#i don't know how many hours i took just listening to all the albums to make the best repartition

[icanbeyourgenie]

CALRON (Taylor's Version) — fearless

you're not sorry / fearless / you belong with me / love story / hey stephen / white horse / the way i loved you / the other side of the door

[amberluvsbugs]

My reaction to the news you just posted:

I saw your 'I lost someone' post a few days ago, and I have no clue what was going through that person's head for them to do that. Neither you, your co-workers, nor anyone in the fandom who may be suffering from illness deserved to be deceived like that.

My heart goes out to you, and I hope you're doing okay now. 💖

(If you're comfortable clarifying this for anyone who didn't see that post and may want to know the full context (no stress if you don't want to ofc), was Ari initially claiming to be dying of cancer or was it something else? Either way, it's still disgusting what they did.)

thank you it really means a lot. ;;;; In case anyone didnt see the post I made a while back, this is the full story for clarification: This all started on April 29th when I received a DM from my co-worker Toby, saying that a Poppy Playtime fan and friend we will call Ari, who he told me was 18 and has come to know for a solid year, was set to be sedated on May 6th due to having an incurable cancer. Because of this, he wanted me to create an illustration for her before she passed which I immediately took up the offer. Now, for clarification, I don't trust what anyone says in the PPT community. I am aware of how immature and dangerous the community can be. But when it's coming from someone I know and trust, I put my trust forward on that person. I don't mess around when it comes to someone nearing their death. So I got in contact with her, made sure she saw the illustration I made for her, and for the past week after work hours, I would talk with her in VCs and chill at every chance I got to make sure she was happy and having a good time. She acted very kind and sweet to me and so many others who would join the VC as they also soon came to know of her upcoming passing as well. On Saturday, May 4th we hosted a podcast for her as a subtle final farewell to the whole server. And on Sunday evening at 5 pm, me and Toby talked with her one last time in a private vc until she had to take her final leave from Discord. At 6 pm, me and Toby stayed on call listening to the Caretaker album fully (as we both had a big fascination for The Caretaker album, Everywhere At The End Of Time) as a sort of timer to let us know when she had passed, as we knew in 6 hours she would be sedated. At 1 am on Monday morning, The album finished. We both cried so hard it gave us headaches. I only got to really know her for a short time, but at that moment, she made such an impact on me and so many others in the PPT server and community. We had made art dedicated to her and I had even laid out a post for her. Everyone was mourning over Ari’s departure and for 4 days me and Toby were a MESS of emotions of grief. That was until I received a message from Toby on Thursday, May 9th, saying he needed to speak to me urgently in call. Toby told me that he had been watching Ari's activity and found something off with it as it had recently gone active a few times. I told him that maybe it was her friend having access to her account in her passing but Toby immediately showed me proof of the activity that's been going on in another server and on her Roblox account that she had. And that's when we needed proof or confirmation. For the past 4 hours, we did our research to find leads on her. We eventually found her school which apparently confirmed that she was 14, NOT 18, and we got in contact with her parents and asked them about Ari to which they were confused about this whole thing and told us that she was here. Which CONFIRMED that she was still ALIVE. We filled in on the parents for what Ari did and she is no longer going to have access to her electronics. We were both devastated at this point and absolutely furious. Everything we did for her, and the community, was all for nothing. She used and fooled us by a means to get attention and to specifically get in contact with Toby and be forward with him as a minor. We dedicated hours and days to her, mourned and cried for her, all for it to be crumbled down into a fake death. We were beyond disappointed, me especially as I don't take kindly to this sort of thing. I don't get mad. In fact, I try to be a kind person to everyone, but the fact someone would take advantage and play death like this to us for attention is disgusting and just wrong. I have moved on from this but please don't make this a big deal. They were 14 and this will not stop me from doing what I love for the PPT community or whatnot. It's just a life lesson I will take to heart and be careful to not put my full trust in someone unless I have clarification that they are indeed going through a death-like situation like this.

[googlyexes]

JEALOUS

character: Nagi x fem!reader

synopsis: Nagi tries to ignore y/n for 24 hours

A/N: wattpad @claiqres

"Nagi!"

y/n tried to get Nagi's attention, sitting on his lap, giving him cheek kisses, playing with hair, but Nagi continues to ignore her out of jealousy.

"I'm sorry... I didn't mean to call Cyno the finest boy." y/n pouts before hugging him from behind.

"come on Nagi... I'll help you build Ganyu later." Nagi still ignored y/n. Y/n sighed and let go of Nagi.

"Well I hope you forgive me soon, I need to go grocery shopping, I'll be back soon."

Nagi side eye at his girlfriend walking out the apartment before sighing. "Phew, I don't know if I can keep up with this..."

y/n walks in the H-Mart store with a cart picked out outside with the other dirty carts with random stuff on them....

y/n looked at the snacks and the food courts, it's been a long time since y/n went out to go shopping since Nagi insist to do it.

y/n picked out some vegetables and fruits before going to the meat section where they have Kobi beef that y/n loves a lot.

"Ooh! this one looks good!" Y/n eyes sparkled looking at a snack box near the cashier register.

Also, y/n makes sure to look at the k-pop albums after buying her groceries. They have a lot of albums and the k-pop light sticks brand. Recently y/n been obsessed listening to NewJeans, let's just say she's a bunnie.

y/n looked at the albums, picking up some albums, looking at the prices, some of them aren't that bad. y/n looked at the NewJeans album before getting the Haerin version of the OMG album.

"Thank you, have a great day!" The lady who works at the kpop shop smiled at y/n who smiled back and waved.

y/n legs felt tired and had to go home, y/' sent him many texts but never responded. Y/n frown while looking at her phone. She feels like she did something wrong that might of actually hurt him.

It can't actually be him being jealous because y/n called cyno the finest person on genshin...

But she didn't mean it like that, seriously. "Let's just go home, I have to make food..."

y/n drives for about 10 minutes to her home, y/n looked through the windows to see Nagi still playing on his computer.

Y/n grab all the plastic bags with all the groceries in them and close down the trunk. She walked up the stair porch before unlocking the door.

"Nagi! I'm home!" Y/n called out, he didn't respond back. "Nagi, I'll cook dinner, be ready!" Y/n yelled out again.

y/n put the bags in the kitchen counter before grabbing the food out of the bags and placed them on the kitchen counter.

Y/n took off her apron before smelling the steam, which made y/n super hungry that she wants to eat it by herself.

"Nagi! Food is ready!" Y/n called out, in a few seconds, Nagi came out of the room as Y/n smiled at him but before y/n could talk to him. Nagi took his plate and walked off.

"Huh?" Y/n was stun, did someone actually piss his pants?

Y/n frown and decide to eat by herself alone in the kitchen while on her phone reading webtoon.

Y/n fell asleep on the couch that night because she didn't want or face Nagi knowing that he might be mad at her.

Y/n had no blanket and had to force herself to sleep with the breeze of coldness air. Nagi walked out of their room to place his dish in the sink when he saw y/n sleeping on the couch.

Nagi frown at this and went over to y/n brushing her hair off her face. "I'm sorry my love." He whispered in a sweet tone.

Nagi slowly pick you up in a bridal style and took the sleeping y/n to their comfy bed. Nagi also feel pretty tired so he made his computer sleep and close it before going to bed with his girlfriend.

Nagi played with y/n's hair think how ignoring for 24 hours is really hard.

"I'll make it up to you I promise..." Nagi kissed y/n's hand and her forehead before wrapping his arm around y/n's waist.

"goodnight."

[littlexscarletxwitch]

── ༊*·˚⋆ 𝗲𝗻𝗱𝗴𝗮𝗺𝗲

paring: florence pugh x fem!reader

tag(s): fluff, based on endgame by taylor swift (you don't understand how much i'm loving this song), cute gf flo

warning(s): grammatical errors, unedited

word count: 2.2k

note: omg, it's finally here. I'm so sorry it took me sooo long, it just I was super busy. Was this inspire by Ms. Taylor Swift? Yes, yes it was. I really hope you guys like this one. I'm not a native english speaker, so please let me know about any sort of mistake. Love you all so much <3

note 2: guys, I'm currently reading 'Delilah Green doesnt' care' and it's giving me so many ideas for fics. So would any of you be interest in more mum!florence? Please let me know. Xoxo, M

requests are open! + check my rules here + masterlist <3

Your eyes were closed, your head was on her chest listening to her steady heartbeats, a soft smile formed on your lips.

“Promise me this is forever,” you whispered. 

You knew she was awake, she was doing the same thing as you, enjoying the moment, living in the present.

Your eyes found hers already looking at you. 

“I promise,” she said, her smile mirroring yours. 

Her lips found yours as if sealing the promise forever, but nothing ever lasts forever. The kiss that was first sweet and soft and filled with love, turned bitter, harsh and cold. You pulled back confusion written all over your face. 

You blink once then twice, and suddenly you were waking up on your bed, alone. You cursed yourself at the stupid memory. It was so pathetic to still think about Florence that way. You two were history, long forgotten, just a memory of your adolescence. 

You shook your head, trying to wake up your foggy brain from the nap you had taken. And decided to get some work done as a way to clear your head from your silly old fantasies.  

You made yourself a cup of tea, grabbed your notebook and put your headphones on. You only had three more months to finish your second album. The deadline wasn’t much of a concern of yours, what bothered you was the lack of inspiration. Every lyric you would write down was just trash, it was as if you were missing something. So far you had only five finished songs, and you needed ten more to have the album finished. 

You were humming, moving your head to the beat as you let your brain come up with the right words, but it felt as if you were stuck.

“I wanna be your endgame,” you sang to the beat. “I wanna be, I wanna be your… ” you threw your head back in annoyance, frustration getting the best out of you. 

You had been sitting on the floor for the last hour, trying to finish this one song but you were not even close to it. You took a deep breath trying not to lose your shit. Your phone buzzed, the screen lighting up with a new notification and that took your whole attention. 

“Y/n Y/l/n and Drew Starkey spotted out for dinner,” you read out loud and couldn’t help rolling your eyes at the link your manager and best friend had sent you.

According to the news, you were dating both Drew Starkey and Joe Keery. You also almost got engaged the week before to Rudy Pankow, but apparently cheated on him with Maya Hawke. You knew better than to actually pay attention to fake news, but you couldn’t help to. After all that was now your life, the life of a startpop in the making, so much for a boring Oxford kid. 

Your reputation precedes you, in rumours you were knee-deep. But there was nothing you could do about it. Exhausted from your social life and the poor lack of motivation to do the one thing you loved the most, you decided to go out on a walk, hoping it would help to clear your thoughts about both the fake news and Florence, who you tried to ignore from thinking of. But ever since that dream you found yourself thinking about her more often. 

You knew she was as famous as you were, maybe even more. You had to admit to yourself that some nights you found some kind of comfort in her movies, watching her cute pouty face, the one she was most known for. 

She was your first love, she taught you how to love, what it was to be loved. Of course it wasn’t easy to forget about her, even after all these years, some part of you still craved her love. It wasn’t that you didn’t love each other when you both decided to go separate ways, it was because things weren’t so simple anymore. You two weren’t just two teenargs in love, you were slowly becoming adults. She had booked roles and you were making your way into the music industry. 

And without the two of you knowing you two just drifted apart, the two of you too caught up in your careers. But you loved her, so you decided to let her go, hoping and praying to the universe that maybe she would come back to you one day. 

Your thoughts were interrupted as you opened the door to your local cafe and someone bumped into you. 

“Sorry, I wasn’t… “ but you stopped cold once you saw the strangers eyes. 

“Y/n?” she asked, her voice as soft and raspy as you remembered. “What are you doing here?” a smile formed on her face, as if she was genuinely happy to see you. 

You shook your head trying to clear out your mind, was Florence really in front of you? “I, um, I lived here,” you blinked once, twice and she was still there. “Just around the corner,” you added, cursing yourself for being so awkward. “What are you doing here?” 

Was this a sign of the universe? Have your prayers been answered? 

“Visiting my family,” right her family, you thought. “Well, not just that, I’m also working,” she scratched the back of her neck. “I was actually hoping to see you, too.”

“Really?” that had to mean something, the universe couldn't be messing around with you this cruelly. Right?

“Yeah, I have, um… I have been thinking about you.” she smiled at you and you felt the butterflies in your stomach. “I think we should talk.”

“I, um,” what were you supposed to say? Were you willingly going to agree to spend time with the love of your life as if the two of you were going to be just friends? What was that supposed to mean?

“Yeah, sure. When are you free?” you finally agree.

You mentally checked your schedule, you were supposed to finish your songs but taking a break wouldn’t hurt anybody. Plus, you were going to get your coffee and get back to it right away. 

“Um, what about now?” 

Shit, you thought. She wasn’t going to give you any time to prepare yourself. Well, you better get into it, rip it off like a band aid. 

“Okay, I was going to get a coffee and then we can…”

“Yeah, yeah, take your time. I’m going to find us a table.”

You order your coffee while mentally preparing for the conversation the two of you were going to have. What was she on about? Was it really a big coincidence? Did the universe put her in our path for some reason? You shook your head, you needed to stop thinking about the universe’s way of working for a second.

They handed you your coffee and now you had no more excuses to avoid her, not that you wanted to. Some part of you long to be near her, but you were scared of what this whole thing was about. 

“So, um, what’s up with Drew?” she tried to pretend she didn’t care but was actually dying to know if you were actually dating him, not that you noticed it.

“Who?”

“Drew? Starkey?”

“Oh, yeah, Drew,” you chuckled, silly you for forgetting your own friend. “He’s just a friend, a really good friend,” was it your imagination or did she just let out a breath of relief. “What about Ashley?” you asked before taking a sip of your coffee. 

She smiled at you, “She’s also a really good friend.”

“So, um…”

“Listen, Y/n…”

The both of you chuckled. 

“You go first, Flo”

That nickname. It was stupid because everyone who knew her would call her ‘Flo’, but coming out of your lips felt different. She had missed hearing her name on your lips, she had missed you. 

“I’m just going to say it, okay?” you only nodded. “I lied earlier, I’m not here for work or visiting my family. I came here to find you,” your lips parted in disbelief. “Ever since we broke things apart, I had been feeling like something was missing, Y/n. And I recently realised it was you. Well, I saw the article about you getting married and all I could think of was that something wasn’t right.”

“Florence I…”

“No, please let me finish,” she cut you off. “I understand that  we are strangers to each other, but I would love to get to know you once again. We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, it can be like a fresh start. I just really need you in my life, Y/n. I miss my best friend.”

You took another sip of your coffee, stealing time before giving her an answer. The truth was you already knew what you wanted, you knew it the moment you sat at the table, but you wanted to mess with her just a little bit. 

You put your cup down, and finally your eyes found hers, “I would like nothing more.”

[...]

Ever since that day, Florence and you had been spending everyday together. Catching up with each other and going back to old habits. 

The more you hang out with her, the more you could feel your old feeling coming back. But you didn’t want to rush things just to ruin them again. But one particular afternoon you couldn't hold back anymore and decided to do something about it. 

She had fallen asleep 30 minutes ago, you chuckled as you realised her current state because she had picked out the movie but turns out she was more tired than what she let you see. 

You headed to your small studio and decided to get back to the song you were working on before running into Florence. You  knew exactly what you wanted to say, having found your new inspiration a few weeks ago. 

You pressed play and the music started playing, you already had a few things written down in your notebook you just needed to put all your ideas together. 

You were so lost and immersed in finishing the song, going at it back and forth, changing some lyrics, singing some ideas, writing and crossing out some bits, that you didn’t realise someone was watching you just when you were about to finish. 

You had already recorded the whole song and were just checking it out when Florence leaned in the frame door. 

Florence smiled as she listened to your sweet voice. She wondered who this song was about. 

Knew her when I was young, reconnected when we were little bit older

Both sprung, I got issues and chips on both of my shoulders

She didn’t want to get her hopes up.

Reputation precedes me, in rumors, I'm knee-deep

The truth is, it’s easier to ignore it, believe me

She felt her heart shrinking in her chest.

Even when we'd argue, we'd not do it for long

And you understand the good and bad end up in the song

She listened closely to the song as you hummed to it.

For all your beautiful traits and the way you do it with ease

For all my flaws, paranoia, and insecurities

Her heartbeat and body temperature were rising.

I've made mistakes and made some choices, that's hard to deny

After the storm, something was born on the 4th of July

I've passed days without fun, this end game is the one

With four words on the tip of my tongue, I'll never say it

She couldn't take it any longer. 

“I like it,” she said, getting closer to where you were sitting. “It’s catchy,” she said, trying to shake her feeling away. That song could be about anyone.

“I feel like something’s missing,” you scrunch your nose.

“Sing the corus to me, please,” she looked at you with her doe eyes and you swear you could have melted in that moment. 

You shook your head with a smile on your face and compiled, “I wanna be your endgame, endgame,” you finished singing the chorus. “And then it goes. Big reputation, big reputation. Ooh, you and me, we got big reputations, ah,” you sang, trying to not look at Florence. 

“You know, it sounds awfully familiar,” she teased, wanting nothing more than for it to be true. 

“And you heard about me, ooh. I got some big enemies,” you kept on going.

“What are you trying to say, Y/n?” she kept on pushing you. 

“Big reputation, big reputation. Ooh, you and me would be a big conversation, ah. And I heard about you, ooh. You like the bad ones, too,” you finished, trying to tell her that you were thinking exactly what she was thinking. 

She was so close to you now, her knees brushing against yours, sending electricity throughout your body. You could feel her hot breath on your lips. 

“I want to…” she didn’t finish her sentence because you were already nodding and she smashed her lips to yours in a second. 

You felt as if a wave of cold water was washing over you. Her lips felt both familiar and new at the same time. You felt at home as she wrapped her arm around your waist and her other hand cupped your cheek. You didn’t want to ever stop kissing her, but both you and her needed to breathe so ultimately pulled apart. 

She rested her forehead on yours, both of her hands cupping your cheeks, caressing your skin with her fingertips. 

“I wanna be your endgame,” you quietly sang to her. 

She chuckled before kissing you again and again and again. 

Likes, comments and reblogs are appreciated! &lt;3

-M

[lucy90712]

Gavi watching his s/o perfoming at her concert and him being so happy and proud of her.

WC: 2.2k Tonight is the night my dream finally comes true. I have always liked to sing and I've wondered if I could ever make it as a singer but for a long time that felt impossible. As it turns out it it's not impossible as I just released my first album and now I'm going to perform my first ever concert. 

A few years ago my dream still felt impossible but then I met Pablo. We started off as friends after a mutual friend introduced us but we were both attracted to each other so things quickly progressed into us dating. A few months after we met we made things official and once we did we were pretty much inseparable. One day I was over at his place waiting for him to get home from training as he wanted us to spend as much time together as possible as he had a busy time coming up. While I was waiting I was making the both of us lunch and like I always do I was singing as I work but I was so in my own world that I didn't hear the door open and Pablo come in. As soon as he heard me singing and we talked about it a bit Pablo insisted that I at least try and make it as a singer. 

Pablo did everything he could to support me as I started proper voice lessons and begin to write and record songs. I used some of the money I had saved to pay for all of that but Pablo also helped me out which I tried to tell him not to do but he insisted on helping me out. When things felt impossible and like a waste of time Pablo encouraged me by saying that he used to feel that way when he was younger but now he's achieved his dream because he kept working hard. He really wanted us both to be living our dreams and be that power couple who have both worked so hard to achieve their dreams all while supporting each other every step of the way. It was his positivity and belief in me that kept me going even when things were hard. 

After a lot of hard work behind the scenes I released my first song which a few people listened to but it wasn't a success at all. That didn't deter me though I kept going and trying to find my style which eventually I did and that was rewarded by the song somehow blowing up on tiktok which brought more attention to all of my other music. Once more people started to listen to my music I made sure that I kept them interested by putting out more music as quickly as I could. Eventually things became more stable and I had created a proper fan base which was doing nothing but growing. Once it got to this point Pablo used my song in his Instagram story and a few weeks later we went public with our relationship which helped me a lot too. He offered his help from the beginning but I wanted to make it on my own as that's the only way I'd feel like my success was my own. 

Since then I've been working hard every day and I even quit my job as I was starting to make money from my music and Pablo said he would help support me if I needed it. Last month I released my first full album and now I'm preparing for my first concert right where it all started in Barcelona. After this I have a small tour around Spain but I just had to start here in Barcelona so that Pablo and the rest of my friends could attend. 

I have been at the venue for a few hours already because I had to be here to do sound check as well as many other things but the main reason I got here so early is because I'm so nervous. I barely slept last night because I was so worried that no one would turn up even though I know exactly how many tickets have been sold. Also running through my mind was the thought that everyone might hate my voice as I know I'll sound different in real life even though I don't use auto tune. We had sound check first which took my mind off things for a bit but then I was back to sitting around until rehearsals which allowed me to go back to thinking about everything that could go wrong. After rehearsals I had a few hours until the start of the show which was supposed to be for me to get ready but I started it by sitting and having a panic attack. 

"Are you ok my love?" Pablo asked as he poked his head round the door 

"Yeah I'm fine what are you doing here so early" I said 

"I wanted to come and see you because I knew you'd be nervous and I can tell that you are not having a good time so its a good thing I'm here" he said 

"Now tell me what's going through your mind" he said 

"I just don't want everyone to hate me I mean what if I'm not as good as they thought I was" I said 

"If anyone thinks that then they're crazy because I know nothing about singing but you have always sounded like an angel to me even when you're not trying so everyone will love you don't stress yourself over that" he said 

"I'm definitely not that good but thank you" I laughed 

"Aren't you supposed to be getting ready?" He asked 

"Yeah I am" I replied 

"Then what are you waiting for you I know I love watching you get ready" he smiled 

He wasn't lying so I grabbed all of my makeup stuff and started to get myself ready while Pablo sat behind me watching in the mirror as his arms clung around my waist. While I was concentrating he just kept talking which was actually really helpful as it kept me distracted and made me laugh every now and then. Once my makeup was done it was time for hair and Pablo being the good boyfriend he is helped me section my hair and hold strands out the way while I did the style I had planned. He then helped me into my outfit while I put my earpieces in as there was only a few minutes until I was supposed to go on. 

Once I was ready Pablo grabbed my hand and we walked backstage together. That's when I started to hear the crowd and things suddenly felt so much more real than they did earlier. All of those people are here for me which is such a crazy concept and slightly overwhelming to think about. Pablo must've been able to tell that I was getting nervous again as he spun me round to face him and placed his hands on my waist. He held me close to him and had me look directly into his eyes which made it feel like we were the only two people there which really calmed my anxiety. 

"You've got this cariño just go out there and give it your all I will be right there the whole time so just look at me if you feel anxious" he said 

"Thank you amor" I whispered back 

With that he let go of me and gave me one last kiss before running off to make it to his seat. I jumped up and down a bit and to hype myself up before finally walking out onto the stage. The noise was almost deafening as people in the crowd screamed and cheered for me. I couldn't help but smile knowing that there was this much excitement just to hear me sing I mean I'm not anything special I'm not like Taylor Swift but I sure felt like it walking out into that stage. To help settle myself I spoke to the crowd a bit and I looked for Pablo who was sat with some of the boys right in my eye line. 

When I finally started my set I begun to feel a whole lot more confident and I really got into it. I was completely in my own world feeling myself as I sung all of my songs and did all of the dances I had worked on with a choreographer. Every now and then I looked over to Pablo who was singing along every time I looked over without a care in the world which gave me even more confidence to do the same. All of the boys looked like they were having a good time but when I caught Pablo's eyes and saw him give me the biggest smile I could feel his proud he was. For a second I wondered if that's how he felt when I did the same for him whilst he was playing but I couldn't think about it for too long as the show had to go on. 

"I have one last song for you all I'm sure you can guess which one it is but before I start I want to thank a special someone who's actually here watching me today" I said 

"Pablo thank you for believing in me every step of the way if you hadn't of convinced me to give singing a try there is no way I'd be stood here today I owe all of this to you so thank you for helping me achieve my dream" I continued 

As I performed my last song I kept my eyes on Pablo who had tears in his eyes which were obvious even from a distance. This song was one of the first ones I ever wrote and it has always been his favourite of mine so it was only right to dedicate it to him and sing it as if we were the only people mind the room. The whole night had been magical but this moment made me feel like I was dreaming I could faintly hear the crowd in the background as I rounded up this amazing experience by sending a kiss to Pablo who sent one right back. Before leaving the stage I thanked everyone for coming and thanked the small team I had helping me as they deserve some of the recognition too. 

Once I got off stage and back to my dressing room all of the adrenaline left my body and suddenly I was exhausted but also all of the emotions caught up with me and nothing could wipe the smile off my face. The fact that I'd just done my first concert finally sunk in and I felt an overwhelming sense of pride in myself this is such a big occasion and could mark the start of a whole new life for me especially as I leave tomorrow for my next show in Madrid. After a few minutes of alone time there was a knock on my dressing room door so I went to open it thinking it might be my manager coming to check on me but instead I was greeted by Pablo and everyone else who came holding bouquets of flowers. There was so many flowers that once they were handed to me I couldn't see anything so I had to put them all down in the small sofa in the room. I thanked all the guys for coming and for the flowers and they all congratulated me on my performance before they all left so that I could be with Pablo. It only took a matter of seconds before Pablo smashed his lips onto mine. 

"You were so amazing out there" he said giving me a kiss in between each word 

"Thank you it felt amazing I've never felt such a rush in my life" I said 

"I knew you'd have the best time" he smiled 

"Also you didn't have to say all that about me this is your success all I did was steer you in the right direction" he said 

"I know but you've supported me whenever I wanted to give up and you posting with my songs has helped me a lot I really do owe you a lot because I wouldn't be here without you" I said 

"Thats sweet of you to say but I think you were destined for this life I'm glad I get to be a part of it and see you live your dream" he said 

"You're going to make me cry" I laughed 

"Don't cry my love just be happy you achieved a big thing today you should be smiling and so proud of yourself" he said 

We stayed at the venue for a bit longer before Pablo drove me back to his place so we could spend the night together. Along the way he got me to order whatever food I wanted for dinner was I hadn't eaten since lunch and was starving. We spent the night watching movies together on the sofa eating a lot of food all of which Pablo shouldn't have but he told me it was fine as it was a special day which only made the smile on my face bigger if that was even possible. 

[gougarfem]

how was the process of getting a dumbphone!

oh my god this is something i'm so excited to talk about, sorry it took me so many months to respond!

getting a dumbphone improved my quality of life so so much. i knew my screentime was high, but didn't realise it was a genuine psychological addiction until i quit. the first few days were extremely rough. time seemed to pass about ten times slower, and i was forced to fill the hours with various hobbies and activities. i know we all love to tell people to touch grass, but i really did have to connect with nature and it did wonders for my mental health.

i think for the first three days i was constantly restless and horribly irritable, looked around for my phone every few minutes, felt intense boredom and even cried a few times lol. your addiction may not be as extreme as mine was and this varies from person to person. however, after about a week i realised i remembered everything i'd done each day, because it was filled with intentional activities and little moments of peace rather than a blur of scrolling. i also wasn't on adhd meds yet, which is something i'll talk about in another post.

not having everything at your fingertips is uncomfortable, but (and it's a cliche) you really start to appreciate the world around you more. i looked forward to spending time with my family, because it filled time and i wasn't half-involved in my phone the entire time. i use an mp3 player to listen to music, and uploading music to it is a meaningful and interesting activity, rather than just shuffling a playlist. i listen to whole albums instead of being flooded with dopamine from spotify firing recommended songs at me. i appreciate music more, i make CDs for friends, i have to be intentional in discovering new artists and music. if i'm having an interesting conversation online, i look forward to going home and logging onto my laptop to continue it. i don't spend my commute, time in class, or time with friends texting somebody else. everything feels more intentional, spaced out, and interesting, even the things i do online.

i also found i stopped performing in every activity i did. i stopped thinking about whether i could post it to instagram or instantly send a picture in a discord server. i started picking up new hobbies for myself, not for an online audience, and living in the moment more. this is really important in the modern age, although again uncomfortable.

the best part was how my connections with others increased through having a dumbphone. i started calling friends rather than messaging on five platforms at once, and they started reciprocating. my message threads are continuous, coherent conversations, rather than sending memes. people realised they have to intentionally reach out to me, and i lost relationships with people who weren't interested in that, but strengthened connections with people who did put in the effort (many of whom i barely talked to in the past). i give people my phone number, not my social media handle, and they actually start conversations with me rather than hitting follow. i get to hear my friends' voices when they have drama to share and realise it takes me forever to type on my flip phone keyboard. again, everything is intentional, takes time, and richer than when i had a smartphone.

i genuinely would recommend it to absolutely everyone (i've kind of become like a crossfit guy in telling people to get a dumbphone lol). i won't pretend it's easy, and most people make excuses - for the first few months of having a dumbphone, i was bedbound or in hospital, and truly relied on online connections to pass time and communicate. it still hugely improved my life. however, no matter your situation there are always, always better options than scrolling an app, and you deserve to pass your time in a memorable way. i think most people don't realise they're addicted/reliant on smartphones, and the idea of quitting is horribly uncomfortable, but at least for me, the benefits were worth it.

i'm happy to answer any questions, i literally could talk about this topic for hours (even if it's stuff like "how would i use x app" "how would i replace x smartphone function").

ditch your smartphone babe, u deserve better <33

[tyuninthemirror]

— monster among men: c.bg

— pairing: childhood friend!beomgyu x fem!reader — genre: fluff — word count: 1631 — disclaimers: asshole beomgyu. — synopsis: beomgyu's biggest regret in life was how he treated you in high school. can he redeem himself? — series masterlist

— author's note: sobbing while i write this because i gotta save up to buy the sweet album D: also, monster among men is one of my favorite 5sos songsss! (one of many.) go listen!

Growing up with Choi Beomgyu wasn't an easy task. All the CDs in the world could never cover the number of times you've gotten into trouble because of him. Regardless, you wouldn't trade Beomgyu for anything in the world.

You and Beomgyu had been friends since your family moved across from his house in third grade. You had always admired his infectious energy and ability to make you laugh. You both shared a love for music and often spent hours singing and dancing together.

In middle school, you started to develop feelings for Beomgyu. You couldn't help but blush whenever he was around, and you found yourself daydreaming about him. You didn't know if he felt the same way, so you kept your feelings to yourself.

Despite your crush, you and Beomgyu remained good friends. You would often hang out after school and on weekends, talking about everything and anything. You felt comfortable around him and thought things would always be that way.

But when you both got into high school, he started to hang out with a different crowd. They were the guys who liked to seem cool and make fun of other people. You didn't like how they treated others but didn't say anything. You didn't want to ruin your friendship.

As time went on, Beomgyu started to change. He would skip classes and get into trouble with the teachers. You tried talking to him about it, but he would brush you off, saying he was just having fun. But you knew better. You knew that he was just trying to fit in, to be someone he wasn't. You didn't want to be a part of that, so you drifted apart.

You would see each other in the hallways and say hello, but you no longer hung out like you used to. You tried to hold onto the memories of when you were kids, but it seemed like those days were long gone. One thing never changed, though, your feelings for Beomgyu.

And then came your senior year.

One day, you finally mustered the courage to tell him how you felt. You had been planning it for weeks, rehearsing what you would say in your head. You took a deep breath and walked up to him after school.

"Beomgyu, there's something I need to tell you," you said, your voice shaking.

"Hey, Y/N, what is it?" he asked, smiling at you.

"CHOI BEOMGYU," his friend yelled from the bleachers behind you. "LET'S GO!"

"GIMME A SECOND!" Beomgyu yelled back before returning his attention to you. His eyes glanced slightly behind you, hoping none of his friends come over.

You took another deep breath when you knew you had his attention. "I've had a crush on you since middle school. I don't know if you feel the same way, but I just wanted you to know."

Beomgyu's smile faded, and he looked at you with a shocked expression. He caught his friend's gaze, who was smirking and wiggling his eyebrows, taunting him.

Beomgyu then burst out laughing, and you could feel your heart sink.

"What's so funny?" you asked, feeling embarrassed.

"You actually like me?" he said, still laughing. "That's hilarious."

You could feel tears welling up in your eyes, but you refused to let them fall. You turned around and walked away, feeling humiliated and hurt. You thought Beomgyu would just say he didn't feel the same way, but never in your life would you have thought he'd laugh right at your face.

"Goodbye, Choi Beomgyu. Have a good life."

From that moment on, you lost all respect for Beomgyu. You didn't want anything to do with him and cut ties with him completely. It was the end of your friendship and felt like the end of a chapter in your life.

But life goes on, and you have to let go of the past. You focused on your studies and your own goals, secretly hoping that he would one day find his way back to who he truly was.

You walk down the familiar streets of your hometown, feeling a sense of nostalgia. It's been a few years since you've been back home after studying in the UK, and you're excited to catch up with old friends and family before heading back for your new job.

As you stroll down the sidewalk, you hear a familiar voice call out your name, and it's not exactly a voice you're thrilled to hear.

"Y/N! Is that really you?" You turn around and see Beomgyu. You haven't seen him in years, and although he broke your heart many moons ago, your heart still skips a beat at the sight of him.

"I heard from my mom you were visiting from the UK. Long time no see, Y/N," he said, his voice shaking. "Can we talk?"

You hesitated for a moment before nodding your head. "Sure."

"I just wanted to say that I'm sorry," he said, looking down at his feet.

"Sorry for what?" you asked, even though you knew exactly what he was talking about.

"For the way I treated you in high school," he said, looking up at you. "I was a stupid kid who wanted to hang out with the cool crowd. I didn't mean to hurt you."

You feel a pang of sadness in your heart. It really did take a while for you to get over how Beomgyu responded to your confession. His actions left you lonely and hurt and moving abroad and being in a completely new environment helped you overcome it.

On another note, Beomgyu felt like the universe was giving him a sign when he saw you just now. Ever since your confession in high school, he's been beating himself up over how he treated you. All for what? His 'friends' approval? The ones that made him try to do their college essays for them?

"I know I hurt you, and I regret it every day," Beomgyu continued before you could say anything. "I was stupid and immature, but I never stopped thinking about you, Y/N. I never got to say this, but you were always in my heart, and I want to make things right."

You feel a sense of shock and disbelief wash over you. You never expected Beomgyu to apologize, let alone confess his feelings for you. Part of you wants to push him away, to tell him that it's too late, that you've moved on. But another part of you wants to give him a chance, to see if there's still something to salvage from your past together.

"How do I know you're not just saying that?" you asked, still unsure of everything he said.

"I know I have a lot to prove," he said, looking directly into your eyes. "But I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make it up to you."

"Beomgyu, I don't know," you said, your voice wavering.

"I understand," he said, looking down at his feet. "I just wanted you to know how I feel. I'll give you space and time to think about it."

"You must have tons of luck to bump into Choi Beomgyu on your first day back?" Chaeryeong chuckled.

"Good luck or bad luck?" you raised an eyebrow as you sipped your coffee.

"Depends," your friend shrugged. You looked at her, confused. "Whether or not you still like him."

"That was years ago, Chae," you awkwardly laugh, trying to dismiss what she said. You didn't know the answer yourself.

"Oh please, I might be your best friend now, but I could never replace Beomgyu in your life," she rolled her eyes. "Heck, maybe we're best friends now because I was destined to be your maid of honor."

"Maid of honor? Find me a boyfriend first," you joked.

"I did. Choi Beomgyu."

"That's not funny, Lee Chaeryeong," you warned her.

"Come on, Y/N," she sighed, sliding over to sit beside you on the sofa of the cafe you were having tea at. "Did you say he was on his knees begging for forgiveness?"

"I don't think I said that," you shook your head at her over exaggeration.

"Same thing," she waved it off. "If you asked him to, he probably would have. Just give him a chance, Y/N, see what kind of cards he'll play."

Over the next few days, you couldn't stop thinking about Beomgyu and the possibility of giving him another chance. After another round of convincing from Chaeryeong, you finally decided to meet with Beomgyu again.

It wasn't hard. He still lived across from you, after all.

"I've been thinking a lot," you said as you sat across from him in your backyard. "And I've decided to give you another chance."

Beomgyu's face lit up with a huge smile. "Thank you, Y/N. I won't let you down."

"But," you quickly stopped him before it got too festive. "I got a job in the UK, so I'll be there most of the time, and I don't do long distance, so-"

"Y/N," Beomgyu grinned, holding his phone to show you an e-mail. "I got approved for transfer to our UK branch if I can hit quota every month for the next three months."

"You planned this?" you asked in disbelief, rereading his e-mail. "What if I hadn't said yes to giving you a chance?"

"I probably would've sung BLINK 182's I Miss You outside your window at 2 am in the morning or gone on my knees begging for forgiveness," he answered. "The possibilities are endless."

"Choi Beomgyu," you laughed, enveloping Beomgyu into a hug he happily returned.

"I'm not going to mess it up this time. I promise, Y/N."

from: chaeby to: y/n :* what color will the maid of honor dress be? i think i look good in purple.

[beautifulpersonpeach]

BPP, sorry if you've answered this question before but what is your best song from Face?

***

Hi @tabbypuppykitty

I’ve had a rethink. I think Face-off is now my favourite song on the album.

Set Me Free Pt 2 is still top 3, but Jimin’s enunciation on Face-off brings a smile to my face every time I hear it because that man is too damn sassy for his own good lool.

In the latest Suchwita episode, Hobi revealed that Jimin practiced live singing six hours everyday before and during FACE promotions.

Six hours. Every day.

That made me pause. I started thinking about everything that happened during FACE. I don't talk about this at all here because I won't ever share personal pictures and I know I was incredibly lucky and many other people here likely deserved to see him before I did, but I saw Jimin live during his very first shows for FACE.

He was so happy. The joy on his face and the way he worked the crowd... like a fish in water. He gave some of the best performances of the year during FACE promotions. The whole project and the thoughtful way he went about promoting the album, is noteworthy.

(You should watch this if you haven't already)

*

But then I remembered the BS, the way k-pop stans reacted to the album, to the MVs, to the encore stage, the way BTS akgaes indulged in their sociopathy on his account, how BigHit failed (the anger Jimin biases feel is justified but some of y'all are wallowing in it). I remembered a few of Jimin's Wlives, how so much has been going on for him this year, and then tried to fit 6 hours daily practicing into it...

I have to stop myself when I think about Jimin. He has such latent intensity, like a glamour, a force field around him... it's like a black hole that sucks everything, including you, into him and his world. It scares me.

I know I whine about Jimin biases but y'all amaze me ngl. It takes a special fortitude of heart to bias Jimin. This post already sounds incredibly effusive, but I don't believe I'm exaggerating when I say he's a truly beautiful person. It's almost as though the world does not deserve him. It's impossible to not love him, desire him, care for him... want more sooner for him. I see all that, but I also see that man is stubborn as fuck.

He took his time to start work on his solo album. The middle of the Vegas concerts is when he said he suddenly came to his senses, shook himself out of that trance, and earnestly started putting together the FACE project. He'd written songs before, but FACE was its own thing. The personal stories he chose to communicate, the care in lyricism and production, the quality... Jimin created art in FACE and trusted that those who care for nothing but the best, will love it.

That's sexy, but the way he went about it also betrays a conservatism in him. It's a shadow of the edge in him, that thing about him that causes a tinge of anxiety when you watch him too closely.

I'm not sure if I'm making sense, but what I mean to say is you need a special kind of courage to bias and love Jimin. I recognize that. When I write what I do here, I always remember that. I also have very little respect for solos. And those two sentiments aren't mutually exclusive.

But taking it back to Face-off, my favourite thing about it is Jimin's sense of humour and skill coming through in the song, as well as how he enunciates his words. To really hear the switch in his tone, you need to stream in this order:

Like Crazy > Alone > Set Me Free Pt 2 > Face-off

By the time you get to Face-off, Jimin's voice has already gone through every variation possible, but then he brings out a tone I've heard only one other artist do well (Rihanna), and that tone is disgust.

Pure, refined sass. And he's already got the sauciest voice in k-pop.

The melodic and tonal choices Jimin makes at these timestamps fucks with my head:

1:53 - 2:08;

2:16 - 2:25;

2:41 - 2:56....

(lol, at this rate you might as well just listen to the whole song again.) Jimin is fantastic in the whole thing.

Europe is where Jimin belongs, but America would eat Jimin up too. The country already does if we're being real, America already loves Jimin. But given the right concept, Jimin would devour because he always does, and the world should get to see it. I hope I get to see more of it. As I've said before, if you feel inclined to communicate that to BigHit, I strongly suggest you do.

During Suchwita, Hobi showed how he's planned content for fans almost years in advance. It's possible Jimin does this too, planning music and content for fans to see months later... (So we might not learn why he went to London, for months...)

Yeah... I don't have the strength of heart to bias Jimin. Good luck to y'all.

*

...that was kind of a lot lool. So to calm down, Jimin:

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

Anyway, sorry I rambled. Face-off is a really good song and Jimin did an excellent job on it. The whole project is very good so I can't wait for the next songs we get from him. Shit can't get worse than BB deleting D2C sales so on the bright side, we can only go up from here, and for Jimin who already owns the record as the first soloist in history to debut #1 on the Billboard Hot 100, up will be a good spot to be.

Stream Like Crazy, Seven, All Day, and HUH?!

[joe9cool]

Invisible String- Collide

This takes place after the story and before the epilogues. Just a cute little story while listening to Invisible String by Taylor Swift

Mike Wozniak was in his attic, normally this was something his wife would be doing, but this was something that was driving him nuts since he discovered the tall young man that stole his youngest daughter's heart.

Justin looked familiar, but he couldn't put his place on it. Then the lightbulb went off in his head when he remembered Justin was from Oregon. He had never gotten a proper chance to mention it since everyone had been fussing over him the entire time he was visiting

After hours of searching through photo albums, he made an "Aha!" Noise as he grabbed the two photos he was looking for

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Dad, I thought you were taking this slow. You just had a medical emergency." Sara had decided to go home for a week to check on her dad before Justin's training camp started. She had just finished wrapping up promotional press for the shows new season premiere. Sara was cleaning her home when her dad surprised her with food and an envelope. "Where's mom?"

"Probably at her art class. Who knows?" Sara laughed and crossed her arms. "And how pissed would she be if she knew you were here with Chinese food?"

"Really pissed. But she will be gone for a few more hours and there's the farmers market on her way home. Plenty of time to hide the evidence." He set the food down as Sara got out the paper plates and plastic utensils. "What's in the envelope?"

He slid it across the dining room table as he began to plate some of the food. "Take a look for yourself."

Confused, she tucked a piece of her dark hair around her ear before opening the envelope. It was a series of photos. She studied the first one. It was a picture of her, Alyssa and their dad outside what looked like a stadium. She looked at the back, in her moms handwriting

7/12/2002

Autzen stadium, Eugene Oregon 

"Oh my god. How do I not remember this?" Sara examined the photo. She and Alyssa were dressed in typical early 2000s kids clothes. Their hair in pigtails, and they looked like they would have rather been anywhere but there. "I told Justin I'd never been there before but I guess I'm a liar."

Mike laughed. Taking a bite of his food. "It was an overnight business trip and I took your girls at the last minute since you were upset about Katie and Brittany going to Florida with your cousins. I didn't know anything about the area, saw this massive football stadium with Duck gear everywhere and got you this since you cried." There was a bag that he reached in. He pulled out a small stuffed Duck with an old Oregon logo on it. "Maybe one day, you could give it to your baby."

Sara took the duck and smiled. "I don't even remember having this." Her dad smiled. "Well you kept it in your room for a few days until Brittany made fun of you for having too many stuffed animals and then you threw them in the basin. You're lucky your mother is a sentimental hoarder."

He picked up the envelope and took out another photo. "This was when I went to New York for work because my company was sponsoring the college football awards. In 2019 I attended the national college football awards banquet to see my buddy Steve present the William Campbell trophy to a young man. I didn't know much about him, but he was very smart and polite in the brief moment I shook his hand."

He flipped the photo over and there was a group photo. All of the big execs surrounding Justin, and sure enough her dad was all of the way at the end.

"Who would have thought I'd be meeting my future son-in-law." Mike smiled as his daughter rolled his eyes. "Dad please."

"I'm just saying." He held his hands up.

—

"Wow. Now I feel bad, I didn't even recognize your dad when I met him in the hospital." Justin smiled as she showed him the two photos and the stuffed Duck. Sara laughed. "How would you have known?"

"True." He smiled. "You're a liar though." She looked confused. "Huh?" He got up and walked towards her, cornering her, he spoke slowly. "You told me you've never been to Eugene" She smiled, catching on by his tone. "I guess technically I did lie. Does that mean I'm a bad girl and need to be punished?"

She squealed as his hand snaked around her to squeeze her ass hard. "Bad girls always get punished."

—-------------------------------------------------------------

A week after she showed him the photos something else had happened. She was scrolling on her tiktok page when a photo she recognized came across her for you page.

It was an old photo that her college roommate Cameron had posted back in 2017 on instagram. Fans must have dug up the photo as the old friend's profile was open.It was a photo of them at a UCLA football game, one of the few she attended. They were on the field, her name starting to pick up as she gotten some guest star roles on tv shows and was gaining traction in movies. Her and Cameron were by the end zone. She captioned it

One day she will get into football.

The person who posted it had used the song 'invisible string' as the sound

Isn't it just so pretty to think All along there was some invisible String, Tying you to me

Sliding over the person had zoomed in on the same photo. Sara gasped as she recognized the guy on the field throwing a few feet behind them

It was Justin, her Justin.

She smiled widely. She vaguely remembered that game. From what she did remember, she was bored and on her phone messaging a douche that she was dating while waiting for call backs.

How close she was to meeting him. His hair was buzzed short, and he paid no attention to the chaos around him as he was getting ready for the game. Typical Justin.

Smiling, she made a few calls.

—--------------------------------------------------------------

A few weeks later, Justin was at camp as Sara had just gotten in from another day of protesting for the writers. She was cooking dinner when he walked in. "Hey babe." He kissed her. "Smells good, as usual. I'm going to change."

"Okay when you're done I have a surprise for you." He lifted his eyebrows. "Oh?" His earlier task was forgotten. "Is it another workout?" He wiggled his eyebrows in a suggestive manner.

"That's for later. I'm talking about an actual gift."

Justin sighed and Sara laughed, deciding to show him earlier, she grabbed the frame from one of the drawers. He took it and was confused for a second. "Who is the girl with you?"

"My roommate Cameron this was when we went to the UCLA Oregon game." She smiled as she saw the recognition on his face. "Hey that's me in the back!" Justin looked up and laughed. "This was in 2017. Oh my god."

She smiled. "Who would have known? It's too bad you had that shaved head otherwise I would have definitely tried to fuck you." He rolled his eyes. "You know I had a girlfriend at this time?"

“So was I, well kinda, we were seeing other people on the side.” He narrowed his eyes “Hey I was a hoe when I first got into the La/Hollywood scene”

“I don’t want to hear about that.” She laughed at his jealousy. “You know the chicken needs some time to cool off, I need to keep busy.” She dragged a finger down his chest. Catching on, he put her over his shoulder and immediately went into the room. Unbeknownst to them, the music playing in the background begun playing ‘invisible strings’

A.N. This was just something cute I thought of while listening to the song

[gothicprep]

in december, many of us watched a 4 hour long argument about plagiarism on youtube, and how bad this is for creativity more broadly. but here's another thing that bugs the hell out of me, that i'd argue is just as bad for creativity online: influencer circle-jerk. luckily, i can make my case for how disheartening this is in under 4 hours.

there's a podcast i listen to sometimes called otherworld. it's aiming to be the "this american life" of ghost stories, but its secondary purpose is also to give advertising plugs to the host's insufferable LA transplant friends. it's incidentally good when it's not doing that, but it's insufferable to listen to when it is.

some of the podcast guests include:

bonnie mckee, songwriter for the worst things that plagued your ears in the early 2010s, such as "california gurls" by katy perry and "dynamite" by taio cruz. poor bonnie's solo career never really took off – can't imagine why that is – but she's still giving it a go. incidentally, she started re-recording some songs that were left on the cutting room floor for an earlier album of hers in 2022, which lines up with when she appeared on the pod.

kareem rahma, also known as kareem on instagram, host of a tiktok series that's basically just bothering people on the subway for content. he's also co-founder of something called "nameless network", with some ex-vice employees (put a pin in vice, we'll come back to it later). the purpose of the company is making viral hack shit: "i promise this made for instagram pizza museum is more than a cynical waste of your time. pwomise 🥺". hmm, what do you know. vice is the outlet covering it. the host says they met at a dinner party thing in los angeles.

two episodes about a married couple named sean johns and gina. they're psychics but the real deal! there's definitely a real deal for this sort of thing! the wife is, as you may have already guessed, big on tiktok, and you should listen to her because she uhhh knows what she's talking about for real. not like those other fraudulent people on witchtok (which is all of them, including her, but whatever). unfortunately i forget what her handle was, but i'm sure someone who has more time on their hands to dig for it can dredge it up.

two more episodes with, what do you know, a clairvoyant. did you know that she's the real deal and not one of those fake ones? she's referenced in the episode series prior to this, and what a fucking coincidence, the host of the show had an appointment with her before he began this project. oh, and someone from a more recent episode happened to be a client of hers too. (side note: one episode has a recorded reading of hers, and it'll come as no shock to anyone, but she's just as vague as every other hippie con artist who does this shit for a living)

one guest named alex doesn't outwardly seem like he's an influencer or trying to be, but it's probably worth noting that he's told the same story on at least one other podcast, so who knows what this guy's motivations are

gabi abrao, another influencer and one of the countless writers riding rupi kuar's coattails. i probably don't need to elaborate further.

actress and comedian sarah sherman guest hosts one of the episodes for no clear reason.

jack corbett, who makes bad tiktoks about economics for npr, is another guest. i'd be more forgiving of him, because i don't think it's possible to make good tiktoks about economics, but sadly his episode was one of the worst on the show. guy gets drunk after a bad breakup, fucks his leg up, blames it on tiktok astrologers cursing him. whatever dude. and get this – he and the host both say that they met at the same dinner party that the kareem guy i mentioned earlier was at.

bear in mind, this is only nine episodes out of a 65 episode show, but i think that's enough to say that there's at least some clout-sharkery going on. it doesn't help that the "official" subreddit – meaning, the one moderated by one of the show's producers – has a tendency to go dark when the fans complain about one of the guests. this happened with the psychic married couple and the npr tiktok guy. it's one of those things that makes you wonder if the motivation behind the blackouts is that the complaints give away that this is a bad avenue to plug your shit.

i'm not the only one who's suspicious of this. see this post on the fanmade sub, which asks, "what are the odds that this podcast is total bullshit?" OP defends this in part by saying, "Jack [the host] literally got famous from being a troll/social media guru/guy who’s good at making things go viral"

about that. you might remember this dumb thing that went viral in 2018 of a mural in LA that only influencers could take pictures at. it ended up being a publicity stunt to promote a webshow that jack from this podcast was attached to. what makes that vice article i linked to, imo, really unethical is that the author, justin caffier, is friends with jack. or at the very least, well-acquainted enough that jack was a guest on an episode of caffier's podcast that was published a few months earlier.

i don't know. when you dig shit like this up, it just seems like there's so much content out there that's mostly created as avenues for the worst people alive to network with one another. or if not that, this is the foundation for an argument that those vice pieces like "some fucking idiots took 20 tabs of LSD in the desert" solely exist for whoever wrote them to advertise their vapid friends' social media whatever. and nothing good ever comes out of it. it's a shallow gambit for quick money and attention, designed to be thrown away and forgotten about in 2 weeks. it's depressing!

jack holds that "otherwold isn't a show about the paranormal, it's a show about people". and given all this, that statement feels revealing.

[kabillieu]

Last night, Everclear, Fuel, and Hoobastank performed as part of a tour they do together for military bases all over the U.S. I do not care about Fuel or Hoobastank, but I was really excited to see Everclear. I believe I have mentioned this on here and to everyone including, recently, my hairdresser and neighbor.

My big kid's annual spring school carnival was also last night at the same time. I asked Dominic to verify the lineup, and he was told that Everclear was performing last, so I took big kid to his school event, planning to stay an hour and then join my spouse and baby at the show.

Well, Everclear went first and I missed them. I'd been listening to them all week, mostly their second and third albums, but also some newer stuff I had never bothered to listened to. I was really looking forward to seeing them live.

It was important to take my big kid to his school event because he was looking forward to it. He was especially looking forward to seeing his friend from school, and I always try to support him when he's doing social stuff since that can be an issue for him. It was the right thing to do, he had a good time, but it still smarts to miss Everclear!

I've been thinking for weeks now about why I've been so excited to see a minor alternative rock band that I haven't thought about much since 1997. I listened to their album So Much for the Afterglow a lot, and there were a lot of songs off that album that got radio play, so obviously it's super nostalgic. But also, I taped "Santa Monica" off the the radio when I was 14, back when that's how you got access to music if you couldn't afford to buy it. You would just hang out in your room with the radio on and then haul ass over to your tape player to press record when a song you liked came on. I listened to "Santa Monica" over and over again on my walkman on a road trip with my family to New Orleans that summer. I loved the lyrics, the way it started slow and then picked up, the idea of leaving everything behind. Most of my teenage life I wanted to leave everything behind. Super common stuff for an angsty teenager, but Art Alexakis's songs spoke to that specific yearning. That was the first time I had ever been to New Orleans, and as I walked around the city with my family I thought about how fun it would be to come back in a few years with friends. And then I did. I spent years visiting friends in New Orleans. I spent years hanging out with Brooke and Dale.

In college, Dominic, Brooke, Dale, and I went to see Art Alexakis in Dothan for a solo set. I don't remember much about the music, but I do remember being with my friends. Art Alexakis had an extremely troubled childhood. He grew up in abject poverty. His sibling and girlfriend died very, very young from overdoses. He overdosed and almost died too, and then he cleaned up. All of his best songs have very sad lyrics laid over upbeat guitar, somewhere between post-grunge and pop rock. He has many songs about running away to a better life, about being fatherless, about how much he loves his children, about how things aren't good and maybe never will be.

My friend Dale died from alcohol addiction two years ago. It had been Brooke's idea to take Dale to go see Art Alexakis in Dothan. She kept it a surprise. It must have been a nice show, but I don't remember it. I do remember eating arroz con pollo with my friends beforehand.

Things don't stay the same. They keep changing, but you also have to live fully in a life where bad things have happened to you. That's something that all my favorite Everclear songs know. Art Alexakis is 62 now, and I asked Dominic how he sounded, and he said he sounded 62. I wish I could have gotten to see him. But I needed to be a good parent to my big kid, and that's something that I think Art Alexakis would appreciate.

[changingplumbob]

URL Song Tag Game

Thanks to being tagged by @seriallovertrait and @gamyrmaiden I get to bless you all with how eclectic my music taste really is. I'm going to tuck it all below the cut because my username is long.

Quick moment for all my beloved songs that start with s that won't be able to be mentioned 🕯️

Everyone who sees this is obviously tagged but I know not everyone is music mad. For some exact tags... @marcishaun, @sharona-sims, @daedriyth, @simslegacy5083, @aliengirl, @limeysims, @nigmos, @ethicaltreatmentofcowplants (feel free to shorten your username, or not, I'm not your boss), @eljeebee, @calicosimgirl, @mushbop. But EVERYONE is genuinely tagged because I'd put you all in if I could.

So, songs for the letters of my username below! Also including the lyrics I love because who am I if not someone who breaks the rules of tag games? Please don't feel like you have to do this level of detail, it's purely me making more work for myself.

EDIT: Omg and @matchalovertrait tagged me to but I missed it because I took so long doing this 🫠

C Curtains: Ed Sheeran

This one is my, I see the light at the end of my depression tunnel song. It came out just as my mental health was moving into a better place. Obviously I also love Ed Sheeran.

Can you pull the curtains, let me see the sunshine? I think I'm done with my hidin' place, and you found me anyway It's been forever, but I'm feelin' alright Tears dry and will leave no trace, and tomorrow's another day

H Heroes: David Bowie

I love David Bowie! This song is a classic and it always makes me happy.

I, I will be king And you, you will be queen Though nothing will drive them away We can be Heroes, just for one day

A All the King's Horses: Karmina

I am still obsessed with Reign. This song I actually heard and fell in love with before I saw it on the show though. It conveys such rich emotion. Seriously, if you only listen to one song from my post, make it this one. It makes me want to write every time I listen to it.

All the king's horses and all the king's men Couldn't put me back together again

There is a reason I'm still standing I never knew if I'd be landing And I will run fast, outlast Everyone that said no

N Never Enough: Loren Allred

I love musicals, though I'm not as obsessed as some. I really like the Greatest Showman and it has a bunch of great songs. This song always takes my breath away.

All the shine of a thousand spotlights All the stars we steal from the night sky Will never be enough Never be enough Towers of gold are still too little These hands could hold the world but it'll Never be enough Never be enough

G Gold Forever: The Wanted

My boyband phase was The Wanted rather than One Direction. I love Gold Forever, and hearing it gives me all the nostalgic high school feelings. I still can't believe Tom is dead.

Promise me, you'll stay the way you are Keep the fire alive and stay young at heart When the storm feels like it could blow you out Remember, you got me and I got you

'Cause we are butterflies, butterflies, we were meant to fly You and I, you and I, colors in the sky When the innocence is dead and gone These will be the times we look back on

I It Won't Be Long Now: In the Heights Original Motion Picture Cast

I love so many songs from this film, some days I will just listen to the album on loop for hours. This one is a favourite, along with Blackout and Champagne.

The neighborhood salon doesn't pay me what I wanna be making but I don't mind As I sweep the curb I can hear those turbo engines blazing a trail through the sky I look up and think about the years gone by But one day I'm walking to JFK and I'm gonna fly!

N Nothing Left to Lose: Jeremy Jordan and Eden Espinosa

Yes this song is from the Tangled animated TV series. I see no problems. These two are great singers and honestly I could just copy/paste all the song lyrics because it's great.

So I chose To lose my doubts and lose my chains Lose each weakness that remains Now that I have nothing left to lose Nothing left to lose

G Give Me Your Hand: The Ready Set

This is one that gets stuck in my head easily but I actually fell in love with it because the lyric video for it is singing the song in sign language! We love inclusion and accessibility here!

She said 'I love this song I've heard it before and it stole my heart I know every word' She's gonna dance all night night, Till it hurts Singing the best song ever, best song ever!

P Playground: High Dive Heart

I like a bunch of songs by High Dive Heart and was stoked this one could fit on the list! I love it because I'm a senimental sap at heart and the whole song is a nostalgic dream of what made our childhood before we grew up and had to tackle the real world.

That's why they call e'm the good ole days Taking on the world cause we weren't afraid Jumping off rooftops in our skates Cause we didn't know we could break If I knew then, what I know right now I would've stayed on the playground I left my heart in the lost and found I should've stayed on the playground

L Life On Mars: David Bowie

Another Bowie song? YES! When I play his legacy album and get to this one I often have to put it on single song repeat for a while.

Sailors fighting in the dance hall Oh man, look at those cavemen go It's the freakiest show Take a look at the lawman Beating up the wrong guy Oh man, wonder if he'll ever know He's in the best selling show Is there life on Mars?

U Unapologize: Carrie Underwood

I am a romantic so of course I'm going to love this song.

I unapologize I meant every word Won't take back the way I feel about you Can't unsay what you heard

'Cause you heard me right, and I won't try To fight 'em back or hide my feelings for you I unapologize

M Monster Under My Bed: Bebe Rexha

You know that song The Monster sung by Eminem and Rihanna? Well Bebe Rexha wrote it! I love her solo version, not to rain on the rap version obviously, but I love her early music.

In a world so black and white Out of place and out of my mind Woke up and I realized Imperfection is divine

B Babe: Taylor Swift

So I heard the Sugarland version featuring Taylor Swift, loved it, adored the music video! Then Red (Taylor's Version) came out and I learned she actually wrote it? I love it.

I'm here on the kitchen floor You call, but I won't hear it You said no one else We ain't getting through this one, babe I break down every time you call We're a wreck, you're the wrecking ball You said no one else This is the last time I'll never call you, babe

O On Melancholy Hill: Gorillaz

I heard this one first when playing Life is Strange 2 and I love it. The rhythm is soothing to my brain.

Where you can't get what you want But you can get me So let's set out to sea, love 'Cause you are my medicine When you're close to me

B Brave, Honest, Beautiful: Fifth Harmony ft Meghan Trainor

I was never obsessed with Fifth Harmony but during university I did have a rough time and there was a bunch of their singles I'd listen to on loop to lift my spirits. This was one.

You can dance like Beyoncé You can shake like Shakira 'Cause you're brave, yeah You're fearless and you're beautiful, you're beautiful

So whine like Rihanna Go and pose like Madonna 'Cause you're brave, yeah You're honest and you're beautiful, you're beautiful, girl

[a-trick-or-two-with-lepers]

Ranking My Favorite Jesus Christ Superstar (1973) Songs

Twenty-two songs. Five hours. One helpless, JCS-obsessed tumblr user who has so many other things they could be doing with their time. Get ready!

Disclaimers: I'm going to try to base my ranking on the soundtrack alone, but for some numbers, I really can't separate the song from the visuals. I won't be including "The Crucifixion" or "John 19:41," since those don't really count imo. The former, I will say, has some of my favorite chaos jazz that's ever been produced, so I'll give it that. Also! I LOVE this musical, and I LOVE this movie. Even the lowest songs have made it onto my playlists once or twice. So if I bash your fav, don't be too offended <3

22. Peter’s Denial - This one is really only low on the list because of how short it is. All things considered, I really like that funky little intro. Also, I think Mary, Peter, and whoever that third guy in the scene is with them (John??) would make a good throuple YEAH I SAID IT.  

21. Hosanna - I don’t know why I’m putting this one so low, either. It’s very fun and pleasant to listen to, and it’s got some great ensemble work, which is always something I jive with. I guess it’s just not as captivating to me as some of the other songs in this film. I actually like some other versions of this song better than the 1973 one (!!) Nevertheless, this song is genuinely really good and it shows that, hey, Jesus can smile! 

20. Then we are Decided - This is the only production of the musical I’m aware of that contains this song. I have mixed feelings about it. On one hand, it’s a great song. I don’t know if ALW+Tim Rice are physically capable of collaboratively making a bad song. Also, I love Bob Bingham and Kurt Yaghjians’ voices, so anytime I get to hear them, I’m happy. On the other hand, I can see why this one was taken out of most productions. It wasn’t in the original concept album, and it kind of breaks up the story. It does provide extra context for Caiaphas’s motivation, but it doesn’t say much that isn’t reiterated in “This Jesus Must Die.” There just really isn’t a place for it in most productions, which is such a shame. At least we got this amazing screengrab out of it. Annas, you creepy little shit, I love you.

19. Pilate’s Dream - It took me far too long to recognize that this is the same song as the second part of “Poor Jerusalem,” which is funny given that they are right next to each other in the movie. I love the acoustic guitar in this one, and Barry Dennen is seriously one of the most subtly expressive actors I’ve seen. You could watch this scene 1,000 times and still be picking up new context on your 1,001st viewing. As far as the song goes, it’s a very nice introduction to Pilate’s character. Also, I think that discordant “Pilate” the chorus sings at the end doesn’t get enough praise.

18. King Herod’s Song - First of all, the way this scene just. 1) Inserts itself into the film 2) Refuses to elaborate 3) Leaves. I love it. I love how uncomfortable Herod’s whisper singing makes me, I love his campy friends, everything about this scene is amazing. It’s an absolute 180 in terms of tone, but I kind of love it for that.

17. I Don’t Know How to Love Him - I find it interesting that the most popular song from this soundtrack is also what many consider to be the most boring. Personally, I find the song very beautiful and fascinating, but I can see why it’s skippable for some. I’m just a massive fan of Yvonne Elliman. I think the only people that have come close to her version are Helen Reddy and Sara Bareilles. Also, I like to read this song as someone rediscovering their own self-worth through love after experiencing trauma from past relationships, which I think is a very relatable struggle.

16. Pilate and Christ - Pilate is just. So sassy. What’s most impressive about this performance is that Barry Dennen considered himself an actor first and a singer second. His acting is certainly spot-on, but his singing is pretty fantastic as well! The tension between Pilate and Jesus in this scene almost rivals that of Jesus and Judas… almost.

15. Overture - An overture is meant to provide the audience with a bit of musical context for what they’re about to hear. This piece does a very good job at that. The electric guitars immediately invoke intrigue- then the horns come in, then the strings and percussion get going, and at this point, any viewer of this film would be hard-pressed not to be at least a little excited. Then the “Heaven on Their Minds” riff starts, and I, for one, was instantly hooked. I especially like the violin bit near the end. The chorus wordlessly mimicking what will be Judas’ sung betrayal is chilling. The whole thing is a beautiful combination of rock music and traditional broadway styling, which is a good description of the rock opera in general. 

14. The Arrest - I really like the leitmotif that is used whenever Jesus is overwhelmed by a crowd. It was used with the temple-goers, the lepers, and now with his own people that have turned against him (and some who cautiously maintain their support for him). Also, like Matt Berry said, the “Now we have him, now we’ve got him” bit of the song is pretty bone-chilling. 

13. Could We Start Again Please? - I really like this song. I know it wasn’t in the original concept album, but its placement actually makes sense, and Ms. Elliman, naturally, sounds heavenly. The melody of this song is really nice, and it doesn’t sound at all out of place in the movie. 

12. What’s the Buzz/Strange Thing Mystifying - This is one of those songs that’s hard not to move around to. It’s just so much fun! It also is Jesus’s first physical and vocal appearance, and WOW. Neeley is a truly underrated 70s rock singer. His voice is impeccably strong and gorgeous. He’s somehow been criticized for this role (mostly by angry Catholics) for being too untouchable and emotionless. I just can’t agree with that. Did any of those reviewers even listen to the movie they were watching? Neeley’s far-off gaze is not something he can change, and I for one think it adds to the character. He provides what I think is the best portrayal of Jesus Christ in any production of JCS. Besides that, the ensemble is doing great here, too! I promised not to get too involved in the visuals for this ranking, but I have to mention the movements in this scene. The apostles and women are just so jumpy and full of energy. It really makes the scene fun to watch. And Mary! I’m a long-time fan of Yvonne Elliman, and she was the only person I knew of beforehand going into this film. Her voice is so mature and unique, which is perfect for the role of Mary. She was the initial performer of this role in the concept album, the broadway show, and the film, and it shows. This role belongs to her. Obviously, it’s a bit annoying that we got yet another portrayal of Mary as an ex-sex-worker, but if we got “Strange Thing Mystifying” out of it, I can’t be too mad. Judas really gives off jealous bitch vibes here, but he does make some good points.

11. Everything’s Alright - Oh Yvonne, who allowed you to steal my heart? Seriously, she sounds so, so lovely in this song. This song is so calming. It uses a 5/4 time signature, which gives it distinction. The contrast between the cool comfort of Mary’s voice and the angsty gravel of Judas’ voice is very striking. Both Judas and Jesus hit some insanely difficult belts here, and they do so flawlessly. This scene also expands on the relationship between Judas and Jesus, which is jam-packed with not-entirely-heterosexual intensity. As the chorus repeats the titular line at the end with increasing volume and intensity, we get the distinct impression that everything is, in fact, not alright.

10. The Last Supper - I could go either way on the apostle’s part. It’s good, and it has some good harmonies in the latter parts, and it also reminds me of John Denver somehow? Anyway, the mellow gold aesthetic is one of my favs, but that’s not why I love this song. The absolute release of tension that is the fight between Jesus and Judas is captivating. My head moves as if I’m watching a heated tennis match when these two get going. I’ve seen versions of their interaction that just don’t go well on stage because the parts require so much energy and intensity, and sometimes they have this, but it just doesn’t sound good. But since this is a film, we can be confident that we are seeing and hearing the best takes from the actors. In this version, I can feel the heat between J and J, but they also sound fucking amazing while arguing. Their final interaction tugs at my heart. And these two actors portray their relationship with such authenticity that it’s almost hard to watch any other version without holding this up as the standard. Also, fun fact: they separate at exactly 1 hour into the film.

9. This Jesus Must Die - I have a big crush on both Caiaphas and Annas. Their voices just mesh so well together; Annas has these Al Stewart-like whimsical vocals, and Caiaphas has this deep, sexy growl. (I have a raging hard-on for good bass voices if you couldn’t tell). They sometimes put baritone singers in this role, which just doesn’t really work. This part needs a man who sounds like he just came out of the black lagoon and desperately needs a drink. Along with how it sounds, the lyrics of this song are super clever. The “Jesus is Cool” line is an inside joke in the community- they removed it from many popular productions, which is disappointing as hell. It’s one of the best lines in the song! Anyway, as far as “villain” songs go, this one is top-tier for sure.

8. Damned for all Time/Blood Money - I love me some good Judas angst. But in all seriousness, this song is ridiculously hard to sing. It would be enough with the sheer number of words sung in quick succession, but it is also written in a pretty high register. I, as a female alto, struggle to comfortably reach some of the notes, but Carl Anderson, of course, does it flawlessly. Of course, I’m also obsessed with Caiaphas and Annas, so any song they’re in makes me kick my feet like a schoolgirl. This scene, being the turning point in the show, makes its mark and has impeccable pacing for such a chaotic number.

7. Judas’ Death - Carl Anderson is a performer. I felt everything Judas felt in this scene. His reprise of “I Don’t Know How to Love Him” is impossible to look away from or tune out. When I first watched this scene, I didn’t know Judas was going to reprise the fucking love ballad. My jaw was on the floor the whole time. Other actors sometimes make this part sound ugly and raw, which is fine, but emotion can be portrayed while singing while still sounding good. That’s what really gets me about this version. You can feel the raw emotion, and yet you can’t deny how good the singing is. I also didn’t know Judas was going to straight up hang himself, and that kind of shocked me. To think this movie was rated G back in the day! 

6. Simon Zealotes/Poor Jerusalem - Oh man. I’ve gotta be careful here if I want to keep my ranking based on sounds alone, cause this scene is just visually AMAZING. I might make a post about how much I adore this scene- the choreography, the craftsmanship, the absolutely iconic shots, the goofy ass freeze frames- I just love it all so much. The song is nothing to sneeze at, either. It feels like something you’d hear in one of those fun-loving, joyful churches that promote same-sex marriage. Larry Marshall has such a cool voice; you can tell he really put his all into it. Apparently, he initially tried to reign it in so as to respect the source material, but Norman Jewison just told him to go all out. So that’s what he did. It makes for a damn good number. As for “Poor Jerusalem,” I love hearing Ted Neeley’s softer voice. When he reaches into his falsetto, it sends shivers up my spine. 

5. The Temple - I love a good ⅞ song. Additionally, I love a good ensemble song. In addition to that addition, I love seeing Jesus go off and flip tables and shit. But that’s not why this one is so high on my list. This song skyrockets up my personal ranking due to what happens between the temple and the leper scenes, when Neeley scream-sings “MY TEMPLE SHOULD BE A HOUSE OF PRAYER, BUT YOU HAVE MADE IT A DEN OF THIEVES! GET OUT! GET OUT!” I get actual chills every time I listen to him do that. I also really like the way the leper scene ramps up musically. It starts off slow and creepy, and ends in a wholly claustrophobic panic-inducing chant. The harmonies are also very pleasing. 

4. Trial Before Pilate - This song is a masterclass in rock opera composition. Barry Dennen’s performance is absolutely, without a doubt, the most incredible embodiment of this role that I’ve seen. Pilate’s songs were essentially made for him, because like Ms. Elliman, he was the first to play his respective role. I genuinely don’t know how he was able to perform Pilate night after night on tour, because this role is supremely demanding vocally. You can tell he is a professional, though, because you can’t just scream at the top of your lungs every night without good technique. I could say a lot more about this one, but I’ll save that for another time.

3. Superstar - I really wish the little guitar intro was kept in future versions of this song. (How many times can I talk about guitar intros in this ranking??) This song is SO! MUCH! FUN! I have to take a second to talk about the cinematography in this scene… it’s really something else. It mayyyy have influenced the ranking, just a bit. Nonetheless, it’s Carl Anderson singing, so of course, this song sounds stupendous. He hits those high notes like it’s nothing. Also, I have to say: this number is very clearly directly influenced by motown-style music, and hearing a black man singing it just feels right. In fact, rock as a genre can be traced back to music created and sustained by black folks. It makes sense that my favorite versions of this musical involve diverse casts. Anyway, I really like this song because of how direct it is with its message. It’s not only Judas asking these things of Jesus, but us as the audience. Why would he put himself in such a bad position? How could he let it get this out of hand? Did he lose his message along the way? Contemplative shit like that set to a 70’s disco dance scene has me losing my mind, and I’m absolutely in love with it.

2. Gethsemane - I was considering putting this song lower, both to piss off my discord friends and because I genuinely enjoy listening to other songs from this soundtrack more, but I just had to give it a high-ranking spot. By this point you must be well aware of my love for Ted Neeley and his rock-god voice, but he really, truly steps it up here. It says a lot that he is still able to perform this song at almost 80 years old. He cares about what he’s doing. A lot. And while I’m not religious, some of my favorite music comes from religious people simply because they believe they are singing for something bigger than themselves. I strive to achieve that passion with my own voice and music, and I believe it can be done without a connection to a higher being. You just have to trust your own voice and focus on your message/role, and Mr. Neeley does not fail on this front. All of this, and he hits the g5 note perfectly. He seriously sounds so goddamn amazing and I’m tired of people saying he’s overrated. Give this man the respect he deserves.

1. Heaven on Their Minds - I could gush about Carl Anderson’s performance of this song for hours, and I mean HOURS. Not only does he completely embody the role of Judas, but he sounds damn good while doing it. He combines this gravelly rasp with clean, clear notes, and every belt is perfectly executed. The agonized fade-out at the end is not something that’s really possible on-stage, so I appreciate it all the more in the movie. This was the first song in the musical that I saw in full, and it’s really what started my obsession. Even though HOTM is a nearly perfect musical theater/rock song, it was Mr. Anderson’s performance of it that got to me.  To me, he IS Judas whenever he’s on screen. His voice is just… spectacular. Additionally, as an agnostic person, the lyrics in this song really resonate with me. “You’ve begun to matter more than the things you say” instantly became one of my favorite lines in musical theater upon first listen. Like I said, I could go on and on about this one, so I’ll just go ahead and stop myself here.

FINALLY! DONE! Whoo, that took much longer than expected (probably because I kept getting distracted) but I had a lot of fun making it. Lemme know your thoughts/opinions/insults/threats in the comments/reblogs/tags <3

[sleekervae]

Yoü & I [2.4]

Masterlist

A/N: Happy Nov 1st everyone! Spooky season is over, my cold is gone and I have a renewed energy to push out some more overdue content while on my reading break. Hope you all enjoy and don't forget to like, comment and reblog ;)

Warnings: mentions of depression, abandonment, attachment issues, family drama

"You see all the world to believe

That there's a lot inside of me But it's time that I'll come clean I'm not what I seem, no Some would say I'm possessed, yeah But I'll confess, I've just been obsessed With life and death and emptiness, I guess Can't you see all of the change in me?You took these starving limbs, try to see Try to see what they could be I thought it would be something I thought you'd complete me That you'd erase all the pain that I felt in my brain If you fill my heart with love Then you'd fill my voids above

And now you see I didn't change a thing"

Maria listened to the recording word-for-word, her heart breaking with every sorrowful note Charlotte sang. She knew Charlotte was a little fragile, but hearing this made her fret beyond words. 

Charlotte meanwhile sat on Maria's bed, clutching her velvet body pillow as she patiently awaited Maria's critiques. Maria pulled the headset off and pushed away from her desk, staring at Charlotte with overwhelming concern.

"That's really fucking deep," she gasped, "When did you write this?"

"Last night," Charlotte admitted, "I got a little drunk and... then I got creative," 

It was evident she was changing, using her complex emotions to weave lyrical mastery. Maria was beyond impressed, she was also scared for her. 

Maria got up from the desk chair and came to sit with her friend on the bed, holding her tightly. She was spooked, Charlotte had a side to her that was much darker and heavier than any of the girls had witnessed during their first EP and album. Maria wanted desperately to take all complexities away, yearning for the days when they'd tease Charlotte about her and Luke's friendship and when Charlotte would tell them all to buzz off. She remembered Charlotte being happier, lighter a year and a half ago.

But she also wasn't happy then, either.

God knew how many mountains it would take before Charlotte would finally find the happiness and peace she wanted. And it was clear that what was once a cute and platonic friendship had stemmed into something that was twisting Maria's best friend inside out and back again. 

"Charlotte," she spoke quietly, "What happened yesterday?" 

Charlotte wiped her nose on her sweater sleeve, she was ironically chilled since it was the dead of summer now. 

"Luke was supposed to come by. We're working on the song I showed you last week, thinking maybe we'd perform it at a couple shows," she huffed quietly, "He stood me up. He called me hours later to apologize but -- I don't know. Maybe I'm just making mountains out of mole hills?"

"What is it?" Maria asked, "Talk to me babe, I don't like seeing you like this," 

Charlotte shrugged, "I just got this idea that he was afraid to be talking to me. He was almost whispering, like he'd be in trouble if..."

"... If Melody knew he was talking to you?" Maria asked. Charlotte scoffed.

"I mean -- you're whispering into the phone while your girlfriend is in the next room? I'm not your damn mistress! I'm your friend! I've been there for him longer than Melody ever has!" 

Maria grabbed her by the shoulders, smoothing out the ripples in her cardigan, "I know Lottie, I know," she nodded, "Do you think maybe that's the problem, though? Melody maybe feels threatened by you?" 

Guilt wormed its way back into Charlotte's gut, her chest tightening. She was selfish, jealous, and yeah, she was definitely needy. 

"I want what's best for Luke, and she thinks she also knows what's best for him but -- I mean, every time they have a fight I'm the one he comes to. I'm the one he escapes with. I --"

"He uses you," Maria stated calmly, "And it's not fair to you. Not with the way you're feeling,"

Charlotte was taken aback, but a little relieved, seeing that someone else could see it to, "Maria..."

Maria shook her head, "You used him just as much as he uses you. It's not his fault, or yours. You're not bad people. But Luke is naive; and so were you for a little while. Melody still has her hooks in Luke and winds him tighter than a bobbin, so the poor kid doesn't know what do to,"

Charlotte sighed heavily, "I mean -- she must be phenomenal in bed or something. I just -- I can't figure it out. Why does he stay with her?"

"For the same reason you stay with Luke," Maria replied. Charlotte found it odd how she spoke in present tense.

"Stay?"

Maria listed off her fingers, "You recognize you're in a complicated situation. You have complicated feelings. You think Luke will give you everything you want. But you won't point out the trouble -- stir the pot, so the speak -- because you're afraid he's going to leave you. Just like Ben did," 

"I'm in a cycle," Charlotte finally admitted, "And I don't know how to stop it," 

"You need to find a way to break it," Maria nodded, looking down despondently, "And maybe that means taking some time off from Luke," 

Charlotte's eyes went wide, "Dude, we're back on the road in days," 

"I know," Maria nodded, "But you don't need to spend so much time with him. Not if it's going to cause you all this grief,"

"I don't have grief when I'm with him --"

"You have grief when he lets you down," Maria acknowledged, "Believe me, you're not the only girl in the world to be fucked over by men -- and their sadistic girlfriends,"

Maria loved Luke like a brother, but even she had to admit that he could be a little asshole at times. What, with the way that he used Charlotte: hiding at her place, confiding in her over and over and still letting her down. He was a good guy, yeah, but he wasn't her priority. Maria would step onto a third rail for Charlotte before Luke any day. 

And as for Melody, Maria would gladly clock her over the head with a Yellow Pages. Who the hell did she think she was? Dictating who Luke could and couldn't speak to? Making Charlotte feel so unwelcome when she was here first! She was the one who kept Luke's head together -- and maybe that was how the cycle could break? 

Charlotte needed to stop being so available.

"Men are a plague on all logical reason and thought," Charlotte huffed, lying back onto the duvet. Maria laid back with her.

"And no matter what, we're cursed to want to love them," she said, grasping Charlotte's cold hand, "... But we also need to protect ourselves from them,"

♛♛♛

This time around, Charlotte dreaded having to go back on tour. She believed Maria was right in that she needed some time apart from Luke. And yet, they'd be stuck together for three straight months, confined in tiny buses and green rooms. 

At least they were starting close to home -- New York State. On their way to Uncasville, Charlotte stopped back in Brooklyn for a couple days; knowing Troy wouldn't care so much but Penelope would give her the classic 'Greek Guilt' for not visiting. 

The Antonakis family sat at the dinner table, silently albeit. Troy was picking at his peas and carrots while Charlotte craved a cold beer as opposed to the glass of water her mom stuck to her. Penelope was noisily and obnoxiously cutting into her chicken breast, annoyed that her kids were being so quiet. 

"So, Charlotte," she finally said, "How was Europe?"

Charlotte glanced at Penelope, perplexed that she only asked after three dragging hours, "Beautiful," she answered truthfully, "We went to Vienna, Berlin, Rome..." 

"Did you see Hitler's bunker?" Troy asked, now more engaged than before.

"Yeah," Charlotte nodded, "It's a parking lot. No memorials or nothing. Just a dirty, greasy lot," 

"How fitting," Penelope nodded, "And the girls are okay?"

"They're great," she replied, "We're working on some new music,"

"You know what you're doing now?" Troy asked smugly.

Charlotte glowered at him, "Yes, Mr. Smartass," 

"And those boys you're traveling with?" Penelope finally asked, "Where are they from, England?"

"Australia," both Charlotte and Troy replied.

"Oh, that's right," Penelope grinned, "A bunch of koala huggers,"

Troy glanced listlessly at his mom, "I want to hold a koala someday,"

"They all carry diseases, darling. That's the last thing you want," Penelope warned.

"You can hang out with koalas at the zoo," Troy pointed out.

"That's the Central Park Zoo. They've all been sterilized," she replied promptly. 

Charlotte shook her head, "I feel like I'm in a zoo, sometimes," she muttered quietly. 

"And you excited for school, Troy?" Penelope asked, "Still floundering away in... what am I paying for, again?"

"Communications," Troy glared at his mom, "And I'm footing half the bill now," 

"Oh of course, that's right," Penelope turned to Charlotte, less than impressed, "Our baby boy has a job now," 

"Really?" Charlotte was surprised, if not a little relieved. He had to start paying back his student loans somehow and it was about time he pulled up his socks, "Where?"

"The pizza shop down the road. You make great tips," Troy grinned.

"He's the delivery boy," Penelope said, "Finally has an excuse to get that rusty old bike out of the yard," 

"That's great, Troy," Charlotte smiled.

"Thank you,"

"Now if only we could change his taste in loose women, then I'd be happy," Penelope said. 

Troy dropped his fork, the utensil clattered loudly against the porcelain, "I told you, I stopped seeing her," he sang sarcastically.

"And you still don't tell me where you go at night," Penelope mocked back. 

Charlotte glared between the both of them, "You just told me he's a delivery boy for a pizza shop," she said.

Penelope scoffed, "Oh, no. He has the day shifts. At night he's out at all hours and comes back early in the morning. Doesn't say where he's been but I always smell sex on him," she glowered at her son.

Troy rolled his eyes and turned to his sister, "Can I please come on tour with you?" Charlotte shook her head. 

"I'll stop getting after you when you tell me where you go at night," Penelope said.

"Why don't you stop trying to insert yourself into my life? You're like a stalker, mom!" Troy bit back, "You're a creep!" 

"Troy!" Charlotte scolded.

"I told you, if you weren't going to be truthful with me, then I'll find out for myself," Penelope told him. 

"That's bullshit!"

"Oh my God, you guys!"

"No swearing in my house!" Penelope scolded, "If you don't like my rules, then you can go live somewhere else,"

Troy, now red in the face, pushed himself away from the table and stood, "Fine, I will. Psycho!" he then stormed out. Two seconds later he stormed back in and grabbed his dinner plate, then stormed out again. 

Charlotte put her face in her hands; her crackhead family was the last thing she needed to deal with right now. Penelope shook her head and kept on eating.

"He'll be back," she sighed, "He left his phone on the chair," she also had a rule about having no phones at the table.

Charlotte shook her head, "I don't get why you're so hard on him," she said, "He's nineteen for God sakes,"

Penelope scoffed back, "And he's a boy. And I trust the opposite sex about as far as I can throw them," 

"Mom, that's ridiculous," she sighed, "Men are -- dumb, yeah -- but they're not all out to hurt you,"

"Oh no? How do you explain your father?" she glowered, "Up and left when you were seven years old! Totting off with a little Russian floozy at the Meat Packing District --"

"I know, mom! I know what happened, and we haven't seen Dad in years," Charlotte nodded, now getting irritated. It was the same story over and over whenever one her kids acted out; she'd guilt them into remembering how their father left and how they had to swear never to turn out to be deadbeats like him. 

Penelope snorted, "Old fool. Didn't even come crawling back when his baby scratched the skies of success -- and making us some actual money," 

Charlotte was unsure where her mom was veering off now, "... Is this some misguided attempt to get me to pay for Troy's tuition?"

"No," Penelope shook her head, "I have they money to pay for all of it. Let him think he's being a man, though. That boy has no idea what the world's gonna' do to him," 

Charlotte pressed her lips together, "Well, maybe he would if you would... I don't know... loosen the leash a little," 

Penelope glared at her with shock, "Loosen the leash? You give 'em an inch, they take a mile. You can't trust men, Charlotte,"

"Well, Troy's not going to trust you if you don't let him breath a little," Charlotte argued, "What is it with you? You sound like you don't like men at all!" 

"Charlotte, I love your brother!" she hissed back, her posture softening a little, "He's my baby. He's all I got left of your father -- and you. You're gone a lot, especially this year. And the more successful you get, the longer you'll be gone. Is it so bad for me to not want to be alone as I get older?"

Charlotte swallowed the lump in her throat. In her mom she could recognize the very issues she was dealing with: abandonment. Maybe this was where all her issues stemmed from, but like Penelope she wanted to keep the people she cherished so much as close to her as possible, even if they didn't reciprocate her feelings. She didn't smother Troy because she was a control freak, but because she didn't want to be alone. Her husband had disappeared off the grid and her daughter was touring from continent to continent, of course she would be a little lonely. 

"Mom, you're not alone," Charlotte finally said, "You'll always have Troy and I -- even if we are half-way across the world. But -- smothering your kids is just bound to drive them away, and then you'll definitely be alone. We love you, but you make it really hard for us to like you. And when you get all crazy on us, we don't want to be around you, so of course you're going to feel alone,"

Penelope stared despondently at her chicken and veggies, letting her daughter's words slowly sink in, "I've been driving you all away?" she said quietly.

"I wouldn't necessarily say 'driving us away', but you need to calm down. Let Troy be a nineteen-year-old kid. Men are naive, yeah, but they're not all out to hurt us. We are all trying to navigate the world for ourselves so we do what we think is right for us. And in Troy's mind, the further he get away from you, the happier he'll be," Charlotte said, "Give him some to breathe, and he'll come back," 

Penelope nodded slowly, "Maybe you're right, honey," she sighed, then she reached over and grabbed Troy's phone from the empty chair, "Besides, he has to come back anyway. That boy's life revolves on this thing,"

♛♛♛

Charlotte sat on the rooftop, smoking a joint and looking out over Brooklyn by night. The bridge was illuminated in bright blue lamps that casted diamond-esque reflections over the rippling water. Cars buzzed through the dark like fire flies, and someone had their wood-burning stove running, the comforting scent of a camp fire was floating through the air. It was cooler now than it had been earlier, summers in New York were exceptionally hot and the night was the only refuge you could get if you didn't have an AC. 

Penelope had been quiet most of the night, when Charlotte went up she was still sitting on the couch and watching Jeopardy, waiting for Troy to come home and apologize. On the one hand, Charlotte was relieved she could talk some sense into her overzealous mother, on the other hand, she couldn't wait to get back on the road and away from her family. There was too much drama she just didn't want to cope with at the time. 

Speaking of drama, she jumped when her phone rang beside her. Her heart sank when she saw Luke was calling her -- again. He had been trying to get in contact with her since they landed in New York, but Charlotte was taking Maria's advice and staving off her friend. Maybe he'd think she was mean, maybe that she was a bitch for ignoring him? Fine. 

She was upset, and she had every right to be. Her brain was doing somersaults, trying to weed out ways in which she could just turn her emotions for him off. She wanted to go back to way things were before, when Luke was nothing more to her than a goofball who liked penguins and sending ridiculous snapchats her way. When her stomach didn't sink every time he was near her. 

Charlotte ignored the call and continued to smoke, but the joint didn't seem to want to do its job tonight. If anything, it only made her think about Luke more. What was she going to say to him when they finally would have to meet up? Sorry, your girlfriend is a cunt and she's not going to dictate whether or not we can friends. By the way, I also happen to be in love with you and could treat you way better than she ever could. 

No, Charlotte shook her head, it's safer for you if you just keep your mouth shut. 

Inexplicably, her phone rang again. Luke was relentless this time, and Charlotte's patience was running thin. She reluctantly picked up the call.

"Hi," she greeted quietly.

She heard exhale on the other side, "You are mad with me, aren't you?" it hurt to hear because his voice was smooth velvet, and you could hear the disappointment in his voice. 

"... I'm not happy," Charlotte admitted. 

"I should've called you earlier, I know," he said, "I didn't mean to stand you up, Char, honestly,"

"I know," Charlotte nodded, "Luke, it's not just that, though,"

"What is it, then?" he seemed a little impatient now, "Charlotte, you've been ignoring me for days,"

"I know," 

"Did I do something?" that was a rhetorical question. So many things, and yet nothing at all. She just wanted to scream that it wasn't him that was the problem. 

"Luke... I got some shit I'm just trying to deal with," she kept it as vague as possible, "My family is stressing me out, I'm scrambling to get a song produced by November, I have to live out of a suitcase for the next three months, I just --" she trailed off quietly, unsure of what it was she wanted to say.

"Talk to me," Luke begged, "What's going on, Charlotte? You can always talk to me," 

Oh, how I wish that were true, now.

"I need to figure some things out, is all. So, maybe for the next little while... you wouldn't mind giving me some space?" Charlotte whimpered out meekly. 

The line was quiet, but she could still hear him breathing. She figured his mind was racing, trying to piece together what Charlotte was trying to say but she doubted he would know.

"Did I do something wrong?" he asked again, "'Cause I never want to hurt you," 

"This isn't about you, Luke," Charlotte lied again, "It has more to do with me," 

"Okay," he finally relented, "If I did anything, then I'm really sorry, Charlotte,"

How is it always about him?

"I know, Luke," she swallowed nervously, "I'll see on Friday?"

"See you Friday, I --" she hung up before he could finish, knowing that the next three words to leave his lips would have her agonizing the rest of the week. 

Little did Charlotte know however, across the street from her townhouse, Luke was hiding behind a corner at the end of the block. He was going crazy in his hotel room in Manhattan, trying and failing to reach her, so he flagged down a cab and went straight for Brooklyn.

He could see Charlotte's silhouette on the roof, the wisps of smoke floating from her joint. There was a cloud of gloom around her, he could see it from a mile away. He wanted to stop her pain, relieve her but he didn't know why she was upset. Not that she wouldn't dare tell him. 

He was trapped in a cycle with her, trying to get her to confide in him just as he did when she was with Ben. Eventually she would open up about what was happening, the key was to let her wait it out until she was ready to talk, she would come to him when she wanted. And no matter what, no matter what was happening, Luke would swear to drop it all and listen. He hadn't been a good friend to Charlotte, and he was determined to make it up to her now.

[mad-hatter-memes]

𝐍𝐨 𝐏𝐚𝐝𝐬, 𝐍𝐨 𝐇𝐞𝐥𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐬…𝐉𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐁𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐬

( A collection of  lyric  starters  taken  from  songs of Simple Plan's 2002 album: "No Pads, No Helmets...Just Balls". Feel free to edit as you see fit. )

I'd Do Anything

"So many things were left unsaid"

"Now you're gone, and I can't think straight"

"I'd do anything, just to hold you in my arms"

"Somehow I can't put you in the past"

"I'd do anything, just to fall asleep in your arms"

"Will you remember me?"

"I know I won't forget you"

Worst Day Ever

"I need to spend an hour snoozing"

"I don't think I'm going to make it"

"I feel like I'm living the worst day"

"I feel like the summer is leaving again"

"I feel like you're gone"

"Every day is the worst day ever"

"Yesterday was the worst day ever"

"Tomorrow won't be better"

You Don't Mean Anything

"Maybe I'm just not good enough for you"

"Maybe I just don't wanna be like you"

"I just don't wanna know how low you're ready to go"

"I'm not gonna change, you can't make me"

"You don't mean anything to me"

"You're what I never want to be"

"Does it feel good to be like you?"

"Why should I waste my time with you?"

"I'm sick of being pushed around"

"You think you know me, you don't know anything"

"Don't tell me where to go"

I'm Just a Kid

"I think I've got a lot of friends, but I don't hear from them"

"I'm just a kid"

"Life is a nightmare"

"The world is having more fun than me"

"They're gonna leave me here on my own"

"What the hell is wrong with me?"

"I'm bored and I can't fall asleep"

"Every night is the worst night ever"

When I'm With You

"I'm gonna be fine"

"I wanna feel the way you make me feel when I'm with you"

"I wanna be the only hand you need to hold on to"

"Every time I call you don't have time"

"I guess I'll never get to call you mine"

"You're nothing at all"

"I've got nowhere to turn"

Meet You There

"You left me here"

"I know you're never coming back"

"I hope that you can hear me"

"I'm waiting to hear from you"

"A part of me is gone and I'm not moving on"

"I'll meet you there, no matter where life takes me to"

"I wish I could have told you the things I kept inside"

"So many things remind me of you"

Addicted

"I heard you're doing OK"

"I'm addicted to you"

"I can't pretend I don't care"

"Do you think I deserve this?"

I tried to make you happy, but you left anyway"

"I'd run a thousand miles to get you"

"How long will I be waiting?"

My Alien

"I'm sick of being alone"

"When are you coming back?"

"She's not your typical girlfriend"

"She knows when something is wrong"

"Please take me to your leader"

"I bought the astronaut's kit, now all I need's a rocket"

God Must Hate Me

"I took my dad's car"

"I'm screwing up every little thing I ever try to do"

"I'm born to lose"

"God must hate me"

"Maybe you should pray for me"

"You can't save me"

"I wanna go home"

"Last night I had to study for this test"

"So what in the world am I supposed to do?"

"I never did anything to you"

"Can't you find something else to do?"

I Won't Be There

"I don't wanna make this harder than I have to"

"There's so many things I want to say"

"You just don't listen to me"

"I don't wanna hurt you"

"You don't wanna hurt me"

"I can't stand you"

"Tomorrow I'll be on my way"

"Don't expect to find me sleeping in my bed"

"You find a way to make it sound like I was born just yesterday"

"Everything you taught me doesn't mean a thing"

One Day

"Sometimes this house feels like a prison"

"I just can't believe it, all the stupid things you say"

"Sometimes I wonder if you know me, or if you just pretend to care"

"Are you on a mission to bring me down?"

"Go away"

"Don't look at me"

"We're not the same"

Perfect

"Did I grow up according to plan?"

"Do you think I'm wasting my time?"

"I just wanna make you proud"

"I'm never gonna be good enough for you"

"I'm sorry I can't be perfect"

"I try not to think about the pain I feel inside"

"Did you know you used to be my hero?"

"All the days you spent with me now seem so far away"

"It feels like you don't care anymore"

"I can't stand another fight"

"Nothing's gonna change the things that you said"

"I can't believe it's hard just to talk to you"

[titlemewickedwonderland]

Fan Service (Sleep Token oneshot)

Summary: Elena had been a fan of a lot of bands over the years. Her favorite had been Ghost and Sleep Token since she'd discovered them over a year ago; unfortunately, though she never had the opportunity to meet the band or go see them live before. What she didn't expect was for Sleep Token to have a show playing live just a few hours away from her city! Jumping at the chance to see them finally live she never expected how her night would turn out!

Pairings: Platonic!Vessel x OC, Plantonic!iii x OC

*Please note that I am aware Sleep Token does not interact with fans like this at concerts! One could only dream; this is just a silly little oneshot for you guys! I have not seen them live either and I know the interactions may seem oc considering what kind of band they are and their lore. Bear with me, it's just imagination just like all the other fanfics of bands out there! Hope you enjoy. This is not to portray their actual personalities or interactions! SIMPLY FANFICTION! Please don't come at me....I DO respect the band and their privacy to keep their personal lives and personalities out of media; I love them dearly and mean no disrespect to them as people or as a band. This is just something silly I thought up; experimenting, if you will...If you haven't seen them or listened to them; boy honey you're missing out!

My Workshop

She was jittery. Bouncing on the toes of her black hightops as she waited in line. The ticket clutched tightly in her hands as she scanned the rest of the crowd that lined up to the venue to get in. The excitement and anticipation for tonight's show were palpable on her tongue as she took a calming breath to stop the scatter of butterflies in her stomach from exploding from her body and out of her mouth. There were so many people here and although Elena was not fond of large crowds like this, she knew she'd regret it immensely if she didn't come tonight. The very idea that she could have, even by her own volition, missed out when her favorite band was so close to her performing made a knot form in her stomach; not helping her out at all with the nervous energy her body carried.

She'd been in love with the music this band created since she first found them out a little over a year ago. Sleep Token had bumped her love for this kind of music higher on her list - making her more obsessed with the addictive blend until she'd played playlist after playlist on endless loops through her speakers at her small apartment. And tonight, she drove a few hours from her hometown just to see them.

When her turn came at the line she handed over her ticket to get punched before being allowed entry. Her green eyes widened at the scene around her. Countless booths lined up with canopies advertising merch sales for everything under the sun. From T-shirts to sweatshirts, wristbands with the band's logos, to copies of their latest albums on CDs and so much more. The girl found herself standing near the barrier of other fans who were browsing the tables; staring down at the items displayed for purchase and bit her lip. It wasn't as if she didn't have the money; she'd saved up months from her job at the music store she worked at just for this chance to get a souvenir from the band she loved the most.

But despite her eagerness to snatch something up like a sweatshirt she refrained with all her willpower; she wasn't going to blow her whole paycheck until she'd seen everything there was to see. A slight breeze blew through the open venue causing her to shiver a bit and glance back at the stall showcasing the black zip-up sweaters only partly regretting not buying one since she didn't expect the weather to get cold tonight. She was dressed in a pretty dress. Black with white dragons all over it and the collar was high - like a turtleneck without the extra fabric and it hugged her body perfectly while a pair of hightop black shoes cased her feet for comfort. Her long brown hair was hanging down her back unhinged by the tie that was wrapped around her slender wrist. It wasn't like she was trying to dress to impress. She certainly didn't seem like she fit into this sort of environment while others dressed more for comfort or wearing varies of bandwear. But she'd just bought this dress and figured today would have been the best to wear it; even if it didn't go lower then the middle of her thighs. She got cold easily and she was beginning to regret not bringing a jacket to wear.

She'd followed the crowd towards the large open field where a large stage was constructed for the band to play and she weaseled herself to the front with ease; being so small at only 5'2" kind of helped. She wouldn't have been able to see Sleep Token on stage any other way not that she needed to - their music spoke more than the show they put on but man did she really want to see Vessel doing his adorable dances as he unhinged from the world and allowed the music to guide his body. She'd seen videos of other fan's uploads of his hopping and jumping on stage as he danced and she really wanted to see it live. So she took position at the iron railings that bracketed the fans from the stage at a safe distance and watched as tech people got the stage ready.

The sun was already low in the sky, the show going to start very soon - it was better experienced at night with all the light affects and strobe lights. Simply watching the way the tech people worked on stage made her heart race a bit as she knew in just minutes the show would begin and she would be right there at the front watching.

More people gathered behind her and Elena rested her arms against the railings as she watched; purposefully ignoring the fans behind her and on either side as they wanted to get the front row as well. If she dared to look behind her at all the people she would probably freak; she hated being at the front of any line let alone in the middle of a crowd so she didn't. Simply watched with anticipation and bated breath as the techs left and the lights began to come on. The show was beginning.

It was magnetic. It was addicting. It was like a shot of adrenaline through her system. Vessel's voice was like dark silk as he sang his lyrics and she was practically in a trance as she watched him perform. A big smile crept onto her face as she watched; her heart aching so much with adoration as she watched him get lost to the music; watched as he interacted with the fans through his signature hand movements and fruitiness with iii on stage. She loved it all and knew if she were to die right now she'd die with a blissful smile on her face. The crowd behind her was just as enthralled by him. Jumping up and down, dancing, and swinging around like crazy people behind her as they got lost in the music.

But then Elena felt her body slam forward into the railings in front of her when a fan not paying attention to his surroundings practically decked her in the back with his wild arms making her lurch forward aggressively against the metal. Her arms seared with pain as they jammed against the harsh cold railing causing her to hiss in pain; she would surely bruise come morning. And then just as suddenly a strong arm grabbed her arms and she looked up startled as security was quick to lift her tiny frame over the barrier and away from the danger. She yelped in surprise and clung to the man's shoulders as he carried her away from the railing and to a chair at the side of the stage causing her heart rate to spike when she realized where she was.

"Are you okay? Are you hurt?" the man asked scanning her over as she clutched her arm.

Elena laughed nervously and began nodding. "I am! I just hurt my arm a little bit on the railing there's no need for-" she began to protest feeling so very wrong for being on the other side of the barrier; feeling like a child that isn't supposed to be somewhere but before she could get the sentence out a figure jumped off of the stage as the music began to change into its melodic melodies instead of lyrics. Her gaze lifted up to find one of the guitarists coming her way still holding his instrument to the side of his body as he made his way over.

At first, Elena expected to be yelled at or told she needed to get back to the crowd but instead, her eyes widened when they met the familiar blue of iii's eyes as he came to stand beside her. One large hand rested on her shoulder as he did so.

"Everything okay here?" his voice was a little rough around the edges; probably from screaming out to the crowd to hype them up some more but there was no anger in his voice from what she could tell. She cleared her throat and shook her head a little as she pointed to her ear as if to tell him she couldn't hear him very well; which honestly wasn't a lie, being this close to the stage the music was a lot louder than in the crowd.

The bassist's black mask with the familiar Sleep Token symbol shifted as if he was smiling beneath his mask before he was bending down to speak in her ear; his larger frame tall and imposing seemingly less intimidating this way.

"Are you okay honey?" he asked near her ear allowing her to hear him better.

Elena blushed slightly at the proximity and nodded slightly as she laughed nervously. "I'm okay, it's just a misunderstanding really-" she began but the guard cut her off.

"Another fan behind her was being a little rough and she got injured on the barriers."

iii's eyes softened in concern as he looked her over and Elena quickly waved her hands in front of her. "It's okay really. I'm not bleeding or anything, just gonna bruise. It's not that big of a deal really. I appreciate the concern but I mean it is a concert; something was bound to happen." she tried to protest.

iii was already grabbing at her slender arm and examining the redness of where her skin had been hit against the railings minutes earlier and his head tilted a bit.

"Damn. I'm sorry sweetheart. We want our fans to have fun but not to hurt each other even by accident." he said and Elena shook her head again as she glanced over her shoulder catching Vessel's figure as he walked closer to their side of the stage; his head tilting towards them but because of the mask covering his face and the mic close to his mouth as he sang, she couldn't tell his expression.

She ducked her head; allowing her hair to hide her expression as she felt the embarrassment heat up her face. "It's really not that bad. Nothing that involved me being whisked away. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to distract you from the show. Please, go on and finish! I'll be back out there cheering you guys on." Elena began to stand but a pair of warm hands covered in black pain suddenly gripped her knees and she looked up to find Vessel crouching in front of her.

She sank back into her chair with a start and looked up at him. She couldn't see his eyes through the slits in his mask but the lower half of his face and jaw were exposed. Good god this man was beautiful even without full features being shown; she could tell by the shape of his lips and the half smile on his face - the strong neck and jaw coated in black paint that was starting to wear off from the light sheen of sweat that coated his naked torso.

"Are you hurt, honey?" Vessel's normal speaking voice was just as beautiful as his singing one. Deep and raspy from singing but beautiful causing Elena to feel as if her tongue was made of cotton instead of flesh and muscle as she dumbly nodded to him.

"She was injured by another fan during the show." iii mentioned and Elena shot him a look from the corner of her eye.

"I told you. It's not life-threatening! I'm okay really!" she protested before looking at Vessel and then the nearly empty stage behind him.

"Shit the show! You guys better go before people think something's wrong," she said frantically; her hands raising without though to gentle press at Vessel's shoulders as if to push him back towards it.

"Hey hey, calm down sweetheart." Vessel's hands gripped her wrists and his bright white smile was on display. "Don't worry about that right now. Tell us what's wrong, are you hurt?" he asked.

Elena's gaze dropped to his mouth so that she didn't stare at his naked torso instead and nodded. "I'm fine! Seriously!" she laughed a bit at their persistent concern for a random fan; god she loved them so much but they did have a show to finish and she wouldn't allow some scandal to happen over a few little bruises.

"I'll probably have a bruise but nothing bad. Now go!" she willed herself to gentle shove at Vessel's shoulders again even when all she wanted was to wrap her arms around him and give him a massive hug; she refrained and tempted down the fangirl within her.

"Aw, so sweet aren't yah?" iii cooed playfully causing another hot flash to creep up Elena's neck.

"Seriously?!" the girl covered her face but then there was the gentle caress of lips against her ear as Vessel drew nearer to be heard over the crowd of the fans several feet away.

"I'll tell you what, princess. Stick around after the show and come find one of the security for a personal escort to a VIP. Deal?"

Her eyes widened as she stared over his shoulder at the stage; petrified as much as thrill raced through her. "I-I can't do that. I can't let you guys do that! Come on it's not that bad of an accident. You're overreacting...it's not something you need to worry about let alone give me a personal VIP-" she protested turning her head slightly.

Vessel's grin was on full display now as he cocked his head to meet her gaze behind his mask. He smelled like sweat and body paint but also something that was either some sort of body wash or deodorant; something that was all Vessel.

"We want to take care of our fans, honey. It's partly our fault for the crowd being like this so let's make this right. It's the least we can do." Vessel said and Elena stared up at his masked face as he withdrew.

The red details of his otherwise white mask were beautiful up close and she could tell there was a lot of artistic love put into it. Blinking up at him her lips turned into a frown and they parts as if to decline but the singer only shook his head playfully and placed a finger to his lips.

"I won't go finish this show until you agree. We'd love to get to know you a little better." he offered.

She knew he was bluffing. Why would he just shut down the entire show for her? but wasn't this what she dreamed about since the moment she found his band? She never expected something like this to happen; it was like some kind of dream. Swallowing thickly she finally nodded with a shy smile on her face.

"If I'm not going to be a bother...I don't want to cause trouble for you guys."

Vessel's laugh was adorable as he leaned over and pressed a sweet kiss to her cheek. "You're not a bother at all, honey." he replied pulling away.

"Elena." she corrected on impulse causing both Vessel and iii to tilt their heads at her.

"My name's Elena." she smiled slightly at them.

"Nice to meet you, Elena. We'll see you soon, darling." Vessel grinned at her as he backed up towards the stage again.

"See you soon, angel!" iii winked giving her shoulder a gentle squeeze before he and his friend darted back up the stage to continue the show.

Elena let out a shaky breath; practically reeling from the unexpected interaction. She rose from the chair as if to make her way back to the crowd but she glanced back up the stage only to find Vessel pointing at her as he sang; his head tilting towards her playfully and she could practically hear his voice in her head with his directions without even him speaking them into the mic.

she laughed a bit; the sound lost in the fray of blasting music as she sank back down into the metal chair and crossed one leg over the other as well as her arms over her chest as she stuck her tongue out at him playfully; feeling the familiar heat of a blush on her face as she caught the last second of his pearly smile of approval as he turned back towards the crowd; belting out the lyrics to 'Chokehold' as he did so.

~

A/N: Thank you all for reading this! I hope you enjoyed it! Please let me know if you'd like for me to continue writing for this band. Again, Sleep Token has stolen my heart for a while now and I love them dearly I can't put it into words so I'd be more than happy to write some more if you'd like to read it! <3