#i don't even necessarily mean this in a romantic context

[difeisheng]

the revenge of the sith novelization is a gem for many reasons but among them is how mr. matthew stover introduces obi-wan and his relationship with anakin like this:

and then just. ends it like this:

best friend? uh, okay. sure. cool cool.

[cerastes]

What's your take on MumuDoc in Lonetrail?

Muelsyse in Lone Trail felt, in many ways, like seeing someone diving in a pool, and at first, you're not alarmed. They know how to swim. You don't really think much of it. But then a minute passes, and they are still underwater. Concern sinks in, and you make your way to the pool, and as you're about to jump in, their head surfaces, they are back up. They cough, they tough it out, and are a bit nervous about diving again, but you're going in the pool with them now, and they feel more at ease.

Take this, intensify it a hundredfold, stretch it a hundredfold, and scrutinize it a hundredfold, and you end up with Muelsyse, in her barest form, like a diamond born from a chunk of charcoal that had too much pressure put on it.

I can see Muelsyse's dynamic with Doctor being romantic. I can see Muelsyse's dynamic with Doctor not being romantic. Both are fine interpretations, if you ask me, I mean, her theme song is very much a love song, and at the same time, she feels desperate to find anyone who can just... Empathize in even the slightest of ways to her. Either read is fine, outright discounting either feels a tad disingenuous.

Alienation. Complete and utter alienation, an edge sharper and more injurious than isolation. This is, if you ask me, the main theme surrounding the Rhine Lab arc and cast.

Saria is alienated. She cannot find common ground with anyone else around her for the longest time. She used to have a shared dream with Kristen, but that bridge has burned and frozen and turned to ash all over. Kristen is alienated. She simply cannot see a point to anything except that obsessive doggedly persistent dream of hers, and it has been weighted more important than her humanity. Joyce is alienated. Forever a partial prisoner in her own head, there are few and far between that will ever put up with the unique intricacies of having to deal with someone that talks like her, has sudden Oripathy attacks like her, and falls asleep on the spot seemingly at random like her, fully cognizant of how high maintenance she can be on others. Ho'olheyak is alienated. On borrowed time, without kin or friend to call her own, living for a transcending mission far bigger than her and so, so small in the overarching beats of a world that can't be bothered to stop for her. Silence. Ifrit. Dorothy. Tin Man. I could go on. Alienated, all of them. Not isolated, because isolation would imply the lack of physical company. This is far colder, far darker. It's alienation. It's seeing the other side of the cliff, and no possibility of a bridge to connect it to your end of the cliff. Isolation stings, it's a pain you know is there. Alienation drowns, because you can see the surface, but you are convinced you'll never make it there, and it's a hundredfold worse.

Muelsyse is no different. Muelsyse is alienated, and goodness she has tried and tried and tried, she swims so, so hard to reach the surface, but she can't reach it. Being in Rhine Labs necessarily means you need to resort to some cutthroat cloak and dagger, it becomes routine, all for an ultimate goal, but is that ultimate goal even possible? With every step taken by Muelsyse, it seems two new steps materialized at the end of the staircase. Everyone she's met, for years now, has either been someone looking to use her, or someone she can use for her own advantage. Usually simultaneously. And it's in this context, when the 9 to 5 becomes tricking, blackmailing, snuffing and silencing that by chance, she comes across someone, possibly the sole person, that can actually understand the sheer weight on her shoulders: Doctor, someone who doesn't own their own past, but is shackled by it, someone who has no one to relate to, someone surrounded by sufficiently similar but ultimately infinitely different people to themselves, someone who by all means should be drowning in the same pool as her, but somehow, this person reached the surface. It's very easy to see why she'd become so utterly fascinated by this person, who shares many similarities with her, and yet, who seemingly has it so good, has it so sweet. It could have easily been jealousy, but end of the day, Muelsyse IS a sweet person. Yeah, she plays it up, always so cheerful and whimsical, but end of the day, Muelsyse is playing up something that is already there in the first place. Instead of jealousy, it brought her happiness, because maybe, just maybe, she could enjoy a bit of that je ne sais quoi that Doctor seems to have in spades and she is completely bankrupt of.

The first interactions between Muelsyse and Doctor are telling of this overwhelming rush of emotion: Muelsyse less talks with Doctor and more talks at them. She vomits words, emotion, whimsy, as if trying to put these emotions into words and actions after so long, emotions that was ready to never need to put into words in the first place. It eventually becomes a dialogue between two parties, but Muelsyse's interactions with Doctor are initially extremely one-sided, and they remain one-sided to some degree even moving forward. It was heartwrenching to me, honestly, to see the sheer joy Muelsyse radiated while around Doctor, because that is an almost manic amount of joy simply from possibly finding someone that gets it. Muelsyse has not had a bridge in so, so long, and suddenly, the finds someone that not only resembles her a lot, but also seems to have bridges in spades. Muelsyse and Doctor's dynamic should never be considered in a vacuum just between the two of them: One of the first things Muelsyse saw with her own eyes was that Doctor had a pretty friendly relationship, mutual respect included, with Saria. That, is immediately very telling of Doctor, given that Muelsyse understands exactly how difficult that is. We also know Muelsyse sneaks around Rhodes Island and chats with Ifrit now and then, and Ifrit also expressly has a very high opinion of Doctor. It simply makes sense that Muelsyse would feel as enthusiastic about her Dorothy's Vision brush with Doc, and all that Lone Trail entailed: It's terribly sad, because they don't even know each other, and even then, it's the shiniest ray of hope for herself that Muelsyse has had the chance to bask in: Doctor's essence, Doctor's existence, in and of itself, is a massive beacon of hope for Muelsyse.

And it's so damn sad, that this perfect stranger is the most familiar comrade she'll ever find.

Is this romantic love? Hell, the molotov cocktail of emotions involved might as well be, either now or in potentially in the future. Is it something unhealthily dependent? Yeah... Yeah. It might just be the euphoria of knowing that she can reach the surface, after all, that bridges, too, are possible for her to have, with not underlying motive, with no ulterior motive, without needing to offer something or to extract something. To put in the most basic of terms, Doctor, to Muelsyse, might as well represent the very first person in who knows how long that she can relate to at all. It is an immensely sad emotional starvation, and she finally found something to sink her teeth onto.

This is personal, but the way Muelsyse struck me, it felt to me that when she had even the barest of handles on Doctor, she related to someone for the first time in forever, and it shook her to her very core. It may have been the first time she saw, in someone else, a potentially happy Muelsyse.

It's extremely bittersweet. If you've ever dealt with alienation, think back on the first time you found someone who truly "got you". Add to that the fact that her routine of interacting with people had become to see others as tools, and to always be on the lookout for those wishing to use and expend you as a tool. Then, add to that that there are definitely more Elves, but Muelsyse is so fundamentally different to them that the sheer differences in temperament and culture make it so it's impossible for her to relate to them anyway. What could be lonelier than that? It's called Lone Trail for a reason, because alienation is a main theme for all of these people.

In finding the sole person that could possibly relate to her in circumstance and temperament, it's easy to see where Muelsyse's interest in Doctor comes from. Whether you interpret it as romantic or otherwise, it can't be denied that this immensely strong interest exists. It comes from finally seeing a way to reach the surface after the world told her for decades that she simply could only drown. Because Doctor is the only other person that could understand her in being the last of their race and in having no past and maybe even no future, and yet, Doctor having so many bridges, while she has none. I think Muelsyse craves companionship, not necessarily romantic, from Doctor, and, this is important, also wants to have what they have, and be part of it, of so many bridges built without ulterior motives.

[stay-tiny-ville]

Hwang Hyunjin

Summary ~ lovely boy :( (Or dating head cannons for Hwang Hyunjin)

A.N. - ONE MORE TO GO WHOOOOOOO

A.N. 2 - if my describing of your relationship growing up didn’t make sense I’m sorry I don’t know how to word it 😭😭😭

———————————————————

Muse, love, beautiful, dove, love, angel, Cara Mia, mon Cher are a few names he’d give you def a lot of “my love”s in another language

Ive heard some mixed opinions (well not that many but a couple) saying that he would be reserved and only lovey behind closed doors

However i argue the opposite and agree with the positions on him being a true hopeless romantic at heart

Tall boy loves holding you as you sleep

Obviously wakes before you (Probably) with his horrendous schedule and just has a true “this is life, and i am living and loving being alive” moment when he just gets to look at you all peaceful and beautiful in his arms

Covers the corners of things with his hand so you don’t hit your head

Stfu he would paint you

Your hands, your face, you two together, or he would take a stab at paintings that are simply based on the memory/emotion but not paint the memory (like he would do that thing where people can see sounds and he would try to imagine your laugh and paint it-i'll die on this hill)

Taught you how to waltz anD DANCES WITH YOU ON THE BACK PORCH UNDER THE MOONLIGHT SOB

So dramatic like will burst into tears if he gets a paper cut or stubs a toe (i mean yeah it hurts but he’s dYING)

Unlike some of the members like Chan, he’s always with you, like you’re never alone and if he’s at rehearsals? Oh look, you’re here too. Meeting with JYP? Oh, can you come in too? He’s going shopping? He’s at the red carpet for versace? He’s-

You get it

Spiritually and physically attached

Spins you all the time

Context: every single time you come out of the bedroom after getting ready to go out or simply just coming out of the room he takes your right hand with his right hand and twirls you into his side before a required temple kissy and moves on/out the door

Required ritual or the world ends

I imagine you two as childhood best friends (yes, THAT trope) and i don’t necessarily think of it as one of you had a crush on each other as you grew up, you just grew up together in love as if it’s what you were taught to do

When you went to school and learned about the different types of emotions or had the healthy relationship talk you didn't think anything of it

I didn't know what love felt like until I turned 18 and you thought this adoration was a normal feeling

Until your friends talked about their lives and you realized most people don't have a bond like you do, most people don't feel like you do about your soulmate Jinnie

You didn't feel this way about the crushes you’ve had previously

Normal people don’t always put their one friend before everybody else

Either you went straight to Hyunjin and talked about it because you could talk to him about anything or not, he would realize the same thing, i can’t say if it was slower or faster than you, it depends i suppose

But i imagine the transition was just from the average hugs and hand holding and kisses on the forehead that were just normal things with no thought behind them became ones with love behind them

Puts you before himself

You’re cold means trade cold for his jacket he will suffer instead

You’re sick he’ll sacrifice his health to cuddle and coddle you all day long

You haven’t been eating well/at all he’ll give you his food after rehearsals

Lays his head on your chest

He’s baby :(

SLEEP ON YOUR CHEST AAAAAAAH

Like I haven’t thought about who cuddles how and who is big or little spoon but Hyunjin loves to just lay on your chest or lap

HES BABY

Please he’s dress you up in rich ass clothes even if it looks putrid together

The softest with you when you’re upset :(

Like you’d just not be doing too good be it sad or bad day and he could tell because you weren’t responding as energetically to his jokes and funny haha’s (please that autocorrected to Gaga’s) and his smile turns into a frown and he’d stop you from walking away by grabbing your shoulder that was farthest from him and turned you to look at him

When you kept your head low he ducked to meet your eyes and the sadness/tiredness in the made him sad :(

Takes care of you all day and sits with you on the floor in front of the couch on the fuzzy (I imagine white faux fur bc he’s bougie) rug

You sit in his lap facing him while his back is against the couch and he doesn’t break eye contact to let you know he’s listening so whenever you look back up at him from messing with his clothes he’s looking right at you

Please he’s so baby I could write so much more about hopeless romantic baby Hyunjin

ASO RQ I AM FOREVER OBSESSED WITH BOTH RED HAIR HYUNJIN (which is a trade of passage for Stays at this point) AND MAXIDENT TASTE (which is such a banger I will die on this hill again) SHORT BLUE HYUNJIN HAIR AAAAAAAH

N e ways he’s baby and so so lovely I love

[sailorblossoms]

Simon "not feeling anything"

“It was fine, it was sex” is one of those lines I keep coming back to because what does that mean. Even removed from context, in a scale of things that are supposed to be mind-blowingly fantastic or, at the very least, actually good, just "fine" will be perceived as negative. If you prepare someone a meal and they say "it was fine, it was food," you're probably going to think they didn't like it. If someone went out to pick a dress for a special occasion, and they go "it was fine, it was a dress" about the dress they picked... if you don't think they fucking hated that dress, you're likely assuming that person doesn't care about dresses at all. Like, dresses do not cause positive emotions at all. Picking a dress feels like nothing, perhaps. Maybe it's even it's even boring as hell.

A big component of that line is that it sounds dismissive, even more so because it comes with a Simon who is trying to change the subject. He would very much rather not talk and think about this at all (his final word on the matter is a dismissal as well – "it doesn't matter" – which comes in the context of highlighting the difference when you actually want it... "this is how it feels like when you're in love and turned on and so I actually want to do it, whatever works between Baz and me, as opposed to that other time when it wasn't like this and it was the opposite"). But there's something else I want to highlight here...

Fine, in the context of negative things, might not necessarily be seen as positive, but as something that you can handle.

In that sense, maybe it was "fine." In a fucked up way, maybe it was something that could be handled because it felt like nothing. (If this is something impossible for you to imagine, I invite you to look up conversations of real people who fall somewhere in the acespectrum sharing things in the vein of "I tried sex to see what all the buzz was about and it felt like literally nothing. Like washing my car: a tedious exercise. Maybe we're wired differently" – it's obviously not literally nothing, you can very much feel if something or someone touches you, but maybe you get the idea of what I'm trying to say.)

Simon has completely convinced himself that not feeling anything is fine – it's part of why his feelings for Baz are so difficult, and not just when it comes to deciphering them... having them at all is difficult. It's so much. The lack of feelings is what he liked about dating Agatha, after all. Having different interpretations is obviously alright, my own interpretations are richer after seeing others point out things that made me see things I didn’t notice (or saying things that sound wrong and interrogating “why does reading this make me feel like I just licked a goddamn lemon”) but sometimes, somethings are just missing the point. The point is that Simon doesn’t have those feelings for Agatha. If he had been attracted to her, he would have experienced certain feelings he would need to negotiate with. But he never had to do that – he's thrown into the reality of his feelings for Baz with no map, no guidelines, no clue of what do with himself at all. His attraction for Baz throws him into uncharted territory, not just in terms of intensity, but in terms of feeling anything of that nature at all. That doesn't fit into Simon's fucked up idea of "fine." Baz notes Simon goes from 0 to 100, without realizing how much that truly applies. (I'm sure I have other posts that are basically: before discovering he loves and wants Baz, Simon's only intense emotion that he's familiar with is anger, and it would be easy to mix up that heat with attraction to Baz, with whom he's constantly picking fights with, seeking his attention...)

Part of the point is that Baz is the first time he’s dealing with what attraction and romantic love truly feel like, and on top of that, is intense as hell. It's The Love. The Attraction of a lifetime – of many lives, even. Of all of them. If Simon ever had such feelings for Agatha, she would never have felt safe. I don't think people truly realize that when they speculate "there must have been the flames of something" between them at some point. If she had awakened those things at such a precarious and controlled part of Simon's life – we can't ignore how much his emotions had an effect on his crazy magic – it would not have been "fine." She wouldn’t have been an armor, for him ("if you’re as beautiful as her" — not only conforming but standing out in terms of beauty standards is a form of “standing out” in "the right way," of being aspiration — you are untouchable — the opposite of being neglected or rejected for someone as him). "She's the type of person a boy like me is supposed to want" wouldn't have been safe by itself if she also made him feel like exploding (his attraction for Baz, when Simon tries to act on it, feels like going off).

For the record, Simon's "fine" is not the good type of fine. It's not the type of "fine" that makes you sigh in relief. This is a guy who could get shot and say "I'm fine" while bleeding out. And that's just the thing. Simon "not feeling” is necessary so he can live according to others like he does, but it’s not that he doesn’t actually feel anything. He's not made of stone. But he represses his actual feelings, even without realizing (sometimes he's not repressed he can't even identify the thing being repressed, it's just hidden away somewhere... until he can) and seeks situations that don’t awaken anything in him. It's what's more comfortable... and you have to keep in mind this is someone who's used to be uncomfortable. Discomfort is familiar. It's "fine." Being in situations he doesn't actually want to be is "fine" because he can't even identify his own wants. It's not even a factor.

But it's not really fine in the good sense of the word. If it was, he wouldn't self-harm through that conversation, for once (using physical pain to distract himself from the internal discomfort – external discomfort feels good in comparison). It's not "fine" to date someone long-term when you don't feel anything (other than friendship, very tellingly) for them. It doesn't "save you" from feelings, it just makes you sad.

Since Simon avoids processing, he lacks vocabulary to describe what’s happening. Not thinking about what he wants also means he doesn’t question what he doesn’t want... and even if it doesn't seem like a big deal, doing unwanted things still has effects, even if you avoid processing them (I'm sure I wrote that post so I'm not going to elaborate here but I''ll say: associating sex with pressure, not pleasure – only food is associated with pleasure before Simon has sex with Baz – is one such effect). “It was just going through the motions” is Penny’s vocabulary. It's something she says to Simon when he's still not ready to process that everything he believes to be just "fine" it's not. The way he's been living up to that point (according to what everyone expects of him, following a map, not ever making choices about anything ever outside of battles and stalking Baz – Simon's only "me time" is about Baz) is not fine. If you make a list of every moment Simon acts genuinely, truly happy on the page? Most of them are about him being close to Baz. Kissing Baz, touching Baz, taking to Baz. Making choices about how to live his life (by itself unfamiliar, and does not feel "fine").

Sex with Baz is not fine. And it's not just because it's better than fine on a scale of "was it good?" (even acknowledging something like "I had sex and it wasn't good" it's feeling something – negative feelings are also not fine if the full force of them are processed, they're only fine if they can be pushed aside and repressed). It's not fine because it makes Simon feel so much, and after being so used to nothingness, it's a complete shock to his system. It's going from 0 to 100. It's bigger than magic – even the one he had (and back then, releasing his magic was the only type of release he knew... it's no wonder that another type of release would be so difficult, after all, the only type of release he's used to is destructive... but that's another post, too)

[aha-chuu]

Kaveh's Drip Marketing

I have a lot to say about the connections between the Kaveh info that released today and Alhaitham (and what we know about their relationship with each other). I'm not looking at this in a romantic way necessarily, but just in how tightly knotted their characters are with one another.

First, Kaveh's title and description:

"Empyrean Reflection", or more simply, 'Heavenly Reflection'. This ties to his constellation, "Paeadisaea", which is the genus for the birds of paradise. 'Paradise' is a more general term for Heaven, but neither of these are particularly divine in nature in a deity sense. Personally, I think they might be denoting a reference to the Golden Ratio, AKA: Divine Proportion. It's a mathematic concept often used in artistry, which matches well with Kaveh's archectural design profession and his education from the Ksharewar Darshan, which is the Sumeru school of technology.

So that's what it means for Kaveh's own characterisation/lore imo, but it also links to Alhaitham. Firstly, Alhaitham's constellation is also a bird (Vultur Volans, or essentially 'vulture' even though his name means hawk), which is a nice match to Kaveh's birds of paradise. But more interestingly, this is what Alhaitham's Character Story 4 has to say about why he lets Kaveh live with him:

He views Kaveh as a "mirror". What is Kaveh's title again? "Empyrean Reflection".

And the mirroring is all over the place. Here's a section from Alhaitham's drip marketing from December:

He is

Largely unknown

Only puts in the minimum effort required to do his job

People don't pay attention to him

In contrast, here is a corresponding section that came out with Kaveh's drip today:

He is

Extremely well known

Incredibly hardworking

People pay attention to him even when he isn't asking for it, as a by-product of his career

Basically exact opposites; complete mirrors. Here's something else, first from the end of Alhaitham's description and then second from the end of Kaveh's:

Alhaitham's life is super comfortable, ideal in every way he desires. Meanwhile Kaveh is practically crippled by anxiety, made uncomfortable by his life circumstances. The wording itself is mirrored!

Ofc, Kaveh and Alhaitham provide one another's corresponding quotes in the drip marketing. Here is what Kaveh has to say about Alhaitham:

This is an amusing quote, basically a backhanded compliment of "oh he's very smart but he's too self-centred so his talents are made worthless since he never uses them to help others". Alhaitham's quote about Kaveh goes like this:

Alhaitham is a little more wordy so I'll simplify -

Talented people have a lot of outside pressure on them, which can be a burden

However, letting other people get you down is a character flaw, not an inherent part of being talented

Kaveh disagrees

Once again talking about an individual's talents and how worthwhile they are in the context of a society. Where Kaveh complains that Alhaitham can never accomplish anything worthwhile with his skills because he doesn't take other people into account, Alhaitham argues that Kaveh gets nothing done as a consequence of listening too much to other people's expectations. It's not surprising, then, that Kaveh is bankrupt but successful and Alhaitham is comfortable but unknown.

It's like - can these two stop talking about each other for five minutes? Anyway, this post turned out to be more of a collection of Kavetham quotes, but I think it's hard not to draw comparisons. I'm looking forward to seeing Kaveh's actual voicelines if there's this much material just from one marketing post lol

[owlphibiansprite]

the moment i started shipping kabumisu (spoilers ahead for chapters 45-62)

okay. this is gonna be a long one.

you'd think i'd be reasonable and start shipping these two characters from the moment they spend time alone in the dungeon, right? wrong. like the unreasonable guy i am, i saw them both placed a certain way and my brain went "shipped." let me explain.

chapter 45. this is the first time they interact. i wasn't thinking much at this point, but i just wanted to point out this frame because it looks damn cool (and i wanna maybe trace it on paper)

chapter 54 mithrun notices kabru has skill for the first time. at this point i didn't think much more than "oh he's looking at him."

kabru notices mithrun (or maybe he's just shocked about the water; i decided nonetheless to add this.) not much to report yet either on my personal feelings at this point.

and then this happens. first off i was thinking about kabru saving others without thinking but that's another subject. then i saw mithrun was LEANING BACK on kabru whilst between his legs and the gentle way he held his wrist for support i was like huh??! am i supposed to be getting homoerotic subtext from this? i was... intrigued. a little ship bell went off in my head, but there was no ripeness to it yet. not ready to be plucked.

like look at this in closeup please

then can we get this whole ass frame. where we clearly see how close they are physically. from that point on i thought "lol if this goes on i might crackship them haha blush" i mean their body position makes them look like they could be on a casual date (hands on thighs hands on thighs hands-)

and then THIS pat pat head yes good boy smart boy i see how you have excellent perception skills, let us work together to fight this monster do what i say now also just situationally i was kinda awed because not a moment ago they were kinda distrustful on edge but here immediately mithrun makes a plan involving kabru (no, not the other elves, but kabru) to take down the monster together & puts trust in him & idk i think two characters fighting together always feels intimate to me in a way (not necessarily romantic or anything); like characters are familiar with each other

"pat"

chapter 55 nothing special but i like the way they look at each other here even if there is no romantic or erotic tension or anything. maybe i just like the art of this.

i mean i know they're on a pillar but look at how close they are

just look at the way mithrun is being held and tell me that if taken out of context these images don't scream homoeroticism. and yes, this is the moment i decided to ship them.

(again, taken out of context) mithrun looks like the husband silently threatening whoever kabru is arguing with

and now this. this. look at this beautiful piece of art. look at how falin holds sissel(thistle). there is tenderness in that grip; protection. then above them you see kabru's self-protection in holding mithrun hostage yet the picture as a whole immediately made me think of "the lovers" archetype. duality. being held. idk. but seeing this was powerful.

mithrun tries to free himself from kabru's grip, the way he is held is constricing. yet if you changed the way you look at it, it could be perceived as holding on to a lover for dear life as you both tumble to your death. is that what the mangaka intended?? i am not one to usually read much into symbolism or stuff if i'm just casually reading - and i certainly don't know anything about art or literary symbolism - but all these thoughts immediately sprung out to me. these panels made me feel something so intense. (exquisite art, really!!)

so this is how i started shipping kabumisu. once i got to chapter 61 and realised "oh DAMN they will actually be spending one-on-one time together?" i was pleasantly surprised and knew i would not be alone in shipping them.

that is all :3 thank you for reading if you got this far!

[tetitous]

Okay, Yugo and queerness in Wakfu, part 2

Part 1 , for those who may have missed it

Are we back? We good? Okay then let’s talk about Yugo’s crushes, oki?

Yugo’s attraction: beyond Amalia:

This section has proven to be a little harder to write, because I wasn't certain on where to start.

Well let's start with the obvious: Yugo is attracted to women, he even married one.

But attraction to one gender doesn't mean the absence of attraction to another, and it doesn't necessarily mean that you're alloromantic/sexual (allo- being the prefix for the normalized sense of attraction, like cis- for gender), it all exists within a wide spectrum, after all.

Since I want to discuss the ways in which Yugo is queer, but I don't really care to assign to him any specific labels, I am going with elements that seems to indicate queerness in degrees of attraction, and towards whom that attraction is directed. I also decided to add moments that can be read into a homoerotic context but don't necessarily reflect Yugo's feelings on the matter, because these kind of scenes turn into grounds for shipping a lot of the time, and my goal is also to prove that shippers do have grounds for pairing Yugo with characters that aren't Amalia, or even girls for that matter.

Yugo’s relationship with romance and sexuality:

It’s actually not that easy to tell when Yugo is crushing on someone. One part of that may be that his dysphoria actually blocked his own ability to be certain of the way he feels about others, so bothered that he was with himself. But also, in the first 2 seasons Yugo is still a very young tween. Romantic attraction may happen, but if puberty hasn’t kicked in yet? Physical attraction won’t hit as hard.

Yugo struggled with his feelings for Amalia partially because of these 2 facts, plus the fact he has known her and felt that way about her for so long he might not even have had an “oh” moment.

“I’m not sure if it’s love.” about his s3 drama with Amalia

If you decide to take into account an aroace or bi reading, his lack of certainty makes even more sense: how can you tell you are attracted to someone when you don’t feel attraction in a conventional way, or when societal expectations tell you you should only feel that way for one type of people but not another?

Another good point towards Yugo not quite getting attraction as a kid, in s2ep12 he gets told about the story between Kriss la Krass and Maud, the “Masked Boufbowler”, and while Amalia and even Tristepin quickly identify this as a love story, he says this:

“Whoa Kriss! Without knowing it you were the best friend of Brakmar’s best Boufbowler, that’s so cool!”

So either Yugo just doesn’t understand romance at that point, or he thinks wanting to kiss your bestie is a very normal activity. If at this point he already considers his best friend to be Amalia, well, huh, and if he considers The Brotherhood of the Tofu as his best friends, well, huh.

And it’s not just hard to tell for him, it can be hard to tell for us too.

Here’s a thing you may think is an obvious sign of attraction for Yugo: blushing.

“You’re very brave. And also… very pretty.”

See, that face for example? Obviously a sign of attraction right? He’s looking at a pretty girl and complimenting her because he finds her “very pretty”. But we know for a fact he also blushes a lot when he’s embarrassed.

In s2ep14, he doesn’t just blush because a pretty girl is hitting on him, he looks towards Pinpin and Ruel smiling mockingly at him before pulling that face.

Everyone being embarrassed because a whole bar of pirates is laughing at them in s2ep19.

What’s more, this is the hardest he’s ever blushed in anime when looking at Amalia:

That… isn’t a lot. (And yes, if you have read the manga, he blushes harder in those, but the artistic decisions changed a lot depending on the format because the artist can draw the characters kind of however they want once they leave the format of animation, so I can’t really take it into account for this)

Therefore, I think Yugo doesn’t need to blush at someone to be attracted to them. But his eyes twinkling, which happens in almost all of his previously shown crush moments but are only visible in movement, may be of help for our queer reading later on, though it is more closely associated to strong emotions than romantic feelings.

To finish that take, I’ll remind everyone Yugo can only qualify as a young adult by the time of the OVAs, and while his feelings on the matter of romance are still ambivalent, by that point Yugo is at least sexually aware, or at least partially, because on one hand he doesn’t seem to care that much about pushing on Amalia’s butt to help her get out,

The literal face of innocence, genuinely just wanted to help.

on another, this is his reaction after carrying her bridal-style:

Yes. What’s under the hat is again used like a “what’s in your pants” comment. Sorry if this is a bit uncomfortable, I get it.

part 3

[seventeenlovesthree]

Hey I thought I would you ask you something about the Digidestined that makes me really wonder about their relationships.

Minus any shipping,

Which Digidestined do you think brings out each Digidestined the best of themselves? It could be as a friend or a love interest.

The show seems to imply that DNA digivolving/jogress means they are matched together well, but is this really the case?

I think an analysis like this would be helpful.

I would agree that the idea of "brings out the best in the other/makes the other better" is not applicable to every single Jogress combination - and sometimes, it applies more to one side than the other, but it also really depends on the time and place the characters are currently at. While there is a certain theme of complementation going on between all existing Jogress pairs ("one is having something the other lacks"), they also don't make each other "perfect".

Personally, I would also always distinguish that Jogress compatibility doesn't equal romantic compatibility - it CAN be a factor, but is not the main theme in my opinion. But let me look at all individual cases... May be a looooong post!

Taichi: For him, it REALLY depends on what timeframe we want to look at, because it's incredibly context-reliant. To nobody's surprise, I gotta name the 3 characters that - aside from Hikari - have the greatest interpersonal impact on him: Sora, Koushirou and Yamato. Sora's influence makes Taichi softer and, as we know, makes him question his cowardice - she is indirectly responsible for activating his Crest for a reason after all and I still maintain that, despite the miscommunication that goes on between them throughout the series (OWG, Tri), him caring for her is pushing him to do his best. Yamato can be seen as complementary here, because, while Omegamon was never formed BECAUSE of their bond, Yamato still challenges his sense of courage, he makes him more contemplative and considerate in times of emergency (Dark Master's Arc, Tri, Kizuna). Yamato also pushes him to rethink his strategies, pushing him to be better - the problem is that they sometimes have to get physically violent for it to happen and that's not necessarily the healthiest approach. Koushirou is here for the simple fact that he enables Taichi to make the right decisions and even if Taichi still has a tendency to do things himself, he knows he can rely on Koushirou's strengths to do so (Adventure, OWG). Similarly to how he relies on Yamato, even though it has less of an emotionally visible impact. Long story short - he can be his most COURAGEOUS self when his heart, his gut and his head are in the right place. (Hikari can be mentioned here because she gets him to try to be responsible and protective thanks to their past experiences, but that should be self-explanatory.)

Yamato: Jyou and Taichi. Similarly to how Yamato has an emotional impact on Taichi, the same goes the other way round - I'm still ranking him after Jyou, just give me a moment to explain. First of all, both Jyou and Taichi used to have their rocky moments with Yamato, some involving punching, others shouting and accusations. You can argue that, as adults, a.) they have overcome most of their arguments and quarrels and b.) Taichi and Yamato seem to be much, much closer than Jyou and Yamato. I still maintain that, personality wise, Jyou is more emotionally compatible to deal with Yamato's temper. As said, most of Taichi's and Yamato's quarrels have been solved by now, Yamato doesn't perceive Taichi as a threat of his own sense of leadership and ability to be a brother anymore; he may still see him as a mirror displaying his own worst qualities whenever he's at his lowest point though. They have become good, close friends, that will always be capable of saving the world together, trusting in each other blindly; as mentioned here, I think that they are not necessarily able to save each other outside of that though. We may spin this into a direction that, Jyou is more compatible with Yamato romantically in my book; because he could look through Yamato's insecurities and, by being inspired by him, inspired Yamato in return as well - and activated Yamato's Crest after all. I know, I know, I may be biased and it's been a while since they've smiled at each other softly like they did in the Dark Master's Arc - but at least the stageplay validated me in how Yamato was eventually able to open up thanks to Jyou's encouragement. Long story short, both Jyou and Taichi tickled Yamato's sense of FRIENDSHIP in very particular ways - and this is remarkable, because Yamato is good at "finding people" (as in, doing investigations and knowing whom to contact), but not necessarily good at maintaining bonds. (Takeru may be mentioned, because he nurtured Yamato's protective attitude, but just like with the Yagami siblings, this can be seen as a given.)

Sora: Mimi and Taichi. I am a big fan of the idea that Sora and Mimi complement each other in the best possible ways - while Sora used to be the mom/big sister friend to take Mimi under her wing, protect and guide her, she encourages Mimi to bloom into a confident flower that got enabled to support Sora in all the ways she needed for once. Granted, Sora still struggles to accept Mimi's help, even as an adult, but the analogy of Mimi being the flower who softens the thorns in Sora's heart is just too beautiful to me. Speaking of hearts, if there is any other character that reaches hers in character-defining ways, it's Taichi. The same Taichi who, after saving her, vanished, caused her to look for him on her own while still protecting everyone in the back, just to end up reunited, with everyone having gotten stronger than before, helping her to realize that she indeed knows how to LOVE. As pointed out here, they are continuously on each other's minds, almost telepathically connected (as implied in the novels) - and similarly to Mimi, Taichi has a very strong impact on how Sora defines herself. Starting off as his football buddy and partner in crime, regardless of her gender, I still maintain that it particularly confused her when she got that hairclip from him, challenging her own identity problems and issues with femininity even more. And while I already said that there is an ongoing theme of miscommunication between them, up until Kizuna, the care and connection between them does not fully vanish. Mimi is the one who tells her to spread her wings freely (To Sora), Taichi is the one who tells her that her caring attitude is not a flaw (Tri) - she still has to embrace both of that first though and since she currently prefers to take a bit time for herself, we gotta wait and see if and when that might be the case...

Koushirou: Taichi and Mimi. I will try to keep this briefly, as you all may already be familiar with my stance on this anyway, but still: Without Taichi, Koushirou would not have gone to Summer Camp. Without Taichi relying on Koushirou's skills, enabling and encouraging him, the group would not have saved Sora, would not have been able to solve the card riddle and get back to the real world, would not have solved The Prophecy, would not have been able to find medicine for Hikari... You see where I am going with this. Koushirou, according to the novels, used to not think very highly of himself as a person who also didn't get along well with other people - and Taichi just naturally took him under his wing, invited him to camp, indirectly helped him to believe in his KNOWLEDGE and skills more and become more of a hands-on person, which naturally led to him become a guidance and eventually a mentor and teacher for his friends and especially the younger kids. Basically, he could open up and become more vocal due to his bond with Taichi (again, literal novel quote), being his best friend, right-hand-man and partner in crime, solving riddles and saving the world together. The other person who makes him get more vocal at times is Mimi - not only does she challenge him to question his own approaches by having a completely different priority system (positive!), but also makes him question his wardrobe (slightly less positive in my opinion and I still wish I could name Sora as honourable mention at this point, because fashion could have been a wonderful bonding and development theme for them, but they simply never got executed like that!). The fact that both Taichi and Mimi cause his polite attitude to fade at various points in the series is a clear indicator that they have an impact on him like nobody else - especially because he is very connected with a lot of people online and makes sure to keep everybody always up to date, but is not necessarily the most social butterfly outside of Chosen Children duty.

Mimi: Sora and Jyou. I'm not sure who deserves spot 1 and who gets spot 2 here, because both of them have such a vital influence on why Mimi is as confident in herself as she is. As already mentioned in Sora's part, Sora has been protecting and guiding Mimi ever since they have known one another and it's quite obvious that Mimi, despite not aspiring to be like Sora at all, still greatly admires her and all her qualities. When Mimi loses her way, she knows she can rely on Sora to pull her out of it - which is exactly why their bond, Sora's kindness and encouragement helped to make Mimi's Crest glow for the first time, making her admit her faults and wrong-doings. And Mimi, despite her outspoken, opinionated attitude, needs encouragement. Which is where Jyou comes into play - not only was he the one to accompany her on her pacifist path of self-discovery once, but he was also by her side when she needed to vent over her insecurities and self-esteem issues twice. Making her be her most SINCERE self. Which in both cases, was a mutual experience, as I will go into detail about down below. Long story short: Both Sora and Jyou are capable of making her open up in the most genuine way, she feels safe and loved by them in ways nobody else can. Because even if they (indirectly) scold her for things she does wrong - they still do so softly, signaling her that she is fine the way she is. (An honourable mention here goes out to Stageplay/Kizuna!Koushirou who inspires Mimi to try out "something with computers".)

Jyou: Mimi and Yamato. Due to the consistent trope between Jyou and Mimi, I am very inclined to put her before Yamato in this ranking, but in the end, the theme between them is very similar. As pointed out before, Jyou decides to join Mimi in the Dark Master's Arc, primarily to protect her - but through witnessing and admiring her for finding her way, he felt inspired by her AND Yamato to go search for his own path, approach and attitude towards basically everything. It's something that both of them trigger in him at various points; even when he ends up questioning his intentions and motivations again, Mimi's sincere way of opening up to him (Tri) is what brings him back on track himself as well, allowing him to be honest to her and to himself. Not only that, Yamato (stageplay) validates him in believing that it all comes down to choosing for yourself to stay on track. Yamato (Adventure) who had once left the group, leaving Jyou in particular with the wish to believe in himself and his qualities. It's just a wonderful theme that keeps coming up, that helps Jyou to develop such a strong aura of confidence, which in turn makes him the senpai others actually feel capable of opening up to freely and safely. Which is significant considering how busy (and/or absent) he is most of the time. He IS Mister RELIABLE for a reason, so his validation causing Yamato's Crest to glow and Mimi to be confident enough to reach Ultimate level does mean something...

Takeru: Hikari (and Iori as honourable mention). You may or may not personally be pleased by the fact that Takeru and Hikari took the longest to conduct here. This can technically be seen as a negative, since it may imply that Takeru's bond with other characters doesn't go deep enough. Don't get me wrong, he DOES have bonds with QUITE a few other characters, he's looking up to Taichi a LOT, he loves to quarrel with Daisuke, he seems to know what is going on in Sora's and Koushirou's lives, his path from despising to trusting Ken is incredibly interesting, we already know that he and Yamato would die for each other and so on and so on... But you get the sense that he's not letting anybody really in too closely - which, as I observed before, applies to his brother as well. On the other hand, it also means what I already said in previous analysis posts: That he and Hikari are too glued together by the hip to let anybody else really come in between. There may have been times when one could have called it codependency, but considering all their parallels, everything they have seen and have gone through together, it can at least be assumed that they overcame some of their communicative barriers by the time of The Beginning. As much of a fun little time-killing exercise it may have been, he still spent his time practicing his fanfiction world-building skills with her and while the viewer cannot tell how much they have been talking about and processing their trauma, their brother complexes, etc., you simply cannot deny that they have consistently been there for each other. So one can only hope that he has stopped projecting his own overprotective brother tendencies onto her (ever since Tailmon called him out on them in 02), taking off the masks he has been showing a lot of people. Allowing himself to be the HOPE to her Light so to speak. I still want to give Iori a small honourable mention, because while I maintain that Iori "profits" more off of their relationship, I do believe that there was a time in 02 when he was also capable of making Takeru softer, offering him a bit of a mirror to himself.

Hikari: Takeru and Miyako. While the same issues apply to Hikari that have been mentioned with Takeru, her case is still a little bit different. Of course she had been hyperfocusing and depending on her brother for big chunks of the series and while she doesn't seem good at letting others in too closely either, her kindness still attracts people around her - including Takeru, who, as described, is both parallel and sidekick to her. You may already refer to them as trolls and partners in crime - and Hikari intended to stop depending on Takeru for protection as well, wanting to be equals ever since 02. Which, by the looks of it, may actually be the case, considering how they have been fighting rampaging Digimon side by side in Kizuna almost in sync. Again, she is acting as the LIGHT to his Hope. On the other hand, there is also Miyako, who, in contrast to Hikari, is loud and brash and tells the world when she doesn't like something - which is a skill Hikari basically longed to develop herself. So her admiring Miyako to at least some degree - while also being admired and encouraged by her in return - may have been a trigger that allowed her to grow more and more confident, balanced and equal to Miyako. As well as to Takeru too. And they may only grow further from here...

Daisuke: Ken. Daiken are probably THE prime example on how a Jogress combination gets the best out of each other. Simply because them working on their bond, their friendship, drags them away from toxic or dangerous habits (playing roles, hiding behind masks to impress others, bragging, catastrophizing, self-sabotage, etc.) and instead helps them to focus on what's really important. Daisuke gets naturally more comfortable, confident, downright happier and more enthusiastic thanks to Ken; his wish to BEFRIEND Ken basically makes him discover his own sense of COURAGE... There simply isn't a better example than this, because nobody else makes him get as honest as Ken does, as he basically plays a role towards everyone else (Hikari, Takeru, Taichi - and especially with the latter, it's a shame, because he used to look up to him, but finds his own style along the way, which never got that much focus...).

Ken: Daisuke. It's the reverse situation as described above, Ken is being enabled to overcome or at least deal with a lot of his self-esteem issues thanks to Daisuke's encouragement. The best thing is that, as soon as he opens up thanks to Daisuke, literally letting all of his KINDNESS shine through, he is capable of forming (potentially beautiful) bonds with several other Chosen Children and may have the greatest growth with the members of his core group (Iori, Takeru, Hikari and Miyako) than any other 02 kid. And in contrast to what I've said at the beginning of the post, Ken and Daisuke may or may not also be romantically compatible after all...

Miyako: Mimi and Hikari. While there are other characters who have an impact on her behaviour, I would argue that these two may have the biggest influence on how Miyako defines herself. Her identity and self-image are basically challenged by how she perceives these two; Mimi is oozing freedom, self-expression and brazenness when Miyako meets her for the first time, which are not only things that make her look up to her, but also things she would like to possess herself. Hikari is on the other end of the spectrum, she appears to be more reserved, collected, lady-like - and still possesses a drive, confidence and courage that Miyako admires. Her bond with both of them makes her more confident and also more SINCERE and LOVING, more aware of herself, her flaws and limitations, while also making her softer. (I would LOVE to add names like Sora and Koushirou here too, but they did not have screentime nor long-lasting "revelation" appeal to her. Sure, they both basically made her see that it's okay not to jump if you don't feel up for the task, but overall, they didn't have too much effect on her in comparison.)

Iori: Jyou and Takeru. Koushirou gets an honourable mention here, because he doesn't get nearly as much opportunity to see Iori at his lower points or have meaningful emotional moments as the other two do. Jyou and Takeru get way more opportunities to get to know and bond with him - we all know he still gets the shortest end of the stick in terms of screentime and relationship development, but it's still interesting to see how he loosens up, softens thanks to what he experiences with and observes through them. Takeru and him both have a lot of pent-up anger, but Iori learns that lashing out for revenge may not be the right path. Likewise, Jyou used to be a lot more tense and stiff on rules when he was younger - and is now teaching Iori that it's okay to take things easier, to be kinder with oneself. Plus, neither of them treats him like "a child/the youngest" and so he gets the best of both worlds, making him become more resilient through the gained KNOWLEDGE and letting him take on tasks to show his own RELIABILITY.

[storm-priestess]

☾*✲⋆. HOW DO THEY FEEL ABOUT YOU? ☾*✲⋆.

designed for crushes, but can be used for anyone. if it resonates, it's for you

(arranged 1-2 on top, 3-4 on bottom)

(pictures taken from weheartit)

✲ Pile 1 ☾

a lot of… new energy here. did you just meet? if not, their feelings have recently gone through a change, or they've had a realization…

with the 10 of pentacles in the center, I feel like they were/are focusing on work and then got hit with a love arrow, but what they want to do about that is still up to them

I feel like they are close to moving for a job, with the 6 of swords right next to the 10p, so their plans and feelings don't match up. this does feel relatively new, given the fool and ace of swords, so maybe these feelings aren't strong enough to justify declining a great job or even school opportunity (for some, they could be moving away for college)

either way, there's also a message of returning. they're trying to have faith that if it's meant to be you'll meet again at a better time

all of the lenormand cards i got point to a message, something coming to light, a secret revealed. several things come to mind as to what this could be. I'm thinking a) your feelings are revealed to them, and they (at first) don't know how to feel only to grow affection once the the dirt settles (or they have a grand realization right then and there, which seems a bit less likely but possible); b) they're feelings are revealed; or c) they (or you!) receive a job offer / college acceptance letter that changes the game. either way, a message changes everything

idk who needs to hear this but they're anxious, don't push them. I feel like someone reading this is trying to force affection out of their crush based on pac readings confirming their feelings. give them time, it's a little crazy for them rn (or it will be)

some of you are very intuitive and are very convinced that this is your person, or you will be with them in some romantic context. again, just bc you are ready doesn't mean that they are. just give them some time

i hope you enjoyed the reading! as always feedback is welcome and paid readings are open <3 

✲ Pile 2 ☾

very commanding energy. ngl i got a lil hot under the collar when the first cards came out

they are very insistent to take their own time. the type to hear your confession, reciprocate feelings, but still stay in the teasing or flirting stage bc they are not quite ready to take things to the next level

very 'booked and busy' vibe, they don't feel like a fuckboy, but they have assignments or a competitive job or sports or something that is splitting their attention

it's very passionate (not necessarily 18+, they just have very strong emotions, but they keep them in check well? like they can feel the most lovey dovey way possible but just smirk and go back to doing their homework bc it's due at midnight and they have the control of a fucking steam engine???)

total cap energy, I'll just say it

a lot under the surface as well? I feel like they show very little on their face, maybe they always seem in control and calm, but that's definitely not true. things get to them sometimes

bit of an escapist. has some self doubt and uses work or possibly relationships to escape from things they can't change or require a lot of effort to change. just make sure you're not just a distraction, as that could possibly happen

oh holy hot damn the 'true love' card popped out of the oracle deck, and then the 'wishes will be granted' card 😳 yall

this person is used to getting what they want, at least with people. maybe they fall in love a lot as well. but I would be dumb not to mention the very obvious possibility with these cards that they reciprocate your feelings

overall, they have a very fiery energy when it comes to love and perhaps are used to being chased, so be cautious and make sure that if you want commitment and a serious relationship you are getting it

the 'devotion' card also popped out as I was putting the cards away… just put your foot down and you will be more likely to get commitment out of this person. don't settle!!!

i hope you enjoyed the reading! as always feedback is welcome and paid readings are open <3

✲ Pile 3 ☾

if you guys are friends with your crush and have been getting mixed signals from them, this pile is for you

they're thinking about this connection way too much, so many cerebral cards came out

but also the 10 of cups???

I feel like they overanalyze every single thing you say and do, they are going crazy trying to decipher you

I also feel like they're not entirely sure where they want this connection to go? there's a lot of affection here, but part of it just seems like they'd be happy to have you in their life in any form

maybe they get that you're interested and are debating just going for it, bc they don't want to lose the friendship, but also aren't entirely sure that they have romantic feelings for you? they just like you so much, pile 3

part of them wants to keep things how they are, and are afraid of change, bc they don't know where this could lead and don't want to risk it

even if they do have romantic feelings, their thoughts are on stability. how can they stabilize this relationship? how can they ensure that you both get out of this confusing stage in one piece, holding hands and laughing about it?

might also be a sticky situation like a love triangle or their-ex-is-your-friend type of thing

they do seem very considerate though, they're not just listening to their own feelings but what's best for everyone

oh wow. for some of you this person has had eyes on you since they first saw you and has gotten used to settling for friendship. now they don't know if it's worth changing, since this worked out so well

they're so used to dealing with these feelings alone that they don't realize that the signals you might be sending them are real

they've calmed down a bit only to be thrown back into the arena

godspeed, pile 3 🫡

i hope you enjoyed the reading! as always feedback is welcome and paid readings are open <3

✲ Pile 4 ☾

they seem like they're going to go for it, pile 4

knight of swords and the magician??? not to mention all the cards I pulled with people on them are offering something, facing forward, very direct

they look confident, or at least they are when they're alone, analyzing your interactions

the high priestess is also here, and this particular deck has her smirking, very bold and confident in her intuition. I feel like they somehow know how you feel and are planning on doing something about it

I'm not getting a lot of their emotions, per se, just plans. it's up to you to decide if this person is sincere or just wants to pass the time

they could possibly be using relationships to validate themselves? insecurity or a past with heartbreak could make this person eager to show that they're desirable

again, emotions aren't being shown very much here, so either they don't have much of an emotional attachment to you or they are so far in the game that they have already decided to put their heart on the line and act, not contemplate feelings anymore 

yeah no I hate to say it but there is a bit of a playboy vibe here. protect your energy, pile 4, only go for this if you are okay with where it could lead

omg the charms that came out have me cackling

do they wear a lip ring??? bc if they do I feel like that might be a bit of a warning

also wear pastels or pink regularly, particularly preppy polos or button-up shirts

one charm is a cylindrical crystal attached to a metal hoop w small chains (like a dangly earring), and when it came out the crystal was fit inside the ring 💀 they got something on their mind for surree

if you are okay with one night stands then go for it, but if you are looking for something more I might suggest waiting things out a little bit. no matter what it's up to you!

i hope you enjoyed the reading! as always feedback is welcome and paid readings are open <3

[antimony-medusa]

*new yorker accent* hey what’re yous thoughts on uhhh them queer platonic romances? new york numbah one da big apple babey!!!

Oh I love QPRs, I love relationship anarchy. I love the diverse ways that people can define a relationship that works for them, with whatever they need in it, and it can have sex or no sex, kissing or no kissing, sleeping together or sleeping apart, raising children together, buying a house, marriage, pet names, holidays with family— any sort of thing we put into a relationship, and we can pull that apart and reassemble it in a way that works for us, and it can be romantic or not, or sexual or not, but boy howdy it sure is queer.

Okay I have been assuming that this is in a fandom writing context, but the above all applies to them in real life. In FANDOM—

Okay I may be on the outside with this, but I think a QPR can definitely come up to the line of being ship, depending on the QPR, so I don't necessarily agree with the way this fandom has fallen into QPR = not!shipping that's safe to publically do to cubitos whose creators don't want ship.

Cause like, we have clips from streamers saying they're not comfortable with ship, or not comfortable with things being "weird", but they usually don't specify beyond that. In a lot of cases, they haven't specified if there's a distinction between character shipping or IRL shipping, so like in no cases have they specified if the issue with shipping is sex (cause you can have an ace romantic marriage with no sex— does that count as "ship"?) or romance (cause by definition QPRs would not apply) or strong emotional dwelled on bonds that tie them to another player in a tight way (cause like, this is what a fair number of people writing QPRs fall into, cause from the outside if you're not aro some of the QPRs look pretty close to romantic relationship on the surface! I know it's not romance, and you know it's not romance, but is a streamer just scrolling twitter going to see that at a first glance if they come across a snippet of someone calling each other a life partner and going to bed together?) Cause like, trying to put myself in the shoes of the streamer, I could see the problem being sex (makes sense) OR romance (makes sense) or any really tight emotionally-dwelled on life-bond relationship (some of this I don't know if the streamers might still think it's weird to see done to their characters, even if it's technically by definition platonic). So some of this I still don't know if QPRs are something that every creator is going to feel comfortable seeing?

And I don't tend to love the implications of some of the stuff twitter does where it's like "oh, i can't ship, only QPR", like QPRs are automatically like santitized "safe" shipping, instead of their own category of thing that could mean almost anything. Like in real life if you know someone is in a QPR you know they're in a QPR, you still have no idea if that means they're married, or have sex, or make out on the regular, or call each other lovey dovey things, or sleep together, you just know they have a life bond. This fandom treats QPR like it's only one thing, and like it's a lesser, training wheels type of relationship, and that really grinds my gears.

So for me QPRs fall into a category where I'm like, awesome, pog to do, I know we love to take interactions between cubitos and expand them out and it makes perfect sense to take some of these in a QPR way. Go on with your bad self. But unless a creator has explicitly allowed it/canonized it, honestly I'd treat it the same way as I would some of the more hot-button trigger tagged fics (abuse, cannibalism, whump, mind control, addictions issues, torture) or like "instincts driven" family dynamic stuff or extremely aged down family dynamic stuff, where I'm like yes, technically this is fine, but let's just be safe and keep that where the streamer only finds it if they go looking for it. Please keep it out of TTS. This is something for the fandom, not for the streamers.

Just tag your shit and keep it away from the streamers and you're good.

[chobani-flip]

the disconnect between the storytelling of the show and of the fandom

lately, I've been thinking about storytelling and storytellers in the context of 911.

like, there's two sides to this storytelling business, right?

there's the small group writers and showcreators who have an idea for the characters and plots and have to come up with a way to share those ideas within the constraints of a network television series

and then there's us, a massive international community with a wide-range of life experiences, who watch their show and then go on to tell our own story about it.

and i wonder if we're always watching the story they're telling.

im not even necessarily talking about the buddie goggles right now.

what got me thinking about this was ana flores.

and the one scene the fandom likes to pretend sealed her fate (when in actuality, let's be quite candid, it was the fact that she was a beautiful woman who dared to date eddie instead of allowing him to remain a viable option for canonical/fanonical offscreen cannoodling with buck)

"there's a lot to be said for getting back on the horse, but there's also some value in learning that you don't like horses." eddie: "i'm sorry?" "sometimes, our limitations tell us when to stop. but sometimes, they can show us where to look next." (romantic, feelingsy song starts playing) "today, he falls off the skateboard. but tomorrow, he writes the great american novel."

see, the problem here is that this is CLEARLY meant to be viewed as wise and deep advice. as a moment of connection between ana and eddie... the way the scene is cut, the music that plays in the background, the intense eye-contact between the two characters, the way eddie reacts to her words... we're meant to enjoy the simmering tension and potential between them...

but... it's not great and deep advice, not really. it's been pointed out that it comes off as ableist. and ana is supposed to be a teacher at this excellent inclusive institution; she is meant to have experience with children of different abilities feeling frustrated and wanting to do the same things other children are doing... someone on here pointed out that if they were the teacher, they would seek to understand what need christopher was trying to fullfil by getting on the skateboard and help him achieve it by other means

but what ana comes up with is this awkward horse metaphor that doesn't really make sense for the situation, and a condescending: "awwww, well, im sure he's the next hemingway"

BUT SEE, THAT'S NOT THE STORY THE SHOW IS TELLING US. the show is ostensibly framing this scene as romantic and great and deep. and that is NOT ana's fault. the character of ana didn't travel to our reality, didn't block the scene, didn't cut it and add the soundtrack. that's on the showcreators.

but somehow, it's really difficult for us to see it that way when it comes to ana.

in a way that it's not when it comes to Hen, poor little Mara and the Doberman.

because we know Hen and Karen, and we like them.

so we awkwardly shuffle around, side-eyeing each other, quietly nudging each other and going: "bit of a fail that, huh? kinda a weird thing to do on the part of the show, huh? comparing a little Black girl to a dog...why did they do that???"

or there was an excellent post floating around about whether Buck and Eddie realize they can say no to sex, that their consent matters.

"what if i come home and she wants to haaaaaave..." "well, you'll get through it somehow," says buck with an amused grin on his face.

see, the problem isn't necessarily whether the characters know that their consent matters, but whether the showcreators do. because this is clearly meant to be viewed as a joke.

eddie is a macho guy, who tends to keep his cool in difficult situations, so it's funny when you see him freaking out over the fact that his girlfriend wants to have sex with him and he doesn't want to have sex with her because her former chosen-profession taps into his well of Messy Catholic Feelings.

isn't it? isn't that just fucking hilarious?

and the answer to that is: no. it's not funny to any part of the audience who's ever felt pressured (by a partner, by society, by their own expectations) to want or to have sex.

but does the show realize that?

i'm sorry but i don't think so. this is the show that framed dr.wells sexually assaulting buck during a therapy session as a joke to casually bring up and needle him over later, that felt the need to reassure us that chimney and maddie can and do have wild, passionate monkey sex (you remember, albert teasing chim, then the hotel with the revolving room, etc), that had karen ask hen what the point of a relationship was if the couple weren't having sex...

now, i genuinely don't think the showcreators mean to be hurtful, or harmful. i don't think they realise how all these things come off. because they're a fairly small group of people from Los Angeles, North America, and are working within the constraints of a network television show

(and the point of the Eddie and Buck scene was Buck coming out to Eddie, so maybe they felt Buck saying: "you know, you can tell her you don't want to have sex, right? that's allowed." would fraction the focus of it? idk)

but what happens is that there's this disconnect between the story they're telling us and the story we continue to tell among ourselves.

when it comes to the characters we like, we tend to ignore the unpleasant meanings and messages in relation to the character, or we retcon it in fanfic, or we Fix-it with some heart-to-hearts and apologies.

(for example, i haven't seen many fics that show athena being a Cop as not-a-great-thing. but are we really ok with her saying "i wasn't on their side, but i understood their side." when her son expresses some reasonable dissatisfaction with her reaction to a cop pointing a gun at him and michael? or are we just ignoring it because we love angela bassett?)

when it comes to characters we are predisposed to dislike, this disconnect makes us dislike them even more. which leads to the writing of bashing fics, and in some cases harassing the performers online jfc do not do that people that's never ok

(of course, some characters are hated justifiedly imao, like the buckley parents and chimney's father...)

maybe this is the frustration that makes for such a prolific and active fandom?

I don't know.

but I think it's something to keep in mind when watching the show. because that disconnect is always going to be there and I know that for my own personal mental health, it's easier and nicer to believe that a group of RL people might sometimes be just a bit ignorant at times and write in weird shit unintentionally, than that my favourite characters are massive assholes unpredictably and randomly

[thatgirl4815]

One thing that strikes me about Ray/Sand vs Ray/Mew is that for the life of me I just can't picture the Ray who jumps on Sand and sticks his smelly pits in his face, the Ray who is cheeky and playful and a bit goofy, doing those things or acting that way with Mew. And I don't even mean within the context of any romantic relationship - I find it really hard to imagine their friendship having any such similar moments, where they're just two boys being a bit daft. With Sand Ray can be flirty, sensual, fierce, but he can also be silly, petulant, carefree (whilst sober). I just can't see him exhibiting that duality in his relationship with Mew. In their scenes previous to The Dance of Doom, he's usually been quite serious, heavy, earnest - weighed down, whether by Mew's expectations or his own feelings I don't know (likely both). He just seems so much lighter when he's with Sand (and they're apart from everyone else). I'm not saying it's Mew's fault - maybe it's a result of the pedestal he occupies in Ray's mind, but I just thought it was interesting. Ray often seems like an entirely different person when he's with Sand. And I think that's why those of us rooting for a (healthy) endgame are so invested, because in those interactions we see the person Ray COULD be, and it's pretty clear it's Sand that brings out that potential. Again, not saying he doesn't also require a shitload of soul-searching and professional help, but how could you NOT want him to reach that potential? And I'm almost certain the showrunners would agree. Now that doesn't necessarily mean the only way to get there is a Sand/Ray happy ending or that Sand owes it to Ray to put up with his bullshit in the meantime, but I think Sand wants that for Ray too and I don't think that makes him pathetic. I think Sand is pretty good at spotting when Ray's behaviour is that of someone in crisis vs being a brat/careless. It's probably why he requires an apology for Ray dropping him at the end of ep 3 but not for the insults at the end of ep 6 (well that and the whole near death experience!). No, Sand is under no obligation to keep loving/caring for Ray at his worst, but if he CHOOSES to do so because he's seen him at his best and because he knows the pain that lies beneath it all, well then actually that's something quite remarkable. Not romantic, mind you - remarkable. I'm not romanticising anything. But to me that shows a strength of character and a depth of compassion that's worthy of respect.

Great observations! I also can't really see a teasing, light-hearted RayMew relationship (at least, not when they're both sober), mostly because we haven't seen that dynamic much at all between them as friends. The thing that makes friends-to-lovers plots so successful is the chemistry between friends conjoined with romantic chemistry. And I don't get much of either of those between them (possibly because the vast majority of scenes between Ray and Mew only are about Ray's alcohol/drug problems).

A lot of this goes back to what you said about Ray putting Mew on a pedestal. It's always felt like Mew is in a superior position while Ray is only pining after him. With Ray and Sand, we see Sand acknowledge the dangers of Ray's behavior, but it never comes across as domineering or self-righteous (reminds me of @bird-inacage's analysis here about how Sand and Mew react differently to Ray's addictions).

I definitely think Ray is a better version of himself with Sand. He's noticeably less drunk around him, he opens up about his past, he apologizes and speaks relatively openly about his feelings, he makes an effort to invest in Sand's interests...the list goes on. Those are all signs of a healthy relationship built on mutual interests. For Ray and Mew, I think it's fair to say there are other motivations beyond romantic feelings.

I also admire Sand's depth of compassion. As you said, he is under no obligation to keep coming back to Ray and caring for him the way he does, but the fact that he is doing that despite knowing that he deserves better says a lot about his values. When he cares for someone, he cares for them deeply, despite the pain they might inflict upon him. For someone like Sand who seems so headstrong in other areas of his life, there's something endearing about how soft he is for Ray.

[midnightstargazer]

why I, as a Regulus stan, don't ship Jegulus

With the disclaimer upfront that I'm not saying nobody should. I know I have mutuals who do. Y'all are cool. We can ship and let ship. But I don't ship them, and here's why.

I don't care for how Regulus is usually characterized in the context of Jegulus. I prefer him redeemable, but morally gray; someone who was influenced by family and peer pressure but ultimately made his own bad choices and later changed his mind, not someone who was forced into every bad thing he ever did. I'm sure there are Jegulus fics out there where he is more morally gray. But from what I've seen, he's often a bit too sanitized for my taste.

I don't care for how James is usually characterized, either. Sunshine boy who wants to believe the best of everyone? I don't see it. In canon he's very loyal and caring towards his friends, but there's no evidence he would have a nuanced point of view towards someone like Regulus, particularly during their late teenage years when Regulus is actively espousing blood supremacist ideology and working for the Death Eaters.

(Which doesn't mean I think Regulus is unworthy of love. I just don't think it's likely James, specifically, would have liked him very much during the time period when they would have known each other in canon)

Because of this, I can only imagine Jegulus in a context very far removed from canon: either a Muggle AU, a no Voldemort AU, an AU where Regulus runs away with Sirius, etc. None of those are very interesting to me. It could also work if Regulus survives and ends up in the Order, which is a favorite trope of mine, but I'd just as soon see that with a different ship or no ship for Regulus and keep Jily together.

I ship Jily. Which isn't necessarily an obstacle, because I'm willing to multi-ship basically anybody except Tedromeda. I can totally get on board with the idea that one or both of them had another relationship before they got together, or that in a canon divergence story where one of them survives, they might eventually move on with someone else. But because I do ship Jily, I'm not really looking for someone else to ship with James.

Who Regulus ends up with romantically, if anybody, is the least interesting thing about him imo. I'll read fics where he's paired up romantically, and I've written a few of them - although I also have a long ongoing series where he's aro-ace. Having a romance arc for Regulus at all is 100% optional as far as I'm concerned.

The "best friend's brother" thing - I think it mischaracterizes Sirius's relationships with both of them to assume he would be overprotective of Regulus and suspicious of James if they were to get together. I love fics where the Black brothers reconcile, but still, I doubt they'd ever have such a stereotypically normal sibling relationship. And that's not even getting started on how it undermines Sirius's friendship with James.

Its sheer overwhelming popularity annoys me. No offense intended to anyone who likes it. Your personal preference is valid. It's the expectation for everyone to share that preference that I don't love. A lot of the time in the Marauders fandom the pairing is simply taken for granted as the default. So that does make me dig my heels in a bit.

[thelaundrybitch]

Link your three favorite fics right now

How do you write smut scenes? Do you get very visual or detailed? How important is it to be realistic?

Share a snippet from a WIP

YAY! Thank you for sending me an ask!

Link your three favorite fics right now

Woven by Nacatu on Wattpad and AO3 (2012 tmnt)

LINK HERE

Pocky Game by Moonbean21 on Quotev (Bayverse Raph)

LINK HERE

Shells, Tails, and Freelancers by @sharpwindow (Bayverse turts)

LINK HERE

How do you write smut scenes? Do you get very visual or detailed? How important is it to be realistic?

Ok, Im'a be honest.

I don't really enjoy writing *smut*

I prefer to write romance, and romantic scenes that potentially end up in some steamy bedroom time.

I don't necessarily get very visual or detailed, I'm more about dialog and feelings. For me, those are the most important to portray during a love scene.

As for realistic? I mean... Feelings and dialog, I try my best. I think if I can get myself to enjoy my bedroom scenes, then they are realistic enough 💖

Share a snippet from a WIP

WOOHOO! Going for gold here! 🥳

It's a bit out of context and messy, but here you go. It's with my tmnt OC Basilio - who is the eldest of my iteration of the turtle bros.

Warning, Thirsty bitch under the cut

💙💙💙💙💙💙💙

I'm in a dojo.

None that I recognize.

It's dark and quiet.

There's a whole bunch of plants - mainly bonsai- lining the walls on scattered shelves.

It's incredibly peaceful.

As I'm spinning in place to see the rest of the room I've jumped to, I see him.

Sitting with his back to me, in deep meditation.

Quietly I walk to him, thinking I'm being sneaky, but his hand whips out and grabs my wrist and with a sudden yank I'm in his lap.

“You're not where you're supposed to be, Ma Reine,” Basilio hums into my ear. His lips find mine immediately, and I can't help the moan that follows my surprised gasp.

The kiss isn't nearly as long as I want it to be, so when he pulls back from it, I end up chasing him for more.

He lets out a low chuckle and places a few sweet kisses on my needy lips.

“Where am I supposed to be?” I ask, still trying to get him to kiss me.

He's all smiles as he kisses me everywhere but my lips. “With the other three. Today was my solitary day,” he tells me. 

I pull back and give him a sobered look of concern.

“It's required by dad,” he says, “I have exactly zero issues with you popping in on me,” he tells me before I can even spiral into my anxious guilt. His hand finds the back of my head as it tangles through my hair, pulling my lips to his for one of those kisses.

God I just.

No brain activity.

Just pure feelings.

“So,” he says, breaking the kiss, “why me?”

I feel my body flush with hot adrenaline as I blush from head to toe.

Thank God it's dark in here.

He snickers, “You look like I just caught you reading my diary. Fess up,” he teases with a poke to my side.

I squirm a bit, bringing my hands to my face, embarrassed about how I'm going to present this.

“I've been thinking about you all day,” I say quietly.

He moves my hands to reveal a single raised brow ridge and a smug smirk.

“Oh?” he asks, his eyes searching my face until they fall to my lips, where they stay and wait for my response.

*gulp*

I know if I open my mouth I’m going to embarrass myself further so I just nod, instead.

“I thought about you all day too…” He confesses, with a flirty wink. “So tell me,” he says, while moving so suddenly I don’t realize I’m on my back and pinned under him until it’s too late. “What kind of thoughts… were you having?”

There’s no escaping him.

I mean, this is Basilio we’re talking about.

So instead I close my eyes and get it over with, “Thirsty ones,” I admit.

I feel his warm breath in my ear, “Why are you embarrassed? I’ve been having thirsty dreams about you for years,” he purrs, before his lips make real estate down my neck.

“Not dreams…” I let out a pleasurable gasp when his open mouth leaves a love mark on his descent. “Active… uhm… actively thinking,” I get out through some heavy breathing.

“I didn’t say mine happened while I was asleep. They were a conscious decision. And I enjoyed every second of them.” He’s so matter-of-fact about it, I end up squeezing him between my thighs, because oh. My. God. 

“You gonna share, so I can make your dreams come true, Ma Reine?” He purrs between kisses that are making me thirstier. The kisses are everywhere but my mouth.

His self-control is killing me.

💙💙💙💙💙💙

Hope you enjoyed the snippet! You can Find out more about Basilio HERE

Again, Thank you so much for asking me some questions! I love doing these!

Questions are from this post HERE for anyone else who may want to use it or to ask more questions!

~tags for the sneak peek~

@leosgirl82 @leoandraphssoulmate @eveandtheturtles @ninjaintheshadow @replicasey @scholastic-dragon @justalotoffanfiction @meowph-132

[laxmiree]

[CN] MLQC Lucien's "Wicked" Date English Translation (Part 1/2)

⚠️ SPOILER ALERT!! ⚠️

This post contains a detailed spoiler for a date that has not been released in EN yet! Feel free to notify me if there are any mistakes in the translation~

"The wicked are always clear-headed; they see the emptiness after the revelry, the dynamics after the financial feast, the dealings after the battlefield smoke clear."

"...The wicked toy with the era, revel in the era, and above the era."

"Are you interested in such a role, Miss?"

Translation under the cut!

[T/N: I don't want to ruin the immersion too much so I'll put some T/N and Trivias here lol]

huài rén (坏人) in English is typically translated as "bad person" or "villain" It typically refers to someone who illegally uses violence or deception to seize others' property or even their lives. However, on this date, I’ll translate the word as “wicked” considering the context of this date and all lol. Special thanks to @/perhaps-in-anotherdream for suggesting this word <3

"ài rén" (爱人) and "qíng rén" (情人) both refer to a romantic partner or a lover in Chinese, but there is a subtle difference in their usage.

ài rén (爱人): This term generally means "spouse" or "life partner" and is typically translated as "husband"/"wife". It emphasizes a deep emotional connection and often implies a committed, long-term relationship a.k.a marriage. 

qíng rén(情人): This term translates to "lover" in English and is more associated with the romantic and passionate aspects of a relationship. This term is broader and can refer to a lover or someone with whom you have a romantic or intimate relationship. It's a more general term for a romantic partner and doesn't necessarily imply marriage.

This date is set somewhere in New York City in the 1920s. Which why Lucien impliedly mentioned war/a "battlefield" (refer to WW I), there's alcohol prohibition going on (Prohibition era that lasted from 1920 to 1933), and MC mentioned the Golden Age (The Roaring Twenties)

-

[Part 1]

Director: Miss MC, have you had any prior experience in acting?

MC: Yes, I have... a bit.

Director: Are you sure?

The director leans back in the chair, impatiently tapping the script on the table.

Director: Not only did you misread the lines just now, but the few steps you took to the staircase were also awkward…

Director: Miss, the acting experience you mentioned wasn't just playing house with your female classmates in school, was it?

A burst of laughter erupts on the set, and I find myself feeling embarrassed amidst the laughter, my nose tingling with a hint of sourness.

Director: Alright, alright. I've seen plenty of girls like you who work as restaurant waitresses.

Director: Dreaming of becoming a female star just because you've seen a few movie posters in Times Square.

MC: Hold on, Mr. Director, I wasn't dreaming, I just…!

Director: Next!

I'm about to argue, but the staff unceremoniously stops me, signaling me to leave.

More auditioners with heavy makeup are surging forward, pushing me to the outside of the door.

MC: ….Hmph! Why does he look down on female waitresses!

I angrily kick the door frame. Despite the annoyance and frustration, there's an inexplicable hint of happiness in my heart.

——Even though the audition went haywire; if the director didn't see through my "restaurant waitress" facade, does it mean my acting skills aren't that bad after all?

MC: So, it's the director's lack of judgment. Why should he say I lack acting skills!

[T/N: Basically, MC just realized that due to the director's preconceived stereotype about waitresses, he might unfairly judge her during the acting audition.]

???: Indeed, in my opinion, Miss has great acting talent.

A sudden male voice startles me, I turn around and find a gentleman wearing a long trench coat.

He gives me a friendly smile. I recognize his face and realize who he is.

MC: You are... the scriptwriter sitting next to the director!

Lucien: Yes, you can call me Lucien.

Lucien: I just watched your audition, and I feel that Miss might simply not have found her true role.

MC: True role?

My puzzled expression earns a light chuckle from Lucien. Surprisingly, I don't sense any mockery in his laughter.

Lucien: Mm... the character in this play is quite theatrical in her actions, yet there are many delicate monologues. Therefore, it requires an experienced actress to handle it within a short time.

Lucien: For newcomers like you, I do have a role in my next project that you can give a try, would you like to try it out?

MC: What role is it?

Neon lights spread across the gradually thickening night, and the latest jazz music faintly sounds in my ears.

Lucien's gaze hides behind the lenses, making it difficult for me to discern his emotions. I can only see his lips that's full of interest.

Lucien: An aristocratic young lady from an old manor house who has stumbled into the world's most prosperous metropolis.

I pause for a breath half-step step back. It takes a good while before I manage to force a smile.

MC: ....Why do you think I'm suitable for such a role?

Lucien: If I say it's intuition, would you believe me, Miss?

Lucien pushes up his glasses, his tone becoming serious.

Lucien: The awkwardness during your audition, the somewhat old-fashioned and reserved demeanor when wanting to argue with the director, and the expectant light in your eyes when faced with something new…

Lucien: Exactly like the noblewoman I envisioned.

MC: ….

The way he describes this noblewoman, why does it sound like she's a bit silly? I pout.

MC: Such a role doesn't seem very interesting, does it?

MC: Nowadays, what everyone wants to see is a more adventurous and trendy movie story. The "noblewoman" is already outdated.

Lucien: Miss, do you feel that my character isn't popular enough?

MC: Ah, that's not what I meant…

MC: I wasn't doubting your professional writing skills, I was just analyzing the trends of this era.

Lucien: Now, that sounds more like it.

I take a deep breath and glare at Lucien. Only then does he retract his smile and give me a slight bow.

Lucien: Are you upset? Allow me to apologize for my presumption. I'm sorry.

Lucien: I can tell you're a woman with a lot of ideas. I should have sought your input first rather than imposing my own framework on you.

Lucien: So, what kind of role would you like to play?

...He's indeed a strange man.

I'm not a fool; I can certainly sense that this man named Lucien has a lot to say, but it seems like he finds me amusing and was teasing me.

But that last sentence, I can tell that it's sincere.

Faced with an honest person, a truthful response is in order. My curled up fingers run over the fringe of my skirt.

MC: I... don't want to play a role.

MC: I just want to find myself.

-

[Part 2]

=Flashback Start=

MC: Just tell that young master whose name I can't even remember, that I've got smallpox, malaria, and tuberculosis, and I'm about to drop dead!

MC: Let's see if he still wants to marry me!

As soon as the words left my mouth, a commotion erupted in the hall. Even the usually gentle butler, who had watched me grow up, furrowed his brow.

Butler: Miss, the words you're uttering right now are far from ladylike. Besides, it's not respectable for a woman to break off an engagement; you'd bring shame to the family's honor…

MC: It's not the Middle Ages, who still believes in that nonsense?

MC: If I don't pursue my own worth in this golden age, what's the point of engaging in some political marriage? That's when my life would truly be ruined!

I understand that my words were harsh, but I also knew that I couldn't make any concessions at this moment.

The first twenty years of my life were already trapped in this estate. I don't want the latter half of my life to be spent in some secluded castle with some old-fashioned young master.

With this in mind, a plan gradually took shape in my heart.

I took a deep breath, straightened my back, and tried hard to appear more composed.

MC: Not breaking off the engagement is also fine. I remember our family has a property on Long Island. I'd like to move there for a while.

Seeing my tone easing, the butler had no choice but to go along with my suggestion.

Butler: Moving is possible, but how long does Miss plan to stay?

MC: Since you mentioned that it's not respectable for the woman to break off the engagement, then I'll stay until the gentleman is willing to call it off.

-

[Trivia: It's important to remember that the United States does not have a system of hereditary nobility. So MC and her fiance are likely from Europe and went to America for reasons that'll be revealed on this date; whether explicitly or impliedly~]

=Flashback End=

I've been living on Long Island for some time now.

I originally thought that leaving the secluded manor and coming to the world's most bustling city would allow me to smoothly launch my career.

Once I have my own reputation and capital just like those successful women in the newspapers, marriage won't be able to confine me.

-But my plan keeps hitting obstacles.

It's a place where one can strike gold everywhere, but the skills and courage required for "striking gold" seem to be something I completely lack.

Coming for this audition today was simply an attempt to find something I could do for myself.

MC: Perhaps being an actress isn't suitable for me either…

Lucien: Ah, what are you saying?

MC: Nothing.

I lift my head and point to the girls still auditioning in the hall, indicating them to Lucien.

MC: Mr. Lucien, our conversation reminded me of the original intention I had when coming here.

MC: The role I want to play may not be in your script.

MC: If you need actresses, go talk to them, you might find someone more suitable.

Lucien: ….

Lucien shows a surprised expression for the first time, then he squints his eyes slightly.

Lucien: (chuckles) There won't be anyone more suitable than you.

Lucien takes two steps toward me, his figure almost engulfing mine.

The scent emanating from his collar isn't the strong perfume popular in this era; rather, it resembles the ink's subtle fragrance in my grandfather's study.

Perhaps because this fragrance is so gentle and familiar, I don't shy away even though this isn't an appropriate social distance at this moment.

Lucien: I can sense the lady's ambition, what you truly want to play isn't a role on the screen but rather…

Lucien's voice is low and enticing, I can't help but look up and gaze into his eyes.

Lucien: The wicked who can dominate this era.

The wicked?

To be honest, my concept of wicked people only exists in the classical novels I've read.

They are morally corrupt, constantly opposing the protagonist, yet intellectually lacking, repeatedly exposing their flaws and ultimately becoming stepping stones on the protagonist's path to happiness.

MC: ...The wicked you're talking about probably aren't just petty thieves or robbers, right?

Lucien: (chuckles) Of course not.

Lucien chuckles at my remark. He shakes his head, and the pupils beneath his lens are deep and serene.

Lucien: The wicked are always clear-headed; they see the emptiness after the revelry, the dynamics after the financial feast, the dealings after the battlefield smoke clears…

Lucien: The wicked toy with the era, revel in the era, and above the era.

Lucien: Are you interested in such a role, Miss?

Lucien's tone is not impassioned, but my heart starts to beat faster because of his calm words.

I nod gently, then because I'm afraid he might not have seen it clearly, I nod more heavily.

MC: Of course, I do. But I lack experience, and I haven't seen that kind of wicked person in the newspapers….

Lucien: I can take you to experience some examples.

MC: How can I experience it?

Lucien let out a long "Hmm". He calmly takes off the white glove from his right hand and extends his well-jointed hand towards me.

Lucien: Go on a date with me.

MC: Wh... What did you say?!

In this city, it turns out that just chatting for a few sentences can lead to a date?

Seeing my surprised eyes, Lucien innocently tilts his head towards me.

Lucien: (chuckles) Could it be that Miss has never been on a date?

Lucien: That shouldn't be the case. A beautiful waitress like you must receive countless admiration from men.

Oops, I almost forgot I'm still playing the role of a "waitress"!

MC: Sir, actually, I…

Actually, I can now tell him my true identity; after all, I am the daughter of an "old money" family, and he seems to be just ordinary "new money".

But his calm and composed demeanor only makes me more reluctant to reveal myself as the kind of "naive aristocratic girl" in his writing.

I coughed, swallowing back my explanation.

MC: Actually, I have experience, haha!

MC: It's just my first time receiving an invitation from a gentleman like you, and I'm a bit overwhelmed with happiness.

MC: But can you go on a date now? Aren't they still auditioning over there…

Lucien: It's okay, the director will send me the photos for approval.

Lucien: Let's go, my car is over there.

Although I'm a bit confused about how a silent scriptwriter during auditions has such decision-making power, I don't dwell on it and follow him to the car.

MC: Where are we going?

I asked him the last question, and Lucien smiled as he opened the car door for me.

Lucien: Of course, we are going to observe this era.

Part 3 & 4-> [Here]

[avelera]

Random warm-up thoughts as I dive into writing this weekend (ayooo!) but as much as I am a firm believer in bisexual Hob supremacy, the OG fan of it being absolutely inextricable from his essential identity, this man fucks and he fucks regardless of gender...

(And here's where we get into some lengthy Giving Sanctuary Behind-the-Scenes!)

... when I write him in a historical context like Giving Sanctuary I do write him as coming from a time when marriage was simply understood as being between men and women.

Let me explain! (And by doing so, let's also explore what marriage meant historically for much of Hob's life, what divorce meant, and why male friendships really were like that in such a way as to make it very hard for Dream and Hob to parse if the other is interested in them romantically as well.)

To clarify, I don't mean "marriage between a man and a woman" just in some conservative, reductive way. Throughout history, many het* couples didn't bother to get married formally, officially before a priest or whatever in Europe, particularly if they were peasants like Hob, because marriage was a formal affair, more of a business transaction, all about the sharing of property. Marriage wasn't necessarily even romantic or aligned with romance as we'd imagine today. This is a sweeping generalization that's not true across all the periods Hob has lived through, even by 1689, but I just want to make clear where I'm coming from for the next part.

Hob certainly had other life partners before Eleanor, in my mind, but Eleanor was the first person he married with the intention of founding a dynasty, so to speak, sharing property, and having official descendants, as part of his grand plan to sort of pin himself to this world and immortality by having his many times over great-grandchildren by Eleanor to look after over the years.

Hob in Giving Sanctuary still thinks of a relationship between a man and a woman as being... not more legitimate by any means, but as being more formal, having more privileges in terms of recognition by society, and this is not me trying to be a pedantic jerk or make Hob homophobic, far from it. He has had deep, abiding love affairs with men for long stretches of time (obviously for Hob, not a lifetime), relationships he'd see as just as emotionally legitimate as his marriage to Eleanor. Relationships he was probably even open about with his inner circle as being sworn to one another and exclusive. But that wasn't marriage in the historical sense of his time and place pre-1689. That's not the binding of two houses, that's not confirmed by wider society at large, which Hob so hungered to be a part of in the 1500s. Hob would never be against the idea of being married to a man, formally, but it's so far outside his context in the 1600s that the thought doesn't even occur to him as something that might be available to him, especially with regards to Dream, or occur to Hob that Dream might consider it as an option with Hob.

(For the record, Dream is part of a supernatural world that would absolutely see marriage between two men* as totally legitimate, but Hob does not know that and it would blow his mind to learn that Dream is metaphorically doodling the seating charts for their grand eldritch wedding as we speak.)

Which brings me, first, to Calliope and Hob's borderline masochistic insistence that she be the one to go to Dream when he's grieving, to patch things up and maybe get back together and forgive each other. Keep in mind, Hob also lives in an era where divorce was practically unheard of except for annulments due to lack of consummation or because of adultery, along with a few other very rare and very expensive exceptions. Divorces were quite hard to achieve. To Dream, when he says Calliope is his former wife he means it in the modern sense of they are divorced, something that was legal and regularly practiced in say, Ancient Rome, so Dream is very familiar with the concept. Hob, less so.

So one very subtle miscommunication happening when discussing Calliope is that when Dream says "former wife" he means it in a very final sense of "legally" divorced, separated, no longer a family unit. Hob, however is hearing something more along the lines of "separated" - they had a child together so non-consummation is clearly not present. She was a wife, not a partner, she was a goddess so it was a binding of houses, a contract. To Hob's ears, he's hearing that Calliope and Dream no longer live together but that doesn't preclude Calliope moving back in down the line and simply resuming the marriage where it left off, particularly since she does not mention having remarried or found another partner since then.

And furthermore, this woman/goddess is the mother of Dream's (deceased) son! She has precedent over Hob as Dream's lover. If she shows the least interest, or if Dream did, Hob would bow out in a heartbeat (a brokenhearted one, of course). Because that concept of man/woman* marriage being somehow more legitimate, more open, more accepted, more formal applies here. He could still, in theory, be Dream's lover on the side if that were to happen, not that he dares hope for that, but if Calliope returned, the agreement to tend one another might even be in jeopardy, because the whole "helpmate" thing is built into the concept of marriage.

One reason for Hob's obsessive insistence on being Dream's friend and being sworn to tend him is that it keeps the door open to staying by Dream's side, albeit in a more limited capacity than now, is if this estranged wife ever decided to return. He could still at least have a claim to some fraction of Dream's time as his friend if that were to happen. Calliope really did need to insist that she has zero interest in ever returning to Dream, yes, that many times over and then force the issue by refusing to go to Dream's side to comfort him before Hob really understood that this marriage has been truly over for the past 2000+ years and not just temporarily suspended.

Now, speaking of Hob's claim to being Dream's friend, another perhaps subtle, almost invisible element of this story that is hard to comment on within it because it would be as natural to Hob (our POV) character as breathing and therefore not something he'd mentally comment on, is historical male bonding.

Much of why it's not obvious to Hob (or Dream) how they feel romantically for one another is because both are from a context of a pre-Puritanical, pre-20th c. homophobia mindset as far as male closeness. Men historically embraced, held hands (yes, sometimes to show they were together so they wouldn't be seen as easy targets for mugging, a practice still common in parts of the world today!), shared a bed together, and spoke of one another in effusive, indeed quite romantic terms. Just look at some old epics where men swear themselves to their comrades in arms, the fact that Achilles/Patroclus was considered debatably platonic relationship at various points of history, not just because commentators were being dense but because loving your male friend so much that you wanted to die without him was just kind of something guys said in many warrior cultures. Many aggressively (by today's standards so * needed) heterosexual, macho, warrior type men thought it was effeminate to love their wives too much and not prefer their male friends and not as sexual or romantic partners necessarily.

My point is, when Hob says things like how wearing Dream's colors would just make the outer appearance match the inner heart, he's speaking in the way men talked about their close friends or even their superiors, a beloved liege lord, back then. He doesn't think he's saying anything particularly romantic, and indeed, for his context he isn't saying anything particularly romantic! Even sharing a bed or cuddling for warmth wouldn't necessarily be seen as explicitly romantic or sexual. Men were just more demonstrably close to one another in many eras he lived through.

Hob has not, to this point, outed himself as in love with Dream at all despite all the (by modern standards) romantic stuff he's said or all the times they've cuddled or touched one another. Everything they've done could be seen as just them being very close, but nothing has been romantic or sexual in any way that would necessarily be questionable for that time. And that assumption of Hob's, that all the affection they've shown to one another is plausibly platonic, is doing a lot of heavy lifting right now, combined with his own insecurities after 80 years of suffering and privation, for how and why he doesn't see anything that has happened between him and Dream as being the greenlight to make his also romantic and sexual interest known.

Dream is just bad at emotions and expressing himself, which is why he's been too dumb to use his words and ask for what he wants yet, lol. But! He is also aware of this effusive male friendship culture (Shakespeare's works are littered with it!) so he too has not seen any behavior that he would take as the greenlight to make overtures or declare his romantic interest clearly enough for Hob to not feel he's misinterpreting based on his own desires.

But we'll get there ;)