#i don't know if i believe in fate but i believe in them

[jeankluv]

I love you, it’s ruining my life - Geto Suguru

Words: 1,5k

Summary: You stood besides Geto for over a decade but despite loving him so much, it was ruining you.

Tags: heavy angst, canon, set during 2017-2018, blood, mentions of death, no happy ending, a bit of Gojo x reader but not romantic, no use of y/n, gn!reader

Notes: a request and a one shot in a single day, yep 🤭

Jujutsu Kaisen materialist

When he decided to leave, you left with him.

More than 10 years had passed since then, you were no longer kids, you had changed. Even though there were mornings where you looked in the mirror and still saw the 17 year old student you once were. But when you looked at him, there was nothing left of that 17 year old boy.

You still loved him and you would probably always, but that love was consuming you.

But that day, you didn't see the 17 year old girl, what you saw in the mirror was a tired young woman, with a dull face and dark circles under her eyes. You felt like all your color was completely gone.

Existing your room, you walked through the hallway until you spot Suguru’s silhouette, I was talking to Miguel, apparently there was a course that Suguru was interested in obtaining. Passing by, you walked and saw a couple of people waiting for Suguru to serve them. Your heart was squeezed when you thought about the fate they would have.

You had accompanied Suguru for all these years, but you had never been able to agree with his ideas and until that day they continued to make you nauseous.

You sighed and went outside, where you sat on one of the benches there. In the distance you could see Tokyo and the memories of when you were a teenager began to come to you. Would you be there if you had realized earlier how Suguru was? If you had tried harder? If I had supported him more? Everything was what ifs... That they would never be, you answered and you could only imagine what could have been.

“You are here.” A deep voice, spoke behind your back. “Geto is looking for you.”

You stood up and nodded slowly. Walking towards where Suguru was, you felt your heart flutter nervously. You opened the door and found him sitting on his “throne”. When you entered you could see traces of blood on the floor. You turned your head, feeling the vomit rise in your throat.

"I'm sorry." Suguru murmured from his seat. “I thought it would take you longer so you wouldn't see the blood of that dirty monkey, but you came.”

“Suguru…” You tremble. “Don't you think that's enough…?”

"What do you mean?" He rose from his throne.

“What I mean…” Your heart fluttered. “Let's go Suguru, let's go away.” You approached him. “You, the girls and me. Far from everything…”

Suguru's gaze was cold. “Do you hear yourself?” He smiled zinicly. “Do you want to run away? After all these years? Of my progress? Don’t be foolish.”

“Suguru… please…” Your eyes stung.

Suguru snorted and moved away from your touch and it was then, seeing his back, that the boy who once swore he would love you forever, died long ago.

“I know you loved me.” You looked down. “But you don’t love me anymore.” Those words were heavy on you, it felt like stones being thrown at yourself.

“That’s what you think?” Suguru asked

“I don’t think that, it’s what it is, Suguru.” You held back your tears, not wanting to cry in front of him. “The only times we are intimate it’s when you want to have sex, the rest of the time… I don’t even see you because you are to focus on killing people.”

“Monkeys, those are not people, they are monkeys.” You shook your head trying to ignore his words. “Don’t tell me you don’t agree with what we are doing.” He approached you and you took a step back.

“I don’t think I ever did Suguru.”

“Then why? Why did you follow me?” His tone was clear, he was angry.

“Because I love you!” You raised your voice. “I love you Suguru, I always did. And you needed me back then… you needed someone and I… I couldn’t leave you.”

“So you never truly believed in what I was doing…”

“That’s what matters to you?” You raised your gaze facing him. “If I agree with what you are doing?”

“Yes!” He was the one to shut this time. “You were the… the only one who stayed and I thought it was because you agreed but it was because you loved me.” A hoarse laugh came from his throat. “You thought that if you came with me and with that love of yours I was going to change?”

He looked at you and you said nothing, because yes, your foolish self really thought it was going to be able to change him, to make him go back and try to find a solution to what he did. But you were a fool and even 10 years later you were still a fool, because deep down you were still hoping you could make him understand.

“I won’t change, I will never change, I will kill all those monkeys and create a world where only sorcerers exist.” He sat down. “If you want to leave, I won’t stop you.”

The first tear rolled down your cheek. “I love you Suguru.” You said. “But it’s ruining my life.”

Suguru stayed silent, not saying a word, not saying anything. This wasn’t the guy you fell in love with, years ago, that boy wouldn’t stare at you and do nothing.

You stepped away and turned around to leave the room. Before exiting the room, you look at him one last time.

“I love you Suguru, I will always love you.” You whipped the tears away and left the room.

After that last look, the days passed and turned into weeks and the weeks turned into months. Suguru never looked for you, you were alone. You couldn't go back to where you were once happy because that would doom you and you couldn't go back to the person you loved because she was long dead.

You looked up and saw the snow falling. The new year had begun with snow. You hugged your body and walked through the new streets of the small town you had moved to. There you could simply be you and help those like you who could see curses and didn't understand it.

“The ground is slippery over there.” A voice spoke behind you.

You stopped dead when you heard it, how many years had it been since you had heard that voice? You didn't even know it anymore.

You carefully turned to confirm that the owner of that voice was the one who was once your best friend. And indeed, a few meters away from you was Gojo Satoru. Taller than the last time he saw it that October afternoon. Unlike that time, his eyes were completely covered by a white blindfold.

“Satoru…” You murmured.

“You lost weight.” He simply said.

Ignoring his words, you went straight to the point. “Are you here to execute me?” You asked him, trying to pretend that your voice was shaky.

Satoru shook his head. “Why would I?” Before you could answer he continued. “There is no execution order for you, so there is no reason for me to execute you.”

“What?” You said stunned. "How is that possible? I spent years with him, they should…”

“You were never considered a threat like him and I asked them not to include you on the list of cursed sorcerers.”

You pursed your lips and nodded. "Thanks, I guess." You hugged yourself tighter, to stop yourself from shaking. “What are you doing here then Satoru?”

"He is dead."

Your breath caught and your heart skipped a couple of beats before it began to break. Suguru was dead… Suguru… You stifled a cry, not wanting to cry in front of Satoru.

“I’m sorry…” Satoru whispered.

“Why are you sorry for?” Your voice coming out like a whisper from your throat.

“It was me…”

And then a cold breeze hit your face.

You shook your head and looked up at the sky trying to stop the crying. “It’s what you had to do…” You heard Satoru's footsteps approaching you. “Did he say something before he died?”

“He gave me this.” Satoru took your hand and placed an object on it. “He told me he was sorry and that I love you until the last moment.” You carefully opened your hand, finding a ring.

You clenched your fist to your chest and began to sob. You felt Satoru's warm body wrap around you and try to calm those sobs that didn't stop coming out of you. After a few minutes, you managed to calm down and separated from Satoru.

“Thank you…” You said.

Satoru handed you a folded piece of paper. “My number and Shoko's are written down. Call us when you need it or if... if you want to come back there again. Yaga won’t care and if the old guys say something, I’ll take care of it.”

You looked at the paper and then at Satoru. “I'll keep that in mind Satoru… thank you.”

“Take care.” He said and turned around to walk off.

You saw his silhouette get into a car and then disappear. Opening your hand again, you looked at the ring again.

“I love you Suguru.” You murmured kissing the ring and letting once again your tears flow.

[storges-orange-tree]

Some thoughts on the fox.

CONTENT WARNING: Sexual abuse, sexual harrasment themes mentioned below.

Please tell me if i need to add more warning tags.

So, about the hands reaching for him in the trailer...

This is just word vomit atp, since i havent finished my second playthrough and I haven't read much on him in the fandom/official studio posts yet.

But I think we are clear that autonomy is important to this guy.

He makes a point to hide his collar.

His only love interest is someone who's dedicated to giving others a choice (more on that later)

He hates people who enslave others(the Senobium maybe even Leander, if the fox's words are to be believed)

He doesn't like being called a dog

Which makes his abilities interesting.

He hunts by charming people, that much is clear.

He is vulgar at best, constantly trying to seduce and most people fall for it... even when he doesn't want them to. coughleandercough

Even without his deadly talents, he would still be coveted for his beauty. And I doubt people would have listened to him anyway if he refused them.

I wonder if he was betrayed by someone he trusted. By a human he trusted? Wasn't he hinted to be a deity once? If so, there must have been some people he liked. Even if he didn't trust easily.

Kuras states that the senobium was overrun with people who sought power and pleasure They don't seem to care about the fate or agreement of others, let alone a monster on their leash.

With that, the hands in the trailer seem more sinister. He smiles (bc he won't do them the pleasure of displaying fear AND because free meal) but idk if it's the sort if attention he craves.

The people who would want to hurt him that way dig their own graves really, but his ability is not fool proof.

If you recognize how stinky he is he has no effect on you.

Or he lets MC (&Mhin?) bc they didn't express attraction towards him. Maybe he seeks to punish humans who lust for him. He is strong enough after all, if he wanted, he would have easily subdued the player. Or maybe it's needed for him to feed.

Or maybe your soul tastes better when you are sad AND horny. Who knows.

As for Ais, I think his being different is really beacuse he values the autonomy of others. Not that it makes him benevolent, just that he is the least likely to force you into something. Either by manipulating you or forcing you. If you make a choice in good conscience then he just 🤷‍♂️👍

And for somebody like the fox who had their autonomy denied at every turn, such honesty and consideration was probably disarming.

Again,those are just jumbled thoughts.

[glorismorningstar]

PARENTING

Pairing: Vox x fem!angel!reader

Summary: Now that little Pixel is born, you and Vox raise her thanks to a deal with Heaven and lots of chaos.

A/N: this is part two of PREGNANT, thank you sm for the request anon! Idk if it's the same one that asked for the first part but if it is I hope you like it <3

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁. ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁.

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁. ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁.

VOX tends to get home late, so you usually spend the day with Pixel until he comes back

At the end of his work day, he greets his daughter like she's the most precious thing in the world

Because she is

And because she came out of the second most precious thing in the world

You see him with Pixel in his lap, her little screen staring at his bigger one and babbling something unintelligible

It almost makes you cry tears of joy

Vox normally struggles to be soft around others

Well, not exactly struggles as chooses not to, because he has a reputation to maintain

But when it comes to his family he'll do anything and everything to protect them

You notice that he seems much more himself around you and Pixel

Not that you're complaining, of course

You love this vulnerable side of him more than the eccentric, manipulative businessman he purports to be

Although if you mention it to him, he'd likely deny it

Still hellbent on keeping you away from Valentino

As a friend he's great, sure, but his filthy habits near his newborn daughter and the mother of the aforementioned daughter do not sit right with him

You're wary of keeping Velvette on babysitting duty, although Vox convinces you to try it once

Not the worst babysitting shift in the history of the world, which surprised you greatly

After you gave birth, Vox moved you and Pixel to another house to separate his family from his work life

He deems it to be safer

And he would be completely correct

That's why when Alastor returns, he flips out

He's afraid of losing you and his little Pixie to that smiling freak

And if he loses everything he's worked for, how will he support his family?

Honestly, you have no qualms about his borderline homoerotic obsession with Alastor

Of all the flaws he has, that might not be number one

And he could do much worse, in your opinion

As long as he doesn't act on it, you're completely fine with it

It's true that you're an angel and he's a demon, a seraphim and an overlord no less

It makes you wonder why Sera would agree to let you keep the child and spend your maternity leave wherever you wish

Pixel is technically a hellborn, but she's the child of a blessed and a damned soul

You don't know how that would work

When she comes of age, she'll have her court case to decide her fate, since as a newborn child she's still of indeterminate morality

As hard as it would be, Vox would want her to live a blessed life

Therefore he lets you raise her to be a good person

You teach the little girl kindness, empathy, generosity and care

The sight is bittersweet for Vox

On the one hand, he's proud of seeing his own blood be a better person than he is

On the other hand, he'd miss Pixie being home at the end of every day and clinging to his leg like a vice

"My sweet girl. Thank God you're just a baby. Dad doesn't want to give you away, but he knows it's the right choice."

You hear him talk to her like that one night, and tears spill from your eyes as you overhear the conversation

It breaks your heart to see him suffer like this

To give up his own child in this way, you know full well that you wouldn't be able to if the roles were reversed

"Da-da..."

You freeze in place when a little babbling voice reaches your ears, while Vox grins so hard and his eyes glisten with tears for a brief moment

"That's right, sweetie... dad's here. Dad's here."

You sniffle softly and walk over to sit beside him, resting your head on his shoulder and stroking the top of Pixie's screen

"I can't believe it. Time flew by so fast."

"I know... suddenly I'm seeing her go off to school."

You giggle at that, kissing Vox on the cheek and running your thumb over the edge of his screen with a little sniffle

"Are you sure you're okay with me taking her to Heaven?"

Vox sighs, expression dropping from the joy of the moment as he pauses to word his reply properly

"Yeah. It's not easy, but it's what she deserves. It's the life I want her to have."

You wrap your arms around his neck when he says so, affectionately caressing the back of his screen

"I'm really sorry. I know I'd be flipping out if I were in your place."

"Oh, believe me, I am. I'm just doing a stunningly good job at covering it up."

You chuckle softly, nuzzling your nose on his screen

He laughs along with you and plants a sweet kiss on your lips, then holds both you and Pixie close to his chest

Soon Pixel grows into a pre-teen

She has already sprouted her wings and goes to school

Vox suggests that you let her go on her own, as she can fly and he has cameras everywhere

And he'd definitely maul to death anyone who tries to mess with his daughter

But you're still extremely on edge, insisting that even if he could know when she's in danger, there's no way either of you would get there in time to save her

So you drop her off and pick her up by flight every day

She doesn't like it very much, but somehow understands it's for her own good

It isn't until she's 14 that she finds out about the Radio Demon

She first overhears it while passing by Valentino's tower when she drops by the Headquarters one day and decides to ask Vox about it

"Dad?"

"Yes, dear?"

"Who's Alastor?"

Vox is visibly aggravated

Electricity zaps across his antennae and racks his entire body as he struggles not to dig his clawed fingers in the table

"Ha, ha... where did you learn that name, Pixie?"

Pixel worries for his reaction, flinching back as she stutters out a soft, "I- I- I-"

"Lady Archangel Pixel of Pride and Kindness, tell me who told you about that freak right now!"

"I- I heard Uncle Val saying that name, and- and that he hears he's back...!"

Vox is seconds away from electrocuting the entire Pentagram

So today he's going to deal with explaining to his teenage daughter about some psychopath he used to know and is learning that he's back from his child

"Oh, no, because God forbid Valentino shut his mouth for once in his fucking life!"

He slams his fist on the table and buries his screen in his hands, resting his elbows on the table and attempting to take a few deep breaths

"Dad...?"

He looks up and sees his daughter's big eyes staring at him with concern

He must have scared her with his outburst

Vox frowns and gathers her in his arms, sighing as he plants a kiss on the top of her screen

"I'm sorry, Pixie, I'm sorry. Alastor used to be my partner."

Pixel looks to the side and back at him, blinking multiple times

This conversation just took quite the turn

"I'll probably regret this, but... partner as in...?"

"Business partner! Jesus Christ, Pixel!"

The young girl sighs in relief

Honestly, he couldn't blame her for jumping to that conclusion

Vox tells her about his partnership with Alastor, everything about what he's really like and what he could do to hurt them now

He knows she's mature enough to understand

"What I want you to do now is call your mother and ask her to come pick you up. Now."

"But-"

"Now, Pixel."

Pixel hesitates, eyes flickering around with worry as she finally stared up at Vox

"Do you trust me?"

"...yes. Yes, I trust you."

"Then do as I say. Please."

She can tell something's off, her father has never acted this way before

The girl throws her arms around him, burying her face in his chest

Vox wipes the tears from her eyes and gives her a reassuring smile, holding her screen in his hands

"I love you, okay?"

"I love you, too, dad..."

He presses another kiss to her forehead and squeezes her tight

He's so terrified of letting her go, but he knows that he has to, for her own good

"Go over to aunt Velvette's and ask her to call your mother. Tell her to meet me here as soon as she can and we'll come get you."

Pixel is extremely apprehensive, but obliges either way

As she trots off to Velvette's tower, Vox gets footage of the Hazbin Hotel from Valentino

Meanwhile, you receive Velvette's call and fly over to the Headquarters as fast as possible

Vox clings to you and squeezes you tight, cupping your cheeks in his hands and looking into your eyes

"Ask for an advance on the court date."

You swear you feel your soul leave your body when he says those words

You've been dreading this for so many years

"Vox, this- this can't be the only solution."

"She's in limbo, Y/N, and right now the good in her has the edge. Request sanctuary and ask Sera to move the date. Please."

With a heavy heart, you agree

He's right, if Alastor really is back, you need to get Pixel to safety

You hug Vox close, tucking your face in the crook of his neck and letting out a sob

You don't know if you're going to see him ever again, and that terrifies both of you to your very cores

"Don't cry, my love, don't cry."

"I love you, Vox."

"I know. I love you, too."

You share a last passionate kiss before departing, tears brimming both yours and his eyes as Velvette accompanies Pixel to say her goodbyes

Vox's farewell to his child is heartbreaking

He reassures her that he loves her and it's for her own good, even if he knows that deep down she'd never forgive him

You give Vox a last kiss before opening the portal to Heaven, letting the dimensions swallow up both of you, never to see Hell for years on end

[sinner-sunflower]

P.2 HH Lucifer-centric AU 14/?

STORY 1, PART 1, PART 2, PART 3, PART 4, PART 5, PART 6, PART 7, PART 8, PART 9, PART 10, PART 11, PART 12, PART 13

You guys ever read They Both Die at the End cos this is looking a lot like that the more we go on.

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Lucifer had begun to tell them of his trip to Heaven, from what had prompted Michael to almost destroy Hell with his holy weapon to the brewing civil war.

They listened intently to every word he said, not once interrupting him again until they got the full story.

And that's what he gave them.

Well... almost all of it.

He left out the part where the Fates had prophesied his imminent death in the war. Revealing that particular information would raise more questions that Lucifer wouldn't be able to answer.

Charlie: I still don't understand. Why would they involve you, Dad? If Heaven goes to war, how does that affect us?

Satan: Despite what most might think, Heaven and Hell are not two separate entities. After the creation of humanity, it's impossible for one to exist without the other.

Lucifer: He's right. Back then, before... everything. Hell hadn't been made yet because, while yes there was darkness, there were no lower beings to corrupt. Thus no use for a pit to contain them. But then Adam and Lilith happened. Then Eve...

Mammon: So what? We're screwed?

He shook his head.

Lucifer: No. Just me.

Satan: Huh? What do you mean, just you?

Shit. What is with his mouth today?

Lucifer: ..... Michael told me that he took a look at the Fates and saw me among those on the battlefield.

Beelzebub: Excuse me?!

Satan: What the hell??

Leviathan: So it will happen down here? Because there is no way we are letting you go back up there for anything.

Belphegor: Were you also planning on keeping that to yourself? Really, Lucifer?!

Asmodeus: I don't like this.

Charlie: The Fates?

He understood their reactions; after all, this was too big of a revelation to keep quiet for this long about.

Alastor had been awfully quiet beside him, but he can't dwell on that right now nor will he call out the look of disdain the guy is giving Levi.

'Do those two know each other?'

In the end, he chose to ignore Belphegor's accusation (is it really an accusation if it's true?) in favor of answering his daughter.

Lucifer: The threads of life. Pre-written destinies of every being in existence. It might be placed in Heaven, but no one, not even Father, can change what has already been woven.

Charlie: And Archangel Michael saw yours? How?

Lucifer: I-You'll have to ask him that. I fell before the duty of guarding the Fates was passed onto me. I have limited understanding as it is.

He's digging his own grave but it's not a total lie.

Charlie: And do you trust him?

Her question throws him in a loop. Because what?

Lucifer: What?

Charlie: I can tell you have resentment for him. Do you not trust his word? Is that why you were not in a hurry to tell any of us because you think it's a trap or something?

Lucifer: Regardless of what my feelings towards Michael, I believe his words. He is not one to involve Hell in anything that can be solved within Heaven. And I want to say that I'm sorry for not telling you all the moment I got back. The only thing I can say is that I was tired and with everything that just happened in Sloth, all I wanted was to sleep. I promise that I didn't know any of that stuff you saw would happen.

Charlie: But what was that, dad?

Lucifer: My appearance might not be the only thing the ritual affected.

Lies.

Lucifer: I'm handling it.

Lies.

Lucifer: I swear it's nothing to worry about.

LIES.

He gives her a smile that he hopes is comforting enough but based on her crunched up expression, it must have came off more strained.

Charlie: Dad...

Tense silence fills the room. Lucifer's well aware no one believes him but he knows they won't try to push further. They are well acquainted with his character, after all. Cowardly but stubborn.

Satan: We'll get our forces ready then.

Lucifer: Huh?

Satan: What? Did you think we'll just sit here and let our King fight alone?

Lucifer: Look, no one else needs to be involved. I am-

Satan: -the King of Hell, are you not? And whoever threatens our King is our enemy.

Everyone let out a chorus of agreement. The Sin of Pride crumples the bedsheets in his hold. There's tears threatening to fall from his eyes in his disbelief.

How did he find people who are all so willing to fight for him? He feels a pang of guilt for he knows that regardless of what they do, he will meet his end in that war.

But how could he tell them that? Tell his family, these demons he raised, that he'll be leaving them?

A Marigold being tucked behind his ear made him look at his silent pillar. Alastor grabs a hold of his hand and plants a kiss on top of it in a manner that makes his heart flutter like a lovesick teen.

Alastor: We will do everything in our power to keep you safe, my King.

.

.

Lucifer: I believe you.

He wishes he could stop with the lies.

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Once the battlecries died down in favor of the Sins giving Alastor a weird version of a shovel talk, they hear shouts outside the room.

It kept getting closer and closer until the door bursts open revealing the rest of the hotel residents, all holding some form of weapons on them.

He would've thought they were under attack until Vaggie and Angel toss something, no someone, on the ground.

It was a face Lucifer never thought he'd be able to see again. Because he's dead. He should know because he burned the body in Hellfire himself.

On the floor, beaten and bruised, is a half-goat demon wearing a face of a dead man. It grunts and let's out an awkward laugh as it meets his eyes.

Adam: Haha..... Sup, bro.

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Apologies if that last part is weirdly cut cos I wanted Luci to say that but then I also wanted Adam to appear now.

I'd appreciate any comments or DMs left on your thoughts about everything so far! Reblogs and likes are also much appreciated <3

Have a happy weekend everyone!

[class1akids]

For all the hype hori build arround Sero's "big moment" it ended up being pretty shitty. Also I cant measure how much I HATE that Endeavor is gonna to figth AFO AGAIN as if we havent seen enough of him puching bad guy uuuhggh I hate this chapter

Yeah, in the end Sero's moment was predictable - using Tape at a moment when Deku lost Black Whip. It's a cool concept but Hori just didn't land it very well. With Deku using BW so much and it being so powerful, Sero taping up AFO looks both underwhelming and pretty difficult to believe that it would somehow prevent AFO from doing anything.

As for his "speech" - it's like 80% of the class. If he doesn't develop them, they'll just end up saying something tripe (it feels like Class A vs OFA - which I thought was a cool concept and some of it was genuinely good, but everyone saying something was hamfisted. Or the IronSuit, which didn't need to have a functionality for every single student AM never interacted with).

Also, it feels weird for Sero of all people yelling about the tragedy Shoto experienced. As much as "SeroRoki" is a thing in fanfic, in canon they only had 2-3 interactions, and none of them very deep or digging into Shoto's anger at the Sport Festival (which is a shame).

Iida talking to Shoto worked much better, because of both of their arcs, parallels, foiling and lots of build-up between them.

As for Endeavor - yeah, I'm still trying to process that tbh and trying to decide if it's a good thing or bad thing. In a way, it feels like his "father moment" is once again side-stepped, when Natsuo just tells him to go into the battle because him radiating heat is bad for Rei (even though last we saw them they were all freezing). So Enji doesn't need to make a choice between responding to the back-up call or trying to get Toya to Recovery Girl in time to maybe save his life.

But on the other hand, it's like a punishment too that having prioritized being a hero for so long, now he has to fight without knowing Toya's fate. Natsuo's comment also makes it seem like Endeavor has not many punches left in him, so I hope he won't overshadow the kids.

I do appreciate that his combo with Shoto came only after he apologized and for the moment it is pretty low key.

I don't want to judge too harshly, because I feel like the star arrivals of this last battle will be the LoV, including Toya. With ShiraGiri still being unstable, I can see him doing his own little call for back-up and rounding up all the LoV and I think that could be exactly what tips the balance in favor of Tomura's return. So maybe Endeavor being in the battlefield will still pay off in some way for Shoto and Toya getting their proper conclusions.

[sclfmastery]

Quickfire hot take but, even though I totally grasp each of us having favorite regens of the doctor and the master, both individually and together, as symbols of their ever-evolving positions along their personal and relationship journey.... I will never ever understand fan (or canon...) portrayals that draw such a sharp line of favoritism from the characters themselves.

Missy said "they're all the Doctor to me" when recalling a memory to Clara, and to me that encapsulates the enduring nature of their intense bond. To me that is THE line. Regeneration is a form of death and rebirth, but certain core traits are immutable, particularly to two people who are narrative foils, who have known each other for centuries (or possibly millennia) and keep being thrown together by fate again and again and again.

Bottom line is, every Doctor is the same person, and so is every Master. Acting as though one of them only cares for select versions of the other is just so strange to me. They aren't us. To them, it's just like loving (or hating, or both) someone through the eras of their life. Their same life, broken down into stages od evolution and devolution. It's the same person.

I can point to the exact episode (a lol very polarizing episode in Series 10) where I think this "they're not the same person from face to face" trend got exponentially more pronounced, but anyone who knows me knows what that episode is. I truly believe it's a disservice to every version of every Doctor and Master involved.

And I really don't think that Spydoc, which came soon thereafter, is just the playing-out of the consequences of a MASSIVE miscommunication between soul mates. It IS that, but not JUST. I think all of the writing about Thoschei that followed the exacerbating episode was trying to force this inaccurate distortion, this illusion of separateness, which is part of what made the events in Power of the Doctor so painful to Thoschei fans. The Doctor walked away from the Master (literally and figuratively, ironically inviting his inevitable despair--and her own demise) partly out of understandable hurt and rage and caution, but also out of a cold, repulsed misunderstanding: "Missy was willing to change and you regressed, you're a different person than she was, and you have angered me to the point of indifference; I am able to turn off caring about you because you are unrecognizable from her, the version of you that I could control save."

Maybe Whittaker's response is intended by Chibnall: we're supposed to recognize that she's wrong but HAS to be in order to survive another betrayal by the Master, which is what makes it all so tragic.

But I think fan reception has taken the whole thing ( "each Doctor and each Master is an entirely discrete self-contained being") too far, and it bothers me, so much, I think, because it's a trope that enforces the idea that love is transactional and contingent (in such a way that also perhaps unwittingly targets the socially, culturally, and economically marginalized). If you're the "good, small, manageable version" of yourself, then you're easier to love, and it's worth the investment. Otherwise, "you gambled and you lost," and you deserve to die lying in the filth of your own poor decisions. I get why that's an appealing, vindicting plot device, from the POV of an audience member who has felt hurt or even abused IRL. I understand it, I've BEEN the Doctor many times. It just doesn't sit well with me. Maybe that's just me. I could be at peace with that, as a Whovian :P.

But, in-universe, it's based on a premise that's factually erroneous! Dhawan's Master IS Missy IS Delgado IS Simm IS Jacobi IS Ainley IS Roberts IS Beevers etc etc etc. Just as Whittaker's Doctor is a RESPONSE to Capaldi's, but ALSO still IS Capaldi's. And Tennant's. And Baker's (x2). And Eccleston's. And Gatwa's. And Pertwee's. Etc etc. Dhawan's Master was the Prime Minister of the UK and also made chairs that eat people and also cried remembering the names of people she killed. It's the SAME PERSON.

Lol, not quickfire at all. It's an old bone to pick, I know. I just can't stop finding the whole trope...very itchy.

(ok to reblog...dunno if anyone would, LOL, but feel free to reblog and to comment).

I'm gonna tag some ppl I know I've chatted about this with before to see if there are new insights. And feel completely free to disagree with me on any count. @natalunasans @mostincrediblechange @drummingncise @modernwizard @nickcagestrufflehog @rearranging-deck-chairs @koschei-no-more @likeacharacterinamusical

[ingravinoveritas]

These behind the scenes gifs hit so much differently now that we know about the kiss being filmed three times...

[grinchwrapsupreme]

being super normal about White calling Billy "a dreamer"after the events of Maybe No Go

[blackvahana]

Well! Well. I shut off Oblivion. I went to annoy Lev in the astral. He has a body chilling on my bed reading something or playing with something or. whatever. Anyway. So I start making Poses at him again because something in my goddamn biology needs to fucking do weird ass bird mating dances at him at every given opportunity. My bed is right beside my desk, head of the bed and back of the desk are in a line. Im sitting at my desk physically. I'm like oh. Sudden strong spirit presence beside me! Said hi to Lev guessing he got up to watch over my shoulder because I closed oblivion and he was asking me about it (so he probably came to look) and then was like. Oh that's not you is it. Because. That's where my astral body is.

Yeah no that was me. Because I could turn around and look through planes into my faces.

It's not the first time I've had a strong presence in the astral! I do that every once in a blue moon. I've dropped the temperature and brightness of rooms before, the spirits possessing my body have felt me before in the way I feel them but

I. don't talk about this because I don't agree p shifting is a thing but this is dangerously close to p shifting type beliefs, but in my and my groups experience spirits can actually physically come here. All planes are connected, it's not about a Veil but about a huge magnetic gap between this plane and the others and it's huge polarisation that means you need a fuck tonne of energy to translate yourself into a body on this plane And to get back out of it so it tends it really just be gods coming here and generally as shit like animals so they don't get Spotted. Generally. I don't care if anyone believes me I don't talk about it for others - uh. double meaning there. I'm not talking about it for others now, and usually I never mention it for others' sakes. This is not about others

But I was thinking that. I get thoughts crossing my mind especially lately about "well if I had a fuck tonne of energy, could I be here in two bodies...." in the way of the theory of it. trying to understand more about how this plane works and whatnot. this.

This was the first time. looking at myself through planes. Where I was like. I have two bodies in the same universe. both real. both exist. both are me. This is not some abstract "I exist and then the astral is some foreign place" I was in another body as real as this one on the fucking other side of the veil and I felt myself there. Like I've felt myself in the astral before, but now I'm like. spirits are not vague fucking things. I know they're real i Know the theory but I never let myself KNOW the theory

[phoenixcatch7]

Big spoilers for totk

I am not REMOTELY over zeldas seeming fate. WHAT HOW WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME NINTENDO??? WHERE'S MY MF ONLY ONE BED QPR Nintendo?!!!

ZELDA PLEASE COME HOME I CAN'T REACH YOU WHERE YOU ARE NOW

😭😭😭

[darkdevasofdestruction]

Please, Come Back...

Summary: Kratos witnesses his daughter losing her best friend in battle and he tries his best to comfort her during this tough time in her life.

Disclaimer: This is a Kratos fic with Kat (me) as his daughter, so it’s incredibly self-indulgent. I’m mourning. Details at the end of the fic, if anyone actually reads this. 

“Katrina, be careful!” the once renowned Spartan General roared at his daughter as she lunged with her magically enhanced polearm at the gargantuan monster that just wouldn’t perish already. “I’m fine! Take care of Atreus, he’s the kid!” the red haired girl smirked cockily as she ravaged the monster with the help of her new-found Midgardian friend, Bianca, who was an incredibly intelligent girl, skilled in the healing arts and great with sorcery. She might have appeared the perfect bookworm, with pretty, chestnut hair and the kindest doe smile, whenever she was deeply entrapped by her books, she always grinned like a little girl whenever her friend Katrina mentioned going on an adventure with her, and her eyes would sparkle in excitement at the thought. Her vision wasn’t the best, but the spells didn’t require any of that. “Kat, to the left!” with perfect reflexes, the vixen dodged to the side, using her weapon to cut down one of the appendixes of the monster. Since they got together for every adventure, in the past 9 years, when Atreus was so small that he couldn’t even stand, and was barely able to say ‘mama’ - But Kat and Bianca went out with Kratos or Faye on numerous adventures. “Thanks! -- Duck down! I’ll block it!” in that instant, Kat jumped in front of the girl, impaling the polearm deep into the monster’s arm, and with her magic, she traced it all the way up to its shoulder, making it go berserk. “Perfect, Kat! I’ll go left, you go right - Let’s get this over with - I don’t like this realm.” Bianca chuckled, making her friend grin as she kept jumping backwards, making her laugh at her playfulness. “I’mma surf on my polearm and impale that thing’s head. Keep it busy a bit!” thus, Kat jumped on the handle bar of her weapon and guided it very high up in the air, avoiding the annoying swats of the monster’s tails and arms, and from a great height, plunged down on top of its head, expecting, just like with many other monsters, to get cut in two, from top to bottom. “Oh no.” she muttered to herself, realising the weapon was seemingly powerless against the beings armor. “KAT!” the young sorceress cried out her friend’s name, watching her get thrown to the ground roughly by a growling monster who seemed to laugh at them. “Gah... Stupid thing.” Kat muttered, rolling on the ground from being thrown. “I’ve got it!” in that instant, though, she jumped back to her feet, ignoring the burning ache of her muscles, just like her Spartan father taught her too, and she jumped back in the fight, throwing her weapon at the monster and controlling it, while using her nature magic, veins holding tightly onto the monster, keeping it from moving, only for it to break away from the bindings and throw the Spartan’s daughter to the ground again, the air knocked out of her lungs and ears ringing from the impact of her head colliding with the hard ground, and the distant screaming of her father’s gruff voice, mixed with the pitched ones of both Atreus and Bianca. “I’M FINE~!” she cried out in a light tone, hoping to alleviate their worries, and as soon as she jumped back up on her feet, twirling around to face the monster, her weapon at ready - She heard a small squeak and the sound of flesh being ruptured, followed by a gasp. 

Before her very eyes, the image of her best friend’s torso being cruelly impaled by one of that monster’s appendix, before she was thrown up in the sky and swatted down, breaking the ground where she stood like a rag doll. “BIANCA!” Kat cried out, sliding on her knees and cradling her broken body close to her chest. “Hang in there, babe, it’s okay - I’ve gotchu. I’ve gotchu, don’t worry, I can heal you. I can... I can--” though she kept rambling and using her healing magic on her, it was doing little to no good. “I-It’s okay... Kat. It’s okay. I can... See the light.” she coughed up some blood, smiling pitifully up at her friend. “Thank you... For being my dear friend. For taking me on every adventure with you. You... Really are my friend. Thank you... For everything.” with one last effort, her warm dark eyes like hot chocolate on a snowy winter night, gleaming with falling tears slowly lost all vitality, and the hand that once caressed Kat’s face now fell to the ground, lifelessly. “Bia-... Bianca... Bianca! BIANCA! GET UP! WAKE UP! ... FUCK -- WHAT THE FUCK, GET UP ALREADY! GET UP! I CAN HEAL YOU! FUUUUUCK, BIANCA, GET UP! YOU CAN’T...--- !!! You... You can’t... Leave me... We... We were supposed to... To go travel together... Remember? We were supposed to finish our healing training together... And... I was supposed to show you my homeland in Greece... And... We... We were supposed to travel the world... And have fun... And go on numerous adventures together... And... And... Fall in love... And... Be each other’s Maids of Honour... And...” Kat wept for the first time in years, since she lost her mother to an incurable illness, which had the girl beg her father to get the hell out of that cursed country... But it seemed to her that, no matter what, misfortune followed her everywhere. “Fuck. You’re... You’re... Really gone... Aren’t you...? You... Your heart... It’s not... Moving... You’re not breathing. Fuck.... Not you... Why you... It shouldn’t have been you... Of all people, not you... Damn it... Damn it all... DAMN IT ALL!” she was deaf to every sound around her, be that the taunting of the monster, or her family screaming for her to get up already. It was all silent for her. “You ugly fuck. Who do you think you are, taking my friend away from me...? Huh...? You think you can beat me? Ha. I’d like to see you try.” with a sneer, Kat recalled her weapon and imbuing it with more of her power - A power she only felt now, due to the extreme rage and grief she felt - A power that could rip apart the heavens with ease, and she threw it at the monster, creating a large hole in it’s torso. “I’ll rip you apart. I’ll make you suffer.” with her other hand, she wrapped numerous veins that bound the monster, yet this time, he couldn’t escape. Her power was too much for it too handle. “I hope you feel the pain I’m feeling... Tenfold. No - A thousand times what I’m feeling.” Katrina stepped in front of the monster and reached her hands inside the hole created my her weapon, and with a war cry, she ripped the monster apart, just like her father used to. “HOW DO YOU LIKE BEING DEAD, YOU PIECE OF SHIT?! HAAA?! GO ON, TRY TO HEAL! YOU CAN’T, CAN YOU? YOU WORTHLESS SCUM!” the rage was clouding her mind so, that she kept using her weapon to desecrate the monster’s body further and further, until suddenly, she felt herself being pried apart, a pair of strong arms holding her tightly.

“KATRINA, STOP!” her father tried to calm her down - He knew very well the pain she was going through, but not only was she far more sensitive than he was, but the pain was fresh. “That thing is dead. Stop now, child. There is nothing more you can do.” he tried to reason, but he knew, when she was like this, only holding her until she exhausted herself worked. It was the same when her mother died, and she almost went berserk, destroying the whole city out of anger. He hated seeing her in such a state, reminding him of his own grief, but at the moment, he needed to help her... Somehow. “NO! I WON’T STOP! I HAVE TO KILL THAT THING! LOOK WHAT HE DID TO HER! LOOK WHAT HE DID TO BIANCA! THAT FUCKING MONSTER KILLED HER! HE TOOK HER AWAY FROM ME, DAMN IT! THAT WAS MY FRIEND! MINE! SHE WAS MY SISTER!” she cried out, struggling desperately to whirm her way out of his arms, but he was used to it by now. She couldn’t escape and potentially do something she’d regret. “Kat. She’s gone. And so is that monster. There is nothing more you can do now. She was a human... Even with your powers, you cannot heal a wound once the person is no more. You know that, and so did she.” the more he spoke, his voice soft and gentle as Atreus had never heard his father speak before, the less power Katrina felt to fight. “Kat. Child. Look at me. Hey - Look at me.” as soon as the young one managed to open her eyes and she met her father’s ones - His eyes, that matched hers almost to a perfect shade... She stopped struggling, and her bottom lip, previously bitten to the point of drawing blood, was now quivering helplessly, and a myriad of tears were streaming down her cheeks. “Daddy...?” she sniffed pitifully. Her agony was so raw, that her father’s heart broke. “Daddy... She is... She is...” the man let out a solemn gruff, acknowledging the truth, without actually saying it out loud. “Gone.” she let out that word, breathlessly.  Kratos immediately pulled her to his chest, his chin on top of her head as he held her tightly. He hoped desperately that, after the incident with Lysandra and Calliope, none of his dear ones will have to suffer again... But Kat’s mother died, and in turn, Kat developed something akin to a split personality that resembled his own, back when he was bent on annihilating the Greek Pantheon. After her mother’s death, Kat closed off her heart for everyone, including her own self, and though almost a hundred years passed since that time, he had only seen the girl allow herself to grieve once. If she were a Spartan warrior, she would have been unbeatable, just like him... 

But that was not what he wished his children to become. Unfortunately, his Norse family fared no better, and his third wife died, whilst his young boy blamed him. He tended to agree with his girl when she said that she felt cursed with misfortunate, and though he hated the word ‘fate’, he was skeptical now.

With the girl sobbing rivers in her father’s arms, uncontrollably, Atreus could only stay away - He was always jealous of the older girl for being Kratos’s favourite child... But the more he finds out about her and her pain, the more he forgot about that jealousy. “Let it out, child. It’s alright. Let it all out.” the man encouraged his little girl to accept the emotions she felt and express them as much as she needed. She needed to be allowed to mourn, otherwise, she’d go full self-destruction mode.

“Daddy... Daddy... I want her back... Please... Bring her back... Bring my sister back to me...! I already miss her... I... I want her back, Daddy!” she sounded now just as when she was a little child and she first lost her beloved pet fox... But the more loss she experienced, the worse she regressed in her path of achieving some kind of mental stability, so she wouldn’t snap from the littlest thing. The kind and sweet Bianca was exactly that balance she needed to become just like any regular young girl - Filled with home, dreams, aspirations and adventurous ideas. Hearing her call him ‘Daddy’, something she only did when she was truly hurting, made Kratos only sigh and kiss the top of her head. “Nothing can bring back the dead, child. It is a harsh reality that we must face. Bianca was a good child... It is my deepest regret that I allowed her to perish. I could not save the two of you... Forgive me, Kat. Forgive me.” he muttered in her ear, only for her to ever hear his apologising - Ever, in this world. “Let us bring her back home.” as soon as he felt her nod her head, he helped her get up, only to see her ripping herself away from his arms, slowly stepping towards the dead body of her friend. As she got in front of her, she knelt to the ground and picked her up bridal style. “Yeah... Let’s go home... Sister.” as she turned towards her family, through the curtain of hair covering her face, they could see the tears still streaming down her face, as she walked her friend on her last journey they would ever have together. “Remember this? You used to really like how pretty the light of Alfheim was. And though you thought it dangerous, Vanaheim was so green and had many beautiful plants. And Svartalheim had such pretty scenery and waters... But... In the end... Midgard will always be the best realm... Right, Bianca?” she kept talking to her friend as if she was alive, and Atreus couldn’t help but frown and look helplessly at his father... Who only patted his shoulder and shook his head. There was nothing you could do in such a situation.

When they got back at her home, she sat down with her friend still in her arms, holding her tightly, as her father and brother made a pyre, so they could incinerate her body. Once done, she sat her on it and conjured a lot of flowers to sit all over her. She looked... Peaceful. And happy. “I’m so sorry I let you die... I should have fought harder to protect you... I’m sorry... I hope you will find it in your heart to ever forgive me... I miss you, sister... I need you to smile for me one more time... To laugh... To give me your kind words and wisdom... I want us to dream together again, and go exploring... But... I guess... That will remain for my dreams alone... I... I’m sorry... I failed you.” taking the torch in her trembling hand, she burnt the pyre, just as she had done for her mother. “Please come back... Please...” though she could only watch away as her body was engulfed in flames, and she fell back on the ground, helpless and weeping.

“Hey... Kat? I know it hurts... But it will get better. You have us... And Mimir and Sindri and Brok too. And all our animals! And... Of course... Let’s not forget Tyr. Tyr cares for you dearly, y’know? I’m sure he’s worried for you now. Why don’t we go back to them?” Atreus acted for the first time, putting his arms around his sister and raising her up, guiding her towards the portal door to the dwarves’ home... But she pushed him away, shaking her head and hugging herself. “I... Need to be alone today. I’m sorry. I... I’ll get better. Maybe not today... Or tomorrow... Or the day after... But soon... I will. Until then...” Kat looked up, and felt a small smile appearing on her face, as a soft snowflake fell on her nose. “Let us meet again... Sister.”

------------------

One of my dearest friends, whom I’ve known for almost 9 years, sadly passed away... And I can’t get over the pain, shock and absolute horror.  The whole day, I’ve tried texting and calling her... I tried texting her friends... I was praying that her sister was making the most cruel, bad prank, and a few hours later, my friend would call and laugh at me, saying it was just a joke...

But sadly, it is not.

One of the sweetest and kindest souls I’ve ever met, so smart, so pure, so beautiful... Didn’t drink, didn’t smoke, didn’t do crazy things... Mostly went home to study for her Uni exams, rather than going out for any hangout or party...

She wanted to be a surgeon, y’know. Next year, she would have achieved her goals. After so many years of studying, of hard work, or compromises and sacrifices... After so long... 

And her dreams were taken away from her. How? Though the autopsy will reveal the truth later... She started feeling bad due to a treatment she was given by the doctor... Stopped going to Uni on Thursday... Yesterday night, her sister found her dead, in her apartment... Choked on her own vomit during the night.

Life... Fate... Whatever it is... It’s just a cruel fucking joke. Fuck it.

Her funeral is on Wednesday. I can’t believe I’m supposed to go to the funeral of one of my greatest friends. Though we didn’t speak every day, we didn’t need to... We were just... That. Friends.

I can’t bring her back to life... No matter how much I want that... I really want her back... But the only way I can honour her, and also, selfishly pour my overflowing emotions into something, is to write something and... Be strong and carry on.

I just... Wish... Our last words... Weren’t... Wishing her... Good luck to her exams, damn it...  I just wish I wasn’t powerless... And I could bring her back... Spend more time together... See each other more... And not say... “Maybe next time”.... Because there is no next time... For us.

Please.... Please... Come back, my friend... I miss you so much already....

Nothing that I write will bring her back, nor will my pain subside just from this... But this piece was written while sobbing... It was written with raw emotions alone. So, forgive me if you feel it mediocre at best... 

It’s the only thing I have.

I love you, my Sister, Bianca... You will be forever missed.

[professionalfangirl24601]

I'm not into sports so maybe I'm wrong, but shouldn't the Foxes jersey numbers be a mess? How does it go from 1 to 10 so perfectly (rip Seth)?

I've wondered about this for a long time and still don't know the answer, but that's because I pretend it was fate a coincidence and the proof that the og Foxes were the perfect team.

[ghomsts]

I know destiel fans love joking about the "me and dean share a more profound bond" line because it's funny as hell. But I can't help thinking about the fact that it's soulless Sam he's talking to. So potentially just the left over brain neurons and meatbag body left over from the Sam with his soul present that Cas would most recognize as his dear friend.

[ingravinoveritas]

I know most folks have probably seen this already, but I really need to talk about how insane it is that David mentioned Michael as a possible Doctor on an episode of DW Confidential in 2007.

This was ten years before filming GO season 1, and there was absolutely no reason for David to be saying Michael's name. Julie and Jane did not bring Michael up in any capacity, nor was he specifically relevant to the conversation. Yet of all the names David could have said, out of all the countless UK actors in the business...he said "Michael Sheen."

There is this idea that soulmates are "loud." That it means seeing someone from across a crowded room as music swells dramatically in the background. But soulmates are also quiet. A soulmate can be someone you talk about when no one is listening. Someone you think about and who makes you blush for no real reason at all. Someone who lives in the back of your mind, vibrating at a steady hum that you don't even hear at first.

Until it gets louder.

Until they're suddenly a part of your life in a way you never expected.

Until you can't remember anymore what life was like without them.

From BYT in 2003 to this DW Confidential in 2007 to Good Omens in 2017 on into the present. Call it the invisible red string. Call it Fate. Whatever it is that's between them, I am and will forever be in awe at Michael always being on David's mind (and vice-versa), and how they finally found each other...

[staggeringsmite]

oh shit ehas really is about it being rotten work but not to them huh