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#i didnt think these would get so long… help…
gracejh08 · 2 days
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Breaking the media
Chapter 4- moving on in
Your alarm rang at the ungodly hour of 7.30 you quickly shut it off and forced yourself out of bed training didnt start till 9.30 but knowing you its going to take atleast 2hrs to get ready. You wandered into the small kitchen and realised that you needed to go shopping you had been so caught up in being ready for training that you hadn't had the chance to get shopping. Your first thought was to just find the nearest shop and buy what you needed however you thought going to a local cafe was a smarter choice and would be better than your terrible cooking skills.
It didnt take long for you to find a cafe with the help of Google maps and being placed in a busy small town. The cafe you had found was very reserved and ran by an old spanish women which was happy to greet you as you stood with your Barcelona sweats on and a giant backpack filled with your training kit. "Thank you so much, how much is it" you asked after having the best avocado on toast you had ever tasted and a mocha that was brew to perfection "its on the house dear, you're welcome back anytime" she said clearling you plates away "no no please let me pay" you practically begged the older women to let you pay but she refused.
After excepting your fate and enjoying your time in the cafe you forgot to check the time and saw it was 9.10 am you'd spent an 1hr in the cafe "shit" you mumbled to yourself and waved the old women goodbye. Now if miracles exists this was one you were 25 minutes away from the training ground and somehow you had made it there for 9.25. With 5 minutes to spare you walked into the changing room to find that you were the last one in and everyone was waiting for you. You knew that wasn't the best impression but atleast you weren't late "captain im so sorry, i didn't mean to show up so far behind i wont do it again" you pleaded to your new captain as you had a feeling she was ready to snap at you from the gaze she gave you "dont apologise its okay just next time be earlier, its your first day dont stress" she said and put a hand on your shoulder in reassurance.
Training had gone well for you, you had very quickly proved yourself to fit to the rumors of being a promising young talent. If football was a language you were fluent everything made sense to you the way the ball moved at your feet it was natural. Everyone was fairly impressed with your skill "you worried luce" mapi joked digging her elbow into lucys side "don't even" she said deadpanning her face of course lucy was the starter over you but you were definitely a threat you were half of lucys age and developing quicker than ever. You walked back to the changing room and got changed quickly sending everyone a goodbye before heading off the walk home as you needed to shop.
This is when lucy needed to bring up your living suitation but she had no power to get this changed she needed to tell alexia "ale, can i talk to you" she said dragging the spainard to the side of the room "sure whats up" she said back "its about y/n" lucy said trying to figure out whats the best way to word this "whats wrong?" Alexia responded her eyebrows knitted together she cared for you and she didnt understand why she was so protective over you even though the two of you rarely spoke, you rarely spoke to anyone unless it was for a drill. "Ermm so basically she's living by herself the team have bought her an apartment and shes been walking to the training ground.. and like yes i know she probably can take care of herself. But shes 16.. and" lucy was rambling "what? She's living by herself she knows no spanish and probably doesn't know how to wash her clothes... we've got to sort this" alexia said almost shocked in the stupidity of the management team what were they thinking a 16 year old by herself.
Alexia had went to talk to jona after she told lucy she would sort out the issue, "jona were abouts does y/n live?" She questioned him "its in de la tres torres apartment 4b" he said "why?" "Im going to check up on her and tell her she is moving in with me, im not having a 16yr old live by herself in a foreign country" she said back firmly grabbing her car keys out of her bag and storming off to the car park before jona could protest against the captain l, you were living with her she didn't care she had a spare room and was quite happy to share it as she wouldn't mind the company on her days off. She drove to your apartment parking her car outside she was preparing for your stubborn attitude to not be willing to leave as she knows how teenagers can be.
It was 5.30pm when the knock came at your door you were about to head off shopping so you had no idea who it could be. You opened your door to find alexia stood outside "am i in trouble?" You questioned it would be the only reason she was at your door "no course not how about we have a seat" she said as you brought her to your sofa "nice place" she commented glazing around the room it was nicely decorated but it wasnt a home "yeah its alright, just a bit lonely sometimes" you said sitting down next to her. "So i was wondering if instead of living here by yourself, you come and live with me in my apartment i have a spare room and it would be much nicer and you would have less responsibility" she began "ermm i dont know captain i dont wanna crash your place.. honestly im fine here" you said almost believing your own words. You weren't fine in that apartment you had no idea how to live by yourself but you didnt want to burden alexia with your problems or with your presence. "No no pequeña, please come live with me honestly it would put me at peace of mind that you are well fed and rest" she said back "really?" You questioned you almost couldn't believe she cared that much for you "of course but please stop calling me captain and call me alexia or ale whatever one" she said almost jokingly.
You had agreed to stay with her and you began to pack but it was getting late and you hadn't eaten yet "umm ale.. alexia can we just go now im really hungry and have no energy to finish packing" you said walking into the living room where she was lay on your couch "of course pequeña how about tomorrow you come back after training then call me when you're finished packing" she said looking up to you. You just nodded you were so tired and it was only 6.30. She brought you to her car and you slipped into the passenger seat the drive was longer than you had expected it was a 30 minutes away yet thats all it took for you to drift of asleep in her car your head resting against the window. Alexia looked over to you her heart almost melting at the sight she knew how hard this must be for you and yet you still hadn't spoke to anyone. The car had pulled into alexias driveway and just as she turned the car off you had stirred awake from your sleep "we're here amor how about you get your bags from the boot" she said getting out the car and made her way to open the door to her house. Her house was beautifully furnished it was so her stylish yet not over the top you couldn't believe you were going to be staying in her home. "How about you start putting your stuff in the bedroom while i cook us some food" she said as she showed you to your new room.
The dish was simple it was just some pasta but it was so tasty you had been craving a home cooked meal. "Thank you so much" you said as you moved to wash your plate in the sink, "no worries amor just wash your dish then you can head off to sleep and i will wake you up" she said giving you a smile. You had climbed into bed this time the sheets felt a lot more comforting and your bed felt so much warmer you had fell asleep with ease. Alexia had came up to check on you but as she peeked her head through the door she found you passed out asleep and she decided to let you sleep.
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suethesocks · 2 days
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Egyptian Ben 10 AU!!
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A long while ago i got the idea of making an au where ben is an Egyptian Orthodox Christian (the idea entirely spawned off a joke my friend made about a hypothetical ben like that having to explain his fasting to rook)
At first the idea was gonna be that his parents are Egyptian immigrants and he was born and raised in Bellwood, but last second before finishing his character bio i decided to flip everything over and make this AU *in* Egypt
The timeline i have in mind for these bios are all at around right after the highbreed arc, but also before season 3 straight up starts. I feel like thats a good jumping-on point
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In terms of aliens mostly i just get to explore what the aliens would look like as teenagers since uaf and ov didnt really do much with that (they didnt even bother giving wildmutt a tail) and have fun trying to make his flannel into outfits for the aliens. Hoever if i get any cool ideas for entirely revamping aliens id definitely do it
I tried to make fourarms darker skinned not sure if its showing. Id have done the same with stinkfly but the uniforms colorscheme wouldve crashed. I wanted to try giving wildmutt black fur because this ben has darker hair but nothing really quite worked hsjhds wildmutts obnoxious orange is just too iconic
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Prep school is mostly an american thing, here the closest equivalent for the early 2000s would be an international school. Also i changed lawyer to doctor as thats the sort of "go-to" job that makes a lot of money, lawyers in egypt arent usually as fortunate
Here she doesnt wear her uniform this is just how she dresses. I tried to fit the cat motif like OS but i couldnt really think of something that fit. If i were drawing UAF or OV gwen in my own take id have given her cat imagery but i think for Jwanas personality it actually makes more sense for her to be boring and lose the cat
Jwanas also a lot more angsty about her magic (and it is magic) since her parents and basically entire surrounding community both Muslim and Christian are very against magic and consider it sin. Shes also a lot more angsty in general because like the bio says shes under alot of stress and is very jealous of ben, which is conflicting because ben is also her best friend and she doesnt wanna feel this sort of animosity to him. She also doesnt realize how much he looks up to her as someone who is a lot more intelligent and disciplined than he'll ever be (for example the concept of jwana having the spark isnt here, ben just can never learn magic because he doesnt have what it takes)
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Kevin much like ben is more or less the same as he is in the show. With jwana i went with my own take but Ben and Kevin are more of, culminations of what i think are their best parts in the series and then just fleshing that out more
I felt like the outfit he has in earth-prime works best with a few touchups. Prime kevin has consistently had that rugged guy-who-lives-in-a-garage look so despite being the most basic outfit it works the best with a few touchups
I did change his anatomy, i wanted to make him look like a mutant freak. I gave him this sort of frankenstine's monster posture (a small reference to him being an amalgamation in os). He also has these stretch marks all over his body since his material absorption doesnt just create a coat around him but also alters his skin itself (so these markings arent there for os-era kevin) He also has a lot of weird bumps over his body
This kevin is 100% mutant no alien shenanigans. If i do aggregor i'll uhhh think of something else for him to be. His transition to the lightside is a lot longer and for the majority of the highbreed arc hes not even there hes more of an occasional ally if he feels like helping
Was his dad a plumber or not im not sure tbh, im leaning towards not though
Next post is gonna be a bunch of villains for funsies
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cxsha-lilith · 3 days
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he broke my heart, so why did i run back?
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synopsis: you're biker ex-boyfriend helps you get back home from a party. Do you run back or leave him in the past.
paring: geto suguru x reader
w. fem! reader, biker! geto suguru, fluff, angst, modern AU
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i just got back from a late night party and was walking out of the carpark alone when i heard a sudden engine roar. I didn't even bother to look back because i already knew that familiar sound all too well. my ex-boyfriend, Geto sugure
geto drove in-front of me, blocking my path before i could even make the next step. His gaze shifts down to my dead phone. i gave him a glare and he chuckles before flashing his cocky smirk.
"hop on" he says to me, patting his bike.
i didn't have any other options. My phone was dead so i couldnt call my friends to take me home and walking to my house would be a pain. i hopped on the back of the motorcycle.
geto felt his heart skip a few beats when he felt my arms around his waist; holding him tightly. he put his hands over mine and gave him a gentle squeeze before taking off. he felt like he was in paradise as he feels me hugging him from behind. he was always calm around ,e, but he was always shy when it came to his feelings.
he was a huge introvert. He wasn't exactly someone who could hold a conversation. it took him so long to say the big three words to me, and it took him even longer to find the courage to even look into my eyes.
i just hopes he knows that im only holding onto him so that i dont fall. Not because i wanted to. If i had another way to get home then i would use it.
it was quiet during the whole ride. All i could hear was the engine noise and the wind rushing in my ears. i felt the night breeze blowing against my face. His body heat made me comfortable, though it was still cold at night.
when he finally arrived at my house, he turned off his motorcycle and put down the stand, letting me get off his bike. he took off his helmet off and shook his hair a little. It was almost as if he still looks good even after a simple action like this.
i said a quick thank you and hopped off his bike.
he gave a simple smile and a nod in response. He was a man of few words. But as soon as i turned around to walk to my home, he called out to me. I could tell that he really didnt want to part ways, not yet
"Y/N"
he called out my man so suddenly, but it came out softly like honey.
i turned my head. i was shocked that he called me by my first name. he used to call me n/n.
"will you at least sit with for a little, for old times sake?"
he said, He knew he was being selfish. He knew he felt me, but he couldnt help but wonder if he was still the one who made me laugh, smile, cry. He hated how much he missed me and how much he wants to be with me. He felt lonely and cold without me. This is the closest he's been in almost a year.
i thought for a second. Do i really want to sit with him? A man i worked so hard to get over? someone who left me broken and crying in my bed for day on end? before i could think about it, my mouth moved on its own.
"okay"
why would i say that? he left me bent and i had to mold myself back. I promised myself that i wouldnt run back to him.
he let out a silent sigh in relief. He wasnt exactly sure whether i'd say yes or no. To be exact, he wasn't expecting me to said yes. He felt his heart thumping loudly. He gestured to the spot next to him as he patted beside him.
he felt his heart racing again as soon as i sat down next to him. The first time we've had been so close after nearly one year of no contact.
i walked to the spot next to him and started looking at the moon and the stars.
he stares at my side profile for a while. my hair moved in the wind beautifully and he watched me quietly under the dim light from the steetlights. He felt a small smile creep up on his face as he kept admiring my features.
" do you wanna talk or did you want us to sit here in silence"
it didnt matter to him, really. He was more than happy just being next to me. His hand inched closer to mine. the urge to hold my hand was becoming too unbearable. He finally placed his palm on my hand and squeezed it. He knew i would pull away, or snatch my hand away, but he still tried anyways.
i want to pull away, i really did but i couldn't. his hands were just as cold and rough as i imagined them. They matched my soft warm hands.
i was screaming at myself for letting myself get here. Why couldn't i just raincheck this? Why did i have to agree? do i even have it in my to disagree?"
he noticed that i didn't pull my hands away. He took it as a sign. his thumb gently traced small circles on the back of my hand. He tried to keep his cool and act casual, but he knew he was blushing like crazy right now.
"you still remember the first day we met back when we were both in college?"
he asked, trying to start a conversation. His mind couldn't find anything else to talk about, he just knew he wanted to hear my voice.
i nodded my head. How can i forget the day when i met my first love? the first time i laid my eyes on him, i new he was all i wanted.
He smiles when i agreed and the memories of the day came back to the both of us.
the both of us were in the college library. He was working some part time job at the library while i was studying for an upcoming exam. i dropped a bunch of my book all over the floor and he helped to pick them up.
i remember his asking to get lunch together, and the rest was history. Those were the days, when neither of us had a care in the world.
we were together for nearly two years before we broke up. i also remember that day like it was yesterday. I was in our shared apartment, and got a text saying we needed to talk when he got off work. After one hour later, he got off work while i was doing our laundry.
he didn't hug me and he didn't kiss me like he normally did. He sat me down and told me that we needed to breakup. Some girl from his highschool enrolled in our collage and caught his eye. he explained that he didn't hold the same amount of love for me like he loved her.
i guess they were right when they said first loves dont die.
" i also remember the day we broke up"
he held his breath when i mentioned the break up. it was difficult for him, because even though he left me, he still felt like he never stopped loving me. He was devastated knowing that he was the one who put me through it all and ruined me. He didn't deserve my love, and he never will. He let me go because he didn't want to see me hurt
"can i ask you a question?"
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girlscoutbrownies · 6 months
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sbg headcanons!
(i had to put a title because it keeps just showing up as “aiden” in my notifs)
some of my favourite school bus graveyard headcanons! (in celebration of 101 followers) some are mine, some belong to other people that i’ve taken as well
these got really, really long so ill split it into two parts: aiden, tyler, and taylor for this post and ashlyn, ben, and logan will be in the next
——
aiden
(bit of a tw for disassociation around the end)
- uses he/any pronouns, he mostly doesn’t give a fuck. also doesn’t care if you stick to he/him because he likes it. he also tries out mirror pronouns every once in a while and flipflops between any
- unlabelled energy. also doesn’t care abt that type of stuff, but he’s asexual and it takes him a while to grow feelings. he’s afraid of letting people close to him but it really doesn’t matter to him, not that much. he’s pretty apathetic about it
- generally smells like shittily applied cedarwood cologne. it’s one of those cheap drugstore brands and sometimes he forgets to apply it in the morning, and he doesn’t spray it very well. also smells like grass sometimes
- his favourite subject is psychology/maths/anything logic based (he likes those puzzles). growing up with his bitchass karen mom who probably twisted all the words he said, he doesn’t like cryptic or vague language or poetry (english class) because it reminds him of her. in math, there’s only one answer. in english, there’s hundreds. also the words swim on the paper and he finds it hard to focus
- he has his ears pierced. he begged his parents to take him to an ear piercing studio they just ended up taking him to claire’s but he was still so happy about it
- he BEGGED for a dog or a pet when he was very little but eventually stopped at some point. he asked for stuffed animals and never got any because “it would be too hard to keep track of when we’re moving and you would lose them and get sad” and he’s still very upset about it. used to hug like three pillows when he slept
- he was told they were settling down in georgia and now his current room has millions of stuffed animals i will not hear any arguments about this
- he’s a kicker in his sleep (when he gets any). he kicks plushies off his bed like all the time, he’s not apologetic though he’s just like “oh shit”
- worst and best guy to have a sleepover with. super clingy
- he knows very few actual life skills other than operating a microwave for frozen meals because he largely grew up alone without his parental figures in his life. ashlyn and tyler eventually teach him how to cook
- his growth is stunted bc of that period in his life and he’s short like ashlyn
- he is a HORRIBLE gossip addict. they’ll be sitting at the lunch table eating in silence and he drops “did you hear that samantha’s parents are divorced and madison dropped her bc samantha’s mom doesn’t drive them to the mall anymore” like HUH WHERE DID YOU HEAR THIS?
- he gets school lunch and very rarely (if ever) brings lunch from home. sometimes ben makes him lunches
- plays with his food (this is canon) but he makes storylines out of whatever he does its like his personal roman empire
- big fan of extreme foods (spicy, sour, etc) ((he grew up eating plain ramen)) and loves weird food combinations. everyone always makes weird faces at him when theyre at the mall and he orders weird shit
- he doesn’t know proper meal etiquette until someone has to tell him, his parents didn’t teach him anything (I HATE THEM)
- he’s a really bad cook like ben because he always ends up getting distracted, and somehow manages to skip over steps in the recipes.
- he probably likes cooking shows though and is like “yeah i could do that” (he can’t do that)
- the first time someone (tyler) made aiden a homecooked meal he started cry laughing (it was mostly crying) (nobody talks about it)
- the few times his mom has made him meals whenever she’s home they’re really bad. they don’t taste anything like home, but he didn’t know what home tasted like so he just cried. his mom thought it was because of how good it was (it wasn’t) and he just cried harder
- he dislikes bitter flavours, especially like, orange juice that you make from scratch but you don’t put any sugar in it (it’s because his mom once tried to make homemade orange juice/lemonade to feel more like a “real mom” and it was horrible
- he’ll still eat bitter food though he just wouldn’t like it that much
- likes crunchy food or food that pops in your mouth (poprocks) bc he thinks its cool
- probably needs glasses from how long he’s spent staring at screens (his backstory)
- the one thing his parents consistently did as a kid was take him to his doctors appointments so he has stellar teeth
- he’s fit and fairly athletic (jumping off walls and all) but he doesn’t play sports because he just. isn’t interested in any of it. he tries everything but nothing really sticks that much
- he eats his greens but probably wouldn’t care much for the healthy vegan lifestyle, not that much of a picky eater (this part is canon)
- his favourite holiday is halloween because 1. candy (which he didn’t get much as a kid unless he specifically asked for it or ben brought it over) and 2. he loves dressing up it’s so fun to him
- understimulation is the BANE of his existence he genuinely wants to tear out his own hair every time he gets like that. gets really irritated
- he disassociates a lot, generally experiences a lot of derealization. he doesn’t feel like he’s in his own body sometimes
- insomniac
- chases thrills so that he can “feel” something. doesn’t care if it hurts him or not, because at least then he’ll remember he’s a real person and that his life matters
- really bad at telling when people are lying/are irritated with him. he just keeps pushing until they explode
- good with secrets (his own) but isn’t good at deflecting if asked about someone else’s. he’s just like “ummm. would u look over there. a bird!”
- runs really fast, he wakes up early in the morning to take a walk around the neighborhood. he sometimes encounters tyler if he happens to go into his city (which is often, because he doesn’t like being in his house)
- his house is always really cold, which is why he tends to run really warm (his body is compensating). he knows how to turn the ac off, but it always ends up turning back on in the middle of the night
- he grew up learning The Gifted Child instrument; the piano. he dislikes classical music (he says it’s boring but it’s because of this). he also almost got forced to learn the violin but he once practiced so hard his fingers started bleeding which is how he got out of it
- likes verbal validation bc his parents never told him they were proud of him
taylor
- she/they cis demigirl, gets a bit upset at being misgendered though (people think she’s the transfem twin because tyler passes really well)
- bisexual fem pref
- decorates her locker for almost every occasion. halloween, christmas, easter, birthdays. also decorates other people’s lockers for their birthdays before school starts with sticky notes
- has tons of stuff in her locker (except food because tyler won’t let her) just in case anyone needs anything but she’s not very organized so she doesn’t know where anything is
- because of this she’s one of those people that barely makes it to the door before the bell rings but she’s trying to fix that habit
- enjoys crime documentaries/true crime, horror stuff. used to make tyler watch with her but his anxiety gets really bad and he started getting paranoid
- adores christmas bc it’s a family holiday she makes tyler and her mom homemade gifts every year
- loves dogs with every bone in her body she asks santa for one every year but alas. tyler always has to write “a letter from santa” back saying they ran out of dogs at the north pole
- uses emoticons like “:D :] :3” all the time when she types, downloaded a bunch of sticker packs too. especially cat ones
- had her future all planned out as a kid and told her dad she’d be a mechanical engineer and build trains and rockets to bring him places when he started getting really sick and couldn’t move anymore
- her hair is actually kind of dry (compared to aiden’s or ashlyn’s) because they couldn’t afford great shampoo or anything
- has an ehh skincare routine and doesn’t care much for her fashion sense, just wears whatever’s comfortable
- knows a lot of random facts as conversation starters, she’s surprisingly good at small talk ( + comforting people)
- gossips with aiden aallll the time bc she’s super sociable and knows lots of people who tell her secrets. she doesn’t tell any of the important ones but just little drama things
- her and aiden are bffs
- really likes kids because they’re funny, she has a big imagination like them so it’s easy for her to play with them
- she’s a swiftie and whenever someone asks her if she likes taylor swift as a joke bc of her name she says “i like all music!” (she loves tswift)
- really likes sweets over most types of food, she’s healing her inner child guys
- has always ALWAYS wanted to go to a circus/carnival/festival when she was younger, but they couldn’t afford tickets. she still has that dream but she obviously has bigger priorities now…
tyler
- transmale he/him
- doesn’t care that much about dating, he actually doesn’t think about it that much until he meets The Gang. he always too busy taking care of his family to bother with relationships
- dislikes heavy meals, eats in small portions. it’s a habit
- used to be a picky eater but isn’t anymore, when he was younger they struggled to put food on the table so
- he’s like tigris from ballad of songbirds and snakes; when he prepared food for the family he’d eat bits and pieces of it while cooking. eats raw meat sometimes but once got sick from it so never again because he doesn’t want people taking care of him
- he HATES being sick. HATES HATES HATES it, hates having to burden people
- stress cooks because he likes having things to do with his hands. he also runs laps/paces around when he’s stressed
- runs his hands through his hair so it’s always messy
- he doesn’t bother combing his hair unless it’s for a special occasion like the first day of school, he just doesn’t care that much
- gets up early like aiden to keep up his physical fitness, doesn’t stray far though because his mom wakes up around the same time he does
- is VERY punctual. will be furious if someone makes plans and then is late. always arrives somewhere like, fifteen minutes early. he’s trying to break taylor’s habit of being late
- occasionally scolds taylor about how messy her locker is
- is extremely (and kind of scarily) meticulous. clean backpack, clean locker, clean room. it’s a habit
- book smart and figures things out pretty easily. he has an internal computer inside his head i swear. latches onto concepts very quickly
- likes math because he’s good at memorizing concepts but biology is his worst enemy, he gets queasy very easily
- motion sickness
- doesn’t actually have a set plan for the future, other than “help his family.” will probably do something related to sports (sports scholarship) or will do something math/analytical related
- spams people when they don’t respond to him but quits eventually (semicanon)
- has some sort of separation anxiety i swear he does
- keeps every single promise he makes because he hates broken promises (his dad told him he’d be fine and out of the hospital soon), he also doesn’t make a lot of promises
- dislikes nicknames like “champ” and “buddy”
- he’s ambidextrous
- he always seems to be like, tense? can’t relax at all. it might be because of his anxiety (HE HAS ANXIETY)
- only ever relaxes if he’s at home
- rarely watches television, he says it’s a waste of time (he always gets distracted and gets up and goes to do something else) he can leave it in the background though
- i think he has chronic pain, i don’t know where but i just think he does. everything just aches sometimes and he’s so young fuck life
- he’s okay with kids like his sister, not as good as her but he’ll take care of them (habit x37362828) he’d probably say everything really monotone though “there’s santa claus, wow.”
- he and taylor both have a pretty strong southern accent from living in middle of nowhere georgia (i think someone made an art post on this a while back :D)
- is really bad at video games because he gets frustrated easily
- he grinds his teeth when he sleeps and has jaw pain what a loser
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jazzzzzzhands · 6 months
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I was going to draw Dandy just sitting sweetly on a flower!! but then i noticed that there was just a liiiitle space next to them!! and Oopsie!! My hand slipped!! Pretend this @ is a big smooch!! @sketchy-tour
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dawnthefluffyduck · 5 months
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hey that's not supposed to be out there (uploaded wrong version at first haha whoops)
#not supposed to be that color either#i wonder who that belongs to#i had a very vague meaning for this in mind but saying it would spoil the fun#christ this took me forever#i wanted to do a quick project to give myself a break from my final#but accidentally made an entirely new kind of nightmare#BUT i can proudly say that i am very proud of this despite how long it took me#alrighty this blog is all about tracking progress so my thought on this;#it's not really as energetic as i had hoped to make it so i think that's the biggest technical issue i have with this#i'll try to get back to doing more gestures soon as a way to help with that#i think my shadows are a bit confusing too#i'm looking at it now and his glasses kinda taper off into the void of his fur bc i didnt mark the shadow along the left of his ear#but the thought of digging back through layers to fix it and blending that mess in is giving me a headache so i'm content with leaving it#i think i learned a lot about light and reflections though#my shadows aren't the greatest but i had so much fun rendering the glasses#and the glow of the soul pushed me to think about bounce light a lot more#figuring out how to make the colors look like they were glowing was a whole separate issue#i did it in the last big ralsei drawing i did but not nearly to this extent#i won't be doing something this large for a while after this but i'll keep trying to work on the things i didn't like about this#i think i'm gonna start putting my self-crit in the tags from now on#it really does bulk up the posts and it's hard to scroll past#i like reflecting on my work like this though#i've been able to draw a lot more since i've started doing it because it helps me create specific goals for myself#lets me keep pushing myself while still having fun with my art#ralsei#deltarune#deltarune fanart
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cryoriku · 11 months
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druidshollow · 5 months
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"what would your character be like without their trauma?" is such a hard question for me because it makes me feel like a massive asshole LMAO
(im attaching a picture of a tundra literally to add context to my ramble in the tags because my posts are structured by a sane person) (you should read the ramble in the tags i talk so much about rivers fsr)
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#like. rivers would probably just purpose funky things for the hell of it and study lizards and stuff#i think environmentalism would matter to him since he was created long before the great equalizer when there was like. actually a view#have you guys ever looked at a tundra for real theyre so pretty. i think the colours would be funkier though#purples and blues along with the reds and oranges i think but id have to draw it tio be sure its not ugly#anyways. rivers would probably be interested in nature conservation especially since the ancients destroyed the world-#but the iterators construction obviously had a massive part in that so hed feel ownership#him and glass wouldve got along VERY well in this circumstance since that matters a lot to her (specifically animal conservation though)#but at the same time glass doesnt exist without rivers trauma right. she cant exist if flowers isnt in his life because he Literally built#her (glass) just to be mean to rivers#doomed for real#i....... want them to be friends in the walky au. my massive block is trying to think of some reason nights Needs to leave his can because#he wouldnt if not required. and glass just wouldnt leave him. in no circumstance would they willingly separate from eachothers company#theyd ALSO need to be really fast because the only opportunity nights would get to get out is when odyssey goes to him to help her build#the weapon she needs to kill dune. (odyssey has the gift. the twins dont know anyone else who does((other than phrases obvsly)))#this happens a considerable amount of time after phrases and rivers escape. they have like. a month's time on them#odysseys like “if you guys are for real about leaving do NOT go straight south. dont. dont. dont. youre like 2 feet tall you WILL die”#nights is like “DEAR GOD SERIAL KILLERS??????” and glass is like “wtf youre only like a foot taller than us”#anyways i think glass and rivers would get along and rivers has a positive arc here right and realizes hes wrong and hes glad he didnt.#kill the twins. yeah its good you didnt do that dude#i jsut really really think theyd get along if rivers had the chance to associate her with anything but flowers horrid treatment of him#because in the normal story all he sees when he sees her is flowers. and like flowers could the twins can tap into his work and see his#files and logs and such whenever they wanted. they didnt do this very often- glass really never looked at rivers work unless she was told t#but rivers was just made SO paranoid by flowers abuse that thinking of being watched makes him feel sick and horrible#and his whole thing is trying to find a way to feel less horrible right so thats (part of) why he decides to get rid of them#hm. if rivers wassnt traumatized hed like nature and creatures. anyways#oc posting#look to the tags for the oc posting
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faunandfloraas · 4 months
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No but actually coming from someone with fine wavy/curly hair who had some hair loss and lots of issue I really and truly wish I could sit down and talk with Chan because he really needs someone who understands curly hair to get him some products and show him what to do and he also needs to stop using heat. Like no straightening. No hair drying. Or at least very sparsely.
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opens-up-4-nobody · 2 months
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...
#sorry im thinking abt death again#because it's weird to think that ive been in the room. maybe a meter away from someone as they died#that someone being my mom. its just weird. the time in the hospital feels like it happened in some dark little pocket universe detached from#time. a calm room and then the soft blips of a monitor then the nurse rushing in to say she'd passed#i dont kno y ppl use that phrase: passed on. i mean i do. it softens the topic. makes it sound peaceful. ive yet to use it. i just say she#died bc thats what happened. is that insensitive? i dunno. when i was home i realized that i come off as much stranger than i think. the way#my family see me doesnt fit how i see myself. i dont kno what to do with that. i dunno. theyre all together today#for an early easter. and im halfway across the country again. nose so stuffy ive had to mouth breathe for the last 3 days#and again. everything feels the same as it did before but also profoundly different. sometimes i cry in the mornings. or when i think abt#future vacations she wont be there for. bc in the end she quickly slipped away in a way that couldn't be described as peaceful until her#last half a day. and all i can think about in that tiny room is how scary it would be to lose control like that#and how its not fair and she didnt deserve to die only halfway through a lifetime. but its not about fair and its not about deserving.#sometimes bad things just happen. that's life. and now i own a book called motherless daughters. and now im standing with the countless#others who've lost their moms too early. ive already become aware of 3 ppl in my daily life who are in the same club#i keep thinking about this moment that happened between my parents at the hospital. apparently my dad was helping her get cleaned up and her#stomach was so bloated she looked like she had a bby in there. which my dad said. and my mom apparently said: but it's a baby no one want. i#dont kno y that upsets me so much. all the things i heard abt her being in the hospital before i got there upset me. and the rest of my#family was there to see it. so i have the least traumatic version of the story. and i got almost 27 years with her. except my sisters#probably got more time with her bc i spent so much time away. or maybe not. i dunno.#i dunno. im just sad that shes gone and sad that it was drawn out even a little bit. 6 days isnt long but im sure it felt like an eternity.#again not fair. nothings fair. 53 years of unfairness culminating in a tragedy. she would hate me characterizing it like that. she lived a#full life as they say. full with an asterisk on account of length#unrelated
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alvojake · 2 months
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I realized something today that if I were to go back and watch Kingdom I wouldn't be able to vote for anyone 😭 (I was only a skz stan atp) now I would rather jump off the tallest building into a burning pit of lava then ever choose now (as I'm now an ateez, skz and tbz stan.....)
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ef-1 · 1 year
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legs & lessons in perseverance | march '23
#so.#i fell into the fireplace lol#- thats the concise summary. but ive just been unwell health wise recently. i think ms is just harrowing to deal with#because you can go for so long symptom free and then one day you wake up and everything is wrong#your body feels wrong.#i remember being constantly angry at my body as though its a separate entity. especially when i was like 17/18.#because everytime i had a bad ms relapse i would literally breakdown in angry tears like- at my body. i was good to you. im meditating#im eating healthy. im exercising. ive been good to you.#but then suddenly you cant see or youre shaking uncontrollably or your limbs are numb#or my new favourite one: a couple of weeks ago i woke up at 4 am in a cold sweat. the inside of my thigh was burning#i dont mean like. exercise burning. i mean like struck a hot iron rod burning. it was obv nerve pain but that didnt stave off the panic#so i messaged my neurologist and hes like 'yeah its fine. wanna inject yourself?'#anyway. so recently i was helping my friend get his place houseparty ready and we were cleaning out the fire place#and my legs just gave out 😍#and i got so angry and humiliated i kind of just wanted to go to bed and not wake up tbh#which is what i usually do but like. i was angry. angry. scorpio angry as lidya would say. so i had a nap in his bed#and when i woke up i felt slightly better and for once i thought 'im not going to let my body ruin this day for me'#and i just dragged him to the markets with me. and i still had the tremors but we bought more greens than either of us needed#and we laughed and walked and he carried me to the car at the end of the trip and it was one of the best days ive had in a long while tbh#and it feels impossible but sometimes all u need is to brush the ash from ur knees and hide the scruffs with stockings &maybe youll be ok#💚#tw chronic illness#/ multiple sclerosis
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suddenrundown · 7 months
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considering faking my death to get out of this project. would still like to get a passing grade for it.
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straycalamities · 9 months
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i wanna draw but the thing is: i Think too much when i draw and so the horrors flood in
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mewtwo24 · 9 days
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You know reading vol 5 of mdzs before all the rest (don't ask me why I'm a clown and there were Circumstances) has to be the craziest experience of my life. Because it took all of ten minutes of wwx talking to literally hit me so hard in the gut I had to sit down and listen to really loud music for a while to calm down.
Who needs therapy when mxtx is alive and writing, I guess????? 🤡
Can't wait to get to the actual tragic parts I just know I'm gonna be that "help" frog phone meme
#mdzs#i was really out here thinking svsss would be my fave bc of lbh#and then i finally get around to reading mdzs and it blows my expectations out of the fucking water holy actual shit#and i just had this feeling the first time i read parts of it like 'oh. this series is going to kill me. im not coming back from this.'#and here i am booboo the fool getting my clown ass make-up on#idk how to explain it like i just fucking LOVE mxtx's takes on arrogance#that wwx is constantly being perceived as a show off and an incorrigible flirt and a know it all#how wwx cant always help the ways he acts out the desperation that has embedded itself into his very bones#how wwx only ever wanted to do the right thing and that having been so much of his downfall#how his worth and talent would always be eclipsed by virtue of his circumstances#how he's above needing recognition at his core but at the same time longs for an ounce of good will and positive recognition ->#how human he is despite his brilliance. how he never gets it no matter how hard he tries to be worthy.#like to me wwx is emblematic of what it means to be poor/an immigrant in high places#always villified always alien always wrong always unwelcome#no matter how clever or capable or kind youll always be an eyesore because you don't 'act right'. not 'one of them.' you never will be.#i just...the way he just wanted it all to be over by the end. the way he didnt even want to come back to life. that he was sick of it all.#im rattling the bars of my cage i love him I LOVE HIM i love him#i understand you lan wangji (and i love lwj too)#and even lan wangji too like. the way so many of their issues in the beginning stems from that self-same problem#how lwj couldn't live with his out of control feelings how he too couldn't quite lay down his pride#how lwj was also trapped by the expectations of his clan in his own way how so much of their separation was a form of penance#that the calamity of wwx's loss forced him to reconsider everything he thought he knew about himself and his life#how he was left with nothing but regret. how when wwx returns--lwj refuses to leave anything to chance this time#he refuses to let wwx be alone anymore--refuses to let him hurt himself for the sake of others refuses to just let it all happen#even if it means overstepping a boundary or propriety it doesn't matter--as long as wwx stays with him. pride be damned#god i just can't i just can't do it im biting im ripping things apart GOD#will also say the jokes about lwj being like. 'strict moral compass or BUST.' and then wwx literally committing like 17 felonies in the bg#while lwj is like 'crimes? what crimes. nothing to see here.' NEVER stops being funny. like i was pissing myself laughing#i know its a known trope but by god are they hilarious about it#also. lan qiren how many times do your nephews have to go catatonic for you to stop with the catholic guilt and repression
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marsuni · 2 months
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does your doctors ever just drop something on you much later about your meds or your conditions and it explains a lot
#Like my seizure meds can make me dehydrated#I've been on them three years and just kinda chalked up being thirsty to ya know...needing water but nope Keppra can make you dehydrated#Or when I was taking sucrafate for 6 months before a Dr told me I had to take it several hours before eating BC IT PREVENTS UPTAKE#OF ANYTHING INCLUDING MEDS SO I BASICALLY WASNT TAKING MY MEDS FOR MONTHS AND WAS GETTING SICK AND DIDNT KNOW WHY#BC NO ONE BOTHERED TO TELL ME I SHOULDNT TAKE IT WITH OTHER MEDS JUST NOT FOOD??#AND THE DOC DIDNT EVEN TELL ME INTENTIONALLY SHE JUST MENTIONED IT OFF HAND AND I WAS LIKE WAIT WHAT#SHE WAS SO SHOCKED NO ONE TOLD ME AND IT WASNT LISTED ON THE BOTTLE#I'm still mad about it I was getting extra seizures for months for no reason bc of an oversight#Since I got that info I've been taking my meds properly and I haven't had a seizure for almost a year#:)#Remember to ask every question you can think of and ask aggressively#Every interaction with other meds every side effect#You NEED to know you're not being pushy it's your body and health#ASK THINGS OF YOUR DR ITS WHY THEYRE THERE ITS FOR THE BEST#chronic illness#medicine#Medication#Even if you are being pushy it's your right to know everything about why and what they're giving you#I also thought Ativan was a neasua drug for a while bv they always give it to me in the er when I have a cvs episode#But it's for anxiety and they use it to put me out while the actual drugs work and that's okay!!!#But I didn't know so I stared asking for Ativan (and zofran) when I went in and got denied because they thought I was a junkie/on detox#For a med a doctor would otherwise order for my distress bc I didn't know better#Know your meds and know them well it can only help you in the long run#Keeping a list written or digital that you can show doctors also helps so they know how drugs can interact if your an er frequent flyer#Like me
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