#i didnt cry like this during my brothers help

[ellecdc]

Mother, im sitting here at 4am, eating mini easter eggs and ive had tge most brilliant idea!! (Inspired by @inkdrinkerworld 's fic)

Okay so, poly!moonwater and readers been having trouble sleeping due to tensions/problems with her pureblood family. As a result shes been taking more naps, but they arent restful. So reader were napping in Rems bed (the dungeons were too cold) but after a fitful 30 minutes she gets up groggy, sleep deprived and beyond frustrated. She stumbles her way down to the common room, pin point Sirius lounging across the couch and promptly throws herself down to cuddle with him and continue her nap. Everyone (minus Siri) is shook. Jamie even asks if she got the wrong person because Reggie was sitting over there (in which he got a one eyed death glare before she burrowed into Siris chest and passed out).

Now, what everybody else didnt know was that Siri had more or less adopted reader as his own (she remined him so much of Reggie, being her big brother was 2nd nature). And while Barty was her person, he was a little too crazy to be comforting in this situation ("y/n, i'll get rid of them for you. Its not hard to do so" "Barty, no."). And of course Siri nows how bad their kind of familys are so he'd been taking care of reader on the down low as an older brother would.

Bonus if Reggie then decides that looks warm and fuzzy and wants Siri cuddles too so he joins ( it took him so long to get to a point where he could let himself be vunerable enough to openly allow Siri to take care of him 😭)

aweeee poor reader. this ended up being way more serious than I thought it would be? like it's not funny at all, there's no humour (which feels odd to me, usually I can throw some jokes or banter in there) but plenty of hurt comfort???.......idk, I can't tell if this is any good, it feels very different from my usual pieces

poly!moonwater x fem!reader whose family sucks (but it's very Sirius-centric)

CW: mentions of insomnia, mentions of abusive families, making fun of only children (sorry), hurt/comfort

You were miserable to say the least; you couldn’t remember when the last time you had a restful sleep was, and nothing you did seemed to help.

The closer it got to the Winter Holidays, the more your mind seemed to spiral. Every time you began to relax, your heart pounded as if you’d accidentally leaned too far back in your chair, reminding you of your upcoming visit home. Every time you closed your eyes, you were bombarded with images of angry faces and violent curses being shot at you.

The Slytherin dungeons were too cold, and every time you found your way into Regulus’ dorm, Barty insisted on butting in, and though you appreciated his support, you couldn’t handle his threats promises to burn down your home with your parents in it. 

Remus and Regulus both suggested you perhaps talk to Madame Pomfrey about getting some dreamless sleep or sleeping draught, but you were too embarrassed to admit to your two overprotective boyfriends that you’ve used them so frequently during your life for this very reason that they had lost all efficacy. 

It had gotten to the point that you managed to get the most sleep in the library bent over the table with your face on your book whilst Remus and Regulus did their work (and sometimes yours), and that honestly left you feeling more painfully tired than you had been before your nap.

So, you were nearly falling asleep at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall over your chicken and roast potatoes when Remus gently nudged you and suggested you go lie down for a bit and you wanted to weep into your potatoes which was only slightly less embarrassing than sleeping in them, causing him and Regulus to bring you up to Gryffindor tower.

You’d kicked them both out of the Marauders’ dorm room after some time – Remus for snoring and Regulus because the sound of him turning the pages of his book was distracting you. He promised to stop reading, but then he breathed too loudly and you started crying.

You were overtired, emotional, and running on fumes.

You’d counted puffskeins, you’d had a warm glass of milk, you’d taken off articles of clothing and reconfigured your outfit numerous times (which was currently Remus’ jumper and no pants), and you’d tried every position imaginable to no avail. 

You think you might have perhaps gotten five minutes of sleep before you woke up with a start, a barely repressed scream grating through your teeth.

Feeling disturbingly weepy and no less groggy from your horrid sleep, you pulled on a pair of your sweatpants and grabbed the throw blanket from the end Remus’ bed before trudging down the stairs to the common room.

“You should have seen the look on Filch’s face- oh! Hi Y/N!” James called as you made your way over to the three-seater and stood over the black-haired boy currently occupying it.

“Oh, Trouble.” He cooed sympathetically at you before kicking his feet out, laying back, and opening his arms for you to join him. You quickly climbed on top of him, and he tucked you in between the back of the sofa and his side, bending your knee so that your thigh rested on top of his, and pulled the blanket over the two of you.

You let out a shaky sigh and felt the first few tears fall from your eyes and onto Sirius’ chest.

“Uhm...” James said loudly, looking over to both Regulus and Remus cuddled in a large plush chair from his place on the loveseat with Lily like ‘are you seeing this right now?’. “I think you’ve got the wrong wizard there, L/N.” He said with a nervous laugh.

“No, she’s quite alright.” Sirius gritted back at him, looking far more severe than James thought the situation called for as he rubbed his hand consolingly up and down your arm. 

James looked to your boyfriends, his face clearly asking all the questions that his mouth wasn’t.

“He helps, sometimes.” Regulus admitted, not looking particularly happy that you chose his brother over him, but not nearly as murderous as James figured he might look if he’d found Lily snuggled up like that with some other bloke. And it appeared as though the look of heartbreak on Remus’ face was caused more by your current sorry state and less about your current cuddle partner.

“But...your brother?” James asked, still befuddled over this development. “Doesn’t she usually go to Junior for things like this?”

Sirius scoffed. “Junior’s solution to almost anything is fire or murder.”

“Or both.” You whimpered quietly, causing Sirius to tighten his arm around you and bring his other hand up to continue stroking your arm.

“Besides, Barty’s an only child.” Regulus said flippantly.

“What’s that got to do with it?” James asked, slightly offended at the insinuation that anything may be wrong with him on account of his only child-ness. 

Regulus’ irritable demeanor over Sirius usurping you was quickly replaced by a cocky smirk at getting under James’ skin.

“Let me ask you this, Potter: last summer when Lily returned your letters unopened and called you an arrogant toerag after saying she’d rather date the giant squid, whose arms did you cry into?”

“He didn’t cry.” Lily laughed at the same time as James answered “Sirius’” without any hesitation.

“What?” Lily asked, looking slightly horrified that she may have actually hurt James’ feelings.

“Oh, all the time, every time, actually.” James said readily. 

“He got snot on so many of my favourite band-tee’s, Red. As a matter of fact, I expect retribution.” Sirius commented.

“And why do you think you cried into Sirius’ arms?” Regulus continued.

“Well...because he’s my best mate.” James said simply.

“You may think that’s the reason, but you’re wrong. It’s because Sirius is an older brother.”

James scoffed at that. “Please, that has nothing to do with it!”

“Have you ever cried in Remus’ arms?”

“No, but-”

“Pettigrew’s?”

James grimaced but answered honestly. “No.”

“No. Because they’re not older brothers.” Regulus said definitively.

“That actually makes sense...” Lily mused aloud. 

“You say that like you’re surprised, Evans. I know you’re not used to good idea’s coming out of men’s mouths, but I do assure you it happens more frequently than you might imagine.” Regulus taunted, earning him a pillow being hurled at his head. 

Much to James’ chagrin, his seeker reflexes caught the pillow before it made impact with his face. 

“Tosser.” James grumbled. 

“Would you guys shut up.” Sirius whispered, causing everyone to look over at you. 

Regulus couldn’t even find it in him to be miffed when he saw you sleeping what looked to be quite peacefully in Sirius’ arms. Your eyes were slightly swollen from your tears, and he could see the tracks they had left on your cheeks and over the bridge of your nose, but you looked so content. 

“So... all big brothers know how to do that?” James asked incredulously.

“I doubt it.” Sirius commented quietly.

“Only ones who know what it’s like to live in a Pureblood hellscape and needed to share his bed with his younger brother who was too scared to sleep on his own for years.” Regulus added quietly, staring unseeingly towards you and Sirius. Remus pulled Regulus tighter into his side and began rubbing his arm consolingly.

Suddenly, things started to make a little more sense to James. 

“I’ll write to mum.” James stated, causing both brothers, Lily, and Remus to look at him bemusedly.

“About what?” Remus asked finally.

“Y/N staying with us.” James said simply.

Regulus opened his mouth ready to argue; to argue that James didn’t have to and that he already took in both Sirius and Regulus. James didn’t owe Regulus anything. 

But Sirius spoke first.

“She should be with her big brother, Reggie.” Sirius said, shooting him an encouraging smile and wink.

And seeing how your breathing had fallen even with your mouth slightly ajar as you clutched to the fabric of Sirius’ jumper like it was a lifeline, who was Regulus to argue?

[chiquititaosita]

⁺ 𓂋 𓈒 ♡ daycare/ girl dad! gojo hcs ⁺ 𓂋 𓈒 ♡

taglist @imissyuuji @honeybleed @roronoaswifey @eloteg1rl @abbyslev @hangespublicist @zorosdimples @mommypieck @bratphilia @cookiepie111 @ginger4sugar @sanjisblackasswife @noritopia @c0pkiller // also please comment to be in taglists :)

- send help for this man immediately

-he’s super fucking attached that his baby is going to daycare

-he cried taking her there and waited in the parking lot crying for two hours.

-you and him are nervous but are super excited about it

- y’all even have baby girl in the most adorable outfits!

- always checking on the online documentation on the infant teachers. And asking about incident reports “which baby did it?!”

- the minute she plays with the other babies that are girls she always sharing, however if it’s a boy she pushes them out of the way.

- during missions sometimes he takes babygirl out with them. and literally says to his students. “Yep, I made this pet sperm.”

-“correction she is the boss, not me. She’s my twin..”

-holds her in the baby carrier. “sorry we got dance class!- Megumi you’re in charge.” runs off speeding with babygirl in arms

- one day he brought babygirl into daycare with a uncoordinated outfit and messy pig tails because she was not having it. Even having a diaper on backwards “sorry ladies I’m really color blind.” He fucking lied.

-he’s also happy for milestones

- pick up time he always gets her before closing. 2:30 to be the earliest. The latest 4:00 “Hi my love bug!!” He’ll exclaim and there your daughter will be having the biggest smile on her face. The baby HATES being there till closing.

- he’s super happy now that he gets art from his little princess. “My baby is an artist.” He lets out a fake tear.

- when he gets baby girls clothes that are from outfit changes he gags. Yet he kills curses for a living. How is thiS GROSSING HIM OUT.

- always takes his time for the baby.

-when you come home from work. And you see the baby girl. You’re so eager to hug your baby. But baby girl is already saying. “Dada!!” And you just feel jealous but happy she’s saying words and babbling

- then picks up the baby. And dances with her. “Cha cha cha - cha!” Oh little girl laughs like an angel

-spitting image of gojo with your personality

- cried the first time when you took the baby to the newborn class. because his paternity leave was over.

-always gags at diaper changes even though he kills curses for a living.

- “why is her poop black?”

-“ because she was just born.” His eyes are in shock. he even grabs the baby on the stroller, and is actually good at doing hair.

- always loves seeing pictures and videos of his baby. Even some with his two only girls in his life.

-“mama dada.” Were her first two words

- babysitting with the students jujustu tech, it’s hilarious.

-“what does she want?!” Yuji will scream panicking and crying with the baby, because the baby is screaming for a nap.

“Bottle?” Nobara will be trying to make a bottle of formula, and then scream beginning to bite the two of them. Even when diaper changes.

-“check her diaper.” So Megumi bring the good big brother he is finds out it’s a diaper rash.

“WE DIDNT KNOW!!” Actually Megumi knew he just wanted to watch his friends suffer. Never will you let them babysit only under nanami’s supervision. Y/n will sigh. “It’s alright, she’ll be okay.” You hug your baby girl.

Meanwhile in the toddler stage… that’s for part two

[onskepa]

Halo Hello Halo! I hope you are having a mighty fine day/night!

I hope this is alright but could I request a neteyam x avatar,na'vi! Reader?

Basically the reader is pregnant with what's supposed to be their first born. However, fate would have it that y/n would give birth to triplets! A never before heard of phenomena, due to na'vi usually having children one at a time and even then twins were a very rare event to occur!

I dunno I just like the idea of reader giving birth to triplets much to the sully family's surprise. Plus I couldn't help but think of how funny it would be for neteyam to be pacing outside the door for hours and the almost faint when finds out he doesn't just have one or two babies, but three!

Hellooooooooo!! once I read your request I KNEW the pic for it! sorry it took a bit to make it but I hope you enjoy!

Syawn series

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Syawn

[had to lol]

It was night when the moment arrived. All of the Omatikaya gathered near the tent of the Tsahik as they prey for the woman who is about to be a mother. Loud screams echoed the forest, all the mother's recognize those screams. Screams of pain and love.

In the tent mo'at, neytiri, kiri and tuk were aiding in the labor of the woman whom goes by the loving name Syawn, a name called with love.

Syawn was about to bring her child to the world of pandora. But by Eywa it hurts!

Tuk does her best by holding Syawn's hand as means to reassure her and give her the push to keep going. But tuk can only do so much.

"mama she is gonna break my hand...!!!!" she squeaks in pain. Small tears ready to fall from her eyes. But her pleas and begging were tuned out by the screaming woman beside her.

Mo'at and kiri were very concerned. Yes it is normal for the women to scream and cry during the birthing process, but Sywan's screams were louder, more painful. Of all the years assisting mother's to birth, they know the difference in the screams and cries. This one was different. Not terrible, but also not good.

On the outside of the tent, Jake and lo'ak were doing their best to keep neteyam calm. As calm one can get as they hear their mates cries.

"bro you are going to make me dizzy just seeing you walking like that" lo'ak groans. Neteyam was walking back and forth to no end as he was lost in this thoughts.

"I can see a ditch being created" jake says as he tries to make light of things. "You're not making things any better" neteyam remarks, huffing and feeling tense.

His mate's screams seems to no end, the urge to go in there and hold her hand, whisper in her ear, to try anything to ease her pain. He understand labor is a difficult thing a mother must go through as means to bring life into the world. He has heard his own mother screams as she births his siblings.

Jake having enough, he gets up from where he was sitting and grabs neteyam by the shoulders, looking at him eye to eye. "I know what you are feeling. I was there. I know you want to be with her, comfort her and want to take away her pain. Believe me son, I know. But your grandmother and sister knows what they are doing. They have done the same process many times. If it will make you feel better, why not go to the spirit tree?" he offers.

Neteyam didnt felt any better but knows his father speaks from his good heart. He was about to respond when the screams stopped. Silence all around now.

Fear and panic washed over neteyam. Fearing the worst, he runs towards the tend when tuk ran out, a big smile on her face.

"they are born!! they are here!!" she grabs her brothers hand and drags him into the tent.

He enters, the first thing he sees is his mate sleeping peacefully, exhausted from the process. He softly places a kiss on her nose, doing a small payer to Eywa that she had made it through. After making sure she is ok, he turns to his left.

And there, in a soft lighting from the lantern, shows mo'at, neytiri and kiri each holding one baby in their arms.

It wasnt one, nor two, but three na'vi babies. All small and very cute.

Mo'at looked at her newly born great grandchildren rather in shock and disbelief. Birthing one single child is common, twins is a extreme rarity, but three children at once? Impossible. A true blessing given by great mother Eywa.

Neytiri was also in shock but happy. Jake has explained he was a twin himself, that he had another half of himself. She understood she would have mostly likely birth twins. But it never happened.

To see three na'vi babies born at the same time, she felt lucky to witness such a scene. Possibly something that would only ever happen once.

Kiri was way too happy. Such a phenomenon right before her eyes! No doubt Eywa has blessed her sister to be this fertile. A wonderful gift to have.

The three children were exactly identical. Little tuffs of hair, shining bioluminescent dots decorated on their small little bodies, small hands and feet, their tails curled to their sides, making small noises. Cute ears pinned back, little round but definitely ears of na'vi.

Neteyam was shocked beyond words, lo'ak and jake enter to feel the same way.

"Well I be damned...." jake muttered.

Lo'ak chuckled in disblief. "Three? how is that even possible?"

"its not...this has never happened" mo'at replies.

Jake huffs a bit, smiling to see his first grandchildren. "I bet you are feeling excited aren't you neteyam?"

THUMP!!

Everyone turns to see neteyam passed out flat on the floor.

"neteyam?"

Ngl, I low-key want to make a part 2 to this. Whatchu guys think? lemme know! Hope yall enjoyed!

Syawn = blessing.

[viaviv124]

Bullfrog Character Study and why i feel so bad for him

Did you notice that Bullfrog does not cry at all until his execution? Not when Jade died, not when Pey'j died and, to our knowledge, not while he was in jail.

When Bullfrog talked with Rayman and mentioned Pey'j's death he sounded so bitter. Yeah he probably said it to hold a mirror in front of Rayman but also i feel like at first he didn't intent to say this, that this just slipped out and he then decided to roll with it. I do not know much about Assassins Creed but i do know that he had to embody the Brotherhood's ideology of freedom, peace and equality. To my knowledge to "peace and freedom" also counts "free of vengance/hatred/bitterness" and so on because these feelings do not make you free, hence why Bullfrog tried to stop both Dolph and Pey'j from acting in vengance (allthough with Pey'j it also was so the Warden doesn't detonate the bomb). And espacially because of the survivors guilt Bullfrog thinks he has to be the perfect assassin.

However, Assassins are just people too. People are flawed and cannot follow this perfectly. And Bullfrog was incredibly bitter. Probably not just bitter too, one can just imagine what he felt. He lost everything he cared about again. He failed again. Not to mention, i doubt he ever allowed himself to grief. And i feel like feeling that horde of emotions also lead to self loathing to a degree.

Bullfrog is supposed to embody the Brotherhood's ideology, hell, the entire brotherhood considering he's, to his and our knowledge, the only one left. He's not supposed to feel everything he's feeling right now, yet he does and it eats him up. The survivors guilt forces him to perfectionism. If he can't be the perfect assassin, then what is he? To him he's failing his ancestors and brothers, his fallen comrades, the ones he's fighting for, everyone.

And despite all of that he never once allowed himself to cry.

Except when he was convinced he was going to die.

Bullfrog cried during his final words as he apologized to Dolph for failing him. And i can promise you these tears weren't just because of the apology, no, in these few tears was at least a bit of everything that happend. Because he didn't have to stay strong anymore. He thought that's it. This is where he and the brotherhood will die. And he probably felt two main emotions in that moment. Hopelessness and relief. Hopelessness for very obvious reasons i doubt i need to elaborate, but relief? He didnt have that burden anymore. He thought he was going to die so that weight he's been carrying for who-knows how long would be off his shoulders. It's a very small price, but at least it's something.

Everything i've said so far is why a certain comic by @pitafish hits so hard to me. I won't show it here because i didn't ask for permission, but basically what happend is that Bullfrog and Ramon were lying in bed and Bullfrog had a breakdown so Ramon sang to him and hugged him to soothe and comfort him.

[Edit] i just got permission to link the comic so here you go

Bullfrog let himself cry. He let himself be vulnerable. He lets himself be an individual with his own thoughts and feelings instead of an extension/personification of the brotherhood. And most impressively, he did that in front of someone else. He let someone else soothe him, hold him, take the place of comfort he himself always took for others.

And that's what makes it hit so hard.

In conclusion, Bullfrog deserves a hug, a blankie, hot chocolate, to bawl his eyes out and some well-deserved rest.

[theresamouseinmyhouse]

tim + brentwood characters as boys i was legitimately friends with in high school and think of every single day:

Buzz- Jake (fake names for all of my friends bc privacy reasons) who complained about hanging out with nerds, got into a fistfight with someone else on his football team bc they called us nerds, was thoroughly convinced he'd run laps faster if he was hopped up on pixie stix (i held his backback while he got sick in the bathroom👍👍), he tried to hit on my older sister and she laughed at him, he was so put out he contemplated becoming a monk for a week

Wes: Max, who i helped sneak an entire bottle of orange juice on to the bus to our choir competition, but was unaware he brought a full bottle of vodka as well, ended up crying on our choir teacher for the three hours after the comp and i bought him a box of donuts after school, he did not stop doing this and had severe beef with a kid he knew in 5th grade and hadnt seen since but also hadnt forgotten their name and last i knew, was still awaiting for a dreaded confrontation to eventually come

Kip: Eduardo, who we all thought was studying during lunch but was actually filling his notebook with weird facts he observed about us and also managed to chew several packs of gum at once throughout our math class before the teacher noticed him, didnt know the plot to the clockwork orange so i lied about it for 5 weeks before he read it and called me just to tell me "you lying frog" befire he hung up

Ali: Ángel, who lied several times on separate occasions to the campus security about where people smoked, forgot what chihuahuas were twice, and almost drowned when he was swimming except his older brother got him and he immediately called me while waiting for the ambulance to tell me he almost fucking died, randomly sang a song about crabs he made up throughout the day

Danny: Ben, helped me with my biology homework because i helped him with essays, once released a live rat into the computer classroom because he had beef with the teacher, once texted me at 11 p.m. because he was having a mental breakdown over his chem work before he realized he was actually looking at trig and i told him id shoot him with a tranq gun if he woke me up like this again, kept forgetting how to tie his shoes

Tim: Teddy, he catfished 6 men over the age of 30 by pretending to be a 13 yr old girl and lured them to the part of town where there is an absurd amount of wild dogs that evade animal control and are known to maul humans, i watched him lockpick the english teacher's door so he could take back an essay he wrote bc it was actually a slash fic he printed out and turned in by accident, we hung out at a dennys once and he accidentally put his hand in syrup, looked me dead in the eye and said "i did that bc im gay" and wore pastel pink for a month bc it pissed off the hall monitor, his dad, and also six teachers he didnt even have class with

[luffysinterlude]

REMEMBER WHEN. . .

★ summary: the straw hat pirates reminisce on some fun memories while voyaging through the Grand Line.

★ warnings: chatroom au/comedic relief, mentions of pregnancy, cursing, takes place after water seven/pre thriller bark, ooc characters, use of yn + female reader in mind, flirty!yn + the crew teases yn a bit ><, zoro x reader…kinda..im biased im sorry 😞 + some things are NOT canon and i just made it up :p

★ an: hiii!! there is not enough one piece fanfic content on this app in my opinion (i feel like i’ve read almost every piece, all have been amazing), so here’s my attempt at making more!! also, i’m still pretty new to the op fandom, so some characters may be a little ooc. i’m still reading/watching thriller bark so pls bare with me! also this is a chatroom au because i don’t have access to social app anymore *cry*. anyway, please enjoy!

NOW ONLINE [9]. . .

yn: SIGHHHHHHHHHH

robin: is everything okay, yn?

chopper: yeah yn, is everything okay?

zoro: probably not

yn: just thinking

usopp: thinking about where we’ll be next? praying manifesting it isnt anywhere scary

chopper: everywhere we’ve been has been terrifying

nami: yeah usopp

nami: its like we goto hell, leave it, and then enter another part of it

nami: i think we should just start expecting the worst

zoro: maybe we should all just get a lil more stronger. starting with the blonde pervert we have as our cook

sanji: I DIDNT EVEN SAY ANYTHING YET

sanji: AND YOURE THE ONE TO TALK!

sanji: MUST I REMIND YOU THAT I LITERALLLLY JUST SAVED YOU AND USOPP AT THAT TOWER

luffy: oooooo thinking about what? tell me tell me tell me!

sanji: now, my dearest yn, please let me know if theres anyway i can assist you

zoro: she probably doesn’t want your help lmfao no offense

sanji: WHOOOO was even talking to you? I SAID YN’S NAME IN THE TEXT DAMMIT

nami: can you two idiots cut it out already? its like, i can hear your voices through my screen and i don’t like that

franky: yeah it’s actually kinda crazy i can hear you all…without actually being in your presence

chopper: soooo yn?

luffy: yeah yn what’s going on?

yn: just sitting here thinking about all of our fun adventures. like wow we actually did all of that and it was like…real life

yn: i feel like if i didnt know you guys and didn’t experience it then it wouldn’t sound real

yn: but like wow it was all real

robin: we’ve had some wild times, haven’t we?

luffy: LOL yeah that might’ve been on me

luffy: but we’ve survived this long

luffy: we’ll continue to survive because fate loves us!

nami: -.-

sanji: luffy’s right, surprisingly

sanji: sometimes i think about how fate brought us together…or atleast i think about how fate brought me nami yn and robin together

yn: watch it pretty boy

sanji: YES MA’AM

sanji: screenshotting

zoro: ignoring that dude. i think it’s amazing how we prevail every time. we get stronger without realizing

yn: i mean we did fly into the sky

yn: thats so crazy we actually like. flew. in the air. on a ship.

nami: yeah all thanks to me ;*

yn: thank u pretty i remember falling in love with you then and there

franky: WHAT THE HELL

franky: YOU GUYS FLEW IN THE AIR WITH MERRY?!

usopp: HELL YEAH MERRY FLEWWW

usopp: FRANKY YOU SHOULDVE SEEN IT

usopp: there was this gigantic whirlpool below us and everything

chopper: haha yeah that was crazy! and those giant monkeys

robin: oh! yes, the saruyama alliance. i could never forget the amount of fun i had during our time on Jaya Island

yn: robin i love u but FUNNNNNN???-?-?-!-? DID WE FORGET ABOUT THAT STUPID FOREST CRICKET HAD US GO INTO?!1? i still have nightmares of that stupid south bird and its stupid face and the way it made all those stupid bugs chase me

luffy: haha those south birds were really something else

nami: it’s funny because we had no idea what was coming next

zoro: that stupid “God” was next. what was his name again? emily? enemy….?

zoro: well shit i’ve forgot. it was somethin else though. his stupid lightning

franky: BROTHER WHAT

franky: YOU GUYS FOUGHT….A GOD?!?!1???!!!?

franky: was it like….you know…..THE GOD

chopper: not really sure what you mean but that guy enel really had some sort of crazy insane powers

chopper: him and his crazy insane priests were able to predict our moves!

robin: oh yeah. he electrocuted zoro, yn, and i.

yn: pls dont remind me TT

yn: he scares me because i feel like he somehow is still alive

yn: like what if hes reading our messages

nami: i never thought of it like that…

nami: enel if ur reading this please drop 1,000,000,000 berries down from the sky

luffy: i wish the skypeians and shandians rang the bell more often.

luffy: haha oh well! i know they’re doing just fine! :D

usopp: well thanks to yn now i’m reminscing TT

usopp: it feels like alabasta JUST happened

robin: well, we did just face the world government

robin: technically crocodile was apart of it

usopp: YEAH AND YOU WERE HIS ASSISTANT OR WHATEVER

robin: that’s the past. i had to do what i needed to do to survive. and i’m glad i was, considering i was able to find you all <3

yn: ROBINNNNNNN TT

nami: ROBINNNNN

sanji: robin i wouldve followed you to hades’ kingdom if i had to. i will always protect you (and nami and yn. the others can fend for themselves).

luffy: hahahaha i agree!! see, fate loves us

chopper: WE LOVE U ROBIN

franky: YEAH! WE LOVE SISTER ROBIN!

zoro: appreciate ya.

usopp: YEAAAA WE LOVE ROBIN!

yn: shoutout to us

yn: i love us

yn: i love being a strawhat

chopper: same!!! forever and always gonna be a strawhat!!

luffy: i love our little family!

luffy: without you all, i wouldn’t be as close as i am to reaching my dream! so thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

luffy: also sanji when is dinner gonna be ready so i know when to head back to the sunny

nami: same

nami: now i’m really reminiscing. do you guys remember when yn thought she was pregnant

usopp: i-

usopp: …

yn: NAMI

yn: alright well.

sanji: WHATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT TT

sanji: also luffy dinner will be ready when its dinner time. its mid day. if you’re hungry i have snacks in the fridge or since you’re running around this island, find a food stand

sanji: BUT WHATTTTTT DID NAMI JUST SAY

chopper: HUUUUUUUUUUUUH

robin: what a naughty girl you are, nami. teasing yn about her “almost” pregnancy

nami: yk me! but i remember being soooooo worried only for the pregnancy test to come back negative

zoro: yn?

franky: LITTLE SIS YN…DOES THE DEED….BUT SHE LOOKS SO INNOCENT

luffy: oh wow cool sanji thanks!

luffy: also congrats yn? but where will the baby stay?

usopp: did you even read nami’s text

luffy: oh..right LOL that’s good! i can’t imagine yn having a baby. plus how are babies even made

chopper: :o

nami: …

robin: your innocence is apart of my will to live

yn: luffy TT

sanji: THROUGH LOVE! BABIES ARE MADE THROUGH LOVE!!!

luffy: oh sickkkkkk do you guys think we can make one?

yn: oh luffy TT

nami: well!

sanji: he’ll come around

luffy: LOL BRB

LUFFY has gone offline.

chopper: wonder what he’s up to

yn: probably found food like sanji told him to

zoro: yeah he kind of left the store we’re at and i have no desire to look for him right now

zoro: oh nevermind. he just went outside to buy meat from a vendor. he’s good, still in my eyesight

chopper: also

chopper: YN WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME

yn: chopper >< you were still fairly new to the crew then

yn: but this happened after we left chopper’s hometown

yn: i think i was just sick because of the crazy weather changes, plus nami has just recovered and didn’t want anyone to be worried sick :p

zoro: why didnt you tell me?

zoro: you’re apart of the crew too, ya know.

usopp: interesting

sanji: you stupid ass MOSSHEAD WHY WOULD SHE TELL YOU HER BUSINESS

nami: sigh

nami: its like the most obvious thing ever

robin: i’m afraid it just isn’t clicking for him.

yn: it’s not like i didn’t wanna tell you

zoro: okay so why didn’t you

sanji: WATCH HOW YOU SPEAK TO HER DUMBASS!

yn: LMFAOOO I REMEMBER WHY I DIDNT TELL YOU

yn: YOU GOT LOST AS SOON AS WE GOT TO ALABASTA

yn: and by time i found you, i had already forgotten that i thought i was pregnant because there was a whole warlord wanting us dead so

zoro: hmm. okay. well next time..

sanji: YOU DIDNT HAVE TO EXPLAIN TO HIM YN YOURE BETTER THAN HIM IN EVERY WAY

zoro: if you ever need a safe space. you know.

yn: hehe yes i do. but i apologize for not telling you as soon as i felt…different. it’s just that we’ll always have bigger issues to worry about

franky: ummmm are we interrupting something

zoro: hm

zoro: nah. yn and i will talk later when we see each other.

zoro: for now i’m thinkin about that time luffy and i got beat up on jaya island. now i’m annoyed.

zoro: the principle of the matter was good but i really just had to sit there and take an ass beating when i could’ve handled the entire bar

zoro: ehhhh now i’m gonna go workout. if anyone needs me you know where to find me.

ZORO has gone offline.

yn: he left saying “you know where to find me” as if we’ll actually know

robin: i really hope he finds his way back to the sunny.

sanji: he can get lost for all i care

yn: it’s crazy that i really thought i was pregnant that one time

yn: even vivi thought so

nami: i was super worried

nami: so worried i was reading every book we had to find anything i could help you with

usopp: well i’m offended cause why didn’t you tell me i thought we were besties

yn: wellllllllll no offense but full offense, you have “i-can’t-seem-to-keep-my-mouth-shut” disease

yn: just yappin all day everyday

franky: so, sister yn, zoro huh?

sanji: DONT OFFEND HER LIKE THAT YOU IDIOT!

usopp: HEYYYYY!!!!! I WOULDVE KEPT A SECRET

sanji: yn my loveeeeee you know you could always tell me your secrets

yn: i cant lie i almost let it slip when i helped you with dinner that night

yn: but again, bigger fish to fry

sanji: screenshotted again

sanji: did you guys see that? shes flirting with me. might die

robin: hm not sure what part of that was flirting but whatever makes you happy.

nami: oooo franky’s quick

franky: it isn’t hard to tell

chopper: what’re you all talking about!!?

yn: nothing important you little cute doctor

chopper: >~< SHUT UP! >~< THAT DOESNT WORK ON ME!!

sanji: robin! nami! yn!!!! i will be going offline to go back to the sunny to make some snacks. would you ladies do me the pleasure of enjoying them? should they be ready before you all arrive?

robin: please do! surprise us this time :)

yn: hell yea sanji you know i’d never say no to you

nami: lol yes please! i’m kind of craving something sweet

sanji: OFF TO THE KITCHEN I GO!! GIVE ME AN HOUR!!

SANJI has gone offline.

yn: well now that those three are gone

yn: i worry about them a lot

yn: i feel like those three find trouble every where we go

chopper: same but we’re all like, insanely strong now!

chopper: and it’s not like we’re actively looking for trouble, sometimes we just want to chill

nami: yeah. but now, more than ever, i feel more secure

nami: like wow he’s really gonna be king of the pirates

yn: most definitely. we only ever get stronger

usopp: yeaaaaaaaaaaaaa obviously i’ve had my doubts but…

usopp: it’s never been because of luffy

robin: ever since i met you guys again on alabasta…

robin: i knew you all would give me a life worth living

yn: robin’s so sweet online it makes me want to cry

yn: well shes always sweet

franky: SISTER ROBIN TT

nami: robin, i’m curious. how did you find our ship?

robin: well it was just docked and i figured i’d finally take a rest somewhere. if you all hadn’t left alabasta by time i had woken up, then i wouldn’t have stayed. like luffy says, fate loves us.

franky: WHAAAAAT you just…..snuck on? O.O

chopper: oh yeah i remember!

chopper: i’m not gonna lie, i was a little intimidated by you at first

yn: OH HOW COULD I FORGETTTTTTTTT

yn: chopper wasn’t there when we first met robin!

nami: oh yeah!

yn: franky chopper omg like have i ever told the story of how i first fell in love with robin

usopp: OH YEAH she blew that guy’s ship up

usopp: i wonder how vivi’s doing

nami: VIVI TT i hope she’s okay

nami: but yeah i agree. i was scared shitless of robin but then she told me she got me treasure

franky: WOAH ROBIN BLEW SOMEONES SHIP UP?

robin: not entirely. he survived and thats what matters

franky: i mean i guess

franky: i was definitely intimidated by luffy when we first met. even though that was like three weeks ago

franky: i can’t lie he still sometimes intimidates me

yn: brother ur half machine

franky: YEAH BUT MOSTLY HUMAN!!!

franky: anyway sisters. you guys have to tell me more stories at dinner later i have to go refill the coke tanks, see ya!

FRANKY has gone offline.

usopp: well chat

usopp: i usually help him so i’ll be going back too

usopp: yn i’m expecting way more details later after dinner

usopp: or zoro. but preferably before you see zoro

chopper: i’ll help! girls if you need me for anything i’ll be with those two!!

yn: um…okay…? we’ll see u all later!!!

USOPP has gone offline.

CHOPPER has gone offline.

nami: and now it’s just us three

nami: sorry for bringing your pregnancy scare up

nami: i’m getting my nails done right now and i can’t really seem to remember our journeys

yn: its all good

yn: i kinda forgot about it

robin: we’ve been through so much our brains probably started to black out any unwanted memories. i’ve read that it happens

robin: and yn, i don’t blame you. i would’ve been worried sick if i was apart of the crew then. but since it’s just us…

yn: omg let us catch you up

yn: so basically..i had…with…and then…

nami: —.—

nami: she had sex with someone *cough* zoro *cough* and started puking the next morning

yn: NAMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

yn: TT

nami: i definitely thought it was pregnancy

robin: silly girls. you do realize pregnancy symptoms don’t happen overnight, right?

robin: also, yn. it’s obvious. i’ve seen the way you two are always the first ones missing during our celebrations

nami: well……..yeah but

nami: we can never be TOO safe

yn: mmm if you hadn’t caught on by now then i’d be surprised

yn: i was still scared

yn: i think it was more of a “wow me and zoro actually did that and it was real”

nami: it’s just….in a forest?!-?

nami: with…HIM!!!-?-?-?-??

nami: you can have any man or woman or creature you want and you stillllllllll………….

yn: i was running on adrenaline. that dude and his stupid ass candle wax drove me insane

yn: plus you both know i kinda have a little crush on the guy

yn: i can fix him

nami: okayyyyyy whatever you say.

nami: pfttt “little” and you guys are basically dating in my head

robin: i forgot his actual name but i’m assuming you guys are talking about mr. 3

robin: ah yes his wax is quite the problem. i wonder if hes alive still

nami: i was seriously stressed out

nami: but honestly, since we’re on the topic, i’m glad i joined luffy

nami: there was this one time, yn i’m sure you remember

nami: right before going to the baratie

yn: the day we went to the baratie TT

yn: but what happened before i kinda forgot

nami: WHY’RE YOU ALWAYS FORGETTING THINGS

nami: anyway when we ran into your crazy psycho ex

yn: OMG

yn: AND HE THREATENED LUFFY

yn: AND THEN LUFFY THREW HIM INTO THE OCEAN TT

robin: oh? tell me more about this ex of yours. i’m interested

yn: he kinda followed us after luffy saved me from HIM

yn: um so basically..you know my devil fruit powers…yeah he held them over my head and threatened to tell the marines about me and

nami: it was chaos. but it was the first time i’ve seen yn in combat and it was mind blowing

robin: luffy being our life saver and our little brother

robin: what would we do without him

yn: you’re right

yn: but i think at this point, we’re all strong enough to handle our own. if i ever see my ex again i’ll beat him so bad

nami: yeah me too! cause he had the crazy audacity to ask me out after i found out what he did to you!

nami: either way, i’m just happy we’re still all together. you know since we’ve been throwing the word fate around, i’m really starting to believe it. luffy has a really good sense of knowing who should join our crew

yn: he does :’)

yn: he gave me a family

robin: well we should probably go check on the boys now. i’ll meet you all at the sunny <3

robin: come back safely.

nami: yeah!! you too robin! yn, bring us some goodies! i’ll see you both later!!

yn: I LOVE YOU GUYS BE SAFE ILL SEE YOU SOON

yn: can’t wait to see u guys again

nami: ….you saw us this morning.

ROBIN has gone offline.

NAMI has gone offline.

YN has gone offline.

CHATROOM IS NOW CLOSED [0].

NOW ONLINE [1]. . .

LUFFY is now online.

luffy: HEY GUYSSSSSSS

luffy: IM BACK

luffy: i ate some meat and came back to the shop we were at but zoro isnt here anymore so i’m wondering if you guys happen to know where he is!

luffy: ….

luffy: oh the chatroom closed

luffy: well i guess i better get back to the sunny!

luffy: hopefully my friends make it back safely! we still have more adventures to take care of

luffy: wow these things are so cool i’m just talking to myself

luffy: i wonder if i can get one on the sunny…

luffy: OH WELL

LUFFY has gone offline.

CHATROOM IS NOW CLOSED [0].

★ an [2]: ahhh!! my first work is now done ☺️ honestly this was all self indulgent because i’ve been going through some personal things and right now the strawhats are my comfort zone. i decided to make it like a big groupchat because i don’t really have any friends irl or online so this makes me feel a lil better ☺️! i hope you all enjoyed.

its a lil messy because when i first started this i was about to began Thriller Bark but as I’m typing this I’m currently on the Sabaody Archipelago arc and things are getting more exciting like omg hello mr. Trafalgar Law I’ve been waiting for your debut….

if you enjoyed this please like and reblog! maybe i’ll start writing more drabbles idk. it used to be my thing when i was still using @/krazykento and jjk used to be my comfort zone. also, if you want to be friends please don’t be shy to say anything! i’d love to make new friends!!

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for sending "anonymous hate mail" to someone on Tumblr?

The title sounds extremely horrible, i get it, but let me explain. Also this isn't recent what occurred but got brought up which is why I'm asking.

I was 17nb when this started. This woman was 7 years older then me. We met through a charity event me and my brother went to. We became friends as I kept volunteering there. She was shy but charismatic. She asked if my brother was my boyfriend which had made me cringe, but was an interesting start to a conversation.

She became my friend, as stated. She would text me every day. When I turned 18, me and my twin rented a place. I went to this woman's house a few times, but she would come to my place quite a bit. I would hold biweekly dinners at my house and I'd invite my other friends and my siblings (20m who I volunteered with, and well my twin but she lived there).

For 3 years this woman would text me every day. She was the first person I came out to as nb and she actually cut my hair for me and helped me buy androgynous clothes. She constantly talked about love and romance to me. She practiced flirting with me, usually I'd flirt and she would coach me. She almost kissed me once, barely missing my lips. I noticed some of the moves i would do, she would do to my brother during these dinners. Not a big deal to me or my brother. My twin thought it was weird but decided it didn't hurt anyone.

We started fighting a bit over small things. She would misinterpret what I said and would get upset, and then I'd defend myself and try to explain, all while she would cry. She would say something extremely rude and then say I misunderstood what she said. Just small things.

My twin was understandably upset. My brother was frustrated but stated it was between me and this woman.

It came to a head when my brother's girlfriend came to a dinner. She is super sweet and super kind and absolutely shy. This woman would constantly speak over her, cursed st her, and actually physically pushed her out of the way.

That night she called my brother and told my brother she had always had a crush on him and liked him. My brother told her he had a girlfriend and he never liked her like that. I called her and told her off for treating someone like that, and I want to make it clear I had no clue she called my brother until weeks later.

We grew more distant. If j said anything she didn't like, if I tried to tell her how I felt or bring up an argument and try ro resolve it, she would claim I was confronting her and being overemotional and would not text me back for days. I got blocked and unblocked multiple times. I decided I was going to stop being her friend.

now, during all this I had gotten a Tumblr because this woman convinced me. I ended up getting locked out after I had gained over 1000 followers (more then she had). I have suspicions she changed my password when we had hung out, because i had my login saved and it was always logged in and when I had went to get back in, it was logged out and my password didn't work.

It sucked but I didnt get back on. This woman would bring up Tumblr memes and trending things where we volunteered at and I would have no clue. She took this as proof I wasnt on Tumblr anymore....and I wasnt.

Except I remembered her account and decided to search it, because she brought these amazing cookies to where we volunteered (please note, the reason she brought them was because It was a going away party for me as I was no longer volunteering. This was the last time I saw her in person and I never had contact with her after) and told me she had found the recipe on Tumblr. I remembered these cookies when my friend decided to have a bring your own cookie Christmas party months later. I went to the woman's Tumblr to see if I could find the cookie recipe.

Well I found more then I expected. I found her talking shit about me and my siblings. She claimed my brother led her on and had attempted to have a ONS with her. She claims that he would constantly text her and flirt.

She claimed I was a bitch and that I purposely caused her to lose friends (people i had invited to these dinners that I was friends with). She gave us nicknames, so I didnt really care, but I could tell who was who because well it was about me. Everyone is allowed to vent, and I didnt go through every post because it just seemed to me she was using Tumblr as a diary.

But then I saw an ask she answered and I broke out in a cold sweat. Someone asked if my deadname was my nickname she had used. This woman confirmed they were one in the same. I was shook and didn't even understand what I was reading, and clicked the link she had added.

The link was to her writing blog. It was a link to her original story, with the main character as herself. She had written fucking fanfiction about us. I couldn't make this up if i wanted to. She used MY ACTUAL DEADNAME for me, as well as describing me to a tee and including identifying info (such as my tattoos). She used my brother's real name and also my twins. In the story, my twin wasnt my twin but just a sister. There was enough information though that if someone irl who knew us read it they could absolutely say who was who, especially since it used OUR REAL NAMES.

She also wrote blurbs and AUs of this story that was ongoing. There was more then one blurb where my character died. She killed me off. In one story my character was SA'd. It was very creepy to me. She also happened to post in an update to the main story that my brothers character moved. She described where he moved, describing the house the street etc. She didn't name streets but it was the EXACT location my brother moved. I dont know how she knew because my brother NEVER posted it and had moved within the past week of her update.

I did tell my brother and my twin immediately. Both were weirded out and my brother ended up getting a security system because we think she stalked him (he was receiving weird messages at his work and on his car). My twin and I moved and got one as well *we didn't move because of her but because rent was cheaper elsewhere*.

On her writing blog she answered an ask that basically said these were based on real people. She even jokingly said that "they'll know exactly who they are if they read this, they're described perfectly". After that confirmation where she admitted, j sent her a few anonymous messages. I never cursed her out, I never called her names, and I never said she should kys.

In one ask i said if she was writing about real people maybe she should describe them differently as it seemed identifying. In another I told her it seemed unhealthy and she had issues. In the final one I told her to seek help.

But I guess my asks made people wake up and realize. She got multiple messages apparently and then deactivated because of the anon hate.

I didnt mean to start the onslaught but apparently I caused it.

Just recently I went back to where I used to volunteer. I found out that apparently she had gotten online hate and had a decline in mental health. She quit her job and quit volunteering and ended up voluntarily admitted herself to a psych hospital. She is out now, and apparently doing good, but she has stated how she almost died during that time.

I never intended for that to happen and feel bad. My twin says I didnt even send hate and that I couldn't control what other people did.

So aita?

What are these acronyms?

[kenlvry]

reader as kennys, tweeks, and butters older sibling!!

an: someone requested this but i accidentally deleted the request i panicked so bad and im sorry!!! butters colour is only on laptop and my laptop is at home rn so for now butters is

gn btw!

kenny mccormick

you and kenny were inseparable even though you were a year older than him you would still talk to him during recess, even sometimes dropping by his class to annoy mr garrison. when things got tough at home esp when mom and dad is fighting you and kenny would always protect kevin and karen, you two are the most sane people in that house fr.

you were always protective of kenny and would travel to the world and back for him, when he introduced his friend group to you, you were..... shock to be honest. esp the one whos a disrespectful racist sexist person who mocks the jew friend. the others was decent, the most normal friend out of the three of them is definitely kyle, you'd trust your little brother anywhere with kyle. but with cartman? you might have to spy a little.

you sometimes hang out with them! just to protect kenny of course, they dont mind tbh. but you were worried on how stan thinks of you because whenever he sees you he pukes, you tell your little brother but he says to not worry and laughs abt it, you wonder whats so funny about it??

sometimes kenny also follows you around with your friend group, they dont mind, they think hes the most cutest thing ever. they would surround him and compliment him, he definitely likes it.he was protective of karen and you were protective with kevin, you two always try your best to support your other siblings. doing extra shifts just to buy them toys they never got as a kid.

whenever kenny wants to do something you were always there to support it, it doesnt matter how stupid and dangerous it was, you were there to help him no matter what.

you dont remember when kenny dies so whenever he does you'd go livid, you'd cry all day and mom wasn't helping either. who was going to help you support the other two now? who's gonna accompany you when you feel like getting food? you were crying 10 buckets but then just like that you were okay, you didnt even know what you were bitching about.

in conclusion he's definitely your bestest friend. even if he kills someone you'd defend him with your life, you'd do anything for your little bro.

tweek tweak

ever since tweek was born you'd swore with your life to protect him, he was the cutest thing ever, everyone calls you the perfect older sibling. you were two years older than him, 6th grade.

you were really famous amongst the school, everyone liked and respected you. anyone knows that if they mess with tweek, they mess with you. you'd act all tough infront of your friends but then your lil bro came along and you were all soft petting his head comforting him, giving him coffee candy to calm his nerves. almost every 6th grader loved tweek bc of his older sibling.

at home if he had a panic attack or would get really anxious you'd calm him down with coffee (that you bought yourself so no weird shit in it) you knew what your parents put in his drinks thats why you always tell him to only drink your coffee and not to drink them, he doesn't get it and would still drink it but only if he is realllllyyyy stressed out, he trusts your opinions

he trusts you alot, if he gets worried about north korea attacking again you would def help him.

every morning when he buttons his buttoned up wrong you wanted to help but he'd freak out, boy hasn't had his morning coffee of course he's freaked out. you'd forget to fix it by then so you just let it be.

you love him so much and wouldn't ask for any different younger brother, and he is very grateful to have a older sibling as nice as you.

leopold "butters" stotch

butters was the sweetest angel and the best younger sibling you could ask for, although you hated your parents you cared for him so much.

whenever your troubling with something he'd always try to help out anyway he can even though he cant help but he'd try anyways. you hated how unfair your parents was towards butters, he'd get grounded for the stupidest shit and you always argue to your dad about how unfair he's being but instead you'd get grounded too.

you always took the blame for him because he's still a kid and needs to enjoy the outside world, not be cooped up in his room. everytime that eric cartman tricks your sweet angel brother to do something stupid, you hold in the urge to murder some 4th grader, you try talking him out of it but he insisted saying cartman was a good person and hes a good friend, oh how naive butters was

he was very grateful to you and whenever he had doubts about something you are the first person he'd go to, it didnt matter how stupid the doubt was you are always trying to help your sweet younger brother <333

[rocksibblingsau]

Do you ever think about how they let a toddler join a boy band? A boy band that was a toxic environment and too much pressure that even teenagers couldn't handle? That had those same teenagers and toddlers do contless interviews, photoshoots and change the way they acted, looked and were just for the hyphotetical imagens fans had of them?

Because I do, I know it just a silly and cheerful children's film but I also think about how this same film opened with those teenagers feeling so mistreated and wronged they literally left their entire civilization, community and family behind just so they shouldn't be treated the same way by anyone else. And John Dory, who I know was implied (which I fully view that as my headcanon btw) to be a child taking care of four other children with only the help of an elderly lady, I do in fact love and sympathize with him. But I also trully need him to be mercyless beaten up by his brothers with hammers, like actually. There only so much headcanons and fic-lore the fandom can put in me before I go back to the movie where John Dory is always implied to be the one who is mostly if not the only one fully in the wrong, buddy was telling a toddler and younger teens that if they werent perfect they were literally nothing and then, left them all for years after they didnt want to be in his band anymore. Like dude, no wander his brothers thought he was still stuck on the perfect family harmony and wanted nothing more than go back to being their boss...

Anyways, writing my bruce and branch fic was been great! Im totally not crying and extemely emotional over the hyphotetical emotions of a bunch of 6 inch tall cartoon creatures. At least I got a excuse to write mom lore before Spruce and John give their last show's fight a run for its money.

I do, especially the fact that Branch likely doesn't have a lot of memories of his brothers not related to the band :)

Don't mind that smiley face, I'm not doin' nothin :)

Anyway yeah it's extremely sad that Branch was still in diapers and he was performing. Despite the fact that he only did that one live show, he was clearly in the public eye enough/involved in music making as he was on their albums and had a boyband persona long enough to have done the whole perm/frosted tips/attempt to do both.

One thing I've seen some people do is say that there was likely external pressure as well and when you consider that the BroZone situation likely took place during the era of Trollstice you really gotta think. It can shatter DIAMONDS. What would it do to say... an iron cage and some stone buildings? Maybe it wasn't John Dory's main goal, but you've gotta admit a perfect family harmony would have likely been a turning point for trolls and it's possible that everyone at that show was sure they were about to witness the end of Trollstice.

The knowledge that me and my siblings could hypothetically end countless deaths would have me acting up too.

[eclipse-rain]

Fwel Tsaheylu (Broken Bond) Part 4

☆☆☆

Part 1 •Part 2 •Part 3

Masterlist~

Once when i was younger i had an accident.

I did something wrong.

What it was is hardly relevent now, insignificant as it was, but at the time it felt as if my small world was collapsing.

My eldest brother, the one i was the weakest to, ended up fixing the situation and my parents never found out it had ever taken place. But to this day my heart still races whenever someone questions how i got the faint scar on the palm of my hand.

As a child who accidentally cut my hand with a blade my first instinct should have been to cry, to ask for help, to tell my mom or dad.

My first instinct instead, was to hide.

To hide my problem. To hide my mistake, my imperfection.

We hide when we dont feel safe. When being seen was unsafe.

As a young uneducated child I somehow felt that sharing my authentic emotion was not going to be safe.

Authenticity and attachment are two equally important needs for a child but if they had to pick one or the other a child would most likely sacrifice authenticity to keep attachment.

This is because we need attachment from our caregivers as children for survival.

This is shown even in animals. Show any kind of weakness and you could be abandoned by your flock. Or in my case, my family and or clan, my safety net.

Mabey this is the cause for the way i distenced myself from anything my young self deemed wrong, unworthy.

My cause for distencing myself from anything human.

If i look back on my younger self now i would not be able to find compassion for the person i was or the situation i endured.

However, if i pictured my siblings being in any of the same circumstances that would be a diffrent story.

You could wonder what happened to a child to make them feel so unsafe to show their own emotions and yet the answer wouldnt be a simple one. Neither would the healing process.

I dont know why or what any of this means, ive never been good at or able to read my own emotions properly.

But i had always been told in my clan that i had a certain air about me.

At first i thought this was because the other na'vi people in the clan thought i was more human like than na'vi, like how they thought of my twin brother. This thought was soon pushed away however because of how i would hear my grandmother often say the same thing about me to my mother and father.

I knew it ment something diffrent then because my grandmother would never say anything harmful about me, much less to my father who was once human before becoming one of the people and Toruk Macto.

Than again, this realization didnt help in figuring out what they had ment otherwise at all. I could only guess, only assume, but never confirm and i would not be one to ask.

I would not be a bother, i would not be a burden, i would not be unworthy of my parents love.

However when i landed on that warm silky sand. The sand of the metkayina clans bay where they dwelled i finally figured out what my previous clan members and grandmother had ment.

~~~

My family had gone ahead of me to the place the metkayina clan dwelled.

We had been forced to fly in last nights storm as we were only a little ways off from where the metkayina clan stayed and father wanted us to power through one last time. During this one of Tuks posessions had been blown away and in my haste i had promised her i would look for it after the storm had passed in an attempt to calm down the destraught child.

I was now flying solo on the calm warm wind currents beyond the reef trying to find the thing that i knew i had no chance of actually finding.

My father had reassured me before hand that we would find safety and a place to rest with the Metkayina people so that i would not need to fear being separated from them even if we did not arrive together.

I had the coordinates, the directions, the knowledge and the talent to handle myself. My mother had been worried and tried to do it herself or have Neteyam go instead but even she knew that at this stage everyone was exhausted from the extensive journey.

One we had never done before and hoped would never have to again. This was something my father was trying to reassure us of by finding a place within the Metkayina clan.

My father knew i would be fine, he knew i was capable of handling myself. I just hoped i believed in myself as much as he did about this.

When you grow up the way i did, in the forest, constantly surrouded by danger, constantly needing to be alert, you develope certain instincts. Gut feelings and sharper sences. I could pride myself on these instincts, the ones i had, they kept me safe and out of danger.

It was something that was built into my body through time, through trial and error. Watching and learning, learning from my mistakes and bettering myself. I may not be as connected with the forest as Kiri but i sure as hell made it so i would know what was going on around me when i was in it. To not only further improve myself to gain my parents aproval and recognition but also to protect myself and my siblings.

This was one of the main reasons my father was so addament to send me. Also because of the whole insident that made us all have to flee our home in the first place. The incident where my siblings were captured by humans in avatar bodies, putting knives to their throats and even going so far as to kidnap Spider who was also human.

If i had been with them at that time i would have, for one, been in my right mind as to not do something stupid like that, which might be the reason they didnt have me come along with them. And i also would have known especially to not bring Tuk along while doing it. But also i would have been able to sence something was wrong, that someone was coming. Hear twigs snapping in an unnatural way, the sound of footsteps indicating how many people were headed our way.

How heavy they were, how tall they were, if they were trying to sneak up on us all or not and which direcrion they were coming from. I would be able to sence all these things. I had taught myself to, spending countless hours alone in the forest training myself while also practicing everything my mother had taught me and everything i had witnessed while observing others, which i had absorbed like a sponge.

My father might have been giving me a chance to prove myself to my mother like how my brothers yearned to prove themselves to him. Rather, to me, i didnt think it would do much but tire me out even more than i already was. And if i was unlucky enough i could even get stranded if my bond with my ikran started acting up again.

Having said that, we were only a little ways off from our destination so this had put my mind at ease about doing it. It seemed to calm my mothers mind as well, who seemed the least willing to let me part with them. It was also reassuring to her and, although i wouldnt admit it, to myself as well, that father had told me to catch up to them after a day and no later even if i had not found what i was sent looking for.

"Wow great idea, make a promise to your little sister to do something dumb when you both know you never break a promise" i said to myself out loud as there was now no one around to hear me.

Technically i never said i would find the thing, only look for it, but now i felt the need to find it before returning or it would nag at my conscience everytime i looked at tuks pouting face. As i knew she would be sulking about it for the next week at least and that wouldnt do after she was already sad enough having to leave her home.

The leather seat of my ikrans saddle burned into the sides of my legs from the extensive riding. I was sure that if i hadnt been wearing my riding pants that i would have had cuts lining my thighs from all the sharp turns i had to make in and around rock formations i had seen too late.

I definitely had burns from the leather because of all the jerking left and right of my ikran i had to do. I had been anxious the whole time we were riding, just waiting for my bond with my ikran to give out and for us both to go tumbling out of the sky together. My family would find out and- oh i couldnt even think about it any further.

But thankfully my ikran had held up and i got comfortable enough to have Tuk sit with me, to take her off my mothers hands, when i felt less anxious that we could possibly fall.

After a while of searching for Tuks posession i was lucky that i had found it and even more so that nothing bad had happened with my ikran or bond while i had been alone and separated from my family.

I had memorised the directions my father had explained and even written down for me and followed them to a tee. I soared over head flying lower to the sea than usual, trying not to give off a threatening posture as i arrived upon my destination.

I arrived in the early morning a day later than the rest of my family to the residence of the Metkayina clan. I saw many of the clans members working and doing chores around as i flew high above them.

They called out to me and i responded in as much of a friendly and non-threatening manner as i could in turn.

Even though my father had reassured me that the Metkayina clan would take them in the day before, i could not help but worry that they might have been turned away and i would have to go in search of them.

Although going in search of my family didnt seem very likely since i knew that even if they were turned away my father would have at least barginned with the Metkayina clans leaders for them to stay at least until i returned.

And when i did return if they could be so kind as to show hospitality until we were rested enough to continue our journey and move on to possibly the next nearest clan or whatever else father and mother had in mind.

When i finally landed on the bay of where the Metkayina clan dwelled i hopped off the back of my ikran onto the warm sand down below. It was an odd and new feeling but not one that was uplesant. What was really unpleasant was the way the people of the clan gathered around me immediately like a hawk to prey, looking at me like i was a meal.

We had learned all about the leaders of the Metkayina clan and how fierce they were before we departed, their Olo'eyktan Tonowari and especially their Tsahik Ronal. We had also learned about their children, the youngest Tsireya and the eldest and heir Ao'noung. This knowledge was deemed necessary for us to have by father if we were to ever make a good first impression or find our place in a diffrent clan.

When i felt their eyes roaming my body as if to look for any weakness they could find and exploit i did as i always would in these situations. I had observed many a time how my mother and father dealt with affairs and how they and other senior members of the clan showed their authority. But since i was suposed to keep a friendly attitude as my father had said i toned it down a bit, simply blocking out any and all ways i could appear weak to my new clan.

Shoulders down and back. Chin up. Hold your head high. Keeping your tail and ears stiff, dont let them twitch, dont move them. Dont fiddle or figet with your hands or anything else. Dont let the gleam in your eyes waver as they stare you down, soaking in every aspect of your being, even if you feel as if your awaiting death row.

And that was it. They backed off. The hungry gleam in their eyes faded out. Usually they relaxed back into themselves and carried on with what they were doing, mostly just ignoring me afterwards. Thats what the people in my clan did when i put up this version of my shield as they had grown used to the flame i had, the fire my heart contained. But the people here were not used to me, they seemed even slightly tense after the gleam had left their eyes, their confidence with it.

'Maybe this is what Grandmother had ment' i thought to myself as i witnessed the situation that played out before my eyes.

Instead of dropping and relaxing their shoulders completly they looked almost scruched up slightly as if I were the one who made them recline into themselves instead of the other way around like they thought it would be.

Yes. I was sure of it now. This is what my Grandmother had ment.

The spark im my heart. The one that i kept under wraps, contained, but that yearned to be set free, that yearned to rage a blazing fire. It peaked its head out at moments, moments like these and when it did it demanded respect. It could enrapture peoples attention and in turn their own hearts.

If only i could use it to its fullest, my fullest potential. But alas, i had to be careful. Be careful so as not to lose control of that spark, of that fire and burn away what i yearned to keep close. What was most precious even over my own heart, my soul, my own true self.

Soon enough a boy who looked around about my age passed through the crowd as they made a clear path for him to walk through. I assumed him to be the first born and heir of the clan, like my eldest brother had been of our former clan.

I had seen him arrive a little earlier then wence he approched me but he seemed to be looking on from afar and observing the situation, possibly seeing how i would react and if i would recline into myself or step up to the challenge. Thats what his eyes were telling me, they were hungry like the others had been and they still were after seeing my 'little performance'.

As he approched i put my hand to my head and brought it downwards lightly as a sign of respect. I had expected him to make some sly remark, even though i had always been told to 'never judge a book by its cover' by my father, but to my surprise, although i didnt show it, he returned my gesture in full.

His eyes still told an entirely diffrent story and i was far too used to that look to fall for it at this age. Yes, I'd play along. We could be civilised to each other as of right now, but in that moment i could tell with every ounce of my being that we both had the same thought.

'If you so much as step one foot out of line you'll answer to me'

Preditor had met preditor head on and prey hid for their lives. Of course this was all coated underneath a layer of politeness for the sake of peace and friendship. For the chance that would be given to the other until it was knowingly going to be broken one way or the other.

But he didn't know me. He didnt know what game he was playing, what game he was getting himself into. He had no idea what kind of self control i had. And if you havent already gathered from what you've read so far, I'll tell you, its a whole fuxking lot.

I could play the long game, the fun part was just watching how long he could keep up.

My attention was captured as my youngest sister ran up to me eagerly followed by my parents one after the other. They had heard word of my arrival after having kept look out for me for all of the time i was gone. Tuk started to search my body for her possession before she started jumping around when i returned it to her. Quickly there after, she hugged the lower half of my body as if she was latching onto me for dear life. I was embraced multiple times by my parents as well before i was hauled off to help my three other siblings who were setting up our new sleeping area.

As i went to see my new living quarters for the first time, with a new outlook on the situation i was thrust into with the rest of my family, i had a final thought.

'Maybe my new home wont be so bad after all'

~~~

Oh boy was i wrong. So very wrong.

I was standing waste deep in the water off the bay where the Metkayina clan resided. The first day of arrival had been given to my family for rest but i didnt get to indulge in that pleasure as we were quickly thrust into learning the ways of the Metkayina people. Today my siblings and i would be learning how to ride an ilu guided by Tsereya, Ao'nung and their friend Rotxo's instruction.

Apart from the semi-welcome, semi-unwelcome welcoming my family had recieved upon arrival they had not been hesitant to tech us all their ways and i was now starting to find my way here. Tuk had picked it up fast with Tsereya as her mentor and Kiri was a natural as usual without any instriction nessecary. My elder brothers Neteyam and Lo'ak had been taken to another area away from the rest of us to learn from Ao'nung and Rotxo. I wondered how they were doing and if it was going as well as how my sisters and i were doing.

Us three got lucky. Tsireya was a gentle soul. She was very kind and made sure to look after Tuk as the youngest. I cringed when i thought back to how my younger sister Kiri had informed me after my arrival, while snickering, that our older brother Lo'ak had eyes on her from the moment they had landed. She seemed to like him too, much to his delight. I would be happy to have her as my sister if it turned out that way but felt sorry if she was going to get stuck with my troublesome twin in the process.

With Tsireyas guidance i had picked up how to ride an ilu fairly quickly. It wasnt as hard as i thought it was going to be. I was nervous that i wouldnt get it right at the start, especially since about every joint in my body still ached from my extra long flight, but Tsireya made it feel more fun than like a chore.

As i first sat myself down onto the saddle of the ilu i stroked his head and leaned down to whisper to him a silent prayer. Wheather it was to the ilu, myself, Eywa or all three i wasn't completely sure.

'Please, please work. Keep on being normal like you have done so for the past few days.'

The ilu chittered in response, most likely not understanding me at all but it felt somehow reassuring even so.

Nothing had gone wrong over the past few days and i was starting to actually grow uneasy instead of being happy about it. It was almost like the calm before the storm and everyone knows how that scenario ends.

After Tsireya helped Kiri onto her ilu she had gone off on her own without a hitch, Tsireya then went to help and guide Tuk after making sure i could handle myself as the eldest there.

"I will stick beside Tuk the whole time, as she is a child. Please feel free to go off on your own and dont be burdened" she had said

"Yes, thank you" i replied after hoisting myself up onto the ilu i was given

It was definitely a new feeling, like the sand had been. Although it was not unpleasant, it did give me a certain anxiety. It was a joint mix of wheather or not my bond would work, if i could hold my breath long enough and if i could steer it properly because it was not my ikran.

But i was also partly excited. Excited to see the world below, like i knew Kiri was. She only had one thing on her mind ever since father had told us where we were heading for our destination.

Deciding to follow her i had my ilu go forward just like Tsireya had taught us to do. I wanted to see the look on my younger sisters face as she witnessed all her dreams about this place become real. And what a sight to behold it was. The way the water wrapped around me so tightly as i made my decent down into the depths below made me feel safer than i ever did in the forest.

It felt like being swaddled in a big blanket and as if none of my worries could reach all the way down here, just like how it felt when i would fly for hours on end up in the sky on my ikran. I saw Kiri off on her own not too far away, admiring the scenery and playing with little fish and other underwater animals i hadn't seen before that passed us by.

Down here the water was crystal clear and the sun danced off of every surface it touched making a kaleidoscope of patterns along them. I watched kiri as she let her body sway with the flow of the water as she rode her ilu, i copied her mannerisms and found how much easier it made riding my ilu properly already.

I let the water guide me as i passed under her, scanning the ocean floor and tracing my long slender fingers across any shells i saw in passing. I looked back and noticed kiri following me doing much the same thing. She noticed me and we both shared a smile as i could tell in that moment that we also shared the same feeling in or hearts.

Until mine was spiked by anxiety.

I couldn't breath. I had been intending to go up for air soon but now i couldn't breath for another reason. The calm before the storm. I knew it would never last, i was now in that storm. I could feel myself losing control once again and i almost screamed at myself in rage, losing any breath i still had.

With what control i had left over my tsaheylu with my ilu i rushed towards the surface as fast as i could, leaving Kiri behind. I felt my ilu thrashing around as it was loosing my guidance and instruction but we eventually broke the suface of the water. I felt the buring in my lungs cease as i gasped in the air i was presented with.

I quickly detached my que from my ilu and broke the bond. My ilu gradually calmed down with just a few pats and strokes from myself and began chittering away to itself once again in no time.

Kiri broke through the water not even a minute later. After following me to the surface she had an odd look on her face.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah i just needed a breather, you know?" I replied to her questioning, noticeably out of breath as my heart raced a million miles a minute.

"Me too. It's hard to hold your breath for that long. We still need to get used to some things here."

"Yeah..." i was glad i didnt have to be the one to explain myelf, she seemed to have covered all the excuses i had whipped up in the minute i had to think about what i might say. It wasn't exactly like i was lying though, i really was planning on going up to gather my breath anyway.

I was just witholding a small piece of information that wasnt necessary to give her at all. It would only stress her out.

Tsireya and Tuk had joined us not long later to catch their breath as well and with that we all joined back up with the boys for a joint lesson on breathing.

The sun was setting behind us as exlipse was drawing nearer and we all sat in a circle to focus on the techniques shown to us by the kids of the Metkayina clan. By now with todays techings we had all picked up the basic nessecities of the skills we needed to not be a nuisance to the Metkayina clan while staying with them from here on out.

Thanks to these techings i learned how to hold my breath for longer which was a good experience except for the fact that i had to sit next to Lo'ak and witness as he spluttered nervously like a love struck fool when Tsireya so much as touched him.

I looked over at Kiri and made a face before we both erupted in fits of giggles, working hard to stifle our laughter so as not to embarrass our brother any more than he was doing so on his own. The day faded away into eclipse with laughter and hearts that were full.

I know i said i was wrong about thinking staying here wouldn't be so bad after all but...

Thats not the bad part.

In fact everything started off relatively normal. Everyone was kind and happy but i wonder if that really all was just a facade. Just a layer of politeness over everyones real feelings for the sake of diplomacy. I couldn't tell what the future held then, but even if i tried i sure as hell wouldn't have guessed in a million years.

Though it did start going downhill the way i always knew it would. Because there would always be people who saw us, my family, my siblings and even i as less then na'vi, as human, as alien.

My brother, my twin, being treated as live fish bait and what was i doing? Absolutely nothing. I should have been there for him, i shouldnt have let that happen and even worse he took the blame for all of it. For that a$$hole Ao'noung who started this whole mess and i bet didnt even thank my brother in return for covering for him.

Our parents might not have been able to tell Lo'ak was covering for Ao'noung or maybe they did but they didnt see what had happened themselves so they just had to take the word of the one owing up to it. Either way i knew my brother and even if i had not seen what had happened between the two of them or outside the reef where he was attacked i wouldnt believe his pretty lies.

He was not the type to own up, as much as it pains me to say, our older brother was always the one to stick up for him. And even when he did Lo'ak would never retaliate and say it was his fault and not our elder brothers, letting him take the blame as he pleased. I knew my twin did not do this because it came from a bad place, because he had a bad heart, but because he was scared.

I knew that much, we were twins after all, like i said before, it would be wierd if we didnt have at least a couple things in common. But i suppose i wouldnt know as much as i used to about him now, we had grown more separated than we used to be. I take the responsibility for that due to my own fear. We both feared the unknown, he feared failure and letting people down and so did i.

Mabey we were, are, more alike than i had previously thought. As we grew further apart i started to think that we never really had anything in common but how would i really know since we never talked deeply about anything. We didnt confide in each other, we didnt know what the other was thinking and somethimes i wondered or even hoped that he might feel the same as me.

Only this time in a diffrent way. I thought it might be the case when we all saw him return safely, he owned up and my father said the harshest words he could have to him.

"You dishoner this family"

I could only imagine how my brother was feeling but as for me i felt them in my soul. We are twins so i could assume Lo'ak felt the same, only much worse since he was the one those words were directed at.

But they made me feel sick to my stomach, when i heard those words it dropped straight down and then lurched upwards like i was being spun around and around. This was because we are twins, he is one half of me, the other half of me. I felt those words to my core and they whispered that i was next.

Sometimes i think theres something wrong with me.

I have both my parents and my siblings. Theyre all nice people and none of them have died. I have a nice home, a nice clan and a nice grandmother. I have people who will support me through anything. So when i see them in front of me i know i should feel something...but i dont.

These are the people who raised me, who are my parents, who love me. They gave me a home and shelter, they fed me and protect me. They are the people i call to when i have a problem that i cant fix on my own or when im sick because i need thay sense of familiarity. Because they are my safety net. The only safety i know, they always have been.

So i know i should love them, i should reciprocate these feelings...but i dont. I look at them and i feel nothing. I think ive been tricking myself into thinking that i really do feel something, that i really love them and that i dont feel like its just because they were the only ones who protected me as i grew up. Because i had no choice in the matter and no one else to give me that sense of familiarity and safety.

And when i came to realise this, that i had been tricking myself, living in my own ignorance and delision, i started to act...started to lie. I thought 'well if i can trick myself what would be so hard about showing that emotion outwards and making life better for everyone else with a little white lie'.

'Lying is a form of love'.

With this white lie people would then begin to say 'you look happier as of late', 'you smile more now', 'you've changed', 'im glad your finally opening up to us'...

No. Its a lie. Its all a lie!

This isnt the real me.

Its just the me that keeps the peace, keeps the balance, keeps a sembalance of normality and familiarity because im scared of letting go, im scared of the outcome and im scared of hurting others even when i dont mean to. But how can i help it if its what i really feel, if its the real me, I cant help it, i dont know whats wrong with me....so i just lie instead. Its the better option...for everyone, everyone but me.

You often times hear how mothers or fathers do not feel connected with their child after its birth. They feel nothing towards this child and feel great grief over it, knowing they should feel all these diffrent emotions toward their child. They think somethings wrong with them but then over time as they are around the child more and watch it grow they learn to connect to the child, to love it. They watch them become their own person and the cycle might continue once that child becomes an adult and has children of its own, it has done so with many others.

I feel like that too. Can it be the same thing but the opposite way around, with the child being the one who wants to learn to love their parents? It wasnt always like this, i think i used to love them but my memories of my childhood have all faded into one big blur. I cannot recall any memories save for a few that have impacted me the most and only these i recalled recently or have kept with me and never once have left my mind. So i want to learn how to love them again, not just for them but also for me.

Lying and acting go hand in hand. One cannot exist without the other. You lie to act and you act to lie.

Thats the way i see it. Because i have known no diffrent. I do not know how to portray my feelings, my emotions, outwardly...not the real ones at least. So i lie. I lie and i act and i lie some more. Over and over and over again until i get twisted up in this web, this net of lies and fall down the rabbit hole until i dont even remember what i was like before. Before the lies, before all of it.

I dont know who the real me is anymore. But there is one thing i know, one thing i cant do.

Imagine this ; your going to bed at night and your parent comes to see you off one final time before you fall into your dreamland, and they say 'goodnight, sleep tight', 'see you in the morning', 'I love you'.

All the normality in the world, all the feelings and safety that should make you feel happy but all you feel instead is grief. Grief at yourself for only being able to reply back with a 'Okay' or 'Night' or a 'See you tomorrow' but never being able to utter the words 'I love you'. Because they carry so much weight to you, so much raw emotion that you cannot let escape from your being in fear. Pure fear of the unknown, of what will happen if you put these feelings on display, for the whole world to see.

Its not that i hate them, my parents, i just need to relearn how to let love win over fear, let them take my worries so i can love without restraint. Its like my heart is aching to be let out of its confinments within my chest where its tamed and trained to let the outershell act and lie while it rots away my entire being from the inside out.

Because 'I love you' are the only words i cannot speak out loud.

They are the only words i cannot bring myself to lie.

☆☆☆

@jakesully-sbabygirl @dreamsholdpowers @alohastitch0626 @1ntefly @arminsgfloll @bobojojoba69 @bucky12345 @destinylb @exactlyhappyflower @eternallyvenus @heart-an0n

(Everyone who used to read this is gone by now just watch😭✋)

[ashesandhackles]

HP Reread - Order of Phoenix (Part 3)

Chapter 25, 26,27,28 - OOTP

Antonin Dolohov murdered the Prewett brothers. He will later kill Remus. He is repeatedly implied to be a very deadly Death Eater, and it is his slashing spell that will hurt Hermione in the climax of OOTP.

Harry feeling horrified and guilty at Bode's death: "How come we didnt recognise the Devil's Snare? We have seen this before, we could have stopped this from happening":(

Hermione deciding to send Skeeter a letter due to the seriousness of the breakout, and how much there is need to change the narrative. lol at her being vague with her plans that makes Ron grumble: "would it kill her to tell us what she is up to?"

Lee being an absolute king in trying to turn Umbridge's decree against her. However, he gets a bleeding hand for his effort and Harry has to recommend him essence of murtlap (an info Lee relays to Fred and George, which helps their products)

Neville improving in DA classes so unnervingly that he is only behind Hermione in mastering the Shield Charm.

LOLLL the entire scene at Puddifoot, where Harry feels like if Roger and his girlfriend kept kissing, he would be expected to compete. And then he looks up to avoid looking at them (or Cho), and cherubs throw confetti in his face.

Harry grabbing the sugar bowl when Cho takes her hand off the table. Harry laughing when he finally understands that Cho is jealous of Hermione. Oh god. The second hand embarrassment is real.

Hermione cornering Rita is such fun. XD I love that she makes use of resources at hand - even if she doesnt think much of the Quibbler herself. (Also, she took Sirius' advice, and kept the meeting in Three broomsticks instead of Hog's Head).

The breakout had gifted Harry a desire to do something, and he talked about the most traumatic night of his life so far to a journalist he did not trust on account of that. This also shows his faith in Hermione's facilitation of his need for justice. These two will be scary in the Ministry together.

also, Hermione knowing that Ginny has been sneaking around with their brooms since she was 6, and her implicit criticism of the way people talk about Ron: "at least my happiness doesnt depend on goalkeeping ability"

"You are banned as long as Umbridge is in the school" - Ginny's association with hope, with future, and comfort.

Angelina not letting Ron resign and Harry giving Ron the space to go to bed and pretend to sleep if he needed to <3

Harry being impressed with Ginny's performance and then going, "I would have been faster tho" the audacity of this boy XD

"An interview? What do you mean?" "I mean a reporter asked me questions and I answered her" and Harry throws the Quibbler at her. LMAO.

Cho apologising to Harry:"The interview was so brave, it made me cry" and Harry wishing that she hadnt cried over it. Ugh, this compellingly messy dynamic.

This is such a hard book for Harry. Being so afraid that you would wake up and look like Voldemort. He bites down to not make any noise during his visions, just because Seamus had recently stopped seeing him as a nutter.

Snape once again projecting on Harry - he brings up the idea that Harry seeing dreams and visions of Voldemort makes him feel "special, important". And Harry reflects it back to him, "No, that's your job, isnt it?" "That is my job." Stop your power struggle with a 15 year old Snape XD

Harry did it! He focused on Snape in between memories, and pushed him back with a protego! And Harry sees Snape memories: that imply a domestic abuse situation in his house (hook nose man shouting at a cowering woman while a boy cried in corner), a clear case of neglect (Snape shooting down flies in a room), and a sense of injured masculinity (a girl laughing at a scrawny boy's attempt to get ona bucking broomstick). Snape pushes Harry back at the last memory, and I wonder if that girl was Lily.

Snape also compliments this, "Well that's an improvement. I dont remember asking you to do a Shield Charm, but it was no doubt, effective."

The lesson end at Trelawney's screaming, Snape runs out and so does Harry. Sneaky parallel.

I really love the description of Trelawney to set the scene. My favorite descripton is her innumerable shawls were coming down from shoulders giving the impression "she is falling apart at the seams."

Dumbledore appointing Firenze is such a power move Imao.

a twinkling red star winked at him - reference to Mars, which consistently shows up in text again and again with Harry. Firenze brings attention to this, and the fact that Harry is directly under it is nice way in text to remind us there is a war coming.

"There are things more important than keeping a job" and Hagrid's hands shake. Because this job has been something he wanted, something his name was cleared for.

We get to know that Marietta's mother has been helping police Hogwarts fires, and Willy Widdershin of the regurgitating toilets was let off after he gave info on Harry.

Percy laughing at Fudge's sarcasm, and Harry for the first time expresses anger towards Percy in his internal monologue. Before he was just shocked and confused.

Kingsley modifiying Marietta's memory, to corroborate with Dumbledore's story. That man is quick. He did it immediately after Dumbledore says they can't prove 6 months worth of meetings.

ooh, it is implied that Fawkes' singing kept the four unconscious on the floor and the moment Fawkes leaves with Dumbledore, they are all awake.

Fred and George sending Montague into Vanishing Cabinet and how Montague gets out (nearly killing himself by Apparating) and gives Malfoy the information needed for the plot of HBP.

Snape the nerd, writing foot long answers. I love how much teenage Snape's body language is entirely different from adult Snape, and how much the adult Snape is a construction. Teenage Snape will lie on grass and scream hexes and swear words at you.

James literally traces and embellishes Lily's initials like a dork lol.

I deep dive into Marauder dynamics in chapter here.

"Wormtail was the only one who didnt laugh" : how cute is it that Remus laughs at his own dry joke XD

There is a strong theme of masculinity in this chapter, and James is making a performance of it with the snitch, with messing up his hair and Harry notices that this is done for the girls by the lake. (Harry wondered why James doesnt tell Wormtail to get a grip, and Sirius does it few seconds later much more unkindlyXD)

The power dynamic of the scene is framed with description of Sirius as "dog who scented a rabbit" and underlines it further by Remus' implicit disapproval (that he avoids by staring into a book, my poor bean) and Peter's anticipation (Sirius line in POA comes to mind about how Peter was drawn to the biggest bully in the playground)

Interesting note about James: he uses household spells like Scourgify for an attack. I can imagine him being similarly creative later in the Order. (it gives me such ideas of Transfiguration being his fav subject)

Interesting to me that even though both James and Sirius are on the scene, it is James Lily is consistently addressing.

Snape attempts a workshop Sectumsempra on James' cheek (clearly not the fully developed version) and James turns around and uses Snape's own spell against him. This moment alone speaks to such history in this dynamic.

Lily's "10 things I hate about you" speech is interesting because she also noticed that he was playing with the snitch (something he had nicked). She was also watching him.

Snape, emasculated by the scene, tries to exert power over one thing he has power over: his friendship with Lily. He uses Lily's otherness in wizarding world to reclaim power in the scene, and Lily throws it back at him by calling him the nickname his bullies call him and commenting on his underpants (therefore his class otherness). Utter dissolution of a friendship.

Lily channels her hurt and frustration at Snape's rejection of her onto James when he tries to help, and does a "10 things I hate about you" speech.

James tries to deal with being rejected publicly by Lily by directing his anger at Snape and threatening to take his pants off, in line with masculinity theme of this chapter.

Harry making Dudley-James associations. He will integrate a more complicated view of his father in later chapters (where he associates James with Ron), but this moment, where Harry rejects hypermasculinity displayed by James (but is keen to not reject James himself), is an important moment of moral growth for Harry.

OOTP - Chapter 29,30, 31, 32,33

Cute trip opening scene when Hermione is drawing up colour coded timetable for the boys (and nagging Harry), Ron brightening at the thought of evenings off and Crookshanks trying to get Harry's attention since he is brooding.

Harry is not only questioning James' morality, he is also questioning Sirius' ('look at what he was like himself') and Remus ('he just let it happen'). Later in the chapter, he wonders - "did he want to be like his father anymore?"

looking at Mrs Weasleys easter eggs, a handsome one with snitches on them makes Harry feel emotional. The way chocolate is tied to comfort + longing and Mrs Weasley functioning as an echo of a home.

lmao the scene where Harry admits he wants to go to Umbridge's office is peak Hermione as mum, Harry as sulky teenager and Ron as Arthur to Hermione's Molly scene.

Harry is so hypervigilant in Snape's class for his taunts, it clearly affects his performance in class. Because Snape is ignoring him, he could whip up a decent E level potion (which ofc Snape shatters).

"He attacked Snape for no good reason - well just because you said you were bored" - the apologetic tone Harry says this in and Sirius' quick "I'm not proud of it" shows how careful they are with each other. It is a big step for Sirius to admit he is not proud of his behaviour (because 2 years before, he all but snarled "served him right"), and this is the influence of Harry's distress. Remus also notes this with a "sideways glance" at him. (Remus also, something he hasn't shied away from admitting, owns his own culpability but is also harsher with himself -"did i ever tell you to lay off him?" and Sirius tries to correct/comfort that with "you made us feel ashamed of ourselves")

Harry knowing Hermione's nagging face lolll ("she fixed Harry with a beady eye and opened her mouth with a determined air") and he just interuppts before she starts lol.

hermione predicting Ron will do well without Fred and George around to watch <3

"Kind of makes you wish we had Norbert back, doesn't it?" yes, Harry. Norbert would be far preferable. I really am not sure why we have a storyline where Dumbledore sends envoys to giants so they can have them as allies (as actual thinking beings with political weight) and then write an entire chapter about how Hagrid is stupid for trying to "civilise" Grawp with English lessons. Why are you writing marginalisation like this, where you validate how "savage" Grawp is? Just a book ago, there is critique on how giants face prejudice via Hagrid and Madame Maxime, but then you're like, "maybe the prejudice has some sort of weight cos giants are brutal actually".

Cant believe we get an entire chapter of this and not Ron's victory over Slytherins and in Quidditch.

More on the giant's rant that I have and my absolute loathing for this Grawp chapter: Hagrid's Tale is one of the few times Hagrid is allowed to act as a competent adult - going with Maxime off country to send envoys to giants. For once, he is not someone the trio constantly has to take care of or save from trouble (it's not something I particularly mind, but I do have a problem here - where there is an additional layer of the fact that Hagrid hasn't had formal education. This entire chapter - he is just made a joke of and it reinforces the prejudices wizarding world shouldnt be having)

I really love the opening scene of Ron basking in the glory of having won the match, and he sits under the very same beech tree rumpling his hair, and Harry grins affectionately at being reminded of his father. It shows that Harry is beginning to integrate parts of his father - from seeing him as Dudley at end of SWM to seeing Ron-like qualities in him.

Cho crying out of temper and kicking her broom away after Gryffindor won the match : what a competitive streak. Love it.

"Hagrid's monster mates" - once again, the narrative needs to pick what giants are meant to be.

Griselda Marchbanks, the one who resigned from Wizengamot in protest against the High Inquistor appointment, is apparently friends with Neville's gran. Daily Prophet snidely said she had links with "subversive goblin groups".

Harold Dingle and his powdered dragon claw and Eddie Carmichael and his brain stimulant trade XD

also ron mothering Hermione asking her to eat a decent meal so she can have good sleep <3

ooh, Hermione wondering if she did justice on Cheering Charms (its the lesson she missed in POA when she lost track of time). I wonder if not attending the actual class makes her feel nervous, and not like she had enough time with the information.

Umbridge's "nasty smile" when she sees Harry's patronus in DADA exam: a hint towards her actual involvement in sending Dementors after Harry.

The confrontation between Hagrid, Umbridge and McGonagall is beautifully written. Really love the atmosphere here with the use of lights from the castle, the hut, the moon over the darkness of the lawn to set up the mood of the scene. The moment McGonagall was lit by the stunning spells sent at her? Eerie.

Harry staring at Parvati's hair while sleep-deprived in history exam cos there was something gold in it. He sure likes shiny hair.

there is a question in history of magic exam about how legislation of wand: whether it better controlled the goblin riots in 18th century. The politics of this is brought up in Deathly Hallows, where griphook brings up how wizards have denied other creatures rights of expanding their magical powers by refusing to share wandlore.

Harry's sheer blinding panic and fear in this chapter hurts to read.

I actually really love how bad the communication is between Harry and Hermione in this chapter. Where, in her desperation to stop him, she calls out his "saving the people thing" in an effort to make him understand that Voldemort's playing into an instinct in Harry, and Harry obviously feels stupid about the way she calls it out and thinks she is criticising it as a an attention seeking thing. It makes him less sympathetic to her appeal that it could be a trap, but the scene anyway ends with him conceding to check with her and recognising her offer to come with him to Umbridge's office as "mark of loyalty."

Kreacher's hands are injured cos he injured Buckbeak. There was a lovely Tumblr post I read about this moment, about how combination of Sirius' indifferent cruelty (towards kreacher) and love (for Buckbeak, Harry) is what pushed him towards the events of his death. It perfectly captures his duality.

The conversation between Snape and Umbridge is hilarious. Snape offering his sympathies to Umbridge in case she wanted to poison Harry ("venoms act too fast to give victims time for truth telling"), the ironic bow before he leaves and telling Crabbe to loosen his hold on Neville because if he suffocates, there will be "lots of tedious paperwork" LOL.

Harry noticing that Hermione was not really crying immediately, and knowing that she is scheming XD These two will be a force in the Ministry. Imagine Harry looking at Hermione trapping someone ina courtroom and being like, "yeah, saw that one a mile away. Sucks to be you buddy."

Man, Hermione is having quite a day. Her inexperience with a plan she is making up as she goes along showed, as well as her putting her foot in her mouth. Umbridge is a threat she has known and assessed well, the centaurs, less so. She will grow from this in DH, when she makes bigger elaborate plans with failsafes on the spot. (For example, the Lovegoods escape)

Ginny being astonished that a herd of centaurs left Harry and Hermione behind - suggesting familiarity with the centaur ways. Interesting character note! (also how her and Luna also clearly pay attention in Care of Magical Creatures, as they both remind the trio of Thestral traits - that they are good for finding places riders are looking for, and Harry and Hermione being covered in blood will lure more of them). I wouldnt have paid attention to this detail without @whinlatter lovely WIP "Beasts".

Chapter 34, 35,36,37,38

Proof of Ron, Hermione and Ginny's loyalty and gutsiness: they are willing to ride an invisible horse for hours in the air to help Harry. (also Luna is so cute, sitting all in side saddle)

Harry thinking the veil had a strange beauty to it, and that he felt a strong inclination to walk through it is an indication of his fascination with death. He isn't the only one: Luna, Neville, Ginny are all similarly entranced. Only Ron and Hermione are not and they drag everyone away.

Sirius' knife, Harry's gift is melted by the Love Room in Department of Mysteries :(

Ginny wanting to watch the bird's progress is so cute. Such a lovely detail - I never noticed this interest in creatures before. But she consistently thinks in terms of animals, she even thought the brains they initially saw were fish. ("his eyes are as green as fresh pickled toad" anyone?)

how interesting that the Prophecy Hall is beyond the room full of Time-Turners.

interesting note of how some prophecies having liquid glow (Harry's felt warm as he touched it) and how some prophecies were blown out like a night bulb. Could indicate that the events they had foretold have come to pass etc.

I love during the entire conversation with Death Eaters, you can feel Harry being hypervigilant. He notices the shifts in Bellatrix speaking and makes decisions - once he speaks Voldemort's name, he holds the prophecy tighter because given that he riled her, he expected an attempt to take it from him. And then of course, he is very "improvise. adapt. overcome" with the plan to smash shelves.

Harry's athleticism shines in these chapters where he is elbowing and ducking around Death Eater attacks, launching himself on top of them, heaving Ron when he is out and flinging him when he needs to help the others, rolling over tables to get to doors quick XD

Neville kicking aside fragments of his father's old wand when he carries Hermione. It's his "I'm gonna be my own person not defined by my father's legacy" moment, a parallel to Harry's own in this book.

I love the tiny detail that Tonks is above on the steps, firing spells down at Bellatrix. The distance she keeps, and the detail of Bellatrix and Andromeda resembling each other to the point they could be mistaken for each other, adds such a layer to this detail.

Sirius and Bellatrix are so caught up in their battle that they dont even notice that Dumbledore had arrived. Speaks to their personal history and intensity of their duel.

Harry's child-like denial is utterly heartbreaking. The way he thinks that Remus doesn't understand because he had heard whispers behind the veil, and surely people are hiding there, and that Sirius is just hiding. It is the most child-like he has been and it breaks my heart.

Remus' voice breaking as he struggled to contain Harry, speaking as though every word caused him pain, or just not being able to look at the veil:(

The moment Harry is angry that Sirius would keep him waiting. It is such a childish, entitled reaction. The boy who never expects anything from his adult figures feels like he has the space to be mad at Sirius for keeping him waiting - and then realises, that Sirius would never keep him waiting. And that's how he knows Sirius is dead.

Harry laughing at Bellatrix right after Sirius' death ("a mad laugh to match her own"): the boy really is his godfather's godson.

Bellatrix loves Voldemort, but also fears Voldemort. The moment he comes - Sirius turns from the mocking "dear cousin" to "Animagus Black." She is super keen to distance herself from Sirius in front of him and it calls to the scene later in Deathly Hallows, where she claims she never laid eyes on Andromeda after she ran away.

"We both know there are other ways of destroying a man. Merely taking your life would not satisfy me, I must admit" - contrast this with Deathly Hallows, where Dumbledore leads Harry away from Voldemort's maimed soul in the limbo. Harry feels pity for it, and even tries to save Voldemort, but Dumbledore is beyond that and this scene conveys it.

"And I'll see Sirius again.." it's not only Harry's love for Sirius that drives Voldemort out of his body, but it is also his very raw desire for death. Something he wishes once again, when he is at his parents' graves. (it is this passive ideation that Hermione grasps at the grave and why Harry's desire for Resurrection Stone terrifies her)

"You've been chasing the wrong man for 12 months, it's time you listened to sense!" Dumbledore's feelings of Sirius' fate are also encapsulated in this line. He claims responsibility for Sirius' fate next chapter, but his anger and guilt at Sirius' death is clear here.

Harry's intense guilt and hatred for himself, where he had never before wished he was someone else so intensely, that he was trapped inside his body and mind. It is this guilt, even though he expresses them this chapter, that he will carry with him in HBP and it will come out in moments like strangling Mundungus for perceived disrespect to Sirius.

"I know how you're feeling Harry" "No you dont" : it is both Harry lashing out his intense self-hatred, but also his feelings of abandonment. In his mind, if Dumbledore understood his feelings, he would not have "abandoned" him through the summer or the year. So this moment of Dumbledore reaching out in solidarity after a year of freezing him out makes Harry angry.

Harry just demolishing his office, and Dumbledore remaining calm and detached through it, until Harry himself matches Dumbledore's tone to let him out. Such a well written scene.

The chapter is good illumination of how Dumbledore's distance/detachment and big picture thinking and how it hurts people: Dumbledore locking Sirius and Harry up (Harry shouting this back at him must be a painful reminder of his time with his sister), Snape not overcoming his feelings ("some wounds run too deep for healing").

"I alone could prevent this, and I alone must be strong" - How Dumbledore rationalises his decisions, the weight of the guilt he carries, the calculations he must make. # war general.

"He saw himself in you before he had ever seen you": Voldemort destroying everyone and everything that reminds him of who he is. Strange likenesses from Voldemort is not a compliment, when he wants to be extraordinary, special and unique.

Harry thinking that if only he had just pulled back the veil, he would have seen Sirius greeting him with a laugh like a bark :(

Dumbledore trying to repair Harry's feelings of abandonment by telling him why he didn't choose Harry as a prefect.

Fred and George sending Ron mountains of Chocolate frog after the Ministry fiasco to express their care, in a book where they were harder on him is <3

Ah, that subtle implication that Harry spent hours by the lake, crying about his godfather until the sunset. :( It is gorgeously subtle writing - him getting up at sunset, and wiping his face on his sleeve.

The way the book twists our innards with Harry opening Sirius' gift. :( and how Harry hopes again, and when the hope shatters, he throws the mirror. But it is the very same mirror shard, Sirius' gift that will enable Dobby to help the trio out of the manor, where Harry would ask for help because he saw a parental figure's eye (Dumbledore).

Luna validating Harry's feeling that they were just lurking out of sight, behind the veil and it is this connection with death and understanding of afterlife that comforts Harry. That he will see Sirius again.

[imkillerbae]

Dancing in the Dark (Part 2) (Valorant Yoru x Fem!Reader x Valorant Sova)

Part 1 Here.

Summary: You're confronted by Yoru about your lies and decides to have his way with you in a broom closet.

Words: 2k

CW: Crying, regret, FLUFF. Happy ending

(A/N: I was supposed to add a smut after this but got lazy so I didnt hence the broom closet AHAHA anyway here's the ending! REQUESTS ARE OPEN. Please send me ideas i am running out of ideas i beg) Listen to 'Dancing in the Dark' originally by Bruce Springsteen covered by LOLO for better experience.

The bottle of whiskey was barely drunk from, and you held the neck of it with a tight grip. You were glaring at the man in front of you, and he returned the look, although less hostile. Yoru tried to tug the bottom of the bottle from your grasp but you did not relent, pulling it towards yourself even more.

“You’re not planning to drink all of this yourself, are you?” You ask in annoyance.

“And what’s that to you?” He muses, raising his brows to taunt your question.

Sova’s birthday party was getting more and more unbearable for him, especially with the mind blowing news he received just moments ago. He needed to go numb, to just let his brain go blank even just for a moment. You weren’t helping the situation, because it was taking all his self-control not to drag you to the nearest broom closet and—

“I know how you get when you’re drunk.” You reply, looking at his shoulders rather than his eyes. He was much taller than you, something he liked to relish in.

You couldn’t help but intrude when you saw him heading for the bar, Sova walking the opposite direction of him. You didn’t see them talk but you could tell he didn’t like being around Sova anyways. And when he’s drunk, he gets a bit violent and destructive. Not the bad kind. He just becomes painfully unaware of how strong he is and just breaks things. During Phoenix’s birthday, they dared him to dance on top of the tables, and he broke them in half.

The tables were made from metal.

“I don’t think that’ll be any of your business.” He reaches for the bottle again, and you switch it between your hands, holding it out of his reach. “It is my business. Sage took extra effort to get this whole party perfect and I’m not gonna let you ruin it with your drunken antics,” you lied, trying to seem uncaring. He furrows his brows at you, his blood simmering under his skin. Ruin it? He would never. He didn’t even think of doing that at all. Not even slightly.

“Oh, sorry if my presence disturbs the party. Wouldn’t want your archer boyfriend to get upset right?” He taunts, trying to confirm what Sova told him before. Her heart is set on no one else but you.

You sigh and shake your head. “He’s not my boyfriend.” You say in defeat. He’s still hung up about it. Rephrase: he’s still hung up about nothing. Sova wasn’t anything to you other than a friend and a teammate. Why couldn’t he see that?

Yoru tries another time to grab the bottle from you and succeeds, your low mood affecting your reflexes. He pops the bottle open and drinks from the spout, not bothering to put it on the glass anymore. “Oh yeah, he’s a brother to you. Although brothers don’t usually confess their love to their sisters, but whatever floats your boat Y/N,” he glares after drinking, his voice full of spite that you almost shudder.

You stood in place, shocked. He knows? How? Did Sova tell him? But you agreed to keep it a secret. Your blood runs cold even with the alcohol in your veins. Yoru knows that he was right to be suspicious. And now he thinks you’ve cheated on him. “I-I…” You start, but he intrudes.

“Strange family dynamic but I’m not judging,” he laughs at his own joke, pushing your arm gently to get you out of your trance. “You lied to me Y/N. You lied to me about him, got me worried sick about you, and you tried to gaslight me into thinking I was wrong,” he smiles an empty smile at you, tossing the whiskey glass over the bar. You don’t hear it shatter, getting caught by the fine sand.

“Why did you have to lie to me?” He asks, shaking his head in disbelief. You clench your fists, looking down guiltily. You thought you could have gotten away with it. But in reality you knew he was bound to find out eventually. You just didn’t think it would be so soon.

“I-I’m so sorry Ryo… I-I thought it would be best you didn’t know! I know you would be mad at me for not seeing it, and angry at Sasha a-and confront him about it,” you start, tears forming and flowing down your cheeks and nose. He tilts his head to the side, listening intently. “I was told that if a fight broke out, one of you w-would be fired from the protocol, a-and I didn’t want to lose you…” You grab your own arm and squeeze, trying to get yourself together.

“Y-you were right, a-and I was wrong and naïve and stupid a-and I broke your trust… I shouldn’t have lied but I was scared what you’d do if you knew you were right about him… I was scared that you’d hate me for being so naïve and not listening to you…” I hate myself for not listening to you, you thought but didn’t say anything of the sort. You didn’t want to turn this into something about you. You hurt Yoru and tried to make it seem like he was the bad guy in all of this, just so you could play peacekeeper.

With that, you were already crying as you stood, and you muffled yourself with your hands. He stood there watching you, wanting to hug you, hold you in his arms, but he couldn’t just do that. You needed to learn your lesson. Seeing you crying was the last thing he wanted tonight.

“Puta no!” You both hear Neon yelp, but it was too late. You didn’t see what happened but somehow Neon short circuited the lights, causing all the lightbulbs to pop above you, surrounding you all in total darkness.

“Merde, has anyone seen my glasses?”

“Everyone, stay calm, the generators will open in any moment.”

“Ow! That was my foot Gekko!”

“I—I’m all the way here! That wasn’t me!”

“Can’t you go up in flames or something Phoenix? We need light!”

“With all the flammables lying around? Do you want to get toast?”

You uncover your face and you couldn’t see anything. You could only hear the sounds of the ocean waves and the ruckus going on in the crowd. You then hear a sigh before you’re dragged by the wrist by someone, Yoru you’re guessing. You stumble after him as he walked quickly, opening a door and ushering you inside. He closes it and you hear a clicking sound.

“They won’t hear us talk here.” He says. You reach out your arms and hit his chest mistakenly. You step back and step on a few things, making sounds. “Will you stop that? They’re going to think there’s someone out there that isn’t us,” he scolds, and you make an angry face at him, or wherever your face was directed to. “I can’t see you!” You complain, reaching for him again until he reaches for your hand and puts it on his cheek. Your heart skips a beat, and you blush. He couldn’t see that though.

“There. Is that better?” He asks, his voice more quiet than usual. You nod, but then remember he can’t see you too. “Y-yeah. Sorry if my hands a-are wet.” You wipe your other hand on your sundress frantically, and he grabs hold of that too and places it on his shoulder. He then grabs your waist, pulling you closer. You start to feel him move side to side, and a picture formed in your head.

You were dancing in the dark.

“I get up in the evening, and I ain’t got nothing to say~” You sang quietly, and he laughs a bit. “I go home in the morning, I go to bed feeling the same way~” You continue, humming.

“I ain’t nothing but tired. Man I’m just tired and bored with myself,” he sings along after a while, and you pull him closer. “Hey there baby, I could use just a little help.”

Can’t start a fire, can’t start a fire without a spark.

This gun’s for hire, even if we’re just dancing in the dark.

“I was dying to dance with you all night,” you admit, whispering it in his ear. He nods, breathing against your neck. “Me too.” He replies quietly. “I missed you so much. So much. I’m so sorry for lying, I’m so sorry for being so naïve and not listening to you. I’m so sorry,” you cry, and he holds you closer, letting you sob on his shoulder.

He was still mad, but hearing how sad and lonely you sound, he knew this was hard on you as it was for him. Miscommunication was a bitch, and you both became a victim to it. Ironic since you had excellent communication systems.

“I understand why you lied to some degree. And you were right, I would’ve murdered him in his sleep. But you know I could’ve gotten away with it,” he chides, and you step on his foot. He feigns hurt but keeps dancing. “You tried to protect me and had the protocol’s best interest in mind. Can’t fault you on that too much. But it still pisses me off that lied. You shouldn’t feel the need to lie to me.

“But that was my fault. You were scared of how I’d act. And yeah, I know I can get carried away most of the time. Just a few minutes ago, I almost broke Sova’s nose,” he chuckles at the thought but continues. “Point is, we both made mistakes.” He finishes with a sigh.

“Please take me back,” you ask, and as soon as you did, the power went on. You adjusted your view, and saw that Yoru was also a bit teary eyed. You smile tenderly and hold his face with your palm, caressing it. “Please take me back. I love you and only you,” you begged. He stops moving both of you and leans into your touch, thinking. He hasn’t seen you this close in a while, and from the bags under your eyes, he could tell how unwell you’ve been without him.

“Promise me you won’t lie to me anymore. Promise me you’ll tell me anything that bothers you, even if you won’t like my initial reaction. And I promise to listen to you more, and to never doubt you again,” he asks, leaning his head on to your hands, melting him like putty. You nod, your smile quivering as you cry. “I promise. I promise,” you were able to blurt out, pouncing on him and hugging him tightly. You both dance again as you hum the lyrics to your favorite song.

They say you gotta stay hungry, hey baby, I’m just about starving tonight

I’m dying for some action, I’m sick of sitting round here tryna write this book

I need a love reaction~

“C’mon now, baby give me just one look,” he pulls away, giving you a smile before he kisses you longingly as you dance the night away. He missed you more than you know. And he was glad that he was your last dance tonight. He wanted to dance with you so bad.

You can't start a fire, sitting 'round crying over a broken heart

This gun's for hire, even if we're just dancing in the dark

You can't start a fire, worrying about your little world falling apart

This gun's for hire

Even if we're just dancing in the dark.

(Tagging: @sv03, thanks for waiting!)

[queers-gambit]

HELLO!! I LOVE YOUR WRITING SO MUCH I DO NOT REGRET READING ALL YOUR WORKS FOR THE PAST FEW HOURS HUEHEEUEHEUE

I also really love how you write Aemond and so with that in mind, how would he react if ever in a very unlucky world, he would lose both his child and wife at childbirth (not like viserys where he was given a choice) but bec it just didnt end well esp when pregnancies doesnt really guarantee a safe delivery all the time

oh, that's a lot of reading, poppet! take a break!! (but thank you so much, you're so cute, i love you)

oh, you want ANGST angst? let's get into this - where's my coffee?

[ When Pride Married Prejudice ]

[ following this post // this post // this post ]

this post contains potentially triggering content as we discuss the labors of childbirth, and a very small skimming of what can go wrong. i want everyone to proceed with maturity and caution.

this is NOT part of the WPMP storyline, just a hypothetical.

When he finds out sweet girl is pregnant, the lad is running around as if his head has been cut off - trying to read and learn as much as he could. He'll spend hours in the library and return to your chambers with a few particularly interesting tomes, asking her if you knew about this and that while being pregnant.

He learns about the good, he learns about the bad.

He prepares for what can go right, for what can go wrong.

Yet nothing can truly prepare him for the harsh, mind-numbing reality that he faces. It's so much easier to blame something; be it an inexperienced Maester, or even something tangible - like the baby being flipped the wrong way.

Not something as simple, yet unstoppable, as herniating a blood clot and bleeding out whilst the child wriggled in distress and eventually coiled the umbilical cord around its neck.

He's kept from the birthing chambers originally, and the Maesters only allow Alicent and your hand maiden, Amira, in the room for moral support. He listens to you scream and cry in pain for a solid day and a half, until, things go quiet.

Unusually quiet.

Eerily quiet.

Heart-pounding quiet.

Aemond remains in the hall with Aegon, who had come to check on his brother and offer company, only to be present when all sounds from the birthing chamber suddenly stop. Aegon foolishly claps his brother on the shoulder and congratulates him, assuring the cease in noise was a good sign and meant the baby must've been born.

They wait another hour or more with false hope.

When the door finally cracks open, Aemond takes on look at his mother and knows something terrible has happened. She'll keep the door cracked to prevent him sight, but all is lost when there comes a procession of midwives - all clutching heavily bloodied rags close to their chest. His eye fills with tears and meets the weary gaze of his mother, and all she can muster is, "Come inside, Aemond. You should say goodbye."

"What's happened?" He demands, but there's an unspoken understanding settling over them all.

"Come say goodbye," she whispers again and opens the door for him. There's three different Maesters, plus the Grand Maester, all waiting with bowed head - standing in a line as if to greet the Prince.

Their robes are all soiled in blood, and there, in the middle of the room, laid his wife - his sweet girl - in puddles of her own life's liquid. It soaks into the mattress, blooms into the sheets laying over your cool, stoic form; and there, at the bottom of the bed, laid a bundle.

He's quiet as he assess the room and quickly understands that more blood dripped off the mattress than laid in your body. He hears Alicent and Aegon at the door, but demands again, "What happened?"

One of the Maesters slowly steps up and explains that sometimes, during birth, the stress is too much on the body and there are certain circumstances that nobody can avoid - or help. One, being when the bleeding to too great - a tear located internally that cannot be seen. The baby then went into distress and eventually choked in the womb, being born with the cord around it's neck.

When Aemond carefully pulls the cloth bundle from his baby's face, he'll freeze when he notes the purplish hue coating the pale skin of the babe. In fact, the whole of it looks darkened with bruises and he feels his heart crack right down the middle.

As the Maester explains in depth what went wrong, the Prince slowly approaches your side and kneels. He'll tilt your head towards him and just wait, thinking this was all a bad dream and not truly real; mind reeling to bring forth the facts about births-gone-wrong.

Yet nothing in his mind will comfort him as he slowly takes up your hand. It's cool, not yet cold, but not warmed like your usual touch. Your fingers are stiff and rigid, making him frown as he tries to lace your fingers together for a final time.

His heart officially breaks.

"Why couldn't you save her?" He asks the room when it goes silent, staring at your face.

"Sometimes, there's nothing, even the most trained hand, can do," the Maester explained.

He nods slowly and leans down to press a parting kiss to your forehead. It's still not real, but his temper is flaring as he lets go of you to turn and stare menacingly at the Maester. His mother and brother are on high alert, understanding the dangerous glint in his eyes meant he was beyond words and rational thought.

"Are you?" Aemond grits.

"Am I what, my Prince?" The Maester trembles.

"The most trained hand?"

"W-Well, n-no, I would imagine there's a great deal more skilled than I," the Maester stuttered, glancing to the Queen for help.

"Then there is no use for you," Aemond sighed, blinking once, and brandishing his dagger to stab the Maester's chest. He holds the dying man for a moment before wrenching his knife free and lets the body drop to the floor. "And you?" He demands of the other Maesters. "Which of you will assume responsibility for this?"

"My Prince, sometimes, a woman's body only - "

"Do not try to blame this one her," Aemond seethed, turning to the Maester who dared speak. "This was not her doing - it was your job to protect her!" He yells as he drives his dagger into the second Maester, twisting it deeper.

Seemingly realizing their fate, the others shuffle back a few steps.

"It was your job t-to protect her in this," he pants, confusion warping his mind as guilt soon plunges his stomach. "I should've been here."

"No, Aemond, there was nothing you could have done," his mother tries to insist.

"I am her husband," his voice cracks with emotion, glaring at his mother, "and I could protect her from much more. I just should've been here for her..." His gaze turns back to the bed, choking, "She was alone... She died alone."

"She wasn't," Amira, who stood crying in the corner, finally spoke. Aemond silenced himself at the sight of her, looking shroud into the corner as she withdrew into herself at the loss of her Lady; at the loss of her friend. "She wasn't alone... I-I was here with her."

"The whole time," Alicent promised Aemond softly.

"A-And should it bring your comfort, my Prince," Amira whispered, but it was like her voice echoed across the room, "I reminded her of your love until the end... And selfishly, of my love, too."

Aemond felt the emotional dam in his chest give way. He'll hold his breath for a moment and let it out, shakily, as he nods at the older woman, "You were always like family to her... I'm glad if it wasn't me, it was you with her."

"Me too," Amira whispered before breaking down in a sob.

For some reason, Aemond's feet carried him towards the corner and lowered himself to where the maid had sank to the floor. When his arm came around her shoulder for comfort, Amira was turning to cling onto his neck and sob.

"I want her back," the woman grieved.

"Me too, Mira," Aemond assured, his own tears starting.

"Come," Aegon directed his mother and remaining Maesters, "let us give them privacy, time to say goodbye."

Aemond wanted to shout his thanks but it felt wrong. Why did he need to thank anyone for leaving him alone to say goodbye to his wife?

Amira sobbed without pause for the better part of an hour, and Aemond just silently held her. Offering nothing but his arms for comfort, the words lacking him. But then, like a switch, Amira was pulling away and apologizing. "For what?" Aemond muttered.

"You just lost your wife and child," she whispered, wiping her face, "and yet sit here, comforting me... No, it should be the other way around."

"In truth, Amira?" She nodded. "I do not think there is any comfort for me. Not anymore," his gaze turns back to the bed, "not without her. I do not know what to think other than this is not real."

"I wish is wasn't," Mira nodded. "But it is our reality."

Amira eventually collects herself and leaves the room, too. Aemond slowly, so very slowly, gets to his feet and nears the drying-bed. He'll once more kneel and take your hand, laying a kiss to the back of it. "C'mon," he'll quietly encourage, "you can't be gone, my love. You've gotta get up, okay? You've gotta get up, sweet girl, I can't do this alone. I need you. Hear me?" He squeezes your hand but there's no response. "This... Cannot be," he'll whisper in defeat, bowing his head at last, and sobs horrible sobs into the bedside.

His brother, who had ushered everyone else away, is the only one left in the hall to hear Aemond sob, beg his wife to come back, swear he loved her; promising to do better - as if she died because he wasn't husband enough. As if he wasn't man enough.

At the funeral, Aemond stands alone. There's something akin to guilt that plunges his stomach to his feet and he'll want to isolate himself. His family doesn't think it's a good idea but there's never a time to approach him; he's always alone, always lost in thought. He's angry and takes it out on anyone who tries to speak to him.

Kasta burns your body, and that of your child. Aemond sets her free after that.

He'll become reclusive to the library, ignoring all other responsibilities. You thought he read everything before the pregnancy? Well, now that his wife is gone, he'll read anything he can about the complications of birth.

Some blame the father's seed. Some blame the mother's womb. Some blame wine or ales ingested during pregnancy. And some cite the Gods for playing their hand.

Either way, Aemond began to slowly understand that these kinds of accidents can happen - and there's never any one person to blame because they are simply that: an accident. He'll read until he's cross-eyed, and Amira often finds him face-down in a book, asleep on the library's table top with a single candle burning.

She becomes his hand-maiden because Amira is the only one Aemond can bare talking to you about. He needs someone to understand how incredible you were and what your absence has done to him, and Amira's always there for him.

She feels the obligation after your passing.

She sees the way in which Aemond is falling apart at the seams.

So, she'll make it her personal mission to make sure he's cared for. She's a little harsher with him then others, but it gets him to eat most days and she's satisfied enough in that.

Yet, Aemond won't talk to anyone else really. Not his mother, not his sister; not Otto, not even Cole. Aegon was overly sympathetic to Aemond's pain and lightened up on the jokes and hardened demeanor he showed his brother. Yet, he did not hesitate to send Aemond into the chaos of war.

However, it proved useful, as Aemond was ruthless in the heat of battle. All his anger is channeled into this war and Vhagar feels it. She's noted the absence of her master's wife, and from the feelings of overwhelming sadness coming from him, she understands something's happened to you. He becomes a shell of himself, but that could be expected, since it was you, his sweet girl, his darling wife, who broke him out of his original shell all those years ago.

Now there's nothing left but Aemond's anger - and his love, which has no wife nor child to go towards. It morphs into self-loathing because despite understanding the complications, Aemond cannot shake the idea of saving you when you needed it most, and it eats away at his soul.

[fuck-customers]

so idk how to go about this so i ask/tell here. (🫠)

TLDR; supervisor doing dumb shit, i do not know how to go about talking to boss about it feeling like i'm being targeted by supervisor every day and i feel like she's trying to get me fired at this point.

i have a supervisor at work whom i feel is targeting me as a whole, having an attitude with me almost every single time we're on shift together. i had to go to therapy today (10/2) and subsequently, someone pulled a block on the jenga tower and my car decided to break down as i was leaving for my appointment, so my brother had to take me back to work.

also a few notes about this before i go on:

- this particular supervisor has refused to drive our cart around despite having driven it before, and claims its because she can't back it out of the port with the trailer on it. so i'm the one made to stay late to do it, which i don't mind. i would like to have a warning instead of being told AS I GET THERE EVERY SINGLE FUCKING TIME. also i'm going to get pissed off or spicy irritated, but i will literally live my life and get the fuck over it every single time even though i think it's the dumbest fucking thing in the world.

- same supervisor has pointed her finger at me accusing me TWO TIMES of doing things i have never done, such as rolling my eyes and telling her fuck you? again, never did it. she keeps putting words in my mouth, and my boss is believing her instead of me because she's the ✨favorite✨ and i'm just not believable, apparently! "let's all get along!" my ass. can't get along when one supervisor consistently has an attitude about someone sitting down for like five minutes during downtime, WHICH IS THREE HOURS LONG BEFORE DINNER. i'll go stare at the paint peel off the wall from now on while you get to sit and talk to the other coworkers you'd never tell this shit to!

(and to be fair, downtime is long, and things could be getting done. so this one is 50/50, but i sit down because i get too hot. my knee and back hurt. some of the stuff is mostly done save for one or two things anyway, and it takes not even a few seconds to pull those things and she needs to chill out in my opinion. not my fault the workers don't listen to me worth a damn, they barely even listen to the OTHER supervisor, (snd didnt even listen to the BOSS today) but that's really only because he's a dick and pokes the bear with a stick and leaves us to deal with it. but at least he's more helpful and a lot more understanding!)

- same supervisor i feel like is on a whole trip because she makes two more dollars and hour and "managed the golden arches for 30 years" and never misses an opportunity to tell someone about it.

i have cried my eyes out all day today trying to figure out what to even do if i can do it. i need this job because it's well paying, but if it means i have to cry my eyes out every single day because of her, i don't know if it's worth staying. because if i go to my boss, and she tells her, i feel like it's just going to get worse.

Posted by admin Rodney.

[jayflrt]

hi im back i swear i could talk ab iland for hours fr ...

smth i wanna talk ab is their friendships on the show and moments that i think ab A LOTTT

- heeseung and jungwon!! i think they grew close very early on esp bc they were in iland together from the start and u could see how sad hee was when jungwon almost got emiminated. like boy was in tears SOBBING when jungwon came back from that dam egg and i felt in that moment u could rlly see how much jungwon meant to him and he couldnt lose him

- JAY AND NIKI like when jay came back to iland and cried that niki didnt make it 😭 they were THAT DUO™️ in the ground stressing out teaching everyone fire. i think they were the perfecr pair to lead bc they both had an insane amount of passion and determination like niki was one of the only ones that understood why jay wanted them to keep practicing and not fall behind bc they both knew how much was on the line. they were also on the same team multiple times which caused them to grow close and the fact that jay was one of the ones who could speak japanese so niki definitely clung onto him and jay would help him out a lot :')

- SUNOO AND JAEBEOM. one of the most purest friendships on the show i swear. they experienced ground and iland together and in the behind cams THEY LOOKED LIKE THEY WERE GOSSIPING ALL THE TIME IT WAS SO CUTE. and the fact that sunoo used one of his calls to call jaebeom omg 😭 theyre probably still friends til this day since sunoo cherishes all of his friendships i rlly need them to vlog tgth or smth i miss them sm

- sunoo and taki 😭 when sunoo said he wanted taki as a real little brother I SOBBED. i think another anon talked ab them so i wont get into it much but im so happy theyre still close and we see them interact a lot

- enha 02z omg. iland is where jakehoon rlly took off and it was so endearing to witness their friendship blossom on the show. and jayhoon ☹️☹️☹️ i love every jay duo in enha but jayhoon (and heejay) takes the cake for me. when sunghoon worried more about taking jays place during the dance unit over winning it showed how much their friendship means to him. and when jay says the iconic line "my one and only unit" LIKE THEY ENTERED ILAND TOGETHER AND DEBUTED TOGETHER IT CANT BE MORE PERFECT THAN THAT. and during pt. 2 i loved how in the behind cams we got to see all 3 of them get closer and become the iconic 02z trio we know and love today (im just so happy they all got to debut together it was seriously fate)

- jay and k. so yes, k was really bad on the show and his competitiveness got the best of him. it was sad to watch how he treated other ppl sometimes and i'll say hes grown from it and is in &team now and takes care of the members well. (i watched &audition and his character development was crazy so good for him) but in iland u can tell how much jay really values k as an older brother. jay was one of the older contestants so he probably felt like he had to shoulder a lot and be a leader but when k is around i feel like he got to relax a little more yk? and as we know enha and esp jay dont really have many friends outside of the group (besides sunoo) and im glad theyre still very close til this day.

sorry this was so long u fr opened the floodgates for me skdjs

HELLO !! feel free to 🤝 i love talking about iland (i am hyperfixated)

omg yes there were so many cute friendships that i wish mnet covered more !! :( jungwon and heeseung were so meant to be friends like 🥹🥹 omg in the ghost episode when jungwon slept in heeseung's bed was the first time i realized that he rlly lets himself be a kid around hee 🥰 NO YEAH MY HEART BROKE THAT EPISODE 😭 heeseung's sobbing actually hurt me holy shit i hate mnet for what they put those boys through

omg i felt so sad when jay went up without riki and started crying into k's shoulder 😭 ALSO WHEN JAY DID HIS MASSAGES FOR EVERYONE LOLL i definitely feel like jay jake riki and sunoo (and daniel) grew a lot closer in ground but i was so soft for jayki:') 💘💘 OMG YES SUNOO AND JAEBEOM WERE SO CUTE i just feel like they matched each other's energy so well !! i wish iland showed more interactions because jaebeom clearly had gotten close with more ilanders (sunghoon nominating him for parts, them using sunoo's call to call jaebeom) but i think mnet just focused on the drama + training + a few select friendships

that part where taki was crying on his way to ground and sunoo held his hand and walked him to the building ☹️☹️ they were too cute!!! but yes i remember their pictures together from hanging out n im so happy they're still close 🥰 omg "my one and only unit" changed the trajectory of my life forever like it's been my bio for two years now because of how insane of a hold it has over me 😵‍💫 02z were so so cute :')) part of the reason why i was so sad that ej got eliminated in pt 1 but we got so many cute jaykehoon moments 🥹💖 the entire ghost episode made me ADOREEE them like jake and sunghoon going everywhere together and pranking jay in the bathroom,, then their little dispute "i'll walk you to your room and then we'll walk to mine" "you cant even walk to your room by yourself??" and then jake getting all riled up and saying he could only to run back to sunghoon 😭😭 AND JAY AND JAKE SAYING THEYD SHOWER TOGETHER BC THEY WERE SO SCARED 😭🤚

omg yes jay was so cute around k he let himself be a little brother 🥹🥹 i think he needed that person he could go to and be vulnerable because he tried to put up a strong front a lot of the time and was under so much pressure 🤧 literally cried at the part of him writing all of those letters with his mosquito bitten hands :(( omg yeah i wanna know if enha have more idol friends HAHHA i know heeseung's friends with jeongin, beomgyu, and lim jimin and i know a few members are friends with tnx members OH and shotaro and riki are friends 🥰🥰💖💖

HAHAH no need to apologize i feel insane over iland friendships too 😵

[writer-kad]

Resident Evil 2 R actor AU!

This is an idea that's been rattling in my head for like a month so here it is!

The actor's for Claire and Leon met in 6th grade when they saw a DvD of the original resident evil 2 at a sleepover and have been best friends and roomates ever since

Due to contract reasons they didnt know that they were playing the roles until they met on set.

As a suprise all living actors from the original Resident Evil 2 were on set with zombie makeup and played various zombies

The actor who played Mr.X accidentaly punched Leon in the face and knocked him out, this caused the movie to be delayed by a week

Ada wongs actress pretended not to understand english when she first met the rest of the cast.

Sherry's actor is a huge horror nerd and actually asked the director if she could keep a prop from the film, the director said no but Mr.X's actor gave her his hat after filming wrapped.

Every member of the cast that met Mr.X's actor thought he was the sweetest man they ever met

The actor for William Birkin is actually Sherry's actresses brother, no he isn't 36 he's 29 he just looks really old dw about it.

Claire and Ada's actors started dating soon after production ended with help from Leon's actor.

Due to the 5th Devil may cry sequel being shot at Capcom studio's at the same time, the actor for dante accidently walked onto set and was extremely confused at the scenery change.

Afterwards Mr.X who was a fan of the DMC movies got and autograph of Dante.

Claire's jacket mysteriously disappeared after shooting, it is rumored that Claire had stolen it from set, when asked about it at the oscars she said "Well i definitley didn't steal it and even if i did steal it's not like they were going to use it again." She then opened her purse to reveal what seemed to be the jacket.

Mr.X visited Leon in the hospital after knocking him out and gave him a baloon and a get well soon card that stated that he put freshly baked brownies that will help with the pain in his fridge. No one knows how he got in, as Claire was having ice cream with Sherry as a bonding excersise.

During the racoon city scenes, most of the zombies were just people livng in the area.

During the Ben Bertolucci scene, they didn't know when Mr.X was going to the burst through the wall, the original script for that scene was 2 pages long, and they just had to keep going until Mr.X broke the wall.

After Breaking the wall the cast realized that that was a REAL WALL and not a prop one and Mr.X had broken several bones.

Some of the most famous bloopers from the film was Ada saying "Well this wasnt the penetration i was looking for" after stabing the pipe in her leg.

When asked how her character survived Ada said "Man I dunno, just blame Wesker"

Marvin's actor actually interned during the filming of the orignal movie

The actor for Cheif Irons constantly made sure if Sherry was ok after various scenes

Claire's actress said that Sherry was one of the most professional child actors she'd worked with.

Mabey i'll make more stuff with RE2 like interviews and stuff or move on to 7