#i don't give a FUCK about his legacy!!!!! who the fuck cares he's already dead. it won't hurt his feelings

[beauzos]

reading Custerology, and two things:

it's extremely funny that a lot of contemporaries writing about him positively can't help but call him girly for like. having long hair and being particular about his appearance. like there's multiple quotes about him that basically just boil down to "he's sooo girly but also he's sooo badass he's awesome i love him". ok.

at one point the author contrasts "Custerphile" with "Custerphobe" and it made me laugh really hard. with YOUR help we can increase the amount of Custerphobes in the world!!!

[allthatmay]

how u charactirize the relationship between garp & ace? i personally think theyre quite complicated cause they love each other to the end of the world but also ace needs the touch of someone who is gentle enough to not break the fragile inside of his shell, which is something garp is just NOT dealing with. its a vicious circle where ace believes its his own fault for being so difficult while garp feels frustrated as he watches his grandson dig deeper into the hole.

this has been a bit of a ramble ... my apologies.

No, please, I love rambles! Rambling together is literally one of my top communication methods!

Right, so, I love Garp. He's such a shithead, but that's exactly what he's supposed to be. I mean, in the grand scheme of things, he's the reformist who can't stomach admitting that the entire system is flawed. Up close, he's a 'tough love, pull yourself up by your bootstraps, this is the way the world works' kind of guy, but he has to be like that precisely because he's a reformist. If he weren't like that—if he ever elected to wake up and smell the government-sanctioned genocide—his entire world would collapse, and he would have to face all the monumental, misguided fuck-ups he's made. If he's not a good man who has always tried his best for the sake of justice (however cruel that justice may be), then he's just a coward whose inaction (and sometimes direct action) has actively hurt his own family, and he can't face that.

Garp's relationships with Luffy and Ace reflect his thinking so clearly, but especially with Ace. Ace is a symbol of everything that goes against the system Garp is upholding, but he's also a victim of that system; it's more convenient for Garp to sequester him away and tell himself everything will be fine than it is to admit that Ace needs more. In my eyes, Garp absolutely loves Ace—in fact, I think his handling of Ace is so poor because of how much he loves him; Garp and Roger were friends, and Ace is his legacy.

Like you say, it's absolutely a viscous cycle between them. Garp, having all these complicated feelings, tries to prepare Ace for the people who will undoubtedly have similar feelings. Ace, a young boy who already feels like he doesn't fit in the world (no thanks to his unconventional upbringing), spirals every time Garp refuses to step up for him. I think a part of Garp hopes he can scare Ace into joining the Marines but, of course, he does the exact opposite.

As for Ace, he definitely loves Garp, and that's why I think Garp really did a number on him. Of course, Ace has Dadan, but she isn't a great parental figure. (Don't get me wrong, I love her and I know she loves Ace, but she's more like that cool, older babysitter that doesn't give it a shit what the kids do, as long as they're not dead.) Garp is the one who's supposed to be looking after Ace, and Ace knows that. He sees the lack of effort and care, and the way Garp can't really look at him. I bet Garp's infrequent comings and goings were harder for Ace to bear than simply being left alone.

This isn't even acknowledging that Garp's treatment of Ace isn't just neglectful, but absolutely callous. Telling a young boy that "only time will tell if he deserves to live" isn't just fatalistic, it's fatal. Ace takes this message to mean, "No actions I can take will have a bearing on the worth of my life," so he's robbed of his hope, of his desire to live; he thinks everything is pre-determined by the people around him, even his identity.

(Yet Ace goes about his life with utter patience and kindness anyway because he knows what it's like to go without them and he's desperate for love. God fucking damn it, Garp. You broke the boy.)

Anyway, I could go on, but I've said enough. Geez, now I'm the one apologising for rambling so much! Sorry! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

PS. I know I said in another ask that my favourite characters were Ace, Luffy, Shanks, Mihawk, and Robin, but... I think Garp is up there, actually. Then again, so are Jinbe and Law and Kuma, so, really, I'm just full of shit.

[kamiko1234]

Alrighty, I just got to the point of Chapter 13 after they talked to Luke and BOY DO I HAVE THOUGHTS. So , can we talk about how straight up unserious Percy is ? Like you NOTICE that this is a kid. Buddy is out on a mission to basically save the world, going around telling Medusa he and his friends are orphans having been left behind by a circus and sightseeing XD Say what you want but that kid is funny af. Love that for him. The whole Medusa thing was CREPPY tho, like- Grover fr just found what basically is his dead uncle's corpse ???????? That's honestly fucked up. (The Uncle Ferdinand jokes were funny as hell tho) I do hold firm onto the believethat the gods are sort of dicks tho. Like, honestly ? I'm surprised there wasn't a half blood revolution yet ! Those poor children are treated HORRIBLY by their parents ! Not to mention that they also gotta deal with all sorts of monsters just because they are the kids of that one specific god. Ngl if I was a demigod I'd be ready to straight up overthrow the gods. Or atleast sue them for all the child neglect they did. Like, damn there seems to be little to no resentment against the gods on the side of the kids besides Percy. How'd that happen ? Does Camp Halfblood just have really good therapists to deal with all that trauma and to keep the kids from going , idk, crazy ? Or do they just flood them with propaganda ???? Idk, just seems a bit weird to me how everyone seems to like the gods when so far most couldn't care less so far OR are doing the bare minimum. The only thing more surprising to me than the fact that no one hates the gods, is how surprisingly well I can get on with the first-person POV ? Like, I JUST realized that. It's just THAT good. Normally I don't rly like first-person , but honestly this is the biggest expection so far ! Percy's POV is just hilarious. Kinda nervous about his dreams tho, idk what to make of them.......... But also, OMFG GROVER WAS THE GUY WHO BROUGHT ANNABETH. Damn does every character have trauma here ? Poor lad. On the topic of Grover tho, that whole backstory with Pan gives me BIG tingels for my traitor theories. When he went on his little rant about humanity and how they ruined nature, he very clearly called Percy human. He sees Percy as part of a group he seemingly dislikes to atleast some degree.

Grover also has a sort of legacy he thinks he needs to fullfill ? With many (if not all) members of his family having been seekers. Like, what if Pan IS actually dead ? Or atleast in the underworld, and that is why no seeker has ever returned ? Maybe Hades manages to get Grover to betray Percy by offering him Pan ? It is Grover's dream while also being very important to his entier species. It looks like a good motivation for me. Otherwise I rly like the backstory for Grover we have so far. The author did a great job in fleshing him out tbh. He really went from a droky comic-relieve sort of guy to something..... honestly depressing. I really wonder what happened to Pan. But I do think he's most likely dead or somewhere in the underworld, with Hades being the big bad it would think. ANNABETH GOT A HINT TOO THO, during the Luke talk he did mention that you'd have to be invisible to get the Master Bolt. And the Athena Cabin already picked the side against Poseidon when the camp started to splitt. The motivation for her would still stay the same ofcourse, her godly parent. Personally I do still favor Annabeth as traitor, but it could simply be that I just had the theory about her for longer. Honestly both have solid bases for it and I'd be interesting either way. I'm about halfway done now, so I doubt a thrid character will be introduced now to be the traitor. If a new character IS introduced tho, they'd props be the prime suspect for me. But also, thank you Luke for being one of the MOST reliable character in the story so far. Anytime you show off smth good happens for me (either entertainment or more hints for my theory). BUT ALSO HIM CALLING ANNABETH HIS LITTLE SISTER ? ALKQOPÜREINA THAT'S SO CUTE LIKE ????? ugh ngl now I sort of hope it ISN'T Annabeth bc her betraying them would BREAK Luke's heart T-T. Just let them be happy, please. That's all I ask. Let my fav big bro be happy. Please.

[familyagrestefanblog]

They actually did it

Fucking christ I was RIGHT! They even went so far as wiping out Adrien's memory!

We're back with Chat Blanc.

That's what made Chat Blanc such a unreliable narrator, I made a post about that YEARS ago that Blanc eventually wiped out his own memories with only his love for Marinette left in all that horror while Hawkmoth having been the monster who got him. That's why he incorrectly blamed their love for having ended the world, that was all he could remember as we even saw once he detransformed!

I do not have time to write about this today but this is the worst possible outcome! We are absolutely FUCKED! "Representation" was already a combination of "Chat Blanc" and "Ephemeral" because they were never avoided in the first place and now for the rest of the finale every bad consequences we just sidelined for seasons on end! "Chat Blanc", "Kuro Neko", "Ephemeral", the entire season 4 finale!

How DENSE do you have to be to think that Gabriel Agreste gave Marinette his BLESSING?? She literally told him right in his face that "fOr ThE gReAtEr GoOd" she will let Adrien as an orphan pay for all his family's sins right after the man had a whole mental breakdown of 5 seasons of build-up because he was THIS aware of incompetent and horrible of a father he was!

He was WILLING to give her his blessing and Marinette fucked it up in every way possible! What the hell does Gabriel give a shit about the greater good?? The only thing he cares about is himself, his wife, Adrien and Nathalie! Marinette told Gabriel that everything he loves, is, was, worked for and wished to safe can go and fuck itself because for the greater good she decided that HIS SON is now going to go through every hell that's waiting for him and she didn't even care to ask what that hell will BE!

She just signed Adrien up for it and expected Gabriel to be okidoki with that?

Gabriel Agreste made the wish. It doesn't matter what excuse Marinette has, all that matters is what GABRIEL thinks. And for him she is the enemy of everything he loves and regrets having failed this horribly! What makes you think Gabriel Agreste gives a SHIT about anything else?

Why are you trusting this man?? Gabriel's love is and has always been the worst thing in Adrien's entire life!

What do you think is gonna happen now?? Gabriel made himself a martyr and wiped Adrien's memory of having been horrible while simultaneously the cover story is that Gabriel Agreste died heroically defeating Monarque by Ladybug's side because Chat Noir wasn't there and his son Adrien was kidnapped!

Adrien is gonna fucking blame himself for his father’s death! He thinks he failed his father! Adrien was created out of Emilie's love for Gabriel, Gabriel is counting on Adrien being the only person who would want to bring him BACK! We were RIGHT reading it like that in "Passion"!

Gabriel KNOWS that he can't force either Adrien himself, Marinette, Nathalie or anyone to break apart but if he takes Adrien's memories while everyone remembers how shitty of a father he was to him than Adrien will want to distance himself from them by his own CHOICE!

What the fuck is Marinette gonna do when Adrien now obviously want to go back into his fathers business because he can't remember why he left in the first place and now he wants to make it up to his dead father by stepping into his role and continuing his legacy! You think Marinette crying a bit and saying "I don't want you to work as your father's successor, you don't have to be like him!" is gonna do it??

Adrien is gonna CHOOSE to go back because from his perspective what he's doing is good no matter if his father wasn't perfect and she's just really not being understanding and unsupportive. Telling him to choose himself "but not like that!"

Fuck, im short on time, but I will scream and shout about this forever! What are you guys WATCHING that this is good? Marinette turned into an easy two-for-one kill without Chat Noir, she NEEDED him and now she lost!

Adrien/Chat Noir was NEVER saved and now his insane father GOT him! The new universe started with Adrien waking up, NOTHING before that happened no matter what other people including Marinette herself think they remember! It never happened! The universe started with Adrien and Marinette kissing him awake because Gabriel WANTS her to think taht he gave her blessing or at least what he did wasnt so bad and for good intentions so she doesn't try undoing it before it's too late!

Can you stop being so naive? Why are you trusting and insane and abusive villain father who HATES you to do you JOB?

[early20sfailingplenty]

ok ok question

do you think Trudy ever got a proper funeral (before the whole church set up) or was that her funeral? do you think the brothers do anything on her death or funeral anniversary?

You know... I'm torn about this one.

On the one hand, I can kind of see Bo wanting to plan a proper funeral so he and Lester ransack all the houses in Ambrose to pool together resources they'll need, with Vincent carrying out typical mortician and/or funeral home work on Trudy. I can kind of see them giving her everything they can, which isn't much, but at least they didn't leave her to rot where she died.

OR, and this is the one I prefer -

Vincent, Bo and Lester banded together, set up the funeral in the church like it is how we see it in the film, Vincent set Trudy up like one of his models, and then their funeral was nothing more than lighting the candles, putting up some of the religious stuff within the church (none of them are men of god, it's just performative and to make it look believable; I think they were already killing by the time Trudy died), and then they just...

Left her there.

She never cared about any of them so why the fuck should any of them care about her, you know?

Bo stands over her open coffin sometimes and lets all his words, all his grief and pain and agony over the way she raised him and his brothers, he lets it all pour out. He's a bit drunk (read: a lot drunk, because Lester and Vincent have to work together to scoop Bo up off the altar and he doesn't make it easy for them), he's swearing and kicking her coffin and pacing the pews like a caged animal, he's shouting and crying and he's pissed. It's catharsis, it's reliving trauma, it hurts so fucking good because daddy can't hit him now, daddy can't carry him away and punish him for telling the truth, punish him for existing. Bo doesn't grieve so much as he celebrates.

Lester is the only one of the Sinclairs who does grieve.

Vincent celebrates the fact that now, no one is hurting him and his brothers, he can do what he wants with his craft, he can carry on his momma's legacy. I think he's the mastermind behind the whole thing, honestly. He doesn't care that his momma's dead, he just cares that now, he and his brothers are free.

Except, they're not. A gilded cage is still a cage.

On the death anniversary, the brothers sit and drink and spend time with each other - hours more than they already do. They only have each other. On the funeral anniversary, Vincent spots a few more kick marks around Trudy's coffin. Bo never up-ends the coffin; his momma don't deserve that kind of energy being spent on her, and he doesn't wanna ruin Vincent's work.

Victor never got a funeral. His body was never disposed of. His death anniversary is not acknowledged. Even speaking his name is too good a thing to do for a monster like that.

Trudy was barely better than Victor. Barely. But she was momma, and she taught Vincent what he knows, she made sure that Bo never forgot he was a monster, she made sure that Lester knew how to come into his own because no one cared except his twin brothers. So she gets the barest amount of respect possible.

Not love. Respect. And that's it.

Victor? He don't get anything. No respect, no love, no acknowledgment. It's too fuckin' good for him.

[gojuo]

What are your all time favorite characters from ASOIAF and F&B? 🙏

This answer is so unserious but my number one baby in ASOIAF is ELIA MARTELL!!!!!!! It's so unserious because all we know about her is literally one fucking line of being sweet and kind and clever and that's about it. She's already long dead before the story starts, but I really don't care. The way she is so loved by her brothers, by her nieces, her family, by her entire country, so much so that she is the reason why Dorne is even participating in this silly game of thrones... This deep-set love for her is made clear by how said love bleeds through the narrative all without the POVs of the people closest to her: Doran and Oberyn. It's so fascinating how cherished she is even though not a single POV character stops for a minute to think about her. Ned, Jaime, and Sansa are prime examples of POV characters that have, in some narrative way, a connection to Elia yet she's only a passing thought to them (not even so in Sansa's case). Yet it's so abundantly well-defined how loved and how important she was, even when we only have a maximum of 20 words written about her. It is deeply heartbreaking and compelling to me how this barely-there character, who has died long before the story starts, has this much of an impact on an entire kingdom. And you might be thinking right now, Melda, really? Elia’s worth to you is measured by how loved she was by others? Yeah, well, that's not the reason why I love her this much. I love her the most because she outplayed every single one of them all. She outplayed Tywin. She outplayed Aerys. She outplayed Robert and she did what Rhaegar could not do: she saved her son. She saw to it that the heir to the Iron Throne, her own baby, was whisked off to safety in the hands of her own best friend (Septa Lemore is 100% Ashara Dayne) all during a dynasty-ending continent-wide rebellion. Rhaegar destroyed his house. Aerys destroyed his house. Tywin and Robert put the nail in the coffin and believed they were building a new dynasty for the ages to come, but Elia still managed to outplay them all in the long-run. Her son is now coming back to put an end to the Baratheon/Lannister/Tyrell-dynasty and there will be no salvation for any of them. Elia won.

And that leads me to my second most favorite character in ASOIAF and that is YOUNG GRIFF aka AEGON THE SIXTH TARGARYEN!!!!!! MY BABY BOY DOOMED BY THE NARRATIVE HAUNTED BY THE NARRATIVE AND MOURNED BY THE NARRATIVE..... He will die but he will also forever be immortalized as Aegon the Sixth, The Last Targaryen King of Westeros, and no amount of Daenerys genocidal rage will ever change that. He will be loved by the people and he will be eternally mourned as the Last Targaryen. If only he hadn’t been under Varys’ care, if only he hadn’t been Rhaegar’s son, if only he hadn’t been meant for more… Then he could have embraced his mother’s Rhoynish/Dornish side fully and live in peace for the rest of his life, together with the last of his family. He really could have, but he was meant for much more. He was doomed the day he was conceived when that red star bled through the skies and foretold Rhaegar’s prophecy. Aegon never stood a chance against that. If only he still had his mother with him. Aegon is Elia’s living legacy. He is alive today because of her. She almost died giving birth to him, and then she died protecting him. He never mentions her, but what child doesn’t long for his mother? Her touch is all over him—from within her body he first took shape in, to her life-long best friend who took care of him, to her countrymen accompanying him, to her niece who he will marry, to her brother’s, his uncle, support of him—his mother is in everything surrounding him. The woman that saved him. His name is Aegon Targaryen but more than anything he is Elia s son. And Elia has been all but erased from history yet here her son comes back, not to just bring justice, not to just take back the throne, but to put it down in the history books that he was here, that he is alive, that his mother saved him, that his mother mattered. And he will die, he will, because this is not his Song, because after everything still he is a Targaryen, but he will die and he will forever be remembered as The Last Targaryen King of Westeros, Son of Elia.

Now this character was Mother to me long before I even knew what the fuck Mother was. She was everything to me in the first three books and she will always be one of my most favorite characters of all time: CATELYN STARK. Literally no words to describe how much she meant to me when I first read ASOIAF at my big age of 12 years old. I can’t even explain exactly what she means to me. It just immediately clicked, you know? It shocked me to find out the community vehemently hated her because Catelyn was nothing but sympathetic to me. I understood why she took her anger and humiliation out on Jon. I understood that this was not something to be celebrated but that this was something so very human, something so awful yet so true to reality. I just understood, you know? Her shame, her humiliation, her embarrassment, her outrage, her upset—I understood it all. And I loved her through it all. People like to pretend they would do better were they in her shoes, but that is a lie and everyone knows it. The pain she had to live through everyday put her between a rock and a hard place and the majority of people have the privilege of never having been put in that position. But the people who know, know. And the people who don’t know, will never know. But I knew. I did. I still do. She was so human to me. Like a real person. She wasn’t a made-up character to me, she wasn’t fictional, it was as if she was a person that was a part of my life back in the real world, outside of ASOIAF. I can’t even articulate exactly how, what, why and who she is to me. Just, as a person who existed in this world, who took up space, who was a mother, a daughter, a sister, just a person who lived… Catelyn Stark was everything to me in those first 3 books. Everything. Not a single character and their struggle and plotline had captivated me in the way hers had captivated me. I just can’t explain it. When she died it was like ASOIAF was over for me, like it didn’t matter anymore, I was done with it. Reading her death, experiencing it alongside her… Man, something in me changed, I swear. It was over, in every sense of the way. When Catelyn died, ASOIAF died…

… and then in the next book GRRM introduced to us ARIANNE MARTELL. I gave you 3 paragraphs of melancholy but that’s not gonna be the case for Arianne. Because she is the It Girl, she is an Icon, she is a Legend and she is The Moment. She’s going to win. She’ll have a lil detour of being Queen of the Seven Kingdoms but after that little stint she’ll go back to where she has always wanted to be: Ruler of Dorne. And she will continue to slay as she has been doing since those 2 little chapters in AFFC dropped until the end of time. MY QUEEN. Literally if she (and Oberyn and the Martells in general) hadn’t been introduced after Cat died I would have shelved ASOIAF for the rest of my life. But then Arianne came, she saw and she conquered my all and I’m still here. No sad little mournful lamentation on her character here like the rest because Arianne Martell is going to win. QUEEN.

Sunfyre. That’s my fuckin BABY!

[bringmefoxgloves]

I saw your tags on the Daniel Matthews post and honestly I hadn’t even thought about parallels between Daniel/Gideon and Eric/John…but I’m thinking about it now…*holds out microphone* care to elaborate further?

okay sorry had to go drink some water, get out of pjs, start some laundry, make oatmeal, slice up an avocado, discuss the world and news with my parents, get a nice lil iced beverage for myself (an iced chai latte), and eat the last brownie from a family picnic i didn't attend. listening to no reptiles by everything everything on repeat LET'S GO

so like. this gets long. i should put it under a read more but fuck it. I actually slept last night and woke up before 5am, and have now been up for six hours already, so you're all gonna suffer through this as well. welcome to hell aka my brain on saw brainrot.

This is also kinda based off my tags on this post as well.

But like I said in that post, Saw is about families, made and unmade. It's also about self perception, legacy, and continuation.

John Kramer, in a metaphorical sense, is trying to rebuild his family. He lost Gideon, and he will never have a child of his own flesh and blood, so he improvises.

You can very easily see Amanda, Mark, Lawrence and Logan (but we don't want to talk about him and for good reason) as surrogate children. We joke about this being the worst murder family in the world a lot, but they are in a sense, a family. They're followers of Jigsaw in the real sense, but daughter and sons of him in a spiritual sense, a succession and legacy. And those children, I believe, are his attempts at replacing Gideon in his life.

But like any father with children, John has expectations of them. He wants them as impartial judges, as merciless executioners of his will and his philosophy.

They fail him.

Amanda, who is angry and too emotion driven, too in love with and hopeful for humanity to judge them without letting her feelings get involved. She is too much like a daughter, wanting her father's love and attention above all else. Which disappoints him. John has no love to give her, and has given as much instruction as he thinks necessary. He tests her until she fails, until she breaks and is laying on the floor dead before him in his final act on earth and alive.

Mark, who is in no way impartial, who departs from John's will and directives, who imposes his own overwhelming will on this broken family. He is too much the Cain, the killer of his sister. Too much Nero, killing his mother, Jill, and burning down the kingdom. Too tyrant and consumed with his own passions, but still a perfect mirror for John because he's too much John. John has no choice but to cut the tall poppy, to put down the rabid dog.

Then, there's Lawrence. Lawrence who does follow John's directions, but is in the end, a simple shell, broken beyond repair and an automaton with no heart in contrast to Amanda's too much. He follows, he obeys, he cuts and stitches up those wounds, he bends his will and his passion and his drives to John's unlike Mark. But he's a ghost, a caricature of John and his reputation. Lawrence, the man, never made it out of that bathroom, but Lawrence, the dutiful set of hands, the cutting sword, the walking insurance policy, did.

And, if you include him-Logan. Who is lost to the wilds of the greater world, to war and battle with no bearing on the insular familial cycle of Jigsaw's legacy. He never comes back, and John never wants him back, he has his hands full with the others.

All these willful and vengeful and ungrateful children, who do not accept the gifts John presents them, the paths laid out for them.

But there's the child that never arrived.

Gideon, his unborn son. Gideon, Hebrew for warrior, feller, one who cuts down. Gideon is there in John's mind, constantly, the measuring stick up against which all these children made by his hand, by not by his blood, are judged. Plan upon plan was laid out for Gideon. He was suppose to be John's legacy, his way to outlive himself. He was suppose to be born in the year of the Pig, a child filled with the dreams and hopes of his parents, but never was one to grow up and break their hearts.

He can remain everything John Kramer wanted because he was never alive, never realized fully in all the complexities of every living being. He was the perfect child and could make no mistakes, couldn't rebel.

And that brings us to Daniel.

Daniel is selected, chosen, to be the central figure in the nerve gas house. Daniel, Hebrew, God is my judge, except in the world of Saw, John Kramer is god, isn't he? He is chosen because, in John's eyes, he breaks his father's heart and yet still is the apple of Eric's eye. The nerve gas house is to temper Daniel, turn him into a purer version of an already largely innocent child. He wants to correct the faults he sees growing in Daniel.

John sees Daniel and sees Amanda, the attention seeking child calling for a father's love. John sees Daniel, who holds the potential of both his sons, the wrath of Mark and the duty of Lawrence. Sees what Gideon could have been, and how a son can turn away from a father. He sees Daniel and wishes to show Eric what he sees in Daniel, with a less than successful result.

First, Daniel survives. He was always suppose to survive. John couldn't kill what is perhaps the closest analogue to what Gideon could have been, he never could. And this was suppose to be a lesson to Eric Matthews, to open his eyes to John's idealized expectations of what having a son, a legacy, should feel like.

But, Eric fails. Eric doesn't see what John wants him to see, because Eric was always going to fail. He was a failure from the outset, too consumed by his work, too angry and hotheaded and unwilling to bend. He is a narrative foil to John, two fathers with the same problems.

Eric wants Daniel to bend to him, to obey the rules and structures. Eric lays his hopes and dreams within his son, like John did with Gideon. Eric received his gift of a son, but he's wasted it, in John's eyes. Eric wants Daniel to be upright and better, greater, than him, but he doesn't lead by example.

But neither does John. John expects greatness from his children, but he's not a god, he's just a man, prone to mistakes, just like Eric Matthews, in the end.

They both fail their children.

[tazlory]

The only reason I more than love Jiang Cheng - apart from him being very much my type in both looks and personality (yes, I know, I hate that I like people who mock my very existence too but eh I can't change it) and the very appealing potential of him having a softer side underneath all that prickliness that you have to work through to ever be able to see - has almost everything to do with him being a Sect Leader, or well, being responsible for many people's lives and a legacy and actually doing a great fucking job at it.

Because, personally, I believe that leadership in general, fundamentally changes a person, and I relate a bit too much with people who are kind of forced (peer pressured? put into a position that they know they aren't suited for or don't want at all because of insecurities or something by the expectations of people around them) into that kind of responsibility.

And well, this is the only reason why I disliked wwx being the protagonist (not him as a protagonist, mind you, because he's a wonderful one, just the fact that all the canon events are being told from his perspective) because the leadership thing isn't really explored, and by god, if it had then mdzs would forever be the most perfect work of art in the world in my opinion.

I mean there was potential for it - the 'what if Yilling Wei Sect was actually a thing?' and yes I love that, but a) canon already states that wwx had good leadership skills (and while reading him be a total badass in politics because of his observation skills would be really fucking delicious, I think I would want to read more about fucking up - something that you're truly at fault for - and then dealing with its consequences) and b) that neither he or the wen remnants survive the mob mentality thing long enough for it to be a concrete enough idea. I get why it didn't become a thing in the time they did have, because they just wanted to be left alone man. ah fuck here come the tears-

As far as I remember, Yunmeng Jiang as a sect flourished? (correct me if I'm wrong) and even if they had the advantage of 'being the one to get rid of the evil demonic cultivator even after having such personal ties' with how easily public opinion can be changed, I doubt it would have lasted long, especially in the face of Jiang Cheng's constant terrible personality so in the 13 or 16 years when wwx was dead, it wouldn't have meant much.

Which brings up the question of "how the fuck is Yunmeng Jiang still standing then if Jiang Cheng is majorly responsible for making the decisions" Only reasonable conclusion? Jiang Cheng was a good leader.

Again, being a good leader long-term does not equal being a good person (like jiang cheng was a good leader but he wasn't a good brother or a friend) but it does mean you have to be a decent human being that can empathize with other people, specifically the people you have to take care of, which means no, despite being an antagonist - Jiang Cheng wasn't a monster of the likes of Wen Ruohan and Jin Guangshan. He wasn't a tyrant (as far as I've interpreted, because I dont remember reading any instance of Jiang Cheng interacting with Yunmeng Jiang or vice versa my brain forgets easily except that they respect him. Not fear him to the point of following orders to protect their lives, because if they did then, while there won't be a war, people working under him defn wouldn't have helped bring Yunmeng to what it is or had been sob and there's no way a Sect can actually thrive with just capable leaders)

So Jiang Cheng, being a good leader, hence a decent person who successfully raised a child (with issues but hey nothing good friends and emotional support in the form of a resurrected uncle and a safe haven like Lotus Pier can't smooth over) is total badass for it too-

I'm getting off track but the point I want to make is that, I would give up my limbs to read any good content about Jiang Cheng fumbling through leadership and its burdens during those years wwx was dead and actually doing a good job (i mean, with his circumstances though I defn believe for every important battle he won, there were some battles he lost too)

It doesn't even have to be about Jiang Cheng - though I do have a soft spot for him, and I think that's major because while he was the antagonist in canon, wwx loved him for whatever reasons, and because of those nameless reasons, i fell in love with him too - anyone in a similar situation would be very fucking interesting.

NMJ -> similar in personality and circumstances to Jiang Cheng, with the added conflict of Wen Ruohan being alive and all the possibilities that brings in, handling a sect, raising his brother and being a general of a fucking war in his what? TWENTIES? and then dying, remembered as a righteous man (with generally no complaints or bad gossip) who died tragically? BRuh. Nmj is amazing. I love him.

LXC -> Since his personality is wildly different (kinda similar to how I think i would personally be as a leader ngl and maybe that's being kind of arrogant, but then again there are critical downsides to his methods) because there are expectations. Heavy ones, and ugh do expectations suck. jc and nmj may have like, lost the people whose opinions matter most to them but lxc hasn't, and the idea of him being terrified to someday make a bad enough decision that he wouldn't be able to face his uncle or his sect again hits me right in the feels. But he's a good sect leader despite of it, and that's very sexy of him.

NHS -> okay he's shit at being a leader. I have to say it. Nhs you defn fucked up. Unlike all the previous sect leaders, and unlike wwx, your reasons for doing what you did was personal revenge and it ruined your sect. But you know what? I love you for it. I love that you ended up doing things to avenge a man who would rather have chosen to die as painfully as he did again than be avenged through those methods. The idea of you not being able to ever look your brother in the eyes if he ever came back because of what you did, and then not regretting your terrible actions because its not like he's ever going to, is he is fucking painful and I live for it. You are defn not a decent human being, maybe the in between the extremity of wrh and the gray jc/nmj/jgy, but yknow what? I dont give a fuck. I love you.

JGY -> again wildly different but honestly I feel the same about him that i feel for Nhs. Quoting what I saw in a comic the other day, "a-yao deserves a little murder-"

Jin Ling -> i think most of the things said about nmj and jc covers him lol

Well this was a mess, but if you made it this far, please this is all a cry for help and maybe some begging as a last resort to suggest fics along this theme, because I am craving and searching and coming up empty-

if you have fics please recommend some T__T I will forever owe you my emotional stability

[songofthebrownbuffalo]

Who sings which part in Kaboom?

Kaboom is the finale and an ensemble number, but so far it's only ever been performed by solo artists, which means we don't know how the song is divided up.

I'm pretty sure it's set at Hunter S. Thompson's funeral, or sort of using the funeral to frame characters coming together across time and space. Why the funeral? Because Hunter S. Thompson had his ashes blasted into the sky with fireworks for his funeral- kaboom!

Here's how I think the song is divided up based on what I know about the musical and characters so far:

I never cared about caring much before

I rolled my eyes and even texting was a chore

I was your average heartless kid

Then one day Mrs. Werring handed me a book and said

"Here, read this book. The book is by some guy who's dead"

I read it and I'm glad I did

It was by a person who I never knew, but the words made sense and the message, too

And it made me fired up and made me care

And I wasn't scared, I was not alone

Made me wanna make something of my own

Something wired up that I could share

And that person I would never see, just totally affected me

Is that legacy?

I assume

Kaboom!

I think this first part is sung by the mysterious "Kid". He's featured on the character/cast list fairly prominently and we know he has an important conversation with Hunter. Because that dialogue seems to happen between the kid and a deceased Hunter in the afterlife, it would make sense for the kid to be old enough to be growing up with texting and call Hunter "some guy who's dead" (assuming the book in question is Fear and Loathing). Furthermore, the Kid seems to embody what legacy means (based on the dialogue) so it would be very fitting for him to bring up legacy in Kaboom.

I never cared about fireworks before

I thought that they were just for babies, nothing more

I was your average fucking kid

But then I started giving things a second look

And realized fireworks were kind of like that book

And I'm really glad I did

'Cause they're a thing that you hold in your hand

And they're dangerous, but you understand

If handled with intelligence and care

The explosion and the crashing sound can be seen and felt for miles around

It reaches folks who weren't even there

Even though I didn't see the blast

I watched glitter in the sky blow past

And that's legacy

The bloom

Kaboom!

I'm fairly sure this is sung by a different character and the reference to the book isn't the kid saying "fireworks are like the book I read" but rather another character going "fireworks are like that kid's book". But I could be wrong and the ensemble part of the song isn't happening until much later. If that's not the case tho, who could be singing here?

My crack theory is Oscar Acosta. He was missing/presumed dead by the time Hunter's funeral happened, but I've really set my mind on the line "Even though I didn't see the blast, I watched glitter in the sky blow past" being sung by him. Either meaning "I was dead by the time the funeral happened but I still could see the impact from the afterlife" or, and this is my personal favourite crack theory, he was not dead but still in hiding and snuck to the funeral. He couldn't attend properly so he didn't see "the blast" but he could see the glitter of the fireworks from a distance. But I already did establish that this isn't literally set at his funeral (the Kid wouldn't be present there either) so ultimately it wouldn't really matter. I just like the theory. Also he's probably the most vulgar character so giving him the f-bomb in the song also works.

I look around and think about the stage I'm on

And whether anyone will notice when I'm gone

What do I leave behind?

Which is why we gotta make a spark

Which makes a flame and then will leave its mark

For someone else to find

Here is where the song gets difficult for me. This almost sounds like a conversation between characters, but it could be a single person. I'm hoping the spark/flame motive will pop up in a different song so I could connect it to a character. The line "I think about this stage I'm on" is very meta, so it could even be one of the actors, perhaps Hunter's actor, stepping out of their role for it. But the part could also belong to the next part:

And that person who lived dangerously

Makes me braver than I used to be

And I always squeeze my bloody heart

And now I'm fired up in how I care

And I let it drip into my art

And, wow, I'm fired up

I see a flare

This part I'm sure is sung by Ralph Steadman, because the line "And I always squeeze my bloody heart and I let it drip into my art" is a callback to Steadman's Song.

Since this is also where the song transitions it's hard to tell who sings all of it. It's possible not all of this is Steadman. I think especially the first 3 lines sound like they could be coming from someone else. If every character gets to sing in this song (which isn't sure) this part and the previous one could have character switches between almost every line. They do have enough of a disconnected feel to them that I can imagine it.

And the light that shines on the distant shore

Is the light I will be aiming for, forever

So bright

There's a great, green light

Across the ocean

And it's where I want to go

There's a great, green light

Across the ocean

And I'm gonna reach it

This I know

There's a great, green light

Across the ocean

And it's where I want to go

There's a great, green light

Across the ocean

And I'm gonna reach it

This I know

Oh, on with the wonderful show

Kaboom!

Kaboom!

Kaboom!

I think this is, at least partially, Hunter, and to a considerable amount ensemble. I already talked about the importance of The Great Gatsby to Hunter in the post from earlier and the green light is a pretty clear reference. Right now I can't imagine a character other than Hunter himself singing this.

There are obviously still a ton of characters missing. I think the verses are probably more divided than I have them here. But without more callbacks like the one to Steadman's Song it's really difficult to assign lines. I assume with more songs and dialogue coming in, it will come together more over time. But I wanted to give a status update on where I currently stand with my theory.

[verobatto]

Destiel Chronicles

Vol. LXXXVIII

It was a love story from the very beginning.

The Empty is Coming (Part. II)

(12x18)

Hello dears! How are you feeling for tonight's episode? I'm not ready...

Okay, i had to make a whole meta for this episode for the huge symbolism related to Sacrifice and the Empty.

Castiel walking on the Empty, a prelude...

When episode 12x18 starts, we have another dar forest, representing the Empty, and a young guy named Jorred walking on it...

If you pay attention, he wears a brown coat, blue pants. Is a blatant Cas' mirror, and the obscurity surrounding him, symbolizes the Empty.

Jorred gets trapped and then dies.

Where's Cas? Is reaching a high level of worrisome

Dean tries to call Cas but... He can't. So, all theses days he didn't have news about the angel and he is reaching high levels of worrisome.

I wrote an entire meta about this episode time ago, I don't want to be repetitive, so i will be quoting here things I already put in that meta. You can find the analysis here.

DEAN: Come on. Cas, it's me. I've been trying to get ahold of you for days. I don't know what's going on, but we got a line on Dagon...And we got our asses handed to us, even with the Colt. So...Could really use the backup. Call me back.

Dean is mad at Cas, first because he is pointing at he have been days trying to get ahold of him (remember Dean praying to him every night in Purgatory?) and then he is mad because he doesn't know what's going on with Cas. So basically, he is mad because Cas is not calling. Is not giving living signals.

SAM: So no luck with Cas, huh?

DEAN: Yeah, still AWOL.

SAM: All right, so let's find him.

DEAN: I've been trying, Sam. The GPS on his phone is turned off, and there's nothing in the system about some weird guy in a trench coat getting arrested or turning up dead.

This is the thing here, he reveals another details of why he is mad and worried, because Cas turn his GPS off! That means that maybe he doesn't want th to find him. And then, Dean is saying HE SEARCHED FOR HIM IN HOSPITALS AND POLICE INFO LIKE? Yeah... A little kind of desperate.

And if you pay attention bro the pic, you wikl find how worried is Sam watching his brother in that shape.

SAM: Right. Dean, it's Cas. I mean, this isn't the first time he's dropped off the map, you know? And whatever's happening, he'll be fine. He always is.

DEAN: Yeah.

This scene is very rich in body language. Also Sam assuming Cas will always be fine, is like settling the idea that something could take them by surprise anytime about the angel.

But watch Dean here while Sam tries to comfort his brother...

I will quote here what I wrote in my meta about this episode:

"Priceless... Avoiding Sam's eyes, looking to a side, dimples of discontent, that sniffing is like... He is so mad... He just can't stand it. Can't stand CAS not answering his phone calls, not being there for weeks. Not knowing if he is dead or alive. Makes feel so uneasy, he can't control what he is feeling... He is mad, but worried at the same time."

How do I fill this emptiness?

Not being able to have any hint of Cas, and feeling he was being rejected by him, the unrequited love idea hits Dean again.

Is big, cold, hole inside of him, and it needs to be filled immediately. And what Dean does, which will be the last time he does it? He hooks up with random waitress. Why? Well. I will quote here again my insights from the other meta.

"... and I know the fandom had pointed the "Castiel coded coat" this waitress is wearing... Like... "YEAH I'M JUST AN ASSHOLE FOR BEING IN LOVE WITH MY BEST MALE FRIEND WHO WILL NEVER LOVE ME BACK, HE ABANDONED ME AND DOESN'T' GIVE A FUCK IF I'M WORRIED OR NOT. LET'S JUST HOOK UP WITH RANDOM WAITRESS HERE AND HEY! THAT COAT REMINDS ME TO CAS DAMN!"

I want to add the waitress is not just dressed with the coat but with a pink dress too. The pink color will be very called in the incoming seasons. Is a symbolism of happiness. Related to Castiel's deal with the Empty made in season 14, and the ultimate Sacrifice for love and Castiel's love confession in season 15. But in this case, it talks about Dean. Dean's happiness is Cas and viceversa.

Another thing Dean did in this episode to fill the emptiness of his Unrequited Love was eating too much. As he always does. It maybe wouldn't caught our attention if Sam wouldn't watched him with disgust and scolding face.

Sheriff Barret Bishop and the Black Bill legend. (Cas and Empty mirrors)

Look how Sam describes the legend of Black Bill at first:

SAM: And when the fun was over, the satyr would, "feast upon the flesh of his victims until his belly was full to bursting with their moist, slippery meat."

I find this very interesting, because he talks about a party, something they celebrate (an orgy) that could be related with lust, the thing that will taken as a forbidden feelings in Castiel's POV in episode 14x15. And the punishment is became the monster's food. But but, is not the first time we see a monster feeding of people or energy in legends. In episode 14x17, the one that gave me the spec about Dean rescuing Castiel from the Empty, they talk too about this legend and how the mosntrrs feed from his prays. So, is this the Empty's story then? Is he feeding with energy from dead angels and dead demons? Hahaha just a few days and we will know.

Then, Castiel's mirror trying to do his best to change things, but by himself.

Sheriff Bishop: Moloch used his power to make us rich. After my father died in '97, I put a stop to all of that. Look, I couldn't...I never killed anybody. I just wanted to help people to make up for all the bad we've done. I wanted... To leave a legacy. - I kept him locked up. Hoped he'd starve to death.

Okay, this is kind of the idea of what Chuck did with the Empty. The thing is... The monster scapes.

And then we have the Sheriff saying "It was on him"

Sheriff Bishop: You should go.

SAM: No, sheriff, uh, we can help clean up.

Sheriff Bishop: No. This...I'll take care of it. It's on me. This? This is my legacy.

Again a Cas mirror doing the dirty work. It's on me. Is the same thought in Castiel's mind, and we will see it in the next episode.

Winchester's legacy:

SAM: But the people we saved, they're our legacy. And they'll remember us and then I guess...We'll eventually fade away, too. That's fine, because we left the world better than we found it, you know.

DEAN: I wonder what's gonna happen to this place. After we're gone, you think some hunter'll move in, keep fightin' the fight?

SAM: Yeah, I hope so.

DEAN: Yeah. Me, too.

Dean gets out his knife from his pocket.

SAM: What are you doin'?

DEAN: Leaving our mark. Here.

This is a parallel to 15x19, the fake bro ending. The dialogue is also a representation of THE FAMILY BUSINESS.

But you know what they did in 15x19, they carved Cas and Jack names too.

And you know what happened in episode 12x19: THE MIXTAPE OR THE WAY DEAN USED TO EXPRESS HIS ROMANTIC FEELINGS FOR CAS. So, this is another clue for us to think Cas will come back after bro only ending to hear Dean's true love confession. (I'm talking about tonight's episode.)

To Conclude:

More than another foreshadow of the Empty and Castiel's dead, we had once more Dean Winchester's unrequited love inner fight.

This is another proof Dean feels the same way as Castiel. He really feels his love is Unrequited and he will never be able to have Cas in the way he wants.

Even with Castiel's speech in the barn in 12x10, giving Dean some hopes and gifting him with the Mixtape, as a representan of his romantic love for him, Dean is facing now that maybe that confession was totally platonic. And it hurst him. That's why he behaves by trying to fill that empty with sex and food.

But it won't go away until both men complete their love circle.

Hope you like this, see you in the next one!

Tagging @magnificent-winged-beast @emblue-sparks @weird-dorky-little-d @michyribeiro @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @dea-stiel @poorreputation @bre95611 @thewolfathedoor @charlottemanchmal @neii3n @deathswaywardson @followyourenergy @dean-is-bi-till-i-die @hekatelilith-blog @avidbkwrm @anarchiana @dickpuncher365 @vampyrosa @authorsararayne @mybonsai1976 @love-neve-dies @dustythewind @wayward-winchester67 @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @deeutdutdutdoh @destiel-shipper-11 @larrem88 @charmedbycastiel @ran-savant @little-crazy-misha-minion @samoosetheshipper

@shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @mishtho @dancingtuesdaymorning @nerditoutwithbooks @mikennacac73 @justmeand-myinsight @idontwantpeopletoknowmyname @teddybeardoctor @pepevons @helevetica @isthisdestiel @dizzypinwheel @jawnlockwinchester @horsez2 @qanelyytha

@destielle @agusvedder @spnsmile @shippsblog @robot-feels @superlock-in-the-tardis @superduckbatrebel @2musiclover2 @madronasky @anon-non2 @cea1996

If you want to be added or removed from this list, just let me know.

If you want to read my previous metas, here you have the links.

LXXV, LXXVI, LXXVII, LXXVIII, LXXIX, LXXX, LXXXI, LXXXII, LXXXIII, LXXXIV, LXXXV, LXXXVI, LXXXVII.

Buenos Aires, November 14th 2020, 10:30 PM

[misterbitches]

i wish more than anything he could have had this. i love you man

i really fucking do

my love for nirvana and immense respect for kurt isn't something i ever expected. after being a huge fan of jonghyun too as a musician, a person who had things to say, a human being. the people around him. i fucking hate that kurt is gone and i was like...2. i got into hole when i was like 25 really heavily and refused to listen to nirvana. didnt' care about these white boys. but there's a reason why people love this band and why they loved kurt. i get mad sometimes at his death—selfishness—and then i make jokes to deal and cope. we all do with everything. it's just that and this is from a cis person...but i know so many trans people or people on the gender spectrum who have read his journals see him as someone struggling with gender. and after years of thinking and becoming such a huge fan i think that was honestly the truth. i think at this point we're all pretty sure he was gender queer or struggling with identity.

his aversion for oppression, his stand with the marginalized, not accepting racism, homophobia, transphobia BECAUSE THAT IS THE HEART OF DIY (spurred by my black people cos ofc it is and we do everything) and i wish that he could have beeen better.

to me it seems like his pain with his crohns (or wahtever he had) lead to his intense struggle with drugs because that's pretty common when needing pain management. on top of that, his family's history of MI. on top of that, his life being hounded and not being prepared for it (this i think is the idea of white privilege at work and wasn't naive of him necessarily, but...it's just something he thought wouldnt happen to him. that's whiteness at work as who they were as a diy fucking anti pop anti capital punk band. sonic youth said 'we didnt sell out, we made them buy in') and his rship with courtney. he said without court he might be gay or bi.

i won't read his journals, it's too fucking much for me and i dont feel allowed or maybe i will when i can handle it, but i know reading about them and him and hearing the way he changed his songs and his abhorrence for bravado, for men that talk about women as disposable and sex objects, for not being able to enjoy a punk band, for the whiteness and maleness. krist novoselic was a 6'7 fucking bassist and dave grohl is a sizeable dude with hideous tattoos. back then, no one said a fucking bad thing about them. come as you are.

we know that suicide is a state we get into. when you go to a psych ward you see that it's actually calm and an ebb/flow. it is extremely fucking boring. the thing is we don't know if these feelings last forever. we can't go back and time and history cannot change. it was his decision, like jonghyun's, to end his life. but i know there could have been longer. if they got help. i try not to resent courtney especially not now with people being irresponsible and unearthing the FBI report on him. he killed himself but it was definitely emotionally sparred by her and she should have told people what happened weeks before his death.

but no one failed him per se. his suicide note is full of hope and it kills me to see. he should have been able to be whoever he wanted. been a son, been a daughter, been anything.

whenever i hear the changed lyrics or see him in a dress or hear distress i dont know. i wish we didnt lose him but i also know that no one wants to go back to that time. it wasn't necessarily great but it wasn't all bad. and i wish commodity didn't destroy legacy. i wish we werent's so obsessed with the death and gore instead of the liveliness and hilarity of this band and of kurt. and i wish we could talk about him more and the idea that maybe there's so much going on with it; i have many critiques for things they have done, things kurt has done as well.

i'm talking in circles but i genuinely just get bummed. every day he is still dead. but this dude man......i love him a lot. i'm so glad nirvana gave what they did to the world. getting to know kurt so long after the fact is fucking hard sometimes. it is frustrating. but focusing on the positives too or trying to understand another perspective has given me a lot of insight. and i always try and remember that it wasn't just one thing, that nirvana were a band, it wasn't just him, and he could have been better but it just didn't work out that way. it's not solely about his internal pain and the narrative of a tortured artist is suffocating.

he wanted to be a star, make this insane pop song, and when he got it he didnt realize it became everything he hated. he was already struggling and all this shit hit a point. i have mad respect for them still. dave grohl said billie eilish is the kurt of her gen (about 2 yrs ago) and that drives me up a wall for various reasons. antiblackness and class. fuck that. these dudes were poor as fuck trucking it through washington with other bands and the basis is blacness and black art they were trying to fight and make it and give a shit man. it didnt turn out the way they could handle but they were not PRIMIING themselvs for musical stardom. no artist who cares would do that. but if you get the recognition you want because who doesn't, it comes at a price too.

this is why i critique commodity and capital so intensely. i participate, and i will have to as an artist. i don't have a desire to be poor because i've lived a life that gave me space to see what i want to do. i have class privilege (and a lot of debt) and i am grateful. but it isnt like i dont want peopl eto know. it's just that i know that i can't give in and accept and demand nothing and then decide to hoard it to myself. taht money that goes in funnels out and is not for me to keep. there is no trickling down. dont paly yrself.

artists like kurt and in a sense like MF Doom (rapper who only came out to be seen when he wanted to) or DMX even it's like....man u came out fucking fighting to be heard you know. do your thing. make your shit. be amazing. esp black people. DMX had a fucking face for a camera. hopefully i'm gonna watch belly at my best friend's house on the 28th.

i wish everyone who deserves to stay can stay until their body releases them in the most pleasant way as possible. jessica walter's death made me sad, but she was older and i'm so happy she got to live. same with cicely tyson. at the same time, the young deaths over drugs, suicide, accidents....id on't really get it. why is kissinger alive but these people can't stay? how did this come a somber tale of death instead of just i fucking love kurt cobain lmao

he's def one of those ppl that im like u rock. him, robeson, seberg to an extent. hm who else. wong kar wai, jenkins, joe (thai filmmaker whose name i cant spell.) all those people who are running forward on their own and beating their chest. yea i like that. an award is just another award. what matters is possibility and action.

RATHER BE DEAD THAN COOL

[ally-writes-many-things]

Who you are (Hamish Duke) Part 2

Summary: You were an Adepti for The Order but you were also a spy for Gnostic council. The council called you back to Belgrace to spy on Vera after the recent werewolf attacks which is when you find out something about one of your old best friends.

Words: 1611

Requested: Yes

Prompts:

Warning or A/N: Part 3 is when it picks up

You walked into the Temple with a bunch of members running around doing multiple things. An acolyte bump straight into you spilling some kind of mixture all of you. "I'm so sorry Adepti. I didn't see you standing there,"

You were annoyed about it at first but you remembered how hard it was when you were an Acolyte. You half smiled and looked at them. "Look, take a deep breath and relax. I know it's hard your first year but just remember to take a deep breath,"

The acolyte smiled at you. "Thank you,"

You nodded and walked past the acolyte and dodged other members and into Vera's office. "Why is the temple so busy?"

"Coventry,"

You rolled your eyes. "What is he doing now?"

"Elemental Transference, what's all over your shirt?"

Your eyes grew big at the mention of that. "Some acolyte spelled something on me and for who?"

"Renee Marand. What did this acolyte look like? I'll make sure they'll clean up after the ritual,"

You quickly walk over to the chair and sat in it. "Nah, don't worry about it. Isn't she that necromancer that was kicked out?"

"She is,"

"Does the gnostic council know?"

Vera nodded. "Oh don't worry about spying on Coventry. He's trying to find all the pages to the Vade Maecum Infernal,"

"The Vade Maecum is-"

"Dangerous. I know. Edward wont listen to reason,"

You shook your head. "What does this have to do with Renee?"

"Necrophone,"

"The same Necrophone that lets you talk to the dead? I thought that was just some story?"

Vera shakes her head. "No. It's very much real,"

You sat back and started thinking that maybe Vera was right to suspect the Grand Magus but you still were wary to spy on him. Anyone that gets in his way, gets killed and you liked being alive too much to die. "Why does he want it?"

"Something to do with the Vade Maecum and how he thinks that the necrophone will help him find the pages? I don't know and I don't know what he wants with the Vade Maecum either but I have a plan but I cant execute it until after the transference is over,"

"What's the plan?"

"All you need to know is heal Renee, get the Necrophone and find the remaining pages,"

Edward walked into Vera's office and you quickly stood up from the chair. "Yes, Grand Magus. Is there anything you need me to do?"

Edward puts his hand on your shoulder. "You looked more and more like your mother each and every day,"

You were a legacy, that's why you went through the levels so quickly was because you were practicing magic all your life. You've known Edward since you were little. Hell, he took you in after your parents have died when you were tenish. "Really think so?"

He nodded. "Yes. She..both of your parents would be so proud of you,"

"Thank you sir,"

He nodded. "And no, we got everything under control for the time being. We'll let you know when it starts."

You nodded and started to walk out of the office but Vera called you back. "Hold on,"

You turned around and looked at her. She walked up to you and handed you a book. You looked down at it and it was the werewolf manual. "I know we haven’t had a recent attack but you can never be too careful,"

You nodded and walked out of the office and noticed that one of the cauldron was bubbling and Jack was walking away from it. You shrugged because you didn’t know if it was suppose to do that or not since this was your first transference ritual.

--

It had been a few hours since Vera gave you this book and it had taken you just as long to read it. It was a very hard book to read because one it HAD way too much information, drug some points out, and some of it was written in a different language which you had used magic to read. You were just about to stop reading when you read that both human and werewolf forms had a different smell to them. Human form while smells like whatever that human smelled like and the smell of the wolf smelled like warm fur.

You rolled your eyes at the information because that was obvious. You felt your dog's nose rub against your leg. You looked at your dog and smiled as he laid down next to you. You quickly put the book down and went to sniff your dog's fur as he was a wolfdog and his fur was always warm. When you got the smell, you were with a familiar scent. It was the same scent as Hamish, Randall, Jack and Lilith had but your dog's scent was overpowering like theirs were.

Could they really be the werewolves that attacked everyone? Could Hamish?

You were on your way to find Hamish when you saw Jack and Kyle get into a van and drive off. You got back into your car and followed them to a warehouse and saw them start to load people into the back of the van, which you were guessing were the elements. You then see Kyle trying to drive off but something had a hold of the van and then it was let go and Kyle run into a wall. You couldn't see what had ahold of the van cause if you were to move, you would've been spotted. You then see Lilith walking up to Jack's side fully naked. You quickly cut your hand and said the words of a spell that allows you to hear what someone is talking a distance away.

"You wanna explain yourself, asshole?"

"This isn't what it looks like,"

"Really? 'Cause it looks like you're driving five people to their slaughter,"

"I didn't know that,"

"Now you do and we're going to stop it,"

"No, the Grand Magus is after something and I need to know what it. You can't stop it. I won't let you,"

"You think I can't take you?"

"You think you can take Silverback?"

There was a moment of silence before Lilith walked away.

Whose Silverback? Why was Lilith naked?

--

After Lilith had left, you did too. You were confused as to why Lilith wants to stop the ritual and not to mention how she knows about The Order. You got back to campus, you walked into Blade and Chalice, you started to walk the bar when you heard your name being called. You turned and saw that it was Randall waving you over. You were hit with the smell of warm fur again. The same smell you smelt on your dog but more intense. "Y/N! How are you?"

"I'm good. Where's Hamish?"

Randall shrugged. "Probably, doing teacher assistant things,"

You chuckled. You couldn't believe that Hamish had decided not to become a lawyer because that was the main thing he had always talked about. "Fun,"

"So you travelled around the world?"

"I did,"

Randall was about to say something but his phone went off. He looked down at his pocket, pulled it out and read whatever was on the screen. He grabbed his drink and chugged it before standing up. "Gotta go meet up with Hamish and Lilith. I'll catch you later?"

You smiled and said of course.

You waited a few minutes after him leaving before you got up and left to go after him. He had walked a good few minutes into the woods before you saw a house. A house that looked completely abandoned on the outside. You waited till he was inside the house before walked up to one of the windows. You tried to open one of the windows but it was locked. So you did the same hearing spell you did before. It wasn't much of anything but you saw Jack walking out of the woods. You didn't have to move to hide because you were already in a well shaded area.

Lilith started walking down the stairs. "You're such a fucking hypocrite."

Hamish tried to calm her down. "Okay, lets take a breath,"

"You have the nerve to give me shit about eating some monster's heart, but you turn around and drive a van full of people to their death!"

Randall looked at Jack in shock "You what?"

"It's the Elemental Transference. The spell needs willing sacrifices. Five of them,"

"You're supposed to be sabotaging it. Not helping,"

"I did and we were up and running around again in twelve hours."

"Dude...We're you're we,"

"So you failed. You admit it,"

Failed what?

"No. Look, I talked to Coventry. I saw it in his eyes. He's so desperate for this spell, he'll do anything. He'll risk the entire Order, and we need to know why.

Why is Jack telling them this?

The rest of the conversation was talking about what the spell does and how it's possible and how Jack needed to know what Coventry was after.

"Randall, you wanted an inside man. Let me do my job as a Knight,"

That's the second time you heard them calling themselves Knights. What the hell are they talking about?

"Then go,"

You saw Jack nodding his head and walking out the door.

What are the Knights? Why does Jack desperately need to know what Coventry was after? Why are Hamish, Lilith and Randall want to stop the ritual? Why did Jack tell them?

You were so into your thought and didn't hear the window opening until you heard your name. "Y/N?"

You looked up and saw Hamish looking at you.

"Hi,"

[rosierocks30]

Hidden Ch.4

Chapter 4: Don’t let go of me

Levi was sipping a cup of warm tea while sitting on the bench where his subordinates and comrades eat their breakfast, lunch, and dinner. He stared at his wedding ring for a long time. He still couldn’t believe he’s married. Can he be a good husband to Historia or a great father to his unborn child? HIs insecurities started to creep on him. The captain knows for sure if their union was out to the public, it would be chaotic. The noblemen would be pissed off that the queen is not single for one of their sons to take their place as king. Huh...king? Is he now king? Honestly, he never cares about titles and certainly, he doesn’t care about them now. Levi is a man of action; ready to be put in the field to protect and kill anyone harming his growing family. Tch, Kenny probably would be intrigue as fuck if he was alive now. The raven haired man remembered the last conversation he had with his uncle. That time he found out who he really is. An Ackerman. Kennedy made sure to tell Levi enough about their family’s legacy and what became their downfall. 

“You and that other girl are the last of our bloodline. Continue our once great family name...I still don't’ regret the way I raised you. You turned out ok for a scrawny brat when I found you next to your dead mother.” The older Ackerman coughs blood. “Damn, I don’t have much time left. Anyways kid, don’t forget our ancestors are guiding you and the girl...you two will never be alone.” Levi watched as his uncle took the last breath and closed his eyes as death took him away.  

Levi still had Kenny’s death fresh on his mind. It wasn’t that long ago when Levi and his squad rescued his wife and that Yeager brat. Speaking of Jager, he’ll add cleaning chores in the morning. While lost in his thoughts, one of his subordinates, Jean Kristein stops in front of him while regaining his breath from running. “Sir, Commander needs you in the meeting room. It’s urgent.” The light brown haired man did a salute then ran back. Levi gets up to neglect his tea and rushes towards the meeting room. Once he reached there, Commander Hange and most of his squad were already there to gather around Hange. All of their faces have a similar confused but also concerned expression. “What the hell is going? Kristein said it was an urgency.” The captain glares at his commander. “So I got a report that Her Majesty is missing and the intels believe a group of Zeke followers, The Jaegerist, are involved in the kidnapping of Queen Historia. Her Grace ordered a carriage to meet the Premier Zackely for the news of Eren Jaeger's betrayal of joining his brother’s cause. Both the MPs and the Garrisons are in a man hunt to find the queen before it’s too late especially in her condition.” When Hange finished speaking, the room was so quiet that a pencil was dropped. On the other hand, Levi was shaking in trying to conceal his rage. His wife is kidnapped? It wasn’t that long he saw her. Why the fuck did she left the castle at this late hour?! He wants to go find her now and slay that hairy titan bastard and Eren for kidnapping Historia. Oh Walls, Historia please you better stay alive for me and our kid.

So many fears in his thoughts running in his mind. He didn’t realize the chair he was gripping broke from the rage he tried to conceal. “I’ll put an end to both shitheads.” His tone was dark and cold which it left most of the soldiers here in this room shivering. They rarely see their captain like this. The captain of the Survey Corps was about to walk away, but Mikasa ran in front of him to stop him as she gave the man a death glare. “Captain, I won’t allow you to harm Eren. We didn’t get to hear his side of his story.” Levi Ackerman scoffs like he’ll believe that bullshit. He already made up his mind. Slaughter the Jager brothers and their followers then rescue his queen. “Move aside, Ackerman. If you know what’s best for you.” He threatened his subordinate. “Is that a threat, Captain?” her tone mirrored his. Both Ackerman in a standoff ready to attack. The room is thick with tension from those two. Hange finally intervened before things got ugly. “Alright that’s enough for both of you! Levi and Mikasa stand down, and I order you as your commander. Save your hostility for the enemies. Levi, I need you to be level head if we are going to find the queen and bring her home safely. Can I count on you, Captain?” The commander was stern when she glared at both the Ackermans. Mikasa obeyed her superior and withdrew herself from attacking the captain. Levi was conflicted at first, but deep down Hange was right. He needs to get his shot together if they want to rescue Historia. He sighs in defeat. “Tch, yes.” This made Commander Hange pleased. 

“Alright, I already sent the letter to the officials to volunteer in searching for the Jaegarists. Once we find where their hideout is located, we’ll make a stregistic plan to save the queen.” She said as everyone listened. “Ok, have everyone get ready for this mission.” Most of the soldiers nod and go to get ready for the mission. Levi was about to leave, but his commander stopped him. “Levi, wait. I know this news is shaking you to the core, but please have a clear mind, you have a better chance saving your wife. Believe me, I’m upset and worry for her and the baby. Have faith in us. We’ll get her home.” He takes in her comforting words. Yes, he was being irrational before. The only person who understands what he’s feeling is Mikasa even though he was so close to attacking her for being in his way. His head turns to glance Hange and gives her a nod as a thanks then he goes to gear up for the rescue mission. Once most of the Survey Corp soldiers were ready, They all went to meet up where the Mps and Garrisons were located. 

Meanwhile…

The queen’s eyes open to see the room is dark. The only light that shows is the long line crack giving her a bit of light.. She looks around to see if there’s anything to give her clues of the location. Carefully, the pregnant queen walks by the crack of the light and hears mumble conversations. She listens to identify one of them as that bastard, Eren and a deeper voice she can’t identify yet. Her ear pressed against the hard surface to listen better to the conservation. “Do you have to be a bit rough on her? She is carrying a child, Zeke.” He was interrupted by his brother. “Ah yes, the queen is carrying an heir. How befitting for her already thinking about the future of the royal bloodline. No one knows who she chose to be the father of her child.” Eren said. Zeke nods. “We are going to make her confess.” The older Jaeger smirks with malice. “Why is it important we know who the man spread whore herself to? Probably it's a nobody or a fat nobleman.” Eren said, still feeling bitter and hurt from Historia’s rejection earlier. “Don’t be an idiot little brother. If it was either someone who's nobody, she might have said something, but what Yelena told me, little Historia was determined to not let it slip. So I’m giving you the opportunity to get answers from her or I’ll have Yelena to do it. She will give a fast result so don’t screw this up, Eren.” On the other side of the doors, Historia gasps from their conversation. Her mouth covered to stop making noise. It was too late when the doors opened to reveal Eren and his brother, the infamous Zeke Jaeger, the holder of the Beast Titan. The queen already started to slowly back away from those two. “I see you’re awake now, You’re Highness. Forgive me on the lack of hospitality. We rarely have guests here.” He chuckles while seeing the young queen backing in fear like a trapped puppy. Once her back is pressed against the edge of a wooden table, she glances to see a pair of scissors. Historia grabbed the scissor and held it in front of both brothers so they wouldn't come near her. 

“Stay back. Don’t you dare come closer!” She tries to hide the panic in her voice. “Now now Historia, let’s not be reckless. I promise my fellow followers and I will not harm you. You’re more valuable alive than dead. Think of your child. Do you want your distresses to lose the baby?” No, she doesn’t, but all she wants is to leave and be in the arms of Levi to feel safe. As her grip becomes loose, Eren quickly grabs the scissors from Historia. Now she’s defenseless. “Speaking of your unborn child, it's better you tell us who’s the father of your heir?” Zeke observes to find any detail. He spotted a wedding banded around her marriage finger. “I see you are married. Such a disappointment you didn’t invite me. Your only family.” Zeke still smirks. Historia glares at her so-called relative. “We’re not family! To me you’re just a mad stranger.” Her tone was full of venom. “So that’s the reason you don’t love me? You gave your heart to someone else!” Eren abruptly interrupts her. The blonde haired woman raised her brow at him. “Why does it matter if both of you want to know my husband’s name? He’s not your concern.” Historia said. “Don’t give me that bullshit! It’s one of the higher ups? Or someone who I might have known. Definitely not Ymir unless she can magically impregnate you.” Eren said sarcastically and laughed. The queen didn’t see what was so funny about this. While playing the tips of the scissors blades, Eren steps forward to the woman he loves. Zeke was intrigued about what his younger brother was planning to do. Historia was still when the scissors were poking gently on her neck. “E-eren..please d-don’t.” Her whimpers made Eren feel a bit powerful because she’s at the hands of his mercy. “You know, we just need you alive for the plans of you holding the Founder’s Titian. I can just cut your belly to get rid of your baby. That would be the fastest way right?” He smirks and watches how those beautiful blue ocean eyes widen in terror. “But I love you too much to cause you pain. So I suggest telling me or I will do as I say. Don’t test me.” He glares. Eren hates what he’s doing to her. Seeing her in tears, breaks his heart but this is necessary. To make her submit and be obedient when the time is right. “I’m sorry I- I can’t…” Her sobbing eyes look at the green eyed man. 

He growls in frustration. “Seriously Historia?! Why are you protecting your so-called husband’s identity? If he’s some useless guy then you have nothing to fear.” Now the scissors traces down to her belly and slowly and pressure enough for her to freak out. “No! Please I will tell you. I promise to tell you, but both of you will not harm me or my child after revealing his identity.” She now has her hands covering her baby bump to protect it. “Good, that’s more like it. So this guy must be a big shot huh?” The titan shifter looks down at the crying queen. “Alright, we promise you and your child won’t be harmed.” Zeke said and both waited for the queen to speak. “Eren, you have met him countless times...he is in your squad.” This got Eren his attention. “He’s part of Levi’s squad? Hmm, don’t tell me, is Connie or Jean for that matter?” He was in disbelief. “It’s neither. He’s the strongest of all of us including you.” Eren tries to pretend her insults did bruise his ego. “The only strongest would be Captain Levi.” He stopped when she stayed quiet again. Zeke suddenly pins Historia to the wall by choking her. “I get it why you wanted to conceal his identity after all Captain Levi Ackerman is the father of your baby and your husband.” Historia eyes widen while struggling to be released. “Zeke! Let her go! We gave her our word.” Eren tried to convince his brother to let go of the queen. “Don’t you see brother, this whore is carrying an Ackerman. A royal with Ackerman blood will bring doom to us titans and the Eldian’s curse.” 

“How is that a bad thing? We would be all free from being persecuted by the whole world! We won’t be seen as devil spawns and any baby will not inherit the burden of a titan shifter if one of the nine Titans doesn’t get passed on to a successor.” She tries to reason with Zeke. The older man shook his head in disagreement. “No no, the Ackerman is already a bloodline of titans but in human forms! With our royal blood mingle with an Ackerman it will create an offspring powerful enough to destroy our people and the world.” Zeke explains to the queen and Eren agrees with his brother which Historia doesn’t believe what Zeke had said about her child will bring doomsday. “Are you saying my baby will be an abomination?” The blonde hair woman feels enraged by this nonsense. “What full of shit! If that is what it said, show me the prophecy?” She tested them. “It doesn’t matter that you believe it or not. The baby must be terminated.” A woman named Yelena was running to them in despair. “Zeke, the MPs and the Survey Corps are here! We have to go.” Yelena pleads with them to start leaving before they are caught. In the background, you can hear fighting going. Historia takes this opportunity to scream loud to signal where to find her. “Levi! I’m here!” Then her mouth was covered by Zeke as he pressed the sharp object on her neck. “I’ll cut your womb and let that abomination rotten here. So be careful.” Zeke signals his followers to start walking away from the room and goes through hallways. Just when they were about to escape, the exit was blocked by the notorious Captain Levi Ackerman. Zeke went bewilder when he saw him. The scissors were pressed harder which drew a little bit of blood from Historia. Behind them were Mikasa, Jean and Armin. “Eren!! Please don’t go, come back to us. We’ll forgive you. It’s all a misunderstanding right?” Mikasa shouts to beg the person that means everything to her. “Eren, don’t go with him..” Even Armin was begging. 

“Zeke fucking Jaeger, I’m still planning to cut you into tiny pieces. Let the queen go!” The captain growls in anger. His squad position to ready attack. Zeke let out a crazy laugh then gave Historia to his brother. “Make sure she doesn’t escape.” He said. Eren holds her now. Historia starts to wiggle to have enough space to escape while Zeke pulls the scissors apart into two small blades and posts ready to fight. “Levi...Levi, I’m sorry.” The queen looks at her husband and lets more tears fall. Levi hated seeing his wife in tears. It kills him that he’s useless at the moment. Eren knows they won’t be able to escape. “Let’s make a deal. If you let us go, we’ll give your wife back.” Zeke was not too happy but he can see why his brother did it. The rest of the squad were shocked at the news of what Eren said. Levi has to snap them back to reality. Time is precious. “Oi, snap out of it all of you. There will be no distractions. Got it?” His subordinates nodded. Levi doesn’t want the deal but having Historia in his arms safely from them is more important than his bloodlust for vengeance. “Fine, you got yourselves a deal.” He signals his comrades to give the area a big space for the brothers to escape. Before  Historia was released, Eren grabs her chin to press his lips onto hers and roughly kisses her. Of course, both Ackermans were not happy. Historia screamed in displease from the kiss. Her arm became free and slap hard on Eren’s cheek. “You asshole!” The titan shifter chuckles while rubbing. “It was worth it.” Quickly, he starts running away along with his brother and so,em of the followers. The queen was looking down at the ground taking all in from everything that had happened. She felt her hand pull. Before she said anything, Levi stopped her. “Shh it’s fine. I’m glad you are safe. You’re now safe.” He wrapped his arms around her which she longs been wanting to ever since from the kidnapping. Both lovers embrace their hugs not caring they are being watched. A cough interrupts their moment. “Um not to kill the mood but we’re confused on what’s going on between you two and now Jaeger.” Jean spoke while others nodded. Mikasa was too quiet with a broken heart. Armin was comforting her. Mikasa was too tired of Eren not noticing her feelings. Maybe this time she needs to let go of Eren for good. She hopes Carla’s spirit will understand her for breaking the promise. While the two couples were about to explain, Historia felt a discomfort on her abdomen. “Ahh.” She placed her hand on her baby bump and crouch a bit. “What’s the matter with you?” Levi looks concerned. Historia looks up at her husband, but passes out as Levi catches her in his arms and carried. Most of the squads were for her. “Let’s get her to a doctor quickly.” Levi ran the exit as his team followed him.  

Disclaimer: I don’t own the franchise or anything related to Attack On Titan.

[eroticlizardfiction]

thoughts on star wars

Most of my thoughts on Star Wars are actually about the most recent trilogy. I liked the original trilogy they're some of the best scifi movies that are just fun to watch. The prequels aren't actually that bad. There's really awkward and stiff writing and too many boring political scenes that go on forever but there's also a lot of cool world building (ignoring that thing that we don't talk about) and episode 3 was straight up a good movie.

Now the sequel trilogy...

Here's the thing about the sequels, I wasn't born when the original trilogy came out obviously and I wasn't old enough when the prequels were coming out to really care so the sequels were the first star wars movies I got to see in theaters and fully appreciate as they were coming out. My family made it our new Christmas tradition to see the movies on Christmas day and I loved the first two.

A lot of people didn't like The Force Awakens because it felt like they were recycling A New Hope and yeah the plot was pretty much the same but there were so many new elements and interesting characters! The protagonist being an ex stormtrooper getting over brainwashing contrasted with the villain being a Jedi legacy turning dark and killing his own father?? Absolutely brilliant!! Plus the mystery around Rey and her background it was just a really good introduction to new characters while still keeping the Star Wars vibes.

I also really liked The Last Jedi. People say they ruined Luke and that he was ooc but we hadn't seen Luke in over 30 years and maybe it's the religious trauma in me but I think how they handled his worship of the old Jedi ways being his downfall was great and really fit the themes of the first 2 trilogies. The same thing that converted Anakin was the same thing that drove Luke into hiding: the insistence that the force was black and white and that the early Jedi could do no wrong. That emotions and attachments were bad.

All that added with the force connection Rey and Kylo had introduced so many cool new elements and was interesting and good story telling.

But then they had to go and ruin the entire fucking trilogy with the absolute abomination that is The Rise— I can't even say it 🤮 The Rise of Skywalker.

They clearly hated The Last Jedi and so they spent half the movie trying to undo everything that happened in it. They didn't like that Luke was dead so they brought him back as a force ghost like a lot. They didn't like that Rey was a nobody (which I thought made her character so much more interesting) so they... made her a Palpatine??? Which made absolutely no fucking sense. In fact, Palpatine shouldn't have been in it at all or if they really wanted him to show up they should have done more to introduce that concept in the earlier movies. What they did was messy and confusing.

Not to mention that they literally just forgot that Finn was supposed to be the protagonist and just made him some loser who was just pining over Rey?? It's racism innit. God and fuck reylo like I had to physically stop myself from screaming in anger in the theater when they kissed. I literally crushed my popcorn bucket I was so mad. That kiss also singlehandedly ruined Kylos redemption because they made it about being into Rey instead of actually realizing the errors of his ways. Also the "no homo" moments with Poe?? Give me a break.

They took what could have been the best star wars trilogy yet and ruined the whole thing retroactively. I could say more but I'm literally seething thinking about it abd this is already too long but uggh I'm so mad at what could have been but then was ruined with racism, misogyny, and nostalgia.

Anyway

Send me "thoughts on-" asks

I promise they won't all be like this

[bbrandy2002]

The Breakfast Club

Chapter 9:

Don't You Forget About Me.

Summary: The group has an epiphany. Who really put them together and why? Constantine ensures one member of the group won't be a problem anymore.

One more chapter!!!

The Royal Romance AU

Warning: These characters have potty mouths, read at your own peril. They also belong to Pixelberry.

Henry David Thoreux is quoted as saying, 'Not until we are lost do we find ourselves'. How can five people with differing life experiences, walk into a room as wounded, forgotten souls, and together, discover who they are. If ever the fates aligned, it happened on that particular Saturday. _

Life sometimes gives us what we need... Through hardships we find growth

Saturday 4:00 PM Old Palace Library

Sitting on the floor of the old library, an 18 year old with a cold heart and distaste for the crown. His father gunned down years ago by an assasin's bullet and a mother who left he and his sister, to return to the States. A war was waged in him years ago and bitterness won. All he knew now was trouble, booze and anger. He is the commoner.

Sitting to his left is the stunning Duchess of Lythikos. Nearly 18 herself, she has been raised by the King since she was a child. Her parents, traitors to the crown, died atempting to overthrow the monarchy. Contantine has always treated her like an enemy and took every opportunity to degrade her. The only constant in her life was a prince, whom she loves, but, he has never returned her affections in a manner she wants. She has built an impermiable wall of defense around herself for protection, that includes degrading others for self-preservation. She is known as the bitch to many.

Next to her, a young 17 year old from Ramsford with a heart of gold and the life of any party. On the outside, he is funny, outgoing and, perhaps, too kind for his own good. On the inside, he grieves the losses in his life, both in body and spirit. His inabilty to live up to the Beaumont expectations, weighs on him heavily. He sees himself as a failure.

Also, the new Crown Prince of Cordonia. He will be 18 tomorrow and at that time will become bethrothed to his brother's former fiancee, though, his heart now belongs to another. He has wished death would find him so many times recently that he tried and failed to make it a reality. The burdens that he was left with when his brother abdicated, is too much to bear. His father has caused irreparable hurt, physically and emotionally, that fear, now courses through his veins like wildfire. There are no disappointments allowed when you're The Heir.

Next to him, a perky, 17 year old girl, saved from the streets. She has big dreams of moving to New York and making it big. She is held back by a dangerous, family life that included more abuse than many should withstand. Is a girl with her background, naive enough to believe she can save her new dream from being robbed of his? After all, its said that trash breeds trash.

"Why is everyone sitting on the floor?", a seemingly gleeful and renewed Liam asked as he joined them.

A weary eyed Drake rubbed his hand across the back of his neck, "Trust me...its a long story".

Riley leaned over and playfully tugged at Drake's foot, "You seem somewhat calmer than you did earlier, what happened?".

Maxwell couldn't help himself as he grinned, "Let's just say....well....we got totally fucked up."

Liam and Riley looked between the three, all appearing quite relaxed, still eating on the last remnants of sandwiches and fruit the maid brought them an hour ago.

Olivia, now recovered from her earlier high, couldn't help but notice a change in Liam. Knowing he was with Riley the past four hours left a sour taste in her mouth.

"So Riley", Olivia began, "Maxwell tells us he found you on the streets...will you be returning to your park bench tonight or do you think fucking Liam once is enough for another free night at the palace".

"Olivia!", Liam, quickly shot up, dumbfounded by her callousness.

Olivia looked at him with shock, "What? Hmm, Liam...she's obviously looking for a meal ticket and you are falling right into her grubby little hands".

"You're such a bitch!" A furious Riley yelled back, both fists gripped tightly together.

"Damn straight", she sniped.

Drake laid back on the floor with his hands cupped behind his head, "You just can't stop yourself can you Olivia?"

She raised an eyebrow and straightened her posture, "Who asked you...like your opinion matters anyway".

The air became thick with tension and poisonous words. Olivia was hurting and holding on for dear life. The only person who ever seemed to give a damn about her was slipping away fast.

A normally flippant Maxwell, tried to find a balance, an understanding of what was taking place. "Olivia, why do you berate everyone? Riley's never done anything to you".

Her beady, green eyes readily placed a target directly on him, "Like I care what some moron like you thinks. When you have to deal with the bullshit I go through everyday, then by all means judge away, until then, fucking mind your own business".

Maxwell jumped up and stood with a demeanor that suggested Olivia found his breaking point. With a raised voice and a face painted as red as her hair, "The bullshit you deal with? Your bullshit?...What about my bullshit? What about Drake and Liam and Riley's bullshit? Are you so fucking closed off and hardened, that you don't see we're all dealing with nothing but bullshit?...I have two dead parents, just like you,  and a brother who has a stick so far up his ass...", his voice started to break as he rubbed a stinging tear from his eye, "...just...quit acting like its only you".

Riley stood up and gave Maxwell a comforting embrace, while Drake continued to lay back, eyes closed, struggling with his own thoughts.

Liam noted Olivia's composure, she was tense and hollow, but, her eyes spoke volumes. She was fighting herself, the walls were crumbling and she was trying with all of her might to keep them standing. If there was ever a time to get into her heart, it was now.

Liam raised his knees and wrapped his arms around them, resting his chin down.  "We're supposed to write an essay about who we think we are....well, who are we? I sure as hell don't know who I am anymore...looking around at each of you and hearing Maxwell's words, tells me no one else does either".

Riley and Maxwell sat back down with the group, everyone except Drake pondering Liam's words in their minds, but, no one speaking.

Liam raised his head again and lowered his legs, crossing them in front of him. "Okay, I'll go first then....I'm suffocating, I'm losing my mind, at the end of a short rope. I hate my father, my life...who I have to be", he stopped for a second to prepare himself for what followed, "I wanted to die last night, even tried swallowing pills".

He grabs everyone's attention, including Olivia who saw him this morning, at the mention of the prince trying to commit suicide. "Yeah... I wanted it all to end...I just needed, peace".

Drake sits up, claps his hands mockingly and glares at Liam, "Boo..fucking.. hoo..must be real hard to have the entire damn country bowing at your ever present whim...so spare me the sob stories your majesty".

Olivia raises her hand back and slaps Drake across the face, screaming, "You weren't there this morning....you don't know what happens to him, to me... every day is a nightmare where the King dictates who we are or else."

Drake rubs the stinging on his reddened cheeks, seething, "Yeah, you’re right, I wasn't there, I was stuck in a damn basement apartment alone because my father died protecting your sorry, rich ass's and my mother lost her mind because of it"

Dead air filled the room.

"Sounds like your dad was a hero Drake...my real dad bailed before I was even born", Riley mused.

"Yeah Drake, at least your dad didn't die on a friggin boat with a cocaine stained nose, partying his ass off, while your mother was at home dying....it sucks I know, but, of the five of us, your dad was... pretty awesome", Maxwell said with a sympathetic smile.

A hero_? _That word caused a flood of emotions that ran straight to his yielded heart. He was breaking down too, especially when he caught a glimpse of Liam, a member of the royal family, nodding in agreement, showing genuine appreciation for Jackson Walker.

He ran a hand through his hair and held onto it with a tight grip. He tried to hold the moisture that formed like pools in his flustered, brown eyes, but, they poured out anyway. Even Olivia looked at him, envious of the legacy Jackson left for Drake and his sister to be proud of. No one else in the room could say the same of their fathers.

Drake covered his eyes and sniffled loudly, his lips quivering uncontrollably, "I miss my dad", he wailed out.

Maxwell and Riley quickly went to him, rubbing and patting him on the back. Liam crawled over to Drake, holding his head to his chest.

Liam looked at him while Drake tried to stifle his sobs. "Drake, I'd like to personally thank, on behalf of myself and the crown, the son of the man who saved me and my families life".

Drake had held his feelings in for so long, it felt surprisingly gratifying to finally release them. He thought to himself-_Fucking Bastien was right. _He lifted himself up, with everyone except Olivia following his lead. He wiped his wet face on the inside of shirt, "It's all I ever wanted, just someone to appreciate him...to care about what he did". Liam then pulled him into a hug, "I do Drake, I really do", as he clapped his back.

Drake returned a half smile, looking away for moment before turning to face Liam again, "You're already ten times the King your father is.".

Drake inhaled deeply and asked for a minute alone. He walked down the stairs and sat on the bottom step attempting to make sense of everything that just happened.

Olivia, remained still, then grabbed her purse and followed him. She sat down next to him, but, he didn't acknowledge her presence. She reached inside her purse and took  Drake's hand. He watched as she slowly dropped his fathers pocket watch into his palm.

Stunned, he stared at her in disbelief, "how did you...?"

She looked off in the distance, sighing, before meeting his bewildered look, "A courier dropped it off yesterday. It was found in an alley and had the Royal crest on it. Constantine didn't know who it belonged to and tossed it aside, but, I did....I took it and was going to use it against you".

He looked at the watch, clutching it with both hands as if his life depended on, "That's a real fucked up thing to do, even for you".

She swallowed hard, "Yeah...it is...I'm sorry".

Drake quirked his brows, "Did I really just get the Duchess of Lythikos to apologize to a poor commoner like me?".

She smiled and playfully swiped at his arm, "Yes, but, don't expect any more". She then leaned over, speaking in a low voice, "Can I tell you something?".

Drake squinted his eyes, skeptical, "What?"

Olivia looked around, "I actually had a lot of fun with you today, even when you were an asshole....banter aside, I can't say I've ever been on a drug run, climbed in an air duct, fallen through the ceiling and then got very....very stoned", she chortled.

He chuckled back, "Yeah, I never expected to do any of those things, especially with you".

"Walker?", she asked, "am I anything besides a bitch...I mean, who do I say I am?".

He thought for a moment before cracking a smile at her, "You're still a bitch....but, like a bad ass, take no prisoners kind, but, you're also one tough girl...you have to deal with a lot of Constantine's shit...that take's guts.".

She stood up, absorbing his words, "I was told as little girl...If you can breathe, you can stand and if you can stand, you can fight....So, I will just keep on fighting", she smiled, ruffled his hair and walked back upstairs.

Drake shook his head in disbelief, "unbelieveable", he said to himself as his enemy just became a friend. He followed her back up.

Liam came up behind Olivia and wrapped his arms around her, kissing her cheek. He knew what she had just done for Drake and was proud of her. He asked her to apologize to Riley, in which she hesitated. "She's the one Livvie", he told her. The words stung, but, she was also glad to see him happy for once..

Olivia apologized and she and Riley sat together talking about make up and different hairstyles Riley could try. She told her she was returning to Lythikos soon and if she ever needed anything to let her know.

Drake and Maxwell caught Liam up on why there was a hole in the ceiling. They each would reminisce about their childhood adventures together. Every now and then, Liam would peak over at Riley, just to see her.

The group made their way down the steps and gathered around Liam, sitting at a table, preparing to write the letter. He looked up at them, "So, who do we say we are?".

Maxwell slumped over on the table, "It's been a long day, I just wanna be Maxwell."

They each looked at one another and knew what they wanted.

"I'm just Riley".

"I guess, I'm just Olivia".

"Drake"

Liam penned it down to the letter, "and I just want to be Liam".

Olivia watched as Riley and Liam sat together, canoodling, as she described it. Drake came up behind her and placed both hands on her shoulders, tugging them. She looked at him with a sad face. "Come on, you can sit with me and Maxwell", he said as he pulled her over to another table.

Some time had passed when the door opened and Bastien walked in. They were all surprised to learn that this whole thing was not actually Constantine's doing, but, he and Regina's. The kids were falling apart and they thought they could use time together, helping one another, in a way an adult couldn't.  Apparently, their plan worked.

"Real fucking sneaky Bas", Drake said as he pulled him into hug, "does this mean I don't have seven weekends of guard duty with the ass clown you sent in here to watch us?"

"We'll see", he chuckled.

Everyone made their way out of the library, with Liam stopping Riley in the hallway. "Hey you".

"Hey you", she replied while pulling him to her.

"I have to go speak with my father, but, I'll meet you at the garden maze in twenty minutes, okay?"

She stood on her tipped toes and kissed him, "Don't you forget about me", she teased.

They parted ways and she made it to the palace entrance. She was met by two officers and a guard, looking specifically for her.

The officer approached her, "Riley Brooks?"

She wanted to lie, but, they obviously knew it was her. She let a shaky response, "yes".

The officer grabbed her and placed her under arrest, "we received word from His Majesty that you are a runaway who snuck into the palace".

Riley tried to explain to them that she was invited by Maxwell and that the Prince knows her, however, it fell on deaf ears.

Constantine met them at the door, with a scour look. He walked up to her, glared at her for what seemed to be hours for Riley, then smacked her in the face. "Don't you ever think about coming back here again.... or you will be sorry."

He motioned for the officers to take her away.

She cried out, "please dont send me back, he'll kill me....please....Liam!!!".

***Let me know if you want removed from the tag list.

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[janiedean]

i don't get why Jon is considered a threat to Dany's throne when they could just get married? obvs they like each other, and they have targ blood to excuse the close relation

... it’s not that he’s considered, it’s that he is just by existing and that is set up to be the main conflict in the ‘good guys’ side - how it’s resolved is another issue, but like... it’s not that they like each other or not, it’s a question of plot elements and setting.

meaning (guys I wanna be objective here, don’t take this as me hating on d/any or anything because I’m not this is just how I feel they shaped up the narrative):

all of dany’s storyline relies heavily on a few key elements both in book and show, as in: a) she’s the last surviving targaryen and no other, b) she feels that the iron throne is her birth legacy as the rebellion wasn’t legitimate/the targs were the legitimate rulers, c) her entire claim on the iron throne relies on recognizing the targs as legit rulers and on the fact that *she* is the last targaryen left;

and as she put it herself in S7, she has bled and suffered for it - now, dany’s character development in S7 (development) was realizing that she actually cared about fighting the white walkers and helping her allies more than her throne for now at least, which is why jon kneeled when she didn’t ask for it (and I’d like to put forward that I actually get that and I don’t think he did something abysmally stupid from his POV) and that was when they tried to sell us the romance angle (which imvho is very badly written and had endless pacing issues but never mind, I’m not going to question jon/erys’s status - it happened, I’m accepting it);

now, as goddamned fucking stupid was the whole ‘JON’S REAL TARG NAME IS AEGON’ writing decision - because that was fucking stupid, even if the show cut off the aegon+joncon storyline aegon still existed within canon, he’s just dead, so rhaegar naming both his male heirs with the same name is dumb as fuck and makes no sense but never mind that -, it should give you red flags that they mean for jon to take on some of the original aegon vi’s storyline in the book because ofc they couldn’t have two possible targaryens alive but nvm;

now: aegon vi book-wise is a legitimate threat to dany’s claim unless he marries her, since he’s rhaegar’s trueborn male heir which immediately makes his claim better than dany’s and when he realized he didn’t want to wait around for her he went to take westeros for himself or tried to - and okay, dany’s about unaware of that rn because she has more pressing concerns, but the existence of a male targaryen heir who is legitimate automatically puts a dent in *her* claim to the throne;

now, do I have to believe that they renamed jon aegon for nothing and gone through the pains of making us know for sure that rhaegar married lyanna and that he’s *trueborn* (ngl I think it’s also book canon except that I don’t think rhaegar disinherited elia’s children, he prob. just married lyanna without divorcing elia) for it to end up in nothing especially when they already set it up in s5 with that speech to theon about being both stark and greyjoy which was obviously foreshadowing for his future conflict about being both stark and targaryen?

I don’t think so.

now, what I want to get at with my theorizing is (VAGUE SPOILERS THAT I KNOW OF ARE MENTIONED BUT IT’S VAGUE AND I DIDN’T VERIFY):

this season they have six episodes - long ones, but still six. given that the last one is gonna be mostly epic battle/finale stuff and from the five spoilers I know there’s another one towards the middle. This means there’s roughly four episodes of Other Stuff Left and honestly, there has to be a conflict somewhere or the narrative doesn’t go on;

last season tied up the house stark stuff in the sense that as badly written as it was, LF is out of the way, sansa/arya/bran are on the same side again (regardless of how shitty bran’s written but nvm) and pretty much signed off cersei’s political suicide because she has tied her survival to euron bringing her the golden company but theon is obviously offing euron to get back his sister and taking that from her and that’s gonna happen early on, so like.... she’s basically dragging dead narrative weight while going around king’s landing and I seriously doubt she’s surviving midseason, and on top of that there’s no conflict to be had in KL with the fact that she’s the only valuable main player still there, everyone else has left;

we of course have the question of WHAT WILL JAIME DO but that spoiler pic pretty much solved it - he’s going around wearing robb’s old armor or an armor that looks like robb’s, everything points to a confrontation with bran + resolution of issues that brings to him pledging with the starks - the starks, not dany;

at that point there’s literally no other major - major - conflict left to explore that doesn’t touch the question of Who Is Getting That Throne And How It Fits With The Current Situation;

now: taking for granted that jon/erys like each other and they’re most likely in honeymoon phase when they get to WF, the point is that a) they don’t know they’re related, b) he thinks she’s a trueborn queen and he’s only there because people elected him and she thinks he’s an illegitimate son with good skills and good morals. now, while she probably wouldn’t give two fucks about bedding a relative if she thought she’d marry viserys growing up and IT’S TARGARYENS, he might find it a tad more objectionable since he was not brought up with the idea that marrying your relatives was acceptable outside of targaryens (guys incest is a taboo in westeros too) and telling him he’s r’s son won’t magically change his attitude in that sense, so that is one conflict in itself...

guys: jon’s mere existence is a threat to dany’s claim. even if he doesn’t do anything about it and he assures her he can’t care less, he’s still her brother’s trueborn legitimate MALE offspring who not only has targ blood on one side, but has *stark* blood on the other side, and given that the north has tried to secede for the entire series and that he has both stark and targ heritage (guys...... again, a song of ice and fire = a song of jon snow), even if he doesn’t care, other people could see him as a better option than daenerys because he’s from westeros, he knows the customs, he has good military experience that doesn’t rely on dragons to win battles and they’d trust him way more than an outsider who has never been to westeros and comes back reclaiming it because it’s her birthright and who doesn’t abide by westerosi customs - and mind that the tarlys being burned alive when they could have gone to the wall was exactly to make that point. like, it’s the same issue catelyn had with him - regardless of whether he would have wanted to usurp his siblings (we know he wouldn’t have, she didn’t), ned having a supposed *male* son who looked like him and was robb’s age while all her male children looked like her and not like ned was in itself a threat to her children and their inheritance, which is 60% of the reasons why cat hated jon (the other 40% being that she thought ned betrayed her not even a year after they married);

like, that’s an issue that would only get solved if they marry and have children and she chooses to trust him to not make a coup, but even with that... a jon/erys marriage as things are now (with jon being kitn and ned’s bastard son as far as people know) would make her the most important part of it and he’d be more of a consort than king, but with jon being rhaegar’s, either he has the title or they share it equally;

now: dany has to have character development. everyone has to or shit doesn’t happen. jon’s main issue is gonna be reconciling stark and targ heritage (and tbqh I don’t see jon embracing the targ part so readily - guys he’s wanted to be a stark all his life and he grew up with them, let’s be real). dany is obviously going to revolve around the following points at least imvho:a) how is she going to react finding out that she’s not the last targaryen left?b) how is she going to react finding out that the other targaryen around has a better claim than her/has her same birthright?c) can she get used to westeros’s culture/customs and learn them if she has to be queen?d) can she bend her own principles and compromise enough to realize that she can’t rule just through dragons because you might *conquer* with them but you can’t *rule* with them as we’ve seen with the tarlys?now, all of that is obv. up in the air and I have no issues whether it goes left or right - honestly it’s so far in my scale of ‘stuff I care for in this show’ that as long as I see jaime in robb’s armor all the time I’ll be fine, but...

tldr: if the answer to those questions is, in order, ‘she’ll take it well, she’ll vouch for sharing power and it won’t impact on their relationship, yes and yes’ then congrats, we have positive character development and most likely canon targ restoration with jon/erys as endgame. if the answer is ‘she’ll take it badly, she’ll see jon as a potential threat regardless and demand that he renounce it or smth, no and no’, then congratulations, we have negative character development and the conflict turns from dany + starks allied against the white walkers and cersei to a dynasty conflict during which people will have to take sides and in that context tyrion would be caught in the middle because he’s dany’s advisor but on the other side there’s people he genuinely likes/he’s friendly with, the whole question of his marriage to sansa and his damned brother, so he’d have to pick sides in that sense; 

now, it could also be that the answer is no but then she changes her mind and we still have positive character development after the negative - possibly, she’s a main so she’ll get screentime same as jon - but like, that is imo the most obvious and glaring plot conflict that has to come out of what they wrote until now regardless of whether it’s good or bad writing. and fine, it’s been bad lately, but nvm that, the outcome has to be one regardless of how they get there.

like: I don’t doubt that there can be a positive resolution, but there has to be conflict or nothing happens this season if the jon parentage reveal ends in ‘ah well we can just get married in episode two’, and given dany’s in-text character faults that she has same as everyone else (more or less, given how the show’s written), this one plot point is going to have weight and it’s going to create conflict for her because it basically dismantles the entirety of her claim on the throne that she’s brought on since the end of S1 and it’s too narratively important to dismiss it on account of ‘they like each other and they can just get married’. they can, but at the end, not at the beginning, and she has to fully confront it and come out stronger for it if you want a positive development and not further stagnation.

thanks for coming to my speculation ted talk *shrug* XD