#<-(for the fellow sam & cas enjoyers)

[ghomsts]

I know destiel fans love joking about the "me and dean share a more profound bond" line because it's funny as hell. But I can't help thinking about the fact that it's soulless Sam he's talking to. So potentially just the left over brain neurons and meatbag body left over from the Sam with his soul present that Cas would most recognize as his dear friend.

[hawkland]

(Mostly) Destiel Fic Recs #5

This is a LONG recs post because it’s been a while since I did an update and I fell hard into reading one author’s work (DeanRH). In fact I could easily do a rec post just of their fics alone, but for this round I’m just going to pick out a handful of my absolute favorites so far, the ones I’d recommend to start out with, along with more other authors’ works I’ve especially enjoyed lately.

Absolution at the Five-and-Dime by DeanRH (125k)  - this is perhaps THEE DeanRH fic to start with if you want a good, long read with a little bit of everything (Roadtrips! Intriguing casefic! Americana! Tasty Dean/Cas pining! Wing!kink and unique angel lore! Kinky soul fisting and tentacles!) It’s kind of two of parallel stories in one: the first, a flashback to Dean and Sam's first year hunting on their own (as well as trying to avoid hunting, and John in general); the second on how Dean and Cas finally get together during an unusual case and when Dean is able to really let go of his past trauma and accept himself/accept love from Cas. 

What I love about DeanRH’s work is that they write from the unique point of view of a drifter, so they understand living on the road, traveling place to place, and the highs and lows of that life like no others I’ve encountered in SPN before. (The author’s notes are often as much fun to read as the stories themselves). They also write a kickass angel!Cas and never lose sight of his non-human traits and background. Their writing style is unique - almost poetic in nature, and I know some readers have found it difficult to get into. But it works really well for me in their SPN fic...gives it the flavor of oral story telling as might actually happen at a drifter’s camp (with one story written exactly as such). Be warned this particular fic does play up the idea of John Winchester being mentally abusive and Dean having to turn tricks when he was younger in order to support him and Sam, so there is some dark stuff. But as someone who grew up with mentally abusive parent, reading this was extremely cathartic to me and believably written (unlike some stories that go too over the top with abusive John, or just don't understand how that kind of abuse leaves lifetime psychological scars.)

The rest of this round’s recs below the cut.

Carnevale by DeanRH (18k) - Actually the first fic by this author I read, because I just couldn’t resist a story set in my favorite place in the world, Venice, Italy. Castiel is the Angel of Venice, banished there for so long he does not even know or remember the reasons why. But Carnevale season is the one time a year he can let his wings out - figuratively and literally. And during this particular Carnevale season, he meets an intriguing masked young American tourist there with his brother and their one night stand turns into something far more powerful than either expected. This one’s hot, romantic, and achingly sad at the end as it all ties together unexpectedly with canon-verse...though with a hint for the future so it’s definitely not totally sad. I loved how DeanRH clearly understands Venice as a fellow lover of the city, the side of it most tourists never see unless they spend a long time there. This story made me cry just from wanting to be back in Venice again.

Ice cream was sweeter, food more satisfying, everything was an epicurean delight. There was just something magical about Venice, and he had lived here in the city for hundreds of years, so the shine should have worn off by now.

But it didn't, and there was always something more, something wonderful to discover around the next corner. The painted eaves of a church. The beauty of two women dancing with flowers in their teeth across the Piazza San Marco one day, overcome by the sheer joy of just being there. The way the university students still created Venetian masks, like Castiel's extravagant volto mask and Dean's humble servetta muta, with crafts that had been handed down across the generations. The morning silence that lay against the stones.

Hard Landing by DeanRH (26.9k) - A bit similar in theme to Carnevale. A pre-series Dean and Sam are sight-seeing in Spain when an angel, struck by a babel-spell, crash lands right in front of Dean. A strange yet seriously hot encounter with the angel turns into something much more complicated when the brothers return home and realize something more serious is afoot and they are both trapped in the middle of it. This is another story where things are very much not as they seem at first (as fun as that is!) It features master strategist Cas at his best, with a side helping of delightful trickery care of Gabriel and Balthazar as they deal with Lucifer, Michael...and a few others along the way.

The Sacred Band of Thebes by DeanRH (14.5k) - The last DeanRH fic I’m gonna allow myself to include in this round up, because it’s just very soft and sweet and beautiful - for a story about Dean & Cas being magically transported back in time to ancient Sparta! This is another story infused with a great knowledge of place and history, with some wonderfully delightful original characters added in that make it all the more enjoyable to read.

And now on to some other authors, I promise!

IPAMIS OL OLPRIT by emmbrancsxx0 (56k). A really wonderful fic that take a different look at what might have happened with a temporarily resurrected John Winchester during Season 14. Dean & Cas are in an established relationship here, and John here isn’t too happy about it — though mostly because he sees Cas (and Jack) as monsters, the kind of monsters he spent his lifetime hunting. This is a great fic for the emotional complexity of how John, Dean and Cas are all handled. John isn’t a cardboard evil dad, Dean is struggling between his loyalty to his father and to Cas, and Cas is increasingly bitchy/frustrated at Dean still being so desperate for his father’s approval (and all the more complex for not just being a quietly suffering perfect supporting boyfriend.) There’s some great action sequences in this too along with the emotional angst and a delicious dose of hurt!Cas if that’s your thing (as it is for me :D)

Abrenuntio by Neonbat (51k). A very dark but compelling AU take on the/a apocalypse universe. Dean, Sam and John are all alive in this post-angel war-apocalyptic world. They are part of a group of human survivors fighting against the angel army when they manage to capture “Blue” — a particularly feared angel of death. Dean is tasked with bringing Blue in for interrogation and he becomes a prisoner in their camp after John is killed. As mentioned, this is a pretty dark/sad fic (with some rather gruesome torture scenes) but I still found it quite compelling as a look at how things could have gone in some other parallel universe. And somehow the author manages to make the Dean/Cas relationship come together despite them starting out as complete enemies. This is one of those AUs that works for me because the core of the characters really shine through despite the differences in the setting.

if it all fell to pieces tomorrow by spocklee (37k) - a gorgeous post-Empty rescue fic that takes an approach I haven’t really seen explored in detail before (despite being something I’ve actually thought about as something that could’ve happened.) What if Cas has spent so long denying himself happiness, and then trapped in regrets and false-rescue scenarios created by the Empty, that he can’t trust that his rescue is real? And so he runs off to be on his own - literally stealing the Impala because he can’t handle being in Dean’s presence one moment longer - and only slowly comes to terms with the idea that it’s over now and he can be happy with/around his friends and family. This one’s both deliciously angsty and at times funny/sweet, looking at Cas’s relationships not just with Dean but with Sam, Jack, Claire, even Eileen. It does some fun stuff with other returned angels and demons who now find themselves back on Earth (and human), and...I just really enjoyed this one a lot.

Both Saved and Lost by angelfishofthelord (13.7k) Gen Cas character study, absolutely gorgeous and sad and one of those fic I couldn’t stop thinking about the day after reading it. AU where Apocaverse!Cas isn’t immediately killed by our Cas during 13x22 but instead hitches a ride back to the main ‘verse. Dean and Sam want to keep him alive for information on Michael; Cas is torn and trying to figure out just how similar—or different—they really are. Some great angel stuff here (I also highly recommend this author’s Jack & Cas “dadstiel” fics, they’re equally lovely and heartbreaking at the same time.)

flesh of the mighty by Mudprophet (2.7k) - THEE “What exactly did Dean eat in Purgatory, anyway?” fic you’ve probably already heard about. *cough* I’ve been trying to work up the courage to read this one for a while and finally gave in and OH MY CHUCK I’m so glad I did. It’s perversely disturbing and beautiful at the same time, Cas is wonderfully DERANGED and ALIEN in that way that I love it when fics managed to convey just how much angels are NOT human. Do heed the tags.

Full of Grace by ilovehowyouletmefall (11k) - Another one for the weird-as-fuck-angel!Cas lovers’ list. Heaven/canon-compliant fic where Dean knows he should feel happy and at peace but he just...isn’t, even with Cas and all of his friends and family there. He finally goes looking for Cas when he’s been absent for a time and, for the first time, gets to not just see but experience his true form. Another one that hits some kinks I knew I had and others I didn’t...until now. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

don't ask me where i've been by saltwound / @1x06 (8k) - I can never resist a good 09x06 fiction gap fic! What makes this one really stand out is how well it captures Cas’s internal voice - his struggles adapting to human senses, limitations and emotions versus what/how he experienced things as an angel. The longing and feelings between Dean & Cas here are so achingly beautiful and I just wanted to cry when Cas says he misses hearing Dean’s prayers, so Dean, he...oh, I’m not going to spoil it. *happy sigh* Just read it.

this room is wrong by DarkHeartInTheSky (12k) - Sometimes I like torturing myself with some good 15x03 divorce arc angst and this fic hit that button just so. It’s an alternative take on where Cas might have ended up after leaving the bunker and features some great Cas & Sam friendship feels, when Sam sets out to try to bring Cas home. It’s all the stuff you’d wish the writers would’ve let them talk out in canon.

Well that’s more than enough for this round! Go forth, read and give some great writers some kudos & comment love!

[ruinedsam]

So I have been thinking about s6 since I finished my rewatch last night and while my opinion about the season as whole can probably be summarized as enjoyable but flawed with a failed execution of interesting ideas, what I really liked about it was Castiel's storyline. I think s6 actually perfectly set up Cas as villain and I wish they had actually continued with that direction instead of introducing the Leviathans. A problem of spn post s5 is that nothing really measured up to the apocalypse - Eve wasn't threatening at all and the attempt to throw in another apocalypse with the Leviathans failed. Instead of trying to top or level with the apocalypse, they should have gone into a totally different direction - like having a major villain who is the Winchester's friend.

To take a step back to s6, Cas' storyline is a direct parallel to Sam's in season 4. Both were trying to prevent the apocalypse, both worked with a demon, both had good intentions that started to slide into arrogance (Sam thinking Dean's too weak to face Lillith, that it has to be him vs. Cas believing he'll be able to hold all souls from purgatory and should have all this power) and are convinced of their righteousness despite people telling them otherwise. Even the way they ask Dean to trust them mirror each other:

Sam: My whole life, you take the wheel, you call the shots, and I trust you because you are my brother. Now I'm asking you, for once, trust me. (4x21)

Castiel: Dean, I do everything that you ask. I always come when you call, and I am your friend. Still, despite your lack of faith in me, and now your threats, I just saved you, yet again. Has anyone but your closest kin ever done more for you? All I ask is this one thing. [...] Stand behind me, the one time I ask." (6x21)

But there are also major differences between Sam and Cas. For once, while Sam was manipulated by the forces of heaven and hell for his whole life, Cas actions are completely his own, uninfluenced by higher powers, acting purely out of desperation and with faith in his own convictions. Secondly, Cas doesn't have a Dean. He doesn't have anyone. He's all alone with his schemings, no other angel knows what he is doing, which allows him to go darker without anyone there to hold him back.

I believe we can see the effects of these differences in the way Cas is much more rutheless than Sam has ever been. We see from the very beginning of the season that for Cas, as an angel fighting in a civil war, the single human life loses importance and becomes acceptable collateral damage. Sam, meanwhile, was actually trying to save lives by exorcising demons with his mind and only crossed over to sacrificing someone innocent's life when he was at his most desperate. Cas also killed Rachel when she started to question him and Balthazar for betraying him - both of which were fellow soldiers and friends of him.

Having Cas as a villain would allow to really go ahead with the "the road to hell is paved with good intentions" trope, but with somebody who doesn't have anyone to hold him back and is much more powerful. Someone who does actually go dark and can't be saved.

They could have done some really interesting things with Cas as villain and his self-proclamation as new God. Not in a he's going around killing people but more of a he considers Sam and Dean as his pets/he's a misguided god who doesn't understand them kind of way. I would have loved to see Sam and Dean thrust in a new situation and forced to really grapple with what to do.

[5x14]

my ranking of all the seasons of spn + my favorite episode from each season (pt. 2)

7. 9 (favorite episode: 9x06, “heaven can’t wait”)

the order of the next few seasons is also pretty muddy for me, but season nine earns its place slightly lower on my list because of its plot. this season has a lot of potential, especially with regards to human!cas. yet, i think it falls flat. the main fault with the human!cas plot line, imo, lies in the fact the writers made the characters act ooc, especially with dean kicking cas out of the bunker with no explanation. this serves to keep dean and cas apart; tinhatting as to why they did this is a moot point (we know why), but suffice to say it made the season less enjoyable. i do enjoy some of what they did with human!cas, though, and “heaven can’t wait” is an iconic episode. otherwise, the plot in this season was frustrating (the sam and gadreel situation) or forgettable (whatever metatron was doing in this season). season nine also gets points off for having arguably one of the most boring episodes in the entire series, “bloodlines.”  

6. 13 (favorite episode: 13x05, “advanced thanatology”)

i can’t say i remember much about this season other than the one-two punch of “advanced thanatology” and “tombstone.” i talked a bit about “advanced thanatology” in my post about the best use of music in spn, but i think it’s such a poignant study of grief (hence the title) in the way it parallels the mother losing her child with dean in the aftermath of cas’ death. regarding the latter, i think this episode is a really great character study of dean and the way he deals with grief, especially when he kills himself to solve a relatively minor case. further, like i talked about in that post, the scene with “it’s never too late” is one of my favorite scenes in the entire series. after “advanced thanatology,” we do almost a complete one-eighty with “tombstone” (this drastic mood change, of course, is explained by dean with “well, i said i needed a big win. we got cas back. that's a pretty damn big win”). i think “tombstone” is a fun, (mostly) light-hearted episode, much needed after “advanced thanatology.” otherwise, this season has a lot going on (the bad place, apocalypse world, asmodeus, etc.) that was not super memorable for me.   

5. 7 (favorite episode: 7x21, “reading is fundamental”)

season seven gets points off for its profound lack of cas, but it’s placed so high on my list because i really enjoy the plot. it’s the epitome of supernatural taking something that sounds ridiculous (to summarize it, the villain of the season, named dick, controls his fellow leviathans— monsters that were housed in cas when he was god—and utilizes a major restaurant chain to stupefy americans into complacency) and making something great out of it. i love “the born-again identity,” “reading is fundamental,” and “survival of the fittest,” which account for sixty percent of cas’ appearances in this season; though he’s not in many episodes, the ones he is in are all very good. 

4. 14 (favorite episode: 14x10, “nihilism”)

i don’t actually remember the specifics of season fourteen, but i do remember really enjoying it. while most of the plot was forgettable, it had a lot of memorable episodes for me, including “byzantium,” “nihilism,” “ouroboros,” and “peace of mind.” overall, i found it to be more emotionally impactful than most of the other later seasons, especially with dean dealing with michael and his plan with the ma’lak box, jack’s sickness and death, the origin of cas’ deal with the empty, and mary’s death. 

3. 8 (favorite episode: 8x17, “goodbye stranger”)

i love the plot of season eight and i think it’s a key season for understanding cas due to how much of the season is influenced by him (dean and cas get stuck in purgatory → dean gets out but cas stays to punish himself for what he did in season seven → after cas does get out of purgatory, he’s still haunted by how much destruction he caused and is now being controlled by naomi → he ends up working with metatron because he’s under the impression it will right some of the wrongs he’s caused). 

2. 4 (favorite episode: 4x01, “lazarus rising”)

i’ve already made a post about why i think seasons four and five are superior (and a post about why i love “lazarus rising” so much), so i won’t go into much depth here, but i’ll just say i find these two seasons to be the perfect confluence of cinematography and plot.

1. 5 (favorite episode: 5x04, “the end”)

season five has so many iconic episodes, including, but not limited to, FTBYAM, “the end,” “changing channels,”  “my bloody valentine,” “dark side of the moon,” and, of course, “swan song.” i find the plot of the season to be immensely compelling and satisfying, which is what puts it just above season four for me.

[galaxythreads]

Suggestions on how to improve fanfic writing:

I was talking with @angelfishofthelord recently (not that recent, time is a concept that escapes our collective grasp) and I jokingly suggested that I make this post. I am in the middle of an insomnia night, so. Here be us.

Characters use the same nicknames and phrases inside their head as speaking. This doesn’t necessarily mean they’re sharing the humor they’re speaking. I.g.: For SPN, I see a lot of people write Dean as a little careless in his POVs, because that’s just how he portrays himself, but Dean, I think, while having a dark sense of humor, isn’t actually very funny in his head. Same goes for MCU and Tony Stark. Funny characters does not always equal happy head space. :)

Nicknames--this used to bother me to no end, because nicknames were never something in my family, and people shortening down the names felt wrong. But you nickname what you love. If someone has given a nickname (and not in mockery) to a character, chances are, they call them that in their head. Like in MCU Clint calling Natasha "Nat", or SPN Dean and Sam calling Cas "Cas" however, with that said, unless the nickname is self chosen, most people will use their full name when narrating. Castiel, Natasha, etc.

Headcanons! This is going to sound a little backwards, but headcanons have always helped me sort between characters. I know that some fic authors are very against headcanons, but to me, you HAVE to make these characters and their world your own, at least a little. You need to understand how their brain functions, and headcanons are a wonderful, wonderful way to do that. So long as you can conceivably fit them into canon, I think you’re good. One of the ones I have about SPN Cas is that he doesn’t actually give off body heat, so he’s constantly room temperature. It’s a detail for people that’s not Cas’s POV to notice. So getting some headcanons like that will help differentiate between POVs because it’s different things for characters to acknowledge.

Mimic writing that you admire. (And ask yourself WHY you like it) I really, really love the way that TFW/avengers team is portrayed in some stories, in others, I’m like “meh.” Write to please yourself, first and foremost, on how to read these characters thoughts. Those who agree with you will flock to be your audience, and they’re who matter.

Language/word choice is really important for POV change. Again, people talk like how they think.

POV change? Treat the character whose POV it is like they are THE most important person in existence. Their reactions get a front seat. Their five senses are your concern. What they notice about a character may not be true, but it's what they notice. They are human, not omniscient, ergo, they'll get things wrong. Even if the story is written with a completely different character in mind, this character is still the most important. POV's time to think, talk, panic, angst, express, etc. That chapter was about how they felt. That’s why sometimes, even if I really do want them to talk or something, a character might think “please don’t say xyz” because THEY don’t want that, and how I feel as an author isn’t relevant here. Remembering that they’re human, and need time to process/react to things is huge.

Practice, practice, practice. It does get easier with time, and effort. I promise. All of you would laugh at my first few weeks of diving into fandoms. That stuff is garbage.

Conscious stream of thought is generally the best way to engage readers, and the most enjoyable. This is how we immerse ourselves into the story. We become a part of it because we follow their thinking. It is always ideal to start where you are the most comfortable, whether that's 3rd omniscient, 2nd person, etc, but, in my opinion, you don't get that true "click" with the characters until you've conscious stream of thought them.

Research. Lots of research. Don't know how long battieres could last in 2002? Look it up. Don't know how to do stitches? Google it. Try to avoid making things up.

Look guys. Everyone understands that you are most likely NOT a doctor or have any semblance of a medical degree. This is fiction. Research what you can, and move forward carefully or vague it out with the rest. The worst that can happen is someone correcting information you got wrong.

Please, please, please stay within the range of human limitation. (Or whatever creature/being you are writing for) You can't lose more than five pints of blood. You CAN die from pain. Infection spreads quickly. I'm sorry. I just. Have read so many fics from newbie writers who push their characters past extremes that is almost impossible. You want to hurt them that bad, break a bone or something. Just. Please try to be realistic. (Don't misunderstand here, I love me some well-done whump.)

Again with the "you are not a professional thing." Those diagnosed with mental illnesses know that you may not be writing from true experience. This is okay. But please, please do not avoid using any words or phrases common with the illness as you try to "vaguely" write it. The more authentic you are, the less likely you will offend someone. Look. I would be so frustrated if someone tried to write about an ED and just... Avoided words like "starve" "binge" and "hungry" because they didn't want to trigger me. Like. Sweeties, I appreciate the thought, I do, but it's more frustrating that you can't even SAY it than actually putting it into your writing. So. Please just. If you're going to write about a mental illness, do so with the intent to WRITE it, not skirt around the bush.

With that, if you are not diagnosed with the mental illness your writing for (or suspect that you have some form of it) that's okay! Google symptoms to get a basic idea, and search for first hand accounts. People's experience is a lot different than the definition. For example, some of the most hilarious people I know are severally depressed, and Google will just tell you they are sad.

Write write and write. You are building a skill. You have to practice that skill frequently.

Do not be afraid to ask for feedback. Betas are wonderful. Asking for advice is wonderful. Being too shy and afraid of criticism for asking for help is perfectly okay. (Hello fellow traveler)

If your search history doesn't have you being watched by government organizations in the next few months, you aren't researching enough. ;)

Take your time. Quality over quantity. Do NOT conform to the update fairy that demands updates frequently. Look. I love my readers. I do. But you HAVE to take your time to finish things in order for them to be worth reading. If this is six hours or six years, that's that.

Do not give everything away. Stop answering questions. We keep reading because we have unanswered questions. Anticipation = good. Knowing everything at once: bad.

Do not put in funny for the sake of funny.

Insults should be insulting, not make people want to cringe and duck their heads.

Dialog should serve as people communicating... Like actual people.

Siblings (unless otherwise said so by canon) DO NOT address each other as "bro" and "sis"

Not a native English speaker? Cool. Natives would love to help you learn their language. :) English grammar sucks.

Analogies should make sense. They should flow smoothly into the writing. If they pop out, you've lost the attention of your writers.

please, please don't glorify rape, racism, homophobia, mental illness shaming/glorification, abuse, sexism, and other crappy things. Thanks. People came for a story, not to get their souls crushed.

[milfsamwinchester]

okay speaking as a fellow occasional deancas enjoyer... do you have any wincestiel thoughts

YES I HAVE SO MANY !!!!!! here’s my samdeancas tag btw !

ok so i love the idea of throwing canon out the window and having dean pay attention to cas because of sam. like obviously dean’s known cas for over a decade, cas has been a consistent comforting presence, he CARES about him, but he’s never looked at cas as like. relationship material until sam starts getting all soft around cas and he’s like hm. competition for sam’s affections.

but sam reassures dean that dean will always be his #1, and cas reassures dean that he cares about him deeply too, and so dean relaxes and fondly lets sam and cas figure out their relationship from the sidelines.

then he starts inviting himself on sam and cas’ dates bc he’s bored and they kinda ? accidentally start all dating each other? they ease into it and one day dean finds himself reaching out to hold sam’s hand when they’re walking. and after their date sam kisses cas, and then dean leans down to give cas a kiss too, not thinking much of it

dean refuses to label their relationship, frowning and huffing at them whenever they bring it up, but he’s happy to do this w sam n cas for the rest of eternity <3

[angelslettuce]

Yes, this is the only correct answer. I like you ❤️✨

YES HELLO FELLOW BENNY ENJOYER Literally the reason I stopped watching Supernatural was sometime in season 9 cuz I couldn’t get over Show killing off Benny!! Then when I came back last winter to do a grand rewatch and catch up on those last six seasons…man, my overgrown neural pathways lit up like it was 2013 again. They had me going for a bit in season 15 when Cas and Dean were going back to purgatory and Dean is all “I bet Benny is king of this place by now” and Show had already brought back all these other characters on flimsier premises AND had a Benny cameo in one of Sam’s visions of the alt worlds and I was all ‘ARE THEY GONNA BRING BACK MY BOY’ then NOPE some Leviathan was like “nah he’s dead-dead” my hopes CRUSHED like WHY WOULD YOU BUILD ME UP THEN LET ME DOWN LIKE THAT THE CW’S SUPERNATURAL. Anyway despite his literally fatal case of Winchester Derangement Syndrome Benny was a great (and sexy) example of “monstrous” and “human” not being easy tidy categories in-universe and could’ve really changed the trajectory of the show if they’d kept him around. DeanBenny supremacy 😫

[virginbutstillahoe]

supernatural: an essay

hello fellow clowns.

i need to get some things off my chest, so here we are.  read it, don’t read it, it’s up to you buttercup.  love you.

i’ve been watching since i was 11.  since 2009.  this show raised me.

my father was a really bad guy.  i’ve alluded to it a few times on here but, he was a really abusive and horrible man.  so, i leaned on this show.  it taught me, that even with an abusive father and a difficult hand dealt to me, that i could keep fighting and find the family that i could call my own.

it taught me that family didn’t end in blood.  you control your destiny.  love is stronger than your crap life.  don’t give up, baby.

i am angry about the finale.  enraged even.  but i still love this show and the actors and crew members that made it possible.  that will never change.  this show is what pulled me from the ledge more times than i can count.  made me laugh when i thought i never could again.  did more for me than words can describe to be perfectly honest.  

you may say, molly, it’s a stupid show with bad special effects and sometimes bad acting, there’s no way it’s that special to you.  and to you i say, i am so sorry for you that you don’t know what it’s like to love and enjoy something with your whole heart.

----

now, dean winchester is my favorite character of anything ever.  yes, castiel is a CLOSE fucking second, but dean is just god tier for me.  he is so human and so much like me.  he is the main thing that made me realize, hey, it’s okay to take your time in growing and to be damaged.  it’s okay to be flawed.  he is everything castiel said in his final moments and more.  a true lover.  a man who would put his family (blood relatives and non blood relatives) before anyone or anything.  

destiel aside.  it is OUT OF CHARACTER for dean winchester to not immediately ask for jack to bring cas back as soon as he had all of god’s power.  completely.  jesus christ he even asked GOD to bring him back.  

to continue, dean not asking to see cas as soon as he finds out that he’s not in the empty?  you have got to be kidding.  

i am a destiheller.  i won’t even try to lie here, i am.  but seriously, let’s just say for the sake of the argument, that dean isn’t in love with cas.  still, dean winchester would have wanted to see his best friend.  cas died.  dean would have wanted to find him and hug him immediately if he knew he was around.

jesus, didn’t you see him when he found cas in purgatory?

there is literally NO reason that castiel wasn’t present in the finale.  zero.

----

i am okay with dean dying for the ending.  i actually really am.  i liked the idea of dean dying to save two children, and doing what he loved. but immediately after they defeat chuck?  why?  couldn’t he have had a few years of joy?  of freedom?  why, after everything they’ve been through, did they continue to punish this amazing man, who was nothing but heroic and selfless for the world until the end?  i just don’t understand.

----

on a more positive side, my sammy.  he finally got a long and happy life.  albeit without dean but, he still had the chance to enjoy his freedom, and get the apple pie life he always dreamed of.  

and dean, oh my dean.  his ending?  i am angry about how it came about, but a heaven filled with the people he loves?  thank you for that.  thank you for bobby being there to greet him, for being at harvelle’s and kicking back.  thank you.

----

sorry to tell you, but i’m back to anger.  

misha. goddamn. collins. 

this man has done so much good for this show, for its fans, and for honestly the world in general.  he came on as as two second plot episode character that they planned to throw away after they used him to connect a couple dots, and his performance was so incredible, they ended up having to throw all their plans away and readjusting.  

he made this show good again, he gave it some life.  i would watch the show so intensely, hoping to see his face when episodes would air.  just his sheer presence in an episode made it more enjoyable.

how did he do that?

what do they give him for his service?  

- a death with almost no reaction from the other characters on the show

- a two second mention in the finale without any appearance

- his final words on the show being a prank call from fucking lucifer a long time hated character (and actor) on the show

- and the showrunners using his pull with the fans to trick us into watching an ending where he was nowhere in sight.

you might be saying, wait.  what do you mean by that last bullet.  well my little cherry blossom, let me explain.  

the writers and showrunners KNOW that we love misha and castiel.  they know it.  as i mentioned before, it was our love of the two of them that kept him on the show in the first place.  they know that his presence is what kept the show afloat.

so, they decided to use that to their advantage.  they became super mysterious and shifty about his whereabouts during the filming of the finale.  why?  why would they do that unless they were worried that we would lose interest and find somewhere else to be when the finale aired because our favorite part of the show was gone?  

they toyed with us just to ensure that we would maintain the ratings on their last hurrah.  and you know what?  that really feels like an enormous slap to the face.  

because guess what?  i would have fucking watched anyway.  would i have been upset and a little hurt that cas wasn’t in it?  absolutely, for all the reasons i described.  but i wouldn’t have been holding my breath in hopes of seeing him the entire time, and then have my heart ripped out of my chest like that in disappointment.  

i would have been able to appreciate the ending for what it was, and accept it wasn’t going to be exactly what i wanted ahead of time.  i wouldn’t be so angry now.  

and i resent them for making me feel that way.  this show did so much for me and is so much of the reason why i’m still here today, and they ruined it for me.  i am so angry that they took something so precious to me, and crushed it, just to get those extra bucks in from keeping the ratings in a good spot.  fuck you.  

----

during that whole montage of sam growing old and having a family (which i literally honestly loved, alright?) instead of having dean drive the car, which we’ve seen him do 384729387423 times, we could have seen dean reuniting with his mom, with charlie, fuck WITH CAS, and giving jack a nougie.  things that actually made sense, and made the most of the finite time we had left.  

i didn’t even need a love confession.  even just a hug, or an appearance from cas would have been enough for me.  because i know, romantic love or not (even though we all fucking know it’s romantic but since so many homophobic people watch the show we have to keep it dubious ugh), cas would be a part of dean’s heaven because cas is part of dean’s family, which is what gets dean out of bed every morning.  

----

listen, i am happy that the final minutes of the show were just sam and dean, hugging, and loving each other.  after all, that’s what started it all, right?  i’m just saying, they screwed us, the characters, and the legacy of the show for what seems to be no apparent reason.  it was just laziness, homophobia, or something else that doesn’t make any sense to me.  

what was the point of the deancas relationship arc for there to be no resolution?  what was the point of brining eileen into sam’s life for them not to be together?  

i truly, just don’t understand.  i don’t.

they really could have made this something amazing, and jaw dropping, but they chose not to.  and i will never forgive them.

----

all that being said though, thank you supernatural.  thank you for making me who i am today.  thank you for making me laugh, cry, and survive so long.  there are memories, people, and messages that you sent to me that will stay with me forever, and that i will never forget.  

to the actors, i hope you know, that any anger you might see from me, or from most of us (don’t want to speak for everyone), are at the writers, not you.  i see all of your hard work and your devotion.  you are everything that makes this show great.  you are what made this show.  thank you for everything.  

and to jensen specifically, i am truly sorry.  i really thought you were being an ass and that you didn’t like the ending bc of stupid reasons, but it turns out you were right.  i’m sorry they didn’t listen to you, and i’m sorry that i doubted you.  you’ve done nothing but love this character and give it your all, and you and misha really got shot in the foot.

your hard work did not go unnoticed.  

thank you for listening if you did. 

i love you all and it has truly been a pleasure.

i’m gonna tag a few people under the bar in case they’re curious about my thoughts. i might not really talk to a lot of you but i really respect your opinions and like you guys.  so yeah (:

tag list @prayedtoyou @destiel-is-canon-i-guess @starrynightdeancas @green-eyes-and-classic-rock @thetiredstuff

[rebel-in-white]

The Perfect Ending for Dean and Sam? - Supernatural 15x20

As I read reviews about the Supernatural series, nothing disturbs me more than reading things like the title of this essay, “This was the Perfect Ending for Sam and Dean.” It’s disturbing because as fans of this 15-year show, we are accepting mediocrity. Far from being a perfect ending, this was one of the worst television show endings that I have ever seen because the characters weren’t allowed to change and grow. 

When I watched the Supernatural series finale, I was struck by the realization that this could have easily been the finale of season 1. In season 1, we were dealing with Dean’s feelings of being second best, Sam wanting a “normal” life, Dean choosing the dangerous world of hunting, and the value of saving the innocent despite the dangers. In episode 15x20, the episode implies that we are still dealing with the same themes from episode 1, even though SO many events have passed, and Sam and Dean dealt with their own issues in varying ways. Dean’s death during a mundane hunt harks back to season 1’s warnings and omens about the dangerous life of a hunter. Meanwhile in season 15, the Winchesters are fighting God and survived that battle. Sam’s “happy” ending harks back to his desire to be with Jessica and find a happy, “apple pie” (normal) life. Meanwhile in season 15, Sam has lost everything… again. He lost his adopted son, his good friend, his mother for the second time, his surrogate father, his girlfriend (what happened to Eileen?), and his brother. Also, let’s not forget that Adam died and was a Winchester. Season 15 does not agree with, and contradicts, its final episode. 

Everything that has happened after season 1 and right before the series finale doesn’t matter. That is the message the series finale communicated with fans. Some fans might be alright with this message because it’s such a long series, too much has happened, but there are many fans who have avidly watched these characters grow and change. They themselves have grown and changed with these characters! Watching the finale felt like a slap in the face, a surreal dream, because the writers and the show-runner shut the door on any type of meaningful change that has occurred throughout the series. Throughout the years, Sam and Dean were able to create meaningful connections outside of their partnership, noticeably with Jack and Cas. Both were only mentioned. That merits repeating again. Castiel, who had become a fan favorite in the series, only gets a few mentions. Dean, the one with whom he shares a profound bond, shrugs off his death and continues enjoying his pie. Like the last 12 years of developing that friendship, emphasizing their bond, and teasing fans with their deep connection meant nothing. Because ultimately, the show sent a clear message to its viewers: it doesn’t matter what these characters have gone through, it doesn’t matter the people who have come and enriched their lives, but what matters is where they started. The journey, and the accompanying life experiences, don’t matter.

I read a really hurtful review about the series finale that implied that Sam could only be happy on Earth because his brother had died. He was no longer his brother’s keeper, so now he could have everything he wanted- a family and normalcy. That was the Sam of season 1 - before his brother died for him, before he died for his brother, before his demon blood addiction, before he saved the world numerous times, before he adopted a half angel kid into his family, before meeting his Mom again. All of those experiences profoundly change a person. His idea of normal and happiness changed, became vastly different. The show hinted at this when we saw the names carved on the table in episode 15x19. Sam stopped running away from hunting, his duties, struggled with his destiny, and fought for his freedom and seemed content with what he had. The show even implied a budding romance with a fellow hunter, Eileen. Sam from season 1 would have turned away from all this because it interfered with his desire to be normal. However, this was shoved at Sam in the most confusing, contrived, and sickening manner. After Dean dies during the series finale, Sam mopes for a bit, then he goes on a hunt, and reverts back to Sam of season 1 with ease. He gets everything he’d wanted- an unnamed, unseen wife and a child who he names Dean. If Sam from episode 15x19, 15x18, from any episode after season 1, saw this ending for himself, he would have run away screaming. He wouldn’t be able to accept it. Why? Because that’s not what he wanted for himself anymore. He wanted to be with his loved ones, which included Dean plus his extended family. 

If Sam’s ending was problematic, Dean’s is inconceivable. This is a character who has struggled with so many issues and low self-esteem and has gone through so many ups and downs that to see him die, impaled on a nail by clowns, devastated and confused many fans. I actually laughed out loud when he died because it was so ridiculous. It hurt to see a beloved character treated like trash, then proceed to accept his death with arms wide open. Where was Dean’s desire to live? This is the man who survived hell, saved the world several times, sacrificed himself for Sam, and had to fight daily to survive. And I don’t mean in a I’m-a-hunter-and-life-is-dangerous way, but in a real, this-world-is-fucked-up-and-I-can’t-do-it anymore way. 

That was what always attracted me to Dean. His fight to survive in a world that didn’t make sense to him, and his ability to cling to life despite feeling too broken and inadequate. For many of the fans, they resonated with that and admired him for his grit and his humanity. In the series finale, Dean gives up. He accepts death, accepts this strange looking heaven, even though he was weirded out by heaven when he first encountered it. He rides around in his car- alone and waiting for Sam. That’s what Dean boils down to- alone and living for Sam. The show sends a message that Dean doesn’t deserve anything else. Despite everything he’s done throughout the 15 years of this series, Dean can’t escape his destiny to die on a mundane hunt.  The same death that had been foreshadowed in season 1. With only his brother with him to see him go. Dean fought so hard to be free from Chuck’s stories and from his own demons that to see him reduced to drinking beer and riding around in the Impala felt like he’s regressed 15 years. And some fans think he deserved this? What has Dean done to you?

Dean had potential to show growth and to show true change and progress through a possible relationship with Castiel, but the show metaphorically gave its queer fans, their allies, and narrowed minded viewers a big middle finger. Yes, even people who hated the idea of Destiel, you should be angry. Instead of the show stretching your thinking and challenging you to accept something different and progressive, the show decided to pat you on the head and feed you some metaphorical shit. Please don’t eat it. Throughout the show, there had been signs that Dean and Castiel shared a profound bond that extended into a romantic subtext. It started with the angel’s entrance and charisma, and Dean’s acceptance of him into his life (very rare for Dean to form lasting relationships), and it ended with a confirmed love confession. Now, imagine that you’ve been hoping for years that all these hints, looks, and jokes would go somewhere. That maybe someone will validate your views and make you feel like you’ve brought progressive change to television. Well, that’s what it felt like to be a Destiel fan after episode 15x18. Destiel became half canon! Castiel declared his romantic feelings to Dean, which Misha Collins confirmed to be of a homosexual nature, but he knew that he couldn’t have what he wanted. He died to save a shell-shocked Dean Winchester. Not only did the show kill Castiel, but they sent him to hell (granted, he didn’t stay long), and they sent Dean Winchester, the man who stayed “straight,” to heaven. 

This was problematic in many ways. One, the message is homophobic, heinous, but subtle. If you’re gay or queer, you are thrown away, never to be seen again because your feelings will upset the masses. It’s what happened to Castiel, a confirmed queer character. When episode 15x20 finished and Dean hadn’t even mentioned Castiel out of his own freewill, I was upset. Here comes the second problem. This show had used queer-baiting for the past 12 years or so to keep its numbers up and to keep itself on the air. It used queer-baiting to a most hurtful and insidious way to attract viewers to the series finale. Then, they shut it down after teasing something that several, enthusiastic fans had wanted for years. Why open this pandora box if you aren’t going to do anything with it? What is the point? Leading people to create false assumptions, playing with people’s emotions in a negative way, reinforcing negative heteronomative stereotypes- this is what the show has accomplished. This is its legacy.

I wrote this essay to free myself from this show. After this, I am not a Supernatural fan anymore. This show has left a bad taste in my mouth, and I want nothing to do with it or anyone associated with it. I urge you to free yourselves as well and also to not accept this mediocrity that Supernatural gave us. Stop other shows and networks from manipulating and leading on its fans. Stop them from ignoring years of growth in order to feed you the same story and keep you mediocre and small. I know the pandemic of 2020 made things difficult, but that’s no excuse to create the subpar work the Supernatural writers/show-runner/staff did. With just a little bit of creativity and intelligence, they could have produced something great, no matter the obstacles. I used to believe in that.

Supernatural, thank you for the years of enjoyment, but I never want to see you again.

[almaasi]

reaction post typed while watching SPN 14x16 “Don’t Go In The Woods”

oh man as a forest-dwelling human I OBJECT TO SCARY FOREST MONSTERS

but i’m on board for girls flirting with each other

04:04pm

hey guess what!!! i’m really sick

so i’mma maybe mostly watch this, comment if there’s something i HAVE to comment on, but otherwise save it all for the end maybe

no idea what to expect?? i hope cas is in it, at least a bit. or some destiel parallels or something. i like those, they taste good

-

04:07

oh hey the girls got to hold hands in the recap without another scene fading in over their precious 0.5 seconds

-

this recap is jumpin’

-

rip snek

your death was a mistek

-

04:11

DEAR FELLOW HUMANS, IF YOU HEAR A WEIRD NOISE IN THE WOODS AND YOU’RE IN A CAR JUST LEAVE

JUST LEAVE

WHY IS THAT SO HARD FOR STRAIGHT COUPLES WITH BROWN HAIR WHO GO OUT TO MAKE OUT IN CARS IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE TO UNDERSTAND

-

also i was gonna say they were white but the boy and his sheriff dad are clearly native american so that’s cool

they better not die

-

04:16

aaaaaand the girl is dead

/checks who wrote this so i can tell what brand of bullshit is coming next

davy perez

hmmm

unsure what kind of bullshit

seems to be a variable kind

will find out

-

04:18

so i guess dean just calls EVERYONE sunshine now

cas, lucifer, sam

welp

-

04:19

sam: “the internet is more than just naked PEOPLE”

HE SAID PEOPLE

not WOMEN

PEOPLE

dEAN IS BI AND SAM KNOWS and has probably known since at least season 7 let’s be real

also, second time in a few episodes that people was enunciated like that, i notice a trend of pointed gender-neutrality and i think i’m into it

-

sam: “the internet is more than just naked PEOPLE, you do know that right?”

dean: “not my internet”

the porn....... it must be.... a lot........

i find it fascinating that the show is being so obvious that he used to sleep with women/people all the time but now he’s just watching porn, all the freaking time

like he’s not even trying to look for relationships

I WONDER WHY

A CERTAIN ANGEL, PERHAPS

-

04:30

how does dean know cas left early that morning

either cas woke him up to tell him

or he was there (IN THE SAME BED) when cas decided

-

04:34

HE IS SO PURE

and also what the heck was the rest of the list

-

04:35

dean: “got cat-like reflexes”

yes he is a cat, his patronus is a cat

give him cuddles and watch him jump 3 feet in the air because he wasn’t expecting it and he forgot he had a tail

-

04:37

they all seem pretty gay to me and i love them all

and apparently the ghostfacers are still kickin’

-

elliot: “are they fighting GHOSTS?”

jack: “what’s a ghost?”

JACK YOU PRECIOUS DIMINUTIVE EXPLETIVE

-

04:42

jack: “i don’t like to lie. it makes me stomach hurt. like when you have to burp but you can’t burp? yeah.”

I’M SO HAPPY THIS ENTIRE SCENE EXISTS

-

04:43

“but    the   store    is    closed”

jack’s speaking a lil weird

-

04:45

“beer, kleenex and old spice”

yeah pretty much

idk though old spice smells good

BUT THE FACT MAX THINKS THE BUNKER WOULD SMELL OF KLEENEX

WOW

SHE HAS PORN!DEAN DOWN TO A T

-

texan star beer cases in the bg

i haven’t kept up with the beer symbolism but i know it means something

pretty sure it’s the queerest beer

-

04:48

jack: “dean usually picks. i’ve seen lost boys like 36 times”

i haven’t seen “lost boys” but now i gotta

just from the title alone it sounds like a nostalgic coming of age boy’s adventure story with an underlying current of repressed homosexuality

@ me if i’m wrong

edit: @ myself, i googled it and i’m wrong, it’s about 2 brothers hunting vampires........ still sounds gay though

-

04:51

jack: “i’m two.         wwwwwwwwwenty.              two.     i’m twenty-two!”

-

04:45

FUCK THAT SHADOW IN TH WOODS IF FUCKING FUCKIF UFCK

THE THING IN THE WOODS WAS FUCKING SCARIEST EPISODE OF THE X FILES AND WENDIGO WAS THE SCARIEST EPISODE OF SPN I HATE THIS I HATE THIS FUCK

THINGS IN THE WOODS ARE 100% THE WORST MONSTERS I HATE THIS FUCK 

LIKE

OH GOD

-

045:i can’t fucking look i’m 

this if sognna fucking give me nightnamres

-

i can’t even skip because i have to look 

fdg

help

-

05:01

jack: “dean says any music made after 1979 sucks ass”

TELL THAT TO HIS ENJOYMENT OF TAYLOR SWIFT

-

05:07

I’m sensing a parallel to the time lucifer stabbed cas in the back and dean watched

oh no

oh no please fix this jack

ALSO? SHE LOOKS LIKE CAS at least a lil bit

-

05:12

why on earth would you curse someone to always be starving and then be surprised when he eats more people

-

05:16

fuck that shadow is the ijfsjgfjsfjskf

i hate

maybe it’s because i live in a forest with a lot of shadows and i only feel safe because i know none of them are these things and/or people and this makes me doubt that safety

-

05:18

for some reason there’s an ad in my video file

who forgot to take this out

how the hell do you 'muricans watch stuff with ads in the middle, it breaks the immersion completely

-

05:26

OH NO JACK LIED EVEN THOUGH HE HATES LYING AND CAN’T EVEN USE FAKE ID EVEN THOUGH REAL ID WOULD SAY HE WAS TWO AND DEAN AND SAM JUST EQUATED TELLING THE TRUTH TO SHOWING LOVE FOR SOMEONE and he still lied by ommission

-

05:27

i loved the storyline of this, it was great, 10/10

can kind of excuse the dead girl and dead black dude because there was another black dude and multiple girls so ..... cool ???

NATIVE AMERICAN CHARACTERS WITH CHARACTER GROWTH YAY

but man would i love to see lady native people?? i’ve mostly only ever seen men in fiction. the story could’ve worked just as well if the sheriff was the kid’s mother

anyway it was well written regardless and i loved that dean and sam’s story led them back to jack and they told the truth

BUT JACK’S ADVENTURE HURT MY FEELINGS

WAH

:c

-

also

 something i failed to note last time those three kids had an episode. max had blue/pink(/yellow?) bi/pan pride colours behind her in LITERALLY EVERY SHOT I SCREENCAPPED

including on the shot that’s frozen on my video player right now

my favourite part of this episode was the girls flirtingggggg~ and elliot being a kissblock (like sam clearing his throat real loud)

i can’t wait for the episode where they finally kiss and it’s the most destiel parallelly thing ever

[magnificent-winged-beast]

I saw that person being a dick and telling you you’re watching the show wrong because you ship a “nonexistent ship.” As a person who doesn’t ship destiel, that’s just rude and I’d like to apologize on behalf of all of the reasonable nice nonshippers. Like yeah personally I don’t see it as real but it’s just dumb to say you’re wrong if you see it as real. It’s totally about interpretation and there’s no such thing as a right or wrong way to consume fiction. Jeez that person was horrible.

Hi there, very nice to meet yet another amazing human being.

Thank you to show to the world that we fans of a same show that maybe doesn’t enjoy the same aspects or interest specifically, can be civil and keep the enjoyment of what Supernatural means in general. This show has so many and divers interpretation and reason for many people to enjoy and like.

Blessed be the ones who focus on Sam and Dean Winchester that started the journey 13 years ago and keep fighting. And for some of us, are a source of confirmation, that you can come from a broken home but you can keep making your own family as you go.

Blessed be the ones who enjoy the spooky and fantastic adventures of two hunters of ghost and monsters that save the world in a weekly basis.

Blessed be the ones who see Castiel as a very important addition to the Winchester family in general. Who enjoy every one of his scenes, not only for his external gorgeousity, but also because he make us feel, the ones whom identify with his peculiar manners and unique approach to the word of humans, the pleasure to keep being unique and don’t feel the need to change to the regular standard behavior.

Blessed be the Shipers: Destiel, Sastiel, Megstiel, Wincestiel, Sabriel and all the ones I keep on leaning about and I respect and/or filter from my dash if I don´t understand or enjoy as much as Destiel. 

Blessed be the ones who love and miss the characters whom leave the show. The ones we would like could come back, because in their brief time were a great complement/balance in the show as well with Team Free Will.

And blessed be you my dear, who can teach so many of our fellow fandomers of Supernatural, that the premise of the show is the family, and not only the one that nature give us, we became a family as soon as we where touched in the way I described for this peculiar TV Show.

Thank you very much for your message. For my behalf and for the shipers that wonder some times if there could ever be peace and understanding on a group of people that enjoy a show that is about the good actions and sacrifices for a greater good are always rewarded.

My main reward is my Casnatural family, a blessing really, that I would like to tag as with other awesome people that ship Destiel, because this great news need to be share and celebrate.If you are curious, the Rude message what this: You are watching the show wrong

@jemariel @gneisscastiel @starsinursa @silvie111 @bend-me-shape-me @babyinthetrench @bae-in-a-trenchcoat @cas-essence @saawek @naruhearts @amwritingmeta @sactownbrowns3 @moonlightcas @destielette @daughter-of-the-rain-and-snow @deaneatscake @weathergirl83 @helianthus21 @casgirlat221b @shixpe @magicknightriderjellyfish @woahthisguy @margarittet @tinkdw

[netlifxandcastielclosed]

Forrest Green Forrest Blues (ch1)

Excuse me while I cry in the corner of this site because I deleted this original post on accident and I hate myself because I am standing in the doorway waving bye bye to all of those lovely notes and reblogs and kind words. Anyways, I am reposting this and I’ll be relinking everything. 

Pairing: Castiel x Dean (High School AU)

Words: 2160

Warnings: Nothing really in this chapter. Just getting some groundwork done and meeting the characters.

Notes: This series is based on a bunch of Frank Ocean songs. I got major destiel feels after listening to him all week. So here we go, some destiel AU for your enjoyment. Pull out the tissue boxes.

Summary: Castiel Novak, Carver High’s nerd of the century, always sits at the top of the bleachers when he best friend drags him to games.  He could care less about what the score is because his entire focus is on the feeling of the cigarette between his lips. His only pull to the field is when Dean Winchester, the popular quarterback graces the field with his presence. This is their last year before graduation and everything is about to change.

Ch. 2 Ch.3

Senior year for Castiel had begun and the hallway walls were plasters with student painted banners advertising the homecoming football game. The blue-eyed kid couldn’t wait for the year to be over. He wanted to get out of the dreadfully small town he grew up in and move to California where his sister now lived. He knew life had so much more to offer than stingy diners and suburban neighborhoods where everyone knew everyone else’s business. The biggest news to hit the town this month was that Mrs. Mills’ cat was saved from the old oak tree. What a joke.

Castiel walked mindlessly down the south wing with his best friend Charlie while she rambled on about her new classes and how she was planning to hack one of the teacher’s lesson plans.

“It will be the biggest laugh of the year if I get Mr. Singer to show the class that video within the first week,” laughed Charlie. She saw that Castiel was staring off into the distance, not paying attention to a word she just said. “Hello? Earth to Cas… It’d be funny, right?” She waved her hand in front of Cas’ face to bring him back to reality.

“Huh? Oh, yeah… sure, “murmured Cas, as he kept walking and nearly running into a stray garbage can.  

“Thanks for your support, best friend,” Charlie said sarcastically while she punched him in the shoulder.

“Sorry, Charlie. I’m just distracted.” Cas sighed and shrugged.

“No kidding… What’s got your brain all fuzzy?” They both stopped when they reached their neighboring lockers.

“Nothing. I just was thinking about California again.”

“Oh right. Your big plans to leave me high and dry after graduation! How could I forget?” Charlie closed her locker after picking out a few books and then leaned on it, waiting for Cas to gather his supplies. “You just can’t wait to leave us all here in the dust, can you,” moped Charlie.

“It’s not like that… plus you could always come with me if you wanted.” Cas finished up and they started walking to their next class.

“You know I can’t do that, Cas… I’ve got my mom to think about.”

“True. Sorry.” There was a brief moment of awkward silence but the five-minute warning bell cuts it off.

“Don’t worry about me, Cas. I’ll be fine here! I’ve got all these lame-os to keep me entertained.” She gestured to the rushing late students sliding through the halls. “ Tell you what… you can make it up to me by coming to the homecoming game tonight with me. I hacked the cheerleader’s uniform order and now their skirts are two inches shorter than they were supposed to be! It’s going to be glorious!”

“Really? A football game… can’t I just make it up to you by doing your English homework?”

Charlie didn’t answer him back. The screechy voice of their math teacher yelled at them through the door to take their seats. There was no use in arguing with Charlie anyhow; she was annoyingly persuasive without effort.

That night, Castiel sat at the very top of the bleachers while the rest of the school stood, cheered and sang along to their team’s fight song.  Sports were never Castiel’s cup of tea. He’d much rather be at home, reading books and listening to music. But the least he could do was pretend to have a good time. He watched Charlie gush over the cheerleaders and giggle at each of them trying to pull their skirts down further.

Cas was the only one who knew Charlie liked girls. In a small town like theirs, that news wouldn’t go over too well with the community. So he understood why she kept quiet but he felt special having been the only one she trusted enough. Cas hadn’t even fully come to terms with his own ever-changing sexuality. He hadn’t even told Charlie about it yet. But he wasn’t even sure what he could label himself as; he just loved… everyone. Not anyone in this town of course, but just people in general. They were all beautiful to him and he wanted to be able to experience it all without boundaries.

Finally, after what seemed like hours, the song was over and the game began. Castiel paid as much attention as he could to the game before some kids playing tag on the playground nearby distracted him.

“Wow! Did you see that play? There’s no way the other team can catch up now!” Charlie whooped and hollered down to the field as the team ran by and waved to their fellow classmates.

Castiel was just about bored out of his mind when something caught his eye. The quarterback was doing a victory dance surrounded by cheerleaders. He put his hands behind his head, made an arrogant duck face with his lips and swayed his hips from side to side.

“Oh great… here we go again. The beloved Dean Winchester, eating up all the attention being thrown at him. He just loves being a ham, doesn’t he?” Castiel rolled his eyes and pulled out a cigarette and lighter from his back pocket. He lit it and took a long drag.

Charlie wasn’t even paying attention to him anymore. For a nerd, she was surprisingly very into sports and she was wrapped up in yelling at the ref for a bad call. So Castiel sat back and babied his death stick while watching the next play. Without knowing why Cas couldn’t peel his eyes away from Dean. He scoffs at each of his arrogant movements but appreciated the way his body gracefully spun and dodged the opposing team. He couldn’t help but smirk to himself when Dean reached the end zone. Cas didn’t understand why he was taking such an interest in this guy… there wasn’t even anything entirely intriguing about him other than his obvious good looks. Castiel shrugged it off and then extinguished the ending butt of his cigarette onto the bleacher seat.

--

“Okay, class… today we will go through chapters two and three. Then I will assign you project partners for the year and we can get started on our first assignment,” explained Ms. Hanscum.

The instructions generated some bothered grumbles and a few eye rolls. Most of the class wanted to pick their own partners, which the teacher knew would just end up in a mess of distracted teens. So, she chose to randomly assign partners and avoid any of those issues. Ms. Hanscum was Castiel’s favorite teacher. She was funny, smart and accepting. All of which are rare characteristics to find in people of this humdrum town.

“Okay… let’s see… Kevin! You’re with, Lena. Hm… Sam? You’re with… Jo! Now Charlie… who should we pair you with… let’s go with Lisa.” Charlie whooped under her breath, happy she got partnered with the beautiful head cheerleader.

“Sebastian? I’m putting you with Richard. Just don’t take advantage of my kindness on this one, okay? No funny business!” The two trouble making boys gave each other knowing smirks and chuckled to themselves. Ms. Hanscum went through the roster one by one, pairing everyone off. Just when Castiel thought he was forgotten, he heard his name.

“Castiel?”

“Yes, Ms. Hanscum,” Cas looked up from his desk patiently waiting to hear who he’d be stuck with for the new few months.

“I’m pairing you with Dean Winchester.”

The charming green-eyed student looked up and caught eyes with blue ones. They exchanged awkward smiles and waves across the room and then waited for the rest of the class to be paired off. Class ended and the room was nearly clear when Mrs. Hanscum called Castiel to her desk before he left.

“Mr. Novak? Do you have a moment? I need to speak with you about something.”

“Sure, Ms. H,” Cas replied. “I’ll catch you later Charlie. Save me a seat in Bio.” The messy haired kid waved to his friend and then dropped his bag into a seat.

“Okay… so Castiel… I asked you to stay back after class to discuss this year's project partners situation.”

“Okay…”

“You’re probably wondering why I paired you with Dean Winchester.” The kind-hearted teacher sat against her desk, facing her student. “I originally planned on pairing you with Charlie because I know how well you two work together. Then I thought about you and about how incredibly smart you are and how it would go to such a waste if it couldn’t help other people.”

The praise made Castiel blush. Sure, Cas was smart but he also was kind of a rebel. Always making it a point to stick away from the social norm. But he made sure that everything he did, no matter how crazy or fun, it would never compromise his intelligence. Ms. Hanscum was still rambling on about how impressive Cas’ test scores were last year and to Cas it just went in one ear and out the other.

“So back to my original point… Dean Winchester.” She paused for a moment waiting for a response.

“What about him,” Cas asked nonchalantly.

“He’s smart. I know it… but he’s got this bad rap. He is under a tremendous amount of pressure to be perfect. He is the star of the football team and popular… he is under the microscope of this entire school and everyone expects beyond greatness from him. But his grades are slipping; he barely passed my class last year. I think he’s dumbing himself down to look cool. Like some cracked up joke that makes his friends laugh. I’d hate to see him fail over something so immature. So I think it is time for him to surround himself with other types of people.”

“Other people,” Cas asked curiously.

“Yes. People like you. People that aren’t afraid to be themselves or to take risks when they seem scary.”

“Okay,” said Castiel, still confused about her main point. “What exactly do you want me to do about this?”

“So I not only want you to be his project partner this year but I also want you to tutor him… and maybe think about spending time with him outside of school. You know… show him what life can be like beyond this town. There is a whole other world out there and I know you know this... I even hear from Charlie you are thinking of going to college in California.” Ms. Hanscum stood back up and started to organize her desk.

“But Dean doesn’t even know I exist. I don’t even know what I would say to the guy beyond giving him a few book suggestions. We come from two completely different worlds…”

“Exactly,” smiled Donna. “That is what I am hoping for… I know you can do this, Castiel. Just be yourself and everything else will fall into place.” She finished packing up her book bag and started to head out the door. “Thanks again for doing this, Castiel. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Castiel sat for a moment trying to figure out how it was possible to have agreed to this without even saying yes during that entire conversation. He shrugged it off, gathered his things and left the classroom. He was half way down the hall when he saw Lisa leaned on the lockers with Dean pressed against her. Of course, they were making out… typical. Head cheerleader dating the captain of the football team. Their school might as well have been the site for a bad teen RomCom movie. Castiel tried to avert his eyes as much as possible and scurried by them unnoticed. He was suddenly stopped short by a captivating voice. It was deep and smooth like a well-aged whiskey. 

“Hey, Cas! Wait up!”

“Huh? Me? Oh… Hello, Dean.”

“So I guess Ms. H talked to you about tutoring me after school, huh,” Dean commented through his side smile. Castiel noticed his perfect teeth and smooth lips. God, that was annoying.

“Yeah, she mentioned it I guess,” lied Castiel. “You knew about that?”

“Mhm… she asked me if I’d be cool with it yesterday.” Castiel was surprised. He didn’t think Dean even knew who he was, let alone have the guy talk about him with their teacher. He even used the shortened version of his name. “So did you agree? I could really use the help with this class.”

Then Cas realized that Ms. H probably only talked to Dean about the tutoring part of the deal, not so much the being friends part. He figured he’d spare the guy the embarrassment and act as if he knew the same.

“Yes. Of course, I’ll help you,” Cas said sternly but with a small smile.

“Great! That’s awesome… thanks, man.” Dean slapped Cas on the shoulder and he practically fell over from the impact. “This is going to be a great year.”

Castiel would later come to realize this was true. He just didn’t know it yet.

[hawkland]

Destiel fic recs #3 - the (mostly) longfic edition!

It’s been a while since my last rec post - mostly because I’ve been wallowing in a number of longer fics (50-350k!) so it’s taken me a while to have enough to talk about in one post (and boy do I talk a lot, here!)

With these longer fics, I do sometimes have some caveats with my recs - or at least reasons why they might not appeal to every Dean/Cas reader. But note that if I didn’t overall strongly recommend reading the fic I wouldn’t include it in my recs here at all, so any quibbles I bring up are minor compared to my overall enjoyment of the stories. Just, I don’t want someone to commit to a long read without knowing what they’re getting into and why it might not be their thing.

I’m still not into reading complete setting AUs at this time, but a lot/most of these are canon-divergence AUs, often written/set at the end of a season and giving an alternative take on what happened next. I love those kind of stories, as it’s often so interesting to see how fans thought of what might happen in the next season (especially when it’s better than what we actually got.)

Onto the recs & discussion behind the cut!

The Sinking Ship by UnfortunatelyObsessed (114k). This is a story that ripped my heart to pieces (in a good way!). I stayed up all night to finish reading because I simply couldn’t stop once I started on it and it gave me a massive fic hanger from all my emotions. Season 14 divergence, imagine if Dean did go into the Ma’lak box to trap Michael under the ocean with him forever...and once there, he discovers that Cas has stowed away with him. Because of course Cas would never leave Dean to such a fate on his own.

I loved literally. Every. Damn. Thing. About this fic. Cas telling Dean stories to pass the (endless) time. Their small intimate moments while realizing they can never consummate physically while trapped in the box but finding every other way to express their love. The absolute heartbreak that had me SOBBING when Michael fights for control of Dean and destroys everything they’ve built together and Cas thinks he’s lost Dean forever. Sam & Gabriel & Rowena & Claire & Jack doing everything they can to devise a plan back home to try to save them both while keeping Michael trapped. Also even just the wonderfully sensitive portrayal of aroace Jack still closely bonded with Claire and Maggie and just. And just. This is a story I’ve already re-read just to savor how much I loved it and its portrayal of everyone in TFW 2.0 and their extended family, it just hit my id in all the most incredible ways and I have nothing but absolute love for this one.

Beautiful Chaos by anyrei, mugglerock (141k). Season 9 canon-divergence, in which Dean doesn’t simply abandon Cas to fend for himself post 09x03. Instead he sets Cas up in a kind of squatter’s nest in an abandoned building near the bunker so he can keep tabs on him and help him out. 

This fic definitely gets the award for FILTHIEST, HOTTEST, SMUTTIEST Dean/Cas (and Cas/other) I’ve read in, like, ever, for human!Cas turns out to be a rather insatiable sex fiend/cock slut and Dean is too up his own repressed ass to easily give Cas what he wants/needs. It is dark at times, Cas ends up in some very unsavory/non-con situations, and the authors do mention that they tried to hone in on endverse!Cas’s characterization more than what we saw in Season 9...so you might roll with it, you might not. I adored their original character Jerry the tattoo artist in this, and like I said it was seriously hot (if you are good with total bottom!Cas and Cas with others, I know those are not everyone’s cuppa). I did have a few minor issues. For one, the last chapter felt a bit rushed and hand-wavey, but clearly the authors weren’t fond of the canon conflicts of season 9 & 10 (Abbadon, Mark of Cain) and just wanted to be done with them. Can’t say I really blame them. And I did have to laugh a bit at Lebanon, Kansas apparently having such a bustling gay bar/tattoo artist/etc scene being someone from a butt-fuck nowhere American small town myself. But, SPN was never all that realistic in how Lebanon was shown (and yes I’ve spent too much time roaming around it on Google maps), so if you can suspend some disbelief this is an awesome hot/angsty/occasionally heartbreaking read.

These Forsaken Lands by destielpasta (53k). I came upon this story when looking for fics that dealt in some way with the aftermath of Godstiel. This is a wonderfully atmospheric late Season 9 “fill-in” case fic (post Meta-fiction) where Cas ends up in a small town that had been visited by Godstiel...and while initially residents have reaped much good fortune, there has suddenly been a wave of deaths/bad events and he is determined to find out what happened and set things right. He calls upon Dean for help, but Dean is fighting the Mark of Cain and it’s going to take a lot to get past its control and find a way out for both of them. Together they work on repairing an old church while trying to repair each other and their damaged relationship.

I loved this story for how well written it was, really invoking a gothic small-town/Americana atmosphere. The original characters blend in very well with the case-fic at the center of it, and the author deals really well with Cas at a very fragile point when he’s running on borrowed grace and trying to navigate Dean’s MoC-enhanced anger. It’s Dean/Cas but actually much more of a Cas character study, so I highly recommend it to my fellow/compatriot Cas-girls who love a good wallow in his head.

Mixed Emotions by Tierra469 (50k). Canon 12 “parallel” fic that then goes canon-divergent with the season finale. I actually stumbled on this while in the mood to read some Cas/ or & Mary fic after enjoying their interactions in Season 12 (don’t hate me). This is sort of two fics in one. The first half focuses mostly on filling in the gaps with some critical S12 Cas episodes, especially Cas & Mary’s developing friendship (and one night of something more). But of course Cas’s feelings for Dean (and vice-versa) are always there, and when Cas figures out a way to get his powers fully back, the question is if Dean can open himself up to be vulnerable - and express love - the way Cas needs for this to work.

This was an interesting fic in a lot of ways. I loved the author’s take on angels’ connections to their vessels and grace, it was very consistent in a way the show sometimes/often wasn’t. Cas is very Cas in not understanding privacy and personal boundaries (so he does some questionable things, admittedly, which might squick some readers). The smut is fucking HOT - though I will caution at one point it involves Cas temporarily in a younger (NOT underage) female vessel (and the story does point out Dean’s discomfort with this and some of the consent issues involved, I don’t want to spoil too much). I wanted the Mary plot resolved more than it was, but I still recommend this story strongly for the quality of the writing and unique/well-developed take on angel lore and mechanics that was quite different from what I’m used to reading.

We Are Either Here Or Not Here by petramacneary (54k) A post-season 12 fic that goes on a different tangent to how Cas returns, and what happens in the meantime. Particularly, it offers a different take on what apocalypseverse!Cas would be like—as Mary makes her own way back from that world with AU!Cas as her prisoner.

What I loved about this story: first off, BAMF!Mary is awesome here. Dean is so heartbreaking, not quite knowing what the fuck to do with this different Cas who at times is just a painful reminder of who/what Dean’s lost...but then becomes a chance for Dean to say and express some of the things he always was afraid to in the past. And when (real/our) Cas finally returns, there’s some very interesting stuff that happens with both Cas & AU!Cas and Cas & Dean that I don’t want to spoil. (And let’s also just say that when real!Cas and Dean finally get together it’s AMAZINGLY awesome. Like, hot Impala!sex. So is the artwork that goes with this story.)

You Can Keep Holding On by NorthernSparrow (353k) The longest fic I read this time around and probably the one I have the most mixed feelings about, but a while on I do keep thinking about parts of it so I do rec it with some caveats. This is a canon-divergence after the end of Season 11. Dean & Sam find Cas after he’s been blasted out of the bunker...to the bottom of the Grand Canyon. Mary isn’t in this one except for a brief appearance/visit, which Dean thinks is Amara’s gift to him. Life seems good for a while, they’re enjoying dealing with mundane problems for a change, but then Cas seems to be pulling away from the brothers, spending less and less time with them at the bunker, taking a mundane job at another Gas ‘n Sip, and clearly preoccupied by something else. Or is it someone else? Dean is worried yet finally ready to accept that Cas maybe has a girlfriend, or a boyfried, but then it turns out that is not at all what Cas has going on. It’s something far more serious than that.

Honestly I almost stopped reading when the reveal happened - it’s a subject that’s very sensitive to me from personal/family experience and not something I usually like reading in fic (especially if there is a sad ending.) So I admit I jumped ahead to read how it would end first before committing to finishing it. And I am glad I did, because the author handles the subject matter with a realism and obvious knowledge of experience as well, not how I often see it in fanfic. There are a lot of emotional ups and downs but it’s nice seeing Dean in his momma-hen/mode, and Sam is so so good in this one! I think I enjoyed Sam’s characterization here most of all! And the author has a really cool/well developed angel/wing lore that hit my wing-kink pretty hard. I do think it could have all been edited down a bit - I found myself skimming parts, especially in the last third, just to get on with things. But it’s definitely a story you can disappear into for a good long time and I’ve bookmarked the author’s other works to read later, so again, I do rec it even with a few caveats.

A few shorter fics, too, just because I don’t want to forget about them...

Eleven Erogenous Zones of a Fallen Angel by almaasi (15k) Pure gratuitous wing!kink for me :) Cas uses the last of his grace to manifest his wings...but then is stuck with them in his human form and not even able to use them to fly as he used to. This presents a lot of awkward problems to deal with but also the excuse for Dean to help him keep them clean :) I did say wing kink, right? :D :D I loved how Cas seemed confused about the pleasure signals he got from bathing vs. sex vs. grooming and all of that. It’s sweet and hot and has my favorite kind of caretaking Dean in it.

Fossil Tracks by SegaBarrett  (3k). Dean & Sam & Cas and dinosaurs. How can you go wrong with that? One of the SPN stories from the Id Pro Quo collection I really enjoyed reading (and didn’t write myself, lol).

[imaginesfor-thesoul]

title: “Wildflower” (Dean Winchester imagine)

characters: sister/angel x castiel, reader x dean winchester, sam winchester.

word count: 1,291 words

warnings: fluff&stuff, swearing

(a/n): this is 100% inspired by an imagine i recently read, unfortunately i can’t for the life of me remember the title of it, let alone the author. if any of you guys figure it out, could you please let me know? thanks loves xxx

:: :: ::

Her angel brother, Castiel, had been on a “hunt” with Sam and Dean Winchester when he had requested your assistance through “angel radio”. “Castiel, what is wrong?” She had asked upon answering him.

“Hello, (y/n), I seldom ask a favor of you as I know you can be extremely occupied at times, but i’m afraid the Winchester’s and I need your help with this certain healing process. I’d do it myself but it’s a larger job than I am capable.” He asked his sister politely. 

Instantly, she transported to where you figured Castiel and the Winchester’s were. “Oh great, another angel dick. You know, Cas, I’m getting tired of the feathered sons of bitches.” A rough voice speaks as she arrives , him clearly not seeing the angel. 

“I can assure you my mother was not a “bitch” as I am not her son, infact her daughter.” The woman states rather quickly while examining the murder scene in front of her. 

“Castiel, what exactly happened here?” she asks her brother.

The younger Winchester is slightly taken aback by the beautiful girl infant of him while Dean is completely shocked. The two look at each other while the two angels discuss the matter at hand. 

“Hey, uh, Cas? You didn’t tell us that this “fellow angel of yours” was a total babe.” Dean half scolds Castiel, before smiling at (y/n). This causes a hereditary head tilt from both angels. Sam can’t help but laugh at the similarities between the two.

“I don’t understand. I am not an infant.” She tells the now blushing older Winchester. 

“I think he is complimenting your appearance, (y/n), it’s common occurrence with mortals, I believe they call it “flirting”.” Castle helps the confused angel. 

“Oh, well, I find your appearance rather pleasing to the eye also.” She sincerely says with a small smile. This causes the already tinted pink Dean to turn deep crimson.

:: :: :: After the two angels had healed the unfortunate victims of a vampire hunt gone terribly wrong, (y/n) decided to stick around with the Winchester’s and her brother for a little while.

Sitting up front in the Impala, she was stunned by the simple beauties surrounding the moving vehicle. 

She was enjoying herself listening to the three men discuss something along the lines of the next hunt when a plethora of purples and yellows catch her eyes from fields outside.

Completely captivated, the angel transports to the field without a word. 

“Wh-where’did she go?” Dean asks no one in particular. He hadn’t told anyone, but he was taking a liking in (y/n).

“I believe she went to the flower field, she’ll come back soon.” Castiel explains to the stressing man. 

“Flower field? (y/n) likes flowers?” Sam asks.

“Only wildflowers. She has the strangest obsession with them. She finds the unnatural beauty of them poetic in a way that she enjoys time just being around them.” Castiel tells the two men.

:: :: ::

Twenty-two minutes later and only a couple miles away from the Bunker, (y/n) appears again in the front passenger seat. Not a word spoken from her. The startling action almost gave Dean a heart attack.

“She smells like wildflowers.” Dean thinks to himself “God that sounded creepy”.

The four approach the Bunker and walk in before going to the closest couch and sitting down. 

:: :: ::

It was getting late and (y/n) was feeling slightly out of place. Not knowing what to do with herself, she stands in the kitchen and decides to look in the refrigerator for enjoyment. 

Castiel, Sam and Dean were all on the sofa watching some shit TV show, not really interested with the storyline but just passing time with their exhausted states.

Using angel radio, Cas sensed (y/n)’s awkward feelings about their current situation, so he invited her to sit with them.

Walking over to the couch she noticed the only place to sit, really, was in-between her brother and her new found crush, Dean. 

:: :: ::

It’s around midnight and Sam had left to try and catch some sleep. Leaving (y/n), Dean and Castiel. But not for long as Castiel left on a “very important last minute meeting”.

So there they were. A beautiful angel with no social skills and a new crush sitting next to a stunning hunter who is struggling with how to approach the situation with his new crush.

On the tv now is showing an odd soap opera featuring the dramatic love story of two young adults. Currently, the two were engaged a romantic kiss. Dean thought nothing of it but (y/n) was extremely confused by the matter.

“Why are they doing that to each other? Doesn’t it hurt?” She asked him. To this he chuckled.

“Well, no. It’s called kissing. If two people feel a romantic attraction towards each other, this is a way they can express it, I guess” Dean explains to the puzzled angel.

“Do you feel a romantic attraction towards me?” (y/n) asks Dean rather abruptly, causing him to choke on his beer. 

“w-well, I mean uh, y-you know...yes.” Dean fumbles over his words, finally coming to a conclusion. “I feel a very strong romantic attraction to you.”

“and I, you” She responds. “So does that mean we...kiss now?” She asks him.

Dean smiles at her cluelessness and leans in. Both of them feeling a spark, they don’t decide to stop any soon. In all of Dean’s previous experience, he had never had a kiss as magical as this. 

After a few minutes of just the same, the two pause. “You know, you smell like wildflowers.” Dean tells her.

“Thank you.” (y/n) just smiles.

And who says angels could never love?

[theechosas]

APAC Performing Arts Recaps

APAC Choir

APAC Choir at the Bund, courtesy of Activities Council

Singers:

Risa Beddie (12)

Alice Chen (11)

Claire Chen (10)

Jenny Gao (11)

Abby Pan (12)

Jenny Cho (11)

Kaitlyn Chan (11)

Callista Chan (10)

Peter Wu (12)

Ryan Yin (11)

Richmond Brautigan (12)

Nicholas Hwang (11)

Darwin Li (11)

Benno Zhang (11)

Oliver Klajnscek (11)

Pranav Malaviya (10)

Daniel Kwan (9)

This year, APAC Choir was hosted in Shanghai, at SASPX’s very own Preforming Arts Centre. It was a three-day event that started on Thursday, November 16th and ended on Saturday, November 18th. APAC Choir created an opportunity for schools from all across Asia to come together in celebration and appreciation of this fine art, with participants including Brent from Manila, Shanghai American School Pudong and Puxi from Shanghai, Canadian Academy from Kobe, and Internationl School of Beijing and Western Academy of Beijing from Beijing. Throughout the three days, the participants engaged in group rehearsals, auditions and sectionals in preparation of the final APAC Choral Festival,conducted by by Dr. Axel Theimer, on Saturday night. The concert started off with each school preforming two songs of their choice, and then transitioned into a mass choral performance.

SAS Puxi, under the leadership of Mrs. Pek, preformed two songs-"One Day I’ll Fly Away" by Will Jennings and Joe Sample and arranged by Sam Robson, and “Balleilakka” by A.R. Rahman and arranged by Ethan Sperry. The first of the two songs was a beautiful, slow piece that allowed the raw talent of the singers’ voices to shine through. Mrs. Pek commented that the performance was successful and that “Ryan Yin was instrumental in conducting the ‘One Day I’ll Fly Away’.” The second of the two songs was a dynamic Indian song that captured the audience’s attention from the opening note. Contributing to that was the dance that the choir assemble preformed alongside it, which incorporated Indian dance moves and even the lifting of some members as they sang. A particularly unique aspect about this performance was the contribution of Mr. Guillermo Machado, Mrs. Karolina Pek and Mr. Andrew Melton as the back up percussion players.

When the festival ended, Mrs. Pek said that a highlight of the festival was that “Every choir that came to our festival which was conducted by Dr. Axel Theimer was well prepared and as result we had a successful festival.” She also appreciated the “opportunity to have our video live streamed which was wonderful,” which was facilitated by the student club SAS TV. This live streaming made APAC choir more accessible to everyone than it was before, and ensured an increased audience for the concert as people tuned in to watch from their homes. Lastly, she praised the hard work of the Activities Office, stating that “The festival was successful because we had a great team backing us up from the Activities Office (Steve Doleman) , the Theatre Staff (Xiao Ye)  and the Support Staff (Tommy Wang).”

The concert was also a great experience for the students participating, in ways including but not just limited to being able to improve their singing. Singer Ryan Yin stated that “the biggest highlight for me was being able to meet new people who also share a passion for choir. All in all, it was the people who made this experience great.”

Although the APAC Choir festival has since ended, the SAS choir team promises to continue providing beautiful performances in the years to follow. According to Ryan Yin, “The dynamic of our APAC Choir will change as members come and go. Every person brings something unique to Choir and I’m quite excited to see what we can create next year.” In the meantime, we can all eagerly await whatever new performance the APAC choir team has in store for us next.

Evian Chai

APAC Orchestra

APAC Orchestra, courtesy of Activities Council

Musicians:

Nicolette Lee 11

Seoyeon Shin 10

Sue Shin 11

Hannah Zhang 11

Betty Qian 11

Jamie Liu 12

Joey Tan 10

Poem Lin 10

Ejen Liu 10

Chantal Li 10

Zini He 10

Aaron Chen 9

Luke Heald 10

Charlotte Wu 10

Vanessa Li 12

“The sound of the orchestra is one of the most magnificent musical sounds that has ever existed.” SAS Orchestra travelled to CA in Kobe, Japan, on November 16th to partake in the 2017 APAC Orchestra concert. As one of the six school orchestras that performed six pieces in unison – the other schools being WAB, CA, SASPD, ISB, and Brent – SAS Orchestra initially found it difficult to cohere with their counterparts.

“Learning music in one group and then joining another is the adjustment of speeds, dynamics, articulation, and mood,” comments SAS Orchestra’s coach Darrell Townshend. “A new conductor will do things differently, and students need to adjust.”

As noted, this was SAS Orchestra’s first time encountering the official conductor, whose job is to commandeer the whole orchestra and establish the pace of the music. Betty Qian, the orchestra’s first violin, says that she and her fellow musicians had many takeaways from collaborating with the plethora of other schools, despite the initial challenges.

“Most of us didn’t see the foremost difficulties when we combined with other schools as something negative,” says Qian. “Rather, our differences in our interpretation of the music was seen as a learning experience that helped us grow as a musician.”

The final performance, after two days of uniform practice, was held on the eve of November 16th. The conjoined orchestra’s execution can be characterized as nothing short of outstanding. Each string section articulated tones ranging from melodious to raucous, doing so in tandem to stamp a memorable impression on all six pieces that they performed.

“I was very impressed with our SAS Orchestra,” says Townshend. “They diligently learned their materials and collaborated effectively with others.”

There were three musicians from SAS who performed solos: Betty Qian, Chantal Li, and Seoyeon Shin. “Violinist Betty Qian and violist Chantal Li performed substantial solos,” remarks Townshend, “and cellist Seoyeon Shin led one of the cellos section’s most complex work.”

As this year’s APAC Orchestra event wraps up, Townshend commends the SAS Orchestra for their sportsmanship and effort. “All students behaved admirably, represented the school well, and performed with intensity, passion, and exacting care.”

“This year’s event was a huge success,” says Qian, “I can’t wait to do it again next year.”

Leonard Lee

APAC Dance

APAC Dance, courtesy of Activities Council

Dancers:

Joanna Gao 12

Jade Han 12

Chelsea Hong (C) 12

Karen Hsu 12

Yuxi Lee 12

Katie Li 11

Liliane Lin 10

Heather Lu 10

Chuli Roules 12

Michelle Sun (C) 12

This year, the Shanghai American School Puxi dance team travelled to Brent International School of Manila, along with Canadian Academy, International School of Beijing, Western Academy of Beijing, and Shanghai American School Pudong, to take part in the 8th annual APAC Dance Festival. Ms. Slaby, one of the coaches for APAC Dance, explains that APAC Dance is a way for dancers “to work with and learn from students from other schools in the conference.” What happens is that “they create fusion teams made up of a mixture of students from different schools” and “attend dance workshops together”, who then bond together. “Unlike many other APACs,” says Katie Li, an APAC dancer, “Fine Arts APAC isn’t competitive; it is to perform purely for enjoyment and to showcase various skills and ideas.”

This year’s theme for APAC Dance Festival was “Breaking Boundaries”. The dance team captains Chelsea Hong and Michelle Sun explained that their dance was “very different style of dance” compared to what they had done in the past.

“I don’t know if people realize this, but dancing slow is very difficult,” said Chelsea, “because we have to capitalize on every single beat.” They explain that it is very difficult for many dancers to step out of their comfort zone, but through this APAC, the dancers “broke through their boundaries” by experiencing such a “modern and contemporary piece”, which “pushed them past their element.

Of course, the season was not without any challenges. In the beginning, the dancers had trouble coordinating with each other. According to Katie, “[they] definitely had a lot of trouble with synchronizing the movements with each other, especially when dancers have their own style and their own interpretation on the piece.” However, with months of training, the dancers improved tremendously.

At APAC, their biggest challenge was dealing with the absence of their choreographer. “Coach Lynette, the choreographer of our piece, did not travel with us because she was due to have a baby during APAC,” said Ms. Slaby, but captains “Michelle Sun and Chelsea Hong, rose to the challenge and led the team through warm-ups and practices.”In general, most were very satisfied with their performance at APAC, as overall, it was “one of the best ones that we’ve ever performed on stage.” A highlight of their dance was their “32 consecutive turns in sync”; the team received nothing but “wild applause when they did those amazing synchronized turns.”

Seven of ten dance team members will be gone next year: Joanna Gao, Jade Han, Chelsea Hong, Karen Hsu, Yuxi Lee, Chuli Roules, and Michelle Sun. This will have been their last year dancing for SAS Puxi, as they will graduate in May. The Activities Council wishes them the best of luck and hopes that each of them will carry their passion for dance everywhere they go.

Luca Lee

[almaasi]

Here’s a handy post with ALL 15 of the Destiel fics I posted this year!! (Total word count for the year: 366,181.)

2017 has been a year of drama, demisexual Cas, and dogs. (Seriously, a LOT of dogs.) Wow, I did awesome - and I think my personal health journey is well-reflected in the topics, from depression recovery and weirdness in January to fluff and smut in the last months of the year.

I hope you enjoy reading these even more than I enjoyed writing them ♥

✦ Mostly In Silence · 4k · G · hurt-comfort + depression recovery

Dean returns home to the bunker, only to find Castiel is lost in a deep depression. Taking their cues from the night sky (perhaps holding hands, perhaps sharing their first kiss), Dean helps Castiel rediscover a small but shining sense of hope.

✦ Lucid Nightmare · 10k · T · basically weird meta about fanfic AUs

there’s fire in this city // sirens, ghosts, and earthquakes // one night, you protect me // and we run until dawn breaks //

Or:

A spooky, fluffy, mind-warping existential-themed half-fic half-poem, in which Dean saves siren!Cas from a real-life waking nightmare and drives him to Bobby’s house for safety. But as Cas reveals more about himself and his past, Dean comes to realise he has to let his new winged friend enter his mind and dreamwalk, or else Cas will die.

✦ A Place and a Feeling · 24k · NC-17 · fluffy drama + domesticity + smut

Human AU. Dean Winchester still hasn’t found the perfect little house in the suburbs he’s always dreamed of. On the off-chance that another meeting with his totally adorkable realtor could finally change everything, Dean keeps going back to Castiel’s agency. Like Cas always says, home is both a place and a feeling. But what if the place Dean’s looking for is Castiel’s house, and the feeling is Castiel himself? Sometimes the most unprofessional choices lead to the most enjoyable personal consequences. This is one of those times.

✦ Our Garden Home · 36k · G · cute overload fairy AU

Flower fairy Dean has caught a thief in his trap. As it turns out, it wasn’t a mouse stealing his food. It was Castiel: a hissy, bitey bat sprite with one wing and a forlorn, lonely heart. Dean offers a warm space in his nest, where Castiel can stay until Springtime comes around again. However, Castiel becomes more than just a guest. With a little effort, he helps make Dean’s nest a home.

✦ Night Exhibition · 27k · NC-17 · friends to lovers + smut (rimming!)

Welcome to the world’s most generic museum. In the café, you’ll find Dean, putting dinosaur cut-outs on his award-winning apple pies. In the gift shop, you’ll find his snarky yet devastatingly handsome friend Castiel, folding t-shirts for a living. But Castiel has a second job as a night watchman, patrolling the marble halls and protecting the museum exhibits after dark. One night, Dean asks to tag along. He could never resist a crisp blue uniform, and he’ll take any opportunity to have his friend show it off. It might take all night, one dance, and a playful sex act (or five) in a few unusual places around the museum before either of them realise… maybe Dean’s interest was never about the uniform. And maybe their friendship was already something else.

✦ What We Ache For · 93k · NC-17 · hurt-comfort + domesticity

Working as a prostitute (that’s ‘sex worker’ to the decent folks), Castiel has heard more than his fair share of odd requests. When he’s paid to spend a night with Dean Winchester (handsome, dork of all dorks, has a nice car… secretly a cop), the last thing Castiel expects to hear are the words “I wanna make love.” That’s the one thing he’s never done before – so Dean is going to show him how to do it. But then, barely a month after that night is over, Castiel finds himself in a difficult situation, and Dean is mistakenly summoned to help. They begin to share again: Dean’s apartment, the spare bed, their deepest secrets. Over time, with the support of Dean’s brother Sam, a mystery dog, and lots of cuddles, kisses, comfort, and tea, maybe Cas can finally be loved the way he deserves.

✦ Purple Horse in a Coffee Shop · 8k · G · fun & silly office romance

Nobody expects to see a purple horse at a Pride parade. So, naturally, Dean Winchester is surprised to meet his office co-worker and long-term crush, Castiel, riding atop a magnificent steed - and dressed in full wizard regalia, no less. Somehow, Cas thinks he (and his decked-out horse) are wearing grey. They visit a coffee shop with their friends and family, trying to get to the bottom of this mix-up - and apparently the purple horse is coming too.

“One medium black coffee with two sugars; one macchiato; three small soy lattes; one large decaf with a caramel shot - and ten apples, please.”

✦ Unconditional · 2k · T · hurt-comfort + meta about Dean & John Winchester

Over the years, Dean’s learned a lot about himself, and the way he loves those around him. Now Cas is back from the dead, and he came back human - and hurt. As Dean soothes Cas’ wounds in the front seat of the Impala, an ache in his heart drives him to find words to explain.

✦ The Wireless · 58k · NC-17 · solar punk + the most holy-shit thing I have ever written imo

Cas Novak hosts a popular radio show, entertaining hunters with his psychic powers. But, in a world where monster-hunting is commonplace, he harbours a powerful secret: he’s not human, but an angel, surviving in a society unsympathetic to his kind. For six years, Cas has read out news stories describing a particularly impressive man: Dean Winchester, distinguished hunter and accidental prophet of God. Not by chance, Cas meets Dean at a sunny autumn carnival, where Dean’s taken a job at a kissing booth. One kiss - perhaps two - and they’re already old friends, sharing fairground food, a carousel ride, another kiss on the ferris wheel… Finally, safe in the tent Dean shares with his brother, Castiel feels comfortable enough to reveal those unknown pieces of himself. But come morning, bigger events separate the trio: an ancient beast is waking up, and a fearful world desperately needs to be united. Now Castiel has a reason to confess his true nature, broadcasting live on Hunter Radio. Of course, Dean is listening. And it’s only a matter of time before he replies.

✦ Marshmalloween · 33k · T · lighthearted “teenagers vs. a haunted swamp” adventure

In an attempt to be the world’s coolest guardian, Dean takes his seventeen-year old brother Sam and all his friends to a ‘haunted’ swamp for Halloween night. Even if the ghost stories are a load of baloney, at least the alligators are real. Dean is unexpectedly reunited with his childhood friend (and crush) Castiel, kickstarting a fun night of Halloween antics - marshmallow toasting, bottle spinning, kiss exchanging, and spooky storytelling around the campfire. But when Sam and his dog both go missing, Dean realises the stories his mother once told him are all true. Monsters are real. And unless Dean, Cas, and all of Sam’s friends can figure out how to bring Sam back, he might be lost forever.

✦ Restaurant Revelations · 4k · G · fluffy relationship reveal

Dean and Cas have something important to tell Sam. They don their cheap rental tuxes, and Cas takes out dinner reservations at an exclusive restaurant just for the occasion. Sam is surprised enough when he and Cas make it through the door. But Dean shows up five minutes late, and the restaurant’s security protocols surely make it impossible for him to join them. The secret password is “fiancé”. And somehow Dean knows without being told.

✦ Stumble and Fall · 20k · G · dog adventures + cuddles

Dog AU. Ever since Dean was a puppy, training to be the world’s best sniffer dog, he hasn’t been able to sleep alone. His newest mission takes him well out of his comfort zone: he’s teamed up with a search-and-rescue mutt named Castiel (who, presumably, still has the vet’s thermometer stuck up his ass). But Dean was never built for snowy mountains – and only by snuggling up tight will he and Castiel share enough heat to make it through the night. Except, once Dean is home safe, he finds himself pining for his canine friend…

✦ Pretty Panties and the Pool Shark · 6k · G · kid fic

Castiel is beginning to understand how deceitful his fellow ten-year-olds can be. All the other boys in his swim class keep trying to convince him that there’s a live shark in the pool. And now Dean’s claiming that the panties in his bag belong to his sister, when Castiel knows for a fact that Dean doesn’t have a sister. Castiel is sick of being lied to. But, once Dean reveals a few truths, perhaps they can find a way to make sure the other kids’ teasing comes back to bite them - so to speak.

✦ Whoa There Cowboy · 5k · NC-17 · cowboy kink smut

If you’re gonna jerk off, watch something you find sexy, Dean said. There’s a dirty cowboy movie on TV, and that suits him perfectly. But he never expected that Cas would want to watch him.

✦ The Emporium of Christmas Enchantments · 28k · G · Christmas magic + cute overload

Every night when the clock strikes twelve, all the toys in the toymaker’s workshop come to life. Dean is a little wooden soldier, so easily distracted by the pretty dolls. However, in the nights leading up to Christmas, he feels drawn to a very different kind of toy: Castiel, a kindhearted cowboy displayed on the other side of the store. Dean and Castiel spend all their time together, spreading joy and festive cheer throughout their miniature community. But once the Christmas rush comes around, will fate allow them to stay together? (Perhaps… with a little sprinkling of Christmas magic, even the wishes of simple toys can come true.)