#i do not even know how tf to tag this anymore... so i'm just gonna guess

[kindacreepy-kindaugly]

So disoriented......think I have most of the memories up til I became separate but the last few weeks are...a bit of a blur. Can't even tell if it's me feelin so low or if I'm blendin w/ someone else.

[444ctrl]

Tattoo Me / Eren Jaeger (Yaeger) x Black fem! Reader

Tags: Mature themes, sex, squirting, head (f and m receiving), p in v sex, tattoo artist Eren, black reader, +18, possessive! Eren, Jealous! Eren, Clingy! Eren

Word count: 2.8k / not proofread

“I can’t do this anymore!” You stared at Reiner. “What do you mean you can’t do this anymore?” “JUST THAT!” He let out a deep breath. “I’m sorry Y/n but I can’t fake this anymore. I don’t love you.” My face scrunched, “but this isn’t fake… it’s real.” He laughed, “you think THIS is real?!” He pointed at you then him. “No it’s never been real. Not for me anyway. I love Pieck.” I stared blankly at him. “What the fuck Reiner! How could you cheat on me?” You started to feel your eyes burn. “Don’t fucking cry. It doesn’t matter if you cry because I’m done. Don’t follow me or contact me. I'm going to pick my stuff up when you aren’t home.” On his way out he slammed our… my door. I felt the tears start to gush out of my eyes. You loved him and you know he loved me.

“Girl, you need to get it together!” Your friends wiped your tears away. “I’m trying, it's just we were together for 2 ½ years.” Kiana gave you a hug while Mari finished your makeup. “I’m done!” You looked at your friends and they squealed. “YES! You look good ash!” You turned to look at yourself in the mirror. You were so happy with your makeup and hair. You turned around and hugged your friends. “I love you guys so much!” “Aw it’s nothing anything for you boo.”

You and your friends were ready to go and you all looked perfect. “When we get to this club Y/n you have to talk to someone! You're gonna get some tonight!” Kiana clapped at Mari’s declaration. You laughed, “I will, I promise.”

The music in the club is blasting. Your mood automatically changes as soon as you walk in. All of you walk to the bar and get a drink. The first round was bought by a man and his friends. He was cute but he looked too old for you. “Y/n you see that guy over there he’s checking you out.” You turn your head and see a beautiful man with long brown hair and emerald eyes smiling at you. You look at your friends then hop out of your seat. “Well girls I gotta go.” One of your friends smacks your ass as you walk away and yells “you got it, girl”. He smirks and looks down at you. “Hey gorgeous.” You blush slightly, “Hey.”

You have had another drink by now and you two are talking and flirting. “I’m so glad your friends convinced you to come otherwise I wouldn’t have met you. You’re so beautiful it hurts me.” You laugh trying to cover up your nervousness. “You’re so cute, Eren.” “You are too darling.” You felt your clit pulse. “You want to go back to my place? It’s not that far from here?” You look up at him and nod. He puts his hand on your lower back and starts to walk to the exit. “EREN!” You both whip your heads around and look at this very short blond girl with an all gold dress and silver heels on. He mumbles under his breath. “what the fuck to you want Lana?” You look at him and then her. Omg… I’m some niggas side piece. TF. You try to get out of his grasp but he only clings onto you harder. He looks at you and makes sure to hold onto you tight. “WHY TF ARE YOU HERE WITH SOME BLACK BITCH! YOU’RE WHITE!!” Your jaw drops and you got free from Eren. He doesn’t even respond to her but runs after you. You run in the ladies room and text your friends to help you ASAP. Eren is banging on the bathroom door. “Y/n let’s talk! I swear it’s not what you think it is.” After sitting in the bathroom for 5 minutes Eren stops and Kiana speaks through the door. “It’s just me Y/n.” You open the door with tears running down your face. She gives you a hug and silently walks with you to the Uber where you meet Mari.

ONE WEEK LATER

You were out on a date with this man who said if you ever wanted to go out just hit him up. Well you did and now you two are downtown walking and finding things to do. “I’ve always wanted to get a tattoo.” He stopped and looked at you “bruh me too… ik of a tattoo shop one block away we should go.” You smiled at him, “Yea let’s do it.”

As you walk in, the smell of lavender and eucalyptus hits you and it smells good asf in here. “Hi, how can we help you today?” “We would like to get a tattoo.” She nodded, “Ok well if you fill out these forms we will get the space ready for y’all!” You both take the paperwork and fill it out.

You hand her back the forms and you two start to talk about what tattoos you want. You get called first and meet your tattoo artist. “Hi my name is Jean and I will be your tattoo artist today.” You talk for a little bit about how you don’t know what you want so he can do whatever he wants and wherever he wants. He asks you if he can put the angel number ‘444’ on your butt since it’s been popular in the shop and you say it’s fine. After he prepped you there was a knock on the door. He opened the door and stepped out. You heard whispering but couldn’t move to hear unless you wanted to get prepped again.

What’s happening outside the door:

“What is it, Eren? I’m about to tattoo a client.” “No tf you aren't, I am. You can take a break now.” Jean stares at Eren. “Why are you so pressed about tattooing my client?” “Jean it’s none of your business I just need to do it instead of you.” Jean laughed, “Eren I’ve known you since we were little. How do you know my client?” After a moment of silence Jean laughed even harder. “Oh is she that girl that you have talked about every night since last week. The one that gave you a hard on but left because that crazy bitch that used to stalk you was racist. well I’ll be damned. She’s fine asf so I get it but she’s still my client.” Eren punched Jean, “don’t look at her that way ever and it’s my shop and you work for me so I’ll do this one. I’ll even give you the commission I don’t want it.” He sighed, “Alright just letting you know she said she doesn’t care what she wants or where she wanted it so I prepped her for what’s been most-” Jean was interrupted by Y/n’s date. “I’m sorry to interrupt but is Y/n in here? Before Jean could answer Eren asked “Who are you?” The guy smiled, “I’m Y/n’s date.” Eren clenched his fist. Who tf does she think she is getting a date in less than a week when I’m still thinking about her. Jean finally answered, “yes she’s in there and he’s about to do her tattoo.” Eren nods, “I am.” “Ok thank you.” He smiles and walks to his room to get his tat. Before Jean could finish Eren walked into the room and closed the door.

Omg he’s finally back.

After 35 minutes I felt a tap on my shoulder. “Hey darling, your tattoo is done.” You snapped your neck around and looked into the man’s eyes. “OMG! WHY ARE YOU HERE?! WHY ARE YOU TATTOOING ME??!?” He smirked, “this is my shop darling.” You felt like you were stuck in a nightmare. “Want to see your lovely new tat?” “Sure.” He tells you to stand up and look in the long mirror. You look at Eren first seeing him admire his work. Well it must be good. You look down and see in beautiful cursive.

E. Jaeger

Your jaw drops and for the first 5 seconds you couldn’t make a noise. But after that you absolutely screamed. “OMG! WHAT THE FUCK?!” You turn to him and all he is doing is smirking. “You think this is fucking funny!?!” “No, I think you look better now. Perfect even.” You pull down your skirt and pick up your bag. You try to walk out the door but he stops you. “Nah you aren’t leaving me again.” Your eyes start to burn and water. “No no no darling you’re too pretty to cry.” He cups your cheek and caresses it. “Y/n since last Friday I’ve thought about you everyday and night. Not just sex but your personality too.” You feel a tear drip down the side of your cheek. He kisses it away and starts to kiss you all over your face and down the side of your neck. He whispers in your neck, “Y/n leave that man.” You moan quietly and it makes Eren want you more. He needs you and he knows you need him. “I can’t…” that made him angry. He knows you can and you want to but you are too nice and perfect to leave someone no matter what. “You will… do it for me baby.” You accidentally touch his print. He can’t take it anymore. He needs you. Now. He lays you on the table and pulls your skirt up. You clenched your thighs together. “No darling, I need to see you.” You slowly spread your legs and he just stared at you. “Eren don’t stare at me too long. It’s embarrassing.” “It’s nothing to be embarrassed about if I’m just looking at my favorite piece of art.” He took off your panties and put them in his pocket. “Eren you can’t keep those.” You don’t need them darling. Whores don’t need panties.” You gasped and bucked your hips in the air. “See you’re a whore. But remember you’re my whore.” He pulled you closer to him. You pussy right in front of his face. You’re so beautiful. You’re perfect for him and no one else. His tongue goes straight to your clit. He's flicking his tongue brutally, not letting up on you. You feel yourself getting close. You moaned and tried to clench your legs to not feel so much. His hand holds your thighs all the way to your sides making you feel everything. He’s brutal, not let up at all your head shoots back and your back arches. “Fuck!” Your orgasm is so long and so hard you feel like you’re floating. “Eren stop, I can't take it anymore.” You feel a second orgasm coming but this one feels different. “FUCK! I’m gonna pee, Eren stop!” He keeps going and at the last second before you let everything go he bites down on your clit. You moan so loud and buck your hips up into his face. When he pulls back his face is all wet with his bright smile. “I didn’t know I could do that…” He goes back down one more time to lick up all of your juices from your pussy. You reach for his zipper but he steps back. “Not now baby. I think your date is done with his tattoo. Remember to show him your tattoo. I think it makes you look absolutely gorgeous.” He wrote his personal number and Instagram on a business card. “For when you want to go out for real next time.” He helps you stand up and sucks on your neck before walking you out to the lobby. He waves to you and your date before you both walk out.

THE NEXT DAY

You rang the doorbell to Eren’s apartment. He opened the door and let you in. “You look so beautiful, baby.” “You look good too, Eren.” He pulls out the chair for you and then makes your plate. I made spaghetti with garlic bread and pesto chicken. “That sounds so good!” He smiled at you knowing good and well he found your instagram after you first met and found out your favorite food.

After you both ate you watched a sexy romance movie. He was paying attention to the film when you creeped over to him and now have your hands on his zip. He grabbed your wrist before you could go any further. “Are you sure you want this?” You nod your head completely sure of your decision. You unzip his pants and pull them down. You palm his print and he groans. You rub him from the outside of his underwear. “Fuck Y/n don’t tease me.” You rub his tip from the top of his underwear. You are a little intimidated by his size. He’s bigger than your ex and he was pretty big himself. He bucks his hips into your hands. “Baby hurry up please.” You pull his underwear down and his dick stands up straight. You immediately lick his large vein on the side of his dick. You aren’t even sucking him yet and he feels like he’s about to cum. “Shit…” He pushes your throat down so far you gag. “There you go baby, that's what I want to see.” He guides you up and down his dick he’s trying his hardest to control himself. You pull all the way back, “Eren you don’t need to hold back I can take it.” He shifts his body to where he can fully thrust into your mouth. His first thrust is hard and it catches you off guard but the second one is worse. He caressing your cheek as he fucks your face like he hates you. “You’re taking me so well… My pretty girl loves my cock.” You nodded slightly. “Stick out your tongue for me.” You do as he says and you cums on your tongue. “Let me see my cum on your tongue.” You stick out your tongue and then you swallow. “That’s my good girl, you knew exactly what I wanted.”

You take off your clothes, sitting on his legs with a condom in your hand. He laughed, “is this all you came for? A good fuck?” You shake your head and try to put the condom on him. “That one’s a little small baby. Now you're underestimating my dick size, wow that really hurt my feelings.” He pulls out one from his pocket and puts it on. “Remember I’m an XL baby. You’ll need to know for next time.” Your stomach tumbled a little bit. He laid you on the coach on your back. He had his tip at your entrance playing with your clit. “Fuck me already.” He glared at you for a second then rammed his hips all the way into you. You gasped at the feeling of him inside you. The look on your face almost made him cum right then and there. He pulled back and thrusted into you so hard and fast you felt like you were gonna squirt again. “It’s t-too much Eren.” You put your hands on his abs to try and stop him. He grabbed both of your hands in one of his and held them above your head. “Nah you wanted this. You wanted my dick so that’s what you are getting. Fucking slut can’t even take what she wanted.” You squeezed down on him. “You can’t cum until I say.” Your body did everything it could to slow him down but he couldn’t be stopped. “FUCK! Omg Eren you fuck me so good.” He smirks, “who’s fucking you rn?” “You!” Your face scrunched up, “say my name.” “Eren!” He grunted aggressively, “Louder.” “EREN!” “Fuck I’m gonna cum. Cum with me Y/n.” He used his other hand to rub your clit and overstimulate you. You both came at the same time and moaned in each other's mouths.

You were limp on his couch. He walked to his kitchen to get you some water. He sat down and moved you on top of him. He gave you some water and you happily drank it. “Y/n look.” You looked at him and he showed you his new tattoo.

[Your first initial.] Jaeger

Eren: I literally love this girl even though I haven’t known her that long. I need to marry her rn.

Y/n: This man 🫣. YALL I NEED HIM SO BAD. Love of my life frfr.

I know that happened fast but Eren is clingy asf. Mans wants to marry her ASAP now! Anyways thank you for reading.

[mrpldiddles]

accidental | t.blyth

a/n: just a little tom x remi insta edit that came to me randomly and that i'm posting so i can keep procrastinating my homework :) there is a timeline of their relationship that i have planned out and this does defer from that so it's a little impulsive post :)

warnings: slut shaming, pregnancy, mentions of cheating

tomremi posted:

tomremi remi seen out and about lately👀 congrats to the happy couple!!

comments:

user1 OMG??!!?!

user6 omg tom’s gonna officially be a daddy😩😩😩😩😩😩

-> user10 and remi’s gonna officially be a mommy🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭

user3 IS IT TOMS??!!?

-> user4 ofc it is???

-> hater1 i wouldn’t be so sure

-> user2 girl what

-> user7 yeah wtf??

-> hater2 i wouldn’t put it past her to cheat on tom she’s not good enough for him

-> tomremi girl get a life fr

-> hater2 says the one with a fan account for a celebrity couple

user6 are they even married???

-> user8 does it matter?? let them be happy??

-> hater3 it was totally an accident she’s such a slut

-> user4 1) it’s just as much tom’s doing 2) no need to be slut shame, they’re in a happy and healthy relationship together and 3) it’s not our business

-> hater3 she just seems the type🤷‍♀️

user12 OMG SO HAPPY FOR TOM AND REMI!!!

-> hater5 i doubt they last until the birth

-> hater6 if i were tom i’d bolt to not be tied down by her

-> hater5 riiiigggghhhtttt she’s totally baby trapping him

-> user14 omg wtf did remi ever do to you let the girl live

-> tomremi y’all haters needs to chill tf out and let them both live and enjoy this time in their lives.

remi.alaric and tomblyth posted:

remi.alaric what if i told you none of it was accidental (or your business)

tagged: @tomblyth

comments:

user2 THE CAPTION HAHAHAHA YES REMI GIRL GET THEIR ASSES

user5 SO HAPPY FOR YOU BOTH!!!!

user3 yessss girl shut those haters UP so happy for you both congrats!!!!

rachelzegler strongest woman i know and the most radiant mama ever can’t wait to meet baby bean🥰🫶

-> remi.alaric so blessed and grateful to have you in my corner❤️

joshandresrivera so proud and so excited for you both🙌🙌

-> remi.alaric ❤️❤️❤️

user9 those haters are reeeaaalllll quiet now since you gagged them!! congrats girl!!!

-> user5 SHE SLAYED SO HARD

stevie.alaric can’t wait to meet my godchild and tell them all about how badass their mom is🤭

-> stevie.alaric still can’t believe you’re gonna be a mom tho🤢

-> remi.alaric still can’t believe you’re gonna be an aunt aren’t we still only 7 and 5🫣

mama-alaric me and your dad are so proud of you sweetie and how strong you are. you’re going to be the best mom you can be no matter what anyone else has to say. i love you honey❤️

-> remi.alaric going to do my best because i learnt from the best. i love you and dad so much momma❤️

user12 THE HATERS ARE GAGGED FR FR HAHAHA

user15 remi you’re gonna be absolutely the best mom and your real fans are so so happy for you and tom!!

hunterschafer so happy for you two!! can’t wait to meet the little bean🥰

mrsamclaflin congrats to you both! you’re going to make the most amazing parents!❤️

sukiwaterhouse so so happy for you guys!! can’t wait for our little ones to meet one day🤭🥰

-> remi.alaric they’re going to be the absolute bestest of friends❤️

tomblyth the strongest and most incredible woman i’ve ever met. i’m so impossibly in love with you🩵

-> remi.alaric i’m so in love with you my heart physically aches🩵

remi.alaric and tomblyth posted:

tomblyth i’ve never been so in awe as i have been watching you these past months. watching you grow our baby and begin to become a mom has been so fulfilling and inspiring and i find myself falling more and more in love with you each day. i can’t wait to meet our little bean and fall even more in love with the both of you, if my heart can possibly expand anymore.

p.s. the last picture’s my absolute favourite🩵

tagged: @remi.alaric

comments:

user1 my eyes are sweating so badly right now😭😭😭

user4 oh my god he’s so in love with her😩😩

rachelzegler i’m not crying my eyes are just taking a shower😭😭😭

-> user3 same here girl🤧🤧

-> user7 pass the tissues😖😖

rachelzegler so so happy and excited for you both, two of the most talented, humble, generous and STUNNING people in this world. little bean is so so loved already

-> user9 petition for rachel to be little bean’s godmother!!!!!

joshandresrivera great now i gotta step up my instagram caption game😒

-> joshandresrivera JK so happy for you guys!!

-> user2 LMAO JOSH

hunterschafer the most stunning and deserving couple ever!! so so happy for you both!!

user5 oh so he’s in LOVE love

stevie.alaric you’ll never love her as much as i do😤😤

-> stevie.alaric but i’m so happy you’re here!!

-> user8 STEVIE LMAOOOOOO

-> user3 not stevie doing a complete 180 in tom’s comments😭😭

-> hater1 even her sister doesn’t think they’ll last pfffttt

-> stevie.alaric girl where EXACTLY did i say that?

-> user4 OHP stevie’s madddddd

-> user8 the alaric sisters are eating the haters UP

hater5 i still think she baby trapped him

-> tomblyth and i still think you should shut the fuck up

-> user2 OMG TOM

-> user9 tom and remi ain’t taking ANYONES shit

-> user6 baby bean has the most badass take-no-shit parents I LOVE IT

-> hater5 it was just an opinion🤷‍♀️ no need to attack.

-> remi.alaric well no one asked for it🤷🏻‍♀️ no need to be sensitive and dish it when you can’t take it.

-> user4 i am LOVING this clapback era for tom and remi

-> user5 baby bean is gonna grow up and take ZERO shit from ANYBODY

remi.alaric thank you for being the most supportive, generous and caring partner anyone could ever ask for. i truly couldn’t do any of this without you and i wouldn’t ever want to. i love you and our little bean so incredibly much i can’t express it. forever and ever my love🩵

-> tomblyth no need to thank me when i’d do it all again in a heartbeat. forever and ever because you’re never getting rid of me🩵

-> stevie.alaric y’all are sickeningly sweet

-> rachelzegler so adorbs i can’t🤧

-> rachelzegler but save it for offline jeeez

[acompassionatemonster]

I seriously think I’m speaking to a three year old because there’s no way you can be older than a toddler with how stupid you are. If you are older, please consider going back to school because you’re not gonna get far in life with your lack of common sense and underdeveloped brain. There is no way you can call me illiterate when you literally started your reply with, ‘not you’re mad’ and ended with ‘stay one that Jujutsu Kaisen season two’. And in your first reply you did get your ‘your’ and ‘you’re’ mixed up - you used ‘your’ when it should’ve been ‘you’re so scared’. Now please tell me if that made any sense. Take your head out of your ass and admit how much of an imbecile you are.

Love don’t worry about if I have a job or not, I know I am and will be fine but it’s you that you should be worried about right now. I don’t think you can get a job with your stupidity and illiteracy - no wonder why you read manga, bro just follows the pictures and ignores all the actual writing. Please do yourself and everyone else a favour and log off of Tumblr and every other social and pick up an actual book.

Oh come on now, don’t be a coward and avoid my question. I’ll stop bothering you when you either answer what media you are planning to consume soon or admit that you putting a Gojo spoiler without any spoiler warning and under a Toji tag was idiotic and insensitive (even though you strongly disagree - I’m sorry I didn’t know we had a new Joker over here- not that you have the IQ to be able to pull that off). I’m sorry that I’m the only honest person in your life to say you are insensitive. I bet you don’t even know what that word means given that your literacy and comprehension skills are very limited. So I’ll help you out a bit (because I doubt you can even spell it) and give you a definition, ‘insensitive’ (an adjective) - showing or feeling no concern for other’s feelings. A synonym would be ‘inconsiderate’. You can’t prove me wrong that those words don’t describe you. It was a big spoiler and I know it because you were probably crying over it and in your post you literally say you’re not ‘reading jjk anymore idc’ - therefore, you had no right in spoiling it for others, get that into your thick head and small fish brain.

I’m sorry I didn’t know you were a sheep and posting spoilers without warnings because, ‘literally everyone on here isn’t’. Are you that daft? Just because everyone isn’t, doesn’t mean it’s not wrong. Bro are you saying that if the purge happened and everyone was out wreaking havoc, you’d do the same thing and still say it’s not wrong? Are you a child that doesn’t know right from wrong? Please for the love of God, for your own future and safety, go back to school.

TLDR: stfu and tell me your opinion when you have a present dad x and sorry if this was too much writing for your bozo self to process mwah.

I think I'm speaking to someone who dropped out of school, like literally dropped out of school in the 7th grade. Because if YOU'RE SO SCARED OF SPOILERS WHY ARE YOU ON TUMBLR?? LIKE I FUCKING SAID YOU PEOPLE HAVE SERIOUS ISSUES. IF YOU DONT READ THE NEW CHAPTERS THEN THATS, ON WHO??? ITS ON YOU. and why are you harassing me about my spelling?? Bitch it's fucking Tumblr, I'm not writing a thesis, a research paper or even a fucking essay. If I wanted to write a whole fucking article and then yes I would make sure that my spellings of both 'your' and 'you're were correct. However IM NOT. AND IDGAF. So why tf would I care if I spelt something wrong or mixed a few words up???. You bitches are talentless, jobless, bored and can't fucking read nor write and still live with YOURE parents in their BASEMENT. AND WANNA COME AFTER ME BECAUSE YOU GOT SPOILED. BITCH I DONT CARE IF YOU DIDNT READ THE CHAPTER AND FOUND OUT GOJO IS DEAD!!!!! BECAUSE SOCIAL MEDIA HAS SPOILERS E V E R Y W H E R E. DONT COME ONLINE AND YOU WONT GET SPOLUED THEN YOU FUCKING ASSHAT. YOUR mother must have dropped your special ass on the head as a baby, because why are you at YOUR grown ass age GOING ON DIFFERENT PROFILES TO HARASS ME ABOUT A FICTIONAL FUCKING CHARACTER. I just fucking know you don't take baths OR EVEN WASH THAT FUCKING FILTHY ASS OF YOURS. it's fucking disgusting that YOUR Neanderthal ass came on here to give me a hard time because you what??? Can't keep up with the chapters when it releases??? Not my problem fucktard. And I'll tag my fucking posts with whatever I want. And I did answer your question, I said and I quote I don't care sweetie. So why don't you go to sleep and roll over on that cockroach infested ass floor mattress you sleep on every night. Roll over and go get caught up to the new chapters. Imagine trying to harass someone because YOU live in a section 8 apartment, with 15 other family members, have roaches and rats crawling all over you while you sleep and mad at me. NOBODY GIVES A FUCK ABOUT YOU!!! I'm just sure YOURE a fucking foster child whose mother and father left your Crack baby ass in foster care. Because there's no way that someone who had a loving, family or SUPPORT SYSTEM IS THIS BOTHERED. AND IF YOU'RE SO FUCKING BRAVE WHY WERE YOU POSTING ANONYMOUSLY??? GET A LIFE YOU SMALL BRAINED, LONELY, PATHETIC, NEANDERTHAL ASS BITCH. I HOPE YOU TOSS AND TURN ON THAT FLOOR MATTRESS YOU SHARE WITH YOU 8 SIBLINGS EVERY NIGHT.

and stop coming on my page, mad ass., stupid ass, MONKEY ASS BITCH.

[kinktae]

the fact that you will bring up mental illness as your defence but still not try to understand other writers problem is so sad rosie . your readers also read other peoples (at least i do] so i am upset you only think about yourself like this .

u know what FUCK IT this shit is not happening twice to me. do not read if u don't want angry rose!! and if ur anon? please just leave. me. alone.

in 2019 i got attacked like fucking crazy and when I shared how much it affected me bc i have problems with anxiety specific pertaining to my safety (since i was getting fucking dox threats) and a fucking mutual of mine made a vague post saying i was "guilt-tripping ppl with my mental illness." and guess what the fuck ur doing to me now!!! doing the same shit to me!!! do u know how damaging that was for me? someone who already does not open up to anyone??? to be told i cant open up to my readers on MY blog??? this was some real world shit okay. i deadass went to therapy. I'm talking about this affecting my REAL LIFE okay not just some blog on tumblr dot com. I paid real money to fix a real problem that this shit hellsite created for me. How fucking stupid is that!!!!!!!!!!

to this day i struggle feeling like I can't fucking talk about my mental illness bc ppl would think i was using it as a weapon. my anxiety got so bad that to had to drop out of fucking college. even now when smthn is wrong and my loved ones are in person asking me whats wrong i feel my throat close up like i shouldn't speak. i have to FORCE the words out of my throat. This isn't me blaming tumblr for my mental illness. IM responsible for my mental illness. so I've learned to set boundaries.

You don't like how i do my tags? fine. unfollow. block. i genuinely wish u the best of luck. genuinely. i mean that with all of my person. But i will not. WILL NOT. be told that i cant talk about my mental illness?? I AM MENTALLY ILL. ITS NOT A TITLE IF IT AFFECTS HOW I LIVE MY DAY-TO-DAY ITS APART OF ME TF???? what the hell does insulting me in my inbox calling me all sorts of names and sending fucking asks talking shit to other authors have to do with community? fuck that. If that's what this community does, then I'm not a part of it. if i am telling u that i cant handle this conversation nor give u the result u are wanting and nothing productive will come out of it its bc i am setting boundaries and respecting ur time. this sooooo vile i don't even have the fucking words. ill be honest ill have to go back to see what i posted bc i did act on emotion and just rambled but i don't remember dropping "i use tags how i want bc I'm mentally ill!!" anywhere.

All i ever want to do is write. I love bts. I love writing. it is my one true love in this world and sharing it with my readers has given me more than I could ever explain. They are my everything. You guys are my everything. And I'm sorry this app has robbed me of feeling comfortable to talk to you guys about everything.

From now on im won't be answering anything that isn't pertaining to my fics or bts. I'm sorry but when this is just ridiculous. I won't have my happiness and sanity destroyed by this app anymore. This has exhausted me. There's a reason I will never make anymore friends on this app. There's a reason I don't answer pms anymore. Because my best wont be good enough for some ppl and i don't know how to healthy cope with that because GASP!!! IM MENTALLY ILLLLLLLL!!! So the only solution is to no longer engage. I'm done. I'm moving forward from here on out. The tags stay. Anything outside the realm of this blog doesn't exist. Just gonna post my once a year silly little fic and move the fuck on. toodaloo!

[wasterella]

okokok, so I know you’re not in SnK anymore (i respect that bc i fell out of it in 2015 and came back like a couple months ago lmao) but i just want you to know I’m so glad I’ve found and read your fics. Good Enough to Eat is like my fucking ereri bible, every ereri fic i read I’m like :// “but would GEtE!Levi do this?” LMAO really when i finished reading every single one of ur snk fics i audibly groaned bc i thought that now i have to wade through the piles of really shitty ereri fics on the tag that have insane kudos (and I’ve already reread GEtE, which is my utmost favorite of ur ereri fics, twice already)

I do know teen wolf though (seen every episode) but like you’ve said to other people, i fell out of it and don’t feel the urge rn to come back but when i do (and who knows when that’ll be, a couple months or years from now? I’ll circle back eventually), I’m immediately hitting the books with ur long list of fics for that fandom!

and reading ur reaction to the plot of SnK is so funny to me bc that’s exactly how I reacted when i came back to half the people dead and other mind blowing shit like eren having a brother lmao! Frankly i wanna watch it (i only saw season 1 bc that was all there was at the time) but i think I’m gonna stop at season 3 and pretend like the plot didn’t do a 180 and start flying off the map bc I’m not crazy about the end game plot lol also mainly bc season 3 levi gives the same energy as the exact way u write levi it’s so comforting

wow this was a very long ask I’m so sorry but i just felt like i had to say something after i tried to do the walk of shame back to the general ereri tag and felt miserable, truly i love your writing so so much i feel like i could trust heart and mind with ur writing and i wouldn’t have to worry about whether or not I’m gonna like reading a fic, bc if it’s yours i know i will. I hope you’re doing well these days and that ur have a blast with Derek and stiles :)

You are so, so sweet, omg ;~; Thank you so much! Seriously, I really appreciate it, and I'm so glad you liked GEtE!!! It was so fun to write (and honestly what made me move from SnK to TW so whoops? lol Turns out I like writing about Werewolves HAHAHA!) Seriously, you're so sweet, thank you so much!! 💕💕

Awww, that means a lot to me, thank you! I know a lot of people have fallen out of TW, both because it ended and because of HOW it ended (and the dumpster fire that was the movie recently) but idk, I like the characters. I never even saw past season 4, so I just have fun with it haha. But totally understand the falling out of it. If you ever do come back, I hope you know there's tooooons of new TW stuff out there from so many amazing new creators to enjoy :)

WAIT EREN HAS A BROTHER?! Omg when tf did that happen??? Did he knows? Is he a half-brother? Was he hidden in the basement?! IS THAT WHAT IS IN THE BASEMENT?!?!?! Man, SnK... the series that keeps on giving me explosions in the brain. Wow. Well. I don't even know who all is alive or dead anymore tbh haha. They could all be dead by now and I'd never know |D Oh wellll... But thank you ;~; That's amazing to hear about S3 Levi, thank you so much!!!

You are just the sweetest bean, thank you so, so much. For real, this ask was lovely, you are lovely, and this was so kind. I appreciate you so much, thank you!! <3<3<3

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

Which do u think has been ur most iconic anon ask akakqjqk

my most iconic anon ask...? Damn, I dunno sksks

Y'know how many anon asks I've answered since starting this blog? with all the themed nights I had? When you go to my blog and go to the #asks tag, there's over 200 pages soooo I honestly don't know if I can give you *the* definitive iconic anon ask.

Also, what do you mean when you say iconic? Are we talkin' the most memorable? and is it in a positive or negative light? because not gonna lie, anon, the anons that I remember the most are negative. Isn't that how it always goes? You could get 10 asks, 9 positive experiences and 1 negative and it's that one negative that's gonna stick with ya. Awesome, right?

I do think I have an experience with a certain set of anons from the same person that I suppose you could say is "iconic" or memorable in a shitty way? In fact, they're a set of anons that I never even publicly answered.

I believe I shared some of the story once before when I was promoting The Writer's Guild? But not the whole story, just the part that explained why people had to directly message me if they wanted to join.

I dunno, maybe it'll be good to fully share this, get it off my chest and all that. It's probably the most bizarre thing to happen to me in this fandom, and not a good bizarre.

Y'know how I used to do T5F on this blog? They were a lot of fun, I loved making them! But, the very first one I ever did about the top 5 dumbest things about TFS not only got me yelled at by an anon, but they kinda sorta spied on me in an old discord chat. It's a wild story, most of the chat was present for it and it was an overall uncomfortable and unbelievable night.

I wish I had taken screenshots but it didn't occur to me at the time, and I'm not apart of that chat anymore for this reason, but you can even ask @pi-creates or anyone else who was present.

So, the reason this anon was upset with me and this T5F I posted was a joke I made about Violet.... because of course this all happened because of Violet sksksk. I don't exactly have a happy history when it comes to interacting with hardcore Violet stans, they don't really care for my takes on her character or her relationships.

The 4th entry on that post was about Abel's shotgun and how it doesn't make sense that Louis was the only one hit by it. I said the following:

"Soooo…. I guess the buckshot swerves around and above Violet to ONLY hit Louis? Like, I know she ducks a bit but I still feel like something should’ve nicked her as well?? At least?? Like, are lesbians immune to shotguns and that’s why nothing hit Violet?? Am I only learning this now??"

I made this joke as a way to show how absurd the whole thing with Abel's gun was, I was being hyperbolic, didn't think twice about it, right? I post the T5F, it's well received, I'm already planning for the next week's T5F.... but then I got the first anon. It was mostly in all caps yelling at me for being lesbophic, hating Violet, telling me to shut the fuck up and get out, etc.

Here's the deal, if this person was genuinely upset with my bad throwaway joke about Violet, then that's fair. If they had sent me an ask that was like "Hey, that joke you made about Violet made me uncomfortable, you shouldn't make jokes about lesbians like that, especially if you're not a lesbian." then I would've responded with an apology and a promise to do better. Because yeah, I am truly sorry if that did rub some the wrong way, and I've tried to watch myself, make sure I'm not making jokes like that after this whole thing happened, getting second opinions, doing what I can to not make anyone else feel uncomfortable.

That person didn't do that, they were aggressive and I've learned that aggressive anons are not worth responding to, so I didn't. But back in that old discord server, I used to share those anons with the group and we would talk about them. This person sent me another ask that was super passive aggressive, I remember it going something like, "hey bestie when are you going to respond to my ask calling you out for being lesbophic?" which I shared with the group to get their take on the joke and this anon.

As we discussed this, more anons kept coming in from the same person, all about the same thing, written the same way, all aggressive.

It stopped being all fun and games when the asks started responding to the things I was saying in the chat. We figured out that either this person was in our chat, or someone in chat was sending them everything I was saying.

What's funny is we all had a clear guess on who it was- someone joined the server under the most generic name of like "Anna Smith," they had clouis fanart as their picture, and they were never online... until that night. That night was the first time they have ever shown up as online, they were online the entire time we were talking about this, and when Pi messaged them, they responded but then went offline and the asks stopped coming in.

Like... cut and dry, right? They got caught. It was clearly this random person who was never online, who never interacted with us, who randomly joined and was in the server for I dunno... weeks?

Maybe it was them. I don't actually know and I never will, and it made me so paranoid to be in the group that I eventually left.

But the part that gets me the most? This anon made me feel like I had to explain myself to the chat about my sexuality, something I never shared here on tumblr or with the group for personal reasons.

The ask that kickstarted the realization that this anon was spying on our chat simply asked "are you wlw?"

which again, I didn't publicly answer, but brought to chat because I was pretty sure this person was expecting/hoping for me to say I'm straight so they could have their "GOTCHA" moment, y'know? or they got ahead of themselves and had an "oh shit, what if she's not straight?" moment after calling me lesbophobic, a bitch, whatever other insults they called me that I can't remember.

After I shared that, I felt like I had to justify my sexuality? in a way? I don't know how to describe it, it felt a little bit like I was in a corner with ample room to get out but I had to decide which direction to go but once I went, there was no going back. I was worried that my friends would end up thinking that I was just some straight person making jokes about lesbians, that I didn't respect queer women because I wasn't giving the anon what they wanted... So I told the truth that yeah, I am wlw, I'm bisexual.

Then I got an ask that was something like "and being bi isn't the same as being lesbian, you can't talk about lesbians" so on, they said something about how no one jokes about Clementine's bisexuality [which isn't true, people joke about Clementine being bi all the time and if I had made the same exact joke about Clem instead of Violet, then I bet that anon wouldn't have said anything to me] so don't make them about Violet, same stuff they've said before... which set off alarm bells because it was almost like they saw exactly what I typed in chat.

It's just not something I put on display, y'know? My bisexuality is mine, it's personal, and that was definitely not the way I wanted to tell my friends in chat but it's how it went, it's how people found out, and now here we are.

I'm pretty sure all of us were weirded out, uncomfortable, it was.... an experience, lemme tell you.

....so does this count as iconic? sksksks

I know this probably wasn't the answer you were looking for but hey, if I have to give my most memorable anon[s], then that one takes it.

[leoprosy]

Monster High Live Action THOTS

welcome to thots :)

im ur host leonidas thotticus and today we are talking Monster High: The Movie (2022) with some spoilers ! it is all OPINION and only on the viewing of the movie versus my own MH opinions. Mostly on character portrayal and designs! and i had fun writing this lol

tbhh honestly i am not a good critic because a movie that entertains me is a good movie.

I think the best viewing experience is thinking of it as separate from the original because they aren't the same, and comparing them is kind of pointless, and i'll try to not do that but it is hard.

I'm only giving opinions here cause I haven't done any research besides like scrolling the tag on tumblr lol.

My fave was Frankie, obviously. Nonbinary, neurodivergent representation!! I felt very seen, and represented!! I wish i was that cool in high school! They're full of knowledge, don't really know social rules (and even comment on the fact that there seems to be this rule book that everyone but them has read) and man MOOD. I love their outfits, they are the right amount of ugly that i personally love to sport and yeah <3 big love for Frankie.

Draculaura made me kinda :/ initially because she's kinda a bitch at the beginning. but! she isnt meant to be G1 Draculaura! I wish she was kinder but she comes around. I really related to having parents that have insane expectations of you (the whole 'a 92% is failing' thing was like. wow mood.) and not wanting to let them down so you aren't your full self around them? heart breaking. love u draculaura. also loved that Dracula was a little pink lol.

Clawdeen was alright. Her actress was very um.... Disney in the 2000s acting wise. But like it wasn't bad! I think the half human half werewolf thing has the potential to be cool but they were really fast to be like 'hey we actually are cool with humans!' and outed Clawdeen which is weird like? i feel like the other students weren't just gonna be accepting immediately. Like, idk way to put a target on her. Her outfits were definitely not the most fashionable but i did like some of them! Also the ears were really cool :3 she also has a pretty singing voice ngl she killed it

Cleo was boring. i miss her being a mean girl who also supported her ghouls and loved them. like. she only comes around cause Clawdeen saved her? also dont understand Deuce's reasons for leaving her? were they bullies together and he didn't want to be anymore? i think that's what i got from that? wack.

Ghoulia also wasn't given very much screentime, and they took away the whole zombie genius thing!! which sucks cause i really liked that she was so smart even though people couldn't understand her all the time. But!! Cleo and the ghouls could and always trusted her!! she was such a side character in this movie. I get that maybe they didnt have the budget for the other characters to have bigger storylines or whatever and thats cool. I hope they do more with everyone in the animated show, cause it seems like it follows the same lore as the movie thus far.

Deuce actually still very swaggy even though he looks like Jughead. I miss his sunglasses cause how tf do normal glasses protect people !?!?! maybe they explained it and i missed it

Heath :( my poor flamey boy. :( the cgi was so bad. and he barely did anything. but again, not enough budget and time whatever. pls more heath in the show <3

I loved Bloodgood but her jacket was like. so cheap looking. the lining stuff on the collar was so weird? like they didn't completely cover it? and the buttons were weird? idk it didnt vibe with me.

Mr. Komos did look like Jackson and then wound up being Hyde's son which is cool! fun twist! easy to see coming but still interesting i think. His full monster design was kinda funny though. like not super scary. the power to take other monster's powers?? pretty sick ngl.

Some of the outfits were boring, some of them were alright and fun even! Frankie's were my favorite obvs. I think they gave Draculaura a darker aesthetic which is cool and witchy but i also hope they bring back some of the more like dainty victorian looks to kinda idk? balance it? clash a little in a good way? they were more modern designs for sure and i get that, and that it wasn't ever going to be as alternative and gothic as the original and thats okay! i think they could've done more but hey. budget i guess.

OVERALL

it was as cheesy and goofy and plot-hole ridden as any other MH movie I've seen. Was it a Cinematic Masterpiece? No. Was it pretty okay? yeah! fun, silly, definitely a kids movie I would've enjoyed as a kid. I'd say if you're gonna watch it- pirate it! and maybe don't go in thinking you're gonna hate it cause then i mean, yeah you're gonna hate it. it isnt G1, don't expect it to be.

thank u for coming to my thots, i might do this more often because its fun :) there are lots of movies i've never seen that everyone ever has seen so maybe? i'll do that! idk like and subcscribes

[princess-viola]

Source

I was gonna post this in the tags, but it's a lot easier for me to write it outside of the tags, so I'm putting it here below the keep reading thing.

ANYWAYS I honestly love this art??? Like I'm super into mid-tf and this is like the perfect mid-tf to me?

The way Mana's mouth has almost completely been transformed into a frog's mouth and her new (distended!) vocal sac just tells me that at this point in the transformation, she is either completely incapable of human speech anymore (she can only croak like the frog she is becoming) or, if she can still speak, it's peppered with frog croaks.

Then you get her mismatched eyes: one of them is still her completely normal eye but the other doesn't have much long to go before it's completely become a frog's eye. She still has a bit of her old eye color left but it's probably not long before that entire eye has become yellow and her pupil has completely become slit-like.

Can't forget about how her arms and legs are being transformed too.

I want to talk about her arms first. They're still mostly human in appearance, but her new frog hands and her new green skin color shows that: the transformation of her human limbs to frog limbs is starting from the extremities. And then you get into her new frog hands too, just how her fingers are extending and fusing together to form her new three fingered hands. Once again the mismatched aspect of the transformation is just something I love: one of her hands has nearly completely finished becoming a frog hand but the other has barely started to transform.

Finally you have her legs, Mana's soon-to-be frog legs. For starters, she's crouched similar to a frog, can she still stand up and walk like a human or at this point must she hop around like a frog? One thing is for certain though: her legs have certainly increased in size considering that both her socks and her leggings are visibly being ripped apart. Of course, there is also her new frog feet having burst out of her shoes. If there's one thing I could say I dislike about this art, it's that that aspect of the transformation has already been completed and we don't get a 'one foot is nearly fully froggified and the other is only partially', but I also suppose it'd be similar to the hands (her toes growing in length and fusing together to form her three froggy toes).

Also, it just makes you wonder what this transformation would look like if it continued, especially the rest of her body (and I don't want to get into detail about that or think about that considering this character is 14 beyond 'Well her body will probably be transformed into a frog's body') and what the end result will be: Will Mana be completely a frog with absolutely no evidence that she was previously Mana Fujisaki or will she still remain elements of her 'Mananess', even after becoming a frog. (Personally considering that the art shows no changes to her hair, I imagine that Frog!Mana would still at least have that, like how sometimes when a character gets transformed in anime or cartoons, their hair remains unchanged so viewers can easily tell that it's still them, you know? Of course - her hair could also fall out as the last step of the transformation as well, but I prefer to imagine it'd remain [similarly, I also like to imagine that, her confused expression in the art aside, she would retain her internal human mind, rather than becoming a frog both physically and mentally - and honestly I can view her expression as like 'What is happening?' anyways])

Did I really just write 600 words as to why I love this piece of art of Mana Fujisaki from Onegai My Melody being transformed into a frog?

Yes, yes I did.

Do I regret it?

No, no I don't.

[thelegendofclarke]

Lose You Too by eyessharpweaponshot // January 28, 2022 @bellarkejanuaryjoy

Take the shot, Blake!" Clarke strains as loud as she’s able.

"Shut up, Clarke!" Bellamy yells back, seemingly a little distracted by her in this amount of danger. He should be keeping a clear head.

Clarke wills any fight left in her to the surface because she has to act now. Emerson could take Bellamy out in a heartbeat. It’s a dangerous move, she could die easily here by the Unsub’s hands, but at least Bellamy will be safe.  She struggles, pulling Emerson’s arm with her hands. The sound of her gun firing almost deafens her but like she suspected, the bullet missed Bellamy in the commotion. Bellamy is on Emerson as quick as lightning and Clarke is surprised to find herself free and pretty much unharmed, crouching on all fours on the ground.

It was a massive risk that paid off.

Clarke is gasping, her airway feeling like the size of a straw, cutting her like she’s trying to swallow a razor blade. It’s painful to breathe, maybe it’s the worry or maybe it’s the physical pain of trying to swallow air. All the same, Clarke draws breath like she never will again.

A few minutes pass and she starts to regain control of her breathing. She sees cops and S.W.A.T agents pushing Carl Emerson passed her in cuffs and Clarke breathes out a sigh of relief. She lifts her head to look for Bellamy but he’s already beside her, helping her onto her feet. Clarke gets her first look at him since the ordeal.

His face is concerned and tight with worry - but unharmed. Clarke’s heart unclenches and she can breathe easy, despite her throat burning. His fingers reach out, gently touching her face and turning it slightly so he can get a better view of her neck. Tingles shoot through her at the contact and it’s silent between them for a few moments, tender.

Bellamy’s eyes are soft with concern and sadness, making Clarke unsure of what to say or do. She yearns to close the distance between them, fall into his arms like it’s her birthright. She shows some restraint though as Bellamy takes a good look at her. Once he knows for sure that she’s okay as can be, Clarke notices the look in his eyes change and feels a push against her shoulders.

"That’s twice, Clarke." Bellamy pushes her again. "Twice! Twice in two days you’ve put your life in the hands of an Unsub with a gun. Do you want to die? Do you?"

Clarke and Bellamy, FBI agents - both too emotional to be level-headed in the dangerous situations they face together.

A Bellarke Criminal Minds Au based on @eyessharpweaponshot‘s amazing fic!

Made for @bellarkejanuaryjoy 2022

[flrtwoo]

wc: 1.3k

as changmin neared the locker room, he heard a bunch of shouts and hoots coming from inside. soon after, a crowd of highschool kids started making their way out of the room, buzzing with energy and excitement. siyeon, who was in the crowd, spotted him and ran towards her favorite uncle.

"uncle changmin!" she shouted, earning a jolt from the clueless guy. when he saw siyeon coming his way, he smiled so wide and opened his arms for her. she jumped into the hug, laughing in happiness.

"that's a lie, you now have all the time in the world to do mom's errands WHICH you can't run away from anymore!"

"okay... maybe but don't think that i'm not dragging you with me to do them!"

you watched changmin and siyeon interact so animatedly from the entrance of the locker room, and you couldn't help but fall even further for the guy who's already stolen your heart. his smile could literally light up the whole world, you truly believed that.

"so i lost to dimples? huh."

"so i lost to dimples? huh."

you turned to meet the owner of the voice. "younghoon i still don't know how to respond to your comments, i love you but also are we really okay?"

your best friend laughed as he slung an arm around your shoulders. "YES we're okaaay it's just funny to see your reactions whenever i make comments about my crush on you!"

"you're sick, you know that? sick in the motherfriking head." you poked his head, younghoon continuing to laugh. "i know, i know."

from his peripheral vision, he saw changmin waving siyeon goodbye and walking towards you. with that, younghoon made it his cue to leave.

"looks like lover boy is coming right this way, so don't feel pressured to come to the lunch! i'll take care of the kids for now, you enjoooy your time." he teased and winked at you. you pretended to gag, mouthing a "what the fuck?" to him as he shrugged and left your side.

once you faced forward, you were met with a very nervous-looking changmin. "congrats y/n! you're the last person i needed to congratulate, i already spoke with younghoon but yea." he said.

"thanks changmin." you gave him a soft smile. he looked extremely anxious and you didn't know what was going through his head, so the both of you just kind of stood there in an awkward silence.

as you were about to end the conversation because where tf was this going to go, changmin cleared his throat. "i know your busy with the team, but can we talk? there's something i actually need to say to you."

"oh, sure! we can talk outside, at least it doesn't smell like chlorine and sweat out there." you commented, trying to lighten the mood. however, changmin didn't respond and just made a beeline towards the entrance of the arena.

you were confused, a little scared even. "what if he didn't want to be friends anymore? what if he was moving away to someplace far? what if he's not actually human? what if-"

"y/n, don't worry! it's nothing of that sort." he chuckled. "holy shit i thought out loud." your face grew beet red, and you stuttered out an apology for how he shouldn't have heard your thoughts.

you two eventually made it outside after an excruciating minute of you fanning the red out of your face and him trying to hold in his laughter at your embarrassment. you found a bench and sat on it, gesturing for him to follow.

as he sat down, he rubbed his hands against his pants, wiping off the nervous sweat that had formed. "okay, y/n i'll need you to listen to me carefully. let me know your thoughts after, alright?" he asked as he turned to face you.

"will do changmin!" you turned to face him too and flashed him an encouraging smile.

changmin was nervous in front of you, but the warmth you exuded from your smile alone was enough to give him the confidence to just think fuck it and tell you what he's been meaning to tell you for a while now.

"y/n the way we met, it was so, how do i put this... out of the blue? i mean, who expects to be punched during work duty and be pushed into the pool for literally standing there?"

you laughed at this, recalling the memory of how messed up your first and second meetings were.

"okay, i admit the second time was partly my fault, but still! it's crazy to tell people 'yea i met them in a haunted house where i was the scarer they punched'! but honestly, it's a much more interesting story than all the other 'how did you meet?' stories out there."

you nodded in agreement.

"when i met you the third time, you as siyeon's coach and me as her uncle, not gonna lie i wasn't the happiest about that. i'm sure you knew that too. but we kept meeting and meeting again under the most unexpected circumstances, and eventually i just thought 'maybe they're meant to be in my life, one way or another.'"

"we started talking more and hanging out, and soon i started looking forward to every time we talked and, well, hung out. i mean, you made even the boring things seem fun! that time i was studying for that dance theory test? all you did was ask the dumbest questions and i was already on the floor laughing my ass off!"

you wanted to protest about how your questions were NOT dumb, but changmin stopped you.

"i'm sorry, yes your questions were not dumb, i was just kidding." he patted your head, smiling affectionately at you. you rolled your eyes, however a smile similar to his soon made its way to your face too.

seeing you look at him with so much love in your eyes made something in his mind click and suddenly, his thoughts have never been clearer.

his heart's never been happier.

he didn't just like you. you meant so much more to him, and he knew you needed to know.

"what i'm trying to say is: home is somewhere i feel happy in, where i feel comforted, where i feel loved. and if being with you makes me feel those things, then y/n you are my home. and i hope you feel the same way, because i love you."

changmin exhaled as if he was holding his breath the entire time. he looked at you expectantly, waiting for your answer.

you, on the other hand, was shocked. just plain shocked, and you didn't know what to do, how to react, or what to even say.

the guy who'd stolen your heart had just admitted that you've stolen his heart too, so how the fuck do you respond to that.

after you had stayed silent for 13, 14, 15 seconds (yes, changmin was counting), he lost all hope. sighing, he looked down at his hands. "i'm sorry for putting this all on you, i knew it was a stupid idea, i'm sorry-"

you cupped changmin's cheeks to stop him from talking. he looked up, meeting your glassy eyes. you slowly neared his face until you were inches apart, and whispered your reply.

"i love you too, dumbass."

you closed the distance, lips meeting his as you kissed him slowly, sweetly. he smiled into the kiss, holding you as if you could disappear between his fingers.

it was a very romantic moment that unfortunately didn't last very long, because shortly after a bird landed on changmin's head causing him to scream, you to scream, and the bird to go number 2 on his head.

but oh well, everything about your relationship was so out of the blue anyways, right?

out of the blue | jcm

[chapter 19]

previous | masterlist | next

summary: when you find out that one of the students you coach is the niece of the guy you accidentally punched in the face and pushed into a pool, you're not surprised that he's, well, disappointed at the outcome. however, you're determined to make amends with him for the sake of his niece... and maybe for the sake of his cute face too.

taglist: @s0ngk4ng @wooyoung-a @skiez @kittkyu @stealanity @sofie296 @ccobbiee @deputyjuyeon @enhacolor @simplewonderland @jaerisdiction @arepabella @snuhee @loonathewurld @loki-in-hogwarts @hidejeon @jakesahi @nyujjan @suzy-rainbow @w8nuzone @yeletbz @seungcheoluwu

can't tag: @yannew @deobib

(reply to this post or send an ask/message if u wanna be part of the taglist! :>)

a/n: I'M SO SORRY FOR THE LATE UPDATE i had to finish writing this piece but 🥲 last update on wednesday AAAA i hope you guys liked this chapter though, i didn't expect to go past 1k but i think i got carried away? 😃 it's not super edited too, so i'm really sorry if there are any mistakes!! please send me a message or tell me thru the ask box if there are hehe THANK UU <3

[swervestrickland]

Why do ppl hate cody?

i can't speak for everyone, but i can speak for myself.

under the cut bc it's a long one. i also toe the line of kayfabe and not kayfabe quite a bit but just know that i'm always open to changing my opinions on people. i am a fickle bitch.

a) the first time i ever encountered him in wrestling, he was a heel creating a civil war within the bullet club. first impression? cody bad.

b) the next time i saw him, he was in aew. i already knew he was an evp, i already knew he was part of the elite, or had been. evps = authority = i'm not a fan. the same way i dislike stephanie mcmahon or shane mcmahon. i dislike authority figures, especially if i feel that they will use their authority to either use up valuable tv time or put themselves in matches i do not feel they deserve to be in. i felt the same way when i thought the bucks were gonna win the first tag team tournament aew had in fall of 2019.

b part 2) unprotected chair shot

b part 3) pharaoh the dog brought to a show where they did pyro and was visibly upset by this

c) no matter what, for the first many months of dynamite, cody ALWAYS had a segment. and his entrance took up like three extra minutes than anyone else on the card. however, i will say that he did a great job of showcasing the young talent; many of the wrestlers who had matches against cody in the first two quarters are now some of aew's biggest young stars.

d) the bucks gave hangman shit for not showing up to help them in a few instances on television in those first couple episodes and didnt say shit about cody not being there -even though he did eventually show up to help once or twice. this could just be because they werent certain whether cody was going to continue to be in the actual elite. but regardless, it pissed me off.

e) during all of this, i do believe there was a moment on twitter where people thought they found his personal anonymous twitter and he was talkin some mad controversial shit that i cant honeslty remember anymore so you can feel free to ignore this one

f) genuinely tired of seeing him on tv and taking up time, especially when there were so many talented wrestlers they had on their roster that were on dark mainly that needed time on television

g) when malakai black showed up and cody got boo'd and then beaten, live in front of my eyes, it felt like the narrative was that he was so shocked and upset by the loss and the fans' reactions that he decided he was gonna retire right then and there. which is bullshit because you just made a new wrestler's win all about you. to me it felt like he was so emasculated by the loss that he was just gonna give up and that's dumb as hell. arn actually ended up taking up the same opinion as me which was cool as heck :)

h) after the promo on dynamite this week talking about how he will not turn, and then the rhodes to the top episode from tonight basically confirming this, that he doesnt want to turn heel, or at least faux-shooting that he doesnt want to become heel, i'm upset because it feels like he wants to ram down my throat that he is a babyface like his father before him and i do not and cannot accept this. you do not have to be the good guy to become a legend. most of the best babyfaces i've ever seen were heels first. because a heel has a whole lot more range!!!! it gives the wrestler so much more creatively to work with and being a dick is just fucking fun like??? who doesnt like seeing a wrestler have fun??? i guarantee you, you give cody a long ass heel run, that man becomes babyface in a couple years and we'll cheer him again. like tf. it's like roman. they tried to make roman the babyface guy for years and it just didnt work. turn him heel? bruh. he made my HUSband, who absolutely DESPISED him, into a roman fan. and if he turned face again?? he'd still love him. it is what it is, man. learn what works and what doesn't like. idk.

please note: there are also lots of things that i like about cody. i like that he is a great promo and a great wrestler. im never bored when he's on screen except that one feud with ogogo bc i just disliked the whole premise. and he always makes me cry when he cries and i do believe that's because of his great speaking ability. i saw him live in atlanta for the cage match against wardlow and i thought it was brilliant, really put wardlow over even though he lost i think, and the off-air speech he gave to his hometown was once again a tear jerker. i love to hate him, and i just wish that he would give me the chance to boo him like i want to.

but anyway this is just me and idk about everyone else. hope this makes even a crumb of sense.

[tiny-space-robot]

Okay so Fire Emblem anon here!! Here's a Kinda Super Long Bc I Got Carried Away description of a few Fire Emblem games, plus some characters that seem like they hit tropes you like!

The good news is that there's not a super huge overarching timeline, there's several smaller timelines that are seperate from one another except for the crossover games. I'm gonna go with describing the newer ones that you're most likely to be able to get your hands on and play; a lot of people complain that they lean into some anime-tropey stuff and are too easy, but tbh, that's a perk just as often as it isn't. Basically, it's Game of Thrones, but rated T and with more cute girls and old men who are friendly instead of creepy.

Tbh, it's a turn-based strategy game with visual novel elements for characterization, if strategy games aren't your thing and you're just interested in the characters, watching the support conversations on Youtube might be more your thing. All the characterization, none of the resetting the same goshdang level thirty times. Anyways, description of the games in passing, including a brief description of the plot concept, pros and cons, trigger warnings, and some characters you might be interested in if you're just looking up characters.

*line break for legibility*

Awakening: for the 3DS. Follows Robin, an amnesiac mage, after they're found in a field by a band of knights called the Shepherds. Involves the undead, a twink in a mask, timey-wimey shenangians, and the usual cast of oddballs you'd expect from a Fire Emblem game.

Pros of Awakening: customizable player character, intro of Casual mode (turns off permadeath) and the Pair Up system, which lets you put characters together for shipping reasons strategy and stat boosts. Also doubles as a shipping simulator, since you can pair off characters and meet their later in the game due to said timey-wimey shenangians.

Cons of Awakening: there are some....very concerning combos of names/skin tones/plot relevance for certain characters, so go in with a warning about implicit racism. Also if you like strategy games, this game is relatively easy to break and make "too easy," but tbh that's what Lunatic Mode (the Ultra Unfair Hard Mode) is for.

Trigger warnings across the main plot: underhanded politics, attempted assassinations, martyrdom, an optional character is implied to stalk Robin but idk how to tag that, identity crises, conflicts within a family, character who isn't you looks like you, backstory child abuse, an optional character is a bad portrayal of DID if you squint?

*line break for legibility*

Fates: is actually a group name for two games set in the same universe, and a DLC bonus story: Birthright, Conquest, and Revelations. All for the 3DS. All three games star Corrin, a pacifist raised in seclusion in the kingdom of Nohr. Each game reflects a different path Corrin can take in navigating the war between the nations of Nohr and Hoshido: Birthright has them stand with Hoshido, Conquest with Nohr, and Revelations has them strike out (nearly) alone. Each path has a completely different storyline, cast of characters, and difficulty curve.

Pros of Fates: honestly, the characters here cater the most to the avid pro-shipper and multi-shipper. I just love this cast. Both Nohr and Hoshido have four members of the royal family you can play and get to know, each of those royal family members has two retainers who are various levels of dedicated and/or unhinged, and the cast just widens and widens. Also a character customization and shipping simulator point for the same reasons Awakening gets it. Also, canon fujoshi rights (there's a character with a skill called Daydream, which boosts her stats when two male characters are paired up near her. one of us, one of us). Also the first game with canon queer characters: both Rhajat and Niles are bi.

Cons of Fates: unfortunately, the writing is kinda rushed or badly translated in some places. Also *shakes IntSys* my lore! Give me more lore! Also, iirc, you could get both physical games in a bundle for a discount when they came out, but not anymore, so it's sorta like Pokemon with version exclusives. Which is less fun, since you can't directly trade characters. Also the fandom for this game is RIFE with discourse, which is kinda sad bc I just wanna talk my ships with ppl sjxhdjdn

Trigger warnings for Fates: child abuse might as well be Nohr's middle name, in-universe racism (since Hoshido is p obviously Japan-inspired, and a lot of Nohrians are rancid to Hoshidans), kidnapping, on-screen murder, lots of fighting your loved ones (on both main routes, you gotta fight the playable characters from the other side AAA), su-c-de, death of sibling(s) in certain routes, demonic-like possession, there's like six characters people can read as bad mental illness rep, Niles especially is discourse bait for being a kinky (yes that's canon) bi man of color but also he's awesome so die mad antis

*break for space*

Shadows of Valentia: for the 3DS. A remake of Gaiden, the second game in the series. Follows Alm, a farm boy from a small village in Zofia, and Celica, his childhood best friend. Zofia and the nation to its north, Rigel, are two nations ruled by the dragon gods Mila and Duma, respectively. Normally, they're in equilibrium, but Rigel is invading and Mila is missing, prompting Alm and Celica to independently investigate the problem.

Pros of SoV: the most like the old-school Fire Emblem games, but it also has the permadeath-off mode. also the first to be fully voice acted! The art style is gorgeous, and the plot was polished up from the old game--two characters names Berkut and Rinea were added, and they are PEAK OTP the diskhorse can die mad. Also the cast is pretty fun all around, from buddy squad and the older brother/dad figure they adopted along the way to "hello this is my gang of childhood friends, we're gonna kill a god" Also introduces Mila's Turnwheel, which lets you rewind your moves if you realize you goofed big time and screwed yourself over.

Cons of SoV: has the most references to other games, but you won't, like, be lost if you don't get them. You just might have a few interludes of "who tf is Camus/the White Wing Brigade/etc" but it's easy enough to look up on the wiki. Also tbh, the plot kinda drags in the middle, there's some filler battles to try and make it feel more realistic and it feels...weird. Also no custom character, you are Alm and Celica and you will Like It.

Trigger warnings for SoV: you know that thing where a girl character gets killed off for a guy character to angst over? the game starts with a fakeout version of that. also a character slowly goes mad over the course of the plot (but it's really well done imo?), there's some self-sacrifice stuff in there, classism is a major theme, possession/selling your soul™, there's a couple of levels where you're exploring tombs/prisons, I'm sure there's something else but I'm forgetting right now

*line break for legibility*

Three Houses: on the Switch. The newest game in the series, and the most polished imo? Stars Byleth, a wandering mercenary turned teacher at the Officer's Academy. The Academy, housed in Garreg Mach Monastery, teaches youths from across the land of Fodlan how to be warriors, commanders, and knights. Students are sorted into three houses based on their country of origin: the Black Eagles are from ghe Adrestian Empire, led by the heiress-apparent Edelgard; the Blue Lions are from the kingdom of Faerghus, led by prince Dimitri; and the Golden Deer are from the Leicester Alliance, led by Claude, grandson of the Duke. You choose one of these houses to lead, and then everything quickly goes sour.

Pros of Three Houses: It's such a rich experience! The music is incredible, there's so much lore, and you can wander around the Monastery and hang out with the students to your heart's content. Also, it's four storylines for the price of one, even if they're all relatively similar in the first half. It does a pretty solid job of weaving together its themes into a satisfying narrative that will make you consider everyone involved. Also we got our first bi main lord (Edelgard) and non-white main lord (Claude is mixed race) in one fell swoop! Also, given the setting, it's teacher/student ship heaven.

Cons of Three Houses: just gonna come right out and say it: one of the villainous factions in the game is pretty substantially tied up with some anti-semitic tropes. There's no way to ignore it, it's just bleh, and I'm not gonna send anyone in without that warning. Also, though there's some characters you can persuade to switch sides, or spare, there's no route where there's a happy ending for everyone. Also there are so many people who are fake deep about the themes of the game, so be ready for the worst takes imaginable about your faves. also super trigger heavy, see below.

Trigger warnings: MANY. Garreg Mach and the Church of Seiros are very reminiscent of catholic religious stuff, for anyone with religion triggers, blood in cutscenes, death of a parent, death of a sibling (different characters), major gaslighting vibes in some places, lots of people going unhinged, some white savior™ vibes in places, body horror, creepy ass weaponry, backstory genoc-de (mostly not related to the anti-semitism), blood magic (definitely related to the anti-semitism), in general it goes to a lot more effort than the other games to make you think about what's Actually going on, even if it doesn't always work.

*break for legibility*

As for characters you'd like, if you just want to look some characters up, my recommendations based on what I understand about you include:

Awakening: Libra fits 'gnc man of the cloth' so well it's actually a conversation in game: "so what's a woman of the cloth doing here?" "...man, sir, man of the cloth." And Then He Never Gets Misgendered Again. Also Nowi's supports sometimes feel like a jab at antis-- she's a manakete, a person who can transform into a dragon. Manaketes also grow really slowly, as in "middle aged looking manaketes are like 1000 years old," so she's got major baby face and copes with being mistaken for a teenager by making jokes. Also Gregor, who she first appears with, is pretty fun--older mercenary with a thick accent who is like 80% here for a good time. Also Walhart, who's a villain but got some content added as DLC.

Fates: any interactions between Corrin, Leo, and/or Camilla are probably right up your alley--Camilla is obsessively protective over her siblings in a way that's Very Definitely Platonic™, and Leo also canonically has a crush on her in something that was cut in the English release. Also Gunther--once upon a time he was your classic knight in shining armor, now he's semi-retired, Corrin's personal guard, and covered in scars (and his voice is gorgeous too)

Echoes: my biased answer is to listen to every single line Ian Sinclair read for Berkut because he absolutely did NOT have to go that hard. My actual answer is to point you in the direction of the pegasus sisters Catria, Palla and Est, or maybe the older gentleman who's the head of the Priory, I forgot his name oops abbdbd. Also Clive is a devoted husband to one Mathilda, who looks just like an older version of his sister Clair 🤔

Three Houses: knowing you, you'd adore Hanneman--an older professor who's extremely passionate about his work, to the point where he tends to forget personal space and such. Also Seteth, like I mentioned before (join me in simping for him and his gorgeous pecs) and like, honestly, I know ppl make jokes about Alois but he's rlly good. Soft, awkward but he doesn't care, dad jokes everywhere. And also Mercedes, both because she's the biggest sweetheart imaginable and everyone should love her, but also bc she is just walking potential for the kinds of stuff you post on this blog. On one hand, she's the oldest student at the Academy and attached at the hip to one of the youngest, Annette (tho people act like they have a way bigger age gap then they actually do) and on the other hand, she has a long-lost half brother she can encounter (who I will not name for HUGE HUGE spoilers reasons) who she spends the rest of her life with in one of her endings. Heck, he has three possible endings total! Total!

Basically I brought the games up bc I'm used to being on the side of the fandom where everyone shoos anything uncomfortable under the rug, but there's so much material here that's being wasted I SWEAR

If you have any other questions I can send another anon? Your call! Thanks for hearing me out I love ur blog :3

OKAY!!! sorry for answering so late, but this ask was pretty much a BOOK (not that I´m complaining though! thank you so much! ;;u;;)

and from what I read here, I THINK if I´m going off on my first fire emblem adventure, I´ll try and pick up three houses if I get the chance! I have read your trigger warnings (thank you so much! ;u;) and I think I can take it! >:3

again though, I am really, really not a fan of anime and the anime artstyle in general (blergh! XP) so I´m not sure how I´ll cope with that in particular, but then again, an artstyle does not make a game! u3u

AND HANNEMAN SOUNDS LIKE A WINNER TO ME!! I looked him up and OOOF!!! he may not have NEARLY as many wrinkles as I´d like him to have, but the facial hair is definitely a step in the right direction! ;3c

NOW YOU GOT ME INTERESTED!! 

LETS GO!!!!!!!!!!!!! (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

[xxisxxisxxis]

Gateway Drug | Part Forty-One

Table of Content or Part Forty

Read here on wattpad.

Words: 3.2k

Warning(s): Explicit language, minor sexual situations, drug abuse, drug over dose

A/N: Had to cut this chapter in half because tumblr was being sketchy w the length of it for some reason. Anyway, second half will be up asap but I'm about to pass tf out. Also, this chapter was gonna have some smut but I put it in with the second half instead because the vibe didn't mesh well with it included in this one. Have a good night, update coming tomorrow/late tonight (Jan. 3). Goodnight!!

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I can't help but laugh a little as Nikki presses kisses up and down my neck, bottle of Jack in one hand, part of my ass in the other as our car takes the both of us through London.

Valentine's Day, 1986, started out as one of the best Valentine's Days we'd spent together.

Nikki's mood wasn't too good or too bad, it was a tolerant neutral, I suppose it's because we hadn't done much talking at all.

He'd woken me up with his tongue between my legs and it stayed that way until I had soaked the sheets and was practically begging him to give me a break because I couldn't take it anymore.

Then we proceeded to screw around, then got ready to leave to meet everyone at the Hammersmith Odeon where they were due to play that night.

"How much longer?" I ask him, pulling away from a tongue filled, lust fueled kiss, referring to the time left before we get where we're going.

"Like, ten minutes, maybe." He tells me.

My hand reaches between us, rubbing over the obvious bulge in his pants, before he reads my mind.

After our quicky, I'm pulling my panties back on while he's pulling his gear from his boot.

I just let out a breath.

"Nikki--"

"--I'm fucked on blow right now, Viv. I gotta get myself leveled out." He tells me.

I just nod a little, not bothering to argue.

Once we arrive, Fred's meeting us in the back to escort us inside as fans are already crowding around the front entrance.

Nikki's grabbing at my hand once we get out, as he and Fred start talking.

"And there's a surprise for you." Fred tells me as we walk in.

I furrow my brows before he's nodding to our left.

I see the massive, teased, blonde hair and flashy clothing and I'm leaving Nikki's side before I can help myself.

Mike's just as happy to see me and I am to see him, the both of us hugging each other tightly before pulling away to examine each other with wide smiles.

He looks incredible.

He's glowing.

He's gained back the weight he lost dramatically after Razzle died, and it's so obvious that he hasn't touched a drink or Drug in months.

He looks at peace.

"You look great." I tell him, looking him up and down.

"I feel great." He replies. "You look..." He starts, examining me similarly.

I look like I've been dragged through hell.

"Like shit." I finish for him and he rolls his eyes.

"Beautiful, Vivian. You've always been beautiful." He argues.

The shining of a silver band around his left ring finger catches my eye, despite multiple rings decorating his hands.

"Now, I've heard about this." I take his hand and look at the wedding band and he gets giddy. "But I have yet to even see her."

He's pulling his wallet out of his pocket and pulling a picture out, showing me a photo of a woman with dark hair, arched brows, who's no-bullshit demeanor is practically jumping out of the picture.

Jude Wilder had been working at CBS when she'd met Michael while working on Hanoi Rocks' project called "Two Steps From The Move."

She was nine years older than him, but that didn't surprise me. Michael's always been nine years ahead of everyone else in maturity, and they were perfect for each other.

They got married in 1985, and were inseparable.

When she died in 2001, after suffering an intracranial hemorrhage, Michael sunk into the excruciatingly low place he sunk to when Razzle died. But in true Mike Monroe fashion, he didn't allow himself to be down very long, threw the drugs out, and was remarried to a gorgeous, sweet, ball of light named Johanna by mid-2003.

"She's gorgeous, Michael." I tell him in admiration, although I know he's never necessarily been into looks as much as he's after a good personality and clear head.

"Thank you. She'll love to hear that." He chuckles, tucking the picture back into his wallet. "Have you seen the other guys here?" He asks me and I raise my brows.

He motions behind me and I see Andy, Sami, and Nasty, talking to Tommy and Nikki.

Nikki beckons for me and I go to them, trying not to be overly motherly upon seeing them, the three of us sharing the same exchange Michael and I did.

Tight hugs, and an invisible thankfulness that they're in a more positive headspace than the last time I saw them.

Well, except one.

Andy's still on heroin. It doesn't take me two seconds to pick up on it and I can tell it's gonna be a priority to keep him and Nikki separated after the show.

I don't need them fueling the fire under each other's spoons.

Sami and Nasty look better than the last time I saw them, which is amazing.

I'm surprised any of the guys want anything to do with us after the thick of their grieving.

"Are you staying for the show?" I ask Andy.

"Absolutely." Andy states, pointing at Nikki. "And I'm showing him around when it's all over."

A protective chord is struck in me, and I'm finding myself having to pull back on the reins before I offend Andy.

Nikki seems to agree, before I shit all over it.

"It's Valentine's Day." I cut in. "I was hoping we could hang out." I look to Nikki.

"You can come with us, babe." He suggests and I try to hide my true emotions about it, but Michael sees through it.

"Oh, c'mon, Nikki. It's Valentines Day." He interjects, picking up on my concern of Andy and Nikki out on the town, binging.

Nikki's pulling a handful of bills out of his pocket before handing it to Michael.

"You take her out, then." He tells him casually, and Michael looks at me, caught off guard, able tell this isn't the first time Nikki's acted like this towards me and it's as if he's saying, "he's like this now?"

"Guys, c'mon, you gotta get dressed." Doc pulls at Nikki and Tommy.

The show goes smoothly, despite a few hiccups and—as predicted—Andy and Nikki are thick as thieves.

I help Nikki get his white and black polka dotted suit off, before he's pulling on his tshirt and jeans, pulling his boots on.

Before I head for the door when he's dressed, he's grasping at my hand and stopping me.

"What is it?" I ask, raising my brows.

"C'mere." He tugs me to him and I chuckle a little. 

"What is it?" I repeat, grinning, and he leans down and presses his lips to mine, sweetly.

"I really wish you would come with me tonight." He tucks some of my hair behind my ear and I shake my head a little.

"Nah, I'll just hangout with Mike."

"No, I wanna hangout with you." He argues lightly.

"You and Andy are gonna be doing things I'm not into." I point out.

"Like what?" He asks.

"You know what." I reply.

"Alright, how about you and Mike come with us so you aren't by yourself?"

"How about you just don't touch heroin?" I suggest and his smile falters, his jaw rolling. I don't even let him say anything else.

I kiss him one last time before trying to sweep whatever argument is brewing, under the rug.

"I'll see you when you get back tonight, Nikki, okay?" I ask and he sighs out.

"Whatever, Viv." He mumbles as I step out.

I find Mike and Tommy telling Nasty and Sami "goodbye", and I step to them, glancing around for Vince, who isn't anywhere to be seen.

It's obvious he's keeping his distance.

"Leaving already?" I ask the two dark haired boys.

"Got to get back home for a bit. We'll see you around, eventually." Nasty tells me, grinning as he squeezes my hand assuringly.

"I'll be meeting Mike back in the states in about a month." Sami adds. "We'll he sure to stop by."

"Okay." I nod, smiling at the both of them. "Be careful, I'll see you later." I them.

"See you, man." Mike tells the two of them, hugging the both of them.

"Big plans tonight, Viv?" Tommy nudges me and I point my thumb in Mike's direction. "What about Nikki?"

"He's married to Andy's dealer tonight." I reply and Mike raises his brows, not saying a word, and Tommy seems like he doesn't quite know how to respond.

"We're outta here!" Andy exclaims, he and Nikki stepping to the exit with Fred escorting them out to their car.

"He's really not spending tonight with you?" Tommy asks me, disappointed, and I raise my brows.

"Are you surprised?"

"..." He says everything with a single look and I nod.

"Exactly." I scoff, going to the dressing room to grab my purse.

Once I get back, Fred is waiting for Mike and I.

"Press talks." Fred warns us right before we step outside.

The paps aren't horrid here like in America, but there's enough here to spin a narrative if they choose.

"So does bullshit." I reply as he opens the car door and I slide in with Mike following me.

"Be careful, guys. I'll see you later, Viv." Fred tells me and I nod before he shuts the door.

Michael looks at me with a smile.

"What now?" He asks me and I shake my head a little.

"Food." I tell him. "And a lot of it."

Although I would have loved to spend the day of love with my husband, spending it with Michael Monroe while stuffing my face with London's very best take-out, was nice.

But there was someone who upstaged Nikki, aside from Mike.

I step into the hotel after dinner with Michael and his wife, carrying my heels in my hands because my feet are killing me, ready to go to sleep.

"Mrs. Sixx, there was a delivery made to your room by your management earlier." The woman at the front desk tells me as I walk by to the elevator.

"Alright, thank you." I reply.

When I get to my room, I unlock the door and I'm met with a large bouquet of classic red roses.

I furrow my brows, knowing they can't be from Nikki, but already know who they can be from when I see two little plastic water guns tucked into the flowers, a bottle of Pepsi and a bag of gummy worms beside them.

I pick up the card and nearly start crying.

"We miss you! Happy V-Day, V!

Love, more than Jack and Marlboro (or Pepsi and gummy worms), Tansy, Steven, Axl, Izzy, Slash, and Duff."

It's etched in Doc's handwriting, and I chuckle at the thought of Doc on the phone with Tansy while she dictates what he writes on a card for flowers she probably begged him to get me before the show ended tonight.

I keep myself from crying, a strong sense of homesickness washing over me.

I pick up the phone, trying to calculate the time difference.

It's 2:00am here, which means it's only 6:00pm in L.A.

I'm dialing their apartment—damning the overseas charge that I know will be billed to us—knowing they're probably getting ready to go out or head to a club for a gig.

"Yo." I hear Steven's voice on the other line.

"Hey, Steven, it's Viv."

"Viv?" He asks excitedly. "Aye, Viv's on the phone!" I hear him say, hearing indistinguishable sentences in the back ground.

"Yeah, I just called to let you guys know I just got back to my room and saw the flowers." I explain, fumbling with the phone chord, sitting down on the bed.

"Do you like 'em?" He asks me and I nod to myself.

"Yes, they're beautiful." I reply.

"Well, Tansy mentioned getting you something for Valentine's Day and she and Duff called the guys' manager and told him some stuff you'd like." He informs me.

"I-Is Duff there?" I ask.

"Uhh, yeah, gimme a second." He tells me. "Duff! Man, it's Viv!" He calls into the apartment. "He's comin', baby." He assures me. "Alright, here he is."

"Bye, I love you." I tell him.

"I love you, too." He replies as I hear the phone being handed off.

"Hello?" Duff answers and I rub my lips together.

"Hey, I know you're probably busy so I wasn't gonna keep you long, I just wanted to say 'thank you' for the flowers and the junkfood I really shouldn't be eating but I'm going to eat anyway." I state and he chuckles.

"I'm just waiting on the guys, and I thought about Coke and potatoe chips but I knew that would be kinda mean so I played it safe." He informs me.

"You don't have a mean bone in your body, Duff." I point out. "Oh, guess who I ate dinner with tonight?"

"Nikki?" He asks and I scoff.

"That's an entire conversation on it's own." I reply. "Michael Monroe and his lovely wife, Jude, took me out to dinner."

"You can't just say it that casually, Viv." He tells me. "You gotta cry tears of joy or something, holy shit."

"Well, I suggest you learn how to keep your cool because him and Sami Yaffa will be visiting L.A. soon and I will be introducing you and the guys, if you're interested."

"Shut up." He says it in disbelief and I smile.

"Guns N' Roses came up during dinner and I may or may not have bragged about one W.Axl Rose, Steven Adler, Izzy Stradlin, Slash Hudson, and Duff McKagan and piqued his interest."

"Shut up!" He says it louder. "Viv, I know it's not a big deal to you because he's one of your friends but...holy shit, Sixx, you didn't have to do that."

"I did, Duff. You guys deserve it." I argue. "You deserve it."

"I fucking love you." He tells me, genuinely. "And I'm not just saying that because you did something nice, like, I can't say 'thank you' enough or tell you how much I love you for being just as enthusiastic as we are and believing in us as much as you have for the past year."

"You guys are great people, Duff. And God's given the five of you incredible musical gifts. It's against my religion not to help expose those gifts to the rest of the world and I know you guys can do it, as much as you guys know you can."

"Thank you, Viv." He tells me again. "And where's Nikki at?" He asks me and I close my eyes for a second, not wanting to say something that will put a damper on his mood.

"He wasn't feeling well so he came back to the hotel while the three of us went to dinner. But he's feeling better now and he's in the shower so we'll spend some time together when he's out." I lie.

"Okay, good. The guys are about ready to go, now, so I'm gonna let you go." He tells me.

"Alright, have fun." I reply, trying to force back tears. "And tell the guys I said 'hey' and that I miss them." I add.

"I will, Viv. Goodnight. I love you." He states, and a tear topples over my lashline, pretending, just for a moment, I'm hearing those words from Nikki.

A sad, broken smile cracks at my lips.

"I love you, too, Duff." I reply. "Goodnight."

I hang up, stepping to the bathroom to take off my makeup and get a shower.

By the time I get out of the shower, I'm so tired my mind practically shuts down the second my head hits the pillow. 

Typically I wouldn't be able to sleep due to being alone, however, I'm not technically alone. 

A loud, startling bang rattles at my door, and I jerk awake, confused for a moment. I glance at the clock, seeing it's only 3:30am, and I roll my eyes, knowing it's Nikki and he probably left his key somewhere.

Without even looking in the peep-hole, I open the door to see a frantic, panicking Andy.

Before this continues, I need to clarify that I understand it isn't anyone else's fault that Nikki did drugs. He had his struggles and demons all without anyone offering him anything to shoot up, snort, swallow down, or drink. He could have easily said "no" to these things, but for some reason just couldn't.

But back then, I knew people knew he couldn't help himself. So no one who could have been considered an enabler was off limits. And Andy was an enabler.

All it takes is for him to say the words "Nikki's in bad trouble" and my face twists, tears toppling from my eyes, an entire wave of emotions rocking through my body, before I'm throwing both of my fists at him.

"Vivian!" He's screaming repeatedly as I'm yelling out nonsense at him, sobbing, weakly hitting him.

Once I've gotten calmed down in a couple minutes, Andy's grabbing at my shoulders, his cheek bleeding from my ring cutting him.

"Get your head clear." He practically has to pull me together for myself.

I'm running down the street from the hotel as fast as my bare feet can take me, Andy leading me to the run-down apartment he and Nikki were hanging out at. 

I walk into to this rat holding a baseball bat of Nikki, about to hit him.

"What the fuck are you doing?!" Andy barks at him as I snatch the bat from his hands.

I'm about to hit him with it instead, but Andy's grabbing at me. "Viv, keep your head clear." He tells me again, pulling the bat from my hands and I glare into the sunken in eyes of the stranger, silently promising he'll get his when I get my blue husband awake.

I'm overwhelmed and feel defeated at the sight of him.

Blue, soaking wet from being wet down in an attempt to be woken up, and the deterioration of his body from his use is even more evident in his current state. 

Andy is screaming at the guy for hitting him with a bat instead of continuing to give him mouth to mouth and pumping his chest like Andy had been doing before he came and got me. 

I start CPR, trying to keep my shit together, but I obviously fail.

My stomach cramps like shards of glass are scraping at me. Except it's not my stomach, it's my uterus. 

"Andy." I cry out, keeping my hands on Nikki's chest, but the Finnish rockstar keeps yelling back and forth with the dealer. "Andy." I repeat, louder, but he still doesn't hear me. "Andy!" I'm pleading in a holler, catching his attention. "I-I can't do this, I'm sick, just call an ambulance!" I beg and Andy heads to the phone hanging on the wall. 

"No!" The living dead-rat argues roughly, fear in his pinned eyes as he practically snatches the phone off the wall, refusing to hand it to Andy.

"My husband is dying if not already dead! He needs help!" I argue, sweat beginning to perspire thinly on my skin, my own pain intensifies, my vision starting to blur slightly as I feel hot liquid rush from between my bare legs, and I'm blacking out along with Nikki. 

[catbatart]

Hey!! I love your art so much, and it's a nice inspiration for my own art!! I wanted to ask how you got your online presence?? I want to make my own art blog, but I'm not sure how? Or really, how to get the art noticed more. I thought I'd ask since I love your stuff so much! 💚💚💚

Thank you so much!  OKAY! I’m gonna throw a few vague bullet points that I’ve found helpful here and then I shall attempt a VERY brief summary in more detail below the cut. -Memorable username. You want people to be able to find you without your name always being right in front of them. This is optional but helpful. -Post a lot. I gain my most steady stream of followers when I’m posting random sketches but I’m posting them frequently versus posting a few nice pieces sporadically. -Get involved in communities. Use tags. MMOs, D&D, fandoms, whatever you love that other people love! Using the tags to get your art of the things you love out to other people who love it? A+ -Participate in challenges! Inktober! Sketch Dailies! Mermay! Whatever tf monster smut I did in March. A SERIES that gets you posting consistently for a bit that people can follow and look forward to! (Also helpful with tags!) -Giveaways. I love doing giveaways. I love sending people things and people love getting things for free. They’re a great way to promote reblogs over likes and get your work out to more eyes. Plus, like I said, I love sending people stuff?? So it’s a weirdly symbiotic relationship! Those would be my main tips but if you want more of a breakdown, I’ve done a bit of a write-up below for my sordid, dark artist backstory.

NOTE: FOR WHATEVER REASON TUMBLR DOES NOT SEEM TO BE REGISTERING MY “READ BELOW THE CUT” SO JUST PRETEND LIKE THERE IS ONE HERE AND FORGIVE THE ETERNALLY LONG POST

I started my art tumblr back in...2011??? I think? 2012 maybe? To have a place to post some art projects I was doing back for my 2D animation class (I believe all evidence has been eradicated so don’t bother looking lol!) My username was “CatbatCD” at the time. CD stood for “Character Design” because that was the class I was taking. I ended up cultivating a few followers. <100 I think? And I got the very occasional commission. After college, most of what I posted was TTRPG stuff. This was before D&D 5e got REALLY big, so I was posting a LOT of D&D  and Dark Heresy doodles and most people did not care that much. (For those of you who were watching me back when I drew a lot of Eden and Dark Heresy stuff, you the real MVPs.) At this point I had around 400-500 followers would be my guess! 

But I started accumulating more once I started playing MMOs and doodling stuff with those games as a tag! No joke, when I started playing Wildstar (RIP) and started posting work, it generated a lot of engagement from people and I definitely started accumulating more followers (more mutuals, specifically!) It was the perfect combo of original content and pre-established universe that people were familiar with! It was also when I started being more serious about taking commissions.

Now this is the point where my Pro Strat doesn’t exactly get repeatable. Halloween of 2015. I had been following along with the Sketch Dailies prompts on twitter (I don’t even know if they’re active anymore.) And right around Halloween the prompt was “Pumpkin King.” I did a little 20 minute doodle of Jack Skellington and threw it on my tumblr and didn’t think of it.

Well, guess what fuckin 20 minute doodle got featured on the tumblr radar? 

In one night, I randomly gained 500 followers. It was BONKERS. ESPECIALLY since it was a piece I put next to no effort in. I still have mixed feelings about that, but I have about 1000 followers and at this point it’s been about 3-4 years. Now this is where it kinda gets down to a more tedious grind. After this point, I don’t have any follower-gaining miracles except do lots of art! Take commissions! Post commissions! Do art challenges!  In your specific circumstance, you have to just start your blog. You can’t start it thinking “I’m gonna get 1000 followers in the first year.” You simply CAN’T approach it like that. Cultivating followers for an art blog takes a lot of time. And honestly for me, I didn’t really approach it with followers in mind when I first made my blog. It was literally just somewhere I was slapping art projects up for my prof to view remotely.  You just got to go with it. Make your blog, post art you make, be kind, find communities you love, and you will develop a community of your own. <3 I hope that was even a tiny bit helpful, or at the very least somewhat insightful. 

[thokage-archive]

+ because i still find it offensive and maybe it's really "not that deep" but calling someone something rude shouldn't be excused just because you don't know who they are ?? that's what i feel, personally... i hope you'll take the time to reply and i know it must be a bother but i believe in second chances and i feel like if you're willing to correct yourself/apologize it'd be great??? if you don't then...i guess i'm just sorry? that you don't know how to respect others?? thank you for reading!!

3/3

I just.... really don’t understand how yall cannot grasp the concept of a meme... its a literally just been turned into a meme at this point. Thot is not offensive.... it started as an offensive term in aave as a synonym for slut or hoe. But like most things in the world in this day in age, just like hoe, its meaning has evolved & is primarily viewed as a joke or meme now. I genuinely don’t know anyone who uses it offensively ever, most people use it as a synonym for extra now, which is 100% how I used it. He seems extra... that’s all I got out of my fake “research” (pls don’t even come for me and tell me calling someone “extra” is offensive now too because I’ll just fuckin chuck myself off the nearest building). & yes!!! please call me a thot! why? because its a joke!! i call my sister a thot like 12 times a day! Hell, I’ve called my mom a thot to her face & she just laughs because she knows it ain't that deep! I tag half the characters I love with thot! Anyways, thot, is not a fucking slur folks!!!

Regardless of the term being offensive or not can we just take a moment to recognize the fact that being a thot or slut is not a bad thing..... like that's not bad, nor would I ever think less of someone who was labeled a slut. I think people should genuinely be able to do whatever the fuck they want & if he wants to dance around shirtless on stage then he can. That doesn’t make him a bad or immoral person in my eyes, nor does it say anything about his character, talent, work-ethic, brains, etc. Besides, lots of people have reclaimed the term slut. And, as I already said, thot isn’t even viewed as synonymous with slut anymore, it's a fucking meme at its very core.

I really do understand the point they are trying to make but also like are people really not allowed to think someones attractive & leave it there? Like do I really really need to know everything about his whole ass life & backstory for me to be allowed to comment on him being attractive? Or does it need to be interlaced with a “he's so smart & talented & great wow” every time I say he's hot? I mean like he was dancing, shirtless, on a stage. Clearly for attention, which I’ve been told he likes.... so what is the problem? I can’t say he’s hot and move on with my day? I’m not gonna fucking fantasize abt him for the next 12 hrs or some shit.... he probably won’t even show up on my dash ever again. I meant it when I said it's not that deep because it isn’t. It's not like I influence the kpop fandom in any capacity. 

Yeah, men deserve the same respect as women when it comes to sexualizing them and objectifying them, but it's not like I took the performance out of context. He was dancing, shirtless…. on a stage, trying to be sexy…. how am i demon for perceiving it the exact way it was presented?? That’s like me watching Beyonce perform on stage at the mtv music awards or something & she does a sexy routine & i say “wow that was hot” & somehow I’m fucking awful for it? If something is done with the intention of being hot or sexy, how are you gonna get mad at people for viewing it as hot or sexy? Was the entire performance not a fucking thirst trap? Like... was I supposed to watch it and think of puppies & rainbows or something because I’m so confused?

okay…. that's all I'm going to bed bc I'm having surgery on my fucking mouth tomorrow & would love to go tf to sleep & blacklist kpop bc the fandom is apparently even messier than the bnha & voltron fandoms combined