#i don’t like calling him crofty because like… i don’t know you like that

[formulapisces]

i cant believe i just agreed with martin and crofty on something

[alocon]

A Soulmate Who Wasn't Meant To Be [2] - Max Verstappen

written by alocon

Note: Name and Part One based on the song A Soulmate Who Wasn't Meant To Be by Jess Benko

Summary: After the release of your first song, released the day before the Abu Dhabi Grand Prix weekend, there is some obvious tension in the garage as you and your ex boyfriend have one final fight for the championship.

Warning: Angst? I guess. Use of Y/N (sorry, I don't like using it but there were a couple of times that I had to bc I didn't have any alternatives), some social media at the end.

[The Masterlist] [Previous Part Here] [Next Part Here]

A Soulmate Who Wasn't Meant To Be [Part Two] - MV¹

2024 Abu Dhabi Grand Prix

Thursday - Media Day

"Lovely to see you all," Crofty said, looking around the group of drivers in the press conference. On the couch was Max, Lando, Charles, Lewis and You. "Firstly, Y/N, all of us over at Sky Sports are loving the new song, it’s been the talk of the paddock all morning too. Lots of us want to know, who is it about?”

You chuckled, knowing that you’d be asked at some point. You hadn’t expected it to be so soon. “Firstly, thank you. I’m glad that so many people have been liking it. Lew and I have literally been working on it since like the start of the year. I’m so thankful that he agreed to do the guitar for me because I wouldn’t have been able to do this without him. As for who it’s about.” You paused, looking quickly at Max, who’s eyes were already on you. You looked at him for a moment before turning your attention back to Crofty, making sure to look at glance at the drivers as you did. “It’s about one of my ex’s. I won’t say which one.”

“And the name. How did you come up with the song name? How are you feeling about this weekend, by the way?”

“It was something that he said to explain why we broke up. I like to think that everything happens for a reason, you know? And sometimes, things aren’t meant to be. And that’s just life. I’m just glad that people like it. I’m so excited for this weekend. As you all know, it’s been hard working towards this weekend, and I’m looking forward to giving Max a hell of a hard time.”

He chuckled, looking at you. Your eyes went straight to him, sending him a competitive grin. “Hope you’re looking forward to P2 in the drivers, buttercup.” Him hitting you with the teasing childhood nickname was a surprise. He started calling you that when you were both 14 because he slipped a buttercup into your hand and it scared the life out of you. So since then, he has never let you live it down. You didn’t even hesitate in your response to him.

“I hope you’re looking forward to seeing me on the top step of the podium, Princess Max.” The glare he shot you was almost instantaneous as Charles started laughing, obviously having understood the reference. 

“Right, just for that, I'm taking you out of the race on turn one.” You recognised that teasing tone in his voice, feeling your stomach flutter a little at that beautiful, happy tone that you had missed being directed at you. But you shook it off. ‘He wasn't meant to be, remember?’ you told yourself as the conference continued.

The moment you got out of the press conference, the atmosphere changed. Max walked straight past you, not even daring to look at you. You and Max still rarely talked. Since the start of 2024 you had become more civil, but you were nowhere near friends. 

Max slumped down onto the seat in his driver's room. He ran his hand through his hair, sighing. Fuck. He heard the door open and shut and, moments later, felt a presence on the space beside him on the couch. “Go on, then. What’s up?”

He raised his head to the man, looking at the seriousness all across his face. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“Max. I was your teammate for like 2 years. I saw the way you loved her and I saw the mess after you broke up. I also just watched that press conference. Start speaking.” Daniel was persistent, to be fair to him. But he also had a point. Over the years, Daniel had heard a lot about how he felt but he never talked about you to him.

“I regret it. Basically every day. It’s not left my mind since I listened to her song.”

“Still? Max, it’s been 6 years since you broke up with her. Also, YOU broke up with HER. Why would you do that if you didn’t want to?”

Max sighed, the memories of his prior conversation coming back to him.

[November 2018]

“You need to break up with her.” The seven words he had always dreaded hearing. Never in a million years would he ever consider breaking up with you. You were his muse, his soulmate. You were the person he wanted to marry, the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. It was funny, the words that left the man in front of him’s mouth. He knew he had a long shot of ever getting him to do that.

“Give me one good reason why I should.”

“She’ll just distract you, Max!” Jos’ voice was already doing Max’s head in and he had only said 12 words so far. ‘What happened to hello, how are you?’ He thought, rolling his eyes at the poor excuse that he spilled.

“As if she had ever distracted me before. Seriously, dad. We have been karting and racing together for years, for our entire relationship, and nothing will change now that we are in the same team.”

And that’s how it became an argument. The pair were shouting at each other. And then the bomb dropped. Jos handed Max a photo, making a comment about how he wouldn’t want it to be leaked. Max looked at the photo, his stomach instantly turning with disgust as he realised the photo that his father had managed to get ahold of and was now using it to threaten him, attempting to get him to break up with you, his person, because he wasn’t a fan of you. Jos never had liked you. Whilst being with you, you had helped Max realise that Jos was not a good person by any means, and Jos didn’t like that. As if on queue, your head poked around the door, quickly apologising when you realised that Jos was there. Jos smiled at you, before speaking. “No problem, I was just leaving. Think about what I said, Max.”

—

“What a dick,” Daniel declared, having taken a few moments to process what Max had just explained.

“Daniel, I miss her so much.”

“I know, mate. I know.” Daniel paused his speaking for a minute, attempting to come up with some kind of recommendation. He was fully aware that Max couldn’t express how he felt in person, so he came up with an idea. “Maybe write her a letter. She likes displays of affection like that.”

Race Day.

Crossing the line was the happiest you had been in a while. The race was excellent. For most of the race, Max and you had been fighting for P1 until he barely managed to get out of your DRS range. He ended up being a good few seconds ahead with 10 laps remaining. You didn't let that get to you, though, opting to keep pushing to the very last lap. And you did, getting closer and closer. However, you would've been perfectly happy if Max won. You both put up a brilliant fight and the drive against him was superb. But then you saw your golden opportunity. You overtook him, riskily but safely and fairly, regaining the lead of the race. Final lap. You heard the radio sound, being disappointed when Christian could be heard through it. “Give Max back the position, please.”

“Why should I?” You were pissed. Once again, they were attempting to strip you of everything you had worked hard for, everything that you wanted and dreamed of. Everything that you and Max talked about when you were kids. One day, he would say, one day we'll both be world champions, driving for Red Bull together and happily in love. Well, that last part didn't happen but you weren't about to give up on that.

“Max has worked so hard for this.”

“Fuck off, Christian, so have I.”

He said your name with venom, chuckling as he spoke. “We have a meeting to sign your contract extension tomorrow, remember. You've got to respect what your boss says if you want to keep driving.”

You scoffed as you crossed the finish line. No congratulations from Christian, a congratulations from your amazing race engineer, of course, but he was quickly shushed by Christian. You knew at least Crofty and Martin would be cheering in that commentary box, likely would be referring to it as the most interesting race since Abu Dhabi 2021 or Bahrain 2022.

Getting out of the car, you saw the red bull team. But they weren't cheering for you, they were cheering for Max. You hugged your engineer, excitedly celebrating your first world championship. The one you had worked so hard for day in and day out. You then rushed to hug a bunch of the drivers who were there, starting with Fernando who finished P3 in the race, as well as the championship. Then you went to them all, starting with Lewis, then Charles and Carlos, then Yuki, then Logan and so on. And then you saw Max. He walked to you, giving you a congratulatory hug. You hugged back, your arms going around his waist. You felt his hands move around your shoulders to your neck, confusion filling you as you pulled away from the hug, noticing the Dutch flag wrapped around your shoulders. “If I won, I was going to wear it to the podium. But this time, it's your turn. Congratulations.”

The post race interview started with Fernando, then only Max. When he was asked about how he felt about losing to you, he, too, referenced your childhood. “On the 14th of February 2012, she asked me what my dream was. I told her that it was for us to both make it to F1. For us to both be world champions, driving in the same team. Together. And a couple other things. Whilst we didn't get those other things, I'm happy that we have finally achieved most of our dreams.” It then went onto you. 

Jenson asked about the race, congratulated you, the normal stuff. He then brought up the request from Horner about letting Max win. He smiled softly, signalling for you to speak as much as you wanted. “To be quite honest, Jens, I think it was a stupid team order. For them to assume that I would willingly give up a championship to give it to someone else is insane. I’ve been listening to his orders for years, letting Max through most of the time I was asked. However, when I don't, all I would receive is a lecture. ‘You should’ve listened to us’ he would say. ‘You didn’t deserve that win, you are lucky you are even driving for us, don’t push your luck.’” Your eyes scanned the crowd as you spoke. Disgust about Christian’s actions was over all the driver’s faces. Including Max, who was clearly surprised. Christian, on the other hand, looked as white as a ghost. You continued speaking.

“However, I am not, by any means, upset with Max. I know that none of this was his fault. It was Christian’s,” you said, pausing to take a breath before saying the next thing. This whole year had built up to this moment. “Which is why I am incredibly happy to announce that the contract renewal meeting will not be necessary, because I will be driving for Mercedes AMG Petronas Formula One Team in the 2025 season.” You glanced over to Lewis who had grinned at you, winking, having already known the news. You took this opportunity to lightly tease him about his inability to say the team name. “See, Lew? It’s not that difficult to remember the name.”

“So… Mercedes, huh?”

“Yes, Max. Mercedes. You won’t miss me too much when I’m gone, no?”

He chuckled, sitting on your couch as you packed your stuff up. “Maybe I will, maybe I won’t. Are you going to the Red Bull Team Party later?”

“I wasn’t invited. Never have been.”

“Really?” He watched you nod. “Well, come anyway. Be my plus one, show them who’s the boss.” He stood up, stepping closer to you. “I’m sorry they favoured me. I never rewatched the races so I never saw the radio. I truly am sorry.”

“Max, it wasn’t your fault. I’ll think about your offer, I need to go.”

“Wait.” He reached in his pocket, pulling out some paper. “Read that when you get to the hotel, please.”

—

Y/N,

You’ll have to bear with me, I will try my best not to waffle too much. I struggle to express how I feel through words, so Daniel suggested a letter.

When I think back to 2018, I realised that I never gave you a proper explanation on why I broke up with you. It was not a choice which I wanted to make. If given the choice, I would’ve chose the opposite, however, given the situation, the choice was obvious.

My father threatened me with a photo. I know what you’re thinking. “Why would a photo give you a reason to break up with me?” Jos managed to get a hold of an inappropriate photo of you, one which he threatened to release if I stayed with you. Believe me, if the opportunity was there, we would still be dating now. However, I couldn’t do this to you. I couldn’t let your reputation in the F1 community get destroyed because I decided to be selfish and stay with you. I hope I can be forgiven for this. I loved your song. It might’ve been the most beautiful thing I have ever heard.

I know that our break up was irreparable. I handled it way worse than I should have. However, I again have reason for this. I feared that, if I wasn’t harsh, you would’ve been determined to keep us working. And I have a soft spot for you, I always have done. I would do anything for you in a heartbeat.

I know I never said it when we were together, and I know that I should have, but I love you more than I have ever loved anyone before. I have since the day we met to the current day. I’m planning to give this letter to you the day of the Abu Dhabi Grand Prix, after the race, but it was written before. I hope you know that, no matter what, even if you win the championship, nothing will ever stop me feeling devoted to you. You are my life, my soul, my person. I will love you until the day I take my last breath.

I know we may never be able to repair what we had, but maybe we could just be friends? If so, my number is *** *** *** ***, please message me, schat.

Forever yours,

Maxie xx

-

You messaged him. Of course you did. Deep down, you missed him. He was your person. You were happy he at least wanted to be friends. Sure, he absolutely was a soulmate who wasn't meant to be, but maybe you could at least talk a little more now.

youruser

📍 Yas Marina Circuit, Abu Dhabi

liked by maxverstappen1 and others

youruser: and with that, the 2024 season comes to an end. It's been a pleasure, glad to finally have a Championship under my belt x

tagged: maxverstappen1, fernandoalo_oficial, georgerussell63

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maxverstappen1: Been a pleasure driving with you. Can't wait to have you as proper competition next year x

youruser: It's been a great 6 years, Max. x

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youruser

liked by georgerussell63 and others

youruser: My time at Red Bull Racing has come to an end. This decision was not one I took lightly, however, it took little to no consideration to make this decision. The treatment that I received from Red Bull Racing over the years and, more specifically, Christian Horner, has been one I would not wish upon any driver. That being said, Max, you have been a wonderful teammate. Can't wait to beat you again next year, just in a Mercedes this time. Goodbye Oracle Red Bull Racing, hello Mercedes AMG Petronas Formula One Team. (P.s. Christian, I am bringing my race engineer with me xoxo)

tagged: georgerussell63, maxverstappen1, mercedesamgf1

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georgerussell63: Can't wait to be your teammate!!

youruser: so hyped!!

maxverstappen1: Humble yourself, I'll be back to winning the wdc next year

youruser: lmaoooo you wish

mercedesamgf1: What's 4+4??

youruser: ATEEEE

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f1

liked by youruser and others

f1: bet you didn't expect this abu dhabi plot twist!! Our World Champ moves to Mercedes for 2025!!

-comments off-

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maxverstappen1 posted an instagram story!

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twitter

-The End-

-Word Count: 2,483 (not incl. social media comments)-

Hi All, I got asked to write a part two so here we go x Sorry if this was bad, it's unedited and it's also currently 1.40am for me. Goodnight everyone, have a good day! Alocon

[fairie-grl]

inspired by @onadarklingplain 's 'Albon Pet Primer'

Sir Lewis Hamiltion has a dog, his dog is the goodest boy in the world, and I know too much about his dog so now you must suffer with this knowledge as well enjoy:

Lewis adopted Roscoe, a English bulldog, from an online adoption agency in 2013.Roscoe is a purebred bulldog with both his mom and dad being show dogs. Roscoe's name was chosen because Lewis thought it but Crofty calling Nico ‘Roscoe’ at the 2016 Chinese Grand Prix makes me have my doubts. Lewis later adopted Coco, a female bulldog. Coco’s breeder was originally going to put her down due to how expensive her health conditions, mostly likely a heart condition, were but Lewis stepped in. If you are trying to tell Coco and Roscoe apart in photos, Coco has a wider white stripe on her head. It is widest around the top of her head. Roscoe has more wrinkles and a brown spot on his snout and his strip ends at the top of his head and a new one starts off center in the back of his head. Coco’s fang teeth are also out more often compared to Roscoe's little teeth and she is a lighter color than Roscoe. Lewis expressed that he adopted the dog because his family has always had dogs, mostly labradors, but he said he always wanted an English bulldog. Coco lived till June 2020 when she passed in the night. Lewis and Roscoe were with her. His mom has five dogs! Both Roscoe and Coco have passports so they can travel with Lewis. Lewis was also granted special permission from Bernie Ecclestone to bring the dogs to the padlock (I assume Charles will ask Domenicali to bring Leo to the Padlock). 

Lewis brought a jet to fly with the dogs which he then sold in 2019. Roscoe is good with traveling due to his love of napping. In his first trip with Lewis he slept through most of the flight waking up to go to the bathroom and to make Lewis put him in his lap. Lewis followed Roscoe's command, sleeping with Roscoe in his lap like “a baby.” Lewis said, “Roscoe is the best travel pet, he just sleeps with you.” As Roscoe is getting older, Lewis has made the decision to travel less with him, as the time zones were getting hard on him. While Lewis is racing, Roscoe stays in Los Angeles, California with dog trainer Kirstin McMillan (adventuresindogtraining on instagram). Lewis says he gets pictures of Roscoe everyday and checks in on him. Roscoe also attends a dog park or “Los Angeles' first canine social club” as stated on their website called ‘Dog PPL’ in Santa Monica. It is about $120 a month for one dog.  

Not only is Roscoe Lewis’s son but also his best friend. Lewis talked about his instant connection when they first met. Roscoe gets sad when Lewis leaves and happy when he returns. Lewis says, “Then I get the Frisbee and play with him, and that’s, for me, the biggest highlight – the unconditional love you get from a pet like that.” Roscoe loves quad bikes. In one interview, Lewis said it’s because he’s lazy so he likes being driven around. However, I think it’s because he has taken after his dad and wants to race. Roscoe also loves frisbee and his ball; it seems like he enjoys fetching and chasing after things, like chasing other cars down… Roscoe WDC 2024 confirmed. Lewis also has Roscoe involved in many of his projects, Lewis has hinted that Roscoe has a cameo in ‘Apex’, his movie starring Brad Pitt. When Fortnite asked him to be in the game he said he would only agree if Roscoe was in the game with him. Fortnite, of course, agreed because Roscoe is an angel. They ended up putting him in a jet pack. He was 1,500 V-Bucks or 2,400 V-Bucks with the ‘Lewis Hamilton Budle’ (IDK if thats a lot I don’t play Fortnite). Lewis also said Roscoe is the only person he can count on to stand with him along with Bono.

After Coco’s death, Lewis took Roscoe to the vet where they recommended starting him on a vegan diet similar to what Lewis has. This vegan diet is often recommended to bulldogs because they often have food intolerances or allergies to the meat proteins that can affect the skin and gastrointestinal tract. The vegan diet Roscoe is on still includes the same things without the meat proteins in it that caused him to have health issues. Lewis has said his breathing has improved and that he no longer has skin allergies. Roscoe also has physical therapy and acupuncture every week to help with his joints.  Roscoe has also had health issues that caused him to ejaculate, often uncontrollably, scaring baby Roscoe and leading to him getting snipped in 2016. Lewis did have his sperm frozen so that Roscoe could have puppies. Lewis said, “It’s great his genes will live on.” Lewis said his plans were to have Roscoe’s puppies after he retires but with the fanzone in 2024 Australia GP, it sounds to me like he may be looking sooner to have Roscoe’s pups or to retire. Last year, around the British GP, Roscoe had some issues regarding his spine. If I remember correctly, it involved a slipped hernia in his spine. Luckily, he got stem therapy and was able to attend the GP. He has been improving, and as of today he is back to normal.

Now for the part most people know about. Roscoe started his instagram account, roscoelovescoco, in January 2015 with a post featuring Coco and him captioned “Thanks for following us :).” The instagram account was originally a joint account with both Coco and Roscoe until 2020, although both did get solo posts. As expected Roscoe does make money off his Instagram, but he is also a dog model. Lewis said in a Silver Arrows interview in 2021 that he gets paid $700 a day which goes in Roscoe's treat fund. Roscoe also has sponsorships. His Thanksgiving party was sponsored by Bramble Pets, and he did content (including a commercial) for Zapp, a food delivery company Lewis invested in. Roscoe also appears in Lewis' vlog channel (it hasn’t been updated since 2021) multiple times. His last appearance is in a video “Adventures with Roscoe! | Lewis Hamilton Vlogs” which is also the last updated video on Lewis channel. He reached 1 million followers in 2024, which is more than Chouprette Lagerfield, the cat of Karl Lagerfeld (I am not joking, this man left a good chunk of his fortune [~$300 million] to his cat). Roscoe’s captions on his instagram posts were originally typed in a sort of third person first person mix but in October 2020, Roscoe finally established his first first person post with his famous lisp. However, the conspiracy expands as prior to this first lisp post, there are two posts on instagram where Roscoe (and Coco) are talking to us. The first one was posted April 2024 with Roscoe saying, ‘They put a thermometer up me bum, dad!’ In this speech bubble, Roscoe doesn’t have a lisp but does speak in a sort of baby talk. The next post in October 2017 features both Roscoe and Coco with Roscoe saying, “We got acupuncture today Dad!” and Coco saying, “It’s my favorite.” (More info about the dogs getting acupuncture is in the health section.) I will note his lisp comes and goes on his posts around November 2020. His lisp finally stays and its intensity does increase. There are also a few posts taken with Mercedes that don’t feature the lisp, and a few posts talking about Roscoe or Coco written in their “Dad’s” pov where it obviously doesn’t use a lisp.

[race-week]

What do you think about the narative, that Tsunoda is prone to crashes?

Personally I can not remeber the last time he had a big crash that took him out of a race.

Also dont know if you wathc the Japanese GP with Crofty (?) as a comentator, but he really wanted to blame Tsunoda fro the RIC ALB crash because "he had a bad start". Is that just another narative that sky continues to push or was there any indication that he was even remotly at fault?

I don’t know about Tsunoda, I think he gets a lot of unnecessary negativity from the commentators calling him overly hot headed etc, and I think he can be quite hot headed sometimes and it doesn’t help him.

I don’t think he’s particularly crash prone, I think he can be a little mistake prone sometimes, like with a spin or something but that’s the case for a lot of drivers, I think where it hurts him is how he reacts to it. One scenario that springs to mind is him with Piastri in Mexico last year. There was contact, and the difference between how the two drivers handled it was significant but every driver handles crashes differently.

Yeah I found that in Japan weird, like Crofty and the commentators as a whole tried to blame both Tsunoda and Stroll for something they had no part in.

[ljxlj48]

A Racer's Heart

Chapter 04

F1Driver!Jeno X Reader X F1Driver!Jaemin

Preview, 01, 02, 03, 04, 05…

Genre: love triangle, co-workers to lovers, slight enemies to lovers

Warnings: swearing, car crash

Word Count: 3.6K+

Author's Note: You know when I start my story, I always have an idea of where it's going but then I start writing and suddenly I have no idea where it's going. Like if you ask me who is y/n gonna end up with, I have no idea. Like you guys are finding out with me about how this story will turn out lmaooo. I also notice that this story isn't doing that well compared to my others, and idk if its because my writing it starting to suck or because there's not a lot of nct fans that are also formula 1 fans lol. nevertheless hugs and kisses to anyone reading <333

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Part of your job, as Jeno’s race engineer, is ensuring that Jeno remains confident in his ability and his car.  Your job becomes extra hard when Jeno allows external influences or events to linger in his mind.  Then there's an added level of difficulty, if the events that are lingering on Jeno’s mind involve you.  

It was clear that Jeno’s mind wasn’t where it was supposed to be in Azerbaijan and Canada, when Jeno finished outside of the points in both.  This weekend, you guys were in the UK, silverstone. You hoped that you could get his mind in the right state for the race.   

“Just get out there and race,” you tried to find the right words to encourage Jeno.  

“I know,” Jeno said as he hung his head, fiddling with gloves, as he sat in the car on the circuit.  

“Jen,” you called out to him once more, to get him to look at you before you had to go back into the garage. “I’m okay, I promise.” 

“My helmet, please,” Jeno said as he pointed to his helmet on the nose of the car, not acknowledging your earlier words.  You sighed, handing Jeno his helmet.  

“Be safe,” you say as you place a hand on Jeno’s helmet after he puts it on.  The visor doesn’t let you see Jeno’s eyes, but you feel him nod slightly.  You leave your place on the circuit going back to the garage to take your seat.  You put on your headset, “check? Can you hear me Jen?” 

“Loud and clear dear,” Jeno chuckled, “let’s score some points, yeah?” 

“You know what to do Jen.” 

-

‘We’re entering lap 23, and you can see Martin, the battle between the NCT teammates are starting to heat up’ 

You watched the monitor, seeing what everyone watching on TV was seeing.  “This isn’t good,” Mark said, from the other side, as he watched his own monitor. 

“We told them they were allowed to race,” Taeyong said, as he watched what you guys were watching.  Jeno and Jaemin were going into the turns side by side, coming wheel to wheel.  

‘It doesn’t sound like they are giving out any team orders in the NCT garage, Crofty’

“I don’t like this Taeyong, they’re gonna crash,” you spoke up, not liking this.  Neither Taeyong nor Mark knew what happened in Monaco, when they asked if something happened, both Jeno and Jaemin shrugged it off as the season was getting more serious now.  

‘This is very interesting Martin, usually drivers are arguing with the team to give out orders or not, but it is silence on the NCT team radio’

“Let them race, as long as they’re not bashing each other on the radio where all the teams can hear, they’re not causing problems.” 

‘I would think you have to give out orders to ensure both drivers score points for the championship, if not they could crash which would take them out of the points completely’

The race continued on with them going back and forth, it wasn’t until Ocon closed in on them that they stopped racing each other and defended their respective positions.  They crossed the finish line P8, Jeno, and P9, Jaemin.  Picking up another six points for the team.  You took the largest sigh of relief when the checkered flag finally waved.  

“P8 Jen, good job,” you spoke into the radio to Jeno.  

“Thank you,” Jeno said, in a rather monotone voice, as he finished out his cool down lap.  

‘I wonder what’s happening in the NCT garage, I guess we’ll have to ask in the post-race interviews’

You sighed, watching the broadcast of the race.  After doing his weigh in, Jeno went straight to the media bullpen to finish his requirements.  However, when Jaemin finished his weigh-in, he came to find you.  “y/n a word, please?” 

“Sure,” you said as you put down your stuff, and stepped away with Jaemin.  Your breath started to get short, as you walked further into the garage, away from most people.  This wasn’t like Jaemin.  Usually, if Jaemin had something to say, he would just say it, regardless of who was around. 

When Jaemin finally stopped, and looked towards you, you began to feel nervous about what Jaemin had to say.  “Jeno told you what happened that night in Monaco?” 

You took a breath, “He only told me what he knew, there's still a few hours missing because no one was there with me.” You answered his question honestly, but it still looked like the answer pained him.  

“I see,” Jaemin didn’t meet your eyes, which was very unlike him.  Jaemin always portrayed confidence.  He said everything on his mind, he looked people in the eyes, he stood tall.  The person in front of you didn’t portray that confidence.  “It feels like Jeno is still angry with me for that night, and he has every right to be, I put you in danger.  So I just want to apologize again, I should’ve never left you like that, especially when you told me you weren’t familiar with the area.” 

You felt bad for Jaemin, he had apologized to you every weekend since Monaco.  He hasn’t stopped apologizing, even after you told him you forgave him.  Even after you told Jeno, you forgave him.  Jaemin continued to apologize.  You know he shouldn’t have left you alone, but what was done was done.  Everything ended up okay in the end, there was nothing more to be done already.  

You were about to accept another apology when Jeno shouted your name from across the garage.  The roughness of Jeno’s voice, caused shivers to run down your spine. You turned back to see him, and watched as he stared daggers at Jaemin.  “I’m sorry Jaemin,” you whispered, as you walked towards Jeno.  

You followed Jeno back up to his room, you made sure to shut the door before speaking up, “that wasn’t necessary.” Jeno didn’t respond to you, instead gathering his clothes to rinse off before leaving for the day.  “Jeno you need to forgive Jaemin already, I have, why can’t you do the same?” 

Jeno continued to ignore you. 

“Jeno, I’m talking to you, the least you can do is look at me.”  Jeno turned around to face you, his face stuck in a scowl. You felt your shoulders drop, and your eyes softened, “I’m okay Jeno, I really am okay.” 

“And what if you weren’t?” Jeno asked, a little louder than his normal.  “What if I didn’t get there in time?  What if I didn’t pick up the phone that night?  What if you didn’t go to the restroom?  What if you weren’t okay?” Jeno asked, as you saw the tears brim his eyes, Jeno dropped to a seat.  You followed, finding a spot right next to him.  “10 minutes, it took me 10 minutes to get to you.  For 10 minutes I could only imagine the worst happening to you.  For 10 minutes I had to figure out how to explain to your parents that you were dead.  For 10 minutes I couldn’t protect you.  For 10 minutes, I was completely helpless.  And it was my fault.”  

You wiped away your own tears, “it’s not,” you whispered as you stared down at your lap.  You took a deep breath, you could blame Jaemin for leaving you alone.  You could blame yourself for not watching your drink.  You could blame the bartender for allowing it to happen, but there was only one person to blame.  “It’s the guy who drugged me, that's who's at fault, no one else.  Not Jaemin and especially not you.  You can’t blame a predator's actions on you Jeno.”  You grabbed Jeno’s hand, squeezing it, now looking at him.  

“How are you so okay with this?” Jeno asked with a slight shake of his head. 

“When you grow up knowing that no matter what you do, you will still be at risk, you get used to it, I guess.”  You felt Jeno’s eyes on you while you looked ahead.  Jeno grabbed your cheek, pressing your temple to his lips.  You cracked a small smile, enjoying the feeling of Jeno’s lips on you.  The two of you stayed in that position for a minute.  You didn’t want to move, to disrupt the delicate peace that was in place.  

-

As soon as the Silverstone Grand Prix ended, you headed up to Austria with the majority of the team.  Jeno, Jaemin, along with a few team members stayed in the UK for another day.  The rumor that was being traded amongst team members is that Jeno and Jaemin needed to stay behind for a team bonding moment.  You kept your comments to yourself, knowing that Jeno just stayed in the UK for an extra day to visit some friends out there that he didn’t get to see over the weekend.  

When you arrived in Austria, you and some of Jeno’s mechanics got together to ‘work,’ it really was just you guys at a bar drinking and shooting darts.  You stayed away from the alcohol, not really feeling comfortable drinking.  Even if you wanted to drink, you couldn’t because Jeno bothered you every five minutes.  You swear you have had partners who texted you less in your entire relationship with them, than Jeno has texted him since you’ve been out tonight.  

“Your driver and you are awfully close,” someone commented, peeking over your shoulder.  

“Oh Jeno,” you shrugged, “we’ve been friends a long time, that’s why.” 

“I see,” 

“I’m sorry I didn’t get your name,” you smiled, sticking out your hand, “I’m y/n.” 

The other person took your hand, “I know, I’m Renjun, a race engineer for NCT.  I was working with Danny, the driver before Jeno.” 

“I see,” you hesitated, worried about where the conversation was going. 

“I was excited to work with Jeno, but then Taeyong said that Jeno was bringing in his own race engineer,” Renjun said, beforing sipping the beer in his hand. 

Before Jeno was in F1, he was in Prema Racing, and so were you.  It was easy to move around and follow Jeno, because you remained a part of Prema Racing. So all you had to do was move up within the same team, like Jeno.  When Jeno left F2, and Prema Racing, he insisted you do the same.  So you did, you left Prema and applied for Alfa Romeo.  And you were content, you could’ve stayed at Alfa Romeo, you wanted to stay at Alfa Romeo.  However Jeno insisted that you needed to be with him in NCT, and he made sure of it.  He had it as a part of his contract with NCT, a job for you, to ensure you followed him.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t,” you stuttered out a half-ass apology, not sure what to say at all.  At this time, Renjun cracked a smile.  

“I’m just giving you a hard time,” Renjun laughed, “It’s really fine, it’s amazing what you and Jeno have.” 

You tried to chuckle away the awkwardness, “what do you mean by that?” 

“I’ve watched you guys these past few races, Jeno holds a lot of trust in you, he doesn’t question any of the strategy choices you make for him.” 

You repeat the same thing that you always tell yourself to Renjun, “He just knows that I know what he likes.” 

“No it's more than that, I’ve worked with drivers before, Jeno has like,” Renjun pauses, you watch him look for the right word to string into his sentence, “faith that you will do whatever is best for him, even if it goes against the greater good.”  Renjun jokes.   

You smile, never thinking about it like that, “I want him to win, so…yeah, I guess I do whatever is best for him.”  

“It's amazing Jeno has someone like you in his corner for the races.” 

-

Renjun’s words carry a certain weight with you, as the night goes on.  You find yourself picking apart his meaning behind them, mulling over them again and again.  You go through all your time with Jeno, from when you first met him until now.  You wonder if you always did what was best for Jeno.  You even carry his words with you into the Thursday, during the first strategy meetings.  

“Where are you?” Jeno asked softly, during the meeting when he noticed you weren’t really paying attention.  

You shook your head, focusing back on Taeyong as he spoke.  Jeno watched you for a moment longer, before turning his attention back to Taeyong as well.   You listen attentively as Taeyong drones on, about different plans and which tire to use when.  You push Renjun’s words to the back of your mind, and decide to handle it at another time.  

Just when the meeting ends and Renjun’s words start to creep up again, the perfect distraction makes his way towards you.  “y/n,” Jaemin says almost breathlessly, “I need to ask you something.”  Jaemin looks panicked, as he stands in front of you, almost like he’s gonna vomit whatever he says next.  

“Okay,” you say with fake worry, entertaining whatever Jaemin wants to say.  He can tell you're mocking him a little, but it doesn’t stop him.  

“Let me take you to dinner,” Jaemin blurts out, that it takes you back.  You always pictured Jaemin asking someone out to dinner that it would be done with a certain cool, a specific type of charisma.  In which it had none.  

“Jaemin,” Jeno says, now making his presence known.  

You turn your attention to Jeno, whom you thought initially left with the rest of the team when the meeting ended.  “Jeno,” Jaemin says with a slight nod of his head.  

“You boys are talking to each other again?” you asked, as you look at the both of them.  The last time either of them spoke to each other, not in front of a camera, was at the club. 

“Playing nice,” Jeno sighs.  You crack a smile.  

“Okay Jaemin, you can take me out to dinner,” you smile, as Jaemin releases a sigh of relief.  

You walk away, heading into the garage to prepare your station for this weekend's activities.  Just as your out of the meeting room, Jeno catches Jaemin’s arm, “don’t do anything stupid, yeah?” The extra day Jeno spent in the UK was intended to catch up with a few friends like he told you.  However Taeyong had pulled Jeno into a lunch with Jaemin and him, forcing Jeno and Jaemin to work out whatever was going on between them.  At that lunch, both Jeno and Jaemin concluded that what happened to you in Monaco was to never happen again.  

“I’m taking her to dinner to make up for what happened in Monaco, Jeno,” Jaemin says, as he pulls Jeno’s hand off his arm.  Jaemin enjoys messing around with people, and he’s just beginning to realize how much he can mess around with Jeno if he uses you.  “I can’t help it if she likes me more than you,” Jaemin smirks.  

-

Jaemin meets you in the hotel lobby at 6, to take you to dinner.  He’s dressed in a simple pair of black slacks with a white button up, and a suit jacket.  It’s so simple, yet it looks like Jaemin, and he wears it well.  He’s much more attentive this time around.  He opens all the doors for you, he pulls out your chair at this upscale restaurant that he chose.  He listens to everything you have to say, he asks questions to keep you going.  He doesn’t flaunt his money to the waiter, or his title.  You guys split the dessert, almost in a romantic fashion.  

Just as you're leaving the restaurant, you feel a chill come on.  You shiver, as Jaemin opens the door out for you.  As soon as you step outside, Jaemin slips off his jacket, placing the item on your shoulders.  

“Thank you,” you say, as Jaemin smiles.  

“There’s an evening exhibit just a block away,” Jaemin offers.  

“I’m not much of an art person,” you say as you looks at Jaemin

“Neither am I,” Jaemin stares at you, “I just don’t want tonight to end.”  

“Okay,” you say, as you and Jaemin walk down to the exhibit.  Jaemin places a hand on the small of your back, he makes sure you’re on the inside of the sidewalk as the two of you walk the block. The two of you spend hours looking at the different art displayed.  Neither of you knows what any of it means, or what the artist was trying to portray or what symbolism is being shown, but you stay nonetheless.  Jaemin follows your lead, allowing you to pull him into any direction.  He doesn’t mind, he enjoys watching you pick apart the artwork to relate to something.  

“It’s really beautiful,” you say as you stare at the portrait, the plaque says that it was a portrait of the artist’s muse, their significant other.  

“It is,” Jaemin agrees, as his eyes stay locked on you.  Jaemin doesn’t know what the painting looks like, or what the plaque says, but the art before his eyes is truly beautiful to him.  

Neither you or Jaemin really want the night to end, so much so that the exhibit workers ask you and Jaemin to leave so they can go home for the night.  You bash, not realizing you spent that much time there.  Jaemin, thinks that if he slips the workers a few hundred, they will let you guys stay a bit longer, but before Jaemin can act on the idea, you’re walking out.  

“We need to let them go home,” you smile, offering your hand for Jaemin to take.  

“Because you said so,” Jaemin says, as he takes your hand.  You spend at least another hour or two walking around just talking with Jaemin.  Talking with Jaemin feels like floating in a calm sea, it’s light, easy, and can go on forever. 

You try to delay the end of the night for as long as possible, Jaemin does the same.  He walks you all the way up to your hotel room door.  It’s easily one in the morning by the time you make it back to the hotel.  

“Why don’t you come in?” you ask Jaemin as you push open the door.  

“That would be improper,” Jaemin smirks, “maybe after the second date.” 

“This was a date?” you joke.  

Jaemin chuckles at your joke, “I had a really nice night y/n,” Jaemin says seriously now.  

“Me too, thank you.”  

Jaemin comes in close, pressing his lips to your cheek, you feel a little disappointed that all you got was a kiss on the cheek.  You guess your face exposes you, because Jaemin says, “don’t look so disappointed sweetheart,” with a certain smirk.  

You blush, as you realize you got caught.  “I’ll see you tomorrow,” you say, trying to find words to fill in the gap, “goodnight.” 

“Goodnight, sweetheart,” Jaemin says as he takes a step watching you close the door on him.  After he hears the final click of the door shutting, Jaemin begins to walk away to go to his hotel room.  Jaemin lets out a sigh, if it was anyone else, he would have taken up the offer to come inside.  But you were different.  Jaemin doesn’t like second dates, or kisses on the cheek, or hand holding, or long walks in the park, or art exhibits.  But Jaemin likes being around you.  

He feels himself get giddy, thinking about the moment you offered your hand.  He smiles, when he thinks about you staring at the portrait at the exhibit.  He blushes when he recalls how you clung on his arm during the walk in the park.  He laughs to himself, when he remembers you had a little something on the corner of your mouth when you guys shared dessert.  He lays in his bed, with images of you playing in his mind.  He dreams of you in his sleep, with a smile plastered on his face.  

-

“How was dinner?” Jeno asks as he goes through the car specs to prepare for practice.  

The mention of last night's dinner has the blood rushing to your cheeks, “it was nice,” you smiled, staring at your tablet.  

“He didn’t leave you right?” Jeno asks with a certain bite in his tone.  

“Jeno, we agreed to let it go already,” you scolded.  

“I was just checking,” Jeno scoffs, as he goes back to looking over his car, “better not start cheering for him.” 

“Never, you’re still my favorite driver,” you say with a little nudge, that causes Jeno to smile.  

-

While Jeno is putting in his practice laps, Jaemin makes his way over to you.  “Hey sweetheart,” Jaemin says, gaining your attention.  You blush at the nickname he seems to love to call you.  “I had fun last night,” Jaemin says.  

“I did too,” you smile.  

“Let me take you out again, Sunday after the race,” Jaemin asks. It comes to a bit of a surprise to himself that he did ask you out again, Jaemin isn’t really sure about what he wants from you, or what he can give you.  All he knows is that he enjoys being with you.  

“Okay,” you answer, not able to contain your smile.  Jaemin leaves you to prepare to put in his own practice laps.  Just before he’s out of your sight, he sends a wink your way, that causes even more blood to rush to your cheeks.  

“y/n,” Jeno’s voice cuts clear across the radio, there’s a panic in his voice, something you don’t pick up right away, “something feels off,” 

“What are you talking…” Just before you could finish your question, you watch as Jeno’s car spins out of control and into a barrier. 

---------------------------

Taglist:@90sgatsby-jjh@neothingss@lanadreamie@cuteejeno@fariylixie0915

[vro0m]

vro0m’s rewatch - 102/301

2012 Belgian GP

Disclaimer for this season. It turns out that I only have the footage of the race for a lot of the GPs (no build-up, no post-race content) so there will be way less GIFs unfortunately. I will let you know for each of these reviews if there are GIFs or not. THIS ONE HAS GIFS.

Alright it's round 12 already, post summer break, let's see whose upgrades work.

Apparently the qualifying session was very surprising. Lewis is down in 7th so I guess the McLaren is not getting any better, unfortunately. Oh wait. Jenson is on pole so... I guess the car’s not the issue... Seb is 10th!!! That's not good. Alonso 5th. Perez 4th. Raikkonen 3rd. It's Kobayashi sharing the front row! Surprising indeed.

Ohhh Lewis is stuck between Maldonado and Grosjean 💀 scary lol. Crofty says his co-commentator (didn't hear who it was except it’s not Brundle) called that (Maldonado - Lewis - Grosjean) the "danger zone". Yep. Yep. For sure.

Webber is 12th, with a grid penalty for a gearbox change.

Formation lap

Oh hey it's Lupe Fiasco with Nicole here to support Lewis! It's funny I used to listen to his music a lot a few years back.

Ohhh Kobayashi's brakes are smoking...

And they're racing!

Oh what, Maldonado jumped so quickly... Is that a false start? It seems like an impossibly quick reaction time. Yeah I went back and he clearly moves ahead of everybody else. Yep. I watched it a third time and he moved before the lights were off.

OH MY GOD HUGE CRASH. Lewis is involved. Oh no. Grosjean came from behind him, pushed him to the side and they made contact. It made him lose control of the car, crash into Grosjean who crashed into a third car and then a Ferrari that hit a fifth car. I can't believe this shit. Fucking Grosjean. I'm gonna have to watch a whole race for what now 😭

There is so much debris it's bad. Safety Car obvi. And now they're talking about Maldonado jumping the start.

Nicole is shaking her head. Lewis is out and walking oh... He's walking very slowly, deliberately, towards Grosjean... A marshal is already trying to hold him back. They're talking. 

Alonso is not out of his car, the doctors are there, hunched over him. He's moving. He's getting out now, they are holding him gently. They're talking.

Lewis is walking back in the pitlane holding a piece of his own car. This image makes me extremely sad.

De la Rosa and Kobayashi pit, either they caught some debris or they're part of the other cars that were involved in the crash. Maldonado as well. And Lewis walking in the midst of it all, still with that chrome piece in his hand and his helmet on.

This is so tragic damn. Seriously. He's walking kilometers 😭 he's going straight through the other teams’ boxes and the mechanics standing there are watching him as he goes past them.

I wonder if he'll get in trouble for doing that because I'm pretty sure that's a security concern.

We see the replay. Now the commentators are certain Maldonado jumped the start, it's extremely obvious from the aerial view.

Oh so the third car involved in that accident was Perez, and Grosjean went OVER him and believe me it’s even more terrifying than whatever you’re picturing right now because, let me remind you, it’s pre-halo era.

The fifth car was barely touched, he was very lucky. I still don't know who it was. Oh it's Kobayashi, who completely missed his start. These on-boards are scary. We see Lewis taking his hands off the steering wheel to not break his wrists from the sudden jerking movements. Omg the view from Alonso... He's doing his thing and then BAM Grosjean is on top of his nose. Phew... Seb had to pit, we saw him collecting debris on the replay. Oh no, he actually hasn't, but Kobayashi did. Ah and Perez is out too.

Oh. We see Lewis' on-board again and Crofty says of Grosjean "he doesn't seem spatially aware of his car" which. Devastating and very true.

Ah see, I was right btw, I knew it was bad news for Lewis to find himself behind Maldonado and Grosjean. We see a replay of Lewis getting out of his car and tapping the side of his head essentially telling Grosjean "are you fucking crazy?"

Lee Mackenzie says she talked to McLaren : he is okay but he won't be talking to the media until after the race.

And the Safety Car is in. There's still loads of debris. So Jenson is still in the lead followed by Hulkenberg and Raikkonen. Maldonado has parked his car AND he's under investigation for that jump start. Lol we see a replay from Charlie's cabin and he's shaking is head watching that start.

I'm gonna watch this race on x2 speed because hey.

Alonso is sitting in Ferrari's garage, he looks fine.

OMG Kovalainen spun and almost collected another car spinning back around. Surely that's gonna be a penalty for dangerous driving? (Nope, there was no penalty.) A RedBull has just been overtaken by a Williams...

One third of the race in, Jenson is still comfortably ahead and Seb is making his way up the field.

Now Kovalainen hit Karthikeyan in the pitlane, coming in as he was leaving. Webber is also making his way up the field. Seb is now up in P2. Jenson is still way ahead.

Two thirds of the race in, Jenson is leading, over 14s ahead of Seb and Schumacher. Webber is under investigation for unsafe release as he almost collided with Massa as he left his box while Massa was joining his. Oop. Karthikeyan just crashed. Raikkonen overtook Schumacher for the podium. There are 4 cars all contained within 1 second fighting for that 3rd position. Schumacher took his place back from Raikkonen. Webber is attacking Hulkenberg for 5th. 10 laps left.

Raikkonen overtook Schumacher again, Webber can't get past Hulkenberg. Hulkenberg overtakes Schumacher. Massa is now closing on Webber. Schumacher overtakes Hulkenberg. Hulkenberg overtakes Schumacher who pits anyway. Massa overtakes Webber.

And it's the end of the race!

Jenson wins, followed by Seb and Kovalainen.

Okay so Wikipedia time. About that accident, Grosjean pushed Lewis towards the pitwall, they touched, both lost control of their cars. Grosjean collided with Perez, was thrown in the air, crashed into Alonso and stopped against the outside wall. Lewis crashed into Kobayashi and Alonso after he was hit by Grosjean. Perez lost his rear wing and touched Maldonado which is why he then spun. Kobayashi's sidepod had a hole in it and he found himself in the last place after starting on the frontrow.

Grosjean received a €50'000 fine and a one-race ban (!). Maldonado received TWO 5-place grid penalties, one for the jump start, one for colliding with Glock at some point.

Ah yes! I found Lewis' post race interview on YouTube! It's terrible quality but anyway. He says he doesn't wanna talk about the start (what else do you have to say my man you weren't here for the rest of it...), he believes people saw what happened. Huge congratulations to Jenson, walk in the park for him. It's great to see that they have the pace. He has to try to pull that out of his car in the next race. The journalist says his fans will be happy to see he’s fit and well and is he not too shaken up after the accident? He looks to the side, and quickly puts on a smile, shakes his head and says he's had a lot worse than that. (Lol really? When? Cocky idiot (affectionate)) She asks if he's able to learn anything when he’s out watching the race and he says no, dejectedly. He doesn't elaborate. You can tell he's done with it and doesn't want to talk anymore. The journalist doesn't try to push him. That’s it.

[raine-y-days]

Emotions-Logan Angst

This isn't my first writing piece but it's my first time writing on here soooo let's see what happens

Intruloceit (Remus x Logan x Deceit) at the beginning, angst later down.

Warnings: Angst, fighting, mention of killing puppies.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Logan sighed happily as Deceit and Remus cuddled close to him. This was one of the nights that they came out to the light side of the mindscape instead of Logan going over to them. With Deceit on his left and Remus on his right, he couldn't be happier.

Logan flipped the page of his paper back book, continuing to read the fascinating murder mystery novel. "What are you reading, Starlight??" Deceit sleepily sifted his head to look up at Logan. "The Murder of Roger Ackroyd by Agatha Christie, the novel I told you about during our last meeting" Logan smiled warmly at the sleepy snake. At least some cared about his favorite book. "A murder you say? " Remus giggled, somehow quickly woken up out of his deep rest "could you read it to us , Croftie Softie? " . Logan felt a rush of happiness.

One of his dearly beloved wanted to hear about his book. " Of course ,Dears” Logan started to read out loud the page he was on. He had just started to re-read book so there wasn’t much they missed, only 12 pages in. 

An hour later, Logan finished reading the 40th page (he was a fast reader, but he did slow down from time to time from Remus’ request) , Logan’s lovers still giving him their full attention . Logan glanced over at the clock on his dresser , it was 8 am. As much as Logan wanted to stay with his boyfriends , they had stayed up all night .Not only was that not healthy but Virgil and Patton usually wake up at this time, each with their separate reasons. “ My loves , As much as I hate to say it, you must get heading home now” Remus whined and Deceit pouted. “ Why can’t we just steal you? You belong with us not those fun-suckers” Remus groaned , Deceit smiled sadly at Remus’ antics . “ Sweetheart, you know why we can’t take him yet “ Deceit took Logan’s hand. “ The others would never let me go , they are extremely close minded “ Logan kissed Remus’ cheek  who giggled in response. 

The three climbed off the bed and bathed each other in affection. Deceit bowed and gave the back of Logan’s hand a prince-like kiss. Remus showered Logan’s face in sloppy kisses.

They were so caught up in the affection that they never heard the footsteps of the others. They pulled away from each other and when they were about to sink down into their part of the mindscape, someone opened the door. That someone gasped, all they saw was Remus and Deceit standing in front of a sad Logan. The only thing was that they didn’t know that Logan was sad because they were leaving him with them.

“ Logan! “ Virgil’s voice came from the doorway. His eye shadow grew darker each second a thought came to his mind, each worse then the last, trying to find out why dark sides were in Logan’s room. 

The three snapped their heads towards the doorway, fear covered Logan’s face. Virgil found out. Virgil was here. He knew they shouldn’t have stayed that long. He should have never let them. But Logan’s selfish wants blinded him. “ What the hell are you two doing here? Get away from him! “ Virgil ran in-between Logan and his lovers. Deceit coated himself with his acting skills and Remus tried his hardest, neither of their efforts going noticed by Virgil.

“ My my , Virgil. So quick to assume , do you really think that lowly of me? “ Deceit faked a smirk. “ Get out” Virgil lowered his voice to a threatening manner, the Logan behind him couldn’t say anything. He couldn't move . Remus shot Logan a reassuring  smirk as the two faded out. Virgil snapped his attention Logan , who was still stunned to silence. “ Holy - what where they doing here , Logan?? What did they do to you?” Virgil frantically searched Logan for any injures , Logan flinched at the touch. He didn’t want touch from him. Virgil backed away , “ What did they do to you?” . Logan snapped out of his trance and shook his head , “ No Virgil you don’t understand they didn’t do anything!” . Virgil angrily shook his head, “ Those bastards are making you lie to me now?” . “ No Virgil that’s not it I-” Virgil pushed his way through and ran through the door. 

Logan stood there, tears threatening to slip out. What did Virgil come into his room anyway? Wasn’t the door locked? How did they not see the door opening? There were many logical answers but Logan was thinking anything but logical at this moment. He could hear Virgil call out for the others, Patton being the first one to respond. They rushed into Logan’s room, drowning him in questions. Logan could bare to try and explain. He felt... Angry.

Angry at Virgil for coming into his room. Angry at Roman for roaring insults at his boyfriends. Angry at Patton for looking as if he cared. Angry at Deceit and Remus for loving him. Angry at himself for feeling angry.

Logan stared at his plate of food. It’s been a week after that accident, Deceit and Remus never visited. Logan was glad but he still had bags under his eyes from the relentless crying over the nights. Roman boosted about his most recent quest, his booming voice gave Logan a headache but he couldn’t bother to mention it. He didn’t have the energy for anything, not even eating. 

Logan drank all of his water, the coolness helping his sore thoart out a tad bit but not enough to make him feel better. Nothing could.

“ Logan, yo specs” Roman snapped his fingers infront of Logan’s face, grabbing his attention. “ Hm?” Logan replied tiredly , not caring to fix his posture. Not like they would notice anyway . 

“I was just saying about how you never did tell us what happened to you when you were with those foul villains” Roman crossed his arms , Virgil waiting with anticipation , Patton giving Logan a worried look. Logan didn’t respond, he just turned his attention back to his plate of untouched food. “ Logan , it’s ok they can’t hurt you here”

They're not the ones hurting me

“ You can tell us, we’ll be here “

You’re never here

“ Did they threaten you. Is that why you’re not saying anything? “

I don’t have to tell you anything

“ We have your back”

You’d throw me away for your own selfish gain

“I know they’re horrible but-”

“ NO!” Logan stood up, his chair falling behind him “ YOU DON’T KNOW! YOU NEVER KNEW!”. Logan breathed heavily and stared at his co-workers shocked faces. “ Logan, you don’t know what you’re saying . You don’t believe -” Patton started . “ DON’T TELL ME WHAT TO BELIEVE!” Logan threw his plate of food on the ground , shattering . Roman stood up, “ Logan, calm down”.

“ Don’t tell me to calm down , Roman” Logan spit his name with such venom, Roman was shocked. “ You always say ‘ they’re horrible’ ‘they’re trying to harm Thomas’ but you never stopped to get to know them! “ . Virgil sneered , “and what exactly  do we need to know?? Lying and thinking of killing puppies “ Patton winced “ Is never good for Thomas!” .  “ We lie everyday! Patton lies about his happiness, Roman lies about his pride in himself, and yet you all are quick to place the blame on Deceit! And those thoughts only prove that Thomas is human as 1 out of 50 people have them! You all are so fixed on making Thomas perfect, but it is impossible and you never seem to see that!” Logan felt the tears that piled up in his eyes start to fall. He didn’t know whether there from being angry or the pain he felt, but he didn’t care. 

“AND IF THEY’RE SO HORRIBLE THEN HOW COME THEY’RE THERE FOR ME WHEN YOU ALL NEVER WERE! “ Logan gripped the edge of the table, resisting to start throwing things at them. Logan froze and sniffed, wiping his tears quickly. “  Logan we..didn't know you felt that way” “ No... You never know do you Patton? “

“Woah, wait a minute don't talk to him like that! “ Virgil stood up, Patton left being the only one not standing up. “ Yeah you’re right I shouldn’t talk to him like that..... In fact I shouldn’t talk to him at all. I’m leaving...I’m leaving to be with the people that care about me” Logan backed away from the three, running up the stairs when he got to them.

The others ran after him , trying to make him reconsider  as he messily packed every necessary and a few of his favorite objects (rubix cube, galaxy blanket Remus sewed for him, favorite books). He’ll come back for everything else later, he thought as he slapped the lid of the suitcase .He pushed pass the yelling others, walked out that door , and ran into his boyfriends arms in tears.

He’s ok 

He’ll be ok

[piastri]

so I got the motogp videopass thing which is great as you get all the races / press conferences / documentaries going wayy back in 720p and it’s FREE till the 27th. (just make sure to cancel it straightaway so you don’t accidentally forget and it auto renews)

to get the most out of it I’m watching the top 10 races of every season (and highlights of the ones I skipped which I might go back to and watch if I get the time) and I started with 2015. thank you to @dybain for helping me pick some of these and @fabioquartarar0 for convincing me to finally start watching! 💞

this is just a mess of my thoughts as I was going through the season and I wanted to record it

Ratings and Summary:

Qatar - 3.5

vale & dovi looked more like they were doing synchronised skating rather than racing, that’s how often they were side by side

Argentina - 5

rossi vs marquez on diff tyre compounds, tortoise vs hare situation... the ending was explosive to say the least

*jorge wins like 4 in a row from start to finish we STAN*

*mugello & barcelona... me and alex both suffered watching marc being the disaster child that he is 😫

Assen - 5

rossi vs marquez continued. 36yr old vs 22yr old. I swear I will never get enough of these 2, going at it till the very last lap. marc with a last minute lunge (boy never gives up and that’s why I love him). shout out to vale’s lil roly-poly celebration after :’)

British - 4

jorge & vale are tied for points at this stage. we get rosquez in the rain. quite a few crashes. ultimately wet weather master class from vale, how on earth is he STILL this good?

San Marino - 4.5

Mixed conditions, they had to switch bikes 2 times. absolutely fascinating, they don’t have radios so the riders have to make the decisions for themselves. and OH JORGE 😫 some unexpected podiums, imagine crashing and then still ending up on the podium? Scott Redding did THAT.

Aragon - 3.5

crash early on for marc he looked so angry at himself 😩 and SUCH a good duel between Dani & Vale till the last lap 

Japan - 3

wet race.... DANIIIII 🎉

Australia - 5++++

HOLY SHIT there’s a reason this is considered one of the best motogp races ever. overtake overtake overtake OVERTAKE (that one by iannone on rossi and marquez jeeshh) that last lap omg, I was holding my breath, could not call it. top 4 finishing within a second of each other! also poor seagull 😣

Sepang

the pre-race press conference is very important contextually for what happens next. vale accuses marquez of ‘playing’ with him in the last race and wanting to help jorge extend the lead in the championship. all around very awkward affair as jorge and marc are sitting either side of him. to a motogp noob like myself, it didn’t seem like the race was manipulated? but what do I know

bruh how do I even rate this race? I had to stop the race multiple times during the first 6 laps to take a minute because that duel between rosquez, holy shit that got PERSONAL, hand gestures and all. and then of course it all went up in flames, my mouth literally fell open. you NEED to watch this for yourself. in all of the chaos Dani wins ❤️

Valencia - 4

vale starts from the back of the grid after reviewing the penalty, his first lap was insane he overtook like 10 riders and had a great comeback. isolated, the race itself wasn’t that ‘exciting’ not that many overtakes but in the context of the championship it was everything (shout-out to the commentators for really building up the scene and the intensity) I thought for sure marquez was gonna go for a lunge at the end but he didn’t (all the people who say that he stayed behind on purpose can quite frankly fuck right off)

JORGE WINS THE CHAMPIONSHIP. I RESPECT this guy so much you can tell he puts so much into every single race and it takes so much out of him emotionally and physically.

I ADORE the tiny 5’2 spanish man dani pedrosa ❤️ on his day he is incredibly fast and he just comes across really positive.

I LOVE my sometimes overeager, aggressive demon (but also very sweet, humble and incredibly talented) child marc marquez. He sort of reminds me of my favourite f1 drivers (lewis and max) at the start of their careers and I’ve heard he’s matured a lot since 2015 and I’m looking forward to seeing that.

side note - the way marc pronounces victory as bictory 😂🥰

I am in AWE of Valentino Rossi. There’s a reason he’s considered the GOAT. he’s just seems technically so on point as a rider and no one else really comes close in the rain. he’s incredibly passionate about his racing, sometimes maybe even a little too passionate (perhaps if he hadn’t made those comments in the press conference, the outcome of the race in sepang and the championship could’ve been different) but it’s somewhat refreshing to see a guy really wear his heart on his sleeve and say what he actually feels rather than give robotic PR answers. also I’d never realised before just how big the #46 fan base is, every single time he overtakes someone the cheer from the crowd is insane and this is at every race track.

Nick Harris could give Crofty a run for his money with all the shouting, I thought for sure he was gonna lose his voice multiple times 😂 no joke he could commentate on cows grazing in the field and make it sound riveting.

random - I really like how the interviews at the end of the race with the top 3 are short and snappy and straight to the point unlike in f1. and they get to take their helmets up to the podium.

overall this was such a good season of racing, I really picked an amazing season to start with and will defiantly rewatch parts of the season in the future for a serotonin boost.

[fantasyizlife]

My Savagez pt 10

Paring: Tom Holland and Harrison Osterfield x reader (AU)

Summary: Tom, Haz and Y/N are in a loveship built so uniquely by your own three beating hearts no one could break it apart. But what happens when buried past don't stay buried? Will your love survive? Will you survive? How much of their past is going to test and take from each of you? Only time and endurance will tell.

Side note: Loosely based off of the movie Savages

Word count: 11k+

Warnings: fluff angst smut. 18 and older type of vibe

The next few weeks flew by in a blur as I trained hard and built myself into something I never thought I could be, a savage, and I would do anything to protect my family, so I excelled. I was introduced to Zendaya, one of the smartest and prettiest team members. She and I became close as she taught me how to become deadly and lure people of both sexes to my advantage. She had been apart of a secret and highly classified entity called Silky Touch, they trained her in the fine art of lethal seducing, it made me that much more braver in bed with Tom and helped me learn what Haz needed before he knew it. Harry had the most fun with me, always taking me out of my indoor training and letting me get used to looking at dangerous factors around me and how to use some elements to my advantage. He had nicknamed me Crofty after Lara Croft. Sam taught me to use my head to see things in plain sight that others couldn't. Much of our time was focused on evolving my other senses so he blindfolded me, I quickly became second at assessing my environment. Tom was more attuned than any of us. Tom was also the one who was most physical with me. He trained me on self defense and how to kick ass. He never went easy on me either. It hurt like hell but I endured it and as I grew I felt confident and powerful. Haz trained my reflex skills and endurance, he was mentally stronger than any of them and now I knew some secrets in how he had such self control when it came to physical wants and needs.

That didn’t help me in the bedroom because seriously, I couldn't get enough of either one of them. We never got to the part where we had a schedule like Tom had suggested. We just went with the flow. It was natural for us. The only small difference was if Tom walked in on us kissing or any other forms of pda he made it clear for us to knock it off. We respected that. Harrison couldn't care less, he's stayed quite a few times when me and Tom were making out until he was sent away. If I had sex with Tom or with Harrison it was done in the privacy of their own room and they had a floor to themselves. Tom was on the first floor Harrison was on the third. They built me a dance studio and I had my own bedroom in between them. It was the best choice I had made because I swear as the days went by, my libido got out of control. The shift in my attitude and self confidence had me ending any training with Haz or Tom with a encore of them inside me, they had gotten spoiled by it. My breast seemed more sensitive to the touch, my stomach quivered at the innocent of touches. Even my orgasms seemed more powerful, I felt every sensation and if not for the quiet floor between them, I’m 100% sure the other would have heard my cries of pleasure. I can’t tell you how many times I wished I had them both at the same time, I was that out of control. But it was their fault, they spoiled me just as much!

My only demand was that if they wanted to sleep overnight with me I had an open door policy. My room was the safe zone and every night they both made their way next to me. Some nights we went to bed together. Most nights TomTom would come in quietly if I was asleep and hold me close. It's how I learned to know how bad of  a trip he had, Tom had become obsessed with finding this leader and taking him out, they were getting so close. Harrison made it a habit to wake me with a kiss and tell me he loved me no matter the time when he returned. It was his way of making peace in his soul so he could sleep. He didn't obsess like Tom did but again, he had the most self control outta all of us. Haz worried on the inside exactly the opposite of Tom. But I could read it in his eyes same as Tom's body language. Being away from them even one at a time was hard. I couldn’t ever imagine living without one or the other. They filled up both sides of my home, my bed, my heart and most of all my soul. We all wanted this to end. They had promised me no more jobs after it was done. We would move and settle down somewhere off the grid and grow old together. At least that was the plan for now. I had opened a dance studio for all ages, I wanted to keep doing what I loved and it allowed me to stay true to my heart. We had all come up with the name Tiny dancerz and Little Savagez to appeal to both girls and boys. It gained popularity quick and before I knew it, I had a full studio every day and night we were open. They had surprised me by expanding it another level making it available for adults who wanted to learn to dance too. Zendaya was really happy to help me out with that. She even opened the doors Saturday nights to adults who wanted to learn the art of pole dancing, needless to say we never taught that class alone. Haz insisted on playing DJ and actually loved it, so did the kids. Tom had become smitten with the ideal of showing these young boys that you could be cool and knowing how to dance just made them coolier for the young ladies. He was roped into teaching his own all male ballet class before we ended our second month of opening. Things were feeling so great in life that the looming threat of danger almost faded out of minds and conversations. We ended our first summer on a high note! Tom and Haz had surprised us all by setting up a talent show for a back to school kick off and the winner of each category would win an all expense paid shopping spree for back to school gear. Little did every smiling child in our studio know they were all winners.

It was Zendaya's birthday and we threw her a party at an exclusive nightclub owned by Jacob. Tom and Harrison had surprised me with a sexy black dress, along with new jewelry and topped off with fuck me ruby red and black stilettos to match. The dress was tight and clung to my curves with designed see-thru patterns. It barely covered the skin they were designed to cover, wearing a bra or panties proved impossible. Part of me wondered if Haz had picked this out, Tom would have never allowed such a risk, especially in public. I completed my look with red lips and dark smokey eyes, giving me that dark sexy edge I was feeling inside. Tonight was going to be different I could feel it as I walked down the stairs to my savagez who were waiting for me. Tom looked me up and down three fucking times, his eyes grew darker each time. His jaw twitched as he eyed the amount of skin that was on display. He bit his tongue as he looked back at Harrison who was eye fucking me with those sky blue eyes that sparkled with a lusty need that instantly heated my core. I felt the energy between all three of us and we were on fire.

“Mine” Tom said at the exact same time Harrison said “Dibs”  They looked at each other in surprise and back to me as if I had an answer.

I shook my head and grabbed a glass of ice and poured my Ciroc slowly as they watched and waited. I leaned against the counter and crossed my legs feeling the wetness already brought on by the way they were looking at me.

“Perhaps tonight I get what I want” I said slow with intent looking at Tom first. He shook his head no before the words came out, he always said no “I want you both or I sleep alone” I winked

“Hey that's not fair angel!” Harrison said playfully pouting as he walked over to me in his all black suit. His eyes grew heavy as he traced the tops of my breast with his soft finger tips that sparkled with glitter lotion.

“Perhaps we could just meet Tom at the party, we could be a little late” his voice was laced with desire and it make my sex throb with need.

Tom cleared his throat in an agitated tone. I locked eyes with him as I drank my glass down and Haz refilled it. I raised my eyebrows at Tom letting him know I understood I was pushing his limits. I shook my head as I smiled at him loving the way he just took control of my body as it shifted to wanting rough sex only he could give me. I was dancing on the edge of darkness with Tom and I loved it. He looked away trying to hide his grin as he adjusted his hard on.    

“Yeah your right Hazzi, but I have to make it fair and I’m not choosing between my sexy savagez, so we can sleep together as always but you both have to keep your hands off me when I make myself cum, if either of you can’t handle that then, you’ll need to stay in your own big boy beds” I downed my second glass and headed out to the limo as they shook their heads.

It was packed with people we knew and some we didn't. But all were thoroughly checked with tight security. I swear I always felt more guarded than the queen of England herself. But even the queen was visible to the eyes of all that surrounded her and as for me tonight, I felt a lot of eyes on me. The looks I got from eager attractive eyes caused Tom to yank me against his side as we walked straight in and up to the VIP area. I giggled into his neck as held me against him overlooking the packed club. Haz passed us drinks and snaked his arm around my waist pulling me in for a quick kiss. Tom followed with one of his own. They were making it known I was spoken for, as if anyone would even test them. The thought made me giggle again.

“Don't think for a fucking second I won't kill them just for looking at you like that" Tom growled in my ear making me feel that primal beast in him, this mood made him fuck me the hardest. His hands slid down my arms, onto my hips and he gripped them making me bend forward just enough to show me, in these new heelz, I was at perfect height to get fucked right here. I quickly grabbed his hand and pushed it away as he discovered I wasn’t wearing panties.

I moved into Harrisons arms before Tom could take me out of here and punish me. Haz must have known as he shielded me from Toms wrath. I stuck my tongue out at Tom and Haz kissed my forehead, he mouthed MINE to me and smirked. We were surprised from behind as Zendaya hugged Tom tight breaking his controlling glare that was making me melt between my legs. She pulled us all in for hugs and pictures as we started the night off right.

We spent almost the entire time in VIP. It was nearing midnight and it was Z’s pleading that let my buzzed savagez give in to letting us all go downstairs to dance before the foam countdown that started in an hour. If they dance with me, this will go down as the best party ever, and possibly our best night! I had to act quick if I really had any shot of getting them the way I truly craved.

“Let us dance and you men buy drinks, don’t worry, we can handle any trouble” I smiled as we grinded to the beat. Tom shook his head no but at least made a compromise.

One thing was certain. Tom and Harrison would never leave me by myself in this place. Not for a second. They already knew there wasn’t a guy with balls big enough to even try to hit on me me while my possessive savagez were hovering. But they would never risk it.

“Haz you stay here, I’ll grab drinks” Tom gave me a knowing glance. I was drunk and on cloud nine. “I’ll be right back Starling, then we’ll dance” He kissed me slow and deep. I stood there frozen wanting more as he turned and disappeared.

I danced with only Z as poor Harrison stood there like a bodyguard, just watching me. We had been working on his rhythm and I knew he was itching to to dance with me. So I lured him in.

Haz was so irresistibly sexy, my hands reached out to touch every inch of his hard body. We were hidden by the dancing crowd, the bodies moving like waves in a ocean under the pulsating lights. I could feel my body wanting to give in to the sexual tension I have fought all night. My mind, heart and body wanted them both so fucking bad, but knowing it would never happen and it left me frustrated. I had even avoided all contact with them the last hour before we came to the dance floor. I knew this feeling of wanting them both would pass. I just didn’t want to keep tourchericzzhing myself with the thought. Now here I was looking at my Hazzi like a snack after TomTom just reignited the desire, FUCK. Harrison kissed my neck soft and nibbled my ear.

“Shit Hazzi, I can’t stay focused out here, we should wait for Tom” I said as he rocked his hips against mine to the beat. He bit his lip and shook his head no, pulling me into him harder. I pulled back, scanning the sea of bodies for Tom. Haz held my face and tilted my chin towards the far side of the dance floor. Tom smiles at us and mouths MINE, as lifts a glass of beer to his lickable lips. His elbow rests on a table next to him, with two more drinks. His dark ruby red suit is unbuttoned at the neck. If there’s any emotion in his beautiful scowl, I don’t see it. Either i’m really drunk or Tom is truly expressionless, almost stern, he’s so hard to read. I have second thoughts about dancing, he has me disoriented yet again. Then he winks, and everything inside me melts. Fuck, he’s sexy, and he knows it. So does every woman in the club. Two girls start circling, creeping in from both sides, trapping him, so they thought. When they reach him, their lips move at different times, no doubt offering him the best of themselves at one time. His jaw twitches as his eyes never leave mine and Tom doesn't respond to them. So they follow his eyes and frown at me as I mouthed MINE. They must have had something to trigger him. Because the glare he shoots at them widens their eyes. I almost feel bad for them as they turn and stomp away.

“Come on y/n” Harrison raises his voice above the music as (Dangerous Woman by Ariana Grande) pumping through the air “Dance with your Hazzi”

I unglue my feet from the sticky floor and follow him deeper into the dance floor chaos. When he slows at the center, I keep going, pulling on his hand and bouncing to the music. I came here with two men, and I want to see them both have fun. So I head toward the far edge and stop a few feet from Tom. My brown curly haired savage licks his lips and gives me a commanding nod that tells me to dance. I find the beat, mentally tapping out the count and moving my drunk and limber body in motions designed to stir both their desires. The movements start with my head and work their way down to my feet. A hair toss, hip roll, and step together. I feel it, work it, and strip the last of my inhibitions beneath Toms heated gaze. Harrison dances around me, keeping it clean as he tries to not be insecure with his newly found ability to dance. He doesn't know that the 10 eyes around us are all women and they are watching him, wanting a shot at catching his sky blue eyes. When it comes to a man dancing in a club, less is more, and he has that figured out. He puts his personality into it, and every move has swagger mixed with a cute shyness. And he gains more attention as he loses himself in the lust he's feeling for me. His soft hands go up my sides and he rubs his fingers on my exposed neck as he moved my hair to the side and kissed it soft. Harrisons mouth licks and bites my flesh in a sensual pattern lick, bite, lick, bite. Every action is delieberte, sensual, and undeniably confident. I close my eyes as my breathing becomes labored. He moves his hips to the beat and l moan out loud at his hard cock. Damn, he knows what he’s doing. Whenever he stops one action, he makes sure he’s touching me somehow, always keeping the connection. He turns me to face him and my eyes fly open as our flush bodies melted together. He grabbed my thigh and lifted my leg. My naked kitty was glistening with my silky wetness and he kissed me as he dry fucked me slowly on that dance floor. I lost all sense of where we were as he held my body hard against him and rocked his cock up and down, making me moan into his mouth. He broke the kiss and set my leg down, making sure he held me up as I gathered myself. I rested my flush face on his shoulder and he kissed my face. I let out a flustered sigh, my body was on fire.

“I’m sorry, I just got lost in the moment y/n” he said rubbing my face as he noticed how far gone I looked. “I can sneak you outta the back, just say the word” he smiled sweetly

“Toms going to kill us” I said peeking over his shoulder in Toms direction. Yep there he was, watching every moment. He was drinking his beer and chewed his lip as we locked eyes.

(Cookie by R Kelly) fuels the room, charging the air with seductive energy.  I point my finger at Tom, mouthing, “dance with me” The corner of his frown twists upward, but he doesn’t move. Stubborn man. He can fight it if he likes, but I’m going to lure him in. I turn around, find his dark eyes over my shoulder, and worked my ass just for him. That earns me a real smile, inspiring me to work my ass to the floor, low, lower. Then I slide back up. And come face to face with Harrison.

Perspiration glistens on his forehead, his breathing is heavy and his body is burning with hunger. I rock my body up against him and he put his hand on my ass. He grips it hard, grinding with me in time with the music. Bump, bump, bump, we’re caught in it. Contagious, suggestive, the bumps roll into waves that ripple down our bodies. My hand falls to his shoulder, and his arms hang at his sides and slightly behind him, giving me full access to his hard sexy body. I indulge, drifting my other hand down his abs, tracing his muscle through the shirt, and lingering on the button of his pants. I bite my lip looking at his cock at full attention, SHIT, I want him right here. He leans in, leans out, putting a sexy roll into it. With each movement forward and back, he grows closer, smoother, sliding up against me. Then we’re grinding again, feeling the same rhythm and motion, and dancing as one. This is where it’s at. The sizzling burn. The fire and thunder that started before we had left for the club. Our hips locked together. Our eyes connect, and I’m buzzing, lost in the lusty blue of his gaze. He doesn’t just look at me. He eats me alive with his eyes. My pulse quickens. My blood pumps, hot and fast, beneath my skin. The rock of his pelvis controls the pace of my mine, and his hands caress my back, molding around my waist, and slipping down inside my bare thighs, I toss my head back welcoming the touch. Then there are four hands. My gaze flies to Haz, but I don’t need to see his relaxed expression to know who’s behind me. I’m intimately familiar with the touch of those fingers, above where Harrison has his hands, stopping the free show of my naked skin with dominating pressure. The scent of my TomTom warms my senses as he slides up behind me, gripping my hips and taking control. He slows it down. Sets the pace. Pulls me closer. Grabs me a little tighter. And lets me feel his rhythm. And his hardness. I tremble as my breaths grow faster. What are they doing to me? Harrison moves in, pressing his chest to mine and holding my face in his hands. His gaze is electric, sparking with desire. As hard as I look, I don’t see jealousy or frustration. His smile’s too bright. But those blue eyes are deep orbs of trouble. Doesn’t matter that I’m with both of them tonight. He’s going to tease me until I’m dripping, and it’ll run down my legs because FUCK, I’m not wearing panties. He rocks against me, sandwiching my body between him and Toms. His rhythm is faster, like the beat but not like the hips crushed against my ass. Tom tightens his grip, tries to take back control. But Harrison changes it up, drops it here, stops it right there, and returns to a slow grind. They go back and forth, fighting for the lead in our erotic dance. Pushing and pulling. Slowing down and speeding up. Until a beautiful thing happens. Our rhythm syncs, and our hips grind in unison, as if connected, like our souls. They stop fighting and work together, falling into the perfection that was us. I’m in heaven. Nothing is sexier than dancing between my savagez who want me as much as I want them. Harrisons smile. The press of Toms hands. The heavy sounds of their breaths. The sexual way they move against me. I could do this forever. Tom maintains the connection by leaning around me to see my face. I lean back, keeping my hips pinned between theirs and holding his gaze. We dance like that through several songs before taking a break to catch our breaths and drink. Then we dance some more. The longer I’m held between them, the bolder my hands become. Strong necks, hard pecs, muscular forearms with pulsing veins, swollen cocks. I touch them everywhere, rubbing, caressing, stroking. I’m burning up, soaked between my legs, and shaking with the impossible need to fuck them. Their own arousal vibrating through their bodies doesn’t help. They seem to have forgotten each other, their mouths and hands aggressively focused on me. When Harrisons lips capture mine, I tense up and try to pull back. He grips my neck and deepens the kiss, chasing my tongue and going wild. Then Tom is there, taking my mouth from Haz and stealing his own kiss before Haz takes it back. They pass me between them, over and over, controlled by a desire that grows greedier by the second. We continue to dance, three souls spiraling in a private world of kissing, neck licking, lip biting, and ass grabbing. Whatever this is, it’s reckless, carnal, dangerous, just like our love for each other. And we don’t seem capable of stopping. It’s too powerful, too deliciously tempting as it wraps around us and attempts to break every rule. The energy between us crackles across my skin, turning the longing inside me into a physical ache. I’ve never experienced sexual tension like this. It seethes and growls like a wild animal, as it follows us off the dance floor and stays with us during the ride home.

Harrison opens the door for me and Tom climbs in first pulling me next to him as the door closes. I squirm between them, clenching my thighs together and seeking relief. The only release for what I need is in the form of two tense men next to me. Neither of them speak or make eye contact. The phone sounding breakable beneath Harrison’s grip, and I’m not sure Tom is even breathing. I’m too drunk and hot for this nonsense.  

 “Is it just me, or is there a lot of tension in here?” I giggled. Silence. More tension. Then Harrisons eyes find mine in the flashing lights from the street. “I call dibs on the cold shower.” I arch my brow. He returns his attention to the road and tightens his grip on my now bouncing knee. I need one of those sweet hugs from Haz that turns into a primal fucking against the wall that Tom loves to give me. I want their hands on me, pulling my hair and forcing my legs open. I want them to fuck me like they hate me. It’s physically painful to just sit here, staring at their rigid bodies and breathing in the testosterone too thick for this confined space.

By the time the limo pulls into our driveway, my face is flushed and my thighs are drenched. Leaping out of it, I dart toward the door with thoughts of self-pleasure in a cold shower. When I step into the kitchen, an arm grabs my waist. My feet lose contact with the floor, and I’m tossed over a hard, broad shoulder. “Harrison!” I grip the back of his shirt and squirm to get free. “What are you doing?” He carries me through the living room, caressing a hand up the back of my thigh. With my head hanging upside down, I watch us fly up the stairs to the hall outside of my bedroom, the one we all share. I’m straining my head up to look for Tom. He’s going to be heated. They might even fight..FUCK ME..not that, anything but that!

“Not cool Hazzi” I take in a sharp breath as Harrisons fingers sink into my sex, sliding through my wet silk and pinching my clit. “Fuck, angel” he whispers in a half moan “You’re so wet baby”

 I brace my hands on his back and lift my head, meeting sinfully dark brown eyes. “Tom?” His scowl is deep, but I can’t read its meaning. Harrison’s fingering my pussy right in front of him, and he’s not stopping it. Instead, he slowly trails behind us and unbuttons the cuffs on his shirt with methodical flicks of his rough fingers. I narrow my eyes at him, and he narrows his right back. Something shifts, in the depths of his eyes and the tick of his perfect jaw. Something carnal and tameless. His expression darkens, and he is loving that even though I’m being fingered by Haz,  I’m waiting for him to tell me it’s okay. He smirks as he storms past Haz and leads the way to the bedroom. SHIT, my head spins as I feel a slap on my naked ass. They laugh together.

 I know things got out of hand on the dance floor. Wild and uncontrolled, we worked ourselves to a feverish ache. As I hang upside down over Harrisons shoulder, my fingers tingle with the need to touch. A fluttering ache persists in my chest, and there’s another, more demanding beat thats throbbing between my legs. But Haz and Tom can’t possibly intend to do anything about it. Not in the ways I fantasized during the ride home. Right? Right. They don’t share, TOMTOM don’t share. Haz carries me into the bedroom and drops me on the bed. I land on my back, and he follows me down. His expression is pure needing lust, I’ve never seen this look from him, his hands move like charged static as he pulls on my dress and hikes it up my hips. I twist my head, seeking Tom, but he’s already here, falling on me with ferocious caresses and a starving mouth. “You’re not..” I gasp at the sharp scrape of Toms teeth against my ass. “We can’t..” Haz devours my words, plunging his tongue past my lips and swallowing my air. I squirm and writhe between them, clamping my legs together, desperate to be fucked while struggling to slam on the brakes. Haz  works my dress over my chest, my head, and off, leaving me completely bare, except my heels. Then his hands are everywhere, stroking my hips, my thighs, and between my legs while Tom kisses me breathless. Their hot mouths and impatient fingers flood me with warmth and loosen my knees. I want this but we can’t do this. Tom will resent it the most. They’ll hate each other, most likely me. I try to break the kiss, but it’s Tom who presses closer, harder, tangling our tongues. I try to wriggle away, but I’m out matched, overpowered. Four hands. Two mouths. One of me. Harrison moves down my body, licking and nuzzling my hips as he caresses me from chest to toes as he removes my heels. When Tom releases my lips to bite my neck, I find my voice. “Why are you doing this? You’ll regret..” Tom grips my throat in a familiar iron fist. “Shut the fuck up.” His tone and the heat of his command, I’m a slave to it. I quickly use our safe rules from our private moments when Tom’s being too rough as I scratch his wrist that holds my neck too tight and he lightens the pressure just enough to allow me to breath again.

“Do something for me y/n.” he said in a seductive tone and I look away feeling so confused.

Harrison climbs over me, his fingers sliding down the zipper of his pants, next the button. I whimper, flicking my gaze between him and Tom, I almost want to panic. Toms eyes are serious.   

“Get out of your own damn head y/n and enjoy this” he demanded “Nod if you understand” Toms jaw tightens as he waits for me to respond. I nod franticly once I know he’s really okay with this.

Haz yanks off his shirt and attacks my breast with tongue and teeth. Tom releases my throat and moves to my chest, licking and sucking my other breast. My hands fly to their heads, holding them to me and pushing them away as my entire world comes undone in a crashing wave of need. Enjoy this. That isn’t the problem. What freaks me out is the regret I’ll see in their eyes tomorrow morning. They are polar opposites in the bedroom and we have never once discussed what happens between me and Haz or me and Tom. When I’m with them, I’m only with them, they give me what I need and I give them all of me. SHUT UP BRAIN..my body screams! I truly have a war going on inside my head without one of them to keep reassuring me.

But Tom don’t share, he loves that he has always been my first of everything, it was never planned that way. He glows with pride that he can control me with his eyes and words alone. This man has given me multiple orgasms every time he’s inside me, hell sometimes when he’s not inside me. Tom fucks me, Tom fucks me hard and with each thrust I feel the love he gives only to me. He is the air I breathe and he would give me his last breath. Tom is cold metal on my hot flesh that he makes burn for him. I belong to him in ways I don’t with... Harrison...SHIT HAZ!

Harrison makes love, he don’t fuck. In fact he shuts down my body when it goes into that primal fucking frenzy mode. He’s an expert at calming my soul and making my body feel our connection before I even have an orgasm. Haz cherishes my body and soul in a way Tom can’t compete with. In his arms I feel like I’m his everything and he is mine. There has been times when Harrison has had me so completely lost in him I didn’t want to be let go. He is warm wood to my cold soul. He is the first one I fell in love with, noone but me knows that, but it’s true. I’ll take that to my grave.

How will Haz feel tomorrow after he sees how much Tom can control all the pieces of me. And how will Tom feel after seeing Haz bring me to tears by the way he looks into my soul? Yeah, just enjoy this.

There are so many conflicting thoughts pounding in my head, but I need to remember we’re all adults. No one is here against his will. They’re controlling this, and whether or not they thought through it, they’re committed to it. Inching down my body, Harrison palms my ass, squeezes my thighs, and slides his hand between my legs, spreading the moisture. Tom tears off his shirt and returns to my mouth, kneading my breasts with strong rough fingers. Then he lifts on his knees, and I watch with ragged breaths as he unzips his pants and strips the last of the clothes from his body. His cock springs free, inches from my face, and my mouth waters with a rush of saliva. He’s beautifully blessed, both thick and long. His tip is beading with pre-come. Kneeling beside my head, he angles over me and rests the tip against my lips. I don’t wait another second. I stick out my tongue, savoring his salty taste as Harrison grips my thighs and places them around his shoulders. Then he lowers his head and buries his tongue, licking me aggressively. “Fuck!” My back arches, and my heart slams out of control. The instant my mouth opens on a choked gasp, Tom shoves in his cock. No way. NO WAY! This is happening. I open my throat wide and he pushes deep, staying there as he pumps hard. I grip the base in my fist. I could tell by his thrust he was in a different zone and not holding back, this was my way to keep him from fucking my mouth too hard. Then we’re rocking, grinding, licking, and groping. They are muscle and flesh, passion and sin, flexing and burning beneath my greedy fingers. They surround me, consume me, twisting us into a tangle of sweaty limbs and shameless self indulgence. There are so many hands on my body I’m delirious beneath the sensations. I’ve never seen them this worked up, this desperate to fuck me, not even alone. They don’t look at each other, yet somehow, they avoid each other’s touches. As I swallow and suck Tom’s cock, Harrison’s blonde head moves between my legs. He closes his eyes and groans as he taste my sex. I grow wetter with each thrust in my mouth and his jaw grinding against me, his face is soaked, tongue so deep his nose is rubbing my clit into a frenzy as he tongue fucks me with deep strokes, his tongue is wide and long, he always has me cumming in moments, I’m so close. Tom shoves a hand in my hair, gripping my head almost sensing it. Then he rolls to his back and takes me with him. I fall to my side, curled around Tom’s leg with my cheek on his abs as he drives himself into my mouth. My legs tangled around Harrison’s shoulders, and he repositions, running his hands up and down my thighs and lifting my ass toward his face. Restraining me in his unbending grip, he spreads me open and sinks his fingers deep inside. I freeze against the penetration, moaning around Toms cock in my mouth. Tom growls and reaches for my chest, pinching the fuck out of my nipple. With an anguished moan, I lick up and down his shaft. Suck hard on the head and break away for air to tell Haz no! Tom grips my face to his. No way will he let Haz have the first of this! Will he? I watch wide eyed as Tom looks at Haz and Haz looks at him while eating my pussy and carefully playing with my ass. The wetness on his face makes me moan FUCK. I’m going to explode. My eyes roll into my head and Tom grips my throat letting me know I better not. I watch as Tom clears his throat and Harrison stops working me, looking at Tom.The heaving of their breaths vibrate through the room. Their hands are rough and ruthless, their bodies hard and demanding. They can seduce my mind, make love to my flesh, and enslave my soul. I’m already theirs. Affectionate fingers stroke through my hair, tangling and straightening, Harrison. A thumb finds my clit, circling and pinching without apology, Tom. Together, they ignite a trail of fire from my head to my toes, making me restless, fevered, and insanely more turned on. Harrison leans up and removes his pants. I watch him over my shoulder as he kneels behind me, his long cock standing from between powerful thighs, his pre-cum is dripping, he’s ready. I meet his smoldering blue eyes and shiver. Is Haz going to fuck me or will he make love? And SHIT! Right now... while I’ll be sucking off Tom! Tom gives Haz something that's round and sparkling like a diamond, I barely catch the clear nub attached to it. My eyes widen as Harrison dips it into my dripping sex and circles my anus, slowly he pushes it in. I freeze and grip Toms damp skin.

“Breath sexy girl, it will help you be ready for me, I promise” Tom says holding my face, for the first time he can’t control my rampant thoughts. Tom nods for Haz to come to me. I’m on the verge of panic. Haz kisses my hot face and forces my eyes to find his sweet sky blue eyes.

“I love you angel, Tom loves you and you love us, please let us give you what you want. We want this just for you, right TomTom” he says soft looking at Tom. I look at Tom an he smiles big trying not to laugh and wreck the sexual mountain we have climbed to get here. He winks at Haz and locks eyes with me “I love you starling same as Haz does, let us give you this, just once, how can we prove to you this is what we want?” he begs..Tom never begs. My head and heart has just aligned with my physical needs and my body is grateful. I pull his lips to mine and kiss him passionate, I fist his curly brown hair as I fist Harrisons blonde hair and kiss him the same. I pull Toms hair with dominance, shocking him and bringing his gasping open mouth into mine and Harrisons kiss. Our tongues dance wild and unsure at first, each of them pulling away but being held by my pleading moans and tightening grip in their hair. Just like our dancing earlier that night we found our rhythm just like our bodies did on that dance floor. I clenched my sex as I nearly exploded when I backed away and they kept kissing. FUCK, they were beautiful. I let go of their hair and started to stroke them slowly. Both of them moaning into each others mouths as I rolled the pre-cum around their heads and applied pressure. They opened their eyes in shock and looked at me smirking at my slickness. “That was fucking hot” I moaned.

Toms eyes flashed primal as he slapped me hard on my ass and Harrison twisted what he had inserted inside my ass just moments ago.”WOW” I cried out loud, it felt fucking amazing.     

Tom lifts me, adjusting my body on hands and knees between his legs. Then he caresses my face and holds me with his gaze in the space of a breathless moment. Tom isn’t a lover like Harrison, but Tom does love me. And in this moment I’m reminded of our first time, and the few times he’s softer in the bedroom, he’s vulnerable for me, only me. Seduction isn’t a kiss or a touch. It’s this. The mystery and intelligence in his eyes. Our connection it reinforces. The intoxication of feeling the depth of Toms emotions. He undresses our skin and strips us down to our souls until we’re bared to each other in every way, until his love fills me completely, it becomes the life force that pumps my heart. Then he blinks, breaking our spell and lowering his attention to my lips. “Open up, my tiny dancer.” he growls as he twists my hair in his hand on my head, he guides my mouth onto his waiting cock. Sliding past my lips, he sinks slowly, hot and heavy on my tongue, tasting so good. He pushes deep, deeper, and holds me on him as my throat relaxes around the fullness of him. I breathe through it, my thoughts drifting to Harrison right before he cups my breast and squeezes my pebbled nipple. I groan for more and lift my ass, spreading wider in inviting Haz to take me. On his knees behind me, he fits himself against my opening and rams, hard and mercilessly, inside me. FUCK! I feel that...the stretch, the savage burn as he pulls out and slams my pussy again. Harrison has never fucked me and DAMN, this change is erotic and shocking. I’m having an out of body experience thinking of the switch these two just pulled. Harrison gives me a few seconds to adjust. I hover my mouth over Tom’s cock, afraid I might bite him as I brace for the way Harrison fucks. With a sharp exhale, Harrison lets go, pounding deep against my core, fucking me hard, gripping my ass, twisting and pushing the toy in my ass, panting, and moaning my name something fierce. Tom sits up and shifts to his knees, same position Harrison is behind me. With a hand gripping my throat, he shoves himself into my mouth, thrusting slower than Harrison but no less hard. I suck him with everything I have while reaching up his chest toward his face. He clamps his fingers around mine, holding our hands against his heart. Then they fuck me, tugging at my hair and pinning my body between the force of their need. It’s carnal, filthy, perfect. Everything I imagined it would be. Harrison picks up the pace, holding tight to my hips as he pumps into me, over and over. Licking up and down Tom’s length, I stare up into fathomless eyes and melt beneath their scorching heat. My eyes glaze over and Tom tells me to cum on Harrisons cock as he slips out of my mouth. I scream out Harrisons name as he fucks me even harder. My arms give out from the power of the orgasm as I come down he stops and pulls out. “Be right back.” Harris says and leaves the bed. I turn my neck to watch him walk gloriously naked toward the bathroom.

Tom pushes my face back to his and pulls me up his chest. “Show me how perfect we fit together.” he says softly as he adjusts my legs to straddle his hips. I move without hesitation, positioning his cock and sliding down slowly, loving every long thick inch. His bigger cock is still a force I have to adjust to, but he lets me adjust, he’s being quiet and his rough hands touch me slowly as he waits to be all the way connected. I force my pussy to take him all in, feeling the stretch around his savage cock and the toy still in my ass, I feel fuller than I ever felt with this position. His mouth falls open silently, and his chin lifts, the veins in his neck stretching against his skin. I roll my hips slowly, and he groans, eyes closed as pleasure sweeps across his face. He’s fucking beautiful. I feel like I’m making love to him now for the first time he’s ever made love. Tom has forgotten his need for control and is lost on the way he feels inside me. I feel the tears prick my eyes when he opens his. “I love you y/n” he croaks with emotion as he wipes my face and kisses down my neck as I cum again “I love you too TomTom”

Harrison returns from the bathroom with a tube of something and pauses beside the bed, watching Tom move inside me, making love to me, more..me making love to him. My nerves creep in, coiling my stomach. Harrison won’t stop looking at us. I can’t deal. I press a hand against Tom’s hip and he slides out. The air shifts again and I push through my own thoughts

“Harrison?” I say trying not to over think this “We can stop. We don’t have to...” the panic rises.

“Lie back down angel” Harrison winks as he grips his hard cock and strokes it from root to tip.

He lays on the bed and pulls me gently on top of him adjusting my legs around him. I stair in his eyes and feel relief as he smiles. “I love you /n” he says kissing me quick. “I love you too Hazzi”

Tom clears his throat and I lift my eyes to his..oh shit..that look, that dark swirling storm is heading straight to my core. That's Toms look when he’s about to fuck me until I can’t be fucked anymore look.  “Ass in the air y/n” he commands showing me the tube labeled Back Door. My eyes go wide and Tom bites his lip before moving onto the bed with us. My heart hammers in my chest, both excited and scared. I knew we were going there..but..but is he going to take me there while Haz is inside me? We should have a conversation about this, but as Harrison rubs his head on my silky sex and pushes himself all the way in and pumps his hips slowly, Tom seems to be more interested in the conversation between that toy and my back door. His touch presses it in and swirles it in bigger circles as he adds more pressure, I shock myself with a loud moan, and I gulp down a breath when he removes it, leaving me shaking on Haz. I can’t breathe...did I just cum again? Shit, I did and they know it “You’re so fucking wet” Tom slides his thumb toward my pussy, gathering my sex and smearing it over my anus. “I don’t even need lube.” he says so sexy and dark “Yes, you do!” I glare at him over my shoulder and soften my voice. “I’ve never done this…” double penetration. My face reddens. I can’t even say it out loud. “Have either of you?”

Tom shakes his head no, eyes on his prize as he slips in a wet finger working slow past my fear. What else can he see down there? Harrisons cock stretching me open? His balls against me? “What about you?” I turn back to Harrison. “You’re my first and last” He holds my face with both hands, searching my eyes. My chest squeezes. If I could have one wish, it would be to wake up tomorrow to the sound of their hearts beating happily against mine. “Please, don’t regret this” My breaths quicken as the lubed crown of Toms cock nudges against me, seeking entry. “I would never regret being inside of you,” Harrison says “Me either y/n, now breathe, baby trust us” Tom leans over my back and trails kisses up my spine, his voice thick with hunger. “Push against me.” I let my lungs do what they’re supposed to do and crane my neck to check out the positioning. Harrisons legs are together behind me with Tom and me straddling his hips. They look comfortable…considering the circumstances. I turn back and press against Tom, without taking my eyes off Haz. Pressure ignites a dull ache in my back opening, stretching and filling. Tom sinks deeper with a hiss of self satisfaction, his fingers biting against my hips to stop his instinct to thrust hard into me. I know how long he’s wanted this. It doesn’t take long before the sting ripples into the most erotic pleasure I’ve felt.

Tom bears down with gentle, shallow strokes, shooting tingles through my sensitive tissues. It feels so damn good it’s almost too much. Too many sensations. Too much fullness. Harrisons eyes tell me he feels it, too. He brushes the hair from my face and traces his fingers down my neck, rocking against me in a hypnotic rhythm. They’re inside me. Both of them. Physically, and emotionally. The mattress beneath me disintegrates and time ceases to exist. I only feel. Them, us, joined in a way I never thought would happen and may never happen again. “How are you doing sexy girl?” Tom brushes his lips against my back. “I might die if you don’t move faster TomTom” I don’t have to ask twice. He rolls into a swift grind, sliding his cock in and out and matching the rhythm of Harrisons thrusts. Trembling and boneless I cum hard, I lean forward and rub my hands over the hard body beneath me. My hair falls around my face hiding the fact I don’t know whose name to scream out in bliss, it steals from my pleasure. Haz pulls me into him and his mouth sucks my breasts as Tom fucks me slowly, teasingly, like he doesn’t want to rush it. Focusing my attention on Harrison, I memorize the sharp angles of his clean-shaved face. Blonde messy hair, perfect nose, kissable lips, he’s beyond beautiful with his soulful blue eyes studying me the way I study him. “Are you good?” I pant breathlessly, gripping his shoulder against the next orgasm. “Trying not to cum.” he moaned, a muscle flexes in his cheek. “You need to hurry, baby” Tom hooks an arm around my waist and yanks me to a sitting position. With my back against Toms chest and my legs spread around Harrisons hips, my clit is exposed and throbbing. Tom presses a thumb against it, rubbing circles and applying precise, consistent pressure. My head falls back on his shoulder, his mouth at my ear, letting me feel every hot moaning gasp as he strokes his cock in and out of me. Then he grips my jaw and yanks my mouth to his. The kiss is hard, wild, and all-consuming. It’s more than I can handle. I plunge fast, breaking the kiss and screaming out. Powerful and violent, the orgasm rips through me as I scream both of their names, the pleasure splitting me open and moving me in a state of oblivion. Stars blot my vision as they grind their hips, speed up the pace, and join me. Panting breaths, moans of my name together from their lips, and fingers bruising my flesh, they cum together, apart, whatever they may be. It’s music to my ears. Unforgettable. A dream in the flesh. I collapse on Harrisons chest, light-headed and spent. Tom falls on his back beside me and drops a forearm across his eyes, breathing heavily past parted lips. Haz cradles my cheek with a warm palm and strokes his thumb across my mouth. I kiss it, grasp his wrist, and hold on. I don’t want this to end. I’m afraid of what comes next.

“I hope you didn’t do this for me…” I glance at Harrison and return to Tom. “Did you plan this?” “No” they say together. Harrison untangles his hand from mine and rolls us to our sides. “It wasn’t planned” My head jerks to Tom. Mr. control freak Holland just engaged in an impulsive, unintentional threesome? How very free spirited of him. Tom shifts to the edge of the bed and grabs his shirt from the floor. With a hand on my shoulder, he pushes me to my back and uses the shirt to clean between my legs. He does the same with himself and tosses it. Not once does he glance at Haz. Maybe I’m imagining it, but the awkwardness is already creeping in.

“When we got home tonight, you both seemed to be on the same page.” I rest my head on Harrison’s chest and hook a leg around Tom’s thigh as he lays back down, desperate to keep us joined. “But you didn’t talk about it beforehand?”

“Not exactly.” Harrison pets my hair, his breathing returning to normal.

“I made the decision in the car,” Tom says in an icy tone, at odds with the soothing way he caresses my thigh. “Same.” Harrison’s hand tightens in my hair. They didn’t even look at each other in the car. Did they have a telepathic conversation? I have so many questions, but if I start interrogating them, this delicate peace between us will evaporate. I lie still, absorbing the touch of fingers on my skin, the rasps of sated breaths, and thrum of love beating between us, knowing I’ll never find this with anyone but them. Too soon, Tom lifts my leg off his, sits up, and captures my gaze.

“This was a one time thing, y/n” His eyes turn to frozen glass. “It will never happen again.”

My breath hitches, and I feel attacked “I didn’t ask for it. In fact, when I opened my mouth, you told me to shut the fuck up” I say feeling more pissed than anything

“You didn’t have to ask for it.” He rises and strides toward the bathroom. “You wanted it.”

“Don’t do that to her,” Harrison shouts, launching off the bed. “This isn’t her fault!”

Tom closes the door behind him and locks it, freezing us out. Fault? There can only be fault if a mistake was made. The shower sounds behind the door, and my chest turns to ice. I cover my mouth to stop the quiver in my lips. Don’t you fucking cry! I tell myself. All the tears in the world won’t fix this. “How did this happen?” I ask, more to myself than to Harrison.

“That?” He points at the bathroom door and returns to the bed. “I don’t have time to list all his problems, but the one he suffers from the most begins with ass and ends with hole.”

“I’m serious, Harrison.” It feels like my heart is sinking into my stomach. Lying on his back, he pulls me into his arms and wraps the sheet around us. “Let it go.”

“No.” I snap my head up, glaring at him. “I can’t just…just let this go”

He returns my stare for a long moment before releasing a sigh. “I’m pretty sure he thought I was going to break your rule tonight”

“Were you?” I felt sick “it was meant as a joke. Tom took this to heart?”

“Yes.” He looks at me with unflinching eyes. “He knew he wouldn’t be able to stop me.”

“If you can’t beat them, join them,” I mumble sadly. “Or control them. He participated because he couldn’t fathom me making love to you without his almighty hand involved.”

I love Tom’s almighty hand and his control, but not at the risk of hurting him. “Did he tell you this?” I choked out trying to hold in my tears

“I know him, baby. Better than you do.” As I turn that over in my head, I kick myself for not being as perceptive as Harrison. If I’d known Tom wasn’t acting purely on passion, I would’ve stopped it from happening. Or at least tried to stop it more than I had. I have a hard time saying no to them when it comes to sex. It’s just not in my DNA. I bend, yield, surrender, and they shine in the power it gives them. That’s why we’re so good together. Braced on an elbow, I trace a finger along the ridges of his abs. “Did you want the threesome?”

“No.” His muscles tense beneath my touch. “I had to block him out of my mind the entire time, actually seeing the way he handled you so rough pissed me off, it made me want to claim you in front of him, which is why I fucked you like I never have or will again.” He runs a hand down the length of my spine. “I do agree with him on one point. I’ll never do this again.” he kisses my face

He doesn’t say that he regrets it, but it’s there in the creases around his mouth. It feels like a slap in the face. Maybe I’m just emotionally and physically drained, but I can’t hold the dam on my tears. They rise fast, spilling down my cheeks, but I keep the sounds trapped beneath rapid swallows. “Why did you do it?” I whisper. “Because I love you. I want you to be happy.”

“I don’t understand why you want anything to do with me. I’m a mess.” I say sitting up

“I’ll take you messy and crying and in love with Tom in his asshole state, over not having you.” He hugs me against his chest and rests his lips on my head. “Besides, we offered the BOTH of us TO you on that island and promised forever, I’m not breaking that promise,ever angel”

“Either am I y/n” Tom says soft from the bathroom door before he walks over to us. His eyes look at Harrison first than to me “I’m sorry, I’m a selfish asshole with you y/n and I’m sorry that I treated you the way I did Harrison, I’d never trade our life together for anything. Please forgive me” he asks looking up as the tears fell from his face. My heart ached for him.

I look at Harrison and we both knew this much...Tom don’t use the words I’m sorry unless he really feels he was horribly wrong about something and Tom don’t cry unless he’s hurting.

“I forgive you mate, we both know how protective you are over her, just don’t ever take your hot temper out on y/n like that again, I will protect her too Tom” Haz smiled pulling Tom into me and me into him. We laid just like that as we drifted to sleep, a few bumps didn’t destroy us.

   We made plans to get away from life and spend two weeks traveling by ourselves. We were packing the last of our bags when Toms and Harrisons phones started to ring at the same time. Tom hit the answer button and Harrison followed him inside with a look of concern as he held me close. Tom scribbled some notes down and what look like cordiance to a location and showed it Haz. I watched as Harrisons eyes went wide in disbelief. Tom was beyond excited as he paced back and forth wanting off the phone but still needed to hear whatever they had to say.

“Fuck yes, I’ll be there by sun rise tomorrow, get the team ready and no, Haz is staying here” Tom said holding his hand out to stop Haz as he protested it was too dangerous. My eyes flicked back and forth between them. Tom could only endure so much before he shut the conversation down “We are wasting time, I’m on the way see you in 20” Tom slipped his phone in his pocket and came over to where I had sat on the couch watching this unfold.

“Starling, I’m sorry to have to leave right now but trust me, it’s for the best” he said with kind eyes as he kissed my hands. I felt the wave of nausea hit me. But I swallowed it down.

“Haz will be here to keep you safe y/n and I’ll be back in time to go on holiday as planned, we will just push it back a little, yeah?” he half smiled kissing my frown.

“Tom it’s way too dangerous for you to go alone, no way are you taking down number three without..”Harrison was cut off as Tom stood abruptly in his face.

“She is our number one Harrison, you will stay with her and it’s final. I’m not going alone mate, it’s you who will be alone with her, so keep your head straight and keep yourselves safe.” Tom looked Harrison in the eyes and from my point of view Haz was not happy but understood. He nodded at Tom and hugged him in a tight grip.

Tom rushed out of the room and returned with too many black bags to count. Haz helped him carry them to a car I hadn’t even notice pull up. Tuwaine got out and hugged me as the world started to spin and reality came into my vision and formed words.

“Number three, isn’t that the leaders brother?” I said with widening eyes. Tom held my face and struggled to stop his racing thoughts to try and focus on my fear. I had forgotten my training in the face of this. “Tom, don’t..don’t” I begged starting to see this in the worst of ways. My gut was screaming at me and that instinct has never failed me.

“Y/N, shh baby don't do this, I will be fine and back before you can miss me” he kissed my forehead and held me tight. “Haz will keep you safe for me and trust me I won’t let him have you to himself too long” he smiled kissing my lips. He locked his eyes with mine

“Promise me then Tom, promise me you’ll be back soon if your so sure” I said feeling sicker

“I promise Starling, and have I ever broken a promise?” he winked at me. I choked out no as he wiped my tears.”Then you have to trust me on this, both of you” he said looking at Haz as he stood next to me and Tom put my hand on his heart “I love you y/n, I’ll always come home to you, just like I have been baby” he was waiting on me to give the okay.

“I love you TomTom” I said kissing his lips quick and he turned to go. He was on high alert and I know calling him that would offset his focus and I wanted to do it. I wanted him to remember this promise. As the car left the driveway and sped down the street I couldn’t hold it in anymore and vomited my guts out. Haz held my hair and rubbed my back as I let my emotions and my breakfast go in our flower bed.            

I spent the first two days and nights in bed not feeling so good. Haz stayed at my side and just laid around with me. I wasn't sure if it was a bug or just nerves from the fear of what Tom was facing on his own but I hated that this was going to be the longest time I had to go without talking or seeing Tom. This mission was the deadliest they have ever taken on and the fact he was out there without Harrison was not settling with my soul. By the third day I felt good enough to eat something and let Harrison and Z take me out to the movies. Everything was fine until we walked up to concessions and the smell of popcorn made me instantly hurl, I was lucky to have made it to the garbage can. Haz looked terrified as Z yelled at him for not taking me to the doctors. I just grabbed the edge of it trying not to pass out. Z rubbed my back and wiped my   face with cool napkins as Haz got the car pulled around to the doors. I made it safe to the back seat before I fainted.

When I woke up I was blinded by bright lights and closed my eyes again. I could hear beeps and quiet noises all around me as Harrison held my hand loosley. I slowly adjusted my eyes to look at where I was. I froze in place and gave Harrisons hand a tight squeeze to wake him as I started to panic at the fact I was in a hospital bed in what sounded like the ER. I hadn’t been in a hospital since the night my mother had died, it quickly brought back feelings I wanted to never feel again. My heart monitor started to beep faster as Harrison stirred from his half sleepy state. He was slumped over in a chair, his blonde head on the bed next to me, he started to smile as he opened his eyes. Then he noticed the alarm in my expression and stood up to calm me.

“Shh y/n, it’s okay, everything is okay, you are...hum..dehydrated from all that vomiting you’ve been doing, they are just keeping you here for a few to get fluids into your body and now that you’re awake, they want to run one test” he said looking into my eyes and away again as I picked up on his half truth, what was he not telling me? I pulled his worried face back to me.

“Hazzi, what kind of test? What are they looking for that I need to be awake?” I asked slowly

He shook his head and his face flushed red as he let out a small laugh meeting my eyes

“Your pregnant angel, and they want to do an ultrasound to see how far along you are”

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[imaginemycroftholmes]

Imagine you are annoying Mycroft with all the ridiculous nicknames you know, just because his reaction is always too cute.

“Hey Pumpkin pop, can you hand me that stack of paper work on the counter on your way back to the couch?”

Mycroft sighs for what must be the millionth time as he reaches for the mentioned papers and dutifully brings the items for his girlfriend’s perusal. It had started after the one year anniversary.

Everything had been prefect; the dinner had been exquisite, the location classy, and Sherlock was far, far away in a different country where he couldn’t cause any distress to the wait staff, him or his girlfriend.

They were leaving the restaurant with ______ nicely cozied up on his arm toward the car when she said, “Tonight was just so wonderful Mikey.”Mycroft couldn’t help but cringe at the old moniker.

Unfortunately, his girlfriend was hardly any goldfish and noticed the movement instantly.

“Is something wrong?” she asked clutching his arm a bit more forceful to bring him closer.

“Of course not my dear,” Mycroft says in a weak tactic to deflect and get _____ into the waiting car, “But the evening isn’t over with yet. We still have a play to catch.”

______ allows Mycroft to maneuver her into the car but she still persists.“No, there’s definitely something wrong for you to freeze up like that,” _____ insists scooting closer in the back seat, “Was it because I called you Mikey?”

Mycroft can control his external shudder at the nickname but only slightly. No sense in avoiding the inevitable, Mycroft thinks preparing to recount his less than golden formative years.

“As a young man with an unusual name I was the victim of many unflattering pseudonyms through most of my entire academic career,” Mycroft elaborated as his driver Mrs. Antione expertly weaved in and out of traffic at a smooth pace.

“There are even few still that feel brave enough to give me nicknames however, they know better than to say them very far away from my back lest the summon the beast,” he added with a dark chuckle that sent _____’s eyes wide in both pity and arousal.

“The beast?” she questioned a bit husky. Obviously the wine had gotten to ____ in one of the most delightful moods.

“Oh yes, ____, I can very much be a beast when there is suitable prey,” Mycroft intones with his hand purposefully placed higher and firmer on her thigh. They did end up late to the play but it had been a very productive evening in the backseat.

Mycroft thought he wouldn’t hear another nickname again until the next morning he was greeted with a sleepy ‘morning baby.’

It made him fluster in confusion to the point where Mycroft almost started to argue that he was definitely not an infant (Mycroft was willing to admit he wasn’t at 100% in the mornings) until he realized this was just another label ____ was trying on him.

Grabbing a very intimate part of _____’s anatomy and expertly moving within it Mycroft questioned, “Would a baby be able to do this to you?” and the rest of the conversation was forgotten between the sheets but not for long.

“Hey MyMy, what do you think of this dress?”“Loverboy what do you want to have for lunch?”“Over here pudding.”“Crofty, is this on the floor for a reason?”“How about you move a bit closer Mr. Bum.”“Where’s my cuddlebug?”“Looking good Hotpants!”“I love you too darling.”“Yo sexy, when are we going to bang tonight?”“Where you think you’re going daddy?”

To be honest Mycroft had no issue with the last three but these ridiculous nicknames had to stop.

“_______, these attempts to saddle me with pet names has gone on long enough,” Mycroft declares on the night that _____ decided to dub him as ‘sugar booger’ while watching reruns on the loveseat.

_______ the minx could only offer him a smile as she was still giggling from recalling his most recent reaction.  

“I understand that you find it funny but the jest has gone on long enough,” he continues only pause when ______ slides in closer.

“Mycroft, I wasn’t trying to make fun of you,” ______ explains rubbing his side, “I was only trying to find one that you’d like.”

“So you’re saying you took no enjoyment of my facial features as you continued to use such horrific nicknames?” Mycroft asked his girlfriend whose hand was distractingly heading further down his side to more interesting places.  

“To be fair you have a very attractive face Myc,” she countered still not giving up the ghost.

She looked a bit worried as she quickly followed up with, “Was that one okay?” _____’s hand stilling from very pleasant ministrations that had Mycroft internally groaning.

Mycroft pressed a kiss to her brow. “Definitely a step up from sugar booger,” he replies with much relief as ___’s hand starts to pick up where it left off.

“How about I call you ‘mine’ instead?” _____ suggests moving onto his lap.

“As long as I can do the same to you I don’t see why not,” Mycroft punctuates with a kiss.