i keep getting tiktoks of these younger gen z kids referencing a time they did something relating to fandom in public and now they're embarrassed by it and everytime i see one i sit there thinking over all of middle and high school and having genuinely 0 moments that i feel embarrassed by, like i definitely did a lot of shit these kids would be embarrassed by but i think these are all just really fucking funny
also photographic evidence of the kinda kid i was. these are from 2014/15 when i was in 8th grade
-desolation row one shot(still on wattpad gerard way/reader smut)
-twerk it on (mcr crack fanfic no longer on wattpad but i have another fic in my library called twerking in taco bell which definitely ALSO used for my reading log)
-frank iero must die(a serial killer/assassin frerard fic, still on wattpad)
-hair (really vague maybe a phanfic? nowhere in my wattpad library rip)
my binder i used in 7th grade i had a blue one that looked pretty similar to this for 8th grade but idk where it went, also the parts i scribbled out are my full legal name i had written on it. i wrote it normally and then the big spot is where i wrote my name REALLY BIG in elysian code from the vladimir tod books. also the lines are from when i used an exacto knife to cut up some papers and forgot that my binder was underneath
in conclusion yall can now see why im so shameless about talking about shigaraki the way i do
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i fell on the stairs earlier n not only lost my frootloops but i apparently hit my face ? n didnt realize until now when i went in the bathroom n saw a bruise on my brow bone o(-<
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realizing before i fall asleep how ive made another routine of sleeping next to this frog plushie ive had for a few years.. it was up in my closet for awhile. took it down one day recently (probably less than a week or so ago) cause i felt bad for how it didnt get as much love as the plushies on my bed.. then proceeded to fall asleep with it next to me one day, and now i hang onto it rather tightly as i fall asleep…
its weird, cause i hate when other people touch me sometimes yet i love giving hugs; i remember as a kid dreading cuddles or forced hand holding because i would feel forced (well duh doy, if its forced hand holding of course you would feel forced.. i know, i know.) squished. trapped. even now, i’m very hesitant. i think with the right people i enjoy it though. it just varies..
it also depends how im doing. i know when i get overwhelmed or overstimulated i really dont wanna be touched at all, dead regardless of who it may be. i cant explain why. its just an instinctual sort of reaction? kinda like when you touch that very specific species of plant i forgot the name of, and how you can touch their leaves and they react and retract and close in on themselves.. thats kinda what my body does. closes in on itself because i really do not want to be touched right now. i know that happened a bit on saturday
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