I wear them, they do really go well with that skirt." Her hand started to play with the ring that Roy wore as a necklace. "I didn't put much makeup on because of how humid the weather was. But I did wear my bright red lipstick."

She felt his cheeky smile even before he spoke. "I can recognize it by taste, now."

If they weren’t pressed so close together, she would have dug her elbow into his ribs. She rolled her eyes instead. "I also had my gold bracelet to go with the shoes, and the earrings you bought me to complete it all. What else...my hair was in a bun, and, of course, I had my necklace."

She expected Roy to follow up with a flirty comment or a joke; that was usually how this type of conversation went. Instead, after a moment, he let out a sight. When he spoke, his voice had a melancholic tone to it.

"That right there is the one sight that I really miss. ”

Riza felt her smile drop. A lump appeared in her throat. Roy rarely complained about his blindness; even in the months following the Promised Day, he had adapted to his new lifestyle with impressive resilience. At first, it seemed as if his disability had affected his Lieutenant, plagued by guilt, more than himself. Still, Riza knew that he must have carried a lot of silent regrets through the years. There was so much Roy had had to give up, so many compromises he had had to reluctantly accept on his plan to reform Amestris – and on his personal life.

Riza disentangled herself gently from his grasp and straighten up, half sitting, to observe him. One of his arms was folded under his head, and he still seemed to be looking at the ceiling - but of course, that was just an impression. She ran a hand through his hair, brushing them away from his face. He smiled slightly at her touch, but she didn't need to see the pupils of his eyes to know that his heart wasn't in it.

She didn't like seeing him like this. With thoses cloudy eyes, melancholy turned his serene expression into a confused one - like he was a child that got lost and couldn't look for his way home.

Riza laid down again and rested her head on the pillow, her face turned toward Roy. She started to gently stroke his arm. "At least, you can keep in your mind the image of what I – and you – looked like in the prime of our youth," she said after a moment in a playful tone, trying to comfort him. "You won't need to see us get all old and wrinkled.”

To her surprise, Roy's face saddened further.

"Don't say that. Beautiful women are like fine wine, they only get better with age - that's what Chris used to say. I always wanted to see how you would look as you grew old.”

Riza raised her eyebrow, surprised. "Really?" she answered in spite of herself.

He nodded. "Not everyone ages gracefully, of course. But I know that wrinkles would look flattering on you; you have such elegant features. And silvery hair never fails to give this distinguished look - at least on women," he added, running a hand through his hair, suddenly self-conscious. His eyebrows furrowed. "Do I already have grey hair?"

Riza felt her shoulders relax. "You're almost completely bald by now, Roy."

He winced. "Please don't joke with that. I don't know what I would do if this were to happen.

Riza simply smiled, and they fell back into a comfortable silence. She watched Roy’s chest rise and fall with his breathing, lulled by the calm rhythm.

"You know, I always wished I could see you grow old, also because it would have meant that we made it."

Riza felt her breath catch in her throat.

She reached up and placed her hand on his cheek, hoping her touch could tell him what her words couldn’t.

“We did make it, Roy.” Now of all time, she wished he could see her face.

"I know," he said. He took her hand and brought it to his lips, pressing a light kiss against her knuckles. "I know."

Riza propped herself up on her elbow. She close her fingers around his, and squeezed firmly.

"Listen. We'll just do like with everything else. When my hair turns grey, I'll describe it to you. And as for the wrinkles," she placed his hand on her face, "you can see that for yourself."

Roy made a small smile. For the first time, he turned to face her, placing the tip of his fingers on both sides of her face. That was something he never tired of doing. Before he had lost his sight, he had always been able to read her like a book, understanding the meaning behind even the most subtle of her facial expressions. Now, he could do it in a much more literal sense, by tracing the surface of her body, reading the lines on her skin as if they were words written in braille.

"And when my face is so wrinkled it's unrecognizable,” she continued, "you will know the story behind each one of them.” She injected a smile into her voice. “The ones I already have on my forehead, for example, come from the stress of having spent so many years asking you to do your paperwork.”

His fingers brushed her forehead, and he smiled, abashed. "And you're all the more beautiful for it, my dear." He reached toward her and, guided by his hands, placed a light kiss on her head. “I can’t wait to see the rest.” ”

[blazedgraysons]

You're No Good - Ch. 2

C.J. Bennett is an overly ambitious student who dreams of shadowing her favorite author, Eli Jennings. The only thing standing in her way: Grayson Dolan.

warnings: this is a rough draft of a series i never finished. i'm posting the finished chapters before leaving this account. 🤍

part 1

If American Lit 1102 was C.J.’s personal hell, her job could at least be considered her own reprieve.

Sunnyside Vintage is an old shop off of Sunset, having been open for the last 30 years. It wasn’t the nicest of thrift stores — the clothes always have a weird mothball smell and everything is old - and not in the trendy way.  C.J. loves it. The windows are huge, letting California sunlight wash the stucco walls gold, and the mannequins are always dressed straight out of the 70’s. The pay isn’t always great, but C.J. is allowed to take whatever she wants more than makes up for it in her eyes.

“I just don’t understand. I mean, Stevens has praised me this entire semester. She even told me personally he’s never had a student write as well as me nor pick up on the work as fast as I have. Wouldn’t that be qualities you’d want in an intern, Bea? Even Grayson Dolan would’ve been a better pick.” C.J. turns to her boss, angrily folding flared jeans.

Another reason C.J. loves Sunnyside —  her boss, Beatrice “Bea” Walker. Once a glitzy soap star of the ’50’s, she retired with her husband and opened Sunnyside in the late 80’s. Despite being in her late-70s, she still holds on to the same glamour and charm that made her a household name a century prior.

“Maybe there was another reason. It could be something other then your application.” She croaks, lifting a pumpkin to place next to a costumed mannequin. As halloween rapidly approaches, the store was starting to transform to fit the fall season — hoping to draw in customers to purchase unique costumes for the holiday.

Before she can move to help Bea, the doors chime, signaling an entrance. Walking through with seemingly-glowing skin and a symphonic smile was Alexi, C.J.’s best friend and roommate. It’s hard to miss Alexi whenever she walks into a room — from her bleached-blue hair to eclectic style, she’s never been afraid to follow her own path, something C.J. has always admired. She walks straight to C.J., wrapping her in a loving embrace

“Are you okay? James told me what happened.” Alexi leaves an arm around her, and while C.J. knows it’s supposed to be comforting; all she can think about is how much she wants Alexi to leave. It’s one thing to rant to her elderly boss, someone who would love her in spite of her shortcomings and faults. But to know her own friend group has already heard about her misfortune, sending over someone to comfort and soothe, it was all just a little too pitiful for her to handle.

“Theta’s are throwing a party tonight. It’ll be the perfect pick-me-up, and you can forget all about Evans Jensen-“

“Eli Jennings” C.J. corrects.

“Whoever” Alexi rolls her eyes at the interruption, “is missing out on your incredible talent because of an idiotic professor’s incompetence. Everyone’s going and it won’t be the same without you, C.”

“As much as I would love that, Lex, I really just want to be alone tonight. Shitty beer, cheap Indian food, a sad movie so I don’t have to think about how these past four years have been a waste.”

“Not a waste, first of all. Look, I know that you’ve had this whole plan for your life since you popped out the womb, but shit happens, things change. This isn’t a failure, just think of it as a temporary setback. Plus, when life gives you lemons, you…” She trails off, waiting for C.J. to finish.

“Make lemonade?” She sighs.

“Use it to chase tequila.” Alexi giggles.

“I would go, but I have to close. Right, Bea?"

"Don't use me as an excuse. You should go, maybe find a boy to take home." Alexi makes a face at Beatrice's statement and C.J.'s face heats up.

“You’re going - no more buts. Wear something cute. Something that maybe doesn’t make if look like you were alive for Vietnam.” Alexi’s already leaving, kissing Beatrice lightly on the cheek on her way out.

This was how C.J. found herself standing outside the Theta Lambda  frat house, October air chilling her through her jacket. She shifts her weight between her feet, surveying the small group around her. Alexi talks animatedly on the phone, asking for whoever to meet them out front.

A random person bumps into her, forcing her to spill the contents of her purse onto the dewey grass. C.J. groans, bending down to pick everything up while mentally thinking to herself all of the other things she could be doing right now.

A pair of dirty air forces steps in front of C.J. and she slowly looks up at the girl standing in front of her. She’s pretty, stunning actually. C.J. recognizes her immediately. Channing Williams - social chair of Rho Xi sorority and the key to all the best parties on campus. Dressed in a black romper and red velvet jacket, she’s everything C.J. isn’t and a quiet twinge of jealousy plucks her heart. ‘I bet she’s never lost out on an internship.’ she thinks bitterly.

“Sorry, do you know anyone?”  Channing asks, voice soft and sweet with a clipboard in hand. C.J. looks at Alexi, waiting to hear her answer.

“Not really? I mean we know people, but we aren’t going to be on your clipboard or anything so if you could just let us slide through, I’m sure there’s someone here who could like vouch for us or something?” C.J. wants to slap her — not only did she drag her out in below-freezing weather, but she couldn’t even guarantee them a way inside.

“Well this is a greek-only party so unless you know anyone….” Channing trails off, not openly wanting to kick them out in front of so many people.

“That means no GDI’s.” C.J. didn’t even notice the miniature-sized freshman standing besides Channing. She clearly looks annoyed at the intrusion, keeping her from inside where everyone else is to deal with their little group. C.J. briefly wonders if the upturned stare is a requirement for Rho Xi or if that’s was just especially reserved for her.

“Geed’s?” Alexi repeats, raising an eyebrow.

“Goddamn independents. Y’know, not greek-affiliated.” At this point, C.J. is ready to call the whole night and retire in her bed when she see’s someone appear in between Channing.

“They’re cool, Chan. They’re with me.” Micayla Zhao enters, covered in glitter, sweat and what C.J. is almost sure to be a line of salt from a body shot. C.J. has always considered Micayla the only cool Rho Xi, having had multiple classes with her over the years. Micayla fit right in with their group: smart, beautiful and a wicked sense of humor.

Channing nods, seeming bored and just wanting to get back inside with everyone else. She does a quick finger tap with Micayla (sacred Rho Xi bullshit is what Alexi always calls it) and moving along the line.

“Are your sisters always that charming?” Micayla rolls her eyes, grabbing C.J. to move them through the house to the backyard. A huge bonfire is set up in the middle with a canopy near by for the designated drinking spot. She watches as Micayla confidently moves through the crowd, stopping from time to time to say hey to friends and classmates on the way.

“Most of the time. Look, they’re just possessive over tradition and the Rho-Theta party has always been major exclusive, Channing’s been fighting to make it open to outsiders.” Micayla yells over the thumping bass.

“Yeah, I’m sure they love all the GDI’s.”  C.J. exaggerates her voice, pinching her nose to capture the nasally, valley accent Channing is almost famous for. Micayla stops, and had C.J. not been paying attention, she would’ve ran into her.

“Dude, you’re kind of being a bitch right now. Look, I get your bummed about your internship, but Channing wouldn't have let you in if she didn't want to. Would you rather be getting drunk, in your apartment alone?”

“Yeah, actually.” Micayla stares at C.J. for a second, looking like she’s about to bitch her out. As if Alexi can sense the fight forming, she grabs Micayla by the arm.

“Let’s go get a drink, you look like you need a drink in you.” They both walk towards the house, Alexi mouthing ‘Be Nice’ over her shoulder before disappearing completely. C.J. exhales, counting to 3 in her head before walking over to where drinks are set up.She fills up her solo cup, watching as the fizzy liquid moves closer and closer to the top.  Before she can take a sip, someone bumps into her spilling half the drink over the side.

“Hey, watch it!” A thick Jersey accent exclaims, and C.J. groans, wondering if this night could get any worse.

“Bennett?”

Grayson appears in front of her, denim jacket over a black t-shirt and black jeans. She takes note of the dark spot growing on the front of his shirt, from where she spilt her drink.

“What’re you doing here?”

She simply shrugs, refilling the missing contents of her cup.“I didn’t know parties were your scene. I always imagined in your free time you’re in like a dark room, crying alone to Sylvia Plath novels.”

“Nice to know you think of me out of class, Grayson” C.J. takes a sip of her beer. She moves to walk away, hoping he would take it as an end of conversation.

"How'd you get in? Isn't this like Rho's only?" He asks, following her to the edge of the bonfire. She looks at him, watching as the light frames the features of his face.

"Couldn't I say the same about you? You're not a Theta." He just stares at her intensely until she relents, "Micayla Zhao got me in. Y'know her?"

"We had history together sophomore year. She helped me cheat on the midterms."

C.J. laughs shortly. "Sounds like her."

Grayson opens his mouth to speak again, but is cut off.

“As much as I’m enjoying this conversation, Grayson, don’t you have someone else to bother? Someone who, y’know, actually likes you?” If that comment bothered him, he didn’t show it, continuing talking to her as if they haven’t pissed each other off continuously for the past four years.

“What do you think about Michael Eichler getting the internship spot?”  He asks. As if it wasn’t bad enough that she didn’t get the spot, now she has to sit and rub salt in the wound with her worst enemy.

“What’s there to think about? He got it, I didn’t. Fucking sucks.” He laughs, holding up his own drink.

“Cheers to that.” They both clink cups, and C.J. briefly wonders if the universe is still laughing at her.

"You know, that spot should've gone to one of us." He muses, watching the partygoers continue to stumble around them. He doesn't say anything after that, and she bites.

"Why should it have gone to one of us?"

"Well, think about it. We're both the top of our class, and I know for a fact Stevens has submitted your writing to collegiate magazines. There's no fucking way Michael fucking Eichler should've got that spot over one of us." C.J. pauses. She had known that Stevens appreciated her writing, but not enough to submit it anywhere. If what Grayson was saying was true, why hadn't she gotten the apprenticeship?

"Nothing I can really do about it now. He got the spot, I didn't. I guess I can become a second rate author now." She takes another sip, and Grayson snorts unattractively.

"I'm sure you'll be okay, Bennett. If Stevens like you, I'm sure there's another author dumb enough to want to publish your work too." She glares at him.

"And here I thought we were becoming friends."

"As if you actually would've wanted to become friends with me."

"Oh yeah, that's what I do in between my Sylvia Plath crying sessions. Desperately wish that Grayson Dolan would become my best friend." Sarcasm drips off every word and he looks at her before taking another long sip of his drink.

“You know you’re actually kinda cool, Bennett. When you’re not trying to bite my head off in the middle of lecture”

“Maybe if you didn’t have such shitty takes, I wouldn’t want too.” Whatever retort Grayson was planning falls from his lips when Channing appears by his side, tucking herself underneath his arm.

"Hey, Gray. I got you another drink." Two Coronas hang from her manicured hand, and he whispers inaudibly to her, giggling between the two of them. C.J. begins to feel awkward, and coughs uncomfortably.

“Oh, you’re the GDI from earlier,” Channing looks up at her half-lidded, dark eyelashes framing red-tinged brown eyes.

“Yeah, that’s me.” Channing shifts her weight, biting her lip and feeling like an intruder. "I didn't know you two knew each other?" C.J. supplies, feeling desperate for conversation

"Gray and I had math together freshman year, "They both stare at each other awkwardly, silent tension as they wait for the other to speak.

“So, I’m gonna go." She speaks.

“No, you don’t have to." Channing is already turned back to Grayson, looking like she wouldn't mind C.J.'s exit.

“No it’s fine” Neither Grayson nor Channing seem to protest anymore, and C.J. turns back to see her friends looking at her, both amused and curious at her interaction with the duo. She begins to walk towards them, feet and heart sinking with every step, not feeling any better about her current predicament.

“Hey Bennett,” She turns around to face Grayson. “Think about what I said. About the internship stuff” She just nods, and leaves the pair. The moment she reaches her initial group, Alexi pulls her towards them.

“You and Dolan were just talking and it didn't end in a screaming match. That’s new. What did he want?”

“Nothing. Just typical Grayson Dolan bullshit."Alexi looks like she doesn't believe her, and frankly C.J. doesn't believe herself. She thinks back to what Grayson said, about how they were the only real competition for the apprenticeship. Whatever he meant by that could be handled tomorrow.

"C’mon. Didn’t  you say something earlier today about tequila shots?” She asks

“Atta, girl. That’s what I’m talking about.” She lets Alexi drag her away, sparing one last look at Grayson before entering the fraternity house.

[derpderp462140-blog]

In this photo every single person has swivelled themselves to look at the camera, except Wanrong, who is looking down seemingly dejected. The man to her second-left is even looking at her, perhaps noticing this.   

It is maybe the only photo that shows Wanrong’s sadness.  

Previously, before being booted out of the Forbidden City her life was much more glamorous. 

"I hear you're a more enlightened woman, I hope you do not treat me like everybody else. Maybe you've started feeling the distress. I am very lonely, no friends. Treat me like a friend. Can you promise me?" – Wanrong repeated, "Yes, I promise." trying to restrain her voice from shaking. "This is good," Puyi feels happy and bids goodbye to Wanrong, "Go rest and have a good evening.’‘ 

Wanrong had her own kitchen in the Palace of Gathered Elegance in the Forbidden City. She could order people to buy sauces, meat or any food at will.[25] One of her favourite meals was said to be dog meat.[22] As Puyi rarely visited her she often ate alone with a dozen dishes sprawled out on the table. Sun Yaoting, a eunuch recalled a conversation he had with Wanrong on such an occasion:

''Have you eaten, Chunshou? (name for Sun) Come let's eat together.''

''Your slave thanks the Empress.''

''Save your thanks.'' Wanrong seemed uninterested in etiquette.

''Your slave has just eaten.''

Styles of

Xuantong Empress

Reference style

Her Imperial Majesty

Spoken styleYour Imperial Majesty

Alternative styleEmpress Consort (Titular)

''What did you have?''

''Pies.''

''How many did you eat?''

''Seven.'' Sun Yaoting gestured. ''They were about this big, the size of a palm.''

''Go to the kitchen and tell them I'll have meat pies tomorrow.''

The following day the Imperial kitchen made meat pies with Wanrong offering some to Sun.

''Come and have some.''

''Come on have some more,'' she urged.

'''I'm full already.''

''Didn't you say you could eat seven?''

Sun hesitated. ''Your slave cannot eat so many because those pies have thin wrappings and plenty of meat.''

Wanrong giggled.

Sun felt uneasy, Wanrong was normally amiable and kind but sometimes burst into fits of temper which other eunuchs had warned him about. Wanrong had previously expelled a eunuch who was hard of hearing who had angered her.[26] He had to remain standing which made the situation further uncomfortable.[27]

Wanrong's brother said that the Empress rarely lost her temper and had respect for her servants and showed kindness to him, sending him chocolates while studying in Japan. He recalled: "Once, I went to see my sister to play, pointing to the eunuch next to us bowing, teasing my sister I said, "You say hit him." My sister, uncharacteristically, glared at me then said: "Didn't I tell you? Do not say this word, it's forbidden!" My sister often taught me through these little things to treat my subordinates with courtesy and respect."[28] At this time if someone spoke of beating a eunuch someone would quickly appear ready to hit them.[5] In another incident he recalled: "I remember once when I was a child eating Western food in the palace, I noticed that the eunuchs served everyone's food on the left side, but put mine on the right side. I felt very uncomfortable, so I said to the eunuch: it should be served on the left! When the eunuch heard that, he immediately changed the position. At this point, my sister said: ''You just make do with it.'' She thought that I was too picky and that the eunuch should not be embarrassed by this small matter."[5]

Once when she was dining alone she let two eunuchs have some oxtail soup. Sun further asked for some bread. Wanrong handed over a bun. Sun cheekily asked where the jam was with Wanrong responding, ''You really know how to enjoy yourself, don't you?'' Wanrong laughed. After the meal it was Sun's job to prepare a fruit plate. One day Zhao Xingshen accused Sun of stealing some apples. Zhao Xingshen told Wanrong: ''Chunshou has stolen some apples!'' with Sun saying: ''A few apples were rotten and I picked them out.'' ''Do you call that stealing?'' Zhao Xingshen replied: ''Whatever you call it, some apples are missing!'' Wanrong burst out laughing and emptied the fruits on the floor telling them to ''come and eat them all!'' with Sun picking one up, wiping it with his sleeve and eating it. Several other eunuchs then came over to pick some up which the Empress found hysterical.[29] Once in the evening when Wanrong retired to the bedchamber where her head adornments were removed by a lady-in-waiting she went to the main hall and sent for all her servants. Sun was told to bring out the imported sweets and dispersed them on the floor. ''This is all for you!'' Wanrong said. She watched as the servants quickly picked them up. ''These foreign sweets are very expensive, at least six or seven silver dollars a jin,'' she remarked. The sweets were actually much less expensive as Wanrong had no idea how the Accounting Office falsified accounts and cheated the imperial family out of their money.[30] Wanrong's friendly behaviour to ''lowly'' servants may be in part explained by the fact they were often the only people to keep her company.[31]

Wanrong and

Wenxiu

in the Forbidden City

Wanrong had a special tailor who would make new dresses almost every day.[32]Sun said that when having a bath she let her elderly maids do everything, including scrubbing her. Afterwards she would often sit on the side of the basin and admire her body.[33][34][35] Rong Qi remembered how Puyi and Wanrong, both teenagers, loved to race their bicycles through the Forbidden City, forcing eunuchs to move out of the way, and told Behr in an interview: "There was a lot of laughter, she and Puyi seemed to get on well, they were like kids together."[36] At the age of eighteen or nineteen (Chinese age) Wanrong still behaved like a child and enjoyed playing games with her maids and eunuchs. She once played ''drop the handkerchief'' in the courtyard into nine o'clock in the evening. The Empress was reluctant to see visitors go, making them play games until everyone was thoroughly tired. Sometimes a eunuch would be summoned and be on duty for no other reason than to keep her company or play with her.[37] Wanrong, in her loneliness, longed for someone to amuse her.[38] One day Reginald Johnston visited unexpectedly. He was wearing a Chinese long gown and bowed low with clasped hands instead of kowtowing which the eunuchs found strange. The Empress found his Chinese pronunciation amusing. Wanrong got dressed up in a couple of cheongsams including her favourite dark green cheongsam and flower-pot shoes. Johnston took numerous photos of her in several locations. When they were developed she looked at them with her maids and eunuchs, laughing happily.[39]

[jessikahathaway]

Under the Covers

DON’T OWN THE PHOTO!

Pairing: Kim Taehyung X Reader

Genre: Romance, Spy!AU, Action

Warnings: Graphic depictions of sexual intercourse (Drunk), guns and violence, birth (not too graphic), Character Death, Blood (Not really any gore). If I forgot anything please let me know!

Words: 23.4k 

Sorry I have been absent but please enjoy this spy!AU that’s been in my WIP forever and a half. Love you guys! ~ Jess

The day had been dull, hours ticking by slowly mocking you. You’d recently been put on probation because of irrational thinking out in the field... So, now you were working in the boring section of the office, filing papers and trying to be on your best behavior. 

It wasn’t your fault! 

Your partner was being a damn coward and wasn’t willing to take the shot! You had to or the damn criminal was going to get away with everything... You didn’t mean for an innocent to get caught in the crossfire.

Accidents happen, variables get scewed and people get hurt. But how many more would’ve been at risk if you hadn’t done what you did? At the end of the day somebody has to take the burden, and if it had to be you then so be it.

Although, being forced to live this life day to day was incredibly mundane... How did the office agents do it? Did they enjoy the monotone, unlively plane they were existing in? You were having a hard time believing that. Life was so short, why play it safe when you could lay everything on the line. Risk it all. 

You were a field agent from the International Espionage Agency, stationed in Seoul, South Korea at the moment. This is where you were receiving your punishment. The Seoul office was one of the calmest ones in the entire Agency. Some thought it was due to lack of talent, others thought it was due to the sheer drop in crime rates since the Agency was founded there. There was nothing to do, no one to fight. And not nearly enough booze.

A sweet desk assistant, Lisa, you think her name was, approached you. “Ma’am? Director Jin wishes to speak with you, if you’d follow me please?” she requested. You jumped at the chance for a change in scenery and followed behind her quickly. 

The clacking of keyboard keys resounded in your brain as you and Lisa meandered through the desks and identical office cubicles. People whose eyes were glued to their screens as if it were their last breath. You shuddered to think if this were to be the rest of your life. Had your blunder been that bad?

Lisa finally led you to a deep mahogany door that stood taller than you deemed necessary. However, interior decorating had never been your strong suit. She knocked softly, a deep come in followed. “Please enter,” she announced, opening the door for you. Awkwardly, you nodded your head before dipping inside of the room. The center of attention had never been your place. Much preferring to stick to the edge of walls and ducking behind counters and desks as bullets flew past your head was where you longed to be. 

The door shutting behind you made you jump slightly, before you stood face to desk with Kim Jin, Director of the Seoul Espionage Agency. 

“Sir,” you said, bowing in respect.

“Please, sit,” he offered, doing so himself. You moved to comply and seated yourself in the plush seat provided. Jin cleared his throat before pulling open a file.

“Sir, if I may be so bold, under what circumstances am I here?” you questioned, trying to look at the folder in his hands. 

A sharp clap echoed through the room that made your skin crawl in nerves. “You were sent here for punishment, am I correct in this statement?” he asked, already aware of the answer. 

“Yes, Sir,” you confirmed. 

“And why did you receive punishment?” he quizzed again, sounding like a school teacher scolding a disobedient child. 

“Because of poor thinking in the field as well as doing harm to an innocent,” you answered back. 

“Correct,” he doted. You tried to keep your grimace in check, although it was getting harder by the second. “So, after all of that. Do you feel that you have received a fair punishment? Being sent to, “the most uncharacteristically dull” agency?” he said, finally lifting his eyes to yours. His glare was so dark you couldn’t keep eye contact any longer.

“Sir, I-”

“No bullshit excuses D3!” he growled, using your rank against you. Designated 3rd rank was your official title given by the agency. Field operative in the highest order. You were surprised you hadn’t been demoted. “I don’t know why your main office sent you to me, but ever since you got here you’ve been nothing but an eyesore in my office,” Jin stated.

“I’m sorry, Sir,” you offered lamely.

“If you were sorry then you’d actually do the work assigned to you. How many reports have you blown off or given to my other office workers, because you ‘don’t have the time’ for it? As I see it, you have plenty of time to fuck around on your phone or go out drinking in the afternoon? If you’re here on punishment, why are you acting as if you’re on a vacation?” he said, throwing pictures of your reckless behavior in your face. 

“I had to take that shot!” you defended. “If I hadn’t then the biggest drug lord in the Western Hemisphere would’ve walked right out of that damn store! I couldn’t let that chance go!” 

“You didn’t have to go through an innocent woman to get to him,” Jin growled dangerously. “You’re ten times smarter than that, I know you are. All of your testing shows me you knew better than that. You took the easy shot, not the best one,” he accused. 

“Where else was I supposed to shoot? Through my fucking knees? Sir, if there was another way I assure you that I would’ve found it!” 

“The door frame,” he stated. “It’s made out of a steel and titanium reinforced support system. It could’ve ricoheted and hit the target in the eye. No innocents harmed,” he stated, holding up the store blueprints you’d seen hundreds of times before that night. 

Fuck...

He was right. 

“What do you want me to do Sir? I can’t make it right, so what’s the point in rubbing my nose in it now?” you questioned, staring at the papers before you.

“I’m going a little off the rule book for you, considering how you are a special case indeed,” he stated. “Taehyung, you can come in now,” Jin announced.

The large doors opened to reveal a taller male, lithe frame and bronzed skin gracing him. His hair was a soft brown, gently billowing against the breeze the door created. You looked to him then back to Director Jin.

“Who is this, Sir?” you asked, peaking at the man he called Taehyung. 

“This, Y/N, is my best field agent Kim Taehyung,” Jin stated proudly.

“Pleased to meet you,” he said, giving a small bow before lifting his gaze to Jin. “Hyung,” he greeted. 

“Sir, what does he have to do with me?” you questioned. 

“Listen,” he growled in a warning. You shrunk back into your seat before nodding. “You and Taehyung are to be partners in a new mission,” Jin explained. You couldn’t help the excitement that flooded through you. Finally, out of this fucking office and into the field again!

Jin must’ve noticed your excitement. “However, Taehyung will be taking the lead on this mission. You are to follow his orders to the letter, am I understood?” 

“Sir-” 

“Am I understood?” he asked darkly. You nodded numbly, not wanting to get into any further shit. “Good, Taehyung has already been briefed on this assignment. But a refresher won’t hurt you. Taehyung-ah,” Jin stated. Taehyung nodded in understanding and sat down in the chair next to you. 

You examined him closer and you were slightly stunned. He was rather beautiful to behold. His skin was smooth and seemed to glow in the sunlight. His hair appeared soft to the touch. Although he wore the signature D3 smirk. He knew he was better than you, and he planned on rubbing that in the whole time you two were partners. This was turning out to be more of a punishment than you originally believed.

“Are you aware of this man?” Jin questioned, setting a picture down on the desk in front of you. 

“Of course,” you stated. “That’s Zhao Feng Tong, White Snake of Chinese politics... But what does that have to do with our assignment?” you questioned. 

“Feng has been getting his mutts to attack Korean Intelligence forces. As well as some state side. The IEA requested that I assign my best man in taking him down. However, we are in need of cover. Your specialty is undercover work, is it not?” he asked, directing the question to you.

“Yes, Sir,” you responded. 

“Perfect, you see that is the only place my best man lacks. He has no cover. So, you are to become Taehyung’s cover,” Jin explained. You quirked an eyebrow in confusion.

“Excuse me, Sir, but how am I to do that?”

“Patience is a virtue, one you’re lacking my dear,” you silenced yourself yet again. “As I was saying, you are to be Taehyung’s cover. Feng has his claws deep within the local government of a small town out in the country. You and Taehyung are to be a newlywed couple that are just moving to the town in hopes of starting a family. Feng is known to come during election time, once he’s there you are to eliminate him. These people are very wary of newcomers. I expect you to play your role perfectly, Miss Y/N,” Jin stated. “Otherwise you will be released from the International Espionage Agency permanently.”

Married? To Kim Taehyung?

Oh fuck.

---

You woke the following week with a wedding ceremony to attend. Pictures and things of the like were necessary in order for the new home to be believable. Stories, memories things all newlywed couples had a plethora of.

Taehyung, however, seemed less than enthused. 

Something you’d learned quickly in the time you’d spend with Taehyung was that he didn’t play nicely with others. It was a common theme among D3’s, not enjoying partnership and just wanting to get the job done alone. However, this time your livelihood was resting on you performing well. And like fuck you were going to let that happen. 

You walked into Jin’s office that morning to be greeted by a very bored looking Taehyung. He was looking at his phone and Jin was typing on his computer. You cleared your throat to announce your arrival. Jin looked up and nodded at your arrival, Taehyung remained focused elsewhere.

“There’s the blushing bride, has Lisa contacted you about the photography and the shoots?” Jin asked, you nodded obediently, not wanting to get in trouble before your assignment had even started. 

“Yes, a car is waiting for Taehyung and I out in the lot. We’re going to get our wedding and engagement photos done today. As well as anything else you can think of that couples have,” you declared. Jin nodded in approval then clicked his tongue at Taehyung. 

“Tae, I expect you to be on your best behavior for Miss Y/N, this is her area of expertise. Play nice,” he warned. Taehyung nodded and stood up, placing his phone in his pocket. 

“Come on then, let’s get married.”

---

The day passed uneventfully, as did the following weeks. You’d been put through so many outfits and fake smiles that everything was simply exhausting. However, the real work was yet to begin. You were packing your clothes up. Some of them are worn in photo shoots to prevent suspicion. 

Your phone was removed and a new one took its place. Photos of you and Taehyung as well as simplistic snapshots every girl had on her phone. You were assuming Taehyung had been given a similar set up. 

Tomorrow, you were to move across the country with this man and live as his new wife, until election time... Which was almost four months away. Of course Feng would be around the town doing campaigning and things of the like, however, that wouldn’t be the time to strike. You’d have to be patient this time. Think things through. 

You can’t slip up again. Looking through the photos on your new device you found one of Taehyung that you had taken in the park where you were getting your wedding photos done. He’d found a wildflower that had peaked his interest for the time being and was admiring it. You took the opportunity to capture the moment, one where he wasn’t ignoring you or putting you down for negligence. He was simply existing in nature.

You made it your screensaver and shut the device off for the night. Turning your head to your nightstand you saw the glittering jewels of your wedding and engagement rings. The delicate silver and diamonds wove around simplistically. Nothing too extravagant, but enough to show you were spoken for. Taehyung also had a similar ring, just a touch understated. 

Images of the prior weeks of preparation made your stomach clench in nerves. You hadn’t been part of such a big operation that relied heavily on your trademarked skill in years. Would you still have what it took? Could Taehyung rely on you as Jin said he could?

These doubts were misplaced of course. You were you. An Designated 3rd Ranked Officer of the International Espionage Agency.

And you weren’t going to fail again.

---

The morning sun blazed in your eyes as you and Taehyung drove through the countryside in silence. Your ring glittered in the sunlight as the roads wound on and became more treacherous. Taehyung had picked you up early, before the birds had even begun to sing, and definitely before you were willing to wake up. 

“Get up, we leave in ten minutes,” he said, throwing your pillow on the ground. You heard his footsteps receding into your living room. No doubt to collect the boxes you had placed there the night before. 

Taehyung was hard to get along with. A gruff exterior made it difficult to approach him and he held an air of superiority that was hard to breathe in. All in all, Taehyung really irritated you. 

He held your freedom over you like a stick and was quick to put you in your place. Sometimes more than necessary. During your wedding shoot, he’d pointed out that if his bride ever wore the dress you were wearing he’d leave them at the altar. That stung a bit seeing as how you had felt rather confident in the dress up until that point. 

The photos following his comment were unusable. 

For a top operative, he was a massive dick. 

Although, for the moment, he was silent. Focused on the road and not on you, which was preferable. 

Until he opened his Goddamn mouth. “I’m killing Feng,” he declared as he rounded a sharp corner. 

“I’m aware,” you sighed, looking out the window. 

“I don’t see why we have to go through this ridiculous game,” Taehyung said, looking at his ring with contempt. 

“Feng is a creature of caution. He’ll be on high alert during election season... We need to infiltrate now and make our presence less interesting than if we moved in a week before the election. We need patience,” you explained. 

“You’re one to talk about patience,” he sneered. You bit your lip harshly, not wanting to get into it with him right now. 

However, one prod can be too many. 

“I heard she died.”

Dead silent. 

“Pull over,” you breathed. 

“What?” he asked, straining to hear you. 

“I said pull the fucking car over!” you screamed. Taehyung jumped in his seat before doing as you asked. Before the moving truck had even come to a complete stop you opened the door and got out, stumbling slightly on the uneven ground. 

“Come on, are you really going to pitch a fit right now?” Taehyung asked, getting out of the driver’s seat to follow you.

“I don’t give a damn if they fire me, working with you is next to impossible. I didn’t know someone could be so egotistical and rude until I met you,” you growled, stomping down the road. 

“Where are you going? We’re miles from the nearest town,” Taehyung stated, standing with his arms crossed. 

“Perfect, maybe I’ll die out here and it’ll save Jin the trouble,” you glowered, walking closer to the guard rail of the road. The crunching gravel behind you signalled Taehyung’s approach. 

“Knock it off, we’ve got a job to do and I’m not leaving till it’s finished,” he said, grabbing your wrist. You turned quickly and faced him, cheeks red in anger.

“Then do it without me, you’re the one who said you could do this yourself. Money where your mouth is time, prove it.”

With that you yanked your wrist from his hands and kept moving down the road. “Jesus fuck you get on my nerves. Jin will be pissed if I show up to that house by myself. Come on Miss Undercover, get your ass back in the truck,” Taehyung stated. 

“No, Taehyung. I will not be getting my ass back in the truck, you can forget it!”

“Fine, you know what? Fine. I give up, you stuck up bitch. Walk to the next town for all I care,” he growled, heading back towards the truck.

“You are such an asshole!” you screamed, turning to start walking in the opposite direction...

When you slipped.

The gravel beneath your feet gave way as you began sliding underneath the guardrail. You were high in the mountains during this portion of the trip, and the roads weren’t well taken care of. 

Gravel ingrained new lacerations on your delicate flesh as you tried desperately to save yourself from the fall. Your calves were sticky with hot blood and dirt was clinging to the open wounds like a bacterial infested beauty.

Quickly, you latched onto the metal of the guardrail and attempted to pull yourself up. However, your wrist burned in the effort, scratched up due to your fall. The hot, sticky sensation of blood running down your arm made your hands slippery.

“Taehyung!” you screamed, hanging off of the weakened metal in fear. 

There was no response. Blood was pounding in your ears at the thought of death so close. You’d never feared it until now... Because now it was a possibility. 

“Taehyung, please!”

“Y/N?” Taehyung’s voice echoed in mild concern.

“Help me!”

The sound of dirt crunching at the approach of Taehyung’s footsteps sent relief through your veins. Taehyung’s face appeared before you as he wrapped his arms around your elbows and hauled you up onto the road. You were trembling in fear and exhaustion and Taehyung fell backwards, you on his chest. 

You hadn’t realized it before... But you were crying. 

“Fuck, your arm,” he said, sitting up. “Looks to be superficial, I think if we just-”

A loud sob broke through Taehyung’s sentence. His eyes went from your arm to your face as fat tears rolled down your cheeks. Suddenly you were crying loudly like a child, unable to stop. All the frustration and pent up emotions of the past months coming forward in the form of water flooding your eyes. 

Taehyung watched in shock as you broke down in front of him. “Hey, Y/N, are you hurt somewhere else? What’s wrong?” he asked, trying to figure out how to make you stop. 

“I-I ju-st-” and before you could finish your sentence cries won out. Taehyung looked at you quickly and confirmed that you weren’t injured anywhere else. Although you were still crying. 

“Hey, shh,” he soothed, wiping your cheeks with his sleeve. “We’re not getting anywhere like this,” he sighed, looking down at his knees. 

Eventually, your tears stopped and you were able to speak without cries interrupting your phrase. 

“I’m sorry, I went too far,” Taehyung said, wrapping your arm in a bandage. You swallowed hard as nodded in acceptance. “Allies?” he asked. You took his hand as he pulled you to your feet.

“Allies,” you confirmed.

---

You pulled up to your new house roughly three hours later. Taehyung and you had come to a mutual understanding.

Help me help you. 

You still weren’t particularly fond of him, but now working with him didn’t seem impossible. 

The place you were going to be calling home for the next few months stood before you. A modest house painted a pale yellow greeted you and Taehyung. The garden out front wasn’t thriving, but all wasn’t lost. Then the shutters had been painted a soft blue, complimenting the structure wonderfully. 

Maybe living here wouldn’t be so bad after all...

“Now, remember what we discussed,” you stated.

“Newlywed couples are very affectionate. We’re nice people, but cautious. Flirtatious but not disgustingly so. We are in love, first and foremost,” he repeated. 

“Wonderful,” you smiled before planting a kiss on his cheek. Taehyung nodded before getting out of the truck.

“Oh Tae, it’s amazing!” you yelped, looking at the house before you. 

“I’d certainly hope so,” he stated, coming to wrap an around around you comfortably. You leaned into his touch, looking at the house in its entirety. 

“Can we go inside?” you asked, looking at the key in his hands. 

“Of course babe,” he said, walking forwards and unlocking the door, but before you could walk in yourself, Taehyung wrapped his hand around your wrist. 

“What?” you asked, disappointed. 

“It’s bad luck for me not to carry you over the threshold,” he said, grinning. Your heart thudded for a moment. Taehyung’s boxy grin melted you, unprepared for the attack. 

“Hang on, I don’t know if I-wah!” you said as Taehyung lifted you into the air. Seeing some of the neighbors come out at the commotion you quieted down. Slowly, Taehyung carried you bridal style into the home. Your heart stuttered lightly as you crossed over the threshold. 

“Here you are,” he said, setting you down. You flushed pink and cleared your throat. 

“Alright, looks like we need to start getting the big furniture first, then we can worry about the decorations later,” you blabbed on. Taehyung watched you with muted interest, appearing to be caring however you knew there were probably fifty other things he’d rather be doing.

“Can’t we rest? I was just driving for over eight hours,” he whined, sitting on the floor in defiance. 

“You can sit all you’d like but I’m going to start bringing boxes in,” you stated, turning and heading towards the truck. 

You examined the perimeter when exiting the building. The neighbors that had come out of their house when you and Taehyung pulled up had since hurried back inside. Perhaps they were merely minding their own business or watching. This was a tight knit town. People didn’t move in nor did they move out. People stayed the same here, you’d be a large topic of conversation amongst these people. 

Taehyung walked up behind you and rested his head in the crook of your neck. “What do you see?” he asked. 

“Nothing much,” you announced, a smile on your face as if he just said something endearing. “I’m certain they are playing the waiting game. Seeing how interesting we are, how cautious they need to be. Push and pull, when they push we pull,” you stated. 

“I hate waiting games...”

“Get ready for four months of waiting.”

---

The night air blew through the home in slow waves. You watched as the street was lit with a flickering lamp roughly twenty feet away. No one had shown up at your abode, and you didn’t think they would for a while. 

This wasn’t an American sitcom where the new neighbors move in and everyone starts baking pies. This was a strategic move on the townspeople and Feng’s part. Allowing time for observations and possible encounters was a key part in the beginning stages of any sort of stake out/undercover mission. 

Feng was already suspicious. You didn’t have to know anything about his involvement in the town for that to be a solid fact. His most devout following, holed up in a small town now being invaded by outsiders? Background checks were no doubt in progress.

And they’d find exactly what you wanted. Lives painted like pictures in a story book. Rocky beginnings for Taehyung, where he grew up on the streets but was adopted into a good home and cared for until he met you in college. Love at first sight turned into marriage. And here you were, married, a home to call your own. No doubt children in the future. Perfect, but Taehyung’s dent was what made it less suspicious. A crime record thrown in for good luck. You having one parking ticket...

One you definitely refuted. 

Before the two of you had went to sleep you managed to get your mattress in your bedroom and Taehyung unpacked a box of dishes. Although the emotional day had taken its toll on the pair of you. Grabbing your sheets you made the bed and you and Taehyung collapsed down onto the mattress happily.

Although, the same nightmare kept running through your mind...

The day you made your mistake. 

The day you hurt an innocent. 

The very reason you were in this mission right now, was because you were impatient. You wanted the glory of taking down a criminal, not caring about the life that would be at risk because of your greed. That day haunted you...

You were sitting up in bed, looking over your phone to distract yourself. Cell reception wasn’t the greatest here so you’d settled for scrolling through pictures. Photos of you and friends that had been given names and assigned cell phones as well. A mother and father, a sibling for good measure. So many people strung in this elaborate web of lies. 

You fell on a photo you didn’t recognize. One of you, drinking coffee in the office. You looked flustered, stressed and not wholly interested in what you were doing. Your eyes wandered to Taehyung who was sleeping in the bed beside you. 

He seemed peaceful, which was impressive seeing as how you were struggling to catch an ounce of sleep. 

“If you keep staring I’m going to think you want something from me,” Taehyung murmured.

You flinched at his voice, but otherwise remained passive. No wonder he looked so peaceful.

“Can’t sleep either?” You asked, locking your phone and setting it on the floor. Your bed wasn’t on the frame yet and your bedside tables are still in the truck.

“I don’t sleep much no matter where I am,” he sighed, sitting up and rubbing his face. 

“It’s quiet here,” you announced, eyes casting over the moving truck in the front yard and for sale sign gone from the lawn. Taehyung lazily rested his head on your shoulder. You did your best to subtle the flinch from the unexpected contact. You had to get used to Taehyung’s displays of affection. People could be watching you at any moment.

“These people here are creepy, almost like they aren’t real,” he whispered. 

“We technically aren’t real either. Fake lives made for us like a script for a play,” you concluded. 

“But we’re using our real names, isn’t that a big taboo for this sort of work?” he asked. 

“Perhaps, but, you respond naturally to your own name. Even a variation of it, if I were to call you Kihyun or something, your response would look forced. Unnatural. But calling you Taehyung,” you said, looking at him. 

Subtly he tilted his head towards you, waiting for you to continue. He acknowledged his name without registering it in his brain. Something very common that a lot of people don’t notice. But, it’s easy to observe if you know what you’re looking for.

“Interesting notion,” Taehyung mused. 

“Pseudo-Science. Barely science,” you joked. Taehyung breathed a laugh before pulling you back down into bed with him. You squealed unattractively while struggling against his embrace. Taehyung hissed in disapproval.

“You know, I’ve never seen a new bride so unwilling to let her husband hold her,” he reprimanded.

“Perhaps if you played the role of a husband better, I wouldn’t be so unwilling,” you scoffed. Taehyung just rolled his eyes and kept you in his arms. 

“Just shut up and go to bed, before you give me a fucking headache,” he complained. 

“Good night Taehyung.”

---

The next morning you woke to the smell of coffee brewing. You got up and found the mattress empty beside you. Taehyung was already awake and the smell of food also alluded to his state of alert. You grabbed your robe from atop the boxed besides your mattress and pulled it on, heading towards the kitchen.

Taehyung stood next to the stove with two mismatching mugs and silverware that definitely didn’t belong together. 

“Don’t you dare bring out my mother’s nice ceramics for this,” you warned, smiling and wrapping your arms around him. Taehyung bumped your hip with his while handing you a mug. 

“I put creamer in it, I hope that’s alright,” he smiled. You nodded and took a sip, already warming up from the chill of the morning. 

“It’s awesome, thank you,” you sighed. “Fuck it’s going to suck getting the rest of our shit in here,” you whined. Taehyung’s eyes bulged at your vulgar tone. 

“Perhaps we could hold off on that for a while and eat breakfast?” he asked, holding a plate up for you. Quickly, you took it and hurried towards the island to eat. Taehyung laughed as you jumped up on the counter and used the built in appliance as your couch. 

“This is so good,” you moaned, licking your lips. The thick coating of grease from the bacon made your lips shiny and Taehyung found himself staring, despite not wanting to. You wiggled a little, bobbing your head back and forth while you ate. 

“You’re, like, dancing on our island,” Taehyung said, rubbing his face in disbelief. 

“Food is good, sometimes you just gotta dance with the good things in life. Like this bacon, deserves a quality head shimmy,” you noted. 

“I’m glad I could provide you with head shimmy worthy bacon this morning,” Taehyung stated.

“My head shimmies are only for the most elite pieces of bacon, so consider yourself lucky,” you snarked. He laughed and began to eat his food as well. 

It was silent, save for the clinking of your utensils on mismatched plates. 

You were thinking to yourself about your performance. Had anyone seen you so far, they would assume you were a happy couple. However, you weren’t that touchy feely. Newlyweds normally couldn’t keep their hands off each other. If you didn’t increase intimacy, then no doubt your facade would start to crack. 

“We should probably have sex today,” you noted, hopping off the counter. 

The sound of Taehyung choking filled the room. 

“Babe?” you asked, hurrying over and rubbing his back. Taehyung’s face was red and he was obviously startled by your statement. 

“Jesus, fuck! Are you trying to kill me?” he asked, while you got him a cup of water. 

Well, a bowl of water is what you managed. He gulped down the liquid as his breathing evened. 

“Taehyung, we’re a couple. That just got married. We live alone. What else do you think we would be doing?” you asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“Well, probably setting the house up? Starting to investigate a litte-”

“Taehyung, there are no doubt people watching this house. If we don’t act like we love each other, then we’re already doomed. We aren’t going to have real sex, just throw a blanket over us and then dry hump me or something,” you said, trying to think of ideas. 

“Really? Dry hump you? Under a blanket?” he said. 

Taehyung didn’t find the idea of dry humping you repulsive, it was just less fun than actually getting to fuck you. Because, oh boy, hate fucking you would be incredible. Although, it wouldn’t be the passionate love making that you were probably trying to convey. 

“Okay, but I can’t promise that I won’t get a boner in the middle of it,” he sighed. 

“Taehyung I will bite your ear off,” you warned.

“So kinky already, darling,” he breathed. 

“Okay, you stink, go take a shower,” you demanded, pulling away. Taehyung huffed and pouted, following you closely.

“Baby~” he whined, wrapping his arms around your waist. 

“Taehyung,” you smiled, however your voice was severely irritated. 

“Let’s have fake sex, then I can go take a shower, yeah?” he urged, pulling you against his body. 

To an on looker, it was no doubt a boyfriend or husband trying to coerce his wife into getting frisky. But you did want to get more of the truck unpacked. 

“Not now, shower then come help me unpack some more,” you stated, placing a hesitant peck on his lips. 

Taehyung frowned before pulling you in for a deeper kiss. You fumbled lightly on your feet, getting pulled closer into him. Taehyung wrapped your body up in his arms and moved his mouth against yours aggressively. He sucked on the delicate skin of your lips, so hard you were certain they’d bruise. 

“Ouch, Tae,” you winced. 

“Mmm, you actually kiss pretty good,” he murmured, moving back in to seal his lips against yours. 

“Loving, tender kisses Taehyung. Not trying to fucking eat my face.”

Taehyung moved away and tried to act playful when he smacked your butt before heading to the bathroom. You rolled your eyes before going to get the keys for the truck.

Again the morning was just as silent. They really must be scoping the situation out. Much like you and Taehyung were. There were a lot of variables right now. Many ways for the whole plan to go wrong. It made you uneasy. But this was your specialty.

Making a new life here was going to be difficult. However, right now wasn’t the time to be doubting your skills. There was too much at stake. You weren’t going to be the reason more people died and another criminal got away.

You started pulling in more boxes, managing to get the frame of the couch out of the truck and into the living room as well. You were sweating and your poor arm stung with a fresh scrape from the day before. You looked at the couch and decided that right there would be good enough for now. Running out to the truck you grabbed the couch cushions and throw pillows so you could sit down for a minute and relax.

After placing the last pillow down the sound of the water shutting off made you turn your head. Taehyung emerged shortly after with his boxers on and drying his hair with a towel. Rendered speechless for a moment, you cleared your throat before turning back to the box that was being used as an impromptu coffee table. Lots of picture frames sat inside.

Many of you and Taehyung and some of you with your family. Taking out your wedding photo you smiled. You knew that Taehyung was pissed in the photo cause you had just stepped on his toe in your heels.

Warm arms wrapped around your waist and you relaxed into his embrace. “Bathroom isn’t bugged, so at least we have that privacy,” he murmured into your neck. 

You nodded and set the picture down. Bending forward you grabbed a couple other frames and moved to place them in different areas.

“Didn’t you say we should bring in the rest of the big furniture before putting the fragile stuff up? We don’t want it to get broken baby,” Taehyung scolded.

“It’ll be alright. Plus I want to look at these now,” You pouted. Taehyung took a couple and started helping you put them up as well. 

You two started decorating and joking around. From the outside it was a happy couple having fun. However it was a strategic move. Making the two of you look non threatening was the most important role right now. Taehyung was set to start his job at City Hall in four days. You were to start working at home as soon as you could. 

But there was much more preparations to make. Like lunch.

“Baby, want some lunch?” You asked, turning to him. Taehyung shrugged and brought his hands to your stomach.

“Mm, not hungry for food babe,” he spoke as he brought you into his embrace. You wanted to cringe but forced your body to relax in his arms. 

“Honestly, you can’t keep your mind from what I said earlier,” you whispered.

“Hey, if we want to make it believable you should just let me fuck you here in the living room,” he growled.

You felt a shiver run down your spine, despite your best efforts. His voice rattled your bones and made you want to break. Newlyweds normally couldn’t wait to set up a bed nicely...

You could fake it here in the kitchen. 

Out of the corner of your eyes, you saw a reflection of light. It was either a camera or binoculars. Someone was watching you both right now.

Bringing your mouth to his ear, you stated instructions. “Taehyung, there’s someone watching us right now. Reflection at 11:00 o’clock,” you informed.

“I noticed,” he said, furrowing his brow to make it appear as if you said something intimate.

“We need to do it out here,” you stated.

“This seems like a lot of work,” he moaned.

“Kiss me and I’ll continue,” you murmured. Taehyung brought your mouth away from his ear and connected it to yours. You moved against his body eagerly, rolling your hips against his. Taehyung groaned and buckled against your body, biting your lip as you whined into his mouth.

“How do we do this?” He asked as he came away for air, moving to kiss your neck and shoulder longingly.

“The couch, I’ll ride you. Your back will be to the observer. So, we’ll mime the action of you and I having sex. But really we’ll just be dry humping,” you explained.

“Okay, I’m going to pick you up and take you there,” he announced. 

You blushed. You realized you’d much rather Taehyung grind against you on a couch for an audience than carry you to the couch. You were a special agent, specialized in camouflage and undercover operations... yet you still fussed when your jeans didn’t fit the same. You still got mad at yourself for eating the whole tub of ice cream... again...

“Taehyung wait a sec-ah!”

You were hoisted in the air and Taehyung carried you to the couch. You clung to him like a child and you couldn’t help the unattractive squeak you made as he threw you onto the cushions.

“You’re not going to convince them you love me if you’re acting like a teenager with stupid insecurities,” he whispered. You pulled him in for a kiss to conceal the frown and no doubt rude remark that would escape if you allowed yourself the option.

His lips trailed your jawline, making you squirm underneath him. Taehyung grinned at your pathetic reactions to his actions. You gripped his shoulders, pulling him out of view of your observer... well the one you knew of.

“I’m going to take off my shirt,” you said. Taehyung nodded, holding your hips as he kissed your lips with longing. You reached for the hem of your shirt and pulled it over your head, throwing it to the floor. Taehyung made an odd noise at the back of his throat, making you raise your eyebrow in confusion.

“God, I didn’t know you were hiding those under the stupid office uniforms, holy shit,” he complained.

“Taehyung!”

“How far can I go?” He asked, coming in to kiss your neck.

“T-this is as far as I want, are you okay?” You asked, making sure his comfort was recognized too.

“Absolutely,” he breathed, coming towards your chest with open mouthed kisses. You tangled your fingers in his hair, encouraging him to move more.

“T-Taehyung,” You whimpered as he bit at your bra.

“One day I’ll get you out of this,” he growled before hauling you up and onto his lap. The straps of your bra fell down onto your biceps and Taehyung’s pupils blew up.

You leaned down and placed a delicate kiss on his nose, cheeks and finally one to his lips. He adjusted his hold on you and you nodded. Grabbing your pathetic shorts you mimed moving them out of the way, then you moved to get Taehyung situated too.

“How should I...?” He asked, raising a brow.

“Just, I’ll dry hump you. It’s fine,” you breathed. He seemed like he was going to protest when you gripped right above his pelvic line. His hip jolted, miming the reaction of you taking him out of his pants. Giving a demure smile, you slowly shuffled forward to place your center against his lap.

Taehyung breathed in sharply, biting his lip hard. “What’s wrong?” You asked, placing a hand on his cheek gently.

“I’m fighting every urge in my body right now, so just hurry up,” he growled. A small shudder ran down your spine as his words took weight in your head.

Would it be so bad for you to give in and let him fuck you here?

Yes, yes it would.

“Sorry, sorry,” you apologized lamely, moving your hips against his gently.

“Fuck,” he croaked, gripping your waist tightly.

“A-Ah, Taehyung,” you whimpered, placing your hands over his. You looked up at the ceiling, as if you were in utter bliss.

“So good baby,” Taehyung encouraged, “keep going.”

“Fuck, Taehyung,” you growled. 

This was bad, your mind was starting to cloud with the burning arousal beginning to raise in your stomach. You really were starting to want him. The way his brow furrowed, it really looked like he was filled with pleasure at the moment. 

“I might come in my boxers,” he huffed out as you ground down particularly hard against him. 

“That’s fine, a real orgasm is better than a fake one,” you rationalized out loud.

“Shit, babe, Y/N,” he moaned, bringing you in for a sloppy kiss. You open your mouth and let his hot tongue slide in to greet yours. 

Kissing Taehyung was quickly turning into a drug you didn’t want to give up. Fuck, it felt so good. His plush lips against your own, practically forcing your mouth to mould with his. Taehyung was gripping your hips, almost as if he was using your body to get himself off. It was so dirty, raunchy and hot. Hearing his soft whimpers made you wet, cheeks bright red at the idea.

You cried out for real when your clit bumped the growing bulge in his boxers.

“That’s the hottest sound I’ve heard, fuck I love you,” he growled out. You squeaked out an ‘I love you too,’ soon after. Taehyung planted slobbery kisses along your collarbones and chest as he panted harshly against your skin. 

“Cum inside me, Taehyung,” you moaned out, feeling a climax brewing in your lower stomach. 

“Ah fuck!” Taehyung sobbed out, bucking his hips wildly against your own. You just needed that little push, something to get you over the edge. 

“So close, so close,” breathed into the air. Taehyung heard your silent pleas, because soon you felt the bulge of his hot erection directly against your little nub, sending you spiraling into the precipice of bliss.

Taehyung cried out your name, holding you closer to his frame. You collapsed against him, feeling your panties sticking to you uncomfortably. Taehyung shivered, his hot breath fanning across your cooling skin.

You shakily ran your fingers through his hair, kissing his sweaty hairline with a tenderness that could only be given in post-orgasmic bliss. Shit, what have you done?

“Tae,” you said, urging him away from you. 

“Hmmm?” he whispered, groggily. 

“You and I both need to clean up,” you said, coughing in discomfort at the end. 

“Oh, shit, sorry,” he said.

Helping you up you took a glance at the window in your peripheral. They weren’t watching any longer. “We’re clear,” you said, rushing towards the bathroom to clean yourself up. 

You shut the door and slid down in, trying not to let your heart beat out of your chest wildly. The sound of the other shower turning on again signalled that you were clear to exit, going to the bathroom before heading out to get another pair of panties and shorts on. 

You were certain you wouldn’t sleep at all tonight.

---

The day finally came when Taehyung began his first day at work. You fussed over him all morning. Tying his tie for him, making him a travel mug of coffee and breakfast for him. Taehyung had to admit, it wasn’t so bad having you for a wife.

“Baby, I really gotta go or I’m going to be late, on my first day!” 

“Okay okay, just one more thing,” you smiled before leaning in a placing a delicate kiss on his cheek. “Have a great day,” you encouraged. 

“I will, don’t miss me too much,” he teased. As he unlocked the front door you were both surprised to find two men standing there.

Taehyung immediately shut the door off a little more, protecting you from their view.

“Can I help you gentleman?”

“We’re here on behalf of Mr. Feng. He wanted to welcome you to the neighborhood,” they both presented Taehyung with some kind of campaign propaganda. 

“Thank you, I’m going to be late for work. Baby, have a good day. Gentleman,” Taehyung said, taking the flyer and shutting the door. You watched as Taehyung moved down the driveway, the men in suits following behind him like a funeral procession. Your eyes followed your husband until he was out of sight, making you shift with unease. 

This would be the first time you’d be apart since the whole mission began. For some reason your chest was tight, something you hadn’t been expecting. It was ridiculous. The only reason you were feeling this way is because you weren’t really alone. There was always someone watching. You were certain that was the cause of your unease. It had to be.

Taehyung texted you a few times throughout the day. Making your chest loosen slightly, knowing he made it there safely. Even if he was a jerk, that didn’t mean you wanted anything bad to happen to him. Well, nothing too bad...

You started your day by moving some more furniture around, getting the kitchen table put together and all set for later on in the evening. You were going to make dinner tonight before Taehyung came home so he had something to eat after a long day at work.

You couldn’t place it, but knowing someone was coming home to you was... comforting? Even if it was the pain in the ass Taehyung, the thought didn’t bother you as much as you believed it should. 

The rest of your day passed by uneventfully, doing some data analysis on your laptop for work. Something Taehyung no doubt picked out for you to do because of your detestment of data worksheets back at the office. Dick. 

But the company you worked for didn’t know anything but you were a newlywed needing some extra cash on the side while her husband went out to work for the day. Plus, this gave you another set of alibis if needed. She was on her computer at such and such a time. Because no doubt it was being tracked. 

You pulled up your messages and sent a quick one to Taehyung. He responded quickly, sending a few hearts after he told you he’d be home soon. 

Quickly you headed to the kitchen and began the real test. Cooking. You weren’t a bad cook by any means, but you usually cooked ramen noodles and things of that nature. So a full fucking chicken was a little intimidating.

Cutting the vegetables and starting the oven went smoothly. You buttered the chicken, slathering the meat in butter and garlic, throwing some thyme in there for good measure. You remember Taehyung mentioning that his mom used to make a recipe similar to this. One he loved. 

The idea of a small Taehyung sitting at the counter, begging for some food made your head spin. W-What are you thinking? This is just a mission, and Taehyung is just a guy who is assigned to be your partner. That’s all this is. All it ever will be. 

Taehyung came home just as you were pulling the chicken out of the oven. He came over and pressed a sweet kiss to your cheek before looking at the mashed potatoes, broiled vegetables and chicken that were being placed on the table by his wife. You bent over after dropping something on the floor. His mouth watered at the sight. The food also looked good...

“Baby, look at all this. Did you really make this stuff?” he asked, coming over and setting his briefcase on the counter.

“Yeah, it was a bitch and a half to make though, let me tell you what. This chicken here, if it weren’t already dead I would’ve taken my pistol and shot it,” you huffed, remembering the tying and stuffing and everything that made you aggravated with cooking the damn thing in the first place.

“Well, it looks great, can I have a seat?” he asked.

“Yeah! Go for it, I’ll get us some wine,” you said. Running over to the cabinet and pulling out two wine glasses.

“I see we’re going fancy tonight,” he said. 

“Well for my husband, anything,” you smiled.

“Thank you baby,” he answered as you set a wine glass next to him.

“Next, do you want red or white?” you asked.

“Red,” Taehyung said, marveling at the domestic nature of this interaction.

Is this what normal people did? Came home to a freshly cooked meal by their significant other and just talked about casual things? Not coming home to an empty house. Stitching themselves up after a bad knife fight. Watching as their blood went down the drain... Was this the marital bliss he heard about?

You came over with a bottle, popping the cork and pouring him a sample to see if he liked it. “How does it taste? Want a little more?” you asked. Taehyung took you in during this moment. You were beautiful. Cheeks flushed and looking flustered as you tried to play your role of dutiful wife. It made him want to paint again...

“Yeah, I’ll have a glass. It’s good, you should have some too,” he said as he watched the berry colored liquid fill the glass.

“I will,” you announced, sitting across from him and pouring yourself some as well.

Taehyung looked at you as you swallowed down some of the bitter sweet liquid in your glass, throat bobbing as it pushed the alcohol down and into your bloodstream. Cheeks turning pink he smiled as the two of you continued to drink. 

“Y/N, honestly, this meal was fantastic,” Taehyung said, looking at you as the second bottle of wine overwhelmed him.

“Thanks, I tried,” you stated, swallowing down the remaining wine in your glass.

Taehyung leaned forward on the table, looking at you with interest.

“What did you want to do before becoming part of the agency?” He asked, nonchalant.

You looked up at him, eyes bigger than your head. 

“Tae! What if-“

“No one is listening, believe me,” he said, grinning at you with his boxy grin.

“I don’t think-“

“Don’t be such a priss, tell me,” he urged.

“I’m not a priss!”

“Whatever, just, tell me something about yourself. Something interesting,” he pleaded.

“Fine, fine... I-I wanted to be a ballerina okay?” 

Taehyung’s eyes widened.

Then he snorted.

“Aren’t ballerina’s supposed to be graceful and shit? You tripped putting on your pants this morning,” he smirked.

“I’ll have you know that for seven years I danced five days a week for four hours a day,” you protested.

“Prove it,” he scoffed.

“Fine, I will,” you said, standing up. 

Slowly bringing yourself together you started a familiar routine you did all the time as a child.

Lifting your leg up you grabbed your thigh, straightening your leg above your head before lowering it to your other thigh, spinning slightly before getting up on pointe. Taehyung’s eyes were watching your every move. It looked like you needed a partner. He stood and grabbed your waist as you stretched your arms out. 

Jumping in his grasp you turned to look at him.

“Taehyung, what are you-“

“Just feel, keep going,” he said, taking your hand in his.

You weren’t sure if it was the wine or your own emotions taking over, but before you knew it, your lips had crashed onto his. Taehyung grunted in surprise. You wrapped your arms around his neck and urged him to kiss you deeper. Licking at his lips, begging for entrance. Taehyung didn’t hesitate. He opened his mouth and greeted your tongue with his. The wet smacking sounds had you throbbing beneath your jeans, something you were desperate to get out of. 

Grinding against his front Taehyung lost his breath to you. “Fuck, mm, like that babygirl.”

You whimpered when you felt his prominent bulge for the first time this evening. Shit your panties were sticking to you at this point. But Taehyung pulled away a few moments later. 

“We shouldn’t do this,” he murmured against your swelling lips.

“Why not?” You whined, gripping his hands as they settled against your hips.

“We can’t go back once we do this. Having interpersonal relations in the field, it gets messy. What if I get hurt or kidnapped? Then they have leverage on you,” he explained.

“Let me at least suck you off,” you complained. Taehyung groaned in the back of his throat. 

“Fuck, we shouldn’t,” he stated, brushing the hair away from your face.

“Please, please let me taste you,” you begged, your wine addled mind taking over. “Do you not want my mouth?”

“Fuck... Yes, I do want that mouth on me more than you can believe,” he said, running his thumb along your wet lower lip. Taking his thumb in between your lips you smiled and tugged on the flesh gently. Taehyung growled at your teasing before looking at you with his dark eyes. “Get on your knees for me,” he commanded. You nodded frantically before falling to the floor in front of him. Taehyung watched with rapt attention as you undid his slacks and brought out his semi-hard erection from his underwear. 

Your mouth salivated at the sight of his thick cock sitting in your warm palm. Taehyung hissed when you ran your hand over his sensitive length for the first time. Your heart was pounding in your chest. Blood rushing to your head, making it spin. But all you cared about was pleasing the man in front of you. Without much hesitation you gave a fat lick from the base of his cock to the head. Taehyung moaned, his head lulling back slightly. You brought the head into your mouth, suckling gently, moving your tongue around the sensitive area.

“Don’t tease me,” he snarled out, looking down at you with dangerous eyes. Complying with his demands you brought a majority of him into your mouth and throat, coughing lightly when he hit the back. He groaned in pleasure, finding your hair and pulling it into his fist. “That’s it baby, suck my dick like a good girl,” he praised, watching as strings of slobber started to form from your mouth to his cock. Bobbing your head back and forth, you built a rhythm for him. 

You hollowed out your cheeks, moving your tongue underneath his shaft and around to stimulate him. Taehyung huffed, trying hard not to come down your throat already. He was intoxicated not only by the wine but by you as well. Your beautiful eyes looking at him underneath your lashes. He could barely breathe when you looked at him like that. Those big eyes sparkling with lust and want.

Taehyung rolled his hips forward slightly, gauging your reaction. You moaned at the force promised behind those hips of his, as he pushed himself further down your throat. 

“Can I fuck your mouth baby? Would you let me fuck that goregous mouth of yours?” he asked, sprinkling praise in with his request. You nodded fast, relaxing your throat and giving him the thumbs up to go ahead. 

He didn’t wait a moment longer before he pushed himself into your mouth and down your throat. Taehyung whined at the tight feeling of your mouth and throat closing in on him, feeling like a vice against his cock. Pulling back out he let you suck in a couple breaths before picking his pace up again. You gagged on his dick, making noise and moaning in pleasure. Taehyung was lost above you, focusing on the sensations of your moaning against him.

“Mmm, fuck baby, just like that,” he breathed out, watching and drool collected on your chin. It was filthy, messy and perfect. You took him entirely, nose touching his pelvis and you swallowed hard. Taehyung cried out, gripping your shoulders and pulling out of your throat and mouth. You coughed at the actions, not suspecting for it to be so intense, but god if you didn’t want him to cum in your mouth. You needed it.

“Tae~” you whimpered, shuffling forwards on your knees to try to put him back in your mouth. But he stopped you.

“Listen baby, this is going to go one of two ways. Either you keep going and I cum down your throat, or I can shove this cock in that pussy and cum inside you that way. Which would you prefer?”

Your body shook with want at the second option.

“Inside my pussy,” you said, already moving to shrug your sweater off and stepping out of your jeans. 

“Come here then baby,” he said, opening his arms for you. You rushed forwards, bringing your lips to his before you could even think about anything else. Taehyung opens his mouth and licked your lips perversely. You opened your mouth at once, letting him take full control of the embrace. 

“Taehyung, bedroom,” you urged. He at least heard part of what you were saying, because the next thing you knew, your body was being lowered to the mattress in your room.

“Let’s take this off shall we?” he said, removing your tank top and looking at you in your bra. “Fuck baby you have pretty tits,” he growled. You moaned at the praise and eagerly un buckled the back and let the offending material fall off your arms and onto the floor. Taehyung was in action before you could blink, taking a nipple in his mouth and sucking on it harshly. 

The sensation sent tingles right to the tips of your toes, making them curl and stretch from his warm mouth on you. With his free hands he held your hip with one and groped your chest with the other, stimulating your body and causing you to arch up into his touch. Taehyung smirked against your skin, laving his tongue against your pert nipple, making you hiss in reaction.

“Such pretty noises you make for me, isn’t that right precious girl?” he said, trailing his lips down your body.

“Taehyung, please don’t tease me. Give me your dick, please,” you whimpered, rolling your hips up against him.

“Tsk tsk, little one. So greedy already,” he smiled.

“Please give me your cock, Taehyung, please,” you begged. “Want it so deep in my pussy, stuffing me full until I can’t breathe. Please please please, give me your cock.”

“Fuck, how could I deny such a sweet request. Alright baby, let me just warm you up a touch okay?” Taehyung pulled your panties down your legs, revealing your wet center to him. “You’re drenched babygirl, who did this to you?”

“You, Taehyung, you did,”

“That’s right precious girl,” he said as he lowered two fingers to your entrance. You relaxed when he ran his middle and pointer finger up your slit, before sinking them inside of you. Taehyung watched as you took him right up to the knuckle. He groaned at the feeling of you, tight and hot around his fingers. He could just picture how you’d feel around his cock and it made him throb with desire.

“Taehyung!” You cried, gripping the sheets underneath you desperately.

“Gonna come?”

“I-I don’t-hah-Taehyung,” you whined out.

“I’ve barely touched this sweet little pussy and I can already feel you clenching like crazy, do you want to come baby? I’d love to see what you look like when you come, I bet you look beautiful,” he said, picking up his speed.

“Taehyung, hngh, please,” you begged, looking at the ceiling with tears forming in your eyes.

“Come for me, come all over this bed darling,” he cooed, using his thumb to stimulate your clit before watching your body tense and finally-finally-release.

“Taehyung!” You cried out, back arching off the bed, shuddering in your orgasm as your mind went blank from everything except the feeling of unadulterated pleasure.

Taehyung smiled at your fucked out face, eyes misty with tears. 

“What a good girl, you came all over me shit, that was so sexy,” he growled. You whimpered and reached for him, wanting his hands on your body.

“Give me your cock now? Please Taehyung?”

“Whatever you want darling, absolutely,” he agreed, lining his cock up with your sopping entrance.

“Fuck!” You cried out when his cock finally entered you. It was so thick, filling you up so well. Taehyung gripped your hips. Letting you ease onto him so he didn’t hurt you. 

“That’s it, what a snug little cunt you have,” he grinned, pressing kisses to your shoulders while he pumped himself inside of you deeply. Taehyung has a hard time thinking clearly like this. The wine and you making him drunk. 

“Taehyung!” You cried out. “So big.” You felt his cock rubbing that spot inside you that made you see stars. Everything was blurry as Taehyung fucked his dick into you harshly. The lewd smacking sounds of skin on skin made your mind whirl with lust. Taehyung wasn’t in a much better state. Watching as he fucked you, tits bouncing and your ass hitting his pelvis in just the right way. 

But he wanted to see your face when you came.

“Lie on your side for me,” Taehyung said, easing out of you gently.

You hissed at the loss, but did as he asked, laying on your side. 

“Leg up,” he encouraged, nestling down beside you. You raised your leg as he instructed, moaning loudly when his cock re-entered you from this angle. 

“How is it? How is getting fucked by my big dick baby? Can you handle it?” He asked, laying his hand flat against your lower stomach.

“I can take it, I’m-I’m a big girl,” you huffed, head lolling back into Taehyung’s neck.

“I know you can take it, does my baby want it harder?” He questioned, giving a few deep thrusts against you, making your pussy clench down hard.

“Anything, I want anything you’ll give me Taehyung,” you pleaded. 

“Anything you say, well then, hold on,” he stated, running his hand between your legs and toying with your throbbing clit. He nestled his head against your cheek, kissing and nipping at your tender flesh.

“Ta-ae-hyung,” you whimpered out. “Feels so good.”

“You too, so fucking tight around my cock. Can barely move... I should’ve fucked you with three fingers to get you ready for this dick huh? Or do you like a little pain with your pleasure, huh?”

Crying out when he pushed against your little nub forcing you back on his dick. Taehyung smiled as you ground your ass against him, trying to get whatever you could from him like this. He didn’t care about tomorrow, all he cared about was you right now. A beautiful woman losing yourself on his dick.

“Taehyung, so close, right there. Yes!” You whined, gripping his hand for some kind of stability.

He interlocked your fingers, using his other hand to continue abusing your clit. “Right here baby, like this?” He questioned.

“Yes! Yes yes,” you said, tears forming in the corners of your eyes for the second time that night.

Taehyung breath came in soft pants against your neck as he worked himself up as well. Your velvet walls were doing him in. Normally he’d last much longer, but with you he couldn’t help but see bliss right around the corner.

“Baby gonna cum,” he warned you.

“In me, cum inside me,” you blabbered out, gripping his hand tightly.

“Fuck-shit!” Taehyung cursed, letting instinct take over as he fucked into you aggressively. It was hard to think straight. 

Not too soon after a shot of warmth encompassed your stomach. That sent you over, eyes blacking out as you slumped against Taehyung who was still cumming.

Giving a few more weak thrusts, Taehyung pulled out, looking at the mess the two of you had made. 

“Fuck you look pretty full of my cum like that,” he commented, kissing your shoulder softly.

“Mmm, Taehyung?”

“Yes baby,” he said, moving his head up to peer down at you.

“Washcloth, I-I don’t think I can walk right now,” you said, turning pink at the notion.

“I’ll be right back, hang on,” he said, standing up and heading to the bathroom.

As the light flicked on, you felt your eyes fall, heavy with the need for sleep.

---

“What the fuck are we going to do?” You yelled at Taehyung.

The pair of you woke up the next morning, dazed and confused. Taehyung was the first one to notice you two were royally fucked.

“I came in you, shit,” he said, looking at the obvious stain on the bed.

“Taehyung!” You cried out, smacking your forehead with your palm.

“Hey don’t get mad at me! You’re the one who initiated all of this!”

“Don’t pin this all on me, you could’ve rejected me!” You said.

“I tried! But you looked at me and then I-uh... Well... Here we are,” he announced.

“Taehyung, if we fuck up this mission I’m a dead woman. That includes me getting pregnant!”

“Can’t I just go buy you some plan b or something like that?”

“We’re married, if they caught you buying plan b then our facade is over!”

“Then I don’t know what you want me to do! I can’t undo what we did!”

You rubbed your temples, trying not to stress over the fact that you could possibly be carrying Kim Taehyung’s child.

“We have to go with this, just, remember our mission. Now hug me, cause we argued,” you said, opening your arms.

Taehyung moved forward, wrapping you up in his embrace.

“Whatever happens, we’re allies. I’ll cover your back if you cover mine,” he said, fingers splayed across your back.

“I got your six.”

---

The following weeks were surprisingly calm. Taehyung went to work and came home. You usually had a meal ready for the two of you. It was domestic ‘bliss’. 

Except for the fact that you and Taehyung wouldn’t barely look at each other. It was hard, feeling the anxiety and panic and not having anyone to bounce it off of. Taehyung was affectionate when you said to be, and the two of you acted your part when you were out in public but... things were different now. And there’s nothing either of you could do about it.

Taehyung came home a little later than usual, you sipping on some wine and staring off into space. He walked over and set his bag down, before kissing your head and pulling you in for a hug. 

“I have some good news,” Taehyung said. 

“Yeah? What is it?” you asked, not looking at him.

“I’m in the running to become mayor!”

Glass shattered on the floor.

“Oh shit,” Taehyung said, stepping back so as not to step on any glass.

You were frozen in place.

“Taehyung do you know what that means for these people? To Feng?”

“What? Like you honestly think I’ll win? You’re crazy,” he scoffed.

“Taehyung what if you do win? What’ll they do when this mission is over? What will they do when they find out their mayor-” he quickly moved in for a kiss. You wiggled against him for a moment before going still. Taehyung worked his mouth over yours with ease, something you weren’t expecting, but weren’t upset over either.

“God you are so annoying sometimes. Listen,” he said, moving so he could start cleaning up the glass you dropped. “If I get an inside position, show Feng that I’m serious about wanting to be loyal to him? Then I’ll get inside information that’ll be influential in his takedown,” he explained.

“Taehyung if you think they’ll give it to an outsider than you’re dumber than I thought,” you sneered.

“You don’t see them the way I do. Don’t interact with them the way I do. I’ve gained their trust, Y/N, something you haven’t done,” he said matter-of-factly.

“I’m a housewife, what do you expect me to do?” you said, placing your hands on your hips.

“The guys and I are going out to dinner tomorrow night. Be my date, and play nice with their wives. See if you can get any information out of them,” he offered.

“Okay, I can play the doting wife role,” you said to him, standing up.

“Hey watch out!”

“Ouch!” You hissed in pain as a shard of glass cut deep into your heel.

“Y/N, watch where you walk I wasn’t done cleaning yet,” he said, rubbing his face.

Then, his face went pale as he saw the crimson liquid coming from your body.

“Ow, fuck,” you whimpered, using the counter to balance as you looked at your foot in pain. Taehyung quickly swept up the rest before he was kneeling down to take a look at you.

“It’s pretty deep, I think you need stitches,” he said, examining your bloodied heel.

“I-I’m fine,” you whispered, trying to keep the dizzy spell from taking over.

“No, you’re not. You need to go to the doctor. Come on, the clinic is like not even a fifteen minute drive. Get your ass in the car,” he demanded.

“No, I’ll wrap it in gauze and it’ll be fine,” you declared.

“Y/N,” Taehyung warned.

“Taehyung,” you mocked.

“I’m not fucking around,” he said, standing up.

“Neither am I,” you countered.

“Fine, be that way you little shit,” he said before bending down and picking you up bridal style in his arms.

“Taehyung! Put me down!”

“Not on your life,” he said as he grabbed his keys and walked towards the door.

He got you in the car, a towel wrapped around your foot before he took off down the road.

The pair of you were silent as he drove, just going through the night without anything being said. Taehyung looked at your foot and picked up the speed a little bit. You looked out the window, not wanting to look down and see the bloody mess that was your foot. It ached so much, making you want to whine in pain. But you ignored it, keeping a poker face the whole time.

Taehyung pulled into the parking lot, undoing his seatbelt and coming over to your side. Before he could pick you up again, you held your hand out to stop him. “I can walk,” you argued.

“Don’t get stubborn now, just let me take care of you,” he said, sounding moderately annoyed with you. But you couldn’t help the fluttering that took over in your chest. Taehyung leaned down and brought you into his arms, fussing with you for just a moment before he started to walk inside.

“Hi, how can I-Oh goodness!” The nurse who was sitting at the front desk jolted as Taehyung brought you to the counter.

“Can my wife please get some help? She stepped on some glass at home and now I’m worried that she needs stitches,” he said, calm and collected.

“A-Absolutely, let me just page the doctor and Martha get them a wheelchair for her!” 

Soon Taehyung was settling you into the wheelchair, wrapping his blazer around your shoulders to keep the chill of the night out. The pair of you waited for less than five minutes before the doctor came out and greeted you both.

“Good evening you two! Taehyung! It’s great to see you,” the doctor said, giving Taehyung a firm handshake.

“I wish we could meet under better circumstances,” Taehyung said softly.

“Now, let’s get you back to an examination room and take a look at that foot,” he said, beckoning Taehyung to follow him. You felt him push you forward carefully, not getting too close to the walls or anything of that nature.

When the pair of you were in the examination room the doctor started the questions.

“Name?”

“Kim Y/N.”

“Age?”

“21.”

“Marital Status.”

“Married.”

“Are you pregnant?” he asked. You bit your lip for a second before answering.

“I-I’m not sure,” you said, worrying your lip with your teeth. You chanced a look at Taehyung in the corner, but he seemed as calm as he was driving here.

“We’ll get a blood draw done then, just to double check. But there are certain antibiotics we don’t use if you’re pregnant so we’ll steer clear of those ones okay?”

“Okay,” you whispered.

“Now, take me through what happened,” he said.

“I dropped my wine glass and stepped on the glass on the floor,” you said, wincing at how stupid it made you seem.

“Well certainly did a number, so I’ll get that glass out and flush the wound. And I’ll need to get a few stitches in there. Next we’ll do your blood draw then a shot of antibiotics and steroids and you should be all set my dear!” he said, smiling.

“Thank you,” you said, gripping Taehyung’s jacket tightly.

“I’ll be right back, just sit tight,” he said, leaving the room.

“You seem nervous,” Taehyung said, sighing.

“Of course I’m nervous, who isn’t when someone is about to stab you in the foot repeatedly?”

“Please, the needle is so thin you won’t feel a thing,” Taehyung scoffed.

“Shut up, it still hurts,” you whimpered out.

“I’m right here,” he said, reaching over and taking your hand in his. You stared down at your joined hands, not so sure what to think.

Then the doctor came back, a tray of utensils in his hands.

“Alright, the nurse will come back with your shots. But we’re gonna do the stitches first,” he explained putting some gloves over his hand.

You tensed as he approached, Taehyung adjusted himself so that he was directly behind you. His head brushed your shoulder as you stared down at the doctor. 

“Baby, look at me,” Taehyung’s low voice echoed in your ear. On instinct you turned to face him. Taehyung rested his forehead against yours, rubbing soothing circles into your wrist. “Just focus on me baby, no one else is here, just us two.”

“Tae,” you whimpered, gripping his hand. 

“It’s alright, shh, it’ll be alright I’m here,” he said, kissing your forehead and bringing your head into his neck so you wouldn’t look.

“On the count of three I’m going to pull the shard out, I want you to take a deep breath on three for me okay?”

You whispered an answer, too focused on how good Taehyung smelt and how warm his body was against yours.

“One, two, three,” the doctor said, calm as could be.

You yelped in pain, Taehyung right there to soothe your cries.

“Look at that, you did so well baby. It’s alright, he just needs to clean you up,” he said softly.

A burning cold and numbing took over your heel as Taehyung continued to keep your focus on him and him alone. Whispering sweet nothings into your ears and placing gentle kisses to your head and face. The doctor continued his work diligently and before you knew it, the gauze was in place and you were almost ready to go. 

The doctor performed a quick blood draw and Taehyung stayed with you through the whole thing. Holding your hand and rubbing your knuckles as he drew even more blood from your body that evening. Once he had what he needed the doctor bid the two of you farewell, saying to drop by the pharmacy for your medications.

“Thank you hyung, it means a lot that you helped her out,” Taehyung said, standing to give the gentleman a fond farewell.

“Anything for you Taehyung, after getting that grant for the clinic, I’ll help you in any way I can! Now, Mrs. Kim please be careful to not walk on your foot for at least two weeks. Taehyung you should take a few days off until she’s settled into a routine. Nice to meet you Mrs. Kim, Taehyung landed a keeper,” he said before exiting the room.

“A grant for the clinic huh?” you said, raising your brows at him.

“Yeah, part of my job is delegating where the money goes,” he said, shrugging off your many questions.

“Fancy pants over here,” you said, scoffing.

“Yeah yeah whatever,” he replied, never letting his fingers leave yours.

A few seconds later a nurse came in with a tray of shots lined up.

“Hi sweetheart, we’re just going to give you an antibiotic, painkiller and a steroid, does that all sound okay to you?” she asked in a kind voice.

“Yes, that’s fine,” you agreed.

“Okay I just need you to drop your pants for me. Are you her husband?” she asked, looking at Taehyung.

“Yes,” he said.

“Would you help her get up on the table and then step outside please,” she requested,

Taehyung nodded, getting you up and out of the wheelchair and up on the table without much fuss. It was when he turned to leave you panicked a little.

“Tae, you’ll be right outside right?” you asked, biting your lip.

“Yes baby, I’ll be right outside the door, just a few pokes and we’ll head home,” he said, kissing your hand before stepping out of the room.

“That’s quite the man you have there, Doctor Namjoon said he was very sweet while putting in your stitches,” she said, wiping your butt with alcohol swabs. 

“He’s a keeper,” you smiled.

A couple pokes later you were out the door, Taehyung behind you.

“Now the painkiller we gave her is pretty strong, it’ll make her a little loopy, so just keep your eyes on her,” the nurse said.

“Got it, thank you so much for your help,” he said, before wheeling you out into the parking lot. 

Your head was spinning lightly from the painkiller, making you giggly. Taehyung picked you up and set you in the car buckling you in for good measure.

“Taehyung~” you laughed.

“Yes?” he asked, looking at you in confusion.

You burst into laughter at the sight of his face. Taehyung simply sighed before putting the car in gear and taking off. 

The ride was mainly your laughter and Taehyung trying not to smash his face into the wheel. But when you got home Taehyung carefully pulled you from the vehicle, careful not to bump your foot or head when extracting you.

You wrapped your arms around his neck easily, cupping the nape of his neck with your palm. He didn’t falter as he carried you into your home, shutting the door with his foot. He kept you in his arms, carrying you all the way to bed, setting you down gently. But before he could remove your arms from his neck, you brought him in for a gentle kiss.

It was different than all the others you’d shared.

It wasn’t passionate or steamy, no lingering touches or wanton desires fueling your actions. You wanted to express your gratitude for him. Just saying thank you because you couldn’t put your thanks into words. He’d changed so much since you first met him. Even though he was still closed off and could be a massive dick sometimes, you were still excited to see him when he came home. Loved hearing the genuine compliments about your food. It was all Taehyung. And you wanted to know more. Any little detail he’d slip you’d take it. Because you really weren’t sure if you wanted this mission to end as much as you did before...

Pulling away, Taehyung breathed against your lips softly.

“What was that for?”

“Just... Thank you, for what you did tonight and-and thanks for coming home to me every night and putting up with me and I really want you to know that-”

“Sure, what else would allies do? If I was cold and cut off to you in that hospital it would blow our cover, I did what I had to do. Namjoon is pretty good at detecting bullshit so sorry if I laid it on a little thick. But he bought our act, so good job to you too,” he said, scratching his neck.

It was like a glass of cold water was dropped onto you. 

Allies...

That’s right. That’s all you were to each other. You weren’t actually husband and wife. The marriage was a sham and you would get it annulled the second the mission was over. At least that’s what you wanted before...

“But I’m going to take a shower, so rest up, I’ll call work in the morning and let them know what happened. Night,” he said, standing up quickly before closing the door behind him.

Tears stung in the corner of your eyes, but you forced them back. You wouldn’t cry over him, not like this. Not now...

But before you knew it, tears were racing down your face as you cried yourself to sleep. Dreaming of a marriage to a man who’d never think of you like that.

---

You were sick again this morning.

Taehyung felt the bed shift as you got up and hobbled your way to the bathroom to puke up whatever dinner you’d made last night. This had happened for the fourth day in a row. You getting up, getting sick then coming back to bed as if it never happened. You hadn’t said a thing to him about it, but he knew. And he couldn’t help the way his stomach clenched when he thought you could be pregnant.

This morning was the last straw. 

He sat up and waited for you to walk in and when you did his heart lurched. You looked sleepy, and like you were parched. But most of all, you looked scared.

“Taehyung,” you said, looking down at the floor nervously.

“We need to get those results,” he said dismissively.

“No shit sherlock,” you snarked. “But ever think that I might have the flu or something?”

“Influenza is coughing, what you’re talking about is a virus.”

“Okay doctor, sue me. My results should be at the clinic. We can go there and get them,” you said.

“I’ll pick them up after work today, is that alright?” he asked, raising a brow at you.

“Yeah, whatever works I guess,” you said.

“Alright.”

It was silent.

“Taehyung?” you asked, coming towards the bed, your heel almost back to full strength after the incident a few weeks ago.

“Yeah.”

“What do we do if I’m... well if I-uh,” you stammered.

“If you’re pregnant? Well... We’ll deal with it, I guess,” he said, sighing and rubbing his forehead.

“They wouldn’t be an it, Taehyung, they’re a baby, a person,” you said, getting a little worked up.

“Listen, we’ll deal with it when the time comes, this mission is over in a month and then you can go and-well...”

“You aren’t suggesting what I think you are, are you?” you said, hurt flashing across your features.

“Y/N, think about it. We’re spies. Espionage Agents. Do you think our lifestyle is one suited to having children? Leaving them with a nanny all day and then not knowing if your parents are going to come home, them leaving you in the care of strangers while they move you all over the world? It’s the loneliest life I could imagine,” Taehyung said, eyes not meeting yours.

“Taehyung were your parents...?” you trailed off, not wanting to believe the truth.

“My parents were D3s with the IEA. They died when I was thirteen, I didn’t even know they were gone until three weeks later when the agency showed up at our door. I know that life, Y/N, I know that hurt. I don’t want anyone to feel that way. Not because we were stupid,” he breathed.

“What if I kept the baby, left the agency...” you thought aloud, trying to calm your racing thoughts.

“Y/N, think about what you’d be doing. You never really leave the agency. They always know where you are, threaten you with what you did in your past over your head. When you sign up, you’re in it for life,” he explained.

“Taehyung I couldn’t do what you’re asking, I can’t,” you said, tears falling down your cheeks.

“Listen, we don’t know for sure. Let’s wait until we know the facts before we start making scenarios up in our heads.”

“Okay...”

---

Taehyung was driving home, your test results in the passenger side.

He couldn’t open them. As much as he hated to admit it, he was scared shitless too. What was he supposed to tell you? How could he get you to see, that this wasn’t a good situation. But, nothing was set in stone until you opened that packet.

Walking up the driveway he saw you in the window, putting some finishing touches on dinner. His heart swelled with something. Something he’d never known before. He couldn’t place this feeling, but he didn’t hate it... He didn’t hate you.

As much as he tried, you wormed your way into his mind frequently. What you were cooking for dinner, how your heel was feeling, if you really were pregnant with his child or not. All of these and more were taking up space in his normally focused brain.

But when he walked in the door, he discovered a glorious sight.

You, in a dress that he hadn’t seen before. Yellow and covered with flowers at the bottom it was flowy. But what he noticed first was that it accentuated areas of you that usually were understated.

Like your stomach. A tiny little bump visible to his eyes suddenly knocked the wind out of him as he dropped his briefcase, making you jump.

“Taehyung! You scared the piss out of me,” you complained, placing your hand over your heart, feeling it beat wildly against your chest. You saw his distress and immediately came to his side. “What’s wrong? Are you feeling faint? Did you eat today? What have I told you about skipping lunch-”

“I-I’m fine,” he said, shakily holding onto the wall and pulling himself together.

“Are you sure? You look pale,” you said, cradling his face in your palms.

Moving away from you he nodded.

“Yeah... Just... Your test results are there,” he said, pointing at the coffee table he collapsed into when he saw you.

“I’ll look at them, you sit down and eat. You worried me,” you said, moving towards the coffee table slowly.

Your heart was going insane inside your chest. You weren’t sure how you’d react to either situation. But Taehyung had already sat down, waiting for you to open it.

Carefully you ripped open the envelope, pulling out the papers inside with delicate fingers. You looked through your bloodwork, noticing nothing of severe importance. But then your eyes landed on the pregnancy test results. 

Pregnant: Yes.

The little circle of red around the three letter word made you want to hurl. But at the same time, you were oddly at peace with the idea. It had taken a lot for you to come to this conclusion, but, if it was meant to be then... So be it. 

“What does it say?” Taehyung asked, looking at your calm demeanour. 

“I’m pregnant,” you say softly. Taehyung’s head snaps up, looking from the paper to your stomach where his child was for certain growing now.

“Fuck,” he said, sitting back in the chair, looking up at the ceiling.

“What do we do Taehyung?”

“We need to call Seokjin, immediately,” he said, standing up.

“You’re right,” you said, nodding slowly.

“I’ll call him now,” he said, standing up.

You wait patiently as Taehyung puts the call on speaker phone.

“Yah, do you know what time it is you little punk, why are you calling me?” he asked.

“Hyung, we’ve got an emergency,” Taehyung said, leaning closer to you.

“What is it?” he asked, mildly concerned now.

“I’m pregnant, sir,” you said, biting your lip.

“You’re... what?”

“Hyung she’s pregnant and...”

“And let me guess, you’re the father Taehyung,” Seokjin said through the phone, distress in his voice.

“Yes, hyung that’s right,” he said, pink tinging his ears.

“Get her out of there Taehyung, that’s an order,” Seokjin said, not sounding at all like he was joking.

“Sir, I can still-”

“I’ll be sending a envoy to come and collect Ms. Y/N by the end of the week. Taehyung if anyone asks you where she went, she went to stay with her sick mother for a while. That should provide you with enough cover until Feng is in town,” Seokjin instructed.

“Yes sir,” you said, head hanging low.

“And Ms. Y/N,” he said, making your ears perk up.

“Yes, sir?” you responded.

“I’ll accept this as your resignation from the company. Goodbye you two.” With that he hung up, leaving you and Taehyung bewildered.

“What?” you screamed.

“Y/N-”

“Taehyung you motherfucker!” you shrieked, taking off your shoe and chasing him around the house with it. 

“Y/N! Please hang on a second!”

“What am I going to do you son of a bitch?!”

“Hey listen, I’ll-ow!” he hissed when you chucked your shoe and it hit him square in the butt. 

“No you listen, I just lost my job because of this! What am I going to do, Taehyung? I’m alone, pregnant and scared out of my fucking mind. What. Do. I. Do??”

“You aren’t alone,” he said, rubbing his neck awkwardly.

“Taehyung when they force me to leave the agency because of this I get a limited amount of money, not nearly enough to support me and a baby,” you said, rubbing your temples.

“I-uh, I can pay child support or... something like that,” he said, coughing at the end to hide his discomfort.

“Taehyung,” you said, already stressed at the idea.

“I’m serious, I’ll send you a check every month. How much do you think you’ll need?”

“You aren’t listening to me,” you said, exacerbated.

“What do you mean?”

“Taehyung, what if I don’t want to take money from you?” you said, placing your hand on your hip.

“I’m confused,” Taehyung complained, continuing to look up at the ceiling.

“I’m so fucked,” you murmured, looking down at your stomach in concern.

Taehyung glanced over at you. Eyes brimming with tears as you cradled your stomach in fear. He felt sick to his stomach. You were both to blame for what happened. He should take responsibility, ease some of your worry. But what would he do? Could he be a good father for this child? Could the two of you work together to make this okay? Did he even want to try?

Yes, he did want to try.

Because you were his wife. Through an agency or not it was still an honest to God marriage on paper. So, you both kinda fucked up, but how you handled it would be paramount for the child.

“Let me help you,” he said, standing up.

Looking up from your tummy in shock, you weren’t sure if you believed him. “What are you talking about,” you said.

“I’ve got your six if you got mine,” he announced, as if it was the simplest thing in the world.

“Taehyung a baby isn’t easy. It’s a lifetime commitment. We’d be bound together for life,” you explained.

“Sounds good, I accept this mission,” he said, smiling.

“Taehyung!”

“Let me take care of you, and in the future if something happens, take care of me,” he reasoned.

“Tae this isn’t-I don’t know about this,” you whimpered.

“Trust me, Y/N, trust me this once,” he asked, walking over to you.

Staring into his eyes you didn’t see a hint of a joke or humor in them. He... He was serious?

“Okay Taehyung, I’ve got your six if you’ve got mine,” you sighed.

“Partners?”

“Partners.”

---

The envoy was dispatched to your location a few hours ago. A female agent, playing your sister, would be picking you up and taking you back to the IEA. Taehyung had been almost glued to your side the previous days, saying that he didn’t want anything to happen to you.

“Taehyung,” you groaned, laying in bed around twenty minutes before the car was supposed to arrive. He came into the room, looking at you with a neutral expression.

“Yes?” he asked, eyes locking with yours.

“I-I’m nervous,” you said, twiddling your fingers.

“The envoy will take you to the airport and then you’ll have a meeting with hyung, he’s not so bad. Especially since you’re pregnant. Hyung might be a jerk sometimes, but he’s not heartless, you’ll be safe Y/N, I promise.”

“And the second Feng is dead?”

“I’ll be on my way back to you,” he said firmly.

“Thank you Taehyung, for everything,” you said, feeling emotional.

“Don’t cry, jeez,” he admonished, coming to wipe your tears with his sleeve.

“Sorry, I’m just going to miss you,” you sniffled. Taehyung smiled softly at your tone, placing a gentle hand on your stomach.

“I’m going to miss you too, and your food. Honestly did you refrigerate some of that broccoli soup you made? If you don’t I might starve to death,” he complained.

Giggling you nodded your head. “Yes Tae, there’s at least four servings in there, just don’t eat it all in a row, I don’t want you to get sick,” you warned.

“Yes dear,” he said, rubbing his soft fingertips into your skin. “How big is the baby right now?” he asked, keeping his eyes locked on your little tummy.

“I’m about eight weeks so around the size of a kidney bean,” you explained.

“Our little bean,” he said, smiling.

“Yeah,” you grinned back.

The sound of a car door shutting came from up front. The two of you turned your heads and sighed. “Come on, I’ll get your bag for you,” Taehyung said, lifting what was supposed to be a little weekend bag filled with the necessities. 

You nodded and let Taehyung do the heavy lifting while you went to gather a couple things from the bathroom. Your sister, played by Yeri of accounting, came walking up smiling brightly. The two of you embraced quickly, hugging for a long time before Taehyung huffed like a little kid.

“Okay, off my wife,” he said, pulling you back for a second.

“Sheesh Taehyung, didn’t expect you to be so possessive,” she joked.

“Alright baby,” he said, ignoring Yeri all together, “I promise the second this is over I’ll come to get you,” he said smiling.

“Okay, I’ll hold you to it,” you beamed back.

“C’mere,” he said, pulling you in for a sweet kiss. Taehyung and you hadn’t really been as touchy feely recently, so to finally have his lips on yours felt amazing. Wrapping your arms around him contentedly you could hear Yeri gagging in the background.

“Come on kids, time to go,” she said, clapping her hands.

Breaking apart Taehyung tucked your hair behind your ears, “I’m gonna miss you,” he said, genuine sadness creeping into his features.

“I’ll miss you two, we both will,” you said, holding your stomach. Taehyung knelt to the ground and placed a kiss on your stomach.

“You both better behave,” he warned, shooting you a heated glance before standing up to give you a final hug.

“See you later, Taehyung!” you said, getting into the car.

Taehyung waved as the two of you drove down the road.

Time for phase two.

---

The drive between you and Yeri was quiet.

“Thanks for coming to get me,” you said softly, looking at your thumbs.

“Don’t mention it,” she said, waving her hand.

“Does the whole office know that I’m...” you trailed off, thoughts wandering.

“Pretty much everybody knows, sorry, Director Kim came out looking like he had just gone through an emotional rollercoaster. We all were kinda thrown for a loop when he said an envoy needed to be put together and stat. Everyone kind of murmured when Hoseok from HR spoke up about the reasoning for paperwork. And it sorta slipped that you had a bun in the oven,” she explained.

“Aw man,” you said, rubbing your face with your palm.

“I’m sorry that you got fired over this,” she offered.

“I knew that if I fucked up this mission in any way that it would get me terminated. Just didn’t think fucking would be the problem that got me fired,” you sighed.

“So, you and Taehyung huh?” she asked, eyes focused on the road.

“Oh, we’re not... like, serious or anything,” you scrambled.

“Serious enough to stick with you for a baby, that's a big time commitment,” Yeri commented.

“Well, we’re partners, we watch each other’s back and help when the other one needs it,” you repeated what Taehyung had told you nights prior.

“But with a baby? I don’t know Y/N, I’d just keep your eyes on the skies and head on the ground for right now. Try to readapt to civilian life,” Yeri suggested.

“I don’t see why we couldn’t work,” you mumbled, leaning your head against the window.

“Taehyung isn’t exactly a people person, how do you think he’ll react with a little people showing up in his world. Crying at all times of day, demanding feedings and toys and affection. It’s going to be overwhelming for the both of you,” she said.

“I-I get it, Yeri.” 

“Sorry, Y/N, I didn’t mean to be such a jerk about it. You know Taehyung better than probably anyone at the agency. If you believe him, then I don’t see why the two of you can’t make it work in a healthy manner,” she soothed.

But the damage was done.

A sense of unease settled over your stomach as you felt your heart clench painfully. Nothing was keeping Taehyung from going out and getting another woman. Someone prettier, a better agent who wasn’t so sensitive, someone who could handle him and his intense personality with ease. Not you who would bicker with him every chance you got.

“Y/N, put your head down,” Yeri demanded suddenly.

“What? Why-”

BANG!

A gunshot ran out over the road, taking out Yeri’s review mirror. The car swerved as Yeri tried to keep it from becoming an easy target. 

“Fuck!” Yeri screamed, hitting the guardrail on the other side of the road. 

“Yeri! Please be careful!” you said, holding your stomach in fear. 

“I can’t do much when someone is shooting at us Y/N!” 

“Who would be shooting at us anyways?!” you screamed, grabbing the bar above the window to stabilize yourself.

Another shot rang out, hitting a tire and causing a blowout. The car wobbled, fishtailing as the back end was no longer stable. You gripped onto the bar tightly, remembering your training and attempting to remain calm.

“Yeri, do you have a gun in here?” you asked.

“Yeah, glove box, why?” she asked, trying to drive with a blown tire.

“Because I know exactly who these people are, and they fucked with the wrong person,” you said, pulling the pistol out of the glove box and throwing the magazine in before rolling down the window.

“Y/N! What the fuck are you doing!”

“Saving our lives, maybe,” you said, pulling yourself up and out. Wrapping your leg around your seatbelt stabilized you, giving you better aim. 

Firing you nailed the passenger who was shooting in the head, watching as if flew back against the seat. Glass shattered from the bullet’s entry into the windshield. Next you aimed for the driver, shooting threw the broken windshield, hitting him in the throat. The car swerved behind you, hitting the guardrail and flipping before coming to rest on it’s side.

Smirking you pulled yourself back into the car, looking ahead of you. Only for your stomach to drop.

Dead ahead were three more cars, waiting.

Yeri slammed on the breaks, sending you forward into the dash. 

The two of you were fucked, blocking your only path out with a blown up car. Yeri seemed to notice because she pulled out her holstered weapon, aiming at the guys standing outside the car. The next thing you knew, the windshield was shattering, Yeri’s head slumping forward against the steering wheel, laying on the horn.

“Yeri!” You cried, gripping her shoulder and shaking her aggressively. 

The men swarmed the vehicle, grabbing at you and pulling you out of the vehicle kicking and screaming.

“Let me go you fuckers! I’m going to kick all of your asses!”

Once they finally got a good grip on you, you were held kneeling in front of...

“Doctor Namjoon?” you asked, eyebrow raising.

“Y/N, how pleasant to see you here,” he said, kneeling down to your level.

“What are you-how-when...?” you asked, confusion taking over your entire being.

“Well, you see Y/N, Mr. Feng would like a word with you and your husband.”

“What?”

“Mr. Feng, the one who supplies our town with everything it needs. The one who built our clinic, the one who set up the adoption center in town, would like to speak with you and your husband. We wouldn’t want to keep the good man waiting would we?” he said, standing up and motioning to the other men standing around you.

“Wait, Doctor Namjoon! There must be a mistake, what did we do? Why does Mr. Feng want to speak with us?”

“Because your husband has just won the election for mayor.”

---

Taehyung couldn’t believe the news.

He was now mayor.

Finally he could take down Feng and restore peace.

His co-workers were blowing up his phone non-stop. But there wasn’t a single message from you. Not that you had to message him or anything, but... it’d be nice to hear from you. Taehyung was caught up in his thoughts about you he almost didn’t hear his phone ringing.

The caller ID was yours.

“Hello? Y/N? Where are you? Did you make it to the airport alright?”

“Taehyung!” You screamed.

His blood ran cold at the desperate sound in your voice.

“Hear that little man? We managed to get ourselves a visitor,” a sinister tone echoed over the phone.

“Feng,” Taehyung growled.

“Now now, Taehyung, wouldn’t want to upset me. I’ve got two for the price of one after all,” Feng’s low voice warned.

Taehyung felt sick. You and the baby were in danger.

“What do you want?” Taehyung asked, desperate to save you.

“A resignation letter, brought to the address in the message that will follow this call,” Feng demanded.

“And if I refuse?”

“Two birds with one bullet,” he said, laying it out.

“Is she safe?” He asked, gripping his pant leg, anger suffusing his entire body.

“For now, the clock is ticking Taehyung.”

And with that, there was a click and the line went dead.

Taehyung flew into action, grabbing his bag and throwing on different clothes. 

“I’m coming baby,” he promised into the air, hoping to God you heard him in your heart.

---

Your body ached, hands tied behind your back without any care to blood flow or being able to feel your fingers. 

You were tied to a flimsy wooden chair, feet taped together. Feng and his men were surrounding the area, everyone seemed to have a position. You tried to find points of weakness, something to exploit, but there weren't many flaws in the way these men were placed. If Feng was good at something, it was security.

Looking around at the several areas of escape, you were disappointed to discover men stationed at every one of them. Of course, it would be a rookie move for them to leave any exit open around someone like you. Although you weren’t sure if they knew your true identity or not.

The likelihood of them knowing wasn’t high. They hadn’t pressured you or asked you any questions since your arrival. They’d merely tied you up and left you to wait. It was agonizing to sit still for the longest time, your hands burning from the rope being tied too tight.

The men around the warehouse were all milling around, all keeping their eyes on the doors. Feng was not a patient man, something you’d figured out. As he stood there, staring at the entrance where Taehyung could come through any moment.

“Boss, we should just kill her then kill him. We have the numbers on them,” one person spoke up, looking bored at the back.

“And what good would that do me? Taehyung is respected in the community, if he dies then the people won’t trust me anymore. Do you want my people not to have faith in me anymore? Do you want me to constantly be battling like this against stupid people who try to work against my tide? I am going to rule China one day, and it won’t be because idiotic people like you tell me what to do,” Feng growled out.

“S-sorry sir,” he whimpered out.

“Shut up and go check the perimeter,” Feng said, barking a few more orders before the men scattered like pool balls.

You sat there, silently observing everything going on. They had a standard set up, something two D3s could liquidate easily. But with one of you being compromised, it made it a little harder. Hopefully Taehyung had a plan.

“Worried that your husband won’t come for you?” Feng sneered, looking at you with disgust.

“When my husband shows up, you all should be very concerned about what you do next,” you warned, glaring harshly at Feng with as much venom as you could muster.

“Taehyung is a man of politics and sweet talking, not action. Although, he must have some action to have you end up in this state,” he scoffed.

“I’m known to be a man of action.”

Both yours and Feng’s heads snapped in the direction of the voice.

“Taehyung,” you breathed, so relieved to see him here. But at the same time fear coursed through your veins. This was a volatile situation with lots of variables, you both had to play this perfectly for it to work.

“Y/N,” he answered, coming to walk forward.

You felt cool metal touch the side of your temple and Taehyung halted in his steps, staring at the gun pointed to your head.

“I believe you owe me something, Mr. Taehyung,” Feng said, holding out his hand. 

Taehyung retrieved something from the inside of his jacket, holding it up before setting it down on the floor and kicking it over towards the two of you. Feng bent down to pick it up when you struck.

Lifting your tied legs up you bashed your heel over his head, causing him to collapse onto the ground. Taehyung rushed forward, quickly removing your bindings around your wrists and feet.

“Taehyung we don’t have much time, a majority of the guards will be back soon after checking the perimeter. Once they see your car they’re gonna book it back here,” you warned.

“I know, you act like this is my first rodeo,” he remarked, sounding mock hurt. 

Finally the restraints came off, falling to the ground in a heap. Taehyung didn’t hesitate to pull you into his embrace, quickly claiming your lips with his.

“Mmm, Taehyung, not now,” you said, pulling away after a few pecks. 

“What the fuck is going on here?” A guard asked, raising his gun and pointing it at you. Taehyung immediately put his body between you and the gun. 

“Feng is just taking a nap,” Taehyung pulled out his gun and shot at Feng, three times. “Permanently.”

“You son of a bitch!” 

Bullets started raining down on the two of you. Taehyung interlocked your fingers, taking off down the warehouse floor. You could hear the metal bullets flying past your ears, making them ring in irritation.

Taehyung continued to pull you down the alleyway, running fast as he could. Your legs burned with the effort to carry your body. You were frightened, adrenaline pumping through your veins at the idea of something happening to you. Taehyung or the baby. But you couldn’t think that way here, it was flight or fight time. And it’s time to fight.

Grabbing Taehyung’s gun you fired off a few rounds, hitting a couple guards towards the top of the railing. But with you standing still, you got a nick in your shoulder, a bullet grazing your delicate flesh.

Taehyung ripped the gun from your grasp and pushed you in front of him, sending your body hurtling forward. “Taehyung let me handle this,” you screamed.

“If you handle it that way you’ll wind up dead, and I won’t have that!” He yelled.

“Taehyung trust me,” you begged, going further ahead.

“I trust you with my life, but not yours,” he said, moving towards the car. Bullets flew past the two of you, one hitting the car tire dead on, having it pop like a balloon. Taehyung cursed as he sent a few rounds off back into the warehouse. You watched as a few men dropped like flies. His aim was deadly, no wonder he was one of the top operatives of the team.

“We need to find transport,” you said, looking at Taehyung.

“I know, but my car is around back, we’d have to fight our way through,” Taehyung said, looking dead ahead.

“Let’s do it,” you said, grabbing his hand and interlocking your fingers.

“No, I can’t risk you getting hurt,” he denied.

“Taehyung give me a gun and let’s get them. I’ve got your six if you’ve got mine,” you said, smiling brightly.

A few moments later, a pistol was place in your hand and Taehyung started moving ahead.

“Cover my back, I’ll go in first, you get any that I miss. Extra magazines are in my pockets,” he instructed as the two of you walked down the suspiciously empty hallway.

A few steps in Taehyung fired his first round. You both kept moving, hands interlocked and moving as one. You two were partners, and you both were going to get out of this unscathed if the other had anything to say about it. Taehyung felt your wedding band rub against his fingers and a new found strength gripped him. 

He wouldn’t fail.

Not today.

You saw movement in the room next to you, taking aim as you fired the round, watching as a man collapsed behind the door. A smirk left your lips as you saw the crimson fluid spill from under the door. Another one bites the dust.

Taehyung fired again, making sure to clear the rooms before heading down the hallway. Suddenly, two men appeared from the hallway in your direction. You squeezed Taehyung’s hand, he instantly flipped the two of you around, firing off two shots in their direction. You heard the distinct thud of bodies hitting the floor when you also took three shots at men coming towards you the new head of the movement.

Two went down easy, the third struggled on the floor, aimed and shot, shooting through the ceiling right in front of you. Running forward you crushed his wrist with your heeled shoe, shooting him through the head for good measure before Taehyung came back, bringing your hands together once more and taking the lead.

“They just keep coming,” you exclaimed, fingers already hurting from the recoil of the gun.

“Hang in there, just a few more, then we’re home free,” Taehyung said, shooting down the hall once more.

“Okay,” you agreed, letting the years of your training take over your body.

“That’s my girl,” Taehyung smiled, rubbing his thumb against your knuckles for a moment before pushing forward through the building.

The pet name sent liquid fire through your veins. You were his girl, you were the one carrying his child, no one else. It was the two of you against the world right now, and you were going to win.

“I see the door, I’m not sure if there’s an alarm on it or not, but be prepared to run,” he said, approaching the metal door with an air of caution. He checked around the seal, not seeing any wires or things of that nature that would trip an alarm, nor did he see any sensors that could also send a signal back to the main area of the warehouse.

“I think we’re in the clear. The car is right around the corner when we get down the stairs, okay? You go ahead of me alright. In case this door does trigger an alarm, I want you to get in the car and go. If I’m hit or I go down, you go without me, you understand?”

Panic suffused your body. Leave? Without him? Never.

“No, I won’t go unless you’re there with me,” you argued.

“Listen, if I go down there’s no way you can get me in the car by yourself. You’re carrying precious cargo baby, best not to risk anything,” Taehyung explained.

“Tae I’m not going to leave you,” you said, shaking your head.

“Baby listen to me, I need you to make it out of here. If I lose you now I-I don’t know what I’ll do,” he said, looking at you with concern.

“You won’t lose me, and I won’t lose you. We’re getting out of here together, Taehyung,” you said.

“Then let’s go,” he announced, opening the door. The two of you bolted down the stairs, not waiting for the alarm to trip or anything of the sort. Your heart was hammering in your chest, blood pounding in your ears. God, it had been so long since you felt like this.

The fear, the adrenaline.

It all made you realize what a crazy few months this had been. Originally, you hated Taehyung, hated what he represented. Everything you couldn’t be, just a reminder that you had failed. But in reality he was always there. Like no one else had been. Sure at the beginning it was by force, but after a while, you enjoyed having him around. He ate your dinners with gusto, complimented your appearance, was there for you when the rest of your world fell apart. 

Sure he could be a dick, but there’s a good person under all the bullshit. You wanted to discover that person. The one you had a glimpse of during these months. The one who smiles at every dog, who doesn’t like bitter things, who needs to sleep holding onto you.

Taehyung was the only person you could rely on, and you for him. The pair of you made a pact, all those months ago. Help me, help you. And the two of you were in it for the long haul now, a child on the way changed how you saw your life going. You never expected to be a mother.

But if it was with Taehyung, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. Maybe the two of you could make it work in a healthy way for everyone involved...

You saw the car, parked just off the road and in the ditch slightly, enough so no one would see it. Another shot rang out as you two booked it across the open dirt clearing around the warehouse.

Making it to the car you flung the driver side door open, when you realized Taehyung wasn’t standing beside you.

“Taehyung!” You screamed.

Looking behind you, Taehyung was there holding his side as if he had run too fast, but you saw it.

Blood.

Everything slowed down. You watched as he brought his hand before his face, staring at the crimson liquid coating his fingers. His eyes looked to yours, clear orbs that stared into his soul. Fuck, he fucked up. And he fucked up bad.

“Go on baby,” he said, falling to his knees.

“Taehyung, no!” you screamed, running over to his side.

“Y/N, get in the fucking car and go now,” he said through gritted teeth.

“No, I can’t just leave you here are you crazy?” you said, holding his side as well.

“Y/N, I’m serious. Leave me now, they’re coming,” he said.

True to his word you heard footsteps coming down the stairs that the pair of you had just run down yourselves. It sounded like a death march approaching you two. Taehyung was shuddering, white button up during red with proof of his injury.

“I’ll fend them off,” you said, holding his head with your other hand.

“No, you won’t. Go now, while you still can baby please,” he begged.

“Please don’t make me do this without you,” you cried, tears streaming down your face.

“I’m sorry, I wish I could... Be there for the both of you,” he said, placing his hand on your stomach. “Daddy loves you... Both of you,” he whispered. Before he went limp in your arms.

“Taehyung, no! Please please come back, I love you too please!” you screamed.

“There they are!”

“Get the bitch!”

With a final kiss you bolt up, firing a few shots at the men before you took off into the car, wiping your tears with the back of your hand.

Throwing the car in gear you peeled off down the road, hearing furious screaming behind you. But all you could hear were those words that’d haunt you for the rest of your life.

“I love you too, Taehyung.”

---

“It’s been five months, Y/N, you need to take it easy,” your friend, Park Jimin, said, helping you stand from your seated position.

“I’m only seven months, I got two more to go,” you said, rubbing your swollen belly with affection.

When you returned to the agency without Taehyung, Seokjin immediately knew what happened.

“Was it short?” he asked you as you appeared before him.

“Yes, he didn’t suffer,” you said.

Daddy loves you... Both of you...

Thinking about him still hurt, made your head spin with the memories of everything the two of you did together. 

His body laying in the dirt alone, as you ran to the safety of the vehicle.

Tears sprung to your eyes and Jimin rushed over, shushing you and rubbing your back.

Taehyung apparently had written a will out while the two of you were living in Feng’s little compound. Saying that anything and everything was to go to you. His apartment, his stocks and his trust that his parents left for him. It was all under your name now.

You could easily support your child and send them to any college you wanted without lifting a finger, but you knew that couldn’t work. So you got a job at a local convenience store. Something to pass the time while the baby twirled and kicked in your belly. 

People that came in and cooed over you, asking how you were and how the father was. You put on your brave face and told them he passed, but you were still doing well regardless. An old grandmother approached the check out one day...

It had been slow, no one really coming in except for a few college students and a couple middle aged men. Your feet were heavy with the weight of your pregnancy, but other than that, the day was alright.

Slow days like this were always a little harder on you. It gave you more time to think. Think about the past, the daunting cloud that was the future hanging over you. You must’ve looked distressed because a little old lady came up to the counter, a simple bottle of water in her basket.

“Are you alright dear?” She asked, looking at you with concern.

“Yes, I’m fine,” you said, wiping your eyes lightly to get whatever emotion was there out of them.

“Are you sure about that?” She questioned, looking deep into your heart.

And before you knew it, the floodgates opened. 

“No,” you whimpered out, tears falling freely from your face. 

“Oh my sweet, come here,” she said, opening her arms.

Running around the counter you took the embrace. It was the first time since Taehyung died you felt this level of comfort. Jimin tried his best but, nothing compared to the touch of a mother, someone who knew what you were going through. 

“You don’t have to talk about it, I know that pain. My husband passed before the birth of our third child. I know how badly you must hurt, but my dear, we must live on to celebrate their memory. There's sadness that comes with every passing, but we need to be happy for them. Be joyous in their memory, so that they can live on in us.”

You’d never cried that hard in your life you were certain.

But the old lady you’d never met just hung onto you, keeping you close and patting your head until your cries stopped. 

“Y/N, are you listening to me?” Jimin asked as he sat at your feet, rubbing them after your long day at work.

“Nope,” you said, popping the p for effect.

“I was saying, that we should make a nursery soon. You can’t put it off much longer. The baby is going to be here before you know it,” he said, rubbing out a knot that had been bothering you since near the beginning of your pregnancy.

“I can’t touch his stuff, Jimin, I can’t,” you whisper.

“Then I can-”

“Go in that room and I’ll cut your hands off Park Jimin,” you warned.

“Okay, okay. Then we should at least set up the cradle in your room,” he said, trying to compromise.

“Fine, but can we do it later, I’m super tired right now.”

“Yeesh, you’re such a little baby. Fine we’ll hold off until you have your next day off. Then we’re doing it,” he said.

“Okay okay, whatever,” you complained.

Jimin’s phone rang. You whined at the loss of his hands on your feet but let him go take his conversation. You looked down at your big, swollen belly and rubbed your hands over the flesh there. You didn’t want to know the gender of the baby yet. You weren’t sure what you wanted, but you knew that if they looked anything like Taehyung, your heart would break in the best way. 

Big eyes like his, that boxy smile, broad shoulders and large hands that held yours just so. Tears made their way into your eyes as you thought about him. After five months it still hurt. Not to wake up and have his arm over your waist. Hearing his soft singing in the shower. Not having his snarky comments and kinda rude attitude was even something you missed.

You just missed him...

“Hey, Y/N-oh shit, are you alright?” he asked, coming forward and touching your knee comfortingly.

“No, Jimin. How am I going to do this by myself? I can’t raise a child without him. I’m going to fuck it up, it’s going to go so wrong and I... I don’t know if I can do this,” you whimpered.

“You can do this. You aren’t alone. You know that Joy and I will do everything we can to help you out. Trust in us, we’ll be there every step of the way,” Jimin said, trying to comfort you.

“I miss him... So much,” you cried out, tears flowing freely down your face at this point. Jimin pulled you to his chest, trying to shush you, to comfort you in any way that he could. But it wasn’t enough. It wasn’t Taehyung. 

After a few minutes you finally calmed down. Jimin explained he had to leave and with a kiss on your forehead he was gone.

You sat on the couch, trying to watch some TV but nothing was getting rid of that feeling. The feeling in your gut that you knew. It was familiar. But you couldn’t pin it down.

Getting ready for bed you brushed your teeth and washed your face. Getting into bed you wrapped up in the blanket. It had been increasingly difficult for you to fall asleep as your pregnancy progressed. Too big to lay on your stomach and back you had to settle for sleeping on your side, something you weren’t used to. And trying to sleep without someone next to you was difficult.

Tossing back and forth all night you didn’t really fall asleep.

You kept hearing noises and having nightmares. 

Watching TV did little to ease your nerves.

You’d been spending time like this recently. So tired you’re desperate to sleep but you know in the back of your mind that sleep is so far away. 

Giving up you decided to go on a walk.

You lived in a decent neighborhood, mainly filled with older couples with no children, so you decided that a nice brisk walk in the fresh spring air would do you well. Struggling to pull on your shoes you heard it.

A rustling outside in the bushes. You waited a few moments before you heard it again. It was large, possibly a young bear, but you weren’t sure a bear would be this far into the suburbs. Again, you listened, this time a cough rang out as you waited.

A person.

Running to the bedroom you opened your bedside drawer and pulled the gun that sat under the false bottom. Gripping it tightly in your hands you moved slowly.

You knew how ridiculous this must look, but you were pregnant, alone and not taking any chances. Worst comes to worst you shoot a bear and call the cops saying you thought you were being robbed. You had a license, nothing would come of it. 

But bears don’t cough like that...

Slowly you approached the door, gun aimed low. You walked with purpose, keeping your posture straight as to be prepared in case someone came up behind you. If this was a robbery, it was likely not just one person. You didn’t want to call the police just yet, because maybe it was dumb kids deciding to take on a defenseless pregnant woman. Easy pray.

Normally.

However, as you approached the door you heard the rustling stop.

You laid your hand on the door knob, preparing yourself for the onslaught of what could be beyond the cherry hardwood. 

Quickly, you pushed the door open, aiming your gun at-

“Meow.”

“What the fuck?” you asked, looking down at a black and brown cat that had situated itself on your front doorstep.

“Meeeooowww.” It drawled at you, looking up and into your house with interest.

“No. Shoo,” you said, waving your gun carelessly into the night.

“Meeeoowww,” it said again, gazing at you with such tender eyes that it made your stomach drop.

“You need a place to stay, is that it?” you questioned, looking down at the animal.

It merely meowed again and moved passed you, strutting into your house like it owned the place.

“Sure, come on in,” you joked, walked back inside only to be stunned by what you saw.

The outline of a man, standing in the middle of your home.

Instantly the gun went up, locking onto his head with deadly precision.

“Who the fuck are you,” you growled, waiting for the intruder to turn around.

“Y/N?”

The gun clattered to the floor.

“What...?” you asked, staring into the face of the man you thought you’d never see again.

Taehyung stood before you, hair much longer than the last time you’d seen him. He looked thinner, but not grotesquely so. You couldn’t help yourself, you walked forward.

“This is a dream, a really cruel dream,” you whispered to yourself as you reached him.

“Baby,” he whispered, as if he was in the same place you were. Star struck.

“Taehyung what are you...” you said, reaching out and touching his face. There were a few scars here and there, but it was the same face, the same man you’d fallen in love with, standing before you.

“Feng’s top operatives are dead, the whole system is shut down, all thanks to us,” he said, as if it was the easiest thing in the world.

SMACK.

Taehyung’s head whirled to the other side as your hand collided with his cheek. Coming back with a confused look on his face he faced your anger.

“What the fuck do you call this?” you asked, glaring at him.

“What do you mean?” he said, holding his cheek in offense.

“What are you doing here, you’re dead Taehyung,” you growled.

“No, Y/N, I’m right here, I didn’t die,” he said, moving towards you. 

You placed your hand out in front of you, stopping him in his tracks. “Please Taehyung, don’t do this to me,” you begged.

“Don’t do what? Can’t you see me? I came back for you, for us,” he announced, like a grand scheme that had all gone to plan.

“What us, Taehyung? We never really had an us,” you explained, thinking back to your memories with him.

“The us we wanted to have,” he said quickly.

“Is that even possible for us, Taehyung? Did you think about that? About all these men that are going to be chasing you? And you brought them right here? To me?”

“No, baby, listen. I killed each and every one of them. I made sure that no one would hurt what I want to build with you,” he said.

“And what is that, Taehyung?” You asked, wanting to hear him say it.

“A family, Y/N. I want to build a family, a life with you,” he divulged, looking like an embarrassed school boy.

“Do you really think that’s possible? That your work won’t follow you-”

“I quit the agency,” he said, running his fingers through his hair. 

“You what?” you asked, looking at him in disbelief.

“I quit, Y/N, I’m done with espionage,” he said.

“You’re never done with the agency, you told me that yourself,” you accused.

“No, please hear me out. I wiped my record, everything. They don’t have access to anything anymore. Hyung won’t try to find me, I promise,” he begged.

“You can’t make a promise for someone else Taehyung,” you reminded him darkly.

“How can I convince you that I want this, that I want you more than anything?”

“I don’t know,” you whispered, dropping your gaze to the floor.

“Please, tell me how to fix this,” he pleaded, cradling your face in his hands.

“I don’t know if you can, Taehyung. It’s all so messed up,” you said, tears starting to well up in your eyes.

“God, Y/N, I’m so sorry. I did this. This is my fault,” he said, rubbing his face.

“It’s not just your fault, Taehyung, I didn’t help the situation any,” you said, trying to ease his pain.

“I was so hell bent on getting revenge... I could’ve stopped but I didn’t. I didn’t stop until every last one of them was gone, and it took me too long. I mean, look at you,” he said, gesturing to your stomach. “If I had waited any longer our child would be born and I... I could’ve missed that because of wanting revenge. I’m disgusting.”

“Taehyung stop.”

“Y/N it’s my fault that you’re like this. It’s my fault that you had to suffer and it’s my fault that we-”

You wrapped your arms around his neck as you kissed his lips with passion you hadn’t felt in a long time. Taehyung took the opportunity to wrap his arms around your hips, pulling you closer than you were before. Your stomach pressed against his and your baby swirled and kicked and tumbled inside of your stomach. The air wooshed out of your lungs as you felt them wiggle around. Never had they been so active before.

Taehyung pulled away, looking at you with sheer adoration. “I can feel them,” he said, holding the side of your stomach gently. “Can I?” he asked, looking at you with desperation.

You nodded your head, looking down as he fell to his knees in front of you. Taehyung’s hands pushed your shirt up to expose your full belly. His eyes misted up as he wiped at them furiously. “You’re so beautiful, honestly,” he said, placing his lips against your soft skin.

“You’re so full of shit,” you said, laughing. “I’m the size of a whale,” you complained.

“No you aren’t. You’re pregnant, with my baby, fuck that’s so hot,” he groaned, tilting his head back.

“Yeah?” 

“Yes, fuck...” he said, resting his head on your belly. Your baby kicked, making Taehyung’s head pop up quickly. “They kicked! Oh my God, Y/N!”

“Yeah, our baby tends to do that, a lot at night too,” you told him softly.

“Really?” he asked, looking genuinely excited.

“Mhmm,” you said, gazing at Taehyung’s sparkling eyes.

“Y/N,” Taehyung swallowed hard, “can I ask you something?”

“Sure,” you agreed.

“C-Can I stay... with you?”

“What?”

“N-evermind! I’ll get a hotel room or something. Maybe Jin-Hyung will let me stay with him for a while but-”

“Taehyung,” you shushed. He quieted almost immediately.

“Yes?”

“You can stay,” you said softly, “I want you to stay.”

“Really?” he said, astonished.

“Yes, but I’m laying down some ground rules,” you said.

“Of course,” he announced.

“You have to sleep in the same bed as me,” you started. Taehyung simply smiled. “You have to rub my feet when I ask, the first time I ask. And I want you to wash my hair for me,” you said, adding on that last one just to make him annoyed.

“Okay,” he agreed easily.

“And,” you said again.

“And?” he waited patiently.

“And I get to pick the first name of the baby,” you said smirking.

“Can’t we atleast get a list of names we both like together?” he asked, pouting.

“Fine fine, we can do that,” you agreed.

“So I can stay?” he asked, looking for any hesitation in your eyes.

“Yes, Taehyung, you can stay. I want you to stay,” you said again, moving to wrap him in your arms tightly.

“So we’re doing this, officially?”

“I thought it already was?” you asked, holding your hand up to reveal your ring, the one you hadn’t taken off since Taehyung ‘died’.

“You didn’t take it off?”

“How could I? It was one of the only things you ever gave me, besides this,” you said, pointing to your stomach with a laugh.

“I’m not going to apologize,” he said, smiling.

“Don’t want you to,” you said, grinning back.

“Let’s go to bed, my pretty wife,” he said, taking your hand and leading you into the bedroom.

The pair of you laid down, not even wanting to change. Taehyung comfortably wrapped his arms around you, pulling you back towards his body. 

It felt like being whole again, everything was right with the world.

And everything was going to be okay.

---

Everything was not okay.

“Taehyung I swear to fuck if you hit one more goddamn bump in this road I will slit your throat,” you growled, hanging onto the bar above the window for dear life.

“Baby I’m going as smoothly as I can,” he argued.

“Bullshit, it’s like you’re doing it on purpose!” you accused.

“Y/N,” he countered.

“Do not Y/N me right now Kim Taehyung or I will fucking kill you!”

It had started about an hour ago. 

Your baby was quiet, Taehyung and you sleeping soundly when you felt it. A distinct cramp coming from your well... down there.

Readjusting yourself you thought that might help and make it go away. You’d been cramping a lot lately, something the doctor told you was totally normal in your stage of pregnancy. But if it got any more intense then you should probably come in.

Then a sharp stabbing pain made you jolt up in bed. Taehyung was quick to get up too, looking blearily at you in concern.

“What’s wrong baby?” he asked, rubbing your shoulder soothingly.

“Nothing I just-ah!” you gasped, feeling another sharp pain shoot through your body.

“Y/N?” he asked, turning to face you more directly.

“I-I think I’m having contractions,” you paled.

“Are you sure they aren't braxton hicks?” he asked, trying to narrow down the issue.

“No. These feel completely different than those, I-I wanna go to the hospital,” you said, moving to stand up when a rush of fluid went down your leg. 

“Fuck, Y/N,” he said, staring at your soaked legs.

“Get the car.”

That’s how you wound up driving to the hospital at three in the morning on a Tuesday. 

Pulling into the parking lot Taehyung came around quickly to help get you out of the car. You took his arm, legs feeling wobbly as you tried to stand. Taehyung helped you the whole way, listening to you curse him out while you made your way across the parking lot.

It was a blur from there. Taehyung’s voice the only thing you could clearly make out.

You were in a wheelchair and you could feel the urge to push, you needed to push.

“Taehyung,” you whimpered, reaching for him desperately.

“It’s okay, Y/N, you’re going to be okay,” he said, wrapping his fingers around yours as you made it to the room. 

Doctors were in a flurry around you, people poking and prodding at you, adjusting this and moving that when you finally had enough.

“Stop with all the fucking around and just help me push for fucksake!” you screamed.

Everyone stopped and the doctor towards the back seemed to catch on.

“She’s dilated she needs to push,” he said, coming forward and adjusting your legs in the stirrups so that you could have better leverage.

“Okay sweetheart now take a deep breath and push,” the nurse behind you said. 

Pushing was so hard, it was like nothing you’d ever felt before. 

It was as if no matter how hard you pushed nothing would happen.

“Taehyung,” you whined, making a grabbing motion for him. Soon a big hand was wrapped around yours, warmth enveloping you as you felt the urge to push again.

“Come on baby, push, just like they said, you can do it,” Taehyung encouraged.

“I can’t. Taehyung it hurts too much,” you whimpered, grabbing onto him desperately.

“I can see the head! You’re doing amazing!”

“See? They’re almost here baby, just a little more,” Taehyung said, tears in his eyes.

“Do you got my six?” you asked, looking at him with misty eyes as well.

“I got your six baby, till the end,” he nodded.

One more big push and you felt instant relief. 

“Sir, do you want to cut the cord?”

Soon Taehyung’s warmth was replaced by a small body being placed on your chest, crying was all you heard. Instinctually, you brought them to your breast, letting them latch on and drink their fill.

Then a small kiss was placed to the top of your head.

“Baby she’s beautiful,” he cried, nestling his head into your hair.

“She? It’s a girl?” you asked, looking up at him.

“Yes, it’s a girl,” he acknowledged. 

“Oh my God,” you cried, wrapping your arms around your baby, coddling her to your chest. 

“What’s the name?” A nurse from the back asked, probably getting a crib for her ready.

“Rose,” you said, instantly knowing the name was perfect for your child.

Taehyung made a small whimpering sound from behind you, and you knew he liked it too.

Turning slightly you brought him to your lips, a sweet kiss being shared between the two of you. 

“I love you Taehyung,” you said, wiping a single tear from his eye.

“I love you too, Y/N, both of you.”

[fanwright]

Gladiator: 200th Chapter Celebration

Tagging: @kigozula @seyaryminamoto

---

Seyary, this is a great milestone for you. Just want to let you know that I’m happy for you and impressed by the work that you have done over the long years of writing this story. You’ve inspired others to get into Sokkla as well as to have fun with the ship. Its been a great pleasure!

When I first picked up this story, I was still in college and rediscovering ATLA. Gladiator, as well as your other stories (which I recommend that others read as well) really cemented my liking for this ship. Years later, I’m still here, though all the ups and downs.

Now, despite me liking Gladiator a whole lot, I’ve admittedly fallen behind on catching up with it, chapter by chapter. That said, I do want to read it at my own pace and as I read more I still find myself loving the story, as there is much to enjoy. 

So, to that end, I’ll be commenting on the parts of the story I have been caught up with, Chapters 1 to 100. I hope that’s okay. 

---

1.) Favorite Character: Sokka

Now, this doesn’t mean I don’t like Azula. Of course not. And choosing one over the other is such a hard call to make that I would rather have them both occupy the same spot. But I decided Sokka in this case for a number of reasons. Others have commented on Azula in their own posts, so I thought giving my reasons for Sokka seemed only fair. 

We’ve seen Sokka change a lot over the course of the story and I seeing him morph into the character he is now is such a stark contrast to the one we saw at the very beginning. He hated the Fire Nation and was unwilling to cooperate with Azula. And yet, after trial and error and harsh circumstance, we have seen become a great warrior in his own right and the closest companion Azula has ever had, being her secret lover. It has been such a treat seeing him change and adapt and grow in this story. And as someone who really does like him as much as Azula, it was (and still is) a thill to see him get an all-star treatment in a story. 

And yet there are lingering complexities within him in this story, as far as I have gotten in it. There is still that awareness within him of who he serves and what he is doing, along with a nagging feeling of inadequacy that has hounded him at every turn. Bit by bit, either by his own efforts or with a little help, he is clawing his way forward internally to find some reconciliation. And I find that very compelling. 

And also its fun to see him thrash gladiators.  

2.) Least Favorite Most Dreaded Character: Ozai

Well, that’s not true really. I don’t dislike any of the reoccurring characters actually. 

The best way to describe this particular choice is “Most Dreaded Character”. I chose Ozai for this one because I dread the moment in when he finds out Azula and Sokka’s little affair. Now, again, I’m only on Chapter 100, so things could have changed by now. Yet, I believe still that if Ozai finds about about all this... a lot is going to change for Azula, Sokka, and even the Fire Nation. He will be a consequential character in the chapters to come and dread to see the his wrath and what that will mean for everyone else. It will not be pretty.

3.) Favorite “Antagonist”: Toph

When I first picked up this story and saw Toph introduced as an adversary, I was hyped. Like, you have no idea how hyped and pumped up I was for them to brawl. And I was not disappointed. 

See, for me, Toph represented more than just a metaphorical torn in both Sokka’s and Azula’s side for a good chunk of this story. She is at times a very compelling mini-villain, as if she is straight out of a Disney movie. She loves what she does and enjoys it, and knows just how powerful she is. And flaunts it in spectacular display. She has such a simple yet understandable motivation and was a very real threat to Sokka’s own life in the very first fight they were in. And despite both Sokka and Toph eventually learning to respect and even befriend each other, there was always the nagging thought that they would eventually fight again, and each one knew they wanted to win that rematch. Toph provided Sokka and Azula a reoccurring adversary to strive toward beating. Even as other gladiators came and went, they always knew Toph would be their biggest obstacle. So much build up was focused on training for that eventuality. And all of it was compelling enough to paint Toph as this great rival to them. Her being a part-time ally in some cases and even being a friend didn’t really change that until after they had fought a second time. 

Its because of this that I now believe firmly that Toph should be used as an antagonist more, if a story needs one. She is just so fun and so good as villain that hope others come to use her as one in AUs. 

As I read more, I’m sure this might change in time. But, even with all the fights Sokka has had, I firmly maintain that Toph was his greatest adversary on many levels. 

4.) Favorite OC: Rui Shi

Honestly, I think this guy is a sprit animal to someone out there. He’s just a guard trying to do his job right and the person he protects consistently makes that job harder for him in the most ridiculous ways. “Oh great, my princess is in an affair with her Gladiator and that won’t stop fucking like rabbits. Joy.”

Honestly, this man needs a vacation. A long one. And Seyary hasn’t given it to him, because she likes to make his life hard. Rude. 

For the longest time, I actually thought Rui Shi was much older than he actually is in the story. So until a picture of him was finally made, I pictured him as a 40 year old veteran with a graying mustache and beard. Even with how he actually looks, I wouldn’t be surprised if his job made him grow gray hair from all the stress. 

Good OC, one of a few I like.

5.) Favorite Suitor: Zhao

Should probably be no surprise. Where I am at right now, he’s essentially the suitor to beat as well as having the ultimate Gladiator for Sokka and Azula to defeat. Azula even admired him at some point. Though that has changed, I feel that Zhao has his eyes set on courting Azula further. Its a move that Ozai would likely not object to, provided Zhao pulls off something grand to earn that honor. And although every suitor has made Sokka angry, I feel Zhao would anger him on a deeper level as his interest in Azula grows. 

I look forward to seeing him more.

6.) Favorite Gladiator(s): Jet and Suki (For Chapters 1-100)

Jet being a brainwashed Gladiator highlighted a dark aspect to the games. He was also a brutal berserker when in the ring and one of Sokka’s most bitter adversaries. Suki to me was an interesting contrast to Sokka his situation with Azula. She was to me a kind of noble gladiator, an Amazon in the ring put gentle when out of it. Putting the canon characters in as Gladiators was always a treat for me and actually lends itself to some world-building.

7.) Favorite Gladiator-Canon Pairing: Sokka/Azula

This should not be a surprise :P 

I could go on and on about it, but for the sake of brevity, I’ll keep things short. This should not be surprise because the driving force and the very soul of this entire story is about a warrior-princess falling in love with a tribal gladiator. Their differences and how they reconcile them, their fears and pain, their passion and drive, all propel this story forward. Things have changed in this story because of them and they themselves have changed because fate brought them together.

If that isn’t enough to make them my favorite, then I’m sorry I don’t know what else to say to convince you XD 

8.) Favorite Arc(s): Rough Rhinos Arcs

Two arcs hit me hard on an emotional level - The end of the introductory arc and the Rough Rhino’s arc. They literally crawl out of quagmire, find a dragon in the process, and have one of the most touching and sincere heart-to-hearts in the story thus far. It was one of my favorite arcs to read and the emotional stakes were high. As I read more and continue, this might change, but for now I maintain this is one of my favorite arcs.

9.) Favorite Places/Locations: To Be Determine

This is the down side of having to catch up. There are a lot of locations in the story and in the ATLA universe that I like, and its always a hard choice for me to decide. I am a big fan of settings for a story and when I find a setting I like I usually latch onto it in all its locations. So for now, I will not decide on a solid choice.

... however, in any AU it might show up in, Bs Sing Se is my first choice by biased default. I just love that city and I always appreciate when a story fleshes it out in little ways. Gladiator being set for a fraction of its time in the city was great for me as I got to read more about the city I like so much. 

10.) I wish to see Sokkla in...: More tender, couple-like moments

Surprising, I know. But I what I mean is this - moments where they refrain from arguing, don’t bicker, and just enjoy being around each other, doing small things together. And its hard for them, they have to train they, have to keep their relationship a secret, they can only be a true couple for fleeting moments because of how dangerous and vulnerable it will leave them. And it claws at my heart every time. So I cherish the moments they have when they can be themselves around one another, fleeting as they sometimes are. 

11.) I believe Sokka and Azula’s relationship will be revealed when/like/because of...:

... when they get careless. When they feel that they are safe in their secrecy, complacaent in their routines for keeping their relationship hidden, that’s when it will be revealed. Its a kind of Hubris of sorts. 

And when its revealed, it will lead to something bad and irreversible for the both of them. You can only hide something like this for so long. Even historical royal affairs were never as secret as theirs. And they have taken painful precautions to keep it all under wraps. 

So when it finally does, it will change everything. And that’s going to be quite the wild ride.

12.) I believe at the end of Part 3...:

... that a sacrifice will be made. A death or a relinquishment of something. Sokka and Azula will be together, but something will have to be given up, and it will test them for the final time. 

I can’t say what it will be, but I’m going to enjoy finding out.

[throwing-roses-into-the-abyss]

Fic wrap-up

It’s been a shitty year for everyone, myself included. 2020′s really done a number on me, and my mental health is currently at the lowest it’s been in years. BUT I’m working on it, and I figure part of that is being proud of what I did do, the things I did make, despite it all. 

So this year, I somehow wrote (and posted) 10 fics, with a total of 21,507 words. The longest fic I wrote was 6K, the shortest just 827 words. I know in the grand scheme of things that isn’t much, but considering, you know, everything, I’m still happy with that. 

And I think y’all were happy with it too. Several of these fics got 1000+ hits! Considering for me usually anything over 200 hits is a success, that’s amazing.

I did learn this year that I am terrible at tagging, and at knowing what my stories are actually about. I think I probably write more hurt/comfort and found family trope than I realize. Also the usual domestic suspects like cooking/eating and sleeping together, I write those way more than I realize. If someone sees other recurring themes in these, let me know? I’d be really curious to hear what other people think these stories are really about.  

Thank you all so much for reading, and leaving kudos and comments! I still get an email almost every single day that someone left kudos, and it makes me a little bit happier every day. 

So just to share them once more, here they all are, sorted by fandom: 

Dan & Phil: 

mating calls  5 times Dan loved Phil’s subtle attempts at flirting through animal facts, and one time he didn’t. 1354 words, teen and up audiences  Tags: 5+1 fic, getting together, 2009 fic, fluff, mentions of family members, animal facts, gay animals, bad flirting through animal facts, making animal sounds, gratuitous abuse of artistic freedom when it comes to available technology, by which I mean I have no idea when phones got email just bear with me okay

House Hunters   Kath and Nigel go down to London to help Phil and Dan find a house to buy 827 words,  gen Tags: moving, POV Outsider, headaches & migraines, bugs & insects Just You, And Him  You first realize your feelings may have changed when you look at him pouring coffee, eyes bleary and curly hair flopping around chaotically as if he’s had a restless night again. Or, the one in which there is a lot of pining. 921 words, gen  Tags: POV Second Person, pining, yearning, food, getting together, oh my god they were roommates

and they were roombas  Dan knows that, as a manmade inanimate object, he should not be capable of talking or of feeling anything, let alone love. Not that it matters, because there’s no way Phil feels the same about him anyway. Dan is content to live his life cleaning floors and occasionally bumping into Phil, without ever doing anything about his feelings. That is, until one fateful day they get stuck under a table together…It’s a race for survival and love as time starts running out. Will they live happily ever after or will their love fade as quickly as their batteries? 2027 words, gen  Tags: crack, roombas, swearing, there’s a cat, I don’t....I don’t know what else to put here, the word war chat made me do it, I don’t know what this is either

Star Trek: Picard:

on this fresh morning in the broken world  Guinan has heard a lot of rumours about Picard’s latest adventures and the crew of La Sirena. She never quite believed them, knowing fully well how rumours tend to be exaggerated. Then Picard shows up to ask her to join the ship for a while, and Guinan realizes she’s never done learning after all. 3033 words, gen  Tags: guinan meets the sirena crew, canon divergent, holosquad, introspective, trauma, spoilers for picard, no I mean it there are spoilers here, do NOT read if you’re not up to speed on picard

HIStory 3: Trapped: 

Jack Tries To Become A Normal Member Of Society  After everything’s settled down and Jack has taken his time to relax and enjoy this newfound life with Zhao Zi, he decides it’s time to find a normal job. After all these years as a mercenary and working with the mafia and Interpol, how hard can it be, right? 3271 words, gen  Tags: shenanigans, comedy, some (threats of) violence, sex mentions, swearing, blood, menial labour, annoying customers, unrealistic scenarios, found family trope, quite possibly the single most self indulgent fic I’ve ever written

how two hands touch  Okay, maybe Tang Yi does sleep better when Shaofei is there. He’ll never actually admit that though.(a 5+1 fic) 2414 words, teen and up audiences  Tags: fluff, domestic fluff, food, banter about food, cooking, some angst and sadness but I promise everything will be ok, shaofei does go into the hospital again sorry about that, I figured he’s used to it, set from mid-canon to post-canon, not beta read My Engineer: 

Duen Holmes and the Case of the Missing Cupcake  While at the volunteer camp, Cupcake goes missing. Duen decides this is the perfect opportunity to try out some sleuthing.Or, the one in which Duen plays Sherlock Holmes, and finds out some very interesting things indeed. 6495 words, teen and up audiences  Tags: cupcake the lizard, camp trip, fluff, crack, so just like a regular episode really, canon compliant up to episode 12, spoilers up to episode 12

Unrooted  King has some thoughts on Ram's tattoos. 988 words, gen Tags: tattoos, introspective Unspoken  Ram has some thoughts on King and his plants. 1531 words, gen  Tags: introspection, plants

[lanonima]

I have finished Jing Wei Qing Shang so it’s update time again~

I’m taking a few days off before I start anything new, but the next thing on my list is about a quarter of the length so it won’t take long once I start.

Romantic - Fucky is not how risque a work is but rather my opinion of the attitude/quality of the main relationship, the way the characters interact with respect to one another. I like a lot of stuff in fiction but if you’re easily made uncomfortable, stay towards the top half.

Easy reading - Plot-heavy is how I personally consider the plot’s intricacy and successful implementation, regardless of the author’s intention.

Jing Wei Qing Shang

Author: Please Don’t Laugh

Quality: 9.8

Enjoyment: 10

Comments: I have to start off by saying: damn girl. The improvement evident in this book is absolutely insane. A few minor issues prevent me from giving it a 10 out of 10 – her transitions are still extremely abrupt, the ending is slightly weak and some plot points remain unresolved, and her use of narrative repetition is too heavy-handed for my taste. Other than that, this book leaves me almost speechless. Very similar to Female General and Eldest Princess, there are many similar themes and events. But while I thought FGEP was fairly cute, I like this one way better. If you like angst, political intrigue, and lesbians, you should definitely read this book. I have no doubt that Please Don’t Laugh will continue to improve in the future, and I really look forward to following her career.

Would I read it again: 100%, I absolutely intend to read this again sometime in the future. It's very long and very dense but delightful and ultimately worth it.

My reviews for everything else are under the cut.

Mo Dao Zu Shi

Author: MXTX

Quality: 9.5

Enjoyment: 10

Comments: I have a huge emotional connection to this novel. There are some weak parts, the tension isn’t quite even, she’s pretty terrible at erotic scenes and not great at fight scenes…but that being said, I love the characters and some of the plot points really ripped my heart out. This is a novel that’s really driven by the characters so if you’re a character-focused person like me, definitely look into it (as if we all don’t already know it lmao). I really, really love this story. Every single adaptation of it has also been great, but the novel is still my favorite. It was my introduction to xianxia novels too, so you can say it changed my life!

Would I read it again: I’ve already read it twice, and consumed every adaptation (sometimes also multiple times)

Scum Villain’s Self-Saving System

Author: MXTX

Quality: 6

Enjoyment: 5

Comments: I’m not much of one for comedy and, as I discovered, not really into system novels either. Clearly weaker than MXTX’s later work, many of the characters are somewhat bland, she hasn’t quite found her groove yet. It’s not my style but the fandom is hilarious and the fans constantly produce content that I actually do find entertaining so overall I still have some fond feelings for this one, even if not for the source material.

Would I read it again: I found a different translation and am willing to try again in the future, I’m also willing to watch the donghua. But I can’t guarantee I’ll like it any more than previously.

Tian Guan Ci Fu

Author: MXTX

Quality: 10

Enjoyment: 10

Comments: I love this book…but not as much as I love Mo Dao Zu Shi. I think the plot is somewhat typical, however the characters are great once again (though maybe slightly less deep than MDZS), and her use of thematic repetition and foreshadowing are killer. Actually, I liked this book more the second time around because it just hits differently. Definitely the best of MXTX’s couples, they are so soft and sweet. Very long, but worth it.

Would I read it again: I already have, was personally translating the manhua before I hurt my arms, and am eagerly awaiting the donghua this fall!

The Villain’s White Lotus Halo

Author: A Big Roll of Toilet Paper

Quality: 10

Enjoyment: 10

Comments: Fuck, I love this one so much…..even though it’s also a system novel. But that part is in it so rarely that it reads more like pure fantasy. I love the characters, I love the plot, I love the way the relationship is developing. Oh yeah, the translation isn’t even complete but I already purchased not only the original from JJWXC but also the print edition. I’ve even drawn fanart for it, which is so unlike me. Every time a chapter comes out, I’m ruined for the rest of the day, I can’t think about anything else. Good fight scenes, which is uncommon. My favorite danmei novel so far.

Would I read it again: I fully intend to once the translation is complete, and also plan to read it in Chinese later (I’ve already read certain parts in Chinese hahaha but not the whole thing)

2Ha (Husky and his White Cat Shizun)

Author: Meatbun Doesn’t Eat Meat

Quality: 8

Enjoyment: 10

Comments: 2Ha is not for the faint of heart, it’s very horny, and violent, and has a lot of questionable content. However I love it so much. The story and characters are great, Meatbun really has me by the heart. The writing is a little more on the casual side but it hardly matters because the story is so great. Good fight scenes. Chu Wanning is like, the ultimate Me™ character, I hate how much I adore him. If you read this, just go into it knowing that it’s a long emotional journey, the characters are very dynamic and there’s a lot of character development.

Would I read it again: Same as the above, I plan a reread when the translation is done and have read parts in Chinese and might read the whole thing again later. Cautiously eager about the up-coming live action and donghua.

Di Wang Gong Lue

Author: Yu Xiao Lanshan

Quality: 2

Enjoyment: 9

Comments: This is one of the most terribly written things I’ve ever read, but I’m a character girl and the characters and ways they interact fucking kill me. I’m constantly entertained….although I don’t think this is actually supposed to be a comedy. If I were going to treat myself and like, take a bubble bath and read something that made me laugh, this is exactly the sort of trashy romance I would want to read. Technically a political intrigue story but it’s so abrupt and full of holes, are any of us reading it for the actual plot? The donghua is on Youtube, I watched it first and recommend others to do the same. If you can handle that, you can handle the book because it’s exactly the same in quality, just gayer. I do love the main couple a lot, the set-up surrounding the relationship is great, and the side characters are also really fun.

Would I read it again: Probably not, but I’m still having fun with it. I watched the donghua and read a bit of the manhua as well, which has very cute art and is probably my favorite version of the story.

Liu Yao

Author: Priest

Quality: 6

Enjoyment: 7.5

Comments: I really struggled getting into this one, it took me about 25 chapters to get invested. Initially I had rated it a 6 in enjoyment but after careful thought, I realized that even though it was so hard for me, it probably is my favorite Priest novel and I really do love the main couple so much. Her side characters also seem to be slightly stronger than usual in this one. Decent plot, not too much or too little. It seems really chill to me, doesn’t provoke much of an emotional reaction but I do think it’s very sweet, which is nice sometimes too.

Would I read it again: No, but I think (?) it’s supposed to get some kind of tv adaptation (drama or donghua, not sure), and if that happens, I’ll watch it.

Didn’t Know the General was Female

Author: Rong Qing

Quality: 4

Enjoyment: 6

Comments: Not the greatest thing I’ve ever read, but cute. It’s short, and a little lesbian fluff is never a bad thing. Writing is a bit weak and the plot is basic, but the characters are enjoyable and I liked it overall.

Would I read it again: No.

Wrong Way to a Demon Sect Leader

Author: Yi Zhi Dayan

Quality: 4

Enjoyment: 7

Comments: Again, not the greatest in writing or plot, it’s a bit shallow. But I found the idea of it to be entertaining, and actually liked it more than I would have assumed. It’s fairly short and cute, like a good summer beach read.

Would I read it again: Probably not, but possibly, if the stars align.

Female General and Eldest Princess

Author: Please Don’t Laugh

Quality: 7

Enjoyment: 6

Comments: A very good first effort, but the writing is a bit weak. It’s slow to start and I don’t think the political plotline is spectacularly strong. Some things were left unexplained, and her sense of battle tactics and fight-writing were very confusing, definitely room for improvement. I don’t think it’s as good as people say, but she writes with the air of someone who will continue to improve. And also, a lesbian author writing lesbian stories so that’s a plus. Overall I enjoyed the experience, this story is definitely worth a read.

Would I read it again: Maybe, but probably not.

Sha Po Lang

Author: Priest

Quality: 7

Enjoyment: 7

Comments: Originally I rated this one higher, but on later thought I realized that I actually enjoyed Liu Yao more. I personally have issues with the way Priest writes, and this book showed a lot of them. Characters were okay, I did like the main couple, but side characters were weak as usual. The plot is pretty good, though not great, and I think some of the pacing is off. Some descriptions were confusing, but that could be a translation issue. Overall, still a pretty good political drama, but I would say that of the three I read, this was the Priest novel with the least impact on me.

Would I read it again: No. But I will watch the live action if it ever gets made.

Guardian

Author: Priest

Quality: 6

Enjoyment: 5

Comments: I love Shen Wei and Zhao Yunlan, thought the plot was interesting, and there were some enjoyable moments. But it has all the problems I usually have with Priest in addition to some choices that offend me as a queer reader. I spent about 75% of the time reading while pissed off. And actually the fact that it had a happy ending kinda bummed me out because I love a good tragedy. Overall, I can only give it an average score. If you like Priest, you’ll like this one too. I’m not a tv person but I binged the hell out of the live action, I really loved it, so I was sort of disappointed that the source material didn’t seem as strong as I had assumed.

Would I read it again: No, but I will happily watch the live action again some day.

[thisentertaining]

Instinctual - The Instincts of the Airwalkers- pt 1

Zuko wasn't sure what to think about the tales of modern day figures living and flying in the Northen Air Temple. His people are... thorough. He doesn't want to let Aang down, but he finds it hard to believe that anyone not stuck in an iceberg had escaped the eradication.

When he got to the temple, he hated being proven right. What's more, he hated seeing Earth Kingdom strangers destroying what little of Aang's heritage survived the attack of his people. But the day that the Fire Nation launches a second attack on this once idyllic temple, Zuko hates the most that he has to finally make a clear choice.

He'd thought he'd made this choice already, thought he'd made it several times over, but the question remains when he'd least like it to: Is he willing to fight against his Nation?

Read on Ao3

Read from Beginning

Azula had never been shy about calling him insulting names. In fact, he was almost certain that casual insults had been more common than ‘Zuzu’, and she certainly never deigned to call him Zuko. She’d had a lot of fodder to create the names, centering on how he clung to Mother, his inability to please the tutors, his abysmal fire bending progress, the innate weakness that she and Father saw and he’d never been able to identify to change. Most of them bothered him, and he wasn’t good at hiding it, which only encouraged her to keep using them.

The only one that hadn’t bothered him was when she called him a Theatre Nerd. Ursa had been an actress, bringing life to even their bedtime stories before Azule got ‘too old’ for them. Zuko hadn’t felt too old, but he was older than Azula, and so he’d been too embarrassed to request that they continue. Regardless, he’d loved trips with his mother to see the theatre, and even Azula had enjoyed when they went to the Ember Island Players together, if only because Ursa eviscerated the poor quality shows with a viciousness that the prodigy could appreciate.  

After Mother disappeared they never went to another play, but Azula would use the insult every time she caught Zuko cramming a theatre scroll in his homework pile or humming the notes to the overture in ‘Love Amongst the Dragons’. Zuko hadn’t minded. If anything, it had made him feel closer to his mother, as if this was a part of her that remained even though she was gone. Additionally, he didn’t really think there was anything wrong with enjoying good storytelling.

This was not good storytelling.

The man at the fire had told a story that was winding, without a clear plot or purpose. Even his terminology was off, he called airbendenders ‘airwalkers’, and acted as though it was reasonable for the main character to think it was a human-sized parrot. He only really got artistic with it at the end, and by then Zuko was as bored as Aang was enthralled. The Fire Nation teen was mentally going through the Airbender-featuring plays he’d read to give Aang a proper story when the man stopped talking.

(Technically, scrolls with non-Fire-Nation main characters were illegal unless the foreigners were the villains, but Ursa had a cache of scrolls that even Ozai had never known existed.)

(They’d disappeared the night she did; all but one. Zuko’s favorite, a biography of Avatar Kyoshi, had appeared under the turtleduck tree. Mom used to joke that she regretted letting Zuko read that one because he’d learned to be stubborn from a woman renown for her will even among a nation who took pride in their tenacity.)

“Aren’t airbender stories the best?” Aang asked happily, and Zuko felt some of his annoyance at the subpar story ease. This was important for Aang, it was good that he got the reminder that his people were not forgotten.

“Was it realistic?” Katara asked. “Is that how it was back then?”

“I laugh at gravity all the time!” Aang said immediately, referencing the man’s ending line.

Zuko snorted. “You laugh at everything all the time, Aang.”

“Well, so did the other airbenders. There used to be a running tab to see how many times you could get a pie to land on someone’s head! But it only worked if they actually got pied, if they spotted it and deflected, you didn’t get the points. Monk Gyastso won every week.”

That… hadn’t been in any of the plays Zuko was thinking of. Except… maybe that one scene in ‘As the Wind Follows’… that had been a pudding, but maybe it had been inspired by the pie thing.  Zuko was just about to ask when the man showed up with his hat, obnoxiously shaking it in front of a half-dozing Sokka. The teen scrambled in his pockets, but all of them knew exactly what he would find. Or wouldn’t find. They’d spent the last of their money at the Fire Nation Festival, and had been too busy running from Zhao since to try and pick up odd jobs.

Anything but fishing.

The man walked away with a disgusted grumble and Zuko couldn’t help but a feel a pang of guilt. Mom had campaigned for funding to be channeled to the dramatic arts back home, knowing first hand how hard it was to make a living. Here, they didn’t even charge tickets, relying wholly on the tips of their listeners. Zuko wished he could give something, but he owned almost nothing, and could not spare anything he did.

Aang jumped up and followed the man, thanking him for the story. Zuko watched as Katara and Sokka bickered about their nonexistent funds. It should be fine, they should be able to survive off of what they had until they reached the Northern Water Tribe, and hopefully they would be generous to their tribesmen and the Avatar… and Zuko would get stuff by association.

Suddenly Aang was there, moving so quickly that Zuko hadn’t seen him shift, eyes wide and smile so huge that it seemed to split his face like a alli-pelican. “Guys, they say the airbenders last week. They must have- some of my people survived! I’m not the last airbender after all! WOO HOO!”

In his excitement, the boy created a tornado under him and shot into the sky, cheering all the while.

One of the other story patrons gasped. “A giant parrot!”

______________________

“We’re almost to the Northern Air Temple!” Aang said as Appa floated past yet another identical mountaintop. Excitement threaded every syllable the boy spoke, and he was practically vibrating in his seat. “This is where they had the championships!”

Zuko squinted, though he was always squinting now. Aang had never pushed Appa to go this fast before, and as they got closer the air bison seemed to just keep going faster, the wind on their ride was much more intense than the risers were prepared for after weeks or months of fairly sedate flying with occasional bursts of speed. “The… pie throwing championships?”

“No!” Aang laughed. “For sky bison polo.” The boy launched into a well-detailed explanation that was ignored by all of his passengers.

“Do you think we’ll really find airbenders?” Katara asked Sokka, but her face was filled with hope rather than the concern and dread filling Zuko’s stomach.

“You want me to be like you, or totally honest?” Sokka asked.

“Are you saying I’m a liar?” Katara asked, affronted.

“I’m saying you’re an optimist. Same thing basically.”

She huffed and turned to the boy who had said hardly a word since Aang had made his announcement. “What do you think Zuko?” She asked, as though expecting him to be on her side.

He wished he could be. “My people are very… thorough, Katara. If Fire Lord Sozin saw them as a threat… well, neither he nor any Firelord after him were known for doing things part way.” Nor for showing mercy.

The girl cast an anxious look at Aang, pain creasing her face. In attempt to just, get rid of that look, Zuko allowed. “Although… they were nomads. How can I say that they didn’t miss a couple who were off… doing couple things. In a hundred years you could have as many as four or five generations easily. There uh, there’s a chance.”

Sokka sent him a look while Katara’s smile returned. Zuko scowled in response and looked down. Nothing that he’d said was false. It was just that… well his people were very thorough. They’d killed the last of the dragons, spiritual creatures blessed to be the first Fire Benders. If they’d managed to hunt down each and every one of them, Zuko feared that the Air Nomads hadn’t been much trouble. He shouldn’t have said anything. He’d spent too long with dwindling-nonexistent hope, he’d forgotten how much it hurt to be disappointed.

Except, maybe they wouldn’t be disappointed.

“Hey guys, look!” Aang shouted, and gleefully pointed at an impossibility.

They could see the air temple in the distance, and it was absolutely surrounded by flying figures, figures larger than any giant parrot. People. Airbenders.

His people had failed.

If Zuko hadn’t become so much a traitor, that thought wouldn’t be bringing him so much job, but looking at Aang’s face he couldn’t find it in himself to feel anything else.

Katara gasped in wonder. “They really are airbenders!”

“No they’re not.” Aang argued, his excitement having drained with starling speed. The boy crossed his arms and settled petulantly against the Bison’s head.

“What do you mean?” Sokka demanded. “Those guys are flying!”

“Gliding maybe.” Aang said angrily. “But not flying. You can tell by the way they move.”

Zuko squinted at the figures and could kind of see what Aang was talking about. “They’re all going the same paths.” He realized suddenly.  “They’re riding air currents.”

“Riding them, not creating them.” Aang agreed. “They’re not airbending. Those people have no spirit.”

Zuko caught movement out of the corner of his eye and hit the deck, grabbing a protesting Sokka and dragging his with him, though Katara was too far away at the front of the saddle. The pair had barely hit the ground when suddenly  cart glided inches from where there heads had been, a boy in green laughing merrily as he flew past. Zuko popped up with a scowl, punching out a firebending move that should have served as a warning shot just as close as the strangers dive had been. It would have, at least, if he could produce anything more than a weak-looking puff of smoke.

Sokka pat Zuko on the back awkwardly as Katara turned back to the Avatar. “I don’t know, Aang. That kid seems pretty spirited to me.”

The kid swung back up by Appa’s head, sending Aang a look, and suddenly Aang’s face morphed into a competitive smirk the likes of which Zuko had never seen on the boy’s face, and he immediately jumped off the bison, his staff growing it’s sails as he chased after the glider.

“Great. Yeah, just, go after the stranger, Aang. Great idea.” Zuko grumbled, and Sokka laughed at him.

“You’re just grumpy cause the guy didn’t notice your fire-poof.”

“It’s a good thing he didn’t notice my bending. He’s Earth Kingdom, it would have been bad for us. I shouldn’t have even tried.” Zuko grumbled, and looked away so that he didn’t have to acknowledge that it wasn’t the bending that had upset him. It’s was Aang’s face just before he jumped into the sky. It was an expression that Zuko had never seen before, but one that fit the child so well. How many times had he made it in the past? Flown circles around the other child-monks in the temples, played games with people who could actually keep up.

How much had his people actually taken from him.

Luckily, the teen was momentarily broken from his thoughts when two close-flying gliders got too close to Appa’s nose and the bison jerked back, jolting the trio in the saddle.

"We need to get to some land before it get’s to us first." Sokka said once they’d settled, and Zuko happily jumped to steer the bison to the temple, anything to keep his mind focused on anything else. Anything beyond how good it looked to see Aang racing the glider.

It wasn’t much of a race. Aang had a freedom of movement that the glider simply couldn’t accomplish, running along walls and using is air sphere where the earth kingdom boy was much more restricted. Though, using smoke to create a caricature of Aang was a decent comeback. Still, when Aang landed beside Katara and Sokka there was something impossible to decipher in his expression.

The earth kingdom teen landed shortly after, skidding halfway across the platform before stopping, and immediately other children came forward to remove the wings and tops of the cart, though it became clear that the boy wouldn’t be getting out of the cart itself as he expertly wheeled himself over to the trio.

What followed was a lot of geeking out. The kid, Teo apparently, geeked out about the airbending and Avatar-ness, Sokka geeked out about the gliding chair. Zuko geeked out about nothing and tried very hard not to see ghosts in every corner. Teo led them through the temple, and Zuko had to fight to keep his face from screwing up. It wasn’t bad, per say, but with the plays and Uncle’s teachings, he’d pictured the nomad’s temples as things of beauty, clean and simple. This was… not that. There were pipes filling so much space that the lines were hard to follow with his eyes, and the walls had become an odd off-grey color. Some of the pipes even bisected reliefs and carvings and sculptures, creating ugly holes and cracks in the likely once-beautiful designs.

It was… sad.

Probably a lot sadder for Aang. Zuko realized when the boy flatly refused to share in Teo' pride and Sokka’s wonder. Zuko followed when Aang walked away, placing a hand on the younger boy’s shoulder. Aang cast him a weak attempt at a smile as he walked him over to a large mural that had probably been stunning before it was stained with soot and marred by piping. Katara came on the boy’s other side and offered her silent support as well. “This is supposed to be the history of my people.” Aang said mournfully, gesturing at the images on monks and bison still faintly visible. One figure had even been decapitated by an extremely disrespectful pipe placement.

He wandered over to a stylized statue of a bison, the fountain now filled with disgusting polluted refuse. A plume of dark, sick looking smog burst from the statues mouth, making Aang jump back in disgust.

Zuko twitched awkwardly. “Do you want me to yell at someone? I’m really really good at it.” He offered.

Aang’s answering smile was a little less weak this time. “No, it… you don’t have to do that.”

“If that changes, let me know.”

“I will. Thanks.”

Katara, still on this bizzarely-nice kick, sent Zuko a wide smile before turning back to Aang. “I’m sure some parts of the temple are still the same.”

“Maybe. Hey, Teo! Are there any parts of the temple that haven’t been… changed like this?”

The boy, who had been deeply entrenched with Sokka about… something, scrunched his face in thought  before brightening. “Yeah! There are some platforms in the east side of the temple that are kinda tricky to get to so we haven’t done much with them! I can show you the way if you want.”

Zuko sneered, anger and guilt melting in his stomach uncomfortably. That mural was just as stained with smoke dust and ash as it was ruined by pipes. His people had brought this pain to Aang just as much as these squatters did. He’d already realized that this war was wrong, that they shouldn’t be fighting, be decimating like they were. Was it so much of a leap to think that it had never been right? It was hard to think anything else at the moment. He was furious that Aang had lost so much, and felt horrendous guilt knowing that his people had a part to play. But Sozin wasn’t here. This kid, this trespasser was. “I’m sure Aang knows this place far better than you. We don’t need a guide.”

Sokka cast him a surprised, reproachful look as Teo flinched back physically from the vitriol in Zuko’s voice, the venom in his words. The look Aang sent was understanding, almost grateful, but he shook his head. “It’s okay, Zuko. I’m- I’m upset but this isn’t Teo’s fault.” No, it was the Fire Nations’. His peoples’. His. “We would be honored if you could show us the way.”

Teo sent a hesitant smile at the boy, but still watched Zuko carefully until Katara cut in. “Sorry about Zuko. He’s just really protective of Aang.”

“I am not!” Zuko protested hotly.

“No, of course not.” Sokka mocked, having gotten over his shock. “You just singlehandedly snuck into a Fire Nation stronghold for him.”

“I mean, that-“

“And risked getting arrested by the Fire Nation to get him a teacher.”

“I just wanted Fire Flakes.”

“And you-“

“Enough! I get it.” He grumbled, and Teo laughed.

“It’s okay.” The boy said with a easy casualness. “I can understand being protective of someone. It isn’t a big deal, I forgive you. I don’t like to be mad at people anyway.”

Zuko squinted at him. “Are you sure you’re not an airbender?”

Aang laughed. “Maybe some of our philosophies have rubbed off on you just by living here.”

Teo grinned back. "Well, I wouldn’t mind that. The airbenders seemed awesome. How about this, you can tell me all about them on our way to the eastern platforms.”

“Only if you tell me how you guys ended up here in the first place.”

____________

Zuko trailed slightly behind the group and tried very hard to look as not-Fire-Nation as possible as Teo led them through the winding corridors. They were refugees, of course they were refugees. Every time you see Earth Kingdom people in weird places, it was because they were refugees fleeing the war. Which meant that his people were not only the whole reason this place got abandoned, it was also the reason why it had gotten reinhabited, why even this last spot of the Air Nomads was being changed and destroyed.

“It’s nice to see at least one part of the temple that isn’t ruined." Aang said happily as they made their way into a courtyard.

There were wooden doors surrounding the area, likely dorms, and a few noble and peaceful statues acting as guardians. Aang stared at one of the statues with the first hint of peace that had crossed his face since they’d landed. Zuko was about to ask Aang about the figure’s history when suddenly a loud voice yelled lookout, and the statue was destroyed right in front of Aang’s eyes.

Out of the dust stepped a man with the worst haircut Zuko had ever seen (and he’d tried to do a bald phoenix plume after his injury). “What the doodle?” The man asked, and Zuko was even more certain that he did not like him. “Don’t you know better than to be in an active construction zone? We have to make room for the bathhouse.”

“Do you know what you just did?” Aang asked, voice filled with a passionate fury that sent shivers down Zuko’s spine. “You just destroyed something sacred. For a stupid bathhouse!” He cried, anger so intense that his voice broke.

The man seemed entirely oblivious, “Well, people around here are starting to stink.” As though that was the important point.

“This whole place stinks!” Aang shrieked, sending a gust of wind to push the destruction machine off the mountain face. “This is a sacred temple. You can’t treat it this way. I know what it’s supposed to be like.”

“The monks?” The man asked. “But, you’re twelve.”

“Dad, he’s the Avatar.” Teo responded. “He used to be here a hundred years ago.”

“What are you doing? Who said you could do this?” Aang asked, his fury not abated in the least. “Just because you’re refugees, doesn’t mean you can destroy something sacred. Destroy history.”

The man wove a tale that would have been heart rendering, had he not said it in such a ridiculous way, and had he not been completely oblivious to the anger that was only building in Aang as he spoke of ‘improvement’ and ‘progress’. The distracted man soon had his attention pulled away as he realized the time, dismissing his conversation with Aang as though that would clear him of the repercussions.

Zuko attempted to smile at Aang. “Looks like I’m not the only one whose good at yelling.”

The boy grimaced. “Yeah, I kind of lost my temper.”

“That isn’t always a bad thing, Aang. Maybe he’ll be more careful with this place now that he knows how important it is.”

The airbender perked. “Yeah, maybe!”

Teo rolled up to them. “Hey, Aang, I want to show you something.”

The boy looked hesitant, but nodded. Zuko looked up, but Sokka had already wandered off with weird dude so he shrugged. Might as well stick with the airbender. Aang needed all of the help that he could get.  

[ba-mi-soro-orisha]

What books are on your nightstand?

“All the Stars and Teeth,” by Adalyn Grace; “Ninth House,” by Leigh Bardugo; “The Last Arrow,” by Erwin Raphael McManus. I always have an itch for great fantasy, which Grace and Bardugo provide. And I’m always interested in self-development and books that feed my soul like “The Last Arrow.”

What’s the last great book you read?

“Daring Greatly,” by Brené Brown! I was really moved by her Netflix special, and listening to her audiobook came at the perfect time in my life. She has a way of perfectly describing some of the most intimate human emotions and experiences, and she provides concrete, actionable solutions. She gave me a new level of self-awareness that’s helped me navigate my life in a meaningful way, so I’m a big fan.

Are there any classic novels that you only recently read for the first time?

Recently, no. The vast majority of American classics were ruined for me because schools made me read them too young. If I remember correctly, I think I had to read “Self-Reliance,” by Ralph Waldo Emerson, in seventh grade. I remember reading “Death of a Salesman” in high school and hating it, but when I read it in college I loved it. I was blown away by what Arthur Miller had created. Because of that, I’m saving my reread of the classics for a time when life isn’t too crazy and I can focus. I want to make sure if I don’t like what society has deemed a classic story, it’s because I don’t like the actual story, and not because I didn’t understand it when I was 12.

Describe your ideal reading experience (when, where, what, how).

My ideal reading experience is on the beach, under an umbrella, with my Kindle, and with a tasty drink and snack by my side.

What’s your favorite book no one else has heard of?

I don’t think I have one? I’m a pretty basic person. I’m not even cool enough to like niche anime. Everything I gravitate to is pretty well known because they are such amazing stories.

If I had to pick one, I’d say most of my younger readers probably aren’t familiar with “The Souls of Black Folk,” by W. E. B. DuBois, and most of my older readers probably aren’t familiar with “Six of Crows,” by Leigh Bardugo.

What book should everybody read before the age of 21?

“The Poet X,” by Elizabeth Acevedo. It’s a stunning story told in verse about a young Dominican poet learning to use her voice and take up space. I think as we grow up and start to discover who we are, we also have to discover what we want to say. Then we have to get comfortable saying it. I think this is the kind of story that makes you feel strong when you’re reading it, and then you can lean on that strength when you need to use your voice and take up space in your real life.

Which writers — novelists, playwrights, critics, journalists, poets — working today do you admire most?

For novelists, I’m a forever-fan of Sabaa Tahir. Her debut fantasy — “An Ember in the Ashes” — was the epic tale that inspired me to write “Children of Blood and Bone.” It moved me in ways a story hadn’t moved me before and gave me a chance to imagine a fantasy world with characters I’d never gotten to see before.

For journalists, Shaun King. The work Shaun does for the black community is incredible. I respect his strength, tenacity and passion, and I admire him deeply for the commitment to getting our stories out.

For critics, I think YouTubers like Cosmonaut Variety Hour and Alex Meyers? I get a lot of entertainment from their television and movie reviews, and also get refreshers on good storytelling.

What writers are especially good on adolescent life?

Angie Thomas, Nic Stone and Jason Reynolds!

How do you distinguish Y.A. books from adult fiction?

Honestly, the main difference to me is how quickly I’m captured and transported into the story. I find the best young adult novels have all the best parts of adult fiction — the extensive world-building, the complex characters, the beautiful prose — layered over a fast-paced, exciting plot. Most of the adult fiction I read takes its time building to the climax.

Which young adult books would you recommend to people who don’t usually read Y.A.?

I always recommend “An Ember in the Ashes” and “Six of Crows” after one of my readers has finished “Children of Blood and Bone.” I find those three fantasies crossover really well and help hook people into reading other young adult books.

What’s the most interesting thing you learned from a book recently?

That you’re not supposed to fight your anxiety, you’re supposed to fight the things that are causing your anxiety by setting better boundaries for yourself and for others. That’s one of the golden nuggets in “Daring Greatly.”

Which genres do you especially enjoy reading? And which do you avoid?

I love a good romance! I’m always game for young adult fantasy and sci-fi. I want to read more adult books, contemporary books and poetry. And sadly, I avoid nonfiction. When I read, I like to go somewhere else in my mind with stories that touch our real world without taking place in it.

What makes for a good fantasy novel?

I think the most magical fantasies will always be the ones with a world you want to live in forever. For example, I think we loved Harry Potter, but we were in love with Hogwarts. We all wanted to go to class with him. We all wanted our own wands. I think great worlds are important because they allow readers to play in that world with their imagination long after the book is done, but a great world isn’t complete without a great protagonist.

What moves you most in a work of literature?

Acts of love. Be it familial, friendly or romantic. A beautifully described, tender act of love destroys me.

How do you organize your books?

ORIGINAL STORIES: I have a lot of the stories I wrote when I was young on my Kindle — they are hilarious and incredible and always funny to read.

BOOKS ON WRITING: I always want to be a better writer/storyteller than I am now. I love books and YouTube videos that break down the art of story.

FICTION: Most of my library is Y.A., so this is where my “I’m an adult” fiction goes.

SCI-FI: Though I’m a child of fantasy, my interest in the stars and spaceships is growing.

FANTASY: Includes all the great franchises of the past and all the exciting, diverse stories that are being published today.

Who is your favorite fictional hero or heroine? Your favorite antihero or villain?

Antiheroes: Zuko, from “Avatar: The Last Airbender”; Logan, from “X-Men”; Kaz Brekker, from “Six of Crows.” Villains: Light Yagami, from “Death Note,” and Magneto, from “X-Men.” I guess my Slytherin is showing, because I love my antiheroes and my villains more than my heroes.

What kind of reader were you as a child? Which childhood books and authors stick with you most?

I was a voracious reader when I was young. I lived for the summer reading challenges where I could read 50 books and get like three Airheads at the end of August. The authors and books that worked themselves into my heart were Mary Pope Osborne and her Magic Tree House series, J. K. Rowling and Harry Potter, Masashi Kishimoto and “Naruto.” I consider myself a creative child of fantasy and anime.

How have your reading tastes changed over time?

My Kindle is loaded up with several of the stories I wrote as a girl and as a teenager. It’s wild reading them now because I vaguely remember the nights and weekends I stayed up writing these tales, and I see the plots and character types that I’ve loved reading about and imagining since I was young.

I’ve always loved sweeping romances and magical fantasies. I’ve loved headstrong, determined female protagonists and epic battles. I still like to read the same things. I think the difference now is that I get to read all the things I like with characters who look like me. My childhood stories didn’t give me that. Even in the stories I wrote myself, I was only writing white characters and biracial characters. I didn’t realize it at the time, but that erasure was painful and damaging to my sense of self. So getting to create and read stories that fight that erasure and build on my sense of self is the only significant change in my reading tastes.

You’re organizing a literary dinner party. Which three writers, dead or alive, do you invite?

Oprah Winfrey, Octavia E. Butler and Toni Morrison. I would be extremely uncomfortable in the midst of all that greatness, and I probably wouldn’t speak. But while stuffing my face with little lobster rolls, I would get to learn from and be inspired by those three incredible women.

Whom would you want to write your life story?

Honestly, me, because I’m a perfectionist. But I don’t think I’m the best person to write my story because while I have a unique take on my story, I also lack a lot of necessary perspectives that would be needed to write an accurate life story. I’m going to cheat this one and say I would like Shonda Rhimes to do a highly dramatized mini-series of my life story.

What do you plan to read next?

“Blood Heir,” by Amélie Wen Zhao. I’ve heard really great things. I’m excited to check it out!

[firenationember]

Destruction, Everywhere (OC Fic)

2/?

Previous Chapter

What started as a begrudging agreement turned into an enjoyable adventure, filled with enough mad bloodbenders and hallucinations to last a lifetime, and the group quickly won me over.

It didn’t take Sokka long to warm up to me; he asked me how I felt about helping the Avatar, knowing it was Aang’s destiny to stop Fire Lord Ozai and bring balance to the world. “Being a firebender doesn’t mean I agree with my nations policies. It also doesn’t change the fact that I will always be a firebender.” It wasn’t long after that that Sokka began including me in jokes as if I were always around. Katara wouldn’t leave my side at first, telling me about anything she deemed important that’s happened on their journey so far. Toph was the easiest to get along with, maybe because she was never afraid to speak her mind and I respected that about her. Aang was a quick learner, catching up with my firebending skills in a short time. Even after it became obvious that he couldn’t learn more from me, I hesitated to break away from the group. After all, where would I go?

We all usually trained in the same space together, Sokka yelling the occasional sarcastic words of encouragement while he practiced his sword fighting. Toph would only join when she felt like we were being “too easy” on Aang. “C’mon twinkletoes, let’s show em how real bending looks.”

Even though I started to see the group as my friends, I kept a lot to myself. Katara liked to talk about her family, Aang his old friends, all the old inside jokes they have thanks to Sokka and Toph. I don’t like to talk about my life, and as friendly as everyone was, I knew I couldn’t travel with them forever. Around the same time Aang and I hit a wall in our firebending lessons, Chief Hakoda showed up with the support and reinforcements Sokka asked him to help round up for his invasion plan.

I told myself I’d stick around long enough to help with the invasion on the day of the Black Sun, a day as dark as its namesake. Everything crumbled and fell apart, holes in the plan nobody could have seen coming. We ended up getting stuck, either embracing surrender or death. Hakoda and the other adults agreed to take the blame to allow us to get away. Sokka wanted to join them, not wanting them to suffer for his plan, but Hakoda insisted that we needed to stick together if we were going to help Aang defeat Fire Lord Ozai. He was right, of course.

We arrived at the Western Air Temple, Aang suggesting it as the best place for us to regroup and figure out our next step. Aang was showing us around the air temple while Sokka complained about wasting “precious world saving planning time” when Zuko showed up to offer his support to Aang as a firebending teacher.

“Hello, Zuko here.” Zuko’s typically fierce, angry tone was gone and replaced with a lighter one while he gave us a small wave. I bit my lip to keep from laughing, not sure what else to do in that moment. Appa roared in his face, before sniffing him, deeming the banished prince worthy of a lick.

“She already has a teacher, pal, and that’s Draya!” Sokka replied, cockiness heavy in his voice. The expression on the banished prince’s face as his golden eyes found me bounced from confusion to wonder to disappointment. The others made it clear that we couldn’t trust him, for so many valid reasons. There was something about the sincerity in his voice, the softness on his face, that made me believe him though. It was something he said before leaving that stuck with me, “I’m trying to explain that I’m not that person anymore!”. He left, after Katara threw water at him, and I realized that I had to help him so that he could help Aang.

We were sitting around the campfire after unpacking our sleeping bags, enjoying the first moment we’ve had to sit and talk together in days. The conversation found its way back to Zuko, emotions flying from the siblings before Katara said something that brought my attention back to the conversation and away from tending to the fire. “He starts talking about his mother and making it seem like he’s an actual human being with feelings.”

“He wants you to trust him and feel sorry for him so you can let your guard down, then he strikes.” Sokka said, anger clear in his tone.

“The thing is, it worked. I did feel sorry for him. I felt like he was really confused and hurt. But obviously when the time came, he made his choice and we paid the price.” Anger found its way to Katara’s voice too, and it became obvious to me that I was the only one willing to give Zuko a chance. At least, until Aang told us how Zuko saved his life when (then) Commander Zhao captured him.

“It sounds like he’s been trying to do good for a while then, maybe he was telling the truth earlier and he’s really trying to change.” I decide to say, quickly realizing my mistake when Katara directed her angry glare at me. I could see the irate tears threatening to slip out.

“His father led an army that invaded our village, killing my mother. I know you joined our group late, but he has been after us this entire time, hunting us down at no cost to capture Aang. He stole my mother’s necklace and used it to track us. We can’t trust him.” I didn’t know how to respond, especially because I knew Katara was right. The words that spilled out of my mouth next surprised us all the same.

“His father led an army that attacked my village too, burning it down in its entirety, killing my family and everything I knew.” My eyes widened as I clamped my mouth shut, realizing this was the first fact about myself that I’ve shared with them. Katara’s features softened as she looked at me, giving me the courage to keep talking, only to bury the information I just said. “You’re right that I don’t know what it’s like to have him hunt me down, thankfully he was already trying to better himself when I joined. I’m sorry I ever said anything.” I refused to look at anyone, not wanting to open up any more than I already have.

“Sooo how are firebending lessons going Aang? Draya?” The sound of my name causes me to look at Sokka, sighing at his question, thankful that he acknowledged the need for a topic change. I knew I had to leave the group; I knew I couldn’t be the firebending teacher the Avatar needs. How do I tell them that, though?

“They’re going really well! I don’t know if I would’ve been able to get out of that as fast as I did without surprising Azula with my firebending once the sun came back.” Aang smiled over at me, causing me to reluctantly smile back. I was suddenly afraid my words would betray me.

“I’m going for a walk.” I got up rapidly to leave and paused, looking down at the airbender boy. “Can I borrow Appa to fly up, please? I could use a change of scenery right now.” He smiled at me and nodded in response. After a small bow, I walked towards the flying bison. I had to look at the stars instead of the earth surrounding us. It was becoming suffocating.

“Hey, firecracker!” Tophs’ footsteps were skillfully quiet as she came up behind me, her nickname for me causing me to stop and turn around. She stopped in front of me and said, quiet enough for only me to hear, “Look it’s not that I doubt your abilities to teach twinkletoes how to firebend, but I know you do. If you find Zuko out there… well, I’ll have your back no matter what.” Toph’s surprisingly kind tone took me by surprise, and I wasn’t sure how to respond. “I’m going to assume by your silence that you’re smiling, but I wouldn’t know. I can’t see it.” Toph smiled at her own joke and it made me laugh.

“Thank you Toph. That means a lot to me.” The earthbender waved in response before bounding back to the others, excited to join their conversation.

“I hope she’s okay.” Katara’s voice is the last thing I hear as I climbed up on Appa, desperate for the night sky.

Chapter 3

[lgcmax]

𝐖𝐄𝐋𝐋 𝐇𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐎 ! i’m coming to you with a very late intro, i know, but i swear i’m not usually this unprepared !! anyways, my name is jada, and this is my chaotic baby maxwell “ MAX ” choi ! i love him to death already and can’t wait to start writing with him ! i was here long ago with the short-lived yet beloved zhao chenglei, but life got in the way ! the two are very different, yet i’m even more stoked to be here the second time around & get things going ! i did create him kind of spontaneously, so his plots & bio page is still wip, but you can find his profile here, and some trivia & plot bunnies below ! oh, and LIKE THIS if you’d like to plot, maybe ? i’ll stop talking now, but i hope to hear from you soon !

𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘 !

first generation canadian who hails from toronto, canada ! a snow baby forever and always, he loved living there and has nothing but good memories there !

he was born maxwell choi, and he’s still called that by family and some old friends, but once he got to middle school he felt the name was too fancy and wasn’t fitting so dropped the “well” and just became MAX !

though he’s canadian, he’s never really felt he was lacking in terms of his korean identity ! both his parents were born and raised there, korean is actually his first language, and he was taught english through school. since he was two he’s been going to korea for the summer to visit his family, too,  so he’s always felt really connected to his culture !

his dad’s a car salesman at his own dealerhsip, and his mom’s an attorney, so he’s lived a really comfortable life. it’s easy to see where his charisma comes from, too ! growing up his dad was more involved in his upbringing, while his mom was on the colder side, so he’s closer to him as he’s the one who was the most loving toward him then and now !

he was expected to take over his dad’s position at the dealership when he was older, but as he grew up he noticed his absolute lack of passion for the career. he thought it fit his dad well, yet couldn’t see him doing something like that !

but during his teenage years he discovered his love for rap ! he always loved listening to it, but when he started rapping along he discovered his true passion.

he didn’t really know what to do with that, however, as it wasn’t a very stable career ! it wasn’t until 2016 when he met someone online through a video game & they became friends that things changed ! they would talk a lot & eventually they introduced him to the world of kpop and ... boom ! everything changed for him. when he realized it wasn’t all girls in frilly skirts ( which hey, wasn’t too bad either ) he found himself being engulfed in this entirely new music genre !

fast forward all the way to 2019, when he auditioned for the company ! it was in january, and there was no way he thought he was gonna make it. they were giving out cds to those who auditioned, and he really just wanted to hear some haru, but it was quite literally the biggest surprise of his life when he got accepted !

his mom was enitrely, and i mean e n t i r e l y, against the idea. she thought a career in the idol industry was fleeting and not profitable and thought it was an embarrassment for him to be apart of. while his father wasn’t thrilled and still has hopes for him to inherit the dealership, he was content seeing his son happy and hoped for his success.

so off max went, to the big city of seoul !! unlike some foreign trainees it wasn’t some great transition for him, in fact he adjusted pretty well ! he had the benefit of being well-travelled and having visited the country often, as well as being comfortable in his korean.

it wasn’t all peaches and roses, however, and he did have some difficulty ! it was the first time he was coming to stay, so he had a tendency to get homestick, and despite everything, he still stuck out. he had a lot of mannerisms, style choices, and just obvious indicators he was a foreigner. he also had to finish off the last semester of his senior year in korea, and he was bummed he missed out on those senior year experiences like graduation, senior parties, and just being with the people he’d grown up with !

whenever he was having trouble, he couldn’t really call home either, since he knew they doubted him and didn’t want to give them any more reason to ! he’s not really the type to share when he’s feeling down, so he really internalized a lot of his emotions at the time, and the bit that he didn’t he confided in with his few friends he’d made by then. definitely a bit of a rough patch for him !

he also may have had some trouble getting along with trainees ! he has a very blunt & extroverted personality, which didn’t really fit with typical korean social norms !

 aside from that, max was a LOT more chill than some of these people. he was passionate about rapping, but some trainees were “debut-or-die” level and he just wasn’t that far ! he’d just kind of look at them like .... why are you making this such a big deal ? i’m just here to have fun ?? so he had a tendency to slack off a lot during the first few months of training and try to bend the rules as much as he could behind the trainer’s backs without getting caught ! which i can imagine would get on some trainee’s nerves.

he does go to university, a condition by his parents for letting him go to korea. he’s a music production major and marketing minor at the moment, but he’s changed his mind quite a few times ! honestly, he’s not all that interested in attending school, but doesn’t have much of a choice and knows it’s an important backup should this whole idol thing not work ! he does enjoy the social life he gets from it, though, because he would’ve had a much harder time adjusting and meeting friends had he not been in school.

now, he’s still pretty sluggish, but after a few company punishments, he’s shaping up and learning how to work harder. he just passed his year anniversary training with the company, and though he has a lot to learn he’s showed promise in his time there !

𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘 !

very extroverted !!! and he always has been. he feels really comfortable and large environments and is the main reason he thrives as an idol ! can and will pick up a conversation with just about anyone, particularly those who aren’t like him but rather on the more introverted spectrum !

like stated before, he doesn’t really like talking about his emotions if they’re personal / negative. it makes him uncomfortable & awkward and thinks it makes everyone else feel that way too, so avoids it like the plague. if he’s emotional with you ... you’re a keeper !

tends to make light out of every scenario, due to his optimistic nature. he has the mentality that life’s too short to be stressed, so does his best to avoid it whenever he gets the chance ! it can be appropriate at times, and sometimes people perceive it as him not taking things seriously, but really he’s trying to make things better !

a little cocky, considering his lack of experience. he kind of thinks he’s the s***, and he honestly could use a little more humility ! but he’s used to being held on this sort of pedestal, and because of it has a looot of confidence a lot of the time !

very loyal, once you befriend him he’s yours for life ! he values trust and longevity in a friendship, so does his all to give it to you. on the other hand, if you lose his trust, things .... get a little disastrous. he isn’t one to forgive something like that and will quite literally block someone out his life if they do break his trust.

on that note ... he’s also very stubborn !! he likes things the way he wants them, and can hold a grudge for years if he wants to. this is one of the exceptions to his “ hakuna matata ” mentality lmao, but he’s working on it ! he used to have trouble accepting criticism from trainers if he didn’t agree with them, but is slowly getting better at listening to feedback in order to improve.

tends to be a little manipulative ! he doesn’t mean to use it maliciously, but it does sometimes go like that. like i said, he’s got that desire to win other’s over to get what he wants like his parents, so ... that can translate into a little deception !

loves loves loves video games !!! will talk about them all day, if you ask. he’s been hooked ever since the first time he got a controller in his hand and is always looking for some new gaming buddies !

has a secret tiktok account that he can’t really publicize but people have to know ?? he just renegades too good not to have some practice folks

he compulsively says “ let’s get it ” and “ boom ” like the joke he is and it’s a problem, really !! someone please call him out or just .... stop him

also !! he is entirely too CLUMSY for his good. he trips over people, trips over his own limbs, trips over a i r !! there’s just no telling with this guy. he’s so stupid when it comes to coordination, i swear, i almost worry he needs to see a doctor lmao !! but thank god for his clumsiness coming in handy at the exact moment he needs to have a little humility.

𝐏𝐋𝐎𝐓𝐒 !

the friend he played video games with who introduced him to kpop ( see above ) !! they’ve been friends for roughly 3 years now and they’re the reason he even considered pursuing a career as an idol, so i imagine they’ve grown pretty close ! since they played online, this person doesn’t have to be from canada, and really any muse that knew korean or english well enough to communicate back then ! 

are there any canadian muses ?? i’m not sure ! if there is, i’d love to have some childhood friends who he grew up with ! give me all the angst, softness, or romance that you can muster up !! i love a good backstory.

some friends who he spent the summers in korea with ! he visited june through august of every year, and sometimes spent other holiday breaks there. so there’s definitely a chance for them to grow close ! maybe even a short-lived romance where they hadn’t expected to meet again ??

a senior / older trainee who showed max the ropes ! while he knew a good deal about korea he didn’t have a clue about being a trainee, so definitely could’ve used a bit of help there !! unintentionally this person became a sort of parental figure to max, even if they didn’t mean to or if they’re not significantly older ! either way, they were his first real source of support since the move, and nowadays he’s still very close to them and looks to them for any sort of help or advice he needs !

pleeeeease give him a little crush !! he goes out his way to impress those that he likes, and turns into a true softie !! on the other hand, a bitter exes plot or even exes on good terms could be fun too ! can you tell i’m a romantic yet ? 😥

someone who’s entirely put off by the thought of max ! someone who, unlike him, is planned, logical, or very cutthroat and passionate about becoming an idol ! give me someone to nitpick him for his lifestyle, and someone for him to bicker with and just create a little drama !! 

video game buddies !! he doesn’t have the whole setup like he used to back home, but he does nearly always have his switch on him if your muse is in the mood for a little friendly competition !! fair warning .... he does get competitive !

male dorm h and male rookie evening trainee group gang, let’s go !! that’s a lot to say, but in simple terms, if your muse trains or dorms with him let’s get something going ! max is still a new trainee and needs some friends to spend the long days with, he promises to  make it worth their while !! max has the power of making nearly every scenario entertaining, after all !

[futuristicallyspeedyparadise]

Insecure (Zhao Zi x Jack story)

Zhao Zi knew he was being a little irrational.

There was no reason to doubt Jack.

None.

Yet, watching Jack smile at the supermarket cashier boy was making his stomach twist in knots.

Zhao Zi was crouched down behind a pyramid of canned fruit. Clutching on to a can of peaches, he watched Jack pick up his bagged items, give the cashier a final grin and head off towards the exit. Hurriedly, he stepped away from the cans—surprising the person who had been examining them—paid for his items and began his journey home.

He hadn’t realized he would run into Jack at the supermarket. Zhao Zi had stopped to grab some ingredients to see if he could convince Jack to make dessert tonight; he had a sweet tooth today. When he had first spotted his boyfriend, he immediately began to walk towards him, grin in place. However, he stopped abruptly when he watched Jack laugh at something the cashier said.

At first, Zhao Zi hadn’t understood the heavy anchor that had suddenly dropped onto his chest. Nor did he understand the flash of irritability that had sparked. He didn’t understand why it made him angry to see Jack’s genuine smile given to someone else so freely.

After all, Zhao Zi had the privilege to know Jack beyond a four-minute encounter. He was a witness to Jack’s bedhead and sleepy morning smiles; heard the redhead’s hysterical laughter when they got into their tickle battles; felt his warmth and knew the softness of his lips. Zhao Zi came home to Jack every day, the redhead usually waiting for him with open arms and a cooked meal. He liked coming home to the man, feeling for the first time in a while that he had a family.

It had taken a little bit to get used to having Jack in his life and to grow comfortable with his affection and desire for him. It had only been a year ago that he had finally owned up to his feelings for Jack. Faced with the thought of never being able to see him again, Zhao Zi had quickly come to realize that the very thought of Jack slipping away from his life—as quickly as he had come—made the air leave his chest.

The night that he had asked Jack to stay fundamentally changed everything. At first, Zhao Zi had been a bit shy. When Jack moved in, he didn’t really initiate any physical intimacy and preferred for Jack to take the lead on such matters. His ears and cheeks usually burned after the heavy make-outs they often had in front of the television after dinner. No matter what they were watching, Jack would inevitably pull Zhao Zi onto his lap, bringing the smaller man to straddle his lap, and spent the next half hour exploring his mouth.

Zhao Zi had never fathomed how good it felt to be wanted.

When he got home from the supermarket, Jack had not yet arrived. He had told Zhao Zi in the morning that he would be running a couple of errands and would therefore be late.

Zhao Zi put away the items he had bought to make dessert and then headed upstairs to their bedroom. The room was brilliantly lit, the setting sun casting an orange glow across the space. He walked over to the dresser and grabbed the first t-shirt he saw. Zhao Zi liked to be comfortable; he believed that one of the best moments of the day was when he was finally able to shed the layers of clothes and slip into something simple and breathable. The t-shirt he had grabbed was Jack’s. It fell slightly big on him and covered his boxer-briefs.

Zhao Zi put his day clothes into the laundry basket and sat at his window seat. He brought his legs up to his chest, wrapped his arms around them, and lay his chin on his knees, staring down towards his front yard.

He had taken up wearing Jack’s shirts some time ago, enjoying how loose they were while lounging around the house. The first time he had worn them, Jack had come home and had immediately taken him to bed.

Zhao Zi remembered the moment clearly; he had watched Jack enter his yard from the window, heard his soft footsteps on the stairs, always agile and graceful, and had watched him cross their bedroom threshold. Jack had looked tired—he spent a lot of his free time consulting on gang murder cases now—but the moment he had looked at Zhao Zi and took in what he was wearing, the sleep swept from his eyes only to be replaced by something more carnal. He crossed the room, pulling Zhao Zi to him, and plundered his mouth. His hands dove into Zhao’s Zi’s hair and he kissed him deeply, almost desperately. Zhao Zi remembered the waves of pleasure and happiness that surged when Jack had moaned into his mouth and whispered, “I can’t believe your mine.”

This past year had been the happiest time in his life. Despite the initial bumps in the rode in which Zhao Zi had learned to slowly trust his heart, together they had built a comfortable home. They were a family and Zhao Zi couldn’t help but smile at the thought of it. Yet, he couldn’t stop himself from feeling trepidation. Was there such a thing as being too happy? How long would it last?

Hearing the keys downstairs, Zhao Zi stood from the window seat and raced down to meet his boyfriend. Jack stepped into the kitchen and turned his head to watch Zhao Zi’s hurried approach. He grinned, taking in Zhao Zi’s outfit. Placing the groceries on the counter, he turned his full attention to Zhao Zi, grabbing him by the hips and pulling him in to press their bodies together.

“Hey, shorty,” Jack murmured. He leant down to kiss Zhao Zi. “I missed you.”

Zhao Zi melted into the embrace. When Jack began to pull back, Zhao Zi reached up to hold his head in place, and captured his lips again. Was it possible that he had done something extraordinary in another life? It wasn’t possible for him to have deserved this. The privilege it was to feel so good and so safe in Jack’s arms.

He felt heat pooling as Jack moaned into the kiss and reached down to pick him up. Zhao Zi wrapped his legs around Jack’s waist as he was placed on the edge of the kitchen counter. Jack ran his fingers up Zhao Zi’s thighs and Zhao Zi shivered, a trail of goosebumps having been left in Jack’s wake.

Finally, he pulled back and looked at Jack whose gaze had gone heavy-lidded with pleasure.

“To what do I owe such a pleasant welcome?”

Zhao Zi blushed and averted his eyes. “I missed you.”

Jack grinned.

“Do you want to eat now or later,” he said nodding towards the groceries he left on the counter.

“Now!”

“Alright then,” Jack chuckled and started to move away to begin prepping the meal. But Zhao Zi couldn’t let him go. He trapped Jack in between his legs and prevented him from moving.

Jack quirked an eyebrow.

“Do you want to eat food, or did you desire something else to eat?”

Zhao Zi blushed.

“I…” he stammered but couldn’t get out a response. Why was it so difficult to speak?

Jack’s teasing smile softened, and his eyebrows knitted together. He brought one of the hands that had settled on Zhao Zi’s thighs up to his face, caressing it softly. “What’s wrong, Li An?”

“You don’t…like anyone else, right?”

Jack’s smile faltered.

“What I mean to say is…I’m…I’m the only one you look at, right? Like this?”

Jack frowned.

“Where is this coming from?”

Zhao Zi sighed. He felt stupid and insecure and stupid for feeling so insecure.  

“I went to the supermarket today. I saw you there…with the cashier…and I…the way you smiled at him…I don’t know…I didn’t like it.”

His statement was met with silence.

He peeked upwards and saw the grin on Jack’s face.

“What are you smiling at!” He huffed, getting ready to extricate himself from their embrace and storm off upstairs.

“You’re jealous.” Jack stated matter-of-factly, his grin widening even more. “You’re so jealous.”

“I’m not jealous! It’s just—”

“You are!”

“No! I’m not…I just—”

“C’mon, shorty. You can admit it.”

“It’s…I…You’re mine!” Zhao Zi finally blurted out. Then in a small voice, “Right?”

Jack’s grin softened and he pushed his forehead against Zhao Zi’s. “You’re right. I’m yours. Only yours, Zhao Zi. I don’t look at anyone else this way. I don’t want anyone else.”

Zhao Zi didn’t know how to respond. Somewhere in the back of his mind he already knew Jack was his. That despite being a liar throughout his life and a man of different faces, Jack would not lie to him. Not about this. And that his worries were stemming from an insecurity much deeper, and pervasive inside himself.

“I’m sorry,” Zhao Zi muttered.

Jack shook his head and brought a hand to Zhao Zi’s chin. He waited until Zhao Zi looked at him.

“Zhao Li An, I like you. I stayed here because of you. A year after that decision, I am still so fascinated by you. Still attracted to you. That hasn’t changed. It won’t.”

Jack nuzzled his nose. “OK?”

Zhao Zi smiled.

“OK.”

Also posted on AO3